#not really i said that for dramatic effect i think its like 10 with train

[jaylaraye47]

BRO I WAS READING ABOUT NORWAY AND AHSBRUEU???1?1!1!1

THATS MY FUCKING TEACHER

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S2 Ep 6

Previously on TGCF…

This is gonna be epic!!!

Cw: Past homicide

-That’s Yong’An in its heyday 

-Sparrows

-Fang Xin

-It’s Qianqiu’s assistant from Eps 1-2!

-Young Qianqiu is literally me in my Freshman year of High School during the first semester

-His butterfly shaped mask

-Writing the Laozi 10 times has the energy of making a kid stay in class and write a sentence over and over on the chalkboard till they’ve learned their lesson (Literally every Simpsons opening)

-He doubled it

-Imagine if Piandao talked to Sokka like that when beginning his sword training

-Man wonder who voices Young!Qianqiu?

-I mean the move could also get you hurt if you’re careless

-This is the Ancient Chinese version of the trolley problem, same analogy though

-I like to think this advice was taught to Zuko and Sokka when they were learning swordsmanship

-See, trolley problem esque

-Good advice to not intervene

-More dead bodies

-Oh no and that was his Dad

-That’s when the survivor’s guilt set in

-I can see why Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are perfect for each other, they both have a freaking high kill count

-Just like when Bruce Wayne lost his parents

-What did he say?

-He’s not a monster

-That was during his second ascenscion

-That’s gonna be a bad outcome

-“I wish to be stripped of my divinity” Literally every fangirl’s brain drifted to something else when he said that.  Just look at Kictor and Stitch

-Doesn’t seem like he earned it at all

-He just wants to get out of the drama

-If there was a modern AU, you know Shi Qingxuan would make an awesome and wealthy defense attorney

-There’s the Amongus quote

-Dang no answer

-There’s Prosecutor Pei Ming, that’s a good nickname.

-He made a solid point

-That’s the result of the Fang Xin trial with XL on house arrest and a restraining order from Taihua

-He made another enemy

-Aaaa pickle jar, better believe it Qingxuan

-How is she going to get air???

-That upset Qingxuan, Feng Xin, and Mu Qing

-The interior looks hollow in Xie Lian’s palace

-That’s coming out of Qingxuan’s pockets

-He deserves the apology hun

-He’s doing it, he’s doing the iconic old time Put your head between your arms against a flat surface like a Disney Princess!

-He still has the dice

-It’s snake eyes!

-Hi Mu Qing

-Stick it to Jun Wu, Mu Qing

-I know right, it did NOT seem like a healing spell at all

-Wonder if I can conceptualize a similar healing potion for TOH MTC…?

-You just had to ask him that didn’t you?

-Hi Feng Xin

-A guest who invited himself inside

-Welp he really was honest

-Seriously, Mu Qing you couldn’t have felt bad for his house arrest

-Xie Lian’s trying to mediate again

-Mu Qing’s response had bite to it

-One Punch!!!

-Fist Fight!  Fist Fight!

-“You’re a hypocrite, you’ve always looked down on me, but you’re not better than I am!!!”  Oh my gods, Lucien Dodge freaking delivered!!!

-“Enough…” Oh man, Xie Lian’s emotions

-The Junior Officials witnessing the Generals fisticuffs:

Feng Xin!  Feng Xin!  Feng Xin!

Mu Qing!  Mu Qing!  Mu Qing!

-“Did it really have to come to violence?” Yeah it pretty much did. - Iroh, dragon of the West, the Waterbending scroll

-Mu Qing: Fine I’ll break your face

Feng Xin: Not if I break yours first!  It’s too late to beg for mercy!  

That’s what I translated to the best of my skills during Xie Lian’s internal monologue

-He’s like a parent that’s disappointed with his two kids constantly at odd

-Don’t worry, hon what’s really gonna help them is Couples’ therapy, and I’d hate to be that therapist

-A dramatic sound effect!

-I can’t wait to write the Gaang’s reaction to the Wraith Butterflies

-That was a cool shield spell

-I love how the butterflies are easily dodging Xie Lian, but are charging toward Mu Qing and Feng Xin to scare the sh*t outta them

-He’s gonna hold one of the butterflies, he’s holding one of the butterflies, yeah too late man AND HE’S NUZZLING THE WINGTIPS WITH HIS NOSE Cue keyboard smash! WAE TESDHGFYFJ. RYGJ GUFTDRSSDFAEGRRESVGTGTRS DFGSTRWG EIEEEIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! I always love this joke, no matter how old it’s gonna get in my reaction posts.

-Yeah he’s just going

-The real reason this episode took so long to air last year was that the animators had to get the waist snatch scene past censorship to spite their censor companies for not having Xie Lian fall into Hua Cheng’s lap in Eps 4-5.

-Xie Lian: Hello Again, Literally me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (This is the same noise Eleanor Shellstrop made when she was gifted a Shrimp Dispenser in The Good Place)

-They’re just backing up

-You two had one job!  Looking at you Feng Xin and Mu Qing!  I see ya

-He’s just tugging his sleeve as they’re walking

-Man, it’s like Hua Cheng took Little John’s advice from Robin Hood 1973 to “Climb the palace walls.  *Tosses out Gross Carrot* Sweep him off his feet, carry him off in style.” - Little John, Disney Robin Hood (1973) (Best Disney film hands down, freaking fight me if you dare)

-That must’ve hurt his ears

-Y’all had one job

-Feng Xin is just worried

-*Hua Cheng has entered the chat*  Like a goat!

-The subtle eye contact and expression he shared with Xie Lian!

-Some of the 33 gods he defeated are also in the chat

-That shook the veils

-Won’t that be pain in his mind?

-Looks like he saved you yeah

-A flashback from Ep 5!

-Touchstarved!  Touchstarved!  (Try prying this headcanon from my cold dead grip!)

-And here you’re about to see Howard Wang’s best performance in the series so far

-Best apology I’ve ever heard in media

-It healed that fast

-Petition to have James Cheek voice an iconic lead character in a Shakespeare play?

-Aw, they were actually both at fault for what happened

-You can actually feel Hua Cheng’s Shame

-E Ming: Noooo…. You hurt him!  I hurt him!  We hurt him! AAAHHH!  *sobs*

Season 2 has fed us once more!  I’m still busy with writing the Scrap Immortal and the Avatar.  For writing inspiration, I’ll be busy rewatching Avatar:  The Last Airbender

[manonblaqkbeak]

Fire and Ice

hello, hope you’re all doing well. i’m doing a double feature today since its the 20th here in aus. so todays fic is for day 19 and 20 (like, if u squint lol).

its a lil bit more angsty then i planned for it to be in the beginning, but its got some fluff at the end. (also, again, i borrowed the 10 month pregnancy plot from acotar)

1.9k words

enjoy!

The bathroom tiles were cool against Aelin's clammy skin as she slowed her breathing. As she willed herself to stop feeling so dizzy.

Four months into her first pregnancy and Aelin soon came to realise what the worst part of pregnancy; the morning sickness.

Or, as Aelin liked to call it, 'whenever it rutting happened' sickness. Morning, midnight, dawn, she often found herself running towards a bathroom, emptying her stomach loudly for the whole damned kingdom to hear.

She was aware of the rumours flying around, that there were friendly bets going throughout the city as to whether or not Terrasen was going to have a prince or princess (apparently, the majority were betting for a boy, but Aelin didn't care what she had, as long as they were healthy), but neither her or Rowan confirmed the pregnancy, and so the rumours stayed as gossip, until she and Rowan were comfortable enough to officially announce it.

Aelin wanted to wait because of how hard it was to conceive—it had taken her and Rowan over three years to be successful, and while she knew that three years wasn't that long, it was still hard when nothing happened—and was scared that if she said it out loud, then something horrible would happen. She hadn't even told her friends, although she knew that they knew; the rumours would have reached them. She appreciated that they hadn't asked either of them. Other than Rowan, the only other person that knew of her pregnancy was her personal healer, Magnolia. Other than Yrene, the demi-Fae was a healer than Aelin felt comfortable around, because even after a decade later, she still had nightmares about her time in Maeve and Cairn's cruel hands, the never ending chain of healers coming to fix her so she could be tortured again and again.

Rowan wanted to wait because of everything that happened to Lyria and their child. There were many nights when Aelin would wake up and find Rowan just watching her, his hand against her slowly growing stomach, and not only could she see the pain in his eyes as he thought back on what happened all those centuries ago, she could also feel it, like a living thing. Aelin knew that Rowan did his best to stop her from sensing his dread, but she wasn't a fool, and she would have known how he was feeling even if they didn't have the bond between them, even if she was miles away, she would know.

The bathroom door opened and Rowan was helping her up, his hands warm and gentle against her clammy skin.

Aelin was far too tired to ask if one of her handmaids called for Rowan after Aelin ran from their shared closest and into the bathroom, or if he felt her distress through the bond.

It was probably both. She would ask once her head stopped spinning.

Resting her head against her mate's chest, Aelin breathed in his scent, letting the pine-and-snow of him calm her senses. His strong arms wrapped around her, his tattooed hand running up and down the length of her spine as his right hand was a steady presence against her lower back.

How long they stayed like that, Aelin wasn't sure, but once her head stopped spinning, she rinsed her mouth out to get rid of the pungent vomit taste that was lingering. Once satisfied that the taste was gone, Aelin let Rowan lead her to bed—not the closest.

“Rowan—” she started to say, but her husband cut her off.

“That was a strong one, and Magnolia said that it's best to rest afterwards.” So he felt it through the bond, then. “I'll take over, and you can stay in and read that book you've been eyeing all week.”

She should say no, that she was fine, but a day of rest did sound nice and probably something she desperately needed without knowing it—and she really had been wanting to read the book that Dorian had sent her the other week (which she had to write a detailed review of when she sent it back. It was one of her favourite past times, especially if it was a book that Dorian loved, but she didn't particularly like, because his response to her review was always the most dramatic thing that always made her laugh).

“Fine,” Aelin said, “I'll rest and you can go deal with Head Teacher of the Academy.”

Rowan groaned at the mention. The Fae male that ruled the magic school was nice, but just so damned pedantic that he had a say about everything. And everything was falling apart, according to him, despite the fact that the school was built only five years ago. “I swear,” Rowan grumbled, “that if he complains to me that the school halls aren't the right shade of brown, I'll throw him out the window.”

Aelin laughed, because she had said the same thing when the male had come around complaining that the roof tiles were crooked last month and she had sent Rowan to check on said tiles (and what a surprise to absolutely no one that the tiles weren't at all crooked), but that wasn't enough for the Head Teacher, when he came back the next week, he wanted the tiles replaced.

If he wasn't so damned talented and good with children and running the school, she would have had him fired for being a nuisance. But unfortunately, neither she or Rowan couldn't just get rid of him because he was annoying.

“Make sure that your shirt is tucked in neatly, or you'll get the same speech about cleanliness like last time.”

Rowan flared his nostrils at that, but said nothing as he got up and changed his crumpled tunic for a fresh one—not at all tucked in—and began his fussing.

Truthfully, she was surprised that he lasted that long.

He left her a glass of water, and a pitcher full of the liquid on her nightstand, and the bowl of seasonal fruit next to it. Next was opening the balcony doors to let in the fresh air, and then the fluffing of pillows and straightening of the quilt and bed sheets—Aelin may have teased him a little by saying that the sheets were too tight, and then too loose, having to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing as he huffed at her ever-changing mind, until she decided that the sheets were just right after five minutes of readjusting.

Aelin watched it all with a small smile on her face, even as she grumbled about his fussing tendencies—but she knew he did it from a place of love, and that he wanted her and the baby to be comfortable.

He even went as far as to check her forehead, and gave her a wash cloth to freshen her up from her earlier sweating. At least she was already in a cotton nightgown and didn't have to get changed—although she knew that if she had too, Rowan would have brought the clothes over himself.

Once he was satisfied that Aelin was comfortable, he left with a kiss on the lips and a promise that he would see her once he was free, Aelin cracked open the book, but fell asleep thirty minutes later with an unexpected headache, a hand on her stomach.

X X X X X X

It was a rare day when Rowan had an empty afternoon, there was always someone to see, something to do, someone to write back to, that when Rowan finished his meeting with the Lords and Ladies of Terrasen and there was no one waiting for him in the audience chamber, Rowan was the first to leave the meeting, needing to check on Aelin. He hated how pale she looked when he left, but when he spoke to Magnolia quickly, the skilled healer told him that it was perfectly normal, but she would check in on Aelin to make sure that everything was okay—and since he wasn't called for during any of his meetings, he took that as a sign that things were fine.

The fact that the bond was quiet also assured him. He had tugged on it during at some point when one of the Lords was rambling, and he got a tired tug back, effectively telling him that Aelin was sleeping. So he let her be, and he sat in his worried state alone.

Rowan was excited for the baby, to take this step with Aelin, but Gods, he'd also hadn't been this tense, this paranoid that something was going to happen in so long. Rowan didn't think he'd feel like himself until he held their child in his arms, but Aelin still had six months to go.

And sometimes...sometimes he found himself wondering about the child he lost with Lyria. What they would have looked liked, if they would have been tall and broad like him, or slim like her. He also wondered how long their child would have been safe before Maeve claimed the child, having them trained to be a warrior like Rowan, or if Maeve would have cast them aside like she had done to Lyria, who Maeve saw as nothing but a pawn to use and toss aside.

His thoughts kept spiralling, his mind going from one thing and another, but stopped when he heard the sloshing of water and a relived sigh once he got closer to his rooms. He made his way through the space and soon came to the bathroom where Aelin was resting against the porcelain tub. Her skin was a light pink from the hot water, but otherwise looked healthy.

Rowan just stood and watched her for a moment and let the contentment from the bond wash over him. The steam danced through the air, carrying Aelin's scent with it, and the indescribable scent of their child within her.

“Are you going to stand there all afternoon?” Aelin asked, her eyes still closed, “or are you going to join me?”

Rowan decided to join her, managing to hold back his wince as he made contact with the boiling water—how Aelin found the hot as hell water relaxing he would never know.

When he was comfortably behind her, Aelin leaned against his chest, and took his hands and placed them against her growing belly.

“Magnolia visited me a few hours ago,” she said. “She says that soon the nausea will pass.”

“Good,” he said, letting the words settle in him.

Rowan was about to lean back against the bath when Aelin's fire filled the air in thin ribbons, moving as smoothly as water as it flew past him. His own magic moved in response, and soon his ice and wind joined her fire, going around the room, filling it up with the differences in temperature. And from the tub, a water butterfly the size of Aelin's palm lifted into the air, its movements delicate but strong as it came towards him. Aelin turned to look at him, her brows furrowed lightly in concentration.

The butterfly came to rest on his nose, and then exploded in his face.

Aelin laughed at his incredulous expression. Rowan shot forward and flicked water in her face, and soon almost all of the bath water was on the floor as they splashed at each other back and forth.

Rowan's troubles melted away with his ice and Aelin forgot about all of her nausea and stress temporarily.

Aelin couldn't wait to meet her baby, and she knew that Rowan was the same.

Six months couldn't come soon enough.

[lightsaberupmybutt]

A Friendly Massage (2) - Luke Skywalker x FemReader

part one is here!

This imagine is over 5000, this imagine is over 5000 words, this imagine is over 5000 words. i don't know why this is so long, i just wanted to write a quick little part two and its 5000 words of tension and smut and I'm not even sorry, you did this to yourselves.

warnings: SMUT was a tiny slice of oral (male receiving ) on the side, enjoy.

Day to day life carried on as it always had after your run in with Luke the other night, however you knew something had shifted.

 And he certainly felt it too. Your usual good mornings and friendly waves in passing were met with stuttered, awkward greetings and a gaping lack of eye contact. It was obvious that something had to be said to resolve the growing tension between the two of you, but you'd be damed if you were the one to address the elephant in the room. Besides, it was HIS rather large, excitable elephant that had causes the issue in the first place. 

So you waited, biding your time and convincing yourself that on some level this refusal to acknowledge your lust was actually just subliminal jedi training. patience is important right? that seemed to be something Yoda would approve of? abstinence? Although he probably wouldn't be proud of your solo late night escapades that were fuelled by fantasies of what the Blonde Jedi would have done to you if he had just had a smidge more confidence; how he would have looked underneath you while you rode him, unraveling with your every bounce, lips parted whispering your name repeatedly like its the only word he had ever been taught. You wondered if he even liked being ridden, or was he the more dominant of the two of you ? you doubted it, as much as he showed great strength and leadership in the training hall, Skywalker didn't give off the sexual prowess of someone who was largely well experienced, it made sense that he wouldn't be left with much time for bedding girls around you know, saving the whole entire planet from his own fathers borderline demonic regime. 

Truly, though, you had never felt like he wouldn't know what he was doing. Especially after that massage he had given you, even if it was a tad brief. Like knew how to use his hands, even if one of them was mechanical. You found yourself wondering if he used them differently, if he happened to have more dexterity in one set of fingers than the other, how that would feel if those fingers where being put to use inside of your tight - 

“Y/N? have you been listening to a word I've just said” 

Youre whipped out of your thoughts by an all too familiar voice as you vainly attempt to stop your cheeks from turning pink in front of your fellow Padwan’s. You stumble to find you words while simultaneously praying Luke hasn't decided to use his weird mind reading ability in the last 10 minutes of your brain wander or so.

“Sorry sir” is all you can offer, as you truly have not the faintest of ideas of what he was just talking about. You don't miss the way luke stiffens when you use the term of authority toward him, a trick you normally would not exploit however unluckily for him, he caught you completely of guard. He lets out an exaggerated sigh before he returns to pacing,

“You can all return to your activities” He dismisses you all, and you scurry to the door with the others before he adds, 

“not you, Y\N”

ah shit. 

He waits until everyone has exited and the door has shut behind then before he turns to you,

“Whats up with you lately?” his teaching voice is gone, he's back to exasperated friend luke, 

You chortle on a gasp of air as you shoot him an accusatory look, taking a few steps closer to him with your finger outstretched like a weapon, 

“whats up with ‘me’?” you mock, showing your finger towards yourself, before dramatically turning it back on him, moving even closer. 

“What the fuck is up with you Luke? your the one who's being weird with me, don't pull some uno reverse card on the last few days”

You can see the lost puppy dog look in his eyes, as he tries to scramble together some sort of reply, 

“and don't fucking lie to me” you add, closing the space between you so that you're now jabbing him in the chest with your pointer finger. 

“i er, .. i don't know what you're talking about Y/N” god, even the way he says your name is hot, you feel feat rising again in areas it shouldn't but you push it away, your pride not wanting him to get the best of you even if your body would quite happily will it.

“Liar” you spit at him with such venom it surprises even yourself, accompanied with another jab to the chest, this one maybe a little harder than the ones before. 

“ouch” he mumbles, trapping the accusing finger in one palm and rubbing his chest with the other, the dramatics causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Hey, don't do that!” he fires back, you can tell he's trying to sound stern but its not really all to effect when he's still rubbing out the pain from your finger jab.

