#not quite Mississippi but boy is it bad!

[ponydanza-in-a-canza]

Blue state Republicans would get devoured in red states

[j0kers-light]

imagine j with a southern bunny! i'm from mississippi and i don't think i sound super southern but i must be because most people down here think i have thick accent 🤣 i think j would either love or hate a southern accent 😂

Hey hi my sweet anon!! 🖤✨

This is the part where I repp the south! TN & GA! LET'S GO SOUTHERN GIRLS!!! 😤

I'm constantly concealing my southern accent at work and I hardly recognize I have one until a friend from the west coast calls me out on it. Y'all just don't know.. I be sounding a hot mess so don't feel discouraged anon! This is for all my southern girls! Yee to the flipping haw.

I think its only fair to separate the two scenarios of him loving or hating your accent. I hope you enjoy love! 🖤✨

Poor Joker. Oftentimes, he doesn't understand what you're saying and finds himself staring at you perplexed.

You would think thick accents wouldn't be an issue for him (after dealing with his crazy ex girlfriend...) but he asks you to repeat yourself multiple times a day much to your annoyance.

Don't get him wrong! He adores his Bunny!!! He just can't quite understand how you shorten some words and exaggerate others. (Ring any bells Joker? 🙄)

Perhaps that's why he hates it so much because its so similar to his own unique speech pattern. He denies that it’s the same.

And don't get him started with how slow you speak as if you have all the time in the world.

Joker is used to the fast jargon of Gotham City (our modern day NY) so he expects quick conversations or at least ones that he can fully comprehend. He feels like he loses IQ points hearing you talk.

Whenever you say things like "over yonder" or "whatchamacallit" he rolls his eyes and demands you speak plainly or not at all. "I am Joker. Quit calling my kettle black and gone get."

What does it even mean?! You and your southern sayings are driving him insane(r)!

He thought you were faking the whole accent thing until you went to visit family and he tagged along.

You have been speaking plainly to Joker because your relatives are practically speaking a different language compared to you.

He wants to turn himself in at Arkham if he has to listen to this southern drawl any longer. It is grating his nerves.

It gets worse the longer you stay home. You forgo all proper grammar and anything goes.

Joker can't stand how you sound so proper while simultaneously butchering the English language. He is happy to drop off his Bunny and get out of dodge.

Although he does miss you after a few days and calls you up asking what your plans are for the day and... well.

"I'm fixin' to go round yonder with Boost n' em then we finna cut up until Ma calls for us or till them Katydids start singin. Just a whole bunch a nuthing. You?"

Where does he begin to translate? His head hurts just thinking about trying. "Nothing Bunny. Just forget it."

He instead came up to the house (wearing his face mask of course) to see you. Your parents swarm him wanting to meet the man who stole their baby's heart although it was obvious they don’t approve of J.

Joker didn't mind his manners and his disgust for your inherited accent was visible the entire time.

You smiled and acted as the neutral party between the opposing sides until the sun started to set and Joker decided to leave.

You and your Mom stood on the veranda, watching Joker drive off. Mom waited until he was out of earshot to give her two cents. "Baby, that boy's cornbread ain't done in the middle, ain't it?"

You spat out your sweet tea. WAS IT THAT OBVIOUS?!

Now! Let's discuss Joker loving your southern accent!

From the moment he heard that alluring southern twang spill from your lips, he’s down bad.

You're every bit the iconic southern belle found in movies. Flirtatious by default and ever the tease, you are perfection to him; like a breath of fresh air.

Joker practically drools knowing that's how you were raised yet you keep that side of yourself a secret in order to blend in up north.

He rarely hears your accent because you go above and beyond to sound like citizens of Gotham City.

Your southern twang only slips through the cracks when you're angry, emotional, stressed, etc.

Joker tries his best to bring it out of you because he’s a shameless simp. Your voice is just too hypnotizing to hide!

Your accent kinda reminds him of his own speech pattern with how you pronounce certain vowels or syllables and speak slowly in order for the audience to appreciate every word or double meanings.

It’s an artform that he admires greatly and he loves when you read to him at night.

Or when he comes home all banged up and he catches your feminine gasp. Your “bless your heart baby! C’mere, I’ll fix ya up.” makes him feel so much better. 😍

Yet there are times in which you catch him by surprise with your flourish of words.

It was his idea to take his Bunny out hiking in the outskirts of Gotham. You grew up in the country and at times, the big city felt stifling.

Joker thought some nature would be good for your mood. He didn’t foresee becoming lost.

When he passed the same grove of flowers for the third time, you groaned in frustration. “Just admit it, J! We’re turned every which way but loose!”

He froze hearing your southern accent make a rare cameo. The power you had over him…

He was happy to hear it, but now was not the time to be smiling. “Uh come again Bunny?”

You stomped in your hiking boots and furiously began fanning yourself. ”There you stand in high cotton, and I’m over here sweatin’ like a sinner in church!”

Joker was so confused, yet completely in awe.

Each wild saying has his grin spreading wider and wider and you knew he didn’t hear a word you said; merely just the sound of them.

“J….” You warning him as he slowly advanced forward.

“Keep talking Sugar. You sound soooooo sweet.”

You rolled your eyes as Joker backed you into a tree and took hold of your hips.

“You hard a hearing is you?” You sigh with each distracting kiss Joker left on your neck, “J.. stop. I smell rain coming. We need to head on back.”

“You can… smell rain?” He asked.

“You can’t?”

[daddyhausen]

Can I request #30 off the NSFW prompt list with Jungle Boy?

• touch starved — jungle boy •

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ masterlists } | { aew masterlists } | { jungle boy masterlist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ summary } — it’s your first night back after a serious injury, jack being completely unaware of your return and quite frankly, sex deprived, begs you to touch him

{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact }, switch!reader, handjobs, public sex, switch x switch dynamic, teasing, cumshots, edging, multiple orgasms, begging, male + female orgasm, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, squirting, internal cumshots, vaginal creampie

{ word count } — 610

{ pairing } — fem!reader x jungle boy

{ genre } — smut

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @boutmachines @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @baysexuality @legit9thlunaticwarrior @slut4kennyomega @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @baybay-boom @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980

{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ 30 } — i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me right now

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

it had been months since he saw you last

months since he last felt your warmth, kissed you, tasted you

he’s craving your touch

even more so now the both you were currently at work

still so close but far enough to miss each other

jack found himself in the secluded hallways of the area

you locked with his lips

hands so needy, but not allowed to do more than fumble with zippers and ties

“i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me right now” he whimpered, feeling more touch starved than usual when you were not around

“anything?” you pulled away from his lips momentarily

“yes…anything, sweetheart”

his breathing was frantic

his cock strained in his ring gear

the poor boy looks like he hadn’t gotten off in days

“just relax for me”

jack let out a small sigh of relief as you pried his cock from his trunks

slowly beginning to jerk him off

“feel better?”

“y-yes…” he whined through gritted teeth, sweat starting to gather at his hairline making the luscious curls stick to his skin

his back arched again the cold brick wall

adoring the way your hand worked around his shaft

your eyes never breaking their gaze from his

“fuck…i’ve missed you so much…”

jack spoke through a particularly loud groan

one of which you silenced with a harsh kiss to his lips

pulling away breathlessly

“i know…me too, baby”

“god…need to fuck you so bad”

the pleasure made tears well in his eyes, hips bucking upward to meet the movement of your hands

“cum for me first, okay?”

he gave a small nod

the muscles in his abdomen tightening with release

his cum warm against your skin

coating your knuckles white

he gave a breathless moan, his cock twitching against his stomach as you released him from your grasp

“sit down” you words were soft in his ear, bringing up your hand to lick his cum from your knuckles

“what if someone sees us?” he questioned yet still complied

lowering himself back against the wall

“guess they’ll just have to watch then” you remarked, lowering yourself down onto his cock

oh god how you missed the feeling

his cock spreading your folds so deliciously

stretching you out until your cunt was gripping his size

“oh s-shit-“ he gasped, stuttering over his words as you began to bounce on his cock

“oh my god, sweetheart” he panted, tongue jutting out to wet his lips as you leaned in for another heated kiss

“you feel so good…”

“you do too…” you muttered against his lips trying to keep yourselves quiet

“you make me feel so full, jack…i love it so much”

“me too, baby…now be a good girl and keep quiet for me okay?”

you nodded, burying your head into his shoulder

jack held you tight against his chest, thrusting up into you with light strokes

“you gonna cum?” you questioned, words muttered into his skin

feeling his cock throb deep within your warmth

he gave a simple nod, an arm wrapping around your waist while the other smoothed stray strands of hair from your face

your lips remained close to his, swallowing each others breaths and moans

spilling over around his cock while he pressed short, sweet kisses to your jawline and chin

he followed suit, filling you up as he intended,

his warmth seeping from your sweet folds as he pulled out

admiring the sight of you i top of him for a moment

“you better fix yourself up…” you mentioned, still starting to catch your breath as you placed a gentle kiss to his lips

“don’t you have a match next?”

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

[richincolor]

New Releases - Week of Oct. 9, 2023

We have history, fantasy, a contemporary rom-com, a memoir, and a retelling this week. It's quite a range in just four books. Does anything catch your eye?

Brooms by Jasmine Walls Levine Querido

It’s 1930s Mississippi. Magic is permitted only in certain circumstances, and by certain people. Unsanctioned broom racing is banned. But for those who need the money, or the thrills…it’s there to be found.

Meet Billie Mae, captain of the Night Storms racing team, and Loretta, her best friend and second-in-command. They’re determined to make enough money to move out west to a state that allows Black folks to legally use magic and take part in national races.

