#not nb not trans but queer as fuck and love my people

[taashyvashedan]

Ya'll have noticed that nobody seems to be upset about the non-binary mayor of Treviso or Maevaris, right? Tarquin? The medic at the Warden Camp? Why is Taash getting all the flack for something already in the game with other characters?

Taash is non-white coded (I will die on that hill.)

Taash pushes back against the 'don't ask, don't tell' idea that queer folks shouldn't be "shoving it in your face."

Racism, Ableism & Homophobia and the inability to figure out or conceptualize nuance.

That's it. That's the post.

[candlelightkitty555]

i have thighs and they are not covered in pretty broken skin bruises from lovebites. it's a damned shame.

[zellkabellk]

Rambling in the tags don't mind me.

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[librarycards]

hello! i apologize in advance this is probably something that you get asked a lot. but do you have any recs on literary magazines to submit to? im a trans poet, ive been writing for over a decade but never shared anything and ive been wanting to try to send my stuff to get it published somewhere. obv ive been google searching but theres so many big and small publications and i was wondering if you have ones you like especially and/or tips on how to choose a magazine/journal to submit to. thanks a lot! <3

no worries, thank you for reaching out!! i've been publishing for like 8 years + an editor for almost 4, so i always appreciate the opportunity to help people new to the world find ethical publications that will treat their work with the care it deserves.

first and foremost: there are going to be pubs out there that are awesome and i don't know about. you may be the one to discover them for yourself! one aid in finding the best mag for your work is the wonderful, writer-created chillsubs. it's a fantastic platform that keeps a huge list of mags and presses and their relevant stats, and lets you create an account and bookmark those you're interested in. everyone i know uses them, and it's very worth it given the sheer volume of mags out there.

i also have some recs of my own, ofc. i'm going to list them below. if they pay (which i prioritize) I'll mark them with a $. some are trans/queer focused and some aren't, but all are pubs i've either edited and/or published with and can confirm their ethics + respect for writers.

manywor(l)ds - my mag! i'm co-founder and eic. break genre _ shapeshift with us. ($)

Sinister Wisdom - old, well-regarded lesbian+ lit mag, now open to everyone who is/loves a dyke. I'm guest-editing an issue on Madness with them, now open for submissions!

fifth wheel press - run by a beloved friend and comrade of mine. i've published here. excellent transparency, care, great for first-timers. ($).

kith books - headed by trans literary icon kat blair. a mag/press/community centered around bodymind non-conformity and noncompliance.

Honey Literary - QTPOC-centered, unabashedly pop-culture + social justice oriented. the vibes are simply immaculate.

Whale Road Review - not queer/trans focused, more oriented toward....'grown up' poetry/prose/pedagogy papers. Katie Manning (eic) is a fucking gem.

Graphic Violence Lit - just had my first experience publishing with them, and their care + consideration for the whole writer is amazing. they publish boundary-pushing work.

beestung - one of the brainchildren of Sarah Clark. nb/gq/2s SFF. I just edited a few guest issues w them and have published with them. amazing work. ($)

A Velvet Giant - genrequeer work. the editors are experienced, enthusiastic, and amazing at promoting writers long after publication. it's a family! ($)

Ethel Zine + Press - handmade with love by Sara Lefsyk (as you can see, trans/nonbinary/2s sarahs dominate indie publishing, as well we should :3). Sara is a sensitive and care-full editor and bookmaker whose every publication is a work of art.

Protean - pro- as in proletariat. awesome left mag with a mix of politics and culture and everything in between. they take reprints! ($)

Mudroom - publish your work along with a picture of your mudroom/shoe rack. very responsive editors who will hype you tf up. ($)

The Institutionalized Review - for psych survivors. the editors concreteness of vision and dedication to their community know no bounds.

Just Femme + Dandy - queer and fashion-focused! led by the inimitable Addie Tsai. They pay *handsomely*. ($)

In addition, there are also some "big" mags I have had excellent experiences publishing with and wanted to shout out. These are harder for a beginner to break into, but worth keeping on your radar + have been fantastic to me as a writer.

Electric Lit

Split Lip Magazine

The Offing

Nat. Brut

Santa Fe Writers' Project

Bodega

New Orleans Review

Augur Magazine

I hope this is helpful to you + others! the literary world is ever-changing and this is just a snapshot. Hopefully you find some that you like!

[afinestoutlove]

things i love about heartstopper 11/?

Isaac Henderson. I love this boy so fucking much. He's sweet, he's funny, he's thoughtful, he's stylish, he's kind... He's a goddamn delight and also all the feels. (Tobie Donovan is SO GOOD you guys!!?)

The moment in ‘Truth/Dare’ where he comes back into the party? Those tears? Then when he’s on the balcony alone?

The times he opens a book in S2 and S3 but ends up ruffling the pages because he can’t read it?

His face when he’s gazing up at the art in ‘Sorry’ and seeing himself? My heart!

Then when he's watching Tori and Michael (two more characters I could rant about forever) in 'Apart'?? Just inject that shit into my veins.

"I know they would be [supportive about being aro/ace]. I just can't be bothered to give everyone a vocab lesson." ('Love') So goddamn real. Even knowing all your friends would be there for you, having to explain yourself is isolating. (Side note, I love that Charlie does go home and google what aromantic means and lets Isaac know.)