“do what?” 

“roll your eyes at me! I'm your senior” he puffs his chest, but his eyes still are full of surprise at your sudden outburst.

 “really? are you now luke?” you push him, his hand still wrapped around yours, sending sparks through you arm.

“yes, i am” His voice is breathy, his breath splaying down onto your face as he speaks. You suddenly realise just how close you have managed to get to him, previously too lost in the moment. Your body is all but pressed against his, head tilted down ever so slightly so that he can be on the same eye level as you. There isn't much difference in your height, but right now he feels like he's towering over you. 

Its rare that you see this side of Luke, normally so soft and docile towards you. The tension of this argument and sheer stress that has been building inside of him since your incident is starting to bubble over the surface as he's trapped so close to you now. You can tell he's surveying you, begging you to make the next move though fear he will say something he might regret. 

But maybe that is what you want from him, after all the last happy accident between the two of you has been the image you have gotten off to for the last four nights. 

“prove it then” 

“prove what?” Luke looks confused, suddenly drawing back a little like he'd completely lost the trail of your conversation, head tilted to the side like a bewildered golden retriever, 

“prove that you're my senior” you whisper back, almost not wanting him to hear it. You can tell by the way his light sapphire eyes gaze over he does though, as he watches you pull away and leave the training room, door slamming behind you.

 You slip past two bodies as you rush back to your dorm, your confidence leaking and the implications of what you just challenged beginning to set in. Hans and Leia both follow their gaze after you, the two having witnessed the end portion of yours and Lukes confirmation through the viewing window while waiting for the princess’s twin to finish for lunch. Leia turned to Hans, eyes narrowed,

“you don't think they might actually….” she trails off,

 “bang? oh definitely” Hans answers, still looking at the shaken remnants of Luke Skywalker, who liked like he may have lost all brain function capacity. 

It had been ten hours and forty five minutes since you'd left look in your dust in the training room, not that anyone was counting. And you had concluded two facts while on your bed in that time; 

Luke clearly didn't feel the same way you felt for him; you had left him with basically an invitation to come and take you and he was a no show.

to avoid facing the death by embarrassment you would inevitably suffer you will be spending the remainder of your sorry life inside the confines of this very dorm. it seemed the adult thing to do. 

You muffled a yawn, the sun had long past retired, and from your place on your bed you could just make out the two moons and multiple consolations now decorating the dark blue night.  

Lifting your arms above you head in a stretch, you caught a whiff of sweat and instantly sighed; as much as you had been willing to enjoy never moving from you bed until either starvation or dehydration took you out of your misery, you did happen to stink like garbage. 

You scuffled off the bed and out of your cloak and training pants, that had been left on from hours ago, making a mental note that at least you'd wouldn't have to worry about washing them if you never saw look again. You shimmied out of you knickers and unhooked your bra, throwing them onto the floor to join the rest of your discarded outfit before wandering over to your bathroom and turning on the shower, untangling your hair the best you can while the water warms. 

When you finally stepped under the water you let out a hiss at the feeling of the heat against your skin, basking in the feeling of droplets on your now bare body. You let your hand roam, starting at your chest and finding a path down past your belly button and hips, your skin trembling as your hand drifted over the area between your thighs. 

You let out another hiss, your fingers finding their way between your folds, teasing yourself. You enjoyed the tension loss for all but a moment before flashes of luke pressed against you in the training room earlier flew back into your brain; how hot his skin had been against yours and how his scent had been so strong in his sweat after the hours of sparring multiple Padawan’s. You moaned, half in frustration with yourself for ruining your moment and the other half in want. 

He's even spoiling your shower time now, what a dick. 

You snatched your soap bar from the shelf and scrubbed viciously, not allowing  yourself the enjoyment of a relaxing shower due to your own self betrayal. You ran some through your locks, cursing whichever part of your brain was telling the rest that this would feel a million times better if it was the Jedis hands in place of your own.

Once you had finished mentally punishing yourself, you turned off the water and stood there for a minute contemplating the likelyhood of a bang to the head removing your memory of todays events. 

After all, it would be so simple, a little slip in the shower and poof! Sure, Luke would remember it all, but would he really have the guts to say anything to you about it? surely he wouldn't want to risk your recovery from a very accidental definitely not self inflicted head injury now would he? However, if your preexisting luck was anything to go off, you'd probably forget everything but the sexual tension you had for your master.

Cowardly, you stepped out safely, making sure not to fall, and wrap yourself in a soft towel, leaving your hair to drip down onto your shoulders. You step out of your bathroom, not noticing the shadow that had formed in the corner of your room until they cleared their throat, causing you to just back in sheer terror, going over on your ankle and nearly dropping your towel all together. 

 “Sorry i er..”

“Luke? what the Fuck are you doing” You gasp out, staring blindly into the darkness as the shape shuffles on their feet awkwardly, 

Luke moves closer, the small amount of light left from outside casting across his soft face and mop of hair.

“I didn't mean to scare you” is all he can offer, 

“And what part of you hiding in my room while i showered would not come across as scary?” You shot back, more dazed than angry. You knew what him being here meant, but him hiding in the most light depraved corner of your room while you tried not to masturbate to images in your head of him in your shower was never part of the fantasy.

“i didn't realise you'd be showering this late” He replied, as if that answered the question as to why he was hiding in your room so late at night at all. 

You strained your eyes trying to peer at him, and he seemed to notice, taking another few steps forward into the moonlight. Maker did he look good, under the stars his skin glowed and his hair caught copper and silver highlights that made your knees weak. His soft features were taunt and there was mischief in his eyes, a familiar sight but in the situation at present it made heat grow in your lower stomach. 

Something told you he could see it in your face too, whatever he was looking for, because he kept on moving in on you, like a predator after their pray, You weren't used to seeing Luke all wound up like this, the only other time being the last time he was in your room, but the situation was different this time. There was an open air of lust and anticipation flowing around the two of you, you could only compare it to what the force had felt like the few times you'd managed to master it. It was like something spiritual was drawing you two closer, your body was working on autopilot, moving without your conscious command. He had closed the gap between you by now, but he didn't make a move to touch you or even say any more than he already had, simply staring down at you. When you realised he really wasn't going to be the one to break the silence, you stepped up to the mark for him,

“Why are you here Luke” It wasn't really a question, you knew what you had said to him earlier, the words that you had been replaying over and over in your head ever since. 

“Because..” He trailed off, as if he was trying to find the right way of wording his thoughts, you took this as a chance to push him a little further, no matter how nervous you both were right now, you knew him well enough over the last year to learn how to fire him up, and right now a pent up Luke was exactly what you wanted. You knew you were playing with fire, but you doubted if he did react, it would be in a way you wouldn't enjoy. Quite frankly, the boy could pick you up and throw you out of your own bedroom window right now and you'd still probably be horny enough to find some form of sexual gratification from the experience  

You saw his brow raise and his eyes flash before you heard his word, 

“To show you what i want from you, Padawan” He smirked around the term, causing you to let out a small, nervous laugh. 

“And what is it that you want from me, Master?” You hardly finish the word before his arms have snaked around your back and you're being lifted from the ground, letting out a squeal of surprise, your legs wrapping around his waist for support. He plopped you down on the bed, still situated between your legs, pulling a hand out on either side of your shoulders so that he could stare down at you. 

“Thats not an answer luke” you quipped back, quite impressed at your ability to still functionally produce coherent words. He leaned down, his lips on your ear, 

“oh, i think it is, Y/N” he breathed, letting out a boyish laugh before he could stop himself, almost giving you the chance to shoot another sarcastic comment his way, but as his lips touch the skin below your ear and start to plant wet hungry kisses there, the words dissolve into a soft moan. 

His head shoots up and you see the look of concern in his eyes, confirming that maybe Luke isn't the most sexually experienced person on this planet. The sweetness in his reaction makes you weak, but you have lost the ability to reply with words, so you communicate through grabbing either side of his soft face and planting a hungry kiss on his lips. 

For a moment you catch him off guard, frozen under you lips, and you worry that maybe you have somehow misread this situation entirely. Maybe he was just fooling around with you, maybe he wants serious?

But all that concern is dissipated by his lips finding rhythm against yours, equally as passionately. Okay, so maybe he isn't the best at reading you tell tale lust signs, but oh maker can he kiss. The movement of his lips alone is enough to cause severer wetness to pool between your thighs, your spin raising off the bed as far as it can to push your body against his clothed one. You're amazed your towel has lasted this long, especially after the near miss before, but now you find yourself wishing it hadn’t. Conscious of Luke being as respectful as it is, you also know that if you wait for him to remove it you may have melted away before he sees you; so you move a hand from his face to the tie at the top of your chest and pull it open, the towel cascading around you and leaving your front bare.

You had a feeling that Luke was a little too caught up in the moment to realise, so you gently slid you hand around one of his, waiting until he shifted his weight onto his other arm before you lowered it to you chest, letting it cup your breast. Lukes eyes shot open as he let out a gasp, lips opening just enough for you to tease your tongue against his bottom lip. His hand moved instinctively to squeeze, his thumb brushing gently over your already erect nipple. You shivered and moaned in response, but this time Luke knew this meant he was doing something right, so he repeated his actions.

 You had to give it to him, he was a fast learner.

 Your hand moved in an attempt to untie his cloak, but the action was proving difficult while Lukes mouth was on yours and his hand roaming your body, causing you to become inpatient.

“Take it off” You managed to get out between kisses, 

You expected him to challenge your direct order, but he merely sat up and untied the cloak, slipping it from himself and removing his undershirt too. You watched as the moonlight danced upon his skin, his toned chest, years of Jedi training had certainly served his body well. This wasn't the first time you'd seen Luke topless, but it was the first time you hadn't had to hide the fact that you were really looking. Realising how long you had been staring you met his eyes again,  half expected to see him smirking down at you, but he was just as lost in your body as you were his;

“You - You're Beautiful” He stumbled under his breath, you weren't sure if you were even supposed to hear it, but it made your cheeks burn either way. Before he could say anything else, you lifted your back up from the bed and pushed your body flush against his, planting kisses on his neck, eliciting a moan from the Jedi in response. You left little purple marks peppered in the wake of you lips, something you knew he may not be too pleased about in the morning, but you figured you might as well get away with as much claiming of him you could in the heat of the moment. He quivered underneath you, from this angle you could feel his ever-growing, now comically familiar, budge, his body naturally thrusting into yours, causing a beautiful friction against your heat. Luke was lost in the pleasure, and has seemingly temporarily forgotten he had hands, so you grabbed ahold of on and pushed it down to the bottom of your stomach, lifting your core from his so he could access it. Luke met your eyes again, this time you could tell him was clueless, his cheeks glowing a deep scarlet.

“I erm” You didn't let him finish, you'd figured Luke was a little inexperienced but not to this level. The massive reverse in roles made you feel a little powerful; suddenly you were the experienced one and he was your understudy. Maybe he should be calling you master? You made a mental note to remember that fact for tomorrow when the joke might go down better than in the middle of sex, 

“Just rub around here” you told him, while guiding his hand to your bundle of nerves, making sure to show him the correct pressure you wanted, and then your lips were back on his. 

Luke was slow at first, and it took him a while to actually bring his fingertips between your folds, however once he did he seemed to find the exact spot you wanted him in. Whether it the pressure of his cool finger tips or the fact that he had been unintentionally teasing the area so long, you released a borderline animalistic high pitched moan, lurching forward and wrapping your arms around his neck. You felt him chuckle against your neck, repeating his action and causing you to squeal again, 

“well then” He murmured into your ear, a cheeky air to his voice, causing you to groan knowingly - you'd certainly be mocked for that vicious reaction afterwards. 

You wanted to smack the smirk from his lips, but instead you lowered one of you hands between your bodies, resting it on Lukes now fully erect but concealed member. He paused momentarily, before letting out his own moan as you started to palm him through his loose trousers. There was dampness under your hand, a mix of your slick heat and his own leaking member, but it only spurred you on more. 

Lukes actions had become increasingly sloppy, his hand slipping lower and lower until one of his digits unintentionally bumped against your opening, causing you to jump in his arm and whine against his ear. Luke took this as a sign to dip the tip of the finger into you, testing to make sure this wasn't the wrong move, when you hum in response he slips the rest in up to his knuckle. The action makes you tremble, and you're panting and whispering jibberish into his ear. He removes the finger and then puts in back in slowly, still unsure. Its torture, literal torture. You start moving your lower body against his hand, riding it. You're not sure what makes him do it, maybe just a reflex, but luke bends his finger ever so slightly just at the right point of entrance and hits your inner sweet spot, causing your tummy to do a flip and move wetness to peek from your core. His other hand finds your clit again, without you having to instruct him this time, and the mix of both actions causes your eyes to roll back into your head and you to let out a quieter but still prominent squeal. Luke laughs again, 

“Calm down little one” He teases, confidence dripping from his ever word. 

Maybe its the temptation to remove his smugness again, or maybe you're just turned on so much by this cocky side of Skywalker you've previously not seen enough of, but you instantly reach your hand under his waistband and inside his boxers, finding his length and stroking it directly with your hand. 

He instantly spasms under you, almost bucking you off him, and you thank god you're near enough to your headboard to catch yourself before he does. 

“sorry” he mumbles, steadying you with one hand, his other still inside your heat. 

“Shhh, its okay” you reassure him, before gently removing his hand from your heat and pushing him back a bit, causing him to look at you with confusion. 

“I just want to see it properly” You tell him, working on his waistband again. 

“You already have” he groans, clearly getting some secondhand embarrassment  from his previous accidental boner experience, but lowering his pants and boxers none the less, his manhood springing out. 

he hisses slightly as it meets the cool air of the room, his head rolling back ever so slightly - and you don't think you've ever seen a sight so sinful and glorious in your life. 

You lower your head down towards it but he catches your forehead against his palm before you can meet your goal, 

“erm? excuse me”

“youre excused ?” you reply, looking up at him from your position almost at his manhood, 

“what are you doing?”

“Oh luke i think you know fine well” You dip your tongue out between your lips, and it just reaches the very tip of his head, catching a little of what he's leaked there. Luke lets out a throaty moan in response, and you take advantage of his distraction, moving out from under his hand and licking his full length, from the base to the very tip. The sounds Luke makes in response are enough to almost make you tip over your own edge, but you try to suppress your own want long enough to put him all in your mouth and do a slow bob. He bucks into your mouth, unintentionally hitting the back of your throat and causing you to almost gag, the process causing him to mutter profanities that you never thought you would hear from the golden boy of the rebellion. 

You only get in a few slow bobs before his hand returns to your head, but this time he doesn't push you away, so you continue to move your mouth around his length which his fingers get lost in your hair. You cant fit all of him in your mouth comfortably, and your mind starts to wonder to what is inevitably the next step, your heat reminding you of just how much you want him down there, fucking you senseless into your own bed while the rest of the ship sleeps (hopefully)  unaware of your actions. 

Suddenly Luke is tugging your hair, pulling you up from him so that he slips out of your mouth with an audible plop. You take a chance to actually look at him, surprised at just how unravelled he looks, sweat causing his locks to stick to his forehead in erratic patterns, his eyes the darkest shade of blue you've ever seen. 

“whats wrong?” You ask him, your voice a little more course than you expected, 

“ Im going to come” He tells you truthfully, embarrassment visible on his face. You want to giggle at his innocent response, but you also don't want him to feel even worse than he clearly does, so you suppress it and keep your eyes on his, 

“Well come then “ you answer obliviously, still not truly understanding the route of his embarrassment. Sure, this wasn't exactly the worlds longest performance, but you'd seen much worse from people with much more experience - and at least Luke had actually managed to get you wet. 

I want to but “ He stopped, turning away in frustration and drifting off at the very last minute, you waited for him to finish, reaching for his hand and rubbing your thumb against it, attempting to reassure him enough to let you continue. 

“I want to fuck you” The way he says the words, like he knows he shouldn’t, makes it the most sinful line you've ever heard from anyone. You feel like he's just hit you with a sledgehammer, your core pulsing in response. 

He still wont look at you, so you simply lean back into  your bed, opening your legs, all prior shyness being pushed to the back of your mind by the raging lust that his words had fuelled. 

“Fuck me then” You instruct him, and oh boy, he does. 

head whipping around, Luke crawls back over you, eyes burning holes into yours as he meets your face, you bend your knees and grab his member with your hand, making sure to run it along your slit, gathering your wetness in its wake, before placing the tip at its rightful home, against your opening. Luke looks like he might burst, but you place a gentle kiss on his lips before guiding your body up to meet him, his tip entering you and stretching you out. You gasp at the feeling, Luke taking this as his cue to slow insert the rest of himself, filling you fully and causing you to clench around him on impact. Both of you are moaning now, maybe a little louder than appropriate for such a communal ship, but neither of you could find it in yourselves to care at this moment in time.

Luke was big, for sure. You remembered back to just before and internally cursed yourself for not making sure he used more than one finger one you; you were definitely no virgin but it had been a while since you'd been with anyone, and nobody had ever come near the size you were dealing with now. As luke started moving, the sensation of slight discomfort faded, and you were being overrides with a new force. You could feel every inch of him inside you, and partnered with his breathy moans of your name and his increasingly wild expressions, you could feel the coil of lust inside you beginning to build again. Maker, this was so good - surely things this good shouldn't be allowed for sinners like you. 

Lukes movements got sloppy all to fast, you could tell he was fighting his high as long as possible

You were overpowered with the need to give him release, slipping one hand into his hair and the other to his cheek, 

“Come for me, master” Your words caused his eyes to flash open, and his whole body to convulse, he didn't take much telling; you felt warmth leak into you as Luke let out a final throaty moan and his head flopped into your chest. 

You lay there for a while, stroking the stray locks of hair from his face as both your breathing returned to a somewhat normal level, him still inside you as you started to leak out over the covers. You'd probably be bothered about that tomorrow, like the clothes unwashed on the floor and the sound complaints from the people either side of your dorm. But for now, nothing could bother you. 

As you both drifted off into a peaceful sleep, Luke felt for the first time in years that nothing outside of this ship was worth any of his mind, he had all he needed here in this bed with you.

