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twiceblackvelvet · 4 years ago

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Five Years

requested, sort of.

a/n; hi, i had half of this drafted and decided to finish it up just to give you all... something because i felt a bit guilty lmao. the original prompt was "I just wished you really meant it when you said you loved me back" but i decided to change it up a little bit, hope you enjoy!

tw // mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of death (kinda?)

Did you know, the first cardboard box was created back in 1871? An Englishman produced it, likely by accident and it became a commercial success. But, he probably didn’t think that one of it’s most common uses today would be to transport your personal items from one place to another, more often than not whenever a negative situation arises.

Someone loses their job? They pack their things up in a cardboard box. You break up with your girlfriend of the last five years despite her claiming she’d never hurt you but then ended up doing it all throughout your time together? Pack all of your memories into a cardboard box... or multiple.

The first year was the easiest, the best… everything seemed a lot more simple back then. Dinner at new, expensive restaurants that neither of you could truly afford or wine tasting bottles from far beyond either of you were even born. It wasn’t practical, nor was it smart to use up the majority of your pay slips for the month on such exuberant dates but it became a thing… your thing… together. Now, those same wine glasses the two of you purchased in hopes of one day having the bottle worth more than your life to go along with it are about to be split apart like the two of you. The reviews about the best nights of your life haunting your phone whenever you decide to scroll through it idly, anything to take your mind off her and the end of what was supposed to be your forever.

Back then, at least, it felt like your forever. The nights simply laughing at ridiculous jokes or watching those old Hollywood classics where the main protagonist is a burly man and his only purpose is to save the frail, meek young woman from whatever is ailing her. You’d always mock how ridiculous the plot was and how neither of you needed saved from anything. The truth, however, is that you possibly needed saving from each other more than anything else.

The second year brought change. A new job for her meant far less time together than usual, but you both agreed to make it work, both agreed to put in the effort necessary to continue your relationship. It lasted, for a small while. But then meetings or appointments began to crop up seemingly out of nowhere and whilst it had begun to affect you both, neither of you bothered to address it. Smiling and waving away the nagging doubts in the back of your minds instead of facing it head on. Thinking about it now, you’re sure this is where the downfall began. It’s quite a feat you were both able to remain for another three years afterward.

You’d be lying to say that you didn’t think for quite some time that perhaps it wasn’t the job which was distracting Siyeon or taking up all of her attention, but rather that she had met someone else. Someone she had perhaps fallen for without realizing until it was too late. Someone she loved more than you. But, there were never any red flags about her being with anyone other than you, your life within the bedroom department remained steady and you’re certain she wouldn’t be capable of that if their were another person for her to sleep with.

The third year is a blur. Empty promises of adventures and quality time together that somehow always managed to blow up right before you both mere moments before you were due to finally have the space or freedom to be a couple. The late nights at the office becoming more frequent than not, sometimes neither of you would even see each other whatsoever for days on end. A coat would sometimes rest on the back of the living room chair to signal she was home, but physically, her presence was not anywhere to be seen in your shared apartment, in your mind and worst of all in your heart.

Communication began to dwindle and loneliness replaced the full feeling you used to feel deep down inside. You’re not even sure the two of you did speak at all at this point. She was merely a light breeze whisking in and out of your life whenever she pleased leaving behind a coldness that couldn’t possibly be cured. No amount of warmth could melt the icy barricade you’d built up around yourself.

The fourth year was full of trying. Real, honest trying. Both of you finally wising up to the fact that things were heading for disaster if nothing changed and fast. It wasn’t anywhere close to the first year, nor was it anything for either of you to be proud of. You’re sure if a relationship counsellor looked into the connection between you both they’d have told you things were dead in the water already, but you both tried. Even if that meant quick ten minute “dates” where eye contact couldn’t even be maintained. In reality, it was eating one meal together maybe once a month if you were lucky where she’d offer you small talk as if you were strangers meeting for the first time.

It wasn’t honest trying, nor was it real. It was a delusion. A façade. A lie to yourself in order to be able to keep some form of hold on this relationship that you refused to let go of for reasons you’re no longer sure about. Whatever the reason was at the time, you regret it now and wish you had just left when things went downhill the first time rather than putting yourself through extra heartbreak for someone who couldn’t care less about you, your relationship or sometimes even herself.

This year, everything fell apart. You could no longer lie to yourself about the fact that both you and Siyeon had managed to self-destruct within the confinements of your relationship. She began staying at random hotels, sometimes not even sleeping in a bed at all but rather resting wherever her head landed after a long night of drinking away her days work. That didn’t last, as she was eventually fired for not showing up, or showing up under the influence. You’re not even sure which as your brain had stopped processing her slurred words half-way through the conversation. She promised to find a new job and get back on her feet as soon as possible, instead, your savings account balance ended up being raided and left without a penny to feed her habit.

Despite every part of you screaming that you should leave and not think twice about it, a guilty feeling would always spring up into your head and chest whenever the fleeting thought crossed your mind. Fear consumed your every thought that she’d one day end up on the news having been found in a ditch unconscious or worse no longer alive.

Surprisingly, the breaking point finally came about from something far less dramatic. It’s what you needed otherwise it’s very possible that ten, twenty or even thirty years from now you could both be still stuck in the exact same position, moving around each other rather than with each other. Avoiding any and all confrontation in case it made her situation worse and putting up with all of the small things that have ended up building up a far larger pile of problems.

Nothing from this relationship has been fair on your heart or mind. It’s been a relentless battle everyday from the second your eyes open in the morning to when they close again after your mind has finished it’s final spin of thoughts, self-doubt, self-hatred as well as resentment for the person that the body lying mere inches away from your own belongs to. Well, when she does decide to return home and sleep beside you that is. You never imagined a day would come where you hate Siyeon, despise her in fact, and yet whenever you see her perfectly sculpted face now that is slowly beginning to show the wares of her alcohol abuse, you’re left with inner torment and pain, rather than the happiness you had once upon a time felt. Though, you’d be lying to yourself if you were to deny the fact you do still have a tiny amount of love left within you for her.

The weekend prior to the fall out, your family had decided to pay the two of you a visit. This alone was rather out of the blue and peculiar, however, you agreed to open up your home, if you can call it that, to them and Siyeon promised she would be there if only to keep up the appearance of a happy life together. But, as always, she was nowhere to be found. Not even a single text or phone call to explain why she had decided to not show up or why she had left you to try and explain away how she’s just “too busy lately” but that you’re both still as in love as ever. Her days are only ever busy with which hard liquor to pour down her throat next.

Nobody bought it. In fact, hiring someone in a clown suit to come and recite a monologue of known lies would have been more convincing than the performance you attempted to put on. It took all of one question to finally break the dam and unleash everything you’d been holding back from them all.

“Are you happy with her?”

The answer perched itself onto the tip of your tongue, threatening to spill out at any second, however, your eyes had other plans and instead allowed a steady stream of tears to douse your face. Everyone in the room remained stiff, stuck in place almost as if they were scared to breathe too loud out of fear it would break you further.

It was mid-week by the time she decided to finally return home. Your clothes neatly packed into a suitcase by the front door, everything else slotted into a cardboard box as best as possible. Old newspaper wrapped around some of the more fragile items, something you wish were able to protect your heart too. She stalked past all of it without even a second glance, nor did she bother to look your way as you sit on the edge of your seat hoping desperately that she’ll finally see how her actions have broken you both. Perhaps, offer an apology and make some actual promises that she will keep and the two of you could return to the happy place you once adored and cherished.

Instead, she moves toward the kitchen to grab a glass from the cupboard and pour herself some juice from the fridge. Her head resting in her hands as she sits down at the dining table. Her face looks tired and clothes unkempt. Whichever hole she decided to stay in this time, she hasn’t been taking care of herself that much is clear. But you’re far too enraged by her ignorance to offer her the last drop of sympathy remaining within you.

“They waited for you. They waited all weekend for you to show your face even just for a few seconds, and you couldn’t even do that for me.” Her head dropping further down onto the table, you hope out of embarrassment but you doubt it. “I asked you for one thing. Just one single thing, Siyeon.”

As you expected, she doesn’t speak. Her body moves every now and then from her breathing but nothing more. You’re not sure you even want her to say anything but the silence only further fuels the anger you’ve allowed to brew within you.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do us.” Her body finally sits itself up and her eyes lock onto your own immediately. “You’ve taken too much from me these last five years and I’m tired of it. Things were supposed to be different between us, you were supposed to be the person I spent the rest of my life with. Now, you’ll always be the person I wish I’d never met at all.”

You turn away from her before you say something that you may end up regretting, however, her hand latches itself around your wrist as she pulls you back toward her encasing your retreating body into a loose hug that you don’t reciprocate, instead allowing your hands to rest inside your coat pocket to make sure they don’t weakly hold her in return. Her shoulders slump upon realizing you aren’t going to offer her any lasting piece of affection and she nods her head in self-realization that things really are over as she pulls away.

"I love you. I need you to know that. I always loved you and I always will. I’m just not good enough for you, I never will be." She says, eyes dazzling from the light reflecting on her tears she’s holding back. She groggily sits back down in her seat, head once more resting her hands, however, they wipe away a few stray tears that managed to escape.

Without giving it a second thought you turn to leave one more, because you’re sure that if you had thought about it even for a second longer than she deserves, you’d end up falling back into her arms and back into the depressed state you’d been ignoring. Picking up the suitcase and opening the front door, you can’t help but whisper out words you know that Siyeon can’t possibly hear, but you need to let them out regardless in order to finally say goodbye to everything you’ve both been through.

“I wish I could believe you, but I love you too.”

#dreamcatcher imagines #siyeon #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #dreamcatcher scenarios #siyeon imagines #dreamcatcher #lee siyeon #kpop imagines #dreamcatcher siyeon #dreamcatcher angst #girl group angst

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years ago

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Hello! Love your blog. I was wondering if I could get some typing help? I have a general idea of what I am, but that’s not saying much since I have a tendency to hop between a few of them (INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ specifically). Either way, hopefully you can help me settle it.

I’m 22 and about to graduate from college. It’s been a journey, because I’ve transferred twice and changed plans a few times, but that’s the proper college experience, I think. One transfer closer to home can be owed to depression and Covid, while the first was simply me not meshing with the campus. I’m not too worried about how it’ll affect my grad school apps due to good grades and valid reasons.

Despite the schooling-related indecision, I tend to get an idea of what I want, then fixate on it heavily. Example: I recently tried to publish a novel I’ve been working on for years now. Realistically, I know the odds of getting your first work published and making enough money to start a career on it are beyond low, but a big part of me thought “yeah, except I worked on this draft consistently all these months and this feels right, so it has to pay off” – of course, it didn’t. That’s not to say it wasn’t worth it, but I’ve come to accept it won’t be that easy, so I’m going to focus on a job with more security first lol. That means proceeding with law school. Some friends might think I’m selling my soul by putting my dreams on the back burner. I disagree, though, because if writing is meant to be I can still make it happen this way but with more security. Plus, I’m used to having some higher objective to motivate me through each day, and I don’t like feeling aimless. To me, that would be settling for less: wasting time working next to minimum wage at some place I can’t see myself staying.

I’d like to think of myself as spontaneous despite knowing I’m really not. When I’m with friends, maybe, but I’m more than happy to do nothing on Friday nights, knowing I’ll be able to wake up early tomorrow and do whatever I’m doing at a decent time. That being said, I would be happy to hop on a flight across the world if someone offered to pay the way. I love travel, so I’d hope to find a career that makes that possible. The same goes for whatever work I’m doing. Ideally, I could move from place to place as I do my job, because I fear being rooted will keep me from seeing everything I’d like to see.

I’m definitely an introvert dichotomy wise, but if group work appears, I’m happy to make a plan and remind everyone when a due date is near, and I expect them to follow through or provide some forewarning. I’m not outright nasty when someone inevitably slips up, but I’m not going to give them an excuse either. Can’t relate since I’ve never had a problem with procrastination. Like, I’d say I’m procrastinating, but to me procrastinating is choosing not to get ahead on the project due next week while I have spare time now. That makes me sound like a robot or a liar, but I’m mostly just very aware of my limitations and have learned how to manage work in a way that keeps me from having to stress.

I have no idea how to end this. Quick notes? I’m ambitious but not competitive – literally cannot relate to envy, because I don’t think someone having something means you can’t have it too – you just have to work on/for it. I’m not very curious lmao. Like, I’m as curious as the average person, but I don’t care about how things work (Ti slacking?). Uhh, fandoms annoy me. Like, seeing fans distort characters and needlessly project onto them in cringe ways makes my brain itchy. I’ve been called insensitive. I can easily cut someone off after finding, for a fact, that they’re being manipulative. Whatever baggage they have, I don’t care. I don’t see the point in fighting for a relationship when a “friend” is working against you. I’m also the “advice friend” because I don’t have drama and seem to know how to diffuse it easily or cut it out completely. Now that I think about it, all of my closest friends have a lot of anxiety, so maybe I collect them and care for them a little since I have none.

Hopefully that wasn’t too much useless info. I think I’m mainly struggling on differentiating between lower Ne vs Lower Se. My indecision comes in rare bouts, so maybe that’s the weak Ne manifesting. Or maybe I’m lower Se for forgetting the larger scheme by focusing on material things like getting to travel and making a high salary? Whatever. These are things most people prioritize, though. Let me know if you need any specifics. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate how informative your blog is and all the resources you share.

Hi anon,

To be honest I am really not sure based on this, and it might be good for you to revisit this after a little bit of time out of school. I would rule out the Ti-Fe axis, but I can actually see arguments for either high Te or high Fi My guess is high Ni if you have high Te you don't really sound like a high Si user - and part of what is tripping me up the most is that you said a lot of things that make me thing of high Fi and the spontaneity of Se or Ne, but there's a lot here that really sounds intuitive but distinctly not like an Ne user. So I actually think there are arguments for either INTJ or ISFP, and I actually lean a little more towards "ISFP with good discipline/time management" than INTJ.

Here's my thought process, which hopefully can get you started.

I do feel like transferring twice is a little abnormal (not bad, just more than the typical college experience of maybe one transfer and changing one's major once or twice) but COVID did fuck with things more than usual so no conclusions there.

The fixation on writing a novel and the long-shot of gaining enough success to focus on that full time - particularly right out of school or even before graduation - is either intuitive or possibly high Fi. I really do not think an ESTJ would have that idea - not that they wouldn't be a writer, but I don't think they would have had the same expectations surrounding payoff and would have assumed from the start that this will not be their career initially. For that matter I have my doubts on ENTJ, but it could be possible for INTJ.

The part about spontaneity actually fits really well with auxiliary Se or Ne, in that those types at your age will have moderation from Ni or Si respectively and will often want a combination of stability but also the ability to travel a lot and move around. The example you gave actually still seemed very spontaneous; a lot of ExTJs for example might really dislike doing nothing on a Friday night and would instead have something planned. What you describe sounds very go-with-the-flow, just in a low-key way.

The part about procrastination indicates that Ne is probably off the table but Se is possible; some SPs are pretty good at being realistic about getting things done and it sounds like you don't have the high Te motivation of "I must get this done early" (not that high Te users can't procrastinate or do things on time but not down-to-the-wire).

I often tie ambition/competitive nature to enneagram more than MBTI, but I will say a lot of Te users and especially Te-doms tend to be both. They don't have to be (and if they're only one, usually it's ambition over competition), but it's pretty common. Curiosity is complicated but not caring about how literally everything works does seem like it would rule out Ti and I'd fully agree there. The part about being frustrated by fandom distortion of characters is relatable to me and I feel that comes from a place of sensing, ie, were you not paying attention to canon, so that seems like a point towards high Se for you. The parts about advice and interpersonal relationships mostly just reinforce that you sound more like someone on the Fi-Te axis, which you already suspected, but again...being the advice friend, particularly from a caring position, seems more high Fi to me than INTJ; a lot of IxTJs (and definitely ExTJs) at your age are just not emotionally ready for that level of patience with anxiety. I know I wasn't.

I would also say focusing on the material things (travel, a liveable salary) is more in line with higher Se! Te users do have a measure of pragmatism, so again, can't rule out INTJ, but the travel especially is what's making me think Se is pretty high in your stack.

All in all? My guess is an ISFP with good time management skills, possibly with an enneagram 6 adding to the stability/pragmatism. That said I wouldn't totally rule out INTJ (possibly also enneagram 6?); I just think it's less likely.

#mbti #isfp #intj

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pochapal · 4 years ago

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rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking:

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3.

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it.

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with.

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

#Anonymous #long post #read all of this if you have vested interest in knowing intimate details about my life or whatever

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hillbillied · 4 years ago

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i found your post about andy and eddie's kinks from a couple of years ago and i was just wondering do you have any updated thoughts?

firstly, thank you anon!! I love writing these two!!

secondly fuck, I left this ask in the ‘box for a while because, double fuck, I couldn’t think of any kinks I hadn’t included in the OG post!! I am very sorry for the delay!

(I had to read through them to check, still crispy if I do say so... let’s see what else we can get in there. god I could go on a whole bunch more about the ones from the OG post lmao my fave losers in love having great sex!)

