#not literally cuz this is on an alien planet but you know what I mean

[marlynnofmany]

Partially Fragile

The box stuck in the tree was a lovely sight, really. Visually striking. The vivid blue of whatever variety of alien cardboard this was contrasted nicely with the metallic golden leaves, which fluttered in the breeze like a chicken settling happily into a dust bath. 

Just way the heck up there in the tree. 

Zhee hissed in irritation behind me, busy holding down the rest of the shipment in case another freak gust blew past. I didn’t think the other boxes were as light as that one, since the delivery had specified only one set of decals among the cans of paint and whatnot, but none of us wanted to take chances right now. 

With a sigh like a deflating basketball, Mur asked, “Think you can reach that?”

I started to answer, but he was looking at Zhee, with one tentacle pointed upward and the rest around a box of pigment that had tumbled to the ground. 

“No,” Zhee said tersely. He didn’t move from his position, forelegs up on the hoversled and long mantis pinchers holding the boxes close. If he stood on his hind legs, he could reach pretty far, but I believed him that the box was too high up.

“I’ll get it,” I said, before Mur could ask. There were enough branches that it looked like an easy climb.

“Great,” Mur said, hefting the pigments back onto the sled. “I could do it if I have to, but you actually like that kind of thing, so go for it.”

“I’ll be quick,” I said with a smile. I trotted over, eyeing the tree for promising handholds.

Zhee grumbled, “Be prepared for more wind.”

“Right.” I got a solid grasp on a low branch and hoisted myself up, taking care to place my feet close to the trunk and to test each branch before trusting my weight to it. A couple of the branches were dry and creaky, so I avoided those. The rest were fine, and I was up among the golden leaves in no time. It really was pretty up there. The box waited like a square blue egg in a nest made of precious metals. I grabbed it with one arm hooked around a branch for safety, checked it for dents (none, whew), then started back down.

The rustle of leaves gave me a split second of warning before the second wind gust hit. I clamped my free hand onto a branch and huddled against the trunk, box clutched tight, while the leaves flailed like the pom-pom of a cheerleader who was late for work. My legs were free of the foliage, but I closed my eyes and ducked my head to keep my face from getting lashed.

Then the branch beneath me

broke

and I was falling with no other branches below.

I forgot about the box, eyes wide and limbs scrambling. The oncoming ground was smooth. The broken branch had stayed behind. I was thankfully falling feet first.

I hit the ground and rolled, going on reflex and practice that I hadn’t needed for years. I was just hoping to get out of this without any broken bones, but I somehow pulled it off well enough that I jumped to my feet at the end of the roll. “Whew!” I exclaimed, all adrenaline. “That was exciting!” I shook my arms out and dusted myself off, wondering what bruises would show up as my nerves settled.

“Good save!” Mur called, sounding more than a little relieved. “I thought you were about to break every one of those bones of yours.”

“Thankfully no!” I said, looking around for the box. Various aches were starting to filter in, but nothing serious.

“I am amazed,” Zhee declared, “That a species so long and narrow responds to falling by curling up in a ball. And that it actually helps.”

“Well, you know what they say,” I said with a laugh that was still a little shaky. “If it looks stupid but it works, it’s not stupid. Oh, there it is!” The box had rolled in a different direction, now a square blue egg on the bare plains with more golden trees in the distance and only a few scattered rocks for decoration. “I’ll get it.”

I only made it a few steps before a smaller gust slapped me sideways and sent the box rolling merrily away. I gritted my teeth and kept my balance until the wind passed, then I sprinted after the thing. It was bound to be in less-than-perfect shape by now. Hopefully the client wouldn’t register a complaint about our delivery service. Though to be fair, the wind hazard wasn’t listed on the description for this drop-off spot.

I’d almost caught up to the box when I stepped on a rock that betrayed me by tipping my foot at a bad angle. I was falling again, and this time I went down hard. Skid, tumble, stare at the sky and wonder how I’d ended up on my back. Lots of places hurt now.

“Are you okay?” asked Mur’s voice from surprisingly close.

I looked up, worried that I’d passed out and missed a section of time, but no: he and Zhee had just ridden the hoversled over here. Zhee was kicking with his back feet while Mur did his best impression of a cargo net on top of the boxes.

“Yeah. Ow. Mostly.” I sat up painfully and took stock — palms not quite bleeding, many bruises and scrapes, but oh that ankle was going to be a problem. At least I’d landed near the box. I leaned over and swatted it toward the sled, then regretted that when a lance of pain from my ankle made me hiss like Zhee.

He scooped up the box and gave me a look. “Did you just survive a fall from shuttle height without any injuries, only to hurt yourself by tripping on flat ground?”

I sighed. “There was a rock—”

Mur asked, “You fell down because you stepped on a rock?”

“I only have two legs!” I exclaimed, gesturing at them. “This may be a surprise to you guys, but when one stops working, the other can’t do much on its own. Especially at speed. Ow.”

“Inefficient species design,” Zhee said. “And no exoskeleton; look at those abrasions!”

He scolded, but he rotated the hoversled so he was near enough to stick out a leg and help me up. He and Mur were still holding tight to the boxes. I appreciated both of those things. With a little awkwardness and a few bumps on my fresh bruises, I made it onto the sled next to the pile. There was just enough space.

“I can help hold things,” I said as I got comfortable-ish. “Ow.”

“You sure?” Mur asked.

“Yeah. I should be able to sit like this — ouch. Or not. Man, I’d love to take my shoe off, but that’s just one more thing that I don’t want to lose to the wind.”

“Yes, then you’d have to touch the ground with bare skin,” Mur said drily. “How terrible.” He freed a tentacle to wave sarcastically.

“Don’t start,” I said.

Zhee pushed the sled forward. “Woe is you,” he told me. “Soft and squishy despite the impressive ability to roll on impact. Sometimes.”

Mur scooted over and left me two boxes to hold. “We’ll call ahead to the ship after we make the delivery,” he said. “Eggskin can have the medbay ready for you.”

I sighed and leaned over to hug the boxes. “Just tell them I fell out of a tree.”

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Dogs 2

Dodie Smith: i've got another story about pongo and missus King: ah do the dogs go on another fun adventure? Smith: no this time aliens put all humans to sleep and give dogs psychic powers King: Lovecraft: Barker: Poe: Koontz: WOWWWW Koontz: BEST STORY EVER!

Smith: ok so all humans are catatonic now and there's only psychic dogs Smith: and the dogs think 'oh i bet cruella de vil is behind this' Smith: 'we should go murder her' Smith: 'like, we should just go fucking murder her' Smith: 'put a fuckin bullet in her head'

Smith: but the dogs find out that cruella de vil isn't actually behind it Smith: so that puts a crimp in their plan to murder her Smith: then sirius the dog star comes to earth Smith: like the literal star

Smith: you know, he has the super power to appear as any dog breed Koontz: [sullenly] i wish i had that power Frank Belknap Long: dean remind me to talk to you after the story's done Koontz: no i don't want a fursuit, i want to do it for real!!

Smith: so sirius the dog star is all 'god i'm so lonely, i wish i had a dog' Smith: 'i wish i had ALL the dogs' Smith: 'would you dogs like to come live with me in space' Smith: 'like where laika lives' Smith: 'in a big nebula with a lot of space to run around'

Smith: so sirius is all 'dogs of earth, would you like to come live with me in space' Smith: 'WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE??? WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE???' Smith: 'WHOS A GOOD BOY??? WHOS A GOOD BOY???'

Smith: sirius is all 'you should all come to space and live with me in space' Smith: 'you'll know true bliss in space' Smith: 'and also you'll avoid complete eradication in nuclear apocalyse' Smith: 'cuz, oh yeah, that's gonna happen btw'

Smith: if they choose to go to space Smith: then all memory of dogs on earth will be erased Koontz: no Smith: no one will remember that dogs ever existed Koontz: NO! Smith: it will be as if earth was always a dog-free planet Koontz: NOOO!!!!!!

Smith: now the dogs of earth have to make a weighty decision Smith: will they go to space or will they stay loyal to their masters? Koontz: oh god oh god Koontz: please say they stay!! Smith: so the dogs decide… Koontz: yeah?? yeah???

Smith: the dogs decide… Koontz: WHAT DO THEY DECIDE!?!?!? Koontz: I NEED TO KNOW!!! Smith: the dogs decide… Koontz: AUGHHHH!!!!!

Smith: the dogs decide to stay on earth because, even though earth is imperfect, it carries the promise that maybe, someday, every good dog can find a home Koontz: b-but they're ALL good dogs! Smith: exactly Koontz: Koontz: whoaaaaaa

King: wow uh King: that's some story King: not what i expected Barker: oh that's british kids lit for you Barker: it's all bonkers Roald Dahl: ee hee hee Barker: i mean Barker there ya go Barker: case in point

King: really? all of it Barker: oh yeah trust me [meanwhile] Beatrix Potter: my story is mr thumpybunny minds the shop Enid Blyton: my story is Giggles the happy gnome runs afoul of an irishman JK Rowling: Rowling: you know what i'm going to sssay

[bulbabutt]

Can I ask your thoughts on TF One? I have mixed feelings about it, but I’m very curious about what other people think (this can be an invitation to rant if you want it)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thats all ive BEEN doing but you've asked for it

its. so fucking. like okay you could tell from the trailers that it was just gonna be your AVERAGE ass blockbuster movie. its tone was not giving anything original in the slightest. you know, mcu slop. not like... that everything mcu IS slop, but like youve seen unoriginal basic blockbusters before im sure. vague 'we gotta save the world' types.

starting with characters: we have quirky funny hero who makes bad jokes, hes starlord but not as thought out. childish and hopeful, but never wrong. we have a secondary 'comic relief' who... feels useless cuz orion is already the jokester, hes there to be awkward and make the others uncomfortable, but like... ahahha hes violent now. hes pretty useless to the story. and we have cliche ass woman side character whos there to be.... the fuckin scarlett johansen type, i feel like i dont even need to specify what i mean by that. youve seen marvel movies or marvel like movies. like elita in this movie bumps that prime arcee problem i have up to 11, heres shes....... a career woman. who is FINE being taken advantage of and not being compassionate cuz THERES WORK TO DO.... like. i mean think of those romcoms where a woman has NOOOO time for dating kind of thing. and then the only character worth a damn (also the only... not shitty SOUNDING one aka a good VOICE actor whos being a CHARACTER and not just 'hey everyone you know this guys voice') is megatron, and hes not as well thought out as he should be. like they do TRY with his arc, but its not satisfying enough, they dont HOLD ON HIM enough i think. and then hes the bad guy when HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG........

this movie bumps the usual 'transformers lore is boring long and confusing as hell' to 11 cuz its a movie, trying to fit in lore that usually is spaced out over the course of a tv show. and tv shows with all that lore tend to be annoying anyway, but JESUS in a movie is it ever annoying. but its not that thought out! like. ive said it a hundred times before, but i HATE the 13. i hate the fact we have fucking jesus and the apostles to the LITERAL god primus, it makes the story fucking basic as hell. it makes the politics surrounding the war religious and messy and BAD! THIS IS ABT ROBOTS WHY IS IT A HOLY WAR NOW!!!

and showing that the one guy who WASNT chosen by god to be the bad guy whos lying to the people ABOUT being chosen by god is bad! we should know thats bad COME ON. and his whole thing is 'oops ive fucked up and now im sacrificing my people to these vague alien invaders cuz im a big dumb idiot and i have no plan on how to deal with this tee hee' like. how you gonna make the quintessons this lame. theyre vaguely animal like but willing to make a deal and stuff. its really poorly thought out.