[b0rista]

Oh my god, oh my GOD you gave me the most ridiculous brainrot with those hcs of the Titan trio in a gloomy city, I literally haven’t stopped thinking about it all day. If you’re still open for requests, could you maybe write something similar, but with the reader having a crush on bertholdt, or being his s/o in that au? Thank you so much if you do, I hope you have a lovely day! 🥰

— ❝︎ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍! 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐔 𝐏𝐓. 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ; 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐓. ·˚ ༘

♡︎ : PLEASE I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKED ITDK I LOWKEY FELL OFF AT THE END BUT TYTY 🥺 and tbh i was THIS CLOSE 🤏 to turning it into a bert x reader post so you like read my mind PLSKD. and i hope you have a lovely day, too!! 🥺

reader x bertholdt version of this! i suggest reading those headcanons first because i absolutely refuSe to attempt to explain the atmosphere again because i'm illiterate gegsgdgh

if you'd like a music recommendation for when you're reading this, literally just play the band cigarettes after sex and you'll get the vibe i'm tryna put off 😭

also this is long and dragged out and im SORRYYFHF

because there isn't a whole lot to change (other than bertholt's feelings for annie; he's older, so in this version, he's over it entirely), everything will be the same as it was in the first part. the four of you, all living in extremely gloomy territory. you're only close with eachother, and it's the sour scent of cigarette smoke and green tea keeping the lot of you sane. that, and the rain. the sweet, senseless rain.

as before, bertholdt's in his twenties, and currently working as a philosophy professor's assistant. his workplace is at a local community college, where you and the other two occasionally visit.

the same goes for the others, as well— while annie's a policy analyst, reiner's taken up certified training. again, not much is different from the first version, if anything at all. what you do for a living is entirely up to you. as for lodging, you're still sharing an apartment with annie, and the boys still visit far too often than remotely necessary. for such a big city, the four of you don't really get out much. really, if you ever do, it's with eachother. you're a very, very tight-knit posse.

back during your college campus days, you're liking toward bertholdt was merely platonic. after all, not only were the bunch of you focused on your academia, but he was always the quieter sort. back then, you were more close to reiner, and even annie, who's worse. still, that didn't mean the two of you didn't interact quite a bit. whenever you were struggling with your studies, he was always offering to help. if we're being entirely honest, there were quite a few exams that you'd have likely failed if it weren't for his assistance.

now, the two of you have grown far more comfortable with one another. of course, college was years ago. as time went on, you'd managed to get closer to him, and vice versa. all four of you are close, despite you having turned their trio into a quartet only a mere matter of years ago. somehow, it felt as they were waiting for you to join them.

if you read the part before this one, you read the instance of which you were hassled on the subway, ultimately leading to an actual buddy system in your favor. well, your friends claim that it's in your favor, anyway. really, it feels like babysitting. they don't like whenever you board the underground train by yourself, and you've been caught trying once or twice. the first time, it was by reiner, who nearly bit your head off. the second time, it was by bert, who was mildly displeased.

instead of scolding you, though, he only boarded the same train as you, offering to see you home. unlike reiner, bertholdt isn't aggressive, especially towards you. if anything, he's protective. he doesn't like it whenever the lingering eyes of a stranger land on you, and he sure as hell isn't fond of the thought of another man taking you home. if you're the more flamboyant sort, and you're unafraid of a fling or two, he'll be quietly bitter. of course, he'll never tell you what to do with your life. he'll tell you to be careful with who you trust, and to stay safe. he's only one call away.

back to your feelings, though. currently, your quiet crush on bertholdt is rising with every given day. it's a struggle, bearing feelings for a man so closed off. nevertheless, it's uncontrollable. fortunately, your pining towards him is more subtle than it is obvious, so he's yet to actually realize. that, and he's fucking oblivious. annie and reiner, however? they're as observing as they come. they know about it, and while they don't tease you, they do root for you. reiner more than annie, because annie's horrible at that sort of thing. still, 10/10 friends.

as of right now, you have three pieces of bertholdt's clothing in your closet. a sweater, a scarf, and a t-shirt. he hasn't asked for any of them back, so they're practically yours. they were all loaned to you on seperate occasions. and although he'll never tell you, there's an actual reason for why he hasn't asked for them back— one time, while you were wearing his sweatshirt, he caught a brief glimpse of you from afar: you were bringing the collar to your nose, inhaling the bittersweet scent of his cologne, his scent. you looked so pleased, and it fucking melted him. he can't bring himself to take anything back that he gives to you.

cuddling. all of you cuddle, though it's a bit subtle. whenever the four of you gather at you and annie's apartment after a rough week, you all have this moment where for hours, you simply sit in silence, watching the rain pour atop the cityscape from the other side of the balcony. the television is lowly drumming in the background, and glasses of tea mixed with pure whiskey sit ontop of the coffee table behind you. you do this as a group, and it's weirdly cinematic. when annie's head isn't rested against your shoulder, you like to press the bottom of your chin onto the top of bertholdt's head. from behind him, your arms lazily wrap around his shoulders, and he sinks into you. this is such a weekly occurrence, neither of you even think much of it. after all, reiner and annie are falling asleep ontop of one another beside you. when they do, you and bertholdt often have a quiet conversation. it's sweet, and exactly what the two of you need.

one time, he took you to an ice sculpture festival. it was the midst of winter, and there was one showcasing in the city. of course, the other two were invited. however, they both claimed to be "busy," when really, they went out to see a movie so the two of you could actually do something together. that being said, you went as a pair.

it was actually fun, to your surprise. not because of the sculptures themselves, but because of how much bertholdt actually liked them. for being so closed off, he showed quite a bit of interest in them. y'all know he's artsy. you couldn't help yourself— as he was silently gawking over a ten foot sculpture of a roaring tiger, you called him cute.

of course, knowing him, he immediately started to flush. due to the weather, he easily pinned the redness of his cheeks to the cold. you, of course, were smarter than that.

speaking of the cold, you were freezing. while you made sure to bundle up, you didn't think to bring a scarf. the blisteringly cold wind tickled at your exposed neck, earning itself a shiver from you. you may not have thought much of it, but he certainly did.

from directly behind you, you felt a hand move to hold your hair out of the way as a large, burgundy fabric coiled itself around your neck, immediately encasing you in its warmth. glancing both behind and above you, you saw bertholdt, snugly tying his own scarf around you. from the looks of it, he thought nothing of it. you were cold, and he wanted to fix that. still, the brief collision of his palm against your bare skin was enough to make you melt.

cigarette sharing. this is just,, a thing. the entire group does it, you and bertholdt especially. there have been plenty of instances where you've snatched a dart from in between his lips, bringing it to your own. vice versa, as well— he's a bit more gentle with it, though. when he reaches for your lips, he's careful, and his knuckles ever so slightly graze against your face as he tugs the cigarette from out of your mouth. to this day, you debate surprising him with a quick kiss to his hand.

speaking of kisses, several have been placed on your forehead. despite not being an item, after a particular rough moment, bertholdt's incredibly tender whilst comforting you. by your shoulders, you'll be pulled into an embrace, where he'll bury his nose within your hair while quietly reassuring you. using your chin to raise your face, he'll place a soft, sweet kiss on the center of your forehead. it's short, but effective.

this man is your personal umbrella. if it's pouring rain—which it usually is— and you're without coverage, he is your coverage. he'll either pull off his jacket and use it to cover your head from the rain, or you'll be sheepishly pulled into his chest, where he sacrifices his back to keep you dry.

if the two of you ever exchanged your feelings toward one another, it would be through a dramatic, rainy confession.

you likely went first, blurting out what you felt through a flash of frustrated impulse; it was pouring down rain, and somehow, the two of you had gotten into a conflict in the parking lot of bertholdt's apartment complex. now, you were shouting at him, "perhaps it's because i love you, you goddamn imbecile!"

and he just,, stared. you stared in horror, he stared in utter shock. now, the two of you were drenched, and you were absolutely mortified.

after a couple of moments, you would falter. digging into the left pocket of your coat, you would pull out your pack of marlboros— despite the rain, you moved to get a smoke. "fuck this," you said, "i need a cigarette."

however, right as you flipped the top of the pack open, it would be abruptly smacked out of your grasp, rendering you speechless. and before you could even regain those words of yours back, they were quickly halted by the lips of another, shutting you up for good.

with multiple year's worth of pent up emotions, you and bertholdt kiss beneath the weeping sky.

[fuckinsteverogers]

The Art of Solutions

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Rating: MA? But next part will be 18+++++

Warnings: Lots of emotions, Lots of crying, Kissing

Synopsis: A Seductress is what they call you, capable of seducing any person into submission. Joining the Avengers as a viable asset, you come to realise that you might not be as capable of seduction as you once thought.

Author’s Note: I’m really sorry this took so long, but here is the ‘technically’ final part of the series. I am going to do an additional one with a follow up of the beginning of their relationship, but seriously don’t hold out hope for it to be up anytime soon. Thanks for the support, guys. Enjoy!

10 Months Earlier

You pass him in the hall. That’s where it starts. A glance here and a glance there, you take the transformation slow, introducing a smile, then a touch, then a laugh, but it doesn’t seem to be taking the same effect as it has everyone else. Everyone else thinks you’re charming. You can see it.

Lying in your bed on a sunday morning, one of the first sundays with the Avengers; you think about him, his smile, his laugh, the scruff on his chin at the end of the day. It all seems so complicated, trying to win him over, but it’s an ache deep in your chest, something you never thought you’d experience. But despite the feeling overwhelming you, you get up and go about your day; briefly thinking about him in everything you do.

“Push through it, Y/N,” Sam encourages, but the pain is unbearable. How can you push through it when it hurts as much as it does? Your chest burns, but somehow you manage.

“Fuck,” You curse, adjusting your hands and pulling yourself up again. You cast your eyes to your side where Natasha is pulling herself up effortlessly, chin hitting above the bars. Watching her do it, it seems impossible to do it as she does, like an art. It hurts like hell. You both are well above a hundred at this point, completely lost count of the amount of pull-ups you’d both done. You almost give up, almost, but then he enters the gym, in loose basketball shorts and a tight shirt, and it’s like a shot of adrenaline runs through your body.

“Yes!” Sam claps as you pull yourself up again, faster this time, pushing through the plateau that has hit you. Your muscles are on fire, but Natasha is winning and you can’t let her win; not in front of him.

He stands and watches, eyes racking over the both of you. Sweat begins to drip down your face, down your neck, in between your breasts as Bucky calls two hundred for Natasha and then you three pull-ups after, and that’s all the incentive you need to pick up your pace.

“Give up now, Romanov,” You boast, casting your eyes to her as you pull yourself up again and again and again. 

“Over my dead body, Y/L/N,” She replies, a smirk making its way onto her lips. She pulls herself up again and you catch what looks like a slight hint of pain with the raise of her upper lip. Hope, is what you see.

The boys watch from below as the fatigue hits you both, Natasha’s body catching up with yours fast, and within seconds, it’s like slow motion, both of you lose grip on the bars; the sweat soaking your body slipping through your fingers and dislodging your grip.

You hit the floor a second after Natasha and directly on your shoulder, groaning sharply at the angle.

“Shit,” You curse out, rolling onto your back, chest heaving dramatically attempting to intake as much air as possible.

You don’t notice anyone move until Bucky is leaning over you, a smile of pity on his face. You screw your eyes shut and curse under your breath, because fuck, you’ve lost.

“Sorry, doll,” Bucky says. The fact that you’ve lost doesn’t bother you so much, losing to Natasha Romanov is a feat in itself, but to lose to her in front of him is heartbreaking.

Bucky helps you off the ground, supporting your weight with his arm tucked around your waist. Everything is sore and you just want to go have a long bath in epsom salts.

You watch as he helps Natasha off the floor and claps her on the back with a proud smile spread across his lips. You had two pull-ups between you, yet when he meets your eyes, moving towards you and Bucky; he addresses Bucky with the same warm smile and the moment he looks at you, the smile drops and he narrows his eyes. The look scares you.

“I hope you’re going to be training after that performance,” are his first words to you in a week. They make your jaw drop and your chest burn in a different way. You feel Bucky draw his eyes down to you, slumped against him the same way Natasha is slumped against Sam.

You lost by two.

Maybe it’s just him encouraging you to be better. It has to be.

You throw your shoulders back, straightening your posture despite the pain, looking up at your captain with wide eyes. 

“Not today, but I plan on kicking all your asses by the end of the month,” You reply sullenly, throwing Bucky a look of annoyance before you slide out of his grasp and make a run for it. Distancing yourself from the comment and planning a serious implementation of your plan.

He is so going to regret that. You’ll have him before the year ends.

5 Months Earlier

“Y/N, get your head out of the clouds,” He yells to you as you dodge a fist, ducking underneath the terrorists arms to shove him towards Bucky who catapults his metal fist into the man’s face. You hear the damage before you see it. 

“Unwad your panties, Cap,” Tony says casually over the intercom, flying overhead. You smile at the comment and throw your entire weight at the back of an assailant, climbing to wrap your legs around his throat like Natasha had taught you. You get him to the floor unconscious within a matter of seconds.

“Good one,” Buck praises, holding a hand up for a high five which you return, grinning up at him.

The mission is simple. In and out. Grab what you need and don’t cause too much trouble. It’s proving to be as such as Natasha comes out of the building holding up a USB, containing every piece of information you need.

“Back to the jet everyone,” Cap shouts over the intercom, which would be fine, but across the field where Cap stands near the quinjet, you and Bucky are stuck in a huddle of five terrorists trying to disarm you.

Bucky has his handsful with two and you manage to knock another out, but the two remaining prove a challenge. 

“Hurry up!” Cap yells again and it takes all your self-control to not berate him over the intercom. 

“I’ll show you hurry up,” You hiss out, unholstering your gun and pistol whipping one of them hard enough to knock him unconscious. 

The second terrorist stops and stares at you for a moment before he ducks behind a building and runs for it. You look at Bucky who has the last one in a choke hold and just shrug at him. 

You wait for him as he finishes and he leads the both of you back to the jet. Feeling mildly accomplished, your eyes find Steve who is standing in front of the doors, watching you both walk up.

It’s a weird moment, because all of a sudden Steve’s face changes. From the sullen, stern Captain to Steve, but a Steve you’ve never seen directed at you. His features are written with fear.

“Y/N!” He yells and tears off the platform to run towards you. 

You don’t even have time to turn around before you hear it, the click of the safety turning off and then the bullet leaving the chamber. The impact sends you flying. 

You miss Bucky by an inch, who has stopped and stared at Steve, and crash a metre away onto the hard dirt. Your head smacks the ground, then the rest of your body. You know you’ve been hit, that’s obvious. The pain is excruciating, like a hole has been blown out of your back. Then the spots appear, your vision blurring suddenly. 

The last thing you see is Steve, ripping you up from the floor into his arms and carrying you towards the jet. You black out as he starts to speak, you wish you heard what he said, because you’re sure it was glorious.

If you had died then, you are so sure it would have been a happy death, flashes of Steve behind your eyes, the feeling of his hands desperately grasping the body of his team member… because that’s all you are to him, if that.

You thought you had died there for a second, darkness surrounding you like a virus. Like a nightmare, everything swallowing you until there is nothing.

Then it’s light again, almost too soon, bright lights everywhere.

You feel cold. Way too cold. There is pain all across your back, a burning, constant pain that feels like fire ants chewing on your skin. You want to roll over and rip the skin off, but when you try to move your limbs, pain bursts through every part of your body.

“Don’t move,” Tony says, his voice ringing loud and true in your ears. The sound of his voice grounds the panic spreading through your chest and when you open your eyes, he is there, stood beside you in bloodied clothes and red rimmed eyes.

Your eyes lift from him and search the room… for any remanence of him, but there isn’t any. The dread sinks deep within your stomach; you were truly stupid for thinking that someone who hadn’t paid you the light of day since you got here would be waiting patiently for you to wake after you got your back blown to smithereens.

“He couldn’t be here,” Tony says, sullenly. He knows who you’re thinking about, of course he does. He was the first person you confide in when you realised that your feelings for Steve were more than just infatuation. “Dr Cho is on her way.”

You lay back and close your eyes, focusing on the pain and how it grounds you, makes you feel normal and human for the first time in a long time.

You used to be so different, so independent. Not hung up on some guy who glowers when you enter a room, but surely you can fix this. You can make any man drop to their knees for you at a moments notice and Captain Rogers is no exception.

You’d sprouted in high school. Second year in, your mum took you out of school and moved both of you halfway across the world. You remember why. That was the year your dad turned his anger from your mother onto you, you knew that she’d convinced herself that she could handle the pain but the moment the evil, gutless father you were cursed with turned his gaze to you, she refused to watch you suffer.

Your father hit you three times before your mother pulled you out of school one day with the car full of everything the both of you owned and drove as far as possible before getting on the first plane to the first place she could think of; New York, heavily populated and hard to navigate.

Thinking back on it, your mother was the strongest woman you’d ever known. She never approved of the attention you drew, with the short skirts and revealing tops, hanging out with characteristic ‘bad boys’ and teasing them beyond belief. 

She’d said to you, “Y/N, one day, one of those boys are going to show their true colours and get very sick of waiting around for you. They’ll take what they want with no consideration for your feelings, just as your father did to me.”

It hurt when she’d said it, the realisation of your actions. So you’d done what you needed to, found someone who could teach you how to defend yourself. Turns out Natasha Romanov made a surprisingly good teacher and allie. 

After the accident, after Dr Cho did a fantastic job at repairing the damaged tissue on your back; you made a decision.

No more tentative moves. You were going to lay everything on the table for him to take or leave. You remained persistent, motivated in that his resolve was fake and not him actually hating you.

That lasted all of ten seconds before Steve ripped your heart from your chest and crushed it beneath his polished boots. 

You made a lot of wrong turns, gave yourself to him in ways that he didn’t want, but nothing hurt more than seeing him standing in the doorway of that hospital wing, staring at Tony and you, asking for more than you could give him.

“Can we talk?” Steve asks you, grazing his blue eyes from you to Tony.

“You knew he was there, didn’t you?” You ask, turning to look back at your obscene father-like counterpart. A wide grin spreads across Tony’s lips and he shrugs, only to cry out in pain from the movement of his shoulder.

“Maybe,” He says with a painful smile. 

You turn to look at Steve again, regarding him with a pointed stare, watching him as he looks back at you. You assess him, your eyes travelling across his body; tension, nervousness, guilt, sadness. 

“Please?” He asks finally, gaining your attention from staring at his hand placement. You huff out a breath, nerves filling your chest.

Nothing bad could come from talking, you conclude rising from your chair.

“Well, say what you wanted to say,” You tell him impatiently, shutting the door to the medical bay. Steve leans back against the wall, his hands lacing together in front of him, a sign of nerves.

“What you said in there…” He begins, eyes drawing up to yours. You cross your arms over your chest, fisting the ends of your sweater in your hands. You notice there is blood on one of your sleeves, it doesn’t distract you from Steve.

“If you’re going to tell me the usual shit-” You interrupt him, sullen beyond words. “The ‘I didn’t know you were serious’, the ‘I thought I was another one of your conquests’, the ‘but I still can’t return your feelings.’ Then get it over with, I have things to do.”

Steve’s eyes widen at your words, your anger, while it doesn’t surprise him; it stings.

“I… I was stupid, Y/N. I’m not used to dating, but in modern terms, it was rattling,” He tells you, eyes glistening under the harsh lights of the medical bay hallway. His hands clenching and unclenching. He’s uncomfortable, nervous; but not readily looking for an exit strategy. He wants to be here, despite the stress it’s bringing him. Which evidently, also indicates honesty. “After Sharon, I wasn’t ready to let anyone in, let alone someone I thought was using me as a conquest, so I was cruel.”

