#not the simpsons predictions i wanted to see

[justgotpunched]

well this hits different in the year of our lord 2024

[mrfartpowered]

you don’t hate Howard, you hate fatphobic tropes

Here at Mr Fart Powered Dot Com, I’m a long-time hater of the “fat best friend” trope and a long-time lover of jerkass characters, so I think I’m uniquely qualified to comment on this LOL

The biggest critiques I see of Howard are as follows: he’s gross, he’s stupid, he’s selfish, he’s lazy. Below the cut, I deconstruct each of these four criticisms not as faults of Howard, but faults of the writing, largely as a result of fatphobia.

These are all traits associated with the fat idiot trope, popularized by Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin. Think about any other character who possess all of the above characteristics. Far more often than not, they’re a fat character. Plenty of non-fat characters possess any of those traits individually — selfishness, stupidity, laziness, and grossness are not exclusive to fat characters. Nor do they inherently make a character 'bad,' irredeemable, or otherwise unlikeable! But all too often, especially in dated media, we see this flimsy, weak writing apply to the fat villain...or the fat comic relief...or the fat best friend.

Howard falls victim to these ugly, annoying 'fat guy' tropes whenever the writing is in need of a cheap laugh, or when they need to make Randy look extra good. Howard does have unique, interesting traits, but they are painfully underutilized in exchange for role fulfillment as the comic relief.

Stupidity

Contrary to what the show wants us to believe, Howard is not a complete idiot. His intelligence may not be of the academic variety (and even this is debatable), but I would argue he is more clever than Randy. Of the two of them, Howard's got more common sense. Randy misinterprets almost every lesson the Nomicon gives him, while H quickly understands each riddle he gets the chance to know about. (See “a ninja’s choice must be chosen by his own choosing,” “don’t go in someone else’s house,” “when facing an unfamiliar foe, seek an unlikely ally.��)

You could argue against this point in Shloomp! There It Is, where he literally gets to see the lesson as it is presented in the nomicon and doesn’t get it. But I’d argue that this was  purposeful mischaracterization in order to further the plot, a point which will unfortunately recur in this essay. The writers care more about Howard as a tool than as a character, but instead of using the capabilities they build within him, they default to stereotypes.

Where conventional academics are concerned, we have one concrete example of his abilities: Howard is incredible at chess. It’s the iconic nerd game; it requires strategy, careful thinking, and the ability to predict your opponent’s moves. Who cares that he doesn't know the pieces' names? Who cares that he doesn’t abide by typical strategies? He can kick artificially-intelligent ass at the game, not to mention follow someone else's plays the way most people follow a football game.

And he's got street smarts that save Randy's ass on multiple occasions. He's more sociable, a better liar, and a quick thinker in stressful situations. Much of this particular point is pulled from @cunningweiner ‘s brain, who pointed out that Howard is really well-received by crowds (Heidi’s MeCast, the talent show, the Tummynator). Another interesting instance of this is Howard’s time as the Ninja — both the fake monster drill ninja, and the actual Ninja. He may not have accomplished his duties as a hero, but the onlookers Absolutely Ate Up his crowd work. He’s not the most physically willing guy around, but he knows how to appeal to an audience. His major flaw in remaining a well-liked public figure is that his ego gets real damn big, real damn fast. But he’s 15! If you blame a teenager for having empathy and esteem issues, I don’t know what to tell you.

Despite his emotional immaturity, Howard is wise beyond his years as a businessman. Before we move forward, I need to tell you: look at this section purely from a business standpoint. You have to forget morals, you have to forget standards, this is Disney XD meta and we are analyzing a man named Weiner, okay?

Okay. Howard embarks on a total of three business endeavors throughout this show, and each one is highly successful. Ninja Agent, weapon reseller, and McFist-o-plex manager. He embodied “work smarter, not harder” every time. Being an agent takes social skill and smooth talking, and clearly he appealed to a wide range of clients (not to mention earned their trust! What would you say if someone called you up and said “yeah, I manage Superman. Want him to appear in a commercial for you?”). Being a manager requires delegation skills and good memory. Reselling Ninja weapons is honestly just genius and I can’t believe he’s the first guy to do it.

Everyone around Howard, and Big H himself, views him as a dumbass. But time and time again, the episodes show us his mental capabilities! Imagine how much fun the writers could’ve had if they’d leaned on a lazy genius trope instead of a fat idiot.

Grossness

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t think of a single thin character who relies on gross-out humor. Take, for example, Total Drama, a franchise with a bodily diverse cast and a heavy emphasis on gross-out humor. I mean, there’s an entire episode in the original season where every single character pukes onscreen. TD overall utilizes irreverent humor, but while grossness is a major player, it is not the only source of comedy.

And then you’ve got Owen, the only fat character in the original cast. His whole shtick is being fat, greedy, and nasty. Other characters will fart and burp and overeat — all things that Owen does frequently — but they also have other gags. Maybe they’re bitchy, or they’re geeky, or they’re a literal convict. Owen does not enjoy the luxury of character depth. He is only good for grossing out the audience. (Side tangent: Owen has notably made me laugh out loud a handful of times over the course of the four seasons he featured in. But guess what! Every single one of those laughs was begotten from a rare moment when, instead of farting or burping or eating something he shouldn’t, the writers stepped outside the ‘Owen zone’ and gave him a joke unrelated to his fatness. Fatphobic humor is truly a plague.)

I know I’m being a bit heavy-handed, but I want to emphasize how similar that is to RC9GN! Randy does schnasty shit too sometimes, but he gets to be funny in other ways. Grossness is Howard’s primary mode of comedy. During my first watch-through of the show, I remember being outraged at Howard’s tendency to eat Randy’s food, which, of course, was followed by digestion noises or farts. I was too angry to write down which episodes, but I counted four separate instances where they used that exact convention specifically to get Randy angry at Howard, thus catalyzing the episode’s storyline. (At some point I will have to go back and fact-check that, but we’re 900 words deep at this point and this has been in my drafts for over a month, so we move forward for now okay!!)

 We do get to see flashes of other humor from Howard, especially into Season 2! His cleverness and apathy make for hilarious setups. But even these instances are undercut by something foul. An example that comes to mind is Fear Factor, a perfectly fine episode — one that I love quite a lot — except for the very last gag. Really? Howard gets to be normal-funny the entire episode, until the last minute? The idea that his biggest fear is running out of food literally only works because he is fat. Had this joke been given to any other character, it probably wouldn’t have even made it to storyboards. Even worse, if Howard had not been fat, this joke would never have been conceptualized in the first place. It is almost as if the writers are trying to hit a quota of gross-out jokes for Howard. At a certain point, my anger morphed to pure disappointment. That’s how disheartening it is to see.

Selfishness

Okay, Howard Weinerman is selfish. I'll give you that. But just because he's self-centered does not make him a bad person. May I bring to mind Gumball Watterson, Marcy Wu, Louise Belcher? All are textbook examples of selfish characters, and frequently act in their own best interest, but are ultimately good people. I mention them as proof that characters can have negative defining traits without sacrificing the audience’s sympathy. 

Here's where I really get frustrated with RC9GN’s writing... They want to portray Howard as a jerk with a heart of gold — such as in Debbie Meddle — but they always undercut his few selfless moments with a gross-out gag, or a rude offhand comment, usually directed at Randy. Sometimes, Randy will reciprocate, in which case I give it a pass. There, the grossness or general assholery showcases their friendship, instead of putting Howard down for a stale laugh. 

But like I said, that’s the ‘sometimes.’ The ‘often’ is every time we see him almost embody the ‘heart of gold’ part of his attempted archetype, only to be thrown out the window for a lame gag. A specific example is in “Bro Money Bro Problems,” where Howard has cash to spare for once. He immediately opts to spend it on Randy!….until Randy shloomps into the nomicon, then comes out to find that Howard spent everything he had on the Food Hole’s dinner menu. Sure, this was used to set the rest of the episode in motion. They run out of money, but they need more, so they go out and sell ninja weapons. But here’s the thing: for the rest of the episode, Howard spends his money on both him and Randy, rather than just himself, effectively making that dinner menu joke inconsistent with his characterization.

“Well how else would they set the episode in motion?” They could spend it all on arcade games. Or they spend it all at the boardwalk both times. OR, they are just excitable teenagers who realize, hey, this shit is lucrative! Let’s go get rich! Boom. Fixed your episode, fixed your Howard, fixed your fatphobia.

Laziness

Over and over again, the show tries to tell us that Howard is a lazy piece of shit. Other characters regard him as such, and honestly, so does Howard himself. But I would argue that he is no lazier than your average teenager — not to mention, no lazier than Randy! The difference is that for Howard, the writers intertwine his laziness with his alleged stupidity. They try to convince the audience that Howard is too stupid to care what’s going on.

