#not to be confused with the real beer made in LA

[frogshunnedshadows]

Official fake commercial for the fake beer of the Alien universe. Nice touch, guys. I appreciate it.

[lazybutsmexy]

Infused

Alejandro Vargas x f!reader (Avispa)

Masterlist Prologue

Chapter 1: Mate with tea: Disgust

Warnings: alcohol consumption

“Coronel, Ricardo is here.” 

Alejandro looked up from his files to see Rodriguez standing by the door to his office. Both men looked equally puzzled at each other, since it was uncommon for his informant to come directly into the base. It couldn’t mean anything good. 

“Send him in,” he ordered, and Rodriguez nodded and walked out. Alejandro rubbed his temple with his index finger, his concern growing the more he tried to think. When Ricardo walked in, Alejandro looked at him with a frown. “Was your cover blown?”

“Uh, no, at least I don’t think so, Coronel,” Ricardo was quick to answer, his expression just as confused as his superior, “but someone found me, and has a message for you. She knows I work for you, and wants to collaborate… I think.”

That made Alejandro’s eyebrows shoot up, “we don’t take any outside informants, it’s too risky for them.” 

“I told her that, but she said you need her more than you think,” Ricardo sat down with a low grunt, resting his head on his hand. The man was visibly tired, a shell of the man he used to be just a year ago. Also, his wedding ring was missing. Undercover work wasn’t easy for anyone or their families, and Alejandro respected his sacrifice like few would. 

Alejandro frowned a little, thinking about this strange woman’s proposition. Another informant wouldn’t really hurt them, but the risk was too great, and even more for women. Las Almas cartel was known for their violence, and they took no consessions - no matter their age or gender, a person was just a body to use until it broke.

Still, Alejandro was partially curious about whoever was this woman who was willing to put her life on the line for the cause. she could be the family member of a member of the cartel, desperate to get them out. Perhaps, with the right incentive, he may be able to talk her out of it. 

“...Alright,” he finally said after thinking in silence for a few minutes, “set up a meeting at the Marcela bar, I’ll listen to her at least.”

“Bien, Coronel,” Ricardo stood up, sighing softly. Before he walked out, he stopped, and slowly turned around to face his superior again. “One more thing,” he added, his voice showing enough hesitancy to catch Alejandro’s attention, “I may be seeing things, but this is no ordinary woman… I think she’s military.”

Bar Marcela was a cozy little hole-in-the wall, but its cute appeal was deceiving. Owned and served by Marcela Romero Marín, the bar was akin to a pirate ship, ran by a captain as vicious as the big names in the business. Marcela was one of the few who hadn’t given in to the cartel’s threats, and stayed loyal to the people of Las Almas. She had more than once fostered orphans victims of the war on drugs, and put more than a dozen lost teenagers back on track before they even joined the cartel out of desperation. 

Bar Marcela was a safe place - or as safe as could be - for Alejandro’s meeting with the mystery woman who wished to be an informant. He had given Marcela a heads-up about the meeting, and by the time he arrived, her dark eyes met him immediately. The moment he approached the bar, she leaned in, her voice sweet and welcoming. 

“Coronel, it’s always a pleasure to see you by,” Marcela smiled and offered him her hand, her gold tooth glinting in the neon lights. The wrinkles in her cheek were the only clue to her real age, which she adamantly denied to reveal. 

“Marcela,” Alejandro greeted her, taking her offered hand and kissing the back of it. A proper señora of Las Almas shouldn’t be greeted in any lesser form. “Get me a beer and some nachos, please.”

“Sure thing, amor,” she winked, turning around and flagging one of her employees to get the food ready. She opened a beer, handing it to him with two glasses. When Alejandro looked at the second glass, she nodded in the direction of a table tucked in at the corner, where a lone woman with curly hair sat. “Your mystery woman is over there, may appreciate a cold beer.” 

Alejandro thanks her with a smile, taking the beer and glasses and walking across the bar to the table. The moment he laid eyes on her, he was studying her. She was sitting with her back to the corner, giving her ample view of her surroundings. their eyes met, and he could see the recognition. 

He sat down, pouring both glasses, letting her choose one. When she did, he took the other one and took a long swig. “I’m Coronel Alejandro Vargas. I’ve been told you want to work as an informant for the Special Forces,” he began, looking into her eyes as he spoke, “are you sure you know what it entails?” His voice was soft, but carried a no-nonsense tone. He wanted to make sure such an offering entailed a serious conversation. 

“I’m sure,” she spoke, matching his tone and taking a slow sip of the cold beer. “I have ways of getting whatever information you want, and particular reasons to help you.” 

Alejandro’s brow tensed, and he let out a soft sigh, shaking his head. “Look, preciosa, being an informant, especially as a woman, carries a special kind of danger, entiendes?”

Avispa would swoon at Alejandro’s concern over her well-being, but she was a big girl. 

Alejandro continued with his speech, his tone growing in desperate concern as he realized the woman in front of him wasn’t backing down, her expression as decided as the beginning. “What is that particular reason you want to be an informant for us, anyway?” He sighed, pouring himself another glass. 

Avispa smirked a little, and decided to show him her cards. “Because I want to kill el Sin Nombre, Coronel.” She took a slow sip of her beer, watching his reaction. 

Alejandro stopped mid-sip, staring at her. The wheels started turning in his head, his eyes darkening at her words. He leaned in, his voice lost its concerned hue and turned low and warning. “El Sin Nombre is to be brought to justice, not assassinated.”

“What justice, Coronel?” Avispa leaned in as well, her eyes glinting in the shadow of her fringe. “You know better than me how corrupt the justice system is in Las Almas, and I don’t need to tell you how someone like el Sin Nombre doesn’t deserve to exist.”

“Even if that’s true, I won’t let you play vigilante in Las Almas,” he said, “I won’t let a stranger like you taint the Special Forces and all the good work we’ve done.”

Avispa began to understand how important it was to Alejandro and those under his command to be the ones ending the cartel’s operations. He was a local, he had witnessed first-hand how his hometown fell to drugs and violence. His determination to clean the bad weed from the root awoke respect for him. 

“I don’t pretend to become a local hero, Vargas,” Avispa sighed, taking a sip of her beer, “from the beginning, I was planning on using my tactical skills to help you, and making it look like it was done by the Special Forces,” she explained, shrugging a little, “I only need a photograph of Sin Nombre dead, and I’ll be out of your hair.”

That comment caught Alejandro’s attention, and he practically growled, his fingers gripping the glass so hard it was a miracle it didn’t break. He remembered Ricardo’s words - “I think she’s military” - and put it together with her desire to kill el Sin Nombre. “You’re a contractor,” he stated, “you were hired to kill him.”

“I can offer you assistance in ways you can’t get it legally,” Avispa retorted, narrowing her eyes, “I know you need that, we both know you need that. There’s only so many things Los Vaqueros can do to get under el Sin Nombre’s skin.”

Alejandro said nothing, just put some bills on the table and stood up. “I’m done with this conversation,” his statement was final, but he pointed a finger at her to drive it home. “Don’t get in my way. I won’t hesitate to get rid of you, or anyone who interferes with my job.”

Avispa watched him with a serious expression, and as he turned away from him, she called out. “Time is running out, Coronel, and I can help.”

The door of the bar shut loudly behind him, and Avispa stayed to finish her beer. It was a good enough beer. 

Taglist

@warenai @queen-of-hearts-lemon-tarts @embers-of-alluring @wolfyland07

[corleonewrites]

La Vérité

AU: Anatomy of a Fall (2023)

Vincent Renzi x Original Female Character fanfic.

Summary: Two people connected by the same past. Two lawyers. And one tangled case which brought them back together again, giving them the opportunity to sort out their feelings towards each other, no matter how painful memories are to both of them can be.

Chapter 9 (Final). Suite Bergamasque, L. 75: Clair de Lune

We talked through almost the whole night, while we were lying in bed. Firstly, it felt surreal: I forgot how it was like to lay on Vincent’s chest, when we used to spend nights together, years ago. Never knew that I’d felt the same thing again, after countless lonely nights.

The night seemed endless, we completely lost our time, talking quietly to each other, opening hearts and minds to each other without realizing how both of us fell asleep, when the winter’s sun began to slowly rise up behind the window.

______________________________________________________________

It was the last hearing of our case and surprisingly for myself I was calm as never before during the hearings of this case. Maybe it was because of the indications which Daniel, Sandra’s son, gave to the court, which could turn the whole thing in the different direction, but I was sure that it was not only because of it. The idea that Vincent and I finally sorted every confusion and misunderstanding out between us, giving the opportunity to start all over again, when all the mistakes were made and figured out.

My heart was beating fast when it was the time to hear the verdict. I looked at Vincent slightly, when I felt fingers of his hand slightly touching mine, only couple of centimeters were separating us. In that moment all my thoughts narrowed down into one small dot.

I don’t remember what I felt when we heard the acquittal verdict. It felt like it was real and surreal at the same time. But what I remember clearly how the relief covered my whole body and how strongly I was struggling to calm myself down and not to kiss Renzi deeply in his lips and put my hands inside his soft hair right in front of the whole court with judges and the jury.

______________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe that this whole thing is finally over. Can’t believe that tonight I’ll sleep calmly in my house, knowing that I’m innocent”

We were sitting in the café, celebrating the closed case. It was late at night, and almost all the visitors left the café, except for our small table which consisted of only three of us. This time it didn’t bother me at all, as Vincent’s was around my waist.

“All of us need a very good deep sleep. We deserved it”, Renzi replied, taking a sip from his bottle of beer.

“Agree”, I said, taking a look at the clocks on the wall: it was almost midnight.

“Are you planning to spend some time here in Grenoble?”, Sandra asked, looking at both of us.

“We, actually, got tickets to Paris, we’re leaving the day after tomorrow”, Vincent replied, when I added, placing my bottle of cider on the table:

“All I need now are two weeks off that’s for sure. My head was filled with all those details, I need to clear it off”

“I quite understand that”, Sandra smiled a little, and also looked at the clocks, “Oh, it’s getting too late, I should come home now”, she stood up, taking her bag.

We gave her a hug and said our goodbyes. It was so strange that it was all ending now, when we spent a lot of time together, during hearings. It felt like the part of me was also leaving me. My head was dizzy and I sat back on the chair. I didn’t see how Sandra left the room, when I heard Vincent’s voice:

“Are you okay, Camille?”

I opened my eyes slowly, looking at Renzi’s worried face, as he was holding both of my shoulders, being afraid that I’d fall from my set, but I felt myself well and secured. When he was near me.

“I’m fine, Vincent.”

“Tired?”

“Very.”

“It’s time to go back home”, he said softly, looking at me with that sweet calm look, as he did before. Now that look came back.

I just sighed and he placed his forehead on against mine and kissed it softly after some seconds. I quietly placed my head on his shoulder, when he placed his arm around my waist once again. It felt so calm and quiet. The stress left me and I finally felt myself secured. In that exact moment there were only two of us and no one else in the world. Ex-tutor and ex-student, two lawyers, two lovers and the tangled story that united us again. This time strongly and without turning back.

______________________________________________________________

Fin

[starlightbuck]

how am i supposed to live without you

word count: 6,644 || read on AO3

Buck deflates, body going slack as he leans back against his sofa. He read through the gossip articles earlier between calls, enough of them to prove the validity of the breaking news story, but hearing Eddie confirm it makes it real.

Eddie is embarking on a nationwide tour with one of the most popular singers in the world.

And he’s going to be leaving Buck behind to do so.

Or

In which Eddie goes away on tour and Buck has to adjust to living without him.

“Buck! How could you not tell us?”

Buck freezes, coffee mug halfway to his lips as his coworkers stare at him with varying degrees of emotions plastered on their faces. Hen’s excitement. Chim’s amusement. Bosko’s confusion. Bobby’s concern.

It’s the last expression that worries Buck the most.

“Tell you what?”

“About Eddie!”

Buck lowers his mug back onto the table and eyes the team suspiciously. They’ve brought Eddie up many times in the past, much to Buck’s chagrin.

Have you two gotten your heads out of your asses and started dating yet?

You two are awfully close.

How does it feel to be a co-parent?

How’s your boo doing?

It’s that line of questioning and teasing that makes Buck particularly apprehensive about whatever it is his friends are going to say to him about Eddie today. “What about him?”

Bosko rolls her eyes. “Quit playing dumb.”

Buck reels back, the words packing a hard punch. He doesn’t know what he’s done to draw Bosko’s ire, but it only deepens the rapidly growing pit in Buck’s stomach. It reminds him of how he felt all throughout high school at some prestigious place his parents forced him to attend. He was the only new kid and that, coupled with the weird birthmark on his face, made him an outcast right off the bat. His classmates would whisper things as he passed by and made it a point to talk about him when he wasn’t around, always sure to keep a tight leash on some secret about Buck that they never bothered to share with him.

Buck swallows back the acrid taste of inadequacy, hating that even after all these years, it can still make its way to the surface. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Bobby’s face does something complicated. Bosko shuffles uncomfortably. Chim and Hen both frown.

“I thought you knew,” Hen says in the same measured voice she uses when talking to a victim at one of the scenes they’re working. Buck has always marveled at how it can keep those they’re trying to save calm. He wishes it could have the same effect on him. “I wouldn’t have said anything otherwise.”

“Knew what?” Buck’s heart is racing, trying to piece together whatever pieces of the puzzle everyone else has already solved. He stands, ready to walk, run, fly, do something if that’s what he needs to do. What Eddie needs him to do. “Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

For one terrifying moment, no one so much as moves a muscle or breathes. It’s as though they’re suspended in time, the brief pause right before the climax unfolds and leaves a mess in its wake.

It’s Hen who holds her phone out to Buck. He takes it and almost immediately wishes he hadn’t. His knees give out and he’s lucky that his chair is there to keep him from hitting the floor.

There on the bright screen is a face he knows too well under a headline he doesn’t know how to make sense of.

Unknown LA Artist Eddie Diaz Tapped as Opener for Priscilla King’s Highly Anticipated Stadium Tour

Buck is sitting alone in his apartment with a half-full beer in his hand when someone knocks on his door.

“Buck? You in there?”

Buck takes a hearty swig of his drink instead of responding.

“I saw your Jeep out front, you’ve gotta be in there.”

Buck should’ve parked around the corner.

“I’m coming in.”

The sound of a key being inserted and twisted in the doorknob is loud in the otherwise silent space. The noise is a temporary reprieve from the thoughts that have been swirling around in Buck’s mind since this morning.

Lights brighten the once dark apartment and Buck has to blink in rapid succession to adjust to the unexpected change.

“Is there any reason why you’re sitting alone in the dark?” Eddie questions, rounding the sofa and taking a seat beside Buck. Buck doesn’t say anything, doesn’t trust himself to. “Chris was really disappointed that you didn’t come by tonight.”

And that? Well, that’s not fair. Anyone with eyes knows that Chris is Buck’s weakness - he’d capture the moon and bring it back down to earth if Chris asked him to.

“I’ll apologize next time I see him.” Buck’s voice is gruff from disuse, and he hopes that’ll hide the undercurrent of hurt that wedges itself between each of his words.

He’s not sure how many more ‘next times’ he has with Chris. Or Eddie.

How does that saying go again? You never know what you have until it’s gone. In his defense, Buck always knew what he had - he just wasn’t expecting it to be ripped away from him. Not like this.

“Are you okay?”

Buck hates that question with every fiber of his being. If there was a way for him to eradicate it from the English language, he would. Has anyone ever answered that question honestly? He doubts it and he doesn’t intend to be the first to do so either. “Yeah.”

Eddie slides over on the sofa so that his shoulder brushes Buck’s. Usually, that small touch is enough to send sparks racing down Buck’s spine. Now it’s bittersweet, tainted by a ticking clock that is counting down the time Buck has left with Eddie.

“Buck.”

It’s not fair that Eddie can make Buck’s name sound so beautiful. Then again, Eddie has a tendency of making even the simplest things sound like a lovely melody. Buck used to, still does, love that about him. But he loves it a little less now that he knows it’s that same talent that’s going to take Eddie away from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out?”

Beside him, Eddie inhales sharply. “Who told you?”

“The internet.”

Technically Hen did, but the internet is close enough to the truth.

“Fuck.” Eddie stands and Buck almost reaches out for him, but it’s not his place to do so. Even if he wishes it was. “I was planning to tell you tonight, but you never came by.”

Then, almost as an afterthought, Eddie adds, “I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

Buck deflates, body going slack as he leans back against his sofa. He read through the gossip articles earlier between calls, enough of them to prove the validity of the breaking news story, but hearing Eddie confirm it makes it real.

Eddie is embarking on a nationwide tour with one of the most popular singers in the world.

And he’s going to be leaving Buck behind to do so.

The only person Buck has to blame for being caught off guard by this is himself. He tricked himself into believing that maybe, just maybe, Eddie would be the one to stay. It was foolish logic compounded by wishful thinking and an imagination that’s constantly running wild.

Buck’s never been worth sticking around for in the past. Why would things be any different now?

This moment isn’t about him and his inability to find anyone who thinks he’s worth staying for though. It’s about Eddie and the fact that he’s finally achieving a dream that he’s been working towards for much longer than Buck’s known him. So, Buck shoves aside the steadily spreading ache in his chest and musters up the biggest smile that he can. He hopes it’s convincing.

“A tour with the Priscilla King? Eddie, that’s huge.”

“I know.” Eddie runs a hand through his hair, dislodging a couple of strands that end up hanging in his face. “I know. It’s insane. I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Well it is and no one deserves it more than you.”

It’s something Buck believed when he first heard Eddie perform at a dive bar a couple of years ago and it’s what he still believes to this day.

“Thank you,” Eddie says, before taking a seat in front of Buck on the edge of his coffee table. “For coming to my small shows. For always cheering the loudest. For taking Chris on nights when I got last-minute gigs. For helping me record and post my covers. For telling me I could do this on the days that I was convinced I couldn’t.”

There’s a stinging at the back of Buck’s eyes but he opts to counteract that feeling by biting the corner of his lip. He can’t cry. He won’t.

Even if this feels like a goodbye.

“Your support saw me through this and got me to where I am today. So, although it doesn’t feel like just saying this is enough, thank you.”

Eddie takes Buck’s hand, the one that isn’t still holding onto his almost empty beer bottle and laces their fingers together. The air is forcibly dragged out of Buck’s lungs, and he’s convinced that he’ll never breathe easily again. Not with the knowledge that Eddie won’t be around anymore.

Buck thought they had more time. It’s why he never pushed this thing that they’ve got going on between them. The lingering touches. The sometimes-flirty banter. The need to constantly spend any free time together. He was convinced that one day, the two of them would figure it out. They’d get their shit together and stop toeing the line between being close friends and something more.

Maybe they would’ve. But Eddie is leaving, and Buck doesn’t know how to tell him that he’s taking Buck’s heart with him.

“Nothing’s going to change between us, right?” Eddie questions, his hand squeezing Buck’s tightly. Buck relishes in the added pressure, thoughts trailing off to an alternate world where Eddie wasn’t sitting here telling Buck he was leaving. Instead, he’d be asking Buck to come with him.

It’s unrealistic, Buck’s aware of that, but he can’t stop himself from thinking about it. In that version of his daydreams, Buck would’ve been a braver man and already told Eddie how he feels. Buck’s not brave though, not when it comes to love. He’s put himself out there too many times in the past only to end up burned.

It’s not like anything will change the fact that Eddie’s leaving anyways.

“Nothing’s going to change, Eddie. We won’t let it.”

Everything changes because of course it does.

In some ways, it happens all at once.

Everything in the Diaz household is packed up and either put into storage or shoved into the small nooks and crannies of Abuela’s house. Carla helps Eddie find an aide who can join him on tour and keep up with Chris’s needs. The school Chris was attending provides recommendations for a tutor who will make sure Chris stays on track for the last month of school before summer vacation.  

In other ways, it’s a slow progression that somehow manages to do more damage to Buck’s heart than saying goodbye at the airport to two of his favorite people in the world did.

At first, Eddie makes it a point to FaceTime Buck every night, no matter what. He’ll let Chris catch up with Buck first before he takes the phone, letting their conversation stretch for as long as he can.

The FaceTime calls transition into sporadic phone calls because Eddie rarely has any free time and, when he does, he’s too exhausted to maintain a conversation. There are nights when he falls asleep five minutes into a phone call with Buck and Buck stays on the line because he might not have Eddie with him anymore, but at least he has this.

Then the phone calls become texts because there isn’t even time for Eddie to speak on the phone with Buck anymore.

Buck knew this was coming, but he still wasn’t ready. Not to open his thread of messages to Eddie and see far more blue messages than gray. To see the way he tries to maintain a conversation that Buck’s sure Eddie barely cares about having.  

In summation, Eddie’s gone and Buck’s whole world is turned upside down. They swore nothing would change, but everything has and it’s Buck who’s left behind to pick up the shattered remains of his heart while the rest of the world falls ever more in love with Eddie Diaz.

‘I loved him first’ is what Buck wants to say.

He never does.

“I don’t think I can keep doing this to myself,” Buck slurs, wine glass in his hand almost empty.

It’s been a month and a half since Eddie left and Buck feels the loss every day. Even more so now that they aren’t in contact like they used to be.

“You shouldn’t have to,” Karen responds, words only barely clearer than Buck’s. Her wine glass has been abandoned on the coffee table alongside the two bottles of wine Buck brought along with him for this specific purpose.

He’s been sad, unendingly so and it was Karen who finally called him out on it during dinner at Bobby and Athena’s one night. She left him no choice but to agree to swing by during one of Hen’s overnight shifts so they could talk.

“I miss him.”

“I know, honey.” Karen reaches out and covers one of Buck’s hands with her own. Her touch is a comfort that grounds him in this moment in place of the thoughts of Eddie that constantly plague his mind. “I think it’s time that you do what’s best for you.”

“Eddie’s what’s best for me,” Buck confesses, the alcohol making his tongue much looser than ever before. He’s never said these words aloud to anyone before, not even to himself.

“Maybe he was,” Karen counters, suddenly much more sober than before. Or maybe she was never drunk to begin with, and it only seemed that way to Buck because of how much he’s had to drink. “But he’s not now and you deserve better.”

“I deserve better,” Buck parrots, rolling the words around in his mouth. He says them again just because he can. “I deserve better.”

Karen smiles, a lopsided thing that makes Buck smile too.

“You do. And I think that means distancing yourself from Eddie.”

Buck’s heart skips a beat. “But-”

“Eddie put that distance between the two of you first. I’m sure he didn’t mean to, but it happened and you’re paying the price because of it. Now I think it’s your turn to do the same.”

