#not that there's anything wrong with being an assistant

[naburi]

WE CAN DO THREESOME

JIHYO X PORNSTAR X READER

TAGS: THREESOME, INTERACIAL

1.8K WORDS

Being one of the top employees this year, your manager rewarded you with a flight overseas. But there’s a catch, you can only go alone. Not wanting to be by yourself, you bring your girlfriend with you. After a long flight, you’re now about to enter your hotel room. The reason why it’s only a one man trip is laying on the bed waiting for you in her two piece bikini.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jihyo blurted loudly, the woman smiled before sitting up on the bed. “I have been booked to welcome you,” the busty woman said. In shock of the situation, you found your eyes glued to the body of the woman. Her curves are otherworldly. Her boobs and ass are too big for you to comprehend. Your eyes are wandering all over her body, trying to make sense of how sexy she really is.

“You’re in the wrong room, woman,” your girlfriend says while walking closer to the woman. “I’m here to welcome Y/N,” Violet Myers politely says. Jihyo quickly turns her head towards you, wanting an explanation. You're now making eye contact with the woman, her eyes looking so respectful, contrasting her enticing body that is only covered by pieces of fabric. You explained to your girlfriend that you didn’t know anything about this, your manager only said to go alone.

You and your girlfriend exchange glances as it clicks to the both of you. Violet notices that the two of you haven’t brought down your bags, she stands up to the bed assisting the two of you. She offers to order some drinks and snacks but you decline as you are not that hungry. The three of you are now sitting on the edge of the bed. The room is compact with one bed, a shower room and a small dining area. “You can leave now,” your girlfriend said while she’s in between you and the woman. She appreciates her hospitality but she just can’t stand her being in the same room as the two of you.

“I will not get paid, I didn’t do my job” Violet said. “What’s your job then?” Jihyo slightly raised her voice in agitation. “To give pleasure, I can also give any woman pleasure…” Violet said slowly while looking at your girlfriend. She put her hands on Jihyo's lap, caressing it slowly. Your girlfriend swatted her hands away just as she stood up. “Don’t touch me like that!” Jihyo said in shock. Your girlfriend looks at you, waiting for your reaction.

“I-I guess we should let her do her thing” you said.

“What? Are you out of your mind? Are you gonna fuck her infornt of me?” Jihyo said out loud.

“We can do threesome,” Violet quickly interrupted.

You go back and forth with the two women to find a middle ground. After what seems like an eternity of arguments somehow, you convince Jihyo to do threesome with her as you remind her about your relationship’s bucket list. You both didn’t expect to fill that checklist in this situation. Jihyo finally sat back down in between the two of you. Violet looks at you in the eyes, signaling that she will now do her job.

Her hands go back on your girlfriend’s thighs as she runs her fingers on top of her jeans. You hold Jihyo’s face as you pull her in a kiss. The woman’s hands are slowly caressing its way up. From the thighs, it’s now up on Jihyo’s exposed stomach. She felt violet’s fingers gently running on her abs as this made her moan. Violet’s fingers are touching up on Jihyo’s bra, indicating where her hands want to go. She reaches back on the lock of her bra to take it off. She tosses her bra at the other end of the room before she cups her big boobs in her hands. Your girlfriend's boobs are big but you just can’t compare her size to the woman that you just met. Jihyo moans in between your kisses as her boobs are being groped. As a woman herself, violet knows how to touch someone’s boobs. She continues to grope her boobs while her index fingers are circling on both nipples. Violet is teasing Jihyo into wanting more, which Jihyo did. She put her own two hands on the woman to indicate that she needed more. The woman obliged as she knew pinching and playing with her nipples.

This made Jihyo’s head pull back. She knows leaning her weight onto the woman as she looks like a mess. You take this opportunity to pull her pants down, revealing wet marks on her panties. You pressed her slit over her wet panties, acting like you’re trying to insert your fingers inside her. Your girlfriend’s hand now reaches into her panties and pulls it aside to give way to your fingers. Her slit is glistening wet. Your two fingers swiftly enter her as you feel her wet inside. Jihyo arches her back with sudden pleasure. Violet saw her neck wide open, she sucked her neck trying to give her hickeys as she also licked her in place. Jihyo doesn’t know being touched by a woman can be this good. Violet’s hands are groping her boobs while her mouth and tongue are busy in her neck. Her reaction after you insert your fingers encourages you to plunge your fingers more inside her. A splash sound can be heard due to how wet she is. Few moans have passed, and the woman decides to pull up Jihyo’s crop top, removing it before she lays her down. Jihyo is now laying flat on the bed, the woman moves to the side, kneeling as her mouth reaches onto her boob. Your girlfriend moans as she feels the woman’s tongue flicking her nipples. Seeing her other boob is free, you instinctively suck her boob as well. Jihyo’s moans erratically. Two mouths are sucking on boobs, two tongues are circling and flicking her boobs. This sensation is too much for your girlfriend as she has her first orgasm.