Cheng-Kwan – doing her best to handle the delicate and dangerous double act of being the perfect “son” to her parents, and being true to herself while racing.

Mattie and Emma — Choctaw and Black — the youngest of the group and trying to dodge government officials who want to send them and their newly-surfaced powers away to boarding school.

And Luella, in love with Billie Mae. Her powers were sealed away years ago after she fought back against the government. She’ll do anything to prevent the same fate for her cousins.

Brooms is a queer, witchy Fast and the Furious that shines light on history not often told – it’s everything you’d ever want to read in a graphic novel.

The Fall of Whit Rivera by Crystal Maldonado Holiday House

Frenemies Whit and Zay have been at odds for years (ever since he broke up with her in, like, the most embarrassing way imaginable), so when they’re forced to organize the fall formal together, it’s a literal disaster. Sparks fly as Whitney—type-A, passionate, a perfectionist, and a certified sweater-weather fanatic—butts heads with Zay, a dry, relaxed skater boy who takes everything in stride. But not all of those sparks are bad. . . .

Has their feud been a big misunderstanding all along?

Blisteringly funny and profoundly well-observed, The Fall of Whit Rivera is a snug and cozy autumn romcom that also tackles weightier topics like PCOS, chronic illness, sexuality, fatphobia, Latine identity, and class. Funny, honest, insightful, romantic, and poignant, it is classic Crystal Maldonado—and it will have her legion of fans absolutely swooning.

Huda F Cares by Huda Fahmy Dial Books

Huda and her sisters can’t believe it when her parents announce that they’re actually taking a vacation this summer . . . to DISNEY WORLD! But it’s not quite as perfect as it seems. First Huda has to survive a 24-hour road trip from Michigan to Florida, with her sisters annoying her all the way. And then she can’t help but notice the people staring at her and her family when they pray in public. Back home in Dearborn she and her family blend right in because there are so many other Muslim families, but not so much in Florida and along the way.

It’s a vacation of forced (but unexpectly successful?) sisterly bonding, a complicated new friendship, a bit more independence, and some mixed feelings about her family’s public prayers. Huda is proud of her religion and who she is, but she still sure wishes she didn’t care so much what other people thought.

Realm of Wonders (The Queen’s Council #3) by Alexandra Monir Disney Hyperion 

Jasmine thought that she had earned her happily ever after when she and Aladdin defeated Jafar. Then her beloved father dies and, overnight, all her plans for the future change. Instead of her wedding, she’s now planning a funeral and a coronation—her coronation, to become the first woman to rule Agrabah. Jasmine has always been headstrong, but for the first time in her life, she finds herself faltering.

Then from beyond the grave, her father seems to pass along a message: Someone is coming. She must find the book. Before Jasmine can figure out what that means, her claim to the throne is called into question.

Her father’s old counsellors decree that the best way to determine the true ruler is a tournament; a series of tests, each one increasing in difficulty—and danger. Now, with help from the mystical Queen’s Council, Jasmine must assemble her own team of advisers, win the tournament, and uncover the mystery of her father’s last message, so she can prove to her people—and herself—that she deserves to rule Agrabah.

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Black Velvet - (John Winchester)

Warning: Mention of sexual activity

Summary: Story inspired by the song - Black Velvet by Alannah Myles. Years after he had up and left you, you run into your old flame, John Winchester.

A/N: Y/N - your name

Dividers created by @firefly-graphics​  

John and the boys had just successfully taken care of a demon that preyed only on women; ones that enjoyed partying a bit too much and dressed extremely provocatively.

Luckily for the town's woman folk, they managed to track its vessel down before he claimed another victim. So, here they were grabbing a few drinks at the local bar in celebration of a successful hunt.

"That was one tough son of a bitch..." Dean remarks throwing himself down into the chair with a heavy grunt.

"Look who's talking..." Sam grumbles.

"You weren't the one used us bait."

"You got the whole long hair thing going on, makes ya look more like a girl from behind" Dean points out with a wave of his hand.

"That with the girl clothes made ya really convincing from a distance."

"I still can't believe you made me wear girl clothes" Sam scowls at him.

"Be glad you wore jeans instead of a skirt..." Dean flashes him a grin.

"You'd have had to shave ya legs then."

Sam doesn't respond to his remark; choosing to grumble into the glass while taking a sip of his drink instead.

"Dean, stop teasing your brother..." John reprimands him.

"Sorry, Sir" Dean responds straightening up in his seat as Sam triumphally smirks.

Scanning the room, Dean sips at his drink, silently cringing at the terrible singing of some drunk up on the stage.

"Why did we decide to go to a bar that has very bad karaoke night?"

"It's the only bar in town..." Sam shrugs in response.

"At least he's almost finished with the song."

"Thank goodness..." Dean groans out in relief.

A few minutes after the drunk leaves the stage, a very attractive looking woman takes the stage then; dressed in a black mini skirt, paired with a corset styled top, and black leather jacket.

"Why, hello there..." Dean utters out in interest.

"She's out of your league dude..." Sam remarks.

"Whaddya mean?" Dean frowns at him, pulling at the open flaps of his jacket.

"I'm an extremely attractive guy, the ladies love me."

"Keep telling yourself that and it might just come true" Sam chuckles.

"Let's hope she can sing though."

"Yeah, that would be really embarrassing" Dean nods in agreement.

"A woman so fine looking, and she ends up making a fool of herself in public would be tragic."

As the boys continued on with their little discussion neither of them had yet to notice how quiet their father had become as he stared narrow eyed at the stage as the topic of their interest begins to sing.

*

Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell

Jimmie Rogers on the Victrola up high

Mama's dancin' with a baby on her shoulder

The sun is settin' like molasses in the sky

The boy could sing, knew how to move, everything

Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for

Black velvet and that little boy's smile

Black velvet with that slow southern style

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees

Black velvet if you please...

"Looks like hottie can really sing and dance quite well..." Dean groans out in comment as she swings her hips to the music.

*

Up in Memphis, the music's like a heatwave

White lighting, bound to drive you wild

Mama's baby 's in the heart of every schoolgirl

"Love Me Tender" leaves them 'em cryin' in the aisle

They way he moves, it was a sin, so sweet and true

Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for

Black velvet and that little boy's smile

Black velvet with that slow southern style

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees

Black velvet if you please...

"Bro, I think she's looking at me..." Dean excitedly slaps Sam against the arm when the woman seductively smiles in their direction.

"I highly doubt that..." Sam drawls out in response.

*

Every word of every song that he sang was for you

In a flash, he was gone, it happened so soon

What could you do?

Black velvet and that little boy's smile

Black velvet with that slow southern style

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees

Black velvet if you please...

With furrowed brows, Sam studies the woman for a bit; noticing something a bit strange, he turns to look at his father.

John sat dead silent; eyes narrowed as he gazed back at the woman.

"I think she's looking at Dad, not you..." Sam remarks a bit confused at the interaction between the two.

"No, she's not..." Dean scoffs.

"She's clearly checking me out."

*

Black velvet and that little boy's smile

Black velvet with that slow southern style

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees

Black velvet if you please

If you please

If you please

If you please...

The song ends and the woman steps off the stage.

"No, she's definitely looking at Dad..." Sam shakes his head.

"Dad, you know her?"

John doesn't respond to his question, getting up from his seat instead.

"I'm gonna get some fresh air."

"Wondered if you were going to follow me out or not" you remark with a smirk at seeing John walking toward you.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" John rasps out, his gaze dark as he stared down at you.

"Ten years..." you rasp out in response.

"What you doing here?" John asks as the two of you step further into the dark alley alongside the bar.

"Came to do a job, but you guys beat me to it."

"Alone?" John frowns in displeasure.

"I'm a very capable woman and hunter" you arch a brow in rebuttal.

"You should know that from the days we used to hunt together."

"From what I remember; I was always saving your butt" John comments, stepping closer to you.

"Then we both remember things way differently..." you drawl out, slowly backing away from him; gaze never wavering as he slowly stalked you.

"That so...?" John responds, lips slightly twitching in amusement.

"You were always jumping in front of me during an attack" you nod frowning.

"Even though I never needed your help."

Flashing a dimpled smirk, John reaches up to cup your cheek.

"You needed my help for other things though, didn't you?"

"John..." you softly whimpered, eyes fluttering close when your back came up against the alley wall.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" John slurs, pushing himself flushed up against you.

"Need my help again...?"

The inner turmoil inside you finally snaps as you gave in to your desires, lifting a leg to wrap around his waist.

If there was one thing you could never resist; it was the sexual charm of John Winchester.

"Morning..." a voice raspily slurs against your neck, as strong arms pull you closer.

"Morning..." you groan out, smiling as you turn to face John in the bed.

"Who woulda thought we'd run into each other again after all this time...?" John stares down at you longingly, brushing your hair out of your face.

"Yeah, who woulda..." you wrinkle your nose at him in response as he tips down to kiss you.

"I missed you..."

"I definitely know something missed me, yeah..." you joke when feeling his morning erection poking at your stomach.

"Oh, he missed you a lot..." John grunts, thrusting himself against you.

"Maybe you should show me, how much he missed me..." you whisper, softly nipping at his neck.

"With pleasure..." John growls out, rolling over on top of you as you giggled in response.

"Stop sulking" Sam scolds Dean as they sat in the diner, eating breakfast.

"Just don't understand where she ran off to..." Dean whines in disappointment.

"She just up and disappeared out of nowhere."

"It's for the best" Sam smugly remarks.

"She was way out of your league anyway."

"Whatever, man" Dean scowls.

"You hear anything from Dad?"

