#not in that she was a bad sister to him just that he picked up some bad behaviors from her at the time

[cressidagrey]

Such A Mystery - Part 5

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Colette Leclerc (Original Character)

Summary:

Max Verstappen fell in love at the ripe old age of 12 and never looked back.

Colette Leclerc really regrets posting that particular Taylor Swift Lyric to her private Instagram account, because it made George Russell go insane.  

The rest of the world has absolutely no idea that the Dutch Lion and Charles Leclerc’s twin sister have been a couple for 15 years and are expecting a baby. 

Warnings: 

Pregnancy, Mention of multiple miscarriages, Pregnancy complications, George Russell Bashing (he's probably really nice in real life but in this, he's the bad guy, sorry), Jos Verstappen

Author Notes: Huge thanks to @llirawolf for holding my hand through this. Currently thinking this will have like 5-7 parts? (That was a nice fever dream. I am now thinking maybe 8-9?)

Max didn‘t wait until he was back at the hotel to call Colette. He was attached to his phone as soon as he got done with that horrible press conference. 

He really didn‘t care what anybody else had to say about that. As soon as he could, he called Colette.

It wasn‘t Colette that picked up though, it was Pascale, her mother.

"Max," she greeted him.

Max was surprised to hear Pascale's voice on the other end of the line. He had been expecting to hear Colette's voice, and hearing her mother instead sent a jolt of anxiety through him.

"How is she doing?" He asked. He didn't need to say more. Pascale understood.

"She's...she's not doing well," Pascale said wearily. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice. "She's been crying almost non-stop since the news broke."

Max closed his eyes, his heart clenching painfully at the news. The thought of Colette crying, of her being so upset and distressed...it was unbearable.

"Can I talk to her?" he asked, desperately needing to hear her voice.

He needed to hear that she was okay, that she was holding up. He needed to know that she was coping.

Somehow. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Max held his breath as he waited for Pascale to respond. He could hear muffled voices in the background, and he knew that Pascale was likely talking to Colette.

"Maxie?"

Colette had cried. That was clearly obvious in her voice, how hoarse it was...how even these two syllable seemed to take so much effort from her, her voice hitching. He could hear her shaky breathing over the phone, clearly her trying to get a grip on herself and not worry him even more.

But that had become impossible the moment George Russell had decided to get completely bananas.

"Hey, liefje," he said softly. "How are you doing?"

Colette's voice caught on a sob, and Max's heart ached at the raw emotion in it. He could practically picture her, sitting in their living room, tears streaming down her face as she tried to hold it together.

"I'm...I'm not okay," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Max's heart clenched in his chest, and he desperately wished he was there with her. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her. But he could only listen.

"What can I do?" he asked, his voice thick with emotions. "How can I help you?"

He needed to do something, anything to ease her pain and make her feel better. "Do you want me to come home?" He asked her. "I'll do it, liefje. Say the word."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. He could hear Colette breathing heavily, clearly trying to compose herself.

"No," she finally said, her voice sounding a bit more steady. "No, please don't. You have a race tomorrow. You need to focus."

Max's heart squeezed at her words. He wanted nothing more than to hop on the next plane back to Monaco and be with her. But he knew she was right. He couldn't just abandon his team and the race like that. "If you change your mind..." he trailed off.

"No, we are not doing that," Colette said shakily. "Your races are yours, and I'll be waiting once you come home."

"You are more important than any race ever could be," he disagreed sharply. More important than anything else to him. He loved her so much. "I want you to know that."

He needed her to know that. 

She had always been a pillar of support to him. Had never questioned how much of his time his career demanded. Had never once thrown it at his head in an accusatory way. She had always accepted it. Had supported him every step of the way, from his first practice in a Formula 1 car, through his first point finish, his first race win, four championships…

She had always supported him. 

But no race win…no trophy, no world champion title was ever going to be as important to him as Colette. 

He would happily give all of that up, if it meant that he got to come home to her. 

He heard her exhale shakily.  "I do know that," Colette said softly. "I know that. But...But even if you were here, you couldn't do anything but hold me. Everybody is..." she trailed off and he could hear another hitch in her breath. "Did you...Did you see what Arthur did?" She asked him, and he could hear the tears in her voice.

"I did, liefje," he agreed softly. "He shouldn't have done that without talking to you first."

"Or to you. This is your life too," Colette disagreed.

"Colette," he said carefully. "I don't care that the public knows. You were the one that wanted to keep this private, which was completely alright with me. I agreed to that. It didn't bother me, liefje. But I wouldn't have cared if it was public knowledge either. I am only upset with Arthur because he upset you."

Colette didn't answer. He could picture her sitting on their bed, cross legged, one hand resting on her baby bump…she took deep breaths, clearly trying to keep her tears at bay.

"I just...I feel so stupid," she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. "I feel so stupid...I shouldn't be so upset by this. But I am and I..." her voice trailed off.

"Hey," he interrupted gently. "You are allowed to be upset, liefje. You are allowed to feel however you feel," he reminded her carefully.​​

There was a knock at the door and he looked up to see Gemma stick her head into the driver’s room, a grimace on her face. "Can it wait?" He demanded from her, not caring at all, that he was being rude.

"No, it can't. George Russell had some more stuff to say," Gemma said hesitantly.

Colette must have heard it, because he got to hear another choked off sob from her.

"Liefje," he said softly. "I want you to let me deal with this, alright? Don't look online. Don't search it out. Just ignore it. Your only job right now is to take care of you and our baby," he told her fiercely. "Let us take care of the rest."

Colette let out another shaky breath on the other end of the line. He could hear her trying to compose herself, trying to push the sobs back.

Finally, she said quietly, "Okay," in a small, meek voice, and he hated how defeated she sounded.

"Go cuddle with the cats," he told her softly. "Let your Mom spoil you."

"M…Maman’s making hot cocoa," Colette offered weakly, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

It was faint, but it was there. And that was all he could hope for right now."I am jealous," he teased her lightly.

"I'd save you some, but it's too good to share," she teased back before her voice caught on another sob, and he knew that this was it. This was the end of her being able to converse with him.

"Hey," he said gently. "I love you. So much."

"I love you too," Colette whispered in a broken voice. "So much."

Max hated that he couldn't be there, he hated that he had to hang up. He just wanted to hold her, to remind her that everything was alright.

"I want you to do something for me," he told her in a firm voice. "I want you to take a bath. And a long one," he told her. "One of the nice lavender scented bubble bath, I always make fun of you about. And I want you to eat dinner. And I want you to watch some of those stupid tv shows you love, and for you to relax. And rest. Can you do that?"

"I...I'll try," Colette said weakly over the line. He could hear her crying getting slightly worse again, the realization that they were ending the call obviously hitting her.

"And then you will take the best nap. And cuddle with our cats," he continued. "Alright? You'll do all that for me?"

"Yes," she answered him, her voice breaking on that one word.

Max closed his eyes, his heart hurting as he took a deep breath. "I am going to hang up now. I'm sorry, love."

"I know," she whispered, and he could hear the desperation in her voice. The need to keep the phone line between them open. But he knew that she was tired and he knew that she was distraught. And he knew that she needed rest. He needed to let her go.

"I love you," he said fiercely. "I love you so damn much, liefje. I'll talk to you as soon as I can."

"I-I love you," Colette managed back, before her voice broke on a sob again. "More than anything. Please...be careful tomorrow, okay? Be careful."

"I will," he promised her. "I swear, I will be careful. I'll come home to you in one piece, okay? I promise."

"You better," she told him in a wobbly voice. It was half pleading, half joking, and it just about crushed him.

"I swear. I'll try my damn hardest," he promised her. "And when I get home? I promise I will hold you for hours. I won't let you go, liefje."

He hung up on her then. And then he turned to Gemma. "What could Russell possibly have said that I should care about it right now?"

"How about that you have spent the last 15 years living a lie and that he wouldn't want you to date his sister, because your girlfriend probably is the one dealing with all your anger issues?" Gemma offered drily.

Max looked at her in disbelief for a moment, his mind refusing to process her words immediately, they were so completely insane.

"What?" He finally asked, his voice coming out in a disbelieving croak. Gemma handed him her phone, a grimace on her face. And there it was in black written text. Screencaps of statements George Russell had made.

 None of it making any sense whatsoever. Max had no idea what the other driver had snorted that had sent him off the rocker like that.

"They tried to get Charles Leclerc to comment as well, but he said it was insulting and that he has not once worried about you and Colette, more the opposite," Gemma said quickly. "Everybody that has ever seen the two of you together knows that it's complete bullshit, Max."

Still. He swallowed.

"I would never lay a finger on her," he said weakly. Not ever.

Colette was...Colette was everything. Colette had been his safe place before he even knew what that was or that he needed one. 

He would rather cut off his own hand than to put a finger at her in anger.

Gemma stepped over to him and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Everybody knows that," she told him gently. "Everyone that knows you knows that you would never. Just like everyone knows that the other stuff Russell has said is nonsense as well."

Max closed his eyes, letting Gemma's words sink in. He knew that they were true. The people in his life, the people that knew him and Colette...they knew that those accusations were completely ridiculous. That even thinking he would ever hurt Colette was laughable.

"But..." he said quietly. "Social media won't care that it's complete crap."

"It'll blow over. You know the online world has the attention span of a goldfish," she said with a shrug. "We'll send the usual suspects to talk to the media tomorrow to make it clear that you neither have anger issues nor that anybody needs to worry about you laying a single finger on Colette," Gemma promised. "I know that this is hurtful, Max, but I think it just makes it very clear that everything that Russell has said has been completely made up."

Max leaned his head against the door behind him, his mind racing, trying to process everything. He knew she was right. That everything she was saying was reasonable. But it still hurt. It hurt that somebody would come at him and his relationship with Colette like that. Especially when it was so clear that they knew nothing about them.

"I'm going to call some people," Gemma told him gently and with a final squeeze on his shoulder left the room.

Max took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, trying to process everything and calm his racing thoughts. He wanted to call Colette again. He wanted to explain again and again that he would never hurt her. That all of this was complete and utter bullshit.

But he didn't want to bother or upset her even more, if she had even been able to rest at all.

And he hated this. He hated this so much.

He really did. He hated that there was nothing he could do.

He hated that the next day was going to be a media circus. He hated that he was going to have to sit in a car for an hour and a half tomorrow, without being able to see or talk to her.

And most of all, he hated George Russell.

Bath. Lavender. Warm Water. And hot cocoa.

She felt like a child again.

Her Maman had been hovering around her all afternoon and early evening, fussing over her when she really didn't need it, but Colette was glad that her mother refused to leave her alone.

Especially when her mother tucked her into bed like she had done when she had been a wayward 6-year old. 

"Arthur didn't think," her mother said softly. "He didn't do this on purpose to hurt you."

Colette let out a shaky breath. "I know he didn't," she said thickly. "But I am just so mad at him. And it just...hurt," she admitted. It hurt more than she had thought.

"I know," her mother said softly.

Another shaky exhale, and Colette closed her eyes, just to keep the tears at bay.

"I knew it was going to come out one day," she admitted weakly. "But I never wanted it to come out like this. Not now.”

Bébé rumbled unerneath her skin, striking out to kick against her ribs once more. She laid her hand over where he had just kicked her. 

Her mother gently sat down next to her, gathering her in her arms and pulling her close. Colette melted into it and leaned into her Mom with a soft, shaky sigh.

"It wasn't right of Arthur to say anything," her mother told her quietly. "He had no right to share that picture. Nor to talk about your relationship. Not without talking to you about it first."

Colette swallowed back another bout of tears, hiding her face in her Mom's chest. "I know," she said, her voice breaking slightly. "I know, it wasn't his news to share, but...it's still just...it's just so upsetting."

Her mother ran a hand over her hair while the other circled her back in a soft, circular motion. "I know," her mother agreed, her voice kind and soft. "But this doesn't change anything. You know that, right? The important people already knew," she continued softly. "Your family and friends. They all know that Max and you are in a relationship."

A quiet nod, Colette still hiding her face in her mother’s chest, her fingers clinging onto her shirt.

"It's just...." she said weakly. "It still hurts. A lot."

Her mother's arms wrapped around her a little tighter, a gentle kiss placed atop her head. "I know," her Mom agreed again, gently rubbing Colette's back. "It hurts, and it sucks, and it's not fair that he didn't talk to you about it before. I'm sorry, Choupinette."

Colette swallowed again, and exhaled, trying to hold it together. But a few tears escaped anyway. "I just...I just wish that he hadn't. I feel so exposed now," she admitted in a half-whisper.

"I know," her Mom agreed again, letting Colette let out another round of quiet tears. "I know, Choupinette," her mother repeated, gently rubbing her back again, her arms tight around her.

Colette sniffled again, her emotions a tangled, swirling mess, and clung on tighter to her Mother. "I just...I just wish Max was here," she admitted in a broken whisper.v"He asked me if he should come home," she admitted softly.

Her mother’s hand ran gently up and down her back, still hugging Colette tight.

"What did you tell him?" she asked quietly.

Colette swallowed past the lump in her throat and breathed in shakily. "I told him to race. I told him I didn't want him to come home," she said shakily, more tears escaping her.

Her mother hummed quietly and hugged her a little tighter. "Why?" Her mother's voice was gentle and curious, no judgement and accusation to be found.

"Because I fell in love with a 12-year-old boy for whom racing was the most important thing in his life,” she answered, her voice soft. “Max has this...passion for it. This incredible love. And I promised myself then, that I was never going to be the one to take it from him," she explained softly. "I was never going to make him chose. Between me and racing."

And maybe that was also because for years...she had wondered if she was going to be the one of the two he would chose. 

Her mother was quiet behind her for a moment, only the soothing motion of her hand rubbing along Colette's back continuing.

And then her mother said, softly.

"You know he would chose you in a heartbeat, don't you?"

Colette buried her face further into her mother, her tears starting to flow again as she let her mother's words sink in.

Because she wanted to believe it. She really, really wanted to.

"He will never need to," she said simply. "He said ​​the same thing but…I would never take it away from him."

Her mother hummed again and tightened her arms around her a little.

"I know you wouldn't," she assured. "But he still wouldn't hesitate, love."

Colette took another shaky breath, trying to keep herself from completely falling to pieces just from the thought of it. It was true. She knew it deep in her bones. Max would drop everything to get to her, if she only asked. And it just made her feel like crying more.

"I just...I just miss him," she admitted in a sniffly voice, her nails digging in her mother's soft shirt.

Her mother's gentle hand was running over her hair again, trying to soothe her as best as she could. "I know, baby," she whispered. "You'll see him soon."

Colette huffed a breath against her mother’s chest, the thought both a comfort and a curse.

She wanted to see him. She wanted to crawl into his arms and just listen to him tell her everything was going to be okay, and believe every single word of it.

Another shaky inhale and exhale, and Colette's hands gripped her Mom's shirt, just to keep from completely falling apart.

It was all so overwhelming, with Max so far away, and just everything in general.

