#not me posting a fic again literally 4 days after my last one i am serious when i say i was possessed to write this

[changbunnies]

All About You (18+)

♡ Pairing: Royal Knight/Bodyguard!Minho x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: age gap, royal au, historical au, arranged marriage au (reader only), angst, kind of forbidden love? (maybe more than kind of), basically porn with plot

♡ Word Count: 7.5k

♡ Summary: You, the princess who ran away from the castle after finding out your father, the king, has finalized your arranged marriage. Minho, your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, tasked with bringing you back home at all costs. When found, you hit Minho with a very interesting proposition- for him to be the one you share all your "firsts" with, instead of your inevitable husband.

♡ Warnings: age gap !! reader is ~23 while minho is in his 40s, please don't read if this makes you uncomfortable!, uneven power dynamics, outdated traditions and views on women to suit the setting, brief reference to death by guillotine and death in general, mentions of injury and swordfighting

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): lowkey corruption kink, loss of virginity (reader), pet names (princess (mostly as a title), good girl), slight sub + dom dynamics, soft dom minho, a lot of kissing (should be expected from me atp), nipple play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), slight overstim, unprotected piv, multiple orgasms, creampie

♡ Notes: at this point i am determined to write a royal au fic for every member, and my newest offering to you is minho <3 i was literally possessed writing this like once the idea hit my brain i had to get it out asap

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked.

In recent years, he had one job, and one job only, and that was to take care of the princess. Make sure she’s safe, escort her to where she needs to be and watch over her at all times– that’s all. Not always an easy job, but one of vital importance that Minho took with utmost seriousness. In the 3 years it’s been since becoming your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, he never messed up this critically. 

You always had a rebellious streak and challenged authority, everyone in the castle knew that. And part of Minho’s job, apart from keeping you safe, was keeping you in check– and the king made it extremely clear that failing to do so was not an option.

He lost track of the amount of times he uttered the words “Princess, please think rationally,” or “please consider your responsibility to the kingdom, don’t do this,” in a near desperate attempt to get you to listen to reason. 

And today, he fucked up the worst he ever had. He knew you were upset tonight, but he was under the impression he successfully calmed you down, and that you wouldn’t do anything rash. He turned his back to you, thinking the storm had been quelled, and that you’d listen to your father, even if doing so felt like pulling teeth. He underestimated however, just how deep your sadness and anger truly ran, and the very moment you saw an opening, you took it. 

You fled from the castle with blind determination, nowhere to go and with little of value in your hands, fueled purely by the desire to escape your unfair circumstances, and live your own life by your own means. You may not believe it, but Minho understood, and felt for you– he really did. But that didn’t change what his duty was, and even if it made you hate him, he had to do his job to the best of his ability. 

So now here he was, roaming the streets looking for you, the hours passing in a blur. You must’ve done a good job of concealing your identity, because no one he asked had seen a young woman matching the princess' description. And as the minutes ticked by, and sunset turned to midnight, he was at a complete loss of what to do.

He made record time combing the entire bustling town, stopping into places full to the brim with people in the hopes he’d catch a glimpse of you in the crowd, and yet there seemed to be no trace of you anywhere. It was easy for someone to hide their presence in a crowd, or in the rowdy environment of a tavern, and you were more than intelligent enough to blend into a crowd and divert attention away from yourself.

It was entirely possible that Minho had seen you at some point, and simply didn’t realize it, though he liked to believe he’d recognize you anywhere, no matter what you wore. Minho scowled, clenching his teeth as he scanned the dark horizon of the treeline; should he check the outer walls of the town for a clue, or double back and check the streets again?

He doubts you made it out of the town easily, considering you likely had no money on your person and little experience with the realities of the world. You were intelligent, yes, but sheltered; he could easily imagine you quickly getting in over your head, thinking you could make it to the next town without issue, only to end up lost and in need of help, with no one for miles to hear your desperate cries. 

Fuck. If he couldn’t find you, his head would most certainly be meeting the cold steel of a guillotine. He had no family who would mourn his loss, but still, he wasn’t ready to face his mortality. And the king, despite being someone he could call a close friend, would spare no mercy if he failed to keep his one and only daughter safe.

But really, there was more to it than just the threat of death that kept him searching for you. Believe it or not, he genuinely wanted you safe and well, and he'd do anything to ensure you made it back home, even if it made you curse him for the rest of his days. 

As if God himself heard his prayers and decided to grant him a miracle, Minho sees you– there, on the outskirts of town, holding your cold hands up to your face and letting your breath warm them. It’s dark, the street barely even illuminated enough to discern your recognizable features, but he knows without a doubt that it's you standing there in the cold street, because truly, he knows you anywhere. 

By the time you realize you’ve been spotted and recognized, it’s already much too late to flee. Minho approached you with utmost haste, reaching out and grabbing your arm, lest you make the foolish decision to try to escape again. His hold, while not rough enough to hurt you, is firm, and it only takes one attempt at pulling your arm from his hold to know this is it; your escape attempt has failed, and you’ll be dragged back to the castle and reprimanded for your “temper tantrum.” 

Your father never listens to you, no matter how hard you try to make him understand and see your point of view. Maybe if you were born a boy, your opinions would be important to him, and he’d see you are more than an object to pawn off to whatever man gave him the most political power.

“Princess–” “I’m not going home,” you interject before he even has a chance, though you already know it’s in vain. There is no avoiding returning to your glorified prison now that Sir Minho has you in his grasp. 

He sighs, but his face changes to one of sympathy, his grip on your arm loosening ever so slightly. “Can we at least go to an inn room? It’s not safe for a young lady to be on the streets at night,” he reasons with you, as gently as he can manage.

Normally Minho is quite stern with you, but you get the impression that he feels being stern isn’t the right approach tonight. You’re known for expressing yourself very vocally, even when doing so is extremely ill-advised, and he is well aware of how opinionated and fiery you are. 

But treating this display as anything other than a genuine act of desperation, a culmination of years of perceived disrespect and conformity, would be another critical error– one he can’t afford to make. So he will be firm, yes, but gentle in his approach.

You frown as you look at him; you’re stubborn by nature, and part of you wants to fight against him until the bitter end, but he’s not wrong about the streets being unsafe for you at night. You know he won’t let you escape again come morning, but that’ll have to be a problem for later; for right now, you really should heed his advice and go to an inn for the night. 

“Fine,” you concede, much to Minho’s relief. He could’ve forced you to go with him if he really needed to, but he’d rather avoid doing something so unpleasant. He leads you to a nearby tavern, which is still bustling with activity even at the late hour.

He keeps you close as he pushes through the crowd of rowdy drunks to the dual innkeep-bartender, hoping that there is still a room available. The man departs, coming back with a key dangling in hand, “You’re in luck. Last room’s all yours.” 

Minho thanks the man and pulls out his satchel to pay him, leaving a few extra coins as a tip before stashing it back in his pocket, along with the key he was given, and the two of you go up the stairs together.

“There’s only one bed,” you comment as you step inside the room, though Minho doesn’t seem to care much about that fact. “That’s fine, don’t plan on sleeping anyways,” he says as he removes his leather scabbard from his back, resting it against the back of the chair in the corner of the room. 

You frown as you sit on the bed and watch him; he must’ve been in a hurry when he received word you fled from the castle, as he wasn’t wearing any of his armor, strictly in casual wear you’d very rarely seen him in. Probably for the best, you think, because if anyone saw a royal knight desperately searching the streets, multiple alarms would be raised.

He lights the fireplace, hoping to quickly spread some heat throughout the cold room, before he sits in the chair, crossing his arms and watching you carefully. Deserved, you suppose. How is he supposed to trust you’re not going to flee at the first available moment just as before?

You certainly don’t make his job easy for him; he can’t take his eyes off you for a second. The silence between you lingers for some time, the crackling of the fire the only sound either of you hear, apart from the muffled patrons enjoying their drinks downstairs. Minho, despite his relaxed posture, looks like he’d be ready to jump up at a moment's notice should he need to. 

You sigh; should you just try to sleep? It’d feel awkward and uncomfortable to try to fall asleep with someone's eyes boring holes into you, but you really didn’t give him much of a choice. “Do you want to tell me why you ran away from the castle?” Minho asks suddenly, breaking the tempered silence between you. “You already know the answer to that,” you respond, crossing your own arms now. 

“Is marrying Sir Jin really so bad?” he asks, and you scoff, rolling your eyes. “Yes, obviously. I don’t want to. Not that you or my father care about me or anything I think.”

Minho’s brow furrows, the frown on his face growing. “Princess, you know that’s not true. I do care about you.”

“Do you? I haven’t been able to tell in the slightest,” you counter a bit harshly, “and you could help me if you wanted to, you know. I’d be fine out there if I was with you.”

Okay, maybe you’re not being fair to Minho right now. You do know he cares, but realistically, what is he supposed to do? If he disobeyed your fathers orders, he’d be lucky if his only punishment was a swift death.

He was assigned to you because your father trusts him to do the right thing and follow orders dutifully, a trust that is usually not misplaced. But he has to admit, the more and more time he spends with you, the more he feels for you. 

Minho never knew your father, the king, to be an unreasonable or cruel man, but in your eyes, he might as well be the devil himself. And maybe he is cruel– because how do you strip someone of their freedom and choices for your own gain, and not see the harm it causes, the wrong in it?

You are more than a pawn, more than a subject, more than his daughter– you are a person. A person with thoughts, feelings, and opinions as real as any mans, who did not deserve to be treated lesser than for the simple crime of being born a girl. 

But what is Minho if not an upholder of the status quo? He was just a single man, and even if he recognized how unfairly you were treated in comparison to the golden child that was your elder brother, what was he supposed to do? He always performed his tasks dutifully and without question, and it wasn’t until he met you that he began to struggle with what he should do, and what he wants to do.

And maybe he could get you out of this town, help you live a quiet, modest life somewhere new, away from the watchful eye of your father. Where he could be your protector, same as now, but without the guilt, burden, or threats.

You know you shouldn’t take your frustrations about your life out on Minho, but he’s really all you have. You trust him with your life, and he’s shown you multiple times that he cares about you beyond the duty he has to you, or to your father. He's your only confidant, the only person in the world you can rely on. 

Your eyes linger on the scar across his nose– he got it protecting you, the other man’s sword barely missing his eyes and cutting just across his face, and it was only one of many scars he obtained in his service to you. He’d pick you up and run with you in his arms when you were injured, he’d fight off attackers without breaking a sweat, sustain injury after injury all to make sure you were safe.

You’d watch his back, always stunned and mesmerized at the ease at which he cut down your enemies, as if they were nothing but paper. When he’d turn back to you, breathing heavy and sweat only just starting to trickle on his brow, his eyes would turn from the harshest winter chill to the gentle warmth of a spring morning.

He was quiet, stern, but his care ran far deeper than one would think just by looking at him, and all you had to do to see the true depth of his feelings was look in his eyes. So you knew it was unfair to accuse him of not caring about you, to expect him to go above and beyond for you, to ask that he go against your father to give you what you want. But you were just so sad, frustrated, angry, that you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Maybe you’ll grow to love him if you give him a chance,” Minho suggests; you both know that’s never going to happen, but what else can he say? He never married, and had no children, dedicated to his duty as he was; he had no real advice to offer someone when it came to love, romance, and the like, but he imagined it wasn’t impossible to fall in love if you just met Sir Jin with an open mind.

But as stated, that’s never going to happen. You’re stubborn to a fault, and once you’ve decided something, there’s no changing it. The best Minho can ever manage to do is get you to reconsider, but even then, you’re still likely to go about things the way you originally wanted to, with no regard for consequences or keeping up appearances. You’re a fiery woman, there was no doubt about it, and you don’t let go of things easily. 

“The mere thought of giving that man all my firsts makes me sick, it’s vile,” you scrunch up your nose, making your distaste for the man very clear. Minho doesn’t even think you’ve actually met the man yet, but you’ve already decided you hate him– you don’t want to marry him, and so you’ll be firmly stuck in your opinion, no matter what anyone says. 

“Maybe this isn’t advice I should be giving you, but.. You don’t necessarily have to. To give him your firsts, or love him. Find someone you do love, even if you have to keep it a secret, and hold him with all you’ve got. It still wouldn’t be ideal, of course, but.. Well, it’d be something, at least.” Really, Minho is supposed to encourage you to be an obedient daughter and listen to your father without question, but he knows you well enough to know that’s a fool's errand. 

You’re never going to listen, never going to be obedient, never going to stop being opinionated. So what’s the next, most realistic piece of advice he can give? Lie, of course. Make your father and inevitable husband believe you’re a good, obedient wife and daughter, and then go live the life you really want behind their backs.

It's dishonest as all hell, and there would be consequences if you got caught, but if you’re going to be miserable no matter what you do, you might as well try, right? It’s what Minho thinks he would do if he were you, anyways. 

“What about you?” you ask and Minho raises a brow in question. “What about me?” he asks, and what you respond with makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his lungs. “What if I gave my firsts to you?”

Did he hear you right? There must be some mistake with his ears, there’s absolutely no way you said what he thinks you did. “You– what?” Surely you can’t be serious about this. You’re the princess, and he’s just the man who happens to be your guard; a man who is your fathers age at that. But the way you look at him, he can tell you’re not joking in the slightest.

“Princess, I couldn’t possibly accept that,” Minho says sternly, his arms no longer crossed but instead resting on the arms of the chair, hands beginning to grip tightly so he can ground himself and try to make sense of this insane situation.

“Why not? I’d be happier if I gave it to someone like you. I trust you,” you say so nonchalantly it makes his head reel. What the fuck is happening right now? 

And truly, Minho was the ideal man; at least in your opinion. He was handsome, mature, realistic and practical, knew how to reel you in without disregarding the root of what you feel or being disrespectful to you.

He never dismissed how you felt, made you feel over emotional or like a fool who overreacts; he’d ask you to see reason, sure, urge you to think more before acting, but he never, never made you feel like your feelings were invalid. And he genuinely cared about you, and you liked him, were attracted to him, so if the opportunity presented itself then.. Why not take the chance? 

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked.

You were just freshly 20 when Minho first met you and became your guard, and hard as he tried to never see you beyond the platonic, he’s always viewed you as an attractive young woman. He liked your fiery spirit, liked how you had the bravery and gall to challenge authority, a skill that in recent months he felt he was sorely lacking. Your attitude was refreshing, and despite your circumstances, you never acted like a damsel in need of his help. 

In a different life, in another world, maybe you two could have met as equals, not painfully stuck to the rules of an unfair, unforgiving reality. You’d be each other's foil; you, the impassioned dreamer with as many thoughts and ideas as there were stars in the sky, and he the realist, who didn’t dim your light but tempered it into a steady, sustainable flame.

You’d take him out on adventures, out of the strict box of his comfort zone, and he’d ground you more firmly to reality, never discouraging your dreams but making sure you took the necessary steps in the right way, responsibly. You'd match one another perfectly, complementary and meant for each other. 

But that’s not your reality, and you both know it. There would never be any coming back from this if you go through with it, and there’s no ideal, happy future for you two to share. “I’m not so disillusioned to think this would be anything other than sex for you,” you continue, and he swallows, mind still racing impossibly, “but it’d be much more meaningful for me with you than some bastard I don’t like in the slightest.” 

You’re wrong. So wrong, and you don’t even know it. It would never be “just sex” with you. You mean much, much more to him than you even realize. “You won’t regret asking a man like me? There’d be no taking it back once it’s done,” Minho can’t help but ask, rationality and reason desperately trying to gain control. 

Despite what your father may believe, you’re a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. And this is a decision you make with full knowledge of what it means for you, more than willing to accept whatever consequences may arise for committing such a sin.

In an ideal world, you’d be allowed to love who you wish, live where you wish, do what you wish. But this isn’t an ideal world, and if there is only one thing you can ever be granted in this life that feels as if it isn’t even your own, it would be this– to have one night, just one night, where you can be the person you want to be, with Minho by your side.

“You’re free to reject me if you’re not attracted to me, but.. My only regret would have been not trying. So I ask, are you not attracted to me?” He looks you over carefully following your question, grip on the armrests tightening.

Admitting that he’s attracted to you may as well be a death sentence. But he can’t lie to you, completely at your mercy. Fuck the king, it’s you he’s really loyal to. All he’s ever done, all he ever will do, it’s always for you. He’s always tried to act in your best interest, to do the right thing, to keep you safe and protected. But does keeping you safe even matter if you’re miserable? 

“I am,” Minho swallows, answering honestly despite his better judgment, “You have no idea how attracted to you I am.”

“So why hesitate?” you ask, fingers trail down your lap, over your knees, to where the very bottom of your dress lies. He watches you, eyes darting from your hands back to your face. You’re watching him too, carefully, considering his every reaction before you make your next move, impressively calculated. 

You take the hem of your dress in your hands, pulling it up leisurely, getting it halfway up your thighs before Minho rises from his chair. He's is in front of you in an instant, his hands grabbing your wrists and stopping you from lifting it any further.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Princess,” he breathes, voice low and strained; he can’t lose control of his desires, but fuck, you’re making it so hard. You look up at him, meeting his gaze with the same fiery determination you always have, but there’s more there than just that this time. Desire, want, need– all for him.

Fuck it. He’s going to get burned, but maybe it’s worth it. You’ll be his funeral pyre, engulfing him in your flame until all that remains are the ashes of the man he was supposed to be. And what a beautiful way to end his life it will be, lost between your thighs, feeling your nails dig and claw at his skin.

He lets go of your wrists, one of his hands coming to cup your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip. “Has anyone ever kissed you, Princess?” he asks and you give a slight shake of the head, breathing a soft “No..”

He hums, and there’s a twisted sort of pleasure he derives from knowing he’ll be your first in every conceivable way. You’re not “innocent,” he knows you’re not, but there’s something about being your first kiss, your first cock, your first everything that makes him crazy. 

“And you want me to be the first one to kiss you?” he follows up with another question, corners of his mouth threatening to twist into a smile when you nod, a soft, honest “yes” leaving your lips effortlessly. He leans down towards you, keeping your head tilted up so he can easily meet your lips.

He does so softly, treating you with care. His lips are softer than you expected, and the feeling of them against your own fills you with butterflies. He carefully tilts you back, and you let your body fall back onto the mattress, head hitting the surprisingly soft pillows.

Minho crawls over you, spreading your legs apart just enough to get between them, your dress now hiked all the way up your thighs. He’s hovering over you, looking down at you with so much love and lust and that it leaves you speechless. “I’ll need you to listen to me tonight. Can you do that for me?” he asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw, under your ear, your neck. 