The Secret Kinks of Andrew Haldane and his Lieutenant, Edward Jones (pt.II)

(highly nsfw, 18+ only)

I’m gonna rag on Andy’s exhibitionism kink a little louder than before because it’s so embarrassing. going to the cinema is a chore because Andy doesn’t have the patience for long movies and he really can’t get behind anything that’s not a really fucking hilarious comedy or a truly gripping drama. anything even a little lacklustre (most of what’s on in the 50s) has his gaze wondering elsewhere

the amount of times Eddie has been enjoying his movie experience (he loves movies, btw, he didn’t get to go to many as a kid – think Gunny-level attention in the scene where the marines are watching For Whom the Bell Tolls) and suddenly a hand is brushing his knee. he can’t help but roll his eyes because Andy, good lord, can’t you enjoy the plot for five-fucking-minutes?

luckily for Andy, he’s got a semi-indulgent boyfriend or at least a condoning one; either Eddie will lift his longs legs and put them over Andy’s lap, teasing him with the weight whilst simultaneously giving him some cover to enjoy himself (in no relation to the movie) – or, if he’s feeling generous and equally turned on, he’ll give his stupid fucking would-be husband a hand so he can go back to his popcorn. Eddie’s got skilled fingers and only makes eye contact with his flustered, heavy-breathing boyfriend in scathing glances to show his “disapproval”

car sex is as normal to the two of them as breathing. it started fairly uncreative and vanilla, just screwing in the one long seat of Hillbilly’s pickup. it’s a little on the tight side but Eddie’s more flexible than many would believe. Andy loves having two hands just under his knees, pushing his thighs up against his chest so he can fuck him nice and deep. it has Eddie’s toes curling and his teeth gritted and colourful curses dripping out the cracked window (no AC means a real sweaty cab)

that, or Hillbilly will be riding Andy passenger side. he likes smoking in his car and he likes riding Ack Ack’s cock, so this is a win-win scenario. the leverage from the seat means he can light up while rolling his hips, humming around the cigarette. it’s an erotic sight for sure; Andy has to cover his eyes with his hand while laughing out a breathless “shit, Eddie…”

romantic evenings include soft kisses and mutual handjobs in the truck bed, after giving up on star gazing. less romantic evenings include parking somewhere discreet (or… not, because Andy’s exhibitionism is a nightmare and the 60s were pretty wild) to get them both out on the road. there’s sweaty handprints on the hood where Andy has Eddie bent over it, pinned between his chest and hot metal. it’s some of the hardest, roughest sex they have, and Andy usually uses Eddie’s t-shirt for leverage, something to twist into an psudo-harness to pull him back against his dick. Hillbilly likes to growl out threats – “you stain m’ car, Andy, I’ll fuckin’ kill you” – but it’s all a ruse to cover how there’s sweat dripping from his curls and how his pants for air are turning into moans and how he’s the one staining the tire where he’s cum, hard enough to have him flat out over the hood and gasping

this is all while the car is parked, of course. Andy loves giving Eddie head while he’s driving. it’s lucky Hillbilly’s had to drive bigger, scarier machines than a Ford, honestly. his disapproval (fake, every time) is portrayed where he grabs Andy’s hair and forces his cock down his throat. “Cop car” he’ll say, “gotta stay down”. he’s a lying sack of shit but it’s worth the sin to glance down at Andy when he lets him pull back, spittle running from his tongue and his coughing turning to a gasp then a moan in quick succession. it’s really difficult for Eddie not to grin super wide and push Andy’s head back down for more

(side note: Andy’s a service top so he gives great head, none of this fake dom shit. they each say the other gives it better because they are both weak for one another and stupidly in love)

gags become a thing after a while. Andy is an expert at introducing/asking about bedroom ideas without being condescending and he knows he has to decipher Eddie’s interest without it sounding like he wants him to shut the fuck up. (he does not, he loves everything that comes out of Hillbilly’s mouth, from stone-cold threat to lazy joke to breathless groan)

but a thing they do become. (it starts with Andy shoving a couple of fingers in Eddie’s mouth to “keep quiet”, an old familiar trick from the war, and it snowballs from there) so the next time Andy’s bent over Eddie, facing him and maybe got his hands pinned above his head, and Eddie decides to let off a quip, Ack Ack stops. slows his motions and pretends to think, then reaches for his master plan. the first time, it’s just fabric, shoved into Hillbilly’s mouth. his pink cheeks (from semi-annoyance or embarrassment, not sure) and deep frown and almost-offended stare are fucking priceless

(Andy buys a proper gag, one Eddie can bite down on. one he can grab the back of and pull Hillbilly’s head back with so he can kiss his neck, tell him how fucking hot his moans are when they’re all he can make)

collars slip in there somewhere. they’re not sure where that came from but there’s a suspicion it may have come from the wholesome conversation about adopting a dog (which they both want to do they’re just terrified of going to pick one and falling in love with more and then what are they gonna do?? have fifty dogs?? but I digress)

Andy’s not one to be embarrassed of his sex purchases but he was definitely scratching his neck when he bought it. luckily, his boyfriend can read him like a goddamn book. the man likes being in control, sure, dominating the room in his own masterful way, definitely – that doesn’t change the look of complete adoration that takes Andy’s features when Eddie buckles the collar around his neck

it fits well with Andy’s orgasm denial kink. he doesn’t do it to Eddie much (he’s got enough kinky shit he can do to him) but Hillbilly definitely does it to him. it’s a treat to test Andy’s self-restraint and not with any bondage. Eddie’s a very patient man, used to unfulfilling sex prior to Ack Ack, so he’s got all the time in the world. he loves making Andy wait, teasing him with a grip around the base of his cock. he gets a cock ring for him later, when his tight grip isn’t cutting it anymore

there’s nothing better than watching Andy’s thighs tremble, sat on his own hands on a chair, desperately keeping his cool while Hillbilly carefully lowers himself onto his cock (Eddie uses that collar to get him to look him in the eye)

they usually can’t be bothered with food play (“Food is f’ eatin’, Andrew, not wastin’.”) but there’s occasional things. Andy has a tendency to take Eddie’s fingers in his mouth and lick them clean, whether from an accidental or purposely spillage. he doesn’t really care what’s on them so long as it’s edible and he can watch Hillbilly’s lip curl watching him

Eddie’s definitely done a “spillage” of his own once or twice. except his are obvious, just how he likes them; he’ll straight up pour a splash of beer on his dick and invite Andy to come lap it up. his house, his rules and all. Andy always obliges

Eddie gives a great spit ‘n shine to boots, Andy’s found. he loves demanding Eddie get on his knees and do the daily duties he learned as a marine, making sure his captain’s uniform is in order. (slightly funny if Ack Ack’s not wearing anything but his boots while saying it, but he can live with that) having Hillbilly look up at him – “Like this, Skipper?” - as he runs his tongue across the leather is more than worth it

Eddie likes tearing open clothes, though he feels really, really bad about it. it’s obvious it turns him on because Andy loses a lot of shirt buttons over the years. (they sew them back on together, which is nice, gotta know how to mend and make do. Eddie actually knows a lot about cross stitch and Andy adores learning from him)

one time Andy’s waving his ass Eddie’s way, has been for a whole morning whilst they were gardening, potting flowers, weeding the lawn, working, Andy, we’re busy – so it’s just been a build up of hard-ons and no time to deal with them. and they’re wearing old clothes for the task, threadbare jeans. (that used to be Eddies, even the ones on Andy’s ass) so when Hillbilly finally presses up against Andy, bites his ear, and grabs his pants with both hands - he just pulls. they tear open and Andy feels Eddie shudder against him (shortly before he feels Hillbilly’s cock pushing inside him but that’s just a massive bonus)

Andy’s an indulgent boyfriend so he buys underwear and pants on the cheap and waves them Eddie’s way. the “rippables” as he calls them. made to be ripped, end of. no hard feelings, good riddance to them

I said they were too lazy for bondage because they can just pin each other and I stand by it; it remains a special thing. one of the ‘hardcore’ things, like the belt and gun play. mainly because, while they can actually pin each other down quite effectively with limited wiggle room, there’s still the ability to y’know, headbutt each other. because they’re also both trained in how to flip a guy that grabs you. fatally, if need be

so tying Eddie up (Andy’s always been down to be tied up, blindfolded, etc. by Eddie because he trusts literally one man in the whole world and it’s Edward Jones) is a big thing. because Eddie has had to fuck people up who tried to fight him and his brute strength is what’s gotten him through (finding something capable of realistically holding him is also a struggle in sexual hilarity because fuck, it’s gotta be thick rope or actual police handcuffs)

when Andy asks him about it (and presents the short length of rope he went for because he couldn’t find handcuffs yet) Eddie immediately says yes. because he trusts Andy completely. but he also says not tonight and not every night and not any time he can see it coming. if he works himself up about it, he’ll embarrass himself

when it does happen (Andy’s can read him right back, he knows when), Eddie ends up with his hands tied behind his back. he jokes about Ack Ack’s poor navy knotwork and gets a laugh back. then Andy slow bends him over the bed. that’s all Eddie thought he’d do, which isn’t a bother, long legs are still able to roll away. until Andy kneels down below him, caressing his thigh lovingly, and nudges his legs open. Eddie ends up standing bent over on the mattress with each ankle tied to a leg of their heavy bed frame

it’s a lot but Andy takes his time, kisses his way up from Eddie’s calf all the way to the back of his neck, keeping a hand pressed to his inner thigh. the tremble there is aroused and overwhelmed all in one. the first time, Ack Ack just enjoys giving his boyfriend a nice, slow handjob, supporting himself over Hillbilly so he can feel his weight. it’s amazing to have Eddie coming apart under him, whispering for more until he gets a shaking orgasm, biting the sheets to try and cover how loud he whimpers (it’s too much for Andy, too, and he cums just from rubbing between Eddie’s thighs)

Andy’s trademark aftercare is as excellent as ever and they sit together with some tea on the bed, listen to the radio, Eddie leaning against his chest with two loving arms around him. he asks if next time Ack Ack will fuck him and naturally, Andy just says “if you want me to” while kissing his temple. Hillbilly wipes his face and asks “please”

#andyeddie #the pacific #very not saif 4 wurk but i cant tag it that because tumblr algorithy

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makeste · 5 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 247: Todoroki Angst

Previously on BnHA: Ujiko started some kind of procedure on Tomura to make him even more powerful, because that’s what we were all asking for at the end of the last arc, isn’t it? “Horikoshi can you go ahead and make the homicidal nihilist even stronger please and thank you.” Well not to worry, because he’s got our backs! Meanwhile Hawks poked around the villain HQ trying to find out more details about That End Of The World Thing That’s Happening In 4 Months, and came up with squat. But he did successfully pass on his secret message to Endeavor about how “THE CHILDREN ARE OUR ONLY HOPE,” so Endeavor shrugged and was like “fine, HEY CHILDREN, LET’S GO FIGHT CRIME.” Anyways, so I was thinking, do you suppose they all just figured out they’re actually in a shounen manga? Because that would explain a lot.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor gathers the kids together and is all “so tell me about yourselves.” Deku is all “I have two quirks shut up it’s not weird” and says he wants to get better at harnessing his power so that he can use it without it being destructive. Kacchan is all “I’m already strong but I want to become better as a person” and I appreciate how the other characters are able to hold themselves back from exclaiming, “THIS KID’S REDEMPTION ARC... IT’S TOO POWERFUL...!” because I sure the fuck would have if I was there. And then Shouto is all “hey dad, friendly reminder that I’m here because I want to get stronger to reach my own goals, but you’re still a shitty dad and I hate your guts.” Endeavor, to his credit, reacts very appropriately to all three kids (including a resigned “got it” to Shouto, which was in fact the only appropriate response, so props to him for that), and dives right on in to mentoring the shit out of them. He then delivers a challenge -- defeat at least one villain without him beating them to the punch. So that should be fun, and I mean that with complete sincerity. Bring it!

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

oooooh shit we’re starting right on a continuation of the Fuyumi panel from last week. TODOROKI DRAMA ARC INCOMING. THIS IS IT BOYS. THE BIG ONE

omg omg omg

friendly reminder that chapter 242, in which this internship was first announced, came out on September 6. that is six whole weeks that we’ve been waiting for this internship to actually get started for real. I WAS PROMISED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND UNUSUAL INTERACTIONS AND UNLIKELY BONDS BEING FORMED. and I have been patient, because In Horikoshi We Trust, but is it finally that time now? I just need them to stop hinting at it and finally get to it before I lose my mind okay

so Endeavor is asking Baku and Deku for their character profiles

Deku: “I used to break bones on demand, now I shoot wind from my fists along with the occasional Venom Symbiote”

Bakugou: “I blow shit up and I also have your character development arc, but fast-tracked so that it kicked in before I could fully become a massive prick like you”

meanwhile Shouto just sits there pouting because as we know from the Babysitter’s Club arc (and also from the Sports Festival arc, during which he dragged Deku into a hallway and was all “time to tell you about my tragic past” completely unprompted), he actually has his own character profile on standby ready to go at a moment’s notice, but everyone just keeps it benched all the time. poor Shouto

(ETA: he will not be silenced!!)

so Endeavor is phrasing this in the weirdest way possible, asking them to state “their current ‘assignments’” lol what. at least the second part of this is clearer, with him asking what they want to gain from this internship

okay so Deku says he wants to control his power so that he can “move at max performance.” yes that’s a very good goal for you, World’s Last Hope

lmaoooo

“weren’t you the kid who broke every bone in his arms several times in succession while attempting to KO my youngest child.” way to make an impression Deku

so Deku patiently explains that, yes, but we’re WELL BEYOND the whole bone-breaking stage now and currently at the “trying to master my new SECRET POWER which is still under wraps” stage. get with the times, Endeavor

hahaha here we go. this is so painfully awkward

“yeah so I kind of have a second quirk now. you know. as one does. please ignore how the only other known person to ever have multiple quirks just so happens to be the greatest villain of all time who is currently incarcerated in Tartarus following his last stand during which the number one hero lost all his power. that’s not relevant. anyways so yeah, two quirks, it’s totally normal and not a big deal at all”

what the actual fuck is he going to do once quirks # 3, 4, 5, etc. come along? this is such a disaster it’s not even funny. and by the way, this whole time I’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room that is Katsuki’s face while Deku nearly spills the beans about his so-called secret. but let’s all just acknowledge that it’s amazing and it belongs in a museum

thankfully Endeavor has had more than enough of exercising his brain today after all of that codebreaking, and isn’t even bothering to ask any questions. instead he’s just like, “show me.” probably the right call; easier to just see wth he’s going on about rather than keep listening to this strange and incredibly suspicious explanation

here we go guys time for some BLOOP

that’s because you’re still scared of it! boy if you’re not going to listen to Katsuki then I hope Endeavor can knock some sense into you at least!

you know, Endeav may be scowling so hard his face is gonna get stuck that way, but so far he’s not half bad at this mentoring/coaching thing

really appreciate how he jumps straight into asking pertinent questions about what Deku wants to do with this new quirk, rather than being all “how the fuck do you go from breaking all of your bones to THAT”

so now Deku’s explaining how it works and says he’s been applying the same principles that he uses with Air Force

LMAOOOOO

this right here is the most accurate introduction to Deku that Endeavor could ever have possibly received. THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE CHARACTER

and it also neatly sums up his whole problem with Blackwhip as well, which is just that he’s way overthinking it. no fucking wonder he can’t do anything with it yet! he’s trying to run NASA-level calculations in his head in real time while using it, like wtf. just let loose boi

also can we stop and appreciate how both Bakugou and Shouto are just fucking done. like, Bakugou is one thing, but just look at Todoroki fucking Shouto, Deku’s #1 fan and admirer, being all “wtf I hate Deku now”

LMAO AGAIN

Burnin’ is quickly rising through my favorite character ranks. meanwhile Shouto has gleaned, quite correctly, that those were in fact words coming from Deku’s mouth. what kind of words is a mystery, but at least it’s something

omfg Endeavor can speak Deku

(ETA: one of the things I’m noticing on a reread is how Endeavor is approximately twice the size of the kids. and it’s not like they’re small or anything. but they look like toddlers next to him. he’s only 6′4″ how is he towering over them to this degree.)

I feel like Endeavor’s intelligence levels fluctuate from week to week. or even from panel to panel. enigma

so blah blah blah he’s thinking to himself “his raw power rivals All Might’s” and then -- ! LOOK AT THIS SHIT

SOFT ENDEAVOR ADOPTING DEKU WTAF. holy shit. if anyone says they saw this coming, I’m calling you out as a fucking liar. BUT I’M HERE FOR IT OMG

AND NOW THIS ONE’S TURN!

(ETA: Kacchan is 5′7″. pretty sure Endeavor is actually 8 feet tall.)

lmao Deku’s face. trying to work out what this means and whether it’s good or bad

meanwhile, after the multiple pages of extensive rambling from Deku, Endeavor is about to get an introduction from Bakugou which will likely just consist of “I WANT TO BECOME THE NUMBER ONE” with absolutely no introspection whatsoever. basically the polar opposite of Deku. gotta love it

HERE WE GO

ooh, unexpected! though still brusque. but to be fair, he’s gifted when it comes to saying a lot in few words

(ETA: out of the three, Kacchan definitely took up the least amount of time with his introspection. not bad for a kid who used to think the entire fucking world revolved around him. growth!)

now he’s bitching at Burnin’ for not having anything better to do than stand around heckling them lmao

SHE’S HERE TO PROVIDE COMMENTARY KATSUKI SHHH. in other news, today I learned that Burnin’ is actually me. huh

OH MY GOD KATSUKI IS METAING -- !! [ELBOWS MY WAY INTO THE FRONT ROW] EVERYONE FUCKING SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!!!!

OH MY GOD

y’all Katsuki really just fessed up and admitted to needing to work on his growth as a person rather than his physical ability. along with a NEW ADORABLE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK, EXCUSE ME WHILE I ORDER PRINTS OF THIS TO PUT IN MY WALLET

AND HERE WE GO NOW, THE WHOLE “I WANT TO SURPASS THE NUMBER ONE” PART. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN I EXPECTED, KATSUKI YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ME PROUD! LOOK HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO BE A BETTER PERSON

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, IF YOU’RE NOT ROOTING FOR BAKUGOU KATSUKI THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS MANGA HONESTLY

OMG ENDEAVOR

“this kid...” REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE, DOESN’T HE! OH MY GOD I NEED TO SIT AND CALM DOWN AND DRINK SOME WATER

anyway so do you love him. YOU BETTER SAY YES!!