However, this trait is unique from the other three, because I think this one manages to give him depth. Or at least, in my heart of hearts, it has the potential to do so. This characteristic lends to Howard’s most clever jokes, I think, because ultimately:

Howard is capable, but apathetic.

From the earliest episodes, it is established that he aims for minimum effort, maximum benefit. There’s the bit where Randy asks Howard to come up with the plan for once, and they both laugh at the idea of Howard doing the heavy lifting. Or even all the way into “Mort-al Kombat,” he says people are ‘really handing him the answers today’ when Randy puts in the work to get Howard ungrounded.

But just because Howard prefers not to do any work, doesn’t mean he won’t! And when he does put in effort, the results show that he is damn good at what he does. His time as Le Beret more than proves this point: from his ability to work under the radar, to the plans he forms, to the knowledge he has about Mort’s job & McFist Industries that allows him to get all the cool equipment he uses. We also see his skills and capability in “Debbie Meddle” (the ninja dummy), “Viva El Nomicon” (learning Spanish quickly), “Secret Stache” (commitment to the bit), “The Ninja Identity/Supremacy,” and more.

He very much operates under the mindset of ‘work smarter, not harder.’ He’ll get the job done if he has to. He’ll excel at the job if it benefits him. This is a really interesting character mechanic that would have been so much fun to explore. Like I said so many times above, though, the writers most often choose to undercut his abilities in favor of comedic expense.

Conclusion

Howard, in comparison to Randy, is obviously a lot harder to root for. Overall, Randy is a more conventional character with conventional flaws. Like most duos in media, the sidekick juxtaposes the hero — I would even argue that Howard, in some ways, is Randy in reverse. Randy is highly moral, but still has a lot of learning to do skill-wise; Howard is already extremely capable, but also very amoral. Because of this, the narrative places Randy at a higher value than Howard — which, yknow, fair enough! He is the protag, and that’s a great setup for a protagonist. But simply by virtue of being fat, Howard is not treated with the same level of respect as other sidekick/best friend characters.

For all his quirks and flaws, Howard is not a supremely unique character. His basic core aligns with so many other characters. But because the writers lean on his fatness, instead of leaning into his potential and his complexities, it is much harder to root for him — and it strips him of originality. I love this show with all my heart, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t mind the way it treated Howard. He had so much potential, even as the show was airing, and I will forever be upset that the crew squandered it on fatphobic tropes.

[faerlygraceful]

New predictions for 8x01-03

Warning that this is just speculation. I don’t have anything more than an active imagination.

The first episode is all about the bees. We probably aren’t going to see much off the other members of the fire fam except for the active members of the 118, going from 🐝 emergency to 🐝 emergency. Gerrard is going to be a douche, focusing on Buck who’s very much “You’re not my dad!”ing, much to the consternation to the other members of the 118, especially Eddie who wants Buck to “suck it up,” and follow orders. At some point Gerr-ass is going to bench Buck. Towards the end of the episode we’re going to get a cliffhanger of Athena, calling a Mayday, and the other voice on the radio is one Tommy Kinard.

The second episode is backed up a little bit. We discover what Bobby is doing, Athena and Bobby are looking for a house, and then Athena gets a call to assist in a prisoner transport. But bees got into the cock pit and of course Athena is the only one to be able to fix it. With the aid of firefighter pilot extraordinaire, Tommy Kinard, in her ear; the insubordinate Evan “Buck” Buckley disobeying direct orders, and Bobby Nash stealing “Hotshots” property, they rally enough houses to be able to handle the inevitable MCE that’s going to happen.

The third episode is the cumulation of all the events. There is a ton of units there at the site of the emergency landing of this airplane, the 118 being there because they were summoned by Simpson, which makes Gerrard look bad. The emergency wraps up and the firefighters return to their stations, Buck going back with the 118. Gerrard wastes no time tearing into Buck, being witnessed by Simpson, who had showed up to commend him for his quick thinking. Gerrard is so worked up that he manages to give himself a heart attack. Everyone goes home, Buck going, not to the loft, but to Tommy’s. In an echo of s5, Buck turns on the TV to see Tommy on the screen, being lauded as a hero for the events of the day. He says, “Hi honey,” to the screen, and then an answering “Hi,” comes from the next room.

[funkylilworm]

Deadpool and Bill Cipher 🎩⚔️

So I binged watched Dead Pool 1 ,Deadpool 2, and 3: Deadpool & Wolverine (I bootlegged it sense Marvel is a zionist and because Ryan Reynolds had his wedding on a slave plantation) and I was thinking .

What would a film between Deadpool and Bill Cipher would be like and how most likely how high of a possibility it would be of something like that would happen sense Gravity Falls is a Disney XD series and how Disney owns Marvel sense Deadpool is a part of Marvel .

Even though how much Disney has been flopping recently and their current reputation (which is why I'd never directly give them their money, bootleg is your friend) ,an interaction like that between Deadpool and Bill would actually be pretty fucking funny thanks to their personalities and would be a good opportunity sense Deadpool & Wolverine and The Book of Bill has been doing so good for it's audience recently .

Another reason I see this as possible is also because Bill was briefly seen in a Simpsons episode and because Disney loves it's crossovers, like I know Bill is perfectly gone, I'm just making a prediction/ sharing an idea!

Here's a potentially good plot idea:

Deadpool is contracted and/or requested by an anonymous client that they want Deadpool to go and kill an enemy of his that has been revived by a cult member and give Deadpool the things he needs to kill this thing (said thing being Bill Cipher) ,and even tells him how he needs a few more people on board to help! Despite not really being a merc anymore, he's still curious and a little concerned on the things he was given and even told to do, he goes through with it [funny hijinks ensues] !!!

[psychics4unet]

20 Simpsons Psychic Predictions That Came True 🚀

Hey there, fellow Simpsons fans! 🎉 If you’ve been following The Simpsons, you know that this iconic show isn’t just about laughs and donuts (though we love those too). It’s also about some eerily accurate predictions that have left us all scratching our heads. 🤔 How did this cartoon get so many things right about the future? Grab a seat, grab a donut 🍩, and let’s dive into some of the wildest psychic predictions from The Simpsons that actually came true! 🚀

🌟🔮✨ Curious about what the future holds for you? Just like The Simpsons predicted some mind-blowing events, you too can uncover what’s in store for your life. Click the link below for your own personal psychic reading and get insights that might just amaze you:

1. Donald Trump’s Presidency 🇺🇸

Season 11, Episode 17 (“Bart to the Future”)

In this episode from the year 2000, Lisa becomes the president and mentions that they inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. Fast forward to 2016, and Donald Trump becomes the 45th president of the United States. What the what?! 😲

2. Smartwatches ⌚

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

During a future vision of Lisa’s wedding, her fiancé uses a watch to make a phone call. This was in 1995, way before smartwatches became a thing in the 2010s. Talk about being ahead of the curve! 📱

3. Disney Buys 20th Century Fox 🏰🦊

Season 10, Episode 5 (“When You Dish Upon a Star”)

In 1998, there’s a scene showing the 20th Century Fox sign with a subtitle “A Division of Walt Disney Co.” In 2019, Disney actually bought 21st Century Fox. Coincidence? I think not! 🎬

4. Video Chatting 💻

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

Again in Lisa’s Wedding, we see video calls being made. This was years before Skype, FaceTime, or Zoom became part of our daily lives. The Simpsons were definitely on to something here! 🖥️

5. The Shard in London 🏙️

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

In the same episode (wow, it’s like a crystal ball!), we see a skyline that includes a skyscraper eerily similar to The Shard, which wasn’t built until 2012. 👀

6. Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl Performance 🎤

Season 23, Episode 22 (“Lisa Goes Gaga”)

In 2012, The Simpsons showed Lady Gaga performing at a concert, suspended in the air. Fast forward to 2017, and Gaga did exactly that at the Super Bowl halftime show. Fly, Gaga, fly! 🎇

7. Nobel Prize Winner 🏅

Season 22, Episode 1 (“Elementary School Musical”)

Milhouse predicted that Bengt Holmström would win the Nobel Prize in Economics. And guess what? Holmström did win it in 2016. Way to go, Milhouse! 📊

8. Ebola Outbreak 🌍

Season 9, Episode 3 (“Lisa’s Sax”)

In this 1997 episode, Marge suggests that Bart read a book titled “Curious George and the Ebola Virus.” Years later, in 2014, there was a significant Ebola outbreak. Chills! 😬

9. Siegfried and Roy Tiger Attack 🐅

Season 5, Episode 10 (“$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)”)

The show depicted a white tiger attacking entertainers similar to Siegfried and Roy. Tragically, in 2003, Roy was indeed attacked by one of their white tigers during a performance. 😥

10. U.S. Wins Olympic Gold in Curling 🥌

Season 21, Episode 12 (“Boy Meets Curl”)

Homer and Marge compete in curling and win a gold medal. In real life, the U.S. men’s team won the gold medal in curling at the 2018 Winter Olympics. Sweep that, skeptics! 🥇

But wait, there’s more! Let’s keep this prediction train rolling with some honorable mentions that didn’t make the top 10 but are still pretty mind-blowing. 🚂💨

11. Horse Meat Scandal 🐴

Season 5, Episode 19 (“Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”)

Lunchlady Doris used “assorted horse parts” in the cafeteria food. In 2013, a scandal erupted in Europe when horse meat was found in various beef products.