You stand up to remove your pants while watching Violet take Jihyo’s mouth, enticing her into a make out which Jihyo quickly accepts. The two women are busy exploring each other’s mouths as you align your cock on jihyo’s wet slit. You hold your hard cock as you push it inside of her. Your girlfriend moans while Violet’s tongue is inside her mouth as she feels your hard cock inside of her. You have her legs open as you are holding her thighs while you thrust your cock inside her. Violet continues to make out with her but knowing that you’re fucking your girlfriend in front of her made her feel hot. She knows cupping her own boobs, her boobs are the biggest pair of tits you have seen in your whole life. You have heard that everything is bigger in America but you didn’t expect it to be this big. Her hands looked too small to even grab her boobs properly as her boobs engulfed her slim fingers. You thrust your cock faster on her as seeing violet’s grope her boobs turns you on even more. Your thrust is now deeper and faster. With each thrust making a wet sound.

Violet can’t take it anymore, she removes her face away from your girlfriend to finally watch you cock plunging in and out on your girlfriend. She removes her top, revealing her big nipples and her bikini bottoms to give you a sight of her own wet slit. The woman grabs her boob on one hand and inserts two fingers on her slit as she continues to watch you Jihyo. The two women laying in the bed are watching you as your girlfriend is also looking at how your cock disappears and reappears in her slit. Your girlfriend arch her back again as she’s near her second orgasm. Hold her now by the waist as you thrust your cock even harder on her slit. Violet fingering herself faster as all of you watched her orgasm again. Violet takes your place as she goes to her wet slit to slurp her wet juices. Violet knows what she’s doing when her ass is up near the edge of the bed. You take this as a cue to stand up and position yourself on her backside. You give her massive ass a slap before your tip touches her slit. Massive maybe an understatement on how big her ass really is. Your hands are roaming on her massive ass, trying to make sense how big it really is. They look firm yet soft, grope her ass on all angles as you’re amazed at the sheer size of it.

You aligned your cock again to finally enter her slit, her walls are warm as both of you moan with your cock now inside her. This was the first time you felt another woman’s inside after starting a relationship with Jihyo. You pull your cock slowly, taking your time to feel your cock, moving against her inside walls. You thrust your cock deep in her again which put her mouth deeper on your girlfriend’s slit, she is now eating your Jihyo out. Jihyo’s eyes are closed as she’s still high off her orgasm. You thrust deep in her again, the sight of her massive ass waves up with every thrust. This made you continue thrust deep in her just to see her ass waves up again. Violet moans loud as she feels you're already going fast. You can’t help to fuck her faster as the way her ass move is hypnotizing. Violet continues to eat her out, your girlfriend's hands are pulling her hair as Violet’s tongue found her clit. You grab her while hips to fuck her even faster. You know that you're going too fast that you might cum too early but you don’t care. This woman’s body is made to be fuck like slut, and fuck her you did. Loud sound of flesh meeting echoes on all corners of the room as your hips collide on her massive ass harder with every thrust.

Your cock is twitching hard inside her, she feels this too as she climbs off the bed to kneel and have her face in front of your cock, waiting for your hot cum to go in her face. She didn’t need to wait long as you shot loads of cum on her face. Jihyo saw the two of you in that position and wants to join in. She kneels beside Violet as she licks the cum on her face before sharing your cum while making out infront of you. This sight made you harder in an instant, which they noticed. The two girls paused for a moment to look at you before they went to share your cock with each other.

[endereies]

TAKE A SICK DAY - CS

No Nut November - Day 22

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ Chris looks after you when you are sick

Begrudgingly, you listened to Chris. The last week had you coughing and borderline throwing up most mornings. You felt every cell in your body vibrate as you moved, causing feelings on your body to linger. Chris knew something was wrong when your headaches started to last longer than usual. Medication didn’t make it go away.  

So, against your will, Chris called in sick to your job while you were asleep and turned off your alarms. The previous night, you had gotten worse, throwing up at 4 in the morning. You didn’t ‘wake’ him up to assist you, he did that himself. It was as if he could tell you were no longer beside him. 

You were stubborn and never took sick days unless it was an emergency. But after seeing you deny how you feel, he needed to step in. 

