#not my best work but certainly still like it!!!
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sandu-zidian · 2 days ago
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Im going away for a long time…
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andhumanslovedstories · 1 day ago
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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madamechrissy · 1 day ago
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=͟͟͞♡ Healing Hearts =͟͟͞♡
=͟͟͞♡ Pairings:-Doctor Gojo x Intern F!Reader
=͟͟͞♡ Contents/warnings- Medical procedures, surgery descriptions, crazy sexual tension, eventually explicit sex etc. ER setting. Reader 26, Dr. Gojo 34, small age gap, work sex, complications, lots of humor, eventual drama and angst
=͟͟͞♡ Summary- You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!
Toying with the idea of making this a full story soon! Comment to get added to the tag list when I do :) A rough draft of the beginning. Enjoy!
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Part One
Fuck, you’re exhausted, the first month of your internship as a surgeon was brutal, you haven’t had but a couple hours of sleep here and there, mostly on some of the hospital beds. Your bones ache, your skincare routine is barely hanging by a thread, and your hair is a wreck in a messy bun today. You thought med school was difficult, but it was nothing like this.
“Hey, you okay babe?” Your best friend Maki Zenin asks softly, you look at her and smile, nodding, she purses her lips, tilting her glasses.  “No you’re not.”
“I’m wiped, Maki. This patient injected cocaine up his ass.” She bursts out laughing right in the middle of the hospital floor, you cover her mouth quickly, looking around. “Shh!”
“Shit, forreal? I thought my case was bad, he’s been here eight times for hits of pain meds since I have been here, he keeps bashing his hand on shit.” She sighs, handing her files to the desk then picking up several more.
You’re both in your pale blue scrubs, Maki’s pretty green hair is high up in a ponytail, now your other two best friends from your internship come up, Inumaki Toge and Yuta Okkotsu, both looking exhausted along with you. Yuta’s eye bags rival yours by far, he slicks back his dark hair as you all check the time on your watches.
“Another sixteen hours almost down.” He says through a yawn.
“Tired.” Inumaki says, and you sigh, nodding in agreement.
“Fuck that, we need to throw a party.” Maki says, somehow still so energetic, and you’re so confused how it’s possible.
“Party?” Inumaki asks, he’s certainly a man of few words, but his violet eyes explain whatever anyone needs to know.
“No way, Maki. Fuck that.” Yuta says, earning Maki sticking her tongue out at him.
“Buzz kill, ugh. Listen, this weekend, we’ll invite some of the people from our class, we can invite some of the other interns too. Ooh, maybe even those sexy resident doctors.” She wiggles her brows with a mischievous little grin.
“Maki, we're too old for that shit now.”  You grumble.
“Bitch we’re twenty six? How are we old.”
“I feel ancient.” Yuta agrees. “Coffee everyone?”
“I have to stop by Doctor Gojo’s real quick, meet you all there?” You say, and they nod, waving you off as you head to your Resident doctor’s office. Dr. Gojo was the boss of you four, one of the residents along with Dr. Nanami and Dr. Geto. All three were fawned over by all the interns, except you. 
Yes they were gorgeous, and yes Dr. Gojo was positively beautiful, with his snowy white hair, his glittery blue eyes, his big grin. But you were just too exhausted and too beat to really fawn over someone, especially someone you really could not be with, seeing as he is your resident, you’re just a little intern. Satoru also happens to be the top surgeon in the hospital.
You go to knock but see his door is cracked open, you carefully take the knob in your hand, twisting it and peeking your head in, seeing Satoru Gojo’s head fall back, as he’s gasping. You look curiously, but his hands are up on the desk, as he’s biting his lower lip, his brows together, eyes shut. You clear your throat and he jerks then, clearing his throat.
“Um… hey intern.” He says, his voice clipped. You shut the door behind you, tilting your head curiously at him, his face reddening slightly.
“Dr. Gojo, I have a question about this patient, is everything okay? It won’t take very long.” You say, and his eyes flicker over your face, an expression you can’t explain, as he sucks in a breath.
“I um… can listen… in… fuck, fuck!” He moans then, he clearly moans, and you hear a bump on his desk now. “Oh, oh that’s so much better.”
“I… what the fuck!?” He flushes then, sliding back, and one of the nurses jumps up, giggling now and wiping her mouth, she has pretty blue hair.
“Thank you Miwa, you’re a gem.” He stands, patting her head with a smile, and she giggles again, as you watch in confusion, your brows together, mouth open. “I need to talk to her about cool doctor things, I’ll see you around later?”
Cool Doctor things.
Blow jobs on the clock?
How is this your boss?
“Yes, Dr. Gojo. Hi there!” She waves at you, as if nothing has happened, as if she wasn’t just sucking Dr. Gojo off, and he’s looking bashful!?
“What the hell is this shit? Lock a door?” He comes to you, locking the big door with a click behind you. “Not now!”
“I forgot it was open, shit. I’m sorry. Stress relief, you know.” He smiles down at you, a stupid smirk you’d like to smack off his pretty face, hands in the pockets of his long white doctor jacket. “Don’t you ever need any?”
You heat up at his husky tone, as you realize just what you’d walked into. It had been a long time since you’d even thought that way, not just with Med school but now being an intern, especially since you broke up with your ex months back. “What? Yuck don’t come near me.”
“Why, ya jealous.” He brushes your hair back, earning your glare. “You’re awfully cute when you are.”
“Jealous of you? No thanks, I'm good. I sure am not part of your fan club.”
Satoru pouts. “Yeah, and you’re the only one.”
“Yep. Anyway, I’m now disturbed.” You shiver with feigned disgust, making him snort a bit in laughter. “But I only came in here to go over Mr. Lewis.” Sighing, you hand him the file with a gentle brush of your fingers against his palm. “He's been a difficult case.”
“Fuck, the cocaine dude? Ah shit, it’s that bad?”
“We have him stable, but something about it threw me off, how could it be that severe of an effect? Colitis has lasted days now and no improvement.”
“Mmm, true. But it makes sense, you can’t just inject cocaine into the anus and… have a party.” A hint of laughter escapes from his lips before he can control it, earning a stern look from you, making him study the file more carefully.
“Be serious.”
“I’m your boss, you know!”
“Yeah, somehow. Anyway, I feel there is something underlying. Perhaps exasperated by the cocaine.”
“Up the ass! Hah!” He’s smacking his long leg now, chuckling, earning your glare. “Oof you’re so serious, sorry, carry on.” He gives you a mock salute, and your eyes are so far back in your head they might stay that way.
“So I’m wondering if he has something else, untreated, the man has no history of any doctor visits since he was living with his parents.”
He taps his chin then. “Hmm, good point. It’s possible. Have we checked him for Chron’s?”
“Shit, maybe, that would make so much sense too, his white blood cell count is through the roof. I’ll leave a note to run some tests before I go.” You take the folder back then, your fingers brushing, and it brings a blush to your cheeks.
“What’s wrong, intern?”
“Just weirded out by you, Dr. Hojo.” He snorts then.
“Dr. Hojo!?”
“It’s what they call you, I guess it’s true.” You say, raising a brow, and he is leaning close, too close. You can smell that stupidly expensive cologne he wears every day, filling your senses far too much. You try to avoid those eyes, even though you look at them all the time, they still are…
Too much.
“And you don’t ever wanna just get eaten out?” You blush more now, looking down as he stands up tall, so fucking tall over you. “Don’t be shy now, we spend more time together than alone.”
“I don’t do that when not in relationships.” He pauses, and you expect some joke, since he takes nothing serious but surgery it seems. But he tilts your chin up, and studies you with those eyes, lids lowering ever so slightly.
“Aw, so you’re a good girl.” He says teasingly, causing a warm sensation to spread through your stomach at his words. You shake your head and try to ignore the fluttering feeling within you.
“Don’t say that!”
“Turn you on?”
“No! Jesus. I don’t care what people do with their bodies, I don’t care if you’re a whole manwhore-”
“Excuse me!”
“But I just need a relationship, I’m not attracted to just looks, there has to be a deeper connection.” He studies you carefully now, so serious unlike his usual goofy demeanor.
“Hmm, a challenge.”
“What now?” You glare up at him, clutching the folders to your chest tightly. “Not a challenge, you psycho. Go get all the blowjobs you want, like Thanos collecting all those infinity stones.”
He grins, sharp little fangs glinting, and you don’t like the effects it’s having on your body, or your mind. You can barely take a breath. “You’re actually so funny, holy shit.”
“You don’t really know me. Aside from work.”
“You never take me up on any of those offers of coffee, or grabbing a bite, all you do is work Missy. All work, no play, makes a sad girl.” He taps your nose, and it scrunches up, making him smile a bit. “Cute.”
“Whatever, I have to work my ass off, it’s important, I have to make sure I get to scrub in with you. That chance comes at the end of this month.”
“Well you’re the top intern I have, so don’t worry so much.” He pats your shoulder, and you blink a bit. “Surprised? How. You graduated top of the school, you bust your cute little butt, and you’re intelligent, caring for your patients. Of course I was picking you first.”
