#not tagging this with anything in particular 'cause i don't think i wanna deal with people coming to pest me about my fun speculations

[sequencefairy]

There’s a very fucked up part of my brain that wants to hear your theories about the alleged NYC polycule 😭 but it’s also…too much lmaooooo

Beloved, sweet, wonderful anon, you tempt me too much with your repressed desires to join me in the tiny closet off my office, where I keep my bulletin boards and my red string.

I should note, before we begin, that my contributions to these theories are but contributions, the true architect is a friend, who I will not publicly out, but they know who they are.

With that out of the way, let me paint you a picture, dear sweet anon.

It was late summer, I had watched six hours of TV over the course of three days, because my friend had talked about this TV show to me, and the characters therein, for weeks. I did not expect to like this TV show, I wanted to watch it solely so that I could participate fully in conversation, because I enjoy very much when someone I care about loves something and shares that with me. Despite my intentions to the contrary, I emerged from the six hours of TV wholly changed.

And so began my not-so-slow downward spiral.

(under the cut)

My friend and I had deep and complicated discussions about characterization and the narrative choices and depictions of mental illness and trauma. We shared vulnerabilities, as ways to expand our understanding of the depths that this show plumbs, but does not always reach with solidity. We thirsted. Oh, did we thirst.

I came to the conclusion that I did, indeed, want to climb Oscar Isaac like the compact, solidly built tree that he is. I wanted to bury my fingers in his hair, I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to see the characters he plays beaten, bloody, and miserable. I wanted to see them broken, but I also wanted them to heal, such as they were able, given their unique circumstances.

In short, I became obsessed.

My life has spun wildly out of control, I am sitting on roughly 50k of Moon Knight fanfic, currently unfinished, but being worked on feverishly. You are not here for that though, so let us move on.

We initially began our conversations regarding the NYC polycule on a fair evening in September, when my friend arrived in my dms to alert me to an item of interest. It was a photo, from September 9th, posted on Elvira's Instagram account, and in it, was Oscar, one of his children, and a man, tagged as Tim Nolan.

Further research revealed, of course, that Tim Nolan is none other than the long-time hair stylist for Oscar. We reviewed Tim's Instagram page, thrilled by the discovery that Tim seems to accompany Oscar on many filming trips, including during the filming for Moon Knight in Jordan.

Knowing this, and also knowing that the only other person who appears in photos in their house with their children with such familiarity is Pedro Pascal, we began to make certain assumptions about this relationship.

I won't spend too much time on Pedro Pascal, I think we all know that he's involved.

For now, let us continue along with Tim.

Oscar has been filming In The Hand of Dante in Venice, of late, and so we have been thrilled to see BTS pictures of him, on set, and etc. We have also been thrilled, most recently, by Tim's presence. Tim recently celebrated his 41st birthday in Rome, and the following weekend, was with Oscar being touristy.

Some things to note:

Elvira's comment under Tim's birthday photo, which was taken in Rome. This is not unusual in and of itself, she is very free with her affection for the people in her life, and her comment is correct, he is looking extremely good.

Tim touring around Rome with Oscar, on the weekend after his birthday, clearly not at work, just there to have fun.

The next photo is the one that sealed the deal for me. You have probably seen this one, because I reblogged it onto my blog, but here it is again, for posterity.

We know, from various interviews, and behind the scenes footage, and the way that Oscar is in them, that he is affectionate with his male friends, we know that he is happy to be close to them physically, but there's ... something about this picture. There's a familiarity, a casual intimacy, a closeness that speaks to other kinds of closeness.

All this to say that I believe that Tim Nolan is and has been in the polycule, just like Pedro Pascal is and has been. Perhaps not at the same time, perhaps there are others who move in and out, but the anchor is that Oscar and Elvira have a marriage with room for others, and I wouldn't be surprised, at all, if someday, someone made a mistake, and posted something we shouldn't be seeing, on a public account.

Alternatively, I am going to move to NYC with the intention of becoming another member of this small, loving group of people.

I'm sure my partner will understand.

[lemonhemlock]

so, i'm going through your anti team black tag and living my best life, but one post in particular that you made got me thinking.

“george made damn sure rhaenyra’s bloodline sat on the throne at the end bc, if the hightowers won, house targaryen would have been reformed, and he couldn’t kill them all off at the end of the main series”

i'm pretty sure this might've just been a joke, but it makes me curious. do you think something like a targaryen reformation would be possible, hypothetically speaking? i certainly wouldn't mind it in a "greens win" AU scenario, but that's just me. i wanna know if anyone else sees potential in this. 💚💚💚

Hello, yes, this was mostly a joke, as it happens. 😅 (anon is referring to this post) To introduce another lengthy parenthesis, I remember at the time that some of the reactions to that post were in the range for "why doesn't anyone understand that the Hightowers are also feudal lords vying for their own interests and not some great reformists out to save Westeros", which... Listen. 😄 To put equitably, this fandom has a considerable issue with knowing when to level criticism and when to just treat banter as lighthearted horsing around and not take it too seriously. Something which even I'm not exempt from, I don't think. 🤷‍♀️

So, in the interest of making a meme, that post was kind of half-true in that it simplified a more nuanced concept (that was never an avenue that the author decided to explore anyway) for the sake of humour. I have, in the past, detailed my thoughts on House Hightower and what I think is their role in the wider narrative. This is based on the information we have on them presently. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Who knows, maybe Lord Leyton and Melara plan on blowing Oldtown up for shits and giggles. We don't have to guess everything correctly - another aspect this community struggles with in their fandom wars and obsession with having the most correct, morally pure take.

Regardless, yes, the Hightowers obviously are a privileged family at the top of the social food chain, benefitting from the exploitation awarded by feudalism - a political-economic system based on vast inequality. Therefore, any type of reform they might be willing to undertake will be limited and not really something that significantly changes the status-quo. Just like the beloved, fan-favourite, and mostly confirmed "winners" - the Starks. A third element that our fandom has trouble accepting is the concept of incremental change. I feel like it would basically be a truism to point out that incremental change has been the most reliable vector of socio-economic evolution throughout human history. So, bad news for them, I suppose, but any superficial study of history will reveal that feudalism hardly collapsed overnight. Which leads us back to the idea that any small change, no matter how limited, does matter in the long run, because, as time passes, it will be compounded with another small change and so on.

Anyway, coming back to the question. Would Targaryen reformation be possible? Certainly! GRRM could have made up any story he wanted. Anything is possible if you plan for it and it makes sense within your worldbuilding. As it stands, the Targaryens are foreigners with a questionable culture, hailing from a land that used to engage in practices that even the feudal Westerosi found backwards, distasteful, barbaric or immoral: slavery, human sacrifice, incest, great feats of violence such as pillaging and conquering neighbouring lands for the sake of feeding their population to their volcano gods etc. The Targaryens also have fire-breathing monsters that, while not exactly enough all the time to prevent any rebellions from happening, are weapons that no one else has access to and that can cause a great deal of damage that no one else can replicate.

So, in order to "reform" and integrate, they would need to renounce all that. They would need to do it the traditional way. They do some of the work, but never go all the way. They accept the main religion of the land, but they don't let go of inter-marrying, because they don't want to lose their access to dragons. There are attempts to integrate, but, by the time of the events of the main series, they have returned to incest. Funnily enough, Aegon V plays a role in both - he marries outside of the family and has no dragons left, but his succeeding son and daughter marry each other and, eventually, Aegon decides that bringing back dragons is not such a bad idea after all. I do think that the symbolic weight of Daenerys having both her parents and her grandparents as brother-sister sets is laying the "dragon blood" metaphor thick - and that it holds more magical weight than any mathematical calculation of her actual watered-down Targaryen DNA.

