#not only do i have a migraine
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>opens tumblr
>checks notifs one last time
>Shaw and Bright sloppily making out
#quillisms#not only do i have a migraine#but the lil people in my phone are sending psychic attacks my way#horrible !
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jericrew pj party
(totally not just an excuse to draw hc body refs post-revolution and rant in tags)
#hc all four carry scars from forearm blocking + explosives but only enough to slightly warp their plasticine coating#Markus still has his waist scar from falling into Jericho and Simon’s got a slight limp + soldered thigh wound from Stratford#also they all have bullet wound scars but mostly in their torsos and under their clothing#kinda unrelated but I also hc Markus w/ occasional heavy ‘migraine’ and him and Simon experience joint lockup#from biocomponent damage / compatibility issues as well as si’s nerves (wires??) fizzing in and out#basically they’re all extremely wounded but went the soldering route to save newly printed biocomponents for more critical androids in#Jericho#dbh north#dbh simon#dbh markus#dbh josh#dbh jericrew#detroit become human#artists on tumblr#ok rant over sorry I just love the idea of them wounded given what they do yknow
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I had a clear vision with this one.
I did NOT need to spend that much time on this BUT DAMN IT IT’S FUNNY-
Context: Peppino was annoying the fuck outta’ him and it got so bad he wanted to take him home.
He was done with his bullshit- 💀
#Pizza Tower#TW: Alcohol#I’m a LITTLE upset that the last panel only came out….okay#I don’t like how it looks- I COULD DO BETTER#But that was my third attempt at drawing it so I got tired AND I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP- 😭#But it’s okay. It’s not GREAT but it’s okay and I’d rather have it look okay than bad-#Anyways the idea of Peppino annoying the absolute FUCK out of Gustavo while drunk is too funny#I tested it today and yeah he snapped at me-#It was mostly cuz I was doing stupid shit and he couldn’t control me 😂#And then he drove me back home which was nice- and still funny#Gotta mention how much I love drawing Gustavo mad-#He’s an absolute sweetheart but I’m telling you- bend the straw too much you might just break it.#And he had a migraine so I made it worse- 💀#I love C.AI bro it’s a masterpiece ✨✨#Took me a bit but I had fun. And I like the first two panels they looks great#Peppino#Gustavo#Drunk#Art
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i harbor the will to draw today but not the energy
stupid host sketchies
#i feel so bluh today such a raging migraine#i wanted to do smth but i didnt even feel like cleaning these so like#you get it. i know you guys do.#im no stranger to sharing shitty sketches i just try to not have it be the only thing i share#i got bad about it a few years back#all those egg head sketches....#brambleramble#at least these ones have hair lmfao
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hii happy pride month, have a little 'you're a dog (i'm your man)' chapter four snippet as an apology for radio silence <33
“Did I wake you?” Gale asks, glancing at John apologetically, but John looks up from his effort to avoid muddy puddles to shake his head. Gale supposes it’s a silly question; John sleeps like a rock, dead to disturbances made by anything other than his own brain.
“Just my sixth sense,” John says, shrugging and shooting him a small smile. Gale snorts.
“You got a radar for me?” He teases, and John smiles wider, eyes crinkling.
“Built in,” he answers matter–of–factly, raising a hand and making a fist over the center of his chest before dropping it, returning his vigilant gaze to the uneven ground. Gale stares for a moment longer, floored not for the first time by John’s apparent obliviousness to the weight of his sentimentality.
Even knowing John how he does, it’s always unexpected coming from someone who a stranger might assume to be brazen and surface–level; John’s loud mouth and wandering hands do him no favours in that regard.
But Gale does know John, like an extension of himself half the time, and still he manages to render him speechless. The way his heart flutters as the sentiment hangs in the air makes Gale want to reach down his throat and squeeze it until it never beats again.
