#not like anyone in the other departments shows up tho so i guess whats the point /sigh

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 7; "Stay here, honey."

a/n: tehe hi friends! we havent spoken much so...the tortured poets department was literally written for daisy and oliver, that's all i gotta say. i listened to i can fix him (no really i can) and guilty as sin this entire writing sesh. i missed yall tho! i feel like i havent written in 5ever. anyways enjoy friends :)

“Jesus, just pick it up.”

Oliver squinted his tired eyes at his phone screen. His body was twisted around, his neck arching to try to read the contact name that was flashing across his screen. This was the fourth time they had tried calling him. I was snug against his side, occupying the rest of his strength. I went to move away a bit, just to allow him some room to answer the phone without being contorted like a pretzel.

He felt me tug back from his hold and immediately set the phone back onto his bedside table. The screen was faced up. It was probably just me, me and my stupid naivety- but I was touched that he set it that way. My stupid belief that I meant just as much to him as he did to me made it so. Trust, love. Two feelings I had when I was with him that were now more familiar than the anger and fear I used to be consumed by.

Oliver latched his other hand, now free, around my back. His fingers splayed out around my hip, nose nuzzling into the bare crevice of my neck. I sunk into his body, an anchor sinking into cold, salty sea water.

“Eh, fuck ‘em. They’re just taking time away from me and my flower.”

I snorted at the pet name, though I secretly (not so-secretly) loved. “You’re so cringey sometimes.”

“Cringey?” He reeled his chin back, glaring down at me with those icy hazel eyes. “Girl…”

“Girl!” My mouth widened as the word so easily fell through his lips. I fought against giggles that were winning. “Who are you? Where’s Oliver?”

His laughter was deep, steady, chest rocking beneath my head, “Shh, don’t tell anyone. I’m his twin brother, Isaac. Oliver is on a top secret mission. He said you’ll always be in his heart, but he must go, fulfill his duty as a spy.”

“What the fuck,” I stated, nuzzling my head in bare chest in hopes the escape his jokes. I let out a small sigh as I fed into his humor, “You don’t have to lie to me, Isaac. I know he’s off with his secret girlfriend. Just, if you can speak to him, let him know that I won’t cry over him. I won’t miss him. Besides, his twin brother’s kinda…hot.”

“Secret girlfriend? What are you even talking about?”

Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t trained to read body language. Maybe it would’ve gone over my head if I didn’t know him, the very shell of him, so well. I could have looked past it, could’ve turned it over in my head, blurred the lines, pretended like I didn’t know the way his eyes flickered, disruption taking over his hazel pupils, as he glanced, so minutely, to his cell phone.

And, maybe it was me. Maybe I was really that insecure. Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I’d never really learn to trust him, based on the entirety of our situation.

I think Oliver noticed the flicker that tilted at the corners of my lips because his face fell, just a bit. And he rushed to cover it up, “There is no secret girlfriend, darling. I promise you that.”

And he did what he was so subconsciously genius at- he manipulated the situation, moved on from it, by wrapping me up, pressing the tip of his nose to mine, and saying, “You are my one and only, Daisy. The only one I want. Need.”

I was stupid, like I always was, and kissed him.

We continued on that morning, laying around like we always did, in the early hours of the dawn, long before anyone would wake up. They had a show later, but Oliver didn’t care about getting rest. He wanted- needed, he claimed- to be with me. I guess his idea of resting involved fucking me and kissing me and feeding me with his ownership.

He always asked the strangest questions, always reminiscent of that first night on the roof. He asked like he was trying to memorize the nocks on my bones, prophesied my future in a romantically dramatic way. It was usually when we were laying around like this, silence comfortable in our breaths.

Today’s was formed as more of a statement, curious intonation, “Tell me more about your mom.”

It took me by surprise, like he almost always did. It forced me to slow my own thoughts for a moment, articulate my memories, and find delicate words. Mostly, I wondered, “Why do you wanna know that?’’

Oliver was forced to think now, but he didn’t have much of a response, “I don’t know. I was just…wondering, I guess. I mean, you’ve told me your dad’s an ass, but you had to have gotten your beauty somewhere.”

I knew he used that compliment in a much more meaningful way than the surface level allowed it to be understood. So, I blushed, tilted my head, “Well, I could talk for hours about her. Don’t want your ears to bleed.”

“Nonsense, my love. Your voice is music to my ears.”

I nuzzled my nose to his cheek. Then, I mustered up the courage to fight my sadness and began with, “She was…literally everything to me and Sam. She…dad left when I was 5. Sam, 12. Mom was, like…30? I think? So young. She opened up her own flower shop not long before he left. But, it wasn’t nearly enough money for us to live off of. So, we, like, moved into the tiny ass apartment that was above the shop. It smelled like Chinese food because of the restaurant. And, sometimes, that mixed with the flowers. And my allergies are terrible! And, not to mention, mom smoked. So…it was rough. Sam and I shared a room, so we were together more than we should have been. We were…we were so mean to mom. We, like…took out dad’s absence on her, the fact that we had to live in this shitty apartment. Meanwhile, she was just…this ball of light. She’d stay up till 3am, in the shop, blasting Taylor Swift, arranging flowers, writing this silly little poem book she hid beneath her mattress and thought I never found and read. She picked up shifts at the Chinese restaurant literally every day. She never took a day off, not even on holidays. God, she must have been fucking miserable. But…no matter what…she was, just, like…kind. I think…no, nevermind.”

I sniffled and cut my own words off, teary eyes shutting. I didn’t want to be all sappy and emotional in front of Oliver, especially not at this time of day. As I tried to steady my breathing, Oliver’s arms tightened around me.

“Hey,” he swept a hand to my cheek, drawing my eyes to his, “Daisy…keep going. Please.”

“I think Sam really misses her. He…he’d help her out, with chores, making dinner, getting the trash cleaned up when she’d be overwhelmed and forget about it all. And at the time he resented her. But, he was a teenager. He didn’t know any better. But he beats himself up over it. I just…wish he’d be kinder to himself.”

“And what about you?” Oliver whispered once I had let a pregnant pause of silence go.

I looked up at him, struck by the question, like always, “What…about me.” My eyes drifted as my mind wandered, “I…I’d sneak downstairs, far too often, watch her from the doorway while she danced, sang, drank cheap wine, tossed flower petals all around. She’d always catch me. I was a noisy kid. But, she’d never punish me. She’d grab my little hand, drag me into the room with her, play all our favorite Taylor songs.”

Oliver cracked a joke which burst a ray of sunshine through the sadness layering itself overtop the room, “God, now I feel terrible for making fun of you.”

I punched him in the stomach, closed fist splaying out into a gentle palm on his belly. “You should. She meant a lot to me and my mom. I…she’s why Sam got into music. She had this- this beautiful voice. She’d write songs, along with her poems, and record them on this tape player.”

“Where is it now? Back at your apartment?”

“No,” I shook my head, “at hers. We never really cleaned it out. Sam still pays the lease.”

“And the flower shop?”

“A stupid fucking smoothie bar. I was really hoping one of us would take it over, run it, keep her alive. But…it’s just not feasible. Too expensive.” I’d always felt guilty for that- not investing in mom’s memory. I felt like I’d buried her back in my hometown and sealed shut whatever conscious thoughts I had of her in her grave with her rotting body.

It was just too much. She gave us everything and the world failed her, killed her. Every ounce of light that had been in her eyes was completely spoiled by the time the cancer had taken over.

The thought made me shutter. Oliver noticed and brushed a soothing hand through my hairline. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“No, no,” I tapped his stomach, “we should. I never really…never really mention her to anyone. This is nice.”

Oliver kissed my temple sweetly, “I agree. So, tell me about these late night dance parties you’d have.”

And, so, we spent the next few hours talking about my mom. Her smile, the inky flowers she had wrapped around her elbow, the way she’d let me stand on her toes while we waltzed across the shop.

We talked and talked. I cried and Oliver wiped my tears. He told me he’d give Taylor Swift another try.

And I found myself falling further.

Then, it was suddenly nearing 8am, when I knew for sure my brother’s alarm would be going off. So, we finished quickly with whatever we’d been doing. Then, Oliver helped me get dressed, which took much longer than it should’ve with two people pulling one person’s shirt over her head. It was because he stuck my head through, then dipped his head to my stomach, tracing my abdomen with wet kisses.

I giggled and shrunk away from the ticklish feeling. He laughed and chased me with his strong hands, encasing my hips with his splayed fingers. I tried pushing his touch away, writhing like a worm, but he was able to plant more kisses onto my skin.

Then his phone started ringing again.

Our movements paused. I slowly pulled the shirt the rest of the way down, meeting his eyes as my vision was cleared from that blockage. His hands moved, passively, to his sides. His body language, that distant, distracted look in my eyes burned.

“Oliver,” I accidentally whispered, then, “just answer it.”

He knew. He knew it was a challenge, a probe at the situation. He knew I was testing him. And, if he failed, if he refused to pick up the phone and answer the call, I’d run out.

I think that- losing me, watching me walk away- was just something he could not deal with right now. So, he made up some excuse while slinking over to the phone, “Probably just someone from the label. Or a stupid spam caller. No big deal.”

I was still facing away from him, still small, shrunken in on myself, when I said, to no one but the air, “Please.”

He didn’t hear me. “Hello?”

I turned around to face him, watching the muscles on his face carefully, paying attention to how he reacted to whoever was on the line. After a moment, he pressed the speaker button, and held the screen towards my vision.

“Spam,” Oliver scrunched his nose as he hung up.

Intuition, maybe jealousy, nibbled at my skin like some flesh-eating piranha. I gave one shake of my head, easily falling back into the casual, comfortable air that was routine between us. I smiled, a joke on my lips to push us past the awkwardness, “So, what kind of top secret mission is Oliver on? Drugs? Or…war?”

“Oh, all of the above!” He dramatically replied.

“Well, you tell Oliver that I need to be getting back to my own bed,” I tapped his chest, awaiting him to let his arms loose.

But, he squeezed tighter, even wrapping his occupied hand around me, “No! Please! Stay!”

“Won’t you ever get tired of me taking up space in your bed?” I giggled at his hair, tickling my neck.

He hummed a rejection, “Never. This is, like, our own secret sanctuary. Here, in this room, we can be whoever we want.”

I focused on his eyes, touching my nose to his. Then, he kissed me before mindlessly reaching behind himself to set his phone back up.

Face down.

I felt like throwing up.

The feeling was worse when I was alone, leaving his apartment like I had just signed an NDA. I tried my hardest not to overthink things, but considering our precarious relationship, this was a very difficult thing to do.

Somewhat luckily, Oliver had been normal the rest of our time together, easy-going, non-suspicious. That’s how someone who didn’t have a secret girlfriend should act. So, why couldn’t I be satisfied with that?

(Why did he place his phone face down? Why had the look in his eyes told me something different, something worse-?)

It would have made so much sense to find out that he did, in fact, have a girlfriend. After all, he’d been telling me all summer how unavailable he was. This would make so much more sense than the mindless, kind of shitty excuses he had for not being able to commit to me. Was it, then, my fault for getting involved with him? For fucking a taken man? Perhaps I’d pushed myself onto him, forcing the situation. No, no, it couldn’t have been. After all, he’d sought me out numerous times.

And, if this were the case, I was supposed to then end things? As soon as possible? Find her social media, send a fucking hey girly text message, throw myself off of a bridge in the process?

The way he kissed me when I left, the way he whispered, “I’ll miss you. You should come to the show tonight. My shining star. You’d make it all worth it. Until then, beautiful,” against my cheek, his eyelashes fluttering against my skin- there was no way I was the side piece. He was too invested in me.

Maybe she wasn’t real. Maybe he didn’t have a girlfriend. No, really- he just couldn’t have a girlfriend. It felt impossible. He was too…too caring, too gentle with me. He treated me so delicately it…just-

“Shit! Sorry!”

I had not been watching where I was going once I left Oliver’s room, which was extremely irresponsible of me. Anyone of our friends, my brother for Christ’s sake, could be walking these halls, on their way to visit the very person’s I’d just vacated. It was worse this week because Oliver’s room was on a different floor than everyone else’s. I had no way of excusing myself if I was caught up here. All I could do was be careful and hide when I heard someone familiar.

Yet, again- I was fucking stupid. I was careless. Mindless.

And I had run right into Adam.

“Daisy!” He looked up from his phone, still safe in his clutches because I’d only knocked into his left shoulder. “Shit, sorry. I’m a clutz.”

I forced out a chuckle, trying to seem chill, like I hadn’t just been having sex- 3 times- by his best friend, boss, lead singer of his band, my brother’s best friend.

“Oh, hey, Adam! No worries! I have plenty of bruises to prove I’m even more of a mess. What’re you up to?”

If I could gain control over the situation, be the one to ask the questions first, maybe then I could worm my way out of it without being exposed.

Then, a distant, deadly memory blared through my skull like a freight train. Last week, backstage. Adam, telling me where Oliver was, encouraging me to go to him. A knowing smile.

Fuck. This hole was deeper than I could ever crawl out of. Maybe he- maybe…maybe. Maybe he forgot-

“Daz…” he knew. He knew. Adam knew. He tilted his head, flicked his brows, gave a smile that suggested I just give up the facade already.

Before he could go on, I interrupted him, “Listen- just…please, just…no lectures, okay? I can handle myself. I know you guys all think Oliver’s this, like, bad person. But, he’s not. And, like- even if he is, I can handle it. I got it. I don’t need to be told what to do or warned or treated like a child. I- Oliver’s…it’s, just…you guys don’t know, okay? We have…I know it seems, like shitty, to you, probably. But…it’s really good. We have fun and, and we like each other…and that’s all that matters. Your opinions don't matter.”

As I went on, Adam’s face contorted into one of confusion, shock. Like he wasn’t computing the information I was messily throwing his way. “Daz, I…are you guys not just hooking up? I thought- I thought you were just fucking?” He let out a breathy chuckle, one of slight uncomfortability.

“It’s…yeah, like…I can see why you might think that, but…we have feelings for each other. And we’re not together or anything, but…we’re…we’re working on it.” For insisting that I didn’t want to be lectured like a child, I sure was speaking like one, shrinking in on myself, fiddling with my fingers all shy.

“So, please,” I held my hands up all defensive, like he’d lurch forward and attack me or something.

But, Adam simply sighed. He pocketed his phone, crossed his arms, eyeing me like some art exhibit. I didn’t know what he was going to say and, based on the silence he gave me, I didn’t really want to. He was calculating his response. He was probably going to fucking lecture me.

“Daisy, I…” aaand, here we go. It was me and Max in the elevator, all over again. It was Sasha, across from me at the breakfast table.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do. That’s just not my place, no matter how much you mean to all of us, how much I think of you like, fuck, like a little sister. You are an adult. You can make your own decisions, dude.”

I breathed out the air I was holding. It was a relief, a sentiment I needed to hear. I didn’t care if I was being stupid- I just wished people would listen to me for once and let me do what I wanted.

“But.”

I shut my eyes, a bit tighter, longer than a blink took, in an attempt to ground the anger that was growing in my fingertips. “But, what?” My words were short, scornful.

“But,” Adam sighed again, “I just want you to be happy. I’ve watched you, all summer, try to prove yourself. To Sasha, to Max, to me. To your brother, especially. And, worst of all, Oliver.”

“It makes me so disappointed to see somebody like you have such little self worth. To see you dilute yourself for others. You are…so kind. So beautiful. So pointed and smart and sure of yourself. But, you hate it. You hate that you’re like that. You want to turn yourself into some version of you that just doesn’t fit. Some girl who’s edgy, some girl who’s laid back and doesn’t care what happens. That’s just not you, Daisy. You are intense. And that’s good! You’re passionate, you know what you want. You just…you need to believe you’re worth those wants. Stop doubting your abilities to make it happen. Stop doubting that you deserve it. Just grab it.”

I hadn’t expected to be so humbled. His words were…truer than any cheesy line any therapist had sold to me for $200. It knocked the wind out of me, forcing me to take a step back, literally. I guarded myself from the rush of the tornado, an arm wrapped over my stomach, one nervously rubbing my neck.

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

“I’m…sorry,” I whispered in response. It was all I could think to say.

“Don’t say sorry to me,” Adam touched my shoulder, “say it to yourself. You deserve the entire world. And I hope you accept that soon. This shit with Oliver will suck the life out of you.”

All I could think to do next was toss my arms around his shoulders, clutching him to my body like a warm blanket. He hugged me back, just as tight.

After only a few moments, we pulled apart. Neither of us said anything else. Adam simply touched my head, lovingly offering me this brotherly smile, before continuing his way down the hall.

I finally made my way to the elevator, one singular thought on my mind: my own self worth.

Adam had been so shockingly correct. I…

I knew it, too. I’d known it this whole time, only making myself and thought smaller in order to make room for Oliver. I couldn’t keep doing that. I needed to prioritize my own worth while loving him.

Loving him.

I needed to…

We couldn’t keep going like this.

I loved him.

And, from the way he held me, kissed me…the lyrical remedies he spoke to me…he loved me.

He loves me.

I’d confront him about this intuitive feeling.

Tonight.

–

“And this one I got when we were in Australia last year. I had this idea of getting ink everytime we hit a new city. But it got kind of expensive. Plus, we’re always so busy now that it’s, like, do I wanna eat or get a tattoo?”

“Get a tattoo, obviously,” Sam scoffed from the couch, a hint of tease within his tone. He scrolled mindlessly on his phone, barely a part of the conversation, just a nuisance, really.

Ronnie met my eyes and rolled her gaze, “Anyways-“

I giggled at the interaction before returning my line of sight to her arm. She pointed upon another piece of art inked onto her skin, diving into the backstory for that specific moment in time. Though it looked, to any passerby, that she was simply splattered with random images, doodles, animals, symbols- there was meaning to each and every piece on her body.

