#not putting a value on whether or not you Should care about what men have to say

[t4tstarvingdog]

just saw someone say they would let a specific guy mansplain to them and then said they didn’t know what he was talking about and like. that’s Not what mansplaining means… i think you just don’t value what men have to say in general

[latristereina]

“Her mouth was sweet and he gently pulled her down on the bed. She closed her eyes, waiting for him to make love to her and Michael felt an enormous happiness. He had spent the war years fighting in the Pacific, and on those bloody islands he had dreamed of a girl like Kay Adams. Of a beauty like hers. A fair and fragile body, milky-skinned and electrified by passion.”

“He was surprised to find himself so secretive with Kay. He loved her, he trusted her, but he would never tell her anything about his father or the Family. She was an outsider.”

“Michael often thought of Kay, of her smile, her body, and always felt a twinge of conscience at leaving her so brutally without a word of farewell.”

“…it was nothing like the love he’d had for Kay, a love based as much on her sweetness, her intelligence and the polarity of the fair and dark.”

“Kay was silent for a long time. ‘Why do you want me to marry you after never calling me all these months? Am I so good in bed?’ Michael nodded gravely. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘But I’m getting it for nothing so why should I marry you for that?’”

‘You are the only person I felt any affection for, that I care about.’

“But Kay was grateful. She knew that Michael had done it against all his own inclinations. Had done it because she had asked him to, and that she was the only person in the world who could make him act against his own nature.”

“Kay put her hand on Hagen’s arm. ‘He didn’t order you to tell me all the other things?’ Hagen hesitated a moment as if debating whether to tell her a final truth. ‘You still don’t understand,’ he said. ‘If you told Michael what I’ve told you today, I’m a dead man.’ He paused again. ‘You and the children are the only people on this earth he couldn’t harm.’”

- Mario Puzo, “The Godfather”

“Michael loved her when he met her and he loved her throughout his life and he loves her to this day, even though their relationship was surrounded by a lie. He not only loves her, he admires her.”

- Al Pacino, (x)

“And consequently, as we see him even in his commendatory finery receiving the highest award the Vatican can bestow he…his face is a mirror of his soul that’s ravaged and sickly and very very heartbroken because what he values the most is the thing that he has lost… but he has his children, and his children at this point, I would think to Michael mean everything, his daughter and his son.”

“Although to me, what is about to happen here is the beginning of rebuilding of what really means most to him…I have no doubt that Michael despite the limitations of his Sicilian-American upbringing and how men were supposed to be, how women were supposed to be and wives were supposed to be, he really loved Kay, much as Diane and Al really love each other or loved each other or probably will always love each other… I felt we were dealing with real things in the context of this romantic novel.”

- Francis Ford Coppola’s DVD commentary, (x)

“He would do it for his children, this boy and this girl that was all he had left of his marriage with Kay, which obviously meant a lot to him but which she basically pulled the plug on. She was not going to be married to a man who murdered people and stuff.”

“I saw what Michael had, and thereby understood what he had lost. He loved Kay, you know. Kay represented to him this dream that one day he would be out of it. He would have achieved the goal, which was to one day be totally legitimate. He had promised her that he would do that and somehow he was not quite able to just pull it off.”

- Francis Ford Coppola, (x)

@godfat-her

[not-a-lady-irl]

I should have walked away

Pairing: Ellis Twilight x f!reader Summary: Your thoughts and feelings torment you more and more, whenever Ellis' vision appears. You wonder if he will ever love you. Warnings: angst, terrible writing Author's Note: 👍 Words: 1.4k

For days you felt like this, finished, hopeless, frustrated. You worked as the Fairytale Keeper at Crown, which, in fact, was not something you expected to experience when you thought about your future before the fateful night, but until you learned to live well with this change. Whether you admit it or not, you met new people, saw another side of society and became aware of things you had no idea even existed, cursed people.

— Thank you so much for your help today Ellis!

— It was fun spending the afternoon with you… thank you Y/N…

Throughout your stay at Crown, you ended up spending time with all the boys that made up that organization, but Ellis was the one who caught your attention the most. You wondered why he always seemed so calm despite all the hard work he put in day and night. All this, with a smile on your face. Besides the fact that he was a man of mystery to you, why did he join Crown? Why did he insist on working for Jude? These were some of the many questions you wished you had the courage to ask him one day, but you felt like it was none of your business.

You watched as Ellis waved you goodbye and headed to his room, without even looking back.

— Ugh… — A sigh leaves your lips as soon as the vision of the black-haired man disappears.

'He's always so kind and polite… I wonder if he knows about this… if he acts like this with everyone', your thoughts begin to appear, making your feelings towards the man you had said bye more and more apparent.

It's not like you promised not to fall in love or that you weren't interested in romance at the moment, quite the opposite, it was something you craved all the time, the feeling of being loved, of knowing that someone values ​​and cares about you, to smile at the thought that there might be someone waiting for you at home, to be able to taste what it's like to hear "I love you" from someone else's lips… especially if that person was Ellis.

Walking towards the exit of the castle, you try to clear away the fog of increasingly romantic thoughts that insist on taking over your mind. You knew that all those men were destined to have a tragic, sad ending, that they lived their lives now wondering if tomorrow they would find their last breath. Maybe that's why Ellis never showed any loving feelings towards you. Maybe the idea that he's just worried about your safety and happiness makes you more comfortable than believing that he just doesn't feel anything at all. It was easier to live like this. You had a bad habit of confusing kindness with some interest behind it, and the only thing you were sure of was that this way of thinking was your own ruin.

—Tsk, you're in the way, ya know? The´re busy people who need to pass, princess.

Oh, Jude.

— I'm leaving now, sorry.

—Thinkin' about him again? — A mischievous smile escapes his lips.

— I don't know who you're talking about. Not busy? — You respond, trying to ignore the obvious provocation that man was making. You were already used to it.

You expected any humiliation, insults from that man, but the only thing that welcomed you was a deafening silence. Something you didn't expect, and that scared you more than hearing something bad coming out of his mouth. You didn't know if you should turn your head to see if he had just left or if you should just move on, but curiosity killed the cat.

— What there was? Won't-

— Take care. — He replied.

— Oh! Um…? Be careful… with what exactly? — The answer took you by surprise.

— Ya know. — And so, Jude turned and walked away towards the Crown castle, leaving you alone with these statements.

— Wow…

You had planned to get some fresh air in the city, precisely to try to appease your feelings and thoughts of the man who had been tormenting you all this time. Be careful? With what exactly? For what reason? Wasn't all your caution all this time with the Crown members enough? Was it an attempt to get rid of these feelings as quickly as possible? Because they have a relatively short lifespan due to curses? It was killing you, it was already taking over your body, it was a slow, painful suffering.

Every day you tried hard to give a fake smile that everything was fine when clearly that doubt tormented your life day after day. 'Is it just me that he acts like that?', 'Does he know that I feel something other than friendship when it comes to him?'.

Damn… your eyes were already soaking wet from how much you were crying. Running out of the castle definitely didn't help much, as the other members watching her wondered what had happened to their beloved Robin.

— I'm really an idiot…

Your legs running as fast as they could, the burning already appearing, your feet begging for a rest, but the only thing you wanted was to run, away from that castle, those people, him.

You felt guilty for acting that way, it wasn't his fault that you weren't honest with your feelings… or that you weren't brave enough for not confessing them to him. But what tormented you was the simple question of, if you confessed, would he accept it? Would he say he felt the same way too? Would he hug you and tell you in your eyes that he loves you too?

Well, now you wouldn't find out, as the castle moved further and further away from you. And so does he.

When you arrived in the city, seeing the movement of people somehow calmed you down. The gentle night breeze on the bridge you were on invited you to stop for a moment and enjoy the view, at least for a second. The movement of the waves, the noise of the water colliding with the stone walls, the birds singing nearby enchanted you in a way that made you mesmerized by the view you had access to in this place.

But even though you felt calm and attracted at that moment, your heart still hadn't forgotten why it beat faster and faster, a constant reminder of what it did to you. This bothered you, the feeling of realizing that you didn't have control over your feelings and the way your body reacted to them. Ellis smiled, her heart racing. Ellis greeted you, his lips forming a smile. Ellis praised you, his cheeks flushed. Ellis touched you, your whole body responded to the touch.

It would be a dream to believe that he would feel the same, that he would have fallen in love with an ordinary girl like you. How many times were the two of you alone and spent a long time looking at his lips, giving him a signal to notice… but nothing happened. Sometimes he was really making a fool of you, who knows?

— I'm really pathetic. — You said that louder than you really thought.

Maybe you should take Jude's advice seriously and be careful with Ellis. You wouldn't suffer for him anymore, not after everything you've been through without making any progress. No, you were going to give up, this love wasn't for you. You were going to kill this love. You were going to kill this love. Stepping in a way that reminds it to never return.

It would be difficult to sleep without dreaming about him, in fact it was almost impossible. From the first day you met him, that you saw that smile… you should have run, gone, walked away, and not clung any more and desired even more. You made a mistake and now you are paying the consequences for your actions.

It was late, the moon and stars were a constant reminder that a woman should not be alone on these streets at this time of night. Not even you.

When you finally decided to leave where you were standing, thinking, a man holds your arm tightly, his face exuding hatred.

— Hey you, you hang out with those two guys, don't you?

