#not that i can complain if im saying i like the calling. one of the more jarring instances of bury your gays
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Homemade Dynamite
TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST
PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader
WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence
WORD COUNT: 2.7k
I'll give you my best side, tell you all my best lines
Seeing me rolling, showing someone else love
Dancing with our shoes off
Know I think you're awesome, right?
March
âHere, take thisâ Sabrina hands me a purple gummie.
âHow much are they?â I take it out of her palm and inspect, giving it a quick whiff.
âLike 10mg. You can take two if you want.â
âWhat if we both take one and a half?â I ask, reaching for the bag she pulled it out of.
âGod I love your brain.â She smiles widely and pops her pink gummie into her mouth. I take a bite it of a green one and pass her the other half.
âHow are you feeling about tonight?â She asks, brushing her hair infront of the mirror.
âWell, I need to get out of the house. So Iâm feeling pretty good. I just hope Noah isnât there.â I murmur the last part and she glances over her shoulder at me with a sympathetic look.
âAnd if he is, we donât have to stay. Or we can get topper to kick him out.â
I sigh and finish zipping my boots up.
âIâll be fine. As long as he leaves me alone, there shouldnât be any problems.â
âAnd what are you going to do if Rafe is there?â I freeze in place and try to act as nonchalant as possible.
âI donât know. Say hello I guessâ I let out a fake chuckle and start to walk around the room looking for my purse.
âYouâre not going to escape to a bathroom with him?âshe jokes. I roll my eyes and walk over to the mirror with her, pulling out my lip liner.
âYouâre hilarious you know that right?â She smiles brightly back at me and places the brush down.
âAlright, I think im ready.â She declares. I finish applying my lipgloss and turn to her.
âLetâs rage.â
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
âThese boots are NOT made for walking in the sand.â I complain to Sab as we walk through the sand to reach the party.
âI swear I thought it was going to be more in the house, since it still kind of chilly, Sorry girlâ
As we approach the bonfire and makeshift bar, we run into many familiar faces, including Noah.
I ignore his group of friends, leaving Sab to chat with some girls from our grade to get a drink.
âIs it possible for a gal to get a sugar free vodka red bullâ I say, leaning over the bar. Topper, who was bartending for the time being, smiled at me when he heard my voice.
âY/N!â He yells. âI feel like I havenât seen you out in a while. â he reaches over the bar and gives me a makeshift hug. I giggle into his shoulder as he pats my back.
âOne sugar free red bull coming up.â He says with a big smile.
âLooks like the pogues have officially set up camp.â I hear Kelceâs voice grumble behind me. I turn and give him a glare. His face goes from annoyed to shocked.
âYN, didnât know you would be making an appearance.â He gives me a side hug and goes behind the bar with Topper.
âIf pogues are here, Y/N is here.â I hear Noahâs voice grovel beside me. I ignore him as Topper hands me my drink. He flashes a look between us, and gives me a look of worry. I shake my head and turn on my heels, walking away without even looking at him.
I walk out to see where the pogues are, and see a small fire a few yards away, closer to the water.
âHeyâ I call out. I watch their heads snap around in defense mode, everyoneâs stiff until they realize its just me. JJ is the first one to run over.
âNo fucking way, the kook princess makes an appearance.â I scoff and accept his embrace.
âHey loserâ I mumble into his shoulder. The rest of the boys join our group hug as the girls giggle from behind.
âWHAT?â Pope shouts out. âWe lost the coolest member of our group. Sue us for being excitedâ
I chuckle at this declaration and give the girls individual hugs.
âIâm still not over being called a kook princess.â I say as I release Sarah.
âAt least theyâre calling you that and not me. Iâm sick of that nicknameâ She says, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.
âI missed you guysâ I say to the group, and they all lift their cups to the sky.
âTo Y/Nâ John B says.
âTO Y/Nâ they all shout.I giggle into my cup and take a sip.
âSo what trouble are we getting into tonight?â I ask, sitting down on a log next to Kie and Cleo.
âRemember when I said we had a plan for those losers that were at the scene of the crime?â Cleo asks me. I shake my head yes and they all snicker around me.