Tonight’s show had been postponed until tomorrow due to the monstrous thunderstorm that knocked out the power on that side of the city. With half the town closed down and plenty of free time now on our hands, Ronnie, Sam, and I found ourselves in our hotel room. We had been laying around for the majority of the afternoon, random topics on our minds.

I was killing time until I could chase Oliver down in his room, make my big stupid love confession.

Having admired Ronnie’s tattoos for a while, I was glad to finally have some extra time to ask her about all of them. It was always nice to get to talk to her, especially this in-depth, about most anything. She was intelligent and, frankly, hilarious.

She finished telling me the story about the horseshoe around her elbow. Then, before she continued down her left arm, she paused, another thought having intruded her concentration, “Daz.”

I tilted my head in recognition of my name, encouraging her to go on. She gave a little grin, like she had some sort of coy idea floating around in her head, “You don’t have any tattoos? Right?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. I definitely want some. Honestly, I get a little nervous,” I sheepishly admitted to what was holding me back.

Ronnie’s expression positively grew. I understood, based on the context clues and the way she peered over at me, what she was getting at now.

“Half the city is out of power,” I raised my brows at her. I wasn’t opposed to the idea- I, myself, even had a little smile itching at my lips. I was just…a little scared, to be honest. I hated needles, like any average person did. Plus, the idea of something so permanent on my skin terrified me. What would I even get?

“I know a guy. He’d come to us.”

“I don’t know what I’d get! I can’t do last minute things like this. I’ll regret it forever,” I giggled, though what I was saying was true.

Ronnie sat up, grasping my hands in hers. She clutched on, begging from her knees on the bed beside me, “That’s the best way to get a tattoo. Get something stupid, something you don’t even know if you like, so you can regret it and hate it until you finally decide to love it! Plus, what a memory we’ll make, Daz! We’ve barely gotten to do anything together this summer, yet you’ve become like a sister to me. We have to do it!”

Sam came out of the bathroom, face half-covered in shaving cream, razor dangling between his fingertips. He met my gaze as I turned my head towards him, a relaxed, pleased look on his brows. “Daz…”

“Sam..” I returned his tone, awaiting his criticism, his claims of me being too good-two-shoes to follow through.

His brows rose more, “Daz! Come on! You have to!”

“Sam, really? I thought you of all people would hate this idea! You really think I should do it?” I was shocked, to say the least. Where was his chidness? His disapproval? The daunting argument always between us?

Nowhere to be found. It was like character development, magically morphing itself before my eyes.

“You have to! You said yourself, this summer is supposed to be about letting go, having fun, being dumb. So far, I haven’t seen you let go and be dumb at all. So, you have to check those off your list! What better way to do that than by getting an impulsive tattoo?” He pointed.

If only he knew just how dumb I’d been this entire time.

I think he’d have killed me if he found out even just a shred of the truth.

He was right, anyway. What I thought was letting go, not caring- it wasn’t. And I knew that now. It was exactly what Adam had been telling me.

Oh, well. Sam would soon know the truth, once Oliver and I talked through the relationship. I’d deal with that hill after the mountain.

Everything between me and Oliver was out of my control- yet, I was clutching to the situation with white knuckles.

The idea of a tattoo was a distraction, a shred of proof, to myself, that I could control something. That I could genuinely let go of fate for a moment or two.

Besides, I’d always hear that tattoo therapy was the best kind of way to get through shit.

“Fuck it.”

So, there I sat, still in my pajamas, fuzzy socks on my feet, on the edge of my hotel bed, arm propped up on Ronnie’s friend Frank’s stand he’d brought with him.

I didn’t know what I was getting. Ronnie convinced me to let her pick something out, but I only let her do so if Sam had approved it first. The giddy expression on his face and the squeeze around my shoulders that he gave me signaled that it was a good pick.

My knee was bouncing. Anxiety that I more than expected filtered through my system like a poison. I steadied my breathing, focused on the fidget ring I wore on my left hand. Frank was setting everything up on this collapsible tablet he’d unpacked from this wagon he stepped into the room with. Ronnie and Sam talked his ear off, laughing over old memories they all shared. I didn’t even know my brother knew this guy, but I guess he had this entire life I didn’t know about in the first place.

I kept to myself, fit with the quiet introduction I offered and the stress that bled off of my skin in droplets of sweat.

more pre tattoo shit

“You love it?” Ronnie stood behind me in the mirror,

cutest poolside

“What the fuck!” Max bounded through the door. He had a Sleep Token bucket hat on his hair and I nearly snorted at how goofy it looked on his head.

But, any tease I wanted to prod him with was curbed as he brought his complaints further into the hotel room. He spotted me after looking over the rest of the habitants. His offended expression didn’t lessen, though, like I thought it would once he fell into his usual routine of laughter and flirts. Instead, when he approached me, towering over my lounged sprawl across my bed, he noticed the black ink pooling beneath the dermal-wrap on my forearm. His brows shot up underneath the rim of the bucket hat that I was beginning to grow just a little jealous of.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t gotten into the boys’ music ever since the show. But I’d never admit that to any of them. Especially not my brother, who would’ve acted like the snarkiest prick because of his incessant need to be right, even though he was usually quite wrong.

“No fucking way!” Max climbed onto the bed beside me, crawling across the messy sheets by his knees. He stopped beside me and grasped my wrist in his hands.

The pull gently lurched me forward, forcing me to sit up. I dropped my phone to the bed beside me as Max dipped his head low, examining my new tattoo. I giggled at his wonderment.

“You got a tattoo! Without me! What the fuck! Daz, I’m hurt!” Max pouted, meeting my eyes with the puppy dog expression sinking in his brown ones.

Adam, Cyrus, and Oliver had shuffled into the room. The former two latched onto the tattooist’s conversation with my brother and Ronnie. They started bouncing ideas off of him as quick as one could blink. I wondered where they thought they could fit more ink on their already crowded skin.

Meanwhile, Oliver wasn’t being shy with how obvious he was, peering towards Max and I like we were a museum attraction. But, I was probably the only one to notice how his gaze first latched onto Max’s fingers, gripping my arm. Then, he moved his attention to my tattoo, trying to make out its shape from the distant angle at which he stood.

I felt it now, more than ever, since I’d confirmed the feelings in my gut and let them rise to the surface. Just looking at him, I knew it…I loved him so fucking much.

Though Oliver had averted his expression, his point of view, I knew what that first glance had been. I knew that burn in his gaze, the sickening claim in his pupils. Jealousy. So sickly sweet and insecure.

Suddenly self aware, if only because of that strange understanding I had of him, I slipped my hand from Max’s. I pulled my knees in front of my chest which expanded the distance between us. Though the movement was light, Max noticed it like noticed his own breaths.

His words stuttered for a moment, fading away as the proof settled in the room, “How’d you deci- decide….on…” He filtered his look from my face then over his shoulder, at Oliver. I had peered at the latter for a moment too long, a gaze which was easily noticed by my friend.

“On it,” Max’s tone fell off. Oliver didn’t meet his eye, his gaze latched onto my tattoo still. What had been an observational moment for Oliver turned into an avoidance of Max’s confrontation.

I was seeing through the smog now, the rose colored glasses just a bit dimmer than they had been before. And Oliver looked…he looked ashamed. Ashamed that Max was finding out, or ashamed that he had been with me? I would soon find out.

Max glanced back at me. I followed the curves on the sheets with a distanced glaze behind my lids, barren all the same. Then, Max looked to his friend again.

He waited for someone to say something. But neither of us would wave a white flag, nor would we confess to the guilty sin. My plan had been to tell Oliver how I felt, then tell everyone if I needed to.

And I didn’t really want to. Especially not Max. I felt like I’d betrayed his trust.

Max sighed, sitting up a bit straighter. He dropped a gaped, “Oh,” before pulling himself off of the bed, becoming a part of everyone else’s momentum.

My body paused, Oliver and I tangled in the poison ivy on the cream colored wallpaper behind me. He didn’t look at me, he didn’t breath, he didn’t do anything. He just stood there, anxiety bleeding off his healed scars like me.

I hadn’t expected him to jump onto the bed, proclaim his love for me, and tell the judgemental town folk that they just didn’t understand Romeo and Juliet. But, something other than his quiet treason would have been everything to my jittery frame.

I would have appreciated it if he had, at least, told Max to forget about it. If he would have shoveled some excuse off the tip of his tongue, defended me, us, the stupid love affair we thought was getting us somewhere.

But he didn’t.

He just fucking stood there, like he always did.

It made the confidence Id just built up waver a bit.

I was too anxious to really do anything, either. I couldn’t find the nerve to stand on my own two feet, let alone pull Max aside and try to excuse our indiscretions. The room was suffocating as the stress further settled in.

Max knew. Max knew.

He knew.

The cat would tear itself out of the bag any day now if I couldn’t get it under control today.

It was only a matter of a ticking time bomb. When would the seconds run out? When would the explosion shatter my skull?

I thought about running out of the room, tossing myself off the balcony.

But before I could find the strength to get my footing on the carpet of the hotel room floor, someone was saying my name. Someone was dragging me into a conversation, turning the room’s energy onto me and Oliver’s sad, pathetic, bubble of shame, anxiety, and ruthless obsession.

I snapped out of my fragile little frame like the chill girl that I was and answered the question Sam had asked;

“Do you remember mom’s joke? About the flowers?”

I rubbed my dried lips together until they morphed easily into a sweet smile. The anxiety was pushed back down, like it always was, as I played my old, now forgotten role, “Which one? She had that book behind the counter. She harassed customers with it. Said she’d been a comedian in an alternate timeline, but I don’t think so.”

Sam rolled his eyes gleefully. The room shared a laugh at the thought of some eclectic woman, chasing customers out of her flower shop with a thrifted joke book before her eyes. I remember one time she tripped over a pot and nearly fell onto the concrete floor, already sprinkled with petals and cut-off flower stems. She caught herself, but fell to her knees with laughter. Sam rolled his eyes from behind the counter, where he’d been doing homework.

But, I could see myself, 10, braided plaits in my hair, scurrying over from my seat at the window. I abandoned my book, something I never did, to bask in my mom’s joyous laughter, something I missed more than air these days.

I wonder what Oliver thought of this story, now knowing what he knew. I wanted to look for him, for a smile. But I kept staring straight, at my brother.

“I know, but it was, like- it was the one about the photos and the camera. Something, like…” he racked his brain, concentration on his blond brows. “Helping..plants?”

“Helping the plant photosynthesize!” I straightened up as the punchline lurched from the depths of my memories.

Sam and I laughed, louder than the others possibly could, as we shared a sacred vision, as blurry as my eyes, as fleeting as the smell of our mom’s perfume. She loved that joke.

I could do with a little bit of her humor, now more than ever.

The things she’d say, if she could see me now…

Regardless, I think she’d have liked Oliver.

“Well, don’t bother telling the joke,” Ronnie snickered, patting Sam’s shoulder.

I noticed the intensity of his bone, from just the longer of her fingers on his clothed-skin. But he easily hid that before it became obvious. I recognized that flinch…But my brain was too busy to really memorize the interaction, let alone evaluate it.

“You spoiled it!” Ronnie drew another laugh from the crowd.

The joking continued, though the topic moved away from our mom. My thoughts lingered on her, as Adam moved to the tattoo station, the artist having found a spare spot on his shoulder to put some symbol I couldn’t make out.

My attention turned to my arm, to the burning ink settling its way into the layers of my derma. Two thin flowers, stems rooted in nothing but my pink skin, no soil in sight, just the garden of my body. The petals shaped out the delicate curve of the pair of daisies, my mom’s initials written out to the left of the small bouquet.

I looked up when I felt someone’s gaze on my face. It was Sam, watching me admiring my tattoo with this awestruck way that only a brother who loved his sister could appear.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt the urge to break the distance between us. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tightly against me. He didn’t hesitate to embrace me, even tighter. When he pulled apart, he pressed a kiss to my hairline.

“I love you, Sam ham.”

He punched my shoulder.

I was so scared to tell him about Oliver, though I was now realizing it would have to happen eventually. Adam’s advice- unsolicited, sure- had given me so much clarity. I was running, so much, so far, on broken ankles. Running from the truth, from myself.

I couldn’t anymore.

I went to say something else, but a phone started ringing in the room somewhere. It wouldn’t have been too halting if, when I passively looked over my shoulder, it hadn’t been Oliver’s cell.

He tugged it from his pocket, curiously reading the contact across the screen. As always, he denied the call and stuck it back in his pocket. He’d told me before that he thought it rude to answer it in front of others. Yet, as soon as he put it away, it began ringing again.

He went to deny it, again, when Cy called out a tease from his seat on the couch. “Dude, just go outside and answer it. Could be someone important.”

“It’s not,” Oliver muttered, denying it.

It was ringing. Again.

“Your mom?” Sam inquired, brows furrowed.

I knew Oliver’s mom didn’t call often, a small detail he’d told me once in a fleeting conversation about his family, a set of people he didn’t really identify himself with if only because of the distance between them all.

So, when she did call, he’d always take it. Couldn’t be her, but I couldn’t vocalize this knowledge.

Oliver shook his head, confirming my suspicion. Everyone else that I knew he spoke to was in this room.

Spam, probably.

Oliver denied the call. It was ringing before he could hide it away, shut it off, hell- throw it out the window.

Oliver huffed, loudly. Sam snickered, then, a knowing chuckle that told me he knew something I didn’t.

“Ooo,” Sam took a few steps towards his friend, who was still seated on the couch. He peered over Oliver’s shoulder, who quickly hid the phone. “That tells me all I need to know.”

“Shut up, dude,” Oliver’s eyes rolled over mine, shortly, quickly, ashamedly.

This was, really, where things did start to fall apart, if I had to pick a singular moment in time and stamp it.

This was it. The end of it all. My demise.

Our fate finally crawling from our throats.

Where I thought I had control, where I thought I knew exactly how to handle the situation, cure our disease…

There were cells multiplying beneath our pale skin.

Max, sat on the couch now, stood to his feet with a sense of urgency. He met my eyes as I glanced at him, right before things clicked in my head, right before Sam opened his mouth. It was like he could see the future, his intuition screeching like a siren. Once the bomb dropped, I noticed the panic in Max’s eyes and looked back to my brother, towards Oliver, who gazed at me again, as fleeting as that final look was.

“Ah, it’s your little girlfriend. Knew you two would get back together. How is Fiona these days? Still annoying as ever?” Sam seemed amused by the moment.

He was so unaware of the drama layered just underneath the careless air he easily existed in, so unaware of the panic in my body as I fled from the room. I made no attempt to make myself seem casual or fucking chill.

Max didn’t hesitate to follow me. He was on my heels, hot as the summer air just outside of the windows.

But, I ignored him as he called out my name.

The air in my lungs was burning, like I was going up in flames from the inside out. Maybe it was that pain, or maybe it was the choking tears flooding down my cheeks, but- my vision was blurring. I was dizzy. Short-lived muscle memory is the only thing that got me to the elevator doors. But, I couldn’t find the button. I slammed my fingers against the wall, only feeling the dry scratch of the decorative paper beneath my prints.

My lips wobbled like a child’s, blubbers that were supposed to be sobs flustering out from my tongue. “Where is it? Where the fuck is it?” I whispered to myself, pointer finger numb from how harshly I was jabbing the wall.

My harbors had gone up in flames. I was floating in deep, deathly waters with nowhere to anchor. Until- Max’s voice finally caught up with me. One gentle hand on the dip of my back, one carefully wrapping its fingers around my wrist.

I couldn’t resist, not that I really wanted to, as his towering, homely frame took me in, cradled me like the child I needed to be in this moment.

The elevator finally beeped, the doors opening like another set of warm, homely arms. Max guided us inside and peeled one of his hands away from me to press the button for the second floor.

I half-expected Oliver to chase us down, to lodge his body between the doors, grab me from Max’s arms. I wanted him to chase me out into the rain, flag down a taxi, meet me at the airport like some cheesy rom-com scene.

But, he didn’t.

In fact, he didn’t say anything to me for three whole fucking days.

[ramblingroommate]

Watching 9-1-1 for the first time

Ok the canonically bi firefighter got me. I’ve been seeing gifs of “the gay firefighter show” for around two years and I gotta be honest… I never gave it a chance. It was fun seeing people post about the show here and there but I mentally categorized it as “yet another queer coded queerbaiting show tumblr goes crazy for… been there done that”. But making one of the characters from the main ship (from what I understand) CANONICALLY queer after SEVEN SEASONS? A MONTH BEFORE PRIDE? Okay now I just have to watch it.

So here I am. Watching it for the first time and writing about it. This is more exciting than I expected tbh. Oh! Just to make it clear: I have never seen a single episode of this show but I have heard quite a few things about the characters over the years. But I never paid that much attention? So I’m not even sure what I actually know… I’ll figure it out when I get to it I guess.

Episode 1x1: Pilot

I like that straight off the bat the VERY FIRST thing they say is that there are two types of emergencies: the immediate abrupt ones and the long term slowly corroding ones. This character (Abby?) is a 911 operator and has a mother with Alzheimer so she’s pretty familiar with both types of emergencies. What a way to introduce a character! Also I like her voice, it’s soothing.

Here they are! Nice to finally officially meet you guys. Oh, I guess that’s something I know: I know all the characters names even tho I can’t really match most of them with a face. I obviously recognize Buck. And I know Eddie gets introduced in season 2. I’m guessing the older guy that seems to be in charge is Bobby? I think he’s like their boss or something? I hope the bits and pieces of info I know won’t start to mix in my head.

Also those are the worst compressions I have ever seen in my life. Can we put a little more effort in this cpr?

