#not that i have written a lot lately but
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#sketchbook#acrylic painting#painting#colour pencil#eldritch angel#i forget to give them their wings a lot#because there's twelve wings with#when i chose#a decent amount of lineart#couldn't be bothered here as you see#it is late. i just woke up. and i am going to spend an hour or two watching a pretty man do sexy gun violence. good night#illustration#artists on tumblr#my art#this one looks particularly awkward in a way i enjoy#they are mysterious seemingly all powerful transdimentional beings but because they are written by me they also have social anxiety
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Hawkeye and Frank are the two most diametrically opposed characters on Mash. They clash politically, ideologically, emotionally, intellectually, and even physically on more than one occasion. There is virtually nothing they agree on. But they do have one significant similarity: both Hawkeye and Frank are notably, pointedly effeminate.
Hawkeye is the central protagonist, so he's written to be likeable, even admirable, especially in the first five seasons of the show when satire dominated rather than character drama. He's the character who makes the correct political points and voices the show's ideology, and male audience members are encouraged to identify with him and aspire to be like him. He's witty, he's smart, he's charismatic, he dodges consequences a lot, he's highly skilled in his work, and he has a strong personality and natural leadership qualities.
Frank is the main antagonist up until the end of season five. He's written for audiences to hate him, mock him, and occasionally be horrified by him. He's dull-witted, incompetent, awkward, easily led and manipulated, and always gets his comeuppance. Few audience members are likely to aspire to be more like Frank Burns.
And yet, while most likeable protagonist/detestable antagonist duos in American popular media would also be differentiated in terms of gender performance as a matter of course - the effeminate villain being a standard stock character, always set against a ruggedly masculine hero - Mash takes a different approach.
From his core personality as a sniveling, weak-willed follower, to the way other characters, including Hawkeye, routinely make fun of him by comparing him to a woman or insinuating that he's gay, Frank Burns certainly fits the part of weak, emasculated villain. What's more interesting, and much less commonly seen in Hollywood media, is that Hawkeye is portrayed as just as unmanly, and just as, if not more prone to having it pointed out in the show.
Often Hawkeye's jokes at Frank's expense include the implication that Hawkeye is attracted to him himself, and not necessarily as "the man." He jokes, "Guess it's a marriage, Frank. I know I can do better, but at my age, can I wait?" in Hawkeye, Get Your Gun; he switches from calling Frank one of his vampire brides to taking the feminine part in post-coital pillow talk after siphoning his blood in Germ Warfare; he kisses or tells Frank to kiss him in Major Fred C. Dobbs, For the Good of the Outfit, and Bulletin Board, etc.
Other times, the jokes Hawkeye makes about himself are virtually identical to the jokes made at Frank's expense - their respective attractions to Margaret as a potentially dominant sexual partner, eg, with both Frank and Hawkeye portrayed as eagerly submissive. For instance, in 5 O'Clock Charlie Hawkeye jokes about tying Frank to Margaret's tent, then dismisses the thought with, "He'd probably love it. I know I would." And Hawkeye/Trapper and Frank/Margaret are sometimes paralleled as dual couples, Hawkeye and Frank usually being framed as the more feminine partner in each.
And of course, unconnected to Frank, there are many, many more examples of Hawkeye's effeminacy, both in jokes and in personality traits.
Hawkeye is a self-professed coward who is loud and proud about how terrified he is to be stuck in a war zone. He's emotionally open and highly empathetic, always willing to listen to others' problems and discuss (or scream about) his own. He abhors institutional violence and faces every enemy combatant with his hands firmly in the air. When authority is thrust upon him he strives to relinquish it, and uses it as little as possible.
More shallowly, he has little interest in sports and exercise, derides masculine hobby magazines like Field and Stream and Popular Mechanics, is incapable of performing mechanical tasks to the exasperation of others at least four times (Comrades in Arms which explicitly frames this emasculating, In Love and War, Patent 4077, and Hey, Look Me Over), mocks traditional masculinity in many ways, and enjoys musical theatre and Hollywood gossip. And he makes and takes literally hundreds of jokes about being unmanly and having sex with men himself, many more than he makes at Frank's expense.
But while the jokes are at Frank's expense and meant to belittle him, they're rarely made at Hawkeye's expense, especially in the first five seasons. Hawkeye doesn't make the jokes out of self-deprecation, he makes them out of pride and a desire to differentiate himself from the army men he's surrounded by. He's almost always in on the jokes others make about him, rather than offended - Potter telling him to file a paternity suit against his rival in Hepatitis makes him laugh delightedly, and Trapper's remarks on his effeminacy, such as Miz Hawkeye in Hot Lips and Empty Arms, are sometimes lightly teasing but always a regular aspect of their dynamic that Hawkeye enjoys playing up. Frank doesn't make any jokes directly mocking Hawkeye's masculinity that I can recall, beyond vague "pervert" and "degenerate" remarks, which, while often historically homophobic, in the show's context tend to be treated as a reference to his heterosexual endeavours.
Frank's effeminacy is a point of mockery and derision, but Hawkeye's is a point of pride, and not intended to make him any less likeable to an audience. Antagonists don't get to score points off of Hawkeye by mocking his feminine traits, but Hawkeye makes fun of Frank regularly by mocking his feminine traits.