Her breath shuddered again when her mother's arms tightened around her once more, pulling her even closer to her chest, as if she was trying to protect her through sheer force of will.

Colette let her, burying her face in her Mom's soft chest and trying to hold it all together.

[willyoubemycherryy]

2 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 (𝓕. 𝓣𝓲𝓰𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓪𝓻)

Didn’t I tell y’all I was on the case?? He’s a bad mama jama and his accent is sexy. Here’s my heart, it’s yours.

Contains: kissing and I mean nasty kissing, drool, Fiyero is kinda obsessed and unhinged, you’re BOTH pent up, finger!ng, cursing, dirty talk, grinding, some hair pulling, multiple 0rgasms, unprotected worm riding😂, manhandling, and a whole lotta getting railed🤠 (I’m absolutely insane for him and this shows)

<333

“Alright, bye! Have a save trip back! Love you!” You yell after all your brothers and sisters, having hugged the last of them as they all exit your apartment early morning exactly 2 days later. You exhale a sigh of relief as you watch through the window at them loading into their cars and pulling off, smiling as one of your older sisters blows a kiss at your place before driving off.

A feeling of giddiness overtakes you because you can finally relax, closing your eyes for a moment as you take in the silence with a grin.

Dead calm. Oh, how you missed it.

The smell of your still burning sugar plum fairy fills the space and you push yourself off the wall to start cleaning, wanting to erase any and all traces of the headache that was most of your family.

As you’re cleaning, you find yourself thinking of everything that happened during the longest 7 days of your life. After the break with Fiyero in the bathroom and later sneaking him out the house so nobody ever found out he was in the bathroom with you- especially your sister- you all had went back to the shopping center in matching ugly pajamas to take purposely awkward pictures to send out. The poses were bad enough but Fiyero being witness had almost killed you with embarrassment. You guys made cookies and Fiyero hung around as the “judge” (it wasn’t a competition) while your sister not so subtle praised him for his looks. She didn’t know you two were dating so you let it slide but after a while you were concerned if Fiyero’s head would fit through the door with how big she was making it. Another thing you all did was something called “blind karaoke”. Basically, someone picked a random instrumental of a song and for whoever’s turn it was, they were supposed to sing the correct lyrics to that song and if they failed a certain number of times then they were “voted off the island”. It was chaotic with plenty of cheating accusations but fun.

Pausing, you look around, not even noticing how much you got done. Counters clean, floor swept and vacuumed; you decide to shower. Thankfully you cleaned your bathroom last night so less for you to do and the guest room will wait. Stripping off your clothes and turning the water on, you tie your hair up while you wait for the water to heat up, stepping in once you see the steam.

Hot water pours all over your body, soothing your muscles. It feels absolutely delightful, making you stretch with a soft hum. The atmosphere is quiet but not eerie as you gently go about your routine. You huff out a little laugh as you remember Fiyero’s critique on your shower routine that he found odd.

“You’re actually exfoliating first?” Eyebrows raised high as he watched you from where he sat on top of the closed toilet seat.

“I don’t think I like that judgey tone of yours.” You reply breezily, ignoring as you continue.

“No- I’d never-! I’m just saying wouldn’t it make sense to after you get all…soapy?” His eyes trail down your form slower, voice dropping at that last word and you flick water at him to keep him focused which doesn’t work the way you planned as Fiyero sticks out his tongue to catch more. You roll your eyes at his ridiculousness.

“Freak of nature. But no, exfoliating first helps the soap clean skin better. Y’know…the part where I get all soapy.” His eyes stay on you, licking his lips as he nods slowly and suddenly your chest feels warmer.

“I see. By all means then, continue.” You flush all over from the way he sounds but you play as if you weren’t affected at all despite the whole thing being strangely erotic. You completely naked and wet, while he watched you touch all over said naked skin while being completely clothed.

“You’ll stay the innocent bystander, won’t you?”, making your voice even sweeter, you coo at him. Your teasing backfires as Fiyero’s words send shivers up your spine.

“No promises, sweetheart.”

You rush to get out before you relive the rest of the way your little shower played out, wrapping a fluffy towel around you as you head to your room, still flushed from the memory and the heat of the water. The sweet smelling lotion you put on feels extra nice against your freshly shaved skin, as you rub it In absentmindedly; still distracted by your thoughts.

Since a hoard of your closest family members had been virtually stuck up your butt for a week, even though Fiyero had been around, you two never had a chance to be alone. Your thighs clench at the thought of the last time his hands were on you, suppressing a desperate whine, falling back onto the warm bedding. Confused as to why the bed was so warm until you remember that you’d left your heated blanket on.

You ignore the new ache in your core as you sigh, closing your eyes and turning over on your stomach. Dosing off before you know it, dreaming of pretty dimples and devious hands…

•

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

•.*

.’° •

You awake to the feeling of soft warm lips pressing all over your skin. A light gasp leaves you when they trail lower, kissing down your back and over your ass as big hands start to knead your shoulders. You call his name, a lovely purr to his ears and Fiyero hums.

“It’s been 2 days, pretty girl.“

A needier gasp comes from you and Fiyero closes his eyes as it reminds him of all the other delicious sounds he can get you to make. He told you earlier that week that he’d be back over after your family left. One: to give you time to wind down after and two: because he needed to cool off. It had been harder than he thought to keep his hands off you- used to following the pull that inspired him to be close to you at all times. Fiyero had been anticipating your reunion, missing you- wanting you so bad..but out of all the ways he’d pictured finally being alone with you going; finding you completely naked smelling like dessert and looking just like it on a warm bed wasn’t one of them. Not that he was complaining.

Feeling the bed shift, his blue eyes flicker down to see your soft thighs slightly parted, giving him the tiniest peek of the slick that’s already beginning to gather, your smooth hips shifting restlessly.

His mouth comes down heavy on your neck with wet kisses, hands wedging underneath you to pull and massage at your hard nipples. Your eyes roll back in pleasure, moaning his name, Fiyero groaning back at how responsive you are. The room feels 10 degrees hotter but it’s so good, your body thrumming as your clit pulses.

“Baby-“, the way you call out for him has him flipping you over so fast you get dizzy. You have only a few seconds to look up into his blown pupils before a pleasant current rocks through your body when Fiyero slots himself flush against your body, sucking wetly at your ears, jaw, neck, and wherever he can reach. His low groans vibrate through you and you don’t hesitate to grind up against his length, the material of his jeans giving you perfect friction, writhing and whining in pleasure. Your body jolts everytime his hips roll and his clothed cock hits your clit just right.

“Mmphf-!” Your grind becomes smoother, causing you and Fiyero to look down, seeing the dark patch your wetness left on the front of his pants. Fiyero furrows his brow before tangling a hand in your hair, dragging your panting mouth to his.

You melt like chocolate under him. Thick heavy fog fills your head and your bring your hands up to feel underneath his shirt, his flexing muscles and the patch of soft hair leading to your favorite place had you positively lightheaded. The kiss is messy and intense. His mouth demanding and merciless; he licks at the seam of your lips before shoving his tongue inside, melding it against yours as his blood rushes from the sensations and your fucked out moans.

If he thought you were wet before, it’s nothing compared to now, as he slips his hand between your spread legs.

You break apart with a gasp but you don’t get far with Fiyero’s hand in your hair as he growls against your open mouth, lips wet. In a clearer state of mind, the sounds coming out of you would have shamed you long into the future but you can’t find the concern for that anytime soon especially when you feel two thick fingers slide into you, wasting no time in fucking your tight walls.

“Damn- look at you…such a good girl, gettin’ so wet f’me”, Fiyero rasps out, not expecting an answer with the hearts in your eyes. Your cunt was practically strangling his fingers, each drag out only bought more arousal from your messy hole, the noises filling the room alongside your voice. It was everywhere and Fiyero closes his eyes at the sudden image of your knees pressed to your armpits, fat lips getting spread open as he licked you raw.

You felt so good you were on the verge of tears, hiccuping moans bubbling out of you as you finally got what you needed. Your shaky hands had undone his pants but couldn’t steady strong enough to pull them down, settling for massaging the fat length in his pants, all the pre made the glide easy, your head swimming when you imagine being fucked by it.

However, you don’t know if you even make it that far because you’re already so close to orgasm and he knows it, adding a third finger to stretch you out and the nasty squelch has him pulsing hard in your hands. His fingers go from thrusting to aiming upwards, hitting that special patch of nerves inside you and you’re soaking the bedding with all the slick pooling from you.

Drool seeps from the side of your lips and your so gone you don’t even notice Fiyero lick it off until he whispers against your lips after a particularly rough grind of his fingers has you keening high,

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me-“ he cuts off with a gasp when your thumb rubs hard into his leaking tip, heat racing up his spine like electricity.

“Y’gonna cum for me sweetheart? Gonna let her make a mess for me?”

Your lower stomach spasms visibly and he can barely move his hand from how tight your cunt is, hard clit pulsing against his thumb.

“Yeah, you are.”

In the last seconds before you come, you’re grateful that you’re pinned under him because if you were let loose, you could bite the roof of a house from how feral you’re feeling. One last roll of your soaked nub and you unravel with a scream.

Fiyero’s mouth covers yours in time before you convince your neighbors of possible murder, licking into it and swallowing your screams as you white out from the intensity, each spasm of your stuffed walls sending you higher and it takes a while for you to come down.

Popping of your mouth to give you a chance to breathe, Fiyero strips his shirt off, eyes on your boneless form. A light sheen of sweat coated both of your bodies but you’re far from done. Tilting your head up just in time to see Fiyero take his pants off, biting your swollen lips at way his fat cock slapped against his stomach, thick thighs flexing as he makes his way back on top of you. Your heart pounds hard enough to be felt through your entire body when he takes your hand, dragging it slow down his chest before pulling your hand back up, sucking the digits with a low hum, pleased at the flush that blooms all over you.

Fiyero slides his cock between your lips, coating himself with your arousal as he lines himself up to your hole. You whine in protest, “wait, lemme suck you off first-“ you’re cut off with a sharp moan when Fiyero slaps the head of his cock directly on your clit, blue eyes almost black as the sea at night as he stares down at you, voice heady and thick with desire.

“Later…but right now-“ he pulls your bottom lip down with his thumb, licking a stripe across your teeth, he continues, “mmm, right now, I need you to take it for me. She can do that f’me right, pretty?”

You nod so hard it almost gives you a headache but the soft chuckle from Fiyero adds to the pleasant buzz as he slides in, gripping your hips as you moan in unison.

You were always tight but after a week of no contact, you were damn near choking his cock as it stretched you out. Your scent — how fucking soft you are — your voice — the way your wetness left messy strings dripping off his cock every time he pulled out— everything was too much. He wouldn’t be able to go slow like this, the sound of your warbled desperate moans ricocheting off his skull and driving him insane.

The first slide in of Fiyero’s cock is always overwhelming. You doesn’t think you’ll ever not be gagging for this, the feel of his filling you up. You bite down on a moan, arching your back further, you need more. The darkly-amused chuckle Fiyero gives just makes your blood run that much hotter. You don’t have time beg him to fuck you stupid before he thrusts, relentless and brutal, fucking into you so good you sob from it. So good, so fucking good, you’re going to feel the ache in you for days but it’s exactly how you need it.

Fiyero’s abs contract, head tipping back at the way you feel, grinding and whining down onto his cock; letting him have you so wet and pliant as he rams into all your spots, trying not to lose himself in the waves of you. Unfortunately, you can’t help it — you feel yourself clench hard around him, hips twitching as he grabs your waist, holding your ass tilted up to hit deeper as he pounds you. Eyes rolling back at the stifling the cry from your throat as his cock bottoms out with every wonderful thrust inside you.

The room fills with obscene sounds: your scream moaning, the slapping of skin on skin, the squelch of your cunt as Fiyero plunges into it. Air can’t come fast enough and you know if you cum now you’ll pass out but you needed this so bad, whining as Fiyero takes two swollen nipples between his fingers rolling them, enjoying the cute way you cried for him.

“You’re gonna cum for me again, aren’t you?”, Fiyero coos down at your tear stained, drooling face, furrowed in pleasure. You try to prove him wrong; that you’re not coming, that you’re not about to make a mess but you give up quick. It just felt too good.

“Mmhm! Yes- cummin’!”, you let out a ear piercing wail as you get closer, almost right there, looking at Fiyero with pretty lidded eyes like he hung the stars in the sky just for you.

“Cum,” he breathes hot in your ear, teeth closing down on the delicate whorl. “Make your mess all over me, baby.”

You cry out against Fiyero, hips humping against his cock, shaking violently, back arching, almost lifting off the bed completely as your orgasm wracks through you, eyes flickering back into your skull. Drool dribbles down your lips between moans; dripping, your cunt gushing around the delicious stretch, sucking Fiyero’s cock in as far as you can.

Fiyero grits his teeth hard, his thrusts growing erratic and messy as he’s hurdled quickly towards his climax, lost in your pull. He cums with a wrecked low moan, burying himself deeper in the wet heat of your cunt, releases as deep inside you as he can. Lowering himself on you in a satisfied heap.

You two stay like that for a while, catching your breath, kissing softer this time- less rushed like you aren’t in a race to get the other pregnant by midnight, basking in the afterglow. He’s heavy like this. Laying completely over you but you love it, closing your eyes as you snuggle into him. He’s like a giant weighted pillow.

Fiyero is the first to move since you won’t be going anywhere for a while, looking down at you tenderly, rubbing the tip of his nose gently against yours, and you smile back tiredly.

“Give me 15 minutes and I’ll be ready to rock your world, pretty boy.” You say it like it’s a promise and Fiyero laughs because he’s always the one to tire you out.

“Cute. Maybe you’re just being cocky because we’re alone?”

“Guess you’ll have find out”, you say through giggles, squirming at the sounds he blows into your neck, smiling with you.

“I can’t wait.”

[magicaldestinyharmony]

In Life and Death Pt. 4

male!knight x female!count's daughter!reader part 4

CW: mentions of fire, burning bodies, fighting, beating, abuse, hunting of humans, death, killing, fatal wounds, blood, torture and whipping.

WC: 5.5k words

A/N: I don't know what happened guys I'm sorry (ToT) I blinked and it became this long. Enjoy I guess?

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

“What’s your name?”

“What?” Lucca turns to the female voice beside him, perplexed at the question.

She should already know his name.

“I asked you what your name is,” the fifth daughter of Count Balcom repeats.

Lucca blinks again. Completely and utterly confused. “Why does it matter?” he asks.

“Well, since you’re in my care now, I think I should call you something other than ‘boy’ or ‘you’,” she says.

“You can call me ‘slave’ like everyone else does,” Lucca helpfully supplies.

Her face takes on an Are you crazy? look.

She doesn’t say anything else, clearly waiting for an answer to her earlier question. An answer she isn’t going to get. Lucca keeps his mouth shut, hoping the silence will get her to stop asking and leave. The quiet stretches out.