"Just the text he sent last night; that he would meet us here this morning" Sam shrugs in reply.

"Where you think he ran off to?"

"Maybe he went off with your dream woman..." Sam teasingly smirks.

"Dad's so not her type!" Dean scoffs in protest.

"You sure? Cause, it seemed to me as if they knew each other."

The two of them continued on bantering for a few minutes, until a car pulled up in the driveway of the diner.

"What the...?" Dean remarks, seeing John get out from behind the wheel of the strange car.

Mere seconds later, the woman from the night before gets out of the passenger side.

"Told you..." Sam smirks.

John and you entered into the diner, heading directly to the booth that had two men seated in it.

"Boys, this is Y/N" John introduces you to them.

"Y/N, these are my boys; Sam and Dean."

"Please to meet you" you smile at them in greeting.

The one named; Sam politely smiles at you, while Dean stares opened mouthed.

Dean snaps out of his stupider then.

"You two know each other? How?"

"We're old friends" you reply with a chuckle.

"Your dad and I were hunting partners for a bit about ten years ago."

"So, you two...?" Dean stares shocked while waving a finger between John and you.

"That's none of your business, boy" John grunts out frowning.

"Relax, Big fella..." you chuckle, slapping a palm against John's chest.

After the awkward introduction, John, the boys, and you sat chatting while having breakfast. It was an enjoyable time as you guys exchanged stories of hunts, and how grumpy John would get at times.

But it wasn't long thereafter, when breakfast ended, and it was time to part ways.

"Come with us..." John suggests as you stood alongside your car.

"I can't" you whisper out softly.

"Why not?" John frowns at your reply.

"I'm retired, John... the hunter's life is no longer for me. I only took this one as a favour to an old friend."

"Retired?" John arches a brow.

"For ten years now" you nod.

"This job is too much of a risk for me to be taking now."

"If you're worried about the risk of being on the road 24/7, you don't have to" John remarks.

"We have a safe place, a bunker... it's isolated, and safe from any and all elements. You were always the better researcher between the two of us, you could stay there to help with that."

"It's not just me... I'm not alone."

"What you mean, you're not alone?" John frowns at your remark.

Realizing you had no other option but to tell John the truth, you exhale heavily in defeat.

"I have a ten-year-old daughter...at least she will be in a few months."

"Daughter...?" John stares at you open mouth.

"Ten years old?"

You silently nod, taking a picture of her out and handing it to John.

"Her name's; Lily..."

"She's...?" John murmurs out, staring at the picture of the little girl.

"She has your eyes and dimples..." you nod feeling a bit emotional, then suddenly chuckle out.

"Also has that same grumpy scowl as you."

"Why didn't you let me know?" John stares at you accusingly.

You scoff at his remark with a frown.

"You're the one that up and disappeared one day" you reminded him.

"The minute I told you, that I loved you; you ran."

John's head drops in shame at your words then.

"I was scared..." he utters out in admittance.

"Scared...?" you frown in confusion.

"Scared..." John nods, looking up into your eyes then.

"Scared of loving someone, and possibly losing them again."

You take a step closer to him, reaching up to cup his cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I thought it was for the best if I kept it to myself, that it would keep you safe then."

You couldn't help the chuckle that slipped your lips then.

"I was a hunter before we met, my life would continue to be in danger, even if we weren't together."

"I know now it was a dumb idea..." John sighs out.

"Quite dumb..." you nod chuckling.

John flashes a dimpled smirk at your remark, clearing his throat then.

"Where is she now?"

"Lily?" you reply, and John nods.

"She's at my sister's. Like I said, I'm retired, I stopped hunting because of her. This was just a favour, so I asked my sister to watch her for me."

"I'd like to meet her..." John requests quite eagerly.

"Does she even know about me?"

"I've told her about you, yes. She knows who her daddy is. Likes to look at that picture of you and I that we took back then."

"She does?" John cringes at the thought of what his daughter must think of him.

"Has she asked where I am?"

You exhale heavily then at the memories of those conversations.

"Almost every day... especially, why you never come to see her."

"What did you tell her?" John's voice comes out brokenly.

"That her daddy is extremely busy chasing bad guys, so she and everyone else could remain safe."

Tears threatening to escape from his eyes, John presses his forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry... I never should have left."

"It's ok..." you murmur as tears began to burn your own eyes.

"You'll come with us?" John stares pleadingly at you.

"Both of you?"

Biting into your lower lip, you silently nod in agreement.

John smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"I love you..."

You couldn't suppress the whimper that slipped your lips then.

"I love you too..."

With a dimpled smirk, John grabs hold of your car keys.

"C'mon, let's go pick up our little girl, and then head on home..."

Crossing your arms over your chest, you eye him closely.

"You sure, you ain't gonna run out on us again?"

John chuckles, pulling you back into his arms.

"I promise, Sweetheart..." he presses a kiss into your hair.

"You better..." you warn him, causing him to chuckle louder.

"Get in the car..." he swats your bottom as you head for the passenger door, and you shoot him a glare over your shoulder.

"Let's go get our girl..." John smirks at you, starting up the car.

"Let's go get our girl..." you smirk in agreement.

*

Black velvet and that little boy's smile

Black velvet with slow southern style

A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees

Black velvet if you please

If you please

If you please

If you please...

[sp1derw3bz]

Ranking US states based on how appropriate they would be as girl names

1. Georgia (already is one)

2. Montana (already is one)

3. Indiana (already is one)

4. Virginia (already is one)

5. Alaska (popularised by a fictional character)

6. Arizona (popularised by a fictional character)

7. Louisiana (sounds like a girls name)

8. Nevada (sounds like a girls name)

9. Iowa (sort of sounds like a girls name)

10. California (could work as a quirky name/celebrity baby name territory)

11. Florida (could work as a quirky name/celebrity baby name territory)

12. Alabama (could work as a quirky name/celebrity baby name territory)

13. Hawaii (could work as a quirky name/celebrity baby name territory)

14. Nebraska (ends in ‘A’ at least)

15. Utah (ends in ‘A’ at least)

16. Minnesota (ends in ‘A’ at least)

17. Oklahoma (ends in ‘A’ at least)

18. Colorado (vowel ending)

19. Idaho (vowel ending)

20. Ohio (vowel ending but the state has negative connotations)

21. Tennessee (vowel ending but hard to spell)

22. Missouri (vowel ending but sounds like ‘misery)

23. North Carolina (would be a girls name if not for the first word)

24. South Carolina (would be a girls name if not for the first word)

25. North Dakota (would be a girls name if not for the first word)

26. South Dakota (would be a girls name if not for the first word)

27. West Virginia (would be a girls name if not for the first word)

28. Maryland (would be a girls name if not for the last 4 letters)

29. Maine (could be pronounced ‘Mainie’)

30. Pennsylvania (could be shortened to ‘Penny’)

31. Delaware (could be shortened to ‘Dela’)

32. Texas (would work as a celebrity baby name but for boys)

33. Washington (more of a surname, quite masculine)

34. Oregon (more of surname, quite masculine)

35. Vermont (sounds like the name of your posh great uncle)

36. Mississippi (vowel ending but famously difficult to spell)

37. Kansas (possibly a forgettable enough state to be perceived as a name in context)

38. Arkansas (like Kansas but with two extra letters)

39. Kentucky (‘y’ ending is good, but this is more of a quirky boys name, too much KFC association)

40. Michigan (ugly word, but starts the same as ‘Michelle’)

41. Illinois (strange word but not necessary an ugly word)

42. Wyoming (‘Wyo’ is okay but ‘Wyoming’ is bad)

43. Wisconsin (ugly word)

44. New Mexico (two words / couldn’t be perceived as anything other than a state)

45. New Hampshire (two words / couldn’t be perceived as anything other than a state)

46. New Jersey (clearly a state)

47. New York (clearly a state)

48. Rhode Island (clearly a state)

49. Massachusetts (hard to pronounce, not delightful to the ear, clearly a state)

50. Connecticut (incredibly masculine word, not phonetically spelt, the word couldn’t be perceived as anything other than a state)

[stranded-labyrinth]

I just thought of a time travel au/kidfic (this evolved a lot as I was typing it out)! Hannibal works out time travel and goes back to save Mischa but his method is unstable. He first turns up in Mississippi and meets a young Will (quite young but older than Mischa was maybe 7 or 8?). When Hannibal finally jumps back far enough to find Mischa, Will comes with him (by accident or not 👀). Will helps Hannibal rescue Mischa in a way that keeps the timeline intact. They return to Hannibal's present day... Hannibal then also meets a Will who is an adult but adult Will won't tell Hannibal anything about his past (so child and adult Will are in the same timeline and meet even). Anyway..... Thoughts?

FINALLY an opportunity to ramble about an idea i've had

so this, except Hannibal screws it up so bad that both he and Will get launched into the past. something something Hannibal's goal being based on helping someone he truly loved, which thrusts him into Will's path, but also thrusts Will into his.

Hannibal sees a little boy in the road crying so hard it looks like he might throw up, curled up beside some roadkill and in agony because the poor creature didn't deserve to get killed and it didn't understand and it wasn't its fault and and and and- suddenly there's a man there, someone for the boy to sob to about the animal, and someone who is listening intently, trying to reassure him without treating his pain as trivial.

and then there's Will.

