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#not like explicitly but im still adding it???
osseincactus · 3 days
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I have no caption... just accept them and their poochyena :)
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j-esbian · 5 months
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frustrating how so many craft books have a section about "how to sell what you've made"
like on one hand i get it because the person writing the book has obviously made their craft a full-time job. and they might have some tips and tricks that might be useful, and there are people out there who might be trying to start a small business out of it
but on the other hand it's just exhausting and feels like another voice saying "what's the point of having a hobby if you're not going to monetize it"
#the one of those that rly boils my blood. that i still think about all the time. almost ten years later#the art of language invention by david peterson lmao. fuck that. it is NOT actually a helpful resource if youre trying to get into conlang#in the intro he pretty explicitly was like 'yeah i'm only writing this bc the publishing house approached me bc#i made up some languages for the game of thrones show and that's popular so they thought it would sell'#the meat of the book itself is pretty rudimentary stuff iirc. 'here's the ipa chart. this is what a morpheme is.'#some cool stuff in there about how to build your own font and mess with the kerning to make cursive but it was a program i dont have so#and at the end. hoooooo boy. this is where u can tell they told him to put in this kind of section bc he basically straight up said#'if you're reading this because you want to learn how to build a fantasy conlang dont bother :)#if you weren't on this specific forum in 2002 youll never get it. just hire a Real Conlanger instead'#like. that absolutely colored the rest of the book preceding it bc the entire thing was stuff i had literally just learned#in the intro to linguistics class that inspired me to want to learn how to make a language. so it was nothing new#and the added antagonism of basically saying 'if you dont already know how to do this IM not gonna help bc you'd be competition'#again i understand why he had that attitude bc that's probably how the publisher pitched it in the first place#'this is going to be a book for the average joe who knows nothing about language mechanics and might have aspirations#of writing a story with its own language (because obviously gameofthrones was the first to do that /s) and is wondering how to do it'#but just a very weird attitude to have#mine
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cyberbullyinc · 2 years
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😐
#ive been added to this gc for the 3rd or 4th time after i explicitly asked to NOT be added back bc im always fucking getting ignored like#last time the person who added me was like omg i hope this is ok and i was like no it’s actually not ok i dont wanna be added back please#dont add me back and she was like omg im so sorry i totally understand :( and she did it again 😑#the reason i didnt wanna be added back was bc i considered them my best friends at some point but ever since like the p*ndemic started#everything just went downhill and on one hand i understand they have their own lives and don’t have time to answer etc but on the other hand#they never had time to reply to MYYYYYY messages specifically 🙃 and it hurt bitch to be always the one ignored#and the reason i havent left this time like i just didnt care to be added back was bc idc anymore like alsjfjfk im still in contact to#whoever i wanna be in contact with i still text someone individually like i don’t need to be in a group setting to be friends with this#person and she’s mentioned a bunch of times how dead it is lmao so i was like wtv i do send a text once in a blue moon but it’s not as#active as it was when i originally left so it’s not obvious when im ignored lol BUT!!!!!!#the person who added me back…. the person who IGNORED my boundaries and request to leave me the fuck alone has ignored every single message#ive sent since she added me back :)#like she literally just wants public for her little show and she did this even before i left and was the main person why i left lmao bc the#rest were like going through stuff and i was like u cant be here i get it but she’s always ANYWAYS SO ABOUT ME!!!#i literally sent a text i think yesterday? and she didn’t reply to it at all but she just started talking about herself like 😑 WHY DID U ADD#ME BACK!!!! u dont ‘miss US’ lmfao u miss that i kept the gc alive which gave u attention !!!!#i dont want to be ur fucking spectator go post it on fb#anyways end of rant 😌
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manicpixiefelix · 9 months
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 4.
Summary: While Oliver may struggle to fit into your group of friends as a whole, he seems to fit perfectly by you and Felix's sides. Farleigh grows more unhappy with this arrangement as the weeks go on, and finally Felix has enough of his attitude towards you, and you accidentally overhear. Upset at both Farleigh's attitude and how Felix had to fight with him on your behalf, Felix spends the rest of the night making sure you know just how much you're worth.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: drinking/intoxication, smut but somehow i managed to still write around the reader's AGAB??? still explicit tho (reader bottoming), and 'dog' being used to demean the reader once.
A/N: 3825 words. it hasn't been even 24 hours since the last chapter. im making good time lol. i promise there will be a lot more oliver in the future (i already have part of chapter 5 that is VERY reader/oliver) but this is an especially Felix/Reader chapter. i know its kind of going slow, we're still only in the first bit of oxford, but it will pick up, i just like really getting into the character interactions. as always, this is unedited, and i'd love any feedback you may have!!
Taglist: @strangemaximoff @renaissance-mama @tsach @malscorner @xhoneymoonx134 @yelchinweasleylothbrok @tarriea @florencediet @butitsbetterifyoudoittoem @belladonnadarksshade @fandom-multiamory @snazzynacho @jubileexoxo @soocore @be-lla-vie @nightingale2124 @willow-sages @null4ndv0id @gracieluvthemoon @day2dream @marvellover98 @navixfr @bitxhinthecomments @daintylovers @alesunsets @noturningbacknow @d0llysposts @alilcloudy @callsignwidow @moviequotes23 @325575 @bonnieblue0606 @osoqueen125 @hot-dino-nuggies @darkness-falls-xo @mattymurderdocks @flowerecs @weepingwitchofthewest @ilovemydinoboi @marsmallow433 @king0flies @cashtons-wife @jessicascharacterbananza @gossvedd
TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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Oliver, by nature, does not appear to be an incredibly tactile individual. Getting shitfaced at your first proper meeting at the pub aside, and not counting the nights he joins you all at the club, he seems perfectly gentle and demure, always taking up as little space as possible, never really reaching out for another person unless they make the first move.
Except with you.
It's never overt, nothing about Oliver is ever overt, he's not throwing his arms around you every time he sees you like Felix, not tucking himself close to you as you all walk to the pub the way the girls of the group liked to do, nor is he leaning on you and treating you like furniture the way Farleigh liked to expression his familiarity. It was small, constant contact. Sitting too close in a booth, knees knocking under the table, shoulder checking you at the bar and staying that close as you both wait for your drinks, studying together in the library, sitting across from one another and his leg sticks out under the table, his ankle reaching yours.
For you it's normal, honestly it's a little toned-down from what you're used to, but there's always something in his eyes when he first makes contact, like he wants to memorise your reaction. Oliver is always memorising, always watching, always observing. There's something almost voyeuristic about his company in those quiet moments, but you're used to being watched, you're used to putting on a show, so you find yourself matching his energy, giving a coy smile when you meet his unreadable gaze. Underneath the table you'll press your ankle back against his, or knock your knee against his with purpose, or lean against his at the bar, acknowledge the contact, relish in it for the moment.
Felix, however, is the king of overt, and has never in his life waited for someone else to reach out for him. Every chance he has he'll pour his focus and attention onto Oliver. The more he learns about Oliver, the more insistent he seems to have him around, even if the rest of the friend group is less than enthusiastic. None of them would ever say as much to Felix, except of course Farleigh, but Felix grows ever more protective of Oliver, and Farleigh learns to keep his mouth shut in the end.
It takes you a long while to see the difference, actually it takes you a long while to realise there even was one. But there was. For all Oliver would orbit around Felix, looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky, he didn't touch Felix unless Felix touched him first. Call it reverence or respect, you just remember the way he'd shrunk away from Felix's bike when you'd first met him, how he'd shrunk away from your handshake after he'd dropped it, always weighing up every decision, never leaping without calculating the risks. He'd rather be touched than reach out and get rejected.
When you finally realise this, that feeling from the pub hits you again, sharp, bright, and intrigued. Everything's already warm and a bit fuzzy, the two of you sitting on Felix's bed, back to the wall, sharing a bottle of orange juice that's also half vodka, pregaming for a party and waiting for Felix to get out of the shower. If this were anyone else, chatter would be flowing brightly between you both, but you'd found early on that you settle into comfortable silence well beside Oliver. The CD player is playing that pop punk CD Annabel leant Felix last week, and Oliver is focused on playing with the rips in the knees of your jeans. He's always a little more bold, a little more tactile when he's drunk, he'll dance with you, will sit with an arm around you or on your knee, but its taken you until now to realise that you've never seen him really do that by his own choice with anyone else, even while drunk.
"Ollie, Ollie, Ollie~" you practically sing his name softly, affectionately, and when he hums in acknowledgement, looking up from your jeans, you lean your chin on your shoulder with a coy little smile, almost nose to nose with him.
"Sorry should I not be -?" He glances to your knee once more, but you snort a laugh and shift your leg to lay it out across both of his. You take another long swig of the juice, and feel his hand fidgeting once more against your knee.
"You make me feel all special, Ollie," you laughed, tipping your head against his, and he once again goes still, "I don't want to treat you like a horse but you do have to stop being so skittish," comes out without you even properly meaning it to, and suddenly Ollie's half spluttering through apologies and explainations.
"I can't- I can't help it, you just kind of say things that catch me off guard, I don't mean to -" this time his fidgeting has a more nervous energy, and you carefully put your hand on his to settle him.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," taking a deep breath, you try and organise your thoughts, "that was mean of me, I'm too used to people without much of a filter."
While Oliver is quiet, doesn't quite feel the need to speak, he does flip his hand around and lace his fingers with yours. Both of you look at your joined hands for a long moment.
"I like being next to you," you tell him with quiet sincerity, "and I like that you want to be next to me."
"Everyone wants to be next to you," Oliver says softly, and out of the corner of your eye you see him turn to look at you, "I just feel lucky that you keep saving space for me here." You give his hand a squeeze, terrified to meet his gaze, terrified of what you might see in the way he looks at you.
This moment overwhelms you, thrills you, makes your chest hurt in a way that's so unfamiliar. The idea of Oliver looking at you, seeing you for all you are outside of Felix's shadow, for wanting to be close despite that - you take another drink.
The shower turns off, and the two of you fall back into silence, sharing the drink as you hear Felix scuffle about the bathroom getting dressed. When he emerges only wearing jeans, towel drying his hair, you wolf whistle at him with the biggest grin just to see him blush. Lobbing the towel at you both, he leans across the bed to take the bottle of juice from Oliver, taking a few long chugs before passing it back.
For a moment, his eyes linger on your still-joined hands, and he smirks as he turns to his wardrobe.
"You two look cute."
"I'm stealing your new best friend," you announce with a shit-eating grin, bringing your joined hands up to your chest, and Felix throws an amused look at you over his shoulder as Oliver ducks his head, unable to his hide own abashed smile.
"Oh it's like that, is it? You'd let yourself be stolen so easily, Ollie?" Felix teased, pulling out a flattering button-down for himself to wear, turning back expectantly. Oliver flushes, looking back and forth for a long moment between yourself and Felix, who was slowly sauntering over to the bed. There's something in his eyes, that look he got when he was carefully evaluating what to say next without trying to look like he was thinking too hard, but it was gone once he settled on Felix.
"It's Y/N, can you really blame me?"
Oh, he's good. Something lights up in Felix's eyes as his gaze darts back and forth between the two of you, something adoring and amused in equal measure. Felix has always held a very high opinion of you, and just as you found joy in his happiness, so did he find joy in yours; he had never been shy about how he loved when others truly adored you, since he thought everyone should. Still, it wasn't something he tended to broadcast the way you wore your loyalty to him on your sleeve. Oliver was very good.
"I actually can't even argue with that," Felix's voice has a kind of softness to it that most people will never hear, but you know it, and there's something about how he's letting Oliver hear it to that warms your heart.
There moment breaks as the CD finishes and Felix starts hunting for his socks, declaring that he should be ready to go in only a few more minutes.
The change after that is less gradual. Of course you're still social and integrating yourself with the whole group, still playing your role in the group dynamic, offering affection and yourself without hesitation, just as Felix did too, but the two of you always make room for Oliver too. He's easing into it more, talking, laughing, reacting and seeming to live more outside of his head. Still, there's a divide in the group, there's something that makes the others hold back, something that means they can't quite understand the affection you and Felix have for the newcomer. Farleigh is a lost cause.
Farleigh can only seem to bring himself to be condescending and bitchy to you when he's sober, and outright won't speak to you while intoxicated.
"The fuck is your problem with Y/N?" You're pretty sure you weren't mean to hear Felix confront Farleigh by the bathroom of the club.
"Don't know what you're talking about," Farleigh snaps, but then you hear a scuffle and thud, and ducking your head quickly around the corner you see Felix holding Farleigh to the wall by his collar. There's a strange sensation in your gut at the sight, knowing his anger was on your behalf, but you didn't want to get caught, and pressed yourself back to the wall.
"My problem is with Oliver," Farleigh hisses, "you both know that, but you don't fucking care."
"Then treat me like dirt, not them."
"Nothing I could say would ever stop you from doing what you want, or who you want, cousin," you hear the sneer in Farleigh's voice, and feel your stomach sink, "but -"
"But what? You expected- expected what? Better from Y/N?"
Farleigh's silence speaks volumes. Once more you peak around the corner and see Felix shove himself away from Farleigh, who simply straightens his shirt, standing tall.
"The fuck do you want me to say?" Finally, Farleigh snaps, "congrats, Felix, you got your dog a dog, and now I can't look at either of you without that freak hanging around like a fruit fly."
"Fuck off," Felix sounds like he's about to be sick. Farleigh obligingly fucks off, and you have to take a long moment, head tipped back against the wall as you fight back tears in your heightened, intoxicated state. While you know you should leave, shouldn't be caught eavesdropping, you can't bring yourself to move fast enough, and Felix rounds the corner, walking almost directly into you.
"Y/N -!" He's clearly forcing a smile for the half second that it takes him to register that it's you, but then he sees your expression, the tears in your eyes, and his face falls, "you okay? What- what's-?" While you press your lips into a thin line, trying not to give anything away, he glances over his shoulders and he's quick to connect the dots, "you heard?"
"I'm sorry, Fi," your voice trembles, and immediately he's wrapping you up in a tight hug, "I don't like making Farleigh mad at you," you sniffle, clutching his sweater tightly.
"Farleigh's being an asshole, that's not on you," Felix's voice leaves no room for disagreement, but still he rubs circles into your back, "that's never your fault."
Its Felix who suggests the two of you head home for the night, but you're glad he knows you well enough to intuit that was what you'd wanted anyways. The two of you say your goodbyes for the night, putting on a happy face, thankfully obscured by the haze and neon lights and highs of your various friends. Farleigh seems to be avoiding you both, so it's only Oliver who seems to want to cling, just a little, as you say goodbye.
Somehow you know he's the only one who can see the truth of your mood in your eyes. He hugs a little longer than usual, still holding you tightly when Felix reminds him about lunch between the two of them the following day. Oliver nods before he steps back, but he doesn't entirely let go. For a moment he looks between you and Felix, you already reaching back for Felix, who takes a hold of your wrist, and then Oliver quickly takes your face and kisses your forehead quickly.
"Get back safe, alright?" He insists with a resolute nod. Both you and Felix manage a genuine smile at that, and finally head from the club.
At first, the walk back to the dorms is quiet; your own mood is low, but there's something about Felix that you don't realise until he starts to fume.
"Can you believe he'd talk about you like that?"
"What?"
"Farleigh; where the fuck does he get off talking like that? Fucking entitled." It's fury, radiating off of him in waves. His intensity surprises you, but your heart's not beating faster out of any kind of fear, "he should know better."
"Felix -"
"I don't care if he's my cousin, he -" and he stops dead, finally turning to look at you. In an instant, seeing the wide-eyed, almost awed love you were looking at him with, all his fury seemed to disappear. Still, there was intensity as he stepped up to you, wrapped one arm around your waist as he cupped your jaw, "he made you cry," the anger was faint but still audible, his thumb running gently over your cheek, where you had wiped the tears away not ten minutes ago, "I never want anyone to do that ever again."
Felix knows how to make you feel good, has had years of practice, but tonight he dedicates every ounce of focus he still has to that cause. It's been a long time since he's properly taken his time with you like this; there's been a lot of quickies, or drunk, sloppy sex when neither of you want to hook up with someone else, messy handjobs in janitor's closets between classes simply because you were bored and liked the thrill of it, or giving each other head in the bathroom of the club or pub when the other loses an arbitrary bet. But the way he worships you is something that only happens when he's feeling especially sappy.
When his mouth isn't on you - kissing, sucking, biting - he's lavishing you with praise until it almost becomes righteous, and his nails dig in and he's losing himself in you and babbling about how anyone who even got to fucking look at you should be grateful.
"Fi -" you gasp, hand coming up to muffle yourself as he's got you to the point of speechless. But he stops, cock deep inside of you, hips pressed flush to yours as you have your legs wrapped around his waist. You groan and whimper and try rolling your hips to create more friction, but his grin is wide as he leans down over you.
"Come on, no, don't do that," he practically purrs, taking your hand, pinning your wrist to the bed next to your head, pinning the other in just the same way so he was braced over you, "I want everyone to hear how you sound when someone's making you feel good." He starts to move again now, slow this time, while this new angle has your thighs splayed somehow further open, all new moans of pleasure escaping you now. Felix looks pleased, face close enough to yours that you're practically panting and moaning into his mouth as he delights at the way he's making you feel.
One of your favourite things about fucking Felix is that he is consistently Felix, which is that he very rarely shuts up, which is fantastic because you love hearing his voice. The praise and love he lays on you this night is interspersed with the way he always is during sex, chatty, always checking in, somehow making casual and curious sound like the hottest things in the world. Even when you're past the point of words and his head is between your thighs, he'll have two fingers inside of you and -
"This alright?" He knows the answer because he knows you, but you've always been endeared by it. Still, you make a breathy noise of confirmation, and you hear his voice drop to something low and firmer, "words, Y/N." God, fuck, the things that voice does to you when he uses it.
"Yes, oh god, Fi, it's good, it's good, it's good -"
You can feel his pleased chuckle as his mouth is back on your tender skin.
Dawn is breaking beyond his window, through the curtains neither of you had bothered to close all night, when you both finally concede, feeling thoroughly satisfied and spent.
"I know you don't like me getting into scraps on your behalf -" Felix, laying out on his back, easy smile on his face as he looks to you, begins.
"Or ever," you roll your eyes, but turn to lay on your side, facing him, unable to stop smiling yourself. Felix chuckles.
"Fine, sure, but," and he wets his lips, his gaze softening for a moment as his eyes meet yours, "I'm never going to sit by and let someone chat shit about you, you know that, right?"
After a long moment of deliberation, you finally admitted -
"I got a girl expelled because of how she was talking about you," you blurted out. Immediately Felix's eyes went wide. He shot up, sitting dead straight and looking back at you.
"You what?!"
"I don't get into scraps like you, but what she was saying was fucking vulgar, and I asked her to stop but she started making these awful, gross comments about how she was going to baby trap you and you'd be too stupid to know, and- and-" you flipped to lay on your back, fidgeting as you recounted the details. Felix was watching you, but you couldn't quite figure out what the look on his face meant, though perhaps he was simply processing it all, "and so I paid someone to plant a whole load of illegal shit in her room and called campus authorities."
Quiet suddenly filled the room, and slowly Felix looked away, choosing to simply stare at his hands.
"The only reason I don't like you getting into scraps is because I just don't want you to get hurt; it actually means so much to me that you care enough to defend me, you know? I'm not a hypocrite, I just worry about you," you tried to laugh, but it sounded lame in the quiet.
"You got a girl expelled for me," surprisingly, you can hear the grin in Felix's words. When he turns back with an incredulous laugh, relief floods through you. In an instant he's pitched himself practically on top of you, peppering your face, neck, and chest with kisses, "you're fucking diabolical, I'm so glad you're on my side!"
Eventually the two of you manage to get to sleep, though it's not nearly enough, as a knock comes at the door at around eleven. Both you and Felix groan, but he insists that you stay in bed.
"Be there in a sec," he calls to the door. After sourcing some boxers, he opens the door just a crack, and you can hear Farleigh on the other side.
"I was a dick."
"You were," Felix agrees.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that."
"No you shouldn't have."
"So are we good?"
"I don't know why you're apologising to me," you can hear the passive-aggressive lightness in Felix's tone, and Farleigh sounds confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Of course you know what I mean, Farleigh."
Then, a long sigh from Farleigh, and quietly, almost too quiet to hear it, you hear him ask if Felix knows where you are. You can almost picture the smug smile on your best friend's face as he steps aside and opens the door wide enough to reveal you, in his bed, still mostly asleep.
"Morning..." Farleigh says awkwardly.
"Morning, Farleigh," you yawned loudly.
"I..." he started, looking deeply uncomfortable; Felix had to prompt him to continue, "am sorry for treating you like shit these past few weeks. I don't like Oliver, that's," he sighed, unable to look you in the eyes, "not your fault."
"It's not my fault but you're making it my problem," you tell him bluntly, to which he scowls, "I love you, I have loved you for years, I do not love you less because of Oliver; your jealousy is childish."
"Fine," Farleigh rolls his eyes, "I'll temper my urge to vomit at the sight of him and his poor attempts to fit in whenever you're around- either of you are around."
"We appreciate the sacrifice," Felix rolls his eyes, sarcasm all but dripping from his words. Still, you accept the apology and tension between the three of you seem to ease as the conversation comes to an end. Felix throws himself back down on the bed with a grunt, half laying on you.
"What time is it?" He voice is muffled against the mattress, so you glance at his alarm clock.
"Eleven fifteen."
Another groan from Felix, but he still doesn't move. Slowly, he crawls to a more dignified position, and back under the covers beside you. He wraps am arm around you, pulling you in close so your back was flush against him, his breath warm on the back of your neck.
"Fifteen minutes and I'll leap out of bed with enthusiasm," he says in the absolutely least convincing manner, tucking himself as close to you as possible, "I got lunch with Ollie at the pub."
"That should be nice," you yawn, and rest your hand on his where it's warm against your bare stomach.
"Gotta have a shower, get dressed, figure out if I'm biking or walking," he's mumbling mostly to himself, voice drifting off.
"I'd join your shower but I plan to sleep here until Monday."
"I'll probably join you when I get back."
It's a comforting thought, and you let out a contented hum, before finally adding before you drift off.
"Give Ollie my love when you see him, won't you?" And as your asking, Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder.
"Of course."
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hyperfixat · 6 months
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hey!! I really love ur blog so so much rn! If you can, I'd like to request a neurodivergent MC? One that has certain foods they hate and have never told anyone since their family had forced them to try them since they were little? (Ex. Cauliflower, brussel sprouts, blueberries, bananas, carrots) and so, one day, when theyre all eating (at the HoL or just out) and they notice MC eating all but those foods on their plate? Sorry if this is a bit too specific, I just really can't write it properly for myself and i would like to have some form of comfort-
Anyway, have an amazing day!!
anon i am holding you so close rignt now this cured my writers block this is the first ask i’ve got in like two months TT 
i am incapable of writing anything not hurt comfort so there is some ‘oh man im so sad :(‘ at the beginning but yk if u said u like my writing i imagine u kinda expected this
warning for mentions of throw up and actually eating the bad foods :(
and yes yes yes i love writing explicitly nd mcs!! i added in another obstacle to the req; freaky demon food bcs thats always fun to consider. That way u can kinda make the demon food similar to whatever food u want in ur mind, anyhow, the words u wanted;
/
You push the pile of purple (purple!?) mashed… something from one corner of your plate to the center.  First you had to go to a strange demon school where all of your peers are so much scarier and larger than you and now you’ve been presented with whatever the hell this is for dinner.
You think Leviathan (Levi — it feels so odd referring to him so casually having just met him) was the one that made it.  There was a protein on the plate, you ate that with no issues, but. 
Urgh. This?