LMAO SHOUTO COULDN’T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER

LET’S HEAR IT THEN, FIVE PEEPEE MAN!!

Endeavor is whipping back around on him all “I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE TO MASTER YOUR NEW TECHNIQUE” with this look of borderline panic on his face that implies to me that it’s one thing to take on two new kids with no familiar baggage, and quite another to have to deal with his own son’s personal angst which is directly related to his own worst personal shortcomings and sins! but that’s just too bad, Endeavor! also, fuck you!

OH MY GOD TODOROKI SHOUTO HAS THE SOFTEST SADDEST EXPRESSION AND THIS SPEECH IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY WHAT THE HELL

even Kacchan has gone soft. meanwhile, is somebody cutting onions in here or

(ETA: also, Kacchan really has been promoted to best friend status, hasn’t he? or co-best friend at least. Shouto really does value their time training together, huh. “spending time with these guys.” anyways so this officially is the TodoBakuDeku arc, sorry everyone I don’t make the rules.

also! I really love how Shouto’s character development has been all about him finally figuring out what it is that he wants. one way or the other, Endeavor has been the focus of his life since childhood. everything he did was centered around him, even when it was centered around defying him. it was still always him, and never Shouto. because he’d been raised as his father’s tool, he struggled with feeling like anything he achieved was just giving his father exactly what he wanted. so he never really had the freedom to strive toward his own goals until Deku finally broke him free of that mindset. it wasn’t until he was surrounded by others who shared the same dream he’d once had that he was able to move past the toxic part of that resentment. not to say that it wasn’t justified, because it was! and is, still. but all the same, it was hurting him at least as much as it ever hurt Endeavor, if not much more so.

so I really like the message his arc sends here, which is that forgiveness is not so much for the benefit of the one who hurt you as it is for yourself. and that’s obviously not the right word for it, by the way -- “forgiveness” -- but it’s just a placeholder for lack of a better one. because obviously as we can see, he hasn’t forgiven him, but what he has done is put that part of his past behind him. for his own sake, for his own peace, which he deserves. anyways guys Shouto is so fucking strong and I love him so damn much. shit.)

“y’all didn’t think I was gonna put the Terrible Trio together with Endeavor and not follow through on it with piles and piles of Todoroki angst,” Horikoshi says, casually filing his nails with one eyebrow raised. “c’mon”

here it comes y’all

ain’t no force on this earth more dramatic than a Todoroki. did he somehow get a wind blowing in from somewhere. aren’t they indoors

loool Endeavor getting DRAGGED LIKE AN UNTIED SHOELACE in front of these kids he just met two seconds ago, oof. “don’t forget dad, just because I’ve mellowed out a bit and accepted that I need to learn how to use my fire side doesn’t mean I don’t still hate your guts because BOY DO I.” oh damn

so your kid is justifiably pissed at you for your decade and a half of abuse, not to mention annoyed that you’re just putting it all behind you now and acting like it never happened. but it’s not like it’d make things any better if he just went back to acting like a jerk with these new kids! so here we all are, with no easy answers for this situation. what’s a 45-year-old man trying to make up for his past sins to do

(ETA: boy I just took a stroll around the ol’ fandom and a lot of people have really strong feelings about this huh. the most common sentiment seems to be “YAASSSS SHOUTO”, which I can 100% get behind. but it seems like a lot of people are also angry that Shouto is in this situation to begin with. specifically, we have the usual faction of people who are upset that Endeavor is getting any kind of redemption arc at all, and would prefer if he remained eminently hatable and shunned and detested for the rest of his days.

and look, I get it. humans are hardwired to want things to be fair. we want karma. kindness should beget kindness, and cruelty should net you the same treatment in return. reap what you sow. and while some crimes occasionally fall into a grey area, it hardly gets more black and white than Endeavor’s case. not only is there the child and spousal abuse, there’s also the incredibly dubious consent issues that arise in the case of an arranged marriage. like, there’s really no question that what he’s done is bad. so to see behavior like that “rewarded” by his becoming the number one hero, and to see people actually admiring him, and to watch him taking steps to turn his life around even as his wife and children struggle to gather the shattered pieces of their own lives -- yeah, that’s gonna trigger something in a lot of people. because it’s not fair. he hurt good people who didn’t deserve it, and all of this makes it seem like he’s getting away with it.

but here’s the thing -- there are different types of penance. there’s punishment, but there is also atonement. and Endeavor is getting his just desserts in some ways -- by being forever denied the chance to reach the goal that he worked his whole life toward, and by finally developing a conscience, the better to fully experience the remorse of knowing the pain he brought about to his family. but what’s arguably more important than that is that he also has the opportunity to try and atone for some of the terrible things he’s done, by doing good in the world now. he is a hero. his job is to help people. every day he is making the world a little better by doing that. and that, to me, is such a fascinating idea: a terrible person doing good things. and it’s something that feels almost counterintuitive, and that’s part of why a lot of people have so much trouble accepting it, I think. but it’s a fact of life, isn’t it? if good people can do bad things, then it stands to reason that the reverse is true as well.

and I’ll just come right out and say it -- for me, if it comes down to a choice of having someone be punished, or having them be forced to do good things to atone, I’m gonna go with the latter just about every time. because while it may not feel quite as viscerally satisfying, it’s the option that produces the greatest net benefit for the world. without Endeavor, the world would have one less person out there battling evil. and as I suspect we’re going to continue to see in this arc, there are other, subtler ways that he can still do good as well.

so yeah. it’s a tricky thing. but to be honest, the ability to explore this type of complexity is one of the things I respect the most about Horikoshi’s storytelling. he’s not taking the easy way out here. he’s not giving us easy answers one way or the other. no matter what kind of resolution we get to this character arc, it’s not going to be something that will satisfy everyone. but that’s just how it is. anyways, apologies for the rant.)

hmmm Endeavor

yeah you really read that one wrong. anyway I guess it’s your turn to make a speech now

...

classic Endeavor

(ETA: actually truth be told, that was quite eloquent, and pretty much the only thing he could have said in response to all that. it’s not like he can even begin to justify all of his actions, and pretty much anything else that came out of his mouth would have come off like an attempt to dismiss his son’s feelings, or him trying to weasel out of taking responsibility. there is pretty much nothing else he can say here except for “I understand. that’s valid, and I fucked up.” which this is pretty much acknowledging. anyways this whole chapter is basically the sequel/continuation to 192 and I’m loving it omg.)

so he says he’ll watch over the three of them as a hero, and lead them in hero stuff

oh, I wasn’t going to post this panel, but now Endeavor’s saying “those are the three fundamental skills sought after from a hero” so I guess I should, huh

ooh he says that generally heroes will choose to specialize in either rescue or battle, but his policy is to kick ass at all three. well that’s one similarity between him and All Might, at least. if you’re not here to both win and rescue then what are you even doing with your life am I right

damn there really is a reason why this guy is the number one huh

okay, like. not to knock like 99% of the other heroes out there, but is anyone else sitting there thinking “wow, finally someone competent” or is it just me. like, I really do get a sense of “he’s got it all under control” from him which is lacking with pretty much all of the other heroes. no wonder society is on the verge of being in shambles. what we really need is for all heroes to be this capable, and not just All Might or Endeavor or whoever happens to be the current number one

okay, Endeavor is really out here being a genuinely good mentor, I’m speechless

holy shit

-- WHAT, NO! ARE WE ALREADY DONE?? WHY

okay but I do love that, though. it’s a perfect goal for them. difficult, but not impossible at the rate they’re growing. and it also just so happens to be something that they need to be able to do if they really are going to be the shoulders that society is resting all of its hopes upon. and last but not least, it’s something that all three of them will be able to set their minds too gladly. kick this old man’s ass, kids

anyways. ladies and gentlepeople this chapter was only thirteen pages. shortest chapter we’ve had in a minute. but at least it was densely packed! even if Shouto took up like half of it with his Daddy Issues Speech. that’s okay Shouto we always welcome your daddy angst

all in all I am satisfied. character development, and finally a clear goal for the arc. though part of me would also love it if they manage to achieve this in like the very next chapter. you never know with these wunderkinds lol

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 247 #endeavor #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha meta #makeste reads bnha #well here I am back from six flags at 1:30 a.m. and ready to rant about bnha in the middle of the night #I guess technically speaking it's not *that* late #in tumblr time anyway #anyway my bad sorry guys!

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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

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Seaside Rendezvous - Part 3

READ PART 1 // PART 2

Request: Can you please write a hc for going on a island vaca at a resort with your family after college finals and you meet joe (also a college student) and you two see each other a ton but you are always with your family so not much happens but flirty small talk and you both end up having a lot of sexual tension and go into one of your rooms when you’re family is out and just some smut happens?

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (FINALLY) 18+, Golf related double entendres, not-quite-hate sex, unprotected sex,but also protected sex, choking, oral sex (m & f receiving), mild spanking, shower sex, mentions of edging, handjob.

Words: 8969

A/N: Ummmm, I don’t even know what to say. I kinda can’t believe I’ve finished it. Or how many words I took to do it. Thank you so fucking much to the anon who sent in the original request because this was so much fun to write. I really hope you enjoy the payoff for all the bullshit I put them through in the first two chapters. It might just be because I’m still so close to this story but I kinda wanna write more for them so if you have blurb requests about what else they got up to or whatever send them my way lmao

Taglist: @laedymoon @somekind-ofcheese @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @bowiequeen @hannafuckingsucks @bemy-clementine

@ramibaby @briarrose26 @d34d-0n-th3-1ns1d3 @painkiller80 @stephydearestxo

You cursed yourself when you woke and remembered what was in store for the day. You cursed your Mom for being so intent on manipulating your love life. You cursed your Dad for being the type of guy who would make friends with the first man he talked to. You cursed Joe for being the first man your Dad talked to. And for everything else that’d happened last night. And then you cursed yourself again for getting stuck in this position and for flirting with Joe in the first place and for not sleeping with him when you had the chance. The very quick orgasm you’d been able to rub out before the rest of your family returned to your rooms wasn’t anywhere near enough. It wasn’t what you wanted. Maybe if you’d had a bit more time it would have been more satisfying. But you hadn’t been sure how long they’d take to finish their meal or whether they’d come straight up to the rooms or hang out downstairs for a while, so you’d rushed. It was almost worth it, though, to see your mother so surprised to find you sitting up in bed reading. She’d almost jumped when she realised you were there, hand landing over her heart like you’d sprung out from behind a wall and yelled boo. Of course, she’d had to pretend otherwise in front of Erin, not wanting to explain where she thought you’d actually be. Thank god she was going to be occupied all day because you did not want to have the ‘I just think you should socialise with people your own age’ talk that was all poorly hidden code for ‘I’m hungry for gossip and your sex life is the best thing to potentially tell everyone about’. The reminder that your Mom and Erin would be busy made you curse Joe again. If he’d not been such an impatient dick about it, you probably would have had the entire day to yourselves, to spend however you wanted wearing as few clothes as you deemed necessary. Instead you’d be spending the day with your Dad. Playing golf.

Joe, wearing a red polo shirt that looked way too good on him, greeted you stiffly when you met up with him and your father at the entrance to the golf course, obviously displeased about how last night had gone. He barely looked at you as you hired out clubs and made your way to the first hole, though you thought you might have caught him peeking at your ass once or twice. It’d be a lie to say you’d not specifically chosen the shorts you wore because of how good they made you look, though you weren’t sure if it was because you wanted to make Joe suffer a little or to tempt him into touching you again. Maybe a bit of both. Either way, he remained aloof, mostly ignoring you, for the first couple of holes anyway. If your Dad noticed any tension between you and Joe, he didn’t let on, talking to you both about the game and constantly sharing tips he’d picked up over the years. By hole number three he’d had made a couple of bad hits, having to head into a sand trap to retrieve his ball. Which left you and Joe. Standing there. Waiting. He cracked first. “Didn’t expect you to show,” he sneered, one eye on your father. “And miss this? You’re in a charming mood by the way,” “I’m not in any mood, I’m just a little tired.” “Sure, if you say so. Just, tell me this one thing. Is that because you were up all night thinking about me?” There was a triumphant cry from your father as he finally managed to get his ball free of the sand. You clapped as he returned to where you and Joe were standing, taking a theatrical bow. “Sorry, I’m usually a bit better than that.” “Don’t worry Dad, me and Joe aren’t very good so it’s probably better for us if you’re having an off day.” Alright Joe, you’re up,” your Dad said with a laugh, “Just remember to grip your shaft softly and stroke it smooth and you’ll get it in the hole no problem.” “And maybe don’t feel the ball up under the dinner table,” you said soft enough so only Joe would hear as he walked past you to line up his shot. You weren’t sure if he was just generally terrible at golf, or because you’d got inside his head, but either way it took him three tries to hit the ball and when he did he sent it off in the wrong direction. “Oh, bad lucky Joey,” you teased as he scowled at you. “As if you could do better,” “Watch me.”

You did do better, thank god, though not by much. You hadn’t gotten to the hole, but you were at least in the right general area. It was enough to piss Joe off further, his competitiveness coming out with his frustration. At the next hole he managed to get the ball in first try, earning a hearty congratulations from your Dad and a half-hearted one from you. “It’s because he took my advice,” your Dad said proudly, “I told him to put his head down and spread his legs a bit and see Y/N, he did it and it worked, straight in the hole. Maybe you should give it a shot too.” “Yes, Y/N, why don’t you try spreading your legs a bit more,” Joe laughed. You resisted the urge to ask him for a hands-on demonstration as you took your own, much less successful shot. As soon as your Dad was far enough away, leading you on to the next hole, Joe turned back to you. “Careful Y/N, more shots that pathetic and I might just win.” “You got lucky.” “Only right one of us should.” “Aww, you still mad I left you high and dry last night? Your hand just not good enough?” “Don’t act like you had any better. Besides, you don’t know I didn’t go off and find someone else. You’re not the only girl who can dress slutty and play at being the damsel in distress. “Nice try but the jealousy card won’t work. Already admitted to thinking about me all night.” “I did not admit that.” “Not intentionally but I can see it in your eyes. I saw it the moment you said good morning to me.” “Fine, maybe you’re right. I was thinking about you alone in your room, touching yourself. Trying to decide if you’d be using your fingers or if you were extra naughty and brought a toy with you.” “And how’d that work out for you?” “A shit night sleep actually. And I couldn’t make up my mind, both were such nice images. But I did come to one conclusion,” “Yeah?” “Yeah. You were thinking about me while you did it.” You were left scrambling to form a coherent sentence as he laughed and walked ahead.

By the ninth hole things were overtly competitive. Your Dad’s game had picked up, putting him well in the lead but you and Joe barely noticed, much too desperate to outdo the other to worry about anything else. Days of frustration, sexual and otherwise, had boiled into a competitiveness neither of you realised you were capable of. The in between moments, while you were unable to focus your aggression onto your balls, were spent at each other’s throats. Whispered comments ranging from insulting your game to insulting his manhood. Condescending tones and lazy double entendres. When you were trying to determine which of your clubs would be best Joe leaned over and cockily offered you one of his. “You could try my 5-Wood. Bigger head means you might have a chance of getting close.” “Sorry, Joe. Your clubs don’t have long enough shafts for me, couldn’t possibly be satisfying.” When he took an inordinately long time to make a shot you told him he could bang it in the back or slip it in gently but either way to hurry up. He fumbled it completely. Then, after your next swing he made sure to complement you on your bounce while staring directly at your chest. At hole 14 things got a little more personal. You casually let slip that you were, in fact, using your fingers last night, and asked Joe if knowing that for sure would have helped him sleep better. “You’re a fucking cock tease, Y/N,” he growled, “I don’t think you ever intended to sleep with me, you just get off from leading people on. Well I’m fucking done with it; you can go choke.” “Oh, kinky. Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.” He huffed out a breath but otherwise didn’t respond.” “Don’t go quiet on me now, right when I’ve learnt about your little kink. You’d like to choke me, wouldn’t you? Did you think about it last night, while you were, y’know...?” you made a jerk off motion with your hand. “You’re right, I would like that, anything to shut you up for half a minute, but don’t pretend you’re not hot for it too. I can see you dripping from here.” “Well, you know me, I get off from being a tease apparently. You’re up. Try to hit the ball straight this time.”

The score at the end of the game was in your favour, but not by much. Your Dad just smiled at you as you cheered, amused by your celebrating but Joe was gritting his teeth. “Well that was fun,” your Dad said glancing at his watch, “do we want to play a few more rounds? It’s still fairly early,” “Actually, I really should head back,” Joe said, all smiles and polite words to your father, though perhaps a little more tart than he normally would have spoken, “I’ve got a thing booked for this afternoon so I probably should go shower and get changed. It’s been fun though; we should do this again.” “Not to worry Joe, thanks for indulging me today,” they shook hands and then Joe shouldered past you to return his clubs. “What about you Y/N? Up for some more?” “As fun as that sounds, I think I might head off too. I’ve been thinking about a mocktail and a bubble bath for the last three holes. Since the room’s free I might make hay while the sun shines.” "Cold drink doesn’t sound half bad now that you say that.” He walked with you back towards the main part of the resort, laughing and chatting about the game you’d just played, and commenting on how he’d missed having your sanity round the house. Joe was a little way ahead of you, but you determinedly kept your eyes anywhere but on the back of his head. On the off chance that he might turn around you didn’t want him to think you were staring at him. At the entrance to the lobby your Dad bid you farewell, heading off in the direction of the bar and leaving you to make your way upstairs.