âWell we may or may not have messed with one of their kegs⌠you see its a simple prank really, but I brought backup use in case.â JJ says, flashing a gun in his waistband. My face holds still and I can hear the fire crackle.
âJJ, you wouldnât actually use that would you?â I whisper, barely enough that the group can hear me.
âJust for backup, like I said.â He says, with an unreadable face. I shift uncomfortably and look back to Cleo.
âThe prank on the keg is funny. I'm excited to see how that goes.â She gives me a smile and clinks her red solo cup against mine.
âMe too girlâ
After catching up with the boys, I notice my drink is empty, and the edible is hitting. Hard.
âI need to find Sab and get another drinkâ I mumble to the group before using Kieâs shoulder as a crutch to stand.
âJJ would you ..â I hear Kie say to JJ. He shoots up and walks over to grab my arm.
âLetâs get you some water little lady.
ââm not little Jayâ I grumble. Feeling the weight of the sand i'm standing on, the vibrations through my fingertips and the disgusting taste in my mouth. We make it up to the bar, and a new group of guys, probably sophomores at Kook academy working the bar this time.
âCan we get some water? And a few beers?â He asks. The boys glare at him, but they seem to recognize me enough to still get the water, neither of them addressing JJ, and passing the cup directly to me. He leaves the rest of the beers on the bar, and JJ reaches over dramatically to grab them.
âThanksâ I mumble turning to face JJ.
âLetâs go back to the water eh?â He starts to grab my arm and turn me before I halt and push against his chest.
âSaid I wanted to find Sab.â I state, looking him hard in the eyes.
âAlright lets find Sabrina. Where would she be?â He asks, still holding onto my arm.
âWith Topâ I grumble, trying to take a step and falling into JJ.
âAlright, and where would Topper be?â He asks, holding me upright and looking around nervously. I felt bad. This situation probably looked bad. I was a mess, at the height of the edible, al I wanted was to find my best friend and giggle, but im no fucking help as to where she would be.
âWait, what if I call her?â I say, pulling out my phone from my jeans.
âGood idea, lets go over hereâ
he pulls me to a corner of the party that isnât heavily populated, the phone rings a few times before she finally answers.
âSab where are you?â I ask frantically.
âInsideâŚ. but weâre with rafe.â She whispers the last part and I grit my teeth.
âWhere?â She tells me the room and how to get there, and I drag J by his arm through the crowd of people to reach the room.
âGive me thatâ I say, ripping one of the cups of beer out of his hands, chugging it as fast as I possibly could before tossing the cup. He stands there, shocked, and in his time of weakness I grab the other, chugging it fast as well. I continue to drag him up the stairs. We were a few feet away from the door before a hiccup escapes my lips and I turn to face JJ. He stops dead in his tracks so he doesnât run into me.
âSab is in there, but we gotta be careful, Iâm not sure what weâre walking intoâ that was my best way of telling him rafe was behind the door and was going to absolutely hate seeing us together.
âIs it okay if im going in here with you?â He asks, scratching the back of his head.
âYou really give a fuck? You brought a gun anywaysâ he shrugs his shoulders and follows behind me closely.
âBefore we go in, can you promise me you wont use that, unless its extremely necessary. Like life or death?â I beg, holding onto his arm.
âLife or death only.â He promises. I look him dead in the eyes for a moment before turning the doorknob.
When we enter the room,it's filled with smoke, and a bunch of random people that probably knew the owner of this house better than me. What was his name again?
I look around, trying to find Sabrina in the cloud of smoke. I spot her across the room, on Topperâs lap, right next to him is Rafe, leaning over the glass table, snorting a line.
âRight rightâ Jj says, sighing and giving me a look before I drag him over to the other side of the room.
âY/N!â Sabrina shrieks before jumping off of Toppers lap to give me a hug.
âHi mama I was missing youâ I exclaim, hugging her back tightly.
âHi JJâ she says, and he responds back with a head nod.
My eyes trail off to the left of Sabrina to see tha rafe is completely avoiding eye contact with me, rubbing the tip of his nose and lifting his hips up to pull out his phone. I roll my eyes and look back at Sab, leaning into her ear
âItâs hitting.â I say,smiling big and giggling
âDude me too im fucking friedâ she says back into my ear, giggling back
âWhy donât we go play in the waterâ i say, grabbing onto her wrist. Her eyes widen.
