#not saying which ship this is about but i don't think it's even one i've really posted about on this blog

[pupmkincake2000]

So, I finished watching Arcane. I watched both seasons twice to be sure of my conclusions. I am not writing this to have a discussion, argue with someone or spread hatred towards certain characters. Basically, I am just expressing my opinion while the impressions are still fresh.

First of all. I think the series has not enough episodes, but not because I liked everything so much and want more, but because there was simply not enough time for the world exploration and the characters. I would add at least five episodes to each season to make things better.

I felt like the events were moving too fast, especially in s2. I can only praise the graphics, they are truly magnificent, also the action is divine, the dynamics, the movements, the special effects, the character desig... all of this is top notch.

But I have a lot of complaints about the rest.

Let's start with Vander and Silco.

Yes, I ship them. No, I don't think Vander is an abuser and a traitor, if you think otherwise, well, our opinions differ here. Vander is the best man of the show, you cannot convince me otherwise and he is probably the only man who I would have married in real life.

Vander is my sunshine, I love him and respect him, no matter what anyone says. And I sincerely wish for more characters like him in leading roles.

I really wanted more of their interactions. At least two more episodes to show their past, maybe their acquaintance and to expand on that scene in the river, which gave people a very strange opinion about their relationship.

Do I think Silco is good? No, he is selfish, he did a lot of shit and tried to kill the daughters of a woman who was his friend, he raised one of them to be a complete psychopath, lied to her… but in his own way he loved her. However, he still did a lot of shit. Do I hate him? No, I still ship him with Vander, but I don't think Silco's a good person. Do I think he's redimable? Maybe, but I hate when people use his past to redeam him, redemption is something you do now, past only explains how you became what you became.

Jinx. Despite everyone's love for her, I think she deserved everything she got. But I "admire" how the fandom is protective of her. A rough childhood in the past does not justify her behavior in the present. You may think otherwise, you may like her, but I do not, although I think she is a very bright and memorable character, but as a person, as a human being she clearly sucks. The part with Isha just popped out of nowhere and seems far-fetched.

Ekko. Ma boy! I love him, but there is a "BUT". Basically, Ekko is the one who started this whole mess. He was the one who gave Vi a tip about Jace's apartment, and basically, he is indirectly to blame for Vi's death in that AU and in our universe he is to blame for Silco tracking down Vander. That's all. But do I blame him? No.

Ekko and Jinx… well, I liked their dynamic and chemistry in the alternate universe. But I think they probably wouldn't have a future in the original one.

Vi and Caitlyn. Well… they just are. I find it hard to believe that two girls from literally different worlds could fall in love within only two days. Of course, I do not think that such romances aren't possible, sometimes you see two characters and that just becames so obvious for you, but I personally didn't have that feeling with these two. Again, I didn't have enough of their dynamic together. And also I can't be mad at Caitlyn for switching to Maddie. It did feel odd, tho. But she and Vi.. there was just one quick kiss between them, no love words, they didn't even have time to develop their feelings into a relationship. And then there was a sex scene. I don't hate this ship, it's bright and dynamic, but something was lacking between them for sure.

Jayce (whom I like the most in season 2) and Victor ship. This one is complicated. Let's start with the fact that I understand why people ship them. But… they didn't feel as a potential ship to me at all. Probably because I've seen enough of such ships and they don't surprise me at all. This is a ship of two friends, that's a common thing in fandoms. Two conventionally attractive guys, one of whom is built like a god. I like their dynamics individually, or as friends, but I will never argue with anyone that ships them, I will never say the ship has no right to exist or that they are "brothers" because someone said so. I don't care about them as a ship, but I see that people are inspired by it, and I don't see anything wrong with people considering them soulmates and lovers and I sincerely don't understand the hate towards the boys. I think it was obvious from the very first moment that peopple would ship them.

However, I will still add a fly in the ointment: I did not like Jayce's speech at the end of the series about Victor being perfect even with his imperfections he had…I just… Dude, are you serious? This imperfection is literally killing your friend and if what happened hadn't happened, he would have already died. His imperfection was causing him hellish pain, it is not even about the looks, bad habits like alcoholism and smoking, it's not even about physical limitations… it's about dying, for gods sake! So are you for real?

