#not sure about maria there's basically nothing on her so far

[thevoidstaredback]

Part 4

Danny took to the Spanish Language like a fish to water, learning it's most basic form in three days, and every little nuance about it in another four.

Alejandro had been kind enough to let him stay with them and their family for the week. They were very accommodating and understanding as he learned their language and culture. He enjoyed trading knowledge with them, and he hoped they did, too.

He messaged Jazz every morning and every night. Long messages about what he did during the day. Just before lights out, he spent an hour or so going into more depth in his journal, going so far as to draw pictures from memory so that he wouldn't forget.

Alejandro's little sister, Maria, helped him with his art. She was amazing at it and he was honored to be taught by her.

Their father, Antonio, taught him about their food culture, teach him how to cook simple meals. He'd even been allowed to help with making lunch on days four and five!

Their grandmother, Abuela Maya, taught him their myths and stories, about how to stay safe and what to look out for. He didn't tell any of them, but he was pretty sure she clocked his ghostlyness the second she laid eyes on him.

Danny was getting anxious, staying in one place for so long, and he knew Alejandro and their family were picking up on it. He wanted to stay, but the feeling of being watched was starting to creep up on him.

Outside and down the street a little at the playground is where Alejandro found him.

"It's been fun having you here, Danny," they said.

"I've had fun staying here."

"But you're anxious to leave."

He paused. He didn't want to offend, but, "Yeah."

"Lo entiendo. A guy like you has a hard time staying still." They leaned back, laying on the grass with their hands behind their head like a pillow. A sigh. "I wish I could go with you."

Danny laid down, too. "Me, too."

"But I can't."

"I know." He had a feeling this was going to be a recurring theme.

Alejandro continued as though he hadn't spoken. Almost seeming to talk themself out of leaving with him, reasoning against leaving. "I have to stay to help take care of Abuela Maya and Maria. Papá es getting sick; he refuses to stay down, ¿sabes? Won't listen to his body, to his kids." A beat. Two. "Mamá died the same way, when Maria was four. She doesn't remember her, but I do. I miss her."

Danny didn't have words of comfort to share with his friend. What was there to say that hadn't already been said.

Alejandro chuckled humorlessly. "Sorry for dumping that on you."

"It's okay." And it was. Danny understood the need to say something. "My sister's been studying psychology since before I can remember. She says that talking is healthy."

"You have a ¿hermana?"

"Yeah. Su nombre es Jazz. She's the smartest person I know."

"Smarter than me?"

The humor was back. "Smarter than Abuela Maya."

Alejandro gasped in fake indignation. "You don't mean that!"

Danny shook his head. "I do."

They clicked their tongue. "Now I have to meet her. She gonna meet you somewhere so you can travel together?"

Danny shook his head with a small smile. "Can't. Circumstances won't let me go back, nor will they let her join me."

"Lo siento, man, that must be rough."

He shrugged. "Nothing either of us can do about it."

"Do you mind if I ask what's what?"

Danny paused. There couldn't be a lot of harm in telling Alejandro at least a little bit, right? But then, he hadn't even contacted Tucker or Sam yet, having muted their conversations for the time being until he worked up the courage to call them.

He sighed. "There's a secret I've been hiding from my parents for a bout a year now. And because of what's been happening state-side, it's not safe for me there anymore."

Alejandro was quiet for a long minute. "At least you have your sister."

"Yeah. At least I have her."

The two lapsed back into a comfortable quiet, watching the clouds until the sun hovered right over them and they had to look away.

"What's your plan now?"

Danny thought for a minute. What was his plan? He could probably meet with Dani somewhere for a bit before they ultimately parted ways again. She was still in Guatemala, according to her last message, and would be staying the week before moving on. They'd have to plan soon if they wanted to meet up.

"A cousin of mine," he said, "is in Guatemala right now, so I'll probably head her way."

"Maldita sea, your family must be rollin' in it to b able to travel so much!"

He looked away, bashful. "Not really. Jazz gave me what she had so I could leave the country, but that won't last, and my cousin won't accept any money she doesn't earn on her own. Not even the child support!"

"Your cousin has a child? And she's traveling with it?"

"No, I'm- she is the child."

"Then why is she getting child support if she's the child?"

"It's being sent to me, legally, but I put it all in an account for her to access when she wants or needs it."

The air turned heavy for a moment. Between one breath and the next, it was light again. "It's good that you guys have a good relationship. How old is she?"

"Yeah. She's a few years younger than me."

"Oh," was the stilted response.

Danny didn't like the heaviness the silence had taken again. "You ever seen a superhero?"

"Like the ones on T.V?"

"Yeah,"

"Not in person, no. But I've always wondered what it'd be like to meet one. Or, hell, even be one."

Danny had to scoff. "It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"You ever meet any?"

"No."

"Hm." A beat. Two. Three. "You should head down to Linares next. It's where Abuela Maya's from."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You might find some of the answers you're looking for there."

Danny thought about it for a moment. "Okay. Sounds like a plan."

"Good. No give me your phone number so that we can keep in touch."

"What?"

"I can't leave, but I'm not gonna miss out on the world because of that. I want pictures and messages and-" They cut off and pulled Danny into a hug. "You're the closest friend I've had in a while, 'nny. Don't forget about me, okay?"

The hug was awkward, laying down as they were, but he wrapped his arms around them all the same. "I wouldn't dream of it, 'dro."

Part 6

Translation 1 - Spanish: Granny Maya Translation 2 - Spanish: I get it. Translation 3 - Spanish: Dad is Translation 4 - Spanish: y'know? Translation 5 - Spanish: Mom Translation 6 - Spanish: sister? Translation 7 - Spanish: Her name's Jazz. Translation 8 - Spanish: I'm sorry, Translation 7 - Spanish: Damn,

[bunnysbrainrot]

Too Sweet

A series inspired by Hozier’s ‘Too Sweet’.

Relationship: Joel Miller x f!Reader

Content: No sexually explicit content, at least not yet. Some slight fluff? Slow burn vibes? Joel is kind of a dick (for once in my writings), but a protective dick.

Summary: You’re one of the newest arrivals in Jackson after a long trip to seek refuge. Now that you’re settling in, one of Jackson’s most integral men is the head of your first patrol. Will Joel be able to set aside that gruff demeanor for the sake of meeting someone new?

A/N: I’m so sorry about my recent hiatus, everyone. I’ve thought of this series for a while, to get me inspired again and to work towards something bigger. I’ve also thought about having some sections/chapters be from Joel’s perspective. Thoughts on that? Sorry it’s nothing spicy yet, but we’ll work up to it. Tensionnnn

The sound of birds echoed outside your bedroom window. By some miracle, you’d found a community, after so many months wandering either alone, or with the occasional group, but never for long. The mattress beneath you squeaks as you shift in your bed. Normally an irksome noise, but it reminded you that you were finally safe.

A faint light of dawn trickles through the gaps in the curtains, streaking around the room in a periwinkle hue. Your sluggish grog was slowly wearing off, while you processed your plans for that day. It was a Thursday, according to your new watch. God, you hadn’t realized how much you missed being able to tell the time. Who knows truly how long you’d been out there. Days blurring together, the minutes excruciatingly drawn out without company.

It was nice to be a part of something again.

Finally, you sat up in bed, rolling your head to stretch your neck. How long had it been since you had a proper pillow?

A smile crept onto your face. You’re better rested than ever, but an anxiety still ate away at you. Today was your first patrol outside of Jackson. You weren’t alone, of course, but the expectations you held for yourself could be your downfall.

“Okay, let’s do this,” you whispered to yourself.

Walking over to your dresser, you eyed yourself in a dusty mirror above the chest of drawers. A kind woman named Maria had provided you with a few new outfits when you’d first arrived a week ago. In the meantime until today, she’d given you those days to process and settle, and you were grateful for her patience.

When Maria had asked you what role you’d like in the community, she could see the steely glint in your eyes. Well seasoned from years of fighting and running, yet still a kernel of a protective rage.

You had expressed to her of your journey before finding Jackson. On that day she asked you how many of the dead you had taken out thus far.

“In total, by myself, well over three hundred, I would say. I don’t know, I think I lost track at some point.”

Her expression shifted to one of assurance, like they’d just gotten a worthy addition to their town. Someone who could protect what they’d all built.

She explained the basics of patrols, the routes laid out on an old map, with hand drawn trails and indicators of the area. You made an attempt to remember as much as you could, but surely you’d get good practice being out there, actually doing it.

————

You check yourself before heading out the front door. This time of year, the weather has started to warm up, so your opted for a t-shirt, jeans, a light jacket, and a ‘new’ pair of hand-me-down boots.

The air outside was cleaner than you’d imagined. The scent of early morning breakfasts wafted through the breeze, bringing a pang to your stomach. Maria hadn’t mentioned how long patrols would take; you debated if you had time to grab something from a stall in the heart of town. Other residents had been given spaces to cook for the community, giving out easy meals for these hardworking people.

Turns out you did have time, to your relief. In a matter of minutes, you held a piping hot breakfast sandwich in your hands, its heat seeping into your chilled fingers.

A few folks wave a friendly ‘hello’ as you trek to the Southern side of Jackson, to its border wall to meet up with your patrol group. There was a huddle of both peiple and horses, you noticed, as you got closer. One of the people turned to you, giving a wave in recognition.

“Hi, am I late? I thought I’d have time to get breakfast,” you explained.

There was a woman with kind eyes who spoke next, “Not at all, these bastards just insist on getting up at 5:30.”

“That sure is an early start.”

“It gets them cranky like you wouldn’t believe,” she replied, quickly cut off by a new voice.

It was a gentleman who called to the group, “We all here?”

His voice wasn’t commanding, but it did put people into gear to check themselves. Clearly he was the one in charge of this patrol. The look in his eyes told you all you needed to know.

He might be someone to watch.

You turn to the woman, “I’m sorry to ask, but I don’t know anyone here yet. Is there any way you could give me a run-down of who everyone is?”

With a smile, she listed off the names of your group members, pointing them out. Some of them noticed and waved, others gave a slight smile, and others asked for your name. All were introduced until it was down to the man who’d rounded the group.

“And, that’s Joel. He’s head of the patrol.”

Your eyes shot to Joel now that you could put a name to the face. There was a moment of pause when you met his gaze, a moment frozen in time from his stare. He scanned over your face, down to your shoddy boots, and back to your eyes.

His expression doesn’t soften as he says, “Glad to have ya with us. Should be a horse on the way for you.”

Joel turns to face the gate as he rummages through his pockets for a folded map. He unfolds the paper until it spans across his horse’s shoulders.

The rhythmic clonk of a horse’s hooves came from behind. A familiar face approached with a stunning mare, it’s Maria.

“Mornin’ everyone, that should be it,” Maria traded off with you, handing you the mare’s lead. She spoke louder, announcing to the group. “Y’all stay safe out there. Shouldn’t be too bad, but it is getting warmer. Keep an eye out for groups.”

Members of your party nodded before Maria walked off, giving greetings to other folks who’d just begun to bustle around.

Your attention shifted back, specifically to Joel. It seemed that whatever he says, goes, so that’s what you’d follow.

Two men at the top of the wall made their way to the edges of the gate, hauling it open. Golden sunlight peeked above the mountains ahead, casting the world in a yellow glow.

Joel nodded, then a gruff, “Be smart. Stay close.”

————

The sun was overhead now. You’d been out here for hours, keeping an eye out for any infected that roamed too close to camp. A while ago, you spotted one trapped in an abandoned cabin. Which was quickly dispatched by one of the men in your party.

That cycle repeated almost wordlessly amongst you all. Hardly a single word had been uttered aside from Joel’s occasional command or redirection.

For the most part, things were going smoothly. And after a few minutes of some peace and quiet, you realized you’d strayed away from your spot in the formation. Your horse had fallen in pace with a beautiful brown stallion, riding on top, was none other than the leader.

