#not how i imagined this chapter would go
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i think i've seen this film before...
and i didn't like the ending
#DUDE THIS CHAPTER. THE LEAKS.#im actually like#if this is the end of jshk#i cant#they were doomed by the narrative#whoa#this was just#not how i imagined this chapter would go#so um#yeah#im gonna go cry#tbhk#jshk#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk ch112#tbhk spoilers#hananene
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#bahhhhhhhhhh I’m just obsessed with them🥺#I’m going to post my next chapter tomorrow this is my promise to myself#it’s literally written !!!!!!!!!! but even though I *know* where I’m having the plot go etc etc#I just want to think a bit more and make sure how I’m portraying everytbing/the scenes I include are moving the story in the right direction#maybe it would have been easier for me if I just followed the game plot#but I HAD to go and add mythology and intrigue and angst and change it completely🥲#I’m also introducing a new character I’m SO excited for bc he’s so awful🥹🥹🥹 and I’ll draw him soon I think#well now I’m going to find a way to add a scene like this drawing in the future🥰🥰🥰#bc right now they only exist happily in my imagination and this art😆😆😆#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc#also I literally LOVE Eloise’s hair when it’s down#but a) she finds it scandalous bc of her time spent with muggles#and b) I the artist am quite lazy and it takes FOREVER to draw it like this bc I don’t actually know how to draw curly hair
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Hi dear SVSSS fandom, does anyone have any fic recommendations where SQQ is a complete badass? Please? I want to read that so badly, I got reminded of Inappropriate Use May Result in Strange Side Effects by AceOfDivineChlorophyll and how badass he is in LBH body and now I just need to read something that doesn't immediately wife plot him.
Doesn't matter if the fic is about something else as long as he's allowed to be actually strong! Please! I have no idea how to find this
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#it's an itch i have to scratch#i keep imagining how the other peak lords would react to sqq being badass in lbh body#and i need to shift my focus before I go insane hoping that the next chapter will be out soon#or anything of that writer really#i reread most of their svsss fics yesterday#please help I'm going insane
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It's all about Nagi living alone in a tiny one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with zero personality and Reo having a whole floor for himself but still living surrounded by tacky-expensive home decor with no apparent traces of his actual personality, either. It's all about how Nagi's parents haven't visited him in 2 years nor taken an interest in his life since, while Reo's are content to live floors apart from their teenage son, only taking an interest in what value he can bring to Mikage Corp but being otherwise uninvolved in / dismissive of his actual life. It's all about them being surrounded by people and still not knowing how to form a meaningful connection with another person before meeting each other. It's all about them being so starved for genuine human warmth to combat their bone-deep loneliness that they both treasure memories of tiny, inconsequential moments where they were spending time with their parents. Something something it's this line,
and how it describes them both despite being said about Reo. It's them being awkward 17-year-olds who had never before had an equal who would just respect them as they are and unconditionally look their way. In this essay I will-
#Blue lock#Blue lock spoilers#Mikage reo#Nagi seishirou#Bllk thoughts#This chapter was sooooo good#Gosh. Just as I was grumpy about epinagi getting boring without all the emotional deep dives that made it so interesting in the first place#They go and give us this bonus chapter. What a feast#I wish every month could be like this#This gave so much perspective to why they are the way they are#Most of it is not new information but I really loved all the foiling in this omake#Truly drives it home how both get their drive from their partnership bc they crave meaningful connections#Like. I had a whole post about how they're both each other first friend#And even then it couldn't have prepared me to the reveal of reo living in a whole ass empty skyscraper by himself#Did you also notice the distinct lack of soccer paraphernalia in his house or was that just me#Heck there isn't even a single soccer ball in sight...#And he calls Nagi's room void#Gosh they're both so fascinating#Of course they're bored out of their mind before meeting each other. Imagine being that understimulated and that lonely#I'm surprised they're this functional tbh. If anything they should be More mentally ill#I sure would lose it after a week at Reo's place#At least nagi owns mangas come on
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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Nancy Wheeler the shoujo manga protagonist you are what with your love triangle and everything about you my pookie <3
#the fake shoujo manga chapter divider in a shoujo magazine is complete!#this took me like three days to finish and needless to say I’m proud of it 😌#ok maybe apart from Steve I’m not too happy with how he came out#everytime I draw his s1 hair apart of me wants to explode cause of how confusing and hard it is to draw#I imagine that this (fake) manga starts off as a regular shoujo romance but slowly escalates into a sci-fi horror#I’d like to thank Betsumas online archive for giving me references of shoujo from the 80s and 90s#ngl this would have flopped without it#I took some inspo from the many different art styles I saw in my betsuma refs and added aspects to my already pretty anime style#I also stylized Jonathan’s hair differently to how I usually do it to go more in line with how I think it would be stylized#in an actual shoujo#same with Nancy too#I also did more softer shading and tried to make it look watercoloury as alot of the shoujo mangaka I like use it for more fancy art#in relation to their work#i don’t think it comes across that way but hey it was worth a try!#I’m either proud of the title of this fake ST manga or ashamed of it idk I can’t decide#anyways I might do a part two to this? idk it was originally my intention#hope y’all enjoy!#stranger things#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#steve harrington#barbra holland#jancy#I’ll add the jancy tag cause this piece has the pairing in subtext (lmk if i should remove it at all cause this isn’t an obvious jancy thing#)#cw eyestrain#tw eyestrain#<-adding these tags cause I think this could cause some eyestrain
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nobody's doing it like itsuki yyh. i've been thinking about him and sensui a lot today but like. ok get this. imagine being a demon and this cute human guy (you are gay btw green hair and pronounsed and everything) shows up and tries to kill you and almost succeeds. you survive because you lament that you're gonna miss the finale of a show you watch/see a niche pop artist on tv (depending on adaptation, but either way these are your last words and it airs the next night), and he says he's into it too. you become partners. this man, shinobu sensui, is a spirit detective who's been haunted by demons his whole life, has been killing them with the complete, unwavering belief that he's right for it, since he was in pre-k. you being a demon does not seem to change how he thinks about this. it doesn't change your feelings either, since he fascinates you. you help him kill demons.
one day, your human is confronted with one of the worst sights imaginable, one that shatters his worldview completely. he sees demons being tortured and slaughtered hedonistically by a group of humans. he can't process it. he splits. your shinobu is now one of seven within his body. you love each of them. you love him. you watch as he pivots into a deep hatred of humanity, and of himself for slaughtering so many demons, and of his own inescapable humanity. you love it. you can't get enough of it. watching someone so pure and self-assured become confused, disillusioned, twisted, evil, broken, it thrills and captivates you. it's beautiful, and you egg it on. you make it worse, obsessively. you make him worse. you only want what he wants, really. but you want him to want it worse. sensui is spiraling and you don't steady him, you accelerate it and accelerate it, until he's deciding that before he dies (which will be sooner than you'd like, sooner than you know what to do with), he's going to end humanity. he's going to unleash demonkind on them and secure his redemption, his doom, his punishment. it's a baptism by fire. what a way to go. a very sensui way to go, and you love it like the rest of him: poisonously. you don't need a word of convincing, no argument (as desperate as sensui is to argue his case for this), not a second of that tape, to follow him. you watch as sensui breaks the fragile people he encounters, wrenches them into misanthropic weapons. he's amazing at it. minoru is amazing at it. he brings together his crew of heart-bleeding, self-loathing pawns, and in your downtime you and sensui watch human tv, share your love for animals, plants, the human world. you cherish, distract yourself with, and celebrate these together. they're what brought you together in the first place, and you will destroy them together. you wonder if he knows that these things he loves will surely die when the demons come. you expect he views them as necessary casualties in ridding the world of human evil. how deliciously cruel he can be. you savor it. you have to savor it. you don't like thinking about the end. that sensui will barely be alive to enjoy his victory. is he so convinced of humanity's foulness that he would never bend, never doubt his genocide at all? or would he come to regret it? would he hate himself even more than he does now? once the greater evil, humanity, is eliminated, would he turn his sights on himself? he may see himself as one of the "enlightened" humans who know mankind's evil, but he is still a human with plenty of demon blood on his hands. you want to know. you're desperate for it. you don't ask him what he thinks he will become. you want to watch it unfold naturally, for as long as he is around. let the ink bleed over the page. don't blow. don't wave the paper, don't even touch it. be patient.
