#not to be confused with real life the life series

[diwtara]

Sanjis love life can be summed up as a series of one night stands.

Thats never the way he wanted it to be though

He dreams of love, of a real connection, of building a home.

But it seems everytime he finds someone, all they want to do is fall into bed with him, then ghost.

He would almost convince himself that hes just bad at sex, but sometimes one of his ex's will text him, make it clear theyre not looking for anything serious just another 'fun night'.

So hes not a bad lover, just unlovable

He hates himself for everytime he agrees to meet back up with one of them. Eventually, when being seen as no more than a warm body begins to wear him down, when it begins to hurt to much to continue on, he will block that persons number, vow not to fall back into such a self destructive pattern.

Until he does.

Over and over.

When he meets Luffy and his friends, well, its not the type of love Sanji has always been searching for, but with them theres a connection and its real.

And from Luffy, Sanji meets Zoro. Their friendship may be unusual, but its there. Its there with their shared looks of exasperation at Luffys antics, its there through their bickering, its there in their shared silences.

Until Zoro goes and asks him out.

Sanji is pre-emptively hurt by this. He thought they got along -in their own unique way- but now he knows Zoros just going to be another person to take a tumble in his sheets, then forget about Sanji entirely. Maybe take all their other friends with him when he leaves.

Still, Sanji says yes. As painful as it will end, as it always ends, Sanji knows he wont ever get what he longs for if he doesnt grasp at any chance hes shown.

They go on a few dates. Zoro is not the most romantic person by any standard. But they have fun, they talk, they get lost, they get to know each other.

Its the fourth or fifth date when after walking Sanji home Zoro says goodnight, makes a face, darts in to smush their lips together, says 'goodnight' again and takes off at a brisk pace. It leaves Sanji standing stunned for a good minute. When he wraps his head around their first kiss he cant help but laugh fondly over how adorable and awkward Zoro can apparently be.

Its a few more dates after that when Sanji starts to get antsy. Zoro has never pushed for more, theyve only shared a few chaste kisses, but Sanji knows. He knows either he sleeps with Zoro and he loses him. Or he doesnt sleep with him, Zoro gets bored and Sanji loses him.

So after their next date Sanji brings him home. Bring Zoro to his room.

Its intense.

Zoro watches him, studies what Sanji likes. Makes himself vulnerable too.

Sanji has never had sex like it before, cant imagine having an experience like it with anyone else.

And in the morning Zoros still there. Snoring away beside him.

Sanji knows that that doesnt have to mean anything.

He cooks breakfast and Zoro wanders into the kitchen half asleep. But Sanji knows, once Zoro has some food, once hes a little more awake, the man will leave.

But he doesnt.

They spend half the day together, Sanji spending it in a confused daze.

They go out on more dates.

Zoro holds his hand in public.

Presses a kiss to Sanjis temple and only waves off their friends teasing when he does.

Its the morning after the third time they spend a night together when Sanji finally breaks down.

The early morning light is soft through his curtains. Zoro is snoring spread out beside him, and Sanji, sitting up, starring at him, bursts into tears.

Zoro wakes up confused, tries to ask whats wrong, but Sanji is sobbing too hard to explain. Not that Sanji would even know what to say.

So Zoro wraps his arms around him, pulls Sanji in close. Rubs soothing circles on his back and tells him "I've got you. I've got you."

And thats when it hits him.

Thats when Sanji knows; Zoros planning on staying

[izatlkon]

I know this is a long post but hear me out. I think I figured out the Life member symbols.

Grian - Sun

Scott - Stars

Pearl - Moon

Martyn - Mars

Scar - Earth

Cleo - Pluto

Pluto is no longer a planet, now a dwarf planet, forgotten. This can symbolize how some people don’t count Cleo as a winner (which they should). Pluto symbolizes power, death and rebirth, but also transformation/evolution. The death and rebirth reminds me of Cleo being a zombie. And evolution could also be associated with Real life as it was done in VR.

Lizzie - Venus

Venus symbolizes affection, love, comfort, ease, harmony, and enthusiasm.

Gem - Saturn

Saturn symbolizes toughness, dedication, justice, endurance and a whole bunch of other meanings(but still around the same theme). Saturn is also decribed as morose, also being sad and cold. I see Saturn as Gem because of her sense of justice, in the way she acts towards Pearl after what happened in Secret life. I also think the other meanings of Saturn also can represent Gem.

Mumbo - Mercury

Mercury can be associated with wit, cleverness, reasoning, adaptability, and education.

