#⤷ yuu k.【 話す / ❝ we’re destroyers not saviours. ❞ 】interactions.

[yoakkemae]

"Okay, you're... not making any sense. Go to bed." It's time for our annual Lavi to Kanda interaction

' shut up , ' he snaps , even though lavi isn't exactly wrong. he's been wired for the past two days , still hyped up on adrenaline from the previous fights. ( it's odd in a way. he wouldn't say that he relaxes after he kills akuma , but he's never been unable to sleep after either ). ' if you don't have anything useful to say , don't say anything at all. '

[yoakkemae]

he shrugs as best he can with alma on top of him , ignoring at how alma was poking at his seal. it doesn't bother him that his seal is deteriorating at a faster rate than alma's -- alma's healing time had always been better than his anyway. ( maybe it's selfish of him , but he'd rather be the one to go first. he thinks alma could survive it in a way that kanda could not if their situations were reversed. ).

when alma demands him to watch his back , he nods as alma once again settles against him. while alma's hand runs absently through his hair , his hand absent-mindedly dance across alma's back. he tilts his head down so that his nose could rest against the top of alma's head as he closes his eyes. ( he could never , will never , know peace. but , in quiet moments like these , with alma in his arms , he can come damn close. ).

expression falls dead, eyes narrowing as argument races out against the heat of his emotion , ❝ what, you're just gonna call that self - defense ? ❞ it's only then that he prods at yu's chest, digging sharply into where his mark would stain beneath his shirt. one they share, twisted between salvation and destruction. so few years and his has already shifted, advancing far beyond the one mirrored over alma's own false - beating heart .

a very familiar thread of frustration wraps itself around alma's bones and he withdraws, mouth twisted in a pout. ❝ i know. you're not being reckless on purpose. when i can't go with you on missions, just━ ❞ ignore the hushed thoughts in the back of his mind , ⁱ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᶜᵃʳᵉ, ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵈⁱᵉ, ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʰᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ, ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʰᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ ! ❝ ━ watch your back a little better, 'kay? ❞ all is forgiven. it always is. alma wraps around him and settles, running his fingers absently through his hair .

[yoakkemae]

@avaere said:

for while they have been here before , frame against frame , skin is far from as bare this time as the bookman has insisted on the aid of the swordsman within his room, kanda's back guided against the front of lavi's body the second they reunite away from prying eyes of finders. banter would fade, hushed by pleads and demands offered in the shape of hungering lips and greedy, longing hands. comrade, friend, passing moment. it mattered little to the redhead whose hands allowed themselves to explore kanda once again, hold him tightly in what could only be seen as blind attraction. closer, warmer. with their bodies place together firmly, one hand would soon be grazing the middle of kanda's waist (he had missed him), the other moving dark locks away so lips can can bridge the distance further (he had yearned for him), warm as they laid themselves against the nape of kanda's neck (had wanted him). they have been here before, long ago, a clash of loneliness and pursuit that occasionally reach an unavoidable peak; no words. there isn't need for any, for eager fingers reserves themselves the right to communicate for the bookman there they slide away cloth to meet with skin, soft stomach and lining of uniform trousers he knows all too well. in such grasp, lavi willingly forgets where they are and where they stand in the chaotic world raging on outside the inn they have sought refuge in for the night. such demands could wait till morning, as it would carry on regardless, but they could not. who knew when such chance would rise again? one more kiss, firmer, pressed against the side of kanda's throat with a hushed breath; warm, soft, a moment of peace). he would follow it up with a subtle tug at the button of kanda's trousers, voice lowered with a faint suggestion; "... would you have me again, yû ? just for tonight...?"

his frame is rigid when lavi pulls kanda flush against his body -- often times , kanda has no idea which lavi he's going to get. the cheerful , annoying mask that hides away the bookman's keen intellect and otherwise serious nature ; the observer who tries to ferret out kanda's hoarded secrets ; or the man underneath , desperate for a connection that he is no longer allowed to make. based on the redhead's movements , the way his hands and lips roam , it is the man , and kanda can handle him much better. ( and , perhaps only to himself , admit that he could call that lavi a friend. ).