You can, because it’s Minho. He’d never hurt you, never try to control you, never make you feel lesser than. So you can listen to him, because you trust him with your care; he’ll take good care of you, you know he will. He smiles when you nod, and you see him smile so rarely that it makes your heart skip a beat; his role always requires him to be so stern and straight faced, that seeing him smile down at you like this is enough to melt you into a puddle. 

“You’re a good girl when you want to be, hmm?” he hums against your neck, resuming his trail of kisses against your skin, and you can’t explain why, but the words and tone he says them in makes your stomach flip.

If you were in a different world, and didn’t have to return home to the castle tomorrow, he’d take his time marking your neck, filling it with pretty shades of blue, purple, and red, sinking his teeth into your soft, supple skin. He just knows you’d look so pretty like that, and the way you react when his breath tickles your skin and his lips linger, tells him you’d like it too.

His fingers trail down your body, finding the hem of your dress and pulling it up over your chest. You lift your back off the bed when he separates from your neck, pulling your dress off the rest of the way and discarding it to the floor. He kisses you as he fiddles with the straps of your bra, effortlessly unhooking it in the back and pulling it down your arms and off your body. 

He may have never married, but he’s no stranger to being with and pleasuring women. And he’ll make sure he makes this a night you’ll always remember for all the right reasons. Capturing your lips in another kiss, his hands take in your now bare breasts, gently kneading and squeezing.

You try to squeeze your legs together, but his place between your thighs stops the act from happening, and he chuckles against your lips when he realizes what you’re doing. “Be patient, Princess, I’ll take good care of you,” he whispers before kissing you again, and you let out a small whine, not knowing exactly what you want but knowing you want something.

You gasp when he takes your nipples between your fingers and pinches them, not too hard of course, but enough to give him the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your body shudders, you feel dizzy with pleasure and excitement, and the feeling of his tongue circling yours is impossibly intoxicating. 

One of his hands travels down, over your stomach, coming between your bodies to feel your heat over your panties. He’s barely even begun and you’re already soaking the fabric, your eager anticipation for more of his touch palpable beyond all else. He nips at your bottom lip, gently tugging it between his teeth before soothing the sting with kitten licks, his hand slipping inside your panties to feel how slick you’ve gotten directly. 

Your body jolts when his fingers run between your folds, and he barely has to move them at all to get his fingers completely coated in your arousal. He pulls back to look at you, taking in the sight of your flushed face and swollen lips, pretty and perfect.

You’re panting, breathless, overwhelmed in the best way possible. You keen when his fingers rub over your clit in circles, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you lift your head from the pillows to watch. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, suppressing a grin when you whine and quickly nod your head.

“Want more, want you,” you mutter, the most timid you’ve ever been in regards to a man. He coos, giving you a sweet kiss as he continues his stimulation to your sensitive spot. “Remember what I said? Patience, Princess, you’ll get what you want. We can’t rush and have you getting hurt, can we?” 

You pout as you concede, and God, he finds that so cute; he’s never seen you actually act shy and pouty before, and it makes him want to give you the entire world. He’ll give you everything you want, anything you ask for, but he’ll have to remember to tease you first so he can see that cute expression on your face before he gives in to your whims.

“I’ll make sure you’re nice and ready for my cock, so just be a good girl and follow my lead until then. You can do that for me easily, can’t you?”Another shy nod, another adorable flushed look that makes his cock throb in his trousers.

It was a little intimidating for you, knowing how experienced Minho must be due to his age, and feeling like you must fall short in comparison to other women– women who knew what they were doing. But really, that was just your own insecurity talking. He didn’t mind at all that you were inexperienced; in fact, it excited him for reasons he didn’t entirely understand. 

Maybe it was the knowledge that he was the first to touch your skin, or maybe that someone as determined and fiery as you are is allowing yourself to concede control, to let him be in charge of your pleasure, trusting him to bring you to utmost bliss. What bigger display of trust could you ever show him? Your glassy, pleading eyes, begging him for more but still waiting for it just as he asked– you’re too good for him. He’s going to ruin you. 

He takes his fingers away, and you have to physically stop yourself from whining at the lack of contact, lest he remind you again about “being patient.” “Open your mouth for me,” Minho requests, and though you are a bit confused, you do as he asks immediately, obeying without question.

Fuck, that’s hot; the image of you, mouth open, tongue slightly sticking out and waiting to receive whatever he gives you is something he never wants to forget. Minho slides two of his fingers into your mouth, instructing you to lick, to get his fingers nice and wet.

Truthfully, you were more than lubricated enough to take his fingers without this step, but he couldn’t resist the urge to see you this way. He pushes his fingers in your mouth down to the knuckle, and you persist with coating them in your saliva even as you gag and tears prick the corners of your eyes. 

He showers you with praise, slipping his fingers out of your mouth when he feels satisfied with the work you’ve done on them, kissing your cheeks, feeling the heat of your face on his lips. Slipping his hand back inside your panties, he presses the tips of his wet fingers to your hole, and you instinctively suck in a breath, body unconsciously tensing from the anticipation.

“You have to relax, Princess, it won’t feel good if you’re tense,” he explains sweetly, shaking his head when you mutter a soft apology. “Don’t be sorry, not for that. Just focus on me, hmm? On this,” he whispers, his lips lingering on yours in a deep, impassioned kiss.

His fingers stay completely still until he feels your body start to release its tension, heeding his advice to focus more on his kisses than the motion of his fingers. He keeps kissing you even as the first of his fingers finally starts to push inside you, and you moan into his mouth, hot pleasure licking your skin. 

He moves his finger in and out slowly, making sure you’re well adjusted before he pushes in another one, hooking his fingers to find that delicious sweet spot he knows will have you crying his name in no time. You gasp loudly when he finds it, your hands twisting the sheets beneath you between your fingers, your entire body trembling.

It feels so good you almost can’t breathe, and when he picks up his pace, hitting your spot over and over as he brings his thumb to your clit, you know you won’t last long at all. “M-Minho, I’m– 'm gonna–” you try to warn him, but the words die in your throat, the pleasure too overwhelming to continue to try and form a sentence.

He simply hums, continuing his motions until your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, sharp, shuddery gasps and moans tumbling from your lips as your orgasm takes you. “That’s it, just let go, just like that, I’ve got you,” he praises, pressing kisses to your hot skin, helping you ride out your high.

Before you can even fully recollect your breath and get your racing heart back under control, he’s pushing a third finger inside, the trembling in your body intensifying from the addition. “You need more to get ready for me,” he tells you, and in your fucked out state all you can do is nod, taking his word as gospel truth, “need to stretch you good to make sure my cock fits.”

All you can do is lay there and take the onslaught of pleasure, unable to think of about anything other than how full and good his fingers make you feel. You don’t even register that he’s moved your down your body and tugged your panties to the side until his tongue is meeting your clit, swirling around it in expertly practiced circles, making you desperately cry out his name.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging harshly as your hips buck up to keep feeling the delicious sensation his tongue provides you. He flattens his tongue and lets you grind against it as you want, the motions of his fingers not stuttering or ceasing despite the movement of your hips. 

You feel the familiar heat pooling your stomach, another orgasm approaching quickly, the sounds you release turning into desperate whines and whimpers as you chase the feeling. It only takes a few more rolls of your hips and thrusts of his fingers to have you releasing all over his face and gushing around his fingers.

He sits up and pulls his fingers out when your body falls limp, chest heaving and ears ringing as you try to recover from the mind-blowing experience you just had. Your eyes are closed, and you can feel his weight shift, can hear the soft clink of his belt unbuckling, followed by the rustling of clothes.

You open your eyes to see Minho’s cock is now out, his hand lazily pumping it and spreading the pre-cum that accumulated and dripped over his time focusing on you. You reach a hand out to touch it, to replace his hand with your own, but he grabs your hand before you can, instead making you intertwine your fingers. 

“Tonight’s all about you, Princess. Don’t worry about taking care of me,” he says, kissing the back of your hand and then holding it down right above your head. You’re not quite pinned, easily able to snake your hand out of his hold if you wanted to, but you have to admit, you like the feeling of his hand keeping yours held down.

He rubs his cock between your folds before he lines himself up with your entrance, though you didn’t miss the subtle smirk on his face when you whined from the feeling of his tip rubbing against your clit. “Squeeze my hand if you need to,” Minho tells you before taking your free hand and bringing it up to his shoulder, “and hold onto me.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest; the hidden romantic in you yearns to tell him you love him, to thank him for taking such good care of you, to express how you never want this night to end, but you know that would be a mistake. Neither of you can afford to let your emotions spill out, so you swallow them down the best you can, deciding to just live in this moment, to experience it for all that it is and all that it means for you.

The initial push is slow, and thanks to his diligent preparation, there is little physical pain or discomfort you experience from the stretch of his cock. A slight sting, sure, but nothing you can’t easily handle, and it’s barely even recognizable when compared to the pleasant fullness you feel. So when you squeeze his hand, and your eyes well with tears, it’s not because you are pained; it’s because you finally have something you want, a happiness you thought would forever elude you.

He takes his free hand and wipes away the tears from your eyes, a soft look of concern on his face. “Hurts?” he asks, but you shake your head quickly.

“Feels good, I just– I..” you struggle with the words, knowing you can’t express how you actually feel about him even if you felt you could. “I know. You don’t have to say it, I know,” Minho speaks to you softly, and the kiss he gives you very nearly makes you sob.

There’s still a few inches left before he’s fully inside you, and he pushes the remainder in slowly as he continues to kiss you, his free hand now rubbing soothing circles on your hip with his thumb. Minho does well at maintaining composure, staying firmly in control of himself and his body despite the way your walls squeeze and suck him in, despite the way you whimper when you feel him throb, or cry out against his lips when his tip kisses your deepest spots.

“That’s a good girl, taking all I give you, doing so well,” he praises you some more, and you love when he tells you how good you’re doing if the way you clench around him is any indicator. “Fuck, Princess–” he groans when he finally starts to move, pulling out and pressing back in much more slowly than he normally would, but the wet friction you provide him is delicious.

“Minho, I–” you start, interrupted by a sharp gasp when he finds your sweet spot with his cock.He looks at you as he stills his hips, patiently waiting for you to continue in case what you have to say is important, or a request for him to stop.

You swallow, face heating up but determined to get out what you want to say. “J-Just this once, I don’t want to be the princess. Call me by name, please–” Oh, that’s what you want? He can do that, easily; he’s already groaned your name countless times in the privacy of his room, stroking his cock to the thought of you.

The sound of your name falling from his lips as he resumes the thrust of his hips has you clenching hard, stars erupting in your vision as he picks up his pace, beginning to quickly and mercilessly hit your spot, over and over again. He takes one of your legs and props it up over his shoulder, allowing more of his cock to fill you up, the creaking of the bed and the sound of skin slapping beginning to overpower the noise from downstairs.

Taking his other hand away from yours, you’ll have to forgive him, he licks his fingers and then brings them to your clit, wanting nothing more than to see and feel you release on his cock. It only takes a few more thrusts and circles from his fingers to have you crying out his name as you cum, fingers digging into the sheets beneath you as your body shakes and legs tremble.

But Minho hasn’t cum yet, so he’s not quite done with you– not that you mind in the slightest. You’ll let him chase his pleasure as long as he wishes, even if it leaves you a drooling, fucked out mess in the end.

He pulls out of you, just long enough to sit against the headboard, and then he’s pulling you on top of him, guiding you to sink back down on his cock and sit fully in his lap. The new position has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, Minho guiding the movement of your hips with his hands as he thrusts up into you.

He’s quite literally doing all the work, but that’s perfectly fine; this night is supposed to be about you, after all, and he doesn’t want you to lift a pretty little finger. Just let him use you a little until he cums, that’s all he needs.

You’re panting against his neck, head laid on his shoulder and nails digging into the skin of his back beneath his shoulder blades. The sting of your nails in his skin is just how he imagined it to be, and his head is falling back against the headboard, low grunts and groans of your name leaving freely as his cock throbs and twitches, getting closer and closer to his release.

He uses one of his hands to grab your face and lift it up to his, crashing his lips to yours in a desperate, impassioned display of love and lust. A few more snaps of his hips and you feel his cum spurting inside you in long, thick ropes, the sensation sending you forward into yet another orgasm of your own, your desperate sounds muffled only by Minho’s mouth on yours.

Your body collapses against his when the moment slows to a stop, both of your chests heaving and breaths heavy as you lie against him. His arms wrap around you snuggly, and keep you upright against his chest. You can hear the quick, erratic beating of his heart as he catches his breath, looking up at him to see his eyes closed and sweat trailing down his brow towards his cheek.

He looks beautiful like this, you think; you hope he thought the same of you. Even as his cock starts to soften, neither of you move, and though your legs protest and beg to be stretched out, you refuse to leave your spot on Minho’s lap.

“Are you alright, Princess?” he asks once he’s collected himself, pushing your hair from your face and wiping the sweat from your brow.

“Mhm, just want to stay like this,” you reply, and Minho smiles softly, rubbing over your shoulders and down your back in a sweet gesture of comfort. You’re silent like this for some time, just simply enjoying the feeling of him, the sound of the crackling fire, the warmth he and this room provides you.

“Does my happiness really have to end here?” you can’t help but quietly ask, and Minho is quiet for a moment, carefully considering before he speaks.

In a different world, in a different time, in a different place, maybe the two of you are meant to be. There’s comfort in imagining yourself there, truly happy with Minho, letting him care for you while not snuffing out the flame that is your pride, ambition, and spirit.

It’s not meant to be, you both know that to be true. To be with each other required great risk, sacrifice, hardship. But again he has to wonder, is being safe worth the cost of happiness? Would you even truly be “alive” if your every moment was spent miserably?

He doesn’t want to see the very core of what makes you you be snuffed out by selfish, idiotic men and their expectations of what you should be. You’re much younger than him, and it would be impossible for him to be there for you for the rest of your life, but he can be for the rest of his, at least.

“Maybe not,” he answers, unsure of what the future holds for the two of you, but not entirely ready to give up so easily. He could accept his fate, accept that love is something out of his reach, but it’s your happiness on the line that makes him want to fight for it. 

There’s a lot he could lose by helping you escape this life you feel trapped in, but he’d rather see you happy than wasting your days away in the castle, subservient to a man you loathe. Your love isn’t meant to be, but that’s okay; he’ll help you all the same.

He’s loyal to you, and only you, he’s decided– so if you make your future husband, your father, or even the entire kingdom your enemy, then they’ll be his enemy too. And it’ll all be worth it just to see you smile for a little bit longer.

[lovscb97]

bang chan recs (18+)

key: !!! = personal favourite, s = smut, f = fluff, a = angst

add. notes: hai :3 i know i said i would make a skz recs list but the minute i scrolled thru my likes n started saving from chan onwards, i realised i had Too many recommended fics for him (this list is like 40 fics/drabbles long....) so i decided to just make member separate posts instead!!! i tried not to have repeats of authors to give u guys a broader scope to choose from n also sorry in advance that i yapped so much abt them it's just like . these r my all time fav authors so it's expected. anyways i hope u guys love these works as much as i do bcs they r from some of my absolute fav creators n plz give them lots of love n always make sure to appreciate these ppl <3

. . .

hopelessly devoted to you — @changbunnies (!!!, s, a?)

this was literally a 11/10 fic like i am not even joking rn. i luv greaser chan n even tho he messed up, the way he makes it up to mc is so so soooo sweet. the fact that he's so gone n pussydrunk while eating her out, the sweetness in how he holds her n fucks her is all too mindnumbing n i hope u continue writing bcs u r amazing at it!! i will always come back 2 this when i need a pick me up fr

2. bad idea — @hyunsvngs (!!!, s)

JUNOOOOO my lovely baby.... i adore u n all ur work always but this fic. This Fic. it changed the trajectory of my life. like not even kidding but i was a different person when i started reading this n when i finished it i was Changed. life is worth living now, the grass is greener n the birds always sing 2 me which i firmly believe is bcs of u n this beautiful yummy fic. i fucking LOVE stepdad chan sm like there's smth so gross n nasty abt fucking ur mom's bf n even tho mc is a menace, i still loved it. never stop doing what u do!!!

3. 1095 days — @luvyeni (s)

EX INMATE CHAN RAHHHHH!! i have akshewally been following ur work for so long n i LOVE!! the way u write :3 thank u for always churning out ur work so fast n being so good at what u do. im obv a sucker for daddy kink considering i eat it up every time n it's so fucking good i love how chan cares for mc n the way he gives it to her once he's back. mark my words i will EAT this man up n this fic whenever i stumble across it

4. milk and honey — @straykeedz (s, f, a?)

user straykeedz u have to stop... ur work too addicting n perfect.. ur depiction of chan too real n crazy (/pos)... they're gonna get u... but seriously i love bffs2lovers so bad n the way u always characterise chan n make him call mc so many cute pet names melts my heart :( i've also been following U for a long time n even tho everything u write is so so soooo good, this has to be one of my faves alongside ur inexperienced chan fic. i hope u don't pressure urself too much to update n jus do what u have to do :D

5. my wife — @chrizzztopherbang (s, f)

ngl i Think this is my first fic from u cus i followed u bcs of it n that's a given honestly cus newly turned husband chan?? eating his wife out metres away from his friends n family on the other side of the door n fucking her within an inch of her life right after they're pronounced husband n wife?? i love it i loved their bickering over who's a pervert n i just love the idea of mc finally calling the love of her life hers forever. i hope they r always happy alongside u

6. sweet nothing — @frenchkisstheabyss (!!!, s, f, a)

this fic actually changed me as a person too not even kidding. i EAT UP exes to lovers n the portrayal of it was so good here bcs there's so much unspoken tension between the two n then chan begging mc to not leave again n her promising she won't bcs all she wants to do is be his at last?? AWOOGAAAAA i need him so bad it's jinja michin (i am so cringe sorry..) ANYWAYS!! i hope u know tattoo artist + ex bangchan is a crazy combo n that the makeup sex was HOT HOT HOT!!! plz keep writing i adore u <3

7. pick you up — @moonchild9350 (!!!, s)

see idk if this is tmi but sex where ure being picked up n fucked is downright nasty in the best possible way n i fear i need to get railed like that by chan so u writing abt is literally u making my fantasies come true. this fic was a delicious mix of cute w chan telling mc he only works out so he can pick her up (based off of his bbl texts obv) n hot w him Actually fucking her within an inch of her life. i love all ur work tee bee eich so keep doing what ur doing!!!