âThatâs the best idea Iâve heard all fucking nightâ she shouts, turning to topper.
âWeâre going down to the beach. You comin?â She holds out her other hand to him, he exchanges a look with rafe, then topper looks at me, JJ, then back at sabrina
âYea Iâll come.â He softly states. He taps rafes shoulder and nudges his head at us. I donât look long enough to see Rafes reaction, I just turn to JJ, as he leads the way back to where we were outside with the pogues.
Once we reach them, I finally turn around to see Sabrina and Topper following right behind, with a fucked up out rafe trailing behind. I could always tell when he was coked out, not because of his pupils, but he stood a certain way. His legs when he walked were a lot more straight, like he was focusing on each step he made. He ran his hands through his hair a lot, which is exactly what he was doing right now.
I was disgusted with both myself and him for knowing what he was like when he was doing coke. I always wondered if he was embarrassed too.
we reach back to the edge of the sand, and I lean over to take my boots off.
âWait you were serious?â Sab asks, Lookin to topper, her head leaning against his bicep.
âDead seriousâ I state. Pulling off my socks before running towards the water.
The cold water against my toes runs a chill up my leg and I squeal out.
âFUCK ITS COLDâ I shout back at the group watching me, all the pogues, plus Topper and Rafe.
âCouldâve told you that!â Sarah exclaims, leaning down to touch the water with her hands. I walk further down into the water, getting my jeans wet. I couldnât help myself from venturing down enough to my calves. I needed the feeling to wake me up. Before, I could feel myself getting hazy, but this was waking me up.
âAlright y/n, I think thatâs enoughâ Kie calls out,walking into the water. I could tell she was shocked by the cold at the way her body tensed.
âYou guys are so boringâ I mumble before turning back to the open water one last time. I took in a deep breath, and turned back, walking back into the sand.
âLetâs go back to the fireâ Sarah says, holding onto my shoulder. We get back to the fire and I noticed that topper and rafe still stayed with us,
I look across and see rafe, his face hard and cold.
I furrow my brows and take my phone out to see that I had a missed text from him
The fuck are you dragging JJ around like that for?
and now youâre about to drown in that fuck ass ice cold water.
I roll my eyes and text him back
not like you wouldâve saved me anyways
I look back up to see him, his face still the same. Before I could read the rest of his demeanor, I hear topper raise his voice. Rafe and I break eye contact to look over to see Topper smack the red solo cup out of JJâs hand.
âOh noâ Cleo hissed, backing up.
âFuck did you say to me you dirty fucking Pogue?â Topper seethed. JJ had a sly smirk on his face, and I watched his hands raise. Fuck.
He shoves Topper, and all hell breaks loose. Multiple punches are thrown between the two, JJ trying to knock Topper off his feet. Rafe starts running towards them and I scream out
âDONâTâ he whips his head back and looks at me with a pleading face.
âDonâtâ I whispered. My pleas were ignored when John B started punching Topper, which made the fight unfair. It was only right that Rafe joined. I knew the rules of the jungle far too well. It would be all downhill from here. The boys keep shouting profanities at each other, as we stand in a circle watching and pleading them to stop. The closer we get, the deeper into the water they go. Before I know it, John b slips and falls, his head dunking under water. I scream out and run to the edge. My head felt light and my vision blurred. I couldnât tell what was happening, it was so dark, the waves were crashing, and I was fucked up.
Before he could keep his head above water for more than a few breaths, a figure dunked his head under again, holding it down with force.
âWHAT THE FUCK STOP IT HE CANT BREATHEâ I screamed, a pair of arms holding me back. I didnt know who it was, but they dragged me back for enough that my feet were no longer touching the water, just wet sand.
âSTOP IT. STOP IT.â I heard Sarah screaming. I think at this point I was on the verge of blacking out. The rest of the next few events came in a blur.
âSomebody do somethingâ I half whispered and half screamed.
I watch another male figure stand behind the man with a dark object in his hands. Thereâs a click, and he points it at the man who was still holding John B underwater. It had to be JJ. I feel tears streaming down my face and I can barely breathe.
