#not on my A game today sorry fellas

[uhlillie]

kinda shitty doodles i just wanted to draw them as lesbians

[taniushka12]

putting on my queue so yall don't miss me while I'm gone 😘

[the-laughing-lunatic]

Scout x reader who's never been to a baseball game before (ROMANTIC)

(I was bored and wrote this, I actually have been to multiple baseball games before but my ass still doesn't know anything about it. Reader's gender neutral as always. Trying to get better at writing oneshots so have this ig :/ Word count: ~1400)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

It was strangely calm that day, it was one of the occasional days off that the mercs had. You sat on your bed, reading through some random magazine you’d picked up here or there when your boyfriend Scout barged in. “Hey doll!”

You continued flicking through the pages of the magazine, not flinching. You’d gotten used to this after a year of knowing him and two months of dating him. The door might as well not have existed at this point. “Yes?”

“Wanna go to the game today? With me?” he said, flashing you two tickets in his hand.

“What kinda game?” You looked up.

“Only the best game to be created,” he said with a smirk. “Baseball.”

You shrugged. “Sure, I don’t have anything else to do—” you barely got out before you were tackled with a hug by Scout, your magazine falling somewhere on the bed as you were wrapped up in his arms. “Jesus, you’re that excited, huh?”

He only chuckled and kissed your cheek. “Hell yeah I am! I get to have my two favorite things, baseball and you, dollface.” 

You roll your eyes and give him a kiss on the cheek back, relaxing into his arms for a moment as you soak up his warmth. “...wait, am I below baseball?”

“Uhh…”

ੈ♡˳

“Bye Engie! Thanks for the ride!” Scout yelled out as Engineer drove away in his pickup truck, leaving the two of you to the sea of people waiting to get in despite the insufferable heat. 

“Geez, are there normally this many people at these things?” you said as you held onto Scout’s hand to not lose him as you walked to the back of the line for the ticket booth.

“What, ya never been to a baseball game before?” he said with a laugh. It was a rhetorical question from his perspective, but not for you. 

“No.” Scout’s jaw dropped. 

“W- whaddya mean you’ve never been to a baseball game before, w- why? How?” In his mind, baseball was the most amazing game in the world, and it was simply a crime that the most amazing person in the world had never seen it.

You shrugged. “Just never did.” Scout was full of feelings about this. On one hand, you were his dollface and it hurt that you had been deprived of one of the greatest pleasures life could offer. On the other hand, he got to be the guy to introduce you to your first baseball game, which had the same significance as a first kiss. In his mind at least.

“D’ya at least know the game? Like, how it works?”

You thought for a moment before saying: “Um, you hit balls and run a lot?”

Hoo boy. Scout sighed. “I mean- you ain’t wrong but ya ain’t right. Listen doll, so there’s nine guys on each team, right? And one of the guys is the pitcher for the inning. The pitcher, he’s the fella who . . .”

ੈ♡˳

“. . . and then the outfielders, once you have those fellas you can get somethin’ called a line drive where it hits right to ‘em without touchin’ the ground–”  

It had twenty non-stop minutes of Scout explaining the entire concept of baseball to you, and if you heard another way a ball can be thrown you were gonna snap. You took his face in your hands and kissed him before another move could be explained. 

His ears flushed red and he froze for a moment after you pulled away. “Uh, what was that all about, doll?”

“I love you but if I hear another word about baseball I’m gonna lose it. Can I just watch the game with you and enjoy it that way?” you ask. 

“Fine, fine—” he cuts himself off as the two of you are both hit with the realization. You said I love you. Shit, shit, shit shit shitshitshit!

Before you can stammer out a sorry or any other form of explanation, the woman in the ticket booth says “Next!” and you’re left to panic while Scout gives her the tickets.

We’ve only been dating for a few months, is that weird to say? It must be, he didn’t say it back. Maybe he didn’t hear me? No, he definitely heard me. Oh god, I fucked this up bad, fuck—

“Hey dollface, she said we can go in, c’mon,” he said with a smile, squeezing your hand and leading you into the stadium. You two found a spot in the bleachers, luckily under the shade of an awning. You nervously bounced your leg as you prepared for the game to begin.

He’s not treating me any differently, maybe he’s just gonna ignore that I said that. Please, god just ignore it. 

“Geez, real anxious to see the game, huh doll?” he said to you with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah.” Maybe this would all be okay, another normal date. Just ignore that gross feeling in your gut and it’ll be fine.

ੈ♡˳

It was not all fine. Everytime the word ‘love’ came out of Scout’s mouth you couldn’t help but feel a growing annoyance. And he said it a lot.

“Man, I love that guy!”

“ —fuckin’ love this hot dog—”

“Love the view, right doll?”

It’s like he was rubbing it in. The gross feeling, the loud noise and the tight packed crowd all teamed up to give you a headache. Great. You distracted yourself from the feeling by leaning into him and eating your popcorn, desperately trying to understand the game in front of you. Maybe you should have listened a little more to your boyfriend’s explanation. “You cold dollface?

“Nah, just tired and have a little headache, ‘m fine,” you said as you popped another piece of popcorn in your mouth.

He wrapped his arm around you so you could have more support. “We, uh, don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, y’know. It’s the bottom of the fifth if you wanna get out of here.”

“No, no, it‘s fine, gotta stay for my first baseball game. Besides, isn’t that rude to just leave?”

“Naw, it’s fine. ‘S pretty normal not to stay the whole nine innings for your first game. ‘Sides, I don’t want you to feel like shit. We could go to a game some other time, how’s that sound?”

You smiled softly. “Sounds perfect.”

“Good, now c’mon,” he said as he picked you up in his arms to carry you out of the stadium.

“Jeremy, my head is the thing that hurts, not my legs. I can still walk, you doofus,” you laughed. He kissed your forehead. 

“Whatever you say, sweetcake, but I’m still carryin’ ya.”

ੈ♡˳

It was dark out, and Jeremy had just finished calling Engineer on the pay phone while you sat on a nearby bench: Scout’s jacket draped over you. Only a few people milled about, leaving to their cars underneath the street lamps.

Jeremy sat down next to you, reaching to hold your hand. “Engie’s gonna be here in ‘bout ten minutes...you alright doll?”

You delicately took it. “I dunno…”

“Did anything happen?”

“I mean, kinda? It’s stupid though, dunno why I’m getting so focused on it.”

“Can you tell me?”

You took a deep breath and looked at the concrete. “Well, I don’t know if you actually heard me, but earlier I accidentally said that I love you. I- I mean, not accidentally, I do, but it just, y’know, slipped out.”

“I heard you doll,” Scout said, tilting your face up to look at him.

“Then why didn’t you say anything? I mean, I get if you don’t love me yet, I’m not gonna blame you, but just say something.”

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know if you were bein’ serious, doll,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Y’know, you’re amazing and sweet, and almost every time I’ve liked someone this fantastic they’re just with me for laughs.”

“Jeremy…we’ve been dating for two months, did you really think that I don’t care about you?”

“Well I mean, two months right. I kinda thought you would’ve already said ‘I love you’ by now, so just- I dunno. . . do you actually love me?”

“Of course I do, Jeremy, I just was nervous because I thought I said it too early,” you said, leaning closer to him, looking at how his face caught the light of the street lamp.

“I love you too,” Scout said with a dorky smile before pulling you close and kissing you. You probably would’ve kissed for much longer but the sound of a truck horn interrupted you. 

