#not my best work...but i like the concept :'))

[eternal-love]

A NONSENSE CHRISTMAS

Pairing: Austin Butler x Female!reader

Summary: Austin is your grumpy boyfriend who doesn’t like your Christmas parties. But he really does like fucking you when people are over.

Warning: smut. Unprotected sex. Oral sex (fem receiving).

Note: it’s the best fucking time of the year. And I wanted to write something for you guys as a Christmas present because I love u guys so much 🫶

Not my best work, but it’s a simple gift.

The gif is of course by @aust-een, my girl. Props to her for helping me with the gif set!!!

It was the best time of the year, at least to you it was. Even the air changed during holidays, you loved the whole concept of holidays. Your family were as obsessed with holidays as you were. Your house became your main focus during your holiday break. You lived in a small but cozy home.

You had been baking cookies when he came to visit you.

‘Thank God I don’t live with her.’ He thought as he walked through the foyer of your house. Filled with garlands and lights. After overly-criticizing your Christmas decor he smiled at the sight of you. “Hey, babe…”

You smiled at him as you stopped putting sprinkles on the cookies. You rushed to him, wrapping your arms around him.

“I thought you wouldn’t come and see me.” You smiled up at him, taking in the scent of his cologne.

“I wouldn’t miss it. And I also brought you what you asked for.” Austin said as he lifted up a bag of chocolate chips.

“God, I love you. Thank you.” You pecked his lips, but with his free hand he held your jaw there as he kissed you back passionately.

After a while, you pulled away. Time was on you, you were holding a small gathering with your girlfriends later that day. He was annoyed by that, he had wanted today to be a date-day. But of course, your girlfriends were always a priority too.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for the party?” You asked Austin. But then again, it was going to be filled with just women.

“Being surrounded by tipsy women? What a nightmare, baby. I’d rather be locked in the bedroom.” Austin said as he caressed your cheek.

“Rude.” You slapped his chest playfully and he chuckled. You pulled away from him and sat down on the table again, you kept decorating cookies and cupcakes.

“I’m going to lay down in your bed, and watch some shitty tv. While your stupid friends and you watch Home Alone or whatever.” Austin told you, he took a seat right by your side. He reached out for a cookie and shoved it inside his mouth.

The white frosting smearing all over his lips, as if trying to tempt you, he licked his lips and then his fingers, staring right at you.

“What?” He played dumb, he kept sucking his finger to lick any excess of frosting.

“You’re tempting me…” You said, before he leaned in and took your lips in his, his kisses being warm and wet. Instead of butterflies you could say you felt snowflakes, appropriate for the holidays.

He lifted you up and made you sit on the table. He was in between your legs, devouring your mouth. He didn’t even hesitate before kissing down your neck, getting on his knees and parting your legs.

“I bet you’re as sweet as the icing…” Austin muttered as he rode down your underwear.

Oh; Austin ate pussy like a starved man. Like a thirsty man stuck in a dessert, where pussy was the last drop of water.

His plump lips pecked your cunt, then with his skilled tongue, he gave you a long lick. Making you throw your head back. Your hand going to tug at his sandy blond locks. He grunted.

His tongue was skilled, he could move it in ways you didn’t know it was possible.

“Yes… just like that.” You were able to moan out. He kept parting your legs with his hands, griping your thighs as hard as he could. Probably leaving bruises.

It was like he was going down the chimney, and it felt so fucking good. You wouldn’t mind being his Mrs.

You felt yourself getting closer to your release, as your moans began to quicken, whimpering as well. You started to roll your hips forward, if only he had been laying down. You would’ve ridden the fuck out of his face and he would have allowed it, of course. If that meant tasting your cunt, drowning in it was his dream.

You tugged at his hair one more time as you really approached your orgasm. Not wanting him to stop pleasing you, you could only get aggressive.

“Just like that, yeah… don’t stop.” You were able to moan out, grinning your teeth. That’s how worked up he got you.

Austin decided that even if he felt his tongue go numb, numb, numb, he would make you finish. And after a while, you finished all over his face, again, he devoured your cum as a starved man., he pulled away from your cunt and took deep breaths. Before standing up and leaning down to kiss you, making you taste yourself.

“As sweet as I imagined.” He whispered as he pulled away slightly. He was definitely still out of breath.

You were worked up too. A bit dazed still. He had just tongue-fucked you on the table, anyone would be dazed.

“Now, that was on my wishlist.” You chuckled out, smiling at him.

“The stocking are always better on the floor anyways.” Austin smiled, oh, he was horny as hell by now. But your friends would arrive in probably less than thirty minutes. He wouldn’t risk it.

All throughout the party you couldn’t concentrate. Just knowing that Austin was down the hall, doing God-knows-what, probably jacking off while you were here, still turned on. But having to keep a straight face for your friends while they spiked the eggnog.

But at some point you couldn’t handle the ache, the desire, whatever you were feeling. So you sneakily made your way down the hall, you entered your bedroom and Austin was laying there, plain white tee on, his jeans, no shoes. Watching some shitty movie.

“Woah, what are you doing down here?” He asked in confusion, you were never one to leave your own party.

“I want you to fuck me.” You blurted out, as you were quick to start unbuttoning your dress. Austin smirked as he sat up on the bed.

You didn’t even let him speak, you were already on top of him, your lips on a battle against his, grinding against his pelvis, feeling his already growing erection.

You pulled away, he was biting your lower lip. Oh, he adored you.

“You’re gettin’ coal this Christmas.” He groaned. With your free hands, you undid his pants.

Austin was quick to discard his pants and underwear, he didn’t need them anyways. Your underwear’s gone too, the man was a magician, that’s for sure. He sure knew how to take them off.

His hard cock already teased you. Austin had a huge North Pole. And you were thankful for it. Not many women could rejoice on the fact that their man had a big dick. You were the luckiest out of your friends.

You got into position, so horny and wet that you didn’t need anything to make it enter. You were a vixen tonight, and you would take your man for a ride.

As soon as he was slowly entering you, you saw his face contort in pleasure, eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

“Be quiet, you don’t want to ruin your fucking party, don’t you?” Austin said, his jaw clenched as you slowly sat on his cock, he was feeling the warmth of your cunt.

“Mhm…” you whimpered in response, your hands went to his shoulders as his hands went to your waist.

He was so deep in, he thought he would come just by you taking all his cock that good. You started moving your hips, rolling them, riding the hell out of Austin. Quiet moans and grunts escaped the both of you. You had to be quick, you didn’t want your friends to hear you fucking your man.

But Austin, if he could, and if he wanted to ruin your goddamn party, he would’ve fucked you until you were screaming his name.

“Taking me so well.” Austin told you and you rode him. “Poor Santa is going to know you’re a bad girl.”

He mocked your love for the holidays. You didn’t even answer, as you were too concentrated on getting off. The way your face contorted and the way your mouth was open to let out moans and whimpers only made everything more exciting. Also, your friends being down the hall. It was the perfect boost of adrenaline.

“Made specially for me. And no one else.” He moaned, his hands guiding your hips. “I don’t know how I got so lucky with the old man…” he breathed out, oh, he was in heaven. “…so that you ended up being my present.”

Just him saying that pushed you to the edge, but then, with his thumb he started touching your clit. That’s when you knew you were in for a goddamn ride.

He was rough, making you moan louder than you ever wanted to. You were sure your friends heard you.

“Let ‘em hear you. Let them hear how much of a Christmas slut you are. How much you’d rather get…” his voice cracked as you rode him so well, he found himself getting closer and closer. “…fucked by your man than watch your silly movies with them.”

Another loud moan escaped your lips.

“I do rather getting you to f-fuck me…” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck, your breathing on his neck.

“At least you’re warming me up.” Austin grunted, his hands went from your hips to your ass, squeezing it, making you go as deep as possible., his hips bucking up.

That’s when he hit that sweet spot.

“Austin!” You moaned, it was a pornographic moan. One that only a pornstar could do. Yet you were doing it, one calm evening when you’re friends drank hot chocolate in your living room.

Austin started chuckling, he wanted to see you try and act normal once he made you finish.

But soon enough he felt himself getting closer too. He kept bucking his hips until inevitably, he finished inside of you, you rode down your orgasm. Laying your forehead against his.

“Go back, go.” Austin said as he softly shoved you onto the bed.

No after care today. He was still very much annoyed at your Christmas get together.

“But-“ you tried to protest, you could stay here but again, your fucking friends were probably already waiting for you to go back, but they most definitely heard you getting railed.

“You organized this. A host should never leave their invites.” He said with a smirk.

Knowing that what he said was true, with wobbly legs, you tried to put on your dress and act normal. But as soon as you were going to get yo form bed again, he grabbed your arm.

“We’re not finished yet.” He told you.

Of course, it wasn’t over just yet. His package was too big to gift-wrap. He’d probably bed you a thousand more times to be satisfied.

And you wouldn’t even complain, after all, you needed that Charles Dickens like you needed air to breathe.

[skulkingfoxes]

A post-mortem of "Good Morning, Rose"

A few weeks ago, I posted my addition to the comic anthology GLIMM*R, a short comic called "Good Morning, Rose".

The reaction to it has been so uplifting and exciting. It really seemed to struck a cord with people, which, really, the best thing for me to hear as a creator. I absolutely love writing and making short comics, you can do much with so little, explore such interesting stories. The feedback I've gotten has been very heartwarming! It makes me want to explore short stories even more!

But, first, I want to talk about some of my feelings and about the process of making "Good Morning, Rose". This got a bit long, so you'll have to indulge me a bit. You should also read the comic first before reading this. Don't worry, it's only 8 pages.

Now the preamble is out of the way, lets go back to the beginning.

The idea of "Good Morning, Rose" was a nugget in my brain for a long time! Originally it was actually from the Dreamwalker's point of view, where she was a faceless entity who had a long term relationship with Rose and was trying to figure out how to explain that their relationships only were in Rose's dreams. It was a story about seeing, accepting, and loving each other truly and fully, and the trials and tribulations of getting there. Also a cute girl with an ancient eldrich being is always fun to explore.

A lot of it was too convoluted, emotionally and storywise. It also required to get into what the Dreamwalker actually was, which I ended up really not liking. So, ultimately, the idea didn't work, and I put it down. I ended up going to do my short comic Twigs instead.

When I was invited into the wlw anthology GLIMM*R and was told that the theme was "dreams", I decided to take another stab at the concept. This time, I inverted the pov, it's now Rose's story. And instead of a long term relationship, it was about the powerful first feeling of a perfect (maybe even too perfect?) first date.

One of the hardest thing to write in romance is getting readers to care about the relationship in the first place. To have the readers believe in the character's feeling, to be invested in their romance. This is even harder to do when you only have 8 pages to do it. Focusing it around a first date helped a lot in that case. There I'm not trying to sell that these two character will love each other forever and forever, just the fluttering first butterflies of realizing you're developing feeling for someone. It's why I leave it so open-ended about whether the two of them meet again at the end of the comic, or even if it was real in the first place. It's just not the point of the story.

That's something important about writing short stories, I find. You really have to hone in on an idea, on a thought. Take a simple idea and try to find all of the interesting layers. It's too easy to try to stuff a short story with too many ideas that ultimately go unfulfilled. In fact, the first draft of the comic, at the time called "Dream Date", there was a big problem with this and the pacing.

Here, take a look at the first stab at the roughs:

(BTW, there is something so fun about roughs for me lol. The art is so kinetic and loose, all about just getting the story across)/

As you can see, a lot of the ideas and imagery made to the final version of the comic. But both the initial readers and I agreed that the beginning and end were good, but the middle was messy and slowed things down. You can also see that I got stuck in the same problem I did when I first conceived of the story, it's bogged down trying to understand the Dreamwalker in a way that actually hurts the story. You simply dont have any room for bad pacing a short comic like this. I need to focus more on the character's and their emotions and exploring their actual relationship rather than blandly trying to explain the situation. A friend also suggested that I should hone in on the fluid dream-like aspects of the first couple of pages, especially since it's so fun to explore in the medium of comics. So I got to work gutting it out and trying again with the new, much stronger imo, direction.

Also there were some issues with the page format that needed changes for printing, thus the final spread had to be split up. Which is a shame, but oh well, it still works. I also honed in a lot more on Rose and her insecurities. I ended up putting a lot of myself into Rose. I'm glad readers seems to able to relate to her.

After figuring out the the story and the pacing, I went and, well, made the comic. Once you've done as many comic pages I have at this point, once you figure out a process, the actual drawing is fairly straightforward. Eventually, after thinking, and drawing, and toiling, and revising, and thinking hard about my life choices, I come out of the other end of the tunnel with a comic. One that I ended up really liking. One that other people ended up liking, which is always crazy to me.

I got a lot of interesting reactions to the comic. One demographic thinking it was sweet, wanting more of it (always a flattering thought), and enjoying the romance. Other remarking on the bittersweetness of it all, finding your soulmate in a dream, maybe never to see them again if they were even real in the first place. There were a lot of people remarking how they had a similar dream, one where they met someone they seemed totally and completely convinced that they were real and told the dreamer so, until the dreamer woke up. There was one person who asked if I had met the dreamwalker myself. Alas, my dreams are not this romantic and straightforward.

But all of us can hold hands, nod at each other, united by one universally true statement: big eldritch lady hot.

There's a lot of little bits I can talk about, like how Rose's dress is actively modeled after selkie dresses because I think they're cute, or some other trials and tribulations. But I think I've finished all I have had to say. I hope you enjoyed this and will stick around for my future projects! I definitely want to explore more short stories in the next year, especially as I am illustrating big graphic novels for my day job and don't have the time or energy for huge projects.

