#not quite sure if someone already did this meme with him

[zuutiomi]

This meme has hunt me for weeks 😭

But poor Dagoth Ur 😞

[the-moon-files]

Aaaaa yay, you updated for Linked Universe again! 🙏 And right when the hyperfixation was coming back for me, too 👀 

I was looking over your posts for LU, and if you don’t mind, I’d love to share some of my own random thoughts with you! I hope that’s okay 👉👈

After I read your “Humans aren't just round-eared Hylians?” post I have had,, many thoughts 👀 One random difference between humans and Hylians I thought about was the possibilities of varying strength,,, You briefly mentioned how Hylians seemed lighter than they seemed to Guide!Reader, and let me tell you, it was such a small detail, but I was transFIXED. I have this image of humans/Guide!Reader just being naturally stronger than the average Hylians - and it made me think of scenarios of the Reader just effortlessly hauling around two Links on their shoulders like sacks of potatoes- And them also picking up things that are supposed to be really heavy with ease! Like, Four would make a longsword, and Reader picks it up out of curiosity, expecting it to be really heavy, but it’s actually not that bad?? (Four in the background: 🧍)

If the Reader is already pretty strong (and maybe even has a profession in fighting, like a boxer or something,, [I might be projecting slightly—]), then ooo 👀 I can see there being this one time where a bunch of monsters ambush the Chain, and as everyone is fighting with the Reader giving them advice and whatnot, a Lizalfos managed to slip past everyone and sprint towards the Reader to attack them. The others are panicking because they won’t be able to reach the monster in time, but just as the Lizalfos raised its sword, one single punch from the Reader sent it flying back into the fray, knocking it into a Moblin. Reader is just standing there with their fist still in the air like “👁️👄👁️ h u h … whY ARE YOU GUYS STARING, YOU’RE STILL FIGHTING—”

In your newest post about the Guide!Reader’s voice, you mentioned how some entities could hear them, and I don’t know if he would, but I think it’d be kinda funny if Ganon and all of his other reincarnations could hear the Reader talking to Link- I’m not sure if he remembers his past lives, but if he does and hears/recognises Reader’s voice, I love the image of him thinking “Oh god, THIS guy again??” Because Reader WILL clown on him-

Dehydrated Ganondorf: *insert evil monologue here*

Guide!Reader: Uh-huh, sure, bold words for someone whose skin looks like a prehistoric riverbed. :|

Sage: *w he eze*

As I was writing all this, I had to think to myself, “Huh,, Guide!Reader doesn’t die when they fall into lava, aren’t really affected by harsher temperatures and winds, and also can swim against strong currents. They’re environment-resistant basically. But there’s bound to be at least one weakness to it all, right?” I did come up with said weakness, and I think it’s kinda basic, BUT one idea I had was that because Guide!Reader is so resistant to the natural elements of Hyrule, they are conversely quite weak to unnatural causes in turn. If they get injured, say they get cut with a knife by a Bokoblin, then that wound would take much longer to heal than it should. Any injuries that the Reader sustains in Hyrule are harder to heal (which I feel like could make some interesting angst,, 👀); their injuries would take more magic to completely heal them, or have more healing potions to drink. I also thought of the Reader being very vulnerable to any sort of poison- Like, if they get a pinch or two (or three) of strong poison in their system, they get knocked out for like two days 💀 

So basically, Guide!Reader is very resistant to the environment, possibly quite strong, but does not have any good constitution,,

[On another note, maybe it’s just a me thing, but I personally love the thought of Wind looking up to the Reader as like a big brother figure,,]

And also!! Happy birthday!! 🥳🥳🎉 As a way of procrastination, I’ve been compiling memes with Guide!Reader and the Chain because the brain rot is hitting HARD,, I can share it with you in the future if you like! /gen /pos And sorry if this is such a long post dkjfgndf-

NOT SOMEONE BEING HAPPY I UPDATED UwU

ur ideas, ur compliments, ur bday wishes, etc. hitting me like^^

Sun: Masc!Reader (he/him) this will be default unless ppl specify otherwise! , Guide!Reader, Boxer/Martial Artist!Reader

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Most Links of the Chain mentioned + Sage (Totk Link)! No focus/centric Link

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: light cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

In reference to This Post! Wait, Humans Aren’t just Round-Eared Hylians??

YOUR BRAIN>>>????!!!

This was such a yummy treat tysm for this, sharing is caring 🫶

I absolutely think Humans could be 10x stronger than Hylians, I mean if we base everything abt their universe off of Link weighing ~8 apples lmao

that means swords, armor, broadswords/claymores, battle axes, huge shields, if those weigh abt like fake swords/wooden ones back on earth to us, then i cant even imagine what canons/horses/tree trunks/boulders weigh 💀

like props on a stage weight rather than the real thing lmao

No but how many Links can you fit in one carry??

ok u got a heavier Link on your back, like Time, Twi or Wars, then Four/Wind/Hyrule/Legend (yes he’s light/smaller side, tho he may deny) in ur arms like one Link per arm, maybe 3 Links if you can like wrap ur arms around them

so like 4 Links total? well, Wind or Four r so light/small one could possibly ride on ur shoulders, so 5 LMAO??? that's like half the Chain already AHALJFAfJLL-

on another note,

I LOVEEE ganon being able to hear Guide Reader bc spent too long around them, also i originally based that off of characters who’ve shown they're meta/highly magical kinda (esp the meta part where they may have directly addressed players/broke 4th wall)

No bc Ganon would just be SO fed up by like, Wild’s time, it would literally be EXACTLY like what u said I’d imagine:

(u just playing the game and not realizing until later they can hear you)

Ganon: “ugh that blonde twink again, god when will this plan actually work-?!”

You: “eyyy, Ganon! omg, why’s he?? Hot??? damn, botw best ganon version fr”

Ganon: “you know what maybe you should just kill me right now, hero Link.”

(the thought of Ganon never being able to escape ur voice whenever Link was near him bc u didnt have a body to fight/kill, and instead he just had to deal with ur comments is SENDING ME)

changing subjects again sorry

YES!! that's the weakness/drawback I was thinking abt for Humans in Hyrule, while yes their environment isn't that effective on us, (i like to use “inside a video game” as the reason bc i think its neat)

humans are notoriously fragile in our own world already - we get sick, we get acid-reflux/throw up from bad food/food poisoning, etc.

so it makes sense we’d be more sensitive to this new environment, but even if we got adjusted,

we’re more external-proof, not internal-proof

(u know that's another reason why it works for Hylians and not Humans, we aren’t automatically healed by food, but their world does, and even in botw/totk when u have “dubious” food, its never inedible, its just useless to eat, so technically Hylians can kind of eat most anything off of that logic, like there is no such thing as “bad food” for them)

and u could take this either way tbh,

like we’re either entirely resistant to magic/dont take to it well bc our world didnt have it so potions/fairies don't work and we have to heal naturally

or just yeah, its like ur in a new country tbh, new germs/nature/food/etc. and u def cant guarantee u wont get a little sick from that

this would definitely include genuine poison!

bro the amount of WORRY the Links would feel after realizing the human guide guy who’s physically here now can barely handle their food??

Wild’s making a thorough list of what foods work for you and what don't, like safe foods to go back on, including recipes,

the way Time/Wars would absolutely be willing to take little detours/stop by towns more to make sure you have the right food you can eat,

and even tho Wild’s cooking, Sage is constantly testing for poison, like the dish itself, the herbs/plants, every ingredient needs to be extra safe even by Hylian standards (like not eating adventurous stuff like pufferfish or smth that could possibly have poison if cooked wrong/not enough etc)

that is to say, even if Wild makes a new recipe/other meal, he always has a backup safe meal to give you instead on those nights, and just way too many in general (yes he knows it doesn't buff ur health but he cant help his Hylians instincts to stuff the hurt person’s face with food ok??)

Hyrule! Is!! Losing!!! It!!!!

he has all the healing magic in the world and the one man he wants to help the most, for keeping him from being lonely on his adventure/looking out for him/being on his side no matter what, now he finds out he can’t even help them??

mans would literally keep trying to heal u til he’s drained it all out to just try and get the wound to close, if u didnt stop him

U get injured for the first time, and while a bruise/cut taking weeks to heal (depending on how bad) is normal to you, Hyrule + lowkey everyone is Freaking Out

Wounds DO NOT take weeks to heal?? They take hours at most??? Dude, are you dying-

(Wind got elbowed for that one, purely bc he voiced Sky/Hyrule/Wild/Twi paranoia out loud lol)

that is going with the version ur mostly unaffected by magic, but u could also do the human thing where we get adjusted to things over time (at least more than nothing), including food/sickness

The way All the Links just surround you or outright don’t let you come into crowded parts of town so ur poor immune system wont make u sick again 😭

on the bright side they'd all get rlly good at preventative measures like this, and taking care of sick you lol

(yes, u bribed Wind to get little bro cuddles when ur sick, it wasn't hard, he sees u as the most genuine bigger bro probably bc ur likely hte most affectionate out of all the Links)

(should I get into cultural differences between humans/hylians like humans being more openly cuddly/affectionate? like how in humans are space orcs fandom they acknowledge its unusual for us to “packbond” so easily to so many different species? and how this could possibly apply to not only Hylians but any Friend-shaped creatures across the Hyrules?? ..nah. I’ll save that for another post)

AND YES!! feel free to shoot rambles/thoughts/not even requests my way! Id love to talk abt it or just post it for the world to marvel at too lol

ohh mY God;; YOU HAVE MEMES FOR THIS?? PLEASEEEE SHOW ME????

thank you for this, srsly /pos

Peace out,

🌙

[hanafubukki]

Hello Hana, I hope you're doing well 😊 so recently I've been reading Sherlock Holmes and read some good scenes that fueled something in my brain.

You and Lilia have been pretty good at covering up the series of crime you two committed. Unfortunately, due to some technical errors, the police was already on the way here before you two could. You swear that he did it on purpose, when you saw him smiled, as the police car's siren becomes closer and closer.

"It took them quite a long to catch us in the act, but I'm not one to undermine someone's effort."

You almost smacked him in the head, when he walked to a nearby window, giving his location the police below. You grabbed his shoulders and pulled the curtains to cover yourselves. "Lilia! What were you doing?!" you hissed.

He just laughs, "You worry too much sweetcheeks. We'll be fine."

You shake him in hopes to fix his loose screws in the head. "What do you mean fine?! We're surrounded!" you stopped shaking him and looked at the stairs when you heard footsteps, hastily going up the stairs.

"Seems like you've given them an aid while you were scolding me," he chuckles.

"It's completely your fault why I screamed! I've already had plans to escape, but were foiled when they were able to pinpoint that were still here!" you scolded him as both of you ran up the stairs.

He almost escaped, if only he didn't help you when you trip on the carpet on the floor. The police men eagerly handcuffed both of your hands together, guiding you two out of the building. Reporters were outside, sharing to the world that both of you were finally caught and that the citizens don't have to worry anymore.

As you two reach the car, and they were about to shove both of you inside, Lilia squatted down, bringing you along as you two were chained together. He then uses his legs to kick the policemen behind, and grabbed the gun using his free hand. You almost would have kissed the floor, if it weren't for your reflexes with how fast he moves. He stands up, bringing you along, and hugged you closer to his chest (re-using that scene from my general lilia ask 😆 lmao when will I experience this in real life). You heard several gun shots, and you crumpled his vest under your free hand from worry.

Both of you opened the police car and went inside. He sat on the driver's seat with you beside him, locking the door with your free right hand. He uses his right hand to pull the-stick-thing (I forgot what its called 😭), and you glared at him with how harshly he did so as your left hand was tied to his left. As you guys left the scene with the police car, you broke the silence between you two.

"Lilia what the hell was that? We could've gotten shot or died! We can just escape the cell with their help, considering we were just aired on live TV."

"Here I thought you'd finally praise me. I save you, you know?" he rolled the steering with only one hand and smirked at your annoyed face.

"You mean using me as a shield, so you don't get shot?" You rolled your eyes.

Lilia sighs as his advances were once again thwarted by you. He will soon definitely soften that rock hard heart.