Inside was quiet, most guests already out enjoying the sun and the sea. A handful of people milled around by the front desk with their suitcases, waiting to check into, or out of, their rooms and a few people wearing not much more than their bathers hurried past as you approached the elevator. The only other person waiting to head up to their room turned, eyes following a bikini clad woman, though he stopped once his vision met you. “There she is, The Tease. Heading off to make some other poor bastard miserable?” “You’re only miserable because you suck at golf. Fucking sore loser too, running off the second you found out I’d beat you.” “It was two points, it barely counts.” “Three points,” there was a ding and you followed Joe into the elevator, “And you of all people should know it’s not the size of the score that matters, only who you fuck over with it.” The words were barely out of your mouth before Joe was on you, pushing you up against the back wall and kissing you hungrily. If you’d been shocked by his sudden movement it didn’t last long, quickly giving way to the need to kiss him back. Your nails scraped at his shirt as you tried to press your bodies closer, helped by his hand sliding down to squeeze your ass as he pulled your hips into his. He leaned his other arm on the wall beside your head, anchoring you into place, not that you had any intention of trying to escape. He kissed you like he did at the market, needily and messily, though the intensity was a hundred times more, desire and frustration burning through you both. “Thought you said you were done with me,” you tried to sound disdainful as he pulled away, still firmly pinning you to the wall, but the words came out as more of a gasp than a sneer. “I said I was done with your teasing,” he managed to achieve the harsh tone you’d been going for as a second ding caught you by surprise and the elevator reached your floor, “C’mon,” he half growled, grabbing your hand to pull you down the corridor towards his room. You couldn’t help but giggle as he pushed you inside, still pissed off with him but more than a little giddy at the prospect of finally being able to do what you’d been wanting to do since you first saw him. He towered over you as he backed you further into the room, towards his bed, roughly tugging at your shirt, pulling it over your head and throwing it to the floor, before doing the same with his. You felt the back of your legs hit the bed and for a moment everything froze, both of you breathing hard. And then his hand was on your shoulder, pushing you down across the mattress, your legs dangling over the edge. He wasted no time in pulling your shoes and socks off as you unhooked your bra, tossing it aside. Your shorts came off next, followed quickly by your panties. “Already soaked for me,” his voice was rough and so were his fingers as he pushed your legs up and open wider, and delved into your heat, stoking the fire that had been building for days as he stretched you out. “Y-you say that like you haven’t been sporting a s-semi every time you’ve thought about me for the last-t four days. Oh fuck.” You whined as Joe wrenched his fingers free of you to dig through his bedside draw, ”No need to complain, gonna give you something better than my fingers in a second,” “Y’know your dick is in your pants, not the draws,” “Remember when a simple kiss could have you speechless? Fuck I miss that.” “What are you doing?” “Looking for a condom, swore I put them here.” “Are you clean? Cause I’m clean and on the pill and sick of waiting.” “You sure?” He asked already tugged his short and underwear off. “Yes, I’m sure. Just fuck m –,” you were cut off, breath catching in your throat as he thrust into you. “What was it you were saying about size? Seems I’m big enough to shut you up, finally.” And then he paused, swallowing thickly and squeezing his eyes shut as you both adjusted and revelled in the feeling.

The moment didn’t last long before he was taking you roughly, pushing gasps and whines from you with every snap of his hips. Neither of you were patient enough to slow down, desperate for a release from the energy that had pent-up with every flirtatious look and teasing word. “That - oh! - that the best you can do?” Joe didn’t bother to answer, just growled as he leaned over and moved one hand from your thigh to your throat. The tight squeeze of his fingers and the weight of his palm pressing into you made you clench down on his dick. He let out a low chuckle, “Knew you’d enjoy that. Been begging for it all morning.” You clutched at the sheets as he grabbed your ankle in his free hand and pulled your leg up, knee bent and foot resting over his shoulder. “Jesus,” he groaned as the change of position allowed him to sink deeper into you. All you could manage was a choked moan as he fucked you relentlessly, still squeezing your throat. He dropped his fingers to your clit, rubbing it in harsh circles that only made you moan more. “Please tell me you’re close,” he grunted. “Mmhm close, fuck Joe,” “Say that again,” “’m close,” “My name, say my name again,” You did one better, moaning his name as he released your throat completely. The rush of breath returning to you flooded your system making everything feel heightened, sending you careening into your orgasm. You chanted his name as you rode out your high and were still repeating it when he kissed you again, pulling out and following you over the edge, covering your stomach with his cum as your noses bumped together and you whined against his lips.

“Well,” you said, a little nervously, as he stood up and held out his hand to pull you up too. You felt a little unsteady as you stood, but Joe kept hold of your hand, his other reaching out to brush some of your hair behind your ear. “Yeah.” “Worth the wait?” “Absolutely.” He leaned in to kiss you softly, all traces of his previous mood gone. He was still standing close, foreheads almost touching when you softly said, “I gotta pee. And clean up,” waving a hand in front of your stomach. You both laughed as he let you go with a, “shit, yeah, of course,” and a lingering look. When you returned to the room he was waiting for you, bed covers draped over his lap as he leaned against the wall, a pillow shoved behind his back. His head was bent, attention focused on something in his hands though it was drawn back to you when you spoke. “So, that was something,” “Yeah, um, definitely something.” What’s that supposed to mean? You climbed into bed next to him, leaving a space between you as you made to lean against the wall like he was, blankets pulled a little higher to cover your chest. Instead he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side, shuffling closer so you could lean into him properly. “What you got there?” You pointed at the object that held his focus, a small package wrapped in brown paper. It crinkled as his fingers moved over it. “This,” he said, “was meant to be a goodbye present. I was going to give it to you on the last day we were both here as, umm, just like, a little, I don’t know, keepsake? It was going to come with a very funny note about how much fun I’d had fucking you into oblivion, or how your pussy was worth sneaking around behind your family’s backs or something like that. I haven’t written it yet, but it would have been fucking hilarious.” He paused, running his thumbs over the brown paper again, still looking at you, “Instead, I’d like to give it to you with an apology. For being such an ass.” “Joe, y-,” “I know you’re about to say I don’t have to, but I do. I was a dick. I knew you were specifically trying to keep your family uninvolved and I still did…. everything I did, and then I acted like a jerk to you today. So, I’m sorry.” He held out the package, but you didn’t take it straight away. “For the record, this is very sweet and you didn’t need to buy me anything…” “I know,” “… But I also wasn’t going to stop you from apologising. I’m really glad you did because last night sucked. But some of that was on me too. I was a bit of a dick too. But maybe not quite as much as you were,” Joe laughed and squeezed you tighter, “Will you just take the gift already so we can forget all that. It doesn’t matter.” You reached out for the package, sitting up a little straighter and unwrapping it slowly. The necklace and earrings he’d offered to buy you at the markets fell out onto your lap, a bright white and yellow plumeria on each item. “I went back and got them, that day at the market, after we separated. Do you like them?” “They’re lovely.” “I thought it’d be nice for you to have something physical you could keep, even after we leave.” “Thank you, I really love it,” you pulled him down into another kiss. “And again, they were going to be attached to a note about all the sex we, theoretically, had.” His face was serious as he spoke but there was a barely contained laugh in his voice that made you laugh too. “So, you’ve been imagining us having sex?” you swept the jewellery into your palm and leaned over to place it on the bedside table, “that demonstration just before, was that something you’d imagined?” “That was….not how I thought it’d go,” he said with a chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head, “not the first time anyway.” “How did you think it’d go?” “Less rough, for one. A bit clumsy and stuff but more…. intentional than it ended up being.” “So, not a spur of the moment thing after hours of winding each other up?” “Definitely not. I was going to be much more prepared. At least have a condom within easy reach. I found them by the way, I was looking in the wrong draw.” “You’re such a dork,” you giggled, shifting yourself to straddle his lap, looping your arms around his neck as his hands fell to your waist. “Think you’ve told me that before,” “Because it’s true. But I also imagined it’d go a bit differently.” “Different how?” “Like you said, less rough. I was also going to be on top, umm, because it’s been a while and I thought it’d be better if I was more in control.” “Y/N, shit,” Concern was written over his face but you cut him off before he could ask if you were okay. “No, it was good, Joe” you brought your hand to his cheek reassuringly, “really good. I’m happy with how it actually happened.”

He leaned in to kiss you again, smiling as he paused just before your lips touched. His breath was warm on your lips and you thought he probably would have said the same of yours, except that you’d stopped breathing. You closed the gap, a series of soft shallow kisses that gradually lingered longer, became deeper. Your chest felt tight and there were butterflies going wild in your gut. Perhaps it was the conversation you’d just had, vulnerable and candid, or just the dramatic shift from how you’d interacted earlier in the day. Whatever it was had you feeling more nervous than you had when he pushed you against the wall of the elevator or even when he tore off your clothes. He was more careful in the way he touched you, more deliberate, so you gathered he was feeling something akin to what you were. His fingertips rested softly against you, contrasted against the faint marks left from where he’d grabbed you so tightly before. Perhaps being so open had been a mistake. It wasn’t something you usually let happen after only knowing a guy for a few days. But, then again, it wasn’t like you had forever with Joe, just a few short weeks. He pulled you tighter against him, chests pressed together, and you tried to shut off your brain, stop overthinking and just focus on Joe and the moment at hand. It was slow this time. Before you’d been in a rush, desperate lust driving you to move fast and hard, spurring each other on. A feeling like if you didn’t hurry up and fuck you’d lose the chance. Even before that, when you’d kissed at the market, when you’d gotten so close in your bathroom, it was always rushed for fear of being caught out. But this time, there was none of that. That frantic need had mellowed. There was no clock to outrun, no chance of intrusion from well-meaning but unwanted relatives. You could take your time, soak each other in. And you did. Dragging your hands down over his shoulders until they rested against his chest, able to feel his heartbeat speed up under your palm. He brought his lips to your neck, pulling sighs and heavier breaths from you with each slight scrape of his stubble. Even when you finally rolled the condom down his shaft and lowered yourself onto him and he brought his hands up to cup your breasts and you moaned as you rode him, even then it was tender, almost delicate. A quiet sort of desire that drew you onwards until you were muffling your moans in his neck and quivering as you came undone

Afterwards you cleaned up and began to redress. Joe had slipped his underwear back on while you were in the bathroom, before collapsing back onto the bed. “What are you doing?” he said softly, watching as you picked up your shorts from where he’d thrown them into the floor. “You can’t expect me to walk back to my room half naked,” “I don’t go back to your room just yet.” “But my family…” “Are all busy,” he kneeled up and grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards the bed, “Your Mom and sister will still be occupied with the hula show and your Dad is probably having a nap or relaxing by the pool. We still have time.” “I don’t want them to see me leave here,” “They won’t. Just come back to bed for a little longer.” You worried at your lip for a few seconds, thinking it over. You’ve spent the last half a week wanting nothing more than to be in Joe’s bed, why are you in such a rush to leave? Finally, you nodded and dropped your shorts again, climbing back into bed in nothing but your shirt and panties. Joe wriggled closer, throwing his arm over you as you curled into him. “I’ll check if the coast is clear for you before you leave. And I’ll come up with some way to throw your mother off, okay?” “Thank you,” “Least I can do.” You shuffled around, getting comfortable, and lay your head against Joe’s shoulder. “Can I ask you something?” he said softly, “you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” “Sure, what is it?” “Your Mom mentioned a breakup, last night. I assume that’s got something to do with why,” he waved his hands around the both of you, “this is happening.” “Yeah, kind of. I guess I just need something casual at the moment, no strings, no labels, just fun.” “I can do fun,” “Yes, you’ve made that abundantly clear. What about you? There a particular reason you’ve had to come to Hawaii to get laid?” “You kid but that’s not actually that far from the truth. Started with a bad breakup more than a few months back. And I mean bad. Been in a bit of a dry spell ever since. One of my friends suggested I take a break after we were done with exams, just head off to somewhere new and use the time away to find myself or, whatever hippy bullshit he’s goes on about. But I figured, fuck it, why not go somewhere new.” “How’d you pick Hawaii?” “It was cheap and sunny. And there was a high chance of seeing some cute girls in bikinis.” “The three most important things to think about when booking a vacation.” “Well, seems to be working out well enough.” He let his hand slide down your side until it landed on your ass, squeezing it to make you laughed. “So what do you have in mind then? To throw Mom off I mean. Gonna make it a whole lot easier to sneak around if she’s not constantly watching us.” You talked quietly for a bit longer, plotting a potential plan, but, both worn out, it wasn’t long before your breathing evened out and you fell asleep with your head in the crook of Joe’s neck, his soft snores filing the otherwise silent room.

Waking up was hard, the nap not having lasted as long as you would have liked. Convincing yourself to get out of bed was harder still. You knew you had to so you could get ready to meet your family for dinner but the draw of staying cuddled up to Joe was very tempting. You hadn’t realised how much you’d missed the feeling of being so physically close to someone since you’d dumped Eddie. Plus, staying meant you got to make out some more and, really, that sounded like a wonderful way to spend the night. With a sigh you pushed yourself up and finished getting dressed. Joe stirred as you were slipping your shoes back on. “Where’re you going?” “Shower. And then down to dinner,” “What time is it?” “It’s like, six o’clock, just about.” “Shit, really? Guess you should go then.” “I’ll come back later, after Erin’s asleep,” you grabbed the jewellery Joe had given you from the bedside table, already planning on wearing it to dinner. “Pretty sure the last time you said you’d be back, you ended up ditching me to go drinking with your parents,” “Well if I don’t show up, you’ll know where I am. See you later.” “Wait!” Joe sat up suddenly, throwing back the covers “I said I’d help you sneak back.” “Stay in bed, I’m sure no one will see.” “No no no, I’ll check. Don’t want you getting mad at me again.” “I wouldn’t,” “You’ve withheld sex once before, I’m not risking it again, he laughed, throwing a shirt and shorts on, “besides, couldn’t let you leave without…” his lips were on yours in a heartbeat as he pulled you close. “That’s so unfair, making me wanna stay,” “Guess you’ll just have to make sure you come back then. Now wait here for my signal.” You chuckled as he slipped out the door, his footsteps treading slowly down the hall until he was in sight of your room. A moment later there was a knock at the door. You peeked out to find Joe, hand held up beside his face like a gun. He put a finger to his ear like he was listening to a hearing device, “Coast is clear. Safe to move. Go! Go! Go!” You laughed as you followed him quickly back down the hall, his finger gun drawn the whole way, holding it out as you rounded a corner. When you reached your room he waited until you’d pulled out your key before announcing, “The eagle is in the nest.” With a final glance around to double check you were definitely alone, you called him a dork again, leaned up to kiss him once more and then ducked into your room, grinning.

Dinner went slower than you wanted, but no one suspected you were lying when you said you’d spent the afternoon on the beach. Erin, unhelpfully, announced that she and your Mom had also been on the beach, but it was large enough and busy enough that it was reasonable for you not to have seen each other. There was also a question raised about your jewellery, but you covered by saying you’d bought it the day you bought Erin hers but had forgotten about it until that afternoon. Other than that the meal passed incident free. Afterwards you all made your way out to the pool to relax and have a drink or two. The only interruption was a brief lecture from your mother. From her position on a lounge, she caught sight of Joe heading towards the bar. If he’d been closer she probably would have called out to him, instead she suggested you go and get her a refill. Before you could do more than sigh and swing your legs off your own lounge chair, she threw out an arm to stop you. Joe was leaning against the counter of the bar, chatting up another girl. Her eyes narrowed as if she were trying to read their lips despite how far away she sat. She couldn’t miss it however when the girl wrote her number on a napkin and handed it to Joe. “Would you look at that. You know, this is what happens when you play hard to get Y/N. There is a time to make a man work for your attention, but a vacation is not it. The girls back home will be so disappointed for you.” You lay back down and tuned her out as much as you could, trying not to smile at how well the plan you’d hatched had worked. After that it was just killing time until you could go upstairs with Erin and wait for her to talk herself into exhaustion. Patiently, you listened to her babble about the tiki statue she’d decorated, pointing out all her artistic choices but refusing to let you pick it up off her bedside table for a closer look. When she finally did fall asleep you watched the clock tick for another fifteen minutes, just to make sure she was really out. Then you changed into your bikini and a robe and left the room as quietly as possible.

