#not that i didn't have any friends before college
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𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩. 𝟐﹒
ㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒synopsis!! tsukishima does something he know will come back to haunt him ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚౨ cw!! timeskip k. tsukishima x chubby!fem!reader, nsfw nsfw nsfw ﹒ ◠ note!! playlist i listened to while making this ! angst will be in the next part muahahahahaah😼ALSO IT DOESNT LET ME RPELY TO COMMENTS WAA ౨ wc!! 3.5k <<< part one part three >>>
It had been a few weeks since you said those words to Tsukishima, and it's like they're still fresh on his mind. Ever since then, you've been inseparable, well, as inseparable as you can be. You both grew fond of each other's company and grew well as friends, he even managed to break it off with Etsuko; not wanting her to interfere with your friendship any further. He even told some of the guys on his team about you, only after they wouldn't stop pestering him on who the pretty girl was bringing in his lunches in cute bento boxes. He appreciated what you did for him, and he did his best to show it in his own way, he hoped you could feel it as well.
But it all came to a steady stop a few days ago; nothing bad had happened, you just got busy managing your classes and job and you didn't really have enough time to stop by his practices much between running from the college to the bakery then back again. Tsukishima never said anything about it, he knew you were stressed and didn't wanna seem selfish, though, he desperately missed the times you'd spend together. It's not like you never spent any time with him, you'd still go over to his apartment and hed go to yours whenever but either way your face would be stuffed in a book and papers and never just on him.
It started affecting his days as well, not being able to see you- to really see you.
Today was no exception.
You were sitting on Tsukishima's living room floor, papers and books scattered all around you as well as highlighters and pencils, some music filled the background, your combined playlist you made him join on Spotify. It was a sight Tsukishima had grown accustomed to in these past days.
"You alright down there?" He asked, his tone rather gentle as he studied your form.
It took you a minute to reply, wanting to finish reading the paragraph before directing your attention to him, "Yeah, sorry," You let out a yawn as you stretched your back, your shirt lifting a little to reveal more of your skin, something that didn't go unnoticed by Tsukishima. He found himself noticing these small parts of you more often than usual.
"You should take it easy," He spoke softly, standing up and walking over to where you were seated, promptly leaning down to your eye level and neatly sorting your papers into a stack.
"Sorry for the mess, Tsuki, its just your place is so cozy," You watched as he sorted and piled your books and pencils, you watched how his long fingers engulfed the pencils with ease, and you started to wonder how they'd feel on your skin.
"It's practically the same as your place, since, you know, it's the same complex," He teased, placing your things in your bag as you snapped out of your thoughts.
What were you possibly thinking? How could you think that about your best friend? Maybe he was right, maybe you did need to take it easy, all this stress must've been getting to your head.
"Yeah, but in yours, I get to be near you," You hadn't meant anything by it when you said it, but Tsukishima still developed a slight blush on his cheeks. He hated how much of an effect your words had on him, and how easily you could have him flustered.
"Whatever," He spoke, standing up, "You gonna spend the night?" He wasn't sure why he asked, you've never spent the night at his place since you were right next to him, he just wanted to spend more time in your presence before you went back into your usual busy routine tomorrow.
"Of course, we can have a sleepover Tsuki!" You cheered up at him, still sitting on your knees. Despite how innocent the moment was, Tsukishima couldn't stop his mind from drifting.
"Dont say it like that, it sounds lame," He spoke, "Do you want the bed or the couch,"
You huffed, "Your bed is big enough for the both of us, right?" You stood up and walked towards his room, "I mean it is a sleepover, Tsuki,"
His face flushed once again at the thought of sharing the same bed as you, his bed was in fact big enough, but he wasn't sure he could control himself in such close proximity to you, he could barely stand it now.
Tsukishima wasn't oblivious, he knew what a crush was, and he knew what he was feeling resembled one. But he didn't want to ruin what you both shared, he didn't want to be selfish with you. It was a risk he wasn't willing to take.
"Dont call it a sleepover," He sighed, following you into the bedroom.
"Tsuki! I didn't even notice you had glow-in-the-dark stars! That's so cute," You exclaimed, staring up at the dimly lit green stars, you assumed they'd be brighter once the lights were shut off.
"Dont look at them it's embarrassing," He spoke while grabbing his plain black hoodie, and a towel and tossing them your way, "The showers in... well you already know,"
"Thank you," You said shyly as you entered the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom. It made you nervous knowing you'd be showering while Tsukishima was out there.
And Tsukishima was no better, he couldn't help but imagine your bare body, he thought about running his hands up and down your curves gently, showing you exactly how riled up you get him, hearing you say his name, god, the way it rolls off your tongue like a prayer. You drove him absolutely wild. He wasn't sure how he'd get through the night with you next to him.
The sound of the door opening snapped him out of his thoughts, he was sitting up on the bed, facing the bedroom TV on his dresser, watching whatever show was on your shared Netflix recent played, you begged him to join your plan so you could see what shows he liked watching since he wasn't really the talkative type. He liked that about you, he liked that you always wanted to know more about him.
His eyes scanned you up and down, and he could tell that you weren't wearing anything underneath his hoodie.
"Um, Tsuki?" Your voice called his attention, and he raised his brow at you.
"Do you have any spare, uh," You looked away out of nerves, "Panties.." You meekly said, earning a chuckle from Tsukishima.
"Why would I own panties?" He asked in a teasing tone, adoring the way you got shy so quickly. He wished his hoodie was just a bit shorter.
"Well, do you have anything?" Your face was a deep red as you furrowed your brows, not finding the situation as humorous as Tsukishima did.
"In that drawer, the top one," He pointed with his fingers while watching you walk to the dresser, turning your back to him to grab a pair of boxers. Tsukishima tried to keep his eyes from exploring places they shouldn't.
"Close your eyes," You spoke softly, now facing him.
With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he complied and you swiftly pulled them up, they fit quite nicely against your curves, it covered you but left nothing to the imagination, not that you cared, you just wanted to feel less... bare.
He opened his eyes when he felt you crawl into bed next to him, taking your phone out of the hoodie pocket and opening TikTok. Tsukishima grabbed the remote and turned the TV down a bit, knowing you liked to blast your TikTok's on full volume, he never complained tho, he found your for you page funny.
He felt his phone buzz, it was a notification from you, you sent him a TikTok, "Why are you sending me stuff I'm right here," He said with a smile looking over at you wrapped in the blankets, your head barely peeking out of the sheets to see your phone screen.
"I dont know, quit judging me sassyshima," You mumbled from under the blanket, you promptly shoved the phone in his face as a TikTok played.
"When my boy bestfriend decides to not answer me like I'm one of his hoes," Tsukishima read the words out loud, earning a giggle from you.
"It's so relatable," You spoke, taking the phone away from his face.
"No it's not, youre probably the only girl in my contacts," He said, his eyes never leaving you.
His words made you sit up and face him, "Tsuki, is this an admission that you," You paused dramatically, "Have no game...?" Your arms held you up against the mattress as you leaned in for dramatic effect.
Tsukishima scoffed, "I have plenty of game, I have a pretty girl in my bed right now," He smirked at you, watching as the familiar blush formed on your cheeks.
You crossed your arms against your chest, puffing your chest up unknowingly, "That doesn't count," You mumbled, taking your place back next to him and yawning.
You shifted on your side, your back facing him in an attempt to hide your blushing face, unconsciously rubbing your ass against Tsukishimas leg.
He felt his dick throb at the touch, and he wasn't sure what he should do, he didn't wanna make it awkward but he also didn't want you to think he liked it- which he very much did; but he didn't want you to know that as it might scare you away. but god he knew he couldn't stand it much longer.
Tsukishima instinctively placed a hand on your hip, not even realizing what he had done before you stopped your movements.
"Sorry, I dont know why I did that," He spoke softly, removing his hand.
You were a flustered mess, your heart was beating out of your chest and you were sure he could've heard it from there, you didn't even know you were rubbing against him and you felt bad for it, the ghost of his hand on your hip left a burning sensation, making warm waves twist and turn in your stomach. Was it wrong to think he wanted you in the way you needed him?
"Tsuki?" You asked apprehensively, shifting so you were facing him.
"Fuck, dont say my name like that," He breathed out, already staring at you. His breaths were heavy, and from what the TV illuminated you could tell there was a deep red adorning his face, the sight of him like this had you clenching around nothing.
"Touch me again," You enticingly spoke. The air was thick with tension, and your body felt hot all over despite the cool air floating around Tsukishimas apartment, "Please, Tsuki," You begged fervently.
Tsukishima was fighting battles in his mind, he wanted so badly to take you right here, to show you how badly he's been missing your presence, but he knew that when the morning came you'd both regret it, the friendship would become awkward, he didn't want that, he didn't want to lose you due to not being able to control himself.
"We can't," He said reluctantly, looking everywhere but you.
"Why not?" You whined out, your whines only making his cock twitch in his sweatpants.
"Fuck it," And with those words he was on you, running his hands all over your soft body, moving his hoodie up, and feeling your bare skin.
You let out soft whimpers at his rough touch, he was feeling you like he'd never get to again, as if you'd disappear in an instant and you loved it.
"Can I take it off, baby?" He asked gently, still feeling you everywhere except where you needed him the most.
His question made you cower under his gaze, there was nowhere you could hide so you brought your hands up to cover your face.
"If you dont want to, it's okay, I'll still think you're beautiful," His voice was smooth and intoxicating, it made your mind go fuzzy and all you could muster was a small nod.