Will is near a very old fashioned building, in a wide yard that stretches out a long way and even has a river running through it. there are kids everywhere, varying in ages and in health. he's looking around, and he sees so, so much pain. so much loss. it's overwhelming, taking in all the different emotions of people too young to conceal them, and then-

a small tug on his jacket and he turns around, startled, and is met by a 13-year-old blond boy with eyes that are piercing through his very soul, as if seeing what had been going through his head. the boy is dead silent, staring at Will like he's just seen the face of God, and hands him a flower he'd picked before approaching.

a comment gets passed from one of the other kids. Will is still reeling from everything and can't even process what's going on, much less what was said because it was a version of French that he's never heard spoken.

the boy that so kindly handed him a flower snaps.

so now, while Hannibal is off in the past consoling a young Will who's mourning a raccoon that didn't know any better, Will is flung into the past and having to try to stop a young Hannibal from beating and drowning some teenager for saying something nasty about Will.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

I did a silly angst snapped Texas’s spine like a glowstick <3

For those that can’t read it on Wattpad:

————————

    Texas thought to himself as he sat under a tall apple tree in the moonlight. He thought about the whole civil war that they were all fighting in. He thought about the reasons behind it. He thought about one of the things that contributed to the reasonings for this damned war. Slavery. The word had tasted bad on his tongue for so long. The Lone Star State knew that it was wrong, he had no slaves himself, but the fact that he sat by and watched a bunch of innocent people be put to work like animals makes him want to put his gun to use. On himself.

    the CSA didn't really treat them well either, though he mainly targeted the people of color. Such as Texas and Louisiana and occasionally Mississippi. Texas knows that the only reason that Confederate hasn't killed them yet is because he needs their fighting skills and resources. But that doesn't justify the unfair treatment. They would always be put on the front lines in battle in Confederate's hope that they might die, they were always put somewhat separate from the other states (though the three had formed a sort of bond), and Texas and Louisiana were the usual main targets for getting yelled at if anything went wrong. Even if it wasn't their fault. So yeah- it wasn't really too fair on their part.

    Texas sighs as he stands up and walks over to his horse, Bucky. He gently pets the horse on the snout and gives him an apple from the tree, whispering a small "Good Boy" as he gently combed through Bucky's mane. He checked his saddlebags to make sure he had enough food and water for the next two or three days as he traveled to D.C.. He had just about enough for a day and half, but that was fine. He was experienced with the outdoors and knew how to hunt very well. He set his gun in his lap, and hung his bag of handmade tools around his neck (he had a handmade stone axe and dagger, as well as flint and steel and a few spear heads that could be used for either throwing or being attached to a stick then thrown.).

Texas gently tapped Bucky's side with the heel of his boot. "Come on boy..... to D.C."

————————

(Nearly three days later...)

    Texas rode near silently through the streets of Washington D.C., hoping that he would wake nobody up and alert them of his presence. That would not end well.... He had to somehow SILENTLY go through the entire city to get to D.C's house in the outskirts. He sighs as he taps Bucky's side with his boot. As he traveled, the Lone Star State felt that one weird feeling that one feels sometimes. The one weird feeling that feels as though you're being watched. But he shrugged it off. Quite the stupid mistake later, but for now, he was just focused on getting to D.C.'s house. Soon enough, he reached his destination. Texas tied Bucky to a tree and quickly but quietly approached the house.

    He looked in the window to see if D.C. was awake, and to his relief, he was. To his most definite relief (yeah mhm definitely) though, Pennsylvania was in there too. And based on the flask in his hand, probably tipsy as well. Which meant quicker to anger. Texas had never really hated PA, but he was sure as hell always maybe a little scared of him? Which- would sound stupid if Pennsylvania wasn't well....Pennsylvania! To his actual relief though, New York was also there, whom he had never had any problems with. New York was a somewhat chill person, or at least a lot tamer than PA. Sure, okay, he always looked pissed off about something, but he was actually a pretty sweet guy to be around. Kinda.

    'Ah sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t-' was the only thing going through the Lone Star's mind right now. Did he just make eye contact with Pennsylvania? Yes. Yes he did. Was he now regretting every life decision that led him to this very moment? Yes. Yes he was. Texas got up quickly and tried to run, only to have a rough hand grab the back of his shirt and throw him on the ground. He felt himself get tackled and tried his best to block any punches. Through his arms, he could see PA's angry crazed expression. Terrifying. Texas then felt the smaller state's weight get yanked off of him with some struggle. He opened his eyes and saw New York holding PA back and D.C. standing there with his arms crossed.

    Texas noticed how much the three of them changed. New York's hair had grown long enough that it's kept in a small bun, he looked WAY more tired than usual, and his oh so beautiful bluish green eyes no longer held the spark of happiness that the other's had tried to bring back. He also wore a mask, that covered his mouth and nose. Pennsylvania didn't look all too different, except he looked angrier than he had before the war, and his hair was a little bit longer and messier. D.C. looked oh so very tired..... his hair was still somewhat neat though, but he seemed to walk with a bit of a limp.

    The Lone Star State tried to hold back a horrified gasp when New York pulled the mask down to speak clearer. He appeared to have a large stitched up gash that started at the corner of his mouth... damn. "Jesus f*ckin' Christ Penn can ya like- not choose violence whenever ya see fit??? The dumbass ain't even armed!" New York scolded, making PA roll his eyes and shrug the younger off of him.

"Y-Yeah what he sai-""Shut the f*ck up before I come over there and kill ya myself." New York interrupted, glaring at Texas.

"Y'know, Texas, if that was supposed to be an assassination attempt, then I honestly feel bad. Cause' that was absolute sh*t."

    "I-It wasn't an assassination attempt I swear!!" Texas shouted putting his hands up to block himself, in the same fashion that he did when he was Mexico's territory. 'Trust me, if it was, the three of you would be dead by now...' he thought to himself.

"What the hell are you doing here then?"

"I-I came to m-make a proposal...? A-about something regarding the war..?" Texas answered, his voice shaking a bit.

    D.C. gave him a look of mild judgement and questioning and was silent for at least two minutes. "Very well. Get your ass inside and you better give me a good reason to not send you back. Dead."

    Texas nodded and hesitantly stood up, doing his best to make himself look smaller despite being 6'5. He followed the other three states into the house, occasionally making eye contact with New York, and he noticed a not only tired look in his eyes, but also......fear???? Weird... He took a seat in one of the chairs that were in front of D.C.'s desk, sitting in the middle seat whilst Pennsylvania and New York took the seats next to him.

"Alright then. What are you here to talk about? Make it quick. We don't have all night." Said the government.

    Texas gulped a little bit. Has D.C. always been this scary?? "W-well i uhhh-" he paused trying to find his words. He felt a gentle hand be placed on his knee to tame his fidgeting. He knew by the amount of rings and scars that it was New York's hand. Why was he being nice to him...?

"Well?"

    "L-look- this might sound stupid but um...... can I uhh... can I fight for the Union?" Texas asked. D.C. gave him the look that meant continue, and so he did. He told them his thoughts about how stupid it was that he let Confederate take control of him like that. He told them about how wrong he thought it was to treat people like servants just because of their different skin color, and he even told them a bit about the mistreatment to himself and a few others. When he finished, he looked up at D.C. with a slightly pleading look.

D.C. seems to be thinking for a few seconds before speaking "Pennsylvania come with me."

"Who do you think you are-" "Did I f*cking stutter?" PA just rolled his eyes and followed his pseudo-son into another room, leaving New York to watch Texas.

The two states sat in silence for a while before Texas spoke up: "Can I ask what happened?"

"What?"

"W-well I guess knowin' what happened up ere' in the Union would be fine- but I was mainly talkin' bout what happened to your mouth?"

New York's beautiful bluish green eyes widened a bit. "Oh- uhh- this..?" he lowered his mask so that Texas could see the gash and stitches.

"Yeah..? What happened...? If ya don't mind me askin' o'course..." Texas answered rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I don't mind..." New York replied. He was silent for about a minute before speaking again: "I got into a fight. With Confederate. It was pretty nasty. I lost sadly."

    "Well yeah I would imagine ya lost- n-not that there's anythin' wrong with that! Confederate's a b-big g-gay-i mean guy!" Texas said, cursing himself for stuttering. To that, New York laughed a little. Texas could feel his face heat up a bit at the sound and sight. New York laughing??? Genuinely??? And SMILING??? The Lone Star State felt as though he had just seen God himself.

Just then, D.C. and Pennsylvania walked into the room. Texas sat up straight and New York pulled his mask back up.

    "Very well, Texas. You may fight for the Union. You may act as a spy for us. Keep an eye on Confederate, and if you need me, I'm giving you the ability to use the teleportation and mental connections with the Union back. Don't make me regret this, for I will show no hesitation in ending your life." Said the government.

"Thank you sir, you won't regret this, I promise." Texas said, bowing his head a bit in gratitude.

"I better not. New York? May you please escort Texas out of the city?" New York nodded in response, grabbing his rifle.

————————

    As the two walked through the streets of Washington D.C., Texas admired New York from where he sat on Bucky. He admired New York's oh so very beautiful eyes that shined their truest colors in the moon light, their colors reminded Texas of the Atlantic Ocean. He admired New York's long messy brown hair, including the natural white/bright blonde streaks from his poliosis. He admired the way he could see New York's sharp canine teeth whenever he spoke, and they reminded him of a cat's. Texas admired New York's freckles that were dotted all over his face neck and shoulders. To him, New York was perfect.

!BANG!

    A loud gunshot pierced the air, startling the three of them. Bucky kicked his forelegs up, throwing Texas off and running away. As Texas was recovering, he heard a sharp cry from behind him and turned to see Confederate holding NY's unconscious body in his arms. He quickly stood up, but he didn't have enough time to pull out a weapon before Confederate dropped New York and tackled Texas to the ground.