Maybe everyone sees this moment in their own way, but it was cringy for me to hear it, despite the beauty of the scene.

Vi and Jayce. I really liked their dynamic together, I would probably ship them, but alas. However, I liked their conversations, how they work together, I would like more moments with them, they would make great friends.

That's it, probably.

I'm glad that Mel will be in Nexus. And I also don't understand the hatred towards her, although I also don't think she and Jayce are a good couple, they should have remained just friends and colleagues.

[dragqueenstarscream]

as a starscream fan, what are ur thoughts on megatron? i know their relationship is. complicated so whatever ur opinions may be id love to hear

long ramble incoming. this isn't directed at you anon; i just have a lot of thoughts about megatron that i've kept bottled up for a while

my view on megatron is... complicated.

on the one hand, he's an incredibly iconic villain, and you could argue that without megatron, transformers as a property wouldn't be much of a thing. every iconic hero needs a villain. every optimus needs his megatron.

and he's a great villain! he's iconic for a reason. frank welker is my favorite voice for him, though i will say, my favorite megatron is tfa megs for how clever he is. it's refreshing to see when a lot of megatrons will brute force and anger their way through things.

but this is where my own personal biases color how i see him, because, i'm gonna be honest... for the most part, i really don't like him.

it's not because he's a poorly written character. i've spoken about this before, but i'm an abuse survivor who's still going through it, and megatron reminds me WAY too much of my abuser for me to really like him rather than just to appreciate him as a character. it's the big reason why starscream is my favorite. i see my tendencies in him, and i see megatron as my abuser, especially tfp and armada.

i think this is the big reason why i despise megastar as a ship. if you or anyone else likes it, that's fine! more power to you. i'm not gonna knock you as a person for it. but it makes me feel really gross whenever people draw/write it as "uwu toxic yaoi" or make them seem really in love with each other. to me, all i see is someone trapped in a cycle he can't escape from.

and i think my bias is why i pretty much refuse to read mtmte/lost light, because from what i know about it, megatron is given a chance at redemption. and... i just can't. i understand that a lot of people love these comics, and hey, they're probably really good! but i can't read something where i can so easily imagine this happening with my own abuser, and i put myself in starscream's shoes, wondering if anyone will actually take what i went through seriously.

it's one of the big reasons why the first season of earthspark was so good for me. finally, at last, starscream's abuse was taken seriously! he had someone who was willing to listen! even when people like optimus and dot were willing to get along with megatron, starscream was still going through emotional hell, and no one was willing to listen to him because, hey, megatron's good now! and starscream was a backstabbing traitor, who would listen to a guy like him? and when someone did, he started to change for the better.

but then the writing team got scrapped and his arc was flushed down the toilet. boo hiss.

either way, i can't read mtmte/lost light because i hate the idea of an abuser getting a second chance like that. i know that this is for character development/exploration, and i won't knock anyone who likes those comics. i just won't read them myself.

tl;dr, i recognize that megatron is an iconic character and i like some iterations of him, but for the most part, megatron reminds me of my abuser, which makes me really dislike him.

[mvmnbnv]

Hi! I love your blog!❤️ I Want to know what do u think on this:

I think it's crazy how you have to over explain to caitvi fans that Caitvi relationship is problematic. It's weird bc we have on-screen moments, explicit proves of the things we don't like on the ship and the caitvi fans keep talking about "media literacy", "nuance"... They should be the ones over explaing why it is a good relationship, not us.

And to be fair, I know there are some who over explaing it, but if u observe their explanation is always based on a distorted interpretation of scenes. For me their explanation it's like a Frankstein of ideas together, it requires much more work for making sense.

In conclusion, to see the Caitvi problematics u just need to watch the show!! But to don't see it u have to apparently have "media literacy" 😂

Fr like it's annoying at this point bc I know they're just repeating each other and have no good thoughts. And exactly that! If you take apart anything that they say it means nothing...