Realising you’re gay or bi or pan or trans is hard. But realising you’re on the ace spectrum is a whole different type of hard. It's so invisible even now. Even his friends who are accepting and loving keep making him feel excluded without ever realising, because they never consider that this is something they should account for. A lot of us find so much safety in queer spaces because people know us (or parts of us) without us having to educate them, but for ace/aro/demi people, even really welcoming queer spaces can be as isolating as cishetero ones. (Side note, it can be a very odd experience having part of yourself feel so seen in queer spaces, while another is still invisible.)

“It changes everything I thought I knew about myself. And about my life and my future.” ('Talk')

It’s so true, and such a gut punch. I think most queer people have a moment like this when we're figuring out who we are, but for aro/ace/demi people there's still not many visible potentials. For gay/bi/queer people, we have visible queer relationships to look to. For trans people, we have visible trans people to look to. NB folk are closer in experience to aro/ace, but even there, we see more representation even a few decades ago. And these are all things that are visible in our local queer spaces in a way ace/aro/demi people's experiences aren't - they're mostly seen as "just single", as "not yets". Our community haven't learnt to see something else yet. Isaac's story is so fucking important and he’s such a beautiful character and I love him so much. (Also Tori is so great for this, but she needs her own post!)

Isaac is also courageous and principled. Lecturing Harry Greene on basic human empathy under the Eiffel Tower?? Iconic.

Bonus points for all the ways he’s the sweetest human. He knows Charlie isn’t okay and he’s trying his best to be there for him, even though Charlie can't accept it. “You said you were okay and I guess you just lied. I mean, I kind of knew that" ('Journey' - didn't check the exact quote sssh). Ugh, ugly crying.

Luckily it doesn’t hurt all the time either. His humour is tragically underrated imho. In no specific order:

*kicks over the monopoly board to end an argument without even opening his eyes* "Oh, whoops."

“They’re just in the honeymoon phase.” “It’s not like they’re even dating.” “Unless they are.”

His completely unsubtle smirk when he’s delivering antiseptic wipes.

"Ooh I might have been asleep...!"

“No, I want all the details!”

I would watch a whole series about him and his side eye and his adorable smile I love him.

[aysathenotsogreat]

hbomberguy posted a video and i have opinions about it

i never made the active choice to stop watching James Somerton's content but when i stopped having a job that'd let me listen to videos for hours straight, I slowly became interested in other creators. i remember finding a couple of his videos contradictory in their analysis and do remember being annoyed by the "white women/teenager girls" comments a lot. oh yeah and that TELOS PICTURES ALWAYS REEKED OF A SCAM. Hearing James describe himself as a business major first in the pitch video weirded me the hell out. I feel like not enough people are talking about this particular part of the story but the man crowdfunded $60k USD and has produced nothing but stock image posters in return after years.

this man saw his community as nothing but to steal from and profit off of and clearly sees himself above those voices he robs. the point in the video that broke me was right in the beginning in the james half was the Mulan section. the tactic of erasing Jes Tom's words and passing it off as a personal observation of the community instantly reminded me of all the times James has confidently talked on the experiences of trans, nb and all queer people of color throughout his career and the fucking similarity of the language. that moment made me pause and scream. it instantly put into scale that this wasn't just one of the first video essays he'd ever made, it was EVERYTHING.

I want to pretend the queer media I see is made from a place of genuine care of the community, all of us do. but we as a collective need to stop catering to the consumption of content sludge. we need to be more critical and more aware. any time james mispronounced a character or place's name, i would always brush it off as a bad voice take kept in because of the videos' length that wasn't fixed in production. no, that was because james didn't care enough to learn the principle facts of the topics he was covering. (him spelling "shonan" in that AoT script made lose it). he wanted our ad revenue and your patreon money and by stealing the work of actually talented queer people, he basically won.

hbomberguy, lovely chaos bisexual, did a service to our community by making sure millenial and zoomer queers will never let this mf try to grift his way into the entertainment industry again. i have more to say about this video, especially illuminaughii bc she's an especially abusive and toxic person who i also watched a fuck ton at my old job. i certainly need be a bit better about where i get my info from, especially if i'm going to be repeating it to someone else. in the age of tiktok and the speed of misinfo there being insane, i just beg us young queers to think a bit more critically before we post.

[citizensun]

Queerness and the House of Usher (spoilers!)

See I just added these Thoughts to the tags in @quecksilvereyes 's post but now I have Feelings too

TFotHoU (or HoU, as I will refer to it here), as expected from a Mike Flannagan show, has a bunch of Queer Rep™ to talk about. HoU is, also, about remarkably evil people - amoral capitalists who'll step over anyone if it means they'll get something from it. And look! Some of them are queer! Kinky too!

That's bad queer representation... right?

The show isn't that clear when stablishing sexualities, but we see that at least three of the Usher kids - Napoleon, Camille and Victorine - have same sex SOs/assistants with curious job descriptions. Prospero's taste for orgies probably implies queerness too, but honestly I don't remember if he gets it going with any guys in the story. I honestly have no idea about Tamerlane's voyerism thingie and Frederick is the only one with a "traditional family" going on.

