#not me just very quickly making an icon border for him

[yoakkemae]

he shrugs as best he can with alma on top of him , ignoring at how alma was poking at his seal. it doesn't bother him that his seal is deteriorating at a faster rate than alma's -- alma's healing time had always been better than his anyway. ( maybe it's selfish of him , but he'd rather be the one to go first. he thinks alma could survive it in a way that kanda could not if their situations were reversed. ).

when alma demands him to watch his back , he nods as alma once again settles against him. while alma's hand runs absently through his hair , his hand absent-mindedly dance across alma's back. he tilts his head down so that his nose could rest against the top of alma's head as he closes his eyes. ( he could never , will never , know peace. but , in quiet moments like these , with alma in his arms , he can come damn close. ).

expression falls dead, eyes narrowing as argument races out against the heat of his emotion , ❝ what, you're just gonna call that self - defense ? ❞ it's only then that he prods at yu's chest, digging sharply into where his mark would stain beneath his shirt. one they share, twisted between salvation and destruction. so few years and his has already shifted, advancing far beyond the one mirrored over alma's own false - beating heart .

a very familiar thread of frustration wraps itself around alma's bones and he withdraws, mouth twisted in a pout. ❝ i know. you're not being reckless on purpose. when i can't go with you on missions, just━ ❞ ignore the hushed thoughts in the back of his mind , ⁱ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᶜᵃʳᵉ, ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵈⁱᵉ, ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʰᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ, ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʰᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ ! ❝ ━ watch your back a little better, 'kay? ❞ all is forgiven. it always is. alma wraps around him and settles, running his fingers absently through his hair .

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

The Blackwood Knight prt.8

Disclaimer: I wrote this because Victoria is a Shakespeare girlie and loves Romeo and Juliet. She also loves Crimson Peak, which inspired the last two parts.

Description: Benjicot resorts to drastic measures to win back his lady's trust and love, having accidentally placed doubt in her mind as to his true intentions.

Part 7

Playlist:

Gold Rush~ Taylor Swift

The Way I Loved You~ Taylor Swift

How You Get The Girl~ Taylor Swift

Adore You ~ Harry Styles

Warnings: female reader. Nothing else I don't think. Robb being an iconic twink with access to the blueprints for Bracken Hall and too much sass for Westeros to handle.

"Let me get this absolutely crystal clear in my mind. You described your union as 'mutually beneficial'!" Robb cried incredulously, striking Benjicot on the shoulder from behind, as he sat slumped onto a desk in the library of his ancestral seat. 

The glow cast by the lit lanterns, attached to the ancient stone walls, cast shadows over his face which bore signs of the deepest distress. 

"It sounds beyond reprehensible when you repeat those words, words which I most bitterly regret. I did not mean them in the way that both yourself and my lady have interpreted them, but it makes them no less acrid when you repeat them." He responded dejectedly, slumping his head once again upon the desk. 

Mumbling almost incomprehensibly so that Robb had to tilt his head down towards his friend to hear him. 

"What can I do to make amends? She hates me. I fear she will never speak to me again." 

Robb cast a contemptuous look at his friend before retorting. 

"You bloody fool. Not only did you make her sound to even my indulgent ears like a prize to be bartered between Houses, but you also did so with the very fiend from whose taunts you once defended her. Can you not see that you have made a shy, sweet girl who loved and trusted you feel as if the one person who she believed cared for her and would protect her above all others was nothing more than a cipher of the bullies she has sought to shield herself from?!" 

Seeing Benjicot's increasingly pained expression, as he roughly gripped his hair in both hands, Robb relented a little. 

"The damage you have done in your carelessness will be very difficult to remedy. You must show her that you love her and value her above all else. Words are not enough." 

Lifting his head, Benjicot's expression became resolved as he turned it to meet his friend. 

"I will, even if she will never again allow me to be in her presence," He struggled to continue, the thought causing him physical pain, "I must at the very least convince her that my love for her was never a lie. I cannot bear the thought that I have only cemented her insecurities. That I have born my own part in making her feel as if I mocked her...just like her contemptuous cousin." 

At this, he began to rise.

"I must see her." 

Perking up at this and slapping his friend approvingly on the back, Robb moved to lift his sword from the table and responded. 

"Glad to hear it. I'll get the Lads together and we can defend your flank whilst you hop over the border and get on your knees to beg your lady for forgiveness, you're favourite past time I know." 

Looking at him with mild irritation, Benjicot rose, placing a firm hold on Rob's shoulder. 

"Whilst I greatly appreciate the support, I must go myself. She's shy and frightened enough of me, after my misdemeanor, and I don't want you and your cronies scaring her off before I can even apologise." 

Laughing at this, Robb retorted smugly. 

"More likely you're afraid of her falling in love with me. Fear not, my interests lie in another direction entirely, but I'll hold off if you are determined. Of course Kermit will be devastated not to have a free shot at a Bracken, but I will assuage him." 

With this, Benjicot nodded at his friend before rising quickly and striding from the room, through the halls of Raventree as he continued to ruminate with anguish on the distressed face of his lovely lady and the part he had played in causing her distress. He would explain that he loved her and valued her above all else. That he meant every word he had said to her. That he would protect, serve and adore her if she would only let him, only forgive him. He would beg for her forgiveness, even if she could never herself love him again. It would be enough if she would only permit him to continue in her presence as a loyal knight.

It had been a day since Y/N had fled from the man she had come to trust and love, the only one she believed had ever cared for her and seen her as more than a shadow in the background of life....mistakenly. After Aeron had carried her back to her quarters in Bracken Hall she had locked her doors and allowed no visitors, barring her handmaiden. 

She spent the intervening hours between that of the previous days events and the advent of night on her balcony, her still pained ankle raised on a cushion on her chaise, as she read of Visenya. She was mentally and physically retreating to the shelter of her room and her books, determined never to open her heart to another person, as she had so foolishly done this time. She was silly to believe that Benjicot could love her for herself, rather than the political promise she could represent for him. She had trusted him where she had never invested anyone else with such trust. She had begun to gain in confidence in her dreams, her beliefs, and in his love, all for it to be shattered in a moment. Her embarrassment at having opened her heart to another person, to revealing herself so freely, where she was always so careful to be a shadowy presence in others' lives, was overwhelming, as she sunk further into her seat and further into herself. 

Wrapped in these painful thoughts, it was a few seconds before she heard a muffled voice calling her name from the direction of the dark expanse underneath her window. Rising carefully from her seat, using the pillars lining the portico of the balcony to balance herself as she moved towards the edge of it, she looked down to see the hopeful and desperate expression of the man she both hated and loved. Seeing her come into view, his face lit up with irrepressible delight, before quickly falling when she began to quickly turn away, book pressed protectively to her chest as she made to retreat to her room. She did not want to speak with him. 

Seeing her retreat, he quickly called out. 

"Please my love, please, I entreat you to let me explain what you overheard in the woods." 

Stopping where she was, she turned and moved once again back to the edge of the balcony. 

Speaking quietly and timidly, but not so much so that he could not hear her, accustomed as he was to listening for her quiet voice, she responded. 

"Please leave, I do not wish to speak with you now or henceforth. I can't understand why you are here now when you have made it abundantly clear that I myself am not what you seek. I would like you to leave."

Taking a deep, pained breath, Benjicot's expression underwent several changes before it became resolute and he stepped determinedly towards the pillar bolstering the balcony from the ground. 

Confused at his movements, Y/N became panicked when she realised he was climbing the pillar, frozen in position. It wasn't until he had swung his leg over the top of the balcony and had landed gracefully that she turned to flee, forgetting her injured ankle in the attempt, causing herself to stumble and hold onto a nearby pillar for support. Feeling gentle hands enclose around her elbows, she heard Benjicot speak quietly near her cheek. 

"Please don't run from me, my love. Your ankle is still injured. Please just allow me to help you." 

Looking down with concern at the ankle in question, he slowly, with great caution lest his lady should be offended, raised her arm around his neck and held her waist, fully supporting her weight so that he could place her on her chaise.  

Distressed to see his lady look away from him, her expression betraying embarrassment as well as displeasure, he knelt before her, bending his head low, before gently, reverently holding her hands in both of his own. 

"I will not disturb you further if you do not wish it, but I must convince you of the truth of my feelings for you and beg for your forgiveness for making you believe otherwise." 

Stopping him abruptly, Benjicot immediately desisted in deference to her speech, so important was anything she had to say to him, even if she meant only to order him away from her forever. 

Speaking quietly, she interrupted him. 

"I already heard what both you and my cousin said of me when you believed me not to be listening. I know that your protestations of love for me were all a ruse and that you were both in league together." 

Benjicot's expression betrayed the deep pain he felt at her response, drooping his head to rest it on her knees. 

"I can never apologise enough, nor beg for your forgiveness enough, for making you believe such a horrific notion. I had never spoken to your cousin of you before that dreadful moment, except when I first had the honour of meeting you. You were never just a bartering tool between us. I would break his legs if even tried to make such a suggestion. I had only meant to convey to him that I would repair the conflict between our houses so that in choosing me as your husband you would not also be choosing to abandon all that you knew. It is my mistake that I so brazenly worded my intent, my love." He added, casting his face down in desperation. 

"I have loved you since I first saw you sitting with your nose tucked into your histories under the Brackentree and have persued your love ever since. I have meant every word I have said to you since, and will continue to prove it to you in any way thay you will allow me."

His lady slightly turning towards him, Benjicot grew at once desperate and hopeful that she would listen to his entreaties, gripping her hands tighter in his as he raised his face to hers, hoping to convey the truth of his feelings in his eyes. 

"You speak very elegantly but I now know that you are so to all ladies and that this charade is not reserved for me alone." 

Reaching out to touch her face before quickly retracting his hand once he saw Y/N move away from him in discomfort, he instead responded. 

"Whilst I would consider myself to be a gentleman, there is only one lady I would traverse miles of enemy land and scale walls to get to." Saying this with a gentle smile, he continued to gaze upon her reverently. 

When she did not respond, he removed a brown leather volume from its place, stashed underneath his cloak. 

"I found this in my library and I thought it might be of interest to you." 

Hesitantly reaching to take the volume from his hand, she examined it before opening it. 

As she did so, he interposed "May I?" Pointing at the book. 

He turned the pages to an earmarked section, coloured with a rich illustration of a knight kneeling in homage before a queen. 

"This tells the story of a knight loyal to his queen above all else, swearing to protect, serve and..." He hesitated "love her for all of his life".

She gazed curiously down at the illustration in her hands as he spoke. 

"I thought you would like to have it, even should you order me away from your presence now. But I should like it to serve as an illustration of the devotion I feel towards you and as a reminder that I will always protect and adore you, even if only as your knight. Without any conditions. Without any expectation for you to love me in return. Just....let me adore you." He faltered staring up at her penitently, anxiously awaiting her response. 

It was a few agonising moments for Benjicot before Y/N raised her hand towards his shoulder, causing him to hold his breath lest he frighten her in his shock. Delicately placing her hand on his shoulder, she placed the other one on his other shoulder, causing him to subconsciously lean into her touch. 

Looking timidly away from him, she began to speak. 

"So you really did not mean that I was a...political tool." 

Leaning further towards her face, he quickly refuted such a notion. 

"I would thrash any man who suggested it. You are my lady, my love." 

Gazing into his eyes searchingly, she seemed to find what she sought in them, and leant her head gently upon his shoulder. 

Shocked, yet rejoicing at her affectionate gesture and in the comfort she seemed to look to from him, he lost no time in wrapping a protective arm around her waist, pulling her into his torso as he held her head gently in his other hand. Closing his eyes in relief, he held her like that for a few peaceful moments, scarcely believing that his love had forgiven him and that she had initiated their embrace. Taking it as a sign of the trust she had reinvested in him to protect her heart as well as her person, he solemnly swore in his own mind to guard it with more sucess than he had yet done as of late.

She pulled away too quickly for his liking, wishing as he did that she could always be so close to him.

"How did you even find your way here with impunity, let alone my balcony?"

Smirking at this, Benjicot threw his cloak dramatically over his shoulder to amuse her with his antics.

"I of course practiced great stealth, opting for a cloak and daggers approach."

Raising a disapproving eyebrow at him but with her mouth turned up at the corner, Benjicot rejoiced to have made her smile and to have amused her.

"In truth i just walked past the Red Ford and straight until i found Bracken Hall, i wasn't too worried about encountering any Bracken men. I'd just run them through if they tried to prevent me from reaching my Love. As far as finding your balcony goes, i was just blessed to see your pretty person upon it....and my good friend Robb also has an encyclopedic knowledge of Bracken Hall, having planned to storm it so many times." He added, slightly sheepishly.

Rolling her eyes at him, lightly swatting his chest.

"You're crazy."

Smirking again he rose to put his arm against the wall by her face, leaning his face towards hers.

"Crazy about you."

"And ridiculous," she added, laughing.

Reaching out to hold her chin gently in his other hand he leaned in further, before whispering in response "ridiculously in love with you", as his lips crashed onto hers, his arm moving to encircle her waist and support her weight as he did so.

Breaking the kiss, he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, gazing up at her as if she were the sun. 

"Can i come and see you tomorrow?" He asked tentatively, unable to fully conceal his fear that she would still order him hence.

"I'd rather you didn't risk your life in such a dangerous attempt. I can always come to meet you."

Frowning at this, he stroked the back of her cheekbone with his nuckle. 

"You think i would allow my darling to cross that distance with an injured leg when i can cross it myself?"

Seeing her blush at his appellation, he smiled and reached forward to increase her blush by kissing the corner of her mouth.

"I think not. I have no fear of your Bracken bannermen. Although I do fear having to inform my disapproving lady love that i've despatched all of them because they tried to stop me from seeing her."

Benjicot walked away from his lady love's balcony that evening, not before blowing her a kiss, and silently rejoicing that she had forgiven him and permited him to remain in her presence and in her heart.

@lovebabe18-blog @poppyflower-22 @ithilwen-blackwood @spinachtz @lady-callisto @twistytimesandthoughts @abookloverlawyerfan-blog @mymoonempress @drwho-ess @dancingbaek @aemondslove @cheendrella

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb I hope you are doing well! I'm hoping that you are resting, cause I know it's a busy week💓

I had some questionssss and I remembered the question I forgot in my last ask

1.are there any younger female idols who have expressed their admiration towards hima?

2. Since hima is short and mingi is BIG how large is their size difference in perspective?

3. I was wondering if hima wore a swimsuit top during the water bomb festivals and did she have any iconic moments from that festival?

4.is there any other brand that hima is a solo ambassador for other than versace?

5.if you had to describe hima's personality as another idol who would this idol be?

6.Have the ateez members ever been annoyed by the completely innocent sounds mingri let out? And have they called them out for that?

Ily bb take care of yourself mwahh 💓💓

Hi sweet! 🥰 Sorry this took so long I was on a bit of a writer's block 🤧 I'm also unfortunately still sick but I actually have a lot of motivation to write now! Again don't feel bad about sending me so many asks, seeing a notification next to my inbox is one of the best parts of my day

• XG members have been quite vocal about their admiration towards their senior due to her incredible range - from heart wrenching ballads to powerful raps - and have actually met her several times during award shows (only to gush about it later)

BABYMONSTER members have met Himari while they were still trainees and were amazed at the fact that YG Entertainment brought her in as the only mentor due to her ability to take care of every aspect of their training; vocals, rap & dance. To this day they continue to develop in part by watching videos of her

IVE's Wonyoung looks up to the vocalist's strength of character, even more so now that she has begun speaking out about the unfairness of this industry, the mental health challenges, the mistreatment, etc. The vocalist has also worked extremely hard to master many aspects of performance, which serves as an inspiration to her

• Height comparison websites have her barely coming up to the crook of Mingi's neck, however something else makes their size difference so impressive because this man is WIDE while Himari doesn't have much muscle mass. If Mingi wanted to wrap around her waist completely, he would need little less than 1 hand and a half

• Hima wore the black 'Greca Border Bikini Top' from Versace, a cropped white long sleeve shirt (which quickly became soaked) and very low waisted pants with the 'Greca Border Bikini Bottoms' showing

While Jongho was being all cute and watering their little Atiny plants, this absolute menace was body rolling just a few steps away and motioning for their fans to throw more water at her (think Mingi...but female version)

This event was also one of the first times that the couple was seen being somewhat intimate with each other since she came over to her boyfriend, pressed her back to his chest and began to dance on him (more like grinding-)

After drinking from one of the plastic water bottles - which looked more like a whole kiss than a simple sip - she teased one of the fans in the front before motioning her forward and carefully dripping some water onto her head

A sensual 'The Real' dance break...that's all I can say, she even had a fake lip piercing for this performance and it was the first time Atiny got a glimpse of the spine tattoo (the tape put over it slipped slightly because it got too wet)

• There was actually a brand that recently lost any possibility of an ambassadorship (you'll find out soon dw). Calvin Klein is slowly attempting to reel her in. Surprisingly enough she's an ambassador for Porsche, Saint Laurent and Cartier

• Jimin! At first Hima was very similar to Yeosang in the sense that she was shy, wouldn't speak as much, and was somewhat naive (still is) but as she opened up more her personality grew to almost mirror Jimin's

• They deeply respect their members so when they're intimate with one another they make sure that most if not all members are out or somewhere unlikely to hear them (in part why they got the airbnb during the group's break). There's been very few instances when they were heard (usually in the changing rooms after concerts) but since it rarely happens no one has called them out on it

Ily too!! I hope your post exam break is relaxing and that you're taking care of yourself, mwahhh!! 😘❤️

[thelunarfairy]

Hey! I just saw on tiktok that a lot of people are dissatisfied with JSHK's current arc, which for me is a surprise since around here people seem to be really enjoying this arc, myself included.

