#not having really started my transition is blocking me from so many things

[dianight]

Let's talk about transandrophobia. And by that I mean let me monologue about my findings browsing the tag and checking related blogs.

For context, most of my (second hand) interactions with it are from additions to the posts of transfeminists where random people antagonize them. Also from knowledge about how a certain user who helped popularize the term and gets referenced on posts about it (and other adjacent pawns) just happens to be a piledriver for callouts that just happen to target trans women. So you will excuse me for being biased and not going into this with a naive mindset.

And I will say that I've engaged with this in significantly more good faith than it deserves. My hope was that perhaps most people using the term were doing it out of ignorance and not malicious intent. I haven't really "counted" or done any actual note taking for this, it's more of a general observation that coalesced over a few days after I did all that digging so numbers are rough estimates and not accurate numbers. I checked about 50 pages on both "latest" and "top" on the tag, aswell as checking the recommended blogs.

Ignoring certain users who use the tag to highlight how absurd the mere concept of it is, since it's just mainly one woman having fun(?) cluttering (neutral) the tag and a few others mocking posts about it; we can roughly put the people who talk about transandrophobia in 3 groups. There is potential for overlap and I reiterate, my good faith is going to skew this toward a more positive vision than reality.

The first group are mostly trans men and a few trans women who would define transandrophobia as transphobia targeted at trans men, which is not at all what the term means nor what its history or actual use is. This group was around 30-40% of the posts, but one has to keep in mind that this was from going over the posts with the tag on their blogs. Posts that would talk about their experiences being the targets of transphobia and calling it transandrophobia.

Not to sound condescending, but getting treated differently to your cis peers (before coming out OR even knowing you are trans), pushback against your transition and toward the closet, bureaucratic hurdles and general hostility to being "the other" is not a transmasc exclusive thing and it's in fact "just" transphobia. Even the supposedly unique to trans men experience of having issues with reproductive health... also happens to trans women, it's the general transphobia of medical professionals. It manifests in different ways, that's it.

Most of the transmascs on this group seem to be under the impression that transandrophobia is an analogous term to transmisogyny that simply describes the targeted transphobia to transmascs and transfems respectively. I understand their posts and it was painful to read many of them, but ultimately what they describe is called transphobia. Most of the (few) transfems on this group were making additions in defense/support of trans men on those same previous posts.

That's as good as it gets though. I really hope the 30-40% estimate is real because the alternative is grim, and as a disclaimer I have (over time) blocked a massive amount of those users who go on posts about transmisogyny to start fights. Those hostile users are very likely to use the tag and be part of the second or third groups, which means that accounting for all the people I've blocked the first group percentage is likely to be <30%.

The second group are cryptoterfs. Or alternatively, people with ideas so bioessentialist that they are indistinguishable from cryptoterfs. I have found only two blogs that were openly "gc" and straight up interacting with open terfs, but many of them had their rethoric and semirelated posts all over and sometimes even the recommended blogs would give it away. Possibly 10% of the tag users belong to this group.

The main giveaway beyond the previous ones seems to be a really transphobic view that what trans men experience as transphobia is really just misogyny. So when they experience that misogyny as trans men it's called transandrophobia. Don't ask me what logic this is, but I've seen it repeated on their blogs so whatever is going on in their brains they seem to commonly agree that trans men are "just" experiencing misogyny. The obvious implication always, always being that trans men are women, a very transphobic idea.

There were some users who are part of the previously mentioned overlap. They will have some posts that tangentially allude at that trans men = women idea but never quite reblog or interact or expand those transphobic views. But they would also be part of the third group.

The third group are transmisogynists. No other way to put it. And I don't mean it in the casual way, we are all kind of transmisogynistic due to society and that's it; I mean it in the openly in opposition to transfeminists and actively spreading hateful and harmful rethoric kind of way. More than half the users of the tag are part of this group.

It's a key difference but a very telling one; where the first group talked about their experiences and how they are affected by transphobia (incorrectly labeling it) the third group engages in reactionary behaviors, always blaming/harassing/critizicing transfeminists posts. It's a genuinely weird feeling to see a post you agree with, along the lines of "men benefit from patriachy" and the "critique" from these users being "how dare these [insert misgendering term] insinuate that trans men are oppressing them".

Reading anything in bad faith, calls for "unity" while at the same reblogging from and interacting with known callout spearheads, honestly shocking hostility to trans women all over their posts and a general very open opposition to any transfeminist theory. Like I was genuinely speechless at some of the posts.

Literally calling random trans women transphobic. Screenshots without context to make it seem like the OP is saying the literal opposite of what she was saying. Congratulatory posts about getting people banned. Straight up callouts.

And I was hoping that the first group would be the majority, with a few bad apples and the expected bad actors.

My conclusion is very simple. Stop using the term transandrophobia. It has no good faith uses, what trans men experience is transphobia since misandry is not a real structural force and misogyny is. Most of its users are hostile to and a danger to trans women in this website, and somehow terf rethoric is generally accepted by them.

Transandrophobia doesn't exist.

[lukolabrainrot]

PSA

I am going to start posting some Wizard gems tonight. But before I start, I want to say a few things.

-You have probably wondered why I haven't been posting as much. Well, the toxicity in the fandom just got a lot for me at the end of last year, but I have been around this whole time. I LOVE to analyze things, and I have found this whole saga FASCINATING. There were also topics that I just didn't want to talk about at the time, and I didn't really know what to talk about without addressing them. But I miss posting here, and am going to transition to probably mainly posting SSs from the Wizard.

-I'm anticipating some backlash moving forward, because I haven't talked about some of these things very openly on my blog before. But I want to say now, this blog is not going to be for you if:

You are not well informed and up to date on the L/N story. I am not going to spoon feed people atp.

You don't believe L/N have been in a serious relationship BTS since February 2024 sometime. And were very likely in a relationship for the first half of 2023, and it began while they were filming Season 3.

You wholeheartedly believe L is with A (HAHH) and N is with JD (PUHLEASE 🙄)

Are not well informed about PR tactics and the celebrity world

And, you don't believe L/N had a baby in early February 2025 (yes, I said it)

I have done almost a year's worth of research now on this saga (I truly can't believe it 🙃), and I am very confident with all my thoughts atp, and will not be changing them. If you don't agree with my interpretations, you can scroll on by, unfollow, or block me. I will not be upset, and it is fine if you have a different opinion than what I am putting forth. I feel very confident about my interpretations because there are years worth of data to back it, as well as if you have knowledge of the systemic factors that are at play here. So I am not just pulling these conclusions out of my butt. If you don't agree though, fine. But do not push your counter conclusions if they are COMPLETELY different than mine. I have absolutely no problem blocking people, and my goal is to keep this page as drama free as possible.

-Lastly, we have been STEEPED in layers and layers of BS for months now (*cough cough* I am looking at you L/N's PR teams 😑👀). So my goal is to peel back some of those layers, and provide some clarity on this whole situation, and the wizard has been absolutely amazing with that for me. It has provided me a lot of clarity, and actually brought back a lot of the joy I use to have around L/N. However, it is a robot, and does get some little things wrong. I have spent HOURS AND HOURS though feeding it information about this whole saga (I had a lot of time the last few weeks lol), so it is very well versed in Lukolalore. If you don't agree though, it takes a lot less energy to just move on than to comment (and that is a fact). If you have clarification questions, totally fine! But I do not want to see my inbox or Asks blow up with people who are not happy about something a very smart robot is saying about two celebrities. Before reacting, ask yourself what you're feeling, why you're feeling this way, and why you're feeling the need to comment hateful or mean things. Trust me, there are so many better uses of your energy in this world than to spread hate online and/or troll the page of someone you do not know who is talking about two celebrities.

And on that note, I will be posting more shortly.

Cheers!!

[messrsrarchives]

last sunday i was feeling very melancholic and had spent the night on call with my nan for hourssss talking about my transition. she stayed up with me for hours, we spoke about everything from my childhood signs, to my discovery, to my exploration and starting hormones etc etc, we spoke about everything.

but really it felt a bit like a funeral, that's how she described it. she said it felt like a eulogy of what it could have been because that entire phone call started with me saying i need to Stop. she got a random message from me asking if she'd be by my side if i detransitioned, so she called me and we spoke about so many things i hadn't told her before - all of the harrassments, the comments, the friendships that ended that i've pretended haven't for years. literally everything from the stabbing attempt last year to the friend that blocked me when i posted about my first day on T.

literally my entire life in this one phone call and she ended it with "just give it one more day". there's a small dent in the wall from my phone now because,,, what an infuriating reply, right? one more day. one more day??? no, i need to make a choice now? i'm so tired of waiting for things to make sense, i did that for years and then it Did and then it all fell to pieces because even One More Day is one more than they want me to have.

and then the next afternoon i set off to go to my seminar, and i'm walking along listening to a voice note i recorded over and over and over. one to be sent to my friends so that i don't have to type it. one that said it will take a while until i look like "myself" again, and i know this makes no sense to them and i'm glad it doesn't, but that they need to stop calling me robyn. a voice note, because it's easier to say my deadname than to see it written down. i don't know, it feels more official in letters. like maybe if i hear it enough it will blend in with every other sound. and i'm listening to this over and over in the hopes that i can build up the courage to send it.

and i step onto the bridge towards class, not looking where i'm going and i walk straightttt into someone and i'm all apologetic and i'm crying from the voice note and i'm a wreck but i walked into someone else who was typing on their phone

and there's a lil trans sticker on the back of it. and i've never seen this person before ever but they adjusted my tote bag on my shoulder because i was still apologising profusely and i said "i'm sorry" and they said "me too"

and i know we were talking about the crash. i know it's not what they meant because that's not what we were talking about but. idk. it's dumb and there's probably something poetic about us stepping onto the bridge at the same time and managing to bump right into each other but all i know is that they had a trans flag sticker on their phone and they smiled and they said "me too" and,,, idk. rambling.

but sometimes it really is just one more day. that's all you need sometimes. and sometimes you have to tell yourself that everyday, and that's okay. because other times you'll literally and physically bump into another trans person and they'll say "me too" for something entirely unrelated, but it makes you feel a little less alone regardless.

anyway, i'm saved in their phone as Robyn now and i think that's pretty cool actually, we're getting lunch together soon

[korraofthereef]

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE AN EDIT OF TIMEBOMB TO “Not a lot, just forever” by Adrianne Lenker AND ILL LITERALLY GIVE YOU THE EXACT WAY TO EDIT IT I DON’F EVEN NEED CREDITS I JUST WANNA SEE IT

Not a lot, just forever

honestly this part is optional but I feel like the audio is too much of a kickstart to start with the line below

And your dearest fantasy

stick with me on this. So it’ll be Ekko heaving and conflicted in this scene:

For the entire duration of the lyrics until it’ll transition into the next set of lyrics where… (continue reading under the next lyric)

Is to grow a baby in me

it’ll tradition to Jinx’s face in that scene also for the entire duration of this set of lyrics:

Then slowly fading into the next scene of… (continue reading under the next lyric)

I could be // a good mother

(For the “I could be” part)

Isha running towards Jinx when Vi is abt to kill her (!)

