#not really all that fun. making a tournament when you know what the winner will be

[multishipper-baby]

I said that I'd leave it up to vote over what character I'd do a full shipping tournament, and I will, but if it were up to me... It'd be Deuz. I have so many fucking Deuz rarepairs that nobody gives and shit about and I'd love for people to think about them for two minutes at least.

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Now for the final round!

@hellsitegenetics

I love them

I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.

it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!

so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches

perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for

It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!

Creatures 👍

Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite

Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.

I love them. English speakers talk like moths

If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!

They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!

uhh it’s cool

BLAST

There are so many weird bugs in the world

Yippee!!

If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.

Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH

Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie

the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise

This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.

If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3

@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature

what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?

sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks

Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021

Arson is so much more fun

It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament

you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service

always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'

the goat account is peak gimmick blog

If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements

Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!

goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting

I wanna see things burn

the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays

watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it

the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.

Please guys bite gavlebocken

Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?

sacred anti-corporate arson

a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!

pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for

the goat is the GOAT

HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON

the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them

they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news

let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you

nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win

doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Rosemary Clooney (White Christmas)—Rosemary!!! Her singing voice is incredible, she looks stunning in everything she wears, she has this quiet gravitas on screen that I haven’t seen anywhere else!! She deserves to be known as a lot more than George Clooney’s Aunt (if anything, I think of him as Rosemary Clooney’s nephew who also went into the business). Also when she got older she had this amazing sexy raspy voice (which sadly was due to smoking a lot but doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s very very sexy)

Kalina Jędrusik (Upał, The Doll, The Cure for Love)—She was a singer too and one of her songs is literally about how "there is sex in me"

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Rosemary:

Rosemary Clooney made very few movies, and built her career mostly as a singer--however, anyone who has ever seen her in White Christmas understands that this was Hollywood's loss, because she exudes glamour and charm and does a wonderful job acting it as well. She's gorgeous, she has a beautiful voice, she has one of those faces that the screen just loves, and she is, frankly, hot as hell.

Okay so obviously she's more a singer than an actress, but she was still one of the best musical actresses of the era! They just didn't know what to do with her. She really wasn't a dancer at all, so you'll see most of the numbers in White Christmas she's got a convenient prop to sweep around. However, this ~weakness brought about a love story for the ages! Dante Di Paulo (you may know him as the mustachioed townie rival to the Pontipees in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) was hired to teach her to dance and they fell in love over rehearsals. Separated by filming schedules, Rosemary ended up marrying José Ferrer and breaking Dante's heart, but 20 years and two divorces from José later they met in traffic. Not about to miss her second chance, she honked her horn and yelled her phone number at him (talk about carpe diem). He moved in a couple of months later but they finally made it official in 1997 because "our grandchildren want us to get married". They were utterly devoted to each other and he was very much a Wife Guy.

An absolutely amazing singer and so stunning. Her performance in that black dress in White Christmas just takes my breath away every time. She's also George Clooney's aunt.

when she. when she. 'love you didnt do right by me' from white christmas-

She was a very cool woman, who had a very hard life. She had severe mental health struggles throughout her life and left the stage for quite a while, but fought hard to make her career comeback later in life with a little timely help from good friend and frequent collaborator Bing Crosby. She also duetted with Marlene Dietrich early in her career

She was very funny and very civic-minded, she campaigned with RFK during his presidential run. She had a very close bond with her nephew (that George Clooney yes), he even had her songs on the playlist when he proposed to his wife! She didn't enjoy singing this song from White Christmas, as it wasn't quite in her range, but she's incredibly powerful and undoubtedly very hot in this scene (fun fact, oscar winner George Chakiris is one of her dancers here, before his big break!) -

Kalina:

[mcytblrsexymen]

How the Sexyman Bracket Will Work

AKA, oh god, why did you people choose a 96-man seeded single-elimination bracket and what do we do about it?

So, as you all know, originally the plan was for a simple, 64-man bracket. However, we got a wild number of nominations, and after looking at the list ourselves, we didn't want to leave it off at 64 - there were some really interesting people just below the cutoff, and also this way we didn't have to heavily tiebreak, whereas with the 64-man tournament we would have needed to tiebreak for the bottom seed.

After some discussion, we determined that the field was too wide if we went all the way out to 128, and began discussing byes. It was determined we'd go out to 96. How a 96-man bracket works as is follows: the 64 lower-seed players are paired, and will face each other. Then, after the winners of those matches are determined, the top 32 players, who each have a bye, face the winners of the first round. After that, it is structured like a normal tournament. This means there will be two rounds of 64, and that the most popular sexymen will not compete in the first round. So keep an eye out!

This introduces some new advantages to how the bracket will work, as well as lets us pull in a few more of the weird and fun guys you all rallied behind, instead of just the big names! Plus, since this is not a power of 2 and therefore gives the highest seeds a bye, it means those little guys are guaranteed a somewhat closer matchup at the beginning - you don't have to worry your small streamer had to face Scar round one. We save that for round two.

Additionally, why are we doing seeded, as opposed to randomizing the matchups or choosing bespoke matchups? For one, we had easy seeds - the nomination rankings determined where we seeded each nominee. If we already had everyone ranked, may as well use it!

Additionally, we here believe that a seeded tournament leads to the most interesting sexyman matchups, as it is designed to make sure the most exciting matches, between the most evenly-matched players, will be last, as opposed to happening early and then allowing someone to cruise to an easy victory (or be robbed of their chances). It also prevents us from being able to attempt to make our personal favorite guys have an easier time of it, makes sure each side of the bracket is approximately evenly matched, and makes the underdog stories more spectacular when they happen, as those underdogs will have had to have competed in a real battle to win!

So there you have it: the reasoning for why we're using a slightly unusual tournament structure, and what to expect tomorrow when the actual bracket is released.

the TL;DR is: expect a bracket that looks like the below, but much prettier, because we have gotten some help making a more readable version of this!

[image ID: a 96-man bracket. /end ID]

[opultea]

Timaeus Isn’t the Only One

Windbloom with Genshin men ft. Cyno, Albedo

Drabbles - GN Reader (No Pronouns) - Fluff (slightest angst in Albedo’s but ends with fluff) - Romantic - SFW

Part 2 for Cyno

It seems that Timaeus isn’t the only one who's gained a love interest this Windbloom festival…

Cyno

Cyno had several agendas for his trip to Mondstadt. Of course his principal reason was Collei’s protection and accompaniment, though another not so secret motivation added to his decision. How could this reason be anything other than Genius Invokation TCG?

Not only did he have the opportunity to commission a custom card back from the famous Calx, but Cyno would also be able to spend his precious vacation hours playing against folks in Mondstadt’s heart of TCG; the Cat’s Tail.

As soon as Collei had gone off with her local friends to catch up and see the sights, Cyno set off to the Cat’s Tail, his deck in hand, hoping to find some worthy challengers in the renowned tavern. Upon entering, Cyno took no time to tarry, immediately challenging the first person he saw with a deck to a duel. The Mondstadtian man in question was naturally a little shocked to be issued such a sudden challenge, but accepted none the less.

It took all of three minutes for Cyno to beat him. After accumulating three more consecutive wins in the next ten minutes or so, Cyno’s table had gathered quite the crowd. The tavern was ablaze with excitement, many players afraid and in awe of the evident master before them.

It was around this time that you entered the Cat’s Tail, planning to catch up with Margret and maybe stretch your card game muscles with a few rounds of Genius Invokation. What you didn’t expect was a crowd of people surrounding one table, holding their breaths and intently watching a game as if it was a chess tournament.

“Hey Prince, Shuyun, what’s going on? Was there a special event today that I wasn’t aware of?”

Prince meowed in response, Shuyun translating,

“Not exactly, but it seems we have a new house champion. And an outlander, at that.”

“A house champion? Is he really that good?”

“He’s beaten some of our best players in mere minutes. I’d say he has earned such a title.”

You’re gaze swept over the crowd again, hoping to see the illustrious card player between the audience members. The crowd cheered, jumping around and indicating that another game had been won by the champion. As the audience parted slightly for the small celebration, you caught a glimpse of the winner, a man dressed in Sumerian clothing, with a stern face that presently held a small prideful smile.

You turned back to Prince when he nudged your arm with his soft head, watching as he pointed his paw and nudged his head toward the man.

“You know what? Maybe I will Prince,” you took a moment to pat his head, being mindful not to topple his tiny hat, before making your way to the crowded table.

