#not the hugest fan of twins

[peculiardiction]

I'm in. Fucking deep yall. 6 of an 8 page comic already thumbnailed.

It's demon siblings.

It's danny being a dumbass.

Stay tuned?

[roseboysstuff]

https://www.tumblr.com/roseboysstuff/744377369764167680/can-we-get-some-headcanons-of-the-twins-especially?source=share

So fun fact about this, chocolate tea *does* in fact, exist. It's usually made with roibos tea leaves, which I'm not the hugest fan of, mostly cuz it tastes a bit chalky to me

Wait really? I need to try some I've been wanting chocolate tea since I was a kid

[chuuyasoup]

may i ask about your thoughts on stampede ep 11? your one of the few ppl i really trust and im trying to make sense of how i feel about knives characterization that i think i really need a second opinion (if u dont mind)

sure! i'm just going to share the screencaps of the convo i had with a friend about ep 11 and knives in general because i feel like it sums up my feelings abt stampede knives pretty well.

tldr: i'm not really the hugest fan of stampede's characterization in general. everyone feels sanitized and kinda boring and knives was the only one when i first began watching who had me interested enough to read the manga. but now i feel like he's also beginning to fall pretty flat and i wish they hadn't made so many changes to the twins' personalities as children because i feel like that's the largest root of the issue

[pinkcherrytrash]

I'm not the hugest David Lynch fan but what I love and respect about him is that he understands that sometimes the mystery is more important/interesting than the answer.

Like, that's just brave that he wanted there to be no solving of the mystery in twin peaks but the execs forced his hand. You go dude.

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Can you do the manager hcs that act like Alice Nakiri from SnS for Inarizaki, Shiratorizawa, Fukurodani, and Nekoma? (like she is BEST GIRL; so confident, adorkable, impulsive, carefree, have a mischievous side, has cute bossy tendencies but at the same time she is really caring, polite, and very very rich (she doesn't even know what a Bento is)

Hello my love!! Ahhh I just love receiving asks from you. You're honestly a psychic, I was actually just fangirling over Alice Nakiri when I saw your ask, because I'm on season two of sns.

I have the HUGEST crush on Hayama Akira omg. Definitely my favourite character from the show, his visuals and character are both just god-tier. Who's your favourite male character from the show? I think Akira, Takumi and Isshiki are such cuties. Although Isshiki's fashion sense is just so questionable oml

@k-sakusa-old (I CAN FINALLY TAG YOU IM SO HAPPY!!) ❤️🖤

Rich manager headcanons.

Characters: Inarizaki team, Shiratorizawa team, Fukurodani team, Nekoma team.

Warnings: none :))

Manager preferance: as stated, she's adorable, funny, and rich, and an excellent cook! Has a mischievous side, and a curvaceous and beautiful body with pretty features.

Inarizaki

Ahhh alright, it's my little fox babies!! They see you around school with your best friend pretty often, and they're struck because you look so different.

Like they've honestly never seen anyone like you, with your eyes and hair a different colour, and the way you carry yourself with so much grace and class, yet you also have the cutest expressions.

I think they'd all be subtle simps for you even before getting to know you, because they find your mannerisms really cute.

Definitely push captain Kita to ask you to become their manager.

So you're with your best friend, and you're teasing him (REAL SNS FANS KNOW ALICE IS NEVER WITHOUT RYO) and Kita bows and asks if you would be the manager for their volleyball team.

To vex him further, you tease him before agreeing to help, and he looks relieved, albeit a bit traumatized. He definitely wasn't expecting such a sassy girl.

Kita reports back to the team that you've agreed and will be manager starting tomorrow.

Back at home, you remember Kita's face after teasing him, and you decide to cook the team something as a peace offering, also hoping you'll make a good impression.

You cook them something extremely fancy, using your extensive cooking knowledge and effort, and the end result is something worthy of being served at a high-class restaurant. You go to bed satisfied, after asking the butler to prepare and pack the food for the team at school.

After school the next day, you smile happily with your butler by your side carrying the food you've made.

The entire volleyball team is just ":O"

You smile cheekily and tell them to dig in, introducing yourself as the new manager.

They're in a bit of shock, because they never knew you were; a. Rich, or b. So generous.

Flashing them a gorgeous smile, you crack jokes with them and ask them how they liked the food, later revealing you've cooked it.

The team is just so??? impressed?? Like wow she's so adorable and sassy which kinda makes her hot, and she can cook so well?

Please cue Osamu falling in love as he subtly decides what to name y'alls children.

I mean, a girl who can cook better than he can? He'd be so eager to learn from you and cook together with you, he's already getting dizzy just thinking about it.

Atsumu would probably be pretty whipped too, and not just because of the food (he's such a foodie, that's just a bonus point). He totally thinks any girl who can crack jokes and make him laugh has the key to his heart, and he loves how you're unafraid and mischievous.

As you warm up to them and begin attending their practices daily and getting closer, Aran just starts getting more and more impressed about how funny you can be.

Your antics and pouts totally make him laugh.

Suna probably strikes this relationship with you where he plans pranks and you're just gutsy enough to execute them. You're also more likely to get into trouble but whatever. While he's just recording you from somewhere

So he thinks you're really cool :] and you can really just tease him mercilessly and he wouldn't mind.

Kita just finds you so capable and brilliant, but he's also pretty shy by how confident and cool you are.

I think he'd try his best to talk to you and slowly and eventually form a bond with you based on something you both like.

In general, the team is just constantly in awe of you and they find you so exceptionally cool. Extremely blessed to have you as a manager and can't resist but show you off every single chance they get.

Like "in your face Itachiyama we have this gorgeous queen on our side here, alright?"

And you're loyal to them, trash talking their opponents even better than the Miya twins, yet keeping this innocent smile and façade up which makes the entire teams' hearts just squeeze at how hot you look when you do that.

10/10, Inarizaki adores you.

Shiratorizawa

So this is a school for rich kids, luv I think everyone is rich and unfazed 😭🤚

You become the team's manager because your teacher says it's a "hard position" and "no one has managed to keep it for long" which definitely just fuels your need to be the best at it.

But it doesn't go without careful planning, you wait at the gym to greet the members without revealing yourself as their manager.

You meet Ushijima first, and he's as silent and stoic as ever, which leads you to start teasing him and asking for attention.

Which he doesn't grant you. As you know Ushijima, he's probably gonna get annoyed :(

Ugh farmer boy doesn't know how to loosen up and have fun can someone teach him how to be cool?

So NGL you're a bit disheartened, until you meet your next favourite human being, Tendou Satori.

He just starts cracking jokes and matching your energy pretty well, you guys vibe so well together!!

And you feel like thinks might just be looking up. You plan on telling Tendou you'll be their new manager, when you meet another member of the team.

Goshiki is just a blushing mess when he sees you. I feel like he would not know how to act around girls and his brain just short circuits when he sees someone as BEAUTIFUL as you are.

You probably spot his nosebleed and joke with him, gently wiping his face with a tissue.

Which of course, causes him to faint on the spot, can we get an f in the chat for him?

Tendou helps him up and you're just laughing silently whilst coming face to face with Semi Eita.

So you're totally the type to be vocal about things and if you find someone cute, you aren't beating around the bush, so you're just like “hey I think you're so cute!”

And Semi is just like “omg okay what”

He definitely laughs it off and finds you brave and cool, and you kinda earn his respect for being so straightforward.

And he's pretty happy about the compliment.

You follow them into the gym and introduce yourself as their new manager, and they all promise to work hard and cooperate with you.

You get along well with the whole team, but for some reason, you and Ushijima just don't have the same connection you share with the others.

Like your jokes with Tendou, or your playful and mischievous nature with Semi.

Or even how you tease Goshiki.

You're determined to fix it.

So one day after a match, you round the whole team up and bring them to your house, instructing they wait by the dining table.

And you whip out some really fancy food you've just prepared, calling it a celebration for winning :)

They don't know you've cooked it yet, so you tell them and they're all just so impressed but not surprised, since they know you're capable and amazing at anything you do.

But Ushijima is just like?? Wow??

Because the flavours and way you've prepared the food touches him and he's just so proud to know someone who can make other people happy with their cooking.

And he tells you so, causing you to blush for the first time in your life.

The team is so soft when they see you flustered over something their captain has said, and they're glad you guys are slowly growing closer.

Each of them kiss your forehead and thank you for the meal before heading home, even Ushijima! (Which was super unexpected. You just expected a curt nod of a sort, but he gave you a gentle peck and ruffled you hair)

You smile to yourself because you're finally on good terms with everyone :)

The team totally thinks of you as a little sister, except Goshiki who views you as the coolest senpai ever loves bragging about you to his friends.

[ Ari's note: Nekoma and Fukurodani will be out in a few hours!! I'm sorry I have a deadline to meet for some reports and although I've done my work my club members haven't submitted some stuff yet so I have to wait till they do😭 it's so stressful, but I'm the president and I'll technically be held responsible if this doesn't go well, so uhh wish me luck? 👉👈❤️ Love you guys! Thanks for reading ]

Taglist: @osamusriceballs @k-sakusa-old

[the-night-writer1]

Always the same

Description: Shanyao is left alone to clean the noodle shop. So he dewells on his thoughts while he cleans. Spicynoodlesshipping and freenoodleshipping mentioned.

It was Saturday night and Pigsy noodles had just closed early just like MK the pig demon had a date. With who Shanyao didn't know but he could certainly guess it was Tang. Not that Shan minded the two finally getting together it just meant he was alone to clean the shop.

He stretched and prepared to get to work as Pigsy left. He could take his sweet time cleaning with neither of them here. No rushing to get out of the shop for a now cancelled movie night or to get Pigsy off his back.

It was just Shanyao, the music on his phone, a broom and his thoughts. He put his wireless earbuds on and went to getting his cleaning playlist. He also checked Mei's feed and his brother's feed. Both of them were having a blast while he was here about deep clean the floors. He couldn't join either of them, they were both on a date or "hanging out" with someone. He sighed as he started his music and went to swiping. No use in trying to any way.

He hated being a unneeded third wheel. It was the whole reason he let MK cancel movie night, he didn't like Red son's protective behavior or attitude. Plus MK needed alone time with the guy. He knew how badly the two were in love.

Ugh, he also didn't need the sexual tension that came with those two in a room together. He also wasn't the hugest fan of spiders so he wasn't going to join Mei's hang out session. He understood that Mei was happy so that was all that mattered. Sure he could have snuck off to train with Macaque but then again Macaque was hard to find. The demon monkey seemed to be busy with other things so yeah a lot of Shan's night activity opinions were well taken by someone else. Not that he minded right? He had work to get done.

"yeah I got work to do. I should just focus on that" Shan said quietly to himself as he worked on the floor. He tried to humm to the music he was listening to but he couldn't quite seem to enjoy it. Dammit, he was hoping he'd get use to this by now.

Shan wasn't a guy to point out when things around him where making him upset. People had to pull it out of him or let it build until he couldn't take it anymore. That was the reason he started training with Macaque in the first place. He didn't speak to MK about his concerns with Sun Wukong and that staff other than asking MK not to go. That was a big old mess, he just let his insecurities latch on to him like slugs to a tree. MK didn't even know he was still training with the monkey. After the fruitless fight with Wukong that lead to him nearly become a body of orbs, Macaque had decided to change some of his training methods. Thus, Shan felt like he been shoved back to the basics. He still didn't even know where these abilities came from. They just showed up when his twin gained the staff. They weren't even like MK's powers mostly.

Shanyao shook his head, lingering on things that would never be answered didn't help him at all. Great. His mind was wondering off while he was cleaning. Maybe he needed a break. Just making himself a snack and take a break.

