#not that I'd like ever let her see that
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had a weird first time ever experience tonight. my mum pulled me in for a huge, super tight hug and told me "everything's gonna be okay"
#ngl i was choking back tears#not that I'd like ever let her see that#it was just like. ah man. i used to dream about having a mum like that as a kid#but now im 26 and i don't need her#and it just got me all sad because i could've had this all along#but she changed too late yknow?#it was nice don't get me wrong. very kind of her and nice to hear#but im also too old to believe that and it's too late for her to be my mum now#she's changing and trying and as complicated as that is. it's nice. but it still brings all of that back up#i just wish I'd been the kind of kid she wanted to treat that way when I /was/ a kid#anyway. felt foreign to actually experience that#i thought that was the sort of thing that only happened in movies and books#mine#meanwhile my dad said to me#'i wish you could be inside my mind so that you'd understand what a REAL problem is and how much yours don't even matter'#i know he was genuinely trying to be supportive by saying that. his way of giving me perspective i guess#but it just made me feel like a) you dont listen/understand me at all and b) i wish youd be inside MY mind so that you'd actually understan#and c) like a dramatic and oversensitive child. which is how he's always made me feel & im trying to not do to myself#the fucked up part is he was really trying his best to help. so i just smiled politely and thanked him and went and cried in my car lol
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the chunin exams arc was so interesting for how it portrayed sakura's potential and how people in her life influenced it. kakashi lying about the team-based enrollment criteria because he thinks sakura would be likely to sign up only to appease sasuke, and being genuinely surprised when she shows up anyway. naruto being completely oblivious when sakura was upset preceding the exams and also after she cut her hair in the forest of death. naruto literally dreaming about saving sakura from enemies, being the hero to her damsel-in-distress. sakura moulding herself into a perfectly feminine lady because that's what society demanded and what she thought sasuke would want. versus sasuke calling her out for focusing too much on romance instead of her skills like she should be doing. sasuke picking up that she was upset because she felt inadequate and reminding her of what she was best at -- maybe even better than him -- and never begrudging her for it. ino hacking into her mind because she was sure, not a single doubt in her mind, that sakura would know the answers to the impossible questions on the written exam. ino and sasuke both stepping in to save her during her fight with the sound nin, but only after being spurred on by the brutal beating she took. ino and sasuke getting frustrated with naruto when he commented on how her haircut looked because it made sakura trivialize her experience and offer a fake explanation about women being fickle. the flashbacks revealing to us that ino affirmed that she would one day bloom into a beautiful flower. ino and sasuke serving as a catalyst for sakura to get stronger before pt 1 and pt 2 respectively. idk do you see what i'm seeing
#haruno sakura#inosaku#sasusaku#idk considering sakura's main goal as a character....#it's just so touching they're the only ones we see who ever seemed to expect something of her. believe in her even...#and tsunade eventually ofc. really really wish we had more of that dynamic#and i dont wanna discredit naruto he did cheer her on during her fight w ino#i just think this theme of knowing and encouraging sakura's potential is not really. true of ns as it is for is and ss#which is why whenever i see those 'naruto was the only one who saw sakura's REAL self' posts a part of me shrivels up and dies#the 'real self' in question = beating him up for little to no reason#and like sure it alludes to her real personality but it's not a healthy expression of it. that's why it occurs w far less frequency in pt 2#anyway i'd need a whole other post to delve into that but let's just say it's really not an interpretation i enjoy#naruto meta
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ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)
#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done#there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself#maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth#ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi#beatrix valeria campbell#hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3#the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like#there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name#because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and#fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help#let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away#from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera#like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but#that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea#the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same#as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow#as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh#speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me#and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind#of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk#fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing#i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts#fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front#paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels#more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that#front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry#oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers#and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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okay it's not weird to be weirded out by many people at my new workplace following each other on Instagram, right? but not only like, coworkers who are friends (normal) but employees who are actively part of each other's management structures (like. the head of X department following and being followed by people who work directly under her. that's weird right).