This arc rekindled my passion for the manga and it is so interesting. In addition to showing a little about the twins' past, it revealed that Hanako doesn't remember what happened before, had practically all the most relevant characters appearing, had many cute and happy moments, revealed Natsuhiko's secret, showed No.1's border, revelations about Tsukasa, Hananene moments, Tsukasa's iconic chapter with Baby Nene, the function of the clock keepers, the trial that was hilarious to read, confirmation that Tsukasa (and Yashiro) really travel through the flux of time, we're close to discovering No.1's yorishiro and the twins getting a little closer. This arc is one of my favorites, maybe because it shows Tsukasa a lot- but it's also good to see so many characters interacting. I also saw people saying that the story is lazy, but I don't think so! I'm not an expert on this but in my opinion it is of the same quality as the previous arcs. I also saw people commenting that Aidairo need a rest, and I don't disagree with that part, but that's up to them to decide I think-

It seems like people didn't like that there was a lot of information in the chapters, but honestly, we're getting some answers (a lot of questions too-) but at least it's something

What's your opinion on the recent arc? Because for me this arc is becoming iconic

What I noticed is that the problem is in the way the narrative is going, you know?

When we tell a story we have the plot, which is the main idea, the story itself, and the narrative, which is how the story is told.

For example, JSHK's narrative is slower, it is detailed and important events take more time to be told, but this doesn't always happen.

If you compare the narrative of Yako's arc and number six, you will notice that Yako's arc was very fast, while number six dragged on for many chapters, that is, from the chapter in which Aoi is taken by number six until after the story of the red house, yes, it is still in the arc of number six, which only ends when Sumire is destroyed.

Did you see the difference? That's the narrative. The story may or may not have cuts or inclusions, it will depend on how it will be told.

It turns out that the arc of number one has a lot of important things happening, as you mentioned, but the narrative is very fast. Many things that usually don't happen are happening to make the narrative move quickly.

I mean, when would Teru from the other chapters just let Hanako escape? Or, why didn't Akane give Teru an alibi if he was with him the whole time? Why was Tsukasa suddenly so vulnerable?

You understand?

The narrative is fast, and if it's fast it cuts things, it cuts parts of the characters' basic behavior, the famous script conveniences. This arc should be developed much more in a slower narrative because there are so many important points in the story.

That trial? it was extremely fast, it was a relaxed chapter for an extremely urgent situation. I mean, several students being attacked by supernaturals, school time stopped, the story had a serious tone, so we have that whole scene of Tsukasa facing Mirai, becoming fragile and being captured, we imagine that the guardians of the clock are ruthless. Even Teru was caught.

But when the trial begins, it's simply a set of jokes, it doesn't have the seriousness it should have as the situation called for. That's why people are dissatisfied, because development is lacking.

Did you stop to think that all the people and supernaturals in the school are conscious while time is stopped and those responsible who can solve this are simply saying that Hanako is to blame because he said he wanted to do perverted things?????

Aida is working on JSHK and the spinoff ASHK, so this could be putting a strain on her, BUT, Iro is the one writing, so she's the one developing the story. We also have to remember that sometimes the company asks authors to do this so they can have time to create extra content.

So in short, the arc of number one is going very quickly, it has to go slower to explain these new events, to respect the usual characteristics of the characters and also to give the due seriousness at the right moments.

All the themes that are being covered in the number one arc, baby Nene, Tsukasa's past, Natsuhiko's blood, etc., are important, but they are not being told with the attention and time that they should be.

Did you understand?

I'm loving this arc, it's one that talks the most about the most important themes in the story, but it's going very fast.

[writemyaceattorneys]

GOD 🦆anon You are Talented!!

Legit gave me chills-

DONT MIND IF I ADD ON ;D - 🌌anon

They sould only sputter as wild theories became reality before the small grey screen, the only point of interest being their avatar for the game.

He was sentient. They all were.

No wonder the story would completely derail off the few times they used a walkthrough, how all the start of chapter cutscenes seemed to be so censored. No wonder there were more chapters than what they were told in game - they were told there was 5 maximum per game, not 10. No wonder character dialogue would be so... off, out of character almost, eerie and almost directed towards them.

...rationality decided to pop its head back into their mind, bordering a state of panic from confusion, commenting that maybe they were just seeing things.

It was late at night after all. Trial 10 was taking its sweet time with the pre trial segment with miles and maya seeming to always vy for phoenix's(...? They couldn't decide. Was it for him or them?) Attention.

...right, they'd get through this and save.

It was just another part of the game. The supernatural didnt exist - otherwise it'd just be natural.

"Alright... talk... there's no dialogue options though." They glanced down to where the bottom screen emulator would be.

"Oh no, just use your mic, S/O."

The abrupt text change made them jump. The supposedly "unique" sprite to phoenix's avatar in their game portrayed a gentle look to the side (coincedentlsly staring directly at heir Point of view)

...were they being hacked?

Through an emulator of all things? Using phoenix wright: ace attorney sprites?

No, no...

"You Look worried. Are you alright?"

The air went cold as S/O's hand retreated back from theur pondering, a slow burning whithin not pleasant with the icy air felt as if their emotions were a fever "...You can see through my camera?"

"Of course. Your dressing gown really suits you."

They scrambled to the drawer in their desk with tape in it and tore a piece of paper, quickly sticking it over their laptop's camera.

"What do you want?!" They nearly screamed, but it was hoarse, a whisper.

"Whoa, hey, its alright. I'm no hacker! I wouldn't ever do anything like what you're thinking!"

The sprite took on the iconic shocked expression, as if he had any justification to feel that way.

"Then..." their throat was burning. "What are you, if not a hacker?" Because what or who else could do this? It didn't make sense.

Again, eliminate the impossible whatever remains is only the truth, the very last "normal" case in their playthrough had said.

"Oh, S/O..."

He was looking again. It felt like a reassurance initially when it first came up in 1-3, like things were only going to get better from there, but that sprite seemed to have the opposite effect on that late night.

"You've played enough of the game. You should know."

"The theories in my head are more than impossible right now. You- You're not real. You're just a character."

"Ouch... what about edgeworth and maya?"

"Also characters! What the fuck, just-just explain this already!" They leaned into the computer, slamming their palms down as they took of the paper guard. phoenix -or whatever (...whoever?) That was, shook his head.

"Well, since you've done that... i might aswell state the obvious."

S/O leaned back with a hitched breath and frozen fingertips, awaiting anything but the truth.

"We're all living beings beyond your screen, S/O. Not hackers, nor ghosts. We're alive. And theres a whole world in here."

He was smiling again. S/O was not. Frozen in place, any heat drained from their body led them only to feel the radiation off their laptop.

"I'll keep in touch, hell if I don't-I won't, S/O. I won't."

S/O stayed silent, just taking it all in.

"And hey, maybe one day we could even meet face to face - no more pixels..."

How would that be possible? Something felt wrong just begond the light as the side glancing smile seemed to grow more earnest, but even more so creepy.

"how would that sound? Again, I'll keep in touch. Talk to you later. It's late after all. You really ought to take care of yourself..."

"but I don't mind. I can do it for you if need be."

(Whoops i didnt mean to write this much but uh... heck. I guess i have brainrot. Sorry mod miles /lh i took some of the ideas this au has slowly gathered and just slammed it together.)

I-

🌌Anon this is amazing!!! The way you've taken some of the ideas we've all shared and run on your own to make this is marvellous. I can really feel S/O's fear right here, plus the horror vibe this is giving is beautiful yandere content.

I uh-

Phoenix can take care of me if he wants to 😂😂😂😂😂 also I would be happy for Edgeworth to vie for my attention at any and all times of the day.

Honestly, everything that you anons have sent me is so brilliant and now this has been made from all of the amazing ideas and this is amazing and every single one of you guys are just so amazing.

Am I crying because of the community spirit on this blog? Yes!!!

Do not apologise to me ever for sending in such beautiful writing, I would genuinely pay good money to read this.

[genesisrose74]

Requested by @blanknamed (aka my bestie fr): hihi i saw the matchup and remembered my irl friend sent me these pictures when describing my aesthetic at one point and was wondering if i can have a matchup with someone from dsmp and dr. stone 🥺congrats on 1k too! so proud of you ❤️ you deserve this milestone!

Arielle get over here and let me give you a virtual kiss on the forehead because you’re just the sweetest person to ever grace this earth 😚forgive me for the long wait but i had to put so much into this one because it’s for you!! thank you for always being such a ray of sunshine and for becoming one of my first ever mutuals so long ago — and as a show of my gratitude, i’ll get right into your first pairing, which is going to be with…

I had a literal conflict over this because I think you could be compatible with more than half of the characters in dr. stone (looking at gen specifically), but UGH you and Senku would be so damn iconic together. As much as he’s not intent on becoming romantically involved with anyone, it just so happened that you both had a chance meeting together at the school library — in the modern times pre-petrification, of course. You were looking for a book on the development of radiation powered technology for a history class, and by coincidence Senku was reading the blurb of that very text when you stopped by. When you asked if he’d read it, your classmate simply shook his head and said he just knew a lot about the subject, and soon enough a conversation blossomed from that point.

Y’all talked for two hours. While standing in the same spot. TWO HOURS. And it didn’t even stop there because he realized the time and asked if you wanted to talk more over a bowl of this really good ramen he knew about close by. Senku barely even realized the implications of his offer until much later, since…

He was way too involved in your conversation to notice

He’s never had any interest like that in someone before, let alone has he ever tried asking a person out in general

Everything about you was so interesting to him that he cannot process anything else going on around him and he doesn’t know why

You just feel so different in comparison to his dynamic with anyone else that it throws him off. He’s curious as to why he straightens up when you walk in a room, why everytime you smile at his stupid dry jokes it makes him more confident, why your intrigued questions about his work give him an extra burst of adrenaline. After he comes home late, having fallen asleep in the library while you studied for a test beside him, Byakuya eventually spells it out for Senku in massive bold letters.

No, seriously, he writes it on a whiteboard with a chunky black marker.

“That’s ridiculously far-fetched,” he asserts quickly, trying to push his old man out of the room. “Since when have I ever been interested in anyone in that way?”

“Senku, you waited for her to finish her work. Without complaint.”

And he’s like: oh shit—

But knowing Senku, he still makes some futile attempts to disprove the concept that he could ever be attracted to someone in a romantic sense. Ya know, all that, “science is my only devotion” shit. It lasted for about two weeks, which was the exact amount of time that he tried avoiding you in hopes of seeing if he could in fact continue his routine without your presence next to him.

The bitch still cannot swallow his pride though, so you have to be the one to make the first move — which is about as simple as perfecting Flight of the Bumblebee on a violin. Every time you try bringing it up, it’s like Senku gets a sixth sense about it and is pulled away from you as soon as possible. At some point you just had to corner him in the school lab, hands smacking against the surface of his work table and mouth blurting it out.

“I think we should go on a date.”

He’s kinda impressed at the sheer willpower you displayed in finally getting the question into the air. And as much as he would hate to admit it, some happy nerves shot through his body when it happened. On the outside, though, he simply failed to fight a grin.

“Wanna get food with me tonight?”

And you did :D and it only went good from there. Dates at cafes with comfy chairs and pretty lighting, test runs of new experiments in the middle of the night that Senku calls you to see together, just enjoying the presence of one another in a secluded corner of the libraries you frequent. Even after the disaster that was petrification you’re both side by side, being sarcastic little shits to each other as soon as Senku frees you from the stone; doing new tests to save the world, going on picnics by the river, and constantly being of service to one another.

And then from the c!dsmp, I thought it was only fitting to match you up with…

^^ artwork by SAD-ist on YouTube

Listen, listen: I was considering a more standard/expected approach to this matchup, like maybe c!Wilbur or c!Niki because they’ve both got some major academia vibes. Especially Niki, because damn she’d probably take you to her flower shop and make handmade bouquets for you each day. However, I just think that it would be so perfectly fitting to have you and c!Sapnap together aesthetically. He’s very emotionally driven, always doing something stupid, and he probably hasn’t read a book since L’manburg claimed to be a sovereign nation. Regardless of that fact, he could sit and watch you read a book for hours, even if you didn’t ask him to. Standard case of grounded scholar + impulsive idiot = natural soulmates.

Within the region of the SMP, I imagine you like confining yourself to the libraries filled with ancient texts on the vast history of your home — although taking a visit to Eret’s self-made museum is always a pleasure as well. Niki gets along with you easily enough that you hang out together all the time, and it’s on one such occasion in the early days of L’manburg that Sapnap encounters you for the first time.

Dream had sent him out for scouting duty (which to Sapnap translates into, ‘be annoying to everyone within the walls’), and he’d taken to the edge of the country’s small borders, lounging up high above the trees so that he could see everything below with ease. To his surprise he found you, scribbling away within a ragged old notebook underneath a tree canopy, and wearing the prettiest smile he’d ever seen exist on a person before. You were waiting for your friend to arrive, it seemed, taking the ideas in your head and putting them to paper whilst you sat patiently. He was enraptured with you right away, and as a result he took to teasingly pestering you every chance he could.

Sapnap showed up at least once a week — and when he could, more than that — to slowly learn more about you. He tried staying under the radar of Wilbur when he did, just to make sure none of his endeavors were interfered with or got back to Dream in any capacity. Initially, his presence appeared a pain in your side, but your apprehension ultimately fell at the hands of his ridiculous humor and genuine inquiries as to your likes and dislikes. You knew who he was from the get-go, but it was hard not to find delight in his visits when he made such vigorous attempts to know you.

Although you’re sure he’d already learned it somehow, you told him your name one fateful afternoon, and he’s thought about that moment every day since, marking it as the first day he truly made progress in winning you over.

“You should come up here one day so we can talk normally,” he called out on a particularly overcast fall morning. “Maybe then I can see your face up close.”

You laughed, gazing up at him from the hillside on which you reclined. “You’re ridiculous. That’s not how this relationship works.”

“Mm, relationship? Sounds like you wanna gimme a kiss more than saying anything, hu—ow!”

A pine cone had clipped him in the shoulder harmlessly, chucked with expert aim by your own hand. Despite his surprise, Sapnap couldn’t help smiling.

“If you’re working that hard to twist the narrative and get me up there, how about you just come down instead?”

Without missing a beat the next day, he scaled to the top of the nation’s wall, made his way inside (with very little consideration for his safety), and took your face in his hands.

“You want me to?”

You already knew the implications. “Yeah.”

And he kissed you, then and there. Nice job, Ari!

Navigating a full blown relationship in the conditions y’all were in was not ideal. Sapnap tried everything he could to make sure you were safe, despite his distaste for your mother country and its leaders. After that cleared, though, it was a whole lot easier to be together and figure things out. Sapnap didn’t mind you staying within the walls as much as he initially thought because it reminded him of the first time you met, and so long as he could spend time with you he loved every second. Literally ask this man to do anything with you and he’s in, no matter what it is.

The sheer spontaneous energy Sapnap has inevitably feeds into your own, so while you’re much more contained than the pyromaniac, you have some very notable moments of crazy that are simply unforgettable. It’s honestly super funny to see that infectious life invade your senses, because otherwise you’re a super logical person and love entertaining yourself with the more simplistic things.

You work a lot with Wilbur on record keeping and cartography, but something that you and Sapnap apparently have in common is archery. That pine cone throw was no fluke, and he found that out when you came to visit, a shimmering bow fastened to a stock-full quiver on your back. It’s become a pastime to both ride out into the forest with your horses and practice archery (oftentimes mounted) as a way to let out frustration. If the weather conditions are too abysmal to go and do something outdoors, though, Sapnap likes to fall asleep watching you do methodical work, most commonly with his head in your lap as a fireplace crackles nearby. He’s a huge sucker for that cozy atmosphere, even though he tries to be all tough and badass at other times.

This became a huge ramble because I just think this pairing for you works so well, but I’m praying you get the picture. Sapnap is a flirty, slightly whiny, very protective, and free spirited person whenever you’re around, and he’d do whatever he could to see that pretty smile like the first day you told him your name. He thinks the world of you, and in his eyes your intelligence goes unparalleled.

[peterparker-pickedapepper]

Always You

(Peter Parker/Spider-Man x Stark!Reader)

Chapter 01

A/N: this is set during Homecoming (and eventually FFH) in a universe where Tony isn’t ☠️ bc we don’t acknowledge that trauma here 🙂 also, there are elements from the comics and the older movies, but it’s still in the MCU

———————————————————————

I never meant to find it.

And I wasn’t being nosy either. It was my dads fault, really. Okay so yes, I wasn’t supposed to be in his workshop. But is it my fault he just leaves important things lying around? Mom’s told him to keep it tidy enough times you think it’d be engrained in his brain.

Anyway, the how isn’t important. Not even the why matters. It’s everything that came after.

It was the day my world began falling apart.

The moment I lost all trust—all respect—for the two men closest to my heart.