Joel.

You’d turned to see who it was, but were quickly met with another intense stare. Your gaze darts to the side as you issue an apology, “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to get so ahead of everyone.”

For the first time his expression does soften. A slight hint or kindness in his eyes. The corners of his eyes crinkle with his slight smile.

“It happens. Just… keep a lil’ distance. You’re new, can’t have you rushing ahead without someone else with you.”

The words would form a lecture if it weren’t for his tone. It wasn’t scrutinizing, but rather soft and protective.

His advice brings a smile out of you. A genuine one, for the first time in a while. Perhaps he wasn’t as much of a hard-ass as you’d assumed. You tug your horse’s reins to slow her pace, creating a few feet of space between you and Joel.

Yet even still, that smile he gave you kept your heart racing.

It would be a horrible idea, to fawn after him.

Right?

That thought had no effect on the tightness in your chest, or the fluttering in your stomach. Perhaps it was simply happiness that someone so hardened could be so easily friendly. A hard exhale later, you told yourself that it was the camaraderie that flustered you.

—

The group had made their journey back to town. Aside from the occasional runner, there wasn’t much defense needed this morning. Once your group returned, you’d have lunch and trade off with the next group, and share your findings before they venture out.

You had let your mind wander as you rode with the group.

In a split second, your mare bucks in fright. There was no time to assess what scared her before you were shooting ahead, flying past your patrol group.

“Nonononono- NO! It’s alright, it’s alright-“ you cry, but it falls on deaf ears of a scared animal. Tugging on the reins made no difference. You still shot ahead of the others, directionless without someone to guide you.

“It’s alright, baby, you’re safe! You’re okay. It’s gone!” You plead to the horse to slow down. The reassurances don’t seem to be enough.

A thundering set of footsteps is heard behind you. In a swift move, Joel jabbed his horse with his heel, pushing himself to race ahead of you.

With the rush of the air and galloping hooves, you could hardly make out his instructions.

“What?!” You shouted.

“Pull the reins! And I mean pull!”

You gripped the leather of the reins, drawing them to your chest, tugging your horse’s head back and away. Her pace slowed, but she kept running, now to the left. You could make out a curse from Joel as he redirected.

In a stroke of luck, he made some headway. Joel’s horse zoomed forward, and merged directly in front of yours, and the interruption slowed the mare’s pace just enough.

Another tug of the reins helps her into a steady beat. Joel was directly ahead, now turned to the side to block more of the path. Your horse huffed and threw her head frustratedly. In that short time you had no clue just how far you’d strayed away - looking backwards told you that it was at least a few hundred meters.

Embarrassment showed in your flushed cheeks and wild expression, looking to Joel for some sort of scolding.

“I think something scared her. I.. I didn’t get a chance to see, it all happened so fast-“

Joel raised a hand to stop you mid-sentence. He didn’t wear a smile like before, but his expression wasn’t angry. If anything, he had that protective look once again.

“I know. They’re skittish, ‘specially her. She needs a little more control than the others.”

It’s a reassurance, truthfully. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing you weren’t on the shit list on the first day. Your breathing had slowed down now, though your heart still raced wildly in your chest.

He scanned your face thoroughly before he asked, “You alright?”

A nod is what you could muster. It’s enough for Joel to give a nod back before waving to the folks behind you, the rest of the group, to call them over.

“Maybe next time I’ll have a more confident horse. No offense….” you paused, “what’s her name?”

Joel’s lips tugged into a smile, “That’s Belle you’re ridin’. Poor girl hasn’t been out in a while, so she’s not as warmed up to this. But you did good with her, all things considered. Handled it well.”

You reached down to pat Belle on the side of her cheek, caressing her carefully.

“It’s okay, Belle. We’re with you. You’re alright now.”

A smile vanished from Joel’s face when you look back up at him. He cleared his throat, his eyes skirting away until your party began to join up with you two.

“It’s all good. Belle got the jitters. Let’s head home.”

With that explanation out of the way, the team could finally resume their return home. Along the way, Joel didn’t have much else to say, much to anyone actually. His silence was solemn - definitely not any invitation to strike up conversation.

Perhaps that’s how he’d always be - resigned, reserved, and off limits to everyone. A part of you ached at the thought of it.

For Joel, that loneliness could be his downfall.

Hi guys! Thanks for reading, I’m sorry if it seems a little boring, but it’s for the sake of the story building. TRUST it will get nasty soon. 🥰

[decadeofjoy-au]

PART 7 OF THE DECADE OF JOY STORY

Title: Security’s Breached

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/776920501597749248/tdoj=story-part-1

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/776942253990150144/part-two-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/776958445399261184/part-3-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

Part 4: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/777039601386864640/part-4-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

Part 5: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/777059028533641216/part-5-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

Part 6: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/777126585941835776/part-6-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

SETTING: Security halls

MAIN CHARACTER: Maria Harper, Caleb and Handyman

OCS in this part and their owners.

Caleb-icanexplainwhythisisabadname

Maria Harper-TDOJ

Handyman-TDOJ

Clarance the Clayman-TDOJ

Luccy Piccy-multydraws

Hixel Pixel-TDOJ

Pianosaurus

Huggy Wuggy

Handyman slowly lagged behind the group, staring at their hand. They almost stopped walking when they heard Clarance speak up, saying something. They immediately stopped and looked up. Security cameras at every corner…they’re being watched... Handyman’s hands bawled up into fists. They immediately quickened their pace to get closer to the group. Every corner could be a wrong turn…a wrong choice…and Handyman didn’t feel like making a bad decision today. Maria held her bat in a defensive position whilst Caleb listened out for any danger. Clarance looked around for any potential escape routes incase they all got caught(though…most of them were only for Clarance himself..). Handyman looked up then noticed a specific security camera was pointed directly at the group. They rushed to the front of the group and went over to the camera before launching their hand out at it, ripping it from the wall and breaking it in their grip. Maria mumbled something under her breath about them being far too loud as she continued to follow the group.

They continued down the darkened hallways, looking at the many turns and stair wells…Yeesh…this place is big. And it has a lotta hallways…Clarance was just about to speak up when walking was heard from the distance. It was loud, basically stomping. Handyman quickly went to check if there was a room they could hide in but…nothing. A large dinosaur figure stepped out from the corner and laid their eyes on them. Is that…Pianosaurus….? After a second of examining them, without another moment of hesitation, the dinosaur toy began to chase after the group, his footsteps loud enough to alert anyone and anything nearby. Maria looked back at the group and yelled

Maria: “RUN!”

As soon as she said this, everyone immediately begun running in their own separate directions. Maria made sure to stay with Caleb, just incase he lost his footing or they had to turn a quick corner. Handyman went up a flight of nearby stairs as Clarance immediately went to squeeze his body into a vent in the ceiling. Pianosaurous went after Maria and Caleb.

After making it to the top of the stairs, Handyman had to act quickly as there were other toys now chasing after them. Huggy Wuggy let out an echoing shriek as he ran down the hallways on all fours with Hixel Pixel and Luccy Piccy following after him. Handyman turned a corner and eventually noticed a large open vent. They darted inside it but had to crouch down to make their way through. They looked up for just a second to notice the messages written on the walls…”we’ve won.” “TURN BACK” and so many more messages that they almost didn’t notice the approaching hole. They fell through and attempted to grab onto something…anything as to not fall too far down but unfortunately…there was nothing. Huggy, Hixel and Luccy stared down at the hole as they listened out for anything. Hixel took out a phone and begun to speak into it. His voice was mostly normal but sounded just slightly 8 bit.

Hixel: “Hey….Yeah, Catnap. We got an escapee…we were chasing them down the vents when they fell through a hole. No…no we don’t know how deep it’s is. Yeah, okay…I’ll tell Doey and Mommy.”

Hixel looked up at Huggy.

Hixel: “Catnap says stay on guard…incase the intruder is seen again. Don’t let them escape.”

Luccy nodded and walked off as Huggy gave a thumbs up and walked after her. He needs to meet up with the other three leaders anyhow…

—————————

Maria and Caleb darted down the hallway as fast as they could, Pianosaurus was catching up quick. Maria tripped over herself and tumbled to the ground, letting go of Caleb in the process. She quickly rushed to get back up before turning around and readying her bat. As soon as Pianosaurus got close enough, she slammed the bat into his face, causing him to fall back whilst also breaking off a few of his teeth. He flailed aggressively on the ground out of pain at the sudden attack as Maria grabbed onto Caleb’s sleeve and began running again, ignoring the newfound pain in her leg. The two Kids ran up a flight of stairs and dashed down the hall but were grabbed by a pair of blue and green hands which quickly pulled them up into a vent. Clarance quickly closed off the vent just as Huggy begun to walk down the halls. Clarance looked at the two of them then frowned….wheres Handyman? He looked back down to make sure they hadn’t been seen before whispering to them. As much as he wanted to stay with them to make sure they’d be safe, Handyman would be in far more danger if they were caught.

Clarance: “🔷You two stay here…🔷 - 🟢I’ll…I’ll go find Handyman.🟢”

Maria: “what!? You’re leaving us?!”

Caleb: “oh come on..we barely got to know you.”

Clarance: “🟢I’ll be quick! I swear..🟢 …sigh… 🟪I’m not lying this time, alright?🟪”

Maria: “This time?” What do you mean “this time”?”

Clarance: “🔷er- sorry. Sorry.🔷- 🟪Slipped off the tongue.🟪 - 🟢Just…stay here!🟢”

Clarance ran off as quickly as possible. He was surprisingly rather quick for his size. Maria watched him dart off as Caleb grabbed his backpack and felt around for some medical supplies. From how hard she fell it was safe to assume that she received a bruise at the very least.

—————————Hours later…..

Handyman slowly woke up. They laid limp on the ground for a few seconds before slowly getting up. They attempted to regain their balance before looking around at where they were...oh…great…they’re back down in the lab rooms…they let out a defeated sigh then begun to walk around aimlessly. They’ve walked down these halls so many times and yet they still don’t know any shortcuts…Maybe in the workyard or….no. No. They’re not going back there. Maybe another experiment could help…hopefully.

They didn’t even notice that they were bleeding. They’ve been injured so many times that they don’t even realize anymore. It’s those Poppies on their neck that keep them from dying anyhow…Handyman put a hand to the side of their head before slowly dragging it down and looking at it. They then looked at their arm before ignoring it all together and walking away. They barely flinched as they stepped on something sharp. They lifted up their foot then looked down at what they had stepped on. Glass. Their gaze slowly went from the glass to look up at where it had came from. A mirror with a punch crack on it. Handyman stared at their reflection before reaching up to touch their face. They almost forgot it was made from plastic and metal…they continued to stare at the mirror before looking down at their hand again, then their arm and their legs and joints before eventually they took a step forward and slammed the mirror to the ground. They don’t blame whoever punched the stupid thing. They turned away from it with a huff before continuing on.

[yingfelis]

Killer love

Angel x Reader

“You’re really weird y’know.”

You looked up, your eyes meeting Angel’s as you gave her a curious look.

“Care to elaborate?” Angel just giggled as you just stared cluelessly at her.

“Look at what you’ve doing right now and tell me you’re normal with a straight face.” Angel’s voice teasing with a hint of fondness as you remembered what exactly what you were doing.

You looked back down as you rubbed a damp towel into the palm of her hand, getting rid of the blood that had previously covered her skin. “Wasn’t saying I was normal, just wondering what finally got you to say something.”

Angel chuckled as she moved her (now clean) hand to grab your wrist, and brought your hand (holding the towel) to her cheek. Said cheek which was spattered in blood you immediately started to wipe off.

“Well for one, normal people don’t gently wipe off the blood on a serial killer’s face after they’ve just killed someone.”

“Normal people don’t tend to knowingly date serial killers” you retorted as you finished cleaning the blood off her face, leaving a small kiss on the corner of the blonde’s mouth to solidify your point.