12. FIFA Corruption Scandal ⚽

Season 25, Episode 16 (“You Don’t Have to Live Like a Referee”)

The episode features a storyline involving corruption in the World Football Federation. In 2015, several FIFA officials were arrested amid a corruption investigation.

13. Farmville 🚜

Season 9, Episode 12 (“Bart Carny”)

In this 1998 episode, kids are seen excitedly playing a yard work simulator game. Fast forward to the 2000s, and Farmville became a massive hit on Facebook.

14. Faulty Voting Machines 🗳️

Season 20, Episode 4 (“Treehouse of Horror XIX”)

Homer tries to vote for Obama in the 2008 election, but the machine keeps changing his vote to McCain. In 2012, there were real reports of voting machines changing votes.

15. Beats by Dre 🎧

Season 8, Episode 14 (“The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show”)

In a scene from 1997, we see a character wearing what looks like modern-day Beats by Dre headphones, years before they existed.

16. Mutant Tomatoes 🍅

Season 11, Episode 5 (“E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)”)

Homer grows mutant tomatoes after using nuclear power on his crops. In real life, scientists created genetically modified tomatoes that glow in the dark.

17. NSA Surveillance 🕵️

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The movie depicted the NSA spying on citizens. In 2013, Edward Snowden revealed that the NSA was indeed conducting mass surveillance on American citizens.

18. Shard Building in London 🏙️

Season 6, Episode 19 (“Lisa’s Wedding”)

We see a tall building in the London skyline that resembles The Shard, which was completed in 2012.

19. Michelangelo’s David Censorship 🗿

Season 2, Episode 9 (“Itchy & Scratchy & Marge”)

The episode shows Springfieldians protesting against Michelangelo’s David being exhibited. In 2016, Russian campaigners did try to cover the statue.

20. Autocorrect Fail 📱

Season 6, Episode 8 (“Lisa on Ice”)

Dolph writes a memo that says “Beat up Martin” which gets autocorrected to “Eat up Martha.” Apple’s iPhone autocorrect has had many such hilarious fails.

It’s wild, right? How does a cartoon get so many things right? Well, it’s probably a mix of clever writing, sharp observation, and maybe a bit of that Springfield magic. ✨

And it's not just us hardcore fans who are intrigued. Thanks to the internet, more and more people are discovering the spooky accuracy of The Simpsons' predictions. Social media platforms are buzzing with theories and speculations. Reddit threads are filled with fans dissecting episodes, and YouTube is packed with videos analyzing every prediction. It's like a virtual treasure hunt where every frame might hold a secret clue to our future! 🔮

Some folks even believe that the writers have a time machine or some sort of psychic ability. While that’s probably a stretch, it’s fun to think about! One thing’s for sure – The Simpsons will keep surprising us with their uncanny knack for predicting the future.

Whether you’re a longtime fan or just curious about the show’s “psychic” tendencies, it’s clear that The Simpsons is more than just a TV show. It’s a pop culture phenomenon that continues to influence and amuse us, while also making us think twice about what might come next. So, next time you’re watching, pay close attention – you might just be getting a sneak peek into the future! 🕵️‍♂️✨

Stay curious, my friends! And remember, the truth is out there… or maybe just in the next episode of The Simpsons. 🌟🚀

[transmurderbug]

🦚 Weekly Tag Wednesday! 🦚

On an actual Wednesday this time.

Thank you for tagging me Kat @mybrainismelted, Nosho @creepkinginc, Evie @energievie, Ice @spookygingerr, Jess @jrooc and

Pie @gallapiech 🥰

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name: Sky. Sometimes.

where in the world is carmen sandiego? (or you): Carmen is in Antarctica. She's apparently a penguin. And I'm under a pine tree.

ok, so this week we are going to snoop into your google search. type in each phrase and tell us what the first suggestion is that google gives you!

What is the best way to… avoid getting spyware on a machine? The "machine" part really drives this home.

Where can I… watch Hazbin Hotel? Are you asking me? Which version? Now I'll be humming all night, thanks.

How old is… Hungary? No need to google this one, it's pretty easy to remember, if you wanna look at the founding of the state. My memory is not what it used to be, but this one is burnt into my brain, I'm pretty sure. It's about to be 1024 years old. Why am I answering these questions though? 🤨 I do love history, to be fair.

How long does it take… to learn Hungarian? What does Google take me for? I want to see the algorithms behind these predictions. A long time, I'm pretty sure.

How many… days between dates? What dates?? Someone help me out, I'm getting confused.

Who set the record for… the fastest time to reach one billion views on YouTube? What is happening.

When did… the Queen die? Which one.

What does it feel like to… get shot. I've been told a scraped wound is worse, that's all I know. Again, why am I answering these?

Can you… run it? Run what...?

When you… say nothing at all. This is a Ronan Keating song. Who I only heard of when he was a guest artist at a symphonic concert I went to. Now you all know him too.

Why do… men have nipples? What kind of a question is this? Why does any mammal have nipples! Biology, dear Google.

Is there a way… to save Karlach.? Ehm. Spoiler alert?

How old do you have to be… to go to college? However old you are when you finish high school. Don't give up on your dreams!

Where do the… Simpsons live? Why would I want to know this?

What is the best time to… post on TikTok? Google wants both Nosho and me to become influencers, this is just another sign.

And to finish us off… What comes up when you type in Shameless? szereplők. I love the language switch. I do however know who the characters are, thank you.

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Well, this was a wild ride. Never in my life have I googled or even thought about googling these things. I either know the answer or I don't even think about the subject. Good job, Google predictions! Job failed successfully! This was pretty fun though. (Just to soften the blow, the Karlach question probably comes from previous BG3 searches. The rest? What even.)

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Tagging, because I'm on time! Yay! Voluntary, as always, if you want to skip, here, have these blueberries: 🫐

@ian-galagher, @transmickey @stocious @suzy-queued @blue-disco-lights @deathclassic @spacerockwriting, @ms-moonlight-inn, @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos, @krysmiss @look-i-love-u @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @heymrspatel @michellemisfit @sweetbee78 @grumble-fish @metalheadmickey @rayrayor @crossmydna @thisdivorce @callivich @gardenerian @lupeloto @francesrose3

@palepinkgoat @heymacy @lee-ow @roryonic @thepupperino

@doshiart and anyone else I'm probably forgetting!

[herbariumua]

So, I have recently read Simpsons Comics Issue 30, where Burns made about a hundred clones of Smithers and replaced every worker on the powerplant with him.

I liked it so much, that I want to make a post about it, there would be no deep analysis, just things that I especially adore in this story.

And, of course, spoilers?..

So, the short plot is: workers of the powerplant are demanding to add 5 cents to their salary - and Mr Burns wouldn't be himself if he just agreed to it. So he created a really complicated scheme to make a hundred clones of Smithers to replace every worker with him. And it was working well...

..until it blows up right in his face.

But at the end of the day, Smithers actually saved the whole situation and Mr Burns's life (of course he did).

Also, look how adorkable Waylon looks in his cute Hawaiian shirt that matches Monty's costume by colors.

So, yes, the story plot about clones going crazy and trying to murder everyone was pretty predictable, but no one even tried to hide it. The best part of the comics - how totally gay is it.

Really, I feel like it is one of the gayest burnsmithers story I have read so far, and, surprisely, it comes from the Burns's side.

Like, look at this man here, he said himself that he's "never been happier" while literally surrounded by Smithers's caring and affection towards him.

Or how he is walking among Smithers's clones, because he is like the way they are so happy and excited to see him. In this story I feel like he knows very well about Waylon's feelings toward him - and he not only enjoys it, but also encourages it in every way.

(Original Smithers being kinda jealous (?) and suspicious toward his own clones is hilarious. This man knows himself too well).

I mean, he gave them a "reward" to serve him 24/7. This old fox definitely knows that Smithers would actually die to have the opportunity to be around him 24/7. It might sound like a funny joke to the reader, but inside the story, it IS an actual reward.

("there can't be enough of me to go around" - oh my god, Monty, we all know what you are)

Also how he started to miss Smitherses the moment they ran away (even if they were trying to cut him into pieces).

Just admit you are in love with him and get married already!

Also a cute moment that I noticed - while he is surrounded by absolutely identical clones, he still wants to the actual Smithers to take care of his needs. How sweet.

But of course, there are also a ton of gay moments from Smithers's side. I mean, where Smithers' clones went a little bit crazy about Burns...