Now that I know their secret, I don’t see how I’ll be able to look them in the eye. But I’m going to do it. I’m going to keep my head up, act as normal as possible...

And see how long it takes for them to tell me themselves.

———————————————————————

                      Three Months Earlier

“I’m here on the corner of fifth and main, just a street away from the reported sighting of a flying man causing panic among the locals.”

Y/N adjusted her fingers around the smooth base of the microphone, her skin slipping against the hard plastic. It wasn’t nerves causing the dampness on her palms, but excitement. Her eyes flickered from the camera lens pointed in her direction to her best friend standing behind it before easily finding their mark again.

“The large, mechanically winged man has been wrecking havoc in New York’s beloved neighborhood of Queens for the last—”

The ground suddenly shifted beneath her feet with a loud boom, jolting her forward and stopping her report mid-sentence. She twirled around, eyes instantly landing on the sandwich shop across the street.

Or, rather, on the man looming ominously from its roof.

She could only assume it was a man. She’d never seen his face—or any part of his body for that matter—not that his skintight suit left anything to the imagination. But the media affectionately called him “Spider-Man”, so they pretty much filled in the blanks on that one.

She watched as he seemingly surveyed the area. It was always so hard to tell what was going on behind that mask, but every time she saw him she liked to imagine a picture perfect heroic expression etched into handsome features.

It made her disdain for the local superstar a little easier to swallow down.

His head swiveled back and forth a few times, fists clenching at his sides, before he shot one of his webs and disappeared on the other side of the building. She immediately turned back toward her camerawoman, lips pulled into an excited grin.

“This is perfect. Come on.” She wasted no time in scooping up some of the equipment laying at her feet, but stopped short when she noticed the apprehensive expression staring back at her.

“I don’t think I’m really in the mood to run toward danger today.” Her best friend’s bored voice didn’t match the concern she knew was brewing just below the surface.

“MJ,” Y/N all but whined. “We need this story.”

“We need to get ready for next week’s debate.” She muttered, mild annoyance seeping through. “We need to be home in twenty minutes so your dad doesn’t kill us. We need—”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Y/N huffed, tossing the last of the camera supplies into her bag before slinging it over her shoulder.

She turned on her heel, pulling her phone from her back pocket as she moved toward the last crash that sounded a few blocks away. She was getting this story, whether she had to go alone or not. Screw her father’s arbitrary curfew. He was in India for the next few days, anyway.

“You’re serious?” MJ’s incredulous voice echoed from behind her. “What about Liz’s party?”

Y/N’s attention only wavered from the small screen in her hands once she was finished temporarily disabling the tracking feature her dad had not so subtly installed before giving it to her. He didn’t need to know she almost immediately figured out it was there, just like she didn’t need to know that he got a notification every time she hacked into the system.

Her eyes found MJ’s, wide with shock and following something in the sky above. Y/N’s head snapped upward, gaze locking on the flying man who was twisting and turning aggressively in an attempt to kick Spider-Man off his right wing.

“Yes. Very serious.” She huffed, pulse jumping with excitement. “If FRIDAY calls just, please, try to be convincing.”

With that, she spun around one last time before jogging toward the action. She knew MJ’s hesitation was coming from a good place. They’d been inseparable since middle school because they were on opposing ends of the same strong-willed base.

Where MJ was methodical and calculated, Y/N was rash and unpredictable. They were both the type to end up involved in sketchy situations, just at varying speeds and levels of grandeur. Y/N had her father to thank for that.

The iconic Tony Stark was not a pretender. He was who he was, loud and proud. He’d never apologized for it before—not even when he should’ve—and he probably never would. Y/N, on the other hand, had been pretending to be something she wasn’t for more than a decade.

He’d given her a choice when she was old enough for kindergarten. They talked about it, mapped out the pros and cons, and she made a decision. Soon after, she entered the outside world as Y/N Smith. It was the best thing her five year old brain could think of. Plus, she didn’t want her place on the alphabetical rosters to change.

She went to public schools—something Tony never missed an opportunity to mention he hated—and started paving her own way. Right now, that meant she was chasing a super-powered fight through the streets of Queens.

Since landing a highly sought after internship at The Daily Bugle, Y/N’s main priority had been impressing her overbearing bosses. That came with varying levels of complexity, depending on the superhero shenanigans of the month.

She rounded a corner into an alleyway, instantly ducking down when a blindingly bright object whizzed by her head. Her arms shot up in a protective motion as she leaned against the cool brick wall at her side. She remained there, frozen in place with a racing heart, for several seconds.

Something thumped to the concrete only a foot away from her crumpled frame, nearly making her jump out of her skin. She peeked through her arms, still crossed over her head, eyes widening as they landed on a pile of red and black fabric.

The lump groaned and slowly unraveled to reveal Queens’ favorite masked hero. He shook his head, the mechanical eyes of his suit twitching as if malfunctioning. Y/N was stuck in her spot, wide eyes hungrily drinking in every detail they could. Despite following his activity for months now, she’d never gotten this close to the mystery man.

His suit was tighter than she thought possible. It hugged his body in a way that left nothing to the imagination. The rippling muscles lining his torso were clearly visible beneath the thick material. She watched as he sat back on his heels and rubbed the side of his head, shoulders tensing as he seemed to finally realize that she was there.

“Whoa, hey.” Came his breathy, surprisingly high-pitched greeting. He cleared his throat before continuing, a steady hand extending her way. “Are you okay, miss?”

Y/N’s brow furrowed in curiosity, not missing the way his demeanor changed the moment he noticed her. It was like a flip switched. He’d turned on his superhero persona, a process she was unfortunately all too familiar with.

“I’m fine.” The words came out more forcefully than she’d intended, but she was all business now, too.

There was no way she was letting him out of her sight without getting some information. She wasn’t even worried about all the ways her bosses would kill her, she’d beat herself up enough for the missed opportunity. She ignored his hand, dusting her jeans off and hobbling to her feet before reaching for her phone to launch the recording app.

“Can I ask you a few questions, Spider-Man?” She jutted the phone out in front of her, and he took a step back as if the device would somehow hurt him.

The eyes on his mask widened, something she didn’t know was possible. “Oh. I...uh—”

Just then, the ground shook with a massive impact that couldn’t have been more than a block away. It would’ve knocked Y/N right off her feet if it weren’t for the gloved hand that shot out to stabilize her.

“Gotta go!”

By the time his hasty goodbye met her ears, he was gone. It took about ten seconds for Y/N to process what just happened before she took off running in the same direction he’d swung in. She was too far in to give up now. At this point, she’d settle for some shaky footage of the fight. It’d be enough to satisfy her editors for a few days.

She ran out in the street, stopping abruptly as a stampede of people swarmed her. Elbows and shoulders rammed into her sides as she tried fighting her way through the panic. 

“Oh, come on people! Chill the fuck out!” She found herself shouting to deaf ears. 

Maybe it was because she grew up immersed in the superhero way of life, or her bordering on unhealthy need to get some kind of story tonight, but either way she was aggravated by the public reaction more than anything.

She was rarely scared anymore, even when faced with imminent danger. Admittedly, she didn’t have a good gauge for when she might be getting herself into trouble. Another thing she blamed her father for. 

Her eyes remained trained on the sky, watching the fight unfold in mid-air. She cringed as Spider-Man nearly fell off the homemade-looking flying suit. He quickly regained his balance, shooting a web into one of the back engines. It immediately started sputtering as the metal clanked and caught in the sticky substance. 

They were going down, and fast. She knew this was probably her last chance to get any kind of discernable footage of the event, so she reached into her back pocket for her phone. It was at this moment that someone decided to shove into her so hard that she lost her footing and tumbled to the ground. 

A rush of air left her lungs as she hit the asphalt, hard. She couldn’t help but wince as pain shot up both of her arms. There would definitely be bruises she’d need to hide later. Thankfully, at least she ended up near the curb so she wasn’t instantly trampled to death by the screaming crowd. 

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and huffed, wiping away the tiny rocks that were now embedded into her palms. She was about to hobble to her feet and call tonight a wash when her eyes landed on a blueish-purple glow coming from a nearby alley.

Maybe she wouldn’t get any useable footage tonight, but a souvenir would lift her spirits and, hopefully, her credibility in the office. Without wasting anymore time, she stumbled to her feet and ducked into the darkness of the cramped space.

She followed the pulsating light, stopping only when her eyes landed on a small, metallic object. It had a thin silver cage protecting what looked like a gem or rock of some kind. Nothing too crazy, aside from the whole glowing thing. Her brows furrowed with curiosity as she crouched down to get a better view. 

She had absolutely no idea what it was, and she’d seen a lot of weird things in her dads workshop. The only thing she could compare it to was some of the alien technology that’d been leftover from the Battle of New York. She’d run a few stories about that herself, plus saw her dad tinkering with some things since Thor took Loki back to Asgard.

Figuring she could show it to him at the very least, she pulled the end of her sleeve over her hand and grabbed it. She let her bag slip off of her shoulder and quickly unzipped it before sliding the object inside. 

Just then, the sound of screeching metal filled her ears at a deafening volume. She managed to close her bag before covering her ears and ducking against the brick alley wall. The crowd still surrounding the area screamed in horror.

She watched with wide eyes as the huge bird-man landed on the rooftop just a few feet away from her crouched form. It was the closest she’d been to the masked—villain? She wasn’t sure—and he was far more intimidating than she’d first assumed.

His glowing beady green eyes didn’t so much as glance in her direction as he slung Spider-Man over the edge of the building, the tip of one of his wings wrapped around his throat.

An involuntary gasp tore through her chest.

It wasn’t that she was worried about the hero. For one, she knew he was more than capable of fending for himself. It wasn’t even that she cared if he got hurt. He was mostly an annoyance to her, his illusive nature making her job way harder than usual.

But if she knew one thing in this moment, it was that the bird-man was the bad guy, and she couldn’t let him win.

So, she did something really stupid.

She found the closest thing that she thought might actually do any kind of damage—which was, unfortunately, an old bike helmet next to the dumpster—and chucked it at the pair.

It hit one of the metal wings with a pathetic clink and all three of them froze.

Y/N held her breath as the man’s head turned in her direction slowly. Way too slowly. Like ‘I’m going to really enjoy killing you’ slowly.

After that, everything happened impossibly fast.

“Hey! Watch out!” 

She barely had time to recognize the panicked voice before she was flying. Her stomach flipped and she couldn’t even scream, overcome with sudden vertigo. She pinched her eyes shut the second she saw the top of a building and clutched onto whatever was carrying her away. 

If it was the weird bird guy, she accepted whatever evil plan he had. But, if it was Spider-Man, she was going to kill him.

It must’ve only been seconds before her feet touched solid ground, but it felt like an eternity to her. The moment she felt the stability beneath her, she began fighting against her captor.

“Let me go! Oh my god. If you don’t put me down right now—”

“What the hell—ow!”

Once she was free, she staggered away from him with a huff. She cleared the hair out of her eyes and bent over, resting her hands on her knees as she attempted to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding wildly and her stomach was still doing summer-salts.

She raised her eyes to send a withering glare toward the masked man. “Never do that shit again.”

He stared at her—at least she assumed—for a long moment before taking a step forward.

“What the hell was that? You could’ve gotten yourself hurt.” He gestured wildly with his hands, clearly agitated.

“That’s one way to thank me for saving your life.” Y/N ground out, sounding way more bitter than she would’ve liked.

“Saving my—” The eyes on his mask narrowed incredulously. “You did not save my life. All you did was distract me and put like ten other people in danger.”

She couldn’t help but scoff. “Please. Spare me the morality speech, Spider-Man. We both know you don’t bother worrying about people like me.”

Y/N was all too familiar with how superheroes think. When they’re in the middle of a fight, all they care about is winning. They usually have a bigger mission to accomplish. One that doesn’t concern itself with the lives left behind.

“People like you are all I worry about, trust me.”

With that harsh declaration, a heavy silence fell between them. Y/N clenched her jaw tightly, biting her tongue to prevent the floodgates from opening. Spider-Man wasn’t the only one who deserved her hostility toward superheroes, he just happened to be the one in front of her now.

Instead of speaking her mind, she turned on her heel and stalked away from him. At this point, it was late. The sun had set and her dad surely knew she wasn’t home when she promised. She had to accept that today just wasn’t her day and head back for some damage control.

Peter, feeling his chest tighten with regret for the way he’d snapped, followed closely behind her quick steps.

“Wait!” She actually stopped, something he wasn’t expecting, so he rammed right into her back. His hands quickly wrapped around her biceps as she spun around. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I, uh...”

He didn’t know what to say. This was the second time in one night he’d run into her, but he was still dumbstruck. The circumstances weren’t ideal. He thought he’d lost her earlier, but then she had to go and put herself in danger.

He took a step away from her, dropping his hands and rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. He had to remind himself that she had no idea who he was. Even if he did embarrass himself—like he usually did around her—she wouldn’t know it was him when they saw each other in the halls come Monday.

“At least let me get you home.” He insisted, feeling bad that he’d indirectly kept her out so late.

Y/N pursed her lips, immediately wanting to accept his offer but trying not to give too much away. Truthfully, she was exhausted. She just wanted to get home and deal with the fallout disobeying her curfew would bring so she could get some sleep.

“Alright.” She sighed, pulling anxiously at the straps of her bag. She knew this meant she’d have to swing through the streets again, something she wasn’t nearly ready to do.

Nevertheless, she allowed Spider-Man to walk toward her. She averted her eyes as he wrapped an arm around her back and tried not to let her breath catch when his gloved fingers skimmed the exposed skin of her lower back where her shirt had ridden up.

Warmth enveloped her as his proximity settled in. Under his mask, Peter’s face was burning. This was by far the closest he’d been to his classmate. Or any girl, actually. Not wanting to think about it for a second longer, he shot a web toward a nearby building and followed the directions Y/N yelled out.

Within minutes, they landed on the helipad outside her front door.

Peter felt his stomach drop with realization once he let his eyes wander around the outside of the huge building.

“Oh my god. Is this seriously where you live?” He cleared his throat after squeaking out the question, not necessarily wanting to give away his shock.

“What?” Y/N scoffed teasingly. “Don’t I look like a spoiled rich girl?”

“That’s not—I wasn’t—” He didn’t know what he was trying to say, honestly. There were endless questions flitting through us mind at warp speed.

If she lived here, at the Avengers Tower, did that mean she was one of them? And he just hadn’t met her yet? Or did she work for Mr. Stark? But she was so young. He guessed she could be an assistant or something. Maybe she worked for Pepper? Or Happy? Or, she could—

Y/N rolled her eyes, deciding to spare him the embarrassment of sputtering any more. “My dad is famous...like helped form the Avengers famous.”

Peter’s mind went blank. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Cap?” It was the first name to spill out of his mouth. “Wait, can he even have kids?”

Y/N couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her at his assumption. “He totally can, but no.”

“Oh.” The gears of his brain started turning again and realization slowly dawned on him. He felt his throat run dry as his eyes widened behind his mask. “Oh.”

Shit. This was way worse. He couldn’t believe he had no idea who she really was. Sure, she used a different last name at school, but he should’ve seen the resemblance sooner.

“Look, I know you two have worked together.” Y/N sighed, thinking back to all those weeks her dad was gone fighting Steve and the rest of his friends for no real reason. “Can you just...not tell him about this?”

Peter’s brows furrowed in confusion. Why wouldn’t she want Mr. Stark knowing that she’d been with him?

Either way, he agreed, since he had a favor to ask of his own. “Only if you won’t.”

She gave him this dumbfounded look, and he knew he had to elaborate.

“He made me this suit before the whole thing with Captain America, so I thought he would keep giving me missions, but now it’s been months and he won’t return my calls. I’m lucky if I get through to Happy. He doesn’t want me getting involved in this stuff, so...”

It struck Y/N then how weird it was to hear a superhero talk about her family so casually. It didn’t seem possible that the two of them were in the same circles. Sure, she’d practically grown up with a few of the world’s most famous heroes, but somehow Spider-Man was different.

He was local. And elusive. A pure mystery to her.

“What exactly is this stuff?” She thought back to the weird glowing object in her bag, having almost forgotten it was there.

“I don’t know.” Peter shook his head, seemingly defeated. “I thought it was just neighborhood stuff, but those guns...I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Alien tech.” Y/N said without hesitation, although she wasn’t actually positive that’s what it was. “My dad has some in his workshop. It was leftover from the Battle of New York.”

“How does it work?” Peter found himself asking excitedly, easily pushing all the other revelations from this conversation to the back of his mind.

“I don’t know.” She admitted, looking away from him as her chest tightened with emotion. “I’ve never gotten close enough to any of it to see. He likes to keep me out of things too...”

It was at that moment, as a breath of silence settled between them, that they realized she was still in his arms. Y/N’s face erupted with heat and she quickly pushed herself away from him. Once her feet were back on the ground, they both stepped backward to create some much needed distance.

“I, ah...better get back...”

“Yeah, yeah. I have to go too...”

They looked at each other for a few long moments. It was at if neither of them truly wanted to separate, but knew they had to. It was clear, though, that they’d just formed some kind of connection.

Y/N felt something strange—and wildly inappropriate—brewing in her chest. A certain kind of attraction toward the masked hero she’d never considered before. It appalled her, honestly. It wasn’t like she hated the guy, but she certainly didn’t like him. And she had no idea who he was. He could be eight years old, for all she knew.