---

Dayum almost 500+ words in under 10 minutes? Sheesh, my mind and fingers works fast when that old man is involve- I used the endearment sweetcheeks because I'm sure that his cheeks are tasty and sweet, once you bite into it 😋

Hello Aqua 🌸💚🌷

I’m good thank you 🫶💞 Sherlock you say 👀 are you going to watch any of the live action adaptions? I recommend reading the moriarty the patriot manga/anime. It’s really good 💞💞

Bat dad just has a way of inspiring us 😌🥰

“His cheeks are tasty and sweet” reminded me of this meme I have saved 🤣

…Lilia, that is not the way to get to someone’s heart 🤣😅

In fact, it’s perfect way for you to get kicked in the shin and then maybe a kiss…if we are nice about it.

Next thing we know, you’re going to try to fake your death for a kiss or confession or something 😆😅

This scenario kind of reminded me of this song, have you heard of it? But the song was more of a…bad ending. Lilia and us got lucky compared to the couple in the song.

[redtsundere-writes]

Out Of My League | Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast

Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast x f!reader

Part 1: Facecheck.

Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Sypnosis: A chronically online girl doesn´t know that her Discord friend may be someone she already knows.

Contents: Modern AU, High school AU, a lot of bad jokes and meme references. No warnings.

Word count: 2023 (omg this year)

Author's Note: So... this gremlin's birthday was yesterday and since he has been on my mind lately. I decided to write him a fic cause why not?

Thanks to @mclovin1803 for helping me with proofreading and picking a title. (If this is out of charcater, blame him)

You were the exact definition of an introvert. You weren't good at talking to people you didn't know, your social battery doesn't last long, and you get excited when your friends cancel plans at the last minute. You like your loneliness and spending the afternoon playing video games and your guitar.

As an introvert, you didn't have many friends aside from a few classmates and some family members you were close with. Luckily, you had several friends on Discord. Among them was someone by the username of Rhaast. You didn't chat with him often because he wasn't as chronically online as you were, but he knew you were always down to play League of Legends with him.

One night while you were comfortably playing the new Super Mario Wonder on the switch, you received a message from Rhaast.

@Rhaast: League?

It had been two weeks since you had last played together, so you put the Switch aside and accepted. You opened League and put your headphones on to hop on the call with your friend.

"Hello there," you greeted him like Obi Wan as you waited for Rhaast to enter the game. He laughed at the reference. He had a deep, kinda seductive voice. You didn't know for sure if he was pretending or if he really talked like that.

"How have you been?," you asked while looking for your nightly playlist on Spotify to set the mood.

"Great. Yesterday I went out with a girl and today I broke up with her." You rolled your eyes at the comment. You knew Rhaast was quite the heartbreaker for discarding women like they were underwear. Personally, you didn't like that about your friend.

"And now why did you break up with this one,?" you asked as you started the game.

"I only went out with her once and she was already bugging me. My phone kept ringing because of her, so I blocked her," Rhaast answered with a chuckle. “Thank God I'll never date this asshole,” you thought.

"I wish there were more girls like you. You wait for me to send you a message and you are always down to play with me." He said while locking in Zed as his champion while you locked in Qiyana.

"I’m always down to play with you because I don't have any friends, not because I like you." You kamikazed by words.

"Damn, and I thought you had a crush for me," Rhaast joked. "Come to think of it, you never tell me anything about your love life," He suggested so he could hear some gossip.

"I haven't told you because I don't have any," you said, pretending to cry. Rhaast laughed at your foolish performance.

"Come on, you must have at least a crush or something," he insisted curiously as the game began. There was no one you liked... but someone caught your eye.

You felt like a fool for getting nervous every time you saw Kayn and his group of friends walk past you in the hallways. Kayn was a popular kid from a higher grade. He was good at sports, had good grades, was a member of an upcoming band, and was always surrounded by friends, while you were the complete opposite. You knew you shouldn't be nervous seeing him around because there was no chance that he would have the slightest interest in you. The majority of girls in your class drooled over him, so he was free to choose whoever he wanted. Why would he choose you?

Also, you had no good reason to go over and talk to him. The only chance you had, you blew it. You still cringe at yourself at night when you remember that moment. In your first days of high school, you had no friends and you just started learning to play guitar. When you tried to leave the music room that day, you ran into a tall boy with pink hair, perfect black eyebrows that indicated the true color of his hair, piercings decorating his ears, a pointy nose and a magnificent athletic body. Everything about him could catch anyone's attention but his most striking feature was his beautiful eyes with heterochromia, his left eye was green and the right; red. You were a moth and he was an RGB lightbulb that demanded your attention.  

You stood paralyzed infront of him. You clutched your music sheet notebook to your chest in nervousness. He was way too attractive and you didn't know how to feel about it. You tried to greet him but only stutters came out of your mouth. It was true that you weren't good at starting conversations but you had never been at a loss for words.

"Can you move? I want to get in," he asked while looking at you as if you were an inferior being.

"Ah... Yes-s, I'm s-sorry." You couldn't help your stutter as you stepped aside so he could enter the room. The Adonis didn't say anything else, but your eyes were still glued on him. The boy saw you watching him without shame.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked directly. You quickly shook your head and ran out of the room. “You are so stupid, you made yourself look like you have never seen a man!” You thought embarrassed as you felt your face getting hot. This was definitely your canon event.

One day, Rhaast sent you an ad. Riot was hosting a promotional convention for players at the capital at the end of the month.

@Rhaast: You goin'?

You: Maybe, sounds good.

@Rhaast: Let me know if you goin'.

You: Are you?

@Rhaast: If you go, I'll go.

You: K.

Thus the days passed until the day of the event arrived. You got ready with your best clothes: A K/DA sweatshirt, freshly washed pants, and the least dirty sneakers you had. You left your apartment nervously to finally touch some grass and meet your friend in real life. After a tedious subway ride, you arrived at the convention center where the event was taking place.

You: I'm here. Where are you?

@Rhaast: Wait for me at the entrance. I'm almost there.

You saw that there were several people waiting for their respective friends at the entrance, so you decided to stay in that area. You waited patiently while playing on your phone until you heard some girls next to you get excited.

"Look, it's Kayn, he looks so good!" They whisper to each other. You looked up quickly when you heard that name and, sure enough, the Adonis was there. “What is Kayn doing here?!” you thought as you tried to hide behind your phone as if you pretended he wasn't there, but your eyes traveled quickly between the screen and him. He was wearing a black crop with a jacket on top, tight pants and silver chains on his neck, fingers and waist. “Oh no, he's hot!” You thought nervously, wanting to run away. Your heart wasn't taking it.

You felt envious when the girls next to you didn't hesitate to approach him. Seeing the confidence they had to greet and talk to him, you felt that they had already known each other before. “I wish I could do that,” you thought.

"I didn't know you played League." One of the girls commented.

"I don´t play much," Kayn answered without taking much notice. Looking cool as heck.

"Are you here alone?" The other girl asked.

"Well, I'm meeting with a friend. I'll call her, " he said while searching for his friend's contact on his phone.

*Incoming call from Rhaast*

Out of nowhere, your phone started ringing from an incoming call on Discord. It was Rhaast. “No way,” you thought as you looked at Kayn and your cell phone simultaneously. “No, this must be a coincidence” you thought before answering.

"I'm here, where are you?" Your knees felt weak as Kayn spoke the words he was hearing over the phone. “Kayn is Rhaast?!” you thought in disbelief.

Kayn quickly found you and your eyes met. The last time that happened was a year ago. You knew Rhaast for over two years. That meant that Kayn, the cutest boy in school, had heard your horrible jokes, your fangirl screams when you saw Faker at almost every World Cup, and your burps for two years. You wanted the earth to swallow you whole at that moment.

"Oh, there she is. See ya," he hung up the call and said goodbye to his friends. He approached you while you were dying internally. You were lucky a wall was holding you up because you were sure you were going to pass out at any moment. “Breathe, maybe he doesn't remember you,” you thought.

"Hey! Why didn't you tell me we went to the same school, snake girl?" he joked. You covered your face in shame with your hands. “He does remember!” You thought, defeated. You still didn't believe that Kayn was still talking to you.

"Shut up, Rhaast… I mean, Kayn." You said, pulling your face out of its hiding spot. Kayn smiled, looking at your blushing cheeks.

"So you know me," he said confidently.

"How can I not know you? My classmates can't stop talking about you," you said defensively.

"I don't mean that," he said as he brought his face closer to yours. You backed up as far as the wall would allow you.

"Just look at you, you're crazy for me." He mocked in a flirting way. You couldn't help but to blush once again.

He was right, not only did he caught your eye, you liked him. You liked him more than you thought. Not because he was the popular Kayn, who is in a band and all the girls fight over him, but because he was also Rhaast. The one guy who laughed at your horrible jokes, the one who didn't criticize you every time you screamed when you saw Faker and burped when you did to match your energy.

"Ha! Says the guy that I always carry,” you mocked him back. Kayn laughed. That laugh that made you feel better in the small corner of your room.

"That's my girl!" He said before taking your hand. You blushed at the unexpectedly intimate act. His hand gently squeezed yours to guide you to the convention entrance.

You spent the whole afternoon chatting and spending all your money on merchandise. You got to know Kayn better than you ever thought. He was a little bit blunt, but nicer than you pictured. It was like you were seeing the other side of Rhaast. Kayn also got to know you on another level when you started to feel comfortable around him. You were a girl with whom he could see himself talking for many hours everyday without getting bored, something he had not felt with anyone else.

You and Kayn said goodbye to a wonderful day together. Both felt their hearts beating like crazy for each other. You had spent the entire day together but you still missed each other once you parted ways. You arrived home and then threw yourself on the bed to start screaming about the exciting day you just had. You had finally talked to Kayn and he seemed to like you. And boy did he like you...

The next day, another school day had ended, so you decided to go to the music room. On your way, you saw Kayn and his friends heading towards the exit. Finally, you got the courage to do something you've always wanted to do.

"Hey, Kayn!" You called him from your place. He turned around to see you among the other students passing by in the hallway.

"Wanna play later?" You asked, blushing lightly for attracting his attention. His friends began to tease him that a girl was talking to him that way, but he didn't care. Kayn smiled as he saw you standing there, blushing but determined.

"You know I do!" He said before turning around and getting back with his friends. You smiled. Maybe he wouldn't have chosen you before, but now you had a chance. 

Order your own fanfic! (Starting price: $5 USD)

Masterlist.