“Hey lovebirds, get in!” Engineer shouted from the truck.

Scout pulled away and blushed before getting in with you, holding your hand tight the whole time. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[matenrou-fan]

Oh nothing I just thinking a request for our beloved sadist lucifer, Spanking MC for being Naughty ( and accidentally make him jealous) 😔 sorry for my Horny mind

Sadistic!Lucifer spanking MC for making him jealous

I think I already wrote kinda similar idea here, but I wanted to describe it in more details and in a little bit another situation, so here we are..!

femreader, teasing, spanking (hand; whip), possessive! Lucifer;; 1477 words;;

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

;MINORS DNI;

You gulp, face in pillows, as you try to calm down yourself. The room was painfully silent and you can't even say what exactly he was doing.

"Well? Maybe you have some excuses for your behavior, before we started..?" - voice so deep and husky, sending shivers down your spine.

You never hear Lucifer being so angry. Actually, no, you hear, but back then his voice was absolutely different than right now. He was angry at Mammon because he almost applied for a loan from a suspicious bank in Lucifer's name. And today.. Oh, today he has another reason to be angry. Maybe the level of his madness was the same but the angle was different - annoyance to his brother and pure possessive jealousy to you and your little games.

"I.. I didn't mean to sit on his lap like that, I swear..!" - you mumble, trying to stop smirking in the soft fabric under you. Oh, or maybe you mean it?

Diavolo is just always so cheerful and easygoing, it's easy to forget that he's actually a Lord, not just your funny fella from the Academy. And not only Lord, but Lucifer's boss. So maybe when you two were fooling around like that and you "accidentally" sat too close to him, mumbling how tired you're now, you made a little mistake. As Diavolo was also feeling something for you, how can he miss this opportunity to touch you a little bit more? So of course he, as the most generous demon here, offers you to sit in his lap and relax a little.

You two were too carried away and didn't see Lucifer clearly standing not that far away from you two. His face is calm, if not cold, as always, but if someone would look him in the eyes at that moment this person would probably die right in place from a burning red gaze, full of jealousy.

And then Diavolo just easily went home, without even realizing what kind of consequences you are facing now, here, in Lucifer's bedroom, legs tied up and your ass in the air, only thin fabric of your panties covering your soft skin.

"Oh, so you didn't mean it..?" - he slowly repeats after you with a mocking tone. Well, Lucifer clearly can remember your gaze back then, when Lord Diavolo left and you looked up at him, eyes full of faking innocence and pureness. It was so oblivious that you're just acting, and it was so oblivious that you know that he knows that.. You didn't even try to hide your amusement from this situation, so now you will receive what you deserve. Even if you don't want it.

You tried to mumble some more apologizes and foolish explanations, but immediately shut your mouth as soon as you felt the coldness of leather on your ass. Of course he will not take his gloves, teasing your already a little heated up skin. He knows how you love touches of his arms, rough grip of his bare warm hands on your hips or tight grasp on your waist.. Well, today you will not receive that.

"I always thought that you should get a proper lesson from me.. So today I will finally get rid of your bratty behavior.." - Despite you actually feeling some wild jealousy and madness in these words, your cunt can't help but clench around nothing, as Lucifer's deep voice always sends shivers down your spine. And now, when he's like that.. You bite your lips, waiting for what kind of punishment he prepared for you.

Of course he shows his sadistic nature before that occasion too, always being more dominating and controlling in bed, so you were kinda prepared. Even a little impatient, as slow storks of cold fabric makes you tingle, but it wasn't enough. But when Lucifer suddenly takes away his hand you whine, waiting for something more.

But without any words, without any reaction to your small whispers, he then starts spanking you, a few easy slaps in the beginning but the pace quickly turns into fast and aggressive one. You gasp, feeling as blood rushed to your ass, as Lucifer just continued, not giving you a moment for a little break. He just does what you did before - as much as you didn't pay attention to his feelings and enjoys demon's jealous gaze, he now doesn't pay attention to your whines, getting more and more amused from your reaction. The way you arch your back, little gasps and chokes escaping from your lips as you try to hold back. Oh, honey, Lucifer can clearly see how hard you grasp his pillow, knuckles get all white from tight grip.

But as suddenly as he starts, then as suddenly he stops, rubbing pulsing places of his slaps really slowly again. Beautiful red bruises start to form on your cheeks, and oh just how much he enjoys that bright color, it was very suited to the same red on your ears and neck.. He then pulls away for a second and you whine, the cold air of the room freshens your hot skin.

"Mm? Already get so whiny? It just proves how needy and greedy you are.." - soft chuckle escaped his lips as he took something in his arms, you heard a little noise but still didn't understand what it was. Just a small guess was tickling in your minds, making you breath tremble a little as you squirm in anticipation. Well, maybe it was quite painful, but at the same time you can feel how wet your panties get, and wished for him to finally take it off.

"Oh, you're gonna love this.." - Lucifer smirks, enjoying your arouse. How cute you can be, destroying your own panties with such wetness after a few slaps from him..

You heard a whistling sound before a heavy whip slapped your ass several times, making you freeze for a moment, choked. Goosebumps wash over you as previous bruises start pulsing again, toes curled from tingling sensation. Before you thought that rough leather of gloves was kinda harsh, but that thing was harder and you already can feel how your cheeks swell a little.

"Mn.. Luci.." - you mumble under your breath, voice so weak as you try to collect your mind. Well, you didn't even know why you called him, as you just wanted something more and all you can think about it's just calling his name.

"Mm? Don't tell me you don't like it.." - Lucifer smirks, eyes fixed on the precious redness of your cheeks. Pride in his chest rose up again as he felt with every slap how he marks you as his own property.. He bites his cheeks, squeezing your ass and enjoying the way you shake and gasp under his touches.

His other hand gets underside of your cheeks, stroking soft skin a little before slap roughly here too, and you moan, almost whining as these spanking from the bottom sends little vibrations into your core. Your pussy already was so wet, and these underside slaps just bring even more stimulation to you.

You give up and whine again, more loudly, feeling his fingers so close to your heated crotch, you can't help but try to spread your legs and lift hips, moving forward to his touches.

"Ooh? I was planning to punish you, but it seems like someone is actually having fun here, huh?" - Lucifer smirks, admiring your trembling red ass cheeks. Embarrassment of his teases rush over your already blushed face, as you do understand how humiliating your behavior was right now. But you can't think straight, as arousal overshadows all your common sense and logic, making you arch your back a little bit more, so his hand moves closer to your trembling cunt and finally touches wet folds, even through fabric.

But Lucifer quickly noticed that and chuckled, removing his hands and placing them on top, almost on your upper butt. You can feel that he's still holding his whip, a silicone tassel tickling your heated up skin.

"So you still decided to be more bratty and try to get something more, instead of being obedient and just taking your punishment?" - voice disappointed but with playful undertones. Maybe you can't see his face, but you can clearly tell that Lucifer is shaking his head right now with a huge smirk on his face, deep gaze of his eyes, full of lust, piercing at your trembling shoulders.

"Oh darling, just how much work we have today.. I really need to teach you some proper manners, am I?" - sharp deep chuckle makes you squeak, and he pulls away his hands, getting ready for another spanking round. - "But don't you worry, we have all night only for us.. Who knows, maybe you will earn a little reward from me in the end? It all depends on you, doll.."