With that realization, she turned on her heel and stalked down the narrow entrance to the Avengers Tower, her face still burning. She heard the thwip of Spider-Man’s webbing and knew he’d be gone if she looked back. So she didn’t.

She pressed her hand against the touchpad outside the front door and quickly slipped inside once it recognized her prints. She sighed heavily and let herself fall back against the door, the comfort of home enveloping her.

The peace was short lived, however, as she caught sight of her mother waiting expectantly behind the bar to her left. With a glass of red wine in hand, her knowing gaze shifted from the helipad outside to Y/N’s stiff frame.

She took a slow sip, eyes narrowing over the rim of the glass.

“You’re so grounded.”

———————————————————————

let me know what you think!! should I continue this series??

[hopelesshawks]

Congratulations on your milestone!! That’s amazing! 💚

I’d love to get a match up, pls! I’m the textbook definition of a virgo and an INFJ. I’m an introvert who loves staying in rather than going out, bordering on hermit-like, and I need my space to be neat and tidy. My hobbies are writing, drawing, video games, and horror movies, and when I find a new fixation, I dive in completely, gripped by this new piece of media or character til it’s all I think about. I’m great at starting things, but not so great at finishing them.

I’m rather reserved around people I don’t know well, but once I’m comfortable around someone I come out of my shell. I love making people laugh and I can’t help but make the raunchiest jokes. Everyone thinks I’m this sweet soft spoken person until they get to know me, and then realize that’s only half my personality, the other half being lewd and salty 24/7 lol.

But I love with my whole heart and tend to fall quickly, which clouds my judgement and makes me make bad decisions. I love romance stories in fiction, but I’m also on the aro spectrum, which complicates things bc I’m not always good at returning romantic gestures. My love languages are touch, quality time, & words of affirmation, and I’m better at subtle affection. I just want someone to take care of me but also give me my space when I need it.

I hope that’s a good amount of info, I never know what to include lol. Thank you in advance and congratulations again! 💚

Thank you for submitting and for the congratulations ❤️ I’m sorry I took so long to get to this! In retrospect starting my event in the middle of a trip was not the smartest move but what can I say I got excited 💀 but I’m back now and ready to match you up!

I match you with Bakugo Katsuki. This may be cheating because you do have a Bakugo icon rn but I thought of him pretty immediately while reading your description. As loud and obnoxious as Bakugo can be he’s not really the party type and would be very content getting to sit at home with you instead of being around a bunch of “extras” he doesn’t really care about. He’s pretty type A so I can imagine he keeps his space neat and tidy like you like to, and he’d vibe with your hobbies, especially video games (to appease his competitive side) and horror movies (to prove how tough he is, the dork).

Bakugo’s love languages are probably acts of service and words of affirmation, so the overlap works well and it definitely fits into your want for someone who will take care of you but not smother you. Bakugo understands the importance of space and having time with your own head and thoughts, so he’d be good at giving you that while also making sure you’re well taken care of.

I know nobody rents DVDs anymore bc Netflix and other streaming services but bear with me, the idea came to mind and wouldn’t leave 😩

You’re pretty deeply buried into your latest drawing when your phone pings with a text. You wait until you’ve reached a good stopping point before setting the drawing aside and reaching for your phone to find Bakugo’s contact name waiting for you. You swipe the notification open with a smile, only to be greeted by a picture of a DVD in his hands followed by the little dots showing he’s typing. Shortly afterwards your phone pings again with another message.

Ain’t this that stupid horror movie you were tellin me about the other day?

You chuckle at the message, pleasantly surprised he’d remembered. You know you’d rambled a little bit when you’d been telling him about it and had assumed he’d pretty much tuned you out. You quickly send him a text back.

Yep, that’s it. Surprised you remembered

The response is immediate.

Of course I remembered dumbass, I’m not an idiot

You roll your eyes. As much as Bakugo has mellowed out over the years since you first met him when he was just starting as a pro, some things will never change. You’re about to type out a response when you get another message from him instead.

Want me to rent it and come over? I’ll even let you talk through the movie to explain shit if ya want

You smile, touched at the offer, firing off one last response before returning to your drawing until he arrives.

Sounds perfect, I’ll see you soon. Love you

You don’t see his response back immediately but that’s ok. He knows you’ll see it eventually and when you do he hopes it’ll make you smile.

I love you too dumbass. Really glad you’re mine

General Taglist: @ahtsuwu @oikawaandkuroostan @larkspyrr @002opdestiny @black-rose-29 @touyasdollmain @izukiss @moonstormmyuna @fleeinghawks @dnarez @mandalorian-baby-bird

[catbountry]

Glancing over some of my older essays on politics, I’m kind of struck how, despite them not being written that long ago, I feel like I come across as a dumbass, or at least like somebody who thinks they’re much smarter than they actually are. And it’s weird, because most of my views are roughly the same; rather, it’s that I feel the way that they’re articulated comes across as too... I don’t know, smarmy? Smug, maybe? Lacking nuance. Blunt. Like I’m talking down to people. Obviously, this was never my intention, but it’s weird how something that was written while in my early 30′s somehow makes me wince a little... as I rapidly approach being smack-dab in the middle of my 30′s. God, I’ve been in my 30′s for almost 5 whole years now, fuck, where does the time go?

I think being able to come out of the other side of the Trump presidency in one piece has kind of helped add some much-needed perspective, at least for myself. I think the hypothesis that a lot of people who voted for Trump were desperate for some kind of change was proven correct when he failed to be re-elected due to his bungling of COVID, which, funnily (or not) enough, he almost could have looked like he was doing the right thing when he initially wanted to close the U.S. borders... except he’d been trying to restrict travel and close borders so often that of course nobody took such a suggestion seriously. And even if they had? Rich people still would have brought it over, because as we all know, rich people can just get away with all kinds of shit. Of course, once it actually hit, Trump really couldn’t handle the idea of looking weak at all, so instead, it was downplayed, joked about, not taken seriously, even though he’d been briefed that it was going to be really, really bad. And when he got it, and in private thought he was going to die? Well, once he beat it, of course he had to say it wasn’t so bad... even though it killed almost a thousand times more people than the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Most of them were seniors. I think that, as well as a general fatigue and disappointment over the lack of swamp-draining from those who weren’t fanatical devotees, probably sealed his fate. I admit, I wasn’t very sure Biden really had much of a chance for a long time... until COVID happened. But hey, at least we got our stimmy from Trump, right lads?

I’m still fully convinced that Trump never intended to win, and that his run was done purely for ego and financial gain, but his ability to effortlessly bait the media, as well as his unexpected exposing of the sham we all knew presidential elections to be, wound up rocketing him to success. Trump will no doubt go down as one of the most successful conmen in American history, one so slick he wound up conning his way all the way into the White House. The whole thing was like if The Producers was a presidential campaign, fascism included. Granted, I don’t think Trump was ever a true fascist; I think he wanted to be a dictator, but the actual job of being President was a drag. The cult of personality he accrued, however, was the biggest source of narcissistic supply that he’d ever experienced in his entire life. Hell, just being the literal President, the most important person in the entire fucking world, is a hell of a high that I don’t think he’ll ever really be able to reclaim. Trump’s going to be chasing that dragon for the rest of his life. Having “President” in front of your name is a lot nicer than actually, you know, having to be the President. I mean, look at how quickly Obama went gray. A lot of people are convinced Trump will run again in 2024, and I don’t doubt it, but unless something happens that completely throws us for a loop, I don’t see him being able to recreate the, er, “magic” of 2016. Everyone getting to see that, not only was his fanbase capable of having embarrassing public meltdowns just like the le epic triggered snowflake lib Hilary supporters, but that their meltdowns were even more embarrassing, and that they all looked like a bunch of fucking English soccer hooligans during the Capitol siege... well, I think that’s going to put off the swing voters, as well as the moderate Republicans.

Also, that Twitter knock-off founded by Trump’s aide, Gettr, being flooded by gay furries posting Sonic the Hedgehog foot porn? Feels like classic 4chan-style raiding. I approve. It almost feels like we’re healing, even if it’s just a little bit.

But what the fuck did we even learn from all this? What did I learn from this?

I don’t know. It feels like over the time I’ve been on Tumblr, what was once SJW became woke, and being woke has become very normal; so normal, in fact, that fucking massive corporations that use slave labor overseas will change their Twitter icons to rainbow every June because The Gays have become a safe, marketable demographic. On one hand, it’s nice to know that, at least in what I guess is considered the western world, LGBT people are more accepted now than they ever have been. On the other... god, it feels so cynical, doesn’t it? This is all very stream of consciousness, here. I don’t write very much on here since, surprise surprise, Tumblr’s been kind of dead since the porn ban. I still see people post, but it used to be that I couldn’t refresh my dash without seeing dozens of new posts. Now it feels like I refresh my dash and I’d be lucky to see a new post there an hour later. This is why I’m on Discord more. It feels like I have more productive conversations than I ever could on Tumblr or Twitter. Twitter is just... god. It’s like all the worst parts of Tumblr without the parts that made it fun aside from a few memes.

Sorry, I got off track there. The point I was going to make before is that, while I am still very firmly anti-censorship, I’ve managed to put myself in a position where it no longer feels like the stakes are so high. I can relax. I don’t have to feel like I’m on the defense the whole time as somebody grills me over some slip-up. I don’t use Twitter that much. When I do post something in response to somebody, I feel like I instantly regret it. I posted in response to some dumbass spreading a rumor that 4chan’s favorite Simpson’s meme about Sneed’s Feed and Seed is secretly ableist, and I got a response from some dude with an Umaru-chan avatar telling me how he’s proudly racist because he and his friends call each other slurs? Like bro, you’re posting cringe, you’re going to lose subscriber-

I don’t know what I’ve learned yet. Maybe that social media sucks and that chatrooms with friends are the superior way to communicate online. I tried out Telnet recently to go into some random IRC, that was neat. It just feels nice to not have to get into a fucking argument every fucking day over shit that doesn’t matter as much as people thinks it does, to not have to hear about every fucking time the President sneezes or farts. It’s not that there’s no longer anything to worry about; there is. I’d really like to see fellow lefties go after the handful of massive corporations that control the majority of the online experience, who censor not just all the racist white dude grifters in suits who all look suspiciously similar to one another, but us as well. I want to see us raise a bigger stink about the web being santized, sterlized, and gentrified to be friendlier to corporations who only want your precious data and eyeballs. Maybe without the constant distraction of Bad Orange Man, we could make that happen. Maybe.

Or maybe fucking Dream will breathe again and all the fucking children will piss their pants and clog up Twitter, fuck these kids, get off my internet, GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Day 3: “Don’t you dare, don’t walk away from this!”

masterlist

Canon-compliant

The camp is particularly quiet and that sets off alarm bells in Piper’s brain that make up for the silence surrounding her. Grabbing her trusted Katoptris she slowly, cautiously makes her way out of the cabin. The ever-green fields spread out before her, looking undisturbed, but the quiet seems to get louder. Where is everybody? She checks the ridiculous Barbie watch Leo had bought her as a gag gift and frowns. It’s not meal time. The camp should be abuzz with activity, with people going to their various assigned camp duties. The panic increases, buzzes behind her skull, and all of a sudden she is sprinting towards the center of camp, the campfire, the dining hall, the great house. There is no-one.

Her breathing is hard as she stands in front of the great house doors and knocks frantically.

“Chiron? Mr D? Anyone?”

No reply.

She pulls Katoptris from her side and examines the shining blade, begging for something, anything that will show her what is going on. The only thing it reflects is the crease between her eyebrows and the grim line of her lips. Shit. She stumbles to the front steps of the house and collapses, head in her arms and shoulders shaking with fear. What is she going to do? How is she going to fix this? What is she even supposed to fix? Her panic borders on hysteria and it blocks out everything. All she can hear is the blood rushing in her ears. Her eyes refuse to open. She’s only half aware she’s hyperventilating. It is not a mystery then, when she doesn’t notice a being materialise before her.

“Why are you weeping daughter?” A voice like harps, and pianos sings at her.

Piper whips her head up to see the faces of her mother, changing every few seconds. Famous actors, iconic women, Jason, Annabeth, another lady Piper had seen at a mall and instantly fell in love with. The faces continue to shift and change but she is in too much shock to care.

“Mom?” She rubs her eyes, hoping she’s seeing something. It is never a good sign when any god shows up, especially her mother. “What are you doing here?”

“You summoned me, daughter,” The goddess smiles and Piper winces as it physically brightens the world.

“Where is everyone? Why am I alone? What happened?” A dam inside her breaks, hot tears streaking down her face.

“You’re not alone Piper.” That infernal smile is still on her face, “You have never been alone.”

She looks up, confused, incredulous, lost. “What are you talking about?”

“What are you planning daughter? Why do you feel so heartbroken?”

She glares at the goddess, “I’m heartbroken, Mother, because for some reason the entire camp has disappeared, all my friends have disappeared.”

Aphrodite considers her, head tilted, eyes calculating, and then she smiles again and it gives Piper a headache.”No little one that’s not it. There’s something else.”

The demigod growls in frustration and covers her face with her hands. “Please go away if you’re not going to be of any help.”

Her mother ignores her. How surprising. Possibilities run through her head at lightning speed, trying to figure out reasons and angles for this mass extinction. Every single one comes up blank. There is no way a monster killed everyone. This camp survived not one but two wars. Not even an army of monsters could wipe them out. Maybe someone was playing a trick on her. She pinches her arm. Nope she’s still here. Very much real. There is just nothing, and no-one and it is never-ending.

“OH MY!” Aphrodite squeals, clapping her hands as if she’s just won a trip to the stars. “You’re going to do it aren't you? Well, I never Piper McLean.” She grins, “You’ve really surprised me with this.”

“Mom,” She growls, fed up with the goddess’ rambling, “What are you talking about.”

And completely on brand the goddess simply gives another of her neon smiles and says, “You best wake up now daughter. I think i’d like my week’s entertainment to begin.”

And then the demigod is screaming down a tunnel and jerking awake with her heart in her feet and her lungs in a knot. The faint smell of roses hits her and she knows whatever just happened it was not a dream. Quickly she scrambles out of bed, grabbing Katoptris from underneath and sprinting outside. The camp is a live and well and full of rushing demigods, harpies, and nymphs. She takes a deep breath and lets the sound of activity settle her panicked core.

“Pipes?” A familiar voice calls from somewhere. It takes everything in her not to cringe. Instead she takes another breath, this time for courage, and opens her eyes to see Jason Grace jogging towards her.

“You okay?” His brows knit in concern, and the little scar on his lip whitens as his mouth forms a hard line of worry.

“I- I’m good.”

“You sure? You seemed really scared. You burst out of the cabin like something was attacking you… or us.”

She puts on a pretty smile, one that most people fall over, “Promise, i’m all good. Do you want to take a walk to the strawberry fields?”

Jason stares at her for a second longer before nodding, almost to himself. “Shall we?” He holds out an elbow, like the gentleman he has always been.

She almost reaches out to take it, habit pulling at her muscles, but at the last second she steps away. “Uh, no don’t worry. I think i’m coming down with something and i dont want to pass it to you.” It is a flimsy excuse but her mind is still frazzled and she doesn’t have anything better.

They walk in silence for a while, taking in the world around them. The silence has never needed to be filled when they were together and although there are a million thoughts racing through every crevice of her mind, she is still comfortable. It’s a blessing. It’s going to make this a thousand times harder.

“Jase,” She says softly, and there must be something in her voice because his blue eyes flash and he stops in his tracks, turning to her.

“What’s wrong?”

So they’re doing this right here, right now. Okay, she had been preparing for weeks. Pulling an Annabeth with drawn out complicated plans and multiple backup plans just in case.

She takes a deep breath and looks directly at his golden face and lightning eyes. “I think we should break up.”

He blinks at her, blinks again. Stumbles back. “You want to what?”

“This isn’t working anymore Jason. Neither of us are happy.”

“No.” His voice is hard, “No. Do not speak for me. I thought this was working. I thought we were happy.”

She winces, “Jase we don't even know each other. Not really. Our whole relationship is built on-” She is cut off abruptly as he looks at her, and she sees the soul behind his eyes cracking. It is a struggle to keep herself from splitting in half.

“I spent so long trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged, and the one place I felt myself was by your side.” And then he’s walking away, stumbling like his body is struggling to hold him up.

“Don’t you dare,” Piper starts, her voice soft; he freezes on the spot. “Don’t walk away from this.”

He whips around like she slapped him. “I am not the one walking away.”

It shoves a knife in her heart.

“And you know what the worst part about this is? It came out of nowhere. You didn’t even talk to me about it. We don’t even know if we could have tried to make it work.”

She doesn’t have anything to say, she has too much to say, nothing is coming out. He nods once. She makes a strangled noise. He walks away. She doesn’t say goodbye.

Piper Mclean sinks to the earthy ground of the strawberry fields and feels like her heart has a canyon sprinting through it. But there, rolling down the cracking walls is relief. And for this she cries harder.