Finally, she jumps up from her perch on the stool beside his bed. “Fine! It’s obvious you aren’t going to tell me so I’m going to leave and you can keep your stupid name to yourself!”

Instead of feeling satisfied with getting what he wanted, he feels bothered that she’s leaving upset. 

“Wait!” his hand grabs her wrist before she can completely leave.

She cocks an eyebrow, silently demanding he let her go.

“Lucca,” he whispers.

“What?” she asks.

“Lucca,” he repeats, a little louder.

She smiles and sits back down. “Thank you for telling me.”

Lucca inclines his head.

“Can I call you ‘Lucca’?”

He blinks at the question, then nods.

She grins. “Thank you, Lucca.”

◇◇◇

“Mommy?” a much smaller Lucca peaked around the door of his parent’s bedroom.

A graceful woman brought her fingers to her lips, a silent indication to be quiet as she left the bed and approached her youngest son.

“Come, sweetheart, let’s go downstairs before we wake up your father.” The mother picked her son up in her arms and headed to the kitchen on the first floor.

She sat him on a chair, knelt in front of him and grabbed his hands. “Is everything okay, love?”

Lucca sniffled. “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh, Lucca, honey.” She pulled him into her arms again in a comforting hug.

“I woke up alone in the dark and that scared me,” Lucca admitted quietly.

His mom pulled him in even closer and patted his back.

They stayed like that for a while. Nothing like a mother's love to chase away the demons of the night.

“Lucca, love.” She pulled away enough just to wipe away the little boy's tears. “Do you know why I picked ‘Lucca’ as your name?”

Lucca shook his head.

His mom smiled and caressed his cheeks. “‘Lucca’ means ‘bringer of light’. I picked this name at the time you were born because the first time I held you in my arms, the sun's rays burst through clouds, bathing you in its golden light.

“The name sounded fitting. But as you grew up from a tiny infant to a strong, healthy child, I realized that this is the perfect name for you. Everything you do, you do with the biggest smile on your face. Your smile is radiant, my love. Just like the light.”

Lucca watched his mom speak, hanging on to her every word. And when sleep gripped his young form again, he fell to its clutches with a happy smile on his face.

◇◇◇

“Hurry up, Beck, Lucca!” A young girl waved at Lucca and their older brother, beckoning them closer.

“We're coming!” Both boys looked at each other and grinned.

Beck smirked and started sprinting. “Last one to Hazel is a rotten egg!”

“Hey! Not fair!” Lucca took after his brother, trying to reach his older sister first.

Beck, with his head start, reached Hazel. Lucca shuffled in a little later, bending over. “That’s not fair! You should have counted down first!”

“Too bad.” Beck smugly shrugged.

Lucca squinted his eyes at the older boy. Beck is the oldest of three children. Then it's Hazel and Lucca.

Lucca grinned mischievously. “Uh-oh, I don’t like that lo–” Beck started but Lucca lunged at him.

“Whoa!” Beck managed to evade the lunge but Lucca started chasing him around the meadow.

“Boys! That's enough! The picnic is all set up!” their mother called for them.

She sighed, a smile playing on her lips as her boys overlooked her call.

Her husband, the boys' father, laughed. “I'll go get them. Why don't you get Hazel started?”

Hazel reached the sheet and plopped down. Their mother smiled at her family’s antics and settled down beside Hazel.

“Dad! Let us down!” The boys struggled in their father's hold playfully as he neared the picnic. He set them on the sheet and sat next to them.

The family had fun out together all day.

◇◇◇

“Are you sure, Hazel?” Lucca asked.

“Yes, Dad gave me my allowance to use didn't he?” Hazel nodded.

“True. But we aren't supposed to go to the market alone,” Lucca hesitated.

“It'll be fine. We’re old enough aren’t we?” Hazel assured him. “And”–she wiggled her eyebrows–“Mom, Dad and Beck are gonna get home late. If we beat them, how are they gonna know?”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her.

“Do you think Beck would like this?” Hazel held up a wooden horse figurine.

“Maybe, he always wanted to ride a horse.” Lucca shrugged.

“Ugh.” Hazel set the figurine back down and sighed. “Why is he so hard to shop for? And you aren't any help at all!”

“You just find it hard,” he teased her. “I’m uninterested because I already got him his gift.” Lucca stuck his hands in his pocket.

Hazel sighed dramatically.

“Let's just go home now, Hazel.” Lucca looked up at the sky. “The sun is gonna set soon. If we don't start going home, we'll get there at night and Mom and Dad will know that we went out without permission..”

Hazel sighed dramatically again. “Fine, you're right. Let's go home.”

The two rented a carriage. Their home was located in the forest. To reach it, you had to go through a bend in the road that led straight to their house.

As the carriage reached the bend, Lucca perked up. He stared out the window intently.

“Stop!” He yelled out to the carriage driver.

The carriage screeched to a halt. “What's wrong, boy?”

Lucca caught Hazel's startled gaze. “Lucca? What's going on?”

Lucca smiled hesitantly. “It’s alright, Hazel. I just remembered that I never bought Beck a gift.”

“That’s not true! You told me you had a gift for him already!” Hazel stared at him with wide panicked eyes.

“I lied. I lied, okay?” Lucca stepped out from the carriage.

He turned around and held Hazel's hands. “Promise me you won't leave the carriage until you reach town.”

“But–”

“Promise me!”

Hazel took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. Will… Will I see you again?”

Lucca smiled sadly. “I love you, Hazel. Forever and ever.”

Tears slid down her cheeks. “Lucca? What do you mean? Lucca?! Why are you say–?!”

Lucca slammed the door shut. Her fists pounded on the wood. “Lucca! Open the do–!”

He moved away, gave the carriage driver money and instructions to drive back to town and ran the rest of the way home.

Lucca stared at the hot, orange, gaping inferno swallowing his home.

Where was his family? His mom, dad and older brother?

Lucca gaped at the sight. He blinked, disbelieving what he was seeing.

He suddenly felt the need to do something. He raced towards the flames destroying his childhood memories.

“A kid! There's a kid running to the fire!”

“What?! Where did he come from!?”

“Is he in his right mind?!”

It was only when Lucca heard the voices, did he see the hooded figures in black. There were multiple of them, moving away from the glowing blaze. Their beady eyes peered at him.

Lucca ignored them and continued into the burning building.

“Mom?! Dad?!” he yelled around, looking for them. “Bec–!”

He gasped. There on the floor are the burnt bodies of his family. Lucca gagged at the smell of burning flesh and dropped to his knees.

“Beck? Beck?!” Lucca nudged the hand of his older brother.

The older brother who comforted him when injured.

The older brother who played with him.

The older brother who would sneak him food at night.

The older brother who had a smile that lit up the room.

The older brother who had an infectious laugh.

The older brother who's lifeless now.

The older brother who he can't see, hear, smell or touch anymore.

The scream that burst out of Lucca is gut-wrenching.

His face hardened.

He will never forgive the people who took his happiness from him.

Never.

He got up.

Ever.

Wiped his tears.

Ever.

Once Lucca stepped into the warm, dark air, it was with the determination to get revenge.

He glared at the men in black. He took one menacing step forward, then another. They snickered at him. What can a child do against many, grown mercenaries?

Lucca growled and picked up the nearest and heaviest branch. His roar had adult men hesitating.

“Capture him. Alive,” an authoritative voice called out from the darkness.

“Yes, my lord!” The mercenaries surrounded Lucca, holding swords.

A small fight ensues. Lucca managed to knock down five mercenaries before he was captured.

A hooded figure in red stepped out from the blackness. Lucca was made to kneel in front of him.

“You are one bold kid.” The man took off his hood, revealing his face.

“Do you know who I am, kid?” he demanded.

When Lucca refused to respond, the man gestured at one of the mercenaries.

The next thing he felt was the hot, searing pain of being kicked.

“Well?” the man urged him.

Lucca still didn't say anything.

Another gesture, another kick, more pain.

Lucca grunted.

The man raised an eyebrow.

“No,” Lucca spitted out.

“There you go. Was that so hard?” the mysterious man asked.

Lucca shrugged and went silent again.

“Well,” the man started. “I’m Count Balcom, the closest advisor to the emperor, one of the wealthiest nobles in the empire and have one of the best lineages.”

Lucca just stared blankly at the count. As a commoner, he wasn’t the most knowledgeable about nobles and their complicated ways.

Count Balcom walked around Lucca, giving him an appraising look.

“You would make for interesting prey.” He crouched and held Lucca’s chin up. “There’s fire in your eyes. I’m sure quenching it would feel fantastic.”

“I will never break. Never,” Lucca growled.

The count backed away and laughed. “It would be better if you cooperated.” He tapped his chin. “I believe a carriage was here. It was carrying your sister wasn’t it?”

Lucca’s eyes widened. “You leave her alone!”

Count Balcom laughed again and grinned wickedly. “If you cooperate, I’ll leave her alone.”

Lucca didn’t even hesitate. “If she stays safe I’ll come with you.”

The count gave an eerie smile. “I give you my word.” He turned to a nearby mercenary. “Take him to the wagon.”

The mercenary nodded and Count Balcom left in a flourish of red robes.

Lucca might have walked into the Balcom Manor willingly but it was hell on earth. He was abused daily and deprived of meals and water. He gave up figuring out time, in that damp, dark, dingy cell.

He hated it. What did he do to deserve this? What did his family do to deserve death?

These thoughts never left him. They circled and screamed. Wanting attention.

Yet he held on.

He must survive. He must survive. He must survive for Hazel. If he dies before he lets him he’ll kill her.

He ate whatever he was given and held on.

Then one day, Lucca was taken out of that gloomy cell. He was put on a wagon and taken to a forest.

When he saw the arrows and horses, he realized what the count meant by ‘prey’. He was going to be hunted.

He was instructed to stay in a small, open field in the woods. The field was beautiful with big trees and colourful flowers. It wasn’t a bad place to die.

He survived for Hazel. Keep on living, okay, Hazel?

When the arrow hit his heart, he had one last thought, he would finally be able to see his loving family again.

However, when Lucca opened his eyes, it wasn’t to the sight of his late family. It was to the sight of a mass of people yelling.

“The Divine Warrior woke up!”

“It’s the Divine Warrior!”

“Save us, Divine Warrior!”

Lucca was confused. What was going on?!

The High Priest explained it all.

Apparently every 1000 years, the evil dragon, Tanan, manages to break the seal placed on him. And every 100 years a Divine Warrior is born.

The Divine Warrior has a stronger physique, superior senses, a good intuition, heals faster, uses aura and has three lives. That means that the Divine Warrior has two other chances at life if death gets to them. 

The Divine Warrior awakens when they turn 18. If they die before that, their soul is preserved at the Grand Temple. Once their soul turns 18, they awaken in their older body. Once awakened, two marks appear on the Divine Warrior’s hand. It is only visible to them and counts how many lives they have left.

The job of the Divine Warrior is to reseal Tanan. If Tanan hasn’t broken free yet, their job is to save the people from evil beasts who are his underlings.

As of right now, Lucca has already lost one life, courtesy of Count Balcom.

“I see,” Lucca said, staring out the window. “So now what?”

“Now,” the High Priest began. “Now, you start your training. It is soon time for the evil dragon to break free.”

“Very well.” Lucca turned to face the older man. “But first, I want you to find someone for me.”

The High Priest nodded. “Sure. Who are they?”

“Hazel. Her name is Hazel Puhlavan.”

“What?! She's what?!” Lucca slammed his fist on his mahogany desk.

“I apologize, Your Eminence. Hazel Puhlavan is dead,” the High Priest repeated.

Lucca shoved away from his desk. She was dead?!

“But how?! I did exactly as he said,” he murmured.

Lucca whirled around to face the man. “How? No, when?”

The High Priest bowed slightly, fearing the Divine Warrior’s wrath. “She was killed on a carriage three years ago. It seemed like murder but the case was closed because of insufficient evidence.”

“Damn it!” The desk received another punch.

He shouldn't have trusted that bastard's words. 

Hazel was dead but he was here and alive.

Lucca dropped back into his seat. “You're dismissed.”

The High Priest immediately scurried off.

Lucca sighed. He survived this long for what? To find out that the fate of the world rests in his hands? To find out that his sister is dead?

What did he do to deserve this?

“Hahaha! A mere mortal tries to defeat me? Me, the great Tanan?!”

Lucca wondered if all the Divine Warriors before him had to go through this. The evil dragon is very full of himself.

“Come at me, mortal. You'll never be able to defeat me!”

Lucca gripped the Divine Sword. It's the Divine Warrior’s ultimate weapon. It's crafted from lodyed, a precious stone given to Divine Warriors. It allows them to imbue the Divine Sword with aura.

Red light glinted on the silver, polished blade, giving it a crimson look. With Tanan came, what the temple calls, the Haur Moon. It's the source of his power and hangs in the sky. Shadows cast the field of the face-off in black. The combination of red and black gave the place an ominous feeling.

Tanan stood tall, taunting Lucca with his prowess.

“If you're so great, how come you keep getting resealed?” Lucca raised an eyebrow.

“How dare you! You're a mere human!” Tanan lunged at Lucca in anger. 

A deadly fight starts.

The evil dragon shot a fireball. Lucca jumped away to avoid it.

The bloody dance continued. Lucca swung his sword. It grazed the dragon’s arm. Tanan roared. His massive tail came crashing down beside Lucca, creating a big dust cloud causing him to cough. 

The dust blocked his vision. His head snapped up just in time to see the mighty tail strike again. Lucca raised his sword to injure and ran backwards, keeping the sword up. He left a gaping, bloody wound in his wake. Tanan howled, no doubt in pain.

“Where are you, human?! I will destroy you!”

While Tanan frantically looked around for him, Lucca used the shadows to his advantage. He crept up on Tanan. Using his aura to propel him upwards, Lucca jumped to land the final strike on Tanan's head.

“There you are!” the dragon suddenly turned around, his eyes gleaming wickedly. 

Lucca's own eyes widened in surprise.

Tanan struck Lucca with his claw. He barely eluded the fatal point but it still pierced his arm.

“Ugh.” Lucca got the wind knocked out of him when his back hit the ground.

With his arm bleeding, Lucca stood again. He grabbed his sword.

It was time to end this. It was Lucca or the dragon.

Lucca jumped again and growled. He imbued the Divine Sword with aura. When he penetrated the hard layer of scales and the soft tissue under, so did Tanan's sharp claw into his torso.

Lucca heaved as blood rushed up his throat. He fell with a thud and coughed some more.

Tanan thundered and collapsed in a heap on the field. The evil dragon has finally been defeated.

I have to perform the sealing spell.

Lucca blinked against the blackness filling his vision. He coughed up more blood.

I have to–

The blackness consumed him.

Lucca convulsed and opened his eyes. The once red field was now bathed in a reddish-orange glow. Lucca spied the sun sinking below the horizon. The Haur Moon was gone.

He sighed. Everything was finally over. Two gruelling years of training have finally paid off.