This difference in framing can partially be explained by the nature of their respective gender performances.
While Hawkeye and Frank are both effeminate, they're effeminate in many opposite ways. Frank is weak-willed while Hawkeye is strong-willed. Frank is unappealing to most women, while Hawkeye is something of a lady's man. Frank cannot face his fears to rise to a challenge, but Hawkeye can. But on the flipside, Frank refuses to admit to fear while Hawkeye openly proclaims it. Frank strives to attain authority while Hawkeye refuses it or takes it on only begrudgingly. Frank is obsessed with guns to a freudian extent while one of Hawkeye's most famous monologues of the show is a speech about refusing to carry one. Frank worships the concept of traditional masculinity even while he can't perform it himself, while Hawkeye mocks the concept and would refuse to perform it even if he could.
The Sniper is an excellent case study of these contrasts. In this episode, Hawkeye is effeminate and at ease with it, while Frank is desperate to prove himself masculine. Frank and Margaret flirt with strong Freudian overtones while Frank shoots a gun while nearby Hawkeye flirts with with a nurse with a line about "tasting" her. Hawkeye connects with the nurse he's wooing by relating to how scared she is and huddling in fear with her, while Margaret demands that Frank prove his masculinity by going out and taking down the sniper himself. Frank carries a gun while trying to approach the sniper, while Hawkeye carries a white flag. Frank tries to make fun of Hawkeye for wanting to surrender, but he can't bring himself to approach the sniper while Hawkeye does.
This contrast of gender performance is a consistent aspect of Hawkeye and Frank's dynamic throughout the show, but The Sniper makes it a central theme so it's a useful example to show how their relationships to masculinity are a deliberate aspect of their dynamic.
And while Hawkeye makes fun of Frank's femininity, it's significant that he also regularly makes fun of Frank's masculinity - his love of guns (eg The Sniper), his sexual affairs (eg the exchange about Frank as a "fantastic performer" in Yankee Doodle Doctor), his numerous attempts to exert authority (eg Welcome to Korea), his desire for socially approved success (eg Hot Lips and Empty Arms), etc.
Both masculine and feminine sides of Frank are comprised of negative character traits, while Hawkeye embodies the best of both - emotional expression and healthy ways of coping by talking about his feelings; bravery but not machismo; intelligence and skill as a doctor rather than an officer; empathy and a willingness to listen; sexual prowess but largely through his love of foreplay rather than his dick game (which, in the context of the early 70s, is a somewhat feminine attribute that distinguishes him from a typical traditionally masculine man); etc.
Hawkeye demonstrates some of the most appealing and healthy qualities of both masculinity and femininity while Frank demonstrates, or strives to demonstrate, the more toxic qualities of both. Through including a few positive masculine traits in the mix, the narrative is able to depict Hawkeye as likeable, admirable, and desirable in his effeminacy while Frank is depicted as loathesome in his. Hawkeye gets one of many, many women in The Sniper by showing vulnerability, while Frank only appeals to Margaret, and Margaret is portrayed as borderline pathological in her sexual attraction to violent masculinity (the scene where Frank excites her with his gun, for example, also includes an electra complex joke, and there's a running rape kink gag in this episode as well).
Another aspect to consider when it comes to differentiating Hawkeye and Frank's respective femininities is hypocrisy. Similar to how Frank and Margaret's affair is mocked because they can't admit to it while Hawkeye and Trapper's affairs are glorified, part of what makes Frank's effeminacy so mock-worthy, while Hawkeye's feminine qualities are a source of pride and rebellion, is that Frank refuses to admit to them.
Frank desperately wants to be the ideal heroic army man and often play-acts the part, poorly. When Hawkeye mocks him by calling him a woman, for example, he's drawing attention to Frank's failure to live up to his own ideals. And when Hawkeye calls himself a woman, he's mocking those same ideals. The message is that Frank is pathetic not so much for failing to be traditionally masculine, but for wanting to be traditionally masculine at all.
Ultimately the ways Hawkeye and Frank perform masculinity and femininity are pointedly in opposition, from which masc and fem traits they embody, to how proudly they embody them. The show itself draws attention to these gendered similarities and differences between Frank and Hawkeye through a constant barrage of jokes, and even whole scenes and episodes. In this way the show portrays Frank as a hypocritical loser who wants to be masculine but fails to embody all but the worst traits, and Hawkeye as a cool, admirable guy who disdains the traditional pillars of masculinity and embraces his own effeminacy.
