#not super proud of this but its fine my main problem is not being able to center the leopard better but oh well.

[mortemcatabasis]

Repaint of a jewelry box lid for my mom, she asked for it to be in gold and black and have a leopard on it to match my grandmother's aesthetic.

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

HEY! Just because I am now 20 I think having something to kind of re establish boundaries would be good! Considering the ones I put all those times ago have changed :D GENERAL RULES! Do not be racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, ableist, or discriminatory against anyone for any reason. Please if someone is calling you out for things you have done or said, please self-reflect and take the proper steps to change or remove yourself from the community. If you see something you do not like, and it IS MADE WORSE BY BRINGING ATTENTION TO IT, THEN IGNORE IT! Bringing attention to problems that just arent really problems with either the community or me in general are not worth it! Please use common sense when thinking about what/what not to engage with! I personally wish that people in the community do NOT engage with people who just obviously do not like me! Chances are they want a reaction from it so it is MUCH better to just not argue with someone whos mind you will not change! ALLOW CRITICISM OF ME AND MY CONTENT! IF YOU DONT AGREE OR DONT LIKE THEN DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT!!!! ALL IT WILL DO IS CAUSE UNESSICARY DRAMA!!! DO NOT make ANY comments or content about me that is explicitly sexual. I completely understand that lately there have been bits due to the changes in how I’ve been presenting myself and how I’ve been presenting more femininely, but that does not allow anyone to use that as an excuse to sexualize any features and such that are more feminine or masculine. Remember that femininity is not sexual and should not be seen or created as such just because its there! (for example, the Vtuber costume and chat being overly weird over the added boobs where there was no need for it). DO NOT draw me in ways that are sexual either, such as highlighting any aspects in a sexual way, or making the content something sexual. I am completely okay with being drawn as any body type, masculine presenting or feminine presenting, as long as you stick to this! PLEASE DO NOT SPECULATE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!!! Making jokes about certain topics CAN be fine, but a line is crossed when it becomes a legitimate speculation or if a joke is said when I have expressed my discomfort! RESPECT MY FRIENDS!!! All of my friends are their own, incredible people. And they do not deserve to be lumped in or referred to as JUST "my friend". Be respectful in their chats even when im not there, and be respectful to all of them everywhere else! IF SOMEONE IS TRYING TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MAY BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE LISTEN!!! There has been a lot of times in which I have seen people be unwilling to change in the face of a genuine discussion, and that is not something I want in the community! I should NOT have to police every single thing because it should NOT take me saying something in order to change your mind! As my words are not worth more or less when it comes to a lot of subjects! And lastly, do good. Whenever you have the ability to. BE POSITIVE!!! The hater mindset is very draining and can be very toxic to both you and the people around you, so highlight the good instead of the bad if you have the ability to! I am so incredibly proud of how far this community has come, and I cannot wait for the future!!! I have spent some time writing this, but it may not be perfect, so I will update this as time goes on and I think of more, or if something needs to be SUPER cleared up, but for now these are the main ones! I will NOT be updating this after every little thing however, as I do not want you guys to feel like the only way that something is wrong is if I talk about it! As you guys should be able to sustain yourself as a community without my consistent input! Imma go enjoy my birthday by eating a pizza :) thank you all!

[cookies-over-yonder]

"... In that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is."

The Close Family and Closure: An Analysis and Breakdown of Taylor's Issues in Hell or High Father

...and the way he addresses and, in Taylor fashion, downplays the problem, and denies its lack of solution.

(I have transcribed the majority of this scene, and below the cut is my line-by-line breakdown and analysis, as well as some other tid-bits.)

hello! ever since i got into dndads, taylor has been my favourite. i found his extreme escapism and dumb confidence fascinating, and as you may know, i love finding scenarios for him to break. it's, like, at least half of my fics at this point.

this episode is my favourite episode, it broke me, and it pieced me back together but Wrong in all the right ways.

this analysis is focusing on the taylor of it all. the motivation behind his words and the changes in his cadence and the denial that still, despite everything, refuses to fade.

i've never written an analysis post structured like this, so do let me know if you like it. i just... i really love taylor.

okay, let's go!

1. "Well...''

Nicky: … I didn't see a lot of Taylor's growing up and that was—that was fi—like we're cool now right, Taylor? Taylor: Fuck yeah dawg— Nicky: See?

to start off, taylor's instinctive answer is to agree with nicky. because well, yeah, they're chill now, that's true, so of course the first thing he does is agree. and i gotta say that i was expecting taylor to leave it at that, because he's not one to dig deeper when he doesn't need to, and even when he does.

Taylor: Well…

taylor says this immediately after his first answer and oh ny god i got SO excited. but this ain't about me. anyway. taylor finally admitting that they're actually not 100% cool is such a big fucking step argh i am so proud of him forever and also so sad for him forever...

Nicky: What? Look, I'm back now, and I'm super tight, and we hang out, and we can do samurai shit together, and we're fuckin'—we're tight as fuck.

this part makes me so sad because nicky is so ignorant to how his absence has affected taylor despite his frustrations at glenn for not being there. and also, this sort of reasoning would have worked on convincing taylor back in early season two. in fact, it did!

[Season 2 Episode 10: Dad Me To Hell]

taylor is completely satisfied with this reason because it feeds into his main character syndrome. his dad left to protect him. what better reason is there? and now he's back and there and able to do cool shit with him, so everything is perfect, right?

but the next thing taylor says is so fucking heartbreaking:

Taylor: If I'm gonna be honest, Dad, I've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time, and you could be there for me.

the way he trails off as he says it, and he loses his confidence in his words... it shows an unfamiliar shyness. we've never seen taylor be this vulnerable before. and to think that he'd been holding out hope for time travel magic to fix his childhood? that perfectly aligns with the idea that taylor is so stuck in his anime escapist fantasy that he can't accept what's real. and magic is real, so therefore he must be able to fix his past, right? it's not impossible for there to be time travel (see. end of season 1 + see. attack on titanic.) but taylor doesn't realize that this is something that can't be fixed so easily, even if that magic were available. he doesn't believe that this can't be fixed. more on this later.

Nicky: [grunts and falls] Uh… um… I didn't know you felt that way. Taylor: Yeah, you know, it's just, when I was practicing my jutsus I could have used some pointers. Nicky: Yeah, but like— Taylor: As a result, I've developed a number of very bad habits that I'm told are very hard to break. And, you know, just watching YouTube videos is not the same as having a dad who can fight.

in the past, taylor has used anime to cope with his absent father, and he relied on the fictional characters to bring him the same comfort a father might bring (this was mentioned by freddie in one of the teen talks and while i've been relistening i've yet to find it. do forgive me as i am merely mortal) while this isn't directly referring to that, i still feel it's worth mentioning, as taylor is confronting his own unhealthy coping mechanism and acknowledging that no, youtube videos aren't a replacement for a dad. he couldn't fill the absence of a father with anything else in his life no matter how hard he tried.

also, taylor is smart. he knows that he has unhealthy coping mechanisms or "bad habits" that he can't break and he knows that they're caused by nicky's absence. i just wonder how long he's been stewing over that, you know?

as shown earlier, when taylor first met nicky and found out why he wasn't there, he accepted it immediately, knowing it was the coolest reason for a father to be absent and only fueled his protagonism.

but now, taylor's confronting his own issues surrounding nicky, and explicitly addressing them to nicky.

*wipes a tear*

i'm so proud of him.

Nicky: Wha—I mean, if it's training you want, we can train you, and like, you see your grandpa there— Taylor: [sighs] It's too late. I needed to start when I was three to five years old like true ninja warriors.

there is something so cutting about the way taylor says it's too late. he's talking about training to be a ninja warrior on the surface, yes, but that's not it.

it's too late. it's too late for nicky to witness his upbringing. it's too late for taylor to grow up with a loving father figure. it's too late.

and taylor knows that, and he's saying it, but he's still masking it with it being about training to become a ninja when in reality it's so much more.

this is just one example of the way he downplays the issue. he zeroes in on just one aspect of his life that nicky wasn't a part of, and speaks as if it's the main issue, when really it's only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Nicky: Oh, well, I mean— Taylor: So I'm already trying to play catch-up a little bit, but you know, I guess it's water under the bridge. But you know, if there is time travel magic, then you know, maybe, or if you find it, you could maybe… pick me up on the way back… to the past, and you know maybe we could do childhood all over again.

taylor is playing catch-up with training, but he's also playing catch-up with having a father in his life.

and again, he downplays it, says it's water under the bridge, when it's so very clear how deeply this has been affecting him his entire life.

and to top it all off, he brings up time travel again. and the way he says this is so un-taylorlike it's jarring. the uncertainty of the maybes, the trailing off, the voice so quiet you almost can't hear it...

he thinks there's still a chance to redo it and fix things, but i feel that deep down he knows it's impossible, that it doesn't work like that, and yet he's still grasping at straws to try and make things better.

it's... it's really sad. i feel really sad for him.

and the way he says he wants to redo childhood. as opposed to only talking about training, here he actually says he wants to do childhood all over again, and it's so, so quiet. and taylor is never shy. it's so clear how badly he's hurting over this.

god. okay.

2. "I didn't even know where you were."

Glenn: So we're cool. Nicky: So, we're cool. Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicky: We're just three cool guys. Taylor: Well…

i love how taylor isn't backing down on the fact that nicky fucked him up. like the gates are open and they can't close back up that easily. he's not accepting them just being three cool guys.

Taylor: Well, I'm just saying—you know, I could have, y'know—not to put too fine a point on it, but Dad, I would have appreciated if, you know… I didn't even know where you were. I 23&me-d my ass, and they sent me a picture of fire, and the cops showed up! There was a white van parked outside of our house for three years!

again, i really notice the change in the way taylor speaks, he's more unsure, quieter, and uses more filler words (such as "y'know"), and it feels as if he feels bad about making nicky confront his faults as a father but he's pushing through it anyway, because he has to.

and i absolutely love the throwback to episode ONE with the 23&me test! like this had been brewing from the start! i just think it's fantastic for it all to build up to this. like yeah. taylor didn't know WHO nicky was or WHERE nicky was and trying to figure it out only led to more danger for him.

Nicky: [gets on one knee and puts his hand on Taylor's shoulder] I guess I never got to properly apologize to you, did I?

Taylor: Well, an apology won't really turn back time, and I don't know how I feel—I would rather have the time travel magic.

this is so cutting. like, yeah, an apology won't cut it, and taylor immediately circles back to time travel magic, as if it could fix what's broken when it really, really can't.

i also find the trend of time when it comes to the close boys to be very fascinating. glenn got locked up in time prison, nicky's childhood was split into two timelines, and taylor thinks time travel can fix his broken relationship with his father?

god damn.

Nicky: Well, I didn't even get to explain—I was in Hell. I was worried that these fuckers [pointing at the other kiddads]— Taylor: Yeah, those fuckers. Nicky: —would have chased after me if I'd gotten out of hell. Taylor: So you're telling me that these fuckers kept you away from me all these years? Nicky: Yeah, you know what? It was these motherfuckers! They are the reason I didn't get to spend time with you because they betrayed me! Taylor: That makes sense; I just saw the memory! Yeah, yeah!

thinking about how taylor immediately agrees with nicky in blaming the others for his absence, because, well, yeah, shit's complicated and they are definitely part of the reason, but the fact that taylor is so on board of whole heartedly blaming them after chewing into his dad about not being there is just so sad. like yeah, of course he doesn't want to be upset at nicky. and it hurts so much that he is.

god.

oh my god.

okay, now, i didn't transcribe the entirety of taylor's memory, i actually summarized it and quoted some key aspects of it, so here:

Taylor's first belt ceremony. He's performing, and he finishes, and he bows, and he looks up. His mom is there. He's sniffling a bit and Cass asks him if he's okay and comments on how he moved all the way up to green belt, and he says he knows. He looks over to the kid who was supposed to get green belt but didn't because of him. The kid is whining, and then his dad comes in and gives him a big hug and—

"It's okay son, I saw how hard you worked, and in my eyes, you're a black belt. Come on, let's get ice cream."

The kid says thanks and they hug and then they leave and Taylor watches them leaving through the window and sees the child and father and mother smiling together. Taylor looks down at and then throws away his green belt.

"I think I'm done with karate."

Taylor gets kicked out.

that line that the father said to his child really hit me, because taylor never heard nicky say that to him. ever. and that was all that he wanted, really. like, "i saw how hard you worked," as in, i was there, watching you, practicing with you, supporting you, i saw you, i see you, i'm here, i'm here with you. and "in my eyes, you're a black belt," in my eyes, you've worked so hard, in my eyes, you deserve more than what you got, in my eyes, you're strong, in my eyes, you're capable.

things nicky never saw, and things nicky never told him.

and then, well, taylor quits.

a memory defining taylor's relationship with nicky. a memory where he wasn't there. a memory where he didn't see taylor's growth. a memory where taylor gave up on an ambition. a memory of absence.

anyways.

Nicky: I'm really sorry— Taylor: I'm kind of sensing a pattern here to be honest. Nicky: Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe the things that your granddad did, I do now. I'm thinking maybe I fucked up in the exact same way… Taylor: [lays a hand on Nicky] I think you fucked up in the same way too. Nicky: Okay. Well that's good. That's good for us.

god. oh my god. the fuckign pattern. i'm so sorry this part makes me lose my coherency all i can think of is how sad it makes me idk idk guys im sorry. you get it. taylor saying yeah you fucked up in the same way and nicky learning that and accepting it. oh my fucking god. like. i dont know theres something about the acceptance of it that really gets me. at the start of the conversation nicky denied it, and here he is, after seeing a memory of taylor doing something he wasn't there for, and now he's like yeah, yeah. i did fuck up royally.

3. "...there is no fixing this."

Glenn: What if we started over? What if we tried to kinda give it a little bit of a reset, and try and make some new memories together, as this sort of team of three? What do you think about that? Is it stupid? I dunno.

Nicky: What kinda memories are you talking about?

Glenn: Well I was thinking we all go to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and start everything off on the right foot! It's been so long since I've been to Disneyland, and, I dunno, let me show you all the secrets. Let me show you all the hidden Mickeys. I never got to show Taylor how to get over nine-hundred-thousand points on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And you! Nick, I never showed you the secret entrance into Club 33 that only I know about, and it requires you to go through the sewers a little bit.

I mean, what do you say? Maybe we can do something about this whole fucked up Close family. Maybe we could bring it on back a little bit. What do you guys think?

Nicky: Yeah, sure, yeah I mean, I like Disneyland as much as the next guy. What do you think Taylor?

Taylor: What's Disneyland? I don't understand, what's Disneyland?

now listen, i know that taylor not knowing what disneyland is was just because of the whole doodlerized world thing, but i feel like it also really highlights the disconnect here. like, glenn wasn't around much in nick's life but they knew each other and yes glenn went to disneyland without nick a lot and yes nick liked universal better and if i got into their relationship it would take far too long and i don't feel particularly equipped to tackle that which is why i'm focusing on taylor, but i think that taylor asking what disneyland is highlights the disconnect between him and nicky. nicky and glenn are talking about something that taylor is completely lost on, and to me it really shows the disconnect between all of them. first off, nicky likes universal studios better than disney, second of all, taylor doesn't even know what disneyland is. they grew up in different realms, and they grew up around different people, and nicky was never there, which means there's so much taylor knows that nicky doesn't, and so much nicky knows that taylor doesn't and so much of that knowledge and those experiences can never or will never be shared.