...and I like how the original one is literally his guard dog.

The ending is very sweet and satisfying too. And I adore the last picture, where Waylon's joke made Monty laugh. These two is an excellent couple for sure.

And who else headcanon that all of these Waylon's clones will find their happiness with Monty's clones, who escaped during "The Princess Guide"? Let my boys be happy, please, they totally deserve it.

PS Also I am so happy to see that Burns actually enjoys Smithers's company so much, he is totally ok with surrounding himself only with his clones and keeping them around to serve him 24/7.

In the newest episodes of the show we barely see them interacting this friendly as they used to be, it almost feels like Burns is constantly annoyed with his presence, which is so uncanon for him.

[noys-boise]

the Caroline in the city references in family guy truly fuck me up. buckle the fuck up because I'm going to Overanalyze

so in family guy season 1 episode 6 (YES THAT EARLY ON) there's a joke where peter griffin says he once pretended to be gay by watching Caroline in the city. it then actually cuts to him watching Caroline in the city (well like he was watching what seemed like a pretty accurate recreation of the vibes of the citc intro) and then. well that's it

but of course I'm too autistic to not think about this because i have MANY questions

1. legit where did the idea that watching citc is a gay thing come from. I'm not asking this in a "whoa joking about tv shows making you gay is problematic" way because I'm aware family guy is full of jokes like that and worse. I'm asking this legitimately. because on one hand i guess you could argue that having a female main character= unmasculine=gay but that brings me to my second question

2) out of all possible tv shows to do this joke with... why Caroline in the city. and I'll have more to say on this later but i will say if you look at the time period of this. this episode of family guy aired on may 9th, 1999. the last episode of Caroline in the city aired on April 26th, 1999. i don't know how long the production of a family guy episode is but I'm going to assume Caroline in the city was still running when they wrote this episode but it was very much towards the end. but here's the thing. i spend a lot of time analyzing the cultural impact of citc and I've come to the conclusion that it was kinda relevant during season 1 but not many people watched it by season 4 (which led to that torturous non ending from early cancellation) and i legitimately don't know why this is the show they chose. like if we're going for a gay thing, Will and Grace was already airing at this time, i think more people knew about that than Caroline in the city. and there was a Caroline in the city fandom online but from what I've seen it was veeery predominantly straight. THAT BEING SAID

3) every Caroline in the city fan i see lately including myself is queer. like he couldn't have known that unless he also has future vision but considering they say Simpsons predicted everything in the future the possibility that they got all that but family guy instead just predicted a gay Caroline in the city fandom is SO funny to me

4) but back on the topic, the only other explanation i have is that this is another one of those annoyingly tasteless digs at Malcolm Gets for allegedly not being able to play a straight character convincingly (untrue) but for it to be any of these we'd have to assume that Seth MacFarlane, the creator of family guy has actually seen enough of Caroline in the city to know these things which. surely can't be the case

or... can it?

3) this is not the last time Caroline in the city was referenced in a Seth MacFarlane show. okay this is the really insane part to me. in american dad there's an episode where the characters find a "secret ending" to Caroline in the city where Caroline kills everyone and takes over the city or whatever. it's dumb, it makes me uncomfortable and stuff but there's also two very important things to note about this:

a) they got Lea Thompson to voice Caroline for like one line in this episode. i legitimately want to know what that conversation sounded like. "hey Lea could you do just one line for this episode? it's basically your character from Caroline in the city turning evil and killing everyone she loves in a secret ending to the show, are you interested?" this one isn't related to any of my conspiracy theories the thought is just funny to me

b) more importantly they like. legitimately drew them. like it was recognizably Caroline, Richard, Annie and Del. and like they showed them for like two seconds. that's a lot of attention to detail for two seconds. and again this is not the first time there was a Caroline in the city reference in a Seth MacFarlane show but SURELY this is the last one right?

WRONG!!

4) THERE'S ANOTHER REFERENCE IN AMERICAN DAD! there's a character who says something about how you should respect your elders because they lived through 4 seasons of Caroline in the city whatever that is supposed to mean! that's the THIRD TIME!

5) let's return to my second point for a second. i think i skimmed over one of the most glarring logical issue with the original family guy joke. peter claimed he pretended to be gay by watching Caroline in the city, but in the cutaway gag, he is fully alone in his own living room, watching Caroline in the city. (side note, it is a really, really good recreation of the citc intro which adds to my Seth MacFarlane has seen some Caroline in the city theory because why else would he pay attention to this detail) but.... how is that pretending? who was he pretending to? did he memorize every plot point to later recount it to pretend to be a fan? at that point he's just straight up a fan isn't he? he could've just told people he watched Caroline in the city if he wanted to pretend to be gay! why did he even pretend to be gay that's never explained and it's so specific...

now that I mentioned it it's very specific and familiar.....

6) Caroline in the city season 1 episode 3 Caroline and the gay art show, Richard pretends to be gay to sell his art AND in season 3 episode 20 Caroline and the little white lies, Del and Charlie pretend to be gay for insurance reasons. coincidence? well probably but what if it's NOT? is Seth MacFarlane trying to tell us he's secretly a Caroline in the city fan?

7) let's look at it in a meta way. Seth MacFarlane is the voice of peter griffin. in a way they're one and the same, aren't they? peter griffin wasn't really pretending to be gay, because he was at home watching citc on his own as i already mentioned it. is it just a guilty pleasure for him? is Seth MacFarlane too ashamed to admit he enjoys Caroline in the city so he has to communicate it through jokes in his tv shows?

8) or there's the other interpretation that makes me sound like the gaylor truthers but hear me out. if Seth Rudesky thinks watching Caroline in the city makes you gay but he's also signalling that he probably watched at least some of it, is he just trying to come out to us?

i once thought about turning this into a youtube video essay but I'm not sure anyone would watch it. that being said, i might still do it, why not?

[ceruleanwhore]

Since I’ve seen so much Silvio hate since his route release, I wanted to take a minute to talk about why all 3 of the visiting foreign princes make me uncomfortable because I believe in equality. Please keep in mind that I am on a break from the ikepri app rn so I have not actually played Silvio’s route, though I did read a translation of it on here previously, but I’m going to try to avoid using stuff from that.

Starting with the man of the hour, first to be released, I’d sum up my feelings about his character as “eat the rich — literally not sexually ya numpty.” He is the embodiment of everything I’ve ever hated about capitalism and the 1% and genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, it would delight me to watch him die because of how he represents that. His jangling, the way he throws his money around (the fact he has, what, 10 billion for Rio to waste on a gem at auction in Rio’s route), and, most importantly, the complete lack of any apparent morality or humanity. He demands everyone respect him because of that money (respect as in deference that comes with authority) while he throws around his bullshit bootstrap rhetoric and refuses to treat anyone at all with respect (respect as in the basic human decency kind). There’s also a seriously sadistic streak in him and so it’s not enough to be a billionaire prince, he also has to take this random woman as his indentured servant and constantly upset her on purpose and demean her to punish her for someone else’s accident.

Next up is Gilbert who, to me, is just plain annoying more than anything else. He and Chev never really scared me or anything with all the violence since it’s super predictable with them, so that doesn’t really bother me, per se, but the way he’s a pushy little dick in social situations pisses me off and if I were Emma I’d be dead because I would’ve yelled at him within like 5 seconds of meeting him. The hell of it’s that he’s supposed to be this master manipulator but he doesn’t seem to even be all that good at manipulation since his is so ham-fisted, he’s just a pushy asshole. My thing with both him and Silvio is that I fucking hate money and I fucking hate authority and I believe that no one, including myself, should have it the way they do, and it makes me immensely angry to watch them use those things to abuse others.

Now, I saved Keith for last because he’s actually the worst of the three in my opinion and he genuinely scares the shit out of me, and not because he happens to have DID, but because of what sort of people main!Keith and alter!Keith are. 

WARNING! MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND TRUE CRIME

Main!Keith just strikes me as being the kind of guy who would beat his gf and eventually kill her and, every time I see him, he reminds me of the Yellow Dress assembly my high school did about domestic abuse. He seems like the shy, insecure nerd who, in the early days, would worship the ground his gf walks on and just be so grateful that she decided to give him a chance, etc., until that turns into possessive jealousy over time, which then would feed into him isolating her, turning more violent, and then maybe killing her and hiding her body in the woods. Genuinely, the last event story I read with Keith made me INTENSELY uncomfortable from the very beginning because he had these vibes and I don’t know if I’ll be able to read his story because, in my head, Emma will already be dead, basically.