[mrsmiagreer]

Favorite Redacted quotes but the list gets longer everytime I find a new one

“And the energizer bunny…Takes a tumble” -Milo

“Is this why you put up with my memes and shit? Because i gotta big dick and a great ass??” - Guy

“WHAT ECHO?!” — ALL OF REDACTED aka echo

“Do you love me?” — Imp!Damien

“Keep his name out of your FUCKING mouth” -Sam

“Laying in comfortable silence, hands roaming lazily betwixt our supine bodies, tracing gentle patterns across supple skin…Yes that was all about my eyes😂” — Guy

“This isn’t like a dog or something. Like normal wolves are big. Shifter wolves are even bigger…and i’m on the bigger end of that too” -David

“Is David being a total groomzilla about your side? Oop— Heard that-” Asher

“But I bet I’d lay down for it” — Vincent

“Make it two” —Sam

“Great deal on a large sausage” —Guy

“Will you marry me, Angel?” —David

“….Isn’t that right??” “Heyyy no tickling!!” — Gavin and Caelum

“No not just yes…say the words…say the whole thing” —Vincent

“Ohh— You are getting close! Hi! Hi baby….I love youuu” —Guy

“We are NOT matching. I am wearing my work clothes, YOU’RE wearing contraband” — David

“someone please get the gentleman a door prize”— Blake

“I was thinking a little less nature documentary and little more battle bots you know like i want you to just fucking SNAP me like a twig😭” -Guy

“No! You can’t tell me I taste good >:(” — Lasko

“Who are you and what have you done with my lover??” — Guy

“I know baby I know” — Milo

“Staaapppp you’re being rude… Yes RUDE you heard me!” —Guy

“…..do it— hmmmMmMmMmm okay okay….That had a little less finesse than i’m used to” —Milo

“You know what wordplay reminds me of? Tounge twisters!! And you know what tongue twisters remind me of? Tongue kissing!! Let’s explore that topic shall we?” —Guy

“The goal is healin me, you can’t be hittin me at the same time” —Milo

“Show me that wagon ya draggin sexy uehh” -Guy

“Who’s that bitch we hate?” — Asher

“Any hole is a goal” — Guy

“Just move your ass…..hmm i didn’t mean to move it quite like that but you’ll get no complaints outta me” —David

“My mouth is good for a lot more than just…talkin” —Milo

“It’s our bedroom….It’s our bed” —Geordi

“Hey Baaaaabyy” —Ollie

“I’ve sat with these feelings long enough to know how to manage them I promise” —Blake

“Call me that one more time and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow” —David

“I cant be another mistake…because it’ll break me” —Blake

“I’m sure seeing him is like….like those healing classes. A nice diversion😊” —President Moore

“Milo…play nice” — Imp!Asher

“You don’t have to order anyone to do it…Just take volunteers” — Imp!Milo

“I just set my fucking curtains on fire” -Damien

“Who taught you how to do healing magic?? A construction worker with a jackhammer?!” —Milo

“You’re taking me so fucking good” —Milo

“I’m trying to get off of you…I don’t wanna crush you” —David

“Awe yeah i often walk into work with shotgun shells in my fucking brief case” —Milo

“I cant read your mind baby” — Vincent

“Welcome home my love. How was your day?” -Gavin

“Park it on me Sweetheart” — Milo

“That does not feel like searching for a key Lovely” —Vincent

“Do i need to set this stuff down or are you gonna behave?” —Vincent

“Yeah, no thinking about work today. Or we’ll come over there and kick your ass” —Milo

“Hey…sorry i’m late” —Blake

“Do I look like i care??” —Blake

“I’m a grown ass man” —Milo

“I DON’T whimper…” —Damien

“You know what we do to…Bad Boyss around here—💀💀💀” —Guy

“Did I really just get drive by kink shamed??!” —Asher

“Awweee poor baby” —Asher

“Keep it in your pants you two. I already mopped this morning😒” —David

“…boop” —Sam

“I don’t want this for you baby” —Milo

“Boot Licker” —Milo

“I’ll always find you” —Avior

“Wexler, Greer is causing problems at the west entrance” — That One Guard😭

“That wasn’t rhetorical. Answer me” —Imp!Damien

“I love you more than human words can convey” —Gavin

“Yes baby” —Gavin

“Ruth Holland are you here? Hello? Hello?” —Milo

“Fuck, bounce on my fucking dick” — Guy

“Moan. They moaned. You moaned.” — Geordi

“Pfftttt hahaha- Okay— WuHwuhWwaA—” — Guy

“This isn’t happening!!” — Ivan

“I don’t like you, and I’m not going to” — Alexis

“Hold still i’ll grab you one of mine” — Milo

“Bad. Worse. Better.” — Vincent

“Go kick that ass….champ? Oh God-” — Lasko

“No can do baby” -Huxley

“I’m just fucking with you” — Sam Collins

“I needa stop saying fuck. Fuck. Sorry. And i needa stop saying sorry. fuck. sorry. FUCK i mean FUCK so— oh fuck😭 Oh my god i am such an idiot” — Lasko

“I wanna touch” — Stranger/Caller/John..?

“Fuck! Fuck me—” — Lasko Moore

“Can I cum on you?” — Milo Greer

“I am not gonna have ants runnin round my house cause of you😭” — Sam Collins

“It is not funny, you FUCK” — Milo Greer

“I’ll spank your ass brat. Not like it’d be the first time. Or the last.” — Milo Greer

“You’ll be safe” — Blake

“Well of course it’s gaudy. I made it” — Gavin

“Shit Darlin. You really weren’t gonna say anything about this?” — Sam Collins

“It’s all good” — Huxley

“I hate to make a guy lose his fuckin’ noodles” — Milo Greer

“Where do you want these fangs baby?” — Sam Collins

“Do you have any idea just how much energy is coming off of you right now?” — Fool!Gavin

“Sorry” —Fool!James

“I gotta go faster before i start…fucking…crying or something😭” — Asher

“Moan for me baby” — Milo Rebane

“I’m still so hard omg…I think I can cum again” —Asher

“Because we’re going on a hike, baby” — Damien

“You want my body, you want my cooperation, then you let me have this. you let me have them” — Blake

“Blink twice if you need help buddy” — Asher Talbot

(I will be updating this list when i find/remember new ones😊)

[the-s1lly-corner]

I got an idea from the child reader request.

Like the same wolf in sheep's clothing concept but like FULL SWEET TO DARK PERSONALITY.

Wanna hear?

So basically child reader is like cute and innocent at first sight but IS A TOTAL DEMON, Having a very dark sense of humor, Sometimes out of nowhere walk up to someone of the gang and threaten to gouge out their eyes while they sleep, they are always with an cute expression but turns out that they like to cause chaos and havoc just like Jax but in a more creepy way.

For example, SOMEHOW reader is caught hanging from the ceilling scaring the fuck out of gangle just because its fun. Or staying in the dark waiting for someone so they can jumpscare them.

Basically child reader uses their cute-kid as an advantage to scare others off.

TADC x child!reader who is a menace! (platonic)

wasnt quite sure what to title this so!! some segments may be shorter than others since im still trying to get a hand of writing/coming up with ideas for certain characters (cough cough gangle) (i love her sm but shes so hard for me to write idk why) hope you enjoy! majority of this post is just me tormenting the cast TToTT

CAINE:

oh my god you kind of remind him of bubble but more... flkmddlvm

makes a time out rule when you keep making threats to the other circus members, that behavior is not family friendly!

he might even consider trying to go into the code and censoring your common phrases as well as some other words, if he has the capabilities for that

still tries to be a dad to you, though, wants to be a good role model and guide you in the right direction for the sake of everyone else

the first time you say something... morbid to him he just

slack jawed, stares at you before shaking himself back to reality and just

bro is astonished he was not ready to hear that today, let alone hear it from a small child

POMNI:

you know how in the other post with a child!reader i mention that pomni is vaguely uncomfortable around kids since she knows they can dish out some real cruelty

take this idea and multiply it by 10x

actually looks like that one sad spongebob meme with the big eyes and tear when shes put in charge of keeping an eye on you during an in house adventure

meek attempt to get you to behave

not much to say here imo, since its like an amped up version of the last post :O

JAX:

makes a joke about how youre already entering your edgy phase, he now has to watch his back lest some of his digital fur be shaved off

fear does not come close to describing how he feels when he discovers that you somehow found keys to some peoples rooms. he hopes you dont have a key to his room

and he thought he was hot shit, but no some random kid makes him fear the consequences of his actions

is this his punishment for his constant bullshit? what did he do in particular to deserve this?

instinctively looks up at the ceiling when he enters a room to make sure youre not about to drop on him

congrats, youve instilled fear into the funny rabbit

RAGATHA:

the 'nightmare kid' thing some babysitters go through at least once in their life, but instead of tantrums and such its just you talking about how you sometimes tear apart the dolls that came with your room. to the doll person

very uncomfortable by a lot of the stuff you casually say, even more so because its coming from a kid. though i think she would be uncomfortably be talk like that in general

SWEARS that one day shes going to blink and youll suddenly be right next to her or within her proximity

like on one hand she wants to try to guide you to be less dark, like caine, but i think she would need someone to back her up because she cannot get the image of the torn up dolls out of her head

KINGER:

poor man

like even if the things you said were empty threats, he would be scared shitless

if he isnt already in his fort, hes retreating to it the second he sees you around

kind of funny since kinger is in his late late 40s and youre a kid and hes terrified of you

anyways

less of a discomfort thing and more so scared that youre going to go through with the things you say

he walked into the common area one day and saw you literally crawling across the walls, he was with gangle when he saw it. you see his irises of his eyes shrink

doesnt even bother going to his fort, which is under where you currently are

he just

slowly

backs away, he can find refuge in his room... unless you have a key to his room

ZOOBLE:

less discomfort more annoyance with zooble, i think that while she would find it funny when a kid swears she finds people talking like that to be cringe; kid or not

the only one who isnt really scared of you. sure you threaten to disassemble them constantly and hide their pieces across the grounds to assure they can never be whole again, but they're just internally cringing while you try to make them turn away

in a weird way you two create an odd dynamic where you just go on and zooble just halfway listens, you kinda just talk at them

like while caine tries to be your dad, and ragatha tries to be.. something.. zooble is like a weird 'friend'

probably has the most potential to become a friend and get you to chill, but thats just based on my experience

like if its an attention/reaction thing, zooble isnt going to give it to you, which kind of. ruins the point of it for you, and you just

stop, or at least tone it down over time

or maybe thats just me seeing zooble having the potential to be an older sibling figure

GANGLE:

the gif is gangle when you get your hands on her

i understand that she cries easily, but like, you have probably made her cry at least once either on accident or on purpose

i think shes one of the few characters out of the cast who would probably start avoiding you for the sake of her emotional state, but she would feel bad about it since at the end of the day you're a kid

refuses to go anywhere near you when her comedy mask is broken, because otherwise shes a glum mess

you know how in poppee the performer, kedamono's mask sometimes just. pops off when he gets scared or surprised (well it happens regardless of expression/mood but yk)

gangle does that when she sees you LITERALLY CRAWLING ON THE WALLS LIKE A BUG

how are you even doing that

she doesnt wanna know, actually

"imma tie you up double knotted style" *high pitched crying*

[lizaluvsthis]

What If (BR AU): SMG4 lost all of his vision during the arc?

Title: Helping Onwards, Putting Entries Living Each Soul's Sympathy

HOPELESS

Tags: Fluff/Angst/Comfort

Previous Chapter...

Summary: Four with his permanent loss of vision, it's been too difficult for him to manage. But with a help of his crew and someone in particular helped him reach up and discover something new. PART 2/2 COMPLETE

"I'm sorry..." 

Tears streamed down from his face, hiding the soft and quick breaths. This strong and emotional feeling... it was... it wasn't just nothing...

This was something...

A 'thing' he couldn't quite define it.  

But that doesn't matter either way, what matters right now is HIS condition.

"Three?" SMG4 lifted his head, in the feet of shivering from a warm heart inside. His tender for the man gave back a sad look that he could not describe.

It must be so sad... losing visions and not even knowing what Three is giving that face right now...

With no such response, Four's arms leaned forward. Letting go of Three's hand, leisurely reaching for his face. He could feel a light touch of water from his gloves with his right hand caressing Three's cheek.

"You're- are you- are you- crying?" "N-no I'm not you idiot! I wasn't crying! Just- just- something got in my eye..." 

Liar...

SMG4 thought, three wouldn't make up any excuses for that. He was Mostly bad at lying and would call him the "not-so-good-liar" whenever he lied back right in front of his face.

This was different, but he knows how Three acts this way. Even though his eyes are covered with an empty black void of nothingness, he knows SMG3 very well. 

Sure, being linked with the other guardian's emotions was something. But it got him feeling slightly confused about how Three had a blasting fill with mixed emotions when he was with Four.

He doesn't quite get the number on this, why would Three cry? Why would he tho? Honestly, I'm thinking of which. He'd barely even see the man cry at other moments of his life with him.

Not just because of something stupid like- games, or- magazines of Justin Bieber thrown out¿ his other memes lik-

Wait a minute.

"OH- SH-T!" SMG4 Screamed, with his voice bouncing back from the sound of echoes in the room were heard.

"I'M SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING ABOUT TERRANCE- I know how much it hurts losing someone you meant to, a lot."

SMG3 gasped, getting himself pulled out from the chair and held tight from Four's arms hugging him in an uncomfortable position.

Into the front where SMG4 hugged him, Three placed both hands to the sides. Keeping his position stable. "You and Terrance seem so close..." 

The tears had taken him aback, sure Terrance was his assistant. He was like a son to him. But it wasn't the reason that mattered just for it.

"He was my closest child than any other dead memes I've taken care of. Besides with any other children of mine that you killed..." 