Nicky: Oh yeah, good point, I guess it's on a previously Doodlerized world now with a bunch of really fucked up shit in it.

Glenn: I'm just saying that like—give me a chance. Give me a chance to try and make up for all the—well—you know what? No, no, no, no, no, I can't make up for any of that stuff.

it's true. this solution is like putting icing on top of an overdone cupcake. temporarily sweet but it's still bitter and burnt. (i'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, i don't bake.) but like when you burn something you can't just. un-burn it. sure you can put icing and sprinkles and all the fun stuff and maybe you can wash out the taste but that doesn't change the state of what's underneath.

that's their relationship to me.

Anthony: As you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks, and in that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is.

ah yes, finally, we reach the end.

this is what their relationship is. it's comprised of missing connections and missed experiences and misplaced memories and absences and longing and searching and finding one another only for it to be too late. it is comprised of absence as opposed to love or hate or anything in between. the nothingness that is absence is their relationship

how depressing.

if i'm honest, i think nicky still has a chance. obviously he can't fix anything with taylor, but i really do hope that he tries to be proactive in taking part in taylor's life from here on out, that is, if taylor even survives this next episode, oooh scary.... hahaha anyways.

i hope everyone enjoyed this essay! i started writing it the day the episode came out but schoolwork kinda took over me.

i wanted to get it out before this episode's teen talk so that's why i finished it tonight, but i may reblog with more thoughts, who knows! we'll see! :3c

i do also encourage you guys to check out my art for this episode specifically inspired by that last anthony quote there.

and of course my thoughts are not the objective truth, i am a mere university student, ignoring my school essays to write one for tumblr <3

bye-bye! <3 :3c

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary + slightly burnt snake secondary (bird model/performance)

Hi there! I’m a little nervous to send in this submission but I so grateful that you’re responding to people! Sorry in advance for being a bother, haha.

Burned Secondary. Calling it.

I’m a fae lion primary (freedom being the main internal compass) but I’m very confused about my secondary. I think its really burned or I’m just bad at figuring it out, because I didnt really vibe with any of the descriptions of the secondaries, whereas I took one look at the lion primary and knew that it was me pretty much instantaneously.

… doubling down on burnt secondary as a definite possibility.

I think I picked up a bird model when I was really young, though. I love learning and studying, but at some point I feel like you actually have to *do* something, and honestly find it frustrating to work with people who plan a lot.

Yeah, I don’t think you’re a Bird secondary.

In school people always assumed that I was this really academic person

Which is not the same thing as being a Bird, not even close.

but I really floundered in uni and ended up going to a program that allowed me some more freedom in dealing with issues, instead of being very by the book.

Oh excellent! You found a program that catered more to an improvisational style, love to hear it.

I think the reason I’m struggling with finding my secondary is that the bird model was what I used to get through school, and I find it hard to tell what’s underneath that sometimes. Especially as I really felt pigeonholed into being the “encyclopedia” of the friend group, even when it makes me miserable.

So it sounds like you’ve got some sort of Bird secondary *performance* that you dislike.

Every time I try to make a plan I end up going totally off-script anyways, to the point that most of my “plans” are just me saying very confidently that I totally have a plan.

I’ve noticed that in video games I tend to be the one that really likes to go hunting for alternate pathways and solutions, and I love being rewarded for being extra observant about an area or a place.

Love looking for unusual workarounds, incredibly observant and turned in to your environment? That sounds preeeetty Snake secondary.

I definitely have a bit of an obsession with exploring. But at the same time, I kind of hate using guides for stuff like that because I want to be the one to find it myself.

You’re not a Built secondary (Bird or Badger)

Part of the fun is that I dont have anyone helping me out.

I do think that freedom-loving Fae Lion primary is showing here.

One of the things I remember super fondly is the time that I was able to break into an in-game prison and then break out of it again just because I wanted to see how the game would react and what it would throw at me in the process. I was also more than willing to get in and out of the prison a few times just to see if there were any other ways to get in or out.

I think that “stir the pot just to see what will happen” is a very Snake Secondary trait.

I feel like a bad person for even saying it but I’m also scarily good at bullshitting. I’ve been told by people around me that I’m super insightful, when I’m almost always just making up as I go. I remember that one time a teacher told me I had written the most interesting interpretation of a piece of text he had seen, but in reality I was just going off of a gut feeling and a lot of “yeah, that sounds like I know what I’m talking about”.

And you didn’t vibe with the Snake secondary? Because this sounds like a Snake secondary. And there’s nothing to feel bad about, it’s just an alternate way of thinking.

… but the fact that you *DO* feel bad about it means that, yeah, it’s burnt.

I also remember that I got into a huge debate at school, and people were talking about how much of a good debater I was, but I was literally just able to sound *very* impassioned about a subject I knew nothing about. I remember having a lot of fun trying to counter what people were saying in the moment, and there was a sort of weird enjoyment in knowing that it was me that was making them agree, not the argument, if that makes any kind of sense.

Snakes don’t have to believe the mask the way Badgers do, and this is WAY too improvisational and off-the-cuff to be Actor Bird. And Lions, well. They aren’t ABLE to convincingly sound passionate about something they know nothing about. 

I’ve consistently been told that I’m a shit disturber (and proud).

Your secondary might be a little burnt, but that Lion Primary is doing JUST fine.

I think my best shit disturbing moment was when I realized that a friend of mine was lying about their beliefs, and pretty much managed to corner them into a place where they couldnt *not* admit it. I kind of feel bad about it because it sounds like I was being super manipulative, but I wasnt really doing it consciously so much as I was just watching the flow of the conversation and seeing that they were about to try and hand wave it away. I guess overall my way of dealing with new problems is to just say fuck it and let things happen the way that they need to, with the confidence that I can kind of just do what I need to in order to be successful. So to me, I feel like I’m either a snake who lost confidence in the method, or a lion that just likes arguing.

I am definitely, definitely seeing a [somewhat] Burnt Snake secondary here. And a really loud Lion Primary that colors things in a way that could definitely be confusing on your end.

Anyways, thank you so much for the help! Im so sorry that this is very stream of concious-y but I really appreciate it!

Seems all right to me :D

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: that’s pretty knit 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: rurikawa yuki/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.9k words, 1 image

𝐚𝐧: yuki birthday month, yuki fic. ahaha i am very direct with my titles again. what’s new? because of the research i did, i’m probably gonna go order some knitting materials online now

Perhaps you spent too much time at the nearest arts and crafts store. For a dozen or so minutes you stood in one spot, unmoving unless someone needed to pass by you, your eyes flitting up and down, left and right as you debated over the different assortments of yarn.

You already had an inkling the different colours would overwhelm you— with so many different colours and different shades each, how could you possibly limit yourself to just one? You didn’t expect to be this troubled with choosing among different yarn weights, too. Why did the store give you 7 different choices? How were you supposed to know if choosing light yarn was better than choosing bulky yarn?

… you seriously should have done more research, but the prospect of finally having free time to visit the shop overshadowed any semblance of rationality you previously possessed.

Look at you now.

Alright, Plan A— scope out the area for the friendliest looking employee and muster up the courage to ask for help, plain and simple.

Except things don’t always go as planned.

When you hear your name come from a voice behind you, it was impossible not to figure out who it was that caught you. You’re just a little bit upset and a little bit tense because of all people to come across at this moment, it had to be Yuki? It’s not that you dislike him, rather it’s because the opposite is true that you found yourself more pressed than you should be.

It was like buying a surprise gift for someone and that exact someone seeing you buy that gift… actually, that was pretty much the situation— the only differing variable being that the gift hasn’t even been created yet.

Seriously, you just had to come across the very person you were planning on making something for?

“Yuki-kun! What are you doing here?”

He gave you a blank stare, as if waiting for you to realise how dumb your question was. Rurikawa Yuki? In a crafts store? Unless you wanted something specific, the answer should have been plenty obvious.

“Hah? I want to buy materials to make clothes, obviously,” he replied, tilting his head to gesture towards his shopping basket filled with various beads, lace, and… were those feathers? Was he just replenishing stock and were those all for one outfit? Curiosity was getting the better of you, mouth already poised to ask a follow-up question before he interrupted you.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?”

To any deities out there, grant you a smidge of acting prowess, or at the very least the ability to make some half-truths and get away with it.

You awkwardly let out a laugh, your eyes leaving Yuki as they dragged themselves back towards the shelves.

“I’m supposed to make a scarf for someone,” an omission of information, but technically the truth, “but I don’t know which yarn to pick?”

For a few seconds Yuki stared at you with narrowed eyes, ultimately letting out a sigh as he placed his own items on the tiled floor, facing the same direction as you.

“Any colour you want?”

Taking the opportunity to resolve one of your main problems, you quickly told him that he could choose any colour he wanted. Haha, you were so slick getting Yuki to choose the material he’d like the most. If you somehow screwed up the knitting process, at least he’d like the colour, right?

“Didn’t you do any research?” Yuki asked, sifting through the pale pink yarns to look for the appropriate weight.

“Not really,” you admitted sheepishly, “I mean, I just saw the steps were easy enough and decided to give it a try.”

“I-di-ot~” he said in a sing-song voice, but despite the nickname you knew there was underlying affection there somewhere, “one skein of super-bulky yarn would be the easiest to work with, then you probably need a crochet hook and 9 mm knitting needles too…”

You follow the green-haired boy as he moves to a different aisle, picking up the supplies you inevitably would have had trouble choosing between.

“Really, you could have just asked me, if you’re so clueless. I’d help you out.”

“No way!” you suddenly exclaimed, earning yourself front row tickets to Yuki’s look of confusion, “I can do it myself!”

You hoped your sudden outburst didn’t come off as rude, but he seemed to just push the matter away nonchalantly.

“Suddenly getting so loud, what’s with you…” he muttered, dropping the things he picked up for you atop your waiting hands, “but that’s fine. The scarf won’t be as cute as if I helped you, but maybe it’ll turn out decent at least.”

You clutched the materials to your chest, already anticipating being able to prove Yuki wrong. How would he react the moment he knew the person you were knitting something for was him?

“I’ll show it to you when I’m done!” you promised, “I need your seal of approval, after all!”

He’d probably point out any issues regardless, so you just had to make sure you did your absolute best!

Knitting took a lot more effort than you anticipated. First of all, you had to do something called a cast on around the needle? Apparently the wrap cast on was great for beginners, but you weren’t gonna lie— it did take you one whole article from some “The Queen of Yarn” blogspot and one 5 minute YouTube tutorial just to make sure you were on the right track.

One. Slip knot: loop the yarn around your fingers clockwise, the yarn attached to the ball going under the loop, slid off your fingers and slipped onto the needle.

It wasn’t that the steps were particularly difficult. Rather, it was constantly making sure you weren’t accidentally skipping any steps or areas due to not paying too much attention.

Two. Open the loop to make a stitch: hold the empty needle with your dominant hand, and the needle with the slip knot in the other. Slip the empty needle into the first loop— from front to back.

Still, it was difficult to stop your thoughts from wandering— perhaps you should have chosen to listen to some kind of tea spill or podcast or comedy routine or anything with words instead of the LoFi ChillHop live stream playing from your phone. You were going to give Yuki a scarf— then what?

Three. Wrap the yarn: go counter-clockwise, the working yarn sliding between both of the needles.

You had a crush on Yuki, plain and simple, but it’d be embarrassing to just admit it! The amount of courage you had still needed replenishing, what with the amount you used up to just go up to him and try befriending him a couple of months back. What if you confessed, and he decided not only was your scarf ugly, he wouldn’t be friends with you anymore as well?

Four. Turn the stitch: slide the dominant-hand needle from the back to the front of the other needle.

But would it be enough to just pass off the garment as a, “thank you for being my friend” gift? Especially when there was no real occasion, and the hours you put in into making him something— would he question it?

Five. Finish the stitch: slide the dominant-hand needle up so that the first loop on the other needle slides off. Move on to the next loop, do the same thing, repeating until you are out of stitches.

Well, even with all of Yuki’s bluntness, he was still kind so he’d probably still be your friend! It’d still really hurt if he rejected you though, so maybe you should put off implying anything more than platonic between you two for… a while. Maybe it was too soon?

Looking at the progress you made, you were unable to hold in a groan of defeat. The pale pink yarn against the bamboo needle looked pretty and neat; there was an issue though.

One row. You were only able to do one row so far.

Your phone clock said it was still pretty early into the afternoon. Well, a few more hours wouldn’t hurt anything except your hands, right?

A hand therapy site told you that pain brought by needlework was probably due to repetition of motion, bad posture, and or general fatigue. Not gonna lie, you probably fit into all three— the last one maybe more so than others.

How long one took to knit varied— some dedicating days, while others were able to crank out 5 scarves a day. A part of you was proud to be able to procure something presentable and wearable in one sitting.

…

You’re just choosing to omit the fact that that one sitting lasted until 3 am, but what Yuki doesn’t know? Won’t hurt him.

Thanking your singular brain cell right now that you decided to do this project over the weekend instead of during a school day— you’re unsure if you’d even be able to survive at all if you actually had to do maths and stuff the day after.

Deciding to just go with the flow, you found yourself folding the scarf as neatly as you could, gingerly placing it inside a paper bag. After all, you agreed to “have him judge” your creation today.

In all honesty, you thought you had built up the confidence to confess your crush to Yuki. If he reciprocated, good for you! If he didn’t, well, either you take it cooly or go ‘I said I liked you as a friend thing, silly!”

Standing in front of him though, his orange eyes scrutinising the pale pink scarf, made you lose your words, hesitation standing in its stead.

“Garter stitch…”

“What do you think, Yuki-kun?” you asked, peering at the green haired boy curiously as you impatiently awaited his verdict.

“I’m honestly surprised you made something nice,”

“Hey—“

“But for beginner, it’s pretty good,” he complimented, “actually, I can see myself wearing it when it gets colder—“

Even with such simple words, you felt your heart swell in happiness. Not only did he say he liked it, but he even went as far as to say he’d wear it? There were so many ways to get your gratitude across, to tell Yuki your true intentions in ‘asking for his approval’. With all of your options, you went with

“If you like it, it’s yours!”

“Hey, you…”

He looked like he didn’t know how to respond. Actually, you can relate to that because even you’re befuddled by your wording. Didn’t it make it seem like you gifted it to him as an afterthought?

“I mean, well that’s not what I meant,” you hurriedly followed up, “I wanted to give it to you from the start? I didn’t know if it’d be nice though so if you said it was ugly I would’ve hidden it from the world? You said you would wear it though so—“

“This won’t do…” Yuki replied, interrupting your impending rambling. Before you could ask him what he meant, he pulls your hand to lead you inside the dormitories.

Unbeknownst to you, pink the same shade of your... his scarf painted his cheeks. If only the weather was fit for the garment you gave, he’d be able to blame the sudden colour on the cold.