"Cait did this/that for vi" "Cait gave up her vengeance for vi" she didn't do shit for vi...she did that shit bc she was tired. And let's say she did do any of that for vi...she STILL treats her like garbage. Everything she does do for her is still done while she's condescending to vi and smacking tf out of her. And sorry if I'm not privy to the words of a writer who can't keep her story together for shit and who's writing is so ass it has to be cleared up in DMs. Cait never utters a single word in regard to vi and her motivations, it's all about her. She gave up bc she hated herself, according to her own words. Not because she loved vi. She "accepts" vi will choose her sister. She still treats her like shit. She still with her OWN WORDS minimizes the shit she's done to vi. And the big thing they REFUSE to acknowledge is vis psychology in all of this. It's almost like caitlyn is aware she doesn't owe vi anything genuine or need to put any work in other than "letting" her (which...ew considering she's now sitting on the knowledge of jinx being alive) see jinx and doing acts of basic human decency. The bare minimum. She knows she doesn't need to do anything for vi that gives her emotional stability bc vi is so desperate it doesn't even matter. She's got vi wrapped around her finger to the point where she won't call Cait out for hurting her and to the point of being willing to fight for a city that had her people under martial law for 6 months tops. But people don't care about how vis behavior makes this ship even worse, because like I've said before, if she was in a better place mentally she wouldn't even be in this relationship

Like yea we watched the same shit it doesn't mean anything.

[bomberqueen17]

how it's going

I am delighted so far by the responses to the post about signing up to beta/cheer-read the solarpunk tallship bisexuals novel I've decided to really give a go this year-- if you missed it, this is the post-- I have gone through and added everyone who signed up so far and it's a lovely mix of names I know and names I don't, not so many people it'd be hard to keep track and not so few that I'm worried about burning somebody out or totally winding up relying on one poor reader to keep my sanity going. I am also always pumped to get a lurker to de-lurk and say hi, not that there's anything wrong with lurking, I've got a few spaces where I lurk because that's what I need from that space. But it's always nice to be able to like, relate to somebody, y'know?

Not that you can really talk a lot in a google doc. I admit a lot of what's kept me going on Witcher has been having various little Discord threads where I can paste in whatever line I'm smug about, or that I'm stuck on for workshopping, and having a conversation about it, and not having that (I have a thread going in a Witcher discord but since it's off-topic it's kind of... well, low-traffic). I don't know if it's feasible to make a new Discord so I probably won't. But.

Anyway I will at some point turn that form off, but it seems to have worked pretty well so far as a method for adding people specifically to the doc, and I will leave it open and keep checking it for a little longer if any of y'all reading this were on the fence about signing up. I just can't rattle around alone in that doc and still keep my momentum. I'm only up to chapter three or so and the main plot hasn't even started but there's thusfar been at least one really confusing action sequence and I've realized that I've got a serious case of zero visual information being conveyed, so that's been helpful. Even with only a couple of readers-- ha, even the last couple of hours before I started adding people to the doc it had already done a lot of its job because I started proofreading with an audience in mind, which in my case tends to improve readability, which is what I want.

Listen, there's a noble purpose in telling stories for their own sake to yourself, but the idea of telling a story so that others can understand it is important to and I value it highly. So. That's what this is about.

So I've got a few people poking around in there with me and I feel much better about life and have some hopes I might make it over the hump into a real plot now, LOL.

But I think I'm gonna snippet post, which I haven't much with this work yet! (Have I? I forget. I started it in the fugue state of pre-holiday fuckery last year so who knows.)

bah i can't find a good snippet. well, here's a recently-composed one anyway.