In any such scenario where GRRM decided to go down a Targaryen reformation path, IMO it would have been thematically-relevant to ease into it via a marriage alliance with one of the oldest families in Westeros - a well-respected, rich house that also has close links to both the only centre of higher education and the main religious organization in the land. Hence the meme. :) But it doesn't last and the Targaryens go back to their dastardly ways eventually, that's the point of them in the story, because the author chose it to be the point.

[gonemechaniic]

Mobile friendly rules...

BASIC ETIQUETTE .

DON’T BE A DICK! Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia, Sexism, Xenophobia; discrimination of any kind will not be tolerated. Don’t come at me, or any of my followers/friends with that hot garbage.

SELECTIVITY .

I will only interact with mutual followers. This mostly goes for IC memes unless tagged otherwise. I do not follow for a follow. It’s nothing personal and intended for my own comfort, to keep me from feeling overwhelmed or if I can’t really see how our muses would interact in the long term. Other reasons deal with not having a tagging system, no rules or muse info present, formatting style or lack thereof; i.e. not cutting posts or more OOC than IC. While I am open to plotting and talking to non-mutual followers in order to start something new, please do not consistently come at me if I'm not interested.

In regards to unfollowing/soft blocking people, I usually filter through blogs that have been inactive for at least 5-6 months unless I personally know them and the general nostalgia factor has a vice like grip on me x3 and I'll try to keep to a 7 day grace period to following anyone back... but don't hold me to that cause I am forgetful AF.

Also, I am variant friendly and freaking adore the idea of twin/alt verses, or just gushing over this ray of sunshine in general, PLS!

GENERAL DYNAMICS .

I can be an impulsive & adaptive kind of writer at times. If nothing is plotted beforehand I'm prone to just wing it and see how it plays out. I’m also keen to follow my partner’s writing length and /or format should the desire arise for thread aesthetic goodness.

I like plotting pre-established relationships/connections. I find it to be a pretty nice immersion factor to basic intro threads/meme interactions.

I will not play favorites with any particular character(s). I may have main baes I feel more at ease freely interacting with and replying to. My character exclusivity is only placed upon romantic ships when it is asked of me.

SHIPPING .

This is a multi-ship blog. Every relationship takes place inside its own verse unless plotted otherwise, i.e; poly-ships. I love shipping! I love talking about possible ships. I love the planning and meme slinging. As much as I enjoy it, that is NOT an ultimate goal with my muse. I also like to get to know my potential ship partner as well beforehand. 

Do NOT follow/interact with me if you’re just trying to ship with my muse!

Shipping requires chemistry. I know Cindy is a super cute, bubbly sunshine gal who everyone wants to smooch (okokok maybe not everyone). But if it’s not there, it’s not there. Please do not force anything on me or my muse.

This doesn’t even have to pertain to romantic ships at all. Platonic, family, rival/hateships or unrequited feelings are all welcomed interactions as well. Also any shippy/nsfw memes sent w/o prior IC interaction or OOC conversation first will be treated as purely platonic or disregarded entirely.

TRIGGERS & NSFW .

All possible triggering posts will be tagged within reason i.e ‘( trigger name cw ) or ( trigger name )’. Considering that I have very few triggers myself ( trypophobia & arachnophobia ), please let me know, either by your rules page or messages, what your triggers are and I’ll be totally fine with tagging them for you. 

I’m fine with n/sf/w stuff ( horror/gore ) I have no problem writing spicy situations, but it will not be a predominant focus on this blog. Overall it’s not a major concern to me. If you wanna take it to disco, skip it all together/fade to black then that’s cool. 

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I WRITE NSFW MATERIAL WITH MINORS!

ACTIVITY & CONTACT .

I am married to the military, i.e, we move around a bit or have random stuff going down. I have job/home stuff to deal with. I have a life outside RP. In other words; this blog may run off a queue but mainly: I. AM. S L O W. Feel free to remind or notify me if you think tumbles fvcked something up like it do be sometimes, but don’t hound me for interactions.

DMs are open for plotting. Disco is open to mutuals who ask for it, or I might randomly post it. Cindy is on Wire @/topmechanic. Just please keep in mind that I'm a pretty awkward and shy person, even if I’ve known you for a time. I don't always initiate conversations and my anxiety/intrusive thoughts tend to make things worse. It’s something I’m trying to break the habit of but, if I happen to go silent for a while, and this is gonna sound tacky, but it’s not you, it’s me.

aaaaaaaye congrats for making it this far! Here are your complimentary smooches and head pats. Stay awesome, my friends 💛💛

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

i apologize for how long this ramble is going to be😭 but i agree so hard with your posts about how little comments a fic can get nowadays even with a bunch of like. The majority of fanfics I see with high notes are at least 80% likes (I can’t do percentage Im just estimating), 10-15% blank reblogs, and 5-10% comments. It kinda disheartens me when I spend a while writing and revising one of my works—even though the majority of them are blurbs—just to make sure it’s perfect and something I’m proud of and then when I post it it gets maybe 200 likes 8 reblogs and 2 comments (which are usually in the tags but I’m still very grateful for and love to read the reactions of readers). I’m not big on complaining and I don’t care about high notes but when one of the works I post does get a lot of notes but the majority of those notes are likes and I’m lucky to get 2 comments, I’m just a little bummed. I always make sure to respond to the comments and try to keep the conversation going because as you’ve mentioned before, writers just wanna talk about the characters they’re interested in with other people who are equally as obsessed with those character as they are! Sometimes when I read others fan fictions and I can’t think of much to comment (which is rare cause usually I’m already thinking of what comment I’m going to leave when I finish reading), I still make sure to compliment the writing in some way, list something I really enjoyed and leave a little emoji that portrays my reaction. I just wish more people did that. I understand if some people are in a rush and just wanna read something quick and not stay on it too long or if they just don’t have anything to comment, but if you read the whole thing I’m sure you could at least think of something to say or one emoji that best fits how the fic made you feel or even better a reaction gif! I love those things. It’s not even when checking my notifications or notes on a particular work that I’m a bit disappointed but also other fanfic writers notes because they’re all excellent and deserve some love and support and I’m sure they’ve be ecstatic to get to talk about the character they like so much that they put in all the effort to write a scenario about with other people. again, sorry for the long rant 😭 I don’t want to come off as rude to anyone cause of course I understand to an extent why some people just don’t comment but it still invokes such a strong feeling in me to the point where I had the desire to rant in some (incredible, talented, amazing, outspoken and encouraging) lady’s inbox. have a goodnight/morning/afternoon (whenever you’re reading this, that is if you stuck around for my whole word vomit)

don't apologize for ranting. you can come into my inbox and rant any time! and thank you for your lovely words <33

like the thing that really gets me - my fics are being seen by more people than ever, yet fewer people than ever are commenting

I used to primarily post fanfiction on Quizilla. and Quizilla would show the number of hits your profile got. and profile hits were a big deal because it meant that someone found your fic through searches or through recommended, they read your fic, liked it, and then they clicked onto your profile to see if you had written similar fics.

the day that my profile reached 1,000 hits was a big deal for me. I remember checking back every single day to see how many hits my profile was getting, and I anticipated the day my profile was going to get 1,000 hits - and I thought I was fucking famous when it happened.

because back then, fandoms were sooo fucking small. so if 1,000 people saw my profile, it meant that the entire fandom (at least, my corner of the fandom - the part of the fandom that read and posted Harry Potter x OC fics on Quizzila) had seen my profile, and had likely read some of my fics.

and now, a single fanfic of mine can get 1,000 likes and 0 comments (like literally 0 comments) and it feels so fucking dehumanising. because likes aren't even hits. hits just mean that they clicked on it and their browser opened the page. likes mean that someone saw my fic, and they either enjoyed the concept enough to bookmark it for later or they read the whole fic and then liked it.

it means that someone saw my fic, liked it - someone probably read through my entire fic, and didn't bother to comment. so that x 1000. and it hurts my heart. especially because I just wrote 10,000 words of the fic and the reader couldn't even write 20 words in the comments.