[musicalmoritz]

what do you think terukane would be like with like the entire traditional exorcist family issues blah blah blah be like? because i can definitely see terus father either not caring or being like super duper homophobic? it’s interesting because i’ve seen so many fanfics of teru clinging to traditions and values so much that he refuses to see it any other way like kou does, because he can’t afford it..? like i see him being whipped but if they ver get together..? brain rot

The Minamoto clan definitely seems to be traditional with their views on masculinity, both Minamoto brothers express chivalrous viewpoints and actions. Kou is often praised for being a gentleman but he also refuses to swear in front of women so…yeah, very traditional view of gender. Since they’re brothers and seem to act the same way about how women should be treated/how they should express their strength as men, it’s not a reach to assume this chivalry was instilled in them by their clan

I am the Number One Papa Minamoto Hater so yeah, I believe that man is a homophobe. I have little to no evidence for this other than he has rancid vibes but I stand by it. Teru and Kou both seem fairly comfortable with queerness in canon though (Teru treats the men that flirt with him the same way he treats the women, Kou openly holds hands with Mitsuba during the PP arc when everyone could see them), but I could still see them dealing with some internalized homophobia. Not just from the homophobic dad headcanon, but because they both have very strict views of what a man should be. Strong, reliable, unshakable, protective. These align with the societal expectations for masculinity, which are deeply intertwined with heteronormativity and thus heterosexuality. I’ll admit, I run with that narrative in my Terukane fics

I see the development of Terukane as a slow process which involves Teru becoming more comfortable with his queerness and also reflecting on his own wants and needs regarding his future for the first time. He’s unhappy with his life as it is, and Akane wouldn’t put up with that. He’d make Teru take his own feelings into consideration, which would lead to a series of very difficult revelations for Teru. So the majority of the slowburn is Teru learning to accept that he cannot find true happiness within the path that has been paved for him, including the expectation of marrying a woman (or of not loving men, depending on whether I’m writing him as gay or bi)

Once they actually get together I see Teru becoming much more comfortable in his own skin. He doesn’t hesitate to be grossly affectionate with Akane in public, but mostly because he does it to annoy Akane. During more serious moments, the aforementioned internalized homophobia might make him feel awkward about being with a man. And they don’t show any affection around his father, which isn’t really a problem because the dude’s never home

[warrioreowynofrohan]

I read Middlemarch by George Eliot a couple years ago on ebook, and liked it very much; today I brought a paper copy, and find myself – as with the introduction of my copy of Jane Eyre, as with many of the literary-criticism bad takes on Dracula that people have discussed in Dracula Daily – dissatisfied with the attempt at feminist literary analysis made in its introduction.

The analysis, though largely positive, says that “The portrayal of Rosamond’s motivation is less sure than Lydgate’s,” and suggests that it is a detraction from the work’s feminist qualities that “while criticizing Lydgate’s expectations for a wife, George Eliot seems also to blame Rosamonfd for not putting her husband’s views and needs before her own.” It also sees “ambivalence” in the conflict between “sharp satire of Mr. Casaubon’s requirement of complete devotion in a wife and warm authorial devotion of Dorothea’s desire to serve her husband selflessly.” And finally, the analyst is troubled that Eliot’s praise of Rosamond is highest when she overcomes her own jealousy and unhappiness to go to Rosamond to save Rosamond and Lydgate’s marriage and likely save Rosamond herself from disaster: the analyst says, “There is nothing feminist or progressive in her action or the narrator’s presentation of it…Dorothea’s achievement is a purely personal one.”

These quotes and the ideas in which they are embedded give me the impression that the analyst is mssing something very crucial about the book by attempting to divide it into actions and attitudes that are “feminist” (women doing what they want or acting outside of their designated spheres) and those that are “non-feminist” (women acting inside the ‘personal/familial’ sphere or acting in service to others). It makes for a very shallow and lacking take on the novel. It comes from imposing the analyst’s own framework – one the novel is not designed to meet – and finding anything that does not mesh with that framework inconsistent or ambivalent.

The division that is of importance to the novel and its author, I believe, is between actions – whether by women or men – that are directed at the well-being of others or at a higher purpose, and actions that are directed at the satisfaction of one’s own comfort, complacency, or vanity. This very straightforwardly illuminates why Dorothea should be admired both for her desire to serve a higher goal in contributing to better housing for workers, to meaningful academic research, to anything, and for showing kindness, compassion and selflessness even within the limited sphere where she has been placed. It likewise illuminates why the author (while being clearly critical of the society that has produced Rosamond and that holds up her uselessness as the feminine ideal) can also convey some blame of Rosamond by thinking only of her own desires and comforts and not even trying to understand or sympathize with Lydgate’s higher goal of giving people useful medical care.

The tragedy of Rosamond is not only that she is placed within a limited sphere, taught not just to only know but to only value what belongs to that sphere, and that she then frustrates her husband by them being what she was taught to be – it is that she contributes nothing to the world and does not want to contribute anything to the world. What I feel from the book is that Eliot feels the greatest thing in human life is to exercise your capacities fully to serve and benefit others, and that Rosamond’s tragedy (which she does not even know to recognize as a tragedy) is her self-centredness as much as her ‘feminine sphere’, and that those two things are both intertwined in what society and education have taught her that a woman should be. The book is saying: “Look at this woman – she’s what you want, she’s what you teach women to be, and not despite but because of that she is unable to be a partner to her husband, which is the only goal you say women should have!”

Dorothea’s virtue is that all her goals are about living for something larger than herself; she and Lydgate stand out in that desire, and if she is initially thwarted in it, by the end she at least gets to do it to a greater degree than he does.

There’s also something else I find feminist about the novel, and it touches on the third of the three main relationships – Mary Garth and Fred Vincy – which the literary analyst in the Intro completely ignores, presumably because they find it uninteresting. There seem to exist a variation on the same novel in many different cultures, the story of a woman who is dissatisfied in her marriage, has an affair with a man (who has very little appealing about himself) as an outlet fir her dissatisfaction, and dies or is ruined. In Russia it is Anna Karenina, in France it is Madame Bovary, in Germany it is Effi Briest, in the United States it is The Awakening. George Eliot is writing a novel that could very easily follow that model, and she doesn’t. All three of her women make marriages that could end in disaster for them: Dorothea misunderstands the man she marries and is already unhappy by her honeymoon, when she meets a younger abd more attractive man; Rosamond falls out of love with her husband over financial matters, nearly has an affair, and is discovered in it; Mary Garth is a good, responsible young woman who ‘throws herself away’ on a man whom we first see as an irresponsible gambler. But in this book, none if them are ruined, and all of them “win”. Dorothea outlives her husband and marries another man whom she loves and who suits her better, and with whom she can pursue meaningful goals; Rosamond gets the comfortable life she wanted; Fred turns out surprisingly well and he and Mary are happy. Instead, it is the main male character who is ruined by his matrimonial choices – Lydgate is deeply unhappy in the un-meaningful, profit-seeking life, and dies early, and the bitterness of his life is powerfully evoked in his description of Rosamond as a “basil-plant…a plant which flourishes on murdered men’s brains.” Eliot, unlike other authors of her time, lets her women make marriage decisions which are or might be seriously erroneous without deing destroyed by them. All of them, get happy endings, by their own definitions. And Dorothea, her central character, is in my view far more interesting than the main characters of the aforementioned novels because she has a real goal – to do good for the world in a meaningful way – rather than just an inchoate dissatisfaction that becomes expressed in sexual or romantic desire, as if that was the only thing women cared about.

[shunnedmorlock]

Hi! What are your opinions on each of the greens ?

Have a good day/night!

Otto: I think he gets a bad rap, not in absolute terms but relatively to the people like Viserys and Daemon. If you hate Otto for pushing Alicent to marry Viserys, you should hate Viserys much, much more. Otto is "merely" complicit in what happened. There was no one Vissy could've said no to more effectively than Otto. It just goes to a double standard you see a lot with these farcical black-green debates where people change their opinions on whether it's ok to judge people by in-universe standards depending on what "team" they're a part of. He has a habit of telling unfortunate truths that get him in trouble, but most of the things he says are just, like, objectively true, but people don't want to hear it. Daemon is actually a danger to the realm and his brother, Rhaenyra does actually have to give the scions of great houses a hearing, Daemon did actually groom Rhaenyra to claim the throne, Alicent's children do pose an inherent threat to Rhaenyra by their mere existence.

From a Doylist perspective, like many other things, I think episode 9 really butchered Otto's character. All of a sudden the guy who has been working hand in hand with his daughter for the past few episodes didn't tell her about the plot to seat her son on the throne??? And now the guy who got fired by Aegon for being too slow and measured in his war planning is pushing to kill Rhaenyra immediately? And he wants to send the Kingsguard to do clandestine assassin work? And he's reluctant to ban child fighting pits for like no reason? I'm sorry, you don't have to be a feminist to not like that!

Alicent: I have talked about her at length. Nixonian Queen. I kneel. The war will make her worse, and I enjoy it. One of the characters I think on-balance the show improved.

Criston: Not a good guy by any means, but dismissing him as just a resentful incel is just boring. It's very clear he was, at best, conflicted about his tryst with Rhaenyra to begin with - he liked her, they had a lot of chemistry, but he does genuinely believe in his vows. The marriage thing is obviously silly and naive, but from his perspective it's him trying to do right by her (and also preserve himself and his soul), which puts him a step above many other Westerosi men who canonically often feel no obligations to the women they sleep with outside of marriage or the children created. There is a real difference in values between him and Rhaenyra that goes beyond him hating women, even if his values aren't strictly speaking good. I'm sorry, but the fact that a Westerosi man is as sexually repressed as an average Westerosi woman is genuinely a point in his favor! I sincerely hope he and Alicent make each other worse. Substantially improved by the show.

Aegon: This is going to be controversial, but baffling/over-the-top/ill-thought-out decisions like Dyana and the child fighting pits aside, I much prefer this version of Aegon to F&B. I don't care that he's kind of pathetic, that's fun, that's drama, that gives room for character development and growth into the king he ends up becoming. It's clear the writers do want Aegon to be kind of sympathetic, but it seems they didn't consider what stuff like Dyana would do to that, which to me indicates they meant the focus of that scene to be Alicent and her behavior, not Aegon. Which is stupid. One of the worse victims of inconsistent characterization, switching between vaguely sympathetic drunken frat bro to outright sex criminal every episode, or even in the same episode.

Helaena: I like what they've done with her. It's more interesting for her to be a doomed neurodivergent prophetess than just a little dumb, even though she hasn't done a ton so far. Similarly, in an RP I was a part of, Jaehaera was depicted as not simple, just autistic and it was much more interesting.

Aemond: BORING! Don't care about this guy, sorry. Maybe I'll like him more when he is pathetically down-bad for Alys Rivers, but right now he's just like budget Daemon to me, who I also find boring. He was more interesting as a bullied teen.

Larys: He's a tough guy to adapt because his motivations are kind of nonsensical behind a vague idea of getting back at Rhaenyra (?) for dishonoring his brother (??) by putting his children in line for the throne (???). The foot thing is kind of gross and I do wish they'd have given him an actual motivation but whatever. The actor's good and I do like him and Alicent on balance. Improved by the adaptation.

Tyland: We love our little bureaucrat don't we folks? Hope he gets more screen time later on.

Jasper Wylde: FUCK YOU SHOWRUNNERS WHY IS THE GUY WHO HAS HAD ONE LINE THIS ENTIRE SEASON PART OF THE COUP BUT NOT ALICENT FUCKING HIGHTOWER??????