His hands came down to the hem of the hoodie and pulled it off you in one swift movement, and though he couldn't see much with only the TV lighting up the room, what he could see he found perfect.
Before his hands could continue exploring your curves you grabbed his arm, "You too," You shyly spoke, earning a smile from Tsukishima. He complied with your demand and swiftly threw his shirt to the ground. You admired his form and ran your fingers along his build, sending shivers down his spine at your touch. You were finally touching the man who consumed all your fantasies.
Your hips unconsciously bucked against his thigh, earning a small moan from you at the friction. "Touch me, Kei," Your tone was laced with sultry, you had a deep need for his touch, you wanted so badly to come undone on him, for him, to him.
He positioned himself so your legs were on either side of him, and his fingers ran down your soft stomach, and down into the borrowed boxers, eliciting a small gasp at the contact. He leaned his head into the crook of your neck and began kissing and licking as his fingers slid up and down your slick puffy lips, coating his digits in your wetness.
You felt him smirk on your skin, "All this for me?" He smugly asked, even in a moment like this he still had the biggest ego.
"Tell me how bad you want me," He demanded in your ear, kissing the soft skin.
"I need you so bad, Kei, so so so bad," You whined, hating how much he was teasing you.
You felt him sink a finger in, and you let out a hushed moan into his ear, causing him to sink another finger in. He felt your grip on his shoulders as he moved his fingers into you deeper, he loved how you felt around his fingers, the feeling had his dick throbbing in his sweatpants, but he wanted to take care of you first, he wanted to feel you cum all over his fingers.
Tsukishima knew he found your soft spot when you became a moaning mess, rocking your hips on his hand and digging your nails into his skin.
"Yeah? Like that baby?" He whispered in your ear, quickening his pace. His other hand ran up your body to massage your breast in his palm, you felt vulnerable under his gaze, knowing he's touched you everywhere, but the thought only made you clench more around his fingers.
"Yes! More, more, more," You repeated in chants, his thumb came to rub around your clit, making your hips jolt up at the sudden sensation.
"I've missed you so much since you've been busy," His pace was steady, and his slender fingers reached places in you you didn't even know existed, you couldn't barely form any sentences as the familiar feeling of your climax crept up on you.
"Missed seeing your pretty face all the time," He praised in your ear, licking his way from your neck to your lips in a hungry kiss, wanting to taste you.
"You gonna cum?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you as his fingers gradually increased their pace on your clit, the feeling felt like nothing you've ever felt before, it was new, and you were already addicted, his scent was intoxicating and it filled your every pore, you could hear how wet you were.
You nodded profusely, unable to speak due to the loud moans and shrieks that were coming from your mouth, Tsukishima loved the sight of you, a mess all because of his fingers, he couldn't wait to see what you would be like on his dick.
"Look at me, baby, god, I can't get enough of you,"
"'M gonna cum! Tsuki, tsuki, tsuki, please," You were cut off by your own climax, your walls clenched tightly around Tsukishimas fingers as your back arched up into his body, twitching and jolting while he fingered you through your high.
Your clit soon became too sensitive so you wrapped your hand around his wrist in an attempt to halter his movements.
"Tsuki, too much," You whined out, body twitching vigorously.
"Sorry, youre just so pretty," He took his fingers out of you, your walls instantly missing them. You took a minute to regain your composure while Tsukishima slid his sweatpants down and you slid the boxers off.
Tsuki started pumping his dick in his hand that was coated in your cum, the feeling eliciting a low moan. He could've come just by the sight of you.
"Are you ready?" He asked, rubbing his tip against your puffy lips, guiding it to rub against your clit.
You nodded up at him through tired eyes.
"I wanna hear you, baby," He spoke, never losing eye contact with you.
"Yeah, I need you Tsuki," Your voice was soft, exhaustion setting in from your high before.
"That's my girl,"
He guided his tip to your entrance and slowly let it sink into your slick folds, a gasp erupting from your mouth while Tsuki bit hard on his lip, trying to quiet his own groans. It wasn't enough for you though, you needed more of him, and you wanted to take every inch of him.
"More, Tsuki, please," You begged.
His arms were planted on either side of you, holding him up above you, "I don't want to hurt you," And it was true, but a part of him wanted to thrust so deep into you until you took all of him. But this was your first time together, he wanted to take it slow and remember every little sound you could possibly make.
Tsukishima slowly pushed deeper into you and with every inch came a new sound, your fingers were digging into his forearms, and your legs were wrapped around his waist, trying to guide him further into you. The pain felt so, so good to you.
When he finally bottomed out, you felt it, that special spot you had become addicted to him hitting, it felt even better now that you felt fuller.
"Right there, more, please, oh my god," Your back arched upwards and your hips bucked as you started fucking yourself on his dick, you felt him twitch inside of you at the sight.
"Fuck, baby, youre gonna make me cum doing that," He lightly laughed at how desperately you grinded on his dick, his arms moved to your hips, holding them in place and stilling their movement.
"You want more? Huh?" He teased.
"Yes! Stop being mean, Tsuki," You whined, face turning into a frown at the lack of friction.
"Alright, baby, I'll be nice," He smirked before pulling out and thrusting roughly back into you, your eyes rolled back and a shout of pleasure erupted from your throat, your body would've twitched had his grip on your hips not been so tight. He repeated his motion again, only this time he kept doing it at a steady pace. The pleasure sent waves up your spine, you couldn't even think straight, the only thing on your mind was how good Tsukishima was fucking you.
"Been wanting to do this since you made me that cake," He breathed out between moans and thrusts, "You have no idea what you do to me,"
Your hand reached down to your clit but was swatted away and replaced by Tsukishimas fingers, "Such a needy girl, yeah?" It wasn't even processing in your mind what he was saying, all you knew was to agree and take it.
With every thrust, your moans grew louder, every time he hit your soft spot harder and harder, the sounds of skin on the skin filled the room along with your nonsense blabbers about how good he was fucking you.
"Fuck, baby, I'm close," He groaned out, his pace grew sloppier with his thrusts, and his fingers on your clit got faster, "Can I cum inside you?" He asked, leaning down to breathe in your scent.
"Yes, please, please," Your sentence rambled off into noncoherent moans as the familiar knot in your stomach tightened. Tsukishima whispered all sorts of praises in your ear, but one stood out to you.
"Your body is perfect for me, baby," His sentence was enough to drive you over the edge, your walls clamped down tightly around his dick as you let out a shriek of pleasure, chanting his name over and over, it brought Tsukishima to his own climax, and with one deep thrust you felt his cum fill you in warm sputters, his hips bucked through his climax while his head rested on your shoulder, small pants coming from him as he caught his breath.
You both had stayed in that position for a while, seemingly going over what had just happened.
He stood up suddenly, leaving your walls to clench around nothing and you stared up at his glow in the dark stars as he cleaned you off silently
mlist. rules. tags.
© 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ─ please don't copy, translate, or post any of my work without my permission !
tags: @ilovemymomscooking
<< part one part three >>>
#haikyuu#haikyuu ৎ .ᐟ#smut#haikyuu smut#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima smut#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima kei smut#x chubby reader#chubby reader#chubby#haikyuu x reader
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Meet Me at the Sea: Prologue
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader
Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the at his family's summer home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but now there are bodies washing up on shore and you're starting to lose pockets of time. Bob and his friends are acting strange. Is it fear, or do they know more than they're letting on?
Content Warning: Nothing major. Allusion to neglectful parents, Death of a grandmother. Please let me know if I need to add anything!
Word Count: 1.5k
Series Masterlist
Music poured out from the music box that sat atop your dresser, the sweet melody filling the room easing some of the tension from your shoulders and neck. It was a small thing, something your grandmother had found while on one of her many antiquing trips. Luminescent shells decorating the sides, edges traced in gold, gave the illusion of something magical. It reminded you somewhat of the mermaid figurine she kept placed atop her mantle. She had left it to you when she passed a couple years prior, and it sat proudly on your desk for all to see as they entered your room.
Finals had been stressful, but they were finally over and you had the diploma waiting safely at your childhood home along with most of your belongings. Your parents had driven out to North Carolina for your graduation ceremony, celebrating with you for the weekend before heading back to the Midwest. They had announced their intention to travel for the summer, an announcement you were more than familiar with by this point as they had taken every opportunity to travel since you had been old enough to stay with family over the summer. Once you were eighteen and off to college, they had taken to traveling throughout the year as well. It didn’t bother you all that much—not really, anyway.
You were an only child, and while you knew you were loved, you often wondered if your parents considered you a burden rather than a beloved child, and you had spent most of your summers with your maternal grandmother. Grandma Madge had been so fun and full of life, and you had been closer to her than any of her other grandchildren, though you had fond memories of playing on your grandfather’s boat with your older cousins in the Florida heat, the ocean spray hitting your face and easing the sting of the summer heat. You had been closest with Bubbles, your cousin closest in age to you, and the two of you had been attached at the hip during those summers, calling each other often during the months apart. Of course, Bubbles wasn’t her real name, just like Skipper wasn’t yours. Names given to you by older family members, Bubbles because of the nervous tick she had of blowing bubbles into her drink while lost in thought, Skipper given to you by your grandfather because of the way you commanded your cousins around on the boat.
You may have been the youngest, but you were a natural born leader according to the older man.
You and Bubbles had drifted apart during high school, preoccupied with friends you saw every day and the different dreams the both of you pursued. Bubbles chased a dream of writing the world’s best-selling novel, and you chased a dream instilled in you by your grandmother.