"well I've gotten the sweeping done don't see why not I'll be cleaning the dishes anyway." Shan mumbled softly as he took his earbuds out. He swept the last of dust pile into the dust pan when he heard a knock at the door couldn't they read. Store was closed. Shanyao rubbed the bridge of his nose as he turned to see who was at the door.

"what in the gods is he doing here?" Shanyao mumbled as he looked at the fucking monkey king standing at the door. The last guy he wanted to see. He didn't know how MK didn't see the monkey's creeper vibes.

"the door's locked" Wukong said just standing there waiting. Shan put the broom and dustpan away before letting the monkey in.

"my brother isn't here. He had a date tonight." Shan said bluntly as he started towards the kitchen. MK would absolutely murder him if he just let Wukong stand in front of the shop all night or be rude to the beloved monkey king. Didn't mean he had to like the creeper who shows up out of nowhere sometimes and literally takes his brother away to train for months.

"oh I know that Kid told me during our last training session that he had a date tonight." Wukong said as he wiped his feet on the welcome mat. Then why the fuck was Wukong here? Shanyao wasn't MK, and he was pretty sure Wukong had functioning eye balls. He was the only one here. No Pigsy , no tang, no mei or Sandy so why was the sun monkey here? What could he get from just Shan? Shan took a deep breath in and out, again he shouldn't be completely rude.

"Well did you need something?" Shan asked as he pulled some stuff out to make some noodles. Pigsy told him it be alright as long as he cleaned up after himself. Pigsy was good like that.

"Came to check on how your doing." Wukong said as he sat at the bar. There was a chilling sweetness in his tone. Why would he want to check in on Shan? He said from his own mouth a while ago that Shanyao had completely recovered from his attack on the monkey.

"oh... thanks" Shan said as the hair stood up on the back of his neck. This was surely Wukong, Macaque would have snapped at him for the attitude by now. He didn't really have much to talk about with the sun monkey.

" Don't mention it." Wukong said as he looked around the noodle shop,"you need any help cleaning up? It probably get you out quicker."

"I don't really have any thing else to do tonight" Shan said as he started the broth, MK must have asked Wukong to keep him company or something. Shanyao really didn't see any other reason he'd be here," so I don't mind cleaning up"

Wukong rubbed his chin as if to think of something. What that something was Shan had no idea. There was quiet for a bit as Shan finished the two bowls of noodles. He figured Wukong was probably hungry. He didn't make the best noodles but they were decent. A small thank you for making sure he survived his stupid attack. He set Wukong's bowl in front of him.

"oh thanks bud looks great" Wukong said encouragingly which just further confused Shanyao. He grabbed his own bowl and sat down at the bar as well.

"yeah. I learned it from Pigsy and MK those two know their way around noodles" Shan said as he grabbed some disposable chop sticks.

"well I'm sure you do too." Wukong said as he did the same. Shan rolled his eyes as he began to eat his noodles. Wukong sounded like Tang for a moment. At least Wukong wasn't giving him that weird stare.

This hopefully wouldn't become a new normal.

[nijimurakyo]

Please do Kakyoin and Pucci for the ask hcs thingy! (Or Josuke if you don't want to do/have already done one of those two!)

👾 KAKYOIN 🍒

sexuality headcanon: i love self-projecting (plus!!!! i think araki confirmed it idk) so he's bisexual!!!!! :D

gender headcanon: non biney. they've got no binary. insert video game pun here today no gender no nothing

a ship i have with her: ignoring all the other gross fans of it (i am looking AWAY) i rly do think j*takak works in a character foil for each other sorta way, plus it's just funny to me bc I think they fake-date but for real fake

a brotp i have with them: I THINK HIM AND ABDUL GET ALONG LIKE GENUINELY THATS UH *INCOHERENT MUMBLING* FUCKING they often talk abt mythology together and the fact that abdul also had his stand since childhood tells me they'd get along so well (plus that's why he wasn't there for the death 13 arc he'd believe kak plus that baby's a fucking tiyanak) and polnareff too even tho she's so mean to him (bc pol and kaks dynamic reminds me of me and my kuya ^__^)

a notp i have with him: well i don't wanna say any of the ships but y'know. anyone else bc as much as I'm "eh" towards it at least jotaros her age shipping him w anybody else makes me feel so gross

a random headcanon: having met his pinoy relatives (from mom's side) they were convinced hierophant was a dead relative's spirit for a long while guarding him bc pinoy superstition and all, that's why his mom scolds her family for making him think that way bc she hasn't grown out of hierophant. ALSO that's what he discusses with abdul!!!!!

general opinion over them: hugest cc ever oh my GOD the way most people treat him makes me froth at the mouth i only trust certain people about her but he's also another genuinely great character and i feel like even if he could've been used for great potential his final battle with dio wraps up his character nicely so he's played his part well.

🌙 PUCCI ⭐

sexuality headcanon: he's gay. *pointing* fruit (affectionate)

gender headcanon: i like to think of him as a trans man!!!

a ship i have with him: sorry pucci you deserved so much better also i don't ship him w anyone ¯\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )_/¯

a brotp i have with him: MAN it's gonna sound weird but if he were to get a redemption arc with aus I'd say jolyne, yes it's bc I remember that comic where he says he'll officiate her foo fighters wedding since she can't marry ermes. Yes I'm emotional thinking about him and jotaro too, it's also gonna take a lot of therapy and i don't think they'll ever think of him as great but him and weather...... fuck..

a notp i have with him: EASILY DI///OPUCCI GIRL HELP HE WAS 16 WHEN THEY MET........ i like to think that dios his fucked up roommate and also: pucci being his kids fucked up godfather

a random headcanon: him finding out he could insert random music discs into people to play them like a radio was entirely by accident when he decided to look cool by flinging one at someone like a frisbee only to find out it wasn't a memory or stand disc, he's seen them so much he just mistook it as his stand disc

general opinion over him: hes such a tragic character but also so beautifully written, araki knows to give villains fucked endings but he's one of the few who got a respectful death (choked out by an 11-year old which in comparison, is better than i don't know eternal limbo as a detective, infinite death loop by 15-year old or sent to space never to die EVER), he deserves good things but also he was a priest there had to be some sort of retribution for that (what word was it i forgot)

⚓ JOSUKE 💎

sexuality headcanon: SHES GAY BABEY!!!!!

gender headcanon: trans man who uses she/her!!!! luv the self-projection here

a ship i have with her: COME ON THE JOSUYASU DUOS SO ICONIC THEY LIKE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT!!!!! luv rowdy teenagers in love what can I say :]

a brotp i have with her: listen. listen dude. yukako and her hair buddies and SERIOUSLY when them and okuyasu were having a lunch date during that one episode r*han punches a kid i couldn't stop thinking about their friendship 🥺 also twins au lives in my mind rent-free

a notp i have with her: jos////uhan shippers don't look at me or I'll dropkick you into the nightmare dimension i SWEAR TO GOD YALL DONT KNOW WHAT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE AND IM NOT GONNA POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS REASONS WHY ITS BAD

a random headcanon: she's a gardener ^__^ people think she's the one helping her mom with it but it's the other way around, she's the one who bought the stuff for her and assists in uh. dirt activities!! idk if it's also canon but her mom does know about crazy diamond, she had to tell her dad that josukes ok and to stop worrying

general opinion over her: BABY YOU ARE MY. ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY best jojo and favorite jojo i *vibrating at the speed of sound * she's so cute and awesome and I love her sm 🥺🥺🥺🥺 the one thing keeping me from wishing j*seph out of existence was her how the fuck the worst jojo produced best jojo i once asked myself, well that's simple it's bc he didn't raise her 😌 girlboss milf tomoko did and that's fucking awesome

[cinnamonzor]

BrattyShipping Headcanons Pt. 5

Previous Posts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Teen Years

- After returning from the Isle of Armor, Victor opts to keep his hair at its newly grown-out length. This decision is partially influenced by it giving him a new comfort device for his anxiety and partially because he quickly discovers he loves Bede playing with it when it’s loose.

- Bede also enjoys it more than they’d wish to admit to anyone but Victor. Their brain temporarily short-circuited at how good the new style looked on him when they first saw it. If the prior notes didn’t convince Victor to keep it grown-out, Bede’s flustered reaction most certainly succeeded.

- Bede is SUPER touch-starved. Against most people’s expectations, they revel in Victor’s naturally cuddly behavior, accepting hugs and snuggles whenever possible. However, neither of them are particular fans of PDA, still preferring to keep their relationship on a need-to-know basis (i.e. their friends, family, Pokemon, and pretty much every significant character from the game).

- Opal’s one problem with Victor is his general lack of style, as all he really looks for in clothing is comfort. She takes several opportunities to insist he accessorize and/or throw some more pink into his outfit. Bede eventually decides enough is enough and gives him a necklace with a pink, berry-shaped charm on it to appease her (and if they enjoyed watching Victor’s face light up, so be it).

- Victor’s heard enough of Opal’s unsolicited fashion advice to figure out his significant other’s ulterior motive, but loves the gesture anyway. He attempts to find an accessory-related gift for Bede as well, settling on a cozy scarf with a little Hattenna logo on the end. They now wear it as part of both their casual outfit and gym uniform.

- While Victor’s social anxiety and tendency to overthink still act up from time to time, he’s still fairly secure in their relationship. They don’t openly admit to it, but Bede is actually the most insecure in that regard. Their past mistakes and the numerous fans Victor has meld with their abandonment issues and leave them frequently worrying Victor will leave them just like everyone else.

- Bede begins to slowly integrate into the friend group formed by the Postwick Trio and Marnie. They’re still reasonably wary of Gloria, but they grow to tolerate each other. They find themselves on much better terms with Hop and never really had any problems with Marnie in the first place. Victor still regularly finds himself mediating, though it’s not much worse than when it was just the original three.

- It takes some digging, but Victor manages to find out when Bede’s birthday is (personal headcanon: August 13). They’ve never bothered to celebrate it since before they arrived at the orphanage and have mostly just written it off ever since. Since birthdays have always been fairly significant in Victor’s family (a trait he himself retains), he takes it upon himself to ensure Bede enjoys theirs from then on as well (usually with an outing or meal and a thoughtful gift as the basis).

- Bede finds out about the twins’ birthday (personal headcanon: February 27) through Gloria insisting they arrive in Postwick to celebrate. She admits she’s not the hugest fan of having them over at a party that’s half for her, but she recognizes her brother is head-over-heels for them at that point and how much it’d mean to him if they came. She makes it particularly clear that their attendance is not optional.

- Their first major fight since their relationship begins is spurred by Victor’s concerns that Bede is still holding him at arm’s length after over a year together (rarely expressing themselves beyond surface value, waiting for Victor to reach out more often than doing so themselves, etc). Bede attempts to play it off as being due to their busy schedule as a gym leader, but Victor sees through it fairly easily. He mostly just tries to accept it, but it leaves him feeling particularly dejected and things are fairly awkward for a bit afterward.

- After a couple weeks (and, of course, some “guidance” from Hatterene), Bede admits to holding Victor at arm’s length and starts to open up a bit about their trust and abandonment issues. Victor also apologizes for prying too much and reminds Bede that he’ll always be willing to listen when they need it.

- Bede ends up taking Victor to the post-season League banquet as their plus-one when both are around sixteen or seventeen. The media assumes he came as his sister’s (who is still very much the Champion) and that Bede invites Opal as theirs. In truth, her invitation never ceased to be issued even after she retired.

- Everyone else who is invited is well aware at this point. Raihan, Nessa, Leon, and Sonia end up debating the plausibility of their blatantly contrasting personalities working well together. Piers doesn’t bother to join in, but silently agrees with Nessa and Leon based on the stuff he’s heard about their dynamic from Marnie.

