#not gonna tell my whole life story but it's been going on since i was a kid
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With Krok now on my mind, it's reminded me of like, the whole deal of him coping with the loss of his squad by believing they'd just become separated? Because that bit is such a fascinating aspect of his character to me.
It's vague in a way that doesn't totally confirm whether he truly 100% deluded himself, or if he just kept telling himself that to try and distract from the truth and memories he didn't want to face.
(Which, for some reason this pisses Misfire off? Which implies something really interesting there about Misfire and his own coping mechanisms and issues that we don't get much of a peer into unfortunately.)
Anyway, I spent way too long thinking about it when I was reading through the comics. And it's like, did studying battles and strategy play a part in this delusion/lie?
Like, you're a being that lives for millions of years, in the middle of a war spanning those millions of years. So, at some point, surely those battles are going to start to blur together. So you've got that, and then you go and face a frankly horrifically traumatic fight that quite literally rips the people you cared about most, and felt responsible for, apart.
Presumably, Decepticons aren't the greatest at handling shell shock and other such side effects of war. So they just take this freshly traumatized mess of a dude, take him off the front lines and plant him on a warworld to aid the fight from a more comfortable distance.
With all this, the mind is bound to be fickle when faced with such sudden loss and change. But Krok obviously did his job there, or at least he was very knowledgeable on history and tactics beforehand.
Either way, he studied battle after battle, went through records of fight after fight, planned for what's next and reconsidered what had already happened. Hundreds of wins and losses.
So did it get jumbled there? In having a head full of battles, did some of them blur and mix with the one that took everything away from him? In trying to solve the failures of past battles, did he try and find where a victory could've been had against the wreckers that day? Did he find a solution that would've had his squad still whole and alive?
From there, did it slip into delusion, or a desperate lie to keep himself going?
I feel like his "mental health matters" moment was an interesting insight into it and possibly the average soldier's rough outlook on trauma. But it was still very surface level I think, but I guess going too deep into the why's and how's wouldn't have been important until maybe the Scavenger centric comics that uh, never happened :/
#i'm probably reading too much into it. but im a sucker for war stories and such in fiction. esp sci fi.#i grew up military. so its like. i need to know the details within the media im reading. or else it feels poorly done or handled#and tf is frequently at its core a story of war. even in g1 it covered that fact. loss and coping and stuff#and idw1 is best in the post-war era. but it only sometimes dips into the real nitty gritty of what that all entails for ex-soldiers#the scavs are particularly interesting in that sense. since none of them were ''important''. they were tragically deemed disposable#and like. the bit where krok is explaining what happened during the war was just so good. just the disillusion and betrayal and hurt-#-towards megatron and the high command. like. argh. it was just *chefs kiss* when it comes to writing an interesting ex-soldier#fulcrums line about the war being over being comparable to the sky no longer being blue is also just. ough. esp since he wasn't a soldier#it just shows how ingrained the war was in every bot and cons life. and its so tragic and fascinating and augh#and like. the cons are awful. yeah. but they're also just an army chock full of random people with their own unique views and opinions#and the scavs are great vessels for telling that angle. that perspective. of just being someone swept up in it all#they're great comedy relief and all too. but theres so much fascinating story potential there too of hardships and disillusion#i mean. the whole deal with the djd?? the comparisons?? the hypocrisy bcs they're all bad people but for different reasons???#i could go on for hours about it. and i actually have and it's never coherent. but its like my fav thing about cons#which is probably a bit weird. i've been told having an interest in fictional wars and its effects is weird. but idk#its personal for me. you grow up hearing shit from vets and what they've been through. their own disillusions and it sticks with you#i'm gonna stop before i start to vent lol. but yeah. just krok and his ptsd and the greater untouched trauma within post-war cons
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I wish I had straight hair so I could get David Lynch's stupid haircut 💔 Not even joking when I say he makes me feel some insane gender envy. Kind of had a gender crisis last month (I think) because of it. I'm crazy
#gonna rant a bit but#i really think i might just be trans and in some crazy denial lol#idk. i still feel indifferent when i get called a she (not that i particularly enjoy it either)#but i really can't stand being called female or being perceived as a girl or having the fucking f on my id#and if there was a button that could instantly turn me into a guy i would press the shit out of it#not gonna tell my whole life story but it's been going on since i was a kid#so im kind of aware there's something but at the same time i don't have the guts to do anything about it#might just not be ready idk#i imagine the constant negativity doesn't help either#why live if i can't be david lynch.#shits self
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Had another dream story idea and it's BAD out here y'all. My subconscious said "you don't go for sad old white men yaoi? Well here's one and you have to care about it so much. Good luck"
#the braiiiin worms#The surrounding story was very good lotr asoiaf 80's fantasy epic and then there were these two dudes just So Achingly In Love oh my GOD#Basically they had been knights together back in the day during their own Young Men Do Big Things story and deposed the evil mage king#They were just village boys turned soldiers who fell in love and did something good#but then the one was basically forced to become king because he'd killed the last one and had to get married and produce an heir#So he does get married but tells the queen he's never going to sleep w her and she can fuck who she likes and her kids can have the throne#Since he's not even nobility he doesn't care about The Bloodline#His lover is promoted to “protector of the king” 👀 and they manage to be happy despite the restrictions of royal life#Eventually though it comes out that the king's kids aren't his#And this sparks a conflict between “loyalists” who want the True King's Legacy and the “monarchists” who want Real Noble Lineage#With the queen basically standing back and watching it happen as the crown prince decides now is a great time to try “patricide”#the lover finds the king's nephew (the loyalists' heir) and tells the guard to take him to distant family to raise until he's old enough#But the guard is like “he's gonna get found out in no time” so instead sells him to ppl who find exotic kids for nobles to keep as wards#and he basically disappears into a faraway household and the lover doesn't even know#Meanwhile the king survives a poison attempt but is now physically impaired and on high alert#He leaves with a small retinue to Do Some Business but when he comes back the castle gates are up and arrows start raining down#So it's him and his little group at the edge of a market vs. an entire castle#In the ambush/battle he is seriously wounded#and they try to fake his death to get back in the castle and then nurse him/sneak him out#But the prince doesn't take it at face value and stabs the “body” to make sure#and the lover has to act through watching his all-but-husband who'd just planned their escape from all this get killed in front of him#So that it doesn't blow his cover and get him killed too#That's about where the dream ended but I'm uggg g h gg#I'm SO invested in these two fantasy gays and their incredibly poetic relationship#Doesn't hurt that there were like 3 very graphic sex scenes between them across the timeline#And they were so obsessed with and hungry for each other the whole time.... the last one was just before the ambush#after the king has been left near-immobile from the poison and they're like 40-something#and the lover takes him away from all that and back to the days it was just them and he was strong#It was sooo romantic but also hell when can I get ravaged like that#Anyway I'm ruined and I can't even really work on it I have too many other things to do
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Secrets || CL16 & LH44
☆ summary: y/n hamilton is headed to the olympics and her secret boyfriend (her brothers future teammate) ends up confirming their relationship at the olympics
☆ pairing: charles leclerc x hamilton!reader
☆ fc & warnings: georgia-mae fenton & none
☆ requested: yes! thanks for the olympic gymnast idea 🫶🏻
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
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ynhamilton: quick someone tell mini me that she’s going to the olympics 🤭
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user1: AHHHHHH OMG!!! CONGRATS
roscoelovescoco: prouds of you aunties
ynhamilton: thank you my sweet sweet little baby
user2: the hamiltons are going to take over the world just wait
fernandoalo_oficial: show them how it’s done mi princesa
ynhamilton: will do my best nando 🤍
user3: beautiful , perfect , flawless
lewishamilton: that’s my girl! i can’t wait to see you shine
ynhamilton: love you big bro 🤍
user4: the best sibling duo in existence
user5: y’all see charles hiding in the likes 🫣
user6: y/n prolly giggling and kicking her feet rn
user7: girl says she has a crush on a certain ferrari driver one time and you guys won’t let her live it down 😭
user6: user7 don’t forget that one time they were caught hanging out
user7: user6 she was in the paddock for her brothers race!!
user6: idk the way he was looking at her was anything but casual user7
ynhamilton has posted to her story
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user5: YOU MADE IT
user7: style icon y/n is in the building
lewishamilton: 💪🏻 win us a medal sis
ynhamilton: win me a race brother! also give roscoe a kiss for me please - i already miss him :(
lewishamilton: he misses you too
user8: the olympics should be thanking you for participating fr
charlesleclerc: good luck mon amour ❤️
ynhamilton: thank you charlie! i wish you could be here
charlesleclerc: i know darling im sorry i cant be!
user9: brb buying this exact set as we speak
user10: mother has landed
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roscoelovescoco: we loves aunties y/n! watching froms homes but still so prouds 🇬🇧 p.s my new friend leos watches withs us
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user11: roscoe’s insta will always be one of my favorite things on the internet
user12: roscoe supporting his favorite auntie is the sweetest
lewishamilton: roscoe would be there if he could! good luck today, y/n/n 🫶🏻🇬🇧
ynhamilton: big big love to you both 🤍
user22: look at grandpa using his emojis
ynhamilton: i love you with my whole heart roscoe
roscoelovescoco: roscoe loves y/ns
user13: hold on is he talking abt leo leclerc
user6: are charles and lewis watching y/n??? together?????? no way
user9: is roscoe hard launching y/ncharles
charlesleclerc: leo is wishing y/n all the best today ❤️
ynhamilton: thank you little leo ❤️
user6: guys i swear they are together
user7: user6 im gonna hold ur hand when i say this
texts between you and charles
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ynhamilton: i’m headed to the finals! oh what a surreal feeling this is. being an olympian was and always has been a dream of mine since i was a little girl so to step on this mat and to make it this far is the blessing of a life time ✨
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user12: CONGRATS GORGEOUS
user87: hamilton hamilton hamilton
fernandoalo_oficial: proud is an understatement
ynhamilton: 🤍
lewishamilton: you’re a star
ynhamilton: that’s you mr champion
user13: how does she make everything she does look so beautiful
user14: i love seeing women succeed
charlesleclerc: truly incredible performance
ynhamilton: 🥹 thank you charlie
user6: he’s here
roscoelovescoco: yess yous are the bests in the worlds
teamgb: that’s our girl! making us proud out there y/n 🇬🇧🤍
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user98: and where are we headed mr leclerc? paris perhaps?
ynhamilton: holy moly you look incredible 🤤
charlesleclerc: merci mon coeur ❤️
user65: why you looking at me like that
fernandoalo_oficial: you better bring our girl some luck !
charlesleclerc: working on it 💪🏻
lewishamilton: see you soon mate
user23: ARE YOU GOING TO PARIS YES OR NO
user34: ohhhh you look scrumptious
user44: i already miss seeing your car go round in circles
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f1gossip: Lewis Hamilton pictured attending the Olympic gymnastics finals to support his sister y/n! the surprise of the evening is that Charles Leclerc is also in attendance and sitting with Lewis and y/n’s friends. there’s been quite a few rumblings that y/n and Charles are a couple - is this confirmation?
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user44: lewis ages like fine wine istg
user16: CHARLES LECLERC AT THE OLYMPICS?! that twitter user was right
user6: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEWWWWW IT!! Y/NCHARLES FOR LIFE
user8: maybe they’re just bonding before next season
user65: forza ferrari!!!
user10: odd place to choose for a bonding event
user21: idk if i even want mother with that man
user17: out of all the drivers he’s not a bad choice
user18: the english and monegasque royal family’s coming together ,, it’s so beautiful
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ynhamilton: regardless of the outcome i’m proud of me, i’m proud of my teammates and i’m proud to represent team gb. obviously a medal would have been nice but when you have competition like THE simone biles just being here is a win. thank you to lewie, yourbff1, charles and yourbff2 for making the trip to paris to cheer me on 🤍🇬🇧
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user28: you’re still a medalist in my book
yourbff1: my bestie is that girl ✨
user29: the hamilton genes are insane
yourbff2: you are the most incredible, talented, amazing, perfect, gorgeous, slay, demure woman in the whole world
lewishamilton: proud big brother moment! was such an amazing experience to get to cheer you on and experience the atmosphere. i love you sissy ❤️
ynhamilton: wouldn’t be here without the support from the best big brother in the world 🤍
user37: that leo is gorgeous
simonebiles: you have so much to be proud of! great job out there y/n 🤍
ynhamilton: you have no idea how much that means to me!! thank you simone 🥹
charlesleclerc: i think red is your color 😉
charlesleclerc: but for real, félicitations ma belle
ynhamilton: i think it might be my color too 😏
user6: omgomgomgomgokgogm
nicorosberg: congratulations to my favorite hamilton
ynhamilton: thank you nico 🤭
user33: HAHAH NICO BFFR
georgerussell63: you made us proud y/n/n!!
ynhamilton: georgie!!!! i 🤍 u
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charlesleclerc: was lucky enough to take the prettiest girl in all of paris out last night ❤️
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user19: if charles had to be taken off the market im at least glad it’s y/n
roscoelovescoco: yous betters be goods to my favorites aunties or i’ll bites you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
charlesleclerc: don’t worry roscoe, i’ll treat her like the princess she is 🤍 (leo would also bite me, he likes her more than me so it’s ok)
ynhamilton: you’ll be the first to hear abt it if he doesn’t roscoe 😘
user13: get him roscoe!
user56: the way their outfits match ,, please
ynhamilton: the best date ever 🤍
charlesleclerc: je t'aime mon olympien [i love you my olympian]
user18: the hard launch to end all hard launches
maxverstappen1: oh thank god. now we can finally play padel not in secret
ynhamilton: is that all you care about max
maxverstappen1: ….. no
user6: i hope you know i’ve been ride or die for you two for months now
ynhamilton: i know girly
user6: ok wow idk how to act uhhh hi y/n 😭😭😭
user34: i mean look at them im sick. i cant wait for lewis and y/n to be at ferrari next season
user87: the girlfriend effect already taking hold i see ,, that is a fine suit charles
scuderiaferrari: we’re glad red suits her so well 😉
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
a/n: thank you for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated! still making my way through my requests, thank you for being patient with me :)
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#cl16 x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smau#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#lh44 x reader#charles leclerc social media au#lh44 imagine#lh44 smau#charles leclerc imagine#lh44 x y/n#cl16 x y/n#cl16 fic#cl16 fluff#cl16 fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fanfic
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The Good Omens Musical Masterpost🎵❤
How it started :)
Some time before 2013: Vicki Larnach, the australian composer and lyricist, read the Good Omens book, imagined figures dancing on stage with brilliant music and thought, ‘Ah, I’m gonna ask Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman if I can turn it into a musical.’ and sent an email to the publishers. The next day she got an email saying, ‘We don’t want a musical but Terry’s coming to Australia, so come and say hello and tell us what you got.’
Rob Wilkins came down to meet Vicki and Jim Hare - Vicki's husband and writer - and took them to meet Terry. They spent an hour and a half with them where Terry asked ‘piercing questions’, had tea with them and they showed Terry a song that Vicki wrote (about the Chattering Nuns). Terry said to Rob, ‘Rob, write and email to Neil, “Dear Neil, this is Terry. I’m sitting in front of two hippies from Sydney and they want to make a musical out of Good Omens and I’m tempted to let them do it.”’ which was the best email they ever heard and then Terry said, ‘Okay, you have me curious.’ - it was because of the Nuns song which sounded like the book. ‘I’m gonna give you six months, come back with a first draft libretto and five songs.’
They then sent it to Terry who sent it to Gaiman. Terry said, ‘I really like it, you’re moving story, you’re doing all the right things, but where’s showstopper, where’s the toe-tapper, you know I need people to go to intermission just snapping their fingers with the song they just can’t get out of their head, and I haven’t heard that.’ - and they realized that they were so busy serving the story they forgot to do the wow-factor, but found it very encouraging from Terry that he wanted to make it better.
They went through the whole book again to find a centrepiece - and they found it when Warlock is growing up and Aziraphale and Crowley are with him, and spent months working just on that one thing and called ‘All Living Things’ [the song at the start of this post :)] which is a line from the book.*’ Terry gave that song to a person he knew and asked him to play it to his wife with no context and when the next day the person said that his wife woke up still singing the song Terry said to Vicki and Jim: ‘Well, that’s what I asked you to do.’