Buck doesn’t respond, opting to finish off the last of his wine. It burns a little on the way down, but the sting is nothing in comparison to swallowing back the truth behind Karen’s words.’’

Eddie (2:42am): hey! how are you?

Buck wakes up to the message a couple of days after his alcohol-induced confession to Karen. His first thought is to respond right away, heart ratcheting up at the sight of Eddie’s name in his notifications again. But then he sees all the messages that he’s sent to Eddie over the past few weeks, the ones that went unanswered, and he changes his mind.

“I deserve better,” he whispers, locking his phone and getting out of bed.

“Hey, Buck! I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, but I just wanted to drop in and see how things are going. How’s the station? Chim play any good pranks on you lately?”

Buck listens to the voicemail twice. He almost hits the “Call Back” button, but he can’t bring himself to do it. So he doesn’t.

Eddie (11:24pm): did you get my voicemail?

Buck stares at the text, a hint of gray in the otherwise blue landscape that makes up his text chain with Eddie. His fingers hover over his keyboard, trying to come up with something to say, when the alarm sounds. Buck, along with the rest of the 118, make their way to the truck for yet another call.

He puts his phone in his pocket and forgets all about responding.

“I just spoke to Chris, and he said you guys spoke last night? When I tried calling, you didn’t answer. Call me back when you get this?”

“Evan Buckley, now is not the time to be on your phone.”

Buck jolts, the reprimand made louder by the alcohol coursing through his system. “Just give me a second. I have to-”

“Oh no no no,” Karen tells him, coming by and plucking his phone right out of his hand. Her warm fingers circle around his wrist as she tugs him toward a dimly lit stage. “You and I are doing this duet. No chickening out now.”

Somewhere in the background, Buck hears Chim squawking, Hen yelling, and Bobby reminding Buck that he doesn’t have to give in to peer pressure.

It all steels his resolve.

“Let’s knock their socks off.”

Eddie (2:07am): i miss you

Buck, having put Eddie on ‘Do Not Disturb’, never sees the message.

“Buck! How could you not tell us?”

Hen, Chim, Bobby and Bosko surround him in the locker room, and it gives Buck the worst sense of déjà vu. It takes him a second to place the origin of this feeling but, when he does, it’s like someone ripped the rug right out from under Buck’s feet.

The last time this happened, Buck found out about Eddie leaving for tour. Although it’s a wound that has healed over time, it’s still a sore spot that he’d much rather not revisit.

“No.”

“No?” Chim sounds as perplexed as the rest of the team looks.

“No,” Buck confirms, lacing up his shoes before standing. Their shift is just starting and the last thing he needs is to be distracted when there are lives on the line.

Hen holds her phone out towards him, and he resists the urge to take it from her and toss it in the nearest garbage can. That phone has done enough damage in the past. He won’t let it do so in the present as well. “But-”

“No.”

“But it’s E-”

“No.”

The fourth ‘no’ must do the trick because the semi-circle they created around him gets broken up. Bosko is the first one to go, followed by Chim and then Hen.

Bobby lingers the longest and Buck is expecting him to say something, but the captain just squeezes Buck’s shoulder before following the rest of the team out of the room.

“Hi, Bucky!”

Buck smiles despite the all too familiar ache that comes with only being able to see a pixelated version of Christopher. It’s not the same as the real thing, but he reminds himself that it’s also better than nothing. “Hey, buddy! How are you doing today?”

Chris is bouncing in his seat, having far more energy than Buck would expect out of him at this time. “Good! Did you see the video of daddy?”

“What video?” Buck asks because the alternative is admitting that he has made it a point to avoid all things Eddie-related for his own well-being. That’s not a conversation he’d know how to go about navigating, especially not with Chris.

Chris stops moving, lips turning down in a frown that sends a wave of guilt crashing over Buck. He never wants to be the cause of his favorite person’s unhappiness.

“Daddy sang last night at the concert. When I saw Priscilla this morning, she said that it was everywhere.” Chris does that on occasion, namedrops Priscilla King as if she’s not the single most sought after star in the music industry right now. Buck is sure that it’s going to make Chris the envy of all of his classmates when he goes back to school. “I asked her if she thought you saw it and she said yes.”

Had the circumstances been different, Buck might’ve been awestruck over the fact that one of the most famous celebrities in the world is aware of his existence, all thanks to a nine-year-old.

“I’m sure it was great,” Buck says, wholeheartedly meaning it. He’s had firsthand experience with Eddie’s singing in the past. Him being chosen as the opener for Priscilla King’s tour was no fluke.

“You have to watch the video.”

Chris has only ever used that tone in the past during moments of urgency. Usually, Buck would have no choice but to buckle under the pressure of Chris’s gaze and do as he’s been told, but this is different. He can’t do it. Not after he’s finally gotten to a place where losing Eddie has transitioned from excruciating to painful but manageable.

It’s taken him time to get to this point and he can’t jeopardize that for anything or anyone. Chris included.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Chris asks with a pout that Buck desperately wishes he could erase off of the young child’s face.

“I just can’t.”

“Is it because you can’t find it? I can ask Priscilla to send it to you if you want.” Chris’s innocence surrounding the situation somehow manages to make all of this worse. “You have to watch it. Daddy sang the song just for you.”

The blood in Buck’s veins runs cold. Of all the things Chris could’ve said, Buck can’t say that he was expecting that.

“You mean he sang a song for everyone.”

“If everything that Chris has told me about you is true, there was no way the song could be for anyone but you,” a female voice says from somewhere off-screen.

Chris looks towards a spot of the room Buck can’t see before grinning widely. Chris shifts the tablet and Buck tries to withhold a gasp and fails because, standing there in all her glory is Priscilla King.

“So you’re the famous Buck these Diaz boys can’t stop talking about,” Priscilla drawls, something akin to delight flickering in her brown eyes. “I can see what all the hype is about.”

“I-” Buck starts, words failing him in a way that they haven’t since he was a teenager. Living in LA has desensitized him to most celebrities, so much so that he usually scoffs at stories of people becoming starstruck when meeting someone famous. It seemed ludicrous to him that a random stranger could have that effect on another person, all because of their social status.

This must be karma coming back to bite him in the ass in the most devious way possible. It’s the only way to explain his inability to form a proper word, let alone a full sentence. He can’t do much more than open and close his mouth in the hopes that something coherent will magically slip past his lips.

“Bucky, are you okay?”

Priscilla laughs, a deep chuckle that is in stark contrast to the dulcet singing he’s used to hearing on the radio. “I think he’s a little surprised to be talking to me.”

“Why?” Chris asks, genuine confusion overtaking his features.

“This is why you’re one of my favorite people on this tour, Chris.” Priscilla ruffles Chris’s hair, making him giggle.

It’s the familiarity of the scene that breaks Buck through his temporary celebrity-induced haze. Without the shock coursing through him, he can get back to the topic at hand. The same one he is struggling to wrap his head around.

“Why do you both think that Eddie sang a song for me?”

“Just watch the video and you’ll know why. In fact,” Priscilla pauses to take her phone out of her pocket and begins tapping away on the screen, “my team recorded a better version of the performance than you’ll find on YouTube. If you give me your number, I can text it to you.”

“I know Bucky’s number!” Chris reaches for Priscilla’s phone with wiggling fingers, and she hands it over without a second thought. It takes him less than a minute to type in the ten digits that make up Buck’s number, something he learned to do because of Eddie’s insistence.

If, for whatever reason, I can’t get to you, Buck will.

Those words had rung in Buck’s head long after Eddie said them.

It’s the buzz of an incoming text message that brings Buck out of the memory. When he checks his phone, he has one new text from an unknown number and there’s a video attached to it.

Whatever look crosses his face, Priscilla must catch it because she says, “I know it’s scary, but take the leap. I promise it’ll be worth it.

It takes a few hours filled with a lot of pacing and false starts before Buck finally finds the courage to pull out his laptop and open the link that Priscilla sent him.

“I hope you guys don’t mind, but I’m going to do a different cover tonight,” Eddie announces, fingers lightly strumming his guitar. Incoherent screaming can be heard in the background and the hint of a smile graces Eddie’s features. The screaming only grows louder.

“I had someone back home.” Eddie’s fingers still and he looks out into the crowd, eyes searching as if he can conjure up this person from his thoughts alone. “And I messed it up. I let them slip right through my fingers even though I knew - I know that they’re everything I could ever want.”

Buck doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Doesn’t breathe.

He’s not a part of that crowd, but he’s as enraptured as everyone else is.

Eddie’s gaze drops down to the mic in front of him. He exhales deeply, the sound reverberating around the stadium. “So, if you’re out there, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for waiting so damn long and I’m sorry for pushing you away. If you’re listening, this is for you.”  

Eddie strums his guitar, and people must know what he’s about to sing from those chords alone because there’s more screaming.

“I could hardly believe it when I heard the news today. I had to come and get it straight from you.”

The lyrics are vaguely familiar to Buck, but it’s Eddie’s voice that renders Buck awestruck. It has been so long since he heard Eddie sing that hearing it again now is like that first time he heard it in a bar over three years ago. He had never known that a voice could be so beautiful, that it could make him feel so much, until he met Eddie.

“They said you were leavin’, someone’s swept your heart away. From the look upon your face, I see it’s true.”

Music has always amazed Buck. Songwriters can take topics as complex as love and heartbreak and fitting them into a song that only lasts a few minutes. Then singers take those words and infuse them with seemingly endless emotions.

In this case, Eddie has found the perfect song to match the heartbreaking melody that has been playing on repeat in Buck’s mind since he found out that Eddie and Chris were leaving for tour.

“So tell me all about it, tell me ‘bout the plans you’re makin’. Oh, then tell me one thing more before I go.”

Buck is mesmerized.

Over the past three years, he has seen Eddie perform in countless places. In coffee shops, open mic nights at random restaurants, and on small stages in bars, but none of them have done him justice.

This, a grand stage, is where Eddie belongs.

“Tell me, how am I supposed to live without you? Now that I’ve been loving you so long. How am I supposed to live without you and how am I supposed to carry on? When all that I’ve been living for is gone.”

And with those words, Buck gets it. He understands how Chris and Priscilla, and probably everyone at work too, knew exactly who Eddie was dedicating this song to.

The yearning in Eddie’s voice is a mirror to the yearning in Buck’s heart. It’s the only way to explain how his heart calls out to Eddie as if it’s being called home after being lost for so long.

“And I’m too proud for cryin’, didn’t come here to break down. It’s just a dream of mine is coming to an end. And how can I blame you when I built my world around the hope that one day, we’d be so much more than friends?”

Luckily no one is around to see Buck reach out to his laptop screen and graze his knuckles over Eddie’s face. Those brown eyes that Buck has spent what feels like his whole life falling in love with give nothing away while Eddie sings.

His voice though.

His voice is singing everything that Buck only ever dreamed of hearing Eddie say.

“Now I don’t wanna know the price I’m gonna pay for dreaming. Oh, now that your dream has come true.”

The price that Buck had to pay for Eddie’s dreams coming true was steep. More so than even he was anticipating. It’s a price that he paid then and a price he knows he'd wholeheartedly pay again just to see Eddie where he is now - on stage and getting all the love and attention he deserves.

But this moment, this song, is different. It feels like a new dream being realized.

A new start.

“Tell me, how am I supposed to live without you? Now that I’ve been loving you so long. How am I supposed to live without you and how am I supposed to carry on? When all that I’ve been living for is gone...”

The song ends and, for a second, there’s silence. Eddie’s chest heaves from the exertion of his singing and, when he looks up, the audience yells at the top of their lungs. It startles Eddie, so much so that he takes a couple of steps backwards.

Then, as if remembering where he is, he throws his free arm up to wave and smile at everyone.

The smile doesn’t fully reach his eyes.

Buck’s vision is blurry when he types up the only message he can think to send.

Buck (8:32pm): do you have any tickets for your LA show next month?

He puts his phone down, unsure of how long it’ll take for him to receive a response.

That’s why he’s so surprised when his phone chimes only seconds later.

Priscilla (8:32pm): I’ll personally fly you out to our next show myself if it means Eddie will stop moping around.

“Are you nervous?”

Buck’s heart squeezes at the sound of that voice, having spent far too long only hearing it over a phone or computer as compared to in person.

“Yeah, buddy,” he says to Christopher, who is sitting in the chair beside him. “I am.”

“You don’t have to be though. It’s just daddy.”

The simplicity of those words is a sharp contrast to the situation that’s about to unfold. Even more so because Eddie has never been ‘just’ anything to Buck.

“They’re ready for you,” a woman with a headset and clipboard informs Buck and Christopher. “I’m going to walk you over now.”

The instructions are easy to follow and yet, the thought of standing up feels as insurmountable as climbing a mountain. Once Buck gets up, the plan that has been a week in the making will be set in motion. There will be no turning back.

It’s terrifying to think that after everything that he and Eddie have been through together, this is the way the page is going to turn on their relationship. Not in a small and quiet way, like Buck had always dreamed about, but on an unfamiliar stage in a packed stadium full of people neither Eddie nor Buck have ever met before.

“C’mon, Bucky.” Chris holds out a hand to Buck and, if there’s anything that Buck has ever been happy to fail spectacularly at, it’s this. His inability to say no to Chris. Without it, he would be frozen to his spot, ready but afraid to find out what comes next.

They walk through the backstage area together, the stadium’s employee at the front guiding them through the darkness with a flashlight. She must be cognizant of the need to not rush through the sometimes small and other times crowded spaces to allow Chris the ability to keep up with her.

As they draw closer to the stage, Buck can hear the chanting of the crowd. It is a long way away from the small bars and pubs that Eddie used to frequent. Back then, having more than twenty people in the crowd was a big deal. Now, Eddie is easily singing to tens of thousands of people at least four times a week.

They say nothing can prepare you for being thrust into the spotlight, so Buck wonders how Eddie prepared for this. He desperately wishes he could ask.

“Minnesota, you’ve been great tonight! Is it okay if I do one last song for you?”

Chris squeals, gripping Buck’s hand tightly. This is the cue they’ve been waiting for and, from their position on the side of the stage, they have the best view in the arena to watch it all unfold.  

“I have a new song -”

“Now now, hold on there Cowboy,” a voice interjects. The audience’s screams amplify tenfold as Priscilla strolls out on stage with a microphone in one hand and a stool in another. Buck is tempted to cover his ears but doing so means letting go of Chris’s hand and he’s not sure what he’s liable to do once he lets go. Chris is his anchor, and, without his touch, Buck is almost certain he’ll let himself be washed away at sea.

“Hey, P. What’re you doing out here? Trying to steal my thunder?”

Priscilla sets the stool beside Eddie and takes a seat on it. She props her arm on his shoulder, eyes twinkling when she leans in so she can use his mic to say, “you do know that this is my tour so, if there’s anyone stealing my thunder, it’s you.”

There’s a lightness to Eddie that Buck is unsure he’s ever experienced before. Like a flower with the right care, Eddie blooms under the brightness of countless adoring fans and someone as open and friendly as Priscilla.

“Well if that’s the case, should I be getting off your stage?”

Eddie goes so far as to start unplugging his guitar, to the chagrin of countless concert goers.There’s somehow even more yelling than before and this time it has nothing to do with Priscilla.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cowboy. I’d have a riot on my hands if I let you walk off this stage right now.” She takes a moment to take in the crowd before turning her attention to the side of the stage that Chris and Buck are hiding in. Buck is almost certain that she winks in their direction. “I’m actually here because I have a favor to ask you.”

Even though Eddie has been rolling with the punches up until now, Buck can tell this unexpected request throws Eddie off. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“I was wondering if I could sing a song with you.”

Buck’s in a packed stadium where everything is at full volume, including the crowd, but not even that can drown out the sound of Buck’s pounding heart in his ears. This is it - the beginning of the end.

And, hopefully, the start of something new.

As if sensing his spiraling thoughts, Chris squeezes Buck’s hand again.

On stage, Eddie purses his lips and puts a finger to his chin. “I think that can be arranged. What did you have in mind?”

Priscilla covers both her mic and Eddie’s when she leans forward to whisper the song in his ear. If Eddie’s surprised by what she says, he hides it well.

“Think you can handle that, Cowboy?”

Eddie repositions his fingers on his guitar, cocky smile in place. “I think I can. I just hope you can keep up, P.”

Buck experiences an unnerving sense of déjà vu as Eddie strums the first few chords of the song. It’s almost as if he’s at home watching the video Priscilla again.

“I could hardly believe it when I heard the news today. I had to come and get it straight from you.”

Priscilla and Eddie harmonize the lyrics as if they’ve sung them a hundred times together before. Where he goes low, she goes high. Buck would be captivated if not for what he knows is going to happen next.

“Alright, Mr. Buckley,” a stagehand says, appearing seemingly out of nowhere with earbuds in hand. He was told ahead of time that he would be wearing them so he could hear better once he’s out on stage. “It’s time.”

“They said you were leavin', someone's swept your heart away. From the look upon your face, I see it's true.”

The stagehand gently pushes Buck forward and with that, Buck finds himself stepping out of the shadows. Like a sailor being pulled to the shore, he walks towards the siren that’s going to change his life, for better or for worse.

“So tell me all about it, tell me ‘bout the plans you’re makin’. Oh, then tell me one thing more before I go.”

The lights on the stage fade and a spotlight lands on Buck as he walks onto the stage. Priscilla jumps off the stool and it’s only then that Eddie turns in Buck’s direction.

Time stops when their eyes meet.

Eddie has never been an overly emotive person. A lifetime of being told to ‘man up’ and to ‘take things like a man’ stole that ability out from under him. And yet, there is no denying the tears that well in Eddie’s eyes as he takes Buck in.

Buck has waited for what feels like forever to be looked at like this. To be seen.

And to be seen like this by Eddie? Buck is sure there’s no greater feeling in the world.

“Tell me, how am I supposed to live without you?” Eddie sings directly at Buck as he walks towards him too. They meet somewhere in the middle, just like they’ve been doing for the past three years. It’s a magnetic pull that Buck is tired of fighting. “Now that I’ve been loving you so long.”

Eddie is close, so close, now.

Somehow it’s still not close enough.

“And how can I blame you when I built my world around the hope that one day, we'd be so much more than friends?”

It’s a lyric and a confession all rolled into one, the perfect encapsulation of how Buck has felt for too long. And, if the way Eddie’s voice cracks on the last word is any indication, it’s how he’s felt too.

“How am I supposed to live without you and how am I supposed to carry on? When all that I’ve been livin’ for is gone.”

Buck barely registers the flashing lights and hysterical screaming that is amplified by the song ending. He is too busy looking into the eyes of the man he loves.

Unlike Michael Bolton, Buck had to learn how to spend these past few months living without Eddie. Now that he has, he knows for certain that he never wants to do it again.

“You sang a song for me.”

Eddie laughs before resting his forehead against Buck’s “You weren’t answering my calls.”

“Michael Bolton though? Feels a little dramatic.” Buck is aiming for nonchalance but is unsure how much of a success that is. It’s hard to tell when it feels like his heart’s going to beat right out of his chest and take its rightful place alongside Eddie’s.

“It got you here, didn’t it?”

“You got me there.”

Buck doesn’t know what happens after this. There are conversations to be had, logistics to figure out, a young child to take into consideration and so much more.

But those are all things to worry about later.

For now, Buck is content to bask in the glory of this moment, this revelation, with Eddie.

[laughteristhebestmedivine]

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

It generally takes about an Hour, to an Hour and a Half to get to Atlanta, from Atlanta.

There is no real Rapid-Transit or Mass-Transit system in Atlanta. There’s something called MARTA (Metro Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority) that doesn’t cover all of Metro Atlanta, and that’s neither “Rapid” nor “Mass”. It’s more of an “Afterthought-last-chance-of-getting-someplace-Transit”

Carpooling rarely happens.

Atlantans love their cars as much as their privacy. There are High Occupancy Vehicle lanes that had to be converted to toll lanes because there weren’t enough 2 or more passenger cars to make it worthwhile.

People have been ticketed for having blow up toys in the passenger seat and dolls in car seats just to try and fake carpooling.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." except for Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken" (Including GPS directions).

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:

Peachtree Circle

Peachtree Place

Peachtree Lane

Peachtree Road

Peachtree Parkway

Peachtree Run

Peachtree Terrace

Peachtree Avenue

Peachtree Commons

Peachtree Battle

Peachtree Corners

New Peachtree

Old Peachtree

West Peachtree

Peachtree-Dunwoody

Peachtree-Chamblee

Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Or any of the 30+ additional streets that have Peachtree in their names.

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down

Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink here so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.

EXCEPT Atlantans never say “Co-ca Co-la”, nor “At-lan-ta”.

You drink a “Cocola in Atlanna “

The gates at Atlanta 's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.

The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm.

All remaining hours are the lunch rush hour.

Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m. Saturday.

Red Lights and Stop Signs in Atlanta aren't treated as LAW. They're more like suggestions.

If the Light has been red for a while, you probably should stop, but if it's only about to turn red, speed up - You Can Make It!

And a STOP sign is treated as a "Slow-down-just-enough-to-make-sure-there's-not-a-cop" Sign.

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."

And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, has a posted speed limit of 55-65 mph but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over and is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

And 285 has wonderful directional signs that advise towns like “Augusta, Greenville, Chattanooga, Birmingham, Montgomery, and Macon” depending which part of the Circle of Hell you are trying to enter. BUT, 285 does NOT take you to any of those cities. It merely points you in a general direction that might lead you there eventually on other highways.

Hell, 285 won’t even take you to Atlanta. Just ask Pascual Perez.

Don't believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop ." If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy, and your AR-15 has a full magazine.

Possums and armadillos are flat animals that sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.

If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu.

It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store) - also can be pronounced "Fixinta".

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

Source: Facebook

[normaltothemax]

"I care." ( for jake, get CARED FOR IDIOT /affectionate)

Why’m I fuckin’ botherin’? You don’t fuckin’ care.

I care.

Deep down, Jake already knew that. Has known it for quite a while, now. Hell, he sees it often enough. In the way Constantine will share a silent beer with Marc after a particularly rough mission. In how he and Steven will go on and on about literature, or whatever the hell they geek out over together. In the gentleness of his hands as he patches Jake up while verbally tearing him a new one.

In the way he treats the three of them as separate people with their own skills and interests and never once questioned the validity of their personhoods.

John cares, and Jake has never known what to do with that. It’s hard enough, dealing with Marc and Steven caring. With Layla and Frenchie giving two shits about whether they live or die. Constantine doing it, fucking admitting it, out loud, is baffling.

Jake must be looking real fucking rough.