- Victor’s favorite part of the event is the amazing catering and relatively low-attention atmosphere. Bede’s favorite part is how amazing Victor looks in a suit.

- Bede and Gloria end up facing each other in the League Finals that year. When Victor goes to congratulate them afterward, the three are mobbed by press and he starts having a panic attack. Both his sister and significant other go into “angry protective mode” and attempt to angrily tell off the paparazzi.

- Gloria tries to lead the press away while Bede gets Victor into the locker room to calm down. They haven’t actually seen him in such a state since the opening ceremony of their League challenge (and even then it wasn’t this bad), mostly since he’d figured out methods to cope with his crowd-induced anxiety and misophonia by the time it would have acted up around them. They have no idea what to do for the most part, but their presence manages to help ground Victor enough to employ the calming techniques he’s had to learn over time.

- On their way out, Bede is still pissed at the paparazzi for rendering their boyfriend in such a state. Taking advantage of Hatterene’s particular skill-set, they covertly send her out to inflict them all with migraines in spite. Gloria notices from across the crowd; her respect for Bede doubles that day.

- By the time both finish growing, Victor is a couple inches taller than Bede. Their hair makes it seem closer than it actually is, but it’s still not the most drastic height difference.

- Bede eventually figures out how to incorporate their puffer coat into their gym uniform. But before that happens, they return to their locker room one day to find Victor waiting for them while bundled in it. They nearly have a cuteness-induced aneurysm.

- It’s around age seventeen when Bede learns that being nonbinary is a thing and immediately clicks with it. When they come out to Victor, he spends a full day researching gender-neutral terms to refer to them by online. He’s wary of calling them his “partner” in fear of it sounding too serious, but Bede personally approves of the term themselves.

- After growing incredibly accustomed to Victor making food for them, Bede attempts to surprise him by trying their own hand at cooking. While they have much less experience, he adores the thought they put into it and informs them that it’s surprisingly good for a first try. He offers to teach them some tricks he learned and cooking together ends up being a favorite activity of theirs from then on.

- Bede accidentally left the Vengeance Board up the first time Victor saw their room later that day. It was at that point when they realized how potentially creepy having a bunch of mementos of their boyfriend tacked to a corkboard labelled “vengeance” looked, but Victor thought it was adorable and took a picture (with a few playful snarks thrown in, of course).

- That was also the first instance of them sharing an actual bed (instead of the couch that one time), falling asleep cuddled in each others arms. They groggily bid each other good morning when they wake up, only for Opal to throw in a “good morning” of her own from her chair next to them. Just like the first instance, there was some screaming involved (and a couple empty threats on Bede’s part).

- Bede isn’t prone to using cutesy nicknames, while Victor’s nicknames for them are “Love” and “Sprite.” Hop once jokingly used the second one after seeing it as their contact name in Victor’s Rotom Phone. It took three whole minutes to fish him out of the river.

- Upon nearing his goal for gaining funds and cooking experience, Victor ultimately plans to open his restaurant in Ballonlea. The quaint, whimsical nature of the town makes it an ideal location for both his desired atmosphere and projected business (since large crowds are less likely in a smaller town, but the sights and gym challenge will attract enough customers).

- After showing Gloria, their mom, and Hop his notes to assure them he thought everything through, he brings up the idea to Bede. They’re caught off-guard at first, but after thinking it through with Opal’s help, they inform Victor that they want to help with the preparations when their schedule allows and move in above the restaurant with him when its ready.

Still not done! Like hell I’m missing out on writing the domestic fluff!

[sinceileftyoublog]

Live Picks: 9/11

Mannequin Pussy

BY JORDAN MAINZER

One of the best albums of the year or one of the best albums of 21 years ago?

Mannequin Pussy, Lincoln Hall

On Patience Mannequin Pussy’s hugest-sounding and best album yet, lead singer Marisa Dabice makes it obvious what she’s singing about, which works to the band’s advantage. Yet, the songs themselves and the feelings they describe, let alone exude, are complex. Produced by emo heavyweight Will Yip, the album features swirling, fuzzed out, guitars on top of meaty drum beats, and layered ascending vocals alternating with desperate, raw screams, a perfect concoction of sounds to mirror Dabice’s emotional turmoil. 

At times, Patience is not an easy listen--Dabice details an abusive relationship on multiple tracks--but the songs are just as much about her self-reflection and ability to rise above. On the very first song, she declares that she’s got patience in her blood but that it’s running out; on “Fear/+/Desire”, she painfully admits, “When you hit me, it does not feel like a kiss,” interpolating and reclaiming The Crystals’ “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)” for herself and others (including the song’s subject). “High Horse” begins with atmospheric guitar scrapes guiding her singing about the same type of relationship. “If the words I’ve written have fallen apart / It’s insecurity, it’s violence starting to get to my heart,” she warns. As louder guitars enter, she screams, “Your world’s on fire, as I watch up from my high horse / Your world’s on fire, and I walk away.” For a term like “high horse,” often unfairly used to label a woman as stuck up, Dabice, if not reclaiming it, will accept it over the relationship she’s in. She knows herself better than anyone else. “Everyone says to me / Missy, you’re so strong / But what if I don’t wanna be?” she proposes on instant classic breakup anthem “Drunk II”.

Throughout Patience, the band acts as a support system, pulling back when it’s Dabice’s time to tell a story, charging ahead with her on confrontational dirges and positive jams. First and foremost, the chemistry between everyone is simply impressive. Take the way Dabice chants and screams in conjunction with the buoyant guitars on “Cream”, or alternates in conversation with bassist Colins "Bear” Regisford on “Clams”. On penultimate track “F.U.C.A.W.”, over sludgy bass and piercing guitar tones, she takes no prisoners: “What did you say to me, boy? / Come on and spit it in my face.” But it’s the two positive tracks--one about self-love, one about loving someone else--that stand out, remarkable in the context of the trauma presented on the album. “I did not choose my life and I won’t choose my death,” Dabice wisely sings on “Who You Are”, talking to a younger version of herself over power pop chords and country rhythm riffs. “Who taught you to hate the way you are? / If I were you, there’s not a thing I would restart.” And on closer “In Love Again”, she reassures others that “it keeps gettin’ better.” Kaleen Reading’s impressively complex drum-and-bongo rhythms drive the album to its conclusion, completing the rare album that feels both ultimately uplifting and honest.

Album score: 8.9/10

Patience by MANNEQUIN PUSSY

Sacramento rockers Destroy Boys and Hamilton, Ontario dream pop project Ellis open.

Massive Attack, Chicago Theatre

You must have heard the drill: On their Mezzaninexx1 tour, Massive Attack are celebrating their landmark 1998 album Mezzanine by touring it with none other than Cocteau Twins’ Liz Fraser (who contributed vocals to its best known songs). The show was already postponed once, so I’m sure fans are clamoring for this. 

[raybansandcoffee]

Los Angeles, When Will You Save Me? - Chapter One: Welcome Home (Joy Williams)

First off, I am so sorry about the delay in getting the first official chapter of Los Angeles, When Will You Save Me? posted. Winter has been hell. The weather in Iowa has been so spastic I’ve basically had a constant migraine since January. My oldest cat was sick off and on which has resulted in $200 in vet bills in the last month, thankfully none of it is life threatening. I’ve decided that running my own business and trying to fulfill my creative need by writing isn’t enough and have been working on launching a podcast with a close friend of mine. Then February decided to go out with a fucking bang and a panic attack as one of my closest friends was diagnosed with cancer which led to an incredibly dark period for me.

I need to find solace in my writing but this story was too heavy, too real for me to do that so I started writing something different. One of the hugest parts of my anxiety is perfectionism. I don’t like doing something if I can’t make it perfect. Today I realized something incredibly important:

Done is better than perfect.

So here it is, a completed chapter one. I hope you enjoy it and can’t wait to hear what you think about it.

Again, thank you for sticking with me through all of this.

Chapter One: Welcome Home (Joy Williams)

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Harry asked as he walked into the gym. I was just finishing a ride on my Peloton and he looked prepared for his morning work out. 

“Not really.”

“Hey Harry,” Dad called through the video chat we were doing while we did the ride together.

“Good morning, Marco. Should I blame you for the reason my girlfriend didn’t sleep last night?”

“That’s not my fault. Blame that Horcrux of hers. I got an email from her at 3:30AM, your time not mine.” It was currently 6:45 so Harry knew if I slept it was for only a handful of hours.

“Evie,” Harry said in his concerned tone of voice.

“What? I had a lot of work to do.”

“I’m gonna bow out of this conversation now. Have a good day. Love ya, Bambina.”

“Love ya, Dad.” The video ended and stepped off of the bike. I got on my tip toes to kiss Harry. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. You should’ve slept last night.”

“I missed the staff meeting yesterday because of the follow-up appointment Pops had with his cardiologist. So I had to read through the notes, get back with some of my staff on things and get prepped for a few conference calls and meetings that I have today.”

“Does this mean you’re leaving the house to work?”

“No, they are all with the New York and London teams. So they are video chats.”

“Everlee.”

“Just stop. I’m working from home again today. It’s okay.”

“You’re eventually going to have to go back to normal life.”

“I am back to normal life,” I argued. “Just an altered version of normal life.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” He was frustrated with me but he was being as supportive as he could be. “I have a meeting with the team to plan our recording sessions today. I’d like for my manager to attend, but we aren’t having the meeting in this house.” I hesitated. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s a lunch meeting.” I scrolled through my schedule on my phone. 

“I can do a lunch meeting.”

“Good. Now go shower, you smell disgusting.” Harry smiled as he kissed me. I walked out of the gym and into the morning air. A few steps from the gym and I snuck into the kitchen to find a fresh pot of coffee.

“Good morning, Everlee,” Linda said. She handed me the breakfast I’d gotten in the habit of eating every morning.

“Hey kiddo,” Pops called from the island where he was enjoying a cup of coffee, reading through the news on his iPad and eating breakfast. I walked towards him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Done with your morning workout already? It’s a bit early for you.”

“Yeah, Dad and I scheduled a Peloton ride together.”

“You two are having way too much fun with that.” I’d gotten one for Dad’s birthday for him while also buying one for myself.

“Hey, at least I’m being healthy.”

“Which I love,” Pops replied. “Are you going into the office today?” 

“Nope. I’ve got conference calls and video meetings. Though Harry is dragging me to lunch with the team he’s selected for his album. They are discussing the recording schedule.”

“When does he leave for Jamaica?”

“End of the month.” I slid into the seat beside my father. 

“You prepared to be apart again?”

“Not really. But it’s our life. We will always have time apart because of our careers.”

“I’m sorry, kiddo.” 

“Eh, it’s life. I better go shower though. My first conference call is in an hour and it’s a video conference.” I groaned as I stood up. 

“I’ll come down and see you a little later.” I kissed Pops on the cheek again before walking back outside and through the deck and outdoor area to the guest house. I slid the door open to find Harold curled up on the couch. He meowed at me. 

“Good morning, bud.” I scratched his head a little bit. “Mummy is gonna go shower.” As I headed towards the bathroom the cat jumped down off of the couch and followed me. It had been an adjustment period for us. Harry and I had been sharing his 4 bedroom, 5 bathroom, 4,400 square foot home near the Sunset Strip, sure Ty and Eliza had been living with us but they were rarely there because of work and their relationships. Once Pops was released from the hospital I moved into the guest house I’d lived in at his house in college. I refused to be away from him. Harry, not wanting to be away from me, packed up his stuff, the cat, and most of my things to move in with me at my father’s. 

It had been an adjustment the first six weeks that we’d been here but we were starting to get into a groove. I’d get up in the morning, work out, shower, get some work done, spend time with my father, and we’d all have dinner together. Harry was almost acting as Pops’ personal trainer. They’d play tennis, basketball, go on hikes, swim, and spend time in the gym that was in the house. I’d even witness Pops doing yoga with Harry which was something I never in a million years imagined I’d see. 

