#not paraphrasing

[the-siphonophore]

This woman is a bloodhound

My housemate smells my lunch from ACROSS THE HOUSE and texts me

"what are you eating?"

"Quesadilla..?"

"I think I'll make myself one, smells good, it smells good"

Like it's not that weird it just feels quietly deranged am I losing my mind??

[parasitoidism]

(fandombrained person trying to express their observation that a female character has more than one personality trait) she's like a girlboss but she's also a girlfailure sometimes

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[mohntilyet]

"for the chance to be by your side i would storm the black city itself. never doubt it" "let me make a promise to you here. i dream you will say yes" "tell me this ends with me asleep in your arms, and i will kill any god you ask" can we hear it for the antivans!!!!!!!! can we PLEASE hear it for the antivans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[princema-k]

arent u tired of being of being nice..... dont u wanna go Apeshitt

(quote in no.3 courtesy of tearay1073's comment on this vid)

[wszczebrzyszynie]

worst moment of the stream so far congratulations

[here-comes-the-moose]

Wrecker: We should send Echo. Everyone likes Echo.

Hunter: Not everyone.

Crosshair, loading his rifle: Who doesn’t like Echo? I want names and locations.

[benevolenterrancy]

I'm on chpt20 and I want to study SQQ like a bug. My man is flushed, hair down, robes literally falling off his shoulders, LBH on his lap playing with his hair and kissing him... and he finally cottons on to the fact that maybe this isn't how you have a platonic and important discussion. Enforces it for all of five seconds at which point LBH starts massaging his waist and SQQ is back to being like "yeah this is fine and normal". Amazing. Can't believe he insults the IQ of SQH's characters.

[tojisun]

saw this post before my ass accidentally refreshed the goddamn feed BUT BUT—

someone said her man would grunt in her ears and say something like, “c’mon baby, fuck me back.”

and when she says, “s’too big :((” her mans apparently replies with, “well, s’all yours so take it all.”

I SCREWCHED??? ITS SO KYLE IM GONNA CRY

[roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid]

coming home from the green day concert last night, i told my brother "you know, i respect billie joe a lot for keeping up with the culture. the guy's a family man in his fifty's, but he's still wearing eyeliner and jumping around on stage and writing songs about hating america and kissing boys. i really respect him for trying to keep punk faggot culture alive." and my brother was quiet for a second, then he said "i don't think i've ever heard someone use 'punk faggot' as a compliment before"

[revvethasmythh]

Dorian saying, "We live with the fear of death every day, but you get one taste of it and you want to abandon your family and run?" was cunty as hell, actually, and i love him

[tragedy-machine]

Cameo week highlights so far, payneland edition:

- if Edwin and Charles could choose their afterlife it would be each other

- puppy debacle of 06 was Charles bringing in a ghost puppy that turned out not to be a normal one (maybe a hell hound??)

- if they weren't detectives Edwin would go into smth editorial and Charles would go into fighting

- IF they went on a date, Charles would want to take Edwin to do smth outdoorsy that they don't usually do e.g. doing something sporty

- they would want to take the other on vacation to the Maldives and to Scotland (guess who chose which lol)

- Charles uses physical touch as reassurance, and feels reassured by Edwin's praise like "excellent job today, Charles", Edwin takes care of Charles by fixing up his clothes

- Charles likes how intelligent, competent and organized Edwin is, Edwin likes how protective and brave Charles is

[bubbarnes]

“... at the end of the trailer, I think I am a bit of both Bucky Barnes and The Winter Soldier, you know? maybe I don't kill them first.”

[lauriemarch]

and at the end of the day, people will still hate women.

because beyonce is a terrible songwriter who has a good body and nothing more and she's really nothing compared to olivia rodrigo, that stuck-up bitch who steals other people's music, but taylor swift is an old, bitter nothing who clearly hates other girls. and sabrina carpenter deserves to die because she followed her heart, not her brain, and that's exactly why zendaya will never be good enough for tom holland. don't forget about kylie jenner, who's stealing precious timothee's innocence away and dating her is like committing arthouse cinema suicide, or how we said the same thing about miley cyrus and her disgusting profanity, think of the children, poor liam hemsworth, trapped in a marriage with such a horrible woman. lana del rey was hot until she was big and she made trailerpark sexy until her ass got a little too fat. and ariana grande, talentless homewrecker, and selena gomez, jealous and unreasonable, and hailey bieber, even more boring than the blood drying on the knives you are so quick to pull. sophie turner is a bad mom and megan thee stallion deserved whatever was coming to her.

and amidst all of this, we still don't know these women. we cannot fathom the pain of having a public divorce, one where people choose sides and hurl insults at you until the battery on their phone dies. we don't watch them chase after sweet-cheeked children in tucked-away backyards or play board games with their best friends while their chests heave in laughter. we don't know their marriages and we don't know their solitudes. we don't watch them unravel themselves, time and time again, preparing for the battle that we have made of their lives. they can never make a mistake. they can never cry. they can never be who they believe themselves to be.

and we take all of this and we go to work, we ride the bus, we go grocery shopping, we walk in dappled sunlight, and we let ourselves shrivel. i compare myself to every body i see and i comfort in the fact that i can still encircle my wrists with my fingers. food turns to dust in my mouth when i think about the fact that taylor swift thinks she's fat and people still hate sabrina carpenter for sticking by joshua bassett's side when he almost died, for God's sake, and now the people on my twitter feed are saying GUTS is the worst album they've ever heard. i liked it, the tiny voice in my head cries out. she wrote songs that made me feel noticed. they're calling the song i relate to the most a total skip.

so i close the app. i try not to think about the endless profiles screaming about how much they hate a nineteen/thirty-two/thirty-eight/twenty-three/twenty-six/forty-two year old. i try not to think about how much they would hate me, if they knew anything at all.

[wisteriagoesvroom]

lando on sky rn.... "i didn't even expect to be in the championship"... the long and considered pause before answering... the visible relief...

"i don't think we [as a team] were ready, as much as we believed we were, but we weren't. but we started the season worse on the top 4 teams and we've ended being [one of??] the best teams. not a perfect year on my behalf, max drove too well. i'm looking forward to next year, being there from the beginning".

he has grown up so much

edited to add: someone uploaded the video

[altruistic-meme]

im still rolling on the floor about willes "no you're right is not that bad. except i lost the love of my life and got the school closed and probably killed my mom. but yeah Felice it's not THAT bad" speech. he's such a fucking drama queen.