Unrelated, but: Leo is definitely cheating on his bf Julius. Completely dismissing about his worries for him too. And for his cat. That's objectively evil, clearly. Vic literally killed her fiancée Alessandra, though she didn't stuff her under the floorboard, which is an L when compared to Poe's original. Cam doesn't believe in true love. Perry blackmailed his sister in law. Mean. He's also got a surprisingly high kill count for the family's disappointment, but since unlike Roderick he only killed rich people, we stan. I don't belong in Kinky spaces so I haven't got a big take on Tammie, only that - well, she's completely dismissing of her husband and sees him as a prop, just like the sex worker she hires.

Huh.

See, the nature of a story called "the fall of X family" is that X family is going to be the main character. The title kinda implies that they're falling for a reason, ergo, they're despicable fucking people. And they're queer! They're very queer. Many flavors of gay. They're the main characters, and they're monsters, and they're gay.

No, that's not bad rep.

Queerness as a movement, a community and a theory is very focused on scaping a cisheteronormative society's binaries (ie man/woman, husband/wife, public/private) and creating living conditions to those who fall outside of these categories - mlms and wlws, the trans, the nbs, the aros and aces... we are all queer, strange and estranged from this weird and limited worldview. And so we create a community for ourselves. It's very focused on care and anti-stablishment. Since a cisheteronormative society tends to be very white, rich and western, it's also focuses on anti-racism, anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism. Y'all know that, this is Tumblr and we love leftist Discourse.

I also know many, many gay people irl who are not like that at all. Libertarians, anarcho-capitalists, terfs, completely apolitical people and the like. Sexuality at it's core is personal, not political, so there are gay people out there who are perfectly comfortable with their sexuality on an individual level but do not see the point of getting involved in the broader context. They're queer, but are they...?

Well—

Not to mention there's lots of asshole gays out there! Don't you have a shitty ex? Have you never been almost run over by a drunken butch who blew cigar smoke into your face? I have! Life experiences are just like that. Maybe you should touch more grass. You'll probably find a lucky gift from your neighbour's dog, who is an astrology-obsessed bisexual and also really hot but stopped making out with you at a party once she found out you're a pisces (the neighbour, not the dog).

(Granted, none of this is as bad as implanting an experimental heart contraption into the fiancée you just killed because she dared to have ethical principles and then being so consumed with grief you stab yourself in front you'd your dad but you know how it goes. We're not the 1%.)

My point is, queer people are people. We are complex. We fuck up, and sometimes there's still times to fix things and sometimes... there isn't. We're consumed by jealousy and regret and sometimes we're so locked into our own head we stop believing the rest of the world is real too. Just like any other people, because unfortunately, queerness isn't a sign of morality.

And even if queerness does mean community, kindness and acceptance, tell me... Where the hell would the Usher kids get those from? The people around them are not really peers – they're ass-istants, blowjob-giving apartments, orgy mates, heart surgery providers, hired fitness moneybags, perfect housewives. Even if the partners are all shown to care for the Ushers, there's still a distance, a power gap, that makes the relationships fundamentally wrong.

And the partners? Arguably they're the good queer rep in the show, but look – even when Julius and Alessandra are shown to be good people (or at least people with an ethical boundary), they're not the good gays, they're simply the good SO's to a family of psychos. Exactly like Bill and Morrie, who afawk are straight people.

Which leads us to HoU's parameter of morality - Auguste Dupin. He refuses to drink the Amontillado, symbol of all the Usher opulence over the years. He got screwed over by the Usher twins and by the Raven herself, but he refused to cave in (except for the informant part, admittedly). He's not a good gay guy; he is gay and he is a good man.

The fundamental difference between our show's main tragic yaoi couple isn't that Auggie is a happily out gay man (and therefore is good) while Roderick is a sad divorced hetero (and therefore is bad). Auggie is the richer man because he is a good man; he has a spouse and children and grandchildren he loves with all his heart. He has a family and a community and he has found a sort of happiness no money can buy. Roderick owns the world – but what does he really have? What do his children even have? How could they ever build communities for themselves if they were never in one? Their father made them compete for his love. He never nurtured their bonds, he just showered them with money and excess until it was too much for them to handle. Juno herself pointed out - they were never a family. The House of Usher was only that. A house. It is empty and soulless.

What is queerness without a community? How could the people who represent the relentless corporate normativity and cutthroat capitalism ever be good queer rep? How can they even be queer?

Hear me out: on the most individual, simple level, being queer is still about not fitting in. These kids are bastards. They are are PoC and women in a predominantly male and white dominated space. They're on top of the world, but they're still outsiders to their own House. How could they not be queer?

And yes, I know this discussion takes a different turn when it comes to representation in media, but it's not like Flannagan fell into a Hays Code-era flamboyant villain trope. Queerness is just there. Just like Victorine and August are both black people in (arguably) the opposite ends of the morality spectrum, there are queer characters of many kinds here. The story just happens to be about the fucked up ones.

HoU is a poignant critique of capitalism and a surprisingly funny adaptation of Poe. We'll judge it by that. It happens to be queer – more things should be.