âYo HES GOT A GUNâsomeone from the crowd hollers out. a cry escapes my lips as I lunge forward, still being held back by a stranger.
âJJ! Kiara screams out. I recognize her voice, but donât see where it came from. My legs wobble and I struggle to keep myself up. I was terrified John B was going to die and someone was going to get shot.
âYeah YOU KNOW WHAT THAT ISâ I hear JJ shout.
âJJ PLEASEâ I cry out, my voice hoarse.
âWhatâs that princess?â He calls back. Iâm taken aback and try to run after him again, slightly getting out of the strong grip against me, before I see Sarah running over to them.
âSARAH NOâ Kie and I shout in unison.
I held my breath, waiting to see what would happen. Every breath felt like an eternity. I couldnât imagine how John B felt, his arms were still flailing. God I hope thatâs not rafe.
The person that JJ was holding a gun to raised his arms in defeat, and John B lifted his head up gasping for air. The pair of arms finally let me go as we all ran after to make sure he was okay. Before we could reach him though, JJ turns around and raises the gun in the air.
âOKAY EVERYONE LISTEN UP. GET THE HELL. OFF MY SIDE OF THE ISLAND.â
The last thing I remember are gun shots going off.
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Tags: @ltristessedureratoujours @davinashifts333 @tomholland792
#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe x you#obx x y/n#rafe cameron x you#obx x you#outer banks#rafe fanfic#rafe x oc#rafe fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#outer banks fanfiction#obx kooks#obx pogues#obx fic#rafe obx#obx fanfiction#obx ff
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?
genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.
if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.
#'they dont take as many risks as shadowbringers and endwalker!!' okay one WHAT risk did ENDWALKER take lmao#and two DID YOU PLAY PAST ZORMOR LMAO?????????? HELLO?????????? DID YOU LEAVE TULIYOLLAL??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#like i genuinely think you guys just complain about shit without actually playing the game#god forbid you have to learn about another world#some people heard this was stormblood 2 and immediately gave up caring#oh im sorry you were able to care about literal racist elves in cold france but a refugee? a non white civilization? oh i see#shadowbringers literally set up its societies too they were already in war dawntrail wasnt already#i think people should replay stormblood. it was never a bad expansion and i dont know what people are talking about???#half of the complaints i see for stormblood are racist and the other half werent reading any of the dialogue#'the horrors of war expansion has horrors of war in it i just wanna play on the playground with gay elves'#bitches will literally say they dont understand stormblood or dawntrail and then say yotsuyu was justified zenos is hot and wuk lamat is bad#why play a fantasy game if youre not interested in exploring new worlds#dawntrail takes so many more risks than shadowbringers and endwalker combined and sticks the landing with just about all of them#i think my only problem was how many times theg brought up they arent related by blood. no i can tell lol#some of yall are just haters that cant form their own opinion and are just mindlessly nodding along to somebody#you follow on twitter that was gonna hate DT regardless because zenos didnt come back to life this time#consume new media. go do side quests. touch grass. walk a trail at dawn and perhaps you have appreciation for story building#you guys are pathetic and i wish you the worst <3#dawntrail's twists are on par with shb and stb thats why i call it the love child of stormblood and shadowbringers#ffxiv
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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characters that make sense to be living in wayne manor without much if any explanation: bruce, alfred, damian, tim, cass
#so so often im reading fic n going like 'STEPH? are you insane'#bruce & alfred: yeah. self explanatory#dick: would but only under circumstances where he Has To for someone else's sake#jason: grown ass man who fights his foster dad every chance he gets#which could also be a description of dick during certain times but i digress#tim: he'd try very hard not to but i can technically imagine him ending up there without a mission related reason so he makes the cut#steph: she has a whole ass mom. disrespectful to her to pretend steph would rather live w bruce tbh#damian: yes but he'd complain about it. at least it has enough room for his personal petting zoo.#cass: enigma. she can do whatever idc enough to figure her out.#she bores me still ngl#the closest i ever got to caring about cass was when i was reading rumors about a scrapped catholic arc for her lol#duke: another where im pretty sure he ends up having relatives that he can go to and having him live w bruce instead feels odd#but also im a new earth bitch not a prime one so idk what his life is like#honorable mention: babs: are you insane. grown ass woman. only semi-recently has been deaged to hell and i do not respect that call from DC#unless she and bruce are married there is no reason for her to be there lmao#i say honorable mention bc that ones rare as hell. thank god.
