#not the big angst session that I have planned that's for later

[dreamesamu]

THE THINGS HE TAKES FOR GRANTED

in which he takes a moment to justify himself after never noticing your little crush for him

starring. akaashi keiji x fem!reader

genre(s): angst to fluff, (super, like-) long scenario 

warning(s): none, i think so? except for clueless keiji and not proof-reading

author’s note: akaashi is just a major green flag in this (every haikyu!! boy is 😭) i feel too bad to write them red-flag-y.

choose your character: m. atsumu | k. akaashi

you’ve known akaashi for quite some time, starting from your last year of fukurodani academy and then serendipity brought you both ended up being each other’s classmate at a same college/university. bokuto kotaro was your best friend, the little owl introduced his favorite setter to you and the friendship of three gradually become established, and as if it can not be any more inevitably, you eventually developed a secret admiration for the pretty setter when you three have been closed enough. however, graduating separated ways, kotaro pursued his journey to become professional in volleyball while keiji, once said to you he wanted a place in the literature department.

truth be told, even if you promised each other you would still keep in touch and plan every weekend friend group meeting online or offline, you’ve never expect you would share every class in higher education life with your crush, the akaashi keiji. the great thing is you both are paired up for an presentation assignment in the major you and him pursue, you do have plenty of time to stay close and grab his attention from making gestures that he usually failed to realizes.

here you are again, happily humming your favourite song while carrying a box wrapped with a small detailed towel, some big rolls of assignment paper stuck underneath your arm as you make your way back to where you both planned to finish the project - the library. 

“keiji, i’m back!” you set your things respectively on the table, and akaashi nods with a smile on his face in acknowledgement.

“oookay, so here’s your today’s snack, I hope you’ll like it” you grin, tapping on the box before pushing it to his side as he receives it and casually opens it while speaking.

“hmm? are those sketches of our poster? you can always edit them on the computer, why the effort?” he chuckled softly before completely unwrapping the bento box.

“I’m not good at designing and stuff. I may draw as I like and you’ll be the one to edit it on the computer.” you puff your cheek out, hands resting on hips as you watch his reaction to your delicately decorated sweets in the box made for him.

“this looks amazing.” he smiles upon seeing the pastries you made, decorated beautifully with different kinds of fruit as each pastry has different flavours, you probably did not stay up so late last night just to make all kinds of flavours for him to show how much you like him. yeah, probably not.

"oh, it's nothing, I just hope it doesn't taste bad" you chuckle nervously while scratching the back of your neck, letting his praise send you up to cloud nine.

your actions falter when you see akaashi put back the box's cap on, set it aside as he leans over to reach the posters you drew.

"now then, can we start working on the project?" he spreads out the piece of paper, glancing at you as you stand there awkwardly, prefer him taking a bite to look through all of your efforts than just shrugging it off and go straight to the main part of your study session.

"what...? oh- um..." you trail off, a bit embarrassed. "wouldn't you like to try one out? it won't hurt to just have a taste of it..."

"maybe later, y/n. we have other things need to be done right now." he merely states, eyes study the poster in front of him, unknowingly sinking your heart.

"yes, right." you shift slightly, taking the sit by the opposite of him, trying to catch up with him on the progress.

you let your mind wanders off how many times you've lost count already while akaashi quietly focused on scribbling something in his notebook, every thoughts you have are always about keiji, your feelings and the stare you give him thinking it's discreet. what's stopping him from trying my tarts out? and how does he feel being around me? or is that his way of rejecting something without making that person feel bad? flooded your mind.

"y/n?" you realize his faint voice ringing somewhere "y/n..." the voice becomes clearer. "earth to y/n, you're staring." awh, snap. right.

you blink, startled before clearing your throat, mumbling a small apology as you try to get yourself busy with the work underneath you once again.

but akaashi just chuckles, his voice calm and reassuring.

"hey, you seem off today. it's lunch break, please make yourself comfortable." you fumble at his words, it's noon already? as he collects his books and tidy it up at one corner of the table before speaking again.

"yuri satsuki is inviting me to have lunch with her. would you like to also join? i think she wouldn't mind." he kindly offers, probably not knowing the words struck you shocked.

you know satsuki-senpai, she's a year older than you and has been a social butterfly ever since you set foot in student life. she is a nice person, you conceived, but not until you found out that she has a huge crush on your akaashi keiji, her behaviour in your eyes became somewhat annoying. in return, she did realize she had a rival to win over him, you acknowledge that through the smug look she gave every time akaashi was around her instead of you, that is how the tension gradually builds up between you and your pain-in-the-ass rival.

and now she's even invited keiji for lunch? you feel an uncomfortable twist in your belly, screaming that if you do not take further actions, you lose akaashi to her. but his way of discarding your hard work, also known as an attempt to get his attention earlier discourages you hastily. this comes to a realization: ever since he start hanging out with satsuki-senpai, he has never touched one of your cooks once.

"no, i'm fine staying here. you go" you force a smile waving him goodbye. he hesitates upon seeing the downward trend of your mood as well as the strange attitude every time he brings up yuri.

"what are you waiting for?" you scoff, trying your best to make it sound not so bitterly. he nods quietly before ruffles your hair, thoughtfully remind you to get something to eat before start working again, and he'll be back with you soon.

you groan for the nth time in thirty minutes since his last leave, deciding not to eat anything at all after you laugh bitterly to yourself seeing the bento box laid cold by his stuffs which corrects your thoughts that he is not going to appreciate what you did for him.

the chair scraped the floor when you stand up, attempting to compose yourself when you feel your brain need a break from overthinking such situations.

on the way out of the library, your eyes meet yuri satsuki's, assuming that keiji is just somewhere around here as his lunch break partner is the person you least excited to bump into.

"well, well. isn't that the girl whose best friend choose to hang out with me instead of her?"

excuse me?

"don't get too ahead of yourself, satsuki-senpai. just a friendly reminder" your tone evidently irritated as you flash her an unamused smile, trying to avoid her as soon as possible.

but the radio scene of her voice replayed all over your head, your mind goes muddy despite the fresh air you're trying to take in, you let out a shaky breath, tears brimming out.

maybe, he doesn't quite noticed the things I did for him after all...

---

"you're back. where were you?" akaashi worried tone surprises you after a quite fine time of trying to find you because your study desk in the library was empty.

"i was... out for fresh air. why?" your voice is off and he noticed that. he always knew when something is bothering you, and right now he definitely know that something is wrong.

"after i finished my lunch i got yours, 'cause i know when i'm back you would still hadn't eaten anything." his brows slightly furrow seeing your avoiding attitude.

"thanks, keiji." you said briefly, take the package from his hand and sit down on your seat, never forget to notice the pastry box still intact.

your strange attitude didn't just stop there, it confuses akaashi for a more couple of days of your avoidance, he dislike the way you put a small distance between you both in study sessions, you flinch and tense around him more often, your answers and conversations are brief and sometimes awkward as you seem to be more preoccupied and attentive rather than to communicate with him.

"good morning, y/n." he smiles, your state has been bothering him for days as he is paying attention to your fade grin and a small "hey" as a greet back.

then he fumbles. something is missing...

oh. but then, realization sets in him quite quickly: you didn't bring any homemade sweets today.

"y/n..." he hesitates, meeting your eyes as you lift your head up from the notebook you're scribbling on. "does your home perhaps... out of ingredients or something?"

you are stunned for a moment, knowing exactly what he was trying to imply, scared to look at him directly in the eye as you shift your gaze elsewhere, pretending to have forgotten.

"oh... you mean the pastries... I forgot to do it. I was busy yesterday"

lies. he see through it, you know that, but you can't just blurt it all out that you're heartbreaking because of his indirect rejection that never says he doesn't like you, but makes you feel like it did.

"hey... i know something is wrong, can you tell me what it is?"

there it is - the worried look on such handsome face that never fails to make your heart flutter. but you know, that is just his nature of being an attentive and thoughtful person, not just for only you, but for everyone in his orbit.

so his question remained unanswered.

akaashi has been extremely distracted due to the sudden lack of your affection on him. it's just doesn't feel the same. even if he refuses it but deep down, he misses your midday snacks, your bubbly laugh around him and that flushed cheeks you wear every time he caught you staring. it has been a whole week since, and the fact that you didn't join the friend group video call with bokuto last sunday was his last straw.

he misses you, dearly. and if he doesn't do anything now before your project is finished, he might find it difficult to approach you even when you are his best friend.

and then, on an another lovely morning in the college's campus, an emotion he thinks he's aware of stirring in his stomach at the scene of you handing out a bento box wrapped with the same detailed towel, a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips as the other boy laughs lightly, scratches his neck, sending regards with a polite bow before making his way back in the classroom, akaashi doesn't like what his eyes have witnessed, so when he met yours, the bitterful look sends shivers down your spine.

you turn away, begin to walk, you do not want to deal with your bothered heart right now, not if it has anything to do with him, with that thought, you choose to neglect it because it is just your one-sided feelings for him.

but you hear footsteps behind, next is a small "wait" escaped from his lips when he managed to catch up and hold gently on your arm. that stopped you midtrack.

"please. can we talk?" he pleads.

---

you find yourself trapped by his presence in a corner of the school's library. there's no point in avoiding now.

"i'm sorry." he states. "i like you, i should've known."

your eyes widen. why- all of a sudden?

akaashi glances at you, softly sighs before bring your hand up to his face and kiss your knuckles gently.

"i understand now, i was clueless, you have the very right to be mad at me." each sentences he speaks crack your heart, but at the same time, they give you hope.

you neither know how to react, nor what to say, you just stand there, completely speechless, it encourages him to continue his speech of pursuing you.

"the last time i went to have lunch with satsuki, she confessed to me." he stopped, watching your expression. "but i turned her down, then, she got angry and started to brag about you. i did not like what she said, so i got quite defensive and... that was when i realised."

"i didn't know when it started. i just knew that i didn't feel very comfortable seeing you bringing your pastries that was meant for me to someone else, and more it's because i didn't appreciate it."

he squeezes your hand, afraid if not, you'll slip from his grip and become somebody else's apple. he certainly dislikes the thought.

"i want your pastries back, i love them as much as i love you. please let me correct such a terrible mistake."

---

"yes, hello. i've received the box, thank you, my love."

akaashi spins his office chair slightly, softly speaking to the phone stuck between his cheek and shoulder with a smile while unwrapping a huge warm box of freshly baked tarts.

"keiji, bad news, i'm out of powdered sugar after that batch." your voice echoed on output, he chuckles.

"are you free after work? we can visit the supermarket to purchase some. i'll drive, consider this a date with me, 'mkay?"

�� 2024 dreamesamu. all rights reserved.

[msmk11]

Everything to Everyone

James Potter x fem!reader

WC: tbh I don’t know, I just raw-dogged this in the app

CW: ANGST, HURT-COMFORT, panic attack, r is very sad and doesn’t take care of herself

Summary: you can’t keep doing this

A/n: Don’t know what this is; might be garbage; but this is just a reflection of my brain and my desperate need for someone like to james to comfort me rn; I need to be someone’s everything 😭

<>

It’s all too much, trying to be everything for everyone all of the time. It consumes you- the need to help others, to serve them in any way possible. To be their shoulder to cry on. The arms to hold them. The voice cheering them on. The hands to build them castles in the sky.

Perhaps it’s founded in your insatiable hunger to be well-liked, loved even.

Maybe it’s rooted in your fear that everyone will leave you, and that maybe maybe, if you try hard enough, they won’t.

Regardless of its cause, your involuntary obligation to others has pushed you to the edge, leaving you broken and exhausted. You want to cry out for help, for someone to notice, but they don’t. It’s not their fault. You know it isn’t. They can’t read your mind for goodness sake. But still, you wish they’d notice. To stop and think about you for a moment.

Today is no different, your list of promises to others longer than the one to yourself. Although it’s a Saturday, your day is jam packed with plans. First, you’ve promised Peter that you’ll make a quick trip with him to Hogsmeade this morning to pick up fire whiskey for the party tonight. After that you’re due for tea with Mary at Madame Pudifoots before you have to rush back to Hogwarts to meet Remus and Lily for a study session in the library. And fuck- at some point you’ll have to stitch up a hole in Marlene’s jersey and braid Sirius’ hair for the game. And the game. You’ve promised James, your lovely boyfriend and captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, that you’ll be there. He needs his “lucky charm.”

You’re down in the common room at 10 on the nose, sleep still heavy on your eyes despite the time. Peter ambles down the stairs a few minutes later, his big jacket wrapped tightly around him.

The cold air outside is bitter on your nose and burns your cheeks. You bundle your face further into the collar of your coat and wish you would’ve worn a scarf. As you walk, Peter yaps on to you about the girl from his Divination class that he has a crush on. You’re enthusiastic that he has a crush, and that he feels comfortable enough to share it with you, but your heart hangs heavy in your chest regardless. You can’t quite muster up the genuine smile you usually give to everyone, and instead settle for a dim but encouraging one.

After you triple check that Peter can carry all of the fire whiskey back to the castle, you trudge across the way to Madame Pudifoots. Mary is already nestled into a corner when you arrive and she waves brightly at you. While the warmth of the shop and your friend is welcome, the thick perfume in the air and the sweet array of biscuits and cookies makes your head ache and stomach churn. Much like Peter, the brunette does most of the talking, catching you up on gossip around the castle. You give a lot of dramatic gasps, wide eyes, and giggles, but they’re as fake as the flowers on the table before you.

By the time you arrive to the library with what feels like a whole ton of books slung over your shoulder, you think you could drop dead from exhaustion. You find Lily and Remus in a heated discussion about some charms theory and wonder if they’d even notice if you slipped out. Of course, Lily catches your eye in the next second and waves you over. She quickly brings you into the debate, and you give the redhead your two cents. Your opinion, it seems, sets off a whole other conversation. Luckily, this time, you can just tune them out, instead focusing on the words of the book before you. Although now that you’re looking at it, all of the words seem to be swimming together in a blurry mess. And, is that a wet spot on the page? Are you crying? You reach up and, sure enough, another hot tear trails down your face. Panicked, you bend down under the guise of tying your shoe and wipe them away quickly. Remus and Lily can’t see you crack. They can’t.

You know that it’s all really getting to you when Sirius lets out more than one yelp as you do his hair. He complains that you’re going to pull it all out, and perhaps he isn’t wrong. You loosen your grip slightly but wince when you brush over one of the fresh cuts on your hands from sewing up Marlene’s jersey. The bandaid covers the cut, but doesn’t dull the slight throbbing pain in your palm. The pain and Sirius’ whining makes you want to yell at him and tell him to do it himself. But you don’t, and instead stay quiet. When his hair is finished, you peck his forehead in apology and boost his vanity.

“Oi, Black! Trying to steal my girl, are you?”

You nearly start bawling on the spot at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Relief and calm wash over you as you feel his strong arms wrap around you. Instinctively, you lean back into his chest and sigh, closing your eyes.

You’re certain that Sirius and James are bantering back and forth some more but you tune them out in favor of enjoying the vibrations of your boyfriend’s voice through his chest. It’s pleasant enough that you think you could fall asleep.

You’re only startled out of your stupor when James’ soft lips press gentle kisses to each of your eyelids. Your eyes flutter open and you smile at him softly.

“Hi angel,” he greets, pecking your lips.

You return the kiss eagerly and James chuckles.

“Ready for the game tonight?”

You’d forgotten about the game momentarily, but now it comes rushing back. The thought of having to do anything else besides just lay in your boyfriend’s arms makes you want to cry. You swallow the lump in your throat, “of course, Jamie. And I’ll have your jersey on like usual.”

He gives you another quick peck, “my lucky charm.”

And then he’s moving away from you, far too fast for your taste, and you nearly whine. He collects his water and broom and turns back to you with a grin.

“See you at the game, love.”

You only whisper out a goodbye before he’s gone.

The game has been going on for far too long and you’re beginning to lose all feeling in your extremities. Like usual, James is playing great. And you’re proud of him, you really are. But you don’t want to be here anymore. You just want to lay in your bed and close off the world, rotting away in a puddle of self-induced misery.

But this fact in itself makes you feel worse than you already do. The guilt of it all- of being fake, insecure, and unsupportive- is eating you alive. Your friends deserve better. James deserves better.

It’s too much, too much, too much. And you feel like you’re suffocating.

So you’re beyond relieved when Gryffindor catches the snitch and you can leave. Though you normally stay to congratulate James, you don’t have it in you to do it. You figure you’ll see him later, so you rush back to the castle, trying to escape the notice of your friends.

While your bed calls to you most, living in a dorm doesn’t promise any privacy. So you go to the only place you know will- the room of requirement.

It accommodates you enough. The room has shifted into a remarkable replica of your bedroom back home. You collapse onto the bed instantly and your head barely hits the pillow before the sobs you’ve choked back all day finally escape you.

It’s like a dam breaking loose, a flood of emotions overcoming you. Sadness smashes into you like waves, guilt grips your throat tightly, choking you, anger heats your face, and self-loathing broils in your stomach. You can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t.

Why, why, why, why, why?

You’re so tired of giving, giving, giving. Being everything to everyone and nothing to yourself. Your body is a storm of emotions but your heart is the eye of the hurricane- silent and hollow.

You curl in on yourself, grabbing onto your legs tightly, trying to grip any sense of reality you have left. But your body shakes and your hands slip. It does little to ground you and you’re lost in another dimension, another reality. You can’t breathe, nothing feels real, and the world feels like it’s ending.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, everything, everything, everything.

“Angel, you gotta breathe for me.”

A voice breaks through your fog but you can’t focus in on what it’s saying.

“Baby, my love, look at me. You gotta take a breath.”

Through your shaking and tears you barely make out James’ figure. And when your eyes clear a little you see his eyes. It’s the first real thing you sense again, and you grasp onto it desperately. His hazel eyes stare at you, so calmly, and you get lost in them.

“Angel can you take a deep breath?”

You try to breathe but fail, only spluttering out short, shallow breaths.

“Not quite, my love. Here, match my breathing.”

James grabs your hand and puts it on his chest. You feel him breathe in deeply and hear him blow air past his lips.

“Like this.”

Still shaking aggressively, you try to inhale. Your breath is harsh and unstable, but at least longer and deeper. You purse your lips and blow, just like James does.

“That’s my girl. You’re doing it.”

You continue to breathe in and out. Each time, your breath slowly gets better. Stronger.

“Good, good. Can you tell me what happened?”

You try to think about all that’s happened and your breathing picks back up again. Tears prick at your eyes and you shake your head.

“No, no, no. It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m sorry, we won’t talk about it.”

Your body trembles and you nod appreciatively.

“Do you want a hug?”

“Y-yeah.”

You’re too weak to move towards him, so James reaches out and draws you into his lap. You bury your face in his chest and grip onto his jersey sleeves tightly. His hands rub soothing circles on your back, soft, slow, and repetitive. He intermittently places kisses to your hair, mumbling words of praise and encouragement in between.

The world starts to come back to you.

The soft sounds of James’ breathing and the whoosh of your shirt material under his hand.

His smell, a mixture of cologne and sweat.

His hot breath on your ear as he whispers to you.

His red jersey smushed against your face.

The remnants of your salty tears on your lips.

“I- I can’t keep doing this,” you mumble out. It’s barely audible, your voice hoarse from your meltdown.

“What’d you say, angel?”

“I can’t keep doing this, Jamie.”

He pulls you away from his chest and looks deeply into your eyes, his own so filled with concern.

“You can’t keep doing what?”

“Being everything to everyone all of the time. I- I can’t. It’s too much. I give and help and say yes when I can’t. But, but I can’t do it anymore.”

“Oh, my love,” James sighs, hugging you impossibly tighter, “you don’t have to, not anymore. You don’t have to be anything to anyone besides yourself. They’ll love you regardless. I promise.”

“But what if they don’t?” You whisper, your voice thick with tears.

“I’ll love you regardless. You’re my light, my love, my life just because you’re you.”

He pauses thoughtfully.

“You don’t need to be everything to everyone when you’re already everything to me. And hopefully soon, you can be everything to yourself.”

[its-avalon-08]

y/n neglecting danny boy, shes being a bitch abt it because of work. angst, happy ending

THANKS!

a inconvenience in your world (dr3)

✦ pairing - daniel ricciardo x female!reader

✦ genre - alot of angst, tears, neglect, happy ending

The faint scent of burnt toast hung in the air, a stark contrast to the usual aroma of freshly brewed coffee that greeted Daniel most mornings. He shuffled into the kitchen, his back already protesting the sudden movement. The Baku crash still lingered, a dull ache settling in his lower back every time he spent too long sitting or inactive.

Y/N was hunched over her laptop, brow furrowed in concentration. She glanced up at him briefly, a tired smile flickering across her face.

"Morning," she mumbled, her voice strained. "Big day?"

Daniel forced a smile, the gesture feeling stiff. "Usual training. You sure you can't make it for breakfast again?"

Y/N sighed, a flicker of frustration crossing her features. "Look, babe, I know we rescheduled last night, but this project is a monster. Maybe next week?"

Disappointment gnawed at him, but he pushed it down. "Yeah, sure. Text me when you're done, okay? We can grab dinner."

Y/N nodded absently, her eyes already glued back to the screen. "Sounds good."

two weeks later

Daniel scrolled through his phone, a growing sense of unease settling in his gut. Y/N's last text, a hurried apology for missing their planned movie night, had been three days ago. Calls went straight to voicemail, texts remained unanswered. He knew she was busy, but the complete lack of communication gnawed at him.

He finally caught her on a Wednesday evening, her voice breathless and clipped.

"Hey, Y/N, finally—"

"Daniel, I'm in the middle of something super important. Can we talk later?"

"But—"

The line went dead. He stared at the phone, a hollow feeling blooming in his chest. He tried texting again, a simple "thinking of you," but it remained stubbornly on "delivered" just like the others.

friday night

Exhaustion weighed on Daniel as he returned from training. He longed for a home-cooked meal, some quiet time with Y/N. But the apartment was empty, the silence broken only by the hum of the refrigerator. He reheated a leftover curry, the taste bland on his tongue. The once vibrant apartment felt cold and sterile, mirroring the distance growing between him and Y/N.

He sank onto the couch, picking up his phone. Y/N's social media profiles were a whirlwind of work updates and inspirational quotes, a curated life devoid of any mention of him. A sharp pang of jealousy stabbed at him, quickly followed by a wave of sadness. Where had the goofy selfies and mushy captions gone? Where had his sunshine smile gone?

a few days later

The slam of the front door echoed through the apartment, a punctuation mark to a fight Y/N didn't see coming. It had started innocently enough, the clatter of a plate hitting the counter as Daniel placed it in the drying rack.

"Seriously, Daniel?" Y/N snapped, her eyes glued to her laptop screen. "Couldn't you just leave it in the sink? I'm swamped here."

Daniel froze, the plate suspended mid-air. A deep frown creased his forehead, a stark contrast to the grimace he'd been trying to hide for the past hour. His lower back had been throbbing ever since his training session that morning, but adrenaline and the hope of spending some quality time with Y/N had kept him going. Now, both the pain and his hope were fading fast.

"Y/N," he started, his voice strained, "it would have taken two seconds to put it away."

"Ugh, not this again," she sighed, finally tearing her gaze away from the screen. "Look, I appreciate you making dinner, but I'm on a deadline. Can we talk about this later?"

Daniel stared at her, his jaw clenched. "Later? That seems to be our new thing, doesn't it? Later for dinner, later for that movie you promised, later for even a simple conversation."

Y/N bristled. "Don't make this about you. I have a very demanding job right now."

"Demanding?" Daniel scoffed, his voice laced with hurt. "Who just spent the last two weeks glued to that laptop, cancelling every date night, blowing off my calls mid-conversation because of some 'urgent' email?"

Y/N opened her mouth to retort, then stopped. The accusation hung heavy in the air, a truth she couldn't deny. Shame burned in her gut, hot and unwelcome.

"Look," she started placatingly, "I know I've been distant, but this project is huge. Once it's over—"

"Once it's over?" Daniel cut her off, his voice tight with a mix of anger and pain. "What about me, Y/N? When was the last time you even asked how my back was after that crash in Baku?"

Y/N flinched. A vague memory of a news report about the crash flickered in her mind, but the details were hazy, lost in the sea of emails and reports flooding her inbox.

"I, uh…" she stammered, guilt twisting in her stomach. "You said you were fine."

A humorless laugh escaped Daniel's lips. "Right, because superheroes don't feel pain, do they?" He slammed the plate down on the counter, the clatter echoing in the tense silence. Tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision.

"I do everything for you, Y/N," he choked out, his voice thick with emotion. "Cook your meals, clean the apartment, manage your schedule – all while training and racing across the globe. But apparently, that's not enough. Because apparently, I'm just a fucking inconvenience to fit in between your precious deadlines."

Tears streamed down Y/N's face, a dam finally breaking. The words hit her like a physical blow, the truth stinging worse than any deadline.

"Daniel, I—" she started, but he cut her off with a shake of his head.

"Just save it," he said, his voice raw. "I need some air."

He stormed out of the apartment, leaving Y/N alone in the deafening silence. The echo of his words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the love she'd been neglecting, the connection she'd taken for granted. The laptop screen glowed accusingly, its light failing to penetrate the suffocating darkness that had settled around her.

The deafening silence that followed Daniel's departure pressed in on Y/N, heavy and suffocating. The laptop screen remained a dull beacon, its light failing to pierce the shame that gnawed at her. She numbly pushed herself to her feet, drawn to the kitchen counter where the forgotten plate stood.

Her gaze drifted around the room, finally seeing for the first time in weeks. The dishes were gleaming, not a single one left in the sink. The fridge hummed contentedly, stocked with fresh groceries. Panic clawed at her throat. This wasn't takeout night. This was Daniel, anticipating her needs, taking care of them without a single complaint.

She stumbled through the apartment, every corner revealing another silent testament to his love. Folded laundry sat neatly on the couch, a stark contrast to the usual clutter. Her work papers, once scattered across the dining table, were now organized into neat stacks on her desk, a laptop charger coiled beside them - fully charged, a silent reassurance.

Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. How could she have been so blind? He'd become an invisible pillar, supporting her life while his own needs went unnoticed. Grabbing her phone, she dialed his number, her heart pounding in her chest. But there was no answer, only the cold, impersonal voice of voicemail.

Panic twisted into a knot in her stomach. She couldn't wait. She threw on a jacket, her phone clutched in her hand as she sprinted out the door. His favourite park, their usual coffee shop, all flashed through her mind, rejected one after another. Where would he go?

Suddenly, a memory surfaced. A conversation weeks ago, about a quiet spot by the river he'd discovered during training. With renewed hope, she hailed a cab, directing the driver to the location.

It was a small clearing, a patch of green tucked away from the city's bustle. As she approached, a choked sob escaped her lips. Daniel sat on a weathered bench, head buried in his hands, his broad shoulders slumped. Even from a distance, she could see the tremor that ran through him.

The river shimmered in the fading light, casting a golden sheen on the tears that streamed down Y/N's face. Daniel sat beside her, a tense silence stretching between them, broken only by the gentle gurgling of the water. Finally, Y/N broke the quiet, her voice thick with emotion.

"Daniel, I..." she started, her voice catching. "I don't even know where to begin."

He looked at her, his expression unreadable. The vibrant blue of his eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, was clouded with hurt.

"You could start with an apology," he said, his voice low and controlled.

Y/N flinched. "I am apologizing, Daniel. From the bottom of my heart. I was so caught up in work, in this damn deadline, that I completely lost sight of everything else. I neglected you, ignored your needs, and for that, I am truly sorry."

A bitter laugh escaped Daniel's lips. "Sorry doesn't quite cut it, Y/N. You weren't just a little busy. You were completely absent. Remember all those cancelled dinners? The calls I practically had to beg you to answer? The constant feeling that I was just an inconvenience in your schedule?"

Y/N's head hung low, the weight of his words crushing her. "I know," she whispered. "I have no excuse. I just… work became this monster, this all-consuming thing that stole everything from me, including my ability to see what was right in front of me."

"And what exactly was in front of you, Y/N?" he asked, his voice laced with a barely suppressed anger. "Because all I saw was a woman who didn't have a single moment to spare for the man who loves her."

Shame burned in Y/N's gut. "No, that's not true. You… you're the most important person in my life. You're my best friend, my confidante, the person I want to share everything with. But I let work come between us, creating a wall I didn't even realize I was building."

Daniel remained silent, his gaze unwavering. Y/N reached for his hand, but he pulled away, a flicker of pain crossing his face.

"You know," he began, his voice tight, "the worst part wasn't the missed dates or the cancelled plans. It was seeing you come home exhausted, glued to that laptop, barely acknowledging my presence. It made me feel invisible, like I didn't matter."

Y/N's heart ached. The image of him, sitting alone at the dinner table she never made it to, fueled the fire of shame within her.

"I see that now," she choked out. "And the truth is? You do matter, Daniel. More than anything. You're my rock, my anchor, the sunshine that makes my world brighter. I was just… so foolish to take it all for granted."

"Love shouldn't be taken for granted, Y/N," he said, his voice softening slightly. "It needs nurturing, attention. It needs to be a two-way street."

Y/N nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. "I understand that now. And I'm willing to put in the work, Daniel. To make things right. To show you just how much you mean to me."

He looked at her, a flicker of hope fighting its way through the pain in his eyes. "Actions speak louder than words, Y/N. Can you prove it?"

"Yes," she said, her voice firm with conviction. "I'll prove it every single day. I'll set boundaries with work, prioritize our time together, and be the partner you deserve. I won't let my career overshadow our love."

Daniel sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. "It won't be easy, Y/N. Trust takes time to rebuild."

"I know," she agreed. "But I'm willing to put in the time, as long as you are."

Silence fell again, but this time, it was different. It wasn't a tense gap, but a space for contemplation, for a shared breath.

Finally, Daniel reached for her hand, his touch gentle but firm. "I… I want this to work, Y/N. But I need you to understand, if this happens again, if work takes over once more, then I can't keep going down this same path."

Y/N squeezed his hand tightly. "I understand. It won't happen again. I promise."

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the river, a fragile hope blossomed between them. The road ahead wouldn't be easy, but with open communication, a commitment to change, and the unwavering flame of love.

The last rays of the sun painted the river a fiery orange, mirroring the burning intensity in Daniel's eyes. Y/N held her breath, waiting for his answer, the weight of her apology heavy in the air.

Then, with a sigh that seemed to carry the burden of weeks, Daniel reached out. Not for her hand, but for her. He pulled her close, engulfing her in a hug that spoke volumes more than any words could.

His arms wrapped around her tightly, his hold a mixture of relief and lingering hurt. Y/N buried her face in his chest, the familiar scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body a sudden comfort.

"Just… don't do it again, alright?" he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. "Work will always be there, but you… you're irreplaceable."

Y/N nodded, tears soaking into his shirt. "Never again, Daniel. I promise."

He loosened his grip slightly, tilting her head back to look at him. His eyes, the color of a summer sky after a storm, were still troubled, but a flicker of forgiveness danced within them.

"You scared me, Y/N," he confessed, his thumb gently wiping away a stray tear. "The thought of losing you… it was unbearable."

A choked sob escaped her lips. "I love you, Daniel. More than words can say. Don't you ever doubt that."

He cupped her face in his hands, his touch sending shivers down her spine. "I know you do," he whispered, his voice husky. "And that's why this matters so much. Because I love you too, Y/N. More than racing, more than anything in this world."

He leaned in then, his lips brushing hers in a tender kiss. It was a kiss filled with forgiveness, with a renewed promise, and most importantly, with a love that had weathered the storm and emerged stronger.

As they pulled apart, foreheads resting together, a gentle breeze ruffled their hair. The setting sun cast an orange glow on their intertwined figures, a symbol of a new beginning, a love story rekindled with the promise of a brighter tomorrow.

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini Series

ENHYPEN as Taylor Swifts Song

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

synopsis: they said in our life, there will be that one love that is so intense and passionate. the type of love that has good and bad days on it, but still feel home for you. the type of love that makes you crazy. so many emotions but for only one person. that’s park sunghoon for you.

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

word count: 12k.

warnings: toxic relationship, angst, sunghoon being a redflag. (let me know if i missed some)

note: i got totally carried away with this one and honestly i’m totally satisfied on how i wrote this. i’m currently on my psh phase so i’m totally crazy for him lol anyway, i hope you enjoy this fic and please please please leave your thoughts on replies or send me some ask. it helps so much to keep me writing more. ily & stay safe!

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.

“Where are you going?” you asked while pulling the sheet up to your chest, watching your boyfriend scurrying to gather his things as he put his clothes on.

He threw you a short glance, hair still disheveled from the heated session you two just shared and went back on to what he was doing.

“Band practice.” he shortly replied.

You gulped, spacing out after his response. Its not that this is the first time he did this. Having sex with you and leave once his bandmates calls him out for practice. You always think that it was his priority over his relationship with you.

His steps are quick when he approach and kissed the top of your head like as if it will do any better.

“I'll see you later, okay?” and then turned his back to go on his way without sending you another look.

After hearing the sound of the door closing and locks clicking, you laid back on your shared bed and stared right at the ceiling. Mind occupied by a lot of thoughts and slowly feeling the energy finally draining out of you.

You have been dating Park Sunghoon for exactly three years now. He's the hot drummer of the band called PARADOX. Handsome, talented and very passionate man. He sure love what he does the most, music.

People who knows the two of you may say that your relationship with him is pretty sturdy. Despite the scruffles and misunderstanding along the side, the memories and bond you built together was not easy to break.

They'll also probably mention how the two of you are an odd combination. You, being someone who finished college to have a righteous degree and works as a fine finance manager in a big company and Sunghoon, being the drummer of a said band.

Its not that being in a band and making music is a bad occupation, its just compared to yours, his is just more unstable. Yes, he is good. His band is really good and somehow makes it to places to share their music, but at some point it just doesn't fit.

Sometimes, they still wonder how the two of you works it out. How you can handle the mess and the outgoing side of Park Sunghoon, notwithstanding the fact of being someone who loves peace and have a priggish personality.

“Are you still playing in that band?” this are the common question your Father loves to throw during dinners whenever you take Sunghoon home with you.

You've always know how things ends up so you are expeditious on getting in between.

“Dad.” you looked at him with a pleading eyes, hoping he'll cooperate tonight and let you guys have a peaceful dinner just for once.

Sunghoon tensed beside you as his hold over his utensils tighten, as well as his jaw. It was already hard to swallow food now that he's inside your home having dinner with your parents and now your Dad is again belittling him.

“Yes, sir.” he answered.

The usual disappointing and downgrading look on his face makes Sunghoon feels awful. During this time is when he'll surely never get used to. It makes him realize that no matter how good he do, no matter how great his band became, he will never be someone so worthy in the eyes of your Father.

“And for how long will you plan to do this nonsense?” he was not holding back at all. His wife, your Mom, beside him gently reaches for his arm, trying to stop him from saying more.

Sunghoon clenched his jaw, “Making music is not nonsense. We are doing well right now, sir.”

The way he says those words just makes your Father even more pissed at him. He always hates how he was so confident and prideful. The way he stands whenever he greets him after arriving at your home is giving off as someone imperious.

He scoffed humorless, “And for how long? I've already told you that there's no future in that dream of yours.”

“Dad!” your voice raised because you couldn't handle what he's saying right now.

Sunghoon stands abruptly, making a dragging sound from the chair he was occupying. He balled his fist and just stormed outside of your house. You stood and stared at your Dad with a look of dispair in your eyes. He didn't back down and just gave you this knowing look.

“I asked you to stop doing that.”

“And I already told you to leave that boy countless times, y/n. Stop wasting your time with him!” he strictly said.

“Never.” and with that you turned your feet to start coming after your boyfriend.

You saw him a few blocks away walking towards where he parked his motorcycle. With quick steps, you try to catch up on him.

“Sunghoon!” you screamed, but he didn't even looked back on you.

With gritted teeth, you hurried your steps even more and right on time that he ride his motorcycle, you grabbed him by his arm.

“Why are you not stopping!” you yelled, tears brimming your eyes.

He glanced at you and that's when you saw his bloodshot eyes. Your boyfriend never cries. His playful demeanor never showed his weak side, even with you. Maybe your father was right. He is someone full of pride and sometimes arrogant, but you love him. And he loves you.

“I told you already that I don't want to come! But you forced me anyway!” he yelled, making you flinch a little.

It was really your fault because you are so persistent on making the things between your Dad and him to work despite knowing the outcome of this visit to your parent's house.

“He will never see me worthy of you. You are always so hard to reach for me...” his tone low that made your heart crack. You've never seen him like this before.

His eyes darken as he teared his gaze away, shoving your hold off from his arm. You started to panic and watch how he grabs the handle of his vehicle then started the engine.

“W-What are you doing? Are you leaving m-me?” you asked in a broken tone that made him falter a bit, but the pain from the scene of how your father belittled him was stronger.

Rain starts pouring, but you stood your ground. Didn't even bothered that you are starting to get soaked by the now pouring rain.

“P-Please, don't do this.” you begged and Sunghoon stared at you and maybe it was the rain? Or the cold breeze surrounding you two, but he seems so cold and distant. It breaks you slowly.

“I l-love you so much.” you gulped getting rid of the lump on your throat. “P-Please.”

But he starts droving off. Your heart sank and quickly tries to run after him. Its stupid because there's no way to catch up just by running, but your mind was too clouded to even think straight.

The rain poured even harder and your knees felt weak from running too much. You stopped and cries even harder, heart feeling so broken. You don't feel bothered by the cold at all and all you can think of is how your chest is hurting so bad. You felt slightly suffocated from crying so hard, giving you a hard time to breath.

A roaring sound of an engine makes you lift your head and a string of hope ignites when you saw lights emitting from a vehicle that is driving near you.

Your lips shakes when you saw the familiar motorcycle stopping beside you, Sunghoon's all drenched like you when he turned his head at your side.

“Your father,” he starts and you shake your head sideways trying to stop him, but he continued. “he may hate me to his bones. He may resent me and never want me for you.” one of his hand lets go from the handle and reach over your hand.

“But I love you.” he said firmly that made you tear up even more. “I love you so fucking much that it hurts.” he pursed his lips hardly, jaw clenching hard as he tries to hide his emotions.

You cried and lets go from his hand to cup his face. Both feeling so cold from the nonstop rain but the warmth you two are giving each were enough for you. You leaned in connecting your lips before pulling away to stare at his eyes.

“I don't care about what he thinks. I only want you and no one else.”

He smirks then starts handing you a helmet.

“Then hop on, pretty. We're going to get sick if we stay here longer.”

And without a hint of hesitation, you wore the helmet and hopped on his motorbike. Sunghoon pulls your arm so you can hug him from behind.

“Hold on tight and don't let go.”

“Never.”

“Sunghoon, I told you already I'm still at the office. I can't be out until before 9pm.” your elbow rests over your desk as you try and massage your temple to ease your aching head.

“But our gig will start at eight pm, y/n. You said you'll watch.” he sounded so upset.

Normally, you will hurry yourself to go attend his gig but today was a rough day for you as well. Too many office works are lined up for you, workload piled up that you don't even know where to start. You know how much it means for Sunghoon having you to be there for him. But today's just so draining. And sometimes you kind of feel like you were always there for him but when will he be there for you?

“Sunghoon,” you draw in a heavy breath, calming yourself down to prevent saying anything that can spoil his mood. That’s the last thing you want to do if he have a gig.

“It’s just unexpctedly a very busy day. I need to finish all these works on time—” he cuts you even before you can finish your sentence.

“Just say it if you want to spend time with that co-worker and stop making lame excuses, y/n.” the sarcasm that lurks over his tone caught you dumbfounded.

Your mouth hanged open, unable to even utter your response to this nonsense he’s trying to imply. He’s very unbelievable. You are very tired already, the workload’s too heavy and here he is doubting you. He still have the audacity of accusing you over things when all you want is for this day to be over so you can see him and rest.

Sunghoon’s naturally a jealous boyfriend. He’s very possessive of you to the point that sometimes it can be out of hand. His bad temper and jealous demeanor is not a good combo because he always ends up fucking up things and telling you things he didn’t mean at all.

“Baby, no. Of course not! I really want to watch your gig, you know that right? It’s just—”

“You will really choose that over me, aren’t you? Like as if people doesn’t think I was unworthy of you already. You just really need to prove more...” his monotonous tone are like knives straight to your heart.

“Don’t even go there. You know its not that.” your lips tremble along with your hands as the conversations starts to get more intense.

“Yeah, right. Have fun with your co-worker.” he mumbled with a bitter tone and ended the call right away.

You shut your eyes as you drop your phone to your desk wrecklessly before running your hand through your hair, messing it a bit. The silence occupying the almost empty building floor didn’t help from the aching of your head. He’s really just unbelievable.

And it’s even more unbelievable that you are still so in love with him despite the red flags he’s obviously showing you. It was too late for you to even realize that you are already packing your things to go and see your boyfriend’s gig. The mountain-like paperworks that were on your table caught your eyes and made you halt for a bit, but in the end you chose to turn the lights off and head out of your office. Off to see your sulking boyfriend.

When you arrived, it was their last song for the night. The traffic on the way made the suppose to be 20 minute travel an hour long drive. A relieved sigh made it to your lips while you walk towards their manager, your feet starts to stings from your high-heel.

“Y/n! I thought you couldn’t make it tonight? Sunghoon said.” he smiled warmly before giving you a friendly hug.

You tried your best to return his smile as your eyes roamed and trailed over to the stage. The spotlight that pointed over your boyfriend gave you the chance to have the perfect view of him playing passionately. A small string tugs inside your heart while watching him, eyes closed and letting himself be drawn by music.

When people ask you why you fell so hard for him, they probably won’t understand you unless they’ll be in your shoes themselves. These are the moment he shines the most. The moment you can clearly see the real him. His love for his passion and his smiles melts you from the inside and out. It was unexplainable. You love Sunghoon. You love him so dearly to the point your heart aches.

When he opens his eyes like as if he felt an intense eyes are watching him, he met yours. Those pretty eyes that looks at him with so much affection. The eyes that pretty much made him feel things no one else can. The eyes that can comfort him. His safe place, his solace and his other half. For Sunghoon, if music is his passion then you are the life that pushes him to chase it. His inspiration.

His eyes fixated over you and lips pursed into a pout, still sulking. That made you chuckle and mouthed, ‘I love you.’

Sunghoon’s lips lifts up before responding, ‘I love you too.’ that made your stomach churns and heart thumping like crazy. Somehow it made you feel at ease. Despite all the worries and trials, as long as you have him, you will manage.

Only you and him will understand the type of love you share with each other.

“Thank you so much for tonight everyone! And we are...” Heeseung, their lead vocalists stalls his words and glanced at his band-mates and in unison they leaned over the mics near them and said, “PARADOX.”

The crowd cheers and you can see how they truly enjoyed the whole show. A small, but proud smile made its way towards your lips. The boys did a short fan service while you stay at the side with their manager. Girls swarms around them, but you didn’t mind it. This isn’t new for you anymore and if you want a partner in this line of job, you should prepare yourself for crazy fangirls.

“I’m really glad you made it, y/n” your head snaps over to the side when their manager spoke. He gave you this sincere look on his face and some other kind of gaze you couldn’t identify.

He sports this plain white shirt and some jeans. Hair styled in a pretty basic style any boy could pull and then he stood there a little stiff. You gave him a smile and a clap over his shoulder.

“Of course, I want my boyfriend to know I’m always here for him.” you stated that made his smile falter for a bit. He was quick to pull it back up, nodding his head slowly like as if he was reminded of something.

“Right... Sunghoon.” he mumbled.

Your gaze remained at him, a little confused of his reaction. It bothered you a bit so you’re about to ask him what’s wrong when a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist.

“Hi hotstuff.” Sunghoon’s voice sounded so seductive as he quickly leans for a heated kiss.

You squeals lightly and tries to pull off from him, but ends up giving in and showing everyone how you two devours each other’s faces. One of Sunghoon’s hand moved down to slightly grope your butt that made you moan a little over his lips. He smirks, mission accomplished for him.

He was greeted by your blushing cheeks once he pulled away, one hand still possessively resting over your waist to keep you close to him.

“H-Hello,” the impact of your latest stunt dawning you, making you feel so shy.

He smirks, fangs showing and good Lord, does he look even hotter.

“You came.” his tone indicates the joy to see you here and that just makes you feel so much better. He may not vocally thank you or tell you he appreciates it so much, but the way his eyes twinkle and shines was enough for you to know how he feels.

“Of course. My boyfriend is being sulky so I have no other choice.” the corner of your lips lifts up, taunting him.

He stares at your eyes before grinning even wider, “I’m not sulky.” he leans in again, couldn’t resist your lips after glancing at it for a second. After he placed a loving kiss, he leans away and went back on facing his friends.

You watch how he threw a short glance at their manager as well and it remained for a while before he direct his attention to some acquaintances that are greeting his band.

The night was long, as usual. This is pretty much what happens whenever he have gigs. You feel so tired, feet feels so painful that you are sure you grew blisters over it. Your eyelids felt so heavy as well, the long day finally kicking in. The boys are still loud and celebrating, but finally one called it a night.

All of you starts heading outside the bar they performed in. Sunghoon’s walking a few steps ahead of you, talking and goofing with his friends. You are silent, too tired to even listen or join on their conversation.

You were almost hit by the door when Sunghoon didn’t even remember to hold it for you. He was too busy talking to his band-mates and didn’t even noticed that the door almost slapped you on the face. Thankfully, an arm held it for you.

“Thank you, Riki.” you gave him a small smile.

You’ve been together with Sunghoon for a while now so that only means you’ve hanged out with his band countless times causing you to grew closer towards them. But for some reasons, Riki is the only one who is somehow felt awkward to be with. You cannot explain why, but there’s just something about him that leaves you nothing to say.

He didn’t smile or anything, just stared down to you using his intimidating eyes.

“No problem.” shivers ran to your spines because of his low voice. His eyes then moved from looking at your eyes towards your things you’re trying to juggle with your arms.

“Let me help you.” it was not a question and even before you can say something to politely reject his offer, his hands reaches over to help you carry your things.

“U-Uhm, thanks.” and your eyes drifted over him as he didn't spoke any words after that.

Riki walks you up to where your boyfriend’s car was parked. Sunghoon’s eyes finally caught you and you don’t even know what to tell him while you approach closer.

His strict eyes caught to your things being carried by Riki. When you are steps away from him, he approaches trying to keep a cool smile.

“Baby, you disappeared from behind me.” and he said that while eyes fixed at his bandmate.

“Well if you keep a close eye to your girlfriend, you might’ve noticed how she’s struggling carrying her stuff, hyung.” Riki didn’t even hesitate to say those words at him.

Sunghoon wasn’t happy about it and you can clearly see anger slowly rising through his face. He clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks and was about to advance towards Riki, but you stopped him.

“Can we just go? It’s already late and I have work tomorrow.” you stared straight at his eyes.

They were arrogantly looking at you, but eventually softening in surrender. He sighs and grabbed your hand to intertwin your fingers before he nods silently. His head snapped over to his friend and he gave him this knowing look before opening the car’s door for you.

He retrieved your things from Riki and placed it neatly behind your car. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything anymore and just went inside his car afterwards. Riki went on his way as well, riding his motorbike that was parked not too far away.

Sunghoon starts his engine and both of you are silent. It was like that for the first few minutes of the drive, until he decides to break it.

“When did you even got close to Riki?” his tone sounds confused and at the same time implicating something.

You furrowed your brows and glanced at him, “He just helped me to carry my things—”

“Exactly! He doesn’t do that at all, y/n.” the way he said your name was with emphasis. Like telling you that its a serious matter for him. A big deal. But again, when did it never became a big deal when other boys gets involve with you?

“And? I’m his bandmate’s girlfriend. Isn’t it okay for him to help me?!” now, you can’t help but to feel upset about this because you are tired already and he’s making an argument just because Riki helped you.

“You’re just really clueless with your surroundings. You will never understand.” the way his grip tightens at the steering wheel and his jaw clenches caught your attention.

You wanted to just yell at him and point out how he’s being unreasonable and plain childish about this, but you are too drained. Its late already, you’re tired from the office, your feet hurts with this dumb heels and you feel sticky from all the travel you did just to get to their gig. Having an argument with him was the last thing you expected to have.

“Its not my fault that my boyfriend forgot about me and walks off.” you sighed and he was silent after hearing that from you.

“Can’t you just be thankful that he helped me and I didn’t broke an arm from carrying all those stuff?” this time, you tried to soften your tone as a sign of time-out from this nonsense argument he was trying to put up with.

You saw his grip softens and he released a heavy sigh. “Fine.” he glanced at you and his brows are not hardly furrowed anymore. His eyes softens as well. “I’m sorry, baby. Its not my intention to make you feel like I forgot you, I was just really excited.”

With pursed lips, you nodded your head and leaned in for a quick peck over his lips.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t spoil the mood. You were really great from a while ago.” you complimented him, finishing it with your warm smile.

Something warm caress his heart. This is one of the reasons why he can never let you go. Most people would’ve walked out on him or hate at him, but not you. Never.

You will always find a way to find the goodness in him. Even if 99 problematic things about him are presented in front of you, you’ll still find that 1 good thing about him.

You always know the perfect words to calm him down or make him feel better.

He reached over your hand that was resting over your thighs and took it over his lips for a soft kiss. His gaze never left your eyes.

“Thank you for today, really.” he sighs, trying to supply himself more oxygen as he feels like you’re taking his breaths away once again.

“I love you.”

A smile spreads across your face and your free hand stretched out towards him to cup his face. “I love you, Hoon.”

These are the moments you wanted to keep no matter what. Reasons why despite the hardships you go through with Sunghoon, you always manages to find a reason to stay.

But of course, there’s not always good times in your relationship. What else gives it spice other than petty arguments and very random fights with each other?

Months after, the band had another big gig and of course you went to support him like usual. To your surprise, they had a guest singer. Female singer to be exact. And the way she interacts with your boyfriend just can’t leave your mind. It’s bothering you.

“You two seems close.” the comment was short and your eyes watch how your boyfriend load his things inside his car while you rest your back beside it.

Sunghoon threw you a short glance and narrowed his brows.

“What do you mean?”

“You and that girl.” the way you pronounced the word ‘girl’ with so much emphasis gave off hints towards him that you’re implying something.

His shoulder fell as he stared at you for a while, like unconsciously asking if you’re being serious with the choice of tone you decided to use at him. He sighs, when he realized you aren’t budging, but instead crossed your arms at him.

He’s already too tired to even explain things that you won’t listen to. So he struts closer you, held you over your hips and planted a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Let’s just go home, hot stuff. I’m tired.” and he walks over to the driver’s seat not even bothering to open the door for you.

But it seems like you are in the mood to be petty. So even after you made it to the passenger seat and he started driving on your way home, you bring up that topic once again.

“I saw the way she looks at you. I bet she’s undressing you in her mind.”

It made him sigh and roll his eyes. “Seriously? Are you going to talk about that until we makes it to the apartment?”

“Why? You irritated already?” you tilt your head and he glanced at you with piercing gaze. It didn’t bother you at all. If he’s pissed, then you are too.

“You didn’t even introduce me to her.”

His fingers taps his steering wheel more frequently and bit his lips. He sighs, calming himself.

“I did. I even told her your name.”

“But you didn’t told her that I’m your girlfriend!” it was so petty. Even you, you also think that this is such a nonsense thing to argue off. It’s just seeing her look at your boyfriend that way while you’re there doesn’t sit right for you.

Sunghoon scoffed loudly and even if he have a smirk on his face, there was no humor on it. He’s slowly losing his patience.

The wiper of his car moves when it suddenly started raining. It’s the last thing you care about. Your focus is on the hot drummer that’s currently driving you home in your shared apartment. The hot drummer that’s clenching his jaw hardly while trying his best not to argue with you. The hot drummer whose lips so red after you kissed him multiple times to make that bitch know her place. The hot drummer that is clenching his jaw hardly because you keep pushing his buttons at the moment.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” he couldn’t help, but curse.