#mash#marley on mash#mash gen#mash gs#frank mash#hawkeye mash#since you guys liked that trapper gender meta a lot more than i thought you would here have another one#though this is written a little less formally lol#i have more examples of whole scenes that make these comparisons than just the sniper but i'm trying to keep this from being#even longer than it already is#but eg white gold is another good example wrt how they relate to flagg; yankee doodle doctor; army navy game; george; the gun; etc etc#(also it's interesting that when frank leaves hawkeye gets the pathetic loser portrayal more often... though i think that's a coincidence#the shift from early to late mash could be yet another essay on mash and gender lol)#long post
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my WIPs are so unorganized but rice is forever, in doodles and Even when coding >:]
#kagoodles#trainer riley#champion lance#stat trainer riley#lance pokemon#fluffyriceshipping#����🍚🌊#hi. if you're wondering how its been. college! lots of preparation for graduation this sem so i'm slow to a lot of updates on things#i'm also learning coding in my spare time;; my code is the messiest thang in the world. but its MY mess#i may or may not post some more original stuff bc i've been needing to work on some for portfolio reasons#but yeah :Tc many thoughts lately;; i have a long list of things to do project wise (personal And professional)#current list of my hashtag funstuff is: gen 4 interpretations (sinnoh trio and kantrio timeskips ohhh man)#remaking my johto quartet aswell to keep em up to date. also to get said timeskips written out + work on a general page for em on neocities#idk craziest thing i have on the list is make a fluffyrice comic. if i'm feeling dastardly and want to go thru short comic hurdles#but that's if i have time. a lot of work I gotta do atm is to build up my professional side but i'll complete that grocery list. hopefully
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god what really gets me about dead boy detectives and what i think i love so much about the show and the relationships in it is that like. the romantic and sexual relationships aren't portrayed as being more unique or important than the platonic relationships. they're all just RELATIONSHIPS.
charles and crystal's attraction to each other and eventual hookup isn't this big end-all be-all relationship that shatter charles and edwin's friendship and draws charles' attention away from edwin; it's just a THING that happens. they're just two people that care about each other and happen to also be attracted to each other, and a hook-up happens, then they decide that neither of them are in the right place for it and it's nothing awful. crystal kisses charles, but it isn't some big spectacle of her declaring her love for him; it's just her saying goodbye and that she cares about him, like her hugs with niko and jenny and her handshake with edwin.
edwin realizes he loves charles romantically and tells him, and charles says he doesn't really love edwin romantically BACK, but it's okay, because they still love each other so much in so many other ways that this one tiny difference could never change them—and it doesn't!! they're still just as close, still care for each other just as much, still SHOW that care for each other just as much. their relationship didn't completely end because edwin loved charles in a way charles couldn't reciprocate, but at the same time it isn't "solved" by edwin getting over it, because there's nothing TO solve. it's just another type of love, added to everything that already exists between them. and they have LITERALLY FOREVER to figure out what it means.
the relationships between edwin & niko, crystal & niko, and crystal & edwin aren't given any less weight for being solely platonic, just as charles & crystal's relationship and edwin's feelings for charles aren't given (that much) MORE weight for being romantic. crystal and charles' conflict in the closet is about EDWIN, about how they're BOTH his friend and BOTH want to get him back; it has very little to do with the feelings between THEM, romantic or otherwise. similarly, the weight of charles' and edwin's relationship isn't diminished in the LEAST by charles not reciprocating the romantic side of his feelings (or SAYING he doesn't reciprocate, at least—we can all argue about the legitimacy of that in the notes).
i'm sure there are more examples than this, as well as probably some examples that CONTRADICT this, but like... by and large, it feels like dead boy detectives is a show where all the relationships are given equal weight regardless of platonic, sexual, romantic, or familial status, and as someone on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums who has struggled time and time again with shows casting out the importance of all other relationships in favor of prioritizing romance, that is INCREDIBLY refreshing to see.
#this might be a lot of run-on sentences and me repeating itself because its 2 am rn (sidenote how the HELL did it get that late last i chec#-ed it was like 11???) but i hope u enjoy anyway 👍#magpie thoughts#dead boy detectives#ik before watching the show i saw a lot of people were annoyed by charles and crystal's relationship and thought it felt forced and like#-they had no romantic chemistry#but honestly. having watched the show. i don't see that at all?#like maybe it's just me being aspec and not getting what ''romantic chemistry'' even IS but like. they were people. they were two fucked up#-people that happened to be attracted to each other and they hooked up when both of them were in low places and agreed to not go any furthe#-after. but beyond all of that they are FRIENDS and they STAY friends and like. they just felt like PEOPLE#the way they were written and the way the actors ACTED IT felt like ten times better to me than the dozens of pinacle romances i've seen in#-other tv shows#(and also i gotta say i love the other CASUALNESS with which sex was mentioned in the early episodes. it wasnt made out to be this big thin#-that only happens when tied to romance; it was just a THING. theyre both hot and in different circumstances they totally would have had se#-about it (and eventually they did but thats besides the point). that's it)#they're people. this is a show full of ghosts and demons and witches and crows-turned-into-boys but they are all fundamentally just PEOPLE#beautiful and fucked up human beings that feel attraction and hurt and fear and love in a million different ways.#AUGH i love this show so much#paineland#payneland#crystal palace#charles rowland#edwin payne#niko sasaki#dead boy detective netflix#dbda
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Sebastian had a few days leave from duty so he visited Eloise😇😇
#im literally OBSESSED with Eloise😩#and this AU😇🙏#they are maybe late 20s/early 30s here I wanted to experiment a bit#anyways I was reading A Little Life at the beach today#and ngl I was tearing up literally ALL the time!!! 😤😤😤#it’s just so beautifully written & I find myself relating so heavily and I get gut punches every few pages where I need to stop reading#and just process it#idk maybe I am sentimental today LOL#It’s just…it’s making me think about the fact that I’ve never really Belonged in any one place and neither have the characters#my mom is the product of Bulgarian/swedish immigrants to the US and my dad is a Spanish pueblo man 😂#and their experiences/culture/languages etc etc have shaped my life soooooooo much🙏#but like at the same time. too reserved to truly fit in with the Spanish but too open/blunt for the midwest#idk it is weird to explain#anyways I just keep moving forward & make my own way🙏🙏🙏#thank you for coming to my free Therapy Session in the hashtags (bc nobody reads these😂😂😂😂)#also if you did & you also read a little life please🙏 or if you want to talk about books in general🙏🙏#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise#oh also this is a recreation of a Porco Rosso scene😇😇🙏🙏#but I changed the colors a LOT & also a bit more when I sketched it up
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this is also not directed at anyone, but what i mentioned in the tags of one of my recent asks - i love love love hearing your ideas and hc's and theories in comments and asks!! however lately there have been a bunch of comments completely unrelated to tyt in the tyt comment section, or comments/asks that are outright telling me what should happen in tyt or phrasing song suggestions/opinions as if they are canon. some of these also vastly misinterpret some things i've said in the fic. and once again i do not mind if y'all want to switch out songs in your playlists, or come up with theories for how the fic is going to go, or even create alternate universes and canon divergences of the fic itself - but PLEASE do not tell me them as if i am now obligated to put them into the fic. this series has consumed me for years and i am very very attached to it and my plans for what will happen! and though i love hearing interpretations of apollo's backstory, or ideas for nico's fanbase, or song suggestions - i would greatly appreciate those to be phrased as what they are: suggestions, hc's, and theories. i am not a machine. i am not writing tyt for your sole entertainment. please do not request things from me as if i am.