“Would anyone else like a game?” The champion asked the crowd, face still flat, though his eyes shone with a subtle sense of fun.

“I’d love to,” you said, sitting down opposite.

“Excellent, let’s begin.”

The game was long and gruelling, with both sides losing two characters and using almost all their cards before the final round. The audience was impatiently watching, eyeing off each player's determined expression and holding their breaths as you played a final card, allowing you to destroy your opponent's last character with your own on only two health points.

The crowd cheered loudly surprised and excited to see someone beat the incredible stranger.

"You play with great precision and thought in your actions, I willingly accept my defeat."

"Thank you, but it was super close, I think that if my deck had been shuffled a little differently I wouldn't have won,"

"Do not underestimate your own skill. But we can test your theory in another game. I am Cyno, the adventurer."

You introduce yourself accordingly and shake hands to initiate another game. The two of you go back and forth in several more rounds of TCG, each losing and winning in equal ratios. You continue on for so long that the crowd eventually dissipates, you and Cyno the only ones left in the tavern.

Cyno used a final elemental skill, destroying your last character card and ending what was likely the hundredth round. You sighed in satisfaction, it had been a long time since you'd had this much fun playing cards with anyone before. Cyno seemed to share your sentiment, sitting still at the table and not bothering to pack away his deck.

"I would suggest playing another game, but I think the staff want us to leave so they can close," You laugh, slowly packing your dice into a little bag.

"Yes, it seems we are inconveniencing the staff. Although I will be back tomorrow. I hope you will come as well,"

"For sure, I've had so much fun playing against you Cyno. You're really amazing at this game, although I think I might be able to one-up you next time," You tease.

"Well, we will T-see-G." Cyno's usual stoicism did not shift with the uttering of the pun, though it did cause your own head to jerk in a chuckle.

"Pfft. I didn't take you as the kind to make jokes Cyno, but it seems to be a CARDinal part of your personality." You laugh, holding up a random card from your deck.

Cyno felt his subtle smile widen and his heart grow in kind. You laughed at his joke. You even returned it.

"Come have dinner with me."

Your head shot up at the sudden request, mind racing and mouth agape. Did... did this guy just ask you out?! Surely he was just making a request to spend time together platonically, right? You hardly knew each other after all, even though you had great chemistry and shared a lot of interests. Not to mention he was attractive, and his hair looked so silky. Okay now you were just complimenting him.

You know what? Whether Cyno was asking you on a date or just as a friend, you wouldn't mind.

"Sure, that sounds great," You smile.

Tighnari and Collei were beyond surprised when Cyno told them he went on a date the next day.

Albedo

You walked through the main square of Mondstadt, admiring the festive decor and lively atmosphere of the Windbloom season. Strolling past the fountain, you spotted Sucrose and Albedo conversing at the alchemy station. A smile lit up across your features, it has been a while since you’d spoken to the alchemists, especially with how busy they seemed to be recently. Your hopefully secret crush on Albedo also meant that you were always looking for a chance to talk, especially during the festival of love. Deciding to take the opportunity, you walked over to say hello.

“Sucrose, Albedo!” You called, turning the two toward you. “How are you?”

“Y/n, we’ve been well. I hope you can say the same?” Albedo smiled politely.

“Yes, I’ve been well enough. I feel like I’ve barely seen you guys though, have you been busy?”

“Yes, my position as Windbloom ambassador this year has certainly kept me very busy, not to mention this strange prophecy we’ve come across.” Sucrose explained, sounding a little out of breath, but satisfied with her work. “How has your Windbloom been? Is there anything I can do to help make it better?”

“My Windbloom has been just fine, thank you Sucrose. A little too regular, if anything. I hope that with all your work you’re still finding time to enjoy yourself. I would believe that as Windbloom ambassador, it’s most important that you are enjoying the festival. Otherwise, how can you help other people to enjoy it too?”

“An excellent postulate, I too believe that Sucrose’s own happiness will affect her ability to help others with theirs. After all, a gloomy person would not do much to sooth your own worries.” Albedo reasons.

“Th-thank you, both of you,” Blushing at both of your concern, Sucrose adjusts her glasses bashfully. “When you said your Windbloom has been ‘regular’, what do you think would make it more impactful? Perhaps there is something I can help you with after all?”

“It’s nothing you’d be able to change Sucrose, but thank you,” you sigh, glancing wistfully across the square at the smiling, bustling citizens. “I suppose a festival of love and friendship just makes the lonely feel a little more alone. But it’s nothing big. I’ve got my own work and things I need to do, as I know you both have, so I’ll leave you to it. It was nice to see you both!”

“Yes, and you as well,” Albedo responded, although both he and Sucrose had a crinkle of worry in their brow.

“Um, we’ll see you later Y/n, I promise!”

You bid the duo goodbye, smiling and slightly regretting saying anything about yourself. You didn’t mean to turn the conversation so somber, hopefully Sucrose and Albedo still kept their lively attitudes despite your sudden sob story.

Although you did truely feel the effect of the events surrounding you everywhere you went. Although the festive air was fun, the novelty ran out quickly for you when you didn’t have anyone to celebrate with. Your friends were busy with their romantic pursuits, and only chatted with you shortly to update you on their success. Of course you were happy for them, but it stung a little to know you didn’t have the same.

Seeing Albedo today hadn’t helped your hurt. Despite the friendly conversation, speaking to him so casually only served as a reminder of what you knew deep down would never be. Albedo was a serious and studious, he would never have time for something so trivial as romance.

You sighed as you entered your home, deciding not to keep throwing the hapless pity party and get some work done instead. You would just have to get over it, you huffed. It’s not like anything was changing anytime soon.

You sat down across the couch, slouching after completing your work, staring into space and trying not to let the sensation of loneliness creep back now that you weren’t up and about. A knock at the door brought you from your stupor, pushing the doubting thoughts back for a moment as you curiously approached the door. You certainly weren’t expecting any guests, but what you saw when you opened to door couldn’t have been expected.

Albedo stood outside your home with a gentle smile and a full bouquet of winding, snow-white flowers the likes of which you had never seen. Your mouth gaped open as you blinked, your chest light as you tried to hold back your imagination. Surely this couldn’t be what your heart desperately hoped it would be?

“Albedo, what are you doing here?”

“Why, I simply wanted to visit you. As well as take the opportunity to present you with my Windbloom. I hope you will accept it,”

Albedo carefully handed the vine-like flowers over to you, your arms cradling them as you admired the otherworldly blooms.

“Did- did you create these?” You asked, wonderment filling your voice and reflecting in your eyes.

“Yes, I believed it was only reasonable to present you with something unique. Something to reflect how I feel... for you.” Albedo's calm features never faltered, his eyes only dropping for a second in what you could only guess was a rare shyness.

“What- I mean why-,” you tried to breathe, not quite sure how to ask the question burning in your mind. You settled with a whisper, “Why are you giving these to me?”

“Is that not obvious? I apologise if I have not been as upfront as I would have preferred, but I did not want to cause you any grief in the case you didn’t reciprocate my feelings,” Albedo explained, voice softer than ever. “I find myself infatuated with you, Y/n. You occupy more of my thoughts than any other, and I feel myself drawn to you at all times. It was only earlier today when you commented on your lonesomeness that I realised it was worth my taking a chance to make both of us happier for it. So if you’ll allow me, would you accompany me to dinner tonight?”

You smiled wide, bashfully taking Albedo’s hand in your own as you stepped closer to him.

“I would love nothing more. Thank you, Albedo. You’ve no idea how much this means, how much I like you,”

“If it is anything like how I feel for you, I’d imagine you are quite spellbound at the moment,” the alchemist chuckled, taking your hand in his and caressing the skin.

It was only that morning that you found yourself tired of the Windbloom festival. Yet now, you wished it would never end.

[mrfartpowered]

okay ik I haven’t posted much abt lize’s and my post-canon timeline but I wanna talk abt how the Weinerham Family (weinerhamily) celebrates the 4th of July!!! here’s what u need to know

Randy & Howard are gay married and have a set of twins, June & B (seen on @cunningweiner). Also their legal last name is Weinerham

Mort & Viceroy are gay dating. Hannibal and Marci are happily married as well. the four of them have some sort of polycule thing going on. No they can’t explain it <3 and neither can i

Debbie & Theresa are gay married and family friends of the Weinerhams/the Evil Polycule. they have a son, Dewey, who is a couple years younger than the twins

Heidi is gay dating Morgan and they are #childfree

Bash fucks off to Europe soon after graduating high school and Marci lets him “spread his wings” (he does not attend the family gathering)

they are a very weird, very big, oddly happy family

AND NOW!!! SILLY HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES BELOW THE CUT

Every summer the Weinerman clan & company spend a week at a McFist lake house out at Lake Papoose. The 4th of July usually falls in the middle or the end of these trips, and it’s a huge Thing™️ every time.

