#not in my mental state though
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Ok so in relation to the previous post:
A customer (older butch lesbian(?)) flat-out told me (in a very kind, chill way) that I need to relax when I get off work and smoke some weed
I’m— [w h e E z e] god am I that tense-looking now? Djdjdjdjfjfjjdndjdndnd help
#drug mention#I like her but hdjdjdjd what the hell#nothing like getting a roundhouse kick to the gut in the middle of your shift#screaming#laughing#crying throwing up#I love her tbh she seems like the cool aunt type#laid back and down to earth lady#people always tell me I look like I should be in the military or something#and I get reactionary ‘yes sir’ responses from guys a lot of the time#damn maybe I should smoke some weed /j#no no no smoking killed my grandma and removed my uncle’s lung and gave my mom asthma (second hand)#nope#but weed gummies??? sure why the hell not#not in my mental state though#that’s a BAD idea#I’ll wait until I’m doing it just to try it; not for numbing purposes
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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr
#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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You know what, shout out to Blitz for continually choosing not to use drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism when he's feeling upset.
Yeah, he eventually drank a lot at Bee's party, but his actual go to was ice cream and trashy tv, same as in Ghostfuckers. And yes, he made some very ill advised financial decisions, buying a ton of things he couldn't technically afford related to what he loves (horses and Stolas) in a manic attempt to ease the pain. But with his family history of addiction, and even his own history of drug usage if we take what he said about his time in college as fact, then it'd be so, so easy for him to fall into that trap too. He doesn't though, and as someone who also has a family history of addiction, I'm very proud of him for it.
#helluva boss#blitzo#text post#meta#my post#I am dreading what state Stolas might be in right now though#because he does turn to alcohol to numb his pain and he's already been in a bad mental place for a while now#that's gonna be hard for me to watch tbh#helluva boss spoilers
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Eddie Brock + Kissing Death by MOTHICA
#kissing death is the album i want to clarify. no lyrics used from the actual song#lyrics from! exit plan + another high + doomed + curiosity killed the moth + red + mirage#this one is NOT as pretty as my venom-specific one. not my fault though.#everytime someone monologues about eddie brock's mental state they want to do it in the teeniest tiniest little boxes...#guys i can't take good quality screenshots like this... how will the people see my vision...#once again killing the game on venom webweaves though i gotta say. winning at intertextuality.#and kissing death is the eddie brock album of all time. in case you were wondering.#venomposting#venom#eddie brock#from the guy who brought you something that like three people in his life would care about. something even Less people will care about#i don't even like eddie brock that much i just think about him nonstop. got him in a jar in my head and i shake him around#violently. behavior that would have me hastily taking the bug in a jar away from one of my kiddos#do i get to use the ship tag if this is technically just about the one guy.#whatever everyone has to be nice to me forever don't say anything about it...#symbrock#veddie#venom comics
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Per my thoughts about pelican man Mr. Token the Third:
These spot the difference games are getting so difficult
#clearly my mental state is doing just fine thank you#sleep token iii#tell me I’m wrong though#this man has managed to remind me of far too many birds#worshitposting
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new rt everyone shes a freak whos pretty sure shes been been given the role of rogue trader as an act of divine intervention to eventually replace the godemperor and bring new glory to the imperium which she thinks is dull and stagnant. dont worry about why she keeps marazhai caged in her trophy room like he's bait its not important and completely irrelevant to the fact ive joke nicknamed her simon thresh. has anyone noticed a lot of slaaneshi demons during warp jumps lately
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#von valancius#if i ever mention about marazhai going insane on the voidship this is what i want you to think of#understimulated predator animal in a cage claws itself open#its worse with her but i do think he generally feels kinda insane anyway#yeah he's tricked into thinking she's tolerable and a fair alternative to the arena then hes taken to the voidship#yrliet [who was the fixation until now] tries to warn him about her before getting her head bashed in infront of him#spirit stone smashed into shards for ritual use body dragged off for vague poor medical knowledge dissection#he is now thinking the arena might not be so bad after all. except he's got no way to back out of this so hes screaming clawing at the wall#shes not giving him up willingly and the only person who could take him by force is calcazar whos not a great alternative tbh!#so he gets to go insane being bait for the chaos god he's already ocd fixated is stealing his soul [on top of normal drukhari fears]#and he's not able to maul anyone else while locked up so its just him dealing with this alone! yay#she doesnt give a shit about pasqal until he gets xenotech in him. then he goes to the trophy room too for study/more grafts#heinrix is most likely captive in the trophy room too with his death faked so he cant snitch#idira Almost got in trouble too for the implant she gets from tervantias but then it breaks and this lass is just angry at her#the Only reason she doesnt feed her to the wolves and kick her out is her door. and she is now trying to force it open with a crowbar#abelard has to deal with her shit and manage it socially. he never thought he'd want to retire but fucking hell when can he quit#she likes jae mostly for her connections. toxic yuri theyre both using eachother#she briefly idolises achilleas for bringing her to commorragh but then finds out he did it under torture and didnt want to. mad at him#he can make it up to her once hes a wrack though [he is going next to marazhai. this will only improve both their mental states]#can you tell this freak is a piece of work yet#shes got screams of the damned volume 3 playing across the ship and shes having a great time but is completely deadpan the whole time#unrelated! you can finally see my idea of marazhai next to a normal fucking human good god. yeah i think hes huge
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my experience being a Belos fan (who wants to kick his ass) is constantly being reminded that not everyone went through the process of becoming consciously aware of and working to shed the specific horrible mental state one uses to justify allowing/enacting harm against the people one loves. And therefore not everyone can just look Philip in his sad dead eyes and Understand with wretched clarity what went so terribly, odiously wrong in there.