[sevensoulmates]

I wanted to say something to address some other posts I've been seeing about why some people would be "disappointed" that Buck getting with another man (causally or seriously) before Eddie would be the same as him getting with "another woman" and therefore remaining "on the hamster wheel". (I fucking hate that phrase now).

Anyway, this is SPECULATION because Bucktommy having any sort of romantic relationship is not confirmed yet.

BUT if Buck were to get with Tommy in any capacity I, personally, do NOT see it as Buck backsliding or returning back to Buck 1.0 (if he and Tommy are casual) or "not choosing himself" (ie. choosing Eddie immediately as his one true love).

First I want to address if Bucktommy are casual and if Buck just has a casual sexual relationship with Tommy that doesn't evolve into a full on long-term relationship. I would not see this as Buck reverting back to his Buck 1.0 ways. Because you guys are forgetting that Buck 1.0 wasn't just sleeping around to sleep around because he couldn't go a day without getting his dick wet. That's part of the reason why I didn't like in 7x01 that they were calling Buck a playboy because it, unfortunately, did not hit the truth of WHY Buck was sleeping around so much. Buck was sleeping with any pretty consenting girl he came across because he thought that was the only way he could get them to love him because he inherently believed that who he was would never be enough for anyone and that the only thing he could offer people was sex.

But sleeping casually with a man has a whole different layer to it that's inherently different than sleeping with a woman at this point in Buck's character arc.

He learned a lot in his relationships with Abby, Ali, Taylor and Natalia. Why wouldn't the same come from a relationship (of any kind) with Tommy? And him discovering that he's attracted to men and actually ACTING ON IT???? That IS choosing himself!!!

It is, unfortunately, a common bisexual/queer experience that sometimes people will realize that they do have a same-sex or nb/trans attraction AND opposite-sex attraction and they will CHOOSE not to act on their queerness because unfortunately, it is easier and safer to stick with the heterosexually perceived choice. This doesn't even have to be a conscious choice either. That's where comphet lives and thrives.

If Tommy is actually the catalyst that FORCES Buck to realize he has a real attraction to men (because again, it seems to me like Buck is not CONSCIOUSLY aware of his attraction to men and therefore was NOT sleeping casually with men in his 1.0 days or previous) then him actually choosing to act on it is MONUMENTOUS. We don't know how far that will go, if they will end up sleeping together or developing a bit of a relationship, or if Buck will actually be depicted on screen coming out. I don't know!

But sleeping casually with a man this time does not inherently have to mean that he's making the same old mistakes. It's possible we could finally see Buck setting firm boundaries, or it's possible Tommy says hey this is causal to me and Buck (as the GROWN MATURE SERIOUS ADULT y'all so badly want him to be) is able to accept that without being insecure about himself. There's so much we don't know that could happen as part of this relationship.

In my opinion, Buck allowing himself to actually go the tough route of exploring his sexuality IS choosing himself, opening himself up to a world of future possibility. And if he manages to actually be open about it with his friends and team too? Oh my goodness.

The circumstances are already LEAGUES different from where he was in season 1. If Buck is able to accept that he's into men, able to act on it and be open about it too? That IS accepting himself which was always the issue he had for many years. If he believes in himself to be enough to be brave and open about queerness as he discovers it? That IS "getting off the hamster wheel". It is breaking the pattern of self-destruction, of self-harm, of self-denial.

As for the possibility of it being a long term relationship, we already saw that Tim doesn't currently have plans for Tommy to stick around too long so I'm not really worried about that.

I personally believe that both Buck and Eddie require baby steps before they can get together romantically. Sorry to the people that just want them to confess and boom. I don't think that's satisfactory for myself and for a lot of other people and I don't think the writers would be satisfied with it too. I think we all want to see the nitty-gritty process of both of them realizing their queerness, the growing pains that come along with it, and the eventual step-by-step active choosing of each other.

Buck being able to accept himself and his queerness with another man is the perfect step to him eventually discovering that the place where his deepest love lives is in Eddie. You have to understand that Buck and Eddie have been STAGNANT in their relationship since season 4. They NEED something to come in and show them that their relationship CAN and SHOULD evolve and in order to do that they NEED to be BRAVE and take LEAPS. Buck with Tommy could be the first big leap. After that, it's Eddie's turn.

[damnfandomproblems]

This is the person who wrote fandom problem 3657 about gn!readers

Love how everyone assumed I hate gn/nb!reader fics rather then taking five seconds to think and realize that I hate the fact no one tags them -_-

I'm not mad that people are making gn!reader fics--make them all you want, if if makes you happy then hell yeah keep doing it--I'm mad that they won't show and ounce of consideration and just tag the fucking thing as a gn or nb!reader! I have to fight every goddamn day to get people use she/her for me because people will constantly undermine my gender and use they/them instead as a way to advoid fully calling me a women, so yeah, they/them pronouns being used to refer to me in any way is triggering because they are used to constantly to misgender me!

I am not asking people to stop making gn!readers, I am asking people to tag them! How the hell does me complaining about people not tagging their shit correctly in anyway make me a bad guy?

"Oh you're a loser!" HOW!? I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO READ X READERS WITHOUT GETTING SUICIDAL BECAUSE NO ONE WARNED THAT THIS WAS OR TAGGED IT AS A GN!READER!!!