As they approached the ship, Tom said, “You’ll tell the others, yeah? Simmons didn’t know. It ain’t his fault.” “I don’t know as it’ll help,” Keller said. “They’re mighty displeased about how you been treated. It reflects on them, y’know?” “It’s not so bad,” Tom said. “I’d rather be here than escorting the Barka convoy back to Subia in Jeanette all by my lonesome knowing damn well Righteous is waiting there for me with a bone in her teeth. No thank you, I’d rather not be set up on a suicide run like that. And you know if I got killed in a fourteen-gun sloop facing down a bloody-minded forty-gun privateer they’d tut-tut and say a proper Subian gentleman could’ve won.” “Oh sir,” Keller said. “You know they’d say that,” Tom said. “You know they would. No thank you, I will take my lumps and stick with Haines and I’ll thank you not to force me to defend poor Simmons the entire time. It weren’t none of his doing, Henry Keller, but that don’t mean I want to have to argue with the rest of you lot about him every blessed day of this commission.” “He’s also an ignorant sod,” Keller pointed out. “It don’t signify,” Tom said. “You know me and Yardley won’t let no harm come to the ship.” “Oh, Yardley,” Keller said. “I forgot he’s aboard. He’s been scarce.” Tom rolled his eyes. “He’s taking it well, too,” he said. He rummaged through the few parcels he’d brought back, and pulled out a bag and handed it over to Keller. “Share that out with your mess-mates,” he said. “And tell them-- it ain’t his fault, at all.” Keller took the bag with pleasure-- it was candy, Tom knew they’d have liked liquor better but he didn’t dare risk them being found with it and punished, with Simmons and not him in charge, so candy was safer. Keller looked back up at Tom, weatherbeaten face crinkled with a grin, and said, with a wry, grudging concession, “I’ll tell them.”

[theweeklydiscourse]

tw: mention of CSA and abuse

just saw your recent reblog about Nosferatu and idk what is your actual take on it but i've to disagree with the op saying <this is not a story about grooming nor abuse... it can be,> the movie is very obviously and directly concerned about sexual abuse and the uncomfortable eroticism only enhances the horror of the whole situation. i just find posts that constantly need to mention "it's not about abuse it really isn't!" entirely dishonest and intentionally denying the very obvious theme of the movie just so they don't have to face the fact that they liked a ship that is as noncon as it gets. it is essentially a grooming rapist/victim relationship which obviously makes people uncomfortable to admit which is why they don't want to acknowledge that. and that explains the vehement push back against the SA narrative (which isn't a simple interpretation but very much what literally happens in the movie). i just think that people need to just start being honest with themselves like there's nothing wrong if you end up liking an absolutely fucked up dynamic and the whole “death and the maiden” of it all but please stop with the "this isn't a story of abuse" takes because that is actually harmful. not the shipping but denying the fact that this is a movie about abuse because it has led to some very horrible takes of rape apologism with people saying "it's not abuse because she called to him so it can't be" like... no. just no.

There are a few issues at play in the current discourses surrounding Nosferatu. First, one side makes sweeping generalizations about what the film is definitively about, and then the other side counters it with its own sweeping statements. This predictably gives way to certain over-corrections in the discourse that try to find an absolute answer to subject matter that is up for audience interpretation. I actually had a similar thought occur to me when I read that quote in that particular post, and I say that as someone who is really into the "Death and the Maiden" dynamic. We're talking about a film that provides more than enough support for multiple interpretations and it's frustrating that people reject other people's ideas so they can have the *one ultimate correct* take on it.

This issue is exacerbated by the current internet climate of moralizing textual interpretations and the lack of understanding surrounding the genre Nosferatu belongs to. Gothic fiction often features taboo subject matter that is considered by many to be off-putting and disturbing, and usually, that leads to the judgement of those who enjoy it. The reason that people are overcorrecting by saying that it's not about abuse is responding to the denial of the existence of themes of repression, desire and love in the film. It's a phenomenon I also find irritating. Viewers who are totally unfamiliar with the kinds of themes and subject matter gothic fiction deals with seem to be imposing only one possible interpretation of the text while acting like people are immoral for thinking otherwise.

I also consider Robert Eggers's words in my own reading of the film. In an interview, Eggers noted that his approach to the film was informed by the trope of the "demon lover" and even referred to the relationship between Ellen, Orlok, and Thomas as a love triangle. The film is explicitly erotically charged in a manner that can be taken either way, and I believe that both interpretations are valid ones. Outright denial of interpretations of Ellen and Orlok's relationship as abusive seems foolish to me. But I also get why people might be uncomfortable fully acknowledging the more twisted nature of their dynamic. Nobody wants to get labelled as an abuse apologist over fictional matters or shipping, and there are times when merely engaging with darker subject matter gets people labelled as such. However, people need to stop being so absolutist about these things and learn to substantively engage with differing viewpoints.