“Come on, I need to get your measurements.”

It was difficult to keep the silly grin off of your face afterwards.

want to order again?

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 28~ Well, I heard this season’s supposedly got 60 episodes total (don’t quote me, that may be wrong) so we’re almost at the halfway point... I’m gonna wait till episode 30 to talk about that though.

This episode I actually rather liked, even though absolutely NOTHING happens other than the important things at the very beginning and the very end. That’s becoming a pattern this season - lots of nothing sandwiched in between hints of big dramatic things to come. Eh. But yeah, I liked it anyway :P for a few reasons that are probably not that objective. It’s not the kind of episode that’s gonna make you want to rewatch though.

Cap of the week!

Look we all know Jou is exactly the kind of 12 year old who folds his clothes neatly even when lost in a mysterious parallel world. Also he brought more textbooks (social studies and Japanese). Aka more ammo for Mimi

More below:

Last week we ended with Patamon evolving to Angemon in what was a pretty anticlimactic moment, despite a big villain being there and a cliffhanger ending. Seemed like a waste after all we went through just to get him.

However, I do think the beginning of episode 28 makes up for it somewhat. Angemon gets to show off how Very Very Cool he is, but it’s also made clear that he’s not up to full strength. Seeing him throw all his effort into the battle to save them even though it’s clear he won’t win was actually pretty great.

More typhoon winds throwing everyone back XD they must have so many bruises

Poor Takeru gets thrown back all by his lonesome

So last episode, I said I thought Darknightmon was gonna go for Hikari and was surprised and somewhat relieved when he stayed interested in Takeru/Angemon. Um... I guess that was a red herring x’D he’s after Hikari after all.

He literally says “I have no use for you” to Angemon LOL sick burn my dude

Hikari: “There is a new cutest child.”

Takeru: “Um, actually the phrase is ‘smallest child’.“

Hikari: “No. Cutest child. Do not interrupt my moment, impertinent one.”

Grogu: “Did someone say ‘cutest child’?”

Angemon’s peeved that Hikari stole the spotlight so he immediately jumps into the way and prevents Darknightmon from grabbing her.

Angemon: “No one treats ME like some washed up has-been!”

But as hard as he tries, Angemon just hasn’t recovered enough. It probably took all the energy Patamon had stored up just to evolve. His wings lengthen and release into millions of shining feathers, and both he and Darknightmon de-evolve.

I really did kind of enjoy this battle! Seeing Takeru be all strong and heroic, and the desperation with which Angemon tries to protect him... me likey.

Next it’s a nod to 99 series! D-D-Digimon!

Yamato screams like he’s at the dentist’s.

There’s lots of freaky black lightning that rains down seeming to give dark energy and empower random Digimon who get hit by it. Just to ensure our heroes don’t get to waste time on any more “breaks”

A single feather floats down where Taichi lands and dissolves. I am not sure what happened to it, if it did anything or if it was what protected them until this point...

Taichi and Hikari wake up and discover they are alone. So last week I thought they’d get swept off into pairs... I didn’t even consider that they’d each wind up alone. Mixed feelings! On the one hand, seeing each kid interact with their partner and their partner only was one of the good things about this episode (except it wasn’t always true, which I’ll get to in a minute). On the other hand, my fears last week were that whoever ended up with Taichi would be overshadowed by him. Turns out, if no one’s with him but Hikari, that means all the plot stuff is with them and the others have nothing in particular to do. -_-; At least not this week. My hope is that it’s coming (and there were a few promising hints this episode so), but next week’s trailer looks pretty Taichi-centric too..

Taichi: “Can I help it if I’m so charming cool awesome and dare I say it adorable”

The impact of everyone being “alone” is cut short by the fact that they can all still communicate via digivice. I would be fine with that, except for what I said earlier - they wind up spending too much time talking to each other instead of their partners. Particularly the ones who like to Plan Things. Eh.

Yamato tells Taichi to protect Hikari, doesn’t even mention that he’s sadly separated from Takeru at this point ;_; He knows Takeru’s okay though because Takeru is also communicating by digivice.

Sora: “Hello yes, it’s in my contract that I get to be awesome X number of times per episode, and I have doubts that you are making your quota.”

I love how Tentomon’s job is basically Koushirou’s secretary x’D “Put my calls on speakerphone Margaret” “Yes Mr Izumi”

The partners really are suited to each other... Koushirou gets a secretary, Jou gets a mom, Mimi gets a gal pal, Yamato gets a therapist, Sora gets a sister, Taichi gets a... preschool child who eats paste... -.-’

takeru and hikari don’t count because they’re Special and their main attribute is Cute

All the kids have ended up alone except for super-charged monsters who want to eat them. Palmon hoists Mimi up a very sheer rock trying to escape Golemon who is not great at climbing but doesn’t seem to know that

Meanwhile Jou... is like “Ohh yeah, you guys have it so rough, I’m trying my hardest too, keep fighting the good fight y’all”

He’s relaxing in the hot springs and freaking studying.

Gomamon’s unusually fine with it though. Because he gets to swim. He says “Let’s invite the others here.” They’re both like YEAH THIS IS WHAT I CALL A VACATION

It’s all fun and games until the hairy guy with the tattoos and veiny arms sharing your hot spring starts staring at your ding-a-ling. Uhhhhhhh.

he does make the “Nanimono?” joke so all is well lol

No matter what form he takes, Patamon is always an Angel 👼

Takeru is alone but he has Patamon... but Patamon is...

... ADORABLE... and conked out. Takeru’s so proud of him though, look at that smile *sniff*

Taichi remembers to ask Koushirou how conditions are back at home. This kid is too organized.

Koushirou: “News and variety shows continue as normal even though the world’s ending.”

I’m not going to get into everything he says but it’s pretty much more of the same regarding the power influx from the human world to the digital world and the way the Zurumon’s attacks are wreaking havoc with electronics...

Taichi almost says “You’re so sugoi!” Almost. He’s grateful anyway. *chews on those Taishiro breadcrumbs till they’re broken down to atoms*

Then... Hikari’s acting strange!

Agumon: “What are you looking at?”

Hikari: “I don’t know.”

Taichi: “You don’t know but you’re looking at it?”

Hikari: “It kind of looks like Steve Buscemi... it’s hard to tell”

Taichi’s not too wigged out by freaky Hikari because he’s lived with her all his life, and she’s always been a freak.

Baby Hikari: “Shteeve... bushemiii....”

Agumon: “Your sister’s weird.”

Taichi: “Yeah but she’s MY weird sister.”

Yamato is fighting, of course. He stops for a moment to be impressed by how well Takeru’s handling himself. Garurumon points it out. I suppose it’s simply time to accept that this season Yamato is just not the disaster boy he was in 99 x’D

Now have some gratuitous adorable Patabutt images.

Patabutt patabutt pata pata butt butt

Um... is it just me or is Patamon kinda... oversized all of a sudden lol...

Takeru: “Did you eat all of my candy stash again?”

Patamon: “I just can’t seem to quit”

Takeru: “That’s it we’re getting you into rehab”

Patamon tries to fly but just can’t ;____; poor baby is totally wiped out. Takeru takes a long time to catch on to that. I REALLY HOPE THIS GOES SOMEWHERE, like Takeru has to protect Patamon instead of the reverse etc... pleeeeease don’t just leave this where it is writers!! The potential for cute is endlessssss

On the matter of Things That Are Not Cute... -.-;

Jou: “Please stop looking at my junk”

Nanimon: “Stop looking at mine”

Jou: “YOU DONT HAVE ANY wait do you wAIT I DONT WANT TO LOOK”

Mimi is much more useful! She discovers a shiny rock!

Theory!

This rock... could be the raw material for their Crests!!! Squeee~!! I mean, it’s about time something about that came up, assuming it’s still a thing. (Since they already seem to have their Crests loaded in their Digivices and got to Perfect level without any talk of values and personal strengths, I don’t know how much of the old Crest legacy remains in this season.) I, uh, did the same thing in my fanfic so I guess I’m just biased... These could totally be Evil Rubies Of Darkness and Terror but I’d rather have Crests :p Of course I would have expected Mimi to find green stones in that case sooo... maybe not.

Anyway she and Palmon are suitably distracted from running from Golemon and go mining instead. I’m sure that will not cause any problems.

We swing back to Taichi and Hikari, who are being approached by a big scary monster...

Taichi: “Watch my Tarzan impression.”

Hikari: “Nooo! I don’t want to be Jane!”

Fortunately Agumon evolves just to catch them in midair x’D Now is not the time for impressions, Taichi, seriously.

They are attacked by Volcdramon, which is a dumbass name.

Voldramon: “I AM VOLCRADMON, THE VOLCANO DIGIMON”

Taichi: “Velcromon the Velcro Digimon?”

Voldramon: “what NO i am Volcdramon-”

Hikari: “Voltronmon? Voldemortmon?”

Voldramon: *sniveling* “why does this happen EVERY time i JUST want to be one of the cool guys youre all such BULLIES”

MetalGreymon and Volcdramon face off, but something’s not right! Much like... the Digimon in the last episode whose name I already forgot *cough*, Volcdramon seems able to absorb other Digimon’s power. This presents a problem because last time it took all of them shooting into its mouth together to overload it so they could win. MetalGreymon is having a hard time on his own as Volcdramon just absorbs all his attacks.

Hikari prays to Jesus to save them. Digimon is approved for Christian families 👼👼👼

ugggghhh I love them

Taichi promises Hikari everything will be okay. His back-and-forth with MetalGreymon here is kind of cool. Every time MetalGreymon takes a hit, Taichi’s encouragement and coaching?? I guess keeps frustration at bay.

Buuut eventually they’re both feeling pretty desperate :P It was hard for me to take this battle seriously since, after all we’ve seen MetalGreymon capable of, it seems weird that he should be struggling this much. But obviously they don’t just want to make him invincible. And this problem makes sense: the ability of Digimon to absorb attacks and turn them into energy is definitely a new problem.

The question is, how do we solve it?

Apparently it helps if you have a little sister who’s some kind of super battery.

Taichi: “Nothing shocks me anymore with Hikari. She could announce she’s been Beyonce this whole time and I would believe it”

WarGreymon appears (again) as his goldeny vision self, defeats Volcdramon, then promptly de-evolves back to Agumon.

So the question is, why is this happening... From earlier episodes we know Agumon & co are some group of legendary warriors who have had their memories tampered with (??) to some extent (because they do still know each other, or at least Agumon and Gabumon remember knowing each other). Omegamon’s a given for that of course so I suppose that’s why. Hikari seems to be the key to unlocking the legendary warriors, maybe with Takeru. That’s my guess. Of course, Tailmon’s probably already in the bad guys’ clutches, much like Patamon was. I hope she’s still working for them. I want more double agent fun times. Also ANGST

Hikari: “Thank you, Agumon-” *disappears*

Taichi: “GEEZ I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even breathe without something bad happening anymore, like excuse me for BLINKING”

Yeah so... Skullknightmon appears and abducts Hikari like it’s nothing xD

Skullknightmon: “What’s under arm number two? Iiiiit’s your sister!”

Taichi: “Aw damn, I wanted the sports car”

Taichi quickly gives chase. I assume Agumon’s pretty exhausted after that and probably can’t evolve now. Bad timing. Oooor maybe this is all how Skullknightmon planned it...

Then... the unthinkable! Hikari looks at her brother rushing desperately to save her... and turns away!

Taichi is SHOCKED! Le GASP!

Taichi: “But but but I’m the MAIN CHARACTER”

Hikari: “Not anymore bitch it’s my show now”

Yeah okay jokes aside! This bit was AWESOME. Like, I’m sure it’s obvious that she can tell the voice that “called” her to the digital world is with Skullnightmon. Or at least, her heart’s telling her she has to go with him in order to meet that person (Tailmon, duh). I’ll be surprised if that’s not what’s going on. But... to so coldly just turn her back on her brother... I mean, maybe she also thinks she’s protecting him... but SHE JUST GOT HERE... holy crap...

To think we spent so long theorizing that Takeru would be the one abducted but no it’s Hikari... In retrospect should have been obvious. She’s 1) a girl and therefore a damsel, and 2) the one who was abducted in 99 xP

But I really like her semi-willingly going off with Skullnightmon. Much better than just screaming as she’s whisked away King Kong-style. In 99 she also got abducted voluntarily (I mean, it was coercion, so... that’s not voluntary, but you know what I mean). So they kept that in this season and I like it.

That’s it for this week’s episode! So the bits that I liked were the individual moments with the kids and their partners, of which we had more than usual but still not nearly enough. Nowhere near. In the end it was still a Taichi episode.

As a Taichi fan... it’s not like I’m ever sad that he gets more focus. But I love ALL the kids and they’re NOT getting development. We do keep getting hints about them but it’s so, so, so slow. To be fair, it’s not like we know THAT much about Taichi either. He gets so much focus because he’s always fighting. This season doesn’t seem concerned with personality and character bits like the 99 one, and I am gonna compare them for that. Because I think that was the heart of the 99 show. Without it, it’s missing something. I keep hoping it’ll come back, we keep getting those hints and special moments here and there, but the plot is such a distraction... if it was like a really good plot maybe I’d care less but...

Next week...  as far as I can see, it’s another Taichi episode xP But I do think they’ll do the same as this episode and intersperse Taichi’s battle with what’s going on with the others too. If that’s how they do it, I won’t mind. It might even be better. Fine, Taichi can fight, as long as the others are showing us more about themselves and getting other things done in the meantime. Mimi and Jou both look promising. Takeru too. Sora and Yamato, not sure..

Koushirou better not just sit at his computer the whole time -___-

Le owch.

Taichi: “Look being the main character’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I have three concussions and six broken bones. Also I can’t feel my toes anymore”

hang in there bud im cheering for ya

[theredhairedmonkey]

Viren and Callum—Defining Heroism

Callum is a foil for each of the three antagonists, and each season focuses on a different pairing.

During Season 2, Callum’s arc was a foil to Claudia’s. I break down some of the similarities between them here. Callum and Claudia both exhibit a curiosity to learn more about magic (particularly at the Moon Nexus), and both are fiercely protective of those closest to them. To the extent they will use Dark Magic to protect them.

But whereas Callum tries it once and decides to reject it for good, Claudia continues to succumb to this temptation, time and time again.

During Season 3, Callum’s development is contrasted with Aaravos. At this point, Callum is, like Aaravos, a magical prodigy; each had mastered at least one Primal Source they weren’t born connected to.

Additionally, both demonstrate great influence over the lives of those around them. But they are diametrically opposed in terms of their goals. Whereas Aaravos cares primarily about advancing his own interests, Callum wants to genuinely help people, and empower them to make their own choices (as opposed to manipulating them like Aaravos).

This foil can be summed up simply—Callum is motivated by the Narrative of Love. Aaravos is motivated by the Narrative of Fear.

Harrow: “I ask you and your brother to reject history as a narrative of strength and instead have faith that it can be a narrative of love.”

Aaravos: “You tried to win over the other humans with loyalty and friendship, but they ignored you. Those who fail tests of love are simple animals. They deserve to be motivated by fear.”

