#not really a vent but eh

[fluffypuppy56]

Creature

⬆️

Big softy

[semitruckshrimp02]

me rn if you even care

[introverted-ghost]

My friend and I are like poppy and branch because I’m depressed and she never fucking listens to what I have to say

[localsharkcryptid]

It's late as hell but doodled this on a whim - idk I've managed to get myself back into monster hunter and I've just been thinking about Chaotic Gore Magala and myself and the weird similarities I've realized between my life and this guy's existence. Big explanation under the cut - it's kinda heavy so read at your own discretion.

I don't talk about it here for obvious reasons but this is a one off cause idk, I wanna talk about it under this context. But basically I've been through some shit, I've been battered by life and have been dealing with grief since I was 12 - and I'm now going through it again. I'm damaged cause of it, I'm not where I should be as a person, I don't function like I should both thanks to neurodivergency and the trauma that's kept my brain from properly developing and learning skills for adult life for some 8 years or so. And only recently have I been going to therapy again and working on healing after the most recent incident in my life - so I'm recognizing things and slowly slowly healing but I can't help being frustrated especially lately.

And now I can't help but now look at this monster from a video game about hunting them and see myself in a way. For those who don't know, Gore Magala normally is a monster which goes through a metamorphosis of sorts - they shed their black and purple scales and grow into a brilliant golden beast, the shining eclipse, Shagaru Magala. But sometimes something goes wrong, whether it be trauma or something else and the Gore Magala can't shed properly. They become malformed, into the chimeric creature that is Chaotic Gore Magala - a monster in eternal agony as it is an abomination and thus an outcast by its own kind.

I merely assume this but for me, I'd like to think its endless rage is also fueled by the fact that it has to be confused, lost and alone. It doesn't know what's going on, why it's like this, why the world scorns it for something it can't control. It endures the pain of its existence, the scars from its malformation and maybe it screams at the world cause it wants to know why it lived. Why is it here? Why does it hurt? What is it supposed to do? It lashes out at anything it finds, maybe out of rage, maybe out of fear - who knows.

Its broken, but survives regardless. It persists despite it all and I do just see myself in a way. We both don't know what's going on, damaged permanently by things we couldn't control but we continue on.

And I'm healing, slowly, very slowly but I am and I can't help but wonder- what if a Chaotic Gore can heal too? What happens if it does? Does it still shed it's black scales and turn fully gold or does it remain an oddity with dark shelled scales that are cracked with gold and a single glinting horn? I'd like to think the latter would be true. That it learns to adapt and live with its odd form, that one day the pain eases so it can truly come into the world as the apex it was meant to be - even if it wasn't how it was supposed to do so. And if it can find a place in the world after beating the odds of surviving the pain, then maybe I can find my place too.

Idk it's all a little silly, and not exactly fitting 100% - I'm far less angry at the world most of the time but still... I think I might have a new favorite monster, even if it's for some odd reasons, I do relate in a weird way to this guy- I may make something of this we'll see I guess.

[lieutenant-fred]

Thinking about that time my friend outed me as trans to the teacher that runs our arts club, and yet she still misgenders me now.

She remembered for long enough just to tell someone else, and still calls me a she after.

I still think about that, it keeps me up at night.

[funkytoesart]

you can always tell the people who give social media advice who are naturally or conventionally attractive even without even having to look at a photo of them cause they're always the ones that recommend showing your face in reels or videos to promote your art and it's like,,, talk about pretty/skinny privilege lol

[jacenotjason]

why is my life a gachalife series wdym my emotionally abusive ex from like two seasons ago is back

[kittieshauntedourfantasy]

When you see a headcanon so wrong you start tweakin and hit up the three person gc

[lieutenantselnia]

In the past months every now and then I've been feeling kind of conflicted about my art and it actually just annoys me

Like, sometimes I'm happy, and even when I look back at a drawing after a while I still like it, but sometimes it's just ... I think what bothers me is that it just feels ... boring to me? It's not necessarily that I find it "bad" or "ugly" (though that can vary depending on the piece, sometimes it just doesn't want to turn out right - that happens and it's okay), it's more that I feel like ... it's missing a certain something. The spark that makes people (including myself - or actually especially myself) go "wow, that's a cool piece of art" or "the line art/lighting/colours/[insert other aspect] stands out particularly well", that I feel when I look at other people's artworks. Like, I feel that sometimes there's just nothing special or interesting or ... artful about it.

I don't think it even has to do so much with validation from others, it's more like that I'm dissatisfied with myself. It's just ... eh idk

[stardusteyes]

Soooo..

Guess what I had the mixed fortune of hearing about recently.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

*sigh* 😔 Between Sparrow and Lincoln I just can't seem to catch a break from seeing shitty takes about my beloveds...

[iciatheguardess]

Life is rough sometimes

Stick with good people and cut out the toxic ones

May not feel like it's getting better but, it will eventually. Always remember that

And if it feels like it's not getting better

Just make fictional characters kiss 👍

[librarian-computer]

Is it bad that I want to draw gore of myself-

Edit:

Going to specify here

I want to draw me

Or one of my personas

Undergoing physical trauma, gore, body horror, hanging from nooses, guts, maggots, rotting, etc

I don’t know if me

Wanting to draw ME

With all that

Is bad or not

I don’t entirely think so?

But I usually don’t do that… I just

FEEL like drawing it

Like I WANT to draw myself in those situations of suffering

I don’t really know why

[kissingarthurclaus]

Bro IMAGINE saying it's queerphobic to have the gall to not enjoy seeing shipping of characters who are literally genetically identical, refer to each other as brothers, and are the closest things to family they have 😂😂😂😂

[gemharvest]

How many times can I go "I feel like ass but it's fine I'll be fine" until it becomes hollow to everyone around me. BHASJGFNJFGNK

[vividrogue]

The Body is a case of thorns