#not ready for the breakdown he will probably have after the execution

[shmules]

thinking about how chapter 2 part 2 will probably open with my gorgeous perfect princess charles cuevas

[syndrossi]

resonant ch29 dvd commentary

Very belated, but since ch30 is right around the corner (aka tomorrow), I figured I should get this written!

Favorite line(s):

It's a tossup between:

“Your uncle has not wronged me. Please spare him your wroth.”

Because angry/fierce/protective eight-year-olds summoning the king to answer for his perceived crimes was the very first thing I imagined when writing this chapter, even if we didn't actually get to see it!

And then:

Daemon’s hands clenched around fistfuls of blanket as his heart stuttered again in his chest, light and hollow, a chill emanating from it that left him trembling for what felt like minutes, eyes fixed on his sword, which had been propped against the bed table. There is only death here.

Because one of the more fun (for me, not Daemon) things to write recently has been all the ways the candle has fucked up and continues to fuck with Daemon. It's so sneaky and insidious, I love it, even if I seem to be mostly alone in that. 😅

Favorite detail(s):

Again, all the ways that Daemon is not okay in this chapter, and even under siege, in ways that he can't even fight against. The way the candle's words seamlessly meld into his own thoughts/fears. My main goal in 29-30 has been to introduce a subtle sense of unease to every Daemon POV.

But I also had a ton of fun writing the Caraxes + hatchlings bit, especially their family lamb roast and Jon learning that sometimes your dragon having a snack makes you hungry.

Favorite dynamic:

The twins navigating Daemon's fragile state. Jon starts off very bull-in-a-china-shop, much to Rhaegar's dismay, but they effectively defuse the worst of it.

Also Rhaegar saving Allard's life by lying and claiming that Crayne threatened Lady Lynda.

Quick hitters:

Wondering if readers are less into the current direction of the fic or finally getting fatigued by the slow pace. The comment totals have been pretty consistent per chapter after the expected drop-off once HOTD S2 finished airing, but ch29 had two-thirds the normal response. (It feels like very first-world writer problems, since I'm fortunate to have so many people commenting to begin with, but I definitely notice when there's a seeming "off" chapter!)

I'm hoping it's the latter, because I was so pleased with the 28-30 stretch!

The biggest struggle this chapter was writing the damned City Watch scene. I went into it all excited because hey, Jon getting to maybe do Little Lord Commander shenanigans, but it's a lot harder in practice/execution than theory, especially when the stakes are this high. The conversation itself was written/rewritten probably a half-dozen times before I was reasonably happy with it.

Daemon finally learning about Ser Thoren was originally written to happen in the Watch barracks, but the setting wasn't right for it, so I cut it entirely. When they returned to the apartments, I realized that it made for a much more natural place for Daemon to have a breakdown.

Daemon's breakdown toward the end is triggered by a combination of hearing about the boys being in peril, helpless, and the Trident vibes of Rhaegar being dragged to the stream banks by Crayne.

It seems like a useful thing that Caraxes's behavior can confirm that there's something wrong with Daemon, but that has disturbing implications of its own.

I just love writing about the hatchlings. Full stop. I will never be afraid to interrupt the angst for some hatchling shenanigans.

Sometimes, someone worries about precisely the right thing in a comment and it's so satisfying.

We are so close to being able to advance the clock a bit and I'm ready for it. Y'all, Larys is almost here! With Ser Kelwyn maybe a week behind him.

[scotianostra]

On January 31st 1788 Prince Charles Edward Stewart died in Palazzo Muti, Rome, he was 67.

A longer than normal post, but he had a profound affect on events in Scotland, so it's merited......

Well he actually died the day before, but you’ll need to read the post in full as to why history gives this date!

With Bonnie Prince Charlie featuring in a number of my posts throughout the year I will cover the latter part of his life today, basically after Culloden.

When Prince Charles escaped from the battlefield at Culloden, he left almost all his personal possessions behind. During the months that followed he was hunted by government forces throughout the western Highlands and Isles. He was helped by many loyal followers, and this period gave rise to some of the most enduring myths of the rising.

I think it shows the loyalty he was given by the Highlanders that he managed to evade capture, over the five months after Culloden and no doubt execution. He was sheltered, smuggled from hiding place to hiding place, and given clothes and other items, by Gaels who risked their own safety to help him.

Charles eventually escaped to France and then Rome. Many of his followers were captured and some executed. Others were forced into exile and had their lands forfeited. The government was determined to eliminate the Jacobite cause once and for all.

The Highlands were disarmed and even highland dress was banned for a time. The breakdown of the clan system accelerated, while improved roads and forts led to more effective government control of remoter areas.

On reaching the safety of France Charlie sked King Louis XV for 20,000 more soldiers to help "finish the job”. The myth propagated by his Hanoverian enemies was that Prince Charlie abandoned Scotland after Culloden. The memorandum written by the Prince to the King of France on 5th November 1746 provides evidence, in the Prince’s own hand, that directly contradicts this myth.

In the letter,seen in the third pic, the Prince wrote: “I never lacked Scottish subjects ready to fight. What I did simultaneously lack was money, supplies and a handful of regular troops; with but one of these three, I would today still be master of Scotland and probably the whole of England."

He goes on to claim he could have marched into London “unopposed" after his clear victory over General Cope’s troops at Prestonpans in September 1745 had he 3,000 more soldiers under his command.

At the time, Duke of Cumberland and the British Army were then in Flanders fighting the French and their allies in the Austrian War of Succession.

Things turned sour for Charles when the French and English reached a peace deal, where they recognised the right of King George and his successors to sit on the British throne, ending their support for the Stuart cause. Prince Charles was then expelled from France.

As far as the French Government were concerned, Prince Charles and his Highland supporters had served their purpose as pawns in their wider political game. The Prince had now become an embarrassment to them and was of no further value. Not that the peace lasted that long, both countries were at it again within ten years.

At one stage, accepting the fact that as a Catholic he was unlikely to ever be crowned King Charles indicated to his followers he was willing to become a Protestant in order to accede to the throne. In 1750 he visited London incognito, staying at a safe house near Holborn and converted to Protestantism by receiving Anglican Communion. But due to his increasingly brusque and argumentative manner he managed to alienate himself from the French foreign minister in 1759 who was planning an invasion of England in the midst of the Seven Years’ War between Britain and France. After Prince Charles’ father James III died in 1766, Pope Clement XIII recognised James as King of England, Scotland and Ireland but did not bestow the same title on his son Prince Charles.

Over the decades as he grew older and bitter about his lost cause he turned to alcohol as his dream for restoring his lineage faded.

The Prince is known to have travelled around Europe in the years that followed, trying to garner support for another tilt at regaining the crown for the Stuarts, Often using an alias, he spent a couple of years in Basel, Switzerland as W. Thompson physician and ‘gentillhomme Anglais.’ He later spent time in Florence in 1774, where he was provided with a residence by Prince Corsini, he used the alias Count of Albany at this time. Charles's health deteriorated in later life, and he was reported to have suffered from asthma, high blood pressure, swollen legs and ulcers. He suffered constantly from his illnesses, which required him to be carried by his servants to and from his carriage.

After separating, she claimed that Charles had physically abused her. This claim was generally believed by contemporaries. The historian Douglas states that Charles had been drinking following Saint Andrew's Day celebrations, and after accusing Louise of infidelities, may have attempted to rape her, resulting in her screaming to the extent that the household servants intervened. In the years that followed, the pope awarded Louise half of Charles's papal pension, and Charles's international reputation was greatly damaged. He was said to live an increasingly isolated and unhappy life, especially after his brother Henry agreed to house Louise at his estate.

By 1783 his health was deteriorating swiftly to the extent that during one bout of illness he was giver the last rites. Although Charles recovered, he agreed to create a new will, and signed an act of legitimation for his illegitimate daughter Charlotte. Charles also gave her the title "Duchess of Albany" in the peerage of Scotland and the style "Her Royal Highness", but these honours did not give Charlotte any right of succession to the throne. His daughter stayed with him until his death, she herself only lived for less than two years dying unmarried at Bologna in November 1789

Charles died in Rome of a stroke on 30th January 1788, the cardinals stated officially that he died on the morning of 31st January, as it was deemed unlucky to have him declared dead on the same date as his great-grandfather, King Charles I, who of course was covered in an extensive post yesterday.

On his death, a cast of his face was made, and his body was embalmed and placed in a coffin of cypress wood. Adorned with the Order of the Thistle, the Cross of St Andrew, the Order of the Garter and the Cross of St George

On Charles’s death in 1788, his brother, Henry Benedict, became the Jacobite Henry IX of England and I of Scotland, it was with him that the direct, legitimate line ended on his death in 1807. By this time the beleaguered cardinal, who had witnessed the French Revolution (and lost the financial support of his Bourbon cousin in the process) had begun receiving an annual pension of £4,000 from George III – yes, from the very Hanoverian monarch or, in Jacobite terminology ‘usurper’, that his father and brother had fought so hard, and at such great cost, to remove from the British throne. Henry, unlike his father and brother, did not press his claim.

There is an interesting article about Charles in the Scotsman from a year ago, unlike most of the posts I have read about him in the newspaper it is actually very sympathetic and defends him in some ways, it is quite scathing towards Diana Gabaldon‘s Outlander, not all of which is deserved in my own point of view, the show, and books , are after all a work of fiction, and only draw on actual events.

https://www.scotsman.com/.../outlander-promotes-a-deeply...

[reds-skull]

Hi sending this as an ask so you can answer it whenever it’s convenient.

The Hunter (and his men) knew way to fucking much about Simon and it was fucking creepy (great job!). The only person I can think of who would have that info and motive to go after Ghost would be Roba. He’d have the knowledge and hatred of Ghost and it would take time to build back his forces after Ghost dismantled them the first time. Turning and placing moles, building up a loyal army with enough money to hire Ghost not to mention the (red)skull motif and his apparent age. I know I’m probably wrong but is fun to guess and I’m super excited to find out what’s going on regardless.

I really liked this fic and I’m sad it’s almost over Ghost and Soaps relationship through the whole fic was handled really well and I think felt organic. From their first meeting (Soap was feral and Ghost didn’t know what to think lol) to Soap repeatedly saving Ghost’s life (metaphorically and literally) to eventually finally trusting each other (and those around them) and realising their mutual feelings.

Gaz is the best friend ever and is not paid nearly enough to put up with Soaps (and now Ghosts) bullshit. The man was ready to throw down if needed but still listened to trusted and trusted Soaps judgment, meanwhile Price is having multiple nervous breakdowns (respect) and is still keeping is children men inline and on task. He feels so guilty about failing Simon and MacTavish when it wasn’t even his fault both times to begin with it was out of his hands. This time though he’ll save them.

It’ll be interesting to see what Laswell turns up with after she finishes hunting down their leak… I almost feel sorry for whoever it was.

I loved the parallels between the story and the snippets of poem, that was so well done and cool! Am I correct in reading that you wrote those poems yourself? Because I didn’t realise till I got to the end note and wow i don’t even have words… I thought they were off some old poetry anthology I’d never head about and was going to look it up to read it.

Hi! Thank you a lot of the kind words <3

I do like your theory about Roba being the Hunter, and I do agree it would be the only logical option for their real identity... if it weren't for the poems.

I'm so happy you found Soap and Ghost's relationship dynamic organic, it was a part I struggled with, and I'm not sure that I managed to execute exactly as I wanted haha

I feel so bad for Gaz and Price in this AU, unfortunately everyone kinda got the short end of the stick with how the turn of events meant the 141 was never fully formed...

I don't plan on showing exactly what happens to the rat Laswell eventually finds, but you can be assured they'll probably suffer. She can definitely be scary when she feels the need to.

And I'm so so glad you mentioned the poems! Yeah, I wrote them but I was heavily inspired by a specific collection of English poems from the 10th century (the correct word for it is a codex actually but it's basically a collection). I'll be going in depth about what exactly is going on there in the post script, because it's basically another story I told in parallel to the main one in the fic. And I'll certainly give the name of the codex so you can read it, it's a little complicated to understand because it had to be translated from Middle English (and apparently every word there can be interpreted in like 3 different ways, not to mention the amount of missing pages and possible mistakes from copyists, but that's part of the course with books from over 1000 years ago...). The stories told there, and the language they used to convey them, is really unique and beautiful in my opinion.

I was kinda sad when no one seemed to bring it up, I figured most people just skipped them or they were just sort of too confusing lol, which is why I'll basically explain what I wanted the reader to understand from them in the post script (which I plan on posting at the same time as the last chapter, unlike with Not Alive, Nor Dead). The post script will also have a timeline for the fic, and how exactly it diverges from canon, as well as the deleted scenes and an extra poem I couldn't fit in the fic.

For now, I'll say the true identity of the Hunter is tied to those poems, and their character wouldn't really make sense if you skip them...

[burningthrucelluloid]

Christmas Carol-cember, Day 20

There are movies that feel like someone came up with them as an elevator pitch.

Movies where someone literally ran into an elevator with a Hollywood producer and made their pitch fast and quick that, by the time the elevator reached the desired floor, that producer already wrote a check and told you to have it ready within a year.

Movies like “A Quiet Place,” where the pitch was no doubt “monsters attack people if they’re noisy so people have to be absolute silent to survive.”

In this case, I get the feeling the pitch for this movie was “Bill Murray is Scrooge in modern day New York.”

The producer probably took one look at the person, blinked once or twice and then pulled out the checkbook, wrote a number down, handed the check and said “Here’s $32 million, including a $6 million fee for Murray. Have it ready by Thanksgiving.”

At least that��s how I imagined it. 

This film was the brainchild of former SNL writers Mitch Glazer and Michael O’Donoghue as well as the mind behind “The Omen,” “The Goonies,” “Lethal Weapon” and the film that redefined action blockbusters, 1978’s “Superman.” Bill Murray was their first and only choice as Glazer and O’Donoghue had been talking about a film like this during an acting hiatus Bill Murray took after the success of Ghostbusters. While Bill was interested in the idea, he would only go for it if the director and cast was to his liking, leading to a lot of scenes Murray insisted on with actors who might not have been entirely up for it, nor would Murray as he inhaled fake snow that damaged his nasal passages as well as the real beatings he took from Carol Kane on set. That’s not even getting into the scenes that was filmed for the movie or scenes that were written by Glazer and O’Donoghue that were completely cut, which pissed off O’Donoghue something fierce as, even to this day, the man still declares the finished film is “a piece of sh*t"

While the film was a modest hit on release, contemporary critics at the time were very hard on the film, citing it removed the good cheer and joy of the story and made a very cynical holiday film.