"YOU F*CKIN' TRAITOR!!" Confederate shouted, kicking Texas in the gut.

    Texas yelped and coughed up some blood. "I-I DUNNO WHAT YER TALKIN' ABOUT!!" He felt himself get yanked up by his collar. See, Texas was tall, but Confederate was even taller. And bigger too. Plus Texas was weakened due to sleep deprivation and lack of actual nutrition.

"Ya know what we do to traitors like you?~" Confederate snarled with a dangerous look in his eyes that sent shivers down Texas's spine.

    Okay. Now would be a good time to call for help. 'D.C.!! Penn!! Anyone???? Help!!' Texas mentally called out, using the mental communication thing the states had.

"We KILL them!!~" said Confederate with a snarl.

!SLAM!CRACK!

Texas cried out as he felt pain blossom in his back, chest and head. Confederate had slammed Texas as hard as he could into a nearby oak tree.

!SLAM!CRACK!

Texas felt as though everything he felt happened in slow motion. He could feel his spine and head crack, he felt all of the wind be knocked out of his lungs, he felt himself cough and he could feel blood trickle out of his ears, nose, and mouth. Before he went fully unconscious, he felt himself be dropped to the ground and he heard a loud gunshot and running footsteps. Then, everything went black......

————————

Uhhhh- dw Texas was fine (BRO HIS SPINE AND HEAD CRACKED 😭). Mhm. Definitely. Um-

[southerndaughterofeos]

Intro post!

Hiii! I'm Aurelia, daughter of Eos. Me and some other demigods + an automaton friend go on @willows-pjo-ocs together, but I saw my girlfriend make her own blog, so I decided to follow in her footsteps!

Here's some basic information about me:

Age: 15

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: lesbian

Godly parent: Eos

Powers: photokinesis, limited hydrokinesis (morning dew only), and I'm a bit stronger at dawn.

Status: Happily taken by @kiaradaughterofselene

@pink-koi-lovejoy is a good friend of mine!

I like to think I'm pretty nice, so just be kind, and we're good!

Ooc under the cut

Hello! I decided to try and make separate blogs for my ocs since I have way too many for one blog

I'm also the mod of @willows-pjo-ocs and my main account is @gaygirldoodles

I also run

@kiaradaughterofselene

@glykera

@overlyprotectiveheadcounselor

@amaiahunterofartemis

@melissathetherapist

@selene-goddess-of-the-moon

#willow speaks ◇ is for when the mod is talking or just anything ooc

#willows pjo ocs ♡ and #southern daughter of dawn are both for in character stuff!

Her backstory is going to be mostly, if not completely, copy pasted from the group intro post on @willows-pjo-ocs

anyways backstory stuff

Aurelia is a 15 year old demigod daughter of Eos. She is from small town Mississippi and she came to camp closer to when she was 14, so pretty recently. She is currently dating Kiara Belvedere, as said above. She arrived at camp after an emposai attacked her. (Probably a satyr who brought her, but idk.)

She arrived at camp post the events of the Heroes of Olympus books and thus didn't fight in those same battles that Kiara did. (Once again, if there was one in toa I didn't read it yet.)

She dealt with/deals with a lot of internalized homophobia and stuff like that since she grew up in small town Mississippi.

But she never really extended it towards others. It always confused her why people would be upset about who someone loves or what their gender identity was or anything like that

But as soon as it was her who happened to be a kiss-girl (im so sorry i cannot take myself seriously), she hated herself for it. It was fine when anyone else was like that, but not her.

She ends up being able to accept herself more slowly after she and Kiara don't start dating quite yet, but are kinda talking? Do you call it that if you've been best friends for a while and already acting pretty gay around her? Idk. Seriously, Marilene (head counselor for the Selene cabin) was waiting for the longest time for them to just kiss.

They do end up dating dw

This really reminds me of Once More to See You by Mitski because Kiara really just wanted to tell everyone and everything about how much she loved Aurelia, but Aurelia was still closeted at this point. (Sorry if im making it sound like it was a bad thing that she was closeted. it's not and, good on her for taking her time and doing it when she was comfortable)

Face claim:

Tag list:

@unhinged-waterlilly @mache-of-greece @the-gods-abandoned-us @arisdaughter @kaiaalwayswins @yourlocalfallenstar @son-of-the-moonlight @luci-likes-dinoss @elixs-mythology-corner @bast-the-best26 @emdabitchass @if-chaos-was-a-boy @luck-is-crucial @love-lightning-forethought @the-prince-telemachus @pink-koi-lovejoy @fire-boy-official

[the-firebird69]

Coming down to two rivers are a whole bunch of ships and it's 9:00 a.m. and we know where the big ships are they should be at the mouth of the rivers and probably 20 minutes not the gates at the river mouth and he says it's early and it is and it's because of the quakes and they all left and they didn't take as much stuff as we thought and it's superstition but that's why they did it and a lot of the ships are gone from up there they're trying to get people to come back they're going down the river in anything and it's ugly because the river is not a nice place as creatures in it fish and eel that are very big 20 30 ft long and they kill lots of people it's a very gross scene. They're about 20 people it got on a 50 ft boat armed to the teeth and said we'll just shoot the fish and they're trying to shoot the fish and the fish wouldn't have it the shot at one fish and it flipped the boat over right away and they said that doesn't work so I tried tying boats together and the fish would jump into the boat to try and eat people and it works better so there's a bunch of boats coming down there tied together and the shooting at fish and we don't need those damn fish but I don't need the people more. What about 9:00 a.m. or 10 past really the big shifts are going to clear the mouth of the Missouri and the Mississippi Rivers into the valve and push the mark out and there's three of them in each River and they're four miles and it's going to push out probably down to almost 5 ft left that's a ton of skeletons come out right now there's a proof of skeletons 300 miles wide and 100 miles deep and spread to the sides quick kind of float over that's a huge pool and it should attract crabs and it has there's a family of crabs waiting this gigantic. And they're going to plow it out and more shortly there keep in touch with it

Thor Freya

What a day so far it's much better and other households are getting cleared and we're checking out where and who this one that I know of and that is the actress who played Barbie she might not recover from injuries sustained in combat. She is in a bad way and isolated from her units and one of ammo shortly and she's yelled at a few times and it's important to have an ammo out there deserve bugs sending off at 3 ft long and it looks like she might be next in other words she's almost gone and the whole household. She's in the house that's three streets from my husband and has assailed him several times and she thinks she looks good now if she knows she's heinous and she didn't twice recently once at Walmart and once it's a laundromat and she was expelled and it's not gaga. Right now the bugs are carrying her away and good riddance went a b**** the number is now 38 households

Hera

Thank you

Zues

Good for you you got rid of an idiot but seriously what a pain in his side and she was this asinine b**** otherwise falling around saying stupid s*** to him this is why don't you f*** off one day to her since around she says it's my job and said you're fired is it loud too and she doesn't get it and he didn't do it the job or anything but boy did she get fired and his bugs are eating her she's struggling and about his kill her. Gross. Now she has stuff to say and somebody might have recorded it but that would be the enemy and she is a PGA was actually

Hera

We're going to write this down these people suck and I know that 38 houses though that's pretty bad and there's a bunch of people who want out of this and it's terrific it just sit there and threatened to try and get out of it but yes 10 more are out there already and the number here is going down already quite rapidly they are leaving several more households are pretty much all done and you kind of help them along.

-three of them are in our son's neighborhood yeah that's what we're talking about that's three more additional and they are white folks yes but they're Max and their Max special true. And their houses that are adjacent to him kind of usually they're far away but they're getting in there and additionally to the actual chomo house which which was surprised to a lot of people it does mean that the clan which was below them their kids are going extinct and we'll be out completely hey you see some remnants of them in the movie Stargate and you see some of them in mad Max. But most of them are going to be gone shortly. And this household is different it's not them it's another bja household and it is three streets over towards the ocean and it's somewhere in the middle and they were people from westborough and lived up on the hill and yeah they were stands and some of them were yelling at them but he was doing the burnout and we didn't need them around just assholes and things that he could treat him badly for real they got up and out this morning and went out to the battlefield so they call it and they organized a bunch of people and to recanoiter, and they could find nothing so they're going in closer to the edge of the county probably a mile out room saw a tank and reported it then two more than three more and thanks range is about 5 MI and that's with rocket assists and everything they can use so maybe like 7 miles from here is there a lot of range but they're well worth in range of most of Port Charlotte and a good part of punta Gorda and it's pretty much almost to the 41 it's very close it's about a mile away I don't want them that close and if they aim upwards we warn them but they are close and so they found something important out but they were hit after they sent the message wouldn't start moving and then fired again and hit him. There are two households and when it's gone and the other is on the run they have APB on them and they wouldn't have done it no they do it to anyone recanoutering in any capacity.

We're going to publish now and it happened right now it's the 37 houses we think 36 but will be back in a moment

Thor Freya

[mishafletcher]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping. 

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but— 

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something. 

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers. 

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too. 

[carousel-of-souls]

Metropolis Atlanta Backstory: Jon + Martha Kent

Titling this Metropolis even though it takes place in Smallville which in this AU is in Mississippi, tagging things is hard.

Warnings: Child Abuse, referenced racism and bullying, ableism, mental health issues, systemic injustice, PTSD, mouth injury, sexual harassment, referenced homophobia and antisemitism

Jon’s father was in the military and definitely brought it home with him. When Jon got in trouble he was made to walk laps around the yard in the cold without getting dinner or do push ups or plow the field and tend to the animals all by himself. He generally got punished with exercise or manual labour, a lot of the time losing dinner “privileges” as well.

