#not just to be ‘basic barbie’
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gothmothgoblin · 1 year ago
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my only critique of the barbie movie is she should have become a gynecologist instead of just getting a vagina
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steviesbicrisis · 1 year ago
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A Barbie AU where the Kens decide, in order to get some recognition, to get individual names.
Steve, who’s just a Ken very good with kids, is having an identity crisis after his Barbie, journalist Barbie, broke up with him.
Not even picking a name as unique and special as Steve, so much different than Ken, managed to cheer him up.
Everyone keeps saying he should be happy about the change, and discover who he is outside of Barbie’s orbit, but he can’t see what was so wrong in their relationship. He loved waiting all day for Barbie to look at him, even if it was for a brief second.
As if going through an existential crisis wasn't enough, he has to do it under the constant mocking of his archnemesis, Ke- Eddie.
Eddie, with his long curly and annoyingly gorgeous hair, who has a sense of style he would give all of his rollerblades for, and who's always there to notice whenever Steve makes a mistake.
Eddie even has his Barbie still by his side, cheerleader Barbie, and every time Steve sees them together he gets a sick feeling in his stomach, like a tummy ache. Doctor Barbie visited him a couple of times and found nothing wrong with him, he imagines he's a little jealous of Eddie for being with a Barbie.
Steve talks about this with Polyglot Barbie, his best friend, annoying her to death.
"Why are we talking about Ken, again?" she interrupts Steve's retelling of his last encounter with Eddie.
"It's Eddie" Steve corrects her.
"Right," she nods. She's very supportive of their silly-name-thing (how most Barbies call it), but she still has trouble remembering all the names, "why are we still talking about him?"
They're hanging out at the park, sitting under a tree, Barbie's leg on top of his, and they're holding hands. It's nice. Steve is happy to have a best friend like Barbie.
Steve looks up, meeting Eddie's gaze. He's sitting at one of the picnic tables not far away from them, doing nothing besides glaring at Steve.
Barbie squeezes his hand to get his attention back, and Steve looks away.
"Because he keeps tormenting me! he's even glaring at me right now, I'm gonna get stress wrinkles!" Steve finally replies, in a distressed tone.
"You're being dramatic," she says, matter-of-factly, "Eddie isn't so bad with you. You know, he kinda treats you like his Barbie."
If Steve had a beating heart, it probably would've stopped right at this second.
"What?"
"You know, he's always looking for you, he is always giddy whenever you give him a crumble of attention. He hangs out where you hang out... why do you think he's sitting all alone at a picnic table, just staring at you?"
"Maybe he's waiting for his girlfriend" he suggests.
"Are you talking about Cheerleader Barbie?" she giggles, "she's not his girlfriend, trust me."
"But he picks on me! all the time! Like this morning, I tripped and he made a comment about my legs!" He gestures at his legs with his free hand.
Barbie tilts her head to the side "you mean this morning at the beach when he held you in his arms for ten minutes to prevent you from falling and Barbie had to tell him to let you go?"
"… yeah” he manages to say. He hadn’t realized how long Eddie held him in his arms, he was upset about almost falling in front of him, but he also liked the feeling of his arms around him.
Everything feels different now.
Barbie's look softens "How does this make you feel?"
"I don't know" he answers, honestly "I just can't stop thinking about him."
A loud noise at their right startles them off of their conversation. They turn around to see Eddie lying on the floor, a trash can at his feet.
Steve doesn't give himself the time to realize that Eddie has probably heard their entire conversation and has tripped on that trash can because of it, he just rushes to Eddie's side to help him out.
Eddie stammers while Steve pulls him back up, not making much sense.
Steve is used to see Eddie as an intimidating guy, someone to compete with for Barbie’s attention. He never realized how much he liked to have Eddie’s attention instead, nor how he loved to give that attention back in equal amount.
“Nice legs” he tells him, repeating the same words Eddie told him that morning.
Eddie stops his incoherent stream of words when he hears him “what?”
“You heard me” Steve says.
“I did” Eddie admits. He pulls the trash can back up, to have an excuse to not look at Steve when he asks “you can’t stop thinking about me?”
For some reason, that’s the easiest question Steve has ever had to answer to “yes, I can’t.”
Eddie jolts back up startling Steve, the trash can falling out of his hands and hitting the ground once again.
“Cool” he says, using all of his willpower to hide his excitement by keeping a relaxed face, failing miserably.