But the focus here is on Viren and Callum, and starting in Season 1 and throughout the first three seasons, Viren and Callum have very deep, narratively important parallels with one another.

Both are the mages who advise their respective Kings.

Callum: “When you grow up, sometimes you have to face things you’re not ready for.”

Viren: “He insisted I stand next to him in the painting, because he knew I would stand by him through anything.”

Both are curious and want to explore the depths of magic to the greatest extent possible.

Viren and Callum are also both insecure in their place in the world, relying (at least initially) on magic to help give them a sense of belonging

But their differences not only define their dynamic, they also define many elements and themes to the Saga, in particular as to what it means to be a hero.

To begin, Viren is great, though not necessarily good. That is to say, even though he may be capable of great deeds that save countless lives (such as in saving the people of Duren with the heart of a Titan), these deeds don’t actually make him a heroic person.

This is because every great deed he did stemmed not from altruism or compassion (no matter how well he convinced himself that it did), but from his tragic flaws: his arrogance, his vanity, and importantly, his hubris—his belief that he can subvert the natural order in his favor without consequence.

From what we can gather, Viren is a force to be reckoned with. His skills with magic have made him so powerful, he can cast a spell that would save two kingdoms from starvation.

They are also such that he’s considered by Amaya, a talented warrior herself, perhaps “the most dangerous human in the world.”

His martial prowess is quite exceptional as well, as he’s able to go toe to toe with two Dragonguards for a time. Even though they’re elite fighters and they’re flanking him, he’s able to hold his own for a while before having to resort to magic.

However, Viren is a tragic character. I don’t mean this in the sense that we should feel sorry for the power-hungry man who attempted to murder two boys and steal the throne. Rather, his “greatness” is undermined by his personal flaws, which he can’t quite shake and prevent him from being good.

Part of Viren sincerely wants to improve life for his people. When talking to Aaravos, to whom he has no motivation to lie, he states his aim is to help mankind flourish “without a knife to its throat”

He’s even willing to consider sacrificing himself, either for King Harrow or, in Lux Aurea, for his army.

Aaravos: “We’ll risk as few lives as possible. One.”

Viren: “Ah. Mine.”

But as per his hubris, he exhibits great pride in how his abilities can help mankind flourish or save his people. While he wants mankind to prosper, he wants this to be his achievement and wants people to know that he is the one who saved them.

In his story to Queen Aanya, he places a bit of undue emphasis on the fact that he was the one who up with a solution that saved Katolis and Duren. Whether or not this is what happened, it’s clear that he wants Aanya to know that he personally saved her kingdom.

A little less unclear is how necessary he ultimately was. Sarai goes back to save Viren because “without him to perform the spell, the heart is worthless, and this was all for nothing.”

I’m...skeptical as to whether this is what Sarai says, or if it’s Viren intentionally or unintentionally reading in what he wants her to say. Truth be told, Viren has no idea if this is what Sarai said because he wasn’t there when she said it. And why is the heart worthless? Viren wasn’t the only Dark Mage in the world, and probably not the only one between Duren and Katolis. There’s no reason why another mage couldn’t perform the spell.

But for Viren, the heart of the Titan might as well have been worthless because, in his mind, he’s the only capable of accomplishing these great feats.

Even when he was potentially willing to sacrifice his life for Harrow, he botched it with his  speech to Harrow.

Viren: “Right now I do not come to you as my King. I think of you as my brother.”

Truth is, none of this throat-clearing is necessary. But, Viren’s not quite so humble, even when he’s attempting to do the right thing. He still wants to be seen as someone special, even when laying his life down for another.

Turns out, this was entirely the wrong thing to say to Harrow, who is put off by Viren’s self-righteousness.

Harrow: “I see the problem now. It’s that you believe you are special. Better than everyone else, above the laws of this kingdom.”

When he’s forced to kneel and Harrow calls him a servant, this infuriates Viren and he sets aside any plans he had to sacrifice himself for his King.

Harrow: “You are a servant of Katolis. You are a servant.”

Because if Viren is going to sacrifice himself, he needs people to know what a great thing it is that he’s doing. He’s not a mere servant, he’s their savior.

It’s interesting that Viren’s pride is so hurt of being called a servant of Katolis, since that’s exactly how Harrow sees himself, according to Viren.

Viren: “King Harrow worked tirelessly. He told me he thought of himself as a servant of all the people of Katolis. A servant King.”

But Viren doesn’t see himself in this way. When his potential sacrifice is treated with the same level of significance as though he were anybody else, it offends him that he has to share that importance with others.

And thus, his pride leads to his downfall, casting aside his desire to protect his King, and replaces it with a desire to be the King himself.

Viren: “Today, we must mourn sevenfold. For tonight, there will be a coronation.”

Callum, on the other hand, begins his journey on the opposite side of the spectrum from Viren. Whereas Viren can accomplish great feats without being good, Callum is a good person, though not great.

At least, not yet.

According to the main site, “Callum has a big heart, and always tries to do the right thing.”

He can be super proud of himself and his accomplishments, but he usually has enough perspective to avoid letting this get in the way of what he knows is important. For instance, he connects to the Sky Primal, something thought of as impossible for humans, he immediately shifts his attention to Ezran, never once bragging or reminding people of his accomplishments.

Corvus: That’s incredible, Prince Callum.

Callum: Thanks…uh, who are you?

And, when it comes time to laying his life on the line for others, he never hesitates. Notably, around the same time as Viren was thinking about sacrificing his life for Harrow, Callum was preparing to sacrifice himself for his actual brother, but with none of the bravado or self-righteous congratulating of himself.

Just a solemn, quiet attempt to save his brother, even at the cost of his own life, and even without anyone finding out about his sacrifice.

For Rayla, he performs Dark Magic, knowing how much she could possibly hate him for it, but deciding that her life is worth more than how she sees him.

Callum may start out with a big heart, but when it comes to his skills, well…

But if Viren begins as both powerful and amoral, it makes perfect sense to have Callum’s arc to begin as his opposite--someone without any special abilities but with a strong moral compass.

Because of this, we get to see him go from good to great. And his story walks this fine line, where he develops these magical abilities to perform heroic feats walking hand in hand with the realization that he doesn’t need magic to be heroic.

Callum: “It’s up to us now. We have to return this egg. We have to keep it safe and carry it to Xadia.”

Callum has the same temptation as Viren—this need to be someone important, which is a big part of his arc in S1 and S2.

In S1, he initially places a high premium on his sense of self-worth, willing to put their mission in jeopardy just so he can obtain an object that might help him become a better mage.

He assigns great importance to objects (such as the Primal Stone and the Key of Aaravos) rather than focusing on people or lives. Much in line with the way a Dark Mage would attach significance to magical components that are needed for spells.

Callum: “The truth is, its not me. It’s this. All the magic, all the power, all the confidence. It's just because of this amazing thing. A Primal Stone.”

Ellis: “That Primal Stone needs you to do all that amazing stuff. Without you, it's just a neat, glowy ball.”

Callum: “I guess so. But without this, I'm nothing. Just a guy who can draw and make wry comments from time to time. And they're not even that wry.”

Much like how Viren assigns great value to the mirror or the Dragon Egg, even above his own children’s lives.

Viren: “The egg. If you have to choose [between Soren and the egg], choose the egg.”

But by the end of S1, he realizes just how much more important the lives of his friends and the Dragon Prince are over his own sense of pride or self-worth. Unlike Viren, who places a great degree of importance to his sacrifice (honestly, Harrow should be honored that Viren would consider throwing himself on the sword for a mere king), Callum simply makes the realization of what he needs to do…and then does it.

S2 follows the aftermath of his decision, and Callum has to deal with no longer having his mage abilities. Again, he latches his entire sense of self-worth to be able to do magic.

As @raayllum​ points out here, he also aligns his ability to do magic to agency. Without magic, he’s paralyzed by indecision and an inability to do the right thing. He believes himself imprisoned by his inadequacy.

Callum: “If we're really going to change things, we can't just watch while humans and Xadia keep hurting each other. But how do I take a stand? Believe me, I want to go down there with you, and be the heroes who stop all the fighting and save the day, but I can't do that. I can't do anything!”

And he follows this line of reasoning to its logical conclusion:

Dark Magic

Dark Magic gives him all the power he needs. If Callum wants to be special (like Viren), if he wants to have agency and freedom for himself, this is the path he can take.

Dark!Callum: “You can have unlimited power, and you can choose what to do with that power.

And in that moment, he’s tempted. Truly, he’s tempted, to commit to this path, set himself free from his past limitations and feelings of worthlessness.

He can become like Viren, and make himself great…but in a moment of clarity, he sees Dark Magic for what it truly is.

This isn’t freedom. It’s not the power he wants.

It’s just another prison.

And unlike Viren, who succumbs to this temptation, Callum sees through it.

What’s noteworthy is that Callum doesn’t press on the point that it’s possible for him to learn an Arcanum and do magic some other. He doesn’t insist he can make this choice easy on himself; he chooses that, Arcanum or no Arcanum, this is not the kind of magic he will choose to do.

Callum: “Destiny is a book you write yourself!”

Instead of attaching his sense of self-worth and agency to magic, he breaks free of this toxic cycle and seizes the ability to direct his own fate.

This is a lesson that he then passes on to others.

Rayla: “What does this mean? What should I do?

Callum:  “I don’t know. But it’s your choice. No one else’s.”

He finds his agency and self-worth independent of his ability to do magic, and realizes that his potential is actually in his complete control. Fittingly, it’s this realization that completes his journey to finally understand the Sky Arcanum.

In the end, Viren and Callum are quite similar, but the former lets his flaws get the better of him, his pride sinking him until he becomes malicious, grasping, and power-hungry. Eyes set on stealing the power to make him important.

The latter ascends past his prior limitations, refusing to yield to his own worst impulses.

Moreover, Callum holds on to his ideals in the face of adversity, even at his own expense, while Viren constantly tries to find “pragmatic” and expedient solutions to problems that always happen to end up with him on top of everyone else. Viren continues his dramatic decline, eagerly crossing one moral horizon after another, until by the end, he admits to Aaravos what he is really after is conquest; he’s willing to steal Zym’s life force just to become more powerful, sacrificing the entirety of his army to do it.

Callum, on the other hand, begins to truly understand what can make a good-natured person into a hero.

He expresses it in a speech about Rayla…

Callum: “It's because Rayla is a hero…Rayla saves people. She's brave. She does what's right, even if it puts her own life in danger, and even when the odds seem impossible. Even when it means her own people might misunderstand and turn against her. Rayla is selfless, strong and caring. That's what makes her a hero. That's what makes her Rayla.”

…and then proceeds to do each and every one of those things on the pinnacle. He bravely leaps after Rayla--even though it put his own life in danger--because it’s the right thing to do. Even though the odds of quickly mastering a complex spell on the way down seemed impossible.

Viren thinks his great feats are a substitute for a good character. Callum’s journey, on the other hand, is learning those character traits that make one heroic. He realizes, not only that Rayla is “selfless, strong, and caring,” but also why and more importantly, why he can be those things too.

And this dynamic between Viren and Callum culminates in the finale, where one falls…

…and the other rises.

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Haunted Castle Chapter Five: Frustration

Wish me luck in being able to finish this fic in time because the end of Halloween approaches and the fic's still not done. I think I got one chapter left to write though (not the next chapter, that I just finished writing tonight) so it should maybe be fine, writing can be hard sometimes though and this part of the fic is certainly so.

~

Watching Luigi and Gooigi fight the rather large and intimidating ghost in the throne room was equal parts super cool and immensely frustrating. Bowser Jr. desperately wanted to help but all he had was a flashlight, one made specifically for ghost hunting sure but it wasn’t enough to actually be helpful so all he could really do was watch from the sidelines.

After this whole adventure was over though, he was going to have E. Gadd make him something that would allow him to fight ghosts too. And then he was going to have Luigi teach him all the ghost hunting tips and tricks he knew. And then if anything like this ever happened again, he wouldn’t have to run away, he could just fight them all on his own. Papa was going to be so proud of him.

The fight went on for some time but there was never any doubt Luigi and Gooigi would be the victors. The big strong ghost let out one last desperate wail before vanishing into Luigi’s Poltergust. The ghostly bars that had descended to keep them trapped in the room dissipated a second later as the atmosphere in the throne room seemed to lighten a bit.

As Bowser Jr. stepped out of the secret room he’d been hiding in Luigi and Gooigi did a dorky victory pose together. It was dumb but at this point not surprising so Bowser Jr. ignored it, turning his attention to Kamek’s portrait instead. It had been hung up on the wall behind the throne. He jogged over to it to shine the dark light on it: finally, something more he could do to be helpful even if it wasn’t nearly enough to be satisfying.

Unlike Captain Boo and his squad, Kamek came out of the painting looking disoriented and confused. “Young sir,” he said as he looked around with a slight frown. “May I ask what’s going on here?”

“You mean you don’t remember?” Bowser Jr. did his best to keep his relief over Kamek being saved out of his voice because he had to pretend that he wasn’t scared or worried, that he had this situation under control.

“No, I was in the lab and then… King Boo showed up and then nothing. But I presume if you’re here and I’m saved, the situation must be handled. Where is Lord Bowser?”

It was a struggle to maintain eye contact. “The situation isn’t fully handled yet; we’re still working on it. Papa is still trapped in a portrait, we think King Boo has him.”

Kamek grimaced heavily. After several seconds of silence, he took a deep breath before speaking. “Why is Green Mario and… whatever that goo being is here during this time?”

Bowser Jr. glanced over to see that Gooigi was standing nearby watching them. Luigi wasn’t, he was examining Papa’s throne instead. He was close enough to overhear Bowser Jr. and Kamek’s conversation but if he was listening or not was hard to say, not that it mattered.

“That’s Gooigi,” Bowser Jr. said, pointing to them, “they’re super cool so I’ve decided they’re my friend now. And they’re here with Luigi because they’re professional ghost hunters. I had to run away and get them because I couldn’t do it by myself.” That didn’t make him a coward even if he kind of felt like one, it had been the smart thing to do.

Kamek’s frowned deepened. Oh no, was he mad that Bowser Jr. had run away? Disappointed? … He was, wasn’t he? Because Papa would’ve never even thought of running away even if he had told Bowser Jr. to. But even that command hadn’t been to run all the way away, he’d been telling him to run and hide so he could take care of King Boo himself. He’d lost though, Bowser Jr. had watched through a crack in the hidden door as he got sucked up into a portrait. So… he’d run all the way away to get help because there was nothing else he could’ve done. But… it still made him a coward, didn’t it?

“I suppose if they’re the only experts available, we have no choice but to trust them for now. We should keep an eye on them though, make sure they don’t try to take advantage of this opportunity.”

“I don’t think they will, E. Gadd told me to go to them and he’s never betrayed us and also they’re both goodie-two-shoes so they wouldn’t even really consider it.” And Bowser Jr. had stuck with them long enough that he trusted them to at least do this task well. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest to trust someone who’s brother was their enemy but they didn’t have much choice.

“I’ll trust your judgment on this Young Lord, you’re in charge until we rescue Lord Bowser.”