Angel’s cheeks sparked a light pink as the sudden affection, “You don’t go easy on the heart… but touché”

Angel shifted and rested her head on your shoulder, letting out a deep sigh. It wasn’t done out of annoyance or anything, it was as if she just finally let herself relax.

“Are you sure you’re not secretly a murder?”

“I’m not.”

“Not even the tiny bit murderous?”

“That…” you had to take a pause as you thought back to the first night you saw Angel in person. Covered in the blood of her previous asshole of a manager, the manager you encouraged her to kill.

“That’s… debatable. But I still haven’t technically killed anyone.”

The girl beside you let out a laugh as she seemed to lean her body on you more. “I’m not sure whether to call you incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. I mean sure accidentally getting onto a serial killer is one thing… but staying for as long as you have now is another.”

It’s true. You could have left at anytime. You thought about leaving many times. You should have left a long time ago. Before you involved yourself so much with these people.

But you never could for some reason.

You blamed it on your book, your whole obsession with writing to the point of throwing your life away. Going as far as you view your life as nothing but secret story waiting to be transferred onto a page. A viewpoint that was probably nowhere near healthy and basically what got you into this mess in the first place.

But you knew it wasn’t only that.

It hasn’t been that reason for a long time.

You turned to face the girl next to you. She looked back at you with expecting eyes and the most relaxed expression on her face you knew you were one of the only few to have the privilege of seeing.

Angel, The Heartsick Angel, Maria De La Rosa

You muttered something under your breath. Barely audible that just escaped comprehension but was there nonetheless. And as Angel’s— no… not in this instance. Not right now with you you cut your own thoughts off, as Maria’s lips parted to ask what you said, you already silenced her with your own.

Right the reason you stayed…

You leaned back, your hand gently cradling Maria’s cheek as you looked into her light blue eyes. She truly looked so angelic in this moment, you couldn’t help the words stumbling out of your mouth

“My muse…”

You whispered on her lips before she pulled you back in for another kiss.

[marrrrss]

Lost and Found: Crossed Path, ch.3

Hank Voight x Reader, +basically all CPD and extra characters

Summary: Clara and Voight past

Word count: 1.3K

TW: cps? child being placed? family drama, drugs!, moving (if you see anything else tell me)

Author's note: my mind has been a mess lately. wanting to come back to writing. here's part 3. tryna post part 4 and last by the end of the end of this week <3 PS: I have nooooo idea how social services work in USA, I just know what I see on TV and TV shows.

>>>next chapters: ch.4 - the end of the case<<<

chapter 1 chapter 2

>>>English is not my first language<<<

𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚊 𝚊𝚗��� 𝚅𝚘𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝 (𝟷5 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚘)

It wasn’t his case. She wasn’t even supposed to be there. She was just waiting for CPS.

Voight had heard through the grapevine that a kid had been found in a drug house. Her dad had been deported a few years ago, and her mom was the mind behind the operation. And she was just… a kid, caught in the middle of it. Clara—a seven-year-old girl in a drug house.

For days, she didn’t speak. For three full days, Clara didn’t say a single word.

Until one night.

They were sitting in Voight’s car, eating burgers after his shift. The silence wasn’t heavy—just quiet, normal. Until...

“… Am I gonna stay with you?” Clara asked in a small voice, then took a bite of her burger.

It caught Hank off guard. That little question, so simple on the surface, carried so much weight coming from a seven-year-old. Until now, Clara had barely spoken in full sentences. Mostly “yes,” “no,” “sure,” “maybe,” “don’t know”—safe words, small words.

Voight didn’t even know how to answer. He didn’t know if anyone had found her family yet or if there was a permanent place lined up.

“I don’t know,” he said, turning to look at her. “Would you want that? I mean… staying with me?”

Clara paused and just stared down at her food. She barely remembered what had happened before she ended up at Voight’s place. All she knew was she wanted something that felt like… home. Again.

“I don’t know,” Clara said after a beat, her voice just above a whisper. “I like it here.”

Her words came out with the kind of fragile confidence only a child with no solid ground under them could manage.

“I wouldn’t mind you staying with me, Clara. But… you know we gotta wait. For the response from the services, right?”

“I know…” she said quietly.

Then, she turned in the passenger seat to face him. Her big eyes were searching for something he couldn’t name.

“… But… what happens then?”

“Then what?” he asked gently.

“… What if I don’t like who I go with?”

Voight let out a breath, gave himself a second to answer.

“I’ll make sure, Clara. Whoever you stay with—it’s gonna be good people. People who’ll keep you safe. And I’ll be in touch, no matter what, alright?”

Clara just looked at him. Really looked. And for the first time, her shoulders relaxed. Just a bit.

She felt safe.

Then… she nodded and went back to eating.

Neither she nor Voight knew what would happen next.

But for now, it was alright.

3 DAYS LATER

It was 7 p.m.—a little late for a call that wasn’t about work. The number flashing on the screen was unfamiliar. A landline.

Voight sighed as he picked up.

“Voight.”

“Hi, this is Veronica Hunter from CPS. Am I speaking with Hank Voight?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” he said, leaning against the kitchen counter, already uneasy.

���Sorry to call so late. I wanted to update you on Clara. We found a family member—an aunt. She’s in New Jersey. On her mom’s side.”

Voight exhaled slowly. “Clara never mentioned an aunt.”

“It came up when we ran a full nationwide search,” Veronica continued. “Her name’s Maria. Runs a hair salon. Single, no kids, never married. Her record is clean—nothing alarming. We’ve done the preliminary check. So far, she looks good.”

Voight stayed quiet, staring out the window above the sink.

New Jersey.

Not exactly a world away, but far enough. Far enough that Clara wouldn’t just drop by. Far enough to feel like goodbye.

“And you’ve talked to her?” he asked after a pause.

“We have. She was surprised, to be honest. Said she hasn’t spoken to Clara’s mom since Clara was a baby. Some family fallout, sounds like. But she didn’t hesitate—she wants to take Clara.”

Voight’s jaw clenched. “When would this happen?”

“In about two weeks. Gives us time to finish paperwork, set up a proper transition, and arrange the flight.”

Two weeks. Just two more weeks.

He shut his eyes for a moment, willing the sting behind them to go away.

“I’ll talk to Clara,” he said finally. “Can I call you in the morning? After I’ve spoken to her?”

“Absolutely. I’ll wait for your call, Mr. Voight. Thank you again—for everything you’ve done.”

When the call ended, he stayed in the kitchen a while. The silence felt louder than usual.

The house had started to feel full again. Not busy—just… lived in. There were signs of Clara in every room now—tiny socks tucked into corners, a purple toothbrush next to his own, crayon drawings stuck to the fridge.

And in two weeks, it could all be gone. Just him again.

He made his way to the living room slowly, every step heavy with something he didn’t quite know how to name.

Clara was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, a coloring book balanced on her knees. Just coloring.

Voight sat down in the armchair across from her.

“Hey, Clara?”

She looked up, eyes soft but tired. “Yeah?”

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

“I got a call. CPS found one of your aunts. She lives in New Jersey. Her name’s Maria. She’s… she’s your mom’s sister.”

Clara blinked, her crayon stalling on the page. “I don’t know her.”

“I know,” he said gently. “She hasn’t been around. But she wants to meet you. She wants to take care of you.”

Clara didn’t speak. Just stared at him. Voight could almost see her working through the words in her head—what they meant, what they could mean.

“When?” she asked finally, voice small.

“In two weeks.”

She looked back down at her coloring book. “Is it… forever?”

Voight swallowed hard. “I don’t know, kiddo. Maybe. Maybe not. But we’ll make sure it’s safe. And if it doesn’t feel right… we’ll figure it out. Okay?”

There was a long stretch of silence. The kind that sat heavy in the air.

Then, in a voice even smaller than before, Clara said, “I don’t wanna go.”

Voight reached out, resting a hand on the edge of the couch. “I know.”

She looked at him again, this time really looked. “Will I still get to talk to you?”

He gave her the softest smile he could manage. “You better. Or I’ll drive to Jersey myself and bother you.”

Clara gave a tiny, crooked smile at that—just a flicker, but it was enough.

“I like it here,” she whispered.

“I know,” he said. “I like you here, too.”

And then she scooted forward, blanket falling to her lap, and leaned into his arm. He didn’t hesitate—just pulled her close, holding her like the fragile, brave little thing she was.

He didn’t say it, but he felt it: he wasn’t ready either

2 WEEKS LATER

The day Clara left, Voight packed her things slowly. Not that there was much to take—some clothes, a toothbrush, a few books he had found in an old box in the attic.

She didn’t cry. Neither did Voight.

But when the social servicer car was loaded, and the hugs were given, Clara lingered by the passenger door.

“Can I call you?” she asked, not looking up.

“Anytime,” Voight said. “And I’ll call you, too. Just to bug you.”

She nodded. Then—out of nowhere—threw her arms around him. Quick. Fierce.

Voight wrapped his arms around her and held tight.

“You’re gonna be okay, Clara,” he said. “You’re strong. And you’ve got people now.”

She pulled back, wiped her nose, and climbed into the car.

As the car pulled away, Voight stood on the porch, hands in his pockets.

His house was quiet again. But it wasn’t the same.

taglist: @drakelover78@pear-1206@skywalker0809

[cigarettesaftersae]

Homesick 03 - dozen

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Series: sae x f!reader | childhoodlovers!au

Stuck in a small town near the coast with a previous crush on a boy who returns after years

A few days pass since your interaction with Sae. Being the curious creature you are, you went out your way to find who exactly he was. Seeing as you couldn't obtain that knowledge at a younger age. The moment has to be now. Why else would you see him again? Was it at the hands of fate? Destiny? Or just pure coincidence? I mean any day you could’ve just went forward to him but this felt, almost extraordinary. Everything happens for a reason and anything is a reason for everything.

And here you are, working at Maria’s Cafe hoping to get information about Itoshi Sae. As well to help out Maria and earn a stable financial life. Baring the details, she seemed closed to Sae and the smell of sweet cookies and lattes lingered in the air, and this morning was filled with small chatter.

“I got this, no worries” you smiled softly at her, taking care of the upcoming customers “2 Cream caramel lattes and a Vanilla Latte” you spoke to Maria. “Um- I also want to talk about something, miss Maria, if its fine by you of course.” Gosh, this was going to be embarrassing, you would of just searched him up on the internet, but you were too lazy sleeping. “My my, what is it dear?”

“I wondered if you knew anything about Itoshi Sae, you know um, red hair, teal eyes, very long under eye lashes. I’m kinda jealous of them.”

She chuckles with her back facing you, making a small cup of coffee for the waiting customers.

“Is this for research or something else?”

“Something like that”

”He’s beautiful young man, yet I do pity him. His whole life has been revolved around soccer. I fear it gets the worse of him.”

Thats right, he was an amazing soccer player back then. Where exactly did he go?

“So…is he like special or something?”

“Looks like someone doesn’t pay attention to the news and gossips.”

“Hah, I don’t really like those much despite being a journalist.” Man, you’re so far behind, after finishing high school you haven’t had much to do expect walk around and talk pictures. You majored in journalism, English, and Spanish. You figured if you were to find a career that thrived in adventure, language would be useful. As well as learning French alone.

“Well, you mentioned his life revolving around soccer, correct?”

“Correct as a pretty pink flower dear,” Maria smiled with her wrinkly eyes smiling back as well like Sunshines

“Wow, he must be excellent” You say smiling back- “He very much is, most call him Japan’s Prodigy and passed a high excellent school.”

You didn’t know he was *that* good, how come you never noticed? You guessed it was the lack of seeking into the world of soccer. Not your strong suit, you excel better in liberal arts.

“Oh- would you like me to take care of that?”