I think that the online tendency to moralize fictional preferences plays a large role in people's resistance to being honest with themselves about liking taboo subjects or twisted dynamics. There's nothing wrong with liking it, but it's hard to do so openly without incurring some form of criticism and contempt. Denial gets us nowhere.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I've been watching/following your blog from a distance and like damn how do you do it? Like reading the stuff that goes down in the mdzs fandom is a chore. Seeing people constantly claim that they're morally superior to you just cause you like a villain sounds so exhausting, like to write pages upon pages upon pages about why you don't like a character and that anyone who likes said character is "stupid" seems like such a waste of time to me. Like you jgy (is that the correct acronym?) and jc fans are brave as hell. I swear fandoms used to be chill asf before and now you can't even claim to like A without someone saying B is better and you're morally/intellectually wrong for liking A.

My experience with fandom craziness was when someone wrote a 32 paged essay on why lunafreya & noctis (from ff xv) as a ship sucked balls and that it was abusive and like damn, imagine having that much time to waste, like I cannot wrap my head around that, it's so wild to me. I shall continue from afar might one day give mxtx a chance but hot dawg it ain't for me you guys are scary asf💀

truthfully anon, i am still here because 1) i have poorly managed adhd and 2) jin guangyao is who my dopamine-deficient brain latched onto back in 2022 when i first watched cql and then read the novel. like you’re extremely right that the fandom environment here is super hostile and unpleasant to people who like him and jiang cheng and xue yang, and i don’t blame anyone for deciding to give the books a pass because they can’t deal with this fandom! life is short and there are certainly better books out there with more relaxed fandoms to wade into.

all that said, i’ve made some really good friends in this fandom, which would be worth the experience all on its own. but i also think that jin guangyao is just a truly unique character who defies easy categorization into archetypes or tropes. so even if you decide to give the fandom a miss, i think it’s still worth picking up the books for him.

[nazghcul]

"That's nice of you bestie, i'm glad his words no longer hurt you like they used to however, that doesn't give my man a pass to continue doing it. He also needs to learn how to be respectful and careful but Bryce and Ludo don't know either, a pro but also a con. I get it they have no filter and say it how it is, at least they're honest about it. I'm happy you and Bryce are friends but the broski's should be mindful, it doesn't cost a lot to be mindful really. " AJ shrugged, he knew the broski's won't learn. But neither wanted to see his anger, he knew how to suppress it and not take control. It gives him relief knowing that Bryce changed his attitude towards his bestie, those were subtle which he's noticed for some time. "Yeah i know, it's not cool he waited a long time to be a nice friend. And, while many not think i'm not the jealous type i am. I guess i handle it differently. Bryce knows that i'm a jealous guy, i've seen people at events get too close and touchy with him. I don't like it at all. It's infuriating to be honest. He pays them no mind, he's always enjoying his free snacks and beer but i see those idiots wanting a piece of him. I recently saw this one guy with dark curly hair, blue eyes get too close. And boy, did i hate that so much. He was lucky we were in public." AJ rolled his eyes, he still saw the paparazzi pictures and saw the comments most people made. Some even shipped them, how crazy. "I've see so many of ludo wannabes lately, is that a trend? " he asked a little concerned with that since Ludo has been everyone's favorite model, having him as the face of his clothing brand was unexpected. When AJ started this, it was small work at first. He knew people here and there within the fashion industry that gave him advice, however he had great connections although AJ did it all himself, now he had a small team with great backgrounds and who truly enjoyed his brand. And everything went smoothly and successfully since. But Ludovic seemed to fit his the vibes and energy, he has charisma, sex appeal, heavy masculine confidence. Ever since Ludo has been over booked because everyone loved him even though Ludo himself had a hard time adjusting to the spotlight, still does.

