#not tagging king because she's only mentioned i don't really feel like it would be fair

[hpgal]

DC X DP: VACATION TO A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE Pt. 1

CW: mentions of death

TLDR: Danny is stressed and depressed feeling like despite all the changes in his life, he feels like he is still the same.

Word Count: 1310

a/n: I plan on making multiple parts to this one but it will take some time. This is more a draft to part 1 than anything else and will most likely end up on AO3 in the future as a more completed version of itself once it is done here on Tumblr. Any feedback and suggestions (or even if you want to continue this plot with your own spin on it as long as I am credited/ tagged so I can read it too!) is very much welcomed!!

Danny wanted a change.

Not just for fun either. Though fun would be nice between all these Ghost King responsibilities he had been forced to start learning for when he comes of age, or well not, technically?

He doesn't know! It's complicated! He was 17 now, but his ghost age was only 3! The Observants said to fully assume the throne his ghost age was supposed to be 18 at the youngest but they'd make an exception for when he was 18 in the living realm.

Ghee, thanks you weirdos, because I totally wanted my adult life to already be over so I can manage my undead life.

Anyways, between trying to graduate and learn his forever job, he had been going to therapy now that he isn't the only ghost fighter in town. He has breaks! A support system! 14 year old Danny would never believe his parents accepted him for his ghostly side!!

His friends learned to fight and trap so well over the years that they don't even need him by their side anymore for every fight. The GIW was chased out of town and supposedly disbanded by the government because "it was a scam and ghosts don't actually exist." Even his parent's business was booming in town.

They started leaving the field work to others and focused on research. They hold ghost defense classes 3 times a week for any and all citizens. They build home defense gadgets and other anti ghost equipment to sell to the town, too. There are even kids from his class who want to get into the field now and intern at FentonWorks.

Over the years, everyone in town has grown incredibly capable of handling ghosts themselves that there is a city funded ghost protection task force. And that is all to deal with the ghosts that are more on the unruly side.

The reality is that it is not exactly necessary anymore to always be prepared for the next daily ghost attack. Since it became public knowledge for the Ghost Zone that he'd be assuming the throne, most ghosts have opted to leave Amity Park alone since it was his haunt. However, he has opened it up to any ghost who wants to visit as long as they do not leave Amity Park. And so, ghosts and the living live in harmony in the town.

In his senior year, the town has become so open to ghosts that when a ghost whose obsession is teaching, they hired him at Casper High! Danny is even in the class. He teaches an elective on astronomy, something the school could never afford. Ghosts didn't want to be paid in cash, so it helped! All Dr. Denver wants was to teach and to be allowed to claim the observatory for his research.

But while all this was great, Danny felt depressed. Which leads him back to why he was in therapy. It felt like all these amazing things have happened. That everyone has changed, except him. Thanks to his halfa status, his physical state isn't changing as much either. He discovered he is aging much, much slower.

Talking to his therapist, she helped him realize that what he craved was for a change for himself. Sure, he IS going to become The Infinite Realms king and that'll be a big change but it isn't what he wants.

He doesn't know what he wants, really. Which meant his therapist has given him an assignment to figure it out. So he talked to Clockwork, naturally hoping for some help. And Clockwork told him something surprising instead.

"Yeah, I'm ready for a change, but I don't know what to change." Danny told him in hopes the wording would draw Clockwork to give him an answer instead of something cryptic. He really didn't want to do the legwork to figure it out while he had midterms to study for and more ghost king lessons with The Observants later.

Clockwork paused as if in thought, "You could take a vacation to your universe of origin," he suggests. "That may help give clarity in what you need to change to be happy."

Danny floated next to him. He couldn't bring himself to be frustrated with the being of time for knowing exactly why Danny was here. Instead, he stared at him in confusion, distracted by what he just said, "What do you mean? I am not from here?"

He grins, his form flickering from old to young, "When you became a halfa, you changed universes from the complicated process you went through to become one."

Danny contemplated for a moment, confused but intrigued. A different universe? I wonder how different it would be from here. Without a second thought, Danny grins eager.

"I wanna go!" He exclaims like a young puppy who discovered a new toy for the first time.

"That would not be a problem, time runs differently between there and here. A week there will be an hour here so you won't need a time medallion." Clockwork simply looks off into the space surrounding them before continuing, "I have a friend who will act as your guardian while there. Head through the star shaped door near the Yetis whenever you are ready and he will be standing by, waiting for you" He shifts back into an older version of himself, pleased with himself for already knowing Danny would be taking this chance to go and made the preparations for this moment weeks ago.

Danny does a small dance in midair without a second thought and starts to drift off in that direction, "Oh, and Danny?" Clockwork calls out, "Legally, you are dead in that universe and.. well, much is different from what you know, so do be careful. Due to how time and the laws of that dimension for being such as myself, I am not the main ruler of time there, so the protection spells I placed on you are not guaranteed to save you this time." Clockwork grins knowingly towards Danny as Danny speeds off, oblivious to how serious his warning was.

---

Danny flies like the wind through the vastness of The Ghost Zone until he arrives at the door Clockwork described. His thoughts start to sour at the thought of this universe where he is considered dead despite it being his origin.

The door he arrives at is huge. Like he was not sure how to open the door huge. But wow, was it beautiful. It was like staring into space itself. It sparkled unlike any night sky he has even gazed upon. As he approached the beautiful door, he hesitated.

He was technically returning home, but he didn't feel any attachment to the universe in front of him. To him, nothing seemed different. Everything was exactly the same when he woke up after the accident, so he never noticed. The entire idea that he abandoned his family and friends by dying here was a horrible thought, but it wasn't his fault. He didn't know what happened here.

Wait, did that mean Vlad wasn't from that universe either? Danny shakes his head at the thought. It was pointless to fall down that particular rabbit hole now.

Maybe he should've asked Clockwork more before flying off without a thought. Clockworks words echoed inside him for fear of what he might find. Was this really a good idea? To return to the place he no longer existed? Could he handle seeing what the grief of his passing had done to those he loved?

A moment passes, and Danny shakes his head and steels himself. He needs to know how much changes, if he really did make an impact. Was he important?

With his decision made, the door seems to open itself. A bright beam of a soft white light floods through the threshold, and Danny steps through.

[end-orfino]

I saw some people say that Razzma didn't show up in the finale because she couldn't bear to see King ascend. And I have to agree that in normal circumstances, it could be in character for her. (Though I still think she probably wouldn't miss it. Your best friend only ascends once. But I digress)

But this argument ignores the fact that these aren't normal circumstances. King is missing, everyone thinks she's the one spreading conflict across the grove, and the only people (other than Godpoke, who just appeared) that are doing anything to "help" are the Bizzyboys, and he already noticed they're not doing anything as far back as in Milldread. She mentions that she's worried for King plenty of times, hell, I think he's one of the few characters that are talking about her in the context of being concerned about what happened to her instead of just talking about the letters she's supposedly sending and stuff.

She's also clearly familiar with the Guerrillas, both by knowing Lulu from before and knowing to call her "Colonel" now. Maybe she technically joined them? And is just chilling outside of their bunker instead of inside. Which means she would have definitely had the ability to go to the Spire with them during the finale.

And during the finale, after BuzzHuzz, there's really no other place to look for King other than on the Spire. Keep in mind no one was even really sure that she'd actually be there, it was just the best guess. And no one knew what state she'd be in, if the rumors were true or not, if she was going to actually ascend, all of that was called into question when she disappeared and the letters started showing up.

So Razzma really, really had all the reason in the world to go there. I think even if he would normally struggle with the idea of seeing her friend ascend, he wouldn't hesitate to go anywhere it took to see if King was alright in the first place.

The only real reason I can think of other than these ones for why he didn't appear would be that she trusted Godpoke with this mission after seeing how capable they were in solving conflicts everywhere else? But even then, I don't know if she would see the revolution gathering up to climb the Spire and decide "Y'know what, I'll pass, I'm sure they've got it handled." I think if she saw a real chance to get there he would take it.

I had these thoughts for a few weeks now, but I got reminded of them right now as I was replaying BuzzHuzz and got this dialogue:

I think it speaks for itself.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 24 Lambs to the slaughter

Chapter 24 of Moonlight

A/N- *TEHEHE*

Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy and SA, angst, fluff!!!, SPOILERS FOR FUTURE EVENTS OF HOTD, USING FIRE AND BLOOD, long chapter.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode/Pages- 465-469 & just a part of 480

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

Aemond. What of Aemond? Aemond this. Aemond that. Aemond, Aemond, Aemond is all you hear, it’s all anyone talks to you about like if you’re his keeper, like if…

They think it’s easy growing to hate him like they despise him, but have they really asked if it’s easy for you to view him with anything but with the eyes of love? Have they considered the fact that you grew up together, that even despite your feuding families, he and you never treated each other with anything but kindness? Don't they remember that you have a son together and have two more children on the way?

Did they forget that you married each other months before your supposed date?

Just because you left his side weeks prior doesn’t mean that you still don’t harbor the same feelings of deep love, because you do. You still hold hope and great love for Aemond—it’s a sickening fact for them to comprehend maybe; he did kill Lucerys and your grandmother. Your mother also has Daemon by her side so she doesn’t yearn, Baela is heartbroken but she loved Jacaerys, someone on the same side of the war so she could never understand, and Rhaena hasn’t found anyone to love so dearly and deeply so she doesn’t understand the ripping pain one feels when they mention killing him as easy it is to breathe; and you hope she never gets to feel such torment.

Maybe if Cregan was by your side, forgetting the love you hold for Aemond would be easier, but he’s leagues away and will remain leagues away. Thus you’re stuck being tortured with each word uttered in the Small Council hall, feeling like a blade is sinking deeper into your flesh.

“Would you have me pardon the Kinslayer, the False King, and Daeron as well?” Your mother presses your grandfather, making you suck in your cheek and gnaw on the inside as you let the winter sun bask your face as it casts through the glass doors—“Would you have me send them to the faith like Helaena and Alicent? They who stole my throne and slew my sons?”

You can hear the anger in her voice, the utter disbelief brought by such a daring suggestion.

“Spare them and send them to the wall,” your grandfather dares to continue sharing despite the visceral anger in your mother's tone. “Let them take the black and live out their lives as men of the Night’s Watch, bound by sacred vows.”

Daemon scoffs and Baela retorts against your grandfather. “What are sacred vows worth when you have dragons there to accompany you and give you an escape from such a fate?”

That’s true. There’s no use sparing them and sending them to the wall if their dragons still live, and you can’t imagine either of the three men letting their dragons go.

“And what are vows to oathbreakers?” Your mother echoes. “Their vows did not trouble them when they took my throne.”

“Giving pardons to rebels and traitors will only sow the seeds for fresh rebellions,” Daemon interjects to agree with your mother, making you dig your nails in your palms as more and more come to an agreement over something that you already knew was going to happen. Yet it never felt as real as it does now as they finally agree on the fate of your husband.

“The war will only end when the heads of the traitors are mounted on spikes above the King’s Gate, and not before,” Daemon adds. “Aegon will be found in time hiding under some rock, and I alone will finally depart to go after Aemond.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as his threatening words steal your breath and finally shove the rest of that sharp blade into your chest.

“Baela and I could go after Daeron,” you suggest and spin around to face the table of people, catching your mother snapping her head toward you and looking at you with horror she can barely hide—“Daeron’s dragon is small, Astraea and Moondancer can easily bring him down together. Or I could go with Addam and Seasmoke, Astraea and Seasmoke are well acquainted, they work well together.”

Both Baela and Addam don’t speak to argue, they look at you with determination, but your mother shakes her head right away without as much as thinking about it. “No…no. You are with child,” she finds the best and most effective excuse. “And you are my heir. I cannot put you at risk.”

You blink in disbelief and then slowly walk towards the table to argue. “It’s because I’m heir that I should be out fighting. When I was with the Green Army, men were more inspired when I spent my time with them. Now imagine when the army of men sees me fighting with them. The crown has to be seen fighting with the army, and if not you then I should do it.”

Your mother challenges your narrowed gaze but before she can counter, your grandfather does. “The Queen and you are both right,” he says but neither of you or your mother let go of each other's gazes—“You should be seen fighting along with our men, but you are with child, and already far out. It’s dangerous. Perhaps once the babes are born you can go out on dragonback again.”

“Then what am I supposed to do until them?” You ask with a scoff.

“Learn by my side,” your mother snaps back, making you hold her gaze for a tense second before you realize that you won’t win against her, so you roll your eyes away and return to your seat around the table, causing Ser Cane to push the chair in for you the moment you sit.

The truth is you knew the answer before your mother could say it but you were hoping that you were wrong. But nope.

“Ser Hugh and Ser Ulf can take the war to Daeron,” Daemon offers a solution. “They will fly to Tumbleton to help defend the town as it stands between the Hightower army and the city, and that’s where they will at last destroy the dragon and the boy.”

You glance at Ser Ulf, and right away as if he can sense your gaze, Ser Ulf spares you a glance and sits up rigidly before averting his gaze and agreeing to Daemon’s plan.

“It will be an easy feat for Silverwing and I sense you lot say the dragon is only a babe.” He still manages to be stupid, making you roll your eyes.

“My wife resides at Tumbleton with her brother,” Ser Hugh speaks with more grace. “Vermithor and I will fight with our lives.”

Your mother nods gently in appreciation and comprehension before her attention returns to her husband as he interjects. “The Lannister’s and the Baratheon’s should be destroyed as well, so their lands may be given to men who have proved to be more loyal, such as Ser Hugh and Ser Ulf,” he says ever so calmly as if he didn’t just utter the worst thing he could possibly ever suggest. And you don’t stand alone in your horror, your grandfather quickly shares his disagreement with the outlandish idea.

“Half the Lords of Westeros will turn against us if we are so cruel as to destroy two ancient and noble houses.”

Ser Ulf’s eyes that were quick to bulge out at the idea of being a Lord, then slowly droop back to normal as he hears the quick protest. And you don’t make him any happier since you too speak up against the terrible idea.

“My grandfather is right, we will lose this war if we just give the noble houses away to people who were nothing but strangers mere months ago,” you don’t shy away from being so bold even if the men share a look.

“We,” you pause and sigh, choosing to sit back with your back straight and your nose slowly rising in the air. “We can offer them pardons and fair terms. Nothing more and nothing less, they still rebelled against the crown. They should be grateful that we are not asking for their heads.”

Your grandfather looks at you and offers you an agreeing nod and a proud smile before he turns to your mother and Daemon. “The Princess is right. Her suggestion is wise.”

Your mother and Daemon share a speechless look before she focuses on her clasped hands and thinks for a moment, letting a silence blanket over the table in which you find Ser Ulf again and make him squirm once more.

Addam catches you torturing the man this time and finds your gaze to shake his head at you and share a twitching smile that he doesn’t let himself fully express. You albeit don’t feel shame, you beam at him in return before you look away and return your focus to your mother.

“Alright,” your mother breaks the silence and drags her eyes up. “I will follow the Princess’s suggestion, but only after we put an end to the usurper, the Kinslayer, and Daeron.”

Your amusement dies and you look at the table with conflict.

“Once they are dead, the rest will bend the knee,” your mother continues to spew. “Slay their dragons so I may mount their heads upon the walls of my throne room. Let the men look upon them in the years to come so they might know the cost of treason.”

You agree with her, you want to show your support, but Aemond comes to mind and you can't muster the will to want him dead. You only hurt at the thought.

“Very well, so we are agreed then,” Daemon interjects and nobody voices any protest, bringing a conclusion to the matter.

“Good, now we can go to our respective tasks,” your mother chimes in. “Daemon will go after Aemond. Ser Hugh and Ser Ulf will set off to Tumbleton. Rhaena will return to the Eyrie with Morning to at last go through our part of our pact so Lady Arryn may finally send her men. Baela will return to Dragonstone to defend it, and Addam will remain here to defend the city. Seasmoke, Astraea, and Syrax will suffice for the defense of the city.”

You nod lightly without looking back at her since your thoughts have all returned to Aemond, to the point you stay glued to your seat until it’s just Ser Cane, your mother, and you in that hall.

“What is it?” Your mother tries to probe, but when you meet her gaze you offer her a soft smile and a different response than the one she was looking for.

“May I go with the others to the Dragonpit so I may take Astraea out? I’d rather have her out so she’s able to just fly in and fight if the need arises.”

Your mother nods right away. “I don’t see why not. Ser Cane, why don’t you accompany her, the others will depart with their dragons, I don’t want the princess to return alone.”

“Of course, Your Grace,” Ser Cane assures your mother of something he had already planned to do.

“Thank you, Mother,” you offer her before you finally rise from your chair and leave with Ser Cane, Rhaena, Baela, Daemon, and the other two Dragonriders toward the Dragonpit. Albeit the carriage is taking a longer way to avoid the smallfolk's wrath considering taxes were raised and they don’t like that they did.

“So Rhaena,” you interject in the silence and drift your gaze to her across from you. “Are you ready to shove it in the face of the old hag that you have a fierce dragon now?”

Rhaena scoffs and shares an amused smile with Baela before she responds. “She’s not old.”

You shrug and flick your wrist. “She was a bitch, so it’s the same thing. Shove it in her face.”

Rhaena smiles at her hands and you lean toward her. “Are there any cute knights or wards there?” You continue to pester her to make the ride more tolerable. “Someone who’s caught your eye?”

Rhaena’s eyes widen and she passes her father an awkward look before she looks back at you and whispers your name, making you scoff in amusement. “What? I can ask, I’m a married woman with a child, there’s nothing wrong with it. Ah! I can introduce you to some Northnermen if you want.”

Rhaena sinks further in her seat and Baela nudges your arm so you can keep teasing her sister, letting Daemon see the remnants of what you all used to be before this war tore your old selves to shreds.

“There’s Addam too,” you say and giggle. “Mayhaps you can stay here and…keep watch with the good knight.” You nod and Baela grins. “For I am too far along in this pregnancy to do a thing.”

“Stop,” she whispers and turns her head away to look out the window.

“I know! I’ll slip something in your late-night teas and toss you in a boat!” You exclaim. “Nothing screams romance like a good adventure!”

“Oh, a good adventure?” Baela whispers in your ear. “Is that what you and Lord Stark did?”

You snap your head to her and push her gently. “Baela,” you hiss between laughter.

“Oh and Addam is good with kids, Aerion adores him,” you keep trying to warm Rhaena to Addam. “And he’s funny and sweet.”

“Then you marry him,” she mutters, making you and Baela laugh.

“Oh well if Aemond dies, then Baela and I have decided to travel to Yi-Ti and there we will find our husbands bathed in gold,” you share lightheartedly as you and Baela hold each other's gaze and try not to burst out laughing. “If not well I hear Dorne has some very handsome bachelors. Or well…we’re up for anything really.”

Rhaena rolls her eyes and you and Baela just share a teasing smile before you pat her leg and let your face fall soft yet serious. “It’s not wrong to let yourself find some pleasures, Rhaena. It’s a war not the end of the world, so don’t forsake your heart's desires.”

Finally, Rhaena looks over at you and loses that annoyance she carried on her face and offers you a soft look before she nods in comprehension, making you smile at her before you drop your gaze and caress your belly as both Aemond and Cregan come to mind.

Will you curse your twins because you let your heart love too freely?

You didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t help what you felt either. He was oh so kind, his love just consumed you, and Aemond…you loved him since you were a little girl. Not because in the back of your head, you knew that you would be married off since you were Targaryen, no, your love for him was born from your own desires. Your love for him consumed you too. And now you’re paying the price.

What a travesty...

Not loving them, just the complication of it all.

Nevertheless, the rest of the ride to the Dragonpit is silent since everyone’s mind is on their tasks, on the war, and the worry over the Smallfolk possibly seeing the carriage.

They don’t but it's not like you would have worried either way because as messy as it would've been, Daemon and Ser Cane are with you. They would’ve handled things a lot better than Aegon’s Kingsguard did when it came to protecting Helaena and Alicent that one time.

Yet, since you weren't spotted in the carriage or walking in the Dragonpit, you all had an easy transition from the carriage to the pit where you go to unchain Astraea yourself.

“<Hello, my girl,” you greet your dragon who already has her eyes set on you. “I’m here to free you at long last.>”

Astraea groans and you chuckle as you pat her side.

“<I know you’re upset, but now you can be with Seasmoke, and hunt over the water with your heart's desire,>” you tell her which she huffs to in response.

Once you set her free she shakes her neck like a dog shakes their body and then turns her head to press her snout against your belly.

“<Ah,” you breathe out and caress her. “Yes, they’re getting bigger. Heavier too.>”

Astraea keeps her snout pressed against your belly, causing the babes inside you to start moving which in turn makes you start smiling in awe.

“Oh,” you coo before you lean down and press a kiss on the top of your dragon's snout, making her open her eyes and pull her head back to look at you with her pupils wide and focused on you. “<Are you still mad at me?>” You ask before you shoot her a grin and then turn around. “<Go out, I’m going to get Shyrkos out for Aerion.>”

Astraea does as you say and you do as said, taking Shyrkos out of her crate and letting her perch herself on your shoulder before she wraps her long tail around your neck. The moment you’re out of the caves you see that Rhaena and Baela had stayed behind to wait for you, albeit Astraea and Moondancer have both put a good distance between them and the wild dragon Morning, choosing to ignore her existence and sticking close together instead.

“Be careful, the both of you,” you direct at the twins. “And Rhaena, please no more running off.”

“The same goes for you,” she redirects, making you smile at the ground but say nothing in return.

“If you find yourselves in trouble send a raven,” you let them know. “I will try to be there. Or you know, I will let someone know.”

Baela scoffs and closes the gap between you to pat your belly before she grabs your hands and gives them a comforting squeeze.

“By the time I see you again you might have already birthed twins,” she says with a tiny smile. “I hope they're boys. Jace bet that you were going to have all boys. All seven of your children.”

Your breath hitches and your eyes soften at the sweet mention. “Did he now?” You ask softly. “Well, I hope he’s wrong. Aemond and I want girls.”

Baela grows physically disgusted at the mention of your husband's name so you leave it at that and just work towards ending the conversation. “Well, I hope Jace’s ghost knows he will be wrong.”

A sad smile appears on her lips and you mirror it before you stroke her knuckles with your fingers. “Until we see each other again, cousin. Take care.”

Baela meets your gaze and nods softly. “Until we see each other again.”

You offer each other one last smile before you meet up with Rhaena, and unlike Baela, you grab Rhaena’s cheeks, and she cups yours before you embrace each other.

“Don't strain yourself okay?” She tells you sweetly.

You nod but you can’t truly mean it, you just nod to assure her. “Don't get too wild now that you have a dragon, hm?”

She scoffs softly and nods too. Does she mean it or is she just assuring you like you did with her? Who knows, but you can’t pick at it so you let it be and trust that she’ll do the right thing.

“Take care,” she says as she pulls away.

“You too,” you return the comment before you step back and watch the twins go to their dragons. When Baela has mounted Moondancer, and Rhaena has mounted Morning and starts holding on for dear life since the dragon keepers say that the wild dragon is too old and wild now to be saddled, you walk them all the way to the exit, choosing to remain hidden under the shadows of the Dragonpit so you’re not seen by onlookers as you watch your cousins descend to the skies and get lost in the clouds.

After they're gone you stay where you are and Astraea walks to the exit to wait for your okay to leave since you haven’t mounted her to descend to the skies together.

“<Go,>” you let her go free from the confinements of the dragonpit which she probably thinks is a dungeon, and once she is also lost in the clouds you crave some freedom as well before you return to the Red Keep.

“Why don’t we walk back to the Red Keep,” you tell Ser Cane as he walks up to you.

“It wouldn’t be wise,” he says right away, making you turn to face him and throw a hood over your head that covers your hair and keeps Shrykos hidden.

“And if I close my cloak,” you trail on as you button your cloak and hide your elegant and expensive gown. “My gown is hidden. See. I am like them now.”

Ser Cane tilts his head up and looks at you with a quizzical brow. “I could overpower you and force you on the carriage,” he shares but not as a threat, more as a warning. “It would save my heart from strain.”

You flash him a smile. “Strain? Ser, it’s a simple walk. Besides I need it, the twins need it. The Maester says it’s healthy to walk. I must walk actually.”

Ser Cane draws in a deep breath as he narrows his gaze to a pointed look and weighs whether to disobey your desire or give in.

“It’s a long walk,” he says as he puts his hands on his hips. “We walk halfway. The carriage will be waiting for us at that halfway point so we can ride the rest of the way back home. It’s that or I sweep you off your feet here and now.”

You hold his gaze for a moment, feeling your smile turn to a grin before you beam at him and nod. “Okay,” you give in without a fight, making him sigh deeply in annoyance before he walks away to let the carriage driver know about the plan, leaving you waiting under the exit, wishing for the sun to return and once again bask you with its warmth.

Alas, the clouds are greedy and steal the sun’s spotlight, forcing you to bask in a winter chill instead, but you don’t curse it and wish to disappear, you welcome its cold embrace and you can only do that so easily because you’ve been surrounded by a colder climate. Otherwise, you too would cower inside your home to stay close to your fire, and not even dream about walking amongst the people who need to be out and about in the coldness, and those who don’t mind the winter's chill, like you do when you leave the Dragonpit.

“…barbarity! Demons!”

Shouts catch your attention, taking your gaze to a cobbler square down the street from the Dragonpit.

“They crawled out of the pits of the Seven Hells!” A skinny man proclaims to no one. No one is gathered around him, but he still carries this passion in his eyes and in his voice that doesn't let him care that he speaks to an empty square. “They are unnatural creatures made by sorceries of Valyria!”

You finally come to a complete stop and become the old man’s only listener.

“They are a curse upon our earth! Both Dragons and Targaryens alike!” He keeps proclaiming and shaking his fist and stump.

“Princess let’s keep moving,” Ser Cane presses as he grabs your arm, but you stay put, forcing him to stay behind like a tall lurking shadow.

“Risen from the vile cesspit where brother lay with sister and mother with son…”

You scoff at the lie and mutter. “Sheep.”

“…where men rode demons into battle whilst their women spread their legs for the dogs!” He continues and this time one single person takes their time to stop not so far from him and listen to the trash that comes out of his stinking mouth.

“Sheep,” Ser Cane echoes. “But in a time of fear the Shepherdless sheep gather around the bravest of them,” he speaks wisely, making you step back to fall by his side instead and continue to watch the old dirty man, but also steal glimpses at your sworn protector.

“The Targaryens escaped the doom, fleeing across the seas to Dragonstone, but the gods are not mocked!” The man follows up with more cruel words. “Now the second doom is at hand!”

“Yes,” the single person agrees, making the corner of your lips curl to a displeased frown.

“The False King and Whore Queen shall be cast down with all their works,” the old man continues to shout. “And their demon beasts shall perish from this earth!”

You fist your hands and start to narrow your gaze to a piercing glare.

“The Whore Queen birthed a demon who disguises itself as an alluring siren, but it walks amongst fire! It’s a Fire Demon!”

“Infected sheep should be taken out before it infects the rest of the flock,” you speak to your sworn protector as you keep your eyes trained on the old man spewing nothing but false claims.

“He’s an innocent and ill man, Princess,” Ser Cane responds without hesitation so his own advice doesn't go unheard. “Take him down now and the tension between the crown and smallfolk increases. They are looking for any wrong step to use as an excuse to revolt.”

You hum and study the scene while you listen carefully. “All those who stand with them will die as well! Only by cleansing King’s Landing of dragons and their masters can Westeros hope to avoid the fate of Valyria!”

“Fear clings to anger,” you speak up and slowly take your eyes off the dirty old man. “If we let him speak he can attract attention, but a shepherdless flock leads themselves to the slaughter.”

“Aye,” Ser Cane agrees. “So it’s said.”

“We either let him snuff himself out, or let the infection spread until that takes them all out.” You finish saying and then meet Ser Cane’s gaze to seek his thoughts.

“Yes, in matters like these, there’s no penetrating them. Not us…”

“They’ll see it as an attack. They’ll believe he’s right, turning them all against us,” you continue for your sworn protector. “If attention is what he manages to get, that is.”

Ser Cane hums. “Exactly. Best leave it be. Now come on.”

You hum and steal one last glimpse at the old man, but don’t let your gaze linger so he doesn’t catch you staring and manages to recognize you.

Yet even as you continue walking away you continue to probe on the matter. “If the infection doesn’t kill then, if they don’t lead themselves to slaughter…then what?” You ask. “If we kill them that would hurt us. His word and belief would be spread and kept alive.”

Ser Cane sighs and parts his lips to give you an answer. Yet before he can he points his chin at you. “What do you think we would do at that point?”

You blink and look around to find your thoughts, finding one in particular that you pick on. “If one person turns too many then…we infiltrate them, tear them down from the inside so they think they sabotaged themselves. That would turn his words and belief to nothing because the people want to be angry, but they won't want to suffer the same fate so their same fear will disillusion them.” You say and quickly return your gaze to Ser Cane, noticing his lips tug to a smile.

“Wise. Spoken like a true heir,” he praises you, making you smile proudly.

——

*NOT SO MUCH LATER*

“Just down there,” you let Addam know as he follows you downhill where you would sneak off to train, where ocean waves hit the stone platform, and you’re far from the busybodies that occupy the castle and have a chance at disbursing your peace.

“Are you sure?” Addam queries hesitantly from behind you before he jogs down to fall by your side. “I mean I don’t want someone to get the wrong idea.”

A smile flashes on your lips and you show your amusement to Addam before you tap your belly. “The wrong idea with these two? I’m sorry but given my current state I’m not considered desirable, so no one will think a bad thing at all.”

He huffs. “I think that carrying children doesn’t make you any less beautiful,” he tries to assure you.

“Thank you, Addam, but…it’s complicated, besides, Ser Cane is with us. He'll stop you before you can even form a mischievous plan, isn’t that right Ser?”

“I’ll push you in the water and no one will be the wiser,” he deadpans, making Addam confused on whether he’s joking or not since Addam can’t read Ser Cane like you can.

“He’s joking,” you soothe Addam’s worry before you nudge his arm. “Should I worry about you? You're quiet.”

Addam meets your gaze and parts his lips, but he lets a breath of air escape first before he forms his words. “Why do you trust me so wholeheartedly and not the other two? I haven’t given you a reason to deserve your devotion and yet you are devoted to me. I…” he trails off and drops his head, bringing you to a slow stop and forcing him to one too that has quite the distance in between.

“I am no one yet you treat me like you’ve known me our whole lives. In a way no one else has. No one here I mean,” he continues to say, making your lips form to a pitiful frown—“You have every reason to look at me the same way you did at the Gullet. The Velaryon name doesn’t change who I really am, so why?”

You swallow back a thick lump that forms in your throat and study his face twisted with insecurity and confusion.

“I…tend to trust too blindly,” you admit in a lighthearted tone. “It’s a problem that’s been brought to my attention before, so maybe you’re right, maybe I should doubt trusting you. I shouldn't rely on my beliefs, but,” you pause and take a couple of steps closer to him before you come to a stop and continue softer and with a hint of sorrow in your voice. “The truth is that you out of everyone here has made me feel less alone.”

You catch him by surprise, making him lift his eyes off the floor to look at you with disbelief—“That day at the Gullet I was a bitch, I was insecure about what I thought you were going to take away from Aerion and I had no right. I was wrong and I'm sorry. You are a very great guy from what I’ve witnessed so far, and ever since that night at the dinner, you’ve kept me from sinking into a pit of darkness.”

His breath catches and his lips twitch to a smile. “And you…have saved me from feeling alone without my brother while I stay in this strange place,” he shares, making you slowly grin. “So thank you for trusting me.”

You nod softly and blink repeatedly as tears sting your eyes. “Thank you…for reminding me how it feels like to laugh. It’s been only a couple weeks but having nowhere to go has made it feel like we’ve known each other for years.”

He laughs and nods in agreement. “It really does.”

You share a breathless laugh before you close the gap between you to pat his chest with your fist, making him look at the gesture before he lifts his fist and mirrors your actions, but in a much more gentle manner. It’s like a light feathered touch that you still feel and leaves you lingering in his presence for a moment longer before you finally continue down your path side by side.

“You know I always had these big dreams,” Addam shares. “And now that I’m out here doing something it's nothing like how I expected it to be.”