Steve shifts, pushing himself from the wall and moves towards you. You don’t shift, not intimidated by his large frame or his sullen features. He stops in front of you, leaving a few inches between you and his body, but it’s close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from his form.

“For that, Y/N, for my cruelty towards you; I’m so sorry,” He says, you meet his eyes and see all the sadness that lies behind them. The apology is genuine, and that’s what makes you open yourself up again, uncrossing your arms and shoving your hands into your pockets instead, still unwilling to give yourself over completely to the emotions of this situation.

“Don’t get me wrong, Steve; in a way you were a conquest, some unattainable person that I convinced myself I could get, but it wasn’t a mission. It wasn’t me trying to tear someone down, it was me trying to get to know a man I had been infatuated with since the moment I saw him,” You state, averting your gaze to the floor, scared to see what his reaction is to your words. “I’d run through all the scenarios, the strategies, tested them all. I made myself visibly beautiful, attainable, desirable, charismatic, funny, smart; convinced myself that it was me that was the wrong piece in the puzzle, but I received cold after cold remark, little to no facial expressions, and not even a hint of kindness in your eyes.”

You shake your head, stopping for a moment to catch your breath; feeling stupid. You take a breath and lift your eyes from the tiled floor up to his eyes, which are filled with such sadness that it makes you almost tear up.

“I accept your apology, but I need you to know that I’m done. I’ve been killing myself over you for too long and I can’t work with you and do that anymore,” You say, clenching your fists inside of your pockets. Steve looks completely floored, he opens his mouth to rebuttal, but you can’t handle the conversation anymore. “I’ll see you around, Steve.”

And you leave, turning on your heels and exiting the situation, leaving Steve Rogers behind you.

It was a breath of fresh air to be able to leave it behind... leave him behind.

It took you two seconds to decide to pack a bag, filling it with clothing and some books of choice. Leaving behind the sparkles of the elaborate gowns and making your way towards the parking garage, which seemed like a good idea until you stop to grab the keys to the car and are faced with half the team including the man you’d basically told to go fuck himself.

“Where are you going?” Natasha asks, stepping out from the group of recovering superheroes. She runs her demanding eyes across you and takes a few steps towards you.

“Nowhere… I,” You stop and look at them, including Steve who has his mouth open like he wants to say something, but you know he won’t, not after everything you said. “My mum lives a few states over. I’m going to go see her.”

“You have a mum?” Bucky is the next to chime in, swivelling in his seat to stare you down. You nod and avert your eyes to the floor; a part of being who you are, transforming yourself into anyone means you have to distance yourself from the person you really are, including the person you are with your mum.

“She lives near the ocean. I haven’t seen her in a while,” You tell them, moving to grab the car keys. The moment you grasp them, you beeline for the elevator.

“Why now?” Natasha asks, standing tall in the doorway. Her brows are scrunched together and she looks unhappy, which is not a normal thing for Natasha, to show any emotion at all. The more you look at her, the guiltier you feel, so you turn away, pressing the elevator button.

The moment you’re in and have pressed the garage button, you look at her again. A flood of emotion fills you, the guilt of leaving them behind. 

“Just tell Tony that I’m sorry,” You finish as the doors slide shut.

You drop your head and begin to cry, the emotions you’d held in from the talk with Steve overflowing your body. You love him, there is no denying it and it hurts to run, but you are doing what you were taught; if you can’t dig your way out, run. 

Your mum would know what to do. That’s the only thing you knew for certain besides your love for Steve.

You step on the accelerator the moment the car is clear of the garage door, avoiding looking in the rearview mirror because you know someone has run after you, and the guilt that soaks you is too much to bear for you to meet the eyes of whoever has run after you.

Instead, you flick on the radio and step on the gas, keeping your eyes away from the mirrors so as to not see the Avengers logo dim in the background. 

The drive takes hours. You don’t stop even when you get thirsty, just the pure need to hug your mother is suppressing every feeling within you, and when you pull past the last corner and drive past the houses you’d walked past a million times in your life, the tears begin to well in your eyes.

With tears streaking your cheeks, you throw the car into park and beeline for the front door of your mother’s home. You can hear the music from the car, a soft lull of the record player which had encased your final high school years.

“Mum,” You sob out as you open the front door, leaning in and crossing the threshold. Shutting the door behind you, you step further into the house, crossing through the living room, into the kitchen; still no sign of her and you begin to panic in your fragile state. 

She’s been here recently because the record is still playing and the kettle is bellowing steam. You go through the bedrooms and finally, towards the backyard when you see her, sitting in a chair, a cup of tea clasped in her hands. She has her head thrown back in a laugh and looking completely different from the mum you saw three months ago. 

The man sitting beside her is handsome; with grey hair and a slightly greyer beard, and he looks at her like she lights the stars in the sky. This isn’t new and it makes the guilt sink to your stomach. Not only have you been fucking up your work life, but you haven’t taken even close to enough time to realise that your mother is in-love. It makes your stomach sink and suddenly you feel sick.

It doesn’t occur to you that you’re hysterical until the man looks past your mother and stares directly into your eyes, the ones that are burning straight into him. He speaks and your mother throws her head around to look directly at you, and you can’t contain yourself anymore; tears, snot and all. 

“Baby, Y/N, what’s going on?” She says as she throws the door open and takes you in her arms. The arms that have cured so many problems, ailed so such sickness, loved you beyond everything, “Talk to me.”

“I…” You begin beneath the sobs, burying your face in her shirt, holding onto her like you’ve never done before, bringing yourself back to Earth. “I love him.”

“You love who?” Your mum asks, dragging you to the couch to sit. You draw your face up to look at her in shock and realise that you didn’t tell her how you felt about Steve, You look at her as the man moves around the living room to stand in the doorway, she moves her eyes from yours to steal a glance at him and her eyes are back on you just as fast as she looked away.

“Cap. Steve. I tried stopping it, but I couldn’t,” You tell her, open and free, opening your heart to admit it to the world for the first time.

“Sweetheart, love isn’t something you can stop. It’s an unstoppable force, it overwhelms you before you even realise what’s going on,” She says, taking your hand in hers. You stare at her, eyes red rimmed and heart aching for the man you left behind. “Have you told him this?”

“Not in so many words, but yes.” It’s not a hundred percent true, you haven’t said those words, but you know he knows… right? You glance at her, then at the man who is staring wide eyed at the two of you. “I couldn’t face the team anymore. I can’t face him.”

You get up out of the seat and pace, blood still on your sleeve and it’s probably freaking the hell out of this man who your mum has definitely not told that her daughter is a member of the Avengers.

“It’s your work, honey. Your family,” Your mum stands with you, pulling your pacing to a stop to stare you in the eyes. You shake your head so hard that strands of hair dislodge from your ponytail.

“You’re my family!” You tell her, exasperated. “And I have been so stupid that I didn’t realise you were dating.”

Your mother’s eyes widen dangerously and her eyes drag from you to the man and back to you. You know she’s ready to deny it before her mouth even opens.

“We aren’t… I mean, we haven’t,” She begins and you can’t help the laugh that comes from your chest, stepping back from her grip.

“Mum, please. You know who I am, what I do, what I can do,” You can see the pure need to deny it in her eyes, she’s so scared of what you’ll think about this, than admit how she feels about him… She and you aren’t so far apart. “I could tell the moment I saw you and him together.”

“Honey…” She says slowly, reaching for you, but you step back. She wants to comfort you, like you’re that sixteen year old girl again afraid of all men that she’d never let herself get close to anyone.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, mum. You deserve to be happy, you’ve always deserved it, I’m just sorry I wasn’t around enough to see it happen,” You tell her painfully, moving towards her to wrap her in a hug.

“I’m so proud of you. You know that, right?” She tells her, leaning back out the hug to look you in the face. This is raw and real and the most vulnerable you’ve been in a long time, not to mention in front of a complete stranger. “What your father did to the both of us tore you apart and I thought I’d lost you for a long time, but meeting Nat and seeing you become a strong woman and then joining the Avengers was the proudest day of my life. I knew you were special from the moment I saw you, but when you stepped on that stage at the press conference; I felt the proudest I’ve ever felt in my life.”

It doesn’t take much mental process to throw yourself at her, hugging the dear life out of your mother. You’ve been so focused on the pain within you, consumed by this ever present resentment for your father, and hatred for men that you didn’t realise that this woman felt it tenfold. She had to pick up the pieces that your father left, she iced the bruises and listened to the cries. She is the strongest person you know.

“I don’t mean to interrupt the moment, but a car just pulled into the driveway,” The man speaks up, causing your mum and you to pull apart from each other. The sinking feeling in your stomach returns and you throw yourself in the direction of the window, slipping beside the man to see through the drapes just in time to see Natasha get out of the car.

“No, no, no. I can’t,” You babble, backing away from the glass until your back hits the wall. 

“Honey, you need to go out there and talk to them,” Your mum says, moving towards the window and wraps her arms around the man.

“Is Captain America actually on your lawn, Y/M/N or am I losing it?” He asks her, staring wide eyed through the glass. You watch them and listen carefully to the car doors shutting, and slowly their footsteps move across the porch and suddenly there is a rapping on the door.

You stare at it as your mother and her boyfriend stare back at you, and all you have to do is swallow your pride and open the door, but all you can do is run, turn on your heels and make a break for it into the backyard.

Clutching your knees, you try to regain your breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. But it doesn’t matter because you hear the door open, the greetings, the heavy boots hitting the floor, the glass door sliding open, the sigh; all of it, you hear it and you know he’s close because all the hairs on your body stand on end.

You straighten and stare at the lemon tree sitting in the corner of your mother's yard. You don’t want to turn around and look at him. You can’t look into his eyes, not now, not after everything. He should have just stayed away, but Nat would have convinced him, always about a resolution that girl.

“Y/N,” He says, all raspy and sweet and the sound of your name leaving his lips turns your body into liquid. Tears spring to your eyes and all the emotions return in a gigantic wave and you dip your head to attempt to contain yourself, sobs raking your body. “Y/N.”

You hear him move towards you beneath the sounds of your sobs, but it doesn’t occur to you that what happens next could happen. 

You feel the strong arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you tight against his chest. He grips you tight, dipping his head to rest it in the crevice where your shoulder meets your neck. It only makes you sob harder. This is the first time he’s touched you, minus the time you were bleeding everywhere. 

“I can’t…” You sob. The words refuse to come out, but you think he understands because he pulls you just slightly tighter against his chest.

“Don’t run from me,” He speaks, achingly beautiful in the silence. “Not anymore.”

You struggle to wrap your head around the scenario. He followed you, he came to you, fought his own urge to run to find you instead. Pulling you from the depths of your constant despair.

“I can’t love you from a distance anymore, Steve,” You choke out, battling with the tears that continue to threaten to spill.

“I can’t either,” He says, releasing you from his grasp and turning you in his arms to face him. You stare at his stormy blue eyes with your bloodshot ones, focused solely on the man you are so deeply enamoured with.

There’s nothing on Earth that you want more than him. You would sacrifice everything for him, time and time again. So you do the only thing you can think of, you sacrifice your dignity and pride, and throw yourself into his arms. 

Wrapping your arms tight around his neck, dragging yourself the short distance to his mouth and you press your mouth to his.

His arms slowly find their way to your waist and wrap tightly around you, dragging your body tight against his. Your hands grip the side of his face as you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. He responds by dipping his tongue into your mouth, sending your body into shockwaves of arousal. 

This is all you’ve ever wanted. To kiss him. To be kissed by him.

“I can’t be away from you anymore,” Steve rasps out finally, leaning back slightly to look you in the eyes.

“Then don’t be.”

“Break it up, kids. We have a job to do,” Nat says from the sliding door, you lean around Steve to look at her with furrowed brows. “Fury just called.”

“Fuck,” You breath, leaning your forehead against Steve’s shoulder. 

“To be continued,” He whispers, pressing a light kiss to your temple; unravelling himself from you and moving both of you towards the house.

The good fight never ending. Not even for love.

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[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Odd Eye”

oh mY F UCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

OH MY F UCKING GOD THE SONG WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS??????????? DEAD ASS?????????????? THAT BEGINNING SOUND ALONE TRIGGERED MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND THEN IT JUST CALMS DOWN YET MY BRAIN IS ALREADY F UCKING LOSING IT- ITS THE GUITAR ALL THROUGHOUT AND HOW I JUST HEADBANG WITH EVERY HIT OF THAT DRUM OR WHATEVER THE F UCK FOR ME- pls calm down okay i just……………………… leez…… ollounder…………… i oWE YOU MY LIFE- the way the prechorus is so FAST???????? like whaT IN THE ACTUAL F UCK the way it hypes me up with that instrumental the DRUMS GOT ME BOUNCIN AND S HIT AND GET SMACKED IN THE FACE ODD EYE I SWEAR TO GOD I FELT A NEW EMOTION AFTER THA- AFTER THIS WHOLE SONG TO BE HONEST-

THE?????????????? LINE DISTRIBUTION?????????????? IS SO SE*Y?????????????? THE IMMENSE POWER IN SIYEONS AND YOOHYEONS VOICES I CANT- ACTUAL SUA RAPPER CRUMBS idc what yall say minuscule sua rapper crumbs THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG AND DAMI LINES IS F UCKING DELICIOUS 😩😩😩 HANDONG VERSE CHORUS AND BRIDGE?????????????? DAMI BRIDGE??????????????? ‘LIVE IT UP’?????????????? BICTH IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgot to do this for boca so imma do it here kinda

YES YOOHYEON START THE SONG

THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG?????????????????? I CANT BREATHE??????????????????????

and ofc her ooOOOooOOO-

sua rapper crumbs idc idc-

YOOHYEON AND SIYEON BEING QUEENS OF CHORUSES AGAIN ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE GO👏OFF👏

jiu ‘no more utopia’ AND sua ‘no more utopia’ pls took me three (3) tries to type ‘utopia’

LIVE IT UP YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN YOU BETTER RAP YOUR HEART OUT

JIU AND HANDONG CHORUS

THE F UCKING BRIDGE CHANGED MY LIFE

okay for the dance i will be using the mcountdown fancam BC I DO WANT THE F UCK I WANT 👁👁 I JUST WANNA SAY i lit rally CANNOT believe how stable they are dancing LIKE THAT™ thE POWER THEY HOLD ANYWAY as always the dance always S L A P and is literally impossible to dance to without feeling like youre absolutely f ucking d*ing and out of breath……………… LOVE THAT

THE BEGINNING EYE FORMATION ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

im delusional but lowkey deja vu clown me idc idc-

THE SUA RUNNING OUT OF THERE THE JIU THE COMPLICATED HAND STUFF

JUST👏THE👏CHOREO👏FOR👏THE👏CHORUS👏BICTH

siyeon doing this

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

putting a bullet point for just that one (1) second of dami doing That™

handong right after…………………………………

gahyeons part with the other members doing different moves my eyes liked it

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

like jiu and dami with handong ive literally watched that for five hours-

i just like the way they lined up and needed it to be linked here

THE SPIN THAT K*LLED US ALL

THE KICK THAT SENT US SIX FEET UNDER

S C R E A M……………………………………………………… Iconic™

DO YOU SEE THE BUDGET IN THE VISUALS JESUS CHRIST- the f ucking set up all of the effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of the lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of thE GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the black and white set and theyre wearing red…………………… the red and white set and theyre wearing black…………………… that purple and green place…………………… the tree and random nature but everything is so futuristic looking…………………… dunno why yoohyeon is in a graffiti covered restroom but im LIVING for it- SIYEON SURROUNDED BY THOSE TVS DAMI IN THAT TRAIN THAT MULTICOLORED PLACE WHEREVER SUA IS EXCUSE ME- I COULD LITERALLY NAME EVERY SCENE IN THIS DAMN MUSIC VIDEO AND THEY👏ALL👏SLAP👏HARD👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THI-

jk ill name some😊😊😊again id name everything but ill just show one i liked more than others bc this is alreADY TOO DAMN LONG-

this is self restraint btw

I FEEL THREATENED-

helL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I CRIED????????????????????????

this is here for no reason other than bc i wanted it here-

OOP-

OOP- x2

………………………………… F-

WHY OFC I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE

ABSOLUTELY…………………………… ABSOLUTELY

OH F CUK-

it was this or the close up shot either way it k*lled me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

😦

OH NO-

OOP- x3

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

honestly let me just mention i really clowned and set myself up for heartbreak bc the album is only called ‘road to utopia’ but i assumed theyll find utopia bc thats how trilogies work but then this slaps me in the face- what im saying is im 🤡

T H E M

oK A Y SO THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY LIKE GODDAMNIT COULD I JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN (10) MINUTES PLS- SO HERE ILL JUST SAY ONE (1) WORD………………………………………………

W O M E N™

plus this truly is long enough good god-

JIU

OH BICTH SHE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK RIGHT AT THE START WHEN SHE JUST POPPED UP- lemme just talk about this screenshot for a second the STREAKS IN HER HAIR and THE PIERCING???????? THE JACKET???????GOOD GOD????????? L I S T E N her outfits during the dance scenes the R E D especially jeSUS- its that red one for me im pretty sure some of yall saw me go F E R A L™ on the dashboard about it so i WILL NOT go into it again- and theN THAT DRESS A F CUKING QUEEN LOVE TO SEE IT

SUA

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO BRING UP THE VERY START WITH THAT SLOW MO- RED👏IS👏HER👏COLOR 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏  the dark hime cut………………… the choker on both the red and the black is it the same one doesnt matter im d*ad……………… yo her wavy hair and that dress when it looked like she was in some hair shampoo commercial bicth i liVED FOR THAT- and theN T H I S YES THIS THAT IN THE SCREENSHOT the leather and the jacket the writing on her face i waNT HER TO BEAT ME WITH THAT LIGHT-

SIYEON

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM LITEREALLY CRYINNG

I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls breathe yes i see that orange coat with the collar and her two different colored eyes and how she is sitting in that chair i see her looking so fine in that red outfit especially near the end of the mv oh mY GOD- those pants yall bringing that style back from boca literally let me bREATHE FOR LIKE TWO (2) SECONDS

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENLISTENLISTENLISTEN my eyes legit started tearing up when i saw her so soon in the mv yall DO NOT understand the emotions im going through to rewatch this mv again and again anD- iiiIIIIiiII CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS MYSELF BUT I JUST WANNA DIRECTLY MENTION THOSE CRYSTALS AND HER HIGH PONYTAIL SHE MADE F UCKING SURE TO SHOW OFF HOW POWERFUL SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOHYEON

YOOHYEON WITH BUNS??????????????????? THAT LIPSTICK COLOR RIGHT AT THE START???????? THAT OUTFIT WITH THE RED PLAID SKIRT????????? like when you REALLY look at the outfit the polkadot jacket and the tie makes not a lot of sense but she made it woRK!!!!!!!!! okayokayokay her lip ring and dance outfits lets talk about it to be honest its something about that chain that hangs on her torso that makes it really hit………………… but like the entire outfits HIT™ she ripped her pants didnt she