[agirlhasnonamehotd]

I have another little Prometheus fluff piece for you!

Naughty Dice

“What in the hell is the Big Fella doing?!”

Janek squints his eyes, staring in a confused manner at the Engineer from across the Mess Hall.

At a lone table in the corner, he is turning a small cube over and over in his hands.

“Looks like he's got a dice,” Vickers observes from over the rim of her coffee cup.

“Does he not know how to count?!” Charlie says with a snicker.

They continue watching him with amused looks until David comes strolling in.

“What are we observing today, Captain?” He asks Janek.

“We’re trying to figure out he's got,” Janek replies, his gaze never wavering.

David stares, too, for a matter of minutes.

“Well, only one way to find out as you say.”

He leaves his present company and makes his way to the Engineer.

Janek, Vickers, and Holloway crane their necks to see. Faintly, they hear David ask a question in the Engineer’s language. The Engineer’s voice floats easily through the air in a response that sounds a little flustered.

“Probably telling David that he can't count past ten with his shoes on,”Charlie quips, cracking himself up.

“Didn't I see you using the computer’s calculator function to do simple addition yesterday?” Janek muses.

Charlie makes no reply.

The Engineer shows David the cube, and points to one of the pictures. David studies it a minute, and then begins speaking in a hushed tone. He props his leg up on a chair, seeming to carefully explain his every move. There are several hand gestures and what appears to be some coaching.

“Is that… is he BLUSHING?!”

There's no mistaking what Vicker’s sees. Across his luminous cheeks there's a hint of pink, and his expression indicates a certain level of embarrassment.

After a few more exchanged words, David makes his way back to the others.

“Well, what was it?” Vickers asks.

“It appears to be like a dice-”

At that moment, Elizabeth walks in. Charlie perks up in his seat, but to no avail as Elizabeth grabs a cup of coffee and beelines to the Engineer.

None of them knew it was possible for his cheeks to turn pink, let alone red. But the flush on his cheeks could glow in the dark with Elizabeth by his side.

He speaks softly, quietly, to Shaw as he holds the dice out to her. A coy smile curls on Elizabeth’s lips as he points to the dice once again. She beckons for him to lean down and whispers in his ear. The Engineer reacts so quickly he sends Elizabeth’s coffee cup flying across the room. In one swift motion he picks her up and throws her over his shoulder.

“Not now- I have to work!” She declares with a giggle.

The Engineers groans and taps her ass.

“Works later,” he grunts.

He carries her past her gawking crew members. As they pass, Elizabeth looks up and Janek.

“I may be a little late to my morning duties… sorry!”

The last part echoes through the hall and then she's gone.

“What the fuck just happened?!” Charlie asks, alarmed.

“Oh, yes, well… Elizabeth made a special dice for our friend. A vintage relic of sort.”

“Like… what's that old game,” Janek thinks aloud, “like a World of Warcraft dice?”

“Not at all Captain,” David answer, “I believe it's what was once called a Naughty Dice.”

“No fucking way,” Charlie mutters.

“Yes. When I walked over there, our friend was perplexed about this particular position-”

“That's enough, David-”

“I told him to find a chair and hike one leg up on it-”

“”David, stop right now-” Charlie warns.

“And for added pleasure he could pull her hair-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Charlie stamps his foot and crosses his arms like a petulant child. Janek turns away and stifles his laughter.

“Fuck’s sake Charlie… man up,”Vickers mutters, “if you didn't behave like you're still in diapers maybe that dice would've been yours.”

“Miss Vickers, I don't believe that's true,” David corrects her, “you see, Elizabeth likes height in her men but she also needs girth-”

Janek steps in front of David just before Charlie attempts to land a punch on David's nose.

“Cut the crap Holloway,”Janek spits, “go compile the reports Miss Vickers asked for.”

“That’s Elizabeth’s job,” Charlie retorts.

“And she is otherwise occupied, so now it's yours.”

Charlie storms out of the Mess Hall, intentionally knocking napkins off of a nearby table as he goes.

“That boy really oughtta loosen up,” Janek says, shaking his head

“I'd say he needs a dice of his own, but that's a two person game,” David says, suppressing a small smile, "and his right hand doesn't count as a partner.”

[ladyyellow-thegremlin]

What the TMA fear you kin the most says about you

The Eye: you’re a whump fan, aren’t you? So am I, no judgement; we can take unreasonable and unbridled glee in the suffering of fictional characters together. You’ve been to the darkest corners of the internet, and for your curiosity, you have been killed internally. Oh, and you love fictional suffering but you act like a little bitch if you even get so much as a stuffed nose.

The Dark: you’re probably a fan of weird-core/kid-core, and you’re pretty spooky. Basic, but not in a bland way, in the way that you are the core, the beginning, the monster that lurks in the shadows of everyone’s mind. You probably also have a thing for cults but that’s optional. You’ve got a great imagination.

The Web: you’re either a manipulative bastard, have been manipulated in the past, or have been manipulated in the past and as a result decided to learn the game and become a manipulative bastard. You’re also a theater kid, and I mean that derogatorily. If not literally, you still are in spirit. Sorry. You might also be a Melanie Martinez fan but that one’s optional.

The Spiral: You’re a Will Wood fan. You probably haven’t actually done any psychedelic drugs, but you still act like someone who has. You experienced hallucinations in middle school. You’ve also been gaslighted: like a lot. You’ve got mental problems but also extreme imposter syndrome that keeps you from actually seeking help. You’re also an annoying little bastard (affectionate), but that’s unrelated. It’s me by the way, I’m with you on this one; we’re in this twisted little labyrinth together.

The Stranger. Like the Web, you’re a theater kid. However, where the Web is one of those obnoxious Shakespeare kids, you’re into musicals just as much as Shakespeare and make no distinction between the intellectual quality of the two genres. You either love Hamilton or hate it with a passion: there is no in between. You also have incredible fashion sense, you slay every day. You’re also depressed from reading Russian literature for fun.

The Flesh: You’re a little too into cannibalism, and it’s concerning. Like, you’d never ACTUALLY kill and eat someone, but you think about it a lot, probably while listening to Sodikken. Either that or you’re a vegan.

The Slaughter: You’re either a war nerd, or you just really like gore. Your music taste is either amazing or an absolute cringe fest. Maybe both depending on your perspective.

The Buried: Maybe you just really like Hozier and the idea of lying in an open grave like the ultimate Victorian goth: in which case I can get behind you. However, if you come at me with that cave or worm people crap, get the hell away from me. Spelunking is something that only psychopaths do. Do not interact with me. I like the sky and the rain on my face thank you VERY much.

The Vast: you’re one of those people who sits outside during thunderstorms. Alternatively, you’re probably fascinated by the ocean and probably love sharks. You also have thalassophobia. You probably also had a space phase as a kid. It’s me by the way I’m this person.

The Lonely: you’re just a sad little guy. Just a pathetic little fella. You’ve got no idea how to handle your emotions, and so shove everything down where you don’t have to think about it. You’re also chronically online. Go touch some grass today, okay? I promise people aren’t that scary once you actually take the plunge and talk to them.

The Corruption: You’re either really into mushrooms and entomology and think daily about letting the forest floor claim you; in which case I am one of you and fully support what you’re doing; or you’re one of those people who refused to wear a mask during COVID, and you probably haven’t cleaned your room in years. That place is nasty, and at this point your house should probably just be burned.