I mean… yeah? Mmmh. Okay that line threw me off for a moment. On one hand, of course they hang up after help gets there, that’s why they called in the first place. THEY are the ones in need, it’s about them not about you.

On the other hand, I think I understand what they’re trying to say… it has to be hard to not know if you actually helped or not, not have that closure. A nurse, a doctor, a firefighter know if the person they were called in to help was actually saved or not. Whether it’s good or bad, at least they get the closure of knowing. A 911 operator might be there for the worst part and then that’s it. On to the next one. Never thought about that before.

Oof that’s not gonna work. I mean I understand why he would say it and i remember an article talking exactly about this but… that’s not something that’s gonna help her in the moment.

… yeah

Tho I gotta say… they actually showed her fall, I didn’t expect it. It shows the kinda budget this show has, doing a stunt like that for a character you see for 3 minutes. Maybe a bit cold on my part to focus on that but oh well

Mmmh… a black book with names written inside. Either this has suddenly become Death Note or he has a Secret Past TM. There are also numbers… probably the number of people he couldn’t save in some tragic accident and somehow feels responsible for? And now he wants to make up for it by saving the same number of people. If that’s the case then it’s peak tv drama.

Ok wait wait slOW DOWN THERE, I CAN’T KEEP UP. Twenty seconds of conversation and I learned Bobby is a devout christian ex addict (alcohol and painkillers) who got in trouble with the department and spent ten years in and out of rehab AND has only been back for 18 months??? I wasn’t expecting to be told so much backstory so soon.

And then they immediately cut to Buck… is he a sex addict? Is that what they’re implying here? Gonna ignore everything else that happens on screen because firehose? Really?

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

THIS SHOW IS MADE BY RYAN MURPHY?!?!???! AND BRAD FALCHUK TOO, THE TWO GUYS WHO ALSO MADE GLEE?

WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUUUUUUU-

Okay so I have much more to say about this show than I thought so I’m gonna split my comments in more parts (part 2 here)

[golbrocklovely]

it's time to finally post my bridgerton, season 3 part one review.

this is just gonna be the first two episode bc apparently idk how to write a small reaction to anything lol

obvious spoilers (to both part one and the books) if you haven't seen/read them yet

episode one - out of the shadows

before i watched this episode, i ended up seeing the spoilers for it on twitter, which tbh didn't upset me bc when i read something, it's not the same as viewing it. like i'll have an idea in my head of what's to come, but it's never quite the same as the show presents it so, i never feel like i'm spoiled by reading something ahead of time.

as for this episode, what a fantastic way to start off the season. i think overall it was well paced and flowed so quickly. there wasn't a single moment i was bored during this episode.

i guess for this whole review i'm just gonna point out things i like and dislike. keep it simple.

seeing pen in her usual get up was such a good idea to start bc then seeing her transition into her glow up… crazy. literally night and day.

colin being a cocky bastard and so full of himself made my eyes roll MULTIPLE times. but i kinda love it lol

also the idea of him getting off the boat, after months of travel, most likely smelling like actual fucking ass, only to have a bunch of ladies swooning after him is a very funny sight to think of sksks

every single moment pen and colin interact i'm eating it up. idc if it's just the briefest of glances, i'm IN LOVE.

eloise siding with and befriending cressida… i hate it with a fiery passion. something about it feels so slimy, to be friends with the person that has made your ex best friend's life a living hell. and look, i get it. pen is LW, she wrote things about eloise that "ruined her", along with other family drama that has occurred in the seasons. but my whole thing is… eloise will never be ruined. and the reason for it is bc she's a bridgerton. they never are actually ruined. they bounce back. they are one of the highest ranking families in the ton, they're rich and hot, their one daughter is a duchess, they are close with lady danbury and the queen. like???? they won't ever be ruined. unless something catastrophic happens, they will always be fine. so that's why even el being friendly with a gasp poor person didn't do anything to her withstanding. bc if it did, no one would want to court francesca. but clearly she's the diamond of the season.

and not only that, but LW has also written about pen's family, even when her family has far less withstanding. she has so much more to lose when writing of her own family's shortcomings. and on top of that, if she didn't do what she did last season, el would have been assumed to be LW and the queen would have actually fucked up that family's lives. so… while i get being upset at pen, to befriend a person that you both agreed was the absolute fucking worst just feels like a direct attack and not a "well she was the only one that was there for me"

all of colin's flirting at the garden party is both eye roll inducing and hilarious at the same time. and also a twinge bit hot lol

i LOVE how far up his own ass colin is that when he finally talks to pen, and she says "much has certainly changed in that time." he assumes she's talking about what he's wearing and he replies with "a good deal i know, but it was all the rage in paris." bro….. no one CARES about your fit.

i will say tho, the bts of the wardrobe department showing that he wore that greenish kerchief to possibly impress pen was honestly so cute. like… that man really was deeply in love with her without realizing it at all.

pen's sisters are the WORST (but so funny) and their husbands are the best. hands down.

someone pointed it out on twitter that gregory points his bow at colin, almost like he gets hit with an arrow (of love). eros and psyche come THRU

colin saying nothing about his travels to anyone strictly bc he's been told countless times no one cares, only to share them with pen…. GOD I LOVE THIS SEASON

i also really love that literally everyone who actually cares about colin sees thru his shtick. humble that man real fast lmao

controversial opinion (so i'm sorry in advance to anyone that loves francesca and her story) but god… i do not care about her whatsoever. at least in the show, it is very hard to care about her and whatever she's doing. if she had been in last season, even just in the background, maybe i would care a little bit about her. but i honestly just don't give a shit. respectfully, i don't even see how this show is gonna make it to her season in the first place, unless they start condensing seasons together.

that being said, her parts with john are absolutely adorable and i relate to wanting someone that can appreciate quiet like you can. trust and believe that. but knowing what ends up happening to him in the end, i just… can't be bothered to care or want to get attached.

also the mondrich's storyline; i think it could be more entertaining, but it feels kinda flat as of right now. maybe part two things pick up, but currently in the storyline… it's a no from me.

kate and anthony are so hot. holy shit. thank god jonny is gay bc if he wasn't i think i would spending every waking moment thirsting after him lol

pen's reveal feels weirdly… lackluster. i think the only reason i'm not wowed by it completely is just bc she looks so uncomfortable. i get why she's like that, but i kinda feel like it would have been better if she felt even just a little bit confident in herself since it's not the same citrus colors like usual, but then reality crashes back in when she has to flirt with suitors and it just goes horribly wrong.

and i hope we see her in dark green again in part two bc she looks so good in it. what a waste it will be otherwise if all we ever see her in is pastels.

colin losing his train of thought once he sees pen I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT

fran and pen's convo. i live for it. i hope we see more of them as friends in part two and later seasons. also omg pen… my poor baby. i just relate to her so much, it hurts.

i think the reason why i love debling so much, or that i think in some ways he could have been a good suitor is bc he sees pen as capable. everyone else in pen's life doubts her abilities. they don't see her as someone that could be "normal" so to speak. or really, no one else sees her as a woman other than him. at least at first. (i'll go into my explanation later in episode two)

colin being immediately concerned for pen as she runs away YES

the whole "goodnight mr. bridgerton" scene…………….. 10/10 in every way. READ HIS ASS TO FILTH PENELOPE

okay, so the one thing i actually genuinely love about this scene is that in the books, colin is always known as the charming one. and that ends up being something he hates. in this show, instead of charming, he's nice (he's also charming, don't get me wrong. but he's known as being the nice one). he's always nice. always doing something nice for someone else. always being told he's nice. so to have pen call him out and say "the one time you should have been nice, you were just like everyone else instead" god i just KNOW that shook that man to his core. which is why he comes back to her all sad and puppy dog eyed like 'pwease pen i'm swrry'

rae is a queen with her stares. props to that actress haha

colin's speech to her is basically a love confession. and then there's the one in the carriage…. and then we are also getting ANOTHER one (allegedly). i'm not gonna survive this season !!

pen/nic looks GORGEOUS in this dress. i wish she wore it in more than just this scene omg

"i'm gonna ruin lady whistledown"…. hehe yes you are

episode two - how bright the moon

i feel bad for pen every time she has to have an interaction with portia. she's so cold to her, it's so sad to see.

forgot to point it out from the previous episode, but pen losing her customer service voice with colin is honestly the funniest thing to me and also so real of her

the scene of her trying to seduce the men was the awkwardest thing i've ever seen and i literally could not watch it without skipping thru it. she's great in that scene don't get me wrong but the second hand embarrassment is just too much for me to take sksks

her sisters, while the worst, are the funniest. so props to them.

yes, the scene of him with the sex workers is gross bc it's very unlike colin. however…. my god is luke hot. please let me see more of him in roles like that, thank you very much.

also someone pointed it out that you can see his tattoo in that scene and wow you really can. they did a poor job of covering it up lol or at least a hasty one

(this is a side note too, but i could swear on my life that there is another romcom where it's a guy trying to help a girl get a date and on one of the days he tries to help he leaves to go hook up with someone else or before hand is hooking up with someone else. i know it probably exists out that but that whole sequence reminded me of something i can't remember fully)

him remembering the first time they met is adorable and i'm so happy they kept it similar to the books. but i do also love the fact that he thinks she was able to laugh things off with him bc she was charming and not bc she was totally in love with him from the second she saw him lol

the statue of eros and psyche on the table while they talk about how they met YALL AIN'T SLICK I SEE YOU

this whole scene is so flirty and cute omg i love it

i highly recommend on a rewatch to put the english audio descriptors on bc… this scene is a *chefs kiss* when it ends with "rae stares at them sourly… rae follows, casting a sharp look at colin" that queen knows what's going on sksks

him touching her back…. SCANDALOUS. literally when i first saw this i gasped

okay, so the whole part of him teaching her to flirt or whatever was what i was talking about in the previous episode. so many ppl in pen's life don't see her as capable to be a woman. to them, she's a child, navigating the world confused and with her head in the clouds. her sisters have never seen her as competition bc to them, she will be a spinster. el would have never suspected pen to want a husband bc she always assumed that they would both be old maids together, regardless of what pen wanted. colin didn't think she would be able to flirt with him or take his breath away bc he saw how she was at the park (a singular time) and "knew" that she was incapable of being a flirt, which is why he's so taken aback by her "remarkable shade of blue" comment. everyone underestimates her and never suspects her to be an actual woman, when she has been one for quite sometime.

him being stunned into silence THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT BB

parts of this episode, and really the whole of part one, were spoiled to me (thanks so much for that twitter). and i heard ppl saying that colin writes smut in his journal and i'm like… surely that's not the case. and it really wasn't, but i think so many ppl got hung up on the fact he did that and not on the fact that he literally says "yeah i'm having all this sex, but i'm lonely. there's no love here" like… what a sad boy.

colin being angry is so hot, i'm sorry. i'm toxic lol

again, audio descriptor coming in clutch "he curls his fingers inward, softly enfolding hers" BROOOOOOOOO i died when i heard that the first time omg

i love he's like "maybe we should finish this for the day. but also…….. am i gonna see you later" this guy is touch STARVED my lord lol

el caring about pen… my heart hurts

i need it to be known that luke/colin looks so much like nick/kevin jonas to me it's crazy. certain angles make him look exactly like them it's nuts.

colin "praise kink" bridgerton unlocked by just pen saying a few sweet words about his writing… same

them just giggling at a guy mourning the loss of his horse… they are sick and twisted and perfect for one another lmao

el has the loudest mouth in all the ton, my GOD

"inserts himself? inserts himself where?" will never not be funny.

jealous by nick jonas playing…. i know that's right

it's also hilarious to think that colin is literally jealous of her talking to some other guy that he did not decide she should talk to. and then hearing he's calling upon her tomorrow, the face he makes????? omg i'm DYING i love jealous men i'm sorry

angry colin twice in one episode???? fuck i'm in heaven

never did i think in my wildest dreams i'd see pen's sisters fucking their husbands sksksks

the pen and portia scene hurt a lot, imma be honest. i think what's so interesting is how similar they are to one another in a way, but how pen still has hope, while portia doesn't.

and there is one brief moment when she tries to reach out and comfort pen… god, that made me tear up the first time i saw it.

him bribing rae??? thank you sugar daddy haha

also did anyone else notice pen's little smile when he said that?? i'm LOSING IT

omg this kiss scene sent me into literal orbit holy shit

the first time i saw this scene i straight up cried bc i relate to pen so much so... that was fun lol

the emotional range this scene has is fantastic. pen's desperation and plea to colin, her finally admitting to something she truly wants and putting herself out there, and getting it back in return instead of disregarded. and the kiss?????? the score, the movement, the emotion; god an absolute 20/10 i've rewatched it countless times and never get tired of it

and colin being absolutely enamored and in love with her instantly once he kissed her??? ROMANCE IS BACK BABY

[tumbrisius]

I think a serious conversation needs to be had about Brutus and Cassius’s problematic behavior.

They conspired to kill Julius Caesar in a discord server. An anonymous member of the server leaked screenshots.

In these screenshots it becomes very obvious that Cassius is gaslighting and manipulating Brutus.

2. Cassius pretended to be Caesars friend to conspire against him. That’s snake behavior. He is a danger to society.

3. Cassius and Brutus came out when it was all over and attempted to convince everyone what they did is for the best.

First, they try to say that they did Caesar a favor by “abridging his time of fearing death.” And I can’t believe that in 44AD I have to say murder is not a favor. But the Cassius and Brutus fangirls totally bought it until Mark Antony came out with his “receipts”

Let’s go through Mark Antony’s clapback together. Right away, it’s very clear that he is attempting to manipulate his viewers, and it’s honestly so disappointing that so many people have fallen for his narrative uncritically.

“If I were dispos’d to stir your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage…” Antony totally downplays himself this entire video and this is manipulation tactic. He’s trying to make himself seem innocent, but he knew that if he said the right things, his fanbase would attack Cassius and Brutus.

“And Brutus is an honorable man.” He says this A MILLION times over!!! He is throwing Brutus under the bus and it’s as subtle as a bull in a pottery shop.

In my personal opinion, this is a horrible misuse of your massive platform.

And then there’s the fabled “Will of Caesar.” Let me ask you something, why did he hesitate to show everyone the receipts he promised???? It took him nearly 15 minutes of baiting the will, and guilt-tripping the audience with reminders of his death before pulling out this generous will of Julius Caesar which just makes him seem like the best person alive.

Or I guess no longer alive.

But my point stands, why build up anticipation and hype if you’re just a poor poor friend of the dearly departed??? Because Antony wanted revenge.

Tbh tho, can anyone blame him? And that’s what brings us to number 4.

4. They ACTUALLY KILLED A MAN. I cannot exaggerate enough that this is not internet drama, they MURDERED someone.

Julius Caesar was a controversial leader, but murder? Death??? Does anyone deserve that?

5. They were PROUD of their murder. Brutus and Cassius expected to be held up as HEROS for what they’d done.

“Had you rather Caesar was living, and die all slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live all freemen?

I’m sorry, WHAT??? To compare Julius Caesar being in power to actual slavery? Caesar was NOT that bad, and it’s such obvious slander but what did the Plebeians have to say in the comments?

Plebeian 1: “Bring him with triumph home unto his house.”

Plebeian 2: “Give him a statue with his ancestors.”

You all have ZERO critical thinking skills. The braindead followers of this “drama” need to get a life and FAST.

And to all of this, we don’t even have a concrete reason that Caesar died, other than that Brutus and Cassius got jealous one day. Disgusting.

In conclusion? This was a trainwreck from start to finish.

Cassius and Brutus should be put behind bars, not put on blast on Twitter.

Mark Antony should be watched much much closely after this. Antony manipulated and weaponized his massive fandom to (rightfully) banish two people from the internet.

Someone normal and uninvolved with this drama should be the next in charge. Maybe that up and coming nephew of Caesar, Octavious I think it was? We have options.

And Roman tea-drinkers???

USE YOUR BRAINS FOR CAESAR’S SAKE!!! CONSUME MEDIA CRITICALLY. GOD.

[smi11ng]

Before session 3

Counseling or therapy

Sabi brief counseling lang for 2 sessions. Is it alright to continue or should i opt for long term kind

Difference between counseling and therapy

Conversations

My current friendships

Martina

Tibs

England

BUT! Before working on my conversation skills, i think, i have a more pressing problem that i need to address.

Fear of taking up space/being seen/low self esteem

I've cried about these past weeks. I feel like no matter what I do. I dont feel enough. I dont feel like I amount to anything. No matter how I strive to be a pretty, thin, academic achiever, and amiable. I still dont like myself. I dont think anyone can look at me and like me. I dont know why I believe that. I would never think about someone else like that.

I think it's unfair to myself to think of myself like that. Even tho the people around me changed, I've changed, circumstances have changed. I'll find myself in the same situations because I dont believe that I have any worth

When i was younger, my parents would be working most of the time. Id see them briefly in the mornings before they go to work. Sometimes, if I was still awake in the evening, I'd also see them. On the weekends too. So, naiwan kami with a distant relative. Siya nag luluto ng food namin, siya gigising ng maaga to help us get ready for school. She would even be the one to discipline us to study.

Idk but i would say that her methods were kinda barbarian. She would hit me and my siblings if we did something she didn't like. Like, a lot of things. I guess that's when I learned to value that stuff because I'd get punished if I didn't do well

So, in school, all I did was study. It became important for me. I was really stuck up. I thought that my way is the best way to do stuff. I found it hard to make friends because I need to go home agad. And I don't think I was pleasant to be around.

It's embarrassing, to be honest, for me, to acknowledge that all these experiences still influence me til today.

I'm so afraid of being seen and existing. It took me a while to get used to going to the gym by myself. At first, I couldn't even walk myself to enter the building. I would cry and be frustrated with myself. Until now, i still get nervous and hesitant doing my routine. I get used to it. It took me almost half a year. A lot of practice.