I’d been refusing to leave the house to go to work at the office. Kammi and Cameron were, of course, supportive of it. They knew I needed to be home with Pops for a while. For the most part, everyone had been really supportive. When Cynthia found out that I’d been using the coffee table that was near the couch in the guest house, which was essentially a really nice studio apartment, she showed up and went to work. The guest houses on the property were right next to each other. They were all rarely used except the one Pops had converted into a gym when he bought the house, in fact, the one Harry and I were living in hadn’t been used since I lived here in college. We even found some of my stuff still in the closet. She put the bedroom furniture of another guest house into storage in the house and within 48 hours designed and put together a dream office for me. Unlike my office at SME, it was all white, calming, and very serene. Harry had put me in a car, driven me to the Apple Store and told me to buy everything I needed to have a home office. I’d always just functioned off of my laptop when I was at home because I’d had roommates and nowhere to have a desk. I even went overboard and bought two iMacs so that if he was in there with me he could be on a computer as Cynthia had put two desks in there. There was still comfy furniture so if someone was there with me or if Harry or Pops came out to hang out while I worked they didn’t have to sit in a chair at my desk or if I needed to relax for a few minutes between calls I could. Kammi would occasionally come and work with me here so we could spend some time together and I could get some face time with people that weren’t my father, my boyfriend, Linda, Cynthia, Rachel or the twins. 

It had been nice to have Cynthia and the girls around the house again. It gave the house life when they’d all show up for dinner or a Saturday by the pool or on the horses. It was almost as if we were a family again. I had been pressuring Cynthia to talk to my father. I heard her in the hospital telling him he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere because she needed to talk to him. Here we were, six weeks later and she’d said nothing. He just thought that because he’d nearly died everyone was afraid to leave him alone. I knew that it was because she was hopelessly in love with him but still afraid to tell him that.

As I stood in the shower I heard my phone vibrate on the sink a few times. I tried to ignore it. It wasn’t even 8:00 yet. Everyone had been doing really great about not contacting me outside of normal business hours. They knew that if they did I’d work 24/7 which was unhealthy and a habit that Pops, Cameron, Kammi, and the Board were trying to break me of. Mom and Dad had made a trip out when Pops was first released from the hospital. They wanted to make sure I was okay and that Pops was okay. The boys were able to come with them and against my better judgment, Pops pushed me out of the house to spend time with them. It was nice to see them and spend time with them for a while. Mom was concerned and still is, about the fact that I’d moved home with Pops. She didn’t want me to give up my life to take care of him, but she got it. She knew it was temporary, I just wanted to be close to him in case something else happened. I had gone far enough to outfit every room on the property with one of those damn Amazon Echos so that no matter where he was I could talk to him. Harry wasn’t a huge fan of it but he knew that his girlfriend who dealt with severe anxiety needed to be able to reach her father wherever he was to settle her anxiety.

I got out of the shower and towel dried my hair before getting dressed. I’d chopped my hair short a few weeks ago. My stylist told me that it was something she’d been anticipated after she heard about Pops. Evidently, it was totally normal for people to go through massive changes in their physical appearance after traumatic experiences. She was also placing bets on how long it would be before I appeared back in the salon asking for extensions because of how much I loved having long hair. I must admit, it was easier to get ready in the morning and often times I just allowed my hair to air dry and embrace the slight wave my hair had naturally. Knowing I was going to lunch with Harry and his team I put on a pair of skinny jeans that were a little ripped and a vintage tee that Harry had bought for me recently. I would normally work in clothing that fell in the athleisure category since I didn’t really leave the house unless I absolutely had to. I grabbed my laptop off the coffee table, my planner, Harold, and a few other things before heading towards my office. 

“Alexa, turn on my morning playlist,” I said as I slide the door open and walked into my office leaving the screen door open so I could enjoy the morning air while I worked.

“Playing Evie’s Morning Playlist on Spotify,” the computerized voice replied. I plugged in my MacBook Pro and woke up the iMac while I got settled in at my desk. I had a routine every morning. First I’d turn on the morning playlist I’d made on Spotify and then turn on the giant TV that hung on the wall with CNN on with it on mute with closed captioning so I could stay up-to-date on the news while I worked. Then I look at my calendar and updated my to do list in Wunderlist so I knew what my tasks were for the day. After that, I’d check my email and see if there’s anything I need to add while prioritizing what I needed to reply to and when. I would always send out the morning update to my team with everything that I needed by the end of the day. I’d become surprisingly productive and followed this same routine every morning. 

Living without an assistant a few feet away had been a challenge at first. I debated back and forth on if I wanted to have Eliza working here with me every day, we’d even tried it for a week and gave up. Sharing the office space with her wasn’t productive for me and it had seemed incredibly uncomfortable for everyone involved. I wasn’t keeping the hours I normally did. There wasn’t a cafeteria so if you wanted to eat it was in the kitchen in the main house. I’d adjusted, she hadn’t. So she went back to work at the office. I think the amount of time Harry spent in the office with me bothered her a bit. He’d been a great help, often bouncing ideas with me when I needed human interaction. He also spent time working on his stuff while I worked, which was surprisingly nice. Since we’d set the space up as an office for both of us he was in here with me for part of the day most days. Though on days that Kammi came to work with me he’d hand off his desk and work from the couch if he felt like invading girl time. We even tried Eliza spending a few hours here once a week until a week ago when she asked if she could stop doing that. She said it wasn’t conducive to her work style. I could respect that. The work life I had set up now wasn’t for everyone. But that meant her job was shifting because she wasn’t really working for me anymore. Harry had suggested I look at getting a personal assistant, someone that could help with some of the stuff that Eliza had done that kept me organized but more specifically someone that could help me with things like running errands and making sure that my personal life was organized. I knew that what he was suggesting made sense but the fear of Eliza’s reaction had me hesitating to start the search for one.

At the request of Cameron, Kammi, and the board my responsibilities had started to shift because of the change with Pops. We’d temporarily promoted Pops’ #2 to take over his management roles and some of mine had shifted to several of my top employees in LA so that I could be the daughter I needed to be. It had been a challenge, I wasn’t always the best delegator but I trusted the people beneath me and knew that they were not only capable of taking on more but also deserved the chance to shine. I’d been so impressed by their work. I met with the once per week. Sometimes it was in a coffee shop as an excuse to get me out of the house. Sometimes they came over to the house and we’d hang out on the deck, enjoy some of Linda’s delicious food and the gorgeous view from my Pops’ house. And I’d even tried going into the office to meet with them once, that had been a nightmare. The second I walked in the door everyone was in my face. I hadn’t been in the office in two weeks at that point and Pops hadn’t either so everyone wanted to know how everything was going. It had been extremely overwhelming. I’d actually locked myself in my office and had a panic attack as soon as I made it through the building. It was too much being there and having everyone ask questions and try and get time with me. After that day I’d been afraid to go back into the office. 

I’d not disclosed that panic attack to anyone but my therapist who I was now seeing twice a week. She was trying to prepare me mentally for the idea that someday I’d have to go back to work in the office while also working through the emotional repercussions of all of the changes happening in my life. Processing my father nearly dying had been hard. I didn’t talk for two days and had remained relatively quiet until he got out of the hospital and I started living with him again. My relationships with my friends and family had changed, which she told me constantly was normal. I’d experienced something extremely traumatic and only those who felt that same kind of trauma would get what I’d gone through or at least try to be supportive. I’d found myself growing apart from people I thought were essential to my existence and closer to people that at one point in my life I’d wished didn’t exist in my life. Harry had started joining me for one of the appointments with me each week. We’d struggled initially after my decision to move in with Pops. Living in a guest house together had been quite the adjustment. We’d fought a few times, once to the point that I slept on the couch in my office. I woke up the next morning to Harry sleeping on the floor beside me. He started crying and telling me that he was done fighting, he wanted to do whatever he needed to do to support me. That was when we decided he’d start joining me with my therapist on occasion. The experience initially had tried to pull us apart but honestly, we were closer now than we had been before.

“Hey there, buddy,” I said to Harold as he jumped up onto my desk looking for a few scratches behind his ear. He immediately meowed back at me. He was an extremely talkative cat. I loved that he was so happy coming to my office with me during the day. Sometimes he’d lay on the couch but most of the time he’d occupy a spot on my desk so that he could be part of everything that was going on. Sometimes he’d try to jump into the view of my video conferences. My staff and clients had become big fans of Harold’s appearances. I saw the request pop up in the corner of my screen for my first video chat, this one was with the head of my department in London. It would likely take about a half hour. In an hour I had one scheduled with the head of the department in New York. They’d each stepped up immediately taking over the weekly staff meetings that I usually video conferenced in for. Today they’d touch base with me to let me know how the staff meeting had gone. Then this afternoon I’d touch base with the staff in Chicago and LA that were handling the offices for me. We were working towards a quarterly meeting at the end of next week that would be held here in LA. As soon as the video chat with London ended a new request came in, this one from Kammi.

“Hey,” I answered as I leaned back in my chair with my iced coffee.

“Happy Monday!” she said cheerily, she had clearly had more coffee than I had so far.

“You’re still too fucking cheery in the morning.”

“Sorry, not sorry. How is the morning so far?” 

“Not too bad. The video conference with London went well. The portion of the staff that will be here next week for quarterly meetings is excited.”

“Are you?”

“Fuck no,” I replied laughing. “I hate quarterly meetings. If I get a second of sleep between now and the end of next week I’ll be surprised.”

“You clearly didn’t get any last night,” she said. I’d emailed her at 4:00 this morning. I shrugged. “I know that they prescribed you sleeping pills. You need to take them.” She and Harry clearly talked about that last night when she, Nick, and Ty joined us for Sunday dinner.

“I hate that you and my boyfriend share everything. Nothing is sacred.”

“No, certain things are sacred. I don’t tell him what you tell me unless I’m super concerned for your safety.”

“I know. Thank you for that. How’s the office today?” I asked.

“Strange,” she replied. “Ty is lonely so he keeps coming in my office.”

“Why is he lonely?”

“They moved Eliza off of your desk, she was officially done at the end of the day Friday.” I frowned. “Yeah, it’s fucking weird. Until they determine where she’s permanently going to be she’s working the front desk.”

“Ouch. That’s the worst assignment. I feel bad.”

“Don’t,” Kammi ordered. “You gave her a chance. You did everything you could to make your current situation conducive for her and she couldn’t make it work. That’s not your fault. Ty is having a rough time with it though.” We’d recently promoted Ty. He wasn’t just running Kammi’s desk anymore, he was the person who was placed in charge of all of the executive assistants in the office. It had been Pops’ assistant before but with his change, she decided it was time to retire. She’d been planning to retire at the end of the year so Pops’ agreed to pay out the remainder of the year so she could start retirement early.

“Tell him I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Ev. It’s not your fault,” came Ty’s voice. He appeared behind Kammi and sat on the back part of her desk. “She’s been a real bitch to deal with lately. When I told her that if she wasn’t going to work to accommodate what you need we’d have to move her she got super pissy. She stopped staying at the house a week ago.”

“Is she staying with you?” I asked Kammi.

“Nope. Neither of us has any idea where she’s staying. Honestly, even Joe has no idea where she’s been staying. She also turned off her location on ‘Find My Friends’ after her fight with Ty. Well technically after the fight with Joe when he defended Ty.”

“I wonder why she’s getting pissed at you guys?” I hated this. I got that my life had been disrupted but seeing how everyone else’s lives were changing because of it was hard to deal with. 