“Be honest with me. Are you two close? Because with the way she linked her arms, it seems like so.”

He rolled his eyes as he teared his gaze off of you and back to the road. The rain are still pouring hard that its a little difficult to drive.

“You really aren’t going to stop unless I answer your questions, are you?” he surrenders. You didn’t answer and just crossed your arms while looking at him. Waiting for what he’s about to say.

He gave you another short glance as he shook his head. Like he couldn’t believe what situation you just put him into.

Honestly, you don’t know what exactly it is that you wanted to hear from him. If he answers that he doesn’t know her that long, you will still feel pissed because why the hell does she acts like they’ve been best friends ever since they were born? And if he answers, yes they know each other for a long time, you will feel really bad because you will feel jealous.

“We’ve known each other since highschool. Even before the band started playing in other places.” he says.

Your shoulder fell and he saw it from his peripheral view. He knew you won’t feel so good about it, but he also know that lying about it will only make the situation worse. The car fell silent right after he said it.

“Is she your ex-girlfriend?” that question doesn’t sound like you are asking him. Its more like you already know and just expecting an answer from him.

“No, okay? So calm your dumbass.” he’s starting to lose his patience for you.

You’ll be honest, you kind of thought he would say yes. That actually made you feel better. But not enough to let her slip away from your mind. Those eyes. The way she looks at you just boils something inside you.

“Did you two kissed before?” you fired him that question with more suspicion.

When you saw the look on his face, you felt something in your heart cracks. It definitely stab something in you when his expression confirmed that.

With slightly teary eyed, you raised your chin up to ask him your last question.

“Did you have sex with her?” bitterness latched through your voice and you bit your lower lip when he stayed silent again. Confirmed.

“Pull over.” you command and harshly wiped the tears that escaped.

He sighs, “Baby, come on...” he pursed his lips and even tried to reach over you.

“I said pull over!”

He clenched his jaw tighter then obliged, knowing well you will just fall into a much worse mood if he don’t do as you say. He’s expecting you to hit him by his arm or shout at him again, but he surely didn’t expect you storming out from his car. He didn’t see that one coming.

Between you two, he’s the jealous one. There are rare times that you get jealous and when it happens, its so hard to calm you down. Sunghoon’s heart is thumping hard, slightly thrilled to watch you acting like this. The oh so perfect, y/n. Shouting and acting crazy out of jealousy. He bet he’s the only one who made you feel like this.

“Y/n!” he shouts and went after you.

The rain starts to pour harder, but it didn’t bothered you at all. You marched away from his car, towards the nearest bus stop. With just a few steps, he managed to catch up on you and grabbed your arm then yanked you towards him.

“Let me go!” you screamed at him.

Sunghoon’s clenching his jaw as he stares at your face carefully. It was hard to tell if you’re crying or not due to the rain that’s slowly soaking you both. Despite your attempts to free yourself, Sunghoon just tightens his grip and kept his stares over you.

“Stop being a brat and let’s go back inside the car! We’re both drenched because of you!”

You clenched your jaw and hands into fists. People who passes by will probably think that you’re both losing your minds. Going out in the middle of the rain and fighting at 2 am. Thankfully, there are fewer cars driving through.

“I cannot believe you fuck that bitch!” it was rare enough to see you shouting, but much more rare to hear you cursing like this.

“It was a long time ago!” he renew his hold and this time reached for the other arm. The wetness of your skin kind of makes it slippery, but he knew he won’t let go of you.

“That happened before you, y/n! And it means nothing for me.”

“Clearly isn’t the same for her?!” you stopped resisting and just stay still, glaring at him.

“The way she links her arms and flirts with you drives me insane! Like I want to pull you away and kiss you in front of her type of insane!”

Sunghoon’s dumbfounded. He knows he should not feel so happy about what he heard, but he is. Just by thinking of you going crazy to the point you’ll insist public affection is making his heart race. To think you are crazy for him as he is to you, is driving him even more crazier. He just couldn’t get enough of you.

“Then why didn’t you?” this time he seems more calmer that made your narrowed brows falter. He was just screaming at you too, now he’s a lot calmer.

“I’m yours, y/n. I belong to you so claiming me in front of anybody is no problem at all.” he says and took another step closer. Your bodies pressed together and when he noticed that you aren’t trying to escape his hold anymore, he raised his hand to cup your face.

“I don’t fucking care if she tries to flirt with me. I don’t care about her. All I care about is you.” his eyes slowly roams his eyes to your pretty face.

“Yes, we did kissed and fucked before,” he sighs and your lips pursed into a pout but let him finish what he wants to say.

“But she never made me feel like this.” he held one of your hand then rest it above his chest, enough for you to feel his racing heartbeat.

“She doesn’t make me nervous whenever she stares at my eyes. She doesn’t give me butterflies whenever she smiles at me or melt my heart whenever she hold me.” your eyes water from his sincere words as he licked his lower lip, gaze not leaving you.

Both of you are soaked, but it didn’t bother you at all. Sunghoon’s bangs covers his forehead, some beads of rains falling from it over to your face as he stare down at you.

“That’s all you, love. Only you can make me feel madly in love. Like I will go crazy because I love you too much.” a tear fell from his eyes along with the raindrops from his hair. He looked ethereal staring at you lovingly, with so much emotions that makes your heart burst because of exceptional happiness.

“That’s the way I love you.” he murmured near your lips before you leaned to press a hot kiss for him.

“I love you so much, Hoon.” and this time, it was his turn to lean and kiss you passionately.

Disregarding the fact that you are under the hard pouring rain, sharing probably one of the most memorable kisses of your relationship, you’re mind is clouded by how intense your feelings are for the man that holding you right now. It’s funny how moments ago you’re just screaming at each other and now, your lips feels so hot connected together.

But it seems like, love is not enough to keep the relationship steady. And just like what older people used to say, everything is bad when its too much.

Being with Sunghoon felt like a dream with nightmares, clear blue oceans with big dangerous waves and a freaking roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re so happy that you feel like your heart will burst with so much emotions and sometimes you feel like everything’s too much. That its tiring and draining you.

It somehow toxicating. And this toxic relationship with Sunghoon is honestly tiring you.

“And now you are giving me the silent treatment? Wow!” his sarcasm rubs on you, making your heart feel more heavy.

“I have nothing to say to you after what you just did, Sunghoon.”

“What? You’re mad because I embarrassed him? He’s clearly hitting on you!” your head snaps at him with glaring eyes.

“He’s just being nice and he’s my head supervisor!” your tone raised and he didn’t liked it in one bit.

Sunghoon’s always the jealous boyfriend. You actually couldn’t understand why he’s being like this when you already made it so clear that he’s the only one for you. That there’s no man that can ever steal you away from him.

“Oh, okay. I see...” he clenched his jaw before laughing with no humor. He faced the road and tried hard to focus on driving.

“If you want to impress your supervisor so much, why bring me with you?!” his statement made you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Because you’re my boyfriend and I want you to be there for me! Will it hurt so much to be supportive or know something about what your girlfriend loves to do?! It’s not always going to be about you, Sunghoon! I need you to be there for me too!”

Your words may had come out wrongly, but all you wanted is for him to be for you. It was a thrilling day since employees should make good impressions to the supervisors to show how fit and reliable they are for the company, but your bofriend just made a scene and now you have no idea how you will show up to work on Monday.

“I told you already that these type of events are not for me! People are clearly looking down on me for having such a wonderful girl like you! They will always rub it on my face how perfect you are and that you deserve so much better!” his tone raised and it made you jolt a bit.

“And it seems like you just don’t get it! You kept on forcing me to go and I hated it! You are just determined to prove me that they’re so right!”

Your heart cracks and his words are like knives straight to your heart. You know him. Whenever he’s mad, he ought to say words he doesn’t mean. That’s his way of avoiding to show what he truly feels. You can tell by his blood-shot eyes and clenching jaw. But you are tired. You are tired of understanding him.

“Is that how you really see me? Do you really think that that’s what I’m doing?”

He clenches his jaw, being stubborn. “Maybe you are really ambitious and I’m just the stupid boyfriend who knows nothing but to enjoy music.” he says emotionless.

A tear left your eye. You can’t take this anymore. You had enough.

“Stop the car.” it was almost audible, but thanks to the deafening silence after what he said made it clear and loud. He furrowed his brows and looked at you, checking if you’re being serious.

You two have been arguing about you and this job for a week. And the event is today and Sunghoon just ruined it for you. Honestly you’re getting enough of it. With all the stress from your work and family, he suppose to be your resting place. But that’s not the case anymore.

He did stop the car and even before you open it, he said something. “The moment you leave, we’re done.” he said coldly.

You halted from stepping outside and felt your heart crack, but you knew you needed it and so you did. You left him.

“Jake’s so sweet, y/n! I truly envy you for having him as your boyfriend!” one of your friends exclaimed right after Jake left your table to go order some food.

You gave them a small smile. They’re right. Jake is really the best boyfriend. He treats you very well. He’s everything you’ve asked for before. A caring and loving boyfriend. He’s working in the corporate world, which matches yours. He’s very gentle towards you, always got the doors for you, he never makes you wait, he cares for what you want and a man of his words. He felt like so warm to be with, someone you can be comfortable with easily.

“Yeah,” you replied short with a small smile on your lips. They giggle, truly happy for you.

“Thank God you snapped out of it and finally got the man you deserve.” one of them says that made your smile falter.

She didn’t mention anything or any name, but you knew who she’s referring to and what she means by that sentence.

An awkward laugh from another friend broke the silence and just diverted the topic. You tried to pull up your smile once again, especially after seeing from a distance that Jake’s already on his way back to your table.

He sets himself at the chair beside you and smoothly made a conversation with your friends. He’s very friendly too. He gets along with people with no sweat. Such a pure man.

You’re about to put a straw to your drink, but he beats you out of it. He reached for it and carefully slid it towards you while still talking to your friends. It made you smile. Being treated like this sure feels right, feels okay. But why does your heart feel a little heavy?

Jake threw his arm and placed it behind your chair, hand caressing your arm gently. You pushed whatever that feeling is behind your mind and tries to join their conversation as well.

The day went smoothly and now Jake dropped you at your place. As you unclasped your seatbelt, he went out of the car then walked around so he can open your door for you. He even offered a hand with that warm smile of his.

A chuckle slips off from you before you accepted it and went out. His other hand rests over your hip as he slightly pins you to his car to place a kiss over your lips. He smiles after a couple of pecks then leans away to stare at your eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” he says sincerely that made you smile widely. Jake and his words.

“You’ve been saying that all day, Jake.”

He chuckles, biting his lips feeling a little shy. “Just so you wouldn’t forget.”

“Thank you.” you said while looking straight to his eyes.

He might take it as a thank you for today, but there’s more to it. Jake’s the next serious relationship after Sunghoon and it can’t be helped to compare the two of them. Even if you know its not good to do that, you just can’t stop yourself from doing so. They’re very different from each other.

“No problem.” he leans again to give you another peck.

“See you tomorrow, baby.” Jake said with a soft smile. You nodded and waved before going inside your apartment and called it a day.

It’s been almost a year ever since that night and yet its still fresh from your memory like it was just yesterday. You resigned from your previous job. You wanted so bad to convince everybody that it was because you’re embarrassed by what happened prior to it, but no. It was mainly because you kind of blamed it for losing your relationship. Kind of dumb, but maybe you are really insane when it comes to him.

Sunghoon never contacted you after that. You didn’t hear from him ever since and honestly it pissed and got you butt hurt. Well, you did change your number and blocked him from all your social media but you kind of hoped he will try to reach out for you.

Seems like it was meant to end that way.

Some people from your life kept telling you that you did the right thing, that it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You got a new job, got a new boyfriend that your parents approved. They adore Jake so much. He’s so close to your Mother and to your Dad as they’re both into business.

You should be happy about it. You are happy. But a part of you aches for someone. A bitter feeling lingers inside you because they never tried to open their heart for Sunghoon before. It makes you think that if they did, maybe things went a little more okay.

You threw your head back and stared at the ceiling. A slight guilt crept inside your heart. You got the perfect boyfriend you’ve been praying for and he’s treating you right. He barely even fight with you as he was always understanding.

But as stupid as it sounds, you missed screaming and fighting with Sunghoon. Those instense moments that just brings out much more emotions within you that makes you act insane.

These thoughts are making you crazy so you decided to take a quick shower and just call it a day. You went to bed with eyes brimmed with tears, aching and missing him so bad. It frustrates you because you feel helpless, unable to do anything about it. You’re scared to think that you are still thinking of him right now while he’s happy with someone else.

The next thing you know, it was morning already. Your eyes hurts a bit for crying to sleep last night so you’re slightly out of it when you went to your office.

“Do you want some coffee? Looks like you need one.” one of your officemates offered that you returned with a small pout.

“Please.” and she nods before going to the pantry for a while to get you your coffee.

“Here you go.” and she gently placed it on your working table. You mumbled a small ‘thanks’ as she settles at her chair beside yours.

“Oh!” your head craned to glance at her. “We will be meeting the new potential investors to our company later. I heard one of them is really good looking.” she giggles that made you smirk.

“You know its not always just by the looks, right?”

She rolled her eyes, “Easy for you to say because you have a gorgeous boyfriend!”

You laughed, “That is right.”

You joked around for a while before you’re asked to prepare for the arrival of the vip guests. Soon after, your head supervisor walks in and behind her are men wearing suits and tie. Looking like some young bachelors. Tall and handsome men.

As your eyes shifted to the last one who walks inside, your heart dropped. His familiar fair skin, charcoal black hair, noise pointy with a pretty mole at the side of it, eyes blank surrounded with thick and pretty eyelashes, topping it with his thick eyebrows that makes his skin color glow even more. His lips naturally red and luscious. Your knees weakened at the sight and heart started to race.

“Oh my god, Y/n!” she whispered beside you and even wiggled a little like as if she was got electicuted.

“He's so handsome!”

Oh hell yes he is. And your eyes watered at the sight of him. The familiar feeling of longing occupies your whole system. Park Sunghoon stood there looking so breathtaking. You missed everything in him and you hate how he looked so okay.

He unconsciously roamed his eyes around and accidentally met yours. It grew slightly, clearly not expecting seeing you. His lips parted a bit and didn’t glanced away.

“Y/n?” she snapped you out of your thoughts and you quickly teared your gaze away, feeling ashamed for staring too long. He probably saw you looking like a loser for being affected too much.

Sooner, they guided you inside to start the meeting and you kept on shifting from your seat. Having meeting like this is normal for you already, but now that you have your ex boyfriend sat at the other end of the table makes you really conscious.

“You okay?” your office mate might’ve noticed your weird demeanor so she looked concern.

You flashed her a shy smile and nodded then tried to focus on the person talking. But a minute after, your mind is drifting somewhere else once again. Even before you know it, your eyes shifts to where he was sat and to your surprise, he’s looking at you already.

You glanced away and cleared your throat. Embarrased that he caught you stealing glances at him.

When you couldn’t take it anymore, you turned over your supervisor and tried excusing yourself. Making up a lie that you’re not feeling well. She seemed to buy it and asked you to take a rest. Without wasting anytime, you stood up and politely excused yourself from the meeting.

A few steps out from the conference room and you heard it opened again. You ignored it and tried calming yourself, but the memory of Sunghoon’s eyes flashed before your eyes. Your eyes got teary. Seeing him just awoke your sleeping feelings for him that you tried to bury deep inside your heart.

“Y/n.” and a hand halted you from making another step.

You glanced at the person who stopped you and your heart thumped even faster. His brows narrowed and eyes looked concern.

“Are you okay? Why did you leave the meeting?” his tone sounded so soft and it makes you want to cry on the spot.

Now that you’re face to face and this close to each other, you can see how much he grown. He slightly changed. Good change, mostly. He looked even more mature and manly. His familiar manly scent invaded your nose that draws in so many memories of you two.

“Y-Yes,” and you flashed him a fake smile. “How are you, Sunghoon? It’s b-been a while.”

His shoulder relaxed after hearing that you’re okay. His eyes dropped to his hand holding your arm and slowly, he lets go of it.

“I’m good.” he responded briefly before roaming his eyes on your face. His heart aches.

“It looks like you’ve been doing well.” there's a hint of sadness looming over his tone, but you tried to ignore it thinking that you’re just mishearing it.

“Yeah.”

“Good to know.” it sounded a little sarcastic.

“Why are you here? Did you stop playing with your band?” the question you wanted to ask so bad. It was odd enough to see him here and much weirder because you know how much he hates wearing suit and ties. Tho you must admit that he looks so good on it.

He smirks, bitterness over his eyes.

“I still do, but not as often as before.”

“Ohh,” you sounded sad because you are. You know how much he loves doing that.

You’re about to say something else when your phone rang. You fished it from your pocket and when you saw your boyfriend’s caller id, you felt like someone slapped you back to reality. You want to hurt yourself for starting to act crazy once again just after seeing your ex boyfriend.

When you glance back at him, you saw his eyes darted at your phone with a cold expression on his face. You gulped, feeling nervous before you answered it.

“Baby!” the cheerfulness over Jake’s voice spreads guilt on your chest pretty fast. A tsunami on the shore, coming unexpected.

“H-hey, babe.” you murmured and steal a glance over at Sunghoon.

His expression fell cold as he straighten his back, not leaning anymore so he can slightly match your height. His hands slid inside his pocket as he stared at you intensely. His eyes are piercing right at you, like a cop catching you red-handed. To why he is still standing there and not leaving is slightly a mystery for you.

“Hi sweetheart. I called just to remind you about later tonight.” he says, accent coming a little strong.

Now you’re attention had been snatched away from the beautiful man standing right in front of you. With a confused face, you wondered what he is talking about. Trying to remember if you missed any plans he had made for the two of you tonight.

“T-Tonight? What’s up tonight?” and you slightly turned away from Sunghoon for some privacy. But you can still feel his heated gaze, burning holes at the back of your head.

“Don’t tell me you forgot?” he asks, slightly taunting. You didn’t respond and just wait for him to reveal about it.

“We’re having dinner at your parents tonight, baby.”

You draws in a sigh and hand raised to massage your temple.

“Oh, that was today.”

He chuckles, “Yes. Don’t worry, I got your Mom’s favorite flower and your Dad’s wine.”

You bit your lower lip for another perfect boyfriend scenario he just pulled.

“Thank you, babe. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Hmm, i love you.”

You stood cold on your feet. The words are at your tongue, you just have to say it but for some reasons, something’s stopping you.

“Babe?” Jake’s voice snapped you back to reality and you cleared your throat then chuckles.

“S-Sorry, spaced out a little. I l-love you too, Jake. See you later.”

He chuckles, “Okay, cutie. Have a nice day.” and then he ended the call.

The silence and heavy atmosphere enveloping you and Sunghoon are undescribable. You’ve never had something like this with him. Even during your biggest fights, its never been like this.

Slowly, you glanced at him and his eyes looked cold. For a brief moment, it seemed like you saw sadness on it but when he saw you looking he switched it right in. His jaw clenches as he stares right at you, like waiting for you to say something to him.

“U-Uhm, nice seeing you again. See y-you around, Sunghoon.” and you turn your heels, ready to leave him when he said something.

“So it was that easy for you to find someone else, huh? Glad to finally know it.” his words are filled with nothing but slight anger and bitterness.

“Excuse me?” you whipped your head to look at him with furrowed brows.

“You left me and find someone new. It was easy for you.”

“You. Made. Me. Leave. You.” each words was emphasize so you can make your point.

“And what do you know about what I feel? It was not easy for me!” your tone raised because of how he just made you upset with what he said.

“Doesn’t seem like it for me.”

You thought he changed, but clearly he didn’t. You are dumb enough to be shaken by him.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” and you turned around, having the firm decision of leaving and getting him out of your sight.

Two steps and he managed to grab your wrist once again. He sighs, heavy sighs.

“O-Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” he licked his lips and gently made you face his way.

When he saw through your eyes how he hurt you again with his words, he almost want to hit himself. He already knew what went wrong before. How he fucking messed everything up. How selfish he is. And he doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes once again.

He was always someone whose hard to read. Yes, you are one of the very few people who can understand him right away, who can read through him from time to time and definitely one of the top people who can deal with his shits. Sunghoon’s not really good at showing how he cares to people. He have his own ways of showing them, and he thought that was enough. But he was wrong.

Sunghoon loves you. He loves you so much that he changed a lot ever since you left. He changes his way of thinking and even exerted effort to become someone better for you. It's such a shame that it took him to lose you to realize things.

The thing is no matter how confident he is to a lot of things back then, a part of him was secretly insecure. Insecurities that built up through the journey of having you as his partner. You’re a wonderful person and he always think that he was very lucky to have you. And so the insecurity and fear of losing you gets the best of him.

Being someone whose not expressive and overthinks a lot isn’t a very good combo. Makes him do a lot of stupid things that hurts you so much. He was so regretful of those times and if he can do anything just to go back to fix everything, he will. But he can’t go back. There’s no such thing as time machine.

What he can do is try. Try to make you feel how sorry he was. Try to make you see a different him, a better version of him. The better version that he strive to be just for you. And try to make you feel how much he loves you.

“I’m really sorry for what I did back then.” he started and licked his lips. He kept sighing heavily to ease his nervous feelings, calming his racing heart.

He had rehearsed the words he wants to tell you once he saw you again, but they all became pointless as his mind went blank just by having you standing in front of him.

“Not just the last night we are together,” he felt his heart break by the mention of it. One of the nights he regretted the most. “but I’m sorry for everything. I was so dumb to realize things much faster. I was an idiot for not treating you better.” he licked his lips and stared right to your eyes.

“I love you, y/n. I still do.” the tears pooling your eyes starts to stream down your face.

“The same type of love I feel for you back then. I love you so much that it hurts. It didn’t change at all. It was always you for me.”

Right now, you felt like your heart is being squeezed so hard. These words you wanted to hear from him back then are finally happening. But things are a lot more complicated as it is. Jake’s face flashes through your mind and you can’t take hurting him.

And also because you still feel so hurt he didn’t do anything just to make you stay. Why now? Why now when you’re a little okay already?

Your lips trembles as you open them to speak.

“You know if you only went after me that night, I would’ve stayed. I would not leave you.” you says in your low voice.

His eyes softens and tighten his grip on you. Your eyes dropped at his hand and it took everything in you to unclasp his hold.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon. A lot of things changed already, but,” your words halted. ‘But I still love you.’ were the words you wanted to say.

You shut your eyes and opens them, trying to hide your real feelings for him.

“I do kind of wish you tried to fix it after we ended. I waited for you.”

You saw him broke and it was so much harder for you. To see him like this is your weakness. You’ve always had a soft spot for him and it will always remain like that.

“Y/n I—” he was cut off when the conference room’s door bursts open.

You quickly wiped off your tears. Thankfully, Sunghoon’s built was enough to cover you from whoever that is.

“I have to go. Good bye.” and without sparing him another glance, you stormed out of the scene. Leaving the place. Leaving Sunghoon and leaving your heart with him.

The encounter with your ex boyfriend just made you disoriented. You spaced out most of the day and you’re thankful that the people in your workplace just thought you are not feeling well. They didn’t asked much about it and just gives you space.

When Jake came to pick you up, you felt so much worse. His sweet smiles makes you so guilty. It felt so bad. You feel horrible for still having feelings for your ex when he was there with you. Treating you good like how you wanted.

“Jake! My boy!” your Dad’s cheerful voice errupted the whole room as he went to give him a hug.

You watch how he connected with your parents and it made you think about the times with Sunghoon. They’ve never been like that towards him. Your mother’s a little nicer than your Dad, but she never really tries to know Sunghoon as he is a little intimidating for her. That’s what she said.

Your Dad on the other hand just flat out shut his doors for him. After knowing what he does, he straight up dislikes him without even trying to get to know him more.

It made you feel bad for Sunghoon. Just by thinking of how would he react if he saw this scene of your parents warmly welcoming Jake to your home will hurt him like hell. And that’s what you did to him before. You kept on forcing him into this when you knew it was a low case already. You kept rubbing salt to the open wounds your parents had created to him.

“Honey, you all right?” your Mom took notice of your silence. The two guys looked at your way with concerns in their eyes.

You quickly pulled a small smile for them.

“I just don’t feel so well today, Mom.” she coos and cupped your face.

“Oh my cupcake. Let’s go eat already, I’m sure it will be gone once you have your favorite soup.” and she even gave you a hug.

Your Dad caress your arms and asked you two to follow them so you can start eating dinner already. Jake’s hands settles on the small of your back, eyes looking at you with so much concern.

“You okay, baby?”

You nodded with a small smile before he guided you towards the dining area. The dinner started and the three of them were the ones talking most of the time. You tries to join and forcedly laugh from time to time while eating so little. Just to avoid suspicion from them.

“I’m really glad you found Jake, y/n! He’s such a great match for you. Unlike that boy...” the scowl on his face appears for the first time tonight.

Your smile falters and you quickly fell on a foul mood. Your father always hated him. He never saw his efforts.

You lowered your head, doesn’t really want to hear more about it.

“He has a thick face for showing up here in our home multiple times months ago to look for y/n!” he added, sounding so upset about it.

Your hand halted from playing with your food after his words slowly sink into your system. You lift your head and stared at your Dad with furrowed brows.

“Sunghoon went here? When?” you asked in a speed of light. Doesn’t want them to bury this topic.

Your Mom and Jake was surprised to how you reacted.

“A week after you left his sorry ass. You know I was so pissed at him for coming back over and over again even after I told him you don’t want him anymore and that he should just leave you alone. You are better off without him. Maybe he is really just that stupid—”

“Why didn’t you told me this before?” your tone sounded so accusing. The look of betrayal on your eyes burns towards your Father.

“I don’t see the need of mentioning that to you. He’s already out of the picture. I really hate that boy. He’s bad for you. I never understand why you loved someone like him?”

“You never really tried to get to know him so how would you understand?”

“Pardon?” your Father’s expression looked offended by how you said the last sentence.

You stood up abruptly, making a dragging sound from your chair. They all looked at you with confusion on their faces.