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thinking about them and banging my head against the wall again whats new. they are making me so emo. god. what the fuck
#ann plays fates#theyre like all i can think about rn#its that time of the year#i mean i think about them both constantly separately but its always when september comes#do i get hit with the laslow/nyx rarepair brainrot i think#that just lasts through fall and winter#not that im complaining. i think eventually i will have posted the entire fucking conversation#i cant help it. each part gives me a segment of dialogue to be ill about#i have âbut with burdens so heavy dont you think we can lean on eachother a bit?â on my wall#ROMANCE. TO ME (girl who is aroace)#also underrated thing about them i like how nyx flirts back#its more prevalent in their A support but shes so fun with him even beyond the bonding over traumatic pasts#i think with laslow he does a lot of flirting right bc hes laslow but a lot of the time its like#no ones matching his energy#i was gonna say match his freak but i dont think he has any freak if im so real with u#if he does its buried beneath five metric tons of shame and embarrassment#and i like how his⌠laslow-ness kinda gives nyx space to let loose if that makes sense#like he can match her maturity because he. you know. all of that#but hes still young and so she can find a little bit of reprieve from it all in his attitude and blah blah blah#if that makes sense#they r just so perfect. TO ME#ive only ever written and posted one thing for them but i have like five million (like six) things in my drafts i need to get back#into writing. rarepair hell gotta feed myself#also that was like two years ago it kinda sucks a bit but thats fine its called growth#i just miss them. i dont really have the brainpower to play fates but i have enough to think about them#i mean i played a little but ive mostly just been doing dumb shit with the class system and not rly playing the game#weâll get to it#im supposed to be sleeping
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Please rank all the straight ships 𫶠renee/aaron better be #1 đ
renee/aaron sends me đ
1. Matt/Dan - i would want to be friends with them
2. Abby/Wymack ?
3. everyone else
this is what my google search history looks like now:
#i did not list seth/allison but#iâm sorry itâs just one of my best friends is in a seth/allison type straight relationship#and i already pick up enough phone calls to be there and listen through âhe cheated on me again đâ#and âwell idk why heâs so mad i just made out with another dude at the clubâ#i like to think i have patience but itâs been 2 years and he gave her a âhow to be a good wifeâ printed sheet#with ânever complainâ on the list (yes this was unironic)#and i can only say âim so sorry girl :( maybe itâs time to try being single for a bitâ so many times#thats just seth/allison to me#dan is me#danâs like :( iâm so sorry girl im always here to listen :(#ask tag#aftg
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đśâđŤď¸
#have yall forgotten how to use tumblr or.#i hate hate HATE complaining but out of 500 notes there are three reblogs with tags like am i going crazy why does nobody say anything#did yall hate the fic or what. bc thats the vibe im getting#im not gonna leave tumblr but i really see why ppl do bc its so disheartening#genuinely i am talking to a brick wall#it really makes me want to not put in the effort to write anymore if no one is gonna say anything to my face#sorry for the vent post but im just frustrated#idk if its my fault or tumblrs fault or no ones fault but#like idk what else to do other than beg ppl to interact. and its not just readers i am fully shaming other authors bc you KNOW how bad it is#and you still refuse to read your friends work#how can you call urself mutuals if you never fucking reblog from each other#its so fake and toxic and im sick of it sorry#im not here to cause drama and i know i sound like a whiny bitch but jesus christ you guys
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60-something confessions, weve paid our tribute, what are YOUR confessions
Okay, here goes 10 confessions from me:
1.
I wish we had seen Pyrrahs friendships, I think she and Ren would've been good friends since both of them are so level headed.
I headcanon that they would take care of the school garden together, Pyrrah would struggle a bit with delicate plants but same time be happy to be able to learn from his peers new things for once.