‘I’m sorry Jase.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags:

@nishlicious-01 ​

@leydiangelo ​

@spoopylucy ​

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums, I finally do a video on one of my very favourite artists: Gary Numan! And I’ve started with a not-so-obvious choice, his second solo album, Telekon. What makes Telekon so great? Click and find out! Or read the full transcript, which is below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, we’ll be talking about Gary Numan for the first time in this series, and most definitely not the last. Telekon, Numan’s second LP under his own name, is not a particularly obvious place to start tackling his enormous legacy, but I chose it partly for sentimental reasons: while I can no longer remember exactly what my first vinyl record purchase as a teenager was, there’s a solid chance it might have been this copy of Telekon. But, that aside, Telekon holds a pivotal spot in Numan’s discography, in that it’s basically the last entry in his very brief “imperial phase.” 

Numan’s first major hit was, of course, the unforgettable “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?”, the main single off of his second album with Tubeway Army, 1979’s Replicas. Replicas was a bit patchy and stylistically diverse, a snapshot of the artist emerging from punk rock, and just starting to meld that with electronics and forge something new. Later in ‘79, Numan followed it up with something more cohesive: his arguable masterpiece, The Pleasure Principle. This album would pull no punches in its attempts to blast you onto your back with its synthesised screeches.

Music: “Films”

But, where to next? While all of Numan’s music is distinctively “him,” he’s also never been one to get too comfortable in any particular style. If The Pleasure Principle was Numan leaning into the punk side of Replicas, and tracks like “When the Machines Rock,” then Telekon represented a return to the dark and ominous atmosphere of tracks like “Down in the Park.”

Music: “The Aircrash Bureau”

While The Pleasure Principle had been defined by its buzzing, gritty walls of texture, Telekon tracks like “The Aircrash Bureau” emphasize eerie, whining synth lines, and create a sense of delicate frailty with traditional instruments like viola and piano. Where The Pleasure Principle strove for a busy and full sound, bordering on overwhelming, Telekon is bleak, hollow, and haunting. But aside from its sound, “The Aircrash Bureau” doesn’t necessarily push new conceptual and thematic ground for Numan, being narrated by the titular entity, a hopelessly mysterious force of death and chaos that seems to threaten us listeners. Equally gothic themes pervade the rest of Telekon, including its lone single and opening track, “This Wreckage.”

Music: “This Wreckage”

In 1980, Numan also released two other singles, “We Are Glass” and “I Die: You Die.” These standalone A-sides were clearly intended to be part of the “Telekon era,” as their sleeves prominently feature Numan in his iconic black-and-red leather jumpsuit, like the album does. They were initially absent from Telekon, though--at least, before some releases added them to the tracklisting. I like a big hook as much as anybody else, but I can still appreciate the commitment to ambiance and crawling, slow-burning song structures on Telekon proper. Thanks to the dominance of slower-paced material, the more strident moments feel well-earned--as on “Sleep By Windows,” the track usually cut for “I Die: You Die.”

Music: “Sleep By Windows”

While it’s easy to praise the artistic integrity of Numan’s aversion to including those singles, it was certainly a somewhat bold career move. But Numan was more or less on top of the world at this point--and he’d been hitting the top of the pop charts, with both Replicas and The Pleasure Principle becoming number one albums. If he was a bit cocky, that was understandable...and it ended up paying off for him in the end, at least this time, with Telekon also achieving that number one spot. But Telekon would prove to be Numan’s last LP to do so. While there’s never one clear reason why an artist falls out of the spotlight, it’s hard to listen to Telekon without coming away with the impression that Numan was a bit tired of his sudden and unexpected fame, which had swallowed him up when he was hardly a legal adult. “Remind Me to Smile” stands out as a track whose lyrics seem to embody Numan’s desire for relief from so much public scrutiny.

Music: “Remind Me to Smile”

“Remind Me to Smile”’s strikingly upbeat melody seems to embody the titular request, putting on a stilted facade of emotion despite the misery expressed in its lyrics. Numan’s diffident demeanour and social awkwardness, which he later learned to attribute to autism, undoubtedly made his life difficult. His personality also contributed to his perception by the masses as robotic or alien, almost as much as the futuristic themes of his art, grounded in his lifelong interest in science fiction. The much-beloved track “I Dream of Wires” is one of his most famous dystopian narratives, spinning the tale of an elderly electrician who’s lived to see himself become obsolete, in a high-tech world with no more use for his skills. With its chorus ambiguously referencing “new waves,” it’s tempting to interpret it as an expression of Numan’s own fears of the world of music continuing without him someday.

Music: “I Dream of Wires”

The cover of Telekon is dominated by this bold black and red colour scheme, its criss-crossed stripes evoking the straps of Numan’s aforementioned jumpsuit without actually portraying him wearing it. The artist’s disembodied head appears to be floating, with a sort of ghostly halo behind it, adding to the album’s spooky feel. Equally mysterious is the expression on Numan’s face: his head is slightly tilted, and his eyes seem to drift away from meeting our gaze as viewers, which might be read as a symptom of his characteristic shyness.

While the title “Telekon” doesn’t particularly mean anything on its own, it seems to be derived from the word “telecommunication,” and could be interpreted as an outgrowth of Numan’s established association with things technological. Telekon is often concerned with ways of communicating with others, as on “Remind Me to Smile.” Phone calls are prominently mentioned on several Telekon tracks, as well as the aforementioned single "I Die: You Die." “Please Push No More,” perhaps the album’s most desolate moment, is anchored by what seems to be a call from a telephone booth.

Music: “Please Push No More”

After Telekon, Numan made yet another bold move: embarking on a “Farewell Tour,” and declaring his intent to retire from giving his much-lauded live performances. However, he quickly reneged. His next two albums, 1981’s Dance and 1982’s I, Assassin, saw him vary his sound even more drastically, adopting influences from jazz and funk. They also saw him decline ever further in relevance and commercial viability. To this day, Telekon is usually considered the last truly great album Numan made for a long time. I’m not a huge fan of his early 80s followups myself, but I do think that they’re at least a bit unfairly maligned. I’d challenge the notion that their stylistic shakeups came “out of nowhere,” and point to Telekon’s increasing emphasis on groovy basslines as a hint of where Numan would decide to go next. 

Music: “Music For Chameleons”

My favourite song from Telekon is its closer, “The Joy Circuit.” While Telekon has a lot of pretty dejected-sounding tracks, “The Joy Circuit” seems to send us off on a more cheerful note, with a dramatic finish bursting with violin and viola. It’s tempting to see it as a sunbeam, parting the gloomy, grey clouds of the rest of the album...but Numan doesn’t let us off the hook that easy. The final line of the song, and hence the entire album, is “all I find is a reason to die,” which is a hell of a way to close the book. With that, I have to end my video--thanks for watching!

Music: “The Joy Circuit”

[chillyravenart]

Thoughts on Seara Targaryen?

I've mentioned this briefly here but let me add a few more of my thoughts.

I feel like Saera is treated like some faultless feminist icon in the fandom (how surprising lmao) but let's be absolutely real here: she was a spoilt, headstrong princess who was never going to cave into societal/parental pressure. I’m personally not a fan at all but I want to list a few things about her personality and upbringing that may be of some use in understanding her better. Forgive my rambling in advance!

Princess Saera, three years younger, was a trial from the very start; tempestuous, demanding, disobedient. The first word she spoke was no, and she said it often and loudly. She refused to be weaned until past the age of four. Even as she ran about the castle, talking more than her siblings Vaegon and Daella combined, she wanted her mother’s milk, and raged and screamed whenever the queen dismissed another wetnurse. “Seven save us,” Alysanne whispered to the king one night, “when I look at her I see Aerea.” 

Not to forget, George loves hitting characters where it hurts and that's through their children. And George went in particularly hard with Jaehaerys and Alysanne's children. I absolutely adore the older bunch, Aemon, Baelon, Alyssa... but the younger bunch didn’t exactly speak to me the same way. I suppose with so many children, it was natural to have a few bad eggs, and Saera was one of them. Jaehaerys spoilt her as child and she grew up to be very bright but also had a cruel streak too. 

... and long before she was half-grown, Saera had learned the art of getting anything she wanted from her father: a kitten, a hound, a pony, a hawk, a horse (Jaehaerys did draw a firm line at the elephant). Queen Alysanne was far less gullible, however, and Septon Barth tells us that Saera’s sisters all misliked her to various degrees.

The border between innocent pranks, wanton mischief, and acts of malice is not always discerned by one so young, but there can be no doubt that the princess crossed it freely.

Septon Barth also commented on Saera’s disposition, and her hunger for the attention her older siblings received:

“She is the king’s daughter, and well aware of it. Servants see to her every need, though not always as quickly as she might like... If she were the king’s firstborn, or better still his only child, she would be well content. Instead she finds herself the ninthborn, with six living siblings who are older than her and even more adored.”

Saera pranked her sister Daella with cats and bees, dyed the KG cloaks pink, and would show up drunk to the sept for prayers. And since Saera had every whim granted to her, it's natural that she would want more from the world and succeeded in carving out her own kingdom across the Narrow Sea. I definitely don't think she would have been content with living a normal life in Westeros, married to some lord and running his house.

“She wants what she wants and she wants it now,” Grand Maester Elysar wrote of the princess in 69 AC, when she was only two. “Seven save us all when she is older. The Dragonkeepers had best lock up the dragons.” He had no notion how prophetic those words would be.

At fourteen, she told the king she meant to marry the Prince of Dorne, or perhaps the King Beyond the Wall, so she could be a queen “like Mother.”

By fifteen, Saera had other ideas however.

Why dream of distant monarchs when she could have as many squires, knights, and likely lords as she desired? Dozens danced attendance on her, but three soon emerged as favorites. Jonah Mooton was the heir to Maidenpool, Red Roy Connington was the fifteen-year-old Lord of Griffin’s Roost, and Braxton Beesbury, called Stinger, was a nineteen-year-old knight, the finest lance in the Reach...

And initially it was Queen Alysanne who voiced her dismay regarding Saera’s behaviour with her newly acquired suitors. “Saera is clever, but not wise” and she also criticised her choice of female companions as well as Beesbury/Stinger who was rumoured to have sired a bastard. However Jaehaerys brushed it off unconcerned that she would get up to any mischief at court with so many watching eyes. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

Then came the incident at the Blue Pearl with Tom Turnip, and her three favourite lordlings (including Stinger who later fought Jaehaerys in his trial by combat) which made matters worse. I highly doubt any other noble lord would have been ok with his daughter cavorting with household knights in a brothel- least of all a KING. When questioned about her actions, Saera really didn’t do herself any favours:

I could marry all three of them, why not? Why should I have just one husband? The Conqueror had two wives, and Maegor had six or eight.” She had gone too far. Jaehaerys rose to his feet and descended from the Iron Throne, his face a mask of rage. “You would compare yourself to Maegor? Is that who you aspire to be?”

After the horrors Jaehaerys and his siblings had endured under Maegor, it’s no wonder he was so shaken by her blase attitude. And again, Alysanne was able to soften his anger and reconcile him to forgive Saera, but she ran away that very night and tried to steal a dragon which sealed her fate.

Alysanne wept when she heard, for she knew her cause was hopeless. Jaehaerys was hard as stone. “Saera with a dragon,” was all he had to say. “Would she have taken Balerion as well, I wonder?”

One of my favourite aspects of this whole saga was Jaehaerys fighting Stinger for her honour, "This old man," just takes me out every single time. Forty-nine year old Jae, taking out nineteen year old Beesbury just reminds me too much of Daemon vs Aemond - WHY ARE FORTY-NINE YEAR OLD TARG MEN SO BADASS?

I also understand that Saera was a plot device to add filial conflict to Jaehaerys’ reign, after all a successful king doesn’t always make a successful father. Jaehaerys was the quintessential medieval monarch with a kingdom to run and keep in order after a very volatile period and Saera was a royal princess and expected to uphold those standards. As Grand Maester Elysar put it, “He was better with roads than with daughters.” I think Jaehaerys had his flaws for sure, but again, this is asoiaf and I really don’t understand how people expect paternal relationships to be as open and affectionate as they are today- seriously look at how fatherhood has evolved in the last fifty years alone and tell me a medieval king would have been braiding his daughter’s hair and having heart-to-hearts with her. He could have done more to understand her, but then we wouldn’t have this embittered storyline and everything would be hunky-dory. That’s not how GRRM works unfortunately.

I am certain Jaehaerys had loved her as a daughter, and her actions had caused him pain which had hardened his heart at the time. But it is also apparent later on that Jaehaerys was hit hard by this event and also mistook Alic*nt for Saera on his sickbed. I also feel heartbroken for Alysanne who lost so many of her children and felt Saera's loss very acutely too. She also became withdrawn and was clearly shaken by all the losses she had endured.

The years had taken their toll on him, and those who knew him well said that he was never the same after his daughter Saera had disgraced and then abandoned him. He had grown thinner, almost gaunt, and there was more grey than gold in his beard now, and in his hair.

The Old King sometimes mistook her for one of his daughters, calling her by their names; near the end, he grew certain she was his daughter Saera, returned to him from beyond the narrow sea.

Anyway I am glad Saera got to set up her own empire and lifestyle (Hot Girl Saera ™), she is arguably the first Targaryen entrepreneur of sorts too. She is most certainly not the feminist kween this fandom treats her as IMO, raise ya standards! Ultimately I wouldn't say I'm a fan mainly because her character didn’t appeal to me, particularly when I read Fire and Blood. Besides, Saera’s domain lies outside my circle of interest and I'm more concerned with what happens to subsequent characters in Westeros.

Hope that answered your question!

[sweetpeaownsmyheart]

I think I’ll call you cupcake  (Sweet Pea x Reader)

Hi guys!! This is my first piece of writing  so feedback is always welcome as well as constructive criticism! Also I want to give massive thanks to @riverdaleimagines1 who inspires me so much and also gave me confidence to post this! I love your work and will continue to gush over it to you whenever I can <3

Word Count - Around 4000

Warnings - Some mild language

Summary - Sweet Pea meets a girl who may be too much for him to handle. Both parties soon learn that people sometimes aren’t always the hard person the show on the outside.

-----

When living near the border of the North of Riverdale and the South, you grow up with 2 rules.

1.       Don’t go out at past 11 unless you’re with enough people to fight off an angry mob

2.       NEVER cross the line without protection unless you want to be, well, dead meat?

Well you grow up with these rules, if you live on the Northside, rumours are that on the south it’s always go out past 11 to scare Northsiders and turn them to, well, dead meat.

So, as you wander home unarmed and alone at 11:30, taking the shortcut through abandoned streets, an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach and you wished you had taken Betty’s offer to stay the night.

While you were certainly no damsel in distress and knew your way around a knife and human anatomy enough to do some damage, it didn’t lighten the situation. With your phone reaching its last couple of percent and a chill forming in the air. Your desire to be home, safe and warm, was increasing as well as your pace – so you made the decision to cross into the Southside taking a shortcut over an overgrown bridge.

You didn’t believe the rumours of course. You were from a rare brand of Northsiders who genuinely didn’t care about where people were from and didn’t stereotype however that didn’t stop your fear as you crossed the bridge to a land which was still relatively unknown to you despite your friend, Jughead, living there. Although he only became your friend when he recently moved back to Riverdale high bringing all the serpents with him, you were very close to him.

‘Stupid and Reckless’. That’s what your dad would call it. Coming home late with no protection, no weapons and taking the shortcut through the southside? Yes, ‘Stupid and Reckless’. You could practically hear the words leaving his mouth even though home was a distant thought at this point, your mind more focussed on weaving through the streets preying you remembered the way jughead showed you last time you walked with him.

You knew your dad hated the shortcut, despite living on the northside, he didn’t hate the southside either, he just didn’t like the thought of you getting hurt, but it was serpent territory and being friends with Jug had its advantages plus the streets are usually deserted at this time of night anyway. So, you continue to walk keeping a tight grip around yourself to try to maintain the heat that was seeping away as a steady rainfall began.

At that point, slowly becoming more cold and wet, you really began to regret your decision not to have an impromptu sleepover with Betty. You debated your decisions. You could keep walking home or you could turn and go back to Betty’s. Both options would take about the same time and neither sounded particularly enjoyable knowing it would take you at least 25 minutes to reach your destination even if you ran.

A third option came into mind but was quickly replaced by the sound of motorbikes approaching. You were frozen to the spot (literally because the rain had you shivering and metaphorically because your brain couldn’t process what was happening) but as the bikes rounded the corner nearest to you, you jumped out the way, falling and scratching your hands on the rough ground.

As the bikes drew nearer you noticed the iconic serpent on the jacket and felt a bit more at ease despite not knowing who was under the helmet, at least these guys had morals and you hadn’t had an unfortunate run in with some ghoulies who decided they wanted more terf. Your anxiety spiked and then declined as a bike pulled to a stop beside you and the driver was revealed to be Jughead as he removed his helmet.

‘Y/N?’ He questioned getting off the bike. ‘What are you doing here? It’s almost midnight. You must be freezing, are you freezing? Come here.’

He fired off more questions barely breathing between and not giving you time to answer before smothering you in a jacket he pulled from the back of his bike and pulling you up from the ground. Then he became quiet and looked at you expectantly.

‘Huh?’ You were confused having barely heard his questions over the sound of rain hitting the ground.

‘Are you okay?’ He practically shouted back at you.