SMG3 glared down at the memory Four had done. 

"It's... from the past... I've moved on already like I said." He dropped the subject, in mentions of Terrance. He couldn't bear to remember such painful memories and the fun times he and Terrance made.

But he couldn't blame SMG4 even tho he hated the man so much. "Do you... still hate me?" Four's hands shook, upset with the actions he'd done. 

A long pause holds within the air, contemplating to himself if he would want to tell the truth, but he'd rather shove that marker up his ass if he would too.

SMG4 had been waiting for his response, holding his patience. 

"SMG3?" 

.

..

...

"I don't know." 

When three tried to respond, he couldn't answer straight away. It felt like the words were choking his throat.

Unable to answer the most obvious things...

"What do you-" The man in white and blue spoke that us when suddenly abrupted their conversation.

A nerve-wracking scream from an Italian, barged into the room with a Mario Kart destroying the door.

With Three taking him on the cover, Four hugged himself. He didn't know how to react and if he did, what should he express? In what words will he put?

Four just stayed put, this is all enough for today. Everything that is happening puts a spiral on his head.

How could he- SMG3- protect his rival even tho they aren't enemies anymore? 

Even tho they both hate each other, the nerve of wanting to kill one another, the HATE they both keep gaining. 

But still, these actions that four had caused. Were still permanent from the things that he'd done to damage three.

How- why would SMG3 still help SMG4 after everything…?

“The door was locked.” The fat Italian hopped out of his broken kart, walking towards SMG4. SMG3 lets go of Four before Mario can even react. With each step the man’s footsteps took, Four listened to the sound of how it synched from the heart beating in his chest.

SMG3 took a step back but immediately tugged in hugging them both by Mario himself. “Mario’s-a-glad you both did it! But S-M-G-4…?” He shared glances between the two guardians, then to SMG4. He cupped his glove to Four’s right cheek, looking closer to see those grey eyes reflecting light from the ceiling. 

“I’m alright Mario, you don't have to be worried.” “BUT MARIO SHOULD WORRY!” Smg3 eyed the fat Italian, he was four’s closest friend. A dearest one. When will he ever stop thinking about this jealousy that happens whenever Mario is near him when they’ve been both PRACTICALLY TOGETHER in some ways in a fight?

He didn’t want to keep on pressing buttons. He’ll just play the role that he’ll put through.

As a Meme Guardian with a bond to one another.

“Mario has been worried about you! Thinking if you barely even made it alive but you are! He thinks you could’ve died!” He screamed “MAMA” feeling the words bounce back from the thick walls. “MARIO THINKS YOU DIED AFTER GIVING EVERYTHING FROM YOUR POWER TO SAVE YOUR GAY FRIEND!” He started whining like a baby with his tears bursting out in the corner of his eyes.

Both of the meme guardians winced at Mario’s comment when the mention of ‘gay’ was heard.

“THE HELL? I’M NOT GAY FOR HIM YOU ASS!” SMG3 smacked off Mario’s head making it form into a completely flat folded face, he sat right beside SMG4. He didn’t know what he was doing at all. He never stopped and kept on doing so. (not just because to make sure he was there. It’s to keep him safe, and to remind that he’s already got his back.)

SMG3 covered his chest with both arms, his legs tilted on the other side where he could give foursome space of his own.

Mario is a good person. In some ways when it’s for his friends, he has a kind heart and a soft one when it’s with the ones he loves the most. But he couldn’t handle pain like how Three had dealt it with his way. It pities him.

“I’m okay now Mario like I said, I just lost my vision-” “Just lost? JUST LOST?” He threw out a “MOMA F-CKER” and ranted about what could’ve gotten worse than losing both eyes for sightseeing.

“Alright, red that's enough! Cut SMG4 some slack will you?” Meggy yanked off Mario’s back overall. “He doesn’t want to!!! He needs to be on his friend’s side! AAAA!!!!!” Mario tried to resist but ended up getting pulled out of the room. 

…

And it’s just that. Once again the silence covered the room with thicker ones, both of the boys were far more speechless.

“What- what just happened…” SMG4 asked looking nowhere but upfront, SMG3 sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. “Mario is being the typical again.” SMG3 said with a slight kick of his right foot from the air.

But anyhow. Smg4 is lucky to have a friend like Mario, he knows it’s not much for the red man that could offer any good benefits but does come by very much to hang around with Four. What he’s worst at? No one knows.

If SMG3 were to think after Four has been fully recovered he can go back to the Peach’s castle and probably teach himself how to walk with a stick.

Now that’s a bit improper.

SMG3 thought, if he were to leave four right now they both are going to have such huge complications with each other or more than that- HIS PARTNER IS BLIND. So maybe the option of leaving right after is more of what a d-ckhead would do for a living, he may be a bastard for ruining and destroying Four’s life again and again. But now that he’d changed after giving up? He didn’t even care wherever four goes.

He thought he moved on already but some part of his guts pulled him close to his link. The connection he and his ex-rival shared was a bit of a match and the future’s destiny for them both to protect the universe. How would they both still use their meme energy powers even tho one is blind?

What’s worse? Leaving Four solves all of his problems now that he’s blind? Or literally, stay with him for the rest of his life?

It was an exception for him that he couldn’t even decide with his own choices. How could he, the Hero, be the one who risked his own life to save his mortal enemy?

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

It hurt him. How could he…? It wasn’t fair at all.

“You could’ve…” SMG3 turned his head to him. “Huh?” SMG4 never quite caught the attention of what Three ever wanted from his life, but now that he has done all that. Saving his eye, almost the result of his dying is a tragic way to think of now that you’d want to consider leaving the blind guy to deal with his own.

“You could’ve just left me out there…”

Four could’ve left three out there, back when Niles almost took out three’s right eye.

“And I didn’t, I saved you.” SMG4 calmly replied, brushing his fingers against the edge of the sheets. “I didn’t want to lose a friend of mine you know? That’s why I had to act it all out.”

“Do you still hate me?” 

He recalled his words.

Despite everything, there were no words left to say in a sentence.

“Three…?” SMG4 wanted to look three in the eyes, but he couldn’t. The man didn’t answer.

“What was the reason?”

—-

SMG3 didn’t think through, he didn't know what words he could say to the man. Why must it be so hard for him to come up with the answer rather than just saying one word? Sure he hated the man for about so long now, but the problem of him is…. 

What exactly was the problem at this point?

Why does he still hate Four? Does he? Yes? No? What is taking him so long to respond?

He doesn’t know, of course,7 he doesn’t know. What else would be a better way to tell him?

“Three, the truth. Now.”

“I-” “I need to know if you still- please…” SMG3 stared at his faded white eyes, something about it made his body tingle in such a sensitive feeling that it wouldn’t let him look away.

Staring back at the man’s eyes just made him shiver, feel guilt, and feel the bottom of his pit hit him the most. 

“Three….?” “I don’t know!” SMG3 cried out loud, both his knees now dropped down fully to the ground. Sobbing relentlessly waiting for what's going to happen next.

SMG4 stayed quiet, he didn’t know what words he could say to him but listened. 

Three moved towards Four while both of his knees were down on the floor, now holding both of Four’s hands.

“I- I hated you since before…. When we were enemies, back when I tried to steal away your videos, back before this happened, and even taking it back from the past. I’m not even sure what to think about it anymore. If I still do or not.”

SMG4 is easy to hate on, his stupid antics, his stupid sh-ts that were tossed again and again, he was just as miserable as Three is. They could never understand each of their signals. It already messed them both up one time, it could have gotten even worse if Four pushed more buttons and double-jointed his trick up his sleeve. 

He can’t blame SMG4 after assuming he’d be doing something wrong during his uprising popularity. He was the bad guy, always has. Why else would Three expect that things are okay now between him and Four even after the stupid cruel things he did to him?

“You were an -sshole, I was a f-cking disaster… I don’t even have any idea what made you still stay close here with me after the things I did…” He spat out the words from his throat, he couldn’t believe the words he was saying out loud in front of him.

Three felt the tears from his eyes wouldn’t go away. He tried to stop this heartbreaking, tried to hold it inside of him yet he failed once again. “But I-I don’t hate you anymore…” Four looked at the man in worry. “I gave up on being evil like I said, I couldn’t blame you for assuming… You still see me the way how you always do.”

“I’ll… never be… good enough…”

Four brushed the tears away with two thumbs softly pressing to his cheeks. “You’re already good enough, to me… To everyone in here isn’t that already enough for you?” He leaned closer, bumping his forehead onto his partner. 

“I may have been a b-tch to you and everything that I did. It was my fault too, not yours only so don’t blame yourself.” he ran both of his arms through his back slowly feeling each other’s breath. 

Three spotted his lips, staring, gazing, and slowly… started to get closer finding an opportunity to kiss his lips. SMG4 could feel his soft lips touching his, the burning sensation, hearts now collided together. The fluttering feeling from his stomach and his heart hammering. Four closed his eyes, seeing imaginative colors whirling yellow, blue, purple, and red  

The combination of blue and Purple made an amazing explosion pulsing of Indigo. 

He loved this feeling, he needed this feeling, they both carved their names to each other’s souls knowing that they belonged together. They finally pulled each other apart after that kiss, it was magical, it was emotional, breathtaking…

Three covered his mouth in shock at what he had just done, it started with making sure the guy was safe then kissing his lips. Does it even matter anymore? What is this strange feeling that wrapped him around? Is this the meaning of love? Did he do it after 8 years of his rivalry with the most important and loving person right in front of him?

To experience the feeling of Love?

Four was too stunned to speak with his mouth open, his eyes were in shock. His cheeks were tinted red, therefore started questioning his life between SMG3 He never thought much of it but now that he does, he was left with so many thoughts about it. 

He never thought falling in love with his arch nemesis was soon to discover each of their tainted mistakes.

“I- I’m sorry- I-I- didn’t know what came over me- Four I can-” SMG4 quirked up his cheeky grin and started giggling, by a low sound of his giggle grew louder. He started tearing up in tears of laughter. “Why are you laughing dumb-ass?!” furrowed eyebrows formed from the man in purple, the confusion on his face says it all. 

Mixed Feelings sent signals to his brain, he now wasn’t sure if Four was even joking around or laughing at him. “Are you making fun of me?” “N-no!” SMG4 flicked a tear from the corner of his eye.

“I was laughing because I never thought you’d also feel the same, it took us more than five more years just to understand…” “Understand what?” SMG3’s body stiffened after four rested both hands on his biceps. “This that we had a falling… both of us falling in love with each other at the worst moments to start.” Four smiled at Three now finally understanding what the man meant.

Three joined in, and both waves of laughter escaped out of the room’s atmosphere. They both are different, but love is always here. Unconditionally giving them strength, growing stronger day by day without even realizing it.

Love may be blind but it couldn’t be hidden. When push came to shove, his heart landed on the Blue man, and he did as well. SMG3 started hugging Four even more tightly. “Thank you…” SMG4 lowered his hand going down to place it to the man’s waist. “I’ll be here, always…. I’ll watch over you, I’ll take care of everything…” 

“Woah now, didn’t expect you had this soft side honestly I wouldn’t mind… wait- taking care of me?” SMG3 placed his hand on the man’s shoulder. “SMG1 told me I should look out and watch over you more often now. I don’t know why or what he meant about that, I wouldn’t mind honestly. At least I get to check up on you.”

SMG4 smiled weakly, he knew something that Three didn’t. 

What images he could describe when SMG1 told Four about what his arm looked like, even when Three is around now that he checks up on Four? He’ll surely know about this sooner or later.

In other ways, he won’t tell him about this just yet. 

“So, does this mean we’re both- uhh… you know?” SMG4 asked while holding Three’s hand. Three smiled back at him. “Yes, we are, unless… You don’t want to?” Three smirked making four roll his eyes now both of them flirting.

“Alright-alright we’re alright now, stop playing with my feelings.” 

-- THE END --

[canmom]

the adventure of canmom at weird weekend (part 1)

is this 'adventure of' joke getting old? like I've already done the 'translate into scots gaelic' variant. it's not exactly an adventure if it's a half hour bike ride is it? ah fuckit

This weekend was the Weird Weekend film festival in Glasgow! it's the tiny kind of film festival with one screen and folding chairs - they did get their hands on a real beast of a projector mind you...