In fairness to him, he lost another kid tonight, and it was his own fucking fault. Marc had been chasing some dicks using the kid as a hostage, had followed them into the sewers and, surprise surprise, had lost his shit. Couldn’t handle something so reminiscent of those damn caves and he’d panicked. Steven had been co-con, right there up at the front with him, and had been worried enough about him that he’d followed him back into their headspace, leaving Jake to pick up the slack.

Only he’d been back in their headspace when all that was happening, hadn’t known what was going on. Had been too sluggish and confused when he fronted. Too slow on the uptake. Hadn’t realized what was happening until it was far too late.

He’d made short work of those assholes afterwards, left them face-down in sewage and disappeared. Puffed up like a pissy cat when John somehow managed to find him a bit later, angry and defensive, but those two words cut his strings and he deflates in an instant. He actually feels a little bad for snapping at him, now.

Still covered in sludge and blood (some of it from a far too small body), he sits up on the edge of some rooftop, looking out over the city with a thousand yard stare. Looking, but not really seeing. “Y’ shouldn’t. I’ll just get ya killed, one’a these days.”

It’s...cuál es la palabra...inevitable.

@talentforlying (x)

[liminaltrainstation]

Pasadena & Youth

Driving down a highway in Los Angeles, somewhere on that ride possibly into Pasadena we see a neighborhood that reminds me of my own teenage self. Suburban nostalgia is so powerful, medium-houses planted beside each other like rocks while the paths in-between with the robot looking garbage bins parked to the side, are small reprieves for teenagers and fathers. I stare at this neighborhood in Pasadena and am caught off guard by the feeling in my heart, of fluttering, for another life? For an American life? An American teenager in a button down shirt with converse shoes riding my bike at twilight, beers in my satchel and starry eyed at the thought of young love. 

I remember that one party in Edgemont, stumbling home at 15 at 4 am in a world full of possibility. It was hot and maybe for the first time in a long time I think I felt ‘I had too much clothes on’. Shedding away the brooding angst of a terrible gender confused puberty, the party had given me a sense of confidence that made no sense. Perhaps it was just the rush of having teenage conversations with groups of people I had never really met. Perhaps the youthful hopefullness of being seen by others. When I ran back home that night, I felt a sense of euphoria that I couldn’t quite place. I knew innately I wasn’t in trouble and my mom never woke up to find that I had snuck out. I remember coming to the backyard and lying on that chair. Or did I sit? I remember looking up at the sun that was slowly rising and thinking the future was boundless. That Edgemont backyard, those rolling Edgemont hills full of secrets, full of rabbits, full of suburban fuel. Back then - moments in time lasted so long, the high from it. That one silly party kept me going all summer, with a sense of optimism and hope that I can only amount to the first feelings of real confidence entering my strange awkward teenage body. 

Back to being American though - I have this strange feeling that I would be a free’er person if an American. I can’t place why, I Imagine myself with my head out of the car rooftop with my hair whipping in the wind. I reach down to my suburban teenage American boyfriend and touch his chin with the maturity and self-absurdness of a woman years and years older. Girl magic, woman magic - AMERICAN POP MAGIC, it courses through my red hot veins and I am able to do anything I want. I yell into the night sky of AM!ER!IC!A and climb back down into the car seat to drink my orange soda. 

What is this feeling when I am in LA? These memories and thoughts of other lives and bodies. They seem so powerful. Perhaps that is the stuff of pop culture quite literally in the air, infusing into visitors in an instant. I stare at the Mexican men stealing the light of the neighborhood where ‘Andres’, the man who is lending us our camera equipment lives. I feel their life too, somewhere, in another time, I am helping them steal the light of Los Angeles and making it mine.

[dungeonsandblorbos]

Campaign Intros: The Orphic Uprising

the Orphic Uprising is another short and sweet campaign from my college years. another 10 session wonder, this time using the Cypher system! it's set in the same universe as the Percy Jackson stories, post-canon, and was my first time playing a campaign with my then boyfriend (now husband!)

my notes are . . . still not the best but they are definitely getting better and more useful to someone who is not currently embroiled in the story! less emphasis on the funny out of context quotes, more on actual notetaking--which is to say, a whole bunch of notes are still just funny quotes, they just make up a lower proportion of my notes overall

so story times from the Orphic Uprising will be actual full stories with real context! yay!

~anyway~

the setting

the Percy Jackson universe, post-canon! that's it. nothing fancy.

if you're not familiar, the basic conceit of the world is that the ancient Greek gods are real, actually (as are most/all other pantheons--yes it does get very confusing), and still having demi-god kids with mortals. otherwise it's just like the real world! there's a camp in New York, USA, called Camp Half-Blood, which is a safe haven for demi-god youth, who are often targeted by monsters. the gate to the Underworld is in LA, the minotaur's labyrinth is under the streets of NYC, you get it

the party

Nina "Larry" Grayson: my PC! you know her, you met her here. a Chinese-American daughter of Nike, goddess of Victory and companion of Athena. headstrong himbo who isn't afraid to fight dirty in order to win. kind of a loner until Beatrice and Chuck show up in her life and forcibly befriend her. eats impossible for breakfast

Chuck Hickey: my husband's PC! an Italian-American son of Dionysus, god of wine and revelry. raised by his Italian grandparents on their vineyard in Napa Valley, California (wine country). funny and not very responsible, but good people nonetheless. wields a thyrsus, which is a fancy word for a staff with a pinecone on top of it. has some magical powers, which enable him to, among other things, light pinecones on fire and put enemies in a trance by singing meme songs at them. yes, he did rickroll a chimera once. throughout this campaign and its sequel, he collects an ever-growing list of epithets; highlights include He Who Barks at Skeletons, He Who Drives the Sun, and Death Itself

Beatrice Starveling: an African-American daughter of Apollo, god of the sun and music and poetry and so many other things it's ridiculous. raised by her two gay dads who are very worried about her. a gifted musical theatre kid. creative and kind but also very tired, at least in part because she's lowkey the smart one of the party. wields a magic lyre given to her by Hermes, and also the Sun Chariot. she also has some magic powers, which allow her to, among other things, empower her friends to hit harder and put enemies in a trance by reciting Shakespeare at them. yes, she did use the "alas, poor Yorick" monologue for this at least once. she also pulled an Orpheus but actually succeeded, saving her dear friend Oliver from the Underworld with music from Hadestown

Ryder: a white British son of Aphrodite and a bit of a gary stu if i'm being honest; his player also had a lot of hangups about a lot of random things. supposedly a model whose dad "looks like Hugh Jackman." wealthy. an archer. a killthief

important NPCs

Oliver: Beatrice's sweet blond best friend. a son of Hermes. he was in the Underworld for most of this campaign, actually, after getting killed by some skeletons in our second session. oof

Hops: a grain demon Chuck found in a hotel dumpster and then immediately adopted. he looks like an ugly baby made of dirt and roots, and is about a foot tall. he's our mascot and we love him. Nina gave him her swiss army knife so he can open his own beers and Chuck sometimes carries him around in a papoose. other times, Chuck throws him like a football at an enemy and with their combined powers, they make Hops's roots grow really long and wrap around the enemy like a cage

~various gods and goddesses and PJO characters~

the plot . . . hook

after an exciting game of capture the flag, Camp Half-Blood is attacked by a small army of skeletons. during the fight, Oliver is killed. as the battle is dying down, camp oracle Rachel Dare wanders over and delivers a prophecy:

Children of Night and lords of the deep Conspire together in the midnight keep When the twice born God is lured and bound beneath The impossible is tasked to daughter of the laurel wreath The islander shall face the Cypran boar And the beauty's blood shall open the door The forgotten son of Spring shall be returned And through faith and song can life be earned

it is quickly determined that the prophecy refers to Dionysus, who has recently gone missing. and so a questing party is assembled: Nina, daughter of the laurel wreath, and Ryder, beauty's blood, are obvious choices and fast to volunteer. Beatrice, hyperfocusing on the last line, also volunteers, hopeful she'll be able to bring Oliver back from the dead. Chuck, having been informed that his mom is also missing and trapped in the Underworld alongside his father, also volunteers

Apollo stops by to give Beatrice the keys to an old model of the Sun Chariot, and with that, the party is off on their way to California and the Underworld!

(the whole arc of this campaign is a lot of fun but these posts are long enough as is, so instead y'all will have to wait for story times to learn more about what happens!)

[quietmyfearswith]

was your favorite ; bucky barnes x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count — 4,152 words

summary — in which bucky barnes still lives with his ex-girlfriend following their break up.

warnings —fluff?? angst?? ex to lovers, sexual innuendo (just one) cursing i think, sad!insecure!bucky

pairing — bucky barnes x fem!reader

a/n — it too has been long since i got to write for bucky???? anyway i’d love to hear feedback :D also if you choose to follow me please have your age/age range stated in your bio.. 

tagging —​ @la-cey​ @pedropcl​  @slutforcevans @iloveshawnieboi

masterlist | series masterlist | join my taglist (please follow the rules)

Buck! Have you seen where my cardigan is?” Y/N was bent down over the dryer as she was ruffling through the pile of clothes she placed on the machine to dry but was too lazy to get it out and fold them. The super soldier being addressed to lifted his head from reading the newspaper to cast a worried glance on the woman, “I don’t know; I just did my laundry and I don’t think any of your clothes got mixed up with mine.”

With a huff she got up from her kneeling position, making her hit her head into the top of the machine, then walked away from their laundry room, groaning and rubbing the part of her head that hit the machine; joining his presence in the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water she pouted as she  thought of where her sweater was. “Why are you looking for the cardigan anyway? And which one is it?”

Biting her bottom lip, she avoided eye contact with his blue eyes as she stammered out, “You know, it was the one you gave me.” Placing the paper down on the breakfast bar, he leaned closer and pouted at her, “I’m hurt, doll; I knew we broke up but I never thought you were petty enough to throw away my gifts.”

Squinting her eyes at him with a mocking pout, “Ha ha, you know it’s that I don’t treasure your gifts, Buck.” Feeling left out from the whole conversation, Alpine jumped up on the countertops and snuggled herself to Y/N’s stomach; letting her fingers scratch the white fur of the needy cat, “Al, can you go tell your dad how exaggerated he’s being?”

Scoffing, he snatched Alpine from his ex girlfriend's arms and covered his cat’s whole face with his metal hand as if shielding her from evil, “Don’t you dare play favorites! Not with my child who was mine first before she was yours.”

“Let’s be honest Buck, she always cuddles up to my side every time we watch a movie,” Y/N jabbed at him before moving to get her bag, slinging it on her shoulder. Bucky’s blue eyes followed her form from when she picked up her purse in the living room and was about to speak until the sound of someone knocking on their door cut them both off. “I’ll get it,” She placed a hand on his pec and tapped it, “I was leaving anyway.”

The super soldier was thankful that she quickly removed her palm from his chest so she wouldn’t hear how fast his chest was beating; despite having broken up a few months ago, he still gets flustered under her touch. “Hey Steve, how are you?” The Captain hugged her as he entered their apartment, “I’m good; you going somewhere?”

Nodding, she moved out of their apartment and waved the two super soldiers goodbye, “I am! Meeting up with some friends today; bye you two!” When she left the flat, Steve smirked at Bucky, “I got to say two more months of you two living together or not getting back together and I’m gonna lose this bet I have with Sam.”

Expertly, Steve dodged the crumpled up facial tissue Bucky threw at him as he scowled, “Why are you here anyway, punk?” Alpine jumped off Bucky’s arms and settled herself on her bed by the television as Bucky began cleaning up his mug and bowl. “Well jerk, I wanted to come over and talk about the mission.”

After placing all the utensils in the sink, Bucky looked at his best friend with a scowl, “What mission? We both don’t go anymore and just train the recruits.” Loving how riled up his best friend was being, the former captain chuckled loudly as he held his hands up since he got caught, “Okay you caught me. I was just bored at the compound and wanted to swing by.”

A soapy hand pointed to the door as the brunette said, “Well you swung by and said hi; now leave.” Planting his bum firm on one of the bar stools instead of leaving, Steve shot a serious glance on his best friend, “I will after I get the truth out of you.”

Childishly, the metal hand sprayed some water on the blonde who yelled out in surprise upon feeling his face dampen with water, “Real mature, Buck!”

“Says the guy who visited my home because he was bored and decided to play investigator on me!”

Laughing at his friend’s antics and frustrated tone, Steve sighed, “Come on, pal, be honest with yourself this time; why is it you and Y/N still live together even after breaking up?” After moving to place the set of cutleries to dry, Bucky was wiping his flesh hand with a towel as he looked at his friend with furrowed eyebrows. When he was met however with a mixture of worry and stern glance, the former Winter Soldier sighed as he relaxed his brows and he planted his palms on the granite top, “Well it’s beneficial for the both of us.”

“How is it beneficial? You guys are ex with benefits?”

“Idiot! Not like that,” Bucky quickly clarified, “Economically benefit, with inflation and capitalism increasing the cost of living, it helps us save big on rent.” Steve had his mouth hung agape in disbelief at the bullshit his best friend was selling on him. “Economically benefit? You both can afford a high luxury penthouse with both your salaries alone,” His arms opened wide as he referred to their current flat, “And you chose to live in this compact two bedroom apartment following your breakup? You’re not fooling me, pal.”

After grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge and handing one to Steve after he opened both, Bucky gulped down the grainy beverage he sighed out loud as he confessed, “Maybe part of me hopes we both can get back together,” He had to shoot Steve a look when the blonde squealed excitedly at his confession, “But we both just somewhat talked about how much of a hassle it is if we both moved out and during that time we just signed a new lease so it made sense at the time.”

“I didn’t need to learn the last part, you could have just said you wished to get back together and that would have made me happy,” Steve explained before drinking down almost half of the bottle. Rolling his eyes, Bucky walked to the living room and settled himself on the couch — Alpine too followed him and settled herself on his lap, her distinct way of seeking attention — as he stroked her fur and replied, “Well good thing I didn’t really ask for what you wanted, no? Hold on, what are you really here for, by the way?”

Taking the loveseat that was adjacent from where Bucky was sitting, Steve plopped down as he grabbed the remote off their coffee table and turned the television on, “Did you forget that I was coming over to watch the game?”

“And you couldn’t watch it on your own at your living quarter which is bigger and even has the latest television model?”

Steve threw his head back in laughter at his friend’s remark, “Well I could; but the thing is if I didn’t you would probably be grinching your life away,” He tipped his bottle to Alpine who was sprawled over his lap as his metal fingers were delicately scratching her belly, “By the looks of it, you’ve already achieved step one of being a grinch.”

His flesh hand grabbed for one of the throw pillows that Y/N bought first when they moved into this apartment and successfully struck his friend’s head, “Apologize to Alpine this instant!”

A scoff plus an offended look was Steve’s reaction before turning his head back to the game, “Dick! You knew I was kidding! Is this how you are with Y/N, hm? No wonder she broke up with you.”

It was a sensitive topic that Bucky never fully disclosed with any of the friends; somehow he felt that what happened between the two of them should stay with them. And there were many instances where Bucky wanted to tell someone what happened just so he knew how to reconcile with her — but somehow there was always a reason that prevented him from doing so.

“Punk, how would you go about asking your ex to get back together?” His question had the former Captain America smiling; even though his entire face was focused on the game on the screen, the pending conversation had his attention far more than the actual sport. “Well I don’t know, it would depend on how I broke up with that ex.”

Bucky knew what he was doing — he was fishing for more information regarding how things went down. And maybe he does actually have a suggestion. Without going into much detail, he answered, “The breakup seemed mutual and beneficial at first but as time went on it seems to not be the case anymore.”

“What kind of riddle is that, Shakespeare?!”

Somewhat pleased with his confused state, he chuckled, “That’s all the details you’re going to get about my breakup with Y/N,” Part of Bucky was offended with how his Steve let out a disappointed grunt but continued on, “Right now, what’s more important is I get back with her.”

It had been almost an hour and yet the only sounds that could be heard were the announcers detailing the game and the cheers coming from the stadium as the two centenarians thought about how to go about Bucky’s current dilemma. Until Steve broke the silence as he placed his empty beer bottle by the leg of the coffee table, “Why not just be honest and tell her you want to get back with her?”

“It’s not that easy,” Came his quick response; too quick, Steve suspected. Turning slightly to face him, he saw how Alpine now had Bucky’s attention as he baited his metal finger to the feline who was trying her best to bite on it, “It won’t be that easy, at least I think it won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I messed up,” He confessed quietly as he pursed his lips as he recalled how that night went.

“Bubba, did you happen to get the chocolate I asked to buy?” She asked after ruffling through all their cabinets twice, pouting as she failed to see the sweet she has been craving for. He was cleaning the litter box that was in their bathroom so his voice was faint but she heard it loud and clear, “I forgot to, bub; sorry ‘bout that!”

With a sigh, she closed the cabinet door and instead grabbed a glass of water before walking to the dining table, “It’s okay! I’ll just get some tomorrow or some other time.”

As he was washing his hands, he caught a faint glance of her disappointed frown on the mirror. For a few moments, he racked his brain for the other times wherein he saw her frown due to something he’s done. There were far too many instances that came into mind; Bucky didn’t like that at all.

Despite just drying off his hands with a hand towel, he could feel his flesh hand dampen with sweat as he approached her on the dining table and sit at the chair opposite from where she was — something that she noticed, tearing her eyes away from her laptop, making her feel that something was wrong, “You okay, Buck?”

“I think we need to break up,” Came his immediate answer as he stared at her eyes that showed sadness and grief. “What?” Was all that she could choke out as she pushed her laptop to the side so she could direct his attention to him fully.

“I think we need to break up,” He repeated, his voice sounded stronger and more determined than when he said it earlier; but it was just a front for his insecurities and doubts, “It’s something that we both saw coming, but we’re in denial of its approach.”

Tears were now freely falling out of her eyes as she struggled to get out a coherent response, “But Bucky, we can work it out. What is it? Where did I go wrong?” She was to add some more questions but she was stopped by her hiccups.

Both hands grasped hers and rubbed her knuckles soothingly to calm her down, “I’m sorry Y/N, but this is just for the best for the both of us. It’s better we part our ways now rather than later when my ivy has fully engulfed your brick walls that you have put up.”

Snatching her hands from his hold, she crossed her arms, “Don’t feed me that bullshit, Buck. tell me the real reason why you want us to split.” Gone was her earlier tone of sorrow and was now replaced with shaky strength.

When he just looked at her blankly silently, Y/N just bit her lip as she grabbed for her laptop as she scrolled for a certain email; and when she found it, she showed the screen to her now ex boyfriend, “Guess it was a wrong time to sign for a year-long lease huh?”

“We can still live together for the time being,” His immediate answer surprised the two of them and he decided to cover it up by explaining, “We don’t want to pay an additional fee for infringing the contract. Plus that saves us a whole lot of money for when we move out of here.”

Her mind was foggy with sadness which prevented her from thinking logically so she found herself nodding, “Okay, that makes sense.” She took her laptop from his look and began to search for a new bed frame and mattress. “I’ll move to the spare bedroom and get my things later on.”

Following her drying of tears, she now had a determined pout on her face as she began to scout new items for her bedroom, Bucky came to realize the weight of what he had just done. At the expense of her broken and devastated state, he spared his insecurities and doubts. But he didn’t feel even an ounce of relief, instead he just felt miserable seeing her become so detached from him; it’s your fault, you idiot, he scolded himself.

“Oh, okay. I’m just gonna lay down for a while,” She merely nodded when he stood from the his seat and grabbed Alpine that was on his playing with his toes; as he laid his back on the soft mattress were they both spent time and created some of their best memories, he couldn’t help cuddle the feline closer to him as he now looked back on those memories wistfully, “Looks like you’re gonna be my cuddle buddy from now on, Al.”

“Idiot!” Steve yelled after hearing the story and throwing the pillow back to Bucky with the cushion that was thrown to him earlier, “Let’s unpack what you did wrong here; one, you broke up with her because of your insecurities instead of working on it yourself or with her.”

Bucky had a deep scowl on his face and was about to rebut until Steve held a hand up to let him know he was not yet done listing things, “Two, you didn’t even really give her the option on whether she wanted to break up or what. And lastly, you decided to still live together despite splitting under the guise of not paying more due to infringing the lease and moving out, but you guys have two months left before you have to renew or end your contract! What the hell’s your plan after?”

When Steve said it like that, it did look even worse than it initially was. The former assassin could only groan out loud as he removed his hands from stroking Al’s whie fur and instead covered his face in shame, “I know! I was dumb, and still am! I just want Y/N back, okay?”

Steve silently chuckled as he took in his friend’s whine and Y/N’s stunned look as she had just arrived from going out. Noticing the lack of white fur ball on his lap, he removed his hands from shielding his face as he looked at Steve, and was puzzled when the blonde was smirking but did not have the cat.

“Where?” The question died on his throat as he heard her soft mewl and looked to his right to see Y/N cuddling Alpine in her arms, “Hi, I just got home.” The blank expression she had made it difficult for the two super soldiers to read her; Steve however knew that the two needed privacy in order to talk.

“Well I’m heading out,” The former Captain America stood up and patted his best friend’s shoulder as a way of saying goodbye and good luck, “See you both soon.” He kissed Y/N’s forehead goodbye and left the former lovers.”

“Do you want to talk about what I just heard you say or do you want me to forget about it, Buck?”

Being with her for nearly three years he knew that once her interest was piqued, it would be difficult for her to lose her interest in it as she would do anything to feed her curiosity. “What would you rather do?”

This was new, for the previous times they had confrontation he had decided for her; and to be able to choose for herself — and possibly for the both of them. “I’d like to talk about it; if it’s fine with you of course.”  

He gestured for her to take the seat beside her — which she gladly took after placing her bag on the dining table and carrying Alpine with her. “I heard you saying you wanted me back — is there any truth to that?”

“Yes, there is,” He sounded a mixture of confident and desperate; but he didn’t care as he just wanted her back, “I want you back and it was a mistake on my part to let you go.”

“But why did you let me go?”

“Because I was an insecure, self-doubting coward. Do you remember the day when I broke up with you?” She nodded her head as she scoffed, “Obviously, I do.” Her sass had him chuckling, lightening up the mood a little. “Well that day, I saw the look of disappointment on your face when I failed to get you chocolate. I thought that if I can mess this small thing up, what more when it comes to more important things — like an anniversary, a mortgage payment, important events, and things like that.”

Her hands reached out for his and gently kissed the knuckles to calm him down as he was now breathing heavily as he continued to open up to her, “I always knew deep down in me that you deserved to be with someone as great as you; and believe me everyday I tried to be that person. But slowly I saw not only how I wasn’t living up to be the person you deserve, but somehow I just wasn’t making you happy any more.”