Lucca spotted Tanan’s black form.

Well, everything was mostly over.

He sat up and propped his arm on his knee. The gash Tanan left him has healed completely. No matter how many times it happened, Lucca’s ability to quickly heal never ceased to amaze him.

A glance at his right hand told him what he feared. He lost another life. Only one gold mark remained. It sparkled in the glow of the sunset. Lucca had one more chance at life.

Lucca sighed again and raised his tired form. He trudged over to the source of much grief and horror.

With the evil dragon defeated, Lucca can finally breathe easy.

It would also be time for his vengeance.

After finishing the sealing spell, Lucca headed out to perform the necessary steps to complete his revenge.

He would amass great power and wealth. And once he did, he would destroy Count Balcom.

Screams filled the dim halls of Balcom Manor.

“No! Please! Please have mercy!” A maid cried at his feet.

Lucca silenced her sobs. He didn't even twitch at the smell and sight of red oozing out of the corpse on the heart pine wood floors.

The staff that weren't on the floor cowered. Lucca brandished his sword and restained the wood red.

Yells echoed in his ears but he kept moving.

Lucca would get his revenge.

“Stop right there, you monster!”

He looked up to see a flock of knights blocking his advance.

“You won’t make it past us!” The knights all pointed their blades at him.

Lucca laughed. His face hardened and he charged. The sound of piercing flesh reverberated in the hallway.

“Wa-wait! Please spare me!” The last knight recoiled.

“Where is Count Balcom?” Lucca prompted.

“H-he’s in the ballroom. The re-rest of the ar-army is with him,” the cowering man gulped.

“Thanks.” Lucca stabbed the knight.

He stepped over the body and continued in the direction of the ballroom.

When Lucca reached the immense mahogany doors, his sword was dripping and his dark blue clothes were splattered with the same liquid.

When the doors swung open, shouts rang out.

“Stop! Drop your weapon!”

“Surrender and you might be spared!”

But one voice stood out. “You’re one brave young man. Your rampage ends here!” Lucca recognized the condescending tone.

He scoffed. All of his staff lay dead and all he did was barricade himself here.

Lucca swung his sword, cutting knights down left and right.

Count Balcom stared in horror at the man who was slaughtering his knights. A wary smile played on the count’s face. He was arrogant enough to think he was invincible. However, when Lucca towered over him, the smile fell off his face.

“Wait! Tell me what you want! Money? Power? Women?” Count Balcom reeled and Lucca stepped forward.

“If you want women, I have plenty of daugh–”

“Why did you burn that house in the forest five years ago?” Lucca cut him off.

Confusion marked the man’s face. “What?”

“And the girl. Why did you kill the girl in the carriage?” Lucca asked again.

After a long silence, it became apparent that the count didn’t know what Lucca was asking.

Lucca laughed. It was a sad, bitter and angry sound.

All that fury and resentment and anticipation for revenge. The five years he spent bending to powerful figures to get honour and wealth. They all amount to nothing if he couldn’t inflict pain and fear upon Count Balcom’s haughty face.

In his daze, Lucca didn’t notice when Count Balcom picked up a sword from a fallen knight.

“Die, you filthy peasant!” The count sloppily swung the sword in a feeble attempt at killing.

Lucca easily avoided the blade and retorted with a swing of his own. His sword plunged swiftly into Count Balcom's chest.

“I hope you rot in hell,” Lucca whispered in the count’s ear.

Lucca left the man in a bloody heap on the once beautiful heartwood floors and took off to find the rest of the Balcom family.

Now there was one left. The fifth daughter.

Lucca approached the fifth daughter’s chambers. She was the last piece to complete his revenge.

He opened the doors and an eerie creak sounded out. He found her standing in the room with her back to him. The moonlight barely illuminated her form.

Lucca’s sword grazed the wooden floors. He stopped right behind the woman. He knew she was the fifth daughter, yet he asked anyway, “Are you the fifth daughter of Count Balcom?”

She turned around and said, “No. I think you have the wrong person.”

Lucca scowled. He wasn’t expecting the sarcasm. The woman gave him a once-over.

Silence rang out. Big and heavy.

“Spare me!” cut the sinister quiet.

She boldly stared into his eyes.

“No.” He didn’t hesitate. No one associated with the Balcom name will live. He would make sure of it.

The woman frowned. “If-if I saved you and prevented that ‘incident’, would you spare me?”

He snickered. Nothing anyone did would erase the pain, guilt and sorrow. It won’t bring his family back to life, would it?

“No. The only way I would spare you is if you drain all of the Balcom blood from your body. Only then would you be spared.” As long as the Balcom blood ran through her veins he would kill her.

She flinched at the gleam of his ruby-coloured sword. With a sudden movement, the woman swallowed something and doubled over in pain. Lucca hesitated, confused. But just as quickly, she fell to the floor and clutched her chest.

A weird feeling washed over him. He blinked. However, when he opened his eyes again, it wasn't to the moonlit room.

◇◇◇

“Is he still in the wagon?” a masculine voice asked.

“Yeah, I made sure of it. The last thing we need is Count Balcom’s anger,” another answered.

Lucca looked around him, very bewildered. What he saw was an oak wood wagon. Crates and barrels filled it, crowding the small space. The contents were jostled around with the caravan’s movements.

He remembered this wagon. Lucca was brought to Balcom Manor on this wagon. Was this an illusion? Did that woman cast some spell on him?

The caravan abruptly halted to a stop. Lucca heard gravel crunching under leather boots before the back covering was removed.

“Come on, kid. Get out. Don’t pull any tricks or the girl gets it.” The same grotesque mercenary and the same words.

This wasn’t making any sense.

Lucca was roughly pulled out of the wagon and brought before Count Balcom.

“Let’s go, son. I’ll show you your new home.” The count stood at the front doors with a conceited grin on his lips.

He motioned for Lucca to go in first. Stepping inside, Lucca saw the foyer. The front hall was beautifully decorated. A grand and alluring glass chandelier graced the cream-coloured plaster ceiling. An immense wooden staircase stood at the back of the space. Lots of vases with colourful flowers filled the chestnut-coloured corners. In the heart of it, the staff and the occupants of the manor bowed in greeting of its owner.

A girl eased out of her curtsy and focused on him. She looked like a younger version of the fifth daughter. She frowned in confusion at the sight of him.

Did she place a curse on him? Was he now fated to relive the grief, regret and misery? Did she think that having him relive all of that would spare her?

Well, she was mistaken. He would never spare a living Balcom. Just like he lost everything and everyone he held dear and fell into misery he would make sure that they felt despair too.

“Hey, you!” Count Balcom rudely bellowed from behind him. “Take the boy to the dungeons.”

A maid nodded and hurried him down. Down to darkness and torture.

Lucca blinked and saw feminine features. The fifth daughter peered down at him.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “I tried to be as gentle as possible. I’m sorry if it hurts.” 

Only then did Lucca notice the salve and gauze sitting beside the girl. The throb on his back was evidence of her treatment.

Was this some kind of new game? A new form of torture?

She pulled out bread from her bag. “Here, I got you some food.”

Lucca stared at her. Was she going to show him kindness and then brutally stab him in the back? Was she going to give him light in this blackness and then take it away?

She took out a pastel pink handkerchief and placed it with the bread in front of him.

He blinked three times.

“Don’t worry! I didn’t do anything to the bread. It’s not poisoned or anything,” she affirmed.

When he didn’t say anything, she sighed. “Alright. I’ll leave you alone.” She stood and dusted herself off. “I’ll come back tomorrow to heal your wounds and get you some food!”

Her absence didn’t quiet his raging thoughts.

The same events over the next 10 years repeated themselves. Getting killed at Count Balcom’s hand, waking up as the Divine Warrior, resealing Tanan and currying favour with the kings of the continent.

The only change was the death of Count Balcom’s fifth daughter. He found her in the same room but he managed to cut her down and she didn’t swallow anything.

Yet the same strange feeling engulfed him again.

◇◇◇

“He-her Ladyship isn't at th-the manor,” the attendant stammered.

“Explain,” Lucca urged.

“Sh-she left as so-soon as she turned 18. No one has he-heard anything from her ever since.”

Lucca laughed. So she was the one who sent him back in time. Did she think leaving would stop him?

With a slash of his sword, Lucca stopped the sputtering man in his tracks. “Thanks.”

The fluttering of Lucca's cape echoed in the soundless manor as he left in pursuit of the runaway lady.

“There you are. I finally found you,” Lucca spoke to her turned form.

She froze. “I admit that leaving the empire was a smart move on your part. It was quite hard to track you down,” Lucca continued.

She didn’t say anything.

“Well, I guess the chase ends here.” Lucca raised his sword and struck her.

For some reason, the sight of her blood on his sword and the sand made him frown. And the same weird feeling from before made him frown harder.

◇◇◇

At the sight of the same oak wood wagon for the fourth time, Lucca sighed deeply.

These time loops need to stop. And the fifth daughter of Count Balcom has the answer.

This time, Count Balcom’s fifth daughter got married to a baron in the countryside.

“Stupid wench! You dare talk back to me? If I tell you to do something, you do it! Why do you never learn?! Do I always have to beat you for you to understand?!”

Lucca shook as he saw the man strike her.

How dare he hurt her?

Lucca kicked down the door and pulled out his sword.

“Who dares to interrupt me?! I specifi–” Lucca didn't let him finish. He landed a blow on his jaw.

“Ho-how dare you!” the man spluttered on the floor.

Lucca scoffed. This man has some guts.

With a slash, the man’s head rolled. A low shriek made him turn around. The sight of the fifth daughter hunched over on the ground reminded him of his purpose.

The haze of anger cleared and the red faded away. He loomed over her.

What was he doing? She was the daughter of his enemy. He couldn’t be feeling bad for her. She was the reason he was reliving his life for the fourth time.

With another slash, Lucca killed her. And on cue, the strange feeling came again.

◇◇◇

“Th-the lady has gone crazy!”

“She was de-demanding ways to drain her bl-blood!”

“Count Balcom or-ordered her to re-re-recuperate at the southern villa!”

“She hurts herself all the time!”

“She has truly gone insane!”

Lucca’s steps reverberated in the hall of the Balcom Southern Villa. It wasn’t hard to locate. A quick interrogation of the servants also told him where the room of its occupant was.

He stopped at the door. Through hell or high water, I will find you and kill you.

Lucca opened the oak wood door. The room was nicely done in shades of light blue and white. But the appearance of the fifth daughter made him frown.

She was tucked into bed. But the iron chains holding her hands up were a morose contrast to the elegant room. Her head was down, her hair a curtain to her face.

He trod into the room and she looked up. The sight of her face was worse. Scratches lined her cheeks and there were bags under her eyes. Her body was skinny and marred by scars and wounds. Her eyes remained blank as she took him in.

For some reason, Lucca’s heart hurt. With a jolt, he realized that he hated seeing her like this. Helpless and wounded.

But Lucca wasn’t one for emotions. So he struck her anyway. His eyes closed in anticipation of the same feeling.

◇◇◇

She approached him. “Hello. Are you alright?”

“For injuring my precious daughter, you will receive 15 whips.” The count grinned creepily.

With a grip on her head, the girl responded, “N-no. Wh-when wronged, we sh-should give back tenfold what we received. I-it’s the Balcom way, right?”

“Take him to the dungeons and make sure to give him his punishment.” With that, Count Balcom departed.

At the intense throbbing from the whip marks, Lucca opened his eyes. He saw Count Balcom’s fifth daughter and scowled. She glared at him, shook her head and continued working.

She patched up his last wound, left some bread and got up. He watched her in silence. Why did she keep helping him, a murderer? No matter how many times he killed her, she treated him without fail.

“Why do you care?” His voice was a little hoarse.

“You got hurt because of me. Of course, I care,” she said firmly.

He scoffed and she shrugged.

She started leaving and Lucca crushed the urge to stop her. To tell her to stay. To tell her that she was the only kindness he experienced through all the time loops. To tell her that he–no he shouldn’t be having these thoughts. She was the daughter of his enemy and, therefore, his enemy as well.

Lucca turned to his side, giving her his back. He heard her footsteps fade away as he told himself to not be emotional. He couldn’t afford it. Survival wasn’t for the weak and emotional. And he certainly wasn’t weak and emotional.

◇◇◇

“Lucca! Are you listening to me?” Count Balcom’s fifth daughter exclaims.

“Ah.” Lucca nods.

She smiles. “So, as I was saying–” she continues telling her tale.

Truth is, Lucca didn't hear most of her story. He was too busy watching her animatedly talking.

Tags!

@dreamlessnight

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

New Fic: wake up, boy, you're far from home

I lied about my last post of the year. Here it is. 5pm December 31st.

This was prompted by @goldenbcnes - love you, Nova! Hope you enjoy it!

Summary:

Eddie is miserable in El Paso, having seemingly made things worse. Buck is miserable in Los Angeles, without him. When Buck agrees to go home to Hershey for the holidays, everything implodes.

Snippet:

“Mom and Dad have invited us for Christmas this year,” she says. “That might be fun, right? Hershey? Snow - a proper white Christmas?”

Bad idea. Definitely a bad idea.

“They want me to come?” Buck asks. 

“Yeah,” Maddie says. “They do. We just chatted.”

Then why didn’t they call him themselves? Only had the energy to extend the invite to one child, and they picked the favorite? No. That’s not how this went down. He knows everyone well enough to see that. They called Maddie. To invite Maddie, Chim, and Jee. And Maddie didn’t want to exclude him. That’s all this is. 

Once again, Buck is an afterthought, and nothing more. But not to his sister. He has never been to Maddie. Maybe she’s the only person he can really say that about, even if he didn’t believe it for years.

---

Tagging:

@epicbuddieficrecs @theotherbuckley @sevenweeksofunrepression @slowlyfoggydestiny @goldenbcnes

@diazsdimples @exhuastedpigeon @aquamarineglitter @loserdiaz @steadfastsaturnsrings

@your-catfish-friend @incorrect9-1-1 @hawaiianlove808 @babytrapperdiaz @watchyourbuck

@lyricfulloflight @tizniz @aroeddiediaz @estheticpotaeto @buckleybabyblues

@buddieswhvre @l0v3t0hat3y0u @mage8 @theautumnbard @lightningmcqueer8

@kultiras @inell @mrs-f-darcy @spencers1nonlygf @nibblyssacrifice

@thetommoway-oioii @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @swiftiefirefighters

As always, let me know if you'd like to be added to my writing updates tags :)

[orleans-jester]

This Pierre, in this alternate verse, chose Piper. It was his last night alive, he had an inkling of that, and was choosing to spend it with Piper. A sensuous, sexual, passion-charged night. He was still the Pierre that everyone knew and rolled their eyes at, no matter the universe he still had a wandering eye, but when it counted? He chose Piper.

This Pierre had gone with the Laveaus when his mother and sister had come to confront Phoebus and pick up their stuff. He hadn’t tortured Thomas with hours of trying to justify his decisions. He had still been a pest at the Laveau house, sure, but it wasn’t out of anything bad-natured. That’s just what happens sometimes. But he didn’t make an enemy of himself, the way that the Pierre standing next to Piper right now had.