Etho - Uranus

Uranus represents uniqueness, ingenuity, unconventional ideas, eccentricity, creative expression, and originality.

Bigb - Neptune

Neptune symbolizes dreams, undoing the status quo, tenderness, illusion, confusion, vagueness, and mysticism.

Jimmy - Comet

Comets symbolize unexpected twists, death, disaster, renewal/shedding of old skin, personal growth, a journey from darkness to light, and rebirth. Jimmy winning a life series would certainly be an unexpected twist.

Tango - Meteor

Meteors have a lot of meanings such as luck, change, and prosperity. I mostly see Tango as a Meteor because of his often depicted flame hair.

Bdubs - Asteroid

Asteroids are described as a minor planet, neither a true planet nor an identified comet. Asteroids come in many unusual shapes. Something about all of this just fits as Bdubs to me.

Ren - Jupiter

Jupiter is often described as the king of the planets. Jupiter is associated with expansion, wealth, adventure, the law, and fortune.

Joel - Blackhole

Blackholes can mean fierceness, intimidation, intensity, destruction, and power.  

Skizz - Northern lights

Aurora Borealis, the Norther lights, can symbolize hope, exciting changes, beauty, and death. They can also be seen as a bridge between heaven and earth, this can be connected to the way Skizz is drawn as an angel.

Impulse - Constellation

Since Impulse is a Pisces I'm just going to use that (there might be a constellation that fits better) because there's not really any meanings for constellations as a whole. Pisces can symbolize balancing two polarities, adaptability, and intuitiveness.  

Extra Notes

Mars' polar caps and Jupiter's great red spot could be connected to RED WINTER IS COMING

I know the Northern Lights are not a celestial body, but I literally could not find anything else for Skizz.

I originally thought Joel fit as Jupiter, but I think Ren works so much better.

If you want to lean into the car with Joel but also fit in with the space theme, maybe Mars' rover could work.

I didn't really know what else to do for Impulse.

Satellites could be us the viewers.

A lot of these had so many meanings, so I just put the ones I thought were the best.

If you have any feedback or suggestions for any of these that might work better, please leave a comment. I spent way to long on this.

(Also this is my first tumblr post 😖)

[wangxianficrecs]

Rewind 2024 - Part IV

WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2024

The final part of our favourite stories published in 2024. Thank you everyone for your support this year and most of all, thank you to all the dedicated fanfic authors this fandom has - you're really the heart of it all.

~*~

Thief's kiss

by danegen (@danegen)

E, 6k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: "This time, I’ll run, and you can chase me.” Lan Zhan’s eyelashes flutter in delicate, adorable confusion. “When I catch you . . .” “If you catch me.” Wei Wuxian wags a finger at him. “If you catch me, you can do whatever you want.” That makes . . . something happen on Lan Zhan’s face. Something that makes Wei Wuxian shiver. Wei Wuxian accidentally tells Lan Wangji about their strange game of chase that night at the inn. His solution to this predicament? Obviously, they need to play again!

~*~

cookin' up a storm, piece of cake

by livinginaworldofnoise (@gh0st-0f-luke)

G, 9k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: yiling_patriarch: first time making a cake with alcohol! it’s still in the oven but it smells great so far ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: There is no alcohol listed in the ingredients for this recipe. yiling_patriarch: i didn’t have any oranges or orange juice so i replaced those with a can of orange sparkling margarita! tasted super weird [★★☆☆☆] ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: Are you being deliberately obtuse? OR: life is tough for baker!lwj when online troll!wwx won't stop commenting on his recipe blog

~*~

In the end

by apathyinreverie (@apathyinreverie)

T, 4k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Ying does not die. He falls. But he has fallen before. Death devours him. But the dead have devoured him before. He falls and he breaks and still he lives. Or something like it, at least. (An AU where WWX does not die. Well, mostly.)

~*~

Looked so alive, turns out i'm not real

by KatAnni (@kat-anni)

M, 36k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Part of MDZS Big Bang 2024

Summary: "Nothing leaves the Burial Mounds alive." Lan Wangji goes on a side mission night hunt with Wei Wuxian during the Sunshot Campaign, and finds out just how true that statement is. Inquiry rings through the room, and Wei Wuxian answers. This of course, has consequences. For the MDZS Big Bang 2024, Collab with @sweetlittlevampire

~*~

Devil Flute Upon Graves, Wei Ying

by cloudyrobinwrites (jwyoomi) (@chirpycloudyrobin)

M, WIP, Series, 53k, Wangxian & Hualian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Wei Wuxian received the news of his first death a little bit too late.