your sensui is killed spectacularly at the finish line. he was struck down by a human reborn as a demon. how fitting. it's what sensui wanted, and you are happy for him, as much as you can be. it's bittersweet. you knew it would end soon. you both did. you talked about it all the time. and now it's... over. the portal is being resealed. demons will not wipe out mankind. humanity will go on, unaffected. your sensui's lonely war against his own kind is already being forgotten by the few who knew of it. such a beautiful moment, swept away by time, your sensui. and now his enemies want to claim his soul. his body. to bring him to the afterlife, for whatever judgement awaits him. and you fulfill your final obligation to him. you take him away. sensui did not want any part of that, and neither do you, not particularly. it sounds rather painful, all considered. you lift him and slip away to where no one can reach you. your own little dimension, your own little pocket of existence, just the two of you. no one can touch him now. you, either, not that you care. you hold him like you have for years, and think of your future together. here, where no one can reach him. no one will touch him or stain him or rip him or tear him ever again, not even you. but you will always be closest, and that's enough. cut off from humankind and demonkind completely. it's only you. and it's only him. you wonder how long you will live, like this. a long time. it makes no difference. sensui has broken completely, and you hold the shards of him. every piece remaining is yours, is in your arms, will be yours forever. you wonder if this should be enough for you. if you should be satisfied. you are. as someone whose last regret was missing a late night program, you don't see much point in leaving. what is there for itsuki without sensui? what is there in the world worthwhile? demons, humans, the rest of it. none of it would ever compare. not even to the shards.
you wonder, and it is far from the first or the last time, how sensui will change now, in your arms. white to black, skin to bone to dust. and when you die your soul will dissipate like his, and in a little unreality you and he will linger forever, where no one can know or recall. you will die a secret of the world, a potential wasted, a close call, a scream that is swallowed last-minute. and you will be together. it's all that's mattered for a long time. you wonder if you'll ever change. you don't expect to.
#whatttt is going on with that guy am i right#also sorry if the use of he/him for sensui bothers y'all i wasn't sure if they/them would be more appropriate post-split#they use he/him in the series and that's generally how he's referred to so i went with that. i imagine it's a case-by-case basis anyhow#and it's not like sensui's the most accurate depiction of DID regardless. so im meeting the show where it's at for this#also sorry i am. anime only. so while there's at least one manga detail in there if some of this reads weird it's probably becuzza that#ANYWAY itsuki is not like to blame for sensui's misanthropic disaster spiral or anything but he's like. defo not helping. and i think that'#really interesting of him. yeah#get you a bf who wants to ruin you genuinely with little regard for you as a person bc they think it's hot.e yeehaw#yyh#yu yu hakusho#itsuki#shinobu sensui#anyway ppl should talk about them more i'm very normal about them i promise#can't wait to get to chapter black again bc i remember less of their dynamic than i'd like#also i didnt proofread this sorry orz
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The sylvari Commander: in the process of educating visitors to the Grove, who have just received 38 inappropriate questions each, "You know, you cannot really fault the saplings for being curious, even if they lack tact. And filters. The other races get an upbringing, we don't. There are Mentors, yes, but only so many. We just wake up into the world, with boundless curiosity and so many unanswered questions."
A mob of saplings, rapidly approaching the Commander's location: "Oh! It's really you! We've seen so much of you in the Dream! Is it true you died? What was it like? What did you see and learn? Was it awful?"
The Commander: *scowls in PTSD*
#gw2#guild wars 2#gw2 sylvari#sylvari#Very applicable to#Maelmordha#but also I feel most sylvari Comms out there. Going to the Grove and getting hit with So Many Questions about that one PoF story chapter#every. damn. time.#With how natyrally curious sylvari are towards EVERYTHING and the MC being the only known (and accessible) person to them to actually retur#from death I'd imagine the questions would pour like rain#pof spoilers#commander's musings#<- new tag for character-related musing stuff to not bury my personal musings + character artwork
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I have a headcanon that when the Teiko gang is older, Akashi gets tired of seeing Aomine and Momoi being oblivious to the relationship they have with each other, so he conspires with the other GoM + Kuroko to get them together and it works.
#dont ask me about the how i have a lecture in 10 minutes and dont have time to elaborate#if anyone wants to expand on this headcanon further please be my guest#but yeah i just remembered akashi in the replace plus chapters#and how he was basically telling nijimura that aomomo dont realize theyre made for each other#because theyre so close that they cant see whats directly in front of them#so i deffo feel like hed be the one to kickstart a campaign to finally make them a couple#and the other gom would support it of course#ill let yall imagine how this would go down#kuroko no basket#knb headcanons#akashi seijuro
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AC Forsaken: Yeah, Edward was kinda a sexist who didn't want to teach his daughter assassin way and wanted to give her away into a marriage to a guy she hated...
AC4: Well... he had Mary Read as one of close friends and Anne Bonny as his quartermaster... so I guess he kinda respected strong women
AC Forgotten Temple: Yeah, he respects strong women... but with our "modern-days-Edward-descendant" we kinda implying that he wasn't faithful to Tessa...
#and then theres me sitting with “the hell is going on here”#no seriously maybe im dumb but HOW in the bloody hell otherwise Noa would be his descendant#for some time i though “well maybe its all happening before he and tessa became a thing”#but then the most recent chapter just shattered this theory for me#*heavy sigh*#you cant imagine how much Edward's characterization irks me in almost everything outside ac4#(also yeah ive played ac4 before ive read forsaken)#(so imagine my face while i was reading the whole “edward was kinda an asshole towards jenny” thing)#edward kenway#assassin's creed#ac#assassins creed#black flag#assassins creed forgotten temple
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i'll admit, i didn't really expect bonney to be able to turn into nika/go g5, but like ??????? it makes sense ???
one piece has always been about freedom, and for bonney, nika represents freedom. it represents the life she wishes she and her dad could have had, free from pain and suffering and free to do what they wanted.
i do think this chapter could have benefited with like... two more pages before the final double spread, maybe have the page right before it be a flashback page of bonney thinking about the dance with kuma, her thinking of how saturn (i think it was saturn) told her that as she grew up her powers would grow weaker, and then thinking of luffy saying "it's when i'm at my most free" and transforming.
but i do not think it was out of left field, or badly written, or whatever power scalers are bitching about. i think it could have been done better, and i hope the anime includes some of what i mentioned when it gets to this chapter, because i think that will really help people process it.
#imo if ur a power scaler one piece is not the shonen manga for u#go to boruto or jjk or something#oda has made it abundantly clear that power scaling is useless in the world of one piece#also i do think this is why reading manga week to week is not necessarily the best way to enjoy it#theorizing and talking about what could come next is exciting and nice#but to me the end of this chapter felt like a strong (whether intended or not) call back to bonneys powers being called weak#and showed how growing up does NOT mean you lose your imagination#and i think if people read egghead over the course of like a couple of sittings and not over the course of a few months#a lot of their problems w/ this arc would be resolved#anyways.#one piece spoilers#one piece unreleased#op spoilers#one piece chapter 1118#one piece chapter 1118 spoilers#one piece
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers… can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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general society is such an underthought aspect of mha. obviously there’s the big things like the obsession over heroic quirks and the demonisation of villainous quirks. quirkless people are dismissed entirely but i don’t think we talk about how society in general would have to handle a world with super powers.
we know after afo’s first uprising, the government overcorrected and outlawed public quirk usage. we know people have their quirks registered and go through quirk counselling as well as a type of gym class where they practice under teacher supervision.
how in the hell is that supposed to work?
the closest equivalent i can think of is mental health services. someone would have to study for a long time to be able to pursue quirk counselling as a career. it’s also a highly personalised system: everyone has a different quirk - even similar ones have different activations, triggers, exceptions and drawbacks - so no two sessions could ever be the same. if anyone’s been through mental health services, you know how rough it is; it’s an overworked, underpaid system and if you live somewhere that only offers a few free visits, it can also be expensive.
and that’s an elective service.
almost everyone on the planet would need quirk counselling.
there’s no way they could implement such a labour intensive and individual public system and we literally see that they can’t.
we see the gym class in amajiki’s flashback and he only has a few minutes with his teacher before he’s chided for not being more impressive and utilising his quirk to the fullest and they move on to the next student. say a standard class is twenty students like it is at ua. that leaves just over two minutes for each student to learn and practice their quirks. you can’t focus on just one kid per lesson bc what will the other nineteen do? do teachers also have to have a degree in quirk counselling? is that part of becoming a phys ed teacher or is it some random joe schmo trying to wrap his head around literal super powers?