You sigh deeply. “Yes,” you talk softly. “I understand what you mean. Do you regret any of it though?”

Addam shakes his head. “Not yet.”

You pat his back and praise him. “Good for you.”

He meets your gaze and offers you a tiny smile. “Thank you.”

You chuckle before you skip forward to get a bit ahead of him. “Tell me, Addam. Now I'm being serious, how many sailor shanties do you know?” You probe and peer at him over your shoulder.

“Many but unfortunately I was not blessed with the right set of pipes to sing any,” he says before he shoots you a pointed look. “I hear you have a gifted voice. The Siren of Driftmark is your name, no?”

You flash him a smirk over your shoulder before you nod proudly. “Yes. I love singing, that's why I asked if you know sailor shanties. I want to learn more, and with my father gone, I have to rely on you. It’s too bad you can’t sing though, we could’ve formed a band.” You frown dramatically before you spin around and face your sworn protector.

“Can you play an instrument or sing, Ser?” You direct your question at Ser Cane, causing the man to lay his eyes on you and remain quiet for a long moment hoping you’d drop it, but you wait with your eyes on him the entire time.

“I can play the lute…quite well,” he reveals, making you beam at him.

“Great! Thank you for sharing, I shall keep it in mind for my own personal advantage,” you tease him before you turn back around and face the platform you’re approaching. “Thank you by the way Addam, for agreeing to come train with me.”

Said man scoffs. “You didn’t really give me an option. Using your power over me kind of forced me to train with you.”

“I had to,” you remark. “No one else will because I am with child. And a woman.” You complain with annoyance before your tone quickly flips to excitement. “But I do plan to keep my promise and teach you how to do archery from your dragon. I must teach you on the ground first though, I can’t just throw you in the water and tell you to swim.”

He hums and then giggles at your choice of words before he picks up his pace to walk at your side and reach the platform at the same time.

Yet, the moment you step foot on the stone ground a racing pair of footsteps echo, stealing your attention to the incomer who turns out to be Ser Jason.

“I’m sorry to disturb you Princess, but, the Queen Dowager has requested an audience in the throne room,” Ser Jason shares between heavy pants.

Yet as out of breath as he is you don’t take his news seriously. “The Queen can handle it by herself. I’ll stay here for this audience.”

Ser Jason shakes his head. “No,” he breathes out. “Alicent requested an audience with you alone in the Throne Room.”

You’re hit with overwhelming curiosity, slight surprise, and annoyance only because of course Alicent is requesting an audience with you without the presence of the Queen in her own throne room. It makes you wonder what she’s up to.

“All right.” You nod lightly before you draw in a small breath to give Ser Jason a command. “Let the Queen know of the audience. I want her to go.”

Without hesitation Ser Jason nods before he turns around and runs off again, letting you turn to Addam with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, perhaps we can come back later, or tomorrow. Is that fine?”

Addam nods, of course, and reassures you so you don’t feel guilty. “Of course it’s fine.”

You offer him a thankful smile before you retake the path you just walked and return to the Red Keep. Once you’re inside and approaching the Throne Room, you don’t linger back to wait for your mother. You know she’ll join you eventually, she’d be curious as to what Alicent could possibly want; that’s why you let the guards open the doors for you and let Alicent see you and believe that you're there to fulfill her request without an ulterior motive.

She must think you’re like her and her children, but you’re not and the moment you strut down the room with your nose in the air, bathing yourself in every beam of light that casts through the windows on the walls, she sees that. She didn’t want to see it before out of her own hate and pride, but as her eyes follow you down the great hall she sees just how much your presence alone steals the breath of the great hall.

She looks at you now and it’s like the sun came out of hiding to shine just for you. Viserys would tell you that all the time, “the sun shines just for you,” he would say from the moment you were born and he laid eyes on you for the first time. Alicent’s stomach always twisted with jealousy so she refused to acknowledge anything great about you, but here you are now, walking past her without sparing her a glance, as if you don’t exist in the same realm and she sees it. She sees you and you are what every heir should strive themselves to be.

You are everything her children could never be. She sees that and realizes how much Aegon would have benefited from marrying you instead, but then again you would have eaten him alive. Aemond and you could have been such a glorious example of what a ruling couple should be, but you are right, he is the way he is because of her, she wronged him. She wronged them all, she sees that and so much more, but doesn’t acknowledge it. She can’t, so she pushes it to the back of her head and instead notes that you don’t even climb the steps to the throne. You keep yourself at the foot of the stairs that lead to the throne and take command from there.

“Goodmother,” you greet her with surprise. “What a surprise.”

Alicent curtsies, causing her golden chains to rattle. When she’s up right again she meets your gaze and you continue to fill the silence. “To what do I owe this surprise? I mean an audience in the throne room without her grace is quite the scandal.” You chuckle dryly.

It’s almost like she herself had an ulterior motive. It’s like she wanted you to feel superior and steal control above your mother.

“I’ve come to plead for your help,” she reveals, piquing your interest. “I heard of your mother's plan to slaughter my sons and I must ask you to save them.”

Your lips slightly part in surprise but before you can think of uttering a word she continues.

“You love Aemond. You are married to him and share a beautiful child. Y-you were on our side once, so I must ask you to change again, to save Aemond, to help Daeron who is innocent in this war. And Aegon…”

You raise an eyebrow to await what comes out of her mouth for him.

“He’s an invalid now. He can’t father any more children. He’s a cripple. He will be no threat I swear, just please—You who has the power and the skill, please help me. Save them. Save Aemond and you can be the ones on the throne instead,” she pleads desperately with actual tears creeping out of her big brown eyes. “Please.”

You narrow your gaze to watch her closely and just as you gather a breath to respond, the doors open and your mother, the Queen walks in, pausing in her stride to look at Alicent who now looks baffled by your mother’s presence.

“Your Grace,” you greet her with a mischievous smirk as you curtsy. When she reaches you you move aside to let her walk past you before you swiftly turn around and follow after her. Albeit you stop by the Iron Throne to stand beside it and let her be at the center of attention to take command now.

“The Dowager Queen has sought my audience to beg the mercy of her children,” you tell your mother to catch her up. “She wants me to spare them from their fate, but Daeron is no innocent boy. He’s slaughtered men with the armies because of the war you helped start. And Aegon,” you pause to scoff finding it crazy that you have to tell her why he’s not worth saving.

“Did you know he barged in my quarters when Aemond left for Rook’s Rest,” you begin to share, feeling your mother's eyes on you, and seeing Alicent’s hurt at what you’re preparing to share—“It was no friendly visit. He didn’t come looking for his brother, he went in there drunk looking for me. Do you know why?”

Alicent averts her gaze and with that look alone you know she has an idea. Yet you still share it.

“It seems you have some idea, but I’ll share it anyway. He went there to grope me, to assault me while Aemond was gone because he knew I wouldn't fight back. He would’ve gone further if it wasn’t for my sworn protector barging in,” you sneer and glare at her for demanding the mercy of such a disgusting man—“I can’t imagine what he’s done to other poor girls who weren’t as lucky, but I’m sure you can and still you want me to save him? And all behind the Queen's back?” You scoff and look at her with disgust as you go quiet and let your mother interject now.

“Is this your plan Alicent? Scheme behind my back hoping my daughter will betray me? Then again why am I surprised? You promised to surrender Aegon and the Red Keep, and your son was gone proving you a liar. So I’m not surprised that you stoop so low,” your mother seethes, and Alicent shakes her head before she tilts it up to meet your mother's gaze and finally give a response.

“Is trying to save my children stooping low when it’s something you yourself would have done in my position? Can you blame me for trying to save them from such a fate?” She cries. “Is that a sin?”

Your mother shakes her head. “No,” she says back. “But going behind my back hoping to plot something with my heir is.”

“And she proved ever so loyal,” Alicent mutters. “I praise you for that, but please hear me,” she begs as she falls to her knees, making you and your mother share a look before you return your attention to Alicent.

“We can divide the realm. You could have the Vale of Arryn, the North, the Crownlands, all the lands watered by the Trident, and the Isles,” Alicent shares, making you smile at the floor—“Aegon could have the Stormlands, the Westerlands, and the Reach, to be ruled from Oldtown. Please,” she pleads with tears crawling down her cheeks and eyes, and that desperation breaking her voice.

Alas, your mother doesn’t even debate what she asks. She gives her a response immediately. “No.” She feigns a laugh and scorns her. “Your sons might have had places in my court if they had kept faith, but they sought to rob me of my birthright, and the blood of my sons is on their hands.”

Alicent drops to her hands and mutters something you and your mother manage to catch. “Bastard blood, shed at war.”

You quickly look to your mother and she rises from the throne right away but stays where she is to snap back.

Yet before she can Alicent continues to throw out her angry filled words. “How many more must die to slake your thirst for vengeance?”

“You tell me,” your mother spats. “If you hadn’t raised your son to take my throne their lives wouldn’t be put at risk, your lover and your brother wouldn’t be dead, and you would not be in chains, but alas these are the consequences of your actions.” She huffs and walks to where you are to continue. “Speak again of bastardy, and I will have your tongue out.”

Your mother turns swiftly and storms out. You linger behind and face Alicent to speak about her. “Have her locked in her chambers with no more visits from her daughter or grandchildren. If she wants to plot behind the Queen's back again, have her tongue cut out, and then we can decide where she goes.”

“Princess,” the guards say in comprehension and then bow their heads before they grab Alicent’s arms, whilst the Dowager Queen herself snaps her head up and looks at you with her eyes widened in horror.

“Your Grace?!” Alicent asks for your mother's support and your mother stops in her tracks but only supports you.

“Do as the Princess says. It will serve as punishment for what she tried to scheme today.”

You flash Alicent a sweet smile laced with malice before you give her your back and follow after your mother, finding yourself catching up to her right away and following at her side instead.

“Forgive me, Mother,” you interject once you put some distance between you and the throne room. “For giving Alicent that punishment just now and putting you in a difficult position where you had to choose my choice.”

“No,” your Mother doesn’t hesitate to answer. “You don’t have to apologize. It had to be done. She tried to scheme behind my back. She’s lucky that her punishment wasn’t more severe.”

Yet she’s unlucky that she got a punishment. Alicent almost returned to her quarters without consequence and all for what? Your mother's soft spot for her?

Then again can you blame her when you have your own soft spot for Aemond?

“You were quick and smart with the choice,” she praises you sweetly. “Good job.”

You can’t help yourself, you let a proud smile tug on your lips as those words have a way to make you feel flustered.

“I want you to accompany me to my chambers before we go visit the children,” your mother interjects with a colder shift in her voice, but when you face her you don’t see disappointment or something that tells you that she feels concerned and therefore you should too. You instead see her lips formed into a frown and her eyes slowly filling with conflict.

“Alright,” you give in and do as she says, proceeding to follow her to her quarters and see her walk to her bed to sit on the edge before patting the empty seat next to her.

You flash her a look of confusion but you also don’t sense that you should stay put or be hesitant, so you take her offer and lock eyes to speechlessly question why you’re in the position you’re in now.

“Why,” she begins quietly and drops her gaze. You follow her line of gaze, catching her fiddling with her rings—“Why didn’t you tell me about what Aegon did?” She finally asks what was troubling her mind and what made her bring you here. And you expect to feel tears, but your chest just tightens as you recall that memory.

“The truth is,” you pause and take a minute to collect your thoughts before you scale your eyes up and look at her averted gaze. “I’ve been trying to forget because maybe I was over dramatic. I…told Alicent now to make her feel bad and give her a reason why Aegon out of all her sons can’t be saved.”

Your mother slowly brings her eyes up and catches your gaze with her eyes brimming with tears and her eyebrows knitted together as anger, pity, and agony also fill her heart and become present in her features.

“But it’s not over dramatic. Aegon…he still took advantage of his power to take advantage of you,” she says as her voice breaks and trembles out of guilt. “It’s not over dramatic and I’m sorry you had to be in that position because of me. Because you wanted to fight for our cause.”

You lean forward and grab her hands to try and offer her consolation. “Don't blame yourself, okay? It was not because of you and it was not because of anyone else. The only one to blame is Aegon, okay? Just him.” You whisper and stroke her knuckles, causing your mother to look down at the way you’re softly caressing her before her eyes find yours again, and she then suddenly embraces you.

“I’m still sorry it happened,” she whispers and cups the back of your head to press you firmly against her.

Your smile trembles as the corner of your lips pull up to a wobbly smile. Yet as much as you feel the need to, you don’t cry, you hold your tears back and put all your emotions into clutching onto her as if fearing her comfort and her warmth will disappear if you don’t hold onto her. “Thank you,” you share your gratitude before burying your face in the crook of her neck.

After a while of being wrapped in each other's embrace you pull back but just enough to lay your head on her shoulder and have her lay her head on top of yours.

“Did you tell anyone at least? I would hate that you kept it in for so long,” she says softly in the silence, and you nod gently.

“I told Aemond, he comforted me about it and only spared Aegon because he was already half dead.” You scoff with amusement and find yourself smiling softly like some love-struck fool as you remember Aemond’s comfort.

“Hm,” your mother hums and you can sense her judgment, but she doesn’t say a thing about it, choosing silence over saying something offensive. She just can’t fathom Aemond, introverted, black sheep, and kinslayer Aemond being anything but angry.

“Are you…worried about Daemon?” You change the subject as you let yourself touch on a specific matter in hopes of relating to someone about this pit in your stomach that you feel every time you think about Aemond when you’re apart.

“When he’s away I mean,” you clarify. “When he’s in a dangerous situation like now. Do you ever feel a pit in your stomach?”

Your mother sighs deeply and takes a moment of silence before she gives you a response. “Yes. I never had a reason to feel it before,” she shares. “But I do now. Why do you ask, my Sweet?”

You shake your head gently. “I just wanted to know if it was normal. I wanted to know if anyone else felt it too for someone they loved.”

Silence follows once again. It lasts longer than before but once again she breaks it and this time she’s much quieter as if she’s being careful. Not because she’s afraid of hurting you, she’s afraid of hearing your response because she knows what you’ll say and she knows the pain that comes with it.

“Do you love him?” She asks.

You draw in a deep breath and after releasing a deep and shuddering breath you give her the response that makes her stiffen. “I do,” you speak softly with each word filled with sincerity and such an obvious affection. “I love him with all that I am. All that I’ll ever be. And all that I ever was. I try,” you breathe out shakily. “I try not to, trust me,” your voice quivers. “I try, but…I can’t let him go. My heart refuses to let him go. Even if I have love for another my heart still calls out his name. The very memory of him makes my heart sing and dance even though I know he’s done things to hurt me.”

“Why?” Your mother asks hesitantly even though she knows that question is stupid. She just has to ask because she can’t imagine how someone could love someone who's killed people they love, who’s pure evil and twisted with darkness.

“I,” you pause and take a small breath. “Love him,” you sigh. “Because he’s entangled in my soul. Because he loves me, every part of me, like the darkness that would scare many others away. Because he understands what it’s like to yearn for something that’s in our reach but couldn’t be ours. Because without saying a word he knows everything I feel and everything I want to say. Because I enjoy being the one to make him smile and laugh, and because he loves me in such a deep and selfish way that I have always wanted to be loved…and I could give you thousands of other reasons without growing tired, but I know you would so…that’s why.”

Your mother swallows thickly and understands why you stayed with Aemond as long as you did when you had every chance to leave him during the war. She understands the pain that shows on your face every time someone mentions having to kill him.

“But I know he can’t be mine forever,” you mutter and she hears it now, the pain that she can’t see because you’re not facing each other—“I know what has to happen. I…know,” you say something that you didn’t even have in mind, you just said it on the spot because if you said what you truly wanted to say, then it would be a lie. And even if you have lied, even if that’s not something you struggle with, saying that you made your peace with Aemond having to die can’t even form into words in your mouth.

“It will hurt,” your mother says softly as a way to warn you of the pain that you have yet to experience. “Every time you look at your children it will hurt because you will see him in them. But before you know it, your heart will sing and dance and swoon for someone else and all he’ll be is a memory of your long life.”

You nod and want to say those two words you uttered before, but you can’t even form them in your mouth, so you just nod so very lightly that it barely would count as a nod.

“Like Lord Stark,” your mother brings him up again. “You love him too, yes?” She asks.

“Yes,” your voice quivers.

Your mother wants to probe like she did with Aemond, but it wouldn't be appropriate so she’s just left wondering.

“He’s a good man from what I hear and he’s your friend, and I want you to know that you can choose who you want to be with. I won’t force you into a loveless relationship just for some political advantage, okay?” She asks for comprehension—“You have the freedom of choice.”

“Okay,” your whisper comes out shaky and you cling onto her more firmly than before as you seek her comfort for the ache that already torments you.

If only you could hold onto her forever. The world would feel safer that way and any pain would immediately be cured, but alas what you want can’t happen, so you let her go and try to fill the rest of your day with other things that won't make that torment hurt you any deeper.

And it works.

For a time.

“<Ready?>” You ask Aerion and his blue eyes turn to his dragon, letting you place another piece of meat in front of her. “<Dracarys Shrykos>,” you command, and the hatchling steps back before she blows out fire and burns the piece of meat, making Aerion laugh and then attempt to talk or give the same command, but he can’t form the words so he coos and Shrykos crawls to him and nuzzles her head against his chest.

You smile with awe and as you do an urgent knock raps on the doors, piquing your interest and turning your head to face them. “Come,” you welcome the visitor and watch the doors of your chambers open and reveal Helaena in her night attire and with her hair flowing down her back.

“Why can I not see my mother?” She gets right to the point as she averts her eyes. “I could not have dinner with her, and now I can not bid her goodnight, why?”

You share a speechless look with Vanessa and when you get off the floor she takes your spot to watch over Aerion, while you approach Helaena.

“Your mother has to be locked in her quarters because she wanted to scheme with me behind the Queen’s back,” you share even though you know that will offer her no comfort. “She’s already a prisoner so to spare her from death we took away her freedom. I’m sorry Helaena,” you speak confidently but yet in a comforting tone so she doesn’t stress out more than she already is.

Yet she can’t seem to accept her mother's fate. “But I always bid her goodnight, and who will I have dinner with now?”

You sigh and feel pity for her but you don’t take back your decision. “It had to be done. I’m sorry.”

Helaena shakes her head and begins to pace, making your ache for her even worse.

“Helaena,” you try to speak to assure her but she puts her hand up to motion you to be quiet.

“It’s all what must be done,” she mutters something you can barely catch. “Everything. Why?”

She stops so you make your way to her and try to cup her shoulder to have her give you her attention, but she then turns around by herself and looks at you with her eyes wide and glistening with tears, but also laced with distress.

“What will you do?” She directs her question at you now. “Aemond will die in fifteen days. What will you do about it?”

You blink repeatedly in disbelief as you feel that pit in your stomach again, followed with that deep heart aching agony.

“What?” You ask breathlessly and she clutches onto her hands and slightly narrows her eyes.

“It has to be done,” she remarks with a hint of frustration. “And you can’t do anything about it.”

You shake your head as you don’t accept what she just revealed even though everything inside you knows she’s not lying. Because why would she?

“No,” your voice cracks as you look at her with desperation.

“He was never going to live through this. Everyone knows that” she continues to say, bringing frustration out of you now—“It’s his fate. And nothing you do will ever change it.”

Tears break out of your eyes as you clench your jaw and look at her with frustration and anger before your emotions flicker to desperation. “Please,” you beg and grab her arms. “There…” you trail off as you think about her words, as you think about that son that you will have in a future that you accept and acknowledge that it’s how the story will unfold, but that part of you that loves Aemond blindly and with every part of you pretends to be clueless as to what you know to only focus on what you want.

“There must be a way,” you try to get an alternative out of Helaena since she knows so much, but her expression remains pointed and frustrated.

“There isn’t. What will you do about it?” Her voice slightly hisses, making you pull back and look at her with a slow-forming glare.

You don’t continue with an answer. The room is left deafening, and since you won’t give her what she wants she leaves and you’re left standing in your agony and desperation that is so blinding and demanding that it overwhelms you with the thought of one single solution. A daring thought.

You must go to him. Convince him to let this fight go. You have to find him.

Thus you march out of your quarters and take the path to Helaena’s quarters knowing that’s where she’ll be headed, and luckily she didn’t make it far at all so you catch up to her rather quickly. And when you’re face to face it’s that same desperation that demands her knowledge of Aemond’s whereabouts.

Helaena gives them to you so you march back into your chambers and right as the doors close, Vanessa presses you since she knows you all too well. “What are you doing? You cannot go after him. He can’t be saved. He won’t want to.”

You face her with agony clinging in your eyes that makes them glisten with unshed tears before you utter one single thing. “I have to try.”

It’s stupid. Foolish and thoughtless, but you leave the Red Keep through the tunnels, find Astraea resting in the cove she usually is to be close to you if a need arose, and at last fulfill that longing to get lost in the clouds.

Once again you’re leaving without saying a word, out of desperation and high emotions. Your stance is still with your mother, that hasn’t changed and won’t change anymore. You still have the need to fight in this war, that need hasn’t left either, but you have to try and save the man you love. You have to for the sake of your love, for the sake of simply trying to save him from his doom because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you love someone.

Leaving was selfish you understand, chasing after him was selfish but the disappointment your mother, your cousins, and even Cregan will feel when they hear you went after Aemond doesn’t cross your mind when you find him, and when your eyes meet in the middle of that lush and lively forest.

In a way, it feels like he knew you were coming, that you were going to be outside of the hut he’s staying in, but after he surpasses his own self-conflict between reality and an illusion, he’s completely overwhelmed with disbelief by your presence. The kind of disbelief that has his lips parting just slightly, and makes his blue eye wide and glimmery as the spots of moonlight that burst through the treetops enlighten his long and beautiful face.

“It’s you and me,” your voice travels through the quiet night, hitting his ears and only breaking it to him more that you’re not some illusion cast by his solitude and yearning to see you. You’re real, you’re there before him holding his eyes with a teary gaze that only makes your eyes that much more beautiful.

“You and me,” you whisper again and step forward, falling in the soft and bright white light that the moon casts down on the earth, making Aemond gasp softly as he sees how truly divine you look in your silk light sea-green gown that’s accompanied with a pearl and crystal chain over your torso.

Truly your beauty transcends that of the moons, the suns, and all and every goddess that ever existed. He’s always known it, but as you stand before him under the soft light of the moon that fact is much more true because you’re there for him.

How could he be so stupid as to make you leave him? And how could you be so stupid as to return to him?

“Now and forever,” you finish and make tears run down his face as he nods in agreement.

Your lips pull to a shaky smile as you see his reaction and before you know it a force that’s not your own pulls you to each other, causing you to meet in the middle and kiss as if you’ve been apart for decades and only had each other's imaginations to feel the taste of each other’s lips. Nothing of what happened only a couple weeks ago comes to mind, it’s like it never happened at this very moment. It's like he was never angry that you left. It’s you and him and your dragons in the middle of some forest in the Riverlands until it’s just you and him in that hut unable to even think of letting each other go.

You are one flesh, one heart, and one soul for who knows how long. All you know is the taste of each other's mouths, the feeling of each other's flesh on the tip of your fingers as you run them over the perimeters of each other's bodies, and the sound of every pant, gasp, and moan that leaves your lips.

It’s all bliss, every second that your bodies and hearts are intertwined. Nothing else matters, nothing continues to matter, and the definition of love, true love was, and is clear as you take in the sight of each other while you remain in bed ignorant to the outside world.

“You know,” he speaks in that soft and gentle voice that you love and makes you feel relaxed. “I saw Alys and she told me something,” he says and places his hand on your belly, piquing your interest.

“What?” You ask in a whisper against his lips as if it were a secret that the space around you can’t know.

A smug smile tugs on his lips and he glances down at your belly covered by furs and shares what he knows against your lips. “The twins are girls.”

You look at him with disbelief for a second before you begin to grin without even bothering to question him. “Really?!” You exclaim and throw your hand on the side of his face to cradle it and press your own face closer to him.

He hums in agreement and you pull back to turn and smile at the ceiling. “So it’s Daenys and Daenerys?” You muse as you caress your own belly. “Yay.”

“What about Daenys and Naerys?” He suggests but you don’t even consider it, you just turn him down right away.

“No, Daenys and Daenerys has a much better ring to it don’t you think? Considering they’re twins?” You quire as you turn back to your side to look at him.

“I suppose,” he mutters.

“You suppose right.” You nod, making him chuckle breathlessly.

“Aerion?” He asks when his laugh dies down.

“Big,” you share happily. “Scooting on his behind to get to places. And wanting to burn down the Red Keep with Shyrkos. He keeps wanting to say Dracarys but he can’t. Luckily.”

Aemond flashes you a grin and goes quiet. He then lets his eye wander down, and it’s at that moment that you bring your hand up to cup his face with the gentlest touch, and take your time to caress his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb while you just study his face slowly falling as he grows flustered by your softness, that he knows he doesn’t deserve you after what he did to hurt you.

“Forgive me,” he mutters and moves his hand up your belly to stroke a scar that is no longer marking your skin. “I hurt you that day and I’m sorry. I…” he trails off as his voice cracks and takes in a deep breath before he slowly finds your attentive gaze. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know what I was doing. Harrenhal…was driving me mad. Every night I closed my eyes, I saw you die or I saw Lucerys. My greatest fear haunted me every time. My past followed. And it all chipped away at my sanity a little bit at a time until I couldn’t know between what was real and what wasn’t. And it’s no excuse, nothing could excuse what I did, but I needed to tell you,” he says with a deep breath that lets you see that weight rising off his shoulders.

“You understand right?” He asks for reassurance, and you exchange a breath in and out without changing that softness in your eyes and give him the reassurance he seeks.

“I understand,” you say sincerely and lean in to press a gentle kiss on his lips. “I understand you,” you repeat yourself against his lips, making him bring his hand up to clutch onto your cheek before he presses his forehead against yours.

“I missed you,” he whispers.

The corner of your lips twitch to a smile and butterflies flutter in your stomach before you echo his sweet words. “I missed you too.”

He hums and you hum back to tease him, holding his love-stricken gaze and taking a small breath in, leaving the room in silence. However, it’s in that comforting silence that the memory of why you came to him in the first place finds you, creeping into your mind and making your lips slowly lose hold of that smile, and making your eyes slowly droop and lose that happy glimmer that was caught within them.

Aemond notices your shift in emotions and looks at you with concern, but you can’t utter why you’re in agony so quickly with that breath you just drew out. You don’t want to ruin the moment that just had him smiling and enamored.

You want to live in the bliss for at least a second longer, so you close your eyes and stroke his cheek with your hand to be a part of that moment for just a little longer.

Just a few seconds longer…

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Next chapter someone finally croaks…

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan @weepingfashionwritingplaid @answer-the-sirens @silverlightsaber

[abbysdruidess]

•._.••¯´´•.¸¸.•headcanons about married life with abby [w nsfw]•._.••¯´´•.¸¸.•

wc: 1.1k

tags: tooth rotting fluff, smut, dom!Abby, dom/sub dynamics mentioned

a/n: lmk what you guys think abt this one:)

this is kinda in the same universe along with the abby proposes to you and wedding hcs, so if you haven't you could check them out-though this one could also be read as a standalone<3

ꜱꜰᴡ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

❦ you guys put a lot of work into your little dreamhouse™️ and are extremely proud of it. As an out and about lesbian, Abby took up a woodworking project and built a library that fits right into the wall of your living room. Which you were extremely supporting of, because it gave you the lovely opportunity to ogle your wife in a tank top and work pants, huffing, red faced and wiping sweat from her forehead in your backyard. You set an alarm and every couple of hours you bring her some cool water or lemonade with fruit and brush some locks of hair out of her dewy face<3

❦ she's also one of these people that don't believe in bringing in a handyman to fix any faulty appliance in your household. She has a huge, neon yellow tool box stashed away somewhere(you still aren't sure exactly where) that magically reappears everytime your car won't start or the air-conditioner starts making a noise. And 90% of the time Abby gets the job done, running on pure willpower and spite alone. When she doesn't and you guys have to bring someone else to do it, she just goes "Pfft, I could have totally done that. I just didn't cause I thought I might break it.". "Of course honey", you reassure her with a kiss on the cheek. You don't have her saved in your phone with an image of Bob the Builder for nothing.

❦ you guys are over at her dad's place a lot. When you were looking for a house, you made sure to get a place near his so you could visit whenever. He has a photo of you two from the wedding in his mantlepiece making the goofiest faces imaginable and every single time you visit Abby pesters him to take it down while you shit yourself laughing in the background.

❦ also, when your step-siblings Yara and Lev join, it's absolute chaos. You guys probably end up having an impromptu food fight and flick celery sticks at each other.

❦ if you have any hobbies such as knitting/playing instruments/writing etc she's fullly behind them and will always ask you to show her your progress. She's pretty proud of it as well, and smiles a little excitedly like :D

❦ please sing to her. It doesn't matter if you haven't sang a day in your life and it sounds like tires screeching on asphalt, it calms her when her baby sings to her. Will think you have the voice of a choir of angels no matter what and it is the only thing that can effectively put her to sleep. Bonus points if you play the guitar as well.

❦ Abby is really into reading(probably why she got that library built in the first place) and has one permanently etched in her night stand. She strikes me as one of these people that is a fan of the classics and doesn't read anyone that came after Hemingway. Until for her 26th birthday someone gifts her books from like Stephen King or Alison Bechdel and initially she's hesitant but eventually they grow into her and are stationed into her Hall of Fame shelf.

❦ whenever either of you is sick, you insist to pamper and care for one another. During the winter months Abs has a cold or the flu every month or so, and you have to actually fight her to take the day off and rest.

-Baby, you burning up. If you go to work you'll just get worse.

-I'm *cough* fine. I honestly feels 10 years younger. I don't get what the big deal is.

❦ you two definitely exercise together. Either you always go to the gym together-although you're not there as often as she is. Abby exercises religiously 5 times a week and that exercise will take place with or without you, but she would be damned if she didn't love when you tagged along with her. Either you guys have set up a little home gym with some basic equipment like mats, a treadmill, these bouncy balls and a weight lifting bench. Of course, you spot her, because you will take up any offer to ogle at her putting those big, powerful guns she calls arms to work. She reciprocates by insisting to hold your thighs while you do sit ups. And she inevitably ends up squeezing them like balls of dough.

ɴꜱꜰᴡ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

❦ when you first met Abby in your early 20s, you though it was natural for a woman her age to have such a heightened libido. After all, she did get around a lot for someone that looked like her. And that instict to fuck you senseless never abandons her-Abby is in a constant state of Wanting to Fuck, and is game whenever you are.

❦ Your sexcapades have included(but are not limited to): empty libraries, locker room showers, back alleys of clubs and just about any sturdy furniture in your house.

❦ she is a total beast when it comes to lovemaking, and can go anywhere from 2 hours to all night long, although most sessions end when you tap out bc you know you'll be sore tomorrow.

❦ even though everyone knows you're Mrs and Mrs from the ring on your finger, Abby wants to reassure that, by marking you as hers. Hickies, bites, anything is game. And she loves the slight sting of the scratch marks you leave her when she hops in the shower the morning after. She calls them claw marks affectionately.

❦ Loooves strapping you to positions she can utilise her muscle strength, like flatiron or missionary with her arms propped up. When you're scissoring, she wants to be the one with her legs on top, grinding her pussy into yours like it's nothing.

❦ I think Abby has this very hard dom image, and while she wants to take over during sex and feel like the one in control, she also needs to be taken care of. She works hard from day to night, and her past partners haven't been exactly accommodating to her needs. So whenever she's particularly exhausted, crawl under the covers to give her some head. Or in the shower. Or in the couch. Or under the dining table. She definitely cums fast when you suck her clit, it gets extremely sensitive and swollen while you're in between her legs.

❦ Is an occasional squirter, and also loves to make you squirt. It happened once as you were riding her face, and she just. slurped it all up. You lowkey passed out on the spot as your knees almost gave up.