But I can't seem to do it with people i would be seeing everyday. People i would have more interaction with.

I don't think i have a lot to offer to the world and other people. So, I'm trying to debunk that. I signed up to be a volunteer for an advocacy I care about. I took up responsibilities sa department org namin. These days, I keep thinking that I don't rlly contribute anything much. I don't have great ideas or I don't know many people. But i think, I'll have to give myself credit when credit is due. Showing up is a contribution.

[winderlylandchime]

2/3 Brian tells why he is doing the ride ‘oh shit, that’s why he’s doing it. *he is now tearing up* he can survive it. So basically this ride is his version of that bell that kids in hospitals ring when they beat cancer? Fuck. I really need him to be okay at the very end on the show because i grew really attached and I did not plan on this happening. Go finish the ride Bri Bri! You got this!’ *long pause* ‘even tho i like Mike now, this wouldve been better with Blondie’ ‘JUSTIN! Go on the plane right now! Our man needs you! Can he go home, this is killing me. Ugh Connor. Tell him Justin! You guys are together because you want to be and not because of a fucking wedding. Mhm! My blondie has come along way! Yes, go home! (Justin mentions the offer) COMING BACK? TO WHERE? Shouldnt we maybe talk to Bri Bri about this? Even though since he pretended to not do the ride so he’d go to LA, i feel like he’d do something similar but still. I hate this’ ‘i fucking love Emmett and Ted. They made it to the middle of the ride JUST LIKE ME AT THAT MARATHON! Except I wasn’t participating at all. BUT TWINS!’ ‘they came back to Pittsburgh! Where’s Brian? AHHH JUSTIN IS BACK! FINALLY! Why didnt anyone tell him about the injury! I swear I’m the only one worried about Brian’ ‘where’s Brian? Where’s my baby? It’s dark! SOMEONE FIND BRI BRI! ITS SNOWING AND DARK! (Debbie says she’s starting to get worried) IT TOOK YOU THIS FUCKING LONG?! (She says she was worried 4 hours ago) thats better.’ And the scene with Brian coming is up and he actually is on the verge of tears ‘BRIAN! HE MADE IT! HE FUCKING DID IT! HE CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING! JUST A LITTLE MORE BRI BRI! BLONDIE AND I ARE WAITING! (Brian sees Justin) AHHHH HE SEES BLONDIE! HES DOING IT FOR HIM! I JUST KNOW IT! GO BRI BRI! You got this! *he jumped up with fists up* GO BRIAN!!! YOU GOT THIS BRI BRI! GOOOOO BRIAN!!’ And the baby is shown ‘Jenny rebecca? That’s…i mean it’s..a name. Im not gonna talk shit about a baby…yet’ ‘where the fuck are Brian and Justin? No offense but I was deprived of them the whole episode and apparently unless some changes happen real fucking fast, i will be deprived of them again because of fucking LA, so put them on the TV now because Bri Bri has some news to share about his big boy feelings’ Deb turns down the engagement ‘oh shit..okay I get Debbie. It makes sense. I support it *makes a fist* ALLY! *pauses tv and looks at me* yo, did mom and dad ever talk to you about kids and marriage? (I tell him kinda) good, nice (i ask him if they ever talked to him) nope, except one time when I made a joke about having a kid, both of them at the same time screamed don’t. (Narrator note: the whole family knows that when it comes to marriage he’s very much like Brian about it but only for himself, for others he’s obsessed with it)..maybe i should surprise them and as a joke get married in vegas.’ And the hospice scene is up and they just revealed the name change and he is again teary eyed ‘Vic. I miss him so much, he has a house named after him! BRIAN DID THAT? Of course Brian did that. Why am i even surprised? God he has changed so fucking much since season 1. I mean not in the caring about friend’s department, the only change there is that he does it a bit more loudly now. But everything else? Huge change. I hate that the cancer had to happen for it but fuck it, i guess’ ‘what is he doing in the club? I thought he was broken? What? VIC! *starts tearing up again* LOOK AT BRIAN SMILING AT VIC. HE WILL HAVE A LOT MORE YEARS THAN THAT! So was Vic his ghost of the past or future?’ And Britin scene is up ‘aw Justin is looking after him. I fucking love this shit. *pauses ep, sits up and looks at me* strap in loser, its time for the big finish! The i love you is coming! I can feel it in my bones!’ *starts ep* ‘awww Blondie is laying on his arm. Fucking adorable, come on now Bri, whisper it to him. THAT ACTOR HAS TO BE A FAKE TOM CRUISE! Please tell me Blondie changed his mind because Brian fell and because Brian will now tell him he loves him. HE HAD TIME TO THINK!’

where the fuck are Brian and Justin? No offense but I was deprived of them the whole episode and apparently unless some changes happen real fucking fast, i will be deprived of them again because of fucking LA, so put them on the TV now because Bri Bri has some news to share about his big boy feelings OH MAN

I am laughing in my office right now (I had to pause responding to these because I had a meeting but I’m in between meetings now) right now about about your brother and marriage and weddings. I love that he’s Brian for himself but really on board for everyone else. That’s really sweet.

And the resolution with Vic is always so lovely. I still wish they didn’t have to kill him off. He could have, you know, talked to Brian about facing death while still being alive.

[xoteajays]

Oh! I did message you in instant messages. I can't always remember who I message someone. And I know that I send long messages that not everyone likes. So there's also that reason too.

Yeah. The High&Low franchise came out eight years ago. So you wish there was more people who still created content for the H&L fandom.

Which is bizarre to me? Because High&Low was a popular franchise when it came out, but now there seems to be nothing for the fandom. Especially because there are similarities between High&Low, Worst and Tokyo Revengers. Pretty boys who are delinquents. [I've only ever seen the Worst crossover movie with High&Low, not even the original series. So I can't comment much on Worst.]

Chimknj also wrote another High&Low story. Well.. There story would be a one shot, a one chapter story. Not that you have to read it. But it is a smutty story between Rocky and his girlfriend (original character) - during the events of the first movie.

And, I think, there is a person who's under the name FireOfJudgment on here. They have H&L stories, and AIB stories too. But I don't know what characters or ships they write for though. In case you may want to search their work. They might be an option for you.

It's best for me to write notes for ideas to stories, and characters, and who knows what else while being involved in the fandom. Because if I try writing when I'm not in any fandom, then my thoughts and ideas... I became fickle and scattered on what I want to write. It's a problem.

Being in a fandom makes me more focused to write for that fandom. If that makes any sense.

I mean.. The color coordination to my characters was accidental for me. Because I tend to go for a specific appearance for my characters, I was very adamant about using those people for my face claims but I wasn't sure for what fandom - and I probably will use them for a lot of other fandoms too. Most likely. But not sure which other fandoms yet though. Anyway. Anyway.. But one person's favorite color is blue, one is orange, and another is red which eventually became their signature colors. So I unconsciously connected them to their respective gangs, which is kinda funny because their personalities actually seem fitting for those gangs too. And since the High&Low cast of characters have been predominantly men, I wanted more female characters involved in the story. But there have been a few things I've been stick on lately.

i am just hella awful at answering my private messages. i’ll be like ‘ill reply to that in a bit’ and then completely forget.

it’s just weird. like fandoms used to stick around for longer and h&l is still relatively recent. like 2016 wasn’t even a decade ago yet! everybody go watch h&l and feel emotions you didn’t expect about a pretty boy gang show. the song ‘break into the dark’ literally got me F*cked Up, everybody go watch the unofficial music video.

i will absolutely go read a smutty fic, that’s half of what i’ve been reading lately anyway. love me an explicit fic. and rocky has grown on me, do really like that dude.

i used to be really good at writing short original stories, but now i find it a bit harder. need that high school inspired brain back. fanfics do come a bit easier for me, but i also second guess myself a lot and some stuff i don’t end up posting or even finishing. which is a shame bc it’s supposed to be a fun hobby. i definitely need a fandom to obsess over or i just go totally blank in the brain.

im so bad at colour coordinating my ocs, i can rarely ever decide on what colour suits them best. idk if anyone’s noticed how many light blue or pink characters i have ahsjdl. my own h&l oc kinda started as an oya oc and then developed into something more and got switched around a bit, i think i’m mostly happy with where she’s at rn tho. im having a lot of fun with her.

h&l is definitely lacking in the female character department. like even the strawberry milk girls don’t get a whole lot of screen time like i thought they would, which is a shame bc i think they’re cool and i love pink. i think naomi got the most screen time out of all the girls and even that wasnt a whole lot. n-e-way yamato’s mum and the bartender lady are, like, definitely gfs tho, that’s my hc.

[haifengg]

Pairing: NanamixGN!Reader

Note: I think I got this ask quite a while ago but due to my hiatus it got postponed a million times. Now that I am slowly coming back and am publishing the bits and pieces I wrote during being away this A-Z is finally leaving my drafts as well.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Given his S/O is a sorcerer as well I think he would limit PDA at work to a minimum. Even if they are officially together or even married. He just likes to separate work and home. Tho it doesn’t mean that he is not making small intimate gestures at work like randomly dropping in with coffee or - when they are on a mission - sending a text asking how they are doing.

At home he is pretty affectionate. Randomly pulling them in for a hug, giving small back rubs when they are doing the dishes after he cooked. This kind of thing.

B = Before (What were they like when they had a crush?) Distant. Nanami would probably be a person who maybe actually mistakes the feeling for some other emotion at first. Leaving him confused about why he thinks about them so much. The poor man would likely be irritated every time they are nice to him. Why the heck doesn’t his heart stop pounding? And why is he suddenly excited to go to work? Disappointed when he is not assigned the same mission as them? Or - if they aren’t a sorcerer - sad when a mission takes him away from wherever he met them for too long?

C = Confession (What was their confession like?) Well-planned and straight forward. Nanami was already observing them for a while before making a move. Although he doesn’t actually confess it is pretty obvious when he likes someone because it happens so rarely. Just imagine him asking someone out for dinner. That gives away so much - don’t you agree?

D = Date (What was the first official date they went on?) If we don’t count the dinner mentioned above … I guess it would be something like a gallery. Nanami would definitely want to test his s/o’s taste in art because it tells a lot about a person’s character. What kind of art they prefer (paintings, photography, sculptures, … ) and how they look at it as well.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Professionally. He would state the fact on why they aren’t compatible anymore and what made him draw this conclusion. I don’t think either one of them would cheat on the other mainly because Nanami wouldn’t get into a relationship with someone capable of doing that in the first place (I hope). He would sit down with his (not) s/o and talk it through. There might be tears on the other side but not on his. He thought about it a lot and made peace with his feelings before starting this conversation.

F = Fights (What would fights look like? What are things that upset them?) Kento barely looses his temper. And if he does I wouldn’t say that it is necessarily a bad thing. Getting him so worked up about something does only mean he cares. Fights would mostly be on the calmer/diplomatic side. He might be upset about something but there is no need for him to yell or anything. If the problem can be resolved just by talking about it - great! Why waste his precious energy on negative things, when he can use them elsewhere?

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) We all know - and all those rough sm*t fan fictions can’t proof me wrong - that he probably is the most gentle character in entire JJK. He despises the violence of his job therefore he doesn’t want to inflict pain or anything on anyone on his good side. Especially his S/O. Nanami has the most gentle touch, fleeing kisses, he will hold them tight but never smother them.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) As mentioned above: Tight and secure. Or soft. His S/O almost automatically buries their face in the crook of his neck because - who wouldn’t. Is there anything else I have to say about hugs by Nanami Kento? Yes. Am I able to put it into words? No. It’s just a very overwhelming feeling - that’s all.

I = Intimacy (What is their favorite form of intimacy? Do they have problems with it?) For him I think it would be things where they take care of him. While he shows his love through cooking and providing (which he takes a lot of pride from), he loves being taken care of as well. Maybe in departments he doesn’t know so much about. Like skincare. If his S/O teases him about his wrinkles and stern look he would gladly accept any advice in skincare from them, let them do their magic with face massages and serums. He doesn’t even care if it has any effect on his skin - he just loves the attention he gets and thrives on the feeling how much his S/O cares about him (and his skin apparently).

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) This one I am really indecisive about. I can see him get more jealous that we would expect him too - which would be a nice surprise tbh. But also not jealous at all because he is confident. Kento knows what his S/O likes about him and he also knows what separates him from other men. What makes him special. I think the times he gets jealous are the days he doesn’t get to spent with his S/O because of work or a mission. Which rather results in being mad at Jujutsu Tech than jealous of someone else.

K = Kisses (Are they a good kisser? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Forehead. Kisses. It doesn’t matter what height there S/O is. It is one of the most protective gestures and he enjoys giving those as much as his S/O enjoys receiving them.

The back of the hand cheesy kisses. Because they are his everything, he wants to treat them like it. Nanami knows it’s cheesy but neither one of them thinks too much about it. When they sit across the table, fingers sloppily interlocked on the table top, he occasionally picks up their hand and places a soft kiss on the back of it. Almost absent-minded.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) He is not very fond of them. Not saying that he won’t love and do everything for his own kids but other people’s kids are usually a nuisance for him. If they are loud or misbehaving he is really not having it. Though he would never lash out or raise his voice against them/their parents. ��Children’ as in ‘his students’ … he always makes sure to treat them as children in a way he wants them safe/won’t put them in unnecessary danger.

M = Messages (How often do they text his S/O?) Kento strikes me as a kind of guy who doesn’t text often. Mostly because in his line of work sharing attention could easily be his downfall or worse. He will let his s/o know if he’s running late or occasionally ask if there is anything they need from the store or things like that but aside from practical messages he doesn’t text much.

Though if he is on a long mission and away from his s/o for quite a time span he usually rather calls them than text.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights as in ‘Nights Out’? Date nights? Well, he is a foodie so dinner is always a popular option. He takes the time to carefully research about the restaurant and the menu. If the rotate dishes, he will make sure they’re going at the exactly right season to get the best culinary experience possible.

Nanami is old fashioned. So he will hold the door for them, pull back the chair … helps them into their coat.

He also likes going to the movies. The intimacy of the dark theatre gives him the confidence to reach out for their hand or have his arm around their shoulder. Since he usually limits PDA in public this is exciting for him.

O = Opinion (Would they ask for their S/O’s opinion a lot? How important is it in terms of decisions?) Probably more than I would expect him too. Maybe not about the smaller things but decisions that involve the both of them he would definitely ask.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Due to the time he spends exposed to Gojo this man has the patience of a saint. Literally. He rarely snaps at his S/O.

Q = Quizzes (How does a bar trivia night teamed up with them look like?) Stressed. Yes, this man in very educated and cultured but imagine him sitting in a loud-ass bar, having to answer questions about the transformers or Megan Thee Stallion. Absolutely absurd. How old he must feel …

R = Remember (How much do they remember about their S/O or their relationship in general?) Not everything but a lot. He will remember little things they mentioned early on in the relationship and bring it up again later. He also uses this ability for presents and such. As well as in fights. If they think they can outtalk him with something you accusedly said or didn’t say some time ago - I suggest they surrender, because he will remember much better.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Very Protective. I mean yes, he knows that they can stand up for themselves but why should they have to do that if he is around? One of the big perks dating him is that he is who he is and that his presence confuses most people. So he might as well use it. Not so much in a physical way but rather in addressing the people bothering his S/O directly in the typical manner of his.

I think his understanding of being protected equals being taken care of which plays into the skincare thing I mentioned earlier. It is not so much physical procreation from danger but preserving a future together where one cares about the other deeply and only wants their best.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Medium effort. He prepares and researches but he rarely comes up with a new idea. He knows what he likes and his S/O probably does too. His work is so stressful and has close to no repetition so that he enjoys doing the same things on dates over and over. That does not mean it will get boring. Because Nanami sometimes thrives on going the extra mile. There is a restaurant across the country that he really wants to dine at? Buckle up - he is going on a vacation. Short trips or spa weekends are also things he appreciates.

Since he remembers dates and anniversaries well he is usually well prepared for those occasions. He puts a lot of thought into presents and barely ever gifts useless things. He does not like to have a lot of stuff laying around so what he gives to people usually serves a purpose.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a S/O?) Literally everything I mentioned above. Namai Kento is a unique mix of all his traits. A very balanced person.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Well … he wears the same freaking suit everyday so … but yes I think cares about his looks and hygiene in general. As far as clothing goes he probably has one brand he is loyal too, which automatically sets his fashion style in stone as well. He has the same haircut for quite a while and sees no point in changing it.

Overall just the classic hetero dude who ones figured out what works for him and stuck with it. lol.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their S/O? Yes. His S/O is the other side of him. Is what balances his inner peace. Without them he worries too much, stresses too much. He needs them to tell him it’s going to be okay.

X = X-Ray (How transparent are they?) Nanami doesn’t actually tells them everything but will disclose if they ask. He just doesn’t think they are interested in small details about him.

Y = Yuck (Everyone has flaws. What is theirs?) He. Doesn’t. Do. The. Dishes.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Kento never lets go of his S/O. Which can be annoying. And suffocating. Especially in summer. He is not clingy and they don’t fall asleep like this but in the morning he always spoons them or weirdly holds their hand. Sometimes toes interlocked lmao. Which makes them even more lonely when they are apart, because they got used to it way too quickly.