One day she learns that Nora and Ren are orphans. Her respect for them grows, seeing them as so much stronger for not having the same support she had growing up, yet here they are thriving. She makes sure to invite them over during holidays and for other things they possibly missed out on as kids.
She doesn't care for cooking but often goes to shop for ingredients with Nora.
2.
I think Freezerburn is incredibly soft.
Weiss is able to cool down hot-headed Yang and Yang is able to melt away the Ice Queens tsundere tendencies. :'-) <3
3.
I miss seeing the street fashion influence when it comes to designs, ofcourse I understand why it isn't there as much anymore but I can still moan about it.
Yangs' tsuyome-esque looks was my fave, it was fire and I wanted to cosplay it so badly.
Ruby's look reminds me of something I wore when I was 12yo actually
4.
Only on my second watch I realised that Ironwood looks really hot with this look and it's a shame that it got SO little screen time. And same with Winters first look.
5.
Also on my second watch I realised that the straps on Oscars' gloves are green not black ???
6.
Remember bootleg Neptune from volume 4? Yeah he sure exists. But what if he did more?
Weiss is trapped in Atlas, she's lonelier than ever, she can only go to places and events dad approves of. And this guy keeps coming around, maybe they meet at the Schnee Manors garden, why not go for a bad boy?
They have fling going on, for Weiss it's mostly out of boredom and finding him good looking. If she's trapped might as well have fun. Maybe they'll get in trouble or have some other sort of side plot going on together but eventually when Weiss gets a window to escape out of Atlas, she's faced with a decision.
Stay with the guy who obviously finds it insane to trade living high life in Atlas to go chase some pals she met at school in other kingdom. Weiss snaps out of the rose coloured glasses after hearing this, ultimately choosing her friends.
Idk I just wish they let them do the usual young people fuck ups and learning experiences if there's going to be whole volume of them sitting around
7.
Yang's probably closest thing Oscar got for mother figure...
8.
The bird thing. Make Raven tell Weiss and Yang how the experience was as she remembers, give them reason to be shocked. So here's my suggestion:
Maybe the process was violent since current humans aren't used to magic in any shape, they're stripped from their autonomy in that moment and it's humiliating.
Like Amber was in the chamber beneath Beacon, Oz did it to Branwens there in similar way? Underground to not attract grimm, no one to hear their screams, its cold and dark, they're stripped like Amber to act as guinea pigs for this man.
Qrow has (more or less) made peace with all that trauma and what happened since he thinks its suffering for the greater good. After all, the man doesn't really have home to go back to. He doesn't want to bring misfortune to people he loves and the tribe doesn't really want him back.
However Raven learns that Salem can't be beaten, meaning she and Qrow suffered for only to be ideal candidates for a suicide mission...
9.
I want Qrowin angst, please crwby, I want to suffer lmao
Give Qrow absolutely losing it, calling Winter after Atlas falls asking her if she knows where the kids are? Where did she last saw them?
And when Winter tries to answer Qrows questions she can't bring herself to say it; they're gone. She was there and she couldn't save them, not even her own sister. The words just won't come out... and after the silence she tells him to meet her in Vacuo, after all he deserves to know.
Whatever differences they had in the past feel so miniscule now.
(Aaand I headcanon that both of them craved for a "normal" family, making this little story even more horrible!)
10.
Yang "shooting" kids' leg on live TV should've had more consequences me thinks. Give me atleast someone commenting or being vary of her.
Her arm is brand new Atlas tech according to Tai, maybe someone would see it as an issue after finding out that she got it for free from Ironwood himself.
Maybe anti Yang propaganda being showed around town could've pushed her to work with Robyn (lol)
"Quite frankly miss I'm about to piss myself right about now, so this one is on the house"
#long one#now we will just wait and see what happens lmao#oh yeah lowkey about the third one#theres rwby tuber who calls the accessories the characters have as âbutt capesâ#and it makes me irrationally annoyed ?#because girlypop just google Visual Kei or rokku gyaru and you see that its not too uncommon to accessorise (especially pants) like that đ¤¨#like how can you simultaneously complain that the guys usually get to wear âjust pantsâ but then say the accessories âdont do anythingâ?????#Aaarrggghh#obviously you can disagree with me but please#p l e a s e#when Ruby herself has this gothic lolita inspired look why wouldnt there be influences from other styles too?!?!?!?!?#znndkwdkwkMndnwosfgk im going to eat dry wall#and i took that personally
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Pick your head up, Queen. Your crown's falling off.