#slow progress but progress#dog coded bucky fic#still sick unfortunately lol i thought i was lucky enough for it to just be a week thing but i forget i am chronically ill!#(read: i gaslight myself into thinking i'm normal sometimes)#i'm trying to get this chapter done before i reply to asks/post other stuff#bc i rly only have the mental capacity for one or the other at once atm :( but i miss you guys and being deranged here SO BAD. so so bad#thank u for the endlessly kind messages and your boundless patience oh my word <3 it rly is so reassuring mwah hugs#i rly do feel so bad for not replying to @s and messages tho i just have so little energy rn so i am conserving it :(#but i read them all whenever the migraine brainfog subsides enough to scroll and i smile and weep simultaneously <33#so if i have not replied to ur msg. i promise it is nothing personal i'm just a walking corpse and will get back to u when i can <3#and that's my boring author's life behind the scenes update JSKGD my bad y'all#buckbucky
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Hey hello!
Here are some colored doodles of the fun little DHMIS bodyswap idea thought up by the very fun, very smart @escargon! I did them way back when and wanted to finish them up to add to the fun lol.
It was sooo much fun to draw and I hope I made it clear whos who by the body language/dialogue but if not! I put a helpful little diagram in there. Also,as well, I think if Duck had access to a relatively-normal sized body like Reds’ that duckman is dressing up and NO ONE can stop him. So that’s the last two.
#DHMIS#don't hug me i'm scared#dhmis duck#dhmis red guy#dhmis yellow guy#I have SOOO MUCH TO SAY ABT THESE BC THIS CONCEPT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO MY ANY WAY YOU SLICE IT#so im just putting it here bc. i said everything nessecary I think.#anyways i think yellow in reds body would just be crouching down the whole time. not used to the height and is a lil scared of standing up#also think he would mouthbreathe so hard he'd get the whole front of yarn wet itd be disgusting shkdsh#i think either ONE of them in yellows body is like 'OW WHY DO I SUDDENLY HAVE A MIGRAINE'#and I absolutely think Duck in Reds body would be a literal actual monster#He would let the new height go to his head SOOO FAST its not even funny like. just absolute menacery#and obligatory getting to wear normal clothes of course. again. mad with power imo.#also i DID draw but didnt finish the idea that Red would hate both of the other twos clothes. like just be so viscerally uncomfortable#i drew a lot of stuff that didnt make it here but yknow what thats just stuff only my good friend Bear shall know i suppose............#my dhmis postings#me art
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Got mixed feelings on Fallout the tv show but it has made me redownload Fallout 4 and hang out with my favourite drugged up irradiated raisin man
#i just think he’s neat#fallout 4#fallout hancock#drawing#my art#fanart sorry but i have had 2 do a bunch of terrible grown up shit today and instead of being rewarded with a treat i am gettin a migraine#so i am not doing anything other than playing fallout and doodling quick fanarts#is the migraine gonna be bad enough to call out of my morning shift tomorrow? one can only hope#fallout
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is this my sona drawn as medic, or is this medic drawn as my sona? the line is not just blurred it is completely nonexistent
#doodles#this is my sona i think but. i dont really use it very often do i#experiencing a complete disconnect from it..no more fursona only medic tf2........... frustrating. fascinating! but horrible#<- having the worst migraine in the history of ever#the void#fursona#i suppose i shouldnt tag this as medic but. [brain gets ground into a fine paste]#i wont i wont i wont i prommy#i wish i could make myself a new sona but it would genuinely just be a jpg of medic tf2 because
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Anyway I was very stressy today because Daphne had to have an MRI because they can't figure out what's wrong with her leg. Because we love layers of anxiety, I was freaking out both about the test itself (because they had to put her under anesthesia and told us it would be about 2 hours and it ended up being about 3.5 and she also has a heart condition so alskjdakldja) and about what they might find (which we won't know until probably Monday).
But she was a brave lil munchkin and at least one of the stressies is over with so I can breathe a bit more, but if you would like to send good vibes her way we would both very much appreciate it. 💕
#emynn.op#personal#Daphne#I was doing SUCH a good job convincing myself I was fine and chill until it ended up taking almost twice as long#emy right around 11AM was NOT a sight to behold#also had a migraine that's only mostly gone now 24ish hours later#anyway if you have any furry loved ones give them an extra smooch for me#💕💕💕💕
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hey are you okay...?
you havent posted anything in a month...
yeah I know 🥺🥺😭 for someone who did that nearly daily for years it's really, really strange. (But I'm still alive, so I'm answering this, although a little late.)
In news of the trailer!! And our boy!! (and what they have done to his hair, pfpfpp) part of me wants to draw so very, very bad, but my body isn't cooperating, sadly 🥺 Hopefully I'll be able to once S3 truly starts...