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

I've been trying to read about maids (and other servants), both as a personal interest and research for a work of fiction ive been drafting and redrafting for a long time. One of the first things I've read to that end is the original 1922 edition of Emily Post (Etiquette In Society, In Politics, and at Home). I'm not finished reading it, but it's been a very interesting look into 1920's high society- both by what the author puts proudly on paper, and what she suggests as a matter of course. For instance, there is a lot of humor in it where she might say something fairly clever or witty, but you can also tell that half the examples of "what you shouldn't do" are just poorly disguised attacks on people she personally despises in her own life. Also you get to see where the author brazenly exposes her classism/racism/misogyny, and the subtle ways those things are revealed just by nature of the social structure she is prescribing.

Anyway, I thought I'd post my thoughts on the chapter most devoted to a housekeeping staff (which is chapter 12, The Well Appointed House). This is a somewhat long post so more below the cut if you're interested! I'm afraid I'm not much of a historian, so my thoughts are rather brief, but I hope it's interesting anyway.

Every house has an outward appearance to be made as presentable as possible, an interior continually to be set in order, and incessantly to be cleaned. And for those that dwell within it there are meals to be prepared and served; linen to be laundered and mended; personal garments to be brushed and pressed; and perhaps children to be cared for. There is also a door-bell to be answered in which manners as well as appearance come into play.

The personality of a house is indefinable, but there never lived a lady of great cultivation and charm whose home, whether a palace, a farm-cottage or a tiny apartment, did not reflect the charm of its owner. Every visitor feels impelled to linger, and is loath to go. Houses without personality are a series of rooms with furniture in them. Sometimes their lack of charm is baffling; every article is "correct" and beautiful, but one has the feeling that the decorator made chalk-marks indicating the exact spot on which each piece of furniture is to stand. Other houses are filled with things of little intrinsic value, often with much that is shabby, or they are perhaps empty to the point of bareness, and yet they have that "inviting" atmosphere, and air of unmistakable quality which is an unfailing indication of high-bred people.

The subject of furnishings is however the least part of this chapter—appointments meaning decoration being of less importance (since this is not a book on architecture or decoration!), than appointments meaning service.

While the bulk of this chapter is devoted to detailing the structure of a house staff, and how best you (a well bred lady) should manage that staff, the chapter begins with advice on how to furnish your house in good taste. While this didn't immediately occur to me on the first read, I think it says quite a bit about the attitude of the author that "the things in your house" and "the people you employ to maintain those things" are lumped into the same category.

In very "beautifully done" houses (all the dresses of the maids are furnished them), the color of the uniforms is chosen to harmonize with the dining-room. At the Gildings', Jr., for instance, where there are no men servants because Mr. Gilding does not like them, but where the house is as perfect as a picture on the stage, the waitress and parlor-maid wear in the blue and yellow dining-room, dresses of Nattier blue taffeta with aprons and collars and cuffs of plain hemstitched cream-colored organdie, that is as transparent as possible; blue stockings and patent leather slippers with silver buckles, their hair always beautifully smooth. Sometimes they wear caps and sometimes not, depending upon the waitress' appearance. Twenty years ago, every maid in a lady's house wore a cap except the personal maid, who wore (and still does) a velvet bow, or nothing. But when every little slattern in every sloppy household had a small mat of whitish Swiss pinned somewhere on an untidy head, and was decked out in as many yards of embroidery ruffling on her apron and shoulders as her person could carry, fashionable ladies began taking caps and trimmings off, and exacting instead that clothes be good in cut and hair be neatly arranged. A few ladies of great taste dress their maids according to individual becomingness; some faces look well under a cap, others look the contrary. A maid whose hair is rather fluffy—especially if it is dark—looks pretty in a cap, particularly of the coronet variety. No one looks well in a doily laid flat, but fluffy fair hair with a small mat tilted up against a knot of hair dressed high can look very smart. A young woman whose hair is straight and rebellious to order, can be made to look tidy and even attractive in a headdress that encircles the whole head. A good one for this purpose has a very narrow ruche from 9 to 18 inches long on either side of a long black velvet ribbon. The ruche goes part way, or all the way, around the head, and the velvet ribbon ties, with streamers hanging down the back. On the other hand, many extremely pretty young women with hair worn flat do not look well in caps of any description—except "Dutch" ones which are, in most houses, too suggestive of fancy dress. If no caps are worn the hair must be faultlessly smooth and neat; and of course where two or more maids are seen together, they must be alike. It would not do to have one wear a cap and the other not.

To continue that thought, maids and dolls do have a lot in common, I suppose. As a side note, the author uses pseudonyms for some of her close friends when she is discussing specific examples, I wonder if a contemporary reader would easily be able to determine who she is writing about or not. Anyway, this section particularly sickens me, with reference to Mr. Gilding and his preferences. This detail is thrown in, as an afterthought, but leaves so much misogyny unsaid. Maybe Mr. Gilding doesn't need a valet, and would feel gay having some guy picking out his clothes or whatever. But why should that preference extend to the rest of the staff? Etiquette is full of little surprises like this. To continue with this train of thought of maids as an extension of the self-

The well-bred maid instinctively makes little of a guest's accident, and is as considerate as the hostess herself. Employees instinctively adopt the attitude of their employer.

Regardless,

Are maids allowed to receive men friends? Certainly they are! Whoever in remote ages thought it was better to forbid "followers" the house, and have Mary and Selma slip out of doors to meet them in the dark, had very distorted notions to say the least. And any lady who knows so little of human nature as to make the same rule for her maids to-day is acting in ignorant blindness of her own duties to those who are not only in her employ but also under her protection.

At least Post is not advocating for this kind of control over the lives of her staff, but now we know this happens often enough it needed to be remarked on.

Unless he is an old-time colored servant in the South a butler who wears a "dress suit" in the daytime is either a hired waiter who has come in to serve a meal, or he has never been employed by persons of position; and it is unnecessary to add that none but vulgarians would employ a butler (or any other house servant) who wears a mustache! To have him open the door collarless and in shirt-sleeves is scarcely worse!

I'm not so equipped to dissect this passage, as I'm admittedly not so equipped with the context a contemporary reader would have with how this comparison is meant to come across, but it doesn't feel like its a very flattering one at all. Again, I'm not really well equipped to be doing a deep dive on this. So while the above passages reveal the author's attitude subtly, those below I feel do it directly. I present them without comment.

A rule can't be given because there isn't any. As said in another chapter, a well-bred person always lives within the walls of his personal reserve, a vulgarian has no walls—or at least none that do not collapse at the slightest touch. But those who think they appear superior by being rude to others whom fortune has placed below them, might as well, did they but know it, shout their own unexalted origin to the world at large, since by no other method could it be more widely published.

But before going into the various details of service, it might be a good moment to speak of the unreasoning indignity cast upon the honorable vocation of a servant. There is an inexplicable tendency, in this country only, for working people in general to look upon domestic service as an unworthy, if not altogether degrading vocation. The cause may perhaps be found in the fact that this same scorning public having for the most part little opportunity to know high-class servants, who are to be found only in high-class families, take it for granted that ignorant "servant girls" and "hired men" are representative of their kind. Therefore they put upper class servants in the same category—regardless of whether they are uncouth and illiterate, or persons of refined appearance and manner who often have considerable cultivation, acquired not so much at school as through the constant contact with ultra refinement of surroundings, and not infrequently through the opportunity for world-wide travel. And yet so insistently has this obloquy of the word "servant" spread that every one sensitive to the feelings of others avoids using it exactly as one avoids using the word "cripple" when speaking to one who is slightly lame. Yet are not the best of us "servants" in the Church? And the highest of us "servants" of the people and the State? To be a slattern in a vulgar household is scarcely an elevated employment, but neither is working in a sweat-shop, or belonging to a calling that is really degraded; which is otherwise about all that equal lack of ability would procure. On the other hand, consider the vocation of a lady's maid or "courier" valet and compare the advantages these enjoy (to say nothing of their never having to worry about overhead expenses), with the opportunities of those who have never been out of the "factory" or the "store" or further away than the adjoining town in their lives. As for a nurse, is there any vocation more honorable? No character in E.F. Benson's "Our Family Affairs" is more beautiful or more tenderly drawn than that of "Beth," who was not only nurse to the children of the Archbishop of Canterbury but one of the most dearly beloved of the family's members—her place was absolutely next to their mother's in the very heart of the household always. Two years ago, Anna, who had for a lifetime been Mrs. Gilding's personal maid, died. Every engagement of that seemingly frivolous family was cancelled, even the invitations for their ball. Not one of the family but mourned for what she truly was, their humble but nearest friend. Would it have been so much better, so much more dignified, for these two women, who lived long useful years in closest association with every cultivating influence of life, to have lived on in their native villages and worked in a factory, or to have had a little store of their own? Does this false idea of dignity—since it is false—go so far as that?

Thank you for reading! There is a lot more one could discuss in that chapter, some of which I initially included but left out. I might return to this, after reading the full text, or if people are curious about it.

Oh, and you can read the full text yourself here on Project Gutenberg!

[philonous]

1, 4, 5, 12, 19 Forrrr Ivan :] ⛪️

1. Do you have a favourite mirror world/id of yours? Or least favourite?

I do not care to think about the supposed versions of ‘myself’ that exist in other worlds. The phoney reproductions that masquerade as I in these mirror worlds do not concern me in the slightest.

4. Would you say you’re particularly close to anyone in your branch? Is there anyone you’d like to get closer to?

You are strangely curious (and quite audacious in your assumption that you would receive a response) about some very insignificant matters. I quite fail to grasp why this should be of any concern to the likes of you?

5. On the contrary, anyone you particularly dont get along with? Anyone you can’t really stand?

My personal relationships have no reason to be discussed here- or with you, whoever you may be, for what it is worth.

12. What would you consider to be your own ‘weaknesses’?

I am not so much a fool to casually hand out such vulnerable information about myself. Your shamelessness with these pointless questions is beginning to get on my nerves.

19. I give you the classic trolley problem. What’s your answer?

Ah, so it is this question now. A more respectable one, at least. (the answer is. Long. so im putting it under the cut)

To discuss it, it is important to consider the background of the dilemma before anything else- It was proposed by Philippa Foot as a thought experiment trying to explore the idea that it seems permissible to our moral intuitions that we can sacrifice one man to save five when the one is tied up on the tracks. Ultimately, I do not believe that there is a correct answer to the trolley problem, as it was created specifically to inspire deep thought and analysis, and the concept of ‘righteousness’ is something that is hardly rigidly defined across the world or even within the limits of a single culture.