when the realisation is made , kanda's frame relaxes. perhaps unlike him , but kanda is passive when lavi desires such explorations. he has long since realised that he doesn't need touch the way that lavi reaches to him for at times ( wonders if that was something the scientists controlled when they made him. after all , no need for a weapon with a libido , right ? ). it doesn't disgust him , either , and after the first few times , kanda has even liked it. but he feels that this connection has always been more for lavi than it is for him.

( quite honestly , kanda has always preferred sparring more , especially when lavi doesn't hold back. ).

kanda narrows his eyes in concentration as he reaches out with his aura. there are no akuma and no noah in the vicinity of the inn , just the normal hustle and bustle that comes from being the only inn within fifteen miles. it's quieter now , this late at night , and the only people he can sense walking around are the finders skating the edge of the perimeter of the inn and the owner , still in the kitchen. everyone else's aura has become dimmer in sleep.

another kiss on his neck breaks his concentration , along with a tug on the button on the pants of his uniform. " would you have me again , yū ? just for tonight ? "

he adjusts so that he can reach a hand behind him to feel at the bulge he could feel growing against the cleft of his ass. there's more amusement than he'd like in his response of , ' " just for tonight " ? unlike you to ask only for that. '

[yoakkemae]

@avaere asked: “YOU ALMOST D I E D , SA.” lavi says ... in the chillest way possible for a stressed out bookman who doesn't want to scrape his comrade off the ground with a spoon .

he can't help but roll his eyes. he might have fucked up one of his ankles just a little bit from the landing , but it was already healed by the time he was finishing off the akuma anyway. the redhead was being overly dramatic with his comment. ' i know how to land. '

[yoakkemae]

@lunaetis asked:

" kanda — " despite being the one calling out for him, she knew that they didn't have much time together. it'd have been better if she could follow him, if she could stick by him like when they were younger. things weren't any easier even when they manage to find one another again, and they had to part once more. not even a proper hello or goodbye, it was only a passing glance. he needed to leave again, and she had to return. with a split second hesitation, she rushed over to wrap her arms around him tightly. a strong embrace tinged with desperation, as she burned his scent into her mind. " happy belated birthday. " she muffled against his clothes. " please stay safe. " [ lenalee to kanda ! ]

kanda had paused when he had heard lenalee's voice call out to him , and he stopped in place as he turned to regard her. tears gathering in her eyes , an unfortunately familiar sight. he had always said that she looks ugly when she cries , but it's more that he believes she's not suited for tears. ( again , unfortunate that the sight of her tears is familiar ). he's almost surprised when she rushes to embrace him , but with the assumption of his death and him leaving now ... he sighs in slight annoyance , but his left arm reaches over to entangle her in a half-embrace. ( he's just glad no one is around to witness this because he's sure he would never hear the end of it from anyone ).

' you don't have to worry about me , ' kanda says because it's true. it feels as if he's received a third chance at life , considering he thought he should have died with alma. most didn't even get a second chance , and he'll be more careful with this one. ' take care of yourself and the others , ugly crybaby. '

[yoakkemae]

@ubiquitarian​  asked  for  this.

yū  knows  he’s  staring  ,  but  he  can’t  help  it.  not  only  are  the  humans  here  weird  (  they  told  him  that  he’s  actually  nineteen  now  and  an  accommodator  ,  which  he guess  means  that  the  experiments  worked  eventually.  he  had  also  asked  the  head  guy  about  alma  ,  and  he  looked  like  how  edgar  sometimes  did  for  a  split  second  before  smiling  in  the  same  way  ,  telling  him  alma  was  on  a  mission  and  probably  won’t  be  able  to  return  before  they  fixed  yū  )  ,  but  they  all  looked  so  ...  different.  yū’s  met  brunettes  and  blondes  ,  but  he’s  never  seen  something  with  white  hair  before.  there’s  a  tad  bit  of  a  sullen  glare  on  his  face  as  he  says  ,  ‘  you.  what’s  with  your  hair  ?  ’  that  curiosity  shouldn’t  be  dangerous  ,  now  that  he’s  apparently  out  of  the  lab.