#idk i LOVED my first ever manager but we had clear work life boundaries and we didn't become insta friends until after she left the job#I've followed a few people at my new gig but not my manager even tho she's fine and I'd friend her later. but like..... she is my boss.#I'm not gonna let her see my insta stories??#it's weird to me
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What does everyone think of Nigel Forbes-Colbie ever getting pregnant? It doesn't matter how you interpret it: Omegaverse, males can get pregnant Au, Trans! Nigel. Just tell me your guys' headcanons of Nigel's pregnancy: The changes, the hardships, the softness, and the vulnerabilities.
#murderous intent#like minds 2006#like minds#alex forbes#nigel colbie#Alex Forbes X Nigel Colbie#Nigel Colbie x Alex Forbes#If you guys haven't noticed my recent posts I've been feeling way too soft for this fandom#Like#Too soft#And it's both Nigel and Alex's fault for making me too soft when all I want is to cause chaos and do crimes#To be honest I'd like to Imagine Nigel's pregnancy as an arduous one: Swollen feet . Sore back. Weird cravings. Mood swings. Everything.#And he isn't used to seeing himself get swollen with life each and every day. While Alex is so gullible first thing in the morning because#of the baby bump growing every single day. And Nigel getting rounder every week.#Sure. Nigel is enjoying being pampered by Alex with all these services and gifts but sometimes he thinks that he isn't that attractive#Anymore for Alex. And that while he's carrying his children he will leave him like a used toy.#He'd have instances where he'd feel conflicting feelings for their child and think of possibilities of removing her from his body#But he'd soon regret it. He just breaks down into tiny little pieces of ever thinking of their daughter that way. His and ALEX"S#He can never stomach killing her. He can never stomach ruining her beautiful life that he has yet witnessed.#He still has his self-harm tendencies but he avoids it. He avoids harming his angel. His miracle. His life.#He wants to be a good father to his child. He wants to nurture her. Feed her knowledge and love. Cater to her needs and be at her beck#and call: be a father.#Alex knows what's happening to Nigel. They talk. And they talk everyday. He knows how much it can be hard for Nigel during his pregnancy#And he will always be there to protect his spouse and his unborn child.#He will spite their original purpose in order to create their own purpose. Which Nigel had a hard time letting go of.#It was hard. Seeing the history that made them into the people they are today. But it had to#they had to change#change for their family.#For their miracle.#And Nigel seeing Alex being this doting makes him fall for him ten times more
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whoever requested the wta footballer au for the tennisblr promptfest...................
#i have so many ideas.#heres the problem though im getting too in my head about it because i would want to make it 'realistic'#in terms of like who would end up where and what teams are actually good#but unfortunately a lot of the countries that are good at football dont have very high ranked tennis players...and vice versa#poland did just qualify for the euros which is their first ever major tournament!#but like rus is banned italy is ok but a hot mess czechia is just fine belarus sucks#spain is good but then i'd have to write paula and i do not want to lol#australia? but what wta aussies are there. besides saville??#brazil obviously but idk do we even pair bia with anyone. she and iga are good friends but. hm.#caro garcia fell off the face of the planet which is unhelpful so france is kind of a no go#and germany haven't had a proper good wta player i think the entire time i've been watching tennis#same with the netherlands#china was good but fell off majorly in the 2010s. only coming back more recently so idk.#maybe interesting but i dont like navarro enough to write her and tbh i cant imagine another pairing for qinwen#whos left in footy. ENGLAND? i cant ship katie with anyone she and alex are like the golden couple in my mind#and i dont know enough about emma i think to properly write her#though wait..........CANADA. hm. let me cook here.#obviously wayy glossing over the americans here but thats because the main pairings i would probably do#are blocked by 1) greece being ass and 2) not wanting to write navarro (see above)#also the fact that my brain is screaming the whole time that half of these players are too tall to logically play anything other than gk#obviously this is all so irrelevant. u bet ur ass im gonna be writing this anyway.