“Oh my god…”
“You’ve ruined your own surprise. Act surprised when you find out, mmkay?” You hug him then, heart racing as you think of it. “Oh so now you like me.”
“I can really scrub in to a surgery with you!?” You couldn't contain your excitement as you leaned back and looked up at Satoru Gojo. He nodded, his hands taking hold of your waist through your scrubs, and that touch?
Does things, fuck.
“I’m so sorry-”
“You’re fine, intern. Stay a little longer.” You nervously step back, his hands are still on your waist, making you tremble, as your eyes both lock.
“I can never fuck such an opportunity up. Um… thank you though, that gives me so much hope, maybe I can actually relax for two minutes!” He smiles softly, nodding, his hands falling to his sides. “I’m sorry I…”
“Interrupted? Nah. Think you made me cum quick.”
“What!?” You glare again, and his smirk makes you itch to smack him all over again. “Dr. Gojo!”
“You’re so pretty though, I think it made her job quicker. Win win.”
“I’m out of here. Ugh.” You turn away, hand on the knob, and then his comes on top of it and gently unlocks it with a twist, you feel his hard body against your back, and you get overwhelmed in his office, damn near unable to breathe, as he’s clearly…
Is Dr. Gojo inhaling your hair!?
“New shampoo?” He asks, you turn to glare up at him, putting your faces far, far too close.
“How would you know my…”
“You always wear that one that smells like strawberries, this one is more floral. Hmm I don’t know if I like it as much, but it’s still yummy.”
“I… you…”
“See you later, intern.” He says softly, then finally steps away, leaving you reeling as you hastily step out without a word, leaning your back against his door, shutting your eyes for a moment in the quiet hall his office is in. You shake yourself out of it quickly, he’s just being…
Dr. Hojo.
Notorious womanizer, but the best damn surgeon there was, a whole idiot and yet an entire genius. And not your type, not at all, even if he’s gorgeous, you did not like man whores, or men that aren’t serious, especially not your boss, anyway. Fucking your boss in this industry would essentially make everyone question every accomplishment as favoriteism.
You sure weren’t going to sacrifice all your hard work for some dick.
You bounce away, heading to the little cafe where your friends are waiting, sitting next to Yuta who hands you a coffee with a little smile. “Thank you, ugh.”
“You’re welcome, girlie.”
“So, party?”
“Maki!” You three say, and she sighs, shooting her espresso down.
“Next weekend! Come on you guys, what do you say?”
“Oh fine.” You concede. Maki, Yuta and Toge all live with you, in your town home, since you could absolutely not afford it yourself, with the shitty pay of your internship and the college bills. It was left to you, but you still had property taxes and other bills, so they helped a ton. “No one better fuck my house up, I swear.”
“Hell yeah, here’s to a party bitches.” She holds up her little styrofoam cup, and you all cheers each other then, laughing.
“Party, hmm?” Comes Dr. Gojo’s voice, he’s standing there with Dr. Geto and Dr. Nanami. You all get nervous then, but he grins. “I’m coming. What about you guys?”
“No way.” Nanami grumbles, he’s very serious, his glasses slung over his sandy blond hair, his face exhausted.
“I’ll come.” Dr. Geto chimes in, chuckling and sipping his coffee, he’s as tall as Dr. Gojo and well swoon worthy. He would be more your type you think, with that serious yet fun nature, whereas Dr. Gojo…
“C’mon Nanami. You gotta, you gotta, you-”
“Jesus you’re a child.” You say, and Gojo gasps at you, Geto and even Nanami laugh, only earning Gojo’s scowl.
“You brat, I’m a good eight years older than you!”
“You look like a twenty year old frat boy.”
"And you look like an angry little brat!” He shot back, only causing more laughter to erupt from the group.
“Okay, okay.” Dr. Geto holds up his hands now. “Let’s be nice, kids.”
“Kids! Suguru I’m older than you.” Gojo says with a glare.
“Like six months. Anyway, we’ll be there at this party, text us the details? We’d love to unwind.” Dr. Geto says, and Maki jumps up now, as you and Gojo are glaring at each other across your table. “Got it, thank you Maki.”
“Of course, we’ll invite both of your interns too. It’ll be much needed after hell month.” You just sit there, as they all talk, and Gojo is all pouty, like a baby. You peek at your phone now, seeing a text from your shitty ex, your face falls.
“Everything okay?” Maki asks softly, and you sigh, nodding.
“Just the ex.” You whisper back.
“Ex huh?” Satoru has somehow gotten behind you, leaning over, you smack at his hand then, glaring. “What, I wanna know!”
“You’re too fucking much sometimes. Ugh.” You stand up then, slinking past him. “I’m headed to get changed and then I’m leaving. See you all at home?” They all nod, eyeing you and Satoru curiously, you wave at the Doctors then head out.
Ugh, along with Satoru just being… weird and annoying, and your ex? He was a toxic, needy mess. He’d left you because you didn’t have enough time for him, and maybe you really didn’t, how could you have a relationship until your internship was finished? The first week none of you even left the hospital, sleeping in bunk beds and showering there.
But he constantly needed you, made you feel guilty, would fuck with your alarms and everything. Thank God he was long gone, even if he was annoying you currently, you delete his messages, heading to the locker room and hearing steps. You look back curiously to see Satoru holding the door open for you.
“What are you doing?”
“I am sorry, that was rude of me.”
“Yeah, well, what’s new.” You both walk into the locker room now, Satoru’s shrugging off his white lab coat, your cheeks heat up while you slip off your scrub top, it was normal to change in front of everyone, you all had co op locker rooms and showers even, all of you took years of anatomy, the human body was nothing really but parts.
But as you feel his eyes on you, when you’re down to just a black lace bra and a pair of boy shorts, you tense a bit, looking at him, shirtless, his lips parted as he looks at you. “I am sorry I know I annoy you, Miss perfect.”
“I’m no Miss perfect. I guess I have a lot to prove.” You say softly, trying not to drink in his rippling muscles, perfect well defined torso, cuts low where he’s now sliding up a pair of dark blue jeans.
His blue eyes fixate on you as he does, as you’re sliding on a pair of jeans yourself, buttoning them with trembling hands. “I had a lot to prove once too. I do understand.”
“You’re being serious?” You tease, earning a little smile, as he slides a black long sleeve shirt over his head. You get flustered as you realize your nipples are pressed against the cups of your bra, sliding your shirt and then a jacket on yourself, sitting at the bench to slide on your black boots.
“I can be serious sometimes, I just think there’s enough death, sadness, and depression in this career. Why not just try to have some fun? Otherwise, it’ll just consume you.” He says softly, in that husky voice of his, so sexy it alone could wreck someone. But his words…
“That makes sense.” You say softly now, standing as he does, grabbing your purse and locking up your locker, spinning the combination, at the same time he grabs his keys and wallet. “So you try to… brighten up things.”
“Yeah, someone has to.” He walks to you then, tapping your nose once more. “You’re too serious, you’ll have to lighten up, or this career will wreck you.”
You nod then, carefully, realizing perhaps this slutty, silly doctor had a lot more to him, than just being the perfect surgeon. “I’ll take that advice. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, also…” He leans forward as you all are stepping out of the locker room, headed toward the automatic glass doors, and you look at him curiously. “Nice panties.”
“Oh fuck you, Dr. Hojo!” You glare now, shoving at him, as he heads to his mercedes benz, and you’re in your ancient SUV that sounds like a beast.
“Night-night, intern.” He shoots you two fingers, sliding into his fancy car with blacked out windows. You roll your eyes, putting your car in gear.
What a day.
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This is just a little bit of what I'm thinking of doing when I finish up my Lawyer Gojo story, thought I'd see who wants to be tagged and is interested in this :) Look forward to your thoughts on Dr. Hojo lol!