DAMI

I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me why for literally one (1) second of that ‘live it up’ it snapped my neck???????? it was HARDLY A FLASH OF LIGHT YET IT WAS ENOUGH TO HURT ME- i prefer her short hair but listen the longer hair is making so many points rn- i think i said that for boca too… SHES LITERALLY SITTING YALL AND YET HERE I AM- the jacket the necklace the gloves and then that dramatic spin and the leaves OH MY GOD- DID YALL👏SEE THE WAY👏SHE KEPT👏FEELING👏HER NECK👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHYEON

GAHYEON THE WOMAN YOU ARE- i wanna start with the black hair and thee stickers look bc i wanna buT WE LOVE NOIR BY SUNMI but like i love that look like overall????????????? she literally wears the same outfit for that and this screenshot but the vibe is so different i LOVE this purple color she got going rn and that black hair IS A STATEMENT imma be more open here about it but lowkey i am genuinely missing her dark hair rn- anyway THAT DESIGN AROUND HER EYE WITH THAT RED OUTFIT BRUH DO I D*E-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

IVE NEVER BEEN SO FERAL IN MY LIFE

Wind Blows

this instrumental……………………… holy god????????????? its chill for like a second in the beginning and then it just YEETS you in- imma be real i wasnt sure about that ‘wind blows’ part i dunno why i ……… into it at first but yknow whaT THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS DAMIS RAP I SWEAR- but then the prechorus parts are so chill??????????? is it bc its handong its probably bc its handong ‘always be with you like gravity’ siyeon pls- it gives me the same energy as tension and break the wall where i feel like i jusT GAIN ALL THE STRENGTH AND CONQUER THE WORLD yes i saw the dance multiple times it k*lled me every single time

Poison Love

literally what the f uck- when i heard it in the highlight medley i knew i was gonna LOVE this like i cant stand how much i love their sexy bops like dami got me immediately ‘why do you?’ YOURE RIGHT DAMI WHY DO I- you could NEVER go wrong with lower register dreamcatcher NOTHING👏CAN👏GO👏WRONG👏 DAMI AND GAHYEON THEIR RAPS JESUS CHRIST i put my hand on my heart i was so taken aback- maybe i went back to replay it a few times when i was listening to it and then handong……………………………………………………… UH ANYWAY-

4 Memory

JIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THE HAPPY AND BOUNCY AND FUN BOP OF THE ALBUM- like ive said this to a few moots that this song just makes me happy and lifts up my mood its the little instrumental parts in the chorus for me i dunno what it is its just pleasant to my ears and then damis rap is so fun like :cccccc cute- like this is a song about the seasons and wanting to be with someone (well jiu help write this is this about like insomnias or am i a stupid clown-) like i REALLY WISH i could express how much i enjoy this song but i would just be repeating myself that its a feel good happy song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New days

DAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i dunno how to describe the energy this song holds except ‘friendship energy’- its literally the guitar all throughout the song for me LIKE i feel like im just wrapped in a nice hug BUT NOT JUST ANY KIND OF HUG its the kind that the other person opened their jacket and theyre holding me and their jacket is around me listening to this song yall i kinda wanna cry i dunno- everyone sounds so lovely especially jiu pls her voice is so soft and DAMI OFC HER RAP GETS A HELL YEAH™ FROM ME like the ‘find you’ AND THEN AT THE END ‘FOUND YOU’ IM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (if yall cant see its the pleading puppy eyed emoji)

LIKE WHAT A WAY TO START THE F UCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so in awe of everything about this as SOON AS SOON I SAY i saw the very first photo teaser and i COULDNT STOP LISTENING TO THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY AND THE TEASER WITH THE SUITS AND THE DRINKS IS STILL LIVING IN MY HEAD- alright alright ill calm down for this part but its one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS FOR👏SURE👏 like i really cant think of any criticisms regarding anything about it!!!!!!!!!!!! since im posting this after promotions are over (odd eye promotions anyway) i will just say im EXTREMELY proud of what we have accomplished as fans and what the girls have achieved during this era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hella wild all around and i am once again saying that im very happy to be an insomnia <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and ONCE AGAIN JUST ONE (1) MORE TIME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 

IN CONCLUSION: THIS ALBUM TAKES ME TO AN ENTIRELY NEW WORLD AND IM GONNA LIVE IT UP

AND AS ALWAYS:

[meandmyechoes]

The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?

I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.

I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.

I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[26th April 16:00]

I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.

If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.

And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.

[axiomsofice]

Leafs: New Additions

Welcome back to another year in Leaf Land, as always at a most critical nexus. There’s a lot of negativity, and as usual some of its well earned, and some of its too far. Within all that, it’s important to acknowledge the progress that this group has made, free from the fervid luster of hope offered early in the Matthews era.

The novelty of the Canadian Division, and the 4 separate leagues that took part in the 2021 season did cap the amount this team could change our minds, but having a strong and consistent regular season and finishing top 10 in goals against, was a huge development, and continuing those results to a full 82 game schedule is still an important step. In general, this fan base took the first sign of positivity and grew championship expectations, to the point where the past 2 or 3 seasons many have been saying “there’s nothing to prove until the playoffs”, and even to this point that simply isn’t true. 

Mrazek

After spending a large part of the past 2 seasons desperately searching for depth and stability in the sport’s most important position, acquiring Mrazek is certainly the most important move of the offseason. He’s probably in a cluster of mid tier starters, sometimes called a tandem starter or 1B, similar to Frederick Andersen, the fact that he’s younger and cheaper than Andersen is also a plus. He’s coming off some strong seasons behind a very good Carolina team, meaning he’s been a focal point for a successful team already, although he was not the starter in each of the Hurricanes’ past 2 postseason runs. He’s started 40 games in a season twice, meaning he’ll get at most 120 games in over the course of his 3 year deal. He’s had up and down seasons, but has shown flashes of strong play. He has a flare for the dramatic, some style to his play, and entering his age 29 season should be able to deliver a strong segment of his career. The best case scenario, or perhaps a reasonable comp would be similar to what Halak has been able to bring in his 30’s, which is starter level of play over 35-45 games a season, which does fit well with the expectations on Jack Campbell to play in 40-50 games. Ultimately the hope is that Jack can really run with the starter role, but Mrazek will be keeping the level of play in net high.

Menell

Menell takes the mantle as this year’s KHL import on the blueline, a staple that’s seen Zaitsev, Ozighanov, and Lethonen pass through to varying degrees of success in recent years. Menell, unlike the others, offers a stronger resume on the smaller ice surface, putting in several strong AHL seasons with the Iowa Wild before his most recent all-star season in Russia. Similar to Lethonen, he is a strong offensive player and could figure into a role on the power play. At this point he’s done everything he can besides earn some playing time at the top level, and provides an interesting depth option to the blueline.

Dahlstrom

It can be difficult for low-scoring defensive players to stand out, and that might be the case for Dahlstrom. The 26 year old Swede has 2 years experience in the SHL, followed by 4 increasingly strong stints in the AHL, with a 35+ game run on the porous 18-19 Chicago team and 10+ games with the Jets the following year. He did eventually earn an Assistant Captain role on Chicago’s AHL affiliate. Despite all that, he’s only played 35 games or so the last 2 years, as he probably got squeezed as a fringe player throughout the first covid season. He certainly is qualified to fill in a depth role, although surely in a different style than Menell. Together they represent good reinforcements with potential upside should injuries occur. He’s big, skates well enough for his size, has some passing abilities.

Kase

Another player who hasn’t played all that much recently, Kase has fought a lot of tough injuries over the recent years. Kase is still only 25, but it was all the way back in 17-18 that he scored 29 goals as a member of the Ducks. He has posted really strong possession and shot metrics throughout his career, and plays a very rambunctious and tenacious style. Hopefully he can stay healthy and at least have a chance to continue his strong play, but with concussions we can only know so much. A one year deal means there isn’t any long term risk, and best case Kase provides some of the “all terrain” capabilities that Barclay Goodrow brought to the Lighting the past couple seasons.

Ritchie

Ritchie is a big power forward, who can manage to shovel in 10-20 goals a year. Although his career high comes from his time in Anaheim, it’s reasonable to expect he could have a career season over the 2 years of his contract. He does bring certain qualities lacking from the forward group at this point and could fit well somewhere in the top 6. Even with Hyman in the lineup, when Simmonds missed time last year there was a noticeable lack of net front presence, which Ritchie should help satisfy. Personally, I’ve spent a lot of time being thankful the Leafs took Nylander instead of Ritchie in their draft year, but Ritchie is still young at 25 and is a quality add to the forward group. He might take an excessive amount of penalties, but that could also “even out” and earn the Leafs a few more calls as well.

Kampf

As we get to our 6th addition, a pattern is clear, young free agents (mid to late 20s) who should have more in the tank than the older additions of last season, and perhaps with their best seasons in front of them. That is certainly the case with Kampf, who has already proven to be an effective bottom 6 defensive centre in the NHL. He is in crazy good shape and is good at faceoffs. In his introductory presser Dubas mentioned he’s been on the Leafs’ radar for a while, and that they saw more offensive upside to his game. He certainly has a similar style of play to Danault, helping break cycles in the defensive zone and supporting transition well up ice, and could really help unlock stronger play from the 3rd or 4th line. In particular I think he would pair really well with a strong defensive winger who can carry the puck through the neutral zone, Ilya Mikheyev, and/or David Kase.

Bunting

Bunting “came out of nowhere” to score 10 goals in 20 games for the Coyotes last season, and we should not be expecting 40 goals next year. That being said, signing him to 2 years at only $950,000 is a great deal. For the brief time Jared McCaan was a Leafs I was excited about adding a complimentary top 6 player who could shoot well to pair with Marner and Matthews. Bunting definitely has the chance to live up to that. It’s obviously not at Matthews’ level, but Bunting can score from the high to mid slot. He’s speedy enough to pressure through the neutral zone and off the rush, and has some skill in making moves to beat defenders and goaltenders. He isn’t afraid to get to the dirty areas and had a few goals tipping in shots from the point. He is also feisty, gets under opponents’ skin and hustles like his job depends on it. He said in his introductory interview that he had spent long enough in the minors that when he finally got called up last season he played with nothing to lose, and compared his style of play to Marchand. Although that is a lot of lofty rhetoric, it’s easy to see how this could be a huge win for the franchise. If he proves to be 4th line contributor it’s a good deal, but there’s good reason to be excited beyond that. It might be a bit off topic to say I think that it’s important that Matthews and Marner’s liberate has a good enough shot to capitalize on the opportunity they will have as well as the tenacity Hyman brought so effectively, and Bunting has the tools to do it.

Gabriel

Gabriel is a fighter with social media presence, and especially for a pro hockey player, tries to be inclusive. I could see him being called up and deployed circumstantially. Although Simmonds and Ritchie have both thrown their share of fists, having a DH of sorts might be useful? Regardless, as a cultural focal point of both hockey and Canada the Leafs have the opportunity and responsibility to do their part in changing our culture for the better, and considering the league minimum cap hit this signing represents checks of few different boxes in terms of “intangibles”.

Semyonov

Semyonov has played parts of 5 seasons in the KHL, including a couple deep postseason runs as a middle 6 forward and eventually became an Assistant Captain. At 26, there doesn’t seem like a great chance he’ll be a factor at the NHL level, although he should get a fair shake at training camp. It is more likely he fits in as a veteran presence on a Marlies team that will feature a lot of Russian players, from Amirov, SDA, Gogolev and Abramov. The Marlies will look to be a lot stronger this year and those 5 forwards will look to be a big part of that. He gets to the net and most of his goals will be from rebounds and scrambles in front. He has some good puck skills, which will be shown off with some fancy passes. He’s big and fast enough to have some effect on the forecheck.

Way Too Early Lines

Bunting Matthews Marner Kerfoot Tavares Nylander Mikheyev Kampf Kase Ritchie Spezza Simmonds Engvall Brooks

Reilly Brodie Muzzin Holl Sandin Dermott Liljegren

Campbell Mrazek Hutchinson

Notes on fringe players

Mikheyev has been taking some heat recently. He clearly had trouble converting chances into goals and his wrist injury could have been a huge factor in losing confidence. He is good defensively, and is a strong enough skater that he’s able to transition through the neutral zone really well. Despite being a powerful skater he does seem to look a bit like an old man at times. It’s easy to see how he could be similar to former Leaf Michael Grabner, in that whether he is converting on breakaways or not could fluctuate his goal totals enough to drastically change opinions year to year (both are strong on the pk as well).

Engvall shows flashes of brilliance in a lot of ways. Speed and size to defend well, soft hands and really good passes, scoring touch, but somehow looks like he has trouble putting it all together. Dubas and Keefe have had him for a long time, and with one year left on his deal it might be his best chance at becoming an NHL regular.

Brooks will have to replicate his strong play from last year. He looked really strong alongside Spezza, where he was able to use his hockey sense and passing skills to his advantage. It is not a given that he’ll be able to, but he’s continued to show signs of growth so maybe he can continue to surpass expectations with more opportunities.

Liljegren has all the physical tools to be a good NHL defender, skates and passes well enough to beat forechecks, physical enough to play the body, but he’s looked a bit lost at times. I think with strength and experience we’ll see him settle into a regular role, and it’s not an indictment that he hasn’t got there yet, even if he spends most of his time in the AHL again this year. It might be a bit much to rely on a Sandin-Liljegren pairing when everyone is available, but I would love to see him get a chance alongside Muzzin at some point.

[chocoluckchipz]

The Other You - 10

Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

< Previous

Being a physics teacher, Adrien was used to solving problems. Yet, finding a competent assistant for Marinette fast enough was proving to be more difficult than he’d ever thought possible.

Sure, there were hundreds of applications and resumes stored in Gabriel’s database but none of the qualified people contacted in the last two days had agreed to come for an interview. Most had already had a job. Others, though jobless, were not willing to give a seemingly doomed company a chance.

Adrien shouldn’t despair though… or at least, that what his HR manager had said as he left for the day. Surely, tomorrow they would find a person crazy enough to jump on board. They might need a little training and time to work on their skills but at least they would be there. Right?

Adrien sighed, leaning into his chair. No. Marinette needed a professional, not a student to teach right now. At any other time, that might have worked but not this close to the show that bore her professional future on its metaphorical shoulders.

Adrien glanced at the clock. Half an hour until nine. A smile found its way on his face, his mouth salivating from just the memory. Yesterday’s meal was the best he’d had in a long time. Marinette was an amazing cook. Adrien knew his cuisine. He could recognize quality when he tasted it.

“Time to go.” Adrien stretched, standing up. “Ready, guys?”

“What’s the rush?” Plagg yawned, lazily flying out of his basket. “You need five minutes to get there, tops.”

“We need to drop by a store and my apartment first.”

“What for?” the kwami grumbled. “Didn’t you run enough today?”

“I thought it’d be polite for us to bring a dessert,” Adrien replied. “And Duusu needs more grapes.”

“Yippie!” The peacock kwami flew out from one of the shelves, doing a flip in midair. “Can I get the sweet green kind with a little pinkish tint on them?”

“They are called Cotton Candy, Duusu,” Nooroo said, getting out of his pile of fabric. “And they're not in season now. You know that.”

“But what if they are?”

“They are not.”

“But what if they are?”

“Duusu—”

“If they’re in stock, I’ll make sure to buy you enough for a week,” Adrien interrupted, putting on his jacket. “Otherwise, I’ll stock on a variety for you to try. Sounds good?”

“Yes!” Duusu squealed. “Thank you! You’re the best Master ever!”

“Nooroo, you can take some of those cuts before we leave. I noticed you like them.”

Nooroo’s eyes lit up. “You’re so generous, Master! Thank you!” He dove into the pile to gather as many pieces of silk as he could.

Plagg huffed, rolling his eyes. “Nuisances. Did we really have to take them with us? They would’ve been perfectly fine staying home. Better yet dormant back in their miraculouses.”

“They’ve been isolated for long enough,” Adrien replied. “I think they deserve some freedom for once.”

“Not at the expense of my peace,” Plagg grumbled.

Adrien reached over and scratched his kwami under the chin, evoking an involuntary purr from him. “You’ll benefit from being around other kwamis, Plagg. Maybe then you’ll become less grumpy.”

“Being grumpy is not art just anyone can muster,” Plagg mumbled under his breath, flying into Adrien’s bag. Duusu and Nooroo, with his pile of silk cuts, joined him a moment later. Adrien turned the light off and walked out of the office. After a quick visit to a nearby grocery store, he transformed around the corner and headed home to drop off Nooroo and Duusu. Appeasing the kwamis with food and Netflix, Adrien changed into his loungewear so he’d be able to just plop into a bed right after Marinette’s, then headed off to collect his rent fee.

At exactly nine o’clock, Chat Noir knocked on her window.  

“Good evening, Chat,” she greeted with a smile.

Chat grinned and inhaled, stepping into the room. Delicious. His mouth watered. “What’s for dinner?”

“Quiche Lorraine.”

“Sounds yummy. Smells heavenly.”

She giggled. “It is yummy. Go wash your paws while I set the table.”

Chat obeyed, though it was awkward at best to wash his gloved hands, but he supposed it was justified, seeing as he touched all kinds of surfaces on his way here. As he settled down in front of a steaming slice of quiche, Chat could hardly contain his excitement. This genius rent fee was his best idea ever. Period. “Itadakimasu.”

Marinette snickered, putting a slice of quiche on her plate. “Careful, Chat. Your weeb’s showing.”

He grinned. “But it’s you. You know all my flaws already. I don’t have to pretend.”

She cocked her head to the side. “I thought you would have overgrown that stage by now.”

Chat gasped dramatically. “You can never outgrow the wonder that is anime! It’s not a phase. It’s a part of me! How could you imply so, Princess?”

Marinette laughed. “Alright, alright. Eat before you choke on your drool.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Chat grinned before stuffing his mouth full of what he immediately judged to be the food of angels. “This is good. Very good. I could live off this my whole life.”

Marinette started on her own meal. “I learned my quiches from Papa. He’s the real deal when it comes to those. Mine aren’t up to his standard yet.”

“Says who? I remember your dad’s pies. They were delicious, but they weren’t better. In fact, in addition to being delicious, this quiche is also somehow different. There is something distinctly yours about it. So don’t you go selling yourself short.”

“You think so?”

He nodded. “You could make a fortune selling these. Marinette the Quiche Queen. I can see it now.”

Marinette laughed. “Dork. Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Then tell me how your day was while I indulge myself in this heavenly food.”

Marinette frowned, shifting her eyes to the side immediately.

“That bad?”

She nodded. “Since my assistant quit, I have to do twice the work now. And I was already struggling to keep up with my own portion. That’s why I’d stay overtime to finish whatever I couldn’t during the day, but now I can’t do even that so I’m falling behind already, and it’s only the first day.”