“Here’s what I figure,” Ty started. I could tell by his tone and body language that I should get comfortable as he was going to explain what was going on in detail. “She’s not sure how to handle what you’re dealing with. I mean how the fuck long did it take her to come to see you and Jimmy when he was in the hospital?”

“Four days,” I said. It had been four days after they landed from the East Coast before she came. Ty had made Kammi, Nick and Joe stay out of the hospital the night they got home because of how fucked up I was. They showed up about two hours after Pops woke up. Joe had made excuses every time he came that Eliza had come down with a cold and didn’t want to get Pops sick. She showed up looking like she felt great and made no mention of being sick. I’d never asked what really kept her away, I honestly didn’t want to know. 

“Exactly. It took me about four minutes after I found out to get in a car and get to you. Kammi was on a plane within four hours. Then when she gets back and you declare you’re moving out of the house and not only did you move home with Jimmy but so did Harry she saw that you were in a relationship solid enough that he was willing to give up literally the best house I’ve ever lived in to move into the guest house you started living in at 16 just so he could be with you. Then when Maureen decided to retire and the board decided that I was the one that would replace her she was pissed. She ranted for like two fucking hours about how she thought that she was better suited for the job than I was, which by the way she’s fucking not. I pointed out to her that she never wanted this job.” He was right, she hadn’t. She’d told me initially she expected she’d have the job for like six months while she got settled in LA and then she’d be gone because she’d be acting and bartending. “She, of course, got fucking pissed that I pointed that out, so when she told me that she was going to focus on her ‘acting career’ I told her that the only reasonable thing I could do until she showed she was fully committed to her job was put her at the front desk because there was a crew of people who worked the desk. If she decides she’s done then I’ve got back up. It’s not like putting her on someone else’s desk. If she decides she hates it and leaves then I have to fucking rehire someone or train someone from the front desk. Which, by the way, Harry told me last night that he wanted you to hire someone that could do some of what Eliza did but more personal assistant type shit. I’ve got a few candidates from around here that I think would work. You say the word and I’ll get meetings set up.”

“What would I do without you two?” I asked. I could feel tears pricking my eyes.

“You’d be super fucking lonely,” Ty said. I laughed.

“True story,” I replied.

“We are working from your house tomorrow,” Kammi said. “I’m dragging Ty with me.” He normally stayed in the office when she came to see me during the week. It gave him a chance to do the managerial stuff he needed to do. 

“Yay!” I cheered as I picked up Harold and made the cat cheer too.

“It’s mainly because I miss the cat being my roommate,” Ty tried to get out without laughing. “We can talk more about what you’d be looking for in an assistant tomorrow.”

“Okay. I’m just afraid to look for one.”

“Why?” Kammi asked.

“I don’t want Eliza to get more pissed than she already is.”

“That is not your problem to worry about,” Harry said as he slid the screen door open. 

“Hey Harry,” Kammi and Ty said in unison. He came to my desk and sat on my lap. 

“Hi, miss you,” he replied.

“You saw us yesterday. You’re lying that you miss us unless you’re really tired of living with Ev in The Tiny House.” Kammi had started referring to our living situation as The Tiny House, it made me laugh because while we were living in a much smaller footprint than we were before the reality was we had everything we needed and a few steps away was everything you could ever imagine in the main house. She just couldn’t understand how we were making it work. She wanted to kill Nick most days because of the whole shared room thing. It didn’t help that they also lived with Joe. 

“I do miss you both. Am I allowed to work in the office with you all tomorrow?” 

“Of course, Harry,” Ty answered. “Evs, if you can’t find an assistant that works for a while, Kammi and I have decided that I can come out once a week to help you make sure that your schedule is put together for the week, that all the meetings are confirmed. I can handle the extra responsibility for a while.”

“I love you both so much. I’m excited for tomorrow now,” I said. “But I’m getting the 10-minute warning for my New York meeting.”

“Enjoy that,” Kammi replied. “We will see you at 8:30 tomorrow.”

“Yay!!! Bye!!” I ended the call.

“Ty is going to help you find an assistant?” Harry asked as he went to sit down at his desk.

“He is. He’s evidently been scouting people from the pool in the office for me today.”

“So what was it about Eliza?” 

“Her last day on my desk was Friday.”

“We knew that was coming.”

“We did. But Ty told me today that he told her last week that he couldn’t move her onto someone else’s desk knowing that they may have to quickly find a replacement knowing that she wasn’t fully committed to the job.”

“She’s not fully committed?” Harry asked.

“Evidently not. So she’s on the front desk.” I saw him cringe. “Exactly. It’s the worst job in the entire place. The phones ring non-stop, she won’t have a guaranteed daytime schedule anymore because everyone has to work in rotations. I fear that she’s going to fucking hate me for this because somehow it’s going to end up my fault.”

“It’s not your fault but I understand why you’re uneasy about it.” Eliza had been difficult to deal with and that was being polite. I had done so great and not flipped out on her about everything, but I knew that if she said anything about her new job that was even remotely negative that it was a risk. I got it, my life and job changing was causing her job to change. I wanted to scream when she’d complain about that. I didn’t ask for this change in my life. I’d go back to being a workaholic in a heartbeat to change the fact that my Pops had a heart attack. She was being selfish, which wasn’t totally abnormal, but was pretty shocking considering everything that had happened. 

“I just hate when there are problems. If there’s an issue between two people in The Circus it makes everything awkward and weird. We had this problem once before.”

“What happened then?” Harry asked.

“Weirdly enough it was Eliza and Nick. He made an admittedly funny but very bad joke when we were all drinking at the condo one night. She’d been on a bender and had a different guy come home with her every night for like 10 days. She got pissed and didn’t talk to him for almost a month.”

“Ouch. What do you mean bender? Like drugs or drinking or just men?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know. I tried not to ask because I was worried about her but knew that if I made any comments she’d do the same thing to me that she was to Nick. She’d broken up with some guy that she thought was the one, they’d been dating for maybe three or four months but she is often times crazy when she’s in relationships. There was so much tension among the whole group. It just sucked.”

“I’m sure everything will work out in the end.” Harry was attempting to calm me knowing I was about to get on another conference call. He stood from his side of the desk and came over to me. He bent down and gently kissed my lips. “Whatever happens remember that I love you.”

“I love you too.” One more kiss and he headed back to his side of the desk and slid on headphones knowing that my conference call would likely bore him to death. Everything went well and was over in less time than I expected. I kept working until Harry decided we needed to leave for his lunch meeting. It was an incredibly nice day in LA so when I made it up to the driveway with my stuff I found him sitting in my Jeep with the top off. He had sunglasses on and his goofy smile plastered across his face. I threw my bag into the back and climbed up into the passenger seat. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were this born and bred California surfer in this thing. Tan skin, wayfarers, and a floral shirt. You look just like the boys I brought home from the beach in high school.” He laughed loudly at the last comment.

“I’m sure I do. It’s easy to get a tan like this if you leave your office for more than a short walk to the house or gym every day.”

“Shut up. Not all of us have time to lay around in the pool or run shirtless on the horse trail.” 

“You could have time, you can take a break every once in a while.”

“I know. We both also know that I’m not very good at taking breaks. I took time when Pops was in the hospital, I can’t now. Too much work to do.” He reached his hand across the car and grabbed mine. Our fingers interlocked as he brought it to his lips kissing the back of it. His rings felt cool against the inside of my fingers. After his lips left my hand he returned it to my lap so he could focus on driving. He expertly navigated his way through the area my father lived into the restaurant that his lunch meeting was at. 

I zoned out easily these days. It didn’t matter if I was alone or with a group of people my mind would wander and I’d lose track of everything else happening around me. This happened most frequently in a car, thankfully it was usually only when I wasn’t driving, though that had happened once. I got home and sat in the driveway sobbing until Harry came out to find me and asked what was wrong. I was terrified that I’d driven from an appointment across town to the house and had no idea how long it had taken or how I’d gotten home. That was the first week we’d been living here. I hadn’t driven much since then. Harry or Sam took me everywhere. It was odd. I missed driving. I missed the freedom of being in a car alone but I understood why Harry had decided to hide every set of car keys to every car that either of us or my Pops owned. This ride was like the rest. I stared blankly at the scenery and watched the world fly by. I could hear Harry singing along to the radio but couldn’t pinpoint the song which was rare. 

“Evie…Ev…Everlee Mae Scarcello.” Harry snapped in front of my eyes breaking me of the trance. “Where were you at babe?”

“Sorry,” I replied.

“Don’t apologize. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a long day and I’m a little overwhelmed right now.”

“Call Ty and have him cancel your afternoon,” he suggested. I’d been up late the night before working as I had been most nights. I was often lucky if I got more than a handful of hours of sleep at a time. I hadn’t slept a full night since I’d been in France with Harry for the final time.

“I can’t do that.”

“Then I will.” He grabbed his phone from where he usually threw it into a cupholder and I watched as he hit Ty’s entry in his favorites. They’d been communicating so frequently that I was pretty sure he’d rearranged it so Ty was the easiest entry to click. 

“You can’t do that,” I protested.

“I can and I am.”

“Harry this is my work and my life. You can’t do this.” He glared at me and I quieted. He could do this. Cameron and Jimmy had given him this power when they all realized that I was struggling. He did it often which had initially pissed me off. “Hey Ty,”I heard him say. He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. “Yeah, we just got the restaurant. She’s out of it. Can you reschedule her afternoon?” His thumb rubbed across the back of my hand as he listened to Ty. “I’ll let you know later today how she’s doing for tomorrow. I need to get her to take the sleeping pills her doctor gave her so she can sleep. Her day tomorrow is just you and Kammi here, right?” I don’t know how I got so lucky to have Harry in my life. I was an absolute fucking mess most of the time and he was doing everything he could to help me navigate through and survive it. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later and see you in the morning.” He hung up the phone and I turned to look at him. “Ty canceled the rest of the day. When we’re done we are going to go do something to help you relax a little.”

“Okay,” I responded quietly. I held his hand once out of the car as we walked into the restaurant. I tried to put on my best happy face and not appear like the fragile shell of a human I was right now. He’d been delaying this album for too long all because of me. I felt immensely guilty and was pretty sure that his team hated me for it at this point. 

“Hey Ev,” Mitch greeted as he hugged me. 

“Hey, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m good. We are all happy you could make it.” He and Harry had instantly bonded when they met in spring. He was a great guy and an incredible musician. I’d really enjoyed watching them form this really amazing musical bond. They often sat with drinks on the deck at Pops house with guitars, notebooks, and a laptop. I’d sit in my office working, with the door open, listening to them and the sound of Harry’s voice as it drifted into the room. I’d hold off as long as I could before grabbing my laptop of iPad to go sit with them and listen. More than once I’d found Pops out there with them. 

The lunch meeting was great. Harry was getting so excited for them to take off to Jamaica. I tried to stay out of their plans for that. I knew that the teams were anxious to leave and that having to put off the trip more than once was inconvenient, to say the least. But they all had been the kindest people through the process. Hell, the first week we’d been living with Pops after he’d been released from the hospital Jeff, Alex, and Tyler showed up at the house with the most amazing spread of food and tried to help us all relax. My father was really enjoying the amount of life that everyone brought to his house, despite the heart attack and everything that had happened he seemed to be the happiest I’d seen him in years. 

“Are you going to come with us for a while?” Jeff asked. I snapped out of my wandering thoughts when I realized he was talking to me.

“I don’t know. Right now is a difficult time for me to leave. I have so much work right now that I will probably remain attached to a laptop for the next 12 months solid. You’ll have to keep this guy in line for me,” I said as I squeezed Harry’s shoulder with my hand. He bent his head to the side kissing my fingers. 