It’s your second night sleeping in the House of Lamentation and you don’t feel nearly comfortable or safe enough to get a snack on your own, especially at night. You’ve had such a long day at RAD and your body is dying for some food.
Disguising your disgusted reluctance with a carefully blank face, your grab some of the.  The stuff. 
Ah, nope.  You set your fork down quietly after taking a slow bite / swallow and grab your cup to drown the leftover flavors and textures.  
Luckily all the demon brothers seem pretty into their dinnertime banter and didn’t notice your… less than satisfactory reaction to the food.
Gosh, you don’t want to offend any of them, especially not so early on in the year you’ll have to room with them.  
It’s a good thing that Beelzebub is practically a food vacuum and doesn’t question the nearly untouched pile of. Well you know. Left over on your plate.
/
…It’s official. You hate Devildom cuisine.  
Is the universe playing one big, cruel joke on you?  What the hell is wrong with demons?  Why must the eat the worst things in the world?  Why… why… why?
Lucifer wouldn’t let you starve under his roof, and provides you with full meals and makes it clear what parts of the kitchen are free to raid (as not to take anything designated to anyone else).  You feel like the most ungrateful human in the whole wide world right now.
It’s been quite a few months since the start of the exchange program and you’ve been… getting by.  Okay, that’s not exactly true, you’ve been having a blast in most aspects of your stay in the Devildom.  Most.
There’s still the teeny tiny issue of the cuisine not quite fitting your tastes.  You’ve tried talking to Solomon about the Devildom cuisine and he tried to cheer you up with some authentic human world cuisine, but as it turns out his cooking is far worse than Devildom-style food.
Not to be dramatic, but you’re suffering in silence.  You get by, as in you’re not hungry – the demons you’ve grown oh so fond of wouldn’t let that happen.  They always seem willing to fetch you anything.  
You’re trying so hard not to hurt any feelings, because you love them and want to support them.  It’s just.  You want to throw up almost every meal.  (Barbatos’ little treats have been your saving grace – he always seems to have some yummy little snack on him.  One that you like and doesn’t make you feel like your throat is crawling out of your mouth.)
Most of the time the brothers don’t pay much thought to what you leave on your plate – as long as you eat some of what was served they seem content.  Even on nights where the meal is more nasty than good, it’s easy to just say you’re not that hungry.
This night was bound to happen at some point.  Your plate is uneatable.  It’s edible, just uneatable.  It’d be more humiliating to choke down a few bites than it is to go to bed hungry.  You wrinkle your nose when you think no one is looking and stab at the meat chunk.
Your eyes are downcast and you drag your knife lazily through the food.  It’s mesmerizing in a way, so much so that you don’t notice at first when Asmo calls your name.
“MC, is something wrong? Are you feeling alright?”  At this point he’s drawn the attention of his brothers as well.
“Yeah, you’re barely eating,” Mammon supplies.
Ah, the moment you’ve been dreading and hoped you would never have to face.
“Oh, I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”  Which certainly isn’t a lie.  
“You didn’t eat much at lunch, hon.” Asmo reaches across the table to put the back of his manicured hand on your forehead to feel for a fever.
You cringe, “uhm, well.  I’m.”  You fail to think of a decent lie quick enough – nothing you say will be believable as you mentally blue screen.
“Honest answer?”  Satan prods.
“I’m not the biggest fan of some Devildom foods.” “Not the biggest fan?”  Beel questions, “you dislike them enough to forgo eating entirely.”  
“I’m trying not to sound like an ungrateful jerk right now.  Give me a moment to word this properly.”
Satan scoffs. “Just say it.  Whatever you have to say can’t be worse than what we’ve put you through.”
“Damn, okay.  The food makes me wanna throw up when I eat it.”
Levi, the chef of the night, folds in on himself, face darkening with shame or embarrassment.
“It’s not a personal gripe, most meals have something that makes me feel that way, hon.” It seems your attempt to comfort him isn’t appreciated though, as Levi shoves his face in his hands.
Lucifer sets his fork down. “And why haven’t you said anything to any of us about this?  We want you to feel at home here.”
“You can’t expect me to be comfortable barging into what was at the time a strangers house and demand they make special accommodations for me, then once I was comfortable enough to say something I felt I put up with it long enough that it’d be odd to bring it up out of nowhere.”
“Fair enough,” Satan nods along.
“No? Not ‘fair enough’!” Mammon scolds.  “You shoulda said something to me!  Do you even like half the snacks I give you?  I spent good Grimm on those!”
Memories of bribing Beelzebub to do certain errands in the earlier days of your Devildom stay flicker through your mind.  “They got eaten.”
“MC,” Lucifer brings the conversation back on track.  “Let us know foods you don’t want to eat, we may be demons, but we’re here to provide you with a comfortable stay.”  You nod under his sincere gaze.  “Now, give your plate to Beel and order some delivery.  I’ll cover the costs, as long as you eat.”  
As you shove your plate across the table you see Lucifer pulling a shiny black card from his coat pocket.  He gestures for you to come and take it.  You walk to the head of the table and he presses the card into your hand. 
“Order whatever you’d like.  My treat.”  There’s a glint of humor in his eyes and you look down to see Goldie in your palm.
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odiesdayoff · 11 months
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Trust Your Instincts
pair: Jaime Reyes x fem!reader
summary: Post-graduation, your childhood friend seems to be ignoring you. Once he shows up, secrets are revealed, voluntarily or not.
warnings: SMUT (18+++ MINORS DNI); begins as like pretty dubious, but turns into both parties consenting. Really thin line here, they do have a mutual attraction and explicitly say that they want it.
im gonna be so real i saw an ad for this and started writing...lol. Haven't seen BB at the time of writing this a while ago! Characters are prob inconsistent. i just have like a severe mask kink.
honestly this is unfinished, but i know in my heart I will never get back to it no matter how many times I say it lol. Imagine what happens next teehee.
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“He’s not coming?” You brought the towel from over your shoulder and continued to dry the plates as Jaime’s mother handed them to you. Lunch was over and you were excited to see your best friend, but he was awol.
She gave you a sympathetic look as she handed you another clean plate. “I’m sorry, mija. He’s been acting strange ever since he got back. I know he misses you.”
You nodded and placed the towel on the counter. There’s no way he could possibly just up and abandon you after all this time. The two of you had been best friends since the first grade and even though he went all the way to Gotham City for college and you stayed in Texas, you were still close as ever. At least you think so.
“Well, I’ve gotta go. Thank you for the lunch, you know how much I adore your cooking.” You brought her into a hug and she kissed your cheek. She was like a second mom to you. All of Jaime’s family was basically your own. It took this long for them to stop the teasing about you getting together.
It had been months since Jaime allegedly returned to Texas and yet, he hasn’t reached out to you. Not by phone or in person, no matter how much you tried to talk to him. It felt worse than any breakup you’d gone through. Usually, he was the shoulder for you to cry on. 
A loud crash woke you up. It was around two in the morning. In your flannel pajama pants and a black tank top, you ran into your living room to see what happened. There was a large hole where your door should have been and laying on the floor was Jaime.
Your hand flew to your mouth and knelt down to him. His curls stuck to his forehead from sweat and his chest rapidly rose and fell. “Get away! Please, get away!” He pushed you away, yelling and borderline whimpering.
There was something wrong with him and you weren’t just going to do what he told you. “Jaime, please just tell me what’s going on. You’re not okay.” You pushed his hair from his face only to see the fear in his eyes as he looked at you. 
He flipped to his back and crawled until he hit the wall, his body colliding into it. Another dent appeared. Chips of drywall fell on him. “I’m…gonna call an ambulance, okay?”
You pulled out your phone, but before you could even unlock it, it was no longer in your hand. Jaime, now fully covered in a blue suit of armor, crushed it in his hand. “Oh my god.”
He dropped the phone and shook his head. “I don’t control it. It controls me. I promise you.” His voice was slightly distorted due to the helmet he had on.
“Okay, so can’t you call, like, Batman or something?” If this were a normal situation, you know that he would’ve laughed.
He held your shoulders. “I need you to get away. Right now.”
You shook your head. “I’m not gonna leave you like this.”
A robotic voice came from the suit, saying your full name and society security number. Jaime started to shake his head frantically and tried to step away from you. The suit disagreed.
The suit trapped you against the counter. “Please stop!” Jaime yelled. His helmet popped open to reveal his face, still scared. “I’m so sor-” The suit didn’t let him finish, instead it pushed him towards you. His lips crashed into yours. 
You felt guilty kissing back. It wasn't either of your volition, but the teenage version of yourself was screaming and frolicking in a field of flowers just to be kissing him. 
The robotic voice returned, louder now. “It is my duty to keep you healthy. Sexual health is one of those aspects.” The suit retracted more, pulling his shirt and jeans from his body. He was left in his boxers, staring at you. It continued. “I know you have a crush on her. Don’t be a pussy.”
His eyes widened and his cheeks grew red. “Is that true?” He sheepishly nodded.
You bit your lip. “It’s true for me, too.”
341 notes · View notes
bvidzsoo · 1 year
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An Imprisoned Nightingale
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Author: bvidzsoo
Warnings: violence, a lot of manhandling, cursing, and mentions of human trafficking
Pairing: Choi San x female reader
Word count: 15,4k
Summary: Choi San was everything you needed him to be. A hunter? He’d hunt down anything for you. An assassin? You wanted someone dead, he’d do it. An inside man? That information you needed; he’d bring it to you. He was a mercenary. Ruthless, fearless, uncaring, unfeeling. All he dreamed of was money and power. Everyone who heard his name feared him, people stepped aside on a busy road for him, women never approached him out of fear of being captured and then sold by him. You loved singing, despite working as a waitress, you dreamed of performing on a stage one day. Your whole life you've worked hard, knowing that one day you'll be discovered and your life would change; you'd become a performer for the wealthy. And your life did change, but instead, you became a prisoner, soon to be sold off by nobody else than Choi San. (Reader is called Im Ara in the following oneshots.)
A/N: My God, writing this was a whole ass ride, I want to punch San personally lol. It's never explicitly said that it's human trafficking, but it's quite obvious that it's that. :// I don't go into much detail about it, so yeah...the third part of the series is up and I hope you'll enjoy it. Hongjoong's part will be up in around two to three weeks because I'm going on vacation. If you want to be added to the taglist, just comment on the post. And don't forget to let me know what you think about this part, enjoy now!
Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329
Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part
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           The sun shone down on the little cottage sitting by the end of the cobblestone street, stationed somewhere on the outskirts of the bustling city. The neighborhood was quiet, most families living in the neighboring cottages being of working class, with three to four children. I liked this part of the city, because everyone was nice and it was clean. The further you ventured inside the city, the dirtier and louder it got. It was an industrial city and the markets reeked of fish and pigs; the smells combined disgusting. If I could, I stayed away from that side of the city, content with the serenity the outskirts offered. And perhaps living here felt like I was closer to achieving my dreams. If I walked down the path leading towards the forest and hiked for an hour, I would arrive to a huge clearing adorned by a house smaller than a castle, yet bigger than a mansion. The Royal Family loved coming here during the summer, it was their little hideout. Wealthy businessmen and gorgeous rich ladies would walk the streets, all headed towards the Royal Family’s place, invited for an afternoon tea or perhaps a midnight ball. I always peaked out the window when I heard horses pulling carriages by the house, knowing very well that all I could do for now was admire from afar. I was working towards to achieving my dream, but I was still a long way from it. The false sense of richness and wealth this little cottage offered was nothing but fake. I could barely afford it, sometimes not having money for weeks lead me to cultivating my own garden, which turned out to be a lot harder to do than I had initially expected it to be. The elderly family living next door wasn’t very keen of the idea, saying it lured foxes and other kinds of animals from the forest, threatening their chickens and other pets they kept around, acting as if their animals weren’t the ones drawing in the wild life from the forest. I learned to ignore the couple’s nagging, but continued keeping an eye on them, making sure they wouldn’t attempt sabotaging my little garden.
I had opened the windows, the warm breeze carrying inside as I dusted everything off with a wet cloth. It’s been a week since I’ve had a full day to myself, and so I took advantage of it, and cleaned up my house. It was quite easy and fast as it had only three chambers and a small bathroom, however, my thoughts stole me away from reality quickly and so, this simple task turned into an unnecessarily longer one. The modest pink dress I was wearing seemed to turn into a carefully designed, soft fabric, night gown, making me look like a princess. My short hair always seemed to be pulled into intricate braids, quite impossible in real life as I could barely tie it up into a low ponytail. And the wet cloth I was holding in my hands suddenly turned into a white tissue, or sometimes a small purse, occupying my hands, saving me from feeling too awkward. My humble living room turned into a huge ballroom decorated by expensive marble and low hanging golden chandeliers, paintings from other Kingdoms brought in, captivating everyone’s attention. The living room which only I was occupying was suddenly filled with hundreds of wealthy people, laughing and conversing, enjoying each other’s company. I stood to the sidelines, observing everyone, finding myself smiling at a little girl dancing by herself. She seemed to be lost in her own world, oblivious to everyone around her as she went closer to the band of musicians, the violin catching her attention. My legs started moving and I found myself walking over, approaching her.
“Pretty instrument, isn’t it?” I asked softly, making her look at me with big eyes.
“It sounds lovely.” She said shyly, looking away when I glanced at her. I nodded my head and clasped my hands behind myself, having to agree with the little girl.
“You’re quite lovely as well, little one.” I said with a smile and the girl chuckled, twirling around, showing off her pale blue dress. It complimented her similar colored eyes well, her tan skin glowing underneath the candle lights.
“I like the shade of pink your dress has.” She complimented me back, showing how well raised she was. I thanked her quietly and a woman rushed towards us, panting lightly.
“Here you were,” She muttered as she took her daughter’s hand into hers, slightly relaxing, “Stop walking away from me, Y/N, it’s not safe for a little girl like you to be alone.”
How peculiar, her name was the same as mine. The woman finally seemed to notice me and when she looked up, and made eye contact with me, she seemed to be in awe. She smiled brightly and extended her hand.
“It’s an honor meeting you, Miss Im,” She spoke up as I shook her hand, “My name is Im Nara.”
“Lovely meeting you, Mrs. Im.” I said pleasantly, listening to the woman’s rant about her wishing to meet me sooner but she wasn’t capable of attending balls due to her daughter being too young, and her wish was to bring her child to these exquisite gatherings with herself. I felt accomplished as I listened to the woman, her praises warming my heart, allowing me to take pride in myself. I have worked hard to get on this level, to be recognized and appreciated by men and women alike, even children. Anyone who had a mildly nice voice could become a recognized singer in their little town, but I stayed persistent, hard-working, and never allowed anyone to push me down, and that’s how I became so well known in the four seas and four kingdoms. Queens and Kings requested me to sing at their balls, weddings, and sometimes even invited me over for a quiet afternoon tea, making sure I had everything I needed. I was living the lavished life I always wanted and for once in my life, I felt accomplished.
I excused myself from the woman and her child as the lovely musicians stopped playing and announced that a special performer would entertain the guests for an hour now. I smiled and after taking a sip of water, soaking my throat for a little, I walked up to the middle of the stage and bowed my head, “Welcome, everyone, I hope your evening has been lovely so far. Allow me to entertain you for the following hour, I have been Im Y/N.”
And so I allowed my voice to grab everyone’s attention as I started singing a soft tune everyone knew. The song was about a pair in love whom had to go through hardships in life before they found each other and settled for a simple life. The man was a fisherman and the woman a princess, but she gave up everything for him. Her parents were strict and never allowed her to love someone freely, so she ran away from home and accidentally bumped into the love of her life on a pirate ship. Not many lived to tell the tale of such an encounter as pirates were known to be ruthless and scary, yet somehow, the princess seemed to charm the sailor. Everyone clapped when I finished the song and I cleared my throat, continuing with the next one, my powerful voice resounding in the expanse of the vast room, bouncing back off the walls. Once my little act of entertainment was over, everyone clapped loudly and I bowed deeply, thanking them for their attention and appreciation before I walked off the stage, headed to the little bar to ask for some water to freshen up my vocal chords.
A few minutes have barely passed since I had gotten off the stage and I was already surrounded by various people, each trying to grab my attention. I chatted with the lovely ladies, complimenting their outfits or jewelry, getting invited to their get togethers in return as a performer. The single wealthy men seemed to watch me from afar before reluctantly approaching me, remaining delicate as if they were scared I would run away. Some tried to win me over with tales of their doings, or by bragging about their money, something I wasn’t interested in. The one and only question they had to answer was that if we ever fell in love and married one day, would they want me to be a pretty trophy staying at home all day long and doing nothing or would they let me to continue my singing career. If the answer was that they’d prefer I stayed at home, I would excuse myself and find company from someone else, however if they said I was allowed to continue singing, I would entertain the conversation, wondering if we were a match made in Heaven. However, nobody ever seemed to be good enough. Their personalities just pushed me away as I didn’t feel appreciated enough, and I found peace in my solace, content with being able to fend for myself and live a happy life.
The King’s second cousin seemed to find me in the crowd of people and he invited me over to their table, asking me to sit with them. It was an honor, so I couldn’t refuse. I greeted everyone politely and the women were quick to ask where my gown was from and if they sent an invite to sing at their birthday parties, if I would come. I chuckled and told them that if I was free I would gladly do so, making them squeal in excitement before they whispered to each other excitedly. I accepted the glass of champaign from the King’s second cousin and he made a silly toast, the table erupting in laughter. As I took a sip from the champaign, I felt eyes watching me. I attempted to look around the room, but the culprit was sitting right across from me. He was a very handsome man. His jet-black hair was gelled back, a few stray strands falling into his sharp, slit like eyes, their color a deep brown. His lips were plump and glistened from having licked them after taking a sip of his own champaign, the bridge of his nose tall, complimenting his manly face well. His aura was rather intimidating, yet no malice radiated off of him. Catching myself staring at him, I blushed, and quickly looked away, making the man smile. His whole demeanor seemed to change once a charming smile was on his lips, he looked rather endearing. He was wearing a General’s uniform, making it quite clear that he was part of the Royal Guard. I have never seen such good-looking man, and I found myself wishing to talk to him, bewitched. He seemed to be quiet as he observed the people around the table, only speaking when spoken to and rarely laughing or smiling. My heartrate picked up when we made eye contact again, becoming shy as he flashed me a small smile, his adorable dimples showing. The King’s second cousin tapped my hand to gain my attention and I looked at him with a smile, trying to focus on the conversation at hand rather than at the handsome General.
“Tell us, Miss Im,” The King’s cousin started, with a cheeky smile, “Still haven’t found your other half?”
I chuckled, a little embarrassed that my love life was brought up in front of the General, but played it off, “I haven’t, Sir, it seems as though the perfect match for a hopeless romantic like myself doesn’t exist.”
The people at the table laughed at my words, apparently funnier than I thought they were as I was being honest, but it seemed to gain the General’s attention. He sat up straighter in his seat and raised his glass when he caught me peaking at him, lightly tilting it in my direction. I grabbed my own glass of champagne and nodded, the two of us drinking from our glasses at the same time, “Well, dear Miss Im, I feel it became my personal mission to find you an educated and well-mannered man.”
I truly wished the King’s second cousin stopped talking, but he was tipsy and his filters disappeared, “Everyone at this table, however, is already married—”
“I am not.” All eyes fell on the General, who’s voice demanded respect, not too deep yet not high pitched either. I couldn’t help but blush and avert my eyes when his gaze became too much, and the King’s second cousin let out a satisfied sound.
“How silly of me!” He exclaimed, and stood, taking my hand in his, “Let’s introduce you to General Choi.”
Despite wanting to act coy, I couldn’t help but feel excited as the King’s cousin walked us around the table, towards the General, who stood up. I couldn’t help but find myself mesmerized by his presence, his eyes drawing me in. Who was this man? Have I finally found my other half? And as the General extended a white glowed hand to shake, loud knocking caught my attention. I glanced around to see if anyone else heard it, but nobody moved, nobody reacted. I smiled, a little tense, and went to shake the General’s hand, when the knocking turned into banging. I jumped, frightened, watching as the image around me became washed out, fading away. I panicked and tried to hold onto the General’s hand, desperately wishing for him to be real, but instead, I found myself crashing against the front door.
“Im Y/N! Open the door!” The scratchy voice of the landlady made me groan, head resting against the door as my perfect fantasy faded away. I wasn’t the famous singer anymore attending balls of the wealthy, getting invited to get togethers and birthday parties, meeting the love of my life. I was just a poor girl living in a cottage I could barely afford, working at an Inn which didn’t pay well, and also, I have barely cleaned anything in the house.
I sighed, and opened the front door, “Were you trying to ignore me, cheeky girl?!”
“No, Mrs. Yoon, I was just—”
“Disturbing everyone with your loud screeching.” The woman interrupted me rudely, making my jaw clench. The one screeching here was her and not me.
“Where’s my money, anyway?” My eyebrows furrowed and I quickly glanced behind me, eyes falling on the calendar I designed myself placed on the wall. The end of the month would be in two weeks, why was she asking for rent right now?
“You’re a bit early on rent, Mrs. Yoon—”
“I’m not early, you’re the one late.” I sucked in a deep breath, telling myself that it was alright if she interrupted me, “You didn’t pay last month, and haven’t paid this month either.”
“Because it’s not the end of the month, yet.” I tried to reason with the old woman, but she just scoffed and gave me a glare.
“You have until the end of the week to pay me last month’s and this month’s rent, young lady.” My stomach churned at her words, realizing I didn’t have enough money for that. And I wouldn’t have by the end of the week either, “And stop screaming.”
That was the last straw as my patience evaporated and I snapped at the old hag, eyes narrowed at her, “I’m singing, not screaming!”
The old woman just scoffed and turned on her heels, stalking off as she kept throwing glares at my way, making me grimace at her before I slammed the door shut, doom seemingly looming over my head. I can’t lose the cottage, what am I supposed to do now?!
            My free day passed by quickly and I found myself almost oversleeping my shift, having to get ready in a frenzy. Usually the afternoon naps I took to be able to work all night long were short, however, after working all day in the garden beforehand left me tired and I didn’t wake up in time. I was lucky I had prepared my dress before going to sleep and all I had to do was put it on before running out the door, wishing I owned a horse as I would get to the Inn faster. It was a good twenty minutes’ walk away, on top of a hill to make my life even more torturing than it already was. The petite sandals I wore to match the dress weren’t made for running and my feet kept tangling together every second step, making me lose my cool quite quickly. I could usually control my temper, but sometimes the smallest things got to me. However, I managed to be on time and the Inn’s owner gave me a glance and a nod of approval before she told me to put on my apron and start waitering the tables. Thankfully, I managed to convince the owner to allow me to sing in the weekends, entertain the guests a little without her having to pay me for it, the tips of the people would do. At the beginning it was awkward as the people seemed to find it weird, but after getting used to it, more and more people started coming to the Inn, intrigued by the new form of fun. Sometimes drunk sailors who were passing through the city would ask me to sing them old tales, something I didn’t know even existed until now, making me become an expert at them in about just a month. Sometimes people wished for lullabies, some sad ones, and I would do as they asked despite the Inn not being a place for feeling nostalgic. My favorite ones were the catchy ones, to which everyone sang along and sometimes even danced if the atmosphere was right.
Tonight it seemed to be a busy night as all tables were occupied, somebody entering the Inn every fifteen minutes. My act of entertainment lasted less as I had to help out the other girls, but I promised to sing to the people more when I had a little free time, making them cheer loudly. Unfortunately, my singing career hasn’t taken off in the real world like in my fantasy world, I was not invited to wealthy outings. I hoped and prayed every night that it would happen sooner than later, trusting in it and allowing the Heaven’s to guide me. I couldn’t let my dream go to waste; I wouldn’t accept living a normal, regular life. Not when I was talented, not when I loved singing. I knew my worth, I knew I deserved more than working in a run-down Inn, the payment not even enough to live in a nice, small cottage.