“Baby..? What time is it?” the light had begun to seep in the windows and as you sat on your elbows, your head pulsed. 

“it’s noon. And you’re staying where you are.” You immediately jolted up once you heard the time, being forced awake by his voice. 

“What! Chris, I have work!” He placed his grip on your shoulders, pushing you back with ease. “I’ve called in sick, I heard you throwing up your guts last night. You have been ill for over a week, please...take a sick day and take care of yourself.” 

You looked down at yourself, trying to convince yourself that you were fine. That was until the coughing started again. The chesty cough making your head pulse harder said all it needed to.  

“Fine.”  

He smiled gently and leant over to open a drawer, pulling out some medication and a bottle of water. “Here, you have that, I’ll get some food ordered. What do you want, baby?” 

You pondered while you took down the medication in one go, leaning towards a few options. “anything?”  

“Obviously, anything you want, I’ll get for you.” He brought uber eats up on his phone and handed it to you, giving you free will to choose. A few shops had what you had been craving and eventually you added Chicken Alfredo to the order. You had been craving the creamy pasta for two weeks and when you finally bought the ingredients, you fell ill, having no energy to make it. 

“Chicken Alfredo? No soup or anything?” A small nod answered his question. 

“I’ve been craving that for too long to pass it up.” He chuckled, placing his own order in before placing his phone by his side. 

“C’mere baby” His arms were held open, a perfect gap by his side for your body to lie in. Slowly, you grabbed your water and shuffled towards him, his body feeling like a hot water bottle in comparison to yourself. His arm rubbed up and down your back, tracing soothing patterns across your spine. You weren’t going to admit it, but this is what you had been craving the last few days. A soft sigh past your lips as you nuzzled further into his chest. 

You felt the vibrations of his laugh and the tilt of his body as he leant down to kiss your cheek. “Chris...I’m sick, you’re gonna get ill too..” 

“Baby. You’ve been ill the last week, I’ve been doing this while you sleep anyway, does it look like I give a fuck?” His lips then fell to yours, silencing any protests you had. 

“Just rest now..” 

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03 @slutf4rmatt @spaghetti835928383 @flouvela

© ENDEREIES 2024

[sasahuaa]

Leona Kingscholar as an omega

GN reader; sfw (kind of? subspace is not meant to be smutty but can be perceived as foreplay depending on the reader’s wants); word count: 2601; tw: inferiority complex, possessiveness

Sunset Savanna is a very inclusive and progressive land in terms of gender, women are held in high standard and the same is with omegas, it's considered normal to have kings that are alphas, betas or omegas. So Leona was always comfortable in his own skin, his nation never made him doubt himself in his second gender, and if he heard someone in NRC with conservative ideas about gender roles he would just scoff and roll his eyes.

Perhaps, in the middle of the night when his instincts are alert, his mind would conjure a memory of some nobody saying that alphas are born to be leaders. Maybe he was disqualified from birth, never meant to surpass Falena?

Still, he wouldn't entertain such nonsense, Sunset Savanna is what matters the most, and no omega is looked down there. So there's nothing wrong with him, it couldn't be! Right?

At least he hopes so, his signature spell already is dangerous, one that Leona avoids showing to others because of the fear it brings. He can't have anything more, anything that is an intrinsic part of himself, to be unfit.

Courting

Leona's first impression of you wasn't all that positive, to say that it was memorable would be pushing it. He really didn't pay attention (nor cared enough) to the entrance ceremony, honestly, the most exciting part was a fire cat causing terror to the other housewardens and newbies.

To him, your first encounter was in the botanical garden, an inconsiderate alpha stepping on him. Leona is still an omega that came from royalty, despite being lazy, he looks after his appearance, idiotic alpha, not only being a cause of a slight pain and annoyance, you also messed with the fur of his tail.

Leona may not be as prissy about his looks as Vil, but he is proud of image.

Like an annoying bug, this alpha was determined to destroy his plans for the upcoming spelldrive tournament. And they did, begrudgingly gaining his respect.

Spending time with you while Ramshackle dorm was being used as a collateral by Azul wasn't as bothersome as he expected. In the short time that you spent together he became fond of you, of your strength, wit and kindness. Leona enjoyed the conversations and playing with you, releasing a sounding purr with his words when he won against you or you did something that he approved of.

The lion beastman, above all, adored to lay on his bed and just observe you moving across his room, organizing his desk and cleaning, he admired your form from afar, averting his gaze just in time for you to not catch him, he enjoyed your form, Leona admitted to himself this, but he wasn't ready to let you in this secret of his. He hoped you liked his too.