The Desolation: two words: feminine rage. You listen to the crane wives and Florence and the Machine, and either are a scary tall intimidating woman who knows how to dispose of a body, or are in love with a scary tall intimidating woman who knows how to dispose of a body. The relationship is toxic. Seek help.

The Hunt: you’re either a furry or a therian, aren’t you? You’re either a young kid obsessed with Madelyn Mei, or an asshole cop… who’s also a closeted furry.

The End: you’re a tradgoth. You’re an incredibly chill and nice person, and I would kill to hang out with you (pun not intended). You probably wanted to be a mortician until you learned how much paperwork and bureaucracy was involved.

The Extinction: you’re probably a punk with an affinity for gas masks. Your music taste is fire, and you’re probably an environmentalist. You’re young, but you’ve got a purpose and nobody’s gonna stop you. Good luck, my friend.

[fluffomatic]

Whoops! This has been sitting in my drafts for a few days. Should probably post it now that Creepy did a Kieran piece for me 😝

I don't tend to post a lot about my love for Pokemon here, but today is an exception~

SPOILERS FOR THE TEAL MASK AND INDIGO DISK + EPILOUGE UNDER THE CUT

Listen! When I tell you this mans is and will always be the best part of the DLC I am not joking! He holds my heart and I adore him more then life! His story on its own is one of the best Pokemon has done in a long time.

Like, this anxious little loner meets up with your protag, gets absolutely destroyed in a battle multiple times, loses his favorite Pokemon to you, and then goes crazy. After that he trains to be one of the harder npcs to come to Pokemon in a looong time, still loses and grows from it, chooses to help you, you become friends again and it's so cute! Then he gets to hang out with all your friends, and he finally gets a great support system ahhhhh!! Also, I just found out that statistically, Kieran is now the most powerful npc trainer in pokemon history, even beating out Cynthia! My little guy is so strong!!!

And now....LIKE HE'S SUPER TICKLISH RIGHT!?!? Would that even be up for debate?? Look at that little fella! He neeeeeeeeds tickles, please! Carmine 100% tickles him all the time. (Even tho I hate her lol) And the whole friend group definitely wrecks him, especially as a team! Poor kid needs it after everything he went through! Oh, and I can totally see Drayton tickling his as "punishment" for how he acted in the indigo disk dlc lol. I'm also cringe and ship my Trainer Deigo with him, so they obviously get into tickle fights all the time! I'll have to post Deigo on here so yall can see him >w< It's been a long time since Pokemon has made me like the character I'm playing!

Well, that's all the rambling I have for now. Depending on if I have it in me, I may post tickle headcanons for Kieran! It really depends if I feel like typing em out, lol. Feel free to send me asks for Pokemon, by the way! Again, I like, never talk about my love for it here for some reason, but I do adore the games! I'm not really into the anime, so sorry bout that

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

”You’re acting like you want to die.”

From this prompt game.

”You’re acting like you want to die.” 

Beard would’ve rolled his eyes if it came from anyone else but Ted. 

“I don’t want to die,” Beard sighed. 

“Willis, you keep doing things like today, and I’m afraid you’ll end up back in prison, and I’m real worried you’re gonna end up that way.”

Beard chugged his water, looking to do anything but read the disappointment on his friend’s face. 

He’s seen disappointed faces on his family members all his life, but none have been disappointed because they cared about him. None have been from anyone who actually worried about his well-being. None have been from someone like Ted, someone who showed his love through a place to stay and a shoulder to cry on, not through insults and bruises. 

“I’m sorry, Ted. I’ll be gone in the morning, I won’t–”

“I don’t want you to leave, Beard. I want you to stay. There’s an assistant coaching position on my staff and I think those fellas could use someone like you to have their backs. And I could use you to have mine. I could use the Bill to my Ted.”

So Ted offered him a job, offered him a life, and he would spend the rest of his life earning that second chance.

[understandableparadox]

Bottom of the barrel isekai: b-rank adventurer with an evil look becomes a daddy to the protagonist and his childhood friend.

Well if i'm reading it, that's a goddamn lie, hello! Pull up a chair, drink my tea, piss on my wife, you have the most control in this world because you are the specialist lil fella that can do not a lick of wrong! It's time for another bottom of the barrel isekai review! Today, you can read the title above, go fuck yourself if you think im going write it out every single god damn time.

Come out boys, girls and some other thing, frogs? Is that what the enbys like these days? Frogs? Anyways let's do the song and dance!

Our titular main character is a dude from japan, they wasted their live away being a disgusting fucking neet and playing video games all the live long day, being a whale in pirates 101 and domeing me from across the map as widow maker on royal!  

Anyways he fucking Dies and gets reincarnated in the game he and his singular friend dearly loved known as bright fantasy, now as we can see in the picture above, perhaps he reincarnated as some sorta giga god, perhaps his party abandoned him because they didnt understand the monumental boon a tax accountant has in another world… perhaps he was summoned by the king to Fuck his wife for him! 

Wait a second… is that a sharp detour…? FU-

Anyways gray is reborn as a Thug Npc, or someone with a dark background, his looks mean, he has a average appearance and some fucking sick shoulder gaurds.  He is a moody lil nobody, which is why it's such an insane hook to see it open with two children begging to be adopted by him in the opening

Now before you get too scared that we are running into uncharted territories since we haven't had anyone betray anyone and the MC has not turned god inside out, we get to dive back into the cool cocoons of familiar fantasy tropes with the adventuring ranking system. I'm not going to bother to explain it, if you got a letter grade in school then you know what it means. Get close to the A and that means you are the Big Boy adventurer who does the Big Boy quests. 

Now i do appreciate the authors restraint and only making him the Second Biggest boy and attempting to make him Not A Twink

We almost have a guy who is on a bulk and not a cut, sigh, one day. 

Anyways we pull back ground tall dark and who cares to learn that these two are matchstick kids. Dead broke kids who are attempting to sell flowers they have picked to the people on the street. They were attacked by nobody you are going to remember and get healed by gray. They then decide to beg him to save their ailing parents because I guess wonka isn't around to give golden tickets to get them out of bed or whatever. 

They tell them their names, one of them has the super special name of the Super Main Character. What a coinkyDink. Gray knows that if he is to be a villain (???) then his job is to avoid it. Luckily he went to the Katarina claes school of villainy and decided that ethical action is actually more important than meta narrative logic. 

Cut to Tiny tims lakeside property and we see the rest of the family living the fucking dream!

I'm so sorry, i have this mental tick where i accidently say “dream” instead of “nightmare”.

Also Stella is a vampire, why? Fuck you thats why. 

They explain that they have been getting by by the skin of their teeth through a combination of the street urchin grind set of selling flowers and getting church donations. Gray beats up some assumed child abductors outside and gives a somewhat creepy smile. 

Next chapter is about Gray stealing an orcs' balls to create a high end potion (viagra) to nobles so he can get enough money to buy something called a “home”? I'm not sure what that is exactly, i'm not sure what the translator was talking about, i've certainly never heard of someone “buying” or owning one for certain.

I don't actually have much to say about this guy, this is the guy who makes the ball potion for gray, I just like him, he has a funny face, I like looking at it. He looks like someone I would trade yugioh cards with while he tells me about his super cool oc and I would listen because he is a fun dude. 

But yeah, the manga is mostly about this guy being a slightly more psychotic late stage kratos, being a dad, trying to raise a bunch of random kids he found, trying to give the main character a taste of normalcy before the plot kicks and and shit goes sideways, oh and sometimes he brutally kills people. 