When the tradition began, Mort and Viceroy had recently started dating, and Bash was still obligated to attend family vacations. Heidi/Morgan and Theresa/Debbie would not join the group for a couple more years. Randy and Howard were together, but not yet married and not yet fathers. The first 4th of July on the lake, the two of them snuck away from the McFists + Mort with a handful of fireworks, stolen from Viceroy’s stash. They only meant to fuck around with some sparklers, maybe a couple fountains. But SURPRISE! Bash crashes the moment with a bigass Roman candle. Randy and Howard try to shoo him away and it turns into an argument. Mid-scuffle, the Roman candle goes off. A grassfire starts. No one gets hurt, but it’s safe to say everyone is a little peeved for the rest of the trip. Bash only attends one more lake vacation after that before fucking off to Europe.

In the “present day” — meaning, all the kids are born, all the couples are married, the tradition is firmly established — everyone gets along quite well, sans-Bash. Randy and Hannibal kinda grate on each other, even though neither of them can quite put a finger on why the other is so irritating, but their love for the collective family outweighs the annoyance. Heidi and Morgan make incredible cocktails for the adults. Theresa always makes the cutest, tastiest America-themed snacks and desserts. Viceroy and Marci chat for hours on the porch. Debbie and Howard gossip and watch bad Hallmark movies for fun. Dewey, June, and B always get into some shenanigan or other. It’s all quite domestic and fun. In this timeline they really are a weird, happy, tight-knit family. I could go on and on about how everybody interacts with each other but then this post would never ever end

Even bigger than the fireworks, though, is the Annual Weinerman-McFist-Weinerham-Fowler-Kang Paddleboard Tournament on the Water!

Okay, yeah, it’s a mouthful, but here’s the gist of it: on the lake directly behind the McFist lake house, a ways from the shore, two paddle boards are anchored, nearby one another, but far enough apart that they won’t crash. Anyone wanting to participate, whether child or adult, is randomly paired against someone else, forming a tournament bracket. Each pair swims out to the boards, armed with one of those foam jousting sticks. Then. They Fight. In order to move up in the bracket, you must knock your opponent completely into the water.

Why is it such a big deal for the Weinerhamily? Because everyone single one of them is a competitive asshole! Except for Marci and Viceroy, who referee the event. And in order to participate, you must bring something to contribute to the Victory Pile, which is a pile of the brucest prizes, all of which belong to the ultimate winner. And everyone always goes buck-fucking-WILD with the Victory Pile. Fine wines, Disneyworld tickets, $100 gift cards, gaming consoles have all been seen in the Pile.

For a while, the victor changed year to year…until Debbie’s first win. After which, she becomes undefeated. But this doesn’t deter anybody, no — they get MORE competitive trying to take her out. Nobody understands how she’s so good at it. They just know she packs a LOT of force into such a tiny body.

Hannibal’s usually out in the first round (unless he’s paired against a child), at which point he pouts for a while until he remembers that he can spend the rest of the Tournament heckling whoever took him out.

Howard is a force to be reckoned with — low center of gravity makes him hard to knock over! — and so is his girl, June, by sheer force of will. Morgan is also a powerful foe, while Heidi is quite average. Randy has quick reflexives, but is fairly easy to knock over once he runs out of energy to dodge. B usually ends up laughing too hard to actually fight, and Dewey is the youngest, so everyone knows he doesn’t stand a chance. Theresa plays quite casually once her wife starts winning the Victory Pile every year.

that’s really all I wanted to say abt this but PLS feel free to ask me or Lize abt this timeline/the Weinerhamily Lake Holiday in my asks or the replies of this post !!!!!!! happy America day or whatever

[worstvideogamesong-poll]

Worst Video Game Song Tournament - Round 3 Match 3

The Yoshi Clan - Yoshi's New Island

VERSUS

Mansion Basement - Resident Evil Director's Cut

FIGHT!

I would recommend listening to as much as you can of each song before voting, but how you choose is up to you! Remember to be civil in the tags and replies!

Propaganda under cut:

The Yoshi Clan:

"the ass band will play a song of farts to celebrate your failure"

"#FUCK YOU YOSHI"

"#yoshi sounds like suck"

"#YOOOOOOOOSHI CLAAAAN!!!!!!!! #ok im gonna complete my santa review before getting to my ten page essay on why i love yoshi clan. yea that shit bad #i accidentally started it playing in two tabs at different points of the video which was honestly really fun. i recommend tryin that esp wi #bad songs really adds smthn to the exprience. it was awesoeme #it also just sounds the exact type of awful that that video image implies which is cool. its so perfect. it sounds ass #but. what it can not beat. is my favorite of all time. my darling love. it is time to begin my sermon #ok so yoshi clan is just so beautifully terrible. and truly the whole soundtrack is an orchestra of bad design. and its so fun to look at #that really nice professional looking art for the game and get BLASTED with kazoo #and like. i understand the thought process. kazoo does seem silly goofy yoshi. and it also sounds like a chorus of pain #now this song specifically has some really great awkward pauses. at 0:16 theres like a full 3 seconds of silence. which is SO cool #then the hot cross bun bit that ends at 0:27 gets so sad and deflated at the end of it. like it starts off in time but then clearly the #soloist got kinda embarrassed alone and so rushed and got really quiet. and its just so sad and lonely. its so cool #also some of these pauses have a couple lone far away kazoo squeaks for no reason before the 'melody' comes back in? awesome #but what i really really love about this. what really draws my eye. is the ending. because we go through this entire rigamarole with the #worst secondhand embarrassment of my life. then. 0:43. the kazoos move out. and in. the most genuinely awesome groovy drum beat in the worl #like its SO good. and those last few seconds are like you're in a different world. like you just survived horrors and you are brought to an #angelic chorus. and it lasts what 5 seconds? 5 seconds of beauty after a full 40 seconds of purgatory. in what world do horrors live foreve #while an angel can last for only a flash #its cruelty. its injustice. its completely ingenious. incredible music making. i am in such awe. #anyways thats my manifesto. please feel free to put any of this in the propaganda section op. im passioante"

Mansion Basement:

"this song fucking sucks. i love it."

"[Mansion Basement] is literally what letting my cat walk over my keyboard set on some particularly bad trumpet sample feels like. Spectacular"

"#This is so funny #Who made mansion basement?? #It's so sad!! #And pathetic!!"

"#whaat the fuuuck is up with [Mansion Basement]"

"#like NOTHING can compare to mansion basement #what the FUCK"

"#the mansion basement made me cry #ithink i know who the winner here is #🎺🔥🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥🎺🔥"

"#[Mansion Basement] THO HEEEELP.??? BABY ON FL STUDIO TRYING TO PLAY MARIO UNDERGROUND THEME...."

"#resident evil is a joke song for clowns"

"#I'M NOT LISTENING TO THE OTHER ONE I KNOW FOR A FACT IT'S MANSION BASEMENT #THE STORY BEHIND IT IS WILD TOO SO THAT'S AN AUTOMATIC WIN BABBBEEEYYY" (pollrunner's note if anyone knows what the story is please tell me i am dying to hear about it)

"#i saw the title of this post and literally IMMEDIATELY thought of mansion basement #felt emotionally validated when i saw it was an option #i love that song #in the worst way #like a drunk zombie looking for its keys in an orchestra"

"#im fucking obsessed with mansion basement. sweep"

"#what the hell that is not a real resident evil song #did they really just make that and put it in the game #what"

"#I ACTUALLY LIKE THE BASEMENT SONG because it perfectly captions how like- #the sneaky suspicion of getting diharrea feels"

"#fart basement ofc"

"#Mansion basement is objectively the funniest song ever"

Feel free to add more propaganda in the tags and replies, or send it to me in the ask box and I'll try to share it as soon as I can!

[essektheylyss]

World Wizard Entertainment: After Hours

I did want to write a little thing now that I am done making a vicious mockery of Vince McSam, because this was really a WILD week and I do love a debrief.

Honestly, when I sat down to make a bracket last week, I was not committed to posting it, I was not going to make any graphics, and I definitely was not planning to run a tournament.

....Obviously that changed, but you already know that.