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theonlyhonoredone · 2 days ago
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Sukuna BF Headcanons
Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna x Reader
Warnings: none
Summary: my ideas about how Sukuna would be as a partner
Masterlist
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bf!Sukuna does not realize he’s falling for you until he is already in love with you. It’s not entirely a falls second and harder situation, but he certainly realizes it later than you. Something would trigger it for him, either you going on vacation or a date or something that forced him to face the idea of his life without you. Once he realized how much he hated that idea he realized that he was absolutely in love with you.
bf!Sukuna who would do anything to get with you. He’ll make it know to you the second he realizes his feelings that he wants you to be his and no one else's ever. He’s an intense guy and he’s overwhelming with his confession. It sounds more like a proposal but he’s only asking you to be his girlfriend. Luckily your used to his intensity at that point and you agree, but tell him he has to take you on an actual date before you become official.
bf!Sukuna is going to panic at first but once you’re together it all just clicks. You’re a natural fit and he quickly becomes more affectionate and soft with you. He has no shame about acting this way in public too, he wants everyone on earth to you know that you belong to each other and they should all just leave you alone.
bf!Sukuna loves when other people see you holding hands or kissing or anything else, he thinks everyone is jealous of his perfect girlfriend and finds joy in thinking about them crying to themselves over the fact that they can’t have you. If he tells you this you just tell him he’s ridiculous and that no one is thinking of stealing his girlfriend because everyone is terrified of him. He’ll laugh in response and tell you that’s for good reason.
bf!Sukuna is a scary man, and you know that he's quick to anger and has no qualms about turning things physical. You’ve seen him get into numerous fights, but still, you just can’t imagine finding him scary. He can be snarky and mean sure, but he’s always so soft with you that you’d sooner compare him to a kitten than a monster. He’s careful to never raise his voice with you, even in the most heated arguments. He knows that he’s a scary man, it’s something he takes pride in, but he doesn’t want you to see him that way. You’re the only person he views as his equal, so he makes sure that he treats you as such.
bf!Sukuna doesn’t get to the point of explosive anger with you, but he’s certainly still dramatic. He’s not the best at regulating his emotions so sometimes he simply storms out of the room. It scared you the first time but he called you an hour later from the gym and apologized. He’d been getting worked up and he needed some alone time. It was one of the first times he’d really gotten vulnerable with you, confessing that he was worried about saying something nasty to you or scaring you with his anger. After a long talk you asked him to just tell you when he needed a break or time alone and you’d happily give it to him. He does his best but sometimes he still storms out and part of you thinks he just likes making a dramatic exit.
bf!Sukuna can be overbearing at times, and controlling. It comes more so from a selfish desire to have everything his way than an actual desire to control you. Once you told him you felt like he was trying to control you he was quick to back off because he really does want to be the best partner possible. He feels that’s what you deserve and he wants to be the one to give you everything you deserve.
bf!Sukuna is willing to work on his issues in context of you and your relationship, so you can both be happy together. However, if anyone else were to complain about his behavior he’d likely respond with a few cutting words and possibly a slap.
bf!Sukuna looks up to you in a lot of ways. You’re much calmer than him and kind to everyone you meet. He thinks you bring a good balance to each other because you can be overly kind to the point of being a pushover and he can be, well, just an asshole.
bf!Sukuna is very protective of you, because he thinks you're too kind and too good for the world and anyone who hurts you should pay ten fold. Surprisingly though, you're just as protective over him. He’s a perfectionist to a fault and you often have to drag him away from a task and force him to relax. You’re the only one who knows about his secretive soft side so you protect that part of him with your life, making sure he always knows he’s loved and appreciated and that he doesn’t have to be perfect at everything.
bf!Sukuna who expects perfection from himself but is the biggest hype man in the world when it comes to you. Anything you want to try he’ll encourage and tell you you’re great at it no matter what. He adores watching you try new things too, he thinks you look cute when you concentrate and the joy on your face once you finally accomplish whatever task you’re working at is the most heartwarming sight he can imagine. 
bf!Sukuna thinks you and everything you do are perfect. If you decide to paint something he’s declaring it greater than the Mona Lisa and hanging it on his wall immediately. You bake cookies and he’s telling you you should open a bakery because they’re so good people will pay millions for them. When he taught you how to drive stick shift and you kept failing to change gears he insisted there must be something wrong with his car and that he’d have to fix it so you could try again. You lost a game of pool? Doesn’t matter, you’re a beginner and he swears he’s never seen anyone do as good as you when they’re starting off. He’ll swear on his life he was way worse than you when he started and that you'll be better than him in no time.
bf!Sukuna who's always encouraging, even when you're facing an abject failure. You’ve learned that’s just one of the ways he shows his love. He’s not the type of man to sit down and pour his heart out to you, but he makes sure you know he’ll always be there to support you, no matter what. He sometimes tries to express himself more verbally, and though it often comes out sounding more like a command, you appreciate it nevertheless. 
bf!Sukuna is very physical, almost always having his arm around your shoulders or his hand on your back. He is always the driver and keeps his hand planted firmly on your thigh wherever you go. At night he’s cradling you against his large body, wrapping you up tight in his arms, and burying his face in your hair. He’s pulling you into his lap at parties, always trying to sneak into the shower with you, hugging you from behind anytime he can. The man can’t keep his hands to himself. One of his favorite things to do is wait until you’re all cozied up watching a movie and then start to tickle you. He likes the way you whine and tell him to stop because you’re trying to watch the movie. You try to push him off which always leads to the two of you getting into a wrestling match which he sometimes lets you win. 
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yanderefarm · 2 days ago
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I need me a silivan request, like vampire reader is at one of those vampires parties, silvan was sitting on reader’s lap all dolled and pretty, and then one of a high statue vampire would be memrized by silivan and would ask reader to buy silivan fron him, and at that time reader was getting confused by his feeling, he got attached to his pet, and acted jealous on the other vampire.
cw;; dehumanization, fluff,
this is such a cute idea. thats your pet!!!
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this was your first party with silvan as your pet after centuries of seemingly looking down on the practice of pet humans. you still weren't sure about keeping him, he seemed fragile and delicate and stupid. even now at a party where he should be passed around and adored by every hungry horny vampire in the place he was clinging to you. his little hand gripped the back of your shirt tightly like a child afraid of getting lost. was it cute? maybe.
you decided to be generous to the frightened human and grant him permission to sit with you while you talked about work. he sat in the chair next to you and you pulled him back up immediately.
"humans don't sit there."
"im sorry... where do i sit, sir?"
that's how he ended up in your lap. it attracted many eyes to you but they still kept to themselves. they were smart.
the bold idiot who approached you wasn't.
you were minding your own business when this fool came up to you. you recognized him as someone who had recently came into ownership of a large human farm, he was still only a baron though. he smiled at you and then even wider at the pretty thing on your lap.
"did you get a pet, my lord?"
you let out a heavy sigh. "i haven't decided yet."
"how much would you sell it for?" the other vampire reached out and grabbed one of silvan's curls. silvan tried his best not to move but he pulled back into your chest slightly.
".... i don't know."
"it looks pretty high quality! where did you get it?"
this guy's voice was uniquely grating on your nerves. how he kept referring to silvan as an it, how he looked at him like an object. there was this feeling in your stomach that he wasn't just seeing silvan as an object but as an object that would increase his own value. he didn't even like silvan properly! he only cared because silvan was with you.
"i had him bred specifically to be beautiful. if he were for sale I'm sure he would be worth more than anything you own."
you could tell you hurt his pride with that. "that's... I'll have you know I've come into a lot of wealth recently, my lord!"
"oh?" you feigned ignorance. "oh i did hear about you acquiring some land."
"the 5th largest farm in your territory and 3rd in quality." he puffed out his chest in pride. like you don't own number one on both of those lists. god this guy is annoying.
"then you can have him if i can have that." you smiled smugly watching his face immediately falter.
"h-huh? but that's..."
"you don't want my specially bred pet?"
"he-he's certainly beautiful!! if-if you get into the breeding market you should let me know first thing!!!" he scurried off.
you hugged silvan's small frame tight against your body without thinking, wrapping yourself around him like a protective blanket. the silver haired boy was blushing in your arms his entire face red while you were pouting.
"sir... are.. am i.. yours..?" silvan asked tepidly his voice just loud enough for you to hear.
you felt his warmth from his embarrassment seeping into your body and you held him even tighter. your cold heart yearned to beat.
"yes. you're mine. no one else can have you."
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pix-writes · 2 days ago
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for requests. . . how about an x reader where reader pegs Ford 👀? Is he open to the idea?
Oh I think we can arrange such a thing! >:) Hope you enjoy!
Ford x F!Reader | In Theory and in Practice
Notes/tags: Ford and reader have some limited past experiences, but tried to keep it a little vague. That said though, I do allude to them to be both bi/had experiences with someone of the same sex as them. Anal smut, some Dom/sub dynamics and switching.
NSFW 18+ below cut, so MDNI!
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The subject comes up from you, the conversations you get into around pleasure with Ford often end up in the logical sphere, starting lightly before anything more heated can arise. It was something to enjoy about your partnership, comforting in the pragmatic and somewhat direct, open way in which Ford spoke about such things. It reduced both of your anxieties and any reservations that you had about bringing up anything that you wanted.
Your partner still got flustered, however, and you were a little tentative in how you brought up this next subject.
"I never got to try it in any of my other relationships with men, some seem to think it's not important to involve the prostate in sex."
"The prostate when stimulated gives men pleasure, so I see no reason why it should not be, um, paid attention to. I certainly haven't had any reservations when I have been on my own, in the past."
"And with others?"
Ford did blush a little at this. "In relationships with other men, yes. And with you."
"Yes, but technically it was you who was doing it, Ford." You paused to take a breath before asking your next question. "What if I did?"
Your partner looked stunned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I'd never thought about it before?"
You ask him if he ever heard of pegging, he hadn't and you did your best to lay out what it meant, slowly, despite your eagerness at Ford's receptiveness, so far.