Till then, thank you so much! Happy holidays and have a good new year!

[windvexer]

Hiya Chicken, hope all is well with you! Something’s been on my mind and I would love your perspective.

The thrust of it is: can the will of the universe (if there is such a thing) override spellwork?

For context, I lost my job earlier this year, and have been working some magic to get re-employed (along with a metric shit ton of mundane legwork). None of it has been fruitful, and in attempting to troubleshoot, I realized that several of my spells had conditions along the lines of “this new job will serve my highest and best self.”

I’m still a novice at casting – frankly, I’ve not had much success with *any* magic (😞) – so I’m guessing the more immediately pertinent issue has to do with raising power/magical headspace. But, I’m curious if that nebulous “highest and best” would get in the way of producing results.

Also, where exactly does that language originate?? I think I’ve seen it when people talk about petitioning the universe for guidance, or getting in touch with your purpose/path in this life, but is that from a certain tradition or set of beliefs? And if everyone has a pre-determined purpose (or something else that counts as becoming your highest and best self), would including such a statement cause spells to fail if whatever you’re casting for doesn’t align with that purpose? Because real talk, my unemployment has run out and I don’t have time to wait for the highest and best job any more.

Thanks so much for your time, I appreciate you!!

It's New Age.

FUCK your highest/best self.

Even if it exists it can go suck a room temperature limp pickle.

Bear with me my guy. Let's be bears together, peacefully watching the sunrise of this idea over the serene forests of wisdom:

What in the good fuck is the point of being a witch if not to DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE SHIT UNIVERSE HAS DELEGATED FOR YOU.

It is changing fate.

It is CHANGING FATE.

WITCHCRAFT IS CHANGING FATE.

THEREFORE HOW CAN YOU DO THAT IF YOU JUST ASK THE UNIVERSE TO KEEP DOING WHAT ITS DOING?!

"Hi I believe in this life I have been assigned a True Goal and Best Outcome. I don't know what it is! The Universe could decide it's in my best interest to never escape poverty so my soul can learn some shit. But whatever this Best Outcome is, I will obey it :) blindly :) Spells, go do my bidding! But not if they change my fate. I'm on those train tracks, baybeee. Full speed ahead towards the same place I've been going since birth."

YOUR SPIRITUALITY FOR HOW YOU CHOOSE TO STRIVE TO BE A GOOD PERSON, AND THE PERSONAL WORK YOU DO TO BETTER YOURSELF, SHOULD PROBABLY BE INTENTIONAL I BET.

What is your highest good? Because I kind of feel like you shouldn't leave that up to a nebulous force you don't understand. My guy, and I mean this in the best possible way, you don't even know the widely popular faith (New Age) these beliefs are coming from. I don't think you understand this concept of The Universe; and yet you seem to be willing to place your fate in its hands.

And I think you may also be horrified by the realization that you are ceding autonomy of your ambitions, your goals, your needs, even the very core of your morality, to some fucking Power or Presence or whatever.

What is your highest good? I'm sorry, I mean this genuinely - you do not get to let someone else decide that for you. We all have to read some philosophy and smoke weed and look at the stars with friends and decide for ourselves what it means to be a good person who lives well. Many of us will grapple with this our entire lives.

There is no shortcut. You can't be your best self by doing whatever you want and delegating the decision making to some outside force, hoping that a smarter and more benevolent power will just cancel out any bad decisions you make based on a rubric you don't understand.

If we do have Highest Selves and soul evolution, I do not believe we can evolve based on always letting someone else make the final call for us.

YOU CAN HAVE GUIDANCE. You can have help. You can have plenty of it!!

That's what the witch's familiar is for. That's what tutelary spirits are for. That's why so many people turn to gods for guidance. You can research someone, or ask for a specific kind of help, and say, "hi I want to cast a job spell but I don't know sorcery great, can someone help me craft this so that I don't end up doing something disastrous?"

That's what I do all the time! I'll be about to do some stupid shit about twice a week, but the spirits who love me and help me are like, "Hey! please do not do that sweaty :) That would be Bad," and I listen to them, because they are not nebulous faraway forces; they are my very good friends whom I have known for years and trust completely.

But at the end of the day, they can't make decisions for you. A very creepy truth, that I believe is actually true, is that gods and spirits of Witchcraft will not make decisions for you. They will not cancel out spells if it's not in your "highest good." They will let you do anything you want in your own worst interest.

They will help you and they will guide you. But it's like I said: you can't end up being your best self by doing whatever and hoping someone else picks up the slack.

I don't think it's possible to ever achieve any highest good or best self by never making an actual decision.

And that's what it is, I think. That's what it is when you say, "let me have a job if someone else thinks it's a good idea."

That's not your decision. That's not your choice. That's not your power. That's raising your hand in the back of class and hoping teacher will call on you.

Fuck the Universe. Fuck the highest good. How about some of that live deliciously shit? When do YOU get to eat? Your highest self must be stuffed at the table of delicacies harvested from every moment of your life that you sacrifice to it while you are here with your unemployment run out.

Look in The Universe's eye and tell it to start calling you daddy.

Command. Do not ask, do not intend. Force; compel. Dominate.

next I visualize that the candle is full of prosperous energies if Earth-Goddess wills it in my highest good- NO.

"Listen to me. Listen to me, Earth. Listen to me, Sky. Listen to me, my own Soul. For 27 goddamn years I have been doing whatever I think you want me to do. Now you're all going to do what I want to do. It is not my normal voice that speaks, but the voice of my power. The power within me laces every word, it seeps into the air like water into paper."

Do you feel like someone is suddenly squeezing you by the throat? Do words suddenly become hard to find? Do you feel a bit dizzy? Do you have a strange moment where you can't remember why you started any of this, like you're not sure how you got there? You're on the right track.

"On this day of Jupiter, on this hour of Jupiter, I am giving a command. I command that the magical pathways of this candle be opened, so that the free-flowing and freely given benevolent powers of Jupiter will empower and charge my spell."

(Do not command Jupiter, of course. We're engaging in a little courageousness, not trying to get struck by lightning)

"I do not need to visualize the movement of energies. I know the truth because I have commanded the truth and I am a creator god born into this flesh: The candle is filled with the power of a God, I have the ability to channel the freely-given power of one of the Seven Governors whom has been worshiped by humans since the start of time, it is here and I have claimed it as is my right, as was offered to me:

This candle spell will bring me the fate I desire, because I have designed that it will occur, and no god, spirit, beast, or man will stand in my way."

It should feel fucked up, my friend. It should give you stage fright. It should make your palms sweat and your stomach queasy. It should give you the same emotional sensation as having a heartbreaking conversation that you know will change a relationship forever.

Sorry, reality. Sorry, fate. It's just not working out. And since we can't get divorced, you two need to shape up your act because right now I'm in charge of this polycule. When the spell is over, we can be equals again.

And if you do it right, it should make you have to sleep for probably about a week. If your health allows it of course, I recommend not trying to restrict carb intake for the next few days. Keep headache medicine on hand also.

Thank you for being a bear with me. I hope you enjoyed this serene forest of wisdom.

[cometconmain]

I have someone who comes to groom my dog because I physically can't keep up with it. He's extremely good at his job.

He also thinks Trump isn't all that bad a guy, the Democrats are the anti-human rights party, had no idea the Supreme Court was a thing/is controlled by Republicans and that's why so many human rights are being rolled back in America, refuses to actually use his privilege of having a preferential voting system to not have to vote for the two major shitty parties because he insists on believing nothing good has been done despite numerous proving points to the contrary in his own life let alone others' lives, thinks climate change is a hoax and can't wrap his head around why university studies need to be checked for a donor list and a fossil fuel company supported 'study' isn't reliable actually, hasn't even learned the most basic empathy concept of "you not suffering from a problem other people suffer from doesn't make that problem less important/you should care about people whose lives you don't experience", outright said with his full chest that maybe we should racially segregate the Olympics again actually, and a number of other toxic to downright rancid things I would have just written him off and slammed the door in his face for last year let alone a few years ago.

Don't get me wrong. Talking to him is fucking EXHAUSTING and I feel physically disgusting afterward having to just calmly listen to all these things he spouts which have historically resulted in entire groups of people being targeted for genocide and numerous other human rights abuses when left unchecked and allowed to fester at the societal level.

BUT HE LISTENS WHEN I CHALLENGE HIM.

I can see him actually seeing me as a human being worth listening to. He's older than me and definitely been down way too many right-wing rabbit holes for me to pull him onto the surface any time soon. But I'm giving him things to chew on and hopefully if we're lucky I've planted some seeds which will eventually grow into some semi decent human being plants one day. He's really ignorant and clearly under-educated and that itself isn't his fault and biting his head off isn't remotely going to make up for that gap and is only going to drive him further into the arms of whatever fucked up extremist conservative groups he's been listening to.

He is reachable. He's just also a very long project I only get to work on for an hour at a time every 6 weeks.

And some of the things I've said which I think were part of what got through to him involved showing empathy for him being a single father(? I may have mixed that up with someone else but I think he is) with a disabled kid. He shows empathy for disabled people because he's the father of one (and probably is neurodivergent himself I believe but unsupported and doing his best to give his son the support he didn't get from the sounds of it).

But yeah.

Listen: you don't have to take shit to the face if the person is solely malicious and trying to hurt you. No one is obligated to meet that with kindness and anyone saying otherwise can get fucked. There is a limit to how much bullshit someone can cop while the bullshitter acts like any emotional response to their bullshit is unreasonable/out of nowhere and that is valid on the part of the person copping the crap.

However, if you a) can handle coping long enough to break down those walls with unexpected kindness/it isn't dangerous for you to try that method (VERY IMPORTANT. PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE DETAILS. DON'T TRY THAT ON SOMEONE WHO IS ACTIVELY THREATENING/DANGEROUS TO YOU), or b) can tell it's soft bigotry/general ignorance driving the otherwise yuck things being said, do give the compassion and patient education route a try.

I've had numerous instances of me holding shitty ignorant beliefs I had no idea were actually harmful. The people biting my head off didn't get to me. The people who took the time to see I was just ignorant and under-educated on the matter (and hadn't yet developed the empathy for a group I didn't belong to) taking me aside and patiently dealing with my idiocy long enough to explain things to me in a way that got through my skull (and eventually into my heart as well) were the ones who fundamentally improved me as a person. I still have plenty of things I always have to work on. But I can tell you now I would be much MUCH worse without those patient, kind, educational interventions by people who could tell the difference between malice and ignorance.

The same applies to everyone else.

Human beings are human beings. All of us. Re-humanising each other is the last thing any of the politicians and extremist groups want us to do BECAUSE IT WORKS. IT BREAKS THE WARPED MODEL OF THE WORLD THEY PORTRAY AS REALITY TO DIVIDE US AND KEEP US ALL AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS INSTEAD OF CUTTING OFF THE FOOD SOURCE FOR THEIR WEEDS AT THE ROOT.

When we remind a hurting person that we are a person too, not the bogeyman the extremist groups paint us as, it shakes their warped worldview to the core. It makes them think. It makes them QUESTION. It makes them look at the flower the 'evil' Pride-pin wearer gave them because no one gave them flowers when their mother died and their hate begins to crack at the seams.

The things the world teaches men hurts men too. Teaching them they DON'T have to subscribe to that mentality all the way down to the roots of the patriarchy weed is the best and most effective way of cutting that mentality off at the source. Even if you struggle to empathise with men because you've been hurt; ok, valid. But it is demonstrably more effective, sustainable and long term changing to just get rid of all of it by addressing their pain and showing them how much healthier and happier they can be just in their own life let alone others' lives by casting off the system that hurts them too.

I'm pretty sure I'm just rehashing the same points here, sorry, but the concept of deradicalisation as a healing and long term change tool has been my social justice special interest this year so talking it out helps it solidify in my own head too. (And gives me strength to deal with bullshit because it reminds me it's worth copping what I can personally handle in order to get someone to think, change and grow, one exhausting person at a time).

part of the reason i love how bell hooks talks about masculinity is that she shows real compassion towards men suffering from the effects of toxic masculinity. she was conscious of how we need to unlearn the ways we talk about men + masculinity just as much as we need to unlearn the same for women + femininity. so many times ill see someone talking about toxic masculinity like (hyperbolizing here but only slightly) “these FUCKING STUPID BABY BITCHES won’t MAN UP and go to a therapist!!!” and like. i get the anger. but you see feminists recreating patriarchal manhood by only promoting good behaviors through patriarchal frameworks. any use of the term “real men” is bad because it reifies the idea that manhood is a special title you must earn, and it is something possible to fail and fake. & as important as it is to promote sexual equality + the pleasure of non-cis-men, lots of people are essentially still working with the idea that men need sexual prowess to have worth but just shifting it slightly so there is more emphasis on women’s pleasure. but I want cis men to think about their partners’ pleasure because they care about their partners, not because they need to check a box in order to keep their man card. and don’t get me started on small dick jokes– and the absolutely pitiful excuse people will use that “well, I don’t believe it, but misogynistic men get upset when I say it, so it’s okay!”

basically bell hooks is so fucking right. in order to create loving men we need to love men, simply for being alive, whether or not they are performing. as much as we need to actively unlearn misogyny (and we do), it’s equally vital we unlearn patriarchal ways of seeing manhood. we can’t just assume that taking a feminist perspective automatically means there is no work to be done there.