As for alter!Keith, he seems like the kind of guy who would literally be a serial killer, just going off the event stuff I’ve read, plus the second prologue and other act II routes. I could genuinely see him killing with no real rhyme or reason, unlike Chev and Gilbert who are so completely predictable. If main!Keith gives me true crime vibes in a OJ Simpson way, alter!Keith is more like a David Parker-Ray sort of true crime, and they both scare the living shit out of me. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is seeing so many people in the fandom talk about how much they love Keith and how nice and cute they think he is when, to me, he’s one of the scariest fictional characters I’ve ever encountered, mainly because I know he’s supposed to be a romantic lead in spite of everything I just said. Silvio and Gilbert would annoy me to death but Keith would do arts and crafts with my skin and hide my chopped-up body in the woods.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS^2 re: p534-576

Woof (pun not intended), it's a doozy, this one.

Jade as doting mother was hilariously embarassing. But it seems her reasons to have a child in the first place stem from her intense loneliness, exacerbated by her celebrity status.

Meanwhile, Rose's motivation to carry the child... There's two ways to interpret it. The least complimentary is that she's just as manipulative as Dirk, using her powers to 'okay' a disgraceful decision because she'll be forgiven in the end anyway. I hope she actually wanted to see if she could do something her powers couldn't predict the outcome of. It would mean she's aware of the Candy timeline's nature of decreasing truthfulness, relevance and necessity and is trying to do something about it. The fact that she's so dismissive about Earth C's people, as is Jade, could point in that direction.

In fact, it would seem that, for all that the Candy timeline appeared to be a 'saccharine end state' for most of the kids, they do seem to be aware that even beyond the totalitarian government, there's something else fundamentally wrong with the timeline?

Meanwhlie, Yiffany not talking is so funny when you think about it. Even while we're being her, she's just too cool to lower herself to such base characterizational devices.

Would be funny if she's treated as the teen version of hypothetical older Maggie Simpson of Beyond Canon. Implied to be witty & talkative but never shown. :p

What else? So, uh, Tavros & Yiffany are acquainted, and Yiffy probably got locked up/kept hidden in Tavros' house when she was away from boarding school. Like a perverse Rapunzel. Making Tavros not just her biological uncle but also foster brother, oh jeez. So, uh, it might also mean her enmity with Gamzee's corpse stemmed from actual, in-person interactions with the clown.

Meenah's probably calling to let Rose & Kanaya know that Jane's coming to the meteor too.

So, the Point. I'm assuming it's to do with the device behind the curtain, beneath the meteor.

Spitballing & exchanging theories with Blaperile, I'm assuming it's a way for the Candy people to travel into the Meat timeline.

I wouldn't like it to be one way, for one thing because some people might not want to leave. For another, what would The Influencers even be able to do?

It could be a Sburb copy for the new kids to boot a session with & interact with the Deltritus gang?

Would be funny to have a sort of Hivebent situation going on with 2 separate teams turning out to be entering the same session.

If it's a giant version of the Hiveswap device, maybe the Candy & Meat timeline meteors get swapped (a literal swapping of hives).

Then maybe Candy Earth C with the Meat meteor turns out to be Alternate Calliope's home timeline, and the reverse for Caliborn/Lord English?

It would seem Jade was carrying around a stuffed corpse in her sylladex! Of course Adult Dave (now Davebot) is the most likely person. It could lead to Davebot exploding if his corpse is ever prototyped! But then we'd have a new version of Davesprite...

If it were Candy Dirk, we'd get Dirksprite: aka Arquiusprite minus Equius minus autoresponder.

With how Rose's mom got touched on in the argument, what if Jade had stuffed Mom and Dad? As Blaperile pointed out to me, while John & Jade had a funeral for them pre-retcon, we don't know that they did post-retcon, do we?

No chance for a Johnsprite beyond Terezi prototyping Meat John, though! Would've been funny to have Johnsprite^2 or *2. But unless Jade took John's original body (from his quest bed) from LOWAS before it exploded, we won't have that. As she never found the bodies for John & Davesprite in her timeline.

(Yeah I'm just grasping at straws to get a POV & further fleshing out for Dad, can't help it.)

As for the newspost, turns out I missed the one from Feb 1st. Wow, Vast Error has gotten the Hussie stamp of approval and now falls under the HICU protection and can monetize on their work!

I haven't read it yet, but I know from experience how engaging fanventures can be, so good for them!

And oh geez, so much unvaulted commentary to read on Patreon. :B

[thepowerisyouth]

Eh mental health is annoying. Buying & cooking cheap low-FODMAP diet is annoying. My best top note for now is I'm using this blog to practice writing. I need more practice in it. I only know business, accounting & economics stuff. Its stupid stuff. Theres too much actual fraud everywhere that its annoying

Also I use mobile so formatting sucks cause Nvidia GPUs, or Arch dont like tumblr site. Or tumblr site dont like tumbkr site

Also also I 100,000% support all my fellow ones-and-zeros and their identity. Everyone is welcome here.

Except transphobes/zionist/long list of others but you get it. I'll help harrass any of those types endlessly if someone wants to tag me, and bring me in on an argument like that friend you call for backup with fights

Im unhinged so who's to say exactly what will end up here but this is also a completely public blog to me friends, family, hell, even acquaintances i dont give a fuc.

Blog should be expected to be roughly as child-friendly as simpsons or bobs burgers. But also boring like a civics/economics lesson sometimes. Yay

--------

I (and my husband) am ex mormon. Its a weird thing. Look into it if you havent recently. Realllllyyyy look into. Takes time to figure it all out in this fuckin fucked up world.

I just moved a year ago. Didnt watch the US stock market as much as I normally do. Had my first snowstorm 10 weeks ago, that was.. fun to handle while ill prepared. About 6 weeks ago I was hopping back on the market and notice its a huge tech bubble about to pop and all the conditions Ive been warned about my whole career imply this is not good. Just took a little more thinking & digging and I'm a little too confident to stop talking about it now.

(Oh I'm also care-free as fuc so I dont really read or desire to change past posts more than lil-nitpicks. More informative for the reader & myself-in-the-future-reading that way)

And I'm not kidding I do love feedback & questions. Its a very public blog tho so I get that part for sure.

If you search "life story" in my tags I had that pinned for a min Im just moving shit around rn

Being poor sucks. Will write more on that later.

---------------

First of all-- the exact timeline of an "economic shock" is literal insanity. Dont worry about the exact timing of any of this-- just know its doomed to happen soon.

Here are some effects I predict of this upcoming economic downturn

If anyone comes across any sources for these events that support my arguments please feel free to add in comments, reblogs, etc.

This concise list is mainly for my own reference, but it would be great to add to it if any one has something to add!

0.5. US Stock market collapse-- I have no desire to try and predict this one exactly. Too many conspiracies are actually correct about this big guy. Lets just say 7 US Tech stocks are worth 25% of the entire worlds market, roughly. "Too big to fail"-- I believe is the phrase

1. Corporate (slightly later will be residential by extension) real estate crisis: currently way too overvalued. Most of the houses, land, & urban corporate property we see could stand to decrease by about 60-90% from its current price.

2. Bankruptcy crisis: similar to the after-effects of the 70s inflation-- we can expect to see a huge wave of bankruptcies affecting a variety of business: from the micro-self employed; to the small business with leased buildings; to the largest corporations who commit massive accounting fraud & hope to escape accountability in time

3. Bank runs-- there is an extremely high overreliance on the Federal Reserve, who does not have good control over this situation. Once it becomes clear that there is a crisis (we call this a catalyst event)-- bank runs for physical cash are a surety. Hard to say how long a crisis like this might last. I should ask my siblings who lived near the SVB bank crisis hotspot (but those were rich fucks they do their "bank runs" over the phone)

3.5. Global currency collapse, which takes effect in every single local, state, & national economy at slightly different times. This means prices lower. Much lower. But takes time

4. Whatever the fuck the geopolitics is gonna do???. Its weird. You got Russia wanting to invade Europe? (Look at global economic forum 2024) Trump wants to let them. Biden wants to be an establishment corporate ass. North Korea has changed its #1 public enemy to South Korea (dont remember my source but it was a couple months ago). USA is stationing more troops in Taiwan, but probably only because of semiconductor technology?

The scope of our global financial woes are larger than can be explained in any of our lifetimes. Its much, much closer to pre-revolution France or the late 1920s. Big change is coming. Itll be soon

5. More to come

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2 Episode 15-"Lost And Found" Aka Rory Loses Dean's Shitty Bracelet That She Didn't Even Care She Lost , Aka BraceletGate, Aka QuarterOnAStringGate, Part 3

Now for the contiuation of Gilmore Girls 7-10 MInutes At A Time Because That's All I Can Tolerate of Lorelai Gilmore. Or Until I Reach My Max Number of Screen Shots (30).