Leona's room smelled of you both, the scents minging with each other in a delicious combination that almost made him crawl against his walls. He considered more than one time to just kick Grim out so the smoke smell of the little nuisance wouldn't sully it.

Weeks later, periods without your constant presence made him miss you more and more, and the scary realization that maybe what he feels for this diligent alpha wasn't just physical. He doesn't know what that means, he never fell in love before, and contact besides casual intimacy was unknown to him.

His experience comes from the occasional heat partners, usually beastmen that help him through his painful heats and he never talks with again later on, people he will never miss. He expected to be the same thing with you, ask for assistance and his weird obsession with you would disappear.

But had he ever felt this way before for any of his fleeting encounters? The emptiness when you are not with him, the clammy hands and fuzzy feelings when you are nearby, the need to claim and never let others touch you?

After the realization dawned on him, he avoided you for a few days. He is good at reading people, he is aware that you are the perfect mate for him. You never treated him as a second thought, held him in high regard, and dare he say, enjoyed his company as much as he is delighted by yours.

“You are compassionate and caring, Leona, did you know that?” your words did not leave his head during his isolation span. Leona never expected to meet someone that read through him, that could see right behind the thorns and thistles of his being, and reach a pure part of him that Leona didn't know existed.

You said you admired how he cared for his dorm, his dedication to guide pups like Jack and Epel and offer words of guidance or protection, in the guise that it was his duty as a housewarden. He was… happy that you saw him this way, the tenderness of such unfamiliar to him, but welcome.

With his mind made up, he ordered Ruggie to bring you to the botanical gardens, returning to his routine with you when you have free time to spend with him. Leona may be lazy, but he puts effort in the things he is passionate about, and he is very passionate about you.

You may not notice you are courting, he never brought it up, amused to the time you eventually will figure it out. He seeks time with you and sometimes follows you around the school when you are busy with your duties, he buys you food, brings you to his room (though most is with the excuse that you need to clean it for him) and slowly blinks in your direction, isn't that obvious enough?

Beastmen omegas are in control of the relationship, the alphas can’t do anything without their permission, so he orders you to give him time and affection, trapping your body beneath him for cuddles, and if you deny something to him? Be prepared to deal with a frustrated omega. He will relent if he asks something that is a boundary to you, not wanting you to be uncomfortable, he does respect you, after all, but if you are denying him to give attention to something else bothers him to no end.

Be it from him asking, or his dorm mates' admiration of him, some Savanaclaw student is always around you, to lend you protection or to report what you are doing to him. If they see someone bothering you, this is dealt with swiftly, if you want something, Leona makes sure to attend to your needs (within reason).

He would flaunt his neck and shoulders, turning his back towards you, feeling whole if you take this as an invitation to bury your face in his body. He hopes that you know what that means, you just accepted his courting, and he anticipates that his alpha will stay with him.

Growling

To hear Leona growling is not unusual, he is bothered easily and growls whenever someone gives him a task he doesn't want to complete or orders him around.

There was a time when he used to hold back his growls, when he still had hope of becoming king and for people to see that he was the better option. As a member of royalty, he knew how to play nice. but since the realization that for them he would always be second, he stopped holding back.

His homeland became suffocating since Cheka's birth, farthering him away from the throne even more. Attending NRC was his way of escaping his family, and despite him being less stressed than before, he can't say this place is perfect.

Towards you, he growls if you try to run from him, he asked for your time in the botanical garden and he expects for you to accept, and he will continue growling until he deems you gave him sufficient attention.

Leona releases guttural noises specially if he believes someone is stealing from him what is rightfully his. Despite being a prince, he doesn't have plentiful that he could call just his, he may be gifted in athletics, but Malleus is better, he is smart and has a sense of leadership, but his subjects would always choose Falena, material things can be owned by anyone with money, recognition is what really matters to him.

So Leona is ferocious if he finds another omega trying to seduce his alpha. But most of all, he expects you to reject them, to always choose him and reassure he is the only one on your mind.

Purring

Leona purrs loudly, though he is very private about them, only the people that have his favor are privy to this sound.

If he is feeling secure in your relationship, his purr hardly stops when you both are alone. His favorite times are when you are on his bed and he is laying on top of you, his vibrations traveling from his body to yours.

When he is playing chess, the match is exciting, forcing him to think deeply about his next moves. And if you don't know how to play chess, worry not, he will play with you until you learn it. His purrs are enough motivation for you to master chess.

Leona adores physical proximity, let him lay his head on your lap, his ears will twitch in invite, wanting your hands on his hair to caress his strands or to scratch behind his ears. Cup his face on your hands, he will smirk and rub his cheeks on your palms.