To approach this question we must first define what it means to be moral. Morality is the human attempt to define what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in thought and behaviour, but you will find that in many instances, no two men can agree on one definition for this concept. It is said that man is a moral creature, but morality is in itself a subjective matter. It greatly varies and depends on one’s geographic location. Religion and culture within a certain geographic location determine the set of moral values that people incidentally subconsciously live by. It makes sense, then, that there are so many different answers to this seemingly (to many) simple trolley question. Most often religion is the thing that primarily shapes morality, so if there is no god to guide man, then everything is permitted, is it not? Thus the trolley problem is rendered meaningless, so one must answer this question while assuming that a god exists, and im afraid i am not the person suited for this. The trolley problem is often presented with a set of follow-up questions to further complicate the discussion. It is a valuable question to ask whether our answers do, or should, change if (for example) the five individuals on the tracks are convicted felons and so on. However, assuming that the question I'm being asked is simply about the ambiguous and lacking in detail trolley problem which simply asks whether one would or would not pull the lever, I will disregard any hypothetical additions to the problem to save us time and simultaneously, not wander ‘off track’ (haha). The problem is based on the person in question not having any knowledge about the people tied to the tracks. If we add a new element to the problem, it will of course be altered completely. If we know nothing about any of the people involved, each life is valued as unequivocally equal. To reach my personal answer after all, I do not believe I can confidently say that I know, in the moment, whether I would switch the lever and kill a single person or whether I would allow for the train to kill five others instead. Aside from moral intuition, our setting and emotional state will affect our action or inaction in every possible situation. The trolley problem is fundamentally based on the question of whether the lives of five people are worth more than the life of a single person. We are not God, we cannot make such a comparison and judgement, and thus we are not allowed to interfere with the situation one way or another(if we consider morality). There is no 'right' answer to this dilemma ( there is not meant to be one in the first place), only an acknowledgement that we cannot anticipate all the possible outcomes because we do not have all the information available. Ugh. Such a question is impossible to discuss in only a few words, there are a lot of other factors to consider, but I will have to finish here, for the sake of saving the time I do not possess the privilege of wasting at the moment.

[noemilivv]

Hi! I was wondering if I could get a romantic matchup for Hazbin?

I'm bi but with a preference for men, so I would like a male character as a matchup :)

Anyway, I'm an ambiverted female. I may seem quiet and unapproachable at first, but once I get close with someone, I'm a completely different person; I'm a bit charismatic, I like to joke around and I love to engage in playful banter with my friends. I'm also very often sarcastic and sometimes I like to tease my friends (and I don't mind being teased back). I'm also the type of friend in a group who tries to stop the rest from doing dumb shit, especially if I consider it too dumb or dangerous. You could say I'm the rational friend or even mom friend of the group maybe. I may come off as mean sometimes, but it's either my attempt at joking or trying to show that I care. I'm also not afraid to call someone out on their bullshit if I think they are going overboard and I value loyalty a lot.

As for my style, lately I've been dressing mostly in all black, kinda goth style (but I always wear pants, never skirts, I despise them lol). I also love silver jewelry, I always wear some visible earrings (usually dragon or snake themed) and I have a silver ring on each finger on both my hands (I feel almost naked without them).

My main interest/hobby is listening to music I guess, I can't love without it. Lately I've been into any rock type of music, heavy metal, pop-rock, hard rock, etc. Besides that, I also love to draw, read and travel. I guess I should also mention that I've been an equestrian for many years.

And lastly, my main love languages that I use are physical affection (I'm touch starved as hell), quality time and gift giving (basically anything besides words of affirmation, I'm shitty at that).

Thank you in advance! :)

heyyy! i was gonna do charlie for you but then i remembered you said you wanted a male character, so if you ask, you shall receive!! anyway, here’s my pick for you…

Lucifer !!

He was the closest to what I had in mind originally, so sh haha

Lucifer loves your goth style, he thinks it matches your sarcastic and rational attitude lol

Also on that note, he thinks your style is actually so sexy, in general your kinda just his mommy haha

Luci loves spending time with you, whether your cuddling, talking while he works on ducks, or spending time at the hotel, it’s the kinda thing he’ll think about and smile for hours at a time <3

He’s a bit awkward with you at first, and when you call him out on it, he kinda just panics internally and literally stops functioning as a human being XD

You most likely sketch his ideas for ducks (like blueprints kinda) and he puts them into motion, whether he suggested that to you or not is up to you for interpretation XD

[rachellaurengray]

Secrets We Don’t Tell Men

Relationships can be a complex dance of communication, emotions, and unspoken expectations. Sometimes, what we don’t say speaks louder than the words we do. In this article, I’m peeling back the curtain on 15 secrets we often keep in relationships. Whether you're looking to deepen your connection or simply understand the inner workings of our minds a little better, these insights are sure to give you a fresh perspective.

15 Secrets We Keep from Men: What You Don’t Know Could Change Everything

1. Social Media Stalking

Before we ever meet up, we’ve likely done a deep dive into your social media profiles. We’re not just looking at your latest posts—we’re checking out your likes, comments, and yes, even your exes. Why? Because it gives us insight into who you are and what you value. But don’t worry, we won’t admit to this level of sleuthing.

2. Silent Expectations

We all have them—unspoken rules and expectations that we hope you’ll pick up on without us having to say a word. From how you should act on a date to what we want in the relationship, these silent cues are our way of testing your ability to understand and meet our needs.

3. Mind-Reading Tests

After a deep conversation, we often replay it in our minds, dissecting every word and tone. We’re not just listening to what you said; we’re analyzing what you meant. This silent analysis helps us decide where we stand in the relationship, and what your words really say about your feelings.

4. Confidence Tricks

When we show up looking effortlessly put together, know that it didn’t just happen by accident. We have secret confidence boosters—whether it’s a specific outfit, hairstyle, or makeup routine—that make us feel like we’re on top of the world. But we’ll let you think it’s all natural.

5. Occasional Insecurities

Even the most self-assured among us have our insecurities. Whether it’s about our appearance, our career, or something more personal, we often keep these doubts hidden to maintain a strong front. If you catch a glimpse of our vulnerability, know that it’s rare and significant.

6. The Ex Comparison

No matter how much we like you, it’s hard not to compare you to our exes. We mentally weigh the pros and cons, considering how you measure up. But don’t worry—we keep these comparisons to ourselves, using them more as a way to gauge how much better this relationship is (or could be).

7. Strategic Vulnerability

We don’t always show our softer side right away. Vulnerability is something we reveal strategically, often when we feel safe and secure in the relationship. If we open up to you, it means we trust you deeply—so handle that trust with care.

8. Friend Filter

Our friends’ opinions of you are more influential than you might think. We value their input and often discuss our relationships with them before making any big decisions. But we may not always share just how much their approval (or disapproval) sways our feelings.

9. Unsaid Appreciation

We notice and appreciate the little things you do—whether it’s a thoughtful gesture or simply being there when we need you. However, we don’t always vocalize this appreciation, preferring to show it through our actions or a simple smile.

10. White Lies for Peace

To avoid unnecessary drama, we sometimes tell small white lies. Whether it’s about our mood, our plans, or our opinions, these little fibs are our way of keeping the peace and maintaining harmony in the relationship.

11. Memory of Details

We remember the small stuff—what you wore on our first date, the way you laughed at a joke, or a compliment you gave us months ago. These details matter to us, and we quietly store them away as part of our emotional memory bank.

12. The Fantasy File

We all have daydreams about ideal dates, romantic gestures, or what our future together might look like. These fantasies are usually kept private, serving as a way for us to imagine what could be—especially if we’re still figuring out where the relationship is headed.

13. Unvoiced Strengths

Sometimes we downplay our strengths, especially if we think they might make you feel less secure. Whether it’s our career success or personal accomplishments, we might not always highlight these achievements, preferring instead to keep the focus on the relationship.

14. Financial Independence Desires

While we appreciate when you treat us, many of us deeply value our financial independence. We often navigate this balance quietly, ensuring that we maintain our autonomy without disrupting the traditional gestures of romance.

15. Silent Treatment Clues

When we give you the silent treatment, there’s usually a reason—though we might not spell it out. It’s often our way of signaling that something’s wrong, giving you a chance to reflect and figure out what it might be. The silence is a test, but it’s also a chance for you to show how well you know us.

Understanding these secrets can offer you deeper insights into our thoughts, emotions, and the subtle dynamics that often go unspoken in relationships. Recognizing these unvoiced truths can strengthen your connection and help you navigate the complexities of love with more confidence and clarity.

[keithsandwich]

Consequences

Explicit

Pairing: Alter!Keith x OC (Maeve)

Word Count: ~1350

Warnings: Mentions of Violence (towards other people), Jealousy, Semi-public Sex, Teasing, Size Kink, Rough Sex.

Note: Written for the Kinktober event Visions of Temptation 2023, hosted by @xxsycamore .

Day 3 - Angry Sex

Thank you so much my horny angel @nightghoul381, for the idea and for proofreading ♡

Maeve had no idea of the effect her silent anger had on his body.

She wasn’t the type to get confrontational, but she couldn’t hide her fury either. Her face grew flushed, highlighting the freckles on her cheeks and contrasting nicely with her sharp green eyes. Nostrils flared, she bit her cheek and pulled her arm away when he tried to reach her. Keith’s senses were at their peak due to the adrenaline in his veins, and now they were all focused solely on her as she stormed out of the room.

All of it just because he had put a nobleman in his place.

Keith didn’t linger. His feet followed the fresh trail of her scent, leaving the beaten man on the floor and a troubled Liam to deal with it. He couldn’t care less. All that mattered was the way Maeve’s body now burned for him, whether it be love or hatred; he wanted to savor every one of her reactions to him.

Nah, he needed it.

She was on the balcony of her room when he found her, her back turned to him, her face up to the Full Moon above. It explained a lot, as her emotions typically ran high during such moons. His arms enveloped her small frame without ceremony, and although she gasped at his touch, Maeve stood still.

"Acting so cold when your body is boiling hot? You’re such a bad liar…" Keith murmured in her ear, and this time her body squirmed, so spontaneously and awkwardly he couldn’t help but smirk. She was visibly fighting the feelings stirring up inside of her; hands pushing him away as if she could avoid what his touches provoked within her.

She couldn’t.

"I’m not lying! I just don’t let my feelings get the best of me."

Keith watched her walk toward the balustrade to gain some distance before finally turning to look at him, eyes livid. The small pout on her lips that made them look like some kind of luscious fruit made it hard for him not to devour her right there and then.