@kpopsnowball @soleilsuhh @jeonghanmoon @himitsu-luna

@sagedevans @shampoocifer @your-consulting-fangirl @gwynsapphire​

MASTERLIST

[supercorp-hosie]

My thoughts for Legacies 315:

1) for the Star Wars, I have no knowledge about it, I saw some parallels of characters after the episode, it seems accurate, but I still have no idea why Hope’s characters in it didn’t even have a backstory or name lmao. I’m just overall unfazed;

2) the background of the trio and Alaric! There are like so much to address and I don’t know how to fully share my thoughts in-depth organisedly. I’ll try;

3) facts first: so it’s canon that Lizzie’s mental problem is diagnosed at earliest 11, but specific time unknown;

4) Jed activated his curse earliest at 11, since Lizzie had a crush on him for two weeks. I mean who would’ve thought that, common headcannons seem to incline on Josie x Jed tho😂. That just doesn’t randomly cross my mind🤣. Anyway, it doesn’t deny that Jed and Josie could be a thing too, since the twins often have the tendency to crush on the same person? I’m feeling like 60% of the time? I mean they obviously have the same preferences for LI, bad girl or bad boy type, anyone? Rafael, Sebastian, Jed, Jade, Penelope, Hope, Finch. They kind of have this thing with new people to their lives, for Josie, Rafael, Finch, Jade(it’s arguable but I think people tend to have a whole new lens when reconnecting with a disappeared person in your life for years when you’re very young. The perspectives are not the same, like you’re meeting a new person especially you don’t really know them before);

5) especially Lizzie, she definitely has a thing for new people that seems like bad boy/girl. I emphasised on the new people here bc I don’t think ethan is exactly that type, it’s just how Lizzie imagine him to be in that AU. Raf, Sebastian, Ethan....(maybe Jed was new when she crushed on him too, who knows), more specifically, it’s Strangers to Lovers trope for her romance department, so she can imagine as much as she wants and have the wildest dreams (bgm intended). Maybe Josie’s it’s not as much like this considering we don’t know how Posie happened, and with Hope her crush is canon when she was 12, but we don’t know how long exactly the crush was and when did it started, I just have to count that not being new person into her life. But I do get that why Josie said Lizzie always get the boy/girl Josie crushed on too, mostly they have the same type and preferences. Though they can randomly blurt out characters that we all don’t even know as more solid examples.;

6) Alaric and the fact of him being quite an absent father since the twins were 11 is solid canon. I understand the need to care for Hope because the world can’t afford a tribrid went uncared for and went around killing people, but still, the different perspectives of Hope and Lizzie to Alaric are very sad. To think that your father would betray you for another child, is very sad, even for Lizzie, the more dramatic one. So I understand that Caroline wasn’t there for the twins either, another absent parent. About the mother figure being diminished here, I’ll address it in another point. What’s left for Lizzie? Josie.

7) So basically Josie had to handle herself and Lizzie’s all by her own? That’s very hard! My BFF is bipolar, we are not living together, but before, my whole situation [for being in love with her + her situation] had really been hard for me too. I couldn’t imagine what’s it’s really like for Josie. (Another point that I need to address is the real mental problem that Lizzie has) Sure Alaric might not always be absent, but the intensity of Lizzie’s perspective begs to differ. Josie had to understand what is Bipolar at a very young age; had to be there for Lizzie when she had her outburst; had to be the one constantly check on Lizzie whether she had taken her meds; had to digest the emotion impacts from Lizzie after the outburst; had to understand how Lizzie functioned when she was down. None of that are easy, and there’s no one there to ask of what Josie really feels. How Josie pent out? What does she need? Josie might feel the need to be not wanting things and always be good so that she can get the love from Alaric (I remember in season 1, Josie felt the need to lose the game to get on Alaric good side) . So she just started to suppress her voice and her needs, because Lizzie need them the most. Over time or years of suppressing in front of her dearest family, she most likely felt unneeded by her parents, and forgettable to her parents(the girl that’s so quiet that her parents forget about her, the girl that Penelope won’t fight for anymore). She needed to feel needed, so she just let Lizzie take all of her, from whom she felt needed the most. So all of these from Josie’s perspectives, it started a vicious cycle for the twins. And leads to how the twins dynamics and how Josie are in present days. But her problem was never solved, they just accumulated day by day, year by year, leaving the good and dark side from Josie being so separated and unbalanced. The inner turmoil is always there. These lead to the extreme polarity of Josie’s good and bad side. When she’s doing bad, Josie would be especially aggressive than she needed to be because that’s an instinct to compensate the lack of action before. After long suppression, once being released, the instinct would be stronger than usual and harder to get it under control. Under the influence of dark magic, Dark Josie felt like another personality inside Josie here to take over the whole Josie and protect their interests that true Josie are neglecting. Kind of like dissociative identity disorder but not really it?? It’s just an understanding that I’ve been wanting to express, but so hard to organise it, because it’s so complex. By this understanding, I do still think that Josie should still be held accountable for her actions, even when dark magic was influencing her, like even people with mental health illness should be instituted and lost their freedom. I just think that it’s not fair to think she’s straight up very evil and do nothing good for people. It’s not like she’s being dark for no reason at all. This just mean that the dog that doesn’t bark can be more harmful than people think. These doesn’t mean that when Josie goes dark, she doesn’t deserve any leniency at all while holding her accountable. (And it’s not like she’s not beating herself up for most of the things she had done) Oh and sure, Josie should do the healthy way of voicing out these needs and all, to encourage a healthy dynamics between them like she’s the only healthy one between them, but still the problem is, they both lack the environment and guidance to make a healthy working relationship between themselves. How could they know what is healthy when the environment was already lack thereof.

8) Reading Lizzie’s diaries is bad, I understand, because you literally need to understand what leads to what, to gain control when your life is a chaos, but still. It’s even worse when you have that need to confide in another person to get things out wrongly. (I was having a phone call during the diary sharing review, but this is what I vaguely get) a) Josie is confiding the contents very specifically to another person that Hope can somehow reconstruct a sequel to it? b) Josie chose the wrong place to confide it since when she gets emotional, people can probably hear what was shared. At least from what I guess I got, it isn’t stated that she spread it to the whole school nor it was spread to the whole, even if that’s the case, it may not be on purpose, and she chose the wrong person to confide in. Like about the reveal in 112, she made up that Hope talking bad about Lizzie to the whole school, but it doesn’t mean that she spread it nor the whole school actually knows. Another case is, even if the school knows, it could easily be known by any passerby to Lizzie outburst and spread in the school. From what we saw from 101, the kitchen is a public space, the utensils and cutleries breaking should be very alarming, and there are students with intensified senses in the school. By that fact itself, it doesn’t really help Lizzie in being discreet of her illness. Still, sharing your sister’s diaries after reading it is really bad. But I do get that, sometimes you really need to talk to someone that know some of the situation but don’t really know the person in question to recalibrate yourself. But that person have to be like the dead end of all school gossip but not close to Lizzie, so it can do no harm (because he/she/they literally have no use to talk to someone with all these, usually there’s this no name policy, but with Lizzie being her sister, it’s useless hiding, maybe) when you disclose something related to her pertaining your own issues. Josie should apologise for sharing Lizzie diaries, even if Hope was not meant to know that, despite her werewolf hearing. For the reading part, did we get the apology tho? I guess we had? If negative, apologies needed.;

9) From Lizzie perspective, we can see her does Josie wrong but didn’t apologise either. Like Lizzie being princess but Josie being her android, personalised valet? It just showed that during that period of time(specifically from when until when tho, that’s a question), after what Josie had been enduring, taking care of her, Lizzie thought of herself being princess but didn’t actually think Josie as her equal? Like how the Android was programmed to bow to Lizzie? That’s just the habit of the twins dynamic showing, also partly Josie mistake, but Josie does deserves to be perceived as more than that, even when she’s derogatory to herself, Lizzie should uphold that for her. Their dynamics is just sad because it’s not entirely the twins fault, it’s also due to the absent parents in the household, they didn’t know better, they can only depend on each other. They’re orphaned like Hope in a way when their parents are still present. Even though they have privileges as Alaric’s daughters, but that doesn’t help with their real situation. This is just a perfect example of how your family shaped you, but we can still fight to shape ourselves after the power that our parents have over us gradually diminished, like how they’re starting to shape themselves more now as they’re coming to age.

10) What really warms me from the Android situation, despite Josie feeling like she’s being degraded the whole time, a subject to Lizzie, is that from how Josie is the combination of two Androids, also shows that how Lizzie actually looked up to Josie. Maybe it’s not addressed, but I see that. For Lizzie, Josie can really do so much things for her, take care of her so closely that Lizzie can count Josie as her personal valet. Derogatory, yes, but that place is also very important to prince and princess, bc they can literally do nothing to take care of their daily lives themselves well, like Merlin for Arthur (I mean the actions, not the presumably romantic relationship). Without Merlin, Arthur life is a mess! And the knowledge for Android part, it means that in Lizzie’s mind, Josie actually is like the person who knows everything😂 usually that figure should be our parents😭, but for Lizzie, it’s Josie, like she knows the answer to all. It’s sad and warming at the same time. Just more appreciation will do! And the fact that the special sword that they’re finding the whole time was in Josie’s thigh, just show how the trust that Lizzie had in Josie, not even their parents can triumph it, because Josie was the one being there the whole time. So they really deserves each other despite all the shitty things they have done to each other.

11) about Lizzie mental illness, I was recommended a post informing people about how Legacies fucked up Lizzie’s illness. After my own research, I do agree with the OP, I think that Lizzie situation is more like borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar, but that doesn’t make the whole situation easy. I can provide the table I made the next time regarding that.

12) Hope being Lizzie’s villain is really fitting, lmao, the intensity of Alaric care for Hope is so much that even Lizzie thought that Alaric would betray the twins for Hope.

13) I like Hope’s look. Josie being the Android that malfunction sometimes is funny too, especially when Josie is angry the whole time, cuz it’s infuriating too🤣🤣

14) Hope and Josie during Lethan kiss is me. How they’re totally in the same team when Lizzie being like that? Hosie are both wary of their characters and backstory? Hosie rights. Hhhhhh, oh Hope might be jealous of Ethan😂 Hizzie rights.

15) Another Hizzie rights, Hope wrote a sequel to Lizzie fanfic. And..... is Hope officially a nerd too???? I can’t! Hhhhh but maybe not, or else Hope would have known who she was.

16) Lizzie says, maybe deep down I still feel that you’re the chosen one (IN HER OWN STORY)

17) Younger Hope kind of break my heart more. It’s so sad😭😭 how she’s in denial of their parents death, and blame it on herself.....no baby. How Hope just have to tell herself all that again. And about Hope being scavenger, I think it’s fitting too. Her life, like the twins, is in pieces too. She had to pick them up herself, and build a world where her heart and hope can rest safely, and that just make her not mad at Josie burning down her room gayer. She was so closed up to herself that her room is like another world for her. So forgiving Josie just because of her crush, is like Josie and her crush on Hope meant the world to her???? Hosie rights! Anyway, Josie still messed up with that.

18) Having Younger Hope saying those things to Josie, oh my heart! Josie is a protector for Hope! Hosie rights! And Hope knowing the truth to stop Lord Marshall! Malivore, and Josie just stop talking because she doesn’t want to encourage Hope to die😍😍 Younger Hope actually wants to be best friends with the twins!!!!

19) Hope literally just stop growing taller after 12/13 like I did, is fact! And I’m comforted by that, sorry not sorry, lmao!

20) For real I don’t understand why Hope is suddenly full tribrid at the end. When she fights with Malivore.

21) The gun fight and sword fight is so weird! It’s like the gunners don’t know how to shoot at all, like they’re in slow motion, difficultly level easy to the audience, it’s so fake. I’m for Hope being badass, but it seems like the show doesn’t know how to portray a good fight scene. The sword fight is like in slow motion. And if Hope is to combine magic with sword fighting, she should combine them more. I don’t feel she’s badass at all, cuz it’s literally level easy😑

22) Star Wars AU have brought up so many childhood unresolved for the trio to understand each other more and be a better team. I love them ended up being all supportive and the panda promise🤣🤣 I love that the twins just agree not to let Hope die like that. But they’re like promise that a little later than Cleo and Landon? My team Sowanby! Applause to Handon, but please don’t be together again! Strike three, no is no!

23) for MG, Jed, Kaleb, they really need to make up with each other, I’m glad that they finally made it. And Kaleb being jealous of Methan? Lmao! And MG didn’t even say Ethan name? I love Maleb bonding, and MG never left his man behind!! Another things is, what’s wrong with those boys fighting scenes? We saw them throwing valuables to distract the monster again?! What if the keys are damaged? How are you going to go home? Oh and Jed being useful!

24) Jed last name is Tien, 田/填 in Chinese, I’ve shared enough in my other post. But still WE DONT ACTUALLY HAVE JED FIRST NAME! Give us that!

25) Still, I don’t understand how the wendigo is not dead yet. And how come it’s defeated by fire this time??

26) I don’t quite actually know what’s happening with Dorian. Is he okay? I bet he is, so Emma is coming back, right? Based off what the conversation is? We need Emma, really.

27) regarding Emma, is the lack of mother figure that I want to address when stating the twins dynamic. I don’t actually know a lot from TVD or TO, I just happen to know some general things and snippets from edits. But I know Hayley’s words before she dies, like “I’m not going to teach my daughter it’s okay to let people she loves die” and paint art, have at least one epic love? But for real, in legacies, all I get for Hayley is 103, Josie paying her respects, but none other than that. It’s all Klaus. I believe that Hayley is an important figure to Hope too. But she’s not mentioned enough, it’s kind of erasing her impact on Hope?? Like Caroline too, we get her phone calls, the twins trip to Europe to treat their problems off-screen, the letter for Lizzie in 302, the recommendation for Lizzie to go to the witch retreat, but not vetted by Alaric.....yes she get all these and Jo Laughlin being there in 106 (I cried so hard). But still the mother figure is still being minimised. Like in Lizzie’s fanfic there’s never a place for Caroline? How surreal? It doesn’t make sense. (I understand the actress is just not returning). But still these doesn’t change the fact that the show is lacking a mother figure as a whole. Emma should be that.

28) Clarke!!! Like it’s predictable! But what’s unpredictable is that he went straight to shower🤣🤣🤣 I love his snarkiness! Clarke meeting Hope half naked! Holarke! Hhhhhh

I’m too tired, sharing this episodes thoughts is exhausting me. There must be something I left out, please feel free to remind me!

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[impossiblelibrary]

Today's rant brought to you by: Queer Eye Japan, can we all just try to be as kind as they try to be?

After watching the Queer Eye Japan super short season, I wanted to google to see the overall reaction to the show, make sure that my western eyes were correct in seeing the care that was given to the culture. Were cultural taboos, other than being outwardly gay, crossed? So I find this article in the top results and other than the perspective, why tho? Tokyoesque.com had an article with a higher reading level, with surface level appreciation but at least better written.

I can't get over this hate article though. Unfounded, dumb, wrong and incorrect. Do not go forward unless you like that blistering kind of anger from me.

But the reasons just get weaker as the article extends: "Hurts the country it set out to save?" Looking for white savior much? They did not go to save Japan, they gave some free shit to like 4-5 people, think smaller.

Their culture guide wasn't gay enough.

You want to suggest any lgbt insta models or celebrities, use your platform to raises some up?

"There is a growing sexless culture in Japan for married and unmarried people, and it is perilous watching Queer Eye present this without any context behind what is driving this behavior."

Sexiness is what the fab 5 embrace, unfortunately and it was probably discussed behind the scenes of how much talking about sex was allowed or polite and the conversation of not having sex is closer to the tip of the tongue rather than the feeling of sexiness. The West is not the ones blasting that information. It is across multiple Japanese printed newspapers and online stories by now and the "context" is still being discussed and debated amongst Japanese. So I don't think any outsiders should be weighing in or "explaining" this phenomenon. We can repeat what we have been told but guessing at the reasons is not our place. The reasons illustrated by the author of the article seem lacking, a take but not the only one, but who am I to speak on that being in a sexual relationship with someone who pulls from that culture?

Kiko begins to lecture Yoko-san on how she “threw away her womanhood” (referring to a Japanese idiom, onna wo suteru) by going makeup-free and wearing drab, shapeless clothes.

The mistranslation by the subtitles fixed by this author was necessary information. But Kiko didn't lecture her on it, it was brought up by Yoko before any of them arrived, that was her theme, that was what she had decided to focus on. Meanwhile, if you watched Jonathan, he understood there was no time to spend on makeup and skincare so provided her a one instrument, 3 points of color on the skin to feel prettier. That and the entire episode being the 5 treating her like a woman on a date, not trying to hook her up, which is what they did in American eps.

"In teaching a Japanese woman, who already struggles to find time for herself, how to make an English recipe, Antoni is making great TV and nothing more."

So Antoni shouldn't have taught her apple pie because it's too exotic for a Japanese woman. (Can you smell the sexism?)

He didn't make an apple pie, altho Yoko did mention her mother made that for her when she was a kid. He made an apple tartine after going to a Japanese bakery who makes that all the time. Then highlighted the apples came from Fuji in true Japanese media fashion. Honey, American television doesn't usually highlight where the ingredients come from. A Japanese producer told him to do that. So all worries handled within the same ep. She got Japanese ingredients, had the recipe shown to her and then made it for her friends in her own house. Did the author actually watch this show or nah?

"beaten over the head with his western self-help logic. “You have to live for yourself,” he says."

The style of build up the 5 went for was confrontational but in a "I'm fighting for you" way. It's hard to describe, but the best I can say is, a person has multiple voices in their head, from parents, siblings, society, and maybe themselves. By being loud and obnoxious, American staples right there, they are adding one more voice. You deserve this, you are amazing, you are worth it. I know this is against most Japanese cultural modesty, but maybe it shouldn't be.