The house was constantly tense because Jon’s father’s anger was an unstoppable force and Jon’s will was an immovable object. Jon’s mother was quiet and never stepped in because she felt, or rather was taught to feel, that it wasn’t her place.

Jon started getting into trouble on purpose, getting arrested in public because everyone knew who his father was and it mad his father livid to be embarrassed like that, everyone knowing that he couldn’t control his son, everyone knowing he was unable to break a child.

Martha’s family was split up by social services when she was four. She had an older brother and a younger sister who she was never able to track down again. They were taken away because their mom’s job didn’t pay enough and she couldn’t feed them properly, she wasn’t abusive at all, she was just poor. Being in the foster care system and enduring the trauma of being separated in the first place caused Martha to develop a lot of “behavioural problems” which were really PTSD and anxiety.

Jon and Martha ended up at the same military school when they were 13 and 12. It was a few months before they even met. Jon during this time was occasionally flirting around with two other boys in his dorms. He’s under the impression that every man has at least a little attraction to other men and neither Clark or Martha has corrected him on this. Jon not being quite straight definitely made things easier when Clark came out.

Jon was prone to getting into fights and he got into one over Martha. Being a dark skinned Black girl made bullying bad enough but she also has vitiligo in her hands which earned some addition teasing. Jon was taking on a guy that pulled on Martha’s hair a lot, they weren’t particularly close then but he had a habit of finding excuses to punch someone, Jon won but he got one of his molars knocked out in the process. Jon gave it to Martha and she thought it was gross so she snuck it into his room, he thought that was rude so he snuck it back into her pocket and they kept sneaking it to eachother until they graduated.

Jon wrapped the old tooth in wire and made a ring out of it, he didn’t expect Martha to actually wear it, it was more about the thought. He proposed when they were 19 and 18. They eloped and moved to Jackson Mississippi for a while, which is only a few hours from Smallville but in comparison it felt like another world. Jon meant to get a real ring eventually but nothing would ever be as special as that tooth so he never got around to it and Martha doesn’t mind.

Martha is a very talented singer, especially at yodeling. She was pursuing a country music career for a while. She did make a record with about a dozen copies that are still on people’s shelves or now around thrift shops in Smallville, and of course Clark has one.

Jon was still getting in a lot of fights around this time, being bruised and tasting blood was just familiar at this point, almost comforting. He’d adopted an attitude that you had to hit others before they hit you, that was the only way he knew how to solve problems with anyone who wasn’t Martha. He didn’t want children for that reason because he didn’t want that anger around a kid. His parents died around this time and he inherited the house but he didn’t go back to Smallville.

Martha had nightmares about having kids and them being taken away, those stopped after Jon got a vasectomy. Martha was going to get her tubes tied but Jon insisted that she was busy with her singing and he had more time to recover from surgery than she did, though he worked a factory job at this time and definitely did not have more free time than Martha. Both of them liked kids and did in a way want them. During the “traditional” time where couples have children they both felt they were not mentally in a place where they could give a child what they needed so they made peace with it and moved on.

Martha was meeting with the representative of a record label and he got handsy with her. She decided she didn’t want to pursue music anymore in that moment. After she told Jon about it he went to the guy’s house and beat him into a coma that lasted for a few days. Martha told him, though she appreciated how he always wanted to defend her, she couldn’t stay around if he kept going like he was because he was either going to end up dead or in jail for killing someone else. They moved back to Smallville after that and Jon started thinking about his feelings instead of hitting things about them.

Jon mostly made money selling stuff he grew on the farm, or animals/animal products like milk and wool, or stuff he made since he’s good at woodworking. Martha still sings at county fairs and such, she sews Halloween costumes for a lot of the neighbourhood kids. Despite not having a child enrolled for many years she did a lot of costuming for the school plays. They were happier than either of them expected to be, especially since they got a lot of flack when they were young about not having kids, they didn’t regret their choices despite people’s warnings.

Around their 50s they found Clark and things got happier but complicated. Martha’s nightmares about having a child ripped away from her started again. Especially when Clark’s powers started manifesting. She was afraid the state would use the difficulties it caused at school as a way to take him from her.

When Clark went off to be Superman Martha lost days of sleep as now the nightmares weren’t just about him getting taken away but being killed. She obviously couldn’t tell everything but she started going to therapy about the intense anxiety she had and that helped a bit. She never told Clark how much him leaving affected her.

Jon had never been able to look up to or even get along with anyone that was stronger than him until Clark. He found it very ironic having to tell his son he couldn’t fight back when he got hit at school. There were quite a few days where Clark would come home dirty and with his clothes ripped but of course not a bruise on him. He got taken out for ice cream a lot and got extra presents at special occasions during these years to at least try and make up for it.

There was a rough patch in Clark’s relationship with Jon and Martha after he was told where he came from. He was very secretive when weird things started happening to him because Martha and Jon always talked about how good he was so he felt like he shouldn’t have any problems, especially problems like seeing people’s insides and hearing conversations from down the street.

If it was any other people they probably wouldn’t have held together but things settled eventually.

Both Jon and Martha believe there’s some kind of god but they don’t really follow any specific Christianity, especially after finding Clark and their understanding of the universe being flipped upside down. They went to church sometimes, more when Clark was younger, mostly because there’s people there they’ve known for years and years. They went less and less when some of the people there were passive aggressive about Clark dating Bruce. They stopped going completely after Martha shared she was learning how to make kosher meals for when Bruce visited and got some looks that made her feel she didn’t want to be around those people anymore.

They’re in their 70s now and still happy but definitely feel a lot of worry for Clark and Bruce and Lois. Martha calls Lois pretty often cause she knows Lois will tell on Clark if he isn’t taking care of himself.

Though Jon can come off stoic and antisocial, those close to him know he’s very much a “class clown” and he can be quite funny.

[aerinmelina]

Ok, are my friend and I the only ones who didn’t like “The Batman”?

I took my friend to see it back in March. It was her bday celebration, and we’re both Batman fans, so I thought it would be a fun evening out. We looked forward to it for quite a while, eventually made it to the theater, sat down in our seats and cozied up to see how it would go…

And within the first 5 mins, I couldn’t hold back the rolling of my eyes as I realized just how melodramatic this was going to be.

Rain pours from the sky. Everything is dark and dirty. A solitary man is out walking around while a mob of angry young men stare him down. They decide to strike. The innocent man tries to run while he’s being mugged, and then there comes a sound from the nearby stairwell.

Thump. *one Mississippi* Thump. *two Mississippi* Thump. *three Mississippi* Thump.

When I say I was dying 5 mins in, I mean that my eyes were trying to look at the back of my skull as I realized this was not going to be the fresh take on Batman that I had hoped for.

20-30 mins in, Bruce pulled the whole “You���re not my father” thing on Alfred. And immediately I thought of Potter Puppet Pals when Harry is banging his head against a wall and saying ‘angst, angst, angst’ over and over again. Bruce failed to prove himself as anything but an angst-ridden teenaged boy as the movie progressed, so the Potter Puppet Pals reference kept flooding into my brain at all sorts of moments, but this was the first. Also, Alfred is the best and I’m so tired of the way Bruce/Batman treats him in recent movies!!!!

After 45 mins, the plot still hadn’t grabbed me.

After 60 mins, still uninterested in the plot and unable to stop myself from letting sarcastic comments slip out of the corner of my mouth which made my friend laugh, she asked me if we could leave because she was bored.

So we left. And got Thai food. And vented about the movie for most of dinner.

I’ll give the movie another shot when I’m at home with some girlfriends and we’ve got some wine on us or something. I do love Batman. I just.

I grew up with 90s cartoon Batman, and I want to see him on screen at some point. All of the recent Batman movies have been nothing but dark and gritty and Bruce lives perpetually in the grimdark realm of “it’s not acceptable for me to be happy. I just beat up bad guys and everyone fears me and I’m miserable but am not gonna ever acknowledge it, which makes me toxic to the people who do bother to care about me.” And I see where that appeals to some people, but it’s just. So unhealthy and Bruce Wayne/Batman is a good man who wants to improve the lives of the people of Gotham City and prevent other kids from being orphaned in the future, and he deserves love and family and friends. In the DCU it feels like Batman has been pigeonholed into the role of “the one everyone fears” which yeah is part of Batman’s thing for sure, but like. He’s a whole person, too.

Maybe the movie got better after we walked out - which is why I’ll give it another shot from the comfortability of my own couch, with friends and a little alcohol around - but for a 3-hour movie to take more than 1 hour to grab me is just more than my ADHD can handle.

I’ll just stick to my Wayne Family Adventures webtoon and 90s Batman and Justice League cartoons until then. A place where Batman has hope and family and love as his primary motivator, instead of loss and darkness and anger and depression.

Batman is still badass when he has family and friends in his life. DC has so much potential with this amazing vigilante hero, yet they keep stomping all over him. Dudes. Again. Batman is still badass when he has family and friends in his life. One of the best traits of his is that he is deeply compassionate. Can we see that side of him? Please?

[n0wornever]

Light On  - Julie x Fem!Ghost

Combining two requests here: 

Okay so can I have a Julie x reader where reader comes to hang at Julie's place (either as a date or just a hangout bc feelings haven't been confessed) and the boys just constantly tease julie but it's just hella fluff?

Hi! First off,love your writing Can you do a julie x fem ghost reader? Just let's say one night Julie has a bunch to study and is up all night,and reader cant fall asleep for some reason and goes to check on Julie to see her not sleeping.So reader decides to help julie study and julie feels bad but reader is just like "its fine,I couldn't sleep anyway.....”