(Now for the “a good mother” part)

Jinx holding onto/trying to push away Isha when held under Vi’s fist.

So the faces are like a parallel of scenes. I would have really liked for the clip shown directly above of Jinx holding Isha to come right after the scene of Jinx on the ground after fight Ekko because then the parallels would’ve matched better but the edit needed more clip transitions and more clarification so it’s kind of a must with this order. So if y’all could maybe make it very clear it’s supposed to be referencing a parallel that would be amazing (!)

And I wanna be your wife

For every syllable we’re gonna transition to a different scene with young Powder and Ekko specifically with these scenes in this order:

I tried my best to explain the syllables=scenes lmao

So I // hold you // to // my knife

(For the “so I // hold you” part)

We’ll start with the quick panning from one scene to another because the lyrics go by quick in this part of the song—so we’ll start with the scene of Jinx holding her gun during “So I” before cutting to Ekko standing there all angry during “Hold you”

(Now for the “to // my knife” part)

The reason I separated the lyric is because “to” drags on for about the same amount of time “my knife” is sang for. So it’ll be the part where Ekko is charging at Jinx with his board and stealing the hex orb thing, then quickly panning to the part where Ekko is getting the upper hand in the fight as he leaps towards Jinx.

Kind of like the first part of the entire lyric block where thy change scenes in between the double slash mark (//)

…also I know all of the clips in this part are very out of order from the actually scene in the show but it needs to be like this in order for a complete poetic masterpiece…

And I steal // your letter

(For the “and I steal” part)

Nowwwww is where Ekko will be looking up at the mural of Powder in the Firelight Base because it’s supposed to be sort of suggesting that he stole one last memory of Powder:

(Now for the “your letter” part)

This is just the second half of the explanation above. It’s just the mural y’all. And honestly, use whatever clip of the mural you want like you could use the one where it’s zoomed in on Powder’s face, or you could use the one where it’s a wide shot that captures Ekko and Vi in the frame.

This is obviously the close up on Powder on the mural,(which is preferred) but honestly if you guys are going through the trouble of making this edit then choose whatever clip for this part bc I’m eternally grateful.

Not a lot // just forever

Because I’m running out of the amount of photos I can add to a post, I’ll merge both side of the double slash lyric scene separation (//) into one photo for explanation

The top clip of young Powder and Ekko will be running for the duration of “Not a lot” and then after that lyric has passed, then the bottom scene of them fighting it out as their older selves in real time will play for the duration of the lyrics “Just forever”

Intertwine // some together

I couldn’t really choose one parallel scene from the finale fight because there’s so many so you guys just take your pick from the groups.

P.S. the scene on the top with the the one playing during “Intertwine” and the scene connected on the bottom half with be the one playing during “Some together”

(I’ll repost with the final photo bc I’m at my photo limit 😭)

ANYWHOOOOO

I was thinking that all the clips should start with high velocity and then quickly move into slow motion for the clips especially because they’re short clips and they’ll go quickly… yeah if you don’t understand what I mean, I guess what I’m trying to say is make it twixtor and then speed it up at the beginning so it’s like smoothing transitioning Ykwim??

Feel fully entitled to transition the clips however you want, you can fade into other clips for more drama idk. Just suggesting slo-mo clips because the scene are short 👍

[paper-mario-wiki]

Do you do farm stuff Scout? Or would you like to? Like owning chickens or tending an outdoor garden, that sort of thing?

From ages 7 to 19 I lived on farms, and was made to be an active participant in maintenance and usages of the facilities I don't know why the fuck I'm typing it like this, but I grew up on a farm. I was kinda in charge of everything, but slacked a lot and my brother had to cover for me. That said, I still spent a LOT of time doing chores.

At one point or another I've been responsible for most every farm chore you can really think of. All the basics like raking leaves, milking goats, collecting eggs, feeding chickens- but also the big stuff like moving tons of hay, herding flocks, caring for large animals such as llamas, alpacas, horses, and cows, as well as delivering babies, gutting and plucking fowl (only chickens and turkeys, though I've also cared for ducks and geese), dehoring, hoof cleaning, corpse transportation, crop maintenance, winter ice removal by breaking up frozen water troughs in 10 below weather (thought this was usually circumvented by anticipating the cold and setting up water heaters beforehand), constructing enclosures, slaughtering pigs, and etc etc etc etc etc all that shit. Bunnies snakes mini horses donkeys. All that shit. Farm stuff. Ya know.

Moved away when I went to college and immediately plunged into a mixed-zoning district in the Fushimi district in Kyoto. This was a really good transition from rural living to city living, because mixed zoning districts have blocks dedicated to apartment complexes and family homes right next to blocks of rice fields and ponds, which was behind the 7-Eleven I bought most of my food from.

Now I live in a SHITTY mixed zoning area in SHITTY America where we never stop hearing cars because there's a massive parking lot nearby and constant police sirens, not because the area is particularly dangerous, but because there's like 2 police stations nearby.

My ideal housing goal, which also happens to be my current goal in life, is to reach a slightly more rural version of the Kyoto living situation. The goals are very distinct:

0. I'm editing this one in after the fact to note that while I've used Kyoto as an example a few times in this post, I'm just looking for an area that feels right and would happily live in any prefecture that fits my needs.

I want to not be tied directly to a visa which would draw me away from doing whatever work I really want to do, like my student visa did later on when school started getting worse as professors were struggling to learn digital classroom mechanics. The visa I'm shooting for is dependent on a few ideas I have for businesses, but that's still kind of a long shot.

I want to be in a position of relative financial freedom so that I can spend enough time genuinely living there instead of just being tied to a computer all day, limiting me to the world I already know. This one's the big one, so I'm still workin on that. That said, recently I've been taking some pretty massive steps towards making this a more tangible circumstance. Fingers crossed.

I want to have a home that I own instead of renting, and I'd like to work with a Japanese architect to actually construct it. Again, these are big big plans, but I think a life goal is a thing worth thinking big about. And it's not like I'm trying to build a mansion, or even a family-sized house, I think I'd be content with three bedrooms, a kitchen, and common room. Of course, in keeping with the "dream big" spirit, in a world where I've got enough money to have a nicer, slightly bigger home, I can imagine as many as 5 bedrooms. It's nice to imagine in this "perfect" outcome that I've got a reason to have enough space for guests to sleep over. A local community, or an otherwise tangible, real-world web of relationships would be nice. Like, Real Adult Socializing Shit.

I want to have a significant emphasis on self-reliance on this home. As far solarpunk as I can reasonably go, without biting off more than I can chew as someone who's kinda limp-wristed. In a gay way and a feeble way. I figure this will come down to solar panels, water filtration, a well, and a garden (or at least the space to have gardening stuff like pots and soil). Some chickens would be nice too, but I don't know that I'd ever take on livestock proper.

I want to be properly submerged in trees without being more than a 5 minute bike ride from a train station. Somwhere like Yase-Hieizanguchi Station in north Kyoto is a good example of station that's on the edge of a metropolitan area and the forest. There was an apartment there I almost got, but backed out when covid hit cuz I decided moving across town would be a whack decision.

This is a BONUS goal, but I think it'd also be nice to not compromise on a single location, and instead have a home out in the inaka, while also having a small apartment rented in the city I can go between whenever I need to. In a world where I can afford a plot of land out in the country, but would still need to travel into town for business, that would be nice. Though in that scenario I'd likely need to also take on the arduous task of getting a Japanese drivers license. If I know far enough in advance that I want to take this specific route then I could bypass that last one by getting an international license before moving to Japan, but after moving to Japan you're barred from getting an international license.

I couldn't tell you in honesty that I'm a Salt of the Earth, Red Blooded American Farmer in my heart, and in fact I could not WAIT to move away from the farm. I hated that I didn't have a say in living on a farm, and was made to take care of animals. But what I DID enjoy about that life was the stillness. The opportunities of perfect silence. The stars unobstructed by light pollution. The ability to explore. Those things I was incredibly grateful for. And as such, in my perfect world, I would like to live on something like a farm again one day, just on my own terms.

[toxicpineapple]

writing tips masterpost

hello to my loyal tumblr followers... i am often asked to give writing advice but usually when people ask me this i'm nooooot completely sure what to say despite having a ton of advice to give. it's such a broad question when there are so many different things i can advise on, right? so i thought i'd make a sort of writing advice masterpost where i can compile the tips that i think people specifically in fandoms could benefit the most from hearing, OR that i wish someone had told me when i was still finding my footing as a writer.

hopefully this will be helpful to you. i am putting all of the advice under a read more since this is going to be a long one. let's roll!