Did they have a point? Let’s take a look.

Frank Cross (Bill Murray) is a fast-talking, cut-throat television station president who is driving his employees hard in order to air an over the top and raunchy version of A Christmas Carol to air on Christmas Eve. He’s hard on his assistant Grace (Alfre Woodward) who would rather be home to care for her traumatized son Calvin (Nicolas Phillips), sends expensive gifts to the TV higher-ups while sends complimentary towels to everyone else and fires an executive named Eliot (Bobcat Goldthwait) for daring to speak up and challenge him as this poor guy goes on a rollercoaster of a bad day. 

In short, this is Bill Murray at his Bill Murray-ist.

After taking a break to nurse a headache and drink, he’s mysteriously visited by his mentor, the rotting corpse of Lew Hayward (John Forsythe), here to deliver a dire warning to Cross that he risks becoming as forgotten and despised as he was. He delivers his warning of the ghosts to haunt him and then gets Frank to call his ex-girlfriend Claire (Karen Allen), who runs a homeless shelter but clearly still feels something for Frank.

On the day of the broadcast, Frank has his hands full: Eliot is on a rampage after a mental breakdown, a wannabe executive named Brice (John Glover) is clearly ramping to take over the station from Frank and Frank is confronted with the ghosts of Christmas who take him away at the most unexpected moments and reveal themselves as the most unexpected ways. The Ghost of Christmas Past (David Johansen) is a chain-smoking cab driver who knows all the roads in and out of the city, even taking roads that go back in time. The Ghost of Christmas Present (Carol Kane) is a chipper fairy who loves to lay the smackdown on Frank while dragging him around the city. As for the Ghost of Christmas Future? Well, I’m pretty sure that tall dude with the TV screen face and wailing haunts under the robes aren’t part of the broadcast…

It’s rather surprising how much of watching this film felt very, well, modern.

Weird as that is to say, the way the film tackles industry BS and the talks of being “bold and hip” while contradicting the story feels like themes that are just as modern today as it was in 1988. The fact the 2022 “Spirited” was even calling attention to this is proof of that.

Yet even that said, I can understand where that criticism from the time came from.  This is a film that is baked in ugliness. From the ghosts to the backroom meetings to the sarcastic biting dialogue, it’s a film that is deeply rooted in the cynicism of an industry that has lost faith or passion for the Christmas spirit. Even the television ad for the television special within the movie is rooted in fear-mongering to entice viewers, complete with images of people shooting up heroin and a nuclear explosion.

And yet? That kind of works with the environment the film is set in as well as the dog-eat-dog world of television.

It’s an environment where Bill Murray’s character has clearly been shaped by this and his cold, sarcastic cruelty is his rationalization for his success. It also should not be any surprise to know Bill Murray excels in the role as he might be the most manic “Scrooge” thus far. Even with all the ghostly hauntings happening around him, he acts so out there and wild around others, you kind of feel for his co-workers thinking if he has snapped.

Course that manic energy carries throughout the film with a crazy cab driving ghost, a fairy ghost who smacks Bill Murray with a toaster and Eliot chases Frank around with a shotgun.

But that still circles back to how this movie takes the knowledge of its concepts and integrates them. That’s where Richard Donner’s direction keeps it concise and poignant, even when the dark edge threatens to take it over the line. Even with the movie not following the original screenplay intended, Donner finds a line between sentimentality, which often goes up against the dark edge the film sets for itself. Whether that bothers you or not is subjective, for me, it had moments where that tone clashed but Bill Murray’s performance kept itself from completely falling off.

I don’t dislike “Scrooged,” but every time I watch it around this season, I find myself getting less and less excited by it or enjoying it. I respect the filmmakers opting to make a less sappy film than something Frank Capra would have done, even if O’Donoghue swears the final product is nothing like what he wrote, but the cynical edge from it’s characters runs against it’s moments of joy. For all the declarations of joy and positivity to be better, in a dark cutthroat world like how this film depicts, I’m not so sure to believe this character would remain changed. 

But then again, perhaps that’s why this movie has it’s fans.

There is something palpable about someone who shines bright through joy even the the world seems bleak and unforgiving. Bill Murray, supposedly, improvised his entire speech, leaving Donner and the cast and crew around him stunned to figure out what to do in the speech. The comedy lands and it is perhaps the most modern feeling version of this story that feels like it speaks to a generation who probably felt Christmas was a commercial racket.

If you liked it, fine, more power to ya. But for me? I’m not exactly planning to watch this again next year. 

Course this wasn’t exactly a week to feel festive while being cynical. I can’t balance that very well either. So much stuff to move...

“Scrooged” is free to watch on PlutoTV but can be streamed on Amazon Prime, Paramount+, Hulu and YouTube.

Next time, we take a wild turn and cover an adaptation where Scrooge…raps? What the dickens?

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

While we're on the subject what do you think would have happened if it was Carlisle who came back after Bella's cliff diving? Maybe he happened to be closer to Forks or Alice was in another country and called him to go check on her (or whatever it was she hoped to accomplish by going to Forks) Would he nope out after seeing Bella's alive or would he stick around, become concerned about her wellbeing?

The post anon is referencing, where Rosalie comes back instead of Alice, things get hilarious and awkward. Edward never attempts suicide in Volterra.

So, Why Didn't Carlisle Come Back?

He didn't know.

For plot convenient reasons, he and Esme were out of the house at the time, and it was Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett by themselves.

Alice had her vision, heads down to Forks to see Bella's grave/catch the funeral, Rosalie decides to man up and tell Edward around the time that Alice reaches Forks.

(It probably takes her quite a few times to actually get a hold of Edward.)

I believe Carlisle is supposed to be absent from the time Alice gets the news until the Italy debacle is nearly over. He and Esme come back to everything on fire, Edward very likely to be executed for breaking the law in Volterra itself, and Edward having attempted suicide period.

By the time he gets there, it's known Bella's actually alive.

However, had he been home earlier, had he been there in the period where they thought Bella was in fact dead, I believe he would have travelled with Alice back to Forks.

Well, he would have tried to make the family come. This girl was important to Edward, important to their lives, of course they're showing up for the goddamn funeral.

Rosalie would throw a fit, Jasper would be an emotional wreck (likely feeling somehow complicit in all of this), Esme would be an emotional wreck for what this means for Edward, Emmett would be very awkward, and all in all Carlisle would wonder if, perhaps, he should have left the family at home.

Point being, Carlisle would absolutely have come back, but he probably would not have been alone.

But this is AU world, let's say he did.

Carlisle Returns Alone

His family is imploding, he leaves them behind, he'll tell them when the funeral is.

Alice doesn't come with him because Edward has to be told and Alice is the best one to do it. Alice really doesn't want to, but Carlisle insists, no, Edward has to know and best it comes from Alice who was her best friend.

And Rosalie, bless her heart, lacks the tact.

(Rosalie is mildly offended but agrees, probably best Alice does it).

So Carlisle returns alone, opens the door, "Oh, hello Bella."

Carlisle gets to awkwardly explain that, you see, Alice thought you had died. Neither he nor Bella have any explanation for this. Jake, meanwhile, wants Dr. Cullen out and is giving his "how dare you speech"

Unlike Rosalie, Carlisle sticks around and finds out the awful truth.

Bella is being hunted by vampires, the town of Forks is under siege by Victoria, and apparently the presence of vampires triggers the wolf transformation and so now half the Quileute tribe under the age of 18 is a shape shifter and it's all his family's fault.

Oh, and Bella did just attempt suicide, but isn't admitting it. She just likes jumping off cliffs now because, well, she might be hallucinating Edward? That's normal, right?

Carlisle goes to stand in a corner and breathe in a paper bag.

Carlisle goes into emergency mode.

He gives Bella the pep talk of a lifetime and explains why the family left and what they were trying to accomplish with this. He gets the not so good details of exactly how Edward broke up with her. He returns to breathing in a bag.

Then he gets the phone call.

Alice... may have fucked up.

Edward didn't take the news well, he's decided to kill himself in Volterra, and the only way to stop him is if Bella Swan shows up to stop him in person.

Carlisle speed dials Aro, Aro is delighted to hear from his old friend, except that the conversation is Carlisle's stressed screaming. Carlisle gives Aro the fast version: he's made a coven, his son is coming to ask for assisted suicide, he has a human girlfriend (yes, Carlisle knows, no he doesn't like it, THAT'S NOT THE POINT, ARO) Carlisle asks, for the love of god, stall Aro and Carlisle will be there as soon as he can (yes, with the human girlfriend).

Aro is delighted at the prospect of seeing Carlisle but also a little weirded out. Alright, Carlisle, he'll pretend to humor this Edward and stall him.

So, Aro does, and he does it with magnificence. The throne room is filled with incense, Aro is back in Myceenaen garb, and the only light is from candles. The ambiance is spectacular.

While the Volturi will not assist Edward's suicide, they will grant him a wish, should he pass through the Volturi's three trials. Only then will he be worthy of the highest and most ancient honors.

Edward eats this up. HE IS READY FOR HIS TRIALS.

The first is a trial of strength, he must wrestle Caius and win. Well, unfortunately, he loses. Aro tells Caius that he has to let Edward win, if he gets too frustrated, there's no telling what this kid will do. Caius refuses to lose to this punk.

Aro has to bribe him.

This continues up until Carlisle and Bella finally arrive.

Carlisle gets to witness the madness that is Aro and Edward playing chess in this room filled with incense and candles. Aro abruptly calls everything off and gives the three some privacy.

Carlisle has had the world's worst day and lays into Edward. Edward's processing Bella's alive, human, and that nothing is going his way. It's a giant mess.

Aro returns and goes, "So, onto the real trouble, Bella Swan is human."

Unfortunately, Alice isn't there with them, so Aro doesn't have his out. Aro concludes that Bella Swan will be turned in Italy, though she may leave afterwards with Carlisle and Edward.

As for this Victoria situation, well, Aro and associates will keep an eye on it.

Edward loses his shit. With Carlisle right there. Carlisle gets to witness Edward's Full Edward mental breakdown.

It's a disaster and the flight home from Volterra is the most awkward thing in the world.

However, because the law was enacted and Bella didn't return home human, Caius is much more appeased. He still doesn't like Carlisle, and certainly not Edward, but he's no longer concerned Aro lacks the will to enforce his own laws.

The plot of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn do not happen.

Bella and Edward likely do not end up together, as Edward is eaten alive by guilt at having been responsible for Bella now being a vampire. This makes Bella miserable, but such is life.

At least she's a Cullen now.

[catboyantichrist]

Hi there! Can you please do relationship headcanons of a gender neutral MC with autism and ADHD dating the seven brothers? I’d love to see more positive writing of a neurodivergent MC and how each of the brothers would love and respect them regardless of their disabilities. Feel free to do this if you want to. If not, that’s ok! Have a great day! 😁👍🌷🌹🌺🌸🌼🌻🌷🌹🌻🌼🌸🌺

This ask literally made me squeal- my neurodivergent ass is gonna have way too much fun with this- LMAO Just a warning, I'm basing this mainly off of my personal experiences (I have ADHD and am possibly getting tested for atypical autism in the future.). Ill try to be as broad as possible but I'd just like to give a heads up.

Just know that if you don't relate to this post or something in it, that doesn't mean you aren't valid! Everyone experiences neurodivergencey differently ^^

☆The Brothers Dating A GN!MC With Autism & ADHD☆

Day-to-day life has always been a struggle. As it feels like no human truly understands why you function the way you do. From bosses, to teachers, to neurotypical friends. Life can feel draining and like a chore when you're living in a world that doesn't function the way you do.

Then your world literally changes. You're in the devildom now. Most people would be terrified that they're living in a house full of demons. But you weren't. You felt like you finally belonged, and eventually you finally found love. Something that people assumed you'd never be able to find. Well jokes on them because your lover treats you with so much respect and kindness, and of course you do the same. This is some of what your lover does that just makes your heart spin:

Lucifer:

-Much to your dismay, before Lucifer started to get to know you he was similar to the humans you've encountered in the past. This doesn't last long though as one of the brothers (most likely Leviathan or Mammon) try to explain. He begins to go a bit easier on you, and also falls for you.

-When you guys start dating, he makes it his goal to help make your day-to-day life easier. Dare I say, he takes pride in it. (Hahahah aren't I funny?)

-He notices how you need a schedule to function, but how much you hate schedules. So with your permission, he makes a loose schedule and follows it WITH you. It simultaneously helps you function more than usual, and it helps Lucifer take breaks when he needs to.

-You two begin to do everything together, as doing stuff together and holding each other accountable is a lot easier than doing it alone

-If someone ever dares to make a rude comment about you Lucifer will um... "take care of them".

-If you ever get overstimulated from the environment you're in, Lucifer keeps his office wide open as a quiet place for you. He keeps a weighted blanket, some headphones and any stim toys you usually use in a corner of his office. If you're not comfortable with them out in the open he'll keep them in a special box somewhere in his office that others can't get into.

Mammon:

-Executive Dysfunction gang! The both of you are relieved that you understand each other and some dumbass wont just go "jUsT gEt Up aNd dO iT!"

-If you guys are struggling with it at different times, you'll try to help each other do small tasks that require very limited effort so that one of you don't get overwhelmed and stressed out. If its a particularly difficult day, you'll just stay there to support the other if they want that.

-If both of you are struggling that day, you do nothing ✨together✨ and just vibe with each others company.

-This man brings you shiny things. They don't even have to be worth anything, they're just shiny. You proceed to do the same. You two now have a designated spot for shiny things you bring each other. If you have an interest in art, you and him will probably end up using the shiny objects as art projects.

-A LOT of impulse shopping. You guys enable each other. Although you quickly realize that you impulse shop for each other. Every second day you end up bringing each other gifts and laughing about it after.

Leviathan:

-Y'know that arm thing two neurodivergent people do when they find out that the other person is neurodivergent? Yeah you two did that. And still continue to do that. It's your greeting now.

-You two spend tons of time either cuddling and talking about your special interests together, or both of you are pacing around Levi's room talking about your special interests together.