* [“This here’s Brother Slug,” the gardener would tell him, “and this tiny little critter is Sister Potato Weevil. Remember, Warlock, as you walk your way through the highways and byways of life’s rich and fulsome path, to have love and reverence for all living things.” “Nanny says that wivving fings is fit onwy to be gwound under my heels, Mr. Fwancis,” said little Warlock, stroking Brother Slug, and then wiping his hand conscientiously on his Kermit the Frog overall.]
Vicki and Jim got the permission to being adapting it as a musical in 2013.
Vicki and Jim on it a couple of years ‘fumbling about’, took it as far as they could and decided to bring another person into it: Jay-James Moody
In 2015, Jay James-Moody joined the collaboration initially as a dramaturge and directorial eye, eventually evolving into co-book writer. Vicki, James and Jay have continued to evolve through countless more revisions and a number of private development readings with the support, time and talent of numerous wonderful Australian performers testing the material.
In November 2017, the musical was presented in its then-current form and entirety for the first time before an audience of over 500 eager attendees. The cast included Luke Joslin, Lachlan O’Brien, Nancye Hayes, Barry Quin, Brett O’Neill, Lauren McKenna, Nicholas Craddock, Paul Capsis, Rob Johnson, Amy Lehpamer, Debora Krizak, Blake Erickson, Nat Jobe, Ana Maria Belo, Jordan Hare, Bella Thomas, Anthony Abrakmanov and Samson Hyland.
Following a rapturous response to this reading it continued to be refined and developed.
In 2019, ten days before the show came out they did their last presentation, since then they’ve been to London and shown a videotape of that workshop to Gaiman and Rob Wilkins which was ‘a pretty heartstopping experience’.
Differences between the musical and the book
The ending of the musical is a bit different.
It opens with the burning of Agnes Nutter and Aziraphale and Crowley are introduced there.
Act One ends with them ‘essentially breaking up’ because of a huge argument and they dissolve their friendship, Act Two starts with the first time they meet.
The Future?
What is the future for the musical: in 2021 they said that they need to work on some things and then they hope to do another run, initially in Australia.
There will be a CD of the soundtrack available when the show is produced in it’s full version.
In 2024 on insta they said that it is in "complicated process of rights to stage Good Omens" and "We appreciate your support and patience of the progress or seeming lack therof, of Good Omens the musical but we assure you, we will bring you the show in the next few years."
Videos
Vicki, Jim and Jay talking 46min about the musical (this video was shown at the Ineffable Con 3 in 2021 :))
Sizzle Reel 6min
Anathema singing The Perfect Place
Crowley calling Dagon to check on the hellhound
Shadwell and Newt
Aziraphale vanishing Hastur 👀
Links
Webpage
Instagram - a lot of more bts videos and pics :)
How to support?
Subsribe to the instagram page and like and comment that you want the musical on posts :)❤. If you want to be a sponsor or donor, there is contact on their webpage.
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Down Home 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: The world's most famous heroes walk into a small town diner and change your life.
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers
Note: Because of this.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3
Love you all to Jupiter and back. Take care. 💖
It’s a slow day. Every day is slow out in Tumble Down. The township’s name tells the whole story. Everything there is in decline. It’s hard to imagine there was ever a time when the people weren’t tiny and forgotten in the hubbub of the bigger world. Since the mines closed and the canning factory was outsourced, it feels even smaller.
Smaller isn’t so bad. It’s simpler. You all know each other’s names and faces. You say hi and how are you and do what needs to be done. Simple is, simple as.
You here there isn’t much to do in most small towns. Not for fun or for work. You’re one of the lucky ones. You got a job down at the diner in your sophomore year. It helped pay for your daddy’s new engine and since then, it keeps you all afloat in the rising waters of disparity as they close in on Tumble Down.
You hum to the old radio that sits on the shelf you make sure to dust. The speakers crackle from time to time and the signal gets wonky in storm season, but the music’s never bad. It’s the classic stuff that always played in your mother’s kitchen.
You wipe down another table. Not because it needs it, just because it’s something to do. The day has been long and listless. Even the breakfast rush was lower than usual.
Darnell, the cook, whistles along from the back. Everyone knows he isn’t as mean as he looks. He just likes his space.
As you go back to the counter and lean on it, staring at the ticking clock, a roar cuts through the distance. You blink and look up, narrowing your eyes at the dusty country road outside. Wind rustles through the tall wheat in the field opposite and the noise rumbles closer and closer.
A man pulls in a motorbike. He’s going so fast that he has to circle the gravel lot before he can slow down. It’s not Lenny and his prized Harley but another man on a more modern-looking mount. Not far behind, another motorcycle zips through and the riders straddle their bikes as the survey the restaurant.
You narrow your eyes. You probably need glasses but you make do. The last time you got your eyes checked, you didn’t have enough for the frames.
The one man wears blue and red, an odd helmet on his head. Not a helmet at all but a sort of mask. The other man has dark hair to his chin and a beard to match. He’s all in black but his left arm shines with gold ripples. Not a sleeve, an arm, made of metal.
“Oh my lord,” you murmur in shock, “Darnell!” You holler over your shoulder, “you’re not gonna believe this.” You turn to the window as he pokes his head around, “not sure I do myself. Tell me my eyes aren’t lyin’.”
He looks above your head, an easy task for the mammoth cook. He hums and swirls around his spatula. “Thems those boys on the news. The one that was in the old war. Grandad’s battle.”
“I’m not going crazy with boredom?” You bubble.
He snorts. It’s as close to a laugh as you get from him. You spin back and hurry around the counter to grab a pair of menus. Still, you don’t want to seem too eager. You put down the menus and fiddle with a napkin holder instead.
The bell over the door jingles and swipe up the menus and turn. You really can’t believe it’s them. Yet, as Captain America removes his cowl, you’re certain. They look just like they do on the TV. Even with your sight, you can tell.
“Hello, fellas, how are you doin’ today?”
The dark-haired one, the Winter Soldier, glances at the other, his cheek dimpling, “well... we’re... uh...”
“We’re doing great,” Steve Rogers answers brightly. “Starving. You guys serve bacon? My buddy’s dying for some.”
“Um, yes, sirs, yes. Can I sit ya down?” You ask, hugging the menus closer.
“Please,” the Captain accepts as the other man stays silent and pensive, his eyes wandering down to the coffee stain on your apron.
“Just here,” you sweep away and wave them on with you. You stop beside the nicest booth and lay down a menu on each side, “have a seat.”
They do just as you bid. The blond puts his cowl on the table and unhooks the shield from his back to lay on the far end of the seat. He smooths back the sweaty strands of hair as his companion stretches his metal fingers. You sway nervously by the table, twitching as you remind yourself how to do your job.
“Well, can I get ya started with coffee? You look beat from the road.” You beam with the smile Mr. Welk says could outshine the sun.
“Not just the road,” the dark-haired one mutters as he rolls his shoulder. The one that connects to his real arm. “I’ll take one, please.”
“Can I get an orange juice, please,” the Captain asks.
“Course ya can. I’ll be right back. You have a look at the specials and give it a think,” you bounce and spin around.
You go to pour the orange juice and a cup of black coffee. Darnell lingers by the window. He only ever really appears to put a plate up but he watches the new arrivals.
You bring their drinks and step back, clasping your hands behind you.
“Did ya need cream or sugar for your coffee, sir?” You ask.
“Black’s fine,” he assures.
“No need for the sirs. Steve, Bucky,” Captain America insists, “we’re off duty.”
“Right, sorry about that, ssss...Steve,” you correct yourself. “You need some more time?”
“Think I’m decided,” Bucky intones, “what about you?”
“Set,” Steve confirms, “I’ll have the sunny side up with toast and sausage. Can I get some fruit on the side as well, please?”
He hands over the menu and you take it as you hold your smile. Your cheeks ache. Not because you have to force it but because you can’t stop. This is the most exciting thing to happen in Tumble Down ever. If Darnell wasn’t there, no one would believe you.
“Overeasy, bacon, extra bacon too, and some french toast, and uh... home fries.” Bucky offers up the second menu, “please and thank you.”
“Alrighty,” you preen, “I’ll put your order in.”
“Got it,” Darnell growls over the empty diner.
“He’s got good hearing,” you giggle nervously as you look between the men. “Ummmm, sorry, I’ll leave ya be.”
“You’re not bothering,” Steve assures. “I can see you’re dying to ask.”
He gives a gentle smile.
“Nah, oh, gosh. I’m sure ya get it all the time. I don’t wanna be one of those,” you put your hands up. “Really, you all look like you could use the peace and quiet.”
“Well, actually, I’ve been stuck with this meathead for days,” Bucky scoffs, “so please, I’d love to hear someone else’s voice.”
You laugh again. They’re funnier than you expect. They always look so serious on the TV.
“What... what are y’all doing here in Tumble Down? It’s a bit far from... anywhere.” You ask sheepishly.
“Tumble Down? Is that what it’s called?” Steve scratches his neck above his stained collar. “Well, we couldn’t get a signal so we’ve just been riding through. Saw the sign down the way and figured we’d get a bite.”
“He’s lying. He was falling asleep on his bike,” Bucky teases.
“Sure,” Steve shakes his head. “Only ‘cause I’m tired of you.”
You giggle again, “I thought y’all were friends.”
“Friends, partners, cursed with each other, have your pick,” Bucky snorts.
“He’s playing,” Steve says. “Look, we’re boring. Despite what you think. We’re a couple of old men bickering with each other. What about you? What about Tumble Down?”
“Ah, nothing really, sir. Steve,” you squeeze the menus tight at the edges. “Nothing going on since the coal law and that. Everyone’s all but run out. All but us.”
“Just you? Your family?” Steve wonders.
“Jesus, Steve, nosy much?” Bucky says over the brim of his mug.
“Sorry. He’s right. Like I said. Crotchety old man. I talk to the pigeons.”
You laugh again, “oh my, you are a hoot!” You slap your thigh emphatically, “I’m still my ma and pa. It’s just the three of us. They need help with the animals and that.”
“Animals?” Steve wonders, his posture shifting towards you.
“Chickens, cows. They got a farm. Was my grandpa’s. And his ma kept it going after he didn’t come home from... well, you’d know more about that time than me, I think.” You give a forlorn look to the floor.
“Oh, I’m so sorry about your grandfather. Great grandfather,” he corrects himself.
“Lotta good men gone,” Bucky mulls grimly.
“Yeah, my great granny said as much. I wouldn’t know though, but I heard the stories,” you dare to look at them again. “Sorry to bring up the bad memories.”
“Nah,” Bucky waves you off casually. “I got this nifty arm outta it.”
“And I got a shield so, you know, not all losses,” Steve chuckles.
“I s’pose,” you agree. “I’m gonna check on that food for ya. You good with your coffee?”
Bucky raises the mug, “delicious.”
You nod and turn with a swish of your skirt. You go up to the window and look over the ledge. “How’s it going, Darnell?”
“Going. I’m happy it ain’t Raylene here. She’s got a mouth on her, don’t she? Them sort don’t deserve that trouble,” he tisks.
“They’re nice. And Raylene is too. She’s just... Raylene,” you say, “can I help with anything?”
“I don’t wanna be rude but I’m tired of tellin’ ya to stay outta my kitchen. You know the grill likes to spit,” he shakes his head. “You go, I’ll let ya know when it’s ready.”
“Alright,” you back away and turn back.
Steve and Bucky lean over the table, their voices low as they chat. As you move around behind the counter, they both sit up and the former clears his throat. You smile as you take the cloth from your apron pocket and wipe the already clean counter.
As the radio buzzes, you hum without thinking. Stevie Ray Vaughan’s smoky voice mingles with the emotion plucked through electric strings. Your dad’s a big fan. He has old tapes with concerts on them and even went to one himself.
The bell rings and you nearly jump out of your shoes. You turn and scoop up the plates as you thank Darnell. He grumbles that he’s going out to have a smoke; his code for having a Tootsie Pop by the backdoor.
You bring the meals over to the table and set them down before the men. Their gazes make you sweat. It’s all a little more intense with no one else there.
“Thank you,” Steve says and Bucky echoes him.
“Not at all. Anything else? Water? Ketchup?”
“It all looks great as is,” Steve says, “you got a nice voice.”
“Oh, really? Ha, I was just humming out of tune. Sorry if I was too loud.”
“Not at all,” Bucky picks up his fork as he leans forward. He tilts his head. “You know this one?”
“Sure do. It’s Fleetwood Mac,” you answer. “One my all times.”
He grins and nods as he looks at Steve. Steve watches you with a smile of his own.
“Do you sing?” He asks.
“Me? Only in my shower or to the chickens. They usually hide in the henhouse then.” You tinkle with laughter.
“Ah,” Steve nods.
“But if... if ya really wanna suffer, I could try it,” you smile, “but uh, you know, Stevie Nicks, she’s one of a kind.”
“I’ve had worse,” Steve says.
You look between him and Bucky. You chew your lip and think. You follow the song as you try to recognise which verse it is. You squint and perk up as you catch your place.
“You just let me know when you’ve had enough,” you say before you start. Not only can you tell your pa that you met the super soldiers, you can tell him you sang for them. It’ll be a nice bit of excitement for the dinner table.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!steve rogers#dark!bucky barnes#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#marvel#mcu#captain america#down home#winter soldier#avengers
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Choke On The Sun
PAIRING: John Price x F!Reader
SYNOPSIS: You'd known John ever since the Academy, and even after losing touch, the love you had for one another was never gone. Like a snake, it had stayed hidden in unseen places. But it was always there.
WORDCOUNT: 13.8k
WARNINGS: Blood, intense gore, torture, detailed descriptions of torture i.e. electrocution, loss of a finger, gunshot wounds, knife wounds, discussion of torture, canon-typical violence, death, near-death experiences, guns, weapons, abductions, betrayals, intended for mature audiences, happy ending, etc.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
You remember a story you’d been told when you were a rookie—fresh off the cut and eager-eyed with far fewer scars. A more of a glass-half-full type of outlook on life, unknowing of what you’d experience during your years with the SAS: what choices you would have to make.
It went something like this.
There was a herd of deer that had jumped over the side of a bridge. On either end of that bridge, there were two trucks with their high beams on—not moving but sitting there; the deer got pressured. Spooked. One by one they just…hopped over and died on the rocks below—no noise above the breaking of bone and the clatter of antlers shattering to pieces.
You have to wonder if it was the fault of the first one who had jumped over for leading the rest to a quick end, or the drivers of the cars just trying to get where they needed to go; ignorant of the way they’d been ogling to see the panic in wide, black eyes. Either way, a whole herd of ten met their fate and left their bodies to feed the larvae and the birds.
The story had been told over drinks at a pub, at the time you’d taken an interest in it with no more than a slow comment of ‘poor things’ before you’d brought your glass to your lips. You don't know why you’re thinking about it now.
The timing could have been more opportune.
You send a bullet into the man’s kneecap, hearing the bone disintegrate and the flesh open like a flower. His scream follows, loud and hoarse—sobbing trapped behind a bitten tongue that drips blood down his chin.
Hand snapping up, you grasp the lower half of his face with a grunt, head shoving itself forward until you lock onto fluttering eyes and get consumed by a whining sob.
“I asked you a question,” you lick your lips, tasting sweat as it slithers down your skin. Your voice is slow and even, grip tight. With a shove, you push back the man’s face, wrist limp with the Basilisk as you wipe at your nose with it, unblinking, when you get to your full height.
The room wasn’t anything different from a million other black sites you’d been to. A single chair where your mark sits tied up, a desk that had been pushed to the wall, and a single door placed into the cracking foundations of a concrete wall. No windows. No vents.
Hotter than hell, too, and that place was something you were acutely in tune with.
“Anthony,” you say, waving your free hand as the scent of blood gets stronger, pools of it already on the hard floor. “I’m gonna call you Tony, alright?”
Tony yells, wrenching his arms against the zip-ties and screaming until his voice is hoarse.
“Damn you! I told you I don’t know anything!” He sobs. “My leg—I can’t feel my leg, oh, God it hurts.”
You frown, glancing at the door.
“Stop lying to me,” you look back, eyes unblinking in the low light. “You still have one left—tell me where your buyer is and I let you keep the ability to walk upright with a cane.”
“I don’t know his name—!”
“I don’t need a name, Tony,” you growl, irritated. “I need a location.”
“Copenhagen!” He wails, body spasming and hair dancing atop his head. “The warehouse is in Copenhagen, please, that’s all I know!”
You blink.
“Denmark?” You mutter, brows furrowing.
