#not nbwoc

[kouhaiofcolor]

"....When did we get to the point where natural hair is no longer associated with ...Black People? Black Women?"

Non blacks pls dni.

Have to amplify this woman's valid and articulate short on the relevance of this topic bc, whew smh, I have discussed the same thing here — and am both just as disturbed (and honestly? a little let down?) by Black Women letting go the equity we had in natural hair. Esp just to pick harmful maintenance/norms right back up. I do understand that we, as a race of women all by ourselves, have sooooooo many odds stacked against us regarding what we do with our hair and how we take care of it, but I cannot for the life of me understand what the purpose or benefit is supposed to be in returning to things that actually harm us disproportionately.

For good measure, she also spoke more directly and at length about this issue, it's toxically influential spaces and platforms — as well as the colorism, texturism and misogynoir in general at it's core. So glad I'm not the only Black Woman being transparent about how backwards the nhc/nhm is going.

[clonehub]

Hi, I saw your post about blonde hair and whiteness being associated with good and dark hair and poc features being associated with evil and I don’t know if it’s the same or derailing so I won’t reblog it with this addition but it kind of reminds me of a similar thing, where whiteness and lighter features are associated with femininity and darker ones and poc features with masculinity. And I know femininity isn’t inherently ���good” nor masculinity “evil” but it’s something I’ve noticed that gets me upset. How female characters whether human or otherwise will often be lighter than their male counterparts, how most heterosexual interracial relationships will have the girl be lighter skinned or white, and the boy be darker skinned or a poc, and how most lesbian/sapphic couples will have the more feminine partner be lighter-skinned/white while the more masculine partner will be darker-skinned/poc, for example Lumity and Catradora and some other examples(and this is no shade to either of those ships because I like them both a lot but it is a trend that exists a lot). There are some exceptions such as Revolutionary Girl Utena and The Prom but they are rarer in comparison.

Stuff like this leads to woc and especially Black women, but ESPECIALLY those with darker skin being seen as less feminine than white women or nbwoc. In lots of Black media the Black women are all lighter skinned with looser curls and lighter eyes and are often played by biracial actresses(usually half-white), while the Black men are darker-skinned and played by fully-Black actors. Likewise, straight interracial relationships featuring a Black partner almost always have the male partner be Black. And if it’s a Black woman in a wlw ship the non-white partner will be more feminine than she is. A lot of Black femmes and other woc femmes with dark skin often don’t feel femme enough because the standards for femininity often bleed into the lesbian community where everyone’s prototypical idea of a femme lesbian is white and slim. I even saw some stories of young Black girls not being allowed to be the princess in a school play because “Black girls can’t be princesses” similar to how someone said that a Black girl couldn’t play an angel in a play but the white girls could. It’s as if the standard for femininity is whiteness which leads a lot of Black girls and women to feel like feminine enough because they are too dark and idk it is something to think about. I hope this isn’t missing the point of your og post or anything but I feel like it is worth mentioning. I’m sure they’re are lots of videos on it too. It’s so unfair.

No you're totally right! I think something that cis people like to do is ascribe morality to femininity and masculinity. and it's not always F = Good and M = Bad because obviously femininity in men and masculinity in women are punished extremely violently, but they do play into (feminine) innocence a lot while also playing into the colorist/racist idea that lightness equals morality. hence why often times when someone is described as angelic or the epitome of innocence, the character will be a blonde haire blue eyed girl, specifically. and other times when, even if she doesn't have that pheontype, she's still a girl.

you also see it in the conded (and sometimes not) "women and children = innocent" framing that people will use to draw sympathy for a terrible phenomena.