given that inko goes to garaki - a doctor - to confirm izuku’s quirklessness, it can be assumed that quirk counselling is entwined with the medical system. i don’t know if you’ve ever had to apply for a specialist before but you can be on their waiting list for a while. a quirk counsellor is essentially a specialist. are there subcategories of counsellors? do you focus on either emitter, transformation or mutation the way doctors become cardiologists, paediatricians and neurologists? or is one person expected to be equally knowledgeable about all three?
we see through toga that her counsellor identified her need for blood but they didn’t find a way to curb those instincts or even find a supplement for her. she’s left to be abused by her family for something she can’t control bc it’s literally in her dna. compare that to iida who knows he needs orange juice to power his quirk. his entire family are pro heroes so it would be easy to assume they could employ a private quirk counsellor the same way richer people can employ private doctors.
how many people have specific requirements due to their quirks? changes in their physiology that have to be treated the same way nutritional deficiencies and allergies do? even people without mutations probably have those requirements: does kirishima’s shark teeth mean he’s an obligate carnivore? does mina’s acid change her ph levels and what vitamins and minerals she needs? how would they figure that out? quirk counselling.
what about kids like touya who would need extensive counselling so he could figure out how to live with his quirk without hurting himself? kaminari essentially has seizures and they’re so normal to him and everyone around him that they’re the butt of jokes. they wouldn’t be a one and done patient; there’s always going to be people that need continued support the exact same way there’s people that need developmental and disability support. there would be so many quirks that harm their user, are they just taught to bury their quirks? as if that wouldn’t cause any physical or mental consequences?
governments can’t create a system that applies to only some people, we’re expected to believe they’ve made one that applies to all of them?
#bnha#my hero academia#mha meta#i imagine its similar to therapy in that the first session would be free since its probably required in order to register a child’s quirk#they probably figure out activation in that time and thats it#onto the next kid bc there will always be another kid#you want more information on your child’s power? you better be able to pay for more sessions#even quirkless people need to be fully assessed to ensure theyre quirkless#i doubt anyone else is as interested in this as i am but it feels like just another world building aspect horikoshi just kinda skipped#quirk counselling is just sort of thrown in with toga and curious and it becomes just another concept that is brought up and discarded#quirk counselling quirklessness mutant prejudice the quirk singularity theory general mutations outside of mutant quirks#theres so many little interesting concepts that are never given the development they deserve#and when they are like in the last few chapters its done in such a shallow handwavy way that i wish hed just leave them alone altogether#no wonder the plf exists quirks are so suppressed in society while also being a status symbol#and yet its a completely hypothetical advantage if they dont become a hero or a villain#if a kid has a heroic quirk theyre held on a pedestal and if they have a villainous one theyre demonised at best and abused at worst#koichi was almost given a fine bc he was using his quirk to get through foot traffic quicker how is there not a riot every year about#quirk freedom and rights violations?#and yet its completely glossed over#go beyond plus ultra#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#mha
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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 163
warnings: nsfw! hmh masterlist
After letting yourself cry for a bit, you decide it’s at least time to get up to the house and see Ronan. You want to see her since she always cheers you up, but you’re not ready to talk to John. You can’t really avoid him since he’s definitely still in the house, but you’re not ready to talk to him--he knows that too. He knows you’ll come to him when you are.
When you open the door, John leans over from the kitchen and gives you a small smile. He goes back to what he’s doing though. He’s just checking that you’re coming in. You make your way up to Ronan’s room and smile to yourself when you see her asleep in her crib, and you fight the urge not to crawl in there and lay down with her.
“I love you, bug.” you whisper to her, then you leave her be.
You reach for your phone in your back pocket and text Tess: Girls’ night? Me, you, Amanda. It’s urgent.
Tess texts back immediately: YES!
Turning in your room, you make your way to your closet and go through your clothes for tonight. You just want to have a nice night with Amanda and Tess where you can vent about what’s going on. Sometimes you just really need your friends.
“So…” John clears his throat, and you turn to look at him--he just looks sad, but you’re not going to fall for those brown eyes. Definitely not the soft puppy dog eyes he’s giving you.
Don’t give in. Don’t give in.
“I’m going to go out with Tess and Amanda.”
John nods, “I figured.”
You look over your shoulder again when he sits down on the bed and watches you, “I thought you said you were going to give me space.”
“I was, but…” he looks at you and sighs loudly, “This is killing me, Y/N.”
“Imagine how I feel.” you say back, and he looks down. “You made me feel like an idiot when you allowed your ex to be hired. I’m so fucking embarrassed. I--you know what, I don’t want to talk about it now. Give me space.”
John stands up and wipes his hands on his jeans as he looks at you, “Okay.”
You two look at each other for a moment before he steps closer to you. Of course you don’t flinch or back away from him when he comes closer to you, and you close your eyes and lean against his chest when he hugs you. It feels nice to be in his arms despite the fact that you’re still mad at him. He kisses the top of your head, then he tilts your chin up and kisses you softly. You kiss him back, of course.
“I love you,” he whispers, and you keep your eyes closed. “We’ll talk when you get home?”
You nod, “Yup.”
“Okay.” he kisses you once more, then he gently runs a finger along your jawline, “Be safe. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” you smile softly but it doesn’t reach your eyes, “I love you too.”
John inhales deeply and swallows before he turns around and leave your room.
It’s annoying that he’s so damn cute.
__
Not that you were expecting to feel better from some drinks, but you expected to at least be able to put it aside for a little bit. But you can’t. It’s right there in the front of your brain, just waiting for you. No matter how much you ignore it, it just sits there and waits for you to pay attention to it. You know you have to talk about it, if not to Tess and Amanda, you’ll have to talk about it tonight with John when you get home.
You look down at your drink and inhale, “John let me hire his ex at the shop.”
Tess and Amanda both look at you with wide eyes. Tess is the first to say something.
“He what?”
“Who?” Amanda says, furrowing her brow, “John doesn’t have exes. He dated Helen and you, so like, who the hell was it?”
You look at them with weak, sad eyes, “Rachel.”
“That…” Amanda looks around to make sure her kids aren’t near, “Bitch! She wouldn’t leave him alone after they went on one date and he told me that he wasn’t into her. He had just met you! He was literally obsessed with you the moment you two met!”
“They went on two dates,” you say, holding up two fingers.
Amanda gives you a small smile, “One was a pity date, let’s be real. After he met you, babe, no one could change his mind. He knew you were the one.”
“I guess it’s not really even about that. Okay, well, it’s a little bit about that. I’m human, of course I’m going to get a little insecure about it.” you shrug, “It’s mostly the fact that he didn’t tell me who she was. Had he just pulled me aside and told me, I wouldn’t have fought so hard to hire her. Then there’s that! I was so set on hiring her, so we did. I literally fought to get her hired, which makes me look so stupid because I didn’t know who she was! He thinks that if it were him, he’d be cool with it.”
Tess and Amanda immediately roll their eyes and shake their heads while saying ‘no’ over and over.
“Bull…shit.” Tess lets out a small laugh, “I’ve seen how John acts when someone looks at you a little too long. If he’s trying to say that he’d be cool with your ex working at the shop, he’s a fucking liar.”
“And on top of it, we literally have not had sex in…so long.” you admit, your cheeks turning a little red, “It’s been almost three weeks now. After the pub crawl last week, we got home and planned on it, but it felt weird being…planned. We’ve never had to plan to have sex. I mean, what the hell, right?”
Amanda shrugs, “Sometimes you just get into ruts. ‘Relio and I have been together forever, so of course we’ve had some slumps here and there. Of course we’ve gone a while without having sex. It doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to him--y’all know I’m insanely attracted to my husband.”
She is very much attracted to him. Every time you all go out, she gushes about him the whole time and how sexy he is. It’s actually pretty cute.
“But of course we get into slumps. I think it’s just natural. Is this the first time since you’ve been married?”
You shake your head, “I wouldn’t say the first time, but it’s longest we’ve gone, that’s for sure. John usually can’t keep his hands to himself, and now with the whole Rachel thing, of course my anxiety is lying and telling me something that isn’t true. I have to keep reminding myself of that.”
Tess reaches over for your hand and smiles, “Good. We always worked on that, didn’t we?”