You supposed it was natural to be drawn to the ocean. How many people do you hear lament about their yearning for a beach vacation? You weren’t just interested in the beach, however. No, you were fascinated by the fauna that called the body of water home, wanting to know all you could about it. You begged your parents to buy you every book available on the different creatures living beneath the waves, taking nearly weekly visits to the aquarium. You loved all the creatures, but your favorite had always been the stingrays. The little cow-nosed rays glided through the water, racing up to you for pets. They were like little water puppies, and you spent hours with your hand in the water petting them until your parents had to drag you away to finish looking at the rest of the exhibits. It was on one of those early trips that you procured your closest confidante, Rusty—a stuffed cow-nosed stingray who you kept with you as much as possible.
Rusty had been with you during every embarrassing moment, every bad test, and had even moved with you halfway across the country to attend Duke University in North Carolina. He hadn’t been your only friend for long, as during that first week of classes you met a boy who you would know as your greatest friend four years later.
Bob Floyd was a North Carolina native, having come from the small, island town appropriately named North Island. Bob told you all the stories about growing up in that small, island town, even inviting you to spend holidays with him, but you had politely refused. You still spent that time with your grandmother, keeping her company as much as possible after your grandfather had died your sophomore year of high school.
Grandma Madge had passed at the beginning of your final year, and you had considered taking time off to grieve. It had been Bubbles of all people who had called you up to remind you that your grandmother would have wanted you to continue and finish earning your degree, and so though it pained you to push on, keep going you had.
Now, you were at a loss with what to do for your final summer before starting your PhD program at Duke’s graduate school. Finals were wrapping up, and you found yourself confronted with the possibility of returning home for a summer spent alone while your parents were god only knew where.
“When are you gonna take me up on my offer to just spend the summer at my folk’s place?” Bob huffed in a laugh. You rolled your eyes playfully at him from where you lay sprawled out on his bedspread, several textbooks scattered around you. Bob was seated at his desk, textbooks also cracked open as the two of you studied for finals. “I’m serious, Skipper. It’s senior year, and I’d really like if my best friend would come hang out with me for the summer.”
“I don’t want to be a bother,” you started, stopping when Bob scoffed, shooting you a scowl.
“You’re never a bother. And where’s that same attitude when you’re over here eating all of my poptarts?”
“That’s different,” you giggled.
Bob glared playfully at you. “I beg to differ. Besides, you’d be doin’ me a favor. I’m always so bored when I’m at home. I could really use the company.”
“Wow, what a ringing endorsement,” you joked, Bob rolled his eyes. “Don’t you have friends?”
“I do,” he conceded with a grimace, “but Nat and Mickey are the only two that are at least somewhat normal, and I always feel like a third wheel. It’d be nice to have another person there to even things out.”
You chewed on your bottom lip, pen tapping against your notebook as you considered his proposal. It would definitely beat a summer in the Midwest. Bob scooted forward, putting on his best pleading look, blue eyes dark and round as he pleaded with you.
“C’mon,” he urged, lower lip sticking out in an exaggerated pout. “Pretty please?”
You sighed. “I’ll think about it, alright? I want to see what my parents have planned.”
As it would turn out, your parents had planned a trip abroad for the whole summer, and you were left with no other option but to accept Bob’s proposal.
“Don’t sound so happy,” he had laughed. “You love the ocean, and the house is right on the beach.”
“I am happy,” you countered, loading your bags into the back of his car. “But, I’m worried that I’ll just be an imposition.”
“For the thousandth time,” Bob said with a dramatic roll of his eyes, “you are not an imposition. My parents love you, remember? Sometimes I think they like you more than they like me. Do you really think they would have let me invite you if they didn’t? Hell, I had to fight’em to keep’em from inviting you themselves.”
Bob’s parents were a sweet couple. Susan was a stay-at-home mom turned entrepreneur, while Richard was a tech developer, and both absolutely adored their only son. They had latched onto you the second Bob had introduced you to them during one of the home football games they had driven up to see, and now they considered you the daughter they never had.
“How did they react when you told them I was coming?” You asked him with a grin. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“Pretty sure there’s a mountain of balloons waiting for us when we get there,” he mused, closing the door to the trunk. The two of you rounded the different sides of the car before getting in. Once your seatbelt was fastened, you looked up to see Bob giving you a peculiar look. You returned it with a confused one, and he looked down pointedly at your lap.
“Rusty does not sit in the back,” you said, hugging the stuffed ray closer. Bob let out a little laugh as he held his hands up in surrender.
“You sure you remembered everything?” He asked you as he started the car. You nodded, shifting in your seat to get more comfortable.
“I’m sure.”
“Alright then,” he grinned, turning to you. “Let’s get goin’.”
A/N: Here it is! I told y’all I was gonna rewrite it lol But I’m finally getting around to it!
As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. I no longer do tag lists, but you can follow my side blog ( @arcanevagabond-library ) and turn on post notifications for all updates! You can also find my stories on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond. Until next time!
#mmats#meet me at the sea#jake hangman seresin#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin x you#jake hangman seresin x y/n#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x y/n#hangman#hangman x reader#hangman x y/n#hangman x you
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⛥゚・。 lucky punch: chapter two
chapter synopsis: when zoro brought you back to nami's, he didn't expect the whole crew to be there... and it seemed your relationship with the woman to ran deeper than he thought.
cw: high school/college au, violence, underage drinking, parties, mature themes, profanity, sports, reader is on the volleyball team, zoro is in kendo, you and zoro are both seniors and eighteen, etc.
Arriving at Nami's house, Zoro pulled into the driveway with a tired sigh, scooping both you and your purse up—seeing as you were out cold— before using his spare key to open the door and carry you over the threshold.
Though, he might as well have walked into another party.
Finally inside the house, the man was quick to realize that all the usual suspects were already there, loud chattering and uproarious laughter echoing throughout the large living room, each of his friends seeming to have escaped from the same party you did.
"Namiiii! Do you have any more meat?" Luffy called from the kitchen, head buried in the fridge as he rummaged around for something else to eat.
"Stop eating all the ladies' food, you jackass!" Sanji shouted, running over and kicking the boy away from the roast he had marinading. "That's not for you!"
"I'M HUNGRY!"
"YOU JUST GOT FINISHED EATING THREE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS!"
"Hey, bros! Could you get me some cola while you're up?" Franky asked, mindlessly flicking through the channels on Nami's flat-screen. "I'm SUPER thirsty."
"You shoulda seen me, Robin! That cop tried to stop me and I gave him what for!" Usopp bellowed, proudly puffing out his chest from his spot on the couch. "He was all like I'm gonna need to see some ID... and I was like You can see this right here! And I flipped him off just like that!"
"Usopp, you liar!" Luffy denied, struggling against Sanji as the man tried to pry him off the fridge door. "You turned tail and left me to deal with him by myself!"
"You didn't even drink! You were fine!" Usopp scoffed, "Besides, I had to go drop off Kaya first!"
"How was she? Did she get home okay?" Robin asked with a smile, crossing her legs and resting her cheek in her palm.
"She was a little shaken up, but I got her home safe and sound!" he grinned, attention snatched away from the boys at the opportunity to talk about Kaya, a small flush rising to his neck at the memory. "She even gave me a kiss for my chivalry!"
"How romantic."
"NAMI! CHOPPER'S ATTACKING ME AGAIN!" Brook screeched, running around the couch as the small brown puppy playfully chased him, nipping at his ankles.
"Cut it out, would ya?! I'm tryna watch the game!" Franky swatted at him, attempting to look around as the Wano Samurais scored the winning touchdown against the Onigashima Beasts. "HOOOO-YEAH! MY PARLAY JUST HIT!"
"LUFFY, GET AWAY FROM THE DAMN FRIDGE!" Sanji shouted, using all of his strength to tug the boy off the handle.
"NOT UNTIL I GET SOMETHING TO EAT!"
"WILL YOU MORONS SHUT UP?! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE LEFT YOU WITH THE POLICE!" Nami shrieked, thundering down the stairs. "I told you to clear out fifteen minutes ago! We've gotta go back to Bonney's and find my friend before it's too late!"
"Is this her?"
Even though his tone was low, everyone's attention snapped over to Zoro, eyes falling to the unconscious girl in his arms, along with the comically small, brown handbag on his shoulder.
"(y/n)!" Nami gasped, shoulders dropping with relief as she ran over to you, cupping your cheek in her hand. "Is she okay?! Zoro, what happened?!"
"She's fine," he assured, walking over to the couch and laying you down in an empty section. "I found her stumbling around in the street and managed to snatch her up before she got caught. Looks like she drank more than she could handle."
"She's beautiful!" Sanji clasped his hands together, eyes practically turning to hearts at the sight of you and your outfit.
"Is this your new friend, Nami?" Luffy asked, stuffing his face with chips as he walked over, "How come you didn't tell us?"
"I did tell you!" she exclaimed, brows furrowed. "And for the record, she's not a new friend. I've known her for way longer than I've known you."
"Wait... really?" he raised a brow.
Nami nodded, glancing at your sleeping form.
"(y/n) and I have been best friends since pre-school. We were sat right next to each other, and managed to stay in the same classes all throughout elementary," she explained, a smile on her face. "The two of us were thick as thieves, but a few years back she got recruited by some volleyball camp and left to train."
Her grin widened, practically shaking with excitement.
"But now she's back and better than ever!" she turned to Robin, happily. "And she's joining the volleyball team, Robin!"