WORSE YET SOME PEOPLE WILL PURPOSEFULLY TAG IT AS A FEM AND/OR MASC READER BECAUSE IT CAN "be read either way" or "it's gn so it's technically both"!!! How the hell am I suppose to avoids those!?!?! Why should I be expected to magical know and avoid those fics rather then the writers being expected to just tag it as a gn!reader???

"Oh but how do you keep reading so far in if it causes you dysphoria" a causally use of they or them is fine, but once I realize that's all that is being used, I feel like stupid idiot who just been misgendered for the past X minutes that I was reading and was too fucking dumb to realize it, and that is what makes me dysphoric! It's the realization itself that cause the dysphoria, not the actually reading of it!

I lost count of how many times i went into a fem!reader x fem character tag only to realize that it's actually a gn/nb!reader x fem character fic and get so upset (because y'know dysphoria is inherently a nonsense but extreme uncontrollable feeling but go off on how I'm over reacting, it really helps /tone tag:fuck you), and have to go on a walk so I don't hurt myself because I despite looking into the fem!reader tag, blacklisting nb/gn!reader tags, I still got some prick decided to post their gn!reader fic untagged and unwarned in the fem!reader tags because its "inclusive"

Guess transfems who have dysphoria over being misgendered with they/them pronouns constantly shouldn't be reading x readers though, my fucking bad. how dare I want people to just tag their shit correctly though, so lame and selfish and weak of me. So fucking lame and childish of me for not feeling included in these 100% amazing "inclusive" fics and wanting them to be tagged

Fuck all the pricks who help confirmed my beliefs on how fandom refuses to accept "undesirable" queers. God forbid not every trans person is comfortable with they/them

Just fucking tag your gn/nb!readers, I'm not a bad person for wanting that

And in advance, double fuck you to anyone who still wants to agrue about how inclusive gn!readers are and that it isn't a big deal when they're untagged because they're so super duper inclusive even though they are often dysphoria inducing and unavoidable when not tagged. shit in your hand and swallow it asshole

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @lqtraintracks.

I got into fandom a long, long time ago, way back before I found HP in 2012. My early days in another fandom (days meaning years) are not a time I want to revisit, even though it started out really good. I got to explore my sexuality for the very first time there. I met my first gf there. And those things were beautiful, for sure; they were just short-lived. After a couple of years, I met an abuser, and from then on my fandom life was predetermined by them—what I could and couldn’t read, could and couldn’t write, who I could and couldn’t form friendships with, etc. And even in the midst of that, there were those friendships that bolstered me. @elrhiarhodan, I’m looking at you.

But after 13 ½ years of that… I found HP. And I found a wonderful person who would change my life. I met Shelly / @unmistakablyoatmeal. For the first time in a very long time, I saw someone writing queerly and freely, who, far from being limited to one pairing for life, was writing all kinds of pairings (and threesomes), dynamics, and stories! I was so powerfully drawn to that freedom, and to her, and in no small way, she and this fandom are why I survived, and how I escaped and started to change my life and reclaim it as my own. 

I’ve met so many wonderful people here, many of whom have become close friends, my best friends. I’ve been writing all the queer smut my little queer heart has desired for many years now, and it’s been beyond amazing.

But something changed for us a few years ago, and our community hasn’t been the same since. The person who wrote the canon turned on us. She revealed herself to be all kinds of monstrous. 

There were clues, of course—the antisemitism inherent in her Goblins, the fat phobia, the queer baiting without any actual rep, the racism and ignorance shown in naming Cho Chang, etc. We knew but maybe we didn’t want to know. And being white and not Jewish, I lived under an umbrella of privilege that meant I didn’t have to see it until other people began pointing these things out to me.

But then the transphobia started. And kept going. And it became her platform. And it got worse, and worse, and fucking worse

As painful and horrific as that has been, it seems to have done what that sort of vile bigotry has always done though: It’s shown us that we are and will always be stronger, wiser, more loving, and ultimately undefeatable. I’ll speak for myself: I wasn’t writing trans characters before. I was afraid I’d get it wrong. JKR’s evil bullshit is what pushed me to get over myself. 

This fandom is where I have learned the most about the queer community I love. It’s where I’ve truly learned to write. And it’s where I’ve learned about facets of queer life I’d never connected to properly before out of the fear of trying. 

Here’s what I’ve learned: Bloody no one comes together like we do! No one supports one another like we do! We’ve forged a stronger bond because of some terf’s hate, and I feel closer to my fellow queer creators than ever.

This fandom, you beautiful people, have taught me so much, continue to teach me so much. I’m honored to share this space with you. Happy Pride to all you gorgeous people being your trans, nb, fluid, ace, bi, pan, poly, intersex, queer, powerful selves.  Thank you from the bottom of my little queer heart. I love you.

Thank you, LQ, for joining me in the Library. I love your declaration of fandom as ours, and the recognition that we are a stronger community because of what we've overcome. Thank you for celebrating Pride in the Library with me.