“I hope she can make it for at least a visit or two while we are gone,” he added. He had really been trying to convince me that I could come with. That working remotely was possible because I’d been doing it from my laptop at the house for the last six weeks. He knew that it wasn’t just about work, it was about leaving Pops. They’d be gone for a minimum of a month but likely 6-8 weeks if things were going well and they wanted a bit more time. Leaving home for that long seemed terrifying. What if Pops got sick again and I was gone? What if he needed me? What if he got lonely? As if he knew I was thinking about him I saw my phone light up on the table with a text from him.

Message with Pops

Pops: Are you done working for the day? I stopped in your office and you weren’t there?

I’m at lunch with Harry, Jeff, Tyler, Alex, and Mitch.

Pops: Ahh the boys club. You always did tend to fit into those groups.

As I sit here listening to them I feel like I’m in a parallel universe. This is what life would’ve been like if I hadn’t quit Designated Hitter and hadn’t forced Kyle to start drumming in that band and sent him on tour. 

Pops: Oh god. That would’ve been pretty terrifying. Okay…what I was actually texting you about. I just got off the phone with Cynthia. She and your sisters are coming over for dinner tonight. Evidently you girls need to get to work on planning a baby shower.

Shit. I forgot I was supposed to call Kayci to set up lunch this week. I’m the worst sister ever. Fuck. Do you need me to pick something up?

Pops: Nope. Linda has everything covered. You’re also not the worst sister ever. You’re busy, they get it. Just prepare Harry. He usually seems a bit overwhelmed when you five women are all in a room together. Oh and Kourt is bringing her new boyfriend. Though Cynthia tells me that Kayci is pissed about that because her boyfriend just broke up with her? I can’t keep up with all of you. Rachel has at least had the same guy since she was 6.

It’s because she’s weird. Kayci and Dylan did break up over the weekend. How did you not miss her sobs? She sent out the Bat signal to the sisters and everyone arrived at the house at about 12:30 Friday night. I felt bad for Rach and Harry. We all ended up a bit drunk, well except Rachel because well pregnant. Harry I think slept in my office most of the night. Rachel slept on the couch, Kourtney passed out in a lounger on the deck and we found Kayci on the floor of the bathroom using a towel as a blanket. It was a mess. 

Pops: I did wonder why they were there Saturday morning and why Kayci didn’t leave until Sunday night. You’re a good big sister.

I try and because I’m the one willing to drink with her and because Kourtney likes to lecture her for smoking pot. I, of course, can’t. 

Pops: You’re still a good sister. Your three sisters and three brothers are lucky to have you.  Speaking of sisters…Kayci just walked in looking for you. She said she’ll be waiting in the pool. I think she hates her roommates and this is just an excuse. Now stop paying attention to me and participate in your meeting. You worry that Brit when you zone out.

I know. It happened on the way here again. I swear he’s never going to let me drive a car again because I can’t be in one right now without having any clue what is going on. Also, Kayci does hate her roommates, with a passion. I’m surprised she hasn’t moved into the other guest house or back into her old bedroom. Okay…okay, back to work. I’ll see you both when we get home.

“What was that?” Harry whispered to me.

“Pops. Evidently, Cynthia and the girls are coming over for dinner. I flaked on my sister duties and didn’t text the girls about setting up a lunch to plan Rachel’s baby shower.”

“Shit. You were supposed to call them this morning.”

“I know. So be prepared, dinner with my family tonight.”

“Good, you know I love them. And you. Mostly you.” He kissed me quickly before falling right back into the conversation with everyone at the table.

Message with Kayci Grant

You okay, sis?

Kayci: I’m fine. My roommates are annoying. And fucking Dylan called me drunk last night.

Please tell me you didn’t invite him over.

Kayci: I didn’t. I’m not THAT fucking dumb. He was trying to apologize but I knew that he didn’t mean it. He was drunk. He just wanted to get laid. I kept telling myself what you and Rachel told me Friday night. He doesn’t deserve me. I deserve so much better than him and someday I’m going to find my person and it’s not Dylan.

Definitely NOT Dylan. No one that cheats on you deserves a second chance. You are a first class, five star, James Beard award-winning, four months to get a Monday night reservation level catch. He doesn’t even deserve to be handed out through a fucking drive-thru.

Kayci: You are the best. Also now I’m hungry. Tell the Brit to hurry up the fucking meeting and get you home.

I’ll do my best but he’s currently in the process of planning a trip to leave me and record an album so I’m feeling a little woe is me.

Kayci: If you need a roommate while he’s gone I can come live with you and Harold. 

Oh, I know you would. We will be home soon. I’ll text when we are on our way.

I slipped my phone into my purse and tried to focus back in on the conversation. They settled on dates to head to Jamaica for the third time since starting this process and we were back in the car headed home. Harry was always so talkative when we left. He loved the guys that were part of this team. It was like a dream for him. They supported every, single, idea and decision he had. He’d lay in bed at night gushing to me about how amazing they were making work. I loved listening to him ramble on and on and on about how different this experience was already from everything else he’d experienced and they hadn’t even taken off for the bulk of their recording.

“So I have to warn you, Kayci is at the house already.”

“Good, there’s no way you can go back to work if she’s there.”

“I know. I’m honestly surprised that she hasn’t asked Pops if she can move back into her old room. She hates her roommates. She can afford to live without them but they were her best friends when she was in school. They are all still in school and she’s working so life is different for them.”

“Also when you consider that working for your sister is essentially playing dress up, at least how the roommates view it, they seem pretty judgmental.” The twins had turned 22 three weeks ago. Harry had drug me out of the house to spend time with them while they celebrated. It was the first time I’d met Kourtney’s boyfriend Max and the first time Harry had really met anyone outside of the twins, Rachel and Luke. Her roommates had been a nightmare. They did judge Kayci. She’d met them when she was a student, she had decided to take some time off from college after her freshman year because she was offered a fairly large modeling contract and had started working on her music. They hated that. They were all still struggling through their senior year and hoping to get into grad school or law school and here was Kayci getting paid to fly around and put on expensive clothes. They were bitter and jealous. 

Kourtney had opted to get her own place when they went to school. She lived in a super cute studio in West Hollywood so it wasn’t like her sister could move in with her. I had suggested that she move back home with Cynthia but it was not an option for Kayci. When it was just she and her Mom they argued constantly. They were so much alike. Their arguments were ridiculous and often that they agreed with each other and hated it. She also had been with Dylan for almost a year so she barely stayed with her roommates until the last month or so when he had started making excuses that she couldn’t be there which turned out to be because he was cheating on her. I knew if she asked that Jimmy would give her the final guest house or even let her have her old bedroom back. The house was big enough that it was one of the few times growing up that the twins hadn’t been forced to share a bedroom. 

“Yeah, it’s a bad situation for her.”

“I’ve thought about telling her to just move into the house until we get back but the idea of having she, Eliza, and Ty alone there is a little unsettling.”

“Eliza isn’t staying at the house.”

“Where is she staying?”

“I don’t know. Actually, no one does.”

“Do you have any ideas?” he asked. He was concerned, I could tell. Despite how things had been going lately we all still cared about Eliza, though I’m sure she’d say we didn’t.

“No idea, honestly. Maybe an ex, maybe someone she worked with when she was bartending, a friend from one of her acting classes, or some new guy. She also could be staying in a hotel for all I know. She and Ty got into a fight and he’s not seen her since other than work and there she’s essentially ignoring him.”

“What is all of this about?” 

“Her demotion.” And again the wave of guilt washed over me. Eliza had been my best friend since she was about five hours old. I hadn’t had a pleasant conversation with her in weeks.

“This isn’t your fault. I know you’re internalizing a lot of blame. Stop doing that.”

“I’d like to point out that I hate that you can read my mind,” I replied turning to face him in the car and smiling a bit. “It’s annoying because when I’m trying to have will power you make me fail.”

“I personally love that it’s my newest superpower. So how can I help you with not blaming yourself?”

“I don’t know.” I didn’t honestly have a clue. “I want to fix everything but that’s what I’ve always done. Eliza and I have always been close but we’ve also always fought. She has a wicked jealous streak and can be incredibly vindictive when she wants. At this point, I’m sure she’s jealous that everyone’s focus has been me because it was my Pops that almost died. She doesn’t like when the spotlight isn’t on her.”

“I’m sorry, Evie. You don’t deserve this extra stress. She also should know that she needs to be a better friend but I’m beginning to see that she isn’t really capable of that. I hate saying that because I know how much she means to you but you deserve better than to be treated like this.”

“You’re right. I don’t deserve this. But honestly, there’s not much I can do about it right now. I am just going to give her the space she so clearly needs and keep plugging away at everything I’m doing to make life better for me, for us, and for my family.” He squeezed my hand in his.

“I’m proud of you for how strong you’ve been through all of this. It hasn’t been easy to watch your Pops go through everything and you’ve been the most incredible daughter through it all. If we’re being honest, I don’t even completely mind that we gave up our dream house in the hills to live in a guest house. Getting to build a relationship like I have with your Pops has been pretty great.”

“I love you. Honestly, I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do.” He plugged in the code to the gate and pulled to where we left my Jeep in the driveway which was next to where Kayci’s Mercedes was sitting. We got out and started to walk to the back. “I’m gonna let you have some time alone with your sister. Okay?” I nodded before he kissed me and walked towards our guest house.

“Kayci,” I called as I walked towards the pool. I found her on a raft, her foot anchoring her to the side where a beer sat on the edge. She was staring at her phone.

“Hey sis,” she called back.

“Drinking already?”

“I needed a beer and Pops always has my favorite here.” Her favorite was a random craft beer we’d found at a dive bar on a sister road trip that we all went on to celebrate the twins turning 21 last year and as a last hoorah of the four sisters all being “single” or at least as single as the four of us could all be at once. The bar had told us where we could find this beer and Pops always kept it at the house for the random warm days that everyone ended up in his pool because he was so proud that the girliest of his girls found a beer she could drink. I, of course, would drink anything as long as it was cold. 

“He does always have it. He’s a sucker for his girls.”

“He is. He looks like he’s feeling great,” she said. I sat down on the side of the pool and took a drink from her beer. 

“He is. We had an appointment at his cardiologist Friday and they are really happy about his progress.”

“Is it totally weird to be the person who that stuff with him?” Kayci asked.

“Completely. Like I’m not ready to be a parent and here I am essentially parenting my parent. I’m stressed out beyond belief and work isn’t helping.”

“What’s going on with work?”

“Well, the Eliza bullshit is getting worse.”

“How so?” 

“She refused to come work from here with me. Ty is in charge of all of the assistants now and he informed her that my assistant will need to be willing to work remotely from ‘The Compound’ until I return to the office.” Ty had jokingly referred to my Pops’ place as The Compound since his first visit here in high school. “So she got moved to the front reception desk until a more permanent decision could be made on a placement for her and now he and Harry are plotting to put together a job description for me that is half work assistant/half personal assistant. She and Ty got in such a blow out fight that she’s moved out of the house and none of us know where she’s staying.”

“She tends to be reactive like that. I remember when she would come out with you for spring break and shit she used to be so fucking evil to me and Kourt. I am pretty sure it’s why we were evil back. I apologize now that you were collateral damage in that whole thing.”

“I appreciate that. You were young and annoying then, I can forgive that. Now you’re just annoying.” She splashed me with water as I took another drink of her beer. I heard the door from the house open and glanced to see my father walk out and towards us.

“I saw you out here drinking your sister’s beer and thought you might prefer your own.”

“Thanks, Pops.” I took the beer from him before he sat down on a chair not far from me. 