-And if you end up having the same special interest?? Oh man the serotonin you two both get just being AROUND each other.

-If you have a hard time around tons of people (in general or just at certain times) he's more than willing to share his room with you and for you two to do online school together. I mean hey, doing school by yourself online is difficult. (Even if it's more comfortable for you both)

-Will he get you a matching pair of noise cancelling headphones if you have auditory sensory issues, or if you just like the pressure on your head. (I don't know if that's a neurodivergent thing but I will wear my headphones just so that I feel some sort of pressure on my head)

-You both communicate what you need, and whether you need alone time or not. Making sure not to trigger any form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria for eachother.

Satan:

-If you were one of those neurodivergent kids that spent all of their time in the library, going through books like wildfire in middle school, get ready for that to be reignited.

-You two will read together all the time, and if you're having a day where you're more fidgety and don't wanna stay still, Satan is more than happy reading to you while you pace around.

-Satan has a natural curiosity, and loves to learn about anything that he doesn't already know about. So if you have a special interest about your own neurodivergency, he is more than happy to listen to you ramble about your life experiences and symptoms.

-Honestly, it doesn't even have to be about neurodivergency, Satan is happy to listen and learn about anything you're interested currently.

-If you aren't big on physical affection from humans or, well... humanoid people, that's perfectly fine! That's what animals are for! He'll take you to a cat cafe and will enjoy spending time with the animals with you.

-Similar to Lucifer, if anyone makes a comment about the way you act, they wont live to see another day. Unlike Lucifer, the demons who say these comments don't even finish their sentence. They're dead before MC blinks.

Asmodeus:

-When Asmodeus finds out that you have sensory issues that affect what you wear, he decides to hand-make clothes with fabrics of your choice. He has no issue with you prioritizing comfort over appearance, but if you want to put effort into your appearance and texture is stopping you, he's more than happy to design some stuff for you.

-Asmodeus has always been a touchy person, but if you aren't comfortable with that he'd never force you to cuddle. If you are interested in physical affection one of his favourite things to do is put makeup on your face, or just touch your face.

-Speaking of which, if you ever impulsively cut your hair whether it be from breakdown, normal impulsivity, or sensory issues with your hair being longer. He'll always help you cut your hair. He wants to make sure that once you cut it, you wont regret it the next day.

-Depending on whether you like going outside or not (or if its depending on the day) he's more than happy to take you to the fall! He'll make sure you're always comfortable and if you need the attention diverted from you if you need a break!

-If you don't like going outside, Asmo will dedicate certain nights for just you two to hang out. He can always energy match you. Hyperactive? Oh he's right there with you bouncing of the walls. Calmer? He doesn't mind just vibing with you. Comfort? Oh you've come to the right guy.

-Asmodeus is very emotionally intelligent, it may have originally been for the wrong purposes (charming others) but now he can use it to help you work through issues with socializing with others, past traumas from other people, he'll always do his best to support you as long as you'd do the same for him!

Beelzebub:

-Beel is always well meaning, but whether you're neurodivergent or neurotypical, communication is key with him. So, if you're unintentionally blunt to neurotypical people, that's exactly what Beel needs and wants. He knows you don't mean it out of harm, you're just trying to state your boundaries.

-Do you need a weighted blanket? This man will become the weighted blanket. He wants to make sure you're comfortable at all times!

-If you have trouble eating, Beel is here to help. If you take meds for ADHD and they make you lose your appetite, or just general forgetfulness, he'll remind you to have at least some sort of small snack throughout the day. Nothing too filling, just enough so that you aren't running on zero food throughout the day.

-All the go-to and comfort foods that you had in the human world? Beel would make it his MISSION to get them, and TONS of it too. It's the only food in the house he wont eat because he knows how important it is to you. He will tear up a bit if you offer to share though.

-If you're in a hyperactive mood, or anxious, Beel will convince you to do some light exercise with him to help calm you down

Belphegor:

-If you have trouble sleeping, Belphie will definitely try and help. Ranging from cuddling, aroma therapy, getting Beel to do exercise with you. To more magical means (if you're comfortable with it) like sleeping powder.

-If you just have a different internal clock than the average person, that's fine too! It may be permanent but that's okay- Belphie will sleep at any time with you.

-Isn't generally a social person so if you're not that big of a fan of social interaction you don't have to worry. Belphie would even do online school with you!

-He would let you use his pillows and blankets to stim if that's something you're interested in. He'd also listen to you ramble about your interests while doing so! As long as you don't mind him talking about the stars afterwards.

-Definitely the most blunt out of his brothers, so communication wouldn't be an issue between you two. If his bluntness is a bit too harsh for you he'll try to tone it down a bit, but it would probably just end up as him trying to explain the reasoning behind the bluntness and how it's not out of harm.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Ml Meta analysis: Adriens current absents, season 4 structure and theory on whats to come

Here I am back again with my endless rambling.

I'm just as worried for our cat son as everyone else (maybe even more) which is why I tried figuring out for my own sanity why he is so absent currently.

Upfront I wanna warn yall that I wrote this post in one rush this night and therefore had no time to do alot of editing. So things can probably get a bit more messy than usual but I tried to write it clearly, while writing 2 other ml essays as well. This is the one drawback of having so many episodes in such a short time, I have no time to write my posts x3 I had another theory planned for before Optigami airs but I don't think I can manage before tomorrow.

But let's not waste any more time. Grab a snack and here we go:

It's 2am right now but I think I just realized why Adrien/Chat Noir is being sidelined so much recently.

Sure, yes, it'll come into play in the very obviously set up Ladynoir drama later on but what I wanna talk about now is more the structure of how s4 is most likely written in terms of both Marinettes and Adriens side of the story. And then deep dive a little on why I think so.

You see season 4 is now reaping what has been built up from s1-s3, but this also includes that you have to take the time now to properly recreate the new possibilities out of the loose pieces of the broken status quo.

Seriously, season 4 has to handle and reinvent ALOT. The show got now officially announced to have 7 seasons, which is exactly the amount of seasons Astruc said they have story for. I couldnt find the official tweet from Thomas himself but I one from another source:

And now look take a look at the possible shows structure:

- s1-s3 was the first status quo and built up everything so now they can pay off after pay off while...

-... S4 is now the transitional season where the old status quo gets left behind as we work towards the new one.

-I have nothing to proof this of course, but in the same sense it would now make sense that s5-s7 where/are planned to play out under the final status quo. If I'm not wrong at first the show was under contract for 5 seasons, which would mean that after the transitional season 4 there was only 1 season of the final status quo for sure. Still, done right it could have been worth the wait. But this isn't where Miraculous will end. The show actually got the 7 seasons the creator wanted and THIS is how I think the long term plan makes the most sense. Nothing all too complicated but still hella effective in its execution.

But now back to our two main characters, because Marinettes and Adriens development are the two aspects that will raise the show to the intense heights of the s5-s7 status quo.

From s1-s3 Marinette was the active player but she was hardly involved with the actual PLOT of the show, since most of the plot and backstory of the show lies directly with the Agreste family. She only started to get her own plot when she literally created a new one by getting involved with the miraculous lore, because the closest Marinette got to the Agreste plot was "The collector".

Adrien in the other hand was always literally right in the middle of the plot but he wasn't enough of an active player to bring us further either.

Season 4 is now going to add the missing parts for both of them and as the very beginning of the season showed us: there are going to do it SEPERATLY.

This is why "Truth" and "Lies" have been structured the way they are (One Marinette-centric the other Adrien-centric). Yes, Marinette and Adrien are meant to end their story victoriously together, but they are simply not the people they have to be to become such a powerful team. Certain aspects of their journey they have to do... basically disconnected from the other one. The "Miracle Queen" endcard shows it quite nicely as well where they are heading now: away from each other.

Obviously the season started with Marinette growing into her new guardian status including everything miraculous related, since she is the main lead and because the new ways the episodes can now utilize everything Miraculous need to be established first before we deep dive into the messed up Agreste mystery.

So while I totally agree that it is annoying to get so little Adrien/Chat Noir content currently I also understand the practicality behind it. As I said, before s4 Marinette was the active main character who mostly didn't really have her own plot. So now adding her plot aspect and have her ACTIVELY figure everything needed out means that right now Marinette/Ladybug is the active focus main character who is solving a huge part of her s4 character arc. That simply drowns out Adrien as the currently still mostly-inactive secondary main character who, yes, may be right in the middle of the shows emotional + villain plot/lore/backstory, but that side of the story simply isn't in focus at the moment.

And I gotta say, I'm kinda glad they're doing it this way. Because I'm gonna be honest, when the season starts giving us Adrien/family Agreste episodes like "Lies" and "The collector" (in this case "Gabriel Agreste" for example) again, I don't want the narrative to be forced to spend time with something guardian lore based just because they didn't took their time to do it earlier.

So, as we see on the s4 episode raster "Gabriel Agreste" is episode 9. Honestly, I expect most of it (especially the ones near the beginning, so ep. 5 included) til that episode to be Marinette based the way everything else til now did (besides Lies obviously and Guilt trip didn't hardcore focus on Marinette/Ladybug either and that's because it's after "Gabriel Agreste") in the spirit of "Truth". It's just the needed set up from Marinettes side of the story and I can live with that.

Because we actually saw the change after "Gabriel Agreste" already in "Guilt trip".

I don't know why some people pretend like Chat almost cataclysming himself after hearing how guilt-eaten Nino is for Adriens sake isn't a huge indicator that the episodes afterwards will not only acknowledge but also DEAL with Adriens/Chats situation and problems. Remember, we are talking about CHAT NOIR here not Adrien Agreste. The show has always portrayed and acknowledged ADRIENS issues very straight forward and with the proper seriousness (especially when it comes to his family), whereas Chat Noir was often mostly used for comedic purposes with some exceptions of his problems being properly delt with (since Marinette/Ladybug was mostly oblivious to them, since Adrien keeps them hidden so well). But now in "Guilt trip" LADYBUG was confronted head-on with just how much negativity Chat has inside and how quickly and extremely he drowns in it.

Sure, correct, the episode also has his negativity "washed away" rather quickly by Ladybug opening up to him on how important he is to her

But this is in character for both of them as "Lies" very clearly showed us that the way BOTH OF THEM behave here is where the problem lies. There Ladybug was freaked out after Chat threw his life away once again but quickly accepted Chats very direct avoidance of the confrontation, since he seemed to be alright to her.

Something I also find noteworthy here is that Ladybugs dialog is "Seriously, you need to stop doing this to me!", which is.... a VERY Marinette-centric way of acknowledging the problem.

It completely shifts the issue away from Adriens extremely alarming self-harmful/suicidal tendencies and instead only calls out how it affects Marinette (whose feelings here are definitely valid, don't get me wrong!). It showcases perfectly how unaware Marinette still is of her partners inner tumult at that point and also parallels how Marinette called Adriens life "perfect" at the beginning of the episode (This is no shade towards Marinette, in general the entirety of "Lies" is about showing us just how harmful Adriens Chat Noir persona actually IS to him so these two moments of her being oblivious to Adriens and Chats immense problems very much fits into that episodes narrative and sets up what's about to come. I still have an entire essay in the making for "Lies" but, guys, it's just getting longer and longer. I suck xD).

So the fact that an episode after "Gabriel Agreste" brings this scenario back, just a little different but ALOT more revealing of Adriens immense problems to his partner, is VERY telling. Besides other things it tells us that this happens at the beginning of the arc that deals with (at least) Chats issues since Ladybug is still way too quickly too ready to accept her partner as "completely fine" again just because Chat makes it seem that way (while some negativity increasing guilt bubbles still to stick to him.).

And yet, others have already pointed it out that Ladybug IS noticing what Chat wanted to do and reacted accordingly...

she just didn't speak of it the way it is because it overwhelmed her, which calls back to Ladybugs "You have to stop doing this to me!" dialog.( For a great breakdown of her dialog HERE is a link to @flightfoot​ post)

In "Lies" Marinette was way too stressed by her new guardian role to even consider Chats side of it and therefore only spoke of her own, but in "Guilt trip" she's already past that stressful arc. So here she is immediately able to recognize Chats suicidal action for what it is, come to his (much needed) aid and lift her partners spirit the best she can by emotionally opening up to him (which is something we KNOW is incredibly hart for Marinette).

The difference between her reaction in "Lies" and in "Guilt trip" shows that Marinette has her guardian role already mostly handled and is now mentally able to be there for others again, so the extremely Marinette-centric "Truth"-like episodes are mostly passed. Now the episodes can bring Adrien/Chat Noir more into the game again and even shift to "Lies" - like episodes because MARINETTE can pay more attention to him again and isn't faced with something new, important and overwhelming Miraculous related every step she takes.

And THAT is extremely fair from a narrative standpoint.

---

I really need to stop elaborating so much on these posts because I'm only NOW actually getting to the point of where Adriens journey will disconnect for a while from Ladybugs. Sorry guys.

Okay, to understand where I'm going with this I will have to quickly explain how I always saw Chat Noirs place in the Ladybug+Chat Noir vs Hawkmoth war ever since s1.

Because here is the thing: Adrien wasn't able to truly leave the battle field ONCE since the origins. Marinette was completely out of Hawkmoths and Gabriels reach once she detransformed, which balances out her basically being the personification of the good sides force. And Gabriel literally decided whenever or not the battle is even ACTIVE right now! Besides that he is in complete control of his own actions and environment, which gives him all the necessary time, safety and downtime he needs to act as the personification of the evil sides force.

Marinette and Gabriel always knew when they were safe and off the battle field, but ADRIEN never had that and it left him LITERALLY right in the middle of both Ladybugs and Hawkmoths sides.

You see, because before Adrien became Chat Noir he basically was part of Hawkmoths side just by default. He was born into this family, that's his father and lost mother and everything he knows. Adrien didn't/doesn't even have to KNOW that he is part of Hawkmoths side, he's his son at some level he just IS! And I'm not saying this as anything negative, Adrien coming from Hawkmoths side is literally the reason why he became Chat Noir!

Because whereas Gabriel is having the time of his damn life as evil terrorist, created out of tragic and sinister circumstances, ADRIEN on the other hand couldn't handle his families environment and very same circumstances anymore and accepted the role as Paris' hero to escape his heritage for a while.

Keywords being: a WHILE.