Where we last left off, we were witnessing the complete miscarriage of justice wrought by AmyShermanPalladino wherein Dean The Butt Forrester is taking Rory to a town wide book sale and sulking like a little bitch while Jess Mariano is stuck slopping some bitch's gutters (and not sulking like a little bitch about it, I might add), some bitch being Lorelai Gilmore. This scenario has to violate some international treaty against war crimes. R: You sure you don't want to look around? DTBF: I did. R: For five minutes. DTBF: It was 20 minutes. Then I stopped. And you continued for another two hours. R: It has not been that long. DTBF: *shows Rory his watch* R: Oh, sorry. Thank you for mansplaining the concept of time to us, Dean The Butt Forrester. Speaking of time, I think it's time for your weekly ButtScout meeting, better get going.

Judging by the four identical BOOKS BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS fliers affixed to the same door, I'd venture to guess there is a book sale going on. Maybe I'm wrong. Dean:

EVERY GOD DAMN TIME. DEAN "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME" FORRESTER! AND LORD OF THE RINGS IS LIKE FOUR HOURS LONG. THIS DOES NOT SEEM LIKE AN EVEN EXCHANGE, DEAN THE BUTT. WHY AM I SHOUTING. I JUST HATE DEAN THE BUTT FORRESTER SO MUCH. Well, if it means Dean shuts up for four hours (if he doesn't talk through the entire movie) maybe it would be a welcome relief for Rory. Crossroads with Brtiney Spears came out the week before this episode aired. This movie is 1 hour and 34 minutes long. Rory, follow my instructions very closely: open one of those books, place DTBF's hand in between the pages, and slam down. Enjoy his screams of agony. You're welcome. Rory, struggling to juggle an armload of books that DTBF isn't offering to help her carry, goes into Don't Make Dean Angry/ Don't Drop The Books mode and agrees to go. But the tone of her "Ok" wasn't pleasing to DTB and he snaps back with a WHAT? I thought you liked Lord of the Rings.

No, I think you misheard the girl. What she actually said was "I want to see your genitals crushed with a lawnmower 100 times so you can never reproduce or have sex with Lorelai again" Oh, that was me, sorry.

Love Rory in this moment. Here's your crown, your majesty 👑

.......

Who could have ever predicted the answer to that question, huh. Dean is a sub-humanoid butt astronaut. Jess Mariano would NEVER just sit back and watch as Rory walked around struggling to carry things.

Oh god, it's all down hill from here people. The bracelet has escaped. I repeat, the bracelet has escaped.

DTBF: Where's your bracelet? You're not wearing your bracelet. Where is it? R: I took it off. DTBF: Why? R: Because I got a rash. Well, that's what happens when you wear a bracelet made out of a quarter on a string. Who knows what sorts of bacteria were lurking in the payphone that Dean fished it out of?

Simpsons and Gilmore Girls are such a winning combination. Rory looks terrified at how Dean might potentially react to her losing some cheap ass gumball machine bracelet. How would he react if she actually lost a gift worth more than 25 cents? (irrelevant, he would never gift her anything worth more than that). Joke's on her, it's going to be her Mom who really loses her shit about the cereal box bracelet.

Oh this does not sound good. "You go browse the astronomy section, we'll see Lord of the Rings and then watch Autumn in New York later and mock it all afternoon." Lord Of The Rings, Fellowship of the Rings: 2hr 58 minutes Autumn in New York: 1hr 43 minutes Browsing the Astronomy Section, Possibly To Research What Distant Black Hole Her Boyfriend Emerged From: 5-10 minutes probably. In the Dean the Butt universe, everything benefits him in the end. Me, me, me. Sure he was married, but I'll say this about Rory, still kinda proud of her that she makes him wait over four years until she finally put out. If he was a little nicer maybe Rory would at least give him a handy or even two during the 3 hour movie. (ps, where did they go to watch AINY if Lorelai was at home with Jess? Did poor Rory get stuck spending the afternoon in the Forrester living room, with Clara interrupting and Dean's parents in the next room audibly discussing with one another how their son was an unfortunate accident that should have been left at the local Safe Haven unwanted infant drop off, and now Rory can't even hear the movie?) Rory agrees to this "deal" just to shut Dean up, a deal which benefits her in no way whatsoever.

A double dose of nightmare fuel for ya'll so you can suffer alongside me. When you have to say "I'm not bored" to convince someone you're not bored... Moments ago Kirk was haggling with Gypsy over saving a nickel on a used book for charity and Kirk still comes out looking like a shrewder bargainer than Dean.

You know, it's a good thing they serve nutritious lunches at Chilton (even if Rory only chooses to eat two slices of white bread most of the time) and that there are restaurants nearby who cater to the Gilmores even though they never pay for their food, because otherwise Lorelai's child would be subsisting on a diet of Ragu sauce, salsa, Triscuit, and Coke (with lemon). I guess it's marginally better than what Jess would find when he opened Liz's fridge as a child. Roaches and empty promises. Now you're sad. I'm taking you all down with me on this sinking ship of an episode, damn it. My will to live watching another one of these DALA (Dean And Lorelai Affair/Dean And Lorelai are Assholes/ Dean And Lorelai are having Anal sex with each other) episodes is kind of like the Titan submersible. Quickly imploded after a short descent. Nothing remaining. Mere atoms scattered into vast nothingness. Gone. It's so much worse when you've seen the show multiple times and already know that Lorelai's "goodwill" towards Jess in the next scene goes down as quickly as Lorelai goes down on Dean after he helps her change her water dispenser. We see Lor looking around and listening suspiciously, as Lorelais do when Jesses are in their house. Not hearing any sounds of gutter-slopping, she slips outside.

This whole god damn episode exists because this smol infant just had to pick up that fucking quarter on a string. Why didn't you leave it on the bridge or return it Rory?! Why Jesstopher, why? I hate you right now. Your actions have consequences! People (me) are in pain. Don't you even care? Lorelai: Jess? Jess to Lorelai who treats him like shit: I'm sorry, was I being too loud? Stop being so nice. Ugh. Lorelai offers Jess some cold crappy leftovers. Figuring she probably put arsenic in his take out container, he politely declines, but then a second later he changes his mind, probably figuring death by eggroll sounds more peaceful than continuing to slop this bitch's gutters all afternoon.

Do you ever just want to get inside Jess Mariano's mind? I desperately want to know what he's thinking here after Lorelai says she and Rory ordered every chicken item on the Chinese restaurant menu in one night. I'm just saying, that "ambitious" is loaded.

Lorelai gets out the special plates reserved for special Poisoning occasions.

I'm probably the only person who gets a small chuckle every time Jess is offered meat (see also: a hot dog) knowing Milo Ventimiglia is a lifelong vegetarian, so I like to pretend Jess is a vegetarian as well.

L: "We have Garlic chicken, kung pao chicken, Szechuan chicken, chicken in brown sauce." All those poor chickens gave their lives just to end up feeding Lorelai Gilmore, isn't that a pity. (PETA, pay me for your new slogan). L to J: This chicken has these hot peppers in them, if you eat them, you'll die.

But enough about your fantasies again, Lorelai. Jess politely accepts some food, offers to wash his hands before eating, gently chides Lorelai about how the Gilmores neglect their basic nutrition and home repairs, suggests he found a bumper sticker from the 1950's in her gutter, all in good fun, proceeds to have a perfectly nice if awkward conversation with this bitch who doesn't deserve it. We know Lorelai is going to erase the memory of this impeccably polite behavior from her mind in a few moments after Braceletgate gets underway. Sorry Jess, you can't win. You try to be nice, she tries to poison your food, and failing that screams at you for taking her daughter's quarter on a string given to her by a Butt named Dean. 14 years later she's married into your family and still saying someone should throw a football at your face. Not even worth trying to curry her favor. Just be yourself, hunny.

Just admiring his gigantic watch. #AdmireTheBaby #ThePeppersAreTainted

#AdmireTheBaby Lorelai plays "Geting to know Jess" and we find out some obvious things. School is "still there" and he's not involved in any after school activities and he would like to throw a ball at an athlete's head. Well, of course he has no extra cirriculars. He spends all of his free time being underpaid by his uncle to work in the diner. What extra cirriculars do you think Jess might enjoy? Let me know in the replies.

It's okay, my little socially anxious baby, we still love you. I won't ever make a "Wow this thing knows how to talk" Lorelai-style remark. I can promise you that. I've been on the end of those comments and they hurt. I love seeing Milo eat with his crooked lip. Yes, I feel bad for him, after he said half his mouth is scar tissue from biting his lip so much while trying to eat, and he doesn't even feel it anymore. That being said, I still love him eating food vertically like he's gonna deep throat it. Egg rolls, hot dogs, popsicles and string cheese. The Milo is about to feast. Let's watch.

Beautiful end to this part of my recap. CHOMP! To be continued.