"You should try that too, you know?" Maeve said with her soft defiance, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"And let that scum get all handsy with you?" Keith got closer and placed his hands on the balustrade behind her, entrapping Maeve between him and the railing before she could even open her mouth to protest. The memory of the nobleman’s hand getting closer and closer to her back without her even realizing it infuriated him all over again. Because of her origins, some nobles didn’t recognize her as who she was — future princess consort, not some disposable mistress. And his fame as a failure that still persisted among few of them didn’t help. So she could bet he would knock out anyone who dared disrespect her until they all learned their lesson. She belonged to him, and to the other Keith, who wouldn't be quiet in his place either. Being loved by both of them only doubled her value. No one else would touch her. "Hell, no…" he growled.

"I’m not helpless!" Maeve looked right into his eyes, resolute. "I wouldn’t have let him–"

"And yet he was about to," Keith interrupted her, feeling the warm puff of her breath against his face as she sighed deeply. "Ya gotta be more cautious. There are many men out there ready to prey on a little bird like yourself."

"As you are right now?" Again that defiance, tart, and still so sweet… Like a red cherry. He could definitely stick his tongue into her tender little mouth and relish that flavor.

He chuckled. As if to prove Maeve right, Keith pressed her body against the balustrade, aware that his erection would be fully felt on her belly. "Being all sassy like this, ya need some punishment, don't ya think?"

Maeve didn't have a comeback to that. Her heavy eyelashes started to droop, taking away the beautiful sight of those obstinate, captivating eyes from him. But Keith wouldn't accept that. His hand grabbed her chin, and their eyes met again, tension building by the second until something snapped. Enough was enough, and he had had more than enough.

His tongue filled her mouth in an urgent, rough kiss. Maeve rested her hands against his chest, applying a slight pressure that vanished completely as she started responding to the kiss, much softer than she seemed to be just moments ago.

Because no matter how hard and sour her exterior could get, Maeve would always be tender and sweet inside.

Keith groaned. The blood rushing through his body only increased the adrenaline more and more, nourishing his excitement and yearning to have her.

Now.

Maeve held her breath when he suddenly turned and bent her over, and pinned her hands on the balustrade, biting her neck without a care about her fragrant hair covering it. It was his way to let her know he needed her to stay exactly like this, and the shiver running down her back was a sign that her body understood it. "Here?" She whispered the question under her breath, and Keith's answer was to pull up her skirts and reach for her drenched little pussy, freeing it from her panties.

Here. Definitely.

"Tell me you're mine," he demanded, unbuttoning his pants as fast as he could. The same hand that touched her juices now smeared his precum all over the tip of his cock before positioning it against her entrance. She was so wet it would be easy to slip in, but Keith refrained himself from going further, no matter how hard he was throbbing in his hand.

He leaned over, his other hand now moving her hair from her ear so he could whisper, "Maeve, I need ya to tell me that you're mine." In his desperation, he let his shaft slide just a few inches inside her, enough to hit a sensitive spot, causing her to moan loud and immediately cover her mouth with her fingers, surprised by the unexpected wave of pleasure. Far from satisfying him, however.

Keith took her wrist to pin her hand down again before pulling her nearer by her neck. Green eyes glanced up at his, fearless, but teary. He moved ever so slightly inside her, and watched with a smirk while Maeve bit her lips to try to prevent her lustful sounds. "Why can't ya be a good girl and tell me already, huh?"

"You're not being… a good boy yourself, are you?" She murmured with difficulty, but still so rebellious and he laughed throatily. So bold of her to tease him like this as if there would be no consequences. Or, perhaps, the consequences were what she desired the most.

This time, all of his length sinks in, stretching her walls mercilessly and moving without giving her time to get used to his size. Consequences were consequences. Keith grasped Maeve by the hips and pounded into her repeatedly, enjoying how she took him so well no matter how rough he was. He could feel her growing frenzy, her losing fight against the lewd sounds escaping her lips, and her back writhing in uneven breathing. Her legs trembled, getting so wobbly he had to tighten his grip to steady her.

All of those reactions rendered him unstoppable. Keith grunted, looking down to her rear bouncing back and forth against his groin as her pussy clenched harder and harder around his dick.

His precious doll, convulsing and dripping wet in pleasure for him.

His cherished little bird, singing out loud an ode to their passion under the moon.

His princess. His love.

His.

Keith felt his body losing control as his cock twitched and released his seed deep inside her. He held her, squeezed Maeve in his arms, almost clumsily. He needed to share that moment, that high and slow descending in loud gasps and lingering shuddering.

"Aren't ya mine now, silly girl?" He whispered in her ear, placing a soft kiss on it.

Maeve chuckled, lightly and briefly as a gentle night breeze.

"I'm always yours."

[youremyheaven]

Heaven, I need some advice: how do I get rid of the guilt of men paying for me

I want my man to feel masculine and a leader (and I want to be spoiled ☺️🥰), but I also want to be treated as an equal in the relationship and contribute in some way, bc otherwise I feel like crap 😭😭

I’d like your input bc I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I’ve made in my past relationships

Mhhmmm

Why do men want to date women? To have sex with them of course

I'm not saying no man will ever be interested in you as a person yada yada yada but unlike women who fall for a guy's personality and then grow to find him attractive , men are more shallow and visual creatures. They only make an effort to get to know you if they find you attractive. Regardless of whether or not he sees a future with you, the point is, he's taking you out because he's attracted to you (attraction= wanting to have sex with them, just to simplify things for anyone reading lmao)

Now, women in society are valued for their sex appeal whether we acknowledge it or not. Prostitution is the world's oldest profession for a reason. How society aka the patriarchy treats women who aren't "attractive" (curvy enough but slim enough, young or attractively old enough, modest but still nasty, simple BUT hot) is very 🤢🤢🤮🤮

All of this is to say that as a woman, attractiveness is your capital. Use that efficiently.

Now, do not get me wrong. Being attractive ≠ being treated right ALL the time. It just doesn't work that way.

Taking advantage of your beauty and/or monetising it ≠ being equal to men or enjoying the same social privileges as them.

HOWEVER, the mindset you need to have is: He's just a guy who's trying to impress me to perhaps get me to sleep with him and/or have a relationship with me. Either way, HE needs it more than I do because men are lonely creatures by nature. So if HE needs you so bad, then why would you not sit back and let him pay for things which is THE least he could do?

Because what else do you get out of this arrangement? Someone who may or may not text/call you, spend quality time with you or ever be reliable? He better pay up if he wants me to sit there for 2 hours and spend my time with him lol 🤣

Everytime I hear girls go like 😩😩 he's such a gentleman 😩😩he opened the door and pulled out the chair for me 😍😍 I have to laugh. That's BARE MINIMUM, idk what barn animals y'all are dating but that's literally the LEAST any man can do. I went out last week with a guy and I was on his rooftop by the pool and had taken my shoes off and when I had to put it back on, he did it for me and neither of us were like 😍😩😍 because that's literally so basic. I did think it was sweet but like that's how men SHOULD treat you, tf

Normalise a man taking care of you. Driving you, picking you up, dropping you off, paying for you, holding doors open for you, holding your hand when climbing stairs, giving you their jacket, giving you napkins, putting you first, making sure y'all are doing what YOU want to do, surprising you with gifts, helping you etc

Y'all don't expect anything from the men you date and then complain about them being assholes. Like???

Just to be clear, a man can do all of these things and STILL be an asshole because that's how men are. But the ones I date know for a fact that they couldn't even touch my pinky nail without bending over backwards proving themselves to me. And I just think that's how it SHOULD be. Bc otherwise what am I even doing with them??? Like what am I getting out of this?? Texts?? Voice notes??? Lol (and the texts and calls better be full of praise and meaningful stuff too 😌🤌)

You won't feel guilty once you start thinking of this as what men owe you.

I shudder to even think of spending my time with a guy who will split the bill with me and text me when he's horny like 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

A date isn't about equality. It's about a man proving his worth to you. So give him the opportunity to do so. Having a girlfriend or seeing a woman is a bigger status symbol for them than having a partner is for us. Being perceived as single is "better" for women but being perceived as taken is better for a man. (😍 Patriarchy 🤌)

Men always treat unavailable women better than the ones who are constantly available.

You text him all the time, split the bill with him, try to make things easier for him etc and he'll subconsciously resent you for it. Yk those self help books that talk about why men love bitches??? Yeah same logic

Be aloof, be uncaring to some extent and just treat money as one of the things HE brings to the table because YOU ARE THE TABLE.

I've seen the same men treat different women differently. Even in college, I'd have the most nonchalant dgaf about anything guys help me out, carry my bags, fix things for me etc. there are perhaps many factors at play but an important factor is that I allow myself to be helped and that makes the men around me feel masculine.

Like I don't think it's beneath me to ask a man (a man I know, not just a guy I'm dating) for favours or help. OBVIOUSLY I would never put myself in a position where I NEEDED him or was DEPENDENT on him because ewww 🤢🤮🤢 but just small things that I could do on my own but don't want to 😌 it'll make him feel like a champion to have solved my problem for me and boost his ego whereas I've consciously orchestrated the whole thing 😈

I'd say the key is to kind of deliberately be a babygirl 🥺 don't be so clueless, naive and annoying that you're constantly needy BUT don't be such an independent girlboss that people don't find your energy welcoming or wholesome. Even just socially, people like helping others and like being with people who make them feel "needed" somehow. A lot of friendships and non-romantic associations suffer because there's too much independence and nobody makes the other person feel valued.

One time I went with my friend to buy her a pair of platform heels. Nobody at the shoe store paid her any kind of attention and she had to ask them repeatedly for her size and was kept up by them. It came down to two pairs and the lady kept emphasizing the price like "this is 1.6k 🙄🙄" and my friend bought that pair just out of spite bc that lady thought she couldn't afford it (it was really cute and worth it tho) but it was such an eye opening experience for me because I had never seen anything like it before 😳 I will say that I probably seem kinda clueless and that could be the reason I'm always helped 🤔 but in truth, my friend had such girlboss energy (which I liked bc she always took care of me hehe) and nobody helped her bc she just went about business like she could do all of it on her own,,, people are always willing to help those who need help

You can get whatever you want by either having a very go getting baddie attitude 🥵🤌 or by being soft and gentle 🥺✨. Ideally a combination of the two will work wonders.

Don't be such a baddie that you make everybody around you feel unwanted and useless. But also don't be such a bbg that you're basically a doormat.

The key to being spoiled is believing you should be spoiled 😌

Hope your spoiled era is coming soon 🤌

Love,

Heaven

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/30

What am I feeling today?