#that being said the VAST MAJORITY of asks i receive make me very very glad to have written tyt and to have gotten such a great community for#it!!! seriously i say it a lot but im so grateful for my readers and the huge amount of support i've gotten for this fic and my changing#update schedule and whatnot#it mainly comes down to phrasing and like... basic respect?#just smth i've been noticing an increasing amount of lately#pls do not let this discourage you from sending asks or writing comments#i will honestly just stop responding to the ones that bother me i just wanted to get this out there
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I just read “Loveless” by Alice Oseman as someone who’s aroace and I am. Struggling.
I was expecting to love the book and I’m so, so happy to see aromanticism/asexuality in the public eye, but as far as the story/characters went I was really struggling. Maybe I’m too old for it but I found it… very lackluster. The characters felt deeply one-dimensional and I did not like the protagonist at all.
If any of you have read this book and really enjoyed the characters, I would love to hear more about it. Maybe I’m just missing something. But also if any of you have recommendations for LGBTQA+ media with engaging characters and an engaging story I would love some recommendations.
I also just watched Nimona for the first time and I absolutely adored it. Would absolutely recommend it to anyone.
#cloud rambles#book review#ish? I’ve been reading more lately#I really really really wanted to love this book#and I know a lot of people found it incredibly relatable#and there were a lot of times that I found it relatable too and the relatability of it isn’t really what I’m criticizing#I just didn’t like the characters#outside of being very very happy to see aromanticism and asexuality in the public eye acknowledged as a real identity#I don’t have anything positive to say about this book#and I really really really wish I did#negative review#I have no idea how to tag this#my thoughts line up well with the one-star goodreads reviews written by asexuals/aromanticists
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Just sat down and wrote 1.6k on a random WIP that popped into my head. Without a plan. Or weeks of research. Or even character names.
I haven't even finished my current WIP.
What's wrong with me? Is this how the pantsers amongst you do it? How you you people live?
#please excuse my existential crisis#I've been having them a lot lately#I like to think I'm a methodological person.#I do WIPs one at a time#as it should be#I have a list#a plan#an outline at the very least#I don't just jump in#but I did#and now I have WIP-guilt#because I wanted to finish Mavis' story#but then Lupine and Auggie just sauntered in#and I just wrote the most in one sitting that I've written in a long time#and it didn't even feel like a struggle#is this how my nervous breakdown starts?#talking to myself
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ngl if streams get dry i think qsmpblr should create some initiative where we day by day watch the series over again in order. give it some fuckin stupid ass tag name like "qsmp reverse redux" for proper filtering and tag it all as vodblogging and set ourselves loose on bits of the series that some people may never have had a chance to watch because this series moves SO. GODDAMN FAST. and there's barely ever time for vodwatching.
pick your pov or watch multiple who cares but it has to be in our pocket dimension reverse time day. a qsmp electric boogaloo. idc if we have to make a fucking discord server to keep track of what day we're on or to maybe even coordinate those "watch2gether" youtube tool groups or whatever it was so those who feel inclined to twitch chat can still feel the feeling of being in a live chat except the streamers can't hear you.
i just think it would be fun. and i like liveblogging with y'all. and not everybody was around from day 1, so we can try to give them that. unfortunately we missed the exact one year so it'd be a bit messy but who the fuckkkkk cares :D
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#seriously my biggest ever gripe with this server is it moves too goddamn fast#and that still applies to the fans too sometimes i think we move way too fast#here's our chance to go back through with knowledge of where it's going#and like do it as a community but like nicely because we know how it ends so why get mean the future's already written#oh and by 'how it ends' i mean the story arcs not the server#we don't know the future of the server lmao#i'll probably go back through independently tbh#but part of the fun of the qsmp for me has always been seeing what other people were saying#and i know a lot of people hopped in late or halfway through#yes we will have to work around the former members but that's the business#i still believe in us tbh
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Contrary to popular belief, being a lesbian and being a feminist are not the same thing. I deliberately refer to myself as a lesbian and a feminist—rather than a lesbian feminist—to denote the separation.