Really I just wanted to figure out how hard it would be to properly seed a tournament in fandom. I've already talked about that elsewhere so I won't get into it, but when you're building a tournament, you want it seeded for intrigue in later rounds, even if round one match-ups are very lopsided.

But once I had it, I was thinking about how different polls have gone in the past. Specifically, I had written a post during some earlier polls with Laerryn and Essek competing that was commenting, you know, if we're talking duel, Essek loses, 100%. He'd have a prayer in hell of winning, and there are no gods here or whatever. And the poll in which Laerryn and Essek were matched up, which Aabria made a very funny joke about, wasn't even a wizard poll! It was just sexiest character or something. But the thing is, a lot of polls have been really vague about what criteria to vote on, and there's a reason for that! A lot of polls like that are going to have an obvious winner. And because of how these spread, you are going to have a lot of people voting purely on popularity or name recognition, including plenty of people who are not super engaged in fandom since there are lots of lurkers (and we love them! hi, lurkers!), and also random people outside the fandom who just vote on any poll, so you have to account for that.

But we have polls now, and fandom is fun and chaotic, so I wondered... could you game it for an unexpected result?

I cannot turn down a challenge once I've come up with it for myself, so at that point, I actually built a tournament.

For a lot of the week, in all but the most meaningless and random of situations, I thought the answer was no! We got Ludinus kicked in the first round, which I mostly did to stir up a little drama, because round one was pretty calm and quiet.

By the quarterfinals, it got tougher. At that point there were more folks engaging, but a lot of the tags were, "Didn't we already decide this?" and I was like, well, no one is watching March Madness year after year going, "Well, Gonzaga* is the best and that's decided I guess," (except maybe Gonzaga fans, but knowing some of them, they are really serious about their basketball). They're there because there's chance involved. A great team can lose to an underdog in an early upset. Also, there's always the bracket contest, which is another layer of gamification that adds some interest. (Sidebar, can you tell yet that I wrote a paper on gamification when applying to grad school? Lulz.) But like I've mentioned, fandom polls are highly stacked to be popularity contests. How do you introduce some chance and intrigue?

As it turns out, you call the Veth stans, which I sure wouldn't have guessed, so I'm glad they turned up anyway.

But in all seriousness, with a poll like this, it's really not about deciding who is The Wizard. (For the record, with my url fully visible, the answer is absolutely Laerryn Coramar-Seelie. She is seeded first for a reason!) It's about seeing if you can be weird and wacky enough, or maybe just heartfelt and sincere enough, to turn the tide of what's expected. But it's only fun if it's collaborative.

And here's where I say it all comes back to collaborative narrative and storytelling, because when does it not with me, but seriously—I seeded Veth pretty high because she was a PC, but wasn't sure if she was going to hold that far through the polls. By the time she was, I wasn't asking, "Why is Veth beating Yussa, the most no-brain cell wizard in the northern Exandrian hemisphere, with one wizard level?" It was clear that the Veth fans had decided to make this their mission.

So I do hope the takeaway, based on everyone making content and giving speeches and doing a fun kayfabe, is that you can make a really interesting and fun tournament by committing to the bit. You have to get ridiculous and you have to stick with it, but that's... really what fandom is. It's really not about "is my fave gonna win," and it's honestly not even about who wins (you may have noticed that the winner section of my results post is... small, which is intentional), it's about building a little story together.

And I'm really glad we all did that. I feel like I need to go around and do a virtual 'good game' high five to the Veth stans, and the Caleb stans, and Aabria herself, and everyone who wrote in defense of someone and put on a kayfabe and ran with a bit, because it really was a fun roller coaster of a tournament.

And if you didn't join in this week, but kind of wanted to, I hope the next time someone runs a tournament you just go for it! I was also a lot more timid about fandom participation as a teen, but honestly, if you are really excited about, I don't know, Realmseer Eskil (who is super cool by the way), don't take it too seriously and write an overwrought defense of them! Make a funny meme! Be sporting about it, come up with the most ridiculous reason you can name to vote for them, and run with it.

(Also, my other takeaway is that it is really easy to ape the overblown wrestling host voice. Please do it, it's literally so funny.)

[mk-wizard]

Pokemon the Anime: I love Ash Ketchum but...

Hi, friends. Fun fact about me: I love Pokemon! And I loved the anime! To me, Pokemon is a part of my childhood that I will always cherish dearly and it was one of the first animes I got into. Looking back on it, it still holds up, but there is one thing that I have come to realize about it. We need to talk about Ash Ketchum...

Now, let me make it clear that I love Ash Ketchum. I think he’s adorable, funny and his passionate energy rubs off on you in all of the right ways. Plus, he is passionate without being obsessed and still cares enough about people and doing things right that he has a heroic streak. However... he is not a good fit as a main character because while we root for him and love him, his story is too linear, his character development is minimal, we all knew he was going to win in the end and honestly, seeing his story unfold all the time got very dull. Plus, we never really got to know Ash as a character. Just to give you an example, in ALL of the anime’s run, we never find out who his dad is/was or what his mom does for a living. In other words, he is an MC who never really develops beyond his professional skills and never really get to know. We know more about Team Rocket (Jessie, James and Meowth) than we do about Ash. To me, he would have worked better as a secondary character not an main one. In fact, this lack of details and repetitive formula is why I eventually stopped watching the anime. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy Ash won in the end, but... his story took way too long and got dull. The character who would have main a great MC for the anime is someone who did undergo a lot of development, maturing and more.

Gary Oak. Now hear me out...

The Pokemon anime is essentially a tournament anime series where the standard formula is that the MC goes in and comes out the winner. However, Gary would have been unique, compelling and memorable for many reasons if HE was the MC.

First off, unlike most MC’s of this genre of anime, Gary is initially not likeable. He is egotistical, unkind, rude and a big bully. I remember than as a girl, I hated Gary and used to wish his grandpa, Prof. Oak, would ground him. However, as the series progressed, so did he. He softened his behaviour, learned humility and let his rivalry with Ash go which freed him emotionally and allowed him to grow up. While he still has a mischievous and competitive streak, he doesn’t get mean about it nor is he a showboat. And he dropped the personal cheerleading squad. He now seeks to better himself rather than constantly having his ego stroked which is something really refreshing and enjoyable to experience. I can’t really say his journey was a redemption story. It was a growing up story and a tale that reminds us that we all had our phases as kids, but we grow out of them.

Secondly, as I stated before, Gary let his rivalry with Ash go and became better for it. When he did, he realized, his calling wasn’t to be a trainer, but a researcher and he was actually really good at it. Honestly, it was this turning point that made me realize that Gary’s story was more interesting than Ash’s and I really wanted to see more of his story. In fact, I also found myself wishing we saw more of his story before that turning point kind of like Ashoka Tano’s from Star Wars, but unlike her, we were deprived of that. I would even argue that this was a reoccurring flaw in the Pokemon anime series: they never answered the questions everyone kept asking and never let us get to know the true MCs. The point is, I don’t know of any other tournament anime where the rival decided to graciously step down and turn their attention towards their true passion. Now... imagine if the MC did this. I know Pokemon is a tournament anime, but it is also an anime about Pokemon first. Gary should have gotten his own spin-off anime simply because he is the most unique rival there is in this kind of setting: he quit and was better for it.

Thirdly, having the show concentrate on him would have given us a chance to get to know the other MCs more and FINALLY answer a lot of the questions that to this day are still left unanswered. It’s very clear that the Oaks and Ketchums are very close the way the Burns and Greene family are close on Rescue Bots. I really enjoyed seeing how close the two families were and how Prof. Oak was like a father figure to Ash and a sweet grandpa to Gary. Also, Prof. Oak himself is an interesting and entertaining character. To this day, we still don’t know who Mrs. Oak was or who Gary’s parents are. Or who Mr. Ketchum was. It is a shame to me that these blanks were never filled because it is implied that they were great people and these missing pieces would explain why these characters are the way they are.

Anyway, this all just my opinion and as a rare treat, here is my fan theory about Prof. Oak’s wife, Mr. Ketchum and Gary’s missing parents... And I really want to say this first because this fan theory always made me mad, but I will try to say it nicely, but firmly.

Prof. Oak is NOT Ash’s father nor is it possible for him to be because Nintendo would never allow such a disturbing thing. And because of the Professor and Mrs. Ketchum’s age difference, it would imply that Gary is Ash’s uncle while being the same age as him. That is sick and wrong on so many levels and not something they would ever want on Pokemon and we already SHOULD know from the start that Prof. Oak can’t be Ash’s dad because has black hair.