“Hey, Y/N, bring us another jug!” I heard a regular calling out drunkenly and I sighed, running up to the bar and filling five jugs with beer. I placed them on my tray and walked up to their table, placing the jugs of beer on the table and taking the empty ones. As I was walking back to the bar to wash the used jugs, I felt someone tugging on my skirt, halting my steps. I turned around, eyebrows furrowed at who was grabbing me.
“Can you bring us more beer too?” It was a man, teeth crocked and clothes dirty, quite foul smelling. I tried to keep a straight face, having not recognized him as he wasn’t a local. I nodded wordlessly and yanked the skirt of my dress out of his grip, sighing to myself. The other girls were working hard, everyone busy with their own tables and I watched one as I filled three more jugs with beer. She was the youngest and quite pretty, but she allowed men to touch her too much. They were all over her, groping her, saying disgusting things to her. And she remained silent, she just took it, and even flirted back, making me feel sick to my stomach. No man has ever touched me, not here and not anywhere else. I wouldn’t allow a lowlife to taint me, when I knew there were good man out there too, the ones who were on my level, the ones who would treat me right. I walked with the jugs of beer back to the table of the unknown man, placing them down on the table. They looked at me and snickered at each other, but I ignored it. I was usually very nice to everyone, always smiling and soft-spoken, but I did not like their approach towards me, therefore I tried to convey the very obvious message without having to say something. However, they seemed to not catch onto it, as the same man who grabbed me before, suddenly held onto my skirt again.
“Listen, pretty lady,” He slurred, making me glare down at him, “We’re just passing through the city and decided to stop here tonight, heard there was a really good singer. And you weren’t just good, look at how beautiful you are too!”
“Thank you.” I managed to say and tried to pull my skirt out of his grip, but he was holding it rather firmly.
“Do you get paid enough?” I didn’t answer his intruding question, just tugged on the skirt again, “Well, there’s always more ways to make money, beautiful, and I could give you not just that, but a memorable night too—”
“Let go of my skirt, right now.” I snapped, my voice raising. The man looked taken aback by my demeanor, all softness and kindness having disappeared.
“That’s not how a lady should talk like—”
“I said, let go of my skirt.” I yanked rather harshly on it, finally getting it free from his grip. The man didn’t seem too happy and when I went to walk away, he grabbed my wrist, looking at me with a sneer.
“You should respect men more—” I chuckled, gripping his wrist back with my other hand, glaring at him as I cut his words off.
“A lowlife like you should respect women more—” Then I squeezed his wrist hard, making him hiss as he released my hand suddenly, “And don’t touch me.”
Well, I have angered the man now, and he stood up, trying to get all up in my face, but I pushed him hard enough to have him sit back down. He was being loud and a few people started glancing our way, “How dare a bitch like you talk to me like that?! As if you don’t sell your body—”
The slap which cut his words off resounded in the whole room, making people look at us wide eyed. The man was speechless for a few seconds, before his hands turned into fists and he jumped up, about to punch me, but a man stood in front of me, gripping the foreigner’s collar, “We don’t appreciate men who hurt women here, buddy.”
It was the regular who asked for beers before these hooligans, “My advice is you either settle down or get lost.”
The regular was a big man and despite his friendly aura and happy demeanor, he was scary whenever he got angry. You rarely saw him angry, so that’s why it was even scarier when he truly was. He was quite gentle with all the girls here and on busy nights we found him lingering around, looking out for us without a reason. Later we found out he was the owner’s nephew and felt like we were exposed to men like this foreigner, who did not know how to behave, quite frequently, so when he had nothing else to do he’d keep an eye out for us.
The owner of the Inn assessed the situation as she came out from the backroom, and quickly approached us, asking her nephew to release the foreigner, “Sir, please calm down and don’t cause a scene—”
“That bitch can’t behave!” The drunk sailor pointed at me as he screamed, making the owner’s nephew take a threatening step towards him. The sailor cowered a little bit and sat down as his comrades started telling him to stop it, realizing the man looking out for me could knock them out in a fight anytime. He was twice their sizes. The owner motioned for me to follow her and I turned at her nephew for a second, thanking him quietly, before walking towards the backroom.
“What happened out there?” She asked as she sat down in her chair, eyebrows furrowed. I sat opposite her, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
“He started touching me and implying disgusting things, so I asked him to stop and he didn’t listen…” I trailed off, looking away as the owner narrowed her eyes at me.
“Did you slap the man?” She knew me too well; I couldn’t even lie. This wouldn’t be the first incident; she has already warned me to behave. I could only hope she wouldn’t fire me; I really didn’t know what I would do next then.
“I did—”
“You should head home,” My eyes widened at the owner’s words, confused as to why, “Your shift would end in an hour either way, so it doesn’t matter much. I don’t have the money, so come back tomorrow for the payment.”
I nodded and got up from the chair, untying the apron from my waist and placing it on her desk, “I’ll see you tomorrow then, good night.” I bowed my head and she stopped me as I got to the door.
“Be careful on your way home, I heard Ateez docked down in the city a few days ago.” When I continued to look confused at my boss, her eyebrows furrowed, “Women have been disappearing, Y/N, I’m telling you to look out.”
“Oh,” I chuckled and brushed off her words, my route not taking me towards the center of the city, “Thank you for your concern, but don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” My boss muttered and I bowed my head before going outside, leaving through the back of the Inn, not wanting to see that foul foreigner again. I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t have slapped him again if I did see him. Men like him disgusted me. I hated these types of so-called men. They held no value in my eyes, they worth nothing.
I checked my surroundings, my boss’ words getting a little bit to me, but I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. The crime rate in this city was low and since I lived towards the outskirts of it, it was safer than walking towards the center, where the markets were. At night it was littered with drunk men, looking for one-night stands. Perhaps if I lived there, I would have been scared walking alone at night, but here it was fine. I was humming to myself, skipping from one cobalt stone to the other, imagining that I was walking towards my carriage to head back to my little mansion. I would take a bath there, have a ravishing dinner and perhaps gaze at the stars in my rose garden before going to sleep. My butler would be already asleep, and I’d try to remain quiet as to not wake him up, but he’d still wake up, and so I’d ask him to join me in the garden, point out the constellations I was unable to see. He loved astronomy and would talk about it a lot, passing his interest onto me as well. Footsteps behind me made me snap out of my daydream and I looked behind, but nobody was there. I rolled my eyes and continued walking, figuring it was a stray animal or something. But a few minutes later I heard it again, now faster and harder, and before I could panic and take off running, I felt a body collide against mine. I would’ve screamed if it weren’t for the cloth pressed harshly against my mouth and nose, smelling foul, the smell making my throat itch as I inhaled it. I wanted to push this person away, but my muscles went numb fast and my vision started blurring, until it became blacker than the night sky.
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            My stomach was violently ill when I finally came to it, the stench of fish unbearable as it made me gag. I moved the back of my hand against my nose, trying to repress the smell, but it wasn’t doing much. My ears seemed to be ringing and I was thrown forward, as if something crushed into us. I didn’t understand the predicament I woke up to at first, confusedly looking around, until my eyes fell on the iron bars holding me captive in a small dice shaped cage. The weight around my wrists finally caught my attention and I looked at them flabbergasted, tugging on the chain, to no avail. I was chained against the wall, having little freedom to move around in the cage. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to remember how and when I got here, but my last memory was of walking home after my boss sent me off. And then it clicked, the foul-smelling cloth pressed against my nose and mouth, I was drugged. I was drugged and brought onto this…ship? A lump formed in my throat as I frantically looked around, assessing the situation, trying to think of something. However, my heart beat faltered when I saw the other girls around me. There were three more cages besides the one I was in and two scared looking girls in each one of them. A quiet whimper caught my attention and I looked to my right, eyes falling on a younger looking girl, who was curled up in a ball, eyes teary. Her wide eyes looked at me, fright bouncing off of her. My heart started beating faster as things started sinking in, and I found it harder to breathe. My throat was closing in on me, restricting any air from getting to my lungs. I tried to divert my attention to anything else, even find comfort in one of my fantasy scenarios, but nothing seemed to work as I felt my face going red, starting to gasp for air.
“Hey, you!” I heard someone slightly raising their voice, making my head snap in their direction. Across from us, in the cage to the right, a middle-aged woman was looking my way, eyebrows furrowed, “What’s your name?”
I licked my lips and tried to suck in a deep breath, but it wasn’t working and I felt like I was about to choke, “No-no, keep breathing, copy me.”
The middle-aged woman started taking deep breaths, counting for me, and I tried to copy her, but nothing happening for a few minutes. Then suddenly, I could feel my throat loosening up and air finally flowing into my lungs, filling them to the brim. I started coughing as I desperately breathed in more air, looking at the woman with gratefulness written all over my face, “My name is Y/N.”
“I’m Hyolin.” She introduced herself and I bowed my head slightly, noticing that she was the only one not crying besides me. Her eyes were red and she kept sniffing, but no tears left her eyes, “We’re on a pirate ship, if you’ve been wondering.”
My heart started beating faster again as I looked around, pulling on the chains of my handcuffs, but they were too strong to break. The chamber was huge and it looked like some sort of basement, filled with supplies, barrels, and a big variety of guns and other weapons. I could see a fishnet filled with a bunch of dead fish and it made my stomach sicker, forcing me to gag as I averted my eyes, falling on my cellmate. She was crying quietly and I fought my own tears from rolling down my cheeks, trying to stop my brain from processing that I was a hostage on a pirate ship.
“For how long was I out?” I whispered to the young girl and she jumped, slowly looking at me. Her body was shaking and she looked at the floor before whispering back that I was out for a whole day. It felt like a punch to my gut and I looked away biting my lower lip, realizing that if I was out for a whole day, we have sailed out onto the sea already, taking me far away from my home. My head started thumping suddenly, all of my dreams slipping right through my fingers. I would never become a famous singer, I would never live a lavished life, I will never be remembered. Instead, I would be either sold off or killed, forever lost on the sea or in some creepy man’s basement. The first tear trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it off, the commotion behind the heavy wooden door making my body tremble. There were multiple male voices behind the door before it slowly opened, strong light flooding inside as they walked down the stairs, stalking towards our cages. All of us tried to make ourselves look smaller as the three pirates stopped in front of our cages, looking left and right before opening the cage across from ours.
“Stand up, all of you.” The man inside the respective cage demanded, his voice harsh and frightening, so we did as told. I could only see his backside, but he had jet-black hair and his shoulders were wide and concealed by a black leather jacket. The man seemed to be inspecting all of us, murmuring to himself about our looks. Normally, I wouldn’t have allowed him to make such comments, but right now I was not in a favorable position and my body was shaking from fear. I had no idea why he was doing this and I was scared that one wrong move would get me killed. On this ship I couldn’t do much but try and survive, however, once on land, I could try and run away, asking for help and making sure these monsters were behind bars, in a real prison. The tallest of the three seemed to notice my piercing gaze and I quickly looked down when he raised his eyebrows, lips pulling into an amused smile. There was nothing amusing about this situation.
“So, what do you think?” The other guy, who was the shortest out of them all and had a white cloth wrapped around his right forearm, signaling that he was the Captain, asked in a quite bored tone.
“They aren’t the brightest so far.” The man inspecting us dared to say with a sneer, checking the other girls. My blood boiled at his words, but I bit my lip and continued glaring at the floor.
“We can’t afford making a shitty deal, San.” The Captain snapped, arms crossed in front of his chest, “Not after Yuri almost destroyed our ship and Jongho released our Siren.”
The tallest scratched his nape, pouting, “Well, it wasn’t entirely Jongho’s fault, Captain…we should probably thank the Siren he’s still alive, to be honest—”
“Whatever, Mingi,” The Captain snapped, shooting him a glare, “If we don’t get high payment on these girls I’m afraid we’ll have to return to our old ways of survival for a while.”
San, the one checking all girls, opened our cage as he snickered, “I don’t mind at all. It’s been too long since I had bloodied my sword.”
My body shivered and my cellmate started crying loudly as San touched her hair, moving it out of her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes. I wished I could’ve punched the man and held the crying girl, but I was rooted to my place, just as frightened as her. I refused to show my true feelings, however, having no intention of showing weakness to these monsters. I tensed up once I saw a pair of glistening black shoes stop in front of me, the man’s presence powerful. I lowered my head even more, for once wishing I had longer hair so that it would cover my face, restrict the men from seeing it. San tsked as he harshly grabbed my chin and raised my head by it, our eyes finding each other. Perhaps in a different scenario I would’ve been easily charmed by the man standing in front of me, his beauty unmatched. His jet-black hair fell messily on his forehead, he had clearly run his fingers through it numerous times. His sharp, slit like eyes, their color a deep brown were intense, keeping you pinned to your place, and I found myself scared to even breathe as we stared each other down. His lips were plump and glistened from having licked them just seconds ago, the bridge of his nose tall, complimenting his manly face well. He was intimidating and I fought against my will of wanting to cover away from him, refusing to show him any fear despite the very obvious tears gathered up in my eyes. Suddenly, he chuckled and smirked, eyes running all over my face, then down my body before stopping on my hair again.
“I knew you’d bring us a lot of money when I spotted you last night,” My jaw clenched as his words made the Captain and the other man, called Mingi, look my way, “You’re drop dead gorgeous, angel, pity your hair isn’t longer, you would’ve made us even more money.”
My jaw clenched and I ripped my head out of his hold, looking off to the side, head turned away from him. I couldn’t believe such malice could hide behind such a beautiful face. I hated him as he chuckled, looking me over one more time before he walked out of our cage, locking the iron door behind him, smirking at the Captain.
“We’ll be filthy rich, Hongjoong.” San said with the evilest laughter I’ve ever heard and the other two men chuckled as the three of them took off, headed for the stairs. The silence was deafening as we waited for them to be gone, and I felt the tears finally streaming down my cheeks once they were out the door, locking it behind them. My knees gave out and I fell down, holding my head in my hands as I started sobbing loudly. I felt the pitiful gazes of the other girls and it made me cry even harder. I wished I was so ugly they would just feed me to the sharks, at least I could try and swim away then, have a chance at saving myself. I couldn’t lose my perfect life like this, I just couldn’t.
            We couldn’t tell whether it was day or night due to being locked down here, but when Mingi walked in with a few more lanterns and muttered that he’d bring us dinner soon, we realized it was probably around the evening. Everyone seemingly had calmed down a little bit since San examined us, the girls constantly giving me pitiful glances. I hated it, wanted to ask them to stop, but remained quiet. If they thought they were safe because San called just me beautiful, I wouldn’t want to destroy their small sense of security, because I knew how much it meant. I tried to distract myself multiple times, the rocking of the boat making me sleepy but I refused to sleep, scared that the pirates would do something to me. No matter how hard I tried to imagine that I was in a different place, finding a fitting scenario for my current reality, it never lasted for too long. The image became blurry until it disappeared altogether, making me sit on the floor with my back against the wall defeated, wondering where they were taking us. I was from the South Kingdom, living on the furthest island from the mainland. It would take around four to five days to travel between the two on a big ship, but I didn’t know how big and fast these pirates ship was, so I couldn’t judge how much it would take us to arrive. I assumed they were taking us to the Capital, but I wasn’t even sure why I was captured in the first place. Hyolin, who turned out to be the oldest amongst us girls, seemed to be the only one fully understanding the situation, but she refused to tell us. She asked us if we’ve heard about Ateez and Choi San, and remained silent after hearing our answers. I did know Ateez was a pirate crew, but I didn’t know who Choi San was…until today. I assumed he was some sort of trader, but his physique said otherwise. His muscular and well-defined body begged to differ, and the big sword secured around his hips also proved my theory to be true. He was probably something like a soldier, not a trader. I had no idea what ranks pirates had on their ships, but I imagined San to be at the front leading, fighting the enemy.
Not knowing what to do with myself anymore, I found myself quietly humming as three girls had fallen asleep, curled up on the cold floor into themselves, hugging their torsos. The young girl sharing the cage with me had calmed down hours ago, but she wouldn’t stop sniffing and rocking back and forth. She also wasn’t talking to us, so I figured I could try and distract her with a sailor song I knew. I found myself quietly singing, staring off into the distance, looking at nothing in particular as I lost myself in the story of the song. It was about a young woman who lived by the beach by herself and wished to meet her lover who got lost on the sea years ago. They would have been married already, but the mates of her lover said he got shoved into the sea by a big wave, forever lost to the water. The young woman never believed her lover was dead, her gut telling her that he’d return home to her and they’d live a happy life together. And she seemed to be right as one night someone knocked on her door, making her almost faint. It was her lover and he looked better than ever. She flung herself in his arms and they cried for hours, the man telling her everything that’s happened to him after he fell in the sea. Apparently, some mermaids saved him but kept him hostage, scared that he’d lead other sailors to their lair. After years of teaching them about humans and helping them whenever one of them was sick, they finally released the man, trusting him enough to keep the secret about their existence. The woman couldn’t care less about mermaids and finding them, her biggest treasure was sitting right in front of her, all she needed was him.
“Your voice is so beautiful.” The young girl spoke up for the first time willingly since we’ve been here, her voice high pitched and shaky. I looked at her surprised, and smiled at her softly.
“Thank you, dear.” I whispered, resting my chin on my knees, which were pulled up to my chest.
“Where did you learn to sing like that?” She asked, finally willing to converse with us. She had nothing to lose by doing so at this point.
“Nowhere,” I sighed, playing with the skirt of my dress, “My grandparents once took me to their good friends when I was little and they asked if I played any instrument. When I told them I didn’t they told me I could always try and sing, use my own voice as an instrument.”
The young girl listened closely, looking a little curious, “You’ve been singing for a long time, then. Are you famous?”
I chuckled and shook my head, “No, not even a little bit.”
A gloomy feeling seemed to loom over our heads as I sighed loudly, closing my eyes, “It was my dream…to become famous. To sing for the wealthy. To be invited to gatherings and the Royal family’s balls as a performer, but—now I’m a prisoner on a pirate ship. I’ll never become a well-known singer. All of my hard-work was in vain, I just—I wish I was rather dead, than on this ship.”
An amused deep chuckle made all the girls still awake tense. The young girl beside me hid her face again, turning into the wall, her whole body shaking again. I opened my eyes and looked up, startled to find San standing right outside my cage. When did he get here? And how did we not hear him or even notice him until now? His lips were pulled into a twisted smile, looking very amused as he unlocked the door. I watched as he took a step inside, placing a tray of food down on the floor, never breaking eye contact with me. The young girl started whimpering, irritating me to no end, but I didn’t show my feelings. I tried to remain neutral as San stared me down, challenging me with his gaze to look away, to succumb to him. But I would never do that, I refused to cover in front of a lowlife like him.
“You’re not just beautiful, you have a beautiful voice too.” He said sounding almost amazed, an excited glint in his eyes, “You’ll be worth more than I thought initially.”
His words made me gulp and my palms turn into fists, but I refrained myself from saying anything, refusing to feed his energy with mine by being weak. San smirked and slightly leaned down, tilting his head to the side as I glared at him, “And forget about dying, beautiful, because nothing harmful will happen to you as long as you’re under my watch.”
But he was the reason I was even placed in a harmful situation. It was his fault that once we’re on the mainland something horrible will happen to me, to the other women in these cages. It was his fault that I would never achieve my dreams, it being the very few reason I found living worth. I acted without thinking, without considering that the tray of food was both for myself and my cellmate, without considering how hungry she must’ve been, forgetting how hungry I was myself. I kicked the tray with my leg, food getting on the floor, glaring at San with full hatred as his eyes slightly widened, his smug expression slipping for a second. He was far away from me, but it felt like he was breathing down my neck as he stood up straight, wide shoulders pulled back, jaw clenching. His gaze made me shiver involuntarily and he was out of the cage, slamming the door shut before locking it. The young girl jumped and I remained staring at San until he was out of the room, Mingi being the one to bring the other women their dinners. I wanted nothing more but to escape this hell.
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            One or two days have passed since we’ve been taken prisoners on the pirate ship, but I couldn’t really pin point how much time has passed since I was kidnapped. It was continuously dark down here, where they kept us, and if it weren’t for Mingi always announcing what type of meal he was bringing for us, I wouldn’t have even known what time of the day it was. The atmosphere was quite somber as everyone was scared for their own lives, covering away whenever San entered the room. He kept coming down, sometimes laughing at us and teasing us with vile words, words I tuned out once I realized how foul of a person he was. He did this for his own enjoyment, because he liked seeing us scared and helpless. If I wasn’t on a ship, behind bars, I would’ve stood up for myself, making sure he never disrespected a woman ever again. But I couldn’t do that here, not when my scared cellmate started crying as San told us to change our clothes in front of him. She was begging him to turn around, embarrassed and humiliated when he slapped her hard, shouting at her to shut up. My body was shaking from anger and I clenched my hands into fists, trying to keep my breathing even, not wanting him to see how easily he could get a reaction from me. He smirked the whole time, entertained by the whole ordeal as the girls sniffled and whimpered while changing, covering underneath his intense gaze.
I didn’t feel better than them, I felt violated as his gaze ran over my body hungrily once I was out of my second-hand dress, the silk nightgown I was wearing the only thing concealing my private parts from unwanted eyes. I felt humiliated when he muttered that my freckle covered body was exotic and men would kill each other to get their hands on me, but I didn’t let any emotion show on my face as I held eye contact with him, chin high, as I pulled on the simple white dress he brought for us, staring him down spitefully. San seemed to be enjoying it, eyebrows raising when I threw my dress in front of his feet, making him bend down and pick it up himself, unlike the other girls who handed him their own dresses themselves. I could play innocent and fragile, and I would do just that, but not when my privacy and decency were being violated. Not when I wasn’t treated like a human being, not when I wasn’t respected. San’s lips pulled up in a wide grin, dimples forming on his cheeks, but he didn’t seem happy as he eyed the dress in front of him, shaking his head as he sucked on his cheeks. He probably didn’t expect any type of disrespect or challenge from any of us, thinking we were too scared to stand up for ourselves. But what could happen to me other than dying, while I was on this ship? Nothing, nothing that could scare me into subordination. Despite thinking that San would throw a fit and make me grab my dress and hand it to him, he didn’t, he just leaned down and picked it up, feeling the fabric of it.
“For someone who regards themselves so highly, you look rather cheap, Y/N.” I chuckled, his words triggering me enough to finally show just how irritated I was, but I remained silent. His gaze pinned me to my spot, challenging me as he waited for a retort, but nothing happened. I didn’t speak, didn’t move. He didn’t speak, he didn’t move. It was so quiet in the chamber, that I thought the other girls stopped breathing. A ruckus upstairs seemed to get San’s attention, and finally someone called out to him, telling him to go help them. Our stare down finally came to an end and San walked away with a smirk, dangling the keys to our cages in his hands mockingly. If I could, I would’ve punched him unconscious right then and there, but the chains and iron bars were in my way, so I had to settle with the power of my imagination, where San wasn’t even breathing anymore.
Dinner time had approached once again, and us, the girls, had somewhat calmed down from the whole fiasco from earlier. It took a lot of coercing and encouragement from us for my cellmate to finally stop crying and I sung her whatever songs she wanted to hear, finally lightening her mood. Somehow I got her to smile as Hyolin and I told her funny happenings from our jobs, Hyolin being a baker. The young girl, who’s name we finally found out, was Eunchae. She was barely seventeen and it broke my heart that she was here with us, her whole youth stolen from her. It’s not like I was much older than her, but at least I got to live my life a little bit up until now. She told us her mother had only her and relied on her, so Eunchae was scared what would happen to her mother now that she’s disappeared from her life. We tried reassuring her that her mother would probably figure something out, but it only made Eunchae cry again. I felt bad, so bad for her. And promised myself, that if I could somehow save myself from this nightmare, I’d take her with me. Hyolin was a strong woman, I knew I didn’t have to worry much for her and the other women with us seemed to like her more than Eunchae or I, which was probably good. If Hyolin tried to break free as well, they’d follow her no doubt.