I think that most radical feminist works about lesbianism are homophobic to some degree because they posit lesbianism as a political choice, which it is not. Homosexuality might be politicized, but it is an innate and unchangeable characteristic, which makes it inherently apolitical. To me, there is little difference between the claim that being gay is a choice that comes from radical feminists and the one that comes from the religious crowd, in a sense that neither speak to my truth.
I still consider myself a radical feminist because I believe in women's liberation and dismantling male supremacy, and I don't believe in throwing the baby out with the bath water. But I do think that being a lesbian and a radical feminist is sometimes a strange and frustrating experience, and that it's good to talk about it once in a while.
#the context for this post is that I have been reading a lot of radical feminist theory and history lately#and for the most part it's excellent! I love radical feminism#but I really cringe reading some “lesbian” radical feminist perspectives on lesbianism written by women who were absolutely not lesbians#when it comes to lesbianism/homosexuality I depart from radical feminist thought and am more in line with the gay liberation activists#Radical feminists were also not huge fans of Butch/Femme dynamics which I do consider myself a part of#I don't think B/F is necessarily wrong to criticize but I do think radical feminists were missing a lot of context & 1st hand pov#radical feminist#radical feminism#radfem#radblr#radical feminists do interact#radical feminists do touch#lesbian feminism#lesbian feminist#lesbian and feminist
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I had a silly future wansho short story idea once where they're all working in various places n all over the world or smth but it just so happens that one of them, probably rui or nene, message on their groupchat that they'll be going back to shibuya for a longer while for some show or smth in a few weeks, and the rest are like :0!! i will be in japan around that time too!!
(Cut bc long post 😭)
And they find out that they'll be there in a similar time and there's actually some time to meet up or something. Emu is normally in PXL and I imagined nn comes first, rui second, and tks is the one who would arrive the latest bc he's supposed to be in the other further part of japan and can only make a trip to shibuya sometime later
But they all decide that they should meet up all 4 of them once tks can come too and everyone's p excited about it
But since tks comes latest and the rest can come earlier they start plotting that maybe they should surprise him somehow. And what better way than make a show together??
So they secretly start preparing a show and emu specially makes a reservation for the Wonder Stage to be free at the date they know tks will arrive and all
And then when the time is near (thdyrr already tigether n practice it) they tell tks to come meet them at pxl but come disguised (bc he's already recognisable and they "don't want their star to accidentally be stolen by some fans before they can even meet up" or some other excuse) and tks is like ok??? you're robbing the park of my amazing glory and presence but for u I can make an exception bc I also don't want to waste the time we'll have 😌
And so the day is there and he arrives at the park but he can't find anyone so he's like?? Is he too early?? Until probably a drone or smth flies around him and he instantly knows what this is so he follows the drone all the way to the Wonder Stage where he already finds a pretty big and excited crowd and he's like oh is there gonna be a show?? Do they want me to see it with them?? But he doesn't see wxs anywhere even tho he's scanning the crowd
And the drone leads him to the front seats where it turns out there's a special place reserved for him there and not taken and he still csnt see wxs anywhere but he sits down there since that's what rui seems to try to tell him. And then the drone quickly flies off and he's like hey!!! What am I supposed to do now!!! Bc the other seats beside are taken and not reserved, he realises, so where is wxs???
Until soon after there's music amd the sound of the gong signalising starting a show and the crowd goes silent and the curtain goes up and tks looks back at the stage and oh... there they are
Snd i thought it was a show about the moon (rui) and the sun (emu) who talk about a star that used to be with them on the sky until one day it decided it wants to spread its light closer to the people and became a shooting star to fall to earth and walk around it to grant people light and warmth. And the sun n moon admit they kinda miss the star so they want to visit it on Earth. So they contact their friend the sea (nene) who also helped the star land safely and guided him to the people to also help a manifestation of the sun n moon (probably a sun ray n some moon dust or whatever) reach the earth too and help them search for the star
And it shows the various journeys of thr moon, sun and sea who split up to search for the star together (the sea travels through rivers its connected to to visit various places, and also irs the way they keep in contact - by sending messages through the river n nene gets them and gives them to the others bc she can travel fast)
And they cant rly find the star but all 3 do some good and help the people too and also hear about the star and how its light reached and made ppl happy too. Until finally they catch some rumour thay the anniversary of the stars arrival is approaching and it'll be coming back to the shore it landed on foe the occasion, so they all decide to head back there and meet up and search for the star together this time. And they do that and at first they don't find anything and are mayve slowly losing hope (or time? Maybe the moon n sun camt stay too long on earth too)
But then suddenly there's a flash of light amd tks realises that the spotlight is suddenly shining on him in the audience and he looks up at wxs in shock and theyre suddenly looking in his direction and their worried faces are immediately widened by huge smiles and excitement and call oit thay there it is, there is their star! And start calling out to it as if inviting to join them and tks is kind of, still processing the whole story (and also super thrilled that he can see his friends again and getting v emotional with the story and their improvement both) and doesnt rly move so wxs call out to the audience to help the star hear them and the audience starts cheering too and tks finally snaps out of it and quickly takes off some of his disguise or smth (like glasses and hat n mask or something?) and moves to stand up there wxs are, reaching out a hand to him from the stage to help him walk up and he might already be tearing up from all the emotion and they provably hug or something in celebration and they start talking to him abt their experiences (still as the characters) and tks does have to totally adlib this scene but he couldnt be happier to act with wxs again and who is he if not a star who adapts to everything thrown at him with 12,000% so he also plays along with it as the star