"I'm aware," the dark-haired girl smiled. "I met her during one of our summer tournaments. She's an excellent player, and Koala absolutely loves her."
"Is she really that good?" Franky asked, intrigued.
Nami nodded, relishing the opportunity to gush about you. "Mhmm! She's nationally ranked! Number one outside hitter in the highest girls' division!"
"Woah! Then she's gotta be strong!" Luffy smirked, giddily shifting in his seat as he adjusted his tan, backwards cap. "Wake 'er up so we can arm wrestle!"
"NO!" Sanji shouted, kicking him again.
"While this is all well and good, I do suggest we get her some water," Brook chimed, concerned. "She's looking a bit flushed."
"I'll get it!~" Sanji chirped, turning around and dancing his way into the kitchen.
Zoro rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.
'Stupid ero-cook...'
"Not only that, but shouldn't we call her parents or something? They're probably worried sick wondering where she is," Usopp added.
"She's staying with me and Nojiko until her dad comes back from business in Dressrosa," Nami assured.
"Well then, if everything's in order, I think it's time to for me to get going," Robin sighed, standing up from the couch. "I'll need to be well rested for tomorrow's match."
"WAH?! (Y/N) DRANK THIS MUCH KNOWING SHE HAD TO PLAY A GAME TOMORROW?!" Usopp exclaimed.
"Bonney drank her under the table in Shots, but (y/n) insisted on continuing. She didn't wanna forfeit the challenge," Nami facepalmed.
"SHE CHALLENGED BONNEY?!" everyone exclaimed.
"SHE'S NEW TO TOWN! GIVE HER A BREAK!"
"Well, if we're all clearing out, I guess I can take this one home," Sanji sighed, picking up Luffy by the back of his shirt like a cat.
"Ken I keepmf thaw chips?" the boy asked, muffled, as he shoved another fistful into his face, Sanji carrying him toward the door.
"Wait for me, Sanji!" Usopp called, running after the two.
"Hurry the hell up!"
"You need a ride, Robin?" Franky asked with a smirk as they both headed out as well.
"That would be lovely," she smiled, a faint pink dusting her cheeks.
"Super! I can show you the new paint job I just did on the Sunny!" he grinned—the Sunny being an old Volkswagen van he tricked out two summers back.
While you were now home safe, for some reason, Zoro didn't want to leave yet, something about you sparking his interest.
Not only was he intrigued by the rather... interesting first impression you left on him, but also by the information he just learned.
You were strong, athletic, hard-working, pretty—and kind, if Nami and Robin were friends with you.
It seemed like you had the whole package.
"Zoro, do you need a ride as well?" Brook asked, softly, snapping the green-haired man out of his thoughts.
"Nah, I brought my truck," he politely declined. "Gonna head home myself."
"I see. Then, I'll see you tomorrow."
"See ya then. Night, Brook."
"Wait, Zoro," Nami stopped, the man turning to her with a raised brow. "Before you go, can you give (y/n) the water Sanji brought? I'm gonna go change out of this dress."
But before he could even answer, the woman was already running up the stairs, and Brook was already out the door, leaving you and him alone in the living room.
'For Christ's sake...'
Begrudgingly, Zoro walked over to the couch, taking as seat next to your head as he lightly shook you awake.
"Oi, (y/n)," he stated, your first name sounding foreign on his tongue. "Get up. Drink some water."
Slowly, you started to stir awake, eyes fluttering as you let out a soft groan, your head feeling like it was filled with rocks.
Groggily, you sat up, squinting at the light as you swayed slightly.
'Jeez...'
"Here," he held up the glass, calloused hand coming up to cradle the nape of your neck as he tilted your head back, "Drink."
Slowly, you gulped back some of the liquid, the ice cooling your flushed skin.
In the meantime, Zoro kept his gaze fixated on you, falling hypnotized as he watched you, who somehow seemed graceful even in your sluggish state.
Exhausted, you finished drinking before dropping your head into the his shoulder, taking a moment to inhale his scent.
He smelled like a man—notes of sweat, steel, pine, and mint lingering around him.
You liked it.
"Thanks," you groaned into his skin, your sober self fighting through your sleepiness to show you had at least some manners. "I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass... You're a really nice guy..."
He let out a slight chuckle, his heart warming at your apology.
You were adorable.
"Don't worry about it," he assured, giving you a friendly pat on the back. "You need help gettin' up to your room?"
Embarrassed, you looked down at yourself, lip jutting in a pout as you gave him a weak nod.
"I got you," Zoro scooped you up once again, moving toward the steps and starting the trek to the guest room.
As he carried you up the stairs, you took the time to get a better look at the extremely hot guy holding you.
His pronounced jawline... his dark, bedroom eyes... his muscular figure... they all led your mind to thoughts of what exactly you'd do to this man if given the chance.
Noticing your eyes on him, he raised a brow, eyes glinting mischievously as he saw you blush and cower under his gaze.
'Adorable...'
Your knight in shining black tank-top carried you all the way to your room and set you down on the bed, tugging off your chunky boots before tucking you under the covers.
The moment your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light, and Zoro gave you one more once over before quietly exiting the room, carefully shutting the door behind himself before he turned around.
Only to be bombarded by a rather tenacious, red-haired woman...
"She's a cutie right?" Nami asked with a smirk, cutting right to the chase.
"I'm tired, Nami," Zoro sighed, rubbing the ache at the back of his neck as he stepped around her, heading toward the stairs.
"Oh, c'mon, don't be like that. I saw the way you were looking at her," she pressed on, trailing after him. "You liiike her~"
"I don't like anything," he corrected, flatly. "She was drunk and I helped her. That's all."
"Betchu thought about helping yourself to something else in that outfit she was wearing..."
He turned as red as a tomato, his entire face burning with embarrassment and eyes widening at the accusation.
"WHAT?! NO!"
Obviously... yes.
"Will you shut up?! You're gonna wake her!" she shushed, brows furrowed at his volume.
"What do you take me for?! I'm not some pervert like the damn love cook!"
"Alright, then! Don't get your panties in a bunch! Jeez..." Nami rolled her eyes. "Are you coming to her match tomorrow after school? I'm bringing out the whole crew to cheer her on for her first game back."
Zoro perked slightly at the offer.
It would be a chance to see you in action, and to have a conversation while sober.
"Yeah, sure, why not."
"Perfect," Nami smiled, giving him a pat on the back. "Oh, and before you leave..."
She held out her other hand, her fingers wiggling expectantly.
"My fifty dollars..."
Grumbling to himself, Zoro shoved his hands in his pockets, rummaging around and pulling out a crumpled twenty, four fives, five ripped ones, and a dollar in quarters.
"Pleasure doing business with you. See ya tomorrow!"
"Whatever..."
#one piece#one piece x reader#roronoa#roronoa x reader#roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro#zoro x reader#zorosangell#op#zorosangell--lucky punch
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Sherlock and Co pre-canon headcanons 'cause ehh why not???
English is not my first language and I have adhd so feel free to point out any spelling/grammar/etc mistakes
Mariana:
was married for a few years after college. It was a guy she met in college, a really sweet and bright relationship, but it didn't last long after college. They're not friends, but also not enemies, just drifted apart and don't talk anymore
was a Spanish tutor for a while, before she found a job at Hudsons. Loved the kids, hated actually explaining her native language and not just using it intuitively
was a very calm teenager and had the Rebellious stage somewhere in her twenties. She hitchhiked a LOT with friends one summer and her many of her favourite memories and funny stories are related to these trips
has an older sibling - and i mean like 10 or more years age gap. Tbh they're not really close
John:
pathological people pleaser as a kid. The First Child. Look at him. Yeah, that's a man who did things just because they were expected from him.
talked to himself a lot while alone, and in his mind in public. i think it's why it's easy for him to record podcasts - he's used to just talking with no one
tried writing blogs and diaries, but it never worked out
Sherlock:
once just shaved his head because summer was awfully hot and he was ALWAYS overstimulated even with short hair. He didn't like it though and never did again
was homeless for a short period of time
met Lestrade when he was arrested. She thought "NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEYS" really hard but it didn't work. So she acquired a neurodivergent catastrophe. Sherlock pretends not to like her, but actually respects her and cares about her opinion and well-being (and vice versa)
changed multiple schools as kid due to various reasons (aka being neurodivergent and probably undiagnosed), was finally sent to a small boarding school. Not ideal, but better than others
#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#sherlock holmes#john watson#or should i say#jonk watson#mariana ametxazurra
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Let's pretend it's 1996
Duncan Carmello x F!Reader
Summary: You've always wondered how things would have turned out between you and Duncan if you didn’t break up. It takes 10 years for you to see him again at your High School reunion. This night brings a lot of bittersweet moments between you and him, and you can't help but wonder if after all this time you could make this work again.
CW: fluff, crack, light angst, regrets, memories, exes, high school reunion, drinking, singing, kissing.
Word Count: 3,8k
A/N: This fic is set in 2006, the year the show was released. Duncan never dated Nicole, instead he was with reader. Also, I'm not a lyricist so forgive my cheesy ass song that I wrote for Duncan, but I know this is something he'd write.
— Links: AO3 // Masterlist
After sitting down at the table, you start bobbing your head to the sound of Car Fire, the band playing live, led by none other than Duncan Carmello—your ex. They've taken the stage to kick off the party, while the stragglers keep arriving.