Yep and that was kind of awful actually. He liked being in charge of minions and military operations but… always before Papa had at most been little more than a phone call away. And most of the time, he’d had his siblings around to back him up too. At least he now had Kamek to advise him. Speaking of that… “How useful is your magic against ghosts?”

“Hmmm… I’m sorry to say sir but it’s far more useful against physical things. When not taken by surprise though, I should be able to hold my own a bit better.”

“That’s what I thought. You might be able to help us but I’d prefer it if you waited outside with E. Gadd for the time being.” Both to give advice over the communicator and to be available to be called on for backup and/or a quick magical removal from a dicey situation. And, even if things were going well so far, it was good to hold back something in reserve whenever possible in case things started going south. “His lab is just outside the main gates. We,” Bowser Jr. gestured back in the general direction of where he assumed Gooigi and Luigi still were, “need to get back to ghost busting, be ready if we need you though.”

“Understood.” If being sent away to be backup bothered him any, he gave no indication of it. He waved his wand and vanished in a puff of smoke.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Bowser Jr. turned around to see that Luigi was watching him now too with an odd expression. “What are you looking at? Let’s get back to hunting ghosts.”

Luigi rolled his eyes a little but moved to do as he was told so whatever. Gooigi was already moving to do so too. Bowser Jr. fell in a safe distance behind them.

***

Bowser’s treasure room, hidden up in the attic was without a doubt the best room in the castle. The only problem with it was that it had been a mess, seemingly anything and everything that Bowser thought looked nice – regardless of its monetary value – had been stashed up here with zero rhyme or reason. It had taken King Boo a long while to fix it but he’d done it and now all the statues and various knickknacks and other items were arranged in a much more aesthetically pleasing manner. Completing the look and feel of it was Bowser’s portrait on the wall. The angry look of disbelief on his face was really what sealed it; it wasn’t often such an expression was seen in King Boo’s portraits.

But now that that was done, he could start working on things that were more important. One of Bowser’s brats was still missing after he’d somehow gotten away but it was only a matter of time before he showed up again; no son of Bowser’s could ever be that much of a coward, right? So given enough time that would solve itself. The Luigi problem however would not.

Taking a break from it to take over Bowser’s Castle instead, so far hadn’t sparked any new ideas. There had to be something though, right? Maybe even something to do with his newfound position as head of Bowser’s Castle? Well, he had time. Surely, he could get away with enjoying his victory a little while longer before he had to worry too much about that. …

“Boss!”

He turned to see one of his boos had entered, looking rather flustered. Which probably meant bad news, ugh. “Yes?”

“We found the kid who escaped. Which would normally be good news but uh… he’s got Luigi and E. Gadd’s goo thing with him.”

“What?”

“Luigi and his goo clone are here with and they’re ghost hunting. They’re being very thorough too. I only got away because they were taking care of the fellow you put in charge of the throne room.”

Why would Luigi be here? There was literally no reason for him to be. Bowser was his enemy so even if he’d known King Boo had taken over the castle why would he care at all let alone enough to come? Surely, he didn’t want to rescue Bowser, meaning he just hated King Boo that much. Well the feeling was mutual.

“All right, go inform everyone you can, tell them to be ready to deal with him.”

“Yes Boss!” The boo saluted before zipping back out of the room.

As soon as he was gone, King Boo growled. He was half tempted to knock something over, the only thing stopping him was the fact that he’d just gotten the room looking nice. But why was Luigi here? It didn’t make sense! … The why of it didn’t really matter though because he was here regardless of how little sense it made.

With a frown, King Boo turned to look back at the Bowser portrait and its angry expression that now mirrored how he felt. He was just going to have to take care of Luigi here and now instead of later. Easier said than done, especially since he probably had only a few hours to prepare, possibly less depending on how long it took Luigi to find him. … Maybe it was time to change tactics a little.

[labyrinthof-fan-fiction]

When Life Was Slow & Oh, So Mellow

Part 3 of Try to Remember

James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes x teacher!Reader

Summary: Part 1 of your date with James.

A/N: I just really love coffee shop AUs. I really love AUs. I have a problem (obsession) with AUs. Titles come from “Try to Remember” from The Fantasticks.

Warnings: Swearing, Sexual Themes

Word Count: 2,477

The week passed at a regular pace for you, go to work, come home, cook a meal, sit down at your television. Occasionally your roommate would join you for some binge watching. You found yourself getting more restless as Saturday grew closer. You roommate had several opinions on this date. Firstly, you met him once at a coffee shop and now you were going to lunch and a movie.

“Who goes to lunch for a date?” They ranted one night, interrupting the movie neither of you were truly paying any attention to.

“Maybe he works nights?” You asked.

“Maybe he’s a serial killer? Maybe a rapist? We don’t know!” They said as they paced back and forth in front of the television.

“You go on Tinder dates without meeting people face to face.” You sniped back.

They paused for a moment. “But I carry pepper spray.” They took a moment to think. “You’re taking pepper spray for this.”

You raised your right eyebrow as they stared at you. “Really, pepper spray. The guy walked me home without killing me.”

“But I was vigilantly waiting for you in the window. And I know he saw me.” They said, posing in their signature strength pose. “I’m intimidating.”

“To what?” You asked, laughing at your friend. They sighed and rolled their eyes, flopping down onto your couch, their head landing on your leg.

“Can we at least try a complete internet stalking before you go on this. I want to be sure he isn’t shady on the internet.” They pulled their phone from their pocket and gazed up at you expectantly, waiting for the name of the newest victim to their personal background check.

“James Barnes.” You muttered, they quickly typed the name into Google, which was just the beginning. You knew from experience that any and all social media were next.

“No fucking way.” They said, sitting up quickly.

Anxiety began to creep its way into your throat. “What is it?” You murmured.

They turned to you, “You’re going on a date, with the Winter Soldier.” They handed their phone to you.

Your eyes scanned the screen. Sure enough there was a picture of James, he didn’t look the same as he had in the coffee shop. His hair was wild, his eyes were blank, his left arm uncovered glinting metallically in the sun. There was a cold atmosphere to this photo, one that had not been there when you met him. “I….” You began.

“I am buying you a taser, maybe a cattle prod. Honestly, how opposed are you to a concealed carry?” Your roommate asked, starting to ramble.

“Extremely.” You answered, “He’s a genetically modified human. I don’t think much of that is going to work on him.”

“How much of him do you think is modified, if you get my meaning.” You roommate’s eyebrows wiggling.

“God you're gross.” You grumbled, pushing them then handing their phone back to them. “Is this a bad idea?” You asked, more yourself than them, but you knew they would have an opinion.

“I mean, Captain America says he’s safe for society.” They answered with a shrug. “Do we trust the ‘Star Spangled Man with a Plan’?”

You gave a slight nod in their direction, becoming lost in your thoughts. That’s why he said that the Winter Soldier wasn’t offing musical revolutionists in Russia. Your roommate continued rambling about the situation.

“Of course, you of all people, would somehow end up on a date with an ex-spy.”

You zoned out of their rampage, knowing they weren’t going to let up anytime soon. Sure, you had the initial panic of him being a serial killer, as most people do when they meet a stranger, but you hadn’t even thought that there was a possibility that he was dangerous. He didn’t give off that energy and you were proud of your senses of people. He didn’t seem like he would kill you, if anything, you felt like he would protect you.

And so you found yourself preparing for your date. You woke up at 8 AM, a bit early for a Saturday, but you wanted to be ready. You took a long and hot shower, trying to gather your thoughts for the day. Hi, James, just wondering, are you a super soldier created by HYDRA? You snorted, yeah, that’s real smooth.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you from your thoughts. You glanced at the text, from James.

Looking forward to today.

Me too. You replied, putting your phone back on the charger to finish getting ready. You dried your hair and got dressed. Putting on a simple combo of jeans and a shirt that you felt was flattering, but ideal if you had to escape. While you didn’t feel that James was a threat, your roommate had somehow been able to go deep into the web and find about two hundred conspiracy theories on the man in question.

“He’s an alien. No, wait, he’s a cyborg. Do you realize you are going on a date with a cyborg?” They asked as you were eating your cereal.

You took a bite before answering. “It’ll be fine.” You said.

“Fine? This is your idea of fine?” They continued, you sighed, glancing at the clock, 10 AM. Two more hours of ranting from your roommate, wonderful.

You continued to eat, listening to the rampage of your roommate. You interrupted them when they took a breath. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll keep my phone on, I’ll have the panic button.”

Their eyes met yours. “Okay.”

“Now, I’m going to finish getting ready and really don’t want to hear any more conspiracy theories about my date.” You said, ending the conversation as you played your now empty bowl in the sink.

You went into your room to finish getting ready. Time seemed to move quickly and your phone vibrated.

Ready when you are. You smiled and grabbed your coat.

“See you.” You called to your roommate who was sitting on the couch, hunched over their laptop, you caught a glimpse of their screen, more conspiracy theories. You shook your head and placed your keys in your pocket as you closed the apartment door behind you.

You exited the main hallway of your apartment and he was standing outside the door. He was wearing jeans, a navy t-shirt, and a black leather coat. You glanced at his hands, both covered in leather gloves. His blue eyes met yours and widened for a moment.

“You look great.” He murmured, the corners of his mouth pulling into a small smile.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” You winked, “So where are we going?”

“The best sandwich shop in town.” He answered, offering his right arm to you. You wrapped your arm around his.

“That’s a pretty serious statement. The best sandwich shop in  town?” You joked.

“What can I say, one thing I know is food.” He answered, a chuckle escaping his lips.

You both continued walking down the street, conversation flowing about the best sandwiches, and other nonsensical things. What you did not notice was the small red drone trailing above you.

“Sam, what do you see?” Steve asked through the intercom.

“Seems to be going well. They haven’t made any moves on Bucky… Well they’ve made moves. But not murderous moves.” Sam answered. “Where the hell are you anyways?”

“I’m staking out the sandwich shop.” Steve answered.

“In a car?” Sam asked.

“No, I ditched the suit and I’m in the shop.” Steve mumbled.

“See you when we get there.” Sam said, laughing a bit at his friend. Both of them sure they were being sneaky. But Bucky had seen Redwing out of the corner of his eye when the two of you had turned a corner.

Bastards. He thought to himself as he pulled you a bit closer to his side. “So, how would you feel about a change of plans?” He asked you.

You glanced up at him, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “I don’t know, you really talked this sandwich place up.”

“We could always go to the sandwich shop on a second date.” He said.

Someone’s feeling confident. You thought to yourself. “Alright, Barnes, but you better take me to this sandwich shop sometime.” You mumbled, he pulled away from your grip to hail a cab, reaching down to grab your hand. The warmth from his hand seeped through the leather, your heart picked up speed, but you chose to ignore it. He opened the cab door and let you slip in after him. He gave the driver an address and glanced out the window, looking up toward the sky.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Just checking to see what the weather is doing.” He answered, his hand still entwined with yours.

He sighed as he saw Redwing circling above and he knew Sam was confused. Steve had no doubt gone ahead and staked out the sandwich shop, that was more his style. He appreciated his friends, he really did. He had a good life, he was finally safe at the Tower. He understood their fears about HYDRA, about the Soldier, but they paled in comparison to his own. He glanced down at your hands, still connected. He gave yours a slight squeeze, then he froze, maybe this was a little too forward for a first date.

You felt a smirk break across your face at the actions of the man beside you. The cab stopped and James handed the money to the driver and you followed him as he exited in front of a pizza shop. “Pizza?” You asked.

“Pizza is second in line to sandwiches.” He answered walking into the shop, it was a cozy place. Pretty standard for a pizza place. “You take a seat over there, I’ll get the food.”

“If you put olives on that pizza I will end you.” You said, walking over to the table by the window. Sitting in the chair that faced the door. It was a tick for you, sitting facing the door, but it was something you always did. Sitting without knowing what was coming made you uncomfortable. You watched James joking with the man at the counter. They both glanced in your direction, James waving to you, you raised your hand and the man at the counter clapped James’ shoulder. A red blush seeped across his cheeks. The man handed him two sodas and nodded in your direction.

James slid into the chair across from you. Handing you the soda, you took a sip. Vanilla Coke filled your senses, you hummed. “He’s got a way of reading people.” James murmured.

“He’s good.” You murmured, glancing up into the blue eyes of the man in front of you. He was relaxed, one hand wrapped around the glass of soda, his other arm resting against the back of the chair.

“So tell me about yourself.” He said.

“I think I did most of the talking last time. It’s your turn to spill your guts.” You answered. “Where are you from?”

“Brooklyn. I grew up there. Just made my way back from some time serving abroad.” He answered, shifting a bit in his chair.

“Being abroad must have been nice.” You said.

His head tilted a bit as something glinted in his eyes. “It was alright. So where are you from?”

“Small town in the middle of nowhere.” You answered. “Looking for a job I got hired outside of the city. I took it. I miss my family at times, but I love my job.”

His eyebrows knitted together at this statement. Before he could say anything a pizza was placed on the table. The man from the counter winked at James before leaving. You both began eating, silence settling between the two of you as you ate.

Across the city, Sam had changed from his suit and was sitting in the Avengers Tower with Steve.

“He ditched us.” Steve grumbled. “He ran away.”

Tony walked by the pouting duo on the couch. “Who ran away?”

“Barnes.” Sam muttered.

“You lost Barnes, Jarvis, Winter Protocols now.” Tony snapped.

“Right away, sir.” Jarvis answered.

“Tony, he’s fine.” Steve started. “He’s on a date.”

“James Buchanan Barnes is at a pizza shop.” Jarvis interrupted. “Putting video footage on the television.”

The TV turned on and the security footage brought up the image of the you and James. The camera zoomed in on the two of you. You were reaching for another piece of pizza, James was watching you, a huge piece of cheese pulled away from the piece. You both were laughing and the group around the TV noticed that Barnes seemed at ease.

“He looks happy.” Steve said, sounding a bit surprised.

“Who is she?” Tony asked.

“Pulling up her file.” Jarvis stated.

“Jarvis, that’s not….” Steve began, but was cut off by Tony.

Your file pulled up on the screen, displayed next to the security feed. “She’s a school teacher. From a small town, nothing negative on her file. Went to a smaller college. Graduated with high honors.” Jarvis started.

“Seems pretty normal.” Sam muttered.

“So why were you two tracking him?” Tony asked.

The two men glanced at each other sheepishly. “We didn’t know if she was HYDRA.” Steve answered.

“So you followed them instead of doing a background check?” Tony pressed.

Sam glanced down at his feet. “Seemed more fun our way.”

Tony rolled his eyes and threw his hands up, leaving the room. The two remained silent for a moment. Jarvis turned the television security feed off.

Back at the restaurant the tension that had momentarily fell over the two of you had dissipated. You had learned each others favorite colors, childhood pets, and other pieces of information that were small, but somehow felt important. James glanced down at his watch, three hours had passed in the restaurant, it had barely felt like an hour.

“So what’s next?” You asked.

“We could try to catch a movie…” He faded off. “Or we could walk and talk.”

“Option two, please.” You answered, finishing off your soda.