Maybe he is also crying tho (and so are probably the others bc they havent met up all in a while and its v wholesome) and they probably expected tks would be like thay so they prepared a little dialogue for this thays like "ah look thr star is crying!" and they do some kind of effect of a meteor shower or wahtever as if the shooting stars are the star's tears (both to kind of make use of the crying to make it more imteresting for the audience and peobably to make fun of tks like "ha bitch we knew ud cry /aff" but theyre happy abt it) or smth idk about this tho
And im not sure how theyd end it but probably something like that the sun and moon soon had to go back to the sky n sea to the water snd the star still wanyed to travel and spread the light but they all agree to meet up once in a while like that and tell their stories n what they experienced or smth
N the performance ends and ofc everyone in the audience is cheering clapping and excited also bc this is the ultimate wxs comeback and many are their fans and this is like a huge thing and all!! Meanwhile wxs behind the curtain share a litle moment where they just hug for real and get excited abt the show amd tks thanks them bc it was wonderful and theure happy hes here too and they are already making plans whay to do next
But they have to go thank their audience still so they lift the curtain again and end with their "thank you all for coming! We are Wonderlands×Showtime!" To the absolute delighted and excited cheer of the audience
And maybe shosuke n keisuke n sakurako came to watch them too so they come up to them and talk a bit but im not sure
Anywya thays just a little idea thats been on my mind for a qhile
#keri rambles#wxs#its just... been revisiting me a lot lately...#i think its cute.... wansho love..... they care sm...#and they love to express that in shows#kinda similar to the tale of the travelling troupe but also not. idk. but theres smth there#jay if u see this n have a thought of “wait this seems familiar” yes that IS why i asked about that rui moon emu sun tks star nene who thing#prsk#tsukasa#rui#nene#emu#i dont rky want to fully maintag since its just a concept and not a written idea or anything so i dont think its like. yk#deaerving full tagging#idk ahdhahhd#anyway *throws this idea at you* have this
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me when i want to accept writing commissions vs the depression thats been eating me inside and out
#i like#offered comms once#but now i have venmo and i know how to use it#but like#if i opened them back up i just#i dont know if id even have the motivation to write anyway#not to just traumadump in the tags lol but everythings felt so difficult lately#i feel so empty and not real#every day i struggle with the intense urge to just delete everything ive ever written#every account i own#and just disappear forever#and like. im not good at making connections with people?#so even though ive spiraled into another pit of isolation ive had one person check on me and it was my bf who i talk to every day anyway#and honestly i think the reason im typing this here even though its very tmi is because like#i just need to get stuff out? because maybe getting stuff out will like#help#but i dont know if it will#i started going back to therapy but i dont even know if thatll help#writing is hard#getting up in the morning is hard#breathing is hard#everything just feels so hard and i feel like i have no energy to do anything ever#and its felt like that for months and months but its getting worse as time goes on#anyway uh#im trying not to take my hiatus until february#but i havent been able to write anything in like two weeks#so maybe i wont be able to keep to my super awesome posting schedule and will instead go back to posting things sporadically as i finishthe#which wasnt often nor paced#and typically the thing that keeps me writing is praise (which is unhealthy ik) but uh. ive not been getting a lot of that so its just like#i dont know. sorry
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Almost back home!!! I’ve been away for two weeks and I haven’t had good internet connection. Looking forward to getting back home.
I’ve been quiet cause of it, so how about a shop/merch update!! The products from my shop have already gone through a round of proofs this last week after I placed the order (as some files had gotten mixed up). I’m hoping the products finish their manufacturing and are shipped to me within this next week or so!
I’ve ordered extras of everything to put up in the shop as “in stock” after I send out my preorders, also ordered a few items as samples. They had a higher MOQ (minimum order quantity) so if they turn out well, I’d like to do a giveaway with some of them!
#I know I’ve been kind of quiet in general lately too apologies for that#gonna be honest and life has been pretty rough lately#general TW I reference death below#two incidents happened a few months ago regarding almost losing brother and losing a cousin to horrible situations#and it’s really been very difficult to deal with and has brought on a lot of haze and mental dullness or inability to focus#and tbh even months later it’s still been very difficult#it’s why I’ve probably come across as closed off or absent these last few months#so just explaining that#I’m still overcoming it but I believe I’m doing better now#I have been unable to mentally pull myself together enough to successfully create any content like fics or art#though I’m trying very hard#it is getting easier too. I have written a lot more on vacation than I’ve mana fed to write in a long time#I still love and appreciate PLA and submas so so much that just hasn’t been able to manifest in content creation lately#but it has manifested in buying merch haha#when I get home I may just show my collection#I am still alive in this fandom#if you’ve read this far thank you#and thank you for sticking around while I’ve been quiet!!