Your friend Pam has left you alone momentarily to procure a couple of drinks. In that time, you've found yourself caught in a web of memories about your Duncan that trace all the way back to high school. It's in this very same gym you're in where you cheered for him from the bleachers when he played basketball. The very same place where you dance together during prom, and you couldn't imagine life with anyone other than him. And now it hosts your 10 Year High School reunion. You promised yourself that you'd never attend any of these cheesy events, but Pam convinced you to come along. She’s in the organization committee, and she was very adamant on you being here tonight.
Pam sets your glass of wine on the table right in front of you, and gets close to your ear to say something over the music playing, “you're staring.”
“What?” you slowly pick up your glass and bring it up to your lips.
“Tell me that you're not still pinning for that asshole.”
“I am not pinning,” you scoff and take another sip to swallow the lie. “I’m remembering. Remembering is not pinning.”
“Tell that to your face.”
You've always wondered how things would have turned out between you and Duncan if you didn’t break up. You were high school sweethearts, the ones that every thought they'd be together forever. But fate had different plans. You wanted to become a journalist, had your mind set on going to college on the other side of the country, and that put a strain on your relationship. Distance was not kind, and a year later there was no more you and Duncan. The last time you saw him was that summer, when you came back and everything went to hell. You haven't seen him in person since. You’ve seen him in pictures that your old classmates have on Facebook, but you never thought of reaching out, despite him being on your mind more often than not.
All the relationships you had after Duncan didn't work out, and it was solely on you. You could never bring yourself to love anyone when he was still a constant presence in your heart and mind. It’s something that you probably never got over, which is kind of pathetic considering he was the one who couldn’t overcome his issues about your long distance relationship. You should hate him, but you never did. You never could. All his concerns were valid, but you were too focused on getting your degree and traveling all over, something you’ve dreamed of since before you met him. And he felt like he wasn’t part of that. He had his life here and wasn’t willing to consider moving away, even if it was just for trying. The pressure was on you to make it work, and it made you feel like a failure for not doing your best to fix the situation. That’s why he was an asshole. He was just a kid, people would say… but so were you. There was too much you had planned for your future to throw away for him. He could've met you halfway, but because he was so damn stubborn that it all ended in a bitter note that left an aftertaste in your throat for years to last. This is mainly the reason you didn't want to come here today. You know it'd be hard to ignore everything you've put in boxes in the farthest corners of your mind. Now, the dust has cleared, lids are open, and you can't bring yourself to close them again.
This evening, he's singing all the songs he wrote in high school, which you remember every lyric to. You're the sole owner of two copies of the one and only album they ever recorded. One of those he gave to you, it came with a special dedication at the back. And a second one you bought to support the band. They're both in an old box labeled ‘Don't open’ that contains everything that you collected from that past relationship and that you've always been unable to get rid of that sits in the back of your closet.
You try to think about all the horrible things he said to you the last time you talked face to face in an attempt to put him out of your mind; but to be honest, it felt like such a surreal conversation you're not sure if it happened or not. You're not the one to hold grudges and yes, he was just a kid, who had just turned 19, and it'll be really petty of you to hold onto that forever.
As the short performance comes to an end, Pam leaves again to set up the next activity at the stage. Music starts playing from a playlist now as you wander around to pick up some appetizers from the buffet table to stuff your face with. Then you meet your colleagues from the school paper that are all gathered at the bar. You have a couple of drinks and a few laughs while catching up with them and everything that's going on with their lives.
Your social battery starts draining as your bladder keeps filling quickly. When you come out of the bathroom, you make a stop in the hallway to study the wall of memories of the class of 96 that holds a lot of moments frozen in pictures that you had forgotten. School events, trips, different clubs, yearbook portraits and personal pics of different groups of friends shine anew as if they were taken yesterday. They're all labeled by year, and the walk down memory lane ends with a graduation picture of the whole class. Your eyes travel back to a collection of snapshots dedicated to prom. There's one of Duncan where he's smiling proudly in his messed up tux after being crowned prom king. Another one of the two of you where he has put his crown on your head to share the win. He later on bought you a tiara, saying you were his only queen. Your heart sinks when you see a more intimate pic of you slowly dancing in his arms. You still remember what song was playing, how he smelled, how his hands caressed the exposed skin at your back. It seems to come alive for a second when you hear his voice behind you…
“I still think you should have been crowned that night.”
“I was a nerd. Haven't you heard? Nerds don't get to be prom royalty,” you say after swallowing the knot in your throat. You don't look back, you can't face him yet. Not this close.
“That's not true. Look at you, you were by far the most beautiful in that gym.”
“Well, it wasn't a beauty contest, either.” You sigh, staring at the most popular girl in school standing on stage with her crown next to Duncan.
“So, you're not going to turn around?”
“I don't think I can yet.”
“That's cool. Take your time.”
“You sounded good up there. I thought you guys went separate ways.” You fidget with your fingers, unable to move any other part of your body to look at him.
“We did. We just got the band together again.”
“You still got it.”
“You think so?” He still sounds so boyish when he says that.
“Hm-hmm.”
“I was hoping you'd come today.”
“Yeah? Why is that?” you keep your eyes glued to the pictures on the wall.
“Cause I needed to tell you that I didn't mean any of that shit I said when we broke up.”
“Duncan, you don't have to say anything. It's—”
“No. I do have something to say, cause I was a jackass. Thought that you deserved better than me. I knew if we stayed together, I'd hold you back. You were doing what you loved, and I'd have just gotten in the way so… I took the coward's way out. I thought that if you hated me, you'd just move on. Then it was too late when I realized that it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I need you to know that.”
Listening to him opening that old wound makes your eyes well up, but you manage to reel those in.
“I tried to hate you,” you say. “Never could. Even when it hurt, even when I couldn't move on… I couldn't bring myself to hate you.”
It's then that you finally gather the courage to shift in your heels and face him.
“Hey.”
“Hey, you,” the way his lips curve up at the corners is utterly disarming. “I didn't think you'd talk to me.”
You shrug, “I didn't think so either. But here we are.”
“Here we are,” he echoes. “You look great.”
“You do, too.” And he does. Up close, you can see he's really grown up into his own with his simple dark suit and unbuttoned black shirt. “Look at you. You're wearing a suit, and you've gotten rid of that horrible mullet.”
“Yeah,” he laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of his nape, messing up his shaggy curls. “Would you have a drink with me?”
“Hmm,” you pause and try to decide whether that it's something that you'd like to do right now. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
“Why? Did you come here with anyone?”
“No, I just don't have anything else to say to you.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
You shake your head. “Whatever happened all these years ago is all water under the bridge, Duncan. You said what you wanted to say. I don't think it'd be healthy to sit down and keep rehashing the past.”
“Oh, I get it, you're scared.” He says with a teasing tone.
“I'm not scared.” You scoff, crossing your arms tightly against your stomach.
“No? You look terrified right now, hotshot.”
“I'm not.”
“Are so.”
“I'm not”
“Are so.”
“What, are we in school?” You bring a stop to it.
“Well, we are in a high school.”
You both stare at the other and break into laughter.
Duncan tucks both hands in his pockets and shrugs like he used to, biting his bottom lip with a smile before trying again.
“C'mon, let me buy you a drink for old times.”
“I think drinks are free.”
“Even better.”
“So I'm a cheap date now.”
“Hey, I didn't say anything about a date.” Duncan starts walking backwards, heading to the gym doors. “I'll be at the bar. Come. Don't come. It's up to you.”
You watch him disappear behind the big doors that clank upon closing. The music buzzing behind them temporarily comes to stop, and you hear murmurs in its place. You step closer to see through the window that Pam is taking the stage to inform everyone with mic in hand that games would start soon before letting the music resume. You look to the side to get a glimpse of Duncan taking a seat at the bar. Against your own wishes, your hands push the door open and let your feet zero in on his direction.
His face lights up when he sees you. He raises his glass up to you. “Look who decided to join me. I knew you couldn't resist.”
“Please, don't flatter yourself. I just needed a place to sit,” you say, parking your ass on the free bar stool beside him. “These heels are killing me.”
The waiter comes over, and you order another glass of wine while you watch Duncan go over a booklet left on the bar with the necessary information of all the attendees from the Class of 96.
“Is this true? You live in New York now?” Duncan shows up your page with your bio, and two pics of you side by side, one from your teen years and a recent one you send to Pam to assemble the class book.
“Hm-hmm.”
“And you write for a surfing magazine, huh?”
“Surfing magazine? What are you talking about? It’s called Surfeit. It has nothing to do with surfing.”
“I know,” he scoffs, “I was just messing with you.”
“Were you now?” You squint at him.
“Yeah, I gotta confess I’ve known for a while. I subscribed to that thing a few months ago.”
“Get out of here.”
“No, it’s true. I know you’re one of the founders. I’ve read all your pieces, I particularly liked the one about the invasion of the cum trees. It was fascinating.”
“Yeah? You think that one will put me on the right track for a Pulitzer?” You chuckle before taking a sip from your glass. “So, you’ve been keeping tabs on me.”
“Just recently.” He puts down the booklet and lifts his beer to his lips.
“Just recently? Why would you do that now?”
“Why?” he sighs. “I don’t know, I guess I missed talking to you. I found one of your articles online a few months ago, and it felt like I was hearing your voice when I read it, so I started looking for more, and I found Surfeit and I got most of them in the mail— It’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it?”
You balance your head side to side, measuring which side you lean on. “I think it’s sweet. I like this new side of you.”
“Which side?”
“You’re honest. Well, I suppose you always were, for the most part, but I used to have to pry words out of you when we weren’t talking about music, sports, or video games. I like that you offer them now without me asking, and that you’re capable of reading anything that didn’t come from a Playboy. I don’t think you were our target audience when we started the magazine, but I’ll take it.”