1,000 people read my fic and it can get 0 comments. even if it gets 5 or 10 comments, those comments aren't opening up a discussion about the fic.

I do genuinely miss the days when getting 15 hits on a fic meant that you got 10 to 15 comments. because every single person who clicked onto the fic recognised that a lot of work goes into a fic, and they wanted to show their appreciation - or, at the very least, they are excited and they want to discuss their enjoyment of the fictional characters with someone else who loves that character too.

these days, everyone pretends like fandom is a solo activity. and it drives me insane.

people make individual posts fangirling about a character, and nobody actually interacts with those posts. people make headcanons about their favourite characters, and nobody goes 'oh, you're so right!' - nobody takes the time to message them adding onto those headcanons or politely disputing them. people act like fanfiction is a novel handed to you for you to read quietly by yourself, and not something fanfic writers post with the intention of discussing it afterwards.

fandom is not a solo activity. it was never supposed to be.

and like, you're right - I don't care about getting a lot of notes. I have seen some fics that have 20k notes, and I think that would actually be a fucking nightmare. because I can only imagine how much those authors must be harassed for a 'part 2' and to write more for that fandom, or to just do that same fic again, slightly to the left. or how much they're harassed in general. my most popular fic is like 70% less popular than that, and I still hate the experience of having a really popular fic. it makes my brain get nauseous.

no, I don't want a popular fic. I don't want a fic with a lot of notes. I just wish that if I had a fic with 10 notes, five of those notes were comments - even if it was a string of comments, a discussion between me and someone else - I would be happier than having a fic with 1,000 notes and 2 comments.

and as I have said before, many, many, many times - comments spawn more fics. I have so many fics - both finished and in my drafts, that have been spawned by the comments I do get, or that have been spawned by discussions with my mutals in DMs. actively discussing the characters with me makes my brain want to write more fanfiction.

this isn't a trap - it fucking works.

[stealingyourbones]

Hello! I just had a question: Where do you draw the line with the asks? Because I want to send you stuff or ask stuff, but I also don't want you being uncomfortable viewing them? You having a good time is important to me because I get so much serotonin from your blog >w<

I wrote an entire response for this and then my tumblr crashed so here’s a take two.

Ok so my guidelines for asks:

You can ask stuff about prompts, posts, advice/ideas to help flesh out or progress your dpxdc fic? anything you want! Anything from your own prompts, to an idea for a prompt for me to write, to just questions about myself, but I have a few rules:

Please before you send me an ask think to yourself, “is what I’m about to send a hate crime, incredibly racist/sexist/homophobic/etc?” If any of that is a yes, then please don’t send it. I can and will delete it and ignore your question.

I have no big triggers myself. Other people do though so please put a TW at the top of your ask if it contains triggering topics.

Dont spam my inbox. If you have 10 cool ideas you want to talk about, write them and post them on your own blog! Curate your own blog! Make people read your cool ideas! Please don’t send them all to me. I get 20+ asks a day and spam is just exhausting to deal with. Please sent a max of 3 asks a day.

Please properly indent and paragraph your asks. ADHD is a bitch and my brain doesn’t focus on blocks of text. This is more to benefit y’all because I normally skip large walls of text to work on responding to properly spaced asks that I can easily digest.

If you have any constructive criticism or corrections on something you think I can improve for a prompt or something I stated about canon lore that was incorrect, feel free to correct me on it. I will reiterate though, constructive criticism. Fact checking isn’t inherently negative but it can easily be perceived as such. I only know so much about various fandoms and lore, take it easy that I don’t know everything and anything about a particular subject.

If you have complaints and want to talk shit, genuinely just DM it to me instead. I’d rather have a discussion about why you think of me or my blog negatively rather than just having the equivalent of a drive by of someone shouting “you suck!”. It causes equally the same reaction: I’m just confused and a little miffed that someone had the audacity to shout at me. If you wanna say something I’d rather I’d you just say it to my face. ^-^

Absolute no’s for pairings and ships:

Absolutely no adult/child anything. This sounds like common sense but I’ve seen enough people ship Bruce and his Robins together that it’s an issue. No twincest either, that’s a no go.

NSFW Ask Guidelines

ASKS VS SUBMISSIONS:

Asks: if you have a cool idea you want me to bounce off of. I get a lot of asks that are better as submissions.

Submissions: if you simply have a cool prompt you want to show to a larger audience. No commentary given. Please only use the #prompt art tag if what you’re sending IS art.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

I don't know why I send it to you but op asked people to be gentle on their post and I don't think I can: I just read a "meta" about "polyamorous relationships in ancien China and how it affected the dynamics of mdzs" and I wanna cry at how bad it is. They're pulling numbers out of their ass to make assumptions: "let's say the 10% richest have, let's say, 3 wives" as if canon doesn't state that even JGS only has one (yes we could talk about his numerous mistresses but JGS is literally spider Georg in that regard), but that's not how meta works! You don't invents things to make a meta! And "playing devil's advocate" by saying "women are gold-diggers" to somehow absolve JGS of his crimes is probably one of, if not the worst take ever. Like, saying Meng Shi and the young lady Mo used JGS and deliberately became pregnant so they could get money/better situation out of him, it's gross and wrong, not even supported by canon. Don't know if you read that "meta", but anyway, I needed to vent, and I like your takes on things, you seems like a more astute and thoughtful person than some in this fandom.

Haaa, boy this one is a doozy... but I will attempt to explain myself why polyamory doesn't work well with MXTX's works in general, and for the political sphere of MDZS in particular. No, I have not come across this one, I am either blocked (lol), or I have my own tags filled up to avoid it all.

Within MDZS, the basis is that affairs or anything that is seen as the like, is a social faux pas. They are very upright and rigid in the ways of how traditional Confucianism regards life. Monogamy is rooted in the practice of marriage rights for it as the couple are to be presented as a united "hūn yīn/婚姻" in harmony for both families and society. The backbone of the work is heavily reliant upon Confucian rites and standards of life and not the fantastical more background of cultivation techniques. It was a significant event to wed and a major part of life to present in the Qing dynasty and was actually very grounded even with the selection of just what names potential wives had for the imperial line. Note the only ones allowed to have polyamory or harem, was the emperor of China and the imperial leaders.

It goes in so far that a major reason for divorce itself was due to incompatibility and lacking familial piety and any basis of grounds of being unable to divorce as such are, the wife has no other family, she observed filial piety of mourning a passed in law, or she married a poor husband who was now profitable (that united couple basis for making a living space).