So all of that could very much have factored into the decision that Piper was going to make very soon.

“I missed you too,” Pierre said, his dark eyes brightening as he looked at her in the dim lighting of the room. “You were always my number one girl, you know that, right? No matter what happened, no matter who I was with, my mind … it always went right back to you.”

Even now, he kept tearing his eyes off of the vision of himself and Piper in that bathtub, and looking back to the real one. And that was damn hard for him. He was never one to turn down free porn.

He moaned, his Adam’s apple bobbing as she was touching him in this enclosed space. It was hard to focus on the plan when she was looking at him like this. Touching him like this. His breath was coming out quicker. Real touch. Not what happened in Hell. But real. Honest. Touch. “Promise me - we’ll have lots of time for this in the future?” He whispered.

He even thought about turning back time to when they got here. Have her here in this closet. He was already hard as a damn rock, just from her touch. Just from hearing himself in that bathtub out there. And from the idea of having life once more.

He let out a small groan into the kiss, his hands on his hips, feeling the dip of her waist before it flared out into that. “You’re bringing me back, how can I say no?”

He never even questioned how this one was going to die. He just saw the lucky fucker in a bathtub. At least he was having a good last day right? And then the thump - thump - thump of heavy footsteps. It sent a shiver up his spine just hearing them coming. He was growing nervous now. He was trying to appear brave, for Piper’s sake but shit, he was still a bit squeamish. He almost wanted to stay in that closet but Piper’s pull brought him out of it and he went running. Jump and slam. Jump and slam. Easy peasy. Like - those stupid football games that Ronno’s dad loved to watch.

And he tried. But the slam was too hard. Too physical. And what he did was slam his way into Delta’s line of fire, and push the other Pierre out of the way, and Piper grabbed him and took him back to the alternate universe. The exact Pierre Renault that everyone knew and loved to hate, was gone in a vomitous, fiery spew.

And now this new Pierre Renault was in this other world, the ends of his hair still damp, naked with a towel, and trying to get his bearings. But his eyes settled mainly on Piper, someone familiar, someone who he had just been with, someone who was now somehow magically dressed. His eyesbrows were furrowed as he ran his fingers nervously through his hair, making no attempt to tighten the towel or cover himself up more. They had talked about this happening but - actually having it happen?

Much like how he had made other decisions that greatly affected his life, though they might not have seemed so monumental at the time, others had too. In this other life, New Orleans hadn’t been wiped out. There weren’t zombies walking around. Hence how the scribbles kept ending up at Delta’s door, there were still plenty of them around. These changes were going to have to be adjusted to, once his mind wrapped around everything.

But one thing that never changed across universes was these were his two dudes. A grin came across his face as he saw them. He was alive. Seven never died in his universe so he was still alive too. He still had his two best guys. “It’s - definitely me,” He said, because in a way, it was. He was him. Pierre Renault.

He looked down at himself and chuckled. “Man, I wish. That sounds so much nicer than what really happens,” He said, a shiver going down his spine as he thought about the way that he would have died if not for Piper’s interfering. It could very well have come from the cold as well. “Dragon fire.”

He took the blankets from mothers with a charming grin, cacooining himself in one. And then because some things never truly change - “Wanna get somewhere warm and give this body a spin?” Which one of them was he talking to? All, of course.

The ladies loved the charm. Some people were turned off by it because they could sniff it out so easily, but these ladies didn't mind being razzle dazzled. Clotho had no doubts he'd be back up to 100 percent charming in no time.

As for Zero going emotional overload on Pierre at the last minute, he couldn't help himself. The anticipation made him burst. It all flooded out.

The guilt had been eating Zero alive. Fear of hurting more than he already apparently was stronger than guilt. It won out in the end. Luckily, Pierre smoothed it over quickly. "Thanks Pierre. You know how to make a guy feel better." Maybe he was still his aftercare guy after all? He just didn't know everything he was going to need aftercare from. Guilt counted. So did confusing internalized feelings he'd never be able to discern. All he knew was he felt better now.

Well, he'd feel better about the moment both Pierre and Seven were back. Seven down, Pierre to go.

After Pierre had disappeared on and he was left with Seven the number boys had their own private conversation while Piper and Pierre were off getting an eye full of self porn from their multi-verse doppelgangers.

This is where Pierre got explained the whole plan. He seemed to get the gist of it. Piper supposed it was enough.

"Yeah, maybe so." She said smoothing her hands over his shoulders in such a sensual way it could only seem like she might just be getting aroused by the scene before them, or by Pierre's suggestion. "Maybe we should."

Then she leaned her forehead against his. "I really have missed you." She smoothed her thin long, graceful arms around his shoulders. "I once wondered if it was just the idea of you. Then I realized we were never a couple, so that didn't make sense. The idea of what? Right? We were always just us. That's when I knew for sure it was just you. Not some idea in my head of who I thought you might be. I just missed the times we did have. Wished for simpler times maybe. But nah, no farfetched fantasies. I know what was missed."

As she spoke her eyes would glance over at the pair in the bath gauging the moments knowing the routine because she'd seen it before. What a world it was when this was one of the last things Pierre would do before his last breaths. He wasn't so lucky in their timeline. She'd look fondly at Pierre and say, "It's almost time. When I so go, we're going to follow out behind them, but stay low."

She kept staying close though. She kept running her fingers through his hair, her nose against his neck, hands would smooth up and down his arms. She was remembering Pierre. It'd been so long. She kept having little flashes of their times in the forest or at the party in Funkytown. Fun times. Easier times. Times when he was just a boy, and she was just a girl. Neither one of them were anybody special that either of them really knew of.

Then her muscles would start to tighten as time drew near. She readied herself. She looked up. "I wanted to thank you for saying yes." She knew damn well he could have said no. "It was the most purple thing you could have ever done for me." Then she kissed him deeply, a high vibration thank you with all the energy she put into it. He would be able to feel it fuzzing off the edge of her skin. It took all herself control to not have her groove kick on in a moment like that. She might not have been as high strung with the music as Kuzco, but when emotions were high even Piper had a difficulty containing.

Then rattle-rattle, clang-clang, footsteps were clodding echoes down the halls towards the bath chambers the pair were basking in.

She patted his shoulder. Like now. Now. Get ready Get ready. She was waving her hand in a frantic be still, almost sort of way as Piper and Pierre went sloshing out of the tub to see what was going on. Pierre's name was being called. The voice should be familiar to them both as Delta was hardly an unknown relic to either time jumper here.

They were hidden in an unknown part of Delta Castle.

Why? In that timeline things had gone a little differently and as a timekeeper Delta kept him on board longer than she had in the current timeline. He didn't make the same mistakes he had this timeline. He made a few different ones. Whatever they were caused an uproar because Delta was tired of unknowns she referred to as his scribble faces coming up to the castle looking for him. She told Frank if one more of his scribbles comes to her door looking for Pierre she's going to burn him alive. She was just sick of it. They like low maintenance monsters. The Hunch's family was all they could handle in this world too. Sorry Pierre. It's an acid bath for you.

The footsteps would change dramatically because Delta was transforming and slamming into walls in her dragon hide through awkward corridors. Dragon scales smashed corners like armored dozers and armored trucks and she barreled in.

Even Diablo's voice would be squawking Pierre's name. Piper would be pushing him out, "You better go." She'd be helping him with a towel as she wrapped her own.

The real Piper would be holding low and gripping the real Pierre's arm. "Here we go."

Once Piper and Pierre ran out into the corridor, she pulled him out of the closet. "Come on. Come on." She hurried.

She bent down. "Watch. Right there. Just jump at him. JUMP HARD. With intention with this." She put the mini purple hourglass in his hand. "You don't have to turn it. Just hold it. Just hold it and jump. Slam into him. Slam into him and everything will happen so fast. As long as you're holding this, it'll be a done deal. I'll go right home too. The new body goes home. You got it. Right when you see the dragon's shadow emerge from that hall. That's when you jump."

Just outside in the hall where they were talking the doppleganger Piper and Pierre were arguing hearing the dragon gaining headway. Piper was wondering what Pierre did this time because Delta gave him his last warning. Pierre was feigning shocked innocence while naming a few things as if they shouldn't have counted and wasn't sure if Delta might have counted them.

So as the pair were making up their minds what to do, time would too fast. The dragon would speed forth spew acid all over Pierre and get this pesky problem out of Delta's curly boingy hair.

However, when she'd spring forth that's the pinnacle moment of truth. Piper had her moment of clarity. Those devil horns spun out from the spirals of her spiked puppeted mind.

Maybe she'd just push the dopple-Pierre out of the way to head out with the real hourglass. She'd leave the real Pierre behind, a purple trinket in his hand from her belt. The one she'd carried like a burden of grief and lady of sorrow for his time gone. But this was no Via Dolorosa. No, she was here to save a life. Maybe Pierre would still get the last laugh, but this Pied Piper lured a Pierre away and gained another in return.

Chomp. Drizzle. Acid bitch sizzle.

The current timeline soul - back to the other side. Dead. In the multiverse otherworld killed by Delta's acid out of sheer annoyance not for anything heinous.

Back in the current world with the mother Fates and strings that were now bonded-

"Told you I'd save your life." Piper said to the new Pierre. A Pierre that no one else knew was any different. In many ways he wasn't. It was their plan all along. "Now live it with meaning. Live it deliberately."

Zero and Seven would be clueless at this point. It would be the same Seven. No tricks. He was a last-minute decision brought into this. Piper had been plotting this with the Fates for so long trying to find the perfect Pierre. So many strings.

It was why this Pierre would seem to know her. It was why Seven and Zero wouldn't suspect a thing at this point. Piper came from the future and told him he was going to die but didn't tell him when. With his abilities she didn't want him messing anything up. Everything would go off without a hitch and now they were back with a living and breathing Pierre and Seven. Also, with how Piper knew the other Pierre reacted having to keep himself a secret in a different body she didn't want this one to have to go through that again, so even though she promised this one he was going to get to be open about things with most people they'd have a discussion about all that once they got to this world.

Zero was wide eyed. Seven too. They'd had their moments alone. Now they were taking in Pierre.

"Woah my man, woah. You made it. Is that really you?" It was supposed to be a rhetorical question, but in this case maybe it should have been literal.

"What's with the wardrobe change? Not that I'm complaining. Heh. eh." He looked down at the towel that magically managed to stay on during their time travel back to this timeline. "You drown in the bathtub, right? That's got to be it? Am I right?" Trying to guess how Pierre died in his alternate life felt like a fun thing to do seeing him come back in next to nothing but a skin sweater.

The mothers were already on it bending down in their baskets picking up blankets to carry over to him in case he was cold catering to him.

[t4tmagicians]

CW: broken bones, implied child abuse

Steph's dad is in prison. She doesn't like to think about him, and if anyone asks, she just says she doesn't have one.

Bruce grips her hand tightly as she grits her teeth. They're chasing after someone, she can't remember who, and one bad step had twisted her ankle so badly she felt it snap. He's apolosing as he, ever so gently, picks her up and carries her to the Batmobile, rogue forgotten. She grunts in pain and he is still until she nods shortly, allowing him to move again.

Father's Day was the worst day ever in elementary school, she'd always come home early with teary eyes and a ripped up attempt at a card in her backpack.

Bruce is taking everyone out to some high-end mall, and when Steph jokingly asks him for the most expensive dress she's ever seen, he nods without hesitation, and an hour later, she has a bag full of designer clothes, and Bruce is signing her up for a measuring appointment, so any future dresses can be tailored to her exact measurements. He doesn't even blink when Steph then asks if she can keep the clothes at the manor.

Steph hated being an only child, but if it meant never seeing her dad again, she'd take that loneliness over and over again.

"That's my sister," Damian says to his school friends, quietly enough that he definitely didn't mean for Steph to hear. "I'll see you on Monday." He adjusts his bookbag, and runs towards Steph and the borrowed car that probably belonged to Tim once upon a time, but she's commandeered it now. She high fives him and they stop to get boba tea before they go back to the manor.

Bruce has her shitty, cheap father's day card addressed to him displayed proudly on his desk. She blushes right up to her ears, but he just thanks her, so genuinely it makes her want to cry.

When she's caught by a rogue out of costume, and she begs to call her dad to explain that she might not be home, Mad Hatter somehow takes pity on her and allows it. She calls Bruce, and says, "dad, I need help."

"I'm on my way, kid."

[swordbisexual]

Emerald Grove

Rolan Week Day One

(or, the canon-adjacent alt timeline, because I can)

(cross-posted to AO3)

--

It is bad enough, Rolan thinks, that he is stuck in this miserable druids’ grove for the foreseeable future. The actual grove - green and lush and brimming with magic, which might be a fascinating source of study, if talk of the library beneath is to be believed - is apparently off-limits to outsiders, much less those of the Infernal persuasion. Instead, he is banished just like the rest, forced to make do with the cramped warrens and dirty caverns that the druids deem acceptable for visitors, refugees, peddlers, and prisoners alike. That he must suffer indignity and a sore back from sleeping on the ground should have been anguish enough for the sake of Lia’s misguidedly noble need for heroism.

But no. No. He must suffer even more, it seems, and be subject to seeing the woman who talked him into staying here.

Day in and day out, he can mark the ten o’clock hour; not by a bell, or clockwork, or even anything as primitively civilized as a sundial. He marks it instead by a flash of white hair and a swish of a freckled violet tail out of the corner of his eye as Shaxibis - tiefling, bard, and, apparently, adventuring sword-for-hire - picks her way through the carts and crates crammed into the Hollow’s lower levels as she brings an armful of provisions to Okta for the stew pot. One day it’s a bundle of carrots. Another day, it’s a brightly green-and-yellow striped carnival squash, handed over to the older woman with a wink and a grin and a “don’t you worry about it, and don’t you dare hand me any coppers for it, I’ll just take a bowl for lunch instead.”

Relentlessly cheerful, all of the time, so blithe as to possibly be utterly brainless. People like to accuse wizards of being all flash and no defense, but bards… well, they truly win the day when it comes to painting a loud target on themselves. That Shaxibis has not ended up with a back full of goblin bolts is entirely beyond Rolan’s understanding; she is entirely too loud and bright, clad in reds and golds that can be seen from a mile away, and with the snowy silver-white of her hair, she might as well be lighting up a beacon every time she moves.

Not that he’s keeping an eye out.

He also decidedly has not attuned his ear to always catch the oddly musical sound of her voice. He would blame that on her profession, too, but there are other bards about. Alfira, for one, has a perfectly ordinary speaking voice, only ever distinguishing herself when she plays or sings. Shaxibis, though, sounds like the chime of a bell, whether speaking or singing, and whenever she laughs in utterly incongruous delight at whatever somber thing she’s just heard from Ikaron, Rolan has to cross his arms a little tighter and hold himself still from turning towards the sound.