❦ cuddling with her afterwards. There's still some resounding bliss in the air, as you both treasure the moment, your limbs all tangled up. You leave small kisses all over her sternum as she tightens her grip around you. If you're too exhausted, you fall asleep immediately, if not you just glance at each other through heavy lids with lovestruck eyes. You sleep like a baby and wake up feeling as refreshed as ever.

send me an ask if you guys would like me to elaborate any of these<3

[honeytabbies]

OKAY. HERE WE GO. my black bulls doggies!!!! :D

there's definitely a noticeable difference in style/quality of some of these just due to time between each design and/or how i was feeling at the time of drawing them (these hot and rainy summer months have been super rough on me)

ALSO they were all done symmetrically so that i wouldn't burn out and could actually finish them LOL . OK EVERYBODY BELOW

starting off with asta, a husky/coyote mutt!! :D in my au, devil users end up becoming hybrids of whatever their devil is. so since liebe is a coyote, that's what asta is too!! (also, i haven't drawn him yet, but yuno is a malamute :D similar looking breeds but different since they're not actually related!)

(here's liebe too hehe, scrappy lil coyote!!)

then of course, noelle, who's a saluki!! a very regal breed for a very royal gal!! i thought making her pigtails into her ears was a fun idea HEHEHE

(+ an alternate design version!)

here's finral, he's a shetland sheepdog!! gentle and sweet and always trying to herd his people together :) you might notice that with some of my designs, i end up doing extra scarring; that's usually just personal headcanons, as i think some injuries would be too grievous to fully heal. though some (for instance, gauche) don't have a canon story behind them, i just think they're fitting

vanessa, who's a cavalier king charles spaniel!! her ears sorta blend into her hair lol, i had an alternate version where they were the same darker brown as her fur but i decided that them blending in looked better and fit the breed standard as well.

gauche, the ever wary american akita!! being a fiercely loyal and protective breed, but aloof and suspicious of strangers.

then there's grey, who's a long-haired chihuahua!! sweet and skittish HEHE, also i haven't drawn it yet but i've always imagined her big transformation disguise that she's first introduced as to be a rottweiler LOL

next up is luck, a jack russell terrier!! i've always thought this was a very fitting breed pick, intelligent but highly energetic and a little mischievous !!!

and of course, magna is never far behind luck; he's a dobermann pinscher!! similar to luck in energy and intelligence, but even more fiercely protective of his loved ones.

GORDON!!! actually one of my favourite black clover characters, he's a dalmatian not only because of the fitting aesthetic, but also because of his kind and sensitive personality!

the masked supermage zora, a german shepherd! watchful and sometimes stubborn but loyal nonetheless made this pick fairly easy to come to. though, before getting to see more of him, my initial pick was actually a kai ken!

charmy's design is one that i'm the most proud of for sure; i mentioned in an earlier post that the different peoples are different species of animals. well charmy is a half toy poodle, half american badger!! i thought a badger was a VERY fitting pick, as they are generally unbothered by much unless their food is threatened LOL

and finally, lastly (for now) is nero!! she's a bull terrier, but i really wanted to keep her twin tails from her anti-bird form! her outfit is definitely the one i edited the most, i just wanted to give her something more practical out of personal preference.

additionally, henry is an old english sheepdog, nacht is a black norwegian elkhound/fox, and yami is a wolfdog!

I HAVE SOME OTHER CHARACTERS DOODLED HERE AND THERE but nothing else really finished yet. if there's a specific character anyone would like to see i would be SO happy to draw/doodle them to show off!! i honestly have a huge list of dog/cat breeds picked out for every character i could think of; i just am hellishly indecisive and can never pick who to start on next AHDSJAGDJSDK

THE POSITIVE RECEPTION TO MY ART SO FAR HAS MADE ME SO HAPPY BTW AUAGGHHH i have no idea how/if im able to reply to people directly but just know that i keep reading over everyone's reblog tags and stimming like crazy IM SO HAPPY THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH AUHGHFEHGGRH

[speakofthedebbie]

by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic

im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus

EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck

[n30nwrites]

When the Bard seduces the Prince

Summary: Having left your old kingdom, you didn't expect to find yourself back in a palace, especially meeting the cold Targaryen prince known as Aemond. After the struggle of finally admitting your feelings, it did not take long for the two of you to take matters into your own hands.

a/n: I thought of adding more, cause I had a story ending in mind but you guys are really only here for the sex so.

Word Count: 3.6k

Reader: Amab, He/Him (Referred as youngest son and you definitely have a penis) Top Reader, Bottom Aemond

Warnings: SMUT (18++ no minors interact), Praise, degrading, Oral (m receiving), Aemond is fucked dumb (dumbification), dry humping, size kink, dirty talk, riding for like a hot sec, unprotected sex (even if your gay its still probably best to wrap it), begging, hickeys, fingering, grinding, anal, blowjob (swallows), face-fucking, Aemond is possessive but so are you, Small bit of Angst, small bit of Fluff, mainly was writing for porn but added some plot because why not, mentions character death, and Aegon is just a shitty person but only mentioned never really described. Does cussing really need to be a trigger warning after all those tags?

Disclaimer: I don't own House of the Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor story line nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

comments, likes, and reblogs are appreciated.

How long had it been?

Since you had seen your palace walls? "Your palace" was wrong, your father had still been king when you left, and you would've gotten news had it been anything else. The cunt called your father was far too cruel to be a king, more of a tyrant that didn't care for others. He had six wives, each died either to childbirth or sickness. Because he had only ever wanted heirs, never gave them rest.

He got them. 8 sons, 6 daughters. You were the youngest of the sons (from what you are aware of), and out of the children of 14, the 10th child. In short terms, you were never going to see a throne, though that didn't stop you from having certain privileges. You were still the son of a king, so land and a title would still be given.

You had loved your mother before she died, she was his third wife. The fourth wife was just as kind, but quickly succumbed to the birthing bed. The fifth wife was cruel, and only gave daughters and was therefore deemed cursed. The sixth, and last one that you had met, seemed okay.

No longer were you deemed "The young prince" a title given by your father. You had much preferred the title that the people in the kingdom gave you, "The Princely Bard." because that was all you wanted to be.

A bard, you played a multitude of instruments, things you picked up from your visits in the streets, people were cruel, and even monstrous. But when they worked together, it was beautiful.

You left shortly after your favorite brother died, he was the 3rd eldest, healthy and lively. It was sudden, his body turned purple and blood poured from his eyes and mouth and you had found him like that. The medic said poison, and it quickly made you realize that this castle could no longer keep you safe.

Your siblings became cruel with each other, apathetic. The halls were bland and you had refused to be drained by the crown. You loved your siblings, but you would not die for them.

Especially not for a crown that only has power when people gave it power.

You traveled by boat, The North froze your ass off but Cregan welcomed you warmly despite not even knowing you were a prince. You gained popularity for your songs, your energy. No one really knew what the Young prince looked like, and with your hair cut and having grown more, you didn't seem that recognizable anymore. You sung for the king in Dorne, and got new robes that made you look even finer than you would.

Then you went to Westeros. Dawned in a yellow robe that showed off your body, with your lute strapped onto your back. Westeros was filled with the worst of the worst. Dorne had an acceptance of prostitutes, polyamory, and Bastards. Westeros treated them like they were scum, and yet Dorne was considered savage?

You found it stupid.

And you were vocal, very vocal about your thoughts. You sung about the politics in Westeros, how it was stupid to argue against a woman as a ruler because it's usual that the first born is the ruler, and that men just cause problems. Plus Aegon would be a horrid king, he couldn't even treat women right what makes them think he would be a good king? You had ran into him multiple times in the whorehouse, he had propositioned you multiple times as well.

Aegon was pretty, but he was a horrid man.

You didn't think you would ever meet the Targaryen family. They kept to themselves for the most part. The King was barely showing up to court, Aegon frequented the whorehouses and taverns, Heleana kept to herself in the garden with her fascination with bugs, and Aemond had been studying and training his entire life ever since his eye was cut out, all inside the castle walls. The Future queen, Rhaenyra Targaryen had moved to Dragonstone with her husband Daemon and her children.

Seperated, the house would continue to fall.

It was all fascinating to watch. But not to be a part of the game of thrones, so you had never expected an invitation to the palace.

The invitation was for the wedding of Aegon and Heleana, Siblings to be married because it was a Targaryen tradition. You had been invited to perform there, as your praises had been sung by many council members, the same ones who gave you the information about the family in the first place. It was truly an honor, and the food was something you had missed from your old life. So you had practiced, and perfected, and when the big day came?

You played your heart out.

Maybe that was what caught his attention. You playing your heart out, finding true happiness in the words you sung as you swayed to the rhythm in the songs.

"We'll do it all, everything, on our own."

He stared at you, his posture stiff and everything about him was neat, his outfit was perfect, his hair was perfect, everything about him was perfect. Aemond Targaryen was the perfect son, the prodigal son that deserved better. And Everything was going the way he planned, until he saw you.

Love at first sight doesn't exist, but lust does, and with lust can follow romance.

These feelings he had blossoming for you made his chest ache and his lips quiver.

He chose to dance for your song, any woman was glad to dance with him, and he just wanted to focus on you. He had picked a Martell, and she didn't speak much which caused him to easily pretend he was focusing on her.

"If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

Your voice was beautiful, and Aemond just craved to hear you talk to him, and him alone. Some possessive urge for you to belong to him. Aemond never felt like he belonged, never felt like he had something to call his own, even his dragon was supposed to belong to someone else, supposedly. He wanted you to be his.

"Those three words Are said too much They're not enough"

During the bedding ceremony, Aemond sought you out. Ignoring the looks from the women and men, he found you eating in the kitchen.

"Is it normal for you to leave the party so early?"

"You consider that early, my prince?" You smiled at him, and he almost fell to his knees. "I do not wish to watch the consumption of their marriage. I figured it would be best to get my pay and leave."

He couldn't let you leave, not when you've already affected him this much. "My mother is looking for someone to play the gathering held in a few months. She believes you would be perfect." All lies, all to get you to stay. "She has a room for you ready, you would need to confirm all music with her, along with preparing for the gathering."

"Is that so, my prince?" You gave him a coy smile. And Aemond fell hard.

He fell first, landing hard on his knees for you.

Yours was much softer. It took a few weeks to even see him that way. You spent so many moments with him. Walking in the garden or even chasing after Aegon together.

He showed you books, poetries and the histories of the kingdoms, mainly focusing on Westeros. You two spoke of the politics, of his hatred over a fourteen year old. Lucerys didn't deserve the hatred he got, but neither did Aemond. The library was considered a safe space for you.

And you got along with everyone. Alicent didn't seem to mind you, and she seemed to stare lovingly at the two of you whilst you trained with him. Aegon wasn't as rude as he had been to others, which Aemond considers that polite, and Heleana and you were almost as close as you and he were. Otto seemed to be the only one with a problem, and Aemond didn't care much for his feelings.

It was no surprise what followed next.

When Aemond finally accepted his feelings for you, he ignored you. Threw himself into his studying and training and ignored you. After the gathering, you had figured that was that. Tried to say goodbye and instead was greeted with Aemond being cruel to you, saying that there was no use to say goodbye as you were just here for a job. He wouldn't have even noticed you were gone.

It hurt, of course it hurt. You were just starting to fall in love with him. But you weren't going to grovel for him, nor would you cry over him. You just stared him in the eyes and turned away and left.

But not without taking something.

A dragon had hatched, small and black and golden, beautiful. And it flew straight to you as you got into the carriage to leave the castle. It was long and small, and wrapped around your neck, laying on your shoulder. You hid him quickly with your hood as he purred against you.

A dragon, one that seemed to bond to you. He brought you companionship, and while it would baffle some, you had known your family history. Afterall, it wasn't possible that it was just the Targaryen bloodline that escaped Old Valyria, your family had too come from a dragonlord that had isolated himself, before building up his own land.

This dragon was yours, and you were proud to have him.

You weren't going to spend anymore time in Westeros. Figured you wouldn't think of Aemond if you weren't in his kingdom.

But he found you, well you were wanted.

For the theft of a dragon.

The guards found you quickly, anyone was tempted to out you for the cash reward, any man insane enough to steal a fire-breathing dragon was obviously dangerous. You were thrown in a cell quickly, your dragon screaming for you as you screamed at them. "Get your filthy hands off of him! Amrak!" You called for him and he screeched.

You didn't get food for two days, and on the third, Aemond came with a cup of water and porridge. He stood there as you laid down, barely lifting your head.

"You stole a dragon."

"He came to me."

"You committed a crime against the crown."

"Amrak is mine, he chose me."

"You are not a Targaryen." He tsked.

"And yet he is mine." you spoke in high Valyrian. Aemond wasn't the only one that studied, as much as you hated your family and would not die for them you loved every part of them, the history, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

"you were planning to leave." He stated, and you nodded. "Why?"

"I have nothing for me here." It was time to see your old kingdom, time to make the full circle and come back.

"I am here."

"You rejected me." you stated, "you said you wouldn't miss me. You didn't want me the way I wanted you."

"I've wanted you from the moment I saw you." Aemond got closer, "I have wanted you and only you and it is wrong. You are a commoner, a dragonseed, it seems, yet you have captured my interests, my heart, you are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I sleep. You have entered my dreams and I cannot escape your eyes, nor your smile." Aemond's hands reached your cheeks and you got closer to him. "You are mine, you have been since I first saw you and you cannot leave me."

"You are mine Aemond Targaryen, and I am yours."

Aemond got you out of your cell, easily defending you to the court, to his mother, and to his grandfather. Alicent had never seen her favorite son act like this before, defending this thief with everything he had. Otto had disapproved of everything, almost sending you to be killed until you had interrupted.

"I could always claim to be the first born son of the king if you'd like." You smiled, having already known Alicent and Otto's plans for Westeros. "I claimed a dragon, very little would question it."

It was an agreement, you would stay in Aemond's wing, remaining hidden in the castle. You and Aemond only got closer.

It was strange, feeling this way about him. You and Aemond no longer hid behind flirtatious smiles, but instead were very open with how you two felt.

God, he was handsome.

The day was a warm day, you had decided to wear some of your Dornish clothing. A bright brown with red accents that was a gift from an ex-lover. You had decided to spend that day with Amrak, he had gotten a little bigger, but not enough to consider kicking him off your shoulders. You stayed in your room with him until it was time to eat, where you took him to feed on the sheep, whilst you ran into Aemond on your way back.

Since the start of your freedom to love each other, he had not been shy about his opinions on you. He stared at you, unabashed with his tongue darting out to wet his lips, you stood taller than him and smiled warmly.

"I haven't seen you at all today."

"I've been with Amrak, and you have been training."

"Yes, I was just on my way to undress." He informed, a tease in his eyes as if you wouldn't dare to join him, he pushed past you gently, and your pursuit for food was forgotten, because Aemond could fulfill any desire you had.

You had locked the door behind him as he slowly starting to take off his clothes, not looking at you but he had known you were behind him. Instead of helping, you decided to follow along, taking a few steps closer to him before taking off the top of your robe, undoing the knots that held it together to reveal your chest.

Patience was a virtue you did not have.

You reached for him, undoing the armor on him leaving him in his shirt and pants, you grabbed at his shoulder and turned him around to face you, pushing him close to you as your mouths collided in a passionate kiss, he reached for your naked chest, pushing his fingers deep into your skin. The two of you could not get enough of each other.

Aemond reached lower, grabbing your ass and massaging them as you two grinded your growing erections on to each other. His hands came to the front, untying them and yanking them down, he pushes you to sit on the bed as he lowers his own body to the ground. Your hand reaches for his head.

And he was beautiful on his knees.

You sat up on the bed, eyeing him as he eyes your cock, hard and long, precum at the top slowly oozing out and Aemond, second prince of the Targaryens, on his knees, hair pulled back only because your hand was wrapped in it, his mouth ‘o’ shaped as drool drizzles down. He stared at it, not even meeting your eyes but you watched as the saliva fell onto your dick, it twitching due to it.

“God your so cock hungry, it’s fucking pathetic” you look at his wide blown eye, shiny and only looking at one thing. “So desperate, my prince, and for a commoners cock…” Another lie you couldn't confess to him, but from the way his hips reached into the air, Aemond seemed to enjoy being talked down on.

Aemond’s mouth was watering, wanting to taste the male in front of him. The second son would’ve never thought that he would be in this position. He had never imagined his life this way, liking men, and especially this man.

God he was in love with you.

As quickly as he came to the thought, you had pulled his head towards your cock, aiming it at his mouth before pushing it into his wet mouth, the pathetic prince desperately got close, licking and sucking as if that was the one role he was good at.

"So fucking pathetic." Aemond moaned loudly, despite him being muffled from your long cock. His tongue licked up and down your shaft as saliva was coating it, you moaned with him. "Such a good cocksucker, my prince." you praised as he went deeper, his nose hitting your naval as he gagged, you did not go gently, your grip on his hair got tighter as you pushed him up and down.

your toes curled as he sucked, and your balls felt heavy as any moment you felt you could cum. "I'm gonna cum..." You expected him to stop, to take his mouth off of you and just jerk you off. But Aemond was hungry for you and instead he put you deeper, and when you came he closed his mouth around you, breathing through his nose and swallowing you.

"God I love you." Your dick fell limp, but only for a few moments would it remain that way. You pulled him up and kissed him, your tongue massaging his as you tasted yourself on him, both of you moaning into each other as your hips collided and he rolled. Your dick was becoming half hard just from your own thoughts, and you were quick to yank off his shirt, tearing it off of him and leaving hickeys as you sucked and licked and bit his neck. You pulled down his pants along with his underwear, and was greeted by his pale skin and long cock.

Your hands trailed behind his back before gripping his ass.

"I want you inside." Aemond groaned as he lifted his hips up, and your fingers quickly found his hole.

"Not without preparing." you quickly stuck your fingers into his mouth and he sucked, "Such a cockwhore, willing to hurt yourself for me. We can't have that, now can we." Aemond's eye flashed down to you as you stared at him. You knew what was behind his eye patch, the brilliant sapphire that was hidden by leather, your other hand quickly left his round ass and found it on the back of his head, as you quickly undid the eye patch and revealed everything to yourself. Aemond closed his eyes but you took your fingers out of his mouth and forced him to look at you.

"Keep your eyes open, I want to see everything when I fuck you." Your wet fingers slowly circled his entrance, before you pushed one in. His eye widened but he kept focusing on you, your finger slowly thrusting in and out as your other hand started touching his cock.

"Please, please, please..." He kept mumbling over and over again. "Want you inside, want you, want you, want your cock, want your thick cock inside me, want you to stretch me out and fuck me."

"So cock dumb, my pretty prince, more like my whore with the way you're taking my finger, so tight. How are you gonna take my cock when you can't even take my finger?"

"I can take it. I can take it. I can take it." He became so stupid, and in his moment of distraction you put another finger in him and he pushed himself on to you. And eventually a third finger joined, pushing them in as deep as you could. "Please I want your cock!" tears filled his eye and you quickly stopped your ministrations and he groaned. Your cock was hard and he pushed it towards his hole, desperate for you, you made sure his hole was right above you and he sat down on you, quickly filling him up as he let out a yell.

You turned his body around on the bed so that you were above him, pushing his hips down and slowly taking your cock out, leaving just your tip in as he whined and twisted. You pushed him down again keeping him straight, and shoved it back in and he moaned loudly. His legs flew into the air and wrapped around you, pushing you into him as much as he could, his ankles digging into your back. Your cock stretched him, and he was so thin despite his muscles, and you could almost swear you could see an outline of your cock in his stomach, and you went feral.

"Mine." You were quick with your thrusts, in and out as you pressed against his prostate constantly. One of your hands left his waist as you pushed against your own cock. "Look at how well you take me. Mine, Mine, Mine." your hand then left to touch his cock, and he threw his head back.

"Feels so good, so good, let me come, please let me come."

"You can come, but I'm not going to stop." His hips shifted into the air, and his cum shot up into the air, but you didn't stop, you were going to fill him up. His cum coated his chest and instead you took his hand and dipped his fingers into his own cum before shoving his hand into his mouth, making him taste himself before his hands wrapped back around you.

Thrust after thrust, you got closer and Aemonds hands wrapped around you as you lifted him up, his nails left scratches on your back. Your cock twitched multiple times before you came inside him, he let out moans loudly as you joined him, both of you panting as you leaned your forehead against his. His hole twitched as you gently took yourself out, he let out little breathy moans as you watched your cum slowly drip out of him, before you pushed it back inside of him.

"Well this is a development..." Aegon said, and Aemond and you turned in horror as your secret was no longer between you two.

"Aegon get out now!" You hissed through your teeth as you covered up Aemond with the blanket on his bed, the second prince felt fear and anger at what his elder brother would do.

Aegon giggled as he slammed the door shut.

"We're fucked."

[letsgoletsgetit08]

fix off pt. 1

summary: Mingi turns to every coping mechanism besides a healthy one in the aftermath of Jongho's death, two years later.

warnings: MDNI!!, 18+, su*c*de attempt, implied/referenced su*c*de, major character death, overdose, recreational drug use, religious imagery & symbolism, catholicism, barebacking, strangers to lovers, bittersweet ending, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing: priest!soft dom!Jeong Yunho x hot fucking mess!Song Mingi

author's note: HEY! Read the tags! This fic has some very heavy content! Please DO NOT READ this if mentions/discussion of suicide/attemps or character deat (RIP Jongho, so glad you're alive IRL, king) are in any way triggering to you! Also, know that myself and Ateez would be very sad if any Atiny or anyone else took their own life. Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! !! !!! That said, this work is based on/influenced by/referencing - sometimes lightly, sometimes very directly because Phoebe Waller-Bridge is more of a genius than me - the show Fleabag. This show is personally very important to me, it both healed me in some ways and also hurt me very deeply. If you have seen the show, you know how this ends. Again, read the tags. Phoebe, if you happen to read this for whatever reason, I just hope you're flattered because of imitation and all that.

OKAY! Disclaimers disclaimed, please let me know if I missed anything. And with that, please enjoy. This one is kind of my baby. I hesitated to even post it here because I'm a little scared of how it will be received but you never know until you try, right? Comments, likes, & re-blogs are always welcome, but please be civil.

word count: 23,480

ao3 link: fix off

fix off

It's hard not to spiral. 

Chest constricting, breath becoming shallow. 

Mingi tossed the bar rag onto the counter and dismissed himself to the bathroom. 

Cold water splashed on his face. 

Not cold enough. Need some ice. 

He thought he had seen Jongho. Which was impossible. 

His friend had died nearly two years ago now. 

He died two years ago.

Mingi composed himself enough to go back and sling espresso martinis to faceless patrons. Turning on his disarming charm enough to make decent tips. 

Coping.

Back home, laying in bed, Mingi got off while watching the news. Contemplated texting his ex. 

He was a little offended that she hadn't come back yet. 

She always came back.  

It was one of the only constants in his life, repeating the cycle of breaking up with Yuji when she became too overbearing, trying to be too serious. 

“It feels like you only want to be with me for the sex.” She had accused him of it a thousand times if she had done it once. 

“My friends really like you, too.” Mingi half-heartedly defended himself. She'll hate to hear that. 

“Do you like me, Mingi? Because I'm trying. I want to take care of you.” 

“I'm not a child.” Mingi pouted. 

“You're the only person who believes that.” Yuji turned to go, taking his lack of response to her question for what it was, “I'm not coming back, Mingi. Not again.” 

She'll be back. 

She wasn't. 

The next time he'd seen her, six months later, she had actually looked happy, something he honestly couldn't say during the times they had been together. Ring on her finger, hand around the bicep of a man Mingi vaguely recognized. 

Mingi saw her. Caught her eye. 

She's going to walk over. 

She walked over and introduced her fiancé, “This is jfodwjjfow.” 

He wouldn't remember the man’s name anyway, why bother to hear it when it was said the first time. 

“So good to meet you, Jeff.” Definitely not his name. “Wish I could stay but I really have to be going.”

He barely noticed the confused expression on her face as he dashed away.

Two Years Ago

"You know that guy who comes in on Tuesday nights and sits at the end of the bar?” Jongho asked, looking up at Mingi with a devious grin. 

"Tall guy who drinks red wine and looks like he wants to eat you?” Mingi teased him.

"Shut up, no way! He's probably looking at you. Everyone looks at you.” Jongho meant it as a compliment. 

"Well they should look at you because I will just chew them up and spit them out.” 

"Why else would God give you such big teeth?” Jongho skirted out of the way before Mingi could smack his ass with the bar towel. 

"Do I have big teeth?!” Mingi was hurt. 

"No!” Jongho stayed a few feet away, out of the line of fire, “No! I'm sorry, your teeth are fine!” 

"I'm hideous!” Mingi whined. 

“Hush, Mingi. You're perfect.” Jongho sighed, “Nevermind about that guy, anyway. I have my hands full with you already.”

“You love it.” Mingi shot him an innocent smile. 

“Of course I do.” Jongho poked his cheek, “Who else will?”

A Tuesday. Probably. 

“Mingi, promise me you won't be late tonight.” Seonghwa’s voice was stern, pleading over the phone. 

Mingi had taken the call while riding Soobin's dick. Or maybe it was Seungmin. He couldn't remember. He'd just been calling him “baby” since he came over. 

He was Hongjoong’s accountant. 

“I won't.” He would. “Promise.” He shouldn't. 

It was Seonghwa’s debut as Marius Pontmercy in an off-broadway production of Les Misérables. A big deal. He would finally be catching his big break.

“Okay, good because I really want everyone there.” Mingi faltered at the implication of the word. Like they were complete without Jongho. “It's very important to me. And I don't want to be embarrassed by you walking in late, I'm not even sure they will let you-”

“Yes, I know, Hwa.” He panted, Baby's hips bucking underneath him, “I'll be there.”

He’s noisy. Loves nipples.

“What are you doing? You sound out of breath?” Seonghwa’s voice was verging towards hysterical. 

“Just out for a run!” Baby let out a moan that Mingi knew carried through the phone. 

“Ew, Mingi! That is disgusting-”

“Fuck, yes, Soobin!” Mingi couldn't help but cry out, ending the call as the man nailed his prostate. 

Soobin filled the condom inside him, Mingi followed quickly behind, collapsing to his chest. 

“It's Seungmin, asshole.” The man pushed Mingi off of him and cleaned himself up, gathered his things to leave, shirt on inside out.

He’s probably going to realize he’s actually straight now.

Mingi got off to the memory of the scene again, later, in the shower. 

He was only twenty minutes late to Seonghwa's debut that night. Tears streaming down his face at the performance. His friend was beautiful. The musical was one of his favorites. 

I’m a total sap.

He wished Jongho were there to see it. 

Seonghwa let himself be hugged backstage after the show, a rare treat, even letting Mingi linger for a beat before pushing him off, accepting the flowers he held out to him. 

My bouquet looks pathetic next to the others. He’ll hate it.   

“Didn't want it to go to your head too much.” Mingi quipped, joking about his bouquet. 

“Thankfully, no one else had your same mindset.” Seonghwa was probably joking but his words stung. He studied Mingi’s face, not seeming to know how to help in the moment, instead, turning his attention to the rest of their friends, Hongjoong sidling up to his side as Mingi stepped away. “Let’s get everyone in for a picture.” 

Everyone. 

The word was repeated all night, at dinner afterwards, at the bar after that. Ringing in Mingi’s ears. 

Mingi coped in one of the only ways he knew how. 

Drink after drink, not knowing what was what, just that it had alcohol.

Everyone will be mad at me by the end of the night.

He had gotten too loud and apparently said something to upset Seonghwa. Not hard to do. Hongjoong scolded him, staying composed as he asked him to leave. 

Yeosang sweet Yeosang ended up under his arm, guiding him to the curb outside of the bar, waiting on the Uber. 

“What's wrong with me, Sangie?” Mingi slurred, ignoring how Yeosang’s body tensed when his head fell to the other's shoulder.

He's going to say nothing is wrong with me. They always do. 

“Nothing is wrong with you, Mingi.” His voice was sweet, deep, soothing. 

“Everyone hates me.” Mingi whined. 

“No one hates you, Ming.” Yeosang wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “You just feel your feelings out loud. And you have a lot of them. Wooyoung is similar, but he has a San to regulate him.” 

“I don't have anyone.” Mingi sobbed. 

“You do, Mingi. You just push us away. And I get it. No one can take Jongho's place. He was that for you, wasn't he?” Yeosang asked gently. 

Mingi didn't answer but sat up, looking at Yeosang. 

He is so pretty.  

Mingi leaned in for a kiss. 

Yeosang stopped him with a hand, “No, baby. You're drunk. You don't actually want to do this.”

What the hell did Yeosang know?  

He was right. Of course. 

“Sorry.” Mingi mumbled. 

The Uber pulled up and Yeosang helped him inside, instructing him to drink some water when he got home. 

He should have asked for Yeosang to help him. He would have done it. 

I should ask.

He should ask.

But he always pushed them away. 

Mingi hated riding in cars. He gripped the seat for dear life the entire drive. 

There was no one to make sure he didn't drown in a pool of his own vomit. The thought hit him somewhere on the ride home. 

He wouldn't drown in a pool of his own vomit.

He hadn't yet. 

I need a grilled cheese and a cigarette. 

Two Years Ago

The Tuesday man was leaning across the bar as far as it would allow, flirting with Jongho. Mingi felt pride swell in his chest. They were cute. He was sweet, making Jongho blush, calling him pretty.

Bastard.

He hated sharing Jonho. Yes, the seven of them were friends, but he and Jongho were close outside of that. If he were asked to trade the six others for Jongho, he would. Easy. No one got him like Jongho did. Mingi felt a little like he had raised the man, with him being a little over a year younger than himself. He knew it had to be hard being the youngest in a friend group. He wanted to make sure Jongho had someone. They were roommates in college. It stuck. Had worked at the same bar together ever since. 

In a lot of ways, though, Jongho had taken care of Mingi, too. Through heartbreaks and the general ups and downs of life. 

He loved him more than anything.

Naturally, he was a little possessive of his friend. But he also wanted him to be happy. 

He pushed down the acidic, curdling sensation in his chest. Let him be happy.  

Mingi would be there for him when he inevitably let him down.  

A Thursday? Maybe??

Wooyoung had talked him into hot yoga. 

“It will be good for you, I promise!” Wooyoung sing-songed as they walked into the studio. 

San probably loves the fact that he’s into yoga.

The studio was sweltering, they weren’t misadvertising, that’s for sure.

“I feel like I’m going to die.” Mingi complained. 

“Shut up and take your shoes off.” Wooyoung instructed. 

Not the first time he’s said that line.

“Buy me dinner first.” 

“You need therapy.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes. 

Tried that, didn’t work. 

His therapist said that he was projecting his grief for Jongho onto what really was daddy issues. Or something like that. He really hadn’t paid too close attention. He had fucked his therapist after a few sessions though. 

After sweating buckets and nearly pulling a muscle to keep from slipping and busting his face open, he thanked Wooyoung for inviting him and made him promise to never do it again. 

On the way out of the studio, a bus was unloading. 

Tuesday guy.  

Mingi locked eyes with him as he hopped off the bus. Time stood still.

The man nodded and Mingi darted in the other direction, Wooyoung chasing after him. 

He finally caught up, “Hey, what the fuck!”

“Sorry!” Mingi clawed his fingernails into his palms, “Forgot I liked the smoothie place on 7th better than the one on 9th.” 

A lie.

“Well damn, you could have just said something!” Wooyoung scolded him, mostly playfully but still seeming perturbed at Mingi’s odd behavior. 

Two Years Ago

Jongho was off that night. Tuesday guy sat in his same spot. 

Mingi tested him. 

Tuesday failed.

Took Mingi to his apartment after work.

Fucked Mingi senseless into his mattress. 

Fucking Tuesday. 

He never learned his real name. 

But he would never have called him by it anyway. 

Mingi’s dad had cheated on his mom. 

Any given day of the week, honestly, does it really matter?

The bar was dead that night and Mingi didn’t bother to fight to close with his new coworker. Let himself be cut early so that he could go home. 

He texted the group chat on his walk home. 

Me

Got cut early. Anyone wanna meet up?

He waited for replies. None came in. No one had even read the message.

Fine then. 

He walked aimlessly around the city, finally landing on a park bench, staring out over the lake. He didn’t know what to do with himself. 

The sun was setting and he watched it paint the sky pastel. 

He dialed Jongho’s number. 

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person. 

Again.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Interrupted.

“Anyone sitting here?” A feminine voice, light German accent. He looked up. 