"But your wedding should be the real focal point, no distractions. I have everything set and planned. I've asked Trudy and Cris to be the face of my new collection and while they take care of that, i'll take care of you. I'm very excited about this wedding i'll be honest. We can all hope for some peace, i know Sofia would want that and even Angelo. I know that man is done with the shenanigans. Can't blame him really. He's been spending so much time with Sofia, like, are they a thing Bestie? i know Gabe was fooling around with him but i don't know, i see heart eyes with those two unless i'm mistaken here." He pointed out. Gabe probably fumbled Angelo, took too much pride on the club than living a normal humble life. AJ didn't care at least Angelo found a great friend in Sofia, someone normal and kind. But if they were dating, that would be cool. "Wine and fabrics, that's my love language you know." he smiled, gesturing the other while grabbing a bottle of wine while mention Bryce and women during events. Setting the bottle of wine and the fabric samples he had everywhere, because when did he not? AJ always had an idea pop up with different fabrics. He snorted to Benji's question and laughed. "Of course i give him the silent treatment, he whines and cries. There are small occasions that i give in not going to lie. Other times, my anger is too much and i stand my ground. I don't give him anything, not even a kiss. That doesn't surprise me that he asks Ludovic about how he seems to avoid your silent treatments, i think i know though. Ludovic never shuts up about how his charms always work on you. Whether mad or not, they seem to work on you and you give in. The sex is that great bestie that you can't say no? " he teased, giving his bestfriend a smirk.

Benji   chuckled   a   little   bit,   but   when   AJ   mentioned   Ludovic's   ego,   he   couldn't   even   stop   himself   from   laughing.   ❝You   have   a   point,   Bestie,❞   he   admitted   audibly   amused.   Maybe   he   has   really   been   a   little   worried   deep   down   inside,   even   though   Benji   never   posted   anything   too   private   on   that   fan   account.   But   his   captions   sometimes   sounded   a   little   obsessive.   That   was   a   fact   he   kept   secret   from   AJ   for   now   (though   Benji   was   certain   that   his   bestie   knew   that   already).   ❝Of   course.   I   know   your   man.   The   day   he   doesn't   comment   on   something   is   when   I'll   be   seriously   worried.   You   don't   have   to   worry.   Between   you   and   me,   Bryce   doesn't   annoy   me,   nor   do   his   words   hurt   me.   I   just   play   along   often   and   give   him   a   glare.   But   I   wouldn't   want   Bryce   to   be   any   other   way.   He's   been   a   very   good   friend   after   Ludo's   accident.❞   A   soft   sigh   fell   from   his   lips   when   the   topic   came   to   Ludo's   copy.   ❝He   knows.   I   immediately   told   Ludo   about   it.   He   just   rolled   his   eyes.   It   felt   like   I   was   much   more   furious   than   he   was.❞

But   what   could   really   become   a   problem   was   the   wedding.   Ludo   was   able   to   roll   his   eyes   at   his   Italian   copy,   but   things   will   get   heated   when   Amaru   was   involved.   And   it   was   certain   to   say   that   Benji   was   nervous   for   his   big   day.   ❝I   hope   so   too.   My   only   hope   is   that   Amaru   will   hold   back   because   of   Sofia's   presence.   Or   maybe   your   twin   will   hold   him   back.   Amaru   isn't   a   big   fan   of   Cris.❞   However,   this   was   a   whole   new   topic.   Benji   would   rather   go   through   all   the   fabrics   with   his   best   friend.   ❝Wine?   Did   I   hear   wine?   Now   we   are   talking.   Come   on.   Let's   go   through   all   the   fabrics.❞   Yet,   the   information   he   got   about   AJ's   relationship   with   Bryce   caused   Benji   to   widen   his   eyes.   Never   has   he   thought   that   women   were   still   interested   in   Bryce.   Then   again,   Benji   tended   to   forget   that   Bryce   had   just   as   many   booty   calls   as   Ludovic.   ❝I   shouldn't   say   that   but   I'm   kinda   glad   that   you   get   jealous   as   well   at   times.   Though   let   me   guess,   Bryce   was   only   there   for   the   snacks   and   some   beer.   Did   he   whine,   though?   When   you   gave   him   silent   treatment,   I   mean.   I   overheard   a   conversation   between   him   and   Ludo   the   other   day   asking   how   Ludo   avoids   my   silent   treatment.❞

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[rabnerd28]

Listened to the latest WCD episode and I had to turn it off. Like, am I technically making myself upset, yeah. But it's like, actually making me think about how much I don't like that apparently a thing was happening, and there's less of an open interpretation now, among other things.