“Fuck!” Tony screams long, his skull tilting forward as he releases his guts to the floor through quick gasps. Backing up a step to stay out of the spray, you watch him silently; thinking. The flood of the man’s crimson fluids ripples. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Denmark,” grumbling to yourself once more, you shake your head and sigh aggressively. “Of course.”
Without another glance, you turn and exit the room, pushing your Basilisk into its holster as the gear on your chest clinks lightly like the sound of rain hitting a metal roof. The door closes behind you, voice calling to one of the guards as he looks up quickly. His face is pale. Tony’s wails still echo out; water filling a bucket.
“Get a medic,” is what you settle with—slipping past on a fleet foot and new intel to pass on to Laswell. She’ll be intrigued, no doubt.
One step closer, your mind hisses to you. Just a little bit longer.
It’s too late to gain a conscious now.
Emmett Kinsman had been dodging you for years—dodging the Task Force—but with one of his suppliers giving away a location you’d been unable to pin, there was hope for a swift resolution to this mess.
The radio on your chest sizzles to life.
“Hart, sit-rep. How’s it lookin’ on the black site.” Kate’s American accent leaks into the earpiece attached to you, the cord looping the back of your neck and inserted into the shell; a device of black metal and plastic.
“I have a location for Kinsman. Copenhagen,” you ease out, moving a finger to the earpiece and pressing. Glancing at the rows and rows of doors in this endless hallway of dark smoke and obsidian mirrors—you’re eager to get your boots to the ground. Your other hand snatches at the rag swinging from your belt, taking it out and rubbing at your face with it until the stain of oil and flecks of blood smear like frosting on a cake. “Where are the boys? I need to be wheels-up to meet them ASAP.”
“Coming to you.”
“They’re here?” Your face twists as the words settle in, confused. “Why? Thought they were tracking another lead in Romania.”
Kate’s voice is smooth in your ear, moving like water as you turn a corner, stuffing your rag back into your belt.
“Are you surprised?” The woman jokes in a monotone; you’d only taken it as such because you knew her dry state of humor. “Really, Hart, you know he can’t stop until you’re back at his side. I was going to tell you sooner, but you were…occupied.”
Your feet pause for a moment at the beginning of her sentence, instinctual heat moving the length of your neck until you clench your jaw and continue onward at a slightly slower pace—eyes narrowed on the floor ahead of you.
“It isn’t like that, Kate,” you mutter. A low hum echoes the line and you fight a scowl as a group of soldiers walk past. Itching at your forearm, you shake your head. “John just likes having everyone together on missions like these. If it had been different, I’m sure he would have told me to fly back to them regardless of the intel. We’re tight on time.”
“I’ve known you both for more years than I can remember,” Laswell sighs. “Don’t try that with me, Captain.” You frown, clicking your tongue. “They’ll be arriving on the tarmac—get ready for a quick exit. We need Kinsman by month’s end.”
“Copy,” you utter, removing your hand from the earpiece and glaring ahead of you. A still-air silence envelopes the hallway, the only sound of your boots to the concrete and the reverberation that booms after.
It was so quiet here.
John Price—Captain Price—and yourself had a… complicated history. You’d joined up together; gotten through SAS selection neck-and-neck until time and its grubby fingers had forced your lives in different directions. Like two vines of reaching ivy, it had only been three years ago that you’d seen the other again, though you’d heard stories as you’re sure he had about you.
Hart: not the kind that beats but the kind that bleats, you had to explain to most—you weren’t unknown to the darker side of the job and the people that specialized in it. Your file was stretched with so much black ink that when you’d gotten the call on your phone, an unknown number, you’d recognized the gruff voice behind it and the first question you’d asked was how the hell he’d gotten clearance to track you down.
“No hello, then, Hart?”
“Not one for pleasantries, John. Explain. Quickly.”
“Business as always.” He’s wasted no time, voice going to a low grumble over the line that day. “Laswell took in a favor. You’ve been busy, Love…Room for one more joint-Op?”
It hadn’t panned out to only ‘one more joint-Op’.
After the mission was over, it had been raining on base. The sky had shed tears from clouds deeper than the gray shades of your gear, splattering packed dirt and concrete. Above your head, the thin overhang off of the armory door had spared you some of it, but when the wind had shifted your clothes absorbed specks of water like spots on a fawn. Your eyes had been looking out—expression open.
When the man exited the building and came up beside you, you both didn’t speak for a long time. You had been aware of his form, devoid of vest and gear, while yours was still layered with it to the utmost degree. You’d expected to leave that night—a good old-fashioned Irish Goodbye with a C-17 already waiting for you to board. To carry you off to another hellish deed done with ravaging cruelty for the sake of people who would never even know you existed.
The storm had stopped you…or, maybe something else had.
“Good to see you again, Hart,” John had stated, still not looking over at you as his arms had crossed, feet situating themselves. “Been too long.”
You had stayed silent—watching. The drain across the street was flooded. Sticks and leaves stuck at the drain as a whirlpool formed; only dangerous to bugs and the bits of garbage blown in by the wind.
Only after the wind shifts again did you speak.
“And what has John Price been up to in that time?” Your eyes had slid to stare, piercing in the low illumination of the armory’s outside light.
A huff of a chuckle, the one you’d remembered in the days of selection—coated in mud from crawling through man-made trenches and a sharp smirk of a snap when the barbed wire had grazed his back.
There were too many stories here. Too many. So many it became impossible to wonder what could have been and what couldn’t—all that existed were the little moments of fondness.
The two of you were nothing else but souls long past redemption; stuck on that knife’s edge and waiting for the hand to shake and send you through it.
You are made of memories.
“That’s a story told over bourbon,” John’s lips had flickered, and you’d blinked slowly, head tilting. “Not anything worth reliving, yeah?”
“Everything is relivable, Captain. You just need to find a reason as to why.”
The man had nodded his head your way, conceding with his blank eyes ahead to the rain. A rumble of distant thunder had flown out, making your ears twitch. You couldn’t stop watching him now that you had the chance—the brunette strands; the fatigues, and that accent. The muscle you don’t remember him having in that specific place all those years ago. The wrinkles on his forehead from age and stress are shown in yours as a mirror.
Tall; formidable.
There was a tension in the air that you chose not to dwell on—the same that had been brewing for as long as you’d known him.
“I want you to join up with me,” the sudden comment had made your body tense, eyes snapping away. In your pockets, your fingers twitch with surprise.
“Join?”
“Thought I’d catch you before you disappeared again, yeah?” A sheen of slight embarrassment is over your skin. John chuckles again. “Extend a formal offer—Laswell was the one who suggested it.”
“Well,” you’d huffed, licking your lips. “Now I’m surely not accepting.”
“Let me fuckin’ finish, Love,” John’s lips were pulled in a slight smirk—beard shifting. A pause as the wind whips again, shaking the trees before he grunts. “One-Four-One. My Task Force. Been thinking I’d need someone like you, but I knew you’d never agree to it.”
“Oh?” Your brow raises.
“Not bloody stupid.” He sighs. “Thought I’d ask anyway. Give you a proper goodbye if you weren’t so keen on handing it out.”
“I don’t like goodbyes,” you mutter, hearing John’s feet shift—his boots scraping.
“I know.” It’s low and even—not a prod or a dig. An observation.
A hand is moved out to you, hovering.
There isn’t any need for words when you glance down at it, and then up at him; staring into those blue eyes that so perfectly illustrate the hues of a roaring river, hidden away in the confines of a verdant forest.
A slow smile pulls at your lips, and you see the corner of the man’s eyes soften.
“Knew I’d get one out of you again,” he mutters as you slip your hand into his, a firm and all-encompassing heat of flesh and care.
“Don’t get used to it, John.” Shaking his hand, you smirk, legs shifting.
“Never,” he chuffs, squeezing your limb.
You don’t know why you stayed under that overhang with him that night. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to explain it as you had looked up and seen the C-17 fly off without you in its cargo hold, hands resting on your vest collar and blue eyes watching you, slightly narrowed.
You never even verbally told him you were sticking around…it had happened like a stray cat under the porch of your childhood home; taken in and cared for. Just the same, John never mentioned it beyond paperwork.
Shaking your head, you blink back to the black site, turning that last corner and making it to one of the exits. Pushing the metal-reinforced door open, you shift outside and move a hand to cover the glare of the setting sun from your eyes, grunting.
Laswell’s voice peaks back in as you jog toward the far-off body of a whirling plane, three figures just managing to walk down the ramp.
“Hart? It’s Laswell.”
“Copy,” you say, knees taking the brunt of the heavy items you carry in pouches and have strapped to your form. “What is it?”
“The Task Force is a go for Denmark—when you get there, I need everyone searching; we can’t lose him again.”
“Affirm. I’m on it, Kate.” You breathe. “John and I’ll get him. It’s personal for us, you know that.”
“That I do. Make sure to keep your heads on with this, Hart. Out.”
You lick your lips, nodding even if she can’t see you.
Slowing as you near the plane, friendly smiles spark up from the two Sergeants. Gaz comes over, grasping at your shoulder and speaking above the engine behind him.
“Ma’am! Good to have you back.” Soap chuckles, tilting his head your way as you grasp Kyle’s forearm—squeezing in greeting with a twinkle in your eye.
“Surprised to see us?” The Scot calls.
You scoff. “Laswell gave you up.”
“Damn,” Kyle moves back, fixing the cap atop his head and glancing back at his fellow Sergeant. Simon nods from behind the two to which you respond in like. “She bloody betrayed us.”
“Not as much as Kinsman,” the mood sours; lips thinning as you speak firmly. “Where’s John?”
“Right here,” the man in question comes down the ramp, blue eyes meet yours. A second of inspection passes, eyes from both parties flickering up and down forms for any mistreatment—any ailments. “Kate already told me. We’re leaving now that we have you.”
Bumping Simon’s fist with yours as you pass him, you ascend the ramp, Soap muttering under his breath about the flight time from behind.
Standing beside John, you pause like a bird, eyes half narrowed. “You didn’t have to pick me up, you know? I could have gotten another plane.”
The man the same rank as you hums, making sure the men are all inside and taking one last look out to the black site, eyes missing nothing down to the concrete structure to the lights that will soon illuminate the pure nothingness of the fields of this area.
“Wait time would have put us back.” Tiny eyes blink, a hand coming up to rest on his collar as his face shifts to you. “You good?”
“Always,” you mutter without hesitation. “Nothing from Romania, then?”
He grumbles, clenching his jaw and taking in your words. “Negative.”
A silence settles in which you quirk your brow—a small flicker of a smirk makes him turn away and stalk back into the hull, grunting in annoyance. You follow on silent feet.
“That’s it? It must have been horrible, then. Care to explain?”
“Get in your seat, Captain.”
You hold back a low chuckle, walking beside him until you both come to the back of the plane—easing back into the hard plastic, you huff as you clip in your seatbelt.
It’s all relative silence until the large metal beast is in the air; everyone's bodies shifting as the floor evens out. John and you take long breaths and, feeling the occasional jostle of the plane, you occupy yourself by picking at the dried blood all over your hands as the flight begins—Tony’s blood.
Blue eyes blink down at you, watching from the side.
“He know anything important?” You stifle a yawn on your lips, one hand coming up to cover the open-jawed expression of tiredness.
Glancing, you shrug with a slow response of, “Only a location. Even then I don’t know if it’ll pan out like we want it to, John.”
Everyone had been hoping for more, but they also knew that you were the best at interrogations and information retrieval. If you had called it that the man only knew a city and nothing else, John wasn’t one to question you. He knew better.
A large hand shifts to grasp your right bloody one, picking it up and bringing it to his lap. You let him do it without protest, shoulders loosening at the roughness of his calluses moving across yours until the familiar ritual begins to take part like a black mass.
Fingers twitching, you hear a hum as John takes out a rag from his pocket, opening it with a flick of his wrist. Moments later, the water bottle on the seat next to him is taken and the droplets that are left are scattered like rain over the fabric until they absorb.
“All dirty, Love,” he grumbles as your eyes soften, watching him trace the lines of your palm with the wet rag—dabbing away the beads of red. Watching, you listen as he continues. “We’ll figure it out, eh?”
Blue locks with you, holding your gaze until the permanent set of his brows slowly loosens. “We will,” he reaffirms firmly.
“...I should have shot him when I had the chance,” you whisper to John, words low and tone nothing more than a mouse’s murmur; a small pebble hitting the ground. “Don’t lie and say it wasn’t my fault.”
“You’re going to fucking ruin yourself with that, Hart.” He advises, his cleaning of blood coming to a slow halt. “You did what you thought was best,” John leans in closer, not blinking as you try to move your head away with a half-hidden scoff. A damp hand grabs lightly at your chin, shifting it back as you blink in mild shock into John’s face. He doesn’t falter. “It’s all any of us can do, yeah?”
As if it were nothing, he lets you go and shifts his focus back to cleaning your hand. You watch for a long moment, oblivious to the elbows hitting sides from farther down the hull, quick glances tossed between Sergeants and a Lieutenant who quirks a brow under his mask, huffing a sound in his throat.
“If I had,” you force back the stutter in your voice. “More people would still be alive.”
“Maybe,” John tilts his head, the rag brushing the length of your fingers. “Maybe not. We don’t know that, do we? No use wasting our breath talking about it then. What matters, Hart, is how we fix this.”
You sigh, repressing a shiver as his thumb brushes scars and blemishes, moving like moss over stone.
“And we don’t leave our bloody problems for the next poor bastard, do we?” You puff air from your nose, shaking your head at the smirked comment. You watch John’s beard move with it—taking in the crinkling of his eyes and the way his knee hits yours.
“Wonderful pep-talk, Captain.” You lean your head back against the netted sides of the aircraft, letting your eyes flutter shut; oblivious to the way he watches you. “The service is lost on you—therapist is right up your alley.”
“Fuck’s sake,” John scoffs. “I’d sooner go back to the academy than that.”
“The food was utter shite, wasn’t it?” You agree.
“No need to bring it up,” John comments lowly, amusement thick in his words.
You don’t know when you fell asleep, but you do know that the pressure around your limb stayed there for a long while—the rag moving over every sliver of skin until only the base was left behind; like a painter creating an ocean scene, shrouded in mist, every bit of red was gone.
Your dreams are plagued by Emmett Kinsman. His sharp face; his sly eyes and his knack for being undetected.
He’d been a part of your and John’s class in the Royal Military Academy—when all was done, he’d graduated and begun to serve in the 22nd SAS Regiment just as the both of you had. There was never much interaction there, beyond shared drinks and a few good words, a single operation, but the bonds of brotherhood run deep. If given the chance over any deployment or service, John or yourself would have given your lives for him—for the boy you’d bled and persevered with to a point of utter loyalty akin to beasts; unrestrained by any threat of violence, sharp attitude, or past faults.
And in the end, he’d thrown that all away to get into bed with terrorists.
Location: London, England
Time: 1718
Operation: ‘Purple Cloth’
Your eyes rest behind the glass of the bookstore, gazing out over the street from the second floor with a level of new-found skill and a surety in yourself. Fresh off the cut, you aren’t overly eager for this, but you’re assured in your abilities.
There can be no failure.
Emmett is down below, sitting at a café and sipping tea as John is stationed at a building farther down the street; waiting. Another man, directly relaying information to Emmett, is at the café as well, sitting in the corner reading a newspaper and facing the individual you’re supposed to follow. Only the four of you for this, and you’re not overly familiar with half of them. John was your only shining grace.
“Target’s getting the bill,” you shift your head into the collar of your shirt, muttering. “He’ll move soon.”
“He carrying?” John’s voice slithers in, a soft murmur.
You stare, expression lax at the large body that shifts and stands with a tight shirt on, waving off the barista when she tells him to have a good day. “If I had to guess? Negative. Nothing big—no bulge at his spine. At the very opposite end, I’d say an X13 could be concealed and accessed via a slit in the pant’s pocket and in a holster at his thigh. They’re baggy enough for it, but the draw time’ll be longer. Drug runners are sloppy.”
John grunts, and you address Emmett. “How are we doing, Mate?”
A smooth, suave, tone moves into your ear. “Not too bad, Sweet Thing. Else, I'd be better if you were sharing a drink with me before I disappear.”
“Only in your imagination, Kinsman,” John interrupts, unimpressed drawl taking your attention. “Keep on it.”
“I swear I rank the same as you, Price. Where do you get off ordering me around like your dog?” The comment is so easily dismissed as a joke between comrades that there’s no hostility there.