Something unique about Adrien I always loved is the fact that he is the villains abused, isolated and overworked SON, who becomes a hero to escape his depressing life and YET it was never Adriens intention to LEAVE IT. Adrien merely wanted to use his time as Chat Noir to let of some steam and breath freely while doing some hero work so he can go back into his civilian life and try to one day successfully ment his broken family. He couldn't handle the current situation anymore but he still always saw worth in his family/father. I have SO MUCH respect for that!

But him not intending to leave his family and instead regaining strength as Chat Noir to continue to hold onto it came with the downside of him not being able to fully become part of the good sides people/force either. Hence why Adriens/Chats place always felt so lost in comparison to Ladybugs and Hawkmoths clear positions. He's caught in between their extremes trying to balance out BOTH at the same time. What an impossible task!

So he couldn't put in the same focus as Ladybug into being the good sides force because he is literally burned out from his civilian life on Hawkmoths evil side. But he also couldn't be involved as an ACTIVE member of his fathers evil force, because he chose to find refuge in his friends and as a hero on Ladybugs side.

Adrien unknowingly is part of BOTH the shows two extreme moral sides of good and evil and this season we will see Adrien/Chat Noir grow into his own within BOTH sides as well.

Because he simply couldn't have done so right away in s1. Now after 3 seasons Chat Noir is more than solidly established as one of Paris Heros and his time with Ladybug, the other heros and his normal friends helped him greatly to find his place on the good side. "Lies" set this up as Chat Noirs arcs starting point that now he has to stop connecting "being heroic" strictly with following Ladybug (as Marinette is the STAND IN personification for the good side, she's still a flawed human being like everyone else and not the ultimate force of perfect and good. Big difference.) just as he has to start looking past his fathers sympathetic moments/qualities to see that Hawkmoth isn't a 100%, inhumane monster just because he is the stand-in personification of evil in their fight, but the man he calls Father and still needs to be taken down. (I talked about this in more detail on THIS post)

Adrien has to seperat himself from Ladybugs path and focus on his family and I believe it'll start with the much dreaded (but expected) Ladynoir fight.

Funnily enough, what I'm talking about was actually already set up in "Frozer" I just didn't remember that for a bit. In "Frozer" we saw Ladynoir having a fight which caused Chat Noir to go his own way in the episodes battle.

I always found it interesting that the episode didn't had Chats decision, to not follow Ladybugs lead here, turn out to be a huge mistake. Almost every other show would have done so but now I think I understand. This episode and s2 in general SET UP the s4 conflict, s3 LEAD UP to it and now s4 DELIVERS it.

So what happened in "Frozer" is a direct parallel to what about to go down:

Ladynoirs fight will cause Chat Noir to not simply  follow Ladybugs side anymore the way he used to, but note, he DOESN'T leave the good side AND they make up again in the end after Chat saves Ladybug from the akuma. He just does things on his own because he isn't on great terms with her for a while. "Frozer" showed Chats decision to not only NOT be a mistake but also a necessary part of defeating the akuma, just the way it'll be in s4. Damn, Adrien breaking away from Ladybugs side, the way she (unintentionally tho) did at the beginning of the season, to focus more on himself and his family will be the game changing factor, when Adrien will have his completing arc where he goes from "not active character within the villain/backstory plot" to "ACTIVE character within the villain/backstory plot".

And we already saw with Marinette how many fast breakthroughs we get through these completing arcs. Which is also a reason for why Adriens/ Chats arc comes later in the season, because BUDDY. Once Adrien starts to actively uncover his families mystery and fathers secrets Gabriel is SCREWED! Adrien will gain the needed inside knowledge that complements Marinettes Miraculous power; and reunited they can take on whatever the hell kind of scale the Agrestes plan actually is.

So how to end this post? My biggest intention was to raise hope for everybody (myself included lol) who is right now very concerned and upset about how side-lined our boy is at the moment. But I prefer doing so in a way that actually works with canons context instead of sugarcoating what I don't like. And Adriens/Chats current position I definitely do NOT like but accepting it as realistic outcome from s1-s3 and set up for the escalation for both Ladynoir and his home situation gives it the proper purpose and pay off (narrative and character wise) that it SHOULD have.

Basically, the endcards of "Truth" and "Lies" show it perfectly.

It looks like ShadowMoth is turning a blind eye towards Adrien/Chat Noir because of Ladybugs new guardian status and "greater importance". But Gabriels tunnel vision on Ladybug will leave him vulnerable to his own sons secret actions against him and Gabriel won't see it coming until its already too late.

[bullshittierlists]

Spoilers for DR1, obviously. I decided to remake this list because my opinions on all of the characters have changed significantly since the last time. I’m honestly not even super happy about this one.

I see no god up here other than me:

Kiyotaka Ishimaru - Oh my lord, he’s perfect in every way (except for the thing, which I’ll get to). He’s funny, he doesn’t feel entirely insignificant, and he’s got a cool, sad backstory to dive into if you like him enough, but it isn’t required to do so throughout the main game. Everything about his genius/hard-working motif is brilliant. I think it’s incredible how he’s actually the opposing force to Komaeda rather than Junko, even though no one talks about it and the game doesn’t really use it that much. His whole backstory with his grandfather and father is so sad and I’m so proud of him for getting to be where he is today, even if it didn’t quite happen how he wanted it to. The one exception to this practically perfect prefect is, of course, the elephant in the room, Kiyondo Ishida. Here’s the thing: I think Kiyondo could’ve worked really well. However, as far as I know, Taka was swapped out last minute with Hiro and had to die in chapter 3. I honestly think this was the worst decision the franchise made after making Mikan... the way that she was. The only reason people hate Hiro is that he survived the first game. I’ll get to this more later, but I honestly really enjoyed his character for the first three chapters. After that, though, he got a little stale and even a bit annoying, especially the Kyoko being a ghost bit. I feel like Hiro really overstayed his welcome and his presence could’ve been more than made up for by the comedic duo of Hina and Taka. I understand that choosing the survivors of each game is difficult and a very meticulous process, but let’s just consider the interactions with other characters for now. To start with, Hiro hardly had any positive interactions with any of the other characters in the back half of the game outside of Hina calling him out for being an idiot. If we put Taka in his place, he could’ve had serious moments with Kyoko and Makoto, helping them to solve some of the mysteries. He also could’ve played off of Byakuya and Toko’s relationship in telling them that PDA is “not welcome in a school environment.” And the crowning jewel of missed opportunities, his interactions with Hina. They’ve both lost their best friends in the whole world and have no one to rely on. In canon, Hina had to do a character 180 just to keep up with Hiro’s idiocy and not break down about losing Sakura. However, if we had Taka, he could’ve helped her to get through it because he would’ve already gotten over Mondo with the help of Ishida. See? I brought it back around. If Taka had been able to resolve his issues with Ishida in chapter 3, he would’ve been able to help Hina to develop her character through the loss of Sakura in chapter 4. I think this would’ve been so much better for both of their characters and I weep for what could’ve been. But for some reason, Hiro just had to stick around.

Mondo Owada - I’m honestly surprised I talked about Taka for that long without mentioning Mondo. I don’t actually have a lot to say about Mondo that I won’t get to with Chihiro, but this is basically your warning to be ready for another rant and it also serves as a break from the last one. Mondo and Taka are perfect for each other, Mondo is the most sympathetic killer, bar none, and even though I’m not a huge fan of dogs, Chuck is so precious.

You’re the best:

Celestia Ludenberg - Pretty goth lady. That’s about it. She could’ve been better in chapter 3, but I honestly still really liked her plan and her breakdown was phenomenal. My favorite thing about her though is her execution. Her execution fits into the thin category of executions that include the element of specific despair, basically meaning that Monokuma made it specifically to make her sad apart from the fact that she was dying. She was ready and honestly excited to be burned at the stake because it would guarantee her an interesting death and therefore an interesting life. But then, she ends up just dying in another boring old car accident, many of which happen every day. It’s fun to watch her expression and demeanor change throughout her execution, it’s one of my favorites.

Chihiro Fujisaki - Oh boy, it’s the one I expect to get hate for. Buckle up, lovely people, it’s time to get personal. I personally headcanon Chihiro to be a cisgender male; however, I also believe that you can headcanon anyone to be anything you want. There is an exception and it’s when that headcanon specifically derails something the character was trying to present. In this case, it’s toxic masculinity and the importance of appearances in society. I’ll preface this whole section with a statement: I’m not trying to be transphobic. I could see Chihiro being a trans male, but cis or trans female just feels counterproductive to me. Let me explain. Chihiro’s entire existence is used to parallel Mondo’s. Chihiro has a strong will with a weak body, while Mondo has a strong body with a weak will. Mondo is seen, in canon, as a super manly character who is strong in both heart and body, but he doesn’t believe himself to be this way. The only strength he’s ever seen is through aggressive violence, and that’s how he shows his strength. This is proven in the fact that when he felt weak against Chihiro’s strong will, he killed him out of fear, which he had grown to believe was strength. However, since Chihiro had a weak body, people treated him as unmanly, even though he was strong-willed, so he believed that everything about him was weak and learned to be submissive to everyone else’s desires. This is proven in the fact that he dressed and acted the way he did specifically to please others, not himself. It’s shown in multiple free time events that he hates the way that he looks and that he hates dressing to appease other people. It’s not even necessary to turn to the FTEs to gain this information, it’s obvious from the fact that he goes to Mondo specifically to get stronger in what he thinks is both mind and body, as he’s been known to think that the two are connected. It can also be understood from his dialogue that he wasn’t trying to get physically stronger for himself, he was perfectly comfortable with his body, he wanted to get physically stronger so that other people would leave him alone. These are the effects that bullying had on him. Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but whenever I see Chihiro as female, trans or otherwise, it feels as though those people want Chihiro to subject to the bullying because it more closely fits their ideal. It just feels like evidence of toxic masculinity because since Chihiro is feminine, he must be female, even if he says otherwise. The difference to me between this and say, trans Gundham headcanons is that with Gundham, there’s nothing in his character that goes either way, so it’s fine to headcanon him however you want. But when Chihiro explicitly states that he wants to be seen as male, he’s ignored and pushed aside as “another missed opportunity for trans representation.” But he’s not a missed opportunity for representation, he’s just representing something else, toxic masculinity. It’s obvious that it goes over people’s heads because they don’t seem to understand this at all. I’m not trying to be rude, I just want people to understand that just because the representation isn’t specifically for the group you want, doesn’t mean that it isn’t good representation. I can talk about this more if anyone wants me to, but it’s almost 1 AM and I’m not sure how much longer and I can form cohesive sentences and I’m not sure this is the best argument to test that on.

Genocide Jack - Idk, she’s funny. I’ve already gotten past most of the characters I have strong opinions on. Whereas in the second game, I have strong feelings about my favorites *and* my least favorites, I really only have favorites in this game and everyone else is pretty neutral.

Byakuya Togami - He was actually originally my second favorite character, but I realized a good way into the series that I didn’t actually like him that much. He’s not as smart as he claims to be and he isn’t as well written as Komaeda or Kokichi. However, he does have one truly fantastic moment in the first game and that is during chapter 4. When it’s revealed that Sakura killed herself, he shuts down. It’s impossible for something to have happened that he didn’t predict and he truly believes that. It’s incredible to see his complete shift in character (at least for this trial) and I absolutely adore that moment. Everything else with him is still kinda meh.

Hey, I think you’re really cool, I like you a lot:

Sakura Ogami - There’s literally nothing about her that I can say that hasn’t been said already. She’s perfect and I love her for it.

Aoi Asahina - Like I said during my Taka rant, I think she would’ve been much better if she didn’t have to accommodate Hiro. The first game had a much darker tone than the second and Toko/Genocide Jack already had the comedic relief role covered. She and Taka could’ve still had their fair share of funny moments together, but I feel like she could’ve gone through Akane’s arc during the second game, but better because she would’ve been able to build off of Taka, who already went through the same thing. Either way, she’s cute and I adore her and Sakura’s friendship.

Sayaka Maizono - So I actually made this list back in January (it’s currently the middle of April) and just never got around to making it and since then, I’ve fallen in love with Sayaka. It may or may not have to do with me being cast as her in a secret project that I’ll announce later, but she has my heart regardless. Now, I’d probably put her behind Chihiro and ahead of Genocide Jack. She’s just such an interesting character and while it’s a shame that she died so early, I still think she wouldn’t have been as good if she didn’t die so soon. For the record, I think both Sayaka and Leon were morally in the wrong. However, Sayaka was doing it for her friends, while Leon could’ve stopped at any time and really only went back for himself. Sayaka is not a snake. Thank you, goodnight.

Mukuro Ikusaba - She’s definitely my neutral point. I have one of these in every DR game, even if I don’t realize it. I just don’t really have any opinions on her and it’s not even because she wasn’t in the game for very long. I just don’t know how to feel about her. I just finished Danganronpa: Zero and that boosted Junko way up in my book, but it didn’t really change my opinion on Mukuro at all.

Kyoko Kirigiri - I get the hype, I really do, but I just can’t get into her. For starters, I don’t like Naegi all that much, so of course I’m not going to like the people that hang around him all the time. The most I’ve ever liked her is while watching videos of her along with “Not So Bad A Dad” from Phineas and Ferb. Other than that, she’s extremely neutral for me.

Toko Fukawa - I’m including her appearance in Ultra Despair Girls, but it didn’t really help her much. I liked her in the first game, but it was only because I was going through a weird phase of obsessing over people and now I just think it’s weird because it is. I went into Ultra Despair Girls knowing that she got character development and then completely forgot to pay attention to it because I was so enraptured by the Warriors of Hope. So, I don’t know, she’s just kinda creepy and I didn’t really notice her (or Komaru, for that matter) in UDG.

I remember you:

Junko Enoshima - Like I mentioned during Mukuro’s segment, I just finished Danganronpa: Zero and it was a wild ride. I made this list before I had even started the book and I was mostly just confused by Junko. I didn’t understand her motivations or any of her plans, much less how she was able to achieve anything she was. But once I finished DR0, it all made sense. I won’t spoil it here, but she was incredible in that book and I wish I had caught on to everything earlier.