8. spring has sprung — @cbini (!!!, f, s)

miss ems where do i even begin with u.. (u probably Do Not Know me but i know u smirk emoji. soz that was weird erm but ya i am the binnie anon who said u deserve changbin LOLZ) this fic was the perfect mix of cuteness w raw passionate fucking i love the idea of chan getting hard bcs ur dressed so preciously in a pretty dress i think it's rooted somewhere in his slight corruption kink which comes out def when u r all dolled up for him. anyways u never miss n i hope u know that <3

9. walking in on rooomate!chan / pt. 2 — @kacciidubs (!!!, s, f)

going 2 be very honest here i do not even remember what happened in part 1 bcs part 2 of this roommate chan fic actually blew my mind away like Seriously user kacciidubs u r insane!!! all ur work never misses n i am always so eager whenever u post bcs i've been following u n loving everything u put out for so long. ofc ur chan work is my favourite as u can tell but this fic... this fic was crazy the switch between daddy n sir oh my god what if i cream my pants rn. plz never stop writing <3

10. last nerve / pt. 2 — @cb97percent (!!!, s)

user cb97percent let me just preface this by saying whatever u write is INSANE. like i already knew u were a great writer but this fic? changed me as a person not even joking rn. the way mc n chan banter n how chan's an asshole who is pissed off how he can't get it up anymore unless he fucks mc is so funny n how the raw passion between them results in the best sex Ever. n ofc the ending w minho took me out n Yea i just . i have no words plz never stop writing to u as well

11. hush — @petrichor-han (s)

sucker for exhibitionism n sucker for chan so what better way to comemorate this occasion than by reading abt it? this entire scenario was so hot like honestly i can totally imagine chan's bitchass doing this bcs he's so cheeky in nature he would lose himself from the thrill of almost getting caught. u r amazing as always thank u for churning out so much content for kinktober may god or whoever u believe in bless u with eternal inspiration

12. daddy!chan helping you shave — @hyunjins-orange-slice-too (!!!, s, f)

i sent u an ask already talking abt how much i love u n everything u write but THIS. this made me weak in the knees bcs i have imagined this very scenario so many times if im being brutally honest. there's smth so sweet n domestic abt the act of helping ur partner shave n with daddy chan in the mix? kill me now plz. the way he asks if he can play w mc once he's done n how he sternly instructs her to be safe like omgkjdfjhjdfgjhhjg need him in ways that give the pits of hell a run for its money w how hot n nasty im abt to be fr

13. one last time — @baby-yongbok (!!!, s, a?)

like i said, i am a sucker for the exes to lovers pipeline alongside husband chan so while this isn't Either of those things entirely it still scratches the itch in my brain very very well. the way mc n chan exchange snarky remarks n how chan only says he's satisfied once they're done fucking OHHHH MYYYYY GODDDD... need this man carnally like i would dump him just so he can fuck me the way he fucked mc in this fr (that is a lie we r locked in 4 life). u r brilliant as always i always look forward to ur work so next time u r questioning if this is worth it just know lovscb97 on tumblr has ur back fr

14. chan ask drabble #1 — @skzms (s)

maymay.. my eternal luvr... the genius behind smrsmf minsung... ofc u were bound to eat this up n end up on this list. idgaf if it's just an ask answer or drabble bcs the way u write is so . so Elegant. i love how u always use ur words to describe the emotion lingering between ppl in love n the way u do it here w chan n mc, the way he reassures her afterwards n how he promises her he'll give her everything later while fucking his fingers into her ohhhh mannnn.. i can just imagine him in his suit thank u for bringing the vision to life fr

15. you're right, baby — @chlorinecake (s, f)

soft dom chan who is ur fiancé fucking u n claiming u bcs he's a lil pouty that u forgot ur ring?? n then going so far to say he'll cum in u to make sure everyone knows who u belong to?? RAHHHHHH HE NEEDS ME!!! this was written so deliciously i loved the way mc n chan cared for each other n also the ending was so cute LOLZ hope they r happy in every universe n that their wedding goes great fr u r an awesome writer user chlorinecake

16. silence — @valkyriexo (s, a)

make up sex make up sex make up sex!!! i love it so good even tho it hurts so bad when mc realises chan forgot to show up :( but the fact that he makes it up to her by begging her to not leave him n making her cum as many times on his tongue as possible for her to forgive him?? INSANITY!! the longing in their eyes n words n actions from how much they've missed e/o when he finally touches mc n oh man.. u ate this up

17. corruption — @goquokka00 (s)

STEPBRO CHAN RAHHHHH i am a sucker for him (in more ways than one iygwim eheheh.. soz) i loved the sinister blackmail u added into the story n how he fucked mc bcs of her bad grades by making up some shit excuse abt learning how to please someone like y/n u can't be this dense girl!!! (i'd do it too if he asked me #Tbh) ANYWAYS. idk how this didn't have more notes bcs it was hot asfk i hope u keep writing more stuff to come :3

18. chef's kiss — @hyuniepies (s, f)

the tenderness of mc n chan's love mixed w the nasty dirty talk ohhhh hyuniepies u r a GENIUS!! this is exactly how i imagine domestic life w chan would be like; him coming back home to u cooking a dinner n then fucking u absolutely silly on the countertop bcs he just can't wait after getting a look at ur figure n bcs he's missed u so much. i too would be obsessed w bangchan if (read: when) he becomes my husband teehee

19. chan ask drabble #2 — @miupow (!!!, s)

USER MIUPOW UR FUCKING BRAIN!! HOW DO U CARRY SUCH A HUGE BRAIN IN UR HEAD!!! DOES UR BACK NOT HURT FROM HOLDING UP THE DELICIOUS IDEAS OF BCHAN SIZE KINK!!! like i told u yst i love ur writing n i love U so bad. u always eat w every request or idea u come up with n i absolutely adore that for u i hope u truly never stop writing bcs u have a serious gift n i hope ppl keep telling u that constantly bcs i sure as hell will <3

20. pretty mouth of yours — @jeongin-lvr (s, f)

need to give chan head like . Yesterday. but OHHHH MEINNNN GOTTTT fiancé channie w mc sucking him off so pretty u know exactly what im a sucker for u dont u user jeongin-lvr? ur writing is tooooooo good i swear i have read so much of ur work n granted this is one of my fave chan works from u icl i love the jeongin ones even more but i'll add those to my innie recs list later :3 ANYWAYS!! plz never stop writing u r awesomesauce (cringe.) n i love u hope u r having a great day today

21. daddy issues — @hwan-g (!!!, s, a)

HELLO THIS FUCKING FICCCCC... it is so good so delicious so fucking beautifully written that it brought tears to my eyes no joke. i still remember the first time i stumbled across it n like wow.. i think i dmed u on my side reading account too to express how much i liked it bcs i rly Did like it truly was a piece of art n sometimes i can't believe ppl like u just write stuff like this for free?? u should be getting paid good money bcs all ur work ALWAYS eats <3

22. closing the distance / pt. 2 — @thefantasyden (s, f)

ik long distance relationships r tough n it's awful when u can't spend time w each other physically or touch either but hear me out . it would Not suck w chan bcs he'd do everything for u the way he does everything for mc in this fic. from how he shows up n is too nervy to kiss her to them finally touching each other for the first time n then she moves back to him?? ohhhh man i love love n i love U for making this ur work always eats n trust that i'll always come back to this fic when i need to rmb how much i love chan

23. riding chan's thigh/knees — @faeryacha (!!!, s, f)

i love daddy chan so bad im sorry im not even gonna hide it anymore n i love the way he was written here too, from the way he asks if mc wants to play to the way he has her fuck herself on him to get herself off like i'm not even into little space like that but the minute he refers to himself as daddy n speaks to me all soft n protective im on my knees on the floor ready to suck him off like my life depends on it. u ate so bad w this plz continue doing more amazing work in the future!!!

24. steamy desires — @notsoangels (s)

shower sex w chan mngnghfhghgh.. need him so bad id let him fuck me anywhere as he pleases but in the shower?? w the hot water cascading over us w just us in our little world like omgomgomg NEED. i love the simplicity in ur writing too n how it paints a picture in my mind bcs i can vividly imagine all of this happening like him making u squirt on his cock n then rinsing u off so u can spend time wrapped up with each other on the bed like plz. One chance plz.

25. the fuckboy next door — @seospicybin (!!!, s, a)

miss seospicybin.. how do u always do it? how do u always come out w the most mindbreaking jawdropping amazing insane array of fics without even breaking a sweat like hello? this series is so fucking good from the smut to the angst that hurts so good. i love the development of the plot n that chan tries So hard to be true to mc so he can be w her n the way she tells him to do it for himself like :( they deserve each other sm i am very much looking forward to part 4!!!

26. pussydrunk chan — @aeliuss (s, f)

mngngngngjghgh i love pussydrunk chan so bad n i love the idea of him being so infatuated w mc that he just Had to drag her away n eat her out. i also love that he's there to support her in the end n how turned on he gets from her just being herself like that is a real man!!! n the way it's so reflective of how chan is irl too? i feel like this is how exactly how he'd behave— needy but so so soo in love with u too

27. kitty — @bandgie (!!!, s, f)

no joke this fic made my pussy throb. i need him 2 do this to him so bad bcs i need Him so bad. the way u wrote the subspace drop n how immersed mc was in her role n the way chan guides her thru everything n then the aftermath of it like hngnngnfgddjghjgh... i always have loved ur writing but this particular piece rly got to me along w ur kinktober series i hope u continue to do writing bcs u seriously so so SO good at it fr!!

28. angel eyes — @temptaetions (!!!, s, a)

this fic. this fucking FIC. bro this is actual evidence of the fact that literary geniuses exist bcs the way u wrote so beautifully not just the actual smut but the whole storyline?? u r a godsend fr like u should be getting paid to put out work of this degree. not only r u a PHENOMENAL writer but i hope u never stop writing bcs this was actually so so lovely n amazing to read i wish i could revisit the first time i read this T_T

29. just (fucking) friends? — @snowyquokka (s)

HELLOOOO i love possessive fwb chan almost as much as i love ur writing!! the way he's so annoyed at how she said they're just friends so he takes out his anger on her but then at the same time asks her what her color is to make sure she's still okay WOWZAAAA.. need him Bad. n in the end when they both agree they don't wanna be just friends like chan.. i don't want 2 be just friends either.. come 2 me plz... anyways very yummy work fr

30. american whiskey — @straywrds (!!!, s, a)

this fic... how do i even begin w this fic... the way u write is actually so . so otherwordly yk? u rly pour all ur passion into ur writing n the way u describe everything like every emotion every detail every feeling it's so raw n real that it touches my heart. i can Feel what each of the characters go thru n the SMUT... the smut is so so delicious ofc. i've read ur other work n u r such a good writer plz keep going with what u do i will always support u fr

31. free use w/ soft dom chris — @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (s, f)

the dirty talk in this.. hngnngkgjjdgjjh. i need free use w daddy!chan just as bad as i need to reread this fic ten times until it's ingrained in my brain n any telepath w the ability to read minds out there is disgusted by how many times i think abt it (idk what this analogy was i am sorry). the way he eats mc out n the way he fucks her omgfkjdgjhjhgjh NEED HIM RAHHHHH u did so well w this

32. play tight / pt. 4  — @roseykat (s, a)

squirting w chan squirting w chan SQUIRTING!! W CHAN!!! the way he makes mc do it once n then immediately goes "yea i need to feel that on my dick" n fucks her within an inch of her life like ohmygodjkdjhsfghj i did eat up the angst too but the way u wrote them fuckinig was so nasty n delicious I ENJOYED IT SM!! this entire series is such a good read even tho it's not chan centered idk if there r more parts to it but if there r plz link me to them!!

33. dream you — @charmercharm3r (s, f)

ok i know we r discussing smut n all n trust that i will get to that but THIS!! this was so cute n precious ohemgee the way he loves mc n takes care of her n banters w her at the start so lovingly is so so precious to me i want him so bad :( the smut was also very delicious w chan switching to hard dom mode n making mc suck him off before ravishing her like oh my god PLZZZZ FUCK ME PLZPLZPLZ u did so well on this plz continue writing more for me at the least <3

34. brat-taming w/ chan — @blurboki (s)

this damn drabble was so.. hngngjfjghjhdgjh. i want 2 be a brat to chan so bad n act out just so he'll snap n put me into my place which is exactly what u wrote n i LOVED IT!!! it's so short n simple (not a bad thing at all btw) yet it's so powerful too? i love the characterisation of chan cus i firmly believe this is how he'd act in bed w a fussy bratty s/o like wow. Just wow. i love u and ur delicious mind i hope u r having a great day just for this :3

35. tell me all about it.. — @chnsbm (s, f)

hngnfjhdfsjghgjh the idea of chan making u forget all about ur stress n playing with u to help u sleep is so gfjfjjjffjhgjhjh HOT!!! the way he lovingly reassures mc like u don't need to worry abt it now just let me take care of u n how he's such a fuckin TEASE!! w the way he's touching her is so so hot u ate w this idea n i will forever die on the hill that this is really smth chan would do— tease u n make u talk while he's doing ungodly things to u just to see u stutter over ur words

36. be that guy — @daizymax (!!!, s, a)

i have said it once i have said it twice n i will say it one more time bcs i don't care how many times i need to reiterate it needs to be said: EXES TO LOVERS W CHAN IS TOP TIER!!! the smut in this was so delicious but the LONGING chan had for mc.. the way he felt the twinge in his chest for letting her go oh man.. i'd take him back if he so even looked at me but maybe im just crazy. BUT ANYWAYS!! this is possibly one of the hottest chan smuts there ever is so thank U for this delicious gift fr

37. more than just friends — @kwanisms (!!!, s, f)

werewolf chan my luvr... my big strong baby who will knock me up w his knot n fuck me until the sun rises RAHHHHHHHH!!! this was so so SOOOOO good n yummy like from the way he pinned mc to the wall to the way he ordered her around n how his self restraint snapped the moment she called him daddy like why's that so Me behaviour HELPPPP anyways user kwanisms u fucking ATE w this i hope ur pillow is cold every night u go to sleep <3

38. connected — @j-0ne25 (s, f, a)

let me just start this by saying I FUCKING LOVE U USER J-0NE25!!! ur interactive stories esp megaverse r so fucking good how r u so bigbrained my dumbass could never like actually JSDHJFJHGJH. anyways i rmb reading this very vividly n oh boy.. "baby patience, or do you need me to teach you a lesson?" Brother my panties r drenched n off dont even start w me rn. anyways this was so so delicious plz never stop writing i beg u

39. chan ask drabble #3 — @hyungszn (!!!, s, f)

saved the best for last but CLOVER.. (u dk me but i am ur biggest fan hai :3) "your mouth is saying no but your body is telling me a different story, mrs. bang." GRRRHJDJSDFJHKJSFKJSFKJGJ... I NEED HIM SOO FUCKING BAD!!! the way they banter even while having nasty sex n just love each other so bad n hello my breeding kink went feral w this. when mc asked him to not eat his cum out of her pussy n he was like "and why is that?" cus he wanted to hear her say it GRAHHHHH I WILL EAT HIM!!! on a side note, u r so so soooo amazing i have been reading ur work for so long i think since american pie n i can safely say u r one of the best skzblr writers i have ever seen along w so many other ppl like plz keep up the good work bcs i will ALWAYS support u for it !!!

. . .

add notes: thank u very much to all these amazing writers fr. if ur work wasn't featured here now do not fret!! i probably (most definitely knowing my dumbass) just missed it cus i didn't scroll Very far down in my likes (there's like 2k+....) so trust that u will most likely end up on the next recs list!! i love u all very much regardless if u r here or not n as always a very big thank u once more for all ur amazing hard work, u r all doing so well n i hope u guys know that <3

[mandalhoerian]

CELEBRATION POST! First of all, THANK YOU for sticking around to witness whatever chaos I’m putting out into the world. And welcome to the 200 new people who somehow decided to vibe with me after my love & deepspace posting streak! (Yes, I counted. I had 940 before I started lads-posting. That’s wild.)

Not to get too sappy, but seeing the love for my first rafayel fic literally within DAYS gave me the confidence to put more of my brainworms into the world. I used to just daydream about these ideas while blasting my playlists, but now I’m like,,,,, actually writing them down because YOU GUYS make me feel so valid LMFAO 😭💞

Anyway, here’s what I’m cooking up next because why not celebrate by oversharing:

1) You actually got sacrificed for Rafayel to ascend and Lemuria to prosper AU. I call this one "Ascended Rafayel" in honor of Astarion LMAO.

In which you randomly awaken on the shore, surrounded by people fussing about the Sea God's divine message to have his most devout and beloved follower be treated like a queen. You have no idea why any of this is happening, you don't even worship the sea god. Your last memory is getting thrown overboard. Yet here you are, in just a few days, living paradise on earth in an overwater bungalow system, revered because it's apparently you who's the source of the blessings. There's something terribly wrong with you, though. You don't feel the same. Too heartless, unfeeling, hollow, only left with a gut feeling that your entire life was taken away from you, and there's nothing but a dull, aching resentment left in you for the sea and the god you're being favored by -- and you want to escape this place.

Inspired by that one "get in the water" fanart of long-haired rafayel i've seen but can't find anymore (you can probably guess from this alone where this fic is going)😭

2) canon divergence of addictive pain anectode

in which i give rafayel stalking the mc to her college and starting to give lectures there as a guest professor the energy it deserves. still trying to figure out if i should have the reader just be a student or an undergraduate ta

3) sylus making a random appearance here. concept inspired by manhwas "villainess maker" and "a villainess for the tyrant"

in which sylus "trains" the very normal, timid, kindhearted reader with has a rare fear inducement evol to become his villainess (trophy) wife (to use her as an asset, yes, bc someone crazier than him won't be used as his weakness) who can bring people down to their knees with just a look.

the problem is, she's REALLY soft-hearted and makes herself small because of the isolation and the nasty treatment she's received her whole life. she has suffered from the sheer uncontrollable and debilitating nature of this evol since it's always constantly on, like even animals won't go near her, but sylus is literally the first person to not be affected by this. they're truly kindred spirits together and the cutest in my head. an empowerment fic lowkey

4) possibility of making other installments of nightly rendezvous cards bc ideas are rotting in my head. especially temperature play for zayne

Again, thank you for being here, for hyping me up, and for making this little corner of the internet feel like home !! I love you all sm, and I hope you’re as excited for what’s next as I am

Here’s to more fics and more brainrot <3

[willalove75]

The Estate | Lady Dimitrescu x Fem!oc

WHAT DAY IS IT?! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY?! WOOHOO!!! I hope you all join me as I enter the final year of my 20s! And since one of my love languages is gift-giving, I am giving you all a present today! I debated on releasing this earlier this summer but I wanted to get a few chapters done before I did - and get a little further into Alcina's New Maid before I started putting out chapters. But ANM will still be updated weekly! Fear not! (And I know chapter 16 is late, I didn't get to finish it yesterday so I will finish it either today or tomorrow I promise!) Ideally, I would love to update this fic weekly as well but I just don't know if that is realistic so I am aiming for a bi-weekly or monthly update for this. Might be a little more frequently, might not. So I apologize in advance for irregular updates for this until I can get myself on a reasonable writing schedule! I do have a couple of chapters done already but I want to try and have a few chapters lined up as they're released. Unlike ANM where I literally brain-dump each chapter each week (usually done in a single day) and post it after I read it over a couple of times. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this fic since it's been rotting my brain for MONTHS and I literally have not been able to stop thinking about it and coming up with ideas/expanding on my ideas literally every fucking day for the last like, 4 months? LOL

Summary: It's been a tough few years for you. After a tragedy that left you to raise your three year old, Emma, as a single parent, you're finally starting to get back on your feet. Recently hired as a marketing & social media strategist for Dimitrescu Estate, a new chapter of your life is just beginning.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: Slow burn, fluff, angst, smut, flirty

I'll add more tags as needed!