Biting his bottom lip, he looks down for a beat. “Okay, now it’s your turn to share something pathetic you’ve done to level the scales.”
“Hmm, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Cause I’m pretty sure I’d win, and you’d laugh at me.”
“C’mon, I promise I won’t laugh.”
Clearing your throat, you look down for a beat before confessing.
“You know, I was just thinking earlier, when you were playing on stage, about all the stuff I kept from you in a box and that I still have. All the mixtapes, the Car Fire albums, the tiara you bought me, all the anniversary presents… all the pictures… I’ve hauled them over several states. I took it by accident to London once. I just can't get rid of anything. I never look at what's inside, whatsoever. I don’t need to, but it's always there cause, you know… cause I’m a pathetic loser and I never got over you.”
You feel your face going numb as you finish saying that, and when you look at his eyes, you see that his smile has disappeared too. Is he pitying you? It’s the only thing you can read on his expression right now, and you instantly regret telling him that.
He opens his mouth to talk, but he takes too long to respond. And before he can say anything, you promptly stand up and try to head out the door.
Surfing the crowd, you bump into Pam.
“Hey, I was looking for you. Come on, games are starting. Sit down.”
“I was going to—” You point at the door with your thumb, but she doesn’t hear you. She grabs your arm and takes you to the tables where everyone is gathering.
Your weak protest attempt goes unheard by your friend, who leaves you alone once more to explain the first game on the microphone as someone else starts handing a sheet filled with trivia questions to everyone. They range from school-specific questions to 1996 pop culture. This is the last thing you wanna do right now, but you pick up a pen and start filling your answers without putting too much thought into them.
“Hi—” the high-pitched feedback from the microphone tears your eyes from the paper, and you find Duncan back on stage, strapping a guitar to his shoulder.
“I’m sorry I’m taking the stage again,” he says as the people from the organization committee start asking him to get down, with Pam fuming on the side.
“Actually, I’m not sorry. There’s someone here today and she… she opened her heart to me and I just stood there like an idiot cause I’m not good with words like she is. I… I thought I could say better with a song.”
You lock eyes with him instantly. You can see him swallowing the lump in his throat as he positions his hands on the guitar. He looks down at the strings for a beat before letting his fingers play the first chords. After a moment, his voice joins the melody in a mid-tempo rock ballad…
Your voice knocks down my own pride, All the things you wrote, all the things you shared. Sleepless nights, restless days. Guess I never figured out, How to let go, how to walk out.
Wish I had gone along, But baby, it’s too late now. If I could go back, I’d rewrite our last goodbye Instead of losing you that night.
There’s nothing like a fatal flaw, Caught up in my own fears and lies, I pushed you away, said you weren’t it. You walked away, I stayed right here Watching the years slip by.
Wish I had gone along, But baby, it’s too late now. If I could go back, I’d rewrite our last goodbye Instead of losing you that night.
And just for kicks, let’s pretend it’s 1996, We’re flying high, we’re back in that field The grass holding us up, watching stars collide.
Wish I had gone along…
Please tell me it’s not too late…
I’ll wait for you to say… baby, there’s still a chance.
The gym goes silent when the last chord fades away, and you can’t hear anything over the sound of your beating heart as you study every word sung in his song. You’re aware that all eyes are on you, expecting to see your next move, but you’re paralyzed in your seat.
Someone starts clapping, and the rest of the gym follow suit, breaking the spell you’re in.
You raise up from your chair and head out the door at a fast pace while the party resumes like nothing happened. You make it all the way to the courtyard and when you look back you see him following several yards behind, closely catching up.
Your feet come to a halt by the fountain, and you wait for him to face you.
“You know, you’re a liar,” you utter as he stops in front of you.
“All I said in that song was true.”
“No, you said you weren't good with words. I beg to differ.”
“You liked it?”
“Well, it wasn’t Bohemian Rhapsody, but it was good. It sounded like Oasis in their good years.”
“I mean, no one can beat Bohemian Rhapsody,” he snorts, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging in true Duncan fashion.
“Did you really mean it? If you could take it back, would you? You think we would’ve made it?”
“I meant every word of it, sweetheart. I never wanted to be with anyone else. I don’t know if we would have made it. I’d like to think that in another universe we did… You said you kept everything and I just choked up cause I did the same thing. I could never let you go, you know?”
“So, we’re just two wallowing assholes that couldn’t pick up the phone in 10 years?”
“Guess we are.”
“What do we do now?” You ask, folding your arms against your stomach.
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I’m not the same person you remember, Duncan. We can’t just pick it up like nothing happened.”
“I don’t think I am, either. Maybe we could just stay in contact and see where that goes?” He takes out a hand out of his pocket that comes with a cell phone attached to his fingers. “Here, put your number in there.”
“It's funny,” he says as you pick it up from his hand and start typing your number in his contacts.
“What's funny?”
“Us being here, standing on the same spot where I first asked you out.”
You gaze away from the phone for a second. “Right, I didn't notice that. What was it? Homecoming?”
“That's right.”
When you're done saving your number, you call yourself to have his number registered on your end and give it back with a warning look, “don’t make me regret this.”
“I won’t. I give you my word.” Duncan purposely clutches his fingers softly around your hand when reaching for the phone. He uses his opposite hand to caress the shape of your knuckles.
The familiar touch makes your hair stick out, your breath gets caught in the knot of your throat, wrapped in a layer of regrets and unsaid words. There’s an I love you trying to force its way out, but you don’t let it. You can’t. It’d be ridiculous if you did. Instead, you step closer and cup his face. He lets out a sigh, preparing for what’s coming as your face shortens the distance. The same magnetic pull that brought you to him the first time over ten years ago takes hold of you as you capture the warmth of his lips in a tender kiss. His hands, driven by that same force, smoothly travel to your waist to hold you closer against him. You sway with the gentle breeze as you allow your lips to move with his to the sweet rhythm of that song that still lingers in the way his tongue delves past your lips. As you're drawn into the depth of his mouth, you curl your arms around his neck in a tight lock as one of your hands slides into the back of his hair. He moans in your mouth as a reaction to your fingers massaging his scalp. It’s easy to get lost in that moment and forget how to breathe as your lips ache for more, for all those missed years of kisses, you suddenly feel fused with him making up for all that lost time.
You’re not sure who pulls back first, perhaps it’s both.
He’s just as breathless as you are when your lips part and your foreheads meet instead.
“Wow,” he says under a shallow breath.
“Yeah, wow,” your lips draw a smile.
“Do you wanna go back inside?”
You shake your head. “I like it here.”
— Credits: beautiful divider by @firefly-graphics
#jon bernthal#duncan carmello x reader#the class#duncan carmello#jon bernthal fanfiction#the class fanfiction#darlingwrites#bernthirst tv tribute#fluff#fanfiction
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Cool? Cool.
Pairing: Jake Kim x GN!Reader
Summary: An awkward rendezvous with Big Deal's leader.
Genre/Trope: Friends to enemies to friends to more(?). Non established relationship. Can be viewed as platonic as well.
Warnings: Cussing, self/oc indulgence? (I mostly wrote this for myself), no use of Y/n, MIGHT be OOC Jake (judge them yourself, this my first time writing for Lookism).
A/N: It's been TWO YEARS since I post fanfics so I might be lil stiffy, bare with me chat. I DON'T do request btw!
Masterlist
“Man, so what now? We just…went back to stop being allies?” You questioned bluntly.
It's been a few days since the Hunt for Gun event. Everything went back to how it was. Or some would say, for the better. You weren't exactly on any sides of the crew. Scratch that, you were one of the Workers. And to be fair, you sort of still carry that guilt. Like Samuel, you wanted- no, needed money. Again, scratch that, you aren't exactly like him, God bless. You just have responsibilities at home that need to be taken care of.
Because first of all, being a broke college student got you into this shit and you practically worked your ass for it. You just wanted to pay for your student loans, bills and groceries. Second of all, news flash, Korea ain't as great as influencers described them to be. When you first moved here, you were still expecting the struggles of the norm. Not fighting gangsters. Let alone joining one.
Thirdly, you know basic martial arts. You know what, fuck that. You're actually pretty decent at it. Sparring and training with these dudes around you, paid off. And through the journey you gained friendship, learning to understand different types of people. That includes multiple reality checks, unlocking new traumas as the list goes on. Part of you have thought of the alternatives and the what ifs. While the other half is actually grateful.
“It never has to be that way, you know?” Daniel replied, offering a soft smile.
You wanted to ask if the whole fighting and scheming thing is over, now that Charles Choi is gone. So is the matter of the Red Note. But you keep those questions to yourself, knowing it's far from done when Gun is still alive even if he's in juvie. Besides, he's not the only bad guy they need to watch out for.
You shrugged sheepishly, hands shoving into your pockets. “Right.” Your head turned to the ground for a bit. Daniel senses this and continues, “We're still friends, right?”
You looked up relieved by his words, “Of course. You're cool. You too, Jay.” You added. The blond gave you a big sincere smile as you bent down to pet the puppies. They equally ushered closer for attention. Your expression softened before exhaling.
“Hey.” You started, taking a second to collect your words. “You think Big Deal would diss the hell out of me if I go in their turf? I need to talk to Jake.”
Daniel shrugged back, giving his usual reassuring energy. “I don't think so, after everything. You want us to accompany you there?” You shake your head, mimicking his smile, “I'm good. Thanks though.”