She had stick-straight dyed red hair to her shoulders, microbangs, piercings, and was more tattoo than skin. 

“No, sorry. Just um.” He looked down at the phone in his hands, “On the phone.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” She raised a sharp eyebrow at him. He spotted a tongue ring when her mouth was open. 

“I don’t know. Sorry.” He blinked at her. Clocking that he had just done it again. 

She studied him, “Hm. You’re sweet, aren’t you?”

He shrugged.

“Pretty lips. I like you. If I take you to my place, you can’t murder me, okay?”

She looks more like she would be the one to murder me.

“Okay.” He agreed. 

Looks like I have plans tonight after all.

“Oh, you’re going to be fun.” She smiled, standing up and offering her hand to help him up. He followed her like a lost puppy to her apartment. 

The Germans are known for their open-mindedness in the bedroom. I should have remembered that.

He was tied to her bed from all four corners, wrists and ankles secured. Cock leaking pathetically onto his stomach. She walked around the bed, strutting in her elaborate black lace lingerie, pulled the blindfold down over his eyes. 

They had discussed it briefly on their way over. Limits, safe word (tiramisu), and the light system. 

Green light. Green light. Green light.

He felt the bed shift as she crawled between his legs, fingers dancing over his skin as she teased him everywhere except where he wanted it. 

“So desperate already for me, aren’t you, Mingki?” Her accent added an extra percussive affect to his name. 

“Yes, goddess.” He breathed. 

With no warning, she began licking his cock from base to tip, guiding it into her mouth without even touching it with her hands. The tip of it hitting the back of her throat immediately. 

I'm way too well hung for someone to be able to do that so easily.

She worked him expertly, slow at first, then picking up her pace until she estimated he was close to his peak, a faint pop as she pulled off of his dick. He squirmed, searching for any sort of touch, wanting to cum so badly. He heard her chuckle, “Oh, no, mein liebchen, it won't be that easy.” 

He whined and pouted, cut short as she positioned herself above him, rolling a condom on and applying lube before lining herself up and taking him in one go. 

I'm way too well hung for someone to be able to do THAT so easily.

She sat still, cockwarming him until he couldn't take it, sweat breaking out on his forehead, hips bucking, which earned him nothing besides sitting up so that only his tip was inside of her. He couldn't reach, no matter how hard he tried, to enter her any further. Eventually, she lowered herself ever so slightly, once he stilled his movements, proving he could be patient. She bounced up and down, tiny movements, only taking the first few inches of his length. Normally, he would be slamming his hips at breakneck speed by this point but he felt more turned on than ever before as he was brought to the edge again, only for her to pull off at the last second. 

She was straddling his face seconds later, “Me first, then we'll revisit you. If you can manage to get me off.” 

“Yes, godd-hmmmpph” she cut him off by placing her wet cunt on his face. The lube was strawberry flavored and he ate devotedly, like it was the last supper.

I'm not even religious!

He focused hard, listening for little moans and the involuntary twitch of her hips to guide him in knowing what she liked. It was so much harder to gauge with a blindfold on, but just as his jaw was aching so bad he thought he might have to give up, cock throbbing and leaking precum into the condom, she finally came, crying out at her release. 

“What a good pet.” She panted, moving back down to his cock again, taking him in one go and grinding her hips evilly, swiveling them but not letting him fuck into her still. “You can't cum until I come on your pretty cock, understood?”

“Yes, goddess, please let me make you come.” He begged, surprising himself.

She fell forward bracing her hands on his chest as she fucked herself on his dick. He almost lost it as he finally felt her clench around him, moaning at her second release, then surprising him by removing the blindfold. 

“Eyes on mine and beg me for it.” She demanded. 

“Please let me cum, goddess, please I'll do anything, please, please, goddess, I-” she stroked him with her pussy, as he begged until she was satisfied, tears streaming down his face.

“Okay, since you asked so nicely.” She stilled her hips, “Go ahead and use me, you filthy boy. So desperate.” 

He cried out as he tried to get a better range of motion to fuck her. She didn't help at all, but he was already on a razor wire, and soon he was cumming hard. She dismounted as soon as she felt his orgasm start, ruining it. He whimpered pathetically, not feeling satisfied, not enough cum leaving his body. 

She chuckled, “What's wrong, my little pet? You wanted to cum. I let you cum.”

He couldn’t answer, genuinely crying now. 

“Color, Mingi?” She asked, seeming concerned.

“Green!” He sobbed. 

“Good.” And she removed the condom, his dick still hard. She stroked up the underside with one steady finger until his hips were bucking pathetically again, then she gripped him genuinely, working him to a real release this time. The sound that escaped his chest was something he was sure had never left his body before, thick ribbons of cum hitting his stomach and chest, covering her hand. 

“Thank you! Fuck, thank you.” He cried as she worked him through it. 

She made sure he got proper aftercare when they were done. He stood in her doorway, staring at his shoes, voice barely above a whisper, “Can I… um. See you again?”

She smiled sympathetically, “No, so sorry, darling. I only ever do this once with someone.” She tapped his cheek, “Best of luck out there. I really did have a good time.” 

“Okay.” He sighed, “Thank you again.” And he turned to leave, feeling emptier than ever as he walked home. 

Two Years Ago

Jongho was a mess when he got to work that day, dark circles under his eyes. Mingi clocked it immediately, dragging him to the walk-in cooler to talk. 

“What's wrong?” He asked, trying not to panic, certain he was found out. 

Jongho never cried. It ripped Mingi’s heart in half. “He fucking-” Jongho choked on a sob, “I don’t know what I did wrong! I-” He buried his face into Mingi’s chest, “He told me he cheated on me and then-” A huge sniffle, struggling to catch his breath, “He said he couldn’t live with the guilt and he broke up with me! I don’t know what’s wrong with me-” Another wave of sobs racked his body.

“Shh, come on. You can’t work like this. Let’s get you home.” Mingi pulled him to his side, guilt spilling down his spine like ice water. 

Back at their apartment, Mingi spent all night taking care of Jongho, wrapping him in a blanket on the couch and letting him talk things through. Three bottles of wine between the two of them. He had no clue why Tuesday hadn’t told Jongho the full truth. He was too scared to do it himself. Instead, he let the gravity of his sin guide his actions, coddling his friend to try to make up for it. 

They ended the night curled up in Mingi’s bed together, Jongho still crying softly as he drifted off to sleep. 

The next morning, the bed beside Mingi was cold. 

He had thirty missed calls on his phone. None of them were from Jongho. 

He panicked, calling the last person who had called him back. 

“Mingi, thank god.” San’s voice was thick, clearly he had been crying.

“What happened?” Mingi’s voice was strained, anxiety eating him alive.

“Mingi… It’s Jongho.” San took a shuddering breath, “He’s- he’s gone.”

“What do you mean, ‘gone’? There’s no way. He was upset but I’m sure he just turned his phone off and he’ll be back here any time with a pack of cig-” Mingi refused to believe what he had just been told.

“No, Mingi.” San cut him off, “They found him. His car, it was-”

“No! You’re wrong!” Mingi was in denial, verging on hysterics, “They’re wrong, they need to check again! He’ll be back any minute!”

“Mingi…” San sobbed. He heard him mutter something about not being able to do this as the phone was passed to someone else. 

“Mingi. I need you to take some deep breaths and calm down.” Hongjoong’s voice was surprisingly gentle over the phone, but commanding enough to make Mingi stop sputtering nonsense that he knew, deep down, was all untrue. 

“I’m sorry.” Mingi felt tears begin to streak down his face, “I’m sorry. I’m listening.”

“Hwa is ordering you an Uber. We should all be together right now. You need to get dressed and be downstairs in ten minutes, okay?” Hongjoong’s voice only wavered slightly.

“Okay.” Mingi hung up the phone. 

Once he was at Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s apartment with the others, they filled him in on everything they knew, which truthfully, was very little.

Jongho indeed had alcohol in his system, according to the coroner, but having known him, he had a pretty high tolerance. It wasn’t certain he had been too drunk to drive. He had left no note, but the way the crash had happened, it almost looked intentional. 

There was no way of knowing now, of course. 

Mingi filled them in on why Jongho had been upset. Not the full story. He didn’t think he could ever admit that to anyone. Even with the added context, the friends all silently agreed that it had been an accident. The alternative was far too painful. 

The pit in Mingi’s stomach begged to differ. The doubt that lingered would never leave him. Not even for a moment. 

Seonghwa’s Bachelor Party

Mingi felt especially proud of himself, walking up to Seonghwa’s apartment - his fiance would be staying at a hotel that night - knowing what surprise he had planned for the night. 

He’s going to do backflips. 

The stripper he had hired was around Hongjoong’s height, pretty dark brown hair, wide, soulful eyes. Mingi had picked him out himself, wanting the surprise to be absolutely perfect. 

When he stepped inside the apartment, his stomach dropped.

I really shouldn’t have muted the group chat. 

He was under dressed in slacks and a sweater. Everyone else was in suits. More than just their close friend group was there, too. A memory niggled at the back of his mind, vaguely remembering reading a text saying Seonghwa’s more conservative cousins would be in town from Korea. They were staying for a few months before the wedding, through the holidays, since the wedding was on New Years Eve, treating the trip like a long vacation. 

Mingi tried to turn around to back out, wanting to call the booking agency immediately to cancel the stripper, but Wooyoung spotted him, looking relieved to have an excuse to leave the conversation he was having with a particularly dull looking family member, making his way to Mingi in just a few strides, pulling him into the living room. 

“Thank fuck!” Wooyoung whispered into his ear, “That guy was talking about the stock markets and I thought I was going to die.” 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Mingi couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

“He got got, too!” Wooyoung jutted his chin out, gesturing towards the kitchen, where San was sequestered by three cousins, eyes pleading as he met Wooyoung’s gaze. 

Mingi cackled as he saw San mouth “Help!” 

A punch on his arm from Wooyoung startled him, “Why are you underdressed?”

“I muted the group chat! You guys talk so much.”

“Well some of it is important, dumbass!” Wooyoung scolded him, “You better not be planning anything stupid tonight.”

“What!” Mingi tried to look surprised, “I would never! I’m just here for Seonghwa.”

“Yes?” Seonghwa had heard his name and was headed towards them, “Mingi, why are you underdressed?”

“I’m sorry! I can’t read, you know that.” Mingi whined, trying to sound innocent. 

“Just, please, please don’t do anything stupid tonight. It’s already tense with my family here, I had to bribe them to even come to the wedding by promising we would get married by a Catholic priest. Neither of us wanted that, but no offense, I didn’t want my wedding to just have you guys and all of Hongjoong’s family.”

“We’ll be good, Hwa. Promise.” Wooyoung offered.

“It’s not you I’m worried about. I need the princess to survive the night without making it all about himself.” Seonghwa snipped, then his face fell, looking a little remorseful, “Sorry, that was harsh, I-”

“No, no.” Mingi pretended it hadn’t hurt him to hear, “You’re right. I promise I’ll be good, tonight is all about you and making your weird, boring cousins happy.” 

As it turned out, keeping his weird, boring cousins happy was a tall order. They didn’t want to play drinking games - they barely wanted to drink, they didn’t understand Mingi’s sense of humor, and when they weren’t talking his ear off, they seemed to be treating him practically as wait staff, asking for more of the snacks from the kitchen, or another beer, or what his beliefs on the afterlife were. The latter of which he dodged, making a lame excuse of needing to pee. 

Mingi had snuck off to the bathroom attached to the primary bedroom, searching through Hongjoong’s side of the cabinets, hoping that the man still had a bit of a fun side. Exclaiming in excitement when he found a little bag of weed gummies buried carelessly under other over-the-counter meds and random, clearly forgotten about toiletries. 

He figured they were probably old, so he popped two in his mouth before even reading what the label said. 25mg/piece. 

Fuck. Well. Too late now. 

He spotted an old bottle of Xanax, giving it a shake to see it was almost completely full. He pocketed it as well.

You never know. 

When he emerged, he was rudely reminded of what he had been so worried about when he had arrived. 

Yeosang was answering the door, letting a man dressed in a black, sparkly, see-through shirt, red, glittery, heart-shaped pasties covering his nipples clearly visible underneath, and loose black pants, the outline of his bulge making itself known as well. Yeosang, innocent and clueless as ever, let the man inside before Mingi could get over there to stop him.

The weed began to hit Mingi and he couldn’t make his feet move as the man turned on the bluetooth speaker in his hand and a loud, harsh techno beat took over the room, every single voice going quiet to stare. 

“Who’s the beautiful blushing groom?” The man surveyed the room noisily. 

Seonghwa’s cousins were stunned silent, but Yeosang still hadn’t caught on, pointing to Seonghwa, “That’s him!” 

The Hongjoong look-alike stripper ripped his shirt off as he approached Seonghwa, and only then did Mingi’s brain catch up to his feet, jogging over to stop the man. 

“I’m so sorry!” Mingi tried to cut him off, “There’s been a mistake, I messed up-” He let out a giggle, his weed-fuzzed brain finding the situation hilarious despite himself. 

“Is this your idea of a joke, Mingi?” Seonghwa looked mad, hurt, and very disappointed. 

The stripper was not tuned in to the conversation and had started trying to dance for Seonghwa. 

“No! I’m sorry! It’s not a joke, I didn’t read the group text and I was going to cancel-” Mingi touched the stripper’s shoulder, trying to pull him off, “Hey, can you please stop that, you need to go, I’ll pay-”

“HEY!” The stripper yelled, “No touching! That’s literally the first rule you agreed to when you booked me!”

“Mingi, get the fuck out of here.” Seonghwa scolded him. 

“Hwa, I’m so sorry! I’m going, I promise-” Mingi pleaded, hands coming up to try to show his innocence, but hit the stripper’s ass on their way up. 

“What the FUCK did I just say?!” The stripper wheeled on him, punching him straight in the right eye socket. 

San was there in an instant, putting the stripper in a hold and froggy walking him out the door, Mingi following dejectedly behind, trying to keep the tears from spilling out as the cold air hit his face again. 

“San, please, I’m sorry, he has to know it was an honest mistake.”

“Honestly, Mingi. Not right now. Just.” He huffed a long breath out of his nose, “Just save it. Okay? It’s not me you need to apologize to.” 

He turned his back on Mingi, heading back inside the house. 

The stripper glared up at him from his spot on the curb, holding his hand out for payment. 

“Are you insane? No one carries cash.” Mingi spat at him.

“Then Venmo me, dickhead.” Not-Hongjoong instructed him. 

“No! Fuck off. You ruined my night.” Mingi turned around, trying to start walking home, but was stopped when the stripper jumped on him from behind, struggling to put him in a headlock due to their height difference. It was enough to get Mingi to turn around, though, which earned him a knee to his crotch and a sickening crack of his jaw, followed by his left eye. Mingi doubled over and took off running the best he could given his current state, lip bleeding onto his sweater, ignoring the shouts from the angry stripper behind him, hating how high he was as he staggered home in the cold, the world around him not feeling real. 

Back at his apartment, he drew himself a bath, placing the bottle of Xanax and his phone on the edge of the bathtub before climbing in. 

His head still felt wrong from the weed. Off-kilter. Anxious. Like melting cotton candy. 

He lined up the pills on the lip of the bathtub, counted them. 

He read the label that time. 

He took three. 

Dialed Jongho’s number from memory on his phone. 

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Again.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

His brain went pleasantly fuzzy.

Head falling to the back of the tub a little clumsily. 

He took three more. 

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

He took three more. 

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

Hey, it’s Jongho! Leave a message. Or just text me like a normal person.

The words started to lose all meaning as his vision blurred and he sank further into the water.

His fingers dialed the only other number he had memorized.

“Mingi?” Hongjoong’s voice was sleepy, clearly worried.

“Everyone hates me.” Mingi sighed, slipping down further into the tub, water feeling like molasses on his skin. Everything felt warm. Sticky. Cottony. 

“Why aren’t you out with Seonghwa for his party, what’s wrong?” Hongjoong asked him, voice urgent. 

“I think I fucked up, Joongie.”  Mingi’s voice was slow, distant, tinny, metallic and childish sounding in his own ears, tongue too thick for his mouth. 

“Mingi, baby, tell me what you did.” He heard Hongjoong get up from bed, “Where are you?”

“‘M home. I love you guys.” Mingi sighed, his vision going spotty.

“No, Mingi, stay with me!” Hongjoong pleaded. 

But Mingi’s phone fell into the bathtub with a subdued splash as his vision went dark. 

H e y ,  i t ’ s  J o n g h o !  L e a v e  a  m e s s a g e .  O r  j u s t  t e x t  m e  l i k e  a  n o r m a l    p   e   r    s    o    n   .

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

Mingi blinked his eyes open slowly, head splitting as his pupils adjusted to the bright lights. 

The unmistakable smell of disinfected hospital hit his nose. He was equal parts relieved that he was alive and annoyed that he was so incompetent he couldn’t even kill himself properly. 

His muscles screamed as he turned to the left, finding an open-mouthed, haggard looking Hongjoong asleep on the rigid hospital chair next to him. 

Tears streamed down his face silently as he felt himself drift back asleep.

“I swear, he didn't seem that bad when he left!” Wooyoung's voice was hushed, urgent as he defended himself. 

Mingi didn't open his eyes yet, not wanting to give himself away, now very intrigued in the conversation.

“I guess the stripper must have beat him up when I kicked him out. I should have driven him home.” San's voice quivered at the end of the sentence. 

“Yes, someone should have stayed with him.” Hongjoong sounded incredibly exhausted and a little mad. 

“It's easy to see now, but I mean was he acting that abnormal leading up? I don't understand what set him off.” Yeosang sounded genuinely worried.

“You guys realize the anniversary of Jongho’s funeral was the day before yesterday, right?” Hongjoong asked reproachfully. 

The silence was deafening. 

“I knew it was soon…” San trailed off, clearly ashamed. 

“I know we were all friends with him. And I'm not saying whatever friendships all of us had with Jongho weren't important or as meaningful or anything like that. I would never minimize that.” Hongjoong took a deep breath, “But it was different for Mingi. I think we all know that, deep down. And I don't think any of us have acknowledged it. We've been pretty hard on him.”

“Who exactly is ‘we’?” Wooyoung asked, his tone biting, “From my point of view, we've been pretty normal with him. The only person he's fought with is your fiancé.”

There was a pregnant pause before Hongjoong spoke again, “I- I know. Seonghwa knows, too. He doesn't mean to be hard on him… I promise he's trying. You guys have no clue how hard he's beating himself up over this. He hasn't eaten since he heard. I'm really worried.”

“He has to know Mingi won't blame him for anything-” Yeosang started. 

“He needs to grow the fuck up and get here and be supportive.” Wooyoung huffed, his tone erring on petulant.

“Baby…” San tried to calm him down. 

“Sorry.” Wooyoung mumbled.

“He'll come by when he's ready.” Hongjoong said simply. 

“Well try to give me warning because I really don't want to see him right now.” Wooyoung spat. 

Mingi tried to stir to bring attention to the fact that he was awake, not wanting the conversation they were having to turn into a fight. 

“Wooyoung-” Hongjoong said at the same time San tried to soothe him, “Jagi-”

“Guys.” Yeosang made eye contact with Mingi as he sat up in bed. 

“Mingi!” Wooyoung nearly tripped over his feet to get to his bedside, San and Yeosang following behind, Hongjoong giving him a little more space. 

“Youngie.” Mingi croaked, his throat incredibly parched, mouth tasting too much like mouth for his comfort.

“We're so sorry, honey.” San’s face contorted, holding back tears.

“We didn't know how bad it was.” Yeosang offered. 

Hongjoong poured him a cup of water, which he took gladly, taking a sip before speaking again, “I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking stupid.” He felt tears build in his eyes again, looking over to Hongjoong, “I'm sorry you had to find me like that.”

“Mingi, no. I'm just glad I found you.” Hongjoong laid a hand on his shoulder, never being one to be very comfortable with physical affection. 

“I'm so sorry.” It seemed to be the only phrase Mingi could remember how to say. 

Luckily for him, the nurse came in then to check on him, taking his vitals and informing him that he had been accepted to an inpatient behavioral health hospital and that transport was being set up as they spoke. 

“You're sending me to the psych ward?” His stomach dropped. 

“Yes sir, we're required by law to have you admitted after a suicide attempted. You're considered very high risk right now.” She spoke as if she had delivered the same line a thousand times already that day. 

“I just failed to commit suicide and I feel like dog shit!” The effort from raising his voice made him dizzy, “There’s no amount of money you could pay me to convince me to try that shit again right now.”

His friends didn't seem to know what to say

“You will just have to take that up with your psychiatrist at the hospital. I'm sorry. If you don't go willingly, the doctor will have to put you on a 72 hour hold.” 

Mingi closed his eyes, seething, “Fucking… fine.” 

“Okay, good. I'll let the doctor know.” She walked out of the room and no one moved until she was out of ear shot. 

Wooyoung cocked an eyebrow at him, “You're really gonna-”

“Hell no. You guys have to help me get out of here. I'll stay with one of you, I promise, I just can't… please. Don't make me.” Mingi all but begged, feeling small and vulnerable like a child. 

Everyone turned to Hongjoong, the de-facto leader, often thought of by his friends as the dad of the group.

He looked between the men before finding Mingi’s eyes, sighing when he saw how desperate his friend looked, “San, trade clothes with him and go distract the nurse.” He never stopped looking at Mingi while he spoke, “We're getting him the hell out of here.”

Five minutes later, Hongjoong, Yeosang, and Wooyoung surrounded Mingi from four sides, trying to obscure him from the view of anyone who might try to stop them, though it was essentially futile, considering how Mingi towered over them, giggling to themselves as they heard the nurses gasp and squeal. San had evidently just taken off his paper scrubs shirt as a distraction. They made it into the elevator and all the way downstairs undetected, within only a few hundred feet of the front door when they heard San’s out of breath voice from the stairwell yelling, “Run!” 

They obeyed, taking off towards the parking lot, hopping into San's 4-Runner as he unlocked it to signal its location, though he himself was still a hundred or so yards behind, bare feet slapping on the pavement (Mingi had squeezed his feet into San's shoes) as the guards slowed their pace behind him, clearly accepting their defeat, out-paced easily by the athletic man. 

Mingi felt like death as he wheezed, exhausted from the effort in the middle back seat of San's car, wedged securely between Hongjoong and Yeosang, San hopping into the driver's seat. He felt like death, yes, but he also felt more alive than he had in a long time, being the first one to crack and start laughing in the car after a moment of unsure silence. Wooyoung followed second, his high pitched wild laughter making everyone else submit to a giggle fit as well. San rolled down the windows and stuck his head out as he drove out of the parking lot, hair blowing in the chill winter air, yelling, “Nice try, bitches!” as they made their escape. 

Two and a Half Years Ago

Mingi and Jongho had managed to sneak away from Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s engagement party, finding themselves in Hongjoong’s den, laying on the floor, rather cross-faded, skin still damp after coming inside from the balmy spring air that had enveloped them on the back porch. 

"I can’t believe they’re finally going to get married.” Mingi sighed staring up at the ceiling.

"San and Wooyoung must be thrilled. I bet San is scheming already.” Jongho chuckled. 

Mingi scoffed, “I think San has had a ring in his closet for a year at this point.”

"You’re probably right.” 

Mingi turned his head to look at his friend, studying his profile, the shape of which he had memorized years ago, “First those two, then Wooyoung and San. You think everyone will expect us to get married next?”

Jongho met his gaze, “Mingi, no offense, but I will only marry you at fifty if we’re both still single.”

"Promise?” Mingi was mostly joking. 

Jongho rolled his eyes, “Someday, someone will take care of us like we do each other.” He turned his head back away, “But just in case… yes. Promise.”

"Hell yeah.” Mingi pumped his arm in victory. 

"You left Yeosang out of all of that, by the way. What’s he going to do?” 

"I assumed he would move in with Youngie and San at some point.” Mingi deadpanned.

Jongho chuckled, “I’m honestly surprised they haven’t all moved in together yet.”

Footsteps had them craning their head to the back of the room.

Seonghwa’s arms were folded, “Did you guys plan on being antisocial all night?”

Mingi and Jongho shrugged, sitting up, Jongho helping Mingi to his feet. 

Seonghwa sighed dramatically, “Please come back and join us. Act normal for once.”

“Yes, mom!” Jongho mocked.  

They had to swallow their giggles as Seonghwa marched them back to the kitchen and living room, where everyone else was gathered.

The Present, October 15th

Mingi woke up, slightly disoriented, in Wooyoung and San’s guest bedroom, far too early in the morning. His face was throbbing, bruises and swelling finally going down, but still aching and tender nonetheless. He looked on the bedside table for painkillers before remembering that he hadn’t been left with any from the hospital, considering how he had chosen to depart. That, and he assumed, a cold pit in his stomach, Wooyoung wouldn’t allow him access to any meds without supervision. Really, Mingi felt zero desire to ever try to hurt himself again, but he understood that his friends were just doing their due diligence to protect him. 

Embarrassment and shame coursed over him.  

I'm a fucking mess.

He looked for his phone, finally finding it plugged in on the desk on the opposite side of the room. 

He scrolled through and replied to messages from Hongjoong and Yeosang, telling him he was feeling fine and thanking them again for their help. 

He knew it was too early for Wooyoung to get up, so he scrolled absentmindedly through his phone for a while before the pain from the wounds on his face, his split lip and bruised jaw and eye sockets, were too much to continue ignoring. He looked around in the room for any of his belongings, not finding anything except what he had worn of San’s home from the hospital. 

The dresser in the corner of the room stared at him and he walked over to take a peak. Some of Wooyoung and San’s off-season clothes were in there, shorts and swim trunks mostly. But in one drawer alone, was one of Jongho’s old hoodies. Faded dark green and perfectly worn. Mingi remembered it because he had borrowed it on more than one occasion after work, on their walk home, always having been one to forget a jacket. Jongho acted like he was put out to lend it to him, but Mingi knew as well as he had, he didn’t mind a bit. Now that he thought about it, it was totally possible that Jongho had always worn it just for his sake. The man ran very hot, constantly complaining about it, even in winter. 

Mingi brought the sweater up to his face, hoping it would still smell faintly of him, but knowing deep down it wouldn’t. He slipped it on, zipping it up, putting the hood on, and heading into the kitchen to try to find some coffee. After a few minutes of searching (much to his guilt, realizing that they had locked up their knives), Mingi found the necessary supplies to make coffee, rustling through the pantry for something to eat as it brewed. 

“You’re up early.” Wooyoung’s raspy morning voice startled him.

“Ah!” Mingi whipped around, “Sorry, yeah. My face fucking hurts.”

“I’ll get you something.” Wooyoung gave a small smile, “Sorry, you understand why I couldn’t just leave you some-”

“Nah, I know.” Mingi waved him off, “I would do the same thing. Don’t worry.”

Wooyoung nodded, “Okay, good. I’m glad. I’ll go grab it.”

Mingi poured two cups of coffee as Wooyoung returned, handing him a steaming mug in exchange for two ibuprofen tablets. 

“Thanks, man.” Mingi tossed them back, swallowing them dry, knowing the coffee was still too hot to sip on, “And thanks for letting me stay. I don’t want to put you guys out-”

Wooyoung placed his mug down on the kitchen island, his typically sharp, vulpine features turning soft, crossing over to hug Mingi out of the blue, “No way, Mingi. I’m just so glad you’re okay.” He pulled back, “I’m so mad at you, too. But it’s far outweighed by how glad I am that you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too.” Mingi confessed.

“Good.” Wooyoung blinked back tears, swallowing, “I couldn’t do another funeral, Mingi.”

“I know.” Mingi’s face flushed red, embarrassed at the idea of causing his friends so much grief, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“No more apologizing.” Wooyoung commanded, “You should keep it, by the way.” He nodded at the hoodie Mingi had donned.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to take-”

“Mingi, I’m sure. He would have wanted you to have it. It just makes me fucking sad every time I see it. I want to remember him in different ways other than just being sad he’s gone. Please take it.” Wooyoung’s eyes were soft as they peered into Mingi’s soul. 

Mingi held his gaze for a moment, before finally nodding, “Okay. Yeah. Thank you, Wooyoung.”

“Of course, Ming.” Wooyoung sipped his coffee before turning around to retrieve a skillet from the cabinet under the island, “Let me make you some pancakes.” He stood up and cut Mingi off before he could protest, “No. I’m rephrasing that. I’m making us pancakes. And you’re going to eat them with me.”

“That sounds great, Youngie. Thank you.” 

Mingi watched as the younger began to gather ingredients, pouring them into a mixing bowl and starting to combine them. Something kept clawing at the back of his mind though. He didn’t know how to breach the subject so he just asked, “Have you um… heard from Hwa?”

Wooyoung stirred a little aggressively and Mingi nearly laughed at how his jaw clenched at the mention of their friend’s name, “No. Although to be fair, I think Hongjoong made it clear he shouldn’t talk to me right now. I’ll ask San when he wakes up, but I highly doubt it.”

“Ah.” Mingi couldn’t think of anything else to say. He understood why it might be hard for Seonghwa to see him at that very moment, but he wished he knew exactly why his friend didn’t want to see or speak to him. Was it because he was mad at Mingi? For the party, or for trying to kill himself? Or was he mad at himself? Or was it all just too much for him to face? Maybe a combination?

Wooyoung poured the pancake batter into the skillet, “I can hear you overthinking. This is partially why I’m so mad at him. He’s leaving you wondering why he won’t reach out.” He waited for the edges of the pancakes to bubble before flipping them, “You know, for someone who gave you so much grief for making things about yourself, he sure does have a nasty habit of doing it himself, doesn’t he?”

Mingi snorted, laughing at how true the statement was, “I’ve always said he and I were too similar in all the wrong ways.” 

Wooyoung couldn’t help but break a grin as he plated the first batch of pancakes, handing it to Mingi, “You might actually be right about that.”

Wooyoung joined him at the table a few minutes later, and it didn’t take long for them to defrost a bit as the man realized he didn’t have to handle Mingi with kid gloves. San joined them a bit later, and there for around an hour, everything felt almost normal. Like they were in college again, scarfing down breakfast at someone’s apartment after a night at the bars. It was so nice that Mingi found himself just staring, watching Wooyoung and San interact together. The two of them had become symbiotic practically immediately, nearly a decade ago at that point. He realized possibly for the first time ever, seeing how so painfully domestic and intimate the two of them were, that he wanted that with someone. 

He hadn’t noticed the tear slip down his cheek until San looked at him, concern falling over his delicate feline features, “What’s wrong, Song?”

Mingi laughed at the intentionally bad rhyme, “Nothing. You guys are just cute. I’ve missed you a lot. I’ve missed this.” 

Wooyoung kissed San on the cheek, “Hear that? He thinks we’re cute.”

Mingi crinkled his nose in fake disgust, “Okay less so now.”

San chuckled, “We missed you, too, Mingi.”

“We’ll make more of an effort. All of us. Promise. We all need each other and it’s time we stopped isolating.” Wooyoung looked at him a little pointedly.

“I agree.” He nodded, knowing that Wooyoung was also holding him culpable for that last part.

“Good.” Wooyoung smiled, before standing up to start clearing the table. Mingi and San helped, San explaining that he had taken the day off of work to hang out with Mingi. 

“Oh, um, I mean. You don’t have t-” Mingi started, feeling once again like a child.

“Yes. We do.” San said, a little stern, but there was no resentment in his voice. 

Mingi nodded, “Okay. Thank you. I’ll be glad to have your company.” 

San didn’t press or try to make him talk all day, which Mingi was grateful for. They watched movies and played video games for most of the day before Mingi felt like he needed a nap. They ate together like a family once again that night.

The next couple of weeks went on like that until they started to trust him again, leaving him alone during the day while they both returned to work. Mingi wondered absentmindedly if he still had a job. His boss hadn’t even called, but maybe his friends took care of it. He wondered if he even cared. Really, he didn’t know why he had even stayed after Jongho’s accident. He could bartend anywhere. If he really wanted to continue doing so was the real question. After graduating with an anthropology degree and no desire at the time to continue his education, he had just continued to do what had gotten him through college. No reason not to, he was handsome and very good at his job. Made great money. But weirdly enough, nearly dying had him taking the first look at his future that he had bothered to take in years. 