‘Yeh, yeh, I’m fine! I was coming back from Betty’s and decided to take the shortcut and then my phone was close to dying and it started raining and I couldn’t quite remember whether I had to turn left of right but then I heard motorbikes and now you’re here. And by the looks of it my hands are bleeding, but I’ll be fine once I get home.’

Jughead almost giggles as you get caught up in telling your story, but he quickly gains composure and grabs your wrist to look at your damaged hands. ‘They’re covered in dirt Y/N/N and some if it is IN your hands, come on I’ll get you cleaned up and take you back home in the morning’

‘Jug you really don’t have to, I’m almost home anyway and my dad thinks that I’m coming back so I really should go’

‘Y/N really? You need medical attention! I’m not just letting you go home without it because I know that you won’t do it yourself. Please just come with me, I’ll text yo..’

At that moment, the sound of another motorbike fills your ears and it too pulls to a stop besides you and Jug. The guy on the bike removed his helmet and you could swear a ‘holy fuck’ left your mouth which was met with a cocky smirk on the unknown guys face, although that may have just been him.

‘Who’s this Jones? Another one of your Northside girlfriends? Didn’t peg you as that type.’ The boy said with a scowl as he took note of your hands still in Jugs.

‘Piss off Sweet Pea, she’s just a friend.’

‘Yeah whatever Jones, I should have known that 2 northside princesses was too much of a miracle for you to swing…’

‘I do have a name you know.’ You piped up only to be ignored by the 2 boys. Jughead pushed you behind him when he saw Sweet Pea’s attention turn to you as you spoke.

‘What Jones? Scared we will corrupt her like we did your other one?’ Sweet Pea remarked noting the harshness that had appeared in Jug’s eyes and staring him down.

‘Damn, you could cut the sexual tension here with a knife.’ You say attempting to alleviate the awkward silence. It didn’t work. ‘Well if you do decide to jump one another I think I’d prefer to be going actually. I’m cold and wet and frankly can’t stand the amount of testosterone here.’ You say stepping out from behind Jughead and turning towards him. ‘Thanks for the jacket Jug I’ll give it back to you tomorrow yeh?’ you say before quickly making your escape.

As you began walking away you could hear hushed arguments behind you but were unable to make out the words until Jughead called your name.

‘Y/N, hey wait up.’ He shouted jogging up behind you. ‘your hands, they’re still bleeding. Please just let me clean them up.’

‘No Jug, I’m fine really. I just want to get home.’

‘And I want to clean your hands. Quicker you agree, quicker I can get you somewhere warm.’

You narrow your eyes at him but eventually reply, ‘fine but only because I know you’ll have a tantrum if things don’t go your way.’

At that point, the mysterious boy, he was called Sweet Pea if you remembered correctly, returned to your view with a questioning look on his face which quickly morphed into the pretentious smirk which he wore before.

‘What’s wrong with the princess, got her head too far up her ass to accept help from a snake like you? Not surprising for someone who thought it would be a good idea to come on our terf flaunting her northside self’ He asked harshly.

Jug went to reply but at that point you had had enough of him speaking for you so you cut him of turning to Sweet Pea and darkly responding, ‘you would know wouldn’t you?’

For a flitter of a second a look of shock passed over Sweet Pea’s face before it was replaced once again by harsh eyes and an unwavering stare which pushed you to continue.

‘Well you spout all this bull about how us Northsiders spend all our time judging you guys and looking down at you, but you, well you do the same to us.’

‘Y/N now is not the time please lets just go’ Jug whispered in your eyes grabbing your arm trying to get you to his bike. But you pull away and continue.

‘You’re such a hypocrite. Every time I see you around school you’re glaring. You can’t stand to be around people who aren’t from the Southside, but you don’t even take any time to get to know any of us. We’re not all horrible people you know. We don’t all hate you because of where you’re from you know.’ You get closer to him as you speak pointing accusingly at his chest. ‘We aren’t all made of money and good grades, some of us work hard for it so you can piss off with your superiority complex cupcake.’ You finish with a sickly-sweet smile.

You’re barely apart, staring up at him. Both of you are breathing deeply at a loss for words. You stop for a second and for the first time really take in the boy’s face. His brow is furrowed, and you want nothing more that to reach you and smooth it. His eyes are still dark and stare into your soul. The smirk that was still present on his face did not however reach the cold eyes but if you really looked you could see understanding, confusion and hurt? You’re stare morphed into a look of panic.

In different circumstances, you could have admired him forever but as quick as you were there, you were gone. Stepping back from Sweet Pea and turning to Jughead who offered one word to you.

‘Shit’

-----

You weren’t an idiot. You knew the reputation that Sweet Pea held. You noticed how he was never without one bruise or another and how even bulldogs would whimper when he walked past. You were aware what he could do to you so last night after your out of character outburst you ran. You ignored Jughead’s calls behind you, you ignored his phone calls later that night as you were cleaning your hands and you proceeded to ignore the voicemails that were left on your phone.

So, as you walked into school the next day, with bandages around your hands, hood up and headphones in, you wanted nothing more than to be at home. Slipping through the hallway you kept your head down and eyes on the ground dodging people and getting to your locker with no trouble.

As you reached your locker you look up and are met with the kind eyes of Betty who you wondered if she knew about the events of last night. Evidently not as she asked what had happened to your hands. You passed it off as an accident, which it was if you really think about it, but elected to avoid the topic of how it came to be and why you were practically hiding compared to your normal outgoing self.

Your mumbled explanation was cut short as Betty exclaimed, ‘hey don’t look now but one of the serpents is staring you down.’ You froze. Your will to disappear was stronger than any words that may soon be sent your way by him but as you turn your head to confirm your suspicions on who it was, you were surprised to be met with a blank stare rather than one filled with hate. 

-----

As the day went on, your overwhelming sense of dread lessened, and you went back to your normal self. You were no longer looking over your shoulder in fear of where the tall serpent was instead focussing on your friends and classes.

Betty, Veronica, and you were sat chatting in the student lounge at lunch that day when Jughead walked in and straight over to you. You quickly scouted the room for any other students and were met with the sight of Toni and Fangs approaching – lucky for you, Sweet Pea seemed to be elsewhere.

‘Y/N, what the hell. Why didn’t you answer me, I was so worried. You should not have left. you know how dangerous it is on the Southside. If something had happened to you what would we have done’ Jughead began ranting and pacing in front of you. You kept your eyes cast downwards ignoring the gazes of your friends which filled with worry as Jug continued. ‘And what were you thinking? You shouldn’t have said that. You really shouldn’t have.’

At that moment, Fangs, who you knew vaguely through your friends interrupted Jug. ‘Wait. You’re the girl who insulted SP?’ You held your breath waiting for the impacts of last night’s events but instead were met with laughter. ‘superiority complex, cupcake’ he choked out between giggles.

‘Damn girl, you must have a lot of guts to go up against Sweet Pea.’ Toni continued.

‘Wait, you insulted Sweet Pea? Do you have a death wish?’ Betty seemed exasperated yet still trying to maintain her cool. You shrugged in response before getting up.

‘Well Beanstalk will probably be here soon and as much as I love being subject to glares and I certainly wouldn’t mind taking the role of Jack and climbing the hell out of him, I think I’m going to head out. Bye guys.’ You say before turning and leaving hearing the distinct laughter and then voice of Fangs in the back – ‘She called him Beanstalk’.

-----

You had finished school for the day and were just heading out ready to walk home when you spotted Sweet Pea by the school entrance. You quickly did a 180 and began heading back to the other end of the corridor but you had already caught his eye and he began following you. While last night you were pent up with anger and had the support of Jughead behind you, now you were alone with no idea how events would play out.

‘Hey, Y/N wait.’ You heard from behind you. There seemed to be no malice in the words, yet it still caused your stomach to turn. ‘Y/N please just wait.’ He was louder now and probably gaining on you so you decided to bite the bullet and turn around.

‘What do you need Sweet Pea. As much as I’m sure you love my company, I do have things to do.’ You try a sweet approach hoping he wasn’t too angry.

‘Got somewhere to be?’ You nod slightly. ‘The exit is that way not this way.’ He had seen you making an escape then. You remain silent. He continues.

‘You’ve made quite a change since last night. What no comeback? Not going to insult me anymore’

‘If that is all you have to say I think it would be better for me to go.’

‘Wait no. Sorry. It is not like me to apologise, I don’t do it, you tell anyone, and you will receive hell princess.’

‘Wow hell of an apology that was.’ you respond sarcastically before turning to walk away again, you were now done with his attitude and all thoughts of what he could do to you were gone.

He looks at your retreating figure quizzically before calling after you. ‘I’m sorry I was a dick okay I just don’t like people coming onto our ground and flaunting their worth to us.’ You cut him off.

‘Flaunting our worth? Flaunting MY worth? You know nothing about me. So, don’t you dare paint me as the bad guy for taking a bloody short cut when walking home. You’re the one who insulted me, I just told you the truth for once in your goddamned life. Accept it, move on.’

He seemed quiet and his response shocked you to the core, almost whispering he apologised once again. ‘I am really sorry. It wasn’t fair on you. I just like to get a rise out of people like you because you’re so different than me. And I knew it would mess with Jughead. I didn’t expect you to respond that way.’

‘I can tell you don’t do this often.’ You respond with a raised eyebrow finally looking him in the eye. ‘Tell you what, let’s just put it behind us, start a fresh. No judgement. But I swear to you if you so much as put a toe out of line, your life will become a nightmare, cupcake.’ You send a quick playful wink his way before walking past him and out the door.

As you reach the school gates you hear his voice again behind you. ‘Wanna go to pops?’

‘Now that is how you apologise.’ You say with a hint of a smile

-----

A month later you were sat next to Sweet Pea, in Pop’s, his hand resting on your thigh and you head leaning on his arm, laughing at something ridiculous Fangs said to the point of tears. Over the month, you had grown to love the group and once you got over the initial awkwardness fit in perfectly. You became Toni’s best friend and Fang’s confidant yet the place you held with Sweet Pea was as confusing to him as it was to you.

You always left him with a kiss on the cheek. Your hugs lingered longer than ‘friends’ should, there was reluctancy to let go. He often found himself playing with your hair. At Friday movie nights, you’d be passed out with your head in his lap by the time the 3rd movie started. And he didn’t move you. He would look down at you with a gentle smile on his face and resume playing with your hair.

It went passed the limitations of ‘friends’. You were more than that. You were like soulmates.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Fang’s barking a laugh. Reaching up, you rubbed your eyes and gazed around the table looking for something to distract you from the feel of Sweet’s hand on you, his finger tapping a beat.

Your eyes caught Toni’s over the table, and she gave you a knowing look before dragging you up and to the bathroom.

‘What is it T?’ You say

‘You looked like you could use a break from your thoughts, what is it this time? Thinking about the names of yours and Pea’s future children?’ You blush.

‘Toni no! I was just thinking is all. About how we are, how he acts. Just wondering if it’s just me.’ Toni lightly hits the side of your head and responds

‘Of course, it’s just you. Are you blind? Do you want me to go out there and ask him who else he looks at like that or holds like that? Come on girl, get a grip.’

‘Sorry Toni I just worry is all. We’re from different worlds, and we don’t judge each other but people judge us and I just… well I just worry.’ You say looking down. ‘And besides nothing has happened between us so I don’t think I need to start planning the kid’s names yet.’ You say adopting a jokey tone to hide your confusion.

‘But it will, trust me.’ She responded before walking out the bathroom.

-----

And it did.

A few days later at movie night, with Fangs and Toni, you’re leaned up against Sweets, his arm around your shoulders and your head resting on his chest. His fingers were absentmindedly drawing on your back putting you into a hazy, tired state (not surprisingly as it was nearing the end of the 2nd film). Noticing your sleepy state, he leaned down and whispered in your ear, ‘You tired Princess’. The name had now adopted a loving tone as opposed to the one of disdain he originally used with it.

You mumbled out incoherently prompting him to ask again and give your back a light tap – ‘I’m fine cupcake, wide awake.’ You respond still mumbling but enough for him and the others to hear, the use of the nickname causing Toni and Fangs to turn from the movie and giggle before Fangs asks, ‘why do you call him ‘cupcake’ anyway?’

Still half asleep, you turn up to look at Sweets before mumbling, ‘Because he is so sweet, get it?’ Before settling back on his chest and closing your eyes, reaching out to his free hand, and intertwining your fingers nonchalantly.

You heard the laughs and teasing from the others, you felt Sweets grip tighten around your shoulders and his thumb grazing across your knuckles. But with your eyes closed you couldn’t see the look of pure adoration in his eyes and the dusting of pink across his cheeks.

-----

It was at the end of the 4th film of the night that you were woken from your slumber to say goodbye to Toni and Fangs and get ready to leave yourself. You felt cold no longer leaning against Sweets but didn’t want to cross any boundaries by asking to stay the night. Luckily, the decision was made for you.  

‘It’s late and I’ve had a couple beers and I don’t want to drive – do you want to crash here?’ You hear from behind you just as you closed the door as Toni left.

‘Are you sure? I don’t want to impose; I can drive myself and bring back the truck in the morning if you want?’

‘Like hell you can drive. You look more tired than you did after you and fangs pulled an all nighter to watch Disney films.’

‘How nice of you,’ you say teasingly approaching him, ‘maybe you don’t deserve the name Cupcake.’

‘No princess I don’t. You should have it!’ He responds.

‘Okay then beanstalk!’ you quickly respond before darting off to his bedroom giggling with him chasing after you.

‘Say you’re sorry and I am not a beanstalk.’ He says cornering you. You quickly mutter back those words looking for an escape. ‘Now say I deserve the name cupcake.’ You didn’t want to admit that so dart past him.

His arm catches you at the last moment and you both fall to the floor giggling. Led next to each other, in that moment, giggling like kids, you had never felt more complete. As your laughter died down and you fell into a comfortable silence, you turned to look at him. He looked content, like all that was happening in the world didn’t matter, just being there with you was enough for him.

‘I could stay in this moment forever you know’, he said in a whisper, too scared to break the silence and too scared to meet your gaze.

‘I don’t know about you, but I think I would be missed.’ You respond, not sure how to deal with his candidness.

‘I’m serious.’ He finally turned his head to look you in the eye. You were closer than ‘friends’ should be and were reminded of the night you met him when you were this close but under different circumstances. In that moment, your lips met. It was a soft kiss, gentle and quick, but it was filled with all the emotions that neither of you could voice. As you pull away, your eyes are filled with adoration that no one could rival.

‘I’ll stay in this moment with you then’

With that you both break into wide smiles and you settle down next to him once again, your head rested on his shoulder.

‘Hey sweets’ you whisper after a couple of minutes silence.

‘yeh princess.’

‘I think you do deserve the name cupcake’ 

[loveburnsbrighter]

Prompt: 7. Late nights (bonus points if it’s pre-Grad Night or early relationship bc I’m sad and pathetic and it’s all I want 🥺)

it's been soooo long but i finally cranked this one out! i challenged myself by writing pre-grad night, and it was so much fun :-) i hope you love it! here's the ao3 link.

"What do you mean you've never seen The Princess Bride?"  Patrick mock-glares at David, then turns to Stevie.  "Did you know about this?"

Stevie shrugs, and the look on her face tells David that she cares less about the actual fact that he's never seen the movie than she does about bothering him to death.  "I can't say it's ever come up, but I naturally assumed he had."

David leans against the counter, supporting himself on both hands as he lets his shoulders slump.  It's nearly closing time, and this conversation is ridiculous, but he feels comfortable.  The store has only been open for a little over a week, but the three of them have spent so much time in this space together that it feels natural, standing at the counter and getting harrassed by the two of them.

"David, you have to watch it.  I can loan you my copy —" Patrick actually does seem invested in this, which David, God help him, finds endearing.

"There's no DVD player in my room," he says, engaging because Patrick's eyes are sparkling, and he's got his top two buttons undone, and no undershirt on, and when he gestures, the shirt gapes a little too wide, giving David a glimpse of collarbone.

And because Alexis and Stevie have hooked David on the idea that maybe Patrick might be…not totally straight.  And not totally not into David.  He's helpless to the maybe of it all.

Which is why, when Patrick says, "Well, Ray's not home tonight, why don't we have a little watch party?"  David finds himself agreeing.

Stevie agrees too, when David shoots her a sharp glance, and if Patrick has any reaction to that, he doesn't show it.  But Stevie is, despite all her and David's constant bickering and blustering, an excellent friend, and she understands without him having to say a word that watching a movie together, alone, on Ray's awful floral couch, lights off, probably a bottle of wine open…it would destroy him.

"Great," is all Patrick says.  "I have a thing after we close, but you guys can come by at like eight?  I'll make Jiffy Pop."

There it is.  Already.  The very idea of Patrick standing at the stove making popcorn the old-fashioned way is enough to make David want to bury his face in his hands and squeal.  This is why he needs Stevie.

"You're my buffer," David explains to Stevie on the drive over.  He's got two packs of brand-x licorice, because the single sad convenience store in Schitt's Creek actually can't afford to sell name brands, and a bottle of wine he pilfered from his mom's stash before they left.

"I don't think he's planning to sleep with you tonight," Stevie says mildly.

"My emotional buffer."  He curls one leg up, putting his heel on the seat of Stevie's passenger seat.  "Because I really like him, and I don't — if I'm left alone with him, like that, I'll definitely say something stupid and ruin our friendship, and then he'll pull out of our contracts and I'll run my business into the ground and be back to only having one friend."