It was by then you found yourself stepping in Big Deal’s street. You weren't a coward, but you still hold respect for each of Four Major Crews. If you are being honest, you didn't even belong here. You're just a person who was caught up with your own personal issues and was left with no options but to use physical violence for your own selfish gain. It wasn't selfish, you told yourself. You just have your own goal and achievement like everyone else.
You were immediately recognised and being semi interrogated by the other Big Deal members due to your sudden and random arrival. You kept your tone as calm as possible. Getting straight to the business and voila! There's Jake.
You muttered a thanks to Jerry before turning to your old friend. Ice breaking sucked, this everyone can relate. But man, you acted like an ex begging to get together with him again. “Sooo……”
You trailed awkwardly, eyes darting everywhere in the room except him. “Big Deal's boss doing paperworks, huh? Guess nobody escaping that.” You tried to humour him, to light up the mood, anything. And luckily, he stifled a chuckle. Or a subtle exhale, you counted it as that either way.
“Yeah, well, it's my responsibility now.” Jake replied, shifting in his chair while leaning back.
To put it simply, you and Jake aren't completely strangers. You two were somewhat colleagues, let's put it that way. You never dare ask about the friendship part. Are you two even friends? Buddies? Amigos?
I mean you're very much aware of Big Deal's history. Jake isn't so secretive, mind you. You've privately met Sinu himself before, good man. You're most definitely familiar with Samuel. And by God, you weren't very fond of him. But you didn't judge him either, and as mentioned, everyone here has a personal goal. You've managed to exchange conversation with him from time to time. If I may say so myself, a LOT. Boy, was he an interesting character.
When you first joined Workers, you were clueless. Eugene offered you good deals. Obviously you hesitated in the begining. You were no fool, you knew what you signed up for. Fortunately for you, you weren't involved too much. You did side jobs, mostly undercover. When Jake finds out, he confronts you. Which actually surprised you. You fought him. You fought everyone else while sticking to the white uniform. Although he can definitely tell you held back at that moment.
“No hard feelings, Jake.” You said back then before getting into stance. You took his hit many times, hardly using your full strength before discovering you were just buying him time to let others finish their business. And he didn't blame you either. He felt bad. Guilty even, that he couldn't offer you better hospitality, better support. And yes, he admits that he was kinda cold back then. He never gets the chance to apologize. But he does now as you basically presence yourself to him.
“You aight? You know, after all the…” You trailed, subtly recalling the recent fiasco. He blinked before nodding, “Just peachy. You?” You nodded back. “Yeah.”
As if it couldn't get any awkward, you were starting to regret showing your face here. On top of that, he wasn't any near being his suave self. He had it fine with the others but with you? There's an unfinished business. He thought it's odd. It's exactly the same scenario that happened between him and Samuel, yet the tension wasn't supposed to be this palpable as far as he know.
“I'm sorry-” You both said in sync, now looking at each other weirdly. Chuckling nervously, you both did it again, “You first. No, you. Not me, you. Fuck.”
Sighing, you both let out small genuine laughters. “No, seriously. You first.” he offered.
You nodded, “No hard feelings, right?”
He smiled, “No hard feelings. It's good to see you again.” You returned the smile, the burden finally left your shoulders. “Same here. You didn't break a bone. I'm not surprised.”
He leaned forward, folding his arms on the desk. His arms bulging through the fabric doesn't go unnoticed. “Well, colour me surprised. You didn't either.” He joked back. His mood has lifted as did yours. You rolled your shoulders, pretending to flex slightly. “I tried.”
“Say,” Your expression turned slightly serious, still with a bit of amusement in your tone. “I guess I owe you a jack of explanation, huh?”
He tilted his head, “Oh? Do you, now? Lemme check.” He pretended to go through his paperworks. You just chuckled, shaking your head at his sense of humour. “Asshole. I'm serious.”
Jake faced you again, “I know. And I'm listening. We can get food while we're at it.”
“Let me guess, my treat?” You raised a brow.
He gets off from his seat, his duty now left abandoned. “C’mon, I'm not a monster.” Slinging his arm around your shoulder as he leads you to the exit.
#lookism x reader#lookism jake kim#jake kim#kim gimyung#lookism kim gimyung#lookism#lookism fic#lookism manhwa#manhwa#x reader#fanfic#dood writes!#lookism imagines#lookism imagine#lookism samuel#self ship#self insert#self indulgent#lookism x you#x you#x y/n#x yn#imagines#imagine#fic#my writing
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Art Tag
Thank you @deathclassic and @doshiart for tagging me!
How did you start drawing? What year was it that you become more seriously and consciously interested in it?
I always drew, and didn't think too hard about it. I chose art electives whenever I could in middle and high school. I specifically chose to NOT major in art in college because "I need a real career." Joke's on me ... I ended college with a degree in fine arts/illustration.
When you felt the urge to share your art with other people? When did you start posting your drawings on social media?
I shared art with friends pre-internet. We'd pass images around at slumber parties and draw art as gifts. I posted online for the first time in the late 90s, illustrations for horror stories that I drew.
Your first/earliest drawing. What were your impressions of it back then and what are your feelings now?
I was always meant to be an illustrator rather than a straight-up artist. Here is a book I created in 1981. I loved it! My spelling wasn't bad for being 6 years old.
Your first fanart ever 1986. This image from Poltergeist II. I flipped to the back page of my sketch book and drew it in secret.
Your first gallavich fanart Kinktober 2021. Charcoal and spray paint.
When you had bad days and things didn't work out, what inspired you to keep trying? I think it was the confidence instilled in me by a supportive family. I never felt like a bad day meant doom and gloom; it just meant things weren't working that day. I don't have qualms about throwing out a piece that isn't working and starting over.
Show your old piece that you strongly dislike and tell why. I don't hang on to pieces that I dislike. They've vanished in time.
Show your old piece that you very like and tell why. What's the difference with the previous? I drew this with colored pencils in 1988. I was proud of how closely it matched the album cover.
Show your old piece that you were very proud of back then. This is one of my first horror story illustrations, for "That Hell-Bound Train" by Robert Bloch.
Do you do any practice sketches or warm-ups before you draw something big? Sure! Here are a few.
Sketch vs Final. Show your process. This is from the Big Bang 2021, for Lem's story!
Your most recent drawing. (Everyone has seen this already -- LOL)
Give yourself some praise! Look at what improved in your art! Do I have to? I don't like to compliment myself because I'm still learning, even after all these years. I can draw more photographically now, but I was looser/freer in the past. Who's to say which is better?
Any advice you'd give to your earlier self? Never stop taking figure drawing classes!
Set a goal for yourself for the coming year. To not let the doubt creep in and keep pushing boundaries. To develop more of a personal style.
Tagging some of my favorite artists ... @deedala @michellemisfit (thinking of you babe!) @vintagelacerosette @darthvaders-wife @heymrspatel
@gallawitchxx @filorux @crossmydna
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"Softer doesn't necessarily mean better," Benjamin offered. "I've met all sorts of women -- rich, poor, cruel and kind -- but the ones who are soft are typically little more than grinning puppets. I have no interest in speaking with someone who regurgitates the latest Parisian fashions, or can name a work of art, yet clearly has no capacity to say why the piece moves them." He shrugged. "Experience generates interest. Even if you lashed me within an inch of my life with that tongue of yours, I'd far rather hear you call me a jingle-brained mopus than listen to any flighty, bottle-headed socialite discuss the weather patterns -- without, of course, actually understanding said weather."
Perhaps he was being cruel. Just like Benjamin had unkindly made assumptions about Fantine, it was quite possible that he was doing the same about these women he continuously found within his orbit.
Fortunately, Fantine seemed far more taken by the charms of the ocean than his brief diversion. He found himself mirroring her smile, his eyes crinkling warmly around the edges. "Where is your hometown?" he asked. "I've always lived by the seaside...in fact, staying here is the longest I've ever been away from it. I don't have saltwater in my veins, unlike one of my best friends, but I assuredly miss the breezy air and the rare reprieve of just lazing about along the sand."
Suddenly realizing just what she had said, Benjamin's smile faded and he blinked in surprise. "Oh... You've never been to the sea? Ever?" he asked. With a sheepish little smile, he apologized, "I'm sorry...there I go again, prattling away before fully assessing the situation. Clearly, not everyone lives by water, so it's foolish to assume we all can afford such trips. But I'd be glad to take you, if...i-if you wanted? Though if you don't get sick of the ocean after sailing to America for days on end, that'll be the true testament to your fortitude."
A look of shyness graced her features, and Benjamin felt a jolt rush through him at her kind declaration.
"You would be a wonderful father."
"I certainly hope so," he murmured, his cheeks pinkening with pleasure. "I can never presume to be lucky enough -- perhaps this is all I'm meant to do in this life -- but whatever my true path, I'm trying my best to enjoy it."
Barely suppressing a snort, he agreed, "Father will have to wait. Unless he wants grandchildren out of wedlock -- which, at this point, perhaps he is willing to turn a blind eye -- he'll have no choice but to allow things to take their course."
An amiable silence fell between them, soft and warm, before Fantine pleaded for a bit of companionship. In truth, Benjamin didn't understand why she seemed so ashamed by the request. He'd always been accustomed to sleeping near others -- during boyhood, he was with his brother; in college, his dear friend, Hale; in the war, his fellow officers -- so why would he find it so strange to wish for a bit of company?