Sarcasm lies ahead:

Apparently: mispronunciation is microaggressions, not just someone who had a sucky school system. Yea okay, They're laughing at the language not at how stumbling these monolinguals are with visiting another country. Mmhm. Japanese don't say I love you and don't touch and that should stay that way instead of maybe, once in awhile, feeling like they can hug. Yeah, let's just ignore Yoko's break down that she had never hugged her lifelong friend after hugging strangers multiple times. Maid cafes are never sexualized in Japan ever, just don't go down that one street in Akihabara where the men are led off by the hand sheepishly blushing. Gag me. And Japanese men love to cry in front of their wives and would never break down once the wife leaves. I have never seen a Japanese movie showcase that move. Grr.

"I identify as many cultures."

So you're a Japanese man when it's convenient for you to get an article published? Are you nationally Japanese or just ethnically or culturally?

Homeland is an inherently racist word?

"After the Bush administration created the Department of Homeland Security after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a Republican consultant and speechwriter Peggy Noonan urged, “the name Homeland Security grates on a lot of people, understandably. Homeland isn’t really an American word, it’s not something we used to say or say now.”

Yes, let's use a Washington Post article rather than a etymology professor. Yes, the google search results increased after 2001 Homeland Security was used but the word has been around since the 1660s and I've read multiple turn of the century lit on white people returning to their homeland, i.e. the town off the coast they were born in.

"But" is not disagreeing. I think the repeated offender for the author is the not acknowledging the makeover-ees feelings. But, that is how LGBT have decided to deal with the inner voices that invade from society. They are just that, not our own, they are the influence of society, and we can choose, we have to choose, to be influenced by someone, anyone else.

Karamo can't speak about being black when an Asian is speaking about being Asian, even though the Asian gay man was feeling alone. It's called relating bitches, and I'm done with people saying that is redirecting the conversation, it's extending the conversation. That's how we talk, the spotlight is shared, especially when someone's about to cry and doesn't want to be seen as crying, time to turn the spotlight.

The gay monk wasn't good enough, you should have invited the gay politician.

Yeah, causes I'm sure a politician has all the time in the world for a quick stint and cry. They picked a Japanese monk who travels to NY because they had a guest who travels to the West too. Did you want him to stop traveling back and forth? Did you want a pure, ethnic and cultural Japanese gay man who has no ties to the west to talk to this Western educated young man? Seriously?

This is just not how it works in Japan.

Being in a multi-cultural marriage between two rebels, discussions on facets of culture are plenty in my household. Culture should be respected enough to be considered but not held on a pedestal like we should never adjust or throw some things out. LGBT being quiet and private for instance. "Being seen" was Jonathan's advice, and a good one especially for a Japanese gay man that was called feminine since he was a kid. Some gay men can hide, but as Jonathan said, he couldn't hide what he was, he couldn't hide this. So fuck it. Don't hide. It's actually more dangerous for a feminine man to come off as anxious rather than gay and proud. It makes you more of a target if they think you won't fight back. Proud means, Imma throw hands too, bitch.

This is also from the civil rights playbook going back to Black America: never hold a protest or a fight without the cameras, without being seen. LGBT have found the more seen they are, in media, in the streets, the better off we are. When LGBT Americans were being "private" about our lifestyles, we died, a la 1980s. They won't care if you start dying off if they never saw you to begin with.

And hence why I think the author's real anger is from these 5 being seen dancing flamboyantly in Shibuya, in Harajuku, afforded the privilege of doing this safely because of their tourist status, cameras and very low violence rate in Tokyo, loud and obnoxiously. Honestly, they wouldn't have been invited or nominated if they didn't want that brash American-ness coming into their home, just for a taste, at least.

Here's my real anger, my own jealousy: Japan's queer community currently does not have marriage or adoption rights. US does, so we have progressed further. But we are also not that many years from being tied to cow fences with barbed wire, beaten with baseball bats and left for dead overnight. If things are so bad over there, maybe take a few pages from the civil right playbook we took so much time to perfect and produced by the Black Americans who fought first. But so far, I only hear loss of jobs and marriages, which we still have here too. Stop trying to divide us, we are one community, LGBT around the world and we are here to try to help. Take it or leave it, it's not like we're going to go organize your own Pride parade for you.

Rant over? I guess. Is this important enough to be put in the google results along with his. Hell no, anyone with half a mind can see he's reaching more than half the time. And any argument about: this wasn't covered! There are a shit ton of conversations that are not covered in the 45 min they have. They are not a civil rights show, it's a makeover show, doing their best in that direction anyway. Know what it is.

Next blog post, what research I would guess was happening behind the scenes for each of the 5? I'm pretty sure I saw Jonathan doing Japanese style makeup there...

[holylulusworld]

Past

Summary: Dean finds his perfect mate, only for her to run away from him. When Sam calls her after their last encounter she needs to decide to let her mate die or come to his rescue.

Request: May I request an ABO fic where Dean finds his perfect Omega but she rejects his advances at every turn until he triggers her heat with his rut making him her true mate and even when she's claimed she rejects him for a bit making him go feral until Sam snaps her out of her fear? (you can make up why she's scared). love you, hun!

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam x Omega!Sarah Blake, vamps

Warnings: angst, unrequited feelings, true mates, ABO, ABO dynamics, mentions of abusive past/sexual assault/non-con claiming, physical and mental abuse (nothing graphic)

A/N: Omega!Sarah Blake is the Sarah Blake from the show, but in a different role

Runaway Mate Masterlist

Funny how your past is catching up with you, tries to break you with little reminders.

While you watch Dean sit in his car to wait for his brother you let your eyes wander over it. He had a classic car too, but it didn’t look like Dean’s. 

It was dirty, rusty and you hated to sit in it but seeing the Impala made you think of him and you felt pain shoot through the scar at your neck.

You know it’s impossible, you know there is no way he can be here, can go after you but still, your heart is racing. 

With shaking fingers, you dial Sarah’s number to hear a familiar voice but for the first time, she doesn’t answer.

Dialing her number again you get up from the steps in front of your room and Dean is alerted. Your heart beats fast enough to jump out of your chest as you dial her number for the third time.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Shaking you look at Dean as he gets out of the car to run toward you. “Y/N, talk to me, Sweetheart.”

“I…we have an emergency signal or rather we always answer our phone, no matter what we do at the third signal, Dean. I dialed her number three times, but Sarah does not answer.” 

Your voice trembles and for the first time, Dean can see the vulnerable and scared Omega shine through. 

“Okay, tell me where she wanted to go to. We will check there first and Sam can try to trace her phone.” Dean runs toward his car, dialing his brothers’ number as you try to reach your friend once again.

Black…everything is black before the pain wakes Sam from the darkness. He can smell blood, dirt, and fear as he tries to blink his eyes open.

“You’re awake…” Coughing a young woman looks at him, fighting the shackles holding her to the ground. 

“You’re a hunter too, I assume, just like the girl over there. She told me to remain calm, but they knocked her out as she refused to tell them anything about someone called Y/N.”

Sam’s eyes wander toward Sarah. He can see blood running down her forehead, but she’s breathing. 

While the skilled hunter scans the room he recognizes two things, his shackles will not hold him for long and the girl looking at Sarah’s bleeding wound is a vampire.

“She told you…” Sam’s eyes are trained on your friend to make sure she’s still breathing.

While the vampire studies Sam’s stoic face the hunter tries fumble with the shackles, already picking the lock holding the chains.

“The hunter, she’s right. You should remain calm and we will find a way out of here.”

“I am so scared.” The vamp’s eyes dart between Sam and Sarah. She knows the moment your friend wakes up she will warn the way stronger hunter and Winchesters are know for not dying that easily. “What can we do?”

“Do you know what they want and who they are?” While the vamp looks at Sarah once again Sam let the chains around his hand slip off his wrists to silently place them behind his back. His feet are still bound but if must, he can take the vamp down.

“I don’t know anything, Sir. They came in here, hit the girl and asked her about the other woman. She refused to answer and then they left.”

Sniffling the vampire looks at Sam. She plays her role well, Sam gives her that, but he is not an easy victim to her sob story. 

“Was that before or after they brought me here?” Searching the girl's face Sam fumbles the syringe with the blood of the dead out of his back pocket. “What’s your name?”

Maggie and it was before they brought you here. She was out cold when two large guys dragged you in and dropped you.” Nodding Sam waits for the perfect moment.

“How long are you here?” While the vamp looks at Sarah steering in her sleep Sam strikes. The syringe bores into the girl’s neck and she screams in pain.

“Hey…are you wake?” Watching your friend Sam frantically searches for the key to his chains. “I am a hunter too. My name is Sam, Sam Winchester and I know Y/N. We met during a hunt.” 

“Sammy doesn’t answer his phone…” Slamming his hands onto the steering wheel Dean curses. “This is not a coincident, Y/N. Sam and your friend disappearing at the same time in the same town.”

“I am sorry, Dean. I guess she found me before I had the chance to take her down.” Blinking a few times, you look out of the window. “Or rather them…”

“Them…” Glancing at you Dean stops the car. “What are you not telling me, Y/N? I know you are after mama for a reason but so far, I didn’t ask. If Sam is in danger, I need to know everything.”

“You know I can’t tell about my past, it’s better this way. No one ever wanted to hear my side of the story. For everyone, I was an aggressive Omega not wanting to submit.” Voice bitter you dial Sarah’s number once again. “Every Alpha chose their side…”

“Well, I am not every Alpha not even close.” Giving you a soft smile Dean looks at you. 

“Listen, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened to you. I would never force you to tell me. I have a huge package I carry with me too, Sweetheart, but we are running out of time here.”

“Mama…she’s…” Looking at Dean you search his soft eyes. “I would need to explain everything, but this would take us hours and as you said, we are running out of time, Dean.”

“Just the highlights then. You can leave everything out we do not need to save Sam and your friend, Y/N.” You hesitate, nibble at your lower lip as Dean starts the engine. “Fine, Y/N. I’ll tell you something about me first.”

Dean’s grip on the steering wheel tightens as he starts talking. “I sold my soul to save my brother. I was in hell for 40 years and one day, I broke and started to torture souls too. When I came back I had nightmares, I still have sometimes…”

Surprised by Dean’s honesty you look at him, really look at him and you can see the broken boy behind the tough hunter façade. 

“I lost everyone, Y/N. Mom, Dad, Bobby - anyone I ever liked died or left me except for Sammy, and he just doesn’t know better…” Huffing you try to swallow the lump in your throat as you look at anything but Dean. 

“At the beginning, I thought it’s my fate as an Omega. I believed that I just need to get used to that someone rules my life, tells me what to do or leave but slowly, I doubted being an Omega means what my life became.”

Dean’s heart clenches in his chest hearing the hurting in your voice. He wants to say something, wants to soothe the pain but he knows you are not ready to let him help you.

“All I can tell you is that one night, he tried to kill me, and I fought him. It ended badly…for him.” Your face is stoic, but your voice betrays you. 

“I get it, Y/N. He was a monster but what I don’t understand is that you hate all Alpha’s only as one treated you badly. This is no excuse for his behavior or what he did to you, tho…” 

Dean dials Sam’s number again, still ending on his brother’s mailbox he tosses the phone into the glove department.

“One Alpha…” Laughing bitterly you glance at Dean. “It started with my brother and father selling me to this monster. Or rather making a deal to rise in the ranks.”

“Y/N…” Gasping Dean tries to remain calm but the anger welling up is untamable. “I am so sorry.”

“I trusted them with my life. Till that day, they protected me, made sure no one ever hurts me. My father, he never treated my mother like she’s not equal as she’s an Omega and then one day…”

Snapping your fingers you look at Dean. “Poof, the gentle and caring family was gone.”

“I…” Voice cracking Dean blinks the tears away. 

“At first, he was nice. Asking me about hobbies and shit but then he…” Sniffling you look away. Rather concentrate on the trees passing by than Dean’s sad face. “He forced his mark on my neck and everything else too…”

“Omega…” A low whine leaves Dean’s lips as he gives you side-glances. He can see the tremble of your hands and the pain tightening your chest.

“When he was done, he left for days or weeks and I prayed he won’t come back. Every. Single. Time.” Dean’s eyes drift toward you occasionally while you keep on talking. “One night, he…he crossed another line, or rather wanted to and I lashed out.”

“I won’t ask what he tried to do…”

“I was able to avoid getting pregnant and he assumed, I am infertile, Dean. That night he brought a young girl into our home or rather my prison. I saw the fear in her eyes and just knew, he would force her too…” 

Sniffling you wipe the tears away. “I tried to call the cops, told them what my Alpha is about to do but…” Laughing bitterly you shrug. 

“None of the Alpha’s believed you,” Dean asks and you shake your head.

“Oh, they believed me, Dean. But they laughed about me and congratulated my Alpha on his decision to get a younger mate.”

“Bastards…” Slamming his hands onto the steering wheel Dean curses. “They should’ve stormed the house. I would’ve done so…”

“I hung up and felt his hands on me. I…I reacted instinctively and pushed him away for the first time, I found the strength to fight back, because of the girl I had to protect. He tried to strangle me, but I was faster.”

There’s a hint of pride in your voice and Dean smirks as you tell him you ran into the kitchen and stabbed him with the cheese knife.

“He ended like a tiny mouse. Begged for his life, Dean and I knew he wasn’t the powerful Alpha I thought he was.” 

“What has mama to do with all of this?” Your eyes meet Dean’s and you know you must tell him everything to save your friend.

“She’s his mother. Her grief about the loss of her perfect Alpha son and the hatred she always harbored toward me forced her to look for a way to kill me.” 

Your features darken as you look at the world outside passing by. “I wasn’t the young and vulnerable eighteen years old girl they threw into the lion’s den. I am a strong and trained hunter, Dean. I killed two of her pack members when they tried to get hold of me.”

“And she did what?” 

“I was not easy to take down, so she thought making her pack stronger would stop me, would bring me down but…” Smirking you give Dean a wink. 

“I was a hunter and knew how to take vamps down. Mama tries to create a new and larger family, but I won’t give her the chance to do so. I will hunt her and every single member of her sick family down.”

“Why did she turn the girl if she supported her son’s abuse?”

“Mama, or rather Delilah believed I lied. I tried to tell her more than once that her son is a monster but she didn’t listen. Mama is after me believing I killed her gentle and caring son.” 

“I will open the door and we will have to fight our way through. I think someone called mama is after us as she wants to get hold of your friend.”

“Mama…shit.” Sarah tries to follow Sam but she still feels dizzy and needs to press her body against the wall. When Sam wants to help she flinches away. “I can follow you, Sam.”

“I didn’t want to cross a line. I just wanted to help you. You’re injured, stay behind me no matter what. A friend of Y/N is a friend of the Winchesters…” Sam silently opens the door only to step into a sewer.

“You are a friend of Y/N?” Not believing Sam your friend eyes him suspiciously. 

“I said she’s a friend, not Y/N sees me as one. I know she has problems trusting Alpha’s, but right now we need to help each other and find my brother and your friend. Dean is with Y/N and I hope he’s on his way as I assume we are running into a whole nest of vamps without any weapon…”

Runaway Mate Tags

@webcraft4eveh, @supernatural3002

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @sandlee44, @strayrosesbloom, @notyourtypicalrose, @thewinchesterco, @marvelfansworld @hobby27, @gh0stgurl, @flamencodiva, @jay-and-dean, @voltage-my2dlove, @spnhollis, @chonisberonica, @wittysunflower, @supernaturalenchanted, @shikshinkwon, @yolobloggers, @hhiggs, @laxe-from-outer-space, @ilovefanfic86, @linki-locks11, @eggingamazinglove, @trumpettay, @fandom-imagines1, @thenamelesschibi, @waywardbaby, @straycuties9, @drakelover78, @stuckys-whore, @zxph-yr, @i-love-superhero, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt, @deepmuffinspymaker, @katsav17, @heyitscam99, @fandom-princess-forevermore, @neii3n, @exo-nova, @cocklesbelli, @echoesofpassion, @lauravic, @shatteredabby, @deanmonandnegansbitch, @sea040561, @lemondropirwin, @lonewolf471, @wronglanemendes, @juniorhuntersam, @helpmeluci, @goodgodimaweirdperson, @shadowkat-83, @alltimesamantha, @officialmarvelwhore, @meganywinchester, @miraclesoflove, @maniacproffesor, @hollymac79, @kayla-2000, @gracefultrenchcoat494, @babygirls-fav, @spnwoman, @amiquette, @alexoloughlinlover32, @geekofmanyforms, @jessica-marsh09, @spnficgirl, @shut-themoonscone, @thequeenreaders, @countrygal17a, @atomicfandombomb, @kteelou, @soryuwifeyxx, @defenderrosetyler, @shortwinchester, @maybesomedaygayyyy, @tmiships4life, @sabascio, @that-place-called-middle-earth, @the-broken-angel-13, @bunnybaby89, @pandabiiissh, @maddiedott, @lilulo-12, @theoneandonlymelol, @mblaqgi, @clawsandshotguns, @justsomedreaming​, @cassiopeia-barrow, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters​, @mscarter213​, @jo-like-josette​, @mep6811​, @prettydeaneyes​, @rvgrsbrns​, @deanwanddamons​, @tearsforhan​, @skittlebittz​, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​ @belovedcherry​

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2​, @supernatural-bellawinchester​, @negans-lucille-tblr​, @deans-baby-momma​, @thefaithfulwriter​, @squirrelnotsam​, @roonyxx​, @neerness​, @deansgirl-1968​, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​, @butifulsoul125​, @lyinginthegingerlocks​, @20gayneen​, @janicho88​, @woodworthti666​, @thevelvetseries​, @dreaminemz​, @akshi8278​, @midnightsilver16830​, @mrspeacem1nusone​, @ria132love​, @caligraphee​, @the-witch-in-silence​, @justanotherwinchester​, @multisuperfandom​, @jason-todd-squad​, @jadesupernatural​, @psychicforest​, @luciathewinchestergirl​, @magssteenkamp​, @palefiregiver​, @tranquility-or-chaos​, @jxackles​, @michellemxndes​, @addictedtofictionalcharacters​, @gabifernandessn​, @waywardrose13​

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the third ep of Hypmic Rhythm Anima (as always, spoilers beware but not only for the anime itself but for future things covered in the Drama CD and the Manga. If you’re an anime only, those are marked with a *)

Right off the bat. Super disappointed that it isn’t a MTC episode. I wanted an MTC episode. :((((

Still got my MTC crumbs this week tho and I think I can hold out until next week which hopefully will give me the MTC episode I so desperately want (Yes, i have a division bias and i’m not afraid to show it)

Jakurai entertaining kids are just so cute. I think its very very precious.