Despite letting out what he had been bottling up, Bucky felt both heavier and lighter; lighter because now he had told her the real reason as to why they fell out and what has been haunting his mind for months now. But the fact that she now had a say on what goes on between them made him even more anxious compared to how he would be when going on dangerous missions.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through this battle alone, bubba,” Her statement coupled with her use of their pet name for each other had his heart twisting in a good way, “I wished you had reached out to me so that we both could work through this.”

“You’re not mad? Or disappointed? Or disgusted with me?”

She shook her head as she once again placed a loving kiss on his knuckles, “Why would I do so? You were dealing with anxieties and doubts, I can’t exactly blame you for those can I?” He shrugged his shoulders as he avoided looking her in the eyes, “But still,” Came his weak reply.

Clicking her tongue, she wrapped her arms around him, bringing his head to her chest so she could cuddle and comfort him as they were somewhat laying down on the couch, “Next time you got something going in your head, you talk to me, okay?”

He nodded against her chest and he couldn’t hold back the soft whine of happiness when she kissed his forehead, “I meant what I said, that I want you back.”

“Are you sure that’s what you really want?” She stiffened against his hold; Bucky stood up from where laid comfortably and took her with him, looking her straight in the eye with passion, “It is, bubba. I swear.”

“I don’t know, Buck,” She replied weakly and avoided looking him in the eye, “Maybe this is just your way of easing your guilt and making amends with your past talking. You don’t have to lie, not to me.”

“It’s not, I promise,” He placed his hands on her waist, grabbing her to situate her on his lap, “I love you and I never stopped, nor will I ever. You are someone I can never get sick of — I will always want to be with you, no matter if we do something fun and exciting or something mundane and domestic. I want all of you and want to share my life with you.”

“But what happens when you get those thoughts again? Will you leave me hanging again?”

Hating how small and meek her voice was, he shook his head as he kissed the tip of her nose, “I won’t. Like you said, I’ll work on it alone and with you. I love you, bubba.” She could see no sign of lies or deceit in his eyes and loved what she was hearing — he was a man of his word and knew that he wouldn’t boldly claim such a thing if he had no plans of following through with it.

“I can give you time to think about it if you’d like,” The proposition left his tongue as she suddenly kissed his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him even more closer. He smiled into the kiss as he rubbed her back soothingly, missing the heat that radiated off her skin.

“No time needed to think about it, bub,” She breathed out after pulling away from the kiss, her lips still against his, “I want you back too.”

“I hope you’d still want me back even after my final confession.”

She pulled away from him completely so she could take in his nervous smirk, “What final confession?”

Scratching the back of his neck nervously, he disclosed, “I took the cardigan from the dryer.” She laughed at his silly confession before asking, “Why’d you do it, bubba? It smelt like you and I dressed it up on one of my pillows because I missed you.”

Slapping her hand to his pec, she pretended to be upset before laying her head on his chest, “Well I hope it made your lonely nights better! I had an important reason to wear that today.”

“Oh? And what could that be, missy?” He tickled her sides to get her to speak; after a fit full of laughters she did, “Well I was going out with Rachel and she decided to bring along her friend in hopes of setting me up with them.” By wearing the cardigan, Y/N knew that the person Rachel invited over would be less persistent to pursue since the words “James Buchanan Barnes’ property” were sewn on a patch on the clothing article — a gift Bucky gave her when they passed the one year mark of their relationship.

“So you were cheating on me!” He jokingly accused her to which she pinched his ears as she reminded him, “Excuse you! I was being set up with someone before we got back together — it’s not cheating you know!”

He too laughed at their whole debacle before he stroked her cheek with the flesh hand saying, “I missed you so much, bubba.”  She was about to share the same sentiments before they got interrupted by a needy cat who placed herself in between Bucky and Y/N.

“I think Al missed being in the middle of our cuddle sessions too, bubba,” She noted as the cat purred when she and Bucky were scratching the space in between her ears.

With a large grin on his face, he tickled Alpine as he kissed Y/N fervently on the lips, “Look Al, we’re one, happy, and complete family again.”

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

TOSHIYA AT JOE YOKOMIZO CHANNEL 4th FEB TRANSLATION/NOTES 2/4

Joe Yokomizo Channel

 Guest: Toshiya (Dir en grey)

Notes before reading: This is the translation/notes of the livestream on Joe’s Niconico channel with Toshiya as a guest last 4th February.  This is part 2. Originally, I planned to do it in two parts, but as I’m barely summarizing (I’m sorry?), it’s longer than expected, so there will be a part 3 ( maybe a 4?).  The livestream was one hour and fifty min approx. This part covers from min 47 approx., to 1h 12m.

You can watch this at Joe Yokomizo’s channel on Niconico.

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS are appreciated ----- (First part here) Joe: From now on, this is the members-only contents….*everyone claps* So, let’s drink… Toshiya: That’s it. Joe and Toshiya open their cans of Sapporo beer. They toast together. Toshiya: Let’s toast… Joe: Cheers! I’m really thirsty…. Toshiya: Itadakimasu…. They take a gulp of their beer. Joe: You said before that on stage you don’t feel nervous at all but at this kind of talks, you get nervous… Toshiya: I’m not good at this… Joe: You are not good at this? Toshiya: That’s it Joe: is it ok if you drink alcohol? Toshiya: isn’t that a problem? *laughs* Joe: It is… Alcohol makes people’s heart/spirit free….*Toshiya laughs* Ah,  “take off the sunglasses”, is that ok for you? Toshiya: Eh well, instead… I’m going to take my jacket off.. Joe: Oh, I see…..*Toshiya removes his jacket* Ohhhhh! Ohhhh!....there many comments calling you….like “kyaaaaa”…..have you ever made a mistake/screw up because of drinking? Toshiya: I did *laughs* Joe: You did… Toshiya: Yes… Joe: Can you say….? Toshiya: No….the truth is…..I can’t say…. Joe: You can’t tell us….you can’t tell what you did…. Toshiya: I can’t Joe: is that so? Toshiya: Yes, alcohol is  scary/dreadful… Joe: It is… this year I’m like trying to not getting carried away with alcohol….that’s my resolution for this year…. Toshiya: But well….but I never have been blackout (drunk)…. Joe: Ah, you always remember what you did…. Toshiya: I do remember… Joe: Like if you did something awful….*Toshiya nods* “Please make him drink until he tell us”….”talk about Die”…do you have any story about this with Die?.... Toshiya: Die….mmmm…I have many memories of drinking with him…. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: Yes Joe: Like drinking after a live….after recording… Toshiya: Well, yes, after a rehearsal or so… Joe: what kind of things do you talk about with Die when you drink? Toshiya: Mostly about silly things…. Joe: Ah,  but that’s fun, right? Toshiya: That’s right… Joe: Ah, “summer memories”…..”trespassing”*….stories like that… I think that there are many stories like those mentioned at the comments… *This is a reference to the story they talked about at the livestream of May. Toshiya: That’s it…..no good… Joe: Everyone is like that….”A different story”…. A different awful story like that….”Bowling”…..what’s that about?......Bowling? Toshiya: Ah, drinking at the bowling alley….You can drink at the bowling alley, right?.... Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: Yes Joe: While you are bowling, you drink….*Toshiya nods*…. Toshiya:  That is….dangerous/risky…. Joe: At the alley? Toshiya: I threw it (the bowling ball) at the wrong lane…. Joe burst into laugh Joe: It came out (the story)!!! Toshiya: I did it at the wrong lane…. Joe: That’s awful…. Toshiya: It’s awful…. Joe: You were like….*does the gesture of throwing the ball* throwing it at the wrong lane…. Toshiya: I threw it at the lane of another person…. Joe: *laughs* That’s awful….that can cause an accident…. Toshiya: That’s true….time ago…..there is a certain senpai god-like guitarist…. Joe: I’m not going to ask who is… Toshiya: Yes….is there a type of Jack Daniels that is black?... Joe: There is…Jack Daniels…. Toshiya: We were bowling while drinking that….*Joe laughs* at the bowling alley…so somehow I didn’t know where I was throwing the bowling ball at…. They laugh Joe: Is that so? They are asking who is that guitarist….It’s a senpai… Toshiya: It’s a senpai….Die’s senpai…. Joe: Die’s senpai?.... Toshiya: It’s Die’s senpai… Joe: I wonder who is…people is writing at the comments….”Is it Sugizo?”….”C”….”S”? Toshiya: No,no… They both laugh Joe: “Joe, try to get this information” ….”A hint”…..a hint… Toshiya:  A hint?....*Joe nods*…. A hint….mmmm…that’s it….La vie en rose senpai*…. *La vie en rose is  D’ ERLANGER’s album. Die has mentioned several times D’ERLANGER guitarist Cipher, as his main influence and senpai. Joe: It’s La vie en rose’s senpai….ahhhh I see…. La vie en…..*laughs*…I have a guess….. Toshiya: Well….it’s…. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: He is an amazing senpai…. Joe: Yes Toshiya: I think that Die excused himself and left…. Joe: Is that so? But…. those are really good times….right? Toshiya: For real…I think I was able to be in band at a great timing….because I have wonderful senpai that I respect…those senpai….how could I say it?....when I got into this band….it’s like they (senpai) treat me with affection….I feel like you can talk to them like this, so after all I asked them a lot of questions. It was that kind of time. I wanted to ask a lot of things to them so my senpai would answer….yes, that’s what my senpai would do….like “ I made a mistake with this” “don’t make that kind of mistake”…things like that. Joe:That’s important, right? Toshiya: It’s really important. So when it comes to the younger generation…..I wonder if this kind of thing is still possible (to be happening)…what a pity, right? Joe: It seems that bands from younger generations nowadays don’t even know the experience of drinking until early morning with their senpais. Toshiya: Well well……I don’t know if that it’s a good change or a bad one….*laughs* Joe: I don't know, I don't know, but there are things that can’t be helped right?.... Toshiya: There are. Joe: There are good and bad things… Toshiya: Yes yes….I think so … Joe: That’s why it’s amazing to play rock music in a band… Toshiya: After all, no matter how you think about it,  as they are people  who are experiencing something that they had never experienced before….that’s right….if I ask about something that I haven’t experienced ….like….”what did you do when you were in the same situation?”….”how about this?”….”What should I do?”…..Things like that…..it’s really interesting to hear from people who can taught you naturally…. Joe: Certainly… there are  many senpais that are just a little older that were terrible…. Toshiya: That’s true, right?....It’s strange…. Joe: Isn’t it weird? It's weird that those messed up when they were young…. Toshiya: It’s weird… Joe: But it’s not like we are going to lose in that aspect…. Toshiya: Well…..I….in that sense….I didn’t…. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: I didn’t go too far….*laughs* Joe: But that’s ok…leave it to me… Toshiya: You may drink, but don't let the drink take over…. Joe: But you only live once so why don’t you want to mess it up?

Toshiya: Of course, that’s right….I want to mess up….that’s why there are times that you cross the line… Joe: Yes, that’s it…that’s Toshiya from Dir en grey…I'm Joe Yokomizo, no matter how you think about it, isn’t it like the name of an enemy/rival? Toshiya: *Laughs* That’s…. Joe: Isn’t it? Isn’t it weird? This combination (of people)…. Joe starts point him and Toshiya, and compares their styles. Joe: Anyway, it looks like we are free….going forward….let’s go freely… Toshiya: Free, right? I want to… Joe: Let’s go freely….that’s what I think… Toshiya: That’s it… Joe: How are the rest of the members doing recently? Like, at the recordings or if you talk by phone… Toshiya: Well, I met them at the time of the recording… Joe: I met Kaoru quite often cause we are doing a youtube program *Toshiya nods* But how are the other members doing? Like please, an information report about them! Toshiya: They are alive… Joe: *laughs* Well, that’s good.... Toshiya: Yes, they are alive… Joe: I see….all of them are alive….how is the mysterious/enigmatic Shinya doing? Toshiya: He is alive… Joe: He is alive… Toshiya: Shinya is certainly mysterious but….all members are quite mysterious right? Joe: Who is….Who is the most mysterious? Toshiya: I think everyone… Joe: Everyone… Toshiya: Everyone in the band is a mysterious person… Joe: Ehhhhh…..for example….what’s Kyo's most strange side? Toshiya: Well…..what it would be?....his laughter is loud…. Joe: Ohhhh is that so? Toshiya: I would say that, he is loud when he laughs….well, he is the kind of person that has differences between his outside and inside… Joe:   Being loud when they laugh and control a conversation, (it’s normal) as he is from Kansai*…. * Kansai is the western region of the main Japanese island of Honshu. It included  famous cities like Osaka, Kobe, Kyoto and Nara.

Toshiya: It’s not because of that though…..how could I say it?....he likes comical stuff ….after all, all of them except me are from Kansai…. Joe: That’s right… Toshiya: The standards there (kansai) are tough…. Joe: Are they? Toshiya: They are… Joe: The laughter standards over there are really high…. Toshiya: That’s it… Joe: On the other hand, is Kyo an enthusiast of films and so? Toshiya: He is… Joe: Like,  He watches a lot….ehhhh…..so Kyo is strict about comical stuff….what about Die? What’s his mysterious/strange side? Toshiya: What would it be?  He is a blood type B person so, when he is interested/enthusiastic about something he goes for it, but when he is not interested he is like “ehhhh”*hand gesture of I pass* everyone is like that but, blood type B people*.... when they like something they go for it but if something distracts them from that, the interest goes away…. *In Japanese culture, it is believed that a person’s blood type is an essential indicator of their personality. Joe: What is your blood type? Toshiya: B. Joe: B…. Toshiya: Everyone is B except the band’s leader Kaoru who is blood type A…. Joe: I see…Ah, we talked about that in a live stream…my blood type is B too…that’s amazing…that there is only B type… Toshiya: He is surrounded by B type…. Joe: He is…. is Kaoru affected by that?.... Toshiya: I don’t know but….I think he looks more like B type… Joe: Kaoru?....Ahhh I can understand that… Toshiya: I think that you can feel it….like me being poisoned/infected by the Kansai dialect….. Joe: He is poisoned/infected by the B type…. Toshiya: A bit….it looks like it….but he is the type of  person that wants to know everything…. Joe: Kaoru? Toshiya: Yes, he is that kind of person…like…he wants to know anything related to Dir en grey… Joe: I see…well, he is the leader after all… Toshiya: Yes, I’m thankful for that… I am…. Joe: What about Shinya? The mysterious Shinya… Toshiya: Shinya? To put it simply…”self-conceit/self centered”… Joe:  That’s Shinya in a word… Toshiya: He has only-child vibes…. Joe: Ah, certainly…that’s it….Would you like to play a board game with him? Toshiya: Before this, at the end of last year, for the fanclub… Joe: Ah, you played you played, that’s true…. Toshiya: I played with Die and Shinya…it was interesting… Joe: It was? Next time, around spring, I asked Shinya to come and play a game… Toshiya: That’s good… Joe: Do you want to join us at that time? Toshiya: No,no…I won’t get involved…. Joe: If there aren’t any other members,  the conversation is going to be different… Toshiya: It’s going to be different….I think that it’s better that there aren’t any other members there, so he is going to talk  more… Joe: He is considerate with the others….I wonder if it is consideration…. Toshiya: I wonder…. Joe: “ I like Toshiya-Shinya duo”….they are writing that…. Toshiya: Ahh Joe: Do you guys go drinking together? Toshiya:  Go drinking…..more like eating together at work and so…and….when we are on a tour…. he and I were the only ones who usually go to lunch and so… Joe: I see…more like fortuitous (by chance) situations…. Toshiya: That’s it…. Joe: One of the things that makes Dir en grey interesting is no matter which members you combine, it feels strange…. Toshiya: That’s true….somehow…in a strange sense…..every speaks broken/imperfect Japanese…. Joe: *Laughs* It’s not only me…. I think that feeling is super cool…. Toshiya: Somehow….after more than 20 years….we’ve been together for a while but….I would say that they are still mysterious/unknown people for me….I think they are interesting people, though…. Joe: In the end, you were the last person…. Toshiya: To join them (the band)…. Joe: To join them….I want to ask you about that….Who was the first person  you spoke to? who did you talk to?.... Toshiya: Originally, they were playing together in a band before….at first, I just talked with Kyo about doing a band… Joe: I see Toshiya: We were about to disband each other’s bands so it was like….”let’s play together”…..at that moment, they were looking for a member….and after that,  the other three members followed…. Joe laughs Joe: You talked with Kyo about doing a band together but, what kind of image did you have of him? Toshiya: Well, I don’t know….at that time, it felt like an attraction force….like “Oh, this person is amazing”….like “it’s the first time I’ve met someone like this”…. Joe: Ehh…..”Ask him about the snow”…..”in the snow”…..they are writing that….is that related Kyo? Toshiya: Ahh….it was to do with the other members….all of them….they came to my hometown….there was a livehouse called Nagano J….well it still exists but it’s at a different place…at that time it was at the East exit of the station…..it was there where I played with them for the first time…. Joe: “Normal tires”….is that an important part of that story? Toshiya: *Laughs* They came driving with normal tires… Joe: That’s dangerous…. Toshiya: Yes, there were lots of snow…. Joe: That’s bad…they weren’t organized with that? Toshiya: They weren’t and in the end, it’s really a region with heavy snowfalls…. Joe: As expected from Kansai people… Toshiya: But they were really cute….it doesn’t snow often in Kansai right? Joe: Barely… Toshiya: They started touching it, squealing, and doing crunching sound walking…. Joe imitates them, squealing and bouncing. Joe: That’s reaaaaaally…..nice right? Toshiya: It was so like…..”it feels good”…. Joe: Kyo too? Toshiya: Everyone… Joe: I would love to have seen that…. Toshiya: That difference between how they look and how they are inside…..it’s amazing…. Joe: That’s really good…. Toshiya: I think it’s fascinating…. Joe: But as you said….as we saw in the previous live footage….isn’t it like they totally were different people? Toshiya: When we all get off stage… all of us are just ordinary old men…..*laughs* Joe: I wouldn’t say that you are ordinary old men…. Toshiya: Ordinary old men…. Joe: No,no,no…how do you change that much when you get on stage? Toshiya: I don’t know….it’s like a switch….I think it’s interesting… Joe: It is….that’s the power of the music…..the power of the audience….

Toshiya: Both, right? Joe: Both things….”Isn’t there a picture of that moment”….they are asking that…. Toshiya: There is, there is…. Joe: Eeeeh? Is there? Toshiya: There is….it’s at my parents home….but I’m not going to show it… Joe: A picture of everyone being “kyaaa” with the snow? Toshiya: It’s true…. Joe: Let’s make it public someday… Toshiya: No,no ….it’s not only me in that photo…. Joe tries to convince Toshiya to show the pic someday but he insists that it’s not only him in the picture. Joe: I’m going to ask for permission….I’m going to ask for permission and if all members are ok with it…. Toshiya: It won’t happen…. Joe: Is that so? … They are saying “please” at the comments….”At the fanclub newsletter”…. Toshiya: I see…. You all behave like spoiled kids…. Joe burst into laugh and stands Joe: It came out (the real Toshiya)! He said “spoiled kids”…..the alcohol is already hitting….”spoiled kids!!”….”Please Joe”…..I’m going to negotiate with him….I’m going to do my best….I’m spoiled too but I’m going to do my best….if they give us permission…..maybe you can show it at the fc newsletter or some place like that…. Toshiya: That’s it….I’m going to show that picture to the rest of the members and if they are ok with it….I will reveal it… Joe: I think that probably I won’t have the chance to meet the other members so….you should let me to keep in custody that picture….*Toshiya laughs* it’s dangerous…. Toshiya: You would be the first one to…. Joe: It could get leaked suddenly… Toshiya: No way, no way, no way…. Joe: *Laughs* You are not drunk yet…. Toshiya:No,no…. I think it’s funnier to imagine the picture… Joe: Everyone, imagine that picture, we are going to show today another picture anyway…. Toshiya: Imagine that Dir en grey….those five people…. Joe: That Dir en grey like “ah, this is what snow is….” Toshiya: Not five people….Not me….imagine that four people…. Joe: Did you take the picture? Toshiya: It was my mother who took it…. Joe: I see. Isn't it a really another good story?....Toshiya’s mom took the picture of those five people playing cutely with the snow…I hope that one day that picture is revealed… Toshiya: It’s scary…. Joe: It is…..I’m looking forward to that… ….. Joe: Talking about pictures, everyone has pictures at the gallery of their phones but today we are showing a strange picture that Toshiya has in his cell phone! Let’s show it…. A strange picture from Toshiya… The picture appears on screen. Die and Shinya are at the airport playing with a baggage scale. Die is up the scale while shinya is next to him. Joe: What is this?.....where is it? Who is there?.....please explain it a bit…. Toshiya: It’s Shinya and Die…. Joe: Shinya is the one at the front, and Die is the person who is up (the scale)…. Toshiya: This is at Saint Petersburg’s airport in Russia. We have already checked in so we have already dropped our luggage too….so when I looked I was like “ahhh? What are these two doing?”….so, that’s where you weight your luggage….and they were weighing themselves…. Joe burst into laugh. Toshiya: When you take your eyes off… it’s like “Are they children?”…. Joe: That’s it….it’s like they are the same than the ones who played with the snow… Toshiya: They are cute people…. Joe: Two blood type B doing as they please…. Die did it first and then Shinya…they were like….”ohh X kilos”….. Toshiya: Yes, Die was like “how much?” and then “Do you want to try, Yamo chan?”…. Joe: They did it together? After this, Shinya step up….if you look at this, they look as cute as in the other stories… Toshiya: You said so, I didn’t… Joe: I’m sorry…Can we do as if you didn’t hear what I just said? So, Kaoru and Kyo too…..they didn’t take part in this…it was just these two… Toshiya: They didn’t….just them…. Joe: This is what happens often when you are not looking at them… Toshiya: This happens often…. Joe:  Everyone can’t imagine that just listening to what you say…. Toshiya: *Laughs* That’s it….it’s really amusing….really amusing… Joe: It is…..it’s really a precious photo this one…. (Third part here)

[sunflowergirl522]

Runaway: That Was Easy

Pairing: Tiefling!Bucky x Elf!Reader

Summary: Bucky takes a lot of jobs to make a living and this one was no different. Except for the fact that it’s for an elf prince and elves tend to avoid him in general. He accepts and with Sam and Steve they start their journey to find the elf prince’s runaway bride.

Word count: 2443

Warnings: Language

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Someone’s looking for you!” Sif announces as she rushes into the dwarves' cottage. The door slams into the table behind it from the force of her opening it. She’s quick to slam it shut behind her and lock it.