[yoakkemae]

@britedown​  {  kanda  &  allen  }.

...  it’s  something  you’ve  tried  not  to  notice  ,  but  it’s  hard  not  to  when  it  comes  up  on  nearly  every  single  mission  the  two  of  you  are  on  alone  together.  (  you  don’t  want  to  learn  things  about  everyone  you’ve  ever  meet.  there’s  no  point  --  they’re  going  to  die  anyway  ).  you  struggle  for  a  few  moments  in  regards  to  rather  or  not  you  should  even  ask  the  question  ,  but  ,  if  this  is  always  going  to  be  on  you  ...  ‘  why  can’t  you  read  well  anyway  ?  ’

[yoakkemae]

@britedown​.  [  kanda  &  lavi  ].

(  you  rarely  dream.  memories  plague  your  sleep  ,  and  they  play  in  your  head  like  a  merry-go-round.  alma  ,  chatting.  alma  ,  eating.  alma  ,  laughing.  alma  ,  killing.  alma  ,  screaming.  alma  ,  quiet.  alma  ,  dead.  ).  you  can’t  help  but  snap  awake  ,  head  starting  to  rise  off  the  chair  you  were  sleeping  on  ,  but  you  feel  your  head  catch.  in  a  second  ,  awareness  slaps  you  ,  and  you  let  loose  a  growl  ,  deep  in  your  chest  before  you  ground  out  through  your  teeth  ,  ‘  rabbit.  if  that’s  your  hands  i  feel  in  my  hair  ,  you’re  about  to  lose  them  if  you  don’t  let  go  in  three  seconds  --  ’

[yoakkemae]

FRAGILE. a word that has never been used to describe kanda before, but he supposes that it must be true now. ( he hadn’t been able to protect himself, let alone tim, against that monstrous human INNOCENCE. a weakness he’s never had before because he’s always had that strength – how do you stand back up again after you fall ? against skinn boric, as a regular human, he would have died, shocked into death so very quickly. )

of course walker wouldn’t want him around. no one needs a shattered tool, especially not one as barely put together as he. the area around his orb is still temperamental, still broken apart. how can he defeat the fourteenth when he can’t even protect those with no power ? when he can’t even protect HIMSELF.

                                   what use is a monster that is no longer a monster ?

                    he’s just a doll, taped together, and one push away from falling a p a r t.

[yoakkemae]

ubiquitarian:

It’s not the first time he’s being insulted by the male, yet it feels different this time -- with how the anger seems to be directed at his decision to distance himself from those he cares about, and not at Allen himself as it was the case in the past. So instead of the usual irritation, the Exorcist frowns, gray eyes trained on the other. What did Kanda even know? It’s not like he has seen the horror that’s Apocryphos. That thing is not good and if it acted as the will of the Innocence -- fighting for the Heart - then --

Allen stops his train of thoughts, knowing the danger of doubting the power; he could not risk that his feelings affected his synchronization rate with his Innocence ( what would he do, if he became a Fallen One? How could he ever look Mana in the eyes, if that were to happen? ).

He sighs, leaning back against the wall, gaze adrift. “You are the idiot here, Kanda.” A short pause. “It’s not like I don’t want to go back, it’s that I can’t.” The faces of the ones from the European Branch flashes through his mind -- starting from Komui and the scientists to Lenalee and the other Exorcists -- it’s his home after all.

He really doesn’t want to lose it again ( like how he has lost Mana and his Master and even Timcanpy ).