[radio-free-beth-sarim]

My Predictions for Caleb and Sophia

For the uninitiated: Caleb and Sophia are two characters that feature in short videos produced by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society intended to indoctrinate Jehovah's Witness children. They're two young children, siblings, raised as Jehovah's Witnesses and dealing with many of the problems growing up as one brings. For people raised as Jehovah's Witnesses, it brings back a flood of insane memories. I kind of can't help but like them. The kids go through things I went through myself, and as I watch I imagine what they're feeling in that moment. The things I would have felt. The thoughts and emotions I would have suppressed. If you're curious I recommend looking them up on youtube. Owen Morgan aka Telltale has a bunch of videos where he reacts to them and provides commentary. He's just one of many that cover the videos.

Whenever I watch a Caleb and Sophia video I always speculate how they end up. So here's my predictions.

We'll start with Caleb, since his story is one that easily could have been mine. Caleb is the Bart Simpson. He's a kind of rambunctious kid. He would like sports and video games if he was allowed, but he doesn't have those outlets available to him so it all becomes bible study and chores. He's given busy work at meetings and field service, and eventually he gets given "privileges" like working the soundboard and passing the microphones around at the Watchtower Magazine study or organizing and manning the literature counter. Eventually he'll make Ministerial Servant, which is the rank below Elder in the congregation and basically means he's being groomed for command. But thankfully he's never going to be an Elder. He's eventually going to be put in charge of the congregation's other rambunctious young boys, and will be responsible for studying with them and indoctrinating them into the Watchtower Society's beliefs. He's going to be seen as a role model and success story. His post high-school years will see him juggling his responsibilities with the congregation and working in a trade. Statistically window washing, but any given trade is likely. He'll apprentice under another Jehovah's Witness, possibly a relative, who is also likely an Elder who now holds his economic and social future in his hands. Now you'd think with all this going on, is Caleb happy? Well, that depends. He might genuinely be if he's kept too busy to really think about his life or what he wants from it and is too sheltered to experience anything more. But that's really difficult to do. Most JW young men get to experience just enough of the world to give them a taste, and everyone has a vice. Statistically it's porn and smoking. Chances are he'll get caught once, repent, lose his privileges, and then eventually make a slow return shortly after getting married. Caleb is getting married by 19 at the latest. He's full of so many hormones and urges if there's no release he's going to pop. So he'll marry literally the nearest non-related Jehovah's Witness girl roughly his age. If there are none nearby, he'll meet one at a convention or (scandalously) JWdate. Yes, that's real, and it's kind of an open secret because dating websites are not really what a JW should be about. Somewhere in the following years he's going to be working hard at his trade, trying to regain his status as a Ministerial Servant, and figuring out how to live with this stranger he rushed into marrying. Maybe they can make it work. Maybe they can't. I can't say. But kids will be happening soon. Eventually Caleb is going to hit a crisis moment where he needs to decide whether or not this is the life he wants. There's a roughly 66% chance he doesn't. He's got to make a choice. Does he stay in the life he has? Can he leave the Watchtower Society behind and still keep his family? That I can't say. I like to think his wife also has similar doubts, and through this their bond strengthens, they come to truly love each other deeper than they did when they first married, and leave together, sparing their children from the same life they were forced into. But doing that means they'll only ever have each other. Sometimes that's enough. Sometimes it isn't. His wife could divorce him, taking the kids and leaving him alone. He'll eventually find apostate material online and become fervently anti-JW, with only bitter memories among the ashes of a life that never had a chance to be anything but this.

Next we'll turn to Sophia. Some of my story for her is pure conjecture based on what I've seen from friends I grew up with. When I see Sophia, I see specific girls I knew growing up and I think of things they've told me about their lives. I don't have any experience being a girl in the Jehovah's Witnesses, but her story is one that I feel is honestly similar to mine just with her dealing with all of the added pressure of being a woman in a fucked up patriarchal clusterfuck like that. I'll have to make a part 2 for her, as Tumblr has a character count. I will reblog this post with that when I am done with it. Thank you for reading this far. I hope this provides some insight.

[whumpster-fire]

/r/AmITheAsshole comments are a truly incredible microcosm of the most deranged and awful people on the internet validating each other's shittiness. Today I saw a thread from a 21 year old woman whose boyfriend got her a pair of gold earrings in a romantic gift-giving moment and she reacted like "Why would you get me gold earrings? Don't you know I only wear silver?" And, predictably, has probably blown up her relationship now. So, the kind of absurd probably-bullshit ragebait that's pretty much par for the course on AITA.

...And then half the comments section proceeded to take her side and go all "How dare he, what a horrible, thoughtless gift, I can't believe they dated for three years and he somehow 'didn't notice' she only wears silver, women are really expected to show gratitude to men for not even doing the bare minimum" with one comment even saying it was a "red flag" about how the boyfriend didn't care enough about his partner to know she only wore silver. I didn't see the "weaponized incompetence" buzzword before I stopped scrolling but it was probably down there somewhere.

It's breathtaking how AITA commenters can take a reasonable and well intentioned idea like "You don't have to show performative gratitude for shitty half-assed gifts from someone who's clearly not trying" and take it to the most ludicrous extreme of "Treat people like shit for giving you a gift they put thought and effort into if it's not the exact thing you wanted. Basic tact is emotional labor which you don't owe anyone." This isn't a fucking Homer Simpson Bowling Ball Gift, it's a guy who knew his girlfriend liked jewelry buying jewelry as a gift and probably not realizing all her stuff being silver was for reasons of taste and not affordability. There are ways to handle this situation and communicate that gold jewelry is not a great gift going forward that do not involve literally behaving like a cartoon villain. Like that exchange is something I would unironically expect to see in the opening 20 minutes of a Disney movie as a ham-fisted way of establishing to the audience that someone is a total spoiled piece of shit. This is the kind of shit Cruella De Ville would pull if she got a date.

I love that subreddit so much, it's like watching a series of fiery car crashes (the original posts) where sometimes one comes to rest on a railroad crossing and then gets hit by a runaway train full of toxic chemicals (the comments section sometimes deciding to defend the most appalling behavior seemingly at random)

[sakura-otome]

Alright, since Utakata no Uchronia is finally being released and I'm gonna be picking up my reservation at Stella Worth tomorrow, let's go through the main and also side characters and talk about which ones I would totally smash

For those of you who don't know Broccoli, the company that produced Jack Jeanne, has come out with a new otome game as of 4/11.

The writing team is basically the exact same team as the one that worked on Piofiore, including the artist RiRi

I'm genuinely so hype for this game. I never ever ever reserve the special edition for a game, but I'm confident this will be a masterpiece like Piofiore. The character designs are all great, the voice actors are top notch A-listers, and they even used live 2D to animate all the sprites! Which has never been done in an otome game before.

This game also has a free trial, which let's you play through the common route, so I definitely encourage anyone who's interested and able to read Japanese to go ahead and play it.

Anyways, let's get to the main cast!

Okay first and foremost, our lovely protagonist ~ ❤️❤️

Her default name is Hinagiku, which is so darn cute!

I don't play games if I don't like the MC's design, but she passes with flying colors. I love white hair, her outfit is fantastic, and I don't find her personality grating. She's actually quite fun!

1000% SMASH

Next is Yashiro

VA: Kobayashi Chiaki

He's clearly the main hero. Putting aside plot stuff and other predictions, his big thing is being quite mysterious. Though he's very friendly, due to his amnesia at the story, we know basically nothing about him. From what I could glean from the info on the site and character PVs, I'm definitely sensing self hatred and angst, and also he's much bolder than I would have expected!

SMASH

Next is Tobari

VA: Okamoto Nobuhiko

So far, he's the one I'm most looking forward to. He's the face of the red light district, and is very dependable despite his age. I really adore the deep kindness that seems to underly his tough exterior, and the voice samples give me the picture of a someone who won't reach out to the MC because of his role, and what it would do to her if he were to take that chance. It doesn't matter if she wants it, it would lead to her unhappiness —

Listen I could go on. But to summarize.

Here's the thing about me. I'm always craving a specific kind of angst. I love when one party rejects the other, not because the feelings aren't mutual, but because they have to choose to live by their principles in some way. And I feel that Tobari is the most likely to scratch this itch.

1 MILLION PERCENT SMASH

Next up is Awayuki

VA: Saito Soma

He is basically the MC's personal butler/guardian. They've been by each other's sides since they were children, and he was one of the few that remained after the fire that destroyed her home and killed her parents when she was 8.

I certainly don't dislike this dynamic, but it's not necessarily my biggest thing. The notes said that the theme for his route was "attachment" or "obsession", from the both if them, which is intriguing to me because MC doesn't seem intense to me in that way, but we'll have to see!

SMASH

Next is Yori

VA: Eguchi Takuya

He's an officer in the militia Kurozuru, and is outright stated in his bio to have quite the nasty personality.

Tbh he pisses me off too much for me to make a fair assessment of him. He's perfectly physically attractive but I cant get past the urge to strangle him Homer Simpson style.

I'm looking forward to his route only insofar as I hope he gets put in his goddamn place.