Notes: I know I have so many other requests I should be doing but once again my mind has been plagued by this story I came up with and I need to get it out of my headddd.

Also, this is a blended oc/reader fic. Using "you" has become so engrained into my writing it's almost impossible to not add it (as opposed to writing she/her), but I will be giving the oc a name and describing her! Ik that's not everyone's cup of tea so I apologize in advance but I hope you enjoy it regardless! It'll be written in a similar fashion as Safety and Dimitrescu Books for those of you who are wondering what that will be like and/or read those (fucking amazing and wonderful) fics!

You take in the beautiful field around you, the crystal blue sky, the tall grass blowing in the breeze. Even though you have no idea where you are, it's warm and you have a fullness in your heart you haven't felt in a long time. In the distance you spot a familiar figure.

"It can't be-" you begin to say.

The figure continues to walk in your direction, but doesn't seem to get any closer. You begin to take a few steps forward, your legs feel like lead, slowing your movements. You try to run but you can't - desperate to get closer to the figure. You try and cry out to them but there's no sound when you scream. Using all of your power to move forward, each step becomes more difficult than the last. The figure walking towards you stops and stands still. With tears in your eyes you try and cry out again, and just like last time, there's no sound. The figure begins to move forward again. This time it finally seems like it's coming closer. Their face covered by shadow. You take step after step, using all of your strength to make your way to the figure. You're almost close enough to make out their face as tears stain your cheeks.

You're jolted awake by your alarm clock. Groaning, you reach over to the nightstand to shut it off. Looking down at your pillow you see teardrops scattered across it. Wiping your eyes you realize you were crying in your sleep again. You look up at the clock. 6am. You put your head back down and turn to the other side, reaching your arm across the empty side of the bed. Gently grabbing the pillow next to you, you take a deep, grounding breath and finally get up.

You exit your room and quietly open the other bedroom door. Inside is your three year old daughter, Emma, fast asleep in her toddler bed. Closing the door you make your way into the bathroom and turn the shower on. Pulling your hair out of it's messy ponytail you begin to undresses. Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror, the darkness hides most of what you see. Unless Emma is with you, every shower you've taken for the last two years has been in the dark. You had grown tired of looking into the mirror and seeing the dark circles under your eyes, noticing that you had lost weight - just looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing a shell of your former self. Even though you feel like you've been able to reclaim a lot of yourself in the last year, you always have a feeling of emptiness looming in your chest.

After showering you check the baby monitor, noticing Emma is beginning to stir, you quickly get dressed and walk into the bedroom. You make you way over to the toddler bed and sit on the edge, running your fingers through the little girls wild curls.

"Good morning my love." You quietly say.

The little girl turns her head and looks up at you, a sleepy smile crosses her face.

"Good morning mommy." She says with a yawn.

"Come on baby, lets get you up." You say, reaching down to pick up the girl, who sits up and reaches for you.

Lifting Emma out of the bed, she cuddles into your neck. You hold the back of her head and take a deep breath in, the empty ache in your chest eases some. After entering the kitchen you put the girl in her booster seat at the table and begin making breakfast for the both of you.

After breakfast you clean up the kitchen and get Emma dressed and put her in the playpen in the living room with her toys while you finish getting yourself ready.

You finish packing up the diaper bag and throwing a few of Emma's toys into another bag. After grabbing the rest of your own things you take Emma out of the playpen and head downstairs.

"Good morning Margie." You say.

"Oh Katie! Good morning!"

A small, elderly woman gets up from the kitchen table and walks up to the two of you.

"Good morning Margie!" Emma says.

"And good morning to you too princess." She says, squeezing the baby's chubby cheeks. "You want coffee hon?"

"No thanks, I'll grab something on my way, I don't want to be late."

"Oh right! Today's the first day of that new job, how are you feeling?"

"I'm excited, I'm looking forward to working in my field again."

"That's great but you know that's not what I meant." She says flatly. "How are you feeling?"

Knowing what she means you look down for a moment and then back up at Margie.

"I'm okay, I'm hanging in there." Margie gives you a look. "I mean, barely, but I'm hanging in there. I'm terrified to leave her." You say looking at Emma as your eyes begin to gloss over. "But I know it's what I have to do, and I really do miss working, I need some sort of normalcy back in my life."

Margie brings her hand to your face and wipes away the stray tear that fell.

"You're gonna do great kid. Knock 'em dead." She says with a smile and pats Katie's cheek.

"Thanks Marge."

With Emma and your things in tow you head to the car, putting Emma in her car seat and dropping your bags in the front passenger seat. When you pull out of the driveway you beep and wave at Marge who's waving from the front door and head off.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Emma says.

"Yes baby, what is it?"

"I want Baby Shark!"

You groan a little, it's just barely 8am and you haven't had coffee, Baby Shark may actually make you snap right now.

"Mommy pleaseeeee!" Emma whines.

"Okay fine."

Her whining is so much worse than Baby Shark, so you oblige. The music starts and Emma starts laughing and clapping her hands and sings along. You do your best to drown it out with your thoughts.

"Mommy! Sing Mommy shark!"

Looking at the girl through the rearview mirror you smile.

"Okay, okay." You say. "Mommy shark do do do do do do, Mommy shark do do do do do do Mommy shark!"

Emma squeals with happiness, you can listen to her laugh all day. It's one of the few things that's been able to get you through the last couple of years.

Pulling up to your in-laws house, you grab the diaper bag, Emma's toys and Emma and head to the front door.

"Nana!!!" Emma squeals when your mother-in-law opens the door.

"Good morning my baby!" She says as she picks Emma up and squeezes her. "Good morning Katie." She hugs you and kisses you on the cheek.

"Morning mom." You say and hug her back. "Thank you so much for watching her, really."

"Of course, I'd do anything for my grandbaby!" She says putting Emma down so she can go play. "Come in, sit."

"I can only stay for a minute, I gotta grab coffee on my way."

"Oh nonsense, I'll make you some and send you with one of our travel mugs, don't waste your money."

Her kindness makes you smile. Not only does your mother-in-law make the best coffee you've ever had, her warmth is always something that's comforted you. After you take a seat at the kitchen table you hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Who's in my house?!" You hear a voice playfully yell.

Emma's squealing laugh rings through the house as you hear footsteps walk towards the direction she ran off in. Your mother-in-law puts a cup of coffee down in front of you and the smell is to die for.

"Thanks mom." You say with a smile.

"Good morning sunshine!" Looking over you see your father-in-law with Emma in his arms.

"Morning dad." You say as he kisses you on the cheek.

"Oh coffee? Michelle can you make me a cup?" He asks, looking over at his wife.

"Of course."

"So Katie, you excited for your first day at the new job?" He asks.

"I am, a little nervous, but I'm excited to start working again."

"Yeah it's about time." He says playfully.

"Richard." Michelle hisses as she puts his coffee down in front of him.

"I'm only joking!"

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and sits down at the table. "So which vineyard are you working at again?"

"Dimitrescu Estate."

"Oh right, I've been there a few times, it's a nice place. Very pretty, and they have great wine." She says.

"What are you doing there?" Richard asks.

"Marketing and social media, pretty much the same thing I did at the last place."

"That's right."

Looking down at your watch you realize the time.

"Crap I have to go or I'm gonna be late." You say, getting up.

Michelle gets up, grabs your coffee cup and pours it into a travel mug, pops the top onto it and hands it to you.

"There you go sweetheart."

"Thanks mom." You say, hugging her.

"Okay love, mommy has to go, have fun with Nana and Pop!" You place a kiss on Emma's head and the baby's face scrunches, signaling she's about to wail.

"Hey Emma? Wanna go to the park with me?" Richard asks.

Her face lights up at the word "park", meltdown averted.

"YES!" She screams.

"Thank you." You whisper to Richard and kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for looking after her." You say as you head towards the door.

"We'll take her any day of the week!" Richard says.

"Love you honey." Michelle says.

"Love you guys too!"

"Good luck!" Richard calls out after her.

Once you're out the door Michelle swats Richard with a dishtowel.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"'About time?' Really Richard?" She scolds him.

"What? I was kidding, she knows I was!"

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and leaves the kitchen.

You jump into your car and plug in the address of the vineyard. You had been there a few years ago when you went to the wineries with your friends; hopping to and from the various establishments in the area, but that was it. Your first interview was over the phone, the second one, a Zoom interview, you couldn't even see your new boss' face because her webcam was broken. All you were able to hear was the woman's voice. It had a silky tone - sultry, even - if you were being honest. Aside from that, you knew nothing about her, you really weren't even sure if the woman you spoke with was the owner or just an employee.

Pulling up to the vineyard you put your car in park. You pull your necklace out of your shirt and hold onto it, your fingers tracing the outline of the heart shape. After taking a deep breath and exhaling, you drop the necklace back down under your shirt. You grab your bags and head inside.

The memories of the time you and your friends were here come flooding back as you walk in. You admire the ornate style of the room - it's just as pretty as it was when you were here last. As you look around you spot a beautiful grand piano tucked away in the corner and you take note of the jazz music softly playing over the speakers.

"Sorry, we don't open until 11." A slightly aggravated voice says.

You look over and see a young girl cleaning the bar, looking at you, visibly annoyed. She can't be older than 20, dark brown, almost black hair. She's wearing a tight black t-shirt with various silver necklaces dangling from her neck.

"Oh, I'm Katie, the new marketing and social media strategist."

The girls demeanor softens, but not much.

"MOM!!" She yells towards the back. "MOM!!!"

A blond girl runs out from the kitchen area.

"Cassandra shut it, mom's on the phone!"

The dark haired girl, Cassandra, rolls her eyes.

"Can you take her to go see mom?" She asks the blond, nodding towards you.

"Nope, sorry, I have to go, I have class in a little bit."

"Bela pleaseeeee." Cassandra whines.

"No Cass, I'm leaving, bye!" The blond disappears into the kitchen again and Cassandra rolls her eyes.

"Follow me."

She leads you to the back of the winery where the offices are. There aren't many offices, but in each one there's someone diligently working.

Cassandra stops at the door furthest away and throws it open.

"Mom!"

The woman behind the desk snaps her attention up to her daughter with intensity in her eyes. Her phone pressed against her ear. She holds a finger up to Cassandra signaling for her to wait, but never breaks eye contact with her.

The woman is beautiful. Jet black hair with near perfect curls that fall just under her jawline. Gorgeous grey-blue eyes, full lips painted with the perfect shade of crimson red. She's wearing a white button down, the first few buttons undone - just enough to show off her large chest but covered up enough to still be professional. The sleeves are neatly rolled to her elbows, you also take note of her perfectly manicured nails, painted black. She's wearing layered, elegant gold necklaces that accentuate her neckline. She has a few rings and a matching bracelet on to pull the look together.

"Am nevoie de transport până săptămâna viitoare. . . Nu, abia așteaptă. . . Trebuie să plec. . . La revedere."

(I need the shipment by next week. . . No, it can't wait. . . I have to go. . . Goodbye.)

She places the phone into its cradle and her eyes snap back to Cassandra.

"What have I told you about yelling across the building?" Her voice is stern, matching the intensity in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I-"

"Were you dying?"

"What?"

Her question surprised and confused you too.

"Were you dying?"

"No?"

"Was one of your sisters dying or gravely injured?"

"No."

"Was there any emergency whatsoever?"

Cassandra sighs. "No."

"Then there is no reason for you to be screaming across my tasting room. Understood?"

"Yes mom." She says, hanging her head.

"Now what is it that you needed?" The woman's tone softens.

"The new girl is here. The social media whatever?"

The woman groans, putting her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

"Cassandra. You act like that in front of our new employee?" She grumbles. "Go, finish your morning tasks." She says, waving the girl off.

Cassandra lets out an exaggerated "UGH" accompanied by a dramatic eye roll and begins to walk away.

"��i dacă nu remediați această atitudine, vă voi trimite înapoi în România." She calls after her.

(And if you don't fix that attitude I will ship you back to Romania.)

"Sorry mom." Cassandra looks at her mom who raised eyebrow at her.

The woman nods her away.

"I apologize for that, she can be quite difficult sometimes." She says as her eyes follow her daughter while she walks away. When Cassandra is out of view her eyes snap to you.

"Oh, it's no worry at all." You say with a soft smile.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Please, take a seat." She gestures to the chair in front of her desk.

The woman reaches her hand out across her desk as you sit.

"Alcina Dimitrescu, owner and operator of Dimitrescu Estate."

Your hand meets hers for a firm handshake. "Katie Moore, it's great to finally meet you as well."

"Is Katie short for anything?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah, Kathleen." You say.

"Kathleen, what a beautiful name. Do you prefer Katie over Kathleen?"

"Oh it doesn't really matter to me. I'll respond to both."

"Wonderful. Well then Kathleen, welcome. We'll go over the job responsibilities. I'll have you fill out some paperwork and then I'll show you around the facility."

"Sounds good."

Alcina goes over what the job requirements are, what she expects of you, where the person who was in your position had left off, the usual.

"And you will get a company laptop, you can leave it here, take it home, doesn't matter much to me. As long as it's well taken care of." She picks up the phone and presses a few numbers on t he keypad and you hear the intercom go off.

"Cassandra, my office please." She hangs the phone up and looks back at you. "Cassandra has set up your laptop, if there's anything else you need, any programs you use that aren't installed, she can take care of that for you."

Cassandra walks into the office, seemingly in a better mood than earlier.

"What's up mom?"

"Can you please bring me Kathleen's laptop."

"On it." She says and walks away.

"Now for the paperwork. I'll have you fill out these and then I'll take down some of your information." She says as she hands you a W2 and some other new employee paperwork.

She hands you a pen and you begin to fill out the paperwork on her desk as she turns her attention back to her computer.

"Here you go mom." Cassandra says, handing her mom a laptop box.

"Thank you draga. Almost done with your morning tasks?"

"Yup, just gotta put out the spill trays and then I'm done."

"Excellent, thank you draga mea."

Cassandra leaves as you finish filling out the paperwork. You trade her the paperwork for the laptop box and place it on the chair next to you.

"Okay, now I just need some of your information."

She takes down your address, phone number, birthdate, etc.

"And who is your emergency contact? God forbid something were to happen."

"Uh, Jake-" You stop yourself, shaking your head as you feel your heart sink. "Sorry, uh," Alcina looks at you over her reading glasses. "It'll be my mom, I guess, Deborah Wilson."

Alcina takes down your moms information and places her glasses on her desk.

"Excellent, now that that's out of the way, I will show you the facility. You can leave your things here."

Alcina pushes her chair away from her desk and stands up, you're taken back at how tall she is. She's damn near 7 feet tall. Alcina is easily a foot taller than you. With your work heels you're 5'4" on a good day. In her heels, Alcina is easily 6'5"-6'6".

You take notice of Alcina's full outfit - and her body. Her black stilettos, high waisted, wide legged dress pants accentuate her long legs. A thick belt with a black belt buckle that frames her waist, showing off her round hips. Her ensemble is reminiscent of the 1940s-1950s, but with a modern twist. It's obvious she has a great sense of style.

Alcina walks effortlessly through the halls in her stilettos as she shows you around the facility. She tells you what each room is, what its purpose is for and tells you a little bit of history of the place. She explains that there are a few other buildings on the property where the grapes are sent to and where the wine is made and bottled, but that this is the main building. Alcina takes you through the kitchen and into the vineyard a bit to show the different grapes that are put into making the wine.

Next on the tour, she brings you down into the wine cellar. You were expecting a dreary basement, but you're surprised when you see a beautiful wine cellar. It looks like something out of a movie.

Wine racks line the walls from floor to ceiling, housing hundreds - maybe even a thousand - bottles of wine. The stone archway along with the wooden accents and shelves give the room a rustic yet elegant feel. There's a gorgeous wooden table in the center with four chairs. The set looks like it's custom made.

As you look around the room you see Alcina walk over to one of the racks. She moves a wine barrel to the side like it weighed nothing.

"Even if that thing is empty, it still has to weigh a ton." You think to yourself.

Alcina examines the rack and carefully pulls a bottle off of it.

"And this, this is what started it all." She says, handing you the bottle.

As you examine the bottle you note the beautiful gold and red details around it. It looks expensive. The label on the front reads:

"Sanguis Virginis."

"Precisely, Romanian for Maiden's Blood." Alcina says with a smile as she takes the bottle and returns it to its place.

You don't even realize the confused expression on your face until you hear Alcina chuckle at it.

"Obviously, not made with real blood. My ancestors originate from Romania, my great-grandfather it was I believe who first began making Sanguis Virginis, well over a hundred years ago at his vineyard in Romania. Eventually the business was passed down to me, however I decided to take it in a bit of a different direction. Since I was already established here in the US when I acquired the business, I purchased this property and turned it into what it is today. We've expanded our collection and now we make over 25 different wine. And I import other things such as ciders and beers from both Romania and local breweries for our customers to enjoy. No longer do we just make and sell the wine to distributers."

Alcina looks around the wine cellar with pride, you can see the passion for her family's business in her eyes.

"Any questions?"

"No, I think you covered everything. It's beautiful down here."

"Why thank you. The cellar is my personal favorite room on the entire property."

"I can see why, it's stunning."

You take in the rest of your surroundings. The warm wood absorbs the lighting, giving the room a soft yet bright glow. It's a large cellar but somehow it still feels cozy.

"Alright, lets head back upstairs, shall we? We should be opening in a few minutes and I like to do a once-over to make sure everything is in place." Alcina says.

"Sounds good."

