#not really but almost

[mitcaelsolo]

Another sketch :D

[opiotes-thoughtvomit]

If I’m not asleep in 30 minutes I’m killing myself fr

[lucdoodle]

thought that one Alastor scene would look cool in comic lettering, so i drew this

[astrowarr]

after watching several povs, there's something so striking about the way mumbo died.

he dies at home, first of all, which is notable in its own right because so much of his time was spent running about, usually in pursuit of kills. he dies with grian, too— to a thing grian created, no less, but it isn't actually grian's fault for once.

mumbo dies in that tall tower and when lightning strikes, from all across the server, everyone looks. their eyes land on that tower, and everyone is watching. even in grian's perspective, you can see everyone at renwood mound, lined up and staring. those at the bamlands looked on too.

they didn't see mumbo die, but they saw grian's grief. grian, who, throughout this season, has seemed cruel and untouchable to those outside of his circle due to his involvement with and knowledge of the wild cards. they watch grian immediately crumble under the weight of mumbo's death; several of them even explicitly comment, "look at grian, he's grieving, he's in mourning."

i like to think that, until that moment, grian was almost god-like in their minds; now, though, he's the quintessential concept of humanity. grief can be religious if you do it right, after all. even beyond the grian aspect though, isn't this just the most despairing omen of what's to come?

i mean, there's something about this image of a man fallen from grace, crying out as he holds the mangled corpse of his friend in the home they made together, high in the sky, on display for all the world to bear witness to. and the world did bear witness, be it with pity, horror, joy... it doesn't matter, because they saw.

the canary curse has been broken, but this was a fittingly foreboding, tone-setting image that did a stunning job filling its shoes

[wings-of-flying]

i came this 🤏 close to telling the interviewer that i wrote fanfiction

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[didhewinkback]

one direction will always be so so so bittersweet to me like they were such a foundation of my teenage years while at the same time those boys were spending most of their days trapped in hotel rooms or waking up at 2 am to record an album and non stop touring and working so much more than anyone let alone a bunch of teenage boys should work and its always been hard to reconcile those two realities especially on a day like today because god when they were good together, they were so good together.

and i just don't think anything like them will ever happen again. 5 boys from basically working class backgrounds thrust into a level of fame the height of which hadn't been seen for decades, all of them becoming the breadwinners of their families before the age of 18. the immense pressure but also the amount of fun they were. the tragedy and joy of it all intertwined. really impossible to put into words

[several-breathing-eyes]

I saw somebody say that watching the Percy Jackson show made them realize that in the first books Percy doesn't even say half the stuff he thinks and he's just a quiet kid silently judging everyone, like they're so right.

Think about it from Grover's perspective. You know Percy as a quiet boy who certainly has his judgy thoughts but (aside from telling them to you) keeps them to himself. He's just trying to make it through school, for his mom.

Then his mom dies. And he loses the ability to give absolutely any fucks. He starts saying all this shit he never said out loud and to people who could do infinitely worse things to him than anything Nancy Bobifit ever even tried. And it only gets worse as he gets older.

Like bro went from quiet kid in the back of the class to fist fighting a god in the span of like a week. Then he openly told the gods to pay their child support. Grover was having heart attacks every other minute.

[reasonsforhope]

Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."

Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.

These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!

Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!

Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.

So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.

[evercelle]

joongdok so far to me. specifically chp 370

[hunxi-after-hours]

"If rest becomes a form of recovery from work, as is the case today, it loses its specific ontological value. It no longer represents an independent, higher form of existence and degenerates into a derivative of work. Today's compulsion of production perpetuates work and thus eliminates that sacred silence. Life becomes entirely profane, desecrated."

—Han Byung-Chul, The Disappearance of Rituals (trans. Daniel Steuer)

[chloesimaginationthings]

Gregory fears FNAF DJ music man...Abby does not

[heartorbit]

if we could stay connected, just like this

[eyes-of-nine]

pls assume i'm thinking about this moment 24/7 all week every week

[danielcalmdown]

The day after the tribunal

[otselotus]

day 2: machine parental touch okay i am a bit late maybe there's something something grian missing mumbo so much that he visits half-working grumbot to see glimpses of mumbo in him something something grumbot missing his parents more than a machine ever could something something about them not being able to say it out loud and something something about wanting a hug I guess