“What?” Before she had barged in you had been eating and laughing with Thor, Volstagg, and Brunnhilde. Thor was just finishing up a dwarf drinking song while Volstagg got himself more beer and Brunnhilde was throwing wise cracks at how bad Thor sounded. Sif’s words though were enough to make the four of you stop and turn your heads to her in confusion.

“I just ran into a halfling at La Luna, he said that he and his friends are looking for an elf princess and I haven’t seen any other elf princesses lately.” Sif comes to the table and starts to unpack the food she had brought home with her and putting some off to the side to pack up for you.

“Did he say why?” You stand up not sure how to react to the news that people are looking for you and in the process stop Volstagg from overfilling his mug, taking the pitcher from him.

“No but his friends were talking to the bartender and you know how loose his lips can be with the right price.” 

“They could be right behind you.” Volstagg’s chair topples to the ground in his rush to stand up. Sif just nods at him in response. It doesn’t make sense, why would somebody be looking for you? You were sure that you hadn’t made any enemies in all your years, and the moon elves have no quarrel with anyone, they just live in peace in their kingdom, it was rare for any of them to even leave.

“Milady, you should leave. We can cover for you, tell them you were never here.” Thor looks at you as he starts to help Volstagg pack you up food and supplies.

“They could be dangerous, I can’t just leave you all to lie for me! If anything were to happen to any of you, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” The dwarves were some of your closest friends, you had met them years ago while you were out and about and make a point to visit them every time you decide to go on another adventure.

“We’ll be fine Y/n. You must go especially in case they’re dangerous.” Brunnhilde throws more things in the pack as she speaks and you recognize some of it to be the new clothes that she had gone into town to get you yesterday. You didn’t come to them with much, just the clothes on your back and a couple daggers. Your dwarf friends are kind though and along with packing you the clothes and food they get some axes ready to send you off with. Thor comes over and hands you your cloak and the pack while Sif situates the axe holder on your back.

“Tell the others I said goodbye?” Thor just nods at you before leading you to the back door.

“Farewell sweet maiden!” Volstagg yells out to you and you can’t help but smile at it through all the worry.

“Take care of yourself princess, I hope our paths cross again.”

“You as well Thor. I’m sure we’ll all see eachother again soon, I might come back after I take care of whatever is going on.” You kiss his forehead before starting to head out. “Thank you all for everything!” You call out over your shoulder before tossing your hood up and walking into the woods.

 As you start to climb up a tree you think about how you can’t wait to change into your new clothes and get out of your dress. Climbing can be such a hassle when the bottom of a dress snags on the bark and branches. Once high enough you begin to travel from branch to branch back to the front of the cottage. You choose one that’s close enough to see the door but high enough and far enough away that no one should be able to spot you if they were looking in the trees. You weren’t going to leave them to deal with it on their own but you also weren’t going to interfere unless the strangers began to threaten your friends. You sit and lean back onto the tree trunk and wait for the strangers to arrive. And then, after waiting a short while, you hear them before you see them.

“Maybe they’ll have some food we can have.”

“Is that all you think about?” 

“Only when somebody doesn’t let me eat before dragging me out of town and then doesn’t even let me have a snack out of the food pack.” 

You can see the three characters as they approach the cottage from your hiding spot. These must be the people Sif was talking about you think to yourself as you spot the halfling. You sit up straight as they knock on the door, staying alert while Brunnhilde opens it up. The human and the hooded one speak to her for a little bit before the halfling asks her something, causing her to turn around to say something to someone inside. The hooded one looks down at him in what you can only assume is a glare. You bring your hand up to your mouth to help hold in the laugh that threatens to escape as Volstagg brings out a basket of food and hands it to the halfling. The joy you feel from that is short lived though because the hooded one barges into their home. You get into a crouched position ready to jump down to help if needed and watch the other two stay outside politely and you’re pretty sure the human apologizes, though lip reading was never your forte.

You let out a breath as the hooded one comes back out packing something away. They walk straight back into the woods without saying anything to their friends. The halfling is quick to follow him while shoving food in his face and the human stays back for a minute to say something to Brunnhilde and Volstagg before following as well. You follow them from above to see if you can find out anything about them or why they’re looking for you after debating on if you should do that or see if everything is alright with the dwarves. 

“Why are you always so rude? This is why everyone tends to hate you.” The halfling must’ve caused something to snap in his friends because he stops in his tracks before turning towards him real quick.

“Everyone hates me before I even open my mouth to talk! Something you wouldn’t understand, you were lucky enough to be born a joyful trusting little halfling!” His hood comes off as he speaks and your eyes go wide as a handsome blue tiefling is revealed. You catch yourself leaning over the branch to try to get a better look at his face. If he wasn’t so rude to your friends you might’ve even had the urge to run your fingers through his dark shoulder length hair.

“Alright you two, all that matters is that we don’t hate you. Now what did you take from the dwarves?” The human steps between the two men and the tiefling seems to calm down a bit at the distraction of the question. 

“The Princess was definitely there. I found her crown, they tried to claim that she had traded it for supplies but I know enough about princes and princesses that they don’t just trade away their crowns.” He pulls your crown out of his bag and holds it out to his friends on a hooked finger. 

You gasp and your hand flies up to your head to feel for it, even though you can see it. How could you have been so stupid as to leave without it? Of course he knows you were there, crowns are sacred belongings, especially for moon elves. You had crafted it yourself and picked the moonstone that had called out to you. 

“My plan is to loop around the cottage, see if there’s a back exit, then figure out which way she went.” As he leads his friends off of the main path you start to panic a little. You don’t want them to start anything with the clan or bother them anymore than they already have. You might as well interfere now if you plan to later. So without thinking about it anymore you make your next moves. 

A dagger flies through the air, just barely missing Bucky, and lodges itself in a tree behind him. He jumps back and grabs one of his long swords from a sheath on his back readying himself for a fight. Steve takes hold of his bow and reaches back to grab an arrow to ready one to shoot. And Sam, he lets out a yelp and jumps behind Steve’s legs out of, what he’ll call later, shock. A cloaked figure jumps down from the trees, landing in front of them. Their hood is up, hiding them from the sight of the trio. 

“Who are you and why are you looking for the Princess?” Their voice gives away that they’re female but it has a hardness to it that shows that she means business. They point an ace at the trio standing in a threatening stance. 

“Why is that any of your business?” Bucky gets into a semi crouched position and takes a step forward. 

“I asked you first tiefling.” Bucky snarls at the figure just itching for a fight to start. “You answer my questions and I’ll return the favor. It’s how these things work.” Steve steps in front of Bucky to put something between the two of you and holds his hands up in a way to help prevent a fight from happening at all. 

“Let’s all calm down now, there’s no need for anyone to get hurt when we could talk like civilized people.”

“Names, now.” 

“I’m Steve, this here is Bucky, and that’s Sam.” He points over his shoulder to their halfling friend. 

“Why are you looking for the princess, Steve?”

“We were hired to find her. Are you looking for her too?” 

“You could say that.” 

“Uh, Steve, did the prince say anything about hiring anyone else when he came looking for us?” Sam scratches his head in confusion as he asks and takes a step forward. 

“Prince?” And just like that the cold demanding nature of your voice melts away to a more soft concerned one. The question goes unnoticed by Steve and Sam but Bucky hears it. It peaks his curiosity and he tilts his head to the side while squinting and trying to make out the shadow beneath the hood. 

“He didn’t say anything about hiring anyone else but he did seem like he was desperate enough to have.” 

“Woah, hold on. What prince?” The confusion in your voice confuses Steve immensely. Who else would have hired you to find the princess.

“Oh you know, sun elf, doesn’t know jack shit about the princess, pretty damned arrogant bastard if you ask me.” 

You look down at the ground to wrap your head around the situation. Why would he send a fucking search party for you? You left him a note telling him you didn’t want to fucking marry him. Hell you hadn’t even properly met him yet and you knew he was a prick. Maybe sneaking out wasn’t the best way to go about it but his guards would’ve for sure stopped you from leaving. You take a deep breath before letting out an annoyed and angry shriek and throwing the axe at a tree close to you. 

“That self entitled, spoiled, dandelion eating, scorpion prick!” Your voice drops the veil of being threatening and returns to its normal sound as you curse his name. 

Bucky smirks at the fact that someone else has the same opinion of the prince as he does. When he looks over to Steve and Sam he’s ready to tell them he told them so about the prince but their shocked expressions stops him. And as Sam lets out a little ‘woah’ he turns back to you just to find that as you pulled the axe from the tree your hood had fallen off, revealing yourself to them. 

“You’re the princess.” You blow a strand of hair out of your face as you slide the axe back into its spot on your back before looking back at the group of men behind you. 

“Yeah, alright, you got me. I’m the princess, I’d prefer you called me Y/n instead and gave me my crown back. Please and thank you.” As you speak you walk up to Bucky and hold out your hand waiting for your property to be returned to you. 

“He said you were kidnapped.” 

“Well, Steve, as you can see I very much wasn’t. I’m safe and sound so you can go tell him I’m fine and not to worry about me, it’s not his job to anyway. I’ll just need my crown back and we’ll never have to see each other again.”

“That’s not gonna happen princess. We were hired to find you and take you back so that’s what we’re gonna do. You’re only getting this crown back after you get us to the kingdom.” 

His words, as frustrating as they might be, spark an idea in your head. You can take them a long way back so that you can still adventure and visit a friend or two and once you get to the outskirts of the kingdom, you’ll get your crown back and take off again. Maybe you’ll even go home and tell your father about how much of an ass the prince is. You huff to play along with not wanting to go. 

“Fine, lead the way, oh wait he wouldn’t have told you where it was, follow me.” You take your dagger out of the tree and place it back in it’s holster on your thigh keeping your eye on Bucky, trying to think of ways to get your crown back before the kingdom. In doing this you miss Sam all but faint at your action. You then turn and start to lead the way back to the main path, smiling to yourself once your back is facing the trio. Steve follows, carrying a frozen Sam over his shoulder. Bucky hesitates, he can’t help but feel that getting you to agree to go back was too easy.

Bucky Taglist: @puddinsqueen​ @koressecretidentity​ @stevieintheimpala​ @unmagically​ @peachytea01​ @the-chocoholic-writer​ @perksofbeingatrex​ @99-cats​ @rachmmb​ @quokkatrash​ @vanillamaa​ @strawb3rrydr3ss​ @that-sarcastic-writer​ @spideyycents​ @mackycat11​ @crystalsoul2​ @rosiemotion​ @dissectiontime​ @lmf​ @jacelynenursalim​ @aiyanalevina​ @mooncaffeine​ @fanofalltheficsx​ @jewelsrocks99​ @lharrietg​ @yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @clubcesspool @sailormajinmoon​ @girl-obsessed-with-things​ @corvusmorte @sophielovesbarnes​ @collywobbl​ @majo240820​ @alina02​ @toothhurtyam​ 

Marvel Taglist: @its-the-autism-innit-luv​ @pogueslandia​ @obsessedwithbuckybarnes​ @rorysreallyrandom​ @sxtansqueen​ @myalupinblack​ @aya-fay @lieswithoutfairytales​ @kakakatey​ @sugarbutterbailey​ @1-800-ch3rry​ @amelia-song-pond​ @leyannrae​ @ficsnrec​ @slut-for-bucky-barnes​ @neenieweenie​ @officiallyunofficialperson​

Everything Taglist: @florenceyelena​ @ninuffi​ @i-love-superhero​ @kolakube9​ @lexy9716​ @hehehehannahthings​

[pink-flame]

Juke Bodyguard AU Pt.3

Here it is! The third and final part of the Juke Bodyguard AU inspired by your requests from the trope game. I reserve the right to do a standalone in this universe at some point but this wraps things up nicely for now. Enjoy! 

Part 1

Part 2

Bodyguard AU + Love Confessor (Character A confessing their love for Character B to Character C)  

Julie was used to change.

Bad change like when her mom got sick and she had to learn who she was when she couldn’t see it reflected back at her through her mother’s eyes. Bad change like when music felt like a stranger and everything she had ever wanted seemed suddenly pointless.

Good change like when she found her way back to it with a vengeance, Alex and her dad and Reggie and Carlos and Flynn refusing to give up until she started chasing her dream again. Good change like when against all odds those dreams actually started coming true, the record deal, and the hit albums and now her first national tour, a new city every night.

What she wasn’t used to was waiting for a change that didn’t seem to be coming.

She had been so sure after what she now internally referred to as “the flu incident” that things between her and Luke would change. That their vaguely flirty dynamic would transition naturally into more flu incident level expressions of affection and then a love confession, marriage and 2-3 obnoxiously good looking babies. Not right away on those last two or anything but still.

And yet here they were, three months and 24 shows later, and they were right back in vaguely flirty territory. Only she was finding it harder and harder to flirt back now that the realization that flirting was all it might ever be started to sink in.

And maybe that was the way it was supposed to be.

After all, he was her bodyguard. She was technically his boss.

She was a strong, independent woman with a thriving music career. She didn’t need some floppy haired boy to complete her life.

Didn’t stop her from wanting him though.

She didn’t bother to go to Alex for advice since he was firmly on what he had taken to calling “Team Juke”. Reggie wasn’t much better, asking her if Luke was there every time she called and never believing her when she told him she was alone. So she did what she always did when she needed someone to tell her the harsh truth.

She called Flynn.

“Look, girl, I haven’t met him but I’ve seen him on tv hovering behind you so I get it. He’s so your type. But he’s not real. He’s a fantasy you can get invested in because you know nothing will ever come of it.”

“It could,” She grumbled into the phone.

“Are you planning on confessing that you’re madly in love with him any time soon?” Flynn countered pointedly.

“I can’t,” Julie answered quickly. “Not when it’s so obvious he doesn’t feel the same.”

“Then he’ll always be a fantasy. He’s like air.”

Julie sighed.

“Cute air.”

“You wouldn’t have called me if you weren’t tired of feeling like this,” Flynn insisted. “I’m not going to let you get your heartbroken. And right now you’re on tour with Luke. So the key is avoiding those big, beautiful, dangerous eyes.”

And as much as the idea of avoiding Luke, eyes and all, seemed ridiculous when he was literally paid to follow her around, she knew she had to give it a try.

Because Flynn was right.

If she couldn’t have him then she couldn’t let him consume her life.

She was sure she would get a great song out of the situation one day but for now she just needed to pull back a little until she could see him as just a coworker she was friendly with. She could do that. Right? Of course she could. She was Julie Molina.

Only it was easier said than done.

Because Luke did not seem to take the hint.

She came stumbling off the stage after a particularly epic encore, vision blurry from the blinding lights, every muscle weak from hours of exertion, yet feeling incredible. At least she was feeling incredible until she tripped over her own unstable feet and Luke was right there, like he always was, to catch her. His hands latched onto her forearms gently, steadying her even as he grinned directly and dangerously into her eyes.

“You ok there, Boss?”

Julie managed a nod, the pounding of her heart combined with the still echoing roar of the crowd leaving his voice sounding far away and yet annoyingly clear.

“They were loving you out there,” He told her in that specific, Luke way. “You were amazing, Jules. Insane, spectacular, rad!”

This guy and his insistence on using slang from two decades ago. She definitely didn’t find that endearing.

She had to stick to the plan.

Julie ducked her head and pushed back from his grip gently at the same time.

“Thanks.”

She glanced up just long enough to see a confused and slightly hurt look on his face before she pushed past him and headed towards the green room, Alex falling into step next to her.

“Are we going to talk about why you just kicked that helpless puppy over there?” Alex asked.

Julie punched him in the arm.

“Keep your voice down, he’s right behind us! And that helpless puppy is literally the very capable bodyguard tasked with keeping me alive, so.”

“So you admit you kicked him,” Alex responded in a completely unhelpful manner.

“Ugh, shut up,” Julie groaned, glancing back and catching Luke’s eager eyes for a split second before quickly facing forward again. “I have a plan.”

“Flynn has a plan,” Alex corrected. “A stupid plan that she never would have suggested if she had seen for herself how crazy he is about you.”

“Has he said that?” She turned her head towards her best friend sharply.

Alex tilted his head.

“Not in so many words but Julie…”

“Then we stick to the plan.” She interrupted determinedly.

Alex sighed.

“Idiots, I’m surrounded by idiots.”

A couple of weeks later, Julie was starting to think he was right.

She had been doing her best to keep her relationship with Luke strictly business and it was somehow more exhausting than the two shows a week and all the time spent trying to sleep in a tour bus cot. She pretended to be busy when he offered to work on a song. She said she was tired when he tried to get her to join him for a beer with the roadies. She pretended she didn’t see him trying to catch her eye during the thousand little moments during the day when she had grown used to making eye contact with him to laugh at something Alex had said or roll their eyes when her manager tried to talk her into something completely dumb.

It was exhausting.

And the thing was it wasn’t even working.

Because every sad, kicked puppy look (as Alex called it) he gave her only left her more distracted and in more emotional turmoil. Part of her was a little mad at him. How dare he look so hurt that she wasn’t playing their usual game when he clearly didn’t want anything more? She wasn’t just a convenient outlet for his excessive flirting energy. But mostly she was just mad at herself for thinking that this ludicrous plan could ever work.

She had thought he was trouble since the moment she met him.

And she was definitely in trouble now.

It was the night of the last show of the tour and they were back in LA to finish things off. Flynn was too sick to come (ironically she thought she had the flu) but Julie’s family were out there in the VIP section. Even Reggie had come down from San Francisco to catch the show.

Julie was feeling oddly nervous for some reason. She had grown up dreaming of playing the Orpheum. It was the smallest venue she was playing on the whole tour, her manager had tried to talk her out of it, but she had insisted it was the Orpheum or nothing. Reggie and Alex had taken her to so many shows there when she was a teenager, it’s where she had discovered rock. Somehow even after everything she knew it wouldn’t fully feel like she’d achieved her dreams until she played there. It was time. Only she had finally made it there and she felt like she was going to throw up.

She wanted desperately to seek Luke out so he could tell some dumb joke to distract her or give her one of his borderline too intense pep talks. But she wasn’t doing that anymore. In fact she had insisted he go take his break now before the show, promising not to leave her green room just to keep herself from giving in to the urge.

“You doing alright there, Jules? You look kind of green.”

Julie spun on her heels and barreled directly into her big brother’s arms.

“Oof!” He huffed as she knocked the air from his lungs, his arms still coming up to wrap around her despite his shock. “You ok?”

“I’m fine,” She told him, her voice muffled as she buried her face against his chest. “It’s just that it’s the Orpheum and you know what that means to me, and the whole family is here to see me play and I’m so nervous and I’m missing Mom and I’m totally in love with my dumb bodyguard.”

Reggie pushed her back by the shoulders until he could see her blotchy face.

He reached up to ruffle her hair affectionately.

“First of all, Flynn and I totally called it,” He said with a smirk. “And Alex swears the two of you have taken ten years off of his life with your stupidity.”

“Alex talks too much,” Julie grumbled. “And Flynn is the one who told me to stay away from his annoyingly pretty eyes to begin with.”

“That’s only because she wants you to be happy. So do I by the way. And this?” He waved his hand to indicate her current state. “I hate to break it to you, Jules, but this isn’t happy.”

Julie sighed as her shoulders sagged and all of the fight went out of her at once.

“I know,” She said defeatedly. “But what am I supposed to do? I can’t force my feelings on the guy especially when I’m his boss. That’s creepy on top of being pathetic.”

“Funny,” Alex broke in from the doorway. “That’s exactly what he just said to me.”

Julie just gaped at him for a few long seconds while Reggie and Alex exchanged amused yet exasperated looks.

“Wait...what did he say exactly?” Julie finally managed to get out.

Alex rolled his eyes.

“Oh you know, ‘What did I do? Why is Julie mad at me? I’m so in love with her do you think she figured it out? Did I come off as a creep? Do you think she’ll have my babies?’”

Julie felt her mouth drop open.

“Dude!” Reggie protested.

“Ok, so the last part was more implied than said directly,” Alex admitted.

“But he said he loves me?” Julie asked hurriedly.

“Yeah,” Alex confirmed. “I’ve been telling you he does for months by the way, but nobody listens to me.”

Julie ignored her best friend’s statement and sprinted for the door.

“Where are you going?” Reggie called after her.

“You go on in ten!” Alex added frantically.

“I’ll make it!” She shouted back without slowing down.

She ran down the hallway, dodging makeup artists and promoters and so many people she’d wanted to impress just a few minutes before. There was only one person she wanted to see at that moment.

Julie kept going until she found the exit that led to the alley outside and burst through it. Luke felt caged in if he was inside for too long, something about living in a garage for a year as a teen. He stuck by her side and did his job perfectly but any chance he got she knew he could be found breathing in the fresh air and feeling like his lungs could fully expand. Sure enough, there he was, leaning against the probably filthy wall humming some song that she knew would be amazing if he ever really gave it life.

He stood straight and took two steps towards her as soon as she emerged from the door, a look of concern immediately taking over his features.

“Julie? What are you doing out here? You’re about to go on…”

She closed the distance between them and stopped just a half step closer than she normally would, her sudden proximity shutting him up for a moment.

She just looked up at him for a few seconds, just to enjoy it after weeks of denying herself. He broke the eye contact first, chuckling awkwardly as he looked down briefly.

“What?”

“Can you do me a favor?” She asked seriously.

He answered instantly.

“Anything, Julie, you know that.”

“Tell me what you just told Alex.”

His face drained of color, almost ghost like in appearance.

“He promised he wouldn’t say anything,” He mumbled.

Julie shrugged.

“He probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t walked in on me telling my brother pretty much the same thing.”

Luke’s eyes widened comically as he took in her words.

“You told your brother that I did something to make you hate me and that I don't know what it is and it’s eating me up inside?” He asked in confusion.

“I told him I love you,” She said bluntly, all the bravery she had inherited from her mom giving her the nerve. “And that I’ve been trying to distance myself from you because I didn’t think you felt the same.”

“That’s...that’s...Jules, that’s crazy!” He exclaimed, bouncing a little to emphasize his words. “I’m head over heels, crazy in love with you. Always have been.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked softly, managing to step even closer to him.

His eyes softened as he reached down to tuck one of her curls behind her ear.

“Because you’re my boss, and you’re totally out of my league. You’re this super talented, total force of nature. I mean you’re Julie Molina and I’m…”

“A big fan?” Julie interrupted, raising one eyebrow teasingly.

Luke froze.