also. from the trailers they made it look like 'oh no, elita and airachnid are gonna have that GIRL beef with each other, so we can justify the girls fighting' but.... they didnt even do that. airachnids not really a character, shes just... the only person whos on sentinels side. for some reason. but really its just cuz shes physically weird, and she could easily be replaced by an object shes not a character, shes the camera with the proof. (something something girl transformers are always motorcycles or spiders cuz sexual dimorphism of alt modes LMAO)

like. i did not care for prime ive said that a million times here, but at least that shows telling and not showing gave you like 'okay so orion and megatron used to be partners who started a revolution together, and their political beliefs are what splintered the planet into autobots and decepticons'. but HERE. its so fucking vague?? its like. ok what split them apart was.... the fact megatron wanted to kill the (according to the movie) only guy who was causing any problems for the whole planet?? WHEN BUMBLEBEE WAS JUST SHOWN KILLING LIKE 20 GUYS 5 MINUTES EARLIER???

anyway that 'death' scene for orion was ripping off beast machines and while i had issues with beast machines at the time FUCK YOU! they did that for A REASON!!!! IT WAS NARRATIVELY IMPORTANT TO HAVE HIM DO THAT! IT WAS BAD WHEN PRIME RIPPED IT OFF AND THIS RIPPED IT OFF WORSE!!!!!! FOR WHAT!!! 'oh optimus runs in the way of megatrons gun to save the, i repeat, guy who is SINGLEHANDEDLY responsible for opression on their planet?? thats fucking stupid. thats genuinely so stupid, and while him being like 'im done saving you' COULD be fun and cool and interesting there justttttt wasnt enough of it??

like what i find interesting is that megatron and ELITA had more in common, they were BOTH trying to use the fucked up system they knew was fucked up to get ahead. and what do we get out of that? some BULLSHIT 'girlboss' speech that belongs in 2011 from elita about 'im better than you, i could do everything right cuz im cool and badass and smart and better than you. but.... youre a big dummy with a heart so you should be in charge' GROOOOOOOOOOANNNNN

people always wanna harp on me for being like 'idk man, i like g1 cuz i think theres more interesting ideas that could be readapted better by people who care' but instead we have to turn characters and stories and ideas about politics into basic ass hollywood blockbuster vague nonsense to fit the ideals of the wider movie going audience. and i think thats bullshit.

i think transformers should go back to ripping of star wars and im not kidding. stop making the autobots the fucking leaders of the planet, youre making them complicit in a corrupt worldstate and turning them into fascists who oust non believers. they started as fucking scrappy rebels, take me the fuck back if youre not even gonna go so far as to say 'maybe the autobots do the WRONG thing' like they did in animated.

i think people only like this movie cuz theyre too fucking used to the GOD AWFUL BAYVERSE, and so they think this is GOOD. its not!! its not smart at all!!! go watch sci fi shit from before 2007 I SWEAR TO GOD!!!! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!

the best tf movie IS STILL the transformers the movie 1986 cuz it was COOL and DIFFERENT and well animated and had a good soundtrack and was full of cool characters! maybe it was a lil goofy, but THAT message of hope in the face of despair speaks WAY louder than THIS SHIT..... if youre gonna force the conflict to be political you need SOME UNDERSTANDING OF POLITICS....

im sorry. ive only seen the movie once but im just.... it encapsulates every fucking issue ive been having with the transformers franchise since watching prime. where it got fucking religious and poorly thought out. i know its those god awful bay movies faults but JESUS its been sticking around WAY too long and im tired.

[wack-ashimself]

Ok, cuz it did shock me, I'll tell you the best HOLY FUCK scene in the new 'Doctor Who'...

(Spoilers, duh. Mostly shocking cuz they don't openly KILL people in this show. Usually hinted, alluded to, or done off screen. You see it, full force.)

Rich kids are sent to a planet where they work 2 hours doing the EASIEST work, then get the rest of the day to themselves. The AI running the whole show births(?) aliens <again, they don't explain SHIT this season> that eat these people cuz 'it is tired of listening to all their stupid vapid chatter' (they really do say something like that).

A spoiled rich brat who kept ignoring her friend's disappearing finally realizes what's going on. The doctor tells her to escape to the underground river. You THINK she's having an evolution of character cuz she tries to warn her friends. She tries going there, but she's SO dependent on technology, she literally can't walk a straight line. Then their equivalent of a online celeb finds her, guides her, and protects her. Saves her life at LEAST twice, if not 3x. They're bonding. They even hug <her FIRST hug, EVER?>. They get to the door to the escape, but it needs a bunch of codes typed in to open (cuz why the fuck not?) This is actually when you find out about the AI. Her projection screen ball tries to kill her. The celeb, again, protects her. As the door opens, the AI goes to kill her...

Then she does, hand down, one of the top 5 worst backstabbings in doctor who history.

They realize the AI is killing in alphabetical order. She's next. HOWEVER, because she is a HUGE fan of the online celeb, she knows all his secrets. INCLUDING that he changed his name when he moved to the planet, and his REAL name, alphabetically, is before hers. She screams at the AI the truth, and you just see the look of betrayal on the celeb's face. The AI thinks for a beat, then proceeds to instantly kill him (which you would think it would've done before, cuz it's gonna kill them all, eventually. This season of Doctor who has the WORST fucking plot holes).

So she was inept, almost died cuz of her vanity, then, gets her savior killed to save her ass.

WOW.

JUST WOW.

That knife in the back went DEEP.

<craziest part? You get the feeling when she finally meets up with the doctor that no one is buying her story of what happened to the celeb. But they don't know EXACTLY what happened, so they can't do anything. AND, she goes with her all rich brats down the river to, very strongly hinted, their demise due to hubris. She's getting hers. Rarely do you WANT someone to die in this show that is not an outright bad guy but.....I hope her and all her friends got eaten. I mean, earlier they found out their original home planet was DESTROYED by these aliens. Why the fuck do they think THEY can outmaneuver them? Also, one of the few doctor who episodes where...he lost. He basically saved no one in the end. No wonder he had such a powerful scene at the end, BEGGING them to come with him in order to be saved...it was the best scene with this doctor so far...he went ALL out. Ncuti is such a solid actor. They just NEED BETTER FUCKING WRITERS! And companions. They haven't had a decent companion since Peter...this entire season is leading up the companion's real mom/her birth/why it randomly snows, and I PROMISE it's not gonna be fucking worth it.>

[dc-sideblog]

WIP Wednesday

Rules here. Send me an ask with a title in it and I'll write three sentences for that WIP

Fics:

Blood Drinking Dead on Main:

“Danny, do you know what this means?” Sam asked. “It was Lois Lane, oh my God, it was Lois fucking Lane, the woman who revealed aliens were real and named Superman and exposed Lex Luthor and tanked his presidency and—”

“Danny, Lois Lane knows who I am!” Val shrieked. Val was not immune to Lois Lane fangirling. “She wrote about me in the Daily Planet! That shit’s international, Danny, do you know how—”

“Dude, she talked about the rumors of you being dead!” Tucker said.

“Tuck, man, I think everyone knows I’m dead. My name is Phantom and I’m a ghost.”

“No, I mean, about you being faded or whatever. ‘Cuz you haven’t been seen in two years. Everyone’s gonna think your parents killed you.”

“Tucker!” Sam yelled.

“What? She kinda implied it!”

“She so did not!” Val said. “She said Phantom was missing in action. Like a soldier or something.”

“Damn. All I did was move to Gotham. That makes it sound like I got shot.”

“You did get shot. Repeatedly,” Sam said dryly. “And literally that’s what everyone here thinks. It’s weird, Danny. Heroes don’t just disappear for good reasons. They’re always dead.”

“Except for me! I beat the odds.”

“Danny, my man, I get where you’re coming from, but you are very much also dead. Like yes, congrats on retiring, but you did die. I was there and everything,” Tucker said.

Avengers Crossover:

He went back to the main conference room. Everyone was currently on a call with Fury.

“—is a hero on their world. They’ve been giving us pretty mixed messages about him,” Steve said.

“How do you mean?” Fury asked.

“One minute they’re saying their dad shot Batgirl, the next they’re saying he’s a hero and would never hurt Robin. Either way, they’ve been training—and possibly in the field—since they were little kids. Robin’s still a little kid. Sir,” Steve drew himself up, “This sort of back-and-forth, mixed opinions on a parent is common in abuse victims.”

“You think they’re being abused?”

“I do.”

“Where do we stand on getting them back to their universe?”

“Strange will be here in a few hours.”

Fury nodded. “Stall. I’ll contact Strange myself. Those kids don’t go anywhere until we’re sure they’re going somewhere safe. You understand me?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good.”

Fury cut the call.

Caretaker Kara:

Robbing a house was different than robbing a store. The group scouted ahead. They took days doing it. Planning. Watching. And then they broke in at night, with Zach—the leader—doing something to the door that made it open without a keycode.

Though Kara didn’t even see a place to input a keycode. Was it all biometrics? How was Zach doing this?

Anyway, they got in. The group scattered about, seeking out technology and jewelry. Kara was assigned to lift the heaviest things. Big, bulky tech items that made eyes gleam.

And the cold storage unit that was just chock full of food.

She loaded everything into their van and began to eat. Others stared at her. She held out half a food item to offer it to Gavin, who shook his head, a strange look on his face. Kara shrugged and kept eating.

They let her take whatever she didn’t eat back home with her that night.

Assassin Cass:

She didn’t know how to explain. How to make him understand how dehumanizing it was. The worst event in her life had nothing to do with her. Like she was just a pawn in the game between Joker and the law. Only relevant in how hurting her would hurt Commissioner Gordon by proxy.

She was made to suffer, her legs taken away, her ability to walk for the rest of her life just gone… to cause her father mental anguish.

She had dealt with this shit as Batgirl before. People hurting her to hurt Nightwing, because they were dating. People hurting her to hurt Batman, because she was one of his. No one had ever taken it to this level before, but it seemed to be a running theme. Babs’ pain was only relevant so far as it distressed the men in her life. The men in her life who their enemies respected far more.

She didn’t know how to explain it. That that was the worst part. Not losing the use of her legs. But how much it hadn’t mattered. How much she hadn’t mattered.

A pawn in someone else’s game.

Early Adoption:

“Is it true Batman kidnapped you because your dad is the Riddler?” Harper asked. Harper was super cool. She was in the grade above Stephanie and she had dyed her hair blue with Kool-Aid all on her own. She and Steph always claimed two swings right next to each other at recess before anyone else could. They went higher than anybody.

“My dad is Cluemaster,” she corrected. “He’s not smart enough to be the Riddler.”

“Oh,” Harper said. She paused. “Did Batman make you tell him all his plans and stuff?”

“No.” She huffed out a breath. “Batman says I’m too young to fight crime. Which is so unfair, because Robin started when he was my age. I just wanna punch my dad.”

Harper nodded sympathetically. “He should let you.”

“Exactly.”

This was another reason why Harper was the coolest. Plus, she knew how to fix any broken video game, which was basically a superpower.

[thegeminisage]

it's tng update time.

we did. and you know this. because i made. i counted. 18 posts about it. "half a life." and of course: "the host" (honorific).

half a life: part of what makes the ep after this so wonderful is that THIS episode was so genuinely upsetting. it was a huge bummer. it was awful. the only fucking episode lwaxana troi has been in that cathy actually watched and she had a valid character arc. i was furious. and then we got into it and i was like. oh.

first of all, kudos to charles winchester from mash for being here. cathy caught a 4077 ref that i missed bc i wasnt paying attention. i cant believe he was gay when he did this

secondly. the fucking. ethical implications of. people who are infirm should be dead for their children's sake and for their own sake. like it's better to be dead than in a nursing home. when you're 60 time's up. parents care for their children so children should care for their parents. your aging parents are mortal and they'll die one day. your daughter wants you to kill yourself. you want to die and can't wait to kill yourself. you don't want to live and then you do want to live but you still have to kill yourself. you're 60. you're 60. YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS YOU TO KILL YOURSELF. when she is 60 your daughter WILL ALSO KILL HERSELF.

i think the most fucked up part of this was that lwaxana ruined him. she meant well, and for once i saw her point and her arguments as totally valid (i usually think she's horrible), it was like maybe the only semi-selfless thing she's ever done aside from the ferengi business we will not be discussing. but she ruined him. when he was fine with dying and he had to die, fine and whatever. when he wanted to live?? no longer fine. if he lives his people will hate him forever. his daughter will regret him living because he can't be laid to rest in the family plot. because he can't die with his friends and family surrounding him. but he's 60. people live to be well over a hundred in the star trek universe, other aliens live even longer. he's SIXTY. he's healthy. he has work to do. a planet to save. and he's gonna die knowing his work meant nothing and his planet might die and his grandson may have nowhere to grow up. live or die, he will be miserable either way, just because he was introduced to a different way of life. it's SO fucked up

i think i had more to say about this after it ended but i have clean forgotten all of it. like it's been blasted out of my memory which is probably for the best. the short version is, i am living at home taking care of my mother who turned 58 three days ago. i didn't need any of that.

but then.