#adddna#toh#spongebob.png MINE WAS SURE AS HELL NOT THAT BAD. but like. I was a bit shit for a while there not gonna lie.#sorry I just saw someone like. mention belos feeling bad abt the GGs as though it were a mere possibility#it just seems so obvious to me that he would. the reprehensible thing is that its not enough to STOP him. thats What Its Like#the mental state is that its sad but necessary. because if it wasnt necessary you're responsible for the harm you allowed or caused.#and the cowardly thing to do is to never face that responsibility.#this is why im so mad at him and want to haunt his nightmares etc. hes being a little bitch and calling himself a hero making sacrifices#toh discussion#my wittebanes
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small comic i've been working on and off on of an au of subjectx!skuld that i call "big sister skuld"
the basic premise is that when she escapes she's dropped off on destiny islands to then be eventually found by small sora, get adopted by his mom, and become his big sister :)
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh skuld#kh ephemer#big sister skuld au#kh subject x#skuld is subject x#giving her SO much trauma#sorry girl i'm just too much of a fan of the headcanon#there's no way it ISN'T canon though#i hc her mental and emotional state affects her station of awakening to the point it's imageless and cracked#probably also because of her lack of memories but ya knowww#just like how ven's was#ephemer doesn't have a face because she can't remember him clearly#also why the others are blurry#because of this comic my friend with no reference of khux is deciding the keyblade war happened because of tastes in fast food restaurants#not sure how that happened
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#shitpost#this is a great reaction image but also just an excellent visual representation of my mental state#every day I can physically feel in my chest the string inside me pulling tighter and tighter#and one day I’ll snap#but not yet! ohoho not quite yet!!#so back down it goes. shoving it away because I do not! wanna! deal with that!!#it’ll make me one day. when it snaps. but that’s not today!!#I’m not at the point of reckless tattoos#and I already cut and dye my own hair so that’s got no catharsis in it#but I am mere inches away from getting a bunch of piercings#I’ve been wanting to for a while. why not now?#go for the septum too while I’m at it even though I wasn’t sure yet?#I need to break something#<- dead serious#because I’m legit inches away from starting a fight#but I am putting on a nice face for everyone :3
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Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^
I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.
There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D
Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!
I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!
Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#
#it's been like a year but im back on my buddyfight kick again#and since im back feeling dejected about OC things again i might try and focus on buddyfight stuff for a bit :Dc#fcbf#future card buddyfight#buddyfight#Deathgaze Death Dragon#Noboru Kodo#Tasuku Ryuenji#Gao Mikado#Drumbunker Dragon#Sawblade Dragon is a funny little critter I made as part of Tasuku's deck in my AU that im writing#and the other two monsters you can just barely see in the last image are Gallows/a Buddy I gifted Sofia#because tbh Sofia really needed a Buddy#specifically a Star Dragon World one#though as of this point in my AU she doesn't have her Star Dragon buddy bc it doesn't “Exist” yet ofc#middlemost image is also an old art thing but a headcanon thing for those mystery kids bc i like them despite not being a fan of-#Sofia/Tasuku all that much (tho had more effort gone into the writing behind them i probably would have liked them tbh lol)#I mean who doesn't like the idea of a guy who was at her side specifically and worked with her to achieve the bad guys goals#ends up watching his precious Buddy be attacked by her which is what snaps him out of his corrupted mental state to finally realize he's in#the wrong#& then when he later meets her as enemies he suffers cognitive dissonance of both loathing and respect towards her which culminates in him-#holding a personal vendetta towards her while also recognizing her efforts as a former ally who helped him during his Disaster days#and so when he gets to the future and has to rely on her help and guidance he has to confront the fact they're two sides of the same coin#& that she's neither an ally nor enemy but a mirror to himself of what he could've been if he'd decided to take action outside of the law#i mean#there was a LOOOOOOT of missed potential between Tasuku & Sofia if the show really wanted to go down the route of implying they end up a-#couple in canon (ESPECIALLY compared to Tasuku/Gao where it's clear Tasuku cares deeply about Gao and doesn't give a damn about Sofia)#and idk i felt we were robbed of a lot of things that could have given chemistry between Sofia and Tasuku
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TA DOODLE DUMP! TA DOODLE DUMP! (+Kelli)
Didn't really have anything to do in art class so here are the blorbos ever
#pjo#alabaster torrington#ethan nakamura#luke castellan#silena beauregard#chris rodriguez#kelli pjo#my art#Can I confess something?#Lukelli is my guilty pleasure BadWrong ship#not in a romantic way but in a Luke after ttc was in a so bad mental state he willingly threw himself into the arms of a monster who—#— sees him as a snack. literally and figuratively#kelli was funny though I'll give him that/hj#with that said I'm a long hair ethan truther. he kept it in a ridiculous choppy ponytail under his helmet at bom#riordanverse#the titan army#titan army#percy jackon and the olympians
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feeling the urge to micromanage my hrt again to try and glitch my body into being more feminine
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Ik two days gone isn't a huge deal to other people but it is to me, since I feel like I woke up in a completely different world. It felt wrong to come back and blog and act like nothing happened, re: current events. I still feel pretty numb and empty about it all, along with many other emotions. I couldn't bring myself to look at any social media bcs it was like rubbing salt in the wound, and it still feels like its take a bit before I'm gonna be able to truly enjoy all the things I enjoy again. I was gonna write some long post about my feelings about it all but, I feel like atp I'd rather just try to indulge in what makes me happy I guess. Thankfully the fomo of not getting to commentate on all the F1 things that have happened have brought me out of the anxious slump I was in(new driver?? GPDA??? Zhou out??? Send me posts???)