Jin Guangshan in the eyes of a very heavily based Confucian world, is to be side-eyed and kept hush. The cultivation world of MDZS does not rely on the imperial rule, and as such seem to be considered part of the "normal society" and are of the expectation of one wife. Feudal lords, which the sects are not, have the one wife one consort rule. There is an entire system at place for political imperial lords for marriage and concubines. Guangshan's actions are a spur against social expectations and an embarrassment as to such why his illegitimate sons are pointed out as such and Madam Jin does not comment on his forays. He is not an imperial figure within the world and is only a cultivator who are at their basis supposed to embody Confucian teachings.

One point in each of the novels is that MXTX pokes fun at the horrors of concubine and harem lifestyles as being lonely cutthroat and cruel. Cause well, harem life in imperial China really sucked and was an antithesis to what confucian teachings were supposed to be. It is meant to point out the hypocrisy of Chinese harems of the royalty. And given, each of her protagonists are of the ideal of true confucian meanings "one husband one wife" is a big deal for each of her three leading couples.

[transrobins]

saw your tags on that wayne family adventures post and just wanted to say youre not alone. i don't think the writers meant it like that at all, and i don't think it's bad for people to like it/think it's funny, but yeah, it was a bit uncomfortable for me. that first panel where tim is looking up in at bruce's shadow in particular made me v uncomfortable. i dont really have a point with this other than commiserating lol, but i never do like humor where parents mess with their kids

Thank you for this <3

I always worry people will tell me I'm overreacting or making too big a deal of things if I point this kind of stuff out, so it's nice to know I'm not alone on this

These kinds of jokes, where the Batkids' friends are scared of Bruce and it's played for laughs, are really common in this fandom. Hell, I've put them in my fics before. But the more I think about it the more fucked up it gets

Cause the underlying reality of that joke is that 1) Tim's friends are scared of Bruce, 2) Bruce knows this, and 3) he weaponizes that fear to... ruin their movie night? It's not like they were doing anything wrong. To me it reads like Bruce trying to isolate Tim from his friends, which is an abuse tactic

And I 100% believe that's not what the writers intended, and they probably just didn't think too far into it. "Intimidating dad who scares people off" such a common joke, in this fandom and elsewhere, that it's easy to just go with it. I do think it's worth pointing out the assumptions underneath a joke like that, though. Parents scaring away their kids' friends is fucked up, actually

I dunno. I have a lot of opinions about how humor gets used to normalize abuse, and then those jokes get recycled so often that we forget to look at what they really mean. People don't wanna hear that they laughed at something that's actually kind of sinister, but laughing at a joke and then realizing later that it's messed up doesn't say anything bad about you as a person, I'm sure we've all done it

Anyway, thanks for this. I really appreciate it :)

-Merc

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Chapter 8

Warnings: None

Tag List: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

For once, I was actually looking forwards to going to school. Thanks to Kyotani, I've become steadily more confident in my academic skills. It's not a huge step forwards, but, a step forwards none the less. My grades have been getting better as well, which was just a added bonus to my already great mood. I would have to really consider how I'm going to thank him for all his hard work. Maybe I'll take him out to eat somewhere he likes? Or maybe take him and Killer to a dog park? Or we could go to that new guitar shop that just opened up a well ago, he does play bass after all, maybe he'd want to check out what they had.

"Maybe he can teach me how to play too." I chuckle. Geez, this all was starting  to sound like I wanna ask him out in a date. It's not totally untrue. I would like to ask him out but, there's no way I could actually go through with it. I don't even think he likes me like that. "Man...this sucks. Why can't I just-" My words were cut short when I suddenly bumped into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry!" I quickly apologized. The person I ran into turned to face me, oh....great. "Uh, hey there...you?" I say awkwardly. "You? Really?" The person of, girl, I ran into was an old "enemy" of mine. "I think I've made myself known to you the last time we met." She spat as she placed her hand on her hip.

This was Chiharu Kumiko, also known as, "Oikawa's number one fangirl". She's hated me since the day I became friends with him, always thought we were dating or I had a crush on him. Which was the furthest thing from the true, and yet, she still had it out for me. "Yeah you did. Now if you don't mind, I need to get to class." I say as I try and walk past her. "Sure, "get to class". So you can hoe around with Oikawa-Senpai?" Ignore her, Y/n, ignore her. She's just trying to start a fight, a fight I will finish if she keeps pissing me off. "Bitch I know you hear me!" Kumiko grabs onto my arm and jerks me back. "Let go!" I snap at her, yanking my arm away. The commotion we were causing seem to attract a small group of people. Great, just what I wanted. Kumiko raised her hand to strike me, but before she got the chance, someone grabbed her hand. We both look back at the person who stopped her. "Kyotani?"

"What do you think you're doing?" I could tell Kyotani was furious. His voice was intimidating and his eyes narrowed. I was surprised he wasn't crushing Kumiko's hand right now, he was defiantly holding back. "The hell!? Let go of me you freak!" Kumiko jerks her hand away from Kyotani. Before she left, she turned to me, glaring daggers. "This isn't over, skank." With that, she storms off. I roll my eyes, my attention now back at the crowd, I hid my face in embarrassment. Thanks a lot Kumiko, you attention seeking bitch. "Problem!?" Kyotani snaps at them. The crowd eventually dispersed and continued on their own ways.

"Are you ok? Did she hurt you?" Kyotani asked. I shake my head, a smile retuning to my face. "Thank you Kyotani." I say gratefully. "What's that girl's problem?" He asks. "She has a thing for Oikawa and she thinks I do too."

"Do you?" That question kinda took me by surprise. I didn't know Kyotani would be interested in stuff like that. "No. He's annoying." That made him chuckle. 'Cute...oh right' I suddenly remembered, I still have to thank him. "Um, Kyotani. I wanted to thank you for helping me study. My grades have been getting better because of your help! So, I was thinking...maybe I could take you somewhere as a thank you. If you want to, that is."

"O-oh...sure you can if you want." Kyotani murmurs. "Really? Cool! Let's meet up after school ok?" Kyotani nods, I wave him goodbye before hurrying to class.

Your P.O.V.

I waited at the school gate for Kyotani, and I just could help but smile like an idiot the entire time. How could I not? I sorta, kinda, maybe just asked my crush out on a date, and he said yes! Now I just have to manage not to mess it up. "Just don't act like a creep. Shouldn't be too hard." I say to no one other than myself. "A creep would talk to themselves though, so I should probably stop." I sigh. I might have been ecstatic about Kyotani and I having a day to ourselves, but I was also super nervous. This would be my first "date" with a boy.

What am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to say? Maybe I should have a waited to go home and change, maybe do something with my hair. I shook my head, reminding myself that this is not a date. I'm just thanking him for helping me study. That's all. I can call it a date for when I actually gain the nerve to ask him out. "Hey." I gasp at the sudden voice. I turned to see Kyotani approaching. "Hi." I wave. "You ready to go?" He nods and walks beside me. "Um, so I was thinking." I began. "Maybe we stop by the new music store and then after we can grab a bite to eat? Anywhere you like."

"Sounds good." Kyotani simply says. The two of us made our way into town, talking the whole way to the music store. It looked like one of the newer ones in town, it has that new shine to everything. As we walked inside, I immediately felt out of place. Everyone inside the store was clearly a professional, and I knew absolutely nothing about instruments. But I had to admit, everything in the store looked amazing. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to pick up a music lesson, maybe I'll try the (favorite instrument). "See anything you like?" I asked Kyotani. I could tell he was already invested in the different basses they had. His eyes were glued onto the different colored, slick shinning stringed instruments. "Hmm...I don't really need a new bass. Maybe replace the strings on mine." I walk over to the basses to join him in browsing, when I came across something. Stickers. I pick a few and look them over, there wasn't really any that stuck out in particular, until I found one that couldn't be ignored.