✬ paragraph breaks are your friend

the fastest way to get me to stop reading a fic is if i click in and see that there are NO paragraphs made and the entire piece is in a huge block of text. no matter how good your work is, i just can't read it at that point. the giant paragraph makes me get lost, i can't focus on anything... it's a huge no.

the trick is you want your paragraphs to sort of act as a guide for your reader, taking them through the story, keeping them engaged. do not be afraid to do short paragraphs! i can understand wanting to shy away from one or two sentence paragraphs for fear of not having "enough substance" in your work, but the truth is, a thousand short paragraphs is ten times easier to read than a huge block of text.

realistically, you want to have a good amount of variety in your paragraph length. variety is key. readers will notice when your work gets formulaic, and some people will like that, but for others that can turn people away from your work. but don't force it! a paragraph should end at the end of a statement, or if the paragraph is getting too long then cut off the thought and continue in the next paragraph with a transitional phrase.

as a general rule of thumb, you want lines of dialogue by different speakers to be put in separate paragraphs. you also want to avoid doing huge chunks of narration or exposition in the same paragraph as you introduce a new speaker. just make a new paragraph! no big deal. i guarantee you your reader will be way more engaged and nobody is going to come at you for doing more rather than less.

✬ make sure the reader knows who is speaking and when

you don't have to end off every line of dialogue with "she said" and in fact i would really recommend you don't. but you ALWAYS need to have some kind of indication in the text as to who is speaking, otherwise the reader can get lost.

this doesn't necessarily mean that you always have to explicitly say who is saying what, though. if it is obvious in a scene who is saying something -- so for example, a scene where there are only two characters talking OR the dialogue has some kind of phrase, statement, etc that makes it obvious who the speaker is -- then in that case you can just let the dialogue speak for itself. sometimes in writing less can be more. you disrupt the flow of a scene if you start to exposit unnecessarily when the reader could reasonably work something out for themself.

✬ "said" is your friend too

related to the last piece of advice, here's another note: don't shy away from using the word "said".

don't overuse it, either. obviously, you don't want every single line to be "he says" "she says" back and forth, especially when they might be asking questions or shouting, in which case the word "said" probably isn't all that applicable at all. but it's a nice default. if you catch yourself busting out the thesaurus, my recommendation? quit it. just use said. it's not going to hurt you and the reader isn't going to mind.

but yeah, in the event that a character is raising their voice, whispering, inquiring -- there are tons of other words you can use in lieu of said and then an adverb. it's just context-dependent, and also, you don't really want to lean too far one way or another. like i said, variety is key. too much of the same breaks immersion.

✬ if you wouldn't say it yourself, probably don't use it in writing

another related tip. look, i get it. you want to spruce up your writing with synonyms. but the fact of the matter is that a lot of these words that "mean the same thing" on paper actually have wildly differing connotations and if you don't understand what those are you're going to look kind of silly whipping out a word you just found off the internet. we can usually tell, too.

your vocabulary will naturally grow and expand as you continue to read and learn. you don't have to try and force it to seem smarter in your writing. people who can write compelling prose and dialogue without throwing in fancy words they barely understand look a lot more intelligent than people who have a thesaurus at the ready 24/7.

✬ if there's a simpler way to say it, take it

this one can be sort of style-dependent, so if it's not your cup of tea then feel free to take or leave this tip, but in my opinion, taking a whole seven-line paragraph to describe a simple action wastes both your and the readers' time.

how many times have you read a fic where the main characters are having a conversation with these long rambling paragraphs between lines of dialogue? sometimes this makes sense! if you were writing a death note fic it would absolutely make sense for light or L to be pausing every few seconds to carefully analyse their opponent's move... but that's not always the case. sometimes characters are just making small talk.

i'm not saying you can't show off. you should show off where applicable. but there's a time and place. sometimes a scene benefits more from you taking the easy way to describe something and moving on. flowery language is great, but if you're meandering too much the reader will lose interest and attention.

✬ a metaphor is useless if nobody knows what it means

writing is subjective and highly personal. write for yourself first and foremost, and use the metaphors that feel right to you -- but the best metaphorical pieces, to me, are the ones that people can understand and identify with.

you've read a story like that, haven't you? with a reoccurring theme or motif that comes back into play at the end in a way that makes you feel so satisfied and complete? THAT'S what you aim for with literary devices like that. if you write a story that nobody can understand, with metaphors that just don't make any sense -- then you haven't really successfully told a good story, have you?

i understand wanting to have a magnum opus. i think it's easy to fall into the "misunderstood writer" mindset where you want your pieces to be so magnificent that only the likeminded will get it -- but writing is a form of communication. metaphor is just another means with which we can illustrate how we feel. you WANT your readers to understand what you're doing with the metaphors, you WANT the people who step away from your story to know what you were trying to say. you don't have to be obvious, just make it good. make it something that can be reasonably drawn from the text.

at the end of the day flowery language is just flowery language. that doesn't actually make your story good.

✬ grammar intermission

(.) period/full stop: used at the end of sentences. oftentimes not used at the end of sentences in dialogue, because lines of dialogue are considered a fragment of a larger sentence. use a period/full stop at the end of a line of dialogue if the dialogue is followed up by another complete sentence. example:

"i just went to the store," he said, scratching his head.

"i just went to the store." he scratched his head.

(,) comma: used in the middle or to separate different clauses (parts/sections) of sentences. used for incomplete clauses, AKA sections of the sentence that could not function as individual sentences. also used to indicate a slight pause. example:

she reached for the ripest banana, plucking it from the bunch.

a comma can also be replaced by a conjunction like "and" or "but". example:

she reached for the ripest banana and plucked it from the bunch.

(;) semi colon: used to separate different complete clauses in sentences, AKA sections of the sentence that are related but COULD function individually as their own sentences. example:

he sighed as he looked out the window; it had been so long since he stepped outside.

not to be confused with

(:) colon: used at the end of a line that leads into or introduces another line. example:

his fingers drummed restlessly against the window sill. it was finally happening: he was finally leaving this place.

(-) hyphen: used to connect compound words like three-years-old or hyphenated surnames like jones-smith.

(–) en dash: used to indicate ranges of time or distance, like 3–4 hours.

(—) em dash: a girl's best friend. slash j. but an em dash is used to indicate a few different things: an abrupt end to a thought or sentence, a "cut-in" where you interject something tangentially or unrelated before returning to the original thought, or a diversion in the sentence/thought. examples:

"no, listen, you don't understand—"

he scowled—an ugly look on his usually handsome features—and told her to be quiet.

it's not like she had wanted it to go that way—but when had it ever mattered what she wanted?

(()) parentheses: used to add additional context, information, or a semi-unrelated thought that would break the flow of an ongoing sentence without completely taking the reader out. example:

"no, i'm sorry. i just forgot to call you this morning," he said, looking away. (in truth, he'd sat by the phone for fifteen minutes trying to psyche himself into it, but hadn't been able to muster the courage.)

✬ show don't tell, and tell don't show

show don't tell is one of the classic pieces of writing advice that i do, often, think is correct -- but it's a little more nuanced than just never telling your readers what a character is thinking. you want the work to speak for itself without you implanting messages or themes into the reader's brain. at the same time though you don't want them to be doing too much work because it breaks immersion.

this ties into what i was saying above about simpler being better sometimes. you want to be concise especially in scenes that might call for it. a fight scene should be quick and snappy. no need to dig into the physical sensation of being enraged -- just say the character is pissed! but if a character is having a meltdown or panicking, you can get SO much more out of describing how that feels than just outright saying it.

✬ remember your perspective

another huge thing with show don't tell is that you don't want your character to be able to objectively say what everyone else is thinking and feeling -- unless that makes sense for them within the context of the story. really dig into it. DOES the character have a reason to know what their opponents, friends, etc are thinking? how well do they know the other characters? how attentive are they to the emotions of those around them?

it's better to focus on descriptions than labels in that case. say what face a character is making, describe their body language or tone. your character can have impressions, just make it clear that those ARE their impressions. and let your character be wrong! they do not have to be a completely objective source of information.

✬ when it comes to representation, if you aren't confident you can do it well, don't do it at all

i'm one of those people who's kind of of the opinion that white or cishet or otherwise systemically advantaged people have no place being the loudest voices in conversations about representation, least of all AS the representatives. if you are someone with systemic privilege and you choose to portray someone who is oppressed -- that's not necessarily a bad thing. but you need to be willing to do your research and have a sensitivity reader, and you have to be ready for people to say you did it wrong.

not much else to be said about that. your voice on the matter isn't actually all that important. there are people from the demographics involved who DO have stories to tell about themselves that will be MUCH more valuable than your perception of them, so it's honestly better to just let them tell it. that's how i feel.

✬ don't break the rules unless you know how to follow them. in other words, your rebellion should be obvious

a lot of times i see people breaking grammar or other rules and citing "stylistic" choices as their reasons why. which is all good and well, to an extent -- but you want it to be very clear that you ARE breaking the rules on purpose in a way that adds to the artistic merit of your piece.

if you don't know the rules, then it really just comes across like messy work. you both have to know how to apply the rules, and also how to break them in a stylistically significant way. if it doesn't make sense for the rules to be broken, if it says nothing... it's honestly better to just follow them. that's my take.

✬ don't be scared of names and pronouns

i said before that you want variety in your work, and that is very very true -- but it's also true that certain words like names, pronouns, etc will sort of blend into the background in writing. people don't notice them. that means if you're using a name or pronoun a lot in a scene to make it clear who exactly is being referred to...

hey. look into my eyes. breathe. it's okay. you do not have to resort to highlighting arbitrary characteristics of the characters. i know. just breathe. it's okay. use their names. they have them for a reason. it's all good.

this isn't to say that you SHOULDN'T do that, just do it when it makes sense to. if height is something the characters are noticing then use "the shorter boy". if age is relevant, eye colour, hair colour, whatever -- go ahead and use them. but don't be excessive with it. i should not be having to read the bluenette more than i'm reading shuichi's actual goddamn name.

✬ read

this is the huge one. reading other works informs your writing. it teaches you skills and tricks you can use. it helps expand your dialogue and your world view. it might even highlight to you things you do too much of in your own writing. read, all the time, whenever you can. it doesn't have to be books. it can be fanfic, articles, whatever -- just keep reading, because you will be passively absorbing knowledge during that time and it'll help you grow as a writer.

✬ practice

BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO! SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID IT!

but listen, it's literally just true. i write almost every day for at least a couple of hours and i have been on a trend of consistent growth for the past five years. go read my fics from 2019 if you don't believe me. i've grown fast and i've grown constantly. you just DO grow through constant practice, even if it doesn't always seem that way.

not only that, but you start to build confidence too. writing a lot helps develop those muscles to a point where you start to realise that you ARE that good and you DO have that dawg in you. or whatever. you just have to keep at it. you're not going to magically improve thinking for six months about how you want to be a better writer without practicing anything about it.