[fungateshortcakes]

Personal attention ASMR

Don't ask questions just run with it

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader

Summary: You use Logan as your ASMR model

Wordcount: 2.4k (this was supposed to be a drabble what happened)

Warnings/tags: none, english is not my first language, fluff, established relationship, reader is gender neutral but is described to wear acrylic nails, sharp or dull challenge, hair brushing, face tracing, nail tapping, face masks, implied that reader wifes Logan up in the future lol

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The cozy glow of a string of fairylights illuminated Logan as he sat in his armchair, a beer in hand, watching you fiddle with your - what did you call it? - ASMR setup? You struggled to get your camera into the right position on your tripod without knocking off the little hypersensitive microphones that extended from each side.

Logan sat there with an amused smile, but as his eyes wandered over the coffee table that was packed with various tools he couldn't name, facemasks that ran too pink and glittery for his liking- in that moment he thought, why the hell had he agreed to this? Your damned puppy eyes and sweet kisses, that's why.

"You're seriously gon' make me do this?" he asked you, standing up from his seat to stretch. "You agreed to it" you pouted before laughing. "Do I have to let you sign something next time?"

Logan rolled his eyes playfully at your words, shaking his head and lifting his hands dismissively "Nah, I'm kiddin'. I'll do it. But just cause it's you" he replied, helping you connect everything. You gave his rugged cheek a biiig kiss "You're the best boyfriend ever"

Logan chuckled and gave you back some sloppy, over the top kisses to your own cheeks until you were grossed out giggling. "I won't take the blame if your lil' fans don't like it though"

You shook your head. "I am sure they will love it. And you have nothing to worry about except being relaxed and looking pretty. I'll handle the rest" you teased him, smoothing out the thick neutral grey coloured blanket on your carpet in front of the couch, adding a matching pillow for Logan to rest his head on.

He shimmied into position on the ground so he looked directly into the camera hanging over his face. You made sure that his face was entirely in frame, fiddling with the contrast controls of the camera. The warm light from the fireplace contoured the left side of his face while the cold fairylights illuminated the right side of it, creating a interesting and aesthetical pleasing scene. This was gonna be great!

After everything was tuned to perfection, you knelt down over Logans head so you had all the access to his face that you needed. You had even gotten new acrylic nails for the occasion!

You rubbed your hands together "So, one of the most important rules of ASMR is no talking, only whispering. Okay? We want the ambience to be nice and peaceful" you explained excitedly to him. You knew that Logan knew what he was getting into - somewhat. The concept of ASMR wasn't too foreign to him. That comes with having a better half that does ASMR content for a living, but you still wanted to make sure.

Logan scoffed, snorting "Right. Peaceful. That's me"

You slapped his chest, shooting him a mocking glare in the process. "Shush now. I want to start" Logan blew a rasberry at you but quickly settled down after you switched on the camera for recording.

You showed your freshly manicured nails into the camera, tapping the crisp acrylic before slightly scraping them over Logans face "Welcome to another personal attention ASMR. My model for today is my beautiful boyfriend. He was kind enough to be of assistance" you whispered into the microphones, your voice soft and quiet.

Logan huffed at your words, only a small smile playing at his lips but he chose to not say anything and let you work. "We will be starting by tracing his face." you cooed gently, tapping the tips of your nails against his cheek with your left hand while your right hand mimicked the movements off-screen on a wooden board "Oh yeah, forgot to mention, he is a lumberjack, so he is more wood than man" you giggled into the mic, making Logans eyes roll at the corniness. But he couldn't deny that it felt nice.

You drew tingly patterns on his face, each sounding like scratching across crisp wood. You poked three dots under his eyes, drew an x on his forhead over and over again, traced over his frownlines and trailed your nail over his face in a continous line until you gently proded at his lips, making it sound like you knocked on them. He gave the tip of your nail a brief kiss, making you sigh out a smile into the mic. You tapped his face a few more times until you decided to switch up the trigger.

"Next, we will be playing a very popular little game" you spoke in a shushed tone, creating a bit of anticipation before you showed the camera two tools. One was a make-up brush, the other a kind of metal dermaroller with rotating spikes. You brought the tools to Logans head after you parted his hair to your liking "I'm going to touch your scalp with different textures. One is dull-" you started to explain, dragging the soft bristles of your brush over his head "-and the other one is going to be sharp like this" you ended, dragging the spiky roller across. "You feel the difference?" Logan nodded at your question, a low grumble sounding in the back of his throat.

"Good. I want you to tell me which one you feel, sharp or dull. Close your eyes for me, baby" you cooed quitely, humming as Logan did as he was told.

You angled his head a bit to have easier access, taking your time to part his hair neatly in a different location than before until you were ready to start. You stippled the brush against his head, waiting for an answer. "Dull" he whispered and for a second, you felt your chest tighten with joy. He was actually playing along and taking this seriously, it warmed your heart. When you said he was the best boyfriend, you meant it.

You switched the tool, drawing a line with the spike roller from the back all the way in front to his hairline, picking it up again and waiting for his reaction. "Sharp" he murmured and wow, his voice was very relaxing like this. You always found his voice soothing, but his deep whispers were another level. "Very good" you praised and a little proud smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. You decided to use the sharp roller again, letting it hit his skin only shortly before stopping. "Sharp" he replied, enjoying the way the tool made strong tingles errupt from the very top of his head all the way down his back. This was nice.

Your fingers raked through his hair, choosing another part of his head to part. You swiped the tip of your brush over him next, nodding as he whispered "Dull" to you in a hushed voice. You took your time to admire his face for a moment. It wasn’t tense nor taught, the usual frown line between his brows smoothed out and barely visible.

Another stipple of your brush "Dull", another turn of your roller "Sharp".

If you asked Logan, you could do this forever. He would prefer to be completely silent, though. And for you to only use the spiky tool.

To tease him a bit, you used both the brush and the dermaroller at the same time, softly giggling at the way his nose scrunched a bit in confusion. "Come again?" he whispered, a gruffness in his tone. You did, watching him lose faith in himself. As you repeated it the third time, he cracked open an eye and tried to keep his reaction as quiet as he could as to not mess up the video "That ain't fair, sugar" he said a little louder than intended, making you softly giggle into the microphone.

You put your stuff away, ready to move onto the next trigger. Your nails found his coarse beard, scratching along the thick mutton chops in circles while you explained what you were going to do next. "Now that we have messed up his hair quite a bit, I think it’s time for a bit of hair brushing" you whispered, cooing at the way Logan purred almost like a cat as you played with his beard. You kept that in mind for next time.

You sat back and got a neat brush, showing it off to the camera, tapping your nails against the plastic backside a little, before letting your fingers glide over the bristles slowly, softly whispering "bruushhh, bruushhh" over and over again.

When you started, Logan fought the urge to roll his eyes into the back of his head. Your slow strokes just hit the spot, tingles and shivers exploding on his head. If the little spike tool felt like heaven already, then this was absolute nirvana. Now this was something you could do for the rest of his life.

Your gentle whispers of brushing fell on deaf ears as Logan tried not to hum at the feeling of the bristles scratching over his scalp. You combed through his whole head of hair multiple times, changing out the brushes and combs from time to time to not make it boring for the viewers and to give Logan different sensations.

When you were done, you settled on scratching his scalp with your nails instead, both hands under his head, massaging in deep circles. "Oh wow" Logan couldn’t help but murmur, closing his eyes for a second to stop them from trying to roll back. You could practically see the shudder that went through him at that, his mouth slightly agape.

As you stopped to get your next pieces of equipment, Logans eyes fluttered open, darting around as if he had just randomly woken up in the middle of nowhere, completely disoriented. It was cute.

"Last but not least, I have some face masks prepared for him." you muttered, presenting the camera a glittery, foaming face mask, swirling a brush through the bowl it was in, the soft crackling of the bubbles being picked up by the mic.

"But first, we will lightly prep his skin. Close your eyes for me, love" you whispered to Logan who gladly let his eyes flutter shut. You used a clear face primer, putting it on his face in little droplets all over before moving to get your sparkly water globes. You turned the globes in your hand, a satisfying glug glug glug emitting from them, iridescent glitter swirling inside. You brought them together at the bottom ever so gently as to not make them break over Logans face, a sound you either loved or hated coming from them as they bounced off of each other quickly.

Then you let the round, bulbous sides glide over Logans face to spread the primer and work it into his skin. At first he slightly jumped from the sudden coldness, but it didn’t take long for him to ease into it as the bulbs warmed up.

You were swiping the smooth globes over his skin effortlessly, removing the puffiness from under his eyes, massaging his cheeks in circular motions and easing any kind of headache as you glid over his forhead and temples. He could really really get used to this.

Like with everything else, you ended this treatment far too soon for his liking. And if he didn't know any better, he would actually start to protest.

The next thing he knew, he felt something cold and gel-like being pressed to his under eyes. Nurishing eye patches - sparkling, probably. Then he heard you rub your hands together, before your palms landed on his cheeks. The foam on your hands crackled loudly at the contact, the bubbles bursting and popping on his skin. You massaged it in, cooeing and making sounds with your mouth. His head lolled a little, too relaxed and sleepy for his own good. But he wasn't about to fall asleep, nuh uh, he wouldn’t fall asleep because of some ASMR stuff.

By the time your hands were back on his scalp to let the foam mask really sink in before washing it off, he was gone. Out like a light

At first, you hadn't even noticed, mindlessly scratching and massaging his head thoroughly with your nails and admiring his relaxed face, thinking about how lucky you were to have him. You had boyfriends before that laughed in your face when you asked them to be part of a video. When they realised you weren't joking, they got mad and lashed out, telling you that not even over their dead body would they sit there like a dumbass and have you whispering weird bulshit in their ear. You were disappointed, a simple no would have done it. But they were angry like it was something deeply personal. Not Logan though, he was a sweetheart.

He acted like he didn't want to, that he was only doing this because you batted your eyelashes at him, but deep down you knew he liked doing these things for you, seeing you so happy and excited was enough. If he was truly against it, he wouldn’t be in this position right now.

You liked to think he was secretly actually enjoying this - imagine your face as you realised he had fallen dead asleep, softly snoring as you wiped the foam mask off his face ever so gently as to not wake him up. "He has fallen asleep, guys" you whispered into the mic, the giddy smile could be heard from your voice even though your face wasn’t visible. You couldn't believe it. Your big, beefy teddy bear of a boyfriend fell asleep because of a little pampering.

You cooed softly, rubbing the last oil treatment onto his skin, being extra careful and gentle with him. "If you liked this video, leave a like, consider following my channel and leave a comment if you want to see more boyfriend content" you said in a hushed voice, coddling the face of your sleeping boyfriend. "See you next time, lovelies!" you whispered, booping Logans nose before switching off the camera.

Your boyfriend continued to snooze even after that, laying there unbothered with a glowy face. And it that moment you knew, maybe it was time. Just maybe, a few videos later, you could welcome your fans to another ASMR video with your husband.

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This idea came to me so randomly, i hope you guys still like it. Let me know in the comments please and leave a like, reblog if you want <3 I love to see it🎀

[d-emeter]

babee i just have to let this out: i was watching one of those yt tarot video of your soulmate to cheer my non-existent love life after receiving 3 wedding invitations and i got "different background/lives abroad, built/fit structure, gives importance to his hair, nice eyes, a bit tanned skin from working outside" guy and the image of john freaking mactavish's blue eyes, in his compression t-shirt under las almas sun with his stupid mohawk is all i can think about asld;kasl;fk (im east asian so that checks out the different bg/lives abroad aspect lol). do whatever you want with this information 🤣 love your writing!!

oh he might just be your soulmate idk what to tell you. this also gave me some soap with an international partner brainworms enjoy

Soap with an international partner — reader x Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish

Now I will not pretend otherwise, the first thing this man will do when he finds out you're from another country is ask you to teach him cursewords in your language (or in your accent/slang if you're from another english speaking country). This immediately devolves into dirty words once you start dating.

If you're facetiming your family abroad, best believe this man is in frame too, talking with your mother like he's known her for years. If they ever come to visit or you visit them, he also very quickly becomes the favourite 'uncle' to any kids in the family. No getting rid of him now, bonnie.

If you ever get homesick, he's pulling out all the stops to make you feel better. I'm talking cooking your favourite dishes, decorating your apartment with your national flag, playing music from your country. When it gets really bad, he already has the plane tickets purchased.

When visiting your home country, he insists on taking those garish tourist photos in cheap knock-offs of your country's traditional clothing. Will also make you do this when you visit Scotland, then hangs the photos next to eachother on the fridge.

His notebook is filled with little words you've taught him, usually along with a tiny sketch of said object or concept (he's a visual learner).

He'll never show you before he's sure he has you locked down, but he started googling and making a list of baby names in your language after the first date.

And finally, a few years down the line, he'll end his vows by telling you "I love you" in your language.

[gemissleeping]

Angel of Small Death | Part Two

Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader

Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader

Summary: It’s Seventh Year and you’re one of the ones who stayed. Reeling from the loss of your family in the midst of the war, you find a twisted sense of comfort in Mattheo. But your best friend Theo can’t help but feel you’re slipping away from him in more ways than one.

Read Part One here.

Length: 1.4k

Warnings: Haha... heyyyyyy (I feel really awkward rn, I feel I should beg forgiveness) so I might've been away for like... the whole year. But Merry Christmas?? I missed you guys and I missed writing sm. I heard you in the replies and I heard you in my inbox... so here it is!! I loved writing this as I'm easing back in. I love that so many of you loved it! Working on another part :) anyway drug use mentioned!! Toxic relationships!! Mature audiences! I love you all <3

“Where were you?” Mattheo asked as he threw his bag to the sun bleached grass beside you. It was the turn of Autumn, and the last thing you wanted was to be stuck inside doing arithmancy. The endless flood of numbers and charts made your head spin. 