“Since I was given oversight,” the amusement is easily taken in John’s voice. “I’m the one keeping your arse alive, eh?”
The other addition to your team speaks up, a voice that in the future you’ve already long forgotten. He says to cut the chatter, and you have to agree.
Emmett and the target are nearing an alley.
“I’m heading down,” you utter, already turning and heading to the stairs, swiftly moving down them and exiting the building.
“Copy,” John’s voice fizzles the line. “I’ll head them off.”
“Emmett,” you move to link up with the fourth member of the team as he joins at your side, both of you sharking a glance and a jerk of your heads. “Keep him away from civilians. We can’t deal with casualties in this populated of an area.”
“He won’t have a chance to shoot them,” the comment makes your brows furrow, the tone not a cocky gloat but rather...quiet. A moment of silence wafts out. “What in the bloody hell is that supposed to mean, Kinsman?” You frown tightly, your gut swirling with something unidentifiable. The X12 in the back of your baggy sweatshirt is heavy—suddenly ten times more so.
In the corner of your eye, you see John far across the way shift, leaning before on a trash can, now standing upright. You swear you lock eyes with him, both gifted in all sense when it comes to war. Perhaps it was ingrained into both of your DNA—a knowledge of all things deadly; of threats unseen. Some primal and horrible understanding spanning back to when man had first raised a fist to another.
“Oi,” your voice pushes. “What does that mean?” Feet pivoting, you move closer to the alley where the light shade of hair disappears.
The line is silent.
Silent before a loud gunshot rings.
Birds scatter, and you instinctively duck down, hand snapping to your service weapon as your eyes go wide. Head snapping about, you dash to the alley opening above the screaming; pushing past fleeing people.
“Hart!”
“He’s in the alley!”
“Do not engage until I get there, do you hear me?!” You’re already at the entrance, X12 ahead of you, and the safety flicked off with a heavy finger. “Hart!”
The body of your mark is on the ground—a bullet in the back of his skull.
“Fuck!” You shout, feet slapping the concrete as you zoom past. “Price—target’s down, Emmett shot him in the damn head, on his tail now.”
“Fucking hell.” The man is growling out at you, voice heated.
Your eyes snap this way and that, weapon at the ready as you take a sharp turn. At the very end of the opening, you see him.
Kinsman slips his service weapon back into the base of his spine, pulling at his shirt to cover the grip as a mass of the crowd is just behind him. He rushes quickly on long legs.
“Emmett!” Your voice makes him freeze. There’s a long pause before anything is spoken; you have your sights trained—a perfect line-up to the roundness of his skull.
“I had hoped to be fast enough,” the man tells you, head tilting to the side, “but I should have known you’d move head-long into danger without backup.”
“Hart,” John’s voice nearly startles you from the line. “Sitrep, now!”
“Why would you do that, Emmett?”
“There’s more to this than being pawns, Hart,” Kinsman growls at you. “I play my game right, I always come on top. I needed to earn their trust; our target had a price on his head and no one else could get as close as me. Well,” he pauses, “us.”
“I’m taking you in,” you grit your teeth, hands tight on the gun. You don’t even want to think about what he means by ‘their’ or his ‘game’. It was always word puzzles with this man—one second you had the right piece, and the next the entire picture had changed like sand in the waves of a tide.
“Are you really that torn up about a drug runner?” A scoff makes you hold back a snarl, but your resolve is shaking. This was a man you had trusted—now fast can something that was forged with steel break?
“He was just some filthy nobody, Hart.” Emmett starts walking into the crowd ahead of him, and in your mind you know if you take that shot you run the risk of shooting an innocent civilian. “I’ll be more than a nobody. Or a grunt soldier. People are going to know me.”
Bodies flee quickly—screams. Mothers, children, husbands.
Kinsman smirks, and as your finger tightens on the trigger, he’s already swallowed by the hoard.
“I’ll be seeing you.”
John and you sit in the safehouse, for a moment, surrounded by quiet and the smell of hot tea. One week in Denmark, and you have no leads. The other three are away, sleeping in the rooms down the hallway.
“You’re still thinking about him,” John speaks up, eyes on you. It’s blunt, but that was just how he was.
You peek your eyes open slowly, your body slouching in the chair and feet outstretched under the table. Your boot lightly touches John’s own. A long sigh exits your nose, grumbling on your tired lips.
“John,” you level, drawing the name out like the years of your life. A thin warning.
The man clenches his jaw slightly, bringing up his cup and taking a slow slip. You see the flesh of his throat bob with the liquid as it goes down, the overhead light of the kitchen only a single bulb of warm glow.
“Been chasing him for years, Hart,” he says when the item is back to the woodgrain. Voice a deep murmur—a scrape of vocal chords. “We both have.”
“He knows too much,” you reply. “I can’t let him get away again. Strategies, operators, everything.” Your eyes shift as your head raises, blinking away the sleep in your glinting orbs. “For years he’s been under our nose, getting away with who knows what—”
“Hart,” your rant is interrupted, and you stop with a snap of your teeth. Blue eyes lock a concerned sheen to them. “Breathe.”
Your face moves away, arms loosely crossed over your chest tensing.
John’s body shifts to you, leaning forward until his elbows are resting on his knees. He stares, brows a line on his flesh. You send a swift glance, lips pulling.
“...Stop that,” your voice murmurs, echoing off the walls of the kitchen. John blinks, not speaking as you move in your seat. The man tilts his head, a slow something making his lips go back slightly. Gradually, your face goes hotter, blinking at him a few times; sucked in like a fox to a trap. “John, quit it.”
“M’not doing anything, Love.”
“Bullshit,” you try and glare at the looseness of his expression, his smirk that makes your gut tighten. Goosebumps move up your arms. “You’re a horror.”
A low chuckle wafts out, John shrugging casually before he leans back.
He takes up his cup again and takes down the last of the remnants. “Go to sleep,” hits your ears as your pounding heart takes a breather. It’s a grumble on the air—not as much an order as it is a suggestion. “It’s late.”
You decide to sip at your own drink as well, eyes drooping at the steam that wafts around your face, nose twitching to the scents.
“You?” John hums, looking you up and down; seeing the fatigue you carry. You’d been relentless for the week you’d all been here, holding the few strings of the lead you had to your chest—five-fingered grasping with a desperate prayer to all things unholy.
“I’ll be here.” You tilt your head his way, eyes still half-closed in your seat. Your answer is easy, pushed out in a slow sentence.
“Then so will I.”
John sighs under his breath. It’s a moment before an exasperated chuckle moves through your earbuds. You smile, eyes slipping closed fully.
Yet, they startle back open as the cup is taken from your hands, your chair moved back firmly.
“Up you get, then,” John grunts, and his arms snake around you. Blinking quickly, your jaw is slack as you get taken up into a tight carry; John’s chest firm and your nose brushing the side of his chin.
Air getting sucked into your lungs, you stifle a hitch in your breath.
It’s only after he starts walking forward, hiking you farther up into him, and his fingers gliding over your clothes, that you start to relax. His heat seeps like a warm fire.
Head sagging to the side, you grumble into his neck as you miss his eyes looking down at you, eyes soft in a way only you would have been able to see. “Can walk, y’know.”
He hums, head shifting back to the hallway as he carries you to the last door on the right, bumping into the wood with his shoulder and shifting to walk in sideways so you don’t let your legs on the frame.
“Remember Preu? 05’?” John asks you, moving over to the bed and setting you down slowly, a tiny huff exiting his mouth. Your body sinks into the mattress, head to the pillow as your hand comes up to rub at your eyes. The man moves to grab the blanket at the end of the bed—knowing your trained habit of sleeping atop the comforter on operations; not tangled up in sheets just in case. He slips off your boots. “Carried you two miles.”
“I recall it,” you grunt, a tired flicker coming to your lips. “Bleeding out and all.”
“Well,” John hums, quirking a brow. “Wasn’t about to let my Hart die on me. Blood was the least of my worries.”
Your pulse flutters at the title, even if it’s just your codename and not the beating muscular organ inside of your breast.
My Heart.
But it’s never that simple.
A hand moves up your cheek, a kiss pressed to your forehead.
The both of you already know you love each other. It wasn’t a secret. You were smart; eyes sharper than a blade—you caught the way he watched you, saw the softness of his expression, and felt the drag of his hand. Just as he caught the way you stayed beside him, an ever-present pair of eyes watching his six. The content nature that only you showed him.
With feet so eager to leave at any moment, it said much that you chose to exist near him simply because you wanted to.
You loved each other.
Boil it down, and you’d both known even back in the Academy that it would be the two of you at the end of all things. The rivers said your name. The valleys rustled with the breeze of your breath. You saw John in the bits of water that sloshed the rocks and in the earth beneath your palms.
Over the years you’d been apart, the yearning hadn’t been any less sharp—any less potent. In every birdsong, the echoes of the other's voice flew and disappeared on wingbeats. In everything that existed, there was a fraction of what should be.
What should be.
“John,” your voice is a whisper, nothing more than a rustle of a cloth. He keeps his lips to your forehead, resting there for a moment against all sense and responsibility. John’s eyes droop down, lashes resting on the swell of his cheeks. “You know I love you.”
He takes a breath. Rain is in the air—the movement of a storm’s wind. A leaving C-17.
It’s a low mutter into your flesh.
“I know.”
You grasp at his wrist, pulling lightly. Without a noise, John slips in beside you, kicking off his boots with a single clop of the soles to the wood and the movement of your blanket. He grunts, pushing his nose into your scalp, arms going around your middle. Your head slots under his chin, lips to his Adam’s apple.
The house is silent beyond the murmur of the pipes—the buzz of awaiting electricity.
So many memories. So many lost dreams. It was akin to two skeletons lying in a grave of their own making, forever holding the bones of the other. Duty and honor are etched into the fractures.
But he still holds you, he still murmurs into your ear, “Sleep, Love.”
“And you?” You ask, mirroring the conversation in the kitchen.
John’s lips move along your flesh, moving into a soft smile as he glances down at you. His beard scrapes you delicately.
“I’ll be here.”
Then it is here you’ll stay, dreaming of deer and the way nothing could compare to how he held you in his arms.
—
“I have eyes on,” your head snaps up, blankly staring ahead as your fingers hover over the hanging beads of a wind chime. You stand outside of a restaurant in the heart of Copenhagen.
Laswell had sent in more eyes for the Task Force to use—local soldiers that knew the layout of the city better and where would be a good place to look. For days you’d been moving through the streets; far-off storage units and hidden buildings providing fruitless harvests. Anthony had said a warehouse, but that was panning out as nothing as well.
False information? Possibly, but unlikely. The man had been genuine in his pain and pleading, and it only served to confuse you more.
You had Gaz with you and five others, taking over as the leader of this fireteam while John headed the other with Johnny and Ghost. They were on the opposite side of the city, and you can’t help but compare this to the moment Emmett had become an enemy.
But divide and conquer was the only option in times like these.
Emmett had become someone, just as he said he would. The man was in charge of supplying arms to terrorist organizations all over the world, and with his knowledge of how the SAS operates as well as any number of special forces, he’d utterly disappeared off the radar.
A wraith of lies and murder.
He had locations all over the globe with his goods, shipped out for money and power.
And now you have a positive ID.
“Where are you,” your voice is hard and stiff, the body already moving back from the chime and leaving its little bits and bobs swinging.
“Café down the street,” feet nearly locking together, you continue down the street to where you know Gaz’s last position was. “He’s just…sitting there.” A pause. “You want to know what it’s called in English, Ma’am?”
“The café?” your brows furrow, jogging across the street.
“‘The Warehouse.’” Growling under your breath, you shake your head and send a curse into the air after a pause.
“I think the man thought he was clever,” Kyle’s voice is smooth and teasing.
“Should have shot his other leg,” you grunt. “You told Laswell? John?”
“Negative, I’ll get on it—”
“I’ll do it,” you interrupt. “Tell the others to group up at your position and spread out to create a choke point; we can’t let him get away.”
“Rog. Will do.”
You patch into John’s frequency.
“We have him,” you instantly breathe out. “Down Holbergsgade—café called ‘The Warehouse’.”
It’s swiftly that an answer hits you. “Get him surrounded, we’re coming.”
Your heart is moving rapidly, fast in your chest as you pass people and business quickly. You didn’t like this—didn’t like the similarities, the…nostalgic dread that builds. A café of all places? Sitting down? Waiting?
It was so ironic it made alarm bells go off.
“John,” you lick your lips, glancing at faces as they pass. “I think he knows we’re here.”
“Explain.”
“A café?” John’s low grunt lets you know he understands. “Just sitting there? He knows—he’s not dumb enough to throw away all of his secrecy just as we so happen to get here and begin looking for him.”
“How sure are you?” The man takes your words into account, and you hear his breath puffing as he runs to your location.
“Ninety,” you breathe.
“Then I’m callin’ it off.” Your eyes widen, feet skidding as you come to a stop.
You have no clue as to how far John will go to keep you safe—even if it means potentially letting one of the SAS’s highest HVTs go. There wasn’t anything that could compare to the thought of you getting in harm's way. Not you.
John had spent his whole life watching soldiers die in the worst ways possible; they haunted his dreams and he knew they’d follow him to his grave—men he’d led down paths that they never should have been on.
Not you.
Losing you would break what little was left of him, the remnants held on by tape and sheer stubbornness. One of the last old faces he could still look at anymore; could draw comfort from in the thin hours. To hold and to love.
You both knew you wouldn’t stand for it.
“No,” your voice cuts across, monotone. “I’m not allowing that.”
“Bloody hell, Hart, listen to me—do not,” John growls, making your spine tingle, “go after him. If he knows we’re fuckin’ here, we need to pull back and close off the area.”
You’re walking forward, that same pressure of a gun at the back of your spine. It was almost poetic.
A thought sparks. Years of knowledge and understanding lighting up.
Emmett was a snake.
A snake that liked to play games and prove points; greed stuck into his brain for reasons you can’t quite say for certain. Even if you did catch him, he would never tell the locations of his goods or the buyers.
But there was one way to find out. One way this might turn.
“There’s a tracker in my arm,” you speak, growing more sure of your actions with every fast movement of your body. The café is just up the street, and a head of blonde hair is a knife to your vision. “I asked Laswell to insert and monitor it years back when I had to infiltrate a cell before I joined up with you again. Cautionary procedure since I had to forgo my rig and gear.”
A sharp bark. He knew what you were insinuating. “Hart!” You were going to get yourself taken hostage.
“Get Kate to watch it, John.” You move off his frequency before he can comment again, half of a roaring refusal cut off. Speaking to Gaz with a restricted throat, you say, “Kyle?”
“Right here, Ma’am.”
“Good. Don’t engage—I’m moving in.”
A stiff breath is taken in. “W…what was that?”
You don’t reply, only saying, “Whatever happens, I order you and the others to stay back, yeah?”
Your hand pulls the earpiece out and shoves it into your pocket right as you slip into the chair directly across from Emmett Kinsman.
“Emmett,” you say in greeting, moving up a few fingers to a barista with a low call of your order. The individual nods and moves off before you lock on green eyes; they nearly make you flinch.
You can only imagine what Gaz is telling John right now.
Kinsman blinks at you, but he isn’t surprised. You were right.
“Hart,” the man smiles. His voice is still the same, though he looks older. “Pleasure seeing you again. Enjoying the sights of the city?”
“Not particularly,” you stare at him.
He chuckles, tilting his head before he brings his drink to his lips. He swallows and continues.
“You always were serious. No fun.” You take the insult without any emotion, blinking at him slowly. What was his play?
“Why?”
“You already know why,” he shrugs, dressed in a nice suit. “I’ve made a name for myself—my name will be remembered for ages.” A twinkle in his eye. “SAS soldier turned weapon supplier; isn’t it exciting.”
“It’s a disgrace,” you lean forward, only stopping your voice from rising as a cup is placed down in front of you by the barista.
Your face plasters a fake smile and you nod, moving it in front of you. Emmett watches with a smirk.
“I call it a change of heart.” He sighs, smirk simmering to a casual smile. “But I am glad to see you, you’ve been creating a big mess of things and I took it upon myself to have a meeting between us as old friends.”
“I’m not your friend,” you growl. “You’ve killed innocent people for no more than a fucking paycheck.”
“Well,” he snorts. “I don’t kill anyone. I’m the middle man—there’s a difference.”
Rage makes your eyes go to slits.