First off, @twist3dtinkerbell​, thank you bby. Also, I had so much fun writing this, thank you both for requesting!

Julie dropped her pencil on her notebook, rubbing her throbbing eyes. She had been studying history for the past two hours, and had three more ahead of her. She sighed, falling back into her chair for a moment and closing her eyes. 

Y/N sighed, leaning back in her chair. Being a ghost was extremely convenient, except for the fact that she rarely slept. She never realized how many hours there were in the day until she had to be awake during all of them. She quickly jumped up from her seat and moved toward the front door. Gazing at the stars at least gave her a different view for the rest of the night. Looking at Luke scribbling on notebook paper under the lamp light got old after a few hours. 

As she walked out into the crisp air, she looked up at the Molina home. Almost all the lights were off, except for a soft pink hue in the upper right corner. Julie’s room, Y/N thought. She crossed her arms at her chest, trying to think about reasons the girl would be up so late. 

Julie’s quiet moment was quickly interrupted by a sudden swoosh of wind near the corner of her desk. 

She quickly opened her eyes and met the soft gaze of a certain ghost. Julie’s lips pulled back into a smile as she turned to face the girl properly. 

“Well come on in,” Julie giggled.

“Sorry, I saw your light on and I got worried because...” She looked down at the papers sprawled out on the desk. “Do you know it’s like 12:30 a.m., Molina?” 

Julie ran a hand through her hair, nodding at her.

“I’m very aware. I have an AP test tomorrow, so I’m pulling one all-nighter so that I don’t fail tomorrow afternoon.”

Y/N walked over to the edge of Julie’s bed to sit down. She placed her hands on her lap as she leaned toward the girl on the chair in front of her.

“It was always harder for me to focus after all nighters...” Y/N said, chewing on her lower lip.

“Y/N, I will be fine.” 

She closed her lips for a moment, nodding. She tilted her head to the side and let a small smile slip onto her face.

“Can I at least keep you company? Or help in any way?” 

Julie shook her head “You don’t have to do that, it’s so late.” 

“Jules, I’m a ghost, I can’t sleep anyway.” 

Julie’s hand clasped over her mouth as she giggled into it. Y/N’s smile grew as she watched the girl’s dark eyes light up in the soft glow of her fairy lights. Her eyes wandered over to a chair on the other side of the room. She got up and fetched it, pulling it next to Julie’s. 

Julie grabbed her flashcards from the side of her desk and handed them to the girl. Their fingers brushed, a sensation neither girl was quite used to yet with Julie’s new ability under control. Y/N tried to fight the warmth that washed over her from such a tiny touch, but she knew her pale complexion would give her away instantly. 

Julie pulled away and Y/N’s hands moved to shuffle the deck. The girl brought the cards up to her chest, meeting Julie’s eyes again. Julie glossed over the writing before looking up to the ceiling in thought. “What (if any) did the British and colonists gain from the Seven Years War?” Y/N peeked at the other side of the card before lifting her eyes to study the other girl’s look of concentration. 

“I think that is..The St. Lawrence River Valley?” Julie said, squinting her eyes in anticipation.

Y/N narrowed her eyes too “Almost, The St. Lawrence River valley and the land between the Mississippi River and Appalachian Mountains.” 

Julie sighed, running her hands through her curls. Y/N pursed her lips in sympathy as she watched the girl repeat the answer to herself quietly a few times before facing her again. Y/N set the cards down for a moment, meeting Julie’s gaze.

“Jules, you’ve been studying for a while, don’t beat yourself up. It’s really understandable that everything may be blending together right now.”  Y/N took a pause before clutching the cards again. “Let’s do the next one?”

The right corner of Julie’s mouth lifted to a smile as she looked at the girl and nodded in agreement.

The two girls studied for another hour.  By the time they reached the end of the deck, Julie’s eyes were starting to shut completely. Y/N silently set the cards on the desk and reached over to softly grab Julie’s hand. The girl jumped a bit at the contact, but a sleepy smile fell on her face as her eyes readjusted to her surroundings. 

“I think it’s time for bed, Jules. You need at least a few hours of sleep,” Y/N said, her head tilting to the side as she stared at Julie. 

The curly haired girl nodded, lifting herself off the chair. Y/N rose too, keeping her hand in Julie’s to guide her to bed. Julie let go of hers as she crawled under the covers. Y/N made sure she was fully covered with blankets before she poofed out of the room. 

The next afternoon

Y/N and the boys sat in the garage, the girl’s face in the middle of a book as the boy’s talked about new lyrics in the other corner. The doors at the front of the garage opened quickly, revealing a beaming Julie Molina. Her eyes searched around the room until she met Y/N’s gaze. She ran over to the couch, standing in front of her almost jumping up and down in excitement. 

“I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS,” She squealed, holding a piece of paper with a giant A on the top of it.

Y/N stood up to meet her, holding her arms out to her. Julie rushed into them, hugging her closely. As they moved to pull away, they stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Julie’s cheeks turned pink as she took a step back. Y/N let a soft smile hold onto her left cheek as she held the eye contact.

“That’s amazing, so happy for you Jules!” 

She nodded at her, spinning on her heels and running toward the boys to show them. Y/N leaned to the left, letting her gaze set on the happy girl in the corner of the room. Luke’s eyes moved from Julie to Y/N, and he shot her a knowing grin. The girl rolled her eyes before sitting back on the couch and diverting her gaze back to her book. 

She heard footsteps run in her direction again and looked up to see Julie in front of her, holding her right wrist in her left hand. 

“Y/N, the boys are being lame and don’t want to sit with me as I eat celebratory ice cream, will you come with me?” Her wide eyes looking at the girl expectedly.

Y/N let her gaze slip over to the three musicians behind Julie and Luke grinned again, mouthing “you can thank me later” in her direction. She sighed, moving her eyes back to Julie’s with a wide grin. 

“Of course Jules, I’d love to come!” 

Julie’s smile grew “Cool, I’m going to get changed and then we can go!” 

Her curls bounced behind her as she ran toward the open doors. As soon as Julie was out of sight, she felt the cushions next to her collapse. She looked over to the smug grins spread across all of her friend’s faces. 

“Jules, I’d loveeee to go,” Luke mocked her, batting his eyelashes in her direction.

“Julie oh my goodness I’m so proud of youuuu,” Alex joined in, clasping his hands under his chin. 

The girl picked up two pillow behind her back and hit it against their heads. Giggle spilled out of Reggie’s mouth as the three fought each other on the couch. 

.

.

.

.

Tag list: @marinettepotterandplagg​ @lukeys-giggle​  @xplrreylo​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @bathtimejish​  @bookfrog247​  @dasexydevitt13​ @musicconversedance​ @txrii​ @bestdressedandstressed​ @daisiesforlacey​ @epikskool​  @themaddies-obx​ @jukeobsessedgirl​  @writerinlearning​​ @whatever-happens-imma-stand-tall​ @dani27297 

[harderbetterfasterstarker]

endless

oops my hand slipped and i wrote a very sad drabble that’s just tony missing peter, reflecting on it during the Blip, set pre-as if even now. read it on ao3 here, and if you haven’t, read as if even now (if only to get to their happy ending, i wrote an absurdly fluffy epilogue drabble for them damnit). preemptive tw that this fic reflects on a time where tony was suicidal, and thoughts and attempts are referenced. 

The kid had gotten under his skin, into every breath he took, inside his lungs and running through his veins and pumping through his heart, in ways he hadn’t realized until he’d clutched his body as it crumbled to dust. All he’d known was that he’d felt empty in ways he hadn’t since before he’d become Iron Man, back to Earth and spending his days and nights looking for ways to fill the aching chasm that was always threatening to swallow him whole.

Tony has always been, if anything, at least self-aware when it comes to his many and myriad faults. And the truth is that he is a greedy man, never satisfied with what he has, always reaching for the next thing and the next and the next, always wanting what he can’t have, even when (especially when) it’s not good for him. And he knows that this is the truth, even though Pep always just pats him on the shoulder and gives him one of her softer smiles and says that he deserves to be a little greedy, after all he’s done, after all he’s been through. He hasn’t quite figured out how to argue with that one, even though he knows in his gut that he should. At least he hasn’t figured out how to argue without revealing cards he’d rather keep hidden, even from (especially from) Pep.

Because he’d nearly died, had thought he was going to die, and was ready to die. Another of those things he hasn’t quite worked up the courage to tell Pep yet. Her favored narrative, for him and for the press, is that he held on, fought for life, fought to stay with them for her, for Morgan. Morgan—Christ. So how is he supposed to tell Pep that he’d been lying there, fighting for consciousness through the pain clawing its way across his entire right side, and in what he’d been certain were his dying moments he’d looked at the kid, really looked at him, remembered the way his hair had smelled of cheap shampoo and sweat and dirt when he’d hugged him tight, here, real, undeniably alive, and thought, Oh. Oh.

And that had been enough.

Tony scrubbed his hands across his face, harsh and hard, as if he could erase the memory of that moment, before he’d felt whatever oddball magic Strange had begun working. What he needed to erase were the memories of the five years before that—or, hell, maybe back further. As if Tony would ever—could ever—try to excise Peter from his mind. He wasn’t even sure that he could, now. The kid had gotten under his skin, into every breath he took, inside his lungs and running through his veins and pumping through his heart, in ways he hadn’t realized until he’d clutched his body as it crumbled to dust. All he’d known was that he’d felt empty in ways he hadn’t since before he’d become Iron Man, back to Earth and spending his days and nights looking for ways to fill the aching chasm that was always threatening to swallow him whole.