Kinda frustrated and annoyed. There’s this guy and I want to lose feelings for him. I just don’t think anything could ever happen between us so for my sake and sanity I need to move on. But every time I think I’m fine, I see him again, and all the feelings come rushing back and it’s so frustrating! Anyways, I’m just feeling this way because I briefly saw him last night and then I dreamt about him and it brought back memories that I’m trying to put out of my mind because I just can’t take it anymore. I wish to be free of him.

Luke 14 NIV

(v. 3-5) “Jesus asked the Pharisees and experts in the law, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath or not?” But they remained silent. So taking hold of the man, he healed him and sent him on his way. Then he asked them, “If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?””

There’s not much to add to this other than it was kind of Jesus to heal on the Sabbath and tried to show how it would be similar to saving someone or something you love. You wouldn’t just let them suffer for another day but you would immediately try and rescue them!

(v. 11) “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.””

Jesús used the parable of a wedding before he said this. That if you are a guest, you wouldn’t take the place of honor (like bridesmaids) otherwise you’d be escorted and embarrassed. And if you take the lowest place, the host will bring you up and take you to a better spot. All in all, it’s to support his point right here. We should not value ourselves so much higher than we are because we’ll be humbled. Rather if we already humble ourselves, we will eventually be exalted.

(v. 13-14) “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.””

This applies to us now in who to love and care for. We should constantly be aware of the fact that there are people in need, people less fortunate than ourselves. It should be put on our hearts to care for them, to offer what we have, because we’re all human at the end of the day. Our lives are not more valuable than theirs.

(v. 26-27) ““If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”

This verse does not actually mean that we should hate our family or ourselves (we need to love them and us!). But instead, our love for Jesus should be far, far greater! Our love for Jesus should be so evident that all our other relationships appear as hate because of how great our love is for Jesus. Also, as disciples, we all need to deny ourselves and carry our cross daily!

(v. 28-33) ““Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.”

This scripture goes over what it’s like to count the cost of being a disciple. Before you become a Christian, you have to see whether you can be. Are you willing to commit the rest of your life to Christ? Are you willing to keep his commands every single day? Will you preach the word and evangelize? fulfilling the great commission because that’s what all his disciples are called to do, not just the ministry? there’s a lot you need to consider and if you’re not willing to give it all up for Christ, you can’t be his disciple, he says so himself.

[vacantgodling]

personally bothers me when ppl are like uwu Iago is gay for othello and completely ignore his racism let alone the racism throughout the play

lmao thank u for stopping by to talk old books with me :3c

but tbh thank god i’ve never seen this take in the wild because i just 👁️👁️ did we read the same play? are you okay??

iago’s like not even subtly racist. like the whole play is very racist in general when you start deconstructing it and thinking about it with a critical lens.

(such as: black/dark skinned men are going to come around and seduce your pure white daughters with either “magic” or their physicality, abuse them, black men are inherently violent and angry and good for their physical prowess, the only reason a white woman would love a black man is because she pities him… like i can go on)

however, aside from desdemona’s father, iago is the Most and honestly only maliciously racist character, and it’s not even just towards othello lmao (looking at his speech about how a black woman who’s smart would only be of value if she married a white man 😒) like, i understand the ideology behind wanting to read homoerotic jealousy into his actions because why is he so fixated and jealous of this (1) man who has “everything he wants” and tbh perhaps it could work if the play itself wasn’t saying, in part, that othello cannot be trusted with the things he was “freely given” stolen because he’s black/dark skinned/from the Moors, however ya wanna put it.

like it’s easier to read homoeroticism into fucking julius caesar (the play, and i suppose the man) than this play. in hamlet, CLEARLY, than this one. and then it creates a whole host of other issues with the play IF iago is gay because then *insert a slew of homophobic stereotypes here*

however, what gets me is the play already does give reasoning behind iago’s actions. like as i was reading wiki and analyses of it after i finished my first pass of it, there seems to be a lot of “discourse” around iago’s motivations and how they’re not clear… but they are? at least to me? like, he’s egotistical, and big for his britches. he’s petty and jealous and feels that he deserves things simply because he wants them. he wants the lieutenant position because he feels he’s owed it for being done the disservice of having to serve a Moor in the first place and for being a tenured soldier for so long; and whether or not cassio is competent are neither here nor there, the point is if you get passed up for a promotion at work: work harder, accept it, or just fucking quit. but iago decided to make it everyone else’s problem. it really didn’t have much to do with desdemona herself (though i could argue that he was perhaps jealous that othello had a pretty wife who actually loved him; because even though i mentioned the racist sentiments about white women and black men earlier i don’t think desdemona is a racist character in the slightest: she fell in love with othello for who he is and she is faithfully in love with him to the end. that doesn’t change the outside perspective of those who see their interracial relationship, which is very translatable into real life in how interracial relationships are viewed but that’s a whole different conversation), nor do i think did it have to do with this weird homoerotic tension people want to force into the reading.

whenever iago says that he ‘loves’ othello, people should understand that in this time period the word “love” was (1) more freely used to describe a wide variety of positive emotions (2) in this context probably meant something more akin to “loyal” that he wouldn’t betray othello or that he values him as a subordinate should (which is clearly sarcasm) and (3) be read with heavy damn sarcasm especially when iago is not talking directly to othello. he doesn’t care about othello in the slightest; and i would argue that even if iago was made lieutenant from jump he would be scheming about how to become general. we would still have a play about how iago hates and wants to “dethrone” othello. like he’s just fucking selfish in how he treats everyone throughout the play lmao. he doesn’t even describe othello in a “i hate that i yearn for you” type of way like there is Nothing that can construct this narrative to me in the text.

so like long story short (i didn’t mean to rant but yknow ya got me going) i think a homoerotic reading of iago is just kind of out there at best and just irresponsible at worst. there’s plenty of other characters you can read as gay in shakespeare’s works, even fucking desdemona and emilia in this play itself have a better gay reading than iago and othello lmao.

obviously shippers gonna ship and like do you but i just don’t see it.

[hankwritten]

A Tavern Named Keep [2/6]

Demoman-centric Modern AU

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

In a small uni-town in New Mexico, DeGroot Keep serves liquor and succor to an eclectic yet loyal group of patrons, and has for many years. The Keep owes its success to its equally colorful owner, who always seems to know what you need—whether that be a stiff beer or a word of advice. But, between setting up his patrons or sifting through his friends’ problems, will Tavish remember to take care of himself?

“I think it’s about time we put our heads together on this, lads,” Tavish says lowly to the three men before him, cleaning out a glass as casually as he can.

Jane, who has no concept of an inside voice and would attempt to fistfight the word ‘discretion’ if given the opportunity, replies, “PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER FOR WHAT, MAGGOT?”

“For something discreet, Jane. You know, a secret mission?” Tavish says, trying to urge the ranger back into a state that isn’t turning every head at the bar, including the two people he’d been watching very intently before fielding the suggestion. “I think it’s time we all did something about Doc ‘n Mikhail.”

“Yes, I see,” Jane ruminates, thankfully lowering his voice down to his own personal version of a whisper. (Still above speaking volume, but Tavish will take what he can get.) “It is about time we ‘did something’ about the Kraut and the Ruskie, so that they are ‘taken care of’, and ‘the operation can proceed smoothly’.”

“I’m really starting to regret teaching him air quotes,” Jeremy says, one elbow on the bar and the other tilting back his beer.

“If you really need someone taken care of, I’ve got some pretty good rates,” Mick offers.

Jeremy eyes him, suddenly dubious. “…What exactly you doing for work in Teufort again?”

“That’s between me ‘n the blokes that pay me.”

“I really should not have to clarify this, but I did not mean having them killed.” Tavish sets down his glass and leans on the bar. “I mean do something about the two of them. Y’know. Together.”

“Together.” Jeremy’s mouth is a flat line.

“Yes, together together. I mean, just look at ‘em!”

Near the admittance to the auxiliary room (which due to being half a floor below the rest of the bar and grotesquely dominated by the Elephant, is almost never used except on particularly busy nights and when Tavish rents the Keep out for events), the pair of doctors are deaf to the world. It's an amazing sight: Ludwig not the least bit twitchy, not shuffling papers in his hands, not occupied with some experiment. He’s wholly enraptured by whatever Mikhail is saying, watching the way his mouth moves as he gestures one giant hand through the air with ease. A casual acquaintance of Ludwig’s would be flabbergasted to see him interrupt not once during the entire winding conversation, to value the words of another person so highly. When Mikhail says something amusing, Ludwig laughs uproariously, and there’s the barest twinge on the Russian’s face that lets one know he’s pleased about it.

Jeremy turns back to Tavish. “I don’t know man. Doc and the Professor? Kinda a zebras and horses thing there.”

“A wot?” Mick asks.

“A uh…cats and dogs living together you know? Or maybe like pigeons and really bad tempered grizzly bears living together.”

“The nurse keeps doves, not pigeons,” Soldier declares ever so helpfully, slamming his fist down. “Pigeons are a noble species, who risk life and wing to carry messages between their fellow combatants, driving themselves to extinction out of pure patriotism! I will not have you confusing them for that man’s glorified pillow stuffers.”

“Pretty sure they’re the same species,” Mick says.

“Lads,” Tavish stresses. “Can we focus?”

“About them having the hots for each other?” Jeremy looks over his shoulder again. “Really?”

“Dunno,” Mick muses. “I can see it.”

“What do you know, you’ve only been here two weeks.”

“They give each other longing looks sometimes. Oi! Like that!”

Ludwig has reached behind him, taking a beer off the seashell-inlaid standing table. As he takes a sip, Mikhail’s mask of attentiveness slips just for a moment, and he stares at his friend while the other man is distracted. It’s an utterly at peace expression, like nothing in the world quite matters the way they do.

“That was definitely a longing look,” Mick states triumphantly. Tavish gestures at him in vindication.

Jane squints. “…Are they not already dating?”

“Uhg,” Jeremy scoffs. “Fine, I’m out-freaking-voted. But that doesn’t mean it’s our job to get them together.”

“Oh come on, they’ve been dancing around each other for ages,” Tavish protests. “At the very least do it for your own sanity, if it’ll stop them making moon eyes at each other.”

“Ages?” Mick raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t Doc just get divorced?”

“Aye, but they’ve been separated for four years now. And if I’m being honest, I think he’s been in love with Mikhail for at least three of those.”

“Scout’s point still stands!” Jane says. “If they cannot tell each other how they feel then that is their own failing.”

“Oh c’mon Doe.” Tavish leans over the bar, gently nudging his friend in the side. “This is for the sake of true love. Don’t tell me there’s a more noble, patriotic cause than that.”