It’s no secret that you have anxiety and that most of the things that you’re thinking when it gets triggered aren’t true. Of course John didn’t know that Rachel was coming in for an interview, and he isn’t being intimate with you because of Rachel--that’s something else entirely. But your anxiety is telling you the opposite.
“But if he’s not being intimate with me because of her, then why isn’t he being intimate with me?”
Tess shrugs one shoulder, “Maybe it’s you not being intimate with him.”
“What? Why would you even say that?” you say, immediately getting defensive, “Of course I want to be intimate with him.”
“But are you initiating it? Are you doing anything to set the mood? It can’t always be him. It’s not always Jimmy. Sometimes I set up for us to have romantic nights together when I know he’s stressed out from work.” she says, and you put your hand over your mouth when you realize that it can’t always be him and it might be your fault. “Do something special for him.”
You let out a small laugh, “Well, I’m mad at him right now. I came over here for some support, you know.”
“We know,” Amanda laughs as she pours more wine into your glass, “And we agree with you on that, of course. But you’re clearly having other troubles, so we’re here to give you advice.”
Tess smiles, “Obviously we’re on your side. I’ll always be on your side no matter what. But I’m also going to give you advice when I can. I know you don’t want trouble in your marriage--no one does--so I’m going to help you.”
“First thing is first, John was completely wrong with the whole Rachel situation and he should absolutely apologize. Knowing him, he’s sitting at home just dreading every second you’re gone and just waiting for you to get back so he can apologize. We all agree there.” Amanda says as she gets up and grabs a pad of paper and a pen, “You have the most fantastic communication, so I have no doubt that you two will talk all of this out, but…”
You start to laugh, “You just want to help plan a romantic night?”
“Yes, of course!” she smiles, clicking her pen, “Let’s brainstorm.”
__
On the way home, your anger dissolved. It probably dissolved earlier in the evening but you noticed as you drove past the shop. You’re not in the mood to yell and argue with John, so you hope that he’s ready to talk it out. You’re not one to really fight or raise your voice anyway, so here’s hoping John is in a good place to talk things out.
There’s only a single light on in the living room when you pull into the driveway, but soon another light turns on. John has been waiting up for you. You park the car and lock it, then you walk inside, immediately greeted by John and some flowers.
“Hi,” he breathes out quietly.
“Hi, John.” you let out a small laugh, “Flowers?”
He looks down at them and shrugs, “I know you like these, and when I went to the store earlier, I saw them, so I decided to just pick some up.”
You look at him and raise a brow, “You went grocery shopping?”
“Yeah, of course.” he says, and you nod your head.
Usually the two of you go together, but every now and then, it’ll just be one of you. John went grocery shopping by himself with Ronan, which isn’t always easy. He definitely deserves some kudos for that.
“You embarrassed me,” you say as you look at him, holding his gaze, “I wish you would have told me right away who she was. I get why you didn’t--it’s awkward! I just wish you would have told me instead of me finding out for myself.”
“I was going to tell you. I really was. I just didn’t know when to tell you, and you were so excited about having more people out there.” he steps closer and reaches for your hand, “I apologize for everything. I apologize for not being honest with you. I apologize for you having to find out on your own. I apologize for not doing my job at being your husband.”
You inhale deeply, “You realize why I was so upset, right?”
“Absolutely. It was completely wrong of me to not tell you who she was. I should have stayed for the interview and told you as soon as she left. I should have but I didn’t, and I’m paying for that, which is fine and I accept that. I understand that you’re upset with me and don’t blame you at all. And I promise you, this will never happen again.”
You start to laugh, “Of course it won’t, I fired her.”
“You did?”
“I did!” you walk into the kitchen, stopping short when you see the candles and chocolate on the counter. You look over your shoulder at him and smile, and he shrugs a little. “I forgot that you don’t know what even happened.”
John shakes his head, “I don’t, but can we just…can we talk about us first?”
“Yes,” you turn around to face him, “Going forward, I never want you to lie or hide something from me again. No matter what it is. That’s not how we do things around here.”
“I know. I don’t know why I did what I did, but I apologize. I’m sorry,” he says, pulling you closer to him, “So, so sorry, peach.”
You smile softly, “I don’t care what it is, you need to tell me. I don’t care if it’s an ex or something else, please tell me so I don’t look stupid.”
“You didn’t look stupid,” he says, holding your gaze, “How would you have known who she was?”
“Well, I mean, I would have if you told me,” you say, letting out a small laugh. John doesn’t find it funny though. You reach up and cup his face, “You look miserable.”
“I am so miserable, mouse, you have no idea.” he pouts, and you lean up to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you tight and holds you, pressing his lips to yours over and over, “I’m sorry.”
“I accept your apology,” you close your eyes and lean your forehead against his lips, “I missed you.”
John keeps his lips pressed to your forehead, “I missed you too. Oh, and more one thing…”
“Yes?”
John takes a deep breath and lets it out with a chuckle, “I would not be okay with hiring your ex. Not a shot in hell.”
You laugh, “Trust me, I know! I knew you wouldn’t!”
“I’d rather die than let that happen. I don’t want any of your exes near you,” he says, and you start to laugh, “For selfish reasons, of course.”
“Oh, well, obviously.”
John pulls you closer, “But I don’t want anyone who has ever hurt you to ever be near you again.”
“I would like to see you a little jealous though,” you admit as he laughs, “Maybe a little sexy possessiveness too. That’s hot.”
“All you have to do is go to a bar and you’ll immediately get hit on, and then I’ll be there to shut that shit down,” he says, and you bite your bottom lip and smile, “At the pub crawl, I saw guys looking at you. I didn’t want to be…possessive, but I made sure they knew you weren’t available and that you were there with me.”
You snort, “Which is why you grabbed my ass a lot.”
“Well, yeah, that and your ass is fucking incredible.” he says, spanking you a few times before sliding his hand into your back pocket, “You’re mine and I’ll fight for you.”
“Trust me, there’s no fight. There’s no one else I want to be with.”
John smiles as he leans down to kiss you tenderly, “Same. I really am sorry.”
“I know,” you say softly, cupping his face, “Thank you for apologizing…several times.”
“I fucked up!” he says, and you nod, “I really fucked up, and I’m sorry. I want you to know that I’m sorry. I didn’t consider your feelings and that’s not right, so I apologize. I know that I can be a better husband than that.”
You jerk your head back, “John, I have never thought you were a bad husband. We argue. It’s natural, but I don’t think you’re a bad husband because of that. I have never thought that, babe. I think you’re the best husband, even when you’re being an idiot.”
John starts to laugh, “Good, I’m relieved.”
“I mean it,” you look into his sad brown eyes, “Yeah, you made me mad. You upset me, but I know us. I knew we’d talk it out and figure everything out--just like we’ve done with any other argument we’ve gotten into. You apologized, you were genuine, and I forgave you. I forgive you, babe.”
“Thank you,” he whispers as he leans down to kiss you.
“Ro is already asleep?”
“Mhm,” he says, still not moving his lips.
You smile and finally tilt your head back to look at him, “I love you.”
“I love you more. So much more,” he reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ear, “No one could ever change that. Especially not someone who I don’t even give a second thought to.”
“She said she was going to try to get you to leave me.”
John shakes his head, “Impossible.”
You run your hands up his chest, “Good. I fired her and she wanted me to tell you to give her a call when we get divorced.”
John starts to laugh, “I’ll pass, because we’re not getting divorced, are we?”
“Nope!” you smile at him, reaching up to move his hair a little, “You look tired.”
“I am,” he laughs, scrunching his brows, “You just going to keep insulting me? First I looked miserable, now I look tired.”
You start to laugh, “Stop! I’m sure I do too.”
“Why don’t we go to bed? Just go lay down and watch something?” he suggests and you nod your head as you let go of him.
“I just want to go see Ronan.”
John reaches for your hand when you walk past, “Thank you for forgiving me. Sersiouly. I really fucked up. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you hadn’t forgiven me, but I’m incredibly grateful that you did.”
“I love you, John,” you walk back over and kiss him, “Of course I’m going to forgive you. Just…don’t do it again. I don’t like her. I never did. I mean, I did when I hired her, but she wasn’t being herself. She was just using me to get to you. But I do forgive you.”
“Do you trust me?”
You know that John would never stray. You know that John would have immediately shut down Rachel if she tried to make a move. You know he loves you and only wants to be with you. You absolutely trust him. There’s no one you trust more.