But Then.

the host: what can i possibly. i mean. the sheer. the fucking

like the fucking MOOD WHIPLASH alone

i had heard of this episode years ago. so i knew beverly's bf was a parasite and he eventually jumped into a woman and i was made to believe she was super homophobic about it. i was prepared to look completely past all of this and enjoy not-quite-gay SUBTEXT. i was NOT prepared for ANY of the rest of it

to get this out of the way: as i said, though i miss wesley very much (ask catherine i say so like every episode) it's so fortunate that he was not here. i think bev finally hit menopause because her horny levels were CRITICALLY off the charts and this whole debacle would have been so awkward for him. i'm glad he sent her a letter god bless i'm so glad he's fine wherever he is

the BABY BUMP THIS GUY HAD. this i was not expecting. i didn't know we were doing pregnant men in this episode. i figured the entire episode would be about beverly being like "this is weird cuz idw fuck you now that you're a woman" i had no idea his ass would jump into RIKER

riker did amazing bg work in this ep too before he got to star. he gave beverly and her bf some KNOWING looks. at one point the following exchange was uttered: "HE knows they're fucking." "yeah he wishes it was him." apollo and the dodgeball.....

the fact that after that i literally did have the thought "yeah except he'd never fuck beverly. she's one of the few people who are off limits." lisa simpson dot jpg

and then riker's pregnancy, what can one say. beverly put a little worm in his body. i'm only sad we didn't get to see the baby bump because that would have been extremely funny

i spent the whole ep thinking no way can beverly fuck riker. they have to work together. she has to look him in the eye after this. AND THEN THEY DID.

like it's so insane. it's not even that i dislike the concept because the fallout could lead to some extremely meaty interpersonal drama except for the fact that star trek generally isn't about interpersonal drama and we didn't see riker again after he got possessed. we didn't get one word from him. the silence seems so calculated so as to avoid having to write his reaction. BUT I WANTED HIS REACTION. will he not tell us how it feels to be possessed and pregnant and FUCKING BEVERLY CRUSHER? genuinely this is the first time i've been tempted to look up tng fic. someone tell me there is fic

also, like, he only had 18 hours until he got a new body. she could have waited to fuck the new guy if she felt weird about it being riker. SHE didn't know the knew guy was gonna be a woman. like it had to be menopause

the fact that deanna condoned this, even suggested it, is INSANE. not only because she didn't consider riker's ability, or lack of ability, to consent, but because THAT'S HER BOYFRIEND. quasi-boyfriend. sometimes exes sometimes fwb. like it's NUTS.

their discussion was so wild too. like "what do i miss...his hands, his mouth...no, there was more than that" girl they were 5 more minutes away from discovering the split attraction model. actually i don't even normally like the split attraction model but this episode made me like it a little more. growth <3

actually on that subject quasi-exes are weirdly chill with each other on this show. picard and beverly are kinda dating and kinda not, the same way deanna and riker kind of are and kind of aren't. and picard is like...beverly whatever else i am to you i'm also your friend and i know this fucking sucks. do you want a hug. like that is SO chill and cool of him. and ik they probably do this bc they don't want to have to maintain character development but it winds up accidentally feeling really refreshing

anyway: The Woman

i can't believe that beverly can fuck riker, her "sort of "brother," but not this hot blonde lady. and i know it's because they can't be gay but ACTUALLY

i was SHOCKED that gender didn't come into it at all. like yes it was the elephant in the room but nowhere in beverly's dialogue did she say she couldn't do this because odan was a woman now. copypasting:

"Perhaps it is a human failing, but we are not accustomed to these kinds of changes. I can't keep up. How long will you have this host? What would the next one be? I can't live with that kind of uncertainty. Perhaps, someday, our ability to love won't be so limited."

NONE OF THAT MENTIONS GENDER. none!!! the only part that could be interpreted as a gender thing was when beverly said bring HIM in, and was smiling bc she was about to meet the new version of her bf, only for her smile to drop when she encountered a woman. you could sort of read it as "a woman will be even weirder than riker and i just don't have it in me to go through that acclimation process again" BUT LIKE. like she's CHOOSING not to. not that she couldn't eventually adjust. to a woman. beverly just found out she's bisexual fr

like the wrist kiss was SO SENSUAL. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. i can't believe they let two women do that on tv in 1991. holy shit. AND!!! they said i love you to each other. i did quite literally stand up out of my seat. it feels very progressive considering when it was written

and like it's a shame this was in the same episode where riker gets knocked up bc that distracted from the entire gay thing. i WISH the whole episode had been odan in a woman's body and riker had had his own episode to do all of that in later. like it would've been incredible. sexuality is fluid <3

anyway. wow. next time: "the mind's eye" and "in theory," two episodes i already feel sorry for because they will Never live up to all of that.

[smargardinemind]

I literally got in an argument 2 weeks ago with someone about this. Muthafucka had the goddamn audacity to go "oh what about things that are buried" then ignored everything I said about using satellite imagery combined with ground based lidar eliminating his "theory" that hundreds if not thousands of academics had already investigated.... and he knew I have a degree in history and had studied Egypt at that level and he was.... a computer programmer.

3 guesses to this MANs demographic... Oh, and of course, the reason he couldn't BELIEVE that other parts of Africa would have more pyramids he couldn't articulate... he couldn't articulate why he was ignoring facts and reason because of a vague belief, but I think I know why. You see, as home to Cleopatra and the Roman and Greek connections, western media portrays Egypt as more lighter skinned than oh say Sudan or Ethiopia or Eritrea. So his image of "Egypt" is Cleopatra, is Alexandria and is very very white.

And he's not the only one.... it's happened to me so many times before any time I bring up these pyramids and how fucking cool they are, just about every time someone starts doubting these facts.

And it's stupid. Cuz ya know, I'd love to talk about how in Sudan they use different angles and how there are different cultural traditions to pyramid building and different meanings and then compare them to berm buildings in Europe and wonder at the similarity of these structures and how they compare to the other pyramid structures worldwide, like in Cambodia or in Mayan territories or like in the deserts of peru....

See. There is a fascinating discussion to be had if people could just let go of their internal confusion and bigotry and examine the world as it is - its gorgeous.

Like LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL NUBIAN/SUDANESE PYRAMIDS

But WHY SO DIFFERENT FROM EGYPT?

And again, look at Ethiopia is more similar to nubian pyramids:

Which, are SO DIFFERENT from Zimbabwe stone structures

But these somehow remind me of Celtics mounds

Which then remind me of the early structures pre-ancient Egyptians built called mastabas

Begging the question, where are the similar pre-structures for their counterparts in Cambodia

And Mayan areas that were one of the last empires before colonizers showed up but they were in a long line going back thousands of years that developed into this:

And that's before diving into all the fascinating and mysterious and unknown civilizations that were erased or censored from history by colonizing assholes. And this is just a small fraction of such building, legit I ignored the whole subcontinent of India and the entire country of China, not to mention all the other places on this crazy planet of ours. LIKE SO MANY COOL PYRAMIDS AND WHY I WANT TO KNOW.

And this is the discussion I want to have with people. Not them going "ANCIENT ALIENS I SWEAR ONYL WHITE PPLLL SMART ENO7FB TO BUILD TBJNGS". And yes. That's how other white people sound to me when they get all belligerent and stupid. And yes. I view other people's inability to believe another culture is capable of building things by themselves and building a lot of them is often due to bigotry, especially if they don't back down when challenged. And yes, I'd rather run around building crazy buildings and digging up stuff and wondering about the past than argue about the present.

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS THING

I want to understand why people are so attracted to building these structures. I want to understand why so many cultures start with berm building and then why they obsess with these giant structures. There are so many better conversations to be had if everyone, everywhere could let go of their prejudices so we can talk about the shit that matters: GORRAM PYRAMIDS.

Did you know that Egypt, has the fewest pyramids in Africa?

Did you know that Sudan, Ethiopia and Zimbabwe have more pyramids (225 pyramids in Sudan alone) then all of Egypt.

There are remains of pyramids in South Africa, all the way along the Eastern and Northern parts of Africa and archeologists now believe that they may have found the remains of pyramids in West Africa. Why are we only taught that what is now known as Egypt (that tiny strip of land) is the only place where pyramids are in Africa, when in fact the ENTIRE continent of Africa (nearly 400 pyramids not just the six in Egypt) And Archeologist now believe that the pyramids in southern Africa may be the OLDEST pyramids in the world, followed by The Sudanese and Ethiopian pyramids, the West African pyramid ruins, and the North African Pyramids of so-called Egypt. (And im not even going to get into the fact that there are younger pyramids stretching FROM Africa in China, Italy, Europe and South America) WOW Im Amazed

neffera tiy maat bringing one truth at a time  Yaaaaaa

[000life-is-meaningless000]

Atheist : Believe in an infinite universe, to the infinite universe series of universes make an infinite series of universes, and then everything just kind of like magically arranges itself and in some way somehow should becomes conscious.

Mysticism : there was an intended Creator to all things in life plays out the way of someone's or higher power higher intelligence intent.

Either way, it's trippy as fuck.

on one side you have an unlimited amount of empty space creating more empty space and things just popping into fucking existence for no goddamn good fucking reason and things working without a Creator it's like having a toy factory in the toys just spawn themselves and they come to life.

However, if you do the more Mythicism approach then you have a Divine Creator and a bunch of divine creators then who created them so either way you're going to have Infinity.

you're going to have infinite universes are you going to have infinite creators one way or another you're going to have fucking Infinity and before you say God created himself, How the fuck you do that ?

wouldn't it Raise the question to the idea that maybe if God created himself we create ourselves and if we can create ourselves and God create us God also create the alien souls and the animal souls and the souls that make up the elements and again also the souls that make up the forces of light and dark

Demons And Angels, Light And Dark

. . . . . .

And, I don't want to hear your Christian fucking bullshit, because there's a there is an unlimited amount of stupid Christian they will tell you everything is fake besides God.

Thay'll tell you that aliens have no souls animal have no souls fucking space is fucking fake they'll tell you that space is fucking water they'll tell you that planets aren't real stars aren't fucking real they will literally fucking say everything is fake except they're fucking God and their God damn Bible 😡 Stupid mother fuckers.

So here we are and here we all exist my big question is why !??

why do we Exist, how do we come into existence and what meaning or purpose does life have or Give.

is there a way to destroy a soul or destroy your own soul, because existence is beyond fucking horrible I sometimes wonder if hell is a joke ?

not to say that it's not real and not to mock hell's existence but once you understand the universe and reality you start to wonder hell was the real heaven ?

Once you understand how horrible the existence really is you start to look at hell like a Good place.

😭/☹️

So, I Really Don't fucking know ?!

. . . . . .

I don't know where anything is I don't know why everything is the way it is I'm just beyond I don't know ?

Scientist's really don't fucking know and people of the mysticism don't fucking know

and as for me when it comes to all this shit, I'm just trying to figure out why the fuck I have to exist ?

My Existence Is Beyond Horrible, I've Explained what my reality or my situation is and everyone just thinks schizo.

I told the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth but no one want to listen to me and everybody just want to think of me as someone that was severely severely mentally ill.

Cuz, Human's only think they Exist.