"But how would you...?" Was one of his questions and you couldn't help but giggle. You knew he didn't like to be on the backfoot or feel that you were laughing at his expense, but how could you not help but be amused by his perplexed expression, his innocence when it came to the gaps in his knowledge?
"Oh Ford, have I not told you yet about the wonders of silicone?!"
Ford didn't take long to mull over the decision on whether he would like to explore it, in fact, you knew him to be as eager as you were, despite never knowing about pegging before bringing it up, though none of this should have surprised you, you thought, looking back on it. Ford wasn't a stereotypical man and did not have many qualms when it came to experiencing new things. All the more reason you were excited! Though you knew that he was going to take his time with researching it, but you could wait.
As the days passed he added his small questions about what you had planned, one here, one there. He would hum and nod and maybe ask for more clarification or an adjustment. In fact, he inisted that you practice putting the strap on you ordered, once it came.
"Can I see it?"
"I think the straps are too tight, how do I-?" You were glancing around for the instructions, to see Ford already had them to hand.
"Here, like this." He gently tugs on the threads and it loosens, relieving the indents that were already appearing over your skin.
Self consciousness ate at you, unable to hide that you felt so clueless you let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry! This is... it just feels silly!"
"It is a little bizarre!" Ford joins in with your laughter. "But preparation makes all the difference, my dear."
Once it came to the moment, however, Ford had forgotten what a disparity there was between theory and practice! It had been so long since he had ever been in this position (metaphorically, rather than physically in the same position... but, you get the idea!) and he was starting to remember how vulnerable it can feel...
You've been working him open steadily, using plenty of lube that you kept beside you, Ford encouraging you and helping direct your movements to what he found most pleasurable, voice strained already.
He could feel that pressure and heat from how you slide in, one of your hands coming to soothingly rub at his back, reminding him to relax into it, to adjust. When he gives you encouragement to move, he can feel your form pressing into his. Your hold on him was so gentle, the tenderness made him feel like he was adrift.
He cried out as you set a firmer pace and you stilled for a moment.
"Ford?"
He groaned. "Keep... keep going, baby."
Ford reaches round to find your hand and you let him intertwine your fingers together, placing your hand further forward so the hold would be comfortable.
"You're doing so well. You know that?" You placed kisses over his shoulder before resuming your steady pace. " So good for me, Ford."
The toy that you had gotten was one that had an end that sat just inside your entrance, the pressure of it working you up. Arousal pooling in your belly as you thrust your hips into him.
He looked so beautiful underneath you, his back arched. God, he was a sight to behold. And so you told him, words spoken as you caught your breath. Knowing the words were affecting him from experience if not from the way his breathing changed, those little noises he made that you so desperately wanted to hear, the ones that went straight to your core.
You were taking your time though and Ford began to rock back into your touch, impatient.
Ford whined your name, turning his head, pupils blown wide. "Don't hold back."
It was somewhat rare that he ever got into an impatient mood, the man was unflappable most of the time. A wicked smile started to spread across your face as you tapped at his side, getting to move upwards, into more of a sitting position before grabbing a fistful of his hair, pulling him back into your chest, an arm coming to rest across his broad chest as he squirmed.
"What was that, hm?"
"Ah, please! Please, I want you to touch me, please."
"So polite." You said teasingly.
Adjusting your grip on his hair your pace became firmer, hand roaming down his chest to touch his achingly hard cock.
"That's it." Ford's moans were rising into a delicious background orchestra and you prided yourself on the knowledge that you had worked him up so much.
"W-wait! I want to see you when I- want to touch you, please?" His voice wavered, unsure of his own wants when he was so close to the edge.
"This is about you, Ford." You considered for a moment. "But you can turn around, if you wish."
It was a more awkward shuffle compared to the last, but the break in the tension didn't last long; the heat rising to your face as you saw how wrecked Ford looked, hair stuck up at different angles. Legs rising to wrap around you, the muscles there flexing against your hips. You wondered what you must've looked like to him in such a position, when the roles were reversed. Was this why he liked it?
Ford was practically melting into the mattress by the time your hands were on him again. That first rate brain of his switching off thoughts and transferring to focus on pleasure. He pulled you in so that he could kiss you, in between your praises and moans.
"So good for me, darling."
"Such a good boy."
"Fuck, cum for me!"
Eyes focused on your angelic face above him, he came. His release coating his stomach, and your hand, still firm on his cock as he rode his orgasm out with a shuddering moan.
Pulling out, you collapsed onto the bed, exhausted, letting Ford take over. First wiping you both down, then releasing you from the strap, soon replacing the end of the toy with his fingers, his mouth grazing your breast hungrily as he laid beside you.
He cursed under his breath. "Oh, sweetheart, you're soaked."
Hot kisses trailed across your skin. "You don't have to. T-this, mmn, was about you."
He tutted, a glint entering his eyes. "But I thought I was your good boy. Don't you want me to make you cum? You've gotten so wet for me."
You whimpered, answering with a nod as you carded hand through his hair, gently, this time.
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mrsriddlenott · 2 days ago
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It’s Okay To Love Them Both
Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader x Enzo Berkshire
Kinda from all their POVs at different times. I absolutely love this and I am putting so much work into it that it is honestly funny and I’m gonna cry when I’m done🥹😂(may have gotten carried away) not entirely proofread yet.
Warnings: Fluff,Angst,Insecurities, Manipulation(kinda ig? I don’t see it as manipulative but I wanted to include the warning for ppl who don’t share that opinion), Nicknames(Princess, Gorgeous, Petal, Little Badger, etc)
*No smut but I can make a pt2 for that if it’s wanted*
{masterlist}
This was requested a LONG time ago and I REALLY hope the person who requested it is still here or in the old Taglist, I am so sorry this took so long. My brain just was not working properly for a long time but I think I am back in my groove. I have been working on this on and off for a literal YEAR so if you are not here I am so disappointed in myself for not getting it out to you.
You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when you started to fall for both the boys, but it started so innocently, and now it felt like it was always bound to grow from the very beginning. You met Enzo first, he had been assigned your tutor at the start of term thanks to your poor Potions grade every year prior. He worked with you tirelessly as though it was more than something asked of him by the head of his house, and when you inevitably out grew the need for a tutor, he invited you to your first Slytherin party as a celebration. A party that was of course thrown by his best friend. Enzo talked about Mattheo non-stop and you just had to meet him, however when he spoke with you that fateful night, you realized the trouble you were in and you just couldn’t stay away from him, you tried at first, but it was pointless.
The more you talked with them the more you felt for them. They were so easy to be around, Mattheo made you feel safe and heard, he always stood up for you even though his reputation could have been hindered by befriending a Hufflepuff. While Enzo made you feel known, he looked at you in a way that no one had before and opened your own mind up to itself. Even though they were so clearly different, as you grew closer with them, you began to notice just how similar the two were. Mattheo tried his hardest to hide it but on the inside he was the sweet boy no one saw, and Enzo had a hidden darkness within him that no one would guess, one that helped you come to terms with your own.
“Hello Princess, I’ve got a question,” Enzo stated from your side as he caught you off guard in the corridors, ripping you out of your thoughts with his smile alone. He watched you intently with his soft, safe eyes as he waited for you to respond. He was used to your adorable shocked expression by now, he knew you somehow weren’t used to this kind of attention yet, and certainly not from Slytherins, but he just couldn’t stop coming back to you. Neither of them could, so they just didn’t.
It’s not like they sat down and planned it….well not exactly. The idea was there of course, from the second Mattheo saw you he knew he wanted you he just didn’t want to hurt Enzo and even when they soon both realized they felt the same way, it wasn’t really a conscious decision….not in the beginning anyway. They’d speak to you one after the other like a pattern of turns, and never without telling each other beforehand. Eventually they started whispering about your little chats in their dorm late at night, almost debriefing the other as they reminisced and waited for their next chance to see you. It took quite awhile for the boys to realize just how far their feelings had grown, and not only for you, their own bond had been strengthened by their shared affections and time spent solely focused on you.
“Oh….what is it?” You spoke, slightly dazed after staring into Enzo’s eyes for a few seconds too many, something he reveled in as your pupils dilated and your lips formed a smile against your will. He chuckled at your nervousness, poking his elbow out for you to take as you resumed your walk to the Library, you took it immediately, settling your palm into the crook of his arm as he took your books into his free hand.
“I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to Hogsmeade tomorrow?” His voice was soft, calming, and comforting as he gently guided you through the tidal wave of students suddenly parting to let him through. It shocked you how not one, but two boys of such a high popularity status seemed to care so much about your presence. At first you genuinely assumed it was some joke, a prank some classmate had put them up to maybe, but after months of the two always coming back to you and getting absolutely nothing in return, you deemed yourself safe.
“Like a….?” You started, letting your sentence die out in embarrassment of being wrong, Enzo chuckled making your stomach jump as you entered the Library, “Yes Petal, I wanna take you out on a date.” He turned to face you as he set your books on the nearest study desk, taking your hand in his as he reiterated in a soft voice, “Would you like to go on a date with me? We can do whatever you like….or we can go with my plan?”