Joe answered after the first knock. “Should start calling you beaver,” you said as you stepped inside, noting the confused look Joe gave you, “because you’re so eager.” “Oh, my mind went…somewhere else entirely.” “Perv!” you laughed, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. “Is it pervy to ask what you’ve got on under the robe?” “A little but I’ll let it slide.” His eyes raked you up and down as you slowly pulled the belt of your robe loose, letting it fall open. “You wore it,” he grinned, meeting your eyes briefly before lowering his gaze back to your scantily clad body. “Had to compete with the pool bar girl somehow,” slowly, you let the robe slip off your shoulders, falling to the floor in a heap. You lay a hand against Joe’s chest, walking him further into the room, “If you want I can make this quick, so you’ll be ready to meet her later.” He gulped, shaking his head, “I don’t think making this quick is going to be a problem.” “You don’t even know what I’m going to do yet,” you kept your eyes locked on his as you ran your fingers along the waistband of his shorts, sinking to your knees as you tugged them down along with his underwear. “Jesus,” he whimpered, watching closely as you spat into your palm before wrapping your hand around his cock. “You weren’t lying were you? So hard already. Guess I better get started then.” Keeping your eyes up, you gently began to kitten lick around his tip, gradually trailing your tongue further down the underside of his shaft and then dragging it back up to focus on his tip again. When you decided he was suitably worked up, his breathing heavy and uneven, you took him between your lips. His hand fell to the top of your head but he didn’t try to force you to take more of his dick, instead just rested it there as you set the pace. You bobbed up and down on his cock, deliberately going slow so you could adjust. Every so often you’d return to lavishing his head with kisses and licks before sinking back down and hollowing your cheeks. When you felt your jaw getting tired you pulled back, slowly working your hand over him instead. “I’m not gonna last much longer,” “I figured, from the why you’ve been panting and moaning.” “Can’t blame me, you’re very good at this.” “Well, I try. If you want I can try deepthroating you until you cum.” “Fuck, you can do that?” “It’s been a while, might require a position change but yeah I should be able to. You up for it?” “Yes, god yes. Where do you want me?” “Might be easiest if I lie on the bed.” “Sure, whatever you think is best.” You giggled at how earnest and excited he sounded as you took his offered hand to stand up again. You took a second to stretch your muscles, knees stiff from the rough carpet, before climbing onto the bed. “This gives me a little less control than before so if I need to stop I’ll tap you okay?” “Yeah, of course. I’ll start slow. One question though,” “Shoot,” “Can I choke you again?” “You mean while you’re fucking my throat? Yeah that sounds hot. Ready?” Joe nodded as you got as comfortable as you could be with your head hanging over the edge of the bed. You were reminded suddenly that this was the exact spot he’d fucked you hard after you’d come back from golf, except you were turned the other way around. A shiver running through you at the thought. When you were ready you gave Joe a quick tap to let him know and then tried to focus on staying relaxed as he slipped back into your mouth. You could feel his hand resting against your throat again, not squeezing, just gently tracing his fingers and thumb up and down your neck as he slowly worked his cock deeper. The sensation of his fingers helped you stay calm and focused as you held onto his hips, controlling his movements as much as possible. As he gradually fucked you deeper, drawing extra gags from you, he brought both hands to your throat, thumbs almost overlapping towards the base of your neck, squeezing harder the longer and faster he fucked you. “Fuck, Y/N,” he panted, “can feel my dick moving in your throat. Under my hands. Holy shit that’s hot. Can see it too, when I move my hands away.” He did exactly that, releasing your throat so he could watch his cock move under your skin. It wasn’t long before his hands were back in place though, pressing down on the bulge. You hummed as you felt him tighten his hold a little more. “I’m, fuck, I’m g-gonna, gonna cum.” You squeezed his hip a little tighter to let him know it was okay. It was all the invitation he needed, holding himself deep in your throat and squeezing tight as he moaned through his release. When he finally released your throat and stepped back you rolled onto your stomach, coughing a little as you tried to get your breathing back to normal. “Are you okay?” he asked, rubbing your back as the coughs subsided. “Yeah, I’m great.” “You’re fucking incredible is what you are,” he tilted your chin up so he could kiss you softly, “But you’re going to have to stop wearing that bikini for the rest of your vacation because, after that, I’m not gonna be able to see you in it without cumming in my pants.” You chuckled as he sat down next to you, leaning your forehead on his shoulder. “Just give me a couple minutes to collect myself and I’ll return the favour,” “No rush, I’m a little worn out myself. You still got that vodka?” “Yeah, umm, think it’s in the wardrobe.” You patted his leg as you stood, head still a little dizzy from having hung upside down, and made your way to where he’d indicated, finding the bottle almost as soon as you opened the door. “Balcony?” He nodded as he pulled his pants back on, following you out. This time you both opted for the chairs, rather than sliding to the floor, but you pulled them so they were next to each other, facing out across the ocean. You unscrewed the lid and took a swig of the vodka, before handing the bottle over. For a minute you sat in silence, listening to the waves against the shore, passing the bottle between you. Until Joe’s voice cut through the quiet. “So, what’s on the cards for tomorrow? Your Mom booked another activity that you’ll be stuck doing?” “Nah, don’t think so. Well, I think I’ve been uninvited from whatever she had planned. She’s pretty disappointed about you chatting up other girls and me not being visibly upset by it. Don’t think she can stand to look at me right now.” you laughed. “Does that mean you’ll be free all day then?” “Yeah. I’ll have to double check in the morning in case she’s calmed down, but I should be.” “Cool.” “Any requests for what I should wear?” “ Hmmm,” he leaned in, making a face like he was thinking hard, “don’t really mind as long as it’s easy to remove.” You thought he was going to kiss you again but instead he grabbed the bottle from your hand while you were focused on his lips, leaning back as soon as he hand it in his grasp and taking a sip. “Fuck you, I was drinking that,” “Think you were a little too distracted to drink. Besides I’m cutting you off again.” “Bullshit, I’ve barely had any,” “No, but I want you on the bed.” You giggled as he grabbed your hand and practically pulled you out of your chair, leading you back inside. The vodka was almost dropped in his eagerness to get you out of your clothes again, but you caught it in time, leaving it safely standing on the bedside table as he pulled at the ties of your bikini top. As soon as it hit the floor Joe grabbed your hips and turned you towards the bed, giving your ass a small spank as you hurried to lie down. “We should talk about what we’re into,” he said nonchalantly as he followed you into the middle of the bed, kneeling between your parted legs. “What, like bands and books and shit?” “No dummy, kinks and stuff. Since we’re working on a strict time limit, we should probably discuss it, make sure we’re both having fun.” “Okay, now?” “Later, when I’m not eating you out.” You laugh stuttered into a whine as he dropped his head to press a kiss to your bikini bottoms, right over your clit.

He made you cum twice with his mouth and then once again on his cock, fucking you into the mattress while your nails left marks along his back. After, while your legs stopped shaking and your heartbeat slowed back to normal, you and Joe talked some more. He lay on his stomach, head propped up in his hands, looking up at you as he explained that you absolutely could start calling him Beaver, since he felt he’d earned the nickname now. Your fit of laughter hitched as you noticed the clock on his wall. “Shit, is that really the time? I should go,” “Already? You’re ruining my plans Y/N,” “What plans? I don’t believe you’ve ever made a plan in your life,” “Excuse you! I’ll tell you, I had big plans. Plans that involved cuddling you while we drank some more.” “As fun as that sounds,” you chuckled, “if I stay, I’ll fall asleep here. And if I fall asleep here it means I won’t be in my bed in the morning. And if I’m not in my bed in the morning I’ll be in for another lecture about looking after my sister and a whole bunch of questions I don’t want to answer.” “That’s fair, I guess.” “Besides, I’ll be back here tomorrow…or today I guess.” “Okay,” he exhaled the word against your stomach as he left a kiss there, “But I’m going to have to fuck you, hard, to make up for it.” “Oh, of course. Wouldn’t expect anything less. Though maybe something more, a spanking or something.” “You’d be into that?” “Mmhmm,” “We really need to talk about what else we’d be into.” “Tomorrow, when I come back, we can make a list and then check them all off.”

True to his word, when you returned to his room the next morning he greeted you with coffee he’d ordered from room service, and a discussion about which kinks turned you on and where each of your limits lay. But once you had it all sorted out it took almost no time at all for him to have you face down ass up on the bed, pounding you through two solid orgasms as he slapped your ass. And then, after a little recovery, he had you again, a leg wrapped around his waist and your hands pinned to the wall above your head. It seemed that, now you’d actually been together, it was all you wanted to do. In the moments when he wasn’t touching you, you could almost have said you missed it. Missed the warmth of his hands, the taste of his mouth on yours, the way he could make you feel with just his fingers let alone any other part of him. He strongly hinted he wanted to have you again, perched on the bathroom sink like he would have the night he came to your room had you not been interrupted, except that you had to leave. As part of your mother’s punishment for letting Joe get away you were once again on babysitting duty. The whole afternoon was to be spent keeping your eye on Erin while your parents joined a couples only hike. “Honestly, I’m starting to think this was about more than being starved for gossip. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’d convinced herself that we’d miraculously discover we were going to the same college and end up dating for real. That sort of romance novel bullshit. Probably had the wedding planned already.” “Hey, we knew we’d have to steal moments between activities and stuff. At least we can do the whole running-into-each-other-by-accident routine while your parents are away. I’ll help you watch Erin.” “That’s lovely of you, but you don’t have to.” “Y/N what else am I gonna do? Plus I like Erin. She’s a sweet kid, for the most part.” “You will have to keep your hands to yourself though. She spots anything and she’ll go blabbing straight away.” “I think I can restrain myself for a few hours,” “Really? Not been doing so great at the whole restraint thing the last couple of days.” “Fair point. Maybe you should give me an incentive to behave,” “Well if you don’t I might just have to tie you to the bed and edge you for a while,” “I said give me an incentive, not tempt me into misbehaving. You keep making suggestions like that and I’ll finger you by the pool just to make sure you follow through.”

That afternoon was a strong indication of how the rest of the vacation was going to go. You sat on the edge of the pool, watching Erin as she tried to prove she could do a handstand in the water. After you’d been there for about fifteen minutes Joe wandered over, both of you making polite small talk - nice to see you, what have you been up to since golf. Erin didn’t suspect anything, just yelled at Joe to watch her do a handstand before diving back underwater. Joe sat beside you, fingers almost but not quite touching as your feet bumped together below the surface. You chatted as vague acquaintances pushed together by repeat accidental meetings, though if anyone had bothered to listen in they would have heard Joes lewd comments about how your bikini turned him on and your downright obscene response asking if he preferred you in the bikini or naked and spread out on his bed. It was playful and flirty and led to another night of making near pornographic noises as checked off a few more of the kinks you both liked. And that was the routine you found yourselves falling into. You’d spend time with your family during the day, flirt with Joe whenever the opportunity arose, and then spend a good few hours of the night fucking each other’s brains out. On the floor and the bed and with your hands holding tight to the balcony railing. Occasionally, when you had adequate warning, Joe would end up on the same activity your family was doing, making polite small talk with your father as your mother tried to subtly convince him to make a move on you. You found it incredibly nerve wracking but, more than once you took the chance to fool around a little when you became separated from the group. Teasing touches as you both leaned against the same fence to admire a view, stolen kisses behind the bus, and once a quick handjob while you were meant to be snorkelling with everyone else.

On days when your family didn’t do much more than lounge around on the beach you’d make an excuse and disappear for a few hours, and then return hoping you didn’t look to fucked out for them to notice. You used every excuse you could think of – a spa session you’d booked the night before, interest in seeing a hula show or joining a yoga class, or just a desire to get out of the sun for a bit. You even disregarded everything Joe had told you about faking sick being a bad idea, pretending you had period cramps and a headache to get you another whole day to yourself. Joe came to your room that time, letting you pull him into the shower laughing. You’d had to slam your hand over his mouth as the room door opened and Erin yelled something about forgetting to grab the sunscreen before she hurried out again. It was a close call but also a huge turn on. You’d been right when you told Joe sneaking around would make things more fun.

Sometimes you’d catch sight of him and leave your family on the beach or by the pool under the guise of getting a new drink and instead end up with your tongue in Joe’s mouth, practically dry humping around the corner from where they sunbathed and joked around. When they asked what took you so long, you’d tell them it was so busy you’d lost their spot in the crowd. Joe never seemed to mind the sly nature of your meetings or the need to be quick and quiet. He’d spot you and wait for a moment when he could come up behind you and and whisper something about how it was a struggle to keep his hands to himself when you looked so good. Then he’d tell you to meet him in the lobby bathroom or whatever other secluded spot was nearby. When you arrived, he’d waste no time in pushing you to your knees or bending you over with your hands against a wall while he pulled your panties to the side. Whatever was easiest and fastest. The first time you’d been a little surprised, whining as he pushed you against a wall and kissed you hard. “Jesus Joe, I’m coming back to yours in like four hours, you couldn’t wait?” “Those shorts you’re wearing are so fucking hot, can’t blame me for wanting your cunt so bad.” He only got more intent on pulling you into dark corners and private areas when he saw you wearing the jewellery he bought you. You took to wearing the necklace and earrings constantly because every time Joe saw you in them it seemed to turn him on, something about it proving you were his to use, and it’d inspire another mindblowing round of sex, only made more satisfying by the days of stolen moments being as good as edging to work you both up.

It was everything you’d wanted when the idea of a holiday romance first occurred to you. Days spent relaxing, taking in the sun and the sea air and exploring a stunningly beautiful part of the world. Nights spent indulging in casual sex that wasn’t just a laugh but also made you feel incredible, with someone you enjoyed talking to and spending time with. Just what you needed to truly put your breakup and everything about that relationship behind you. It wasn’t ideal, what with having to dodge your family constantly but keeping it secret meant it was just yours and there was something very satisfying about that. All your previous relationships, no matter how brief, had been shared with others. Your mother telling everyone about your first kiss, your friends making you spill details about one-night stands and more long-term partners. But everything that happened between you and Joe was just for the two of you. The distance stopped your friends from getting involved and you were doing everything in your power to keep it away from your family. And that felt really good. Of course, as soon as you got back to college that would change. Enough time would have passed that you wouldn’t have any problems answering your friends demands to know if you’d seduced anyone, Justin Timberlake or otherwise. You’d spill the beans about everything, of course. After all, they deserved to know how right they’d been.

#my writing #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello imagine #holy shit ya'll #sorry i made you wait so long #but i think its worth it #i hope so anyway #oh my god

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lnarizakis · 5 years ago

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— sam’s match-ups masterlist

hi! if you sent in a match-up ask, you can find ‘em all here! if you sent off anon, i have just tagged you and added the link to the post. if you sent as anon/anon with identifying emoji, i included your description along with the link. this post will be constantly updated as i continue to post my match-ups! thank you and i hope you all enjoy your match-ups!!

— @hqprotectionsquad . . .

— anon . . . ❝ could i get a matchup🥺 with 2 boys~ i'm 4'9, i'm really tiny and i've been told i have really nice hair hehe personality wise i've been told i'm really gentle and calming, i had a teacher that said my voice is "serene" and "soothing" >__< i'm the mom friend of the group🥰 i'm quite the introvert, i enjoy just staying home with some takeout, studying quietly or playing acnh underneath all my blankets.. i'm quite fond of hugs and cuddling and forehead kisses too though😚😚💞💞💞 ❞

— anon . . . ❝ could i request for a matchup?🥺 i'm about 5'3, my friends always say i'm the perfect height to hug 🤗 i have long hair till my waist that i dyed a rose-gold colour, i like wearing green or grey contacts because i like the way they make my eyes look. i have a resting b!tch face though...i'm not very approachable because of it😭 i've been playing netball for about 6 years now and i'm quiet irl i guess, but off the court and when i'm comfy, i'm quite the goodball🤙🏻🤙🏻 ❞

— anon . . . ❝ grats for 500! I'd like to request a matchup w 3 ppl pls! Im female, 5'2, i LOVE volleyball! i play wing spiker but i used to play setter, i loved setting for my besties in hs after training. I like to work out, read books & study. i clean my room every morning cos i like neat things, my closet's organized. i have dark brown eyes and thick thighs, proud of em! i also dance, im flexible, and im taking journalism. i wanna play pro vb in the future but tbh 158.5cm's too short, but im not giving up! ❞

— ⭐️ 🌸 anon . . . ❝ Hey hey! If ur still doing the matchup event i would love one!! Im a short gal with wavy dark hair and green eyes. I wear makeup p often esp red eyeshadow and black winged eyeliner (bc im an egirl until i DIE). Speaking of egirl i dress in black and with a chain most of the time but i also randomly flip into floral soft girl hours?? As for personality im really energetic once im comfortable and i love people who can match that energy, esp bc i get anxious rlly easily so i need someone . . . who will help keep me calm and happy when my drive for success gets a lil out if hand lmao. I’m also v combative towards ppl who i think are disrespectful! I love classic novels and watching foreign movies, but I also LOVE sports and get rlly hype abt them. I also LOVE music esp metal but i can and WILL vibe to literally anything esp if its during a workout (bc i live at the gym and someone spotting my squats is so romantic 2 me 🥺). A match w/ 2 boys would be sick, tysm in advance! ❞

— anon . . . ❝ Im medium height with long brown hair and sharp features. I like drawing, reading, cooking. I’m rather chill and level-headed, i’m usually the one to fix objects and solve problems, I avoid drama. I’m compassionate and caring but sometimes indifferent. I like mountains, art galleries, concerts, cello and graphic design. I’m adaptable and open to learning new things but I don’t like changing my routine too much. + 1 male character. ty for this and congrats on 500 followers!!! you deserve it ❞

—anon . . . ❝ hihi!!!! congrats on 500!! i lov ur content sm.. akfjag im asking for a two chara match up!!! im 5'3 and i have pink hair,, i switch between so many hobbies LOL i play volleyball and softball,, and i love singing and painting!! i have a really cottagecore aesthetic and i love baking things for people!!!!! im really energetic and v bratty over text but i get flustered so easily in person,, i hope youre having a good day//night !!!!!! ty for ur fics ❞

— 🐧 anon . . . ❝ match up please!!🥺 2 characters n no gender preference!! im a tall (around 184cm) kinda chubby girl w/ shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, pale skin w/ a lot of moles n i wear glasses! im p shy n it takes me a while to open up. but when i do i am a completely dif person,, making friends is hard but the ones i do have i love more than anything! when im w/ them im cheerful, talk a lot n goof around. otherwise i look p intimidating n serious cause i have a rbf n barely talk,, . . . im the mom friend, an optimist, a dreamer n a procrastinator. im p hard to piss off but when im angry i can get scary 😳 im sensitive n cry a lot, currently im working on being more confident! i love animals n flowers!! cause im not the best with words i use lil gifts n touches to express my love! my hobby is drawing! ive been doing it my whole life n im rlly proud of it!! congrats on 500 followers love❤ ❞

— @raevaioli . . .