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fics where connor is written as just a strange fucking guy >>>
#heart eyes for weirdo loser connor#i think in 2024 we can all agree that edge lord connor is ooc#the guy wrote his name in Massive letters across a strangers cast#and when he’s written to have the dryest stupidest most uncomfortable sense of humor ever#😍😍😍#like oh yes u get him#like yes he has a sort of bubbling building sort of anger and defensiveness under the surface of his skin#yes he’s always teetering on a sort of emotional ledge yeah#but when ur writing him in a more Safe Comfortable state i don’t want him to be funny and flirty and confident#connor also being written to reflect fragments of evan (i see the computer lab scene as a flashing sign saying#hey!#connor and evan actually have a lot in common!! part of the tragedy of this show and evan’s lie is that they could have been friends! is#that they Are so similar!!)#so yeah connor is weird on an evan level of weird but he’s not Crazy Apologeticly Anxious of everyone’s opinion of him at all times#so he comes off 200 times More off putting than evan#can you tell. i’ve been pondering treebros lately.#connor murphy#deh#ranting in the tags is Hard bc i can’t go back and fix things so they get my point across correctly 🤦♀️#whatev!!
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i, like every other fic author in existence, love getting comments from people who enjoyed my work. i don't care if your comment is "late" (that's so weird to me like it's literature—do you apologize to homer for being late to reading the odyssey?) or "unintelligible" (late night commenters, english language learners, people who feel like they "just aren't that good with words", believe me, i entirely understand what you mean and appreciate it immensely), or anything else that you feel might make your comment 'not good enough'. i love all of the comments i receive and i am eternally grateful to all of you for your continued support.
and yeah, i've read fics where i felt like adding a comment would be doing the fic a disservice because there was nothing that could be said that wouldn't cheapen or patronize the magnum opus i'd just witnessed. in instances like this, that is exactly what i say in the comment: "there's nothing i can say that doesn't do this work of art a disservice. thank you for writing this."
actually, now that i think about it, there are a bunch of ao3 comments i've gotten that i still haven't replied to because i felt any thanks i could give would be inadequate. i should really get around to replying because i want them to know how spellbound they left me. i love you all, have i ever mentioned that?
all of that being said, i would like to make a public service announcement!
at least under default settings, ao3 authors do get notified every time you edit a comment. i've accidentally hit send too early before, or realized i forgot something i wanted to say, i get it, i really do. i have edited many comments in my day.
but you don't have to do this. really, it's okay. most of the time i honestly can't tell what the difference is. i'm not going to think worse of you for having typos in your comments because i guarantee that there were more in the fic you just read sfkljghsl
also these edits were over the course of twenty full minutes. i got another email while writing this post and had to update the image. please do not spend 20 minutes agonizing over your comment and changing the capitalization and adding a few words. it's okay, i promise. i love your comment, and i'm very very grateful for it, regardless of how "polished" it is. i'm not your english teacher in disguise.
tl;dr, i love you all and i hope you don't feel anxiety or a compulsion towards perfectionism in my ao3 comments section. i won't judge you, i promise <3
#squido's op#squido rambles#i hope i don't sound annoyed because i don't want to sound annoyed#but also that was a lot of emails#if they were different comments that would be sick i love that#but on several occasions i've had edit spam#and i don't really understand the logic behind it#i figured that people just don't know that we get notified every time you edit a comment#so that's all i wanted to say really but i got sidetracked with appreciation because i think someone plugged some of my works somewhere#because i've been seeing a big uptick in comments lately and it's really really sweet#i haven't written for this fandom (or at all really) in a long time now so i'm always really really happy to see my works are still#out there and being read and loved and affecting people. i do still plan to finish hfwkadwm i promise#i guess i have writer's block >:/ never had it quite like this before#BUT I SAID I WAS GONNA FINISH IT AND I AM#MARK MY WORDS I'LL FINISH THIS FIC OR DIE TRYING#eventually
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Been thinking about a postgame scenario that goes in a direction I don't think canon would ever take in a million years, but like... I think it could be really compelling...
And that's the idea of Chrom becoming Plegia's king after Grima's defeat. And specifically giving up his claim to Ylisse's throne to do it (leaving it to Lucina when she's old enough).
Because here's the thing... The game ends with Grima's defeat/Robin's return in the sacrifice ending. It doesn't address what happens to Plegia at all, and while I personally maintain that Aversa is the most qualified candidate to rule, her canon ending provides that she goes back to the village she was born in. So, fine. Let's give her that.
But SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING because realistically, Plegia is in dire straits. Validar, the king and the leader of the Grimleal, is dead. He gave, like, ALL of Plegia's resources to the Ylissean League (well, okay, we don't know how much, if any, he left in reserve, but... He really needed Walhart gone and it's not like he had any reason to think that anyone would need resources once Grima was running around, so... chances are good there's little to nothing left in the wake of the averted apocalypse). And the population has been utterly devastated, because not only did people (exactly how many is unclear, but presumably it took more than just a couple) have to sacrifice themselves to renew the fell dragon's power, but Grima was also spawning Grimleal onto their back at the final battle. Their losses are so immense...