Look at that concentrated beam of pure film. Kind of awesome to actually see a lightfield intense enough to scatter off random bits of dust in the air honestly.

This is apparently the fourth time this festival has run - though as is often the case I'm terribly out of the loop and only heard about it when @birdfriender told me it was on lol. It's also only my third time going to a film festival (the previous times both being Annecy, a very different kind of festival). It was a great time: the organisers have excellent taste and there's a lot of deep cuts, and made some good friends among the attendees.

On Friday night I showed up for the opening evening of interactive film - this included a short film/video essay commissioned for the festival based on of all things the Goncharov meme (seriously...), followed by a brief history of interactive film including the amusingly ill-fated venture of a certain former Microsoft guy called Bob something (I really should have written this down), and then someone called Puke ("everyone’s favourite genderfluid body fluid") came out dressed like this to oversee the actual event...

...and we watched of all things Final Destination 3 with the DVD feature that lets you switch in alternate scenes at various points (mostly death scenes). This was actually a pretty good time since it was my first time seeing a Final Destination film, and there was a good energy in the audience (although it seemed like the film always picked the opposite of what we voted for - not sure if that's a thematic point or programming error lol), but I'm glad the rest of the festival was more obscure stuff.

On Saturday, the festival proper began! I am reminded of a certain line in Exordia, in which the alien Ssrin gives her assessment of humanity, opening with "You’re a species of gangly distance runners, adapted to sweat and throw stuff. You like watching each other fuck." And indeed, there were few films this weekend that did not offer an opportunity to watch someone fuck. That's art for ya babey.

Looking back the clear highlight was Louise Weard's film Castration Movie I: Traps, but more on that anon - let's start at the beginning. I ended up catching all but one of the films over the course of the weekend and there was maybe only one I'd call an outright miss, so great going in all.

On Saturday we opened with a pair of Hungarian films directed by György Révész, about an incredibly up himself intellectual-in-exile named Dr. János Bátky - the self insert of author Antal Szerb. the first film, The Loves of a Dilettante, sees Bátky going through a series of affairs with women around him - in each case abruptly ending the relationship because it doesn't conform to his specific fantasy. The reasons become increasingly absurd: at first Bátky wishes instead that his partner is a certain Countess, but when he chances to meet the lady herself, he refuses to believe she is who she says she is; at last another woman at the library turns out to be the secret admirer who has been sending Bátky gifts in the post, and he cannot stand to be pursued instead of the manipulative pursuer he fancied himself to be, and spurns her as well.

Bátky is very much the butt of the joke in this film, and the ending sees everyone pretty much done with his bullshit; at the same time, he is an entertaining character, with a nonstop patter full of literary allusions, bizarre tangents and dubious observations. Not so charming that I can quite see why all these women are throwing themselves at him, but that's the conceit of the film I suppose! The actor playing him, Iván Darvas does a splendid job of making this sideburned wanker come across as interesting enough to carry a film.

The second Bátky film, The Pendragon Legend was a major tonal departure from the first - and also featured a different cast, despite including a number of the same characters. (Funnily enough Iván Darvas returns, but as a different character.) This time, rather than a study of Bátky's foibles, we have a complicated conspiracy at a stately home in wales, tying in with biological experiments, immortal sorcerors and the Rosicrucians, assassination plots, affairs; the works. It ends up a lot of fun, although the sheer number of characters made it a little hard to keep track of everything. Here, Bátky is pulled in as almost an observer of all the shit going down, and comes across a lot more sympathetic as a result.

All in all, a pretty fascinating pair of films and window into Hungarian cinema. With both these films set in London and Wales but voiced entirely in Hungarian, it seems to present an amusing alternate universe in which Hungary is the language of the UK, but nobody knows where Hungary is. It's a very old-school 'from outside' view of the UK, full of tea-sipping aristocrats and walks in the park and intellectual conversations in a library - it's quite funny to me. I haven't seen a ton of Hungarian film (mostly animation), but everything I've seen has been fascinating, and terribly literary.

A whole lot of the films in this festival were restorations of various out of print films, and that includes to the next one, Treasure Island directed by Scott King. This film has absolutely nothing to do with Stephenson's book, instead referring to the island near San Francisco where mail was processed during the second world war.

The basis of the story is the historical Operation Mincemeat, in which the British constructed a false identity for a corpse and planted it to mislead the Nazis; here the story is transplanted to the American invasion of Japan, but the focus is hardly wartime intrigue, instead the psychosexual inner lives of the two Americans who are involved in constructing the fake identity for the corpse. One of them secretly has two wives, one a white civilian woman and the other a Japanese woman who works in translation for the military; the other habitually invites other men for group sex with him and his wife and has a whole lot of hangups about how he is not gay, and that corpse is not at all sexy thank you.

As the film progresses, both of them are increasingly struck by visions of the dead man talking to them and the line between 'reality' and fantasy gets blurrier. It's a very well crafted and engaging film; shot in black and white in 1999, it aimed to challenge the rather sanitised and straightforwardly heroic picture of the 'Greatest Generation' who fought the war, presenting a more 'warts and all' look with the sexuality and racism and so forth in full view. I found it very effective! And it was cool to have the director there, a bearded American guy who spoke very confidently about his intentions for the film - I got to ask a question about how he kept all the fantasy and more literal elements straight while scripting the film.

(Do you find that when you get a Q&A session like this, you really want to ask a good question? Because I do. It's very silly. But like if I am going to hold the mic and get the spotlight on me... sure I don't want to waste peoples' time, but also I kinda want to come off well lmao. If I can get people to go 'ooh that's a good question' I feel like I've won audience Q&A, a real thing that is reasonable to want.)

In the afternoon we got a massive block of trans films old and new. We opened with Scarecrow in a Garden of Cucubers featuring Holly Woodlawn; Jaye Hudson of the TGirlsOnFilm Instagram account (which I was not previously familiar with) gave an introduction, telling the story of how Woodlawn came into the orbit of Warhol's 'Factory', and reading out some funny anecdotes about her experience on set. As Jaye talked about it, at that point in the 70s, trans girls were kind of the flavour of the month and we appeared in a bunch of films at the time, of which this was one.

The film sees a girl called Eve Harrington moving to New York in pursuit of the dream of becoming an actress; there she meets a series of weirdos from taxi-driving nuns to 'Mary Poppins', the drag empress of a kind of roommate finding service who's always trailed by worshipful boys. Most of the film sees Eve trying to find an apartment and a boyfriend, and running into various 70s archetypes along the way: a werewolf (also played by Woodlawn in boy mode), political lesbians, a plant-obsessed hippy, and finally a taciturn amnesiac Russian woman and her brother, a little person in a cowboy outfit who does pro wrestling. It's an intriguing slice of the 70s and of New York in particular.

Apparently this film has long been out of print and only narrowly evaded being lost media, so it's pretty sick to see. (And honestly despite the long cultural shadow they cast, I don't actually know that much about the girls around Warhol's 'Factory', so I was glad to get a look in.)

Next up we had 'An Untitled and Perfectly-Legal Coming-of-Age Clown Parody Film' - not hard to figure out what film this is (The People's Joker), especially with the still and trailer right there, but while the courts in the US seem to have come down on recognising it as a valid Fair Use defence, the legal status is still a bit up in the air in the UK.

This one got a lot of buzz for thumbing its nose at Warner Bros.' copyright empire - and of course being part of a recent wave of trans girl directed independent films such as I Saw The TV Glow. It's a trans girl coming of age story built around the Batman milieu, and clearly by people with a pretty thorough knowledge of Batman's cinematic history and DC universe deep cuts (the final act involves a musical number with Mx. Mxyzptlk, played as a puppet, which I'm sure means something if you read the comics).

It's largely shot on greenscreen, with all kinds of mixed media and animation segments - deliberately going for a grungy, chaotic look where it doesn't try to match lighting and animation styles (there's a whole bunch of indepedent animators contributing brief segments here, much as in Barber Westchester). The story concerns Joker the Harlequin, a trans girl who finally moves away from her controlling mother after being drugged with 'Smylex' for most of her life; now in Gotham she can transition, have a dodgy relationship with a trans guy (who is also a version of the Joker, and - spoilers - a former Robin), and build an 'anti-comedy' club with most of the usual Batman villains before going to confront the cultish institution which controls all legal comedy in post-'cyber war' America.

The film's strongest aspect is, fittingly, jokes - throwaway lines about the casually dystopian setting ('drag was outlawed after the explosion at RuPaul's fracking ranch' got a big laugh); a running joke of namedropping cancelled comedians with 'before the unpleasantness, of course' 'of course'; the playful riffs on past Batman films. The core story, though, is a fairly by-the-numbers queer/trans coming of age about self-acceptance, parental mistreatment and finding community, and a bit of a satire on SNL which is perhaps more specific to the director's history - I get the purpose of this kind of narrative and I certainly needed it at a time, and wrote similar stories myself, but it's a kind of story I'm kind of increasingly tired of hearing. I don't mean to say it's bad for that - just it doesn't resonate the way it might have ten years ago.

Honestly, I think trying to make a 'trans movie' kind of paints you into a formulaic corner. A corner very deftly avoided by the next movie, Louise Weard's Castration Movie Part I: Traps. This was the theatrical debut of this movie, though it's been available to download on Weard's gumroad for some time.

Louise Weard made herself kind of notorious for her previous movie, ten years ago, Computer Hearts, but even more so for her castration scene supercut at the Fantastic Fest '100 Best Kills' event a couple of years ago - something that has left her feeling a bit pigeonholed into castration scenes. Part of the joke about Castration Movie is then that it's eight hours (only half of that presently available) of trans girls being sad (emotional drama) without any castration until the very end of the movie. It doesn't even come up in the first half.

Technically, this is a four hour long movie - the first part of an eight hour long movie! - consisting largely of very long takes of naturalistic conversations shot on an incredibly grainy camera, now and then mixing that with musical montage and sex scenes. Something I'd raise an eyebrow at on description, and I want to kind of lead with that because like, no joke, this is legit one of the best movies I've seen; those four hours absolutely fly by. Incredibly sharp character writing, incredibly strong naturalistic acting - and unreasonably funny, just way too much.

The first hour or so focuses on Turner, an aspiring film director who spends his time working odd jobs at a film crew and increasingly torpedoing his relationship with his furry-artist girlfriend - someone he clearly isn't very compatible with and views with little actual interest, and his efforts to try and salvage the relationship ring false in ways he's clearly unable to see. But at every turn he doubles down and builds on his resentment and sense of emasculation, until he's picking fights with a living statue in the street and busting into his ex's room late at night.

Along the way we get all sorts of darkly funny conversations - Weard has an incredible eye for subtext and awkwardness, and can lend an ultimately very unsympathetic character like Turner enough sympathetic motivation to make his downward spiral completely human and convincing. It's both sad and terribly funny, perfectly pitched.

The punchline sees him posting to /r9k/ - and at this point we cut to a new story about 'Traps', the film's actual main character, a sex worker in Vancouver played by Weard herself, who is caught up with the drama of various partners and her own completely unresolved shit around transition to make her an entirely unsuitable would-be mentor figure to her friend Adeleine, who's kind of the deuteragonist of this act, cracking under the pressure of being the only one in the house with a shit but paying office job while her boyfriend gets top surgery.

The first act sets us up a frame to look at the second - Traps is a pretty messed up person, but in a deeply understandable way, and it serves in ways to show that the shit she's going through is not some unique trans girl thing but very much the torment of being a human. Desperate for connection and fucking it up, digging ourselves deeper while convinced it's the right thing to do. Along the way, we see her having various kinds of nasty sex, injecting DIY HRT, taking a bunch of cocaine, a trans guy getting top surgery, and various other fun things that I could never stream on twitch (or you bet I'd be planning a screening right away) - but it's also in many ways incredibly matter of fact about all this shit we get up to in a way that feels incredibly real.