“You….have a plan?” It wasn’t like you were new to dating or having a partner, but you certainly weren’t used to said partner putting in such effort for you, making you feel as special as Enzo and Mattheo did so easily. You gulped slightly upon remembering Mattheo, would he be mad if you said yes? Or hurt? Would he care at all? Would he plan a date for you like this?
“Is that a yes?” Enzo chuckled as he watched your brows furrow upon you falling into your thoughts again, “It’s okay if you have plans or….or don’t want to join me,” He suddenly seemed very worried, his confidence faltering as you watched his face quietly.
“Of course I want to go with you Lorenzo,” He audibly sighed at your words, a warm feeling washing over him as soon as his arms wrapped around you, his head falling heavily against your shoulder as he laughed, “Had me thinking I ruined the best part of Hogwarts Lovely.” Your giggles pulled him from his hiding spot in your neck as your hands held onto his shoulders.
“No way I am for favorite thing about Hogwarts,” You laughed with a shake of your head, avoiding his eyes as you moved away to settle into your study spot. Enzo watched you from a few feet away now, observing your genuine misbelief and wondering how you could look in the mirror everyday and not see a portrait of royal standard. How you could possibly not see that he was falling madly in love with you, certainly he wasn’t that subtle was he? He’d just have to turn in up a notch then.
“I was thinking we could get a drink at the Three Broomsticks,” his voice was low and soft as he approached you again, slowly “After which I’ll spoil us with a trip to Honeydukes,” he paused, stepping closer still as you avoided direct eye contact, “Then we can eat sweets as we take a walk around the Black Lake and talk,” you gasped as his cold fingers brushed your warm skin, pulling a strand of hair behind your ear and tracing the shape of your jaw before pulling your chin up, forcing an intense eye contact, “How does that sound?” His voice was laced with his usual confidence once again as he placed his free hand on the desk, leaning into you further and towering over you with a smile. That crooked smile that was always so contagious made it impossible to stop yourself from smiling back and agreeing to the perfect date once more.
Enzo left the Library with a triumphant grin, giving you one last glance over his shoulder and throwing you a wink, reveling in your face glowing bright red. You found it difficult to suppress giggles as you tried to work on your studying, beginning to imagine your date with Enzo instead.
~~~~
It felt like you had spent days alone in the Library working on your homework, every little thought of Enzo distracting you from the work that had accumulated in your classes this week. You regretted not asking Enzo to keep you company, even though you were such a nervous wreck around him when you were alone together you just found everything to be so much easier with him there. It was like every bit of anxiety flitted away when either of your boys were there to comfort you.
“Hey Gorgeous,” Mattheo’s smooth voice derailed your train of thought as the chair behind you loudly scraped across the dusty stone floor, making you cringe as Mattheo plopped onto the creaking wood so he was sat only inches from you. “What are you stud-“ The loud shush from Madam Pince interrupted him as he laughed and held his finger to his lips jokingly, pulling his chair impossibly closer only to slowly whisper in your ear, “What are you studying?”
You tried to hide the shiver his voice sent down your spine, tingles covering your entire body before you could gain your control, “Just Transfiguration stuff, I’m almost done though,” Mattheo hums beside you, letting you silently work as he watched your very concentrated face while you wrote. He quickly became impatient however, tapping his fingers and feet to different beats you didn’t recognize as he slouched in his chair before dramatically sighing after only a few minutes and sitting up.
“Are you done yet?” He whispered, desperate for your undivided attention as he leant into you further, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch you like a lost puppy, “I’ve got something for you, ya know,” His excitement was evident in his hushed tone, making you finally turn to look at him again while he excitedly reached into his pocket with a proud smile upon getting you to look at him. He struggled momentarily, cursing under his breath as he pulled out a thin golden chain with a badger charm dangling from it.
You eyed the fine jewelry in his hand for only a split second, it was truly beautiful and your exact style, but it looked expensive and too elegant to be for you. Noticing the guilty glint in your eye, Mattheo didn’t give you the chance to deny the gift, believing it was yours already even if you wanted to throw it in the garbage as soon as he left. You would have to get used to being spoiled, he thought as he got up to delicately drape it across your neck and clip it in the back before you could ask the price or where he got it. He freed your hair from being trapped below the chain, bouncing it and fixing stray strands for you before leaving a kiss on the top of your head, “It’s almost as beautiful as you isn’t it my Little Badger?”
Your face was painted red in a matter of seconds as his hands felt up and down your arms mindlessly, his fingertips leaving tingles everywhere they touched giving you an entirely uncommon burst of confidence. You jumped from your seat with a loud thank you as your arms draped across his shoulders, letting your head rest on his toned body as his arms engulfed you in his warmth and his chest vibrated with a laugh, “You are very welcome Pretty Girl.”
Your eyes met as you pulled away from him, glossy eyes darting between his and his lips before you launched yourself forward to attack them with yours. Mattheo didn’t waste a second in returning your kiss, letting your lips meld together as he sighed against your mouth, the taste of your lips better than he could have ever imagined. Your fingers got lost in his hair, tugging at his curls and deepening the kiss, forcing him to restrain himself by gripping onto your hips tighter to keep from smashing you into the bookshelf behind him and starting a battle between your tongues. You hummed in satisfaction, your senses and thoughts lost in Mattheo as he nipped at your bottom lip making you whimper and fall farther into him. You wanted the kiss to last forever, the feeling of his hands grounding you, letting your brain focus for the first time since…..Enzo.
The image of the sweet boy who cared so much for you catching you making out with his best friend flashed in your mind, snapping you out of your pleasure as you abruptly pulled away from Mattheo with a shocked expression. Your eyes brimmed with tears at the thought of Enzo crying, hurting over you betraying him, hating you forever….you felt horrible. Your teary gaze locked with Mattheo’s before you were pushing away and grabbing your books, rushing from the Library without another word. After only a second of truly believing someone had Stupefied him, the curly headed boy tried to catch up to you, desperately calling your name before losing you in the packed corridors.
Mattheo cursed to himself as he reluctantly turned away from the direction you took and toward the Slytherin Common Room. He couldn’t stop thinking about every possible outcome this could cause, he should have said something, done something, but he was far too focused on your scent, your taste, the way you felt in his hands. He’s such an idiot, he needed to fix this, the thoughts bouncing back and forth in his mind as his legs numbly carried him through the castle.
“You need to make sure this date we planed goes well because I may have just royally screwed us” Mattheo was almost shouting as he slammed the door of his and Enzo’s shared dorm behind him, thanking the Gods that their dorm mates were off doing who knows what.
“What!? What are you talking about?” Enzo rushed forward on his bed, tossing his reading aside as he watched Mattheo’s face contort in worry. He could tell by his fidgeting hands and pacing of the room that he was truly worried there was no going back from whatever he did, and without a second thought, Enzo was standing to pull him into a hug, asking again, softer this time, “What went wrong?”
“She kissed me and I fucking kissed her back,” Mattheo snapped, slipping out of Enzo’s comfortable grasp as he pinched at the bridge of his nose, “and then she looked so sad and my mouth just would not form any words. I stood there like a fucking asshole while she was crying because I was too focused on her lips on mine.” He sighed, chewing at his thumb as he paced back and forth in the middle of the dorm.
“She kissed you though that’s a good thing, not exactly to plan, but that means she probably likes us bo-“ Mattheo was always so calm and collected, except for when it came to you, every worry that flashes through his brain about never seeing you again makes him less and less reasonable.
“I think her rushing out crying tells me otherwise Enzo,” Mattheo began to ramble, his brain was far too worried to be able to keep a single thought inside, “We need to give her space, let her have time to think before your date, she’s probably confused she….she probably doesn’t want to get hurt or or I don’t know hurt anyone else. She doesn’t know we want to be with her together….what if she thinks something bad li-like you’ll be mad.” Mattheo snapped his fingers and pointed to his best friend as though he had it all figured out, just to return to his ranting.
“Mattheo calm down, we don’t know anything yet okay,” Enzo knew that when Mattheo got like this, feeding his worries would not help, but as he continued to list off the many holes this plan had that they were just now realizing, the heavy feeling of anxiety settled into his chest.
~~~~
When the next afternoon finally came, you contemplated skipping the date entirely, telling Enzo you had plans after all, but some part of you just wouldn’t allow it. That same part controlled you as you desperately searched for an appropriate first date outfit, throwing dresses and various tops and bottoms on and off as your dorm room grew messy. “Damn Y/N/N, I knew you liked this boy but jeez….this much worry about an outfit?” Your dorm mate and best friend since First Year jokes as she strutted into the room.
“Hannah you’re a lifesaver, I need to borrow a dress, and it needs to be a good one because I already have something to apologize for.” You rambled, turning to her trunk that was always available for you to search through.