“Here.” You answered simply, giving him a lazed smile from where you laid back in the grass. Matt sat down with a weighted sigh beside you, the skeletons of old leaves crunching beneath him. You looked to him for a moment, zoning in on the harsh set of his brow; the uncharacteristic tension he seemed to be carrying. 

“Well you shouldn’t be.” He wouldn’t look at you, perhaps just couldn’t. He was turned instead to the Black Lake, sprawling before you both like a mirror. The illusion only broken by the thin freckling of light rain upon its surface. It was all so easily disturbed. 

“It’s one class,” you sighed, feeling a creeping sense of guilt. “I don’t understand why you’ve got your knickers so twisted. As though you haven’t done worse.” You gave him an airy smile, which of course he didn’t return, still falsely captivated by the lake.

“I haven’t seen you since second. I just left Potions.” He looked at you then, the edge in his tone doing little to conceal the worry in his eyes. For the first time since you’d gotten to the lake, the dread you’d been so desperately trying to bury began to scratch at your chest again. The acute awareness that you had no concept of how long you had actually been down here setting in. Time was running past you like water, but you didn’t seem to be moving with it. 

“You’re high.”

Too late you remembered the remnants of the joint beside you, amongst the dead grass and weeds. The rough skin of Mattheo’s fingers now tainted with soil and ash. The betrayal in his voice made your stomach churn, now it was you who couldn’t look to him. 

“Only when we’re together, that was the deal.” He was upset with you, and somehow it felt unexpected. Your fingertips found the edge of your skirt, toying with it like a chastised child. He’d never been disappointed with you before, or perhaps you just hadn’t cared. You weren’t too sure which was the truth. 

“One class you might’ve gotten away with, but three?” His hands met his face mercilessly, the brunt of his frustration meeting there as he ran them across it. “Fuck, I mean what were you thinking?” Eyes on the ground, you continued attacking your skirt’s hem with a frown. The gentleness had returned, seeping into his tone. This was the part of him you needed. Whatever it was that was inside of you, this supposed grief, couldn’t be consumed. But at least he made it feel like something you could navigate; somewhere where you could find someone close to who you had been.

“Are you trying to torture me?” His words cut through the stillness of the water, the absence of a leaf adorned breeze.

“What?” The words tumbled out of you, feeble - flat. 

“Are you,” he repeated gently, your eyes locking as you turned to him, “trying to torture me?” His eyes held, earnest. The kind of vulnerability you’d only seen from him when you were alone at the end of the night and a bottle. “I just want to help. It’s the least I could-” Something within him cracked, made its way up his throat. Matt held his breath, looking away for a moment as though for privacy. You waited, not daring to do so much as move. His palms had returned to shield his eyes, but they would do nothing for his thoughts. After a sharp breath he rested an arm atop a bent knee. Head still hung low as the other moved to the ground, fingers sinking into the sharp needles of dry grass. “And you just- you keep throwing yourself into it. How am I supposed to keep you out of detention if you keep doing this shit?”

Of course. Of course he had been. You felt a fool for taking his admission to realise. Unlike you, the Carrows were not fools. It had not been your attempts at slipping away unseen or making yourself unnoticed that had saved you this past month. It had been him. What he had done in order to save your skin, you did not want to know. Your cheeks burned.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t realise that you… I’m sorry.” You had been foolish, and you had hurt him. Cost him God knows what. Your cheeks felt wet when you looked to him again, the cold air drying the salt of tears against the skin. There was nothing harsh about him, not the way people seemed to believe. He was so unlike the life that had been passed to him. Gentle, and kind, and somehow whole. Patched together with all of the pieces of himself still accounted for. It shouldn’t have been possible, yet he sat before you.

He reached out, his palms covering your cheeks, thumbs running beneath your eyes to wipe the salt away. He didn’t blame you, or anyone. He should have, but he didn’t. He tucked you into his side, wrapping his green tartan scarf snug around you as you both leant back against the large oak. 

“Do you at least have any left?” Mattheo whispered against your ear with a grin. Looking down to you, eyes alight with his usual mischief once more. You couldn’t help but grin back as you nodded, his lips moving to capture yours. He lingered against you, gentle and unassuming. There was nothing he wanted from you, no longer anything he wanted you to fix. You’d known it for a while now. Everything else; the drinks and powder and pills - their rush held no light to him. What had once been intertwined was starting to untangle. It would take time, but you would become whole again, and then you could be with him - without the rest of it.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Theo’s eyes were on Mattheo as soon as he had entered the dorm. As though he had purposely left dinner early so that he might get Matt in private. Theo didn’t have to speak, it all lay there; he’d been looking at Matt that same way all evening. And in fairness, Mattheo supposed, they hadn’t done much to cover the smell. But that wasn’t what this was about, not exactly.

“I didn’t give it to her.” Matt spoke plainly, throwing his potions textbook down on his bedside table without a care “She gave it to me this time, actually.” He didn’t know why he had said it. He knew it would only anger Theo, more than he already was.

“Bullshit.” Theo glowered from where he leaned upon his desk, “It’s always you.” Matt would have been more hurt if it hadn’t have been true.

“That’s not fucking fair man.” Mattheo sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed to face his friend. He began lazily untying his laces, having heard these sentiments from Theo before. Quite frankly he was growing tired of it; the constant overstepping. “Things aren’t good right now-”

“You made them that way.” There was a weight to Theo’s words; an implication. One that held Matt implicit in beliefs that he had buried; that chained him to his Father. Theo didn’t notice the set of his jaw change, didn’t notice him stop untying his laces - only decided to cut deeper. “You got her hooked when you should have helped her.”

“I am helping her.” Matt stiffened, eyes alight as the words left him. He knew where the lines rested; what was his fault and what wasn’t. He spent half his life trying to figure them out. He had a plan, to fix this. 

“She looks like shit.” Theo spat, coming to stand before him. The air in the room seemed to drop in temperature, a chill slicing through Mattheo as he met Theo’s gaze, unwavering. 

“We’re getting through this together.” He tried not to doubt it as he said it. They would clean up, together. They just needed time, he was sure they were close. They had to be.

“No. You’re driving each other into the ground.” Theo stated plainly, his voice low. “And when she gets too far down, it will be your fault.” Theo stepped back, eyes burning into Mattheo. He took a few steps back, before turning away. “Clean your shit up,” Theo mused as a bag of powder landed before Mattheo’s feet, “it’s getting all over everything.”

Taglist: @theodorenottswifeyy @obsessedwithceleste @lenoraslament @mayamonroem @simp-for-fantasy @bruisedbbby

Thank you for your love and patience, getting back to inboxes now. You are all incredible <3

[green-square-anon]

Two things about your primarch daughter posts just to not spam you.

I know you said he tries and all that. But it's so hard not to feel enraged at Dorn. There's being emotionally inept and then there's not trying. He reads like someone who dosen't TRY. He would have seen something. The kind of parent who never tells his child he loves them or he's proud of them? not sure what parental books he would find that didn't mention that and even then he would have to twist the words so hard to mean "actually I should just feed and clothe her, she'll know". I mean a parent child relationship where the CHILD "gives more than she recieves"? I want to slap him. It's the same feeling I get reading those reader or oc inserts where he's emotionally unavailble to his partner and I don't know if you've seen it since it mostly floats around 4chan spaces and 1d4/1d6chan. But that copypasta where someone talks about how others find Dorn boring but to them he's like that quiet family man at work who dosen't engage in watercooler talk and kinda opens up to his sons and I'm just wondering "wtf is his relationship with the mother" since she's never mentioned. Only with someone emotionally neglecting a child instead of a partner it is much worse. With partners I'm just thinking "leave his ass".

Thankfully I don't think he's THAT bad in canon and the fandom has flandarized him a bit. This is the same man who called Sigismund his "most beloved son" and lined the insides of his armor with fur to never forget the humanity of his grandfather or something along those lines.

On the other hand there's this bit in Echoes of Eternity before Sanguinius dies:

Dorn didn’t know what to say, when nothing seemed worth saying. He was not made for exchanges like these. Many thought him cold in these moments, even heartless, but he was neither. It was purely that defeat was alien to him, as was the quality of emotion shining in Sanguinius’ gaze. What was worth saying when no words were necessary? What did one say to a brother you barely knew, who had nevertheless fought beside you from the beginning to the end? Sanguinius had the answer without even needing to consider the question. ‘Farewell, Rogal.’ The Angel rose to his feet, and the holo tracked upward with him. ‘If we do not meet again in the flesh, know that it was an honour, being your brother.’ The Praetorian nodded to the Angel, wanting the right words, searching for them, and not finding them. The silence stretched out. It dragged. Sanguinius smiled, knowing. The hololith blinked away.

(For the people who like primarch x primarch I thinks there's great potential in Dorn having unrequited feelings for Sanguinius but that's a tangent). Yeah the man is emotionally constipated but he does TRY and in the time as well as the responsibility that comes with parenthood I think, can nearly garentee he would have expressed himself (side note but how the hell did he even get laid if he was this cold?)

Konrad. I know you most likely just didn't consider this (god that sounded unintentionally dickish, not like that, just that you mentioned not having considered the mother before) but I am a little gremlin for "LORE". What about handing the kid of to the mom instead of Vulkan unless mommy met some tragic end? In my oc verse (I'm not bringing that up to enforce lore, I'm saying this because these ideas are free for anyone who wants to build of of them) I intentionally made it so that Konrads waifu came from a family that was both large and tightnit (and relatively wealthy) so that even if Konrad went AWOL or just needed help there WAS that support network of uncles/aunts and grandparents to help. Even if the emotional support network on the fathers side was…. litterally noone. Or perhaps Konrad decided their must be primarch/astartes level protection, which would be smart, and didn't trust himself so "Primarch, but not me" was (to him) the best solution? That would be interesting as hell as a concept.

Primarchs + Daughters (2)

Finally finished the damn part two. Been kinda busy here and there with my new job but lo and behold, the one yall asked for. Soon enough, yall find out why it took me a while writing this one for the two main guys I had to add here.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Konrad Curze

A’right, I’ll open this one with the fact we all know that this man shouldn’t even be legally allowed to have children. I’m gonna be real for a hot second and admit that I stared at the screen for HOURS not knowing what to write because any poor little girl that is born from this guy will have the dubious privilege of being the most sheltered and hidden secret the Primarch ever kept close. With all those visions of death and inevitable doom mixed with the sudden power rush that fatherhood gave him, it left in its wake a perfect storm for this lunatic to develop a paranoid and obsessive need (NEED) to keep his daughter safe; something hard to achieve when he already knows the essence of his Legion. His fatalistic nature regarding his own future would suddenly clash violently with the Primarch’s new found protective stance concerning his child. It's almost sad to consider that this poor man GENUINELY wished to avoid becoming the monster his visions showed, but knowing that he’ll be balancing in the thin line of one day hurting his precious girl (or worse than that) it'll put him in the hard decision of having to let go of her eventually. He is no Perturabo, for that matter. In the rare and far away moments of lucidity, I can see Konrad choosing to protect the innocence and life of his child by trusting in the last person ANYONE might expect the Night Hunter would seek help: Vulkan. Honestly this is just plain sad, man.

Sanguinius

This is it! The golden boy, yall! We all know the kind of person Sanguinius is, but add a precious little daughter in the equation and all you get is the perfect example of textbook girl dad. No matter how busy this man is, somehow he’ll squish some playtime with his baby and enjoy every bit of it. Seriously, this guy acting like a dedicated father is worth being in a stockphoto image. His baby girl asks him to play tea party? Some astartes will find their Primarch hunched over, awkwardly holding a comically small cup between his thumb and index while his precious princess pretends to pour more tea for herself. The daughter of Sanguinius doesn't go a single day without knowing that her papa loves her a lot and when the man isn’t around, the Blood Angels Legion are close to keep her company to the point that even she calls them ‘big brothers’. No one is safe when she wants to play dress-up. The single problem I see with Sanguinius when raising his little girl is that he sins of being completely oblivious to the more mortal side of his daughter’s needs. He easily gets so wrapped up in his role of The Perfect Angel that he doesn’t realize his tiny princess has boundaries that are being constantly crossed, but since she feels the need to prove that she can be like her father, endures all those problems and refuses to seek help about anything. It becomes a kind of toxic mix considering how much Sanguinius is loved and adored by others, to the point that his daughter becomes like a coveted gem too by relation, making her need to prove her own ‘perfection’ an unconscious action the older she grows. I’m not even gonna touch with a ten feet pole the “fun fact” called the Red Thirst on this one because, let's be fair, that would require for me to write more than 3 pages with ONLY Sanguinius and his daughter in the spotlight and that’s only assuming his baby girl didn’t inherit it. I specialized in visual arts and marketing, not psychology jfc.