“Because of me and my rent fee?”

She shook her head. “Even if I didn’t have to cook for you, today my new boss enforced a curfew for us to leave the premises at the end of each working day. I have to be out of the building by eight or risk being sent on a mandatory day off the next day. And if that happens, I’ll fall even further behind which means Gabriel’s women’s line won’t make it to Paris' Fashion Week at the end of summer.”

“It’s good for your health and sanity, though, no? To get enough rest.”

“Not if I spend all of my ‘rest’ time worrying sick over not finishing my collection on time and losing my job, possibly my career, as a result,” Marinette grumbled. “Stupid curfew. Stupid Adrien. It’s like he doesn’t care in the slightest. Then, why should he care? Gabriel’s men’s line is on time and looks good. Adrien has nothing to worry about. It’s not like his whole future career hangs on that damned line.”

“I’m sure he realizes how important this is for you,” Chat said carefully. “Maybe he’s just trying to prevent you from killing yourself by introducing this curfew? Overworking and exhaustion can kill you, you know.”

“Then he could’ve just hired a new assistant for me instead,” Marinette murmured. “It would’ve been more effective.”

“And I’m sure he’s realizing that too and I won’t be surprised if he’s trying to find you one as fast as he can.”

Marinette fell silent as they continued to eat. When her plate was clean, she quietly added. “Sorry for being a downer. It’s just that… my whole career, my entire future is tied to that stupid line and this upcoming Paris Fashion Week. It will either make me or break me and after how much I’ve invested in this already… I’m not sure if I can handle the failure.”

Chat reached out, putting his hand over Marinette’s. “If I can help in any way, just tell me.”

She lifted her eyes full of tears to him, a sad smile on her lips. “You’re already helping, Chat. You gave me a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. And honestly, this ridiculous rent fee of yours is kind of a godsend. I always enjoyed cooking. It helps me relax after a stressful day and knowing I have a friend to share my dinner with gives me the strength to hang on. So, thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” Chat shoved the last piece of his quiche in his mouth. “It’s not like I am not the one benefiting from this arrangement the most. Can I have one more slice, please?”

Marinette giggled, ruffling his hair. “Sure. And I’ll pack you some to take home.”

He closed his eyes in delight. “Thank you. Now I don’t have to admit I was already thinking of ways to beg you for thirds. This is undoubtedly the best meal I’ve had in the past few years.”

“Speaking of meals,” Marinette perked. “There is one good thing Adrien did with all the changes he’d implemented today.”

Chat quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? What is it?”  

“Well, I have no idea why since Gabriel is a huge company but his father never had a cafeteria on site. We had to either go out for lunch or bring our own, and with all the stress and rush, I did tend to forget my meals until I was starving. But then with all the work on my plate, I wouldn’t have time to go out, so I’d settle for a snack from a vending machine. But today, Adrien announced that starting tomorrow, we’ll have our own cafeteria with freshly cooked meals on-site. The best part—the company pays. All employees get food for free.”

“Wow,” Chat tried to look surprised. “Isn’t Gabriel in trouble? How can he afford that?”

“I have no idea,” Marinette replied. “But I’m not complaining. It’ll be nice to eat normal meals again.”

Chat Noir smirked. Money wasn’t an issue. Having a cafeteria on-site didn’t cost as much as everyone thought, and his father had left behind a far bigger fortune than anyone had realized. It was only fair that some of it would go into replenishing the health of employees who’d sacrificed their wellbeing catering to his father’s every whim.

But!

Marinette thought he had a good idea! Huh! What happened to that annoyed and grumpy Marinette that glared at him at this morning’s meeting when he gathered his lead employees and announced new implementations?

“Seems like this new boss of yours isn’t so awful after all. Those new rules don't sound too bad.”

“Free food—yes, not bad at all. Curfews—no. Burn them with fire.”

Chat cocked his head to the side. “I suspect there is a reason you’re huffy about the curfew. Don’t tell me you were planning to sneak back in to work after feeding me?”

Marinette stilled for a brief moment, then cleared her throat. “That’s ridiculous. Why would you think such a thing? Are you done with that?” She pointed to his plate, standing up.

“Marinette, no,” Chat sighed, now reassured he’d made the right decision with that curfew. It seemed ridiculous to enforce it in the first place since all but Marinette left work at a decent hour, but it was the only way Adrien could think of forcing Marinette to go home and rest. “Please, promise me you won’t do that. You have all day for work. At night, you need to rest. You already collapsed once. Let’s not repeat that.”

“Don’t worry, Chat. I wouldn’t sneak back in.” Marinette shrugged. “I can’t afford to get caught and be sent home for a day. Not this close to my goal, but—” she smirked, “—a curfew doesn’t mean I can’t take work home, right?”

“I guess it doesn’t.” Chat sighed, standing up. “I’d better get going then. We wouldn’t want you to spend all your evening entertaining me and then lose sleep working.”

“You know if not for work, I’d totally kick your ass in a video game now.”

“Well, then let’s hope your boss will find you an assistant soon, so you’ll have free time to do that.”

“Let’s do that.”

Marinette packed him half of the leftover quiche and half of the macarons he’d brought her, both of them agreeing that they were too full after the main meal to have dessert right away. Then, she promised him not to stay up too late, and with that Chat Noir departed. He did have a patrol to get to.

Chat stopped at a nearby roof, wondering if he should even bother with patrolling. Hawkmoth was gone. So was Mayura. Whatever small crime was going on, the police could handle it. Paris didn’t need Ladybug and Chat Noir anymore. They didn’t have to patrol. They could go back to a somewhat normal life. Take those masks off. Maybe, finally, start a relationship. They could be free.

He only wished he could tell that to Ladybug.

But…

That sort of revelation would entail a conversation Adrien wasn’t sure he was ready for yet. He would eventually… if only because Nooroo and Duusu needed to go back to the Guardian. But not now. Not yet. He needed time to wrap his mind around it all himself first before opening up to someone else. It pained him to keep a secret from his Lady. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to look her in the eye next time they met, but what could he do? How would he explain? Would she understand the shame and anger and confusion that was consuming him?

His baton beeped.

Ladybug: I hope you’re enjoying the weather, Chaton, and I’m sorry to ask, but would it be okay for me to miss a few more days? Work’s gotten harder for me to manage.

Chat Noir: Of course, my Lady. Take all the time you need.

Ladybug: I really am sorry. Message me if something happens.

Chat Noir: Not a problem. Good luck with your work! Hope it goes well.

Ladybug: Thanks. I’ll see you in a few days. <3

Chat Noir: <3

That settled it. Patrol abandoned, Chat Noir headed straight home. Once back at his apartment, he detransformed and plopped on his bed.

“Are you alright, Master?” Nooroo asked, floating closer.

“He’s fine,” Plagg grumbled from nearby. “It’s his normal state of brooding.”

“Are you sure?” Duusu frowned from his place in front of Adrien’s laptop. “My wielders—”

“Your miraculous was broken at the time, Duusu, wasn’t it?” Plagg rolled his eyes. “I know my kitten, and I’m telling you he’s fine.”

“I am fine,” Adrien decided to end the argument before it started. “Just tired. Lots of work. Lots of things I have to think about.”

Once again trying to concede his own father was Hawkmoth, Adrien’s mind raced to the events of the past. Little details. Tiny hints. Bigger slip-ups. How could he never have suspected anything? Even Ladybug figured him out that one time until…

“Say, Nooroo?” Adrien turned over and propped himself up to lean on his elbows. “If my father was Hawkmoth, how could he be akumatized? The Collector?”

“It can be done,” Nooroo nodded. “The butterfly wielder’s power is to give supernatural abilities to anyone, including themselves.”

“As long as there are strong negative emotions, right? That’s what we gathered over the years.”

Nooroo shook his head. “Not necessarily. Your father searched for people who were upset and angry because they were easier to manipulate. But when he akumatized himself or Mme Nathalie, for example, neither of them had strong negative emotions, just a goal in mind.”

“Wait!” Adrien sat up. “Nathalie? Are you saying Nathalie knew and was helping him?”

Nooroo lowered his eyes, glancing at Duusu, who promptly bowed his head.

Gears clicking in his head, Adrien stared in shock at the peacock kwami. His eyes bulged. “Mayura… Nathalie was Mayura, wasn’t she?”

Neither kwami spoke. Neither looked at Adrien.

Silence enveloped the room, no one daring to move or say anything until a quiet why slipped Adrien’s lips.

“We don’t have a choice but to follow the orders of our masters,” Nooroo mumbled.

Adrien shook his head. “I know that. I don’t blame you. I just… I don’t understand. Why would Father want to terrorize the city in his spare time? Why would Nathalie… She was… Why would she help him? Why would she know and do nothing about it? I just can’t…”

“For your mother,” Duusu spoke, flying closer. “Your mother was her best friend and your father had a special place in her heart. Everything she did was for them.”

“My mom?” Adrien frowned. “What does Mom have to do with all of this? She disappeared when I was fourteen…” His eyes widened as he sucked in the air. “A few months before Hawkmoth first attacked.” Looking straight at the butterfly and peacock kwami, he pressed his lips together. “What am I missing? Tell me everything.”

Nooroo glanced at Duusu before murmuring, “I don’t think that’s—”

Adrien stood up, a tight, uncomfortable feeling gripping at his chest. “This is my family we’re talking about, my father and his assistant who terrorized this city and tried to kill me for years, supposedly for my mother. Don’t you think I have the right to know?”

“Spill it, guys,” Plagg said, flying to sit on Adrien’s shoulder. “I’m rather interested myself.”

Duusu lowered his head even further as Nooroo sighed and gave in, disclosing to Adrien the story of a young Gabriel and Emilie, two adventurers in love who found Duusu and him buried under the snow on a random Tibetan mountain on one of their expeditions. They brought them back to Paris, Gabriel choosing Nooroo as Emilie favoured Duusu. Only the peacock miraculous was broken and an unfortunate accident soon after left Emilie in a magical coma.

“She didn’t disappear?” Adrien whispered, his head feeling dizzier and dizzier with every word that left Nooroo’s mouth.

The kwami shook his head. “Your father put her on life support and hid her in the basement under your house.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “No. That can’t be.”

“He hoped that by obtaining Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses he’d be able to bring her back to life.”

“Why didn’t he take her to a hospital? They could’ve saved her.”

“A coma caused by magic cannot be resolved by human medicine,” Nooroo sighed.

“No.” Adrien backed away, shaking his head. “This can’t be right. You’re mistaken. My mom disappeared when I was fourteen. They pronounced her legally dead a few years ago. We even had a funeral! I attended that funeral! Don’t tell me she’s still in a coma in the basement of my father’s house!”

“She’s not,” Nooroo replied. “There was a really bad rainy season a few weeks before that funeral. The basement flooded. The system that kept her alive was damaged. The back-up sustained substantial water damage as well and couldn’t kick in when her life support failed. Every minute counted, and your father and Nathalie were both out of the house that day. When they got back, it was already too late.”

Nooroo paused for a moment, letting his words settle in before adding, “Your mother’s coffin at her funeral wasn’t closed because it was empty. It was because your father had no way of explaining how after years of claiming his wife was missing, he suddenly had her body, looking just as young as the day she’d disappeared. I’m sorry, Adrien.”

Stunned, Adrien continued to shake his head, his feet and hands going cold. A chill ran down his spine, skin tingling with discomfort as he struggled to breathe. “No. You’re lying.”

“Kwamis can’t lie,” Duusu whispered. “We can avoid saying things but we can’t lie.”

“No,” Adrien kept repeating. “This… this can’t be true.”

“That’s why Hawkmoth vanished around that same time,” Nooroo said. “Your father had no one to save anymore.”

“No!” Adrien swore under his breath, turning away. This was too much. His mom had still been alive all those years. In a coma but still alive. His father fought them all that time to save her? Was it even possible? Ladybug explained the whole “ultimate wish” to him once, and if Adrien remembered correctly it was more of an ‘equal exchange’ deal than a wish. Was his father aware? He must have been. He had that book on miraculouses. Was he then ready to sacrifice another life for Mom? Someone just as dear to him?

Nathalie?

Or him?

His head spun, stomach violently churning. He leaned against the wall. Neither of those choices made it right. Mom would’ve never wanted that. She’d hate him for doing so. Heck! She’d snatch those miraculouses off him and reverse the wish! Adrien could see it even now. Fierce, always ready to defend justice, and immeasurably kind. His mother was his role model. And as much as Adrien would love to see her again, he knew she’d never let someone else die for her sake. Father should’ve known it as well. How could he claim to have loved her if he was ready to violate something so fundamental to her beliefs? And at a price she’d never agreed to pay?

“Adrien?” Plagg appeared in front of his face, looking rather distressed himself.

Adrien raised his watering eyes to his kwami. “He was a monster,” he whispered. “He was insane. I need… I need to go. Plagg, claws out!

A bright flash of green and Chat Noir sprinted across Paris, not bothering to choose a direction. He just ran. Ran until he collapsed from exhaustion on a random roof, unable to contain his tears anymore.

Next >

[thebibliomancer]

Tides of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 10

Tides of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because will Detective Pirate skekSa’s scientific know-how save Tae? I sure hope so!

Last times on book: Amri and co have gone to Cera-Na on a quest to unify all the Gelfling clans but Sifa Maudra Ethri doesn’t seem that into what they’re pitching. Since it rains when it pours, it turns out that someone poisoned their guide Tae, Madura Ethri is scheming something, and skekSa the Mariner is in town. skekSa takes the assorted characters in this little drama to her ship, A GIANT SEA MONSTER.

Chapter 10

Emergency medical treatment on board the sea monster, Amri does a goof.

Amri did not want to board the ship.

It wasn’t even a ship. It was a living, breathing, heaving, groaning onster. But he didn’t have a choice.

Damn right you don’t, get in the sea monster young gelf.

So when you make a living creature a vessel, you have two to two and a half options. Option half is that you just ride it. I dispute this because it is riding. Option 1 is that you construct some vehicular framework around the creature. Like the giant sea turtles of Warcraft II. The gerblins built a water-tight structure on the back of the turtle and drove them around. The space British people of that one Doctor Who episode built an entire spaceship around a space whale, using the whale basically as the engine, in space.

Option 1 is generally less messy but more tentative than option 2. Option 2 is that you hollow out a giant creature somewhat and build whatever you need inside. In terms of living vehicles, you also see this more when the people using these vessels are kinda dicks? See also the Brood and building ships inside some different space whales.

Long story short, skekSa pushes aside a scale to reveal a door into the sea monster.

Welp.

The passageway inside was a slope reinforced with metal and shell, and Amri committed the path to memory in case they needed to escape. The flesh that made up the artery twitched and spasmed underfoot and all around, circulating the fluids in the wall and giving off the occasional draft of tepid, thick air smelling of fish and blood.

Okay. Not loving this. Not the biggest fan of the womb level trope.

They also find a giant worm lying dying in the passage and skekSa waves it off as the cleaners not having reached this far up the corridor but they don’t encounter any crew at all, cleaners or otherwise, on their trek.

skekSa reached a widening in the tunnel and blew a series of chirps on her whistle. The flesh in the wall trembled, scales folding back and spines retracting to reveal a chamber.

“Welcome to my laboratory.”

Cool but also ew.

And hey she’s a pirate captain detective scientist!

Most of the Skeksis just get to do one thing but skekSa is having it all.

They must have been deep under the behemoth’s shell, for the ceiling was high and structured with beams and rods and poles. A large chandelier of the golden lamps glowing with a fireless light hung from the center of the ceiling, illuminating a long row of shelves stacked with bottles and jars and flasks, and on the other end an expansive library of books. Crystals, looking glasses, lenses, and other objects littered every surface.

Cool pad, skekSa!

She sweeps a table clear, dramatically, and has Tae laid down. The Sifa is barely breathing by this point and has gone nearly white.

Amri points out that zandir shouldn’t cause this, its just a truth dust. And neither should nectarwine.

“Astute, my little Grottan apothecary. However, the zandir flower, known to unlock the mind, is less commonly known to be a distant relative to the sogflower. When taken together, the fruit of the sogflower is awakened by the zandir pollen. It results in a spore that causes the worst effects of both plants: dehydration, loss of blood pressure. And of unlocking the mind, yes -- to a degree most severe. Had Staya known this, surely he wouldn’t have given both to Tae in one cup.”

Ah, so its an adverse reaction. Its like they say, don’t take medicine with alcohol. Although I’m amused at how much Staya has borked up a simple attempt to pump Tae for information by having niche taste in booze.

skekSa shoos out everyone except Amri and Naia. Naia for her healing magic and Amri for knowing him some drugs. While she and Naia get to healing, skekSa has Amri fill up a basin with warm water and grind up some soothing salts into it. “Figure it out yourself, I’ve got to help your friend now.”

Amri has trouble deciding what to choose from skekSa’s extensive inventory.

skekSa asks Naia whether she trained under Maudra Laesid, which Naia confirms.

“The Blue Stone Healer. Her name is well-known. I heard from Lord skekZok  that she had twins, one a son who went to serve my kin at the Castle of the Crystal, one a daughter who inherited her abilities with healing vliyaya. Oh, what I’d give to meet the two of them. Twins being so rare among Gelfling and all.”

OH SHI-

Amri starts to panic about being trapped in a Skeksis’ lab in a Skeksis’ sea monster and that skekSa is going to disappear them.

Tavra tells Amri to be cool, that the only play is to wait and play along and hope an opportunity to escape comes up.

Which calms Amri for a time but he starts thinking about all the songs glorifying the Skeksis and how they’re all lies and how the Grottan way had failed them and their clan was the first to fall.

Now here he was, doing as skekSa told him without protesting. Despite the lies the Skeksis had told them all, despite how the Lords of the Castle had begun plucking from the Gelfling as he was about to pluck from the scented salts. He would never become a hero if he kept doing things the Grottan way. Alone and hiding in the dark.

So this time, Amri asked himself what a daylighter would do.

As skekSa and Naia focused on healing Tae, Amri draws his sword.

Amri no!

Tavra pinched him, hissing in his ear, “Amri, no. Don’t be a fool!”

Listen to Tavra for once!

“There are only so many Skeksis,” he whispered. “After tonight there could be one less.”

“She’ll kill you. She’ll kill us all!”

AMRI!

Tavra bites him several times, finally taking control of his body and forcing him to stop mid-swing. Spider powerrrrrrs.

Naia and skekSa notice Amri standing there with his sword raised and skekSa snatches the blade away. Then she grabs Tavra spider from Amri’s neck and traps her under a bottle.

“Interesting,” skekSa said. She turned away from him as if nothing had happened. “Ah, there she is. Good evening, my dear.”

Consumed by his attempt to kill the Mariner, Amri had failed to notice that Tae was awake. Naia grabbed her shoulder and helped steady her as she sat up.