And like I said, there's lots of times where masculinity is the standard for morality and femininity isn't (like the masculine aloofness versus the feminine emotionality). but in America especially (where I am currently) how we view masculinity, femininity, gender neutrality, and everyhting in between is inextricably linked to race and white supremacy. what makes a manly man and a womanly woman and a deviant of these binary ideals has a lot to do with white christian views on sex, gender, and sexuality.

and i could talk about this for ages but we'd be here all day ksajhflsakj

[spider-xan]

What makes thinking that pairing a savage animalistic Black werewolf woman off with a 'classy' pale nbwoc vampire not antiblack bc the vampire is a WOC instead of white even worse in this context is that while I'm sure it's not the only example of this racist dynamic, I have a strong feeling that post was in response to a very popular piece of sapphic art by a very popular artist that did pair off a pale butch vampire with a femme Black werewolf, and given the artist and how the character was drawn, the vampire was probably meant to be East Asian - but come on, depicting the Black woman as an animalistic beast is still antiblack in that context, even if you put her in a dress and pair her off with a WOC, nbwoc do not have a get out of antiblackness card by virtue of not being white smh

[anonil88]

Is it dysphoria or is my self esteem just low?

@ sapphosembers

[guulabii]

audre lorde

[kouhaiofcolor]

Tldr; “Say Her Name” is not about non black women. “Say Her Name” has nothing to do with women who are not Black. There is already awareness, slogans, hashtags, movements & social sensitivity for crimes where the victims are white or nbwoc. “Say Her Name” is specifically an outcry regarding how disproportionately overlooked & undermined the deaths & murders of Black Women & Little Black Girls are globally. *Please stop using this phrase (which is sensitive in nature), & the significance it represents & upholds within the Black community, as a stance on Women’s protection & rights in general. It is not about protecting women in general (again, there are already handfuls of feminist practices, protective laws & organizations all around the world for that). It is specific to misogynoir, which there are no existing protections against. “Say Her Name” is for, about & exclusive to the nature of normalized harm against & widespread mistreatment of Black Women.

idk to me it’s just like,,,black people coined the phrases say her name and rest in power for a reason and im gonna focus specifically on say her name because it was black women who wanted to call attention to the systemic violences that we have faced that have resulted in the deaths of so many of us which were left unrecognized. it was specifically addressing an issue within the black community wherein black femicides (particularly at the hands of the police/intimate partners) were not given the same spotlight as the murders of black men. we are always forgotten in life and in death and that is part of why the violence against us has been permitted to continue to the point that we are at a significantly higher risk of homicide than any other race. and the statistics are even more grim for black transwomen and femmes. for every nonblack victim of transphobic violence that gets recognition in their horrific death, there are 10 black victims whose names we never know. like that is the whole point of the phrase this shit is life or death for us and we know that the moment race is decontextualized from the nature of the phrase then that is when we are once again forgotten. but yall are acting like we’re trying to start genz tiktok lingo/aave co-opting discourse.

[kouhaiofcolor]

Non blacks dni.

Like,,,,I hate to have to say this like this but. This just a thought. Idk where this perpetuation around dsbw being insecure w their complexions ever came from cus. When I tell yall I see & hear such blatant, more outwardly obvious insecurities way more often among dsbm than I ever do among dsbw, chile. Alotta these niggas lowkey be way too insecure to romantically pursue dsbw if they're dark skinned themselves & that shit is beyond weird.

And there definitely seems to be a correlation between how it seem like, the darker the nigga, the more colorist or self hating the reflection of his self worth & cultural value is in his dating patterns. Cus they exclusively lay up w, simp for & pedestalize non black women so aggressively (whom oddly enough can never retain their own non black cultural identity once they have the attention of black men — which to me off rip should be the most obvious & telltale sign of fetishism rather than personal attraction but).

Everybody (& i mean every, damn, body non black lol) got they hand out pouring all this energy into projecting that they have a relevance, understanding or proximity to blackness nowadays in this tsunami of an appropriative ass social "wave" — & these delusionally vindictive ass niggas leave the door propped wide ass open for em to walk thru, loiter, falsely claim our creativity & wash us out. And then spend the better part of the serial interracial relationships they be in cockily, relentlessly shitting on black women anywhere from like 60-100% of the time anyway. Even when we ain't studding them. Makes all the sense.