“How did you…”

“I’ve been in your apartment, remember? When you had the flu I snooped a little. Sorry. The fact that you have my first album on vinyl is one thing but to have a cd of my first EP is really impressive. I didn’t know hard copies of that still existed…”

Like groaned.

“Ok, ok. You got me. I didn’t want you to think I was a pathetic fanboy, alright?”

Julie grinned.

“Isn’t that what you are?”

Luke smiled softly down at her, brushing the back of two fingers over her cheek.”

“Only for you, Boss.”

Julie instinctively stretched onto her toes, raising her face towards his, her eyes starting to flutter shut…

BANG

They sprang apart and spun to face Alex who had just emerged breathing heavily into the doorway behind them.

“You know no one is more Team Juke than I am but Julie you are going on in 2 minutes!”

“Oh crap,” Julie said. “I’m coming.”

Alex shot her a skeptical look.

Julie glared at him until he sighed and disappeared back inside.

“Team Juke?” Luke asked.

Julie giggled, already backing towards the door.

“Don’t ask. I’ve got to go but later we should talk about your future with the company.”

Luke’s eyebrows shot up.

“You’re firing me?”

Julie grinned.

“Well, I think we both might find your current duties a little too distracting. I think I need a stoic, middle aged man built like a linebacker. But we’ve been looking to hire a new songwriter to help me with the next album if you know anyone who might be interested.”

Luke grinned back.

“I might.”

He bit his lip and stared after her with those big, beautiful, dangerous eyes.

He was such trouble.

Julie ran back to him wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning up to a plant a quick kiss on his lips, pulling back before he could fully register what she was doing.

“Hold that thought,” She whispered with a smile before turning and running back through the door and towards the second dream come true of the night.

She was Julie Molina. She was about to play the Orpheum. She was in love with her bodyguard.

She was in trouble and she couldn’t be happier about it.

[ginnyweasely]

ALWAYS FOREVER [DRACO MALFOY X READER]

pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem!)

warnings: swearing, alcohol, angst!!, very angsty, au!!, kind of ooc draco but this is how i imagine adult draco!! 

summary: an au where draco attends a hogwarts reunion in hopes of bumping into the reader<3

word count: 3.8k+

A/N: i’ve always wanted to write a lil angsty au so here i am!! also italics are flashbacks/memories! FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED AND WELCOME!! also still taking requests but just know that it will take me a while to do them okay love y’all ENJOY!! <3  also this is inspired by la la land bc i was rewatching it

MASTERLIST

Draco sighed softly as he fixed his suit slowly and then he quickly turned his attention to the clock, he huffed annoyed as he realized it was only 8.30 pm, the party had started 30 minutes ago and he felt as though he was already bored out of his mind, this whole Hogwarts “reunion” thing felt bonkers to him, he didn’t have one single person he wanted to see.

He absolutely hated the idea of having to see Potter and his little gang, he didn’t wanna see anyone from stupid Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff either, maybe seeing some of his old Slytherin friends would have been nice but he knew he could live without seeing them, so that’s why he was now mentally cursing himself for arriving at this stupid reunion party.

He knew he couldn’t leave either because he knew the only reason he came here was to see her, see Y/N. 

He couldn’t possibly admit this to himself, the thought of not being able to get out his “first real love” that ended 2 years ago out of his head was absolutely bonkers to him, but deep down he knew, he never forgot the girl, and he wanted to see what she was doing, what she was up to.

He sighed again as he made his way onto the table where the drinks were, he grabbed a glass and a smile came up to his lips as he poured himself a fire whiskey, turning around to still admire the crowd of old Hogwarts students in front of him.

His smile quirked up even more as he saw some of his old friends, Draco couldn’t admit to himself how good it was to finally be able to be in the company of old friends, it was certainly something he needed to get his mind out of his real problems. He greeted his old Slytherin friends with a smile.

Pansy, Daphne, Crabbe, Goyle and Theodore excitedly greeted the boy back. “We haven’t seen you in forever!” Daphne gushed as Crabbe and Goyle nodded vigorously, “What exactly have you been up to, mate?” Theodore asked as Draco looked down chuckling.

“Nothing in particular, really, just quidditch and stuff.” He said softly as Pansy smirked, “Right we forgot about our little famous quidditch player!” She said teasing as Draco chuckled brushing it off. 

“Don’t say that!” He exclaimed. “What? It’s true! You’re like totally famous.” Pansy said smiling as Draco shook his head humbled.

“We missed you you know.. it’s so nice to be with the whole old Slytherin group..” Daphne said softly as Draco nodded, “I missed you guys too..” He looked around softly as he then turned his head back to the group.

 “Speaking of the whole old Slytherin group, where is Blaise?” He asked softly as Pansy and Daphne froze softly. “Um.. He’ll be here shortly...” They said awkwardly as Draco just looked at them confused.

He took sips from his glass of firewhiskey, the alcohol burning his tongue and throat, giving him a numb feeling, he hissed a little at the feeling, when he looked up from his glass, he felt the group’s gaze on him, he looked at them confused.

“What? Do I have something on my face or something?” He asked chuckling as the group’s gaze diverted to what he had not been expecting, Blaise.

His eyes slowly followed the group’s gaze, seeing Blaise, but then his eyes slowly diverted to who Blaise was with, his hand was lingered onto her waist, Draco’s her, Draco’s Y/N. Both arriving with a smile on their face, Draco froze up at his spot, not knowing what to do.

He slowly fixed his collar loosening it as he gulped and took another sip of his fire whiskey. His old best friend, with his ex, the love of his life. H is mind was racing, with angry thoughts. “Draco.. we were gonna tell you..” Daphne said softly. “But we never really got the chance.. you were busy with quidditch and stuff..” Pansy finished off Daphne’s sentence.

“It’s fine, really..” Draco said chuckling bitterly, gulping hard once again. “Are you sure..” Daphne asked softly and offered to put her hand behind Draco’s back as Draco nodded and refused, tensing up. “It’s not like I’m hung up on the same girl for 2 years..” He said chuckling bitterly again as he put the glass onto his mouth again, taking a sip bitterly. 

Daphne and Pansy eyed his movements and both nodded understandingly as they looked at each other feeling guilty and backing up from the boy.

But Draco was not okay, he ruffled his hand through his hair, unable to stop his mind from wandering off, his mind was racing, racing through the memories he had with her, unable to stop himself.

Draco knew Y/N was something else from the start, right when he noticed her, he knew exactly which moment it was, it was when he first noticed her in the Potions class, it seemed that everything she did amazed her.

He was amazed by her beautiful smile, the sound of her cute giggles, how pretty she looked when she threw her hair off her shoulder and tried her best to concentrate on whatever thing she was doing, he felt amazed by her.

So when the next Potion class rolled around he couldn’t help but sit next to her, introducing himself properly, but as one does when meeting Draco Malfoy for the first time, Y/N found him to be snobby and bit too into himself, but she didn’t let that cloud her judgement about him, and with that, each time the two off them had a little chat Y/N got to know Draco a bit more, eventually growing a friendship with the boy.

The two being friends seemed very odd to everyone, since it was pretty obvious that Draco had always looked at her more than friends, his gaze towards the girl always had too much meanings, but it seemed that Y/N almost always missed that.

With the two now being friends, they almost always hung out together, enjoying each others company too soon too much. It was as if they could not be separated, always by each others side, although it did help that they were both in Slytherin and had friends who got along together.

And they both were too fond of each other’s presence, always going on little walks through out the castle, or always going out to grab a butter beer together, it seemed as if they were inseparable, they seemed to like that too, being there for each other, talking about every little thing, knowing they always had someone behind their back, but their friendship didn’t last that long, Draco was no longer capable of keeping his feelings to himself, dying to tell the girl.

He was so in love with the girl and wanted nothing more than to be with her, for the first time in his life, the boy felt proper love, affection, feelings for somebody.. it was too much for him, too much of a secret from him to keep from someone who he told everything to.

So when he finally confessed his feelings and learned that Y/N felt the same way, it was like the whole world was his, and they were both feeling ecstatic.

It was like they both had finally found their perfect match and they could finally be able to spend the rest of their life with them, they were both pretty sure that they were each other’s “the one” thinking nothing would ever stop them.

But of course it didn’t work like that, even if they wanted it to work like that, for a while things were amazing. The two would, like always go on dates together, sneak into each others dorm, spend holidays with each others families, have double dates with their mutual friend groups, they seemed like the perfect couple, it all seemed fine until the end of school came.

When school ended they knew they both had career plans ahead of them, they both had something planned for their life, and  Y/N knew Draco wanted nothing more than to be a professional quidditch player, whilst Draco knew Y/N wanted to be an auror, more than anything.

Their dreams came true, Draco was a professional quidditch player and Y/N successfully managed to be an auror, their dreams did come true, but it came true with an expense. And even  at first they managed to keep their jobs and relationship at check, always planning and timing ahead to not let their careers effect their relationship.

However a lot of things started piling up that seemed to cause a lot of problems in their relationship, like how Draco started getting big and more famous, and he had to go to international quidditch matches, always having to travel, it seemed that Y/N was always supportive and Draco appreciated that, but at the end of the day they could barely keep their relationship from falling apart, the long distance, barely spending time together, the fights, it was too much for them now.

They had to pick between their relationship or their career, and they picked their career, realizing how damaging their relationship had been on them lately, it wasn’t something that was easy for either of them, but it seemed as if that was their only option.

Draco came out of his memory trance as he noticed the pair walking up to their group, he could feel his mouth dry up slowly, it could be because of he was nervous or the alcohol had dehydrated him, and even though the second one seemed more likely he knew it was because he felt enormously stressed.

Blaise and Y/N approached them slowly as a smile played on Y/N’s lips, they greeted everyone but all Draco could hear was silence, his gaze froze and stuck to the ground, looking down for a few seconds, but his head popped up softly as he finally heard the voice, her voice, calling out for him.

“Draco?” She spoke up softly, hands nervously letting go of the hold on Blaise’s arm, “Hey..” She said softly greeting the boy and waving awkwardly in front of him, as his gaze finally met up with hers, his grey eyes were sharp but seemed to be full of regret.

“Uh.. hi.” Draco said softly, scratching his head nervously. “Blaise Y/N, how are you guys doing?” He said as his sounded more nervous and he ruffled his hands through his hair, the gaze between Y/N and Draco still not being broken as the two study each other’s movements, Blaise cleared his throat slowly to get the pair’s attention.

Y/N softly looked down, and so did Draco keeping his head down for a few more seconds, gulping and popping his head up again to admire the girl in front of him, however his eyes froze as they laid at her neck, seeing the infamous necklace still wrapped around her neck, he gulped slowly.

He sighed as he fixed his collar again loosening it, feeling as if he was not able to breath, “Uh.. I- Excuse me..” He said quickly excusing himself and brushing past the people to go out the balcony and get some air.  Y/N sighed softly as he looked up at Blaise, “Do you mind if I..” Y/N asked softly as Blaise sighed.

“He didn’t look well I just wanna check up on him!” Y/N exclaimed as Blaise just sighed again, “It’s fine..” He said slowly as Y/N gave him a smile, pecking his cheek softly and leaving to go after Draco.

Draco was outside the balcony getting deep breaths as he tried to calm down, but his mind was racing again, the bloody necklace, it was still there, still sitting on her pretty neck, as if it had always belonged there.

Y/N laughed softly throwing her hair back her shoulders, looking up to the boy in front of him, “You’re a git!” She said giggling as Draco scrunched up his nose, acting like he was offended “Ouch!” He said chuckling softly.

“It’s our first anniversary and you’re calling me a git?” He questioned raising his eyebrows as he tried to look serious, Y/N giggled again nodding. “Yup! But you’re a really hot git!” She said chuckling as Draco laughed softly, pecking the girl’s soft lips.

He then backed away softly, much to Y/N’s surprise. “I.. Um..” He stuttered. “What?” Y/N questioned confused and smiling. “I.. I got you something.” He said softly as Y/N’s face lit up more.

“Oh Draco, you shouldn’t have! We said we weren’t getting each other anything! I didn’t get you anything..” She said frowning and looking down softly as Draco chuckled softly, “I couldn’t resist, when I saw it.. it just felt like it belonged to you..” He said softly as his hand reach to his pocket.

He slowly pulled out a box and softly opened it, revealing a golden snake necklace inside it. Y/N smiled happily as she clapped her hands together. “Blimey Draco!” She exclaimed as she looked up at him, his face was now anxious, “Do you not like it?” He asked softly as Y/N shook her head quickly.

“Like it? Are you joking! I love it! It’s so beautiful!” She said exclaiming happily and throwing her hands around his neck happily, Draco chuckled, Y/N squeezed the boy too much as Draco groaned, “You trying to  kill me Y/L/N?” He said chuckling as Y/N pulled away giggling.

“Help me put it on, please! It’s so beautiful!” Y/N exclaimed excitedly still jumping up and down as Draco got out the necklace, Y/N slowly turned around and held out her hair for Draco to put on the necklace, his hands brushed her neck softly as he clasped the necklace on to her neck.

Y/N smiled happily as she turned around. “You look absolutely gorgeous..” Draco muttered softly as Y/N giggled, she looked up at the boy in front of her as her eyes lit up, “I love you..” Y/N said softly a smile creeping up on her lips.

Her focus fixated on him as her eyes gazed into Draco’s grey ones softly and lovingly, Draco’s eyes following hers “I love you more, princess.” Draco said softly as Y/N’s smile grew wider, her dimples showing.

Draco happily and softly kissed the girl in front of her smiling into the kiss as he did so.

“Draco?” A soft voice caused the boy’s mind to come back to reality, and he cursed himself as he realized who it belonged to, he slowly turned around to meet Y/N’s worried eyes.

“Hey.” He said softly, his eyes traveling down to the ground,  not daring to look up, “Are.. are you okay?” Y/N asked softly a hint of horridness was subtle in her tone, which caused Draco to chuckle bitterly. 

“C’mon Y/N..” He murmured, “What?” Y/N asked confused, as she threw her hands in the air. “What do you think?” He asked softly as his eyes darted up from the ground meeting her eyes slowly now.

She gulped slowly as she looked at the boy in front of her, “I don’t know..” She said shyly. “Of course I’m not okay, Y/N..” Draco said slowly.

 “I wasn’t okay with seeing you in the first place, but seeing you with someone else.. seeing you with Blaise of all people.. he was my friend..” Draco said slowly but disgust could be heard in his voice.

Y/N sighed softly, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously, “I’m.. I- I’m sorry.. I don’t know what to say.. I just.. it just happened..” She said softly crossing her arms in front of her chest nervously as Draco shook his head.

“How? Why?” Draco asked as it was now Y/N’s turn to shook her head, “I don’t know.. he was working with me and it just happened.. and it had been 2 years since we broke up, I wanted to give someone else a chance, be happy again.. It didn’t work out with you..” She said softly as Draco sighed.

“I’m sorry.. I know I have no right to be involved in your life, but I.. I wish it didn’t end like this, I..” He stuttered softly as he sighed again this time more out of sadness and regret, and Y/N looked down on the ground sadly.

“No, it’s okay.. I wish it didn’t end like this too..” She said softly and looked up at Draco, her voice was fragile and sadness could be read from her face as she  fiddled with her necklace nervously, Draco’s eyes slowly watched her movements, stopping as he saw the necklace again.

“You never got rid of that?” He asked slowly pointing to the necklace, Y/N’s eyes slowly looked down on her neck, she smiled embarrassed, “Um.. no..” She said.

“I tried to, but it has too many memories and it’s too important..” She said hesitantly and took in a deep breath. Draco’s lips twitched up slowly as he gave the girl a soft smile.

 “I’m glad, you decided to keep it then..” He said softly not breaking his gaze from the girl, as Y/N agreed nodding, playing with her hair, twirling it still kind of nervously.

“We should go inside and not have your date waiting..” Draco said awkwardly as Y/N nodded, leading the way and Draco followed quietly, but then he stopped for a moment. “Y/N?” He called out to her softly.

Y/N’s head turned around softly, looking deep into his eyes, her cheeks were now a rosy color, perhaps from the cold, as she was  waiting for the boy to speak.

 “I probably shouldn’t say this.. and I know it’s not appropriate but.. I can’t keep it inside..” He started slowly as Y/N watched him curiously, Draco took a deep breath before he opened his mouth to speak, “No matter what happens.. no matter who I end up with , just know that, I’m always gonna love you..” He confessed as Y/N’s eyes widened a little.

She ran her hands through her hair slowly, still not breaking the gaze as she looked up at him lovingly, she smiled softly as she studied him. “Then I probably shouldn’t say this either..” She started as she took a deep breath.  “I’m always gonna love you.. too...” She muttered softly as Draco smiled softly, knowing how the pair could never let go of each other fully, as they would always have some sort of love for each other.

The pair looked at each other for a while in silence, then decided to head inside. For the rest of the night Y/N and Draco were spending time with their friends, Draco now a bit happier that he was reuniting with his friends and did get a chance to talk to Y/N.

And Y/N missed hanging out with her old school friends and seeing Draco too. Each of them spending their time happily it seemed, as time passed quickly and now the reunion was coming to an end.

Blaise slowly said goodbye to everyone, then made his way over to Y/N “Let’s go, baby.” He said softly as Y/N turned around to meet him, “Oh, I haven’t said goodbye to Pansy, Daphne and the others goodbye yet!” She exclaimed as Blaise softly chuckled.

“Okay you go, I’ll be right outside.” Blaise said smiling as he pecked Y/N’s lips softly. “Love you.” He said softly as Y/N smiled, “Love you, too.” She said softly as she turned around to go over to wherever Pansy and Daphne were.

She excitedly smiled as she hugged the couple, “I’m so glad this whole thing happened, we should go on a double date like next week when you guys are available!” Y/N exclaimed as Daphne and Pansy chuckled at the enthusiastic girl.

“And spend an hour with Blaise and his ego?” Pansy questioned as Daphne playfully pinched the girl and Pansy flinched making Y/N chuckle, “I swear he’s not like that anymore!” Y/N said playfully hitting her on the shoulder.

“I have to go now, but I’ll see you guys next week?” Y/N questioned smiling as Pansy rolled her eyes softly, “I have to see humbled Blaise with my eyes, so consider that a yes.” She said smirking as Daphne nodded and Y/N laughed softly, hugging the girls goodbye.

She then turned around and spotted Draco with her eyes she shook her head as she realized she shouldn’t go over to him, so she slowly started getting ready to leave, but as she was about to leave, she stopped for a few seconds.

She sighed softly as she realized she couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye to him. She was unable to hold herself from saying goodbye to him. Even though she knew she might regret it, she slowly turned around and quickly made her way over to him before she could change his mind.

“It was nice seeing you today.” Y/N spoke up as she finally was right behind Draco, her chest rising up and down from breathing nervously. Draco turned around the face the girl, turning all his attention to her. A small playing along his lips at the sight of her. “You too Y/N.” He said softly his eyes lit with happiness causing Y/N to smile.

“Well, I wanted to say goodbye before I left, so..” She trailed off nervously. “Goodbye, and you know good luck with your quidditch stuff.” She said smiling weakly as Draco chuckled softly. “Thank you.. and you with your auror stuff too..” He replied sarcastically, as a weak chuckle came from Y/N’s mouth.

“Goodbye, Y/N.” He continued as his eyes burned through hers, the pair looking deep into each other’s eyes, connecting and communicating in a way their mouths never would. But soon enough Y/N cleared her throat softly as she nodded once again a playful smile coming onto her lips, she slowly turned around as she walked up to the exit slowly.

Just as Y/N reached the door, she couldn’t help but turn around and look at Draco one last time, and just then so did Draco, the pair’s eyes locking, a hint of tear in both of their eyes can be subtly seen, ever so subtly then that it can be seen for a fleeting second.

And Y/N smiles softly once again, a kind of soft but sad smile and not too visible, but enough to show Draco that everything he feels she feels too, everything he remembers about them, she remembers too.

It seems that it doesn’t matter if they are separated, they will always love each other, and be in each other’s life in a way, knowing they can never truly let each other go, Draco gave the girl a soft smile in return. Then Y/N turned around and slowly walked out the door.

[noladyme]

La Cuervo - Chapter 11

She is used to the biker-life, having grown into a woman in the familiar embrace of SAMCRO. A bad decision and a gun-shot later, she gets whisked off to Santo Padre, and put under the protection of another club. What is supposed to be a short stint in the Mayan headquarters just north of the border to Mexico, turns into something more; when la quervo begins to develop feelings for el angel - and he seems to return them in kind...

TW: violence, blood, drug use, alcohol, smut, fluff, angst

In the spirit of "The Crown Princess of Charming", this is a story about O.C. Nina and Angel Reyes. It is obviously non-canon, as characters who have passed on on Mayans M.C. are present in it, and others have been excluded completely. Nina is written as a cis-female, but I have tried to keep her race and looks as ambigous as possible. Should you find any of this story offensive, please let me know.

Nina was seated at the table in Felipe’s small kitchen, having been brought there by EZ a few hours earlier. The sun was setting outside, and she was looking at the orange sky, becoming red, and then dark blue.

“You haven’t touched your food…”.

“Huh?”. She was deep in thought, and almost knocked her glass of lemonade over, when Felipe spoke. Managing to stop it from falling, she took a sip. “Sorry”.

Felipe got up, and walked over to the fridge, grabbing a can of beer. He opened it, and set it down in front of her.

“Looks like you need this”, he smiled. Nina took a welcome sip of the beer, and smiled at Felipe.

“Thanks…”.

She went back to poking at her food. It smelled delicious, and she forced herself to take a bite.

“EZ wouldn’t tell me what’s going on, but I’m guessing it’s not good”, Felipe said. Nina tentatively met his eyes. “Are you in trouble?”.

“I’m… I don’t know”, she replied.

“Pregnant?”.

Nina’s eyes widened.

“What? Fuck no!”. She took a big gulp of the beer. “Sorry…”, she added, embarrassed at using profanities in front of the man.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked”, Felipe said, looking down at his hands.

There was a long moment of silence.

“You seem almost disappointed at my answer”, Nina muttered. Felipe blew out a short laugh.

“Maybe it would get my son to settle down… And you’re not the worst choice of nuera…”.

“I don’t think we’re quite there yet”, Nina replied. Felipe shrugged.

“I don’t know… I saw how Angel looked at you yesterday. He cares about you”.

“Yeah…”, Nina breathed. She knew Angel cared; but she knew how the life was. His club came first, and she was quite sure that same club was getting ready to ship her back home to Charming.

EZ stepped into the kitchen with his phone in hand.

“They finished at the table. Angel’s on his way”. Felipe got up to get a plate from one of the cabinets; obviously aware of the state of the fridge in his eldest son’s house. EZ placed a gentle hand on Nina’s shoulder. “Are you ok?”.