#my current state of functioning it's more like riding a clownishly small bike that is on fire and slowly falling apart but alas#I do work a lot right now#lots and lots and lots of weekend shifts too#I want to quit all of my jobs and become a goat farmer 😭#but then it would also only need a baby goat to kill me#... I wanna draw 🥺🥺#but maybe it's also good that I don't currently something is wrong with both of my hands I have zero grip strength these days 😔#and when do I not have a fever - maybe my body is just trying to fry itself for funsies#mixed with the migraines and the things that I still have from covid I am one ill little bean 😅🤦♀️#alas!#this bean will draw once S3 is out or she goes mental 🤸♀️
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i need 2 clean my room but instead i just lay here everyday like this
#aa..g#it would b so easy i have nothing in it#only my bed and cat tree and elliptical#except for some garbage on the floor#the only problem is if i pick it up n put it (back) into a bag then i have to get rid of the bag before my cats can rip it apart again#but if i take it downstairs my mom will get mad at me for having had garbage in my room#so instead everyday i just look at it n get filled w dread#my room is almost always clean the rest of the time#which makes it feel like it's just an extension of how much worse my mental state n anxiety has gotten LMAO..#worried itll get bad again like my old room i had when i was 15#full of rot both me n everything in it#& i am so scared of that#even worse i have a migraine right now and i cant move#so i cant do anything about it#im just stuck here thinking of it n staring at it
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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oh, heard you wanted to see ichiban in this game...
*monkey's paw curls a finger*
there hs is .................. get him out of there !!!!!!!!!
#snap chats#every time i see Yakuza Wars i pray to the gods of the world that the art style is just that#thats best case scenario jlkejlkaj#oh my god i have to interupt bitchin and moanin to bitch and moan i have to throw UP i feel so sick#i havent had a proper meal yet so im hoping its just that and not like. a migraine#ok back to bitching and moaning . Christ Alive#nishikis head is so round im cacklign#his head is NOT that round its A LITTLE slimmer than that i cant#genuinely funny how kiryu is the only one to actually look totally on model its genuinely the funniest thing#cant you lot just do the thing from rggo where you pose the preexisting models or smthn#at least i think thats what they did. whatever they were doing it was good#plus i liked some of the featured arts tyles from rggo ..... i really wish they gave artist credits like in feh#i really wanted to see more work from the artists there ..
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maybe i'm just a failure of a person but working full time means i genuinely have trouble keeping my damn place clean not to mention make doctor appointments so i put them off for weeks but it's fine it's all good lol
#like the past two weeks its also just bc of constant extreme migraines for sure#& that happened to be in the same time period my dog reacted badly to new wet food i got her so she spent 4 to 5 days shitting on the floor#so that did a number on me lol and i have not been doing any cleaning other than cleaning after her those couple days and so now its like#oh my god theres so much to clean and dirty laundry and cutlery i didnt bother washing immediately#anyways ignore this i needed to vent a little bc im exhausted and idk when im gonna do this now bc i have only two free days#until this month ends#and not in a row#and one is for vet visit with my dog#so.
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"I don't wanna write smut- but the parasites in me (tbz) want me to write smut."
#since i don't post on tiktok other than “unboxing” little merch thingies i get#this is where this “audio” will be going#(this is shouting out to the 3 or 4 tbz smuts i have in progress when up until now i've only wrote fluff due to trauma the past 5 yrs)#i don't want to eat candy- but the parasites in me want the candy- i don't wanna drink liquor i don't like liquor but the parasites-#the demon in me- IT wants the liquor- you understand what i'm saying#*i took out the part about not liking smut because well- if you've seen my recs- you'll know that'll make me a liar*#kate rambles after here#i originally wrote this post when i had only two smuts in progress.... anyways i'll be posting fluff soon but i first have to get#rid of my migraine to edit the thing *rip it apart until it makes me happy*#also all of the smuts prior to this don't feel like my good works... pls don't go digging for them i wish to light them on fire but#sadly i won't do that :)#kate rambles#it was all because of fixing that one kiki fic and writing that one h.one smut... and now with tbz- here i am spiraling#it seems i continuously spiral#esp with those *lovely* weirdos who i can only seem to write about anymore
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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