"Oh! Kyotani, look at this!" I showed him a sticker of a Shiba Inu, it was growling and there was some foam in the corners of it's mouth, and a firey background behind the dog, yet it still had that cute appeal to it. I saw Kyotani's eyes light up. "It looks like Killer." He says as I give it to him. "Right? I figured you'd want to put it on your bass." I tell him. He looked over the sticker a few more seconds before nodding. "Yeah. I will." I smile brightly and reach into my school bag. I pulled out my wallet and counted out the right amount to pay for the sticker. "What are you doing?" Kyotani asks. "Buying it. You like it right?"

"I can't let you pay for it." I shake my head. "I don't mind. Besides, I'm treating you today, remember?" I take the sticker and approach the counter. "Just this for today." I tell the cashier man as I slide the money and sticker on the counter. He nods and rings up the sticker before handing it back to me. I turn back to Kyotani and hand him the sticker. "There you go. Now let's go eat, I'm starving." I subconsciously grab his hand and lead him out of the store.

Third P.O.V

Unknowing to Y/n, Kyotani felt his heart flutter and his cheeks warm. He felt like he had made a really good choice befriending her. Kyotani smiled slightly and wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Yeah, me too."

The two teens made their way to a small restaurant, Kyotani had suggested it, told Y/n that it was his favorite place to go. Curious about the place, Y/n was excited to go as well. The waitress lead them to their table and set menus in front of them .They both ordered and and the waitress held up a pen and notepad. "And would the lady and gentleman like the couple's special? 10% off your order and free desert." The waitress asks. 'Wow, that's one hell of a deal.' Y/n thought to herself. "We're not-" She cut Kyotani. "Gonna refuse that! Thank you so much." She clasps her hands together. Kyotani gives her a surprised look. "Lovely! I'll have that right out!" She took the menus and walked away. "....Y/n?"

"I didn't have that much money and it was a good deal, you have to admit...sorry..." Y/n mutters, looking down at the table. "N-no it's fine just...it was shocking." Kyotani says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah..." Y/n clears her throat awkwardly. "I mean, seriously who would willing admit they're in a relationship with me?" Y/n blinks a few times, did she hear him correctly. She looks up across the table at him. "What do you mean?" She asks.

"Well, I don't get asked out a lot, if you can imagine." Y/n leans her head on her hand. "Really? You'd think girls would love a 'bad boy' like you." She giggles. "But really, you're not that bad Kyotani. People just has to get to know you." Kyotani shrugs. "I just didn't mind it as much before..." He trails off. "Before what?" Y/n asks. "Nothing. Forget it."

Y/n raised an eyebrow then leans back in her seat. 'Ever the secretive type.' She thought with a sigh. "Well, I think you're just fine the way you are. If others can't or won't take the time to actually know you, then that's their loss." She tells him. Once again, Kyotani felt his heart skip a beat. This was getting dangerous. Kyotani hadn't felt something like this, he never had crushes before. But this, it felt like more than just a crush. He hated the thought, but he could possibly love Y/n. Why he hated it was simple. Kyotani wasn't just 'not a ladies man', he wasn't a anyone's man. All his life he had better things to focus on, like volleyball, rather than stupid crushes and relationships that wouldn't last more than a year and a half.

So that's why this was so scary. Kyotani really really liked Y/n, but he couldn't stand the thought of giving up something he loved because of his bad habbits. Wether that something was volleyball, or even Y/n. She wasn't to blame. It was him. Kyotani wasn't the best of people. If he hurt her, in anyway, he would never forgive himself. So, it would be best, if Kyotani ignored these new feelings. For the better, for himself, and for Y/n.

The two were walking home together that night. Kyotani made sure Y/n got to her home saefly before saying goodbye. "Thank's for treating me today, even though you didn't have to." Kyotani tells her. "Aw, it was nothing." Y/n waved it off. "That's what senpai's are for right?" She winks. Kyotani gulped and nods his eyes. "Y-yeah. Anyway, see you later. Thanks again." He turned to leave. "Kyotani, hang on!" Kyotani was about to turn around to ask Y/n what she stopped him for, when suddenly she hugged him tightly. Kyotani's face turned a light shade of red as he felt her arms wrap tightly arounf his waist. Slowly, he raised his arms to hug her bag, but before he could she quickly let go and rushed to her door. "Goodnight!" She squeaks out before hurrying inside her home. Kyotani was left there alone, eyes wide with shock. His agaped mouth closed, and his arms dropped to his sides.

"...Damn it."

Previous | Next

[ginjointsintheworld]

Going into season 4 of NA I was skeptical the writers were going to do right by Leyren. I was as forgiving as possible because season 3 was short. They are getting proper development and hitting good relational storylines and its not even mid-season. I do wonder what's still to come before the bribe fall out. I obviously want more Dr. Shinwari and more on the how/why Leyla came to the U.S. is there anything in particular you want to see from these two individually or as a couple?

same, same. i really wasn't sure how much they were going to incorporate leyla even as a resident but i'm very pleased so far. but hmm things i'd like to see before we all have to take drama cover

of course like you said more on leyla's backstory. the who, what, when, where, why, give me all of it bay-be. i will literally accept finding out what leyla's favorite ice cream flavor is.

lauren and leyla tag teaming on a patient case. we got a glimpse of that with joe in 4x02 when leyla helps figure out what he has but i'd like to see them working together over an entire episode

more lauren and leyla professional disagreements because. yes. plus i just really love their tense, clashing chemistry

BRING! ON! VANESSA! BLOOM! i'm actually surprise we haven't seen more of lauren's family. i was just rewatching lauren's therapy session from s1 and she carries a lot of guilt over how she left vanessa behind when she was so young to deal with their mom while she went off to college. probably even feels responsible in some way for vanessa being an addict. she even called her sister a bigger mess than their mom. there's SO much unresolved story there

leyla working with the main cast!!! but i'd also love it if like friends of leyla from pakistan came to visit and lauren met them so the integration of lives goes both ways.

ACTUALLY WHILE WE'RE ON THAT. HAS LAUREN MET/TALKED TO LEYLA'S MOM???? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!! we're going to get leyla interacting with mama bloom so it's only fair we get the other way around.

lauren and leyla date night. or making plans for it. i know it's a somewhat rare occasion to see the characters do much outside the hospital but i'm a sap and need some every day domesticity. so if the writers wanna say have lauren and leyla called into the hospital for some emergency and they come rushing in wearing rangers jerseys cause 'what? we were at the game. it's the playoffs.' i'm here for it.

leyla talking about why she switched from peds to EM. i know it was probably for logistics but did she find that emergency medicine was basically what she was doing in refugee camps and took a liking to it? was peds too emotionally draining? was she curious from hearing lauren's ED stories after she'd come home from work, chatting about her day while changing out of her clothes as leyla was throwing together dinner? is peds an area she'd like to go back to? the! people! need! to! know!

leyla or lauren leaning on each other after a hard case or losing a patient

and finally, this is not necessarily a wish for this season but EYE would like to eventually see a proposal. i don't think i'd even need the wedding? i just want to know who'd pop the question first and what brutally accurate but romantic roast speech they'd give or if someone (lauren) just blurts the question out

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

The Salem House or The Scottish Cottage

Quick Tag List: @kuruumiya @spacelizardtrashboys @stupidbluegirl @enigmaticandunstable @nattinngrst

This Passage Contains Potentially: swearing, violence, blood, angst, whump, fluff and smutty content.