Zurgan. If she won’t save this damned grove soon, he might have to go do the job himself just so they might finally part ways for good.

Cal and Lia are endlessly charmed by her, of course. It’s the only reason he suffers her company whenever she comes traipsing over with a bowl of stew in her hands. Cal has already told him to try and stay civil for Lia’s sake; Lia herself has been more forthright in what she thinks of Rolan’s attempts at civil conversation.

“You’re an ass,” his sister says to him, not for the first time or even the tenth, before Shaxibis has joined them for lunch today. “You could at least not be an ass.”

“I am not an ass,” Rolan says, though even to his own ear he thinks that his tone does veer a little close to stubborn and mulish.

“You said ‘pompous ass’ this morning,” Cal quips before blowing on the stew - full of potatoes this time, brought by one sparkling-bright too-cheerful bard nearly two hours prior - and lifting a spoonful. “Can’t forget the ‘pompous’ part.”

Rolan clutches his own spoon as he rounds on Lia. “I am not—”

“You are.”

They might descend into an endless round of squabbling were it not for Cal slapping a palm on the stone that they stand around as a makeshift table, accompanying the dull thump with a loud cough. Before Rolan can ask if he’s eaten too fast - again - he hears that clear, ringing, bell-like voice. “What’s Rolan done this time?”

He feels the tips of his ears burning hot, though he cannot fathom why. He has no reason to be embarrassed; it’s his sister who’s stooped to pointlessly puerile provocation, not him, and what’s more, it’s none of Shaxibis’ business. Looking back over his shoulder, only half out of the side of his eye lest he blind himself on the vision of scarlet and storms and snow that Shaxibis’ clothes and skin and hair always conjure up, he at least manages not to curl his upper lip too terribly. “I’ve done nothing whatsoever.”

She chuckles, and the heat in his ears creeps out over his cheeks. “And you do it so well.”

Cal, ever the peacekeeper, raises his bowl. “What’re you bringing tomorrow?”

At that, Shaxibis lets out a curiously deep breath, so much like a sigh - and so unlike any other sound she’s yet to make - that Rolan has to turn to face her in full. She’s still smiling, but there is a strained edge to it, and her eyes (gold, too, just as bright as the baubles in her hair) take on a flinty edge. “With any luck, it’ll be whatever we can carry from the goblin camp.”

Her tone is light, but her words bring a hush down over their small circle anyway. There had been talk that Shaxibis and her ragtag bunch had scouted out the same temple where the First Druid disappeared more than a tenday ago, but Rolan chalked it all up to baseless conjecture. Wild rumors drummed up by a group of children who’d come to view Shaxibis as some sort of folk hero. But to hear it from her own lips…

Rolan stares into his bowl and tries not to think overmuch about Shaxibis’ lips. “Take care,” he says, the words quiet and halting, as if he cannot himself believe that he’s said them.

Slowly, Shaxibis rests her half-empty bowl on the stone. “What?”

He furrows his brow and frowns before he looks up to her again. “I said, you’re no use to the rest of us dead.”

Her lips quirk at that, and then she smiles, wide enough that twin dimples deepen in her cheeks, and he feels his stomach lurch, just a little. “Don’t I know it.”

[the-froschamethyst4]

Hi! Can I request a fic of Barrage taking care of his baby who got sick? Ty ♡

❥ I gotcha boo

꧁Ꙭ꧂

Sickly Sweet

𖤐Pairing: Husband! Barrage x Wife! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: fluff, wholesome, language, married couple, children, a sick wife, acts of service, use of Cal/Calvin,

𖤐Summary: Barrage comes home from work only to know that his wife had called in because she was “a bit” sick

————

————

3:30PM

Barrage was coming home from a hard day at work. His hand was on his face covering his eyes as he sat at the red light, he groans when it finally turns green.

He pulls up into the driveway of his home, opening the front door and kicking his boots off at the front.

“Baby! I’m home! You would not believe the day I had,” he says, taking his jacket off and hanging it up, he comes around the corner and doesn’t see Y/n in her usual spot after she gets home from work.

Maybe she’s working late? But Y/n hardly ever works late.

He walks upstairs and opens the crack bedroom door, in the bed he sees his wife all snuggled up under the blankets.

“Baby?” He questions, looking at her and quickly moving to her to see what is the matter. He placed the back of his hand on her forehead. “Baby, you’re burning up.”

“I don’t feel good,” she mumbles under the covers.

“I can tell.” He says, he goes into the bathroom and starts pulling out medications for Y/n to take.

“I-I’ve already tried those,” she tells him.

“Did they do anything?”

“Maybe s-stop my cough for a little bit,” she says, sitting up only for Calvin to come by and grab her shoulders to rest her down.

“No, baby, stay down, you need to sleep-“

“The kids also n-need to be p-picked up from s-school.” She reminds him.

“Dammit, I don’t wanna leave you-“

“I’ve been stuck home all day for 7 hours, I’ll be okay, go get them, and I’ll take a few more medicine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, now go on,” she says, patting his buff arm.

Barrage was always a worry wort when it came to his wife’s health, I mean the man took an oath to her when they got married he’ll be there for her through sickness and health.

He got his boots back on along with his coat and rushed out of the house.

Y/n grabs a blanket and wraps herself up in the warmth, she goes to the bathroom where she saw all the medications spread out on the sinks counter. She slightly chuckles and takes a Tylenol and a grave a handful of cough drops and heads back to bed to continue her resting.

———————

Calvin sat in that car rider line for what felt like 30 minutes, (it’s was 10 minutes) he sees his kids Reed his son and Addie his daughter standing outside Reed looking for a familiar car while holding his little sisters hand.

Once the line moved Barrage rolls the window down and Reed walks to his dad’s truck opening the back door for Addie to get in and he gets into the passenger side.

“Come on, come on, buckle up,” Calvin says.

“Why are we in a rush?” Reed asked.

“Your mom is sick and I want to get home, asap.”

“What does asap mean?” Addie asked from the back.

“As soon as possible,” Calvin says, bluntly as he pulls out of the parking lot. The man was panicking like if he didn’t get home in time something bad was going to be happen, and nothing was, the man is dramatic.

When Barrage started driving he might have started breaking some traffic laws, speeding, tailgating, slightly running a red light, which Addie called him out on for not waiting.

“So, daddy, if I have to be somewhere does that mean asap?”

“Yes, baby.”

“So we have to get home because mama is sick.”

“Yep, I just want us to get there, so I can take care of her and help her.”

“Can I help her?” Addie asked.

“I don’t know baby, I don’t want you getting sick as well.”

“I won’t get sick, I promise.”

“Baby, that’s not up to you, it’s up to your body and how mama’s germs might hurt you.”

“What about you then?”

“I’ll be okay. I’m tough.”

“I am too.”

Y/n had her eyes closed and she heard the front door slam shut, she opened her eyes and heard Addie’s voice from downstairs asking for a snack.

Barrage ended up giving Addie some grapes and Reed had gone upstairs to start on his homework.

Barrage goes upstairs and pushes the door at the end of the hallway seeing Y/n in the same place he left her.

“Did you take any of the medicine?”

“I-I took a Tylenol and a few cough drops,” she says. Barrage sat on the edge of the bed caressed her hair, she looked so at peace with Barrage comforting her.

"The kids are home, and they're safe, but how are you feeling?"

"Still worse," she says.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me you were sick this morning?" Calvin asked.

"I don't know, maybe I could go to work and suck it up, but I got up and got ready but the moment I was ready to leave. I started to feel sick and my stomach was hurting and I just called in, I didn't tell you cause I wanted you to keep working."

"And the kids?"

"I told them to take the bus and either me or you would pick them up."

Barrage looks down at her and takes a deep breath. "If you feel sick baby, I wouldn't mind coming home early just to take care of you...do you want some tea?"

"Do we have any?"

"I think we have peppermint, chamomile, ginger and elderberry."

"I'll take chamomile."

"The way you like it?" She just nods at his question, he kissed her forehead and walks out of the bedroom and into the hallway, where he sees Addie heading to her room, but she stops and sees her dad walking towards her, his hand goes to the top of her head and pats her black hair as he continues past her to the kitchen.

Addie looks at the bedroom at the end of the hallway and goes towards it, she sees Y/n laying on the bed, snuggled under the blankets and she opens her eyes seeing Addie coming towards the bed.

"Mama?" Y/n placed her arm out to keep the distance between her and Addie.

"Stay there baby," Y/n says, giving her a soft smile. "I don't want you getting sick too."

"But I want to see you mama."

"I'm right here."

"How'd you get sick?" Addie asked.

"I'm not sure baby, just woke up not feeling great."

"Are you feeling better?"

"Not really, daddy went to go make me some tea, so I can feel somewhat better," she smiles at her daughter.

"Reed said you have a cold."

"I do."

"Addie," Calvin came into the bedroom, placing the mug on Y/n's nightstand and picking Addie up.

"I wanna stay with mama."

"She needs rest, come on, let's go play," Barrage says, carrying his daughter back into her bedroom and placed her down on her rug.

"What did I say?" He reminds her.

"To keep my distance."

"Yes, baby, come on now, how about we play or do you have homework that needs to be done?" He asked. She looks down at her feet.

"Homework." She says.

"Then let's get it done," he says as she opens her backpack and pulls out her pink folder covered in stickers and some pencil designs.

-------------

8:00PM

Y/n just felt worse, Barrage sat on the edge of the bed holding Y/n's hand as she was heavy breathing as if she had just ran a marathon, her nose was also stuffed up, so she could hardly breath along with a few small whistles coming from her nose that drove her insane, and every time she sniffled trying to clear it, just felt worse.

Barrage had placed a cold rag on her forehead as she laid on her back, his hand moves from holding her hand to moving under her shirt not trying to do anything but just felt to rest there.

"Cal?"

"It's okay, do you wanna take a bath and try to lower your temp?"

"I-I can t-try," she tries to get up, Barrage took the rag off her forehead and he didn't let her touch her ground, he picks her up and takes her to the bathroom, he kicks the door shut but made sure it was cracked.

He sets her on the counter and turns to turn on the bath, he made sure the water was lukewarm, he turns to help her remove her clothes, her sweatpants, her fluffy socks that were so thick to keep her feet warm, then her hoodie (Barrage's hoodie). He picks her back up and gently placed her in the bath.

"I'm gonna go check on the kids, let me know when you're hungry and I'll make you some soup."

"Okay," her face was red and flushed.

He walks out, cracking the bathroom door and heading out, down the hall he opens Reed's door seeing him play his video games and Addie was in there with him giving him a "make over" with her fake makeup products she had got from Y/n.

Addie was fascinated with Y/n's make up, so she bought her daughter some play make up kits. Reed was use to Addie getting in his way while playing his video game(s). He didn't game mad nor did he throw a fit that Addie was blocking him, he just accepted it.

Calvin smiles and walks fully into the bedroom.

"What are you two doing?"

"I'm playing Fortnite."

"I'm giving, bubby a make over, does he look pretty?" She asked showing off Reed's bare face but she pretended that there were markings on his face.

"Very," he chuckles. He rubs Reed's black hair and kissed the top of Addie's head. "I'll come back and check up on you two." Barrage says, walking back to the bedroom.

Y/n had stood up and grabbed the towel hanging up and Barrage came in and before Y/n got out of the tub before her foot hit the bathmat, Barrage picked her up setting her back on the counter.

"You hungry?" She nods and gives a yawn. "butternut squash, chicken noodle or vegetable soup?"

"Vegetable," she says.

Calvin then grabs some sweatpants, another pair of thick socks, and another one of Calvin's hoodies. She walks to the bed, and Barrage walks back to the kitchen.

"Are you making dinner?" Addie asked coming into the kitchen.

"I am, do you want vegetable soup?"

"Vegetables? No," she made a disgusted face. Barrage chuckles.

"I know, you want chicken noodle?" She just nods and he doesn't need to ask Reed knowing he'll probably want chicken noodle.

-------------

8:15PM

Barrage placed both bowls on the table giving his kids grilled cheeses as well, he takes a bowl upstairs and opens the bedroom door seeing the TV was on but at low volume, Y/n asleep facing away from the TV and she was fully on his side of the bed and not hers.

"Baby? Babe," he says, placing the bowl on the nightstand and gently shaking her awake.

"Hm?" She hums.

"Dinner's here," he says. She rubs her eyes and turns over.

"Thank you," she says, smiling and taking the warm bowl into her hands.

"Be careful the bowl is hot," she always careful.

Barrage wanted to make sure his family ate before he did, his kids ate first and then his sick wife, Barrage kissed her temple told her he'd be back and then goes back downstairs to get his bowl, and sit with the kids.

"Is mama feeling better?" Addie asked.

"I don't know baby, she might be," he says.

"Will mama still take me to baseball practice tomorrow?" Reed asked.

"Not sure, bud, if not, I'll take ya'."

-------------

11:00PM

Y/n was on her back looking up at the ceiling, Barrage laying next to her, his arm under her head as his other was just holding her tightly. Barrage didn't care if he got sick as long as his wife felt better that's all he cared about.

She looks over at him and caressed his black hair.

"I wish you didn't cuddle me right now."

"Hmm~ I'm just making sure you're comfortable."

"But you'll probably get sick too."

"Don't care."

"I do."

"I don't...now, go to bed," he says, cupping her face and kissing her cheek.

-----------------

Next Morning (Saturday, 8:00PM)

Y/n had woke up first, she was feeling good, her stomach still felt bad, but she got up and heads to the bathroom to take a Dayquil, she goes downstairs and starts fixing breakfast for everyone.

Addie came downstairs and the same with Reed, both kids yawned, Addie hugging Y/n's legs and Reed turned the TV on to play a random kid TV show.

Barrage woke up feeling the WORST. He rubs his temple he has a headache, his stomach hurts, his throat felt dry, and his nose was stuffed up.

"Oh fuck," he says, knowing exactly how he got sick.

"Morning, Cal."

"Morning," he sounded sick.

"Oh you sound sick, and stuffed up."

"I am," he sneezes and used the back of his hand to rub his nose. "Fuck," he curses.

"Do you want soup?" She teases, now the roles have reversed. Now, she has to take care of her now sick husband.

[1toreyouapart]

Right Through Me

***FANFICTION THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE THAT. 18+ MDNI***

Rae arrives on her former best friend’s doorstep, asking only for a place to stay while she gets back on her feet after moving across the country to escape her ex. Nick gladly opens his door to her, quickly pulling her into the fold with his friends and band mates.

Noah is just trying to survive. He wants to make it. Needs it. He has no time for anything other than the band. He’s got a point to prove. Nick’s friend challenges that and upends his entire world. She drives him crazy with her laid back, carefree ways.

Everyone can see the collision coming from a mile away, and nobody can stop it. Much less the two of them. Who will make it out in the end?

CW/TW: domestic violence, miscarriage, alcohol use, swearing, smoking, tobacco/vape use, smut, more to come as story is written.