Ferrus Manus

It took me a while but after some investigating and more reading I can safely put this man in between the Papa-tier and ‘tough love’ guys. His practical mentality and belief of the strongest are (oddly enough) healthily separated from his parenting skills. This is one of the few Primarch that can see their daughter as an individual of their own and makes sure to be as present as possible in her life but the loyalty of this man to the Emperor is his own flaw. Not in the case that he’ll choose the Imperium before his little girl, but because it’ll put him in the dreading and guilty notion that he’ll always prioritize his daughter despite his oath to serve for the Great Crusade. Most of his brothers (except maybe Jaghatai and Konrad) just assume or don’t even think about the long term future of their daughters or simply presume that they will become a great part of the Imperium’s well oiled structure. Not exactly their fault since they never grew up with anything resembling normal. On the brighter and wholesome side (whiplash change!), this is a man who finds handmade gifts more meaningful and always makes sure to explain the reason behind them mostly out of the enjoyment of watching his little princess look so amazed at her papa’s skills. More often than not, Ferrus’ belief of the strongest would falter a little as he perceives the true fragile nature of his daughter and, even if she share the resilient blood of a Primarch, that isn’t enough to convince him that she isn’t vulnerable but instead of letting the worry fester, he’ll try to teach the girl the art of fighting. That’s where the ‘tough love’ kind of guy I mentioned comes out to light. He will not spare kind words during those moments of teaching, as he wishes for his princess to prevail any difficulty but he’ll make sure to always end any sort of training with “I love you so much that the idea of one day not being there to protect you, pains me beyond any form” to make sure that his harsh actions have a reason behind. Honestly, it's the kind of father-daughter relationship that possesses so many shades that makes its own drama novel. Good thing that uncle Fulgrim is always there to smooth the hard edges that may come in the future and makes up for the lack of spoiling the little girl deserves. Ferrus is not amused by it. Forgot to mention that the Primarch will be even more motivated to take off the metal of his hands, for he has yet to truly feel the warm and soft flesh of his baby’s hand. It's the one feeling he keeps missing and craves so much.

Angron

Oh man, another of the hard ones. Okay, if I managed with Konrad, I can tackle this bitch too. You need to comprehend that we are talking about a guy that has been so intimate with the meaning of pain that it's amazing he’ll be capable of ranging through other emotions that don’t involve fury into that combo too. That being said, this whole shitshow of being the father of a young girl can only be described as sad AND tragic. First off, Angron’s daughter wouldn’t even be allowed to leave her chambers at The Conqueror for obvious safety reasons and having her stay on Terra can’t be an option too, as Angron would rather be death than leave in a silver plate this one single pittance of good he helped to create under the light of the Emperor. That being said, any little girl born from Angron would be terribly isolated and one can’t even blame the Primarch for that as he, despite his disposition, finds his daughter as a genuine reflection of what he could never ever dream to have or be. That sometimes results in him feeling short and spontaneous moments of anger from the impotence of not being able to be close to his daughter, let alone console her with anything resembling compassion. This is a man that is horribly aware that he’s away from one sharp stab of the Nails to his brain to end up killing his little girl in one single swat of his hand. The moments of anything resembling fatherly love are few and very tense, for Angron has to constantly be focused on not letting the pain control his actions and that always looks as if he’s dismissing his child’s love language or actions. What else can I say that most people don’t know already? This is just a sad story waiting to end in tragedy and had it not been for how Sanguinius ended during the heresy, I can see The Great Angel taking Angron’s daughter under his care as the only consolation and promise to his corrupted brother before his demise. After becoming a Daemon Prince, Angron’s only genuine and foggy memory of his little girl is her crying while calling him with heavy despair. Goddamn I almost tear up with this one.

Roboute Guilliman

Look at my big nerd! One of the few guys that actually is humble enough to feel more human than any of his brothers… sometimes. I gotta say it, Roboute has the vibe of what happens when someone incredibly autistic suddenly becomes a parent; expect lots of books to try and be prepared for what entails to take care of a mortal baby. He’ll have a wholeass strict routine of activities and diets that you AND the baby must follow to ensure both of your health along with “fun facts” regarding a toddler’s development that half of the time lack the keyword ‘fun’ in there. Honestly, Euten will be a BLESSING sent, for she’ll be the one railing back the most extreme attempts of her adoptive son to try and raise his little princess like she was just another task of paperwork. Over all his quirks, the Primarch of the Ultramarines is absolutely trying his hardest to be a good father just as the one that raised him, but this is a man that half of the time ends up clumsily trying to spend time with his little girl only for it to backfire as he simply doesn’t understand how to entertain his daughter. Good thing the child will simply be happy to spend time with her papa despite his weird personality. More often than not, some of the astartes will see the young lady at her father’s chambers in a little booster chair beside him, doodling on some papers to pretend that she’s a big girl helping her papa with his very important job. It's probably the most adorable sight anyone can ever get the chance to see. Just like most of his brothers, Roboute isn’t that good at expressing his love towards his daughter with words, so he simply let his little princess be on his lap and hug her as if it will be the last time.

Mortarion

I’ve written enough of this man being a father that you all can get a wild idea of how he will be when confronted with parenthood. Even if he believes himself to be undeserving of anything resembling happiness thanks to his perception of being nothing but a tool of the Emperor, this guy will only need to see his precious little flower and feel like everything in the world can be forgotten, including his ever festering negative emotions. His daughter is the single light of love that he selfilish believes is his right after such torturous upbringing although that mentality rarely affects his princess, as he simply shows nothing but care and tenderness towards her. He may be a nervous trainwreck, fully aware that his Legion and himself aren’t exactly safe-hazardous, but that never has stopped him from doing his utmost best to protect the little girl from anything that may hurt her. Like most of his traitorous brothers, Mortarion would not hesitate to bring entire worlds into devastation if it meant that his family can be safe, even if that’ll end up making a terrible gap to grow between him and those he loves. It's quite terrible and sad to know that, unlike Fulgrim or Angron, Mortarion was the closest to his daughter and showered her with as much genuine love as he could in an attempt to avoid being anything like his supposed father (adopted or creator equally), so when he turned into a Daemon Prince, the festering and rotting resentment that consumes him sometimes simmers down when he remembers the laugh of joy his little princess often released when he would carry her up in his arms. Oh yes, some good ol’ gut-wrenching emotional damage, teehee.

I will not apologize for being a mean bitch by writing sad shit. XOXO

[lurkingshan]

Shan's Favorite Dramas of 2024

The year is wrapping up and I have forced myself to narrow down to a list of 15 (I tried 10 but the choices were too hard!) of my favorite 2024 dramas across genres and countries of origin. This is not every drama I liked this year (that list would be incredibly long), but these are the ones that inspired the most brain rot and really stuck with me.

At 25:00 in Akasaka (Japan, Gaga)

The mood and tone of this drama was just perfect, and I loved the way it explored the blurred lines and confusion that can result when the real and fake aspects of a professional relationship get all mixed up. Hayama was a great character and I loved his arc, in particular.

Cherry Magic (Thailand, Viu)

I still can't believe how much I loved this adaptation. A fantastic example of taking a work from another culture and translating it to a new context while not only retaining the core narrative, but even enhancing it. This show gave us what the Japanese version didn't--the resolution to the physical intimacy arc at the core of the premise--and retained all the charm of the original while adding new humor. And delivered one of the best romances of the year while it was at it!

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear (Japan, fansub)

Oppan, my beloved. Easily the best family drama of the year, loaded with excellent messages while (mostly) avoiding feeling like an after-school special. Makoto's journey to update his thinking with Daichi's help, and the mutual friendship that developed between them, is one of my favorite relationships of the year. I loved every character's story; there is something for everyone to connect with in this show.

Fangs of Fortune (China, iQIYI)

This drama was just so much FUN. A gorgeous feast for the eyes, a wealth of fascinating characters and relationship dynamics, and a fast-moving plot that you don't need to try too hard to understand. It was a great binge and Li Lun was easily my favorite villain of the year.

Gyeongseong Creature (South Korea, Netflix)

A gorgeous period piece set during one of the darkest chapters of Korean history, this one took me by surprise (I am usually not a horror girlie). The writing for this show had surprising depth and I loved its themes around family and loyalty and survival under fascism.

Knock Knock Boys (Thailand, Gaga)

My boys! I loved this show about a group of four queer men living together in a shared house, getting into mischief and supporting each other through school and work and relationship struggles. The show is funny and breezy but also manages to tackle some serious issues with grace while delivering two strong romances and my favorite coming out narrative of the year.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (South Korea, iQIYI)

Winner for best QL of the year, and a romance that will be sticking with me for a long time. Dohoe is one of the most honest and unflinching depictions of a an adult psyche shaped by childhood abuse that I have ever seen on my screen. It was healing to see him treated with such compassion and to see him and Juyoung find their way to a happy life together. An absolute must watch for all you angst with a happy ending fans.

Love for Love’s Sake (South Korea, iQIYI)

It's so hard to get a high concept premise like this right, but this drama did an amazing job with it. It's one of those shows where you can go back over everything that happened in retrospect and it all adds up, and I loved that the ending lent itself to so many different interpretations. One of the best watch experiences of the year.

Love in the Big City (South Korea, Viki)

Go Young, my beloved. This drama adaptation of the internationally successful novel exceeded my wildest expectations, and I am still a little stunned that we got the privilege of seeing it. It is, bar none, the most authentically queer show on this list, and a beautiful depiction of all the significant relationships in one young man's life. I will be rewatching it many times and keeping it close to my heart.

Love is Like a Poison (Japan, fansub)

A masterful blend of comedy, action, and romance, this drama about a lawyer with delusions of grandeur and the scam artist who decides to become his partner was a constant delight and gave us my favorite battle couple of the year.

Marahuyo Project (Philippines, YouTube)

I can't tell you the joy and relief I felt to get another high quality queer drama from the Philippines this year. And this one had such a great cast of characters, anchored by one of my favorite protagonists of the year in King. It's funny, it's romantic, it's touching, and as always for a JP Haboc production, it has an amazing soundtrack.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat (Japan, fansub)

My girls! I'm still amazed by how much this drama gave us in its second season by expanding the world of the show beyond our two main characters to include so many other women whose stories were just as fascinating. This is the season where Nomoto and Kasuga really came into themselves and started building the life they want to have together, and it was a real joy to watch.

Tender Light (China, YouKu)

The way this show had me in a chokehold while it was airing! Visually stunning, incredibly well-constructed, and featuring one of the best performances of the year from Zhang Xin Cheng, it's an exhilarating mystery and a very touching story of the unusual bond between a student and the older woman who fascinates and terrifies him.

The Midnight Romance in Hagwon (South Korea, Viki)

You know a drama is good when it has you deeply invested in a random topic you never thought you were interested in. In this case, that's the intense debate on pedagogical methods between the public schools and hagwons in Korea. Alongside delivering a great romance, this drama was passionate about teaching and it sucked me right in to the Korean literature lessons at the heart of the story.

Unknown (Taiwan)

No other drama inspired more brain rot in me this year than this story of a family rocked by changing feelings as the chosen siblings grow up. The loyalty and love and complex desire between Wei Qian and Wei Yuan is the heart of this story, and the drama did an incredible job of taking us along for the journey as things shifted and changed between them. I still think about them all the time.

Bonus: Favorite Classic Dramas Watched for the First Time in 2024

I am always catching up on an endless backlog of dramas alongside my live watches. Here are the best gems I finally watched this year.

Lost (South Korea, Viki)

I loved this deeply melancholy drama about two lost souls who connect unexpectedly. I finally pulled it up from my to be watched list because it shares director Hur Jin Ho with Love in the Big City (he did part 2 with Go Young's mom) and it sure feels like it! The characters are deep and complicated, the relationships are complex and carefully built, and it is hands down the best encapsulation of a failed marriage between two good people who truly loved each other that I have ever seen. It's heavy and not for everyone--mining the depths of human despair is kind of its thing--but if you like this sort of story it's world class.

Mouse (South Korea, Viki)

I was recently in the market for a good mystery thriller, so I finally watched this apparently very divisive 2021 drama--and if there's a divide I am firmly on the HELL YEAH side of the line. This drama had an interesting concept (that I will not describe bc holy shit spoilers, you should go in knowing nothing) that it unwound with remarkable patience and precision over 20 episodes. Its themes were strong and consistent, the lead characters were super compelling, the plotting and pacing and editing were unbelievably tight, the performances were incredible, and it made a lot of provocative points and ended well, feeling coherent and complete. It sustained my full interest and attention without any stumbles for ~25 incredible hours.

Mr. Sunshine (South Korea, Netflix)

Another one that's been on my watch list forever and finally got its moment when I was in the mood for a historical where ladies got to wield weapons alongside the men. And unsurprisingly, I loved it. Writer Kim Eun Sook is known for her big, glossy, epic dramas, and her style made a good pairing with a story about a rebel faction during the Japanese occupation of Korea. I really loved all the main characters in this show, and was moved by the complicated exploration of their loyalty (or lack thereof) to their homeland. This drama also has a very strong class analysis baked into its themes, which I very much appreciated. It was a traumatic watch, but in a way that felt right given the setting and the choices characters made.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear (Thailand, YouTube)

I watched this one on a mission and it was worth every moment. Nut is one of my favorite protagonists in any queer drama, and I thought the show made great use of its fantasy concept to explore some very real human experiences with depth and compassion. This show feels like an especially important counterpoint to the Thal BL bubble, and I recommend it highly for anyone who enjoys those dramas.

When I Fly Towards You (China, Netflix)

And we end on a light and sweet note, with my favorite coming of age romance that I watched all year. This drama was just lovely, and it will be a go-to rewatch for me for years to come. There’s something so comforting about a story where you start with the happy ending before jumping to the beginning, and just get to sit back and see how they get there. I loved all the characters in this and marveled at how it was never boring despite being decidedly low angst.

[velvetvexations]

___ is really just proudly admitting to sexually harassing intersex people now. (None of the people she harassed are "AFAB trans women" anyway, that's just what she assumes any intersex person is if they won't tell her what's in their pants)

I promise you that if I talk about her she's just going to jerk off about it, she has no audience relative to major TRFs like apricot-aligator, the best thing to do is block and try to forget her.