Summary: Rod and Kirby move in to their new cottage home in Salem, Oregon.

Kirby's POV:

Rod blindfolded me with one of his ties and drove our rented van out to the property, taking off my blindfold in front of the house.

"There it is, our new home," he twirled the keys around his index finger, "all ours now, Kirbs."

There it was, white panel exterior with fancy windows and lights along both sides of the gravel path towards the house. Without thinking I pulled Rod into a hug and kissed him, tears of happiness rolling down my cheek.

"Woah, baby, are ya alright sweetheart?"

"I love it, and I love you and-" Upon hearing that, Rod hoisted me over his shoulder, "Woah, Roddy, what are you doing?"

"Taking you inside and carrying you to the one room I know you're gonna love."

He carried me through the front double doors, through the foyer and then the kitchen, before carrying me past the television and sofa, past what I believe is the ground floor bathroom and up the stairs, letting me get a glance at the basement staircase as we went up to the top floor of our new home.

He then put me down in front of a pale green door with a childish or childlike, chalk or pastel drawing on the front.

I turned the handle slowly, not knowing what to expect.

Then I saw it.

The lone white bassinet.

Surrounded by soft toys and things you'd assume would be in a nursery.

"The former owners said that they're daughter was gonna move in before she moved to L.A. They knew she had a baby and set this room up. I'm gonna be honest with ya and tell ya that I let a couple tears slip when I saw this room ma-self, so I completely understand if you need a moment alone."

"Rod, Roddy, as much as I hate the weird wallpaper in the foyer, this room is," I took a second to compose myself, "It's perfect."

"Do ya wanna see our bedroom?"

"Yeah."

Rod showed me around the rest of the house before going into the basement.

"There's no attic, so the basement will have to do if we want to store anything anywhere."

The basement was large, the only room separated off from the rest of the basement was another bathroom. I walked to the opposite side of the basement and stopped in my tracks.

"What's wrong babe?"

"They have a hot tub?!"

"What?"

Rod walked over to me, also stopping upon seeing the hot tub in it's own corner of the basement, separate from the gym equipment and rugs and the very empty basement.

"What d'ya reckon they use that for?" Rod asked, teasing me slightly.

"No, Rod, eww, that's gross, you wouldn't dare suggest that!"

"Hot tub sex, babe, it's a thing."

"We are not doing that. Ever!"

"We are alone in the house, you know." He started unbuckling his belt, chucking it as well as his sporran down at his feet, "I know we've gotta fly back to the other side of the country later, but, right now, we're home, honey," He started walking towards me, whipping his jacket and shirt off, leaving him in his kilt and boots as he ran his hand through his hair, letting out a deep guttural sigh.

"I guess we could test out the new bed, Roddy." I started unbuttoning my shirt, exposing the peach toned tank top underneath.

"Or, We could have sex right here and now," He suggested, whipping his kilt off and in true Scottish fashion, revealing nothing but his bare body below.

He unclenched his hand, showing off the fact that he had brought a condom with him.

By the time we got to Taunton, Massachusetts on the first of March, Roddy had set aside some time for us to redecorate the house, and by the time we actually got around to redecorating, Roddy had recruited the rest of the D.O.D as well a Schultz, Orton and Orndorff to help us. We had met back at the house on the Eleventh (of March) and unbeknownst to me, Piper had made a couple calls to his friends from back in his NWA and Mid Atlantic days.

"Woo!"

"He didn't." Schultz grunted out, partly worried and partly surprised.

"He didn't do what … David?"

Schultz guided me outside to meet the guys.

"Piper! introduce ya wife to the boys, I'll go grab us some beer."

"I'm not his wife," I called after him as he walked back inside, "So, Roddy, who are these guys."

Rod leant up to kiss me, he would have backed me into the nearest wall if I didn't pull away immediately after, concern taking over any hint of a flirtatious mood in me.

"Who's this fine female?"

I recognised the voice from the yell earlier.

"Ric, this is my girlfriend, Kirby. Kirby, this is Ric Flair. Over there," he gestured to the other four, "Are Tully Blanchard, with the black hair, JJ Dillon, the other blonde looking one and Ole and Arn Anderson."

"Are they here to help or are they here to distract you?"

"The only thing distracting me is the idea of seeing you na-"

I covered Rod's mouth with my hand and gave Ric a sheepish smile, "I apologise for my hus, I mean boyfriend's attitude Ric."

"You almost said husband, Kirbs." Rod whispered to me as we led the boys inside, before he took me aside.

"It was a slip of the tongue."

"I'm sorry, about the kiss, I got a bit jealous because I know what Ric can be like, with women in particular."

"Rod, you shouldn't have to apologise for that, I love ya. I was going to start looking for you anyway, what d'ya want for lunch?"

"Don't you worry about that, I'll go grill those hamburgers we have in the fridge and … hey look, beer."

"Thank you, David."

"Anytime, Tall-ass."

"Look, babe, I'll deal with it alright, you stop worrying and I'll deal with it. I'm the man of the house so I'll deal with it."

I came up behind Roddy, putting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his waist, kissing his neck.

"I'm gonna go rest for a bit Rod, my head feels funny."

"Baby, baby come here."

Rod helped me upstairs, making sure I didn't fall over and letting me lay on the bed.

"We have today and tomorrow here baby, relax."

"Rod, you know me, you know I wind myself up with worry."

"I know," He brushed his thumbs over my knuckles, "I'm gonna get you some hand wraps or something, stop punching things until ya knuckles bleed."

"I thought you were gonna go cook."

"I am, but, right now, I'm taking in every little detail of the woman I love."

"You softie."

"Oh really? I'm soft. You worry way more than me baby."

"I love you, Roddy."

"I love you too, Kirby."

I slept for a short while until I was woken up by Piper and Schultz yelling obscenities at each other. I ran down the stairs and outside the house to see the two grown men squabbling like children.

Without saying anything I picked Roddy up by his midsection and took him back inside, chucking him down on the sofa.

"I'm gonna fuckin-"

"Roderick!"

"Yes, baby."

"You are drunk, and shut up."

"Yes, Sweetheart."

I helped Roddy up, almost gagging at how strong the smell of alcohol was coming from him, swiftly avoiding his attempts at kissing me and placing my hand over his mouth.

By the Thirteenth we were back working and Rod had started to get fidgety around me until things came to a head on the Thirtieth.

"Rod, are you alright, you've been awfully quiet today."

"I'm fine baby, actually, Kirby?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to be on Piper's Pit?"

"When?"

"Sunday, Yes or No?"

"This Sunday?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there's your answer."

"Wait, you'll do it."

"Of fucking course I'll do it. I don't give a fuck what Damien says."

He let out a chuckle as I pulled into the hotel parking lot.

"How's the Visa status going?"

"It's good, I'll hopefully be a US citizen before the end of May."

"So, May, you'll be a citizen, so," He mumbled to himself for a short while, "Alright, cool."

Before long it was time for me to be on Piper's Pit, fully expecting Roddy to do something and cause a ruckus to occur.

"Well, I'd just like you to know, it's a pleasure to have our first, female, guest on Piper's Pit. I want you to know that I asked every single female in the entire WWF if they would be on the Pit and only one of them said 'yes' to me. The only woman with enough guts to face me with 'Gluttony' herself, Kirby Lucifarian. Kirby, I would like to thank you for being brave enough to come out here and face me. I had Captain Lou on here last week and he said something vague about you and your sisters protecting Lauper. Why would a woman like you, someone who doesn't smoke, doesn't swear, doesn't drink, or shack up with skinny little idiots like Dave Wolff, Why would a great and accomplished female wrestler like you offer her protection to Lauper?"