His main goal is to have a family and that's about that. 

So let's start getting into things. 

The title has no interest in creating an expansive world that is original, everything of it is meat burrowed and stitched into its own narrative to support its own plot line and to explain why this happens and why that is occurring at this point. Now I do not believe that this is inherently a bad thing. In fact it's fine. Not every single manga needs to be the next genre defining piece of media. In fact we need things that are average, we need things that build the genre or else we can never have exceptions to the rule.  The magic system, the team system, the classes, the guilds, the plot, it's all what you would expect from something with final fantasy inspirations. Semi (not really) complicated fighting systems that only make sense to pad out the loving tedium of a game. “Complete this many quests of this level to rank up.” “collect this many monster parts to complete the quest” and so on and so fourth ad infitum until god has to pop out and ask what the fuck is going on. 

The art is great in places. Most of it is very bog standard, you aren't going to get that much out of it if you are expecting groundbreaking designs that really make you scratch your chin in wonder at how they made something like that up. But it's very clearly competent and knows how to give each of its characters that needed cover before you read the book. People that need to look like unlikeable thugs look like unlikeable thugs, children that need to look sweet and innocent look sweet and innocent. The artist is really good at goofy expressions but they are a bit few and far between to really satisfy my desire for evil fucked up faces, oh kekegurui… if i didnt hate your plot so much i would be so much more obsessed with you… 

The tropes I've already gone over. It uses every single trope but more so in the way someone would do if they were playing a new game plus. You don't want to do the rigamarole of the heroes rise so you make them overpowered and whatever so they can get to the stuff that you have deemed important, that being fatherhood simulator and housing market simulator. The world is secondary to the plot the author wants so they grab the tropes they want to ensure they can focus on that part of the story with impunity while hand waving some other things and give ol daddy gray his badass moments to make the editors happy that this is infact enough of a power fantasy. You know, to keep those freaks that actually buy the manga happy. 

As for kink stuff, none that I can see. The author only seems to want women to fawn on the main character so they can complete the golden vision of the dead emperor abe of the nuclear family, perhaps hoping to tempt his blessing from beyond the grave… 

This was a little bit of a boreing read. I cant entirely recommend it, but if you want to see some edgy boredline twunk be a dad to a bunch of random kids he adopted then yeah, go for it lmao. 

[lil-doodle-bug]

Gabi took a deep breath as she opened the door. The adoption agency was supposed to drop off her child today and she was waiting for them to knock on her door.

Of course, it wasn’t the agency who had knocked on her door, but it was Julie.

“Gabiiiiiii!!! I was wondering, would you like to play with the rest of us today? You’ve been avoiding us so-“

“Sorry, Jul, but I can’t right now. I’m waiting on someone,” Gabi said, looking past Julie.

“OOOH! Is it Sally?! Are you going on a date?!”

Gabi slowly turned red. “N-no… you see, I was approved for adoption…”

“Oooooh! Well, I’ll leave you alone then! FRANK, FRANK, FRANK, GABI’S GETTING A KIDDDDDDDD!!!!!” Julie screamed as she ran off.

A few hours later, the agency finally came.

“Hello, Mr. Winters-“

“Ms. Winters, please…” Gabi said quietly.

“Ms. Winters. This is Anthony White. Please treat him like you would treat someone you would love. He hasn’t been in many good homes. We will check in next month. Goodbye.”

Anthony stood in the doorway, wearing a striped shirt and ripped shorts. He had blue hair, bright skin, and he was missing one of his teeth. He looked nervous. “Are you my new mom?”

“Yes, I am. Let’s get you some new clothes, ‘kay?” Gabi said, taking his hand and leading him inside.

She quickly fashioned a new shirt and some periwinkle overalls with green accents. She also made him some cloud-print socks.

Anthony stared at his new clothes with a shocked expression. “These are mine?”

“Of cour-“ Gabi heard her doorbell ring. “F-“ she remembered there was a child present. “-rench fries!”

She opened the door to find the entire neighborhood at her doorstep. She stood there agape.

Howdy had some toys from his bodega in his arms. “Here, Gabs! Free of charge!”

“Here’s some cookies for the little fella!!!” Poppy said, holding a tray full of chocolate chip cookies.

Frank, looking a bit nicer than usual, handed her some parenting books. “You’ll need these… or that kid will never be independent.”

Julie threw her some arts and crafts supplies. “Now, I hope you’ll play a lottttt of games together!!!” she said happily.

“Here, have the little tyke read over these lines! I do hope he has his single mother’s talent in acting!” Sally exclaimed, handing over a script. Gabi blushed when she emphasized the words “single mother.”

Eddie handed her a package. “It’s a Welcome Package! Hope the boy likes it!!”

Wally put down some paints and paintbrushes. “He needs these, I think. They’re the most!”

Barnaby handed over some balls. “I’m going to teach the little buddy to juggle as soon as I get the chance!!”

“And these are scented candles!” Izabel said. “Everyone else took the good gifts…”

Gabi stared at everyone, tearing up. She couldn’t believe her neighbors would do something like this for her. She stood there, tears running down her cheeks, as she hugged everyone.

“Mom? Who are these people?” Anthony said, coming down the stairs.

“Well, Anthony… these… are your new friends…”

Izabel is owned by @fanoffandoms23

[an-unraveling-unknown]

It's been a bit, and I think I've forgotten some. Can you give me a brief rundown of your little guys?

Hiya Bones, I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU A BRIEF RUNDOWN ON MY LITTLE GUYS!!! (thank you thank you thank you!!) (its not as brief as it should be I'm so sorry)

I still have yet to name this project: My first original project! I have no ideas for the plot LMAO /crying a little

Locke: Ancient android cursed to carry the physical fear of an entire very dead race of beings that they have identified as 'human,' the same thing they classify the people they see today. Travels a lot, he generally likes to keep moving - has taken up the mantel of unofficial psychopomp. Likes people (from a distance,) dressing up, engaging in human activism in whatever way they can, and Deimos. Dislikes having a lack of bodily autonomy. Was called 'Rue' once (Agender, but he has a fondness for He/They)

Deimos: Your local embodiment of human fear, and human fear specifically. Laughs in the face of gender on a daily basis, mostly due to the fact that he's a shapeshifter (generally shifting into the specifically held fear of whatever society he happens to be around) Drama queen, constantly makes either slightly too old or slightly too new pop culture references that Locke could never hope to understand, but he found a good audience with The Children. Deeply just wants social connection, a bit of a hard feat when you're immortal, and unfortunately something he couldn't find in Locke due to their own circumstances. For a while, at least. (Genderfluid, but currently favors he/him)

The Children: Collective term for all the people and non-people Deimos has unofficially adopted - still workin on them, but I CAN tell you that Charlotte (third youngest) has ties to 'Charlotte's Web' and the 1829 poem 'The Spider and the Fly' and also happens to be an anthropomorphic spider, while Marley is (probably) from Boston (youngest). Not all technically children by human standards, but pretty much everyone is a kid when you're Deimos's age

(other little guys below. forgive me for the massive text blocks)

Undertale AU: Some context, this revolves around two of my ocs in an au that is basically be adding non-canon context with plot; Sunny and Z!* Sunny ran away from home after extenuating circumstances and an argument with her parents, kind of as a 'last hurrah' of sorts, and Z tagged along because of his own reasons. Both of them found themselves in the underground and are now constantly wondering if they went and died about it because Undertale is actually a thing that exists in their universe