If you want more @lqtraintracks be sure to check out their work on AO3! I just finished reading her Phoenix in the Fire and I was hooked the whole time! I couldn't stop until I'd devoured the whole thing. I think you'll be just as hooked as I was. I also want to throw in how much I loved A Strapping Young Man - I loved reading about Harry's desire for Draco, and how Harry's desire is bolstered by Draco's confidence.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[possibilistfanfiction]

Genuine question, how did you figure out or realize the whole being butch thing? What does being butch mean to you?

idk if it was like… figure out? more so just putting a name to something i’ve always felt or known about myself. i came out as a lesbian, then i came out as nb, then i was like well i want gender affirming care so that must mean i am Trans™️, & it’s like… none of those words or kind of… vibes (lol sorry) quite fit? i don’t feel like a cis lesbian, & i actually kind of despise non-binary as a concept (don’t send asks abt this i won’t answer them lol, do ur own thing if u love it that’s cool); i think for me personally Transness is a little too serious & intense & limiting to how i feel. & im a white afab person in a smaller body, & honestly…….. we are often the wooooorst demographic of trans ppl lmao so i just didn’t even rly like some spaces i was in. i got the most important gender affirming care i wanted, i moved & i got married, i got to work remotely etc

& so just sitting with all of that it was like. ok well a lot of neoliberal queer spaces piss me the fuck off; i’m not cis, but i’m not TRANS in the way a lot of ppl (very validly) feel; i do Not like nb. i’d read stone butch blues before, i have a degree in critical theory where i worked a loooot w queer theory, obviously i’ve written abt queerness for ages lol. so then i was just like ah. butch. dyke. YAH! sweet. 100/10 feels amazing i love it

& i think for me i love those words most bc they’re rooted in really radical belief that i have. they carry an ethic with them that, at its best & most intersectional ofc, i want to act on, all the time. i want to show up for people & be protective & tough & strong but i also so deeply want to be nurturing & nourishing. i want to allow myself to be nourished & cared for. i think it feels rly wonderful to have a word for transgressive gender that sums it all up bc people lived it before me. they made that very specific & particular space to experience femininity in a way that doesn���t feel like a noose.

i think also butchness is so expansive! something that never sat right w me abt the way we talk abt transness in the west is that i don’t think there are ‘pre’ & ‘post’ transition selves. like… i’ve never been Not Me? like i came out of the womb a dyke. all i did my entire childhood is run around in the mountains, catalogue leaves, play w my dog, read nancy drew, & avidly watch + play any women’s soccer i could. i loved to fish & mountain bike, i grew up in the desert so gardening to me was a miracle. i never cared abt gender at all beyond like ‘well i guess i’m a girl & the women i admire just won a world cup, they’re badass’ & that was it. i liked boys clothes bc they were practical & felt better, but i just. didn’t think about it. ppl called me a tomboy which was fine, i liked scout in to kill a mockingbird so whatever. but i never felt “non-binary” & i certainly never felt like a boy.

& i am… still just like that lmao. i hated my boobs, point blank day 1 lol, but that doesn’t have to mean i’m trans, or that i’ve somehow changed in a way that requires separation from who i’ve been my whole life. i HATE the language of ‘dead/lived’ name; i hate the weird expectation that u should allow the state to have all of ur gender stuff on record (no fucking thank you, y’all can keep my legal name & i will be flying under the radar lol). so i think western transness rly just. irritates me. doesn’t fit. hasn’t ever fit.

so butchness is like. i am 8 year old jude, i’m just older now. if this makes sense ur butch lmao but. it’s this rly free space to play w masculinity in a way that doesn’t necessitate western transness, & also doesn’t necessitate a separation from maternalism, which i fundamentally believe in. i don’t even rly think of my own care as “gender affirming” & more just like… essence affirming. i didn’t want top surgery so my body could be read as male; i wanted it so i could look like me. i want my clothes to feel & fit in a Very particular way bc that’s how i like them. it’s abt practicality, efficiency, comfort.

& lastly to me butchness has a remarkable space for tenderness that masculinity on its own just cannot hold. like. it’s abt being protective & strong, sure, but it’s in service of others. always always always. so sometimes that looks like communicating calmly, sometimes that looks like infinite small acts of service for ur friends or ur partner. when i think of settling into myself it’s more about returning to who i knew i was when i was a kid, when i was the only person my dog liked & how it felt to sit on the swings when the sun was setting after the monsoon; it’s allowing myself to love like that — caring, & quiet, & full.

ultimately to me butchness is about devotion, more than anything in the world. devoted to safety, devoted to community. no one is devoted the way dykes are bc it’s how we survive. it’s how we have always survived — the steadfastness, the faith, the joy, even thru suffering, to not be boxed in. to help each other. to be funny & kind & thoughtful & not reject the absolute best parts of womanhood for the sake of a western box. to demand care. it’s so beautiful. devotion.

tldr it’s the best

[chaos-monkeyy]

❦ ➷ get to know your fellow fanfic writers better ༊ ✧.*

Tagged by @dewdropreader and @mirilyawrites , thank you!!

1. when did you post your first ever fanfic?

February 2019!