~*~

🔒 baby fever

by Mamoonde (@mamoonde)

T, WIP, 4k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Lan Zhan wakes to a pounding on his door in the middle of the night. For a moment, he assumes Wei Ying must’ve come over after all. Instead, it is Jiang Cheng, soaked and covered in mud, and holding a child— A child who looks up sheepishly, with the same light grey eyes as Wei Ying. “I told him we didn’t need to bother you, but he insisted you would want to help.” Jiang Cheng says. or: yet another wwx age regression fic. but modern cultivation au.

~*~

had a marvelous time ruining everything

by livinginaworldofnoise (@gh0st-0f-luke)

G, 8k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: “Great news, though—well, actually, it may depend how you define ‘great.’” Wei Wuxian folds himself into a cross-legged position and makes a sweeping gesture with one arm toward the closet, from which Lan Wangji can now hear a strange rattling noise. “While you were gone I managed to catch another one!” “Another . . . cat?” Lan Wangji pulls the closet door open wider and stares at the cage he finds there, inside of which a small black cat is clinging to the ceiling bars with all the desperation of a cornered wild animal. “That’s Volcano!” Wei Wuxian says by way of explanation. “She’s a little spicy.” OR: 5 times wangxian's feral kittens get in the way of lan wangji proposing + 1 time they help

~*~

🔒 sweet decadence

by breaththrou

M, WIP, 27k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Lan Xichen breathed in sharply, a crazed laugh escaping him. He lifted his gaze to meet his eyes, a look of despair etched onto the hard lines of his face. "My brother... my brother has always been our mother's child. For that, he could not live. He is gone. I could not find him, and I could not have brought him home. I can only hope now that Wangji is at rest," he said quietly, the wind whipping the greying locks of his hair around his face. Wei Wuxian stared at him, horrified. Lan Xichen looked away as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. "I have only ever wished happiness for my brother, but I fear I have instead brought him death."

~*~

Catharsis

by Starfell123

T, 9k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: “Look, I know I’m probably foolish. I know that the chances of this not being a business-meeting are slim to none, but I need to know for sure. If Uncle Jiang wants to apologize, I’ll give him a chance to do so. If not, I want to tell him where to stick it in person.” Thirteen years after being thrown out by the Jiangs, Jiang Fengmian contacts Wei Wuxian and asks to meet. Wei Wuxian goes in the hopes of reconciling with his adopted family, but the circumstances he finds himself in wont allow that to happen. What will he do when his former guardian tries to arrange a marriage for him that will benefit the Jiang-sect?

~*~

To Love the God of Death

by Amber_Horizon

E, WIP, 27k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: Jin Guangyao, God of the Sky, sees Mo Xuanyu's interest as an opportunity to gain control. Just before Mo Xuanyu is to be appointed the new God of the Underworld, he performs a self sacrificing ritual to escape his fate. Wei Wuxian returns from the dead after 13 years. He wakes in a new body, surrounded by evil talismans, and perhaps worst of all, face-to-face with Lan Xichen, God of the Sea.

~*~

Tides

by Anonymous

G, 1k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: When their routine is interrupted, Wei Ying gets himself and Lan Zhan ready for bed.

~*~

咏红尘 | an ode to red dust

by auberjing (@wrecklwj)

E, 39k, Wangxian | Mojo's Rec to be posted soon!

Part of Bottomji Big Bang 2024

Summary: A-Fu apologises for intruding. Shall I bring you a woman?” Lan Wangji recoils. The question lands like a physical blow: violent, distasteful, and absurd. “No.” “Then,” A-Fu murmurs. “If you wish, I could… relieve you. As a servant, it is my duty.” Or: Crown prince Lan Wangji is taken hostage by Wen Ruohan, who has taken the throne after deposing the incumbent emperor. While imprisoned, Lan Wangji is assigned a handsome eunuch servant named A-Fu. Outwardly, A-Fu is mild and attentive, but his whispered hints at rebellion appear to be the start of something momentous and revelatory…

~*~

redemption, repentance

by stiltonbasket (@stiltonbasket)

G, 3k, Xuanli | Kay's Rec

Summary: Five months after the Sunshot Campaign, Jin Zixuan travels to Lotus Pier to ask for Jiang Yanli's hand in marriage.