Sunny: He is a trainwreck, and is also probably the closest I'll ever get to a self-insert (but it's moreso me when I was 12-ish inserted into a 17 y/o's body). Compassionate at heart, she likes the sciences and being outdoors and philosophical things; math is latin to her (dead,) and she knows a fair amount of sign language. Utterly thrilled to be in the underground for the most part, something he and Z have conflict about - doesn't like talking about his childhood. Yellow coded as in warning (She/Him, Aroace)

Z: Also a huge freakin clusterfuck and Sunny's best friend, but Z is more contained than not. The funny one of the two, Super tech efficient, the fella loves cryptography and all things coding, made a rick-roll virus once on the family computer and now that very same computer exists half-alive in the garage - he'd like to be a game dev someday. Used to get hurt and sick a lot when he was younger. Z refuses to be alone with his thoughts, so he practically throws himself at anything declared constructive at a contstant rate, very much unlike his friend. Knows Sunny has a lot going on with the imminent move to Europe and all, but they shouldn't, cannot stay here damnit (He/Him, Straight)

*not their actual names, but they can't really say their actual names due to extenuating plot reasons and 'Sunny' n 'Z' is what Flowey called them upon first encounter.

BG3: The Baldur's Gate 3 duders!! neither Aeonian nor Monad really fit into forgotten realms lore, considering I picked them up from a separate Stardew Valley AU project and threw them at my current hyperfixation without a lick of research cos I figured it would be no problem. I was sadly mistaken, but we're making it work (even amidst the greek myth n gaelic folklore parallels which are now just outside-of-story meta)

Aeonian: My Tav!! Best put (in your words exactly) as a sad little tissue paper man. Unofficial bard and humanoid-shaped creature (Physical Embodiment of Death at Sea, to be precise) who is not normally humanoid-shaped, but is doing it anyway because their sister is missing and they have a guard dog complex to uphold. Looks like a very tall and very blue twig that could snap in the wind, but what they lack in intimidation they receive in cleverness and wit with a little bit of added bardic charmisa. They did not at all wish to claw themselves out of the sea with gritted teeth and sheer drive alone, and while they aren't necessarily cold, they also aren't here to make friends. This is currently being conflicted by the fact that they give a shit. Character development follows the rock cycle (They/Them, Demirose)

Monad: Aeonian's older sister and Embodiment of Life at Sea - the braver of the two, having ventured up to the surface first and kept going despite being kidnapped by pirates more times than ve can count on both hands - ve is here to have a good time and a good time only. Lively and charismatic, he loves the pleasures of life, people, life in general, and Aeonian. Took up the druid class, as she told her sibling, and was in the midst of learning how to wild shape before she went up on a surface outing one day and didn't come back. Ve's more secretive than Aeon knows (Ve/Her/Himself and very much a lesbian)

[wellthebardsdead]

Evalien: *from our world, got isekaid into skyrim and turned into a dwemer, now walking up to the Riften gates hoping it’d be just like the games so she can get one up over the guild*

Guard: Halt, before I let you in, you have to pay the visitors tax.

Evalien: You’re meant to only be doing this to merchants, not civilians never mind friends of the guild. Do I really need to tell Brynjolf how shit you are at doing a shakedown?

Guard: *knees almost buckling* alright alright keep your voice down just let me unlock the gate-

*a few minutes later*

Evalien: *walking through the Main Street, eyes peeled for a nord as built as her companion*

Kaidan: how on earth did you pin that guys scheme that easily?

Evalien: Because there’s no such thing as a visitors tax-

Maul: Hey. You!

Evalien: *stops and turns her attention to the heavily armoured nord* hm? Wait- *holds her hand up and moves it around in front of his face like she’s gathering his proportions* You’re Dirge’s brother yeah?

Maul: *suddenly caught very off guard* I? Yeah. You know him then?

Evalien: Sort of only really seen him from a distance. I’m a friend of the guild. Is Brynjolf in the marketplace today? Need some dirt off him.

Maul: then we’re speaking the same language. *shifts to a more relaxed position* Yeah, he’s in the main market district, scouting new talent.

Evalien: things must really be bad if he’s the one in charge of recruiting now… Delvin still in town?

Maul: yeah, down in the flagon usually.

Evalien: good got some stuff he might be interested in. Mercer still head of the guild?

Maul: yeah, took over-

Evalien: after Gallus… yeah…

Maul: *fully convinced she’s an old acquaintance of the guild now* yeah… Any other info you wanna know?…

Evalien: Yeah what’s the brotherhood situation in skyrim? If it’s as bad as what I think-

Maul: Well the only information I know is there was a boy from the orphanage who ran away-

Evalien: and is performing the black sacrament. All of skyrim knows about that and Astrid still hasn’t caught onto it… *sighs* things really have gone to shit.

*A few more minutes later*

Evalien: *walks into the Bee and Barb before looking back at Kaidan* Have a rest Kai I’ll be a while.

Kaidan: *still trying to wrap his head around how she knows all of this stuff* alright.

Evalien: *walks over to Sapphire* I’m here about the stable boys debt.

Sapphire: ugh, I know Shadr would try to get out of it.

Evalien: you and I both know this is a set up. You can’t bleed gold out of a stone when the vein was dry to begin with. Why else would he have come to you for the money?

Sapphire: alright alright, I understand. Tell Shadr he doesn’t owe me anything.

Evalien: Good. *turns and walks off over to the bar*

Keerava: Oh hello have a seat I just cleaned the tankards.

Evalien: thank you. *looks over her shoulder then back at her before sighing* I’m very sorry but, I have a message from Brynjolf.

Keerava: *opens her mouth ready to berate her*

Evalien: calm down, I’m not going to take your coin. *sighs* it’s- complicated our relationship. But he was one step short of sending… some more unsavoury people after your family. So I convinced him to let me come talk to you instead.

Keerava: m-my family- no what-what do you want then?

Evalien: I’m not in the business of hurting people- I’m only in riften to try to convince him to abandon this life and come home with me but… I heard you and your fella were looking to sell the inn?… if I can find some people around town for you to train up to run the place for me I’ll happily pay whatever you ask.

Keerava: I?… you… *looks over her shoulder to the other argonian Talen! come here!

Talen-Jei: *walks over* yes love?

Keerava: *whispers to him* this lady wants to buy the inn.

Talen-Jei: I?… are you serious?

Evalien: *nods* yes. I’m very well off. Whatever you ask I’ll pay, within reason of course.

Talen-Jei: I… sure thing.

*A few more hours, a few honeyed words to the prawn owner and threatening to throw a statue in a lake later*

Evalien: *shaking Svana Far-Shields hand* just head over to the inn and tell the argonians Eva sent you. They’ll get you trained up and oh- *hands her a bag of coin* your first pay in advance.

Svana Far-Shield: Thank you so much!! You have no idea how glad I am to be out from under my aunts thumb! *runs off to the inn with her belongings in hand*

Evalien: *smiles and walks over to the market immediately spotting Brynjolfs red hair* there you are… *sneaks up behind him and leans on the stone wall* Bryyyynjolf~

Brynjolf: *jumps ever so slightly and turns around* hm? Well then who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?

Evalien: a friend. Listen, I’m looking for this old guy hiding out in the ratway, goes by the name of Esbern? Heard he’s paying you quite a bit of gold to keep him hidden.

