#which could also be a description of dick during certain times but i digress

[lazaruspiss]

characters that make sense to be living in wayne manor without much if any explanation: bruce, alfred, damian, tim, cass

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Regarding my post recently about how annoying I find anti-Reylo petty!posting, I want to make it absolutely clear that like, I don’t have an issue with people wanting to have serious discussions about the problems they have with it or with Kylo, Particularly because Kylo painfully reminds some people of current real-world behaviors. 

Just as an example, within my own ships I’ve had serious issues in the past regarding the implications of how certain characters and storylines were handled. I shipped Rumbelle from OUAT for a long while. I was super into the concept during Season 1. But then Season 2 changed a lot of things for me. It was revealed that Rumple systematically manipulated Regina for many years. It was revealed that he also murdered his first wife out of anger and jealousy (she was his emotional abuser, but the framing of his motives made his major reasons clear. Also emotional abuse doesn’t justify murder but I digress).  He repeatedly lied to Belle in order to selfishly keep her with him and blind her to what he did to his first wife.

Belle spent the entirety of their relationship basically denying his darkness and insisting that he change. It was probably one of the ugliest renditions of a Beauty and the Beast tale there is, because it managed to pretty much intentionally have the messages some people criticize BATB for having (even though it never did).

I still like the concept of Rumbelle in theory, because Robert Carlyle’s performance in that first Season was phenomenal and I loved the idea of the character initially. It would have been awesome to see a well written romance for him.

But as you can see, this ship inherently has serous issues, and many of those issues involve racism and sexism and abusive behavior. I would still enjoy shipping Rumbelle, but personally I feel like too much of canon’s poisoned storyline has permeated it’s fandom and fanfic, so I just can’t really invest any energy into picking out the stuff I don’t like anymore.

While the height of my OUAT fandom days didn’t really occur during the height of the anti-villain stanning days, I certainly still had people assume a lot of things about my feelings regarding Rumbelle, many of which reduced me down from a complex human being with ethics into a braindead icky fangirl who didn’t care about the ship’s problems because I was too busy stanning Rumpelstiltskin/Mr.Gold.

Over the years on this site I have had people treat me and others that way over characters and ships like Loki and Labyrinth’s Sarah/Jareth, and any number of villains or villain/heroine ships I’ve had in my time here. People who engaged in this kind of behavior rarely interacted long enough to ask what my (or anyone else’s) actual nuanced opinions were, because it was easier for them to create an immoral target out of us. The purpose was to make themselves feel superior over someone they could not humanize, not to spread awareness or engage in actual discussion with peers.

The most frustrating part of this is the blatant hypocrisy involved with this kind of behavior. I’ve seen Loki fangirls I’ve known who seem to enjoy trashing Reylo, as if Loki had significantly cleaner hands or ideologies than Kylo. As if the Loki fandom hasn’t churned out a boatload of Abuser!Loki fanfiction, as if they hadn’t mostly turned me off of my own ship (Loki/Darcy) because of how toxic they could depict it. As if I didn’t see a sizable percentage of Loki fangirls make Nick Fury the biggest villain in their fanfics, making him essentially an oppressor figure. 

If you are a Loki fangirl you are certainly not automatically better than a Kylo fangirl. You don’t get to pretend that you are cleaner than the Reylos. If you like any villain at all, your hands are not necessarily cleaner.

But if you’ve never liked a villain at all, your hands are not necessarily cleaner, either. How many Rose/Doctor shippers who hated on Martha, or Clara/Doctor shippers who hated on Danny Pink, are anti-Loki or anti-Reylo, I wonder? I’m really not at all convinced that people who behave this way care about abuse, sexism or racism when it’s their own ships or favorite dudes.

The problem with these mean spirited petty jokes, bitching and bullying posts about Reylo that get passed around on this site is that they give away the hypocrisy of (predominantly) white fangirls who only half-bother to bring up serious issues when it’s convenient and safe for them, when it looks good for their SJ cred and social media reputation, and when they can hurt others with it without any consequences or repercussions for themselves or the things they personally enjoy. 

And honestly I’m done with that. Have the courage and maturity to be critical of your own spaces, while respecting other people’s ability to do so within their spaces. If you are going to be critical of something, actually be thoughtfully critical and leave the petty bullshit behind you, because it just makes you look like a dick at this point.

So in conclusion, if you’re a marginalized person who had negative feelings about Reylo and expressed that thoughtfully, that post was not directed at you. If you are a Reylo who doesn’t have a single critical eye for what you consume or how you yourself engage in fandom, particularly when it comes to how you might alienate marginalized people, that post did not exist to protect you.

That post was me not giving a single fuck about anybody’s bullshit anymore. I don’t care about anybody’s online reputation or ego or petty mocking anymore, I don’t care how much SJ talking points and banners you list in your blog descriptions. I’m tired and getting way too old for this obnoxious high school shit.