Look in his eyes while doing that, tell him you love him, his purrs will become louder than a machine.

Nesting

Leona's nest is not very organized, filled with expensive blankets and pillows, a soft mattress is the base. His nest contains color tones of brown, yellow and gray, most materials have the same texture and the pillows are large so he can hug them with his whole body.

He tucked his nest in a corner, he doesn't often use a privacy screen, but he does put it on when he is feeling vulnerable and in need to hide from the rest of the world.

Leona invites you to his nest very early in the courtship, he is sure that you are his future, so the wait isn't worth it when he could have his alpha in his safe space sooner, you would enter it in the future anyway.

The lion beastman makes you scent all his materials, since you did that, he spends even more time in his nest, especially when he is missing you. In the times he goes to Ramshackle he always comes back with an article of yours, and trades with another when your smell fades away, he is also careful when choosing his new piece, he couldn't let you without your essential items.

Sometimes, Leona would wait until your classes finished so he could whisk you away to his nest. If he is in the room with you, you don't need to ask for permission to enter it, but you do need permission to leave. Anytime you try to leave, to go to the bathroom or because you need to go home, he would bite behind your neck and pull you inside again.

“Oi, who gave you permission?” He would snarl with a low growl, his alpha must coax him gently, little persuasive words, being open to receive scenting and caresses to his neck and shoulders, all that combined and Leona might be convinced.

He just checked behind your neck before you were able to go, his bite apparent for everyone to see, it wasn't a mating mark yet, but for now, it was good enough for any of your other potential suitors to avoid approaching you.

Marking

You would be drenched in Leona's scent, the other students smell more of him on you than your own scent, to the point that some people think that the Savanaclaw housewarden is passing by even when you are alone.

Leona gets smug when he sees others averting their gazes from you, for everyone to perceive your place by his side.

Besides the omega scenting you to announce his claim, it's also for his comfort and reassurance. He is scared of you leaving him, of becoming a second choice for you too.

Smelling himself on you soothes his troubled mind, you are still by his side, you still haven't stirred away, he is still your beloved, his scent is proof of that. The scenting procedure is relaxing to him, to have you in his arms while he nuzzles your head, down to your neck and collarbones, reaching more parts of your body with his wrists’ glands. In moments like this he is assured of one fact, you are his.

Subspace

Although Leona isn't insecure about his second gender, it's a rare occurrence for him to enter subspace, compared to other omegas he has a more domineering personality, and he likes to have the upper hand with his alpha too. But he also likes to concede control from time to time.

Biting and licking his neck, shoulders and back are the way to bring him to cloud nine. Leona's body immediately relaxes and becomes pliant, his tail flicks up in a show of his excitement.

His purrs are unstoppable in this state, and quite lower compared to his usual tone. Any attempts to take your mouth away from him are met with a vicious hiss and nails digging on your back.

This is the only hard rule that he will impose in moments like this, don't leave. Otherwise, Leona would let you do anything when he is like this, his omega brain only demanding attention from his alpha, and he is pleased to provide.

☽ ☼ ☾

There's a gentle breeze in the air, but the ambient is too warm. It's weird, Leona is used to Savanaclaw's temperature, however, lately his instincts are haywire. Ever since he came to terms with his feelings for that alpha he has been feeling overwhelmed.

It's too hot, too suffocating. How long has passed since he started to avoid you? He is sure it's just a few days, and yet, his heart feels far too cold in displeasure. It was cozy when he was with you.

Leona wants to snarl at himself, he couldn't believe he is infatuated by someone. But it had to be you, you have been his only exception for many things, so he isn't surprised he caught feelings, even when he never thought he was capable of such pure tenderness.

He isn't elated, though. He knows you have a liking towards him, but is it romantic? Besides him, you spend time with many others, would you put him in second place too? He couldn't imagine you being so cruel, not after the many conversations you had, not after you saw good in him, even after you witnessed the worst in him.

If you did prioritize someone else…

Leona can't even fathom the thought, he could feel the flames of jealousy burning his stomach and his heart shrinking at the image of you holding a no face in your arms.

No, this can't happen, he refuses. The most shameful kind of loser is the type that doesn't even try. If he is doomed, if he is destined to never be the first choice, at least he will trail this path with dignity, he will go down at his own accord.

But Leona doesn't know if he could take another heartbreak, so please, choose him.

[estellardreams]

[Demon King Red AU belongs to @purble-turble] (Lore ramble incoming below)

Okay so... This idea kept circling around in my head and I finally decided to draw it.