The omnipresent, wide-brimmed hat that’s already covering a good portion of Jane’s eyes is pulled even farther down his face. “Hrmm. Fine. You make a good point. Consider me drafted into your inane scheme.”

“Like you don’t love an inane scheme.”

“So we’re just skipping from longing looks to straight up ‘true love’?” Jeremy asks. “Y’know what, I don’t care, shenanigans or whatever. Just promise me this won’t take too long, Pyro has this gay-ass club thing that they want us to go to tonight.”

“A gay club?” Tavish more betrayed than surprised, though there’s certainly that too. “You’re stepping out on the Keep, boyo?”

“No! Not like a clubbing club, like a school club. Mumbles is like, vice chair or something, and I’m supposed to be there for support.”

“So it’s…what?” Mick asks. “A GSA?”

Jeremy's oncoming distress plays acutely across his face. “Aw man, c’mon there’s already so many letters, I can’t memorize any more.”

“GSA?” Jane rubs his chin. “Goose Savant Academy? Generous Squid Association? Gyration Saves America?”

“You’ll get to your club just fine, Scout,” Tavish assures. “This shouldn’t take long after all, they’re practically making out with their eyes whenever they look at each other. All they need is a little nudge.”

With his kill squad assembled (to ‘kill’ the awkwardness that has haunted DeGroot Keep for nearly half a decade, that is), Tavish shuffles behind the bar and pulls out an assortment of utensils, spare stock in case the usual table-fare runs out, but now being put to good use. He puts a ketchup bottle on one side and a mustard on the other, then splits up the silverware into pairs of two.

“Mundy and I will talk to Mikhail, try to get him see reason. Scout ‘n Jane, you handle Ludwig. I have a feeling he hasn’t even admitted to himself yet, so what you have to do is persuade him there’s a get-together tonight at the Keep. When we convince them both to show, we all amscray, and force them to face their newly realized feelings for each other. Eh? What do you think?”

“Why’re Misha and Doc matching things but the four ‘a us are a knife, a fork, a spoon, and a pepper shaker?” Jeremy swirls his finger at the assembled objects.

“Well there isn’t a fourth silverware, now is there?”

“Spork,” Jane, Mick, and Jeremy all say at once.

“Screw the lot of you,” Tavish says. “Are you in or no?”

“Eh, why not.”

“Fine. Sure.”

“Affirmative!”

“Fantastic! Mundy, let’s go try to pin Mikhail before he heads to his next class.”

“Godspeed soldiers,” Jane salutes as the bartender slides out. “Do your duty, and should you fail, make sure your end is glorious! Preferably also bloody: such as detonating a hand grenade and taking out several doves with you, bringing them along to the cold, unforgiving grave. I want this to be a closed casket twenty-one gun salute, maggots!”

Tavish smiles. No matter his penchant for getting things off track, Tavish finds it hard to stay mad at Jane. “Aye aye, sir.”

As the pairs split, Jeremy and Jane breaking away to pursue Ludwig out the Keep’s front door, Mick watches them depart thoughtfully. “He wasn’t really in the army, was he?”

“That’s his business, and I wouldn’t dishonor him by talking behind his back,” Tavish says firmly. “Though, do yourself a favor and don’t ask which wars he’s fought in. You’ll catch a headache, right then and there.”

“Fine,” Mick holds up his hands in surrender. “Won’t hear a word from me. Though that’s not a military uniform in the first place, is it?”

“The one he always wears? Nah. For all the things Jane may or may not be, he is employed by the forestry service. He’s a park ranger up at Valles Caldera Preserve.”

“Really. Huh. Where’d you even find a bloke like him?”

“It was more like he found me.” Tavish rubs his neck. “It’s…complicated. But we’ve got a mission to do, so why don’t we stay focused, eh?”

It’s apparent Mick’s noticed the obvious change in subject, but thankfully he doesn’t press it this time around. And a good thing too, Mikhail is slipping books into a satchel that looks like it’s straight out of a 1950s boarding school novel, complete with a brass button he closes with a satisfying snap.

“Oi, wait a moment there professor,” Tavish says. “Wanted to chat with you before you headed out for the morning. You ‘n Mundy here never got properly introduced.”

“Were introduced,” Mikhail grumbles, knocked out of a morning routine that is all but sacred to him. He wakes up, he buys coffee and a sticky bun from the shop down the street, he brings it to the bar (which Tavish allows because. C’mon. You try telling Mikhail “Heavy” Zakharov he’s not allowed to bring carry-ins) and then he converses with Dr. Ludwig until it’s time to head for TFU. To be broken from this lockstep onsets a bad mood. “Mikhail gives his name. Is all you need to know.”

“Oh there’s more to you than that big guy.” Tavish pats him on the arm, which comes up to about the bartender’s head. “I think Mick’s proving himself to be a decent fellow to have around, aye? You don’t have to avoid him.”

“Mikhail does not avoid,” Mikhail says, clearly avoiding Mick’s eyes.

The Australian, uncomfortable with his whole place in this charade, gives Tavish a look of where the bloody hell is this going?

Just stick with me, Tavish’s own look shoots back. To Mikhail he says, “c’mon lad, open up a little. Why don’t you tell us both how you got your teaching job, eh? That’s a nice little ice breaker.”

Mikhail eyes him as though, somewhere, deep in the animal part of his brain that lets us all know that someone is trying to scam us out of our portion of the kill, that this is about to lead somewhere he would not like. However, proving that is going to be difficult with how earnestly Tavish is looking at him.

He sighs. “Fine. Mikhail tells.” To Mick he says, “in Teufort. There is university. Mikhail is tired of looking for many jobs in many places, so he walks in and says ‘you will give me this’. Hale says he likes Mikhail’s gumption.” A rumble that might be a slightly mellowing laugh washes from the back of his throat. “Tried to fire Mikhail once, and Mikhail tells him that is good office, is good job. If he wants Mikhail gone, will have to remove him. Tried to. Mikhail won. Hale amused by this.” Mikhail thinks on this a moment. “Hale is strange man.”

“…What do you teach?” Mick asks, as customarily perplexed as people are when they find out Mikhail earned tenure by winning a wrestling match with his dean.

“Eighteenth to Modern Russian Literature,” Mikhail replies.

“They offer that? At Teufort? I’m pretty sure they don’t even offer calculus.”

“Do now. When Mikhail demand job, he say, ‘you will have this, and Mikhail will teach’. So class is taught. Not big surprise.”

“Ah mate,” Tavish butts in, vibrating from the anticipation of the undirected tale. “You skipped the best part! After all, how’s a bright lad like you end up in a place like this? You could’ve gone anywhere, but you stayed in Teufort.”

Discomfort rises in Mikhail’s shoulders once again. “Like said. Was tired of looking.”

“Oh dunnae try to pull that on me,” Tavish says. “Before you were busting down Hale’s office door, you strolled into this town on a whim. When you wandered into my bar, you said you were just passing through, and it was only a few drinks in before you were in love.”

The empty coffee cup just about shoots out of Mikhail’s hand as he jerks, squeezing it like a Bug Out Bob. “W-what? What is little man talking about?”

“With the Keep!” Tavish says proudly, both superficially oblivious and acutely aware of Mikhail’s reaction. “The tavern’s an alluring mistress, I can understand how she convinced a wayward traveler to stay, even when he had better prospects elsewhere. Even I’m a bit in love with her.”

Tavish pats a nearby support beam proudly, so covered in years of black paint it’s gone smooth.

“…Da. Keep is good place.” The awkwardness is practically sweltering. “Maybe...was part of staying.”

“I still remember that day you know,” Tavish grasps the distant memory with his eye turned heavenward, in a rigorous performance of reverie that Mick can’t help but think he’s laying it on a little thick. “So shy you were, ‘t was almost funny. Doc didn’t notice though. Just struck up a conversation with you right away, the two of you chatting away for hours over in the lower bar area.”

“Everyone is equally ‘shy’ to Doktor,” Mikhail admits. “He talks, expects people to listen.”

“Ah, but good company is the keystone of the Keep’s charm,” Tavish says. “After all, it takes a truly special place to make a man give up the hunt and decide this backwater town is worth sticking around for.”

Mikhail opens his mouth, hesitates, then closes it again. “Da.”

“Ah, but you have to get to morning classes. Sorry we kept you so long professor. Glad you ‘n Mick got more acquainted.”

With that, Tavish wraps a firm hand around Mick’s upper arm and frog-marches him away from the slightly bewildered Russian. You can practically see the gears turning in the man’s head, his flimsy paper cup now a crumple in his palm as his concentration is elsewhere. As the pair watch discreetly over their shoulders, Mikhail shakes himself, quickly disposes of his breakfast remains, and flees.

“That’s it?” Mick asks. “I thought we were going to confront him about confessing his feelings or something.”

“That’ll be enough,” Tavish assures, still watching the door. “Mikhail’s a smart man. And the thing about smart men is that once they get something into their head, they think on it until it drives them crazy, like a mutt with a chew toy. He’ll be back.”

“D’ya not consider yourself a smart man?”

“Goodness no! I, lad, am a worldly man, much more practical. I’ll give you this advice: never date a man who’s insane enough to go back for an advanced degree.”

“I don’t really date.”

“Ah, then maybe you’re wiser than all of us.”

“Still not so sure that’s going to get him to do anything,” Mick says. “It honestly sounded like you were negging him.”

“Trust me on this, alright?” The chiming of the bell brings Tavish to the reality that there are still many pressing concerns to be handled before tonight. “And while you’re trusting me, excuse me as well. My Most Valued Customer just walked in.”

She is not, by most definitions of the word, the customer Tavish values most, but it’s an indubitably good idea to treat her like she is. Helen steps cleanly over to the bar, placing herself upon a stool with just barely enough time for Tavish to slip into his usual position himself. They arrange themselves to their spots, like actors before the curtain rises.

“Miss Helen,” he greets studiously.

“Mister DeGroot,” she sniffs coolly back. “Gin on the rocks, if you would.”

“Daring today, aren’t we?”

“I pay for you to serve me drinks, DeGroot, not for your glib tongue.”

“The glibness is free o’ charge.” With a flourish, he finishes pouring her usual, sliding it away to be snatched by a well-manicured claw. He sets about to business with, “your star employee fell asleep at me bar again yesterday.”

“I am unsurprised. She once told me that she finds mattresses overly soft, and that they must be ‘up to something’.”

“Is that something getting people to sleep?”

“I assume so. Miss Pauling is not fond of the activity.”

“She might not have such anxiety about falling asleep if her boss wasn’t putting the load of ten assistants on her,” Tavish says. “Cannae ye lay off the girl, just a tad? You know she’d jump off a cliff if you told her to.”