"First of all, Piper, thank you for having me on here."

"My pleasure."

"Secondly, I was going to let you unmask me, but you showed support of Big John Studd, A man I greatly despise for his disrespect of both me and André."

"I am sorry for going back on that unspoken promise, Miss Lucifarian."

"Thank you for the apology, Roddy, Thirdly, may I say that I did not offer my services of protection to Miss Lauper, instead that was my father who told, Miss Lauper, that the D.O.D would protect her. Why on earth would a woman with an intelligence that rivals, yours for example, protect a girl like Cyndi Lauper?"

"I don't admire a lot of women, but you, I like you. I admire your intelligence, your ability to strike fear into the hearts of men with your words alone. I know that you have been searching for your next challenging opponent, and I for one don't wanna offer myself up, I just want to know how difficult it has been for the past few weeks going without a challenging enough opponent for your skill level?"

"Well, Piper, it's been tough, honestly, I think I may have scared everyone off. As someone who has previously been banned from women's competition, I find getting any support in the ring quite hard at times. I find your lack of fear quite charming, honest to the Lord above, you charm me, boyo."

"Thank you, you're a real sweetheart. Quick question, why do you call me 'boyo'?"

"Don't you call men 'lad' in Glasgow?"

"Oh, I see, anyway, before you go, one last thing."

I wasn't expecting this, the rest me and Rod had planned in advance, but not that line, he said he wasn't going to pull anything, he gave me his word.

Then, before I knew what was going on, he unbuckled my mask, pulling it down for a moment and kissed me square on the lips, in front of the cameras and the fans.

I tried to stand up and he dipped me down into the kiss, much to the enjoyment of the fans, who were hooting and hollering, obviously this doesn't happen much in the WWF.

Roddy kept his right hand intertwined with my ponytail and had his left arm around my back, supporting most of my waist as he brought me back up and helped me re-fix my mask into it's rightful spot.

After the show I tried to avoid Roddy for a couple minutes, trying to make sense of why he would do such a thing knowing full well we were not an 'out' couple or even an 'in' couple with the fans, sure the fans enjoying the moment was nice, but we were both heels, we were not supposed to do that off-screen, let alone on-screen and in front of a full crowd of fans.

I came to the decision to drop it for now and wait for Rod to hopefully explain his actions or somehow work it into a programme.

My mind started to wonder, maybe he would try to use that as blackmail against Damien, or even against me.

The D200's door opening and slamming shut caught me off guard, making me jump a little.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to scare ya."

"I'm fine, Roddy, just caught up in my thoughts, that's all."

"What were ya thinking about?"

"Nothing important, mainly just what happened earlier."

"Ya mean, me, Orndorff and Schultz winning the match?"

"No, Roderick, the kiss, we didn't plan that."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to clear that with ya, but Orndorff and Schultz said that it would get the fans interested."

"Hon."

"Yeah?"

"Next time, please clear everything we do in a promo or interview with me first, so I don't start wondering if you'll blackmail me."

"I would never blackmail ya, maybe Damien, but never you."

"I love you, ya hot-headed, kilt wearing idiot."

"I love you to, ya blonde, gothic, tattooed Ivory tower."

"Did you call me an 'Ivory tower'?"

"You're tall and pale, what d'ya want me to say?"

END OF THE SALEM HOUSE or THE SCOTTISH COTTAGE

[ashen-laguz]

About Me Meme

tagged by @disneydreamlights

Nickname: Ash or Laguz. I tend to go by Ash as if it was more of a 'real name' in spaces where I'm open about gender stuff, but uh. It's still technically in nickname territory atm.

Zodiac: Leo in astrological, Rat in Chinese

Height: Just under 6'2

Last movie I saw: i straight-up don't remember cause I almost never watch movies tbh. uhh i did rewatch twisted a while ago though and that's movie length, so it totally counts, right

Last thing I googled: hissatsu no command english (i was trying to find a translation to the lyrics of one of those fun game-themed songs from SoraMafuUraSaka since it video itself isn't have subtitles)

Favorite musician:Eve

Song stuck in my head: Will Stetson's Rainy Boots cover,,, i like the original a lil better but I can't sing alng to the japanese so it's the english version that always sticks in my head

Other blogs I run: anything else i could link is either old main i'm now embarrassed of or private so uh

Blogs Following: 109 but there's def a lot of inactives I've been meaning to go unfollow so this number will shrink

Amount of Sleep: my sleep schedule is inconsistent and I can get anywhere from 5-9 hours on the average day. Usually probably more in the 7 hour range but. sometimes insomnia hits, and sometimes people are loud around here and wake me up early

Lucky Number:i've flip-flooped on favorite number a lot throughout the years but probaby 2

Dream Job: voice acting - it's currently just a hobby and idk if I could realistically deal with all the necessary social skills and attention you need for it, but I'll be damned if it's not something I've dreamed of on occasion just because i really have fun with it

Dream Trip:idk i'm not really the traveling sort. anywhere my friends are i guess, the fact most of em live so far from me sucks u-u

Languages: Only fluent in english, though I remember some bits and pieces of ASL. I'd have to study/practice it again to be conversational in it tho

Favorite Food: alfredo angel hair pasta w/ chicken in it <3

Favorite Song: Literary Nonsense from Eve - my current favorites tend to change up a lot, but Literary Nonsense is an eternal jam for me so (though the english cover from Kino Hiko is fucking superb and i HIGHLY recommend it <3) (Night is Faint + How to Eat Life are also high-tier faves so ye :3)

Random Fact: Harvest Moon:Trees of Tranquility is actually to thank for my basic understanding of how shapes and stuff work when trying to art - I'd just copy/trace over stuff a lot when I first started drawing, the most 'complicated' thing I would try was some of the character models from that game in particular. tbh I think I still see how it's just eternally influenced my current art style, so,,,

Describe yourself as an aesthetic thing: probly wings or something like that? birds have kinda become my brand, but also i feel like wing fit nicely into some tropes and traits i really like in fiction

Tagging:idk man i don't feel like going through an tagging folks. if we're mutuals and you wanna do it then consider yourself tagged i suppose : p

[rogue-barnes-16]

I'M A MONSTER

Summary: Y/n knew for a fact that Wanda was definitely not doing well when it came to dates. After a particular rough night, Y/n finds out the reason for what had been happening.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem!Reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, angst, makeout session

A/N: —

"Morning" I greeted the three members of the Avengers who were doing nothing but chill in the leisure room.

"Mornin' doll" Bucky replied without looking up from his laptop.

Clint gave me a quick glance before redirecting his whole attention to the TV show he was watching. "You look terrible."

"Thank you very much." I replied sarcastically, pouring myself a glass of orange juice. "it's Steve's fault, by the way." Bucky asked an intrigued 'how so', to which I responded. "had to train with him because someone didn't show up this morning, right Wan?"

The brunette witch, who hadn't even spared me a brief look, nor a single word, flickered her gaze to my form. "Sorry."

"what happened?" I asked, keeping it cool.

I didn't want her to realize I had heard her cry until she fell asleep the night before, right after she had come back from another date.

I didn't want her to know I was worried sick about something I wasn't supposed to know, so I kept it cool.

"Nothing," she shrugged turning the page of her book without making eye contact with anyone in the room. "I was just not in the mood."