“And no matter what you say, I’m not changing my mind. So kindly fuck off.”

kanda  owes  walker  a  debt.  twice  over  ,  now.  (  first  ,  with  alma  and  now  ,  with  his  own  weakness  ...  ).  it  something  that  irritates  him  ,  but  nothing  irritates  him  more  than  walker’s  attempts  to  protect  others  at  expense  of  himself.  kanda  remembers  saying  ,  before  their  first  mission  together  ,  that  walker  wouldn’t  last  long.  kanda  had  been  almost  remarkably  wrong  in  that  ,  but  in  some  ways  ,  still  utterly  correct.  walker  couldn’t  survive  on  his  own  --  he  needed  others.  

still  ,  he  can  understand  why  walker  needs  to  stay  away  from  the  order.  (  ignoring  the  twinge  in  his  arms  as  pain  starts  to  grow  ,  ignoring  the  faint  call  of  you  must  fight  for  us.  ).  then  again  ,  a  part  of  kanda  wonders  if  walker  underestimates  the  others  at  the  european  branch.  (  most  knew  of  the  human  and  non-human  experiments  that  the  order  did  ,  and  they  still  fight.  perhaps  not  for  the  order  ,  maybe  not  even  the  innocence  ,  but  they  fight.  ).

‘  if  you’re  going  to  remain  stupidly  stubborn  about  that  ,  then  stop  being  so  stubborn  about  johnny  joining  you.  ’  kanda  makes  no  mention  of  himself  ,  but  that’s  because  he’s  not  giving  walker  the  option  to  get  rid  of  him.  as  evidenced  by  the  way  he  jumped  after  walker  through  the  gate  with  zero  hesitation.  ‘  he  helped  earlier  ,  didn’t  he  ?  ’

it  almost  irritates  him  that  kanda  hadn’t  been  there.  although  ,  perhaps  it  had  been  a  good  thing  ,  considering  he  would  have  sliced  down  the  fourteenth  right  then  and  there.  while  he  doesn’t  know  for  a  fact  if  johnny  helped  ,  it  wouldn’t  surprise  kanda  if  it  was  actually  true  ,  based  on  what  he  knows  of  the  scientist.  

@ubiquitarian​

[yoakkemae]

@vvretcheds​  asked:  is  your  need  for  revenge  greater  than  your  need  for  peace  ?  for  kanda.

there’s  a  stillness  in  his  body  language  as  he  remembers  (  “  i’ll  swallow  all  of  this  hatred  away  as  long  as  i  have  you.  ”  but  he’s  dead  ,  long  since  been  slain  by  kanda’s  own  hand  ,  and  that  will  never  happen  again  )  ,  but  his  eyes  narrow  as  he  says  ,  ‘  neither  of  those  things  interest  me.  ’  only  finding  her  ,  and  that  would  be  neither  revenge  nor  peace.

[yoakkemae]

@ubiquitarian​​  called  out:  "  yuu  ~  ,  look  what  i  got  !!  isn’t  that  like  ,  super  cool  !?  "  his  eyes  gleaming  ,  signature  smile  and  wonder  adorning  his  face.   "  guess what  --  "  ,  the  young  male  starts  as  he  pulls  out  another  matching  set  of  the  fluffy  blanket  he's  wearing.  "  tadaa  ~  that's  for  you  !!  "  he's  not  going  to  deny  alma  ,  right  ...  ?

a  sliver  of  dread  sends  a  shiver  down  his  spine  when  he  hears  alma  call  out  to  him  in  that  tone  of  voice.  (  at  least  it’s  not  in  tandem  with  the  stupid  rabbit  --  the  two  of  them  play  off  each  other  in  ways  that  make  kanda  feel  murderous  with  only  a  single  look  between  them  ).  when  he  turns  around  with  a  shy  to  see  what  alma  had  gotten  ,  all  he  can  think  when  he  sees  the  cheerful  visage  of  alma  in  a  blanket  is  ...  he  looks  like  a  flying  squirrel.  

however  ,  when  alma  starts  to  reach  into  the  blanket  ,  an  obstinate  look  already  starts  to  cross  kanda’s  face  ,  and  just  as  alma  mentions  the  new  blanket  for  him  ,  kanda  has  already  replied  with  a  resolute  ‘  hell  no.  ’  (  yes  ,  he’s  going  to  refuse.  who  knows  how  long  that  will  last  this  time  ,  though.  ).