Alcina leads you out of the wine cellar and back up to the tasting room. Cassandra and another bartender are behind the bar, drying glasses and putting them away. Alcina swipes her finger across the piano, inspects it, and nods in approval. You notice her glace at the piano again, looking at it with adoration.

"Do you play?" You ask.

"Lifetimes ago." She says with a smile. "But I wasn't very good."

"Mom what are you talking about?" Cassandra says from the bar. "You're one of the best piano players I've ever heard."

"Thank you draga." She says, smiling at her daughter.

After her inspection is complete she walks to the front doors and opens them, pulling the doorstop down with the bottom of her heel. She flips the "closed" sign over to "open" and makes her way to the massive floor to ceiling windows that line the wall across from the bar. She unlocks each window and pushes on the side of the frame to open them, making sure each window is open at the same angle.

"She's so anal retentive when she opens." Cassandra says, half complaining and half just saying it out loud.

"I can hear you." Alcina says from across the room.

Cassandra rolls her eyes and continues to put the glasses away.

Making her way over the the double glass doors leading to the outside patio, Alcina props them open allowing a cool summer breeze through the tasting room.

She gives the room another once-over. When she's satisfied she nods to herself again and looks at Cassandra.

"Everything looks wonderful. If you need me, you know where to find me. Kathleen," She says, turning to you. "lets finish getting you set up."

Alcina leads you back to her office. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and a sudden chill runs up your spine. Quickly taking it out, you see a text from Michelle. Your heart begins to race as you open the message. A sigh of relief is released when you realize it's just some photos of Emma, covered in flour, helping Michelle make cookies.

"Everything alright?" Alcina says.

Focused on opening the text message, you didn't even realize that you stopped following Alcina.

"Oh, yes, sorry." You say as you catch up with her. "Just my mother-in-law, she's watching my daughter today and was giving me an update."

"You have a daughter?" Alcina asks, a little surprised as they walk into her office.

"Yeah, Emma, she's about 3 and a half." You say, sitting back down.

Alcina glances down at your hands, taking notice of an absent wedding ring on your left ring finger. She also notices a ring that looks like it could be a wedding band on your right ring finger.

"How sweet. It's a fun age. Although from my experience with the girls, it's the terrible three's that are the hardest. Two was an easy age."

"I wholeheartedly agree with that. She's wonderful but likes to get herself into all kinds of things. Luckily, besides her insatiable curiosity for things that can hurt her, she's a really good kid."

Alcina laughs, pulling a smile across your face.

"Children are wonderful, until they become teenagers that is. That's when the real fun begins." She says sarcastically.

"Oh, I could only imagine. It makes me cringe as a parent now when I think of all of the things I said and did when I was a teenager."

"Oh, so you were a bad kid?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

A light blush creeps across your cheeks. "I wouldn't say I was a bad kid. At least I wasn't worse than your average teenager."

Alcina gives you a smirk, the corner of her lip curled into a half smile.

"Is she flirting with me?" The thought flashes across your mind but you quickly dismiss it. This is your new boss, Alcina's just being nice, it's your first day here. There's no way she's flirting with you right now.

"So, I will show you to your office and let you get yourself settled." Alcina says.

Grabbing your bag and the laptop box, Alcina leads you to the room closest to her office and flicks the lights on.

It's a modest little office, on the left you see an L shaped desk in the corner against the glass window facing the hallway. On top sits two monitors, a desk chair and a small desk lamp. To the right is a small empty bookshelf. The office isn't anything fancy, but it's yours, and you're surprisingly excited about it.

"Please feel free to decorate it how you see fit." Alcina says, checking her watch. "I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I'll stop by again this afternoon to check and see how things are going. Cassandra should have left you a list of our social media logins." She says, walking over to the desk and picking up a sheet of paper. "Here it is. Take a look at them and when I get back I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you think they're doing and of course, what could be improved." She says, handing you the paper. "You did mention on your resume photography skills, yes?"

"Yes, and some videography and video editing skills as well."

"Excellent. The channels were being run by my eldest, Bela. But since she's has an internship beginning soon she no longer has the time. And since our last marketing director left, things have been in a bit of a disarray. Hopefully it won't be too overwhelming." She says, trying to gauge your reaction.

"I'm always up for a good challenge." You say with a smile.

Alcina gives a nod of approval and spins around on her heel to leave.

"I must be off. I'll be back in a little while to check in, if there's anything you need please seek out Cassandra. If she's doing what she's supposed to, you'll find her behind the bar in the tasting room."

"Sounds good, thank you."

"And Kathleen," Alcina says, turning back towards you. "Welcome to Dimitrescu Estate."

[wolveswithblackpearls]

Bring Me To Life

Genre: Angst, Power Era, MAMA Era, Open Ending

Summary: All is well when Chanyeol returns from his patrol. The red force is probably still licking its wounds from their last confrontation, right? ...right?

Word count: 4 k

Warnings: major character death, revival / coming back from the dead, coming back wrong

A/N: Happy Holidays @exo-xexo! I (admin j aka @breeze-of-sunlight) am your secret santa~

I wish for you to be able to end this year peacefully and find some rest in the coming weeks. Hopefully you'll enjoy this little fic - let me know what you thought of it if you want!

For all those unfamiliar, this fic was posted as a part of the @exols-silver-christmas event 2024. Please check out the gifts from this and the past years if you want to see some beautiful creations by all kinds of EXO-Ls. Happy holidays to you too, santa admin. As usual, thank you so much for hosting!

May you find time for yourself in these last days of the year, dear reader.

"Chanyeol, duck!", is the last thing Chanyeol hears before something hits his shoulder and promptly dissolves into goo all over his neck and back. 

And it had been such a good day until now.

He can hear Kai and Sehun cackling behind him as he tries to shake off the worst of it and pull the more resistant parts of the novaberry from the hair on his nape. "Real mature guys, incredibly funny! You're off duty for five seconds and immediately behave like little shi-"

"Sorry, I tried to warn you, but I guess my timing was off.", Suho tries to placate as he makes his way to Chanyeol opposite of where the still snickering duo stands.

"Apology accepted, but only if you send these two right back on patrol again."

Suho huffs a laugh at that and brushes off a piece of the berry Chanyeol had missed. However, a frown replaces his easy grin and he turns to address the others. "Could you come over here, please? I need to ask you all something without yelling my lungs out".

"Sure", Kai hollers back and reaches out to grab Sehun's neck. The later only has a short second to let out an undignified squawk before they get teleported across the field and materialize next to Suho. 

"Ugh, I hate it when you do that! Could at least warn me beforehand?"

"I could."

"But? You won't?"

"Boys,", interrupts Suho, long suffering of his brother's antics, "could we please focus for one second?"

"One.", echo Kai and Sehun at once but stay silent afterwards. Chanyeol can smell Suho’s hair greying.

"Have any of you noticed anything different or suspicious on you patrols today?", Suho makes a point of staring each man in front of him down until they shake their heads one after the other. "Has anyone heard back from Baekhyun yet?"

Chanyeol feels his face drop. "No, why? Is something wrong? What's going on?"

Sighing heavily, Suho lowers his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. "There might be." When he raises his head back up, he admits " Baekhyun is not yet back from his mission. I talked to the others too, but no one has heard from him since he left this morning. And we can’t reach him via transmitter right now. Quite frankly, I'm worried."

And you're definitely not alone with that. Chanyeol adds mentally. Baekhyun has never been their most serious member. On the contrary, nothing seems to bring him more joy than to aggravate the others. But not coming home from a standard patrol? Not even trying to contact them about any anomalies altering his usual routes? That's simply not a line even he would cross for the sake of a prank. He must just have forgotten.

"Kai,", Suho pulls Chanyeol back from his thoughts, "I want you to teleport to his usual checkpoints. See if you can figure out whether he's been there today."

Kai nods solemnly, the mischief from a few moments ago long forgotten.

"I don't want you to face this alone and walk into a potential trap. Take Kyungsoo with you."

"Wait, hold up!", Chanyeol interrupts, "What do you mean 'Take Kyungsoo with you'? I'm literally right here?"

“Chanyeol, do not take this personally, but Kyungsoo tends to be a lot more levelheaded than you are in these situations”, Suho tries to calm him down. And Chanyeol can see the reasoning in that, but-

"And we literally need you right here, idiot.", Sehun raises his brow at him. "We're already down a guardian who can cast a shield of light over the tree of life. If this happens to be a trap, we don't need our actual firewall gone too."

Feeling his cheeks heat from being scolded by his younger brother, Chanyeol turns away from the group. A petty fine barely had the time to leave his lips when their transmitters light up simultaneously.

"Guys,", Xiumin’s grim voice filters through the devices, "we found him."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

There have been few days Chen has felt so much negativity in their hallowed halls. Or rather, beneath the tree of life. For good reason. While the tree is not all powerful, it at least grants its guardians one thing: quasi-immortality. In the long time they've been guardians, they have never had one of them dying.

That doesn't change the fact that Baekhyun’s cold body lies before them anyway. Looking all the more fragile between the massive roots.

But it simply must be him, from his long fingers to the small freckle over his lip, Chen is certain about it. This is Baekhyun. Xiumin could have dumped an entire frozen ocean's worth of ice over Chen's head and he still couldn't have been more frozen in pace.

Chanyeol, as expected, is not quite as silent about the matter.

"Lay, I know your power is health stuff and all, but how in the world is this supposed to work? He's not missing a finger; he's missing a heartbeat."

"'Health stuff and all'? Watch your tongue, Chanyeol. I know this isn't easy for you, but damn, neither is it for us!", Xiumin hisses back, feline eyes narrowed in agitation.

Lay, with his usual calm collectiveness when faced with a patient to attend, pulls Baekhyun's head into his lap and settles a hand over his brow. "Could you all please stop snapping at each other? This is going to be dancing on the edge of the possible already. If you keep distracting me, it's certainly going to go south."

"Besides,", he raises his head to stare into Chanyeol's eyes calmly, "it's not like we have any different options, do we?"

Chanyeol tsks in lieu of an answer but otherwise drops his arguments and resumes pacing. Chen tries to reach out to offer him tactile comfort but his hand gets pushed away. No one but Baekhyun himself could calm him down, it seems. Chen refocuses on the situation at hand instead. 

With bated breath the guardians watch as Lay closes his eyes and tries what they've thought was impossible up until now. While Chanyeol is right and their powers have their limits, performing this act of revival right below the tree of life is the best chance they're going to get. If Lay manages to tab into the trees power source, then surely, surely...

Lay shifts his hands, running the tips of his fingers down Baekhyun's head from scalp to chin and then settling next to his temples. The rest of them watches, watches and stares as Lay's hands start glowing. And they glow. They glow and glow and glow and begin shaking slightly after minutes (or hours? Who can say.) pass by. Baekhyun's chest still isn't moving. 

Inhaling deeply, Lay tilts his head back in a way easily recognizable to the rest of them. He's trying to tap into the tree's power. Usually, the tree would start winding roots or branches around whoever asked for aid - the energy is easier to transfer that way. Right now, though? The tree does nothing of the like. The branches stop swaying in the gentle breeze, the leaves becoming completely silent. Adding to the eerie atmosphere that has befallen them.

The tension under the tree could be cut with a knife, even Chanyeol has stopped pacing and worriedly glances back and forth between Baekhyun and the tree. Until Lay finally drops his hands, covered in sweat from head to toe, and breathes heavily as though he held his breath the entire time. While he leans down, he whispers something against Baekhyun's face - too quiet for Chen's ears to catch. Lay presses their foreheads together and then slowly wiggles himself out from beneath the body.

Before Chen can react, he hears a gasp next to him and Chanyeol shoots off to kneel down in front of Baekhyun. "No, no way! Baekhyun, can you hear me?" 

In full disbelief Chen also storms forward to sink down next to Baekhyun. He faintly notices how Suho grabs Lay by the shoulders to support their healer after was undoubtedly the most complicated use of his powers to this day.

Baekhyun in the meanwhile has not only opened his eyes but is also currently wiping the tears from Chanyeol's face. "What's going on? Why are you crying Yeollie?"

Which of course only results in Chanyeol sobbing harder.

Chen catches one of Baekyhun's hands between his own. "Baekhyun,", Chen begins when he caught the other's attention, "you've been dead for at least the last hour."

Baekhyun's face falls slowly, as if he had to remember how to do it first.

"What?"

"Don't you... don't you remember anything at all? Xiumin said he found you on his patrol, but-", Chen stammers, squeezing the hand harder as Baekhyun beings staring off into the distance.

"But you had no pulse", Xiumin finishes for him, leaning over his younger brothers’ backs. "Baekhyun, are you sure you can't remember anything else?"

"How about you let him come back to himself first?", Chanyeol's head snaps around and he glares alternatingly at his two members. At least until Baekhyun tries to sit up and lets out a long gasp of agony.

"Where... are we exactly?"

Chen makes a bewildered eye contact with Chanyeol as they try to stabilize Baekhyun between them, "Baek, we're under the tree of life. You're home".

"Huh", Baekhyun breathes and cranes his neck around slowly. His eyes dance up the bark of the tree up into its crown. Even slower, Baekhyun tries to lift one arm and reach out to one of the branches dangling above him.

The branch, however, flees his grasp as if repulsed by him. Chanyeol catches it with a still furrowed brow and brings it close to Baekhyun, who in turn promptly touches it. As if burned the branch jerks back and turns black where Baekhyun has laid his hand. The discoloration spreads along the branch, twitching as though it's in pain. The leaves start rustling in convulsion. Chen has never seen the tree act like that, much less after touching one of them.

Xiumin, quick as always, reacts first and summons a blade of ice to cut off the branch above the growing discoloration. The still twitching appendage falls with a heavy thud. In a radius around it the roots begin twitching and rearranging themselves, not wanting to come in contact at all.

With an open mouth Chen tears his gaze away and studies Baekhyun instead. It's as though the man's face has turned to stone, nothing but apathy to be read there. "Interesting."

And suddenly, as if the past hours hadn't happened, Baekhyun smoothly rolls to his feet and dusts off his pants with an air of disinterest.

"Woah there, take it slow Baek! You really shouldn't strain yourself", Chanyeol rises next to him, although with far less grace and holds out his hands as though scared the other will collapse at any second.

"Oh, don't worry,", Baekhyun's gaze fixes on Chanyeol, "Lay did a pretty sound job there."

Something is off about his smile, but Chen can't pin it down. Has this quiet intensity behind his eyes been there a minute ago? Why does he look at them like a predator stalks his prey?

A soft wheeze pulls Chen's attention to Lay instead. The healer has braced himself on hands and knees, one hand lifting to cover his heart. Although he had managed to slow down his breathing before, it now seems to get worse again. Suho has started quietly murmuring to him again, gently stroking his back to calm him down. Kyungsoo lets himself down next to him, naturally gifted at grounding people and offers him a shoulder to lean on.

Baekhyun, apparently, has also noticed their struggling healer and coos mockingly. "Aw, poor one. Did you overexert yourself trying to save your friend, huh? You tree huggers are even more pitiful than initially estimated."

And this? This is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Despite all his teasing and shenanigans, Baekhyun would never let one of them suffer without offering help - let alone make fun of anyone in need. So. What if Lay hadn't brought back their Baekhyun at all? What if he summoned something entirely else into their friend's body.

"You're not really Baekhyun, are you?", Chen asks in a low voice. He subtly shifts into a more battle-ready pose and summons a small string of lightning to dance around his fingers. The quiet flickering of the electricity suddenly grows a lot louder as Chen feels a wave of power and relief wash through him. It's the most encouraging signal the tree has sent him all day. 

"Who are you?"

Baekhyun's eyes are widening in pure joy at the open challenge, his smile turning even more manic. "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?"

Before any of them can react, Baekhyun performs a spinning move and summons an orb of unforgivingly blinding light. Chen flinches and covers his eyes, afraid of being blinded even though he was only exposed for a split second. From Chanyeol's pained scream he concludes the others aren't faring any better.

He wills his lightning back down again, knowing far too well how foolish it is to shoot at a target he can't sense in any way.

Kyungsoo, however, does not seem to have such reservations. A rumble goes through the ground as he summons an earthquake. Additional to not being able to see, now Chen can't hold his balance either. While sinking to the ground as carefully as he can manage, he at least hopes Kyungsoo manages to shake Baekhyun off his feet as well.

Instead, he feels the telltale rustle in the air that comes with Kai's teleporting and the light vanishes. Soon after, the world stops shaking and Chen warily blinks open his eyes. But Baekhyun is nowhere in sight. And although Kai is still here, his limbs are entangled with Sehun, the two of them must have fallen into one another when the earthquake caught them all by surprise.

"What? Where is he?", Chanyeol asks while heaving himself off the ground, turning in one direction after the other. Chen would comment on him looking like a helicopter during takeoff if the situation wasn't so dire. “He can't have gotten far in so little time!”

"Guys.", Suho gasps an interjection, "Our tree!"

And sure enough, there is a dark, rotting hole in the tree’s bark. Oozing a dark liquid as if it's bleeding, spreading from where Baekhyun must have made contact. The tree’s branches have drooped as though all life was sucked from them; its roots aren't so much as twitching although some of them are currently squished between two slates of earth in a way that must hurt.

A forlorn no is hushed from Lay's lips. He struggles to push himself upright, but instead just falls back against Kyungsoo's chest. "What have we done?"

"He's gone", Xiumin states grimly. Gaze sweeping over the meadow and through the forest surrounding them. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. If it wasn't for the last hour, one might even say it was peaceful.

Chen picks the pebbles that bore into his skin during the earthquake out of the palms of his hand. "We have to find him immediately. Maybe if we can get that possession or whatever that was out of him, it'll teach us how to reverse the damage."

Kai, who has by now managed to detangle himself from Sehun and pulled the latter to his feet, fetches a holomap from one of his endless pockets and boots it up. With the three-dimensional star map projected in front of him, he walks up to Xiumin. "Show me where you first saw him. Maybe I'll be able to track from where he came - and see if he passes by there again."

Xiumin begins gesturing around the map, trying to point out certain coordinates as precisely and quickly as he can manage. Meanwhile, Chen sees how Sehun rids himself of most things in his pockets and even begins taking off his shoes. Clearly preparing to take flight through the woods for long hours. Searching where the rest of them can't follow him with their larger space shuttles. At least not efficiently.

Chen feels the telltale rustle of teleportation behind his back. The sensation makes him pause for a second. Kai couldn't have teleported earlier, except if he teleported himself into Sehun. Which seems unlikely at best. Yet, Chen is sure he felt the same sensation right now as he did before Baekhyun disappeared. You get familiar with the supernatural surrounding you when you live together, after all.

"Now that we're talking about it, how did Xiumin manage to find Baekhyun? Their routes are nowhere near each other."