Stevie snorts indelicately.  "Who's saying I wouldn't take Patrick's side in the divorce?"

He ignores her, watching out the windshield as they pull into Ray's driveway.

Patrick greets them at the door and leads them to the kitchen to pour the wine; David stands at the counter and observes that Patrick actually has made Jiffy Pop.  Something about it seems weirdly nostalgic to David, despite the fact that he himself had a professional popcorn machine growing up, and it makes him ache in a way he doesn't want to poke too closely.  This is probably a relic of Patrick's growing up.  David can almost picture tiny Patrick, standing on a chair to reach the stove and observing the foil rising into a ball for him.

While David has been lost to this thought, Patrick has found three stemless wine glasses and poured the wine.  Stevie unearths a big bowl from the depths of Ray's cupboards for the popcorn, and together the three of them troop to the living room.

It's so much worse than David could have imagined.

There's just the couch — there's an armchair, but it's beside the TV rather than pointed at it, and there's nowhere to move it to.  They'll have to share the couch, which has a horribly ugly, probably handmade and supremely cozy-looking afghan draped over it.

Stevie and Patrick claim the ends of the couch, leaving the middle for David, which is reasonable — they're both better friends with him than they are with each other, and it's the first time David has experienced that dynamic in his life — and a nightmare, because now he has to sit beside Patrick.

Patrick is unbothered, because it's normal to sit squished on a couch with someone you only consider a friend.  Or because he's just completely unflappable; thus far, David has yet to see him express emotions outside of frustration, focus, and varying shades of amusement.

David plops between them, and his thigh grazes Patrick's.  He tries to squish closer to Stevie, and she pushes him back.

"Are you uncomfortable?"  Patrick turns toward David a bit, pushing the whole solid line of his thigh against David's.  This was a mistake, this whole thing.  David should have come up with an excuse not to come.  A prior engagement.  Dinner with his parents.  A Sunrise Bay viewing party.  A trans-continental flight.

David gives in when Patrick hands him the popcorn bowl, cradling it like a child and trying to ignore the line of nerves lit up where their legs are pressed together as Patrick queues up the movie.

David focuses on the screen studiously, like he'll be tested on it.  Sips his wine, crunches his popcorn, lets the vaguely European fantasy hijinks onscreen take up as much real estate as they can in his mind.  It's an easy movie to focus on, funny in a way that means he can see why it's such an icon.  Romantic enough that David can't help but be a total sucker for it.

It's not until midway through that things get dire.  Wallace Shaw has just laughed his last victorious laugh and keeled over, and Patrick nudges David, taking the mostly-empty popcorn bowl and setting it on the coffee table.  He reaches back for the afghan and tugs it from behind their backs, and passes the end to Stevie, so that the three of them are snuggled beneath it, and David is the middle of the coziest little sandwich.

It's a nightmare.  He glances at Patrick, who's watching the screen with a little smile, and then he looks back and turns that little smile on David, and David takes a deep breath and turns back to the screen.

It's fine.  What's changed, really?  That they're warmer now?  They aren't cuddling, or anything.  Although Patrick looks cuddly to the max in his little blue sweater.  It's almost definitely synthetic and remarkably soft for the fact.

David sneaks a glance at Patrick out of the corner of his eye; he's so relaxed, so in his element.  David feels like he's never seen Patrick out of his element.  Is everything his element?  David is struck with an urge — or maybe a quiet desperation — to find the borders of Patrick's comfort zone.  To prove that they exist.

David's borders are everywhere.  They're under this blanket and along the side of his thigh and at the bottom of his empty glass.  His comfort zone is smaller than his body, and so everyone is always rubbing his edges.

But with Patrick, he instinctively minds less than with…a lot of other people.  Surely that must mean something.  Maybe not something cosmic, but…something.

It gets even worse.

David is focusing as studiously as he can on the movie, doing his best to ignore Patrick's thigh against his, his shoulder against his.  Wesley is mostly dead, and David is caught up in the fantasy peril, he is, and then Patrick yawns, pressing his whole palm up to his mouth, and slumps and rests his head against David's bicep.

It's unacceptable.  To be that casually touchy with a friend.  A coworker.  David wants to shove Patrick off and shout that there are rules about how to treat people you don't want to date.  He wants to hold him close, wrap an arm around him and whisper and gamble on that…maybe he does.

Rather than doing either of those things, he turns his head slowly to glare at Stevie in total panic.  She meets him with an excited little smile.  "Yes," she whispers.  "Love this for you."

"Don't rush me sonny," the healer guy onscreen says.  "You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."  Like having an unrequited crush on the guy sleeping on you, David thinks sourly.

"Hmm?"  Patrick lifts his head from David's arm to look at him and Stevie, and David immediately misses the warm weight.

"Nothing," David says too quickly.  Patrick frowns, and he doesn't say anything but he supports his own head for the rest of the movie.

David knows he's in too deep now, because he wants to tug Patrick back to him.  He wants to hold him, and this isn't — normal, for David, is what makes it horrible.  He's not used to slowly growing to like people.  He's not used to liking people, flat out.  Attraction is something he can handle, the invisible line that draws two people together for a night or a week or a month, keeps them in the same bed until they find new beds to fall into.

But this?  Getting to know someone, feeling warm in his gut when they smile at him?  Wanting to know someone better, and wanting them at the same time?  This is new.  And to have these feelings for Patrick, who's so buttoned-up and straight-laced, nice and smart and clean?  Even if sometimes David thinks… 

Because you don't lean your head on someone's arm if you don't like them, right? 

David loses the whole finale of the movie, trapped in his head with Patrick beside him, warm and soft and sleepy.  Imagining things too far and then reeling himself back in — like what if after the movie, Stevie left, and David and Patrick put in another movie and fell asleep sweater-to-sweater on this couch?  But no, stop, because Patrick…who knew if he felt even a spark of what David felt?  He couldn't risk this, their friendship, their business… 

"So, what did you think?"  Patrick asks over the incredibly sappy song rolling in the credits.

"Mm," David says, trying to think of something to show he's been paying attention.  "I normally am not a fantasy fan, but young Robin Wright is a gift."  God, that makes him sound like he's into Robin Wright, what the fuck is wrong with him.

Patrick's invisible brows raise half a millimeter and his mouth curves with something akin to fondness as Stevie pokes David harshly in the shoulder, no doubt ribbing him for saying something so stupid.  It's hard to care when Patrick's expression is making David feel hopeful that maybe, maybe what he feels between them is double-sided.

"That she is," Patrick says.  He's alert enough, but he looks sleepy, his eyes ten percent warmer and wider than usual.  David wonders what it would be like to have a night like this and then stay; to let Patrick nod off against his shoulder and not wake him.

"We should get going," he says instead.

Patrick follows David and Stevie to the door; Stevie is already halfway down the driveway, having said her goodbye, when Patrick puts a hand on David's elbow.  "We should do this again sometime," he says.  "I had fun."

For a second David lets himself imagine that this is the end of a date.  That he could smile and pout and lean in and Patrick would lean too and they could kiss and hug, that David could leave feeling warmed up inside.

Just for a second.  Because this isn't that.  "Me too," he says, and despite the bite of just friends when he's so desperate for more, he means it.  He'll take friendship with Patrick, movie nights and long days at work, anything he can get.

He turns and joins Stevie, and Patrick waves from the doorway as they back out.  David rolls his eyes but he waves back, and it's strange — he does feel a little glow, as if they did have a date.  He turns to Stevie, and she's smiling at him just a bit, just out of the corner of her mouth.

Don't rush it.  Maybe, maybe, he thinks all the way home.

[transrightsjimin]

@trespassers-will​ ok here we go

i also watched the various videos hidden inside each photo and the videos that were posted today as well and took notes too hjfhk

1. hobi’s room

okay so i thought i would rank jin’s room first but then i saw hobi’s room and i saw that couch nd went OMG okay thats no.1!! i love this interior so so much, like i normally hate orange and blue as a combination but this seems almost more like red and blue and it really reminds me of hopeworld. there’s many pop art-like graphic design posters adorning the walls, showing lines like ‘hope‘, ‘sweet’ and ‘my way‘. the shoes on the closet(?) behind him were disaplayed bc those are the colours we wears the most in his fashion. and then there’s this iconic inflatable clear pink couch and him wearing a pink robe and just GOD what a mood, i want a room like this!! the chair reminds me a lot of the type of fun quirky furniture i fantasized about and incorporated into my drawings as a kid when i was around 8-11, probably because i got inspired by stuff like totally spies and polly pocket, which had all these designs clearly inspired by 60s and 70s space age design but more in pink and purple i guess.

also i hate the search for such stills bc even w safe search on, you still have godawful f3tish drawings depicting those kids from totally spies ending up in search results and it’s disgusting. but yeah it reminded me of that

when i say polly pocket, i particularly mean this quik-clik (magnetic clothes and hair) era in 2005 which was what i had some stuff from. i had that couch / movie night! set and the pool and that

also i just really like hobi’s room because with all the posters and cabinets and clothing items laid out and a carpet and fun colours and whatnot, it really feels like an actual room you could live in, unlike any of the other rooms which feel very empty or too minimalist to me. but YEAH hobi’s room is my fav, i love the way a fuller room feels more cozy and habitable and floaties and inflatable floaties are AMAZING

2. jin’s room

jin’s room is so prettyyyy!! jins explanation of the room was very uhm confident and funny but i love that. the couch looks like a lilac shell, which makes sense as everything else looks very pearlescent. i really love cool-toned pastels like lilac, powder / baby blue, periwinkle and everything just looks like it’s part of a waiting hall for mermaids or something. there’s also gems in it which took me a while to realize bc i only noticed the glass chandelier and lamp but then i saw them in his hand nd on the table. i dont rly care abt gems / jewels but overall i just love how this whole room speaks ‘pretty‘ to me. robes are always a plus. as i was writing this, i was also reminded of hair extension mullet jin with iridescent clothing and all and that is actually my all time fav photoshoot / look of him. him saying he’s the gem of the room makes sense too as he’s sitting in the shell like a pearl. jin pretty pretty mermaid

ok from here on its getting harder bc place 3-8 is not so much abt which is nicer but which one actually makes me feel any emotion bc i just feel too exhausted for excitement over comebacks or anything really. also minimalism doesnt make me feel anything either. but ill try

3. jungkook’s room

ok ive been staring at a screen w few sleep for too long so ill try to go through my ranking faster bc ive been working on this post for too long, also partially bc i cant focus nd partially bc theres some i just rly dont feel much for but i feel bad for ranking one lower than the other or ranking smth higher when ive talked to someone who dislikes a room i like dghkfdf

but yeah i like jungkooks room! its a very intense blue tht might make you depressed if youre in it too long but again i love how theres multiple items stacked in the bg and intense blue lights, and the ceiling looks like it has soundproof padding. its like youre in a recording studio or at some vaguely nostalgic party of a friend of my mom, who had plants in her home nd rock music nd the tv on and was smoking nd it was a bit dark and mysterious. i like it, it intrigues me a bit nd makes me miss going to concerts. also this pic rly just reminds me of 2008-2010 pop music videos where theres always a party and dj and people are wearing sunglasses or something and theres a dance break at the end

4. yoongi’s room

also blue!! the first time i saw this pic it was bc someone sent it to me to say how ugly they thought the decoration / editing looked w the metallic dripping stuff from the couch and whatnot but i kinda like it :( i like his velvety clothing and the light blue in the rest of the room is really pretty. i like mirror themes when done well nd i like how the reflectiveness shows also in the metallic dripping nd metallic spheres and the mirror hes standing on nd the way light reflects on his clothes and from the lamp. only the lamp feels a bit too much like a contemporary art installation for me nd his room already is a bit too empty for my liking nd i had the feeling when i watched the vid of him walking through the room that there was not much to interact w in the room like it was a bit dull. his voice in the explanation videos made it feel more like a place of peace / solitude rather than boredom or loneliness though.

5. namjoon’s room

ehh i think place 5, 6 and 7 are interchangable at this point. namjoon woulve ranked lowest but i listened to his explanation videos and saw him goof around in today’s video and appreciated it a bit more. the room still looks quite minimalist and not super comfortable, like youre not allowed to touch anything there (which is the same for jin i guess but i dont view that as smth meant to look like a living room). i do like how the wood theme is present throughout each wall nd in various items and w the windows nd use of space it feels a bit inspired by japanese interior design and that that is inspired by his bonsai tree nd love for woodwork, but im not sure. i was actually quite shocked some of his explanations were so short. so yeah i place this 5th bc i like how coherent the theme is but it doesnt feel cozy or inviting nd still very cold to me, maybe bc it looks too expensive or minimalistic in terms of colours.

6. jimin’s room

i like the flowers but also i dont like tiny flowers nd they tend to be the stinkier ones. i kind of like how jimins room feels the most like a grandma one w all the flowers nd offwhite and the lamp and beige i think? but the colours are so muted and if anything it feels like a place for a bridal photoshoot nd im just so bored. i love jimin nd feel bad for ranking a room he curated so low but it rly creates no serotonine in my brain, just melatonine bc im sleepy. i like how the room i obviously quite packed w stuff, but then the washed out colours make everything still look very bleak. hmm. i do like how the flowers reach outside the borders unlike w any of the others’ photos. im about to fall asleep so let me quickly finish this post

7. tae’s room

the picture in the middle behind him is interesting nd i dont know how he made that, nd i do like how he described his room as a place where there would always be enough food for visitors. i know it’s meant to communicate some highbrow, artsy vibe but w the weird editing and lightning nothing looks real in the room he’s in (including himself, like it doesnt even look like hes in the room) and it just looks kitschy instead of artsy. yeah i dont gravitate towards this one, it’s like deep-fried and desaturated at the same time nd i tend to avoid looking at it subconsciously

8. the first room photo

i first posted a long description here why but it disappeared but in short. this photo evokes no emotional response to me other than think of kind of crappy hotel rooms i was in w my parents while on vacation nd we slept in the same room or something nd the beds were awful nd made my moms chronic pain worse. the clothing is very boring and so r the colours of the room. i know bangtan curated stuff but its still the least interesting photo to me, maybe im too depressed to feel anything idk

im sorry this was prob very boring TT_TT i tried my best to make a ranking but i rly dont know nor care as much as i would want to

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy chapter 246; the icon of the Ainu indeed

Well it is that time again, time to dig into the most recent chapter of GK for some meta thoughts and Ogata comments of course.  The chapter starts off with the continued brawl between Sugimoto and Ushiyama which Sugimoto is definitely losing despite his killer efforts.  See those white eyes on the title page.

But knee to the face only results in less than a reaction from Ushiyama as he blows the blood out of his nose and pulls his head back up.

The chapter title has been translated as the “icon” of the Ainu which will become important as events progress.

Shiraishi desperately calls for someone to stop them and Boutarou shows a hidden strength as he hits Ushiyama in the head with a table as he yells at Ushiyama.  Ushiyama is pleasant enough in calling him a pirate and remarks that it has been awhile before he flings him into the wall upside down.  A rather dejected looking Boutarou remarks to Shiraishi that it didn’t work.

Trying to stop the insanity, Kadokura, of all people runs into action but gets tripped up on his fancy monk footwear.  Thankfully, his fellow ‘old man club’ member Kirawus comes to check in on him asking if he’s alright and Kadokura suspects he sprained his ankle.  Toni adds in color commentary that he’s wondering why the two of them even came to Sapporo.

The fact that Toni is questioning their presence tells me that both of these men are definitely hiding something that will come into play in the future.  I already previously wrote a meta stating that I’m suspicious of Kirawus and his possible involvement in the gold since he’s older, single and his forehead is always covered.  Kadokura’s ‘thing’ is that he’s inept and has bad luck, but Hijikata likely knows more and he’s not a loser per se.  He’s been able to pull of many things including making sure that his own men at Abashiri couldn’t interfere with the plans to rescue the fake Wilk (which he clearly knew was fake).  If he were as inept as he’s implied to be, he would have died years ago.  He’s fronting a bit in my opinion.

Hijikata then approaches and tells Ushiyama to get out of the way so he can shoot (and kill) Sugimoto finally.  Of course, Asirpa intervenes to prevent any further conflict while Ushiyama proceeds to own Sugimoto in the background. She confidently stands before Hijikata and gestures with her left hand reaching out to halt Hijikata.  She is in a complete ‘power pose’ as she stands between the rifle and the tussle behind her.  There is a close up on her determined and calm face which is then looked at by Hijikata.

Really, I feel like this is back to channeling the ‘Asirpa as Jesus’ vibe.  She is intervening in a situation in a calm and non-offensive manner.  Her determined facial expression has a level of maturity that we haven’t seen before and you know Hijikata is sizing her up.

The next page already shows Hijikata has lowered his rifle and now is covering his wound in his upper left arm with his free hand while Asirpa stands before him with closed fists.  Sugimoto and Ushiyama are still fighting and Kadokura springs into action.  First off, he highlights that if they don’t stop fighting the police will come.  And if the police come the 7th won’t be far behind which would be a bad thing.

Additionally, in order to make sure that their entire group is together, he orders Kirawus to find Ariko and Ogata to make sure that they are able to safely retreat and not attract too much attention.  Kadokura is not a real loser, just his own flavor of loser.