“No worries sweetie, just take care of the front for now?” You nod and follow Maria’s instructions. The wind carried the sounds of the bell into your ears. Turning your back around to the customer, only find Mr. Octopus himself. “What— um what can I help you with...?” You longed on your words. Now that you really looked at him much closer, his bangs seemed… interesting? I guess the face card makes up for it.

“I want to talk to Maria” His lips moved gracefully and fast to his point

“Sure, one moment” You almost hoped for a second that he’d come and visit you, did he even remember? Oh well..

You announce Sae’s arrival and his request for a talk to Maria, you could see how the corners of her lips curved happily. Watching as Maria and Sae sat down at a table, you took the orders of the few customers. As a curious cat, you were eager to hear out their conversations while making cups of cream coffees.

*Cmon..what is he saying…*

.

.

*Blah blah blah… how was your day- dookie basic stuff..*

“I would like to work here if that's fine by you. I’m not severely busy at all and have nothing to do so I thought helping you out here would be a start.” *Was that Sae talking? What are you thinking, of course it is…wait- work here? would that mean both of you would work together?*

“Oh my, are you sure you’re not busy at all?”

“I assure you, all fine.”

“Well when would you like to start?-”

“May I start now?”

Maria smiles “Of course you can, dear y/n can help reach you with the ropes.”

“I appreciate you accepting this offer.” Sae says with a needless and cool tone, but you could hear the appreciation slipping out a bit at least

You quickly take your eyes off so they wouldn’t notice your eavesdropping upon them. With a small glance, Sae places on an apron around his slim toned body.

“Y/n, Sae will be a new employee starting today, would you care to teach him some stuff while I take care of the back?”

You nod replying with a yes, now leaving you with an awkward tension between the two of you. *Quiet, crickets, quiet—* “I already memorize the menu” Sae spoke up, it almost scared you; slightly making yourself jump. “Oh, great so let's teach you how make some drinks.”

Within the 30 minutes, you taught Sae each drop of ingredient for each certain drink. He seemed well ready for the job and continued to help him out.

“I’m going to be working in the back.” Sae claimed with nothing else to say after that

“You haven’t even learned the register yet?” You stated, why just work on drinks and not even take orders?

“I talked this with Maria already.”

No point in arguing you thought if maria agreed

“Alright, as long as she's fine with it. If you need anything just ask”

And with that the morning passes quickly into late afternoon, Sae continued to perform an excellent job on the orders you took. Right now, blew quiet winds outside, barely even busy, coffee mugs in the sink, some small spills here and there, Maria sat down. You noted, she seemed rather tired. She’s been in the back all day. You walk up to Maria with a gentle tone, “Is everything alright Maria?”

“Just a tired ol’ lady. My bones must be getting rusty” She chuckles

“hmm, why don’t you head home early? I’m sure me and Sae would handle just fine”

Worse idea ever, you and Sae alone? It would just be awkward…this was your idea.

“I couldn’t just leave you guys alone”

“I agree with her, you should head home early and rest well.” Sae commented, so easy to agree with this plan, yours. An absolutely horrible idea

Maria smiles so kindly as usual “If you kids insist, thank you, both of you. Such caring kids”

—

Now you really feel awkward—you can almost taste it. It’s like mucus in your throat but not ready to go away and better yet it’s not even stuck it’s just there, you really wish a customer came in to break the silence, but it wasn’t even busy. From the late afternoon with students hanging out with their friends, families in parks passing for a nice drink, and individuals heading out for work to just a lazy evening with dim light shined in the corners.

*— ding!*

The weight on your heart was lifted so brightly, just like you wished. The universe is on your side today, how lucky. You take the customers’ order and let Sae handle most of making the drinks. To help out, you decided to head in the back to Sae only to be met with a bump to your forehead and a hot sting from your chest to all around your torse by the hot coffee to-go cup in Sae’s hand now to the ground for waste. It stains the apron and the shirt under, how unpleasant and not to mention the burn. You yelp in pain but not too loudly remembering the public display you were in. “Ahh—! ouch…” You sigh in defeat

“You got in the way” Sae said with a natural tone

What a fucking dickhead, not even a sorry after all this mess?

“Take care of the front” you quickly say heading in the back

“I’m working in the back only—”

“It’s no time to argue Itoshi, I’m all messed up and my chest burns, please?”

The look on his teal eyes remained the same cold, careless, and nonchalant as usual. You can never understand what Maria sees..

—

*Stupid idiot, what did you even see in him? Just a selfish cold bastard.*

You had to change out of the shirt and into a new apron. At the very least your pants remained fine. As you stepped closer to the front, you heard some loud people who you made out to be male voices..talking to… Sae? You walked into the view of the front to find a brunette man with a weird beard, mixed ethnicity with a mullet layering a bright green color and two different eye colors. Noting off to the side was another man who had red-pinkish hair, a long hair strand to the side of his face almost like a long side bang. A monk with specials tattoos, another with crazy blasting hair, and another with a weird looking guy reminding you of Mirio from My Hero Academia because of the eyes. You guessed these were his friends? Perhaps teammates?

“So this is the place you talked about, gotta say didn’t expect this outta of ya’ Prodigy” The two-eye colored man said, he seemed extroverted, bright, and stupidly handsome.

“Oh- I thought it was just Sae here today,” He averted his gaze to you, the look on his eyes changed from excited to— you would say flirtatious?

“What is your name?” He asked you; his lashes were ridiculously beautiful and long

“Y/n” you answer with a small smile

“Well y/n, I’m Oliver Aiku” There was a certain smirk smacked onto his face as he looked at you, you didn’t know how to feel either flattered or weird out

“Are you ordering anything?” With Sae’s bland words, the atmosphere shifts out

“Oo could I get a Vanilla Latte?” The red-pinkish hair chimed

“Same here” Oliver says

-

You and Sae make the drinks together as they wait,

“I’m sorry for spilling the drink on you, are you alright?”

He’s apologizing now? “You’re all good. Are those your friends?”

“Sure, whatever”

“So..they are?” Sae walks off not even bothering to give a full answer. What a boomer.

You bring the drinks to the guys

“You’re all set, anything else?”

“mm..a number?”

“A number” you question at Oliver, your number?

“Your number”

“uhhh..sorry but no.” hell no you dont even know him, but he was cute

“Ah, can’t say I didn’t try.” He sighs in defeat

After they left, late evening arrived and both of you had to close up. Counting tickets, money, and leaving every table, chair, floor tidy. As you were about to finish up, you were interrupted by Sae, “Do you need anything?”

“Your number”

What the flip is up with everything and numbers

“for work”

now you feel utterly stupid, death save me

“Right uh, here” You place the digits into his phone and his into yours.

“I have to get out early for the bus, could you close up?”

“Sure”

You exit the cafe and ran to the bus stop. Your legs felt wobbly as you stop only to realize there was no bus coming. Maybe you just needed to wait, were you late? This is bad, worse fear as a woman is to walk home alone in the dark. This felt dreadful to just slowly take your feet step by step forward the home you live which felt far every step even closer due to the worry of the dark. You sensed lights from a car arriving, it was slowing down to you. Please be an extra weirdo that kidnaps me. Bending you knees slightly in case, ready to run when the window slides down only to discover Sae.

Now you rather get captured then go another few awkward seconds with him. “What are you doing?” He says bluntly,

“Waiting for the bus.”

“They’re all closed, you’re too late…did you need a ride home?”

“Yes!— please?"

“Hurry up, I don’t have all time”

You hop into the passenger seat, giving him your address. You noticed how clean and tidy the car was. It was chic, black, and mysterious just like himself— and expensive, was he also rich?

“You did great today, especially for your first day” You tried to slide in small conversation to avoid meeting the same awkward tension as always

“Not that hard”

…its awkward again

“So, your friends, seemed uh—cool and interesting”

Nothing?

“I’m not signing an autograph” Sae exclaims as he drove

Erm, what? Does he really think I’m some weird fangirl— how insulting

“I didn’t even ask—that subject wasn’t even brought up”

He remained no reply, rude

“I didn’t even know you were some popular guy till today…” you mumble

Sae glances at you, in his thoughts he felt sort of relieved but still on guard.

“You followed me to the ocean, so I assumed”

“I didn't follow you. I was walking around taking photos. We just found each other there, same place and same time.”

“Maria said you were going to be a journalist, you people are nosy.”

“Sounds like you're nosy asking around about me”

“You talked to Maria about me”

“What— she told you?”

“No, I heard it”

“I was…just asking around. It’s not like I had your number till tonight.”

“Exactly, nosy.” Sae parked his car in front of your apartment waiting for you to leave

“Thanks, I really appreciate it—and I didn’t mean to be nosy.” And with that you hopped out of the side, leaving it cold and empty once again. Sae made sure you entered the building safely before heading off. Deep in his careless cold heart, it was you.

.

.

.

Nya

[isa-beenme]

I'm currently writing three things at the same time, but I felt a need to write something sad, something to break my heart and break all of you along, I can't be sad alone, thank you

The plot is basically: every bat boy's mate deal with depression in a different way, or "three different approaches of depression to three different brothers" (I felt so funny when I thought about this one)

So... do we want a part 2?

Trigger Warning: Self-destructive thoughts, depression

Prompt: Prythian saw the way that Rhysand's mate fell into depression but tried her best to get better. They saw the way that Cassian's mate fell into depression and turned it into pure anger and self-destruction. But... what if Azriel's mate simply... doesn't care?

What Was I Made For? (Part. 1)

Maria (Part. 2)

Four Seasons (Part. 3)

Sometimes I wish I didn't exist.

Not in the sense that I want to die. Far from it. I dread the thought of my own death. If I stop and imagine what happens afterward, I feel on the verge of panicking. Not death. Never death.

However, I like to think about how everything would be so much easier if I simply didn't exist. The number of responsibilities I could just let go of. The countless times I wouldn't have to rush and cry out of despair for feeling so useless would simply diminish. I would be so happy if I didn't exist.

I started thinking about this when I was 14.

It's been 500 years, and I remain the same.

Five hundred whole years where I feel inclined to ask the Mother to not exist.

But I do exist.

And that's what intrigues me.

I don't know who I am, and I just can't find something I like. There's nothing that keeps me here. Really.

That scares me.

A lot.

I mean, I spent my whole life studying in the Day Court, participating in politics, and learning from the High Lord Helion himself. I was supposed to be his successor. But then Lucien came into the scene and I became his spare. Or second in command. Works the same.

My objective was easy enough, everything I knew, I should teach him. And I did. We had fun. I guess. And then his father made a party to invite his "friends" for a celebration. He told me they weren't really his friends. I understood that feeling.

The Inner Circle of the Night Court sat across from us at the table. It didn't take long for the mating bond to snap between me and the Shadowsinger. The celebration became even bigger when he smiled at me.

And I smiled back.

I mean, how couldn't I, right? He seemed gentle and caring and his face was very pleasant to look at.

He courted me. He flirted, sent gifts, and traveled to the Day Court's capital every often to see me. I'm not sure what love means but I'm pretty sure it's something close to what I felt inside of me every time he looked into my eyes and smiled.

And yet, I feel I could not exist and it wouldn't change a thing.

But if I could make him happy maybe I would understand everyone's desire to be alive. I would understand what it is like to fight for your own life with the necessity to live another day.

That's why I accepted the mating bond.

We had a party. A dinner. A house. Vacations. Damn, the tower of gifts we had to open after almost three weeks of pure sex took me a month.

And yet, I feel I could not exist and it wouldn't change a thing.

We moved to Velaris. My role in the Day Court was long forgotten. I mean, I just said I don't care about anything, how could I care about a job I had just because I was good at it?

Being good at something doesn't mean I really need to live for it.

If so, I would be a dancer. Because I'm amazing at it, I have trophies, experience, and talent. But I'm not a dancer.

If so, I would be an actress. Because I'm amazing at it, I participated in hundreds of pieces, and interpreted tons of characters. But I'm not an actress.

If so, I would be a cook. Because I'm amazing at it, I'm the one in charge of making every meal and every cake for people's birthdays. But I'm not a cook.