Makoto Naegi - I feel bad, but I have to compare him to the other protagonists. He’s just so boring, and I know that that’s the point of a protagonist, but Hajime proves that it doesn’t have to be that way. Makoto’s just kinda there all of the time. For example, in DR0, he shows up for one scene, but he literally doesn’t even do anything. He stands there, talks to Ryoko, is scared during a fight scene, and is never seen again. It’s really frustrating to know that he’s only there because he was the protagonist of the first game and it’s like “Wow, you know this character!”

Yasuhiro Hagakure - My only opinion on him is that he should’ve died in chapter 3. My only explanation for why he was so high on the original list is because I watched this one hysterical panel for DR1 and Hiro was by far the best character there. In the game itself, I liked him until he overstayed his welcome and cost Taka his shot to be memorable.

Leon Kuwata - I honestly can’t explain why I dislike him so much, I just really, genuinely do. He’s just kind of annoying, but that’s about it. Like I said before, I don’t really hate many of the characters from this game, they’re mostly all loved or neutral and he’s just the most negative neutral.

You are literally the worst. Actual scum. Leave this planet and never return:

Monokuma - You know the drill by now if you’ve seen my other DR tier lists, it’s kind of an obligation at this point.

Hifumi Yamada - Why. Why is he like this? Why is he this way? Honestly, he’s not nearly as bad as Teruteru or Kazuichi in the perv department, but I just hate him so much. I don’t understand why he is the way that he is, but I do understand that I’m happy he died in chapter 3. Honestly, I could’ve done with him dying earlier, but it is what it is.

It’s 1:15 AM and I am done writing. I’ve been putting this off for months and I figured it was finally time to get it over with and it definitely didn’t have anything to do with the fact that I can’t sleep. I hope you enjoy all of this and if you would like me to elaborate on anything, just drop me an ask and let me know. I’m always happy to explain any of my opinions and want to make sure I’m as clear as possible. Please do not spread hate about me until you’ve made sure you understand my point. Then go to town.

[cursedchilddrarry]

A discussion of Harry’s career (and why he’s in the wrong one)

In the Cursed Child, Harry is the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Though I accept this canon, I think that:

He would be terrible at this job

He probably doesn’t deserve this job

He has so far missed his true calling (but there’s still time)

Read on for my meta...

1. He would be terrible at this job

Conider what a Head of Magical Law Enforcement would be required to do. It’s something like being the Chief of Police, right? It would require:

A high level of professionalism (which Harry displays the opposite of, when he threatens to use his position to get his way in the running of Hogwarts)

Executive-level management - ie he’s someone’s manager’s manager’s manager. Among other things, this would involve dealing with the escalated personnel issues that no one else below him could handle, which is why people who do roles like this very well usually have excellent interpersonal skills and can calmly mediate conflicts. Harry... doesn’t demonstrate this at all. Interpersonal conflict for him usually goes very quickly to shouting. He would be a HR nightmare waiting to happen

Managing a huge amount of paperwork, particularly around risk and compliance management (ie arse-covering). Harry canonically fails at the paperwork, which in his position could literally result in someone getting killed

I can accept that he would have been slightly better as a field auror, however his problem with authority and inability to think before acting would have made him a nightmare to manage - plus I doubt that the constant re-traumatisation that a job like that would involve would be healthy for him, considering he clearly hasn’t recovered remotely from his own traumatic experiences.

2. He probably doesn’t deserve this job

A few points: 

All of the above - Harry doesn’t seem to have the skills

Wizard-kind are clearly still in awe of The Boy Who Lived, and Harry is frequently treated like a hero, which is probably the reason behind most of his promotions

His best friend is Minister for Magic

He is a white male and close-enough to pure blood, in a fairly intolerant and conservative society

Tough luck to any competitors for that role who weren’t famous for something they did 20 years ago, who take a responsible approach to their work rather than rushing in and risking their colleagues but consequently also miss out on the ‘hero’ status, diligently do their paperwork because they don’t always get let off easy, and take the time to develop proper investigative and people management skills.

3. He has so far missed his true calling

What is that true calling, you ask? In my view, Harry is destined to become Hogwarts’ Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Harry loves Hogwarts. It was the first place he ever felt at home. It was the first place he experienced friendship, love, belonging, joy... He has such a strong connection to it

Harry is a naturally talented teacher. At the age of 15 he literally took over the DADA course and taught a huge number of students at all levels, with great sucess (surely the DA was the proper foreshadowing of Harry’s future career)

He has legitimate experience in the subject - in fact, few people could claim better experience in Defence Against the Dark Arts, particularly now with his 20-year Auror career on top of everything else

Harry’s style of leadership is far better suited to being a teacher than a police chief - he’s capable of inspiring people, of capturing their attention, of promoting creativity... though not so much of working collaboratively with others, getting others to follow a set of rules (since he can’t even do this himself) or setting an example of a certain style of conduct

Plus he could also teach flying!

And it’s not too late - he’s only 40, after all.

My headcanon is that after the events of the Cursed Child, Harry and Ginny probably get divorced (see my other argument on that) and the HR nightmare that Harry has somehow thus far avoided eventually, inevitably, happens, forcing him to reconsider his career choices. Maybe he gets someone else killed. Maybe he screws up the paperwork, resulting in criminals walking free from their trials, one too many times. Maybe he shouts at the wrong person and gets booted out due to bullying or harassment claims. Maybe he has a long-overdue mental breakdown and gets quietly moved onto permanent medical leave.

Whatever happens, I’m sure Minerva will be ready with a job offer sooner or later.

[danganronpa-oneshots-headcannons]

Hellllllo! I found your blog recently and I love the way you write! Could you possibly write a scenario with Gundham where his fem! S/O is the blackened? Just a ton of angst? Thank you so much, love ya!

☁︎︎~Thank you so much for the request! Gundham is literally a bean! This took a bit so I hope you like it! Much love💕//

☁︎︎~Gundham with a fem! S/O who is the blackened! 

☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~

You didn’t have a choice. It was either you or her. 

Sonia had attacked you out of madness at the funhouse. The pain of starvation had gotten to her. 

Leading you out of your room and down to the elevator, she planned to kill you. However, her plan turned back onto her. 

Using her own weapon to slaughter her, you now stood at the trial with fear secretly hidden in your eyes. 

You stood across from Gundham’s podium, your eyes meeting his own the entire time. You had a feeling he knew what went down. 

And you were right. 

In fact you had totally sabotaged his scandalous idea. His own plan was to kill Nekomaru and sacrifice himself later on so everyone could eat. He’d never admit that he did it only for you though. He couldn’t bare the fact you were in pain due to this stupid motive. He was going to sacrifice himself if it meant ending your suffering. 

“So let’s recap what we have so far,” Hajime spoke, his fingers lightly resting under his chin as he glared at the floor, “the victim should’ve been Nekomaru instead of Sonia right? This explains the clocks being tampered correct?” 

“Yeah sounds about right! Like I’ve said before, my clock is never wrong!” Nekomaru chimed in, resting a hand on the back of his robotic neck.

“And you’re absolutely positive it can’t be tampered with Kaz?” The small Yakuza asked, looking over at the broken-hearted mechanic. 

“Yeah… that’s right.” His voice sounded downhearted then his usual jumpy tone. Was it the fact you had killed the girl of his dreams? Probably so. 

“Then the killing happened before Nekomaru’s alarm went off. Someone ended up killing Sonia before the other person had gotten a chance to kill Nekomaru..” Pulling her hood over her head, Chiaki looked over at Hajime with a questioning look. Even the gamer herself couldn’t figure this one out. 

Hajime hesitantly nodded, “This immediately gives everyone at the strawberry house an alibi being the fact Sonia’s killer came from grape house… I think.” 

Crossing his arms and huffing a sigh, Nagito causally nodded, “I’m afraid so. Well then, clearing that out of the way, all we need to know now is who had an alibi and who didn’t at the grape house.” 

A sheer cause of panic ran through your body as you realized you didn’t have an alibi… the only alibi you had was now dead. 

“We were all in our rooms. No one has an alibi. Hell! I didn’t even see Sonia walk down to the elevator!” Without a care for the world, Akane had stepped in to speak. 

It was true. The only people in the grape house were Hajime, Akane, Sonia, Chaki, and you. Even then, it was so early in the morning everyone was either asleep or doing their own thing in their rooms. 

“Wait, shouldn’t you have seen her Y/N? I mean, you were sleeping in the lounge correct?” Hearing your name, you turned to look at Fuyuhiko.

Your mouth opened to say something but Hajime had beat you to it. 

“Actually… she slept in the standard room.” Blush forming at his cheeks, Hajime looked over at Chiaki. 

“But wait… aren't you sleeping in the standard room Hajime?” Looking at Chiaki, Kazuichi took a moment to figure it out, “A-Are you saying you two?...”  Kazuichi cocked a brow as he looked at the love birds.

Puffing out her cheeks, Chiaki shook her head, “No it wasn’t anything like that. Hajime had given his room up so Y/N had somewhere to sleep. He simply slept on the other side of my bed.”

“So then that gives the two of you a solid alibi.” Gundham’s raspy voice overpowered the gamers soft tone as he went straight to the point, “Then it was obvious who did it. Behold! The beast who brought hatred down on Sonia!” He paused to look her in the eye, “... Akane.” Even if you were the culprit, there was no way in hell he’d let you die. He was going to bring down everyone and let you live before that happened. 

“H-Huh?! What?! Why me! Hey! Don’t forget about Y/N! She doesn’t have an alibi either!” She shouted in defense. 

“You were staying in the crumby room am I wrong? You could hear everything that was going on around you! Who says you didn’t hear Sonia walk by your cave?! You just waited to attack!” Once again, your boyfriend's voice raged out. You knew he was lying for you. You knew he figured what had happened. 

“H-He has a point! Were you the one who killed Ms.Sonia?!” Interrogating the gymnast, Kazuichi held nothing back. He loved Sonia, that was clear as day, and he was going to find out who killed  her. 

“Hey wait up! You can’t just jump to conclusions! For all we know, Akane is innocent!” Low and behold, Nekomaru shouted his objection. 

“Innocent? Fuhaha! Let us vote now! Take down this untamable beast!” With yet another laugh, Gundham pointed at Akane.

“Hold on,” Just when you thought you had gotten away with murder, Chiaki broke the argument, “Akane has an alibi.” 

“Huh? She does?” Fuyuhiko’s expression said everything. Even the proud Yakuza he was, was in fact confused. 

“She does. Akane ended up waking up during the night and decided to take a walk. She was the only one who didn’t know Hajime and Y/N changed their sleeping spot so when she found out Y/N wasn’t in the lounge, she panicked and came to get me and Hajime.”

Her frown changed to a smile as she nodded, “Oh right! You two were all cuddled up! I headed back to my room after and…” her eyes suddenly shot open, “And I heard one pair of footsteps walking back to their room!” Those brown orbs shot over to you.

Biting your lip for a moment, you finally said something, “B-But you would’ve heard footsteps exiting their rooms to go the elevator… r-right?!” 

“No that's impossible! Chiaki and Hajime shared the deluxe room meaning they couldn’t have heard anything! If Akane was with them... the three of them wouldn’t have been able to hear anything! They were in a soundproof room!” A sigh of relief came from Nekomaru as he knew Akane was safe. 

In a cold tone, Nagito just chuckled, “Ah… it looks like Y/N has been backed into a corner. Is it true? That Y/N L/N, the ultimate (???) killed Sonia?” 

Finally you let that panic show, “It wasn’t me! I… I-I-I wouldn’t-” You took a shaky breath, “I just went to the bathroom! I came back to my room by the time you returned to yours Akane!” With fear in your eyes you looked over at Gundham. For the first time ever, he looked pissed. 

“YOU FOOLS! HOW DARE YOU CONDEMN THIS FALSE ACCUSATION ONTO Y/N!” Roaring with anger, everyone jumped back including yourself.

“Gundham? Why are you…?” Hajime took a step back, trying to register all of this. Suddenly it clicked into his head, “Your covering for Y/N… aren’t you.” 

Gundham’s eyes pierced through Hajime’s as he continued to ramble, “Cover?! Fuhaha! I’m simply stating facts that Akane was the one to commit the crime! Lying about footsteps! She was the only one who could hear! She could be lying for all we know! Like a wolf in sheep's clothing!”

“No that’s wrong!” It was like Hajime had figured everything out, “No… your covering for her. All the evidence points to Y/N, not Akane. In fact, you were the first one to find out she was the culprit. You were the one who was going to kill Nekomaru. Isn’t that right?” 

Gundham fell silent. He didn’t dare to break the contact with Hajime. He had never hated someone more than he did now.

Before Gundham could speak another word, you broke into tears, “H-He’s right… I killed Sonia…”

“HOW DARE YOU Y/N!” Kazuichi, as well, flew into tears. 

“I HAD NO CHOICE!” With your sudden eruption, everyone’s attention was on you, “S-She led me out w-when Akane was with H-Hajime and C-Chiaki. She told me s-she had found food. I WAS DESPERATE! She cornered me and t-tried to kill me with the weapon she collected f-from… from the final dead room! I HAD NO CHOICE!” 

Gripping your podium, you couldn’t look anyone in the eye, “I’m sorry… I can’t sacrifice everyone here just so I can get out of this hellhole.”

Everyone fell silent. The only sound in the room was your sobs and cries. Gundham was astonished. Feeling guilt pile onto his shoulders, he let out a frustrated scream, once again sending everyone back on the edge.

Finally, Fuyuhiko interpreted your breakdown with Gundham, “S-So... then we’re done? Y/N is the blackened?” He even seemed to be breaking. 

“Y-Yeah.. yeah I am. J-Just vote.” Your words barely above a whisper, everyone pulled their levers and voted for you. Everyone except Gundham. Instead, he voted for himself. He would never forgive himself if he voted for you.

“Phuhuhu! Right again! Y/N L/N is the one who killed Sonia Nevermind!” Monokuma peeped, “You’re all so smart!”

Looking over at Gundham, you let out a soft laugh, “I’m so… so sorry. I really am.” 

Even the breeder looked like he was about to break into tears. He was losing the person he loved dearly. No one understood him like you did. No one. You were the one who helped him open up and now? Now you were heading straight to your execution. 

With heavy steps, he walked over to you and pulled you into a tight embrace, only this time, he let a small sob slip from his lips. No one had ever seen Gundham cry, not even his hamsters. No one was going to interrupt him either.  

Whispering apologies and soft, ‘I love you’s’ he finally pulled away, “I will see you in the dark realm my ice queen.” With red puffy eyes he looked away from you, “That, I shall promise.” 