“I should’ve known you can do something like that, Dad. I should’ve known Sunghoon will come here to look for me despite knowing that he will get nothing but mistreatment. I should’ve known.” you started marching out from the room and you can hear Jake calling out for you, but you couldn’t care more.

All you can think of was how hard must it been for Sunghoon. Now all his words from a while ago hits you differently. The way his eyes flashes sadness and how he looked so broken just made your heart crack into a million pieces.

He maybe a mess, but he is your mess. He is your person, your other half.

“Y/n hold on,” your steps halted right when you are at the front porch of your house.

Jake went after you and when you saw how scared his eyes and how he looked so broken, it hurts you. But you knew it will just break him more if you continue being with him when your heart clearly belongs to someone else.

“Where are you going?” he asks, even if he knew the answer already.

“I’m really sorry Jake. I love you, really.” you licked your lips and tears pooled the corner of your eyes.

“But I still love him. It’s still him.”

You’ve never seen Jake like this before. You are so used at seeing him smile that seeing him this broken, hurts you so much.

“Are you serious? No...” he chuckles with no humor, blinking rapidly to push those tears back inside his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jake. You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart and that person is not me.” and you removed his hand from your arm.

A tear left his eyes, but you turned away. You are being selfish again and choosing what will make you truly happy.

After calling a cab, you told the driver the address of your old apartment you shared with Sunghoon. Hoping that he’s still staying in that place, otherwise you will have to go ask his friends.

On the way to him, you realized a lot of things. You realized his little efforts that kept you going through the relationship. You started seeing how he’s imperfectly perfect for you. That despite his flaws, he’s always been the only one who loves you genuinely. The person who will love you even if you fail. The person who you can show your vulnerable side and still think you’re the most wonderful person.

You went out of the cab and just right in time, the rain poured. It reminded you that same night where you ended things with Sunghoon. Starting to get drenched, you walked towards the apartment building that you used to stay in with him. The same apartment that holds so much memories.

On the other hand, inside the apartment, Sunghoon’s brows were hardly furrowed while he head over his door after hearing a doorbell. He's a little confuse as he expects nobody for tonight.

He opens it and quickly, the annoyed expression over his face was replaced with a surprised one.

“Y/n?” he uttered seeing you standing in front of his unit, all drenched.

Your eyes softens at the sight of him. Seeing him in his white plain shirt and black shorts that he always use to wear whenever you two stays inside. You felt so happy seeing him. Your mouth opens to say something but eyes shifted at the back of him.

The relief you felt washes away at the sight of a girl coming out from the comfort room.

“Who is it, oppa?” she asked and you felt so dumb.

You are stoned at your position for a while before starting to step away. You probably looked like a freaking loser being all drenched and crashing to his apartment. Your heart broke again if its possible as it was already broken, then you cleared your throat. Tears streaming nonstop.

“I-I’m sorry. I should’ve not come here...” and you stormed off.

You heard him calling out for you, but you didn’t stop. Trying to save some dignity left in you. The rain is still pouring hard when you arrived outside but you didn’t care. You walked like a lifeless being with no direction to go to. People stared, but you just ignored them. You are hurting so bad and you wished that the rain will wash it away.

“Y/n!” a scream halt your step.

His familiar voice echoes inside your mind and you heard rummaging steps approaching you. You wanted to run and save a face, but you didn’t. Your heart felt so heavy.

Two shoes came into your view and slowly you lift your head up. Sunghoon’s starting to get drenched by the rain too, but like you he seems to not care. His chest rises up and down, trying to catch his breath after running after you. He’s wearing a jacket now on top of his white t-shirt which is useless as its slowly getting wet as well.

You looked at him with broken stares.

“Why are you here?” he asks, hoping that you came here to tell him that you want him back. That you want him as much as he wants you.

Your lips tremble and hot tears brimmed your eyes. It made it a little harder to see his face clearly because of the rain, but you tried hard. Sunghoon notices and stepped closer, head slightly covering your face from the pouring rain as he stares down on you.

“I c-came to tell you that a lot of things already changed,” you started and tried to push away your pride. This time, you wanted to do it right.

“but my feelings for you remained the same. I love you, Sunghoon. I love you so much that my heart felt like it stopped beating when I left you. I love you so much that I knew I will never be the same again after we broke up. I love you so much that I ended things with Jake just so I can be happy again. It’s making me lose my mind, making me act insane. And that’s the way I love you.”

Sunghoon licked his lower lip and the rain was cold, but his heart was warm. God, how he missed feeling this way.

“And I know I hurt you before. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for leaving that night and for thinking you didn’t try to fix it. I’m really sorry—” your words were cut off when he smashed his lips on yous.

Your hand reached over his clothes, holding it tightly for support system. His kisses started aggressive, like he wanted to do that for so long. Like he’s been deprived of it. The kiss lasted for a while until he leans away to catch his breath, you followed his lips for a few more pecks then his forehead rests on yours.

He cupped your face, warming it using his warm hands. While staring at his eyes, your loving gaze suddenly changed with a glaring eyes.

“What?”

“Who’s that girl at your apartment?” your question are like an interogation.

He smirks and chuckles. He even tries to kiss you, but you leaned away making him whine a little.

“She’s my cousin. She stayed overnight at our apartment after going out with her friends. She’s about to leave now.” you quickly melt when he addressed the apartment as yours and his.

You pout and calmed down. He chuckles and made your noses touch, staring at your eyes loving.

“I love you.” he says, placing another hot kiss on your lips. Your heart aches, but this time in a good way. You felt like you are finally where you should be. Inside his arms.

main master-list

ts master-list

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @ayayiiie @aeyeree @heeseung-min @in-somnias-world @psh-pjh @hongshuaknow

[livsbrutalitys-blog]

Unfinished business

Pt. 1

summary: you and Rhea have known each other since you were teenagers training at the same wrestling school except only one of you made it to the big screen but now it was time for you both to share that same fate.

pt.2|

trope: enemies to lovers

warning(s): SMUT (eventually), ANGST, swearing, yelling, DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA (lmk if i missed any)

pairing(s): rhea x f!reader, judgment day x reader (not romantic), and more but there’s to many :)

a/n: this is going to be a series, i’m not sure how many parts but this is my first time writing a series or anything like this so please be kind and if you have any helpful advice or tips lmk <3

Backstory

You had moved to Adelaide at the age of 16 to train at this very wrestling school. Luckily you had family that lived in Austrailia and your parents always let you follow your dreams and be your own person. Your first day at the school you had been so nervous slightly second guessing your re-location. Your nerves were suddenly calmed by a hand on your arm. Your head whipped around to see who was behind you.

"Hey my name is Demi, this your first day?" She said with a welcoming smile and her accent thick, it took you a moment to gather your thoughts because the girl that you had just met just so happened to also be the most beautiful girl you've ever met.

"uh-yeah, it's nice to meet you my name is y/n" you said sitting your bag down on the floor against the wall. You stood back up and started putting your hair up in a ponytail to keep it out of your face.

She stared at you like you hung the stares and the moon. You noticed her out of the corner of your eye, not thinking much of it at the time but you took note and stored this moment in the back of your brain.

" good to meet you y/n, can't wait to kick your ass out there" she said smirking at you waiting for what you were going to say. " Your on but be prepared to have your day ruined cause you have no idea what I'm capable of" you said walking close to her, tilting your head up slightly to meet her gaze.

She enjoyed the playful banter, she chuckled walking past you to go meet the trainer. You followed behind her just a few moments later after putting the rest of your things in your bag.

Once you made your way to the group that was training with you the trainer started to speak "Alright ladies and gentleman welcome back to another wonderful day of wrestling, How is everyone feeling today?". The group collectively said 'good', "Great now we are gonna start a little different today since you may have noticed with have a new student joining us today" He said pointing at you quickly, you did a small wave to everyone.

"Okay y/n we are gonna go over some of our basic rules real quick" you nodded waiting for him to speak again. "Rule one, when you are in the training area everyone goes by their ring name so if you have chosen yours, great, if not then get to choosing kid you have a free pass tonight but next session I wanna hear you using your ring name" he said waiting for you to nod or something so he could continue. But, you already had one picked out so you spoke up, "I actually already have one, it's the one I've been using since I was at my last wrestling school" you said in an up-beat tone. "Ok, well, let's hear it" he said impressed that you had already had one and felt confident using it at another facility. "It's y/r/n" you said with confidence, "Alright, sounds good, I like it, it's very original, good job kid" he said with a nod of approval.

"Alright and rule number two, do not and I mean absolutely do not bring your personal life into your wrestling life. You wanna date someone in this group, I'm not one to stand in the way of love but that love needs to say at the door." You nodded agreeing, you never planned to combine the two but it was a great rule to have.

"So, now that all of that is out of the way let's get to kicking some ass!" he said in a more energetic tone. "Y/r/n I want you to start us out, wanna see what you can do and what we need to work on, Rhea I want you in there with her" he said motioning towards the ring and moving out of the way to allow you two to slide in the ring and your now standing just a few inches apart.

You start feeling those familiar nerves build up in your gut. You let out a deep breath shoving those feelings down because it's not like you can walk out of the ring and fly back home now. Rhea noticed the anxious look on your face she mouthed to you as to not draw attention to you "You got this". That's all it took for a strong wave of confidence to wash over you.

"Okay, ladies we are gonna start with some basics" he said instructing you with a strong accent. "Let's go ahead and do some grappling" you waited for his cue to move towards the buff girl ahead of you. You lock up, her hands on your shoulders and yours on her shoulders shoving each other back and forth. Suddenly you dropped to the ground and perfectly executing an arm drag with her landing on her back.

She stood up but for that she smacked the mat in frustration. She was not messing around now, she was in full Rhea mode. You grabbed her arm and swung under it as you twisted her muscular limb. Once you fully up again she turned towards you with a look of discomfort on her face from her arm being twisted in an unnatural direction. In a split second her fist was connecting with your cheek, sending you down to the mat in pain. She wasted no time pouncing on you, grabbing a fist full of your hair in her hands, dragging you back up to your feet. Once you were back up you couldn't think of anything else so you just bitch slapped her. She let go of your hair to put a hand on her face and then glaring back at you. You were totally fucked.

"Alright, alright guys that was good and y/r/n I'm impressed to fair I didn't see a lot but you held your own and that's what I'm looking for" you smiled to yourself not wanting to seem conceited in anyway. Rhea stood behind you leaning in to whisper. "That was good and might I say you have one hell of a slap" she said pulling back with a chuckle. "How about this, you two are gonna have a match right here right now" you looked at Rhea to try and read her to see if she was up to it. "I'm down if you are y/r/n?" she said looking at you waiting for your response. "Of course, how could I pass up kicking your ass. Ripley" you said with a mischievous look on your face and saying the last part with a hint of aggression.

The bell rang and you two were sizing each other up. You made the first move, running to her and kneeing her in the stomach. She stumbled back to collect herself but you didn't let up throwing uncoordinated punches and slaps at her back while she was hunched over. She finally caught one of your hits and you realized you did not think this through. She pulled your arm and slung you into the corner, once you hit the turnbuckle you looked up and she was hurdling towards you and she jumped up and dropped kicked you right in the chest. That blow sent you crumbling to the mat laying there clutching your chest and coughing. She pulled you up and threw your limp body over her broad shoulders carrying back to the same turnbuckle and sitting you on the very top. A surge of adrenaline rushed through you as you slowly sat back up as she was climbing to meet you at the top of the ropes. You used all you strength to push her off. She stumbled back in shock as to how you mustered up the strength to fight back. You waited till she was fully alert again and stood up tall on the top rope you jumped putting all your faith in your aim and in Rhea's ability to catch you. You landed on her shoulders and then slung your body down to send her flying, her doing a messy front flip from all the momentum traveling through her body.

The match went on for about another five minutes and you guys were laid out on the mat. You decided to take advantage of getting up before her. You decided to submit her because all of your pin attempts have failed miserably. You locked in a prism lock, she was writhing below you and you were using all your strength to hold her up eventually you couldn't anymore so you placed a knee on her upper back and twisted her like a pretzel. She finally smacked the mat, giving into your torture.

You dropped her body to the mat and looked down at her. You squatted down to her and leaned your head in to whisper "What was all that talk about you kicking my ass huh?" She groaned and glared up at you. "I'll get you next time" and she wasn't kidding, after that day you guess had a heated rivalry going.

Even though you guys had a serious rivalry going you never hated her and you two knew that the tension and fighting was only improving both of your wrestling abilities.

One day a couple years later you were 21 and Rhea had just turned 22. You two were still training at the same school but now you were training the younger students while also competing in the indie circuit. You had become the the IWJP champion in your time in Japan, and now making your way inside the facility to do some training and teaching later that day. You sat your things down and you were tying your hair up, once it was up you stood up from your crouched position and turned around unexpectedly she was also here. You didn't think she would be here since she had been in the U.S trying out for WWE NXT, you had felt a lot of jealousy towards her for that, it had always been your dream to make it to WWE but she managed to do it before you.

You walked past her with no intention on speaking to her since you knew how you felt and she did to. She saw you walk past and felt a little hurt you didn't at least wave or say a quick greeting. She hopped of the ring apron and made her way over to you. " Aw is someone still mad that I managed to get a try out and they wouldn't even think to reach out to you" she said with a mocking tone, now was not the time for her to be messing with you. Your head slowly turned towards her "You know what Rhea soon the WWE is gonna realize who really belongs there and it's not you. In the meantime I'll be in Japan as a matter of fact across the world gaining more titles while your still just training to hopefully even make it on TV. So, you have fun in states just hoping you make at least one TV appearance I'll be here putting in work and carrying a new title every time you come back" you said glaring up at her and speaking with an aggressive tone. She chuckled at what you said but you both knew she was gonna make it and you were just upset she wasn't gonna be here for much longer. It was true you were gonna miss her even when she destroyed you in the ring.

"You know what y/r/n, your delusional, you'll never see the inside of a WWE ring unless it's from the stands and you paid to be there. I'll be on the big screen and you'll still be here training other people, not even trying to make any of your dreams come true" you were stunned at her sudden aggression but to be honest you were used to squabbles like this with Rhea. You nodded and walked away flipping her off as you were making your way over to the lifting area. She chuckled and went back into the ring she was training in.

Suddenly Rhea's phone rang and you heard it from where you were since the building wasn't that big. She walked over to her back that was on the stairs beside the ring. She quickly grabbed her phone and answered it. You only heard a few yes's and some ok's coming from her but you also saw the nodding of her head but what was most noticeable was the growing excitement on her face as her eyes lit up she said a quick "ok thank you so much, I'll be there in the afternoon tomorrow" her accent thicker than ever caused by the amount of excitement. She hung up and quickly gathered her things, she was quickly making her way out of the building but before that she went up to same trainer she had been working with since she was young girl. You couldn't hear what was said but you saw them share a quick hug and the look on his face was one of a proud father.

You hadn't seen or heard from her in months. You called and texted but to no avail. Where did she go? Is she ok? Can she just please respond to me?

You tried texting her again but gave up hope. You were sat on your couch in your small apartment, you decided to turn on the TV and watch WWE NXT UK. The show started and you weren't paying much attention as you had started scrolling on Instagram. That was until you heard something that caught your attention immediately. The ring announcer was saying her name, you almost thought you were hearing things that was until she appeared on your screen. She looked so different, her hair was short and a light shade of brow, her outfit was dark and edgy. Your mouth hung open as you saw her, you watched the match in shock and a little bit of anger. It was nearing the end and Rhea was going for her finisher, little did you know she took some inspiration from you and locked in your signature prism lock. This bitch really stole my move, you thought. After she won and held her first title a fire was lit inside you and you worked harder than ever to catch her and prove that you deserve to be there too.

Present day

You had been apart of a new wrestling promotion in the US called AEW. It was WWE's biggest rivalry, you were so close but after a few years of working your way up to the top you were finally happy. You were sat on the plane checking your email while waiting to land in the next city, that's when you saw an email that stuck out. It was from your agent, the agent you were kind of forced to get since you were one of if not the biggest female wrestler in the world right now, you held so many titles across the world but mostly in Japan and AEW. You opened the email and it read:

Good morning y/n I hope this finds you well. I have just received a call from WWE management and they really want to talk to you about signing with them. I know how we have talked about making it to the big time and now it's here. The decision is all yours, please call me once you land and we can talk more.

Your hand covered your face in disbelief. Your friends noticed and they nudged you snapping you out of your thoughts. "Hey you ok?" Your close friend Ruby said. "Yeah, I just got an email from my agent s'all " you said glancing at her then back down to your email. "Oh, really, what'd it say?" she said inquisitively "Uh, nothing everything's good, I'm just dramatic" you tried to distract her from earlier by being sarcastic. You felt bad that you couldn't tell her but if you were gonna make the move it had to be done in secret to really keep it a surprise.

You got off the plane and immediately called your agent. You spoke with her for a few minutes and luckily you there wasn't a show tonight because now you were jumping in your rental car and drove for about 2 hours to a city close by to meet with WWE management. You haven't decided if you were gonna leave AEW yet but you wanted to hear what they had to offer. You made it to the arena WWE was performing in that night and went in the back to avoid being spotted by fans or talent.

"Hi, y/n it's great to finally meet you" Stephanie said sticking her hand out for a handshake. "It's great to meet you too, Stephanie, I'm excited to hear what you guys are planning" you shook her hand firmly. You walked behind the powerful woman. You finally made it to her office for the night, "please have a seat, make yourself comfortable, who knows maybe this'll become your new home" she said motioning to the couch as she sat across from you in a comfortable looking arm chair. You chuckled at the last part of what she said, "ok y/n we have a few idea's" she said making her self comfortable and crossing her legs making eye contact with you.

"Alright let's hear 'em" you said looking at her. "So as you might know we have Wrestlemania coming up in a month and I'd love for you to be apart of it. We already have a match going on for the Women's World Title" you nodded and she continued "We want you to start your WWE journey by interfering in the finish of the match. Our title holder is Rhea Ripley." the name sent shivers down your spine. You didn't know she was the title holder since you had stopped watching WWE when you joined the rival company. It had been years since you saw her or heard anything more than a brief mention of her reign of dominance on the women's division.

"I understand you two have a long history" you nodded hiding the look of nervousness on your face. She continued to explain her plan and you liked it a lot. The feelings you had for Rhea had reappeared as she continued to talk. "You know what Stephanie" you pause briefly, "I'm in, let's do this" you said with a wave of confidence washing over you. She looked at you with pure excitement in her eyes. "Alright well I'm glad to hear that, I'm even more excited to have you joining our family your gonna fit in just perfect here" she said as she initiated a quick hug. You hugged her back, you were walking out of the arena and back to your car as you saw something. It was quick but it caught all your attention, you saw a broad figure, backside facing you. She was walking in, she didn't see you thank god. But you surely saw her. She was more muscular than you remember, her hair was black like a raven and her skin was covered in beautiful works of art. The tattoo's she had always talked about wanting to get.

You made the journey back to your designated city for the night and you laid in your bed. You emailed your agent and let her know what happened with Stephanie. Your agent called you and then discussed the next steps. She contacted AEW management and set up a meeting with them. The meeting was happening the next night before the show.

You did your nightly routine and climbed into bed. Your thoughts were all over the place but finally you drifted off to sleep. Once you woke up you hopped in the shower. You got out and got dressed and ready to head to the arena. On your way there you were nervous to tell your management about your decision to leave. You made it to the arena and walked inside, waving at the fans that were camped out at the fence and walked up to few kids that wanted pictures. You always loved talking to the fans because you were human too. You got to the locker room and put your stuff up. You found your agent waiting outside and you two walked to Tony's office and knocked on the door, he answered "come on in" he said moving to the side as he held the door open for you and your agent. After about an hour of discussion, you and the team had devised a plan for your last night. You were gonna drop your title, the AEW TBS Championship, to your long time friend, Julia Hart. You had no problem doing this since you viewed her as a little sister, she deserved the title and you were over the moon that you'd be able to give it to her.

You asked if you could be the one to tell her since you also had to tell her that you would be leaving. You waited for her to get to the arena, "Hi gorgeous" she said in a giddy tone as she hugged you. "Oh, hi, how was your drive" you said happily returning her embrace. "Ugh, I hate being stuck in the car with those guys, y'know, it's like a testosterone overload 24/7" you laughed at her "I'm sorry you had to be stuck in there, buuuuuutttt I have some good and bad news for you" you said to her as she finished putting her things up. She gasped "Someone finally told MJF to shut the hell up!!" you laughed once more as did she "no, no, no, but someone should really do that" you said with a brief pause. "you, my friend" you said pointing at her and taking a step forward "you are going over tonight" you said waiting for her to say something. "OH MY GOD WHAT!" she said jumping up and down with excitement and jumping into your arms. "wait" she letting go of you, "who's putting over" she said confused and you pointed to your self. "WHAT! oh my god, we get to finally have a match together!" she said with more excitement.

You guys had been clamoring for a match together but it always got shut down. Tears threatened to spill as you saw how excited she was. "I can't wait for them to announce you as champion tonight Jules" you said going for another hug. "What? Your dropping your title? To me? NO! You are the greatest champion this promotion has ever seen you cant just drop it to me!" she said with a little anger and a hint of sadness as she got a feeling of what the bad news might be. "Julia you deserve it, you've worked your ass of to get here and it's time for the world to show you some respect" you said convincingly, she nodded as you continued. "Ok now the bad news" you paused glancing to her, "Tonight is my last match" you both became teary eyed, she knew that was coming as soon as you said she was gonna be champion.

"I-i-i can't believe it. Your really leaving?" She questioned you hoping that she heard you wrong. "Yes, and I'm leaving knowing that my best friend is gonna be champion and is gonna continue kicking ass" you said trying to cheer her up. It was part of the business, friends leave and move on to other things, you both knew this very well and understood. "Thank you y/n, Thank you for trusting me enough for you to drop your title to me" she said. You nodded not being able to speak since you were torn up about leaving her.

You made your final entrance with your title, putting on your mean face as you made your way down the ramp. Julia's music hit and she made her was down the ramp and to the ring. The match lasted for 10 minutes, that was 10 minutes of you trying to soak up every last bit of the crowds energy. She finally got the 3 count and rose up off the mat, grabbing the title and holding it high. The show went to a commercial break as the lights dimmed slightly you two embraced each other tightly, not knowing when you'll see each other again. The crowd noticed at the last second and let out a simultaneous "Awe" you held her and pulled away and grabbed her face and whispered to her. "I believe in you, you can do this, keep being you, do what you do best a whoop ass, ok?" you said to her as she nodded soaking up your words of encouragement. "I love you, Jules, if you ever need me, you know where to reach me" you said "Ok, I will and if you need me just call me, good luck, I love you y/n" you kissed the top of her head and pulled away and walked away, out of the ring, leaving her in there alone with her music playing loudly as she held up her title with confidence. She glanced at you making your way back stage, you felt her glance and turned around and waved her goodbye and blew her kiss with a smile at your face feeling proud of her.

You got to your locker room and got ready to leave. You said goodbye to all your friends and acquaintances, you walked out teary eyed. You got back to your hotel and laid on the bed lost in your thoughts as your phone started going off. You grabbed it and unlocked it, your comment section was going crazy with a mix of the fans emotions some sad, some happy, some started speculating what might be going on. None of them guess right though. You plugged your phone up for the night and drifted of to sleep.

You woke up to Stephanie calling you and asking you to meet her in Florida at the PC. You jumped on the first flight out and while you were on your flight you scrolled through Instagram. Swiping through stories and the biggest news on your feed was you and Julia's match last night. You went to her account and saw she posted a heart-felt message that made you tear up a bit. The message ended the way you thought it would, at the bottom it read:

"...But in the end, The house always wins."

[tropes-and-tales]

For the inexperienced smut thing, can I request "“(If you like it), we can go all night.”" with our favorite guy, Bob Floyd?

AN: 18+ only for talk of sex (though nothing too explicit)

It’s not that Bob Floyd is a virgin, technically.  

Technically, the issue of his virginity was settled when he was nineteen.  For a paltry handful of minutes, he and his girlfriend fumbled their way through their respective first times.  Bob thought with that awkward first time out of the way, he and his girlfriend could practice, get better…but she dumped him the next morning.  Later on, Bob found out that she had been planning on breaking up anyway but had wanted to shed her pesky virginity before she did.

Bob, though?  Bob was heartbroken.  He spent his college years, his basic training celibate.  Why risk his heart again?

It was the right decision at the time.  Bob has never been a player.  He’s always craved what his parents have:  a stable, loving relationship.  Steady.  Full of love.  But even if it was the right decision, it puts him in a delicate situation now that he’s dating you.

Bob Floyd, dating the woman he is certain is his soulmate.  Bob Floyd who isn’t a virgin, technically, but who has so little experience he might as well be.

And you, who have no idea why, even months into dating, Bob refuses to do more than kiss you.

-----

It comes out because it must.  Bob knows he can’t fake his way into experience, and he knows he just has to come clean.  His stomach roils as he sits you down after dinner at his place, and you look at him warily.  When he reaches for your hand, you pull away, keep your hands folded in your lap.

“Just say it,” you tell him, and when he blurts out the truth, you laugh.

Then your hand flies to your mouth, clasps over your mouth.  “Oh!” you say, muffled.  “I’m sorry!  No, I’m not…shit, I’m not laughing at you—”

“No, it’s fine.”  He shakes his head, chuckles sadly.  “I should have more—”

“No, Bobby!”  You move your hand to his arm, grip him.  “God, I do this…this nervous laugh thing, and when you sat me down, you looked so serious.  I thought you wanted to break up—"

“Oh, no!  Not at all!”  He takes a deep breath, exhales slowly.  Steadies himself as if he were back-seating in a plane.  “I thought you might break up with me…”  He trails off, doesn’t finish the sentiment.  That he thought you’d dump him once he came clean about his pathetic lack of experience.

You shake your head.  “It’s not that big of a deal, you know.”

“It is.”  He doesn’t add that his angst around his lack of sexual prowess has only grown since he’s joined the Daggers—Rooster and Jake, Fanboy and Payback, Harvard and Yale…hell, even Nat joins in with the bawdy joking, the bragging about their past conquests and their posturing around future ones.  Then he met you, started dating you, and suddenly all he can think about is sex:  taking you to bed, giving you pleasure, finding pleasure with you.  