If so, I would be a warrior. But I'm not a warrior.

If so, I would be a painter. But I'm not a painter.

If so, I would be a singer. But I'm not a singer.

If so, I would be a seamstress. But I'm not a seamstress.

And when I came to Velaris, almost two years ago I became Azriel's mate. And I hate it.

We easily fell into a routine with his Inner Circle. And now, there's no family that makes me want to keep on living. In fact, most of the time I feel even more exhausted when I'm with my family. Or Azriel's family, if I'm being real.

I feel suffocated by an enthusiasm and freedom I can't keep up with. My family isn't bad, not by a long shot, and certainly not up close. They are great. They stand up for the right causes, love to have fun, and are very liberal about any topic.

Except when the topic is me.

I'm the newest but also the oldest among all the female mates. And that kind of put me on a pedestal I never asked for. Something like: "If she did it, you could too, Feyre"; or else: "Even she couldn't do it, Nestha, don't worry about it"; I'm not a unit of measurement, but sometimes it feels like I'm nothing more than that.

Except when I'm with Lucien. He is the exception to the rule of 'I feel suffocated within the family circle'. I'm his favorite friend, obviously, but that's not the reason why we are so good together. He understands me and seems to grasp the feeling of not wanting to exist, even though we've never talked about it. So, he just exists by my side. And that's exactly what I need.

I don't worry about depression.

Or should I?

I am happy. Truly happy.

Not that people with depression aren't happy.

They must be.

I hope they are.

But sometimes I imagine myself going to a healer's office and pouring out everything I feel. But I never know where to start. So, I stop imagining.

I'm usually happy. Very happy. And this happens with my friends. Or anywhere away from my family. Everyone annoys me in some way. Except for Lucien.

Even when I'm alone, I feel extremely happy. Especially when I'm alone. Whenever I'm alone.

I actually hate studying. Which is basically my job.

But if that means staying away from my family, I seriously consider doing volunteer work at the Library during vague hours. Get a full-time job. Anything to keep me away. And contrary to expectations, I don't feel bad about thinking this way. I don't care.

And that scares me even more.

I don't care, and I don't react. Sometimes, I fall into a vast abyss of overwhelming emptiness, unable to separate reality from what's happening in my mind. I don't feel inclined to react with jokes or anything else. I don't care if they argue with me, yell, speak ill of me in the room next door, or debate on how to 'punish' me when I'm three steps away on the sidewalk.

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

I've made my friends cry trying to prove a point I believe is right. It doesn't matter.

I've cried in front of friends so they'd accept what I was saying. It doesn't matter.

I also have the terrible habit of always wanting to be right. In everything. It doesn't matter if I'm wrong, it doesn't matter if someone will get hurt. I ALWAYS have to be right.

Sometimes I imagine I'm going too far in this abyss to the point of hurting myself. Or others.

And here's another characteristic of mine. I imagine too much. Most likely, I have three or four books written somewhere in my room. But I don't feel inclined to publish them or continue writing. It was just a phase. Just like everything else.

Just like my mating bond with Azriel. I love him, but… I'm not like the High Lord's or the General's mates. They… live for them.

I mean, Feyre is an amazing person, she's such a sweetheart. But as High Lady? I swear, she's more like a city mayor than anything else, she can barely read a full sentence without getting a headache from too much effort.

And Nestha? What a fearless female. She's amazing! But being the General of the Valkyries? Come on. They can't possibly think that, just because they cut a miserable string, they are actually able to fight as a battalion. Right?

Maybe I'm mean for thinking like that. Maybe I'm stupid. Or hateful. Or fake. Or cruel.

So I never say anything.

I keep imagining them. Every day.

It's fun.

Sometimes I like Azriel more than I like myself.

But I like most people more than I like myself.

Sometimes I hate myself.

Sometimes I like myself.

There's a thin line between my two states of mind.

Sometimes I think it's my fault.

Sometimes I think it's my mate's fault.

I don't feel bad about hating him whenever I feel anger spread through me. He also triggers the emptiness in my chest sometimes. He can be annoying with all his senseless conversations. The way he lives his life annoys me even more. Because he can do everything.

He's Azriel, the Shadowsinger, the Spymaster, the poor thing, the one who didn't grow up in a good place, the cute one, the funny one, the pretty one, the hot one, the smart one, the-

I don't know.

If I let the anger get me it will soon vanish. Just like every other feeling I ever let myself have.

You know the feeling of losing something you never knew you actually cared about? That's how I feel about my freedom. Not that Azriel took my freedom meaning that he restrains what I do or like I miss my single life (if I'm being honest I was never a lover to no one, Azriel was my second or third). But this bond took it from me.

I used to float around, doing different things every single day, but now I just fall down and down and down into my inner abyss. I could've been a dancer, an actress, a cook, a warrior, a painter, a singer, or a seamstress because I had the freedom to try it. Maybe I don't want to live for it but I want to live with it. Now I'm… his mate.

I used to know I was empty, but I'm not sure now that this bond keeps flooding itself with love and fear and pain and happiness.

I don't know what I was made for.

I don't know how to feel secure. But I wanna try. I don't know how to feel truly happy. But someday I might… Someday I might… try.

When did it all end? All the enjoyment. All the feelings.

It doesn't matter.

None of this matters.

Since I was 14, nothing matters.

And I wouldn't mind just not existing.

But I want to know what I was made for.

That's why I'm leaving.

[beevean]

...you know I just realized

The season wants to put all of this emphasis on Maria's grief over Tera because she was/is her mom

...but what about Richter? Tera was his foster mother, she's basically the woman who raised him just as much as Maria, and this makes it the second time he's lost a mother...yet after the first episode Richter doesn't even think about the loss of Tera beyond how it's affecting Maria, like she was just some stranger

As a matter of fact the same goes for Tera: all of her current thoughts and affections are for her biological daughter but she spares absolutely nothing for the boy she's raised for over 10 years!

But hey I guess that blood ties are more important than anything right?

Four episodes in, you could cut out Richter and nothing would change. He doesn't do a thing except for making a stupid mistake, getting ship teased with Annette and getting yelled at by Maria and Alucard. Literally the only development we got so far is him being concerned for Annette. I really do hope that something happens in the second half, because good god, Trevor really would be proud of him and how much he's getting pissed on by the writing.

Hey :) remember when Sam Deats swore and double swore that he cared a lot about Richter's grief and legacy? To the point of using his own dead father as a shield against criticism? :) i do :) i hope he meant to deliver :)

I could have forgiven this line, you know. Richter is appropriately offended, and it's clear from Maria's next words that she is lashing out at him because he took her away from Tera, meaning that she feels guilty for being powerless so she's choosing to blame him for "running away". It's harsh, it's cruel, but she's not thinking straight. Grief is like that.

But then you consider everything. How Richter keeps getting insulted, because Annette also hit him in his mom trauma when she mocked him for not being able to do magic. How Maria has always been very aggressive, and her behavior is really not much different now that she's furious than when she was just Generic Revolutionary. And, as you said, how the show so far seems to have forgotten that Tera was Richter's adoptive mother too for the sake of giving an arc to Maria - hell, Richter no longer shows any sign of PTSD over his own bio mom dying, no nightmares, no thoughts about Olrox, nothing. And now, once again, I'm not sure how wrong she's meant to be.

[bigmack2go]

Newbie Newsies

A guide for new Newsie fans

Chapter two: Characters

Previous chapter: the basics->•

Chapter index ->•

Imma just start lf with a basic list of Characters. Only names. Nothing else. Then i‘ll give you the looks (and versions of that) and actors that played them and how to reckognise them (also split in versions) bc theres A L O T so like whos who‘sies

Then i‘ll tell you about some oc‘s and then i‘ll go into some lore for each of the characters that have one. That includes fannon

Imma try not to go TOO much into detail bc this is gonna be long enough as it is and there already are posts about them

Characters

This isn’t gonna have any specific order i literally not even sure if i didnt miss any.

Jack “Cowboy“ Kelly/ Francis Sullivan

Davey (“a walkin mouth”) Jacobs

Sarah Jacobs

Les Jacobs

Ed “Racetrack” Higgins

?“Spot” Conlon

Romeo ?

Katherine Plumber (but actually Pullitzer)

?“Mush” Meyers

Louis “Kid Blink” Balletti

Albert DaSilva

Isaac “Ike” ?

Michael “Mike”

Patrick ? ?

Hotshot “Hotshot” Hotshot

? Smalls ?

Jeany “Mack” MacDonald

Archie “Sniper” Wah

Niklas “York” ?

Samuel “Specs”?

Gabe “Boots” Argus

?”scobe”?

Patrick “Finch” Cortes

Elmer Kasprzak (pls tell me i spelled this right)

(Benjamin) “buttons” Davenport

Josephino Jorgelino “JoJo” De laGuerra (this is not a joke. That is his name.)

Kenny?

?”Graves”?

Niamh??

?Myron?

?”Splint”?

(Charlie) “Crutchie” Morris

Henry?

? “Skittery”?

?”bumlets”?

?”swifty”?

Gabriel “snaps” ?

?”splasher”?

?”comet”?

?”pie eater”

Thomas “Tommy boy”?

?”snipeshooter”?

?(“tumbler”)?

?”goldie”?

Looks

Imma have to handle this w repost cuz u can only add ten photos and all that ykyk

Jack:

His main four appearances are christian bale (92‘sies), jeremy jordan (obc and livesies), corey cott (broadway and toursies (i think)) michael ahomka (uk‘sies) and pierre marias (TUTS)

Imma be honest i wanted to list everyone that plyed the characters but i don’t think i can even find that all so im just gonna go woth the most famous ones each

Basically the only thing thats always the same about him is the vest

Davey has been played by David Moscow(92‘sies) Ben Fankhauser (obc& live‘sies) ryan kopel (uk‘sies) and Ben Diamond (TUTS)

He usually has a rather small face and a prominent nose. His hair has always been dark so far. He always has something blue about him sticking out/ is generally held in a blue vibe.

Sarah was played by ela keats. She was only in 92‘sies. She was originally planned to be in the theatre versions but her character was cut completely.

She has lightbrown/darkblonde long hair and- well theres only one actress so u can see for urself

The most famous Race‘s have been Max Castella (92‘sies), Ryan breslin (obc), ben cook (livesies) and josh barnet (uk‘sies) and Cole Zieser (TUTS)

[krafterwrites]

Ok, time for the one post I'll make about Sonic 3 itself now that it's out. Since there's already a full recording of it available online, I'm going to write down my "live reactions" (I already know basically everything that's going to happen, but I'm sure there's at least one or two small surprises left) below the cut so I can get this movie out of my system and move on

The first lines of dialogue are a "Cops love donuts" joke. Off to a great start

A gambling ad popped up right as Shadow broke out and started attacking people gljkdfgh

4 minutes in and they've already used the leitmotif of Live And Learn 3 times

Shadow being sopping wet and miserable is pretty cute

Ace already said this but wow they really did ruin the "Talk about low budget flights line", Sonic saying it feels soooo unnatural and shoehorned in

Unless it's for a really good sequence, I don't understand the point of playing a licensed song for literally 10 seconds

Wow the opening fight with all three of them against Shadow is super short

I'm glad that the gun isn't just for show and he actually gets to use it

I seriously cannot get over how stupid Shadow coming from a meteor is, the entire POINT of his character is that he was created. He was born to be the ultimate lifeform, to be a cure for Maria, to bring hope to humanity. Him just randomly showing up instead of specifically being created undermines his entire identity. Also, Gerald creating Shadow is incredibly important to his identity as well. It's almost impressive that they managed to fuck up so much with a single decision

The dialogue has already made me cringe a few times but that was definitely the worst instance so far. I wish they would stop

YIPPEE OFFICER DOWN!!!