“What could you have possibly done to that boy that needs an apology? I think he very well could be obsessed with you.” She giggled, not realizing your worry as you halted your actions entirely, “Ikissedhisbestfriend” you jumbled, turning but avoiding the eyes of your best friend who only understood you thanks to her knowing you so well.
“You…wait did I hear that correctly? You- you and Riddle did what now?” Her shocked, almost excited expression had you feeling worse as you abandoned your search for a dress, flopping down onto your bed as tears welled in your eyes. “He’s gonna hate me when he finds out.” You sighed, hiding your face in your hands as the bed dipped beside you to make room for Hannah.
“Hey hey….Sweetie no rational person could ever hate you.” She sighed, rubbing the back of your hands as she pulled them from your face, “This is a grey area okay, you haven’t made a commitment to either of them and it’s clear they both want to be the one picked. You need to make a decision somehow and if they don’t want to make it easy on you this is going to get dramatic.” Your eyes met hers in confusion as tears ran down your face and onto your mattress, “I guess what I’m trying to say is….you need to make a decision either way and the only way to make the right choice is to know how they both would treat you, and the only way to find that out is to explore both options for a bit.”
“But….I don’t want to hurt them, and I want them both in my life still….I don’t know what I’d do if I made a decision and the other never spoke to me again.” Hannah gave you an apologetic smile before piping up again, “Well….it would be cruel to keep them both at your feet waiting just to never pick, you’ve got two options here, let them go and hope you meet someone else one day, or come to terms with what may happen after you do choose.”
“I’m gonna choose, I just can’t yet, I don’t wanna lose either of them.”
~~~~
Enzo’s breath catches in his throat as he sees you walking into the crowed dining room of the restaurant, the red fabric of your dress hugging you perfectly. The badger necklace he had helped Mattheo pick out rested on your chest so wonderfully he just had to comment on it. “Well isn’t this cute, where’d ya get it huh?” He asks in a teasing tone you know so well.
“Um well, I” As you start trying to speak all that can come out is sobs at the thought of hurting him, suddenly your dress is too tight and the room too stuffy, you can’t breath. “I um,” you try but once again fail. Before you can think you feel hands on your waste and your being tugged out of the busy restaurant by someone as Enzo follows. Once the door was open you rushed into the cold air and walked away from the two.
“Did i do something?” Enzo’s voice was desperate, strained to a point that you thought he was about to cry right now, “Please just tell me how I messed up so i can fix it, I promise I didn’t mean to hurt you,” His voice raised as you kept walking to catch your breath pacing back and forth before taking notice of Mattheo standing beside him.
“What are you doing here?” You spit out, not meaning for it so sound as mean as it did, you sigh as you correct your voice, tears beginning to fall again. “I’m so sorry, I thought I could pick but I can’t, I love you both and I am so so sorry.”
The boys eyes lock together immediately and as though on cue they start to laugh, they know it’s wrong, they know they shouldn’t but they can’t stop. And somehow you know it is okay and start to laugh too.
“What is wrong with you two?” You ask between tears and laughter, you must look a mess but your two best friends still stare at you as though you hung the moon.
“Petal, we want you too, you think we can chose. Us. Two of the dumbest people you have ever known.” Enzo says with a giggle as he steps up to you to kiss you tear streaked face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Petal, but I was planning on having Mattheo come to our little date anyway, we wanted to tell you tonight how much we want you. Together. All of us.”
Your eyes dart to Mattheo as he smiles wildly down at you, “so you’re not mad at me”
“Of course not Princess, you’re our perfect girl.” Mattheo says in a soft voice as he moves to wrap his arms around both Enzo and y/n, leaving a kiss on both their cheeks as comfort he has never felt begins to settle in his chest. He can be happy like this.
Your rapid heart beat begins to settle in the arms of your two favorite boys, your tears continue but only from happiness and the feeling of pure luck bringing you to the happiest moment of your life.
“Now, how about we finish the date we had planned for you Petal.” Enzo sates as he grabs your hand, your other quickly being grabbed by Mattheo as they begin to lead you to Honeydukes.
-HP Taglist-
Ask to be added/removed and I’m sorry if your tag doesn’t work
(Anyone still on here that does not wish to be lmk, i know I have not posted in SO long)
AND if you are the person who requested this plz slide in my inbox bc i am SO sorry it took so long AND i want to add to this too so give me ideas plz if you’re still following my blog
@anonoussy @timmytime17 @talia-scar123 @spencer-reids-wife @ttsbaby01 @animorose @whydoireadanymore @thievin-stealing @spiderman-stilinski @evycloudberry @shady-the-simp @ashisabitgay @porterport @callsignwidow @cicicicicisstuff @mattheoriddleswifee @junebugin-july @moonlightreader649 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @rubyliquor @perverteddsdreams @mildly-delulu @fairydimples07 @shadowmoonlight0604 @80scinemvasworld @nevillescomslut @annaisabookworm @abaker74 @athenalikethegoddess @limeren @h-------n @kezibear @mattheoriddlemarcuslopez @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @curiousshifter101 @tobyr68 @spididerman @hedwigprewett12 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @kiwi475
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tokoyamisstuff · 3 days ago
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f! Reader | no warnings
They're all 100% meant to be girl dads. I can't explain why, it'd just be so cute. Literally the safest baby on earth.
Alucard
"I'd trade anything I have just for a child with your eyes."
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Sis, that man is dead. 😭 I doubt even with his powers that's in his range of possibility.
No seriously, you'll probably voice your wish metaphorically, meaning it as a compliment, but it will throw him into a full blown existential crisis. He hates not being able to provide you with whatever you want, after all.
The suggestion alone wakes a desire in him that he never even thought about before. He'll secretly dwell in self-pity, fantasizing about what it'd be like.
At some point, he cannot bear that it'd stay a mere dream and suggest adoption.
Anderson
"Huh? *points to some orphans playing in the background* Don't we have enough already?"
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Takes him a moment to understand the gravity of your words. Error. Brain stopped working.
Even if you're already long in a relationship/have been intimate with each other, he'll get adorably bashful at the thought. Is shocked how excited the thought of your belly growing round with his child makes him.
I don't think he's entirely opposed to the idea, but he honestly sees all of the orphans as his kids. There's already so many children without a family that need love and care out there, right?
Well, in the end the circumstances would easily allow it, and he's got enough experience. One more certainly won't hurt.
The Captain
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...alright? Doesn't need to be told twice. He is the kind of guy that just goes along with everything his spouse says.
Not to sound indecent but he's a man on a mission, so prepare to be dragged into the next best place to fuck at any given time. Welp, that's how he found out he's got a breeding kink.
Gets even more clingy and openly affectionate than usual. Seriously, he can't wait until it finally happens, he might even be more thrilled than you are.
Walter
"My dear, you have no clue how much your words mean to me."
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Delighted and overjoyed. It's been a great wish his entire life, but due to the course of his life he gave up on this naive hope years ago. To ever think he'd be given this chance, and with you of all people...he's truly blessed.
Would be prepared for every eventuality and literally carry you on his hands. You're used to being coddled by him, but this is some queen treatment right here.
His gratitude knows no limits. You'll forever be reminded of how much your family and your willingness to carry this child means to him.
Maxwell
"Wha- why? Am I not enough for you?"
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Ugh. Children? He can barely tolerate dealing with people in general. Seriously, you should know him better than that.
Still, he's surprisingly cooperative. If you insist, guess it can't hurt as long as they turn out like you...
The closer the due-date however, the greater his panic and regret. Doesn't think he's cut out to be a father.
Definetly cries like a dog when holding his child for the first time. It's the most precious thing he's ever seen and he ends up being the most loving parent, thriving to give them everything he had lacked as a child himself.
Endlessly showers you in praise for gifting him this miracle, and having convinced him to the best decision of his life. This probably won't be the only child you'll have.
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middlingmay · 1 day ago
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I come begging for some happy todcl headcanons bc I’d like to live in ur beautiful universe rather than my reality as an American 😭
I'm sorry, anon. I can't believe this has happened for a second time. Whilst I respect everyone's right to vote how they deem fit, I'll never understand their choice. Or how he was allowed to run in the first place.
Whilst where I live and our political parties certainly have their problems, I'm also living in a world with: workers rights including flexible working and a push against zero hour contracts and fire and rehire; tenants rights; buffer zones for abortion clinics; free period products; a push towards the Gender Recognition (Scotland) Bill; progress towards a circular, greener economy; the Muirburn Bill and protection for Raptor species; discussions on the Assisted Dying Bill; and free prescriptions and the NHS (which even in its worst and sorriest state, still gives me free healthcare). Scotland has a strong conservative bent as a society, there's no point pretending otherwise, and this absolutely includes misogyny, sectarianism out the wazoo and other religious intolerance and racism. But politically we are trying to expand rights, protection, and freedom of choices. Not restrict them.
But! That it not what you came to my inbox for! Happy TODCL headcanons, here we go:
We all know John likes to squeeze Gale's waist, but Gale likes to do it back just as much, if not more. He loves John's thickness. Not because it makes him feel small or anything, he just loves grabbing him and touching him and feeling something solid and soft and tangible under his hands. It makes John feel real to him, when he thought he was never going to get anything like their relationship in his life.