It's a film that benefitted a lot from viewing with a largely transfem audience who would laugh at certain lines in the right spirit - I have no idea how this whole thing would come across if you aren't trans and don't know what 'agp' means (about the person saying it as much as anything) lmao. But if you are, it's like the film I never even knew I needed. It's way too real: from amusing setups like the polycule who has the access to DIY HRT trying to drag you into an argument about Dune before one of them wakes up and has a panic attack or daft conversations about boobs, to the pinpoint depiction of the kinds of neuroses we end up carrying from our shitty tenuous work, and of course the friction and fireworks of trying to care for each other when we're all burned out from carrying our own shit. Weard is fearless, and does seem to rather revel in being transgressive, but this is not edge for edge's sake.

And honestly this is 100% what 'trans film', if we can't help but have such a category, needs to be I think - a story heavily informed by the specific fucked up experiences of being trans but not like, About Being Trans(TM) in the way People's Joker was. Uncompromisingly honest (but with plenty of humour) about how we are, which is to say painfully human, rather than cheerfully painting the sort of freeing subculture we'd like to think we have.

I got to talk to Weard quite a bit on Sunday (ending up in a pub with her and a number of other mostly trans festivalgoers), and it turns out the slightly ludicrous length of the film wasn't even planned, with the original idea to edit it down to something like a standard 90 minutes - but when it became evident after shooting the first forty minutes or so that these long scenes were kind of absolute gold, someone (I forget who now) made the case that they shouldn't be cut down at all and to just go for the full behemoth. And honestly? They were fucking right. This did not feel like a four hour film, somehow. There were definitely other films this festival where my mind wandered and I kind of checked out a bit, but not this one.

As a chaser (ha ha) to that, we had Louise Weard's 'Unsee' segment, screened just once in the hour before the clocks change (which is in a certain sense lost to time, or at least that's the joke of this segment). An elaboration on the experience of presenting the castration scene supercut at the '100 Best Deaths' event, it dives into a reprise of that supercut before increasingly alternating with scenes of a kind of introspective monologue on how people reacted to that event and how far Louise herself started to end up feeling like the butt of the joke (even as random cis women accused her of being transphobic lmao).

As the video progresses it segues into an increasingly ridiculous sequence where two of Weard's friends step in (as substitute Louise Weards) reading out her essay of Lacanian film analysis on castration scenes in movies, while Weard (behind the camera) gives them directions to frame the shot to better show her cis ex's boobs. In between, more castration scenes! So many, most of them unfamiliar to me (funny moment when I finally recognised one and my brain was like hey! that's Sálo! and I found myself turning to face Violet with an excited grin before my brain caught up with that)

Among other things, the narration talks about the whole arc being a transgressive tgirl filmmaker who frequently faced some rather ridiculous accusations of being a transphobe or nazi troll (by TV Glow's Jane Schoenbrun, although it seems they have since made up), all in a time when it seems like a lot of her contemporaries in the transgressive film scene actually do seem to end up going nazi; the trouble of getting pigeonholed as the castration person, and so on - but also kind of playing with like oh, fifteen more castration scenes, that's what you want right? So many swerves, and the supercut was in fact very funny (I wonder if I find it easy to laugh instead of wincing since I actually have been castrated lmao), ending in a scene which is constructed to suggest Louise actually cut her balls off for the bit - though since she showed the prop penis earlier it was pretty clear that she didn't. (Yet..?)

It's a really clever bit and superbly entertaining bit of filmmaking, all told. I'm a full Louise Weard convert at this point, can't wait for castration movie part ii.

This post has gotten pretty long now, so I'll write up Sunday tomorrow. Do go watch Castration Movie tho, it's worth your time.

[moirindeclermont]

Day 30!!! Final day of this BridgertonS3 Polin Kinktober. Prompt is Sex pollen modern AU (but consensual, we like consent here).

Just a reminder, we start on Monday with the first longer fic, spanning six days. All I can tease is that Colin is a Vampire and Pen is... Someone who loves puns, stakes and Vampires as well (well, one vampire). From here until Monday I have plenty of memes to share!! Enjoy this one (and as always, thank you for everything)!

Colin Bridgerton, her long time crush and best friend told her he bought a plant for her new apartment. He was also so kind he helped her settle the plant in her living room. It was a nice plant. He told her it was a caryota mintis* and there are legends around the plant. Allegedly, the pollen in the air can cause a state of lust and lack of inhibitions. He shook the plant, the pollen spreading... She did laugh with him, after all, who believe such a thing as sex pollen can exist?

They were on the sofa, looking at a movie together, when she felt suddenly hot. Scorching hot. Pen looked at Colin, who also seemed in a similar state. She looked at his lips... So inviting and just there, but she stopped. She felt feverish.

"Colin, something is wrong..." She said, and Colin nodded "I feel it too. What's happening?"

She looked around her apartment, until her eyes caught the plant. No, no, no.

"Colin... Maybe the plant." He shook his head. "It can't be."

She didn't care what was the cause, to be honest. She needed to be touched. She felt like she was going to explore of he didn't touch her, "Colin... Please."

He shook his head again. "I can't Pen. Not like this."

She pouted. "Please."

"I waited too long for our first time to be like this, Pen. You must resist."

That pause her for a moment. "What?"

He seemed skittish now, almost embarrassed. "Colin, tell me."

If she had to suffer, at least knowing why would have been nice.

He seemed troubled, but then he started to talk. "Pen, I'm your best friend. But... I want to be more than that. So much more." He was looking at her with such intensity her heart skipped a beat. She got close to him, almost in his space. "Colin, you're my best friend as well. And there is nothing that would make me happier than be more than friends."

His hand was on her cheek and she stopped breathing for a moment.

"Can I kiss you, Pen?" She nodded.

She had waited some years to experience this kiss. She had time to imagine it over and over again. The reality was, quite frankly, so much better. Their passion, so long buried, came alive. She moaned into the kiss, the hot fever coming again but this time she knew it would be satisfied. They kissed and kissed until Colin's knees buckled against the sofa. They separated for a moment, both their eyes barely containing the lust they felt.

Colin took his shirt and pants out, a hard outline already visible, making her gulp. She took out her shirt and skirt, unclasped her bra and looked at him. Colin was looking at her like... A supplicant may have watched Venus. She knew she will never forget that moment. He sat in the sofa, and she went on his lap, grinding her hips to find a bit of relief. They both moaned at the contact, Colin's hands went straight to her breasts, cupping them slowly and pinching her nipples.

"Pen, you're so gorgeous," he said before kissing her again, his mouth then descending on her neck and then further down, taking the hard bud in his mouth. She felt wild. She felt free. Sex was not like this for her. She was just so sure that Colin loved her that she didn't have to hide anything from him. Pen glided her hand through his hair, making him looking at her in awe.

She felt even hotter. And so wet.

"I want you Colin!"

He took her in his arms and in a few steps they were in her bed.

They paused just to remove each other knickers. Pen was already pumping him slowly, licking her lips. "Later, love. I want to come inside you." He said to her, making her shiver.

She laid down on the bed, spreading her legs open for him. "Make me yours."

He touched her inner thighs, but both were too strung out to tease. Colin pushed a finger inside her, then another one when he felt no resistance. "Fück Pen. So wet. For me?" She nodded. "Only for you. Always."

She threw her head back as he started pumping in and out. "Coliiiin. I need you."

Colin kissed her, making her taster herself on his fingers, before aligning himself and push. Full. So full. Pen lifted her legs and put her heels on his lower back, pushing him even deeper.

"We'll have time to make love, Colin. Now, just fùck me."

"Shit," Colin sweared, but starting driving into her with strong and powerful thrusts that made her sigh and moan louder than she ever known.

They both knew it was going to end soon. But they also knew it would be just the first round. They both exploded after some minutes, panting hard in each other mouths as their 0rgasm overcome them.

They laughed. "To think I have to thank a plant for this," he told her, kissing her deeply. It was a long night indeed for both of them when they finally fell asleep in each other arms.

They moved the plant in their bedroom after that day.

*the plant does exist and it is slightly toxic, however it doesn't have those effects.

And if you're still reading, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Can't wait to start sharing new stories with you all 💓

[actiasteeth]

ASKBOX MEME 057 / ARCANE S02E01-03

All prompts taken from season two of Arcane (2024). Adjust as needed.

01. HEAVY IS THE CROWN

“We’re charged with imposing order. And we’ve been asleep at our posts.”

“There will be no more fairytales of peace until we scour our basement of its demons.”

“What is she doing here?”

“If we follow your plan, we risk uniting them against us.”

“So, what is your solution? Chastisement? A firm reprimand?”

“I’m sorry, _____. I’m not comfortable trusting our fates to chance.”

“We have an ethos. Such force must be a final resort.”

“Then it’s settled: two to one.”

“I can make this right.”

“No. No more rogue mission. No more reckless plans.”

“My arrogance led me to take on more than I could handle, and she paid the price.”

“I thought you were on our side.”

“You didn’t think at all.”

“It should be me up there instead of him.”

“It’s all right, I handled it.”

“I won’t let them corrupt your dream.”

“How’d you find me?”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around.”

“I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever.”

“Thought for sure you were gonna get yourself killed.”

“Address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut.”

02. WATCH IT ALL BURN

“Well, it’s all going to shit.”

“Have you had enough?”

“Playing coy doesn’t suit you, love.”

“Us killing each other is playing right into their hands.”

“We don’t hand over our people.”

“Struck a nerve, did I?”

“But I promise: it’s the last offer you’re gonna get.”

“You here to finish me off?”

“Haven’t I done you enough favors?”

“The hell we supposed to do now?”

“You’re— you’re alive.”

“You must be cold.”

“I was supposed to die.”

“We'll make this right. Together.”

“I must say goodbye to this place now. To you.”

“Our paths diverged long ago. It was affection that held us together.”

“I never asked for this.”

“Oh, this is quite troubling.”

“I have seen something of this nature before.”

“I apologize for the intrusion. We were attempting to sneak in.”

“Right through their fingers. You must be part eel.”

“They want you alive.”

“It’s always me. Whether I’m pulling the pin or not, everyone who gets close to me dies.”

“You forget, _____? You already made your last offer.”

“You got that look in your eye again. What are you planning?”

“You need not suffer anymore.”

03. FINALLY GOT THE NAME RIGHT

“Can I get a minute?”

“Your first request for an audience was uninteresting. The second, inappropriate for someone of your station. The third… plain annoying.”

“People have lost their heads for less.”

“I’ve come here to settle a debt.”

“What you’ve stolen is more precious than any gold.”

“I haven’t insulted your intelligence, _____. Do not insult mine.”

“You have no inkling what family is to me.”

“It has to end.”

“Everyone in my life has changed. Promise me you won’t change.”

“You realize how easy it was for me to track you down here?”

“We both know you heard every word.”

“You’re using me to get to her. And then what?”

“Guess there really isn’t a crack in the earth where you won’t find me.”

“I’m done blaming myself for your mistakes.”

“‘Cause no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to die.”

“What have we done?”

“Go on. I’m ready. I’m glad it’s you. Had to be you.”

“I had the shot.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I keep telling myself that you’re different. But you’re not.”

“Wrath must be met with wrath.”

[diasomniaimagines]

Housewardens opinions regarding MC with tattoos

Riddle Rosehearts

His opinion comes down to if the tattoo has a meaning behind it. Even for someone as straight-laced as him, tattoos to commemorate something are beautiful

Does NOT like the idea of tattoos "Just Because"

Has a preference for tattoos with flower imagery

Will not go with you to get a tattoo, and certainly will not get any of his own

Leona Kingscholar

Does not care if there is a deeper meaning

You have a sleeve of a tiger because it looks cool? Fine by him

Enjoys tattoos that display a sense of strength, such as ones with animal imagery

Will go with you to get a tattoo if he does not have anything better to do

He already has a tattoo on his bicep, but is open to getting more eventually

Azul Ashengrotto

Your tattoos do not bother him, and he understands the appeal of ones that are simply aesthetically pleasing

Prefers tattoos that reflect natural imagery

Is a very busy man, but will make time to go with you to your tattoo appointment, if only for the potential to gather information that this poses. Who knows who he might see getting up to something while out and about?