Coffee

Bright light woke her. Blinding her. With a frustrated groan she covered her eyes with her arm. She shouldn’t have come to stay on Folio’s couch. Too much sunlight. There has to be a way to block the sunlight. Had to be.

The scent of coffee wafted towards her. Grateful she sat up, rubbing her eyes. At least Folio was awake and getting everything set.

“Nick?” She questioned, sitting up.

This was a foreign living room. Everything was weird. Had she just not noticed the layout when laying on Folio’s couch the day before? Unlikely for her. She was used to mapping everywhere out.

“Fresh coffee. I don’t know how you like it, but I have 100 ways of fixing your coffee right here.”

“Thank you. Black is fine.” She muttered, swinging her legs over the edge of the couch. Why the fuck was she here?

“Offered you my bed and I would take the couch and you tried to punch me for it.” Noah laughed, the sound of liquid filling a cup distracting her momentarily.

“I’m sorry? I don’t remember that.” Rae groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

“It was cute. You got upset because I took your keys. That idiot over there,” he gestured towards Folio passed out in the recliner. “Was already passed out. You kept saying you wanted to go home. You could barely stand. Offered my bed for you to sleep in. You wouldn’t have it. Told me I was controlling you. Then curled up on the couch and fell asleep.”

Noah placed the cup in front of her, sitting beside her. He sat in silence while she stared at the cup of coffee in front of her. Had she really drank that much?

“Anyway. I put that pillow there under your head and covered you with a blanket.”

Noah seemed nervous as he spoke. Fidgeting with his own mug. Rae picked up the cup he had set on the coffee table, taking a long sip of it. She had no recollection of any of it. The last thing she remembered was dancing on Noah before Nick had pulled her away and told her to keep it in her pants.

“I’m sorry if I was…” she paused, contemplating her words. “Too forward? I suppose.”

“No. That’s fine. Nick said you’ve been through a lot. Like, an insane amount of shit. Uh…” he trailed off, rubbing his hand over his face. “You have a great voice and I would love to get you in the studio with me soon.”

Rae sipped her coffee, eying her still sleeping best friend. Nothing bad could happen if he was at least in the room. Though everything in her screamed at her that Noah was a safe person, she found herself physically moving away from him.

“Look.” His eyes were still transfixed on the mug of coffee in front of him. “I don’t know why you’re here. Though I can guess based on the little bit Folio has told us. And you’re in a sling. I’m not stupid. Just don’t disappear on him again, okay? Don’t go back to that asshole and leave Folio broken because his sister is gone. Again.”

Rae clenched her mug tightly in her fist. She knew he meant well. But was right now really an appropriate time for it? Frustrated she took a sip of her coffee, letting the warmth of the bitter liquid sit in her mouth a moment before swallowing. Exactly how much had Folio told him?

“Listen. I’m sure you mean well, but I don’t need some guy telling me how to live my life. I drove clear across the country to get away from the last person who thought they could do that.”

She searched her pockets, digging out her vape. Maybe she was being harsh. But, goddamn it, the last thing she needed was any kind of a lecture from some guy who apparently thought he knew what was best for her.

“Not what I’m trying to do, Rae.” He sighed, standing up. “Come on. Let’s go out back.”

She hesitated, watching him walk away. He didn’t bother to look back at her, assuming she would follow. And as much as she didn’t want to, the need for nicotine outweighed everything. Slowly, and with a cautious glance back at the very much still asleep Folio, she followed him out to the backyard.

Outside she found him kicked back in a chair, phone in hand, typing away. He nodded to the chair next to him, indicating for her to sit. Rather than obey him she stood there, taking a puff of her vape. She took the moment to study him. The way his brow furrowed ever so slightly as he typed. The messy bun he had thrown his hair up in. Honestly, it looked more put together than any of her own messy buns. That irked her. How was it fair his looked better?

“Anyway,” he continued, placing his phone on the table in front of him. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I care about the guy, ya know?”

Rae smirked, finally dropping down into the chair next to him. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. She took another puff off of her vape, making sure to blow it out away from him. A sip of coffee. She could feel his eyes on her, feel the judgement radiating off of him.

“Like I said, Noah. I drove nearly 3,000 miles to get away from him. Which is a pain the ass when you’re down to one working arm.” She laughed, though it was hollow. “Not keen on doing that again any time soon.”

“So you’ll be around a while then?” He sounded almost hopeful.

“Yep. That’s the plan.”

“So then you’ll need a job.”

“Hold up. I am not a fucking charity case. I don’t need your help. Whatever it is you’re thinking in that pretty little head of yours? Stop it.”

“So you think I’m pretty?” Noah laughed, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

Rae watched as he pulled one out, put it between his lips, and lit it. She was slightly shocked. Not once last night had he gone out to smoke. At least not that she had noticed. She had never even smelled it on him.

“That’s the thing you focus on?” Rae shook her head, reaching for her coffee.

“I mean, a compliment is a compliment.” He shrugged. “But, no. You’re not a charity case. I was just thinking, we’re headed on a small tour soon. Just a month long. Could use someone to sling merch.”

Rae arched a brow, turning to face him. She had just told him she didn’t want his charity, yet he ignored it and offered her his charity anyway. He was bold, she would give him that.

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll take it.” He smirked at her before turning back to his phone. Jesus he was on that thing a lot.

Tag: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 19

Former(ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Jay Halstead x Reader

You and Jay fall into a routine of being together. You celebrate the fourth of July with your extended family and then the reminder that the ticking clock is about to stop comes rolling in.

“Are you and Jay bringing her to the fourth of July community cookout fifty one is hosting?” Stella asked, turning her head to look at you. It was a rarity that both of you had a day off that synced up so you were enjoying it, pushing Addy through the mall in her stroller as you went from store to store. “Of course, I know you and Kelly wouldn’t want to miss the chance to show her off” you teased with a grin.

Addy was coming up on five months old, starting to sleep longer through the night and growing more daily it seemed at times. Your tiny little newborn was transforming into a baby instead. She grinned “Of course. Is the rest of the unit coming?” you nodded “As far as I know, Will and Nat are gonna try to make it too. Show of support and all that for the community, I may have to leave before the fireworks though. I don’t know how she may react to those, even if I get her the headphones”

She nodded “Yeah, I don’t want her freaking out. How’s things between you and Jay?” you took a deep breath, a smile slipping onto your face “It’s good?” she raised an eyebrow “Was that a question mark at the end of that?”

You laughed lightly “I don’t know Stel. I love him, I really do. I mean we have a beautiful little girl together and he is an absolutely amazing man but there’s times he pulls away from me and I’m not used to that..before we were whatever we are now he talked to me..I don’t know if it’s past demons popping up or future worries but I want to know what's going on inside his head so damn bad” She smiled softly “He just worries more about you now. He constantly has to consider Addy into the equation, same as you. I’m sure that’s an adjustment”

“Yeah, I guess” you agreed and she let a grin slip onto her face “C’mon lets get some lunch and we can go back to your place and let Addy take a nap” you nodded “I promised Will we’d drop by Med today too so he could see her. His schedule has been so insane it’s been like two weeks since he’s had a chance” she laughed “Oh that poor man. Two weeks without Adeline? Tsk tsk little sister, that’s just mean”

___________

You sat down next to Stella on your couch and cut your eyes at your tv to see what movie she’d picked. “Oh yay, I love this one” she laughed “I know, that’s why I picked it” you drew your legs up under you and focused your attention on the screen. You enjoyed days like this. It felt normal, your life didn’t feel anywhere as insane as it actually was just spending the day with your sister and daughter.

Stella scooted closer to you, laying her head over on your shoulder. You put your arm around her and leaned further back into the couch to get comfortable yourself. You hadn’t even felt yourself dozing off but the end credits of the movie was rolling when Jay gently shook your arm “Baby?”

You slowly opened your eyes and smiled when you saw him “Hey, when did you get back?” he laughed lightly, cutting his eyes at Stella who was still asleep on you “About ten minutes ago, I guess Addy wasn’t the only one that needed a nap?”

You rolled your eyes but laughed regardless “Hey, we had a full day and even took her to see her uncle Will at work. He got to show her off to everyone” he grinned “I know. He sent me half a dozen pictures while I was helping Kim and Adam move” 

He leaned closer to press a gentle kiss to your lips then nodded towards Stella “Kelly called me looking for her. We may wanna wake her up even if I sent him the picture of you two sleeping” your eyes widened “You did not!” he pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked the screen a couple times before turning it around to indeed show you a photo of you and Stella curled up together “Oh I did. You two looked so sweet to be so damn mean when you’re awake”

You shook your head “Easy there Halstead, I am the mother of your child so she will have my attitude” he laughed “God help us all” 

_________

You laughed then gently shook Stella “Stel, wake up” she slowly stirred then looked from you to Jay who was squatting next to the couch “Woah, when did he get back?” you laughed “Apparently we fell asleep so Kelly enlisted his help in finding you”

She glanced at the clock and her eyes got wide. “Damn, we napped Addy’s entire nap time” you nodded “Well at least we’re well rested?” she laughed “True, I gotta get going baby girl. I’ll see you and my niece later. Jay, I guess I like you”

Jay shook his head “Love ya too Stel” she winked at you then stood up, gathering her keys, phone and jacket before heading out the door. You looked up at Jay and smiled “Addy should be waking up any time” “Then I have perfect timing” he teased before kissing your temple then stood to head into her room. 

You stretched as you stood off the couch then followed him, hearing Addy already babbling at him profusely after she heard his voice.

“Detective Kidd” you groaned inwardly, hearing the assistant district attorney's voice. You and Kevin had to testify today and it was not something you wanted to do. You hated dealing with lawyers. “Yes sir?” you asked with a forced smile.

“Can you run us through the series of events that took place the day you and Detective Atwater arrested the defendant” you took a deep breath, focusing on Kevin who was sitting across from the witness stand “My partner and I arrived to the Foster residence around Ten a.m. the morning of June thirtieth, responding to a complaint from a neighbor about what sounded like a domestic disturbance. Inside we found Mr Franklin Foster beating his wife Anita Foster. My partner and I  attempted to used the least amount of force possible to subdue Mr Foster but he was irate and violent. He punched me in the sternum and nearly broke my partners nose, after which we were forced to defend ourselves”

He nodded “Is it true Mr Foster received a fractured jaw and a shattered nose?” you nodded “Yes sir” he flipped through the file “And what injuries did you and your partner receive?” you took a deep breath “I had severe bruising on my chest and side, my partner had a swollen nose and two black eyes as a result of his attack” 

___________

When you and Kevin finally made it back to the district you walked in next to him, both of you heading for the stairs that led up to intelligence. You stopped at the palm scanner and he grabbed the door once it popped to hold it open for you. “I want out of this damn pantsuit” you groaned and he laughed “Don’t you got a change of clothes in your locker?” you nodded “Jeans and a shirt which I will never have been happier to see”

He shook his head “Go get changed, I’ll use the locker room after you” when the two of you made it to the top of the stair everyone was working at their desks but their heads turned up when they heard you. Hailey raised an eyebrow, a whistle falling from her lips “Damn Y/N..that pantsuit looks good”

You shot her a wink and did a little spin “Ya think? I didn’t think it was really flattering” she grinned “I think it hugs ya just right” Jay’s jaw practically hit his desk “I told you it looked good when we dropped Addy off at daycare this morning!”

You shrugged “I take her word on it more than yours, sorry. You may be Addy’s dad but she’s the wife” and Hailey blew you a kiss “Tell him” Jay shook his head “Unbelievable” 

Voight popped his head out of his office “Kidd, Atwater get changed. We just got a call. Roll out in five” you looked at Kevin and shrugged “The locker room is big enough we can both get changed”  his eyes flickered towards Jay slightly then he nodded.

____________

You and Kevin were interviewing witnesses to the bank robbery while Jay and Hailey went to Med to interview the injured. Looked like a four man crew. They came in early, hit it hard and didn’t mind getting violent.

“This is gonna be one of those cases,isn’t it?” you mumbled and he looked your way “Yup”

___________

You were going through surveillance footage down in the tech room, trying to find an angle that could possibly give you something that could help with an id. “Come on, turn and let me see that damn tattoo on your hand” you grumbled at the screen as if it could hear you. You cursed when the man on the screen simply would not turn to give you a clear shot at the tattoo. 

“Anything?” Jay asked, walking into the room behind you. You shook your head “Just four men between five ten and six feet. Average build” he walked over behind you, one hand resting on your shoulder “We’ll figure something out” you looked up at him “Before they hit another bank and someone else gets hurt?” he smiled slightly “Just keep looking, maybe you’ll find something” you nodded “I’ll keep at it” he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and you knew the shock was plain on your face. He didn’t kiss you at work. 

“What was that about?” you asked and he shrugged “Just wanted to check on you” “Well damn, you are still capable of surprising me” you teased and he rolled his eyes before kissing you again “Get back to work and I’m gonna do the same, wifey” you smirked at him “Don’t be jealous that I love Hailey too” he shook his head “Too many people love you” before walking out of the room.

You were half asleep when you heard Jay’s phone vibrating on the table next to your bed. He groaned, nuzzling into your neck “Do I have to answer that damn thing?” you laughed lightly “Could be somebody with a break in the case” he huffed “You always make too much sense” and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck before reaching over you to grab his phone.

He squinted as he looked at the screen, then he cut his eyes at you before pulling the phone to his ear “Hello?” After a second you heard Mouse’s voice and felt your heart skip. You weren’t ashamed of loving Jay or being in bed with him but there was something about laying there, wearing Jay’s black henley and a pair of your panties with his arm around you while Mouse was on the phone that made you want to cover yourself more. As if Mouse could see your position through the phone.

Jay squeezed your hip gently then pulled his arm from around you and climbed out of bed, disappearing into the living room. Leaving you to just watch his broad back walk out of the bedroom door.

____________

You laid there, unsure if you should go out after Jay or attempt sleep even if you knew it was a futile effort. After about twenty minutes however Jay walked back into the room and slipped into bed behind you, curling around your body. “What was that about?” you asked and he shrugged “He just wanted to see if Voight still had his stuff in storage. He’s been looking at places in Georgia, D.C. and Chicago because it all depends where he’s sent after Glynco”

You nodded slowly, not wanting to think too hard about Mouse being stateside and living all the way in Georgia or D.C. 

“August is coming fast” you whispered, having just talked to Mouse a few days before. Jay knew you had. You didn’t hide it. He nodded “I’m still here baby and will still be here” you turned to face him and he smiled at you “I love you” “I love you Jay” you replied snuggling up to his chest. You just wanted to be as close to him as possible at that moment. The reality of what was to come was sitting in.

How the hell had you managed to be inside of a bank with a gun pointed at your head, trying to talk down the leader of this crew with Hailey at one side and Kim at the other? Oh yeah they liked female hostages so an even trade had gotten offered to get civilians out.