~*~

Watch me ignite it

by tawaen

T, 10k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: The news spreads quickly across the cultivation world – Wen Ruohan is dead and his murderer declared himself the new leader of the Qishan Wen sect. Wei Wuxian is described as a demon, as a brutal warlord, as a threat to the very existence of the cultivation world. He is also, unfortunately, the most attractive person Lan Wangji has ever met.

~*~

🔒 counting the hours back to you

by ribena

E, 17k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec

Summary: It has been three months, two days, eleven hours, thirteen minutes, and fifteen seconds since Wei Ying broke up with him, which is why he is the last person Lan Zhan expects to be knocking on his door at one in the morning. “Wei Ying,” he says, the name already strange and unfamiliar on his tongue, “what are you doing here?” “The trains are cancelled,” Wei Ying says miserably, and then looks up at Lan Zhan properly for the first time, if only for a split second. There’s nothing but utter defeat in his eyes. He wouldn’t be here, of course, unless all other avenues of rescue have been exhausted, because it has been three months, two days, eleven – “I have to get home. It’s my sister’s wedding.”

~*~

A Dragon's Tail

by IamTheLemonLord (@iamthelemonlord)

E, 36k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec to be posted soon!

Part of TopXian RBB

Summary: While visiting the Cloud Recesses for the first time, Wei Wuxian's tail intertwines with Lan Wangji's, a boy who wants nothing to do with him. Now engaged, the two have until they reach adulthood to get to know each other and decide if a future together is something they want. Things would be easier if horny voices in their head would stop yelling at them at inappropriate times.

~*~

Practical Considerations

by teawater & the_anthropologist

E, 96k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec to be posted soon!

Summary: After the Sunshot Campaign Wei Wuxian is fooling around in Lotus Pier, and Jiang Cheng decides that he'd be more useful to the sect if he was to enter a diplomatic marriage. Especially since Lan Wangji seems so keen on dragging him away to Gusu. Only Wei Wuxian doesn't expect any good to come from it...

~*~

Where No Flesh Decks The Bone

by deliciousblizzardshark (@deliciousblizzardshark)

E, 20k, Wangxian | Mojo's Rec

Summary: When Wei Ying falls into the Burial Mounds, he’s rescued not by the Yin Iron, but by a strange, twisted creature who heals his body and slips into his mind. Now ridden by Lan Zhan, a bodiless creature ignorant of human customs and brimming with the desire for revenge against the cultivators who threw his mother into the Burial Mounds, Wei Ying has the power to take down the Wen sect for good– if he and the creature can learn to work together. (Or the Venom-inspired canon-divergence Untamed fic no one asked for.)

~*~

Push It

by phonciblepbone

E, 7k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec to be posted soon!

Summary: "Wei Ying. Good morning. I assumed you had the same sex education as I had, and thus did not need to be informed of the existence of the prostate." "Not the existence, Lan Zhan, of course I knew they existed! I mean that it's…" Wei Ying trails off, looking at Lan Zhan imploringly. "Like that."

~*~

Comfortable in your skin

by Dooiney_Oie (@lexicals)

T, 17k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec to be posted soon!

Summary: "Lan Zhan?" he stuttered, his own voice too deep, looking into a face that should be his and which was now flushed pink with anger. "What did you do?" was the answering reply. Despite the sheer fury being directed his way, Wei Wuxian started to laugh. "Me?" he asked, feeling a touch hysterical, not least because he was being scolded by himself, "You were the one who broke it!" - That nightmare scenario where you end up stuck in the body of the one guy who hates(?) you.

~*~

💙 I'll Take Such Great Care of You

by CheekyBrunette

G, 49k, Wangxian | Kay's Rec to be posted soon!

Summary: Sizhui has grown up with a single father. Now, he learns what it is like to have a mom.

~*~

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[achilles-rage]

achilles-rage’s twelve days of christmas

day eleven: wrapped in red (ft. eddie diaz)

summary: with the chaotic weeks leading up to christmas meaning that you and eddie have barely had a moment alone, you decide to surprise him with an early christmas gift.

word count: 2.7k

series masterlist

a/n: sorry this is late, i’ve been having trouble writing smut lately. i hope this is okay!! and also i can’t believe this is the second last day of twelve days!! i don’t want it to end!! at least i still have one more day, and possibly a part two to my rocker secret santa fic (depending on how i feel). anyway, enjoy<33

warnings: smut, hint at predator/prey kink(??), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

With the holidays coming up, life with Eddie has been extremely chaotic. If you’re not anxiously looking for gifts that Christopher has asked for – that every other kid in LA wants too, apparently – then you’re shopping for gifts for your friends and family, or planning Christmas parties, or attending Christmas parties. Honestly, you’re barely even sure that you or Eddie has had a moment to yourself since December 1st.