Xiumin swivels around: "Are you trying to say this is my fault? That I'm a traitor - or possessed by that whatever-it-is as well?".

"Calm down, Minnie, no one here believes you're an imposter", Suho placates, trying to keep them united even when his own nerves must be lying raw. "What's your point, Dae?"

"I'm just saying, what did Baekhyun even do out there? If he went that far off his actual checkpoints, he must've sought out Xiumin specifically. Do you maybe think that he saw the thing coming and tried to warn you?"

"And when he realized he couldn't he sacrificed himself instead", Suho furrows his brow.

"Just a thought."

"Or,", Sehun pipes up, "did any of you stop and think about whether or not we have the real Baekhyun in general?"

Chen is certain he can hear the grass grow over the silence that descends above them.

"Sehun, what the-?"

"No, hear me out.", Sehun intercepts, "We found a body, that miraculously looked like Baekhyun somewhere he shouldn't have been in the first place. When Lay breathed life back into him, the tree of life did not help at all. Don't you think it would be a little keener to help one of its protectors get back on his feet? The twig that thing touched literally wilted at first touch, there's an enormous hole in the tree - that keeps on growing, by the way."

"And we have no actual means to find out how Baekhyun got where he ended up being", Suho adds on. "Fuck, Sehun, you might be right. This basically reeks of red force, doesn’t it?"

"Did we just bring a red force clone of one of us to life?", Chen asks breathlessly.

"Did said clone manage to escape so that he can now spread the knowledge he gained to his master?", Xiumin comments wryly, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

"We're screwed", Chanyeol exhales as he drags his hands down his face slowly. "If the red force knows where the tree of life stands, how long do we have until it starts attacking?"

"And how long", Lay pipes up from where he lays in Kyungsoo's arms, "until we can't trust each other anymore because we can't tell us apart from any clones."

And truth be told, Chen hadn't even considered that. "You think there are more of them? But how? There is no other Lay, no- no, X-Lay, right? How is that X-Baekhyun supposed to bring them to life?"

"No, I don't think X-Baekhyun can do that. But think of it, if the tree can create guardians, it's not too far off to assume the red force can too. And if it's goal with X-Baekhyun was to simply scout the area and find the tree, there's no reason to send all of its subjects and risk potential fallouts."

"And it comes with the added benefit of taking out some of us as well," Kyungsoo murmurs, stroking a comforting hand up and down Lay’s arm.

"I'm not down, I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"Just don't strain yourself. We still need you."

Suho starts massaging his temples. "That would also explain his quick getaway. If there already is a Kai clone, we can stop wondering how he pulled that off."

"So, what now?", Xiumin stares down the hole in the tree darkly. "The force weakened the tree so now it can come back with the big guns and completely claim it? And all we can do is set up wards and hope for the best?"

Chen doesn’t have it in him to respond in any way. He hasn’t felt this foolish and helpless in forever.

"We might not be completely defenseless", Kyungsoo answers quietly instead. "There's something I've read a… while ago. But it's experimental and I might not remember all the details."

Suho sighs heavily. "I can't say I'm thrilled at the thought of more experiments today."

"It's not like we have a lot of other options, though", Kyungsoo counters. Suho nods in agreement and waves his hand to encourage Kyungsoo to keep talking.

"Simply put, we would essentially split the tree in two. Hide each half in a pocket dimension. Each a mirror world of the other. The same skies over different grounds. The same grounds under different skies. That way the red force can't find it based on where it is now.  Over time the tree could grow and heal itself. When it's strong enough, we'll reunite it again. Until then we have to find Baekhyun, the real Baekhyun. And we best get rid of any clones or other units of the red force as quickly as we can. I'd rather not take any chances here."

Sehun raises a brow in disbelief: "Won't we just make ourselves vulnerable if we split up? What if they find one half of the tree, charge in there with full force and completely destroy that half of the tree? This just sounds like we're presenting the tree on a silver platter."

Kyungsoo heaves a heavy sigh, as if the worst still lies ahead of him. "There's another thing. Due to the split of our current dimension, we will create some problems with space-time. Which means we're most likely not going to be able to get in touch the conventional way. I'm not sure if we'll even be able to contact each other at all. But that also means the force will get separated. It won't be able to reconnect to its other units and neither can it switch dimensions at will. Not unless we can too. The only other way for it to do that is to wait out until the two dimensions have aligned and we merge the tree once again."

Chen isn't sure how many more hits he'll be able to take today. He locks eyes with Chanyeol, who looks back at him with similarly forlorn expression. When he lets his gaze drag over the different faces of his friends, his family, he sees the same silent emotions. In the way Sehun picks anxiously at his fingernails, in the way Suho is again pinching the bridge of his nose, in the way Lay stares up at the trees crown with glassy eyes. In the tear he can feel rolling down his own cheek. 

"This is goodbye then?"

"Yes", answers Kyungsoo, voice barely above a whisper. "But only for a while."

Suho turns away from the group, hands already on his transmitter. "I'll page Kai. We should meet at the ritual grounds. You guys should get a headstart, we won't be far behind."

Chanyeol and Sehun relieve Kyungsoo of his Lay-safekeeping-duties, their taller frames better equipped for carrying around a person. Lay keeps on protesting vehemently that he can walk on his own, but his complaints fall on deaf ears. Neither of them is willing to let go of their friend in what could be the last time for millennia.

Suddenly Chen's field of vision is obscured by a face. Xiumin's worried face. "It will be okay", he promises quietly. "We'll be back together in no time, you'll see. And the tree will have blossomed brighter than ever! Won't that be nice?"

"Yeah, sure it will", Chen snivels softly and tries to muster up a smile for Xiumin's sake. He clearly isn't very successful judging how the grief grows stronger on Xiumin's face as well.

"Just never lose yourself, okay?", Xiumin's finger rise to gently swipe away the tears Chen hadn't noticed rolling down his face in streams now. 

"Just be brave. A new world shall open up."

A/N: And that's a wrap! I took some liberties with the whole MAMA intro, but I hope you guys like it anyway :] Please consider leaving me a comment or a reblog, that would make my day! And if anyone's in the mood for it, here's the link to the EXO-K MAMA mv. Take care, everyone!

-admin j

[isyguess]

Fanfic writer interview

I saw two different versions of this floating around, so I decided to combine the two and pick out the questions that seemed most interesting to me that I wanted to answer. :D

If you'd like to get to know me, here you go! 😊

At the time, mostly Genshin. I am absolutely in gacha game hell, so there might be some works for other gacha games (ZZZ, Arknights, Star Rail) in the works. ;)

What fandoms do you write in?

I will also write for animes or other games, if they manage to catch my interest, though.

When did you start writing?

I've been writing fanfic since I was around 16, and all my first stories have (thankfully) never been posted anywhere. I die of shame from the fact alone that I let my friends read what my brain came up with back then. But of course, everybody has to start somewhere, and I kept writing short stories and drabbles (the actual exactly 100 words drabbles) for years, mostly for Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Bleach and Samurai Warriors 3. Never posted any of those either.

The first one I did post was "Sorry", a Genesis x Reader (FFVII), which I posted on wattpad, because I didn't yet dare to put anything on AO3 because I felt the quality of works on there was so incredibly high. Thankfully I got more confident after this first fic.

How many works do you have on AO3?

13, most of them shorter ones, but I also have three longer works!

11 of them are completed, one is my current WIP and one is abandoned and will never see the light of day again.

Ever since I've abandoned that one, I've decided that I will only post works that I am confident I can finish. I know the frustration of finding a fic you love, only for it to be abandoned, so from then on I decided that I would try my absolute best to finish every single fic I start.

(Maybe that's also just the kind of person I am, I can't start anything new without having the previous thing finished.)

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?

I had to look this up because I had no idea, and I'm actually surprised by the ranking. I don't look at stats, ever. I literally don't care (and it helps that my brain seems to not like numbers in general, haha). I love every single kudos and comment I get, but I don't count them. :)

My top 5 stories are:

1. Turbulences (Kaeya x Reader)

2. Droplets on Heliotropes (Wanderer x Reader)

3. Cinderella Story (Wriothesley x Reader)

4. Paradoxon (Kaeya x Reader)

5. Lithe (Zhongli x Reader)

(Which does NOT represent how good and how popular they are at all, in my opinion xD)

What's your total AO3 word count?

Almost 200 k.

Pretty proud of that, especially since my chapters finally got longer with my last works. :)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

And this answer explains why I don't look at stats. I write mostly (95%) for myself. I tried writing for others, but I've since found out that it is extremely hard for me, that I need to force myself and that the result just won't be as good. Everything I write is 100% self-indulgent. I also can't choose what I want to write, my writing brain has a will of its own and will attach itself to a character, then hold me hostage and make me write down whatever scenarios it comes up with (I do, however, enjoy this :P)

Of course, the best thing that can happen is that readers like what I write, which will motivate me to no ends to continue my fics! 🥰

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always. Even if it takes me a couple of days. If a reader cares so much about my story that they take the time to let me know, they deserve the world (and at the very least my reply to let them know how much I appreciate them ♥️).

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I bought a PC and a very nice, very LOUD keyboard (just the way I like it). It's in a bright room and surrounded by figures of half-naked men (which are ironically not mine but my bf's - he's a huge Dragon Ball fan xD).

I need absolute silence to write, no music, no talking, nothing (except the loud typing).

Which is kind of funny, because I can do my work stuff with a jackhammer next to me, I wouldn't care, haha!

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

A long night of sleep, and sleeping in in the morning - as in, lying in bed for hours, half-awake and dreaming up scenarios. At one point, I will start writing them down on my phones, and then I won't stop for the next 8 hours (if my schedule allows it!)

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

My stories are all emotional as fuck, with one or more characters having to overcome something. I want my fics to have a meaning, to tell a story where something changes (even if it's just porn).

If I include sex, there will most probably be some kind of BDSM involved, as I love exploring the trust and emotions that go into sex where one person allows the other to have power over them.

(I also only write reader inserts!)

What is your reason for writing?

Telling a story, and soothing my writing brain before it explodes, haha.

And, obviously, the love, support, comments and kudos I get from my readers! Even though I write for myself, I probably wouldn't have the determination to finish my stories and the love for the craft that I do without the feedback I get from my readers.

Honestly, I just love, love, love getting comments! ♥️

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm proud of it before I post it. Then, after I posted it and have had time to think about what I did, I hate it and think it's the worst thing I've written so far and I need to forget about it. Around a year later, when I don't exactly remember my writing, I read it again and think, "Damn, this shit is amazing! Did I really write this??"

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, that's easy. It's "Farewell", a Nyx Ulrich x Reader one-shot, where the reader discovers that Nyx (canonically) died.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Okay, this is HARD. All my other stories have happy endings xD

I think it might be "Cinderella Story", just because, compared to others I've written about, Wriothesley is a character that is easy to get along with and that will probably be the most drama-free in a relationship, hahaha.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I've even gotten death threats (that I sadly don't have anymore, because wattpad deleted private messages) because how DARE I put poor Wanderer through such hardships?

I totally took those as a compliment, though, since I managed to get a person so emotional that they went out of their way to tell me in very much detail and quite often that they'd kill me. :DD

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, there's one that I know of. Somebody asked me to translate "Lithe" into Chinese to post on a Chinese forum.

I was really flattered :)

What's your favorite fic you've written?

That has to be "Cinderella Story", because of the huge amount of love that I got for that one and because of a specific situation that involved one of my besties ♥️

[timperi-fan]

Your timperi playlist is so good!!!! I wasn't expecting some of the song choices but they fit so well???? and it was fun trying to guess from wich pov they were and how they fit in the fic's story.

Its a little silly, but I got a bit excited when I played the songs that I already knew, thinking of them in the context of this ship/fic. Like, little talks??? amnesia??? HURTS LIKE HELL???? PLEASE DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME????? I WANNA ME YOURS????? PINK!!! IN!!! THE!!! NIGHT!!!?????

I'm truly obsessed with this playlist <3

Also, Rewrite the Stars being there made me think of that one scene people used to redraw as their own ships when the movie first came out (I think it was Zack Efron and Zendaya's characters first meeting, idk I haven't actually seen the movie xD) and I couldn't help thinking about Timmy and Peri in that scene, someone should draw that *winkwink*

Also! The cover art is really cute, could you tell me where you found it?

(also!! i just saw your new post about ILITAYH and i'm. so. excited!!! -especially for the horniness and the tears ;) )

Link to the playlist.

Thank you so much, anon!! 🥺 I spent DAYS getting that playlist exactly perfect (instead of actually writing the fic, whoops) so I am so glad to see others enjoying it!!

Some songs are from Timmy's POV, some are from both, but most of them are Peri's. He's the main character, after all.

The playlist has a couple of different "sections." The first eight songs fall under Part 1: Brothers, which is all before Timmy lost his memory. Hence why these songs gradually get more melancholy, despite being tinged with hope, as the inevitable approaches.

Part 2: Alone, is... Exactly what it sounds like. These songs on the playlist get more depressing as Peri's explosive grief simmers into a constant state of depression over time. These songs do follow the five stages of grief very loosely — but I have a specific song in mind to fit "acceptance." See if you can guess which one it is :)

Part 3: Strangers, is the part of the playlist where Timmy and Peri meet again, as adults. I don't have a clearly defined point where this bleeds into Part 4: Friends, or a point where it becomes Part 5: Love. I guess that's okay, though! It suits them, because Peri and Timmy couldn't define those stages of their relationship if you asked them, either, lol!

A lot of the songs in the middle of the playlist are more for ~vibes~ than story beats. A lot of the "I don't want to be in love with you" type songs are meant to represent Peri's inner turmoil... But in the fic proper, he's repressing the hell out of those thoughts! He experiences the denial and the self-hatred and the regret all at once, after his relationship with Timmy reaches a point where Peri can no longer deny it :)

The mutual pining part of the playlist is my favorite! See this stretch of songs? ↓↓

These are actually POV switches! They go from Peri to Timmy to Peri to Timmy etc for a while, as they both grapple (or, in Timmy's case, don't grapple) with their feelings. It's so fun having Peri's sadder, longing, soulful songs about desire and struggling to accept that right next to Timmy's upbeat, bouncing songs about how they are perfect together and he wants Peri so bad, haha 💕

Part 6: Together settles towards the end, filled with love songs that become softer as they bleed into the "epilogue" of the playlist, Part 7: Forever.

Timmy and Peri's relationship in ILITAYH will not go this smoothly, ha! Nor will it necessarily end how the playlist implies that it does. But there are some hints in the last two songs as to how the fic will conclude :)

But, yeah >_< I can literally ramble about every single song on that playlist and how it relates to TimPeri. Do not feel silly, anon, I promise that not only am I more deranged about them than you, but I am beyond happy to have someone as excited about this playlist as I am!!

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

June 2024 WIPs*

*fics that will be posted after July 2024 on @sundrop-writes

I am taking a hiatus to move houses and I don't have the time, mindset, or patience to edit fics in order to post them right now. Editing is always the most difficult part for me, so I am saving that for after my hiatus. I may take a short break to rest after the move for my health, so I'm not sure if I'm gonna be back in late July, in August, or later. But these fics are complete, and only need to be edited, so they will be posted on my writing blog within the next few months. Keep an eye there if you wanna see these fics, or you can follow me here if you wanna find out when I am officially back from my hiatus in order to be posting fully again.

I just finished a fic (which I am super excited about) - so I figured I would post this to let you guys know what I have been working on. I have been going through a lot of stress with the move, and whenever I go through stressful times in my life, fanfiction is literally always the biggest mental relief for me, and I have been having so much fun with these fics. Rediscovering my love for TMR and thinking about fanfic ideas for it has helped ease my stress a lot. And my recent TMR fic is something I drafted and wrote in literally 3 days because I was so excited about it and because it was helping me with the stress so much.

Fics that will be posted after my hiatus:

Some Kind of Disaster - Gally (TMR) x Fem!Reader. Friends to Lovers/Lovers Reunited. Emotional Angst and Smut. Set during The Death Cure. 6.5k in counting, oneshot. Finished, needs to be edited. You have every reason to believe that Gally is dead when the last time you saw him, he had a giant spear in the middle of his chest, bleeding out on the floor, still reeling from a Griever sting. So you are shocked when the masked man who just kidnapped you pulled off that mask, revealing himself to be... Gally. (This is the fic I just got finished with.)

Heaven’s Gate - Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Strangers to Lovers/Lovers Reunited. Emotional Angst, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 1 through Season 5.17k in counting, oneshot. Finished, needs to be edited. You and Daryl get separated when the prison falls, and though you both think that the other is dead, you end up finding each other in the most unlikely place at the most unlikely time. And during your time apart, you have always been carrying pieces of each other that you can’t let go of.

Untitled Daryl PWP - Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. PWP/Smut. Set during Season 4. 2k in counting, oneshot. Finished, needs to be edited. Daryl comes to you one day with an oddly needy spark, and though it’s unusual for him, you can’t help but to love it. (aka - Daryl eats pussy like a man starved.)

I do have a few other fics that are mostly done and I need to make one final push in order to finish them, but now I just keep thinking about ideas for TMR fics. I really wanna write a Newt angst fic (or a smut fic lmao). Basically any main character in the series, I would write smut about. Would anybody be interested in that or am I just over here resurrecting a dead fandom by myself??

[angelosearch]

Congratulations on finishing Chaos Theory! To celebrate this happy occasion and all of your works thus far, I chose ten random lines from your stories to see how well you know your own writing. 😉

Who said the line and which fic is it from?

As a bonus, please give us a fun fact or favorite memory about each fic!

"It's been a privilege cooking with you today." "How about you come live with me?" "Please forgive me, Rinoa said this wasn't your style but… I guess I was just being a little selfish." "Do you like Behemoth burgers or are you more of a Thrustaevis wings kind of guy?" "You told me to stop you if you did this again." "I just want this moment. I don't need to know what happens in the next one." "She gets some hot dog before I do? Seriously?!" "You will fix my Rinoa under the threat of death!" "That's why I have to get Chickenwuss off my squad!" "You know I care about you, right?"

This is... LITERALLY THE COOLEST ASK I HAVE EVER RECEIVED!!!! thank you so much 😭 I am so excited to play this game!! Let's see...

"It's been a privilege cooking with you today."

The Weiner Takes it All! These are the lunch ladies in Balamb Garden sadly packing up the hot dogs, per Squall's orders during the Garden Battle. I cry-laughed writing this scene in particular. One of my favorite forms of humor is taking very silly things absurdly seriously and this part of the fic was definitely that!

"How about you come live with me?"