Im going to kill you
#ask#anon#and call u a fag#sorry but im actually pissed#fuck this shit i have time for nothing ill have to get my driving license in civilian bc there aint no way im going back to those retards#on that shitty base that backstab u like rats#friday i get back after 3 weeks some retardes sgt i dont even know doesnt even say hi and straight up insults me#now im guard duty 3 days in a row#you can do everything perfectly for 2 years without complaining and no ones gonna notice but when 1 thing hits out its over#fuck this shit
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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how does one like. get a binder
#like ik how#im priveleged enough to be able to buy one#ik ehic5h company id go with#but its like im waiting for permission#which no one can really give me#like i could wait til im registered back with the doctor's but even if i was brave enough to bring it up they'd either say just don't#or your asthma is completely fine like they always do#like im the best placed to gauge if my lungs can handle wearing one#really i want someone to come along and say it'll help you're allowed this it wont be a waste of money#and you won't have to share with your parents the specifics of your dysphoria#when i could barely come out without apologizing for it even tho they were ok with it#if it were anyone else i cannot emphasize how behind them id be but when its myself im just stuck going in circles#im gon try and call sib at lunchtime and order it then bc yesterday was really not pleasant#a properly fitted binder can't be much more uncomfortable than a too small sports bra surely#and im already good at taking breaks w that so#we'll see ig#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#not to complain abt being a skinny person w a big chest when society is obsessed w skinny ppl w big chests#but JFC
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god it's like i'm living a constant nightmare. i don't do this shit for my health. this stupid bullshit got so far that my friend is suffering both emotionally and through his income and none of these people are comprehending how massively serious this is.
#im so fucking tired. it's so scary seeing this shit happening to my loved one and cosplayer man is complaining essentially#that i'm not being mature or rational about this shit#like i'm supposed to continue being pleasant and amicable like i usually would be#like i'm not seeing how massively this is affecting my loved one#and sure you can be sorry all you want and i'm sure you are! but you can't expect me to 100 percent be on board when you say that to me#and then in the same breath call my friend mentally unstable like i'm not gonna be hearing about it#and this so called mental instability has a very clear root cause! he knows it and i know it! so!#like?? am i CRAZY??#i think it's fairly reasonable that i am not acting like a NIce Person right now!#i could ATTEMPT to impress upon him how serious this shit is but if i did would that even get anywhere??#sure as shit wouldnt be right now because i have shit going on irl and it's taking up 99 percent of my mental/emotional capacity#i just. fuck.
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// vent , journal?, letter to the void to a specific person? Whatever, if ya know ya know//
Didn't think I'd have a close pal choose to be a dirty fucking pig (cop) apologist knowing damn well everything they do and done to marginalized groups, all while trying to tell me "I don't support them!.. but also don't call my coworkers pigs that's disrespectful >:(" bitch??? Blow it out your ass, you wanna fuck around with the pig squad thinking you can 'be a good one' while still supporting them because you work with them? Fine by me, but you're not my friend or ever will be as long as you keep that bluelivesmatter mentality knowing damn well who I am, or who my partner is, or everyone close who has been directly affected by them. Already trying to say the 'negative talk' that cops get is what's the main issue in society⢠without wondering WHY so many people fucking hate cops? Or thinking the horrible conditions prisoners are put in is the police 'being underfunded ' when that's by fucking design? Crying that people are calling you horrible shit for being a cop apologist? Boohoo cry me a river, that'll never be nearly as bad as the abuse and deaths millions of people (majority black or Native American) face from the hands of the police.
Damn fucking shame you listened to all the goons around you + those back at home who brought you and your amazing artwork down to the point you even had to work with dirty swine. Thinking that's the only way you can "help people" when you know damn well there's many more opportunities and positions that actually help people (even incorporating your art into it), but instead choosing the very thing that's suppressing us while throwing away your hard work/passions. Fuck you. If you're going to chalk up the horrors that are happening as "fake news/online garbage" or "dumb people recording cops and wondering why they're getting arrested", you're already too far gone.