🤐

I Won't Go Any Further, you can clearly find my other blogs and it's super duper easy, 🙁 - I hope you take the time to read The Data but ultimately I'm just trying to figure out the big picture.

And, Then it Get's even more fucked up and we have to tangle with fate.

[kiunlo]

okay listen i really really really like martian manhunter/j'onn j'onzz. and i kinda want to write a fic at somebody (probably a oneshot) exploring his character and also loneliness and there’s something i want to explore that i’ve not seen very much. but i haven’t read as much martian manhunter comics as i’d like to so if this has come up in a comic at some point please let me know cuz i’m sucker for this type of shit. 

anyways. like...yes, at the point in time when j'onn shows up and becomes a part of the justice league, people on earth already know about aliens being out there in the universe. but shayera and clark are aliens from far away planets, some that no longer exist anymore. it is hard to really “relate” to aliens who come from worlds that are so far away, so unreachable to even a fucking astronaut. but j’onn? he’s from our solar system. i feel like there’s no way people both in the league and also the general public wouldn’t be extremely interested in his culture and him as a person (in a genuinely curious and good way) because of this familiar thing that martians and humans share. the martians are essentially our neighbours, our space cousins. maybe we are not similar biologically, but there are things that we share. 

j’onn and another human could literally stargaze at night either on mars or on earth and both be able to recognise the stars in the sky, and recognise that in some way, they are close to home, even if they aren’t on their own planet. maybe the planets’ orientations and placements are different and weird, and the presence of a very large moon in the sky would bother j’onn in the same way that seeing no moon at all on mars would bother a human, but it’s still mostly the same. j’onn can still see the same constellations he grew up looking at and appreciating on mars, and he and a human friend could share knowledge of their own constellations, and hell, maybe even the same stars show up in both human and martian constellations. they can share the stories of those constellations, the figures they represent, what the mean when you see them in a certain orientation in the sky. they can find closeness in the fact that they are cosmic brethren, born under the same sun, the same stars, the same planets, the same nebulae, even if their ideas about those celestial objects is wildly different. you can’t tell me that j’onn j’onzz, who has lost everything, wouldn’t find some comfort in earth’s night sky. because at least, for him, he knows he’s really not that far away from home. there’s still something around him that hasn’t changed, and it is the stars above him.

[calamitaswrath]

While Xenoblade Chronicles as a series has plenty of stuff about it that could make you describe the games as "the most game ever", I think even so X still stands out from the others. I mean it's like

The whole premise of the game is that Earth got blown up in a war between two alien factions. One of those factions is the main antagonistic force for the game. You literally never learn anything about the other faction in the game. We only know like super basic information about them from artbooks or whatever, and even their name, Ghost, is not even guaranteed to be their official English name cuz the other faction is named Growth in Japanese, but Ganglion in English. The game has 19 playable characters. It's the only Xenoblade game with a player-created avatar. You can give yourself green skin and no one cares. You can re-customize your avatar after you start the game and change your gender without anyone acknowledging it. Three of the playable characters are aliens. Over the course of the game you invite like half a dozen alien species into the city that is humanity's base of operations, and not a single one of the playable aliens is from any of those species. Every single playable alien character is the sole representative of their species in the whole entire game world. You only learn the name of the species of one of them, and it's that of the space Melia furry elf girl. One of the other playable aliens is implied by more artbook stuff to be a personification of one of the game's continents. He is a blue goat man who constantly says stuff like "Cry me a table". The planet the game is set on has some kinda universal translation field that for whatever reason doesn't apply to blue goat man, and he just learned English by binging WikiPedia from human databases. And as a matter of fact the planet the game is set on is lowkey implied to be a kind of cosmic horror thing. Multiple sentient alien species get dragged onto it, and even though the vast majority of them have technology that's far more advanced than that of humanity, and one of them even has an outright functioning spaceship, none of them can leave for vague reasons. There is a human man who's from like a million years in the future, and he doesn't know anything about the planet, and can't leave, either. Everything that anyone says is automatically translated. There are countless enormous and impressive ruins all over the planet, and you have no idea what civilization left them behind. The only species that's truly native to the planet are the Nopon, those fat furry orbs that are in every Xenoblade game and they don't tell you anything and it's unclear if they even know who left the ruins behind.

A monster from the first Xenoblade game with some very specific lore background inexplicably appears as the strongest superboss and guardian of the planet. It's a gigantic dragon-dino-bird thing, the likes of which the party fought in the first game with a magic laser swords that has a god in it, regular swords and magic. In this game it's the size of a city block and you fight it with guns or in a mech that was build by Americans. The entire human cast in the game is American. The city is New Los Angeles in space. The playable cast has one two Asian characters and a black woman, who is one of the aforementioned aliens in disguise. The game makes it explicitly clear that rich assholes bought their spots on the ark ships that were used to evacuate Earth, and only brought essential workers with them, which comprise the playable cast, tearing apart families and everything. The game is fully aware of the questionable nature of colonizing an alien planet with its own ecosystem and native wildlive, and it's only brought up in one conversation that you can easily miss. Everyone in the city is a robot body with a human conscious and they are trying to get their bodies back. The story only really ramps up in the last two chapters, but when it does, it does incredibly so with cutscenes and story beats that are still better than a good chunk of what you'll see in the other games. The final boss looks like something right out of Resident Evil. The game has like two different cliffhangers that it only opens up in two last cutscenes after the credits. After the cutscenes there's a bit of text that says "This story never truly ends...". Since X came out Nintendo/Monolith Soft have released Xenoblade 2, Xenoblade 2's story DLC that was also released as a standalone game, a remake of the first Xenoblade game complete with a short epilogue story mode, Xenoblade 3 now, and Xenoblade 3's own story DLC which is set to release next year. There's not even any rumors of a sequel to X being in the works. One of X' main characters and arguable main protagonist, Elma, appeared in Xenoblade 2's DLC, and was the only crossover character there to have a bit of story content to them. In that story content she acted kinda out of character, and the scenes involving her hinted at stuff that was barely even acknowledged in X itself. X had a whole character that likely would have been the protagonist, but then they rewrote the story to make room for the player avatar, and now the character who probably would have been the protagonist died before it even began. Elma talks about this guy more in 2's DLC than anyone ever does during X itself. The end of Elma's story content in 2 again hints that there's gonna be a follow up. This was in 2018.

Whenever somebody talks about X, there's like a 90% chance that they're saying something that's just blatantly wrong, but because the game's stuck on Wii U, nobody ever gets corrected. The game has several online components that even most people who actually played it don't understand. The game is so ambitious from a technical standpoint that its physical version needs for datapacks that you can download for free and that install part of the game on your hardrive so that it can load certain assets faster. The Wii U eShop shuts down next year which'll make those permanently inaccessible for anyone buying the game in the future. The fanbase collectively decided that the game's story is bad, when the vast majority of them just rush through the main story missions and miss that there's a shit ton of stuff in the side content. Most people don't care for this because the story isn't like a melodramatic shonen anime. Nintendo seems to pretend the game doesn't exist. There's like barely any Wii U games left to port to Switch, and this one's the most notable. Again, there are not even rumors of it getting ported anytime soon.

In conclusion, it's one of the most games ever and it needs to come back like yesterday.

[shi-daisy]

Detour

Late to the party but it was my largest fic so I plead innocent! Lol sorry, anyway I was but stuck on this entry cuz I had zero ideas until it hit me that the Ulquihime/Wavewave AU could work for this. Having both otps interacting its so fun I might do it yearly like the Reunion AU. Hope you all like!

*Fic is set after A Different Reality & A Blissfull Vacation both from the same AU.

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week Day 3- Wasteland

Detour

They'd done the process so many times Ulquiorra knew something was wrong when he woke.

This time the universe hopping felt heavy as if their entire body struggled to function. Whereas other times felt as if they blinked and were suddenly reunited with their friends.

"Aw, My head. This trip was rough."

Ulquiorra took a step back when he heard his wife's voice come out of someone else's body.

Orihime no longer looked human, but rather she was an orange Cybertronian. Her eyes were still silver and her hairpins had become pieces attached to her new head.

"Ulquiorra?! What happened to you?!"

He touched his own face to feel it was also now made of metal. His body too was green and black and made of metal, he felt as if he had wings again but they were different from those of his resurrection.

"This can't be...We...We've become Cybertronian."

Orihime looked to the side and her silver eyes turned wide. "Maybe that's for the best. Otherwise we wouldn't survive here."

He looked back to see a glimmering glowing gigantic city. It looked exactly like what Soundwave described.

"We're on Cybertron..." Ulquiorra whispered.

"But how?! Does this mean the war is over? Is that why we're here?!"

"I don't know. Either the war ended or it has yet to start. Otherwise the planet would be the wasteland Shockwave studied back on Earth..."

A beeping sound startled them both. It seemed that even in this new form, Urahara could still contact them.

"Ah, hello hello! I see the machine has changed you. That wasn't supposed to happen."

"Kisuke-San! Not only do we look like this, but I think we jumped in time! What are we going to do?"

"No need to panic Inoue-San, You just need to find Shockwave. He'll be able to bring you back in no time. I shall take care of the twins until you return."

"Then we must go to the city. Hopefully we shall see you soon." Ulquiorra told him.

Orihime held our her hand and he took it. Be it metal or skin, he would always feel bliss upon being touched by his dear wife.

***

Despite her worries, Orihime couldn't deny she was utterly fascinated by technically being in an alien planet.

The mechanical sounds that could've been deafening otherwise, the ungodly amount of flying machines that she now knew were literally alive flying through the sky instead of walking, and the absence of humans, flora and fauna were so different from Earth that she couldn't help but want to take it all in.

"I see Astronout Inoue is enjoying this." Ulquiorra smiled when he saw her giddy expression.

"Yes! I never thought I would ever explore an alien planet or that it would look like this. I'm wondering if you and I could transform too! Do we even know how?"

"Considering you have wheels on your back I'm guessing you'd have vehicle mode."

"You bave wings, then that means you're a flyer."

"From my physique alone I suppose I'm a seeker."

"Like Starscream?"

"Don't ruin it, dear."

She laughed at her husband's comment. Though she knew he was fascinated by all of this too.

They finally managed to find a city map, but sadly it was in Cybertonian. Orihime remembered a few words, courtesy of Soundwave's lessons. She identified the word Prime in one of the info squares, but given she couldn't read the name before it they were still unsure as to what time period this was.

"If Optimus is the Prime this is either during the war or after our friends lost it. If it's Sentinel is before and if it's neither the war might be over and won by out friends."

"I can't say for sure, but I think the first letter of the name would be an 'S'"

Their suspicions were confirmed as they saw a familiar purple vehicle speed by them, while being pursued by a police car.

"Prowl and Biteback?" He asked.

Orihime nodded. "That means this is before the war began. We should look for Shockwave in his academy."

"Despite not sharing the keen interest you both have in science I've always wanted to see the Jhiaxian Academy of Advance Technology."

"I think we're influencing you then."

He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Indeed you have."

She thought the walk there would be easy, after all things, were supposedly peaceful. But just as Soundwave often said that peace masked some ill intentions, they were just tucked away well for a while.

"We've only been walking for two blocks yet I've seen sentinels all over."

"Yes. I'll admit I didn't expect so much hyper vigilance."

Ulquiorra pulled her close by wrapping an arm around her waist. Orihime leaned into his touch as they finally arrived at their destination.

"Think this is the right place?" She asked.

"You won't get away with this you glitch!"

She recognized that voice, although now it sounded far more playful even young. 'Stormsurge?!'

Her old bot friend looked the same, save for the heaviness he and all of the others carried during the war. She almost didn't recognize who he chased out of the Academy until she glanced at his red eyes and purple paint. 'Is that...Tarn?! Stormy was right he did look nerdy.' She stiffled a laugh as she saw the old rivals fighting in their youth.

Even more familiar faces were there for her to see when she glanced at the academy door. Thundercracker and Skywarp were there making bets on who would win this match.

"My money's on Stormy."