Walters having a photo of Team Sonic in his jacket that was taken like 5 minutes beforehand so Rockwell can pick it up to illustrate that she thinks Team Sonic killed him is kind of strange and unnecessary

I thought that the show Eggman was watching was another gambling ad for a second

Eggman said boobs. Sure why not

I forgot that they're allowed to swear a bit

I thought they were going to reference Among Us when Stone said imposter. I wish they did, it would've been an actually acceptable pop culture reference

I'm kind of torn on the flashback montage with Maria. It feels a little too silly and lighthearted, but it is cute to see her and Shadow do a bunch of childish stuff together

However, her not being terminally ill and also not spending her entire life in space is dumb. Those are both very important to who she is, and consequently, who Shadow is (he was initially made to be a cure for her, and her love for the planet that she never got to see is what motivates him). I know both of these are consequences of them making Shadow come from a meteor, but there was literally no reason for them to do that, especially considering it messed up him, Gerald, AND Maria. Why would they make that choice when it doesn't add anything and has such a high cost

The Biolizard puppet is cute, though. They should've actually included it (along with Rouge, Amy, and all the other things they omitted), but I guess it's better than nothing

Oh god Gerald is here. I was thinking "So far this isn't as hard to watch as I thought it would be" but it's probably going to get significantly more painful soon

That was a Family Guy cutaway gag

How is a bunch of loose popcorn still in pristine condition after 50 years of sitting out in the open

That was a bad fourth wall joke. Also get on it, this has been going on for like 2-3 minutes

So if we're meant to believe that Shadow's quill is what kept Gerald alive, can Shadow basically just grant people immortality at will? Or is there really just no explanation for him living longer than any human should be able to

I'm glad that the scene of Eggman and Gerald doing stuff together in VR didn't go on for that long, because it felt like the scene of them meeting felt so dragged out

For a split second I thought the music was using the leitmotif of Dreams Of An Absolution, but then I realized that its Green Hill

The puppet only has like 15 seconds of screentime but it's still SO unnecessary

Shadow saying "revenge guac" is stupid but it did not make me cringe like some of the other lines have so far

Tom using the hologram tech to disguise as Randall... Not my place to speak so I'm not going to say anything, but I don't think that was a good idea

Pointless extended bit of Jim Carrey doing comedy with himself number 3. And I know there's at least one more after this. Why did they have to focus on him so heavily

YESSSSSS thank you Shadow, we all wanted to see that happen. Keep up the good work

I hate that Wade got to appear at all, but at least his screentime is brief

It sucks that we just get Gerald saying "It's not about what Maria wanted, it's about what they deserve" to convince Shadow to get revenge, because that's the opposite of how he motivated Shadow in SA2, he made it seem like revenge is what Maria wanted

When I first saw the commander trying to wrestle away the gum through a leak, I laughed my ass off. It's so stupid. Also I knew they would be cowards and not actually show her getting shot, but it's still annoying

Maria not actually getting to say her last words to Shadow, on top of him not being made by Gerald, really is a one-two punch of completely destroying his SA2 characterization (and his characterization in general). It's insulting to Maria too, how do you manage to take away agency from a character who's entire narrative purpose is to die for the sake of another character's backstory

Also, now that the plot has moved into space, I can say with even more certainty that there truly was no reason for them to use Tokyo and London instead of San Francisco. The only thing gained from using Tokyo is the Chao cafe, and the only thing gained from using London is about a minute or two of basic pop culture references. I'm pretty sure they only picked them because they're two of the most famous cities in the world, which is dumb

I hate that Shadow's arc is about letting go of anger and not seeking revenge, that's completely different from what his story is in SA2, they're barely comparable even on a surface level. His actual arc is about being unsure of who he is and why he exists, being used as a tool for revenge by Gerald, and eventually breaking free of that programming to discover that he was created to bring hope to humanity

The Eggman vs Gerald stuff is the stupidest shit ever, and it's made even worse by the fact that it keeps interrupting the Sonic and Shadow scenes

I hate to say that when I first saw Gerald's death through a leak, I (involuntary) burst out laughing. It's supremely stupid and I do not like it, but it's just so absurd that it's hard not to react in some way

The moon thing kinda makes me mad tbh. This movie loves to make references to iconic things from SA2 instead of actually adapting them

The finale is pretty cool visually, but conceptually, it's a really big downgrade from the original. It's comprised of a super form battle between Sonic and Shadow, a cartoon slapfight between Eggman and Gerald, Sonic and Shadow easily blasting through a bunch of GUN Hunters, them blocking the laser while it gets steered away with an actual steering wheel, and then Shadow physically pushing the ARK away by himself. SA2 featured everyone except Shadow working together to reach the deepest part of the ARK as it hurtled towards the Earth, Shadow rushing in to fight the Biolizard while Sonic and Knuckles neutralize the core's energy, and then Sonic and Shadow being forced to go super after the Biolizard fuses itself to the colony in order to continue Gerald's plan, ending with them both using Chaos Control together to put it back in place

I was going to write a summary after I finished watching, but honestly, Eggman took the words right out of my mouth when he said "It's been a real drag. Thanks for nothing" and then died in an explosion

[dreaming-of-barbi]

Maria & Sugars first interaction

small story thingy

Maria is @lovesick-on-the-loose 's oc !!!! She is the best !!

Sorry if the formatting is weird, I copied this from discord

Sugar walked slowly towards the large entrance, large flat doors with no handle similar to an elevator, her hands already adjusting and fidgeting her somewhat tangled brown hair. She was reluctant to go any further, her heart still nearly about to explode from beating so hard after their "test".

What was this place??

These doctors made her carry some sort of giant doll made to resemble a child to a large, gorey grinder, all while demanding she forget her entire past through tv screens and weird subliminal wording. Telling her to forget who she was, start a new life. Restart with a clean slate.

She did what they asked, avoided that incredibly angry puppet master lady and now... they were going who knows where? They were already so exhausted but they had no other choice than to continue.

As they approached the heavy doors they slid open rather abruptly, allowing them through. Inside there was a young woman, humming a simple hymn, a familiar tune they hadn't heard in many years. It made their stomach churn.

Would she try to kill them, too?

The Demon hissed and snarled, already feeling on edge as they entered the room. Sugar was no better, her mind racing with every terrible possibility.

The woman turned to face her, a warm smile gracing her features. She was pale with dark pink lipstick, her wavy, medium length hair tied into a loose ponytail over her left shoulder. She had soft, deep chestnut brown eyes. She looked tired.

This lady wasn't too threatening, and this was the cleanest room they had seen in this place, so far...

"Maybe she's nice..."

"Sugar, keep your head up. We've already been through some weird shit, who knows what could happen here... Look at all this religion, propaganda, weird bullshit on the walls...! I don't trust this."

The Demon was steadfast, not about to drop their guard. They had just gotten into the groove of this place, and it seemed fun, gore and viscera was always a good time but if they were gonna bring that jesus fuck head asshole into this -

"Sugar, right? Hello, my name is Maria. It's nice to meet you."

Their trainwreck of thought was interrupted as Maria spoke, her voice gentle, soft spoken, though it still caused Sugar to jump. Sugar nodded and swallowed a bit, turning her head away from Maria to hide her face.

Maria paid no mind, turning to make sure her supplies were in order and locating the clipboard she had been given with Sugars "medical records". She made her way to a large, tall metal table, leather covering the top part of it. Sugar was very unsure about what was happening, hesitating for a few long minutes after Maria asked her to come and sit on the table-like object. She glanced around the room again, noting the large glass window next to the table with another Murkoff "scientist" observing what happened. This had to be a trap.

Still, the only way through this place was forward, and the Demon was even becoming impatient with Sugar.

"C'mon, we gotta get this shit done already." It whined at her.

She slowly approached Maria, and once she was there she just... stood. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. Her muscles were tense, ready to bolt at the slightest sign of danger.

Anything could happen...

After a long moment of basically nothing happening Maria spoke up, quietly asking Sugar to climb up onto the table.

Of course she didn't want to, but she did it anyways, her eyes watching Maria's hands like a hawk for any sudden movement.

Once she was on the table Maria walked over to the sink behind them, washing her hands and then putting on a clean pair of gloves, all while still humming that hymn. The Demon was sick of it, but it didn't bother trying to say anything.

Maria approached Sugar once again, Sugar scooting back just slightly to create a bit of distance between them once again.

Maria was careful and slow, warning them that she would need to move their hair and examine the area where Murkoff had drilled in the headset... the one the Demon basically ripped off their head within minutes of their "test"...

Sugar did not want to do that, her heartrate speeding up even more at the thought. She turned to glance at Maria for a moment, all at once both her and the Demon noticing the cross around Maria's neck. The reaction from both of them was rather panicked, nearly falling backwards at the sight. All of this had to be a trap, it had to be!

The Demon hissed at Sugar to get them the fuck out of there, this place was wack, not safe for them, clearly. Sugar's wide eyes couldn't leave the cross, memories of The "Elders" racing through her mind. She was stuck, remembering how they would take her in for examinations like this... all coming back to her at the sight of that small cross. Of course that's that what was happening. They were being "punished for their sins" again, like always. Screamed at for being a demon, and of course now they couldn't deny it!

Maria noticed their sudden change in demeanor, following Sugar's gaze down to the cross and she quickly moved and hid it under her dress without a second thought before stepping back. She would give them time and a moment of space.

Sugar and The Demon are both somewhat dumbfounded. Did she really do that? Recognized their fear? She didn't even yell at them about it...

Sugar finally looked up, meeting Maria's eyes even for the first time, if only for a moment before looking away again.

Finally she inches closer and sort of moved her own hair out of the way so Maria could examine her temples.

Nothing needed to be said. It was clear that they trusted her, at least slightly more than before.

Maria thanked them and was quickly at work, though it soon shifted from examining the drill site to examining the large scar across Sugar's face.

Maria looked worried, trying to be careful as she looked at some of the spots that had healed more than others. If she didn't know any better she'd say the flesh was regrowing but... that wasn't possible, right?

She attempted to touch some of the reforming skin, earning a startled gasp from Sugar as she flinched away. It was painful, too?

She didn't have anything she could say, beginning to try and say something before she trailed off and seemed to get lost in her own thoughts again.

Carefully, she let go of Sugar's hair and turned, walking over to the clipboard holding Sugars papers and unclipping them. She shuffled through the documents, an almost pit-like feeling forming within her gut as she studied all of the papers, trying not to let her horror show on her face.

X-rays showing Sugar's skull revealed that her bone looked like it was regrown, resembling conditions where the human skeleton grows extra mass, but it was reforming. She could see visible fractures that had been restitched unnaturally.

She glanced at Sugar and back to the paperwork a few times, in pure disbelief of what she saw. She finally spoke after a moment, her words shaky and hesitant;

"I-I don't understand, how are you--"

No! There's no way she'd say that to this girl, not after how frightened she had acted at just the sight of her cross necklace. She shook her head a little bit at the thought, swallowing and thinking of a way to rephrase her words.

"How am I alive~?"

Maria's shot up from looking at the papers, looking at Sugar again. She was facing Maria now, head tilted very far to the left side, showing her teeth in a wide grin. The side of her face with the scar didn't lift as much, struggling to move with the rest of her healthy side. Maria could see her teeth resembled the bone in the X-rays, a little more smooth, but it was clearly still "reformed". Glancing down at the X-rays and then back up at Sugar-- yup, she had sharp teeth on the side that had regrown.

What trials and tribulations did the lord test her with now?

"Sugar" stood up, taking a few steps towards Maria, still grinning. Not blinking. It eyed her up and down, scoffing at her after it did so.

"You don't frighten me. All the scriptures in the world couldn't get to me, okay? Don't try anything stupid with me."

"What? No I jus- " Maria attempted to interject, but was spoken over quickly.

"Don't play dumb with me, sweetheart. You're smart. You can figure it out."

"She" was cocky, sticking out her tongue at Maria before her eyes rolled back and she nearly collapsed.