"It's not a lot to ask at all," he reassured. "I can barely sleep, if you want the honest truth, so I don't mind sitting up. It's not like I would've been asleep by now anyway." Here, he gently took her elbow, attempting to steer her toward her bed. "Get in," he encouraged. "I'll pull up a chair and wait until I know you're asleep."
Fantine's heckles finally relaxed. She wanted so much to relax and displace her baggage if only for a short moment. Her knuckles were white with how tightly she clutched it, arms aching with the weight of it. It was as if she was scared Benjamin could take it and dig through it; find aspects of her beyond what he already knew and use it to wound her further.
As they tiptoed around one another, Fantine was beginning to realise with more certainty that this man did not wish to do anything of the sort. Where her anxiety rested, Cosette became that bridge between them— common ground to which they could speak honestly.
"I know she will, I want that for her, too." It was something she would never have been able to provide Cosette alone. His interference had become a blessing in disguise; for Cosette at first, but now for Fantine. She did not comment on her supposed input in Cosette's intelligence or development... they had been apart for so long, what little Fantine had managed to provide seemed so long ago now. "I'm not a particularly good marker for knowing if you're charming a woman or not. Do not let me put you off— many women are softer than me."
Fantine listened with genuine interest, the spark of hope bringing life to long since dead eyes. Admittedly, Setauket didn't appeal to her in the slightest. In fact, it invited a familiar sense of nausea; the reason she had become as she had was because of a small, in-each-other's-pockets community. The mention of his father caused an involuntary grimace. If he was as religious a man as Benjamin said he was, then she could only imagine what he would think of a woman such as Fantine— although perhaps her moral failings would discourage the idea that there was anything between them in that way.
"The sea?" she repeated, the slightest smile touching her lips not dissimilar to childish excitement. "My hometown is not far from the sea, but... well, I never got a chance to visit."
Fantine felt a slight blush spread across her cheeks. Every now and then she caught herself hoping, only to reel it back just in case. "You would be a wonderful father." Her head nodded as she spoke, almost trying to reinforce her words. "Your love extends beyond Cosette. I can see how much you care about children and their futures. As for your father, he can continue to wait. I understand your lack of patience to some degree, now." Fantine's smile momentarily grew wider before she allowed her hands to fall to her side.
Finally, Fantine dared to glance up, vulnerability taking its opportunity as she swallowed her pride. "I need to sleep, I know... can..." the words stuck in her throat... "can you sit with me until I finally fall asleep again? I know it's a lot to ask, so I won't be offended if you decline."
#songandflame#where your treasure lies#//he's lowkey like okay...try not to talk so much or else you'll ruin everything#cuz he has a bad habit of doing that lol#she deserves all the forehead kisses and seaside trips :' )
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thinking about how summer people enjoy summer break bc they get to go home and see their friends
#boink#that just occurred to me lol#it does make me a little sad that i don't really have friends at home anymore#not that i didn't have any friends before college#but it was the kind of in class at school friends that you don't even get to try to maintain after leaving if that makes any sense#im excited to see my friends back at school next semester lol#im visiting new york this summer which is fucking insane and so exciting#and one of my friends is from new jersey so i might meet up with her#that would be very awesome :))#we shall see!
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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good time to mention im not just a one fandom guy- yep im into FE as well, and my brayne has decided to make that it's current focus (it has a habit of jumping fandom to fandom at random) anyways this was created cause my two friends have no idea what the fuck i am talking about half the time when it comes to Fire Emblem
#fire emblem#EP's shitty memes#yes you can expect me to make aus for Fire Emblem btw#currently dabbling in making an au for Awakening as we speak#and there will prob be more in the future#(as in for both Awakening in specific and the other entries of the franchise too)#but yeah gam good#also as a reminder just cause i have jumped fandoms-#-does not mean i have completely given up on older fandoms#just means it is on partial hiatus in my brayne space#but anyways#its gonna be great when i finally get more details to the FE Awakening au im working on-#-that way i can actually mention it over here#cause i like having several details already decided before mentioning an au#cause if i don't do it that way there would be many an abandoned au posted upon me tumblr#i still live i have just done nothing but play Fire Emblem Awakening this past month#oh and college too i guess#also when i say the two friends know nothing-#-i mean absolutely nothing#they didn't know Awakening saved the franchise until i told them a few days ago#they don't even know the Black Knight's true identity!#i really hope i can get the Tellius games so i can force those two through those games#i want to see if they guess it without *any* hints (or mobile game spoilers)#because you do not get an opportunity like this often#but anyways i rambled enough for a meme post
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1, 13, 15?
1. "Song of the year?"
Definitely "I Want The One I Can't Have" - The Smiths, specifically this one live version. It makes me insane, I've listened to it so many times, and it still makes me super happy
13. "How was your birthday this year?"
I realized the other day that I literally couldn't remember at all what I did on my birthday, and I had to look back at my pictures 😭 I think I just had dinner with my parents? I don't even remember what I ate....Birthdays are a lot less momentous and fun when you're an adult and all your irl friends live at college 3 hours away </3
15. "What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?"
Technically I picked it up last year but definitely my red bull addiction 😬 I drink way too many, way too often
#i was about to say oh woe is me i didn't have any college friends back during my birthday#but then I jsut remembered my friends in my russian class told me happy birthday :)#we had said our birthdays like a few weeks before as a speaking exercise#and the one guy remembered cause we were born i think two days apart?#so yeah they said happy birthday :) which was nice#but otherwise i didnt do anything#i think actually i was pretty depressed on my birthday this year LOL no idea why. i vaguely remember crying#catie.asks.
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i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)
#xelle.txt#i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl#i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group#i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite#and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends#my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with-#-them either#i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too#that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because-#-of my inability to stay consistent#also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway#honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless#to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before#the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol#there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!!#and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader#which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present#anyway#hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working#lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out.#this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS#imma sleep now 😭#idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do#goodnight everypony 🫶#vent tw#rant tw
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guys i laurv college like actually. went out w a group of ppl and went to CVS and a mediocre pep rally. had a really sweet exchange w a bus driver. roommates are going out in a large group to have some of that sweet liquid sillies allegedly. i am alone in my dorm despite thinking i'd be the last one awake i am literally the only one here. and i'm happy i think :D
#nightmare.personal#we have to be up at like 7:30 am though so God bless my poor roommates#it's just two of them out person no 3 is unaccounted for#hypothetically i couldve stayed up but the group i was hanging out w are all roommates#so it was just me sititng in their dorm while they were showering and i was like. i think maybe i should go back to my home domain#but college is seriously kind of great bc like. you can just Do Shit. no parental convos about the logistics of hanging out#if i want to knock on a friends door to see their taxidermied rat and then go out w them at 10 pm#i am well within my God given right to do that!!!!!!#also idk when the RAs come bc this is meant to be quiet hours but people are blasting frank ocean which#it's frank ocean so you cannot be complaining about that but still#ALSO I SAW THIS GUY I'D BEEN TEXTING AT A STORE AND THEN I SAW HIM LATER AT THE RALLY#AND THIR=TY SECONDS BEFORE THE RALLY ENDED I TEXTED HIM SAYING I SAW HIM#AND HE MADE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH ME RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE STARTED LEAVING#IT WAS SO FUNNY. i am seeing him in SO many places and we haven't even hung out yet#also hope the guy that i recced måneskin liked it i didn't do one of their best songs but hopefully thats cool#i just did baby said bc i was gonna do read your diary but thought it'd be too much in hindsight i'd DEFFO do kool kids#IN ANY CASEEEE. idk what to do now just text my gf i guess
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#do i actually feel bad or am i just worried about the possibility of feeling bad#i overthink myself into oblivion its so hard to tell whats real and what im just making up#ramblings#also. ik ive said it before but i'll say it again: this is why i didn't have any premed friends in college#i need a friend who isn't in med school asap or im going to go fucking insane#wouldn't it be nice if i was still in touch with even a single friend from before hahaaaaaa#:|
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#kinda fucked up that 2020 feels like it was just yesterday#and i was like 'damn i guess i havent really felt like a person since then'#but i know that's not true because i didn't feel like a person before that either#I've been in a slow downward spiral since getting covid last year and remembering that the whole time i was in school#i was just doing it because thats what i was told i should do#i dont feel like I've made a single impactful decision ever in my own fucking life#i talked about it with my therapist last year but i cant responsibly afford to go back to her anyways#and its not like ive made any real progress on anything#i probably haven't seen a doctor since i was in high school#i dont know what i want to be called#i dont know what i want to even DO with myself#because I've just been doing whatever my mom says to for so fucking long#i shouldn't have gone to college until i had something i actually wanted to do#and now i have stupid ass loans and for what?#not a fucking degree!#i dropped out four years ago and havent done a goddamn useful thing since!#i feel stupid and useless and directionless#i miss my friends#i wish there was something i was at all good at but i cant even get rid of things i dont want because i dont even know what that means#because if we're looking at it objectively i dont want *any* of the things i have right now#i hate my clothes i hate my room i dont use any of my art tools anymore and even my physical body is rejecting me#i can't even SLEEP right#fucking hell#delete later#my birthday is in a week and im lowkey wondering if it would have been better if my mom never had me lmfao#I've done nothing I've said i was going to do so whats even the point#I've got a cat I've gotta look after for a few days in november so obviously we're gonna keep cruisin but GOD i dont wanna be here#my issues arent even that bad in the grand scheme of things but because theyre happening to me it feels so much more intense because well#my life is the lens in which i experience the world lmfao#ive pretended like everythings fine for all my life but these cracks just keep getting bigger and im really not enjoying that at all!
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