2. first character you wrote for:

Ben Jones my beloved (from Midsomer Murders)

3. main character(s) you’re currently writing for:

I don't know if I'm even allowed to answer this one 😂 Probably my own characters for original works, aside from that I really am just all over the map.. I'll say the ones I'm most likely to come back to regularly these days are Captain Pike, Mobius, and Dalinar Kholin (along with, y'know, people for them to get it on with).

4. character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon:

Pike's sex toys 😏

But uhhh actual people I haven't already written? 🤔 I am still toying with the idea of writing a little Jordi x Erin scene for Who Is Erin Carter? but it's anyone's best guess whether I'll actually get around to it 🙈

5. fandom(s) you’re currently writing for:

The main culprits lately have been Stormlight Archive, Star Trek Strange New Worlds, the Loki series, Stargate, and original fiction! Honorable mention to OFMD and Good Omens who've popped in there a couple times as well and may or may not continue to make occasional appearances 💖

6. platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

.....let's say Ortegas & Pike since I did technically write them recently 😆 and also I love them.

7. romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

All the things

Though let's be real, it's just straight up sexual pairings as opposed to romantic most of the time 🍾 But yeah, there's just.. so many to have fun with ✨

8. your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

PWP, Omorashi... and in third place is a three way tie between Masturbation, Watersports, and Blowjobs 😂

9. your current platform where you post your works

Fanfic:

Original work:

With occasional cross-posting between the two 😊

10. snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:

..alright well here's hoping I do wind up actually finishing the big-dick-Mobius fic I started ages ago to go with @natendo-art 's hot fucking artwork 🙈

“May I?” Loki was asking— and he was trailing one hand downwards, fingers teasing along the line of Mobius’s belt. 

Mobius’s breath caught in an embarrassing little whimper, but he nodded anyway, a little distracted from wondering… Should he tell Loki he didn’t have any idea what he was doing, not really? Should he keep quiet and hope maybe Loki wouldn’t notice how woefully inexperienced he was beyond his own hands? Or— 

Mobius’s nervous train of thought was interrupted by Loki’s fingers finding his stiffened cock through his suit pants with a little squeeze— 

…And then Loki stopped, pulled back, and stared at Mobius with wide eyes and a slightly shocked look. 

“Wh… what is it?” Mobius asked, face flaming, instantly certain he’d done something wrong. “I’m sorry—” 

“Sorry?” Loki breathed, and to Mobius’s tentative relief, that slightly slack-jawed expression twisted up into a grin of delight instead. “My dear Mobius, you should definitely not be sorry about this.”

Tagging @trainofcommand , @d--dandelions , @cosmereplay , @might-be-a-lynx , @confuzing , @knight-of-skyloft , @cordeliaperry , @frankthesnek , @cuillere , and anyone else I missed who wants to do it - consider yourself tagged too! 💙

[daisychainsandbowties]

your nonbinary beatrice post, i’m mentally jumping up and down on a bed ala s1 ava

nonbinary avatrice is so damn underrated imo, especially since they both read very trans and/or nd, (beatrice especially ((unrelated but lilith also has autistic vibes for similar reasons to beatrice)

ava is a bit complicated because on one hand it’s very likely she doesn’t care much or at all, and you have that whole queer af conversation between her and chanel about not knowing who you are because you never got a chance to explore or something that’s even queerer knowing that chanel’s actor is trans, and how often being queer and disabled goes hand in hand because of how man & woman is usually defined so much as a cishet white, thin, well off, pro status quo abled man/woman, but also on the other hand, that could also be the very same reason why a disabled person might firmly id as cis and/or with their agab, because of how they’re systematically denied manhood/womanhood because of their disability

and then with beatrice, like aside from the way she dresses, and i refuse to believe the combat habits didn’t make a few nuns realize that they aren’t so cis after all, you have the “people have tried to make me something i’m not. to make me normal. or at least, acceptable*.” and many people will “accept” gay people but only as long as they’re don’t display any gender queerness/gncness and/or transness

(*and obv that line is very easily also or as well interpretable as autistic beatrice, esp w how she displays a few behaviors that could be read as her being autistic, but that’s off topic)

<- first of all i am just yes yes yes about the intersectionality of disability/queerness & how it adds huge good layers to any conversation about nb avatrice. i rlly like the idea of Ava claiming her gender, b/c so often the systems and the institutions and ablism try to infantilise disabled ppl, & that extends to participating in gender, linking right to dehumanising tactics.

& i fucking LOVE Ava really doing gender and doing it her own way and grabbing it and running with it. Ava coming from a place where the ppl who 'cared' for her didn't give a damn about her girlhood. she's been confronted with her girlhood only in terms of pejoratives - 'you're a very x girl'

i am Thinking about the s1 line where we see sister fuck looming over Ava after she gets her period & saying to her 'you're a woman now' & how that is framed for us. just specifically what the entire event of menstruation feels when you are not cis.

ppl telling you that you're a woman (now, suddenly. like, fuck, when did i agree to this. who asked my permission?) and how you can feel your body being reframed and relegated in a certain way by the world and the anguish of that, often the blunt and speechless agony of it because the language that could latch onto what is wrong about the way that woman sits on your skin is unavailable to you

nonbinary avatrice is very mood to me because i think they in general have an extremely gnc thing going on. look no further than the outfits in s2. it is BOTH of them, also. Ava reads very boyish to me (hilariously in a very 'that kid with the band-aid on his nose & the blue shorts from pokemon who runs around on the beach going '!!! my footsteps keep disappearing'. ava silva-core).

there really is something in Ava that resists conventional femininity & i think it is very AVA the way she does it. she's giving the middle finger to it, she's shrugging at it. she's kissing gender on the mouth & girlbossing & also just being a little guy with her baseball cap turned around like ash ketchum. Ava silva 'gotta catch em' all' Silva but with the genders.