✬ yeah, betas are good

you want to have a good editor. i know that that can feel like having someone ELSE be the reason your piece is good, but that's genuinely not it. a beta reader is a second pair of eyes on your work, someone who can tell you about the issues and mistakes you're missing. they'll tell you when something doesn't make sense. they'll point out your punctuation errors. you don't NEED to have a good editor for every crummy little oneshot... but it's good to have one.

✬ numbers are fine and all but don't compare yourself to other people

i think almost everyone in some kind of creative pursuit wants to get some kind of acknowledgement for it. we want to be the best we can be, and it can be discouraging to receive utterly no validation along the way! i get it!!

just don't get caught up in crunching the numbers. you are not as good as your fanbase is. you alone know your skillset and you absolutely should not say "well this other writer got THIS much attention" because that'll just wear you down. it really will. external validation will only keep you going for so long, and you'll always end up needing more. you HAVE to build your own personal confidence first or you'll crash and burn.

✬ read your writing out loud

there is no quicker way to see if something is wonky in your prose than reading it out loud and seeing if it makes sense verbally. i highly recommend this to anybody who struggles with sentence flow. it's a good one.

✬ yippee hooray!

🥰 and that's what i've got for now. thank you if you made it this far, please take all these tips as you will, it is all subjective of course, these are just the tips that help Me the most when i sit down to write something.

please feel free to ask me for additional advice (on specific topics if you could!) at any time, i love encouraging new writers and i am passionate about writing so i will gladly offer support in any way i can, including beta reading works for anybody who might need that.

take care now 💖

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[seajessdraw]

Castoff fanart megapost!!

The comic's 10th anniversary was this month and I so badly wanted to do something for it, but life timing just did not work in my favor this year, so here's a little sneak peak at my 10th Anniversary poster wip. Not sure when I'm going to finish, but it will be done at some point! I'm really taking my time with this one because with a piece that big, I want it to be something I feel really good about so I can print it and put it on my wall. Lines are the hardest part for me, so I'm really trying to refine them so I feel confident during inking. I've been wanting to draw the full cast of characters pretty much since I started reading the comic. I've drafted up SO many compositions (seriously, I have like 5 pages of thumbnails for this guy). This one is finally one I'm super happy with. I adore older movie posters with big headshots and environment (think 1980s, Star Wars, Stranger Things, etc) and I feel like this one really fits that vibe!

Everything else was all from the start of 2024! I'll go more into it when I finish that poster, but this comic has truly changed my life in such an amazing way. I have SO much art of all these kiddos, there's no way I can fit it into one post. You guys like unfinished sketches too right? Bc I have soooo many of those too. It's really fun seeing how much the way I draw has changed in just a year or two.

Plus a quick life update from me:

I've been training for some new work at my job (which I am extremely excited for) but since it's a physical role, I've not only been incredibly busy with the extra hours, I've also been more tired and a bit sore. I've also been busy with family visiting, a broken computer and add an unfortunate art block onto that and yeah I haven't really drawn anything in the past few weeks. I've been trying to not force myself to draw anything and catch up on some video games. I might try a new medium or working on something small to help get my spark back.

I've also been slowly getting more and more tired of posting my art on Instagram and Twitter, so I'm deciding to migrate over to other platforms! I'm going to start posting any older work that's only on Instagram, on other platforms. I've even been going through a myriad of my older work resizing, updating my watermark, glazing/nightshading my finished work, and making little fixes here and there.

Once I get through my backlog of reposts and older work, I'm hoping to start transitioning my "brand" a bit. I am trying to start selling my work online (stickers, buttons, and maybe some prints) and while I enjoy making fanart, I want to try and push out of my comfort zone and draw more original work like layouts and characters. I'm in that phase of my art career where I just don't know what I want to do and I would like to explore my options (in terms of drawing/practicing new things) while I have a stable job.

If you read all that, thanks so much for listening to my tangent! Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

[avalynlestrange]

Already Over

Fred Weasley x Reader

Reader: she/her pronouns

Warnings: implied smut, exam season, not proof read again haha, unrequited love or mutual pining?, profanity

Category: One-Shot, Songfic, Friends with Benefits, AU without Voldy.

Summary: In which you can’t close the door on Fred when you still need the closure.

Sneak Peak: None :P

Author’s Note: I needed this done and over with T_T As much as I love this song it’s becoming sickening to listen to. 

Word Count: 3301

To The Library (fic masterlist) To The Kitchen (WIPs) To emails i can't send fwd: Anthology To more Fred Weasley

You’ve been talking for hours about how you shouldn’t talk for hours on end. Sitting on the floor of an empty corner of the library with candy and homework surrounding you. The recent topic of your chatter however is not the current herbology books you are required to read but how you needed to stop this situationship you have going on.

“It’s just so easy with you.” Fred laughs. He runs his fingers through his hair and you wish it could be your hands but you restrain yourself. You are trying to end things after all.

Fred chucks a jellybean at you. You catch it with your mouth. Immediately you spit it out and reach for the fizzy fig juice. 

“That’s disgusting. Tasted like sweaty socks,” You grimace after chugging down half the bottle.

“What do you mean you love sweaty socks!” He wiggles his feet near your face. You push his leg away causing his body to swivel. 

“Get your feet away from me!”

Fred smoothly transitions from his almost fall back to a sit up position. His legs in front of his stocky frame. Merlin how you adore his body.

“Shut up! You love all this,” and he wiggles himself.

You’re not very good at lying. Especially to Fred, so you only roll your eyes as a response. 

“For reals though,” you brace yourself, “We really should stop this.”

“But we’re doing so well!” Fred pouts; he gestures to the work laying around you. Both of you completed your charms essay and you celebrated with many a kiss.

“You know that’s not what I mean!” You kneel and start clearing your side of the space. This had become a frequent meeting place for the two of you. It used to be three of you but George disappears with Angelina for a few months now.

Fred grabs your wrist. You gently stumble on top of him as he guides you to straddle him. He locks his hands in yours and pulls you near his face. You would have blushed a couple months ago but you are used to this close proximity.

“But we are doing so well,” he whispers in your ear.

And now you are kissing after a conversation about how you’d probably be better off as friends. Grasping at his ginger locks, you push him further to deepen the kiss.

His hands leaves a hot trail as they roam your body, clasping and squeezing. When your shirt rides up to uncover your back, Fred without hesitation takes the opportunity to slide and touch the your skin. It’s all you could think about. The initial burn you feel upon the contact ignites your whole body.

You moan on his lips. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale and you’re submerged again in the shared passion between you. Drowning all thoughts of ceasing the very thing you are doing.

Suddenly, you hear George cough and say it’s nearly curfew causing you break apart. You share a smile and fix each others hair. 

“Same time here next weekend?” Fred winks.

As you bring yourself to stand, you say, "We won't do this again.”

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

You say, “I’m done.”

“You’ve barely eaten anything off your plate!” Harry exclaims, trying to pick off your plate. You block his fork with yours.

“That’s not what I meant. Hands of my pudding!” You shove a piece in your mouth to prove your point.

“What you’re leaving school or something?” Ron asks through a mouth full of roast chicken.

“I don’t think that’s what she means either Ron.” Ginny replies.

“Oh is this about my brother again? Honestly you two need to sort yourselves out;” Ron wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Yeah you two should just admit you like each other. You think you’re being sneaky but we all know it.” Harry states.

It’s not like you don’t know you like each other but Fred doesn’t seem to want a serious relationship. Before you he would date different girls every weekend. You settle for friends… with benefits. You admit that you did try to keep it a secret at first, in order to not make it weird for others around you. But you did a poor job after the second week when Fred snogged you in the Quidditch tent post game thinking everyone had gone back to the castle. Everyone found out when Ron screamed so loudly. Since then you’ve tried to swat questions about the two of you.

“Oh bog off both of you!” Ginny shoos them off as if to physically remove them from the conversation. “Never mind them. They’re a few sandwiches short of a picnic when it comes to relationships.”

“Oi!” But Ron returns to his food when Hermione glares.

“Do you really want to be done? Don’t you want to tell him how you feel?” Hermione asks.

“I do. I don’t… but I’m still confused. I just don’t think I can take anymore of being ‘just friends’,” You air quote.

“How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure? I just need to figure out how to say it to him,” You push away your plate so that you can slump yourself on the desk.

Hermione grabs hold of your shoulders to sit you up and says, “Come on. It’s nearly time for class.”

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

Fred keeps tabs on you on the corner of his eye. You’re stood outside your class and a Ravenclaw leans on the wall talking to you. He can’t pinpoint the name of this classmate of yours but Fred wishes he could throw a jinx their way when they brush a way a strand of hair on your face. A means to flirt with you. Fred curses under his breath.

A sudden surge of emotion runs through his veins and he unexpectedly makes his way over to you without thinking it through. The only thought in his mind is that Ravenclaw and your lips locking and he wants to squish that idea out of yours and his head.

Selfishly he doesn’t want to give you time to be on someone else's lips. He tugs you away despite your protest about the next lesson starting soon. 

Next you’re behind a curtain with a secret passage. You halt a few steps in. What reason did he have to bring you here and skip third period?

“What’s wrong? Did something hap-“ Your questions were cut off when his lips crash onto yours. It reminds Fred of the first time you were in this secret passage alone.

It was during the 2 weekends before the O.W.L.’s exams. You were very stressed out studying in the library. You had gone back to your dorm to pick up a few snacks for the group. George went along with you but all three of you knew it was because he was looking for Angelina.

Staring at the pages of the charms textbook, Fred’s mind and heart started to race. All the exams were within the whole of next week and results were the Friday in the week after. So you all only had 9 days before your first exam. 

Nothing seemed to stick that afternoon and you were taking a long time to return. Fred skimmed through practice questions. Who even was Felix Sumerbee? To the present day, he still doesn’t know. And he remembers he certainly knew the charm for unlocking doors and chains but what was the incantation for the locking spell?