Maybe I should go back to school.

He had always liked the idea of teaching at a university level. 

Seven Years Ago

"Fuck, yes, baby. Just like that!” Mingi looked up in awe as the girl he’d had eyes on all semester from his Literature class was riding his dick, letting out pretty moans. He didn’t even care if they were fake, she felt incredible. 

Click-BANG!

The dorm door flew open, a completely distraught, clearly sleep deprived and hungover (possibly still drunk) Jongho barged in, only blinking as the girl covered herself and yelped, diving beneath Mingi’s navy comforter, laying herself flat to his chest. 

“Mingi, I fucked up. I thought my history test was next week, you’ve gotta help me.” Jongho begged him. 

“Right now?!” Mingi whined, hips still rocking under the girl whose pussy he was deliciously buried deep inside of. 

“Please?” Jongho begged him, “I’ll pay for your laundry for a month, hell, I’ll do your laundry for a month, man, but please help! You’re the only one who knows anything about history.”

Mingi’s pace picked up at the compliment, hearing the girl moan as he plunged deeper, “Okay, fine, I’ll meet you at the library in twenty, and you better get coffee for both of us.”

“Thank you so much, I owe you!” Jongho packed his backpack, moving at a tortoise’s pace in Mingi’s eyes, who was barely restraining himself from moving like a hare. 

“Jongho, get the fuck out of here!” He half-yelled, half-panted, grabbing the girl’s hips and beginning to slam her onto his cock, moaning as she moved her hips to match his movement. 

Jongho sped up, haphazardly tossing his history textbook into his backpack and darting out of the room, saluting Mingi as he turned his back and closed the door. 

"God, yes, Mingi!” The girl cried out while he rubbed her clit with his thumb, head falling back as she clenched around him. He followed moments later, spilling into the condom with a broken sigh. 

In his post-nut clarity, Mingi made a surprisingly good history tutor.

Jongho had gotten a nearly perfect score on his test.   

October 29th

Mingi was being given a chance to prove himself. He loved Wooyoung and San but he missed his apartment. He missed being alone, oddly enough feeling more alone around the couple than he did when he was by himself. 

It didn’t help that he had decided to swear off sex for the time being. He wanted to be sharp. Clear headed. 

He had decided to apply for graduate school. 

There was no reason he wouldn’t get in, truthfully, but it had been a while since undergrad and he would need to get letters of recommendation from his old professors, plus take the GRE, and write an essay for his application. All of it was due in March the following year, in order for him to start at the fall semester, but he wanted to get a head start, scared to leave anything to the last minute. 

He was being given a chance to prove himself by going out with his friends for Halloween. Promising to not take off, not do any drugs, and limit himself to a few drinks. Agree to go home with Wooyoung and San at the end of the night. 

He could do it. He felt it in his bones as he tied up his shaggy, grown out hair for his Geto costume. He could be good. 

I can be good. 

Wooyoung and San were getting ready and changing into their Gryffindor and Hufflepuff costumes in their bedroom, so the knock on their door in the living room confused Mingi. 

“I’ll get it!” He called towards his friends’ bedroom.

He opened the door to Seonghwa, dressed as Rey Skywalker. 

Mingi offered a small smile upon seeing the look of poorly disguised worry on Seonghwa’s face, “Hey, Hwa.” He moved out of the doorway, “Wanna come in?”

Seonghwa cleared his throat, stepping through the doorway, “Thanks.”

“Wooyoung and San are still getting ready but I can go get-”

“No!” Seonghwa cut him off, voice tense, “Sorry. No, thank you. I wanted to speak with you, actually. If you’re okay with that.”

Mingi led them over to the kitchen table, knowing it to be more out of earshot to his friends’ bedroom than the couch in the living room. 

Seonghwa sat down across from him, folding his hands in his lap, almost like he was trying to take up as little space as possible. 

Mingi waited for him to start. Maybe he was a little petty, but he really wanted Seonghwa to be the one to start. He felt that he was justified in being a little annoyed that it had taken the man two weeks to speak with him. 

“Mingi…” Seonghwa’s voice trembled immediately, “I owe you an apology.” 

“Hwa, you don’t have to, I understand-”

“No.” Seonghwa’s eyes snapped up to meet Mingi’s, “You don’t understand.”

Mingi leaned back into the chair, placing his clasped hands onto the table, “Okay. I’m listening.” 

“The night that Jongho…” Seonghwa swallowed, “No one knows this besides Hongjoong. But.” He breathed deep through his nose, “I had a missed call, Mingi.”

Mingi blinked as the realization hit. “You-”

“My phone was on silent. I had been on the phone with family all day, frustrated about wedding stuff. You know my parents don’t approve. It’s not an excuse… It’s been eating me alive. It’s a big reason we have postponed the wedding for so long. I’m seeing a therapist for it now but I think I was taking some of my anger at myself out on you, Mingi. Because you were with him that night. You’re a heavy sleeper and you’d been drinking. We all know that. Jongho certainly knew that. It’s not your fault you didn’t wake up when he left. I see that now. But I was deflecting my frustration with myself onto you and blaming it all on that.”

“Hwa…” Mingi wanted to tell him it’s okay. The guilt of his own secret making itself known by trying to steal the air from his lungs, stomach twisting. 

“No, please.” Seonghwa blinked back tears, “Let me finish.”

Mingi nodded, so Seonghwa continued, “When I got the call from Hongjoong. Well, Mingi, it hit me that I shouldn’t have let it get this far. I almost lost you, too. After yelling at you and kicking you out of my house.” A tear escaped his eye, making slow work through the makeup on his cheek, “I almost lost you, Mingi.” He sniffed, reaching for a paper towel to dab his eyes, “I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. I’m so fucking glad that Hongjoong answered his phone. I should have been understanding. It never should have gotten that bad for you, Mingi, I’m so sorry.” His words started to rush out then, “I knew I should have been there at the hospital. I shouldn’t have stayed away, but honestly, Mingi, every time I thought about trying to talk to you, trying to face this, I nearly had a panic attack. Hongjoong was patient, of course, but he told me we weren’t going out tonight unless I talked to you. He was right. I’m so sorry it took this long.” He buried his head in his hands, “I understand if you can’t forgive me right away, Mingi. But I want you to know that I’m going to do better. I’m going to be there for you. I never want you to feel like you can’t come to me, or any of us. But please, please, Mingi, don’t let it get that bad again, I don’t know what I-”

“Hwa.” Mingi stood up, walking around the table, “Come here.” He opened his arms.

Seonghwa blinked at him from his chair until Mingi nodded, then his friend stood and let himself be hugged. “I’m so sorry.” Seonghwa mumbled into Mingi’s chest.

“I’m sorry, too. I never should have scared you guys like that.” Mingi admitted. 

“I’m just glad you’re here.” 

“Me, too.” Mingi squeezed him tighter, “And I forgive you, Hwa. If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently, it’s that we all process grief differently.” He released Seonghwa, moving back to his chair. 

Seonghwa sat back down, “You sound like my therapist now.” A smile worked its way up the corner of his mouth.

“Well,” Mingi laughed, “I don’t have the right degree for that. But I have decided to apply for grad school.”

“Mingi!” Seonghwa’s face lit up with pride, “That’s amazing, honey. I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Hwa. I love you, you know?”

Seonghwa smiled, “I love you, too, Mingi. I promise I’ll do a better job of showing it.” 

“I’ll take it. Any extra love you have sitting around.” Mingi joked.

“Deal.”

“And then I’ll double it and give it back.” 

Seonghwa laughed, “I know you will. You try to hide it, Mingi, but I know you’re a loverboy. Soft. Hopeless romantic.”

Mingi’s head tipped back with his chuckle, acknowledging how right his friend was, “Just don’t tell anyone, okay? I have an image to protect.”

Seonghwa stuck out his pinky, “Your secret is safe with me. Pinky swear.”

“Pinky swear.” Mingi let his finger wrap around Seonghwa’s, sealing the deal. 

Hongjoong, dressed as Kylo Ren, called a few minutes later, having been waiting in the lobby of the apartment building for them. The four of them went downstairs to meet him, walking towards the subway station without being asked. Mingi was sure that they normally would have called an Uber, but they finally seemed to be acknowledging his aversion to riding in a car. 

They met Yeosang, dressed as a vampire, at the bar. 

Mingi did well for a while, but after a few hours out around so many people, noticing things he normally would have acted impulsively on - people discreetly exchanging small baggies of white powder, someone making eyes at him from across the bar, a woman trying to grind on him on the dance floor - added a sharp edge to the situation that he wasn’t accustomed to. He felt his heart rate begin to pick up, pounding in his ears, which had also started to ring. 

His instinct was to dart off out the front door alone, but he remembered his promises to ask for help if he needed it. He searched the room, finally spotting Yeosang leaving the bathrooms. 

He rushed over, grabbing his friend by the arm, “Sangie.” His grip was too tight, he knew.

His vision started darkening around the outer edges. Unable to take a full deep breath. 

“Mingi?” Yeosang studied him, seeing his chest heave, eyes looking like they were having trouble focusing, “Come on, let’s get you outside.”

Mingi’s brain couldn’t make sense of his words, “Am I in trouble again?” His voice sounded small.

“No, honey, you just need some air, I think.” Yeosang looked at him more seriously, trying to ensure his words got through, “Mingi-ssi. You’re not in trouble. You need fresh air. I’ve got you, come on.”

Mingi let himself be led outside, gulping the cold air down like water as fast as he could get it inside his lungs. 

“Just breathe through your nose, Mingi, you’re okay.” Yeosang instructed as he helped Mingi sit against the wall of the building.

Sobs racked his body unexpectedly, “I’m not trying to make everything about me, I swear!” Mingi looked at Yeosang, eyes pleading, desperate for his friend to understand.

“Mingi, no. No one thinks that. No one should have ever made you feel like that.” He grabbed one of Mingi’s hands, crouching in front of him, “You just got overwhelmed. It’s okay, really. I promise.” 

Wooyoung and San had noticed their absence, evidently, as Mingi could hear their voices, tight with worry, coming towards them.

“Oh, thank God.” San said, sitting down beside Mingi, “Hey, you’re okay, Mingi.”

“He got overwhelmed, I think he may have been having a panic attack. But he came and found me.” Yeosang explained. 

Wooyoung took Mingi’s other side, pulling his other large hand into his lap, “Good job finding Yeosang, honey.” Wooyoung squeezed his hand, “You did exactly the right thing.” 

Mingi still wasn’t back to reality, but his brain had started to clear somewhat, “No one is mad at me?”

San put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him over so his head fell to his broad shoulder, “No, Mingi, I promise. No one is mad. You did the right thing. Let’s get you home, yeah?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you guys leave early-”

He heard more footsteps approaching, “Of course we’re sure.” Hongjoong’s voice, “Come on. We’re all going to Wooyoung and San’s.”

“We’ll get takeout.” Seonghwa added.

“We can watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. I know you’ve been wanting us to watch it.” Wooyoung offered. 

Mingi finally sat up, tears tracking down his cheeks, “Okay, yeah. That sounds good.” 

Who knew letting your friends help you would be so nice. 

Back at Wooyoung and San’s place, they piled together on the couch and the floor in front, pizza slices in hand as they watched Aang and the gang fight the Fire Nation. Mingi was wedged between Seonghwa and Hongjoong and he let his head fall to Seonghwa’s shoulder as he started to get sleepy. 

He awoke a few hours later to find that everyone had stayed. He was in Seonghwa’s lap, everyone else snuggled together with blankets and pillows on the carpet or curled into armchairs. It felt like a sleepover they might have had in college. His heart ached with love for his friends. Jongho would have scoffed and acted opposed to it, but Mingi smiled as he pictured the man begrudgingly staying, probably ending up cuddling close with one of them on the floor. 

For once, the thought of his friend didn’t send him spiraling. 

He had agreed to stay another week at Wooyoung and San’s on their way back last night. He knew it was the right call. He laid his head back into Seonghwa’s lap and fell back asleep once more. 

Three Years Ago

The roof of the bar was crowded, but Mingi and Jongho had managed to carve a spot on the railing for it. 

“I’m confused why we’re drinking for this particular occasion!” Jongho had to practically shout over the music and voices.

“We’re celebrating for my mom!” Mingi said it like it was an explanation. It wasn’t.

“For her getting cheated on?” Jongho was still lost. 

“For my dad finally signing the divorce papers!” 

“Ohhh!” Jongho nodded, “Okay then why aren’t you drinking with your mom about it?”

“Because she’s not ready to celebrate it, but I am!” Mingi held his cup up, expecting Jongho to clink theirs together. 

Jongho shook his head, finally doing what was expected of him, “To cheaters! May they learn their lesson and never do it again!” 

“Cheers, I guess.” Mingi laughed, confused by what exactly his friend meant. “What’s worse, the cheater or the person they're cheating on with?”

Jongho considered, “The cheater. But it really depends on how close the other person is to the situation.”

“So you don’t think cheaters should be punished for cheating? Just learn their lesson and never do it again?”

“Their conscience will be punishment enough, I’m sure. Plus, I mean, I don’t think anyone is born a cheater. Or a mistress. Criminal. Everyone has things in their past that can explain their behavior, I think. It doesn’t mean they should never live a good life just because they do something bad.” 

Mingi thought about what had just been said, unable to come up with anything to rebut with. “I think you’re one of the most empathetic people out there, Choi Jongho. Good work keeping it so well hidden. I fear if anyone knew, they would just take advantage of it.”

Jongho chuckled, “Shut up.” He took a sip of his drink, “But thank you. Don’t tell anyone.” 

~stay tuned for part two~

[nrilliree]

https://www.tumblr.com/miss-dollette/751777149185376256/wake-up-call-for-ballistic-team-black-and-rhaenyra?source=share

Why the fuck put that in the Daemyra tag ?

Plus, we love seeing them bring out the same bullshit that we've already contradicted a billion times.

Also, I don't understand their obsession with saying that Rhaenyra got herself into trouble for her marriage under the pretext that she could marry whoever she wanted ?

Precisely she could marry whoever she wanted, and she didn't find anyone she wanted. Namely someone she could love and co-run with. She doesn't just choose a husband but a future king.

Like, we blame her for not finding someone she likes (as if that's can be controlling...) to one of the countless idiots we've seen parade around ? WTF ?

Also, let's be realistic, the only person Rhaenyra wanted to marry is also the only one Viserys will never leave her, namely Daemon.

Plus, if I remember correctly, this situation wasn't so much about giving Rhaenyra a choice to marry whoever she wants, but about making her feel like she had a choice so that she would finally get married.

Literally Viserys had a discussion about it with Alicent !

To get Rhaenyra to marry the way Viserys wanted, he had to make Rhaenyra feel like she had a choice. So it was just the illusion of a choice from the start.

Additionally, Viserys literally choose Laenor in order to right his own mistake with the Velaryons, so a selfish behavior. He simply took the opportunity of having discovered Daemyra's escapade because of Otto to finally impose on Rhaenyra a marriage that would suit him.

Like... these people are blaming Rhaenyra for following her feelings for Daemon ? Oh yeah, she's such a spoiled brat for that.

Because it's such a spoiled person's behavior to want to be with the person you love !

I'm not even going to bother with the false mention of Daemon being a pedophile yet...

Besides, Daemon, so hungry for the throne, never really does anything to get it ? Whether it's in Fire and Blood or HOTD, the statement that he's so hungry for the throne makes me laugh. Is thinking too hard for these people ?

And sorry, but no, Daemon wouldn't have touched the Greens kids if it hadn't been for the usurpation.

He literally never had any threatening behavior towards them. He never showed the slightest interest in them, even negative. He is literally content to ignore their existence.

The fact that Daemon is ready to kill the Greens after the usurpation is not proof that he would have done it before (and I'm talking about the show). At that point the Greens have to kill Viserys for him, in addition to usurping his wife and causing the loss of his unborn daughter. And he suspects that soon they will come for them. You surprise me that he wants to get rid of it after all this mess !

The only children we see being threatened with their lives in danger throughout the show are literally the Velaryon children from the Greens. In addition, we also have proof that for the usurpation, they would have killed Rhaenyra and her family. They would have been killed if they had stayed after dinner in episode 8 ! And what's more, they wanted to take Daemyra's sons hostage !

Anyway, the only reason this argument exists is because... Otto says it. That's all.

Other than that, there's no indication that Daemyra would harm Alicent's children, you have to stop the bullshit after a while.

Everything proves that Greens are the aggressors for Blacks children. Not the opposite.

Tired of this bullshit.

Oh and this person is visibly neutral which... amounts to being a green no for me anyway.

Because such people want to attract attention so that later they can cry "TB they come uninvited and are rude :( :((".

Rhaenyra didn't want to marry a 10-year-old, or an 80-year-old, or a sexist Lannister who would force her to give up the throne to Aegon? What a spoiled, horrible brat! It's all her fault! Because you understand - her forced marriage to Laenor is her fault and she is not a victim. But Alicent and her forced marriage to Viserys, whom she visited alone in his chambers for half a year without saying a word that her father told her to, is a complete victim of the marriage. Not like Rhaenyra. Neither does Laenor. NO. Only Alicent is THE victim. Besides, I bet that if Rhaenyra had chosen Harvin, for example, she would have been advised against it so they could use her to fix Viserys' mess.

My favorite argument is always "Daemon doesn't want Rhaenyra, he just wants the throne." So why did he show interest in her when HE was the heir, not her :D?

And if Daemon and Rhaenyra wanted Alicent's children to be dead, they would be dead. They would meet with accidents over the years, because if Daemon could organize B&C, he could do this too. But he didn't. Because it was the TGs who had a plan to murder Rhaenyra and her family. Not the other way around.

[agattthaa]

Loyalty

Paring: Maria Theresa/Renée De Noailles

Word count: 1.542

Rating: T

(Mentions of murder)

Summary: Renée's loyalty laid with Maria Theresa and with no one else

Tagging: @rc-catalog

-I fear I don't understand what you mean, Monsieur.

-What is there to not understand, Mademoiselle? I just pointed out that Madame Scarron's death was very sudden. She was a young woman, healthy… Her death was very sudden indeed..

-It was indeed a fatality, Monsieur Le Roi. What I fail to understand is why did you call only me and Alexander to talk about Madame Scarron's early death.

The King paced around the room, sometimes, stopping to look to either Alexander, who stood on the side of his throne or to look at Renée, who stood in front of it. He was restless ever since the news of the death came out. It was clear to everyone to see that he craved for her, and now he looked more like a child who was denied a toy than he really wanted.

Meanwhile, Alexander stood perfectly still, his eyes never leaving the woman's face. She could feel him analyzing every single thing she said, the way she standed and even the way she looked at the King. She could feel the judgment and untrust in the air, and it only got worse when the doors of the throne room bursted open.

Maria Theresa walked in the room as if the entire castle was her own, and she looked ethereal. She was completely left out of any political affair and to Renée it was clear that she had no intention of changing that, especially after her own husband declared war against her country. Yet, there she was. Standing like an immovable object between Renée and the King, like an entire wall, whose only objective was to keep Renée safe.

She hadn’t even looked at her lover, only stopping in front of her and staring at the king with a look of absolute defiance. She had never looked so beautiful.

Four guards stood on the open door looking between the queen's back and the king's perplexed face.

-Your majesty. I apologize. I know that you ordered no one to disturb you, but her majesty…

-There is no problem. Let us be.

His annoyance was even more clear. He was upset before, got more upset when his wife invaded the room, and now that she stood before Renée with a completely defensive stance, he was furious.

-I believed we already had an agreement about Mademoiselle De Noailles's stand as my… company, Monsieur Le Roi.

The King let out some air though his nose, and it was amusing to see how close he was to losing his composure.

-Mademoiselle De Noailles is not here because she is your mistress, Madam. She is here as my subject. We are simply talking about the abnormality of Madame Scarron's death. And you know what amuses me the most? I can not think of anyone in this palace that had any reason to wish death on such a righteous woman such as Madame Scarron besides you, Maria Theresa.

The queen's stance only shifted when the woman behind her was called by mistress, but besides that she was perfectly still, even though she perfectly understood what her husband was implying.

-That I am aware, Madame Scarron's death was the result of a poor heart, and that it was the royal physician the one that made her obituary. -The queen rightfully pointed out. -Besides, do you really believe that I would kill someone? And that if I did I would tell it to my Renée knowing about her loyalty to you?

-That is the funny thing, Madame. I don't believe you killed Madame Scarron. I believe Mademoiselle De Noailles did.

And it was clear that the queen was more than capable of dealing with state affairs, because even after her husband accused the woman that slept next to her every single day of murder, she kept perfectly still. Not a single emotion showed on her bright eyes.

-That makes no sense at all, Monsieur Le Roi. You just said that no one in this castle had anything against Madame Scarron, and now you accuse a woman that has shown nothing but loyalty to you of such a vile act.

The air in the room became thicker once the king started laughing. The situation only became more absurd. Renée just wanted to grab Maria Theresa by the hand and run to their bedroom and hide under their covers, but she knew she couldn't, so she simply touched the skirt of the older woman.

-And that is the biggest misconception one could have, Madame. Mademoiselle De Noailles has not been loyal to me or to the French throne. She is loyal to you and only to you, Maria Theresa. Or do you think that all the servants of the crown went almost insane when our son disappeared? Do you think they all stayed awake till the sunrise searching for him in the woods or that just anyone would invade a house unarmed not knowing how many enemies were there just to retrieve your son? Do you think loyal subjects of the crown storm out of the room just because someone offended you after not even excusing themselves from their king? Mademoiselle De Noailles is a very good subject to the crown and very worried about the future of France when your feelings are not in the opposite direction, Madame. She was even the strongest objector against the war simply because it was against your country.

All of them stayed in absolute silence during the entire monologue. Because, besides Maria Theresa, they all knew that the King was right. From day one, when Renée was still simply a spy under Alexander's control, she refused to do anything that could hurt her queen. Even when Alexander demanded her to sleep with an old man in exchange for information, her first thought was how that would be a betrayal to Maria Theresa. Not her feelings had become the second most important thing, but first it came Maria Theresa's. Perhaps that was what being in love was.

And she didn't appreciate having her feelings exposed like that, especially not in front of her coworker and by their boss, who happened to be her lover's husband. But she knew it was the truth, she knew they all knew it, and perhaps it was time that Maria Theresa knew that already. That Renée's loyalty did not belong to any ruler or any country, but only to Maria Thereso's soft eyes and sweet soul.

-So let me ask you only this once, Mademoiselle De Noailles. Did you murder Madame Scarron?

The king broke the deadly silence with the question he had wanted to ask ever since he received the news. He could ignore all the other defects that he knew that Renée had. She was a very competent servant, so he really could. He could ignore the fact that she had the opportunity to declare that her loyalty belonged to him, but that she didn't. That her silence was her way of agreeing with everything that he had said. He could ignore everything if she really didn't take away from him what he wanted so much.

-I did not murder Madame Scarron.

Was the only thing she answered. The king stayed silent, staring at her for at least five entire minutes before turning to Alexander, the question clear in his eyes. The valet simply shook his head, his eyes fixated on Renée.

-I don't see any lie on her, Monsieur.

The man's words clearly were more important than the king's own opinion, because as soon as the valet said then, the king simply threw himself on his throne, waving his hand to the side as a clear order for everyone to leave him alone. Renée didn't waste a second, taking Maria Theresa's hand on her and walking to the queen's bedroom. To their bedroom.

If Maria Theresa was shocked or impressed by anything said in the throne room, she didn't say. Only lacing her fingers with her lover's and squeezing her hand.

And in silence they stayed while they undressed and silent they stayed while they climbed their bed, facing each other. Renée raised her hand to Maria Theresa's face and the woman leaned in her touch, just as it had always been.

-Did you kill her?

There wasn't any judgment or fear in Maria Theresa's eyes. She looked at Renée with care and love just as she always did.

That love was worth anything. Renée would stay all nights awake and go deep into any woods or climb into any mountain or enemies houses to make sure that Maria Theresa would still look at her precisely like that in the morning. So she took her hand from Maria's face, covering them both with their thick blanket and saying a very audible “No”.

But under their covers, she wrote a very big “Yes” on the queen's skin.

No one should dare to offend Maria Theresa with such insolence and indifference, and Renée would make sure that no one else would for as long as she lived.

Maria Theresa simply nodded. The love still visible in her eyes and her care for Renée still palpable in her touch, so they simply hugged each other close and drifted. Both dreaming of the same tomorrow.

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

Written in the Stars: Chapter II - The Padawan and the Senator

Chapter Summary: A few years pass after your meeting with Anakin Skywalker. One day he returns with your dear friend Padmé Amidala. Someone tries to kill her and it was decided she's going to stay at your palace, protected by Anakin. During their stay there, you and the Jedi become closer. Is Padmé going to be all right? And where is Obi-Wan?

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker/Reader

Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Reader, Padmé Amidala, Shmi Skywalker, Cliegg Lars, Owen Lars, Beru Lars, C3-PO, Obi-Wan Kenobi, R2-D2

Word Count: 9066

A/N: This chapter contains plot and dialogues from "Attack of the Clones". Gif is not mine. Happy reading!

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@drinix

@astro-kitty-launch

@nikiloveshayden

Anakin has imagined meeting again Padmé Amidala for years. But when it finally happened… it was completely different. She still sees him as a child. And he… he struggles to see her as he saw her years ago. His angel.

Now he has a mission to protect her from an assassin that is after her. They're about to head to Naboo, where she should be safe. Not so long ago this thought would excite him. Not only is it his first solo mission, but he can spend time with a person he's been crushing on for years. But now… he has mixed feelings about it.

Still, he straightens up when she approaches him with some senator at her side. They're in a deep conversation. Skywalker wonders whether they're going to miss him.

'I really don't want to be a bother,' Padmé says, frowning.

'My dear, I assure you, you won't,' the Senator says. 'I've already consulted this with the King. He'd be more than happy to have you as his guest until all of this blows over.'

They stop. Amidala bites her lip. Finally, she sighs and nods.

'Very well, I accept,' she concedes. 'I agree it does make a better sense.'

'Excellent,' the Senator says, beaming. 'I'll inform the King. And don't worry about getting there. I'll organize everything. The same way you were supposed to go to Naboo.'

They bow to each other and the man walks away. Padmé looks at Anakin. He's looking at her with a frown.

'What was that all about?' he asks.

'A change of plans,' Amidala explains. 'We're not going to Naboo.'

'What?' Skywalker asks, alarmed and annoyed. 'You've already agreed-'

'I'm still going to leave Coruscant,' she interrupts him. 'But you must admit that if whoever is after me won't find me in here, they're going to search me on Naboo next.'

The padawan goes quiet. Because he does see the point of it.

'My friend, Senator Berugha, has offered that his home planet can take us until it's over,' the Senator continues. 'No one will be looking for me there.'

'Are you sure it's a safe place?' the Jedi asks after a beat. 'And that we can trust them?'

'Absolutely,' Padmé says firmly. 'I vouch for the Senator. And you've already been on that planet and met the King. We're going to Luth.'

Anakin freezes. He has a weird feeling in his stomach. Not a bad one. More like… a happy one.

'How do you know I was on Luth?' he asks, suddenly puzzled. Amidala smiles.

'I'm great friends with the princesses,' she explains. '[Y/N] told me how you rescued her.'

At the mention of your name, Skywalker feels warmth in his heart. He nods hesitantly.

'I'll consult with the Council,' he says and walks a way to contact his fellow Jedi. After a brief conversation, Yoda and others agree it may be a better move and approve of the change of plans.

Hours later they're landing on Luth. They come as refugees but there's a jet waiting for them in a discreet location. They get onto it and the driver takes them straight to the palace. There, the King is already waiting for them with a warm smile.

'Senator Amidala, Jedi Skywalker,' he greets them. 'It's so good to see you again. I hope everything went well.'

'Yes, Your Majesty,' Padmé confirms and curtsies to Andrrei. 'I can't thank you enough for your offer and help.'

'You're our dear friend,' the King says, his look suddenly hard. 'We may not be able to help you hunt down this… criminal… but we sure can offer you sanctuary for as long as you need. But there's nothing to worry about. I've heard Master Kenobi is after the assassin. He'll be quick to catch them, I'm sure. And you're in good hands.'

He smiles at Anakin, who bows to him. Andrrei pats young Jedi on the back and turns to the door.

'Follow me,' he invites them and starts walking, sending a mischievous smile their way. 'I haven't told [Y/N] and Astrariel about your visit. I wanted to surprise them.'

They all head inside. The King leads them through the corridors. Skywalker is pleased to see a lot of guards. But it doesn't mean he's going to let his guard down.

Finally, Andrrei knocks on the door already known to the Jedi. His heart skips a beat as he hears an invitation. They follow the King inside.

'Dear, I have a surprise for you!' he announces, beaming. Anakin has to stop when he sees you, lounging on the sofa, reading some documents. You look absolutely breathtaking. Wait. Why did he think that?

'Should I be worried?' you ask, not looking up. 'Last time you said that, Astrariel ended up covered in slime.'

'Not my fault she couldn't handle her new pet,' Andrrei shrugs. You sigh and look up. You widen your eyes in surprise, but quickly a smile spreads across your face and you jump on your feet.

'Padmé!' you exclaim and rush to your friend. 'It's so good to see you!'

'And you, [Y/N],' Amidala says, hugging you tightly. 'You have no idea.'

You laugh and look over her shoulder. Your eyes meet Skywalker's. He smiles shyly. You let go of the Senator and walk to him.

'Anakin,' you greet him with a warm smile. 'I dare to say you're an even bigger surprise.'

'Not a bad one, I hope,' he says, grinning cheekily. You chuckle and shake your hand.

'Never,' you assure him and take your hands in his. 'I'm really glad to see you again.'

'As am I, pri- I mean, [Y/N],' the Jedi quickly corrects himself. You grin and look between your two guests.

'But what are you doing here?' you ask. Everyone's faces fall. They tell you about everything. You have a worried frown on your face when they're done.

'It is indeed troubling,' you say and take Padmé's hand in yours. 'I'm glad you've agreed to come here. We will not let any harm come to you. Especially, since Anakin is your personal bodyguard.'

You send him a smile and he responds with a bashful one. You turn to your father to ask him a question, but the door to your chambers bang open and your sister rushes in with a happy squeal. You sigh.

'How many times have I asked you to knock?' you ask, but don't sound angry.

'As if I counted,' Astrariel huffs. She grins at Amidala and runs to her with open arms. The Senator chuckles, as she hugs the younger princess.

'I'm so glad you're here, Padmé!' your sister squeals. 'It's such a nice surprise! Are you here for long?'

'That remains to be seen,' your friend answers, exchanging a look with Anakin. Astrariel pulls away and looks at every one of you.

'I don't want to know what's all this about, do I?' she asks. Your father sends her a sad smile.

'It will be safer for you, Trouble,' he answers. She sighs and looks at the Jedi. She smiles and curtsies respectfully.

'It's good to see you again, Padawan Skywalker,' she says. Anakin bows to her.

'I'm glad to see you again as well, Princess Astrariel,' he says and your sister grins at him. 'You've grown, my lady.'

'Only on the outside,' you assure him. Astrariel gasps, outraged, and throws a pillow at you. You manage to grab it and give Skywalker a look.

'You see my point?' you ask. He has troubles to remain serious. Your sister pouts at you and turns to the King.

'Does mom know?' she asks.

'She does, but she's having a meeting with Senator Berugha,' Andrrei answers. 'She should be done in time for supper. In the meantime… Padmé, Padawan Skywalker, I'm sure you're tired after your journey here. I'll escort you to your rooms. Then we'll discuss security measures. After that, I'll leave you to prepare for supper. Don't worry, we won't force you to eat in our company every day.'

'It would hardly be forcing,' Amidala chuckles. 'I always enjoy your company.'

'Just wait a few weeks,' your sister says. The tone of her voice causes your guests to look at her warily. She grins at them.

'Don't worry,' she says with a teasing glint in her eyes. 'I'm sure we'll have lots of fun!'

*

Next day, after a meeting with your parents and the Council, you find your guests in your sister's chambers, along with her. Anakin is sitting in a corner, while Astrariel is dragging Padmé to the couch, very excited. You hold back a smile when you notice her pulling out a sketchbook. You walk discreetly to Skywalker.