“I guess I don’t know yet”, she said. “Do you think they’ll make me leave?”, she added, almost in a whisper.

EZ didn’t reply, seemingly unsure what to answer. He sighed, and went to grab a beer for himself.

Unable to stomach even a bite more of the food, Nina pushed away her plate.

“Do you mind if I smoke?”, she asked Felipe.

“Yeah, he doesn’t…”, EZ began, but stopped when Felipe placed an ashtray in front of her.

“Go ahead”, the elder Reyes said with a soft smile. EZ looked confusedly between the two, but ultimately shook his head, and settled in a chair.

Nina took deep draws of her cigarette, and stared straight ahead of her. If the Mayans wanted her gone, she still had a home in Charming; but as it was, the thought of leaving was extremely painful. Whatever Angel and she had, was something real and beyond what she’d felt for any other person. She didn’t want to go, but at the same time the thought of Angel backing the MC in the decision made her think it might be for the best.

She wiped away a stray tear, and Felipe handed her a napkin.

“Like I said, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I think it requires something stronger than beer”, he said, and moved into the living room.

“Oh no. Pap is bringing out the mezcal”, EZ said.

“Why oh no?”, Nina asked.

“If you thought the Ferris wheel story was bad…”. EZ looked terrified. Nina finally let a smile reach her lips.

“Can’t wait”, she said.

A short while later, they were on their third shot of mezcal and laughing, when Angel walked into the kitchen. He took one look at Nina’s cigarette and the liquor, and frowned in confusion.

“Is this a party?”, he asked. Felipe got up and gave his son a half hug.

“Let me get your plate”, he said.

“Sorry, pap. We gotta go”, Angel replied. The mezcal had gone a bit to Nina’s head, and she scowled at the biker.

“Sit your ass down and eat your father’s cooking. Taking me back to Charming can wait 20 minutes”, she grumbled.

Angel looked at her confusedly, and took the plate Felipe handed him, before pulling up a chair to the small table. EZ poured him a shot.

Felipe sat down again.

“Where was I…? Oh, right. So, we’d let Angel be in charge of filling the piñata for EZ’s birthday, but he’d gone into the wrong section of the drug-store…”. Angel groaned.

“Nah… Not this, pap. Please…”, he pleaded.

“You think I want to hear this story again?”, EZ said. Felipe waved their objections away with a dismissive gesture, and continued.

“He picked the most colorfully wrapped things he could find, and filled it before Marisol and I could see what he’d gotten. I got this, pap; he insisted… Come the party, Ezekiel is banging away at the poor piñata, and breaks it open…”. He halted to laugh to himself for a moment. “And a shower of condoms rains over him”. Nina had to hold her belly from laughing.

“I thought it was candy!”, Angel exclaimed.

“Sure you did”, EZ said disbelievingly.

“I was 12…”, Angel said. Felipe chuckled at his sons bantering.

Angel downed his shot, and began shoveling food into his mouth, while Felipe and EZ went to do the dishes. Felipe resolutely declined Nina’s help, and poured her another drink to keep her seated.

While the eldest and the youngest Reyes got on with getting the kitchen back in order, Angel finished his meal; his eyes on Nina the whole time. She did her best to avoid meeting his gaze, once again feeling the pain of their impending goodbye. He handed his plate to EZ, and got up; reaching out his hand to her.

“Let’s go…”, he said. She took it, and sighed deeply.

Felipe wiped his hands, and came over to her, pulling her in to a tight hug.

“Take care, mija”, he said, and kissed her cheek. He patted Angel’s shoulder, and Angel nodded at EZ, before he led Nina out of the house, towards his bike in the driveway.

“I just need my stuff at your place”, she rasped.

“Why?”, Angel asked.

“Because I’m not going back north without my shit”, she hissed.

Angel frowned at her, once again sporting the deep furrow between his eyebrows.

“Nina…”.

She let out a flustered groan and stomped over to the bike.

“Let’s go!”, she said. When Angel didn’t move, she walked back towards him, and pulled at his cut. “Take me the fuck back to SAMCRO. Let’s get this over with!”.

“You’re drunk, cuervo”, he sighed.

“Yeah… So?”, Nina said.

“Ma’, the only place you’re going is home to sleep it off”, Angel said calmly.

“Yeah, like I said. Take me back to Charming”.

“No. Back home to mine”. Nina tilted her head confusedly. He grabbed her arm and led her over to the bike. “Can you ride?”.

“Yeah…?”, she muttered. “But…”.

“Not here”. He grabbed her helmet from EZ’s bike, and put it on her head, snapping it shut under her chin, before getting on the bike. Nina simply stood, open mouthed and wide-eyed. “Come on! Jesus… Look, I’m not taking you back north; but we do have something we need to talk about. When you’re sober”.

Nina clambered on behind him, and Angel drove them off into the night.

---

The smell of coffee woke her up. She opened her eyes and saw Angel setting down a mug on the bedside table, next to a glass of water and a bottle of Advil. He was topless and sweating, and it looked like he’d been working out. Turning her head, she found she was right in thinking so, when she saw that his barbells had been moved around.

“How’s the head, cuervo?”, he muttered, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He pushed a lock of hair out of her face, and stroked her cheek.

“Fine…”, she lied. Angel took two pills from the bottle, and held them out to her.

“Here…”. Nina frowned and shook her head. Angel scowled at her, and straddled her waist; sitting over her hips. He picked up the glass, and held the pills to her lips. “Open… Don’t make me hold your nose, little miss lightweight”. Nina sighed, and held out her tongue to accept the pills, before taking the glass, and chugging it.

“Happy?”, she grunted.

Angel took the glass, set it back on the table, and kissed her forehead.

“Good girl. Now are you gonna tell me what that was about last night?”.

Nina shifted underneath him.

“Are you going to get off me? Maybe put on a shirt?”.

“Nah. It’s easier to talk to you like this. It makes you less smart”, Angel grinned, and flexed his pectorals.

“Yeah. Your sexy body makes me stupid…”, Nina scoffed, and pushed at his chest; trying her best not to show how stupid she was in fact feeling. “I gotta pee”.

Angel got off her, and let her get out of the bed. She walked into the bathroom without looking at him.

While she was washing her hands, she noticed Angel had set up her toothbrush next to his own. An overwhelming sensation of warm joy and ice-cold embarrassment washed over her. She picked up the toothbrush, and stormed out of the bathroom; straight into the arms of Angel, who’d been waiting for her by the door. She threw her arms around his neck, and buried her face in his chest.

“I’m sorry”, she whispered.

“For what?”, he chuckled.

“For being an idiot… and drunk… and throwing up in the bushes before we made it inside last night”.

Angel laughed, his chest rumbling against her ear.

“Yeah, that was a different kind of fertilizer than I usually use”.

Nina tilted her face to look at him.

“I thought you were… that the club would vote to send me away”. Angel grinned and stroked her temple.

“You think I’d let them do that? Fuck no. You’re mine, and you belong here”. Nina smiled, and went to kiss him, when Angel pulled back, grabbed the hand she was holding the toothbrush in, and held it in front of her. “Your breath stinks, ma’. Use this, and then I’ll kiss you all you want”.

She almost ran into the bathroom, and thoroughly brushed her teeth, before putting the toothbrush back next to Angel’s. Once back in the bedroom, Angel smilingly pulled her into his arms, and kissed her greedily. They were all tongues and groping hands, when suddenly he pulled back, and looked somber.

“We need to talk”, he said. Nina sighed.

“I have a feeling I‘m gonna need that coffee now”.

Angel put on a beater, grabbed her mug for her, and led her into the living room to sit on the couch.

“There’s a snitch in the clubhouse…”, he began.

In spite of not being surprised, Nina let out an exasperated sigh.

“Do you know who it is?”, she asked. Angel nodded.

“We think it’s Daniella. You saw how she was all over Sala at the party. She was there when they were talking about the inhaler, and EZ told Bish that she saw you use it in the trailer. Then Creeper had Camille in there…”.

“So it was my fault…”, Nina croaked. Angel grabbed her hand.

“No, Nina. That’s not on you”. He kissed her knuckles. “But we need to find out how deep in with them she is. What she’s been telling them. You know I can't tell you too much about club business; but... this isn't the first time Palo has made moves on our territory”.

“She only just met them that night…”, Nina began.

“Did she though? What about that stuff in the alley? That’s what brought the Vatos to San Pad”.

“She wasn’t there, Angel…”.

“No, but someone might have told her. This isn’t a big town, word travels…”, he said. “And why are you defending her? That bitch is…”.

“Someone you used to sleep with”, Nina said. Angel looked down and didn’t reply. “You did, and you don’t have to pretend you didn’t… Look, I don’t like her, but…”.

“You’re gonna like her even less in a minute”, Angel cut her off.

Nina took a deep sip of her coffee, and lit a cigarette.

“Tell me���.

Angel got on his feet, and began pacing the floor.

“This wasn’t my idea, you gotta know that, querida”.

Nina was growing more and more anxious.

“Just… talk”, she demanded.

Angel sighed.

“We gotta split up…”.

Nina shook her head, and blinked in confusion.

“We… what?”, she snarled. “One second you’re telling me you’re not letting me go. The next…”.

“It’s not for real, though. Just like an act”, Angel said. “I need to let Daniella think we’re done”.

Nina scoffed, and stubbed her cigarette angrily.

“With your dick”, she growled, and got up to stand. Angel looked almost desperate, trying to explain himself.

“No, I just gotta let her think I want to hang with her again. Spend some time with her; get her to talk. We need to know how much she’s been sharing with the Vatos…”.

“Fuck that! I’m not gonna sit in this house, while you let her rub her infected cunt all over the back of your bike!”.

Angel cleared his throat, and looked away; seemingly very uncomfortable at meeting her eyes.

“You won’t be here… You gotta go back to the trailer”. It felt like a, explosion in Nina’s head, and white, hot rage spread through her body. “You need to go back on lockdown, so the club can protect you. And, so it looks like we’re really over”.

Nina stormed into the bedroom, trying to get away from him.

“Shove it up your ass, Angel!”, she roared. She picked up a pillow from the bed and threw it at him as he stood in the doorway. “You want me to stay at that clubhouse and watch you two… hang? Fuck you!”.

Not thinking, she kicked at a barbell. A burning, blunt pain spread through her toes, and she instantly fell to the floor; holding her foot. Angel rushed over to look at the damage.

“Querida…”.

“Don’t!”, Nina hissed, tears streaming from her eyes. “Don’t fucking queridame… Fuck that hurt…”.

Angel sighed, and scooped her into his arms, to place her on the bed; before leaving the room. He came back a moment later, with a bag of frozen peas covered in a dishtowel. She tried to push it away, but he manhandled her hands away, and put the pack on her foot. He checked her toes.

“You didn’t break anything…”, he muttered.

Nina watched him gently put the pillow she’d thrown at him under her foot, to elevate it.

“I hate you right now”, she croaked. He met her eyes with a sad expression.

“I know… I might even deserve it”, he said. “Maybe I could have said or done something; come up with a better plan… But I’m not that smart. This was the only plan that made sense when we were at the table. I don’t know how else to get Daniella to talk”.

“Whose idea was it?”, Nina sniveled. He frowned slightly.

“I don’t think…”.

“Was it Bishop?”. Angel’s silence confirmed her suspicion. “Shit… Of course, it was. And here I thought he was beginning to like me”.

Angel gently began moving her toes back and forth. It tickled a bit, but Nina didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her smile.

“He does… This is for you as well”, he said. Nina scoffed and shook her head. “We need to find out if the Vatos are coming for you, and maybe…”. He didn’t finish his sentence.

“Maybe, what?”, Nina said. He looked at her reluctantly.

“Maybe, if I keep her happy, she’ll lose interest in hurting you, and she won’t tell them who you are”.

Nina scoffed, and drew her lips back in a sneer.

“Maybe you should just take me back to Charming. Keep me out of sight”, she said.

“We have to make her think we don’t know we’ve been made, by hiding you away”, Angel said.

He scooted closer to her, and lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles.

“I hate this as much as you do. I don’t want you sleeping anywhere else than next to me… This…”. He pointed between them. “This is right. I don’t want no one else”.

Nina let him put his forehead against hers.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Angel…”, she said.

Angel pulled back and stared deep into her eyes; and seemed to make a decision.

“Te amo, cuervo… I know it’s still early, but I fucking do”. Nina gasped, and parted her lips to speak, but couldn’t find the words. “You don’t gotta say anything. But I needed you to know that”.

She wanted to reply, but couldn’t find the words to describe what she felt about him in that moment. She was hurt, and so very angry; but her heart also fluttered at his words.

In the end she sighed, and closed her eyes.

“When are you gonna…”. She couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Tonight…”, Angel said. “I just gotta make a call. Get her to the clubhouse”. Nina nodded.

“Do it… Just, please go into the kitchen. I don’t wanna hear it”. He nodded shortly, and left the room.

She went to pack her bag. The house wasn’t so big that she couldn’t hear Angel on the phone; and she clenched her fists as she listened to him speak.

“Hey, baby… Yeah, I know… Look, I was thinking you could come by the clubhouse tonight. We could catch up… Nah, that’s over… I’m telling her tonight…”. He laughed a little. The sound made Nina want to break something, but she stayed quiet. “You looked hot yesterday… Yes, really. Fuck, Dani; you got me all worked up, when you… Yeah, ok. See you then”.

He moved back through the living room, and Nina pretended to ignore him as he entered the bedroom. She had to wipe away a tear, when Angel handed her her toothbrush.

“I’m sorry”, he muttered. Without another word, he pressed his lips against hers. Knowing she would probably regret it, she didn’t reciprocate the kiss; she simply didn’t have it in her.

They drove back to the clubhouse, Nina holding on to him harder than necessary. Angel didn’t once complain.

---

As plans went, Nina knew that Bishop’s was probably the best for their situation. That didn’t change the fact that she felt the urge to slap him across his face when she saw him on the porch of the clubhouse. He looked grave, but didn’t speak.

Angel squeezed her hand after she got off his bike, but she avoided being pulled into his arms; just turned her back to him, and walked back to the trailer.

She picked the .38 out of her bag, and sat for a long time on the cot; just holding it in her hand and looking at it. She was drained emotionally and physically, and so very tired. After a while, she put it down on the table, put her inhaler next to it, and laid down; falling into an almost comatose sleep.

It was dark outside, when a gentle hand shook her awake. EZ was standing over her with a solemn expression.

“Bishop told me to… Daniella is arriving in a few”.

Nina nodded, and sat up. She rubbed her eyes, and blew out a deep breath.

“Do you know what we have to do?”, she asked. EZ nodded.

“Angel filled me in. He’s not happy about it… There’s a dent in the table at his seat in templo, from where he stuck his knife in it”. A smile ghosted his face. Nina shrugged, and got up to stand. “This is going to suck, but if you need to talk to someone…”, EZ said.

“I know… Thank you”. She tried, and failed, to smile at him; then left the trailer, to get dumped by the man who claimed her loved her.

Angel was seated by the bar, drinking a beer with Gilly. He met her eyes for a short moment, but looked down at his drink quickly. The rest of the charter was spread throughout the room, chatting to hangarounds and each other; and doing their best to avoid eye-contact with her. Only Bishop came up to her as she entered.

“Nina, I know this is…”.

“Don’t… talk to me right now”, Nina said, trying to keep her voice even. “I can’t promise I won’t attack you with a broken beer bottle if you do”.

“That fair”, Bishop said. “But when you’re ready, I’ll be here to let you slap me around… I’d prefer without the broken beer bottle”.

Nina nodded shortly, and went behind the bar. She picked up a rag, and began wiping down the counter.

A few moments later, Coco came through the back door, and nodded at Angel. Nina watched as his face fell, and he met her eyes. His were pained, probably reflecting her own; and it was all she could do to keep from throwing herself into his arms.

Nina blew out a deep breath, as the door opened, and Daniella walked in. Angel’s face immediately grew indifferent.

“Sorry, I got other plans, ma’”, he said to Nina. He turned around and looked at Daniella. “And here they are now. How are you doing, baby?”. He smirked, and went over to hug the blonde tightly. Daniella gave Nina a smug smile over Angel’s shoulder.

Nina couldn’t help but gasp at the sight.

“Angel…”, she croaked. Angel led Daniella over to the bar, and looked at Nina like she was a complete stranger.

“Yeah, we’re gonna need a… screwdriver, right?”, he said.

“With ice”, Daniella gloated. Angel chuckled, and brushed his lips against her ear.

“You’re bad…”.

Bile rose in Nina’s throat, and she couldn’t contain it anymore. She dropped the rag, and ran out the door; only making it down from the porch and over to a trashcan, before she threw up. Even when she had nothing left in her stomach, she gagged, and it felt like the muscles in her belly tried to push out her very intestines.

EZ came running out after her, and held back her hair. He rubbed circles on her back to try to get her to calm down.

“It’s ok… It’s just an act, Nina… You’ll be ok”, he whispered. The sound of laughter from inside made Nina retch one last time, before she fell to her knees. EZ crouched down next to her, and pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry…”.

Nina was heaving for breath, and was finding it hard to get any oxygen into her lungs.

“Inhaler… trailer”, she rasped.

EZ got her to her feet, and dragged her with him to the trailer. Once inside, she took a hit from her inhaler, and collapsed on the cot.

“Can I get you anything?”, EZ asked.

Nina looked up at him, and began sobbing. He sat down next to her, and pulled her into his arms; just holding her close and stroking her hair.

The last few months, years even – everything that had brought her up to this point – rushed through her head, as if what she’d just witnessed turned on a faucet of memories that had shaped her. It was overwhelming.

… Throwing up behind a dumpster, when a pair of white sneakers comes in to view. “Are you ok, darlin’?”…

… Picked up at school by the coolest guy in town, and speeding down bumpy roads; laughing and squealing in glee…

… Crying in a smelly cell, before being let out, and enveloped in Jackson’s arms. The scent of leather, cigarettes and mint chewing-gum. “You’re better than this, Nina"…

… Walking in to the clubhouse with his hands covering her eyes. “Surprise!”. Filip kissing her cheek, and handing her a lit cigarette. “Congrats on not being knocked up, luv’”. Tig nabbing the smoke from her lips. “She’s got asthma, you idiot. Get her a pack of condoms instead”…

… “You’re not my fucking dad, Jax!”. “No, but I am your brother. Dropping out is a shit idea”…

… “Hi. I’m Juice". He’s almost too cute to handle. Jackson grabs the collar of his cut, and starts dragging him away. “No". “But Jax…”. “Just no"…

… Holding Jackson tightly, as he crumbles in her arms. “He's so tiny, Nina… I don’t think he’s gonna make it”. She strokes his hair, and forces him to look at her. “Abel is your kid, Jax. If anyone can survive something like this, it's him”…

… Holding Thomas for the first time, hours after his birth. “Your daddy loves you. He’s gonna be out real soon”…

… “Thank you for being there for Tara, while I was inside”. “It’s what family does. You taught me that”…

… “This is how it has to be… I have to give my boys a shot at a life away from this”. “You can’t do this to them. To me!”. He kisses her forehead, and holds her close as she sobs, before pressing a leatherbound journal into her hands. “Give this to them when they’re old enough. I love you, little sister. So much. You gotta live for me; be happy”…

… His cut on the casket. No more tears to cry. Filip’s arm around her, unable to tell who is supporting who…

… Too much alcohol. Too many cigarettes. Too many makeout-sessions in dark corners of parties, before a strong hand belonging to Happy, Tig, Filip, or someone else pulls the guy away; and makes her get on the back of a bike. “We promised we’d take care of you, ‘luv”…

… Wendy’s excited voice over the phone. “Abel got an A on his book-report”…

… Stumbling out of the car, Gael at her heels. “You gotta follow through now”. “I don’t want to”. His ice-cold smile, as he presses her against the wall, and lets his hands wander up and down her body. It’s too much. She can’t push him away; he’s too strong. “What would Teller say, if he knew I was about to fuck his little sister?”. Her shaking hand as she manages to pull out the gun, and he takes a step back. “You’re not gonna shot me”. He rushes forward, and she pulls the trigger. It’s like a red cloud behind his head, and she gasps, dropping the gun on the ground…

… “Nina?”. Footsteps running down the alley. Filip looks down at her disheveled state, and then at the dead body on the ground; and his face drops. “She’s here”. “Shit, muffin. What happened?”. “Chibs, do you know who that is?”. “Not now, Hap’. Let’s just get her out of here. Get the gun”. One of them scoops her into their arms, she’s to rattled to notice who…

… A long ass ride south. A pair of dark and intense eyes. Butterflies in her stomach as he removes his hands from the handlebars. His warm and devouring kiss. “I want you to trust me”. Wanting and needing him. Him wanting and needing her. This is real. “Te amo, cuervo”…

Her breathing calmed, and she managed to pull out of EZ’s grasp.

“I need to be alone right now”, she croaked. The prospect nodded.

“Bishop said you need to stay on the lot”, he said.

“I know. I won’t go anywhere. I just need… quiet”.

EZ got up and went for the door.

“Breakfast tomorrow?”. She wiped her eyes, and nodded. He smiled sadly, and left the trailer; closing the door behind him.

Nina dug through her bag, and pulled out the journal. She hadn’t opened it since the night of her fight with Angel in the cage. Opening the page of her favorite and at the same time most hated paragraph, she sat back with her legs folded under her.

“I know you’ll face pain, suffering, hard choices; but you can’t let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that love you. Run to them…

There’s an old saying. That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I don’t believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things… your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole. Those are the things to hold on to when you’re broken…”.

He’d been in such pain, and at the same time so optimistic. He’d trusted her with these words; maybe even meant them as much for her, as he had for his boys. It felt like everything she’d done since the moment of his death, had been like a big fuck you to his legacy. She felt ashamed and heartbroken.

“I’m sorry, Jax…”, she whispered.

Laying back on the cot, clutching the journal in her arms, she made a decision. She had to follow through with this plan Bishop had laid out.

They were going to get the truth about Palo’s plans. Both her families would be safe. Angel loved her.

Those were the things she was going to hold on to.

---

[dirty-urie]

Jam Sesh

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

PFTW Era

Smut Oneshot

NC-17

3.3k Words

Warnings in order of appearance: real person fic, alcohol, slight insecurity, fingering, some dirty talk, penetrative sex

Author's Notes:

This is... not my best work. I don't really like anything about it, but instead of wasting any more of my time on it, I'm just publishing it and hoping that my dislike for it is just me being self-critical and not because it's a really bad fic. Normally I'm all for hyping yourself up, but meh, I'm just not feeling this one, and that's okay because it's my blog and I can do whatever I want. Hope you like it though lmao

He answers the studio door and pulls you in for a hug, which is a little awkward with the guitar on your back, but you make it work. "Y/N!" He exclaims happily.