[danmeichael]

i need to work on my chengxian fics....

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

[starmagnets]

"old man yaoi" they're not even middle aged what are you talking about

[copiawife]

i got a couple little metal cardinal charm things at work to put in my husband shrine yippee!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)

[winter-spark]

I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.

I think it's fear of being wrong.

[ambrosiagourmet]

I've been thinking about Laios' succubus lately. Mulling it over a bit.

Because I've seen these pages brought up a fair bit, but almost entirely in the context of shipping (on all sides, really). And I really want to understand what they are doing for the story beyond that.

When I went back to reread the scene and section, a few things caught my interest: the way Laios responds to both forms of his succubus, the themes of the volume the chapter is found in, and the other events of the chapter itself.

So let's dive into those three things, and what I think they say about the succubus scene's purpose.

Laios is never fully frozen by the succubus

So. If you compare Marcille and Chilchuck's reactions...

to Laios':

-

There is a difference. Sure, the basics may look the same once it turns into Scylla Marcille, but even then, it functions differently.

Chilchuck and Marcille are completely frozen once they catch sight of their succubus. Izutsumi, as well, isn't able to look away, and completely freezes up once her 'mom' starts talking to her. As Chilchuck describes, "just looking at them makes you unable to move."

And yet, Scylla Marcille has to actively convince Laios to comply. He even looks away from her at one point!

Laios accepts this succubus, but he is never actually helpless to it in the same way. Taken in? Convinced? Sure, at least enough to let things happen that he probably should question more than he does. But magically compelled? Not really. Not the same way as everyone else is. So that's interesting. But let's move on for now.

2. Volume 9 is all about drive and desire

I don't often look at chapters within the context of the volume they are included in, but I think there's some really fun things to be found with that perspective in mind.

For one, volume 9 starts with an exploration of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

And ends with a question of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

It's also very concerned in general with questions of why people do what they do. Why they are in the dungeon, why they are with the people they are with, why they stay, what they fight for.

In addition to Laios, we see it with Marcille...

Izutsumi

Kabru

and Mithrun

Hell, we even get it for the demon!

It's certainly not the only volume concerned with desires and motives, but it is particularly focused on these ideas.

The succubus scene fits quite well into the ongoing question about desires, especially Laios' desires. It is even placed at an interesting spot within the volume. The volume is six chapters long, and the scene takes place at the start of the 4th chapter. It's almost smack-dab in the middle.

With all this in mind, it is interesting that, with both versions of the succubus Marcille, it's not totally clear which parts of her Laios is rejecting.

The first version of Marcille looks human, but Laios attacks when he identifies her as a monster. The second Marcille looks like a monster, but he seems to believe that she is the real (human)(ish) person that he knows. So is he rejecting the monster at first, and then accepting the person? Or is he rejecting humanity and only interested in the monstrous?

Something to consider as we look at the next point...

3. the rest of the chapter is a seduction, too

This is one of those things that might not be apparent on a first reading, but is crystal clear on a revisit. We see the succubus try and charm Laios over 7 pages, and then see the Winged Lion do the same thing for the next 19.

Much like the succubus, it offers the mingling of monsters and humans. Much like the succubus, it offers belonging.

(and this is the point where I absolutely must also link this post by fumifooms on the succubus, which has some great ideas on how the scene is informed by Laios' trauma and desire for acceptance!!!)

But, back to the point. The Winged Lion wants to feed on Laios just as much as the succubus did, and it uses similar strategies to try and make that happen. Though this chapter isn't really the turning point for the next Lord of the Dungeon (it is Marcille who will, eventually, become the Lion's next victim), it certainly behaves like it is.