Mad props & appreciation for black men out here unafraid to be unpopularly centered — cus on God the average nigga don't even realize he the average nigga fr. Ion even see dsbw fiend for attention from white men or nbmoc the way these dudes be out here consciously & pridefully investing in white supremacy, antiblackness & colorism behind these culture vulture beckies & nbwoc. If you different, thank you. If you expending effort to genuinely esteem & uplift dsbw as a dsbm w/o needing something to gain in return, thank you. 🖤 if you out here safeguarding & gatekeeping blackness & diasporic black culture w purpose as a black man, thank you.

Shit wild out here. Literally all you gotta do is sit back & observe. Everybody on a bandwagon fr. Playing roles fr.

[themacuser]

I forgot to upload these but here are some pictures of my Halloween costume!

[enthalpxc]

she said I'd love to stay but that's simply insane

I've got a feeling that my friends are gonna kick in your brain

[kouhaiofcolor]

This. Also they're so weirdly bothered w the idea of the same black female characters being the feminine or submissive partner in those same sex ships/relationships. They literally always prefer the black girls play roles where they're generally masculinized, comfortably overlooked & subservient to white or nbwoc. Always odd how they're far more satisfied with black women laboring romantically; whether they're w men or women. She's gotta be "strong" & perseverant enough to not even require humanizing — much less feminizing. Even if she's w/ a man lol. She gotta be depicted w this "strength" or "resilience" to where he's more neutered & she's more ballsy & this side of undesirable as a consequence, if anything 😅

Have definitely pieced this together & noticed it myself.

it’s really qwhite interesting how some people in fandoms would prefer to headcanon black female characters and female characters of colour as gay and ship them with the nearest white woman in proximity while fully knowing that it’ll never happen than ship them with the white man that’s their canon love interest, and then they try to appear “feminist” and say that they’re Strong Female Characters™ who don’t need a man.

[kouhaiofcolor]

ok so..... white women I think it's ab time we discussed something v particularly cringe & self-serving I've noticed ab white feminism that yall definitely won't broach truthfully & much less yourselves so.😅

why is yalls new age hatred of white males (generally) & white male misogynists (particularly) so prevalent & compassionate nowadays — while on the v open & controversial flip side yall be so giddy to fetishise & be fetishised by misogynistic (specifically misogynoir) Black Men? Ion even think yall can answer this one honestly. In fact, i count on yall deflecting & making excuses for it. But I'm curious.

Not to defend them in any way, shape or form, but yall be unanimously provoked by misogyny from your own men (as long as you can dress it up in all this social pillow talk to look like it's something "all" women experience at their hands & must refute) — but then salivate over Black Men who're so vocal, adamant or aggressive ab their hatred for Black Women or Black People at large. Yall don't even challenge misogyny dealt by nbmoc the same way. Because you don't really care so much ab actual global disadvantages women besides you deal with, I'd say.

And then yall so instantly derail the realism Black Women speak on ab how terribly our men treat & regard us. Esp if it benefits yall or nbwoc by placing you on some sort of pedestal to fortify misogynoir. Another thing is, yall don't condemn misogynoir/misogynistic black men the way yall "clock" white men for it, either. Even while them niggas spew all that toxicity w yall perched right there on their arms. Yall sit there & preen, if anything.

"But ✨️women✨️", though. 🥺

Just some performative things I've noticed. Don't come w the disrespect tho if you gonna speak on this. I will not say that twice.

[themacuser]

lol

[anonil88]

Festive hands front.

Festive hands back.

[themacuser]

respect latina women

[kouhaiofcolor]

"She (non black) but grew up in the hood, so thats why she talk 'like that'." 🤡

—the same black ppl who used to harass or ostracize the nerdy or articulate black kids in school for growing up in the same hood but who "talked white".

[talkingtea]

Do you think this relationship between Lori H and MBJ is pr? I always saw him dating nbwoc.

To an extent? Absolutely. But they’re cute with it so we’ll only side-eye them a little bit. For future reference though if Grant ever decides to do another PR relationship he needs to take notes.