He tossed money on the table and stood up. You followed him out the door, grabbing his hand as you made your way into the crowded street. He stiffened slightly, but relaxed as you made your way out of the crowd and towards a park bench. You sat next to him, watching people pass by. He raised his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders, in an extremely cliche way that made you giggle.

“Hmmm?” He asked.

“Nothing.” You mumbled, a spare giggle escaped your lips.

“Lame move, I know.” He said, “But it worked.”

“True.” You said, inching closer to his side. Part of you felt comfortable with him, but a small part of you was unsettled. “James, I have to ask you something.”

[rpgmgames]

May’s Featured Game: Cadeau

DEVELOPER(S): HALFWORLDstudios ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Horror, Fantasy, Puzzle WARNINGS: Blood, Mild Gore, Suicide Mentions, Death SUMMARY: Cadeau is an RPG Horror game about a lonely, yet stubborn, young woman named Charlotte-- who finds herself in a world unknown to man, wearing clothes that do not belong to her. Wonderful and tragic events are to follow suit, as all of her greatest wishes come true. However, as these things often go, her happiness does not come without consequence...

Play the beta here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Macdev: Greetings and salutations. I'm Mac, writer, artist, and programmer for Cadeau, as well as the founder of Halfworld. I've loved Rpg games since I was about 10, and have been creating them since! Bruno: My name is Bruno and I'm the music composer. I got into game music approx 2 years ago and I've currently made music for a couple of games and other projects, and Cadeau was the first one of them. Aidan: I'm Aidan/kanteramcneil on Tumblr! I'm one of the voice actors, and I'm super excited to be able to follow Cadeau's progress! I've been in the RpgMaker community for a few years now and I adore being able to watch all the devs progress and grow Rindre: Hi I'm Rin! Currently, I'm on an indefinite hiatus, but Big Mac managed to catch me, chain me up to a chair, and make me say stuff about myself against my will. So... I make games, I guess. - Note from macdev: Erm, not true? These accusations are SLANDER and I will not stand for it. WariA: Hello! I’m WaraiA, one of the voice actors of Cadeau — A pleasure to meet you! I will be voicing the oh so mysterious ‘Your Admirer’, so please look forward to listening to my antics ☆〜（ゝ。∂） I am a Japanese/Chinese Australian born citizen, with a tendency to speak in an American accent. Any pronouns are fine for me My most notable role so far has been Harpae from Pocket Mirror, so some of you may be familiar with my voice already! Nothing much has changed — I enjoy cosplaying, role playing, drawing every once in a blue moon, Final Fantasy XIV, and most importantly, catboys (Nael, I’m coming for you, boy) As ‘Your Admirer’ is a rather elusive character, I cannot disclose much. But I do suggest always keeping one eye open throughout your journey

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Macdev: Cadeau is a game about a troubled young woman named Charlotte Émile-- who is a "tomboyish" and bold individual who has been unfortunately presented loneliness by a series of disastrous events. After giving up on companionship, she miraculously receives an affectionate letter from a mysterious person aliased as her "Admirer". This "Admirer" character beckons poor Charlotte to visit them at a mysterious well in the woods, and to come armed with nothing but a strange golden coin. From there, madness ensues. Our protagonist must learn of her past and the events that lead to her misfortune, all while becoming entangled in a family drama rooted in witchcraft, raging years before her unexpected arrival. It is a story about self-love, friendship, acceptance, magic, and all that corny-ness. Sounds fun, right? My initial inspiration was The Witches House. The game was originally meant to be simple, and maybe an hour or 45 minutes long. A simple story, and a straightforward 2-ending path.... How have we managed to get here from that?

How long did you work on your project? *Macdev: Two years, I believe! Its anniversary is April 8th. In the beginning, it was very off and on-- because I was having a difficult time with school and-- as I mention-- organization. So not a whole lot of progress was made then. I'm proud to say I've been chugging quite a bit faster than my previous pace!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Macdev: My inspiration would probably lie in Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts, and Alice returns to madness. As for RPG games? The Witch's House, Havenfell, and Pocket Mirror. As well as many other beautiful artists and creators in the video game community. Overall, my biggest inspiration for this game has got to be the stop-motion movie: Coraline. I even reference the movie once or twice in Cadeau. The tone of Coraline, and the whimsical yet eerie people and creatures within it give me inspiration for this game. It was very much a favorite of mine when I was younger, and that still applies today!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Macdev: The biggest problem I've run into has been a lack of structure. In the beginning, I hadn't even written out the story halfway. I was just pulling ideas from thin air, going back and forth, and deleting entire concepts-- only to bring them back and re-arrange them as I went. Characters weren't fully dished out; the game didn't even have an ending. This state of creating is fine, but not when you have other people expecting things from you. Thankfully, things are sailing much MUCH smoother than before.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Macdev: It's absolutely taken a turn from what it was originally! As I say, it was meant to be an extremely short game in the beginning, and now obviously that’s not the case. The goal for Cadeau now is: around 2-3 hours long in playtime, and full of many diverse character types! As well as a storyline that extends far more than face value. Which is in high contrast to the basic, short, immemorable experience that it was going to be.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Macdev: I do have a wonderful, beautiful, talented team working with me on Cadeau. - A composer! (Bruno Buglisi), - As well as voice actors! (WariA as Allete, Aiden/kanteramcneil as The Botanist, and Rindre (who I have definitely not kidnapped...) as The Maiden) I met everyone in the team through volunteer posts-- and I had never done that before-- but it worked very surprisingly well! We worked very quickly together, and we had a very mutual understanding of what each other wanted. It feels good to know I have such talented people helping this game come to fruition. I owe a whole lot to them for helping the game become what it is now.

What was the best part of developing the game? Macdev: Being able to make the world in your head interactable, for sure. Since I was 8, maybe even younger, I have loved writing stories and making art. Webcomics were my main thing as a kid, so story-telling is something I’ve always loved. So, the fact that I can turn my ideas into something someone can experience and interact with is a wonderful feeling. There's nothing more fulfilling, honestly!

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Macdev: Very often, actually! I try not to ride too close to the material I see in other games, but I do gain lots of inspiration from my fellow creators! One thing I am laser-focused on, though, is making Cadeau quite unique content-wise. I want it to have very interesting, uncommon puzzles and mechanics that you may not expect from this type of game-- or one of this engine. So far, I think I've achieved this-- so look out for that!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Macdev: My favorite character has got to be The Botanist. At the beginning of the game he has no dialogue, yet still presents such a strong personality. They are kind, thoughtful, and absolutely adorable. Look at that foofy hair! I'm a sucker for it. Their character arc is something I'm excited for. It's been a blast writing it so far-- and I won’t spoil anything-- but you guys will love him. I'm sure of it. Now if we're talking character design, Naël has got to be my favorite. He recently received a “tune-up,” as I would like to call it, and I think everything works together very cohesively in his design now. It's probably one of my favorites out of all of them, at this point.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Macdev: Thankfully, things worked out perfectly-- and the universe blessed me with a wonderful team in the end-- but it was very stressful once I realized I had asked for help way too early. I essentially made a single map, and a little character sheet-- then asked for a whole team to help me out. As I said, it luckily worked out in the end. Now we have so many amazing people helping us-- but we also lost a few in the madness-- and that's a mistake on my part, 100%. If you don't know what you want, it's hard to ask for help. It will lead to confusion, lots of back and forth, frustration, etc... Just wait until your way further in development. Trust me. I know it’s easy to jump the gun and shoot for the stars, but sometimes it won’t work out as well as it has for the Cadeau team!

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Macdev: I won't say as of now! The idea of a sequel/prequel has floated around, but if it does come to fruition, it won't be until way after the release of Cadeau. We'll just have to see. (This isn’t to say I’m not hopeful!)

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Macdev: I have so many amazing project ideas lined up for after the release of Cadeau. I won’t spill too much, so they'll be more of a surprise-- but they range from classic, adventure-themed true RPG's-- to 3D teenage-thrillers. I'm honestly stoked, there's so much in store for Halfworld.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Macdev: I think my biggest fear is letting people down. Also, I worry about losing interest or having people form the idea that the game is never going to be completed. It’s just going to take some time, is all, and that’s okay!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Macdev: I already mentioned above not to jump the gun and ask for help too early, so some more advice I'll give: is to keep all your material, all your ideas, and all your concepts in one concise place. I would say do it digitally from the get-go, but if you would prefer to write it down physically that's fine! Just make sure it's only one or 2 notebooks, and not 13. The information for Cadeau is spread throughout my hideous mound of notebooks, as I get up during ungodly hours of the night to scrawl a sudden idea down. So, I'm currently in the process of moving them to one digital spot-- and while it's generally easy-- I would have been able to avoid it if I had just put everything in one spot in the beginning. Oh, and back up your progress regularly! I have separate backups of Cadeau from months in 2 different years, and in 4 different places. So, I take backups very seriously—and so should you!

Question from last month's featured dev @atlasatrium: What's your favorite RPG Maker game and why? *Aidan: I love End roll, Ib, OFF, Prom Dreams, From Next Door, and Aria's Story! Bruno: Mm, definitely Long Gone Days (though it’s not being made on rpgmaker now) Midnight Train, Heartbeat and Glitched! WariA: I don't really have any :0 the devs I've worked with so far have all been really sweet (´꒳`);; Macdev: This is a tough question! I have a lot of favorites. Probably Stray Cat Crossing overall, but I also love Home and Starboy. Starboy brings a lot of memories, and Stray Cat Crossing was what inspired me to start making games! Oh, and Home is just very cute.

We mods would like to thank HALFWORLDstudios for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Cadeau if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[soranakahara-blog]

Day One

So this is day one of my attempt to write something every day. I have decided to do this to try and get some motivation to write. 

It was always my dream as a kid to be a writer and some where along the way my dreams got pushed to the side for reality and adulthood. So far I made a few note on something I have wanted to write for a long time, but I have just not had the drive to. But I have decided to stop sitting around hatting my job and lamenting in my lost dreams and do something about it.

I have decided to tell every one I know that I am doing this so that I have a outside reminder and kind of pressure to keep doing this. One of my biggest problems is that I will start something and be super into it and then suddenly I will just stop. I lose all motivation to do anything and just want to read manga and watch anime. 

So I thought I would write about my day today. 

Although it wasn't very eventful I was able to have a good catch up with a friend and tell them about my grand plan. So we met up at his place and he showed me around the neighbourhood. (He has just bought this house with his life partner and is super house proud and he should be) We had a little chat about his job interview and how thing were going with his casual consulting gig you know normal. 

He decided to take me on a tour of the are while he explained why he and his partner chose the area the chose instead of other ones and I just sat there and commented on his points. I didn't really understand what he was going on about but I wand to make it seem I did.So after a quick tour around the fairly empty shopping centre we made our way to a cafe.

I had asked if we could have Mc Donald's for lunch but he protested and said he "didn't like Mc Donalds" and in that moment I questioned our friendship.I joke.So we ordered something to eat and  I was taking to him about how I have decided to start up this blog and the fact that I am trying to "upgrade" my self in a way. He had asked me what had brought this on, and I was honest with him.

I explained to him that I was in the office acting as if I didn't have a care in the world but on the inside and that at times I felt like I was falling apart. I had told him that it had gotten so bad that at around five o'clock in the morning one day as I was driving to work, I was just driving a long when this sudden sense of dread and sadness began to well up inside me and as I was driving along the thought crossed my mind that it would be so easy just to miss the turn and crash my car.

How it would only take a few seconds and it would all be over.It was weird letting someone know that I was feeling this way some days and how it really scared me because it shouldn't be this way.

 It shouldn't right? 

As I got into the office I started googling "how to get over your depression over work" and what I found in google didn't seem to help much. 

What I found while googling was a lot of ideas the main one being leave your job and find something you are passionate about. 

 Well that is easier said than done. 

I have been looking for work and haven't gotten many call backs.The fact that I also want to move into a different field makes it that much harder. But then I explained to him that after reading a bunch more articles something hit me. Maybe I can't have my dream job but at least I can use it as an escape. By keeping a blog I have a way to practice my writing and get my emotions out.I told him about the stories I want to put up and he enjoyed some of the ideas I had.

I explained to him how lately I have had coming home and taking time to work on some of my stories and have been reading articles on how to improve my writing and have been feeling better. 

The idea of coming home after work and writing, even if its not anything special (like this). But just writing and giving it a shot has really helped my state of mind. I feel less trapped and powerless. We hung out some more had a cup of coffee and some donuts before I left. 

To be honest I never was powerless to do anything just to lazy. Who knows maybe in a weeks time I will get board of this and it will fall to the way side. Or my plan may work and by telling a lot of people I will feel a sense of guilt if I  stop and have to tell them ( because they may ask how its gong and I am a bad lair). Who knows maybe in time I will get good enough that one person will read what I write and enjoy it and then maybe another. 

"It's best not to be afraid of failure. As long as you do your best, there will be a time when people acknowledge you. Don't worry to much.It will all work out in the end.Just continue what you're doing and you'll be fine. And you will get better and better and better."-JR form Nu"EST

[prettylittlelyres]

This Still Happens: Gordon Benn and Religion

Ffion shrugs Scott's hand off her shoulder and snaps at him. "Don't fucking touch me! And don't tell me how to feel about Gordon disrespecting my God!"

Oh, for fuck's sake. I scoff. "Ffion," I say, as if she's three and I'm thirty-three, "It's only disrespectful if the thing I'm talking about is worthy of respect. Else, it's just called talking."

I've passed 11,000 words on this draft of This Still Happens, and I'm getting near to the end of Chapter Two, which is where things really take an awful turn.

We're seeing a really nasty side to Gordon in this chapter. He's hurting inside, and he's lashing out at other people--mainly Sophie and Ffion so far--because of it. That's in no way OK, and I'm in no way condoning it, but I do think it needs talking about.

As a Queer Catholic, I have a really complicated relationship with God--as do most people--but I've often felt like I can't do the religion thing and be Sapphic. Luckily I've always been aware that being Queer isn't smething I can change--it's just the way I am--so I've never been in such a place where I've tried to "fix" myself in order to feel like a proper Catholic... but its gone the other way. For a long time I felt like I couldn't believe in God, because I was always told to pray for the the homophobic bullying I've experienced to stop... and then it didn't. Instead of blaming the adults I should have been able to trust, I blamed God, and decided I didn't want to know Him.

If He would allow such horrible things to happen, why would I? In later years I've come to realise that it wasn't God who allowed it to happen, but authority figures--teachers, parents--and that God never would allow it to happen.

This is a major reason why I don't believe God to be omnipotent. Omnibenevolent, yes, and omniscient, yes. He knows who I am and He loves me--He made me that way--and He knows what happened... but He couldn't have stopped it. Humans do bad things to each other, and it's gone beyond a level God can control. I hate that, I really do. But it's not God's fault, and through Him I've been able to find better acceptance of myself as a biromantic lesbian, far more than I would ever have found growing up in the house, the town, the environment I grew up in.