This took me a minute but I think it's from Eyes of the Storm? If it is, Rinoa said this line! That fic remains my favorite of my works. I started writing it as a 5k AU... and then it got three times as long. WHOOPS. I wrote most of it in 4 days and actually pulled two (nonconsecutive) all-nighters working on it because it had that tight of a hold on me.

*goes through the rest of these and comes back*

Wait. WAIT. No, this has to be from The Ballad of Ma Dincht! This is what Muadine says to Zell when she decides to adopt him. 😭❤️ Honestly, I forget about this fic a lot! Not because I dislike it or anything, but it was a very quick piece to write and I published a lot of other stuff around the same time. BUT writing this definitely got me interested in all the other SeeDs adoption (or lack there of) stories. Just more projects I want to tackle.

"Please forgive me, Rinoa said this wasn't your style but… I guess I was just being a little selfish."

This is from August 23, and the line is said by Ellone. I really didn't think I'd have time to write Squall something for his birthday, but this one struck me at the last moment! I guess the fun fact here is that I looked back in my developmental psychology textbook to make sure his characterization at each age made sense.

"Do you like Behemoth burgers or are you more of a Thrustaevis wings kind of guy?"

Haha, awww! A Laguna and Squall bonding moment from A New Beginning! This fic is a Star Wars and FFVIII mashup. I remember watching the last episode of Star Wars: The Bad Batch on Father's Day and thinking that Star Wars is all about family/parents/legacy. Then I was like WAIT FATHER SON FIC WITH SQUALL AND LAGUNA AND STAR WARS LET'S GO!!! I tried really hard to get chapter 1 done that same day but I think I posted a few hours after Father's Day.

"You told me to stop you if you did this again."

Chaos Theory: Rewind, and this is Xu, admonishing Quistis (or who she thinks is Quistis 😏) for being with Seifer. This fic is a spin-off of Chaos Theory entirely following Quistis's perspective. Rewind was supposed to be just a chapter of Chaos Theory but it got too long!

"I just want this moment. I don't need to know what happens in the next one."

Oh damn, I'm not sure! This is a classic Rinoa line, so classic I feel like she could have said this in most of my fics! I feel like it's likely Chaos Theory or Eyes of the Storm. Okay, I think I'm leaning toward Eyes of the Storm, but an earlier quote was that and I don't think you'd repeat fics... UNLESS THE QUOTE I ASSOCIATED WITH EYES OF THE STORM WAS WRONG!!! *goes to correct*

Lmao I already gave a fun fact about Eyes of the Storm but I'll give another one: Rinoa's library job is based on my own experience working in my college's library. I worked there for two and a half years as a circulation desk assistant and then manager, and also as a helper at the research help desk. (Gotta say, learning how to use those research databases to assist other students was a great skill to learn and it's so useful to me now.)

Particularly, there was an instance when I was working as an overnight manager and when I woke up at 3 am to go to my shift, I had an email saying campus was closed due to snow. Now, I went to school in Ithaca, NY, and that place never closed for weather. This was a SERIOUS snow. And because the campus was closed, the library should be closed... but it wasn't. I hiked across campus in at least 2 feet of snow which was still falling. I remember feeling like a Yukon explorer or something, muddling through in the small hours of the morning. When I got to the library, the stairs to the entrance were nothing but a mound and I had to climb it. I had to get the few straggler students to leave and lock up the place... and then, hike back to my apartment and go to sleep at 5 am. I think they reopened campus at noon.

ANYWAY, in Eyes of the Storm Rinoa contends with snow storms while working at the library, something I have very specific experience with 😆

"She gets some hot dog before I do? Seriously?!"

100% Angelo Reverse! Zell is complaining because sad Squall gave the last of his hot dog to sad Angelo as they are both worrying about Rinoa in a coma in the beginning of disc 3. Angelo Reverse is one of my faves because it has so much of my dogs in it ❤️ a lot of Angelo's more playful interactions with Squall are based on how my husband plays with our dog, Duey.

"You will fix my Rinoa under the threat of death!"

Heeheehee, Balamb Harbor Playhouse! Stage!Squall is threatening Stage!Odine in Stage!Esthar, and Squall is in the audience, mortified. I think this was my third fic I published and it was my first try at an all-humor approach. It's the FFVIII version of Ember Island Players (Avatar the Last Airbender). I wrote this fic in a day and I was laughing to myself the entire time.

"That's why I have to get Chickenwuss off my squad!"

Ah, Final Fantasy VIII: The Musical! Seifer is singing the "Gaston part" of the song introducing Squall, which is based on "Belle"! "Look there he goes that guy is cold, no question. / Mean and distant, that’s not all: / Never part of any crowd, / Yet he is strong and proud. / No denying he’s a funny guy, that Squall." Originally the first song in this fic was going to be Selphie singing a version of "I Think I'm Going to Like it Here" from Annie but I decided Squall needed top billing, even though he's not going to sing himself for awhile...

I haven't added anything to this in a long time but I promise you it lives in my head rent free. I have a playlist with all my planned songs and a whole doc outlining it and several songs later in the plot written and ready. I just need to be in a certain mood to work on it!

"You know I care about you, right?"

Quistis trying to talk Seifer down in the Chapter (I want to say 7?) "Live From Timber" in Chaos Theory! In the Chaos Theory timeline, Quistis and Seifer come together because Squall isn't there! Seifer is lonely and lost without his rival, and the feelings Quistis has for Squall in the game sort of shift to Seifer without him there.

Well, there it is! How'd I do? I didn't look at anything but my list of titles... hopefully I got it right! Thanks for this fun trip down memory lane ❤️

[stephsycamore]

Hello friends. Yet another post on a topic literally no one here signed up for but the blog is about my hyperfixation of the month so here we are

I have been reading dramione. I know in my last post i said i was ki da over dramione after a couple of fics because i find the pairing too toxic but i only kinda lied because i have just reread the like 4 dramione fics i found and liked and now i will review them. Technically i have read/started more than 4 but i won't be commenting on fics i didn't like because that isn't fair to the writers.

The first one was manacled. Which i know what a fucking reintroduction to the fandom. But i am no young newbie. I used to read and rewrite A LOT of harry potter fic and while its still fuck jk rowling, she doesn't financially benefit from fic and i heard years ago that she doesn't like fic so. I hope its all a big fuck u to her.

Anyway, manacled. Wow!!! What the fuck???? It has lived rent free in my head ever since. I literally cannot stop thinking about it. If ever i reentered the harry potter fic world let it be known that it would be so i can write fanfic of this fanfic. A couple points - manacled is kinda overly long and would benefit from an editor/beta reader, but I heard senlinyu wrote it on her phone while nursing a baby and just???? Idk what her day job is, but that woman needs to be doing creative writing mfas, writers workshops, residencies, whatever. That is extraordinary creative talent.

I think the first part with hermione in the manor was a bit overly long and too torture porn ish. A lot of the scenes bordered into the unnecessarily gratituous. But overall, it was well plotted, well written, and gut wrenching. The last section takes my breath away

The second fic i read was Remain Nameless. And while i kinda don't love smut (it makes me a little uncomfy) i think remain nameless is a perfrct example of fanfic as a genre. Within fic, there are obviously genres, but there are stylistic elements and things that I think makes fanfiction a genre in itself. Remain Nameless is an exploration of character that goes beyond the confines of conventional or traditionally publish-able story structure. It is too long, too drawn out, too indulgent to be a traditionally published story. If i swap out the names and details in Manacled or Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in love (up next) out, its a probably close to a stand alone novel, but Remain Nameless relies on you knowing and already caring about Draco and Hermione. I don't mean that disparagingly at all, I just think sometimes people don't realize that fanfic should be different from traditionally published novels and that is a benefit of the genre. I think Remain Nameless is great. Its an indulgent, fluffy read that takes two broken people and slowly puts them back together again. Its like a hug in book format.

My next one is DMATMOOBIL!! I loved this one. And the author??? You cannot convince me that this fic was not written by someone with literal years of publishing experience in contemporary romance. No way. Its too good. Not just in a good writing way. Manacled is good in an unfiltered, raw talent way, but DMATMOOBIL is polished. The plot is perfectly structured and then each chapter within that is perfectly structured. I loved it. It wad witty, funny, heartfelt, and exciting. Not sure what more I can say about it. It reads like published fiction both in its polish and readability, and I think of all the fics I read has the best worldbuilding. It is truly exciting to read about the possibilities of magical and muggle science colliding in this book and bringing their world to the 21st century.

The last fic i read was Green Light by SereneMusafir. I thought it was so good but would benefit from being split into two maybe even three books. Green Light features a journalist coming to interview Draco many years after the events of the book, so that kinda complicates splitting it up, but as it stands, the story parts are too vast and thematically disparate to be one book. The first part has Draco and Hermione on an expedition in the desert to find a archeological myth and the writing is extraoridinary. Its poetic and cinematic. But I think at times it all tries to do too much. Like I said, the whole thing needs to be split up but each chapter also needs to be a bit shorter. Again, I don't mean cutting content, but rather restructuring. As it is, I read an incredible scene, but then there's like 5 more scenes of something else, and by the time I'm at the end of the chapter, I've kinda forgotten what amazing prose I read earlier on. Things get lost in this way. Beautiful passages buried.

I think two or three books would also allow each thematic section to be explored better. Idk i thought about this one a lot. I likely will not reread Green Light the way I have reread the others on this list, but other than Manacled, it is the one I think about most. Its the most ambitious plot wise and it kinda got lost in that ambition but I think it has so much potential and was over all very good.

Anyway. That is the end to this book review no one asked for. I will likely not be reading more dramione. So here ends that brief of excellent phase.

[lexosaurus]

Hey, Lexx! Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜

LEXIE THIS IS SO CUTE!

Okay I couldn't narrow it down so I'm adding a 6th fic akjnsdfksjnd. So here's my top 6 fics with some commentary because I'm extra af:

1: Everything Was White: After being accidentally revealed to the public and taken away by the government, Danny deals with the aftermath of his time with the GIW.

Yeah, this won't come as a surprise to many. This VERY angsty longfic sorta marked a turning point for me where I started taking writing more seriously, really looking at plot structures, doing research, interacting with other writers. I went into this with "I'll just do a twoshot cuz I suck and I'm not capable of writing much more," and seeing how far I've come in skill and confidence has honestly kept me totally enamored with this fic. I love that I can see my improvement as the fic's gone on. I've gone back and cleaned up the early chapters, and I can still see a distinct difference. Makes me very happy!

2: Morge: It was a beautiful day outside. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming...a corpse was found in the woods.

This was my first Invisobang fic and also my first (and only? so far?) Outsider POV fic. I loved exploring the perspectives of Amity Park and Phantom from somewhat regular people who don't know much about ghosts. And, of course, writing Danny slowly losing it as the fic went on was a great bonus!

3: Transformation Troubles: A hit from one of Skulker's weapons leaves Danny temporarily unable to transform out of his ghost form. Unfortunately for him, he still has classes to attend.

This fic is just a vibe, honestly. It's a "guilty pleasure" category of DP fics that are few and far between (glitching powers, still has to go to class) but I absolutely inhale any chance I get to read one. College AU, post-reveal MY BELOVED real tea y'all. This basically came from me wanting a niche thing and going, "Fine, I'll write it myself!!"

4: and then he woke up: In his dreams, he woke up in his cell again.

This oneshot is similar to EWW where it's my take on what a realistic GIW recovery might look like. Aka, Danny Has A Bad Time. It's a very sad hurt/comfort fic, but I think it also represents a "level up" in my descriptions and pacing that I've been trying to employ more in recent fics.

5: Black and White Roses: When he died, he didn't get a memorial service. He didn't get the vigil, the flowers, the headstone. In fact, no one even found his body.

Dude idk man I just really love Valerie and Phantom's dynamic. Also, thought it'd be really interesting to write a full ghost AU fic, which it was, because as I was writing it I realized like hey, he'd have a corpse, and corpses are kinda freaky aren't they? Like how would you react if ur ghost friend was like "Hey yeah my corpse is over there." That'd be fucking nuts.

6: Birthmark: “No, it’s…” He trailed off, rubbing a hand over his face. His eyebrows were pinched and he looked almost sick. When he finally spoke, his voice was small. “They’re not tattoos.”

Lichtenberg HC my beloveddddd seriously I love it so much I am SO normal about it. That and Phantom and Valerie becoming friends fics. Literally so fucking normal guys. Just trust me bro.

Yeah 5 and 6 are so similar so I couldn't pick between them hahaha. But this is my current top fave fics!

I'm also REALLY excited to release all the stuff that I've been working on the past year this fall. Not tryna gas myself up here but I've been sitting on so much stuff since last NaNo and I'm just ahhhhh!

[dreamyelectronicmusic]

I'm loving your Wilmon fic so very very much! I was feeling mostly done with YR and all related media and ready to let it go - in a happy, pleased-with-season-3, it's all wrapped up and my hectic job is demanding my attention way - and then it was like your fic just broke through my walls and reminded me why I fell in love with the show and its characters. Your Wille and Simon are so good to each other. Their anticipation and nerves and exhilaration as they begin to reconnect - it's everything.

I was surprised to see it's your first YR fic! I'm curious about your story of finding the show - when did that happen for you, when did you first feel inspired to create this beautiful extension of the YR world?

Aw, thank you so much for this lovely ask, I'm so happy you like the fic! 💜💜

I discovered YR literally on day one! Or even before day one, because I remember scrolling through Netflix’s coming soon page and watching the teaser. I remember thinking it looked like an Elite-type trashy teen show but that I would probably watch it because it’s Swedish (I love Nordic languages). Then on July 1, 2021, at like 10 pm, I was looking for something to numb my brain and YR popped up on the Netflix homepage and I thought, oh I think that's the Swedish show I said I’d watch, let’s give it a try. So I watched the first episode and needless to say it did not numb my brain, I was immediately hooked. But I decided to be responsible and go to bed, and I watched eps 2-4 the next day, and then the day after that was a Saturday and beautiful weather so I went on a hike, and all the time I was trudging up hills I kept thinking “omg omg Wilhelm and Simon are so cute and August is such an asshole omg omg what is going to happen I need them to live happily ever after”. So yeah, I’ve been obsessed from the start 😂

I was never inspired to write fic for it before because I tend to prefer canon to be complete before I write anything, but mostly because I have this weird mental block about reading/writing fic in a different language than the one I consumed the original in. It just doesn’t sound right! (I watch the show in Swedish with English subtitles, so I want fics to also be in Swedish with English subtitles. Yes I know it doesn’t make sense). I guess the inspiration for ‘maybe now’ was strong enough for me to overcome that but tbh it still doesn’t sound right and I have to do weird mental gymnastics to write it 😂

Inspiration for the fic struck very shortly after the show, this is a post I made on March 19:

Ok so who's writing a fic where Simon didn't notice Wille running after the car, or noticed him but couldn't bear to talk to him again, and they have no contact for a year until Wille's decision to give up the crown is made public on his 18th birthday, prompting Simon to reach out and tell him how proud and happy for him he is?

And then I guess I didn’t wait for an answer and wrote it myself!

The inspiration came from the fact that while I love the ending we got and I am so happy that we got it, I do agree with people who think that it was rushed. Given what the first 17 episodes were like, we got the best possible episode 18, but in an ideal world, I would have liked another season, or the three seasons to have more episodes, or the episodes that we got to have a different pacing so that there was more time between the breakup and them getting back together. This is what I wrote in a reaction post after the first five episodes:

If this weren't the last season, I think I'd want them to break up now, take some time apart and get back together after some separate personal growth. But there simply isn't time for that.

One thing about me is that I love it when characters go their separate ways, have some separate growth and find out that they can live without each other, but they just really don’t want to. So in a way it’s a kind of fix-it fic for me.

Anyway, thank you for the ask and sorry I wrote a novel in response!

[celestie0]

Hello queen, you just answered my ask about the Rolex watch worker gojo and Victoria secret reader, and I saw the Noni come up right when I was reading kickoff for the first time and OMG. soo I just binge read the whole series and OMG!?!?! 😈🤭 it was 4:01 AM when i caught up with the most recent chapter, and heheheh🤭🤭 this is gonna be long.

Okay so first, I LOVE THAT ITS FILM MAJOR AND SOCCER RELATED! I played Soccer in middle school and was a defense player, and I was considering being a film major, I love theater and have taken lots of theater classes so theater and film were some of my top choices for university (however I major in something else but that's unrelated to this post) so like yessss the film and soccer themes are just so 🤭😈😍 oh my I was having so many flashbacks to when I participated in those activities and it made me very happy because I really enjoyed those moments of my life.

2nd. so I first actually came across kickoff in September, before chapter 12 was posted. Like literally 1 or 2 days before it was posted ( i didn't realize it had been updated right after I added it to my lists) but it's been reblogged on my profile since then in my to be read lists. And I'm reading like 12 on- going gojo series at the time and still currently (13 now) so when I first saw it had said 11/18 chapters posted - I was like "hmm ima just wait until it's finished since it's close to being done. And with 12 other stories it's a bit hard to keep track of all the notifications and stuff" AND THIS HAD BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO DO BECAUSE EVERY WEEK I WOULD JUST HOVER OVER THE FIRST CHAPTER AND FOUGHT URGES TO READ IT LOL😭

Anyways then I saw that you were sick and had not been writing for a while, so I just sort of pushed it back more, because again keeping track of a lot of stories at once is a bit hectic. (I did not realize you had the story on A03 yet). But anyways it kept floating up in my mind every time I craved new gojo content 😭 but I was fr fighting these urges like "I need another story I'm reading to finish before I start a new one" anyways so this kept going on, I read some of your other one shots and drabbles, and like everyday these urges to read kickoff just grew more and more 😭💀. It also wasn't helping that the authors of the other stories I am reading were recommending kickoff so these urges really grew.