TRFs really do an AMAZING job of proving that radfem bullshit and manosphere bullshit are basically exactly the same worldview taken to SLIGHTLY different conclusions Like it's always been like that but when you get people unironically saying shit like "women are allowed to wear pants now so TEE EMM EEs aren't oppressed at all anymore but maybe they should be because of all the power that being able to give birth inherently gives them, cisfeminism has gone too far smh, femoids AFABs don't deserve rights actually" and "oh so you're saying I can just exist without either hurting women or becoming their loyal knight? That women can speak for themselves without me!? That I could even be HURT by a pathetic, weak, delicate little WOMAN!? You're saying I'm not a real man!? How DARE!! Get behind me, milady, I'll protect you from this foul ruffian who would speak such cruel blasphemy!" and calling these super progressive intersectional transfeminist things to say it really does make it all that much more obvious

it's really funny they have a new hobby calling transandrophobia Nazism "reactionary" ain't it

TRF transmascs after headcanoning the flavour of the month as transfem and putting TME in their bios: Alright that’s enough activism for now 👍

I owe them so much.

>see someone post a funny joke including trans men >check the comments >people somehow instantly joking about how transandophobia isn’t real and is made up by delusional women Why. It literally wasn’t even related I’m gonna scream

I'm sorry anon. <3

I'm so incredibly frustrated about the whole "transandrophobia isn't real" stuff because I can literally be like "A lot of trans and queer spaces, especially with younger people, see masculinity as inherently bad an actively discourage it and that's bad for trans men since masculinity is what most are transitioning towards" and get the answer of "so you hate trans women" if I use the words transandrophobia or anti-transmasculinity

So you hate trans women?

“No one is immune to being reactionary or insecure. If you have a reactionary gut response to what is to you a new form of progressive politics, that’s something to meditate on and unpack on your own terms.” Sometimes people disagree after thinking about it. This is not a difficult concept to understand.

No, it's transmisogynistic to breathe without a trans woman's permission, actually.

wild how a lot of the "trans-androphibia isnt real" boils down to "in My experience You haven't had this happen to you

lmao fr

I think it’s so funny when TRF people think being socialized into a gender is passively just looking at one of your parents and how they do the gender and if you happen to be looking at the parent who’s the opposite gender, you’re gonna be picking up that gender and be forever trans. When in actuality, both parents are going to be socializing you by showing how both genders act and literally TELLING you how both genders act. My mother told me men don’t cry, my father told me girls are more smarter. My mother told me girls are more sensitive, my father told me men must never show weakness. Socialization can be passive but unless your parents were neglecting you, it’s not ONLY passive and it’s never ONLY one gender. And sometimes, the socialization doesn’t even work.

Yeah TRFs are very confused by the concept of socialization because they heard how TERFs use it and just fully noped out of the entire concept because they're not clever enough to understand that TERFs wildly distort things to be worse than they are. It's amazing TERFs haven't convinced them to detransition because they seem to believe nearly everything they say.

The person who initially did the bomb threat against transmascs being a tankie is hilarious. Somehow idolizing powerful cis men who caused millions of deaths are a-okay but trans men? Yeah, die.

they just don't like trans men and kulaks ig

you're marked red on shinigami-eyes this extension really fell off the more people started using it fbjhgffd

moderation is also actively shit lol

‘it is bad to hate someone for an aspect of their identity they cannot control’ does not stop being true when the person is a cis man. what in the fucking world is happening. systemic oppression aside it is still fucking mean to hate someone for something they cannot control

eyyyup

saw a post about how hating trans men makes you transphobic and immediately saw someone in the notes saying its not transphobic when *i* do it because i have a fear of men and that includes trans men. hello?

(post about hating trans men being transphobic pt2) the direct quote from it is actually worse holy shit "the only reason im not considered transphobic is because i actually have a minor fear of men and that includes trans men. any other reason for hating trans men that isnt trauma or phobias is transphobia!!" this makes me feel really good about being a trans man and i feel very validated because people being afraid of me means im a real boy /sar

they should go hide in a hole somewhere while the rest of us get this activism thing done

in what capacity did jkr turn to terfism about trans men first? what do you mean by that?

the first thing that ever triggered her was trans men getting SRS, hating trans women came after

LBR the "only trans women get predatorjacketed and have spurious harassment campaigns against them" crowd has only ever been fucking disingenious b/c when predatorjacketing and harassment was happening primarily towards (mostly neurodivergent) cis women and transmascs online, they all said we were "too online" and "cared too much about fandom drama". I haven't trusted a single one of these motherfuckers since 2018 when they aggressively whitewashed the harassment me and my friends got from anti-shippers because "why are you arguing about cartoons with children online". And they do it to this day! Literally any time anyone goes "we tried telling you when antis were using all these strategies against us" they go "how dare you compare MY LIVED EXPERIENCE to FANDOM INFIGHTING" like people weren't getting spammed with accusations of being child molesters for years.

Yeah, all of that sucks too, and I'm so sorry.

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Christmas Kindness submission

To Qoldenskies,

I’ll straight up say it. You write my favourite Donnie angst out there. There’s the obvious masterpiece that is the Canary Continuity, and the horrifically underrated Coming Undone. Both are such visceral, heartbreaking experiences that I have enjoyed from start to finish. And Caged Lungs broke me down. Miner’s Eulogy was what shattered me, though, and Clipped Wings? What a RIDE. With each chapter you post, I can’t believe we’re getting closer to the END. Not the END. I don’t want it to end, but it’s gotta. We do need that promised happy ending.

Honestly, your interpretations of the characters? Especially Donnie? They’re so well thought-out and clever. There’s so many important layers to them and what drives them, and it all comes together SO WELL. You’ve definitely done your homework and put a lot of care into your stories. It shows.

What I also have to praise is how beautifully crafted the writing ITSELF is. The metaphors and parallels are so clever. You use them masterfully to paint a better picture of the characters and their struggles. It’s like you have two narratives running at once, sometimes, the obvious one, and the supporting one that explains so much. I don’t always catch that, since I’m not that smart, but I know it’s there. Commenters help me out by bringing attention to it. 

Emotions? Spot on. I feel so much, and the experiences are painted so viscerally that it’s hard not to feel along with the characters.

And I wanted to also bring up one more thing. I really like how you ‘distort’ and break up the dialogue when the characters are in distress. The stammering, the added words, (for examples, “I’m— I’m too muh-ch,” “something’s wro-wrohng, Raph and Leo are ouh-out—“ (cu) “I’ll d-do– I’ll do any-hhh-thing,” “I’ll– I’ll clean it up, I promi- hhh -se!” (cl)) really helps me HEAR how they’re talking. I’ve never seen stuttering or dragged-out words articulated so ‘as-said’— meaning, that is exactly the noises they’d be making if you heard them (particularly the shuddering of breath that accompanies then ‘hhh’, if that makes sense). This is probably my favourite little detail exclusive to your work. I absolutely love it. It’s such a small thing but it definitely enhances the reading experience.

Because I don’t want to leave out your ‘smaller’ fics, I wanted to say that I have read Circomvating Death, too. It definitely is a nice little refresher to all the angst (but I LOVE angst), and I’ve enjoyed the humorously chaotic adventures of Donnie and Casey Jr. Whenever you get back around to writing for that, I’ll look forward to seeing where they go next!

And Enhancements? Short but sweet pain. The idea of NO existing painkillers working on them makes a lot of of sense. The super-soldier piece is such a fun little concept to play around with, whether for badass purposes or whump. I also love seeing the concept referenced in your other stories. It works great as a little headcanon establishment. It doesn’t need to be a massive masterpiece to still be great.

I know you’re also planning Where We Went Wrong as a B-team sep AU, and I’m definitely looking forward to that and your bad things happen bingo prompts! I know all that’s in the right hands, and 

You have a lot of talent, and you deserve all the positive feedback, fan art, and fanfics you’ve gotten so far.

And I did read the post where you said that your family is too poor to celebrate Christmas, but I hope you can cherish the time you all have together regardless (and beat that Christmas Curse that’s plagued you for the past couple years). <3 Have a great one! Wishing you all the best.

@qoldenskies

Christmas Kindness Event Post

[generallycharmingcriminalminds]

Angel In The Snow

Summary: Modern AU where Nicky died, and months later, on Christmas Eve Agatha and Rio see each other at Nicky's grave.

Warnings: Hurt/slight comfort, referenced child's death, like one curse word, exes who still love each other.

Word Count: 1,319 words

Christmas Eve morning, what had once been one of Agatha’s favorite days, now spent standing in front of the cemetery, in the snow, trying to get the nerve to enter. Eight months, and it still ripped her heart out just thinking of the funeral. The one she loved the most standing beside her silently as they watched the coffin lower into the ground, the rest of her heart inside. Agatha tightened her grip on the bouquet of purple azaleas in her hand as she forced her feet forward, making her way towards the grave she came to see. A shuddering breath escaped her as she crouched in front of a headstone, reaching a gloved hand out to brush the snow away, revealing the name. Nicholas Harkness-Vidal. Nicky, her pride and joy, her little boy, forever six years old.

The illness had come quick, there still wasn’t a name for it, or treatments, so Agatha had been forced to watch her little boy deteriorate by the day, his own body betraying him. She never understood exactly what the geneticist had told her and Rio…Rio, the woman Agatha loved, still loves, even after their divorce. Neither woman ever reached acceptance in their stages of grief, both staying in anger, at the situation, and at Rio. It had been something to do with Rio’s egg that caused Nicky’s illness, at least that was how the doctor’s had explained it to Rio and Agatha in the hallway of Boston Children’s Hospital.

Agatha and Rio divorced not even two months after the funeral, unable to look at each other without screaming, if Rio was even home. Being a badass FBI agent meant she was rarely home even when Nicky was alive and well. But once he got sick, and eventually passed she claimed it was just too hard, leading to one of the worst fights they ever had in their almost ten year long marriage, the fight that led to their divorce.

“Being here is hard for you? Seriously, Rio? You were never here!” Agatha had screamed at her wife.

“I tried, I am trying. But at least you got to be here for him, make sure he knew he was never alone. You got to help him with his homework after school, drive him to sports, be here for dinner, his bedtime routine. You knew his favorite food, favorite color, stuffed animal, everything, unlike me. You got to be his mother, in every way that counts. Thanks to my job, and the crazy schedule I work, the most maternal thing I did for him was use my egg for his conception, and that’s what killed him,” Rio had replied softly, tears in her eyes, no fight left in her anymore as she avoided Agatha’s furious, hate filled expression.

“I wish we had never used your egg! We should have used mine, it would’ve saved us money, and probably wouldn’t have killed him! I want a divorce, Rio, you look too much like him, and I hate you for it.”

“Aggie…” Rio started, but a cold look from Agatha shut her up.

“It should’ve been you, not him.” With that Agatha had turned on her heel, storming out of the room.

Agatha shook her head, as if that would make the memory of her cruel words go away. She didn’t really hate Rio for her resemblance to Nicky, or blame her for Nicky’s death. But Nicky had Rio’s dimples, and her smile, and her unnatural ways of sitting in chairs that simultaneously drove Agatha insane and made her smile. It had all been too much seeing the woman she loved, and also seeing her little boy in Rio. So once the divorce had been finalized Agatha packed up her life, sold the house, and moved from Salem Massachusetts to Westview New Jersey, a small town where no one knew her as Agatha Harkness, the stay at home mother who tragically lost her only child. Instead they knew her as one of the best cops in the whole department.

She’d even made friends in Westview, Jennifer Kale, a cosmetic company founder. Lilia Calderu, a fortune teller who Agatha knew was just scamming people, but somehow it was legal. And Alice Wu-Gulliver, a fellow cop whose mother had once been a well-known rockstar, apparently. But Agatha wasn’t sitting in front of her son’s headstone on Christmas Eve to think about them.

Agatha carefully set the bouquet of azaleas on the ground in front of Nicky’s headstone, a shaky breath leaving her as she wiped her eyes, realizing she had started crying. “Hi, baby, mami and I both miss you, with all of our hearts. I’m sorry you had to hear us fight so much when you got sick, and I’m sure you saw it get worse, because there is not a doubt in my mind you’re keeping an eye on both of us, just like Santa if you think about it. I wish it had been me instead of you…parents aren’t meant to bury their children.” Agatha heard the snow crunching under someone’s relatively quiet steps, but she didn’t turn, assuming the person would just pass by, they didn’t.

“You and I both know he’d hate hearing you talk like that, Agatha. You’re right, parents aren’t meant to bury their children, but six year olds aren’t meant to bury their parents either,” a voice behind her said quietly, and it just made the tears slip down Agatha’s cheeks more. She didn’t turn her head as Rio crouched next to her, placing a bouquet of green azaleas, her gloved hand finding Agatha’s without thinking. “I saw you sold the house,” she said, attempting to make small talk, some sort of connection.

“Yeah, I couldn’t stay there, every time I turned a corner I expected him to come running up to me, wanting cuddles. The ghosts of the happy family the three of us once were was too much to overcome…”

“Just like our divorce.” There was no anger, or resentment, just sadness and understanding in Rio’s tone. “You know, Salem hasn’t had a white Christmas since the year Nicky was born,” Rio noted, looking up, some of the flakes catching on her eyelashes, and melting on her face.

Agatha nodded in agreement, moving to rest her head against Rio’s. “Our little boy’s watching over us,” she said hoarsely, and she believed it.

When they both left the cemetery a little while later Agatha finally met Rio’s eyes for the first time. Both had dark circles under their eyes, neither slept well anymore. “Do you…maybe…wanna get a cup of coffee, just for old time’s sake? No expectations, just two people who’ve known each other for years?” Rio inquired.