Professor Oak is a redhead and so is his mom. And their relationship is not romantic now either. It is that between two good friends. If it is anything beyond that, I think Prof. Oak may see Delia as the daughter he never had. Same goes with Giovanni. He cannot be Ash’s dad because he looks nothing like him.

Plus, Ash has two distinguishing marks on his face that his mom doesn’t have which means he got that, his hair and olive skin tone from his dad who had all of these features. My fan theory is that Mrs. Delia Ketchum is a widow and her husband is no longer with us. Plain and simple. He was obviously a good man and a good husband who left a good impression on Ash, but I think he died most likely of disease while he was very young.

As for Mrs. Oak... Agatha is NOT Prof. Oak’s ex-wife because if she was, we would have always known it and be treated like a relative. Once a family member is revealed, there’s no point in hiding it so the anime always came clean when it came to that at least, but the most we got out of Agatha is that she was an old rival of Prof Oak which means that is all she is. Period.

I think the good Professor is divorced on bad terms considering he never speaks of his wife and has no ring which from experience, I can tell you is often a tell tale sign that you were once married, but it ended badly. As for Gary’s parents, I think that knowing Nintendo, their state is simple: they’re alive, but career driven people where they aren’t home very often so they left caring for the kids to Prof. Oak and Mrs. Oak (if she was alive then). Nothing dramatic or over the top. Just simple and short like that. Also, I think it is safe to say that the Oak family is well off (including the ex-Mrs. Oak) considering they all live so well.

Finally, how does Giovanni have ties to the Ketchum and Oak family? Well, Giovanni is in fact old and close to Prof. Oak’s age. His mom had him young, and while he is rich enough to afford facials that make him appear young, if you take a really good look at his face, he has wrinkles, a receding hairline and his face has lost some of its fullness which implies some sagging. My fan theory is that he was once rivals with Prof. Oak in their youth and Mr. Ketchum is one of the few people who managed to beat Giovanni in a Pokemon Battle.

Like I said, this series is made for kids. It wouldn’t include adult theme dramatic elements like that. I admit some of the characters have exaggerated and weird backstories with some drama, but it never becomes dirty, adult or something you would find in a trashy soap opera.

[twilightmalachite]

Raison d’être - A Premature Burial 7

Author: Akira

Characters: Shu, Mika

Translator: Mika Enstars

"No, if anything, I, Itsuki Shu, am the most suitable successor to Grandfather."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Itsuki Family Mansion Guest Room

Mika: Even if yer told to give it everything you’ve got… What’s there t’do? Do we give him an extravagant funeral?

Shu: Grandfather’s request is clear and simple.

First, every member of the family will submit a “Supreme Funeral Plan”.

Grandfather will then choose the best funeral among them at his own discretion and prejudice. Then, we will carry out the living funeral of his choice.

That’s all that was said, so to speak.

Although very unscrupulous, it is similar to the work we often do, where we design outfits suitable for a project and have them selected.

Mika: Uh-huh, hence the Funeral Contest…?

Shu: Mhm. It’s a tournament to figure out a funeral about Grandfather, by Grandfather, for Grandfather.

It is very much like him to make everything into a festivity…

But I never thought he would turn his own funeral, meant to be carried out solemnly, into a fun event.

By the way, the one who proposes the funeral chosen by Grandfather, that is, the contest winner, will be handsomely rewarded.

According to him, it will be the largest sum yet.

I suppose since it will be his last bout of fun, he’s putting up a lavish feast for the remaining fortune.

Mika: Is it really alright t’be deciding who gets an inheritance through somethin’ so playful?

Shu: That’s exactly what exhibits Grandfather’s keen insight. Most of the inheritance has already been properly distributed among family members through the games in the past.

It’s hard to complain about it when it’s the result of a game.

Under the guise of foolery, Grandfather has distributed his vast fortune during the time he was still alive.

Fairly, evenly, and adequately.

Mika: Uh-huh… I can’t find the right expression to describe it, but what a great man.

Shu: He is a great man that even I respect, tentatively.

Anyways, I say that it’s a lavish feast this time around, but it is only a small amount when compared to the entire picture—It’s like a bonus.

Besides, it’s not like I’ll be bothered if I don’t get it, but… I’d like to get my hands on it for the sake of it.

I would be proud to say that I, considered to be the odd one out of my family, was the one who best understood Grandfather, who was also a non-conformist.

No, if anything, I, Itsuki Shu, am the most suitable successor to Grandfather.

I absolutely would love to receive Grandfather’s final gift.

Mika: I see. In that case, we’ll have to go all out. ‘Course, I’ll be doin’ the best I can do help. That bein’ said, it goes without sayin’, but I’ve never planned a funeral by myself before…

What should I be doin’? This isn’t the same as when we usually plan a performance, right?

Shu: No, I think it’ll be about the same way of thinking. Think of it this way; we are designing a performance for Grandfather’s funeral.

The performance’s leading role would be the deceased—Our Grandfather. The audience will be made up of those involved who wish to have a final moment with the leading role, in other words, the mourners.

The circumstances are quite very private, but… It resembles the composition of idols and the fans who flock to them, doesn’t it?

Mika: I see… ‘Course, since it’s a funeral, ya probably don’t wanna put off flashy smoke and bright spotlights, though.

Shu: I wonder. Grandfather does like to be flashy… The choice is ultimately his, so we must analyze his preferences.

Mika: I don’t know much ‘bout your Grandfather, though…

Shu: You’re right. We must begin by researching the organizer’s preferences.

I am not so used to doing this. I’ve always imposed my own tastes and world onto anyone else.

But you’ve done quite a lot of superficial work, so I assume you’re well-accustomed to this sort of thing.

At best, if you may, you can teach me what is the “typical way” of doing things.

Mika: Ah, okay, gotcha! So that’s why ya asked me fer my help, Oshi-san.

Shu: Of course, it’s also because I trust your technique and perception. Do not misunderstand, you are no longer a marionette—You are an artist, equal to me.

And as always we always do, the two of us will collaborate together to create the most supreme funeral.

Mika: Right. A funeral really does feel like an impossible task of sorts—There’s a limit to an art’s innovation, right?

Shu: That’s true. And there is a troubling circumstance involved this time as well.

Our family discussion turned into a dispute. That’s why it took so long for me to return back to you.

Mika: A troublin’ circumstance?

???: —Allow me to explain from here.

Mika: Nnaaah!? Huh, wha? Mado-nee—I mean, no, the Made-nee look-alike spoke!?

Shu: Allow me to introduce them. Although I myself still have yet to comprehend this.

The one speaking through this adorable doll here is—Some mysterious person who claims to be an illegitimate son of Grandfather.

Mika: Illegitimate son!?

Shu: I suppose from my viewpoint, that would make him my uncle… I do not know if it is his real name or not, but he calls himself “Raffaello”.

Raffaello: “Fufu. Nice to meet you, I’m Shu-kun’s uncle, Raffaello.”

Mika: Whaaaa…!?

[ ☆ ]

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[chaserainbows]

Week 7

(you won't believe who gets to come back)

there's always a returning challenge and NOW IS THE TIME

it's a stand up challenge in duos where the eliminated contestant on the winning team gets to return to the competition but the 3 worst teams will all be up for elimination and 2 contestants will be eliminated at the end of the episode

which basically means that this challenge is CHAOTIC AS HELL

since fearghas was disqualified due to an injury he doesn't get to come back in this challenge FEARGHAS WAS ROBBED so let's go over the duos

akari l chooses to team up with akari y for the akari solidarity and because the smartest choice here would be to team up with the bitch that hasn't missed once

lynn teams up with agni as fellow lipsync tournament winners legends respect legends

saundra teams up with may because they're choreo challenge sisters that alliance is being respected

iris teams up with diantha because she has to

and because fearghas isn't here and there's not enough eliminated contestants anabel and grusha will have to team up together which is a FUN pair isn't it

actually that makes me wonder what happens if they win does no one get to come back

SAUNDRA CRUSHES THIS CHALLENGE

make no mistake she may have been eliminated in a stand up challenge but she's a comedy legend when she doesn't have to do a goofy ass politician character

akari y agni and diantha are all making good cases for being very funny here while may and lynn continue to be not very good at thinking quickly in this type of challenge

anabel and grusha may seem like an absolutely cursed duo but they actually do a pretty good job together

the winners of this challenge are IRIS AND DIANTHA

IRIS IS BACK IN THE COMPETITION AND DIANTHA HAS 3 WINS

may scores high in this challenge because she may not be very funny on her own but her chemistry with saundra is really strong the choreo alliance is out of this world

the worst performers of this challenge are akari y and agni (which is insane because they actually did great) + grusha and anabel (who didn't bomb by any means but were at a natural disadvantage)

agni's considered the best of the 4 which means we have a bottom 3 of akari y grusha and anabel and it's the first time they actually have to worry about elimination