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a reminder that chiyo wouldn't be here if not for my hyperfixation on h.aikyuu!! i made her shortly after watching the first season of the anime ( that's all that was out at the time ), making her a manager for our beloved crows before discovering oh!! they have managers :' ) so she then became a sports column writer for the newspaper, and that's how it's stayed even in her general high school verse bc i'm sentimental as heck <3
#oooh we've come a long way since then#she's grown so much and only for the better#there's certain things that have stayed the same -- like her love for puns :' )#in fact i'd argue that chiyo's stayed mostly the same but i've just gotten a lot better at portraying her and understanding her#like yeah she's my oc but sometimes you have a good concept but don't execute it well bc you aren't ready#now i know her like the back of my hand and i genuinely cannot see myself ever letting her muse go quiet again#chiyo? on hiatus? not on my watch buddy!!#okay i gotta stop getting distracted asdfg i'm just traipsing down memory lane but i got writing to dooooo#get ready to ramble | ooc
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for someone who Hated going home for the holidays, first christmas post mom death is proving uncharacteristically upsetting
#I HATE YOU GRIEF I HATE YOU GRIEF I HATE YOU GRIEF.#its not even xmas yet I was just thinking about it today#usually I'd be finding any excuse to not see my mom for christmas#and if she was still alive I would again#but she's not alive#so it's different#looking at myself in the mirror white knuckling the sink please just let me be angry I just want to be angry please please can I be angry#thinking of my sister too I know it'll be even harder for her#crazy how uhm. crazy how when someone dies you lose parts of your relationship with other people too#like looking across the dinner table at christmas to have a silent conversation with your sister#about something your mom said#and your mom turns around and goes what!!!#and you and your sister both laugh about a joke only the two of you will ever know#hm. anyway.#ghost posts#text
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sometimes i gotta lock in and remember that these 3 things are what brought diana into existence
#i remember when someone kept deleting from her wikia that luna from mlp served as inspiration#diana literally has a nightmare moon quote and they have almost the exact same goofy personality#i'd argue that luna is probably the main reason why i fell in love with diana in the first place#diana lol#league of legends diana#league of legends#teresa claymore#lady gaga#mlp nightmare moon#my little pony#i'm dreading the day they will make diana a voice update. I mean she needs new voicelines but Mary Elizabeth McGlynn was so perf for her#and i feel like nobody will ever match her level#+ i'm afraid they will remove all of Diana's funny quotes. Let her be silly i beg#i need more ppl to see that diana is the type of character that would make self-deprecating jokes then wonder why she is lonely 😭#let her be a loser woman archetype on a power trip
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Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.
I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.
#criminal minds#elle greenaway#nathan harris#don't get me wrong i get WHY ppl want it#like elle as an unsub would (admittedly in previous years when her teammates were still there) have been a v dramatic and interesting story#but at the same time... let her heal. she went through some really traumatic stuff and wasnt able to handle it and walked away#let her heal and find peace and leave behind the violence#or nathan harris! like that one admittedly always bugs me bc the idea that a kid who tried to kill himself rather than hurt someone#ends up ultimately becoming a killer anyways is genuinely so tragic and devasting and just hopeless#i just feel like a lot of these perpetuates the idea that you can't break the cycle of abuse or violence#or that you're unable to overcome the difficulties in your life or mind and your fate is sealed#which is genuinely the most fucking tragic ass theme that i've ever heard#like is that really what people want the show's message to be?#no matter how hard you try you will inevitably become what you fear and/or you will perpetuate the violence you experienced#i HATE that message#its why i really dislike how multiple characters reappear later as unsubs especially characters like lindsey vaughn and david smith#like what is the implication here? you're destined to continue the cycle of violence that your parents began?#you'll never be free from the violence you witnessed? you were just a child but your fate has been sealed anyways?#especially with so many of our mcs as well having dealt with serious trauma in their past#are they also destined to become their parents/abusers?#it just feels like a v hopeless message tbh which doesnt feel great when the show is already pretty dark#instead of characters coming back as unsubs i'd love to see them be able to help as teachers or guidance counselors or therapists#or anything really tbh like. show me that they're able to find peace despite what was done to them.#show me that while the trauma may be a part of you it is not all you are
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also OOOH if the inquisitor's fate is inevitably death i am. rubbing my hands together like an evil scientist
#ari speaks#listen. i have already decided that my mahariel dies fairly shortly after the events of origins.#levi absolutely gets left in the fade and i have not made an executive decision as to if he is ever found#(and if he is if the experience is Permanently Damaging for him)#if the inquisitor is slated to die before events of this game. BABY.#straight up. my post-trespasser ideas for rhea were already that she becomes increasingly embittered and desperate for control#post-tresspasser. i can absolutely see her dying cold and embittered and defeated in battle bc she refused to give up the fight.#arya Does get the fuck out of the inquisitioning business and tries to settle down but like. i mean.#can i turn cullen into a single father? sure. lets make shit HURT.#i mean i'd. prob prefer everybody lives but. i am not afraid to be a menace to my own lil guys#(except for maybe ikenna. i'd be sad if ikenna ended trespasser in a LDR and died shortly thereafter.)