Does not have any tattoos of his own. He says that it is to preserve his public image, but he is actually afraid of the needles. He will never admit this

Kalim Al-Asim

Thinks that tattoos are pretty! He finds them really interesting to look at, and asks a lot of questions

He just wants to make sure that you had your tattoos done in a reputable shop, and is worried that it may have been scary if you went alone

Does not have much of a preference as to what your tattoos look like, but would definitely prefer something with intricate detailing and patterns for himself

His "tattoos" are actually a form of body paint similar to mendhi

Would absolutely go with you to get a tattoo to ensure you are in good hands

May eventually get some of his own, but as of right now is far too indecisive to pick one

Vil Schoenheit

Much like Kalim, is concerned with the shop and artist that provided the tattoo

Does not mind your tattoos, so long as they are not too outlandish

Classic designs appeal most to him

Does prefer tattoos that have a personal meaning to them

Have you seen this man? He's an influencer. His whole career comes down to following and promoting trends. Even if he were to get a tattoo, it would fall out of fashion regardless of the design far too quickly to make that investment. However, he will accompany you, if only to scope out the establishment and ensure that you are cared for properly

Idia Shroud

Thinks that flashy designs are really cool!

Finds your meme tattoo hilarious

Would eventually like to get a tattoo to commemorate a favorite series of his

Has no pain tolerance and will not go through with getting the tattoo

Will not accompany you to the tattoo shop, mostly due to how cramped they are. You can't expect this man to stand around for who knows how long while you get a sick tat done in the presence of strangers.

Malleus Draconia

Is quite fond of the concept of getting a tattoo. It's beautiful for something to mean so much to you that you commemorate it on your own body

Did not consider getting tattoos until he saw yours. Now he wants to get ones that match

Has two favorite archetypes of tattoos: floral and gothic

Will end up with a gargoyle tattoo at some point. He will hide it as long as possible from his retainers, partially for the amusement of it and also partially to avoid them becoming worried

Would follow you anywhere with no questions asked. He will accompany you to get a tattoo at a moment's notice.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

First of all, I just want to say. I called it lol

Finally an sskk face off since the sacrifice. I am going insane. I can’t articulate all my thoughts rn but something about the way Atsushi aimed a kick at Akutagawa that he fully expected the guy to block (because they know each other’s usual fighting styles!!!) only for it to connect and hurt him; Atsushi begging Akutagawa to recognize him because even if he still can’t consciously admit it, Atsushi has become convinced that Akutagawa wouldn’t be attacking him like this if he knew it was him; pleading for him to snap out of it and demanding to know why he saved him aghhhhh I’m going feral we know the reason Atsushi we know whyyyyy

I can’t believe it actually. We are at the point where sskk do not want to genuinely hurt each other. Atsushi attacked only out of self defence and was taken aback by actually breaking his wrist. Akutagawa refused to kill Atsushi in the Fukuchi fight and Atsushi is now convinced he’d stop attacking if he recognized him. Holy shit. Oh my god.

And Sigma badass moment! My boy, he pulled through! Either him or Chuuya had to break the stalemate; hell yeah, validation. Wasn’t there a meme someone made? “Prison arc -> prison arc if Sigma still had a gun”? Well Sigma’s got a gun and things are picking up babyyyy! His retort to Fyodor was quite possibly the funniest thing he could’ve said in response. Just completely shut him down. Using what he’s learned running the empty home Fyodor previously tried to buy his trust with. Beautiful. ADA Sigma real??? (I think the story will have to acknowledge his very public involvement with Taneda’s shooting and the acts of terrorism the Hunting Dogs now know he is responsible for… so I’m not sure how that will go but I’d like to see him end up with the Agency tbh… so long as it makes sense.)

Things I did not expect:

Mysterious note left in Russian??? It could be Mykola I suppose but… why? What happened? If he’s actually in trouble I doubt he’d need help escaping. Is it a trap? But what for? Alternatively… could it be Pushkin? He was in Meursault initially right? We never found out what his connection was. It could be a new Russian author too! Intriguing! There’s also the matter of it being written in Russian in the first place - who is it meant for? Sigma specifically? Or is it meant for someone else who speaks Russian?

Dazai is actually injured! I was certain he had something ready to get out on his own but I like this much better. Tbh I know this sounds bad but I’m actually way more invested now that Dazai has a broken leg and Fyodor was just shot. There’s higher stakes, you know? Damn though. I think Dazai’s injuries are. Worse. He’s being terribly self-sacrificial, and is apparently going to face off against Chuuya next time we see him. I do think now the stakes would be too low if Chuuya was completely free of the brainwashing tbh… I’m hoping for a double “I know you’re in there” fight between skk and sskk. Not that Dazai can do much physically but his strength has always been with words anyways, and I am certain Chuuya’s already fighting back. And I know Atsushi will reach Akutagawa. Manifesting sskk reunion where they challenge Fukuchi again and win this time via the power of unbreakable trust (delusional).

Sigma asks Fyodor “WHAT are you?” Which is interesting, and I’m hoping will acknowledge the way Fyodor doesn’t seem to age… but also intriguing is the “getting closer” part on the side which implies he’s not quite right. I think Fyodor will still turn out to be human tbh (it’d be weird otherwise, thematically), but now I’m starting to lend a little more weight to that theory about a Fyodor double…

Well anyways. This was a lot. I’m going to helplessly whir about it for a bit now.

[chodzacaparodia]

I have more thoughts on bllk and Isagi soo It was cool in the start because Isagi was like one of the worst players and we could see how he evolves and that was interesting and weren't boring hearing his inner monologues I guess? And the others all seemed impressive from his perspective lmao But now he acts like a main boss of something and a prodigy who has lots of skills and actually acts a bit rude towards others? (here comes the personal taste that one can just not like his personality I guess) but he like turned to a prodigy whom he admired and win against in the first half and now those are the ones trying to beat him but Isagi is the main characters so kinda these evolve around him which is unfortunate for the ones who don't like his character Soo I kinda mean that we could try to bring back Isagi not being too good? and now he could actually lose (like he can I guess bc he already win a lot and evolved so it's not like it'd be over just for him to get less op and the others could catch up too, because the power scales and balanced really shifted from him needing to beat someone to others needing to beat him which is quite an interesting development of events and a lot has a more tragic past than him now give them a win pls (this is just some personal thoughts I came up with they might not be full correct so my apologise)

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

I understand your point of view because in many respects I agree. I admit that it was interesting that he started to develop from an average player into one of the best. His internal monologues were also completely different, because not only did he surprise others, but he was also often surprised himself when he noticed complete things and analyzed them.

I like that you wrote that Isagi turned out to be a prodigy. Because that's the truth. He was a prodigy from the beginning, but before Blue Lock he never had the opportunity to discover it. It's not that I don't think he hasn't developed as a result of hard work and training, but his greatest strengths are actually related to his way of thinking and his special ability to analyze, something that not every character is gifted with and is unlikely to practice because it happens rather automatically.

As the story progressed, Isagi actually became overconfident. (Yeah, totally like a main boss!) And that's why he actually started to think that he was better than others (actually I did a meme about it ). And I must admit that it irritates me a bit. Surprisingly, this didn't irritate me with characters like Barou or Rin. Maybe it's because we get to know them as characters who feel better than others. And Isagi went from a guy with low self-esteem to a guy with a bit of a God complex. From extreme to extreme.

And in fact, he behaves rudely towards others. It seems even more visible because he was a really nice guy from the very beginning! But honestly, I think it's not just a matter of him feeling better than others (but I think that's largely the case). Isagi blended in with the Blue Lock's atmosphere. He was constantly exposed to people who treated others in the same way (including Isagi), so I'm not surprised that such behavior influenced him and he adopted it as well.

(And it must be really irritating when someone you don't like makes you grow. Typical bllk experience).

Honestly, I wish he would lose and humble himself a bit. I want absolute destruction. After all, the higher a person rises, the more painful the fall. And logically, sooner or later Isagi has to lose, because you can't always win. However, I'm not sure Isagi can return to that level as before (I'm not talking about the level from the very beginning, because he will never return to this times, but maybe more to the level from the 3rd or even 2nd selection). He's gone too far with all this. After his defeat, he would definitely go through a worse time, but would he actually become more humble? Would he have completely despaired of his abilities? Would he feel inferior to someone else? It's possible, but I think it's more likely that it will be just an episode rather than a longer streak of self-doubt. This will be seen from the outside more as "His rival was better" than "Isagi wasn't good enough".

But deep down, I really want the character I like more than Isagi to win. I admit that I often let my thoughts go in the direction of "this character has a traumatic past, he deserves to win as compensation". But in my head there is always the thought that Blue Lock was a manga unlike any other from the very beginning. Such issues really don't matter there. On the field, no one cares about the characters' traumatic pasts. All that matters is being the best and striving for a goal without any scruples or moral compass. And as interesting as it was (I would REALLY like to see it), even though the other characters theoretically deserved their victory more. A character doesn't have to have a tragic backstory (like Isagi) to win. They just has to be the best.

(I'm sorry if this wasn't the answer you were expecting! I didn't know how to respond to this and I thought for a long time, but in the end I let the discussion carry me away and referred to some of your thoughts and added my own, not necessarily related to your statement. I really don't know what and why I wrote all this 🙈).

[ctimenefic]

So @strawberry-daiquiris wrote an incredible F1 Traitors AU (seriously, go read it) and was kind enough to let me paddle around in the Galex end of the pool.

Many thanks to @latecomersprivilege, for whom this is a belated birthday gift, an almost on time Valentine's gift, and ultimately not what she asked for but what she's getting!

It’s a month since the last episode aired and George hasn’t messaged him.

Oh, he’s in the group chat - he’s the admin of the group chat. He’s posting memes, even the ones about himself, nearly every day. Asking very sincerely after people’s partners, their kids. Adding little crying laughing emojis to almost all the jokes. (Almost all - never Alex’s. Not even once. Which. Come on. Checo’s not even that funny.)

So. Yeah, it’d been bad, at the end, at their last round table together, George damp eyed and smiling through it and Alex nearly fumbling his own defence trying to tell him one more time “it’s just a game”.

But. Like. Not so bad as to cancel out everything else. Or at least, Alex had thought so. Hoped so.

It’s been a month.

Hey just wondering if we shd have a coffee or smthg? Clear the air?

Sure. When?

Nxt wk? Peckham?

(George told him all about his little flat in Dulwich, how he properly loved all the twee village-y shit like the wooden sign-posts and bougie cafes, in their murmured conversations in the hotel corridors, heads ducked together and voices low. Alex had taken the piss, but so softly he’d barely recognised his own cadence. That- that had been the first clue, before he’d started noticing how George’s adams apple bobbed when he got loud.

But Dulwich is packed to the brim with Traitors fans, has to be, all middle class mums and families that gather round the telly of an evening to actually spend time together. They’d be spotted in seconds. So Peckham feels safer, crowded and anonymous and too fucking cool to pay attention if Alex has to get on his knees and beg George to- to-)

The cafe’s still a bit posh, which means it’s basically deserted. George is wearing the kind of T-shirt that only fits that well because it’s expensive.

He’s ordered tea already, and Alex wants to remind him to drink up, like he did at breakfast every morning, because George would always get too into their conversation to finish before it got cold. He’d slug it back anyway, wincing, and Alex would pretend to ignore the line of his throat.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win,” George blurts. “I know I- I didn’t help, I know, but after, I did want it to be you. You’d worked so hard.”

Alex stares at him. “I never thought I would. Maybe near the end, a bit, but. Well. I got lucky.”

George pulls a face. “Come on, you were brilliant at it. So convincing. I really thought I’d find out you were, like, an actor or something.”

George smiles at that, small and tight. “Oh, yeah, the office have been so weird about it. Saying they didn't watch, and then making jokes that prove they did. I've stopped paying attention to it.”

Alex tries to laugh, like it’s a joke. Like he hadn’t talked George’s ear off about the practice. How he’d use the money, if they won - as Faithful - to get back to his veterinary degree, properly qualify. “Nah, still at my old place. They’ve, uh, let me take the backroom stuff for a bit, while it dies down.”