Brynjolf: oh I see, expecting information for nothing then. Tell you what, you help me out with my little operation here and I’ll tell you what you want to know.

Evalien: and let me guess, you want me to plant a stolen ring on that poor dunmer over there whose just looking for his family?

Brynjolf: *eyes visibly widening* How do you know?

Evalien: Your guys are a loooot louder than they give themselves credit for. But really? Is this how far the guild has fallen? I promise I can make him of far more use to the guild than he would be in a prison cell.

Brynjolf: really lass?…

Evalien: Mhm~ *walks off past him and over to the dunmer merchant* hi there! You’re Brand-Shei correct?

Brand-Shei: I am indeed, I bet you were expecting an argonian?

Evalien: it is a very argonian name but I heard you were a dunmer looking for information on your family? House telvanni?

Brand-Shei: I? Well yes. I suppose you met one of the folks I hired to investigate my past.

Evalien: Mhm. *reaches into her bag and pulls out a journal handing it to him* I suppose I should refer to you as Brandyl though with this information.

Brand-Shei: *takes it and flips through the pages with shaky hands and tears growing in his eyes* Lymdrenn Telvanni- I… my father…

Evalien: A casualty of the argonian uprising I’m afraid… but, the journal does have one thing wrong. House telvanni still stands.

Brand-Shei: *looks at her in surprise* wh-what? Th-they do!?

Evalien: yes. I have a few contacts in the higher rankings of the house. Now that I’ve confirmed you’re still alive, I’ll write to them to confirm your place amongst their ranks.

Brand-Shei: I- I have family?… *looks at the journal and squeezes it tight* Azuras mercy I have family. H-how can I ever repay you?

Evalien: well, I just acquired ownership of the inn. If you’re interested I can pay you 200 gold a week to work there, so long as you’re okay serving the more unsavoury of riftens citizens… I don’t exactly want the thieves guild to burn the place down and all you know?

Brand-Shei: yes, yes absolutely I’ll pack up and head over there right away I- *hugs the journal tight* thank you! Thank you again!

Evalien: *smiles up at him* don’t mention it. I’ll write to my contacts this evening. *waves at him before walking back to Brynjolf* meet me in the flagon.

Brynjolf: what did you say to him?

Evalien: you’ll see. But he’s under my protection now. You mess with him, and I’ll end the guild myself.

Brynjolf: …

Evalien: see you in the tavern. *walks off*

*a few more hours and a bunch of murdering later*

Kaidan: so esbern is down here then?

Evalien: Yep, just stay behind me. *walks up to Dirge* Maul told me to tell you to stop drinking on an empty stomach. *pats him on the face and walks past*

Dirge: *his single braincell trying to comprehend what just happened* Ah?

Kaidan: Don’t think too hard mate your head will explode. *pats him on the shoulder following after her*

Vekel: Give it up Brynjolf, those days are over.

Brynjolf: I’m telling you, this one’s different.

Vekel: face it my friend, you, mercer, vex, delvin, you’re part of a dying breed.

Evalien: Yoo hoo- boy this place is in worse condition than I thought.

Brynjolf: Dying breed aye? *looks back at Eva* what do you call that then?

Evalien: Think fast- *tosses a bag of coin* The prawn, *tosses another* The whore *tosses one more* and the Argonians.

Brynjolf: *catches all three and stands there in bewildered shock* how did you-

Evalien: I told you. Your lot are a lot louder than you give yourselves credit for. Wasn’t hard to pick up who owed you money. Speaking of which- *pulls out a copy of the deed to the bee and barb* I think the guild and maven will greatly benefit from my ownership of the Bee & Barb. *hands it to him* So long as you don’t bother my employees, we won’t have an issue. Oh and, I’m a woman who enjoys her deals not falling through. So if any of you target the argonians for the coin I gave them. You’ll wish you’d pissed off the black briars instead of me. Okay?

Brynjolf: *nods visibly shaken by her presence now* I-aye yes. We’ll leave them be. I’ll hand this deed over to maven as well.

Evalien: good. Now I believe, you, owe me something. *steps a little closer, her automated dragonpriest mask close to his face*

Brynjolf: I? Oh, yes *clears his throat, visibly blushing* Through that door, at the furthest end of the tunnels you’ll find him. Heavily armoured door. You can’t kiss-MISS! Miss it- *steps back*

Evalien: *giggles* thank you. *turns to walk in that direction* oh and… Did. Etienne make it back safe?

Brynjolf: you were the one who set him free?

Evalien: yes.

Brynjolf: Heh… aye, he did, he’s resting in the cistern now…

Evalien: Good, I’m glad, he was in a rough way when I found him…

Brynjolf: When you come back, would you mind sticking around? I think you’d do well in our kit.

Evalien: tell you what, if any thalmor come crawling through here, kill them for me and I’ll happily join your ranks.

Brynjolf: can do… can I ask one more thing lass?

Evalien: yes?

Brynjolf: …Who are you?

Evalien: I’m the Dragonborn.

*30 minutes later*

Evalien: *dragging Esbern out of the ratway* Glad you guys finally decided to turn up!!

Lucien: We took the wrong tunnel and got lost!!

Taliesin: WE DIDNT GET LOST YOU FAINTED WHEN A RAT RAN UP YOUR LEG!!

Caryalind: To be fair on his part- *cuts a thalmor agents throat* It was a very big rat!

Serana: *rips another thalmor agents throat out* God they taste terrible!

Kaidan: *cuts another’s head off* What happened to that weasels promise of killing these bastards if he saw them?!

Evalien: I’m pretty certain these ones were already in here!

Taliesin: IM GOING TO KILL DELPHINE FOR SENDING US HERE!

Evalien: You’ll have to wait I need to save a blue cat before we get out of this city!!!

[gawankeundco]

fellas. i think it’s time to admit something. i saw the game announcement for ingolstadt and the first goal against come in via flashscore and i was like hm maybe i’m not gonna watch this … and i didn’t even bother to check how leon is doing in today’s game either but i was in front of my laptop yesterday evening as soon as the stream for straubing started and was glued to my screen the whole fucking sixty minute misery long just to see travis (and josh by association). i think i’m actually travis st denis trash and am just posing as a [insert name of whomever] enthusiast. i’m so sorry🧎

[tommyshelby87]

Feeling less manly than ever today cuz of my stupid period and these stupid tits. Like they're not small enough to pass a flat chest and too small to be considered 'sexy' 😭

What would the boys say/do too make me feel better? Be jerks, dismiss or comfort?

[Hope your doing lovley writer!<33]

-❄️

Thomas: I am going to take you to the races and we'll have a good glass of whiskey. We'll smoke a big cigar too, nothing on Earth is more manly. We'll have a proper gents night out.

Jackson: We're going out for a good steak, like men do. We'll have a good beer with it, then watch the game on TV.

Jonathan: I'll tell you all the ways I do find you sexy and we'll lounge about the house together. We can play records all evening and talk about our favorite music.

Robert: You can hang out with me and the fellas from the office, we'll make you feel like one of the guys for sure.

Neil: We'll play videogames all night and yell at the TV if we dont win. Then we will pretend that the controllers have defects, instead of admitting we might not be good at the game.