This also means that you’ve barely gotten a moment with Eddie for weeks, and you’re starting to get a little bit restless. Other than the occasional touches when you’re both just waking up; barely conscious enough to open your eyes and hands wandering aimlessly and with no real intentions, you can’t remember the last time Eddie has properly fucked you.

So, you came up with an idea: wrap yourself up and surprise him with some festive lingerie. It’s, admittedly, a little silly, but you’re sure that Eddie will appreciate it. At the very least, he’ll get a good laugh out of it.

You already have the perfect wrapping paper; a bright red, sparkly design with small white snowflakes, so all you have to do is cut it and tape it together. You decide to only make a little skirt out of it, instead picking out a beautiful green lingerie set with a small red bow on the bra, and one on the panties. You even add a gift tag reading “To: Eddie, From: Santa”

Before Eddie gets home, you get ready; putting on your set and your skirt, and then you decide at the last minute to put two big red Christmas bows on your bra, right where the straps meet the cups on the front.

You’re extremely proud of your skirt; you’d found a tutorial online for a pleated wrapping paper skirt, and it turned out perfectly. Now, all you have to do is wait for Eddie to get home.

Christopher is at Buck’s for the night, probably baking cookies and building gingerbread houses if you know them at all, so you have your boyfriend all to yourself.

When you hear the front door open and shut, you smile to yourself, then step out of the hallway and into Eddie’s sight. He’s in the middle of greeting you when his eyes land on you, and the words die on his lips as he takes you in.

“Why are you wearing wrapping paper?” he asks after a moment, brow raised as he focuses on the skirt. He tries extremely hard to not focus on your tits, otherwise, he might rip your skirt to shreds in a desperate attempt to see you naked underneath him, and he’s not sure what the skirt is for.

“Because I’m your present tonight. Do you- do you not like it?” you ask sheepishly, feeling your cheeks heat up as you look down at your outfit. You thought it was silly, sure, but you didn’t think he’d hate it. Instead of being met with a smile, he just looks confused, and it’s making your stomach churn and your hands fidget at your sides.

“No, no. I fucking love it, just wasn’t sure what it was for.” he reassures you, quickly closing the distance between you two and grabbing one of your hands. He gives you a smile, and you smile back, nodding slowly.

He raises your hand over your head and urges you to do a spin, and as you turn, he tries to look at every inch of exposed skin. He takes in your soft belly, and your chest sitting perfectly in your lace bra, and your bare legs, and his mouth waters.

When you’re turned to face him again, he pulls you toward him, moving the hand he’s holding to drape over his shoulder and then placing both of his hands on your waist. It’s now that you can see the lust in his eyes, and your smile widens as you feel your whole body get hot. Having his undivided attention after so long feels so fucking good.

“I missed having you like this, mi amor. I’m gonna make sure you don’t leave the bedroom until tomorrow morning. If you can even walk tomorrow morning.” he purrs, and you giggle softly, rolling your eyes.

“You like it that much?” you ask, eyes darting across his face so close to you as his eyes travel down your body again. He lets out a growl at the sight of your tits sitting so perfectly for him, and his next words come out low and raspy, which has your squeezing your legs together.

“I fucking love it. I feel like a little kid right now; all I want to do is rip the wrapping off my present.” You bring your hand up to run through the hair on the back of his head, which makes him finally look back up into your eyes.

“So do it.” you tell him, raising a challenging brow. He smirks, and lets his hands run over the paper and down to your hips.

He lets out a quiet chuckle when he reads the gift tag you’ve attached to the waist of your skirt, and then in one quick motion, he rips the paper off of you.

You’re left in just your matching bra and panties, and he groans when he sees the tiny red bow sitting on the waistband of your panties. Like a present. All for him.

His hands are gripping your hips hard as he looks down at your body, a grip threatening to leave bruises as he drinks in all your dips and curves. He can’t believe you did this all for him. If you were to ask him what he wanted for Christmas, he’d say that this is it. Just you.

“Bedroom. Now.” he growls, and without another word, you turn on your heel, practically vibrating in excitement. He smacks your ass as soon as you turn, and you squeal at the impact, looking over your shoulder at him as you keep walking.