“And innocents, Sweet Thing?” Emmett leans in closer, face so smug and open you want to pull your weapon on him and worry about the consequences later. “What do I call what you do then?”
“A necessary evil,” you huff. “One I carry on my shoulders just like every other soldier does. One that was far better than supplying terrorists.”
Kinsman shrugs, moving back and picking up his drink, swirling it. “If you say so.” He hums. “You have to try the pastries here, you know. They’re very good.”
“I know you’re here because you expected us to find you, what I can’t figure out is why you broke your cover in the open instead of turning yourself in.” You look around at the faces in the outdoor seating, studying them trying to pinpoint if they’re civilians or in league with Kinsman. “Tell me before I decide to shoot you right here and now and end this regardless of hidden goods.”
“You already tried that, Hart,” Emmett laughs. “Pointing a gun at me didn’t work last time.”
“I’m not going to use a gun,” you ease out. “I’m going to take the butter knife on the table and slit your throat.”
“Uncivilized,” Emmet grumbles, frowning at the silver object near your hands. “It isn’t even sharp.”
“Good.” Green eyes narrow, unimpressed. He sighs, fingers moving in an outward gesture of exasperation.
“If you must know before the main finale, I wanted to bring you here to say that I’m thoroughly impressed with your drive.” You try to stave off the shock in your stomach at the words coming out like a charmer’s flute. Raising a slow brow, you’re caught off guard. Emmett chuckles. “You nearly caught me at several instances throughout our game of cat and mouse. Many times I forget who the assigned roles were even given to; I’m telling you that I had fun.”
You stare, face tight.
Emmett hums and his eyes go to slits.
“But every game has to come to an end. I’m growing tired of it.”
The building across the street erupts into a great ball of fire.
—
John hears the explosion in the air, the shockwave that leaves his body halting to look into the sky in time to see black smoke.
“Fuck,” he says under his breath. “Fuck!”
He rushes into the panicked crowd, memories stuck in his head and a bone-deep fear he’d been feeling since you cut the connection in your earpiece. Gaz had been relaying to him what was going on action for action—a football game, only the difference was that your life was on the line.
“Kate,” John shouts. “Get the authorities down here now! We have an explosion on Holbergsgade.”
“Explosion?” The woman’s voice is sharp and disbelieving. “What’s going on—”
“Hart’s in the bloody crossfire, there’s no time!” John’s face is tight, wind whipping past his ears as screams fly on the wind; crying. “The fool is trying to get herself taken fucking hostage for intel!”
Whatever else was said was lost to the wind—Gaz comes over the line, calling to him in a panic as Johnny and Simon join in.
“The entire building just went up in—”
“Fucking Christ—”
“Price, what is this?”
“All of you get down here!” John sprints past people on the ground, ripping his gun out of the back of his waistband. There’s no arguing.
When the Captain turns the last corner, carnage greets him.
The building across from the café was reduced to nothing but rubble and a still-burning flame. Eyes wide, John only looks at it for a few moments, too preoccupied with you.
Where were you?
His jaw clenches, eyes burning with rage. Such a perfect soldier yet such a flawed sense of teamwork, he had a feeling you’d try something like this—had left Gaz with you for that very reason. Fuck he should have been at your side. He should have known.
A low grumble moves through his lips, head snapping all around. There are bodies on the ground. Blood pooling under thick building material—fabric in the breeze.
“Hart!” John yells, running to the café and seeing the remnants of a fast fight.
The Captain’s heart drops to his feet, face burning with hellfire so much that a sheen comes to his cheek. His hand moves out to touch the handle of a butter knife that had been slammed into the table now half-fallen over, eyes stuck on only one thing on the ground under it.
Through the wails and the call of sirens, the man stares at the two long fingers sitting in the dust.
Never in his life had he felt a fear like this.
—
“I wanted to be kind about this,” Emmett fiddles with the wrappings of his bandaged left hand, only three fingers remaining. “I was going to make it quick.”
You’re locked in a cell-like room, head to the side and blood leaking out of a cut face. Burns travel up your arm, the sticky puss leaking out only serving to make you shiver. You don’t know where you are—don’t know what happened after you severed Kinsman’s fingers with that knife.
But you know the pain isn’t something that you haven’t already gone through before.
Your voice is hoarse but firm as it leaks out of you, vision spotty. You’d been thrown in here after a ride in the trunk of a car. The ground is concrete.
“...Don’t make me laugh.”
Emmett growls, eyes wide with hatred.
“Pathetic!” He barks eyes looking you over with disgust. “Look at what you did to my hand!”
His other hand connects with the bars of the cage, producing a metal ringing sound as you push yourself up with one arm, eyelids flinching in pain. Sitting up, your body falls back to the wall behind it, and you grunt when the air in your lungs is expelled. You lick at your dust-coated lips, your head ringing and your focus failing. Concussion.
“Least of your worries,” you roll your jaw, a wave of pain making your body seize up and your hands tense with quivering shakes. Your mouth opens with sharp pants. Bile pools in the base of your throat.
It’s nothing.
John will come soon. The tracker. If Laswell can get it working again, you’d be out of here and you would have whatever this location turns out to be and the intel that it can offer you—computer databases would be a one-and-done game. You would get names, coordinates, and buyers. It could all be over.
Your clothes are melted into your skin, and when you move, they peel away with the remnant of your epidermis. The flesh of your left thigh and arm had taken the worst of it—and the cut from flying debris over your left cheek hasn’t stopped bleeding.
Blood drips from it, and a loud ache makes your head pound all the worse.
You’ve gone through worse.
“I don’t know why I bother,” Emmett snarls, the crimson bandages thick over his hand. “But it isn’t a problem,” he says, moving his other hand to slick back his hair. “It isn’t a problem,” the man utters again. “You’re going to help me. Yes…I’ve made up my mind. I need you to understand why I do the things I do.”
Your brows furrow, but above this burning in your head, it’s hard to understand what’s being said to you. Shadows move and Emmett orders one of his men to open the cell door.
You fight the black dots at the sides of your vision, leaking until you’ve accepted the reality of yourself going unconscious. As your body slouches to the side, hands ruthlessly grasp under your arms and drag you to your feet.
“Everyone has a breaking point.”
—
“What do you mean,” John glares at Laswell, his arms crossed over his chest; hands tightly grasping at his biceps. “You can’t find her?”
“The tracker was old, John,” the woman tries to explain, furiously typing at her computer that rests on the table in front of her—her spine bent over as the rest of the One-Four-One stay in a limbo of anxious looks. “To get it working again, it would need something to restart it. I don’t know if you can see,” Kate’s eyes are hard as they lock with his, “but I can’t do anything if she’s not here first.”
“Well of course she’d not bloody here Laswell, fucking Kinsman has her!” He shouts, hands moving out in a display of aggression.
“Captain,” Kate rises to the challenge, hand moving flat to the table and glaring with the heat of a thousand missiles. “Do not take that tone with me.”
John snarls and jerks his head away, feet on the ground trading weight.
The man was borderline feral—all snapping teeth and sharp glances. Gaz had seen him like this only a handful of times, MacTavish even fewer. Ghost, of course, knew, but even his brown eyes wouldn’t leave his Captain, absorbed in the way he was unable to stay still for even a moment. He was in full gear, too. Had put it on directly after returning to a local base.
John was ready to go to war, down to the rifle that swung from a strap at his side, the ammunition stuffed to his chest—sidearm at his thigh. A rabid dog with intelligence and the knowledge of where teeth needed to be applied to a neck for a clean kill. Simon doubted he wanted it to be clean.
John was ready to rip people to pieces.
“Give me something,” the Captain says in a low growl, beard shifting. “Give me what I need.”
Kate splays her hands. “All we have is surveillance of a car leaving the area—the smoke covers all chances of the drone we had flying picking up a clear picture. John,” Laswell eases, standing up, “there’s only so much we can do. We need to wait—”
“We can’t bloody wait,” Gaz speaks up, “What’ll he do to her in the meantime?”
“Garrick’s right, we need to be on the ground with this.” Johnny nods, mohawk bobbing. “That’s one of our own—we’re not sitting around with our thumbs up our arses, Laswell. Not with Hart.”
Simon blinks, humming. Laswell’s eyes shift to him, near pleading for one to be on her side with this and see sense. Ghost shrugs. “I’m with them. Hart’s one of our own; we’ll do what needs to be done.”
John’s chest swells with pride while his eyes get stuck on your file on the table, your printed picture, and your black ink—he’d never loved an image more, but nothing could beat the real thing. He needed you back. He’d gone through hell with you for his entire life; you’d suffered with him and only locked your hands together and held on tighter.
That was love—that was duty.
John Price wasn’t against skewing his morals for the sake of your safety. You would always be his most important mission. The man didn’t want to think about what might happen if he found you too late.
“Give me the video of the vehicle,” he grunts, jaw tight and his eyes beady. His body slightly leans forward to Kate, love going lower. “Or I’m going out there myself.”
Laswell frowns tightly at him.
“I just sent it into forensics—they’re trying to get a match. Go out if you want, but I won’t be able to stop the firestorm that comes out of it.”
She closes her laptop and moves past him, sending one last comment into the stone man as he towers ever taller.
“She’s strong, John. If you’re smart, you’ll keep yourself out of the crossfire until we have a definitive hit.”
Her voice echoes from behind him as his hands slowly move to clench into knuckle-whitening fists.
“If Kinsman gets a tip we’re still onto him—you’ll never see Hart again.”
—
Day Three:
Your days start blending. One moment you hear the snapping of your bones, and then the next you’re wasting away in this cell—ears ringing and eyes buggy. So much blood. Blood on the walls—blood on the chair they strap you into in the other room; even stuck in the groves of your flesh.
You don’t think you can stop closing your eyes and seeing a deer at the bottom of a bridge drop-off. It’s stuck in your head like a virus; those car lights in the back of your mind just waiting for you.
There’s no sense as to what they do to you—all its purpose is, is to prove a point to Emmett. A sort of broken retribution for your interference and his fingers.
Vain man, really. You’d told him as much when he was watching you get your own finger torn off my pliers; spit it at him as the blood from your bitten tongue stayed his suit. You remember the feeling of the knuckle popping first, and then the burning heat of the flesh being twisted to the side. Two firm yanks and the flesh had sprung like elastic, fissuring, the tendon snapping.
You think you blacked out after that, but you can’t be sure. All you remember doing is screaming.
You woke up with your left pinkie finger completely gone, resting outside in the hallway to mock you from past the bars. Your eyes could see the bone sticking out of it, and all that was left on you was a badly cauterized stump.
When Emmett had come to gloat, you started slurring out laughter.
“I’m going to rip you apart.” Your broken body had jerked back and forth like a marionette doll, only succeeding in spreading more red over the floors as green eyes widened and went dumbfounded.
It sounded like a choking fish.
All he’d done was left, quickly passing the pinkie left limp on the ground.
Day five:
You can’t move your body as they dump you back into the chair—the drain below you flooded over with crimson and bits of hair; vomit and torn-off fingernails. You’re unable to open your eyelids fully.
A hand grasps at your face, yanking it up into the overhead light until a bucket of water is dumped directly over your head. Your body jerks, coughing and darting forward until you’re shoved to the back of the chair and the rope is tied around the front of your shoulders, the second at your wrists.
Trying to suck down air, you shiver with the strength of an earthquake. Whoever said that they would never be afraid while being tortured was a liar; whoever thinks that they would be able to push through it—a fraud. Emmett was right, everyone had a breaking point.
But you admitted yours would only come after your death.
Your legs are seized, bent up as you hiss as well as you’re able, teeth snapping.
They’re dumped back down into a bucket of ice-cold water as droplets drip from your nose—wet skin for the moment only holding streaks of gore. Even with your scattered mind, you know what this means.
Heart tight and eyes widening, you try to push back in the chair; try to fight the rope and the way your body won’t respond.
A battery is rolled up beside you on a metal cart. Jumper cables.
There’s a low chuckle at the way your face goes fearful.
—
John shoves open the door to Laswell’s temporary office, already talking before it hits the far wall.
“Do we have her?” His hands move beside him, brushing the grip of his sidearm. He hadn’t been out of his full gear for more than five minutes in days. Waiting day and night for any word; sleeping in it, eating in it. The forensics team had been stumped, unable to get more than a model out of the picture.
But this might finally give him something to act on.
Kate is moving, grabbing documents and her laptop, speeding past him and out of the door.
“Kate!” John shouts, following after. “Hey,” he calls, grabbing at her arm to stop her.
The woman only halts to say, quickly, “We have a hit. Follow me.”
John’s heart is rampaging, pulse wild under his skin as his gloved hands twitch. Finally. He can only smoke so many cigars—only think of so many scenarios until he feels he needs to vomit. You’d been gone for too long. Every moment had been like trying to walk with a cloth over his head; lost.
He’d grown stiff. Stiffer than normal. Everyone had seen it.
“Where is it, then?” John asks as Laswell pushes open the door to the meeting room, the other three already inside.
“A property outside of Copenhagen—bought through a proxy on a fund that was linked to blood money in South America; it all went directly back to Kinsman. It was found only ten minutes ago.” A pause. Electricity in the air. “But that’s not how we found it.”
“How,” Simon asks, moving closer.
John gives the woman his full undivided attention, hands moving to rest at his collar in a soothing gesture.
“Her tracker came back on.” Eyes go wide, all sharing rapid glances as Kate opens her laptop and opens a man, turning the device for them to see. “Same location.”
Johnny blinks, his eyes narrowing. “And what does that mean?”
“That can’t have just done that by itself,” Gaz mutters, brown eyes sliding over to John who’s stiller than a wolf. The Sergeant pauses.
His eyes are dead set on that screen. His thighs were so tense it was nearly like the Captain was about to sprint out of the room. Kyle’s face goes blank at that, never quite seeing the extent that your disappearance had on the man. His superior had bags under his eyes; far more pale than usual. His apparel was ruffled, too. Even in the more serious of situations, the Sergeant had never seen John so…out of it. He was always the one with the even head, even if he had a short fuse with certain things. Nothing was ever done without thought, he should say.
But this is something else.
“Torture,” Simon gives his two cents and John’s cheek twitches at the word. “Electrocution. They jump-started it and didn’t even know.”
“Bloody Jesus,” John breathes. Everyone had already had a hunch, but no one had wanted to name it.
It’s a low rumble that makes the rest of them freeze, though. It was so dead in tone that it even made Kyle’s spine lock up; Johnny’s eyes went a smidgen upward. Simon, although his face was covered, felt his lips twitch.
John looks at nothing but that dot on the computer screen.
“Am I green, Laswell?”
Kate looks at John. It’s like setting a hellhound loose.
“You’re green, Captain.”
—
You’re tossed into the cell and your body rolls along the floor, bouncing and flinching until your back slams into the wall. Air is forced from your lungs, coming out in a loud grunt before you land on your stomach in a heap. Staying there, your nerves are fried.
Every moment you think the twitching of your fingers will stop—the dance of your muscles responding to the aftereffects of electrocution, it only starts back up again. Your eyes blink rapidly; your clothes have the scent of smoke to them.
Gasping for breath, you feel like you’re drowning and being set on fire all at once.
Yet the question in your head was a simple one, one you’d been asking for days.
Where was John?
Emmett enters the cell, clicking his tongue as the metal hinges squeak.
“I’m not surprised it’s taking this long,” he explains. “But I am surprised you’re still alive, admittingly.”
A boot comes out and places itself atop your shoulder, pressing down slowly until its full weight is on top of you. Your mouth opens in a shuddering sound of a dying animal, blood dripping from your ears and nose.
“I know you’ve taken torture before—even taken a part of it,” Kinsman sighs. “But, shit Hart, you really do scare me when I know you’re strong enough to get through th—”
Your body jolts up, grappling Emmet’s leg and twisting it to the side. Regardless of pain—of agony—there’s such primal rage inside of you that what little adrenaline you can bring forth is all that more addictive.
The man collapses in a heap, gasping, but you’re already on top of him, wrestling your hand to his neck, missing finger and all. Blood moves, staining his precious suit and dripping from your mouth into his hairline. You bare down your weight on him, teeth clenched and eyes wild—one orb holding nothing but red from burst veins and the other full of a vicious gleam of ferality.
Hands snap up to your wrists, mouth opening in flapping panic.
But Emmett has grown weak; he’s out of practice. All of those years out of the SAS, giving up on the training of the body to match the mind. The idiot wasn’t even carrying a gun when he walked into the cell of a charging stag, its antlers dripping gore, sharper than any knife.