[yoakkemae]

@apothose​  asked  for  a  starter.

anyone  who  has  seen  kanda  and  walker  interact  for  more  than  ten  minutes  might  be  surprised  at  the  view  of  them  apparently  co-existing  without  immediately  insulting  the  other.  kanda  was  currently  meditating  in  a  corner  of  the  room  while  walker  was  practising  with  his  innocence.  perhaps  it’s  the  calm  of  the  meditating  ,  but  kanda  couldn’t  help  but  state  ,  relatively  neutrally  ,  with  his  eyes  still  closed  ,  ‘  you’re  shifting  too  little  on  your  back  foot.  if  you  fix  it  ,  you  won’t  have  to  overcompensate  with  your  shoulder.  ’

[yoakkemae]

kanda  yū  //  tag  drop.

interactions. images. analysis. character study.

⤷ yuu k.【 話す / ❝ we’re destroyers not saviours. ❞ 】interactions.

⤷ yuu k.【 考え / ❝ this world is so dark. ❞ 】character study.

⤷ yuu k.【 蓮 / ❝ i won’t die until i find that person. ❞ 】images.

⤷ yuu k.【 知識 / ❝ casualties of war are inevitable. ❞ 】analysis.

[yoakkemae]

"i've already tried that," kanda snapped. he's tried meditating, he's tried just laying down, he's even trying getting some of his aggression out on some of the surrounding trees... nothing was working. his voice remains harsh as he adds sarcastically, "but if i'm bothering you so much, i'm going to take a walk around town." potentially dangerous, but maybe kanda'll be able to burn off some energy running or by fighting some random drunks. or, he'll get even luckily and an akuma or two would attack him.

" ah ... " there's never a simple yes with this guy ! man ! while lavi knew that a little too well , he also knew the burdens of fighting . not as well as kanda , the two of them different than most within the order , but enough to know when limits were being pushed ; better a sleeping kanda than a moody , worked up kanda . " nothing's ever useful t'you , sa ... havin' you roam around in the night gives me the creeps ! i wanna sleep too y'know ! it's like having a ghost floatin' around ! can't y'just ... close your eyes ? lie down ? shut up yourself ?"

[yoakkemae]

the way alma clings to him reminds him of their time in the laboratory , when alma would sneak into his bed on particularly bad nights to sleep together. back then , he'd threaten and hiss but never actually pushed him away. by now , he's so used to it that there's no agitated mask. ( by now , he can even admit to himself that he likes it , even if he'll never say it out loud. ).

he sighs as alma nags at him about being careful. ' you and komui ... you're such nags. ' if he can take a blow that others wouldn't be able to survive , why shouldn't he ? not that he'd ever admit it. ' i'm not as reckless as you two make me out to be. '

it's a soft, syrupy feeling that keeps him close ; unassuming as gravity to earth core, the only reprieve from the usual emptiness that threatens to crawl its way up alma's throat. home is always a reprieve, a home with eyes like the sky and silky black hair. he could spend years here, nestled in the solitude of their room. away from missions and noise and prying eyes. knuckles trail softly up his companion's shoulder, soon replaced by alma's temple as he rests.

❝ you really should be more careful, yu . . . ❞ voice dips from its usual saccharine, unease seeping through the cracks. a sigh presses from alma's lungs , ❝ really. you know we can't━ you know healing won't always be this easy. ❞

SOFT STARTER ! / @yoakkemae, surprise ! ♡･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*