He has a predatory look in his eyes as he watches you, and when he begins to stalk after you, eyes narrowed and chest puffed out, you let out something between a giggle and a squeal. You begin to run to the bedroom, your heart racing in your chest as you begin to feel like you’re being hunted.

He runs after you, footsteps heavy as they hit the hardwood, and when you both get to his room, he grabs your hips and pulls you back against his chest.

“Uh uh, why are you trying to get away? You’re my gft, remember? I get to play with you however I want.” he rasps in your ear, causing shivers to shoot down your spine. You can feel his hard length pressing against your back, and you let out a soft whimper, slowly moving your ass back against him.

He lets out a hiss as his grip gets tighter against your hips, then turns you around and pushes you onto the bed in one quick movement.

You bounce gently as you hit the mattress, and when you look up at him again, you back up on the bed, watching him step closer and drink in your plush figure. He pulls his shirt off quickly, and then his pants and boxers, and when he’s completely naked, he crawls onto the bed and towards you.

He meets your lips hungrily, his hips grinding against you and letting you feel the hardness of his cock. Your hands go to his sides as you kiss him with equal fervour, letting your tongues meet each other as you feel your brain go fuzzy. He’s barely started and you already feel so overwhelmed with his touch, and his attention.

He moves his kisses down to your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes, and when he reaches the top of your bra, he leans back and looks down at your dazed expression.

“Don’t know if I want to keep this on or rip it off of you.” he tells you in a low tone, letting his eyes move back down to your lace covered chest as he licks his lips.

“Well, what are you supposed to do with the wrapping on a gift?” you tease softly, quirking a brow with a small smirk.

He chuckles, then shrugs his shoulders as he looks back up into your eyes.

“Good point. Just wanna see you in it for a little while longer.” he mumbles. He presses one more hot kiss to your lips, then leans back on his knees and moves his hands up your legs until he gets to the edge of your panties.

He pulls them to the side quickly, then grabs the base of his cock and brings the tip down to slide between your folds. You both let out soft moans, and you spread your legs wider, letting him move freely as he slides the head of his cock along your clit.

You’re both desperate to feel all of each other, to get the sweet release you’ve been waiting weeks for, but Eddie is more patient than you, it seems. He wants to see you cum before he actually fucks you.

You sit up on your elbows as you watch him in a daze, biting your lip as he taps his cock against your dripping pussy.

It’s hard to resist the urge to bury himself to the hilt, but he holds back for now, enjoying your soft mewls and whimpers as he drags his cock through your folds in achingly slow movements.

“Eds, please.” you whine softly after a while, your eyes pleading as you look up at him. He chuckles softly, then pushes himself into you, just barely. He lets himself rock against you gently, hand firmly gripping the base of his cock as he lets his tip enter your desperate cunt.

He switches between this, and tapping the head of his cock against your clit, and pretty soon, you’re both close to the edge.

Your moans have gotten breathier, and your hands are gripping the sheets beside you as you feel that ball forming in your lower belly. And Eddie is slowly losing the ability to hold back; his cock moving deeper and deeper each time his tip slips between your glistening folds.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You’re so pretty when you cum.” he rasps, and you nod quickly, letting out a soft whimper.

He chuckles lowly and pulls his cock away completely, instead using his hand to fist his cock as his other hand comes down to circle two fingers around your clit. You throw your head back as you near the edge, but when you hear him tut softly, you bring your head back up so he can meet your eyes.

“Look at me, baby. Watch me when you cum.” he tells you sternly, and in a few more seconds, you’re both falling over the edge with loud moans. He covers your cunt in his release, groaning at the sight of his seed painting your slick folds and dripping down onto the sheets below you.

He barely gives you enough time to come down from your high before he’s flipping you over on the bed. His hands move to your ass, massaging at the flesh before he brings a hand back and spanks you hard. You whimper, letting your body lurch forward in response to the surprise, and then he spanks you again, just to hear the harsh sound of skin meeting skin.

“Gorgeous, mi amor. And all mine.” he murmurs, then rips your panties off you and tosses them to the side.

You gasp at the sound of fabric ripping, and try to look over your shoulder at him with narrowed eyes.

“Eddie, I just bought those!” you argue, although you’re not really mad. They were expensive, but you can’t deny that the action has desire pooling in your belly.

“I’ll replace them.” is all he says before he reaches down to your hips and brings you up onto your knees, face now pushed into the mattress as he spreads your ass cheeks and takes in the sight of your pulsing cunt.