OKAY BUDGET

i have a feeling that grusha would crush this performance and anabel would definitely vibe to abba but don't count akari y out just yet because she's GOOD AT EVERYTHING

TEAM GRUSHABEL JOIN FORCES TO MAXIMIZE THEIR JOINT SLAY look at these icy bitches go

it's looking really bad for akari y because she got beaten not once but twice over the course of a single lipsync she does have the best track record but will it be enough to save her over 2 superior lipsyncs

YES APPARENTLY

anabel almost eliminated her but her performance throughout the season is just too good to ignore

and with that we say goodbye to the duo of haters but they will continue to spread hate across the world

meanwhile in untucked villaintha is ready to let akari y know that her domination era is OVER (but is it really)

and now that iris is back she's catching up on all the drama that she missed out on this season she saw diantha leading that villain poll and she will make sure her voice is heard

may's just chilling

with the grusha/anabel double elimination and iris' return we are now at top 5

akari y is STILL the leader of the pack despite her bottom placement with may and diantha close behind but may doesn't actually have any wins so it's a little complicated for her

iris' overall score is technically better than agni's but she only competed in 3 episodes while agni was around for 7 so it's not exactly a very balanced comparison

the fact that iris the first out got a win before may is so camp

[winvyre]

[Valerie's Story] Chapter 1: Omie (4/6)

Alrighty, lads, come the end of this portion we're going to enter the horror territory. Personally, I don't think it's too bad but if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, especially body horror, consider yourself warned.

------------

“Did you get it?” I ask.

“Yep! One of this year’s Omie’s Festival exclusive spinning top right here!” Kell opens his palm to show me. It’s got layers of different wood types all stained red so the color shows up in several different shades. It’s shaped like an acorn without a cupule. “Another one for Maurin’s collection!”

“How many does he have?”

“Like fifty or something.”

“Don’t lose it. You know how much he hates it when we play with them.”

We browse some of the other stalls. Fun shaped and scented candles and soaps, quilted blankets and aprons, flower arrangements, knitted winter accessories, toys, and all manner of other locally crafted goods line the road. It’s beautiful. But what we’re really looking for is Marlowe’s Marvels.

Every year Marlowe hides their cart somewhere new. It’s become a game to find it first. Marlowe brings items from all over the world. The type of stuff an isolated village in the Forest Region would never see. Clay wares from the Desert Region, special rocks from Mountain Region mines, a clock from a skilled smith in the Snow Region. And the most important thing: foreign candy. Spicy and fruity and so many other flavors that we can't get here. Like chocolate! I didn’t know you could make chocolate so many different ways!

I wince at a glint that hits me directly in the eye. Upon further inspection, I can see the bars of a bird cage in the alleyway between the flower shop and the tavern. It’s them! It’s Marlowe! I nudge Kell, tipping my head to indicate the direction of the cart. We have to be secretive or the other kids will get to it first. Then we wouldn’t get the prize.

We beeline for the alleyway being careful not to walk too fast and arouse suspicion. It’s so close! Just a few more steps and… we made it! But we’re not the first ones. Giles is accepting the reward chocolate from Marlowe, his father standing beside him. “No fair! He had an adult’s help!”

“Giles is four, Valerie.”

“I don’t care.” I grumble. The dragon in the birdcage squawks. “Hello, Trochilus.” Trochilus is what Marlowe calls a feathered drake. Its wings are like a sparrow's and too big for its body. Instead of spines down its back it has large feathers and other than its claws, forearm, and beak it's fluffy instead of scaly. They say it comes from the Mountain Region. A lot of dragons come from the Mountain Region. I want to visit it someday so I can see dragons bigger than the loftus lander we found in our attic last year.

“Good today and tomorrow, children.” Marlowe bows with a flourish. “Have you come to enjoy this year’s exotic selection?”

“What kind of chocolate do you have?” I ask at the same time that Kell says “Give me the spiciest thing you have.” which is funny because Kell has absolutely no spice tolerance.

“The Desert Region boasts its new spiciest creation: the Sandworm.” Marlowe reaches into a basket and pulls out a fat, gummy, worm-shaped candy. You can see the specks of spice through the translucent body. Kell trades it for a coin. “And for the chocolate-lover, a bitter brick from the Swamp Region? Or a creamy, melty ball from the Plains Region?”

“Both.” And they're wrapped and in my pocket.

We say goodbye to Marlowe and hurry over to where the gameball tournament will be held. There's a kid division and an adult division. Kell and I wait with the other kids. Our games will be first. We'll be randomly sorted into four teams. Two teams will face each other and then the other two will. The winners will play each other then the adult teams do the same. The only prize is bragging rights but it’s still fun!

We enter our names into the box. There are thirty six kids so we'll be in teams of nine. More wanted to play but the organizers had to cut it off lest there be too many players on the field to keep track of. It must be the warm weather. Years past struggle to get even six kids per team. The adults usually cap out.

I find Fran and Mom on the edge of the field with the rest of the spectators and hand Mom my vest and candy. Fran still won't look at me. Kell gives his Sandworm and spinning top, too. Mom sets them on the blanket and rises to her feet. “Teams will be announced soon. Let's go.” she smiles.

“You’re playing too?”

“Why not? It’ll be fun.”

First, names are pulled for team Acorn. Then Bark, Sap, which is mine, and last is Samara, which is Kell’s. The adults are teams Oak (Mom’s), Birch, Maple, and Elm.

By some other draw it’s decided that Bark and Samara will play first. Kell's team makes him play defense because apparently all teenagers are out for blood. It's almost sad watching him watch the ball, get excited that it's coming toward him, then a teammate swooping in to kick it away as he stands there with an incredibly betrayed look on his face. The one time he goes after the ball, an opposing player trips him and he nearly face plants in the grass; his hands stop his fall just in time. I want to kick them in the shins.

Graciela's on team Bark and she's dominating everyone else. I always knew she was freakishly strong but this is a whole other level of athletics. Naturally, she wins the match up. And no, I don't mean her team. I mean her. It's not even close. Really makes me question why she doesn’t participate in sports more often.

“I just prefer to do other things in my free time.” Graciela answers. She's not even sweating. What kind of magic is this? “Knitting is fun.”

Kell comes over to me, pouting with his hands tucked under his arms. Next it's Acorn versus Sap. My game. Based on what I saw from Kell's experience, I don't have high hopes. “Good luck.” he says in a jaded tone. I take pity on him and grab his scraped up hands, pouring my energy into him like an almost empty pitcher into a cup. Every time I perform this action, the next one is stronger. One day I'll be a waterfall but for now giving even this much of my pond to someone else makes me noticeably tired.

“You're gonna regret that on the field.” Kell warns.

“After watching you? I don’t think it matters.”

It doesn't. Not a lot, anyway. The Sap teenagers argue about who has to play goalie before assigning it to me. I only stop the ball twice (Mom's cheers are the loudest out of everyone's when that happens), the rest of the game it's on the far side of the field. Guess we're finalists now. They won't make it past Graciela and I think they know it. Someone even whispers “Why do they allow her to play in the kid's division? She should be with the adults.” To which someone else responds “Are you saying you can't handle it?” and the conversation ends.

In the finals, the other Sap team kid who was able to get to the team lots box before it was overrun gives up and picks at the dandelions by our goal, causing them to grow to the size of her shoe. We chat about her Scape magic for approximately thirty seconds (she just manifested and her parents’ panic takes the form of way too much reading material from the temple. Her family isn't very magically inclined.) before we're scored on. My team chides me initially but quickly realize there's not much I can do unless I don't mind taking a leather ball to the face. Is Graciela aiming for my head on purpose?

Bark wins. Obviously.

“Good effort!” Mom pats my head.

“Not really.”

“I'm sure you'll improve by next year.” She hands me my vest. I don't mention that Kell is eleven and he did even less than me.

While I'd love to be a good daughter and pay attention to Mom's game against team Elm, I find myself gravitating towards the village elders playing Nine Men's Morris, Chess, and Fox & Geese at the tables set up on the street near the field. It's hard to wrap my head around. Especially at the speed some of them are going. They make commentary on the game as they play. Old people have some kind of magic on their own.