Sugar caught herself, still stumbling and falling to the ground but thankfully catching herself before she hit her head on something. She picked herself up shakily, wiping away whatever dust had clung to her as if this was all too normal, though her expression gave away how very worried she was.

Once again that thing inside her had to go and pull a stunt like this, making her out to be crazy and stupid like always. At least Maria was nice about it...

Maria caught her attention by taking a step towards Sugar with something in her hand. She was holding a small syringe.

She was going to knock Sugar out, report this behavior... Why wouldn't she?

Sugar stepped away, blurting out a million apologies for what happened before being shushed by Maria;

"This should help with the pain, and I'm going to prescribe you something to take so your skin doesn't feel so sensitive. I'd like you to come back see me tomorrow, if that's alright? I'll let them know so you aren't given a hard time about it." She said as though it was matter of fact, not even acknowledging Sugar's apologies.

Come see her tomorrow? Did Sugar hear her correctly?? There was no way she would let that happen after seeing how batshit the Demon had her acting...

Of course, Sugar nodded her head and allowed Maria to give her the injection, wincing at the sting but ultimately feeling relieved at the slight pain relief. She hadn't realized how much her scar hurt, she must have gotten used to it...

Soon the "check up" was over and they were on their way to the sleep room, such an odd sensation in their chest as they walked into that cold, dingy bunker room.

Fluttery, light, warm... Maria had been so kind.

A beacon of light in this terrifying place.

[mariatesstruther]

okay more on jackson’s senior center based off this post:

- it started as just miss shirley and her best friend darla wanting to live together and asking maria if she could maybe find a house for them to settle in together instead of living apart

- before this, mama shirley and darla would have to walk five houses each way to see each other for afternoon tea, which just won’t do. mama shirley is 92 and darla is 90 now, and both of them are too old to be have to walking that much everyday, mama shirley tells maria. she quickly and vehemently agrees

- maria has the idea of fixing a house up for jackson’s senior citizens to live in if they’d like to. it takes a lot of unnecessary convincing to get the council to dedicate one of jackson’s best houses to a maximum of five people, but maria gets it done. they pick one of the few houses that are placed in the farther back part of jackson, near the farm and the daycare center, so that it can be far-reaching from the entrance of jackson

- the first people to movie in are shirley and darla, who share a room on the second floor (thanks to tommy replacing the stairs in the house with a reliable ramp with a wall-attached handlebar)

- gary moves in not long after he breaks his left hip while herding the goats. he likes that the house is designed to be wheel-chair access and far away from most people in town. he also likes it because he can be close to darla, who he has feelings for, but nobody knows about that except for tommy and joel

- mr. wilson moves in on maria’s insistence that he’ll get hurt if he continues to live alone and try to do everything himself. his name is harold, but he insists that anyone younger than him calls him mr. wilson on account of maintaining a respectful distance. he’s a grumpy, gruff old asshole that reminds joel more of bill than bill himself, but he’s also known to do anything and everything maria tells him with only a small amount of grumbling. somehow, she convinces him to move in after he accidentally sets his kitchen on fire trying to make himself a pocketknife (which?????? maria still doesn’t have an answer for????? why harold was trying to do that????)

- last but not least is sandra dee, jackson’s oldest and most enigmatic member. nobody really knows where she came from or what her story is: she’s the only one of jackson’s seniors that managed to get to town on her own, arriving to town at 94 about a year after its founding with nothing but a backpack and three handguns. she clamed to be sandra, but they’re not entirely sure if sandra dee is her real name. she hums songs from musicals all the time and has expressed that grease was always her favorite. at least once a month she requests to go hunting with patrol and gets mad when maria tells her no

- senior center tea: shirley and darla have longstanding beef with sandra dee because she always cheats at cards during game night, shirley knows about gary being sweet on darla but is lowkey jealous about it because SHE is sweet on darla, and everyone thinks mr. wilson has a thing for maria but he actually told her in confidence last month that he is actually sweet on gary. mama shirley and mr. wilson can’t STAND each other

- tommy calls the seniors the jackson five. all of them call him thomas. he and joel bring them all basic living supplies at least once a week, but are known to be around there pretty often

tsym for anyone having interest in this pls feel free to add anything u want!!

tagging :))) @clickergossip @nerdieforpedro @mrsmando @callmekittenandyourmajesty @steeb-stn (ty for the idea of putting it next to the daycare!) @thatoneobsessedlinguist-writes

[cosmicjoke]

I love your analysis and how well you understand Levi'e character and I have a question if you don't mind 😊

I had a conversation with one of my friends the other day and we talked about Levi and whether he was suited to be a commander, my friend said that she think he is very stable and she didn't understand why Erwin didn't put Levi as the commander after his death, as Levi's dream died when Erwin did (pay this no mind tho, she is a shipper and can be blinded by that a lot)

I disagreed with her and told her that Levi as a captain makes way more sense given his character and the way he works. Not to mention that Hanji is a perfect replacement in my opinion as they are smart and they suit leading the scouts more. I disagreed with her on the point that Levi's dream died with Erwin because Levi's dream was to free humanity from the Titans and not Erwin but that's beside the point, as I already brought up my friend is a shipper so having these conversations with her can be a headache

Anyway, my question for you is, do you think that Levi should've become Commander after Erwin's death? And what kind of Commander do you think Levi would be? Sorry if you got this question already, I did try looking for it in your blog but couldn't find anything. Have nice day 😊

Hi there, and thank you so much for such an interesting ask! I don't think I've ever been asked specifically about this, as far as I can recall.

Anyway, it's a really good question.

Just to start off with a basic answer, I agree with you that I don't think Levi would be particularly suited to the role of commander, and for the very simple reason that Levi simply cares too much about other people's lives. I think it would be too difficult for him, ultimately, to send other people off to die, even if it was for the so called "greater good". I think Erwin probably understood this about Levi, that it would impede his ability to to make certain judgement calls in the heat of battle. Levi's natural inclination is always going to be to save lives. If left to his own devices, I think that's the direction he would always, generally take. Under Erwin's command, because he trusted in Erwin's judgement more than his own, because he trusted Erwin's judgement above his own instincts, even, he was able to cede his own, natural inclination to Erwin's orders.

But we see, during the battle to retake Wall Maria, when Levi makes the call for Erwin to lead the other scouts in a charge against the Beast Titan, the toll that takes on him. He takes Erwin's burden onto himself in that moment, making the decision to allow all of these soldiers to die in order to give humanity a chance at a future, and in order to free Erwin from the corrupting influence of his own dream, but it costs Levi a LOT. Levi is guilt-ridden by what he's had to do in this moment. When Erwin is giving the orders to the hundred scouts, Levi stands beside him, but he's unable to look at any of the other soldiers. And when he's making his way to Zeke, and watches Erwin and the others charging to their deaths, he tells them with open sorrow that he's sorry. And we see afterward how their deaths continued to haunt him, for years. His emphatic desire to kill Zeke was completely rooted in his need to make sure those men and women didn't die for nothing. He was driven by a desperation to make sure that didn't happen. To make sure they didn't sacrifice their lives for no reason.

Basically, Levi just isn't built for commandership because he's too deeply affected by death. It weighs on him too heavily to ever be a really effective leader. He isn't able to detach himself emotionally the way Erwin was. He becomes too attached, too invested in the lives of other people. His heart is too sensitive for that kind of task.

Now, with that said, it's interesting, because Levi ultimately DOES take on a leadership role in the most pressing and important moments of the story, and IS able to make the call to sacrifice lives in order to save others. He does it in Shinganshina, of course. He does it before then too, during the Uprising Arc, when he's willing to make the call to let Erwin die in order to rescue Eren. He does it in the forest with Zeke, when he kills his own comrades turned titans in order to go after and stop Zeke. And he does it in the Battle of Heaven and Earth, when he makes the call for Mikasa, himself and Pieck to get on Falco's back, knowing they're the only ones left who will be able to stop Eren, knowing that all the others are going to die.

So Levi absolutely can and has taken on a leadership role in the most vital moments, when that's been asked of him. That he's able to do that, despite how deeply it goes against his very nature, is just further testament to his selflessness. Even as it leaves him truly bereft and devastated, it's something he's willing to do, if it means saving more lives.

But I've spoken before about how Levi is also someone who understands the importance of compassion over ideology, and he's someone who lets his heart dictate to him his actions, sometimes over cold logic, and for someone in charge of an entire military branch, that might be considered a detriment.

So on the one hand, I think Levi absolutely can be an effective leader. I think he's someone who can push aside his own, natural inclinations in order to fulfill his duty, if he really believes it's the right thing. But on the other hand, it isn't a role he's naturally suited to at all. He just cares too much about people. He's too attached to other people. Again, I think Erwin understood that, and I think he declined to make Levi the next commander because he knew it would have a devastating affect on him, to be forced into a role where he had to allow people to die, to be the one to make those kinds of decisions, when Levi naturally carries with him such a powerful, emotional connection to other people and their lives. When the thing Levi cares most about is preserving life and protecting life.

And he probably also knew that, eventually, Levi wouldn't be able to make certain calls required of the commander. I remember Isayama said in an interview that Levi was inspired by Rorschach, a character from "The Watchman". If anyone's ever read that comic, or seen the film, they know that Rorschach is a character wholly dictated by his sense of morality. In the end, his former compatriot, Ozymandias, concocts a plan to prevent a global, nuclear holocaust by nuking an entire city of people, killing countless innocents in the process, thus showing the world the true cost of a nuclear war. Rorschach is appalled by this, and is unwilling to keep silent about it, concluding that the truth can't be kept from the world. That people have the right to know. Because of his unwillingness to lie about it, because of his unwillingness to participate in such a manipulation of the masses, because of his unwillingness to compromise his morals, Dr. Manhattan, another of his former compatriots, murders him, in order to uphold the lie and maintain, at least for the time being, a tentative world peace.

I'm sure you can see the parallels here with Levi. Levi isn't someone who can or will compromise what he thinks is right, ever. Whatever he believes, genuinely and in his heart, to be the right thing, that's what he's going to do, every time. We see that manifest in his choice in Shinganshina with the serum. He'll always go with his heart. And being commander, being in a position of power like that, often requires one to compromise their moral beliefs in order to advance a certain agenda. We see it happen with Hange, when she decides to keep certain information about Eren from the public of Paradis, lying about it, when before, the most important thing to her had been getting the truth out to them. Those are the kinds of things Levi, ultimately, wouldn't be able to do.

What it boils down to, in the end, is that Levi is simply too pure of heart to be a good commander.

He can do certain things, make certain hard choices, if he believes it to be the right thing. But if he was ever faced with a situation in which he had to do something that really went against what he felt in his heart was right, he wouldn't be able to do it, and you need to be able to do those things, sometimes, if you're going to have that role.

Anyway, I hope I was able to give a good answer here, and once again, thank you so much for the great ask!

[cowgurrrl]

So This Is Love

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: this came to me in a fever dream

Summary: A Beach Day [1.5k]

Warnings: time jump kinda (Sam is 17 and the girls are 13), me giving Dina and Jesse last names (Caradonna and Pierce) because Neil Druckman couldn’t, Lucy is Tommy and Maria’s daughter 🥸, family life, fluff

If there's one thing you've realized about your family, it's that they love nothing more than a beach day. Sam will almost immediately ask when you're going to the beach when temperatures get past the eighties. His follow-up question is always, "And can Penelope's family come with us?" Because it can never just be a Miller beach day, it has to be a Miller-Hernandez-Garcia-Long-Caradonna-Pierce beach day. As the kids have gotten older and your lives more hectic, it's nice to have a chance to get away every once in a while. Sarah, Ethan, and Isaac will drive in from Sacramento, and Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and JJ will meet you guys there since they don't live far from you, Joel, and the kids. Joel and Ryan inevitably become pack mules because they refuse to let you or Carolina carry anything, and you've both learned not to argue with them. 