Alex nods. Pretends George has got better at lying. “Hope they're not being nasty.”

“Oh, not too bad.” The ‘too’ makes Alex want to snarl, set his teeth in someone's neck. Bastards. And George's blasé tone runs a little thin as he goes on. “Might quit, actually, try the influencer thing for a bit. It's basically the same as sales, just, you know. Different product.”

“You'd be good at that,” Alex tries. “Influential. I'd be, uh, influenced.” In the time it takes George to blink three times, Alex experiences all nine levels of hell and a few more added just for him.

I'd be influenced. Christ.

“How are you doing with that, sponsorships and stuff?” George asks and Alex shrugs. He’s got his fans, the ones who think he was robbed, rather than bottled it. His Insta’s big, now, not millions but, like, decent. Marketable. Problem is, he isn’t.

“Turns out, being known as a really good liar doesn’t get loads of hashtag spon ops,” he says, trying to keep it light. Like money hadn’t been the whole point. George’s face falls, the first unrehearsed expression Alex has seen all morning.

“Oh crikey, I’m sorry, I didn’t- cause it’s been alright, and I was a traitor too, at the end so-”

“Yeah, but I forced you into it, didn’t I? I’m the bad guy.” There’s a decent TikTok edit of him to that Billie Eilish song, all his smiles and laughs and fond looks, set to the beat of sociopathy. It’s very slick; turned his stomach on the second watch. “Plus, you know, you look like that, which probably helps.”

He knows it’s been more than alright for George. He hasn’t liked any of his Instagram posts, too… proud? ashamed? But he’s seen them all, including the Stories, so George must know he’s been there. Or maybe he doesn’t, maybe there’s hundreds of people, and they’re not mutuals, he remembers abruptly. George didn’t follow him back.

He flips his phone in his hands, once, twice; worries at the crack in the screen down by the bottom right corner, just enough to feel the scrape against the pad of his thumb.

George notices, of course. Those big blue eyes, all the better for spotting clues. Terrible at knowing what they meant. “Do you wanna take a picture for insta then? Show people it’s all water under the bridge?”

“Uh, not really? I mean…” it doesn’t feel under the bridge, or air cleared. Alex still feels like he’s choking on it.

That small wrinkle he used to make fun of appears between George’s brows. “Wasn’t that the point of this?”

“Jesus, no, I’m not-” Alex feels sick, properly sick, hot chocolate coming back on him for a second. “I wanted to be friends - I want to be friends. Again.”

“Again,” George repeats, after a beat.

Alex swallows. Presses the tip of his tongue against the edge of his front teeth, where they turn sharp enough to cut, like a bit of pain now will soothe the sucking void where his stomach used to be. “Right, no, of course. Forget it, look, I'll get these and-”

George catches his wrist before he can make a break for it. His thumb lands in the soft spot between the tendons, where Alex’s pulse beats - ha - traitorously fast.

“Wait. You haven't told me how your mum is. And your sisters. And Luca, obviously, and the cats.”

“The cats?”

“Yeah, obviously. Can't go before I hear about the cats, ‘Lex. All of them. So you should probably, um, sit back down.”

So he does.

[melancholic-fig]

An interesting thing about this person of interest (because he has not been proven guilty people) is that people call him alt-right. Or right-winger. And I think they lack context on why he seems like that and I can give it because fuck it. Everyone already said that he did more for the Left than a million online pundits, but as far as I’ve looked there were 0 arguments on why are his politics so muddled.

So, buckle in! I’m starting with facts:

Male spaces are full of right-wing propaganda. Basically boiling 24/7. Computer science, stoicism, self-help, gym advice and generally liking women with big jugs, all these spaces basically require you to prove you’re “one of them” to be accepted in. These things used to include talking about women in an objectifying manner, liking beer and not being gay. Now they include a bunch of AI-based algorithms that will recommend you 1000+ hours of anti-woke and transphobic content. And all your peers are watching it. I’m pretty sure if we found his phone, or just bought a new one, opened Youtube or TikTok and just wrote his details on the profile, his 4th or fifth video would be a dude “cringe reacting to sjw’s”. If you click that, the next video will be “why women destroy societies”.

Now I’ll speculate:

Looking into his found reddit and his goodreads, he shows no sign of leaving the “centrist” political space aka he didn’t read anything on political theory (unless you include 1984 and Lorax in that). He’s not reading Evola or Steiner. There’s no info on the “globalists” which shows he never went down the rabbit hole. But yeah, our guy seems to have listened to Jordan Peterson and Tucker Carlson. Which means he most probably borrowed the symbols and surface level ideas of alt-right but not the thing behind the euphemisms (he probably has made “degenerate” jokes but doesn’t know what that means). He probably uses the “okay” sign or Pepe memes but he most probably knows but is profoundly uninterested in Kekistan.

The Alt-right is organized and smart. And it uses these “normies” (not anymore man) to covet their ass. They make sure to become popular with IT guys and nerds and introduce them to memes that are secretly dogwhistles specifically so those not on the know use them too. And usually know someone is recruitment material when their higher level machine touches you (you start believing the globalists are sending immigrants). As far as I’m aware, and considering the gigantic backlog of information we collected on this guy, he’s never been material for further recruitment. Either he was too well-educated to believe some ideas or too successful with girls and queers to be isolated into the manosphere.

So opinion:

Okay, so why do I think it’s bad to call him “right-winger” then? Didn’t he retweet Peter Thiel? Hated the “woke mob” in the other tweet?

Yes he did! He also tweeted some leftist takes and liked some pro-violence stuff. He also likes the Unabomber. I’m sure if you had him talk for 3h with a tankie he’d come out as a Lenin fanboy. And after his chronic disability took away his previous life and identity, which we can actually notice from the increase in activity and the posts, chances are he’s been listening to whoever was available from behind the screen. The guy seems impressionable, which is quite normal for his age bracket. So, to what extend are his ideas his, should we care for it?

I say this as a leftist, the vast majority of people will probably never identify as leftists even if they actually strongly believe in leftist ideology. Even if their lives are so obviously fucked up by capitalism. Why? Leftism is cold and rational, and this unfortunately shows to others quite unlikeable truths. To he a leftist you have to join a group that will forever be in disagreement with you. To accept that you will never read enough theory. That the life you want and the life you have are disjointed by corporations and you cannot take down anything by yourself. And everyone you talk to about these ideas thinks you’re crazy and you want to starve people like communist Romania.

Right wing ideas are short, quippy and emotional, usually the emotion being hate, superiority or disgust. But they get positive feedback because people get a dopamine boost when they share emotions, even if the emotions are quite shameful but covered in the thinnest layer of social acceptability. All the phobias hidden under “freedom of speech” are used by people who never met the minority group they disdain - to share with others that they “think alike”. There is little depth, the suffering of minorities is used as a replacement for “don’t you hate mondays too mate”. This is only true because right wing media spent a fortune blaming the ills of capitalism on minority groups. So, it got very popular with the least politically educated people because it helps them show to the world they are 1 part of the majority group and 2 feel the same alienation.

So, assume our boy here Luigi has a leftist thought (dammit, healthcare CEOs are parasites). He tweets it, he gets some angry responses and needs to battle his phone for 2h. Then our boy has a right-wing idea (damn the freedom of speech is taken omggg). He tweets it, he gets angry responses from people he was actively taught to ignore and a lot of praise from other bros that “agree” for the reasons I explained above. So, whatever Luigi thinks and what he posts are two very different beasts and one was shaped by an internet landscape that wants him to the right. The other is accused of shooting the Healthcare CEO.

My point is, we will never know how he actually thought in his day to day life and in what point. But his internet history is not him showing a true self underneath, his internet persona is the result of his gender, age, occupation and status - which have shaped him to *present* a certain way, but not necessarily to *be* . Beyond his alleged manifesto, we cannot argue what he really thinks or has meant by one thing or another, and searching for it is useless. His tweet choice was probably as well-thought as his expensive backpack and his adidas, aka whatever he grabbed when hanging around.

[thisismyname43]

So I'm currently working on an SMG34 story. This book follows SMG3 seeking help from SMG4 because of a little...mishap... leading to new feelings being found and experiences being made 💜💙

What you're going to see is a section of that! So if you find it interesting, look at my profile and you'll find it there! (Or you can alternatively scroll till the end, your choice!)

***

It seemed as though it was a regular Tuesday morning. The sun was shining out in the Internet Graveyard, and all of the dead memes were enjoying the warmth and glow of the sun. There always seemed to be a cheery atmosphere in the air, it had been this way ever since a certain someone was sent to the Internet Graveyard, and had become a legend there. Forever changing the lives of all the dead memes.

But, this individual had not yet awoken, and hadn't realized the changes made to him as a result. Despite seeming like a regular day, life always seems to throw a bunch of surprises your way. This brings us to a man called SMG3 who unknowingly, was about to have arguably one of the strangest days of his life.

From inside of a nearby Starbucks, the sun was beaming through the windows, making the room have a bright yellow tint. Thus causing the aforementioned man to awaken.

SMG3 opens his eyes to find himself in his room.

Looking at the clock on his bed stand, he decided to focus his eyes and check the time. Upon realizing that he had slept in late, he sat up from the bed and took in his surroundings. As he blinked the sleepiness from his eyes, reality seemed to settle in.

'Great', SMG3 sarcastically thought.

Another day of having his daily routine ruined by some stupid idiots who somehow find a way to always wreak havoc on anything and anyone. It was basically his life now. At least once a week he would be dragged into some new shenanigans made by Mario or just any member on the SMG4 crew. He had always thought that they were annoying and wanted to stay as far away from them as possible but it seems as though faith was always against him. Every time he thought he was done with those idiots they would always find a way to come find him again.

It had gotten to the point where SMG3 had even gotten used to often hanging around SMG4 and his crew. He still thought they were pretty obnoxious at times but he knew that he was already getting used to them and even having fun with them at times. Not that he was the nicest to them or anything, they still needed to be put in their place after all. But even if he didn't want to admit it, he knows that deep down he appreciates their company. Ever since he got sent to the internet graveyard, he hadn't really had the best social life. Sure he was a celebrity with the dead memes but he couldn't help feeling quite lonely at times. Yes he cares for them but its not as though the dead memes that reside in the Internet Graveyard are the best conversationalists.

So, he decided that every once in a while he would even try to hang out a bit with the SMG4 crew. They had mostly gotten over what he did in the past and had all gotten along better than expected. Despite their past, the times that SMG3 had enjoyed their company had gotten more frequent. And that is a secret that he would take to his grave.

After finishing his internal monologue. (Being a villain for so long will do that to you). He started walking towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, and to get ready for the rest of the day.

'Hmm, I wonder what I should do today. I could visit the castle again but do I really want to deal with everyone's stupidity?', SMG3 thought.

As he walked towards the bathroom he realized that he felt uncomfortable sensations throughout his body, as if something was there that wasnt supposed to be. It felt strange to say the least but he had just woken up and was still feeling pretty drowsy. So he dismissed it as morning sickness or something. Besides, he could check it out once he made it to the bathroom.

He opened his bathroom door and grabbed his toothbrush. Once he had put a generous amount of toothpaste on it he lifted it up to his mouth. SMG3 started brushing his teeth and once he was finished, had looked up into the bathroom mirror. But once he made eye contact with his reflection, he felt utter shock coursing through his body.

SMG3 had screamed so loud that Eggdog had woken up from his slumber and came inside the bathroom, making sure that SMG3 was alright.

Clearly though, he wasn't alright. Especially when he had WAY longer hair than usual and VERY feminine qualities that he didnt remember previously possessing.

He still couldn't believe his eyes. As he looks at himself, mouth agape, he takes in his features.

As previously stated, his hair had grown longer. It reached all the way down to his mid back and was way thicker and shinier than yesterday. His hips were accentuated and he had slimmer shoulders and legs. His eyelashes, along with his hair, had also grown longer and were framing bigger and rounder eyes.

"WHA- WHY DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL?!", SMG3 screamed.

***

Cliffhanger!

Here's the story if you're interested on finding out what happens next:

See you guys on the other side!