You take a deep breath and look into his eyes, “Yes.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he cups your face and smiles, “You’re stuck with me, Wick, and I won’t apologize for that.”
“Hey! I call you that.”
John presses a kiss to your lips, “You’re stuck with me.”
“You’re stuck with me,” you say back, and he grins as he leans down to kiss you. “I wouldn’t change a thing though.”
“Me neither.”
__
Since you were both so exhausted from arguing, you immediately went to sleep. John held tight to you all night and kissed your shoulder every so often when he woke up, but nothing else happened. It’s a bummer, but you still have a plan. You’re sure he was just too nervous to start anything.
Last night, Amanda and Tess helped you come up with something to do to surprise John, so today you’re dropping Ronan off with Tess and heading out to surprise John for the day. You’re so excited and hope like hell he’ll love what you have planned.
Unfortunately before you can do any of that, you have several things that need to be done around the house. John is outside mowing the lawn while Ronan is in her pack ’n play on the patio. She hates that thing now that she can walk but she can’t be trusted while John is mowing--she’s a little stinker who loves to follow him around.
You step onto the patio and smile when she turns around to look at you. Her face is red and covered in big tears, and you jut your bottom lip out as you walk over to her.
“Oh, sweet girl, you just miss daddy, don’t you?” you reach in and pick her up, “Let’s go see him.”
You wave as you walk over to him but he doesn’t see since his hair is hanging in his face. Ronan squeals loudly and waves at him, and you laugh and call out to him.
“Dad! Daddy! We’re talking to you!” you yell, and John finally glances up and notices, a smile immediately spreads on his face. “Someone missed you.”
John turns off the lawn mower and waits for you to get closer so you can place Ronan in his lap, “She needs some ear muffs so she can ride around with me.”
You laugh as you wipe away the big tears still on her face, “She’d love that, I bet.”
“Someone missed me, huh?” John smiles when Ronan looks up at him, and he leans down to kiss her, “Just someone? Not anyone else?”
“Well, I’m someone too!” you move closer and kiss him, hugging him tight despite the fact that he’s sweaty. “So, after we get things done around here, I have some plans for us.”
John furrows his brow, “But I made plans for us.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, just for…just you and I.” he says gesturing to the two of you, and you start to smile. “We can do your thing though.”
You smile as you nod, “Yeah, I really want to do this for you.”
“Maybe we can do my thing tomorrow?”
“Yeah, that sounds good. My thing isn’t until a little later, like around 8, so I’m going to bring Ro over to Tess’ house.” you say, and John narrows his eyes like he’s trying to already figure out what the plan is--there’s no way he knows. “Then we can get her later.”
John nods once, still sussing you out, “Okay…”
“I hope you like it,” you say softly, and John pulls you closer to him. “I just…really want us to, you know, get back to the way things were.”
“I’ll love it. I’ll be with you, so I’ll love it.” he whispers against your lips before he kisses you. “That’s all I care about: being with you.”
Cupping John’s face, you smile at him and rub your thumb over his beard, “Well, I’ll let you finish this up. I’m going to bring her inside and get her something to eat.”
“Okay,” John slides his hand into your back pocket and squeezes, a smile tugging at his lips, “I’ll be done soon.”
Thankfully Ronan doesn’t fight you when you take her from John, then you head back to the house as the mower starts up behind you. You hear the beep from the horn on it, and you turn around to see John blowing kisses at you and Ronan.
__
It’s time! You’re ready to go and practically vibrating with excitement. John doesn’t have a clue as to where you’re going, so you’re driving. He also doesn’t know that you won’t be going back home tonight and that you packed a bag for the two of you. You’re in desperate need of a change of scenery tonight and you booked a very romantic hotel for tonight.
“I’m excited,” John says from the passenger’s seat, “Where are we going?”
You click your tongue at him, “You know I can’t tell you.”
“Oh, come on!”
“Nope!” you smile at him, “It’s a surprise, Wick!”
John inhales deeply and looks over at you, “Fine. I’ll stop. I’m only stopping because you’re distracting me with how beautiful you look tonight.”
“Thank you! You look so handsome tonight.” you reach down and hold his hand that is resting on your thigh and you bring it up to your lips, “I hope you don’t have plans later.”
“Oh, yeah, why is that?”
You keep your gaze forward as you grin, “Just keep your night open, Wick.”
“Oh, I will. As long as you keep yours.” he laughs, and you look over at him before you turn.
You can see the sky lit up from all the lights through the trees but it doesn’t look like John knows where you’re going still. Yes, it sucks that you couldn’t bring Ronan with you tonight, but it needs to be just the two of you. You two need a night alone. And what is more romantic than spending the evening at a local carnival.
“Hey, peach…”
“Hmm?”
John glances at you, “Did you happen to look at my phone or anything?”
“No?” you look over at him with your eyebrows scrunched, “Why?”
“Because…” he starts to laugh, “Because, uh, this is where I was taking you tomorrow.”
You start to smile, “We planned the same thing?”
“Great minds think alike, I guess.” he laughs, then he looks over at you, “You takin’ me to a carnival?”
“Yes,” you laugh, and he leans over to kiss you.
John places his hand on the back of your neck and lightly squeezes it, “Cutie.”
“I thought it would be fun, but it’s not my only surprise!”
“You’re not planning to take me on a moonlit walk later, are you?” he asks, and you start to laugh as you look at him, “Well, shit, I just ruined my surprise for tomorrow.”
You smile so hard your cheeks hurt, “You’re so fucking cute, Jonathan.”
After getting through the little bit of traffic outside the carnival, you find a space in a parking lot and park. The moment you step out of the car, you hear games buzzing and children laughing. John comes around the car and stands next to you while you get your bag, and he smiles when you look up at him.
Gently placing his hand on your waist, he pushes you up against the side of the car and leans down to kiss you. He kisses you softly a few times before he leans up to look at you, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Let’s go have some fun,” he whispers, and you bite your lip as you nod before he holds your hand and leads to towards the bright lights.
__
You’re not sure why you’re so nervous. Tonight has been amazing. John seemed like he had fun, you couldn’t stop laughing, and it was just a good night. But now that you’re heading to the next surprise for John--that you know he’ll like--you’re still nervous. You turn into the parking lot and inhale deeply, glancing over at John when he realizes you’re at a hotel.
A smile tugs at his lips as he looks over at you, “A hotel?”
“Yeah,” you pull up to the valet and shrug, “Bad idea?”
“Great idea.” he smiles, leaning over to kiss you. “You have a bag packed?”
You gesture over your shoulder to the bag in the backseat, then you get out and let the valet take the car. John holds the bag in one hand and reaches out for yours, and he smiles when you link fingers with his.
“Under our name?” he asks, and you nod your head, smiling at him--you like when you’re reminded that you share a last name. “Thought maybe Veronica was showing up.”
You scoff, then you smile at him, “Nope, tonight it’s just me. Sorry to disappoint.”
“Never a disappointment,” he whispers to you, leaning closer, “Definitely a preference.”
“Veronica?”
John laughs, “No, you! You’re the preference.”
After getting your room key and riding up to the elevator, you head up to your room with butterflies in your stomach. You’re so damn nervous! You just really hope John likes this.
John unlocks the door and holds it open for you, and you turn around and watch his reaction as he takes in the room. The lights are dim and there’s rose petals on the bed in the shape of a heart. There’s a platter of food on the nightstand, along with a bottle of champagne.
“I like the heart,” John says, pointing at it.
“I wanted them to write ‘fuck me until I can’t remember my name’, but I didn’t think the hotel would allow that.” you laugh nervously as John looks at you. “So, I just settled for a heart. I hope you don’t mind.”
You absolutely wanted to set the mood, get all dolled up, put on some nice lingerie, but it doesn’t look like that’s what is going to happen. John is holding your gaze and walking closer to you, and you instantly fall into his arms, kissing him deeply as he brings you over to the bed and lays you down. He only pulls away from your lips to get his shirt off and yours, then he’s back to kissing you again. His hands are in your hair, on your neck and shoulder, then down to your ass and hips, greedy for every inch of you.
John fumbles with the button on his jeans while you shuck off your shorts and underwear, then you move up the bed more and reach for him, pulling him back to you and letting out a soft moan when you feel his warm skin against yours.
“I want you so bad,” he whispers, biting and kissing your neck, “Fuck, I want you so bad.”
“Please,” you whisper against his temple, “I’m all yours, John.”