“So she’s just talking to no one?” Kayci asked. I nodded. “That’s super bitchy. I mean I have always just tolerated her because she’s one of your best friends but this is like way out of line. You have been more than fair and have given her a life that let’s face it without you she’d never be able to afford. She’s paid less for housing in your penthouse than I do for my bedroom with my shitty fucking roommates. She’s flown around the world like ten fucking times with you and gets to do some of the coolest shit. Hell, I’d kill for that job and we know that I essentially have no desire to have a real job in life because as my roommates like to say I get paid to play dress-up. She’s so far out of line that getting to keep any job is too nice.” I tried to give visual clues to Kayci to get her to shut up about it but clearly, I was failing.

“What’s out of line?” Pops asked. He knew nothing about what was going on at work. We’d all been trying to shelter him from the stress for the most part and only fill him in on the extremely important things.”

“Everything going on with Eliza,” I said.

“Oh, like how she tried to use her P Card for the Marilyn Monroe Suite at The Roosevelt?”

“She what?!” I asked.

“She still had a credit card for company expenses. She was an authorized cardholder on your account and you hadn’t answered the call, I was the second contact. I got a call from the credit card company one night for unusual charges about a week ago. They said the charge was at The Roosevelt so I called over there and talked to my contact since we often use it for client events. They sent over the security camera footage because it was on your account and I was worried your card or Eliza’s had been stolen. There she was with giant sunglasses and a headscarf trying to hide her identity checking into the Marilyn Monroe suite for an undetermined amount of time.”

“First of all, where the hell was I? Second, did you decline the charge?” I asked.

“You were busy with your sisters cooking dinner, it was Sunday. Your phone had been sitting next to mine. I didn’t want to worry you so I deleted the missed call and voicemail. I called Eliza, told her I was declining the charge and asked why she was checking in there. She lied about some bullshit. Said that a friend was coming in for a while and she wanted to have some privacy from Ty. I told her that it didn’t matter, she couldn’t use her P Card because that was theft. I told her that I wouldn’t turn her into our legal department and let her keep her job but that if she was trying to run from her problems I wouldn’t be paying for them. She made me promise not to tell her parents as she sobbed on the phone. Something is going on with that girl, she didn’t sound like herself. She sounded strung out so I changed all of the locks on the Malibu house, your penthouse, and this place the next day. It’s why you and Harry needed a new code last week. Ty changed the locks at your place so you’ll need new keys and new codes when you head home. She knows if she needs help she can come to me, I made that clear. But I also made it clear that she would no longer be living off of you if she wasn’t working for you.”

“Fuck. This is worse than I thought it was. I need to try and sit down with her, don’t I?”

“Probably at some point but give her some time. She usually figures shit out after a week or two. I mean how many times has she given you her resignation and then decided she was staying?” Pops asked.

“At least a dozen times.”

“So let’s allow this to make it one more time and give her another week before you step in. Ty and I can handle the rest of it.”

“I can’t believe you were keeping this from me,” I said as I turned to look straight into his eyes.

“You’ve been handling all of the hard stuff lately. I thought this could be my turn to handle the tough stuff. I told her that night that she sounded high and offered to send her to rehab. She denied it and hung up on me.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to get involved but if she’s using I might need to step in.”

“No, you don’t. If she’s using and needs help I’ll help her or I’ll call her mother and father. It’s our jobs to be parents, not yours. You’ve been working to take care of literally everyone in your life. You need a break and a vacation.”

“I’ll second that,” Harry said as he walked up to the pool. He bent down to kiss the top of my head before going to sit beside my father. “Speaking of vacations, we settled on a schedule for recording.” 

“When do you leave?” Pops asked.

“Two weeks. I’m trying to convince that daughter of yours that she’s coming with me for at least a few days in the beginning.”

“I think that sounds like a great idea,” Pops said. “How long will you be gone?”

“The plan is 4-6 weeks before heading back and finishing between here and London,” Harry excitedly answered.

“Well, if you need her father/boss’s approval you’ve got it. Take her the whole damn time for all I care. It’ll be nice to have a break from her.” I threw the lid from my bottle of beer at my Pops.

“I’ll take care of Harold,” Kayci said.

“That’s just your excuse to figure out how to move home,” Pops replied laughing. “If your living situation is really that bad you can stay here until you figure something out?”

“Are you serious?!” Kayci looked stunned. Pops didn’t joke about this kind of stuff and she knew it as well as I did.

“Of course I am. I actually talked to your mother about it yesterday. She was going to take you shopping to try and figure out what you wanted to do to that last guest suite down by Evie and Harry. If my girls need somewhere to come home to my girls have a home here.” Before he knew what was happening Kayci had jumped out of the pool and engulfed my father in a giant hug. “Welcome home, Kayc."

There was a lot in that chapter. I know it may not make the most sense but neither does anything happening in Evie’s head right now. She’s trying to navigate her relationships in this new world after her father’s heart attack. Having one of the most important relationships struggle is hard on her. I speak from experience on this. It’s part of the reason it was very important for me to tell these parts of Jimmy’s recovery and the way it has an impact on Evie’s life, not just his.

Last year as I helped my mother through the aftermath of her diagnosis my relationships struggled. My brother and I fought over everything. My sister-in-law tried to pretend as if she was willing to be there but only when her schedule wouldn’t allow it. I had friends who disappeared off of the face of the earth, one of them being one of my closest friends. She always claims that I’ll let her know when I need her. A little over a year ago as I prepared to move home with my Mom for the first time in nearly 20 years I told her that I was done coming to her and telling her when I needed help. Friends don’t have to cry out to friends. They are just there for each other. They check in. They show love. They care. It wasn’t my job to point out that my life was in shambles to everyone around me. 

I wanted to show the struggles that a major life change can cause on relationships through this story. Unlike me, Evie doesn’t share any siblings with Jimmy. Eliza was the closest thing. As the struggle in their friendship imitates the real-life struggle in my friendships it became harder and harder to write. It’s part of why I needed a larger time to write this than I initially expected. It was hard to see the reality of my life played out on the pages of my fiction. But it was necessary, as your priorities in life shift so do the relationships in it.

I did find my voice again and have been working on another story that I’m unlikely to publish, at least here as Harry is not the lead male. For those curious Michael B. Jordan is. Finding my voice there helped me find my way back here. I am hopeful that chapter two won’t take nearly the amount of time that one did.

I hope you enjoyed this. Feel free to send your thoughts over. As my brain was scattered writing this I’m sure it’s not up to my normal writing standards but I would still love to hear from you.

xx AM.

[piracytheorist]

Lillpon’s OUAT Pet Names

The show gives us precious few pet names that characters call other characters that they’re fond of (Emma calling Henry “Kid” or Killian calling Emma “Swan” for example, or even negative ones like “Crocodile” or Regina’s nicknames for Killian). But I think all of us (especially us writers) have some neat head-canons about what the characters call (or DON’T call) each other behind closed doors. So let’s share them! This meme/game is open for everybody from all parts of the fandom, so have at it! And have fun!

From this post by @killian-whump :D

Emma calls Killian… Killian, occasionally Captain Yeah… I just don’t, in my headcanons, see her as adopting a nickname for him. Sometimes stuff like “honey” and “sweetie” want to sneak in, and sometimes they manage to, but overall I couldn’t choose something she would call him in casual situations… Captain is reserved for special occasions ;) NOPEt Names: Hook, after a point.  It’s not that anyone’s ashamed of it, it’s just that she’s used to calling him Killian so much that “Hook” doesn’t even slip from her, not even by accident or when she’s emotionally charged. Also Kil, Killy... nopes XD

Killian calls Emma... My love, Swan, Emma* The * is because I kinda wanna copy KW’s answer about him calling her Emma usually in serious or tender moments. Swan is... well, Swan, and I honestly hoped that up until the last moment, we would’d get to see him call her “My love”, but it didn’t happen. Eh. That’s what headcanons are for, and this particular is because he’d keep using the term “love” for other ladies, but Emma would be his love :) NOPEt: Em, Ems, lass. The first two I’ve seen being used in fics by other characters too, particularly Neal, and it’s... meh. “Emma” is already a short name, why tf shorten it to a mere breath. Also, though I don’t hate lass, I find it funny that you can distinguish CS fics that were written before s3 by two points: the (understandable) complete lack of any mention of Liam, and Killian calling Emma lass all the fucking time. Iirc, he only called her that twice in 2x06 and then never again, though before s3 it was the most important CS episode, so I get the trend XD

Killian calls Rumpelstiltskin... Crocodile, Dark One, Gold, directly, and sometimes with his full name when referring to him. He can’t use just any derogatery term with him. They’ve been playing this game for quite a long time now, the rules are set in stone ;) NOPEt: Rumple.  Just, just, no. Here’s 600 words why it’s the hugest nope for me. Also anything that’s a “nickname” of the actual nicknames he uses. Look, I love Revenge is Gonna be Mine, but “Croc” simply is not Killian-Jones-like, sorry.

Wish Killian calls Alice... Starfish, love. Doesn’t need much explanation. “Love” is just the same term of endearment he uses casually, and “Starfish” is just the cutest thing a seafaring man could think of <3  NOPEt: Al. In my headcanons it does not exist. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m not a fan of shortening character’s names, so...

Alice calls OG Killian... Uncle (Killian). To her OG Killian is just the long-lost, also weirdly young, twin brother of her father. So, yeah. Uncle Killian it is XD

Alice calls Robyn... Nobin. Yeah, I don’t think she’d ever drop that XD

[ravenghcst]

B, C, F, H, T, U, & W for any of your f/os ~ rebeccaselfships

hey rebecca!!! I hope u, hawks, and mirko have a good day! go chillax

I'll be answering for kiki!!

B-Breakfast: Do you two have an specific breakfast rituals? How about favorite foods?

not specific, to be honest. its not like any of us cook often or anything. usually pike will make us bread or send the twins to buy some stuff. but every morning, kiki wakes up like oh hello guys! isnt it such a beautiful day? you're all wonderful and I'm so in love with being alive <3 and shes so. sweet. and the rest of us are just... tired.

for favorite foods, mine is definitely my mamas tortilla soup. Keyleth tries to stay away from meat if possible, but it's hard to stay moral when we dont always have the possibility to pick. shes gushed a lot about her the salads her mother used to make from what was grown in the garden.

C-Clock: Do you two have certain activities you do at a certain time? Does one of you wake up earlier than the other(s)?

no certain activities tbh. closest would be bed time? we tend to go lay down at the same time and then I'll bother her to pay attention to me if shes reading lmao.

she always wakes up earlier than me! always. then I'll wake up bc I dont like sleeping without her

F-Fun: What’s an ideal night or date for y’all? What do two you do for fun?

so the dates I have with kiki are always lowkey! like just cooking, curling up on the couch and eating, then like. lighting candles and takin a bath with bath bombs, candles, and face masks. maybe some music too!!

for fun, definitely nature stuff! in summer we like to hike, in winter I drag her for hiking in the cold and skiing.

H-Hello!: How often do you two text/send messages? How do you greet each other?

I text all the time. I'm on my phone. all. the. time. kiki isnt as much so she'll call if she can. for greetings, usually a hug! maybe a kiss if one of us is feelin it

T-Tall: Is there a particularly big difference in your heights? Are any workarounds needed?

theres maybe a 2 inch difference at most? so no not really. but kiki likes to wear heels so she'll be tall and tease me. cutie

U-UwU: Do either of you use emojis a bunch? If it’s a universe where phones don’t exist, do either of you draw little faces and symbols on letters? What does the other think?

I kinda do, just bc of how much I text

W-Water: How does swimming go? How about a beach trip?

oh that's. fun. I am not the hugest fan of swimming bc of issues with finding swin suits. kiki loves to swim rho!! and I gladly will if we're alone. beach trips are also fun! but neither of us like when its crowded.

hey nina!! hope ur doin well!! hope u and ur fos have a nice night!!