'Come with me,' you say quietly to him. He looks at you, surprised, and glances at Amidala. Your sister is showing her the sketches she's drawn.

'Don't worry, nothing will happen to Padmé,' you assure him. 'Besides, I just want to take you on the balcony. Trust me, when my sister gets her hands on her, she will occupy her for hours. And I'm afraid it may be a bit… dull for you.'

'I don't mind,' the Jedi tries to be brave. 'It's my job to guard the Senator, no matter how tedious it is.'

'Astrariel is going to drag you there any minute now and force you to watch the sketches of dresses,' you inform him. You almost burst out laughing at the horrified look on his face. He doesn't protest anymore and follows you on the balcony. But even when you gaze at the beautiful city below, you notice he's tense.

'You don't believe we can keep her safe,' you speak up after a moment. Anakin glances at you.

'I can't rely on others to do my job,' he says after a moment. 'Many believed she was safe at her apartment on Coruscant. But she wasn't. And… you were taken from here once.'

'Twice, actually,' you correct him and he looks at you with surprise. 'The first time was before I met you. Many years before.'

Skywalker notices your eyes becoming distant. You're lost in a memory. Clearly, judging by your solemn look, not a happy one.

'However, ever since I was kidnapped for the second time, my father has tightened up the security,' you say, blinking. 'But I understand your concern and admire how dutiful you are.'

The Jedi can't help but smile at your praise. You answer in kind.

'Obi-Wan will find the assassin, won't he?' you ask suddenly. He nods.

'Of course,' he confirms. 'I have no doubt about it.'

'But until then, you're our guest,' you say. 'And since your first visit was so short, you didn't have time to explore properly. Will you do me an honor of being your guide tomorrow?'

'The honor will be mine,' he says, giving you a slight bow. Immediately, you shove him gently. He gives you a surprised look.

'You're my friend, not my subject, so don't you dare bowing to me when we're alone,' you huff, irritated. Anakin grins.

'Yes, my lady,' he says teasingly. You glare at him and he chuckles. Your look softens.

'What is it?' he asks. You shake your head.

'It's nothing,' you answer. He hesitates, but finally decides to shove you a bit with his shoulder.

'Tell me,' he insists. 'Friends share their thoughts with each other.'

'Not all of them,' you say, rolling your eyes.

'Then share some with me,' he pleads. You think for a moment.

'I'm not too pushy with you, am I?' you ask, looking at him nervously. 'With insisting you're my friend and all?'

'No, no,' he denies, surprised, shaking his head. You exhale, relieved a bit.

'Let me know if I am,' you ask and gaze at the city. 'You see… as a princess I'm not having many friends. I'm not sure how to make them. But with you-'

'Yes?' he asks when you cut yourself off. You look at him again.

'I feel comfortable around you,' you explain slowly. 'And I think… this is how I should feel around a friend.'

Gently, you put your hand on top of his on the railing. He glances at it but doesn't pull his hand away.

'When I ran into you that day, you decided to help me even though you didn't know me,' you say. 'I understood why thanks to your story. And the fact you shared it with me and the stories of your adventures… it mattered a lot to me then. You'll always have a special place in my heart thanks to that.'

Anakin stares into your eyes, stunned. You're mesmerized by his beautiful eyes. Not really controlling it, you both lean in. But Padmé's laughter wakes you both up from your daze.

'I remember you promised me something,' Skywalker says when you take away your hand. You look at him, curious. He smirks at you.

'You promised me to tell me about your life,' he explains. You laugh.

'I doubt a boring life of a princess can be at all interesting to a Jedi,' you say, shaking your head. But he turns to fully face you and leans on his elbow, placing it on the railing.

'You promised,' he reminds you. You sigh.

'Very well,' you give in and start telling him about your life as a princess. You're both quiet when you're done.

'In a way, it's similar', Anakin says after a moment. 'Life of a princess and a Jedi. Obligations, duties, restrictions… The same, really.'

'Minus the adventures you have,' you say. Skywalker looks at you, a teasing glint in his eyes.

'Are you saying your life bores you, princess?' he asks. You raise your eyebrows at him.

'Do you want to switch for a day?' you ask. His face falls.

'No, thank you,' he denies. You chuckle and shake your head. A comfortable silence falls. You gaze at the city below, unaware of the Jedi's intense stare on you.

'Can I ask you something?' you suddenly ask.

'Anything,' he answers at once. You look at him, tilting your head.

'Jedi are supposed to represent and follow the light side of the Force,' you say. 'Why are you then forbidden to love? Isn't love the purest form of light?'

'Attachment is forbidden,' Anakin explains. 'It leads to fear. It leads to hate. And hate leads to the Dark Side. But compassion, an unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life.'

'I see,' you answer, frowning. 'That's why you're taken for training when you're young. So you wouldn't attach to your family.'

Skywalker is silent. He nods after a moment.

'That's why they didn't want to train me,' he says, surprising you. 'I was found by Master Qui-Gon Jin when I was nine. I loved my mother. And I feared for her. Still do…'

He trails off. You bite your lip. You hesitate. You open your mouth to say something, but then your sister calls for you and Anakin. You exchange a look and return inside.

'What is it?' you ask. Astrariel grins at you, while Amidala holds back a laughter.

'Padmé wants to see the designs I already have sewed!' your sister says. Your face falls. You know what that means. All of the designs were sewed for your size…

'Absolutely not,' you refuse and Astrariel immediately gives you a puppy-eyes look. 'No, don't try this on me. I will not play a model in front of our guests.'

'Actually… I would like to see the Astrariel's made designs,' Skywalker speaks up. You look at him, betrayed. He smirks at you, a teasing glint in his eyes. Your sister squeals and claps her hands excitedly. She looks at you with triumph.

'See?' she asks. You sigh, your shoulders slumping.

'Fine, you won,' you say and point your finger at her, narrowing your eyes. 'But you owe me!'

The younger princess laughs as you leave. She chats with your friends until you return. First, they hear your voice from behind the door:

'If anyone is going to laugh, I will make them sit next to Lord Ferguri at dinner.'

'Oh, gods,' Astrariel whispers, horrified. 'Unless you want to have your food full of spit, don't laugh.'

No further explanation is made, because then the door opens and in you walk, wearing a pale green dress, decorated with flowers and leaves. You head toward your friends and give a slow twirl.

'Oh, that truly is beautiful,' Padmé sighs, looking closely at the design. 'I really think I may make you my personal designer.'

Your sister beams at her. Nervously, you glance at the padawan. He doesn't take his eyes off you, taking you in.

'Stunning,' he declares. You relax a bit, then turn and leave to change into another dress. When your back is turned, you sense someone still looking at you, very intensely.

You continue your little fashion show. Each design gets praises and words of admiration. You can't argue with that. You may not like being a model for your sister, but you definitely agree that she has a talent.

Finally, it's time for the last design. And as it usually is during fashion shows… it's a wedding dress. You feel very self-conscious when you walk in.

'Oh!' Padmé gasps, her eyes going wide. She stares at the white dress decorated with pink roses with admiration. It seems to be bouncing slightly as you move and golden glitter on your top shines in the sunlight. Your shoulders are uncovered, but your arms are, the sleeves becoming wider as they go down.

'If I'm ever going to get married, I want it to be in that dress,' Amidala declares and looks at Astrariel. 'Or something similar.'

'Done!' your sister says happily. 'And what do you think, Skywalker?'

'Anakin?' you ask, when the padawan doesn't answer. You look at him nervously. Your heart stops when you see his eyes staring at you… with something you can't quite name.

'Breathtakingly beautiful,' he finally says, but his gaze is locked onto your eyes. You shiver. What is wrong with you?

'I'm so happy you like them!' Astrariel says and starts talking about new ideas she already has. But you don't listen to her. You're too lost into certain blue eyes.

*

Next day, as promised, you take Anakin and Padmé for a tour of the capital. Well, the Senator has already seen it a few times, so she's mostly talking and laughing with Astrariel, who's there with you as well. They're walking a few feet ahead of you and the Jedi. Somehow, neither of you mind it.

At some point, you're no longer talking about history of the capital nor your planet. The conversation between you and Skywalker becomes more private. He flusters you when he asks you about your first crush.

'I don't know…' you sigh, trying to change the subject.

'Sure you do,' Anakin doesn't give up. 'You just don't want to tell me.'

'Are you going to use one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?' you tease him.

'They only work on the weak-minded,' he says and looks you in the eyes. 'You are anything but weak-minded.'

Your smile drops. You stare at him with a frown. But he's serious, you can tell. Flushed, you turn your gaze from him.

'All right, I was thirteen,' you give up with a sigh. 'He was fifteen and was a son of a senator of one of the planets. He was very cute. Dark curly hair. Dreamy eyes.'

'All right, I get the picture,' Skywalker says, suddenly grumpy. 'Whatever happened to him?'

'He left,' you answer, shrugging, and buy some local fruits for you two. 'He was just for a visit. His father finished his term and he didn't follow into his footsteps, but became an architect. He had no reason to come here again. And I couldn't come where he was, as my lessons about being a queen didn't allow that.'

'Maybe he was the smart one,' the Jedi says. You barely hold back an amused smile.

'You really don't like politicians, do you?' you ask.

'I like two or three, but I'm not really sure about one of them,' he answers, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You get the hint and you both chuckle. But Anakin suddenly stops smiling.

'I don't think the system works,' he says. You tilt your head, interested.

'How would you have it work?' you ask.

'We need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problems, agree what's in the best interests of all the people, and then do it,' he answers.

'That is exactly what the Senate does,' you say. 'The trouble is that people don't always agree. In fact, they hardly ever do. Both politicians and other people.'

'Well, then they should be made to,' Skywalker says. You stop, causing him to stop as well, and frown at him.

'By whom?' you ask with disbelief. 'You?'

'Of course not me,' he quickly denies.

'But someone,' you almost scoff.

'Someone wise,' the Jedi says. You shake your head.

'That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me,' you say. A mischievous little grin creeps across Anakin's face.

'Well, if it works…' he says. You stare at him. He looks back at you, straight-faced, and can't hold back a smile. You huff.

'You're making fun of me,' you realize.

'On no, I'd be much too frightened to tease a princess,' he says sarcastically. You huff, annoyed.

'You're so bad!' you say, annoyed, and throw your fruit at him. He catches it. There's a deep look in his eyes.

'You're always so serious,' he says. 'Always carrying the weight of the universe on your shoulders.'

'Not the universe,' you say, forcing a light tone in your voice to defuse this strange tension. 'Just my planet.'

'Everyone deserves a bit of fun, even princesses,' he says, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. You shiver at the touch. Your heart is beating fast. When did you move so close to each other?

'Hey!' a voice destroys the moment. You and Skywalker pull away quickly and turn your heads. You see Astrariel and Padmé pushing their way through the crowd to you.

'Why did you get behind?' your sister demands.

'Well, may I remind you we're giving our guests a tour,' you say teasingly. 'That means stopping and admiring the city.'

The younger princess looks around doubtfully. You're standing near a butcher and a shop with dungs. She raises her eyebrows.

'Yeah, because there's so much to admire here,' she snorts. You walk past her, your head high, praying not to blush.

'Every job is important, dear sister,' you say. 'Everyone has their part to do to keep our planet blooming and we should admire that.'

Astrariel murmurs something under her breath but follows you without further questions. Anakin and Padmé exchange an amused look and do the same.

Soon after you're walking through a meadow with horses grazing there. It's your sister's favorite place. She mounts one horse and invites Padmé for a competition. You expect Skywalker to protest or at least ride after them. But instead, he climbs on one of the horses and… stands on it. The animal, starts riding.

Skywalker waves his arms wildly, trying to maintain the balance. You can't help it and start laughing. He looks at you and grins.

But suddenly the horse bucks, and he falls off. You laugh even harder. However, he lies still. Frightened, you run to him.

'Anakin!' you call. 'Anakin, are you all right?'

When you reach him and turn him over, he's already laughing. You yelp in mock fury and take a swing at him. He catches your arm. You struggle. You roll over in the grass until you're on top of him, laughing.

Suddenly, you become aware of the contact between you two. You let go of each other quickly and sit up, looking away. Your face is flushed and your heart is beating furiously.

Anakin stands up and holds out his hand to you. You stare at it for a moment, then take it. He pulls you up. You look each other in the eyes. You smile suddenly, the tension suddenly gone. You feel relaxed around him again.

'Hey!' you hear your sister voice, interrupting you again. You turn your heads and see her riding on the same horse as Padmé. Astrariel is blushing.

'Um… I sort of fell from my horse and it galloped away,' she admits. You stare at her blankly. You and Skywalker exchange a look. Then, to your sister's outrage, you start laughing. She's so mad at you, she's refusing to speak to you all the way back.

You arrive just in time for supper. You eat together with your parents. Astrariel and Anakin goof around together, making you all laugh. You and Padmé look at each other and smile.

It's strange. You can't remember the last time you felt this… happy. Peaceful. It's always fun when Amidala is around. But it's even better now. Without even wanting to, your eyes land on the young padawan.

Soon after, you're all going to sleep. When you wake up the next morning, you go to the Senator's room after you dress. You find her on the balcony… with Skywalker. They both look troubled.

'Did something happen?' you ask, walking to them with a frown. They both look at you. Anakin gulps.

'I… I have to go on Tatooine,' he says. 'My mother… she's in danger. I know it.'

'He's been having nightmares,' Padmé explains. 'Of her in pain, calling for him. He has to save her. I'm going with him. Could you get us a ship, please?'

You stare at them, a conflict clear in your eyes. Padmé stares at you calmly, the decision already made. And Anakin… The pleading look gives you breaks your heart. You sigh.

'Come with me,' you say and turn around. They both hurry after you. You don't give them time to grab anything. When they point it out, you say they won't need anything. You take them to your speeder. You whisper something in the driver's ear.

'Certainly, my lady,' he says and starts the engine. All three of you are very anxious on your way to your destination. Skywalker and Amidala even more, when they realize you're not taking them anywhere near port. When they question you about it, you ask them to be patient.

Finally, you arrive on some farm. Your companions are puzzled, but both decide you must have some hidden ship here. However, you stop a few feet away from a small cottage. You play with your hands nervously and look at Anakin with guilt in your eyes.

'I've been struggling whether I should tell you about it ever since you arrived,' you say. 'But there's no question about it now. You should know.'

'Know what?' Skywalker asks, frowning. But at that moment the door to the hut open and a woman walks out. She gasps.

'Ani?' she asks with disbelief. The Jedi stares at her with shock.

'Mom?' he asks, his voice trembling. They run to each other and embrace tightly. Padmé is shocked as well. You smile at the reunion.

'How are you here?' Anakin asks, crying with joy. His mother glances at you. You sigh.

'Let's come inside,' you say and you all get into the hut, where your companions meet Cliegg Lars, Shmi's husband, his son Owen and his wife Beru. You sit down around a kitchen table. Everyone looks at you. After a minute you start a story from a month after you met Skywalker and Kenobi.

*

You and your father arrived on Tatooine to resolve some dispute with Jabba the Hut. You were not pleased about it, as you condemn slavery, but your father explained that sometimes a ruler has no choice and it's always wise to listen, even if you despise the person you're talking with. You thought (and still do) this is complete bul- nonsense.

Still, you behaved well during the meeting with Jabba. Even though you wanted to at least insult him. Your father could tell. So, as a reward and a way for you to cool down, he allowed you to spend the rest of the day the way you wanted. You decided to take a walk around, see how the people there were living.

Your mood dampened quickly. Most of the people there were poor. Or were slaves. It's a truly wretched place. You wished you could do something to help them out. But you knew you couldn't fix everything.

You were having those thoughts, when suddenly someone bumped into you. The things they were carrying, spilled on the ground. It was a woman.

'I am so sorry,' she said, quickly lowering herself to pick up some spare parts for machines. 'I really am. I hope I can make it up to you somehow, my lady.'

'It's all right,' you quickly assure her and start helping her out. 'Nothing happened. I wasn't looking where I was going.'

'Oh, no, you don't have to do that,' the woman says, flustered. You smile at her.

'But I want to,' you say and gather some things for her. You both stand up then and you pass her the things. Your guards and maid stayed out of it, thank gods. They were told to keep an eye on you but not act as they're your protectors, so not to attract attention to you.

'Thank you,' the woman said. 'If there is anything I can do for you in return…'

'There's no need,' you replied, shaking your head. 'Like I said, I wasn't looking where I was going. This looks heavy, though. I could help you carry it. There's no problem, really.'

The woman wanted to protest. But you're having none of it. You could see she's a slave. You might not be able to help everyone, but if you could make a life of one slave easier, you were going to do it. You helped her carry her things to one of the shops.

'Thank you for your kindness,' she said when you handed them back to her. 'I hope I can repay you one day.'

'I wish I could help you more,' you said with sorrow but offer her a smile. 'I'm [Y/N], by the way.'

'Shmi,' the woman introduced herself. 'Shmi Skywalker.'

Your smile dropped. Your eyes went wide from shock. From all the people to meet…

'Skywalker?' you repeat with disbelief. 'You're Anakin's mother?'

Now it's the woman that's shocked. She opened her mouth to say something, but then someone from the shop called for her. She winced. She hesitated. It was clear she wanted to stay, ask you about her son… but she had to obey her master. So, reluctantly, she quickly bided you goodbye and hurried back inside.

You stood where you were, surprised. That's how your father found you.

'Are you okay?' he asked, worried about the frown on your face.

'I just met Anakin's mother,' you answered. The King was surprised by it as well. What he's not surprised by, is the pleading look you gave him.

'You know we can't,' he said before you could say anything. 'And especially not now. It could jeopardize the negotiations.'

'Or… it could actually help them,' you argued. 'If you bought her-'

'We're not buying slaves,' your father barked. 'We're not supporting slavery.'

'- and then gave her freedom,' you finished your thought, 'you'd show Jabba that you respect his position but also stand by your morals.'

Your father stared at you, thinking it over. Finally, he sighed.

'I'm sure I'll regret it yet,' he murmured and went where Anakin's mother had. You waited, impatient. But finally, he returned with confused Shmi. Her eyes went wide when she noticed you.

'You-' she started.

'[Y/N], return to our… accommodations,' Andrrei interrupted her. 'Ms. Skywalker and I will take care of formalities.'

'Formalities?' Anakin's mother asked, confused. The King looked at her.

'Concerning your freedom,' he explained. Shmi looked at him, stunned. Nevertheless, she followed him. You grinned and together with your escort returned to the place you'd been staying at.

A few hours later, your father returned with Skywalker and a protocol droid. You learnt his name is C-3PO and had been made by little Anakin. Andrrei exchanged a few words with you and then left. You turned to Shmi, who was very nervous. She quickly curtsies, noticing your gaze.

'Your Highness,' she said. You smiled and walked to her. You took her hands in yours.

'Please, there's no need for this,' you said and led her to your bed. You both sat down on it. You sighed and chuckled nervously.

'I owe you an apology,' you said and she looked at you, surprised. 'My father and I took you without asking for your opinion on the matter.'

'I'm very grateful to be free again, Your Highness,' Anakin's mother said and looked away. 'Just…'

'Yes?' you gently prompted her. She sighed.

'A certain farmer has…' she started and blushed, '… been planning to set me free. He's been putting his money away to buy my freedom.'

'You're in love with each other,' you guessed. 'And if you want to remain free, you have to leave with us. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be,' Shmi said, shaking her head with a soft smile. 'I'm glad to be a free woman again.'

At that moment your supper was brought. You mulled over the problem during it.

'Would he be willing to leave with us?' you asked at some point, surprising Skywalker. 'We could find both you a job in the capital.'

'The farm has been in his family for generations,' Anakin's mother says slowly. 'Besides… he has a son and he's been courting a girl.'

'There are no things we wouldn't do for a true love,' you said. 'What's his name? We can pay him a visit tomorrow and explain the situation.'

'Cliegg Larson,' Skywalker answered and explained to you how to reach his farm. You nodded, already decided to at least try to bring two lovers together. You just had to convince your father to that idea. And the Lars family.

Needn't any of you worried. Cliegg loved Shmi so much, he's willing to leave Tattooine behind to be with her. He's supposed to join you a few months after your return, as he had to take care of things. Plus, Owen wanted to properly marry Beru, so she could leave with them. Anakin's mother was very pleased with the outcome. Your father not as much, but he was happy to do the right thing.

A few days later the negotiations came to an end. Your thoughts were correct and buying Shmi her freedom had helped you resolve the conflict your family had with Jabba. Both sides were pleased and it was time to go back home.

'I can't thank you enough for your kindness, my lady,' Skywalker said, as you were boarding your ship. You shook your head.

'I told you told you to call me by my name,' you chided her. 'And besides, I'm also returning a favor. Your son saved my life, as I told you.'

'And I'm very proud of him,' Anakin's mother said with a smile. 'But still… you didn't have to do that.'

You decided to leave the matter be. You boarded the ship and focused on C-3PO, who was very excited to be on a spaceship for the first time. You smiled. This droid was a bit odd, but you definitely liked him.

'Do you think…' Shmi started slowly, '… that I'm going to see him again?'

'Who knows?' you asked, knowing who she's talking about. 'I wouldn't be surprised. But to be honest, I'm not sure whether we can inform him you're with us. Jedi are supposed to leave their families behind. They don't visit them after they leave. But your son… he already had a bond with you. I think he would be eager to visit you every now and then, as our planet is closer to Coruscant. And I'm not sure if that's good…'

'I understand,' Skywalker said with a sad smile. 'Still, I will be hoping our paths will cross again one day.'

'So will I,' you said quietly and looked away. 'So will I…'

*

'Like we promised, we joined a few months later,' Owen finishes the story and smiles. 'And then these two got married.'

'I'm sorry I kept it secret from you,' you say to Anakin. 'I felt that you should know, but on the other hand, the Jedi Code-'

'I understand,' Skywalker interrupts you, smiling at you with tears in his eyes, and reaches out to squeeze your hand. 'I do. And I'm glad you decided to tell me.'

'It's not like I had a choice,' you say, frowning with worry. 'Otherwise, you'd fly to Tatooine and wouldn't find your mother. Who knows how that would end.'

'Yes,' Padmé says slowly. 'But it makes me curious… Why did Anakin have those dreams, then? His mother is completely safe.'

'Maybe it's a warning of what's to come?' the Jedi asks, anxious.

'Or someone wanted you to come to Tatooine,' you suggested.

'Who would have such power to influence dreams of a Jedi?' Beru asks. You immediately notice a shadow passing over Anakin's face. You guess he has an idea. But it's also not your business. You you're relieved when C-3PO arrives, averting the attention to him, as he's glad to see his creator again.

You leave the house a few hours later on your own. You hurry to the palace, already late for a meeting. Unfortunately, it's a first of many. You manage to meet with others only later in the evening. Or rather with young padawan, as Padmé went to sleep, tired after the day with Lars family.

'Judging by your smile, it was a good day,' you say, sitting down next to Skywalker on the floor. He's been trying to meditate. He grins at you.

'Yes,' he confirms. 'I'm very grateful to Senator Berugha he offered Padmé to arrive here. And I'm very grateful you freed my mother.'

Again, he reaches out and takes your hand in his. For a minute you stare at your joined hands.

'It was a right thing to do,' you said. 'And… I was repaying my debt. You saved my life, remember?'

'And I'd to it a thousand more times, without you needing to answer in kind,' Skywalker says with a surprising passion. 'What you did for me… You gave me a peace of mind. I know she'll be safe here. And happy. I think I can now really focus on my training for a Jedi.'

'I'm glad,' you say. You smile at each other. Slowly, you move closer… but a sudden noise outside makes you jump apart. You look at each other and laugh.

'Well, I better go,' you say and stand up, Anakin quickly doing the same. 'Another busy day tomorrow, I'm afraid. But I'll tell my driver to take you and Padmé to your mother again.'

'You're too kind, [Y/N],' Skywalker says, already excited, but suddenly he becomes serious and kisses your hand. 'Goodnight, my lady.'

'Goodnight, Anakin,' you say, surprised. You quickly leave the room, blushing for some reason. You're not aware of the stare the Jedi gives you.

Next day you see with others in the afternoon, as Skywalker, Amidala and your sister burst into your father's room along with R2-D2. You're there as well, helping your father with his mail. The sudden appearance and panicked looks on their faces startle you.

'What happened?' the King asks, already raising to his feet.

'We just got a message from Obi-Wan,' the padawan says and looks at the droid. 'Artoo, play it again, please.'

R2-D2 projects a hologram of Kenobi. You and your father focus on it.

'Anakin, my long-range transmitter has been knocked out,' it says. 'Retransmit this message to Coruscant. I have tracked the bounty hunter Jango Fett to the droid foundries on Geonosis. The Trade Federation is to take taking delivery of a droid army here and it is clear that Viceroy Gunray is behind the assassination attempts on Senator Amidala. The Commerce Guilds and Corporate Alliance have both pledged their armies to Count Dooku and are forming a- Wait. Wait!'

You watch, stunned as Obi-Wan is attacked by Droidekas. The hologram cuts off. You and your father exchange a startled look. The King quickly becomes stoic, though. He looks seriously at Skywalker.

'I assume you already sent this to the Council,' he says and the padawan nods. 'What are they going to do?'

'They are going to go to rescue him,' Anakin answers. Andrrei rubs his chin thoughtfully. Finally, he nods.

'I assume your orders are the same,' he says to Skywalker. 'You are to remain here and protect Senator Amidala.

'Yes, Your Majesty,' the Jedi confirms, clearly displeased with this.

'But they'll never get there in time to save him,' Padme puts in. 'They have to come halfway across the galaxy. We are much closer.'

You know that look on her face. Andrrei also does. He looks at her sternly.

'You are going to remain here,' he says and she opens her mouth to protest. 'That is not up for a discussion. Those people want you dead. You are safe here. Moreover, you don't jeopardize Anakin's future. He must protect you and obey the orders of the Jedi Council. He can only do both here. So, you're staying. But don't worry, Anakin. We're not leaving Obi-Wan alone.'

Skywalker and Amidala look at him, puzzled. You and your sister give him worried looks. He smiles at you softly and caresses Astrariel's cheek.

'If it weren't for you and Master Kenobi, things would have gone different years ago,' he says, looking at the padawan. 'I always remember what you did for my family. I'd like to repay your kindness. I'm going to take my army and help Obi-Wan, like he helped me.'

'Your Majesty-'Anakin protests with wide eyes. The King silences him with a raised hand.

'I made my decision,' he says, but notices the struggle in padawan's eyes. 'Girls, if you could leave us alone for a moment.'

You nod and take your friend and sister out of the room. Skywalker looks at your father with worry. But he calmly walks to his window, inviting the Jedi to join him. For a moment they stare at the city below.

'I know how you feel,' the King says. 'You want to rush and help your master, but you also don't want to disappoint him by disobeying orders.'

Anakin nods. Andrrei glances at him.

'Helplessness for someone who is a fighter, wants to protect the people they care about, is the worst form of torture,' he says. 'Even if people who are tasked with helping the one you want to save are skilled the same or even better than them.'

'Exactly,' Skywalker agrees, nodding vigorously.

'Helplessness was killing me a few years ago, when I asked you and Obi-Wan to find [Y/N],' the King continues and the Jedi freezes. 'I wanted to turn the city over. Mobilize the entire population to find her. Throw myself at those I thought were responsible. But I trusted you two that you would bring my daughter home, safe and sound. Today, I'm asking you to trust me that I can help Obi-Wan. Can you?'

They look at each other. Andrrei's gaze is calm, soft. Padawan's is nervous, anxious. But finally, Anakin nods.

'Of course, Your Majesty,' he says. The King clasps his arm and smiles.

'We'll be back before you know it,' he promises. 'And in the meantime, continue protecting the Senator. And… be a friend for [Y/N]. I don't think I've seen her laugh so much even around Padmé. And she's going to need it now.'

'I will do my best, Your Majesty,' Skywalker vows, bowing his head with respect. Andrrei lets go of him.

'Hurry back to your friends,' he says. 'I must make my preparations.'

Half an hour later you're all gathered to see your father and the army off. The King says his goodbye to everyone one by one. Astrariel hugs him tightly, bravely holding back tears. Your mother whispers something to her husband, clutching to him. He offers last words of advice to Padmé and Anakin. Then, he walks to you.

'You will do great,' he says, as he takes off his signet. 'It's not the first time.'

'It's always terrifying,' you say glumly. 'Do come back, please. I'm not ready to take over yet. I still have much to learn from you.'

Your father only smiles and hands you his signet. You accept it grimly.

'All will be well,' he says and turns to leave. You look at him, struggling.

'Father!' you finally shout, running after him. He turns and barely manages to open his arms to catch you in them.

'Be safe,' you whisper, hugging him tightly.

'And you be brave, my amazing daughter,', he murmurs and kisses your cheek. Then, he lets go and joins others on the ship. You watch it start and fly with a heavy heart.

'What was that your father gave [Y/N]?' Anakin asks your sister, watching your back.

'His signet,' Astrariel murmurs. 'It marks her as his successor and ruler during his absence.'

'But why does she need that?' Padmé asks, puzzled. 'I mean, she's his eldest daughter.'

'But she's not yet the crown heir to the throne,' your mother explains. 'And anyway, it's easier if you have the signet that was given willingly. No one can question her position.'

Skywalker and Amidala have more questions. But you turn and walk to them, then past them. They observe as you climb the stairs. Somehow you seem different. As if the burden you were given, was visible with the way you walk.

*

You watch with others the meeting of the Senate. When the Chancellor is granted emergency powers, you close your eyes. But when you open them, you see Padmé hanging her head at the news of forming the army of the Republic. She fought so hard against it…

'Things are going to be so different now,' your mother says.

'But… that means they're going to send those Clones to save Obi-Wan, right?' Astrariel asks. 'They will help dad and our army?'

'But at what cost?' Lyra asks.

'What are your thoughts of this?' Anakin asks you.

'Violence always leads to violence,' you answer after a beat. 'One feels safer with the army watching over them. But it all comes to it how much we can trust those who lead the said army. I have to go.'

'Where?' Amidala asks, turning her head after you. You grab your datapad.

'I must discuss with the Council what does it mean for our planet,' you answer and look at your mother. 'You're coming?'

'I'll join you soon,' she answers. You nod and head out. Lyra sighs and looks out of the window, worried.

'I'm sorry, Padmé,' she says. 'I know how much it meant to you.'

'Like Astrariel said,' Amidala says and forces a smile, 'at least they can help Obi-Wan and the King.'

Lyra hums and closes her eyes. She feels there are bad things ahead in all your futures.

It's the next day, when you burst into your sister's room, startling her, the padawan and the Senator. Your eyes are wide, but they see relief in them.

'Dad is coming back,' you inform them. Astrariel exhales, relaxing. But the Jedi looks at you, anxious.

'And Obi-Wan?' he asks. You look at him sadly.

'He didn't say,' you answer and turn. 'Come on.'

They hurry after you. You're not sure how much time has passed, when you finally see the ship landing in front of you. The wounded are taken out first. And there are so many of them…

'The battle was awful, Your Majesty,' General Juando, your father's best friend, says, as he helps one of the wounded. 'But the King is safe and sound.'

'Thank the gods,' your mother says, sending the General a smile. But soon she's rushing forward, because your father is leaving the ship. He gathers her in his arms and holds her close to his body. You watch them with a smile. You want to have the same kind of love one day.

'I see my home is still standing,' Andrrei says, letting go of his wife. 'No fires?'

'You will never let us forget that one time, huh?' Astrariel asks, rolling her eyes. Your father chuckles and hugs her when she runs into his arms.

'Never,' he promises and kisses the top of her head.

'Long story,' you say, seeing puzzled look of Skywalker and Amidala. 'The main point is we once set the palace on fire when dad was away.'

'You must tell me the longer version,' the Jedi says, grinning. You wink at him and focus on your father who comes to you. You kiss each other's kiss and gladly hand him back the signet.

'There are no riots or people to calm down,' you report. 'But the discussion about the Clone Army isn't over.'

'I've expected that,' the King sighs. 'Still, we wouldn't be here if it weren't for them showing up. And the Jedi, of course. Speaking of. There's someone here who wants to see you.'

He turns and you follow his gaze. At that moment you see Kenobi descending the ship.