RIP to the person I once knew and loved. Guess what they say is true, you either grow with friends from childhood/highschool or grow apart. We've obviously grown apart. So good bye.
#shutupchao#this month has been eventful but god damn ...#love it when my loved ones choose to be bigots while telling the nonbinary lesbian with their black nonbinary partner to stop hating cops...#like... you fucking serious rn? oh you are? damn alright guess you're my enemy now#so be it#that won't stop me from doing what i can to not only have a successful career but one that helps people while we dismantle this shit system#you say its impossible i say fuck you#I'll die trying and satan be damned I'll fucking fight back if you get in my way with your piggy squad#having the audacity to say im doing nothing but 'complaining' while fighting back on what im trying to explain to ya the systemic issues smh#this is enough im done im moving on this is weight off my fucking chest#12-7-2023#acab#again the audacity to say people are recording dumb shit when they're recording for their safety#not to mention the thousands of videos of murders happening at the hands of cops but you gonna call those victims 'dumb'... you're sick
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while i was drawing that previous picture i was like "it would be awesome if there were pictures of the sonic concept art and the shadow concept art being bros" even though that was basically the picture i was actively in the process of drawing when that thought occurred to me but Now several hours later to be honest when I look at these two designs next to each other the only kind of interaction I can imagine is the entire transcript of Spongebob Squarepants Season 3 Episode 20a Spongebob Meets The Strangler
It's pretty funny to think of this though.
#Like i tried to draw one scene as a silly endeavor but it was too hard to pick.#The only way I could possibly convey what i imagined would be to reanimate the entire episode with these obscure sonic non-characters.#and that would take some time to do.#mypost#i did search for feels or feel or whatever we call him (not sure now. there was a post saying he was officially named Max)#(but there were like 3 different unused sonic characters named max. so im uncertain now.) and i found out there was apparently#some sort of twitter-only trend of drawing sonadow with these designs which i only found out about through someone complaining about it#What can one say really. Sonadow would be mid in any universe (mean thing to say) (sorry)
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good evening to everyone except a certain few fucking anons
#go fuck yourselves like seriously what the fuck#im so sick of this#this is about the last two anons by the way. i havent gotten any more because i turned off anon asks#if you wanna know why anon asks are off blame those two assholes#seriously that stupid shits been getting to my head#you know why? because every fucking person around here (especially my mum) LOVES to criticise me and accuse me of victimising myself#literally every fucking thing i do is wrong around here down to my hair#all these fucking adults like to bully me about MY hair#fuck you if i want bangs I'll keep the bangs#literally it seems like they're just doing whatever they can to change me into someone else. someone they want#this fucking culture of mine is so shitty i swear to god#like they think that BULLYING you is people being honest with you#and that if someone's nice to you theyre shittalking you behind your back#(honestly considering some of the people i see i wouldn't be surprised)#and im not even doing anything thats WRONG either. im different and not one of these people can tolerate that#yeah my mum sent me a video of a goat with curly hair and implied she thinks my bangs are like that. in a derogatory manner btw#so yeah that's had me pissed and then the fucking anons were also making me pissed#fuck you I'm gonna be as selfish as i want when i post on MY blog#this blog is MINE#I decide what i write and how much i wanna shittalk someone who upset me to get my feelings out. if anyone wants to call me selfish fuck you#and you know what? fuck That Person too. they geniunely messed me up more than they helped me#yes. im still gonna talk about them. im still gonna complain because FUCK YOU I NEED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW OKAY#I NEED THIS SHIT OUT OF ME AND IT GETS BACK INTO MY HEAD SO I NEED IT OUTSIDE#and fuck you anons who gave your unwanted opinion. if you cant say anything nice SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS#i was taken advantage of and manipulated#and apparently I'm the bad guy for small mistakes like excuse me#and then that person even told a friend of theirs once to attack me (over text) like what#i just cant anymore it needs to be fucking out#and im not sorry for complaining about this because this is my blog and i will complain on here. this blog is for ME. for MY happiness.#and as such i will fucking complain shit and i will fucking post my vents because thats the only way i can send these emotions off for good
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