You shiver when you feel the head of his cock teasing your folds again, but it doesn’t last long; he’s desperate to feel you wrapped around him completely. When he pushes into you, he buries himself to the hilt, letting his hips meet yours as he grips at your flesh hard.

You moan into the sheets, body moving forward at the force behind his actions, and when he pulls out almost completely just to bully into you again, you moan louder.

His hips pick up their pace, and as they snaps against yours, flesh slapping against flesh, his hands roam your body, squeezing and massaging at your ass and your thighs.

“Taking me so well, mi amor. Fuck-” he groans, tip kissing your cervix as he relishes in the way you squeeze his cock so perfectly.

He watches the way your ass and thighs jiggle with each thrust, and he has to tilt his head back and close his eyes for a moment, focusing on not cumming too soon.

You moan loudly under him, eyes clouded with pure bliss as he fucks into you roughly, hands eager to touch every inch of skin. When you reach your hand back in a desperate attempt to feel him, he grabs your hand and brings it behind your back, then moves your other one to the same spot and holds your wrists there with one large hand.

“You like that, baby, huh?” he asks, and all you can do is nod, whimpering as his hips meet yours harshly.

When you begin to push your ass back towards him, he growls, then releases your wrists and brings both hands around to your front and squeezes your soft tummy between his fingers. His thrusts momentarily stop as his front presses against your back, but when he pulls you up with him, back still pressed against him, his hips continue their unrelenting pace.

One hand goes back to your hip, helping you move back to meet his thrusts while the other cups one of your tits and squeezes it. He rolls your nipple between his fingers as he feels it bounce with each thrust of his cock, and he can feel himself beginning to twitch inside of you as he gets close to the edge.

“You wanna cum with me, baby? Cum on my cock?” he murmurs in your ear.

“Yes, please. Please, Eds.” you whine, and he smirks, moving his hips harder, if at all possible.

“Cum with me, baby. Let me feel you.” he tells you sternly, and in no time you’re clenching around him as you cum.

When he feels the way your pussy squeezes his cock as you let go with a loud whimper, he lets go, filling you to the brim as he keeps himself buried deep inside you.

You feel him paint your walls with his cum, and you lean your head back against his shoulder in pure bliss, letting your eyes flutter shut as you ride out your high.

He slowly pulls out with a groan, and lets his hands travel up and down your sides as you lean back against him.

“God, I’ve missed this.” he tells you quietly, feeling himself come down from his high, your skin under his fingertips helping to ground him and forget all about the stress of the holidays.

“I love you.” you whisper, trying to catch your breath as you feel your pulsing cunt clenching around nothing. You can feel the mess between your thighs, but you hardly care.

If you know Eddie at all, he’s not done with you yet, anyway.

“I love you, mi amor.” he whispers back, then kisses the side of your neck before helping you lay back down on the bed.

“That was the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” he teases softly as he crawls over you.

You giggle as he begins to press kisses across your face, not leaving an inch of skin unkissed.

“I’m glad.”

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[meercraft]

[ultimateinferno]

I know the Zelda Timeline is hardly the most popular thing out there, but for me, it's always been endlessly fascinating. Everything is the same. It's all different. It's linear. It's cyclical. It branches and twists and comes back together. It disregards its predecessors. It can't let them go. It thrashes against change. It can't stay the same.

Every game is a reboot.

But they're also not.

I think the story of The Legend of Zelda is the epitome of narrative doublethink. In order to truly buy in, you must accept the simultaneous facets that none of the games matter to one another and that they all do. They're the same story. They're absolutely not.

The thing about the timeline, to me, by being both codified and nebulous, is what ties this cow tools of a narrative together. It's a puzzle without a box. It's total fucking nonsense, but so is reality. Things won't ever truly make sense, but what if they did. What if we took it from a new angle and... hmm. No. That won't work

Or maybe...

Ultimately, the Zelda Timeline is quite simply a farcical creative writing prompt. A dare. A challenge. To take these pieces not designed to fit together and give them order. Do the writers themselves care? Absolutely not. I do, though. So fuck it.