“I guess” Steve grins. Knowing he has that effect on Eddie is making him the most confident he has ever felt in his life.
“So, since you can’t stop thinking about me…” Eddie repeats, in a tone that Steve would’ve mistaken for a mocking one until few hours ago “…we could hang out on the beach later. I’ll bring my guitar.”
“I’ll bring mine too then” Steve replies immediately.
Eddie panics “We can’t both have a guitar!”
Steve crosses his arms on his chest “who says that?”
Eddie opens and closes his mouth a couple of times then mutters, defeated, “fine.”
“Great!” Steve takes a step forward and gives Eddie a peck on his cheek “I’ll see you later.”
Eddie, who makes a face again trying to hide his excitement, nods and turns away “cool.”
He walks away slowly, towards the park’s exit. Right by the gate, he throws himself into an hedge. Steve can clearly hear him when he screams words along the lines of “FINALLY”, “I HAVE A DATE” and “SUBLIME”.
Steve turns to Robin who has witnessed the whole thing, while Eddie is still screaming random words from the bushes.
“I think I’m in love.”
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tio-trile · 1 year ago
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They ended up seeing the double feature together
Draws my own version of a Barbie meme instead of the one that’s everywhere rn because I’m cooler (no
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tricoufamily · 4 months ago
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just some ivy league kids trying to figure out necromancy
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azogue2718 · 1 year ago
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You ate WHAT
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laniidae-passerine · 2 years ago
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know that it’s not the point of the movie but I really hope they establish ken is indeed barbie’s boyfriend. she doesn’t need to kiss him or hold his hand or say I love you but we need that true devoted obsessed boyfriend + badass girlfriend to be canon because you know Ryan Gosling’s Ken would let Margot Robbie’s Barbie commit war crimes in the name of being a supportive partner
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squidwithelbows · 7 months ago
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Had a realization about jarlaxle’s whole plot on the surface world…
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maskedchip · 1 year ago
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hope they are slaying in these roleswap designs i drew for funsies
AND i compiled a bunch of roleswap au art/doodles from last year! not much thought was put into it, i just wanted to play dress up but i still think about it from time to time (doodles below!)
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blagorodnic · 6 months ago
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men hate me, women are repulsed by the mere sight of me, I am a wanted man in over 50 countries, I'm banned from most public institutions, I have violated the geneva convention for no less than 13 times and my cheekbones were sculpted by the gods.
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dkmbookworm · 11 months ago
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Do y’all ever look at Sif’s concept art and feel robbed?
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hellsite-hall-of-fame · 1 year ago
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How do you feel about staff's intent to remove reblog chains, considering your blog's basically an amalgamation of reblog chain long posts?
haha I’m actually legitimately terrified and trying really hard to not think about it :)
(seriously like i don’t wanna make a thing of it, but i’ve gone down the posts about it and like wtfff?!? why why why?!?? like I get their reasoning for it but it’s not accurate to the actual users of tumblr?? i’d rather scroll though 20 long posts than use the examples of what this would look like that I saw. but if this is wrong let me know…. but yeahhh i’m scared.)
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dkettchen · 1 year ago
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niche ass crossover fanart noone asked for and my main criticism of barbie movie in a nutshell
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knightinink · 10 months ago
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tfw the “random” imps you pulled away from exterminators are actually your daughter & the boy you treated like a son who thought you were dead for the last 15 years (aka, drawing what I saw in a dream that I’m now making into an entire Helluva au).
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I love dolls and collecting them and playing with them. Do you all know this?
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anamelessfool · 9 months ago
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Am I going to write a "but there was only one bed" fic is that going to be me right now
Because I'll do it! Watch me!!!
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I saw the Barbie movie earlier today, and I obviously have a lot of thoughts, but as a woman on her period right now, in excruciating pain, I have one major thing:
How would Barbie react to her first period?
I can just imagine her, after running to Gloria’s house, screaming and crying like-
“GLORIA! Help! I-I’m bleeding!”
And Gloria just has to sit her down and give her the same talk they gave us when we were twelve at school, and by the end, Barbie’s just lying on the floor, crying while Gloria hands her tissues.
“This WASN’T part of the DEAL! WHY WOULDN’T SHE TELL ME I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY MONTH FOR THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS?”
“...Maybe she thought it would put you off?”
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