And once he starts to think about it, he starts to obsess about it…which is why months have passed with little more than a handful of spirited make-out sessions with you.

But he’s come clean now, and his face is flaming hot at the embarrassment of it, the shame of being his age and having a single encounter to his name…but you don’t seem mad or frustrated, and your bout of nervous laughter bleeds off some of the tension.  You sit beside him and gift him with a soft smile.

“It’s really not a big deal,” you repeat, and you reach out to take his hand finally.  You give him a reassuring squeeze.  “If you want to, we can take it however you want.  No pressure at all.  We can wait as long as you need.”

Bob is tired of waiting.  He’s tired of wanting you but being overruled by his anxious brain.  He’s tired of kissing you, of feeling your desire for more, of pushing down his own desire for more.  He’s tired of cold showers and confusing internet searches and worrying that he’s waited too long to tell you—

He leans forward and kisses you, breaks off his own busy thoughts by slotting his mouth over yours.  It’s an awkward angle at first, the two of you side by side on the couch, but you must feel the dam breaking in him because you twist towards him.  He reaches out a hand and lays it on your hip, and maybe he has little to no experience but it feels like second nature to guide you into his lap until you’re straddling him.

Perched above him, you cup his face between your hands, peer deep into his eyes like you’re trying to read his thoughts.  

“Is this okay, Bobby?” you whisper.  “I don’t want to push my luck, but I really, really, really want you.”

The weight of you in his lap, the swell of your breasts close to his face, the soft scent of your perfume…it’s better than okay.  It’s perfect.  He tells you so.

“I’m not gonna last, honey,” he adds in a whisper.  It’s his greatest fear—coming too soon, disappointing you—but he’s in too deep now.  There’s no turning back towards the shore.

“Hmmm.”  You dip your head and kiss him, and there’s so much promise in it.  You don’t rush it.  You let the moment stretch out, let the kiss linger.  You trace over his lower lip with the tip of your tongue, then nip at him lightly.  When he groans at the sensation, he feels the little huff of silent laughter—which he stops by sliding his tongue against yours, deepening the kiss.

You break away first, then lay a trail of soft kisses across his face and down the side of his neck.  You find the ticklish spot underneath his ear (you’d found it before and remembered where it was) and nip him there, making him squirm underneath you.  You must feel him—he’s already hard, has been perpetually hard since the first month of dating you.  You move in his lap, do a little swivel with your hips.  You grind against him, and it makes him squirm again.

“I’m not gonna…I won’t last,” he repeats, a little breathless, a little dizzy, and you hum again.  You reach up and cup his face again, and you peer into his eyes again with that same sincere expression as before.

“If you don’t last, we can go again.  Hell, Bobby…if you like it, we can go all night.  That’s the beautiful thing about sex.  You don’t last very long?  We wait and then go again.  Or I can show you other things we can do.”

He smooths his hands up your back, down your back, settles them on your waist.  You look so earnest, so eager.  He wonders if you love him.  Neither of you have said it yet, but Bob thinks perhaps you do.  

He knows he certainly loves you.  

“You sure?” he asks.  

“Of course!  It’s time spent together.”  Your earnest expression cedes to a sly smirk.  “You know, time spent together.  Naked.  In bed.  Sounds pretty good to me.”

He’s still anxious, but it’s less now.  It’s giving way to relief, to excitement.  The heavy stone of worry that had been sitting in his gut, in his chest seems to have been replaced by a sudden lightness.

Bob realizes that it’s hope.  This was the first real test of your relationship—him opening up about a painful part of who he is—and you both got through it.  

“Time together,” he murmurs in agreement.  He gets his hands under the heft of you, then stands up with you still in his lap.  You laugh, and you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he hoists you more securely.

“Let’s find a bed then,” he adds as he carries you towards his bedroom.  “And then we can see about the naked part.”

“I love a man with a plan,” you tease, and though you’ll share your first I love you’s in only a few short hours, this is what he will always count as the first time you say it to him.

[holdmytesseract]

Hello bestie!!

First of all congratulations for 2k!!🎊🎊❤ I absolutely loveee your idea of the campfire and I'm here for it 🙋🏻‍♀️

Character: Tom hiddleston

Song (505 by arctic monkeys) :

"But I crumble completely when you cry

It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye"

Maybe some angst with a happy end (?) Cant wait what you come up with!! Lots of love <3🤍🎀

Hard To Say Goodbye

Warnings: angst? fluff, dad!Tom!

Word Count: blurb

a/n: @muddyorbsblr helped me a bit along and inspired me, so this happened. I really hope you like it, friend! 💚

"You'll have to fly to Hawaii tomorrow?" You responded kinda shocked; trying your hardest to keep your focus on the road. From the other end of the line, you received a deep sigh. "Tomorrow, yes." You stopped at a red light and blew a raspberry into the heated air of the car.

"Evie isn't going to like this, babe... She really looks forward to spend the second week of the autumn holidays with us. Well, especially with you..."

Another deep, almost painful sigh escaped your husband's lips. "I know, darling, I know... It hurts me to the core, but I can't change it. I signed up to this. It's my obligation to be there. If I would've know that they wished to start shooting Skull Island in October, I would've planned things differently."

Hearing Tom's words caused you to feel bad as well. You didn't mean to blame him or wanted him to blame himself.

"Babe, please stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault. I'm just sad for our baby." "Me too, love..." Tom swallowed hard. "Did you pick her up already?" "No, I'm just on my way to your mom's." "Alright... I'll be home in about an hour as well. Then I'll talk to Evie, okay?" You nodded to yourself. "Alright. See you later. Love you, babe." "I love you, too."

After picking up your excited six-year-old and drove back home, Tom was already home as well. The light in the bathroom was switched on and the delicious smell of his aftershave, shower gel and cologne mingling in the air was proof enough. "Baby, I think daddy's home already from his gym session," you told Evie with a smile on your face as you helped her untie her shoelaces.

An excited gurgle left her lips. "I missed daddy so much!" You giggled; knowing very well that she did. Evie was a daddy's girl - from the very day of her birth. "I know, sweetie. I-" The sound of a door falling into it's hinges cut off your sentence.

Tom had left the bathroom.

Evie's eyes widened. She quickly and clumsily kicked off her shoes, "Daddy!" and stumbled to run around the corner. "Daddy!"

Tom had barely closed the door behind him, when he heard the sound of small feet against the wooden floor and his daughter's happy voice. A big smile stretched across the actor's face. He squatted down; still only in boxers, due to fact that he just took a shower and waited for Evie to run into his arms.

And she did.

"Daddyyyy!" The little girl with blond-brown locks squealed and threw herself in her father's arms. "Hey, sweetheart." Tom lifted her off the ground; hugging his daughter tightly and inhaling her scent. He had definitely missed her. "I missed you so much, peanut." Evie giggled and cuddled closer against Tom; wrapping her little legs around his bare waist. "I missed you, too."

Tom peppered her forehead and cheek with kisses, before he slowly let her stand on her own two feet again, but still squatted down to be on eye level with the child. "Did you have a great few days at granny's? Did you keep her on her t- Oh, hello, darling."

You had get rid of your shoes as well and decided to join the small family reunion - but now your body was struggling between suffering from an ovary explosion because of the cuteness Evie and Tom radiated together, or drooling all over your husband. Since he had to start training for his role as James Conrad in his upcoming movie 'Kong: Skull Island', he built up a lot of muscles - and now that he was almost naked, it really showed.

You swallowed; trying hard not to lose your shit in front of your daughter.

"Hey, babe."

Tom quickly picked up Evie again and walked over to you, in order to press a kiss on your lips. You threatened to burst.

"Daddy, can we go play? Nana got me a new doll for my tea parties!" Tom reluctantly broke the kiss and nodded at the girl on his arm. "Of course, peanut. You still have to tell me what you did together with granny. I just have to get dressed. Go already ahead, okay?" She nodded and happily jumped down the hallway towards her room.

In the meantime, you got your brain working properly again; remembering that you could have this handsome man all to yourself tonight.

You placed your palms on his muscular pecs. "You should really talk to her, babe..." Tom nodded sadly; arms enveloping your body. "I have to, I know." You cupped your husbands chiselled cheeks and kissed him lovingly. "I'll start dinner."

The rest of the evening was overshadowed by Tom having to leave for Hawaii tomorrow. Evie always hated it, when her father left the country to film, but in that very moment, it made her even sadder - and that didn't change no matter how much Tom tried to make it up to her.

And the next morning wasn't better...

Thick crocodile tears ran down Evie's face as she watched Tom packing his last few things. "Daddy don't go," she sobbed; clinging onto Tom's leg.

His heart broke all over again. He couldn't help himself but to lift her up in his arms again. She was getting pretty heavy now. After all, she wasn't a toddler anymore, but the Brit didn't care at all. She was his little girl and his fatherly instincts strong.

"I am so sorry, peanut. Daddy doesn't want to leave, but unfortunately he has to. It's his job, you know..." He pressed a kiss against her cheek and gently brushed her tears away with his thumb. "I promise you, that I'll call you every night for your bedtime story." Evie rubbed her red, teary eyes. "And before I go to school?" Tom nodded. "And before you go to school."

That reassured the girl at least a little bit.

Tags: @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @multifandom-worlds @jennyggggrrr @huntedmusicgardenn @hisredheadedgoddess28 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @loz-3 @javagirl328 @icytrickster17 @jaidenhawke @eleniblue @lou12346789 @lady-rose-moon @km-ffluv @herdetectivetheorist @lokiforever @crimson25 @brokenpoetliz @cakesandtom @vanilla-daydreaming @kimanne723 @glitchquake @lulubelle814 @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @buttercupcookies-blog @november-rayne @mandywholock1980 @lokidbadguy @smolvenger @vbecker10

[lodeddiperactivate]

I hate you more! Part 3

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!reader

Word count: 737

Warnings: angst

Summary: Reader sabotages Rodrick’s chances with Heather. A classic enemies to lovers!

Author's note: I'm trying to be more consistent in writing, and I'm trying to "plan out" the chapters more? As you may have noticed (or not), I have also updated my masterlist for better reading experience I guess haha I have also started to be more detailed as I can when posting fanfics including warnings and proper tagging lol I'm still new to all of this but yeah :) This chapter's a bit short but I just wanted to get this out so I can start "planning" the next few chapters? lol yeah

Tags: @tomhockstetter7-111 @vihtoriacorrea @sleepyb1txh

"How do you read this again?" You asked Rodrick while pointing at the word "Sweaty" that's spelled out on a dog bowl.

"Uhh duh, it's sweetie!" Rodrick said confidently.

This is the second day of your tutoring session with Rodrick, and a day before your big test. You had arrived at the Heffleys a bit early so you decided to hang out with Greg and Rowley in the living room when Greg told you about how Rodrick pronounces "Sweetie." You decided to put it to the test when Rodrick came in through the front doors, and you held up the dog bowl and asked him what it says.

You, Greg, and Rowley failed miserably at trying to hide your laughter. It was too much that even Rodrick got embarassed. What's worse is that he doesn't know why you guys were laughing. He taunted Greg, and you decided to step in.

"Alright, come on, Rodrick, time to study," as you pull him by the waistband on his shirt.

"Don't tell me what to do," Rodrick snapped at you as he eyed you pulling him by his shirt.

"Oh? I think in this case, I can," you snapped back at him.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, because if you don't," you paused for a while and smirked at him. "Oh Mrs. Heffleyyyy," you said in an almost sing-song voice.

"Fine fine, you're a snitch!" Rodrick sighed in defeat as he headed upstairs into his room.

"She's awesome!" Greg told Rowley but you didn't hear it because you were already walking up the stairs with Rodrick.

When you arrived at Rodrick's room, it was still as messy as the first time you had set foot in there.

"Geez, would it kill you to clean up in here?"

"Why clean my own room when my mom will do it for me when she gets tired of calling me out on not cleaning my room?" Rodrick said as if he had figured out all the answers to the world. You just rolled your eyes.

"Let's just get this over with."

"What's the rush?" He asked.

"None of your business," you replied. The truth is that you're planning to sneak out later because you heard that there was this party where college students go to at the far-end of town. You always thought that you were too mature for your age so you casually enjoy hanging out with older people. Truth is, you always thought people can see right through your "too cool to be here" attitude and you're worried that people would hate you for it. Maybe Rodrick was right when he said you were only pretending in order to fit in. Did he just figure out your whole double life, the one you tried oh so hard to hide?

The good news is that no one can really tell how old you were when at events like college parties, and you still have your own set of fake IDs from when you were dating your ex. Rodrick didn't ask anymore questions but you can tell that he was curious about it.

"Anyway, let me be frank, you suck at spelling and your grammar is shitty. If I am getting this $100 a week, you need to really mean it."

"Why should I? You're the one getting paid, and if I recall correctly, you lied to me!"

"About what?"

"About Heather!"

"Please, you never had a chance with her!"

Rodrick became silent. His expression pained. You apologized and decided to reach your hand out to him, with the intention of giving him a light tap on the shoulder, but he dismissed it.

"Yeah okay," Rodrick's voice was low and soft. "Whatever," he said after some pause.

He was sitting on the bed and you were facing him, books and notes sprawled out in front of you two. Recently, you've noticed that there's this gnawing feeling whenever you see this side of him, like you want to take care of him. Then again, there is that other side that makes you want to punch him in the face.

"Rodrick," you said softly.

"What?" You detected a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"What if I split the $100? You get $40, I get $60, as long as you take this seriously. And if you take this seriously, we can end today's session a bit early," that last one was for your own benefit.

"Deal."

DOAWK masterlist

[dreamlandcreations]

Turning point

vampire!Aleksander Morozova x Reader (A Discovery of Witches AU)

Summary: You are the brightest student he ever met and after he reveals his true nature he can't refuse your request to make you his to let you take part in the experiments for a cure...

Warnings: I have only seen a few episodes of DoW, mention of death, blood drinking, height difference, age difference, idk?, reader basically offering up to be a lab rat but not really, another idea for another series, soooo basically a teaser... and angst (how did this teasing almost fluffy idea get so f–cking angsty?!?!)

He didn't know what he was expecting from the handful of students he just revealed to the truth about the existence of his kind. It's not like he had much to lose, as Genya so politely put it. They were running out of time and despite David's undeniably genius approach and progress so far, it wasn't enough.

Aleksander was carefully inspecting the faces of the students. At first, most of them thought they were joking but after the realisation hit and they started to accept what he was saying, only a few of them were still afraid, but most of them turned into knowledge-seeking academics with hundreds of questions. By the end, everyone has been swept away into learning more about them. Everyone, except you.

That hint of amusement hadn't left your expression since he uttered the word vampire. It didn't take Aleksander long to realise that you already knew.

After living such a long life as he has, not much could surprise him anymore. So it always baffled him when you did just that, no matter how many times it happened before, with the first occasion being the moment you met. However, he was never as perplexed as of now, looking at you with countless questions of his own while he did his best to answer the other students.

With the session finally coming to an end, you approached him and started to speak for the first time today.

"You know you need more samples." It was not an observation but an offer, maybe even a request and your cool tone makes his control snap in a second.

"You knew." He practically growls the accusation and the sound sends a chill along your spine but a gasp later you continue to defy and taunt him, never one to back down.

"Yes?" The answer, with the mockingly raised eyebrow, sounds more like a question, a 'so what?' of sorts and it breaks down another wall in his carefully crafted walls.

Aleksander moves quicker than your eyes could process, standing an inch away from you, grabbing the back of your neck and forcing you to look up at him.

It's a warning but despite your racing heart, you are not afraid.

"What do you think you'll get by this?"

"Time."

He scoffs and lets you go, turning away, trying to collect his thoughts and control his emotions while his instincts are clawing at him to do what you asked. Time. One of the things he still can't get used to is how little you need words to make him understand your meaning, like there's already a bond between you that would enable you to read the other's thoughts.

Time. Time with your beloved books and with him. He remembers your first real conversation, right after you questioned everything and argued at every point during his first class that semester.

You stumbled into him in the library with an absurdly big pile of books and somehow that led to a conversation with a moment still engraved in his mind as he felt the same claws tempting him to make you his that were threatening to tear him apart now.

He asked if you planned to read all that today and after confirmation, he remarked that it would be a long night spent in the library and you should take some time to rest. To which you replied that life is too short and if you had your way you wouldn't waste time on sleep when there's so much to do and even more to learn. The irony of that is you spent all those hours talking to him instead and when he playfully apologized to rob you of your time that you meant to use more usefully, you answered without hesitation that you couldn't have found a better use for it.

The yearning you felt for each other was undeniable from that moment but he would never act on it. His reason always won, until now.

"We'll take samples now and after. You can't deny the value of a new subject like that."

Your clinical approach was driving him mad. Like you didn't listen to him explaining to the students mere minutes ago how many have failed to be turned lately.

"No!" He growled again, at the edge of losing all control.

At your annoyed wordless exclaim, he turned back. His anger gone, tears forming in his dark eyes as he pleads you silently to stop asking for this.

"I will not risk it." It... killing you.

The unsaid words making you sigh in defeat. Or so he thought.

"I'm dying anyway."

The painful truth of your fragile humanity never hurt him more and that makes his last reserve crumble as you ask again, this time clearly stating your wish.

"Turn me."

He is facing you again, reaching out to cradle your face in his palm while he deals with the pain this fight and the though of losing you caused him. You lean into his touch, closing your eyes as he rests his forehead against yours.

"You could turn out to be infected with blood rage too"

It's not an attempt to change your mind, merely making sure you know what you are facing.

"It could prove to be valuable either way." For a second your comment makes him angry again but this time you are the one to grab him before he could pull away to lecture you. "And you would be there to help me."

After calming down, you prepare for the change. Taking all the tests and samples takes almost an entire day and you are exhausted by the end of it but you refuse to let Aleksander stall even for a few hours of sleep.

Once you are done with everything he takes you to his home and you stand in his bedroom, nervous as hell, praying to whoever is listening to let this work.

When he approaches you finally kiss for the first time and it's more than you could ever imagine. It's impossibly hard to refuse to let passion overtake you but you somehow find the strength to pull away. He gently lay you down, pressing featherlight kisses to your neck until you feel his teeth graze the skin and order him sharply to "Wait!"

He pulls away so quickly like you burned him but you don't let him get too far.

"I know I said I want to help with the research for the cure but if this doesn't work if I don't make it..." He wants to cut that thought of but you don't let him.

"Please." He sees that you need to say this so he takes a deep breath and lets you continue. "If I die, I don't want to be cut open. You can take the same test and samples as we just did but I can't..."

He does cut you off this time, grabbing your chin almost hurtfully as his expression says it all. He would never do that to you.

In an instant, you are calm again and nod for him to continue.

Aleksander repeats his previous actions but this time halts on his own, kissing your cheek in reassurance and whispering a command, a plea in your ear that says 'Don't you dare to die!' before his fangs pierce your neck.

"Come back to me!"

[leechanpremacy]

Bandaids

Even bandaids are no good for heartaches.

pairings: nonidol!seungcheol x reader

tags: angst, unrequited love, mixed signals, cliffhanger

word count: 15k

notes: just wanted to write a cliffhanger angst 😮‍💨 i’ve been having so much in my plate that i couldn’t even write updates for my twt aus AGAIN 😓😓

You knew Seungcheol as a friend of a friend. Meeting in the porch during a small get-together party by a friend, he was drinking by himself there. You thought of going inside again, opening the door that soon creaked a sound causing the man to abruptly look at you.

Smiling rawly at him, quickly apologizing as you swing the door open, throwing yourself inside.

Then, every party you go, you see him. With long stealing glances and a few kind smiles, you came to familiarize yourself with the man.

You noticed he always wore polo shirts with tight jeans, a dangling silver necklace that complimented his silver watch. His hair that was always slicked back with a few strands covering his forehead. He wore the brightest smile, flashing his gums that triggered his dimples, sipping from his cup as he mingled with people. And as he laid his eyes on you again, both of you had a hard time looking away.

He was the first to approach you, telling you how he’s seen you in the past few weeks in a row. Somehow, both of you ended up being in the same table, sharing drinks and stories as the night passed by.

Its the seventh party tonight and you’ve opted on ditching your friend who was going. You’ve had enough of the alcohol intake and you could feel your social battery is drained.

Instead, you went outside for a walk. Wearing your soft oversized hoodie and a pair or sweats. As you settled down in a convenience store to eat dinner, you began to notice a familiar figure in your peripheral vision.

A familiar figure yet, in a change of setting, became so foreign. It was like seeing your favorite character in a movie in real-life.

The man who you’ve known in parties that always wore polo shirts and tight jeans with chain silver necklaces matching it with a silver watch, was wearing something similar to yours. A white shirt and grey sweats with his parted hair falling down on his eyes. Oh, and he was wearing glasses.

You noticed the beer on his side as he noticed your stare. He too, looked awfully surprised to see you somewhere new. Like the first time, he approached you first. Greeting you kindly, gradually turning the small interaction into big ones.

Days, weeks, months have passed since you two saw each other at the convenience store, you two came from acquaintances to friends. He was someone who you quickly got comfortable with, reason why you were teasing him being late.

“Traffic was that bad, okay?” He reasons out, resting his bag on the table before making his way to the counter. The two of you had something in common, both of you had the same course in the same year and although going to different universities, you didn’t mind sharing knowledges on the course.

The two of you agreed when planning out on a study, the who’s later to arrive will pay for the food. It was your idea, making you excited for those study sessions with Seungcheol. Mainly because you know you wouldn’t pay as you’d arrive early as possible.

Switching their notebooks, they begun to run through what was written and try to comprehend them for a mini quiz later. As you turn to the next page, you cut your fingers with the paper, wincing out the pain that immediately caught Seungcheol’s attention. “Here,” Reaching out a disinfectant and bandaid. Mumbling a thank you to him, “I usually get paper cuts on my fingers too.” He shares, trying to share the pain you have right now.

“I’m starting to think you purposely arrive late so you’d be the one paying our food.” You joked. You hear his familiar chuckles, and even without looking, you could see his dimples alongside his gums, “What I think is that you come here extra early so that you wouldn’t pay for our food,” Grinning at him, “You caught me!” Scrunching your nose at him, sharing giggles at the table.

“You’re going tonight?” He asks, “Yeah, Joshua’s been bugging me lately to come with him again.” The mention of Joshua made the man beside you chortle, “Well, you’ve been missing out on the fun for a while now,” He said in a low manner causing you to look at him,“Really? I’ve been really busy with University. Couldn’t find the time to have fun, unlike someone here.” Jokingly rolling your eyes at him as he eyes you amusingly.

“I wasn’t there to have fun though,” He mumbled. It wasn’t clearly for you to hear to why you didn’t asked him.

Everyone was having a good time playing cards, it was now your turn to pick and unfortunately, you picked the shot card. “I’ll drink it,” Seungcheol said, eyes looking at you. He probably noticed your worried eyes and tired posture. Not long after, he was beside you, clinging to your side as if you’ll wither away if he’s too far from you.

They were planning on letting you stay for the night but Seungcheol offered to take you home. Joshua was supposed to take you home, but the poor man was too drunk to even stand up from his seat. Due to his alcohol intake, he opted to book a taxi rather than to take the risk of driving in influence.

He was walking you to the door, all sobered up from the alcohol intake. Unlike you who walked with two left feet, probably wobbling around if he didn’t hold you by the arm.

“You can walk inside safely, right?” He asks in a slow voice. You just nodded in response. You could hear him sigh but you were too drunk to even care.

He opened the door for you and watched you walk inside. As soon as he sees you laying on the couch, he lets out a sigh of relief before closing your door, not forgetting to lock it.

A few days have passed and you’re still embarrassed to meet him. He’s been bugging you through texts, demanding you to meet him already. But you could swear to God every ounce of your dignity had been drained ever since Seungcheol insistently walked you home that night. You could remember how you almost scared the shit out of him as you told him you felt like puking during the car ride home.

And as much as you tried to avoid his texts and few calls, you know you couldn’t avoid him when he’s outside your block. You don’t even know how the hell did he even got inside the University, but what you know is you missed him.

Who’d knew in a short span of time, you’d grow attach to a man whom you only meet during weekends (which is not consistent) and at night parties that your friend drags you with consistently.

You knew, the grin he gave you was the end of it all. It dawned to you. Just a few days of not meeting him, you knew that those dimples and gummy smiles he wore was something you want to behold at every surprising events.

“Don’t be shy! It’s just me!” He exclaims, grinning at you. Before you get lost at his smiling face, you looked away from him, continued eating quietly.

You could see him pout at you before picking up his food and watched you eat.

He’s outside your block again, but instead of the smiling one you always see, he was glaring at you - well not you, but at the guy beside you. But when his eyes landed at you, the brows that were furrowed now relaxed and the subtle frown on the corner of his lips begun to rise. You now begin to wonder, was he jealous?

“Who was that?” He asks, grumpiness hiding within his teasing eyes and flashy grin. You could only shake your head and smile, “He’s Wonwoo, he was just asking some stuff since he skipped school the other day.” You noticed him nodding his head, the grin widening even more.

That’s more like it, the dimples and his cheeky grins.

But all things come to an end, a laughter rang inside the café. One that you could recognize anywhere. As soon as your eyes landed on him, you saw he was accompanied by someone. A pretty girl in a summer dress, hair flowing down as it swayed gracefully with the wind that the air conditioner was blowing.

“Are you and Seungcheol… Okay..?” Wonwoo cautiously asks. He too, noticed Seungcheol as he followed your searching gaze earlier.

Snapping your head to Wonwoo, “Huh? Why wouldn’t we?” Chuckling as you tried to hide the uneasiness you feel inside. You see him frown, looking straight into your eyes as if he was trying to read what was on your mind.

You looked away from him, giving attention the the pastry in front of you. “But aren’t you two… A thing..?” He to was questioning himself, staring down at you as he waited for your response. But it was hard to look at him in the eye. He can read you like a book, no doubt. And there is no way, you will ever tell a soul - moreover, to a guy you just met a few days ago - about your growing feelings towards Seungcheol.