When the heavy door opened, everyone tensed and we watched as Mingi and San walked down with trays of food, each one of them handing them out to two cages. Of course, it came as no surprise, as San chose Eunchae and I’s cage, his eyes amused as I avoided his stare, preoccupied with my nails which had gotten a bit dirty. I didn’t want to see him after what he did earlier, anger cursing through my veins just at the memory of it. But I had to be smart. I was smart despite what everyone thought about me. I survived this long after my grandparents deaths thanks to it. I could be soft and persuasive, fragile looking, in the eyes of men. I knew I played my cards a little bit wrong until now in front of San, but damage control was still doable. I could still act dainty, and blame my previous behavior on the stress I was feeling, if he asked. Once he placed the tray of food on the floor for us, he didn’t leave the cage, just looked around, before leaning against the bars with a smug look, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Today he was wearing a casual fit, a white shirt which was barely buttoned, tucked inside his leather pants. He had two swords on each side of his hips and a long, dark blue, coat kept him warm from the harsh wind up on the deck. My body ached for some sunlight and a breeze, but I knew it wasn’t possible until I was on this ship.
“Well, I come bearing good news,” My heart shouldn’t have skipped a beat at his words, knowing not to hope for anything good since it was coming from this lowlife pirate, “we’re docking down tomorrow on the mainland, isn’t that exciting?”
Nobody answered his question, my body tense as my eyebrows furrowed. What would that mean? What would happen to us?
“Isn’t that exciting?” He repeated himself, his voice hard and it made Eunchae whimper as she quickly nodded her head, afraid he’d slap her again. My blood boiled, but I ignored it, having to play coy for once again.
“One small advice,” San dragged his words out, eyes falling on me, burning a hole in the side of my head, “When you’ll be no longer with me, behave, and your lives will be easier. Men don’t like stubborn and rude women, they like them weak and respectful, especially the men I do business with.”
I wanted to tell him to go jump off the ship, become the sharks dinner, but I bit my lower lip and gulped, still refusing to look at him, knowing very well he was directing his words mainly at me. But I still didn’t fully understand why I was here, and I wanted to know. Hyolin seemed to have accepted her fate long ago, but didn’t care to share it with us, seeing that we were quite literally in the same boat.
“What—” I stuttered, hoping it would look authentic as my voice was small, “What will happen to us once—once we’ll get to the mainland?”
I stared at the floor, playing my role, hopefully, well, “A couple of things, beautiful, but the most important one is that you’ll bring me tons of money.”
I gulped, “How?”
San chuckled as if my question was the funniest ever, crouching down, lowering his head as he was trying to make eye contact with me, but I didn’t look his way, “How, you ask? By selling your body for me.”
My blood ran cold when I heard his words, and my heart started beating like crazy, ears suddenly turning red. My hands started shaking and I clenched them into fists, hoping he wouldn’t notice as San stared at me with a crazed look in his eyes. No, this couldn’t be happening. I was pure, I was untouched, I couldn’t let men just…ruin my life like that. I had full autonomy over my body, nobody could take that away from me. Not San. Not anyone else. I let out a quiet breath, trying to think of a way of saving myself, of charming San into letting me off. I would be betraying the other women here with me, but I had to try. And if I succeeded, perhaps I could help them too later on.
“You—you said I have a beautiful voice—” I wasn’t faking my stutter anymore, my thoughts were so jumbled together that I didn’t know what I wanted to say first, “I can sing for you, entertain your men for you. My body—my body is not worth more than my voice, I—I can make you richer with my talent, I—”
“Angel,” San cut me off, slightly coming closer, voice almost softening, “If I wanted to make you a famous singer, you wouldn’t be here right now. And your voice isn’t worth more than your body.”
I gulped, feeling dread settling in my stomach. This really was the worst that could have ever happened to me. I shook my head slowly, feeling the tears in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. I couldn’t humiliate myself even more, not in front of this monster. San seemed to have lost interest in me as he stood up straight, smoothing out his coat, looking down at me with an amused expression.
“Did you think I kidnapped you to make you a princess, Y/N? This is the real world, not some sort of fantasy land. We all have to make money in some way—”
“But you’re selling women, to make money.” My voice was harsh as I snapped, raising my head, finally looking at him. I knew my face was red from anger, my cheeks burning as I pushed myself up, standing tall, yet shorter than San, “You’re using humans to make money, to live a lavished life, while you make others miserable. While you steal our lives away, you get to live a free life—”
“Not everything is fair in life, angel.” San said with a nonchalant shrug, seemingly amused by my outburst, only fueling my anger.
“Something not being fair in life means getting fired from your job, it means losing a loved one, it means working-hard yet never quite achieving your dreams not—not getting kidnapped off the streets by someone who’s playing God!” I couldn’t help it as I screamed at him by the end of my sentence, breathing hard and wishing my glare could kill him. San didn’t seem so amused anymore, his eyes narrowing at me, “A lowlife like you shouldn’t even look in our direction, San."
San tsked, letting out a loud laugh, startling the other women as they watched me with fearful eyes, Eunchae shaking her head, begging me to stop with her eyes, “Is that how you see me? What you think of me? A lowlife?”
“Have you never been insulted by a woman before?” I raised my eyebrows mockingly, watching San stalk towards me slowly, “Did you think just because you view us as some objects we wouldn’t have a brain to think with and to feel with? Can you even sell me off if I will not behave like a doll?”
“Yes,” San nodded, chuckling, stopping right in front of me, eyes piercing mine, “I can still sell you, because there’s some men who love it when their objects have a big mouth and more than two thoughts in their skulls, makes it more exciting, you know? More satisfying to see them succumb to them. More enticing when they fight back, only to be disciplined in mere minutes—”
It took me a great deal of self-control to not step back as San invaded my personal space, stopping just inches away from me as his voice dropped to a low whisper, “It makes it so fucking hot when you finally get to fuck them dumb into the mattress, making them a mess of cries and pleas, asking you to stop but they are never in charge, even if you let them think so for a moment.”
My lips parted in shock and I couldn’t help but gasp at his vulgar words, taking a step back, but San reacted fast as his hand was in my hair, yanking my head back, making me yelp. I had no time to react as something sharp and cold was pressed against my neck, making me freeze as I was afraid to even breathe, “I know the type of woman you are, angel. You act fragile and sweet as long as things are going your way, but once you realize you’re at disadvantage your true self starts showing. You can’t manipulate me and you can’t make me feel bad for you, because I don’t give a shit about you, angel. All I see is a bunch of coins in return for you body when I look at you, and that’s all I need. What happens to you after you’re free from my hands, I don’t give two shits about. You can go jump off a cliff or you can live the miserable life you were going to live either way in that small, foul and good for nothing city, Y/N. I made it worse, perhaps, or I made it better. I’ll never find out.”
“You have no idea what life I was living,” I breathed out, voice shaky as the knife pressed against my Adam’s apple, “But I can promise you that I will ruin you.”
San’s gaze melted into mine, his face lowering, our noses almost touching. My heartbeat faltered for a second and I shrunk back a little bit, his dominating aura finally getting to me. I hated him, so much, and I hoped he could see it in my eyes, in my expression. He should just kill me right now, making his own life easier. I always kept my promises, and this was my promise to him. I would make sure he’d be ruined once I was sold off. Suddenly, San started laughing loudly and he pushed me away, making me fall into the iron bars as I was thrown off balance, making the others stare at the ground as his wild eyes looked around, challenging the other women to say anything. Nobody seemed to be able to do so and he left us alone, not even bothering to lock my cell door, showing just how much power he held over us. How little good my outburst did.
            Our night was sleepless after my little fiasco and the other women were beyond frightened, whispering amongst each other, sometimes throwing glares my way. I couldn’t care less, I didn’t do anything wrong, I did no harm to them, I just ruined my chances of ever getting out of here unscratched. It was hilarious how my plan backfired on me, but it only showed how unlucky I have been lately. Nothing was going my way and nothing would ever go my way from now on. When the heavy door finally opened again, everyone knew it was the morning. Everyone knew we got to the mainland. Everyone knew our doom was closer than ever. It was Mingi again, with San walking after him. Mingi was holding a bunch of clothes, their color an ugly orange, and he opened all the cages, handing us the dresses as we stood ready. He was respectful enough to walk away once we had the dresses in our hands, knowing that we’d have to change now. San, just like last time, remained, watching us with a very pleased expression on his face.
“Well, ladies,” He said in a cheery voice, walking down between the cages, “We have finally arrived, I hope you enjoyed sailing with Ateez.”
I sneered at his words, but undressed myself, staring at the dress in my hands with disgust. It was heavy in my hands, and thick, the design tasteless the longer I looked at it. I couldn’t believe I was forced to dress into something so atrocious, but I just swallowed and pulled it on, instantly regretting it. It stuck to my skin and warmed me up, making my skin itchier. I haven’t washed up in days and it was only making me feel dirtier than I already was. San just smiled at me, not sincere nor happy, just mocking as his eyes ran over my body.
“What a fall from grace, angel, I suppose a dress like that wasn’t on your wish list, was it?” I scoffed and look at him as I have finished tying the front of the dress together.
“Orange is not my color, so thank you, for making me look uglier.” I bowed my head mockingly at him, his lean frame leaning against the doorway of the cage.
“I don’t mean to sadden you, but the men won’t be looking at your dress at all, angel, just at your pretty face.” Something wasn’t right about the dress though, it was sitting weirdly against my collarbones, I could feel it. I pulled on the sleeves of it, but it didn’t do much to fix the feeling, and San rolled his eyes before he walked up to me. I stepped back slightly, trying to maintain a normal distance between our bodies, but he just kept walking towards me until my back hit the wall, leaving no space for me to escape. My heart started thumping fast and I couldn’t help the sudden heat on my cheeks, so I just looked away, trying to conceal my face from him. He chuckled, but paid no mind as he raised his hand, about to touch the collar of my dress, right above my breast, but I slapped his hand away, whipping my head around to face him. San raised an eyebrow but tried to touch me again, and I just slapped his hand away again, but before I could lower my hand, he caught my wrist in his hand, holding me firmly.
“Don’t you think if I wanted to do anything to you I would’ve done it already?” He asked quietly, both eyebrows raised as he studied my face. I gulped but didn’t look away, just ripped my wrist out of his hand. He huffed and touched the collar of my dress again, not gentle at all, as he yanked on the fabric, making me gasp. Suddenly, a white collar, which I haven’t noticed was there before, came up from underneath my dress, going from my breasts up to my shoulders. I tensed when San’s finger lightly grazed against my skin, too close to my breast, but when I looked at him, he was already looking at me. I hissed and held his wrist the same way he held mine.
“You fixed the dress already,” I snapped, “No need to keep touching me.”
“I was just checking to make sure I did it right.” San answered smugly and I released his wrist, pushing him slightly back, hoping he’d get the message to disappear and leave me alone. He chuckled and batted his eye lashes at me mockingly before he turned around to walk away. I glared at the back of his head, wishing he would just disappear, never to be seen or heard of. I figured he wouldn’t be easy to take down in a fight due to his physique and sheer force he always seemed to use, but what if his attacker had the element of surprise? What if he didn’t see nor hear his attacker? What if he never even thought that person would attack him?
Without a second thought, my body flung into motion, acting on its own. I strained the chains of the handcuffs connected together and charged towards San as he was still close enough to attack from behind. I got on my tip toes and threw the chain around his neck, pulling it harshly towards me. The other girls exclaimed loudly as San gasped, his hands holding onto the chain barely, trying to pull it away from his throat, but I used all my force and power to choke him. Eunchae started crying loudly as San tried gasping for air, his body falling into mine almost as I applied even more force, panting as San was fighting back. My arms were straining and my wrists started aching from the handcuffs, but I didn’t stop pulling on the chain, determined to get the others and myself out of here before it was too late. But my initial thoughts about San turned out to be true, he was a lot stronger than he looked like, and with one harsh tug, I face planted into his wide and firm back, knowing that I messed up really bad now. The other girls suddenly went quiet and all was heard was San’s ragged breathing, his back moving up and down quickly. I shuddered and prepared myself for the repercussion of my actions, which came straight away. San turned around and his dark eyes fell on mine as he grabbed me by the hair harshly, a new glint in his eyes as he watched me enraged. My cuffed hands were behind his back now and I tried to break free, raise the chain over his head and push him away, but San didn’t allow me to do so. His flexed palm came flying towards my face and I tried to cover away, but to my surprise, he hit my Adam’s apple with such force that all air left my lungs instantly, making me fall forward, into him. Despite trying to breathe, my throat closed up and I could do nothing as I started choking in San’s arms, his hand still holding my hair harshly, looking down at me. As dark spots appeared in my vision I could swear San’s eyes softened just a bit, a sinister smirk appearing on his lips. And then everything went black.
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            After getting knocked unconscious I woke up to being carried by San, the hot sun beaming down on my face. I gasped as I looked around, noticing that we were off the ship, even far away from the shore. Eunchae seemed to be walked by Mingi meanwhile another woman by a man I didn’t know, leading the group. I wasn’t chained up anymore and as I looked around, assessing the situation, San gave me one warning glare and muttered that if I tried running away or creating a scene he’d slit my throat before I could scream. That scared me enough to behave as we were led towards a run-down looking house, somewhere in the town. San placed me down minutes ago and I was able to walk on my own, his firm grip around my forearm keeping me close to his body. I took in our surroundings, trying to find a way of escape once San wasn’t by my side anymore, but we were quickly shoved inside the house, walked to a backroom, loud manly voices coming through the only other door in the room. My heart was in my throat, and I found myself sweating profoundly as San finally released me, giving me a glance before he disappeared through the door. I tried to take a peak while the door was open, and my heart sank when I saw tons of men in the other room. Was this really how our life would be from now on? Sold again and again, corrupted and used? I bit my lower lip and looked around the room, trying to find an exit, but there were no windows and the only door leading outside was blocked by Mingi, who seemed very focused in guarding the door. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked straight ahead, his hands clasped together in front of his body. He probably felt my gaze on him as he spared a glance my way, but when the other door opened, he quickly looked away. San stepped inside and dragged Hyolin away, slamming the door shut behind him. Eunchae started whimpering again as the other women gathered together, holding each other tightly. I found myself looking between the door and Mingi, begging with my eyes for him to let us go, but he wouldn’t look at me again. As Eunchae started crying, I found myself hugging her tightly, patting her head, telling her that everything would be alright. But nothing would be. She’ll be tainted, and I’ll be tainted too for life. I thought the Heavens wouldn’t do such thing to a human, but I realized my prayers were futile right now. No divine God would save me anymore. The door opened again and San took away another woman. Then another. And another. Two more went and when the door opened again, his eyes fell on Eunchae and I. I knew he’d come our way, so I pushed Eunchae behind myself and stood tall and fearless, staring him down. A smirk appeared on his lips as he stopped a few steps away from me, going to grab my cheek. I flinched and closed my eyes, but suddenly Eunchae’s wail snapped me back to reality, my eyes widening as San started pulling her after him.
“No—no—San—” But his glare instantly silenced me as he reached the door, eyes ablaze. Eunchae tried to wipe her tears away out of fear and tried to look somewhat composed, but one warning look from San made them fall again. I went to run up to them, but the other woman remaining in the room with me grabbed my wrist as San and Eunchae disappeared through the door, the young girl never to be seen again. My heart clenched and I wanted to cry out. I wanted to trash the room we were in. I wanted to rip the dress of myself and I wanted someone to punch me until my face was all bruised up, never to be called beautiful again. I hated everything about this. The tug on my wrist was harsh and I sniffed as I came face to face with the other woman, whose name was Dahyun.
“Pull it together,” She snapped, her own eyes teary, “You were the bravest out of all of us, if anyone can escape this, it’s you.”
I sniffed, a few tears falling from my eyes, “But he took Eunchae, I can’t run off like that—all of you will suffer, I can’t—”
“Stop thinking about us.” Dahyun’s voice raised but she glanced at Mingi and continued in a whisper, “We’re a lost cause, we don’t matter anymore. Save yourself while you can, Y/N, San seems to have taken a slight liking to you, use that to your advantage. You can charm anyone you want to.”
Her words gave me a little courage and I wiped my tears away, muttering a quiet ‘alright’ as the door opened and San looked inside. How did Eunchae get sold so fast? All of the other girls took around five to ten minutes, it’s been barely three. My heart clenched as I tried looking through the open door, the younger girl nowhere in sight. Dahyun seemed to have understood San as she sighed and released me, placing on a poker face as she walked towards him, brushing his hand off her forearm as she walked through the door by herself. San’s eyes met mine and his face was unreadable as he closed the door. I was next. I was the last one. After this, San would walk back to the pirate ship rich and I would walk away with a destroyed life. I had to stop this. I couldn’t just stand here and wait for my awful fate to happen.
“Do you enjoy this?” I found myself turning around, glaring at Mingi, “Watching women get sold off to some disgusting pigs?!”
Mingi didn’t react as he stared at the wall blankly, “Does it bring satisfaction to you seeing us in pain and despair? Are we really just some objects in your eyes?”
I was trying to make him feel any sort of emotion, but Mingi just sighed and slightly glanced at me.
“Please, I don’t deserve this—”
“I know, but it’s none of my business what happens here.” Mingi finally has had enough, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me with pity, “Everyone on the ship makes money in their own ways and I won’t sabotage San’s way of working.”
I gulped, trying to convince him somehow to let me go, “This is not about San, Mingi. This is about you. Your morals and what you believe in. Your dignity and respect for others—for women.”
“Shut up, please,” The tall man looked at me defeated, his hands clenched into fists, “once San decides to do something, nobody can stop him. If you think me stepping aside and letting you run away will help, will save you, trust me…it won’t. You could hide anywhere in the four seas and four kingdoms, and San would still find you. And once he does, he won’t be nice to you, he won’t try and sell you off again, Y/N. He’ll torture you until you’re barely breathing and then he’ll kill you in the slowest way possible, making you regret that you dared run away. He’s scarier than you think and he’s certainly more dangerous than you could ever imagine.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but the door opened behind me again. Mingi tensed and quickly averted his eyes back onto the wall, San raising an eyebrow at him as he walked up to me, grabbing my forearm and whirling me around. My jaw clenched and I looked to the side, ignoring San’s burning gaze on my face. I knew he wanted me to look at him, but I wouldn’t. I had enough of his disgusting face. Not wasting any more seconds, he started walking, dragging me after him as my legs refused to move on their own. I really didn’t want to go through the door and when San’s hand gripped the knob, I panicked.
“Please,” I gasped out, hands flying up and holding his cheeks, San’s eyes going wide, “Please, don’t do this to me. I can make you rich in other ways. I can—I can work for you for the rest of my life, please, don’t sell me off. I’ve—I’ve never been touched—by a man before—”
It felt humiliating admitting this to him, but this was my last chance, I had to do my best. San’s dark colored eyes stared deeply into mine, seemingly lost in them as I cupped his cheeks firmly, standing on my tip toes to try and make this more intimate. All I could do was whisper, too scared that my voice would shake if I spoke any louder, “I can sing, I have a beautiful voice. I’m sure you have connections, if you place me amongst wealthy people I can perform for them and all the money will go to you. All you have to do is give me pretty dresses and I’ll handle the rest myself, please, San.”
I really thought my words got through to him as he relaxed in my hold, one hand gently holding my hand against his cheek. He sucked in a deep breath and then his eyes hardened, making me shake my head in a plea. San slowly peeled my hands off his cheeks, tugging me closer as our noses were just inches away from each other.
“Behave.” Was all he said before the door was opened and I was walked outside, the breath knocked from my lungs as I took in the sight before me. At least fifteen men were in the room, sitting helter-skelter and watching me with curious eyes, which slowly turned lustful. I felt my body shake as San still held onto me harshly, making sure I wouldn’t run away. My legs felt numb, even if I tried to, I wouldn’t have been able to move. All of my nightmares sat right in front of me and I bit my lower as San cleared his throat.
“Im Y/N.” His voice held authority as he looked down on everyone, eyes slits, “Quite the beauty, as you can see. She’s a little bit temperamental, but she’s got a rather calm and sweet nature. And I can assure you her voice is just as beautiful as her face and body.”
My jaw clenched and I side glanced San, feeling his grip tighten around me in warning. Everyone was quiet as they watched me and when San nudged me, I understood. He wanted me to sing. But I didn’t want to sing. I felt like a bird held in a cage, only used when needed, never to be free again. Like an imprisoned nightingale. I gulped once and closed my eyes, sighing loudly. If he wanted me to sing, I would sing. The first few octaves were quiet and frail as my voice wavered, but I quickly corrected my pitch and started singing the song about a poor girl taken hostage in a fire exchange between bandits and the constables, only to die an unfortunate death when her kidnapper accidentally killed her after promising to release her once the constables stopped chasing them. The song was short and sad, it usually made people cry, even I felt like crying right now, understanding the poor girl from the song very well. Claps erupted throughout the room, but I didn’t open my eyes, I didn’t want to see who would be my buyer. San had to say nothing as the men started shouting ridiculous sums of money, each one of them trying to be the highest bidding. The room went silent when a deep voice shouted that they were offering five gold bars and a sack full of coins. I heard San gasping quietly beside me and my eyes flew open, falling on a man in his mid-thirties, a black mustache on his face. His eyes were kind and his face friendly as he smiled at me, dressed better than anyone else in the room. Why did he want me? To make me his own captive bird? Despite being the most well dressed in the room, and the kindest and purest looking, there was something in his eyes which sent chills down my body and I knew that my life wouldn’t be long next to that man.
“Sold to the man with the white hat!” San suddenly exclaimed, beaming at the man and bowing his head as he started dragging me back to the room I was held in until now. I looked at him confused, but when he opened the door, Mingi already had a white dress in his hands, waiting for me. San said nothing as he pushed me inside and then slammed the door shut behind me, leaving me with Mingi. My heart was beating like crazy when Mingi walked up to me, carefully extending his arms for me to take the dress, but my legs gave out and I fell forward. Mingi went stiff as I held onto him, suddenly crying into his chest, too short to reach any higher. It took him a few seconds before he reacted, but he started patting my back awkwardly, trying to calm me down. I was bawling by now and I realized how vulnerable Mingi was being right now, perhaps the Heaven’s offered me one last chance. A chance I instantly took. I gripped his arms firmly and kneeled him in the crotch abruptly, making him cry out. I pushed him away and raced towards the door, finding it unlocked. I flung it open and cried out in happiness, not looking back as I took off sprinting, trying to find the center of the town we were in, needing to find the constable this instant. My dress was too long and too thick, but I didn’t care as I raised them above my knees and ran around like a mad woman, getting strange looks from the people walking down the streets, my cheeks still wet from my tears. I was panting by the time I made it to the busier part of the town and I allowed myself to stop for a minute to try and catch my breath. People walked around, all busy with their own things, merchants shouting whatever they had to offer at their stalls. The sun beamed down on me and I couldn’t have felt even more blessed as I allowed myself to chuckle in pure happiness. I was free.
I looked around again, and to utmost luck, my eyes fell on a man wearing a uniform, signaling he was from the night watch. It didn’t matter what his function was as long as he was a figure of authority, someone whom I could ask for help from. The officer was looking around too, watching the people, and when his eyes stopped on me, he slightly smiled. My heart somersaulted and I took off towards him, mouth already forming to cry out for him to help me, when an all too familiar hand around my waist gripped me and turned me around. I bumped into the body, starting to struggle against him, when suddenly a sharp knife was pressed against my liver. It cut through the dress I was wearing and my breath stuttered as I looked up in San’s angry eyes. He found me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip myself away from him. I wanted to punch and kick him until he wasn’t breathing anymore.