He closed the textbook as you decided it’s best for you to take a break. Fred scribbled a note and left it on your desk that he was going to the transfiguration courtyard for some fresh air. 

At 6pm in June the sun was still shining but weather in Scotland can be unpredictable so by the time you reached the courtyard, the sky drizzled small drops. He sat on a bench not minding the wetness of the rain. It distracted him from the fact he needed to go back to studying soon. 

“Catch!” He heard a person say from a close direction and dodged just in time when he realised something was dangerously close to hitting his face.

“I’m so sorry. Thought you’d be quick to get that,” You said as you sat next to him; picked up the sweet on the floor and offered it to Fred.

He quickly unwraps the candy and popped it in his mouth.

“Thanks.”

You both sat there quietly, contemplating about the future ahead. He didn’t know where it was heading but it’ll all be okay since he had you and George. Fred remembers you not noticing his stare until the rain starts to pour down.

“Let’s go!” You grabbed his hand, dragging him inside. However, when you reached indoors, Fred doesn’t stop running until you reach one of the secret passageways.

“Lumos!” You recited, then placed your wand on one of the crooks of the wall.

He leaned on his knees panting and looks up at you. Soaked to the bone, you glistened in his eyes. He’s always thought you were beautiful and had a crush on you but never acted on it. Years went by and it was getting difficult to conclude whether it was a good idea if he did. He didn’t want to lose you if you didn’t feel the same or if you did and it all goes wrong.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” You asked Fred. 

Fred didn’t know himself what it was. But he remembers how you laughed your awkward laugh when he didn’t reply. Then he remembers how you moved your hair to the back of your ears; how your face contorted with worry; how you gently touched his arm in concern…

He moved without thinking of consequences. His lips were on yours. 

Soft. 

Light. 

Only at first.

Then

Pressure.

Heavy.

And when he pulls back, you were against the wall. Both panting.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me.” He lied. He’d been waiting for that moment for years but never got the courage. So much for holding up to the Gryffindor house standards.

You startled him when you pulled his robe toward yourself and kiss him with a passion.

A whisper and the light from your wand dimmed…

The day after that event, Fred didn’t see you. Not even during movement between periods. He asked other people in your circle, but they didn’t know where you were either. Your dorm mates said you were not in bed when they woke up.

Once it was dinner time, he found you sat at the furthest table from your usual and next to your potion partner who happened to be Adrian Pucey. 

“Lost Weasley?” Malfoy scowled.

“Shut up Malfoy!” Pucey glared, which Fred found incredibly strange.

“Hey.” Fred greeted you, “Where have you been?”

“I wasn’t feeling well so Adrian took me to Madam Pomfrey,” You said without looking at Fred.

“Are you feeling better? Can we talk?”

Adrian placed his arms around your shoulders as you reply, “I’m not feeling that great so maybe tomorrow.”

But tomorrow never came. You avoided him and the rumour that you were dating Adrian travelled to him through Alicia. His heart sank when he heard it.

During those weeks, you barely interacted with Fred. No matter how much he tried to. Sure, you spoke to him during class about the lesson but you weren’t you. When you spoke, he would feel a chill through his body at how cold most of your responses were. Body language was rigid and if he didn’t know better you were trying to keep to your side of the table when you were sat next to each other.

It wasn’t until George intervened and locked you in a closet that you truly interacted. You were sat on the floor twiddling your fingers whilst Fred stood as far away as he could in the little space that you were sharing. The only noise you could here is the distant chatter from students outside and the occasional cough from Fred.

He wanted to say something but didn’t really know what. He didn’t know what was going on between you but he sure as hell didn’t want to confess whatever he was feeling after how you reacted. It didn’t help that you were not even looking his way.

“I’m sorry for being a really shitty friend.” You finally spoke. Eyes still locked to the floor, you continued, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea if we got together.”

“What if we weren’t together?” He replied.

Your head shot up in confusion; “What do you mean?”

Fred didn’t exactly know what he meant either but he knew that he didn’t want to be with anyone else. He hadn’t gone on a date since your kiss, which George pointed out as strange since Fred always had a girl on his arm every Hogsmeade visit. The dates never went anywhere other than within that weekend.

“I mean… we could… just… kiss,” He studied your face for signs of aversion, “but just as friends. Y’know to blow off some steam?”

Your brow shot up.

‘Was that a good idea? Is this going to push you away further?’ Fred thought to himself.

 And when you said yes, it shocked him when you pounce up to kiss him in spite of the fact that he was the one to suggest it.

As a result of this memory, Fred always seeks you when he witnesses another person hitting on you. He'll take three short hours over three long weeks pretending like you don't exist which he fears would happen if you start dating someone else. Not that you two were dating…

“Same time here next weekend?” He asks

You say, "We won't do this again."

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

That night you couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning with thoughts of Fred. You’re not sure how long you can continue like this. It may have started out as a crush on a friend but there are deeper feelings involved on your side now you’ve spent so many days with just the two of you. It won’t end well for you because surely Fred doesn’t feel the same way.

You know he finds you attractive as he compliments you during your sessions and that he likes you in some sort of way, but he obviously doesn’t want to be an official couple. If he did then why has he not asked you out on a proper date? It’s always empty rooms and secret nooks.

A confession to him would just be awkward and terrifying. It’ll risk your friendship even more. You resolve to cut things off tomorrow.

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

There is something off with you, Fred notices. It was evident when your body stiffens at the touch of his arms around you. Five minutes until fifth period starts, he is walking you to your class since it’s his free period.

“You okay?” He squeezes your shoulder. Maybe you weren’t well.

“Yeah I’m fine.” You bite your bottom lip.

“You clearly aren’t. Talk to me.”

“Not right now Fred.”

He sees you grip your books tight.

“Here let me carry your books.”

“No it’s fine Fred.”

 “C’mon something is wrong. You can tell me anything.”

“We’ll talk later.”

“Just tell me. I’ll help you sort it out.”

“I said later.”

“I hate seeing you sad.” He insists, “Just let me help. I’m your friend.”

At those words you snap.

“That’s just it! We’re friends but we’re not friends. I just…” After a deep breath *you say, “I’m done. I don’t want to do whatever this is between us. Let’s go back to being actual friends.”

“What?” He laughs, not taking it seriously. You had been saying that for the past few weekends and you always came back to him. Fred quickens his pace and stops when he is facing you.

“Exams have been over for months now and there aren’t any this year. So we don’t need to ‘blow off steam’,” You quote the words he said at the start of your situationship.

“Are we going to continue during the N.E.W.T.s then?” He jokes.

You, however, do not find it funny and cross your arms.

“Are we just a joke to you? Fred I can’t do this anymore and no we aren’t going to continue next year.” You sigh and shake your head.

He didn’t mean to make a joke but he couldn’t help it. This can’t be happening. This isn’t how your story was supposed to end.

You walk off to your next class but he grabs your wrist and calls out your name.

“You don’t mean that. We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

He hears you scoff at his question. Without turning to him you reply,

“Well it isn’t fun anymore. Now excuse me I need to get to class.”

Yeah, you say that you’re done but Fred is still confused. Where did this come from all of a sudden? He stays where you left him. His mouth slightly agape. Can the ground swallow him up now? Make him fall where he stands, only like you can.

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

You scribble away the content the Professor writes on the chalkboard. Trying so hard to concentrate on the lesson. He drowns on about the different properties of boom berries. However, the scene of your so called break-up replays and replays in your head; you change your mind, but it's still on Fred.

That wasn’t how it was meant to go. The conversation should have gone a little more civil, instead he had the audacity to make jokes. You frown. You should have expected the school’s joker to do as his reputation says. You’d known him for so long too. Why was it such a surprise to you when takes such a serious conversation lightly? Will you patch back up together and stay friends?

You didn’t want to lose him that way. Why did you agree with it in the first place? Then you remembered how your heart fluttered at your first kiss. You had thought about how you settled for being close friends for years then with benefits for months. It was the right decision. Your heart would break even more the longer you carry on.

When you broke the news to Hermione whilst you walked to watch the quidditch practice, she agreed it was the right decision. You debated on whether it was a good idea to attend the Gryffindor practice session but it was your way of getting things back to before. Back to normal. You even brought his and George’s favourite snacks.

You wave at him from the bleachers and your heart swells with glee when he returns the gesture.

“See nothing to worry about.” Hermione reassures you.

Hermione confided in her liking Ron at the start of last year in which you returned her trust by telling her about Fred. She insisted that he felt the same about you but you brushed it off saying it was just a brief infatuation that should go away given that you were close friends.

“Watch out!”

A bludger heading your way is immediately hit by Fred. The eye contact between you sends your cheeks blushing. Fuck he looked gorgeous in his sports gear. That’s when you know that after the aftermath, you know you will be coming back. 

Next you’re in his bedroom and it won't be the last time.

Head and heart are floating at the touch of his skin on yours. Fred caresses your body, clouding the judgement of the voice in your head. His kisses are rough as if to say I missed you when it’s only been a day they were apart from yours. You claw his back and he removes his jumper.

How are you supposed to leave him now that you're already over?

[hwnglx]

oo i just saw your enha and lessera reading, it’s so interesting!! if you have some time could you do a similar reading for enha and ive? they’re my ults!! 🫂

what do enhypen and ive think about each other?