"Nah Damus is getting this one."

"My guess it's all of you will go back inside and cease the nonsense!"

Another bot arrived and while Orihime didn't recognize his face she knew that shade of violet all too well.

"Now come on, away with you! If you keep fighting like that I'll have you clean Weeljack's lab."

All of the other bots scurried back inside but the purple stranger noticed them. "Hello, may I help you?"

"We're looking for Senator Shockwave." Orihime tried to keep her tone calm, still she felt herself grow tense as she hoped she'd be given a different answer from the one she expected.

"Ah well you just found him. What can I do for you?"

She froze. This wasn't the Shockwave she knew. He still had his face and both pretty golden eyes. His smile was bright and sweet just as Soundwave had described him before he was tortured. Orihime wanted to warn him, but before she could Ulquiorra spoke.

"We have a request, but I think we have to explain ourselves first. This might take a while."

***

When it came to their robotic friends he usually got along best with Shockwave and Orihime with Soundwave. This version of Shockwave however, he was so similar to her that he could've sworn they were siblings.

Knowing this made it all the more difficult to process that the bot would end up just like he was during his centuries at Hueco Mundo.

"Organics traveling from a future alternate universe to our own, it's simply brilliant! Oh I would love to see how you look in your original form but anything organic would simply perish under this planet's atmosphere."

"It would be due to the radiation or simply the size diffrence?"

"Both could be factors...Oh sorry you were here for assistance and I've been talking non-stop, I'm just very excited."

"No problem. It's good to see you like this..."

He heard the sadness in Orihime's voice as she commented. Thankfully their purple friend was too prepcupied with finding the tools he needed to assist them.

"There. I think I can send ya back home swiftly. We'd have to go to my house however, as that lab more equipped to deal with high magnitude projects."

"Then if you allow us we'll be happy to accompany you home. Truth to be told were both enjoying this visit. Seeing things it's not the same as experiencing them."

"Is that so? Well then, I'll give you a tour as we reach the mansion!"

That seemed to lift their spirits in a small way. The walk back to the house seemed short but they stopped often to gaze at whatever place Soundwave had told them about on their previous meetings.

The library, the hospital and even the plaza were all there exactly as described by Soundwave on earth. Their friend really knew how to set ambiance.

Upon arriving at the mansion, Orihime be seen gasping at the look of it all. "It's so pretty! Ulqui, dosent it look like Las Noches?"

"The arquitecture is different but yes the color and feel are similar. Shockwave I say you and my old boss have the same taste in decor."

"Well thank you, glad to hear you find it familiar."

"Shocky? Is that you?"

Again they both froze upon hearing the younger softer voice of another dear friend. Unlike Shockwave, Soundwave was completely unchanged. His paint, look and optics were all the same, save for the fact he wasn't wearing a Decepticon insignia.

'Because it hadn't happened yet.' He thought.

"Yes Soundy it's me! I brought some friends over who require my help. Are Sunny and Cade around?"

"Unfortunately no, they're out with the cassettes, but I'll lend you a hand."

"Well you two, let's work to get you back."

***

"Those two really like to chat no matter the circumstances. " Orihime mused out loud.

Ulquiorra and Soundwave were chatting away while she and Shockwave kept on organizing the machinery. She managed to hear a little bit of their conversation.

"You're the one who pushed me to confess. It's thanks to you we're conjuxed in the future so please do remember to encourage me when I'm back in my squishy form." Ulquiorra told him.

Soundwave laughed and gave a thumbs up. "I'll do my best."

"I take it we're all close once we meet again?" Shockwave asked, noticing her smile as she stared at them.

"Yeah, we are close."

The feeling of closeness was not diminished by the change in circumstances. If anything she was overjoyed to finally see Shockwave like this. So calm and happy, and with his body and face unmarred by scars that would last milenia.

The pretty technological planet had been a delight to visit, but she differed with their blue mech friend when he said it turned into a wasteland during the war. 'Any planet that does something so callous to a bot like Shockwave is a wasteland regardless of beauty. I'm just glad things didn't come to that in the Soul Society.'

"Hime?"

"Sorry I was just...thinking. Shockwave there's something I should warn you about your future."

The purple bot raised his hand to stop her.

"Don't. Anything you tell us might affect the future and put you and Ulquiorra in danger. I won't allow that.

Whatever has to happen. Let it happen. I know well what we're all getting into with this conflict."

She hugged him tightly. "Just let me say, that you'll be okay reagerdless. He'll never stop loving you, and the same goes for you to him."

"Then that's all I needed to know."

***

Hugs were exchanged as Shockwave quickly sent them back home. In the blink of an eye they were back in Karakura.

"Good to see you both. Had to ask some babysitters for help with the twins."

Ulquiorra smiled upon seeing Shockwave and Soundwave in their human forms, carrying Kokoro and Sora.

"Took you five million years to get back. I used to wonder when we first found you why you looked like those cute bots we met back home. Now I know why." Soundwave laughed. "Should've stayed a seeker and replaced Starscream."

Ulquiorra smiled and took his daughters back. He then glaced at his smiling wife. "I appreciate it, but I think I'm much happier here as an organic."

"Good choice. This seems prefera-" Shockwave was cut off by Orihime tackling him into a hug. Even in human form he did have his trademark blank expression. "Inoue, you'll hurt yourself if you keep glomping people like that."

"It's just good to see you again...I'm glad you're still here."

"I told you. I would be fine as long I had him with me. You feel the same, don't you?"

"Always."

[13uswntimagines]

Your Ass Is Out of This World (Kelley x Reader)

Request: alex or kelley or sonnett x reader where they've been dating for a few years R is an astronaut for NASA and she gets to go to space

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ cause without her, none of this would have happened. 

Kelley wasn’t quite sure how she had ended up standing next to a dive bar sipping a lukewarm beer on a Friday night. In her defense, Ali and Ashlyn had convinced her it would be fun and had promised to pay for the Uber rides both ways. It had been fun for a while, dancing with them to some old 70s songs on the light-up dance floor, but half an hour ago they had disappeared off into a hallway somewhere, and she had no intention of third-wheeling (she knew she should have convinced Alex to join them). But she also wasn’t going to leave without them, because she wasn’t convinced either of them were sober enough to take any kind of transportation safely (someone needed to be there to make sure they didn’t puke in someone’s car).

So here she was, standing by the bar waiting for her friends’ sexcapades to be over, nursing her drink. The clink of a glass settling in front of her caught her attention. She blinked at the bartender. “I didn’t order another one,” 

The man’s lips ticked up and he shrugged. “Lady on the end paid for it. Said you looked sad,” 

Kelley looked up, following the man’s eyes towards a woman standing a few seats down the bar from her. She was also standing alone but was dressed as though for a different event altogether. Kelley had embraced the 70s theme of the bar slightly, wearing a jumpsuit and a scarf around her head, but this woman had just thrown a white NASA shirt--like the one Kelley got for her little cousin at Target-- over a pair of black jeans. As she bobbed her head to the music she met Kelley’s eyes and smiled. 

Kelley took that as her invitation to approach. Kelley’s eyes traced her form, lingering on the white material. She didn’t know those came in adult sizes...

“You must be a star, I can't stop orbiting around you” Kelley smiled charmingly as she approached you, setting her beer on the bar beside you and settling in the seat to the left of yours. 

“I do believe I was the one to buy you the drink…” you said, your lips twitching as you tried to keep a serious expression. “Shouldn’t I be the one throwing pickup lines here?”

“You bought me the drink, so I get to be the one to woo you. I’m Kelley, are you from Mars? 'cuz I wanna explore you with curiosity.” Kelley said, wiggling her eyebrows at you, enjoying the light blush coloring your cheeks. 

“Oh my god,” you groaned, “that was terrible. I mean really good but absolutely awful.”

“At least I got you to smile, but you still haven’t told me your name.” Kelley laughed, taking a sip of her beer. She was prepared to lay on the horrible pick up lines for your entertainment. 

“I’m Y/n,” you said, putting down your drink and holding out your hand, “pleasure.”

“They call me the milky way...Pleasure You Can't Measure,” Kelley smiled, shaking your hand as you laughed and pulling you a little closer “Why look at the moon, if I can’t touch it? Why look at your lips, if I can't kiss them,” she said, winking so you knew she was completely joking. 

“How do you know so many of these?” You said, shaking your head in awe. “ All I know off the top of my head is ‘do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world!’”

“Ah, a magician never reveals her secrets,” Kelley whispered conspiratoryly, bringing her hand up to cover her lips. “but my team and I have definitely had flirt offs for bonding nights,” 

“Your team?” 

“Yeah, I play soccer for the US and Washington,” She shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge accomplishment. 

Your eyes widened and you nearly spat out your drink. “Didn’t they, like, just win a World Cup?” 

“Yeah, No biggie,” Kelley said, side-eyeing you as she took another sip. 

“No biggie?  I’m surprised you don’t have a swarm of paparazzi shadowing you, that’s incredible! Weren’t the USWNT like the most successful US team in soccer?’

“Hm, there’s not enough drama for them, but we don’t mind. How about you? What do you do beautiful?” Kelley hummed. 

“Oh. I work for NASA,” you said, gesturing at the shirt. “I can’t wait to bring some of those lines back to work.”

“What??” 

****

“So do they at least give you a good choice of flavors? So you don’t get bored and stuff?” Emily asked from across the table, licking her dripping I cream cone. 

When your girlfriend decided to introduce you to the team after their match against Colombia, you were quite surprised she had chosen an ice cream shop as a venue. But with how food motivated the youngins seemed, you realized how appropriate it was. 

“I mean,” you said, your spoon suspended in the air as you blinked at Emily, “ice cream isn’t the only thing we will eat. I’m going to be on the station for like 8 months. Ice cream is not a balanced diet.”

“But it’s the only one they sell in the stores. You don’t have to lie cause the veggie lovers are here,” The defender said, leaning across the table, as though it would prevent the rest of the table from hearing her. 

“Babe, you literally love most veggies too,” Lindsey rolled her eyes, using her thumb to wipe a spot of chocolate ice cream from Emily’s nose. 

“Actually, I heard they’re a pretty good selection of dehydrated fruits and veggies and MRE’s and Tortillas and stuff. Plus I get to take a few things from home…” You mumbled, leaning back. 

She couldn’t be serious right? There was no way she thought you were supposed to sustain yourself on horrible freeze-dried dairy products for that long. Not to mention, freeze-dried ‘astronaut’ products for the most part weren’t actually possible to bring to space, with how crumbly they are. You were more likely to eat actual ice cream on the space station (less chance for an errant crumb being inhaled or destroying an important piece of equipment) than that gift shop garbage. 

“Oh yeah, MRE sounds way more likely than just eating the stuff they literally label as being for astronauts…” Emily said, rolling her eyes. “What does that even stand for? ‘Must reject Emily?”

You opened your mouth to answer, eyebrows furrowed, only for Kelley to nudge you softly. 

“It’s not worth the fight babe, trust me. Not the brightest lighthouse if you know what I mean,” Your girlfriend made a swirling motion with her finger next to her temple. 

You leaned in closer so your lips were nearly touching her ear. “She’s not serious right?” 

“I never joke about ice cream,” Emily answered seriously. 

You blinked at her, looking to your girlfriend who just shrugged and raised her eyebrows. 

“I’m, I’m not sure if they have a flavor rotation system for ice cream flavors. We haven’t been… briefed on that yet,” you nodded seriously. 

…...

“Can you hear me?” Kelley said, tapping her fingers impatiently as your face appeared in the video call. 

“He- -utiful,” You smiled through the glitchy computer screen. Your waving was broken up like a bad claymation. You leaned in to make out the fuzzy figures standing behind your girlfriend, assuming she was at camp or something. 

Normal long distance sucked, but literally being off-planet really made things difficult. It wasn’t like Kelley could just text you when she missed you, or randomly call you when she missed you at 3 am. Sure, she could email and you made a tremendous effort to schedule calls once a month, but it was still incredibly difficult (and slightly weird that a NASA tech dude had to monitor each call to make sure the connection stayed up). And sometimes even the best video-calling technology had issues. Like today (when a giant satellite or piece of space trash would block the signal). 