After Pep had gotten pregnant with Morgan, he’d once, in a drunken spat of extreme bitterness, accused her of convincing him to retire and have a kid as a replacement for Peter. She’d been so mad at him for that one that she’d just left the house and called Rhodey, told them to call her when Tony was sober again. He regretted what he said, but he noticed that she didn’t deny it.

At least, in her eyes, he’d stopped trying to kill himself by the time Morgan was born, so she could reasonably assume that maybe her plan had worked. Shamefully, not even the idea of leaving his baby girl alone in the world without a father was enough to keep him away from that particular ledge—in fact, what he hadn’t admitted to Pepper was that it made him want to run away more, because if Peter was superhuman and brilliant and good, the best of them, and Tony hadn’t been able to protect him, what could Tony hope to do for this little girl? No, it was Nat who got the credit for ending his run of attempts. Most of his attempts had been thwarted by past Tony, who had dreamed up what felt like a thousand and one protocols and alerts for just this scenario, but the last one it had been Nat to walk into his workshop at just the right (wrong) moment, in what if it had been anyone other than the Black Widow he’d have called a coincidence.

“You’ve gotta talk to someone, Tony,” she’d said once they were settled on the couch in the corner of the lab he slept on most nights.

“You don’t think I do? I’ve seen every shrink this side of the Mississippi and several on the other, I’ve gone to those stupid fucking support groups, and it’s—none of it works, Nat.” He’d been drunk—he was always at least slightly drunk, then—and it made him more open. “It’s all wrong.”

Whenever his therapists asked him to talk about what happened on Titan, he clammed up, spoke in the vaguest of terms. He told himself he was protecting Peter’s identity (even in apparent death) but he knew that wasn’t right. He’d considered that he was trying to avoid admitting just how culpable he really was, for dragging a teenager into this fight, for dragging the best mind of a new generation, the sweetest boy he’d ever known, brash and a bit impulsive but with a heart of fucking gold, and let him die on a godforsaken desert planet with a bunch of aliens, Strange, and a man who thought Footloose was a great movie—because he’d had plenty of experience avoiding admitting truths to himself, and this wasn’t his first therapy rodeo—but deep down he knew that wasn’t right either.

“Have you gone to the right ones?” Natasha had asked softly, looking at him carefully, and he had the unsettling feeling she, as always, saw more than he wanted her to see.

“I’ve been to the general ones, the ones for everyone who lost people in the Blip, to family loss, to the ones for first responders and others who felt helpless, I’ve even been to the groups for parents who lost kids.”

He had—at Pep’s insistence, he’d gone. And it was—better, than the others. The scope of his grief felt… more accepted, there. Less out of touch with the experiences of others. But it still wasn’t—enough. When they talked about the future they’d been robbed of with their children, it was a future they got to watch, moments in their lives that were gone—graduations, weddings, grandchildren. And Tony felt that, all of it, deeply—that he should’ve been there to see Pete graduate, valedictorian, go to college wherever he wanted (MIT, it would’ve been MIT), invent something that floored Tony with his brilliance—but that wasn’t quite it. More than all of that, he missed the time he should’ve spent with the kid and didn’t, missed the idea of years of weekends in the lab spilling out ahead of them, hearing him laugh and seeing him smile. He wished he’d just hugged the kid that time in the car, instead of making everything some joke.

“He was just… you know what he said to me, when I first met him and asked him why he was doing what he did? A broke fourteen year old kid, suddenly has superpowers and instead of being captain of the football team and stealing enough to set them up for life, he’s chasing down muggers in a onesie? He said, when you can do what I do, and you don’t do anything, and then bad things happen, they happen because of you. I mean, Christ, Nat. He was the best of us and I—I lost him, and I—and it feels like I can’t breathe.” He realized that his hand had gone, unbidden, to the shell of where the arc reactor had been, clutching at it desperately. Ripping his heart out would’ve maybe been less painful. Natasha had given him another penetrating look and then, whip sharp and faster than certainly his inebriated brain could keep up with, she’d grabbed him by the chin and turned him to look her in the eye.

“I actually like you, Tony, which is why I will say this. You loved Peter, you really truly did. And when you love someone, and they die, it fucking hurts and it never goes away. I like Pepper, I do, but the house in the country and hanging up the suit and the baby? Those won’t make it stop hurting. That pain lives inside you now, because so did Peter. So the only question is whether you can choose to live with it. Like I said, I like you, so I hope the answer is yes, and I think that’s the answer the kid would want for you. But if the answer is no, you call me. I’ll make it quick, and painless, and tidy, and Pep and the baby would never ever know what it really was.”

For once in life, he’d been speechless, left to stare at the spot on the couch she’d vacated as he considered her words, considered that Natasha had had a life, in Russia, before the Red Room had stolen it from her. Considered whether he’d want Pep to think he’d just… had a heart attack. Gotten old, put too much stress on himself. Considered the kid, wondered if there really was a place you went when you died, what he’d say to Peter.

He’d called Natasha once after that, at 3 in the morning a few months after Morgan was born, when he hadn’t been getting enough sleep and when the silence around the house had felt oppressive.

“Tony,” she’d said, quiet and gentle, the kind of tone she took when she was lulling the Hulk back to peace. “Is this the call we talked about?”

“No,” he’d gasped, scrabbling around the kitchen for the picture of Peter and him together, their fake internship picture. “No, I just… Thanks. Thank you.”

“You already had your heart-to-heart, Stark. Don’t think this is a regular thing,” she’d said, sounding more like herself. He’d snorted, clinging to the sense of normalcy.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Won’t put you on the list for talking about our feelings.”

“Atta boy. And Stark… you’re welcome.”

[marksarmel]

What I’m Consuming 02/09/21

You know it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these. I could make excuses, but they’re the all same ones you and all your friends are making about not getting shit done, and they’re all true! 

So, gather ‘round ye mongrels of media as we attempt to satisfy our primal urge to consume!

TV

Wandavision - So much good stuff! I don’t need to talk much about it because everyone else is doing it for me. Just watch it and then talk about it with all your friends.

30 Coins - This Spanish horror series started out great and stayed great…until the last episode. I still recommend watching it because it veers from camp to monster gore to pure horror fun and back again. The characters are well written and some “heroes” end up playing against expectations while others are just what they seem. It’s a good watch just reset some expectations for that last episode. 

The Head - A group of scientists and support crew hunker down in a remote arctic research station and before you know it strange things are afoot! The communications have been destroyed, people are dying and no one knows whodunnit! This is that fun genre of movies where a group of people are completely isolated and it constantly has you asking, “whose the bad one?”. Good stuff.

MOVIES

Sound of Metal - Can a movie about a metal band be introspective and even meditative? Watch and find out. Riz Ahmed paints an enthralling portrait of loss, stubbornness and what comes after. Props to the deft sound design of this movie.

Palm Springs - If you’re like anyone else in the world right now you probably need a pick me up. Watch this This time loop, comedy, love story if you want to laugh and smile. If you’ve got someone to share it with all the better.  I would love to see this movie again at a drive in with someone special.

His House - This haunted house horror movie about two Sudanese refugees hits on several levels and bursts at the seems with tension. I quickly recognized Wunmii Mosaku from Lovecraft Country, but this is the first time I’d seen Sope Dirisu. Both put on great performances that pull at the heart in both fear and sadness. Great overwhelming dread throughout!

MUSIC

Operators - Some friends recommended this other other band from Wolf Parade frontman Daniel Boeckner.  It’s full of 90’s synth nostalgia references while pushing their sound into something modern and intriguing. A good listen on a road trip with your 90’s high school friends or to bop along to while housecleaning.

Dave Grohl and Greg Kurstin’s Hanukkah Sessions - Note: I was supposed to write this in December so this is a bit outdated, but this is still a fun thing to listen to so shut up and listen). These fun covers dropping daily throughout the 8 days of Hanukkah stretch from The Beastie Boys to Drake to Peaches to Mountain’s Mississippi Queen and more. Just good grungy fun, my favorite of the bunch is Elastica’s Connected.

Y La Bamba - Entre Los Dos (Between the Two) - I stumbled across this band on Spotify through their track Ojos Del Sol. Their sound immediately grabbed me in a warm caress and lovingly held me as ones cultural mother might hold a long lost child. This is folk music, Mexican music and in some way spiritual music. It will firmly be part of the soundtrack to the journey of me discovering more about my culture and my own self.

COMICS/BOOKS

The Glass Hotel -  I finished Emily St. John’s most recent book far too quick. A plot device that finds characters orbiting around a key event only to come crashing into each other is her signature move at this point. And while things are slightly different this time around, it’s all told with such mesmerizing prose that I can’t help but long for her next book. The characters are at once real and fantastical, they’re not quite someone you know, but are more of a friend of a friend. Complicated and simple and sad and selfish and hard to figure out, in other words, like actual people.

Miles Morales Spider-Man - Book 3 - More good stuff writer Saladin Ahmed and a bevy of top notch artists, including Javier Garron, Ze Carlos and Belén Ortega. This story moves at a breezy clip and Ahmed excels at building relationships between characters, but the action seems to move along too quickly.  There’s no highs and lows in the fights scenes, an enemy shows up, a few punches are thrown, Miles quickly gets the best of the enemy. I just want to see a bit more tension in some of these scenes. Otherwise this is a fun read that add some nice bits to the Miles Morales character.

GAMES

Hades - This is a fantastic Metroidvania style game that instantly had me staying up way past my bedtime. While some may not like the repetitive gameplay I wasn’t bothered by it. I was also completely hooked by the storyline and the great dialogue. Also, the art and music is top notch!

RANDOM NOTES

I’m going to try and get one of this out every month. Wish me luck.