When the flaps of his eyes fall there’s no gloating speech—there’s no snort of a tall and proper victor. All you do is take the front of his face, grasp it, and start sending his skull back into the concrete floors.
Crack.
…Crack.
….Crack.
Only when the sound of his head breaking open meets your ringing ears, do you force your wheezing lungs to take a large breath.
Emmet Kinsman died as he lived.
A fucking piece of shit.
“Fuck you,” you spit on his corpse, saliva bloody; his jaw is loose as you release the man’s face, eyes bulging. Falling to the side, you groan in pain, your body curling into itself until you resemble a sleeping fawn. You’re shaking more and more with every second, coughing with the force of an earthquake until your shredded vocal chores force you to stop.
But the brain is a funny thing.
In times of danger, survival is the only thing that takes priority. It was why, in a long shove of your hand to the floor, with your bones creaking and your vomit meeting the ground, you’re able to stand. It isn’t enough to help you heal the snapped bone of your right leg, however, and in a steadily failing stupor, you drag it behind you. In this state, nothing else matters to you besides a simple command: get out.
Your shoulder slaps the metal of the cell as you stumble out of it, careening into the far wall and letting out a loud shout.
Eyes fluttering, you connect your temple to the cool concrete, trying to breathe.
It hurts too much, your mind says. God, I can’t feel my limbs.
A long trail of blood follows you down the hallway as you slide along the wall, using it as a brace.
You want to see John, you whisper inside of your head. You want to be held by him—be taken into his chest; cared for away from all of this fighting.
A trip back to Herefordshire with him, to go deep into the country together; rest in the green grass where no one can find you for just a few good hours. It didn’t have to be forever, you would say. Just a few hours. A few hours of sky and earth wrapped in a time loop of just your own.
You want to kiss him there. In the open, out in the wild. You want to stay by his side, your mind thinks as you stumble over the three dead bodies in the left corridor, bullet wounds in their heads. You want to be by his side forever, no more gaps in years, not more longing. It’s so close you can nearly reach out and grasp it—
Your name is yelled on a heavy breath, and hands capture your shoulders as you fall straight into them with no more strength.
Blue eyes lock with yours as you’re hurriedly settled to the ground, body limp and eyes trying to stay open.
Blue eyes on a grassy hill.
“Hart, fucking hell.” Hands move your body, pressing and sliding—finding every opening and spreading blood like water. “Fucking hell! Hey!”
You’re yelled at, and the ripping of pouches and the familiar sound of bandages being wrapped come to the back of your brain. A hand shakes your head, locked under your chin as you take slow, broken, breaths.
“Please, fuck sake, please,” it’s a desperate growl, so familiar and yet a world away. Your body is moved and manipulated as every leaking wound is packed with so much gauze it hangs out of you like you’re a mummy. The burns along your flesh are crust and infected, open skin peeling back.
But the pain is lesser now. Easier to manage.
There’s such a ruckus that it’s hard to focus on John—the man on the hill. In the grass and the wind. Brown hair moves in the breeze as white clouds roll past. On the air, there’s the scent of rain, and in the far distance, you can see a group of ten deer grazing, ears twitching.
Maybe you’ll ask them if they blame their leader, or the two trucks on the end of a bridge.
“Keep your eyes on me!” You blink into John’s tiny blues, that mist rolling back. You stare for a moment as he frantically screams into his radio; night vision rig on his head and all-black gear covering him from you. His face is pale, his eyes glossy. “Look at me, hey,” he blinks as he notices you watching, surging forward. “Hey, keep 'em open, yeah? You keep them fucking open, Love.”
Your chest is heavy.
“John,” you push out a flicker coming to your lips as your vision slightly unblurs itself to the sight of a flood of blood on the man’s body—an unimaginable amount.
“I’m ‘ere,” his accent grows deeper with emotion, one hand holding your cheek and the other at your shoulder, keeping you still to stop any additional damage. “I’ve got you, you understand me? I’m not letting you go, so don’t you think that I will.”
It’s a double-edged sword.
A smile peels back your chapped lips, red running from the corner of your mouth. You glance at his stained gear again. The abyss swirls at the corners of your eyes.
“Is that your blood, or mine, John Price?”
You hear him scream for a medic, and then it all goes numb.
—
You dream of deer on a hill, but every time you search for John, he isn’t there. You go past rivers—
“She’s dropping!”
“Get me the defibrillator!”
—past copses. Your voice goes high and low, but all the while you look, there’s nothing but a nagging feeling in the back of your head that you shouldn’t be here.
“Again!”
It’s a strange nagging, truly. Like falling asleep in the middle of the day and waking up in the night without any remembrance of what had happened prior. A displacement of the mind.
“We’ve got a pulse, Doctor, do we stop and—”
“No, I need to finish off the internal bleeding or else she won’t make it another day. Get me the cauterizer, now.”
You blink and grip your chest, a sudden pain sharp in your heart as the grass moves about your ankles. Coughing, you bend over, your eyes fluttering rapidly. In the deepest part of your eardrum, you hear a murmur of a voice you can’t place.
“The man came back, again. He’s been out there for days. He just…sits there, waiting until someone tells him something. He can’t come in, and I’m sorry about that. I’m sure hearing his voice would help more than mine, but you’re in too much of an unstable condition for that. If you get another infection, you won’t…hm, I shouldn’t talk about that. Everyone in school said only to talk positively to patients when they’re like this. I…I’m sure he’ll be able to come in soon. I think everyone calls him John if that rings a bell?”
“John?” Your eyes flutter open, sharp light above you making you snap them back closed. No one answers.
It’s a long moment before you find the strength to breathe in the oxygen from the mask over your face, taking a long and deep inhale before a slight cough makes your abdomen tight. You flinch at the pull of stitches, all coming from so many places, that it’s unwise to move too much.
Gradually, you open back up your eyes, pushing past the sting. Inside of your throat, the skin is so dried out you can feel it cracking at every articulation of your words.
“Where's…John?” When you shift your head to the side, no one’s there. No one’s even in the room, either.
Blinking through the haze, your lips twitch on your face, skin tight. With a slap of your weak hand, you grasp the oxygen mask and pull it down to your neck, grunting in mild annoyance at the medicated numbness of your form.
Your leg is in a cast—and your left side is tightly bound by wrappings to hide away the burns where skin grafts most likely live. With a glance, you see the missing pinky and the bandages that cover the strange remnants.
The facial wound will scar, you know, but right now it’s patched over and healing. That’s all you can ask for.
Sighing long, you blink slowly at the ceiling, licking your lips. You need water.
Outside, the murmurs are missed to you as your unmarred hand reaches for the nightstand table, where a half-drunk bottle of water sits next to a tray of food. Even if your stomach rumbles, water takes precedence. Your throat was like the Sahara desert.
“Forget something, John?”
“Bloody fork. The bastard gave me the slip. Dropped mine, needed to go back and grab another.”
“Oh, that’s alright—you could have asked one of us to get one for you. We’d hate for you to miss any time for visiting hours.”
“It’s fine; gets me moving, eh?”
“Just grab us if you need anything else!”
A low grunt is accented by the opening of the door; immediately you tense and pause, neck fighting itself to shift forward once more.
Wide blues lock with your own, and it’s like every pain fades away.
John’s jaw is slack hidden under the layers of his beard bristles, brows going atop his head in an instant. The sound of a dropping metal utensil echoes through the room.
You both stare at one another for a long time, and the murmur of nurses accumulates to some peaking through the crack; their expressions also going to shock. A few scurry off, probably to get a doctor.
“What?” Your hoarse voice asks, unnerved by this.
At the sound of your voice, John flinches forward on his boots. The nurses get shut out with beaming faces as the barrier closes with a small click of metal.
Walking to the side of your bed, John clears his throat, eyes looking you up and down in two glances. A million things are hidden in them. After an opening and closing of his mouth, which you watch closely while squinting, he speaks.
“How are we feeling, then?” You breathe slowly and in tiny puffs. John looks at the oxygen mask as if telling you to put it back on, but you refuse for a moment.
“Like shit,” you utter, voice cracking.
With a huff, John pushes away your reaching hand and gets the water himself, unscrewing it. Bringing it to your lips, you take it down as he speaks.
“Easy, Love.”
When you’d had your fill and the ache settled, you brought a hand to your head and rubbed at your injured cheek before John sighed and grabbed at it, intertwining his fingers with yours and lowering the limb back to your chest.
You stare at him, and he stares at you.
“I don’t know what to ask,” you confess.
“You don’t have to ask anything,” John mutters, and his face is tight with worry. “You’ve been in a coma for three weeks, all you need to do is ease back into it.”
Your eyes snap back.
“Tell me if it hurts,” He speaks slowly, moving on one word at a time so the realization doesn’t dwell in your brain. “I can get someone to come in, yeah?”
Your hand in his burns, and John pulls at the chair by the nightstand until he’s able to sit down in it fully with a tiny grunt.
“No,” you say, “no, it’s…I’m fine.”
Better now that you’re here, but your body is tense. Three weeks?
“Just need to take it easy,” the man states, thumb running up and down your knuckles. “You’ll be better soon.”
A dry look is sent his way, and he hides a soft quirk on his lips. “You’ll be better, Love.”
You hum, head moving back more heavily into the pillow.
“When do I get to go back?”
“When you’re healed,” he grunts. “Not a fuckin’ moment sooner.”
“We get anything on the other locations of the—”
“Hart,” you’re interrupted. Blue eyes stare at you heavily, digging past every shield you’d put up and every fear. What happened was still heavy in your mind; it pained you to imagine it, even the way John had found you—even if it was all glimpses. “Slow down. That’s not an order coming from a soldier, it’s a caution from an old friend.” John says, squeezing your flesh. His other hand comes to your shoulder, sitting there heavily.
“Breathe,” he orders, face gruff. “We always figure it out.”
You close your eyes and sigh, frowning.
A low chuckle moves along the air a second later.
“Never sit down, do you?” A flicker dances over your lips like a butterfly. “Impossible, you are.”
“You’re one to talk,” you huff, eyes shifting back to him.
He’s smiling at you, and you can’t help but mirror it right back at the sight. Your facial injury pulls and tightens, but you would welcome an ache like that for as long as it stayed. A scar born of the stretch of lips is one well-earned. Only John could ever make it a reality.
The man stares at your lips, his wide build eager to stay over you in this state. He can’t stop himself from caressing your skin; to feel you alive and breathing. Talking.
“Scared me,” John admits under his breath.
You blink, your smile fading slowly until it was like it was never there. Your body builds with guilt; also something only he could bring. “I’m sorry, John.”
A small thinning of his lips is what you get, accented by a hum.
“Hart,” he grunts. “I…”
John’s eyes closed for a moment before opening back up—spearing you with their gaze. Your tired eyes crinkle in confusion.
“What is it?” Over the tingle of your flesh from where he touches you, it isn’t hard to forget the world is around you when he’s here like this. You’re nearly trapped by his eyes, yet you welcome it eagerly. His voice moves out, accent and natural gravel, all.
“I love you.”
Your nose lets a chuff exit. Was that all?
“I love you, too, John—”
“No, Hart,” he pushes slightly harder, moving closer and licking his lips as he glances away. “No,” John looks you dead in the eye as you lay here battered and broken within an inch of your life—a risk that you took willingly as if it had meant nothing. The both of you weren’t new to this; you both knew that on any day you or he would do it over and over again until it resulted in death. That was the way of this game; this trial.
You had both always been content with that, but when had it changed?
Why was the thought of losing you more fear-invoking than anything else he’d ever encountered?
You watch him as his lips utter the words, lips close to yours and your eyes locked.
“I love you.”
Your voice is caught in your throat, stuck in the throws of a quick gasp. Not blinking, the man waits for you—waits for an answer to the earth-shattering confession. But it all came far easier than you would ever admit to anybody besides him. It was already known, after all.
All that remained was the pesky words.
“I love you, too.” You beam, words low with intimacy. “I think I always have.”
John chuckles, a large smile pushing at his reddening cheeks. “Good,” he nods, clearing his throat. “Good,” he says again. “Well, I—”
You softly connect your lips with his, and you feel him pause, breathing you down for a moment as hearts beat at the same tempo. He sighs, one hand coming up to capture your cheek, holding it there for you as you sag into it and live in this everlasting moment.
It’s there you had a revelation.
It was never Hart to him. John had never been calling you that.
He’d always just been saying Heart.
You breathe out a laugh, when you separate, beaming in a happiness you thought was long gone from you—stolen in the dark nights and sold through even darker deeds. Neither of you was worthy of this, of the love that breeds in broken things. Yet, here it is regardless. Here, among blood and the blue eyes of a man you’d known since knowing anything became important. You had always known it was John. And finally, finally, finally.
“I would marry you in an instant, John Price,” you breathe when you separate, not weak enough to stop the words from exiting from the deepest part of your soul.
His crinkled eyes watch, reverently gazing at every blemish and mark; everything he could learn new again. John’s eyes are as soft as you ever imagined them to be, and he gives them over freely to you.
He kisses you again and leaves the taste of his heavy, happy, chuckle tingling across your lips.
“Seems I’d better get on that, then.”
A/N: This fic is strangely nostalgic for me even if I just wrote it - I remember the first ever fic I posted on here was a rescue fic, as well as a John Price fic; it's amazing to see how far I've come in regards to overall content/story building and how my understanding of the character has evolved. This might not be the best work I've posted on my blog, but I'm glad to say I'm proud of myself and how far I've come. It's so wonderful that I can have this feeling for such a big moment and still feel so drawn back to the past at the same time. Totally not tearing up at the thought rn.
Thank you all very much for your support.
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i’m your girl - ellie williams
ellie 📸 creds - s9ession on pinterest (and tiktok)
ellie williams x reader, slight!abby x reader
₊* summary : after catching your girlfriend cheating on you, your best friend ellie offers a little more than some much needed quality time together.
₊* warnings : smut minors dni, language, cheating, dom!ellie 🤭 sub!reader, light spanking, abby and ellie tensionnnn, slight ellie x cat, reader uses she/her pronouns, intended lowercase, bad writing, not proof read. if i miss any please let me know!! 🤍
₊* a/n : EEEEK hi everyone! this is my FIRST EVER FIC! don’t be fooled though, i’ve been apart of this lovely community for years and have loved reading all of your lovely works!! i really wanted to try and give this a shot because im a hoe and i have some crazy thoughts that i think need to be shared (this one really isn’t crazy this is like the third thing i’ve written so we are going to ease into it 🫡)
anyways i am so excited to share my first fic! it would mean the world if you guys left some positive feedback or constructive criticism so i know how to grow!! i’m also looking for new friends since i don’t post on here so if you want to be friends hmu 😋 i love you all!! again i hope beauties enjoy!!
🇵🇸 as always, please keep spreading information and support for Palestine! 🇵🇸
▹ daily click
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
walking back from a study sesh, your bubbly laugh fills the halls of dorm as your best friend her story of a disastrous hookup.
“oh my god, ellie. that would happen to you,” you huff out, trying hard to calm yourself down. ellie chuckles while smiling down at you. “i can’t believe cat said a different name!” you couldn’t stop you laughter as ellie explained the awkward interacting with cat. your laugh was her favorite sound in the whole world, which is why she always loved to tweak her stories just a bit. she knew just about everything about you, so of course she knew what made you come undone in a fit a laughter. so maybe cat didn’t actually say someone else’s name. maybe ellie said someone else’s name. maybe she said your name. but you don’t have to know that.
“yeah ya know” she shrugs a bit and pauses. “maybe she just isn’t right for me,” ellie shrugs nonchalantly. “anyways, is abby gonna be in the room?” ellie questions.
“yeah hope that’s okay with you, i didn’t tell her we were coming back so early so she will probably just be in our room and out somewhere,” you explain, as you reached for your dorm room keys. living with your girlfriend in the same dorm room would have some calling you a bit risky, but you never had any doubts with your relationship with abby. you’ve been together for a year now, you trusted her, she treated you good, and you were even kind of starting to picture your life together. however; that daydream becomes a distant afterthought as soon as you open the door of your dorm room. in front of you is your, now ex-girlfriend, naked and on top of none other than the infamous cat who ellie has talked your ear off about.