"Wait what the fuck?" my eyes traveled to the archer. "Wanda, this doesn't work like that." Clint scolded her. "You gotta train every day, it's not about being 'in the mood', this is your job."

"Clint, give her a break." I tried to get in the middle and cool things down after seeing the way Wanda started to fidget with her ring, just like she did every time she was anxious or uncomfortable. "it was a one time thing."

"It wasn't." Bucky spoke, giving me a look before turning his gaze to Wanda. "I really hate to lecture you, but Barton's right." Wanda's green eyes looked for aid in mines, but I wasn't sure of how to help her. You've been skipping training on and off for two weeks, kid." she left the book aside and started pulling at her sleeves. "If you feel like you can't keep up with Y/n's rhythm, say it. Tony will change your partner but-"

She grabbed the book and, after abruptly getting up from the bed, Wanda stalked out of the room.

"what's gotten into her now?" Clint asked, rather worried.

"Dunno man." after Bucky’s reply to Clint's rhetorical question, the soldier's blue eyes lingered on my form, longer enough for me to notice. "Hey Y/n" When he called my attention, I knew he was onto something. "why don't you go and check on Maximoff?"

"Why would I?" I quietly asked whilst internally dying to sprint through the hall in order to reach Wanda's room.

Bucky waited an instant before answering me, in which he took the liberty of analyzing my body language. "You're the closest to the door." with a half grin playing in his lips, he turned back to the laptop.

Damn, he knew.

"I mean-" I cleared my throat, considering all my alternatives. "I think she just needs some time alone."

Nor Bucky, nor Clint turned around, but I could feel their confusion.

Despite my shocking reply, I wasn't actually lying.

Wanda was a very introverted girl, very sensitive. She had her own way of dealing with her own problems and, as much as I would love to help, her ways, more often than not, didn't include the girl who had fallen in love with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Friday night again.

Wanda had gone on a date again.

"you seem happy" I lazily commented, pretending I hadn't been stealing glances at her smile since that morning, when she received a message from a random stranger.

"Oh" she attempted to bit back a smile by chewing her lower lip. "Do I?" I turned around to see her struggling to zip up her dress. "Hey Y/n can you-"

"Hold on" I left the book I was reading aside and stepped towards her. "where ya going?" I questioned, parting her hair from her back.

"Uhm I have a..." I felt her, rather than heard her, sigh when my fingertips intentionally ghosted a line down from her neck to her bare low back before actually zipping her dress. "I have a date."

"Nice." I whispered, accommodating her long hair back in its initial place. "have fun and take care alright?" I struggled to pull my hands away from her.

"I will." she replied, turning around with beaming eyes that seemed to be waiting for something else from me. "don't worry."

I had been taking it out on one of the gym's punching bags for at least a couple of hours, until I was so tired that I couldn't walk, until I had no energy to keep hurting for things I would never say, until every feeling I had for Wanda had been shoved out of my body, at least for a while.

I was making my way to my room when I heard her crying again.

This time I was too tired to hold back, I was too tired to think about giving her space, and before I knew it, I was pushing open Wanda's room's door.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I tiredly asked, taking her completely off guard and, therefore, making her give me her back while she cleaned her tears.

"Nothing, I-I'm fine." she lamely lied.

"Wanda, don't even try, I'm not stupid." I replied, taking a few steps towards her. "almost every night you go out on a date, you come here crying."

She shook her head, slowly turning around, hugging herself. "That's not-"

"I swear on my life" I stared speaking, finally reaching her. "If those assholes are hurting you I'm gonna kill them one by fucking one."

"it's not like that." she muttered with trembling lips.

"what do you mean?"

"it's my fault" she choked up, finally making her green eyes, now glassy and bloodshot, dig into mines. "I'm a monster."

She let herself fall to the floor sat against the wall, straight up sobbing, and I couldn't do anything but stare blankly at her, barely starting to process what had just come out of her plump, rosy lips.

"Wanda" my voice sounded broken, but I couldn't help it. "Wanda, that's not true. What the fuck" I kneeled before her, caressing tenderly and reassuringly every part of her that I reached. "that's not fucking true. Wanda look at me. Wanda." I lifted her chin. "that's not fucking true."

"it is." she replied, sniffing with her eyes shut and her lips pursed in an attempt to stop the tears and the quivering. "you just don't wanna see it. No one--" hiccup. "no one here does b-but I know it's true."

"Wanda for fucks sake it's not true." I pulled her hands to get her to look at me because I was dying to show her how wrong that statement was, even if I wasn't sure yet of how I was going to show her. "Wanda please-- listen to me. Doesn't my opinion count or what the fuck?"

"It's- It's n-not like that it's-- I'm-- Y/n you don't... You see wh- only what you-- you don't see my dark side... I..." words came out of her stumbling as she tried to cover her face once more.

"Look at me!" I tugged her hands harder this time, in a way that she had no option but stare into my eyes, red from holding back the tears. "I don't fucking see your dark side? who the fuck was in Sokovia by your side when you lost it? Whose mind you played with the first time I met you?" the brunette's lip quivered again and I brought her closer. "You're not a monster."

"youjustsaythatbecauseyouloveme" the sentence came out of her so quick and chaotic that I almost didn't understand it.

Almost.

"I'm saying it because I know you." My voice finally shattered, trying to ignore the fact that she knew about my feelings for her —feelings that probably were unrequited— at the same time as I struggled to prove she was wrong. "You're loving, kind-hearted, empathic, amazing, trustful, funny, and I also see your damn flaws alright? But that's- that's not the point."

"then what's the point?" she muttered, tired and hurt.

She was looking for something in particular in my next reply, but I didn't take the cue.

No, no I didn't catch what she was looking for, because my mind was buzzing way too loud, not allowing me to notice that Wanda had just realized I may have feelings for her, feelings that mirrored hers.

"the... The point is that you- I--" I gripped her hands tight, as if the thoughts I couldn't put into words could be sent to her mind by our touch. "the point is that I'm gonna fucking kill whoever said this to you, 'cause-- 'cause I'm-- this-"

I fixed my eyes on hers, and still didn't catch a glimpse of her sudden desire for me to finally put my feelings into those three words.

I didn't catch that, but I didn't come to the conclusion that there was only a way I could somehow show her how wrong she was.

I gave both her hands one last tug and my lips attacked hers, desperate for making the witch feel loved, desperate to prove she wasn't a monster.

Tears kept streaming down my face, instantly being aware of the high chances of her rejecting me, but a thought crossed my mind that gave me strength not to pull away and run.

If someone has to be broken, better be me because of a truth, than her because of an ugly lie.

The chaos in my head stopped me from noticing the sob of relief that came out of Wanda, muffled by my lips, along with her shaky fingers holding onto my shirt as if it was the end of the world.

She pulled away and I prepared myself for the worst, already letting go of her arm and cheek.

To my surprise, in her eyes I saw what I had missed during the kiss, and I also saw love and desire.

She didn't hesitate before closing the gap between us by holding the sides of my neck, letting one of her hands travel to my hair to tug it slightly the moment our mouths reunited.

My hands pulled her hips to mine and sat her down on my lap. "I love you too" she mumbled between hungry kisses, unconsciously rocking her hips to mines. "I... I love you..."

The grip on her hips tightened enough to bruise her while a moan or two left my lips. "Wanda... Wait" I made her stop and, after pecking her lips I pulled away. "I need a shower first."

She nodded but didn't leave her spot.

"Wanda?"

"can I shower with you?" she asked shyly, looking down at her lap.

"of course" I replied kiss her jaw with a half smile. "let's go alright?"