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Howdy Caroline, I saw a post about Talk shop Tuesday so I thought I'd be nosy on main. I wonder, how does research factor into your fic writing, and what was the most taxing research you had to do for a fic? 🐸
oooh hi, iva!!! thank you so much for shooting the ask--god knows i always love talking about fic!
to answer your question: i think most of my fic-related research is limited to "what episode did character x do this/say that", just so that i have the timeline of events down. i know it's not the end of the world if i don't perfectly remember how a certain scene went down, but i can't help it--i like being precise when it comes to at least recalling canon events.
outside of that specific brand of research (just making sure my timeline/recitation of quotes is all set), i'll sometimes do wilder research for like ... au projects that are set in a different time. that doesn't happen often (i think the reason why i tend not to write au's that are set other than present day is specifically because i get overwhelmed by the amount of research to be done), but when it does, i'm usually stuck researching for hours. that's probably why i just never got around to posting this one period jwds au i have. the plot keeps shifting, mostly to suit the research that i've done. deep sigh. one day i swear i'll finish writing that story and post it, but right now it's just gotten a little away from me. it's marinating.
outside of that story though, i think i've been lucky enough to not need to do too much research for fics . . . maybe that'll change one day (especially if i ever fall in love with a more period-drama-esque story), but ! ! ! as of now, i think my research time really only takes up 10 - 15% of my fic writing process.
#answered#thank u for the ask iva!!! <333#i do also. write suits fic every once in a while#and sometimes i do get tempted to just like. write a funny bantery scene of mike and harvey talking about. funny corporate law stuff#because i just think it's fun to talk about.#i think one day i want to write a leverage/suits crossover#of nate ford and harvey specter pissing each other off. just so much.#of harvey going ':) if someone is upset with a corporation they can just sue us :) take us to court. sure. let's see what happens'#and nate going ':) you know full well :) that a lawsuit :) will :) never :) go :) anywhere :)'#and parker going 'so yeah why is that.'#cue everyone looking at her and parker shrugging bc 'listen i am a thief. i don't actually care about law stuff. but we're stuck in this#elevator for at least another 2 minutes.'#(because hardison would be working on it with parker.)#and then nate gives the run-down on why corporate 'litigation' really just ends in a dead-end for 98% of cases#and the system is specifically built that way#and then also cue nate and hardison and parker point-blank calling harvey out for hiring a fraudster.#nate: you should have been disbarred for at least a dozen violations of the rules of professional conduct#harvey: YOU are telling ME how to be a lawyer. YOU. the actual THIEF.#nate: yes because at least thieves don't have actual rules that they need to follow. u really want to go there.#and that really would be. the dumbest fic i'd ever write. but i just think it'd be funny
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#I think I'm getting worse#I've always been anxious but it seems like lately I'm just a nervous wreck around people#like can't look people in the face most of the time let alone the eye#and some part of me is certain with razor sharp clarity that I'm so ugly and unpleasant that me merely looking at a stranger would be#objectionable? desecrating? threatening?#that I do my best to remain casual but never ever look at someone useless they're talking to me and maybe not even then#I'm afraid that people are mad at me all the time#and I'm ravenously desperate to be liked and accepted and wanted#or even just tolerated#so I assume that reaching out would be outre#that nobody *really* likes me or wants me around and I'd just be imposing myself where I'm not wanted#just like always#so I cut myself off and pack myself into as tiny of a space as I can and do nothing but cower and apologize#because I can never be pardoned of the sin that is myself#and the least I could do is dispose of myself#behold the scrupulous corpse! see how she apologized for her corrupted flesh! how she seals herself within the tomb!#I envy the dolls and the puppy girls and the girlthings#for I am the dead and all I can do is r o t#trapped inside of this putrid bloated flesh that I have no hope of redeeming#my tomb shall have no mirrors#and no mourners#and without them#and without me#I will finally be able to just sleep forever#corpseposting#perhaps the most cadaverous one yet