Chuckling at him, “What? We are not a thing. Definitely not. Just, friends.” He can tone that you were upset. He definitely was piecing it together already. “You don’t have to hide it from me, let it out,” He was more softer compared earlier. Long gone was the intimidating look of his.

He was searching for your eyes, and when he caught it, “So, about the previous lectures, here are some of my notes—”

“Everybody knows about you two. You don’t have to lie, both of you just don’t want to admit anything.” You stopped from your tracks, both of us? Its funny, because as far as you know, its only you who obviously had caught feelings. Seeing how Seungcheol is with another girl today made you think that he just may treat his friends that way.

“There’s nothing to admit, Wonwoo. Really. We aren’t a thing. We aren’t dating nor together.” You were chuckling in between, but Wonwoo squinted his eyes on you before pursing his lips together as he lowered his gaze on your notes that he asked you.

“Hey,” A voice behind you called and just from his voice, you know its Seungcheol. You were done with packing your stuff when you turned to him, “Hey! Fancy seeing you here?” You tried to sound friendly, but it ended up sounding forced. You could swear to God you just heard Wonwoo scoffed at you. You wanted to kick the latter but with Seungcheol eyeing you amusingly, you found it hard to turn your back on him.

“Yeah, was on a blind fate a minute ago.” The way he sounded was too excited. You tried to match his energy, but you just felt drained trying. Wonwoo must’ve noticed the change in your demeanor so he took initiative for answering, “Nice. We just finished having a study session, right?” nudging your side, causing you to quickly smile and nod.

His eyes turned serious all of a sudden. Did having a new study buddy bothered him? Why?

True enough, it might’ve bothered him that you have a new study buddy to why every time you have something to talk about with Wonwoo, Seungcheol just finds out and piques your interests, totally forgetting about the things you were about to consult with Wonwoo - who was currently your partner on a paper.

“You’re going tonight, right?” You did promise Joshua and him that’ll you’ll go tonight, “No. I’m busy.” You wanted to tease him and you though it worked. The pout he wore soon turned into a frown, “You’re going with Wonwoo again, aren’t you?” Wyes throwing daggers as if you have just betrayed your own country.

“I was just joking!”

Alcohol then again filled your body. Everyone was getting loud, the games were in chaos. Everyone was laughing at the most ridiculous and smallest things. You don’t even know how it transcended from Hoshi’s whimsical dance showdown with Dino to a game of spin the bottle.

“Okay! Truth or dare!” Smirking, “Truth, of course.”Hisses from friends and boos were heard. You could only laugh at them while he looked at you in silent.

“Take the risk or lose the chance?” Joshua, who asked the question, earned a few punches and groans. The question wasn’t even that entertaining nor spicy, heck - it was even a basic question.

Your eyes wondered off to Seungcheol’s direction, you could see he was a bit surprised. Considering how his eyes widened a small fraction when he locked eyes with you. You don’t even know how you were looking at him, but he looked like he was expecting your answer.

But you didn’t answer. You looked away from him and smiled menacingly at everyone as you drank from the shot glass.

It was finally Seungcheol’s turn to spin the bottle, he looked confused at first to why everyone was laughing but soon understand why.

“Finally! Finally! Shut the fuck up! I’ll ask! I’ll Ask!”Dino enthusiastically yelled as he pointed to himself.

“Tell us the truth! Are you the twocof you dating?!”You gulped as eyes were on you and Seungcheol expectantly. His leaning arms behind you that had a small distance between your back and his arms were now rested on his lap.

“Doofus! Ask him first if it’s truth or dare!” Joshua claims, eyes looking at you with a bit of worry.

“Ah! Right. Sorry. Cheol, truth or dare?” Laughing nervously, he answered dare. Series of groans were heard from the circle but Dino was the only one laughing.

With a sly smile, “I dare you, to tell the truth.” With panic starting to fill his eyes, Seungcheol looked like he was about to raise hell, “No repeating of previous question!” Saved again by Joshua.

As Seungcheol breathe a sigh of relief, Dino didn’t even considered pausing from dropping the bomb, “Do you Cheol, consider her as more than just a friend?” Expecting eyes were on you and Seungcheol again, but one gaze pierced through your soul.

You laughed, trying to let out the uneasiness inside of you as you locked eyes with Seungcheol. “Best friends?” He said.

Disappointed sighs and groans were their reaction towards his answer, but his lingering gaze stayed on you yet you didn’t bat an eye on him again.

Even with alcohol, both of you still can’t seem to find the courage to take a risk. And they say, drunk people gets easily swayed huh?

—But even if I don’t take the risk, I already have my heart shattered. I want to choose losing the chance as I know— I know that it’d be regret that will be filling up my heart. But why is that, I can feel it shattering just by looking at the eyes of the man beside me. Full of longing and desire. Friends don’t look at each other like that, moreover, friends don’t make you feel like this; aching for more. Wanting to be more.

Even bandaids, are no good for heartaches.

[val-the-protoss-simp]

Part 1/3 the Tal'darim

Part 2/3 the Khalai <- you're here Part 3/3 the Nerazim

Part two of this ask, the Khalai

Erzadar. Formerly Erzolun (Because I have another Khalai OC named Talizun and I thought the names were way too similar) First concept was from 2022 (can be seen on the far bottom right of the art compilation) She was originally a tiny researcher from the Shelak tribe (??? I think??) Erza and her team of Khalai protoss were essentially Auir’s equivalent to Shakuras’s delegate team of Nerazim/terran diplomats/researchers/whatever.

She (and all the OCs from this story) were in kind of a limbo as they laid forgotten high on a metaphorical shelf of my mind, collecting dust, while I played with other OCs and stories. Until I was *this* video like half a year ago (no, it is not a Rickroll) and was like oh my god. oh. not to be a lesbian but oh my god. oh my fucking god Jesus Christ- we all know the meme.

Anyway, since then she became a tall, beefy adept.

She’s still mostly in development and therefore there’s not much to say about her. She’s a former zealot (became an adept during the events of LotV) With a friendly personality in a way only people in their early 20s have. She was assigned as a bodyguard/guide to the Dominion delegates Auir hosts and quickly becomes friends with most of them, namely Victor. And yes, I absolutely do plan to drag these two through months and years of delicious angst and yearning and denial and more angst before I allow them to become a thing. Their fault they’re my OCs.

Talizun is also a character who I’ve had for a looooooong time too (2018????? Before 2020) but I never really fleshed him out despite his key importance to the plot of Zhakul’s story. He didn’t even have a name until late 2021 ahaha oops. Most of his story was also conceived that year, meaning it’s pretty outdated and also prone to change in places, but I think it’s skeleton will remain.

Tali is a chill templar from a fringe Khalai colony so far away from the empire that it was entirely excluded from the great war that took place during the events of SC2. Him and many of his templar brethren were in stasis for centuries, only awakened AFTER the war was concluded, which is also the reason why he still bears his cords and is tethered to the Khala. (One of the big changes in this AU, aside from Shakuras not exploding and the Daelaam not being a thing anymore, is that the Khala prevails. This could be a separate yap session for later, I’m just making this clear now in case someone is confused over me mentioning it)

Anyway. He’s very chill and level-headed for a zealot, which actually came in handy because Zhakul needed to do some serious deconstructing of the bullshit Dal filled his head with and Tali was up for the job. The two end up bonding over a similar experience (being removed from protoss society for so long they feel like complete outsiders) become friends and eeeeeeeeeeventually form a Zhakul-centred polycule that also includes Jake and various other terrans and protoss.

Tali eventually gets himself killed in a border skirmish with the Tal’darim (originally it was Y’rash that yeeted him, now I’m not sure that’s canon anymore) he’s stuffed into the shell of a dragoon and does his best to continue with his life as well as he can, which is made much more complicated because he ends up having an oopsie baby (who we will also talk about later) and from then on struggles with the crushing feeling of knowing he can never be an adequate parent to them because his broken body must forever remain locked in a dragoon exoskeleton. 

The Talendir Orchard Head FamilyTM

The main characters in Project Sammuro. There’s very little to say about them for now because the story they were created for is at its infancy and therefore their characters are also very underdeveloped. They’re a down-to-earth family of protoss living in rural parts of Auir, growing and harvesting sammuro fruit for it’s rich blue dye, then distributing it across the Khalai empire as needed.

The story focuses on this entire process and also works as a lightbulb moment for Victor, who realises that the strongly capitalistic society of the Dominion is very very  flawed in comparison to the more traditional, socialistic economy the protoss have where culture, tradition and the well-being of it’s people are far more important to them than profit and power.

[k00ldino]

vector angst??

it’s more likely than you’d think

vector definitely wasn’t the same upon returning back to earth after being trapped on the moon (and mars later on). the whole ordeal left a bad taste in his mouth.

he plays it off, of course, but he often gets triggered by images and mentions of space, and even just seeing the moon in the sky is enough to bring back those awful memories. sometimes, he finds himself replaying his time spent there in his mind. the dread of not knowing if he’ll ever return, of not having any food or water. simply being up there alone was enough to make him panic. so isolated, with nobody around to hear his cries for help. was it days? weeks? all he knew was that it was MUCH too long.

for quite a while after his arrival home, he’d have nightmares, leaving him frequently waking up a sobbing mess. it got to a point where he was too scared to fall asleep at times, so he opted to keep himself awake for days at a time instead. he barely ate, barely slept. he was a shell of his former self, no longer even having the energy to pull off any evil schemes.

he rarely left his home out of fear of something like that happening again. every letter or text from a potential rival sent him into an anxious spiral. what if THEY trapped him in space as well? he so desperately wanted to keep doing what he loved, villainy being one of his special interests, but how could he continue after going through something so awful??

his father noticed, of course, and urged him to speak with a therapist, but what was he supposed to tell them?

“yeah, i got stuck in space because i kidnapped some guy’s daughters and it kinda messed me up.”

he refused, insisting that it was fine and that he’d be back to his old self in no time! he reassured his dad that everything would be alright, that he was just in a bit of a weird mood since coming back.

“it’s probably just something to do with the weird change in time zones. don’t worry about me!”

it’s not like he really had anybody else to check in on him. he had a handful of online friends, sure, but he kept them satisfied with simple messages on discord. a meme here, a reply there. nothing too extreme. he didn’t want anybody to worry about him. the number one supervillain in the world didn’t NEED support!

it took months of pestering from his dad to finally see a counselor, just to shut him up, who had even gone through the effort of searching for somebody who deals specifically with villains. how thoughtful!

he walked into his first session the next week, only to be greeted with “oh hey, i know you! you’re the guy that got stuck on the moon, right?” which caused him to INSTANTLY burst into tears.

once he’d calmed down, he recounted his experiences of how isolated and scared he felt. he was surprised to be shown compassion from somebody other than his own father. being able to vent all of his feelings to someone who was actually listening felt so gratifying for him, and it was even better that his therapist was able to offer him support and a solid recovery plan. he left feeling a million times better, going so far as to clean up his fortress and take care of himself for the first time in ages.

he started going to weekly sessions, and was slowly finally able to work himself up to going out and stargazing! it was such a big milestone moment for him. the next time he met with his therapist he gave them the biggest hug and thanked them profusely for helping him.

to this day, he still feels a hitch in his chest whenever he sees or hears anything about the moon or mars out of the blue, but he’s able to meet it with much less stress than before. he’s even gone back to carrying out his villainous duties!

[animeniacss]

Seoksoo - imperfect Part 1 - Chapter 18 - Can You Be Encouraging and Pushy at the Same Time?

Synopsis: Lee Seokmin likes a lot of things: karaoke, stuffed animals, his friends, his family (when they're not at each other's throats), and when things go according to plan. It's perfect that way. That is...until Joshua Hong, the Education Department TA, stumbles into his view one day and suddenly Seokmin has to start facing the fact that maybe not everything in life will be perfect...but with Joshua, that might just be ok.

Tags: College!AU, ActingMajor!Seokmin, Teacher!Joshua, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Side GyuCheol, Side JunHao, Side Verkwan, Other Idol appearances, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Domestic Violence (not between the main couple), Joshua is a dork 90% of the time, (More Tags will be Added as needed)

Length: approx. 4.5k words

Chapter 18 - Can You Be Encouraging and Pushy at the Same Time?

   December meant that the layers of clothing when leaving the house were more a requirement than a fashion choice, but Seokmin didn’t mind. Christmas was on the horizon, which meant the end of the fall semester. It also meant that two very important events were approaching: Study Week, and Joshua’s birthday. Seokmin had been preparing for both all month, studying with Joshua on weekends and birthday planning on weekdays. His birthday was nestled between Christmas and New Year’s, an easy time to forget with all of the holiday chaos. Seokmin wouldn’t let that happen. 

        Despite Seokmin’s initial concerns with tension amongst his friends regarding who he spends his time with, all of them seemed eager to send Seokmin off with Joshua for their study sessions. Too eager, almost. Mingyu assured it wasn’t because they didn’t want to study with him, but he had to say it more than once for Seokmin to consider it truthful.

Knocking on the door, a muffled ‘Come in!’ was heard on the other end. With a smile, he discarded his shoes in the front entrance, looking up to see Joshua exiting the kitchen. Glasses - that’s a new one - sat on the bridge of his nose until he pushed them up. Seokmin immediately felt overdressed, opting for a pair of jeans and white turtleneck while Joshua was wearing a heavy green cardigan with a plain white undershirt and a pair of sweatpants. He still looked very handsome, but Seokmin couldn’t help but wonder if Joshua was eyeing him up and down because he thought Seokmin looked ridiculous.

         Joshua only smiled. “Cute turtleneck.” Seokmin’s neck felt warm, but probably not because of the fabric wrapped around it. “I just made more coffee. Want some?”

         “Please.” Seokmin exhaled as he followed Joshua into the kitchen, watching as he poured another cup of coffee and passed it over. “Thank you.” A long sip later, and Seokmin’s body instantly felt much warmer, the coffee rushing through his veins. “Have you already started studying?”

         Joshua almost looked embarrassed as he took another sip of coffee. “A bit~.” He said sheepishly. Seokmin smiled. “I was just doing some research.” Joshua turned to his room. “Would it be okay if we studied in my room? I have a little set up…”

         Seokmin could feel his hands tighten on the mug when he said: “That’s fine.” And Joshua smiled. “Sorry we couldn’t use my apartment this time.”

         “No big deal.” He said, opening the door. Joshua’s room was simple, but lived in; a desk, a bed, a dresser, and an end table with a lamp. Seokmin’s eyes were immediately drawn to the shelves of trophies and photos. Most of them seemed to be from Joshua’s high school years, holding up awards, or his guitar, but he didn’t have enough context to understand the other people pictured in the photos with him. Just staring at them was enough to tell Seokmin how successful  and happy Joshua seemed his entire life. 

         “You’re so incredible.” Seokmin said. Joshua looked over at the shelves, a strained smile forming on his face.

         “Thank you. It was…definitely an experience. My parents have most of the photos of me from school all over their house, so I only have a handful.” He motioned to the second shelf. “These are my favorites, though. I made sure to take them when I moved.”

Seokmin realized how much Joshua looked exactly like his parents, a perfect combination of both of their best features. He was standing in a freshly pressed suit, parents both equally as elegant. Joshua said it was “one of his mother’s monthly dinner parties”. Others were more casual; like him and Jeonghan in their youth as they explored the Korean countryside, or another of Joshua and what looked to be a male friend – who Joshua commented was , ‘my buddy Johnny ‘- flashing peace signs in front of a big sign that read ‘Six Flags’, a frozen treat in their hands. The photo Joshua chose to pull from the shelf showed him in yet another suit, surrounded by other men in dashing attire. Seokmin immediately noticed the sparkling crown on Joshua’s head, and the gaudy sash across his chest. It looked as if he was almost mid-laugh when the photo was taken, Johnny and another male in a maroon tuxedo tugging at the sash and the crown as if they were trying to steal it. “This is my favorite picture. From my prom.”

         “Prom?”

         “It’s an American thing, I think.” Joshua’s smile was nostalgic. “Jeonghan said Korean schools do more senior trips or events.” When Joshua saw Seokmin try to read the words on the sash, he clarified it was Prom King. “It was really fun.” Seokmin saw the other’s eyes sparkle as he recalled the night. 

         “You were cute.”

         Immediately, he looked offended. “Were?” he gasped. Immediately, despite Seokmin letting out a laugh, he felt his heart rate pick up.

         “Not what I meant, not what I meant!” He immediately corrected, sending Joshua into a fit of laughter. Seokmin felt his cheeks heat up as he watched Joshua put the photos away. The walk down memory lane seemingly made Joshua feel refreshed as he set the frame back onto the shelf. He sat down in his desk chair, spinning to watch as Seokmin nestled himself on Joshua’s floor, back pressed up against the side of the bed, fishing for his laptop.

“How’s your monologue coming?” Joshua was already flipping open his textbook, not needing to look at the pages to find his next spot.

         “Fine.”

         “Can I hear some of it?” Seokmin’s hands froze on the keys. He had submitted his rough draft for the new monologue already, one he has yet to share with anyone other than his professor. When Seokmin hesitated in his reply, Joshua turned his head, his glasses shifting a bit on his nose. “No?”

         “…It’s a surprise.” Seokmin said. “I’m not done yet.” Joshua hummed. “I’m sorry.”

         “It’s okay. I’m excited to hear it.” Finally reaching the page in his book, the subject was dropped. Seokmin looked down at his draft, skimming the first few lines. 

         The duo fell into a comfortable silence, the sound of keys clacking or pages flipping enough to fill the air. At least, it was for a short while. Seokmin hadn’t realized it, but within minutes of the duo focusing on their studies, he had begun humming a song he was listening to earlier that day, one of his musical numbers. The humming helped him focus, fingers flying away at the monologue edits that had been sitting in his brain all morning, finally able to free themselves onto the paper.

         “What are you singing?” Joshua’s curious voice made Seokmin look up to see a beautiful smiling face.

         “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was.” 

         “It’s okay.” A pause, before Joshua got up from his desk and headed to Seokmin’s side, plopping down on the floor. He set his notebook in his lap, pencil twirling in his hand. He looked over at the flustered male beside him, smiling. “Is it from the musical?”

         Their shoulders brushed together and it felt like a bolt of lightning in his veins. “Yes.” Seokmin barely could squeak the word out, watching as Joshua simply returned to his studying with a content smile. Seokmin found himself distracted by Joshua all the time during their study sessions. Not because he was devilishly handsome and practically attached to him– which were both painfully fucking true – but because he was constantly worried, looking for signs of Joshua’s wellbeing. Were his eyes heavy? Was his body tense? Did he look tired? Seokmin couldn’t stop thinking that if he focused on his own work for a second too long, Joshua would be face first on the floor again. And this time, he would be to blame. 

         “Hm.” Joshua’s confused hum caught Seokmin’s attention, shaking him out of that pessimistic mindset. He leaned over, motioning to his study guide. “Does this sound okay?” The duo's shoulders once again touched as he skimmed the paragraph Joshua pointed too.

         “Yeah, it sounds great.” Joshua immediately broke out into a grin, nodding his head as he turned back to his essay. They had been studying together for a few hours without stopping; his observations showing Joshua hadn’t had anything to drink other than that first cup of coffee, nor had he eaten anything since Seokmin arrived. Words tangled in his throat for a few seconds before he swallowed them back down, leaving his mouth to open and close a few times. He was here to make sure Joshua studied a healthy amount, took care of himself, and didn’t overwork himself again. So, why was he so nervous about saying anything? Why did his mouth dry up when he went to speak? He didn’t want to look pushy, that’s why. Joshua took his studying seriously. 

         Jeonghan’s been on top of me since I got home. I hate being behind, it stresses me out more than the actual work.

         Seokmin didn’t want to be ‘on top’ of Joshua - at least not in this way. He didn’t want to bother him. He didn’t want to stress Joshua out, so how could he go about being encouraging? He found this thought plaguing him more than his actual exams.

         Maybe Joshua could read his mind, because he suddenly closed his notebook, setting it to the side and stretching. “I need some more coffee. Want some?” 

         “Are you taking a break?”

         “Yeah, for a few minutes.” He shifted in his seat. “So, you don’t scold me.”

         “I-I won’t scold you.” Seokmin watched Joshua get up, offering him a hand to his feet. “But you should drink some water.” 

         “Aaahh, there you go…scolding me.” Joshua teased, biting back a grin when he saw Seokmin’s cheeks turn red. He squeezed Seokmin’s hand. “Come on, let’s go in the kitchen. I think I have Kkokkal Chips in the pantry. Want some?” 

         “Uh sure.” Joshua’s hand released his, leaving Seokmin to trail behind with a slower pace. His eyes studied Joshua as he rummaged through the fridge for water, holding it up while making eye contact, as if needing to prove he was drinking it. Seokmin gave a small smile before Joshua’s attention was caught by the hiss of the coffee, steam and caffeine bubbling into the pot. 

Joshua’s soft and gentle expressions always left Seokmin feeling like he was floating. He was caring in ways Seokmin had never before experienced. And yet here he was, unable to tell Joshua that he needed to drink water without feeling bothersome. Guilt flooded him like the worst tidal wave, crashing into his chest and leaving him unable to breathe. Joshua rested against the counter, turning towards Seokmin and smiling.

“You coming over here?” he called. 

“Uh…I…” he motioned back into the room. “I need to grab something, I’ll be right there.” Joshua nodded as Seokmin slipped back into the bedroom. Curious eyes fell towards the notebooks resting against the side of the bed, he knelt down, picking up the education book ‘Academic Excellence in the Age of Technology’. Joshua had sticky notes all throughout the pages, color-coded to fit Joshua’s studying process. He thumbed through the pages. Maybe if he read a bit, he’d understand what made Joshua so hyperfocused, what drove him so fiercely. If he understood, maybe he could be of more help.

Seokmin read one paragraph and honestly, he comprehended as much of it as he would if it were written in English. The book closed with a thud, and Seokmin sighed, standing up to peek back into the kitchen. Joshua was still by the coffee pot, typing on his phone. 

         He always leaves us little encouraging notes when we’re working on something. 

        The proud voice of Choi San ricocheted through his ears, parting the sea of guilt still raging in Seokmins mind. In its place, an idea floated to the surface. Curious eyes turned towards the unoccupied desk, just as neat and organized as everything else in Joshua’s room. A perfect set up. With Joshua still distracted, Seokmin headed inside, reaching out to take a few of the Post It notes and a colorful pen from his desk. 

⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔(im)perfect🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌

         Joshua called him from the kitchen about five minutes later, just as Seokmin was making his way back out of the bedroom. The older held two mugs in his hands, smiling. “What were you doing?” he asked.

A shy blush crept onto his cheeks, eyes looking up at the ceiling. “Nothing.”

         Joshua cocked an eyebrow. “…Were you studying without me?” He passed over the warm cup. Seokmin allowed the heat to radiate onto his fingertips as he took a sip, a small ‘thanks’ coming from his lips.

         “Ahaha, you caught me!” Seokmin immediately forced a laugh, and it was clear. However, Joshua only nodded his head, taking a sip of his drink. “Sorry.”

         “Let’s go back inside.” Just as Joshua motioned to his bedroom, Seokmin’s heart rate spiked. He suddenly felt incredibly flustered. What would Joshua think when he cracked his textbook open once again? Seokmin already had an answer to the question in his mind. He’s going to think I’m such a loser. 

         “No!” Joshua almost jumped at the intense plea. “Let’s uhm.” Frantic eyes scanned his surroundings, falling on the balcony. “Let’s go on the balcony.”

         “Seokmin, it’s December. Like…late December.”

         “The coffee will keep us warm. Come on. Let’s get fresh air in our lungs.” Joshua seemed swayed by Seokmin’s eagerness, smiling as he grabbed his cardigan and motioned to the balcony door. The chilly night air hit Seokmin like a brick, but much like a child who refused a jacket before leaving the house, kept his regret to himself. Chilly breaths puffed out and evaporated. Hoping the heat would radiate to the rest of his body, another sip of coffee hit his throat.

         “What made you want to come outside in the middle of winter?” Joshua asked curiously. 

         Pure embarrassment and fear of my own actions. “…Fresh air.”

         Joshua chuckled, sipping his drink. “Aren’t you cold?”

         “Oh no. I’m okay.” Seokmin assured. He actually wasn’t; chilled to the bone within seconds. But the minute either of them stepped back inside they’d return to their studying, and that meant Joshua would see the most embarrassing thing Seokmin has ever done. A failure to flirt and a failure to encourage, Seokmin hoped he would simply freeze into a popsicle here and now.

         A warmth suddenly enveloped him, and when he looked over, Joshua had extended his arm around Seokmin, pulling him into the sanctuary of his green cardigan. “Oh.” Seokmin looked over, a playful little smile on the other’s lips.

         “Is that okay?”

         “Yeah…” Seokmin breathed out, his breath once again fluttering in the air, this time mixing with Joshua’s. He bit his lip, looking up to the stars as he took another sip of his coffee. It was already starting to chill due to the winter air. “Thank you.” 

         “Sure.” Joshua said. Silence for a few minutes, until Joshua finally spoke up again: “Thanks for studying with me these past few weeks.”

         “Hm? Don’t thank me. I needed to study too.”

         “Yeah, but still.” When a chill picked up, he nestled himself closer to Seokmin, who felt his heart begin to intensely drum in his chest. “It’s been a lot nicer having someone to study with like this. In person, at least. I don’t think I ever have.” 

         “Even with friends back home?” Joshua shook his head.

         “They didn’t really get it. My friend Johnny still calls me a nerd to this day about how hard I study.” Seokmin couldn’t help but smile. “Which is fine. I never really noticed until now, so I didn’t mind.” Silence as he took another sip of his drink. “But I’m glad to have you around. It makes it a bit more enjoyable.”

         Seokmin smiled behind his coffee cup. “I’m really not doing anything. If anything, I’m probably annoying about taking breaks.” Joshua shrugged.

      “No, no. Jeonghan’s annoying.” He paused, debating his next words. “But you’re much cuter, so I might just be letting you get away with more.”

         “Oh jeez.” Seokmin’s grin widened. “Enough.”