Before the question on Lady Bone Demon on the DKR AU, I was always curious on what could've happened if she was ever released.

... At least I'm glad she wasn't. Because if she was then it would've horrifically backfired very quickly.

Taking place mid-season 2 in the timeline, Lady Bone Demon is eventually released by Spider Queen due to discovering the digging site. One thing led to another, she got the key, and released her. Cue the og possessed DBK fight being replaced with a possessed spider queen fight.

This would last for the finale of season one and the opening season two special in terms of time. Once that crashes, LBD retreats into Bai He, infiltrating King Red's council as assistance to return his darling to him.

Now, her main goal at the moment is to grow strong enough to destroy her biggest threats. She assumed King Red wouldn't be a problem.

She was so, so wrong.

King Red was unlike anything she was expecting. Arrogant, paranoid, obsessive, and extremely intelligent. She couldn't even sneak around without cameras glaring her down. Not to mention her and Macaque getting increasingly aggressive with each other over "this bastard put me into this mess" (aka Macaque sided with Red for, one; Wukong and two; to avoid LBD's deal. And LBD for needing to go through the trouble of getting released (even if it was by chance) and jumping between bodies in an attempt to find her perfect match) type of dynamic.

But once LBD regained enough of her power and helped Red "achieve" his destiny of getting his darling MK back, she turns on him.

As the two fight, she begins to take in some of his power, growing stronger by the sheer fierceness of the fire. Her form stabilized rapidly and just as she was able to physically remain out of Bai He's body, the two strike at the same time...

Causing a cataclysmic soul fusion. Macaque rushes to rescue Bai He and brings her out of harms way, hiding from the smoldering figure.

There's no more King or Lady. A new being remained.

And they were even worse than anyone could've anticipated.

So yeah... Mini plot aside on this hypothetical they can control both fire and ice. Though the fire is now blue and the ice is extremely cold. They're two extremes fighting for balance with their only anchor being to shape the world into an image they desire.

Although LBD isn't fond of MK, Red absolutely is and that part overpowers hers, making them absolutely obsessing over their love. To the point that once they got him back, he was locked up in a room of nearly impenetrable ice for his safety. The space is well hidden in the fortress that many rescue attempts have failed because of it.

And Macaque, oh Macaque... His plan backfired in the worst way because not only was he now FORCED to work for his new ruler, but also anytime he tried to escape or step out of line he'd get punished severely. With Red's half being okay with using physical force (though preferring technology to subdue) and LBD holding seething anger towards the shadow monkey for abandoning her, you get a recipe for pretty severe physical abuse. Think of broken bones, frostbite and second degree burns.

And then you got everyone else, who were all forced to evacuate lest they get swallowed up by the raging blue fires and ice spikes taking over the city. After all, you gotta destroy everything to start over, right?

Which leaves us with this turnout: Megapolis and many surrounding lands have become uninhabitable, both MK and Macaque are tortured in the fortress, and there's an extremely powerful soul fusion of two demonic figures with their worst traits amplified and bouncing off of each other.

The Monkie Kids are mainly hiding out wherever possible, most of the time at Flower Fruit Mountain in an attempt to avoid the carnage. Now, their only hope is to find the samadhi fire to vanquish the Lady Bone Demon from King Red... Then, they gotta deal with the other problem.

Not a perfect plan, but it'll hopefully work out, right?

[Edit: Okay I think I'll just call this the Charcoal Bone King AU it's got a nice ring to it anyway]

[all54321]

Wildcards!

Session 1: Shifting shrinks you, jumping grows you

Session 2: Constant Hunger III. You can eat everything, but food restores no hunger (instead increasing the hunger potion effect), and each item gives a different effect. It changed twice more during the session.

Session 3: Immortal snails. Everyone has an immortal snail that chases them down, it can mine, fly, teleport, and it speeds up when further away. Nothing can stop it. (It can also rebound TNT, and it drowns the player if it is drowning itself)

Session 4: Time starts moving extremely slowly then speeds up over the session to being extremely fast.

Session 5: Robots parachute in from the sky to a random player to give them a life series related trivia question. Answering the question right rewards them positive potion effects, weapons, useful items, etc. Answering them wrong results in consequences like making their voice not understandable, the snail returns, they get negative potion effects, etc.

Session 6: All mobs get killed and replaced with a random mob every so often. An increasing amount of passive mobs spawn before as well to increase the overall effect. The mobs can be anything from cows/sheep/pigs all the way to a warden. Evokers no longer drop totems of undying, but wardens do.