“Then I’ll be waiting for you. Monokuma…I’m ready.” 

Hearing your request, Monokuma took no time to press the button. He was rather bored with all of this sweet talk and decided to get to the point. 

Taking a few steps back, you forced a smile for your sweet breeder, “Thank you.”  

That was the last thing he heard and saw before the metal claw took you by the throat and dragged you down the hall. 

☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~☁︎︎~

[scotianostra]

On January 31st 1788 Prince Charles Edward Stewart died in Palazzo Muti, Rome, he was 67. 

Well he actually died the day before, but you’ll need to read the post in full as to why history gives this date! 

With Bonnie Prince Charlie featuring in a number of my posts throughout the year I will cover the latter part of his life today, basically after Culloden.

When Prince Charles escaped from the battlefield at Culloden, he left almost all his personal possessions behind. During the months that followed he was hunted by government forces throughout the western Highlands and Isles. He was helped by many loyal followers, and this period gave rise to some of the most enduring myths of the rising.

I think it shows the loyalty he was given by the Highlanders that he managed to evade capture, over the five months after Culloden and no doubt execution. He was sheltered, smuggled from hiding place to hiding place, and given clothes and other items, by Gaels who risked their own safety to help him.

Charles eventually escaped to France and then Rome. Many of his followers were captured and some executed. Others were forced into exile and had their lands forfeited. The government was determined to eliminate the Jacobite cause once and for all.

The Highlands were disarmed and even highland dress was banned for a time. The breakdown of the clan system accelerated, while improved roads and forts led to more effective government control of remoter areas.

On reaching the safety of France Charlie  sked King Louis XV  for 20,000 more soldiers to help "finish the job”.  The myth propagated by his Hanoverian enemies was that Prince Charlie abandoned Scotland after Culloden. The memorandum written by the Prince to the King of France on 5th November 1746 provides evidence, in the Prince’s own hand, that directly contradicts this myth.

In the letter,seen in the third pic, the Prince wrote: “I never lacked Scottish subjects ready to fight. What I did simultaneously lack was money, supplies and a handful of regular troops; with but one of these three, I would today still be master of Scotland and probably the whole of England."

He goes on to claim he could have marched into London “unopposed" after his clear victory over General Cope’s troops at Prestonpans in September 1745 had he 3,000 more soldiers under his command.

At the time, Duke of Cumberland and the British Army were then in Flanders fighting the French and their allies in the Austrian War of Succession.

Things turned sour for Charles when the French and English reached a peace deal, where they recognised the right of King George and his successors to sit on the British throne, ending their support for the Stuart cause. Prince Charles was then expelled from France.

As far as the French Government were concerned, Prince Charles and his Highland supporters had served their purpose as pawns in their wider political game. The Prince had now become an embarrassment to them and was of no further value. Not that the peace lasted that long, both countries were at it again within ten years.

At one stage, accepting the fact that as a Catholic he was unlikely to ever be crowned King Charles indicated to his followers he was willing to become a Protestant in order to accede to the throne. In 1750 he visited London incognito, staying at a safe house near Holborn and converted to Protestantism by receiving Anglican Communion. But due to his increasingly brusque and argumentative manner he managed to alienate himself from the French foreign minister in 1759 who was planning an invasion of England in the midst of the Seven Years’ War  between Britain and France. After Prince Charles’ father James III died in 1766, Pope Clement XIII recognised James as King of England, Scotland and Ireland but did not bestow the same title on his son Prince Charles.

Over the decades as he grew older and bitter about his lost cause he turned to alcohol as his dream for restoring his lineage faded. 

The Prince is known to have travelled around Europe in the years that followed, trying to garner support for another tilt at regaining the crown for the Stuarts, Often using an alias, he spent a couple of years in Basel, Switzerland as  W. Thompson physician and ‘gentillhomme Anglais.’  He later spent time in Florence in 1774, where he was provided with a residence by Prince Corsini, he used the alias  Count of Albany at this time.  Charles's health deteriorated in later life, and he was reported to have suffered from asthma, high blood pressure, swollen legs and ulcers.  He suffered constantly from his illnesses, which required him to be carried by his servants to and from his carriage.

After separating, she claimed that Charles had physically abused her. This claim was generally believed by contemporaries. The historian Douglas states that Charles had been drinking following Saint Andrew's Day celebrations, and after accusing Louise of infidelities, may have attempted to rape her, resulting in her screaming to the extent that the household servants intervened. In the years that followed, the pope awarded Louise half of Charles's papal pension, and Charles's international reputation was greatly damaged. He was said to live an increasingly isolated and unhappy life, especially after his brother Henry agreed to house Louise at his estate.

By 1783 his health was deteriorating swiftly to the extent that during one bout of illness he was giver the last rites. Although Charles recovered, he agreed to create a new will, and signed an act of legitimation for his illegitimate daughter Charlotte. Charles also gave her the title "Duchess of Albany" in the peerage of Scotland and the style "Her Royal Highness", but these honours did not give Charlotte any right of succession to the throne. His daughter stayed with him until his death, she herself only lived for less than two years dying unmarried at Bologna in November 1789

Charles died in Rome of a stroke on 30th January 1788, the cardinals stated officially that he died on the morning of 31st January, as it was deemed unlucky to have him declared dead on the same date as his great-grandfather, King Charles I, who of course was covered in an extensive post yesterday.

On his death, a cast of his face was made, and his body was embalmed and placed in a coffin of cypress wood. Adorned with the Order of the Thistle, the Cross of St Andrew, the Order of the Garter and the Cross of St George

On Charles’s death in 1788, his brother, Henry Benedict, became the Jacobite Henry IX of England and I of Scotland,  it was with him that the direct, legitimate line ended on his death in 1807. By this time the beleaguered cardinal, who had witnessed the French Revolution (and lost the financial support of his Bourbon cousin in the process) had begun receiving an annual pension of £4,000 from George III – yes, from the very Hanoverian monarch or, in Jacobite terminology ‘usurper’, that his father and brother had fought so hard, and at such great cost, to remove from the British throne. Henry, unlike his father and brother, did not press his claim.

The final pic is a copy of Charlee's death mask in the collection of the West Highland Museum in Fort William.

There is an interesting article about Charles in the Scotsman from a couple of days ago, unlike most of the posts I have read about him in the newspaper it is actually very sympathetic and defends him in some ways, it is quite scathing towards Diana  Gabaldon‘s Outlander, not all of which is deserved in my own point of view, the show, and books , are after all a work of fiction, and only draw on actual events.

https://www.scotsman.com/news/national/outlander-promotes-a-deeply-distorted-view-of-gaelic-life-and-culture-and-the-damage-is-done-deborah-dennison-4004237

[makeste]

I’ve just realised it’s been over a year since you last listed your top 10 characters! Has anything changed since then?

a lot has changed! actually, every single ranking has changed from last time except for one (which you can probably guess, lol).

1. Bakugou (previous rank: 1)

yes, believe it or not, Bakugou is still my favorite. I’ll understand if you all need a moment to recuperate from the shock of this.

2. Deku (previous rank: 4)

hi, so. I really love Deku a lot. I think he is a great character and there’s a lot of subtlety and complexity to him that he doesn’t always get credit for. he is loving and kind, but he’s not a pushover. he has moments of deer-in-headlights anxiety when he’s in the spotlight or talking to celebrities (or girls), but then he’ll go and launch into a five-hour speech if someone mentions a topic he’s interested in. he’s very much aware of the huge burden that’s been placed on his shoulders, and is struggling to figure out how to become his own person (which is fucking hard, you guys; how many sixteen-year-olds do you know who have a solid, firm idea of who they are as a person and what it is about themselves that makes them unique individuals?) while still living up to All Might’s legacy. he’s smart and determined and capable of extraordinary things, but second-guesses himself and has a tendency to overthink everything he does. he is interesting!! and he doesn’t always get credit for being interesting! but he is! anyways Deku ilu.

3. Aizawa (previous rank: 2)

still the best. still so tired. the manga is tripling down lately on highlighting how awesome he is. childhood angst and guilt and trauma?? yes. kicking lots of ass?? hell yes. being outrageously sexy with his floating wavy hair and glowy red eyes and spending almost this entire arc in Eraser Mode while Horikoshi hopes to god no one remembers how he made it a Whole Thing after USJ that Aizawa supposedly couldn’t hold his quirk for long periods like that anymore?? oh, you bet. who is even gonna complain about it. you?? I sure am not. and last but not least, being the greatest dad in the world who’s willing to stab god in the face in order to stay alive to protect his children and continue to watch them grow?? fam. you goddamn know that is a YES WITH CAPITAL LETTERS. how can one character honestly be so great. how can he even contain it. he’s so powerful.

4. Todoroki (previous rank: 5/6)

Ochako slid all the way off my top ten list and I feel so bad about it. but she hasn’t had the spotlight for a long time, and meanwhile Shouto has had what feels like ARC AFTER ARC of being awesome and doing awesome things like becoming Bakugou’s Undisputed Best Friend, having the longest and purest canon romantic relationship in the series (I am of course talking about him/soba), and playing a key role in one of the most beautifully executed family arcs I have ever seen, with his conflicted feelings about his father that are so layered that THEIR LAYERS HAVE LAYERS. and meanwhile his quirk kicks as much ass as ever. remember that one time Shouto almost burned Tetsutetsu alive. remember that other time he fucking annihilated Ending (“GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER”)?! and meanwhile he remains the goodest and purest child in the entire series, making sure Mt. Lady’s heart is okay, and offering his two friends internships without a second’s hesitation because THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO. it’s just what they do you guys.

5. Hawks (previous rank: n/a! welcome to the top ten kiddo.)

OH NO I LOVE A MURDERER WHAT A STUNNING INDICTMENT OF ME. send me off to jail. anyway so I have always liked Hawks, but the latest arc has sent him skyrocketing up through the ranks of my heart. not because of the murder thing, but... okay well but actually, it is because of the murder thing though. NOT BECAUSE I’M HAPPY HE KILLED A GUY WE ALL LOVED, jesus, but because of how well Horikoshi portrayed his struggle over it. he didn’t want to do it!! but he ended up having to in the end, and he paid one hell of a heavy price for it. and listen, but if you give me a character who is smart, who is compassionate, and who is one of the most mentally and physically capable characters we’ve seen in the series and yet simultaneously does not have even the slightest ounce of regard or self-preservation for his own mental health? a character who is tired, who is willing to make sacrifices up to and including the ultimate sacrifice for what he believes is the greater good? a character who is achingly alone and isolated in so much of what he has to go through, who doesn’t dare drop his guard ever, who’s not able or willing to share his burdens with anyone else? if you give me a character like that, and then ask me not to love him, it’s like. I am very sorry but I truly have no say in it at this point. he’s adopted. I’m sorry it’s the law.

6. Tomura (previous rank: n/a)

OH NO I LOVE TWO MURDERERS WHAT EVEN IS WRONG WITH ME. hahaha. so in between the time of now and when I last did a character ranking, Tomura had a flashback! and it was very traumatic! he was little and sweet and his dad was a dick and there was a lot of blood and gore and a dog died!! and then AFO was all “HELLO IT’S ME COME TO SWOOP IN AND ADOPT YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO KILL STUFF AND ALSO HERE ARE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S SEVERED BODY PARTS TO ADORN YOURSELF WITH SO YOU NEVER STOP FEELING MISERABLE.” and everyone sitting there reading was all, “well I’ll just come out and say it, I can sort of understand why he became a murderer now,” and we all agreed that yes, it did indeed make a great deal of sense, when you put it that way. anyway, so obviously you can’t not feel empathy toward the kid after all that, even if he is going around killing A WHOLE LOT MORE people now, and has basically gone batshit insane actually. I remain steadfast in my conviction that Tomura is not the actual final villain -- AFO is. and call me crazy, but in spite of everything, I still think this kid has a shot at redemption. it won’t be pretty, and it’ll be a long, long path, and he might not ever fully make it all the way, but he’s someone who’s been manipulated and used as a puppet his entire life, and I want him to have the chance to finally break free from that. hopefully he’ll get it.

7. Mirko (previous rank: n/a)

so previously this section just said “MIRKO!!!!!”, which I honestly think sums it up pretty well. I honestly can’t think of any other character who has come along and just slapped me straight across the face with their sheer awesomeness as much as her, though. every time she’s onscreen/on the page my face is just a huge grin the entire time. she is fearless. like, she’s the type of person who actually does laugh in the face of danger -- like that’s not just an expression, she will LITERALLY LAUGH. she is Peter Pan with a dagger to his throat, smiling and saying “to die would be an awfully big adventure.” she is someone who’s found her purpose in life and is thriving. Mirko has no time for your existential angst; she’s too busy kicking ass every minute of every hour of every day. I love her so, so much. thank you so much Horikoshi for being obsessed with her and making her the biggest badass in the whole series.

8. All Might (previous rank: 3)

I still adore him! he just has had next to nothing to do for what seems like forever, so the other characters who are still getting steady development are kind of just sneaking past him one by one. but he is still the absolute best. he cares so much. so, so, so, so much. he’s not always the most natural when it comes to being a teacher or a mentor, and he stumbles and makes mistakes, but he loves his kids. he cares about them so fiercely. and that’s far and away the most important thing, and it’s not even close. and he’s also just so endlessly self-sacrificing and constantly putting everyone else before himself, and it’s insane. he’s someone who is just constantly thinking, “how can I do more, how can I help more, what else can I do to try and make the world better” even as he stumbles along with half a lung, and struggles with his feelings of inadequacy and helplessness and feeling like it’s just still not enough. I want to give All Might the biggest hug in the world and tell him that it’s all right, that he did good, that the kids are going to be all right. when Aizawa told him “you being alive is enough” I almost had a breakdown tbh. anyway if I keep going I’m gonna talk myself into moving him back up the list and then I’ll have to rearrange this whole thing lol so suffice it to say, fuck yeah All Might.