         “I’m serious. You think I’d go out on the balcony in the middle of the winter for Jeonghan?”

         “I don’t know.”

         “The answer is no.” Joshua assured. “Nor would I share my cardigan to stay warm.” Seokmin laughed. “Don’t tell him I said that, though.”

         “Hah. Okay.” When Seokmin finished off his coffee, the warmth in his belly didn’t subside. Maybe it was because he was bundled in as much of the cardigan as Joshua could stretch between them. He looked over, studying Joshua. “Did you figure out your plans for your birthday?”

         “Hm? Oh, not yet. I convinced my grandparents to go on vacation for the week after Christmas. They said they’ll bring me a souvenir. They’re going skiing, I think.”

         “Your grandparents?”

         “They’re very athletic.” Joshua smiled.

         “Well, I’m only asking because I wanted to celebrate with you.” Joshua smiled. “I thought it would be fun if everyone gets together when finals are over.”

         “That’d be nice.” He agreed.

         Seokmin smiled. “Do you like karaoke?” Joshua seemed to catch the eager smile on Seokmin’s face, only offering a shrug in reply. “I know a really nice karaoke place not too far from here. But I didn’t want to make plans for it, if it’s not your thing.”

         Joshua thought for a minute, lips pursed together in silence. Seokmin felt another chill and instinctively closed any leftover space between the both of them. “Does this mean I’ll get to hear you sing?”

         “You’ve already heard me sing.”

         Joshua rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, right. One time is going to satisfy me for the rest of my life.” Seokmin chuckled. “I’ll only agree if you promise to sing me something.”

         Seokmin’s cheeks turned red. “What would you want me to sing?”

         “Well.” He hummed. “You could channel your inner Marilyn Monroe and sing me ‘Happy Birthday’ like I’m President John F. Kennedy.” Seokmin blinked a few times, and Joshua immediately shook his head. “A reference I’ll have to show you. Noted.” He laughed. “Surprise me. Just surprise me.” 

         “Okay.” Seokmin said. Already, the cogs in his brain were beginning to turn, his mind shuffling through every song he’s ever performed in his life. “I can do that.”

         “Perfect.” He finally finished his own coffee. When he exhaled, Seokmin watched his breath merge with the cool air once again. “Want to head back inside?”

         Seokmin immediately remembered the Post It notes in the textbook, and his cheeks -already a bright cherry red from the cold – only amplified. “…Can we stay out here for another few minutes?” He asked softly. Joshua blinked. “It’s cold, but it’s kind of nice.”

         Joshua was silent for a minute, nodding his head. “Of course.” He said.

         So, they did. And after a few minutes, Seokmin didn’t feel cold anymore. His entire body felt warm, and when he felt Joshua’s hand squeeze him just a bit closer, he knew he’d brave the toughest snowstorm just to stay this way a little longer.

⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔(im)perfect🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌⚔🦌

         Seokmin took a very hot shower when he got home, hoping to melt off what felt like icicles clinging to his skin. When he finally thawed himself out and stepped into the living room, Hansol and Seungkwan were cuddled up on the couch. A movie was on the TV. Hansol’s eyes were glued to the screen, head tilted towards Seungkwan as he shared what Seokmin could only guess was trivia. Seungkwan nodded along, staring up at the other with hearts in his eyes as he listened.

         “Am I interrupting?” Seokmin asked from the bathroom door. Seungkwan looked up, a hint of pink in his cheeks.

         “No way.” He said. “We’re just watching….uh….” His cheeks amplified to a deep red as he pointed to the screen, the name of the movie lost on him. Hansol only smiled in amusement.

         “Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.” His reminder was gentle, and it made Seungkwan almost swoon.

         “That one.”

         “Want to join us?” Hansol offered.

         “Only if you promise not to kiss in front of me.” He teased.

         “No promises.” Seungkwan sang, kicking his legs against the couch a bit. Hansol chuckled behind his hand, the duo making room for Seokmin to plop down. He rested on the other side of the couch, the living room falling into silence as the movie continued. 

Seokmin realized he had left his phone on his end table about halfway into the movie, quickly excusing himself to retrieve it. He immediately saw Seungkwan cuddle up closer to Hansol, not seeming to mind the extra few minutes of alone time they got back.

         There were tons of messages – 10 in total – from Joshua. Oh no. His mind immediately began racing, leaning forward to open up the messages, wondering what on earth happened. The first one was a picture of a green sticky note in his book. Seokmin immediately felt his shoulders drop, a relieved sigh escaping his lips. Upon further examination of the photo, the words ‘EAT’ and ‘PLEASE’ were written in both Korean and English. Joshua had found a sticky note, and the realization made Seokmin embarrassed again. A photo followed of a bowl of popcorn and bottle of water.

         [Shua] (40m ago): I have popcorn and a water. I’ll eat it all!

         Another photo, this time of a pink sticky note that read ‘Take a break!’ followed by a photo of Jeonghan watching TV.

         [Shua] (20m ago): We’re watching some trot musical show.

         Seokmin smiled as he scrolled through the messages. This one showed a green sticky note with the words ‘Get some rest!’ written on it. A photo of Joshua sprawled out on Jeonghan’s lap followed, and Seokmin covered his mouth to muffle the giggle as he studied the dramatic sleeping expression Joshua had given the camera.

         [Shua] (16m ago): I’m sleeping here.

         [Shua] (13m ago): He kicked me out.

         Two more photos came in quick succession, which made Seokmin’s heart light up with each notification. The first was of all of Joshua’s textbooks stacked on his desk, laptop turned off and closed. The second was of Joshua under the covers of his blanket, flashing a peace sign to the camera.

         [Shua] (2m ago): I’ll try my best to sleep. I feel my body asking for it.

Seokmin had never hit reply so fast in his life.

         [Seokmin] (now): Sweet dreams!! You worked hard today!

The three dots on the messages left Seokmin waiting with baited breath.

         [Shua] (now):  I didn’t see all your notes. I’m saving the rest for when I need them. Thank you. <3

Seeing the little, red heart emoji made Seokmin’s heart skip several beats. 

         [Shua] (now): Get some rest, too. You worked even harder today.

         [Shua] (now): Today was fun. As always. Good night, Seokmin.  

         The grin that formed on Seokmin’s cheeks almost hurt as he got up from his bed, heading back out into the living room. He jumped right on the couch, earning a shout of surprise from Seungkwan as he whipped around to face his roommate with an annoyed:. “Someone better be dead!” 

         “Look what Joshua-hyung sent me!” That seemed to be just as important - if not more - as someone being dead, because Seungkwan immediately latched himself to Seokmin’s side, scanning the messages top to bottom as Seokmin scrolled through them. “I thought he would think they were stupid, but he thought they were cute. Do you see? He sent me a little heart, too.”  

         “You’re practically dating, Hyung!” Seungkwan gasped, eyes widening. “Stop, that’s so cute! Look, Hansolie!” Hansol leaned forward. He didn’t seem as into the entire thing as the two romantics beside him, but he did offer a smile.

         “That’s cute, hyung.” Hansol said. Seokmin grinned, nodding his head. After a few seconds, Seungkwan’s excitement seemed to die down.

         “… I know we invited you to join us before, but uh….can you leave us alone?”  

         Seokmin blinked, looking between the duo. His eyes finally caught Hansol’s flustered cheeks, and Seungkwan’s slightly messy hair. “Oh. Sorry.” His neck heated up in embarrassment.

“He can join. The best part of the movie is coming up.” Hansol pointed to the screen. Seungkwan huffed, nudging his arm in annoyance.

“No, it’s okay! I’ll go inside. Have fun~.” Seungkwan waved him off, leaning back into Hansol’s arm as his friend headed back into his room.

Seokmin sat himself on his bed, smiling to himself. With excitement bubbling his chest and desperate to be let out, Seokmin Facetimed Mingyu. It took a few rings, but a head of messy hair half-asleep eyes stared back at him through the phone.

“What’s wrong, Min? It’s late.” He turned on his light, and immediately saw the football field sized grin on his best friend’s face. “Someone’s happy.”

         “I’m going to share my screen. I want to show you something.” Mingyu sat up in bed, the sound of Seungcheol half-asleep beside him bubbling to the other side. Seokmin shared the screen to Mingyu, scrolling through the messages. “See? Isn’t he cute? He sent me a heart.” He was really obsessed with the heart.

         “That’s cute, Min.” Mingyu sounded a bit more awake with each passing moment he was watching the screen. “He must really be in love with you….”

         For the first time in the past ten minutes, Seokmin’s grin faltered just a bit. He set the phone down, looking back at the messages from Joshua. He was probably asleep now, hopefully far off in a nice dream.

         “You think he’s in love with me?” 

         “Min, it’s so obvious.” Mingyu chuckled.

         “He’s right.” Seungcheol said, not visible on the screen until Mingyu tilted it in his direction. He rolled over, hand lazily over his eyes. “He’s totally in love with you, Seokmin. Congratulations.” 

         “Huh.” Seokmin blinked, silent for a minute.

         “What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked.

         Seokmin was quiet. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before.”

         “Well, there’s a first time for everything, Seokmin….”

         Seokmin let Mingyu and Seungcheol go for the night so they could sleep, laying back on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling.

         He’s totally in love with you.

         You’re basically dating.

         Seokmin pulled up his edited monologue on Google Documents, scrolling through it. He had already made a good chunk of the edits during his time with Joshua. However, scanning it now, he suddenly felt a desire to add more. It was as if a hidden door popped up out of nowhere, encouraging Seokmin to enter it despite not knowing what he would find.

         So, Seokmin double-tapped the document and began to write. Writing it down, verbalizing his thoughts, his mind  was racing with what could be the most vulnerable he’s ever been.

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[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 82)

A/N: We’re officially in the Endgame now! So for all of those that have missed our reader, she’ll be popping up very soon!

Summary: A surprise visitor, long thought gone, turns up at the compound giving Steve the chance he never thought he’d get

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Angst! Language! Talk of Grief and moving on!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 82: A Chance

5 years since the snap

Steve’s mood was a direct reflection of the weather a dark and gloomy day, thick fog covering everything, even JJ’s excited mood for the first day of first grade could pull Steve out of his slump. 5 years on since Steve started seeing his therapist about depression and grief, he still had days when it felt impossible to get out of bed.

He’d hoped that after taking JJ to school and going out for a run with Scout would help improve his mood, but it didn’t. so much so that he even considered cancelling today’s support group. Struggling to see how he could be any help to others when he could barely help himself.

Nevertheless, the sense of duty drove him to attend. The small room in the community centre seeming more dark and gloomy than before. The group was smaller than usual, people seemingly having the same sort of day as him. The core members of the group were still there, including the man, Joe, who inspired Steve to start the whole thing up.

“so.. I, uh, went on a date the other day,” Joe told the group as part of the catch-up portion of the session, each member telling the group what changes, big or small happened, Steve telling the group how JJ started first grade.

“it’s the first time in five years, you know? I’m sitting there at dinner… i- i- didn’t even know what to talk about” Joe sighed and looked over at Steve.

Steve nods sympathetically, knowing the weight everyone carried around on their shoulders, the extra baggage caused by the snap “what did you talk about?” Steve prompted.

“eh, same old crap, you know how things have changed, my job, his job, how much we miss the Mets… and then things got quiet… then he cried as they were serving the salads” Joe sighed shaking his head.

“what about you?” another member asked.

“I cried just before dessert” Joe answers with a sigh “but I’m seeing him again tomorrow so…”

“that’s great” steve nods “you did the hardest part you took the jump, you didn’t know where you were gonna come down, and that’s it, it's those little brave baby steps we gotta take to try and become whole again, try and find purpose” steve sighs his mind going instantly to JJ.

“I went into the ice in ’45, right after I met my first love… woke up 70 years later, life turned upside down, didn’t think I’d be lucky again and then I met the woman that became my wife, and while she’s not around anymore it’s a reminder that you gotta move on” Steve sighs

“you gotta move on” he repeats mostly for the benefit of himself, reminding himself that it would be what you wanted, no matter how hard it was “the world is in our hands, it's left to us guys as we gotta do something with it otherwise… Thanos should have killed all of us”

Silence falls in the room as everyone takes in what he said, a few people nodding, some wiping away stray tears.

“do you think you’ll find someone again?” one of the ladies asks.

Steve sighs deeply, crossing his arms over his chest as he thought “honestly, I don’t know, maybe… life gave me a second chance with Y/N, it was rough at times and we didn’t get to do everything we planned to, but we made it work, we had our son…” steve sighs before shaking his head “it still seems so fresh, friends have tried to push me into it but it just doesn’t feel right, I feel like I’m cheating on her still” Steve has to bite his lips slightly to stop himself from crying “but that doesn’t it mean it won’t, I know Y/N would want me to be happy and move on and maybe in a few years JJ will have a mom again, but right now I’m just not ready”

A few people nodded and voiced their understanding and agreement, and to Steve’s relief, the topic of conversation moved on. For the rest of the session, Steve tried to stay present but after talking about moving on from you he struggled. He’d had the same conversation over and over again with his therapist but he just couldn’t bring himself to move on. There was something holding him back and he didn’t know what.

Once the session was over Steve packed up all the chairs and made his way outside, taking a deep breath to try and centre himself. When he opened his eyes he spotted a flower stall across the street, spotting a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Without thinking he walked across the street and purchased the flowers before grabbing his phone and dialling Roberta.

“hey Steve is everything okay?” she says once she answered.

“yeah, um do you mind picking JJ up from school today, I know it's bad and I should go considering it's his first day but…” Steve sighed shaking his head as he looked down at the flowers in his hands.

“The session today was tough and you need some time” Roberta finishes for him.

“yeah,” Steve breathes out, his voice shaking.

“of course, it's not a problem, and just call me if you need anything, I’ll cook some dinner for the both of you and get Scout from the house too,” Roberta tells him.

“thank you Roberta that really means a lot, I’ll try and not stay too long, I just need to go see her” Steve promises.

“take as much time as you need sweetheart” Roberta reassures him.

“thank you, I’ll see you later” Steve sighs before hanging up.

As Steve made his way out of the city the sun was beginning to set, the sun finally breaking through the clouds casting an orange glow over everything. As he reached the bridge over the Hudson he hit standstill traffic, looking up ahead he could see a large group of people out of their cars looking out at the river. He looked out to see where they were pointing, spotting a pod of whales swimming past.

Steve muttered in amazement under his breath, even back in the forties the chance of seeing any life in the Hudson river seemed impossible. Yet here they were. Steve sighed wishing JJ was here to see it, knowing how much the boy loved animals. But a part of him hated that scenes like this were now possible, he hated that what Thanos did actually had some good. He’d rather have you, than see whales in the Hudson, no matter how selfish that seemed.

Steve revved his bike and carefully slinked through the traffic towards the compound. The sun had nearly set when he arrived, when he parked up he grabbed the flowers and walked over to the memorial. He took a deep and shaky breath as he placed down the flowers, his eyes instantly finding your name, fingers running over the inscription.

“JJ started first grade today,” Steve said his voice barely above a whisper “he was so excited, I don’t think I've seen a kid so excited for school, I just hope he feels the same when I see him later” he sighs looking up at the sky, silently cursing the clouds that blocked his view of the stars “I miss you so much” he whispered.

Steve stayed there for a few moments before collecting himself and making his way inside to go say hi to Nat before heading back home. As he walked in he found her sitting at a table in the conference room, Steve lingering by the side as she asked Rhodey to continue to look for Clint. Rhodey caught sight of Steve as he signs off, giving him a quick nod before the hologram disappeared. Once he was gone Nat slumped back in her chair clearly unaware of Steve’s presence as she puts her head in her hands and struggles to hold back the tears.

“you know I’d offer to cook you dinner… but you seem pretty miserable already,” Steve says grabbing her attention, trying to lighten the situation.

It works slightly as Nat gives him a weak smile before looking over at him “I do wonder how you feed your son” she comments.

“microwave meals and a friendly neighbour” Steve jokes despite it being far from the truth, now you weren’t around Steve had to step up and slowly over the years learnt to cook with the help of Roberta, while his cooking wasn’t as good as yours, it was pretty decent.

“Are you here to do your laundry?” Nat says, referring to Steve’s usual excuse to visit unannounced.

“and to see a friend” Steve nods.

“Clearly your friend is fine” Nat sighs, clasping her hands together as she looks over at him.

Steve sighs glancing down at his keys “you know I saw a pod of whales when I was coming over the bridge”

“in the Hudson?” Nat asks surprised.

“there’s fewer ships… cleaner water” Steve sighs.

“you know if you’re about to tell me to look on the bright side, um… I’m about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich” she states with a tight smile.

“hmm” Steve hums with a small sigh “sorry force of habit” he apologises as he moves to sit opposite her.

As he sits down she pushes her plate closer to him, offering him half of her sandwich. He thinks about taking it for a second but before he gets the chance he sees a hand reach out and grab it. He looks up to see you standing there smirking as you took a bite of the sandwich, winking at him. Steve lets out a shaky breath as he watches you, trying to keep his eyes open but as soon as he blinks you disappear and the sandwich is left on the plate untouched.

“you still see her don’t you” Nat sighs grabbing Steve’s attention.

Steve sighs nodding his head sadly “only here, and its less often now but even though it kills me to see her… I don’t want it to stop” he admits before scoffing slightly under his breath “you know I keep telling everybody they should move on and grow, some do… but not us”

“if I move on, who does this?” Nat says shaking her head as she looks around the room.

“Maybe it doesn’t need to be done” Steve presses gently, hoping that this time she would finally stop.

But Nat shakes her head, tears collecting in her eyes “I used to have nothing, and then I got this. This job… this family… and I was better because of it… and even though they’re gone… I’m still trying to be better” she admits.

Steve sighs knowing that no matter what he said she wouldn’t change her mind “I think we both need to get a life”

Nat lets out a small huff of a laugh “you first” she says, Steve giving her a small smile.

Their conversation was interrupted by an alert appearing in front of Nat, she quickly swipes it aside “oh hi, hi!” Steve hears behind him, Steve glancing over his shoulder to look at the screen “uh is anyone home” as he does so he sees the CCTV footage of Scott outside the gate of the compound waving at the camera “This is un Scott lang! we met a few years ago at the airport in Germany”

Steve frowns in confusion as he stands up to get a proper look at the screen, not believing what he was actually seeing. As far as he knew Scott was one of the ones who didn’t survive the snap “is this an old message?” Steve asks.

“It’s the front gate” Nat answers her voice wobbling.

Steve’s mind exploded with possibilities as Nat jumped into action opening the gate for Scott, telling him to drive up. How was Scott here? What if the snap was only temporary? If Scott was back did that mean everyone else would come back too? Steve had too many questions he needed answering.

“what the hell has happened?” Scott said as he walked into the compound.

“we’re kinda hoping you could tell us the same thing,” Nat says with a brow arched.

“right because the last thing I knew it was 2018, not 2023!” Scott fires back making Steve’s eyebrows raise in surprise, Scott covers his mouth in shock at his own outburst “sorry, I’m sorry I’m just really freaking out and I need someone to explain what’s going on”

Steve holds out his hand to calm Scott down “okay, okay, what do you know already?” Steve asks him.

“um um I don’t know- i- I Cassie said there was this guy called Thanos and he wiped out like half the universe or something but it's been five years and my little girl isn’t a little girl anymore!” Scott says beginning to freak out more, pacing back and forth.

“I mean that’s the general gist of it” Nat admits “but we thought you were gone too, so how are you here?” she asks.

Scott doesn’t answer and continues to pace back and forth in front of Steve and Nat, the two of them sharing a concerned look as they watched him. Scott muttered to himself as he tried to comprehend everything, Steve knew he needed to give him some time but he was dying to have some answers. He needed to know if you were out there somewhere.

“Scott, are you okay?” Steve asked finally getting Scott to stop pacing.

“yeah” Scott nods, his voice still trembling as he ran his hands down his face “have either of you guys studied quantum physics?” he asks suddenly.

“only to make conversation” Nat admits, Steve looking over at her in surprise.

Scott points over to her “all right so, five years ago, right before… Thanos… I was in a place called the quantum realm, the quantum realm is like its own microscopic universe, to get in there you have to be incredibly small” Scott explains “Hope, she’s my- um- she was my- she was supposed to pull me out and then Thanos happened and I got stuck in there”

Steve sighs deeply dropping his head, the hopes he had that the snap was temporary and you were out there somewhere right now completely dashed. Scott was one of the ones who survived, he never disappeared in the first place.

“I’m sorry that must have been a very long five years,” Nat says sympathetically.

“yeah but that’s just it, it wasn’t,” Scott said shaking his head “for me it was 5 hours, see the rules of the quantum realm aren’t like they are up here, everything is unpredictable, is that anybody’s sandwich? I’m starving” Scott asks pointing over to Nat’s sandwich.

“Scott” Steve says as he walks past him to grab the sandwich “what are you talking about?” he asks completely lost on what Scott was saying.

“so” Scott starts, his voice muffled by the mouthful of sandwich “what I’m saying is, time works differently in the quantum realm, the only problem is right now, we don’t have a way to navigate it” Scott explains beginning to pace again “but what if we did? I can’t stop thinking about it, what if we could somehow control the chaos and we could navigate it? what if there was a way that we could enter the quantum realm at a certain point in time but then exit the quantum realm at another point in time, like… like before Thanos” he finishes.

“Wait,” Steve said holding up his hand as he tried to comprehend what Scott was suggesting “are you talking about a time machine,” Steve asks struggling to believe it.

“no, no of course not, no not a time machine,” Scott says shaking his head “this is more like a…” Scott says gesturing with his hand as he tries to think of something else “yeah like a time machine, I know its crazy, its crazy, but I- I- can’t stop thinking about it, there’s gotta be… some way… it's crazy” Scott sighs in defeat looking down at the floor.

“Scott, I get emails from a raccoon so nothing sounds crazy anymore” Natasha states in an attempt to comfort him.

“so who do we talk to about this?” Scott asks.

“Stark seems like the best bet,” Steve says with a sigh glancing over at Nat.

“do you think he’ll be up for it?” Nat asks unconvinced.

“maybe but it's worth a shot, I’m supposed the be going over this weekend with JJ, we can ask him then,” Steve says shrugging his shoulders.

“sounds like a plan, wait who’s JJ?” Scott asks confused.

“my son, he uh- he was born a year before the snap” Steve explains clearing his throat.

“oh nice, congratulations, how is Y/N?” Scott asks with a small smile.

Steve’s voice catches in his throat, swallowing the lump of emotion as he looked down at the floor. Thankfully Scott seemed to pick up on what was wrong meaning Steve didn’t need to say the words he hated.

“oh… oh I’m so sorry Steve” Scott mutters shaking his head sadly.

“it's okay,” Steve says his voice cracking as he cleared his throat “it's uh late, I should get home, I’ll swing by here and pick you guys up on Saturday,” he says grabbing his keys and jacket and quickly making his way out.

“Steve” Nat called out making him pause at the door “we’ll work it out”

Steve just nods before turning and making his way out the door.

When he got home, he quietly opened the front door aware that JJ was most likely fast asleep upstairs given the late hour. As he stepped inside Scout quickly trotted over, his tail wagging as he greeted Steve, nuzzling his snout into Steve’s hand as if he could sense Steve’s distress.

“hey, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost” Roberta says grabbing Steve’s attention.

Steve blinked a couple of times looking over to see her sitting on the couch book in hand. Steve nods slightly before kicking off his shoes and handing up his coat before walking in.

“is JJ asleep?” he asks as he sits down on the couch.

“yeah he wanted to stay up but I managed to convince him saying you’d pop in when you got in” Roberta explains as she puts down her book “is everything okay?”

“yeah… no… I don’t know” Steve sighs dropping his head into his hands and rubbing his face tiredly.

“What happened?” Roberta asks sitting forward and putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve took a deep breath as he leaned back and slumped against the couch “while I was at the compound, someone we thought had been snapped away turned up” Steve explained, Roberta’s eyes widening in surprise.

“it turns out he was in this place called the quantum realm for the past 5 years, but to him it only felt like 5 hours” Steve continues shaking his head as he still tried to understand it all.

“so it's like he travelled through time?” Roberta asks confused.

“yeah, and he thinks maybe we could use this realm to get everyone back,” Steve says looking over at her.

“shit…” Roberta mutters, slumping back in disbelief.

“my sentiments exactly, it's this wild idea but what if we can? What if we can get everyone back, bring Y/N back” Steve admits quietly as he looks up at the ceiling.

“Are you gonna try? If it works and you can do it?” Roberta asks him.

“I have to, for JJ” Steve sighs shaking his head “for everyone who lost someone”

“then do it, do whatever it is you need to do, and if it doesn’t work at least you know you tried,” Roberta says reaching out to put her hand on top of his “and whatever you need, I’ll be here”

“thank you Roberta, I just really hope this works” Steve sighs biting his lip to stop himself from crying.

“if I know anything about you Steve, it's that you never give up,” Roberts says making him let out a small huff of a laugh “now go on upstairs, say goodnight to JJ and get some rest, you have a lot ahead of you”

“Thank you Roberta, I don’t know what I would have done without you” Steve smiles as he stands up from the couch.

“probably burnt this place down a week after moving in” Roberta snorts making Steve chuckle.

“yeah probably, you get some rest too, thank you for helping out tonight” Steve smiles.

“It's nothing, I’ll see you tomorrow” Roberta smiles standing up and heading out.

Quickly and quietly running up the stairs Steve crept into JJ’s room, his jungle nightlight projecting the shapes of different animals around the room. Steve could see JJ was fast asleep and while he Roberta promised Steve was come in to say goodnight, Steve was reluctant to disturb him.

“Daddy?” JJ murmured in his sleep rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“hey bean, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” Steve smiles as he walks in perching on the side of JJ’s bed, hand running over his hair “did you have a good day at school?” he asks.

“yeah it was really fun, Miss Levinson is really nice and pretty,” JJ says making Steve chuckle.

“That’s good I'm glad you enjoyed it” Steve smiles leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

“where did you go?” JJ then asks him.

Steve sighs as he tries to work out what to tell him “I needed to help a friend who’s been lost for a while now” Steve tells him.