“If I did, it would be for good reason.” Helen’s already quite narrow face sharpens to a point keen enough to draw blood. “Miss Pauling is aware of our duty, and what is at stake if we fail. The Facility must persevere, even as we burn ourselves out to keep it alight.”

An eye roll seems the least that spiel deserves. The Facility, in the Proper Noun of it all, is mostly known around Teufort as TF, in reverance to its complete inscrutability of purpose. Helen likes it that way. She’s very gloat-y when she knows something you don’t.

“Don’t start torching all your employees in the street, lassie,” he says dourly. “Think of the smell.”

“We must all make sacrifices, DeGroot.” And oh boy, here we go. “I, more than anyone. There are games that are played, behind the scenes, above the clouds, games of power and money that you cannot even fathom the rules of, and it is our job that you never have to. It may not be moral, or right, but it is necessary, and you should thank Miss Pauling for what she does so that you all can keep living your pitiful little lives.”

“Pitiful little lives?” Tavish raises a brow. “The kind where one has a gin on the rocks at eleven in the morning?”

Helen purses her lips at him. He refills her glass.

“Pretend all you like, you’re just as mortal as the rest of us,” he goes on. “Pauling too. She thinks the world of you, you know.”

“I treasure her for her loyalty.”

“I mean on a personal level, Helen,” Tavish says. “Whatever goes on in The Facility I won’t hazard to know, but Pauling believes in it because you do. Just make sure her devotion isn’t misplaced, aye? That’s all I ask.”

Helen doesn’t respond, but nor does she go off on another dismissive rant about the unwashed masses or whatever, so Tavish will take this as a win. Another comes thirty minutes later when Jane returns and relates that Dr. Ludwig will ‘report for duty’ at nineteen hundred hours. There’s plenty of time but also plenty to do, and Tavish sets to work on making the best ‘get these sorry excuses for lovebirds together’ bash he can strangle a chicken about. Jane isn’t on duty today and keeps him company, a complimentary beer to thank him for his troubles while he moseyes on about how the true American way to confess your feelings is to do so while crossing the Chesapeake while your foot is raised majestically on the bow in total disregard for boat safety. Tavish tries to tell him that’s not what that painting is about, but he’s having none of it. The ambiance continues in comfortable companionship as Tavish pulls out all the stops: streamers, tiny umbrellas, everything he needs for when the Keep hosts a special event. By the time Ludwig comes through the door with the evening slithering on his heels, he is not the first patron to be struck by the tavern’s transformation.

“Why is everything so…moody?” he immediately asks of the new lighting.

“National Candle Appreciation Day,” Tavish says stoically. “Doe assures it’s a very important American holiday. I wouldn’t want to offend any ‘o my customers by not dressing her up for the occasion.”

It speaks volumes that Ludwig doesn’t immediately pounce on the bald-faced dishonesty of this, first and foremost the fact never has the holiday come up in all the other years Tavish has kept DeGroot Keep on its wheels. Ludwig merely shakes his head, as though clearing his ears of buzzing jingoistic bees, and takes a seat at the bar. Whatever Jane and Jeremy said to him must have taken a real number. He’s practically jittery as Tavish mixes a few teaspoons of honey into his drink, not noticing what’s right in front of him.

“For courage,” Tavish says as he sets it forward.

“Courage?” Ludwig gapes at it, then lifts his eyes to his bartender. His mind calls back to his mysterious encounter earlier today, and for the first time wonders who could have put those two idiots up to it. “Are you-?”

Whatever threads of suspicion he was about to pull on will go uninvestigated, as the moment is heralded by Mikhail banging open the door. Ludwig turns, the silhouette of the Russian glowing slightly as a light rain follows him inside, the sunset setting the backdrop afire. Mikhail is equally nervous, his eyes scanning the bar for whom Tavish could reasonably guess.

“Gott,” Ludwig gulps. He swings around, downs his drink with several fearsome chugs, then rises while wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“Doktor,” Mikhail says, locating where the doctor has been milking that courage to the best of his abilities, like the bartender has the key to salvation. “I have been looking for-”

“Misha there is something I need to talk to y-”

They both cut off abruptly.

“Doktor can say what he wants to say.”

“No, no you can go first I just-”

“Something Mikhail should have said long time ago-”

Sputtering into silence once more, Tavish looks on and summarizes that he’s never seen two men more terrified of each other. They’re now hopelessly caught in a veritable web of indecision, candlelight flicking around them, once again unaware of anything else as they stand paralyzed by the full recognition of the thing that they’ve been unknowingly cultivating between for years.

“…Could I steal you away for a moment, my friend?” Ludwig says sheepishly, finally, blessedly breaking the awkward silence.

“Yes. Can…Yes. Is good idea.”

And they part from the bar, pulling aside down the half-stair for a long awaited conversation.

The rest of the revelry spins on. Some—like Tavish—spare a glance at the pair of old friends hashing out something clearly of import and leave them to their business. Others don’t notice at all so weirded out are they by the sudden change in décor. Pyro is in the second camp, wandering about like a Dalmatian puppy during its first snow. Jeremy is oddly disinclined, having shown up with Pyro and promptly slunk to a corner, an uncharacteristic glumness about him. Before Tavish can even wonder at that, Dell appears for the impromptu party.

“They’re getting along even better than usual,” Dell says as Tavish passes him a Blu Streak, indicating the two men forgotten by the revels. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say-”

With no grace, no planning, no care, Ludwig lunges upward and kisses Mikhail on the mouth.

“-Oh,” is all that comes from Dell’s mouth, (so apparently that’s what he’d say if he didn’t know any better.) “I guess…heh…I guess they’re really getting along then- oh.” His jaw works silently for a moment as the vigor of the kissing increases. “Oh. Really getting along…over……there.”

Tavish pops an elbow on the bar and puts a chin in his hand. “Ah, isn’t love wonderful?”

Dell’s face has gone completely red, but despite himself he can’t look away. Tavish does not have this problem, and when he’s satisfied with a job well done, he peels himself from the engineer and heads further down the bar to congratulate his fellow conspirators. However, Mick’s on a job tonight, and it appears Jeremy’s slipped out between now and the last time Tavish saw him. He’s checking around some of the tables near the restrooms when he feels a slap on the back.

“You did good work tonight, sergeant!” Jane greets him warmly.

“Thanks lad,” Tavish says as he pats the hand that’s moved to his shoulder.

To his surprise, it doesn’t leave. After a moment, where Jane’s brow is furrowed in concentration, he rumbles out, “no, I mean it. This was a good thing you did. You’ve made your comrades…very happy.”

Tavish locks eyes with him, what that he can with the brim of the ranger hat in the way.

“I do try,” he says slowly. “I’d do the same for everyone if I could. Barkeep’s job is to make sure you’re all as well off as you can be.”

There is a brief, indescribably odd second (that hours later Tavish will still not be sure how to describe and therefore will put out of his mind entirely) where Jane looks like he’ll say something different than what he does.

What he ends up with is this: “that is the spirit! Now! I recommend you return to your friends and bask in this glorious victory. And maybe also keep your chef from putting their fingers in the ambient lighting.”

“Aw shite.” Tavish turns to see Jane’s sizing of the situation is correct. “Really should have known that would happen.”

“You cannot be perfect Tavish. No one expects you to be.”

But Tavish is already rejoining his customers, taking Pyro’s hand out of the nearest candle and being regaled with various drink orders. Jane sighs. He goes to join him.

[taylortruther]

i think matty was too dismissive of people's concerns and he should really, truly apologize for all of the shitty, racist crap he said.

but at the same time, I think some of what he said is real. like all of us being so worked up online over one person is a bit ridiculous. representation matters and who we hold up in our society matters, but if we really don't like him and don't like taylor for dating him, then we as individuals should just move on, not give him/them our money, stop running our fan blogs, etc. writing pages and pages about someone online is something people do ultimately just to make themselves feel better and like they're a good person.

or, if you still want to be a taylor fan, we don't need to see your long, drawn out explanation for why that's ultimately still justifiable because x y and z. just say you are still supporting her without writing a whole explanation about why you're actually still a good person.

i generally agree with you. no comment on whether matty should have apologized better, really. i think he should've but i absolutely did NOT expect it and will not expect it in the future.

this reply got super long but it was inspired by conversations i've been having with some pals in dms and irl, and how the conversation has evolved (or not evolved) online. so i might be guilty of your last paragraph here and if i am being a holly stallcup right now, so be it!

but there are two things i personally believe about this situation:

a) matty has said and done gross things and now taylor is associating with him (to put it lightly), and people are struggling to cope with that. it's deeply unpleasant to know she wants to date this idiotic edgelord.

b) remaining a fan of taylor's music is truly not indicative of how you personally feel about the issues of racism, sexism, antisemitism, bigotry, and so on.

i think most of fandom on tumblr shares both of these feelings. however, it's a process. some people idolize taylor way and so the idea of giving her up, or changing their perspective/relationship with her, is REALLY hard. a lot of fans are just thinking out loud and processing in real-time, and i think that should be encouraged, because i believe acknowledging taylor's different political opinions or behaviors is critical to moving on to more productive political engagement. it's a good mental exercise, especially for people who are in the early stages of their social justice education.

on the other hand, i see a lot of in-fighting going on; there's been a lot of shaming of other fans, posts suggesting you are "bad fan" or "bad person" if you aren't loudly decrying taylor enough.

and the thing is, the real issue here is racism and bigotry and creating a more just society. a symptom of this issue is that matty, and men as a whole, make comments or jokes like this as a matter of course. why is that? how do we coexist with men who find violence against women, and especially women of color, joke-worthy? if, at the end of the day, we share the same larger political goal as matty, of wanting a better and more just world for everyone, then how do we make sense of his "jokes" in relation to his politics? is it possible you can have a deeply shitty view of x and y issues, and still care about justice in some form (ie, can men in the dirtbag left still add value to social justice movements)? and when we hold people accountable for those hurtful behaviors or words or beliefs, what are we expecting? is it reasonable? do we want education and forgiveness or do we want to exile people who fuck up? what level of fuck up requires exile and which require forgiveness? what are the pros and cons of each and how do those decisions get us to the overall end goal of creating a just world for everyone?

these are, imo, the real concerns. these are what we are trying to talk about when we talk about matty's racist comments. the real issue is not whether you still enjoy reblogging gifs of taylor or if you still want to go to her concert or if you still listen to her music. and unfortunately a lot of the well-meaning conversations people are having end up sounding like taylor is the biggest problem here.