“If you scream, angel, I swear on the Heavens I will kill you right here.” I whimpered when I felt the knife pressing against my skin harder, gripping San’s biceps as if that would’ve stopped him from doing anything to me. San’s eyes darted to the side and I followed his sight, a lump forming in my throat as the officer was walking towards us, eyebrows furrowed. San looked back down at me, eyebrows slightly furrowing before he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I started protesting, gripping his biceps even harder, hoping he’d release me from the pain, but he just pressed his lips harder against mine. I glanced at the officer with desperation written all over my face and San swiftly pulled back just enough to stare in my eyes threateningly, his lips touching mine as he hissed at me.
“If you don’t make it look like we’re a couple, I will torture you until you beg me to kill you.” I really, really wanted to cry, but as San’s lips pressed against mine again, I kissed him back. I made no effort to follow his lead or put any power in the kiss, just smacked my lips against his a few times, hoping it would be enough as I started feeling light headed from the heath and the terror San put me through. His lips were finally away from mine.
“You shouldn’t run away every time we have an argument, angel.” San spoke loudly enough for the officer to hear us as he was close enough, the knife from San’s hand magically having disappeared, “I’m always worried sick about you.”
I just stared into San’s eyes blankly, seeing the officer from the corner of my eyes walk off with a smile, shaking his head. No. I was back in the arms of my kidnapper. Why did I try so hard if it was in vain in the end? San let out a long breath, his forehead wrinkling as he scrunched up his nose, sweat glistening on his temples. He hung his head low, sucking his cheeks in as he held onto my waist with his other hand too, flushing me against his body.
“If I wouldn’t have sold you off already, I would really kill you right now, Y/N.” My jaw clenched at his words and I slightly pushed his biceps, making him look at me.
“I told you I could get you more money if you just allowed me to sing to the wealthy, San.” I tried to coerce him into finally giving in to me, “You get this large sum just once, it will go away eventually. But if you keep me around—if you let me sing—I can bring you weekly the same amount.” I was reaching, but it was worth the try. San didn’t seem to believe me either, and I could feel the resilience radiating off him, so I tried my last method. The method I hated the most, but if it would soften him enough to give in, I had to do it. I cupped his cheeks again and watched his eyes slightly widen as I closed mine, pressing my lips against his. San went stiff as our warm lips molded together, and despite me trying to move mine, his didn’t move. He wasn’t reciprocating it. He refused to fall for my last trick. And it truly was my last trick as I started pulling back defeated, eyes filling with tears, when San cupped my cheeks harshly and crashed his lips against mine. He wasn’t gentle at all, not that I expected him to be, as his lips moved hungrily against mine, devouring me. It was hard to keep up with him as I have never kissed anyone before, but I found my heart thumping loudly in my eardrums as our teeth clashed together, San dominating the kiss. His grip was crushing my cheeks and my lungs were screaming for air as my hands had fallen to his hips, gripping him, reminding myself that I couldn’t fall for his trick. My body was reacting weirdly to his actions, yearning for his lips as he pulled back, taking my lower lip in between his teeth, sucking on it. I felt my cheeks heat up at the action and I was embarrassed, slightly disgusted for making out with him, but fired up. San panted against my lips and he chuckled smugly as I refused to open my eyes, ashamed.
“This took an interesting turn of events, angel, don’t you think?” I didn’t answer him, afraid of what my voice would sound like, but when he nudged my nose with his, I wordlessly nodded, “What did you say? That you can bring me more money weekly than what that crazy rich man just offered me?”
My eyes flew open and the glint of mischief in San’s eyes brought a sense of hope into my system, truly so emotionally tired, that I believed he was genuine this time, “Yes, I can.”
San’s chuckle was high pitched and a crazy look appeared on his face as he bumped his nose against mine again, pushing my head back as he released my cheeks, “Very well, angel, very well.”
I didn’t fully understand what was happening, but I released his hips too as San’s arm went around my shoulders, pulling me into his side as he started walking, “Don’t think you’ll ever be free again, Y/N, because from today on…you’re mine.”
From getting sold off to getting owned by a pirate, neither sounded good nor like a pleasant life. I really didn’t want to cry anymore, but I still wasn’t free. No, I was just owned for life by a deranged and dangerous pirate, who would find me no matter where I went.
I was afraid not even my fantasy worlds were able to save me from the nightmare I found myself tangled up in.
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amorisastrum · 4 months
Text
What if the Knox and Chris sub-plot had meaning?
WAIT NO GUYS IM SORRY PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I BEG PLE-
Okay I'm starting this post off by restating my downright hatred for Knox. I do not like his character, what he did was wrong, it's creepy and fucking disgusting. I will however like to talk about how his relationship with Chris could have potentially added to the story.
We all know (at least I hope) that practically everything in this film has meaning. I had spent ages wondering why they thought it was a good idea to include this frankly ridiculous sub plot to the story. And then I thought about it. Like really thought about it. I don't exactly remember what I was doing when I thought about it, but I do know that I had DPS playing in the background. (I initially thought about this on April 7th. It is May 29th when I am typing this up.)
So, here are all my reasons as to why I think they added the Knox and Chris sub-plot!
My first point is about this scene:
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I believe that this line could be a form of foreshadowing. Yes, it is Knox being a dramatic and insufferable prick but it also feels like it could be more. Obviously it isn't Knox who dies in the end, but the idea of not being able to have something leading to suicide feels very important to the story.
Neil is unable to achieve a career in acting because of his father. As well as this, he is being taken away from his family. His real family. By not being able to have this thing that he so desperately wants, he feels like there is no other solution than death.
Knox says that if he can't have Chris he will kill himself, Neil has practically everything he loves stripped away from him- he cannot have it. So... He kills himself. There is a lot of foreshadowing in this film that hints to Neil's death at the end of the film and I do truly believe that this is a part of that foreshadowing.
My next point is that it is used as a form of contrast.
We see that Knox is extremely open about his attraction to Chris... In a multitude of ways, repeatedly throughout the film. Whether his actions that show his attraction are good or not is a different matter (Knox... God how I hate you.)
Arguably this is used as a juxtaposition. Knox (and Chris?) are relatively open about their attraction to one another- while Neil and Todd are very closed off about it. It is never explicitly stated that Neil and Todd like each other in that way, but through subtext it is heavily implied.
Why might this be? Well, considering the film is set in 1959, it could be because homosexuality simply wasn't legal at this point in time. Neil and Todd weren't allowed to be open about liking each other. Being open about it could put them in danger, they had no choice but to stay quiet.
However, as well as a contrast, it poses similarities between Knox and Chris and Neil and Todd. By setting up this contrast, it only brings to the surface some quite significant similarities.
Because let's be real.
How can THIS be a look of true love...
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And THIS not be?
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Or falling in love or admiring one's beauty or WHATEVER you want to call it. That's not the point. The point is, they're not that different.
You can see similarities between Knox's behaviour towards Chris and Todd's behaviour towards Neil (and vice versa). One of the main similarities is, well, how they look at one another. I personally don't see how the way Knox and Chris look at each other is true love but the way Todd and Neil look at one another is just... Them being roommates.
The juxtaposition between the two sets of people (I didn't know how else to say this) just doesn't seem accidental. The constant mention of Knox's feelings and love towards Chris just makes the way Neil and Todd interact more obviously... Romantic? Loving?
Their love is stated to allow the audience to see how similar they are to Todd and Neil, while still sticking to one of the key concepts of the film - conformity. Neil and Todd having to conform to societal standards, not being able to share their love for one another.
Knox's feelings for Chris are explicitly stated, repeatedly, because Todd's and Neil's can't. It makes it more noticeable. Neil and Todd's feelings can't really be stated due to the law. So they do it with Knox instead. The similarities can be seen throughout the film in how Knox treats Chris and how Neil and Todd treat one another.
Because again, how can Knox look at Chris like that and that show that he is in love, but Neil look at Todd like that and that just be... Them being friends?
The answer is, it can't. Not really.
Although Knox is a lot more explicit with his feelings towards Chris than the other two are with one another, the feelings they have are the same. Whether it is portrayed in the same way or not, it's love.
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queenscodex · 2 years
Text
When your on your period
Dorm leaders; Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus
Female reader !
Warnings; mentions of blood, cramps and period stuff under the cut
Headcanons
Notes; a post no one saw coming hshshs. Im not dead :] wrote this before my break, not caught up with story or lore
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Riddle Rosehearts
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Among all the dorm leaders, Riddle is among the best and dependable when it comes to taking care of his girlfriend during shark week.
He even marks it down on his calendar so he can prepare in advance beforehand :'D
In the beginning he will be inexperienced, confused but determined to help you in any way possible.
The only female figure in his life was his mother who rarely touched upon the topic of periods. But after the first and second times, he becomes really reliable
He has a lot of patience and handles your mood swings fairly well. Though there are times you may catch a glimpse of surprise in his eyes, your mood switches unexpectedly.
Where did all these emotions come from? He can only imagine
Speaking of which, Riddle has come prepared for any and all moods you may be feeling.
Upset? He has some sweets and herbal tea ready for you.
Sad? No matter, he's coming back with some fluffy blankets and promises of snuggles.
Angry? He's taking out the emergency snack box he's got store
Riddle also has tea suited for any pains you may experience! Ginger tea for any cramps, honey lemon tea if you're feeling particularly nauseous, and some lavender tea for headaches.
He has some meds if that's what you prefer though !
He even asks Trey to prepare more sweets than usual, all in hopes to distract you from the pain.
Anyone who touches your tarts are dead
He gets Heartslabyul, mainly Ace and Deuce to tone down their mischievous antics, preventing any other distractions or bothers that may hinder your day.
He's a bit bashful when it comes to buying pads. He'll still do it but avoids eye contact with the nearby people while dawning little blush on his cheeks. He even stocks up on some heating pads if that helps with his girlfriend's pain.
" My rose, is it that time of month? No need to worry, I'll ask Trey to prepare some tarts; would you like it with less sugar or more?"
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Leona Kingscholar
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Not the best, oofles
Leona, when it comes to taking care of his girlfriend while she's on her period, can be a bit of an ass. Added on that his understanding of such can be limited
But that's not to say he's entirely oblivious, he understands the key aspects to it.
He still makes an effort though, you're his girlfriend after all and seeing you twist and turn in pain only causes him to be in a foul mood.
Makes the argument that you wake him up but that's not entirely the truth
He thought that some teasing may help lighten the mood. But that very much did nothing to mend the situation. If anything his behavior may make you more annoyed at first.
For the most part he leaves you alone unless you explicitly state you want him to be with you and vice versa.
His worst fear? His usually calm(?) gf snapping at him cause you run out of sugar packets
He can't really keep up with your mood swings, if anything the sudden shift in behavior only makes him annoyed as he struggles to understand what you want. Dw he gets better with each month but man doesn't know what you wa n t.
He makes the effort to tone down any teasing and blunt nature(though as nature does it can slip out without warning).
Whatever you need he's spending Ruggie to get it while he keeps you company. This includes pads, need any? Ruggie will get it for you, poor guy
Though Leona isn't opposed to getting you pads and other things himself if ruggie can't do so.
When it comes to sleeping, he resorts to resting on your stomach hoping that his added body heat combined with a heating pad will help soothe you
Prepares some warm foods he thinks would help comfort his girlfriend such as soups and nutritious meats, all cooked to your liking.
He makes sure you eat it too and not skip on any meals. Imagine him over your shoulder tapping his foot impatiently as he nudges the spoon to your lips
keeps a close eye on your body language, picking up any discomfort you may be displaying and when he notices these signs, he is quick to send Ruggie off to pick up medication or heating pad depending on the situation
" I prepared you some soup, I believe it will help with the cramps. Now eat up, I'm not leaving till you're alright."
-
Azul Ashengrotto
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Panics, a lot
His girlfriend will have to explain what periods are
Probably thought you were dying with all the blood leaving your body. And when he found out that was something you had to deal with early in the month? in disbelief and yet still curious about human anatomy
Having to endure terrible pains for extended time? 'Your very strong my dear'
On one hand Azul is dependable; however, he has moments where he is unsure of what to do since periods don't really occur within the Coral Sea(at least that's my hc).
But he very quickly masters what he should do when that time of month draws near
He notes that you should drink plenty of water with some pain killers if need be. He has a glass set beside your bed and that will never be empty, he will be constantly refilling it as needed.
Can't handle your mood swings. He's a patient person but seeing his girlfriend's behavior change every few minutes makes him internally panic and at a loss of what to do.
Especially when you cry. He made be compelled to cry as well :<
Thankfully, he has the entirety of the Monstro Lounge at his aid. He can cook you up some quality meals that will help with your period, both nutritious and easy to the stomach. Along with the many meals, Azul also buys you a lot of snacks, many of your favorite types
He offers some messages whenever his girlfriend gets some cramps. His fingers are nimble on your shoulders, feet, and hands, trying to distract you from the pain.
He really hopes this works because he doesn't know what to do otherwiseeee
He isn't one to become really embarrassed when it comes to buying pads since he isn't really aware of what it is, and seeing as it will help his girlfriend he doesn't give it much of a second thought. Though he does become uneasy at some of the stares he gets.
Although he panics at times, Azul puts aside a lot of time to keep an eye on his girlfriend, his eyes attentive to any of her needs. At some point he even starts to mark it down on his calendar with little reminders to bring you food, water at random intervals throughout the day
" What are they called again? Pads? Alright, I will be back with a pack soon. In the meantime, I have drawn you a bath, I hope that will soothe your aches until I return."
-
Kalim Al Asim
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Clueless boy but still tries his best :D
Though clueless Kalim does have a moderate understanding of periods and what to do. He has many younger siblings, and periods are a normal thing that occurs and one shouldn't be ashamed of it
However, because he has grown used to the aid of servants, when it comes to taking care of his girlfriend he can be a bit lost but gives his best attempt nonetheless
Kalim is going to do everything in his power to make sure his girlfriend is comfortable. He will build a little nest of pillows and stack some blankets of different varieties. Still feels uncomfortable? No need, Kalim will buy a ton more pillows with extra fluff.
Will spoil you so rotten
Is bewildered by your mood swings and comes to understand that there will be times you want to be alone and other times you want to be affectionate. Regardless, he remains calm with a smile on his face, hoping his happy nature will at the very least ease his girlfriends worries
Feeling hungry? Kalim will buy the entire snack section of the store. He doesn't know what to get you so why not buy everything? He has a snack ready for you at any given moment.
You could be sleeping and upon waking up, you'd be met with a pile of your favorite snacks beside, with a little note from Kalim(filled with little doodles <333)
Kalim becomes heart broken when he sees you in pain. Clutches you close to him, resting his head on top of your own. Let's you squeeze his hand whenever the pain becomes overwhelming
He is not even the slightest embarrassed when it comes to buying pads. And like the snacks, he buys many packs since he isn't sure which one will be the best, pick your favorite !
During the process, Kalim becomes more clingy(unless you need space, that's perfectly fine as well !)sticking by your side for as long as he can.
He cuddles with you more and rest against your torso during the night, giving light pecks
Kalim lets you get onto his back if your feet ache or in too much pain to move. He even takes you on a magic carpet ride if the pain becomes too much, using it like as a distraction
Whatever you need he'll get you <3
" The new pillows I ordered came in, wanna switch them out? I read these ones were made specifically for periods."
-
Vil Schoenheit
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Like Riddle, Vil is very dependable during these times and handles the situation with care. He is always preparing a few days before the start of your period(as he marks it on his own calendar), just to be ready for anything his girlfriend may face
Does his own research and looks for the best methods to help someone during this time of month.
He even goes to his agency to let them know he may be busy for the next few days tending and caring for you ♡
Vil will buy the highest quality and most comfortable pads and tampons out there. He carries some on his person in case of an emergency along with a pair of pants or shorts. And with the pads he also carries some medication, making sure you take the medicine at the right hours.
No need to worry about heating pads or tea, he's already got those pre ordered and it's the top of quality and does wonders
Vil becomes very observant to what you're eating, cutting back any caffeine or spicy foods and instead giving you a light meal with fruits.
Will seduce you into healthy eating habits 😙
takes care of any work you need to finish, such as any laundry, cleaning or any school stuff as you rest.
Something he isn't the best at though is when it comes to your mood swings. It can be unnerving sometimes, especially if you're upset. Vil tries to keep a straight face during these moments but his brows furrowed together every so often.
Vil takes his girlfriend to get a message whenever her body starts to ache along with other self-care activities to distract you from the pain.
Meanwhile at home, he is cuddling with you in bed, rubbing shapes on your back, sweet whispers meeting your ears as you fall asleep
" All the pain will be gone soon, sweet potato. Right now focus on the sound of my voice, how what does a luxury spa day with messages sound to you hmm?."
-
Idia Shroud
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Help him, he doesn't know what to do and panics a lot
Idia has zero knowledge on what periods are, with the exceptions of some things mentioned in anime and read online but he's still clueless on what to do. 
It's a process of trial and error, noting what works best and what he needs to alter and fix. 
Your mood swings make him p a n i c. The look of surprise is easily readable on his face like an open book, his eyes widening in surprise as he arms bunch up to his chest. 
From that point he is always anticipating for your mood to change and tries to do anything to prevent you from getting upset, cause let's be real, you're scary when mad. 
He even goes through the effort to clean his room a bit so his girlfriend can easily find her things without getting annoyed with the mess(not that you had a problem with it in the first place)
Idia gets you lots of snacks, especially sweets. He has a stash hidden in one of his drawers, it's his 'girlfriend is hungry, panic button' saved for these times of month. 
He also buys a weighted blanket, many of them, all with the purpose to provide heat during the night
He tries to give you messages but it can be rough sometimes as his movements become shaky, sometimes pinching you involuntarily. 
Idia places a hot towel on top of your stomach when the cramps become too much, changes it occasionally when bringing you a glass of water + medicine 
He tries to distract you by gathering all your blankets and pillows and creates a nest around the couch, and puts on a nice anime to watch while you cuddle against him, munching on the many candies he has store away
Idia pefers to buy the pads and tampons online. But since shipping takes a few days, he was forced to exit the den that is his dorm room and go to the store. He runs in quick, grabs a few packs before dashing away- next time he resorts to buying it online in advance
May become a bit of a broken record, asking you daily if there was anything you need.
But feels like the proudest person alive when it all pays out in the end in the form of cuddles and affection from his girlfriend <3
" Do you need anything? I- I have some candies, we can share if you like. Ah… I don't know what I'm doing."
-
Malleus Draconia
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Malleus, as a fae can he probably smell blood and was concerned at first. If you're bleeding does that mean your hurt? Then whoever hurt you will face the wrath of the dragon fae.
Much like Azul, his girlfriend would have to teach Malleus about periods and that it's an normal thing that happens every month.
Malleus' response was to look at your stomach and poke at it a few times, like that's going to stop the blood. Good attempt tho 😗👍
Although not very knowledgeable in what periods are, he becomes a master of taking care of his lover within the first few months- he's also another one who tracks her period and marks it down.
If you thought Kalim was spoiling, Malleus takes it to another level. It's a sea of pillows and blankets with him, always having a new pillow to try out if the last one was too bulky or something.
He tries to make the atmosphere as cheery and light as possible to mask the situation, every morning you wake up with a vase of flowers and a little glass of water.
Malleus holds some medication, heating pads, tampons and any other thing you need on his person while you're both in public, he doesn't want you to worry about a thing.
He buys lots of ice cream during these days among your other favorite snacks and goods. May end up overdoing it and buying more than needed but at least your stock up for next month-!
Gives some of the best messages!! Works out any aches you may have, easily soothing the pain you may have.
Kisses your stomach, he knows it won't help with the cramps but maybe it can help his girlfriend feel even a little bit better. Each kiss is gentle and soft, perhaps a bit feathery to your skin
Malleus handles your mood swings pretty well. He was surprised at first at how quickly you changed moods based on a small little thing but he learns to adapt and change whatever is bothering at you in a given moment
Many dates ! Takes you on panics under the moonlight, walks around the school and other activities that will work to distract you from the cramps and stiff feelings
Compliments. Many many many compliments. With mood swings can come with some undesired thoughts about one's self. Malleus will always voice his love for you and the worth you have. A day will never pass in which he forgets to do so <33.
" My treasure, though you may see yourself as undesirable, I see the most beautiful person in this world. I truly wished I could take away your pain."
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okay let's get them hard truths out in the open following episode 6, bearing in mind that i am in the UK and am therefore chronically sleep-deprived, and have watched the Feral Domestic™ maybe only like oh 7 times:
crowley is as much at fault as aziraphale. they are both as bad as each other. their own individual idiosyncrasies are literally the other's emotional downfall and if im honest im not entirely sure there's any way they can adequately move past it.
waxed on and on and on about it, but aziraphale's issue is not that he has any allegiance to heaven. he doesn't at all, and that is obvious in his initial reaction to the metatron, in that he essentially says that he knows his place and it is not Up Above. it is right there in the bookshop, and with crowley (even if he didn't consciously think it that explicitly at the time). he doesn't want any part of the heaven that it currently is, he has had enough and is tired of trying to be the angel that hides who he is and what he wants from his existence. that much is very much clear.
but the mantra throughout most of life is to be the change you want to see in the world. look at the major societal issues that are happening in the world today; people are rising up and fighting for what is right, and what they believe in, and wanting to make changes. now look at this opportunity that aziraphale has been given. regardless of the questionable motive of the metatron offering it to him; if you were in his position, could you say you'd find it easy to refuse that?
the issue here with aziraphale is that he (again, ill harp on about it until the cows come home) thinks that crowley - this demon that isn't a good demon because he is good and kind and gentle - would want to have his place in making that change happen; be by aziraphale's side whilst they create the world and heaven that is different from the largely shit one they've always known, hated, and feared. this is where the Pedestal comes in; like i said before, aziraphale has now been confronted with the fact that this demon, his best friend and love of his life, is acting in the way he's always acted but that aziraphale refuses to acknowledge... because to acknowledge crowley's shortcomings (which ill discuss in a sec) would be to question aziraphale's faith in him, and mean falling from the pedestal that has been aziraphale's status quo for the last few thousand years at minimum.
edit: this also needed adding because it touches on aziraphale's tendency to hold himself superior to crowley, which he also does in the Domestic scene.
crowley's issue is twofold. one, he cannot move on from the fall. second, that he is sometimes a manipulative and childish shit. the first is obvious, and his recent experiences with heaven have only compounded this (ie his conversation with gabriel/goob, where he lays into him about gabriel's part in the cruelty shown towards aziraphale to the point he almost makes goob kill/injure himself). crowley can also however be incredibly cruel borne out of his own pain. there were major hints in s2 that not only did crowley fall (no matter what the metatron says, im still not convinced he fell for only asking questions) but he fell from a great sodding height that in his mind should have made him untouchable. my thoughts on morality in heaven have already been discussed, but that must have had a huge impact on crowley; it is no wonder that it's a sore point and he feels bitter, resentful, and angry.
in the above context, id want nothing to do with heaven either. but crowley doesn't communicate and im guessing that his feelings about the fall are a No Go area in terms of what he's shared with aziraphale... so for crowley to assume that aziraphale turned down the metatron is grossly unfair - how was aziraphale necessarily meant to know how deep his trauma (if we're applying human mental health constructs) runs? he isn't to know that at all - so it does track that aziraphale would think that crowley would want to help him make a difference so they don't have to keep getting involved in the toxicity that is the heaven/hell politico-moral dichotomy.
what also upset me about the Domestic was the kiss. i loved it for what it was in isolation and it was a long time coming, and a huge movement in the dance they constantly have with each other, but it was in essence manipulative. i realise crowley was on his last emotional straw and yes, perhaps the love and devotion got too much for him to contain... but he literally just stood there and heard aziraphale tell him that he wanted crowley and he wanted them to be together. there were no qualms at all that aziraphale loves him as much as he loves aziraphale. so, what was the kiss meant to prove?
to my mind, it was manipulation; specific, a temptation. whilst very romantic and 'sweep him off his feet with the violins playing', it was also non-consensual and unwarranted on crowley's part - to the point of being derogatory and redundant (lets be clear: not a criticism on Neil for adding the kiss, im purely talking about crowley as a character and his Choices here). there was nothing to prove, nothing that that kiss could have possibly convinced aziraphale to do. so the only thing that leaves, imo, is that it was a temptation. crowley does not typically use temptation in this way, or at least that's the impression ive had throughout s1 and s2, so he chooses now is the time? to tempt aziraphale into staying with him? of course he does!
he's desperate, but also childish and immature and completely ignorant of what aziraphale is actually saying to him. aziraphale never denied him; aziraphale wanted him in this opportunity exactly by his side as he always has been. but that didn't fit with what crowley wanted, so he tried to make aziraphale bend to his will. aziraphale says the fatal words "i forgive you", but if he has (as i suspect he has) realised that crowley was trying to manipulate him... well, id probably say something as damning to crowley as 'i forgive you' too.
when aziraphale said 'nothing last forever', i realise crowley took that to mean him and the life that they built together, but it obviously wasn't that at all. aziraphale is saying that they have eternity ahead of them, that he wants to spend it with crowley, whatever has to end around them (ahem the world? apocalypse from s1, anyone?). aziraphale demonstrated consistently throughout s2 that he is trying to give crowley his own agency where heaven/hell are concerned (paraphrased but: "I want you to help me but if you don't want to, you are free to leave"). crowley however seemed that he was constantly one foot out the door in case things got Too Much (which, you know - valid) but aziraphale really did his best to make crowley not only not feel suffocated but also that crowley was wanted. and for anyone that is a tough balancing act.
the two of them have had 6000+ years of Not Really Communicating. this is the detritus that remains when they don't, and it was absolutely needed in this season. for them to break apart and break in and of themselves. s3 needs to be where they learn more about themselves than each other, and stop believing that the other is infallible, because such thinking - worship, blind faith - only ends badly.