“You’ve got two choices. Lay down your gun and walk out of here in cuffs or not walk out of here at all” Hailey told him and you held her eyes. You still had your com in so you knew Jay was on the roof adjacent to the bank, he just needed Hailey to maneuver this asshole into position.

“And if I decide to pull the trigger on Detective” he paused to read the badge on your vest “Detective Kidd here?”  Kim shook her head “Then you walk out of here in pieces”

Hailey caught your eyes and she tapped two fingers onto her right thigh. You needed to get him two steps to the right. He was the ringleader. If he went down the other remaining two would surrender. You moved your foot to the right as if you lost your footing, forcing him to move with you “Last chance” Hailey offered and you heard Jay’s voice “I got the shot” right before a shot whistled right past your head,blood splattering the side of your face and the gun falling away from your head right along with the perp who crumbled like a puppet with the strings shot.

You tapped your com “Helluva shot Jay” as you wiped at the blood and heard SWAT breach.

____________

“Are you sure your ear is ok?” Jay asked across the bullpen and you replied “Huh? What ya say?” which made everyone crack up laughing before you grinned at him “I’m fine Jay. Doc said no damage was done. The forty five he had however may have damaged me”  he nodded “Ok, Just wanted to make sure”

The case was closed so all of you were finishing up paperwork to head out. You needed to scrub your body. This case had ran long enough Kelly had to leave the station house to pick up Addy from daycare but considering you hadn’t been able to do much but get Kim and Hailey’s help sponging off blood in the locker room you could only imagine what you’d look like to the people at the daycare regardless of them knowing what your job was.

“Don’t tease the man lil mama. He was stressing that shot” Kevin laughed and you grinned “Would you want to accidentally shoot your daughter’s mother Kev?”  He shook his head “Can’t say I would” 

You had just finished getting Addy dressed when Jay got to your place. He’d called when he was on the way so you reminded him he had a key. “Hey baby” he called out so you picked Addy up and walked into the living room. He turned towards the two of you when he heard her bedroom door open and a smile slipped onto his face “There’s my girls”

Addy was wearing a onesie that read “Little Firecracker” that Trudy had bought her because she said it reminded her of you along with the matching shorts. After some back and forth you’d decided on a pair of cutoff jeans and a navy blue v-cut tee with sneakers. It was simple but comfortable and from the way Jay was looking he didn’t mind the outfit choice one bit.

He walked across the room, pulling her into his arms and placing a kiss onto your lips “You both are absolutely beautiful” you shook your head “You always say that Jay” “Doesn’t mean it isn’t true” he teased with a laugh. He was wearing jeans,a white shirt with his pedant in place and looked delightfully sinful. Yeah, any single women were gonna be flirting with him even if he had Addy.

“What’s wrong?” he asked and you shook your head “No woman better flirt with you while you’re holding our baby or I’m throwing a punch” he grinned “Miss Kidd, that sounds like you like me a little bit” you pulled him down into a kiss “Just a little, don’t let it get to your head”

____________

You laughed watching Will and Stella “argue” over Addy. It was adorable really. Will’s argument was that Stella got her for overnights and he hardly got to see her while Stella’s argument was simply she only gave up Addy to you and Jay because she had to.

Kevin stepped between them and plucked Addy from your arms “How about this? I got her mom’s back in the field so uncle Kev gets her for a little while” Will and Stella glared at each other for a moment before shrugging “Fair enough” “Fair enough”

You loved seeing just how much Addy’s family loved her. Yours and Stella’s family had pretty much clocked out when you two hit about preteen/teen years. It was just the two of you for way too long. Seeing Addy with an entire squad of people who claimed her and loved her? You couldn’t ask for more.

Jay’s arms slipped around your waist and he whispered in your ear “What are you smiling so big about?” you nodded towards where Trudy and Mouch were talking to Addy “Look at her. She has so many people who love her. If something did happen to us she’d never be alone Jay” he pressed a kiss to your pulse point “I know baby. We built her a strong family” 

Without warning you were snatched out of Jay’s arms into Hailey’s. Her and Kim laughed at the put out look on his face. “We’re kidnapping her. You hog her all the time. She’s ours for the next hour” you grinned at Jay as they drug you away “I’ll see you in an hour”

____________

Jay was holding Addy, talking to Kelly and Cruz when you walked back up with Hailey’s arm around your waist and you both had your faces painted, her with stars and yours with a moon. He raised an eyebrow when he saw you now had a bracelet on your right wrist that matched the one on Hailey’s. “What is that?”

She grinned “Oh I marked her Halstead. They had a booth for permanent bracelets so I bought her one” his head whipped around towards you and you shrugged “What? It’s so pretty and we match!” he shook his head and looked back at Kelly for help but the other man just shook his head “Sorry but you’re on your own”

Hailey kissed your cheek and winked at him before walking off. You took Addy from his arms and just when he was certain his jaw was going to hit the dirt you started laughing “Kim got one too, along with Stella” “That was mean” Cruz laughed around the beer he’d just took a drink of.

You grinned up at him “It was too easy Jay” he shook his head “You’re horrible, you know that” you laughed and leaned up to whisper in his ear “And yet you love me” he nodded “Yes I do”

Addy was fast asleep in her crib so you walked into the bedroom behind Jay. He was already down to just jeans and it’d been a feat indeed to keep your hands off of him.

He cut his eyes at you when you began to strip out of your clothes. You slipped your shirt off and put it into the hamper then pushed your shorts off your hips. You saw his tongue flick out to wet his bottom lip when you reached for the clasp of your bra “What’s wrong Jay? Still mad about that prank with Hails?”

You dropped your bra into the hamper then reached to slip your panties off your legs. He rolled his bottom lip between his teeth once you were completely bared to him. “No baby, I’m not”

You grinned “In that case, you wanna take a shower with me?” That was all it took for him to be across the room, picking you up into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he crashed his lips against yours in a hungry kiss before walking towards the bathroom.

August 13th. How ironic that Mouse would get home the exact day Addy turned six months old? You stared at the email from him. I already told Jay but wanted to tell you. I’ll be back in Chicago August 13th. I’ll have 1 week before I have to report to Glynco.  I’m not looking to intrude on anyone’s life. I know I made choices that hurt you sweetheart and I’ll forever regret them. Regardless of what’s happened Adeline is a perfect little baby and deserves nothing but the best. I look forward to meeting her and seeing you more time. Love Always, Greg

What did he mean by one more time? Had he already chosen somewhere besides Chicago? Had you driven him away from his home? Had he decided that he truly didn’t want to be in your life in no capacity any more?  You felt tears spring to your eyes and for once was grateful you were down in the tech room where Jay couldn’t see you cry over Mouse. One week. You had one week until you would know.

@desimarie12

Part 20

@allisonargent144

@nevaehstreater18

[zaynmirrors]

Warning: bad decisions, poorly written smut, alcohol, weed.

Chapter 4

The venue was a decent sized bar. Packed full of people. Y/n went straight to the bar getting a beer for the both of them. Upon returning to Eddie side she spoke, "I wasn't sure what kind you like" and offered the cold beer to him.

He was grateful she even thought about him. “This is perfect, thank you” she smiled and gave him a nod. She took his free hand and pulled him to the edge of the stage.

Her hand was warm in his, electrifying actually. Eddie studied their hands for a moment. He liked this. Maybe a little too much.

“I wanted to get close before they started playing” y/n spoke, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked to her face, she hadn’t been paying attention to him.

She let go of his hand. He already longed for the simple touch. “Pretty smart”, he nodded then took a sip of his beer. The cool liquid lining his throat, then hitting his stomach as he swallowed.

“Not my first rodeo” she chuckled, he smiled. Watching as she lifted her glass bottle to her lips. Noticing how they wrapped around the opening- ‘god stop’ he thought, ‘you’re being a creep’. He made a grimace at his inner dialogue.

He knew this crush was wrong, for many reasons. One, she had a kid. Two, she was his friend’s sister. Three, hell there didn’t need to be a third reason, those should’ve been good enough.

They stood and talked while watching as the band set up their equipment. Y/n had made another quick beer run before people started to fill in, in front of the stage.

He kept an eye on her, making sure she was alright. He watched her weave through the crowd forming. Giving a small smile he took the glass from her hand and offered a smile.

The mic screeched with feed back, as the lead singer moved it. Eddies attention turned to him. He wanted so badly to be like his idols one day. To be on stage and perform.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” His voice was gruff, and echoed through the venue. The crowd erupted in a chorus of responses. “Are we ready to rock tonight?”

Eddie picked out y/ns enthusiastic “hell yeah” out from the rest of the crowd and smiled. She was enjoying herself, at from what he could tell.

“Let’s get this fucking show on the road” the singer smiled. Eddie watched as the guitarist began playing. His fingers moving ever so slightly over the strings.

He looked down at y/n and took her in, noting the way she was glued on the whole scene. She seemed enthralled.

Eddie let loose, screaming lyrics at the top of his lungs, jumping to the beat. He’d almost forgotten he wasn’t by himself.

Y/n grabbed onto him, “this is my favorite song” she screamed over the music. Eddie looked down at her, she was bubbling with excitement. His heart melted. She had indeed needed this, he realized. She wasn’t a mom right now, she was just someone around his age having the time of her life.

He watched as she loudly quoted the lyrics word for word. She was belting them, they were coming from the bottom of her heart. She meant them.

The concert flew by, it was filled with beer, dancing and screaming of lyrics. The both of them would be hoarse the next day but they didn’t care.

Y/n was more than buzzed as she stumbled out to the parking lot. Eddie snorted at her, “careful”, he then proceeded to trip over air. “Shit”, he steadied himself.

She giggled, “you were saying?”

“Yeah, yeah”, he chuckled.

Y/n had decided best if they walked back to their motel, Eddie had agreed. Luckily the motel had only been five minutes away.

Eddie reached into his back pocket, pulling out a black cigarette case. Y/n eyed him, watching as he pulled out a hand rolled cigarette, put it to his lip and then lighting it. Then watched as he slipped the case back into his pocket with his free hand.

She watched as he inhaled, then brought it down to eat at his side. The smell wafted over her, it certainly wasn’t the kind of cigarette she had been expecting it to be.

He glanced at her, she watched realization wash over him, “shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask, I-“

She just laughed, she didn’t care. “Its fine”

“Are you sur-“ she nodded.

Without thinking he offered the joint to her, she took it. Expertly taking a hit, then exhaling out her nose. ‘That was hot’, he thought. He watched as she took another hit. This was almost as good as porn to him right now.

She handed the joint back to him. He finished it off and threw the butt down on the ground using his shoe to snuff it out.

They were both buzzing as they stumbled through the door to their room. Giggling y/n laid on the bed. “You’re beautiful you know that?” Eddie said without thinking.

She sat up on her elbows and looked at him, as if she’d never heard anyone say anything remotely similar before, “you really think so?”

“Oh my god, yeah” he nodded.

She looked him over, trying to decide if she believed him. “Thank you”, guess she did.

Y/n pushed herself off the bed, letting her feet carry her to the bathroom, and shut the door behind her. Eddie began to strip while she was in there, figuring it’d be the best use of his time.

Y/n stared at herself in the mirror. Her makeup had ran. What the hell did he find beautiful about that. She shook her head. Sure she knew she was somewhat attractive, or well used to be, before Jovie.

Now all she could see was the stretch marks, dark circles and the tiniest bit of baby pudge she’d never fully lost. ‘He’s just not thinking right’ she thought. ‘No way he actually means it’

Using the provided wash cloth she rinsed her face of the leftover makeup. The dark circles becoming more prominent. She worked hard to take care of her child. To make sure she had a good life. To make sure she never wanted.

She yawned, the booze and weed weighing on her. Making her limbs feel heavy. God she was exhausted. Quickly she changed into her pajamas and exited the bathroom.

Her eyes were greeted with eddies bare back. Toned and muscled. She watched his muscles moved as he slid a clean shirt over his head and pad to the side of the bed he had claimed for the night.

Now he was attractive, he was tall, muscled and sweet. He hadn’t talked about a girlfriend, so y/n had assumed he was single and how he was single; she couldn’t figure out.

‘That was perhaps a mystery for another day’, she’d thought as her eyelids became heavy as she stood. She got in the bed next to him, moving around until she was comfortable. “Goodnight” she murmured.

She wasn’t sure he’d even heard it until he mumbled back a “night y/n”. A sleepy smile made its way onto her face. It wasn’t too long after that she’d fell asleep.

Her breathing evened out, and Eddie closed his eyes. Eddie couldn’t sleep. Normally the amount of alcohol and weed in his system was enough to lull him to sleep but not tonight.

Y/n laid beside of him, mouth slightly agape as she slept. Shirt bunched up under her breasts and her shorts rode up as well. She was a sight to see. She was breath taking.

The more Eddie stared at her sleeping form the more he felt a stirring in his stomach. He knew it was wrong. Hell, perverted even.

He couldn’t help the fantasies. The images of her beneath him, on top of him. Imagining the way she tasted, or how she sounded. It was intoxicating.

He sat up, careful to not wake her. Dragged his feet over the edge of the bed and stood, making his way to the bathroom.

He turned the knob on the shower, watching as the water began to trickle down into the tub. Using his hand he felt the frigid stream, if this didn’t work, he only had one other option.

The water ran over him, cold and repelling. Leaning his head back, he drenched his hair. Eddies skin prickled at the frigid water and yet his cock pulsated. Ached. ‘Fuck it’ he thought

He wrapped a hand around his aching member. He groaned slightly at the feeling. With one motion of his hand, his eyes lulled shut. Enjoying the feeling.

He imagined it was y/n, her lips wrapped around him. Taking him deeply. Eddies mouth gaped open slightly. Soft moans falling over his lips as he stroked himself.

He prayed she was still asleep, unaware of his actions. Unaware of the noises he was making, just by thinking about her. The pace quickened as he began to chase his release. A whimper escapes him, he was close, so close.

“Fuck” he moans, his body shuddering in release. He continued to gently pump his member. Milking out every last drop. He had it bad for y/n. He knew that it was crazy. Knew she wouldn’t like him back. Knew he would eventually get over it but for now-for now he’d just pretend he had a chance.

Chapter 5

Taglist: @mewchiili

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

The fight is going well because I got the killing blow on both the high level enemies but their little minions have knocked two of my party members unconscious and one of them has failed two death saves and the other has failed one and I think this might actually be my character's worst nightmare.

[kakushino]

When there is no "man" in the household, it's always the most "masculine" person that has to do manual labour

[arolesbianism]

Doodle of my boy

[selamat-linting]

so like, since my dad was in jail for the majority of my little bro's life (2009-2014 and 2016-2024), my mom had to work so the childcare tasks is relegated to me and my sister. my brother actually took after me a lot, the moment he turned eleven he started talking back to me using my words, he's as stubborn and witty as i am and i kinda get why people want to have kids. there's a sense of pride to see someone taking up aspects of yourself. even when its used against you. but man, i was a bad brother and an even shittier mom to him. no amount of apologizing can undo the baggage he'll get from me for the rest of his life.