9. Momo (previous rank: 7)

when is Momo gonna do more stuff, Horikoshi?? huh??! he does realize that whenever she does stuff it’s always amazing?? so why is she not just constantly doing amazing, awesome stuff all the time?? I don’t know, and frankly I’ve had just about enough of this. let Momo do stuff 2020. but I won’t talk about this anymore for now because I haven’t ready any chapter 278 spoilers and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

(ETA: I HAVE READ CHAPTER 278 NOW AND ALL I CAN SAY IS YESSSSS!!! MOMO!!!! also I swear to god I genuinely had not seen any spoilers when I was writing this post lol, it was a total coincidence. I’m glad the “let Momo do stuff 2020″ campaign was so immediately successful though.)

10. Kaminari (previous rank: 8)

last but not least, my five-and-a-half-year-old traitor son, Kaminari Denki. he is just such a shining beam of light and life and goodness and chaos. there is this amazingly buoyant energy whenever he’s on the page that just fills me with love for him. I constantly just want to ruffle his hair, just, all the damn time. he is everybody’s friend, he loves them all so much, and he fearlessly calls Bakugou “Kacchan” heedless of the repercussions (OF WHICH THERE WERE NONE!!), and he sincerely tells Jirou that he’s in awe of her musical talents, and he wrecked his fingers learning to play guitar for her but he was happy to do it, and he was afraid to fight in the big ALL THE VILLAINS VS ALL THE HEROES battle because DUH!?! but he still did it anyway because he had to protect his friends. and his quirk and its side effects are constantly used for comic relief and not taken seriously at all (even though it’s actually insanely powerful holy shit), but he doesn’t care because he’s happy to make his friends happy. he’ll willingly be the butt of the joke if it means he gets to see them laugh. he just has such a big heart, and in all seriousness, if you think he’s the traitor I just don’t even know what to say to you.

so that’s it! Tokoyami, Ochako, Shinsou, Iida, and Sero would probably be the next five, with Endeavor, Toga, Mina, Jirou, and Mirio rounding out the top twenty. maybe not in that exact order but it’s close enough. really there are only like three characters in the series I actually truly dislike, so I’m honestly glad “top ten” is the general standard otherwise I’d be here all night running through them all lol.

[sanjuno]

how do you reckon things would change if Obito and Kakashi remembered their past lives as Izuna and Kanna? (And have you given a past incarnation of Rin in the Warring Era?)

… @deverickracoma you mean, like in canon? Huhhhh…

Well first off before Rin was Nohara Rin she was Senju Touka. Which makes this situation super fun because both Izuna and Kanna died before Hashirama strong armed Konoha into existence and Touka only went along with it because Her Stupid Little Cousins Need Some Common Sense. XP

In her lives as both as Touka and as Rin she holds the single (1) braincell for this Disaster Trio.

So Izuna dies via Tobirama’s sword. And then Kanna kinda… revenge rampages with Madara until the critical angst threshold is reached as Kanna just… explodes both theirself and the battlefield. 

There’s a whole lot of background stuff behind the suicide run such as Kanna’s Hatake side suffering from mate-loss depression and their Uchiha side suffering from Makengyou Madness and also Really Bad post-partum depression compounding it and yeah. Unfortunately Madara is just as wrecked from Izuna’s death so he can’t really support Kanna and it all goes to shit because we all know canon is a shitshow.

But anyway Touka is there to see Izuna die and she is well aware that Tobirama has just made a horrible decision driven by unacknowledged jealously and overzealous paranoia. Then Touka barely manages to save Tobirama’s pasty ass from the screaming revenge demon that she later learns was Izuna’s wife. And then Touka stands witness as Hashirama forces peace at sword point.

So Touka is just there like, “Oh for fucks sake we’re all going to die horribly.”

And, of course, Touka was right everything is horrible and everything hurts. 

Only now it’s plot-twist time and Touka, who was investigating certain questionable sources about the ongoing breakdown of social order in Konoha gets killed by Zetsu in order to cause even more tension against the Uchiha in Konoha and hey guess what? Yeah, that’s right Rin remembers the creepy plant-demon thing gloating about stealing Uchiha Madara (aka the only one vaguely strong enough to combat Kaguya at that time given he had naturally manifested the Rinnegan) for his own use before Zetsu killed her in a suspiciously ambiguous manner.

Shit.

Fuck.

Four year old Nohara Rin has a vendetta and the ability to kill a grown man. 

So obviously given that the Plant Demon is trying to kill off the Uchiha using shadowy assassinations and rumour mongering the Plant Demon is afraid of the Uchiha. Ergo the Uchiha are a threat to the Plant Demon otherwise it would confront the Uchiha more openly.

So.

Rin therefore needs to make super-duper ride-or-die best friends forever with at least one (1) Uchiha. And then, on the first day at the Academy, Rin runs into an absolute dork wearing Madara’s face.

Ah. Says Rin, channelling canon!Madara. That One. That’s The One I Need For My Plan To Succeed.

Cue the Rin and Obito Bonding Moment ™ that will repeat as a flashback every time their history is at any point mentioned in the narrative.

As for Obito, well… when he was Izuna he loved his Clan but then when he was reborn he read the Clan Histories from after his death and the public history of Konoha and Obito knows his Clan are a bunch of fucking traitors who stabbed his big brother in the back and that’s why Obito is both disgusted by the Uchiha and overprotective of the Clan’s reputation because Madara still loved their Clan even after they turned on him.

I may include Obito unearthing Madara’s private journals from a hidden cubby in the Naka Shrine that only Izuna would have known to look for. Just for the sake of an extra knife and also so that Obito can find proof of Zetsu’s sabotaging his brother’s mental health. 

Obito is more than a little weepy and sentimental over the fact that Madara honoured Izuna’s last request to the point Madara destroyed himself and his connection to the Clan. Obito can’t blame Madara for giving in when Hashirama forced peace to try and protect the few loyal Clan members who remained. Obito decides to protect Konoha and the Uchiha because he won’t let Madara’s last wish go unfulfilled but he’s going to become the fucking Hokage and tear out all the Senju-inflicted rot infecting his Big Brother’s Dream.

Obito is openly disdainful of the Clan Elders and the only people he even vaguely respects is the Head Family. Mostly because Mikoto is descended from Izuna’s daughter and even though Izayoi married “Tobirama’s student Kagami” she was still his baby girl and Mikoto is his great-grand daughter and he loves her because she’s his family.

Mikoto, Obito, and Shisui are all descendants of Kagami and Izayoi’s kids so they’re second-third cousins. Obito spends a lot of time pondering the overlap of self-care and I-love-my-grandbabies. It’s a fun little exercise in existentialism.

In the meantime Kakashi is still a little shit-disturber of the highest order. Kanna was taught all the fun Uchiha Clan Skills as Izuna’s wife and now Kakashi has learned all the fun Hatake Clan Skills from Sakumo and the little bastard is even more terrifying than canon. Kakashi is more gender-fluid than agender the way Kanna was though which is a fun new flavour of dysphoria-through-reincarnation that I’ll probably enjoy exploring.

Now, this does mean that Kakashi starts wearing his mask before Sakumo gets scapegoated which is a minor yet still significant change from Kakashi’s canon characterization-and-motivations.

So Kakashi blitzes their way through the Academy in like, 6 months because Kakashi has negative chill and an understandably paranoid focus on keeping their dad alive this time around. The only people Kakashi respects are the Military Police and their Dad everyone else can perish. Minato is A Constant Despair because he cannot control this sassy hell child Sakumo-sempai pls tell your son to l i s t e n t o m e.

Sakumo-sempai goes “LOL nope” because Sakumo is also a troll but is better at hiding it than Kakashi is.

So Rin and Obito are BFFs then Kakashi rips through their class like ground lightning and the sparring scene happens but the kickback of Uchiha-memories manifesting as body action means the spar is a familiar dance and so Obito is like “OMG K a n n a” and cue Obito stalking Kakashi like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush and no concept of personal boundaries.

Enough shenanigans occur to 1. make Team Minato a cohesive and functional thing instead of a train wreck, and 2. keep Sakumo alive because Kakashi recognizes their Dad’s suicidal tendencies for what they are and so they set their ninken up as watchdogs to make sure Sakumo doesn’t do anything stupid. Because Kakashi’s biggest regret is leaving Madara and Izayoi to suffer grief without them and they refuse to let that sort of despair take away anyone they care about again.

So now Team Minato is bonding, and they are friends, and they are all slowly coming to the realization that they all remember their previous lives. So they start to share information and gradually piece together where Zetsu’s influence has been applied as they try to figure out what the Plant Demon’s endgame is.

Which means that Team Minato is 100% more paranoid about mission intelligence than they were in canon and also Rin more than ready to gut the Iwa-nin who tries to kidnap her during the Kannabi Bridge Mission so that’s fun. Team Minato has also made a point system for rooting out moles, spies, and traitors to hand over to T&I. 

Sarutobi had a lovely headache when the knowledge that Sakumo’s mission had been sabotaged “accidentally” got leaked. (Kakashi had given the old man more than enough time to fix the rumour mill so it’s on Sarutobi’s own head that he didn’t take action before Kakashi did.)

Also Team Chaos Gremlins Minato manages to charm Orochimaru over to their camp via one of Obito’s rage fuelled rants about dismantling the hypocritical indoctrination of the institutionalized status quo. Specifically, the fact that the Hokage is supposed to be a public service position voted on by the people who only really has complete executive power during war time. Instead of a unilateral dictator chosen by the previous Hokage’s undisguised bias and favouritism.

Also because they’re all proof of the reincarnation cycle existing. Orochimaru is living his best life especially when Team Minato trash talks the other two Sannin. 

Rin is the Most Offended by Tsunade fucking off and abandoning her responsibilities. Tsunade basically inherited all of Hashirama’s worst traits without any obvious redeeming qualities to balance it out. Because, let’s be honest, the only reason Hashirama got any level of respect is because he was Over Powered to the point of ridiculousness and because Tobirama plus Mito were in charge of his public image.

Kakashi and Obito are both hyper-loyal so having Jiraiya decide to just not come back during wartime and for Tsunade to abandon her responsibilities as a healer and Clan Head has destroyed any possible respect they might have had.

Obviously Orochimaru is the best Sannin so he’s the one they’re going to make friends with. Also they drag Orochimaru back to the Hatake Clan House to commiserate with Sakumo about being the target of a Village wide smear campaign. Which strengthens both Orochimaru and Sakumo’s spirits enough to resist their Bad Endings from canon.

All of this basically allows Team Minato to have the leverage to track down Zetsu’s creeper cave and they find Madara trapped and blinded and leashed to the Gedo Mezo, and Obito nearly has a world-destroying breakdown. Rin stands guard while Obito and Kakashi have a tearful reunion with Madara and there’s a lot of dramatic apologizing and sobbing.

They all know that they can’t leave Madara here with Zetsu, but detaching him means he’s going to die. Eventually Madara makes the decision himself to break the connection because he refuses to be used as a hostage against his little brother. So Madara tells Obito where his eyes are (which means that the Ame trio are going to get kidnapped by Team Minato eventually) plus a run-down of all the subversive plots Zetsu has had a hand in, and then Madara outright smashes the statue.

Normally nothing would be able to destroy the Gedo Mezo given that it’s basically the fossilized corpse of a god but Madara is currently part of it which means that the statue’s defences don’t realize Madara is a threat. So, statue goes boom, the cave starts to collapse, and Team Minato runs away with Madara’s body so they can give him a respectful burial.

Zetsu has approximately ten thousand aneurysms in the space of one (1) second.

From here the kickback really starts to pile up because Obito now makes a habit of dropping in on newborn Uchiha to check and see if Madara’s been reborn yet. Which means that Sasuke has a really invested older cousin hanging around to take Itachi’s place when Itachi make dumb decisions.

Rin is grumpy because basically every Clan who joined Konoha had a bunch of Senju marry into their Clan so finding Hashirama’s reincarnation is basically impossible. (And then, of course, Naruto is born and Rin faceplams 1000 times because of fucking course.)

Kakashi is laughing at both of them. Right up until they take command of Team 7 and notice a hated familiar chakra under the skin of a pink haired little girl. (All three members of Team Minato nearly die laughing because Tobirama is a pink haired little girly girl heeeeee~)

Anyway aside from all the family drama Team Minato also manages to dispose of Danzo and exposes his “plot against the Hokage”, boosting Sakumo’s public image to the point he gets named as the Fourth, fixing the stigma Orochimaru faced despite being the only loyal member of the Sannin, and basically terrorizing Konoha with Political Activism.

Zetsu probably goes a bit around the bend thanks the Team Minato destroying all his hopes and dreams plans. Also they keep putting the pressure on and exposing Zetsu’s schemes and eventually that gains enough momentum that the other Villages are taking a good hard look at shit that’s going down and hey wait w h a t t h e f u c k …

Obito eventually takes over as the Fifth Hokage and tears apart the corrupt government systems like a Tasmanian Devil going through a rotting carcass because Big Brother’s Dream Will Become A Reality B E L I E V E I T !

The End. XP

[zappho]

Some Meta on Murdock and mental illness

Generally speakig, The A-Team is a dumbass, light-hearted comedy with action on the same level as youtube poop videos. Obviously there isn’t alot of depth to be found here. The show had tons of different writers, all with their own take on Murdock and none of them offer any clear info or a proper backstory for the character. It’s basically up to the audience to fill in the blanks and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do by overanalyzing the mess that is the show’s canon.

The question of whether Murdock is ‘‘‘really crazy or just faking’‘’ has been around for over 30 years, but I’m gonna argue that he’s both.

When Kelly visits Murdock in the psychiatric hospital and confronts him about why he’s living there in the first place he gets instantly uncomfortable.

He really didn’t want her to ask, it’s why he’s been avoiding her. Joking about how you’re hashtag crazy™ is easy; having to admit that you’ve been institutionalized for over 10 years because you have legitimate problems is much harder. (Sure, the VA also gives him a convenient cover from the military police, but if that was the only reason for him to stay he wouldn’t react to Kelly’s question in this way). “It’s a long story”, is all he says. There are clearly some painful memories here that he’d rather not delve into.

He’d have to explain how he got committed in the first place. We know that after the gang was arrested for war crimes in ‘71, Murdock was still serving as a pilot in ‘72. They never clarified when and how Murdock was sent home, but i’m guessing without his only friends around and it being, you know...war, his mental health eventually deteriorated until he received a medical discharge straight into the VA hospital.