— 🦆 anon . . . ❝ Happy 500 bubs! You def deserve it :)! I was wondering if I could get a #1 male matchup? Looks: 5’1 petite fem w/ small chest/tiny waist. Thick/medium brown hair and eyes. I’m a cancer with ENTP type! I’m a very affectionate person to my loved ones. I’m very stubborn, sensitive (but I try to hide it), ambitious, witty and very talkative! I like to tease my friends, watch Netflix and try new baking things! Although I show my love through actions, I’m fine with getting love back in any way . . . Also I like baths! (It’s random but why not 😌) I wish you a good day! ❞

— anon . . . ❝ Hey! Can I get a matchup? (#1)I’m a Leo and a ISFJ chick! I have medium brown hair and big eyes w/ glasses. I have a petite body with a small waist and chest. I’m really nice to people but very awkward (I’ll laugh at the floor) and when annoyed. I’m much more open to others like my best friend,I feel at home with her :,) .My hobbies include watching greys anatomy, shopping for clothes, and calling my friends. I would want my partner to be a lil more extroverted than me. Happy 500 😊 ❞

— anon . . . ❝ hi! Can I get a matchup? I’m 5’2 straight girl w/ long brown wavy hair and big brown eyes. I’m thick in all the right places🥴 plus I have a curvy body. My star sign is Pisces and I’m a ISFP. I’m more introverted than extroverted. I dress like Hobo type of way, but i always wear AF1s and I NEVER crease them. In my spare time I draw,listen to raps (mostly by Tupac) and oldies, learn raps, and hang out wit friends. I also have a bunch of piercings on my ears and one on my nose. ty CONGRATS ON 500+ ❞

— anon . . . ❝ CONGRATULATIONS ON 500 WHOOP WHOOP❣️🥺, can i please have a matchup doe! so happy to celebrate this with you❤️ i’m a female, straight, 5’4 and a half, dark skin with medium black curly hair, chubby cheeks and always smiling, i love being outside just experiencing life or trying new drinks at restaurants!! i also enjoy staying home to watch tons of anime & movies or dates to the museum or theme park, spring is my favorite season and orange is my favorite color, i’m so hyper and loving, thank you! ❞

— 🐾 anon . . . ❝ Twice the charm I suppose :) I’m a 5’1 girl with long wavy brown hair. I have a lot of piercings and I tend to wear a lot of jewelry. I wear two knee braces due to a connective tissue disorder. I’m bisexual, so either way works for me owo. I’m an INFJ and a type 4. I’m told that I’m pretty easygoing but I get angry real quick when someone I love is threatened. I’m very empathetic and I’m the mom friend of the group 🐾 . . . Fun fact, don’t leave me alone in public for more than two seconds or else random strangers come up to me asking for advice. This has happened way too many times now don’t ask me why lmaooo. I’ve been playing soccer for eleven years now. I was the captain of a coed college-age division team for two years. I play left defense and goalkeeper. 🐾 . . . I go hiking a lot, I love cliff diving, and I’m an archer. I am also a painter and a writer. My dream job is to become a book editor, but I want to eventually live off my books. I tend to be pretty clingy when it comes to people. I randomly need a lot of attention and force my friends to cuddle. They like rejecting me 😔. Sorry that this was so long aha. Ily and have a good day 💕🐾 ❞

thanks for sending in an ask ! didn’t see yours? please let me know !

#sam’s 500 party

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tracybirds · 5 years ago

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Never let it be said that I’m bright, apparently I posted an ask meme with the askbox turned off lmao (gold star to me 😁) @gumnut-logic here you go xDD

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

They’re not real xD I can’t be listening to music at all otherwise I get distracted and I often have a game open on my phone for if I need a brain break. I prefer having at least an hour slot before I write anything though, and anything less than 45 min means I run the risk of being late to the next thing I have to do (partially because I get absorbed and partially because time isn’t real and I struggle with the concept of daily activities taking time xD) And I get grouchy if people are trying to talk to me when I’m in the ~~zone~~ Otherwise, variety is key, a new environment or writing medium if I get stuck will solve 89% of my problems.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Hmmm depends. Usually not a lot, but I often edit as I go and I have very extensive plans written out before I start planned projects so I know exactly what I want to write. The two I’m working on rn both have at least 1000 words of notes and plotting written out in a variety of formats so it’s all very clear in my mind :D Short quick stuff, that I write and post on the same day just get a once over for spelling and grammar :P Not that that’s always very successful, I’m usually cursing myself and fixing things the next day xD So I guess twice ahaha

#did i know i had less than 45 min at home to cook mashed potatoes before I ran out again tonight?#yes i did #hence why I was hoping to do this instead of write :D #anyway thank you :DDD #twas fun!!

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sukunasdirtylaugh · 6 years ago

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“If You Ever Wanna Be In Love,” (honestly I need a good title name so pls hmu with some ideas bc I’m dead)

Words: 1.8K

Pairing: Bucky x Female Doctor Reader

Warnings: SOFTNESS OVERLOAD; light mention of explosion and light usage of medical terms. Other than that, we good (I think).

Summary: Lmao if you’re a Nurturer or a mom friend then you’re gonna LOVE this. There’s lots of fluff with the reader and I am emotionally attached I love her so much and you better too because I need her to fucking fix this broken white boi (this fic is somewhat light-hearted and comical so if that’s your cup of tea then buckle up to the Floof train sweetheart).

It had almost been a year since Bucky met you. You had luckily saved him from a successful mission. He could remember parts of it-some were told by Steve. Accordingly, there were still gunshots fired and as he covered behind a car, an explosion erupted and he had landed several feet from where he was. It was almost impossible for Steve to reach him so there was (at the time) a small chance of survival for Bucky. But then there you were.

You were a Doctor that worked for Shield and you happened to be good friends with Pepper that you somehow started working for shield-regardless of your protests saying that you could get your own job but Pepper being Pepper, convinced you to take to job for her-and you did.

So there you were-on a corner watching it all. Watching a battle go down before your very eyes. You knew you’d get in trouble for intervening, but you were a Doctor; saving lives was the sole purpose of your existence (as you believed) and you wouldn’t think twice to help anyone in need; especially after the explosion you had just seen.

“Bucky!” You hear a voice shout. To your surprise it was the very man himself; Captain America.

The source of the bullets seemed to steer away from the fallen man’s direction and you were so sure you could get to him in time.

I can do this, you thought as you gripped onto your Emergency Medical Case hard.

Heart beating like a heavy drum, you made sure to run at calculated moment. Luckily, he landed on the pavement near a corner. I can drag him there and check his wounds, you thought.

Making your move, you ran across the street-ducking as much as you could before falling to your knees to address your patient. Turning him to you, you instantly grabbed the stethoscope from your neck to check his heartbeat. Good, he’s steady.

Taking a small flashlight from your lab coat pocket, you opened his eyelids to check for any damaged nerves or any sign of bleeding. As his pupils normally reacted to the light, he groaned. He’s unconscious, you thought to yourself.

“C’mon Bucky,” you say his name in hopes of waking him up; gently preparing to lift him up, “Up we go,” It wasn’t any use. You had to get him out of there soon or else the two of you would be under attack for the noises were nearing you.

“Bucky!” the same voice shouted.

“Steve,” he mumbled with his eyes fully closed. Yeah he was definitely unconscious.

You could already see that the red, white, and blue uniformed man took you into notice. He could clearly see your shield logo’d white coat and stethoscope meters away.

“You take care of him, Thor!” He shouts, “I’ll be right back!”

“Got it, you take your time!” shouts a deeper voice, “I can do this all day!” he says before hearing a crash. Ouch.

“Hey,” the Captain says as he already got to you sooner than you hoped. “We need to get you two out of here so you can help my friend,” he says as you nod.

“I know, I was trying to do that but I-” you stop yourself as he carries the man up as if he weighed nothing.

“Yeah, that.” you said enough for him to hear. He was Captain America, of course his Physiology was stronger than the average man!

Taking you to a nearby alley, he settles Bucky down near some wooden pallets as a bed and takes no time to settle him down.

Quick thinker, you think as you take on his moves and take your coat off using it as a resting pillow for Bucky’s head as the Captain looks at you with a look that says ‘smart girl’.

“How long do you think he can last?” he asks.

“A couple of minutes. His heartbeat is still strong surprisingly but he’s unconscious. There might be some internal bleeding so he’ll have some minutes.”

“Minutes,” he says out of breath before nodding. “Okay, you stay here and help him while I go get you a team okay?” he says before getting up urgently.

“Okay,” you say as you give him a look, “Thank you,”

“Don’t thank me yet, Doc. Just...please take care of him.” he says with a hint of vulnerability lacing his words.

You nodded at his words in acknowledgment before he nods and leaves; leaving you alone in an alley with him.

“Okay Bucky,” you speak to him in hopes of him hearing-something you always liked to do with your patients.

“We’re gonna check you for any injuries okay?” you say as you reach forward to take his upper vestment off but you’re caught off guard when his eyes shot up.

“No!” he shouts as he roughly moves your hand away.

“I have to go!” he says once more and it takes you a moment to know that he’s in shock. He can’t feel any pain, the adrenaline is taking over the pain that he’ll say he won’t feel anything (for now).

You place your hands on his shoulders keeping him down, “No you don’t,” you say sternly and look at him. “Look at me, you’re going to be fine. But you have to stay here and let me help you, I’m a Doctor.”

His eyes show more panic than before, “No! No! Get off of me! You-”

“Quiet Bucky!” You half shout half whisper before he widens his eyes.

“How the hell do you know my name?” he shouts frantically before urgently repeating that he had to go and that you’re not gonna do anything to him and it comes to you that he probably went through a possibly traumatic experience.

“Steve,” you say softly giving him a look. “Steve helped me take you here, Bucky.” you say trying to include his name for as many times possible to calm him down and it seems to work, “ He’s getting help and he wants you to stay here-which means, that I have to take care of your wounds, Bucky.”

“I don’t,” he stammers, “I don’t know you,’’

You nod. “I know,” you say, “I know. and I don’t know you either but I need someone to trust right now and so do you. Can we do that? Can we help each other out? I promised Steve that I’d take care of you-”

“You know Steve?” he asks as soon as you say his name,

“Something like that,” you say and give him a reassuring smile. “But I can’t fulfill my promise to Steve if I’m not cleaning up your wounds so let me do that,” you say to which he nods and you’re already working on him as you notice his steel blue eyes.

“You’re unconscious in and out okay Bucky? I’m walkin’ you through the end of the line, don’t you worry.” you say as he nods probably already relaxing. “Steve’ll be here in just a minute but try to stay awake for as much as you can, okay?” you say as you see him failing to and your ideas seem to be flickering off like a lightbulb.

“Okay Bucky, tell me something, anything. Tell me something about you or Steve,”

You’re doing your best here. You’re finishing his wounds but you need to take him to an ER to check for anything critical. You’re just trying to keep him awake; just as you promised to Steve and to yourself.

“Okay, no?” you say as you take out your instrument to check his blood pressure. “I’ll say something about me then. I graduated at the top of my class my last year of med school and I love fuzzy socks, like literally love. I even wear some to work even if it’s not allowed in which case I don’t think it is but I just wear them to make me feel comfortable, okay? Sometimes,” you say as you pump the instrument, “I wear polka dots when in reality I should be really wearing stripes when it’s a rainy day here in New York,” you say already aware that you’re saying nonsense.

“And when it’s Christmas, I wear these Christmas socks that light up in tons of different colors! I swear,” you say looking at his blood pressure and release a mixed sigh and laugh at how it’s stable, “I swear, it’s like a dance party every time I wear them! They’re not the most comfortable, but they’re the only gift I’ve ever gotten from a friend, so it’s special, you know?”

Bucky groans for the first time in a while, “what...the hell?” he says

You nod and let out a dry laugh “Yeah. Hey, if you’re good through this then I’ll be happy to gift you some socks that I’m sure you’ll lov-”

“I don’t need any socks,” he rasps out and you’re wondering if he’s really conscious or not.

“Of course you do, everyone does! I used to think that I didn’t before I bought my first pair when I got here to New York and let me tell you-best decision I’ve ever made.”

He groans again and you’re already sure he’s gonna end in the hospital for at least a week.

“Hey, if you tell me something about yourself then I’ll make sure you get the nice kind of Jell-O the cafeteria gives out; not the stale icky kind but the soft and chewy flavorful kind, huh?” you say hoping to strike a deal before he speaks up.

“Okay,” he says.

You beam and notice him try to sit up, “Oh that’s great! I-”

“You wanna know somethin’ about me? Then do me a favor and shut up,” he snaps before mumbling on how his headache is killing him.

“Oh…” you say before biting the inside of your cheek. So he isn’t really the kind to talk much, huh?

“Hey 107,” the voice calls out, “that’s not really a way to talk to a lady, now is it? Especially not when she’s saving your life.”

Bucky’s eyes are soon opened again and for the first time ever, a small faint smile grazes his soft- his lips. His lips! That’s it. His lips. He’s smiling, nothing less, nothing more.

“Sorry about that,” Steve says as he’s flashing you an apologetic smile and you nod already helping the team that arrived informing them on every possible diagnosis and you’re quick to send out labs for any sort of internal bleeding.

As you’re walking him through on the transportable bed he’s on, his last dozing words are, “So when am I getting my Jell-O?”

#Bucky #buck #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #God this is so weird but here we go #bucky barns x reader #winter soldier #marvel #infinity war #endgame #Avengers #Sebastian Stan

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illusionfm-blog · 5 years ago

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* 𝖘𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌 , chapter ii : the second part ft . emerson hemmingway , ya favorite fake ass ! intelligent n powerful , no nonsense , problem child but aint nobody gotta b knowin that bc she won’t make it known . she’s playing some dangerous games but that big head of hers is convinced she’s not abt to get caught and lowkey ? if anyone can pull it off , it’d be her !

⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that EMERSON HEMMINGWAY is ensuring CHI MU OMEGA gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HER ? EM is the TAYLOR HILL look alike from CHICAGO , ILLINOIS . a part of PC ‘16 , she is majoring in PRE-MEDICAL BIOCHEMISTRY and has plans to PURSUE MEDICAL SCHOOL AND HER LIFELONG AMBITION OF BECOMING A SURGEON after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their FERVID & ERUDITE attributes make them perfect matches . however , their MENDACIOUS & UNRELENTING attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to RHIANNON - FLEETWOOD MAC at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at THE CHI O HOUSE . cheers to another wild semester !

tw : mentions of drug use , mental illness

⋆ ╰ 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺 .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : emerson elaine hemmingway ( formerly katsopoulous ) 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : em , emmy , ems 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 / 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : august 12 , twenty - one 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : leo 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cisfemale identifying with she / her / hers pronouns 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : openly bisexual and biromantic , no preference 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : pre-medical biochemistry major at hu , forward for the hu women’s ice hockey team , academic success center advisor & personal tutor , personal trainer , aspiring surgeon 𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : slytherin 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 : fiona & lip gallagher from shameless , debbie ocean from oceans 8 , spencer hastings from pll , princess bubblegum & marceline from adventure time , natasha romanoff & carol danvers from the mcu , meredith grey & alex karev from grey’s anatomy 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : - distant , mendacious , unrelenting , severe , obsessive , easily goaded , defensive , pessimistic .

+ fevrent , erudite , observant , level-headed , astute , perceptive , polished , ambitious , capable .

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

more bullet points , for the 𝖜𝖎𝖓

emerson elaine katsopoulous comes into the world on an uncharacteristically warm chicago night , testing positive for opioids , a father who’s already forgotten her mother’s name as he rots in a prison cell , and no reason for anyone to believe she’d ever amount to anything .

custody is awarded to her grandpa , christos , and pretty much the only family she’s ever known becomes the ratty neighborhood she grows up spending her evenings in . christos surviving on disability and doing odd construction jobs here and there under the table for some spare spending money , emerson spends most of her days under the supervision of the dysfunctional families in her neighborhood , all fucked up in their own ways but doing their absolute best . she’s reading the label of the cigarette boxes she plays with as toy cars by the age of 3 , chatty and curious , always inquiring why the man in the street is laying there with a spoon in his hand or why the ladies on the corner at night are “ dressed like its warm when it’s really really cold outside ”

christos enforces a strict no-visitation policy for emerson’s mom and ensures the whole neighborhood keeps it up , although there’s very little he can do when the vagabond woman seeks emerson out on the playground at school with playground attendants who clearly don’t care enough about their jobs to pay attention

one of emerson’s earliest formative memories is her mother “ picking her up ” from school and telling her they were off to go on an adventure , causing an amber alert to be put out for the then seven-year old emmy . watching her mother abandoning her on the sidewalk to bolt away at the sound of the sirens approaching is something emerson recognizes as the beginning of her trust issues

the older she gets , the more she acts out , landing her eventually in a behavioral school in downtown chicago where she spends her days learning just about nothing in class and acts out even more severely . christos is at his wit’s end with the visitations from police and her behavioral officer , even a brief stint in juvie not being enough to curb the girl’s enthusiasm for trouble .

aggression towards authority figures was a major complaint , but the most severe issue became emerson’s quick tongue and sharp observation . after having learned a few tricks of the trade from other students at the behavioral school , she finds herself increasingly talented at conning the absolute living shit out of other people . at first it’s small things , trading academic favors for weed and somehow selling that for twice its worth to the gullible students , finding ways to forge signatures on things she needs signed by a guardian , to the more elaborate and high scale , such as taking the SATs for private school students in the next county over and making BANK , conning boys into trading off their rolexes which she later pawns .

christos puts her in ice hockey at the recommendation of her juvenile probation officer at the age of 13 , which proves to be one of her saving graces . her coach becomes a notable figure in her life , smacking the sense into the chaotic child’s mind that she can accomplish so much more than she gives herself credit for . her behavior interventionist recommends an adhd screening for which she finally gets a diagnosis , and a prescription for adderall , which marks the beginning of her transformation .