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Sometimes there's just lids on things u don't wanna open
#the queen of smash (mun)#idk its dumb and stupid but ever since i've been playing more visual dating sims#i just get these days where i feel like....nothing????#like. not a girl just a body this compile of personhood#and like idk maybe its cause visual sims lets you have so much cleaner interaction with selfhood and gender#compared to irl where i live in a country where HRT is smth thats difficult to comeby so overall ALL of it feels messy#demigirl works out fine enough for me but idk i just. somedays i feel LESS like a girl and more. nothing#i dont fully like it because it just feels like im faking it?? jumping on a bandwagon???#almost half of the friends i've made or have on tumblr pretty much went down a pipeline of afab to they/them to he/him or he/they#with more masc learning and terms#and idk if i'd go THAT far??? I don't mind being called he/him but it's not my full go to i don't think???#but idk it feels. selfish. like im pretending. idk if i like the idea of being they/them ALL the time i like she/her enough#im just. (huffsssss) my parents have always been open that they expected me to become a dyke lesbian or trans because i was a big tomboy#so maybe a part of me feels like i'm playing into these expectations and i feel so sick at the idea. even tho ANYthing of my pronouns.#would stay online#idk idk i guess after being always she/her i'm...vaguely curious to see how i feel with they/them but again. pretender stuff.#maybe i don't feel it properly like everyone else does#im just this sack of flesh filled with nothing good but what others have#i don't FEEL enby enough to be one#but idk if demigirl fully suits me AS much now#oughhhhhhhhhhhhh
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utterly cannot stand the type of post thats like "what are the female characters you like" and i KNOW it's not the fault of the people who make those posts i know they only do it because 95% of this site's blorbos are men. but i hate it anyway. like really the only way you can get fandom people to talk about women is to explicitly tell them to talk about women. and it always comes off so disingenuous because i KNOW most people reblogging those posts would never say those characters on a generic "what are your favorite characters" post. like it's all just so bleak :/
#like. tumblr user on an average blorbo tag post: omg dean <3#tumblr user on average Woman Blorbo post: well i really like woman 2 from netflix original bullshit show#and i don't mean to suggest these people DON'T really like woman 2 from that show. i just think like.#well i've seen ur posts and 80% of them are about a man. and you only ever even mention HER in relation to men or when specifically prompte#like. idk. i promise female characters are interesting when you take off the patriarchy goggles. i promise they are also usually much bette#written than whatever man you're obsessed with. i promise you.#like. clary gets almost no love from this site at large but she is probably one of cassie's most complex characters ever#meanwhile everyone here lovesssss will herondale. and i won't continue that thought lest i be blacklisted#so you see what i'm saying.#most tumblr users could not defend their love of a female character against their raw posting data#beth.txt#don't mean to suggest i never like male charaters we all know i have my guys#but i don't think i talk about men more than women. actually lets review the characters of the year#i'd start with danny obviously danny was huge in january#alina. alex. liv. i'd say call tamara and aaron all count#livvy ty dru and kit are a contant and don't need to be included in the data. but if they were it'd even out anyway#ok so that's 4 men and 3 women. not a bad ratio#didn't mean to make this post about me but well it is my post so yk. whatever#anyway. basically some of you could stand to get really weird about a female character sometime. sick of your deans and whatnot!
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