John moves up more and bends your knee for a better angle, then he jerks his hips and buries himself deep inside of you with a groan. You dig your nails into his arms and arch your back, and he moans in the crook of your neck as he thrusts his hips at just the most perfect pace.
“Oh, fuck, you’re so wet,” he groans in your ear, “You feel fucking fantastic.”
“So do you,” you reply with a smile on your face, “I’ve missed this.”
John sits up so he can watch himself and uses his arm to wipe the sweat off his face before he reaches down, using his thumb to rub circles on your clit. You bite your lip and smile as you close your eyes, and you hear John let out a small laugh.
“You look very pleased, Mrs. Wick.”
“I am very pleased,” you say as you sit up to meet his lips, then you push him over to lay on the bed before crawling over to straddle his waist, “You?”
John groans as you slide down the length of him, “Me as well. Very pleased.”
Sitting up straight on John, you roll your hips and hold his gaze. When you move your hips rhythmically, John clenches his jaw and closes his eyes for a brief moment before watching you again, his pupils blown with lust.
“You look so beautiful right now. Fuck, I love your body.” he whispers as he reaches up to caress your breasts, his eyes scanning your every inch.
“Holy shit, I’ve been waiting so long for this.” you say with a little laugh, and he smirks with pride. You lay down on top of him and smile when he places his hands on your ass and guides you on top of him, “Oh, fuck, John.”
John gathers your damp hair and moves it out of your face so he can see you, and you hold his gaze as your body begins to tense up. You open your mouth to moan but nothing comes out, so he gently wraps his hand around your throat and holds your gaze.
“Let me hear it,” he whispers, nodding his head, “Let it out.”
You squeeze your eyes shut and moan loudly as you ride out your orgasm, rocking your hips fast and hard on top of him. He holds your waist and bites his lip, watching you in awe as you throw your head back. Your fingers dig into his pecs as you hold on tight to him before you collapse onto his chest, still moaning and panting loudly.
“Lay on your stomach, baby.” John whispers, helping you back onto the bed--he knows your legs are jello. You lay down on the bed and close your eyes, and you smile when he crawls on top of you and slowly slides back between your legs, causing you to grip the sheets and moan. He leans down and rubs his beard against your back, and you squirm away as you laugh. “Can you come for me again?”
You look over your shoulder at John and smile, “You know I can.”
John lightly grabs a fistful of hair and tilts your head back so you can see him, and he presses a kiss to your forehead before he begins to fuck you from behind. Your eyes roll shut as he pounds into you, and you moan his name loudly. You’re both covered in a thin layer of sweat, so your bodies are slick against one another, and you reach for his arms and pull them around you.
“Feels so good,” John whispers against your cheek, “Feels so fucking good, baby.”
“I love you,” you whisper to him, looking into his eyes.
John presses a kiss to your cheek and holds your gaze, “I love you too.”
Panting loudly in your ear, John thrusts his hips harder, knocking the breath out of you as a result. The room fills with the sound of his hips against your ass, along with your moans and the bed squeaking--absolute music to your ears. John groans loudly into your shoulder, then he holds you tighter to him before he jerks his hips a few times sporadically while you roll your hips, riding out another orgasm.
“Oh, shit…” John breathes into your hair, then he kisses the top of your head. “Am I crushing you?”
“Nope,” you lay down and smile as you hold him in place, “I love it.”
John chuckles, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m so perfect right now,” you hum as John sucks on your neck, surely leaving before little love bites. “So fucking perfect.”
“I’m gonna get off of you. I’m worried I’m hurting you.” he says, and you frown when he rolls off to lay on the bed. “What? I didn’t want to hurt you!”
You pout, “You weren’t. I liked it!”
“You’re too cute for your own good, you know that?” he laughs as he leans over to kiss you, “I am so weak for you.”
“And I for you.” you reply, grinning like an idiot. You sit up and pinch John’s cheek, then you scoot off the bed to clean yourself up. You quickly use the bathroom and walk back out to find John still laying in the same place watching you. “That was nice.”
John opens his arms and waits for you to crash against his chest, “It was very nice. Just hoping we don’t go that long again.”
“Me too,” you look up at him and shrug, “I know it was my fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault, baby.”
You shake your head earnestly, “It was. I wasn’t initiating anything, and I think that hurt your feelings. You should feel like your wife wants you--she definitely does!”
John holds tight to you as he scoots up to rest with his back against the headboard, “A few weeks ago, I came into the bedroom and started…kissing you, but you weren’t in the mood. I wasn’t mad. If you’re not in the mood, you’re not in the mood. I’m a grown man. I can accept when you’re not in the mood and I’m not going to get upset at you for that. But I will admit, it did hurt a little. Because I tried again a few nights later, only to be shut down again.”
“You know it wasn’t about you, right?”
“I do,” he nods, then he shrugs, “But it still hurt. I had been shut down twice, so I just decided that I’d wait for you to initiate something. Then you didn’t.”
“To be fair…”
John laughs, “Okay, to be fair, we do have a daughter and we’ve been really busy lately. I’ll give you that.”
“But we should always be able to make time for one another. If we can’t do that, our marriage will suffer and I don’t want that at all. I don’t want to lose you or what we have.” you sit up and pull the blanket over your chest, “I guess this kind of stuff just happens though.”
“It does,” he nods his head, “It’s natural to have a little dip in that, especially with a baby. I talked to Jimmy about it.”
“I talked to Tess and Amanda about it. They’ve both gone through this,” you reach over for John’s hand and smile at him, “I’m glad we’re able to talk about it though without emotions getting high or one of us getting upset with the other. I’m sorry that I made you think I wasn’t attracted to you. I hope you never feel that way because it’s not true.”
Looking down at your wedding ring, John nods before he looks at you, “Why didn’t you try anything with me though?”
“Honestly…” you start to laugh, cheeks burning, “I’m terrified to be rejected by you. I think I’d die from embarrassment.”
John scrunches his face up, “Why would I ever reject you, mouse?”
“Well, I don’t know! Sometimes people just aren’t in the mood.”
“Trust me,” he pulls you closer, “I am always in the mood for you.”
You shake your head, “That’s not true. You turned me down before.”
“I have never!” he laughs as you lay down and pull him on top of you, “I could never turn down a chance to be with my favorite girl, my peach.”
“So, you were gonna surprise me with the carnival tomorrow?”
John’s cheeks turn red, “Yeah, but you beat me to it. And on top of it, you planned this.”
You look around the hotel room, “I thought a change of scenery would be good or something.”
“I don’t need a change of scenery to want to have sex with you. I just need you. I don’t even need a bed.” he whispers against your lips, “I just need you. I can fuck you anywhere.”
John kisses you tenderly before sliding his tongue into your mouth and moaning softly. You suck on his tongue and reach for his hand, then you slide it down to between your legs, moaning when he begins to slide two fingers knuckle deep. Searching under the blankets for him, you smile when you feel him growing hard, and you stroke him slowly.
“I just need you, baby. Anytime you want me, I’m yours,” he whispers, and you hum, “No bed? That’s okay. In public? That’s cool with me too.”
You laugh as you squint your eyes open to look at him, “Is that a hint?”
“It would have been very cool to have had my hand down your shorts on the ferris wheel.” he admits, and you start to laugh. “I mean, as long as we were stuck at the top for a few seconds. And I only need a few seconds, don’t I?”
Your eyes roll shut when John pumps his fingers in and out slowly, “Yeah.”
“Tomorrow night?”
“Yeah,” you moan loudly, and John laughs as he leans down to suck your neck.
__
The morning and afternoon were spent in the hotel room with room service and lots of sex. It was fucking amazing. John was amazing and so sweet, then he was very dominating and sexy. It was so hot. It was everything you wanted and everything you missed these past few weeks. There was so much intimacy that you’ve been craving.
You finally got out of bed and showered, then you ate something. John hopped in the shower while you got ready, but you don’t know what the plan even is for today. You planned on just going back home, but John had plans for you today and that was the carnival.
“So, wait, what are we doing today?”
John lounges out on the bed next to you, “What do you want to do?”
“I dunno,” you say, shrugging bashfully, “I just wanna hang out with you.”
“Then let’s just hang out,” he reaches over and places his hand on your thigh, “There’s tons of shops around here. We could do some damage on the bank account.”
You laugh as you lean over to kiss him, “That we could. I do need to get some new outfits for Ro. She’s getting way too big.”