“Unfortunately I can’t. I have to get back to Westview because a friend of mine is having a Christmas party tonight, I’m sorry,” Agatha answered, her tone surprisingly sheepish as she glanced away from her ex-wife.

“Oh, well, it was worth a shot. Merry Christmas, Aggie.” Rio hadn’t even noticed she used that old nickname, but Agatha did as Rio turned, starting to walk away.

Before Agatha could think things through, or even at all she called after Rio. “Wait, what are your plans for Christmas?”

“No clue, probably unpacking my apartment that I’ve been living in for six months and haven’t done anything with,” Rio admitted, now the sheepish one.

Agatha scoffed, shaking her head. “Come on, Nicky would be disappointed in me if I let his mami spend Christmas alone. You’re coming to New Jersey, and staying in my guest room.” Her tone made it clear Agatha wasn’t going to accept any arguments from Rio.

What neither of them could see was Nicky watching from above, smiling ever so slightly. He didn’t know if his mama and mami would find their way back to each other, but for the first time since before he died, he had hope.

[librarygarten]

I don't think I'm the only one who thinks Wars was an asshole? Like, is the reader supposed to have -known- they were actually controlling somone? The world they were from, the Links aren't real, right? And here he is instantly blaming them for playing something they'd only know as a game, cruelly making them cry and being just all around awful. I hope someone calls him out on it.

Sorry, nonnie :( Wars was indeed an asshole, but his game would probably one of the worst to live through. He had to watch his men die in a war that turned out to be some sort of sick entertainment for an interdimensional being. Add to that his whole... situation with Cia, and he's not thrilled with the idea that reader might have just. Over-written his free will while playing the game. Don't worry, Twilight will beat up Wars on your behalf <3

#2 Chain x Speedrunner! Deity! Isekai! Reader - Who's in Control?

Part 2 includes Sky, Twilight, and Legend Part 1 ✿ Part 2 (you are here) ✿ Part 3

When you first fell through the portal and joined the chain on their quest, you had revealed that they were only stories in your world. It had taken a while for them to understand the concept of a video game, and even longer for them to come to terms with the fact that some of the most traumatic events of their lives were reduced to children’s entertainment. However, as they talked with you, they came to another horrifying discovery: YOU were their “player.” Your actions in your world, the decisions you made while playing the games, directly influenced their own lives. What’s more, you were a speedrunner.

Sky

“Hey, Y/N?” Sky approaches you at camp, wringing his hands nervously. He won’t meet your gaze. “Did… did I do something to make you mad?”

“What?” You think back on your last few interactions. You hadn’t been treating him any differently. Unless you were somehow a jerk and didn’t even know it? You have been pretty sleep-deprived lately. “No. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that…” He trails off, clearly not sure how to approach this topic. He takes a breath and tries again. “You kind of controlled us during our adventures, right?”

Well, crap.

“I think so? I’m not really sure how it works.” Now you’re the one that won’t look him in the eyes. “My influence on you guys is still… weird to think about.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. Learning the existence of your free will was questionable at best was not a great feeling. “But you controlled everything we did, right?”

“Not necessarily!” You can feel the sweat dripping down your neck. “Talking to some of the others, maybe you guys could influence me, too? Like, Four said he felt scared during the final fight, and that’s the same time that I messed up with the controls!”

Sky hums, as if agreeing. It’s clear he doesn’t believe it.

“But you’re the one that made me jump off that post in Skyloft.” He says quietly. He’s not angry. He just seems sad, honestly. “And then… Fi was there all of a sudden? I can’t remember exactly. Everything seemed so… out of order?”

You swallow the glob of spit in your throat. He was talking about the Back in Time glitch. How did he even remember that? It requires two save files and to move around while in the menu.

“You remember that?” You yelp. “Shoot, I’m so, so sorry. That’s a glitch to make the game faster. I swear, I had known you weren’t just a video game I would have never-”

“It’s fine.” He interrupts, giving a weak smile. “I’m used to it.”

“Used to what?” You ask, but he walks away. He disappears between the trees, and you’re left staring at the empty clearing full of camping equipment.

“...Used to what?” You whisper to yourself.

Twilight

“Y’alright?” Twilight asks you. He’d found you a ways away from camp, curled up agains the side of a tree. You sniff, wiping your eyes but not meeting his gaze.

“Peachy,” you say sarcastically, but your voice cracks, and it sounds more pathetic than anything else. He sits down next to you.

“Rupee for your thoughts?” He smiles. When you don’t respond, he leans forward, trying to get a look at your face. “You know you can talk to me, right? Or I could be Wolfie, if that would be easier? Dog therapy is a thing right? Wolf therapy is just a few degrees removed from that.”

“Don’t go transforming for my sake.” You snicker, finally turning your head to look at him. Your eyes are red and puffy from crying. “It’s nothing. No need for you to get worked up over it.”

“It is very clearly not ‘nothing’.” His eyebrows furrow. “Did one of the others say something? I swear if Legend was giving you grief again–”

“No, nobody said anything. It’s just a lot of things, I guess…” You explain hesitantly. “Like, I got sucked through a random portal and suddenly a bunch of game characters are real. And what’s worse is the things I did in the game actually happened to them? Does that apply to every game I’ve played? What about when I stopped playing a game? Or deleted a save file?” You thread your fingers through your hair, feeling more tears threatening to spill out. How many deaths and traumas were your fault? How many lives have you ruined? 

“You couldn’t have known. Heck, WE didn’t know about you.” Twilight pats your back, bringing you back to reality.

“But didn’t you feel something was off? I was like,” you make claws with your hands, emphasizing your point “controlling you guys against your will or something.”

“Well, it was kinda weird when I stared at a rupee for fifteen hours straight.” He chuckles, “But like I said, you had no way of knowing. Nobody here blames you.”

“I’m pretty sure Wars hates me…”

“Well, he’s an asshole.” Twilight rolls his eyes. “I’ll give him a piece of my mind next time he’s bothering you, ya hear?”

“Okay,” you smile, wiping your nose with your sleeve. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Legend

“Speedrunning? That sounds incredibly stupid.” Legend scoffs. You had tried explaining some of the strange things that he had encountered during his adventure, only to be made fun of. Honestly, you probably deserved it a little bit.

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing. People compete to get the fastest time, which usually requires glitches.” You chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your head.

“So you broke the very fabric of reality in order to win.” He raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t break reality!” You exclaim.

“I climbed up a ladder and just… kept going up, even when there wasn’t anything to climb on!” Legend throws his hands in the air. “I held a bomb above my head and floated across a room.”

“That’s not necessarily breaking reality,” you grimace. He’s honestly got a point, but you’re not about to concede like that. “People can fly. There’s a whole race of bird people called the Rito in the other timelines.”

“Do I look like a bird?” Legend motions to himself, showing off his very-much-not-a-bird-self. “You know what? Forget it. If all you’re going to do is make excuses, I’m done.”

He turns to walk away, but you grab his hand. His back is to you, so you can’t see his face. Hopefully he won’t hate you too much.

“Legend, I swear I would never have played the games if I knew I was messing with real people. I had no idea.” You sniff, tears threatening to fall. You’re so sick of this. You’re so sick of needing to explain this to them. “Your games were some of the first games I ever played. I remember coming back from school as a kid, excited to play them. I… I loved all the characters. I spent hours trying to find every side quest, trying to get everyone a happy ending. When I started speedrunning… I never could have known… I’m sorry.”

He turns around, his bangs half-covering his eyes. He looks ready to cry, too.

“You loved her too, huh?” He whispers, then laughs, regaining his composure and returning to the snarky Legend you know and love. “Just make sure you don’t, like, puppet me around now, alright? I can’t imagine what the others would do if I started backflipping through walls.”

You giggle at his annoyed expression. They were sure to be insufferable about it.

“Deal.”

[pinkyplushiemaker]

New 2025 Commission Information

Commission Information and Terms of Service

Information on Artist.

I started my plush work in 2013. I have worked hard on developing my style and process over the years. I create my embroidery and patterns from scratch, so everything I make is one of a kind. I do not sell my patterns because they are not normal and only I can understand how they come together. I live in West Virginia, USA. I can ship all over the country and internationally. I live in a dog, bird, and reptile friendly home. I love anime/manga, superhero movies/tv/comics, horror movies, animals, art, and making plushies.

My Plush Work

I work with minky fabric since it’s the highest quality I can use to make my work the best quality possible. I can also use faux furs, long pile minky, mochi fabric, fleece, and cotton if needed (or requested). I use upholstery thread when sewing my plush together. The thread is incredibly strong and the chances of pieces coming apart are very low. If they do come apart (very uncommon), just message me and I will fix and reinforce the piece.

My work is considered “art”, not factory produced for the general public. This means that they are unique and special, but it also means they are not really meant to be handled roughly, crushed, and/or given to very small children. They are pretty durable since they are plush, but any material can wear over time when they are over “loved” (lol). Taking them on adventures, and carrying them around is totally welcomed, just please go easy on the tug and pull <3

Ordering a Plush

Please feel free to reach out to me through Twitter (X), Tumblr, Instagram, or Facebook. I do my best to answer as soon as possible, but you are welcome to message again in case I have not replied after a few days. (I can get busy with the Plush Business, my full-time job, and taking care of my pets.)

Let me know what you are looking to have made. (I can make humans, animals, creatures, cars, robots etc.) Let me know what size and style you are thinking of and if there is a certain time you would like to have it made by. (It normally takes about 2-4 weeks, it depends on if I need to order anything specific.) Please provide images if possible (if you want something unique and only have a description, I can do a rough concept of the character for you, or if you would like to commission me to do art of the character, please feel free to request it). Once I have this information, I will give you a price quote. The quote will only be for the plush, this will not include the shipping or taxes. If you agree to the price, I will request an email from you and will send an invoice. It will list all the details for the transaction, including shipping and tax. The invoice is through PayPal Goods and Services, so we are both protected.

Once the payment is made, you are added to the queue. Before I start on the plush, I will create a concept for it. In this stage (and only in this stage) you are welcome to make any updates to the design. (For example: preferring a different color, wanting the eyes to be bigger, not wanting a certain part included etc.) I will do my best to get as close to the concept as possible. It will never be exact, but I do normally get really close. After the concept is finished, I will share fabric colors to ensure they are right.

Once everything is approved, I will create the pattern and embroidery files. Next, I will embroider the fabric and cut out the pattern. Finally, I will sew the plush together and share the final plush in our communication. I will need you to share the preferred name and address for the shipment. Once this information is provided, I will pack up the plush and send it out. I will provide the tracking when it is on its way.

Shipping the Plush

My standard shipping is first-class and using a waterproof bubble mailer envelope. This keeps the shipping as low as possible. ($7 within the US, $25 International)

For 2025, I am offering priority and over-night shipping (overnight only available in US). I am also offering the option to ship within a box instead of a bubble mailer. These options will be much higher prices and can be discussed while setting up the commission.

Please note, once I ship a plush and provide a tracking number. It is out of my hands.

Canceling a Commission

You have 1 week after ordering to cancel a commission. If I ordered materials for the project, it will be deducted from the total.

If a plush is not correct (and it is due to my mistake), I can grant a full refund. Unless I am able to fix the issue. The mistake would be due to me not using the correct color fabric, missing an important detail from the concept etc. Just not liking a plush or deciding you don’t want to pay for a plush once it is made are not valid reasons. I have various examples of my work and before commissioning me, please review my pages to make sure you like my style and quality.

Final Note

I am more than happy to work with someone to make a plush they can afford and love. Since all of my plush are custom and I make all the patterns and embroidery, I can make adjustments easily. For example, I can make the plush smaller and contain less details. I will be happy to explain what parts are causing the higher price and we can work out other options. I believe PayPal has options to make multiple payments too, so I can still get full payment and you wont need to pay in full right away.

Thank you for reading!! I hope I can bring your favorite characters to life 😊

[applestorms]

do you have lawlight fic recs

*cracks knuckles*

(Not) According to Plan by FlamesRise: this fic was Fundamental to me figuring out what my ideal light (smut) characterization is. fun lawlight lawyers au that is also mostly kinda just about light manipulating himself into an uncomfortable sexual scenario yay👍(this really sets the stage for what the rest of these recs are gonna look like so prepare yourself lmfao. aka these are gonna be like, 90% questionable smut and/or dead dove, i just don't read much else... 🫠 oops)

blood in the walls of the yagami house (series) by qu_ilinn: gotta put the lawlight brocon on there since this is basically what got me into the DN fandom. grins. one of the best Terrible Horrible L depictions ever, i love this series sm lolol <33

rewards for fools by autumnstar88: cough. and so we notice a trend. this is once again light putting himself in a horny situation he's uncomfortable with and then freaking out as he likes it too much LOL, this time set immediately after he gets his memories back during yotsuba. light in a skirt, what else is there to say.

caligula would have blushed by findingsaturn: medical kink going wilddddd this blew my fucking mind the first time i read it. an absolutely delectable ratio of body horror to weird sex stuff, chefs kiss. i also rec corrosive wash and self-surgery, by the same author.

literally anything from the alignmentverse by praise_lilith and tsukinousagi: this is easily one of my favorite lawlight series, every single fic in this collection is absolutely fucking golden. 10/10 some of the funniest light and L characterization ever.