'Obi-Wan!' Anakin shouts, relieved, and rushes to his master. The two men hug. As you get closer, you hear the older Jedi murmur 'I'm proud of you' to his younger colleague. You smile.

'Are you alright?' Astrariel asks. The men move away from each other. Kenobi grins.

'Oh, no worse for the wear,' he says and nods at your father. 'I am very grateful for the rescue. And fighting be your side, Your Majesty, was an honor.'

'Likewise, Master Jedi,' the King says with a grin. 'Next time we must spar.'

He gets a laugh as his answer. Your mother quickly ushers them inside.

'You're all exhausted, wounded and dirty,' she says. 'Off you go. I will not have anyone not taken care of.'

'Yes, Your Majesty,' two warriors answer at the same time. They share a grin. Something tells you they have become close friends.

Next day, it's time to say goodbye. It has been declared that there is no threat to Padmé's life. Her assassin is dead and the one who ordered the kill, has other things to worry about now. So, Obi-Wan and Anakin are to take her back to Naboo and then return to Coruscant. The war has begun and the Jedi are going to be a big part of it.

'I still don't like it,' you say, as you watch the Clones preparing the ship for take-off. 'I mean, they're the clones of the man that was after Padmé. Also, we have no idea who ordered to create them in the first place.'

'We need them and they've already proven to be a great asset,' Kenobi says. You hum, not satisfied. You poke him in the chest.

'You must be careful,' you say sternly. 'I'm sure my dad will hurry to your rescue any time you need, and I don't want to be a regent too many times.'

'I'll do my best,' the Jedi chuckles. He hugs you briefly and goes to chat with your sister and Amidala. Skywalker uses this opportunity to walk to you.

'Did you say goodbye to your mother?' you ask quietly. He nods grimly.

'It was hard… but I feel better with the knowledge she's safe here,' he says and looks at you. 'I took Obi-Wan with me, like you advised. He was surprised but admitted it was a good decision to take her here and tell me about it. He is worried about my nightmares, though.'

'Did they stop?' you ask. He nods.

'After the battle of Genosis,' he confirms. You both ponder this for a moment. Suddenly, he looks behind you.

'I can't tell you how grateful my mother and I are to you for what you've done,' he says. 'Words cannot express it. So, we hope you can accept this gift.'

You turn, surprised, and see C-3PO, refreshed with new covers, coming to you. You look at your friend with wide eyes.

'There's no need-' you start but he silences you with a raised hand.

'Mom doesn't need a protocolar droid anyway,' he says and shrugs. 'Me neither. But a princess that is to become a queen… Please, don't make me beg.'

'I guess I would be grateful for his help,' you sigh. He grins at you. Suddenly, his look softens and he takes your hands in his.

'I hope I'll see you again someday,' he says quietly. You look at your joined hands.

'I hope so, too,' you murmur. 'You're… my best friend, Anakin. And you're an extraordinary Jedi. I can't wait to see all that you will accomplish once you become a Jedi Knight.'

He grins. You can't help but smile back.

'Even if I am going to be one someday, it's still not going to be the title I'm going to be the proudest of,' he says, puzzling you. 'Being your best friend is.'

You laugh and pull him in for a hug. He holds you close to himself.

'Be safe, Anakin,' you beg in a whisper.

'And you be strong, [Y/N],' he murmurs. 'You're going to be the best queen this planet has seen. But you still have time for that. Just don't lose hope in yourself.'

'You neither,' you say. You reluctantly let each other go. You look each other in the eyes, hoping to say with them what your lips cannot.

Last goodbyes are made and soon you watch your friends leaving. You stay a moment longer than your family. A shiver runs through your body. You hug yourself.

'Gods, have them in your care,' you whisper. 'For now everything is going to be so different… They will need it.'

'Mistress [Y/N]?' C-3PO asks, troubled. You force a smile at him.

'Come, C-3PO,' you say and turn to the stairs to the palace. 'It's time to start a new day.'

Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Every comment makes my day!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60214684/chapters/153873442

[pluckyredhead]

Character Profile: Koryak

And so we come to the last (but never least, not in my heart) Lost Titans profile: Koryak! My terrible, damp boy.

Look at him pout! How I love him.

Koryak debuted in the 1994 Aquaman series. (Note: I'm not sure what his last name is - his mother's is never mentioned, and even though I sometimes tag him as "Koryak Curry," I don't think he would use Arthur's last name, especially since even Arthur didn't use that name very much at the time.)

As I've mentioned before, Arthur has had a lot of different origins, but in the post-Crisis era, which the only era Koryak appeared in, Arthur's mother was the queen of Atlantis, and his father was Atlan, an ancient Atlantean sorcerer who impregnated her in a dream. Arthur was abandoned at birth because of the infidelity/his blond hair, was raised by dolphins (yes), and briefly lived with a human man named Arthur Curry who taught him English and gave him a human name to borrow.

Then Arthur - still a teenager at this point - went to Alaska, where he immediately rescued a teenage girl named Kako from a polar bear. Kako and her family took Arthur in in gratitude, and he and Kako fell in love. (Kako's family is sometimes said to be Inuit, sometimes Inupiat.)

Anyway, Arthur and Kako lose their virginities to each other. IN THE SNOW, FOR SOME REASON:

This is such an infuriating racist, sexist trope (the WOC with the broken English throws herself at the white hero, logic be damned - why isn't she wearing anything under her coat??? - but of course she will never be his wife, or anything more than a footnote in his story).

Immediately after this, tragedy strikes Kako's family, Arthur is blamed (it's not his fault), and he's thrown out. He returns to the ocean, and eventually goes on to become Aquaman, king of Atlantis, etc.

Years later, he returns to Alaska for plot reasons not worth going into, and that's when he meets Koryak, THE MOST NINETIES BOY OF ALL:

The shirtlessness, the swords, the hair! Truly a man of his era. (Boy? I always assumed he was about 18 here, but a Secret Files issue claims he was 16.)

Koryak is not Arthur's biggest fan, but after Kako turns into a fire elemental because this is the DCU and these things happen, Koryak decides to go to Atlantis with Arthur. Or, well, technically the city was called Poseidonis at the time, which will be important later.

Anyway, the Poseidonians are a little wary of a stranger at first, until Koryak saves a child's life and suddenly they love him. Koryak, who didn't really fit in in Alaska, is basking under the attention, but it doesn't go over well with the current king, Thesily (Arthur had stepped down a while back for Reasons), who is wildly jealous of Arthur, and fears Arthur is looking to take his throne back and now comes complete with heir.

So Thesily leads Koryak into a side room and tries to stab him to death. Luckily, a sudden earthquake causes a pillar to topple over and trap Thesily. Koryak gloats and leaves him to die. What a brat! I adore him!

The earthquakes aren't stopping, and the people of Poseidonis want to flee. Arthur tells them not to because a prophecy said they should stay, but Koryak leads the Poseidonians out of the city and to their sister city, Tritonis, which is where the merpeople live. There, the Poseidonians immediately proceed to be huge assholes to the Tritonians, using up their resources and being racist to them. (Introducing Koryak, an indigenous man and literally the only character of color underwater at this point in time, and having him lead a bunch of racist colonizers was...maybe not Peter David's best choice.)

Anyway, Koryak decides to open up some forbidden tunnels because he feels like it, and they turn out to be forbidden because they were imprisoning Kordax, Arthur and Koryak's evil immortal blond lizard man ancestor. Naturally.

Arthur rolls up with his crew (his girlfriend, his dad, and Garth) and Koryak and Garth throw down. It doesn't go well for Koryak:

I LAUGH EVERY TIME.

Anyway, Arthur's side wins, Kordax is killed, the Tritonians are freed, and Arthur decides that to make it up to them, the Poseidonians are going to serve them as slaves indefinitely. That...seems like compounding human rights violations on top of human rights violations, but okay. Anyway Koryak volunteers to stay and serve the Tritonians as well, because he feels guilty about what he's done.

...for a little while. Then he gets bored and decides they should leave. The king of Tritonis is like "Says who?" and Garth shows up out of nowhere and is like "Says me" and the king's like "Oh shit, okay" and lets them go, leaving Koryak both grateful and resentful towards Garth. I am eating this up with a SPOON btw.

Koryak returns to Tritonis, where he immediately falls back into old habits of resenting his father. Vulko, an advisor of Arthur's who is currently mad at him, sees this and decides to use it as an opportunity to overthrow Arthur:

(The scar across his nose is from Kordax. Later artists forgot it and I wish they hadn't.)

Vulko and Koryak plot for like...a really long time without anything coming of it. Arthur knows perfectly well that it's happening but doesn't do anything about it, even though he could put a stop to it by simply, like...showing Koryak five minutes of positive attention, ever, in his life. Because it's really, really obvious that Koryak just needs positive reinforcement, and would be fully Team Arthur if Arthur would just give him a reason - at one point when Arthur briefly dies (he gets better), Koryak is willing to die to try to avenge him and save Garth and Dolphin from torture. He's not all bad! He's just drawn that way!

Anyway, Arthur comes back to life and Poseidonis decides to make him king again. Just as he's about to be crowned, GARTH tries to overthrow him and steal the throne - but that's just because Garth has been holding Arthur's magic trident and was possessed by him. Arthur overpowers him, and then tells him that he's not mad and in fact, he's proud of Garth for holding out as long as he did.

Then Koryak tries his hand:

And like...yes, Garth only tried to steal the throne because he was possessed and Koryak did it willingly, but Koryak also tried to help Arthur when Garth went rogue. Again, it is so, so clear that Koryak's loyalty was Arthur's for the asking, but Arthur never asked. Instead, he praised Garth for trying to overthrow him and then told Koryak to his face how much he sucked.

Arthur is at least merciful enough to commute the normal sentence for treason from death to banishment, and Koryak is kicked out of Atlantis. Arthur then literally never thinks about him for the next SEVEN YEARS. (Okay, Koryak shows up very briefly for three issues in 1999 and Arthur thinks about him while he's looking directly at him, and then forgets he exists again. But then, Arthur also repeatedly forgets about his own wife. Arthur is terrible.)

Anyway, seven years later, Arthur has also been banished from Atlantis, and is now living in Sub Diego, which is what happens when half of San Diego inexplicably falls into the ocean and a small percentage of the traumatized people discover they can breathe underwater. Koryak, meanwhile, has returned to Atlantis to fight with Garth some more:

Love this for them!

Koryak, btw, is arguing that the survivors of Sub Diego should be allowed to move to Atlantis, and Garth's like "Uhhh they wouldn't fit in" and Koryak's like "Wow, racist." Ahem. In general, Koryak during this period is a lot calmer and more mature than he used to be, and also a lot more willing to forgive Arthur for All the Bullshit:

Also, there's a joke that implies Koryak might be queer?

Literally that's the joke here: Koryak is talking about a guy named Malrey (half-shark, half-cop, and no I am not kidding), and Lorena, who has a crush on Koryak, is clocking that she may not have a chance. I don't know if this was just a throwaway gay joke, which happened all the time in 2005, or if it was going somewhere, but we'll never know. (For the record, even though Garth says Koryak has a crush on Lorena, that doesn't appear to be true, especially since Lorena is underage and Koryak is definitely an adult by now. I don't think we should take Garth's line there as anything but dismissive of Koryak's outreach to the Sub Diegoans. Also, back in the 90s, Koryak definitely had a crush on a minor character called Deep Blue, a.k.a. Debbie Perkins, but that never went anywhere, which is good because SHE WAS ARTHUR'S HALF-SISTER. (She and Arthur made out a bunch before they knew, because Arthur loves kissing girls his sons have crushes on. YIKES ALL AROUND.) (Also just kidding, Arthur doesn't pay enough attention to any of his kids to know who they have crushes on.))

Anyway. Back to the plot. Mera is very sick because of Evil Magic, and Garth decides to perform a massive spell to save her, and Koryak agrees to help. This spell attracts the attention of the Spectre, who was evil at the time, and he, uh...destroys Atlantis, killing Koryak, Garth, and almost everyone else. Arthur finally acknowledges that he was a shitty dad:

Immediately after this issue, the book's title changed from Aquaman to Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis. The main character is not the Arthur we know, but a new, younger Arthur, Arthur Joseph Curry, who turns out to be a cousin of our Arthur. His mentor is a guy called the Dweller in the Depths, who has a tentacle face like Davey Jones from the Pirates movies. It is eventually revealed that the Dweller is actually Regular Arthur, with traumatic amnesia. Why? Why does he have a tentacle face now? NEVER EXPLAINED.

Anyway, we also meet this guy:

Narwhal's character design is...suggestive, let's say? Also suggestive: Garth has also turned up alive, and like "Narwhal," he now has albinism and partial amnesia. And Narwhal knows the name "Orin," though he can't place it. (It's Arthur's Atlantean name.)

Anyway, Narwhal is sent to kill this "Orin":

Narwhal kills Arthur/Orin/the Dweller, but it doesn't bring him peace, because he still doesn't know who he is - and Orin did, at the last minute. He goes to Atlantis for answers, and Mera confirms it, at least for the reader:

...and that's the last issue of Sword of Atlantis. WOMP WOMP. All of the Aquaman characters disappeared until Blackest Night (when Arthur returned). Koryak never appeared again, and was retconned out with the New 52. Oh well, at least the narwhal tusk spear is pretty dope.

As of Infinite Frontier, the pre-52 universe has been pretty much restored, which should mean that Koryak is back in continuity...but DC is still keeping Arthur's New 52/Rebirth origin intact, which means he did not spend any of his teenage years in Alaska, which means Koryak was never conceived. So things could go either way - any writer who feels like bringing him back could do so easily, but they don't have to.

I call Koryak "my terrible boy" a lot, and he's undeniably pretty obnoxious: immature, bratty, petty, unforgiving, and, uh...awfully on board with murder, let's say? He is also extremely young when we first meet him, and is instantly slammed with trauma: his mother essentially dies, someone tries to murder him, he's physically and mentally violated by Kordax. I'll say again that the slightest bit of positive attention from Arthur probably could have changed his entire life, but he never got it. SO HE'S GONNA GET IT FROM ME INSTEAD.

Anyway, I love Koryak very, very much, and have already written fic about him. And I have another Koryak fic in the works for after The Lost Titans is published. And I will never stop whining at DC to bring him back. If Koryak has one fan (he does), it's me. But maybe now it's you, too?

[cafeinthemoon]

King - Chapter VI

Chapter 6

Wordcount 5,6k

Title A Kingdom of Women

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 🖤

Warnings: Mentions of unwanted pregnancies; multiple pregnancies; basically, Poseidon is not a good man

Tagging @cloveradora @the-dumber-scaramouche @mikkies @sl33py-zer0 @nooneknows8976 (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: Wow, finally a new chapter for this story! Even I find it hard to believe lol As pointed out by a reader in the comments, this story demands a lot of effort, and one of the reasons is obviously the chapters' lenght. This time, it's longer than all the others, as a compensation for the lack of updates. Tbh many things happened in the last weeks that kept me away from my works, but I don't want to discuss them here. It's not worthy.

Here are some hints about this chapter:

I tried to make Poseidon's character closer to his mythological version, which includes his relations with women. Though he doesn't make a proper appearance in this one, his presence is felt in each event, each sentence. He's the main subject of the conversations, whether in a positive or negative way. I love when this kind of stuff is included in stories to emphasize the importance of a character, and I hope I managed to do it right :)

Here we will have the first solid (or not) info about Amphitrite. I like Amphitrite's figure, and I will turn her into an important part of the structure here.

Of course, the selkie's skin is in her husband's possession. The thing with selkies' skin doesn't sit right to me, and I used this concept to create another source of tension for this story.

Finally, I'm sorry for the big delay and I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)

Yes, you have to stay vigilant, but no one can do this forever. Even the strongest can get exhausted. So, you need to relax. The thing is that you must learn when and where – and with who – you will allow yourself to rest. This can be scary in the beginning, and you will feel the most terrifying loneliness, but experience will come, and you will find balance.

Remember: your home is where your friends are.

When you were sent back to the lodge, the only things you wanted were a bit of silence and a moment by yourself, so you could process the events of the last day, your new position as a married woman and the task that was now in your hands: how would you manage to do something that only the most experienced masters were able to do, you who were never trained in any form of combat, not even in the use of knives? Yes, you did get your wish of not bearing a child answered, but were you really successful in your negotiations with your husband? You doubted that, and as to keep you in your place, he made sure you didn’t think you were.

Well, contrary to your wishes, once you stepped into the room and were left there by the servant (the same who took you to the ceremony’s preparations), you were barely allowed to readjust in it, because Alyssa was just too excited to see you again: ignoring your requests for her to be careful, she left her spot at the window and almost ran toward you when the door was opened, her hands around her belly as to protect the baby from her own recklessness.

– Y/n?! Y/n! Is that really you?!

You sighed in relief when she stopped in front of you with no troubles, but didn’t have time to think of this because the girl wrapped her arms around you and gave you the tightest hug that her condition allowed her.

– You’re finally back! – her voice was a rushed whisper – You should have been sent back yesterday, so when the night passed with no sign of you, I feared that something might have happened to you! But I’m glad you’re okay…

Though you were touched by those words, you preferred not try to wonder what Alyssa had in mind.

– Thank you – you moved away to look into her eyes – He decided to keep me with him for the entire night, so I had no choice. I’m sorry for causing you such anxiety.

You went to sit with her on your bed.

– So, yes, I’m back, but I don’t think okay is the best word to describe myself right now.

The girl frowned.

– No? How so?

You stood in silence for a moment, trying to find the appropriate way to turn your thoughts into words... And, when you did, was solely to provoke in your friend a laughing crisis.

– So… – you started – You told me that many things could happen once I found myself in Poseidon-sama’s presence… But why didn’t you tell me that this included being carried around like a bag of potatoes?

The sound of Alyssa’s laughter filled the enormous room before you could even finish the word potatoes. Her body trembled as she fought to control it, covering her mouth and closing her eyes tight, tears rolling through her hands. At first, you showed impatience – after all, being laughed at by a god by what he saw as fragility was a serious matter to you – but her reaction was so genuine that you just couldn’t stay mad.

– Alyssa, that’s not funny, okay? I didn’t enjoy being treated like that! It was humiliating and I just want to forget it!

– A bag of potatoes! Just imagine the Lord of the Seas carrying one! I can’t!

– Stop it! – you yelled, laughing too.

She took a deep breath and, then, was finally able to speak normally again.

– I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help it! I was so worried about you and then, when you finally come back, this is the first thing you have to say? – she raised her hands in rendition – It’s just too hilarious!

You rolled your eyes.

– I wish I could see things that way.

Calming down, Alyssa gave you another reason for her attitude.

– Well, actually, it’s not just funny. I’m also surprised that he did this to you as well.

Now, you were the surprised one.

– What do you mean?

– When I was brought to the altar, I was wearing a transparent dress, so the first thing that Poseidon-sama noticed was the size of my legs – the girl explained – He didn’t say anything about them, but his disappointment filled the space between us. When he grabbed my hand and took me to the chambers where our wedding would be consummated, he made a comment about me being too slow and started carrying me on his shoulder – and, as if deliberating with herself, – But you’re a bit taller than me, you know? You must be able to walk faster… – she shrugged – Well, I guess this isn’t enough for him as well… – turning back to you, she suddenly changed the subject – But what about the wedding? The first time you saw him? What did you think? How did it feel like? Tell me everything!

Your cheeks got warm when you recalled the wedding night. You still had mixed feelings about it, so that you weren’t cheering for all that happened, at the same time that you weren’t really sad. But since you were still trying to digest such feelings, you sensed that this wasn’t the time to discuss them; Alyssa could be an understanding friend in case you did it, but you wouldn’t overwhelm her when she was so content for having you back.

– Well, I… Since our family was never devoted to any god, I had no idea of what to expect – you started – I just thought that Poseidon-sama would be similar to the statues we use to see in the temples’ entries and the public spaces. So I was really surprised when I finally saw him – you lowered your tone – He’s beautiful… And with a beauty that’s simply impossible for any human!

– I know – Alyssa commented – He firmly believes that gods are the ultimate bearers of perfection, so he does anything to embody this idea.

You chuckled.

– And I have to say it works in his case. Still, there are some unsettling things about him, such as, when you only take his appearance into account, you might think he’s around our age, but when you look into his eyes, this illusion disappears, and he looks older than everyone, anything you know… – a shiver appeared on your neck and went down your back while you remembered the god’s eyes – Older and terrifying.

Alyssa had an explanation for this.

– He’s one of the eldest deities from Greece, and was chosen to rule over the Domain of the Seas before the mythological ages. Water is a primordial element from all known worlds, including ours, you know? It’s only appropriate.

– Makes sense.

– Besides… you probably noticed that he’s not exactly a mild-tempered man – she lowered her voice, as if afraid of being heard by anyone beyond you.

You remembered the quake on the day you arrived and could only agree.

– This is why I was so worried for you, y/n – Alyssa continued – You’re just so lucky that he didn’t find any reasons to be displeased with you…

You bit your lip.

– Well… maybe he already did.

Your friend opened her mouth and closed it again, and you felt her fear and preoccupation in that small gesture. She asked what were you talking about.

– When Poseidon-sama took me to the chambers where we would have our wedding night, I made him a request – you swallowed – I asked him not to impregnate me.

Alyssa needed to make a superhuman effort to not scream when she heard that.

– You what?! But, how did you…?! – she shook her head – Do you have any idea of what it means to ask such thing from a god? Even more Poseidon-sama?

You let out an impatient sigh.

– I didn’t want to come here and I didn’t want to get married! You already know that – and, calming down a bit, – Not bearing a child was the last hint of freedom I could think of maintaining in this place, so I risked everything I still had (which wasn’t that much) in a deal with him. I’m a merchant, don’t you remember? – you shrugged – This preservation instinct... it runs in our blood.

The other girl frowned, still not believing that you indeed negotiated with Poseidon.

– Well, can you tell me the whole story, then?

– Of course.

And for the next minutes you recalled the events of that night, as well as the mission you received from your husband that morning, moments before he sent you back to the lodge, not hiding anything – except the nickname he gave you. Alyssa listened to each word carefully, not making a single interruption, but the sudden changes in her expression as the story followed revealed everything you needed to know about her feelings towards it.

In the end, by the fact that you returned to the room and the consistence of your narration, she was convinced that the god answered your plead; besides, she remembered seeing a small table close to the bed with a bottle upon it, both similar to the objects you described, and it was easy to imagine that there was a contraceptive fluid inside it.

However, she didn’t think her husband agreed with this deal as if moved by anything that resembled mercy, and she said that to you.

– By what I could see from him, I agree with you – was your reply – The nature of this mission is a proof itself.

Your friend let a hesitant “hm” escape.

– Yes, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about…

– How so?

She gave you a worried gaze.

– I guess I didn’t tell you everything you need to know about being married with the god of the Seas – she moved upon the bed in discomfort – Look… Having children with desirable traits is not the only reason why Poseidon-sama has so many wives. The fact that most of us conceive in our first time with him makes us… unavailable for quite some time, to start with. There are other factors that might separate him from us, such as sickness and recovering periods between one pregnancy and the next, as well as when his presence is requested out of his domains, mostly in councils at Valhalla, which forces him to stay away for weeks, sometimes for months. For all of this, it’s convenient for him that some his wives are infertile or ask him to not have babies.

You frowned. So, there were women who were unable to bear children among you, and that wasn’t a problem for him? And you weren’t the first to make him that type of request? Well, now that you thought about it, it was only logical that you wouldn’t be: Poseidon has been taking wives for centuries, and you couldn’t suppose that all of them were willing to become mothers.

Besides...

– So, you’re telling me that if I’m not having a baby anytime soon, it means that he will…

It was unnecessary to finish the sentence. Alyssa gave you a silent nod. It was now more than clear that your request wasn’t the most clever decision from your part, something that you could have avoided if you were familiar with gods and their whims.

So, he’s this kind of man, then? Honestly, this side of him was clear for all the time we were together.

Still, you had some counterpoints.

– Alyssa, if I’m not the first to make this type of proposal to him, why did you react that way?

– First, because of your courage, perhaps increased by the fact that you know little about gods. Second, because I could never suppose that he would say yes to such proposal coming from a human – she put her hand under her chin, deliberating – He might have had something in mind… Something that we can’t figure out for now…

– Yes, I see, but there are other things that I can’t ignore. For example, what about Amphitrite-sama? She’s a goddess and his first wife. She is above us. I don’t see why he would chase after us when she’s there for him.

The look your friend gave you told you that you were, for one more time, wrong.

– Maybe it’s time for you to know about Amphitrite-sama, y/n.

Alyssa told you that what existed between Poseidon and Amphitrite was a marriage of convenience: she was the daughter of ancient sea deities, who inhabited those lands long before Poseidon’s arrival, and who offered her hand in exchange of their permanence in them; Poseidon accepted the offer as a way to reassure his dominance over the seas, and it has been like this since then. At first, they even tried to live as a normal couple, but it didn’t take long for both to realize it wouldn’t work, so that today they were just two people who shared the same house, and were more like professional partners then husband and wife.

– Amphitrite-sama’s personal life is a mystery to all of us – Alyssa explained – She’s rarely spotted by any of the other wives, and talking to her is almost impossible for us. Only Poseidon-sama, Proteus-sama and the servants are in touch with her routine and habits. We don’t even know exactly her feelings and thoughts towards us: some of the girls believe she hates us, this being the reason why we don’t see her often, but others think she actually cares for us, because she was the first to know the god of the seas as a man, so she’s aware of what is like to be in our place. I’ve never seen her myself, and I’m not sure of what to think, but I think she uses to spend her time out of here, maybe with her family, friends or a lover. I suppose we will never know.

You, from your part, were sure that enduring days and nights beside a man like the Tyrant of the Seas and being forced to accept the presence of thousands of other women in her own house must have been anything but easy. You were able to feel compassion for the goddess, but tried not to think too much about it.

What really interested you about Amphitrite, to be honest, had nothing to do with her private life or marriage.

– I’d understand if she chose to live her life that way. I suppose I myself would do the same if I was in her place – you commented – But, about her role as the Queen of the Seas... how exactly does it work? What are the signs of her presence here?

About this, Alyssa had some words, but they sounded as mysterious as all the rest.

– As far as I know, she shares the administrative matters with her husband, though he’s the one who has the final word in every question – a strange glimmer appeared in her eyes – But I’ve heard some stories that said that she is the real responsible for the maintenance of the palace’s structure, which includes its physical premises, the organization of the staff and their daily routine… and even us.

– What? – you frowned.

– About this, I have my doubts – your friend shrugged – But some say that most of the servants answer directly to her, and that even Proteus-sama fears her. Besides, there are rumors that she has already helped women and their children to leave her husband’s domain forever, as a way to favor the ones who have suffered and to maintain the order, given that the number of women would always vary like this.

– I see.

– Well, whether these stories are true or not, Amphitrite-sama is the Queen of this place, and we should be careful if we ever have to deal with her.

***

During the period that preceded your wedding, you received all your meals inside the lodge by the same hours everyday: since you still haven’t been touched by Poseidon neither you were given the pair of earrings that identified his wives, you still haven’t the right to join the other women in the great hall for breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Alyssa had the said right, but due to the aching that her swollen feet provoked in case she insisted on the long walk to the hall, as well as to make you company, she preferred to eat in the room, where you had a small table prepared for this.

However, now that you were married and were free from physical restrictions, you no longer had reasons to keep yourself separated from the others, so right in the day after you were sent back, a servant came to lead you to have your first lunch in the hall.

Even though you were expecting for this, your heart jumped inside your chest with the perspective of entering a large place full of people who you didn’t know and who weren’t exactly receptive to your kind. You thought of asking your friend to come with you, but didn’t have the courage to do so: you would have to learn to survive there sooner or later, without bringing discomfort to anyone. But, without you expecting it, she offered herself to accompany you.

The servant raised an eyebrow at her.

– Are you really in conditions of walking to the great hall?

– I am – Alyssa replied with all the confidence – Besides, this is an important moment for my friend, and I want to be there with her.

The servant looked from her to you, then back to her, but didn’t argue. They asked both of you to follow them and closed the room’s door as you walked out of it.

***

The servant pushed the pair of golden doors before you with little effort, but they obeyed immediately, revealing the great hall in its full glory.

Just like you imagined, it was similar to other places you’ve been at, in a sense that it carried cleanliness, organization and luxury as its pillars, making it as beautiful as those other premises, with walls decorated with marine concepts, columns of white marble, large tables of noble woods and objects coated in gold – and it was as full as the center of a human city in a market day.

To anywhere you looked, you saw a mixture of colors, shapes and sounds created by priestesses of the Northern Waters, selkies, naiads and other kinds of nymphs, mermaids who were able to change their scales and walk with legs, and many other women from different regions of the known worlds, all of them wearing pearls like yours. Some would proudly exhibit the jewels as if they were the meaning of their lives, but others seemed to have forgotten about their presence on their bodies, just like the pearls became part of them; in fact, some didn’t wear them as proper earrings: there were girls who you guessed to be from the depths of the seas, having delicate, translucent fins instead of ears, and the pearls were pierced on their upper sides; others didn’t have visible auricular organs at all, so the pearls were on their heads, necks and, in some cases, on each side of their hairless faces, where their eyebrows would be.

The majority of the women, which bodies were of humanoid shapes, had their pregnancies evident, with rounded bellies covered in loosen dresses, like to the one you were wearing right now, but others seemed to be just like you, with no protuberance to indicate the presence of a child inside them; and there were some who, despite resembling the human form, were carrying baskets on the fold of their arms in order to transport eggs, and those eggs were from different numbers and appearances. You didn’t see children at that place, and this corroborated with what Alyssa told about them being taken from their mothers after the period of essential activities between them, such as breastfeeding.

Indeed, the scene was strange and beautiful, so much that if you didn’t know what kind of place you were at, you could be led to believe that you were in a kingdom of women.

As you walked through the main corridor, having the long tables at both sides, you recognized some of the girls who traveled with you, but most of them you were seeing for the first time. From their part, the reactions were similar to what you saw when you entered the carriage: at each step you took, the looks of curiosity, suspicion, disdain and explicit discontentment for the presence of, not only one, but two human beings in that sacred house burned your skin and made your heart beat faster.

You glanced at Alyssa and noticed her nervousness.

– Are you alright? – you whispered.

– Yes – she mumbled back, with her hands on her belly – It’s just that I’m no longer used to the distance between our room and this place.

– I see – you looked ahead, and spotted the space where you were supposed to take your food – Let’s get something for us and find a calmer spot to sit at.

You stopped in front of the large pans and the mixed scent of spices, seeds and meat invaded your nostrils alongside the steam. Everything seemed tasty, though you could barely recognize the foods. Unlike the things offered to you at the lodge – everything specially selected for your species – the foods were all mixed there, so Alyssa instructed you while you filled your plate, indicating what would be accepted by your body and what you were better stay away from. In the end, you managed to get a good combination of exotic seafood and typical spices from Midgard, and went to one of the tables.

***

The meal was excellent, and you were content for finding a good spot to sit despite the crowd around you. In order to not gather unwanted attention (at least not more than you already received), you avoided talking while you were there, unless it was strictly necessary. You were careful not to make a mess, and cleaned after ourselves before leaving the table.

To be honest, the hall wasn’t as noisy as you expected: it was more like a party were only the rich attended, with a display of good manners, elegance and the sound of soft voices spreading across the air. You never enjoyed being at that type of event while you lived with your father, but you knew how to behave, using your ears more than your eyes, pretending to be absorbed in your current task and only looking around a few times to make sure you became part of the landscape.

Still, a human who has entered the hall for the first time couldn’t be as invisible as she wished, and you noticed the occasional looks from the people near you. There was a woman in special, who were sitting on the opposite side of your table, three seats away from Alyssa, who wouldn’t take her eyes off you, even when you stared her back; she resembled a human girl in everything, from her brown, wavy hair to her olive skin, the only exception being the aspect of her eyes, bigger, in the slight shape of almonds, with their outer corners turned up. Alyssa noticed her looks and, moving her lips without letting her voice out, she identified her one word.

Selkie.