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soggyriceee · 11 months
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Hey girlie!! So I saw the “I’m fine” one you did with Captain price and I absolute loved! (u’re so creative, it’s impressive) anyway I wanted to ask if you could do something similar for König maybe?
Like how it went after “strawberry” please 🫶🏻
im fine | Konig
summary: request
lowkey sub Konig but like.. he’s topping??? oral(f!recieving), fingering, unprotected p in v, both of you guys are some horny desperate fucks
Konig hadn't touched you for a while. it was becoming more he was scared of you than just not interested in having sex. he wouldn't cuddle you, not unless you explicitly asked. even then he was always tense and sort of standoffish about it. he rarely kissed you, scared he'd grab you for a kiss a way that scared you or made you uncomfortable. he was genuinely scared of you and scared of hurting you.
but you hated that. it made you feel like had you not passed out and said that word, you guys would be good now. but it was too late. the trauma from that night sticking with both of you. and Konig wasn't trying to make it that way. he did often kiss you but very quickly, he would hold your hand but very loosely. hugs were spread thin. he was so upset with himself still, he hadn't realized his distance was disturbing you.
so tonight you had decided to have a sit down conversation with him about it. because you needed more than what you were getting. it was affecting the relationship and your own anxiety tremendously. you needed his touch, romantically ad sexually. it had literally been three months.
you had been on the phone with your friend about this for a while, shopping for dinner tonight. " I think its good to open up about that to him. in my opinion sex plays a major role in a healthy long lasting relationship." she said as you stepped up to the self checkout POS. "I know.. im making a really nice dinner tonight hopefully it will get him to listen more. do you think that'd work?" you asked, tapping your, well his, card.
your friend was extremely supportive of your communication with him about your sex life. she didnt understand the concept of being with one lover. often times she blamed it on her parental issues. but despite her lack of understanding for that, she always tried to give you the best, most logical advice she could. "I think whatever you do, this man will listen to you. I dont think you need to cook a whole meal, but it could help. but hold on, one of my hookups are calling." and quickly the call ended.
the drive home was silent for you. your usual music now paused. you were too caught up in thinking the night over, you were manually driving at this point. you hadn't even fully processed that you were pulling into your driveway until you saw your neighbor wave at you. you smiled, giving a small wave back as you put the car in break.
as you stepped into the house, bags in hand, the house was pretty quiet. Konig was awake when you left, cleaning the kitchen since you had done the shopping. you placed the bags on the kitchen floor, looking around the spacious house for your tall boyfriend. but he wasn't in sight.
instead of putting the groceries away, risking the ice cream melting in the bag, you made your way upstairs, looking at the photos of you an Konig on different vacations you took together. as you reached the bedroom, you heard what would usually turn you on, but this time made you panic. you heard Konigs moans. and another woman.
now, of course, this is a heart stopping moment for anyone. whether it was just porn and physically another woman, he was getting off to another woman. and maybe thats just the thoughts forming from how distant Konig's been recently. but you felt like throwing up in that instant.
but when you softly pushed the door open, your anxiety somewhat smoothed out. the more you opened the door, the more it sounded like you. as the door opened enough for you to see Konig, you were meet with one of the most unholy sights.
on the bed, Konig had his head thrown back, whimpers leaving his slightly parted lips. as you moved down his body, you took into mind the sweat on his neck, his slightly shaking legs and curled toes. and while all of the was hot to you, what was most appealing about this scene was what was in his hands. in his left held his phone, an old video of him pounding into you missionary, focusing on your boobs bouncing up and down as he thrusted into you. in his right h however, was a pair of your red laced panties, his hand moving them up and down his cock.
you let out a quiet whimper at the scene, watching as his hand picked up speed as your voice in the phone cried out "im cumming". it was a bit embarrassing to hear yourself play back, but you didnt care about that. you were too focused on Konig. "m-me too like.. cum with me" he groaned out in response to you in the video, his hips bucking up. as soon as you came in the video, he came too. his hand dropped his phone, gripping onto the sheets instead as his cum covered your panties, some of it seeping through the thin cloth and onto his chest or thighs.
his breath was shaky, eyes slowly opening from the high. he hadn’t realized you in the door yet, so this was your time to escape. but of course, with your luck and horrible timing, your alarm for your birth control went off. you both jumped, your body shifting backwards to leave the room but tripping over your self in the hurry, falling to the floor. “i-i’m so sorry i j-just heard something and wanted to see what it was i -“
Konig quickly stood from the bed, pulling his pajama pants up and walking over to you. “no i’m sorry i shouldn’t have- i should have heard the car.” he lifted you up, walking you to the bed. “is your foot okay? did you land on it weird?” he asked softly, kneeling down to take your shoes off and examine your ankle. “no.. i’m okay.” you replied.
it was silent for a moment, his hand wrapped around your ankle even though he was done checking on you. but after a bit it got uncomfortable and you decided to talk first.
“do i not satisfy you anymore?” you blurted out, swallowing the tears and lump in your throat. his head shot up, shaking it quickly. “no no i just.. i don’t know. everytime i imagine me making a move i get scared you’ll push me away or remember what happened last time and.. i don’t know.” he said, looking down.
again silence filled the room. “i wouldn’t push you away, Konig. it was an accident. and we talked it out the same night. but don’t you see the effect it’s had on us? we barely even kiss now.” you said, looking at his lowered head. “i know.. im sorry libe. i just don’t want to hurt you again.”
he finally looked up at you, head resting on your thigh. his fingers danced up your opposite inner thigh, maintaining eye contact. a blush spread across your face, looking away from him. “what?” he asked softly, stopping right before your clothes pussy. you looked back at him, swallowing. “j-just been a while since you touched me like that. a bit nervous.” you chuckled.
he hummed softly before shifting, his head raising from your thigh. “lay back for me.” he said, raising the dress up your body to your hips. before you could respond, you were gently pushed down, Konigs other hand on your hip. “this is me apologizing.” he said before disappearing between your thighs.
his fingers curled around your panties, pulling them down to your ankles. grabbing either one, he rested them on his shoulder before leaning down, connecting his lips to your pussy. gasping, you closed your eyes.
his tongue ran up and down your slit slowly, circling gently at the clit every time. he moaned into your pussy, hands finding your hips and gripping them firmly. he pulled your clit between his lips, sucking gently as he mixed his saliva and your wetness together. “f-fuck Koni~” you whined, fingers finding his hair.
he groaned at that, using it as motivation to keep fucking your pussy onto his face. “missed this pussy so much mien libe.. tastes so fucking good.” he groaned, moving your hips against his face. his tongue moved around to spell his own name over and over, claiming your pussy as his. but that was a given.
while his tongue abused your swollen clit, his hand snuck under your thigh, allowing two of his long, slim fingers to slide into your cunt. gasping, your back arched slightly off the bed. “y-yes Koni just like that.” you cried out, pulling him deeper into your pussy.
his fingers moved in a “come here” motion in your warm pussy, his tongue still spelling his own name on your clit. your legs slightly raised from off his shoulders, toes curled as he fucked his fingers in you faster.
Konig was so painfully hard at this point, his tip leaking pre cum all over. he was breathing heavy in your pussy, motivated to keep going more and more. “keep going baby.. i’m so close.” you cried, opening your eyes finally to look down at him. he heard you, just was too lost in your pussy to even respond.
your slick covered his fingers, making a light sloppy sound as he pushed them in and out. “hear that libe? pussy is so wet for me. my poor baby needed this so bad didn’t she?” he cooed, opening his eyes to look up at your face, your mouth slightly opened and eyes rolled back. you couldn’t even respond to him, you were too focused on the orgasm coming quick and fast.
your stomach twisted and your pussy clenched around his fingers and he knew you were close. your legs shook a bit more, hands moving to the sheets. “coming Koni i-i’m coming.” you cried, feeling your orgasm shake your whole body.
now since you and Konig hadn’t had much of a sexual life, this orgasm shook your whole body anew. your eyes rolled back, his name rolling off your tongue loudly as your orgasm sprayed on his face. he chuckled, dragging his tongue flat against your pussy. “yea libe that’s it. keep coming for me such a good fucking girl.” he groaned, slowing his fingers down inside your pussy.
your body rested flat on the mattress, legs still shaking gently as you came down from your orgasm. Konig stayed between your legs, licking up the last bit of cum around your pussy. “you taste so good maus.. wanna sample?” he smirked, raising his body to press his lips against yours.
as you both made out, his hands gripped the back of your thighs, pushing them up. his hips humped against yours, feeling his cock press against your pussy. the kiss was deep, passionate. his hand snuck around the side of your neck, gripping it firmly as his tongue danced with yours.
“please Koni.. need you.” you whimpered, thrusting your hips up to meet his. he smirked, pulling away from your lips as a line of saliva connected you both. “i know libe.. need you too.”
he stood, pulling his sweats down to reveal his fully hard cock, tip bright red as pre cum leaked from the tip. his hand gripped it, pumping it while he looked at your shiny pussy. “think it’s ready for me libe? think this tight cunt can take it?” he asked, rubbing his leaking tip against your already wet pussy. you whined, moving up to try and get him to slide even the tip in.
he looked down at you, slapping his cock against your pussy. “want it that bad libe? take it. go on.” he said, repositioning the way he was standing, resting his hands on your knees as your legs were already on either side of his waist.
your hand reached down, pulling him gently into your pussy. he huffed out, gripping your knees as a small gasp left your lips. “oh fuck.” he groaned, closing his eyes as he bottomed out in you. your hips connected, his tip hitting your womb entrance. “come on then.. fuck me.” you said confidently, looking up at him.
he chuckled, looking down to you as his hands slid down your legs to your hips. he slid all the way out your pussy before pushing back in, both of you letting out a whimper. “are you okay?” he asked, sliding back out. you gave him a quick nod, looking up at him. “don’t be a pussy.. come on. fuck me.” you demanded.
he grinned , pushing back in before finding a steady deep pace. your hands found his forearms, gripping them tightly as he plundered into your pussy, sliding in and out with ease. his head threw back, mouth falling open. “missed this pussy so much libe.. takes my cock so well doesn’t it.” he moaned, nails digging into your skin.
“yea? y-you love this pussy h-huh?” yoh moaned, clenching around him. he whimpered a yes, looking down at you. “so much libe.” he whined, picking up the pace slightly. his tip brushed against your womb, making your eyes roll back. konig raised one of his legs, resting his knee on the mattress as he lifted your hips up slightly. of course, this new angle only made the both of you louder.
“fuck it’s so good Koni” you whined, your fingers moving down your body to your swollen clit again. he was so lost in your pussy once again, he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence.
in fact, his mind was so full of your pussy, he hadn’t even realized how close he actually was to filling you up. “s-so close.. gonna fill this tight pussy up.” he moaned, looking down at you. you both made eye contact, only adding to the sexiness of the moment.
from impulse, your hand reached up to his throat. and this surprisingly got a positive reaction from Konig. “fuck libe.. your so fucking hot. g-gonna make me cum.” he moaned, pounding into you faster. as his hips moved faster against yours, you both felt your orgasms taking over.
“come in me Koni.. please.” you whined, gripping his throat harder. as you did so, his legs shook slightly, feeling all his come shoot out into you. “fuck come on me libe.. c-cum on me please.” he whined, body collapsing over your. his hips kept the pace just enough for you to cum over him as well, body shaking beneath him as your grip on his throat loosened.
both of you laid their peacefully, panting as your orgasms came and went. your eyes shut closed and the last thing you were able to hear from Konig was
“i love you more than i can express.”
aghhhh i hope you all liked this one xoxoxoxoxo
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blu-oo · 1 year
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Buggy was Roger’s good luck charm
So I’ve had a headcanon for a while now concerning Buggy and his place on Roger’s crew. It’s no secret that both fans and characters within the One Piece world will look at Buggy and go “How/Why the fuck were you on Roger’s crew?” Hard to say definitively whether or not Buggy actually has good luck considering the absolute hell he has to go through in order to face plant into his power/status, but you still can’t argue that he gains things he is 100% undeserving of lol. Oda’s trolling aside, let’s say that his failing upwards IS purely a result of him having his luck stats set to fucking max with a few buffs tacked on. We can even make this more fun and say the reason Buggy’s luck is so paradoxical is BECAUSE his luck goes to others instead of being reserved for himself (either that or the only reason “failure” is tacked onto this is because Buggy is a jackass and karma doesn’t sleep on her prettiest degenerates). I can see this going down a few different ways:
Maybe they were on an island along the grand line and came across a vendor selling good luck tokens. An ornate looking box catches Roger’s eye, and the vendor starts gushing about how it’s their most “luckiest item” and that it’s very VERY much worth the hefty price tag. It’s also most definitely “a worthwhile investment, trust me! It’ll all pay off in the end!” Whatever that means. Roger’s gut feeling doesn’t need to be told twice, so he buys it. This could be a moment similar to Shanks where they take the box back to the ship only for “SURPRISE! CHEST BABY!” :D to happen again. Roger is no longer allowed to go shopping/haul treasure back to the ship without Rayleigh’s stink eye supervision.
Maybe there’s something similar to the Sabaody slave market where he’s being explicitly advertised as a good luck charm. The person selling him shows off his luck by playing simple tricks (like using cards and gambling with onlookers. Look, if you’re gonna try to sell someone's luck, ya might as well make an extra buck while doing so. And hey, this just proves his good luck charm is working). While the seller is distracted, Roger easily sidels up and eyes Buggy’s mean mug. He asks if Buggy is actually lucky and gets a rudely gestured affirmative. “Great!” He says before yanking the kid up and running off laughing. Rayleigh: what the fuck is that. Roger, tankard in one hand, clown child in the other: a beer.
Maybe Roger just happens upon Buggy and and witnesses his luck in action. Sees how instant karma comes to collect after some pompous jerk spits and belittles little Buggy and immediately he’s shamed and humiliated in front of a bunch of people (in addition to Buggy pit pocketing him in retaliation). He witnesses a merchant make snide and haughty remarks and refuses to sell to Buggy because he’s a visible street rat and then immediately afterwards a flock of rabid seagulls dive bomb his stall and peck at his toupee (a piece of bread is flung and lands right before Buggy’s nose). A group of older teens beating the snot out of buggy and stealing whatever he gained that day only to then immediately run into Roger? Well. Etc. etc. etc. Roger sees all this and more and at this point he decides to take Buggy along just because of how hilarious this all is (Buggy’s eventual love for Roger and therefore his luck beginning to include Roger was just an added bonus).
And since this is such a loose concept (and ignoring that Roger was a D so the following woulda happened anyways lol) we can even say that his luck to Roger is the reason for all the success at the end of his career lol. Edd war? Buggy. Living past his initial expiration date? Buggy. Making it to laugh tale? Buggy, except wait- things didn’t go 100% to plan with that one, huh 🤔🤔🤔🤔 and guess who wasn’t there 🤨🤨🤨🤨 im playing or am i
GASP. OR MAYBE HE HAS ABSOLUTE SHIT LUCK AND HE SAPS THAT SHIT OUTTA EVERYONE AROUND HIM EXPLAINING WHY THEY ALWAYS SOMEHOW LOSE OUT IN SOME WAY INSTEAD OF HIM—
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sexboobomb · 1 year
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if you're a cool trans person who lives near me and you reach out to me about it, chances are pretty damn high that im down for a meetup because i love meeting my people :3
UPDATE: added a “mutuals fucked” counter to my bio hehe
UPDATE: "Men DNI" or anything similar will get you blocked if your vibes seem indicative of transmisogyny or misandry to me.
UPDATE: I will be adding many flavors of content to my reblogs instead of just liking them, some of it is bc I want to support the artists who make stuff I like, and some of it is bc I have decided that it's in no way shameful to (gasp) be attracted to stuff. Most active hornyposting and explicitly sexual content will stay on my sideblog, but if you continue following me then from this point on be aware that I will occasionally post things that may be suggestive, lewd, or downright explicit. I have also added the URL to my sideblog down below, for those interested.
Hi there >:3
You can call me VV. I’m 22, autistic, adhd, and transfem! I’m a polyamorous lesbian system (so far exclusively t4t, but I’m open :3). I live in Seattle, and as long as you aren’t a creep or weirdo I’m open to making friends! I am currently in wonderful relationships with @cynthjam, @thevicioushotdog, @anarcho--neptunism, @lucyvaleheart, @urjunebug, and another who doesn’t have tumblr :3
Trying to try new things and to be a bit more shameless, because I figure I should try to like myself as much as other people seem to. I’m still learning some of my limits, and breaking a few, so feel free to ask me all manner of things but don’t always expect an answer. I occasionally hornypost, but most of the more explicit stuff stays on my sideblog, girlcockgarage. Horny asks should also be directed to my sideblog if you want a serious answer. I may put the URL here eventually.
I may include more about my interests here in the future, but for right now I’ll stick to introductions. Check back later and I’ll probably have this updated!
Reblogging my stuff is not only appreciated, but actively encouraged! I enjoy very few things more than I enjoy sharing my interests with others, and reblogging helps me reach as many people as possible with that!
This one is a little bit unusual I'm sure, but for the time being I will not be interacting with any Picrew stuff such as Picrew rebog chains. I have nothing against Picrew, it just sets my dysphoria off more severely than damn near anything else. Wish it didn't but it does, so for now I have to avoid it.
I will block minors, creeps, bigots, or anyone who gives me those vibes even if not explicitly clear. Ageless blogs will be blocked, because I’m not taking any chances here.
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manicpixiefelix · 3 months
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 24.
Summary: The night of the Henrys dinner has you experiencing the extremes of friendship, as the distance between you and Farleigh only seems to grow further apart, while you, Venetia, and Felix proceed to get arguably too close.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: SMUT; Felix/Reader/Venetia where the reader is the literal line between this being incest and this being just an incest-adjacent-but-definitely-still-taboo-grey-area. Drunk sex, oral (f receiving), reader's AGAB is never made specific.
A/N: 9442 words. HOLY SHIT. hello again friends, there has been so many different versions of the smut scene in this chapter, but im ultimately very happy and satisfied with what ended up in the final cut (I wrote this A/N and then rewrote the scene AGAIN (5th time I think I'm now at) and now I'm happy with the set up for it too 😌). that being said, i also rewrote the scene with Farleigh because I rewatched the Henrys dinner again and the original scene, while it would make sense emotionally in one sense, the scene I ended up with now I think works better, it still works emotionally but also it means he aligns both with the film and with the extra context the fic provides, yanno? if this chapter had you thinking or feeling anythings, you know i always love to know and hear them <3
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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The minute you step into the dining room by Oliver's side, Farleigh shoots you a withering look. Unfortunately he's already seated, a Henry, and a Henry's Wife on either side of him, and Oliver's in your ear quietly asking where he's meant to be sitting himself. All you can do is direct him to his seat, anxiety once again beginning to bubble in your gut. When you mouth an apology to Farleigh, he rolls his eyes, and turns to the Henry on his left with a fake smile. Fuck. It had been a long time since Farleigh had been genuinely upset with you, and even longer since you'd actually deserved it the way you know you do now. All you can hope is that you get the opportunity tonight, or at the very least tomorrow morning, to talk things out with him.
Before you can get too caught up in your thoughts, however, Venetia is slipping past you with a tight smile, pinching your ass as she goes. You hear Felix, half a step behind her and having seen the moment, sigh her name with exasperation, but she just turns throws him a playfully amused smirk before she's making her way to her seat by Oliver. It is a surprise to think they'd come down together, but Felix explains quietly to you that he'd felt the need to speak to her about Oliver, about what happened. The two of you take your seats together, Felix sounding exasperated as he explains that Venetia had said nothing had happened between her and Oliver; you know Venetia's watching the two of you, even as you make a point of fixing your gaze on the array of cutlery before you.
"Ollie was right," Felix muttered, fussing with the stem of his wine glass, clearly wishing it wasn't empty, "she was so pissed she doesn't even remember coming on to him- why 's she got to be like this, honestly?" At least he sounds more disappointed than angry. When you look up, chancing a glance over at the woman herself, you see her staring right back at you. Felix is still mulling over his empty glass, but the look in Venetia's eyes as she raises a single, perfect eyebrow at you says that she knows exactly what you're being told right now.
And that she knows you know she lied to Felix.
That woman has absolutely no remorse; the way these lies are really beginning to build is making you feel even more queasy than you already were. Instead of giving her the satisfaction of any kind of reaction, you simply avert your gaze, tipping your head to the side to instead look at Felix.
"I think it's because she likes seeing you pout," you teased softly, tone light in an attempt to bring up his mood. Felix's expression immediately shifts to something both embarrassed and faintly pleased, already anticipating your praise, "it's a cute look on you," you continued, wetting your lips, "at least I think so." There's a faint blush on his cheeks now, expression almost bashful. For a moment his gaze flicks to his sister, who's thankfully looked away as the staff have begun to serve drinks, but just as quickly he's looking back at you.
"You're shameless," he mutters, trying and failing to fight off a grin.
"And what, dear Felix, would I have to be ashamed of?" Lips quirking into a smug, little smile, you take quiet joy in the snort of laughter that escapes him. You're glad to see his mood has turned around considerably before you let your attention drift away, striking up a conversation with Henry of Suffolk on your other side.
As always, your planning pays off over the course of the dinner, engaging in lively conversation with the rest of the guests, masking your nerves with a bright smile and thoughtful bouts of small talk with everyone around you. With each name and detail you remember, you see those around you growing more comfortable and amiable with you just as they grew more intoxicated. Nobody goes overboard, of course, well, at least not in a way that would be completely unacceptable, but spirits are high and the guests are more than eager when Sir James excitedly informs them all of the wide selection of songs their karaoke machine has since Venetia had asked him to update it.