just before entering high school , christos and emerson are contacted by a woman who identifies herself as her long lost aunt . as it turns out , her hockey coach had done some digging and found that her father , a man em had never once spoken to , had an estranged family located in ohio , moguls of a local architecture chain with political ties and very well off . wanting to branch out into more metropolitan areas , they mention their interest in moving to chicago , and concoct a plan that changes emerson’s life

thanks to some insider ties , her politician aunt daphne has completely erased her felon brother from any connection to her , and has forged a life for herself with her architect husband . feeling a duty to her estranged niece ( and preferring to get ahead of any potential surprises that could come from having secret family derailing her political career ) daphne and christos come to the agreement that emerson can be “ adopted ” by her aunt , living as her daughter and trading the slums she grew up in for a life of luxury and illusion . emerson learns to tell the lie with ease , “ i lived with my grandpa instead of my mom and dad due to some health complications that were best treated at the university of chicago medical center , but they spent as much time as possible here ”

in order for the lie to work , and possibly one of the most difficult moments of emerson’s life , daphne regretfully has her cut off contact with everyone from her “ old life . ” letting go of a felon father and schizophrenic drug addicted mother was easy due to never having attached herself in the first place , but abandoning the families that raised her and the hockey coach who changed her life was among the most painful thing she’s ever done

she changes her last name , moves to the upper class suburb of chicacgo’s finest , her con artist tendency making her transition seamless and the illusion of fitting in so much more than an illusion . learning from those around her , emerson learns the exact things to say , the precise ways to move , and with a newly funded bank account thanks to her “ parents , ” she pulls off the act with ease . she moves up into a premier hockey league , achieves grades that catch the attention of countless schools , and transforms into a driven and determined steam train , with a one way ticket into a legacy she’s built from the ground up

hollingsworth u became her most appealing option after touring the premises and finding the competitiveness of an ivy league without the social ineptitude — equal parts ritzy glam and fierce ambition , hu seemed to embody everything emerson was seeking without the pretentiousness of the other schools groveling at her feet to have her

her first few years are a breeze , her family connections meaning she’s set up in countless places to achieve whatever she wants . she gets an internship at the medical center doing research by her sophomore year , is a starter on their women’s hockey team , and is enjoying the social aspect of her sorority time

shit TRULY hits the fan the summer before her senior year , when daphne’s campaign for mayor of chicago is rattled by an investigation that exposes her senior assistant for having embezzled from the city . though daphne herself is innocent , the political climate pushes for a closer eye on the hemmingways and their dealings . a crisis manager ( literally olivia pope lmao ) does her own research and before emerson knows it , she’s suddenly thrust into her senior year with absolutely no financial support from her family . as it turns out , due to the corners cut by not formally nor legally adopting emerson ( as it would have left a paper trail ) , the financial aid daphne provided would route in a way that would not line up with the birth certificate that showed emerson’s birth parents as people other than her fake parents . not wanting to risk a scandal that would make national headlines without doubt , daphne and emerson devise an alternative where em uses her academic and athletic prowess to earn scholarships to cover her schooling , which can’t be traced and leave no red flags for anyone trying to dig up dirt .

emerson knows she can’t let anyone think she’s struggling , both for her own ego and for the sake of her aunt’s campaign , which is why she’s pushing herself to the edge to keep up both her academics and her athletics to maintain these scholarships . while these cover the basic costs , keeping up the lifestyle she’s had requires a bit more effort , which is where it seems this tiger won’t change her stripes no matter how well she had hidden them for so long . what started as simple tutoring turned into a teleportation back to her behavioral school in chicago but on a wider scale — she sells her adderall prescription to make quick cash and offers her services for fake test taking or last-minute essay writing . it’s high risk , but also high reward , and emerson has always thrived in high pressure situations

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

personality wise , em is known for being the cool calm and collected type , who’s a bit of a mystery to most . she’s an illusion and lives the lie she’s been telling as if its her second skin , sometimes losing what she believes in at her core .

she’s deeply ambitious and wants to be a surgeon , her dream since she was a child as medicine was the most stimulating thing possible to her . she did so much research on her “ fake illness ” to sell her story that she ended up falling in love with it , and has been set on medicine ever since

this aggressive ambition can also show as fixation or obsession , and emerson has a severe problem with not knowing where to let go . while she seems cool and detatched , she’s obsessed with never feeling like she could have done more and will always be the girl who can be goaded into taking things too far , often putting her in dangerous situations that she has to figure her own way out of

she tends to take everything kinda seriously and despite being p relaxed , her perfectionist type a side makes itself very apparent in the day-to-day of her life . she knows how to play hard and enjoys herself a good party , but even in the way she plays beer pong she hates to fail

has a sexy deep voice n an even SEXIER deadpan sarcastic wit . .. . def the friend to call out bs without batting an eye , usually wearing an oversized hoodie n gucci slides , em is the literal intersection of boujie and casual PHEW

having such an unstable upbringing and so many shitty experiences at such a young age have hardened her and made her deeply unwilling to trust others . she tends to keep the world at a distance , and even her closest friends always admit it feels like they’re still an arms length from her deepest layer . emerson is pretty sure the only person to ever see her cry is her grandpa , and intends to likely keep it that way

instead of freaking out , em shuts down ! v unemotional ! she just detatches and tries to be calculated which tends to make people think she’s some shitty robot who doesnt give a fuck about anyone but herself bc of her “ rich girl upbringing ” which is true to an extent , but nobody will ever know the true backstory that explains her emotional detachment and secrecy

in a way , even though she has the world convinced she’s this composed individual , she still always thinks of herself as a chaotic problem child which only fuels her determination even more , often to the extent that she fucking burns herself out . she’s incredibly cynical and has a p negative self perception because she’s just that fucking hard on herself

has never really been in love ! she’s never let anyone close enough to her that she risks getting attached enough to get hurt , which means relationships are usually rather shallow and end when she gets bored or when they get tired of waiting for her to open up

stressed as SHIT trying to keep up her illusion for her own ego’s sake and that of her family ! she’s ashamed of her upbringing and her aunt has always been pretty good to her , and em recognizes that if daphne wouldn’t have appeared , emerson would probably have ended up like either one of her parents . people have noticed that emerson seems a lil more anal than usual , but the con in her makes it easy to convince everyone she’s just stressed with the prospect of graduation and medical school

#rank:intro #i' m . .. . so orsry for how long this got . ..#SKKKSDSKDJ

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ofdaeseong · 5 years ago

Photo

is that a bird or a plane ? nah, it’s just IM DAESEONG. word on the street is that the TWENTY-SIX year old, CISMALE, looks an awful lot like MATTHEW KIM (BM). known to be AFFECTIONATE and KIND HEARTED, yet also COMPETITIVE and IMPULSIVE; they associate themselves with bloody hands from fighting, takes no shit, constantly has an extra helmet for his motorcycle, and a teddy bear disguised as a lion.

ok so daeseong was born in daegu but moved to los angeles at the age of 3, so he was americanised a LOT,, for the longest time, he spoke english better than korean and it was like that until he returned permanently to korea at the age of 14

they were always back and forth between the two over the years, but he still spent the majority of time in the states

they originally moved to los angeles because of his father’s job – he was a producer for a big network and he got an opportunity in america so they took off !! the network got shut down years and years later and daeseong’s dad was like LOL YEET and moved the fam back to korea !!

baby daeseong was v much full of energy and his parents tried putting him in a number of things – singing wasn’t for him, dancing was alright, but he still couldn’t remember the moves good enough, and instruments just weren’t his thing either – he did play piano, but that was thanks to years and years of practice. but anything else thrown his way wasn’t his thing.

his parents put him into american football to begin with,, and they learned quick enough that dae was also a pretty angry kid so he wasn’t afraid to run hEAD FIRST INTO PEOPLE

and so that’s the thing that got him put into boxing and ofc he thrived there,, he was taught so much and told to calm himself down,, it wasn’t aLL about fighting and he absolutely fell in love with it !! remember i mentioned he was alright at dancing???? that just helped him with his footwork in fighting

talking about falling in love with things, he fell in love with jinae and rory pretty quickly when he met the pair – they always seemed to make him smile, and as a quiet, aggressive kid, it definitely helped him a lot.

so like i said before he returned to korea at 14

he joined another gym there and life took off for lil dae !!! by that point he had been boxing for eight years, and those eight years led up to him attending and fighting in the 2008 beijing olympics – he didn’t win a medal, but he did do well enough where everyone was talking about him and would be keeping their eye on him for the next four years after that to see if he would be competing again

and he did !! he competed in the london 2012 olympics and thats when he brought a medal home for south korea in boxing at the age of 19 !!! he placed second after losing out to the united states,,, but ofc he was a lil happy about them winning bc he considers there a second home

because of the success, he was invited on a few variety shows and created an impression there too – granted that was back in 2012-2013, but he’s not interested in all of that now.. he prefers to let his work speak for himself

after his win, he opened up his own boxing gym so he could start teaching younger people, and those who were less fortunate so they could learn how to properly fight and fight for a sport, rather than anything else. it’s something he’s very proud of, and a place that has grown and grown through the years since late 2013-early 2014

ofc he competed in the 2016 olympics in rio and came home with a bronze medal,,, which BUMMED HIM TF OUT but he still took it as an honour – after that, he just had a few title fights here and there but he did absolutely nothing in 2017 concerning boxing, which had people questioning what was happening with daeseong

he decided to enlist to the military in may 2017 and served with the marines for 21 months. he’ll easily tell anyone that it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, more so than fighting.

he got out in february of 2019 and instantly jumped back into his gym and into training again

he’s waiting for the right time to schedule a fight,, he knows he isn’t up to his standard that he was once at but he does want to get back into the ring for a legit fight

and it’s something a lot of people are waiting for since his return from the military

even more so, he wants that gold medal from the olympics before its too late,,, but gearing up for 2020 seems TOO SOON and waiting until 2024 is too long so he’s v v v v conflicted

he’s a real sweetheart despite doing something scary lol wants nothing but the best for people, always there to lend a hand, always there to help absolutely anyone around him

RANDOM HEADCANONS:

he’s v blind but always wears contacts so no one even knows about it lol he refuses to wear glasses just bc he feels like he looks v nerdy with them and got teased as a kid pretty bad !!! he’d only wear them in the morning or if he was spending all day in house

he has a lil pungsan puppy called byeol and he is v soft for that damn dog !! ask him about his puppy pls he’ll talk like it’s his damn child !!!

has a little sister called daeun,,, also would do anything for her or fight anybody

absolutely covered in tattoos -- legs, chest arms,, im eventually gonna figure out what he has,, he’s eventually gonna get his back and neck done too bc why the hell nOT

he’s kinda weird when people are fans of him as a boxer just bc he’s not used to it and he thinks he’s pretty normal !! so when people are like jUST WATCHED YOUR LAST FIGHT AND IT WAS AWESOME !!! he’d be like ,,,, cool :-) thank you !! JASDHFGDHS

DIY KING !!! he loves making headboards, tables,,, all that sHIT !! WE LOVE A MANLY MAN

his boxing nickname is ‘saja’ which is basically korean for lion so he will absolutely answer to that if someone yells it in the street at him lmao

he’s a girl group kpop stan n loves all that bubblegum kpop,,, ask him to dance to a twice song bc he’ll be able to do it ( also ps,,,,, stan weki meki thank u )

a Big Momma’s boy !!!1

always double ties his shoelaces just bc it’s such a routine for him

he’s not a big trash talker but like,,,, he’ll do it if he has to !!! kinda basing him off a fighter from where i’m from so he’ll have lil elements of him~ but he’s always respectful to opponents,, unless he has to step it up and make them terrified lmao

loves animated movies pls he’s a big kid in a 6′2″ man’s body

still rocks grey sweatpants like,,,,, 95% of the time !! try getting him to wear something else bc it wont happen unless hes actually TRYING to look good

tbh i’m down for anything in terms of connections,, dae could obv do with a male/nb bestie tbh, someone he can talk to when he can’t speak to the girls in his life !! a past relationship who would have supported him before things obv went south ( it would have been like three/four years ago too tbh), family friends -- someone who is a friend of his little sister, maybe someone who is a fan of him fighting?? someone who has a kid or relative in his fighting programme for kids??? IDK YALL GIVE ME ANYTHING

#( i'll never be sorry for who i am. ) ╱ * musings.#( daeseong's bio. )#im eventually gonna change this picture too bc i dont like it JSDHFHDS #but this is it for now !!!!!!#daeguintro

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koalas-koalas-everywhere · 5 years ago

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Live blogging the Hobbit pt.7

Flies And Spiders

I’ve been looking forward to this one.

“There were black squirrels in the wood. As Bilbo’s sharp inquisitive eyes got used to seeing things he could catch glimpses of them whisking off the path and scuttling behinf tree-trunks.” I should write a fic about this myself, but I think it would be a funny scene to have Bilbo, with his sharper eyesight, mention the squirrels and the dwarves just. Have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about? What squirrels?? Bilbo: … the squirrels. Dwarves: wut. B:The squirrels that run around every once in a while. And him trying to point them out but being unable to because of their speed and their black colour. Eventually, after they’ve been in the woods a while, becoming irritable and kinda muddled and just really freaked out, Bilbo snaps and out of nowhere throws a rock at one of them, only stunning it, but effectively bringing it down. The dwarves are all like, Bilbo wtf, both because it was very sudden and because they didn’t know he had that good of an aim, but he just goes “you see it? you see it? oh thank heavens I was starting to think I was going crazy and just imagining it.” That’s when they decide to try to shoot them and eat them and when they realise… well, I’ll keep it for that bulletpoint.

“Even the dwarves felt it, who were used to tunneling, and lived at times for long whiles without the light of the sun; but the hobbit, who liked holes to make a house in but not to spend summer days in, felt that he was being slowly suffocated.”

Lmao why does he always get the worst of it? Tolkien, I’ll see you in hell.

“They tried shooting the squirrels, and they wasted many arrows before they managed to bring one down on the path. But when they roasted it, it proved horrible to taste, and they shot no more squirrels.”

Here it is, back to the story, they hunt the squirrels, realise they’re gross, and are like, “Bilbo, you’re the most weirdly skillful yet useless person we’ve ever met.”

‘Dori is the strongest, but Fili is the youngest and still has the best sight.” Fili is the what

“All the time he was wondering whether there were spiders in the tree, and how he was going to get down again (except by falling).”

why not

“They did not care tuppence about the butterflies, and ere only made more angry when he told them of the beautiful breeze, which they were too heavy to climb up and feel.” It is kind of tacky, Bilbo

Double fuck, my bookmark fell off and the spine got cracked. This has literally never happened to me before D:<

In theory, leaving a mark that something’s been used and loved is a concept I like. In practice? This is bothering me.

“That night they ate the last scraps and crumbs of food; and next morning when they woke the first thing they noticed was that they were still gnawingly hungry, and the nest thing was that it was raining and that here and there the drip of it was dropping heavily on the forest floor.” I mean, they’ve eaten the last of the food and they’re still hungry — chances are that even if they’d known they were almost out of the woods, they wouldn’t have made it anyway. (So certain authors can stow it.)

“There were many people there, elvish-looking folk, all dressed in green and brown and sitting on sawn rings of the felled trees in a great circle.” Why elvish-looking and not just elves?

“They were lost in a completely lightless dark and they could not even find one another, not for a long time at any rate. After blundering frantically in the gloom, falling over logs, bumping crash into trees, and shouting and calling till they must have waked everything in the forest for miles, at last they managed to gather themselves in a bundle and count themselves by touch.” First off, I want to serve this as an example of and proof that Tolkien, while not going quite so low as to make scatological and fart jokes, used plenty of slapstick comedy. Second, oh my god you guys, that is not the way to find each other in the dark!

“Thorin said: ‘No rushing forward this time! No one is to stir from hiding till I say. I shall send Mr. Baggins alone first to talk to them. They won’t be frightened of him--(‘What about me of them?’ thought Bilbo)-- and any way I hope they won’t do anything nasty to him.’” All praise the fearless and generous leader!

It reminds me of a fanfic I really like, still in progress, where the fanon dynamic for Bagginshield (and indeed, most common tropes of romance) gets subverted by having Thorin trust and rely on Bilbo to protect him instead of being overprotective. It was started after the first movie but before the others, and I can really see it in the book. (Of course, that probably has something to do with the fact that Tolkien didn’t write it to be romantic.)

“‘They are the best I am likely to get in this beastly place,’ he mutteres, ad he lay down beside the dwarves and tried to go back to sleep and find his dream again.” Dwarf(and hobbit)pile!

“He was deep in thoughts of bacon and eggs and toast and butter when he felt something touch him. Something like a strong sticky string was against his left hand, and when he tried to move he found that his legs were already wrapped in the same stuff, so that when he got up he fell over.

Then the great spider, who had been busy tying him up while he dozed, came from behind him and came at him.” Almost executed for daydreaming about breakfast in the middle of Mirkwood at night crimes.

“He beat the creature off with his hands--it was trying to poison him to keep him quiet, as small spiders do to flies--until he remembered his sword and drew it out.”

Bilbo: *balls up fists and swings them like cartoon boxer* Let’s do this Shire style!

But also, I want to point out that it says he beat it off not tried to beat it off. That implies success.

Also, I’m kind of freaked out at the implication that that’s a small spider.

“Then it went mad and leaped and danced and flung out its legs in horrible jerks, until he killed it with another stroke; and then he fell down and remembered nothing more for a long while.

There was the usual dim grey light of the forest-day about him when he came to his senses.” Fair.

“Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and even birds, got out of his was as quick as lightning if they saw him stoop; and even grow--up he had still spent a deal of his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand, bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and throwing sort--indeed he could do lots of things, besides blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I haven’t had time to tell you about. There is no time now.” There are so many levels of hilarity here, like

1- Bilbo used to be a fucking menace. And he didn’t quite get over it either!

2- They only ran away when he stooped? This just makes me think that he might have done nice things to make them at least tolerate him otherwise, instead of outright avoiding him or attacking him. Like, “ah, it’s that little boy, who’ll either feed us, he’s so nice and- uh oh he stooped, time to go boys.” Alternatively, it’s genetic memory warning them away from Bilbo. I was thinking maybe it was about all hobbits, but it does say “until they got out of his way”, meaning there was a time when they didn’t.

3- That’s such a hilariously late time in the story to introduce us to the fact that the main character has not only good aim but a strong enough arm to throw a stone right through a giant spider’s web, which would be thicker and probably more durable than the normal variety, already stronger than steel. And then kill the spider on the other side.