[ I am, thank you! I'm sorry you're having a hard time, I hope you feel better! ]

[purble-gaymer]

THOSE LAST COUPLE CHAPTERS HIT HARD

I just got caught up on your fic and I always oh so love the interactions between the three knight bros. I also adored how you wrote the interactions between Meta Knight and Dedede. I'm a huge fan of redededemption arc and it's why in my hcs I count (an altered version of) the anime as a precursor to the games. I really think that anime Dedede gets a little more hate than he should. He's selfish and a jerk but he's been like that in the games too. I don't like it when people characterize anime Dedede as truly evil and undeserving of redemption because he's meant to be seen more as downright childlike to a fault, even having fits and not being able to read. He's more negligent of real danger even when he's the one causing it than he is downright cruel, and that was proven in the episode where he really thought Kirby died (which was actually a pretty fucked up thing to pull imo). My point is that I think that's exactly how Meta Knight sees him in the anime. Bothersome, spoiled, and a conductor for events that become far more serious than he ever thinks they are. Truly, Dedede has no idea what he's up against with Nightmare, and Meta Knight doesn't hold him responsible for that. He's just there to make sure nothing goes too wrong and shrugs off the childlike berating Dedede gives him afterwards. But for all of that Dedede never stays mad at Meta Knight, and likewise Meta Knight looks out for Dedede in a way by also making sure his exploits don't go out of hand and harm him (since he knows Dedede is playing with fire when it comes to the monsters). Even for the flawed parts of anime Dedede's characterization he's just an immature king who isn't actually that much of a feal threat, just like in the games -- and Meta Knight is his loyal knight who puts up with his antics. Sorry for the drabble but again my point is I just felt like you nailed their interactions PERFECTLY. I can absolutely see in your writing the potential for how their friendship would grow overtime. All the characters really are just silly fellas, reading them gives off those same vibes from the anime. Anyway, I just wanted to compliment you over that .o.

uwhjg. thank you !!😭 dedede has always been a fun character to write whether it’s a serious scene or a silly one, and i wanted to set them on the same course they take in the games. of course, it’ll still be a long time before everyone sets aside their differences enough to become friends, but it’s a start. matching the characterization of the show while doing everything i wanted to was a challenge, but it’s good to hear it paid off! dedede is misled and inexperienced, but he’s still dedede. there are inklings of the character we know today, it’ll just take time for him to grow from his original characterization. like, it takes until triple deluxe for kirby and dedede to really work together. now that nightmare’s gone, it’ll probably follow a similar course.

i’ve had one or two people mention leading up to 93 that not a lot of writers look at mk & ddd’s relationship in too much depth, and i agree. i didn’t get into is as much as i would’ve liked to, but i tried to include it whenever i could because they’re so interesting. you see them hanging out like friends but you also see them constantly denying the other’s wishes and fighting about it later. not to mention the whole ‘let’s blow up the halberd’ debacle. we’ll talk about that another day. but to my original point, dedede gets shelved a lot in favor of developing other characters and it’s a shame. he’d be just as important after nme’s destruction. he’s still got kirby to deal with, after all. it’s not like he and meta knight never interact, either. i’ve inserted a lot of scenes but there are plenty of times mk just shows up in the throne room to ask about something. even things like mk helping dedede with his plan to get kirby into the grand prix in 35/36 are suggested by the fact dedede and escargoon are in the storage room with him when he talks to kirby. these scenes are really only baseless in episodes where the knights don’t appear at all (i’m pretty sure they aren’t actually in 93).

i’d like to say dedede starts to realize just how serious things are after 89 because of the whole…incident with mk, but because that didn’t really happen, it’s not reflected in the show. maybe it’s more in the back of his mind, sort of a ‘no, that can’t be right!’ thought that he can’t quite dismiss. by the time the destroya come along, he just goes along with things because he wants to stop the attack. he certainly understands the danger once they’re at there fortress, so he has to have realized at some point. i think meta knight also starts to gain a level of respect for him after my made-up 89 epilogue, if only because he brought him back to sword and blade to make sure he was safe after. they wouldn’t have fought so openly in 93 if it were the beginning of the show—dedede might’ve been a little upset, but what’s it matter? meta knight is just another soldier under his lead. they’ve been through a lot by the end, and they’re going to go through more.

i wish the show gave them more interactions. i think that’s part of the problem. all you really see of them is mk asking questions from time to time, and it doesn’t establish anything beyond their usual fronts. it feels uninteresting and surface-level. but there’s so much more there that can be brought out simply by removing them from the situation and letting them talk on their own.

shit i just thought of something so i’m gonna talk a little more—the opening of 60 is sort of a fun example. their interaction is very short, but shows a lot. dedede and escargoon come into the courtyard with their destroyed car, and dedede shouts for meta knight to get down there and help. sure, it can be read as a nothing command, but it’s also a declaration of ‘this is serious, we need /your/ help because i know you know what you’re doing.’ he doesn’t call for the waddle dees to line up at the gate and prepare to battle, he calls for meta knight’s help specifically. (i’m pretty sure sirica asks about star warriors before blasting them, but i’m not sure she ever says mk’s name. they probably don’t know she’s actively looking for him at this point.)

i wanted to express everyone as having room to change, because that’s part of what the series is about. it’s about love and it’s about change, and even if the anime isn’t so bubbly bright and happy as the games, the anime is about that, too. they all have their own lives and they all have places they’re going, even if we don’t get to see what happens after they get home to dreamland. these aren’t static characters, as simple as they seem. they have history, they’re layered, and yes, they are very, very silly. letting that potential go ignored would be a crime, wouldn’t it?

[bluesified]

Hey fellas, I'm honestly going to do something almost no one will care about, but for the few that do, welcome to

THE BLUESIFIED MONTHLY UPDATE

April Edition

So, I essentially just wanted to make something to talk about my recent accomplishments, life events, and share some snippets of upcoming projects. Think of the Deltarune newsletter, except considerably less people care.

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Finally, back on the grind!

This month I started on many new projects, including a new youtube video (I just uploaded it today!). It's on Voices of the Void, a game I found and have loved for a lil while. Check it out (if you want, ofc!)

I'm also working on a Garry's Mod video, so that's coming at some point.

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Music??

I love music, and have loved music ever since I was a young kid slamming my hands on my grandmothers piano. I would play several notes at once to make nice sounds, not knowing that that's what a chord was and I wasn't some young prodigy. Sorry, young me.

Point is, I've always been fascinated by music. About a year ago I started creating tunes in LMMS, a free music creation tool. I highly recommend it if you want to try creating music! Anyway, I ended up creating some basic songs, most of which are pretty rough. I grew up playing trumpet, and that helped me with timing and tempo, but its not really the same as using a computer program.

However!

There is one that I'm still decently proud of. I made it after a period of time where I was going through it, and felt like I was barely holding on to my sanity. I made it through, but thought a lot about how things could have gone differently, how close I came to snapping. So, I made a musical piece I so aptly labeled "Descent".

I listened to it today, and felt like recreating it, using my current knowledge and FL Studio. Over this week I'll be recreating it from scratch, and adding a bit more. However, I wanted to share the original here, because despite it's flaws, I'm still proud of it.

So, here it is. Enjoy!

(Going to work on more music soon, so stay tuned :D)

(If you can let me know how to get music on spotify that would help SO MUCH im so lost)

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And that's about it for now!

A bit long winded, but thanks for reading my rambling. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to play MCC island because my friend introduced me to it and I must do parkour.

Bye bye!

it is dangerous to go alone, take this low quality oitty :3