“Are you hav- -un at -amp?” You asked, grabbing your floating water pouch pushing out a sip sized water drop. 

“Yeah, it’s great,” Kelley said, watching you munch on your water. When you first got on the station you sent her pictures of artwork you made out of different drops of colored water- specifically making a giant water ‘soccer ball’ for her. Then you tried to boop it around and ended up losing control, amusing all your crewmates who watched you trying not to run into too many walls. “We’re looking forward to playing against Brazil on Friday, should be brutal.” 

“We’re set to be ov- Florida on -day, so I’ll try and tune into the ga-. Catch a nice - view,” You nodded, wiggling your eyebrows (which looked more like you having a seizure due to how badly you were pixelated). 

While Kelley wasn’t entirely sure what you were saying, she went ahead and nodded. “Let me know what you think!”

“Wh- color -it are you w-ing? Y- look -uper s-xy in the -ue,” you said, floating up in a ‘draw me like one of your french girls’ pose. 

“You’re favorite one,” Kelley said, winking at you. 

“-es!!” You cheered “-ake p-ture -or -“ the screen flickered dangerously for a second. Before a wobbly picture returned. 

“Babe you’re breaking up, I can’t tell what you’re saying. Y/n. Are you there? UGh. I love you! We’ll talk soon.”

“-ove y- -oo” 

Kelley blew a slow kiss to her camera before she heard a deep voice saying “Sorry ma’am. The connection was lost. Y’all still have five minutes on your scheduled call- Want me to try calling again? See if the signal improves?”

“Yeah,” Kelley shifted, rubbing the bridge of her nose as typing sounds echoed through the speaker. How she was going to make it through four more months of this she had no idea. 

“What if like the ship was attacked by aliens or something,” Sonnett whispered from her left, staring at the blank screen with real trepidation. 

“Not possible ma’am,” she heard him laugh. “But I doubt I would have the right level of security clearance to know.”

“great.”

Kelley grabbed a pen and marked a day off the calendar hanging on her wall. So much for ‘phone call with Y/n.’ She sighed. Just a few months to go. 

****

Gravity fucking sucked. It was disorienting and heavy and made you sick to your stomach. Space station alums always talked about re-entry and how bad that was, but you thought sitting in a NASA hospital bed while your equilibrium readjusted was way worse than your fireball craft plummeting into the ocean. 

“This fucking sucks,” You groaned, again throwing your hand over to pull out the IV. You hated how hard it was to move (and how you actually had to hold up a cup of water to get a drink but that was beside the point). 

“Whoa babe, I know you’re a little out of it right now, but that has to stay in. Just try and relax for a little while,” Kelley said, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles. 

You frowned at her through heavy-lidded eyes. “Don’t wanna be here. Wanna be home with you.” 

“I know, but you gotta stay here until the re-entry symptoms have worn off a little more,” She said again. She knew that you weren’t going to be 100% when you stepped out of the spacecraft, but she hadn’t expected you to be so out of it. You were sick to your stomach and entirely unable to walk without assistance. 

The doctors assured her that you would be fine (residual effects from not being in gravity for so long and the impact of the landing or whatever), but it was still difficult to watch. It didn’t help that you were a horrendous patient. 

“Just watch the game. The US is even in Blue,” Kelley tried to coax. Even she was beginning to grow restless. But you couldn’t leave until you could keep down solid foods. 

“I don’t want to watch. You’re not in it,” You said, grabbing the remote from her and turning the television off. Then you tried to set the remote in the air, but instead of hovering like it should have done, it dropped to the ground. 

“Alright, commander Y/l/n. It’s dinner time,” one of the NASA hospital nurses said, bringing in a tray for you. Kelley thanked them as they left since you were too dazed to think of it.  

“God this food sucks, I hate jello ” you grumbled, lifting the spoon in front of your face (fully expecting it to float so you could take your bite) and dropping it as you want to open the pudding packet instead. “I just want a big juicy cheeseburger. With bacon and onions and-“ You trailed off, your mouth watering at the thought. You hadn’t had proper food in 8 months, and it had been your major cravings food. 

“A side of diabetes” she scoffed, picking up the discarded remote and spoon, “And are you going to keep dropping things everywhere?” She asked, carefully filling a spoon with chocolate pudding and guiding it to your mouth. 

“Fuck Newton. Things are supposed to float,” 

****

You loved the soft skin behind Kelley’s ear. It was so smooth, and it always smelt like a mix of her perfume, shampoo, and something inherently Kelley. It was a bonus that your exploration of the area always sent a shiver down her spine. You ran your nose along the skin there, nibbling on her ear before moving down her neck. Leaving little kisses along your path. Kelley sighed, sleepily scratching your scalp and tilting her head to the side to encourage you to continue. 

“You,” Kelley said. “ I like you.”

“Hm, I’m glad. It would be kinda scary if you were doing this with someone you didn’t like,” you mumbled against her skin, unwilling to part with it for even a moment. Kelley giggled at the tickling sensation. How you still had so much energy after you had thoroughly worn her out getting… reacquainted she would never know.

 “But what do you like most. Tell me, babe,” You said, moving your lips a little lower, towards where her shoulder and neck met. 

“I love… your ass. It’s out of this world.” She said sleepily, reaching around to grab her favorite asset of yours. 

“Well, it has been,” You laughed, pulling away reluctantly so you could look her in the eyes. 

“Shut up you goof,” She rolled her eyes, grabbing a pillow and whacking you lightly. You fell over dramatically, pulling her so she was on top of you. 

“Hm, I’m your goof,” 

“Yeah. You are. And babe?” She smiled down at you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. 

“Hmm?” You hummed against her lips. She leaned back to look you in the eyes, one forearm across your chest and her other hand beside your head supporting her. 

“No more space travel for a while?” 

 “Pinky promise,” You said, wiggling your hand so your littlest finger connected with hers. 

“Good. I can’t believe I was dating someone from TEXAS for a while.” Kelley pretended to shudder. “Jus think, one of your coworkers might have been a Houston dash supporter!”

[irkenheretic]

*whispers from my hiding spot in the bathroom drain* Spill the Zib teaaaaaaa

oh shit u were in the bathroom drain? sorry bout the monster piss i just took :( anywaye im either still kinda drunk or kinda hungover idk how day drinking works BUT ill give this my best shot

so like. its really funny to me how the irken empire does a lot of the same things zib does, but on a planetary scale instead of a dimensional one. but with the irkens theres a bit of an argument to be made.... not a very GOOD one but its there....

maybe the tallest only do it bcos the control brains make them or thats just how they were expected to work. (ik ik nuremberg defense but at least its Something.) maybe they genuinley need planets for a specific resource and cant ally with the denizens for whatever reason. idk!! the POINT is that theres an argument to be made about the WHY of the empires operations

zib? zib just. uuh.

wants to kill all irkens. all of em

in every dimension

cuzzz idk. fuck tha empire.

hes totally willing to let entire dimensions die because Irkens Bad Everyone Is In Danger, including his own family. including HIMSELF. including any subjugated species hes TRYING to save. or subjugated irkens

anyone who knows shit about dicks about multiverse theory knows that yk. when they say infinite possibilities they really mean INFINITE. whats zib gonna do to the dimension where the irkens ARENT a planet conquering empire? is he just gonna let them be or is he gonna eradicate them too cuz WHAT IF they do something??

also its really fuckin rich that he hates the irkens for being conquerers that r destructive n shit. like dude ur country dropped nukes on japan maybe fix ur own fuckin planet before going after aliens. yk, save the world? that thing u wanted to do??

tldnr hes compelling but yall HAD to make it into a he needs a family uwu kinda thing

also no shade but i think zib being accepted in the membrane family is gonna make things worse. imagine u think these ppl care about u and its gonna be Different in this dimension but ur dad is still the same ole neglectful jackoff he always was and ur alternate self only wants to either study you OR drag u on Hunting Zim Adventures so u can never rly truly move on from ur past. gaz is ok but knowing dib, zib would only engage w her to talk abt his own shit which would make her hostile nd then hed blame her even tho its his fault for not giving a single shit abt his sister n her interests literally ever

[bigskydreaming]

So, how far do you think Jasons booktastes goes? Is he like a hard-core classic fan or does it variate between his moods?

Absolutely the latter, IMO. I know there’s a tendency to lean hard into the idea that Jason’s just all about the classics, but I think overall we have a rather finite and white European and American skewed 'definition’ of what constitutes a classic in the first place, and you know me and my classist rantings.....unless you don’t but whatever, now you do, I’m personally leery of over-emphasizing Jason’s sophisticated reading palette or whatever as like, some kind of pushback against his otherwise lower-class origin because I don’t think its necessary. I mean who knows if that’s how its intended in any given specific situation, but I definitely feel like there’s a general undercurrent of that threaded through a lot of Jason’s depictions overall that I’m like ‘no thanks’ to.

I think Jason’s all over the place as a reader. His only defining characteristic as a reader IMO is that he’s a voracious one, and he reads anything and everything he can get his hands on, and finds something appealing and in new and different ways in every genre. I think as his skills develop as Robin and a detective, he hungrily reads mystery novels to see how quickly he can figure out who did it. I think he reads true crime to try and solve it ahead of the book’s conclusions the same way we’ve seen Dick solve cases watching America’s Most Wanted. 

I think before traveling was an option for Jason, living with Bruce, he enjoyed travel guides/pieces and nonfiction, to get a sense of places far away from Gotham. I think once he was living with Bruce and encountering colleagues of his dad’s who were literally from other planets and had advanced technology and magic, he had a growing personal collection of fantasy and sci-fi books just so when he did get a chance to join Bruce when he was around other heroes he could be like “okay I read in this one book where they did this spell are there any real spells like that huh huh?” or “so in this one series they had a spaceship that could do this do you know of any spaceships that are like that like could that be real?” I think he loves mythology because a) he’s gay duh and b) Diana is an actual Amazon, like why wouldn’t you love mythology when you could fact-check Edith Hamilton against an actual Amazon it just makes sense.

I think he’s got shelves full of old-school dimestore pulp fiction novels, the long-running series kinds, because he doesn’t think cheap equals bad and also they’re just fun. And also also, he loves the serialized nature of a lot of works because one of the biggest evidences of stability in his young life, before ADITF, like, one of the things that finally got him thinking like wow this is like how I live now huh, was the realization that when before, the unpredictable nature of his life meant he kinda just had to read things in one go and not count on ever being able to follow up on them, like......when living with Bruce, he suddenly just realized one day that like, all those series that have so many more books in them than I could ever read in one go, the kind of things you’re meant to RETURN to, to follow along over periods of months and years.....I can do that now, here. 

And even after his return as the Red Hood, once he slowly started settling into his new life and put his focus not just towards reacting to his trauma but trying to build beyond that again and have actual hobbies, interests, etc.....one of the biggest evidences to him that he could do that, be more than JUST the Red Hood, was literally no different from when he first had that epiphany living with Bruce. When he looked into all those series that he perhaps never got to finish, or that were still ongoing when he was killed, and found an unexpected continuity in the reminder and awareness that they were still out there, waiting for him to finish them, that they were still being published, available for him to catch up......that his life had ended, but then he came back so maybe it was more just interrupted. That so many things are different now from how they were before, but some things are still the same, that he’s so different now but in some ways he IS still the same.

Like yeah, sure, I do think he’s got plenty of Jane Austen on his shelves, but he’s also got Octavia Butler and Ursula K. LeGuin and Mary Shelley not once but twice....nah let’s go wild and make it five times....cuz I think he’s got very specific SYSTEMS for how his books are arranged, one of those particular things that arose from the awareness that he actually COULD be particular about his books, that it was entirely up to him......and once he found out that Frankenstein’s Monster existed he was like okay but is the book based on that or was that based on the book, did art imitate life or did life imitate art I HAVE TO KNOW IF IT GOES IN FICTION OR NON-FICTION! And so Alfred and Bruce and Dick and Barbara all had the same idea of like, why not both, both is good, and gave him an extra copy and so he ended up with like five copies of Frankenstein.