& yeah the fact that when beatrice is not in her habit she is wearing very masc clothing, putting her hands deep in her pockets, shirt collar sticking up out of her sweater. the outfit she wears to kick crimson in the face. the outfit from guttural scream fight night. her armour with its bandoleer of knives & her cute little throwing stars you use to hit soft tissues with pinpoint accuracy. the softness and the violence of her.

& you are so right. 'ppl tried to make me something i'm not' - you can imagine beatrice in the catholic school uniform with the pleated skirts and the soft v-neck jumper & the blazer & every teacher saying 'now girls' and 'please, girls' all the damn time. how electric it must feel to her to hear the word boy on her skin.

(& yeah. my first fic which is s1 beatrice POV i literally have a tag that's like beatrice is autistic & that's how i write her in everything. ligaments, star wars au bea they r all autistic. a part of it is... i am autistic so it ends up maybe being a situation where especially in second person it's hard not to write autistically but shrug emoji, i also just think bea reads very autistic to me. i have a whole bunch of my own feelings & opinions on what autism looks like w/ beatrice specifically but that's not for this post)

tldr: yes you are very smart and very right

[majorshatterandhare]

I don’t know about you, but when I talk about Stranger I like to still refer to Brian’s character as being the wife. I love the idea of men being wives and women being husbands and non-binary people being whatever the fuck they want. Technically Brian could be playing a woman or nb, we don’t know, but I am of the belief that Brian is playing himself, so….

I love the idea of men being moms and women being dads, too. Especially gay trans people. Like trans man who gave birth to a child being the mom because that’s literally the role he took but that doesn’t change him from being a man at all. Five year old kid, pointing “that’s my mommy, isn’t he so cool!” Just. Fuck the idea that one person in the relationship needs to be the man and the other is the woman, but also queer people fucking up gender words gives me life. Fuck the idea that one person in a gay relationship can’t be more effeminate or more masculine because it “confirms” what homophobes think or that trans people can’t use words associated with their as/gab because it “confirms” what transphobes think. Queer people can do whatever they want.

Anyway, I love being trans and I love the mechs for their trans characters and gender fuckery and I love the mechs fandom because I don’t have to worry about transphones or even fucking exclusionist trans people. You know how many of us, here on tumblr, in this fandom use neopronouns?

[placentaeater999]

More Ramblings!

I forgot to tell you, my friends, that this May 10th or 11th marked 10 (ten) whole years since I first came out as a trans man!

(Im open to asks/questions/new friends, i believe education is an important part of the path to acceptance)

TL;DR: trans kids become trans adults, trans kids you absolutely fucking belong on this planet and you are loved and cherished, if not by your own family then by me bc im adopting you now as your older brother. My experience as a trans man is below the cut

I came out at the age of 11, back in early 2014, just before trans ppl and bathrooms had really started to catch the eye of the general public.

My dad was quick to support my medical transition, and while my ma took a moment, she got there. My dad ended up only really supporting me if i matched his machismo ideals, but this has gotten a lot better over the years.

I have been extremely INCREDIBLY lucky to be able to come out and successfully begin my transition at such a young age and every day im grateful for that. That being said, I lost a lot of family because of it. I lost close and important friendships because of it. I felt shame for such a long ass time because of it. I was bullied by students, parents, and teachers. I've been assaulted, Ive faced medical discrimination numerous times, I was the first trans patient at this psych ward i went to and got weird treatment. I have struggled a lot with feeling like i belong in this world. And now at the age of 21 I still do sometimes.

But

With all the bad things that've happened.

The family that stayed ive grown closer with. The new friends i FINALLY made in college are so incredibly supportive and I'm lucky that most of them are also trans or queer in some way (most of my friends are long distance but idc theyre my best friends). I wouldnt trade them for the world. I I havent had a typical teen experience but I've gotten to lead important projects for the safety of trans students at my high school, I've been a part of my university's qsa, I've gotten to serve on a panel for GLSEN Los Angeles where I worked with city officials on how to make la safer for trans/nb people. I've had my art about being trans get into galleries and I've won a couple awards for it. I get to attend other queer events near me and sell my art there and meet other queer folks in a town that's not a super safe place to be queer in.

I've gotten to see people grow and change their opinions on trans ppl bc now they know one and understand the concept better. Ive gotten the absolutely honor of people telling me that because I'm so open about myself that they began to feel comfortable exploring more about thelmselves.

I've lived more in these past 10 years than a lot of people will in 20. And as hard as its been I'm so FUCKING proud of how far I've come and I can't wait for the next 10.

It's not always glamorous, it's fucking hard as hell. For a long while I'd trade being a trans man for being a cis woman in a heartbeat, but now I wouldn't trade being trans for the world.