“what the fuck” you whisper out, your voice coming out raspy as your eyes quickly start swelling up with tears and your throat swells up. abby and cats giggles soon turn into gasps and their heads fly towards your direction. you feel ellie come to your side and put her arm on your back. “why don’t we just step outside quick, baby,” ellie sadly begs you, her voice full of sympathy, but also anger. how could anyone take advantage of such a beautiful girl. her gaze lands right on a worries looking abby who is rushing to put her clothes back on.
“baby no wait look please just give me a sec let me explain it’s not what it looks like,” abby rambles out a bullshit story but you can’t hear anything around you. your tears now rapidly falling.
“what- what- what the fu-fuck abby!” at this point, you can’t control any emotions. it’s impossible to try and stop any tears now. you’re defeated, hurt, and feeling betrayed. you quickly spew out a few choice words at the two girls rushing to get dressed, but slowly relax and fall into the tall body next to you. she gently grabs your arm and drags you out the door, whispering apologizes and begging for you to focus on her as you still throw some daggers at abby. finally clothed, abby forgets all about the girl she was just fingers deep in and rushes out the door towards you.
“hey hey hey please just wait please” abby calls your name as ellie continues to guide you towards her dorm. you can’t even look at her as you continue to cuddle into ellie, who’s arm is gently placed around your figure, shielding you from your panicking ex.
“just fuck off abby you’ve done enough give her some space” ellie turns to yell towards the blonde who’s still right on your tail.
“you can shut the fuck up and stay out of this williams” abby barks back. “this is between me and her, and the last time i checked, she wasn’t your girlfriend.” ellie’s hearts cracks a little at the sentence, wanting none other to call you hers.
“well after the way you just cheated on her, i don’t think she will be yours very soon either,” ellie smirks. abby and ellie get pretty angry pretty fast, spewing out nasty things about each other and who can treat you the best. you were going to go insane. all you wanted to do in this moment was cry.
“ellie?” suddenly, ellie stops at the soft voice that just called her name. she saw you, teary-eyed, staring at her with the most heartbroken look on her face. her eyes softened and jaw unclenched. her heart broke at the sight of you, but still could not get over the fact that you still looked angelic. “can we please go?” you didn’t even have to ask ellie twice. she nodded her head and gave you a quiet ‘of course’ with a sympathetic smile on her face, but didn’t leave without staring the girl in front of her down. she then turned towards you and flung her arms over your shoulder. leaning her head on yours, you two walked together back to ellie’s room.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the usual 5-minute walk back to ellie’s dorm felt like hours as it become harder and harder to hold back your tears. ellie didn’t speak one word to you, she understood that all you wanted in this moment was to be silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth once, you would burst out into tears again.
as you two reached her room, she gave a soft “hold on baby” and slowly released her grip on yours so she could unlock her door. you two entered an empty room thanks to dina, ellie’s roommate, visiting jesse at his campus. as much as you loved dina, you were so thankful you could just be alone with your best friend and cry. as soon as you heard ellie shut the door, it was exactly what you did.
as soon as she heard your heartbreaking sobs, ellie quickly rushed over to your side and engulfing you with her toned arms. she shushed you quickly and rocked back and forth, doing everything in her power to try and somehow make your beautiful face smile again.
“i can’t fucking believe her” you finally speak up after several minutes of silence and sniffles. ellie looks over at you, startled after not hearing your voice in a while. “we were together for over a year, we were literally living together in the same fucking room, like, where does she think i’m gonna go now? i’m not living there anymore i fucking hate her!” your sadness has now turned into rage and your slowly growing louder as your rant goes on.
“hey hey hey,” ellie tried to calm you down. “don’t worry about all that now, okay baby? you’re gonna stay with me, and you me and dina are gonna have a big slumber party and have pillow fights and make cookies and talk about boys.” ellie’s joke works miracles and brings a small smile on your face and a little giggle reaches ellie’s ears.
“there she is,” ellie smiles. “i missed that beautiful laugh.” you can’t help but get a little flustered at her comment. now that you were done with abby, your relationship was quickly forgotten when you remembered just how much you were in love with ellie before. you always thought she was so beautiful, and of course she always treated you like a princess.
when you finally worked up enough courage to speak, a quiet “i’m sorry, ellie” left your lips.
“what are you apologizing for baby?” ellie asks you with a confused look on her face. in the moment of catch your girlfriend fucking another girl, you totally forgot all about your own best friend and her crush, and how she was probably going through the same emotions as you right now.
“i’ve been being so selfish. i’ve only been thinking about me and my relationship that i completely forgot about your obsession with cat” you sadly smile and give her an apologetic look. you remembered all the times that ellie would gush about cat with you
“cats skirt looks so good” ellie seductively says to you while you grab your things out of your locker. you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt.
or that one time when you two were putting off studying in your deserted dorm room
“wait stop scrolling! there! yes! let’s watch that one.” you questioned her on her choice because it was your favorite movie too and you didn’t think she would ever like it, considering she laughed in your face when you told her about it. “oh um i know yo- um it’s cats favorite movie.” ellie saves herself from almost admitting to you that she may have done a little too much stalking that night and found out a couple of your favorite things.
or the night of the frat party, the night ellie’s compliment to cat broke your heart so much, you’d call it one of the worst nights of your life.
“ok now my turn stop hogging,” you giggle at ellie and she shoves you away from the blunt. she finally hands it over and take a hit. you look around at the view of campus from on top of the frat house. “it’s sooo pretty up here, els.” you giggle as you blow the smoke out. ellie chuckles with you and you two burst into laughing. “oh my god how high are we,” you squeak out “ellie look and tell me how red my eyes are.” you’re suddenly staring straight at ellie, and in her haze she lets out a small ‘woah’.
“i uh i mean uh-“ she stutters out as you question what she meant and furrowed your brows. “i mean i was just looking into your eyes and thinking about cat,” she spews out “you know she just has eyes just like yours,” your small smile falls suddenly and confused brows now turn downwards. “uh yeah cats eyes you know they’re like a beautiful uh” while ellie tries to think, she then stares at you again and describes your eyes. cat has eyes like mine? i could’ve sworn they were different. your cloudy mind is not sober enough to realize what’s actually happening, instead your heart breaks even more, thinking that ellie has probably stared into cats eyes so many times she’s pinpointed every detail about them. once you two tossed out the blunt over the roof, you headed back downstairs together. still hurt with ellie’s rambles, you quickly get away from her as soon as your in the clear, leading you to meet abby. why is the worst time if it led you to meet your girlfriend? well, before the cheating, you would’ve had no idea why.
ellie’s hand in front of your face brings you back to reality, which is not fun. ellie is still sitting next to you on the couch and you have to ask her to repeat what she said.
“i was asking what you were apologizing for, baby. you were the one that got cheated on, not me.” ellie chuckles, but slowly realizes what she said. she see your eyes drop down again and the sadness returns to your face. while she’s quickly trying to come up with something to say to save herself, she stops when you stand upnn
“is it ok if i go use your bathroom real quick?” you sadly ask ellie, and she nods with a small smile on her face. you give her a quiet thanks and walk towards the shared restroom of ellie and dina. ellie brings her hands to her head and scolds herself. if you’re trying to make her feel better and give her a hint, this is NOT the right way to do it. she couldn’t shove down her feeling forever, but she also did not want to confess and risk losing you completely. she tried to clear her mind and think about what dina or jesse would tell her to do in this situation. while trying to focus, she could hear you shuffling around in the bathroom. she knew why you were really in there, she wasn’t stupid. thinking about that just made her feel ten times more guilty. she knew what to do.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
as soon as you go into the bathroom you lock the door and force the tears welling in your eyes to go away. you decided to wash your face with cold water to try and snap yourself out of your emotional roller coaster. you dry your face with the hand towel and turn to look at yourself in the mirror. you were still in so much shock at the events that happened tonight. you take in your messed up appearance and cringe. your bloodshot red eyes were not a pretty sight, and neither was the smudged mascara scattered underneath your eyes. you hope ellie wouldn’t be too grossed out by the way you look right now.
huhhhh?
woah okay the feelings are for sure back. you try to get yourself to look less dead inside by washing your face a couple more times. you opened the bathroom door and slowly walked back out to the couch. you sit back down next to her and put a blanket around yourself, meanwhile she is mindlessly scrollings through netflix trying to find something to watch before she stops on none other than you (and cats) favorite movie.
“oh hey what about this one” she looks over at you with a little smile on her face. you give her a confused look as to why she suggested this one, knowing it was cats favorite movie too.
“but, ellie, won’t that make you, i don’t know, sad?” you question. now she’s the one giving you confused looks.
“why is it like a sad movie or something? i didn’t think it was. i thought we could watch it because it’s your favorite movie and i thought it would make you feel a little bit better,” she smiles back. now you’re even more confused. for starters, she told you it was cats favorite movie, and also, you don’t even remember telling her it was your favorite.
“how’d you know?” you asked her. she replied with a little huh and you asked again. “how’d you know this was my favorite movie? i don’t think i told you that, and i thought it would make you sad because you told me before it was cats favorite movie.” ellie’s face suddenly turns from confused, to scared almost. she stated stuttering and couldn’t form a single word.
after a couple second of struggling, ellie says your name. “it’s not cats favorite movie. i don’t even know cats favorite movie. in fact, i actually don’t know a lot about cat in general.” she looks at you with an almost scared look. now she just completely lost you. when she realizes you still haven’t caught on, she finally begins to explain what she means after a long pause.
“it was never cat”. the room suddenly gets loud, very loud. your ears start to ring and your breath leaves your throat. you couldn’t believe it, again. the whole time you were pushing away your feelings for ellie, she was trying to do the same with her feelings about you. suddenly, you start thinking back to all the moments when you thought ellie was crushing on cat. slowly, more dots start connecting.
you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt. you’re not the only one looking though. if you would’ve turned around to face your best friend again, you would’ve seen her also looking at your ‘plain boring white skirt’, grateful that she quickly replaced ‘your skirt’ with ‘cat’.
or that other night, after the blunt, when you were crying your eyes out to abby. ellie kicking herself outside and hoping, praying even, that you wouldn’t know the actual color of cats eyes, and that maybe you were even dumb enough to not know the specific details of your own (you were).
you wish you could go back and slap the old you in face, that way, you and ellie could’ve avoided this whole abby and cat mess and could’ve been together longer than you and abby ever would’ve been. now you’re staring up at, after she just confessed her feelings for you. you didn’t know what to say, well you did, you wanted to say that you felt the exact same was and you have since the day you met her, but you’re too slow so she keeps explaining to you.
“i’m sorry to bring it up, but when we walked in today, my heart broke. it didn’t break because i saw cat with another girl. it broke because i saw her with your girl, and i never knew anyone would ever be that fucking stupid to throw away someone as gorgeous, generous, and as selfless as you,” she pauses and you cry again for the millionth time tonight; however, this time the tears feel good. happy tears. she continues and says your name in the softest tone possible. “so again, it was never cat. it was you.”
“abby is not ‘my girl’” you cringe. ellie looks up at your quick response. “i always kind of hoped it was you.” you break apart your words, still scared to admit how you feel even though she just spilled her heart out. the response you got back though washed all your worries away.
“can i kiss you?” she asked quietly. you couldn’t believe it (x3). it was finally happening. every single event that happened up to this very moment has vanished from your mind. all you could think about was how you couldn’t nod your head yes faster. she gives you a beautiful grin before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and gently gripping our chin to pull you closer. at last, your lips touched and it was everything you imagined and more. after you two slowly made out for a couple minutes, taking a couple paused to breathe in between, the kisses started turning more aggressive. you jump as you felt a soft touch on ur upper thigh. you relaxed once she placed her full hand on you and rubbed it up and down. you let out a soft moan which made ellie groan and trail kisses down your neck. you whined as you suddenly felt her pull back. her eyes looked right into your eyes, and she placed her forehead against yours. you two panted as you stared into each others sinful gazes. silence took over for a while before ellie suddenly interrupted.
“can i take you to bed baby?” you bit you lip and nodded, your innocent eyes locked on hers. fuck, you were perfect. it made ellie’s iris’ turn black, and she slowly guided you to her room, littering your face with teasing kisses on the way there. she sat you down on the edge of the bed and got on her knees, lips never leaving yours. her hands caressed your thighs once more, rubbing outwards so that your legs slowly separate. your lips follow as she pulls away to see your skirt has ridden up and she smirks, staring directly at your wet panties. “oh baby” she groans, her focus fully on your clothed pussy, begging to be touched. you lean back and tilt your head so you’re staring up at the ceiling, eyes squeezing shut and a moan leaving your mouth as soon as you feel small kisses going up you thighs. “love those fucking sounds, baby. you’re so angelic.”
“el’s. t-touch me,” you beg, but she light slaps your thighs and gives you a couple disappointments tsks.
“sweetheart, you gotta ask nicer.” she pouts up at you, malice in her voice.
“please, el’s, i need you to t-touch me please” you drag out, embarrassed that she has you this worked up and she’s barely touching you yet. she smirks up at you and her kisses get more sloppy the higher she goes, and finally, her mouth is hovering above your cunt, her hot breath purposely breathing heavy. she loved watching you whine and jolt under her touch. how crazy she made you go even with just a couple kisses. she loves how much control she has over you, and how well you listen to her.
“lift up your shirt, pretty girl. wanna see you play with your tits while i eat this pussy.” her words alone make you want to cum, but then it would be over, so you pull yourself together and do as she said. out of no where, you felt a long lick up you pussy, you body tightening suddenly and letting out a humiliatingly loud moan. “that’s right, baby. let me hear you. do i make you feel good? hm?” you shake your head vigorously, staring down into her green eyes staring right back up at you. she now loops her arms around your legs and spreads them further, making you squeak. “fuck, such a pretty fucking pussy,” she moans, and slowly starts licking up and down continuously.
you’re a mess. one hand gripping her hair, trying to push her even more into you, making ellie grunt, her own panties quickly getting wet at how bad you wanna cum. your other hand is placed perfect cupping your left tit, playing with it just like ellie told you to.
“el’s you’re gonna make me cum,” you whine, your eyebrows furrowed and voice raspy. you look so fucking sexy right now, and ellie tries her hardest to take a mental picture for later.
“yeah? you gonna cum baby?” she teasingly asks you and you whimper out a mhm. once again speechless with the way ellie is slopingly eating your pussy.
you suddenly feel a finger teasing your entrance before it slowly slips in. your moans groan louder, and her pace quickens.
“el’s, ca- can i please?” you beg, the knot in your stomach was growing rapidly. she lifted her head up for less than one second, a stern ‘cum’ leaving her lips, before she returns back to where her tongue was. you scream as you do, vision going black as ellie fucks you though your orgasm, fingers now rubbing even faster on your clit, causing you to completely come undone and cum all over her face. she doesn’t stop until you’re shaking and overstimulating under her. when she does, the only sounds in the room are your quick pants, and ellie’s bed as she moves to scoot closer towards you.
“woah,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “that was..”
“way overdue” ellie chips in. the two of laugh and you move to lean you head on her shoulder. it’s silent again before you finally speak up.
“i don’t think i ever really thanked you for taking care of my today. i don’t think i would’ve been able to have this much fun today if it wasn’t for you,” you tell her and you feel her hands that were once in your hair, come around and lift your chin to give her a kiss m.
“you don’t need to thank me pretty girl, i wanted to take care of you.” her confession made your heart flutter. “plus i knew that maybe i might have a chance to finally fuck you,” she teases you and you hit her arm, jokingly sending her a scoff.
“you’re right by the way,” she finally adds on. you give her a confused look and hope she takes the hint to explain what she meant. “you’re not abby’s girl.”
“i’m not abby’s girl,” you repeat.
“you’re my girl,” she tells you, eyes never leaving yours, a small smile on her face.
“i’m your girl.”
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
₊* a/n : ahhhh i really hope you guys liked it! 🤍 if you did please let me know because it would mean the world!
love you soooooo much MUAH
#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#ellie smut#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams angst#abby anderson#abby and ellie#abby angst#lesbian
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Chapter 1- The Arrangement
Arranged For Love (Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader)
Series Masterlist
Summary- Everything seemed to be going well for Y/N until it doesn't. Will this life altering event bring her closer to her family. Will this life altering event introduce her to Carlos?
The reader is Y/N, other than that everyone has a name
Y/N was majoring in Business; just like her grandma, Anika Baker had wanted. "You're smart, you're rational and the best of all you're kind" she would tell her grand daughter growing up. That's why she was currently studying to maybe take over her family business when she grew up.