[willyhoos]

Q: WHAT TOPS THE FOOD CHAIN? A: HUMANS

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Scott is literally allies, is friends/friendly with or has been allies with everyone on Wild Life but Grian's team (who are now 2/3 dead)

Even if his whole team wasn't allied with a group he still made an effort to be their friend

So Scott's Friendship Fate law still applies no matter who wins because this time LITERALLY ALL HIS ENMIES ARE DIED

MUMBO IS GONE. SKIZZ IS GONE. MR. MCBETRAY-A-BITCH MARTYN IS GONE. GRIAN IS ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE GIRL-

[fei-scribbles]

so is this season canon for lore reasons or-

(very rough sketches lol)

[yusakiiiii]

Hermit Life:

Chapter 3: Possession

I just released the third chapter of my fanfic series Hermit Life. Where strange goings on on the Hermitcraft server lead to them having to evacuate to a new server, but they accidentally end up in a new Life Series!

Go check it out if you’re interested!

[fierysnowy]

Spoilers for Real life smp

Love that Cleo won Real Life. And since she did all winners who have won, their soulmate have also won. I just think thats neat.

[daz4i]

making an analog horror reference collection for my boyfriend and decided to look up more that i don't know well and it's so funny to run into lists that call the monument mythos one of the scariest series online. what the FUCK are you talking about. it's more satire than it is horror. it's goofy silly funny. and sad sometimes. it doesn't even qualify as horror by most standards afaik?????

[the-magpie-archives]

MAG 4 - 'Page Turner' - The odd attraction of antiques.

This statement has a lot of significance to me as an antique book collector. Being able to relate so clearly to that experience goes a long way to making the whole thing more unnerving. A collector of any object will be able to relate to the burning, jittering urge to acquire an object for your collection, but there's something else with antiques, books in particular.

The knowledge that not only does the object matter now, but it's mattered for decades, centuries, even. Its touched the souls of many through the years, and has reached through time and holds its hand out to grasp yours. A thing- an object, yet it outlived its creators and owners; a subtle defiance of the natural order, or so it feels.

But a book? It's all this and more. A tome that's educated its readers and is imbued with information and knowledge that someone was so desperate to share that they went to the effort of publication. A story or a theme that was so important an individual asked for it to outlive them. It's pages marked with fingerprints, coffee stains, annotations, even blood- all of them out of the control of whoever left them.

And that is just a book. Though the idea of 'just a book' does make me chuckle, the idea of a book with real, tangible, undeniable power does not. 'From the library of Jurgen Leitner', a mark of terror and rightly so. Some people are of the nature that means they're drawn to books, but a book with the power to draw in those that aren't? That's dangerous. Even outside of the awful power those books posses, a book in the hands of the wrong person can be a terrible weapon.

But can you imagine the feeling of having real power, control, otherworldly means of action. It's addictive, as proven by many other statements, it's hard to let go of if you end up with the right one. If the power fits the soul of the hands it ends up in then can it ever be released?

Even though the book wasn't supposed to be for Dominic Swayne he had a connection to it, it affected him. Micheal Crew is proof that if the book fits, it can do all sorts of things to you.

This, to me, poses an interesting question. If it was you, and if the book really spoke to you, however evil, would you be able to hand it over? To watch its destruction?

I don't think I would.

[gideonisms]

Sometimes I wish I would like put on an outfit or be in a scenario or hear a pronoun and think to myself oh yeah THAT'S the right one like it seems like other people are feeling this sense of self I just don't have. I kind of just feel out of place no matter where I am or what I wear or how I present myself, not really in a bad way, just like, I'm a tourist here (everywhere)

[dread-knight]

I get it’s like a major plot point but I never understood like. The logic behind the springlock suits in Fnaf btw…. If you wanted an employee to be able to wear a suit just…. Make a non animatronic mascot costume? Even with limited animatronics in the suit’s external eyes and eyebrows for expression and whatnot! Just… it seems very odd a choice to me to like. Make people wear an animatronic suit especially since it’s known in-universe how dangerous they are. I said it to friends but the defunctland episode for Freddy fazbears pizzeria would go crazy

[arts-and-drafts]

I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”

so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing

-

Scar

Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought

Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words

Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.

His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)

Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)

Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people

Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)

His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is

Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments

That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (“I will murder them.”)

References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)

Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”

(More under the cut!)

Grian

Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)

Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)

Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)

Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)

Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot

Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)

Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”

Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired

Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“

This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it

Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)

Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)

Mumbo

The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)

Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks

Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing

Gets very distracted with the smallest things

Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)

His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking

A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless

Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building

Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)

Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)

Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)

Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”

Joel

Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”

He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)

Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))

His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)

Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name

His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes

This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes

Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height

Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)

Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)

His most often used insult is “idiot”

When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)

Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”

Bdubs

Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host

Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds

Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”

Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)

Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms

Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)

Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)

THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard

Pauses whatever he’s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)

Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens

Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone

Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”

Number one exclamation is “HEY!”