On a completely unrelated note. Anyone interested in adoption?
#icl i took a long nap by accident and woke up feeling better#not completely undepressed and unanxious like the nightmare mental state ive had since monday basically#but more at ease i guess#idk ik i don't owe anything to anyone but#it felt weird to reblog anything and not address this#and also its still going to be a while till seeing things about what happened dont make me immensely upset#as i said. salt in the wound.#i know i know two days is nothing in the scheme of things but it is to me#even though i feel like i absolutely have to make this post before i feel comfortable reblogging and indulging#i still feel like people are gonna find this overly dramatic and annoying so. please don't thanks :)#like usually i just doomscroll when im upset but this was just total lack of interest#and anxiety about literally doing anything i like#so to be able to get out of that is good. and i must say it for my own peace of mind#i just cannot engage at all w the news and that kinda thing so its made me really anxious to scroll anything#gah. even thinking about scrolling even just to read about f1 things is making me very anxious#catie.rambling.txt
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In widomauk mood recently
#mollymauk tealeaf#caleb widogast#widomauk#critical role#critical role fanart#the mighty nein#mighty nein#critrole#critical role art#zyinn art#almost give up due to my recent messy mental state#I'm glad that I'm able to finish it in the end#even though it's kinda messy#and took a long time#hopefully I'll get more motivation to do anything at all soon
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Having thoughts about Davetrap... Honestly the fact that he's So sentient is so tragic to me. It's like he said he's still a person he just looks different. Even the fact that he still needs food and is eating rats (which he ripped foxy's leg to do so better, unforgivable) yet seems capable of leaving but thing is WHERE to, y'know... I think this is a reality for most non human characters in this game but him being in such a state of disrepair definitely doesn't help, i mean, he literally couldn't be sold off, something he was clearly upset about (I also like that he called the maze shit a gig like that's cute, that's just his job).
Like its just, Dave was never much of anything, at all, we don't even know if this guy has a fucking home, but he still had some things in his favor, he was still somewhat well put and social and shit, so for him to be left like this it's like... I said it like thrice but its tragic its just tragic, man OT2
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf davetrap#davetrap#dsaf dave#dave miller#im. kinda pained rn. like physically. i think i pulled a muscle too but also my eye spill is acting up#and i have a headache so forgive me not being able to make this post better but i hope my rips my hair off is being conveyed properly#like he's just. so... normal. for the standards he's being held at#HE'S A BETTER WORKER THAN JACK BY ALL MEANS FOR CRYING OUTLOUD#i actually am Not forgetting the henry tape that mentions this is the second time dave has been put thru this but i dont remember#the details and i wont look for them bc henry makes me Way too upset in those tapes but if someone wants to quote him be my guest#though i think i did see a fic where dave had to eat a rat im sure it was a fic and not the tape#i thiiiiiinkkkkkkkkk#but yeah its just. he is just kind of tied by hands and feet yknow!#like its super cruel. like he is too far removed from humanity physically to be considered a person. even if he wanted to...#just do anything. get a job. be able to afford shit. live. it'd be fucking Hard#he's literally a fucking cryptid. and his mental state only helps to worsen this. in typical these cunts fashion#nobody dehumanizes them like they dehumanize themselves PRAYING EMOJIIIIIII#its just sad. i'd fix him. i'd fix him so fast. i'd patch him up and wash him. i'd be beautiful. i'd do it. trust me bro. trust me.#<- (has no experience w mechanisms nor textiles arts)#<- ((makes it up w a big and genuine heart tho))
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