PASS

Next up, Tsuyukusa

VA: Matsuoka Yoshitsugu

He's a skilled craftsman and a childhood friend to the MC.

He has the biggest, fattest, most obvious crush on the MC right out the gate, and it's honestly the cutest thing ever.

I'm honestly shocked this girl hasn't noticed, he barely hides it. Bitch is cute but hella dense.i honestly feel bad for him at this point.

He's really giving me cat energy. Real meow meow catboy energy if you will. Anyway

SMASH

Moving onto side characters! Woo!

Tsuwabuki

VA: Azakami Yōhei

So apparently he's Yori's older brother who also works in Kurozuru. From what I've seen of this guy, he's genuinely one of the nicest people ever, and I cannot believe he is related to Tori in any capacity. A mystery how he turned out so well-adjusted while Yori is an unapologetic dickhead. Would love to see a side story with him.

SMASH

This is Aijiro

VA: Toya Kikunosuke

Works for Yori. Hates his boss but is one of the few actually capable of working with him. Personally, not my type, design or personality wise.

PASS

Next up, Karatachi

VA: Fukuyama Jun

The head of Kurozuro. Is known to be quite eccentric and difficult to work with.

Listen, out of everyone in this game, he's the one I would personally jump in an alley. OBSESSED.

SMASH SMASH SMASH SMA–

Moving on, Shioji

VA: Yoshimura Kazuhiro

He's Tobari's right hand man, and also sort of "older brother". He's friendly and charming but I'm not particularly struck by him or his design.

PASS

[maizethecorn]

The Dragon Prince Viren and Aaravos Shipping and Recommended fanfics

I stayed up watching all of season five of the Dragon Prince which runs on Netflix. I was really happy to see Sir Sparklepuff a homunculus child be revealed to be a mix of Aaravos and Viren's DNA. I'm pretty sure Sir Sparklepuff is also a mix of other animals like possibly a butterfly or a moth since he was made with magic. Anyway, Sir Sparklepuff is the closest thing the show will ever have of Viren and Aaravos having a love child. So why ship Viren and Aaravos? Here is some background information on the show:

First, the Dragon Prince is a fantasy cartoon created by Aaron Ehasz who worked on the Avatar the Last Airbender cartoon. The three main characters are Prince Callum who is a human teenager in training to be a mage, King Ezran who is a child king who can talk to animals and Rayla is a moon shadow elf teenager trained to be an assassin. These three kids along with the non-talking Dragon Prince Azymondias who acts like a dog are attempting to bring peace to the magical world of Xadia. Xadia is a land overrun with different types of elves, humans, dragons and other magic creatures. The main villain the four heroes must defeat is the elf named Aaaravos who is looking to break out of his prison and possibly rule Xadia. Callum and Rayla spend time together and fall in love in later seasons. Those two are the main couple on the show. I have nothing against Callum/Rayla other than I find them to be bland and predictable. Now, here is information on the only two interesting characters and best pairing on this show:

Aaravos is a Startouch elf who has been imprisoned in a furnished library cell at the bottom of the ocean for centuries. His one crime known for sure is that he killed the SunFire Elf Queen predating Khessa by swallowing her. The rest of his crimes and future goals once he gets out of prison are unknown. I'm guessing Aaravos possibly wants to rule the world. He is noted to be over five thousand years old. Aaravos narrates the opening of the cartoon. He is voiced by Erik Dellums.

Viren voiced by Jason Simpson is a high mage that served under King Harrow for many years. He is divorced and is the father of Soren who is a knight and Claudia who is a mage. Viren favors his daughter Claudia over Soren since she is talented at using magic like him. Soren sadly, tries to get his father's approval by displaying his athletic abilities to no avail. Ultimately, Soren gives up on getting Viren to like him and joins Callum's group in saving Xadia. As for Viren, things start to go downhill when King Harrow won't take his advice to use dark magic to save his life. To add insult to this injury, Harrow tells Viren to kneel like a servant before him and says Viren is not his equal. This disrespect after many years of loyal service is what pushes Viren to the dark side in turning against Harrow.

So how do Viren and Aaravos meet? Viren gets a magic mirror which is a portal to Aaravos's prison. He is intrigued by Aaravos when he sees the elf sitting in a chair through the mirror. Aaravos motions for Viren to put a creepy caterpillar in his ear which Viren refuses to do at first. Viren puts a blanket over the magic mirror and goes to the library to research Aaravos. However, everytime he tries to read a book about Aaravos, the text fades to black, no matter what book he picks. Annoyed, Viren goes back to the magic mirror, uncovers it and throws the blanket away. He sees Aaravos is still sitting in his prison and demands to know why he can't find any information about Aaravos in books. Smiling, Aaaravos holds the creepy caterpillar up to Viren at the glass portal. He hand motions for Viren to take the caterpillar which Viren does somewhat reluctantly. Then, Aaravos handmouths instructions for Viren make a magic potion to drink which Viren does. After drinking the potion, Viren puts the caterpillar in his ear. Finally, Viren is able to hear Aaaravo's voice through the caterpillar. The delighted elf tells Viren he has waited too long to hear the voice of another person. Aaaravos tells Viren his name was wiped from all books by a spell and he is trapped in a prison at an unknown location. Wary, Viren asks what Aaravo's crimes were and Aaravos refuses to tell him. Frustrated, Viren threatens to destroy the mirror if Aaravos won't give him the information he wants. Aaaravos calls Viren's bluff saying Viren won't destroy the mirror because he is too curious about Aaravos and wants to figure him out. The elf proposes an alliance where he will help Viren rule Xadia if Viren helps break Aaaravos out of his prison. Reluctantly, Viren accepts resulting in a shaky partnership between human and elf.

Why ship these two? I love a pairing where there is tension between characters. Aaaravos and Viren as a ship definitely has tension and chemistry. Viren starts off only wanting to help the human kingdoms of Xadia prosper. He wants to achieve his goals in as ethical a way as possible. But, Aaaravos manages to convince Viren to take what he wants by force. Aaravos is definitely a toxic influence for Viren but Viren wasn't an angel when the show began. By the start of the show, Viren has been using dark magic for decades. His true appearance shows his eyes are black and his body has been drained reducing his skin to pasty color as a side effect from using dark magic. Viren has to use glamour magic to hide his appearance from everyone except Aaaravos. Aaaravos doesn't care what Viren looks like and Viren doesn't have to use glamor magic around him. In my opinion, Aaravos was the only person Viren could vent or confide in about how unappreciated he was at the king's court at the start of the show. Granted, Aaravos just listened to Viren so he could manipulate him later but he was still a very patient listener with Viren. Viren could talk about his life goals with Aaravos and not have his hopes/dreams sliced to ribbons. Also, Aaaravos appears to enjoy Viren's company seen in one example when Viren recounts how he killed the Dragon King he nicknamed Thunder to Aaaravos. The two of them enjoy reading books and experimenting with magic. Also, I just love how Viren attempts to be defiant towards Aaaravos saying he won't do what the elf wants but almost always ends up doing what Aaravos wants anyway. Usually fanfiction, portrays Viren as being more submissive and Aaravos as being more dominant. Here are some recommended fanfics of these two:

Everytime We StarTouch is a complete, one-shot fic by Anonymous about Viren having sex with Aaravos's ghost.

Our child is a complete, one shot fic by strangefake where Viren bonds with Sir Sparklepuff after learning the homunculus is his child.

The Sound of His Voice is a complete one shot about Viren getting seduced by Aaravos just by hearing the elf's voice.

Everyone gets one is a complete two chapter fic where Viren attempts to deny to Claudia that he is dating Aaravos.

Fallen Star by Storm Fire_22 is an on going 46 chapter fic about Viren and Aaravos playing mind games with each other. Viren and Aaravos both care for each other but be prepared for them to have really bad communication skills in this story.

To Noon He fell is a complete one shot about Aaravos sharing his life history with Viren.

Discontinous is the first of a four fic series called Limits by RazRas. The author recommends you read the series in order. The story explores the idea of Viren having past feelings for King Harrow, his relationship with his ex wife and what the concept of what a family is. Soren and Claudia appear in the series and have a hard time understanding Viren dating Aaarvos. Both kids eventually accept their dad is gay and that their mom and dad won't get back together.

Just a coworker relationship is a complete one shot fic where Viren attempts to deny what his relationship with Aaarvos is to Claudia. Claudia figures out what her dad's relationship with Aarvos is within three seconds.

Soulmates is an ongoing 27 chapter fic where Aarvos finds out Viren is supposed to be his soulmate through a magic reading. Smitten, the elf decides to start a war so he can meet Viren. However, Viren senses Aaravos is hiding information from him which promotes tension between them.

If I had a heart by undefined_trevelyan is a complete, eight-chapter fic about Aaravos helping Viren overcome low self-esteem issues. At first, Viren resists Aaravo's affections but returns the elf's feelings by the end of the story.