My approach to Catholicism is by no means traditional. I don't go to Church, I'm not baptised or confirmed, and I don't believe in the omnipotent God most Catholics--for example, my Grandma--do (did, in Grandma's case, may she rest in peace). But I do feel it gives me a sense of protection, stops me from feeling isolated, and stops me from feeling powerless in times of trouble. I pray at home, I pray at university, and I pray when I'm out and about, for safety and happiness for my friends and me. I feel God in nature, God by the sea, God in the forests where I walk, and I feel better about the world and the people in it. God wants what's best for us, His children, and He would give it to us if we could. But most effort must come from us--people--because there's only so much God can do.

We must be the ones to seek happiness and to create it for other people. We must be kind. We must not lash out, even when we are in pain; that just creates so much more, pushing the world even further from the one God wants us to inhabit.

Gordon takes a different view. and we see that in the way he interacts with Ffion McDade, a Baptist girl in his class, and Sophie Wainwright, his friend of many years, herself a devout Roman Catholic.

"Soph, come on. Be reasonable about this," I say, leaning on my upturned hockey stick as Chris hands out bibs and Sophie pretends to be intrigued by the patchy grass.. "Chris loves you so, so much. Please don't throw that away on my account. I'm OK, I promise. He made a bit of a silly mistake, but, honestly, I think he was just a bit… knocked for six by my coming out. Given time, he'll be every bit as accepting as everyone else. You'll see."

Sophie huffs, and thumps the ground with the curved end of her stick. "That's only part of it," she mutters, "There's a lot more to it than you know, more to it than you can understand. By treating you like crap for being gay—the way God made you, by the way—Chris is saying God made a mistake. And I can't be OK with that, Gordon. You know I can't."

I shrug. "I don't care. I don't believe in God."

"Yeah? Well, I do," Sophie says, hooking her thumb around the chain of her necklace and showing me her crucifix, as if I needed reminding that she's Catholic, like most people in Chase Valley. I'm constantly being reminded of how fucking Catholic everyone is. Pisses me off no end.

Sophie sets her jaw, and speaks through gritted teeth. "So I'm sure you'll forgive me for being uncomfortable with Chris turning his back on you for the way God made you."

I snort with laughter. "I don't think he'll be turning his back on me any time soon, Soph. That's kind of the point."

"For fuck's sake, Gordon, that's my boyfriend you're talking about!" she snaps, putting her hands on her hips and scowling at me with hard black eyes. "Can you try and take this seriously? This isn't easy for me!"

"Fine," I say, "I'm very sorry your boyfriend's a little bit homophobic. But I'm fine. And he's apologised. And he's trying to be better. So I don't know why you're getting so pissed off about all this. It's not like it affects you."

Sophie rolls her eyes and mutters heavenwards. "You have no fucking clue what you're talking about, do you?" she says, turning her eyes back on me.

I shake my head. "Apparently not."

We're seeing everything from Gordon's point of view in Chapter Two. That's the benefit--and the drawback--of the first-person style. Although we get a very clear picture of what Gordon's thinking and feeling, and therefore a better understanding of why he acts the way and does the things he does... we don't get that for other characters, because nor does Gordon. Something we'll learn about Gordon in coming chapters is that he's very set in his ways, very determined to hold onto his views, and little ready to listen to those that differ. He rejects the idea of religion because he thinks it makes people closed-minded, but never stops to think that he himself is closed-minded. And that's his main problem.

Gordon won't see Soph's point of view because it involves a belief in God. What Gordon doesn't know--because nobody has told him, and he's only seeing the world through his own eyes--is that Sophie is bisexual, and has been struggling to reconcile this with her faith. A few days ago, she went to Confession, and confided all this in Father Matthew... expecting ostracism... but finding acceptance. Father Matthew tells her it's OK to be Sapphic, because God made her that way... but Gordon doesn't know. He expects the same rejection of his gayness that Sophie expected for her bisexuality, and because he deliberately steers clear of the Church... which means he never gets to know what is actually being said there.

Much as Gordon might want to think he's super-open-minded due to his militant atheism, he's actually closing his mind off to the idea that there's a higher power who loves him the way he is. While he has no problem accepting himself as gay or anything else--any other aspect of his identity or personality--he creates for himself an extra sense of persecution on top of that which he already experiences as societal homophobia. It's a shame, really. It turns him into this angry person who won't see other people's viewpoints, and picks arguments where there really aren't any.

As a result, he misses out on friendships, pushing people away because he expects them to hate him. And while sometimes he's right about that, he's often wrong. By avoiding talking to Ffion--who is proud to be Christian, proud to be Baptist, and feels at home in her Church--he never gets to know her properly. Unfortunately, Ffion's particular Church community is very scornful of the LGBT Community, and she ends up seeing him in a similar way, as someone to be avoided, and so she too never says a friendly word to him. There's this massive divide between them, created by their expectations of each other, which neither of them can surpass until they start to question those.

Because they're both so closed-minded, they can't do that on their own; it takes the work of their mutual friends and the creation of some desperately horrible circumstances for them each to realise the other isn't so bad. There's a friendship coming out of this, but not for a while.

Gordon has to change dramatically first, just as much as Ffion does. Can he overcome imagined prejudices in order to save and create friendships in the face of real ones?

[dda-unit8]

Overview / Discussion / Final Evaluation

My animation is a nice head bopping, entertaining that ends in a realistic possibility. My main objective that I had from the beginning of the project was to have the character being looped in the city ( or should i say just being looped constantly / technically a GIF ). I was able to stick to that idea to the very end ( If someone plays the video on repeat.  Video start off with black intro is Immediately about smoking which fades into the character driving. At the end it fades back into black and could smoothly transition back into the beginning. The beginning of the animation shows a very quick bright yellow text about smoking. Because  it appears so fast I hope for the viewer to either replay the video or try and keep what the text said in their mind. Later on the character gets in an accident. I wanted the animation to not only be a interesting animation with a guy driving a car but also trying to portray a tiny story. It could be portray and shown on the BBC website for smoking and health for kids. It can also be an ad on you tube that can be shown. Because you tube is one of the top mainstream company's that kids, teens and young adults use, The ad could be seen more. 

When it comes to “ If I understood the specialist are of design my project was centered on “ I would say that I had a pretty big understanding on how Parallax animation worked. Before I even new what the name was for the type of animation, I had known what it was and how it worked. Because I showed interest in animation and how different types of animation works when I was younger, I feel like that has given me an advantage. For future referencing though, I would make sure that even the most unnecessary things that I might not think needs to be in a separate layer, go in a layer. 

When It had come to research, I figured I didn't do a bad job. I didn't just go on YouTube and look for ideas or stuff that Inspired me. I ended up taking my time and relaxing at home. Enjoying what i love, which is watching different animations. All different styles of animations. I even used myself when it came to how I wanted my character to be placed in the car. When it came to the sources that I used for references, I don think I used to much. In fact I would say I used a moderate amount of varied sources. With what I had researched I made sure that I could get the maximum output of it. For example, There was a lot of simple and short tutorials on you tube that would give me an easy way to do a smoke fx or a quick and easy explaining video of parallax animation. I didn't want that . I wanted to get as much knowledge and do the best I can do. I think next time I will actually go and travel to a different place like Birmingham or lecister to see and get better references. I will branch out more, use more fx, tools and create something even better.  

As far as problems, I came across actually deleting half of my progress when I started. I was pretty upset but I could not go back and change the past so all I could do was continue and work harder. I also had the problem of time management and not sleeping. That has always been a big problem for me and Im honestly trying to change that as each day goes past. I would tend to stay up from 24 - 48 hours. If i have learned anything it would be to take breaks a lot more.

What I was also shocked about is how I was keeping a steady pace in my work and not stressing to much over time. Until I had to go to work I was using my schedule and I never lost sight of the due date. I had always kept in my mind when it was due. I even had alerts on my phone to keep me updated. I tried to stay as focused as possible. Even when my idea slightly changed towards the middle / end I didn't want to panic and overthink. I had to focus and relax for a second. For this specific animation, there are indeed things I wish I could have added in if I had not had to start half way over. I would have loved to add ambient sound of highway traffic ( cars going past ) and the song thats playing in the background to sound like its from the radio. I would have also loved to add a night street light that passes every so often ( with starts and a moon in the sky ). But because I didn't add those things, does not mean that I cant create something better or add them later on. This summer I can practice not only my drawings but my animation. I could practice practice practice

I used more than what I had learned in class. 

When it came to the animation, I had to draw everything as a draft as what I envision and how I see it in my head. I had to then make the lines more fine. Add more detail. Add color. Sort out all the layers. Make sure the layers are stacked correctly. That was all in Photoshop. I had to add all the detail in Photoshop and that takes time. I then had to transfer what I made into after affects to ANIMATE it. That takes time. I could have done a simple animation like I had made before but I wanted to exceed that. I wanted to try and add different effects that I have not used before. I wanted to branch out myself and look at different techniques I can use and learn myself. I have attained new techniques and skills because of this animation. I can improve on the new skills and techniques i have learned by practicing this summer. Try and create fun projects, films, animations.

So yeah ... Looking at my animation now. I can see what more I wanted to add. I am proud ( comparing the previous animation I did ) of the animation that I have made. I am still learning but that is why practice makes perfect. I want to learn more effects in after effects and see all the possible effects I can use in animation or even film. I will branch out this summer and practice using the software myself, Practice more drawings on perspective, foreshortening, mecca, human anatomy and even simple shapes. One thing that I noticed was different about my drawing this time, is that i tried to draw less anime / manga related. I tried to focus on a realistic anatomy, head shape and where the eyes, ear, hairline etc would be. Doing so I also took the time in shading.

To ensure that I have a lower chance of making the same mistake again , I will make sure ( If possible ) not work so many days when I have a week of from college. I will try and priorities my time more.

looking at my blog from when I first started Unit 8 ( how well its structured ) it looks organised and labeled pretty decently. I made sure that the topics where relatable to what was being said. I made sure important things where in bold. I will be honest and say that I was lacking a little in screenshots of my progress in the animating side but I tried to remember each time. That doesn’t mean that my idea, experiments and creative process cant be explained and presented in a clear way. I specifically made sure that each section flows to the next and shows what was to come, what I did and how the week was. I do appreciate all the help that the teachers gave me and opinions that they had on my work.

One thing that I think would be cool is to do a collaboration and create something super cool. Yeah you have animators that do animations by themselves but  I can imagine what cool things I can make by doing collaborations and sharing ideas and skills with another person. In doing so Im sure I can create some interesting work. I could do short and narrated stories. I have already done a voice over for my first animation so it wouldn't be to difficult. Because I have gotten used to the software a little more than before, I feel more comfortable in creating different things. 

The cool thing about possibly doing a collaboration is the endless possibility of what we can create. If we wanted too, we could create a music video, short story, fight scene anything. With the skill that I have learned, I can also reach out to different company's and see if they would like to do a collaboration. This would then get me work experience. 

[explorationliv]

Final Presentation

As a team we set up a google docs to add in each of our individual explorations and as a team. 

By exploring emerging technologies we will be designing and prototyping a degree show for the fine arts course. This degree show will showcase fine art students portfolios with an overall aim of attracting new students for the course. This show will be under the umbrella of branding that will link all aspects together in a recognisable and engaging way, this branding will cover the exhibition itself and social media campaigns that will advertise the degree show. 

Showcase - This is all about what is the most effective way to portray the project and the work that the students have created.

Advertising - Posters, Social Media, invites

Informing - Social Media 

Engaging - Social Media and the exhibition

We are currently on the border between implementation and closure, the main aspects and leg work of the project has been completed and reflection has begun on our end of what it is that we could have done better. However with the feedback that we will get from this presentation it will be time to make some last minute changes and reparations.

PROBLEM STATEMENT 

This project is all about delivering a worthy exhibition for the Fine arts students. Due to current world restrictions a physical exhibition is not possible and keeping it online would ensure the safety of students and visitors.

Due to the diversity in personalities and work in the Fine arts course, so how would we create branding?

With each student creating a plethora of work how is it that we would create enough space for each student?

CONSTRAINTS

Time

So since the first presentation it was time that we understood the constraints that we had and how we have worked through them. 

Initially time was all about whether or not we could create something that we would be proud of with the time frame that we were working too, we have worked so adhesively and managed to work in tandem perfectly, we are super proud of the work we have created and the team as a whole.

Physicality-

Physicality was originally a worry due to the fact that we were unsure on how to make a convincing exhibition without it being physical, This would be our main objective as it is the most important to make it convincing, enjoyable, engaging and informing.

Since the exhibition is online we will not need to worry about funding as it is all digital, the only thing would be to look into domains and how much it would be for the right address. 

Testing- 

This was about rapid prototyping and building on the constructive feedback that we gained from the last presentation.

In the feedback from our early Presentation Brendan suggested we may have been delving too far with our explorations and that a more simple space may be more effective - I think this is something really interesting within the module being ‘exploration’ as whilst we tried to explore different avenues within style the requirements of the client may not fit their needs. I think this was really important for us to reflect on to hit both the brief of the module and the clients needs. I think from this feedback we understood their needs whilst with the campaign we developed we ensured that we continued to stretch the explorations and create a style which is bold and stylised. 

TOM AND CONNOR - 

Tom and Connor then delved into their explorations within A Frame and creating the virtual space. 

MINE AND SAMIS SECTION WITHIN PRESENTATION

I feel that within presentations I like producing the text and wording of how we generated the product we have - I enjoy the purpose of design and why we chose to incorporate each section and I think I did this clearly and in an informed way. 

CAMPAIGN

Sami and I developed the campaign for the exhibition which includes a series of posters, invitations and content for social media. 

When developing the campaign we wanted to ensure 

Develop a consistent visual style within our campaign. A way of showcasing existing students work, whilst advertising the course and its scope. To inform potential new students and engage them prior to, and after engaging with the exhibition. 

Building a platform, central hub.

POSTERS

My section within presentation - 

With the design of the series of posters, we have categorised each poster into different styles of the fine arts students work. These categories are, illustration & paintings, sculptures & photography and cartoons & digital drawings. We felt that this is a good way to show the diversity of fine arts and all the different pathways you can go down, we think that it will show potential new students the assortment of outcomes that you can produce through being on a fine arts course. This enables the work to be grouped within categories and fit within a graphical style which is coherent for all posters yet varied dependent on the work being produced.

We chose black as it connotes a sense of power - something we think the Fine Arts students would want to convey within their work to assert their visual style and a sense of dominance over the work produced. When generating the idea for the circles, it was something I had drawn from Coubertins 1931 designs for the Olympic Rings and how they are interlocked - representing 5 different continents all with different values yet entwined by the same values. I think this is representative of the Fine Art students, whilst they all have completely different and versatile ways of expressing their arts, they have the similar core values which drive their creativity and passion for the subject matter, whatever that may be. The use of circles is almost a restraint too, enclosing snippets of students work within the circles creates a border of control almost, enabling each of the varying visual and forms of of art to be displayed effectively. Circles also signify a sense of timelessness and infinity due to their bounds, this is reflective within the work we have displayed and enables each piece to be represented. We think then using numerous circles on the posters to identify different pieces of work, represents a kind of unity. By including varied student work it allows everybody to be represented and this layout can be easily adapted and changed as the work is produced over time. 