I actually like 2 weeks ago posted on my blog about how I fight urges to read new fics because I have so many at the moment😭

But about a month ago, I was like "hmm, it wouldn't hurt to just take a peak at the first few paragraphs of chapter 1" so what was was supposed to be a peak of the first paragraphs, turned into me reading the whole first chapter. And then I was like "frick now I'm really interested" I mean the last line of the first chapter had me like 😏 😏 when reader said "terms and conditions" I was like woah, what could this possibly be. I was about to click chapter 2, but then was like, "noooo I can't yet, I need another story to finish before I start this one" BUT I WAS SO INTRESTED THAT I CLOSED THE APP AND WENT STRIAGHT TO INSTAGRAM TO TEXT MY FRIEND ABOUT THE FIRST CHAPTER OF KICKOFF, like literally I could send u the ss. LMAO and after I read the first chapter I kept telling my friend about how I'm fighting urges to read the whole series.😭 like I'm not even joking, I think I mentioned it like 5 times 💀 anyways I saw that you said u were gonna be starting the next chapter soon so I quite literally did the sonic meme face😭 the one with the smirk, tongue, and hair being pushed back😭

Soooo yesterday, I was like really craving some new gojo content and finally gave into my urges, I clicked the master list and re-read chapter 1 and then read the whole series and OOP🤭🤪 I was so invested I LITERALLY SKIPPED DINNER AND SKIPED MY UNI WORK BECAUSE I COULD NOT PUT THE STORY DOWN FOR MORE THEN 5 SECONDS😈😭. (I'm so hungry but it's currently 4 am 💀😭) BUT OH MY GAWDDDDDD, as soon as I finished chapter 12 I went back to my messages with that same friend and was just going on and on about the whole series and how I'm currently in a choke hold over it, and then I literally face palmed myself and was like "I'm so dumb why did I wait so long to read this😭💀" (again I could send u the ss of it and me just ranting in the chat LMFAO.) And then I got to the bottom of chapter 12 and saw that you had a A03 for kickoff and I face plamed myself again because with tumblr I'm always jumping between all the authors accounts to check the updates and its hetic like i mentioned above, but with A03 I would have gotten the emails and I'm like "Brooooo I'm so dumb I would have read this a long time ago if I knew that" LMAO

Butttttt Kickoff is so yummy, I love this take on Gojo, probably one of my favorite takes of gojo in a fic, he's so silly and sexy at the same time, when he started to strip I was like "omg when will this type of love find me?!?!" I was giggling kicking my feet when he did all that, then I remembered he had SpongeBob boxers and had a little visual imagine of him doing this with the SpongeBob ones LMAOO. Anyways the way he helps her out in the film event and got more people to go just to make her happy🥺🩵 and then walking with her and telling her to call him when she got home so he would know that she was safe my heart literally was like 🥺🥺🥺🩵 the way he teases her in the earlier chapters and gets like sexual with her before he realized he had feelings for her was so delicious😩😋 the car accident when he showed up and stayed with her🥺, his possessiveness with her is so sexy like I need him bad, reader better then me cuz I would have slept him so long ago LMAO. Also the way he's so supportive of her and her dreams 🩵, and the way he praises her when she tells someone off, is yummy 😏😈 andddd the way she walked off when they were about to do sexy time in the bathroom, reader is a baddie 🤭😈

But yessss I literally love this series! I feel so slow/dumb for waiting so long to read it😭 2 and a half weeks into 2025 and I already have my biggest regret which is not reading kickoff earlier💀😭 I subscribed to it on A03 so now I won't miss an update! But Omg I'm literally in a choke hold over it, it's so good 🩵 I'm so excited for the last batch of chapters 🩵

Oof this got so long, but yes I needed to tell you my rant? (Idk of this is the correct word for this) basically my rant on how im a dummy for procrastinating this series is what im trying to say Lol. But ahhhh I hope you got a little laugh outta this as well 😅😂 ily, sorry this got so long! It's currently 5 am and I will gts now 😂🩵

Me while reading kickoff !

hi love! thanks so much for your ask and i'm so sorry for the late response :'') it's hard for me to respond to everything here but i appreciate you lots for interacting w my works! and i'm so happy you enjoyed kickoff :)

HAHAH wow 12 ongoing series is roughhh idk how you manage that xD if i were you i would not have read kickoff LMFAO. it's funny cuz i'm a long fic writer who hates getting pressured for updates but waiting for a long fic to update is tooorrtuuurrreeeee

oh myyyy i'm so glad it had you investeddd :'') you're so sweet! and the fact you couldn't put it down haha that's the highest order of compliment for an author <3

i'm so happy you enjoy my take on gojo! kickoff gojo is so dear to my heart even though i've been heavily neglecting him recently loool. i adore the little things that he does to make sure she feels seen and safe :) but then he ruins it all by doing something dumb asf LOL.

ayyy its okkk kickoff will always be there and would've always been there had you wanted to read it later :''') but i'm so happy to have you along for the ride now!!! much love <3 hope you were able to get good rest!

[wawamouse]

Hello, I would love to hear anything on "In the Course of Destiny" or "In The Blink of an Eye" but if you don't want to give commentary on those: ⭐star⭐ Any commentary on any of your fics would be pretty cool! If you don't want to do this anymore please ignore. Thank you

Heeeeheeee "In the Course of Destiny" (-_- God, why'd I give it such a long title)! I'm actually working on this wip again after getting a bunch of other fics out of the way, so yay! Hopefully there'll be a chapter update before a year has passed lmao. So close to finishing, yet so far! I've mentioned before I'm pretty sure, but I started this fic completely intending to just write a quick crack fic to palate cleanse coming off writing the "Something Deranged" series. UMMMMM… Yeah, first of all, aside from Miguel crawling through a dryer to escape into another world, it's not really crack at all LOL. (But I guess the dryer portal is very strange if you stop to think about it).

Also, as I've mentioned (whined) before in a wip wednesday post as well as in the author's notes, when I initially conceived of the idea of Miguel hopping to a parallel universe, I was just going to have him hop over, hang out with Carmy for a bit—literally just follow him around after he gets off work—have a yaoi moment, and hop back (+some mild spoilers for ch.6). This seemed a bit too random to me, and because I love plot, I decided to add a robbery element to it last minute. Here is literally the moment I was deciding how to end ch.1, from a DM to a friend who hasn't seen the show lol:

I actually like that I went with the adventure plot, although it forced me to nix some stuff that I'd originally planned to write. In an earlier version, Alonzo works at the pawn shop with Carmy. Their relationship is interesting to me in this series; I think Chico and Torquemada don't think very much of each other in Miguel's original universe and hardly interact, but on the Other Side, Carmy and Alonzo are friends of sorts. I jokingly (to myself up to this point I am sharing it with you all) refer to the Other Side as the Gayer Side also bc one of the things I headcanon (without really writing it that way) is that Carmy—compared to Chico—is more attracted to men (still bi tho). When Miguel shows up out of nowhere, Carmy really just humors him because he's hot.

“This is going to sound crazy,” he says, “But I know you, Chico.” There’s a beat, and then Chico licks his lips, briefly glancing past Miguel like he’s checking for anyone else before he crosses his arms and shifts his weight back on one foot—This shit oughta be good. “Oh, you do?” he says, playful. “‘Cause as far as I’m concerned, you were hiding in the merchandise for the last two hours, and I’ve never seen you in my life. But you know me, huh, chico?”

^ Carmy at this point thought he was being hit on by a hot weirdo.

Also (I don't mention it outright but) the Consuela in this fic is a lesbian, hence Carmy being like "??? She's my what??"

Other tidbits... I talk about it here but I had to physically storyboard the scene where Miguel meets Alonzo because I am so bad at imagining spaces and I was really struggling with keeping that moment in his POV, description wise.

Mentioned this elsewhere as well, but originally, I was going to have Carmy either just go by Carmen on the Other Side or go by Melo (from Carmelo). But that felt somewhat too removed, plus then there'd be two M names to deal with.

Oh, one of the very specific-to-this-fic writing choices I made was to include Miguel's thoughts in parentheticals throughout his chapters. I did this to represent moments he's more lost in his own anguish—maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but there's a lot less of those parenthetical interruptions near the end of his day on the Other Side, and at the beginning of chapter 4, when he's completely at ease. To that end, ch.5, which will be from Carmy's POV, will have no parentheticals. Another thing that I wanted to do throughout Miguel's POV was still flash back to the primary universe, having the stuff that happened there still affect him and torment him lol. I actually really enjoyed writing the angst of all the flashback scenes (writing the Other Side is actually really hard lol).

I think this fic's Miguel is the most tortured post-canon version I've ever written? Mostly because he's so lonely at that point. He's misses Chico a lot and feels more vulnerable to Torquemada while also being incredibly disgusted with himself for exchanging sexual favors for D-tabs (in other fics, I kind of hand wave it and think Torquemada doesn't actually want to get involved / his whole thing is keeping a distance, but in this fic, that's not the case). This fic is also, I think, the most negatively I've written Torquemada? At least from Miguel's POV. He straight up hates him and is creeped out by him, which creates to him the greater contrast of Alonzo, on the Other Side, who is just kind of offbeat but overall friendlier and doesn't cross boundaries.

It's basically thinking about Chico that pulls Miguel into the Other Side, and thinking about Chico that takes him back (not to be gross LOL but I made sure to make the rules of that magic such that the portal opens and takes Miguel if he is in contact with Chico fluids while thinking about escape) (yup, that's the logic) (the blood stain in the concrete counts). He experiences roughly 12 hours on the Other side while several days have passed in the main universe.

Hm, I think Destiny's gotten so big at this point that I don't really know where else to commentate. I'll probably post some more deleted scenes or other tidbits in the future when I've finished it!

But that's a bit of the inside scoop for now!

[ladysomething]

I love everything that you’ve written for F1 so far (you are just the most incredible writer, I could read all of the fics you’ve written a million times and never get bored) but you’ve truly outdone yourself with Where You Go, I Go!!!! I literally read chapter 2 like 4 times last week and I’ve just been counting down the days until I could read chapter 3 (but I pinky promise I do not mean that in a “write faster” kind of way, I mean it in a “I was excited that I audibly squealed when I saw you posted today” kind of way). And ABO is something that I hardly ever read. But you just do it SO well. I LOVE the world you’ve built. And this fic is just SO incredible. I wasn’t sure how you could top the first two chapters, but eek CHAPTER THREE. The way that Charles going into pre-heat prevented any questions about Max and his intentions from getting answered (the tension is buildingggg) and Pierre showing up and Charles getting claimed, oh my god every scene was incredible and I am SO EXCITED to find out where this is going, because I genuinely don’t know what to expect!!! Thank you so, so much for sharing this fic with us!!!

I am a different anon than before, but I was very interested in reading your response about if you found writing long fic to be daunting. Like prev anon, I am a numbers girl, so learning a little about your writing process/philosophy was super interesting!! I have another question if you don’t mind me asking- how do you decide on your posting schedule?! Although I would literally read this whole fic in one sitting, I do love the 1+ weeks between updates because I love getting excited for a new chapter and looking forward to it, but you said in the ask that you were already writing ch6, so I’m curious what made you pick the schedule you did!!

thanks again for sharing this fic with us, we are truly all so lucky to read it!!

ahhh!!!

well firstly I can't take the entire credit for this fic. @saiyanwitcher reached out to me after I wrote Give Me That Fire and offered to beta for me. As we were getting to know each other, she asked if I'd ever consider writing an Omegaverse fic, and I said yes, and here we are. But if there is any reason why this fic is better than the others, it's all because of her! She has spent so many hours brainstorming with me, proofreading, and pulling me back from the edge when I said "I want to do THIS" and she said "girl what" (she didn't really, everything I propose she says "alright, lets figure out how we can make that work").

I'm so delighted to hear you loved chapter 3! this whole fic is sooo different to anything I've ever written, but I LOVE exploring new themes and topics and ideas in fic - you'll never really catch me doing the same thing twice. pushing boundaries is what I love about fic, but it doesn't always pay off, so I'm SO happy to hear that people are loving this fic as much as they are.

as for your question ... which, firstly, like most artists I am extremely self involved, so talking about myself is like my fave thing to do lmao. I will answer literally ANY question you could ask.

but, posting schedule. after many years of trial and error while posting long fics, the thing I've found that works for me is that I need to have a fairly sizeable amount of the story in the can before I start posting. I usually like 5-6 chapters, but, more importantly, I want to know that I have the feel of the story before I start to post, because once I post I can't go back and change things. at about that 5-6 chapter mark, I know that I'm deep enough into a story that the plot is right, the characters are right, and the tone I'm using is right, and then I feel comfortable starting to release it out into the world.

from there, I post a chapter only when I finish a chapter. so I finished chap 6 on Tuesday, and then I worked on chap 3 on Wednesday, gave it to @saiyanwitcher to beta on Wednesday evening, and then by this morning she'd done a final check and I was okay to post.

my own personal goal is to write one chapter a week, with Wednesday being the day I'm always aiming towards. so this week I was actually a little later than my "schedule" because ch 6 was giving me a headache and it took longer to write than I wanted.

at this point, I know roughly how long it takes me to write one chapter for this story (a week), but I also know some of these chapters are harder to write than others so I HAVE to give myself some extra leeway (hence the maximum of 2 weeks).

I hope that kind of explained my thought process and as I said, I'm so happy to answer any questions!

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 3.5.2024

So, Polynya, did you finish the fanfic? Well...sort of? No. No, I guess the answer is actually no.

Last week, I said I had two and a half scenes left, one of which was the epilogue, and one scene I wanted to rewrite. I wrote the scene and a half that were not the epilogue, and then I tried to do that scene re-write. It came out better than it was, but I still didn't love it. I figured I would just go ahead and write the epilogue and then maybe come back and try again. 3/4 of the epilogue went great, and then I just couldn't manage to end it, and got stuck for three days. I went back and tried to re-write that scene I didn't like *again*, and barely got into before realizing that the way I was hoping to make it better did not, in fact. Yesterday, after Much Struggle, I managed to pull together an end to epilogue with is...okay...but I don't love it. So the current state of things is: 107,408 words, and it is strictly speaking, A Whole-ass Fanfic, but with two half-scenes that I hate.

It's really frustrating, because I had a bunch of productive weeks in a row, and my brain has just utterly collapsed on me in the eleventh hour. I've been trying so hard to push it over the finish line, but it's one of those things where I can't just brute force it, I need to somehow have a good idea. I am also so so tired this week. I know, logically, that probably I just need to relax and rest up for a few days and this will be easy to fix when I am feeling better, but it's hard to relax when I have this stupid almost-but-not-quite-done fanfic hanging over my head.

Here are some other stupid facts:

The scenes in question are important and I want them to be good, but they aren't exactly load-bearing, in the sense that nothing else depends on them

I don't even *need* the epilogue, and in fact, after I realized that I end all my Heart is a Muscle fics with people drinking (not on purpose, I'm just unoriginal), it made me want to drop the whole thing on principle (except that I also don't because it's sort of a thematic lead-in to the next story in the series and also Ukitake is there)

The two problem scenes are way at the end of the fanfic. When I do start posting this thing, I plan to post one chapter per week like I often do, meaning that I have literal months to fix these

Chapter 1 is beta'd and ready to go and literally nothing is stopping me from posting it this very second

BUT I don't want to post Chapter 1 until my beta has seen the whole fic because what if she notices something in Chapter 12 that needs to be fixed back in Chapter 1

AND literally nothing is stopping me from just sending my beta the last few chapters with a little note on the scenes I'm not happy with. It's highly possible she might have some ideas! Or just be like "you are insane these are fine"!

EXCEPT I don't want her to see my bad writing that I am embarrassed about

And so, here we are. I am probably going to give it another day or two, and if I can't manage to fix those two scenes, I'll just suck it up and send the rest to her.

I guess I also should re-do the banner, except I don't feel like re-doing the banner. It's....okay. I don't know. I just kind of slapped it together based on a thing we were doing at Art Club. Maybe I don't even want a banner.

Speaking of Art Club, it's March now, which meant there was a new theme at Art Club (nature) and I decided to try to get back into my daily drawing. I think this is possibly what killed my momentum on my fanfic. I am just literally only capable of having one priority at a time, even if it's a little tiny one, otherwise my brain just plays tug of war with my priorities and it's hard to manage either of them.

Anyway, I've been in kinda rough shape for the last few days, but I am sure it will pass. It's got some good bits, but I think I just never really managed to fall in love with this one, and I'm really worried about it getting a cooler reception than I'm used to, since the fandom seems to have quieted down significantly since the last time I posted one of these. On the other hand, I've worked too hard on this to not post it. Also, it's got some stuff in it that had to happen for the series to progress. And maybe other people will like it! Who knows! Not me!!

I had hoped to be able to start posting it this week, but that's not looking likely at this point, so I guess you can have another preview.

--- from Ch 3

"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Rukia pointed out, as she methodically piled her bowl with a heaping serving of everything on offer.

Renji grabbed a big pinch of the shirasu before passing it over to her. "It's fine. I'm not sure when I'll be up for cooking again, so I'm trying to clean out my fridge."

"Oh, so I'm helping?"

Renji grinned. "Sure."

"I love helping! If you need me to take this pickled ginger with me, I could take it off your hands."

"I think the pickles will probably keep for a bit."

"Hmmph," Rukia replied skeptically, and scooped some more into her bowl.

It was always difficult not to just sit and watch Rukia eat, in part because she truly did have an extraordinary talent for shoveling food into her mouth, but mostly because it reminded Renji of why they had come to the Seireitei in the first place, of how lucky he was these days. You have to go to work, too, this morning, he reminded himself, and dug in.

"You know, speaking of helping…" Rukia said a few minutes later, once she'd managed to eat enough to shave the edge of her morning ravenousness. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

The pleasant feelings in Renji's chest abruptly turned cold and gloppy. He frowned, and raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah?”

Rukia looked up at him with her big, stupidly blue eyes. “Do you remember when we talked about how important it was for you to have a comfortable and peaceful recovery from your surgery?”

“I do. I distinctly remember asking you to drop it and not bring it up, again, actually.”

“Right, well, I never actually agreed to that. I think that you should come stay at my house.”

Renji gave her an incredulous look. “Your house? Kuchiki Manor, you mean? Your house that is actually my captain’s house?”

“It’s very nice there, as you know. The food really is very good and we have a million servants with nothing better to do--”

“I am sure they have better things to do, Rukia.”

“--and you can sit in a sunny spot in the garden and I’ll read you books and it will be so much nicer than staying in the Coordinated Relief Station!”

Renji heaved a huge, exasperated sigh. “It’s a nice idea, Rukia, but think about the look on Captain’s face if you even--”

“He said it was okay.”

Renji felt all the blood run out of his face, possibly out of his body entirely. “You asked him?”

“I know you’re only getting it done because he ordered you to. He obviously wants you to do your best to heal up well. He cares about you, too, you know, in his own way.” 

Renji stiffened, his fingers tightening on his chopsticks. “You probably told him the whole story, then? How I broke my arm in the first place?” His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.

“Not the whole thing!" Rukia shook her head vehemently. "He knows you broke it saving me, that's the only important part.”

Renji drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. All he could focus on was the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Why do you always have to do this?” he finally managed through gritted teeth. “I asked you to just leave it, but you never can.”

Rukia shoved out her lower lip. “Maybe if you took care of yourself half as well as you take care of everyone else, I would!” she protested. “Just let me spoil you for a few days, would it be so terrible?”

“Yes.”