“Need new outfits for you?” he asks, and you start to laugh.
“You’re the only guy that I know who willing goes with their wife shopping.”
John grins, “Maybe I have ulterior motives.”
“Oh, I know you do.” you start to laugh as he pulls you closer, “But if I’m honest…my legs hurt.”
“I’ll take it as a compliment,” he grips your leg and tries to pull you on top of him, and you let him. He groans playfully when you lay on top of him, then he mocks what you said last night, “I’m so perfect right now.”
You playfully swat his arm, “Are you mocking me?”
“You do feel really good on top of me,” he smiles, leaning up to kiss you, “Very good.”
“Alright, Wick.” you get up and reach for his hands to pull him to sit up, “Let’s go.”
John pouts with his big brown eyes, “I wanna stay here now.”
“Jonathan Charles,” you tug his hands but he pulls you back between his legs, “We got the hotel for another night, Ro is with Tess again. We still have one more night here.”
“I got a taste of you last night and I want more,” he whispers, and you start to laugh, “Feels like it’s been forever.”
You jut out your bottom lip and lean down to kiss him, “I know, but we can come back here and spend the rest of the night in bed. Maybe sneak in a little nookie somewhere today.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“I think so,” you back away from him and turn around to get your bag, and he rushes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.
John kisses your neck and smiles against your skin, “I accept the challenge.”
__
To say that John was trying to pull you into every shop to find an empty fitting room would be an understatement. He looked everywhere for one. He’s taking this whole challenge so seriously, it’s genuinely very funny. With the carnival near, it’s brought in a lot of people for shopping, so there wasn’t anywhere for him to take you, but you’ve found a shop that isn’t entirely busy.
As soon as you step inside, you look over at John and see him looking around the place. It seems like he’s given up on the whole challenge, but when you tug his hand and tilt your head a little, he grins and leans over to kiss you.
“I have to find something to try on.”
“Hello!” a woman walks over with a huge smile on her face, “Can I help you find anything?”
You smile back at her, “Dragged my husband along to help me pick out something.”
“Oh, we have so many new things around here. Take a look!” she says, then she walks over to help someone with something.
John grabs a shirt off the rack that is very much not your size, then he takes your hand and rushes off to the back as you laugh. He opens the door and pulls you inside, and you cup his face and kiss him while he locks the door. He pushes you up against the wall and kisses down your neck before he kneels in front of you, immediately lifting your dress up. He kisses your thighs and pulls your underwear to the side, and you rest your leg over his shoulder, smirking at him when he looks up at you.
Thankfully the music is loud in the dressing room so no one can hear John between your legs right now--he hums like he’s eating the best meal of his life. You have your hands pressed to your mouth to conceal your moans, but you know that you’re not being completely quiet.
You reach down and tug on John’s hair to try and pull him away as you begin to climax, but he gently removes your hand and pins it to your side. Your body shakes as your eyes roll shut, and you slowly slide down the wall until you’re sitting in front of John.
He chuckles quietly and leans down to kiss you, “Good?”
“So…good. Kind of pisses me off how fast you can make me come though.” you laugh, then you reach forward and unbutton his jeans, “Your turn.”
John immediately stands up and checks the lock, then he looks down at you and smiles. You tug his jeans down a little until they fall to his ankles, then you pull his boxers down and bite your lip when his cock comes into view, hard and wet with a little pre-cum.
“God, you’re so gorgeous,” you whisper as you take him into your hand, then you stroke him and meet his gaze, “Genuinely have missed having you in my mouth.”
“I’ve missed being in your mouth,” he says a little impatiently.
You cock up your brow, “Are you being impatient, John Wick?”
“A little,” he admits, and you lean forward to press your lips to his cock. “More, please. Please, I need more.”
Kissing along the length of him, you look up at him and smile with your eyes as he watches you closely. You finally give in and open your mouth to take him in, and he tilts his head back and moans softly. You bob on him for a few moments, and he places his hand on your head and creates a rhythm that elicits a louder moan. He places both hands on your head and bites his lip as he guides you on his cock, and you place your hand on his stomach and lean back to catch your breath.
Using your hand, you wipe the spit off your chin and take him into your mouth again since you know he’s getting close. The muscles in his legs tense up as you take him into your mouth deeper, feeling him in your throat, and you gag a little before leaning back and stroking him.
“I’m gonna come…” he whispers as he places his hand on the wall to keep himself upright, then he groans and looks down at you, “I’m gonna come, baby.”
You stroke him and take him back into your mouth, then you look up at him and stick your tongue out as he comes. You close your eyes and swallow, which makes John moan again.
“Here…” John hands your purse to you and gets out the water, “Drink this.”
You start to laugh as you stand up, taking the water from him, “Thanks. I didn’t need it but thanks.”
John looks so damn pleased with himself as he watches you take a few sips of water, then he fixes your dress and kisses your cheek before he pulls his pants back on. You both look at each other and laugh quietly, and he pushes you against the wall again and kisses you deeply.
“I fucking love you so much,” he whispers, cupping your face in his left hand, “You are the woman of my dreams.”
“I believe you’ve said that before, and I’m pretty sure it was after I sucked your dick in public.”
John starts to laugh, “Probably, but it’s still true. Even without all this, you’re still the woman of my dreams. I’ll never understand how the hell I got so damn lucky.”
You close your eyes and laugh as he kisses your neck, and you slip your hands under his shirt and lightly scratch his back, those unfortunate scars are still there. You tilt your head back against the wall and smile when he looks at you.
“You are the woman of my dreams, no matter what though, peach. You know that. You know how crazy I am about you.” he whispers, and you nod, “No one will ever take me away from you. I’ve never wanted someone this much. I’ve never loved someone like this before. If I lost you, I would be devastated. I don’t think I’d ever be able to come back from that loss.”
Tears fill your eyes as you look down, but John tilts your chin back up so he can see you. He smiles softly and kisses you, and you feel the warm tears spill down your cheeks when you close your eyes. John’s hand slides up your chest and into the top of your dress where he caresses your breast.
You jump when there’s a knock on the door, and you widen your eyes and press your hand to John’s mouth. He immediately furrows his brow.
“Occupied.”
“Oh, yeah, I was just coming to check on you.”
You look at John and widen your eyes, “It’s the lady.”
“Obviously,” he whispers, and you bite your lip.
“I’m just deciding if I like this shirt,” you lie, and John starts to laugh when he looks down at his hand on your breast, “I’ll be out in a moment.”
You move to the door and open it a little to peek out, and when you see her turn the corner, you look back at John to make sure he’s decent, then you shove him out.
“I’ll meet you outside,” you say as he grins and leans in to kiss you, “Go!”
John puts his hands up and laughs as he walks off, completely pleased with himself. You put the shirt back on the hanger, then you slip out and sneak past the woman while she’s helping someone else. John is standing on the sidewalk outside smiling at you as you walk out, and he opens his arms and kisses you as you both start to laugh.
“That was fun,” he whispers in your ear, and you nod your head.
You lean back to look at him, “Are we back to where we were before?”
“We are,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “We never left. We just…”
“Had a little bump?”
John nods as he runs his hands down your back, “I’m never going to not want you, mouse. I can be 89 years old and not even have full function of it, and I’ll still want you.”
You start to laugh loudly, “You gonna take little pills to help you?”
“If I have to, but something tells me I won’t,” he moves his hands down lower to rest on your ass, “You’re getting better and better every year, baby. I want you so much more now than I ever have before, and that’s saying something.”
“I think you’re the sexiest you’ve even been, which, yeah, is saying something because you were soooo sexy when we met,” you lean up to kiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I love you.”
John’s brown eyes glow in the sunlight as he looks at you, “I love you more.”
“Never!” you tease as you back away from him, only to be pulled back to him. “Kind of thirsty now.”
“I bet,” John smirks as he takes your hand.
Crossing the street, you hold tight to his hand and smile as you look around to take in the view of the carnival from a distance. It’s near the beach, so you’re hoping that you can get some ice cream and go sit in the sand for a bit. Ronan would love this.
“We should have brought Ro.” John says like he’s reading your thoughts. He looks over at you and shrugs, “I know this was just for us, but she would love this.”
“I was thinking that too.” you nod, then you notice a sign about the carnival, “Well, look it’s here all week. We could bring her tomorrow or something.”
John smiles, “Yeah, we should. You got plans?”
“Uh,” you tap your finger to your chin, “I think tomorrow morning I’m busy.”