"Does this mean we get to hear you attempt Crocodile Rock again, Jimmy?" Lord Henry, Sir James' godson and always a little too enthusiastic for moments such as these, is the only person in the world who you think would ever call Sir James 'Jimmy'. He's done it once or twice before that you remember, but it still catches you off guard, and the laughter that escapes you is almost undignified, not that anybody notices. Sir James himself laughs along, as the rest of the table seems thoroughly amused by the idea, though he claims he may need to open another bottle of wine before he considers stepping up to the microphone himself.
Once dinner has concluded, several of the guests, yourself included, opt to head outside briefly to smoke before retiring to the larger drawing room the Cattons used to entertain groups like this. Felix declines your invitation, choosing instead to check in with Oliver as the evening was progressing. Considering Oliver had only just stopped looking like a deer in the headlights whenever someone tried to make conversation with him, you were sure he would appreciate a more familiar moment of kindness.
You, however, were afforded no such kindness. Stepping outside, your attention is immediately caught on Farleigh, perched on one of the railings by the stairs, pointedly having removed himself from the others who had also chosen to take in the evening air. Elegant and beautiful and so clearly full of disdain, his eyes narrow as you make eye contact with him. Pulling your own ornate cigarette case from your pocket, you join him, asking to borrow a light. Silently, he offers his lighter, and you thank him quietly, feeling his ice cold gaze boring into you.
"To what do I owe the pleasure," he sneered, voice low enough that only you could catch his words, "of you deciding to finally grace me with your presence." It stung.
"Farleigh," you sighed, gaze imploring as you finally met his, taking a draught from your cigarette. But he in unwavering in his irritation. Sighing, you let your focus drop as you tried to recall the lines you'd prepared earlier, "I am not merry, but I do beguile the thing I am, by seeming otherwise."
Farleigh snorts derisively, letting your words hang in the air as he finally looked away, raising his own cigarette to his lips. The way he smiles hold absolutely no warmth.
"You know he's lying to you," there's a casual cruelty to Farleigh's voice that you'd heard so often in your life, but so rarely directed at you, "I don't know what he told you and Felix, but he's lying, I know what I saw -"
"I know he's lying," you admit faintly, "I believe you, Farleigh, I know you wouldn't fuck with me and Fi over something like this," you kicked the stone steps idly with the toe of your fancy shoes, trying to keep your own voice just as light, "and Ollie knows it too."
"Know what?"
"That I know he's lying," finally you look up again, meeting his gaze but having no idea what to read in his expression, "that I believe you despite what he told us."
"Does Felix know?"
Farleigh knows he doesn't by the way you immediately go quiet. There's genuine disgust in his voice when he calls you spineless, when he tells you that your so blinded by love that you can't see that this can only end badly. Part of you believes he's right, but you still try to have hope despite that.
"You don't get it," you finally huff, scowling in an attempt to hide how hurt you were by his words, "and it's not that you can't, it's that you don't want to," you jab him in the chest for emphasis, cigarette between your fingers, "because it's so much easier for you to dismiss Ollie out of hand since you've never liked him, or even bothered to get to know him. Isn't it fucking easier for you, Farleigh, to hope we turn against him so you don't have to keep putting up with him?" Lip curling into a sneer, the vitriolic way you speak surprises even yourself.
"I'm not the bad guy for giving a shit about you," his voice is rising despite how he was fighting to remain dismissive and nonchalant, "and not trusting a fucking stranger -"
"This isn't you giving a shit about me," you couldn't help but scoff, wine drunk and more than able to match his bitchy energy with your own, "you give a shit about you, Farleigh; you and your fucking pride," you spit, finding yourself altogether tired of his ongoing attitude towards Oliver and how he was trying to now mask it as altruism, "what happens if it all works out, what then, Farleigh?"
"It's not going to~" Farleigh sings meanly under his breath with that same humourless smile as before. Despite being toe to toe with you, he'd been avoiding eye contact as best he could, until now. There's something in his eyes behind the icy anger that almost looks hurt. Farleigh's voice is a whisper as he leans in, nose to nose with you, "and when it goes badly, when you let him break your heart, and my cousin's heart, when you finally realise that he's fucking using you because nothing will ever be enough for him," Farleigh's lip curls derisively as you feels hot, angry tears stinging your eyes, threatening to spill, "don't you dare come crying to me that you 'loved not wisely but too well', because I know," for just a moment you feel pinned by the intensity of his gaze in this moment as he turned Othello's words on you yet again, "and I'm fucking warning you now."
He steps out of your space, sighing loudly, as if completely oblivious to the tears on your cheeks and how he's torn your heart to shreds. But then, as always, he knows you well enough to intuit exactly how to twist the knife.
"Don't look at me like that," he rolls his eyes, "you know I'm right," then, eyebrows raised, he even has the gall to ask if you're even going to finish your cigarette, which had gone out. Shaking your head weakly, your running entirely on autopilot as you pass it over to him.
As you stand there, the air feeling too warm on your skin, your collar too tight, the taste of smoke and ash suddenly sickening on your tongue, despair wells up within you, choking you too from the inside out. Farleigh's words play on repeat inside your head, and you know you should leave, shouldn't engage further, you weren't in your right mind to begin with, drunk and a mess of emotions. But one thought sticks out, loud above all the others.
"Everyone uses me, Farleigh," you choke out, "you- you really think that bothers me?" And you look to see him shocked in the face of your teary anger.
"What?"
"If Oliver were to ask for the world, I'd give it to him," you tell Farleigh with a defiant scowl, not bothering to lower your voice as you wipes your tears roughly, "I can afford it after all. When it comes to the people I love, I can afford anything, or did you you and your pride choose to forget?" Everyone around you has gone quiet, all eyes upon the two of you, but none of them matter to either you or Farleigh in this moment. Standing as tall as you're able, you square your shoulders. Without giving him a chance to reply, you take your anger and lingering sense of betrayal as you turned on your heel and stormed back inside.
Tomorrow you were sure you'd regret making a scene, regret your harsh words and arrogance, but you had no idea how else to get through to him at the time. If Farleigh was jealous because of how loving and accommodating you were to Oliver, he'd need to get over himself. There was nothing you wouldn't do, no price you wouldn't pay, for the people who made you and Felix happy, you thought he knew this. What in the hell could ever reassure or even convince him if, after so much of your lives together, all the years and moments and love shared already, didn't make it abundantly clear that that meant him too?
Pulling off your suit jacket the minute you step through the doors, you throw it into the hands of a confused member of the staff, just telling them to put it somewhere for Duncan to take care of. However, before you can even find Felix amid everyone gathered in the drawing room, you find your focus, and your arm, snatched by a mischievous looking Venetia. Considering she and Felix appear getting along once again, you decide you have all the time in the world to humour the girl who'd never once been afraid to ask you for something she wants. Perhaps she'll be able to take your mind off of Farleigh and all he'd said. At the very least she hands you another glass of champagne.
"You've been so cold to me these past few days," Venetia pouted where she was clinging to your arm. It seems in the dim light and in her current state she is completely oblivious to the fact that you'd just been crying, thank god, "if you don't sing something with me, I'll start thinking you don't even like me." She's wearing that beautiful, dangerous grin of hers that she always wears when she knows she's on the edge of pushing your buttons about something. But in this moment Venetia is mean and pretty, and you're feeling tipsy and indulgent, so you let yourself be coerced by the sight of her smile.
"Careful, pretty girl," you teased with a smirk, letting her drag you over to Duncan who had been granted the role of overseeing song selections, "I might start believing you want me around."
Surprisingly, Venetia looks up from the song book in her hands, as if surprised by your accusation.
"As if anyone else would be half as good to me; of course I want you around, pet," and then immediately turns back to poring over song choices. It hits you in a way you hadn't anticipated, and you know part of that was due to your altercation with Farleigh. Still, it was the kind of fond sentiment Venetia was so often shying away from admitting that sometimes you genuinely forgot how much she actually appreciated your place in her life. So often it seemed that she took you for granted, and you played along because it never outweighed how much joy and pleasure you took in making her happy, even if it was often at your expense. But Venetia was just as much a masochist, and quietly loved that you so often gave as good as you got.
Duncan's expression doesn't change from its carefully controlled neutral veneer while he watches you and Venetia flipping through the song book. For a moment you recall how often you'd begged as a teenager for him to let you join the service staff at Saltburn for events like this simply so you wouldn't have to be looked at or talked to. He'd of course never let you, nor had Elspeth when you'd gone to her with the proposal. Still, he'd taken you aside during your third Summer and asked what it was about the events that made them so difficult for you. He'd been putting together detailed dossiers on the events at the estate for you ever since.
You still think you'd make a good team member for the staff, but to you, Duncan was utterly irreplaceable at Saltburn.
"Oh, this one, don't you think, pet?" Venetia asks, tugging you once more to bring your attention to where she was pointing out a Fall Out Boy song. The one where the groom finds out his bride is a whore; the nerve on her after what she did two nights ago. Keeping your composure, however, you raise an eyebrow at her.
"Thought you weren't a fan of that tragic, emo stuff," you smirked, to which Venetia rolled her eyes, scoffing for you to pick one then, "what about ABBA?" You suggested knowingly, "everyone loves ABBA" Despite her attempt at remaining put out by you, her mood picks up when you at least tell her she can pick the song, and she's grinning with an almost childlike glee at the idea. Still, you know you don't have to worry too much, there's only one ABBA song you know she'll pick.
As Venetia's adding her song selection to the list, your focus finally drifts back around the room. You finish your glass and note that Farleigh's finally slunk on from outside, taking up brooding in an arm chair in a particularly dark corner of the room and refusing to look anywhere but his drink. Finally, however, you spot Felix in conversation with Oliver, his arm around the shorter man's shoulders where they've staked their claim on one end of the wide, ornate sofa. For just a moment his gaze finds you, and he gives you and his sister the briefest exasperated smile, like he knows exactly what you've been talked into.
There's still a few others who have yet to have their turn, so the two of you decide to get yourselves another drink -
"Grab one for me too, will you?" Felix calls after you from where he'd settled himself on the sofa.
"Of course, my darling, useless brother," Venetia practically sings back, swanning past him with an arm once more firmly tucked in yours.
"Thank you, Vee, I love you too," you think you can hear Felix rolling his eyes fondly. Still, Venetia's giggling as the two of you make your way to the drink caddy in the corner of the room.
Venetia snickers quietly, barking at you so low only you could hear as you poured Felix a glass of champagne after your own, and a third for Oliver too. But you don't have it in your heart to be mad, and grin as you knock your shoulder with her's.
"Watch yourself, Ven," you warned her playfully. Her laughter lights up the little corner of the room you both occupied. Your lingering reasons to stay mad at her regarding her tryst with Oliver seem to be disappearing faster as the night went on. It almost definitely has something to do with the drinks, but you can't seem to bring yourself to mind.
"Why would I need to watch myself when I've got you to do it for me again," and she gives a little twirl as if to emphasise, which becomes twofold when you catch her by the elbow to steady her as she almost over balances, "see?" Her voice is low and flirty, stepping into your space as she picks up her champagne glass, "so don't get all bitchy again," but her tone is sweet when she teases you, "I need my knight in shining armour."
"It's called consequences," you chuckled, though you still let her wind her arms around your neck in a gesture that would be far too intimate for even this secluded corner of this setting if most everyone else weren't also inebriated, "if you insist on jeopardising mine and Fi's happiness you'll have to learn to take care of yourself."
"But you like being good to me," her smile is sharp and she leans in, her forehead against yours. This rare, unashamedly needy side of Venetia was really quite endearing. Groaning, you allow yourself to give in for just a moment, kissing her quickly.
"God fucking help me, I do," you agreed with a vaguely frustrated huff. Venetia actually giggles, tells you this is why she loves you, and send more than happy with this result to let you both get back to the task you'd been at the drinks caddy for originally. It seemed no one had taken any real note of the intimate moment in the corner of the room anyhow, it kind of just seemed that that was how this night was progressing all around.
When you get back to Felix and Oliver, both with a drink in each hand, she drapes herself rather inelegantly on the arm of the sofa by her brother after she hands him his drink. Oliver seems surprised when you hand him one too, looking at you, leaning against the back of the sofa, with this wide-eyed look of gratefulness. The four of you watch with quiet amusement as one of the younger wives of the Henrys makes a decent attempt at Total Eclipse of the Heart.
"What'd you end up deciding on?" Felix murmurs loud enough for only your little group to hear, and Venetia giggles when all she says is the name of the band. Felix's smile grows wider, turning fond as he looks from her, to back at you. When he makes a noise of understanding, even you can't help but grin, despite how Oliver's voicing his confusion. All Felix can respond with is, "it's a very old, very stupid joke," which Venetia immediately scoffs at, reminding him that it's 'our song' in reference to the three of you.
As they bicker about whether or not it's stupid - you're of the opinion that it is, but that's part of the reason why you love it - you lean down to murmur to Oliver with a smirk;
"Does Your Mother Know?"
As the realisation hits him, a startled laugh escapes him, his hand coming up to cover his sudden smile. Felix turns to him, leaning his head against yours, asking Oliver now to weigh in on whether it was stupid.
"Dunno; does she know?" He grins in return, eyes shining in the low, golden light of the room. You, Felix, and Venetia all burst out laughing at that, earning a scathing look from the man who'd just stepped up to take the microphone, and the four of you loudly try to both apologise and shush each other while unable to fight off your collective giggles.
By the time you and Venetia step up to the microphone, you have no idea where your jacket is, the top few buttons of your fancy jumpsuit are undone, and you can't stop smiling. It's as if your earlier altercation with Farleigh is almost entirely forgotten. For a moment, everything's easy again, everything's okay and bright and Venetia is by your side as the two of you pass the mic back and forth between you both. It's the most lively song of the night so far, and you can see Elspeth laughing into her wine glass as she watches you both with fondness.
A song that had once been put on by Venetia herself in an act of malice, blasting it from her little, portable CD player when she'd caught you and Felix making out by the lake as teenagers, had since developed into the soundtrack of countless bright memories. The three of you had cheered when it had come on in a club in LA none of you were old enough to be in, it was always on road trip mixtapes, and had been played throughout various hotels all across the world as you'd been getting ready together to go out on the town.
It was your song after all.
All you could think in this moment is how much you hated when Felix and Venetia were on bad terms.
When the song ends, there's a smattering of applause. You pass the microphone over to the next singer as Venetia takes your hand and pulls you back over to Felix, who's regarding you both with amused exasperation. Oliver's gone to get himself another drink, Felix tells you as Venetia drapes herself on his lap, and you take the now vacant seat beside him.
"God I haven't heard that song in ages," Felix snorts, arm around Venetia to keep her steady as she gets herself more comfortable.
"We should go clubbing again," you insist, head resting on Felix's shoulder, tucked up against his other side, then, "Vee, you should come visit us at Oxford some weekend!" However both Cattons beside you scoff dismissively at the thought.
"God, I wouldn't be caught dead at some dreadful, uni, bar night."
"That's mean, Ven, they're fun!" Felix's dismissal immediately turns to playful indignance, "I'm more worried about your bursting into flames the minute you try to step foot on campus."
"Why would I burst into flames?!" Venetia's eyes went wide, but Felix looks equally as bright and shocked.
"Because that's what you said would happen when mum asked you if you'd ever consider enrolling after I got accepted!"
Venetia's mouth snaps closed, embarrassed smile and faint flush giving her away as her own words seem to be coming back to her.
"Oh yeah," she mumbled, "right," then, after a beat, she looks to you, "do you have any smokes on you, pet?"
"For you, Ven, always," you teased, feeling all kinds of contented and warm in this moment, by their side. Pulling your pocket book out of your pocket, you offer one to Venetia before apologising for not having a lighter. Felix tells her he's got it before she can even stand, and grunts as he tries to keep her balanced on his lap while reaching into his own pants pocket to pull out a little, ornate lighter. He flicks it open, holding the flame aloft for Venetia, who rolls her eyes as she lights her cigarette off of it.
"I still can't believe you have a formal lighter," she snickers.
"I only ever use it here," Felix grins to himself, gaze fixed on the silver lighter in his grip as he flips it open and closed, "honestly I don't even think I'll bring my suit back to Oxford this semester, I only wore it once, and Y/N knows where we can hire them."
"Of course they do," Venetia gives you a knowing smile, and you simply shrug, your mood unable to be ruined by anything, even canine allegations, in this moment.
"At least I'm consistent," you smirked, and Venetia reached over, her tone both saccharine and teasing as she scratches beneath your chin and calls you 'good doggie'. Felix groans at that, as he always did, pressing his forehead against her shoulder.
"Why've you've always got to ruin things, Vee?" He asked, exasperated, but Venetia simply leaned further into him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders with a blithe smile.
"I haven't ruined anything, Felix; do you think I've ruined anything, pet?" Venetia's sharp gaze turns on you, and Felix turns his face to look at you too. All you do is shrug; right now you were taking her degrading nickname as a compliment.
"I can't believe you put up with her," Felix snorts.
"Because you haven't tasted the dog treats she buys me," you counter without even really thinking, though the minute Venetia starts absolutely cackling and Felix looks at you in absolute, horrified disbelief, you clarify, "I'm kidding, oh my god, Fi, I'm totally kidding!" Which thankfully is enough to alleviate his concerns, and he's then laughing just as hard as you and Venetia.
The others are looking at you again, the three of you lost in your own little world, but you can't even begin to care. Everything in this moment is warm and familiar and right. Your anxiety over events stands no chance when you're drunk and laughing with the Catton siblings by your side.
These were moments you loved. These were moments where you felt loved, where this house felt like your home. These were your people, Felix and Venetia, Farleigh too more often than not, and you knew, if given time, you could make Oliver feel just as loved, just as home as Saltburn had long since made you feel. But Farleigh and Oliver were far from your mind tonight; Oliver hadn't returned, and Farleigh was keeping his distance from you, and Venetia had kicked her legs out over you as your focus drifted back to the guests providing entertainment, trying to be a little less shameless, as Felix had so rightly called you earlier, about your love for them both. That being said, at least you weren't the only one... Why Henry had thought taking off his jumper like his rendition of Apple Bottom Jeans was a strip tease was beyond you, but at least it was amusing.
"Fuck it, I'm getting another drink," Felix announced, gently tapping on Venetia's thigh to indicate for her to finally get up and move. When she mentions that she could use one too, Felix is already offering you a hand, knowing you'd be coming along too.
The three of you make your back back over to the drink cart in the corner, all tipsy enough to enjoy bopping along to Henry's questionable singing to the catchy tune, each collecting another flute of champagne. Gaze scanning the gathering, your eyes zero in on the what you recognise to be Farleigh and Oliver together on one of the sofas facing a wall adorned by several royal portraits. Something about the sight, after your earlier conversation with Farleigh, makes you uneasy, and you find yourself finishing your drink quickly, turning back to the siblings in an attempt to distract yourself. Venetia's more than willing to pull you in to dance with her for the moment.
But then you hear it, and your blood turns cold. There's something about hearing Farleigh's voice rise brightly above Henry's singing, bringing the embarrassing display to a close, that makes a strange, guilty kind of anger flare to life in your chest.
Turning back, you watch with a dawning almost horror as he volunteers a clearly reluctant Oliver for the next song, one he is choosing for him. Unfortunately you know Farleigh too well to assume it's anything other than some sort of trap for your poor friend.
And much to your chagrin, you're right.
Oliver stumbles awkwardly through the lyrics he clearly doesn't know in front of a less than lukewarm audience. He doesn't seem to realise exactly what he's singing, that it's all a cruel joke, until -
"I love you-" Oliver's voice falters, falls as the next words flash up on screen, "you pay my rent."
But Farleigh's not looking at him, even as Oliver calls him over, tries to salvage the situation, insisting with as much ire as he can despite clearly being embarrassed, that it's Farleigh song too. Farleigh's looking at you, something vindictive in his gaze before he turns away, agreeing without hesitation, stepping into the spotlight without a shred of concern despite the song and it's less than kind implications.
That spiteful fucking asshole!
"No," leaves your lips as an involuntary, furious gasp. You don't even realise you make a start towards him until you feel Felix's hand holding your arm firmly, as if anticipating you better than you can.
"That's..." Felix doesn't have the exact words for it, part of him not wanting to believe his cousin was truely being malicious, but you knew better. Still, clearly he was as disappointed as you were angry.
"Come on, it's -" but Venetia stops laughing and just sighs when both you and Felix turn on her with less than approving looks. She rolls her eyes, arms crossed delicately over her chest as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.
"I'm so fucking done with this," you hissed furiously, stalking out of the room. As much as you love Oliver and want to reassure him, you're in absolutely no state to do so.
While you don't exactly expect the Catton siblings to give up the remainder of their night for you, there's still a swell of gratefulness when you hear Venetia's heels against Saltburn's floorboards as she trots after you.
"You know usually -" you begin to rant, absolutely seething with rage as you blew past several bemused members of staff ferrying food and snacks to the drawing room, "- and yeah, I'll own up to this - usually it's my fault that I don't have fun at events like this," you turned on your heel suddenly at the bottom of the red staircase, feeling particularly dramatic and petty in your drunken fury. Venetia catches herself before she can run into you, watching you, letting you rant with amusement in her eyes. Not that that deters you in the slightest, "he's so petty, so fucking petty and vindictive."
"You know how Farleigh gets," Venetia's voice is still warm, despite your fury.
"Yeah, he's entitled," you hissed venomously, "I love you all to death, but you really all can be so fucking entitled, yes, including you," you added without a moment of hesitation.
"What'd I do?" Venetia laughed brightly, but you narrowed your eyes at her. She knows what she did. In the next moment, as if suddenly remembering, she raises her hands in mock surrender. But there's a softness in her eyes as she gently lowers her hands to your shoulders, reassuring you that they all loved you too.
Behind her however, coming out of the drawing room, Felix is approaching with a less than enthused expression.
"Ollie won't talk to me," he's actually pouting, "says he's fine," clearly Felix doesn't believe him, "says he just wants to be left alone," clearly Felix doesn't like that either.
"Y/N's calling us entitled," Venetia supplies with a candid kind of amusement. While Felix's expression turns to confusion, you groan loudly at her antics and turn on your heel, throwing your hands up in the air with exasperation as you head back through the house towards your bedroom, fully retiring from everything that has happened tonight.
"What are we being entitled about?" Felix asks, trotting behind you with his sister in tow. You don't dignify it with an answer, but Venetia snorts.
"Them, I assume."
"Oh," Felix contemplates for a moment, before picking up his pace to match your stride, "I'm sorry, I didn't -"
"It's fine, Fi," you sighed, taking his hand as he walked in step beside you, "I'm mostly just mad at Farleigh -"
"How come you're all understanding with Feef, but I get my head bitten off?" Venetia stepped up to your other side, tone incredulous as she keeps up with you both, "you'd let him get away with murder!"
Felix sticks his tongue out at his sister with a petulant kind of glee.
"God, I'm so tired of taking sides," taking the steps up to the second floor, you huff a long, world-weary sigh, "I just want to forget this night ever happened, honestly."
"I can help with that," Felix's tone is laden with smug innuendo, and finally you feel yourself beginning to relax, giving his hand a squeeze. Beside you, Venetia is quiet, but you can tell she wants to say something. Apparently Felix can tell too, however, as less than a moment later he says, "come on, out with it Vee, what've you got a problem with now."
"Will I be called entitled again if I say I'd appreciate their company tonight instead?" Venetia bites back at her brother as the three of you come to the end of the blue room and step into the long gallery. Felix's grip on your hand grows just a little tighter; you know he's trying to come up with some kind of response that doesn't make him sound entitled to you too.
"Don't make me choose," you muttered finally when you get to your bedroom, forehead pressed against the door, "please, I just want to be good to you both, you know this," then after a soft sigh you hear yourself whisper, "I just want to be good."