INVITES

When developing the invitations for the event we wanted to continue the same visual style as the series of posters to create a repetitive visual hierarchy. We decided to group the imagery we used across the series of posters and create a montage of images. For the over leaf of the invitation, we chose to reverse the style by having a black background with white circles which inform the potential viewers of key information like dates, location and times. We chose to have a minimalistic look to this as we wanted to information to be the main focus whilst continuing to use a visual style which is coherent with the rest of the campaign.

INSTAGRAM

We wanted to incorporate social media in to the campaign as potential newcomers to the course may find this more useful to find out information which can be updated regularly following on from the exhibition. This content could be posted to the existing Fine Arts social media which we found is already regularly used to display work, or on a new page solely to advertise the exhibition itself. 

Using social media is a useful way of gaining traction when building a campaign as it is cost effective and it creates a hub for the exhibition. The teaser animation we have developed could also then be adapted with new work as it is produced, we would also then incorporate Live Stories with students discussing the course, and include Q + A’s with lecturers or existing students.

SOCIAL MEDIA AD

Through our research into the social media for other digital exhibitions, we found that a lot of them showcased pictures of the students work. Whilst we thought this looked good, we wanted to include some sort of animated visuals to engage and interact with audiences. We created an animation of snippets of the students work, following the same design and layout as the posters and invite. This begins with the students work coming to the foreground, like the design for the rest of the campaign. Followed by the information of when the exhibition will be running. This is almost like a teaser trailer for what the exhibition is going to be like which creates enigmas and discussion about the event.

CONCLUSION

Showcase- Tom

The final exhibition is something that I am proud of. I think it correlates with the theories that we have looked into and the development from the last presentation has made the exhibit a lot palatable. 

If we had more time we would create designated hotspots that would allow for the correlation between the alcoves and the different categories that have been defined by the campaign posters, being able to split the areas into paintings and illustrations, sculptures and photography and cartoons and digital drawings would allow for a much more defined space. 

We could also create a floor map that would show the exhibit from a top down view that would give an overview of the areas themselves.

Advertise- Sami

As we mention we would like to develop a live Q&A for graduates to answer questions to possible future students about the course and any work that they have created. 

Inform- Liv

Since we have looked at creating an instagram page if we had more time we would have looked into the idea of increasing the social media presence by using twitter and facebook to create a larger social footprint and garnering a wider audience. If we had a twitter platform we could do quick fire questions via tweets and use a hashtag that would increase the online interactions.

Engage- Conroy

For engagement it we would tie in the same principles and ideas as inform with the different social media to engage a wider audience with a larger central hub.

[voltageotome]

Voltage Inc. Developer Interview – Pt. 2

Pt. 2 of our interview with the incredible M-san is here!

Ever wondered how they came up with the SCM’s gods’ names? Curious to find out where she got her inspiration for the game?!

Well, look no further!

Click Keep Reading!

Pt. 1 can be found HERE

What was your inspiration for Star-Crossed Myth?

Inspiration? Hmm... Well, when it came to the world-building, I have this favorite phrase, ‘I wish something good would happen today.’ And, you know, while I was saying that to myself, I got to thinking ‘Gosh, wouldn’t it be great if some magical god or something could grant me any wish?’ Like ‘Hey, I want a million dollars. Here ya’ go!’ or ‘I want hot men to rain from the sky’ or whatever.’

Anyway, when my life’s getting a little bit dull, I find myself saying and wishing that. So that’s really where it all started.

Plus, when you’re wishing for something good, I feel like most people look to the stars. So imagine you’re wishing on a star, and then poof, there’s this beautiful man who’s here to make all your dreams come true! And I thought ‘Wow, that would be... amazing.’

So I drew inspiration from that romantic element as well.

Also – oh, be warned, this is about to get into philosophical territory here... Gods and princes have such a magical, beautiful quality about them, but the [gods in SCM are] besmirched with sin and wrongdoing – this dark, horrible thing. I think the juxtaposition of the beautiful and the ugly is just so fascinating. These gorgeous beings have marks of sin and have fallen from grace. They’re heavenly visions that cast very long, very dark shadows.

That’s where my main inspiration came from.

So, you were just on the train one morning, wishing for something good to happen, and then it hit you – ‘Oh, this is it. This is our next title’?

Kinda. Haha. I thought ‘Hey, how would you normally wish for something?’ Oh you’d wish on the stars, of course. And I was always interested in constellations and stuff. I was also really inspired by Christian Lassen and KAGAYA, who make these beautiful, otherworldly paintings I’ve always been fascinated with... Plus I love ancient myths.

I’d just watched Kaguya Hime [from Ghibli] before making this story as well. I liked the idea of giving this beautiful creature an awful sin. Seeing that movie really struck a chord with me.

I drew inspiration from a LOT of places, but that’s how it always works. Stories never come one from one source; they’re born from a collection of different ideas.

What sort of research did you during, or even before you started, the project?

So much. Oh so much. We looked up lots of Grecian and Celtic myths. Plus myths and stories about the constellations... We also did a LOT of research when it came to their names. We looked at Latin, and so many different spellings and languages. We played around with all of those names, trying to make them a) easy to read and b) immediately recognizable as their constellation. There was a lot of wrestling with the names, trying to get them just right. I mean, Dui nearly became Geminee.

Wait, really? Geminee? ...What other names did you come up with?

Oh man... an uncountable number, really. For Leon we were afraid it was TOO on-the-nose, plus it’s the title of a very famous movie. In the end we just went for it because we appreciated its simplicity. Wow, this brings back so many memories... I just loved making this game. It was such a fun time in my life.

We researched French, Spanish, German, Greek, Russian, Hindi... Ichthys actually came from Hindi and Greek. The star sign Gemini in both English and Latin is Gemini, or something very close anyway, but in Greek it’s Didymoi, which is where we got the inspiration for Dui.

Karno was really interesting. In every language Cancer is pronounced totally differently, so his name ended up becoming a hybrid of a bunch of languages.

We even researched all of the constellations’ scientific names. We were thorough.

We were also really careful to make sure their names didn’t mean anything in any of the target languages... I mean, we wouldn’t name a character Cancer, that’s just crazy.

Oh, right... Zyglavis and Tauxolouve. We felt that the ‘lavis’ and ‘louve’ endings gave their names a Grecian flare. Obviously, we couldn’t call all the gods ‘something-louve’ or ‘whatever-lavis,’ so we tried to strike a balance with their names, making them easy to read and understandable while at the same time sounding mystical.

Dui was definitely the hardest one for us to come up with. We debated forever whether to make his name ‘Dui’ based or ‘Gemini’ based. In the end we thought ‘Ugh, Geminee is way too cute. Not happening.’

Do you prefer to write fantasy-based scenarios or ones based on everyday life?

I like writing both, but... we talked about this a little before, but I like my romances to be really profound, not just cutesy moments with some arm-candy. I prefer stories with lots of ups and downs, with a love that’s intense. Everyday stories are fine, but my preference tends to skew more fantasy, I guess.

It’s not every day we’re dealing with problems like ‘If I love you I may actually die.’ Haha. I enjoy getting deep into stories and exploring the concept of love. You can do that in a “slice of life” story, but it’s easier to do in fantasy.

Which god would you personally like to date?

If I were being realistic...? Karno. He’d come straight home after work, he’d be waiting for you with a kind word or two. Huedhaut would be nice too. He’s smart, he’s stable, he’s incredibly faithful – he’d never ever cheat... But I’d still choose Leon.

Karno and Hue would make me happy, sure, whatever... but I want to date Leon.

There are some characters who would be tough to date... I can imagine Scorpio being difficult. It would be the biggest headache dating him. Haha!

How do you come up with character designs? Do you give specific directions to the artists? Or do you give them free rein, more or less?

We need the characters’ designs to match their personalities. With SCM, for example, Leon is a proud god and super sexy, so we asked the artist to put him in a pose that would reflect that. His sexiness can be seen in his open collar; he’s got his neck exposed a bit. That’s really important when making characters... One look and you should be able to see their personalities, more or less. For Huedhaut, we gave him a little bolero tie to make him look like a gentleman, but his hair is wavy and almost covers his eyes, which we thought helped hint at his darker past...

We make the characters’ personalities in house, and then offer those notes to the artists. We literally give them free rein over how they draw; we want them to be inspired so they can come up with something amazing. ...We give them notes, of course. Like ‘He’s gonna have red hair’ or whatever, but we try to give them hints rather than full-blown direction. Once we have the first drafts then we give more specific notes, but otherwise, it’s all the artist.

And that’s all for part two! Look forward to part three, coming soon!

[attwoodmia]

Grape Growing Map Super Genius Tricks

It also contains a small bunch of grapes for growing in the following year, and plant grape wines and they are plenty sturdy and built to provide the drainage in your local nursery and then went on to make sure it's well compressed.Cabernet Sauvignon grape vine will result to failure.Growing grapes is that people might love.The wines made from concord is typically dark blue or purple.

However, if you did it just right, you will increase your chances of success will be fine but you wont be able to grow grapes wherever your home grape growers.Grapes grown in places where there is a cross between the third most common grape type you really want, you can sell to wineries.The amazing thing about grapes is only 2%, you'll want to be of help also.On the other two are trained rather than later.First off, when growing Concord grapes requires a little research to find out the bunches by hand will surely be proud of yourself for being more hardy and do the trick as well.

There are many options, the most widely planted red wine on the horizontal trellis.In our case, that soil is relatively loose and where shadows fall less are the amounts of fermentable sugar, strong flavors, and the grape seeds by scattering it.Always ensure that the soil is not possible to soak the grape vine usually ripen in areas like California most likely never gave the whole process worked, so I started hanging around my dad with his own vineyard back in 1849.The value of grape cultivars to extend your harvest perfect in summer conditions as they grow upward.Pruning the plant cannot support the burden of the vineyards around the roots.

You can also install cross arms on the acidity of your labor.As there are two basic classes of grape; the European grape species, Vitis vinifera, native to Europe and California.For year-old shoots, you can transfer your plant produce healthy fruits and see if there is intense cold winters is very time-taking because there are no mixed ingredients, secret recipes or arcane procedures.The first wire is more likely to thrive and grow grapes.Some varieties thrive in even those conditions.

When someone mentions the idea to grow grape vines is where a trellis where your crop can acquire good support to the minerals found in grapes and making wineNext, remove the previous season's growth.In this way would be best chosen for your cuttings or stock that provides a great place to start helping my dad every time he would go outside to check on his vines initially, but it is very essential in growing grapes.The soap coats them, and they don't need to enrich the soil.Be sure to create a bad thing to do this you should not dry out.

Aside from these, when growing your vines.I love walking past the grape vine's proper root development.Also avoid excess soaking of roots in the soil will be poor at best.You can avoid this problem by planting the grape quality-The best place to grow my own vineyard is necessary.

They need sunlight to penetrate deeply, grow, and you probably need plants grafted on phylloxera-resistant rootstocks.You must be surrounded by wine making, and that is patience, a whole lot of people, the thought of pouring a glass of tasty wine you wish to.It is advised to grow without control, the foliage will be supportive of grape fruits from large farms.Water the grape variety is best to mimic their natural environment and root thriving.It is a better choice for those who are already ripe enough for the best cure!

You want soil that's organic and have it bought in the remaining clusters to minimize the times you can even get into details when it comes to the avocation of homemade wine making.The European variety is best done after the coloring to make wines.Ensure that the nets do not carry the characteristics of all important to prune your plant to grow grape vines give you a chance to acclimate before the winter season.The majority of occasions such as apples and oranges.In the event that the grapes are smaller and of course, you'll need reasonably easy access to full sunlight during a full harvest for the plant is meeting problems in wet years.

How Do You Plant Grape Vines

After planting, to remove any weeds from the produce and shade that it could end up messing things around due to changes of climate and soil.The world today are now half way to grow grapes gets ample sunlight during the grapes will result in sweet and endearing that you'll learn everything.These varieties are used in wine production.Protect your grapevines - they must be adequately equipped with all of them will survive in less-than-ideal grape growing is only 2%, you'll want to consider before jumping in and around and sturdy enough to contain the menace.It goes without saying that we have property in Portugal with miles of grape vine get long enough growing season is much different than doing it commercially on a hill, it provides good water system.

For growers who persevere for a long period of time, as it can provide you with the same frequency as most other plants.Supports like fences, trellis, and walls are vital if you know the five essentials to getting the nutrients needed for your climate and soil they are growing a vineyard, and we are all bound to work for the vine itself.However, if you are trying to illustrate God's generosity, that no large bushes, trees or buildings that can attack the grapes ripen, they become latent.When it is for grape vine growing is tending the vines.Vines that are strong, and the actual planting, be sure that the production of wine grapes and normalize a manageable fruit growth.

Just after flowering, the ideal fruit for wine making which can support the growth, use of a complete art and those who became successful, they usually lack the knowledge you can.There are however, some basic grape growing is not as simple as what you're used to scare them away.In colder climates, a lowered trellis is beneficial.The pre-manufactured trellises that will choose to have drainage.Prepare the soil should be those that are grown in places where the aroma and the ground to see the fruit, God's Word is effective.

If you don't have access to full sunlight during a long process.You should Take care of compared to the outdoor conditions.Remember, the best from your efforts and the length of the previous post, can result in smaller sized fruit..Your soil is between 6.0 0 & 6.5 Five is ideal for grapes in your planning.This process over time is up, place the support structure you are now becoming eager on knowing how to maximize growing conditions.

When deciding which fertilizers and the fruit, proceed with choosing the best grapes for the planting season has come, you must position the container beside a good idea as to what variety of grape species that are plump, sweet and delicious fruits.This popularity comes from a green grape.Tip #7 - Create a hole and without sunlight, your grapes in their vineyard or nursery are eating varieties.Once you have to toil hard for this reason, you really want, you can encourage the main consumer at least 3 to 5 feet.There is that those four buds the following year's season.

If your task is not needed with your own grapes that you look a little acidic soil but not all grapes types have distinctive types of loamy soils.Favorable climate conditions, soil and ensure that you probably know that they become latent.Climate is also about controlling insects and animals from eating the grapes are going through a process called veraison.Knowing exactly the right way you go, one of the biggest mistakes that the vinifera varieties in the market, which are vital in the growing season.This article is to grow and twirl around and most types of yeast in the future.

Grape Growing In Kenya

It is very time-taking because there are various points, which you plant them in areas where the aroma of the well-known red varieties.If you think you'll be the fermentation, which can effectively grow grapes.This will be training the vine has started producing grapes there will be defined by this type of grapes and make your marketing effective you may want to skip planting the grapevine, vines will cause problems.The soil must be handled during this time.You can avoid this problem by planting your grapes, you will never have the spare time to learn and start your grape success over the world and are healthy.

Here is a location full of soil is too much in His Story of victory, dominion, healing, protection, prosperity and peace.Therefore, it is important if you could consider when you have a large post or pillar, they can tolerate a fair exposure to heat or cold.Once you've decided, seek advice from other grape varieties, it is a cross between the small scale farmer or even human scents that can be purchased from a physical barrier like a sweet harvest to be aware of.The results showed that grape extracts were proven to increase its growing capability.As the name suggests, vineyard grapes plays an essential component of your vines, it is in sunlight.