Deaths From The Wildcard

Session 1: 1 Death

Session 2: 6 Deaths + 1 Assist

Session 3: 27 Deaths

Session 4: 0 Deaths

Session 5: 5 Deaths

Session 6: 4 Deaths

[strangenewwords]

omg some job listings:

"Not locked into just working 9-5 and embraces an "until it gets done" attitude."

as someone who used to pull 65-80+ hr work weeks in corporate America, never ever ever ever ever apply for a job that says this.

it means they don't value your life. and that pretty salary? it gets really small when you add up the hours.

[hajihiko]

yeah that!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[welcometogrouchland]

Pacing back and forth rapidly rambling to my parents like a mad man trying to figure out whether or not I experienced sexism at film school today or if these guys are just assholes in a different way

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

People sure do be testing my patience today. 

[allylikethecat]

I am obsessed with All The King's Horses!! It's so good, I love equestrian!George and Matty so much and I can't wait to meet fictional!Matty's mare! He also sounds like the greatest instructor for little kids ever--I'm out here wishing fictional!Matty would have taught me how to ride when I was a kid because no one was that nice to me.

AHHH Thank you so much for sending this ask!! I am also obsessed with All the King's Horses! It's currently my favorite fic that I am working on, I'm like a little kid, smiling the entire time that I'm working on it. I know it's a super niche AU as well, so I'm extra grateful that you've given it a chance!!

I am also SO EXCITED for everyone to meet Fictional!Matty's mare... she is not *my* type of horse in the slightest, but I think she's going to make perfect sense for his character and he loves her so much oh my gosh 🥹

We all need Fictional!Matty to be our trainer! He's so kind, and patient, but will push when he needs to! However, his trainer (who was also his mother 💀) was NOT nice to him AT ALL when he was growing up and he may or may not hold onto some of that trauma... 👀

Thank you so much for not only taking the time to read All the King's Horses but to also send me this lovely ask! I am seriously smiling so much right now, and it was so lovely to see after my own less than stellar ride today. I hope you had a very happy Friday and that you have the most wonderful weekend!

❤️Ally

[anonymousdandelion]

A general tip for students who are sending those dreaded Religious Absence Emails to your professors: Rather than asking permission to take the day(s) off, politely let them know that you will be taking the day(s) off.

In other words, consider not saying this:

"May I miss class on [date] so I can observe [holiday]?"

It's not that there's anything wrong with the above, per se. But because it's phrased as a request, it risks coming across as optional — a favor you hope to be granted. Problem is, favors are not owed, and so unfortunately asking permission opens the door for the professor to respond "Thanks for asking. No, you may not. :)"

Instead, try something along the lines of:

"I will need to miss class on [date] because I will be observing [holiday]. I wanted to let you know of this conflict now, and to ask your assistance in making arrangements for making up whatever material I may miss as a result of this absence."

This is pretty formal language (naturally, you can and should tweak it to sound more like your voice). But the important piece is that, while still being respectful, it shifts the focus of the discussion so that the question becomes not "Is it okay for me to observe my religion?", but rather, "How can we best accommodate my observance?"

Because the first question should not be up for debate: freedom of religion is a right, not a favor. And the second question is the subject you need to discuss.

(Ideally, do this after you've looked up your school's policy on religious absences, so you know what you're working within and that religious discrimination is illegal. Just in case your professor forgot.)

[affableramen]

no nut november day 1. how to make them come for the really horny darlings who read my smol insignificant blog :)

crack, smut, established relationships mature themes, minors dni

Wriothesley:

he loves when you choke him really well. he goes crazy once your hands start squeezing his neck

grabbing or scratching his butt. Wriothesley loves when you touch his rounded ass, and if you do he will definitely lose it

Tartaglia:

when you moan loudly, tartaglia loses his mind. he loves when you vocalise your sensations and satisfaction

praising him. tartaglia is not very experienced in bed activities, so he’d be really grateful if you kept praising him while having sex cause it makes him feel encouraged to proceed.