* Also. What kind of doctor is Jakurai anyways? So far we know that he’s a councilor/therapist (helps Doppo w/ his anxiety), a pediatrician (he helped a kid), a family doctor (I think i might be wrong on this one), a surgeon (In the FP vs MTC manga he’s shown preforming surgery), a hitman/assassin (:/ yeah evil line records seems intent on retconning this one), a battle field medic (he’s state to be one during WWIII) and now he’s getting called into the orthopedic (things concerning the musculoskeletal system) and gastroenterology (working w. the digestive system) department, two things that have nothing in common with each other. And I’m sure I’m missing some. There is no way in hell this man can do all that he’s 35 for fucks sake. You’d be old and grey before you could learn and complete the credentials needed to work half of these jobs

Nice to now that theres some hints of jakurai’s past. I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing more of the detective later in the story, esp for Matenrou

Doppo being overworked as usual *sigh*. When will the man ever rest? Never... Though im a bit skeptical as to why one of his co-workers calls him doppo. this is a work environment, usually he’d be called “Kanonzaka” for the least amount of informality. seems sus to me. Though his depiction of his insecurities is nice

I love how his first reaction is to call Hifumi and as him if he’s killed anyone. Peak bromance guys. 

Honestly Doppo’s method of trying to calm down is nice but not at all effective. He has the right mindset of calming down and letting his body breath, but the way he goes about it is... eh. 

Tom and Iris’ argument is hilarious and I really want to see more of them and Rex! Can’t wait to see what happens with these three new characters

Iasdgfjsd;flkasjdflkasdjfkasdlvn ajsdk, MTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

MY BPOYS OH MY GOD RIOU NEVER CHANGE

fsajghasdf i love them asdhfoiksldjfasdfj riou’s food looks so so so so so good omgggggg

Samatoki respecting the fuck outta Jakurai is amazing and I never get tired of their father-child kind of relationship (yes jakurai is a dad to TDD fight me.)

The Riou and Samatoki interactionnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ah my heart!! they know each other so well and play off each others strengths. its so cute and I love how Samatoki knows his teammates well enough to know when to play each of his pieces. He isn’t just some brute who speaks through his fists, but he does use his head too. I think this is one of the reasons why he’s also high up on the Yakuza ladder since he’s not only brawny but also brainy

EAT RIOUS FOOD SAMATOKI

ah yes, Jyuto kneeing a bitch. just what I needed to see on a stressful friday thank you for feeding me

I love MTC, im very happy with the MTC crumbs. Since MTR showed up in BB’s ep last week, i really really hope that next week’s ep will be MTC

There it is. Jakurai’s “Jitsuni Kyoumibukai” line

lolololololol the sound effects for MTR is hilarious. Though please give Doppo a break, man deserves it

Jaku’s hair man. its beautiful

Again, please give Doppo a break, he deserves with the 4 joints that they attacked

They say 3 times, but they attacked 4 places?? Did they not report one of them?

Ahhhhh the DoHifu interaction on the temple grounds is both hilarious and cute. Though I can’t help but feel bad for Doppo

* Huh, Jaku did you get that from your hitman days loll

Oh man host mode. Though I like how Doppo recognizes when Host Mode is  a legitimate shield that Hifumi needs and is willing to give him that shield when he needs it. God I love their dynamic]

wow... yet another female stalker for Hifumi... very original. This is pretty similar to the stalker girl from the manga and CD

Lol callback to when Doppo was in the toilet and trying to calm down. 

pffft the girl is so weird. I can’t stand her or Uwabami. 

The plot is so convoluted holy shit. Is this a drama now? (I’ve never watched any c-dramas or k-dramas so I’m the furthest thing from a voice of authority but this seems like a drama show plot lmao.)

This is just a drama at this point lol. Misunderstandings, plot twists and cheesy shit all over the place. Its a badly written and hilarious drama thats for sure

Someone please write a fic where instead of the hypmic universe, the boys are all in a tv drama show plot and their hijinks bc it would fit perfectly. please

Ah, Doppochin snapped~ He’s very interesting once he gets fired up and thats when I really really like MTR. Don’t get me wrong, I love them normally but its when they get down to it that really makes me squeal in delight

Oh! So i think each character gets their own personalized intro w/ their speakers, not just the leaders. Thats honestly so so so cool. The 3D didn’t get in the way of the sequence and was really flashy and smooth. I love how they show the transformation and reveal of the mic and speaker. Honestly the Anime has so many good takes on thigs that aren’t touched on often in the franchise.

The rap was honestly fire this time around. I love it and have replayed it almost 20 times. According to the ending credits its called Welcome U which is so cute for such a funny and badass song. The strong base beat and imagery were so strong and included a lot of homages to things that really matches both Shinjuku, Matenrou and the lyric’s themes and they’re really small but important details! The humor was on point without sacrificing any of the amazingly cool elements and the three distinct styles of rap were integrated in such a catchy melody!

EG) the verse All Year Round features a quick shot of the four seasons and the things most prominently associated with each season. Spring has cherry blossoms and flower viewing, Summer has festivals, Fall and Winter have food that corresponds to events that happen in those seasons.

Doppo’s line of “The flea counters w/ a bite” is so so so cute bc he’s got a little w at the end and thats jp chatspeak for a laugh and skjdfhsdjfkslad adorable

Hifumi picking up right after and asking if Doppo is okay is just. Goals. And his gratutious english works really well and is super smooth! Very very good

Also the small homage to The Champions with Hifumi’s “Jump around” line and the format where Hifumi takes separate lines than Jaku and Doppo. Its a brilliant way to sneak these references in and they’ve kept that theme going from last episode

Foreshadowing with “We’re the true leader, Matenro!” Nice touch there lol.

Lol of course its attempted murder. Still gotta keep this PG 13 even though theres swearing abound

The ending w/ mimimi..... leaves me kind of torn since i don’t like how it ended but they did provide some nice advice. i guess

lsdf;jsalkdfjsldf Hifumi please you’ve known Doppo for over 25 years, you should know better than anyone what his charm points are. and shouldn’t you be the one who understands Doppo’s appeal? smh

SCREEEEEEE THAT TITLE OF THE NEXT EP. if its an MTC ep i will scream even more bc asudhfsdkjflasd A friend in need is a friend indeed this is just pushing my Poly!MTC agenda isn’t it

Final thoughts:

Please please please let next week be MTC please please please

DoHifu are goals, both romantically and platonically

The rap was fire and I’m going to keep listening to it on repeat. First ep was a bit of a disappointment in terms of CGI and raps but these latest two eps are really picking up the slack! I really hope they continue this for the next two!

JAKURAI WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU PLEASE TELL ME

[cranetreegang]

Fallout 4: Elder Arthur Maxson x FemSol: Late Night

A little something for our fearless leader Maxson. I think he gets a lot of bad rap, but he’s really not that bad. I think his heart is in the right place. Even when he gets a little... harsh about things #iwillneverkilldanseaslongasilive #cantchangemymind #whycan’twebefriends

This story is a bit dialogue heavy and sorta kinda fluffy. I still like it tho. Some background: Sole is General to Minutemen and has been talking to Maxson some about Pre War life. I like to think that Maxson is curious about that kind of stuff.

Let me know what ya think!

I should’ve been asleep hours ago, but my mind was too restless. It was running around between Shaun, Preston, and whatever else came to mind. 

I gave up and went for a walk. The ship was quiet at this hour. The only people up were a few scribes and a handful of initiates on guard duty. I climbed the ladder down to the command deck and went to the area I found a few days ago. I think it was called the Forward Deck. Whatever it was, it had a great view. I opened the door to see another person already there. I almost turned to leave, when I recognized the person as Maxson. 

I watched him for a moment before approaching him.  

“It’s weird seeing Boston like this.” I spoke softly as to not startle him. I went ahead and stood beside him. If he was surprised to see me, he didn’t show it. 

“It’s a reminder of what technology run a muck will do.” He said grimly above the wind. It was a biting wind that cut through my thin flight suit. I could see the lights of Diamond City glimmering in the distance. Various campfires dotted the dark landscape and my eyes followed them until I saw a bright green light. It reminded me of an aurora.

“Is that the Glowing Sea?” I asked him, pointing to the green light in the distance. He followed my finger to the only other bright light in the area.  

“Yes. That’s where the bomb fell. The radiation there is unlike anything we’ve seen before.” He stated. My eyes trained on the glowing greens and yellows. That’s where it happened. I could almost see the explosion in the back of my mind. The cries of hundreds of people rang in my ears. A gentle touch on my arm brought me back. I followed the gloved hand to Maxson’s worried expression. 

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” I tried to play it off. 

“Did you see it happen?” He asked. I looked back to the Glowing Sea. 

“It happened right when we were being lowered into the vault.” 

“I figured you were already inside before the bomb.” He said. I shook my head. 

“We barely made it in time. I don’t think anyone knew it was going to happen. It was complete chaos. There were people fighting to get in the vault. Cars trying to drive away. And some just stood there in the street. They didn’t even move.” A chill went up my spine. I could see their blank expressions staring off into the distance. Hopeless. 

“It all happened so fast. One minute I’m enjoying coffee, listening to the morning news. The next… I’m here.” I took a long breath to keep my emotions at bay. I did my grieving for my past life, and everything that happened in between. 

I couldn’t stop staring at the gently swirling green lights. It almost seemed peaceful from here. “I’ve heard rumors about the Glowing Sea. Breeding ground for nightmares apparently.”

“That’s what my scouts have informed me. We’ll send an expedition once we have more of a foothold in the Commonwealth.” He said. I nodded in understanding, and we shifted into a peaceful silence.

 A visible shiver went through me due to a strong gust of wind. Maxson was quick to notice and shrugged off his coat. He wrapped it around me before I could protest. I almost fell down from the weight.

“Holy shit! How much does this thing weigh?” I exclaimed. He barked out a sharp laugh. 

“It’s reinforced with lightweight ballistic plating.” 

My brows raised nearly to my hairline. “Lightweight? I would hate to see it full weight then.”

He had a tight smile playing under his unruly beard. “Seems like you need to focus more on your strength training, Knight.” 

“Well, if I walked around wearing this all day, I’d look like Danse.” 

I could hear him cough back a chuckle. Despite the weight, it was warm. I wrapped the jacket closer around me. It practically swallowed me whole. It smelled like leather and metal mixed with a dark musk that I could only describe as being Maxson. I glanced over at him and he seemed unfazed by the brisk night. His dark flight suit did little to hide his well toned body. I felt my cheeks starting to betray my inner thoughts, and I changed my focus to Diamond City.

“I wonder if Boston will ever look how it did.” 

“Once we’ve liberated the Commonwealth, that might happen.” He said. 

“That'd be amazing. Danse pointed out when we went to Diamond City. That all those buildings are still intact. Maybe it’ll be a Boston 2.0 after you’ve conquered the place.” 

“Is that what you think I’m doing here? Conquering?” He seemed concerned. 

“You aren’t here to plant the Brotherhood flag?” I questioned with a raised brow. 

“The Institute is why I’m here. They’ve created monsters, taken innocents from their homes, and killed too many of our brothers and sisters. They’ve tainted the Commonwealth, and have spread along the East Coast like a plague. I’m here to put an end to it. An end to their reign of terror.” His face was stern and his voice harsh. Much like his speech when I first arrived, I found his fervor intoxicating. 

“That’s what you need to be telling the people then. Right now, people see you as just another Institute. And I want to help you with that.” 

He leaned against the railing giving me full attention. “How?” 

“Well, I am General of the Minutemen.” I made a shy grin as his brows raised. 

“General? How did you become General?” 

“Long story short, I killed a deathclaw when I first left the vault that was attacking the last of the Minutemen. That’s besides the point though.” I tried to continue, but he started to laugh. 

“You killed one of the toughest creatures in the Wasteland? On your first day?” 

“Well… yes. Why is that so hard for everyone to believe? I heard you killed one when you were 13! With nothing but a 10 mil!” I bit my lip as he looked at me impressed and amused.

He ran his gloved finger down his scared cheek. “You’ve heard the story going around. About this scar.” I had been curious about it, but was too polite to ask.

“Is it not from a deathclaw?” 

“Maybe. Maybe not. That’s a story for another day. Please, continue.” He smirked. 

I kept myself from rolling my eyes and began my pitch again. “Anyways, I’ve been helping some of the settlements and farms around the Commonwealth. Most of them just want protection, and a community to be around. A home that they can be proud of. I’m sure Teegan’s told you that I convinced some of them to give a portion of their crops. I think if we made an alliance between the Minutemen and the Brotherhood, people might not see you as the new boogeyman.” I suggested. He stroked his beard in thought. It was cute in a way. 

“Teegan and Danse have informed me of your efforts. I'm glad you’re taking initiative. You’re doing the Brotherhood proud.” He paused in reflection once again. “This is an interesting proposition. I’ll have to give it some thought, and speak to my advisors about this. I will say, it’s promising.” 

“Take your time. The Minutemen still have their work cut out for them, but I’m gonna whip them into shape!” I said proudly. He had a soft smile. 

“I believe that, General.” He bowed his head. “May I ask, what are you doing out here so late? I believe you and Danse are departing tomorrow.” 

“I could ask you the same thing.” 

He hummed at my lack of an answer. His eyes shifted over me with a hint of concern. “If there’s anything you need, I hope that you would feel comfortable in coming to me. Or any of your brothers and sisters.”  I realized we were close to each other. Our shoulders were practically touching. Our heads were leaning towards the other.

A smile of admiration came over me for him. “Thank you, Elder. I would like to offer the same kindness to you as well. If you ever wanted to talk about anything, and I do mean anything, just let me know.” 

“We may not have much in this world. But we do have each other. It’s something that I try to get everyone under my wing to understand. No matter their rank or status.” 

He got off the railing and gave a final scan over the horizon. “Would you like to join me for a drink? You look like you could use one.” 

His candor took me off guard for a moment. I let myself dumbly nod and started to follow him off the deck. I stopped him before he could open the door. I struggled to take off his jacket and hand it back to him.

“Thanks for letting me borrow it.” 

He shrugged the large coat back on like it was nothing. It fit him like a second skin. Much like his tight flight suit, I thought lewdly. 

“Can’t have you freezing again.” He checked my response and seemed relieved that I was laughing. 

He led me back to his quarters. I could feel the gaze of the late night guards on us as we strolled past. We sat down on his tattered couch next to each other. He handed me a glass of bourbon. He practically swallowed his in one gulp. If I didn’t know any better, I would say we were hanging out like friends. That warmed me more than the bourbon.

“I had a question for you.” Maxson stated. “What did you like to do Pre War? You’ve talked about numerous other things Pre War. But never about yourself.” 

“I... I hadn’t noticed. I don’t know. I didn’t really do anything exciting back then.” I shrugged. 

Maxson chuckled. “I find that hard to believe. You’ve been here for four weeks, and you’re all anyone talks about.” 

“That’s because I’m like a novelty. How many Pre War popsicles do you have running around the Commonwealth?” I giggled. 

“Fair point. You’re avoiding the question.” He pressed. 

“My favorite thing to do.” I hummed in thought for a moment. “I guess it was traveling. I liked to explore new places. Still do. I think that’s why I don’t mind running around the Commonwealth.”

“What was your favorite place?” He asked. He leaned fully back and seemed relaxed. I didn’t know if it was the drink or something else entirely. 

“That’s a hard one.” I paused as I thought about it. The bourbon had already taken affect. I recounted the places I’ve been. I figured out which one stood out the most to me. “Well, there is one. It’s out in Utah. Zion National Park. Heard of it?” 

“I have. The West Coast Brotherhood have reports of a tribe living there. It’s fairly intact.” 

I let out a relieved sigh. “That’s good to hear. That place was… it’s hard to describe.” 

“I would like to hear about it.” He said softly. I smiled and started my tale. 

“I went with my parents during Thanksgiving break when I was younger. At first, I didn’t wanna go. I’m not a big fan of looking at deserts and sand. And I thought Zion was just that. When we got there, we wanted to do one of the hikes, Angel’s Landing. It’s supposed to be so high, only Angels can reach it.” I laughed to myself. 

“I know you might not think it’s a big deal, but it took a few hours to get to the top. We had to go up and up and up. Hiking along switchbacks and hills. We had to traverse along a narrow ridge that barely had enough room for one person to walk. You could look down on either side, and it dropped off 3,000 feet below. I wasn’t scared or anything. I knew I wouldn’t fall. When we got to the top, I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

“What did you see?” His voice was heavy. His head was turned towards me, but his eyes were closed. I nudged him and he barely opened one of his eyes to look at me. 

“How about you lay down? Then I can finish.” 

He nodded and shuffled over to his bed. He ripped off his boots, and threw his jacket over a dresser. He got comfortable and patted the space next to him. I didn’t know what to do for a moment. I debated within myself, before deciding to sit at the foot of the bed. 

He closed his eyes once more. “Finish your story. I’m listening.” 

“Uh huh. Looks like I’m boring you to sleep.” I teased. 

His brows furrowed. “Not at all. Please. I want to know what you saw.” He kept his eyes open until I started speaking again.