You're a little surprised that he answered the door and didn't accidentally get caught up in his work. It's not like Brendon would purposefully stand you up; he's just a little bit of a mess sometimes. But he looks happy to see you, and that's all that matters. He motions you inside, and you follow him, collapsing on the couch next to his desk.

"Beer me, Brendon!" You request, and he does, grabbing a beer from the mini-fridge in the corner of the studio and handing you the tall silver can. You wrinkle your nose. "How successful does the band have to get for you to stop buying Coors light?"

"Hey! I like Coors light," he defends, grabbing yours and replacing it with a pretentious-looking IPA. "There you go, a fancy beer because you're my guest."

"Thank you. I'm sure it'll still taste like stale piss, but now it'll taste like fancy stale piss." You joke, taking your guitar out of its case.

He laughs and takes a sip of the beer he stole from you. "Oh shit, is that new?" He gestures to your guitar. "I haven't seen it before."

"New to me. I found it at a thrift shop for 20 bucks, but it barely looks used and look, it's a fender," you say, handing him the guitar.

"Woah, Y/N, this is a find," he says, playing a few chords.

You take your guitar back and start messing around on it yourself. Brendon makes his way over to the drums and starts playing along with you. You try not to ogle or anything, but he looks fucking good giving his all to the instrument. Almost makes you wonder how he'd be in bed... intense, totally in-control. Shit, you need to stop letting your mind wander; you're just as bad as the throngs of thirsty fans. Plus, you came here to play guitar with one of the most talented musicians you know, you shouldn't let your hormones get the better of you.

After a while, you start getting hot in the stuffy studio and stand up to take your jacket and shirt off, leaving you in a white tank top. That helps for a bit, but the heat is still getting to you. "Hey, B, I'm getting hot in here. Do you mind if we go outside?"

Ever since you took your jacket off, he's been laser-focused on the drum-kit, so you're not sure he hears you at first.

"B?" You repeat.

He stops his drumming but doesn't stand up. "Oh yeah, no problem, let me just tidy up the studio a bit. Can you bring the guitars out?"

"Yeah, sure," you step out of the studio with the guitar you brought and one of his acoustic ones, but when you step out of the studio, you notice dark clouds coming towards the house.

"I think it could rain; we probably should leave the instruments inside, just in case," you tell him, walking back into the studio and leaving the guitars on the couch. You notice that he's still sitting behind the drums, his head in his hands. "Hey, Brendon, you feeling okay?"

He waves you off with a laugh, still not really looking at you. "Yeah, yeah, I'm great. Just a little headache; I'm probably dehydrated. I'll bring out some waters with the next round of beers."

"Okay, if you say you're fine, I'll wait for you outside," you say suspiciously, leaving the studio.

You settle into the outdoor sitting area, kicking your feet up on the coffee table. Brendon comes out with two more beers and two water bottles, still looking a bit distressed.

"Sorry, I cut our jam session short," you apologize, as he sits in the chair across from you and crosses his legs.

"What? Are you kidding me? We were at it for hours," you swear he blushes after he says that, but he's probably flushed from drumming, "and even if it was cut off, I just wanna hang out with you, no matter what we're doing."

"Aww, I'm so glad we're friends. Ooo, and now that we have time to talk, you can tell me all about that tour story that you didn't want to write out in an email."

You two exchange stories for another half hour, but Brendon still looks pink even after he hasn't been drumming for a while now.

"Hey, you still look really hot. You wanna jump in the pool? I don't have a swimsuit, but I could just wear my tank top and panties and then change back into my t-shirt and shorts after," You suggest. He looks a little panicked if you interpret correctly, but you're not sure why. And he's getting redder but the second. "Brendon, you look really flushed; you should cool off."

He laughs, but you don't get the joke. "I actually think I should get into the air-conditioning, we could watch a movie? Plus, those dark clouds are getting awfully close. We'll get rained-on as soon as we hit the water." Sure enough, as soon as he says that, the sky opens up, and it starts pouring. You both dash through the rain to the house. He unlocks the door, and you both go inside, laughing.

Your top is positively soaked through, and you're shivering in the cold house. "You mind if I shower real fast? I don't want to catch a chill."

Brendon is looking at something behind your head, not meeting your eyes. "Well, um, you could, um, shower here. But wouldn't you rather be all comfy at home?"

"Would I rather drive through LA traffic in the rain in wet clothes than take a warm shower in your mansion? No. I'm gonna shower." You turn around, walking into his bedroom and then deeper into the en-suite bathroom. His shower is large and fancy, and you almost don't want to get out once you're sufficiently warm. You do though, it is a drought, after all. You wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and then rummage around his bedroom for dry clothes. He clearly needs to do laundry because his drawers are sparse, and his hamper is overflowing. Still, you manage to find a long t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to wear underneath.

Brendon walks in and freezes when he sees you. "Are you," he trails off, takes a deep breath, and then starts again, "are you wearing my underwear?" He eyes the black briefs you stole that are peeking out from under the t-shirt you also stole from him.

"Yeah," you say dismissively, putting your wet clothes in your purse.

"Y/N," he says exasperatedly.

"Mm? Something wrong?"

"Something wrong? Y/N, you're wearing my underwear!"

"So?"

"So my dick has been in them!"

You turn to look at him, rolling your eyes. "Your dick has been in your hands, too, but it's not a big deal because, like your underwear, I presume you wash them." He gives you a look that tells you he's not convinced. "Plus, you loaned me sweatpants after I ripped my shorts a couple of weeks ago, and are you honestly telling me your dick has never been in those?"

"That's different!"

"It is not." He gives you another exasperated look. "Okay, if it's that big of a deal, then I'll take them off, geez," you relent, tugging on the bottom of the underwear.

"Ahh!" He exclaims, turning his head, shielding his eyes, and waving his other arm in your general direction as if to ward you off. "Let's all keep our clothes on."

"What is wrong with you? Why are you being so squirrely? Does my gross body really freak you out that much?" You accuse.

His eyes widen. "Shit, no, I love your gross body, fuck, I mean, I love your perfectly normal body," he stutters while you stare in silence.

"You've made your point," you say, not bothering to hide the offense in your voice. You grab your bag and storm out of his bedroom.

"Y/N, wait," he calls.

You stop and whip around to face him, "You've been weird around me all day, Brendon! When I took my jacket off in the studio, your eyes were glued to your drums! When I said we should swim, you offered to watch a fucking movie instead! When my shirt was soaked through, you looked right past me at the wall! When I asked to shower in your house, you nearly kicked me out! And now you're having fucking conniptions over your underwear!" You shout. "Brendon, I know, believe me, I know, that I don't look like your other LA friends. That I'm not model-skinny or anything, but god, you could put some effort into not making me feel like a freak."

Brendon furrows his brows. "Y/N, of course, I don't think you're a freak."

"Oh really? Because Nicole has been buck-naked right in front of you, and you didn't bat an eye, but apparently, the sight of my arms without a jacket is so disgusting that you can't look at me." Tears are streaming down your face now.

His face falls, and he rushes towards you, "Y/N, sweet girl, oh my god, no, no, that's not it at all. I," his voice trembles, "like you," he says quietly.

You scrunch your face in confusion. "Brendon, of course, you like me; we're friends, but that doesn't make any of your behavior today acceptable."

"Are you really going to make me spell it out?" he asks. "I am attracted to you. Very attracted to you. And this whole day, I've just been trying not to get aroused by the sight of you because that's gross and objectifying and disrespectful, so I've been staring at the ground and thinking about Margaret Thatcher naked so I didn't have to go jerk off in the studio bathroom," he confesses.

"Oh."

"And now I've made things awkward," he rubs the back of his neck. "So, um, see you later, you can keep my clothes. I won't need them back. Probably do something creepy with them once you gave them back anyway. Er, that was a joke. I should shut up."

Your offense and then confusion morph into understanding and then shock and delight. "Yeah, you fucking doofus," you laugh. "You absolutely should shut up."

You take two steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you, and grab his chin. You lean in, and your lips meet his without any reservation. He kisses back, unsure. Then, you take more initiative, looping your arm around his back and pulling him against you.

Brendon stays tentative but enthusiastic, letting you take the lead. "Fuck. Margaret Thatcher naked, Margaret Thatcher naked," he chants against your lips.

"How's that distraction working out for you?" You ask knowingly, pressing your hips against his.

His cheeks warm, and must be blushing. "I think you can feel as well I do that it's working out poorly." He's trying to make a joke, but he's right. You can feel him hardening against you as you kiss. You finally remove your lips from his but keep yourself pressed against him. He turns his face away, blushing like you suspected, and grinning from ear-to-ear.

You run your hand down the side of his face. "For what it's worth, I'm very attracted to you too, if you didn't pick up on that already. Probably why I was so upset," you say softly, "I can leave if you want to be responsible and take this slow," you offer. "Or," you trace the hand from his face down his neck to his chest, "you could take me back to your bedroom and apologize for hurting my feelings." You fake a pout.

Brendon's eyes darken, and he grabs your hand to practically drag you into his bedroom. He slams the door behind you, pinning you against it. "Is this okay?"

"More than okay," you breathe out, and he kisses you hard. You reciprocate, not caring how sloppy and desperate you feel with your probing tongues and clashing teeth. He parts to breathe and then buries his face in your neck, nipping and kissing. You tremble, grateful for the door behind you, so you don't collapse. One of his hands is above your head, supporting himself against the door, and the other is on your hip. He plays with the waistband of the briefs you're wearing, a silent plea for permission.

"Touch me," you beg, and he doesn't feign any confusion, just slips his hand under the fabric and strokes your swollen clit with his index finger. You moan, trying to ask for more, but your vocal cords aren't working. He seems to understand, though, because he moves his hand back to gently slide his middle and ring finger inside you. Instead of thrusting them like you expect, he curls them and rubs against your g-spot. At the same time, he's still stroking your clit, now with his thumb, and kissing you. His coordination is crazy good, but it makes sense with all the instruments he plays. Your core is starting to feel warm and buzzy, and you're only half-shocked that he's coaxing an orgasm from you so soon. You don't know how you're still standing; your knees are weak, and your brain feels like it's filled with a static of lust and pleasure.

Brendon feels you tightening around his fingers and speeds up ever-so-slightly. The small part of you that's still lucid feels his dick, hard and pressing against you where your bodies meet. He isn't rutting or grinding against you, just keeping you pinned against the wall with his hips, and somehow the self-control is even hotter. He presses harder on your clit, and that does it. Your orgasm explodes through you, soaking the underwear you're wearing. Your legs turn to jelly, and you slump forward onto Brendon, who supports your dead weight easily. "That's it, come for me," he coaxes softly. You bury your face into him, feeling blissed-out and overstimulated all at once, unable to do anything but ride it out.

"Y/N, darling, can you move over to the bed with me?"

You nod, letting him support you as you take small steps to his bed in the middle of the room.

"Good girl. Can't believe this is really happening; I can't believe I get to touch you. Dreamed about you for so long," he marvels.

You crawl into his bed, settling back onto your knees. "Dreamed about you too," you admit. "God, can I take my shirt off, Brendon?"

"Pretty sure that's my shirt, actually."

You giggle. "Well then, can I take your shirt off?" You wink, regaining your composure.

He laughs. "Yes, please. In both senses, take my clothes off."

You pull off the t-shirt you're wearing and throw it on the ground, exposing your stomach and breasts to his hungry eyes. His chest rises and falls quickly as he soaks you in silently, trying to get control of himself. "I like looking at you in my underwear." His voice is gravelly.

"Well, wouldn't you rather look at me without your underwear?" you offer.

He swallows and nods. You strip completely. You know your cunt is shiny with your juices, and you're pretty sure that's what's caught his attention. Brendon takes his shirt off, and now it's your turn to stare. He unbuckles his belt and unzips his jeans before taking them and his underwear off. His leaking cock settles against his stomach. He approaches the bed and gets in next to you, rolling on his side to face you.

"Fuck me," you moan, grasping his erection and stroking.

Brendon lets out a choked sound and gropes around the nightstand for a condom. He grabs one and hands it to you to roll on him. You spread your legs in expectation, and he takes the cue to enter you. He slides in easily with how wet and ready you are for him. You don't wait for him to start thrusting; you're too impatient. Instead, you rock your hips up to meet him. He hisses, not expecting the motion, and tenses his entire body to stay in control. It feels like it takes him forever, but eventually, he starts moving, slowly dragging his cock up and down. You squeeze your legs together to better feel him, and he hisses before his thrusts quicken, already working desperately towards release.

You can practically feel the veins running across him. "You're so much thicker than I would've guessed. Fill me up so nicely," you tell him. He throbs at your words, and you suspect the praise is turning him on even more, so when his hips snap forward perfectly into your g-spot, you praise him again. "So good, B, keep this angle, please." Your suspicions are mostly confirmed when he moans, and his thrusts falter a bit as a wave of pleasure washes over him. His hand moves to stroke your nipple while he supports himself with his other arm to avoid crushing you. You move your hand between your bodies to touch your clit, but instead, decide to form your fingers in a V and feel him moving between them instead. He hisses at the new sensation, and you love affecting him with your touch.

You finally do move your other hand to rub your clit, fast and hard. There are so many different pleasure points being activated on your body that you don't know what to focus on, so you don't focus on any; just let all the feelings meld into one as you lay back and mostly let Brendon do all the work. And god is he working hard; his muscles are tense and shiny with exertion, his head is thrown back with an expression of sheer bliss on his face, and his thrusts are unrelenting. Not to mention the hand still fondling your breast. He's gorgeous, too caught up in fucking you to muster any speech. You'd feel bad that he's putting so much effort in while you just get to lie back, touch yourself, and meet his thrusts when you can if he didn't seem so deeply gratified himself. Not only is the friction around his cock divine, but he also loves getting to pleasure you. Seeing your mouth fall open, unable to keep moans from escaping. The sex is messy and unrefined, neither of you quite knowing how to drive the other crazy yet, but pulling out every trick you can think of. You feel like a gamer smashing all the buttons to see what will work.

Despite the usual LA climate, the rain outside is pouring harder, and it's adding to the intensity and frenzy you both feel. "Shit, I'm close to coming," he groans.

"Hang on for me a little longer, Brendon, please. Just five more minutes," you plead. Admittedly, you could come too, but you only get one first time with Brendon, and you don't want it to end. He cranes his neck to suck behind your ear, clearly trying to get you to come faster.

"No fair, you already came," he complains, moving your hands out of the way to rub your clit himself. You use your free hands to play with your nipples, now rock hard from the constant stimulation.

"Shit, okay, come," you allow. As you say it, the first clap of thunder booms through the house. He sighs in relief, kissing you deeply as he lets himself go, getting lost in euphoria. You love feeling his hot come gather in the condom, and it triggers your own orgasm. You shriek as your second orgasm of the day is more intense than the first, and you're pretty sure you soak his bedspread just like you soaked his underwear.

He pulls out quickly and tosses the condom before snuggling up against you. "Guess your weird, gross body is good for something after all," he mumbles against your neck, already falling asleep.

"Hm, if only we could find a good use for yours," you retort, wrapping yourself around him.

[lovelylou]

since 2020 is almost over, i thought i’d share (some of) my favorite fics that made my 2020 a lot better.

[note: not all of these fics were written/published in 2020, although most of them are, there are some that are older, but that i’ve read or re-read this year]

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tastes like summer, smiles like may by outropeace

“Is this true?” Harry grabbed the beta by the shoulders. “Bryce, where did you hear that?”

“There’s rumors going around the castle,” he smirked. “stories about his beauty and his cold attitude. They know he is an omega only because of his scent, but he has never had a heat.”

“Do you know what this means?”

Bryce smirk grew into a big smile. “He can’t give you an heir.”

A cold prince, an alpha with nothing left to lose and a kingdom with a secret.

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But It's Useless by thinlines

“Hey.”

Louis was even hallucinating now. He closed his eyes.

“Hey, you.”

He chuckled wetly, head still leaning against the door.

“Can you get out of the way? You're blocking the door.”

He exhaled sharply before slowly turning around. His eyes fixed onto muddy Nike trainers before it traveled up to impossibly short jogging shorts. The yellow color was atrocious, simply ghastly.

“What happened to being polite, Harold?”

OR Omega Louis would never guess that he would be trying to hack into Alpha Harry's Wifi. That is until everything changes when he tries to get to know his enemy.

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haunted by the ghost of you by missandrogyny

He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.

Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.

“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”

At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.

Nick Grimshaw was right.

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On the Edge by zanni_scaramouche

Figure skating is as vital to Louis’ identity as his DNA, so when his skates go missing right before the last Olympics of his career there may be a meltdown only vanilla bath salts can fix. Well, that and the stupidly charming hockey player he met on the plane.

Harry’s too old to be the wonder kid and too young to be taken seriously in the NHL. As an alternate thrown in at the last second, he fights to prove himself on the national team at the largest sporting event known to man. Or he will, once he gets off this flight and can focus on something other than the fussy figure skater and his stunningly blue eyes.

A baggage mix-up skews both of their perfectly laid plans for gold, forcing the two to work together as the clock clicks towards the minute they’re expected to shine on centre ice.

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even the best laid plans by falsegoodnight

“Anyways,” Louis stresses, narrowing his eyes, “just let me say it and then rate how terrible of an idea it is on a scale from one to ten.”

“Alright,” Zayn agrees, sitting up expectantly.

“I want to ask Harry Styles to take my virginity,” Louis blurts, holding his hands out for emphasis.

The way Zayn’s eyes bulge is almost comical. “Negative infinity,” he says, voice choked. “Negative infinity times negative infinity.”

“Technically, a negative times a negative is -”

“Really negative infinity,” Zayn corrects himself, shaking his head wildly. “Louis, what the fuck?”

-

Or, Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

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The Compulsion to Find Love by Toomanytears

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

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Mine Would Be You by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks)

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

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UN(RE)SO LVED. by daddyharrie

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

Or, BuzzFeed Unsolved AU.

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Hate to Smoke (Without Me) by louhazpride

“For fuck’s sake,” he huffs, grabbing the pillow and pulling it on top of his head in an attempt to block out the banging coming from the other side of the wall.

It’s the third time this week that his neighbour has woken him up in the middle of the night with his little ‘rendezvous.’ Honestly, he's quite sick of it. There’s only so much sex he can bear to hear in one week and he has already hit his limit. If he wanted to listen to someone having sex, he’d turn to porn.

As if the noises weren’t enough, Harry immediately becomes aware of the faint aroma of weed filling his flat.

“I’m going to murder him.”

Sleep. Harry just wants one good night of sleep. However, his neighbour has a thing for headboard-banging-against-the-wall-sex every night. After a secret set-up and a bet, Harry may finally get the sleep he so much desires.

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Three Days in February by writing_practice

“We have to get out of here, outside,” Harry whispered, turning his hand in Louis’s grip to hold on and pull them both to their feet.

“And how do we fucking do that?” Louis hissed, carefully rising and pulling Harry to his feet before Harry could do it. His gaze darted to the front then back of the arena. “None of the doors are where they’re supposed to be.”

“What?” Harry looked around again too, couldn’t see any doors, only knew that they must be there, somewhere. “How do you know?”

Confusion slid over Louis's features.

“Because we’ve been here before, Haz. It’s the O2.”

The show. It must be the first night of their tour. They were too late; they were out of time.

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

Ridiculous amounts of banter and angst, a lot of Harry and Louis alone together, a healthy dose of OT5 friendship, and one very magical weekend.

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Coming Up For Air by stylinsoncity

It's a long plane ride to LA but sitting beside Harry makes time fly.

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I'd Give Up Everything Just Ask Me To by Rearviewdreamer

They don't usually exchange Christmas gifts, but this year is different. This year, Louis knows exactly what he wants to put under the tree to make his boyfriend smile. He just doesn't know how he's going to get it.

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bruise you like a peach by falsegoodnight

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

-

Alternatively titled 'the peach fic.'

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Sometimes You Just Know by 2tiedships2

“Dear diary. Today is going to be a good day, and here’s why...”

“What are you doing?” Louis mumbled as he bit into a piece of toast.

“It’s been almost two years and today Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson reunite. Louis is very excited about…”

Louis’ chair screeched along the kitchen floor as he flew up out of his seat, quickly grabbing the paper from Niall’s grasp. As he scanned the page he found it amounted to lines of nothing.

“What is this?” Louis asked again. “We’ve discussed how Harry Styles will never be spoken of in this flat. I don’t care how long it’s been.”

Niall snatched the paper from Louis and proceeded to draw a line across the page before writing.

“Today is the day that he-who-shall-not-be-named is coming to dinner.”

Or the one where Harry and Louis don’t believe in soulmates… until they do.

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eyes off you by soldouthaz

“Just promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to keep us all safe while we’re in there,” Liam says.

Through the crack in the door, Louis can just barely make out the broad curve of Harry’s back, the slope of his curls as they tumble down all sleep-soft and lazy, and the sharp twist of his arm - all leading down to where he’s got his pointer and middle finger crossed over each other behind his back.

“I promise,” he tells Liam firmly, “I promise.”

--

or; a charlie’s angels inspired fic where louis is the brains, harry is the charm, liam is the muscle, and niall drives the getaway car - and zayn is there, too. sometimes.

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Welcome to The Rivalry by 2tiedships2

“Welcome home!” Niall yelled, clapping his hands in excitement. “Isn’t it great?”

Louis looked between Niall and the house, unsure how to respond.

“I don’t understand,” Louis finally managed to say. “Aren’t we a little old to be living so close to campus?”

Niall scoffed. “You’re only twenty-four for fuck’s sake. There is still plenty of partying left for us to do. What better place than one street over from where a car was set on fire after the Michigan game last year?”

“Is there proof of that? Did the car have Michigan plates or something? Is there a photo I can send in a DM to Wolfie?”

As if on cue, a Twitter notification popped up on Louis’ Apple watch. He had tweeted again.

Or a reverse You’ve Got Mail au inspired by the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry. Featuring duplex neighbors, (kind of) enemies to lovers, and an anonymous Twitter feud between omega Louis and alpha Harry.

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Cold Little Heart by seducedbycurls

Louis is a soft omega with an abusive past and an alpha child

A few months after getting a divorce, Louis meets Harry, an ex-military alpha wolf that offers him something -odd.

In exchange for teaching him how to cook, Harry will babysit his son, Abraham

Louis really could use the help.

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