A complex fool and a simplex fool. by gomikyun: also some hilarious lawlight characterization, this time in the canonverse. i don't usually go for bottom L but this is The Exception. shout out to that one time i took like three hours searching for this just to find this stellar quote:

Why, why didn't I do this before? L has to hold himself back from letting out a whiny groan. He should have just pushed Light down and fucked himself ontop of him instead of playing tennis on that stupid fucking court. Would have been a great icebreaker. And made headlines, probably. ‘Hideki Ryuga and Light Yagami, top scorers on the To-Oh entrance exams have a friendly game of… gay sex on the tennis court. This year is looking to be quite interesting!’

Diamond by exAm: another top 3 for me in terms of lawlight being funny and horrible. one of if not The best het lawlight dynamic i've ever read (man light/woman L, in this case). light is such an egotistical, stupid asshole here, hubris through the fucking roof, and it works fantastic. also fun to see L dealing w/ canon-typical DN sexism LMFAO

Back to then by LiveLongEatWell: this one just has great smut idk what else to say. shrugs. also L obsessively fucking himself into the worst possible scenario lolol here's how KIRA could've actually won

Trading Blows and Idle Hands by gayraito (Mercurial_Magic): more yotsuba smut shenanigans, very fun. honestly most things by this author are great, hard to pick just one... The Gift is also great and somewhat inspired some of my own android light in superegos (read my lawlight fics too 🫵 boy)

draw it out by emmerii: VERY noncon no-memories light. smiles. this one makes me actually insane hides in my evil little corner

actually if we're doing the more heavily dead dove ones, there's also Take Me With You or Let Me Follow by WhyDoesEverythingHappenSoMuch and I will take what's mine, create what god would never design by FlamesRise for the specific concept of L being a freak over L's corpse. necrophilia warning? :]

Kouyaku by Not_default: basically a KIRA wins au where L doesn't actually die. sometimes L deserves to be the one locked in the basement ig. very very nice

The Dreadful Need by the_gabih: somewhat non-traditional omegaverse au that is also just about very dubcon prison sex. this makes my brain fucking melt please don't ask why

Perfect Life by foreskinsmoothie: probably the longest thing on this list, this one Fucked Me Up when i finished it a couple weeks ago. OCD light to the extreme, which is additionally Made Worse by L kidnapping him for shits and giggles 👍 that being said, i absolutely adore the ending of this one, so. if you can get past the graphic self-amputation, this is a (very fucked up) lil treat :>

Kira's Guide to the Munchies by plant1r: ok this is more like matsulight but i have to include it for light's characterization alone, AND ALSO NEAR. one of the best near depictions ever. this is hysterical, my favorite weed light fic everrr

praise the sweetness by cxtangerina: read my fic boy 🫵 cult leader L au. unreality apocalypse world wammy's cult weirdness. what more can i say. this is probably gonna have a meronia sequel in the near future so watch out for that (after i post this other lawlight fic anyway, which is ALMOSTTT done uwu everybody clap)

that enuf for you anon?

[darlingstarkey]

challengers - rafe cameron

heavily inspired by challengers. except in this concept, rafe and reader are actually in love and don’t hate each other and have the intense angst that tashi and art do lol. i was listening to the soundtrack while writing this as well. very inspirational. please also be aware that i am not so good at tennis and have no concept of how an actual game works, so i’m trying my best. i was also high as balls writing half of this so excuse it if its bad.

summary: during an intense match where undefeated tennis star rafe cameron is losing to his rival, jackson maybank, a little break in between sets with reader is all he needs to get back into the headspace he needs to be in to win.

warnings: mdni! smut, swearing, oral (f. recieving), breeding kink if you squint, unprotected sex (pinv), jj maybank i guess?!, reader and rafe being cute but sexy.

wc: 2.3k

-

tennis star rafe cameron, who had already won this years us open, last years wimbledon, and would be competing in the australian open within the next year, nothing could ever stop him from breaking his undefeated record as a professional tennis player. but there he was, jackson maybank. rafe’s old doubles partner back in boarding school. they had a horrible fallout, especially when rafe went to stanford for tennis and met you, his support system and motivation to play. jackson decided to immediately go pro and failed to become successful miserably, therefore breaking up the duo. but the secret that only you three knew, was that jackson had always beat rafe. 

at the charleston challenger, you had convinced rafe to join as a last minute wildcard entry, although he was way out of their league as the #1 mens player in the industry. but there it was, the final match was set between him and jackson. you could feel the tension between the two of them as they played their first game. rafe dominated the courts fearlessly, his grunts echoing across the court as he swung effortlessly. within a minute of their first game, “15-love, cameron.” the chair umpire called. a smirk widened across rafe’s face as he squatted into position and made intense eye contact with jackson from across the court. an already frustrated jackson looked over at you and gave you a quick wink before serving the ball that flies effortlessly across the court and beyond rafe’s control. “15-all.” the umpire calls out. 

this was going to be a long, intense game. 

the crowd filed in more and more as rafe and jackson kept getting more aggressive, their sweat collecting across their foreheads and sticking to their hair. grunts and painful moans danced across the court as they balanced the ball between each other. usually, you would watch rafe’s every move, willing to give him tips as to how he can improve next time. because thats who you were. his coach, his motivation.  rafe would always listen to you and your advice, knowing that all you wanted was the best for him. not only were you the reason why he became the best of the best, the love and understanding that you two had for each other was fairytale like. no one had ever known a stronger couple than you and rafe.

you couldn’t help but sweat yourself as your head moved in synchronicity with the bright yellow ball. your palms were clamming up on the arms of the chair you were sitting on. everyone could not believe the intensity that was bouncing between jackson and rafe in front of their eyes, and honestly, you couldn’t either. it was the third game and they were already tied for each winning one set. the intensity continued as the two boys frolicked across the courts, mirroring each other effortlessly. rafe would look over to you and nod subtly in between points, knowing that his good luck charm is still around to grant him this win, that was until he succumbed to who was in front of him. 

jackson had this backhand that had been pulled out of nowhere, making the ball sprint past rafe. this call made jackson win that entire set, giving him the advantage between the two men. “FUCK.” rafe exclaimed as he slammed his racket onto the floor. the wilson became bent with the first swing. you could see his muscles tense up and his jaw locked into anger as he continued to swing his racket forcefully onto the ground. jackson continued to smirk over at rafe, knowing where his weakness lies within the game from ages ago. 

you sprint over to the gate where the court is, prepared to meet a very angry rafe cameron for his break. you had never been in this situation before, especially since it was jackson who was his opponent. you gulped as the 6’4 muscular man stomped over to you, angrily staring back at jackson who sat back in his chair smirking and adjusting his groin while staring at the both of you. 

“w-w-what do you need, baby?” you ask him as you cup your hands between his tense jaw. you look up at him intensely with your wide eyes, almost desperately pleading to help him in anyway you can. his arms immediately snake around you as his sweaty body encapsulates you in a hug as he kisses your neck softly and deeply breathes in your pheromones. 

“need you, baby.” he sighs into your ear, making sure that you’re the only one that could hear his plea. you pull away and nod frantically, knowing exactly what he’s referring to. you grab his hand and head over to the private locker room that they had given him as soon as the town of charleston realized that the number one tennis star would be playing in their petty challenger. 

you follow rafe into the room, locking it behind you. you turn swiftly to rafe and notice him stripping his sweaty shirt off, revealing his glistening sore muscles that became prominent as the game went on and on today. you immediately walk behind him and rest your face on his back while wrapping your arms around his stomach. you slowly kiss his back where it is most prominent, knowing the aching pain that is not only within his muscles, but also his veins as he is faced to challenge his childhood best friend. 

“i can’t believe he’s whooping my ass..” he finally admits out loud. you knew that this wasn’t easy for him, especially admitting to submission to jackson, someone who has always been better than him at his sport. your eyebrows furrow at his words. “rafe cameron.” you say, spinning him around. “he is not whooping your ass. he is only one set match ahead of you. do not let him underestimate you. you know his moves, you know the way he works. you are smarter than this, to give up. you, are rafe cameron. the all time tennis player, the number one player in the world. you can beat him, and you will beat him.” you say matter of factly while not breaking eye contact with rafe. with this, he knew you were right, but he just needed you to reassure him of this. 

“god, i love you.” he sighs as he grabs your face roughly and kisses you deeply. you sigh into his mouth as his tongue slips into your mouth. while grasping the back of your hair roughly, he guides you to the bench that is set in the middle of the locker room. he gets on his knees in front of you as you lower yourself to sit on the bench. one of his hands leans down to fondle your breast as the other pulls at the back of your hair forcefully. 

rafe roughly palms your breasts as he’s kissing down your neck. “mine.” he growls. “all mine.” he moans into the nape of your neck. his hands move to your shoulders and glide your silk dress straps off of your body. the top of your dress immediately falling and exposing your breasts. “such nice fuckin’ tits.” rafe says as he takes the view in. his mouth immediately attaches to your nipple as he rolls the other one between his thumb and finger “fuck, rafe. feels so good.” you say as your roll your body to be closer to him. he moans against your nipple, taking his other hand and running it down to meet your bare thighs. you moan at his touch, his rough calloused palms gripping roughly at your thighs. “wanna taste of you baby, i need to be able to still have your taste in my mouth while i’m out there kicking jacksons’ ass.” there he was. that was the rafe cameron you knew, the one who would do this at almost every match that he’s losing. where he would take you into his own private locker room and fuck you senseless, it always ended like this, and it was always how he won.

rafe hikes up your dress as he rips off your lacy pink underwear. “my favorite.” he says as he throws them across the room. putting your thighs on his shoulders, he swipes his fingers across your folds, collecting the nectar that built up. he sticks his fingers in his mouth and sucks loudly. “god, baby, you always taste so fuckin’ good for me.” he moans out. you whimper in response, hitching your breath as he attaches his tongue to your cunt. his tongue swirls around your entrance and swirls its way up to your puffy clit. your chest raises frantically as you pant out at the feeling of your sex god boyfriend eating you out like its the last meal he’s ever had. 

 you’re a whimpering mess under him as you tug at his hair. your eyebrows furrowed together and your pornographic-like face is only driving him more wild, driving the instinctive need to fuck you till you can’t walk out of here. your thighs start to tremble around his head, signalling your approaching orgasm. “r-rafe..gunna come soon, can i please” you choke out. his tongue continues to circulate around your clit at a quicker pace as a response, chasing your orgasm along with you. his large fingers slip into your entrance and start massaging at the squishiness of your walls. the squelches of your wet pussy echo in the room along with your whimpers and moans. the rise of your orgasm approaches you as the familiar euphoria engulfs your body. you melt into rafes touch and tremble as he finishes you off. 

he pulls away from your wet center and looks up at you drunkenly, a line of his spit mixed with your cum following the trail of his mouth. “my sweet, sweet pussy.” he says as he licks his lips and playfully pats at your core. 

rafe strips you from the halter dress that you’re wearing, leaving you barren while connecting your lips together hungrily. you can taste yourself on his lips and tongue as he engulfs you fully. stripping himself down, his cock smacks against his stomach as he groans at the release. “your pussy drives me crazy baby, its the only thing that can get me through this.” he whines as he scoops you up into his huge arms. your legs wrap around his barren waist as he lines his cock up with your entrance. “p-please rafe.. need you so bad.” you pant out, still coming down from your orgasm. your sweaty forehead pressed against his as his large dick stretches you out slowly. his large calloused hands are gripping your ass harshly as he bounces you up and down his dick, his strong legs holding the both of you up. 

rafe’s dick pounds in and out of you swiftly, reaching your cervix every time. he drills into you grunting loudly. the only sounds within the room were your skins slapping against each other. “fuck, i’m gonna cum.” rafe panted out. “you gonna let me fill you up like the dirty whore you are? you gonna let the best tennis player in the world make you a mama?” he grunted as he pounded into you fiercely. you whimpered in return “y-yes rafe, fill me up with your cum please..” you whined against him, pulling at the hair that stuck to the nape of his neck with sweat 

his eyebrows furrowed as his dick twitched inside of you, his loud grunts accompanied by the slapping of skin echoed in the locker room. “say it.” he groaned. your walls clenched against his cock as you experienced your second orgasm within 10 minutes. “rafe! you’re the best tennis player in the world.” you squealed out as you scratched his shoulders. with this, he emptied himself within you, panting and coming down from his orgasm as you milk his cock. 

he sweetly kisses your forehead and smiles softly as he sets you down, both your legs trembling accompanied by your heavy breathing. 

“you okay darlin’?” you ask sweetly, looking up at him innocently as you adjust your dress. rafe smiles down at you as he’s adjusting himself back into his adidas-sponsored gym shorts. he puts his polo shirt back on as he responds, “never been better.” you both dress and exchange comforting and loving words. the siren outside blares, reminding all that the winning set will be taking place within the next few minutes. 

you sigh as you look at him, cupping your hand around his face and softly brushing back his bangs. “you got this, rafe. remember who you are.” you grin softly at him and kiss his lips softly.

with this, you both walk out of his locker room, hand in hand. you walk back over to your seat and fidget as you stare down rafe getting his racket back out and softly stretching out his back and arms that were just supporting your body as he fucked you only just a few minutes ago. getting into place, rafe walks over to his spot on the court confidently and stretches his legs. the rest of the crowd has already settled as the umpire climbs back onto their chair. 

the silence is almost deafening as the crowd waits to see the two men compete against one another once again. the ball kid walks over to rafe as he hands him the ball smoothly. “cameron to serve.” the umpire calls out.

rafe bounces the ball up and down, staring down jackson with a smirk planted on his face. with his last dribble of the ball, rafe takes a quick glance over at you and locks his eyes with you before serving.

-

this took me days to write, but thats okay! hope you enjoy. writing smut is kinda hard so i'm open to any kind of feedback!

happy holidays!