You’ve never seen an individual from that people before, but you’ve heard stories about some who has been living among humans since the old times; the relations between the two species were never easy, so that you wouldn’t be surprised if that one tried to bring this old feud to the depths of the sea. You already decided to ask about her later, but soon this precaution became unnecessary, for when you stood up and prepared to leave, the sounds of the room were supplanted by a clear, real voice.

– Another human being among us in so little time? Interesting. It seems that our beloved husband is planning to bring change to the family. For reasons only known by himself.

Your eyes turned automatically to the selkie’s direction, and you saw she was already looking at you, now on her feet. You noticed her swollen belly under a tunic of an opaque fabric that resembled a seal skin. The table was silent as the other women stared at you, some unsettled by those words, others eager to hear your reply.

Alyssa grabbed her plate and was going to walk around the table to reach your side, but you saw the look in her eyes, a quiet plead for you to not listen to the provocations, but you were just tired of that and decided to ignore the advice.

– If you’re going to say that I don’t belong to this kingdom and I have no right to be here – you took your plate from the table – Save your words, because I myself agree with you.

The selkie frowned: whatever she wanted to hear from you, it wasn’t those words.

– What?

You sighed.

– Do you really think one would choose to live in a place where their people are not welcome? – you looked around – Would someone here do something like that?

The woman bit her lip, but kept her composure.

– Whether you chose to come here or not, it’s good that you’re aware of this. You must be a careful girl.

You shrugged.

– Most of the times.

Alyssa, who finally stopped by your side, intervened.

– We’re not seeking for trouble, Melian – she spoke to the selkie – There’s no need for this conversation to carry on.

The other displayed a smile full of sharp, small teeth at your friend, but there was no sign of sympathy on her gaze.

– Why not? We’re having so much fun with it!

You spoke to bring her attention back to you.

– So, is there something you want to ask, or am I allow to leave? – you glanced at Alyssa – I need to take her back to her room.

Melian raised an eyebrow, as if thinking of a new provocation. But, as it uses to happen with people who are used to such things, she didn’t need much time to find one.

– You’re so worried about your human friend, but what about yourself? – and, inclining her head to the side in fake worry, – Don’t you need special care too?

– What?

– Oh, you’re pregnant, aren’t you? – Melian pointed at your ears – I can see you’ve already been with him, but were you able to do your part, or are you just like her, who needed a second trial to do the only thing she’s supposed to be good at?

Alyssa lowered her eyes, but said anything. You gritted your teeth: you could stand people talking at your back and despising you, but doing this with a friend was a different story.

You decided to speak out the truth and see what was going to happen.

– No, I’m not carrying a child and, heaven forbid, I will never do it!

A wave of shocked whispers spread among the girls.

“Is she unable to conceive?”

“Poseidon-sama didn’t touch her? Why did he bring her here, then?”

“Maybe he did touch her, but she didn’t get pregnant!”

“What if she refused to give him children? Can you imagine that?”

“Nonsense! Saying no to a god, and your husband? She could never...”

“If this was the case, she would certainly be punished, but she’s here, safe and sound!”

– Don’t listen to them – Alyssa whispered – They have nothing to do with this.

Melian, whose surprise hasn’t been completely hidden, still had some words for you.

– Is this some sort of punishment he gave you, or are you cursed? Why do you speak of your condition in such a cheerful manner?

– Because, to me, it’s a reason to cheer at – the firmness of your words silenced the whispers and made her swallow – When I was taken to my wedding night, I pleaded to our husband, asking him not to give me children… and he listened to me. I am able to conceive, but I didn’t wish to, so I begged him and got my request answered.

The air was heavy with that revelation. How dare you – was the question in each of the faces turned to you.

– I don’t believe you – Melian spoke between her teeth – If you did something like this, you should be dead.

– Yet, here I am – you hit back – Alive and not pregnant. What are you going to do about it?

The selkie gasped. Alyssa held your arm, as if begging you to leave the hall.

It was when a calm contralto voice raised in the room, and everyone turned to its direction.

– Melian, won’t you stop pestering the girl just because she did the very thing you wanted to do, but had no courage to?

The voice belonged to a woman with blue skin and fins on each side of her head, who was sitting on the same side of the table as Melian and somehow looked older than the women around her. You noticed that she was the only one who hasn’t raised her head to see the argument, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t paying attention. You found it curious that, despite not having a prominent belly, her chair was positioned at a certain distance from the table.

The selkie turned to her, with a gaze that carried more nervousness than exasperation.

– Suriah, don’t start with your...

– Don’t you know our husband detests these kind of behavior? – the woman, Suriah, interrupted, unaffected – Besides, meal times are supposed to be pleasing, not a source of distress.

Melian’s skin turned pale with those words, less because of fear of the older wife than because of a non disguised anger.

The woman sighed and finally looked at you.

– You’re not just an inexperienced wife, as far as I can see, human – she started – You also know little about dealing with gods, don’t you?

You swallowed. You remembered that Poseidon himself said something similar to you.

– You could say that.

Suriah laughed.

– It’s pretty obvious, judging by the fact that you didn’t just plead to him… – she raised the spot on her face where there would be an eyebrow if she had hair – You tried to negotiate with him, didn’t you?

You gasped. How did she know?

– This type of thing might work among your people, but with gods, specially with someone like Poseidon-sama, things are quite different – she explained – He might have conceded you the favor you wanted, but what he asked from you in return… I suppose it made you shiver.

You didn’t reply.

– You don’t need to be so shy about it – she assured you – There are others like you around here, and they know what it’s like to be in such position. Our husband indeed loves us, but he doesn’t get along with rebel women. In this sense, Melian is in a better place than you.

Melian, who was still in silence, lowered her eyes at those words.

You, from your part, wanted to leave that place and forget about this unsettling conversation at first, but your curiosity, as well as the fact that you needed to gather information, overcame this urge, and you stood there.

– Suriah, right? – she nodded positively at your question – You seem to have experience in matters with gods. Can you tell me more?

Suriah seemed satisfied with your request.

– Of course I can, and I’m going to make things easier for you to understand by telling my own story. When I first came here, I knew the basics about my future husband and the life that awaited me, yet I think that if I knew more, I would never get into this situation – she sighed – Just like you, I wasn’t willing to carry children, so I begged for his favor, he gave it to me… But with a price.

You sensed a tension spreading among the women when the word price reached their ears. Suriah ignored this and carried on with the story.

– There’s a certain game, very popular among the gods, which I won’t bother to describe to you. I should learn the rules in one week and play one time with a subordinate of Proteus-sama, who’s a master at it. The result would determine if my request would be answered: if I won, I wouldn’t be impregnated that year; otherwise, I would have a child for each mistake during the game… every year.

You gasped.

– Every year? – your voice trembled – How is this possible?

Suriah chuckled, not refusing an explanation.

– The physiology of my people is such that allows us to endure multiple pregnancies. If I make love once, I will have one child. If it happens more times, consecutively, I will have the equivalent number of children. This is precisely what I bargained with Poseidon-sama: no child, or the number of my mistakes. And I lost.

You swallowed, but found the courage to ask what you had in mind.

– And how many mistakes you made?

The woman revealed the reason why her chair was distant from the table: she had a basket with lilac eggs on her lap. An unsettling wave of whispers spread among the girls when she raised the basket, and Melian slowly sat down. You couldn’t take your eyes off the basket’s interior, but found yourself unable to count the eggs: you only knew that they were many.

Answering the question you didn’t make, Suriah spoke:

– There are fifteen eggs here – she looked at them with affection – Fifteen beautiful children waiting to be born. Just as there were fifteen of them last year, and there will be in the next one.

Chapter 7

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

So im not gonna tag any one in this because idk it feels awkward tagging people to come view this fic cause it’s so brutal buuut WHO WANTS SOME COOPER ANGST?? lol/not really, anyways under cut as always

Summary:

Left over magic from the Nightmare King brings rise to the Red Moon leading to the left over corruption in Night Hunter’s system to act up and so he decides to go after Cooper

Or

Basic white boy one beats up basic white boy two and tells him he sucks or smth

Additional Tags:

Other characters are mentioned slash there very briefly. Cooper (LEGO Dreamzzz) angst. Hurt No Comfort. graphic descriptions of violence but no blood/gore, Cooper gets beat up. Night Hunter Being an asshole. Corruption. Cooper being a little shit. I am the soul dealer of content related to this duo and it shows. No beta we die like Cooper’s feelings. Night Hunter is in his Six Eared Macaque era. Night Hunter calls out Cooper’s insecurities and uses them to bully him. Character Study (?), Don’t quote me on that, I Don't Even Know, author is running on limited sleep. Nightmare King is haunting the narrative even to this day. Angst, this is lowkey brutal imo. Swearing

Castle Nocturina’s halls were empty, strikingly contrasting how one would usually find it as of late; crawling with dreamlings and dream chasers from across the globe, sounds of all kinds echoing. Tonight was different however, its residents were either hiding or they happened to be outside marveling at the never before seen Red Moon that cast demonic light into the Castle through its windows. Either way everyone was unaware of the lone soul that snaked down the halls, his mind clouded with red. 

Beau didn’t want to be there, no not really, but as the Red Moon crept through the dream sky and filled everything it cast its light on with a deep feeling of unease he could feel his mind continue to slip. 

He should’ve expected it if he was being honest, he should have prepared better. Put some sort of safe guard up on his landing to be completely safe in an event like this but too little too late did the idea come to him. It was far too late for him to do any of that as by the time he thought of it the Red Moon had already risen and Beau could feel the Nightmare King’s corruption crawling back into his system after being dormant for quite some time. 

If Beau had to guess this “ Red Moon ” must have been tied to some sort of contingency plan the Nightmare King had set up long ago. Something that if the Nightmare King stayed dormant for too long it would rise from wherever the Nightmare King had been keeping it and affect all the things that had once been affected by the King’s corruption. All things of which Beau was unfortunately a part of. 

As much as Beau tried to fight against what his rising corruption was forcing him to do by throwing himself against walls when he could or doing what else he could to tire himself out his body kept on going. Additionally much to his dismay his mind seemed to continue to haze over the harder he tried to fight back.

Well he hoped if he came out of this funk with Zoey’s arrow aimed at his chest she could eventually forgive him again. 

His body dragged him up a set of stairs that he recognized as ones that lead up to the sliding glass door entrance to Castle Nocturina’s garden and as he reached the top he found the glorious view of the Red Moon greeting him. Interestingly enough, taking in the moon seemed to help some of the haze in his head fade but he could tell the thoughts starting to form were tainted by the growing corruption. 

The Red Moon was so massive only the top half of it could be seen from the garden, its glowing red surface seemingly grinning a Cheshire cat smile at Night Hunter as his eyes widened to try and properly take it all in. As small figures moved at the edges of his vision Night Hunter felt his gaze being drawn to the dream chasers littering the garden. 

Ah, just who he was looking for. Royce and Oz were amongst the gathered dream chasers but more specifically so was the new Brooklyn Bureau; the two annoying Garcia siblings, the cowardly shapeshifter, his daughter, oh and the blond one who’s whole existence Night Hunter was pretty sure was pointless. 

Night Hunter quietly pushed open the door and slipped outside into the garden where he quickly darted to hide behind a potted topiary cut to look like a teddy bear. 

Now what was he…

Before he could come up with a plan of action to begin to dispel the group of dream chasers gathered outside he noticed what looked like a small dispute arising between Oz and … uhhh, shit what was his name again? 

Oh right, it rhymed with pooper. That was it, Cooper!

Oz and Cooper were seemingly having a disagreement and Night Hunter quickly found his attention drawn towards it. How curious. Any discord between his enemies would be great for him, whether to manipulate or use to get under someone’s skin.  

Granted he was unfortunately a little too far away to hear what they were saying perfectly. 

He watched the two talk, a bit of squabble popping up as Cooper seemed to disagree with whatever Oz was saying which Night Hunter found himself perking up at. 

Wasn’t this the kid that respected authority to the point where it came off as teacher's pet? Where’d he suddenly get a backbone? 

Night Hunter’s excitement was killed in a split second though as Mateo joined the two and rested a hand on Cooper’s shoulder thus cutting off whatever had been bound to happen next. 

Cooper deflated. The conversation continued for a bit longer but eventually Cooper gave a small nod and walked off, crossing his arms grumpily. 

As Oz and Mateo rejoined the rest of the dream chasers, Night Hunter fixed his jaw noting how he had been gritting his teeth. 

A sharp whistle came from Zoey and Zian came flying in from somewhere. Zoey helped Oz and Albert climb aboard where they were joined by Logan. In a similar vein Mateo dream crafted his blob into a strange looking flying machine and hopped onto it with his sister and Royce as the girl who Night Hunter was pretty sure was called Astrid also dream crafted her wheelchair into a large eagle. The three teams then took off into the air towards the Red Moon just as Night Hunter noticed a little late that Cooper had made his way over to the door Night Hunter was hiding beside. Luckily Cooper was very much grumbling at his shoes and had yet to notice Night Hunter. 

Night Hunter stepped back quickly and hid himself more in the shadows. 

“Protect the dreamlings,” Night Hunter heard Cooper grumbling as he reached the door, “can’t believe I don’t get to check out the dream moon.” 

The blond reached out a hand in a way that screamed that he really didn’t want to go back into the Castle alone only to startle slightly as he found the door to be left wide open. 

Ah shit, he’d left it open. 

Night Hunter bit the inside of his mouth angrily, well he supposed that because of his still somewhat hazy mind he was bound to mess up like that at some point. 

Cooper began to glance around, looking on edge, and Night Hunter did his best to hold still in his spot within the shadows. 

Cautiously, Cooper turned back to the door and ducked inside, closing it behind him. 

“Hn,” Night Hunter grunted, easing himself out of the shadows and glancing in the direction the Brooklyn dream chasers had flown off in. They were mostly just small impressions on the horizon at that point, traveling towards the Red Moon at a steady pace. It would take a lot longer than he liked to catch up to them, and not to mention they outnumbered him greatly even if the gathering of other dream chasers down in the garden didn’t notice him take off after them. 

He could set up a trap for them of course. Slowly take out the dream chasers left behind one by one until they were all taken out then wait in turn for the others to return and do a similar thing. Granted that would mean he would have to figure out how to deal with Phil the Castle guardian. 

Never Witch had done it once before though and she hadn’t even had the upper hand of knowing the layout of the Castle so if he could do it right then all of Castle Nocturnia would fall by the end of the night. 

He was just left with one real question however, which dream chaser would he be starting with? 

Night Hunter mused on it for a moment before the perfect answer came to mind; he had already gone inside where he’d no doubt be perfectly alone and primed for an ambush. 

He snuck out from behind the bush and returned to the door where he opened it and slipped inside, this time remembering to close it. 

After a quick look around he found Cooper sullenly leaving that section of the building and entering a hallway that led to another. Without another thought, Night Hunter snuck after the blond as quickly as he could. 

As Night Hunter entered the hallway that Cooper had previously, he ducked down the other hall that led off to the side. He knew the two halls would eventually meet back up so if he was fast enough he could cut Cooper off. 

Much to his luck that’s exactly what happened. As he reached the crossroad that linked the two halls back up he slowed down a little and stuck to the shadows. Soon he heard footsteps echoing up from Cooper as the teen rounded a corner and continued on down the hall passed Night Hunter, to caught up in watching his own feet to notice the other. 

Night Hunter suppressed a smile and exited out of the side hall, “Cooper!!” 

Cooper jumped and turned to take in Night Hunter’s outstretched arms in subtle fear. Upon noticing Night Hunter’s hook hand and darker outfit he took a step back and rested a hand on his hourglass, “What do you want?” He asked, still eyeing the hook hand cautiously.  

“Well we all want a lot of things if I’m being honest,” Night Hunter answered, placing his hands on his waist and leaning forward slightly, “You want to go check out the Red Moon.” 

A guilty look crossed Cooper’s face as he cringed a little. 

Night Hunter noted the boy’s reaction and started to slowly prowl a circle around him while beginning to vocalize a list, “but you also want little Mr what’s his face to fall in love with you. But perhaps you also want…” Night Hunter trailed off, smiling coldly as Cooper’s face scrunched up like he was expecting a physical hit with whatever Night Hunter said next, “some freedom yes? Or hell maybe even those lost tech skills of yours. Would make things sooo much easier wouldn’t it?” 

Night Hunter came to a stop in front of Cooper and fixed the boy with his smile, waiting for a second to see what Cooper would respond with. 

Shakily, Cooper opened his mouth but it quickly snapped shut. 

Oh how curious.

“Getting those back would make you a whole lot less useless, no?” Night Hunter leaned forward and with as much venom as he could, laced his words with it. 

Cooper shrunk into himself and in a weak voice tried to protest, “I’m … I’m not useless,” 

“HA,” Night Hunter barked a laugh, “is that so?” 

Taking a small step back, Night Hunter fixed Cooper with an amused look, “Remind me again what exactly it is that you contribute to the team? Ever since they stopped with all the infighting, they’ve seemed to be getting along just fine without you.” 

Cooper opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to find the words to protest against what Night Hunter was saying as Night Hunter took up inspecting his hook. 

“They-they still need me!” Cooper finally got out but as soon as it passed his lips Cooper seemed to shrink even more into himself. 

Night Hunter snorted, “That so? For what exactly? You’re the tech guy with what tech skills exactly? Honestly if your friends want something fixed they could just go get Albert!”

Cooper shook and with a laugh Night Hunter reached out with his normal hand and gave the blond a sharp shove. Cooper fell down onto his butt and stared up at Night Hunter with fear, only to look away. 

A chuckle tickled at Night Hunter’s throat as Cooper swiped at his face before scrambling to his feet where he hugged himself. 

“Ok I can admit, these are starting to get through, but-but why are you telling me this?” Cooper asked shakily, trailing off as if not wanting to voice what else he was thinking of adding to that sentence, but eventually he continued, “I-I thought we were cool now? What with you being Zoey’s dad and all,” 

Night Hunter scowled, ignoring the small part of him that was agreeing with the teen, “Look kid, I’m taking you all out. Nothing personal,” 

“Really? Because it feels highly personal,” 

Night Hunter growled, and with a flick of his wrist he fear crafted a loaded crossbow, “Yap all you want, Curly, isn’t anything that’s gonna change my mind.”

Cooper’s gaze flicked nervously from the crossbow to the red light streaming in through the windows as he took a small step back. 

“It’s the corruption isn’t it?” 

Night Hunter blinked. Color him surprised. 

Cooper bit his lip and took another small step back before continuing, “I knew the colors of this “moon” or whatever it is looked familiar, it’s some type of Nightmare King’s magic isn’t it? It’s connected to the corruption he’s able to spread and it’s messing with whatever’s left of his corruption in your mind, isn’t it?” 

Night Hunter shot a warning shot at the spot on the floor next to Cooper’s foot. 

Cooper let out a small yelp and scrambled a few feet back. 

“Hey kid, leave the character breakdowns to me, yeah?” Night Hunter hissed while tilting his head to the side to crack his neck. 

A small squeak came from Cooper, “Ah shit, shit, if the corruption is fucking with your head… I’m in big trouble aren’t I?” 

Night Hunter grinned and reloaded his crossbow as he aimed it again, “What was your first clue?” 

Cooper’s eyes widened and just as Night Hunter fired he took off down the hall. 

A laugh shook Night Hunter as his arrow struck the ground, running? Predictable, but they didn’t call him Night Hunter for nothing. 

In record time Night Hunter stowed his crossbow and pulled dream sand from his hourglass so he could fear craft a shadowy lasso. 

He flicked it once and then swung it towards Cooper. 

“RUNNING NOW ARE WE!?” Night Hunter yelled, “Guess that really is all you're good for! Running away and waiting in the wings while your friends go off and have fun without you!”

The lasso extended far past it’s original length and snagged Cooper’s foot as he ran thus succeeding in triping the boy and knocking him to the ground. 

Cooper let out a groan. 

With a harsh yank, Night Hunter pulled on his lasso which caused Cooper to be dragged a number of feet closer to him. 

Lazily, Night Hunter made the walk over to Cooper and arived just as the boy was starting to fiddle with the lasso around his ankle. Night Hunter gave the lasso another flick and yanked Cooper down again hard enough that there was a sharp crack as the teen smashed his chin against the ground. 

Cooper let out a pained whine but it went unheard by Night Hunter as he let out a low chuckle, “You can’t escape me. Hell you can’t even fight me, not with how useless you are.” 

A whimper came from Cooper as the teen reached down to his belt and weakly started to dream craft something. Night Hunter kicked at his hands before anything could form and just for extra messure smashed his boot down onto one of Cooper’s hand’s, pinning it to the floor. 

Cooper let out a pained scream and Night Hunter felt himself being encouraged at this. He wiggled his boot, squishing Cooper’s fingers further as he flicked his lasso thus freeing it from around Cooper’s foot, and dispelled the shadowy rope. 

“AGH!” Cooper yelled out and Night Hunter removed his foot. He moved so that his feet rested next to Cooper’s chest and with a chuckle he kicked Cooper in the gut. 

Cooper let out a grunt and Night Hunter kicked him again. He then grabbed the blond by the back of the shirt, picking him up so that he could more easily punch him in the stomach as well. Cooper choked but Night Hunter wasted no time moving on to his next move. He gripped the cloth of the back of Cooper’s shirt and swung the teen around violently enough that he went crashing, back first, into the nearby wall. 

Cooper crumpled to the ground in a heep. 

Night Hunter watched him, listening to Cooper letting out coughs and grunts as he struggled to get back up. 

Hu, persistent little shit. He forgot about that. 

Night Hunter made his way over just as Cooper managed to struggle to his feet. Cooper shot a weak glare at Night Hunter and then spat a wad of spit onto Night Hunter’s boot. 

“Ugh,” Night Hunter grimaced in disgust at the spit and kneed Cooper in the stomach. 

Cooper let out a grunt and collapsed backwards against the wall but just as Night Hunter went to grab him Cooper held up a hand. 

“Hold on a sec, just… before you kill me,” Cooper grumbled out in pain, “I got somethin’ to show you.” 

Night Hunter grit his teeth but let Cooper continue. 

Cooper looked up at him with pained eyes and then took the hand he was holding up and turned it so he could flip Night Hunter off. 

Night Hunter growled and went to grab his crossbow only for Cooper to throw his other fist with a punch aimed at Night Hunter’s neck. Night Hunter caught the fist by the wirst before it could land and then twisted the arm violently out to the side. 

Cooper cried out in pain as he collapsed to his knees but he wasn’t there for long. Night Hunter grabbed him by the shirt collar and put everything into slamming the teen into the wall behind him. 

Apparently the force was strong enough to crack the wall as the area around Cooper splintered as a small impacted crater sprung up behind the teen. 

“You are nothing, ” Night Hunter bit out, sneering at Cooper as he groaned, “Nothing but some kid that got too wrapped up in his best friend’s fantasies to realize that he’s not a hero.” 

“There’s nothing special about you.” Night Hunter hissed. 

Cooper’s lip trembled as he struggled slightly against Night Hunter’s hold, “No. No my friends-!”

“Your friends don’t need you,” Night Hunter stated bluntly, pulling Cooper forward by the shirt collar just enough so there was room to slam him back again the wall. He then began to repeat this movement to emphasize ever sentence he bit out with his vemon laced words, “hell they don’t even want you, I saw the way they pushed you aside earlier. You’re an after thought to them who brings absolutely nothing to the team. They could just as easily get by without you.” 

Night Hunter kept going, hardly noticing the tears starting to stream down Cooper’s face, “ In fact the only reason you ever mattered to them was because they need to use you for their own gains .” 

Cooper shivered violently as Night Hunter pulled back, whining as he was also pulled along and bracing as Night Hunter yanked him up. Any support Cooper had been getting from the ground vanished as his feet swung forward, out from under him. With a twisted look on his face, Night Hunter pushed Cooper downwards and slammed him against the floor like the teen weighed nothing. 

The floor splintered in likes, same as the wall, and Night Hunter felt Cooper go limp under his hand. 

Too easy. 

Just as easily, Cooper slipped from his grasp as he let go and left the teen lying limpy on the ground. 

A small laugh bubbled up from Night Hunter, and with a breathy sigh proclaimed, “Face it kid, you would’ve been better off staying locked up in one of those Grimkeepers.” 

Night Hunter unhooked his crossbow from its sheath, reloading it with an arrow, and aiming it at Cooper as he mused about where he wanted to sink the arrow into. Cooper shifted a little to which Noght Hunter was surprised, he was sure he would’ve been too hurt at this point to move much. Much to Night Hunter’s disgust the blond still had enough energy to reach over and wrap his hand around the back of his boot. 

Night Hunter growl and planted his free foot onto Cooper’s face to try and push him away but Cooper’s grip only tightened and he gave a tug. Thanks to his bad footing, Night Hunter fell backwards as Cooper pulled his foot out from under him. 

Night Hunter landed with a grunt, bastard. He kicked his unheld foot against Cooper’s face and the teen let go as he was forced back. 

“ How,” Night Hunter growled, “Are you still being an issue,” 

Cooper shakily managed to push himself up onto his hands and knees as he let out a weak laugh. Thought it seemed to pain him enormously, Cooper forced himself to look up at Night Hunter and fixed him with a look full of pain, tear streaked cheeks included, and yet seemingly no hate. 

“I won’t let you hurt my friends,” Cooper wheezed out. 

Night Hunter was tempted to kick him again. 

Just as a response started to brew on Night Hunter’s tounge, he noticed Cooper had reached back to his hourglass and had begun to dream craft something. Night Hunter scrambled forward but Cooper simply slumped over to the side and Night Hunter pounced onto empty floor.

Whirling around as fast as he could manage, Night Hunter turned only to find Cooper lying on his back and holding a godforsaken Edison Bomb in hand. 

Shit. 

The Edison Bomb lit up, gold and red, and before Night Hunter could shut his eyes properly, only managing to look away much to his own dismay, it went off, filling that section of Castle Nocturnia with a blinding light. 

The first thing Night Hunter noticed when the spots cleared from his eyes was that the red light from the Red Moon was starting to die off, along with the hazy feeling in his mind. Whatever had been happening with the moon was starting to be fixed and Night Hunter was left to deal with the consequences of his actions, which weren’t many if he was being honest. 

He rubbed at his eyes to help his vision clear faster and once it had he found Cooper had flopped over on his side. The teen had begun to hug himself, curling up in a fetal ball and tensing, waiting for another thing to hit him. 

Everything else was the same as Beau remembered however, the floor and wall a splintered mess. So it really had been been that bad. His hazy mind had blurred most of the combat and a number of Beau’s fully formed thoughts that should’ve made him hesitate on what he was doing to Cooper. 

His corrupted state had really done a number hadn’t it? 

Beau glanced down at himself and took in his outfit, the corrupted garbs of the Night Hunter, and with a strained sigh used his fear crafting to will away the outfit and replace it with something a little more friendly; a flannel shirt and jeans. He shifted a little awkwardly and then reached out a hand towards Cooper only to stop short, yeah no he definitely wouldn’t appreciate being touched by Beau after being beat up by him. 

Beau drew his hand back and worked on mustering up the words to apologize. Finally they came, “Shit, kid I’m … I’m so sorry,” 

Cooper curled more into himself with a shutter, “Don’t-” he whispered. 

Beau closed his mouth softly and moved so he could sit down harshly on the ground, the weight and energy he had used up during the battle starting to blister up and leave him feeling sore and regretful. 

Beau wasn’t sure how long passed before he heard Cooper speak up, his voice still weak and shattered, “The truth is supposed to hurt right? Don’t apologize for that.” 

A sour feeling rose up in Beau’s throat, he was sure that out of everything said that night that had to have stung the most. 

Damn. 

Beau reached up to massage at his jaw as he tried to think of something encouraging to say but Cooper eventually disintegrated into a flaky glowing yellow dream dust as he awoke before anything else could be said. All that remained of him was the cracked floor and a small puddle of water where Cooper’s head had been resting.  

A frown crossed Beau’s face, he couldn’t blame the boy, he wouldn’t have wanted to stay there either. With that though Beau had been left alone with a guilty feeling started to eat away at his gut like maggots as the proper bright light of the dream world started to flood in through the windows. 

Oh god, Zoey was going to hate him if she ever found out about this. 

[imminent-danger-came]

I love reading your tags- especially when theres just even MORE info dumping there.

The least favorite character ask made me giggle a bit, "This character that appeared for a single episode is actually pretty cool. And this character is really awesome in this particular context. But ALSO I really like this character with very little actual screentime."

You‘re absolutely right though! Characters whose only purpose is to fill a particular role are chosen really well too! Like the Host Girl; sure, she doesn’t really have a personality or anything, but she doesn’t NEED to have one. As you said, she‘s collateral damage. She gives us more insight to Wukong, she shows us just how ruthless he can be. He‘s willing to kill the epitome of innocence: A child. A defenseless little girl with a cutesy voice, who was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

(It‘s also worth a mention that, contrary to Wukong, she revealed a softer side of Macaque. Not to the extent the fandom built it up, but in an arguably more meaningful way. He‘s worried/feels bad for a total stranger. Even if it was only a concerned look, she once again gave us a deeper insight to a member of the main cast.)

And the characters with less focus either have really genuine interactions (Yellow Tusk with Azure) that just endear you to them, or they drop a banger line (like the Jade Emperor) before their purpose is fulfilled.

Nothing wrong with being a plot device if it‘s done well!

This wasn‘t really much of an ask rather than me rambling. Sorry.

I welcome rambles in my ask box! Half of you that show up in my ask box could just write your own analysis posts.

And you're also totally right! There isn't anything wrong with characters that are there just to function as plot devices. Sometimes a child is there just to be a child, and that's all they need to be. I think I feel this way about Megapolis (a name for the city that hasn't even been mentioned in show). Like it's a city filled with innocent people, it's MK & the Gang's home, and that's all it kinda needs to be tbh. LMK has to be extremely tight with what it chooses to focus on because of time constraints, and it does that well. When it comes down to it, focusing on the characters/plot is more important than focusing on the setting (which I think debatably wouldn't contribute much anyways—like we don't need more of a reason to care about the city, you know?).

I have this same opinion when it comes to the Demon Bull Family, which may be an unpopular take, but the truth is that a lot of their development happened off-screen. After ROTSQ and until we see them again in 3x06, it's clear that there have been positive changes between Red Son and his parents. I think I've seen some folk want Red Son to cut off his parents entirely, but that kinda goes against the core of his character. Part of Red Son's appeal for me is his complete devotion to his family despite their flaws (saving them in ROTSQ and EYD, attempting to save them in 4x09). Red Son and Princess Iron Fan only ever wanted world domination because that's what DBK wanted, and after that failed—they gave up. They hit the bricks. Red Son then started a food business with his dad (jealous of MK and Pigsy's noodle shop mayhaps?), and I think it's telling that DBK would even agree to do that to begin with. DBK and PIF's disregard of Red Son may not be acknowledged in the way people want, and I get that, but it's not that it didn't happen. I'd say there's another jump in their development between the end of 3x14 and the beginning of 4x09, where the fact that DBK calls out for Red Son as he gets taken away shows a closeness between them that we hadn't seen before. It's also clear that DBK has grown past the person who only wanted to create the world in his own image, chastising Azure Lion:

Demon Bull King: "How many times must you be struck down chasing this same foolish dream?"

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

(Plus "This pursuit of yours has warped your mind brother—it is the only reason I could imagine that you would have the nerve to assault my home and harm my family!" echoing PIF in 1x10 "Come to your senses, this power has poisoned your mind!"; Azure unreasonably considers DBK a traitor like DBK had unreasonably considered Red Son a traitor, etc.)

DBK, unlike plenty of other antagonists in LMK (Spider Queen, LBD, and Azure specifically), learned to stop and accept the world as it was. He failed as a conqueror, but he still had his family, and he could try and not fail as a father for his "half-baked son"—or that's how I interpret DBK anyhow.

((I also want to bring up the fact that DBK didn't dare use the Samadhi Fire ring he had to power himself up with Red Son's furnace in AHIB. Like, even the Mr. Bull King has some restraint—there are prices too great to pay for the world, hence why he gave up on world domination after 1x10, when he almost killed his wife and son.))

To me it makes the Demon Bull Family feel like characters that exist outside of MK & the Gang, and can grow/change even when they're not on screen with our main characters, and I think that's cool. We also legitimately didn't have time for anything else.

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)