“Oh?” he furrows his brow, and you start to grin as he looks at you. He chuckles and nods, “Oh.”
You shrug playfully, “Just need some time alone with my handsome husband.”
“Oh, well, we can definitely arrange that!”
Holding hands with John, the two of you continue to walk towards the carnival. You don’t plan on going into it right now, but there are a ton of booths all around. John squeezes your hand reassuringly and suggests that the two of you grab some food from one of the booths, and you agree and start to scan the booths for something that looks good. There are so many options, from cotton candy to funnel cakes to hot dogs. You finally spot a booth selling fresh lemonade and decide that's what you're in the mood for, so John orders two cups and hands one to you.
“Heartburn later, for sure,” John says, and you laugh quietly. He nods towards an open bench, so you walk with him through the crowd to get to it. John quickly turns around and blocks you, “Rachel is here.”
You furrow your brow, “What?”
Leaning around, you spot Rachel walking towards you, and you scrunch your face up and look at John. You glance at her again and see her looking directly at you as she walks over.
“She’s coming over.” you say, and John sighs loudly before he turns around and looks at her. He reaches for your hand and holds tight to it, the two of you a united front.
“Hello, John.” she says, and you roll your eyes. “Did your wife tell you what she did to me?”
John nods, “I am aware that she fired you. She had every right.”
“Well, I talked to a lawyer, so…”
You start to laugh, “You did not. And if you did, there’s nothing they can do. You were incredibly rude to me. You were planning on being inappropriate with my husband, who is your boss, and before you forget, I am your boss as well. John and I own the shop together. I felt your behavior wasn’t appropriate, so I fired you because that is my right.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t even talk to John about it first! I thought you were this great team.”
“You have disrespected and belittled my wife, and I won’t allow that. I’ll admit I was wrong for even letting you interview for the job, because it’s clear you weren’t a good fit. Not for the shop and not into our lives. Y/N is the smartest, kindest, and most genuine and beautiful person I’ve ever met. You can’t even compare to that.” John says, and you look up at him, “She is the most important person in my life and I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect her. She fired you, and I agree with it.”
“Wow.”
John shrugs, “She’s the only woman for me. There was never any competition either. It was her from the moment I laid eyes on her--she was the only one I wanted. I won’t apologize for falling in love with her either. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Rachel rolls her eyes, “Whatever. I don’t even care.”
“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have slithered out of no where to try and steal John from me.” you say, and she glares at you, “If you continue going after married men, or men who just don’t want you, then you’re going to live a really miserable and lonely life. I suggest you take time to focus on yourself and figure out why you are the way you are.”
Rachel scoffs and looks at John, “You’ll let her talk to me like that?”
“I’m not the boss of her,” he says as he looks down at you, smiling with pride, “She can say whatever she wants.”
You look at Rachel and smile as smug as possible, and she rolls her eyes before pushing past you, hitting you with her bag.
“Hey,” John calls out to her and she looks at him, “Don’t ever pull shit like that again. I never want to hear my wife say your name again, so stay away from us.”
Rachel gulps and nods her head before she hurries off. John can absolutely be scary when he needs to be. You’re pretty sure Rachel got the point this time. John exhales loudly and shakes his head as he looks down at you.
“You stood up for me.”
“I should have done that a very long time ago,” he admits, shaking his head a little, “I’m sorry I never stood up for you.”
You tilt your head back to look at him, “Thank you.”
John cups your face and kisses you tenderly, and you pull him closer until he’s flush against you.
“Remember that hotel room we have?”
John nods, brushing his nose against yours, “Yes.”
“I think we need to use it one more time before we head home.”
“I got a better idea,” he says, looking over the top of your head.
You look over your shoulder at the ferris wheel and laugh before looking back at him, “You cannot finger me while we’re going round and round on a ferris wheel, Wick.”
John reaches into his wallet and smiles, “100 bucks goes a long way.”
“So what? We’re gonna just sit at the top while you do it?”
“Yeah,” he grins, “No one can see us up there.”
Laughing quietly, you shake your head, “It’s literally three in the afternoon!”
“Come on,” John smiles, pulling you closer.
You look back at the ferris wheel and laugh, then you look at John, “Well, we’ve always been pretty spontaneous.”
“And nothing says spontaneity like that.”
“You did stick up for me…” you say, and John nods his head as he smiles, “And that was pretty hot.”
John digs a one hundred dollar bill from his wallet and holds it up, “Shall we?”
A smile tugs at your lips as you look at him, then you burst into laughter and hold hands with him as the two of you rush through the crowds for the ferris wheel.
__
taglist: @sakurachan-9 @beingnerdyissupercool @tnu-ree @ruby-octo @scream-queen-25
i feel like i might be missing people from my taglist, so let me know if i am!
#john wick x reader#john wick x you#john wick x y/n#john wick imagine#fic: hold my hand#hello 👋#im very tired but here's an update#i was going to end it after the ferris wheel stuff at the end#like i was going to write it but i cut it because the chapter was already long and i didn't want it to be too long#and it would literally just be more sm*t lmao#anyway i love these two i love how they talk things through#i love how much they love and respect one another#i love that john stood up for her and i love how much he loves her and cherishes her#I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok enjoy byeeeee#<3333
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not my dad not liking moral orel season 3 🤭🤭🤭that's so embarrassing for him (<- he's not wrong for feeling that way but i think it's like 60% because he doesn't like it when art gets weird and that's so so tragic for him)
#i actually think his points make sense this time. which tbqh is not normally how i feel when he criticizes smth i love#basically he was like s3 was a completely different show from the first two seasons#and he didn't like how all over the place and directionless it felt#and honestly yeah ok i can see that#personally i think the choice to broaden the focus to moralton broadly vs mostly just orel is really interesting#and it allows for different facets of their critique of fundie waspisms to extend to situations/characters orel wouldn't really be privy to#(could you imagine 'alone' with orel there? me neither)#and i personally liked them fleshing out the marginal characters. i never found that boring or like a major diversion#again they're like 11 min episodic(ish) things it's hard for them to feel like they drag on y'know#it shows a lot of ambition and i think they pulled it off really well tbh (cancellation aside)#but i will agree that the transition is a little sudden. nature is such a big moment for the series#and for orel's arc specifically but then we spend little time with orel post-nature so the tone shift doesn't#necessarily align with his realization (at least in terms of the canon timeline. ep release order does align)#it's sudden but we jump back to before the shattering. it's disorienting and i think it's kind of cool as hell#a realization like orel's in nature is gonna throw the past into question and color his life and thus the town#(bc let's face it orel is the real mayor of moralton kfhsjs) and while we've been seeing Some of moralton's ugliness#in every episode until now it's shown in full force in and post-nature (release-wise). so when the timeline jumps around#and it all feels twisted and hazy and sickening and it All Comes Back To The Hunting Trip as our point of reference#for when things are happening it makes it feel like the trip Caused this disturbance. it's almost a spatio-temporal THING#like orel IS the center of this universe. my point is it's weird and i like it a lot i think it works#but anyway i think s3 is a natural evolution of s1+2 albeit an accelerated one#and i really wish we'd gotten to see more of what s3 morel was cooking bc it was setting up some really cool stuff imo#like he hated everything w mommy censordoll x clay but it's SUCH a cool place to take their characters. freud would go crazy#moral orel#and i think if they knew where they had to end the season maybe focusing on other characters was a way to keep orel stagnant enough to like#end the finale where they needed him. maybe.#we actually DID finish it yesterday. i rewatched the finale the day before bc i was impatient but yeah 👍#now it's chapter black time >:}
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i was literally about to turn my phone off and go to bed (the podcast i was listening to was like 2 minutes away from finishing) when i got the email notification. crazy timing. thank you toby fox.
#the more i think on it the more i like the idea of us getting chapters 3 and 4 before chapter 5#cause i think it'll leave more room for speculating about stuff#like the knight's identity; i think by end of 4 we'll have much stronger evidence to go off of than we do now#but by end of 5 i think it'll be pretty obvious if not outright confirmed who they are#and i think the wait for 5-7 will be less painful than the wait for 6-7 would have been with whatever cliffhanger 5 would have left us with#considering how much the fandom has done with just chapter 2 i think 2 chapters will hold us over the rest of the way just fine#i imagine that 3+4 will be out by this time next year (at the latest december of next year) and that's very very exciting#toby fox#deltarune
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