Laios is convinced. The succubus gets its meal. By the end of the volume, the reader begins to understand how concerning his desires are. Together, it is all very good at building up that sense of dread and pending disaster, as we see exactly how and why Laios might just fall into the Lion's open arms and bring about the end of the world.

-

So that's the three things I noticed. But there's still something I want to touch on by looking at the way these observations overlap, and what they reveal, together.

As I said, by the end of the volume, you can feel the tension growing. Just as Kabru and Mithrun do, you look back for an answer to the questions that have been built, chapter by chapter: why is Laios here? Where will his loyalties fall? This chapter, and scene, seem to prove the inevitable truth: he will choose the monster, of course. He will choose the seductive, easy power of the Winged Lion.

But the details of what actually happens tell different story: one in which the Lion is wrong.

First, as a reminder - even in Scylla Marcille mode, the succubus never fully entrances Laios. It convinces him, but it doesn't have him completely under its thrall.

Similarly, in the dream, the Lion does convince Laios to embrace the world he is offering. But even within that dream, Laios continues to ask questions that will be vital to him later. It is because of those questions that Laios comes to a new understanding about Thistle.

And it's this realization that he cites later as part of his reason for refusing the Lion's offer.

He is thinking through things the entire time, just like he continues to question the succubus even after it turns into Scylla Marcille.

Laios also expresses an interesting reason for why he wants to see the future of this world. He's not just invested because it would mean people liking what he likes, or him getting to spend time with monsters. The thought that comes immediately before his acceptance is about what he wants for monsters and people.

I don't think it's a coincidence that this statement - "we're living beings that share the same world, but all we can do is keep killing each other" - can apply to the various humans races just as much as it does to humans and monsters. The thing he is thinking about here isn't just a matter of his personal daydreams. It's an idea that underpins every conflict in the story.

Laios caring about how people as well as monsters in this manner is something that the Lion gets wrong every time. Even at the end, he still frames Laios' desires entirely around hating people and loving monsters.

The Lion has heard him express an opinion about the future of the world! It happened right there in the dream, right in front of him! He just didn't take it seriously, and didn't view it through any lens other than "Laios likes monsters more".

He's convinced that he understands how to get to Laios. Maybe the Lion can't truly see everything, or maybe his vision into everyone's deepest desires has made it hard for him to realize how much choice still matters. That people can, and do, choose which desires to act on, and how to act on them.

Whatever the case, he's wrong about Laios, and the story shows us this over and over again.

After all, look at how the succubus interaction plays out:

A monster uses Marcille to appeal to Laios...

He realizes that something about the situation is wrong, and rejects her.

It changes strategies, and makes new offer: to turn him into a monster.

It also assures him that his friends are, or will be, taken care of.

He accepts. Or rather, allows the monster to have its way with him.

But Laios is not as helpless as he initially appears, and what the Lion thinks is a successful seduction also contains the seed of an idea that will allow Laios to later resist him.

We even get to see Izutsumi playing a similar role in both instances, as the one person fully able to take action in the face to the illusion.

The story lays out what is going happen, and then explicitly tells us that the demon and the succubus are thematically related.

The chapter performs a great sleight of hand here - everything about it seems to indicate that Laios is doomed give in to the option to have his deepest desires realized. But if you look closer, it also contains the evidence that he won't. There's a lot more going on for him.

Yes, he still falls for obvious tricks. He is still extremely into monsters, and he still doesn't feel like he fits in with other people. He may, deep down, crave to surrender to the monstrous - to let it absorb him. But he questions more than he seems to. He considers more than people realize. He cares so much more than anyone gives him credit for.

And I think this is part of why we see the succubus called back to so many times, especially with the wolf head addition to his Monster Form, which he specifically added due to his encounter with the Scylla Marcille.

This all stays with Laios. It doesn't just foreshadow the path of the story, it is fundamental to how and why he walks that path. It's not about him choosing monsters, and it's not about him choosing people. It's about how he considers both, and cares about both.

And it's about the forces that think they already know his answer. Mithrun and Kabru. The Winged Lion. The succubus.

It's about how they are wrong.