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

enhypen > ive

heeseung devil, 6ofw, 6ofsw&empr+char phew, what a start? i keep hearing "arrogant" for him. thinks they're complacent, big-headed.. like they let fame get to their head too much. there might've been a member he found very beautiful and actively approached, but has since moved on from. jay 2ofw, aceofc, 7ofw doesn't seem too close to them, but there might've been opportunities for him to grow closer, that didn't develop much. thinks they have strong and opinionated personalities jake 9ofc, 5ofw, 4ofp&knofc thinks they're very confident and proud people who have a lot of things going well for them, but also have a lot of suitors, and aren't that easy to get close to. might've flirted with some of them sunghoon herm, 5ofc, queofwrx, 10ofp, sun&kingofp thinks they're a very career-oriented and financially stable group, believes they could go on for a long time. some regrets and unwanted distance he's feeling, might've tried to get in contact with one of them more but didn't succeed sunoo temp, death, empr, queofw his thoughts on ive are very balanced and chill, nothing crazy or outstanding. the energy is sweet though, he sees them as beautiful and strong women, who have transitioned a lot over the years. (getting the feeling that getting along with girls comes to sunoo very naturally. i bet he has many girls he's friends with. i can see him gossiping with them a lot lmao) jungwon tower, justice&kingofsw, 3ofp&hangm very strictly "business and no feelings" here. sees them as colleagues. thinks there's a sense of unpredictability to them niki 9ofc, world similarly to jake, sees them as a very fulfilled and successful group, who are aware of their worth. also very wellrounded and capable of various things

in general, i'm getting a lot of respect for their achievements and overall their work. personally, they seem to think they're a group of successful girls who know what they want and what they are, and who aren't necessarily the most friendly, more distant and closed off. more invested in their own world, don't care about engaging with them. very unbothered vibe, in a "we're just doing our own thing and killing it, what about you?" type of way.

ive > enhypen

gaeul aceofw, 6ofc, 8ofw thinks they're very creative and ambitious. might share some fond memories with some of them and still talk from time to time, some nostalgia here yujin 9ofc, 4ofp, 5ofsw&3ofc thinks they're confident and proud of their achievements, but overly uptight and careful. like they care too much about what others think? i keep seeing her think "lol chill and let lose a little" rei 2ofp, 5ofp, 6ofw thinks they have a lot going on, busy all the time. also respects them for coming out stronger and successful after going through some tough times wonyoung temp, 3ofwrx&aceofprx always gives me this vibe she doesn't concern herself with anyone else, in a positive manner. like she respects everyone, very peaceful. still might think they don't really have established stable foundations to go very far, like they keep missing opportunities, and are still shaky. liz 4ofw, 7ofw+3ofsw, fool, aceofc sees them as this happy and carefree group of boys, very bright and positive energy for her. but also thinks they get defensive and feel attacked and hurt pretty easily, like they're overly sensitive in her eyes. leeseo 9ofp, aceofw, hier&moon+fool thinks they're financially sufficient, independent and very creative guys. they have a lot of potential, but are somehow blocked in their freedom.. like they stick to the rulebook a lot, don't take many risks. she believes they could get even higher if they went out the box a little more.

[storyofmychoices]

Shining Through The Shadows

[Bryce Lahela x Olivia Hadley Masterlist] 

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x Olivia Hadley (F!OC) Book: Open Heart, present day Word Count: ~1,200 Rating/Warnings: general, no warnings

Synopsis: Olivia prepares a special eclipse viewing party for her patients.

"Where should I put this?" Bryce questioned as he carried a plastic foldable table beneath his arm into the hospital's healing garden. 

"I was thinking right over here," Olivia gestured. "Near the entrance."

Within seconds, he had it open and set up. 

"Thanks!" Olivia rocked up on her tiptoes, placing a kiss on his cheek, before turning back to the task at hand. 

"Anything else I can help with?" 

"Bring me that bag over there?" She motioned her head toward one of the blankets she had set up as she placed a yellow tablecloth over the table. "Grab that basket too, please." 

"Is this all just glasses?" Bryce dug through the bag. "How many do you have here?"

"100... give or take some more," she offered casually while organizing a display of Capri Sun, Sun Chips, and Moon Pies on the table. 

"I thought you only had 31 kids that could come out?"

"And the nurses and the doctors," Olivia defended. 

"But more than 100? Did you leave any for the other departments?" he teased. 

"Yes!" She stuck her tongue out playfully toward him. "Besides, the children need at least 2 each."

"Dare I ask why?" He handed Olivia the basket, which she placed on the table beside the snacks.

"For their stuffed animals and dolls," she answered as though it were common knowledge. Carefully, she placed the glasses in the basket, smiling as she continued, "Of course, they need protection, too."

"I'm not sure that's true," he laughed. 

"Will you be the one telling them their stuffed friend isn't real so they don't need protection?" 

"Not a chance. Ramsey might, though—we'll have to keep him away," Bryce decided with a chuckle. 

"Woah," the ten-year-old Christopher marveled at how the healing garden had transitioned into a picnic area with snacks and art stations. 

The effervescent seven-year-old Savannah bounced with excitement, pulling on her mom's hand. "There's clay! And paint! And crayons! And snacks! This is the best day ever!"

Her mother smiled down at her. Despite all the medical challenges her daughter had faced, she never let it dull her spirit. "Looks like you had a lot of choices, my little Picasso. Where'd you like to start?

One by one, the children entered the garden with their parents. Nurses and doctors mingled throughout, guiding them through the art choices, each station allowing them to explore the eclipse with different art mediums.

As 2:00 approached, Olivia called all the children back together to start their viewing party. 

"We are very lucky to be able to come out here today and see something really special," Olivia began, her eyes wide with excitement as she spoke with the children. 

"Who has seen a shadow before?"

All of the children raised their hands.

"What is the biggest shadow you've ever seen?"

"My dad's really tall so he has a really long shadow," one child called out.

"The shadow of the playground by my house is big in the afternoon," another shared. 

"You have a shadow right there, Dr. Olivia!" Savannah pointed eagerly to the ground beside her. 

"That's right! We all make shadows. Most things leave behind a shadow," Olivia explained. "My shadow is created because I block sunlight from getting to this area. Did you know there is something that looks kind of small but is actually really big and can make day look like night?" 

The kids looked around, whispering to their parents in surprise. 

"That's what's going to happen today. During a Solar Eclipse, the moon moves in front of the sun and blocks sunlight from reaching Earth." She held up a model to help demonstrate. "When the moon is in front of the sun, its shadow will make some places get really dark. Dark enough to see stars."

"I don't like the dark," Noah whimpered, holding his stuffed Koala a little tighter. 

"You don't have to worry," she gently reassured him. "Just like my shadow only makes part of the area dark, it's the same with the moon,"

"So we won't see stars?" Savannah frowned.

"Not until it's actually nighttime. Sorry, Sav! Where we are, we will only see part of the eclipse." Olivia held up an Oreo, twisting the top off to expose the frosting. "In just a few minutes, the moon—" she held up the half without the frosting, "—and the sun—," she held up the half with the icing, "—are going to cross paths." She moved the "moon" half slowly in front of the "sun" half. "As the moon moves, it covers up more and more sunlight. With our special glasses to help protect our eyes, we will get to see the sun seem to disappear until it's just a sliver. It'll still look bright outside, but if we put on special glasses we can see that it'll really look like this."

The kids marveled in excitement and curiosity, eagerly discussing the event with their parents. 

"Me, nurse Laura, nurse Tim, and Dr. Bryce will be around to give you glasses. You must wear them anytime you look up at the sun, okay? Can you give me a big thumbs up if you can do that for me?" The kids did as requested. "Great!" 

The doctors and nurses moved through the group, passing out glasses to each group.

"Here you go." Bryce knelt near Savannah, offering her a pair of glasses. 

The young girl looked around her blanket, raising one finger at a time as she counted. She held her hand toward him. "We need four, please."

"Four?" Bryce looked around, his brow raising curiously.

"Dr. Olivia said everyone needs glasses," she nodded to agree with her previous statement. "Me, Mommy, Teddy, and my American Girl doll."

"You are absolutely right; that is four!" Bryce shook his head with a smile. "How could I have counted wrong?"

"Maybe you were distracted by Dr. Olivia," she smiled. "She's so nice and pretty."

"She really is, isn't she?" His gaze flickered to Olivia, who was showing another patient how to wear the glasses.

"You should go hold her hand. She would like that," Savannah whispered with a giggle.

"You think?" His eyes widened in consideration.

Savannah nodded excitedly. 

"I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the tip," Bryce winked as he continued on his way.

As the eclipse began and all the children were busy watching in amazement, Bryce slipped his hand into Olivia's as she watched over them. "You are incredible, absolutely incredible." 

"It's nothing." She shook her head, trying to dismiss him. 

"Liv, look at them! All of this, this is you! None of this would be possible without you."

"Anyone could have organized this."

"Maybe, but they didn't. You did!" He took her other hand in his, turning into her. "You made sure these kids got to experience something they wouldn't have without you. You made understanding the science relatable for them. This is something they're never going to forget. You gave them something special to remember."

Her face warmed under his compliments. Her gaze shifted toward the children engaged in viewing the once-in-a-lifetime experience, their parents beside them sharing in the moment. "They deserve this and so much more. They're so strong and so brave." Her eyes threatened to tear up, knowing that for some, they wouldn't have many other big days ahead of them.

"They're so lucky to have you, Liv, and so am I." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "There's no one else I'd want to share this with."

"I feel the same about you," Olivia smiled, wrapping her arms around him. After a moment, the pair turned their attention to the heavens and the celestial event growing in front of them, their hands laced together between them.

A/N: I know I'm late with this. This week has been crazy busy. It's taken all week to finish this. It is not proofread or edited! So please forgive any mistakes.