After a beat, Venetia laughs airily.
"Careful about what you're implying, pet," but she actually sounds coy when she says it. It hits you a moment later what she means, and though you initially tried to deny it, Venetia can't help herself but continue, "I mean, I know our family's blessed with good genes, but -"
"Venetia, you're the one who asked if I think about Felix when I fuck you," you turned on her, feeling altogether flustered at the idea and desperate for her to stop talking. Venetia turns bright red, letting out a mortified shriek, but surprisingly Felix is grinning at you.
"Do you?"
"I..." but you can't look either of them in the eyes, "not usually -"
"Ha!" Felix immediately turns to shout in his sister's face, but despite this, Venetia lights up as if thoroughly vindicated.
"I knew it! I fucking knew it!" She crows with a delight neither you nor Felix had seemed to anticipate, "'He doesn't have a cunt, Ven'," she parroted your own words back at you from long ago in a mocking immitation, "god you were so fucking smarmy about it too, I knew you were lying!"
"I wasn't being smarmy, I was trying not to hurt your feelings!" You couldn't help but laugh, given the situation, however Venetia, head held high, barges right past you, opening the door.
"What hurts my feelings, pet," she tells you suddenly sounding incredibly matter-of-fact, making herself at home on the edge of the bed, looking at you both still in the doorway, "is that I'm pretty sure you're better when you go down on me while you're thinking about Felix," she gives her words a moment to settle in before emphasising - "like distinctly, probably measurably better."
When you turn to Felix, you're not quite sure exactly what you're anticipating, but it's definitely not for him to be looking as ridiculously smug as he does at that moment. You know he can tell how embarrassed you are by this all, but he clearly is taking it as a personal victory.
"For the record, I'm not shit at giving head when I'm not thinking about you."
That stupid, beautiful, smug bastard just grins wider at you.
"Obviously you're good," Venetia rolls her eyes, "we both know I've put too much time into this part of our friendship for you not to be, but," she pauses, wetting her lips as she waits for you to look back at her. When you turn back she's leaning back on her hands, wearing a surprisingly similar, pleased look as she very obviously leers at you. Of course you both already know the answer, but she asks anyways, just in the hopes of hearing you admit it; "I'm right, aren't I, Y/N?"
"Why does it even matter?" You tried weakly, unable to look at either of them as you made your way to the dresser to start removing your jewellery.
"It's a matter of principle," Felix, why, you think to yourself when you can hear his big, dumb grin in his voice. It's enough to remind you that you're all still rather drunk, but not enough for you to stop the conversation from heading in a very dangerous direction at full speed.
"No, Felix, shut up -" Venetia orders almost immediately at the sound of his delight regarding the implications she'd put forth about you, and he protests, but she ignores him, turning her focus back on you, "you're a slut for my brother, you've made that abundantly clear," she rolls her eyes dismissively, powering on despite how you were left reeling by how casually she'd said it, "who cares, I've made my peace with it, but -!" Eyebrows raised and eyes suddenly shining with a terrifying amount of glee, she grins at you, "if my theory is correct, then after tonight, Felix can hold it over my head until I die, and I get one of the best orgasms of my life."
Oh! Okay, this was a legitimate offer. Huh. Wait. Why did it already feel like you were the last one to realise she was being serious? Why did it already feel like you were the only one left to agree?
You weren't used to Felix and Venetia being on the same wavelength... Though honestly, if quietly, you really weren't complaining the more you think about it.
As much as you fucked around with them both, had spent a countless amount of time sharing casual nudity in the field together over the years with endless teasing and occasional curious questions here and there, and had spent more than a little time speculating about Venetia's desires on your own time, you hadn't... At least, not since you were all teens, and definitely never together like this.
Yeah, sure, there had been definitely quite a few times where you'd been with one of the siblings, or Farleigh, while one - or a few times both - were there, around. Sometimes it was accidental, sometimes it was something of a dare, or a twisted game, or a strange type of learning experience, but you were dumb, horny teenagers being dumb, horny teenagers.
But there's no youthful naivety in the way Venetia's looking at you now. Surprisingly, however, Felix speaks up in favour too.
"It does mean that you don't have to choose between us," he points out, voice gentle and warm as he approaches you. You've gone still by the dresser, conflicted desire pooling low in your gut as you spent more and more time considering it. Felix drapes himself over your shoulders, voice low and enticing in your ear, his gaze focused on yours in the mirror's reflection, "and I want the chance to make you feel good after the shitshow these few days have been," he murmurs, though he can't help but smirk as he adds, "we all know you get off on being good to us too."
"Are you sure? It's Venetia," you reminded him, giving him a last chance at an out even if you know he won't take it.
"Yeah, but I'm not fucking her," he points out flatly, "and it's not like it's much worse than what happened during that layover in Dubai a few years ago-"
"You two are absolute animals for that, god, I forgot about that," Venetia practically cackled as your eyes go wide as you too suddenly recall the moment Felix was talking about, "I still can't believe Y/N's into -"
"Shut up, Venetia!" You hissed through clenched teeth, mortified at the memory of what she'd witnessed when you and Felix had gotten back from the hotel bar and toppled into the bed across from hers in the little hotel room, "you promised you'd never bring that up, on pain of death." Venetia only laughs louder. Still, Felix had a point; somehow this was much less embarrassing. At least for you.
So it takes you only a few more moments of deliberation before you inevitably give in to your collective desire. Just for a second, however, before acting on it, you find yourself seeing right through Felix's intentions and seductive tone. He of course did want to be good to you, you knew that to be true, and you did get off on getting others off, but there was a key part that he was purposefully leaving out. He knows you see it; his expression is scrunching with amusement already as he rests his chin on your shoulder, anticipating your next words -
"You really wanna hold this over Ven's head, don't you?" At your words, your bright laughter, Felix immediately breaks, doesn't even try to deny it as he's laughing too.
"I really wanna hold this over her head forever and ever, yes."
"It's not like you'll ever tell anyone," Venetia points out archly from the bed. Upon consideration, you both realise she's absolutely right, and Felix's face falls for a moment, though you pat his cheek in consolidation.
"We'll know," you reassure him, and he's bright once more, ascertaining that as long as the three of you know it's worth it; you're the only three who would give a shit in the exact, weird way he needs you to anyways. Venetia blows a loud, petulant raspberry at you both.
Glancing over your shoulder, suddenly more than a little nervous despite your excitement building too, you see Venetia still thankfully grinning. Felix steps back from you, heading to sit down by her side. The two of them now regard you with eerily similar, evaluative looks.
"I feel like Farleigh once warned us something like this would happen," Felix says with a half smile, glancing at Venetia as he pulled off his bowtie.
"Which is why - again - we're never ever telling anyone about this," Venetia says firmly, which Felix snorts a quiet laugh at as he agrees, "especially not Farleigh," reaching up, she unclasp her own sparkling ensemble where it was tied at the back of her neck. As she does so, her gaze fixes back on you, on where you were now hovering with nervous anticipation. You could feel your heart thundering in your chest very suddenly - this is not where you had expected this night to go, not that you were complaining, it was just that you didn't quite know how to proceed. God you hoped at least one of them would set up and take the lead, because there was no way you could bring yourself to even consider taking charge in this moment.
Before Venetia can even get a word in, however, Felix speaks up, teasing you in a low voice.
"Thought you didn't want to choose?"
"I didn't- I don't," you assured quickly, feeling all tipsy and giddy and nervous and excited all at once, frozen to the spot when you can't be sure which one you should be acting on, "this is definitely the perfect solution to that," you giggled nervously, beginning to fidget, before suddenly looking at Venetia in alarm, head whipping around to look at Felix, "but I'm not getting off to the fact that you're siblings, for the record -" Felix makes a noise of vaguely horrified surprised, but Venetia just laughs.
"You can if you want," she teases coyly, "if it helps." Helps you get her off, you know she means.
"Fucking Christ, Vee," Felix mutters under his breath, but you can hear his amusement. This, thankfully, has alleviated your concerns, and you grin.
"So we're all- this is -? I just- I didn't expect- are you both -?"
"I'm rather excited," Venetia smirks casually, standing and turning away from you, sweeping her hair over her shoulders as an indication that she needs you to undo the zip down the back of her jumpsuit, "part of me does honestly wonder if all those whorish noises you both make are still real," she speaks as if you're not even here, even as your hands glide over her, helping her out of her clothes.
"Hey!" Felix protests as he's beckoning you over, "those weren't meant for you!" Venetia pouts for a moment when you leave her side, but gets over it quickly, draping herself, nude, back across the bed you and Felix share.
"Se ducing the street rat?" She asks candidly, to which both you and Felix both tell her to be nice, almost in synch. In response, Venetia fakes gagging and mutters that she hates you both. Then, after a moment of deliberation, she idly mentions with a vague air of disgust that she doesn't want to think about Oliver and Felix together.
"I don't want you thinking about Oliver at all, actually," Felix says cattily as he's undoing the buttons of your jumpsuit, to which she rolls her eyes and calls him possessive, "do you want to leave?" Felix asks her with a frank, unimpressed look, "you can go if you're going to be a pain; you don't have to be here, Vee."
Venetia groans as if putting up with Felix in this moment was quickly becoming a much bigger downside than she'd anticipated, but she does agree to stay and not to talk about Oliver. Felix's expression softens then when he casts an amused look to you where you've finished making quick work of undoing his dress shirt. Once he too has you unbuttoned, you shrug off the jumpsuit, letting it pool by your feel before you kick it away. His hands hold your bare thighs securely, all bickering forgotten in this moment as he gazed up at you with nothing but affection in the way he's regarding you. Leaning in, you kiss him, unable to fight back your own smile.
"But if it turns out you're bad at fucking and Y/N's been faking it with you this whole time, I will tell Farleigh," Venetia warns sharply, interrupting your moment as she seemed unable to help herself from needling the two of you even now. Which may have been her plan all along, you realise upon seeing her smile as you both arc up with indignation at the implication.
If Felix is fucking you absolutely senseless out of spite, you all know she'll still benefit from it.
It becomes something of a blur after that, Felix rolling his eyes as he undoes your buttons while Venetia refuses to help you out of your clothes before it's a rush of sweat and sex and breathless pleasure, moments to breathe and more wine. The Cattons push and pull and puppet you for their pleasure, much to your own, and you lose track of how it should feel wrong when it really starts to feel so fucking right.
Venetia was absolutely right; you absolutely loved how spoiled and entitled they could be, especially if it's you and your body they're acting so entitled over.
Finally, on your back, legs wrapped around Felix's waist, you're bracedagainst Venetia's trembling thighs as she desperately rides your face. All three of you seem to know she's getting closer, and Felix fucks you in deep, steady strokes. But he leans forward, his hand coming to rest firmly on the back of Venetia's neck as she's gasping and panting. He pulls her close enough that their foreheads press together, Venetia, incoherent and eyes squeezed closed, and his other hand gently hold her face, thumb brushing against her cheek.
"That's it, Vee, show them how much you appreciate them," Felix mumbled encouragingly, and Venetia gasps at the sound of his voice, winding her arms around his neck, bracing herself against him as she grew steadily closer to her peak.
"You're such a freak, Felix," Venetia whimpers, as if she wasn't a completely willing and enthusiastic participant in the events, "I can't believe -" but then you whimpered against her cunt, tongue fucking her desperately as you dug the nails of one hand into her thighs, fingers of the other finding her clit and setting a relentless pace. The change had her swearing and moaning, sharing desperate panting breaths with her brother, never quite crossing that gossamer thread into something they both couldn't justify, that line in the sand neither could talk their way into coming back from.
"Let them get you off, Vee," Felix murmurs, "if you're gonna call them a dog, let them be a good one for you," you let out an appreciative noise, at his praise, keeping up how insistently, thoroughly you were fucking her with your tongue and fingers. Venetia comes with her forehead braced on Felix's shoulder, him holding her close, fingers running through her hair as she gasps and shudders, her thighs twitching either side of your head.
Venetia catching her breath shuffles back, breathing hard as she sat back against the bedpost at the foot of the bed, giving Felix the chance to focus on fucking you properly himself. In the next moment he's over you, has your knees pressed against your chest beneath him before your head has even stopped spinning from the sensations of it all. The way he's smiling down at you, all amused and affectionate - god, he almost looks proud - while his cock is deep inside of you at this new, perfect angle, its enough for you to know you won't last much longer.
"It's actually really gross how hot I find you right now, pet," Venetia's smirking at you when you angle your head to look at her, your expression one of dazed bliss. She reaches languidly down the side of the bed to where you'd left your jumpsuit, fishing around in the pocket for your cigarettes. You hear Felix's warm laughter as he presses his face against the crook of your neck, but thank fuck he doesn't stop, because you're so damn close. You've lost the ability to speak, to even really think, so caught up in the way you're coming undone under their combined attention and affection.
"You always this pretty when you're about to cum?" Venetia's voice is low and sultry, reaching out to caress your cheek with her free hand. She's sitting by you now, leaning down on her elbow to drink in the sight of you like this, "or just when Felix is being especially good to you?" And she kisses you messily, a pleased moan escaping her as she tastes herself on your tongue. Felix gasps 'fuck' against your collar, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as the feeling of you cumming around him tips him over the edge too. Venetia grins against your lips as you whimper and gasp into her mouth, hand fisting in her hair as the pleasure overwhelms you.
When you let her go, she's smiling softly, her forehead pressed to yours as you pant, trying to catch your breath, reorient yourself.
"They're always this pretty," Felix finally says a little breathlessly. Venetia laughs softly, sitting up again, though she takes your hand. Felix gently lowers your legs back to the bed before he moves to stand; you can hear the grin in his voice even if you're still to dazed to even sit up. It's with absolute bliss that you gaze up at the ceiling of stars you'd painted for him, watching the faintest traces that are still glowing.
"I think you're just always good to them," Venetia teases fondly before she gives your hand a squeeze, looking down at you, "he is, isn't he? He's such a loverboy when it comes to you, it's sickening, truly," but there's no bite to her words. There's a pleasant fog in your mind leftover from all the sensations you're still coming down from, so all you can do is beam up at her, nodding.
And when Felix laughs, you feel it light up in your chest.
"Can I borrow a robe?" Venetia asks idly, finally dropping your hand; she too stands, "my point has been well and truly proven, and I think I've had enough of you both for tonight." After Felix tosses her a robe, he offers you a hand to help you to your feet; he sounds somehow both proud and sheepish when he apologises after noticing how your legs are trembling.
With her sparkly ensemble and shoes in hand, Venetia's left the room before you even make it to the bathroom to clean up.
"Oh God," in the shower, Felix seems to be hit by a realisation that leaves him more than a little mortified, "I hope Ollie didn't hear any of that." The thought hadn't even occurred to you, and for the barest moment your expression mirrors his as your hand comes up to cover your mouth. Then, after another moment of consideration, Felix's seems to become more thoughtful than concerned as he utters, "actually," he deliberates, "is it weird that I think Ollie would be just as into that as we were?" He has a point, and you snort a laugh, shaking your head, and Felix's embarrassed laughter joins yours after only a moment more.
Unfortunately, as you would find out the following morning, not only was Oliver completely oblivious to the vaguely taboo tryst that had happened in the room attached his own, but it somehow wasn't even the most scandalous thing that had happened that night.
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poomphuripan · 5 months
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how do you feel about the changes from the original source in episode 2? personally i love how much more screentime women get compared to the novel—the brother-sister dynamic they added was such a nice touch and showing more of Ming’s family life early on really humanizes him. i also like that sol’s motivation for rejecting joe is different. it kind of got into gay-for-you terrority sometimes 😭 sorry for the ramble!
okay nonnie so my current verdict is I'M IN LOVE but i'm also wary.
before this series was even out, i had MULTIPLE conversations with different people on managing expectations for a better experience watching my stand-in because any novel reader would know it's NOT an easy novel to adapt considering its source material. you need a fine balance on how to make the scum ml as terrible as the story needs him to be for the emotional payoff to be as satisfying as it did in the novel, while not to make him so terrible that he's irredeemable in the audience's eye (which i'm sure not all novel readers felt yan ming xiu had redeemed himself yet at the end).
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watching the first and only trailer, my fears heightened because it definitely has a lot of sweet ming and joe scenes than i expected it to -> the impression i had then was that 'oh no they're going to softening up yan ming xiu and make him less callous towards zhou xiang' -> i told myself alright it's an adaptation, i will be happy if they just get the major PLOT points (as you can see my expectations bar were on the floor because i didn't wanna get my hopes up, that's how much i liked professional body double)
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but so far, i think i've been loving the changes in this adaptation because it feels liket the same story but slightly different characterization and pacing.
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so first let's talk about yan ming xiu aka ming. as i mentioned my fear of him being softened, i think that fear has gradually dissipated while we ease into ep 2 because i think the series does a GOOD job of recharacterizing yan ming xiu to fit with up poompat.
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so a bit of !!!!!novel spoilers warning but not really because im being very vague about it!!!!! but i always felt like yan ming xiu wasn't really well depicted in the novel since the novel is written from zhou xiang's perspective, yan ming xiu is so often to be looked through this rose colored lens of his to the point where i felt like ymx was a rather one dimensional pretty, arrogant, spoiled brat. reading the novel back then, i felt what a lot of average audience is currently asking from the series: SO WHAT DOES ZHOU XIANG SEE IN YAN MING XIU, is his dick that worth it?
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but like you mentioned, the series does well in humanizing ming and i would argue that the series has answered the question above better than the novel as joe makes it explicitly clear why he likes ming so bad (bonus is getting ming to hear this as well). with series!ming, we get to see aspects of his family life, the people around him and his general background whereas it took the novel 2/3 of the way for them to start introducing ymx's family to us but not for a very good reason but rather for a cliche subplot which i dislike (that i need the thai adaptation to do something better with this one).
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so rather than fearing the 'softening' up of ymx, i feel like this humanization treatment the series is giving ming is a better way of adapting novel!ymx because my stand-in doesn't shy away and unapologetically makes ming a terrible red flag...
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... yet simultaneously gives the audience some clues as to why ming is a red flag the way he is and it's not a seemingly inherent callous nature like other 188 novel scum mls. don't get me wrong, he's still a scum ml nonetheless but if you look at ymx's inherent level of maliciousness, it's nowhere near other scum mls written by the same author. and i think what my stand-in does well. because it is making the point 'ming is a terribly mean person but it's the result of his jealousy, his inability to listen to his own feelings and stubbornness, rather than an intentional aim to emotionally deceive joe' across much better than the novel did with just two eps.
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so far in terms of changes, i also like how the comedic elements are in here but they're not dominating the tone of this series and balances well out with the drama/angst going on. i guess this can also be credited to the actors/production team because they've always promoted my stand-in as a '120% sweet, 200% bitter romance DRAMA' series so i did not go in with the expectations of so much light hearted moments
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it's not to say that there weren't comedic elements in the novel, as the infamous 'and they were both top' scene is an exact adaptation of their first meeting in the novel.
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but being an adaptation, not to mention being a thai one nonetheless, my stand-in does well incorporating its way of doing humor into the original work seemlessly. joe's mood swings (affected by ming) were presented PERFECTLY through his three training session with his juniors. i feel like this is the kind of humor that could only be achieved through series/tv format as opposed to novel zhou xiang whose mood swings affected his acting work.
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on my beloved sol aka novel lan xi rong, i actually really like that they made him a former stunt actor as well and us getting to see porsche tanathorn doing all this action sequence (yes go yyds, rig your actor some of that screentime). but i thought it was very similar though, the reason for rejecting joe and his realization that joe was the only kind hearted genuine guy he's ever met once he's actually 'been in the industry'. i sure hope they don't characterize sol like how they did novel!lan xi rong 'i'm only gay for you'. give this man his own LOVE INTEREST (i'm actually betting my whole wallet on a brand new yim/sol loveline. i see it happening. it would not be a thai bl without at least one other side bl couple).
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all that being said, my only worry is that i feel like they've already adapted so much of the novel within 2 eps and thai bl adaptations have a tendency to diverge greatly from the original source material. so i have worries for the possible new subplots they might add into this series.
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tldr: i love my stand-in so much right now as a novel reader but i hate how i can't figure out what they're going to add in future eps ಥ_ಥ
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welcometoteyvat · 11 months
Text
waterborne poetry reactions (belated) (long post)
XINGQIU GOT FUCKING SMASHED IN THIS EVENT. BULLYING XINGQIU HOURS I LOVE TO SEE IT (affectionate)
bro got roasted for his handwriting, is Baffled by the mondstadters, then spends an entire day missing out on [whatever that was] and STILL DOESNT HAVE A CLUE WHAT HAPPENED HAHAHA im sorry i love bullying him
please never tell xingqiu whats going on it's payback <3
CHONGYUN DIONA AND MIKA. i need to hold them omg,,,, i was using freminet to wander around so in my heart they r just 4 cryo kids in a terrarium what will they do!! that combo was quite cute
CHONGYUN YANG MODE?!?!?!?!?! ON SCREEN??????? WAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he was adorable ;;;;;___;;;;; his little eye sparkles and the jumping T_T also the near-rap speed that his lines were delivered in was hilarious (thank you kinsen for ur service)
my son.... please never feed him chilis again
CHONGYUN IMPACT. that's all
now full of unfounded hope that chongyun will someday get an event about his pure yang spirit since they mentioned it a fair few times here
give him the deep lore he deserves
also XIAOYUN?!?!?!?! (only seeing what i want to see) THEY TALKED!!!! IN PERSON ON SCREEN THEY TALKED AND XIAO WASNT DISPARAGING!!!! im sorry this is what a rarepair with no food does to a mf
xiaolumi so strong (or xiaother if u prefer)
oughguhguhg the rhyming couplets part was SOOOO CUTE!! idk they did good with the pacing of the banter i think 🥺
adding onto that the camera angles and cuts this event were actually really nice and creative i think. they made it more engaging (the quick pan from chongyun to xingqiu at the end of the 3rd act, hu tao popping out from behind venti's shoulders during the couplet exchange, etc) it was REALLY good really funny. added to the experience a lot <3
Also venti zhongli are truly the most archon old friends ever
that cutscene was actually so pretty. It's drawn in the same style as Lyney's: very textured lines, slightly reminscent of linocuts, quite a few handdrawn parts, especially where there's water/liquid movement present, etc. Maybe this is a Fontaine style animated cutscene, since the oceanids and lyney are both from there? anyways. i'm intrigued—I wanna see if there are regional cutscene styles or something (that'd be very impressive)
the "close ur eyes paimon/diona" line was so fucking funny. traveler's been the third wheel a bunch of times but never this explicitly
also ! for people icked out by the morality of kid finch's crush on the oceanid: it is Fiction with a capital F
on the one hand I agree with the above sentiment, but it's also just funny to think about. first canon monsterfucker ? /JJJJJJJJJJJJJ don't kill me for that joke
Real thoughts: I think it was actually really sweet how he fell in love with a fairytale. Someone said the oceanid could've been aromantic coded to make their love story more morally palatable; I agree, it would've been cool if she was aro, but I don't think their romantic relationship is like somehow terrible and gross either
overall ending was really mid tbh, I appreciate the character growth of everyone who was on screen but literally all the other characters just disappeared. It was really unsatisfying lol especially for an event that was supposed to be hte gathering/unison of mond and liyue
would've been better if the second day's rhyming couplets ended the event I think; you'd have to tweak it to fit the mood of the oceanid/finch reveal but literally anything works, the ending was so anticlimactic
overall event: 10/10 for giving me the character interactions I wanted, and those that I never knew I needed, 5/10 because the minigames are. not the best, I get the intentions but the execution could've been better. And then 5/10 for story arc (heavily influenced by how mid the ending was LMAO)
I want to go through all the poems and their english translations because I Know somethings gonna get screwed up and I'm also just curious as to how they translated it
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