[scaryweebstories]

Weeb Hits On Me At School Dance

Hey heres the story ive been promising for a while, a user om here requested it!! So here ya go, @annafaerie

Okay so this happened last year, like a year ago. Im a freshman in highschool, about to become a sophomore soon. Last year in 8th grade (middle shool) there were school dances but i never usually went but my boyfriend at the time (hes another entirely different story on his own… Hes not a weeb but super hard core nintendo fan. He was toxic and not good lemme know if you want a story on him cuz i gotta ton) invited me to go with him. This was the last dance of the year and we were about to leave middle school soon so what the heck, i went with him. I get there and it was held inside the cafeteria. The lights were off and there were colorful lights and music. I sit at a bench with his friends since i didn’t see him at first. His friends I’ll call them, Arturo (I still talk to him a lot fjahjd), Raymond (i used to talk to him but we kinda parted ways), Pedro, and a few others not worth noting. My boyfriend at the time was super outgoing and knew a lot of people so quite a bit of people talked to me because they knew we were a thing. There was this pair of twins (besides me and Monty lol) and they were known for being the huGEST WEEBS of the school. Uhhh we’ll call them Wolfy and Sally?? Wolfy and Sally were both huge weebs at the time, they were super skinny and stuck out quite a bit since they were some of the few white students here (most of the population is Hispanic). Wolfy was a huge furry as well and would wear a tail everywhere. My boyfriend (lets call him Chad…) Went to go get a soda or dance with Pedro or something. Wolfy comes up to me and is like super friendly?? I shug it off. They asked me to dance with him and called me cute and sweet and stuff, i did say “yo i dont think my bf would like you talking to me like that??” And he was like “we’re friends, he knows how im like lol”. Chad comes back and i just act like nothing happened. We hang out more amd the night goes on, we just talk amd stuff then an hour later the dance ends amd we walk out together and i tell him what happened. I dont remember his reaction, but i domt think he was happy about it oops And that was my weeb story sorry i took forever :’)

[petrasplaining]

do all the positivity things

ONE: Positivity for the first person who comes up when you do @ and the first letter of your name/alias

@beguilcd amber is so so sweet and so so nice, and it’s such an honor to get to write with her and also to see her treat a character that is so close to my heart with such care is just incredible. the mulan of my heart! and of petra’s heart. i love her a lot :”)

UNO: Positivity for the first person who comes up when you do @ and the first letter of your muse’s name/alias

@pxtienceisavirtue skye is a fantastic writer. i honestly… literally.. have no clue who all her muses are but i would legit follow her to the end of the world anyway that’s how amazing skye is.

UN: Positivity for the first person you remember shipping with ( in general or on this muse )

well on this blog that would be the loml tiff, who isn’t on indie anymore. but ? let me ramble about her for a sec. because i can. she is the gina to my yael, my wife my sister, the joanne to my maureen, i cannot even begin to say how much i love her and how much her presence in my life has been such a positive influence and just. i love her. my life is a thousand times better because she’s in it. tiff has always always been the one person who has consistently made me feel so loved, and never ever makes me doubt it. she loves me and truly cares about me, beyond rp beyond.. u know.. she checks on me no matter how busy her life gets and all that stuff and that’s just evERYTHING to me. i’d fight the whole world for her. 

EINS: Positivity for the first person who messaged you in 2018

@hasmercy dis bish likes to bully me a lot, but i love her. so frudgin much. i mean find you a friend who is your personal social media alarm for whenever your fave (in my case yael) posts anything on instagram. it sounds so little but the sentiment behind it means so much tho? the fact that she takes the time, to link me to show me something she knows would make me happy? because she knows it’s something i love? that’s precious. that means she thought of me? remembered me? :”) that aside tho, dana is also a wonderful, steadfast friend and i appreciate that so much.

ETT: Positivity for the first person who comes up when you do @ and your favorite letter

@asperad so jess, is one of my favs ever? like. jess has always been such a sweetheart to me, who leaves me little, feel better messages during the …occasional negativity post i make and liKE. it might seem like such a small simple gesture but… i?? just when you’re having a really hard time, getting a message? knowing someone cares to send that tiny little positivity your way? it means so much esp when you’re at such a low point, u know? and i appreciate that u do so frequently more than i can say. loveloveyou

UNUS: Positivity for the first person to come up on your dash.

@firstofficerslog​ is my little brother and i love him always. he’s one of the nicest people i know, who has a huge heart and genuinely cares about the people around him. he’s also incredibly strong and brave, and i appreciate his presence more than i can ever express. he was there for me a lot last year and was very supportive through an incredibly rough time in my life ?? and i’ll never forget that. if i could love him enough to make him happy always i would. and i just always want good things, the best things for him and for him to be constantly surrounded by good people who make him happy, who support and love him because he deserves that.

ODIN: Positivity for the first person listed on your “top fans” thing.

@leadershiipskills accdg to my blog, i’m your biggest fan and you’re my biggest fan! how cute are we?? :) anyway. gosh. where do i even. you’re the kind of person i could talk to for hours on end, and i wouldn’t get tired of it. u know, i love talking to you. i always have. you always take such interest in me when we talk. you ask me how i’ve been. you follow up, legit for days when you know things have been difficult for me. you give me reasons to smile for no reason at all. it means so much to me that you try and get to know me. you make me feel like i’m more than a person you write with, that i’m not only as good as whatever ships we have. you make me feel like i’m more than that. you’re curious to know who i am, what i like. you take a genuine interest in the things i do, in the things that happen in my life and i mean? i told u this before and i’ll say this again, you dont just tell me i matter, you make me feel like i matter. and i think that’s priceless. i can only hope i’m able to make you feel just as special because you truly are. i’m so lucky to have you as my friend, my mom, my twin. ilyyyyyy bab.

JEDEN: Positivity for the first person you think of.

@burnedbrighter​ ANGELA my sweet babe. how do i even begin to express the amount of love i have for you?? you are a TREASURE. a friend for keeps. u know, people, i feel, come and go on indie and i feel a little bit like that’s just how it is and i’ve come to accept that but you have been there, you know. through how many years. i’ve never doubted my worth to you as a friend. indie or not, i know that we’re friends, and that means more to me than anything, honestly. i hope you know how much i love you, and how much i appreciate you because i really do. ty for always making me feel loved.

EÎS: Positivity for someone you remember from when you first started your blog.

@zensolano caiti?? my sweet darlingest caiti. i’d go wherever you go, always forever you know why? because you’re an actual sunshine and ray of positivity and just the sweetest thing in the entire world! your presence lights me up, and you just, make me feel special and loved and remembered and just. coughs we all know i’m not always the hugest jafael fan depending on what’s happening lmfao but i would volunteer to scream about them alongside you, that’s how much i love you, and your cute fangirling sweet pure self. ily okay?

YKSI: Positivity for someone who has been one of your first writing partners, either on this blog or in general

@shculdbeafraid​ izzie, you’ve been there legit since this blog was born, i’m pretty sure? hahaha. and you’ve always been such a good friend to me, anytime that you know i’m not feeling the best, you’re always there to offer to listen and i appreciate that more than i can say. you’re wonderful and i have lots of love for you always, yeah? :)

BAT: Positivity for the first person to come up when you do @ and the letter F

@filiamatris​ is there anything i look forward to more than all of avery’s ooc posts tho? i think not? hahah, you’re amazing and so kind and considerate and you’re just…s ucH a caring person? and i cannot say enough how much i appreciate that, how much i appreciate having that kind of positivity in my dash is. it really, really makes all the difference. you make all the difference! you’re wonderful and amazing ilu

EKAB: Positivity for for the first person to come up when you do @ and the letter O

@ofcoldguns​ iK we havent talked a whole lot but you’ve become such an important part of my dash, and it’s always so nice getting to see you there and !! i appreciate anyone who appreciates one day at a time so. :”) you’re a darling and i look forward to getting to know you more!!

MOJA: Positivity for the top person in your activity bar

@likescauliflower​ ILSE MY LOVE. you’ve always been one of my most fav ever i mean your writing is stellar, i get to cry with you about all the things that i love aka jtv and odaat which! is always such fun! it doesn’t matter how busy you get irl, no matter how many times it takes you away from me because i will always always love you always!!!!! our love is forever just like seblair’s love is forever okay. 

[youhealmyworld]

Darth Maul Headcanons/Concepts; (30ish)

1. When Maul was three years old he believed that mirrors reflected a version of you from a different universe

2. Maul is the person that either dies laughing at horror movies or strictly critiques them depending on levels of scariness and terrible acting

3. Maul wears the earring on one ear because its a secret symbol of his poly-amorous sexuality 

4. Maul is the hugest fan of tigers, can even purr like them too

5. Maul in star wars rebels had an early concept of him using an orange light saber to represent his dark jedi status

6. Maul actually kidnapped Ezra when on Malachor but Ahsoka managed to escape and find them on a remote planet, eventually agreeing to join Maul and train/parent Ezra for some time

7. Ezra actually possessed Phoenix powers (jean grey phoenix) and Maul finding out decided to convince the rebels to let him stay and help train Ezra

8. Maul found Savage one day singing opera in an empty room on the Night-Brother and couldn’t stop giggling

9. Savage one day found Maul dancing in an empty training room on Mandalore and couldn't stop giggling

10. Mauls favorite drink is Mango Carrot Juice, Savage’s is ginger beer

11. Maul as an athlete would be a squash player while Savage would be a basketball player

12. Maul’s actually pretty chill when you meet him but his ultimate trigger is if he’s wearing headphones and you PHYSICALLY take them off to try and talk to him

13. Yea Maul wears headphones like 24/7, he says its to escape from his own mind constantly in conflict and trying to ruin him; to escape from reality pretty much

14. Maul actually once had a sexy dream of Kenobi which haunts him to this day claiming it was his worst nightmare (but he smiled and laughed in his sleep when he had it)

15. One of Mauls big aesthetics is the smell of gasoline or from construction 

16. Mauls favorite color is actually between pumpkin orange and violet, but he never tells anyone that

17. Maul listens to all types of music but a huge kink is OST music and hard rock

18. One of Mauls early passions was drama and he probably would’ve been a theater major if he went to school

19. Maul barely sleeps after TPM because all of his energy and functions are now dependent on the force and the fields of the dark side which saved his life when he got cut in half

20. Maul has a natural odor of cinnamon and burnt coal

21. In the shower Maul does a routine of whip-lashing head turns and body checks to make sure his surroundings are safe and that he’s out of danger

22. Maul silently growls every-time someone mentions Kenobi but shakes a little when someone mentions his former master

23. (relates to #4) Maul when he sleeps always has a ragged purr and his heartbeat is always in an echo due to him having two hearts

24. Maul always wakes up around 5 or 6 am to do his training exercises and stretching even though he’s no longer a student of Sidious

25. Maul mediates everyday for at least 3 hours when he can

26. Maul once said that Savage could be trusted as a friend and brother and that everyone else can burn

27. Maul actually really enjoys being pampered and coddled but you’d have to gain a fuckton of trust or be Savage for him to allow it

28. Maul never cried as an infant and has only cried a small amount of times in his entire life due to his discipline from Sidious and how he’d rather break shit then sob, him personally feeling it makes you weak

29. Maul saw Snoke’s death and died laughing for like a good 30 minutes

30. When Maul was burning on the Pyre, Obi Wan cried while watching the sparks float up into the Twin Moons in the sky

31. When Obi Wan became one with the force, he saw Maul reunited with Savage and his mother which lifted weights off his shoulders in happiness and relief

[hiddenwashington]

do you have any fc suggestions for hannah washington? i really wanna play her but not the hugest fan of her twin's fc in the rp :/

to match remi’s ethnicity, and jade’s as well as best we can i can suggest imaan hammam, mimi elashiry, or yasmine al massri!