John often takes them on a drive just before sunset. He loves sitting there with the top down, Gale's head in his lap and his long legs dangling out the window, and watching the sun go down.
Crosby and Gale become keen penpals after Crosby moves away. He mentions Will in his letters sometimes, and Gale glares at those letters so hard, it's a miracle they don't burst into flame.
John is ticklish, but just on his feet. Gale discovers this when his hands gets too close in bed one day and next thing he knows he's blinking at the ceiling and John is peering over the edge of the bed at him, wide-eyed. Gale strategises how to make best use of this discovery.
Gale very quickly discovers he's got a lot of fantasies and a lot of thoughts that had just been waiting for the opportunity to come pouring out. John thinks he's going to have to guide Gale through the intimacy in their relationship but he surprisingly has to try to keep up with him.
I hope that at least makes you feel a little better anon. I have a bunch more but a lot of them are plot related and I don't want to give anything away.
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necrotic-nephilim · 1 month ago
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i personally have very complicated feelings on the Gotham Knights video game and the routes it takes with characterization. i think it has a charm to it and it goes in an interesting direction with everyone (especially within the confides of the plot of the game) but it does have certain moments that veer painfully fanon for me. (such as: the dialogue where Tim drinks too much coffee) it's an interesting story for what it is but i don't view it comics-based for characterization and therefore don't care to interact with it much for like. fanfic purposes.
that *said* though. i do have to give the game some kind of credit for giving one of the top five JayTim moments that lives rent free in my mind. every since i played the game, the cutscene lives in my mind daily. it's the specific cutscene where Jason and Tim are arguing about whether or not Jason's non-lethal bullets are too dangerous for the field, and the argument leads to TIm *standing in front of the target* Jason is shooting and telling Jason to shoot him. it lives rent free for me. i never stop thinking about this.
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the absolute certainty Tim has that he is in no danger standing in front of Jason, who has a loaded gun pointed at his face. the way Jason *hesitates* for just a moment before lowering the gun. he thinks about it for just a second. Gotham Knights JayTim seem to get along very well and can rely on each other, but Jason still clearly holds a bitterness about his death and Tim that flickers through in some lines of dialogue under the guise of jokes. especially since this game deals *heavily* with concepts of Pit Madness causing an altered state of consciousness, i think it's believable that occasionally, Jason fights the urge to fight and hurt Tim for the feeling of being replaced.
i like their tension so much in this canon. they get along but you can *tell* Tim is afraid of addressing Jason's trauma or even addressing Jason head-on, and Jason leans into spooking Tim about it. which isn't very comics feeling in their dynamic, but it is an interesting way to place their dynamic if you're playing with a more timid Tim who's newer to the role of Robin. (which he seems to be in-game) he really doesn't want to offend Jason, or worse, piss him off. but he'll still face Jason head on for things like this, while completely aware of what Jason could be capable of.
and Jason seems very protective of Tim and respecting Tim as a Robin in typical Jason fashion. if Tim pushes, Jason *will* relent. he knows this is a kid who's proved himself and should be treated with equal respect, sometimes even more than Dick and Babs do in-game.
so for all that to culminate in Tim stepping in front of Jason's loaded gun that he *knows* is on the edge of being too dangerous, just to force Jason to listen? it's the most unhinged way Tim could've gotten his point across in this scene. he was literally daring Jason to hurt him and playing with a very dangerous fire. but he did it anyway bc he believed he could make Jason heel just at the thought of hurting Tim. and he was *right*. they're gay and i'm feral ty.
#necrotic festerings#jaytim#tim drake x jason todd#gotham knights game#i hate their character designs for what it's work#BUT the size difference. jesus.#anyway i could write a gotham knights jaytim fic i think#i'm *very* unsure the ages intended for these characters#bc tim certainly seems to be intended to be a teenager#whereas jason seems in his 20s so i think it's a gap that's bigger than the comics#which also makes it fun. usually you don't get a ton of age gap with jaytim they're just under 2 yrs apart#but this tim is definitely still a teen and jason is an adult.#and seems to enjoy being a bad influence on tim in the game so#there's such good fodder for some dead dove shit#anyway the funny thing is i like this game#you don't want to know how many hours i've played it#it's just best treated as a seperate iteration of the characters than being an adaptation of anything#esp since they're *so* vague and waffly on jason's backstory#as well as not giving a ton of info on how tim became robin#you assume it's similar to comics but some details leave gaps in the timeline. so idek#probably not somehting meant to be thought about too hard.#but i'm an overthinker at heart.#my point is they're gay. this is gay. it baffles me ppl don't look at this as the gayest shit alive.#tim daring jason to shoot him is the most tim drake thing in this game#well that and tim wanting to make a talon in the belfrey.#also NO one say a word about the gif quality /lh#i had to make it MYSELF#i do everything around here to show off their gay shit#sorta tempted to just make a masterpost of “every gay ass interaction between jaytim”#bc i've seen some clips from the titans show
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cappurrccino · 4 months ago
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i was gonna say "i shouldn't have to go to work when my brain feels like a depression slushie" and then i was like "wait but then i'd basically never ever go to work" and i'm actually doubling down on the first part now bc my god how am i supposed to heal my brain from burning out 5 years ago if i can never get an actual break
#//juri speaks#i also at this moment: do not know if i have health insurance anymore / if i will be able to get insurance#if i can't get insurance i will not be able to take classes this fall#if i can't take classes my loan repayments will kick in immediately#i already don't have enough money for anything and i certainly don't have a spare $150 a month for the government#at any rate i need to submit my tuition waiver Soon but i can't until i know if i can get into the second class#so i have to wait for the prof or my advisor to get back to me#all the while a funeral day draws nearer#and then AT work i still feel like my position doesn't need to exist#but i desperately need it to exist because i need the money#and this big mchuge data migration project we were SUPPOSED to have had done in JUNE is being pushed to the absolute last minute#not by us but by the folks in control of the software we're moving to#so we're not going to have any safety margins with the old software#it's going to be GONE and dead and unlicensed while we're trying to learn the new shit#and i'm going to have to deal with the other branch cataloger trying to do everything for us which Won't Help#and i need!!!!!! a break!!!!!!!!!! from everything!!!!!#i need the world to stop and i need to go sit in the desert for like 6 months#instead best i can do is go buy the new taz gn for a little crumb of escape. maybe a little coffee drink while i'm there#even though i've been hitting sugar hard lately and really do not have the funds to buy more clothes if i gain a few more lbs#and can't afford a walking pad/treadmill and don't want to go outside bc it is a billion degrees all day every day rn#uuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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deathsmallcaps · 4 months ago
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I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.
1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.
Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.
2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.
3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.
4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.
5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.
6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.
7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.
8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.
9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.
A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.
B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.
C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.
10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.
Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.
Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.
Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.
#I am not exaggerating when I say howling#not in a wolf way more like a howler monkey if you have no idea what human toddler cries sound like#I like kids of all ages but there’s a reason why#I’m not going to teach elementary school#I am the person in the *place I work* where if a kid is lost#the staff brings the kid to me until the parents are found#so like. I’m never going to see these kids at their best#I wish I could just hug them but I’m barely allowed to hold their hand if I’m escorting them to get water#this time of year their emotions are heightened by the fact that they’re almost certainly dehydrated#but if they’re a flight risk I do NOT want to risk losing the kid#so I have to wait until#a coworker comes by to get them some water sometimes#the howler girl = this kid#this kid was reunited with her mom without too much time going by thank god#she was a huge fucking flight risk omg#she desperately wanted to go find her mom and I’m like#GIRL you are the lost six year old ITS YOUR MOM’S JOB TO FIND YOU!!! Your job is to stay safe!!!#and color this pretty picture oh god please look back at the coloring page instead of calling upon the hounds of hell#I like to assure every kid that is brought to me that#1. mom’s (or whoever) not going to leave without you (sometimes this is a lie judging from the parents.still very important to tell kids thi#2. they did the right thing asking for an adult’s help#3. as they are literally a kid it’s not their fault they’re lost (again a little debatable with the older kids but still they’re minors)(so#I tell them all this)#4. it’s their job to stay safe while we find your mom#5. now do you want some water?#it’s more obvious in the pale kids but I’ve had so many Black and Brown kids come up to me the last couple days looking positively pink#those kids needed water. so I try to get everyone water#it pisses off my coworkers but idgaf. everyone has a legal right to water in this state esp in the summer#and even if they didn’t#fuck you I’m stealing it. these kids need water
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theonlyhonoredone · 2 days ago
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Satoru BF Headcanons
Pairing: Satoru x Reader
Warnings: none
Summary: my idea of how Satoru is as a partner
Masterlist
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bf!Satoru who is absolutely obsessed with you, you can do no wrong in his eyes and he will blindly side with you on anything and everything. Giving you absolute princess treatment and never letting you lift a finger when you’re with him.