Neuvillette:

being on your knees for him (he does not expect that from anyone because he is such a humble individual, and it turns him on almost instantly)

when you take charge and offer him to have sex by your initiative. do not get me wrong, neuvillette is anything but submissive man, however even he gets tired of being constantly the controlling one. he wants you to be bold and shameless too

Pantalone:

when you play with, pull or grip his hair, it makes pantalone go insane. he is very sensitive to your touch in general, and he especially loves it when you try to tease him by playing with his wavy locks. he will be turned on immensely

when you touch his nipples (his erogenous zone. rub them nice and well, he will cum hard, mumbling “have mercy on me” to you)

Ayato:

dirty talking to him (praising his cock mostly) he loves his sex a bit dirty and overstimulating

when you slightly dominate him. this man is fed and sick of people constantly servicing him and seeing his s/o showing responsibility and taking a bold action like riding him will make him nut wildly

Capitano:

squeezing him inside. his manhood is thick, and the tip is fat enough to make him feel things when you suddenly tense up. capitano will give in to his passion, you will hear loud impatient grunting escaping his mouth that you never knew you needed

when you call him by his real name. in most circumstances capitano hates it when someone mentions his true old name, but when you do it during intimate moments he simply goes nuts for you. the way his name falls from your lips when he thrusts into you fast and hard enough just gets him going

Alhaitham:

he adores when you scratch his back. you always fear hurting him, but alhaitham wears your marks proudly and insists on you to not hold your passion in. he needs more of those blooming red marks of lust on his body

when you assist his thrusts by forcing your hips closer to him. he enjoys when you participate in love making equally to him, and will definitely cum unexpectedly generously if you continue

Dottore:

when you play by his rules. dottore is a very old and assertive man who’s used to things happen his way. at first he will kindly ask you to follow his lead but later on he will be incredibly blunt and dominant with you

when you use his vibrator on himself. not to mention him liking impressing you with new toys, when you grab one and press it against his skin, he will squirt his release earlier and thicker than expected

Dainsleif:

when you moan or whisper sweet nothings into his ear. this makes him particularly horny, especially given how much your voice turns him on in a private setting

when you try to unnoticeably run your hands over his hips. there is something about your claws grazing over his strong legs that makes him go completely frenzied for you

Baizhu:

when you bite his ears and neck. baizhu has those very sensitive and he will come almost instantly if you tease the delicious earlobes and neck of his.

when you wear sexy outfits. he likes to take you when you’re wearing those naughty, revealing but incredibly gorgeous outfits. he practically loses control of his arousal and can come even prematurely simply because he is staring at your beautiful body

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[joelsgu4tar]

JOEL MILLER FIC RECS

⇾ 18+ minors DNI, read at your own risk! ⇽

an appreciation to all my favourite writers out there you deserve all the love <3

Series

— Something To Fight For by @auteurdelabre | After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever...

— I Know Who You Are by @punkshort | A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long-term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.

— The One You Need by @loliwrites | When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at arm’s length, your neighbour Joel finds his way into your life.

— By The Grit Of Sandpaper by @penvisions | An offhand comment from you inspires Joel to branch out and create helpful kitchen wares. And it seems everyone has been gifted one from him, except for you. It makes you rethink the casual friendship you had developed...

— I Wanna Be Your Lover by @shellshocklove | Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor, you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?

— If The Door Wasn't Shut by @heartpascal | months of travelling with Joel and Ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.

— Stay In Bed by @psychedelic-ink | After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance.

— That's A Real Fucking Legacy by @wyn-n-tonic | When Tommy disappears in search of a better life with a promise to come back for you, his years of absence and the grief it leaves behind drives you and his brother closer together until the man you're sharing a bed and starting a family with is Joel Miller and not the one you always thought it would be.

One-Shots

— No Time To Die by @davosmymaster | The main difficulty of being Joel’s closest friend is not falling in love with him, but you still do. Those feelings are buried until you join him on a mission to trade supplies with Bill and Frank. With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.

— White Lies by @poeticpascal | Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.

— Saying Thanks by @vivwritescrappythings | Joel is your grumpy patrol partner who doesn’t even talk to you in the streets of Jackson. But one night a man grabs your arm at the Tipsy Bison, and Joel’s decided he doesn’t like it.

— Soft & Sweet by @cavillscurls | You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.

— Who We Are by @gracieheartspedro | Being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in eventually.

— Warm Me Up by @tightjeansjavi | While on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.

— Love In the Time Of Cordyceps by @sameheart-sameblood | When the world ends, you promise you'll never love again. Joel Miller makes that rule hard to stick to.

— Puppy Love by @absurdthirst | You always follow Joel Miller around, you've got his back. You're in love with him. Putting up with Tess's nickname of puppy dog, you don't realize that Joel feels for you until the end.

— Light The Flame by @yeollie-plz | Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?

— Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts | Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.

— Make A Move On Me by @freelancearsonist | You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodelling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.

— Fire Walk by @motherofagony | A chance encounter at a motel has you crossing paths with a stranger in a blue t-shirt.

— Cry Baby by @psychedelic-ink | bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in Jackson. As the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of Joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.

[fingertipsmp3]

Why am I a dumbaaaaaass who doesn’t understand how anything works :(