That's what today has consisted of. You, Sarah, Carolina, and Maria sit in the sand as you watch your husbands unload beach chairs, towels, coolers, sand castle molds, and more. It took Sam all of ten seconds to break into Fun Uncle Mode and start a game of football with Isaac and JJ, Penelope, and Lucy joining the boys. Elizabeth, Victoria, Sophia, and Violet sit in a circle with supplies to make bracelets and whatever books they're reading at their feet, gossiping just out of earshot of their uncool parents. Ellie, Dina, and Jesse have given up on arguing with Joel about helping to unpack and have settled on wading through the water, splashing each other when they're not looking. They make a sweet little family. Unconventional, sure, but loving and amazing, nevertheless.

Once the Hernandez-Miller-Long boys unload all their stuff, they join the football game Sam started, in which nobody keeps score because they're all laughing too hard. It's fun to watch Joel and Tommy play on separate teams, the sibling rivalry coming out just enough to entertain you and Maria. You would think Joel would slow down or get tired faster than he used to, but something about the summer sunshine makes him twenty-five years old again. He goes from playing football and playfully tackling Isaac to teaching JJ how to surf, holding his hands as they stand on the board together, to bounding over to Ellie in the waves, picking her up, and throwing her in the water. "Mom!" She complains when she breaches the surface with a big smile. She laughs when you throw up your hands to let her know you can't control him. 

All the moms end up running around with sunscreen, water, and snacks to make sure nobody gets neglected, no matter who they actually belong to. You once joked with Carolina that, at this point, you basically have a commune of parents who take care of all the kids. Jesse will send birthday cards and money to the twins on their birthday. When Elizabeth got too drunk at a college party, she called you instead of her parents. Not because she didn't trust them but because she knew you'd pick up the phone even though it was two in the morning. And when Sarah gave birth to Isaac, you, Lucia, Maria, Carolina, Ellie, and Dina descended upon her home to take care of the laundry and dishes, prepare food, and ensure Sarah and Ethan slept. It's like having a huge family without the drama or strained relationships. 

After Joel has all but run himself ragged and the sun is casting purple and golden rays across the sky, he pulls you onto his lap, and you sit with him as you watch your kids. Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and JJ sit nearby, munching on sandwiches and listening to JJ's latest science fair project about space. Sarah and Ethan build sand castles with Isaac, and Ryan, Carolina, and Victoria nap together in a too-small beach chair. The only ones still up and being rowdy are Sam, Penny, and the twins. Sam is trying to teach Penny how to throw a baseball, and the twins are surfing along the coastline. The sound of the waves and the heat from Joel's body makes you sleepy as you rest against his chest, his hand drawing patterns into your thigh. 

"D'you have fun today?" He asks quietly as he kisses your temple. 

"I always have fun at the beach with you."

"Cheesy," he shakes his head, and you slap his chest. "You can't even get mad at me 'cause you know that was cheesy."

"You married me for my cheesiness."

"No, I married you for the money. Obviously." He says, and you laugh. Penelope and Sam's laughter overlaps yours, and you both turn to see them leaning against each other with big smiles. Sam's eyes twinkle familiarly in the sunset as he looks at Penny again, holding up his baseball.

"Be serious about this! When I go pro, you're gonna be the one to throw out the first pitch!" He urges, and she rolls her eyes.

"If you go pro, you'll have much bigger things to worry about than me throwing out the first pitch." She teases, and he raises his eyebrows, hiding the baseball behind his back and stepping into her. You'd have to be fucking blind not to see the way they flirt with each other. 

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" 

"Like controlling your roid rage."

"I'll have you know I've never done steroids in my life!"

"You're still young, Miller. I give it three years."

"You think that little of me?" He asks and collapses to the sand dramatically when she nods. You laugh, and Joel adjusts so your ear is by his mouth.

"They remind me of us." He whispers, and you furrow your brows as you face him. He smiles sleepily and reaches out to push your hair out of your face.

"How so?" 

"Other than the fact she just called him 'Miller,'" he says, and you smile. "'M not sure. He just... seems lighter around her. And they're always together. They have their own little language and dynamic. Not to mention, anyone with eyes in a twenty-mile radius can see how hopelessly in love he is with that girl."

"I thought you married me for my money."

"I mean, that was a plus, but I married you 'cause I couldn't imagine spendin' another moment without you as my partner and 'cause I wanted to be with you every day," he says as he kisses your jaw. "'Cause I was and still am hopelessly in love with you." You take a deep breath as you wrap your arm around his shoulders and lean back to look at him in all his sunburnt nose, heavy, happy-eyed glory. 

He's aged in the years since you've been together. His hair is a little more gray than brown, and the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes have deepened through late-night feeds, early-morning school drop-offs, tours, movies, albums, everything. You've aged too. You're not the same twenty-something you were when you met Joel, but you love this version of yourself. You love this version of your marriage and family and can't wait to see what joy the next version will bring you. You lean down and kiss him. He tastes like sea salt and beer and him. His beard scratches your face, but his hands on your skin are soft and heavy. You remember an old song from the original Cinderella film. She hums it after meeting her Prince Charming and goes home utterly in love with him. You swear, if this moment were a shot from a movie, that song would play over this moment.

"Cheesy." You mumble against his lips.

"Oh, that was cheesy?" He asks, and you hum. In one movement, he secures you in his arms and stands. You squeal and hold onto him for dear life as he starts walking through the sand. "I'll show you cheesy." 

"Joel!" You yell as he walks into the cold water and dunks the both of you under within two seconds. You don't see or hear it happen through the salt water in your eyes and your laughter, but your family rushes into the water after you—all of them. Ryan picks up Carolina, Ethan picks up Sarah, Jesse, and Dina work together to grab Ellie, and Sam picks up Penny, and they all run into the water. The kids follow suit, and before you realize it, all your favorite people are in the water with you, laughing and smiling as they cling to each other amidst the waves. Sophia jumps on Joel's back, and he goes underwater with all three of you as the sun sets overhead and the moon slowly appears over the cliffs. You're shaking from the cold and clinging to Joel, but you can't stop smiling. There's no place you'd rather be than here, freezing in the water with your family as the sun sets on another perfect Miller-Hernandez-Garcia-Long-Caradonna-Pierce beach day.

[lumenflowered]

[A video is attached. It begins with a close-up of Maria's face as she speaks to the camera, though in even quieter of a voice than usual.

"Reina mentioned that it would be useful to record evidence of... this 'Giovanni' truly having returned," Maria whispers as Hunter the Furret winds her way around her shoulders. She raises a hand to scritch Hunter absently under the chin and continues, "So, that is precisely what I will be doing. Thank you, Adeline, for your services."

A Gengar giggles from behind the camera. Maria almost smiles before she looks over her shoulder at a closed door—it looks new—and the camera zooms out to show more of her surroundings.

"I am more convinced than I previously was that Team Rocket has not been operating here, out of Tohjo Falls, for very long," Maria says. "This is not a bad thing, given that the complex they have here is far less sprawling, and as this is the final room I have not checked, it stands to reason that Giovanni must be here. It is locked, of course. Not that such a thing would stop me even if I did not have the keycard."

Hunter chitters proudly and holds up—yep, that sure is a keycard. Which Maria promptly takes, and slides through the access point to unlock the door.

"Stay close, Ade," Maria murmurs under her breath—then pushes the door open. Inside are two people: a man in dark clothes and a very familiar redheaded boy.

There are no Pokémon out, save for a single Nidoking standing beside the man in dark clothes. He doesn't seem to have noticed Maria creeping in, nor the presence of a certain cameramon. Silver, of course, has his back to her—though it's dubious if he would notice if he wasn't.

"Mark my words," Giovanni says, "not being able to measure your own strength shows that you are still but a child."

"Yeah?" Silver sounds pissed. "Oh, I'm plenty good at measuring my own strength. I almost beat you after you made me fight basically every other trainer you've got to wear me down first. If you stopped hiding behind others like a coward—"

"You would have won? Don't make me laugh." The boss of Team Rocket chuckles darkly to himself anyway. "Well, go on then. You'll be of no use to Team Rocket like that."

"Good." His hands are balled up into fists. "I didn't come here to join Team Rocket."

"Oh? Then why did you?"

"Didn't Archer tell you about the Radio Tower?"

"Obviously," Giovanni scoffs. "I had hoped that you'd come to your senses... and instead, you've come here to betray me. Is that it?"

Silver laughs unhappily. "What's there to betray? You never cared about me. Sure, I'll leave now, but I'll be back. And I'll take Team Rocket down. All. By. Myself."

"You truly are nothing more than a disappointment." Giovanni sighs. "A shame; I had hoped that you could be even greater than me."

"Like it's hard?" Silver snaps.

"Well," Giovanni says, "I happen to note that you have no Pokémon left capable of fighting. I still have one. So no, I don't believe you'll be leaving at all this time. Nidoking?"

The Pokémon beside Giovanni snaps to attention. Silver takes a step back.

"Dad—"

"Horn Drill."

The camera rapidly shifts to the floor, but not before catching the massive Pokémon lunging at Silver, a dark shape that might be Maria leaping into action herself, and a scream of agony.

The video ends.]

[memory-echo]

[Quarantine Marathon] "Sexual Healing" Part 10

— Does Isabel really want to find her brother, or is she just looking for whatever excuse to kiss Alex? 'Cause I'm inclined to think it's the second… #Starzagers

84th tweet:

— That was way too much to be nothing. Too bad she doesn't want to admit there was something there…

Alex: You know, I'm… I'm available for further experiments. You know. Wh-whenever.

— Alex is so helpful, isn't he? 🤣

— Question: why didn't Nasedo engage Max right there? That would've been a good opportunity to get him alone and explain a few things to him. All this does is confuse the audience to the identity of that guy…

Maria: Look, I just really need you not to be cold or mean. If that's impossible, you can just let me know.

— Some people say this was unnecessary, but Maria has trouble communicating and she's sarcastic most of the time. She's still sarcastic here, but at least she's letting Michael know what she needs from him.

— I always loved this moment. It's a best payoff than that one scene in "285 South". A moment of real vulnerability and understanding. There's a purity about it that you can't get with alien flashes. Flashes are a great metaphor but this is the human aspect of it.

Jeff: They're basically good kids, right? They're just using bad judgment.

— Wow, Jeff was so liberal back in season 1, 😅 I'm looking at you season 3 Jeff. 🤣

Jeff: Well, why don't we give 'em a chance to explain themselves? Diane: Well, what kind of explanation can there possibly be?

— I really love Jeff here. Everyone else is just blowing it out of proportion, given that their kids are straight 'A' students! They're young and deeply in love with each other. I don't see a problem with it.

Liz: Max… everything that we did, everything we felt… was it… was it all just about this… this thing?

— Many people would say that “Sexual Healing” was a dead end of an episode. I have faith in Jen Oxenberg. I think she created an episode that actually links perfectly with the rest of the series. And no, I don't think the flashes were orb-induced. Nor was their passion.

Liz: Max, was it ever just about us? You and me?

— Yes! And I'm saying this fully pretending I don't know what happens in season 2 and 3. What happened in "Sexual Healing" is the direct result of feelings that were denied for far too long. When they are finally in sync with their emotions good things happen between them. That's what "Sexual Healing" was all about.

Max: I'm sure it doesn't compare to other things you could be doing, like watching Kyle barf after a beer blast.

— There's no way Max said that without knowing something… My gosh, did he see that flashes? Awkward, very awkward… 🥴

Liz: Ok. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max… what's my destiny? Max: I only know the part I'm hoping for…

— Hopes, shmopes. I know about "Graduation". And I'm not gonna pretend I don't know that one because it's the only thing that brings me comfort! 😊

— Yes, Max and Liz are deeply in love with each other, and we just had the glory of that love for 40 straight minutes. Enjoy it, enjoy it! Parents will have to accept that. 💞