bf!Satoru is super clingy and spends every moment he can with you. He wants your attention on him no matter what and he does not care if that means annoying you or embarrassing himself. Anytime he comes home from a mission he claims he’s been so exhausted that he simply needs you to stay in the house and cuddle with him for hours until he’s rejuvenated. Of course you know he’s lying, you always agree though, and remind him that he doesn’t need to make excuses to get you so snuggle with him.
bf!Satoru already knows this but he likes the dramatics and sees his begging as a way to remind you of how much he loves you and how essential you are to his happiness. Since he often has to leave for missions you don’t get as much time together as either of you would like, so he always wants to make sure you know how much he appreciates you. 
bf!Satoru can be immature and annoying, but he also knows the importance of making his partner feel loved. He’ll spoil you in every way possible, with material goods, big romantic gestures, and sweet things he whispers so only you can hear. He
bf!Satoru brags about you to everyone who will listen, any event you attend features Satoru telling every person there how pretty and wonderful you are. Even in the middle of a fight he never has a bad thing to say about you, he can’t stand the idea of you ever feeling insecure in your relationship. He always makes sure you know you're the center of his universe.
bf!Satoru is eternally doting and loving but he still has his fair share of annoying habits. He’s immature in a lot of ways, not cleaning up after himself or teasing you about sensitive subjects. He certainly knows how to get on your nerves, but he also knows when he’s gone too far. He has no qualms about apologizing and while he is reluctant to give you space (he’d rather solve any issues as soon as they arrive) he will if you ask him. He doesn’t believe in going to bed angry and will always push to solve issues before you go to sleep. 
bf!Satoru is naturally protective, and certainly crosses the line into being overprotective around you. You rarely go on missions together because of this, but you're always there to take care of each other when you get home. Outside of work you don’t mind his overprotectiveness as much, it often shows in strange ways you find quite endearing. He’ll carry you over mud puddles and make sure he’s always on the outside of the sidewalk, often he extends his infinity to you when you’re out to ensure your safety. He let’s the students pick on him all they want, but if they try it with you he’ll assign them detention or challenge them to a fight. 
bf!Satoru gets along with your friends wonderfully. He loves when you invite him to girl’s night and he gets to participate in the gossip. He’s always especially interested in the romantic escapades of your friends, assuring them he has the best dating advice because he managed to get you to date him after all. He gets pouty when other boyfriends are brought along because he feels more special when he’s the only one that gets to come. His protectiveness of you extends to your friends too, he’s examining every drink you all order with his six eyes and he’s always happy to be the sober driver. 
bf!Satoru works hard to make sure you know how loved you are and needs the same assurance from you. He loves any gesture that shows you were thinking of him. Picking him up his favorite sweet or sneaking a note into his suitcase before a trip is enough to make his whole week.
bf!Satoru loves laying in bed, his head on your chest and your hand massaging his scalp. It’s the only time he can truly relax. He loves when you lay there and you pour your heart out to him, tell him how much you love and appreciate him and how he is your world as much as you are his. He loves pda, but treasures your moments alone much more. He loves feeling like it's just the two of you in the universe.
bf!Satoru loves the sound of your voice and finds it more comforting than anything on earth. If he’s having a bad day he’ll ask you to read to him or sing to him while he falls asleep. He doesn’t care if it’s over the phone or in person, or whether or not you think you're a good singer. To him your voice is the sweetest thing in the world. If you notice he’s upset and offer to read to him or sing to him it’ll melt his heart and maybe even make him cry. 
bf!Satoru only lets himself be vulnerable with you. He’ll tell you everything about him, his life and feelings are an open book. He needs that sort of communication from you too. Every random story you tell him is committed to his memory. His favorite dates are ones where you can spend hours talking and filling each other in on every little thing that’s happened in your lives.
bf!Satoru is ready to get married the moment he lays his eyes on you. He knows instantly that you’re the one for him and never questions that for the rest of his life. You are his soul mate and his other half. He believes there’s a gold string tying your souls together and he considers himself incredibly lucky to be tied to you. 
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yaoifortresstwo · 5 months ago
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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orcelito · 13 days ago
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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it here hfkshfks
So when I was tuning the violins today. Well it was the first time I'd done anything with them in a while. And tbh I should've loosened the strings before leaving them for so long, but I hadn't thought of it.
So I tuned up my main violin. It's always been easy to tune & keeps in tune near perfectly when it's played regularly. So it went by quickly, except... when I'm tuning, I like to check the harmonic notes when cross-checking strings, and for whatever reason, the G string's harmonic was like half a note flat. The string itself was in tune tho, which was weird. So I went to adjust the bridge a little bit, just in case that might help, and then the G string fucking SNAPPED!!!
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RIP lmao
Good for me tho I've always kept spares in my case. I had 2 of each string, so I just went and put in the new one. First time stringing a violin in years and years, but it went perfectly fine!!
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Back and better than ever!
Then I went to tune my electric violin, and it took me literally 10 minutes bc the pegs DID NOT want to turn. I had to literally grab a blanket to pad my fingers as I put my whole self into that shit. It hurt !!!!! But I got it eventually lol. My main violin is definitely the best one for playing out of the bunch.
#speculation nation#i played my electric violin more than i ever have today.#didnt actually play my main violin like i first intended. bc it was getting late and i felt. bad.#so i played the electric violin. it worked! but i find myself missing my darling#i should try to practice at least a few more times before next semester. to make sure im prepared for returning to orchestra#(which isnt THAT an exciting prospect. take THAT my reoccurring dreams born from orchestra longing)#i actually picked it back up surprisingly well. outside of the um. stiff wrist and finger pains.#my wrist will loosen back up in time. thats the main reason i want to practice some more b4 next semester.#that plus my finger endurance. i still have pretty great dexterity. like it just felt really natural.#but my fingers got tired quicker than they used to and the SKIN. my CALLOUSES. are NOT THERE.#gonna wait until my fingers r recovered before i try taking my violin out again tho#also my wrist is a lil sore. i was demanding a lot from it today too.#not as flexible as it is when im actively playing but i actually managed to overcome it fine.#did my shifting and whatever. vibrato. whatever. really the worst part of the wrist stiffness is the finger positioning.#instead of being straight down on the strings my fingers had a bit of a turn to them#so the sides of the tips are sore now. owie. but oh well i made it work.#certainly wasnt my best playing but i did the best i could considering the circumstances.#in retrospect picking violin back up after Years and practicing and (re)learning a whole song to audition that SAME DAY is kind of insane.#whyd i do this to myself. oh yeah cause im stupid. oh well at least im following my heart.#i hope i hear back from the orchestra professor before too long. now that ive done the rehearsal im like. oughhh. yknow?#we will hope that friday night was good enough to count as 'by the end of the week'. we will hope.
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trevisos · 17 days ago
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i think the only thing that would make the xarrastarion harper ending au work is acknowledging they’re not Good harpers. they’re actively bad harpers. like i don’t think they would Stop extorting people (explicitly against the harper code) and would not go all that far out of their way to help anyone without expecting compensation (again. against harper code) and are like, not really That concerned with the consequences of their actions usually. but Also they’re both personally invested in like, freedom and ending slavery and tyranny to some extent, and are definitely very good at the sort of manipulation that makes up most of harper work. and like the idea of them as absolutely piss poor harpers Morally but extremely effective when it comes to Getting Things Done is so so so silly. they’re like jaheira’s problem children. they’re wandering up and down the sword coast breaking most of the harper rules and flashing their little harper pins like get out of jail free cards but they’re also absolutely able to dismantle entire slaver operations in a day and a half. they’re just also claiming at least half of the loot for themselves instead of redistributing it
#i think jaheira would love it. honestly. she prefers awful half feral creatures to her own children so she would support their bullshit 100%#it’s just like. the harpers are more or less Good Aligned. and ur simply not gonna catch xarrastarion being Good#xar is solidly chaotic neutral and that’s the Best ur going to get from them. and astarion? god.#that guy may be able to pull off a neutral alignment. but he certainly isn’t going to be Good.#but even with that like. i think xar could be persuaded to Be A Harper by jaheira and i think astarion is whipped enough to go along with it#i think they’re kind of doing the same thing either way wrt to like#taking out the remaining banite enclaves on the coast and in mulmaster#IDK!#I STILL DONT KNOW IF ITS CANON but if it’s not they rly are just vibing for the next 50+ years#which is also sick. but i think having a job would be good for astarion LOL#it would make for a nice way to demonstrate like#the shift from xarrai (and u could argue astarion) working within oppressive systems to try to affect personal change#to working Outside these systems to dismantle them instead#since the harpers are like. their own group w/o hierarchy or organization and those things were once Very Important to both of these guys#they’re no longer bound to the system or by a sense of hierarchy or power they’re only bound by What They Want To Do#漫言#oc. xarrai#r. hold me like a knife#i found this post in my drafts and it’s still real as fuck honestly
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