Naia stares at Amri but he doesn’t really know what to say so he doesn’t say anything, just holds his bleeding neck and feels angry at himself and at Tavra for stopping him.

The Mariner stood back, pulling a lace handkerchief from her coat. She handed it to Amri and gestured.

“For your neck,” she said. “Now fetch that water, will you? Then we’ll discuss your little spider problem.”

You’re pretty chill, skekSa.

I think everyone else in the room is screaming internally.

[radramblog]

Album Discussion: For the First Time

I was tossing up whether or not I wanted to keep going on the Radiohead train, considering there are still a huge pile of B-sides to go through. However seeing as there are, well, a lot of those, and I’d feel like I’d want to cover all of them to do it justice, we’re going to take a little break from that for now.

Instead, we’re going to cover something else that I’m probably not qualified for.

Black Country, New Road is one of those bands that apparently all the modern prog nerds are kind of frothing over, and for good reason- their first LP, For the First Time, is genuinely an excellent piece of music, and they have connections to black midi (decapitalization intentional) who I’ve not listened to but are also apparently quite good. It’s a challenging album in more ways than one, which is why I feel a little trepidatious trying to challenge it- so if you’re a big fan of the record, and think I’m not giving it the credit it deserves somehow, please be gentle.

With that said, A. I don’t think any of my “usual” readerbase is going to have heard of or listened to this album, and I’d like to change that, and B. I think it’s really good so I’m not really deviating from tradition here.

For the First Time is a crisp 6 songs long. But the shortest of those songs is almost 5 minutes, and the longest is almost 10, so we’re still going to be here for a while.

The first track is an instrumental, which is titled Instrumental. As with many a lyricless introduction, it serves to introduce what the album is going to sound like- a complex percussion line, building layers of guitars, and jazzy brass instrumentation. But, seeing as it’s 5 and a half minutes long, it’s definitely also its own song worthy of separate consideration.

Instrumental spends a very long time building up. Crescendo is its word, four minutes of clean instrumentation and layers before a climax that’s tense, almost panicked, many of the instruments blending together in the haze as the brass takes over the melody. It does eventually coalesce into a dramatic finale, as suddenly the guitars (I think one of them is a violin actually) and brass are all playing the same three-note progression, a surprising unity after the organised chaos that is the rest of the track.

I feel like this song is a litmus test for the rest of the album. If you like this track, if you like the tones of the different instruments, the styles being played, then you’re going to like the album as a whole- though I suppose you can’t truly tell until the vocals get introduced one track later.

From the lovely mess of the previous track, the considerably more standard opening of Athens, France is a bit of a comfort, though said opening does have this guitar tone that I utterly adore. This is also, however, where we get into the lyrics of this album, and they’re a somewhat complicated subject.

A couple tracks on this album were singles released long before its debut, and my understanding is that Athens, France is one of them. With this delay came reworkings of many lyrics, heavily changing themes and implications behind the songs themselves, which is directly referenced in Athens, France’s second line.

The other thing is that the lyrics on this album are intensely personal, and this one’s no exception. Considering how utterly stark some of them are, and the clear anxiety surrounding their writer, Isaac Wood, it’s not surprising that some of them would end up changing, as he might regret putting that much out there, or be ashamed of how people pick songs apart for meaning nowadays. I don’t really want to be that guy, seeing as the lyrics were changed for a reason, but I only know the difference for the fourth track, and I do want to discuss that because it mostly just hammers the point in.

Anyway.

Athens, France is one of the album’s quieter tracks, spending a long time in this very low mood, carried by the lyricism that somehow manages to be quite literal and word-salady at the same time. The track has builds, but the air is let out of them relatively quick every time, with this just depressed sort of tone. The guitars aren’t as layered, the brass is quieter, you get the idea. For that reason, it’s one of my less liked songs on the album- not because I don’t think it’s good, but because that’s generally not what I’m looking for when it comes to proggy/experimental music.

We move on now to Science Fair, a track that starts on this almost menacing percussion that doesn’t let up throughout the whole song. It stays on this disquieting instrumentation for such a long while, as the lyrics make the song sound like a mental breakdown in progress, as the guitar gets louder and more distorted, as the brass comes in and just starts losing its mind getting faster and faster and faster and it sounds almost like a horror soundtrack and-

Then there’s, uh, a synth? The track gives you this chance to breathe as the second verse comes in, and it’s a much needed one. Especially as the same effect is effectively happening in said verse, but with additional elements added in, music swelling to this insane peak as Isaac is flat-out yelling. The climax of the track is just this incredible, cathartic release, one that is as harrowing as it is satisfying. The tenseness from the rest of the track is blown through, bubbling over as the lyrics have completed their mental breakdown and our perspective character is getting the fuck out of dodge.

I worry that my commentary on these songs is simultaneously too objective and too literal. This is not something I’m really good at, I’m not sure how to get my opinions in here, especially when it’s a track like this- one that on paper sounds kind of upsetting, but is genuinely really cool and I like it a lot. There’s someone in the youtube comments for the music video comparing this track to the Tunnel Boat Ride from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and I find it quite hard to disagree with them.

Anxiety in music represented this way is not something that’s for everyone. I think the best comparison here is to You Won’t Get What You Want, an album I’ve [discussed previously], and found similarly hard to convey. These songs are patently excellent, and I love them, and they’re a form of music I think needs to exist, but considering their nature and how intense they can end up, I totally understand not wanting to hear it. They’re a lot, both sonically and emotionally, and that’s an easy turn-off for people.

Track 4 is Sunglasses, the one I know the difference between album and single the best (as in, I know it at all). The instrumental of the single version is rougher, and the intro’s about a minute shorter (not that that tends to make a difference in a track this long), but the album version’s lyrics are significantly toned down.

I’m going to get this out of the way, in part because this is actually my favourite song on this album. The lyrics on this are still incredibly revealing, even as “nerfed” as they are- the song is very much about feeling protected, comfortable even, behind a pair of sunglasses, hiding his gaze as he’s attempting to escape his relationship with a rich girl, one that was set up in Athens, France and Science Fair. The bit that is less clear with the rewrite is the abusive nature of the relationship- the line “leave your Sertraline in the cabinet” is kind of left abandoned as a result. I’ll let you seek that version out if you want the gory details, I suppose.

Sunglasses is pretty clearly divided into two sections. The first is the very calm, almost tragic tale of getting lost in this relationship as it falls apart, with these little lines that sound almost beautiful behind all the angst and pain- like reminiscing about what could be. This section is driven away by the intensifying instrumentation, with the beat eventually slowing to a crawl and falling apart completely and eventually neatly dividing the track.

The second section is the most intense portion of the entire album, I think. The lyrics are barely controlled panic at best, the instrumentation slowly building once again towards this explosive verse. The vocal performance for this part of the song shows such an utter emotional rawness that it’s hard not to get mesmerised by its power, even as the lyrics don’t make a huge amount of sense at first. Seriously, hearing “Leave Kanye out of this!” and realising how much it sounds like an actual argument somebody was having transplanted directly into lyrics was kind of a trip.

I don’t know how to explain it, but I just love this track. There’s so much pure energy and emotion laden into it, the two sides of this relationship crumbling down, the nostalgia and frustration and the anger and anxiety. It’s a lot, but its great.

The fifth song is Track X, possibly the softest song on the album. There’s a current of tension carried by the violin in the background, though the chill guitar and almost bubbly saxophone keeps the mood relatively lighter. It’s more relaxing, it’s got background vocals going oooooooh, it feels much looser.

As a result, I don’t have as much to say about it. I think this track is much easier listening than anything else the album has to offer, which is reflected in its much higher spotify listen count, but it means I have less room for it in my heart. When I’m listening to an album like this, I really want to be in to it, to feel it- and it’s kinda harder to do that with this sort of song.

The final track is the similarly mysteriously named Opus, the track with perhaps the most Prog Energy going into it. There’s fast looping guitar lines, elements coming and going, and some serious time signature shifts. This is the track that’s most like, say, a Thank You Scientist track- wait have I not talked about those guys on this blog yet? How the fuck.

Opus is a mix of fast, chaotic instrumental sections and extremely deliberate and dreary lyric parts. Lyrically, it’s the closest thing to catharsis the album gives- an acknowledgement that it’s all over, tinged with the regret of writing about these emotions in the sudden hit songs- after all, that means he’s having to relive them on stage every single time.

The catharsis does somewhat carry over to the instrumental, I feel. The drawn out, staircase-like brass feels like the album coming to its final rest. Of course, there’s a bridge in the way of that actually happening. The wailing and repetition of the final lines feels like this breakdown finally ending, the whole thing coming to a frustrating close. The things this album is about don’t fade so quickly, as the final notes of the song imply- it’s still there, softly creeping, waiting to build up and explode again, when you least expect it.

Uhh that’s everything I guess. Album’s great. I’m sure I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said before by a smarter person, but For the First Time is an incredible piece of work for such a new group to put together, let alone the sheer weight of its emotion. I frankly don’t know how they could follow this up, because nobody makes this kind of album twice. Even if you somehow can bring this kind of power and pain to bear a second time, there’s absolutely no universe where that’s a healthy thing for you to do.

So I’m excited to see where Black Country, New Road goes from here. I can only hope it’s as good, but anything remotely approaching this level of quality would still be a successful work, in my opinion. It is ultimately still a niche within a niche, but it’s managed to catch enough critical acclaim to grow beyond that, so maybe…just maybe.

God okay next time I should talk about a lighter album. 9 Radiohead albums and then this? I should find something happier to talk about next week.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: The Top 10 Fight Scenes of 2020 According to YOU!

  One of the defining features of anime as a medium are the fight scenes. From their diversity of visuals and dramatic staging to their use in narrative development to the off-the-wall powers and techniques their characters employ. Watching weightless CG battles in superhero flicks, it’s hard not to feel like Hollywood is decades behind. Let’s fix that by letting YOU decide who gets some accolades.

  If you’ve read this article’s companion pieces on 2020’s OPs and EDs you know the drill. What follows is a list of the Top 10 fight scenes of 2020 as determined by viewership on the Crunchyroll Collection YouTube channel, weighted at 30 days so anime from earlier in the year don’t get an advantage and to balance flash-in-the-pan popularity vs iconic moments that will continue on in the fandom’s consciousness. It’s not a perfect metric but I’ve gotta say, the results do show some great taste ...

  10. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? - Ais vs Asterius

    Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? has always been measured with its action, honing its greatest moments into dramatic peaks, so it was great we were able to finish 2020 with not only some of its biggest battles, but Ais finally stepping on the gas for the first time on television since 2017 by battling the legendary minotaur Asterius. Ais didn’t disappoint, as she shouldn’t with her place at the very top of the adventuring world and an unreachable ideal Bell aspires to. Also, opening the fight by shearing off her opponent’s arm may be the most brutal kickoff to a Danmachi fight we’ve seen yet. This battle topped 500k in its first 30 days and I’m confident will make a lasting impression.

  9. Tsugumomo2 - Kazuya vs Kyouka

    Tsugumomo’s second season delivered some absolutely huge battles, but I gotta say I’m surprised the top fight wasn’t Kanaka terrorizing the entire cast of the series with their hunt for blood. That said, Kazuya’s battle against Kyouka had some spectacular effects, a few creative obi adaptations, a divine possession, and a shorted punch to secure the victory so it had all the primary features that make Tsugumomo fights great … And for fans of the series, yes it also had that … This fight drew 600k views in its first 30 days to secure its spot on the list.

  8. A Certain Scientific Railgun T - Level 6 Mikasa vs Touma and Sogiita

    A Certain Magical Index and its various spinoffs have a penchant for going completely off the rails very quickly. This fight in spinoff A Certain Scientific Railgun T is every bit as absurd. Mikasa is pushed into Level 6, giving her godlike power and sending her into a berserk state that only Touma’s magic destroying hand can take down. We also get a guest appearance from one of the series' best side characters in Sogiita whose ability to literally turn guts into power is impossible not to love. 

  Basically, the fight was amazing, Mikasa’s Level 6 form and its absurd power were wonderfully adapted by JC Staff and Touma and Sogiita showed off some amazing combo attacks to prevents the destruction of the city. In particular, Sogiita’s “Super Amazing” punch and princess carrying Touma drew 700k viewers in its first 30 days.

  7. Golden Kamuy - The Stenka

    The most common phrase I hear from Golden Kamuy fans is that the series is underappreciated and, as a Golden Kamuy fan, I’m inclined to agree. This series is so violent, I’m constantly surprised by what it gets away with. I’m hard-pressed to think of another series that has aired in the past five years with the same level of brutality. Basically, I’m saying I’m overjoyed to see Golden Kamuy made the list, even if it's from one of its most tame battles that is simply a no-holds-barred free-for-all where everyone gets their nose broken by a berserk Sugimoto. 

  Might have been the JoJo's reference (not really) but this battle got 700k views in 30 days and just barely beat out Railgun T by ~1k views.

  6. JUJUTSU KAISEN - Gojo vs Sukuna

    Another series I’m unsurprised to see on the list but with an unexpected battle. I would have imagined Gojo’s battle against Jogo might have drawn more attention, or perhaps more recently, Itadori’s battle with Mahito. This clip does make sense after a fashion. It was a breakout moment where MAPPA showed they really meant business adapting JUJUTSU KAISEN and the fight was between two characters that have become fan favorites. 

  Definitely, a defining moment that pulled in double the seventh placer's views at 1.4 million in its first 30 days! Since JUJUTSU KAISEN is still attracting new fans and already topping popularity lists, I imagine it would have been even higher given a bit more time in 2020. Gojo vs Sukuna has continued its upward climb to almost 3 million views, putting it only a few days away from claiming the Number 4 spot in lifetime views. Not bad for an anime in the year's final quarter!

  5. Boruto - Sarada vs Sakura

    BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS has delivered spectacularly animated battles for just about its entire run that prove this anime is no afterthought to the Naruto franchise. Despite a wide selection of quality battles that dropped in 2020, I must admit I knew this one would be at the top. What self-respecting Naruto fan wouldn’t be interested in seeing a less-than-friendly mother/daughter slugfest between Sarada and Sakura? Although theoretically a training match to help Sarada develop her Sharingan, the amount of destruction makes it clear that one wrong move and even Sakura’s medical Jutsu would have trouble putting either of them back together again.

  The Uchiha family battle secured its place with 1.5 million views in its first 30 days. Sarada's family moments, even the ones without fighting, are always winners and Sarada vs Sakura is the third youngest clip on the list so I'm guessing this one is going to withstand the test of time.

  4. One Piece - Zoro vs Hitokiri Kamazo

    One Piece has been on a tear since the beginning of its much-anticipated Wano Kuni arc. Even after delivering a huge battle between Luffy and Katakuri at the end of Whole Cake, there has been a notable bump in the frequency and quality of standout animation in the long-running series, which is great to see since the Wano arc is a series of back-to-back skirmishes that can be elevated by some explosive visuals. 

  No moment this year stands out more in my memory than Zoro’s battle against Hitokiri Kamazo and it seems the fans agree. Zoro borrowing his enemy’s weapon to pull off an amazingly animated Purgatory Onigiri may be one of the coolest sequences in One Piece’s almost 1,000-episode long run. This moment also got 1.5 million views in 30 days, narrowing beating Boruto by about 13k views.

  3. Black Clover - Everyone vs The Devil

    Black Clover has grown as a production to develop a unique visual style for magic-heavy battles and really deliver some hugely impressive battles. It’s ramp up hit a peak in 2019 with the battle between Julius and Licht and it’s been riding high ever since. The top fight of 2020 is an obvious one, as the climactic moment of the series' insanely escalating arc kicked off by Julius and Licht’s battle. It seems like half the cast piled into Hell to take on the unnamed devil and his overpowered word soul magic. To be honest I was surprised the series kept going at all after a moment this climactic (I’m not complaining though).

  The final attack of this battle drew 1.6 million views in its first 30 days and now sits proudly in the Number 2 spot for lifetime views on this list at over 5.5 million!

  2. The God of High School - Jin vs Jaegal

    With its sheer number of lovingly animated battles, The God of High School was a shoo-in for this list and might represent 50 percent or more of its total entries if I hadn’t limited it to one entry per series. Jin vs Jaegal is a natural choice, as the climactic battle of the fast-paced fighting series which delivered on the much-anticipated reveal of Jin Mori’s charyeok. This one really put the god in the high school, jumping far past One Piece to pull 2.1 million views in its first month.

  1. My Hero Academia - Endeavor vs Special Nomu

    My Hero Academia had a huge climactic battle to cap off the winter season, so I gotta say I’m surprised to see it’s the other one that secured the top spot as the Number 1 battle of 2020. Deku vs Overhaul was a huge moment for the series and definitely sits in the upper half of this list, if not the Number 2 spot — but something about Endeavor fighting a Nomu really pulled in a crowd, even putting the clip on YouTube’s trending list. It continues to creep upward at 7.5 million views. One of the most-watched moments of the entire year!

  On reflection moments that show a theoretical power ceiling of a series are always impactful, such as Orochimaru’s battle with Sarutobi or even My Hero Academia’s own battle between All Might and All for One. Endeavor definitely pulled out the guns for this battle to leave an impression before the long wait until the next season ... Or maybe it was just because he said “plus ultra?” Regardless, Endeavor blasted past even the Number 2 spot on this list at 3.7 million views in its first 30 days.

  Those were the best battles of 2020 according to you and, consequently, the last of this series of Top 10 lists. When it comes to fights there’s a lot more to look forward to in 2021. Boruto, Black Clover, and One Piece have all been building toward their current arcs' big conflicts and each seems primed to pull the trigger early next year. If that weren’t enough JUJUTSU KAISEN is about to kick off its school event and MHA is set to make its return.

  That does it for 2020. Hope to see you all at the same time next year.

  If you feel the fandom has missed a great moment, feel free to share it in the comments below!

      Peter Fobian is an Associate Producer at Crunchyroll, writer for Anime Academy and Anime in America, and an editor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Peter Fobian

[jacksgreysays]

Determined Clairvoyant, Misguided Knight brainstorm, (2020-05-29)

A/N: So I had a weird sleepless brainstorming/outlining binge last night, passed out and woke up to this chunk of nonsense...

I’ve been reading a lot of DCMK (Detective Conan and Magic Kaito) fic but also I am always a little bit thinking of DoS so my brain went:

Hey, Shisui and Shikako have very similar personalities to Kaito and Shinichi...

But Shisui is the detective and Shikako the thief.

And on the one hand, I was considering just translating it into the in Friendship Is A (Mutual) Con 'verse, such that Shisui is Interpol/FBI and ends up helping the crew because what they do is morally right even if it's not legal...

But it just wouldn’t be the same!