This statement clearly gets Sugimoto’s attention as he asks “Ogata?” while still fighting with Ushiyama.  This completely distracts Sugimoto as Ushiyama begins to put him in a tight arm lock and he starts shouting at Vasily aka hood guy (hoodie-chan in Japanese) that Ogata is there which falls upon deaf ears so to speak.

Sure enough, Ogata is back on his game and he’s clearly been well aware of the current events for some time from his ideal fire tower sniper location.  He’s modified his use of binoculars for his single left eye and some of his fake mustache remains painted on his face from his ironic disguise.  He simply threw his handy cloak over his commoners clothing which was seen in chapter 240.

Here is his commoner outfit from 240.

I am curious where he had his rifle and cloak?  As he has clearly stated that one never leaves one’s rifle more than an arm’s length away (unless naked, then in the general bath is good enough).  I would assume with his neurotic tendencies the rifle and cloak are inside of the Yuusaku themed puppet which he has ditched somewhere to quickly climb to his clutch location to watch things as they unfold.

He is able to spot Asirpa in the mix of things as she turns around to look at Sugimoto who is desperately trying to communicate to Vasily that Ogata is nearby.  After what I would say was an embarrassingly long amount of shouting by Sugimoto, he finally manages to produce one of Vasily’s drawings of Ogata to get his point across.  I’m really unsure why Sugimoto would have Vasily’s drawing of Ogata unless it is his only option since Ogata likely did not have his photo taken at the studio.  Vasily again takes a few minutes to put things together, but once it sinks in he is beyond excited.  I find Vasily’s reaction to be out of character, he is a man who is a cold blooded sniper who let his friend Ilya die so that he could pursue Ogata, yet he’s shown to be flustered, so much so that he grabs Sugimoto’s rifle.

So not only does he grab Sugimoto’s rifle but he’s going to have an issue when it comes to firing it.   I’m going to assume that Sugimoto got a type 38 from Tsurumi when he went to ‘rescue’ Asirpa which takes the 6.5x50mm Arisaka cartridge.  Unless he’s changed his own beloved sniper rifle, Vasily should still be using a Mosin-Nagant which would use a so called ‘7.62 Russian’ cartridge.  Therefore, Vasily is going to have to either hope that Sugimoto has left his rifle loaded, with the safety on, or he’s going to have to calm down and take his own Mosin-Nagant.  But the fact that he has grabbed some ‘spoons to go’ tells me that he isn’t thinking very clearly.

Now, let’s pause for a moment and ponder if Sugimoto’s rifle is loaded.  When we first met him panning for gold, our first convict pulled his own rifle on him but was unable to shoot due to the safety being on.  This would imply that Sugimoto kept it loaded.    In chapter 235, our postman from hell is able to use Sugimoto’s rifle and sure enough he fires off most of the shots and this also implies that it is loaded at all times.

Of course in direct contrast to Sugimoto’s reckless rifle use, is Ogata’s anal retentive rifle care and use (and more care!).  When the group were at the hot springs during the new moon attack, Ogata had his rifle stashed away in the corner as well as a single cartridge.  As he had to load the cartridge while pursing Toni and his gang, it is clear that he does not keep his rifle loaded at all times. It is clear that when he goes into action or needs to be on guard he clearly has his rifle loaded.  But when they are in more public places and his plan of action would be to find a nice place to snipe from he likely uses his time to get into position to load his rifle and ready himself, since it isn’t a rushed situation.  Due to his extreme skill with the rifle, I’m under the indication that Ogata feels comfortable enough to have time to load his rifle with little effort if he needed to when a situation takes a turn for the worse.

Okay so back to the action - I’ll say that ‘borrowing’ Sugimoto’s rifle isn’t a bad idea since it is likely loaded, which makes Sugimoto’s use of fighting with the rifle even more terrifying; what would happen if he knocked the safety loose?  And yet again, I can hear Ogata’s voice scolding Sugimoto for leaving his rifle unattended.  In an even more scolding and disappointing voice, Ogata is berating Vasily for not having his trusty and familiar Mosin-Nagant ready to re-start their sniper battle.

All in all, Vasily’s entire reaction is completely out of character and confuses me.  This is not the man who tried to draw Ogata out so that he could continue their sniper battle here.

And again, even though I said it in my meta before, I’ll say it again. 

Vasily, you lost.

With Vasily off to find an adequate location to continue where he left off with Ogata, the action moves directly to our wildcat sniper himself.

Asirpa has now turned away from Ogata’s direction and he puts his binoculars down.  He holds his rifle ready as he vocalizes his thoughts aloud, a very unusual situation for Ogata.  When Ogata was sniping Tanigaki with Nikaido he was relatively chatty with him, but this served a purpose, he was telling Nikaido what he was doing and why he was doing it.  Once he set Nikaido up as bait, and he settled down to his true sniping position we only get his inner dialogue.  In Barato, he didn’t order the other men in the battle until he had given away his sniping position on the fire tower.  At the hot springs he had inner dialogue as he snipes the blind bandits.  Interestingly, during his sniper battle with Vasily, we do get a few lines of spoken dialogue from Ogata.

First off, he states that one of the major merits of a sniper is to be so cautious that he’s almost a coward as he must be afraid to give away his location in order to succeed.

After a few pages, he then follows up with the following remark on Vasily’s dedication to his sniping.  Kiro killed and seriously wounded the other border guards, but Vasily could care less, he’s sniping and nothing will come between him and getting his target.

I personally realized that this spoken dialogue is incredibly out of character for Ogata during the sniper battle. We do not get speaking from him during a serious sniping situation.  I can see two reasons for this:  i.) the rest of the page is covered with Vasily’s internal monologue about sniping.  It very well may have been an editorial decision to have Ogata speak on both of these pages just so that the poor reader wouldn’t get lost between Vasily’s and Ogata’s thoughts as they describe each other during their set up.  It would also give more weight and importance to Ogata’s thoughts on things if he says them directly to us, the readers.   ii.) Ogata feels safe enough to vocalize this before things get serious.  When Vasily doesn’t respond to the dead and dying man, Ogata knows what type of sniper he is and promptly shuts up.  This may have added to the drama as we see Ogata’s breath clearly on the second image above which meant he didn’t start eating snow until he realized that’s how serious things were going to get with Vasily.

And with that Ogata is 100% back in character silently sniping away.  The rest of their sniper battle is full of Vasily’s inner dialogue and we get no additional dialogue of any sort from Ogata until he makes his mark.

Back to the current chapter, Ogata is aimed towards Asirpa.  He’s got a clean shot at her.

He mulls aloud that “If I did this. . . . [shot Asirpa] I bet it would really throw things into chaos.” followed by a rather flat sounding “ha hah”.  The final bottom panel zooms out to reveal the boots and pants of what appears to be an officer’s uniform.

So this entire page is showing so many things.  Ogata is recognizing the power that he could have over the hunt for the gold.  He’s in a unique position to silence the most powerful person in the entire quest, Asirpa.  Yet, even as he states this aloud to no one but himself, it seems to invoke Yuusaku and the guilt associated with him.  Ogata completely hesitates this entire page.  He puts the binoculars down, states the obvious and then holds his rifle at ready.

The readers are already shown his guilt from killing an innocent icon like Yuusaku approaching him from behind.  The next page appears where Ogata senses his guilt as he thinks someone is behind him.  We only see him glancing out of the corner of his left eye and he does not turn towards the putative Yuusaku ‘presence’.

This then shows Ogata finally turning to see if anyone is indeed behind him, which there obviously isn’t.  Before I get any further, I’m going to state right here that I do not believe that Yuusaku’s ghost is here haunting Ogata, if so he would have been haunting him all the time since he killed him back in the war. 

Instead, Ogata’s guilt towards killing an innocent, like Yuusaku, is manifesting itself as the appearance of his brother whenever Asirpa is involved. This has held up since the end of the sniper battle led to his fever and the mental link between Asirpa and Yuusaku.  When he had the very bad fever, Kiro translates that something has ‘taken hold’ of him, which really I’ve always read was Ogata feeling the guilt from killing Yuusaku.  The guilt itself has taken hold of him and it isn’t letting up after the sniper battle.  The sama helped Ogata overcome the thing that had ‘taken hold’ of him which makes sense.  When Ogata wakes up he links Asirpa to Yuusaku as icons.  So now, instead of his guilt taking hold of him, his guilt is now something that he is aware of which is most tightly associated with Yuusaku as the manifestation of the guilt when he sees Asirpa and her role in the hunt for the gold.

Due to his guilt distracting him, Ogata is able to notice Vasily getting into a sniping position. As he makes a very hesitant but surprised statement of ‘ . . . . what?”  This shift from 100% sniper chaos mode has given Ogata the chance to see the bigger picture and Sugimoto stupidly helps by yelling at Asirpa to get someplace safe since Vasily is in position to hunt Ogata.  Great job their Sugimoto, yell loud enough that Ogata is aware that you know he’s around and you want him sniped by Vasily.

So this is a pretty awesome and dramatic reveal that, hey guys, guess who feels guilty?  Ogata!

The rest of the chapter focuses on Sugimoto, Hijikata and Asirpa.  This page alone has so much to unpack.  Sugimoto while still held by Ushiyama ,angrily yells at Hijikata for setting him up in Abashiri, and he’s upset that he purposely separated Asirpa from him.  For good measure he adds in that because of Hijikata’s plan he got shot by Ogata.  No one will deny that Hijikata’s plan was to separate them, however, it was Sugimoto who found Wilk and drug both of them out into the open in plain sight of Ogata for sniping ease (Ogata and Kiro thank your effort Sugimoto).  He could have done something else instead of being in such an easily visible and vulnerable place. 

As Ogata shooting Sugimoto was not a part of ‘plan Hijikata’, Hijikata completely ignores most of what Sugimoto says and instead plainly states that ‘he should have’ killed him in Abashiri.  That’s right as I predicted in the previous meta, Hijikata doesn’t give a damn about you Sugimoto, you are just a really whiny fly in the ointment.  Sugimoto grits his teeth as he goads Hijikata into trying to kill him.

Again, Hijikata is able to calmly reply that he knew Sugimoto would be a problem.  Sugimoto being Sugimoto let’s him know that he’s of course going to cause problems and he then summarizes that Hijikata with Nopperabou (note how Sugimoto doesn’t say Wilk) were turning Asirpa into the icon of Ainu and with the power of the printed press, she would be the leader for the independence of the Ainu.  We already know that Sugimoto’s read on this is based on his limited knowledge of Joan of Arc from “Girl’s Monthly” and his conversation with Wilk before he was shot.  Now, Wilk confirmed that he trained Asirpa so that she could be adept at guerilla warfare. This makes sense for Wilk and for Kiro as well since they fought from a young age for the partisans.  But Hijikata isn’t a native nor mixed race individual from the minority groups, he isn’t going to come from the same cultural context.

We already had many hints of this throughout the manga.  The fact that Ogata confirmed that Wilk was working with partisans and his partners are hiding among the Ainu.  His tenacity to try to figure out Kiro’s true identity, and how even Ushiyama knew he never trusted Wilk.

And here is where Hijikata’s Japanese ‘samurai’ mindset comes through loud and clear. He first off makes it clear to Sugimoto that he has no intention of using Asirpa as a leader in a guerilla warfare.  This 100% makes sense that he would completely disagree with using women or children as soldiers to fight in his war.  Instead, he lays on the passive aggressive idea to Asirpa that she could help his cause by caring about her own people’s future or return home.

This says so much, he is committed to having Asirpa play some role in his plan, but he has made it quite clear that it isn’t her place in the conflict as both as a female and as a child. 

Asirpa then speaks directly to Hijikata and Sugimoto, declaring if this is the case than there is no point for them to fight.  Hijikata still looks calm but a bit miffed and Sugimoto is still angry.

Asirpa is able to directly ask Hijikata about the Ainu’s future.  He replies that through deforestation many of the other resources will run out e.g. things that the Ainu have relied upon are being used by the Japanese at an unsustainable rate.  He then says that the economy will be based on coal.  [Yay! An even worse resource to use and it will destroy the environment even more!] 

Aside from my very sarcastic statement, it is true that the demand for coal will only increase from the turn of the century up until well the heydays of the 1950s, so Hijikata’s plan does work.  Hijikata will use the coal industry as a way to feed into non-Japanese immigration to Hokkaido.  Interestingly, he states clearly that Japanese who are only used to Japanese will combine with the Ainu who have more intermixing with other groups as well as his ‘unknown/unstated’ other peoples will combine together in a multi-ethnic state. 

What I find most interesting is that Hijikata is showing that he has a more open view to a mixed race/strength through diversity thought process than I originally thought.  The difference is that Hijikata’s plan is still based on modernization and the immigration of different groups to create a powerful buffer state.  This is different than Wilk’s dream with Kiro and Sofia, as he wanted to create a confederation by the minority groups for the minority groups and not centered around an industrialized economy.

Wilk and Kiro wanted to preserve their way of life and their cultural practices and it showed with the fact that Asirpa was trained in an “Ainu” way to fight the colonial powers. 

Hijikata, instead, wants to mix the different groups together to create something new, but it implies that she would not be preserving her way of life nor her full cultural practices as the more cultural mixing that would occur the less of the old ways would be kept. 

In that way Wilk’s plan was quite unique, he recognized that he was a mixed race individual as well as Asirpa but he did not put that much of an emphasis of her adopting any sort of Polish cultural aspects.  Sure, he highlights that because she is not 100% Ainu it makes her a new woman, but she didn’t not culturally synthesize Polish-Ainu practices.  Even Wilk’s name is an indication of that, he was named per Karafuto Ainu and Hokkaido Ainu practices but he got a Polish name.  In a way, he used his European background as a partisan but he only passed on Ainu cultural practices to Asirpa.

Asirpa seems engaged and thoughtful as Hijikata speaks while Sugimoto is just, well angry.  Ogata’s got Sugimoto all constipated. . . .

Before Asirpa replies, we get the inner thoughts of Bouratou and Shiraishi begins the lay the groundwork for rejoining team Hijikata.  It is clear from Bouratou’s down turned mouth and thought ending with a question mark that he’s not keen on this whole Republic of Ezo concept.  I would guess that he’s thinking the same thing that Ogata said when he approached Hijikata about it.  It is a poor idea and many men will die for no reason.  Shiraishi states the obvious that they have been presented with the lesser of two evils.

Asirpa then gets to have a nice long monologue.  She makes it clear that she does not want the gold to go the 7th and Tsurumi.  She also states that Sugimoto’s skins were ‘stolen’ from him by Tsurumi.  I’m not sure if this is a deliberate lie by her to Hijikata to imply that he didn’t willingly work with Tsurumi (which he totally did) or if it is a lie to herself (Sugimoto didn’t sell me out for Umeko).  Even though we the readers don’t know what Ogata told Hijikata when he came back, he made it quite clear he had a run in with Tsurumi’s men and Sugimoto was with them.  She instead, presents that since they are missing those skins and now that they have skins that Hijikata lacks, it is the only option but to team up again.

To really make it clear that the Karafuto trip matured Asirpa, we get some surprise from Ariko.  He looks nervous as he asks Nagakura if that is her.  Nagakura who is frequently depicted as a generally wise man, comments that she has changed since he last encountered her.  Furthermore, he states that she is standing on even footing with all of these powerful men.  Clearly, we are getting nice vibes that Asirpa has some Sofia characteristics growing.  Plus, they both have a love of poop.  I can’t wait for the Sofia-Asirpa reunion.  I’m certain a poop joke will be involved.

What I find concerning is that after the profile shot of Asirpa there is a zoom in on a still nervous looking Ariko with his face a bit more shaded and serious looking.  Clearly, he’s got orders from Tsurumi (as a spy) and Kikuta (as a spy and his trusted friend) and who knows what else (Ainu intel) that makes very unsettled with this entire situation.

Ushiyama only after all of this realizes that he let Ueji escape.  Dammit man, you were supposed to kill him remember?

And then a finally shot shows Vasily searching in vain for an Ogata who is long gone.

The chapter then ends with Asirpa sitting down alone, with Hijikata as she drives her part of the deal.  She will share the skins that they have, Boutarou’s and Heita’s in exchange for a chance to look at Hijikata’s skins.  Now, smartly, Hijikata only allows her to look at them alone, no one else.  I’m not sure if Hijikata knows that Asirpa is illiterate or not but both of them are controlling the flow and exchange of information between them.

This final panel shows Asirpa looking at Boutarou’s with Sugimoto, so he’s likely helping her out with the kanji on his tattoo.  She also is looking down at Heita’s so she thinks she’s figured out a commonality between the skins.

And we know that it should be linked to the code that she remembered, Horkew Oskoni.  Unfortunately, the chapter ends with a dramatic look of shock and concern from Asirpa after looking at Hijikata’s skins.

She can’t put things together as she thinks that I can’t not be Wilk’s Hokkaido Ainu name!  And with that our chapter ends!  Dum dum!

Now, I hope that Asirpa remembers that Hijikata has 5 fake skins that Edogai made for Tsurumi.  I hope she remembers that they would be in the mix and therefore, they would not correspond to the characteristics that she thought could be on all of the skins that are key for finding the gold.

Well that was a lot to unpack in this chapter!  I enjoyed it for the most part, it really hit a lot of unknowns and mysterious motivations that we are still missing for some characters!