4- “Other quiet games of the aiming and throwing sort.” Idk man, other games of the sort, figure it out yourself.

5- I want to know about the other stuff Bilbo can do.

“This is what he sang:

Old fat spider spinning in a tree!

Old fat spider can’t see me!

Attercop! Attercop!

Won’t you stop,

Stop your spinning and look for me?

Old Tomnoddy, all big body.

Old Tomnoddy can’t spy me!

Attercop! Attercop!

Down you drop!

You’ll never catch me up your tree!

Not very good perhaps, but then you must remember that he had to make it up himself, on the spur of a very awkward moment.” Tolkien, shut up, it’s beautiful.

Also, lol, about to be eaten by spiders, how awks.

“Standing now in the middle of the hunting and spinning insects Bilbo plucked up his courage and began a new song.” Bilbo: If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be as annoyingly as possible.

Honestly, though, this is my favourite song in the book.

“Bilbo’s next job was to loose a dwarf.” Very different from losing a dwarf, which he’s already done x14 (Thorin counts twice, especially considering he hasn’t even realized he’s lost him yet).

“Suddenly Bilbo noticed that some of the spiders had gathered round old Bombur on the floor, and had tied him up again and were dragging him away. He gave a shout and slashed at the spiders in front of him. They quickly gave way, and he scrambled and fell down the tree right into the middle of those on the ground. His little sword was something new in the way of stings for them. How it darted to and fro! It shone with delight as he stabbed at them. Half a dozen were killed before the rest drew off and left Bombur to Bilbo.” Bilbo’s gone berserk.

Also, Sting shone with delight? What a bloodthirsty blade.

“Away behind them now the shouting and singing suddenly stopped.” DUN DUN DUUUUUN

“Things were looking pretty bad again, when suddenly Bilbo reappeared, and charged into the astonished spiders unexpectedly from the side.

‘Go on! Go on!” he shouted. “I will do the stinging!”

And he did. He darted backwards and forwards, slashing at spider-threads, hacking at their legs, and stabbing at their fat bodies if they came too near. The spiders swelled with rage, and spluttered and frothed, and hissed out horrible curses; but they had become mortally afraid of Sting, and dared not come very near, now that it had come back. So curse as they would, their prey moved slowly but steadily away. It was a most terrible business, and seemed to take hours.” Love this part. All very heroic.

“They knew only too well that they would soon all have been dead if it had not been for the hobbit; and they thanked him many times. Some of them even got up and bowed right to the ground before him, though they fell over with the effort, and could not get on their legs again for some time.” I can imagine Bilbo all flustered, going “good. Hope you’ve learned your lesson and won’t be doing that again. Limit yourself to fawning.”

“All of a sudden Dwalin opened an eye, and looked round at them. ‘Where is Thorin?’ he asked.”Lmao, finally!

“They differed from the High Elves of the West, and were more dangerous and less wise.” Feral.

“All this was well known to every dwarf, though Thorin’s family had had nothing to do with the old quarrel I have spoken of. Consequently Thorin was angry at their treatment of him, when they took their spell off and he came to his senses.” Another change done for the movie: Thorin’s family wasn’t involved in the feud.

Also lmao this weapon, a prisoner and all “how dare you”.

I’m not going to talk about the conversation between Thorin and Thranduil bc it’s probably been done to death.

Definitely my favourite chapter this far. Main character’s skills and learned courage begins to show? Check. He uses them in a fight that gives him extra confidence? Check. Heroics mixed with witty commentary and one-liners? Check. Team begins to see them in a new, more positive light? Check. Elves being made fun of and painted as kinda ridiculous? Check. (This one’s very subjective ig.)

#The Hobbit #liveblogging #Bilbo Baggins #Thorin Oakenshield III #dwarves #hobbits #The Company of Thorin Oakenshield #Gandalf #Elves #Mirkwood #Spiders

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maiakana · 6 years ago

Text

Accent - Lee Felix

Stray Kids

masterlist

Key: fluff, humor, honestly some ranting haha

Characters: reader x felix

Count: 3.1k words

Part: 1 2 3

Description: who knew a late night run to the grocery store also meant running into a boy with a peculiar voice, literally.

Note: this was my first chapter of a fic I wanted to write but I kinda liked it as a one shot so here we go! I’m still learning so bare with the writing and mistakes! most likely will make a part 2 or 3 but no promises segrtergsefb

GIF Originally Posted by @felixeslee

You tugged your scarf closer to your face as you walked down the streets of Seoul. You were creating a mental map in your head of the area surrounding you.

Although you've been living in Seoul for 3 years already, you haven't quite gotten the hang of going around. Having almost no other connections in the country has also been making it more difficult.

The words were ringing in your ears, the lingering chill that spiked down your spine, as if they were just spoken.

"Y/N I forbid you, I swear you better come back here before you regret it."

Old news you didn’t need to think about, baggage you were still letting go.

It was later in the night, most residents and tourists have retreated into their homes and hotels by now.

However, a good handful of people were still milling about, friends hanging out, adults having late night drinks, or late night shopping. Specifically grocery shopping, which was where you fell in the categories.

The streets were illuminated by golden glows and neon colored signs, advertising hole-in-the-wall restaurants and tourist attractions. Instead, what caught your eye was everyone's fan favorite: the 24 hour convenience store, it indeed deserved that name.

A breeze from outside rushed behind you as you entered the store, your brown hair flew around your face, along with your scarf. You grabbed a basket with one hand as the other is busy trying to tame your airborne hair.

You started down the aisles, picking out the cheapest food items and ingredients you could find. The life of a student.

There was no one else in the store but the cashier, an old man who was busy watching the small TV monitor on the wall and counting money at the register, most likely his earnings from earlier in the day.

You hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a long time, living in a small dorm by yourself didn’t really prompt a lot of needs that needed to be replenished often. Not to mention your lack of eating, sometimes remembering mealtimes was easier said than done.

You filled your basket with the last few snacks that your hands could grabbed before striding towards the register. You politely greeted the cashier, reaching into the pocket of your long coat and pulling out a few coupons and cash, ready to hand them over.

While the old man scanned your items, you noticed all the posters and pictures plastered all over the wall behind him.

Idol groups: boys and girls alike, all very beautiful, a little unreal you might add. Many of them were group photo shoots but some had members individual headshots.

You recognized many groups displayed, from the big-shots like BTS, EXO, and Twice. To upcoming phenomenons like NCT's 18 member super group, just to name a few.

A sad smile curved on your lips, you had a push and pull relationship with idol groups, never quite cemented your opinions on them.

You've never had a issues with the idols themselves, in fact you used to be a huge fan, following so many groups, listening to their music, and even learning their fanchants, the whole shabang. That was the pull towards the appeal. Idols used to be your role models for as long as you could remember.

Repeat that: used to be.

The industry that produced Idols was what killed your appeal. That's the push. When you were younger you had no idea what it took to be in the limelight of the idol industry, of the trainee life.

But who could you blame, a majority of the world never knows that it takes to be successful, you were no different.

Over time, the idea of boys and girls your age being subjected to their looks and physical appearance, whether their voices were deemed alright, and collapsing from over exerting their bodies dancing. It was all too much for you, even as someone on the side lines.

Don't even get yourself started on the negatives of the fans and fandoms. However, the only light to shed on this was that at least Kpop isn’t the only industry that had extremes among those that enjoy it. Western music fans that were toxic over there, were just as extreme too.

You knew that most fans were regular people and just enjoy the music and the bands but sometimes the polarizing few become too much. Maybe it's human nature to have bad apples everywhere.

One incident you remembered a few years ago was the Shinee’s Taemin and APink’s Eaeun situation. A perfect example of the viciousness of fans and their hate and outbursts whenever they saw their idols do something they don't like.

They'd stalk, harass, and belittle anyone that was even in a 10 ft vicinity of the star. Following them around saying disgusting insults, hammering the nails even further. You don't think you’ve ever seen two people in such distress before.

It was such a shame really, for all we know Shinee's makane may have really loved her like he said on the show.

Now years later, the two are left to only avoid each other on stages and music shows when their groups cross paths. Minimizing contact at all cost to protect Eaeun from further harassment for just being around him.

And that wasn't even a scandal, some fans just couldn't stand their oppa being potentially happy with another person.

to be honest that whole section was me being emo after I watched so many videos about it and for all i know none of it was true or real or it was real and they were hurt because of it, either way i don’t feel like deleting it so sorry to anyone annoyed by it lmao

Although idols weren’t on your radar anymore, you would always know of them, it's inevitable. You were living in the time where they were growing the most international.

Music has always been a love of yours and that's all you’ve been focusing on ever since you came to Seoul. That's probably the last connection you had to idols, your love for music, your love for what you do.

The old man finished ringing you up, bagging all of your groceries and handing you the receipt.

"Hold on dear," the elder said, as he crouched down and shuffled with something under the desk.

Restlessly, you tapped your fingers against the counter. Looking around at all the idol merchandise, your eyes were drawn on to the TV monitor.

"N E X T W E E K O N M N E T!"

On the TV screen, many different clips of a few boys wearing dark clothes in a dance studio flashed by. There was a voice over, by an older man, explaining the tasks the trainees had to overcome. It was an idol survival show.

In some flashes they were sitting in a half circle talking intensely, in others they were dancing to choreography as one person sat out giving thorough feedback. However, the last clip showed a lot of the boys individually, either writing lyrics or practicing the lines.

You had barely caught the large strikingly red S and K at the end of the clip before the old man bounced up from searching below, stealing your attention again.

"Aha I found it!"

He brought out a small booklet, as if it was a manual you’d get along with a new speaker you'd buy. A manual it was not. You looked at the cover featuring a subtle sky blue with the Hangul lettering in white.

SCOUTING: COMPANY AUDITION & EMPLOYMENT INFORMATION

"You, young lady, look like these idol kids that are hung up on this wall," he gestured behind him while placing the small book into one of the bags. "We're given these little things all the time by a handful of companies to 'scout for rough potential.’ We only give them out during the day but since you're here so late I figured why not give you one eh?"

You stared oddly at the bags full of your food and now with a book that's basically a catalog of idol company hotlines. Looking back and forth between the wall of posters and the old man's kind smile you felt your cheeks blush at the gesture as you hesitantly smiled back.

"Uhh . . . thank you sir you are very generous," you stiffly bow, thanking him for the bags, still slightly baffled by the idol comment.

Ironic. You still remembered being told the same thing once, but that it’d be the only thing you’d be known for.

How superficial.

To save yourself from further embarrassment you briskly headed for the door. The chilly fall air brushed against your cheek, the bags in your hands slightly swaying due to the quick pace. Walking only a few feet away from the convenience store, you looked down at the bags thinking about what the man said.

Yeah right, become an idol your ass.

Before you could look up you felt your right shoulder collide into another figure, earning a loud yelp from the both of you. You dropped your bags as you stumbled slightly losing your balance while the other person, who you realized was a guy, stumbled on his step too.

The guy reached his hands out and gripped your arms on both sides steadying you. Because of the small tug from his motion, you had accidentally taken a step towards him, slightly closing the space between you guys.

"Are you alright?" a deep voice asked, filled with concern. Shocked, our eyes flickered to meet his. English?

He had ebony brown hair parted on the left side of his face. It was a tad longer than most of the men’s hair you see around but the way it flowed just to his eyebrows perfectly framed his sharp pale face.

He was decked in all black clothing, sneakers and all. He was only maybe 3 or 4 inches taller than you yet his dark hoodie and jeans seemed to make his figure tower over you. His jaw was angular, skin a little paler than yours and lightly dusted across his nose and cheeks were freckles.

bahaha apparently he is 5' 7 rn its okay tho because i’m hella short

"Yeah I am," you mumbled back, stunned by his dark eyes staring down at you.

He grinned at you showing of a white smile. He gently let go of your arms and crouched down to pick up the fallen bags. "I think we're both going to run into something worse than each other someday if we don't pay attention to where we're going."

You quirked up an eyebrow. "You speak English?"

"I don’t know, does it sound like I'm speaking Spanish?" he chuckled at his own joke.

His voice was like the ocean itself. A deep flowing tone, miles under sea level, it was a complete contrast from the pretty face it was coming from.

Your ears seemed to ring listening to his voice. An accent of some sort? It wasn't an American accent like your own, nor was it European, it was distinct. You couldn't really put a finger on it.

"Don't take offense to this but are you a foreigner too?" you questioned.

"Hmm I wonder what gave it away," he flashed you an amused look, carefully handing over the bags full of your groceries. "But yes I am, you?"

"I guess we're both in the foreigners club here," you said looking up at him. "I'm from the States."

"Ahh so I got an American on my hands."

You furrowed your eyebrows at him half amused and half curious.

"And what's that supposed to mean huh?" you shot back. He laughed at your counter, the happy sound echoing through the street.

"I knew you couldn't have been another Aussie," he shoved his hands in his pockets, tilting his head a bit, as if thinking about how he wants to form his next comment. "Your accent made that clear, love."

You couldn’t help but giggle at his words, him following suit. So he's Korean Australian, that's new.

You thought it was only the British that said love.

An electronic ding rings out of the boy's jacket. Quickly pulling his hands out of his pocket with a phone in grip, he opened up the device to view a message he just received.

Sighing, he typed a quick reply to the other person on the other end. You noticed the slight bags under his eyes as his faces was illuminated from the phone. His posture was relaxed but slightly rigid in some movements.

He was clearly exhausted.

When he looked back at you, you took a step back putting some distance between each other, bending down and respectfully bowed to him, greeting him in Korean.

He bowed and greeted you back.

"I'm sorry for bumping into you, I didn't realize it was possible to bump into someone in plain sight," he said, shyly scratching the back of his neck.

You waved him off. "It's okay, I should've been watching where I was going but thank you for helping me."

"It's the least I can do after I sent you spiraling," he replied. He flinched as a few more buzzes went of from his phone, clearly whoever was texting him wasn't willing to wait much longer.

Time to go.

"Looks like my fellow foreigner has to go," You said, tilting your head to the side. "Seems urgent."

"Just my hyungs," he sighed, rubbing his eyes a little. "It was my turn to get snacks for home. Didn't realize I was on a time frame though."

"Lose a bet?"

"Something like that," he said. He held a hand out with the same grin on his face from before. "Well Miss America it was nice bumping into you."

You reached out to shake his hand.

His big hand I'm sorry I snorted writing this haha was warm, delicately holding onto your smaller one, they seemed to tingle at the touch. "I could say the same thing too, Aussie."

You let go of each other hands and exchange a small bow again. The brown haired boy started a step towards the convenience store until he paused and turned back to look at you. He seemed to be debating if it was worth to ask you something.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" He asked.

"Haven't even known each other for an hour," you jokingly raised an eyebrow at him. "Straight forward I see."

He laughed while taking off his beanie, running his fingers through his hair a little. He played the edges of his sweatshirt looking a way a bit, fidgeting.

"Well if you aren't doing anything tomorrow night you should come to Sinchon. I heard there's a lot of busking in the streets since it'll be Friday," he rushed.

"And you want me to come watch with you?" you pressed back. It was an interesting hang out choice for sure, but he's sparked your curiosity. You wanted to mess with him a little longer. "How will I find you? Doesn't seem safe to just give my phone number to a stranger I met on the street. I mean come on we haven't even exchanged names."

His face perked up. Clearly surprised that you were playing along with him. "It's Felix, Lee Felix. And what does my favorite foreigner call themselves?

"Ha ha ha you think you're so witty don't you? I'm Min y/n."

His eyes glistened under the city lights, you felt your heart pound faster at the way his face changed into content after learning your name. "So what do you say miss y/n? Care to join a night of fun with your favorite foreigner?"

"Hmm, maybe you'll see me there," you joked sarcastically. "How am I supposed to turn down the offer of a lifetime?"

You weren’t lying to be honest, even though the idea of watching some buskers was interesting, you weren’t completely sure if you could go. You had a long schedule for tomorrow but you didn't have the heart to ruin his excitement.

Felix's hand shot down back into his pocket to fish out his phone again before handing it to you looking away quickly, avoiding your eyes.

"Maybe you'll feel better if we had a way to let each other know when we'll be there," he mumbled, his cheeks tinting a bit pink.

"Is that how you're going to ask for my number?"

"If it's working then yes."

Laughing at his honestly you gingerly took the phone out of his hands and put in your number. His fingers lightly brushed against your own causing tingles to travel up your hands.

Ignoring the flutters in your stomach, you frantically typed in your info, becoming very embarrassed every time you made a typo. Feeling a heavy gaze watching you, you had barely missed the small comment that slipped out of his lips.

"Cute," he muttered under his breath.

You felt like digging yourself in a hole while you waited for him to put in his own number on your phone, openly spamming in some middle school emoji choices for the heck of it.

His cheeks raised up as a smile lit up on his face. "Can't wait to see you there!" You nodded happily at him trying to calm the nerves that were spreading through your body.

What kind of trouble were you getting yourself into?

You urged him to finally head towards the store, it was like you could hear more message alerts already coming of his phone from a mile away. Waving goodbye as we walked away from each other, you couldn't help but feel the excitement building up already inside. You haven't had a light hearted conversation like this in a long time.

You closed your eyes seeing the painted image of his dark eyes looking down at you, hearing his deep voice that hilariously did not match his face.

His voice.

You whipped around from where you were, only a few feet further from the store and where you just spoke. You spotted the same boy right in front of the store, just about to push the door in.

"Hey Aussie!"

Your shout echoed through the empty dark street. The sky was clear and the moon was out, a perfect chilly day in November.

He turned to your direction surprised at your call. Doing the same head tilt like before, he was about to reply until you beat him to it.

"I like your accent."

His eyes twinkled a bit as he smirked back, amused.

"I like yours too."

#stray kids #felix #lee felix #stray kids felix #fluff #kpop #humor #sorry for the rant #bad grammar #junior year sucks #one shot #idol #kpop idol

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