[marsixm]

touch wood bc im always crashing and burning on shit like this but lately ive been somewhat remembering to keep up with a bunch of positive habits ive been trying to stick to for years.

ive noticeably been off my phone, my screen time is way down from last week, and the effects are def being felt. like all the shit where i was always feeling like i had no time, well, actually i do if im not spending a bunch of time distracted by twitter lmao

i know putting it down to one or even two things is too simple but i feel like a bunch of stuff has had a domino effect lately of positive changes adding up. i no longer am hosting people i didnt wanna host at my place, its not unbearably hot outside, im feeling way more secure in my relationships, im feeling confident due to noticeable skill improvements, and all those things are compounding each other and helping me maintain a lot of baseline stuff (mostly cleaning) which is then making me feel even better and able to do more of the stuff i often put off

4 example i finally made an appointment for my next tattoo, finally contacted my apt place about fixing my washer, am actually doing my skin care routine, actually clipping the dogs nails more (tho that ones mostly on him for fighting me lmao), im trying to ease my way back into reading too

a couple changes that are helping are, for one, i changed my morning routine up so i have like 20 minutes before making breakfast to start nursing my cup of coffee while i check my computer, respond to messages, and kinda mentally prep for the day, also instead of having either pure silence im trying to fill with picking out some other youtube video or being on my phone or whatever, im trying to just turn the tv on and let it play american dad (or whatever show ive already seen a million times) which i know sounds like it should be distracting but for me its not, and i really realized that recently that of course it would feel normal to just have the tv running thats literally how i grew up for my entire childhood and adolescence- im also giving myself my specific time for listening to music and time for listening to podcasts, and for podcast-esque yt vids, again everything towards having less mental hangups while trying to get other stuff done, AND im giving myself time to actually catch up on things like podcasts (im up to taz graduation now) which is also handy for not using data in my car, i actually set myself on a 5gb/month plan and this past month i had a whole gigabyte left over! + im amble to stick to the skin care routine better, for example, bc i realized just bc its a before bed skin care routine doesnt mean i have to do it RIGHT BEFORE bed, ie when im fucking sleepy and also dont want my face to feel weird & distracting. like i can do it a couple hours before, even, esp if im not going out. also this is either gonna sound silly or totally reasonable but ever since i got back into elden ring, the feeling its giving me of facing obstacles, getting defeated, but getting back up and trying harder and winning is like genuinely doing so many positive things for my self esteem and brain chemistry right now. also timers! i love timers! having an idea of how long something is taking me, or giving myself a predetermined block of time to do something, or just to nudge me to remind me what i was up to, super helpful

anyway im kinda going thru a transitional period rn bc im improving on a personal level a lot but my social life is kinda whacked out due to communication breakdowns and one of the key people moving states this week, but at the same time im also much more secure in my ability to socialize and bridge gaps and be there for people so its a very mixed bag but im trying to not just survive but thrive right now

[radishwizard]

I try not to talk too specifically about my location but I've decided it won't doxx me to say I was in portland (oregon) this past weekend and did their indie bookstore day north portland book crawl. I was determined to do it on transit + with my own two feet only (no car no bike) and circumstances required it all be in one day. no one was willing to do this absurd quest with me so I went it alone :-)

approx 12 PM. stop 1: midslumber media. it was empty when I went in. they had little chip bags out for crawlers and I took some cheetos. the proprietor was very kind and masked, which I always appreciate.

stop 2: green bean books. this is right across the street from midslumber and as I was crossing at the crosswalk a car came hurtling toward me, braking dramatically right before hitting me. I was fine but a couple of passers by shouted JESUS! and checked that I was alright and I said That's a crosswalk! and I went into the cozy little children's bookstore and got my second stamp. this proprietor was also masked and gave me a few tips on getting around (which I didn't need as I had put together elaborate instructions for myself).

the first four stores are all on alberta in a neat little line, so this part of my trek was just walking up a lovely little shopping street. I popped into close knit and while my yarn budget does not extend anywhere beyond "weird free fleeces that have been sitting in someone's garage for years" it's always nice to see what the indie dyers are up to.

stop 3: melville books. they were doing spring cleaning and had a huge number of books out for $2 each and while I get 99% of my books from the library there are some things I like owning so I picked up a wildflower field guide and a book on Navajo weaving. (I think this cashier was also masked but my memory is a little fuzzy.)

stop 4: parallel worlds. this was PACKED. i was pretty much immediately overwhelmed and as much as I enjoy sf/f and probably would have liked their stock I got my stamp and got out of there as quickly as I could (-- not quickly. there were so many people).

at this point what I should have done was hop on the 72 bus that I saw running down alberta, but for some godforsaken reason I decided it was nice out and I'd rather walk the 40 minutes to the next store. someone stopped me and asked me for help getting some pre roll and as someone who has not done anything recreational since a bad experience with a brownie circa 2017 I was only like 70% sure that this was related to the weed shop we were outside of and stammered that I didn't have my ID on me (true, fwiw) while the asker looked at me with powerful resigned disappointment.

the walk was nice though and it brought me through some more residential areas. everyone talks about how white portland is (oregon's history with sundown policies is not uhhhhhh good) but that area was pretty clearly a black neighborhood complete with churches proudly proclaiming their serving a historical black community. very different feel than the plant store I'd walked past earlier with a sign saying "we give free plants to bipoc customers" which I'd thought was something that only happened on hassan hates portland and not in real life.

~ 1:30 PM, stop 5: always here bookstore. I learned that devon price (who I know is here on tumblr, by the by) has written a ... sequel, let's say -- to unmasking autism, which I will be getting from my library as soon as there's an audiobook version.

i timed my busses poorly and had to wait 20 minutes for this one, the 44. I did a couple laps around the block rather than just standing at the bus sign but my feet were beginning to hurt a bit at this point. AND when I finally got off the bus I started to walk the wrong way and had to double back .... always embarrassing.

~ 2:30 PM, stop 6: reggies manga shop. this was the store I was least excited for as someone who is japanese-american and has had less than stellar experiences with weebs but it was really lovely! it definitely seems like a community space, and I decided to miss the soonest bus and take the time to devour a $2 instant spicy ramen and refill my water bottle.

I took the 75 all the way north to st. john's so I could work my way back south to end at the appropriate end-stop for the crawl. it was nice to sit for a minute.

~ 3:30 PM, stop 7: revolutions bookshop. this was the store I was most excited for and I wasn't disappointed! it was nice seeing mike davis out on prominent display, and i added a couple things to my TBR from their staff recs. it was crowded though and the person before me in line had a pile of maybe a dozen purchases and was talking about how they'd bought or donated something at every stop on the book crawl so when I went up and just asked to have my card stamped I said "I'm on a library budget these days" and the cashier said "oh god me too" and wished me well.

stop 8: two rivers bookstore. they share a retail space with a yarn store! very fun. some other crawlers recognized me here from another store and I ruminated upon my increasingly greasy hair and failing deodorant.

I hopped back on the 75 going south (I love this line. it runs so often) to stop 9: arches bookhouse. unfortunately arches is usually closed on Sunday and they'd only agreed to be open until 3 for the crawl so they were closed when I came by around 4 PM. they had a few boxes out with honor-system paypal QR codes, mostly roman histories. I took a very cringe selfie with the sign just in case and got back on my beloved 75 bus to my final destination.

stop 10: second shapes bookstore. I turned in my completed card (with a few extra little stars for doing it car-free) and picked out some barbara kingsolver essays as my completion prize. I've never read her before! I'm excited. the cashier approved of my pick and I stumbled off toward dinner -- but not without going into the antique store next door and thinking REALLY hard about buying a pair of earrings that I definitely didn't need.

final numbers: 15,000 steps and 6 miles walked, $6 spent (not including bus fare, which I had pre-loaded on a transit card and came out to about $5), 1 blue marble found on the sidewalk, several handfuls of trail mix ravenously devoured while standing at street corners, all in 5 hours. zero blisters! altogether one very lovely outing.

p.s. for all that I'm on a library budget I do love an indie bookstore and I want to s/o a few others not featured here: Capitol Hill books in DC which does curated book selection boxes that ship all over the states for cheap, mysterious galaxy in San Diego which is always hosting author talks and is where I pre-ordered my copy of nona the ninth from, and the last word bookshop in philly which has a very good bookstore cat.

[karoiseka]

24) Bar

((annnnnnnd caught back up again! This one actually came to me via some screenshots that I took a couple of weeks ago, and then weaved it around them. I'm honestly really happy with this one!! I also haven't seen anyone else in my pool of people I follow using the word in this manner, so that's really fun to me as well! ^_^ MAJOR 6.0 SPOILERS THROUGH THE HALF-WAY POINT!!))

The stone was easy to climb, deep grooves between the large blocks, weathered by the sea breeze.  Karo had swapped one bow for another, this one with her viola now slung across her back as she climbed, amused at the crowd below.  They were, for the most part, ignoring her.  Of all the things that they could be doing, it made her laugh to herself the most.  Usually when she went climbing public property, people couldn’t stop gawping, pointing at her, or sometimes even trying to get the guard to go after her.

The people of Tuliyollal were something else.  There were a couple of small children watching her climb with interest, and one of the merchants kept looking up to mark how high she had gotten, but otherwise the busy market street bustled about it’s business, ignoring the strange foreign Miqo’te that had decided to climb the exterior of one of the dock storage buildings.  Stretching to the overhanging edge, Karo swung with ease, hanging for a brief moment before pulling herself onto the roof.  As she expected, there was an access hatch up here that she could have found her way to, but she enjoyed the quick climb.

Stepping away from the edge for a moment, she ducked out of sight, pulling her viola out from its case, and rosining the bow.  Another few minutes of tuning and softly warming up her fingers, and she was back overseeing the road.  Sitting with legs hanging and placing the instrument deftly under her chin, she set bow to strings and began to play.

The first few bars of music were played at a normal volume, no louder than what the instrument could do naturally.  A few extra faces looked up at the new sound–finally curious.  As she continued to play, Karo started to extend her bardic talents–amplifying the music carefully and gently.  Those closest to her still heard it as they should–not at an ear-splitting volume–while those further away could hear as if they were there in front of her.  Setting small magical markers at the outer edge of the range she wanted to reach, Karo let the music swell.

Now she had their attention as she lost herself to the music, half-closing her eyes as she swayed on the stone outcropping.  She had started with an almost dance-beat, lively and cheerful–an original song she had composed while traveling.  She would be beginning and ending with this melody–the one she had made with the city of Tuliyollal in mind.

Fading it out, she phased into the next–sweeping and haunting as the chill wind that visited the mountain pass.  Here she borrowed from the Pelupelu merchants traveling songs, bringing imagery of a wide open sky and the paths to tread.  Leading on a journey, but always home, somehow invoking the sound of wind whistling down off of Worqor Zormor.  The music transitioned into a more somber melody for the Yok Huy, bringing a note of solemn duty to the motif, stone rumbling and evoking memories of glory.

Cracking open her eyes, Karo could see she had the attention of all in the markets, and more streaming in once word of mouth started to spread.  Bringing a foot up, she pushed up off the ledge and back just a bit to a standing position, walking to the end corner of the building where as many could see her as possible with all the awnings out.  The music had transitioned once more into a more upbeat note as she borrowed the pulse and beat from the Ihih’hana festival, a song of hope and of growth.