Also, literally every time he ends up with a case or aware of a case where vampires or werewolves or aliens or gods are involved, you can find a whole new section of fiction and nonfiction on the related subject in his room, and he’s scribbled all throughout the margins like LOL WELL THIS ISNT RIGHT and NOPE GOT THIS WRONG and IF THIS AUTHOR WAS ALIVE TODAY I WOULD TELL THEM RIGHT TO THEIR STUPID FACE ABOUT HOW NOT ACCURATE THEIR SAFETY PROTOCOLS FOR DEALING WITH VAMPIRES ARE LIKE THATS THE LAST TIME I BRING GARLIC TO A VAMPIRE FIGHT AND THINK IM DOING ANYTHING BUT SMELLING LIKE A TASTY PASTA FLAVORED TREAT, LIKE THANKS FOR NOTHING YOU ABSOLUTE HACK.

(Also I think Jason thinks Poe’s a pretentious boor, mostly because I find it funny to script scenes in my head where Jason just goes OFF about various authors and his Opinions on them, but he still likes his stuff for the mood and is like DONT @ ME, IM COMPLICATED, but this is entirely because of an old personal headcanon of mine where like, the frequent references to the gothic nature of Gotham tied to Jason’s very Gothammite nature resulted in my brain doing a What If where Jason either post-Robin-where-he-didn’t-die or even post-Red Hood picks a raven themed ensemble and calls himself something like Nevermore, and is like, Caw Caw, Im Gotham, Bitch).

In summation, I think Jason is eclectic as hell, and like, if its a book, and he’s got the time, he’s gotta read it because duh, that’s just the law of the jungle, he’s like lololol what there’s a book and I’m just what, just not going to read it? That’s what you think? LMAO that makes no sense you sound so dumb right now.

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

Team Chaotix found out how to Time-Travel and are (probably?) using their powers for good

[I.D.: Screenshot of Shadow the Hedgehog, the cutscene before “Mad Matrix.” Shadow approaches Team Chaotix, standing in front of Eggman’s computer. Vector says “Well, we need your help to hack into [Eggman’s] computer... and don’t ask why!” End I.D.] 

What a title, huh? Let me complicate this more by explaining this is going to deal near exclusively with the 2005 game Shadow the Hedgehog and Chaotix’s role in it. 

My thesis statement for this is as thus: In Shadow the Hedgehog, all endings are actually technically canon; the universe was reset back at the end of them all until the True Ending was reached, and the universe was reset by none other than Team Chaotix. 

Is this theory going to make at least two insane reaches? Yes. Is it a crack theory? uuuuuuuuh depends on how people react to it 

So, let’s get into the logistics of how and why I think this went down.

Part One: What was Team Chaotix’s Mission?

Team Chaotix appears very briefly in ShTH; Charmy is on a solo mission on “Prison Island,” the whole team seems to be in “Mad Matrix” with Vector in  “Cosmic Fall”, and they appear briefly aboard the ARK at the end of the game. (Which... I don’t think they left? Were they up there when Shadow isolated himself inside? Is that why he wasn’t gone for long, did he get sick of their shit and pilot them back to the planet--) 

The point is, from the few appearances of the team in the game, we know that they are on a mission, one so secret/confidential that no team members tell anyone what it is- even Charmy, who has the impulse control of a kid left alone in a room with a million buttons. 

Of course, with their appearances, we can figure out some elements of their mission, and it becomes quite clear that their mission has something to do with the Space Colony ARK. 

Charmy’s solo mission, for starters, in “Prison Island.” Charmy is there to collect five discs from GUN, discs that I don’t believe the player ever finds out the contents of. 

[I.D.: Three screenshots from Shadow the Hedgehog, of Charmy’s dialogue in the “Prison Island” stage. He says, “Heeey, Shadow! I gotta ask you something! Vector told me that he wants to find five top secret discks... but, like... what’s a top secret disk?” End i.D.]

As the Hero Route of Prison Island immediately transitions to “Mad Matrix”, the implication is the GUN discs have something to do with hacking into Eggman’s computer. 

Oh, yeah, the team needed to hack into the files of Eggman’s computer, with Espio having to gather data himself. Again, what they were looking for is never revealed, but Vector insists that it’s urgent. 

[I.D.: Screenshots from the beginning of the “Mad Matrix” cutscene. Espio is sitting at a computer, attempting to hack. Vector says, “Are you done yet? At this rate, the entire day will be wasted.” Espio turns and says, “Hey, back off! Data retrieval isn’t exactly my specialty.” End i.D.]

Vector attempts to locate the ARK’s computer room, again for no stated reason. 

[I.D.: Vector at the beginning of the “Cosmic Fall” route. He says to Shadow, “We’ve got to make it to the computer room before this place collapses!” End I.D.]

Upon it being found in the True Ending, Team Chaotix once again hack inside the computer. After Gerald’s video begins playing, we don’t see them again. 

So, to recap: they are all gathering information from GUN- which was pretty much the only organization with any information on the colony- and Eggman, a member of the Robotnik family; with the fact they were later on the ARK and stealing GUN documents, it’s likely they were looking for information on Gerald on Eggman’s computer. 

So, while we don’t have the explicit mission, we can clarify that it definitely has something to do with the ARK. An important question, though, which might be able to clarify their entire mission, is who is their client? 

Part Two: Who Sent Team Chaotix on this mission?

Team Chaotix’s missions are almost exclusively client-based, and even if we say that they don’t have one, there has to be something that tipped them off that they needed to get to the ARK. 

The client themself is a bit of a mystery- it can’t be any non-chaotix main character, as literally nobody seems wise to what they’re up to. And considering Charmy was, uh, pretty much literally stealing GUN files, we can safely assume they’re not working for GUN. 

But their client had to be someone who knew there was important information on the ARK, which was pretty much unknown to everyone before SA2, and afterwards, even if we assume the ARK incident is common knowledge, there has to be something specific the Chaotix were sent after. 

And something important. 

In case you haven’t played ShTH, during the entire game, the world is being attacked by demon aliens intent on murdering and eating everything on the planet while also setting it on fire. You’d think that Chaotix would want to deal with that above a relatively unimportant mission. So whatever they were doing was more important than fighting/hiding from/investigating the apocalyptic monsters attacking them. 

What would be important than the, as I said, apocalyptic demon monsters? 

Potentially... a way to stop them. 

[I.D.: Screenshots from a cutscene in the Last Story. Team Chaotix are attempting to hack into the ARK’s computer. Vector says, “Espio, we need you to focus, cuz if we don’t hurry all the data we recovered will be lost.” End I.D.]

So. You know how in every one of my metas there’s a part where I leap off the deep end? 

Let me just say this outright. 

What if the one who sent them on their mission... was none other than Gerald Robotnik?

So, here’s my mission statement. 

Gerald Robotnik, sensing that something bad was going to happen on the ARK, made his video message for Shadow. We know this because of, you know, the content of the message. 

After the ARK massacre, Gerald obviously cracked, but left behind some hint of the video’s existence, or a hint of a way to defeat the Black Arms that nobody picked up cause nobody knew they existed except the people on the ARK. Who, you know, GUN massacred. Thanks GUN. 

What the hint exactly was I’m not sure-- in Sonic X he wrote a shitton of stuff on the walls of his prison island jail cell, maybe he left something there. [Something to note-- Sonic X begun airing before production of ShTH, and it second and third seasons, the ones featuring Shadow, would probably be being made while ShTH was in production.] 

[I.D.: Screenshots from Sonic X of Gerald Robotnik’s prison island cell, which has multiple scientific notes scribbled across the walls. End I.D.]

We already know the Chaotix know of Prison Island and can get there from Charmy’s appearance in his route, so them being there and seeing something left behind isn’t impossible. 

So this hint was discovered by the Chaotix, who pieced together that this ARK message would give the information needed to defeat the Black Arms-- I believe they knew that there was a message specifically, as they seem unsurprised and happy when the message appears at the end of the game, meaning it was among the things they were looking for, if not the only thing. They also figured out that the only one who could defeat said Black Arms was Shadow. Hence why they’re not only hacking into the computers of two Robotniks, but they, in different timelines, accompany and assist Shadow in his little angst party missions. 

[I.D.: Screenshots from the end of the “Cosmic Fall” Hero Route. As Shadow walks away, depressed that he’s what he considers a failed experiment, Vector says, “Hey... don’t go there... yet! Things may not be what they seem. You could be...” End I.D.]

But then why wouldn’t they tell Shadow what they were up to? Sure, he has amnesia, so you can’t just say “your granddad might have a secret way to kill the demon aliens,” but you could say “we think there’s a message for you.” So why didn’t they? 

Because, my dear friends, they only have twenty-four hours, and it takes quite a while to explain and prove time travel to an amnesiac hedgehog. 

Part Three: What Route leads to the True Ending? The Time Travel One 

Here’s where we get into crack. 

Let’s put everything together and then go into Connie’s HellBrainMode™

The Chaotix’s mission is so secret that either they didn’t dare tell Charmy, or the ADHD 6yo understood that he had to shut up for once (and I say that with love) and thus not a single one of them dares reveal it. 

The Mission definitely pertains to the ARK, Black Arms, Robotnik Family, and Shadow. 

The Chaotix vaguely knew of the message that was needed to defeat the aliens, and so they were attempting to hack Robotnik computers to find it. 

For some reason, they don’t even tell Shadow what’s up, even though due to their penchant for traveling with him and protecting him, they likely are aware he’s a bit important at the moment. 

...so why does Shadow the Hedgehog have so many endings anyway? 

On that last point... ShTH has an insane amount of routes, but really only eleven endings, with #11 being the final, canon ending. But all the endings are plausible routes, no matter how goddamn dark they can get. It seems the only thing that separates the endings is Shadow’s choices; whether he remains neutral, assists the Black Arms, or fights for Earth. Of course, the true ending involves him fighting for Earth, his friends, and Maria’s final wish, but the path he takes over the day of the Black Arms invasion needs to lead him there. 

Does that mean he must follow a Hero route to reach that? By the time he gathers all the chaos emeralds, he can’t be in the depths of despair or convinced he’s an android, etc.; he’s definitely not in one of the endings where Eggman or Sonic die, seeing as they help him out in the True Ending. So if Eggman and Sonic are alive and Shadow’s not literally losing all hope in everything, we have to assume neither a Dark nor Neutral route was taken, as Dark tends to end with dead Sonic and Neutral tends to end with Dead Eggman. 

Something interesting-- several Hero Routes involve helping the Chaotix. Gathering the discs for Charmy, helping Espio collect necessary data, helping Vector find the infamous computer room... Of course, most Hero Routes involve helping your friends when you see them, but the Chaotix specifically are looking for GUN/Ark/Robotnik/BlackArms information. While they will not share this information with Shadow, helping them puts him on the Hero Route, aka closer to the True Ending. 

But which ending leads to the true ending? None of them, and yet all of them. 

None of them end in the place where the true ending begins-- Shadow alone with the Chaos Emeralds, ready to discover the truth about his past, and about to be ambushed by an uninjured Black Doom while his friends are about to burst in to try and save him, having apparently discovered more about what’s happening. 

Hero endings end with Shadow defeating Black Doom earlier, Neutral ends with depressed Shadow and dead Eggman, Dark ends with angry Shadow and dead Sonic. So a whole nother timeline was taken. Then what was the point of the first ten? 

Well, through the first ten, you do learn certain information, don’t you? So who’s to say someone else going through the first ten endings wouldn’t learn something as well? If someone could, say, reset the day to the beginning every time Shadow has an angst moment and fails to save the world, and then use what they learned the last time in order to try and steer Shadow on a better path... 