Also, for those who don’t know anything about DCMK, I’m not really using the Detective Conan premise (in which a famous teenage detective gets shrunken into a 6 year old and has to keep his identity secret while finding/dismantling the criminal organization that did this to him. In their defense(?) they were trying to kill him but used an “experimental poison.” They’re not going out of their way to randomly turn teenagers into kids... although there is another teenager that got turned into a kid by that same poison) 

But it is interconnected to the Magic Kaito ‘verse (in which a teenager discovers that his dad didn’t die in an accident but was murdered by a mysterious criminal organization (possibly the same one as in Detective Conan? we’re not sure) because he used to be Phantom Thief KID who was searching for a magical jewel called Pandora that supposedly grants immortality because said mysterious criminal organization wants it for nefarious means. Also the teen and his dad are stage magicians and make their heists very flashy and fun)

Anyway, personality wise I was really feeling the Shikako = paranoid/logical Shinichi vs Shisui = flamboyant genius Kaito contrasting with their arguable respective roles as Shikako = chaotic neutral regular rule breaker and Shisui = lawful good believer of systems if not authority.

I was considering whether or not I wanted to transplant the characters into the DCMK setting, but seeing how that’s just (arguably) modern day Japan I was a little... the adapting would be more work than its worth when really all I wanted was thief!Shikako and detective!Shisui and I also, as previously mentioned, didn’t want to just insert Shisui into the Fia(M)C ‘verse.

So then I remembered this ficlet in which Danzo successfully became Hokage but a mysterious figure (ie Shikako) is working against him and I was like. Okay, but reluctant detective!Shisui having to try to capture insurrectionist thief!Shikako is hilarious. And I know Shisui isn’t actually KMP in canon, but Danzo is Hokage which means the situation is bleak and I kinda explain everything below anyway, so...

Enjoy?

~

shisui is one of the oldest uchiha in the village because everyone older than him was executed by danzo for their (supposed?) attempted coup

doesn't particularly want to be a detective, but he's the only one left

sharp-eyed shisui? it is both mocking his singular eye but also he does end up being pretty good at investigation

Itachi is clan head and also one of danzo’s busiest anbu (because danzo is creepy and weird) and he’s being run so ragged that shisui stepped up to do it since he vaguely remembers the KMP’s protocols and also, with one eye short, his combat effectiveness isn’t as reliable

He hates not being able to be back up for itachi, but until he figures out the depth perception thing, he’d be a liability

Itachi is the only one with both eyes (again, because danzo is creepy and weird)

every time one of his younger cousins activate their sharingan, they are forced to undergo surgery because danzo harvests one eye from each of them

sasuke is the next upcoming kid

hikaku/sai was the most recent

Shikako is working reverse chronologically to restore eyeballs because they’re not exactly labeled but she knows the newest eye goes to the most recent activator.

This is how she gets hikaku/sai’s immediate loyalty (he has both eyes, but still hides one under his eyepatch/headband because if you can’t passive aggressively use danzo’s tricks against him then what’s the point? )

((also, it’s a real good dramatic reveal of how shikako gets shisui to trust her because he’s like “you’re stealing my family’s eyeballs and turning my little cousin into your spy” and then hikaku/sai just flips up his eyepatch and blinks both eyes at shisui and he just. “well, that was literally the only argument i had”))

Oh, the age of graduation is lower in canon because danzo doesn’t believe in coddling kids and also “back in my day” nonsense, so sasuke is maybe around 8?

kakashi is, like, a weird sticking point. he's the only non-danzo adult that has a sharingan and, hey, he's also only got just the one, but shisui also remembers the elders being a little weird about him so :shrugs:

I should figure out what to do with him, tbh

i mean, i know Shikako helps Naruto escape/evade ANBU capture because Danzo was going to turn him into a “proper jinchuuriki weapon” so maybe she throws him at Kakashi and is like “BABY SITTING DUTY FOR YOU, SAD STRING BEAN”

and there’s also Tenzo/Yamato to consider here

at first the thefts are random but escalating: old mission reports, the sandaime's novelty(?) crystal ball, the hokage's hat, the sword of the thunder god, etc, etc

then it becomes directed: sharingan eyes

Shadow Thief Shikako is here to make things real difficult for danzo

while shisui is trying really hard not to get smitten (even though she’s stealing his family’s eyeballs! but he guesses better than in danzo’s possession? he’s very conflicted emotionally and very stressed and also a teenager), shikako is recruiting allies for her coup

She needs to make a deal with the devil… Kabuto? For the medical expertise in how to re-implant all the sharingan she’s stealing?

He does spy on behalf of who he thinks is the strongest, and shikako is v strong by this point

Although, the whole concept of “you were the first person i ever wanted to murder” “you flatter me” is kind of funny

What is going on with orochimaru in this timeline?

For that matter, what’s going on with the other sannin?

hyuuga have weird feelings about the whole one eye stolen thing, branch family in particular because on the one hand: DOJUTSU/BLOODLINE THEFT is literally their big nono. But they do like being the strongest clan in the village now.

Is neji’s dad still alive? When did danzo become hokage? Is it before or after Hinata’s near kidnapping?

Ibiki, anko, aoba -- gotta figure out what’s going on there

Does aoba not have the crow summons since shisui is still alive?

Is aoba a surprise half uchiha?

Unsure how bleak i want things to be for the Nara clan. They definitely don’t like things, but i’m not sure if they’re also largely killed off, just shikaku, or just yoshino…… unless Shikamaru has been taken as Danzo’s apprentice/ROOT?

Something also has to have happened to the akimichi and yamanaka tho, in order to justify/reflect it

Team 10 is essentially being held hostage. Shikako has to “steal” them from Danzo in order to get the ANY clans’ cooperation

they’re allowed to visit their family once a week in order to get clan training, but it’s on different days from each other so the other two are still within ROOT’s grasp and the one who is visiting their family knows not to step out of line

Shikamaru has been trying really hard to help him and his teammates escape, but he’s only eight years old. I’m but a boy. I’m just a boy

There is a war.

I’ve decided this.

It’s the only way to make sense of why danzo is still in charge without him having killed a ludicrous number of people (more than he’s already killed, that is)

There is a war and that’s where the majority of the loudest dissenters are sent (inuzuka, aburame, gai, etc) and because they are always out on the front lines they don’t know how bad it actually is at home

Mist rebellion peeps?

Zabuza and Haku are still alive at this time, i guess

Terumi Mei--is there even a mist rebellion at this time or are they too busy with the war, too?

… Gelel/Sand?

look, magical gems are the crux of Magic Kaito and I know I’ve replaced them with Sharingan eyes, but still. If there’s a magical gem I feel like I’m obligated to at least mention it

also, Shinichi in Detective Conan ends up with, like, the most ludicrous allies over the course of the series. He is a--as far as anyone else knows--a 6 year old Japanese boy with connections to the American FBI. That’s nuts! So Shikako having allies with Mist or Sand isn’t too far outside feasibility in comparison

~

A/N: So... in theory I would like to come back to this and actually write it--because as far as sleepless brainstorming sessions go, this one is fairly coherent--but just in case I don’t, I figure people would enjoy this mess of an outline anyway. And it’s nice to have notes for later.

Title is, unsurprisingly, my attempt to make the letters DCMK apply to Shikako and Shisui. On the one hand, I know the quote is “and angry Aburame, a focused Inuzuka, and a motivated Nara” but I kiiiinda misremembered wrong and thought it was “determined,” fell in love with Shisui as the “misguided knight” and then only after went back to check and realized that it should’ve been “motivated”

Ah well

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 20 of 26

Title: Wolf by Wolf (Wolf by Wolf #1) (2015)

Author: Ryan Graudin

Genre/Tags: Alternate History, Historical Fiction, Dystopian, Science Fiction (...ish?), Young Adult, Third Person, Female Protagonist, Duology

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 7/12/2020

Date Finished: 7/18/2020

In an alternate 1956, the Axis powers of the Third Reich and Imperial Japan won World War II. They host an annual motorcycle competition known as the Axis Tour, in which young people from both powers race across Europe and Asia. Yael, a death camp survivor with the ability to skinshift due to Nazi medical experiments, poses as Adele Wolfe, Germany’s only female competitor. Her goal? To win the race, get a private dance with Hitler, and assassinate him for the world to see.

But years of training and preparation are thrown off balance when Adele’s past relationships come back to haunt Yael in the form of her twin brother Felix Wolfe, and the presence of Luka Lowe, a fellow competitor and former victor, both of whom have complicated, unknown histories with Adele. Now Yael must keep up the charade while still assuring her victory in a difficult and deadly inter-continental race. 

Who are you? (On the inside?) 

The answer to this question was something Yael had to fight for. Her self-reflection was no reflection at all. It was a shattered mirror. Something she had to piece together, over and over again. Memory by memory. Loss by loss. Wolf by wolf. 

Minor spoilers under the cut. 

Wolf by Wolf was a surprise; I did not expect to like it nearly as much as I did. While it has a fascinating premise, it's certainly complicated enough to mess up. Alternate history, especially World War II, can be sketchy if not done well. Add in some science fiction elements, and I was skeptical. But while Wolf by Wolf isn't perfect, Graudin does pull it off rather well, and it was thoroughly enjoyable to read. She states in her author’s note that, with the troubling rise of alt-right movements in recent years, books that examine the true horrors and implications of Nazi ideology are important, and something like this could have very well been our world. I find myself agreeing, and I think she treats the subject with both the delicacy and brutal honesty it requires. 

The novel’s inherent suspense is excellent. Wolf by Wolf has all the appeal of a spy novel with an extra layer that comes with the skinshifting aspect. All of Yael's interactions with the other leads (Felix and Luka) mean they genuinely think she's Adele, and it's interesting to see how Yael struggles to play the part. There's a lot of tense moments where she says or does something that Adele wouldn't, and she has to use her wits to get through it. I like the "becoming the mask" trope and it's in play here as Yael finds herself becoming attached to the other characters. The inherently fantastical element of skinshifting does protect her, as almost no one would guess it's why Adele is acting odd, so the fact she's able to keep up the ruse despite everything does make sense. That being said, I would have loved to see someone, especially one of the two male leads, figure it out. I spent the novel wondering how a scene like that would play out, and was disappointed it doesn't happen. There are certainly multiple teasing fake-outs. Presumably this will be A Thing in the next book, but it's still something I wish had paid off here rather than consigning it to the sequel. Semi-related, I found the ending twist and callback pretty interesting, and it has some fascinating implications for said sequel. I guess we'll see what Graudin does with all this material. 

Probably the strongest aspect of the novel for me, personally, is how the book balances flashbacks. I think Graudin does a fantastic job (with some exceptions) doling out information, and gradually revealing Yael's backstory and pain points. Unsurprisingly, her past is heart-wrenching in a variety of ways. The part where her mother doesn't recognize her and the scene with Vlad and the numbers hit me especially hard. It's satisfying when the full implications of a symbol or line of dialogue aren't revealed until much later in the story. For example, the wolf tattoos are introduced early (literally the second chapter) but the emotional payoff is gradual, and I think that strengthens the impact. The pacing in general is really well done-- slow when it needs to be, and action-packed at other times. This is something I struggle with even in books I adore, so I’m really impressed with how this book handles it. 

YA gets a bad (often undeserved) rap, and I adore the genre when it's done right. Unfortunately many YA novels fall into trends and tropes that just get annoying after a while, so I find I have to be selective. For the most part Wolf by Wolf avoids these. Yael is a distinct, interesting character who avoids typical YA protagonist cliches. Her tragic past is all the more poignant for being something real people faced (albeit with creative liberties), and her struggles with identity are extra compelling. That being said, I didn't find the romantic subplot with Luka very interesting. I think there's supposed to be some narrative tension where he seems to be a bad guy but has Hidden Depths etc etc... but it was so painfully obvious that I guessed his entire arc based on the first scene. I think there's some potential considering the Yael/Adele dichotomy, but again, it doesn't really pay off in Wolf by Wolf, which is a disappointment. The few romance scenes just take away from the more interesting base story. From what I can tell we get more of Luka’s backstory and perspective in Blood for Blood, so... fingers crossed that I can appreciate him more in retrospect? In general I found Yael’s interactions with Felix more interesting and genuine.        

As for the writing itself, I'm torn. This novel makes heavy use of symbols, and consistently incorporates them into the prose. Usually, this is done to great effect, and there are plenty of excellent poetic and introspective passages. There's also stylistic elements such as heavy repetition and an occasionally-bolded INTERNAL MONOLOGUE. I also noted a lot of dramatic irony and narrative callbacks, which always hit with a punch. When these aspects are done well, it's great. But sometimes Graudin just doesn't seem to trust her readers. There are multiple incidents where the story REALLY wants you to know that X Symbol Means Y Thing and accomplishes this by... just telling you. There's also some clumsy expository dialogue that's jarring to read (very much "as you well know, this thing is true"). These may be in the minority, but are especially noticeable because the rest of the book is subtle about it. No idea why some parts are just like that, and this might be a nitpick, but it really bothers me. Young adults aren't stupid, and it's annoying when YA novels assume they need their hand held. As I said, it only happens a few times, and I am willing to look past it considering the other strengths of the novel.

Wolf by Wolf has its faults, but overall I had a great time reading it. The ending has some fascinating implications, so I'm interested to see what happens in Blood for Blood. From the brief preview at the end, it looks like we get more backstory for Luka and Felix, which I think might smooth over some of my criticisms depending on how it’s handled. I guess we'll see! 

[masumaimuna]

8 Ways To Increase Thinking Capacity Of Your Brain

8 Ways To Increase Thinking Capacity Of Your Brain

By Patrick Banks

•Posted 1 year ago•GROWTH

George Bernard once said, “Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.” Scientifically, this is technically impossible but morally then we can be quick to judge.

Perhaps the most complicated and greatest asset a human being can have is the processing power between your ears. This in mind, investing in this supercomputer is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Amazingly, scientists think that the average humans only use 10% of their brain! Very few of us take time or allocate resources to train our brains. Neuroscientists believe that we are stuck with the same brain we were born with!

The good news is that you don’t need to be a billionaire to improve memory or your thinking capacity. Think of your brain as a muscle that needs to be exercised.  All you need to do is dedicate some few minutes every day to do some exercises.

Here are 8 easy ways you can increase your brain power and improve your thinking capacity

1. Exercise regularly

Just as you take time to do some physical exercises, you should allocate time to do some mind exercises. Mind exercises improve mind fitness just the same way physical exercises improves physical fitness. Neurologists have proven that regular exercises of the brain enhances brain functioning and improves neurogenesis. Physical exercises have also been linked to the formation of new brain cells and thus you should stay physically active too.

2. Train your memory

If you don’t use your brain, it will stagnate. If you want your dog to be a better fetcher, you must train or get it trained to fetch. Likewise, if you need you brain to be better; you must train your mind to retain memory. Discipline yourself to memorize phone numbers and other essential numbers (passport, credit card, insurance, driving license). The more you add to your brain, the more you expand its capacity!

3. Question facts and think positive

Don’t take everything at face value. Develop a habit of questioning everyday things. Ask yourself the “what if questions”. What if we didn’t invent the wheel? What if the continents moved? By being curious, you train your mind to be innovative and develop ideas. They say curiosity killed the cat, but they don’t tell you that the same curiosity created electricity.

Neuroscientists, have linked anxiety and stress to the killing of brain neurons and also hamper new neurons being created. Psychologist have found out that positive thinking, especially in the future, boosts the production of new cells and dramatically controls stress and reduces anxiety.

Free your mind from anything which is not right here and right now. Staying mindful and in a present REALITY is the healthiest thing you can do to your brain. I don’t mean the virtual reality or social media reality but the REAL reality.

As a result, you stop expecting too much from other people, which gives you the chance to truly enjoy their company and spend some quality time together. It also leads to finding contentment and peace. Happiness, after all, can’t be found anywhere else, but in the present. So without trying to make things perfect, to change anything about the current situation, or to wish for something that sounds better, you can enjoy what is by truly accepting it.

5. Nourish your brain with a healthy diet

The food you eat is, without doubt, a big contribution to proper brain functioning. The human brain consumes over 20% of all the oxygen and nutrients that we consume! Feed your brain with good stuff like fresh fruit and vegetables and plenty of Omega 3 oils. You can read more about how to boost your brain health with Mediterranean diet.

6. Read! Read! Read!

Reading not only relieves tension and stress to the brain-cells but it also gives you another perspective on things. Books are the best way to grow your brain and expand your thinking, but social media and magazines are a good source of humor and everything that can’t fit into a book. Reading is the best way to train your brain and expand your thinking. Read books which are not only fun but also expand your knowledge. Check out our selection of top must read science books.

7. Get enough sleep

Sleeps is the reset button for the brain. When you sleep, your body regenerates brain cells and does all the maintenance work on both your body and your brain. A daily dose of 4-6 hours of sleep every night has proven the best way to improve thinking and create new ideas and innovations.

Mindfulness meditation before falling asleep can be really helpful. Close your eyes and ignore everything around you. Imagine you’re at a peaceful place. Breathe deeply and empty your mind. Focus on your breathing for a while until you relax your body and mind.

Know you’ve done your best for the day, and that tomorrow comes with many new opportunities. Be positive about what’s to come. If these are the last thoughts in your head before you fall asleep, then you’ll be in peace and won’t have nightmares.

Once you’ve slept enough and sound, be sure that tomorrow morning you’ll not only kickstart the day, but be super productive, present for the whole day and in a pretty good mood and able to focus effortlessly.

7. Eliminate Errors in Thinking

It is important to know the psychological side of thinking. Your brain prowess aside, we all make thinking errors. There are five different errors that psychologists have identified;    Partialism, Adversary Thinking, Time Scale Error, Initial Judgment and arrogance and Conceit.

Partialism – Errors that occur when the individual observes the problem through ones perspective only. That is, an individual examines only one factor of the problem and most often than not, we arrive at a premature solution.

Adversary Thinking – This is the “you are the one who is wrong and thus I should be right.” type of thinking. Politicians are the masters in this type of thinking and they use it to their advantage.

Time Scale Error – This is a kind of partialism in thinking where the individual sees the problem from a limited time-frame. It can be likened to short-sightedness.

Initial Judgment- Here, the individual becomes very subjective. Instead of considering the issue or problem objectively, the individual approaches it with prejudice or bias.

Arrogance and Conceit- may also be referred to as the “Village Venus Effect” because like country people, who think that the hottest girl in their village is the hottest girl in the world, the thinker believes that there is no better solution other than that he has already found. This blocks creativity.

If you want a shortcut in your efforts in boosting the thinking capacity of your brain…

8. Try Nootropics – the silicon valley secret to enhance brain functioning

Nootropics also known as ‘cognitive enhancers’ are the types of drugs which help in improving cognitive function of the user. This nootropic substance is a typical class of supplements which helps in enhancing memory and brain power. This cognitive supplement has the ability to improve mental abilities, concentration power, motivation, memory power, etc. Many experts are conducting research on this supplement and recommend that it is not wise to consume this cognitive substance until all studies and research are compiled. But with day to day stresses and hectic schedules of your life and with no adverse side effects, nootropic might be the solution which improves both mental and physical power.