Giving herself over to the flow of the performance, she was glad to see the various races recognizing the little threads she had left of their cultures mixed into her song.  For this was a tribute and a gift to the people who had welcomed her so kindly.

Dancing in place, twirling to the melody, it flowed as the raging falls of Kozama’uke–tying the overpowering majesty of the water with the deep brightly colored beauty that surrounded it.  A Moblin work song gave structure to the wildness of the sound of water, before just as the water calmed away from the rocks, so did the music once more as she invoked the jungle of Yak T’el.

It was a stern cadence–reminiscent of a long and bitter war–one that still invoked strong memories and feelings.  A hunting theme dominated for the first stanza, evoking the Xbr’aal and their prey.  The chase continued until it burst into a flurry of notes before calming into a mournful hymn to those that had been lost, haunting and bittersweet as if the hymn of cenote had settled among them.  The sorrow of the Mamool Ja would not be forgotten. 

Even as the last lingering note echoed in the plaza, Karo had another moment to look out at those that had gathered.  Easy to spot in the colorful crowd, Thancred’s coat stood out, gleaming in the evening sun.  Someone had obviously alerted the palace, for at his side was Kona and Lamaty’i both watching her–Kona a pleased and proud expression on his face–Lamaty’i in complete awe, jaw hanging open.

Using the final note from the requiem, Karo slowly spun the melody faster, weaving it ito a tapestry of all the lief motifs that she had touched on.  Each of the people’s familiar songs woven into the bright tapestry that was Tuliyollal.  She could hear the whispers of the people below recognizing what she had done and exclaiming when “their” part came up in the song as she played, dancing in the light of the setting sun.  Triumphantly, she wrapped up the song, hope on her strings and joy on her face.  She hadn’t cared if no one had listened that day, for the performance was for her own joy as well–but full glad was she that so many had gathered to hear her tribute to her journey.

Bowing to the crowd as they cheered, Karo waved and smiled until most had started to disperse.  Finally ducking back out of view, she tucked her viola away once more.  Tomorrow she left with Erenville, headed to Xak Tural, and further inland to his home.  A peaceful evening with Thancred was in order before they said farewell again, and she planned to make the most of every moment.  Finding a quick pathway down, involving the large awnings over the market street and several tall stacks of boxes, Karo was soon at his side, and hand in hand they headed back to the luxurious cabin she had been gifted to stay in.  As the stars started to appear, she couldn’t help but think of how lucky she had been on this adventure so far, and prayed it would stay as calm as it had been.  Somehow, she figured, her luck was due to change–but that was for another day.

[gwyns]

I’m the anon that asked about Gwyn & Az! It’s nice getting to talk about things like this! I don’t go on twitter as much, because the e/riel’s there are truly unhinged. I don’t know why e/riel’s think it’s stupid that gwynriel’s are fine with Azriel saying “I don’t have a mate”, but we are because we’ll get to actually see it on page. Why would they want their ship to develop off page where you can’t read about it? Makes no sense. One of the best things about romance is getting to see the two characters slowly become enamored with each other.

I don’t think they have crushes on each other either (Gwyn might think he’s attractive) or are best friends (yet), but I think they are very good acquaintances. We will get to see their friendship develop on page, as well as their romantic feelings which will be so nice to see. I definitely agree that there is a mutual respect and trust between them. Azriel sees the warrior in Gwyn. He doesn’t see her as a victim. And so far, he treats her with respect and his interactions with her feel healthy compared to his interactions with Mor & Elain.

Do you think Gwyn and Azriel will become lovers/a couple first and then will have sex/explore it, or start exploring sex and then become lovers? I have a lot of thoughts on the sexuality aspect. It grosses me out how some e/riel’s think survivors of assault can never have sex or have sex that might be more kinky. I honestly feel like there’s a lot Sarah can do with them not only as lovers/a couple, but their friendship build up and them as individual characters. I don’t think Gwyn is going to fix Azriel, but she will help with his self worth and help accept parts of himself.

hiii i'm so sorry it took me awhile to get to this!! i agree it's very nice to be able to talk about this <3 i understand your avoidance of twitter they're... horrid on there. i've gotten to the point where i just drag any of them i happen to see on my timeline and they usually block me so, it's been fun!

i grow more and more convinced every day that e/riels have never read books before. when a character says something like "i don't have a mate" in a fated mates series that's the author telling us "yes he does, he's just too stupid to see it right now". of course he has a mate, sjm loves her happy endings. it's a little something called dramatic irony and i believe the greeks coined the term. like it's obvious to us, the readers, where this is going but he's oblivious to it. it's not hard to figure out

yes, yes, yes! i definitely think that by the end of acosf they're both on each other's radars. gwyn is comfortable being alone with him and az admires and encourages her. they're not super close (yet) but they find themselves liking one another's company more and more. it'll be such a seamless transition from acquaintances to friends to best friends to lovers and i can't wait for it!

now that's where this gets tricky. it's hard to tell when sjm will introduce their physical relationship but i hope it's more towards the end. i want their friendship to be at the front of their relationship for awhile. i do think that they won't become "official" or anything until after they have sex. i think they'll realize they're attracted to each other, and gwyn will be curious enough to ask him about it and az would be willing and... well you can guess the rest lol

oh definitely. azriel needs to self reflect a lot and realize he's worthy of love as is. he doesn't have to constantly try and prove he belongs when he already does. i think gwynriel have the potential to be one of sjm's most beautiful couples. the comfort they'd find in each other, how they'd help one another to see that they're worthy of everything they have and want... ugh i love it. they really do share many similarities and parallels and that's not a coincidence on sjm's part

as for e/riels being gross, nothing about their behavior surprises me anymore, unfortunately. i have to believe they're younger, stupider people that don't fully realize how harmful their thinking is. gwyn can and will have a healthy sexual relationship in the future, if that's what she wants. she's more than her trauma and assault, she's even said so, stop reducing her to only that and reflect on how your words can harm real people who have experienced similar things

[khywren]

writing interview tag game!

thank you so much for the tags, @verbenaa and @nyx-nox! i've been in a real slump with writer's block this past week or so, so this is a nice opportunity to kinda step back and engage with my writing a little differently.

when did you start writing?

haha, okay. i'm about to really date myself here, but i technically started writing when i was around 10 or 11 back when i first started playing neopets. i spent most of my time on the RP boards and even though it was extremely casual, i think it counts! i did a lot of that on various websites and forums throughout my teens, but i only transitioned to fanfiction last year when i picked up bg3. god bless you, astarion.

are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

oh, certainly. i really enjoy dark romance and i'm slowly getting into sci-fi as well. but my favorite genre to read is still fantasy, which is why bg3 fits so well into my wheelhouse.

is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

i don't think i've ever been compared to anybody. as far as emulating goes, i probably do pick up subtle things from authors i really enjoy, but i don't do it consciously. i'm just kinda doing my own thing, and that seems to be working well enough for me!

can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

i don't really have a designated space, per se, as i do most of my writing on my phone because it's convenient. but if i had to choose my favorite place, i really love curling up under a blanket in the nest of pillows on my bed, since i feel like being cozy puts me in a good mood for writing.

what's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

there are three places i seem to get most of my ideas: at work, when it's dead and i have nothing else to do but let my mind wander; in the shower, where all of mankind's greatest epiphanies happen; and in bed, when i'm trying to sleep. i swear to god, when i'm struggling for ideas, if i lay down and close my eyes and just kinda run through dialogue or scenarios in my head, i'll typically come up with something sooner or later. i don't know what it is about my brain being somewhere in that fuzzy state between being awake and asleep, but it works. i always have to scramble to write things down in my notes app before i pass out entirely, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

are there any recurring themes in your writing? do they surprise you?

you know, i genuinely don't know. the same way with writing styles, i don't consciously pay attention to recurring themes; i just kinda write whatever i vibe with, and any recurring themes are pure coincidence. so i guess by that measure any recurring themes in my writing would probably surprise me.

what is your reason for writing?

i have a few reasons! firstly, as a creative outlet. i've enjoyed reading and writing in some capacity all my life, and it feels good to make something all your own. i can't draw worth a damn, so writing is the only way i have to get those ideas out! i've found that bg3 has been the most influential and inspirational piece of media I've ever consumed, and i need an outlet for all of that. i've seen so many other people having fun sharing their stories and ideas, and i wanted to be a part of that too! i've met some truly wonderful people in the process, and it makes all the writer's block and the natural frustration that can occur with writing more than worth it.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

honestly, getting any comment makes me so happy. the fact that someone enjoyed something i wrote enough to leave feedback, even if it's just a heart emoji or something simple like that is still encouraging! getting comments on older works or things I've written that i was not entirely happy with remind me that i'm probably always being too hard on myself, and that a lot of my self-doubt is probably not as big a deal as it feels like.

how do you want to be thought about by your readers?

oh lord. i don't know! i'm writing for the fun of it, not for clout. but i always hope that the stuff i write makes people feel something, one way or the other. i want people to feel comfortable enough to leave comments/or talk to me about whatever, since a big part of why i'm here is for the community!

what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

i've gotten a lot of positive reactions to my characterization, which is honestly so motivating, since i always want to stay as true as i can to the characters as i see them. i've been working on refining my prose, and while i'm not quite at the point where i'm satisfied, i do think I've made a lot of progress in the year or so I've been writing fanfic.

how do you feel about your own writing?

wellllll. i've definitely grown more confident since i've started to post stuff, but imposter syndrome is a massive bitch and sometimes i really struggle with feeling good about the things i write. i don't think i'm terrible, of course, but i am a natural perfectionist, which is a real pain for anyone who's doing something creative. but i know the only way i'll make those improvements i want to see is by writing more, not less, so i just gotta keep going! it's not always easy, but i'm doing my best.

when you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

definitely both. i want to stay true to my own style and vision, but i'm also writing things that i want to share with other people, so it's hard to not be at least a little invested in writing something other people will enjoy as well. but i'd say that overall, i write more to create something i would want to read rather than what other people would enjoy.

not sure who all's been tagged, but! @nerdallwritey. @roguishcat, @cinnamontails-ff, @pinkberrytea; no pressure, of course!