And in the True Ending, when Shadow and his friends are attacked by Black Doom, Shadow hears voices in his head-- voices from several different routes. Almost as if something in his mind clicks, something that feeds every route into him to make a final decision. 

[I.D.: Gif from the Last Story of Shadow the Hedgehog; Shadow is on the ground, and voices are heard, represented here by captions, which read, in order: “I will avenge those whose blood has been spilled!” “Did I... die?” “That’s why you were created...” and “Please help me, Shadow.” End I.D.] 

So what route leads to the last ending? All of them. All of them, so that the information gathered... gets the Chaotix on the ARK. To get the message out to Shadow. 

Part Four: The Timeline of the Chaotix Time Travel 

Every route begins with the same cutscene-- the beginning of the day, as the Black Arms invade... as their comet gets close enough to reach the planet. Let’s say, hmm, Gerald, for example, realized something might go horribly wrong when the Black Arms showed up if Shadow was traumatized and confused, and tried to make some kind of safeguard. The safeguard ended up being a reset button,* but it relied on the position of the Black Arms’ comet-- so thus, you can only reset to the beginning of its approach. The beginning of the day. And only the one(s) pressing the button remembers the reset, that could be an issue. 

*Note: we’re using “reset button” as a general term, obviously it doesn’t have to be a literal button. 

The Chaotix break into the remains of Prison Island sometime before the Black Arms attack; perhaps they sensed something was up, perhaps they noticed some weird stuff was going on, who knows. But they get in there, and find Gerald’s notes, and figure out some important stuff-- the Black Arms are invading, there’s a way to stop them on the ARK, and... oh, what’s this, this thing that the GUN scientists could never figure out how to use but hid away in case they figured it out one day. It’s a comet reset button? 

Oh, comet, like the one right overhead-- oops. 

The Chaotix are unable to stop the comet from arriving in the first place. So Vector puts together all the pieces-- “ultimate lifeform,” fifty-year timeskiip, whatever hints Gerald left-- and figures out that, likely, Gerald knew about the Black Arms, how to stop them, and that his ultimate lifeform, Shadow, is the key to saving the planet. 

He sends Charmy to retrieve discs from GUN involving the ARK and Gerald on Prison Island, and then sets Espio to hacking into Eggman’s systems. Once they’ve got the info they need, they hop on a spaceship and race to the ARK. Thing is... each of these steps could go wrong in any way. Charmy doesn’t find the discs, Espio can’t reach the data, Vector can’t find the computer room, they fail to reach the ARK, or, above all, Shadow shows up and fucks up their shit. 

Thankfully, the Chaotix have the day reset. Every time the planet starts to go to shit, Vector resets. Shadow just killed Sonic? Reset it, now, before those demons crash into Earth. Omega just texted Rouge to tell her that Shadow is convinced he’s destined to lead a robot uprising? Reset. Shadow is depressed thinking he’s a failed experiment that never should have been created and thus literally falls into such a state he can’t or won’t fight the Black Arms? Gotta reset that shit. They reset at least ten times, each time gaining more information and figuring out what they have to do. Charmy gets Shadow’s help in one route, then in the next timeline repeat remembers the locations. Espio knows how to break into Eggman’s computer. Vector figures out where they need to go. They figure out where the Chaos Emeralds are and where and when to get them to Shadow. 

The eleventh and final reset begins, and Chaotix informs the Sonic Squad that the Black Arms need the Chaos Emeralds to destroy the planet and that they need to go keep an eye on Shadow. Somehow they get Eggman onboard-- idk they probably just namedropped Gerald and he listened to whatever they had to say. Once they’re sent off, they rush to the ARK. 

Shadow, in the Last Route, has gathered the Chaos Emeralds off the ARK, somewhere on the below planet. Everyone else is on Earth, including Sonic, Black Doom, Eggman... 

Everyone but the Chaotix. 

The Chaotix, who continue working on this Big Case even after the Black Comet has descended through Earth’s atmosphere and the Black Arms are killing everyone on the planet. 

The Chaotix, who are trying to hack into Gerald’s computer, looking for something important. 

The Chaotix, who show absolutely no surprise or concern when Gerald’s message appears, implying that this could be what they were looking for. 

The Chaotix, who are not seen again after the message is played. 

Because their work is done. 

Shadow’s choices lead him to make the right decision, but that final push he needs to defeat Black Doom is Gerald and Maria’s message. And once it’s played, he saves the goddamn world. 

And then is stuck on the ARK with the Chaotix until the next game. Oops. 

[ichayalovesyou]

Why Does God Need A Starship? (Live Reaction):

I always thought Sybok was cool and interesting and NOW I’m sure! You know it’s times like these that I’m grateful I kinda came back into the Star Trek fandom on my own, because I don’t have to deal with Opinions of older/louder Trekkies. This one kinda has a lukewarm reputation but I’m getting the vibe that I’ll genuinely enjoy it.

Yet again Bones is serving up some LOOKS damn! Look at these elder gays! Spock has rocket boots, amazing. “Because it’s there” and then falling off the goddamn mountain is such a James Tiberius Kirk thing to do 😂 “HI BONES!” These guys omfg. OH MY GOD SO WE DO SEE CAITIANS OUTSIDE THE CARTOONS?? Hell yeah! Also pole dancing to no music, is... weird. Lmao. Also okay I’m sorry Sybok is cool! Sybok is cool and interesting and I really like him! (Not morally obviously dude is shady as all fuck, but a cool dude nontheless!) Always fascinated by Cult Leader type villains, especially when they point out valid criticisms about the society from which they came (important distinction is that the CAUSE is not vilified, but the person and their means, something M****l has largely forgotten)

Awww I may ship Hikura, but Uhura & Scotty are also cute as hell!! Awwwwwww!!!! Old married couples can be so freaking cute. Chekov & Sulu are LOST ohhhh my god this is hilarious, these two idiots. Also can we talk about how Koenig’s eyebrows are slowly gaining sentience and Takei aged like fine wine? Lol. THE HOLY TRINITY OF ELDER GAYS ARE CAMPINGGGG! I’m- oh my god they’re so cute. “Marshmelon” this is cute as hell oh my god. They’re indulging and messing with Spock at the same time I’m dead! They’re singing ohh my god this gonna give me cavities with how sweet it is!!!

This Klingon dude is frickin ROCKING the eyeliner! Bruhhhh was the frickin spotlight necessary! Leave the gays alone SHHHH they’re SLEEPING!! Lmao. Yo I’ll be real this movie starts incredibly slowly but I seriously do not mind, it’s relaxing to not have to worry about missing important details if you look away for a second, it’s nice. WAIT? Does Jim’s shirt say GOT MILK?!!? Oh no, it says go climb a rock, oh thank god [“fatty milkers” flashbacks]

Seriously McCoy is just radiating so much old southern lady/gay energy in this movie and I love it so freaking much “if you ask me (and you haven’t) this is a horrible idea” he sounds like my North Carolina living Meemaw. Wow you can see Spock low-key taking psychic damage from seeing Sybok 😲 V’tosh Ka’tur of the highest order huh? Still disturbing that his government literally cast him out, that’s a red flag 😬. What happened with Sybok is probably a lot of why Spock was pressured to be as Vulcan as he was, I’m sure Sybok was a massive scandal/shame for Sarek, and knowing him, he’d end up making that his kids’ problem not his 🙄

Oh neat!! Chekov is in the in the captain’s chair. Oh this is the song they replaced Nichols’s voice for 😤 but also GIRL THAT WAS BADASS AND THAT SONG WAS A BOP! Quick question, wow these “alien” horses are somehow even worse than the unicorn dog (also it’s a desert planet, wouldn’t it be better to have, like, alien camels or something?) This dude’s Klingon is freakin impeccable btw! He’s really got the vibe down! Jim did you forget how fuckin bananas strong Vulcans are??? Sybok went like 😡☹️ when Spock pointed that laser rifle at him 😂😂😂 again even tho I know Scotty and Uhura are married but it’s scenes like getting held hostage right there where they radiate such POWER COUPLE energy GAWD! 🤩

Stay out of this Bones we’re having a lover’s quarrel! Jim is taking fucking psychic damage from this entire conversation lol. Okayyyy whatever Sybok is doing is definitely some kind of mind control type thing, that shit is creepy af no thank youuuuuu (spores anyone?). Oh my god Spock & Jim are so married lmao, that “I’m sorry” Vulcan kiss in the brig man Aw. (Oh man Magic’s of mega-tsu got devani mixed by that comment lame!) SCOTTYYYYYY!! YAS!

Yay rocket boot glomp! Lmfao! Sybok needs to brush up on his earth history Columbus did NOT figure out the world is round 🙄 Ah Scotty being like “listen, you’re not okay rn so I’m not really down for whatever you think you wanna do right now it can wait until you’re right in the head again” and they could’ve not done that and it would’ve been creepy (especially by today’s standards) but they didn’t! And that was awesome!

Bones being skeptical and has every right to be! He’s faced down would be gods and would-be messiahs before! Also I’ve seen people judge Bones for being the first to cave but Sybok totally did that shit to him without consent! He didn’t go back on his beliefs, Sybok forced him to! BONES PROTECTION SQUAD IS HERE AND ITS ME! Oh Bones, man, poor babeyyyy (fuck Sybok!) 😭😭😭 OH MY GOD BONESSSSSS Sybok leave him alone! Goddamnit! Leave him alone!

I think Jim can see Spock’s Sybok induced vision cuz they’re ✨Bonded✨ (it didn’t seem like they could see Bones’s, other than what Bones was doing). JIM KNOWS SO MUCH BETTER! ITS HOW HE BEAT THE SPORES ITS HIS CORE! I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE HIM FOR IT!!! Spock 😍😍😍 he’s like, you’re bullshit happiness pill doesn’t work on me cuz I am whole for the first time in my life, and I love my husband, and I already learned my lesson decades ago 💚🖖🏻💚 (who knew how important the character development from This Side of Paradise AND Return To Tommorow would be??? Hell yeah!)

I love Scotty so much 🥰 hardcore badass Hufflepuff from beginning to end! Also I hope Sybok appears in SNW that could be really really interesting if they do it right! ITS GOD (derogatory) REVERE HIM! Oh here comes that legendary question!! “What dies God need with a starship?” Red flag don’t call Jim a creature! Oh shit god has laxer eyes oh no lmao! Bones snaps out of whatever Sybok did to him when “God” hurts his friends and we LOVE HIM FOR ITTTT! Awww Spock & Sybok and be saaaaad, oh shit! Into the lightning to fight a mirror of yourself like Lazarus in that one episode!

OH SHIT THE KLINGONS ARE HERE! Oh damn Spock just swore a cuss the right way, at a Klingon General no less! General dude just went “caotain tell Kirk you are sorry!” LMAO! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS 😂😂😂😍 KISS DAMNIT!! God this whole after scene is so good, maybe the god is the friends we made along the way. “I lost a brother once” you also lost SAM dummy, I know you were just telling Spock you love him but still. SHUT UP SPOCK IS PLAYING ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT ON HIS LYRE??

Okay, seriously, I unironically love this movie, it might be my favorite out of the ones I’ve seen so far actually. TMP felt like the movies getting their sea legs, but it was slow and messy, it wasn’t as thought provoking as it wanted to be (aside from Spock’s wonderful arc in that film). WoK & TSFS are amazing for drama and angst and Spirk content, but they weren’t really asking the big questions Star Trek is wonderful for. Then The Voyage Home is just plain silly and fun and wholesome. But this, this movie had depth! The whole premise is “what is god and is there is one?” I LOVE that as someone who has a very complicated relationship with spirituality. I also already loved the TOS episodes This Side of Paradise, Return To Tomorrow, The Omega Glory and The Way To Eden, and this movie had the best of those concepts! Sybok was such a fascinating antagonist/anti-hero and I hope we get to see him explored more on screen one day, even if it’s just through Discovery/SNW flashbacks. It may have started off slow and it’s not without its flaws but this felt like the Star Trekkiest TOS Star Trek movie so far!