“What do you reckon I should do? An old man asks me, referring to his Nine Men's Morris board. “Better be good, I'm betting money on this.”

My family plays this game all the time. Bernadette's undefeated. I study the board. “Move the marker on the far right to the top right corner and take his at… there.”

The man does so. “Good eye, lass.”

Mom taps me on the shoulder. “Go with Fran and Kell to get some lunch. I have to heal a broken leg.”

Francesca keeps her eyes on the ground as she asks “What do you want to eat?”

Kell has a few ideas. “Sea skewers! Roast corn on the cob! Beef gyros! Cheese curds! Poffertjes!”

“Custard tarts! Potato pie! Lokum!” I join in.

“You can't eat all of that at once!” Fran holds the coin pouch out of Kell's reach. “Pick one. You can choose something else for dinner.”

I settle on sea skewers and Kell chooses a beef gyro with every sauce. Sea skewers come in threes with fish cubes, shrimp, and crab meat. It’s so good! This is the only time of year we can get shellfish.  Fran doesn't have anything. “Are you gonna eat?”

“I'm not hungry.”

“Mom says-”

“Oh, piss off! You don't know anything!” She storms off.

“Should we go after her?” Kell licks his fingers.

“Probably not.” We find a place near the square to finish eating while we wait for the dances to start. People will assemble after the gameball tournament ends. The live band is already setting up. It’d be cool to learn how to play the flute.

Kell leaves to discard his trash and Mom comes back with Francesca and a glass of rosé, shooting me a look that says “leave her be.”

A voice hisses on the back of my neck, “The hoary will get you and rip off your ears,”

I yelp in surprise. “Kell, stop!”

“Bellona will surface to swallow your tears,”

“Kell, that’s scary!”

“Nobody’s seen her for one thousand years,

“But she lives in the veil and feasts on your fears!”

I hate that song. “Mo~m! Kell’s acting creepy!”

“Kell, stop antagonizing your sister.” she scolds, wiping my face with her thumb.

People gather at the edges of the square slowly. Music sounds out. Quietly at first, rising more as the crowd grows. Everyone's waiting for the song to hit its peak. When it does, people burst into the empty space, forming three distinct circles. We start by skipping, the outer and innermost circles rotating clockwise and the middle going counter. As the melody arrives at its chorus we join hands, bouncing inwards until the people in the center can't move then spreading out until we lose our grips. From there, everyone dances however they'd like until the bridge repeats at which point we do the circle thing again.

Sometimes people switch which circle they're in because the individual dance section migrated them. I go from the inner circle with Kell to the middle without him then back to the inner and finally find him again on the outside.

A figure scurrying through the trees catches my eye. It’s short and emits a dull white glow from a strange growth covering it. It disappears before I can focus on it. “Psst, Kell!”

“What?”

“I saw something weird behind the bakery. I think it went to the river.” We duck out of the circle and race to the woods. The figure stands in front of the water like a marionette without any strings. It's smaller than I thought, humanoid, and a white fungus of some kind seems to be taking over its body in real time, weighing the right side of its head down. Its skin is more grey than tan which reminds me of when the miller's youngest daughter drowned and her body was swept away by the current so when they recovered her she'd been dead for several days.

“Uh, Valerie, that's Giles.”

-----

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

[blockgamepirate]

The Purgatory event and the new Traffic/Life series happening at the same time is really making me think about my personal frustrations with mixing storytelling oriented roleplay and structured or rules oriented gameplay

I'm obviously not saying you can't mix those successfully, but for me at least there are some grey areas between the two where it just becomes extremely frustrating to me, to the point that I can't enjoy it and often get actually mad about it

(I know, I know, I should be more mature about it, whatever, I'm being mature by trying my best to shut up, at least in public)

Basically my problem is that if you're gonna mix these two types of playing, there's basically only two options I find satisfying:

1. keep the roleplay very light and non-serious while focusing on the structured gameplay (some fudging of the rules for the sake of roleplay is fine if it makes things more fun)

2. make the gameplay and the rules just the setting/starting off point and from there the roleplay and storytelling should always be the priority (obviously some occasional handwaving is fine but it should never be anything that seriously breaks character or gets in the way of what would be the most interesting direction for the story)

The problem is that between these two there's option 1.5, which is where both styles of play are equally mixed, and that's where the danger zone lies for me.

I think the best case scenario for me is when it's option 1 turning gradually into option 2. I'm sort of fine with that direction, because I just love roleplay and storytelling. What REALLY gets to me though, is when option 2 suddenly starts moving towards option 1.

The best example of this for me is the Last Life SMP finale, which I'm just still so mad about and no I have no chill, if I seem chill about it, it's because I'm censoring myself to be polite. They had the perfect set up for Scott and Pearl, the two survivers of the GGG, and Rendog and Martyn, the two survivers of the Shadows and also characters connected through a bond that crossed over from Third Life, to go head to head in a final battle, but crucially staying loyal to their teammates to the end. But nahhhhh clearly what we should do instead is just ignore all preceding character arcs and just do a basic ass four person battle royale round. And then unceremoniously kill the winner immediately after so they can't even do one last thing before they go.

(Sorry Last Life fans, I think that's like most people's favourite season, or that's the impression I have. I did say that I was holding back purely out of politeness. I actually have zero chill about this. I even had to delete some lines that were getting a bit too salty just now.)

But yeah, the reason why I had to stop watching Purgatory on day one was because I was getting that same feeling of frustration because it felt like they were going from peak dramatic roleplay to suddenly doing a random ass PVP tournament with random ass teams. I mean to be fair there is a story excuse for it because there's that eye entity or whatever that's making the players do this in-universe, but still, it was getting to me. I wasn't having a good time and I was getting mad so I decided I needed to quit and hear from others later whether it would even be worth watching for me.

Still not entirely sure if I like this arc, but I've calmed down enough to give it a shot

Just trying to analyse why I have these reservations. And yes I know it's personal preference and most people probably don't feel this way or at least not as intensely about it. I know a lot of people understandably enjoy the variety and that's fine. I'm just explaining my perspective.

I guess it really is mostly just about feeling jebaited as a fan of roleplay and storytelling.

[risingsouls]

🦎[What do you think could be done to improve Super as a series?]

🦎 for my work thoughts || Always Accepting!

[Hoo boy. That's a big question because I would change so damn much. But I think I can sort it down to three main categories:

Tone Whiplash

Taking the interesting concepts introduced and keeping them interesting

Make it feel less like a parody (which is sort of a combo of the two but)

Probably one of the biggest issues I have with Super is the tone whiplash we get from Z to Super. For me, Z evolved from Dragonball's fun, comedic, and more whimsical tone to Z's well-implemented balance of seriousness when the moment called for it while keeping some of the fun and humor from DB. In other words, the series felt like it matured with the characters to put it a different way. Then Super comes in and it feels like it's more interested in reviving much of DB's comedic tone, relying more on jokes and fan service rather than actually continuing the story with a tone similar to what we get in Z. Moments that deserve anything other than a laugh feel passed over if not disregarded in seconds. The characters we watched grow and mature and change feel completely regressed to either what we see in DB if they were there (big examples being Goku and Bulma for this) or their characterization goes full tilt into One Attribute to the point od the character feeling totally flat or their motivations and actions just don't make sense because of it (Vegeta is a good example of this one). And all of this is, as I said, either for a laugh or because of fan service (and I don't just mean the sexy kind, either; excuse my tinfoil hat here, but I've been convinced for a long time that Super's writers are absolutely actively taking cues from fan material and reactions far more than they did with Z because I know there were issues with that back then too) makes it feel like you're watching a completely unrelated series if not just a fan made series. If you're not prepared for it, it's a really big slap in the face and jarring.

The next thing that absolutely sucks with Super is they really do actually introduce a lot of neat concepts and plots but....do nothing with them or ruin them by the end of the arc. Super is a bottomless mine for new concepts from God Ki In general, gods of destruction, angels, and the new universes to new forms(?) like Ultra Instinct, Beast Gohan, Orange Piccolo (both stupid names) and Ultra Ego. But we get next to zero explanation of them, and if we do, it's conflicting or even completely retconned later in the series. Again, it feels like it's all done just to do it and bring in a new form or power or whatever without making it feel relevant or giving any understanding as to why it's special from what we already know and understand. Similarly, pretty much all of the main arcs start our with interesting premises. However, most of the time, by the end, it becomes a huge train wreck and the whole thing just felt like a waste of time (the Goku Black arc which doesn't deserve the hype the fandom gives it I'll say it and the Granolah arc are good examples for basically the same reason). In every arc, it basically feels like there are no real stakes, and, if there were stakes like in the ToP, they get ripped out from beneath us by the god of gods saying they only made the tournament to see if the winner would wish back the other universes from being erased. And even with the concession of Zeno apparently claiming that he would erase all the universes if the winner made a selfish wish, it just makes the entire arc feel pointless. And this feels like it happens in every arc: if the plot had any teeth, by the end, they've been completely ripped out.