So first of all, Chrom is definitely responsible for taking all their resources and setting half of them on fire (Now to be fair, Flavia and Basilio are also responsible, but... Idk, I kinda feel like they'd bicker with each other over who has to do the crappy parts of the job and then agree that they should just ask Chrom if he can do it. Like "Haha, if you didn't want to deal with thieves ambushing the Longfort to steal construction supplies, you shouldn't have gone and beaten me at the last tournament!" "Oh, shut up. Let's see if Chrom can send his thief friend over to talk these guys down. Or kill them, whichever." I mean, Chrom is always going to be their guy who knows a guy.) There's just no way Chrom would abandon the surviving Plegians who need help anyway, but especially not when he knows the war with Valm would've ended before it could begin without them.
Of course, there's the historical hostility between Ylisse and Plegia to consider, but... If anyone's protesting, it's probably the Ylisseans. Because the survivng Plegians, uh... probably were never Grima's most devoted followers in the first place (if you really wanted to give Grima your life, you'd rush to the front of the line at the Dragon's Table, right?) and even if they used to consider themselves true Grimleal, the religion's leadership is destroyed, and—for the purpose of this scenario, I'm considering it post-sacrifice ending—the fell dragon is gone and not coming back. These people narrowly avoided becoming Grima's breakfast or Grima's meat shields. They all almost certainly know someone who wasn't as lucky. And the one who saved them... Well, it was Chrom, wasn't it? Because he believed in humanity enough to challenge the concept of fate, a fate that the people of Plegia were surely taught was inescapable. Despite their history with Ylisse, it's hardly unreasonable for them to see Chrom as a savior to them specifically. The second coming of the Hero-King who ought for the lives of all humans, really.
And yeah, I'm going here... Chrom is Marth's descendant. Marth was Altean. Former Altea is is modern Plegia, so technically, the people can argue that he's actually theirs.
Doesn't it sort of make sense, even? Plegia is ruined, the god to whom the theocracy was devoted killed. "What we need is to restore the glory of ancient Altea!" And who better to help them than Chrom, Marth's successor in blood and in spirit?
But Chrom would frown and say no. Of course he's going to help them restore their country to prosperity—or at least to independent, peaceful functioning. But king? Sheesh, that's going too far. Come on guys, you don't really want that. Besides, he's already ruling Ylisse...
Except, he's not ruling it as Exalt. At least, not at first he's not. He forswore the title when he started his rule and in canon he is only official welcomed as Exalt after Grima's defeat. But what if he just... continued to not accept it. It's not like he ever wanted to be Exalt. He only has the right to rule because Emmeryn died—because he failed to protect her. It has nothing to do with any of his successes.
But if the Plegians made him their king, then it would be because of his own accomplishments.
And in a way I also can't help but find it heartwarming, because it was the Plegian people who got him to truly understand Emmeryn's ideals. He wanted peace, he wanted to follow her path, but it wasn't until the Plegians took her sacrifice for the peace offer it was and refused to continue fighting Ylisse that Chrom was finally able to comprehend what it meant that Emmeryn believed that all people wanted the same thing, that peace is something for everyone and not just purehearted saints like her who would never hurt a fly. So wouldn't it be sweet to expand on that existing connection? For the people who once bore a grudge against him and his nation to say, actually, our home is your home and you belong with us... For Chrom to reach back and decide that these are his people and that he will protect them...
Especially because that's what he's always done for Robin. Your father doesn't get to determine your path for you, your past doesn't dictate your future, you always have a place beside me because we are two halves of a greater whole. This AU is definitely a chrobin AU, because when Robin gets back I want them to rule at his side (after all, I do have feelings about Grima's loyalty to a people who have been praying to them to end their suffering for a thousand years).
Now, I do think that Chrom would never leave Ylisse while little Lucina was still growing up, but... Honestly it would probably take quite some time to establish a castle for Plegia's new ruler anyway (especially if they go super hard on the Altean revival theme and want it to be IN former Altean territory, which has become the "border wastes" and undoubtedly needs some help... But EVERYWHERE in Plegia needs help, so what better time to give the land some attention?) So when Lucina is an adult she can take over as Ylisse's true Exalt, and Chrom can focus his efforts on the other side of the border. I think he'd still be awkward about the whole thing, approaching it like "Well, I guess I'm here if you all still want me..." but Robin's there to give him confidence and the people there are SO excited for their hero to come and live with them and together they all usher in a new era of peace and prosperity as Ylisse and Plegia themselves become like two halves of a greater whole.
#this au kinda came to me out of nowhere today but also it's based on years of awakening brainrot so it's kinda also not out of nowhere#idk i've been thinking a lot lately about how risen king chrom wears a crown and how grima never does#and i just wanted like... a good timeline variant of rkc kinda? plegian king chrom?#and i was thinking about how much chrom resists becoming the exalt#and i was thinking about how he still resents the ylisseans that threw rocks at emm#and i was thinking about the hierarch who betrayed emmeryn being a longtime family friend who helped guide her whe she was young#and i was thinking about how chrom has every reason to be more grateful to those plegian soldiers who threw down their weapons in the war#than to any member of the ylissean nobility#and it just hit me like... you know what... he could be very happy in plegia. no apocalypse required#i've written fics where chrobin rule plegia before but never one where the primary ruler was chrom so i am full of new thoughts on this one#uh but don't get too excited because i don't really have the energy to write a real fic for this au any time soon asdfghjkl#nevertheless i'm tagging it for reference...#my writing#fe13
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