After Murdock gets wrongly released in season 1, instead of his friends being worried about his supposed cover getting blown they just shrug it off and go ‘Oh well!’ (This could all be due to the show’s inconsistent writing, but you know)

No longer being an inpatient would finally allow Murdock to be employed as a pilot again (his #1 passion), and yet he seems really disheartened about the situation. Even though the hospital gives him no privacy, the staff barely respects him and he spends most of his time there by himself, he still prefers to stay.

For a character who’s allegedly cheery comic relief, he sure gets his feelings hurt alot, mainly when dealing with other people’s ableism towards him. B.A. and Face are obviously just palling around, just guys bein’ dudes, they don’t want to hurt Murdock for real, they probably don’t realize how sensitive Murdock is about the subject. Usually he plays along or shrugs it off, but sometimes he gets genuinely upset. In the first half of In Plane Sight he’s so fed up with it he tries to ‘‘act normal’‘ until #Woke #Queen Hannibal reassures him that they love him the way he is.

PTSD was barely starting to become a diagnosis when the show first aired, but I think it’s fair to say he suffers from it. The pilot episode states that he has anxiety, paranoia and memory loss, so that checks out.

With PTSD you don’t just have to deal with flashbacks and nightmares, but also intrusive thoughts, images and memories about your trauma. Murdock copes with it by getting hyperfixated on a new activity or pretending he’s someone else. This is were alot of people will go ‘‘haha wow look how wacky and insane he is! He’s talking to his sock 😂’‘. But Murdock knows it’s all made up nonsense, he just needs his mind to focus on something else. What’s important here is that he never lets his coping mechanisms distract him when he’s flying, first of all he’s already focused and also he doesn’t wanna crash (lol). There’s a believability to his actions that’s missing in the 2010 reboot.

In the episode where the gang helps out the vietnamese cook from the POW camp where they’ve been tortured, Murdock tries to distract himself with some golfballs. He soon starts projecting his trauma on them however.

I think this is the only time in the show where Hannibal tears up, so this scene is kinda significant. As the leader, he probably blames himself for getting his team captured and tortured, and seeing that Murdock is still so strongly affected by it gotta hurt. 

Compared to the rest of the gang, Murdock’s alot more fucked up over the war. There are subtle changes in his voice whenever he talks about it. In the ep about their old war buddy Ray, Face was reminiscing about how cool of a guy Ray was for borrowing him his helmet, Murdock’s memories meanwhile are much less upbeat. ‘My bird was the only one left in the sky’ he remembers while we see an image of a field filled with shot down helicopters. His experiences are bound to be different from the other three as a huey medevac pilot. Murdock did have one off-screen breakdown in the present timeline, after collecting every newspaper article about the upcoming execution of the team in Firing Line. Apparently it was bad enough that he had to be restrained. It’s been 10 years, so he’s recovering and getting better, but he’s still not all there yet.

Everyone knows Murdock’s just messing around when he’s being interrogated by the military about his connections to the team, but like what about when the military isn’t there; or NO ONE is. He often talks to himself or just puts weird shit in his mouth for no reason while nobody’s paying attention to him (eating leaves, paint, an entire raw egg, a frozen sandwich). Sometimes he’s just unhinged like that.

Another thing that’s brought up a few times in the show is his anxiety. Murdock’s often seen being generally tense, sweaty, uncomfortable or reflective in the background of a scene. (I have no idea if this was a deliberate acting choice but Dwight does have anxiety irl so who knows if that had anything to do with it, I mean who knowsssssss, i’m just observing)

He’s got a habit of fidgeting with his hands or touching his neck when he’s stressed out. Murdock also does it when he’s telling his psychiatrist Dr. Richter about his dreams “If you were me, wouldn’t you be terrified to put your head down?” he asks him.

Richter isn’t really paying attention though, because he’s so used to Murdock’s non-stop clownery, he can’t exactly tell when his patient decides to be honest about his feelings for once. He just replies ‘Well only if it was a bad dream’. Which really irritates Murdock because what other dreams besides bad would he have? So he derails the session by rambling some made up bullshit on purpose.

Richter knows that Murdock uses humor and fantasy to cope, but he’s obviously tired of Murdock’s cringe antics, he just wants to help him. But Murdock doesn’t like to open up and be confronted with his traumas again, he just wants to avoid talking about it all together. There are still parts of reality that Murdock’s not ready to deal with, or he wouldn’t always retreat into his fantasies.

Before he can continue messing around a helicopter passes by and Murdock freezes for a second. Richter assures him that the helicopter is real; Murdock nods and starts fidgeting with his hands again, seemingly in deep thought. We know from the season 4 finale that he hears the sound of rotor blades when he dissociates. He was definitely being sincere here.

After getting drugged by some military goons he has a few brief flashbacks (feat. cheesy 80′s neon filters): seeing the chopper fly away, getting stuck in a potted plant as if he was walking through the jungle, being surrounded by heavy smoke and sparks from the burning carpet).

Despite being the 2nd highest ranked team member, Murdock dislikes being in charge and gets severly distressed when anything goes wrong that he might even be slightly responsible for. Most notably is the episode where the owners of the diner get kidnapped after Murdock got knocked out by evil cowboys or hill billies or whatever they were. Instead of telling anyone what happened, he’s just lying on the floor, repeatedly calling himself a failure until the others show up.

Seems like Murdock gets startled more easily than the rest of the crew as well. We often see him flinch when guns go off; one time he literally wore fluffy ear muffs to a backalley shootout.

This short moment from Family Reunion always stood out to me. Face opens the van door a little too quickly and it takes Murdock so off-guard he has to take deep breaths to calm down.

Murdock sounds exhausted when he has to remind Face not to sneak up on him. Face also realizes he messed up, he just wanted to check up on Murdock and not trigger him on accident.

When it comes to portrayals of mental illness in fiction there’s obviously better representation out there than Murdock. But sometimes you just wanna see a mentally ill character have a good time instead of being miserable 24/7. And Murdock’s already got the worst behind him, he’s had therapy for years and friends who love him. I just think that’s refreshing to see, especially with a character who’s so kind and openly affectionate.

[malfoymanortings]

i don’t care PART 1

SUMMARY: Lavender Brown begins to find herself after Ron Weasley breaks her heart. An unlikely Slytherin helps her do just that.

PAIRINGS: to be decided. 

had to get this written as it just would not leave my mind. Lavender truly deserved better, she was just a girl with a crush. this is my way of giving her a better ending. maybe another part? depends on if this is received well.

Lavender Brown was furious with herself.

The entire time, she should have seen it coming. She should have known that this relationship would just end with a broken heart for her. Everyone knew that Ron and Hermione had, at the very least, a thing for each other. 

But Ron had chosen her. At least for a while. Really, how was she supposed to know it was all just to make Hermione jealous? And, for Ron to practice (very thoroughly, she might add) kissing and touching on someone else before he went to Hermione.

How the fuck was Lavender supposed to know she meant nothing to the boy who had meant everything to her?

Now, as she sat at the opposite table, she clenched her spoon in her hands as Ron whispered to Hermione and Harry, his eyes on her. Almost comically, the trio all turned to face her unabashed, openly staring at her for a moment before turning back to their whispers.

“She seems a bit.. Put out, doesn’t she?” Ron’s voice was never quiet.

Lavender slammed her utensil down, and swung her book bag over her shoulder. She wasn’t just going to sit here, and let them whisper about her. She could see the apprehension in Ron’s face, the annoyance in Hermione’s, and the fear in Harry’s.

“I wonder why, Ron, I would be ‘put out’,” seethed Lavender, crossing her arms in an attempt to keep her emotions in check. “It’s almost like you dated me, used me, just to get Hermione jealous.”

“Lavender, I-” Hermione broke the silence, giving an annoyed look to both Ron and Harry, the two boys silent. 

“Really, you’re the last person I want to hear from,” Lavender cut Hermione off, her gaze locked on Ron. “I deserve an apology. At the bare minimum.”

Ron was silent for a moment, his blue eyes averted from hers. “Erm, sorry.”

Lavender blinked slowly, tapping her foot. When Ron said nothing more, she scoffed. “That’s really all you’ll say, hm? You’re absolutely disgusting.”

Without waiting for what would surely be a useless response, Lavender left the Great Hall. Her anger carried her all the way to the Divination room, which was usually always empty. Yet, as she entered the room, there was someone already there, lying on one of the poufy pillows with the hood of his robe drawn over his face.

Draco Malfoy.

Lavender faltered in the doorway, unsure of what she should do. All she had wanted was to be alone, in her safe haven of Divination, perhaps read her tea leaves if she were feeling up to it. But of course, yet another male had to ruin her plans.

“You haven’t got to leave on our account,” Lavender turned to see Blaise Zabini sitting on the opposite side of the room, flicking through a weathered book. “He’ll be out for at least another hour or so, as long as you aren’t loud.”

Lavender nodded stiffly, unsure of what to make of the Slytherin boys. She hadn't had much interaction between either boy, although everyone knew them. Draco “my father will hear about this” Malfoy was the infamous Slytherin prince. Blaise Zabini was one of Draco’s close friends, and he had always reminded Lavender of an elegant renaissance painting. He moved with grace and poise, same as Draco, although with Blaise there always seemed to be an air of serenity around him. Draco, on the other hand, was the furthest thing from a picture of serenity.

Regardless, Lavender wasn’t going to let the Slytherin boys stop her from enjoying her Divination time. She was done modeling her life after what would make men most happy.

She sat furthest away from the two boys, moving to make her tea. Once it was done, she sipped it slowly, savoring the warm chamomile on her throat. She busied herself with staring at the ceiling, decorated in various runes and symbols. A few of them were recognizable enough, whereas others seemed to fade and twist in and out of each other. It made it rather difficult to decipher them.

Of course, the tea and the ceiling couldn’t distract her for much longer, and she soon found herself thinking on Ron fucking Weasley.

What did Hermione have that she didn’t? Lavender’s wavy blonde hair was properly managed, instead of a wild frizzy mess like Grangers. Lavender wore makeup, Lavender wore pretty clothes, Lavender took great care in her appearance and the way she presented herself. Lavender knew she was pretty. She was smart too, even if it wasn’t quite like Hermione.

It seemed the only thing Hermione had that Lavender didn’t was Ron’s love.

That seemed hardly fair to Lavender. She was the one who Ron had snogged rather indecently. The one he had touched, even if it was rough and… pokey, the first time. He was incredibly eager, anxious to learn, even if his first few executions were awkward and lackluster. Now, after Lavender had spent time and effort into helping Ron understand the more physical side of a relationship, he was sent off to Hermione, primed and ready to go?

How was that fair?

The sad truth was, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Ron Weasley had used her to make Hermione jealous. It wasn’t fair that he had used her body, her emotions, as a weapon against Hermione. It wasn’t fair that in the end, no matter how much she proved to Ron she loved him, cared for him, it wasn’t enough. Did he think she enjoyed all of the public affection and nicknames? She didn’t, but with Ron being the youngest boy in his family and the most overlooked, she had wanted him to feel special.

Even if that meant making a fool of herself by constantly throwing herself on him and giving him a nickname like Won Won. She had thought, making him the center of her world, showering him with love and affection, it would make him happy. After all, he was overshadowed by his brothers and Harry Potter. Didn’t he want to feel special for once?

Yet, every time he had instigated their snogging, their groping, whatever it may be, Lavender now realized it was because Hermione was in the room. Whether it be she was coming back in the common room, or innocently sitting with Harry, Ron would force himself onto Lavender. Of course Lavender would respond eagerly, she loved the boy.

Although he never loved her.

The revelation hurt her deeply, and as her chest cracked, a few tears slipped down her face. She stared into her teacup, determined to not have a breakdown while Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy (although the latter was still sleeping soundly) were around her. It wasn’t working, and before she knew it, she was sniffling quietly into her now empty cup of tea.

“Here.”

Lavender dared look up to see Blaise Zabini standing in front of her brandishing a dark green handkerchief. It was labeled with an elegant Z, and she eyed it suspiciously.

“What, did you charm it to give me a rash? Stick to my face, perhaps?” the words came out defensively, and Lavender found she didn’t care. She was tired of trying to make men feel safe and secure. Respected. They didn’t bother to make her feel that way, Ron had made that clear.

“I wouldn’t waste a hanky on a charm as trivial as that,” Blaise responded tartly, raising an eyebrow. “You’re crying, and Gryffindor or not, my mother raised me better than to let pretty girls cry over useless boys.”

Lavender took the handkerchief hesitantly, dabbing at her eyes. Sure that it was indeed just a regular piece of cloth, she wiped at her face, crying her tears. “Thank you.” Dimly, she recognized that the ever so handsome Blaise Zabini had called her pretty.

Blaise nodded. He sat next to Lavender then, looking at her tea. “Are you reading your leaves?”

“Yes,” started Lavender, pleasantly surprised that he knew what she was doing. “Are you familiar with Divination?”

Blaise nodded again, his nimble fingers reaching over to hold her cup. “May I?”

It was Lavender’s turn to nod.

Blaise examined the cup for a minute, a crease appearing in his brows. This close, Lavender admired his long eyelashes. Blaise was quite handsome, as though he had been carved from clay by the hand of Michelangelo. 

“I see a spider,” confided Blaise, setting her cup back down. “In ancient times, a spider symbolized growth, power, and mystery. Translated, the way you handle situations in your life will determine if you will be prosperous or not. The power of growth lies squarely in your hands.”

Lavender swallowed hard. She hadn’t been expecting that. “You didn’t even have to look that up.”

Blaise raised an eyebrow at her, glancing at her. “I usually don’t.”

Lavender wasn’t quite sure how to respond. She hadn’t been expecting Blaise to be like this. She was expecting more of a Draco vibe from him, but she found she was pleasantly surprised at his true self.

Speaking of the blond boy, he began to stir on his pillow. 

“Looks like the dragon has awoken,” conceded Blaise, standing up from his spot next to Lavender. “I’ll see you around. Remember your leaves.”

“I will.” Lavender nodded to the Slytherin boy, watching as Draco rose from his spot. 

The blond looked like he wanted to say something about her, but Blaise guided him out of the room before the blond could open his mouth. She assumed it would have been in question as to why she was in the same room as the sleeping boy, but she would never know. Perhaps it was better that way. Draco had a wicked tongue when he wanted.

As Lavender stared into her tea leaves, she thought of Blaise. She wondered if she would in fact see the handsome boy again. Probably not. He was a Slytherin. She was a Gryffindor.

And men, she had found, were utterly disappointing.