And finally, it just needs to not feel like I'm watching or reading a parody or poorly executed fan fiction. As I said this kind of puts both of them together and is just big on how poor the writing is most of the time, from the plot to the characters themselves. I mean shit there's not even blood. And I guess I get they're trying to appeal to a younger audience but listen. I was watching Goku beat the tar out of Frieza at 6 and I liked the series just fine, blood and not constant jokes and all. And maybe I'm just asking to much of this series but damn. If it felt like there was half the effort put into Super as was put into Z (which don't get me wrong could have used a little more effort and care itself in places), this could have actually been a halfway enjoyable series. But as it stands, I can barely handle a few episodes at a time or more than the monthly manga chapter to sate my curiosity and see if anything I want to see in this series comes to pass.]

[bullfrogjoy]

Bullfrog Joy

March 22, 2023

Good Morning! It’s really spring now, but I’m not sure it feels like it. For some reason I am just cold. I do like the sunshine later in the day, and I know it will warm up. On my walk today I saw bluebells and mini daffodils. So cute! My regular daffodils are just about bloomed out. They’ll last a little longer for just a bit more early spring joy.

March Madness…it’s another sign of spring. Are you in? How do you choose your winners? I’m looking for a Cinderella team, but the one I picked got beat. Long Beach State. Their coach got fired and then they won their tournament. I’ll look for another one. Maybe Oakland?

I guess you could say my family is a little basketball crazy. We had two TV’s going last night, flipping between games. Our daughter took two days off work to watch games this week. We did not teach her to be a North Carolina fan, but somehow that has become her team. They won so her bracket is good so far.

Facebook told me that our son got tickets to see Illinois play yesterday afternoon. I didn’t even know he was a fan, but there was his picture at the game. He and his friend drove six hours to watch the game. Guess they were feeling the joy because Illinois won. I did notice he had on his White Sox shirt so he does still know which sport is the best!

Here’s my non-basketball joy story for the week, my friends. My brother left town for the winter, but before he left he made plans for some remodeling of his house here in Illinois. He asked if I would supervise and make some decisions if necessary. It really is a bit bigger job than I expected, but it is sort of fun to be in charge of spending someone else’s money! Someone had to choose what kind of flooring to put in his new bathroom and hallway. The carpenters suggested we go to the Warehouse Bargain store at the mall. WOW! Have you been there? So much stuff! And so many deals.

However, the real joy was when we discovered we had not bought enough flooring. Doesn’t sound like joy, does it? We had to go back to buy an entire box to get the three pieces we needed for the doorway we hadn’t measured. We walked in, told the guy what we wanted, and he said he thought he could hook us up. He pulled three pieces out of an open box and handed them to us, saying, “Have a nice day. It’s on us!” What a deal! And yes, my friends, that was JOY! We will go back to that store.

I do like basketball as much as the rest of the family, but I also found a really good book. It may be a tough choice this weekend. Basketball or The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese? The characters are amazing. The setting is 1900’s in India. An interesting tidbit, not particularly important to the plot is that the main character attends a church established by the apostle Thomas, after Jesus sent him to go to all nations, preach the gospel and baptize believers. I had to check on this. I don’t know that it is proven fact, but it is tradition that Thomas did go to India to preach the Word, and there are churches that claim to be founded by Thomas. There are three different story lines. At page 250 (there are 700) I am beginning to see how they might intertwine. So much to find out, so much to read, how can I watch basketball?

Life is good. Joy is out there my friends. Macomb outdoor Dairy Queen is open! It may be cold, but ice cream brings me joy! And….even better….It’s almost Easter when we celebrate the greatest joy of all. Find a church and celebrate Palm Sunday! Jesus is alive. Joy to you my friends. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.

[thetoxicgamer]

‘It must suck to hate me’: Leffen cements FGC legacy with second Evo title in as many games

Multi-time Evo champions are difficult to discover, but the number drops even more when looking for players who have won titles in many games. Leffen is the newest member of this select club, having won Guilty Gear Strive at Evo 2023 on August 6 with a crushing 3-0 win over NBNHMR. After over a decade of playing Super Smash Bros. Melee at the highest level, and winning Evo 2018 in what is currently the game’s final appearance at the event, Leffen has continued to branch out into different fighting games. https://twitter.com/EVO/status/1688361520676364288 Since picking up Strive at launch in 2021, he quickly rose to prominence as a top player—even managing to win Evo 2021 Online for Europe, though that isn’t counted as a direct Evo title. Winning Evo 2023 in Strive makes him a two-time Evo winner like Mang0 and Armada before him, but he was able to do it in a second game outside of Smash, something that no other Smash player has managed to do before—which also allowed for him to shut the haters, and Mang0, up. https://twitter.com/Light_S21/status/1688383194096177152 “It must really suck to hate me, it must be a really tough job,” Leffen said to Dot Esports. “I mean, with Mang0, it’s all fun and games because we’re good friends. I think he knows deep inside that him saying that kicked my motivation into an extra gear because I had already done so well.” After winning the Ludwig Ahgren Championship Series 5, Leffen noted that he didn’t have “a chip on my shoulder” like he would have had he not won a big event recently. So his mindset heading into the top six at Evo was a bit more relaxed until he woke up and saw all of the hate and doubt on social media. Because of his outspoken and occasionally aggressive nature, the Smash community has a very love-hate relationship with Leffen. That somewhat carried over to Strive, especially when he picked up a divisive character like Happy Chaos. But even though hundreds of people were calling for his defeat, he didn’t let it phase him and instead made him think “You know what? I think I really want to win this one too.” https://twitter.com/Light_S21/status/1688383194096177152 “Lud’s event was one of those tournaments where I came in as an underdog and every set was scrappy, like I had to clutch out almost all of those sets and lost a bunch in the beginning,” Leffen said. “After that, I thought “It is fine to win like that, it’s impressive” but in my mind, it’s way cooler to win as a favorite and a top seed. I want to win right through practice and knowing all of my matchups, not relying on playing good that specific day. I think the coolest win is when you win and it’s like, oh, of course, he won.” With that mentality shaping his perspective from early July, Leffen dedicated himself to focusing on Strive so he could give that tournament his best shot. Because, win or lose, approaching it like that meant he can “push himself the furthest” toward his goal of winning Evo in that way. https://twitter.com/edwin_budding/status/1688360125789081600 And win he did, dominating the top six through winner’s side and dropping just a single round along the way. It was a crushing performance from someone who knew they were favored and wanted to definitely show he is the best in the world. “When I got into grand finals and did that announcement and asked who was rooting for me or NBNHMR, everyone was rooting for him because he plays Nagoriyuki and is from America,” Leffen said. “I just thought to myself that I am going to make this such a boring set. I want to make them shut up. Like, this is America and I’m Swedish. I get it. I accept my role. But I wanted to make it clear. I didn’t want a scrappy set where I won because I had a set advantage. I wanted to make a statement.” https://twitter.com/TSM_Leffen/status/1688644695491227650 For anyone trying to belittle the win as “easy,” NBNHMR is a known decimator of Happy Chaos players and a top Strive competitor in his own right, which makes a win that dominant even more impressive. https://twitter.com/tradewarhj/status/1688360900363763712 So after winning a tournament with 2,474 entrants, a new record for Guilty Gear and topping Evo 2022’s biggest output despite being dwarfed by Street Fighter 6, Leffen is going to take a week off before deciding on his fighting game future. https://twitter.com/TSM_Leffen/status/1688360441784025088 Leffen has said on several occasions that he wasn’t going to be able to split his focus across Strive, Melee, and other games like SF6 so cutting at least one was an inevitability—and something that Tekken 7 Evo champ Arslan Ash also struggled with. He said he wants to continue competing in Melee and Strive, along with trying SF6 but is looking at it realistically. For now, he plans to continue playing SF6 to see if he can qualify for Capcom Cup, especially since he can compete online and not have to travel for it thanks to how the Capcom Pro Tour format, while “trying to find the best solution” for his competitive future. Read the full article