“When we reached the top, I understood why it was called Angel’s Landing. I could see all of Zion. The stones and mountains there are white and pink and brown and orange. The sun was starting to set, and the whole valley had this glow. The river was shimmering and the trees surrounding it were green and orange and red. Apparently the trees never turn those colors.” I could almost feel myself back on top of that ridge. The wind was blowing through my hair. 

“The feeling I had up there was... spiritual. If I had to describe it in one word. Nothing I’ve ever felt before. I wanted to go with Nate. But… he got deployed. Then he came back, and I got pregnant. And you know the rest.” I looked over to Maxson to see his chest rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern. A light snore was escaping him. He looked peaceful. I was glad I could help him get some sleep. 

I watched him sleep for a few more moments. I slowly got off his bed. I grabbed his jacket, and placed it over him. He mumbled something I couldn’t quite understand, before settling back to sleep.

I moved his stray hairs back to their place. He was handsome. I felt a ping of pity for him. I doubt he’s ever had a moment to be himself. To do whatever he really wanted in life. Or maybe this was what he wanted. I shook my head out of my thoughts. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, Maxson.” I whispered. He mumbled more things under his breath that I took as his goodbye wishes. 

I snuck back to my bunk. Where I drifted off to a land of pink rocks and long sunsets.

[itsthebiiii]

A messy summary of Ikepri Yves’ route from chap 16

Hey so it's me again lol. I know I'm SUUUPER late to the party and Nokto's route is out mah boiiiiis, but I finally finished one of the endings and I'm here to deliver them delicious spoilers so... here they are under the cut. Also, somehow more detailed than the last one but it's still as messy don't worry

also, sorry if there are any errors or inaccuracies!

So about that plot, well, some shit is going down that requires the princes to go to battle so they do that (once again, breezed through that part 😅). MC's quite worried bout Yves but he promises he'd return so they gucci.

While on the battlefield, everyone's all exhausted and full of blood on their hands, well, except for Yves. Leon and the gang noticed how he doesn't kill any one of the Obsidian soldiers and he just kept pushing them down. I think Yves was doing this because he doesn't want to kill one of his own because, no matter what he's got some Obsidian blood in his veins. Anyway, they notice a soldier about to attack Yves from behind, but before anyone could bat an eye, Licht comes to his rescue and gets injured. And yall know the drill, Yves feels guilty, yada yada.

After three days, the princes return and MC welcomes them. She noticed everyone looked messed up except for Yves, and when she called him it seemed like he didn't even hear her. MC is concerned bout what happened out there, but before she could ask some more, Jin asks her to take care of Licht's wound. She agrees, and while tending to his injury, Licht tells her what happened. He also told her there's one thing MC can do for Yves, but before he can say what, Jin and Clavis barges in the room with impeccable timing and some booze, announcing that they're gonna drink up for getting out alive so they gather everyone up lolol they rowdy af. Yves doesn't show up tho which makes MC even more worried

MC immediately comes to a realization that Yves might be blaming himself for what happened to Licht so she searches for him until she finds him in the kitchen. He still looked like he wasn't himself, so MC tries comforting him until he snappedt and tried pushing her away (I swear these two) Yves was like "yo wtf why do you even care for me I don't deserve that shit" and then that scene from the PV happens. Yves cried bout how much he hates himself more than anyone does and he wishes he was someone that ain't him. MC just stayed silent and listened to him pour his heart out ugh poor boi

Some time later, the princes gathered up again because they received a letter(?) from Obsidian. It said they want Rhodolite to send Yves back to Obsidian or else some shit will go down. They obviously think it's a trap of some sort but Yves agrees anyway so... that's decided. MC doesn't know of this until she hears from Luke. She rushes to Yves' room and saw him packing up. MC was also apprehensive about him going (or returning?) to Obsidian, but Yves just smiled and told her not to worry or smth. Also he was like "remember all that crap I told you that night at the kitchen? Sike, those were L I E S" and MC's just like "ye right" but because she was unable to form a response to any of that, she left the room teary eyed, with Yves also equally sad. MC returns to her room and while crying her heart out she realizes one teensy tiny detail: she's in love with Yves *insert surprised pikachu face*

So the day came for Yves to depart, but MC decides to stay in her room. Rio sees her in her state and told her "the MC I know and love wouldn't sulk around in her room smh go out there and chase yo mans" and after some persuasion MC heads out. She managed to catch up to Yves and talk to him for like 3 minutes. Also in those 3 minutes, she finally confessed her feelings and kissed him (Yves: 😲 guards: 😳😳😳) She's like "ye remember when I said I won't fall for u? Ye that kinda happened so I guess I'm yours for all of eternity" She also says she'll be waiting for him and gives him her memo pad before he leaves.

In the carriage, Yves reads MC's notes, there were some notes written about the princes but later they soon become notes about what they had done together: going to town, eating sum food, etc. He realizes that she turned it into a whole ass diary and it was mainly about him 😭 Yves was like "girl don't even know this ain't a diary... baka na no??? *sad princely sobbing*"

Back at the castle, the remaining princes gathered up again, this time with MC, and they talked about Obsidian's real motives. They talked about how Yves shouldn't have gone to Obsidian because the moment he interacts with them, he could or would get killed. MC was worried as she listens to them making plans and when Licht decided he would go first to retrieve Yves, he drags MC along with him because he's good at reading expressions and our girl MC here really wants to be useful to the story.

Meanwhile, Yves' carriage suddenly stops and one of his soldiers alerts him that there's a fuckton of Obsidian soldiers ahead and Yves realizes they've been set up. He instructs his men to return to the castle and leave him, also he warns them that there miiiight be some more Obsidian peeps on their way back so he commands them to get out alive. Despite their apprehension, well they had to obey Yves so they did just that.

MEANWHILE meanwhile, Licht and MC go to Obsidian (I don't recall if they bumped into Yves' army but meh) and they stay back a bit to watch stuff unfold. There, they see Yves talking to some Obsidian leaders or smth and the leaders were talking shit to him bout how worthless he actually is and all that crap. They were like "yo you're cursed with sum bad magic huh" Yves was like "Ye, I thought so too. But ya know what? I met someone who kept looking at me straight in the eye and focused on all my good aspects. That person made me stop denying myself. (MC: oh shiz he's talking about the stuff I told him before he left) So no matter how much I didn't want to accept myself, no matter how much I wished to be someone else, I mustn't deny the me that she believed in, I mustn't give up on myself! So ye. I'm Yves Kloss, the 5th Prince of Rhodolite!" YES my boi gain that confidence!!!

So the Obsidian peeps were like "btch u done with ur last words? Just so u know the men u let escape are prolly dead anyway so, how bout u die too aye? Pls die" and when the Obsidian soldiers point their blades at him, Licht decides it was a good time to show up

So ye, before Yves could take a blow, Licht blocked it with his sword. Yves was like "wtf r u two doing here???!" And MC replied with "we're saving you, duh" and Licht backs her up with "ye what she said" the Obsidian peeps were all ???? but they decided to kill them two as well. MC's like "ye no we have back up otw" but the Obsidian peeps thought she was just fronting. So Yves and Licht decides to buy them more time by fighting (but not killing) them. They may be strong but they're exhausted as well, then one soldier finds an opening and aims for Licht. Yves sees this and gets in front of Licht, getting his arm injured in the process.

They try stalling for a few more minutes until the gang finally arrives and they're relieved Yves and Licht are still alive. Jin was like "yo wtf we didn't agree to send Yves here just to get our princes killed in a place like this" and the Obsidian guys are like "we just wanted to welcome Prince Yves until he pointed his sword at us 👉👈🥺💦" but Jin and the other princes obviously ain't buying that crap.

So playtime's over and after all that political stuff, Leon's like "aye Yves, since u have Rhodolite and Obsidian blood, ur technically our bridge, so wtf do we do now?" And Yves says the four kingdoms should sign a peace treaty and also form an alliance to end all those beef. MC's happy for him because he finally achieved his dream of uniting Rhodolite and Obsidian through him. And ye, everybody agrees so everybody happy

BUT WAIT! Sariel announces that Belle needs to choose the next king at that very moment (like wtf couldn't they wait until they get home?) But hey, since they're forming alliances anyway. So MC's pressured and all until she realizes, ayo wait up... ya'll know what the kingdoms need? Not one, not two, but EIGHT leaders! "Ye fam, I appoint all 8 princes to lead the kingdoms... momentarily until I make my final decision." Sariel's like "That ain't allowed" and MC responds with "I know fam. But the kingdoms are in a pretty unstable situation, and we need these 8 dudes to support the kingdoms... after everything is settled and stable again do I choose the king" and they were like "if that's what Belle says, then aight smh" Then everyone finally goes home, but not before Yves and MC shares a moment and Yves faints or falls asleep due to exhaustion

Back at the castle, MC is summoned by Sariel and he shows her there is only one petal left of the rose. He tells her "I know you've technically done your job, but until you choose A KING, will you stay in the castle?" Of course MC agrees and Sariel tells her that he thinks she made the best decision for the situation.

After MC leaves, Yves enters the room and asks Sariel if he has seen MC. Sariel has half a mind to tell the truth, but where's the fun in that right? He tells Yves that MC's preparing to leave since she has done her job and according to the Belle clause, 'once the king is chosen, Belle can't interact with or see him forever' or smth like that and Yves was like "Screw that bs!" and ran to MC's room immediately, leaving Sariel to laugh in evil 😏

In her room, MC was worried about Yves' wounds so she decides to pay him a visit, when she hears knocks on her door that she recognizes was Yves'. He wasted no time entering the room and pinning MC to her bed (SQUEAAAAL) and she was like "??? ya good fam?!" And Yves replied "WHERE TF DO U THINK UR GOING HUH??"

(Ya know what I think imma put a bit of their convo here lol)

MC: To see you?

Yves: And what? So you can say goodbye and tell me we won't see each other forever? BAKA

MC: ...Eh?

Yves: I don't care what Sariel or the others decided. I can't accept this! MC, I can't even take it when you're not beside me... what will I do if we can't see each other ever again? Just thinking about it makes me crazy... You said you'll be mine forever, didn't you? Then I... I'm yours forever as well! Because I was the one who fell (in love) first!

MC: !!!

Yves: I love love LOVE you, you idiot! So don't go saying we won't be together! The Yves Kloss won't allow that even if the world turns upside down! (not sure about that last part)

SO YE. As much as that warmed MC's heart, she was like "i ain't going anywhere. Bruh Sariel's messing with u" and Yves is EMBARRASSED but he doesn't deny it anyway. He decides to say some more cute stuff so lemme put it down here xD

"MC, a lot of unexpected things happened in my life. But the most unexpected thing that happened to me is falling in love with you. Even though I swore I would never fall for you, I noticed I have. You said you were the first one to fall for me, but I think my feelings for you are bigger. MC, I'm stupidly in love with you."

And they argue about who loves the other more lolol then they do the deed 🤭

So some time passed, and the other princes were throwing MC some pickup lines (they were teasing Yves about taking the crown and the MC lolol) and Yves just stood there like "fam?? Aren't yall a lil too close?? Sariel help!!1! Licht and Chevalier too???" And he whisks MC away to his room. The other princes just smiled fondly at the two and Leon comments, "Maybe just meeting someone can fill up the gaps in a person's heart" and he recalls how they tried filling Yves' loneliness but somehow could not fill up the last piece. Until MC shows up and did just that. Jin was like "heh, that sounds like destiny" and Leon confirms that it is 🥺

Back at Yves' room, he has MC pinned down again and he declares that he needs to do his best to continue staying by MC's side. And MC says "me too fam" then she asks him a very important question: "Do you still want to be someone other than you?"

And he replies with:

"It's because you showed me my good traits and loved me for who I am that I don't hate the me I am now. Besides, if I were someone else, then I wouldn't be able to fall in love with you like this. It's because I'm like this, that you found me. That's why, from the bottom of my heart, I'm happy I'm me; I'm happy I did my best to live" ugly sobbing in the background 😭😭😭

So that beautiful CG appears, and Yves tells MC that line, "When I fell in love with you, it's as if the bad magic disappeared. Thank you... for teaching me what true love is."

A few days later, the two were at the library and Yves tells MC that before, he never knew what love is. But of course it's different now, because he tells her, "For me, the meaning of love is... you, MC."

~FIN~

YALL I'M STILL SOBBING BRUUUH 😭😭😭 this whole route was a blast 100/10 would read again (after I finish Nokto, I guess lolol) But ye. Yves is my best boi in IkePri because I'm a sucker for these tropes it's just so sooooft.

So I'm still undecided whether I should read the epilogue or nah because I need like 20 more affection pts? and I really wanna do Nokto's route... idk man

Well this was longer than I expected, so if you reached the end, have some more leFtOvERs from Yves! 🥧

[my-artblog-is-ssjumi]

Isono/Seto, Isono/Aileen, Hannibal/the other guy in that show aaand whatever Evangelion ship u most wanna talk about

disclaimer for folks with different taste than mine: you do you ofc but this ask game is not about your opinions

Isono/Seto

11/10 in every way (as long as not shipped as uwu) and the age gap is a big part of what really makes this ship in the first place

Love me all of this misplaced father/son dynamic stuff going on, since Isono doesn’t have time for the family life he would be pretty good at if he didn’t have the rich kids to take care of and Seto. Seto is just. His entire deal is that he is a bag made out of daddy issues filled with lots and lots of boxes that are also filled with daddy issues and a bunch of issues he got from his birth family.

Imo there’s a lot of unplatonic tension and a dynamic with an endless amount of potential right there and aside from a couple Japanese doujinshi artists and maybe 2 or 3 friends I don’t trust anyone in this fandom to do it justice so I’m not even mad that it’s not one of the more popular ships bc I don’t wanna see the healthy uwu.

*

Isono/Aileen

UGH, Sam, you’re SPOILING ME, asking for my MarySue child! X3

Ofc it’s a top tier ship, too, bc I came up with it and my taste is simply flawless.

I mean, if I was married to Seto Kaiba for some reason and ruined my social life outside the relationship with him in the process so I felt I didn’t have anyone aside from him anymore and we drifted apart because of his issues and my issues and then there’s the whole thing with the public eye, too, and I was this gorgeous (probably day-drinking) rich lady whose job it was to run the KC’s PR department - a job that only got shittier and shittier over the years the weirder Seto’s stunts got, building a school right next to an active volcano being just one of the cherries on top...........

I mean, who would I turn to in my loneliness?

Ofc I’d turn to the only other person who can relate to how exhausting it is to clean up Seto’s mess again and again and again but still sticks with him anyway.

(Some ppl might argue “What about Mokuba?” and I want these ppl to know that Mokuba deserves better and in this storyline he knows that and studied abroad and traveled the world and now knows what life outside the Kaiba bubble looks like... Also he probably fucks Jounouchi)

The soap opera aesthetic. Everything is bling in this golden cage.

And it’s impossible to tell if this relationship between Ai and Isono would even work outside of this bubble. I don’t think they want the same things from life. I mean, in case they even still know what they want from life in the first place.

Amazing. Show-stopping. Someone start production on this telenovela right now and I want a soft shimmery blur and star filters that makes the jewelry blind the audience on each and every close-up of Aileen!

*

Hannibal/Will

Oh boy!

Ok, so I actually watched that show a couple years ago but only got through the first two seasons and then was too lazy to figure out where to watch the rest (especially since it wasn’t clear at the time if it was cancelled or would be cancelled or not) and then kinda... forgot about it? Also I think I remember I was pretty annoyed by Will’s angst after a while.

I mean, it’s valid ofc.

His therapist/friend/whatever they were by that point was a manipulating cannibal and he had these blood-smeared antler nightmares and shit so I’m gonna cut him some slack here.

So, uh, my honest opinion............. I... guess it’s a ship that exists?

I mean, if I had the hots for one or both of them I might be able to get rly into it, but the sexiest thing on the show was the food (ignoring what it’s made of ofc. i guess.) and the rly fancy ties Hannibal always wore.

But the ship itself..........

¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

*

an NGE ship of my choice

Oh my.... hmmmm.... ok, this is brutal honesty hour so I’m just gonna be brutally honest and say that I don’t care much about the ships of this show.

I’m okay with most of them like. They have their place in the narrative, I guess? So iirc I’m not squicked by any of them?

They’re very tropey, especially the ones among the teenagers, but that trope density with these kinda archetypes n stuff wasn’t that run-of-the-mill common and fucking everywhere to that degree back when the show came out so while I would probably at least be bored if not hella annoyed to get all of that shoved in my face nowadays... it’s fine with me in the context of NGE.

Hmmm what could I say about a specific ship....

Yo, what about Kaoru/Shinji.

Everyone loves Kaoru/Shinji after all.

I think it’s. Okay, I guess.

I mean, it’s cool that it exists, but I don’t really FEEL much about it tbh?

It does get a bit more substance and becomes more interesting i you throw yourself down the rabbit hole of fandom’s timeline speculations and their related essays on that tho, in which all the NGE canons are somewhat linked in a particular order bc Shinji reset everything a couple times in previous Third Impacts XD

In this theory, Kaoru is the only one who remembers all these timelines, which explains why he starts out as a kinda emotionally incompetent bratty douchebag in the manga and only learns a human emotion or two and something resembling compassion through Shinji, which explains why he’s in instant flirty mode when he sees him “again” in the anime(s) and seems to know exactly what Shinji is going through and needs to hear (and how to hurt him by giving/saying it to him before making him kill him XD’) there.

Like, in the context of that connected timelines theory, this pairing is pretty cool and I can really get behind it and could see myself getting emotionally invested if I spent more time on it and/or maybe were a little younger.

But outside of that context, judging it by just one of the canons at a time...

It’s just.

It’s fine. It’s there. It has its place. It makes for pretty fanart sometimes. Eh.