“lost?” JJ asks confused.

“yeah he didn’t know where he was and needed some help” Steve explained.

“Is he okay now?” JJ asks concerned.

“yeah, he will be, now you get some sleep you’ve got another couple of days of school ahead of you,” Steve says tucking JJ back in.

“and then we’ll see Morgan?” JJ asks hopefully.

“yes we’ll see Morgan” Steve confirms with a chuckle “now go to sleep and I’ll see you in the morning”

“Okay, night night daddy,” JJ says making himself comfortable.

“night night bean” Steve smiles kissing the top of his head.

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Series Masterlist / Masterlist

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[sofiiel]

I Remember You | Part One

Eddie x Fem!Reader Post S4 - Time Skip | Sort fic (probably) about 3 parts.

WARNINGS: Angst. Reader suffers from alcohol + drug abuse. S4 is only semi cannon in this fic. There will be eventual smut in later parts. Use of Y/n (not too much, I think?).

A/N: Based off of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" | The songs : Far From Home : The Sweetest Chill : Taking Over Me : Walking On Both Sides : Cirice : Corrode : Oceans.

TOC | NEXT ⇒

You haven't been the same since the spring of '86, eight years ago. Somewhat of a late bloomer and a few years behind your peers in heading out into the great big world, you decided to finally let the man you'd been crushing on for well over four years know how you feel.

It was becoming to listen to him talk as you worked together at the old auto shop. You almost felt like blurting it out, but it was a scary thought. In your eyes he was this beautiful creature, and you felt very plain.

But these would be your final months in Hawkins before college. You needed to tell him soon, or you might never get this burden off your chest.

You planned to leaving a note for Eddie in an envelope near his usual work station. However, as fate would have it you happened to run into him at near RadioShack and Melvald's that morning.

Eddie was checking to see if they had Walkman's in stock, as he'd broken his previous one. Popping by before school. While you were heading to Melvald's snagging items for lunch before heading off to your first job down at Enzo's.

Between the small talk, you decided to pull the envelope with a mixed tape and mini confession asking him to meet you at the lookout point over the quarry, if he understood what you wanted to say, if he'd hear you out.

When you exited Melvald's, Eddie hastily exited RadioShack. Leaving his purchase at the cashier for a moment. You could tell by the look on his face that he'd opened that envelope, and that he's read that letter.

You could feel your stomach bubble and your palms sweat. An unfortunate occurrence as he reached out and carefully stole your hand. Eddie looked through you with a sincere gaze and sheepish smile, "I'll be there around, Ten." He said. Explaining that he had a long DnD session, how it was the end of the campaign.

A campaign you'd heard much about during your shared shifts. You eagerly let him know that works out just fine, and wish him luck with his campaign before heading off to work.

And when ten o'clock rolled around, you waited at the quarry.

Eddie never expected he'd have Chrissy Cunningham as a customer that day. He couldn't have dreamed that his co-worker had a crush on him either. This year would be a good one, an old crush remembering who he was? More so, hitting it off well?

And potentially being asked out by the sweet woman he worked with?

Though, Eddie also never expected to be taking Chrissy to his trailer to complete a more risky drug deal. And he certainly didn't expect the horrifying adventure it would lead him down.

Still, you waited hours at the quarry before giving into the idea that you were either stood up, or his game ran well over the estimated time.

You'd see him tomorrow at work, you could talk about it then during your break.

But Eddie never showed up to work.

And then the news stories, followed by the hysteria. Hawkins thrown into madness. You did what little you could to help in Eddie's favor, refusing to believe what the media told. Helping Wayne Munson post his flyers.

Then the earthquake, and still Eddie was missing.

Days turned into months, and eventually the town was evacuated "radioactive activity" causing spores and fallout. You left Hawkins, and with many questions, disappointment and a heavy heart pursued college and a career.

You graduated, and after years of avoiding the little town of Hawkins; Years of relationships failing and struggling to find work in your desired career, you finally return to Hawkins.

Your best friend, Vickie was having an unofficial wedding, and she'd need all the support she could get. Having grown up together and knowing how traditional her parents were, she'd need someone like family there at the small, secret ceremony held at her fiancé's best man of honor's house.

It was a lovely ceremony filled with mostly Vickie's wife's friends. A lot of names you'd heard of before, names that brought up why you'd avoided Hawkins for so long.

Fate has never cared for you much, you've never been the lucky sort. After many failed jobs and even more failed job hunts. You land a well paying job in Hawkins...in your field at that.

Forced to stay, you rent a small cabin out by lover's lake, and try not to think about the cabin that rested nestled away just across the lake.

The winter days pass slowly, until March 20th 1994; the groundhog had spotted it's shadow just the day before. You'd trudged through your front door after a night of drinking with Vickie, Robin, and Steve.

It seemed all three of you aimed to drink away the memory of the day for many different reasons. It was a somber visit to the local bar.

With unsteady feet, you wobbled your way through the living room, dropping your purse on the couch. You stumble through the dark into the kitchen, making a large ball jar of water and guzzling it.

You refill the glass, and head for your bedroom, stopping by the bathroom and gather your morning quick fix supplies; A bottle of aspirin and a packet of alka-seltzer before heading off to bed.

After all, you did have work in the morning.

Though you would find little sleep that night for the gentle rapping against the door.

It was the night of March 20th.

Rat-tat-tat-tat

Something echoed softly into the night, causing you to stir from a dreamless sleep. You turn over in your bed and hug your pillow as your stomach turned.

Rat-tat...rat-tat...tat

"Sssshhit!" You cursed, throwing your blanket high in the air, far from your bed. Your feet hit the carpet hard as you fled, bounding towards the bathroom.

"Not gonna make it to the bowl" You thought. Snatching up the emergency bucket, holding it up to your face, you let your stomach purge itself.

You grimace as the distinctly orange spew within from the nachos at The Hide-Out.

"Ugh...why do you always look?" you asked yourself, sickened. You dumped the contains into the toilet and flushed it away, rinsing the bucket in the bathtub.

Rat-tat-tat rat-tat

You fall silent, you'd thought you'd heard a sound in your sleep. However, you'd ignored it as a hint of dream. The odd realm of being neither asleep nor awake. Yet there it was again.

"Where is it coming from?" You asked yourself. Getting to your feet you wander about your house in search of it.

Nothing, all fell quiet and with a sigh you headed back to bed. At least your stomach felt better.

You retrieve your blanket from the floor and snuggle into bed. You needed to sleep, even at 1 AM the 20th would still be there until you awoke to the morning sun. It would still be the 20th until which time your alarm clock shouted at you, and you'd had your morning coffee.

And you wanted little else than for the 20th to pass.

Dreamless sleep took hold once again. Between the gap of time, a sound broke through.

Rat.....tat.....tat...tat

More muted than before, the weak rapping coaxed your unwilling eyes open. Breaking your much-needed slumber.

You look towards the window, "it's likely a moth against the glass," you told yourself, "or pesky teens with little else to do." you grumbled. Groaning, you heave your body out of bed and to the window to investigate.

No moth in sight, must be kids bored on the first night of spring.

Opening your window, you call out, "ha, ha. Very funny, now kindly stop and let me sleep!"

You linger, listening and scanning the indigo world outside, illuminated by the half moon, you saw and heard nothing.

"You were dreaming." You murmur, heading back to bed. Sitting at the edge of your mattress, you open the drawer to your nightstand and gather two balls of cotton, stuffing them into your ears. Hell-bent on achieving a few more hours sleep.

Though through the white tufts clogging your ears, you could have sworn you'd heard a muffled whisper of your name. As if whispered on the wind, through a creaking branch of the trees, to in the song of a lonely cricket in the corner of your room.

Your dry straining eyes, exhausted, flutter open. A hand searches inside the pillowcase, slipping see a folded piece of paper.

You can't open it, you can't stand to look at it. "Maybe if I tear it..." you pondered. A thumb unwittingly rubs the paper , you are unable to bring yourself to rip it. As it left a sour reminder, knowing his face is there inside the paper's creases, gave you a bittersweet comfort.

You listen to the faint sound of your skin caressing the paper, and with a sigh you shut your eyes. One more try.

But it was not sleep that took you, rather unconsciousness.

Eddie glared at the ceiling above him, standing next to an empty bed covered in a busy blanket with tacky tassels pillows. It was the home he'd been hiding in for the last handful of years.

He'd long given up on the lake house or home. The gates were gone, and no one seemed to hear him in the early years.

The upside down was left empty and slowly dying around him. The monsters were dwindling, all that is, but a single monster who refused to wane. This realm, this pocket of the upside down, would soon become nothing. Eddie dreaded the thought of it.

But it seems luck finally decided to tease him.

For many months, lingering above him was a familiar voice, the veil between up and down was thin in this place. He could almost see her. A faint and blurry shadow above him, like looking through a dirty fun house mirror.

For the longest time he could not remember her name, but he knew her voice. Eddie couldn't remember a good many things lately. Everything was fading slowly.

He could remember faces, voices. He could remember how he got there. However, the names to said faces and voices were fading. For those who wasn't close too, he could scarcely remember the way they sounded.

But with her, he could see her face clearly in his head and remember how her voice sounded in his ears when she spoke to him. He remembered they were friends, co-workers.

Eddie remembered he felt like he could tell her anything. Except, that is, telling her that very thing itself.

"She heard me." Eddie muttered. "And she's drunk again, too drunk." he said. From what he observed recently, it wasn't unusual for her to drink like a fish. He'd yet to see her this bad off.

Eddie climbed onto the bed, a broom stick in hand. He poked its tip towards the ceiling where he looked up, peering down at her face. "You can't sleep like that," He shouted.

Shouting wasn't a problem anymore, for nothing was around to hear it.

Poking lightly at her shoulder, Eddie shouted, "Come on, I know you hear me-"

The broom stick hit the solid ceiling, and Eddie's view of her had vanished.

"Shit" he whispered, falling down onto the bed. Rolling off of it, Eddie rushed to the phone, dialing. It was an old trick he'd tried before in hopes of reaching someone on the other side.

It worked once, for a moment with his uncle. Though on average, all the people heard was static. He'd heard Her share her phone number with.... Vickie, yes that was the name, when she'd first moved in.

Eddie clutched the phone, and while it's ringing was quiet, the ringing from above was loud.

"She's sleeping right through it." Eddie mumbled. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he pressed a finger to the button, hanging it up and dialing again.

He would have to try someone else and hope he could break through somehow. Dustin, Mike, Lucas the phone never made a sound on his end.

Nancy, Robin, and Gareth, it rang but not fore long.

Then, Eddie finally broke through.

"Who is this? Do you even know what time it is, asshole?" Steve's voice growled groggily. Eddie exhaled in relief. "You need to get up and check on Y/n. Like now." Eddie said.

Though above his voice came through distorted, words only sounds vaguely making sense. But the feelings made it through.

Steve slammed the phone down and shuddered. For a time he simply gazed at it, rubbing his eyes. "It must have been a crank call." He said slowly, "Just a crank call."

Looking towards his clock, Steve frowned, "Y/n was wasted, I should call and make sure she gets up for work." He thought, reaching for the phone, Steve dialed.

The phone rang, but no one answered, "Of course." Steve sighed, hitting redial.

Five attempts in and Steve hung up. He groaned and got out of bed, slipping on his shoes and grabbing a jacket. He would need to go over to her house and make sure she hadn't drunkenly fallen asleep in the tub or fell and knocked her head.

Or slept through her alarm.

Upon arriving, all knocks went unanswered. Steve reached above the door frame and knocked down a spare key. He gave his head a shake, mimicking Eddie's reaction from the other side.

"Jesus, anyone ever tell her that's as bad as hiding it under the mat?" Steve murmured as he slipped the key into the door and turn.

"Yeah, used to hide the spare to the shop under the old empty flower pot outside the door. Told her it was bad...it's probably still there." Eddie answered, though he could not be heard.

"But hurry it up big guy, she's out, out." Eddie urged.

Steve opened the door and stepped inside. "Still smells like twenty pounds of carpet freshener." he murmured, closing the door behind him.

"Y/n!" Steve called out, "get up, or you'll be late and very fired." he said, making his way to the back of the house.

Eddie followed him from below, through the hall and into the bedroom. He could hear Steve, the veil had not weakened again and he could not see them.

"Come on, show me something" Eddie thought, biting his lip and wringing his hands. This was the one place he could see the world above, it was the one person who he could hear talk and the fact it was her; he wanted every second he could get.

Eddie's eyes darted across the decaying ceiling above him, at the drying, darkened vines.

"Then you'll rant at Vickie about it, and she'll fret to Robin about it, and I'll hear it for the next month, and they'll send me to help you job hunt." Steve ranted on, leaning over he shook Y/n lightly. "I'm terrible at job-"

Steve's voice caught in his throat as he watched her, that was four good shake, and she flopped about like a fish on a line. "Hello!" he shouted, clapping his hands together near her ear. A glance around the other side revealed the ick on her pillow and around her mouth.

He pulled away the covers, he bounced on the mattress, he tried to tug her arm.

Nothing was working.

Running a hand through his hair, Steve tried to calm himself. "Ok, think." he whispered.

Eddie cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting, "Pinch her, real hard, like it's St. Patrick's Day, and she forgot the green!" He then listened, and heard little movement. Eddie climbed onto the bed, "I said-" he started to shout.

Steve didn't know where the thought came from, but hesitantly he gave Y/n's arm a pinch, a long one. With a gasp and a whisper of a yelp, she stirred.

You awoke with your head feeling like a beaten gong. A bitter taste in your dry mouth, and your forearm felt like a crab claw had a hold of it.

With dizzying vision, you rolled over to glare at the new source of pain.

In a groggy slur, you questioned, "Steve?" your voice was raspy, and he was hardly able to make out that it was his name.

"How much did you drink last night? You shouldn't be shitfaced, it didn't look like that much." Steve fussed.

It was hard to keep your eyes open, you tried your best to answer him, but a dry heave spoke instead. Steve hopped away in panic as you wretched, moving his feet out of the line of fire.

Fortunately for him, nothing came up.

"I'm a lightweight," You mumbled, words falling all over themselves.

Eddie crossed his arms, and frowned. "Four shots of vodka yesterday morning before getting dressed, she's got a flask of whiskey hidden in the nightstand which she sipped on while getting dressed. Had two beers and three of the little airline bottles for lunch. Two more vodka shots before walking to the bar!" Eddie called up.

"Steve, she's swimming in it!" he added.

Steve watched you with wide eyes, "That would have been nice to know beforehand...you were fine at the wedding..." He said.

You side glanced, You'd avoided your usual amount of liquor that day for Vickie's sake.

Your head was hazy, but you knew enough to know that you were a mess at this moment. If only for the look on Steve's face.

Trying to convince him, you attempted to stand, "I'm, I'm good. Really, I'm okay, see," you stated, but within seconds teetered and fell back on the bed.

Eddie listened to the squeaky springs.

"I'll call your job, you can't go in like this." Steve said, reaching for the phone.

"No! Don't do that. I just need some coffee and a cold shower." You reasoned.

Arching a brow, Steve's eyes narrowed, "you can't drive like this."

"Of course not! I'm not crazy! You dumb-dumb. I'd walk," You slurred, "I always walk." came in a whisper.

"What was that?" Steve asked.

"Nothing" you answered.

With a sigh, Steve checked his watch, he would need to be down at the police station soon. "Alright, I'll go make the coffee, I guess. You just, stay here." He said hesitantly leaving the room.

You sighed and hid your face in your hands, "No one's supposed to see you like this." you whispered to yourself.

"Oh!" Steve called, popping his head back in the door.

You nearly jumped out of your skin and looked at him wide-eyed.

"You don't get in the shower until you can stand without falling over." He ordered, pointing at you.

"Yes, officer Harrington," you sang dryly.

Eddie exhaled in relief and plopped down on the mattress, he dragged his hands down his face and tilted his head back. "I know I don't remember much these days, but I don't remember you being this way. Ever." he murmured.

Then again, it'd been so long. If he hadn't taken to keeping a diary, he'd not even remember what year it was or what month.

"I wonder what happened to you." Eddie said, voicing his thoughts into the cold, stale air. At the very least, this would keep you home for a little while longer. Which meant he had company until you could leave the house.

"It'd be better if you hadn't just poisoned yourself." Eddie said, side glancing, "you probably need a hospital."

"Can't do this anymore, they may cart me off to the ER next time and then the world will know." you thought, crawling into bed to lay on your side.

Steve reentered your room, carrying a novelty mug of coffee, black, no cream or sugar. A long scowl was on his face, "Maybe you had more than I thought, this room wreaks of booze, either that or you blew chunks all over." Steve sighed.

He handed you the cup, and you sat up to drink.

"More likely that..." you murmured, taking a sip of the piping hot coffee.

"Nice. Gross." Steve groaned looking about the floor, but it looked clean.

Steve's stare made you squirm, "He suspects something at the very least." you thought while continuing with your coffee.

"Well?" Steve asked.

You glance up confused, "well?" you parrot carefully.

Steve scoffed, "Thank you? Might be nice." He said, "I got up an hour early for this."

"It would have been" Eddie said, jumping into a conversation he couldn't really be a part of. Somehow, it made him feel better.

You laughed a bit, feeling lighter. You looked at Steve with a grateful smile, "Thank you." you said.

Steve cast you a bewildered look, "You're weird sometimes, you know?" He asked, though he tried his best to offer a smile as well. He was more than sure, whatever excuses you had, last night you got wasted on purpose.

And for a reason he could understand well.

"I'll stay until you can prove you can walk, just lay down for a bit." Steve sighed, heading out of the room.

"Where are you going?" You asked.

"You think you're the only one who needs Coffee? Besides, someone's got to tell Vickie you're flat on your ass." He called back.

Finishing your coffee, you flopped back on the bed, gazing at the ceiling.

Eddie exhaled again and closed his eyes, "don't make this a habit, I can't always get through like that." he said. As he opened his eyes, the veil had weakened again, and he could see through that dirty mirror above.

Eye to eye with you, he smiled to himself. "You don't know I'm here, but...hi." He spoke with a little wave of his hand. Eddie busied himself by laying there, watching and listening to your back and forth banter with Steve and all of his lecturing.

Remembering the good old days of working at the auto shop, stealing half of your pudding pie or a stick of gum. Drawing on your face with oil that'd gotten on his clothing.

The fact that the memory was vivid, bright and loud brought a grin into his eyes.

Time spent sitting atop the junk cars on breaks and talking about the type of day the two of you had survived. He didn't envy your job at Enzo's, and you never failed to let him know you did not envy him being stuck at Hawkins High still.

Eddie's feet wiggled as he chuckled, remembering how he'd like to bug you at the cashier, or you coming to him unsure of what car bit a customer was trying to buy.

His smile faded, and his hand slipped into the pocket of his jean pocket, he pulled out a ruined mixtape. One that he'd only had the chance to listen to once before.

The faded water damaged, blood splattered tape still faintly reading "Psst, Hey Munson." in tiny caps.

Eddie held the tap above him, his heart hammering a little harder. With a frown fixed in place, he sat up, tucked the tap into his vest pocket and walked to the wall. He balled his hand into a fist.

Rat-tat-tat

You heard softly from your room. "Again?" you whispered.

"Hey Steve! Was that you?" you called out, as Steve went to refill his cup.

"Nope, cup already poured. You're drunk Y/n! Rest it off!" Steve called back.

Below, Eddie sighed, "Gotta think of a better way to let her know." He then murmured quietly, "If you even can." Eddie was unsure of how much longer he had. His wounds were long healed, but he'd scavenged everything he could from alternate Hawkins.

The upside down offered spotty electricity which allowed some food products to survive over the years, then there was the long shelf life items. Bottled waters. But after eight years, those were all dwindling.

Eddie gingerly touched his rib cage, he could feel the bones closer through his skin. Dropping weight now. Scarcely using the few shavers he could find just to keep his beard from reaching his knees. Keeping several scissors for the day when the shavers ran out.

He also had a plan B, Eddie had no desire to waste away in a slow, agonized death. "I'd rather not," He thought, looking towards the night stand. Her flask and his pills, same drawer, a dimension apart.

Eddie wondered if her flask shared the same purpose, just much slower.

"I hope not." He said, knocking on the wall once more.

Rat-tat-tat-tat

There it went again, you glared up at the ceiling. "Maybe it is the alcohol." you murmured, closing your eyes. Resting them for just a moment.

OC | NEXT ⇒

[cheesygroove]

delayed after party part 2

solar x reader. 1k words of angst and facing consequences. yes, continuation is here over a year later! read under the cut. warning: I don't want minors reading my contents. part 1 in this series previous series: midnight celebration - part 1 - part 2

"You both know why you're here."

The security girl fidgeted with her fingers, avoiding looking at you two from her seat near the CEO.

Yes, you knew as soon as you stepped into the meeting room with Solar. Realization poured into you like the rainstorm outside, big windows showing a darkening sky with lightning in the distance. The company got fancier with your hard work; that was the truth. During debut times, you'd be oblivious to the outside climate since it used to be settled in a modest basement. There were no cameras around, too — so upper management was also oblivious to the inside climate. Completely unaware of any mishappenings between Solar and you taking place at the practice rooms.

"For formalities sake, for the record," he said while turning his chair around, remote control in hand to close off the blinds, "let's go over it. From the start. Have a seat, please."

Solar sat down first. You felt an uneasiness crumbling up your throat as you finally acknowledged her presence there. She walked by your side the whole time, yet, since your last kiss, you treated her like a ghost — not looking, avoiding being near. Keeping your head down. You approached it as a way to save your energy to tenfold interact and put on a friendly face once promotions begin.

Was it smart, considering you'd been caught? Probably not, and you could hear Solar going on about it inside your head — "We could've come up with a plan, we could've planned what to say" — but instead it just solidified your current behavior. You wouldn't bear her treating your feelings like a work matter ever again, albeit it being the rational course of action.

Just let me be the selfish one, for once.

"Hey," she called up to you, breaking the silence, saying your name in a lower tone. Solar made an effort to accompany the direction of your gaze, eventually locking both in the same place. "It'll be okay. Come on. Sit down too."

You widened your mouth, "What...?" not understanding a thing. Her tone and her sweet demeanor seemed so foreign. You watched Solar, expecting to find the same old traces of nervousness, regret, and anger, but none of it showed while she calmly poured water on an empty cup and slid it in front of the chair you were supposed to sit on. By her side.

"What the hell, Solar..." you whispered, pulling the chair to sit down. It was hard to keep your eyebrows from frowning when her affection finally came, just when you least expected it. Or wanted it.

The thunderstorm outside was loud but not enough to prevent you from hearing the CEO's frustrated sigh. The papers next to him resembled the contract you signed years ago, but you didn't dare stare at it to confirm.

"There's no use in denying anything here, I must warn you. It was sufficient damage to our trust already that you two hid this from us," he said, eyes going from Solar to you and you-to-Solar nonstop. "To guarantee that, let's hear from the security camera's person. What were your findings, Byulyi?"

She put her hand on her chest as if to defend herself from an accusation, "I-I-I-I didn't find it, I just gave their manager the footage when he demanded it..."

"Ahem, right, you didn't snoop on them. Just say what was on your monitor. What the cameras recorded when these two were alone in the practice room."

"Well, kissing. And arguing. Then, crying." Byulyi spoke with pauses and mouthed a sorry when the CEO diverted his eyes from her to Solar and you.

"We can't afford a crisis just before a comeback. Doing his job, your manager realized the change in behaviour after that one practice session and went after the footage," he explained. "So, save my time here. You're not denying it, are you?"

You gulped. It felt like instinct to deny since, after all, you denied even your own feelings related to her. But the words couldn't come forward this time around.

"No," Solar said with an unshakable ease. "It's true. All of it. And there's more to it than what you saw on camera."

Under the table, Solar grabbed your hand and pressed it. She was scared, you supposed, despite her attitude. Scared you might open up with a different story, ruining whatever cold plan she came up with to save her skin. You could see where that was going; you imagined she wouldn't deny it and would proceed to throw you under the bus.

Would she be wrong, though? You were the only one who cared. Who cultivated pointless feelings. If someone was to blame and suffer the consequences, it probably should be you.

But there's nothing more to it, you thought, and would've said if brave enough to, because you never wanted anything to do with me, Solar.

"Okay, more than that? Are you saying it's a relationship, Yongsun?" the CEO asked. "Even in office jobs you would report this sort of thing to HR, you know. Pff," he scoffed.

"I meant more feelings wise," Solar explained. A single tear rolled down your cheek while your hand felt lighter as your fingers escaped her grip. "Not a relationship. No, I'm too stupid for that. I've just been dragging this situation along and don't deserve to be with her."

He crossed his arms at his chest. "Look, I'm not here to hear your drama. Just tell me what is this that you two have exactly."

You looked at Solar, unexpectedly finding out that she'd been crying in silence just like you.

"We have nothing. I like her and that's all, it's irrelevant if she likes me back or not. Heck, I'm not even sure if she does or not." It seemed like she would say more, but the tears got in the way. Byulyi, who seemingly wanted nothing to do with the situation, appeared to be emotional too.

The CEO was the only one with a dry face.

"You just said it's irrelevant if she likes you back or not. Let's get to the point."

"Yes yes, I'm just reaffirming — she has nothing to do with it. As the leader I should've known better than being so unprofessional. The punishment should be on me and accordingly to what's expected of my position."

"So? You're both adults and I watched the footage. It didn't seem like an one-sided thing as you're painting it to be."

Solar sighed. The tip of her fingers found your hand again and caressed it.

"I'm just saying that —" she stopped to dry her tears "— if you're planning on cancelling our contracts, cancel mine. Only mine."

The surprise, the confession, the sacrifice she'd put herself up for because of you. The overwhelm in emotions made you a bit sick for just thinking the opposite, struggling to find the words to stop Solar from what she was trying to do.

The papers on top of the desk, supposedly your contracts, seemed to be growing in size as the CEO's fingers tapped on them. When his eyes diverted from it to you, you knew there was no need to say anything else.

to be continued...

a/n: y'all, after all this time I'm gonna let you hanging! sorry. for those of you who requested it (you know what), next part will have all of it :3