She grew up in a matriarchy, where after the untimely death of her grandfather; her grandmother took the lead and brought the company to where it is now. Eventually, she did step back and let her son, Ivan and daughter-in-law, Rose Aguirre handle it. That was when Y/N was born. The first born of their family, she was so pampered; she got whatever she wanted. She had her dad wrapped around her little pudgy finger.
So, when her parents were away, their grandmother raised her and her siblings. She fed them, helped them with their homework and best of all, told them stories of kings and dragons. Y/N would sit intently while her grandmother would massage her feet after a tiring day at school or give her a head massage when it ached. Y/N would always love spending time with her, one way or another.
Y/N was off too college as soon as she turned 18. She finally got to be back home after 2 years for longer than a few weeks; the reason wasn't something to be happy about since a virus had spread across the world and was killing people at an alarming rate. Which meant school, colleges, offices had all shut down and were working from home. When she hugged her grandma for the first time in 6 months; "You've gotten thinner since the last time I saw you" she squinted her eyes at her grandma. "You know how it is with age, I don't have the appetite anymore" her grandmother reasoned. "Well, you should still eat. I'm gonna make sure you gain weight before I leave" Y/N said determined. "Sure, sweetheart" she laughed. "Let's have food. It's nice to have everyone back home, together for once" she emphasised. Y/N held her grandmother's hand as they walked to the dining table for lunch.
A month or so after she was back, her grandmother had started feeling ill. She wouldn't be able to hold down any food and she had been complaining of a stomach ache. With COVID restrictions, getting an appointment was extremely difficult. After a week or so, thankfully, her dad was now at the doctor's office with his mother. The kids were at home, dotting it down to the regular stomach flu which was taking longer than usual to clear.
What came as a surprise to the family, after a couple tests was that, the matriarch of the house was suffering from stomach cancer. Couple more tests later, and it said that it had advanced quite a bit having spread all over the body. The doctors weren't sure what they could do other than ease her pain. Everyone was crying in their rooms while trying to hold a tough facade in front of Anika, so as to not worry her.
At breakfast, a few days after the diagnosis. "You lot are all cry babies. It's just cancer. I'll get the treatment and be well" Anika smiled. Everyone hoped what she was saying was true. But as the treatments started; things started to get worse for her. The medicines were taking a toll on her. Their once active grandmother was reduced to bathroom runs and staying put in her bed. She barely had the energy to eat on her own.
The matriarch's children were sad and couldn't help but cry since they couldn't do much for their mother other than watch. The grandkids would think of ways to make food exciting for their grandmother. The whole family had come together. They were all living together to care for their ailing mother. "I like this very much" Anika told Y/N. "What do you like, grandma?" she asked. "Having all my children here, fretting over me" she said looking at her 2 children fondly. Y/N smiled, "They always fret over you, for as long as I can remember" she replied. "Hmm...but this feel different...it feels nice" she hummed.
They had a scare a few months later; Anika's health had deteriorated suddenly and needed hospitalisation. When she was admitted in the hospital; everyone went to visit her in turns. "I wish I got to see at least one of my grandkids get married" she said barely above a whisper. She beckoned Y/N forward, "Darling, you're the oldest. You're the smartest. You always listen to your grandma don't you" she cooed. "Grandma, I don't like where this is going." she mumbled. "I know it is too much to ask for but why don't you get married. I'll find you a nice man" she reasoned. "Grandma, no. I'm only 20. I'm not getting married, not yet anyways." she whined. "ugh! I love you grandma, I really do but I don't have any plans of getting married, yet" she said pulling away from her grandma. "I'm going home. I hope you get well soon" she stormed off.
Y/N was fuming, she got that her grandma was sick and wanted to see major milestones in her grandkids lives and she wanted to share her happiness with her too but that doesn't mean she will throw her own granddaughter under the bus. She hated the fact that it was always her who would have to do as the elders told her to. Why couldn't it be her siblings or her cousins for once? Why did she have to get a married now? She has so much she wants to achieve, she can't be tied down just yet. People her age barely even remembered the name of the person they last slept with and she should get married; her grandma had gone crazy, she thought.
While Y/N was losing her mind because her grandma wanted her married; Carlos Sainz Junior was losing his mind since he got a contract with Ferrari next year.
In the world of Formula One, there was a change in tide. Sebastian Vettel would no longer be driving for Ferrari in the upcoming season; instead he was being replaced with an up and coming driving Carlos Sainz who was currently driving for McLaren. COVID had put a damper on things; but nothing could contain Carlos's excitement. He would be driving in red next year, something almost every driver had dreamt of when they dreamt of Formula One.
Carlos was your typical Formula One driver, he asked his father for guidance since he was a Rally Champion and looked up to some great drivers as inspiration. He had big plans; plan of winning his first race, plans of winning a championship title, plans of racing until he was 60 but none of those plans involved getting married any time soon. He couldn't imagine himself settling down, just yet even though his sister was planning on getting married herself. He had a long way to go; the biggest obstacle, he wasn't dating anyone as of yet so obviously marriage was off the table for the foreseeable future.
Now, there's a saying, sickness brings the lost together. That's exactly what had happened. Carlos senior had grown up with a family, albeit only for a few years of his childhood but those were formative years and he had spent a lot of his time with the Kastner family. They were his neighbours and even after they had moved away, they had still stayed in touch. He wouldn't forget their kindness and hospitality. For the few years that they were around he was incharge of making sure the oldest of the Kastner family, Ivan got to and back from school safely.
When Carlos senior found out about the ailing health of Mrs Kastner who would make him delicious food and baby sat them when necessary, he flew in as soon as he could with his family in tow. COVID didn't make it easy to visit the sick but Carlos senior would be damned if he didn't meet or introduce his kids to the woman he talked about. Carlos senior greeted Ivan, "You've aged" he laughed patting his back. "As if you haven't" he clapped back. The two happy to see each other after a very long time apart. "I heard Aunt Anika is sick" Carlos senior spoke. "News travels fast" Ivan chuckled. "Not fast enough since she's been sick for a while and I only found out after she was admitted" Carlos senior pointed out. "Yes, yes, she'll be discharged soon. She's been doing so much better for the past few days" Ivan explained. "That's good to know" Carlos senior sighed. "Can we meet her?" he asked hopeful. "I think she'll be over the moon when she find out you've come. She kept up with all your races" Ivan added. "I'm glad she did. I think it was the combined prayers of my mother and yours that I'm still alive after being this reckless" Carlos senior laughed. "That I will not disagree with" Ivan smiled opening the door to the hospital room where Anika was reading the day's paper. She placed the paper down to see who it was and a smile broke out on her face; "Carlos, darling, how've been? I've missed you" she spoke trying to get up but Carlos senior was already by her side, "Don't get up. I'm right here" he leaned down and hugged her. "I've missed you too." he whispered. She patted his back, "I see you've done well for yourself" she said scanning the faces of the 4 people behind him. He pulled away and introduced his wife and 3 kids to her. "Did he get into rallying just like his father?" she asked shaking Carlos junior's hand. "Worse, he's in Formula One" Carlos senior smiled. "Darling, stay safe. I might have to start praying for one more now" she shook her head. "This is the woman who was best friend's with your grandmother and they love each other too much" Carlos senior announced to his kids. "What team does he race for?" Anika asked Carlos senior drawing his attention. "I'm racing for McLaren now, but I'll be racing for Ferrari next year" Carlos junior replied. "congratulations dear. And Carlos, a bit narcissistic I think to name your kid after you" she laughed.
The atmosphere was lively and bright, everyone was busy catching up with each other and trying to let each other know what was going on with the other.
In all of this, the gears in Anika's head were spinning. If Carlos's son, Carlos was single he would be the right fit for her grand daughter. She had always adored and dotted on Carlos senior growing up, so it would only make sense that she would want a good family to take care of her grand daughter. If there's anything to go by how Carlos senior turned out, Carlos junior would fit right in with their family. She felt giddy thinking about the possibility of merging their two families. She knew if everything went well, they could easily be getting married at the end of the year or the beginning of the next. She just wanted what was good for her grand daughter, having something nice come out of it like a handsome and rich husband was a bonus.
The Sainz would be staying in town for a few days before they would be leaving. Anika had invited them over for dinner once she would be discharged since she couldn't send them away without feeding them herself. It was a day before her discharge and she was sat with both Ivan and Carlos. "Since the two of you are here, there's a proposition I would like to make" she said. The two men sat up straight waiting for Anika to continue. "I might not live long" she began but was cut off by mutual 'nos and you'll live a long life' before she shushed them. "Let's listen to the doctors and I know they are trying their best but we have to be realistic too. If I do live long, I'll get to watch the happiness unfold if don't then I'll at least be a part of some of it." she explained. The two men were very confused with where she was trying to go. "I want to make a proposition like I said, I think it would be great if Carlos's son, Carlos married Ivan's daughter, Y/N. I've always wanted to watch my grand kids get married, this way I can die happy" she finished. Their mouths opened and closed a few times before Carlos spoke, "Aren't they still too young?" he asked. "It's just a suggestion, it's up to you two and them to decided if they'll go through with it. Would I be happy if they got married? Obviously but at the end of the day it'll all up to the kids. I just want what's best for them" Anika said. The two men were thinking. They were stuck. "You two can think about it, maybe we can introduce them to each other at the dinner tomorrow" Anika said hopeful. This was going to be difficult conversation to have for both Carlos and Ivan, they thought.
Taglist- @herexpertcollector @redrevvedup @chaostudee @larastark3107 @jovialpainterunknown @vip-access @sugarvibez @champomiel @inarabee @virazeeee @seonghwaexile @champ15ns @ajthefujoshi @musicheaux @npcmia @marvel-ous-miss-maisie @mochipatch @gleeblegnarp @formula1-motogpfan @taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#f1 fluff#formula one fluff#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula one x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz junior#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz x you#cs55 x reader#cs55 x you#cs55 x y/n#cs55#cs55 fic#cs55 imagine#formula one fic
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𓇼°₊.𝚃𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 ❀ 𝙵𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚝 🥭
—Want you to suck it sloppy, make it spitty. I'm 'bout to call your phone, so come get with me.
Know you don't drink, can you sip me?
‘Dunk Contest,’ Cash Cobain
Last Installation of this ‘mini-series’ … P.1 here -> P.2 here
not the best editing, i know. this fic has been in the drafts for abt a month & ... it's time for their story to be closed out.
10.06k!Warnings: oral (masc. receiving), handj*bs (fem. & masc. recieving), mutual m*sturbation, filthy talk, *verstimulation, low refr*ctory periods, technically w*tersports (minor), edging, excessive amounts of ej*culation, squ*rting, descriptions of character’s body parts (curvaceous/thick/girthy), use of the n-word (all characters & the writer are Black), original characters
The next time the group gets together it’s well into the fall.
Months of distance and busy schedules kept the friends separate. Yet, on a random weekend in October, the stars aligned to grant the friends a day of freedom to meet and catch up.
He won’t admit it aloud—that’s a bit too corny for him—but Ajani missed his people. The life of a working adult only gives but so much time for social gatherings. Especially with a whole friend-group.
Even then, it’s not like he hasn’t seen any of them since the party.
“I’on understand why you couldn’t just ride with me.”
“All my stuff is at my mom’s, ‘Jani.”
If he just closes his eyes, he can see the pout on her face. He glances at the screen, eyeing the contact name: Princxss Dia.
“Really? ‘Cause I almost tripped over your flat iron when I was getting in the shower.”
She groans out loud into the mic. “I knew I left it!”
He smiles, eyes now on the road as he makes a swift turn onto a busy street.
“Fuck,” he mumbles upon seeing the traffic.
“But if I came with you … then they’d know.”
He kisses his teeth, face screwing up. “Man, I care less and less ‘bout that shit every day. I’m pretty sure they know—“
“‘Pretty sure’ is not a confirmation. And I wanna make sure the time is right when we tell them.”
He spots a parking space in front of the restaurant Boku had chosen for the night. No doubt, he’s going to snatch that shit up.
“Why shit gotta be ‘perfect?’” he asks, looking at his rear view camera as he backs into the space.
“I don’t know,” she mumbles. He can hear her moving around on the other side of the line. “I’m trying to … figure out a way to introduce it without … making everything weird,” she sighs out.
“How ‘bout, ‘hey guys, me and Ajani have been dating for a few months now,’” he mocks her voice.
“No.”
He sucks his teeth. “Why not?”
“That’s too blunt!”
“Exactly. What more is there to say? You wanna tell them the whole backstory? ‘Cause I’on really think they need to know that.”
“I’m not saying they do. I just think we need to … soften the approach.”
He puts his car in park before shutting it off, the engine dying down. “I’on know … what approach you talking ‘bout, but when you ready to stop hiding, you lemme know so I could book my appointment.”
“Appointment?”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? I wanted to get your name tatted on my forehead.”
“ … Shut up.”
He laughs quietly to himself as he pulls down his sun visor. “You almost ready,” he asks, checking his appearance in the mirror.
It’s quiet for a couple of seconds. “No.”
His smile drops and he kisses his teeth. A second passes as he glares at the phone. Then, he picks it up. “Yo, answer my FaceTime.”
The mode of the call switches, bringing both of them into view on either’s screen. He licks his lips, getting a clear view of her pretty face as her phone is propped up against her vanity.
“Why you only got your makeup done?”
She frowns, setting powder decorating her face. “Because I did my hair first. It’s hair, makeup, then clothes.”
He only releases a sigh, unable to even be really upset.
“Aight, then hurry up. I told you we gonna have to work on that late shit.”
She smiles, reaching for a brush to dust off the powder. “Sorry, baby.”
He hums, eyeing her as he holds his phone closely. “You look good.”
She exchanges her brush for a lip pencil. “Thank you.” She tries not to smile too hard, careful not to mess up as she applies her liner.
“What you wearing?”
She blends out the harsh line of her dark brown liner with a finger. “A dress.”
He waits for her to explain further, but the explanation doesn’t come. “That’s it?”
“Mhm.” She quickly glances at the screen, looking away before she cracks a smile.
“Can I see it?”
“Nope.”
Now she’s smiling, a devious little one, too.
“Yeah, okay,” he scoffs. “You just make sure it’s no crazy ass shit. You know how Big Daddy gets.”
Her head jerks back as she looks at the screen, flabbergasted. “Don’t ever in your life … call yourself that again.”
“You just make sure you know,” he pushes before breaking into a smile, almost laughing. “But nah, forreal. That ass ain’t been getting smaller so … keep it cute.”
She rolls her eyes with pursed lips. “Shut up.”
He scoffs, looking out the window of his car. “Yeah … you think I’m joking.” He scoffs.
“Are you?”
He looks back at her, noting her nonchalance as she applies gloss over her lip combo.
“Play with me if you want to.” He licks his lips. His gaze falls to the exposed middle of her chest as her robe has slipped open. “I’on need niggas eyeing my shit.”
“Okay, Ajani.”
“Nah, it’s not Ajani,” he mocks her voice, earning a glare. “That’s Big Daddy to you—“
“I’m hanging up!”
She reaches forward, snatching up her phone.
“Don’t you wear nothing crazy!”
“Bye!”
The call ends abruptly, leaving him to shake his head. Not too long after pocketing his phone, he leaves the car.
The only thing that’s on his mind being her.
Just before he enters the restaurant, he shoots her one last text.
Jani: lmk when u ready Ima call a uber
His face almost splits in half with how hard he smiles as he daps up his boys.
“Finally, nigga! We expected your ass to be here sooner,” Boku tells him.
“Chill, it was mad traffic,” he laughs.
“Nah, facts. It’s mad people out tonight,” Mykel says.
The three are huddled close in the waiting area of the restaurant. All of the constant shifting to make way for entering and leaving patrons has pushed them to the corner.
“Forreal. Yo, why you pick this place?” Ajani looks to Boku. “I seen this shit blow up on TikTok.”
“Nigga, that’s where I got it from.”
All three dissolve into boisterous laughter, because Boku would be the one to make such a mistake.
Mykel shakes his head. “I’m already knowing the food and service ‘bout to be ass.”
“Nah, facts,” Ajani agrees.
“Aight, now. Not too much,” Boku chimes in. “‘Long as the drinks good, I could give less of a fuck about what they onion rings taste like.”
He and Mykel break off into a mini side conversation of their own, a usual occurrence between all three of them.
As they do so, Ajani pulls out his phone to check his notifications. Even though he doesn’t see one, he constantly refreshes the screen for a possible hidden text message that he just happened to miss.
None.
“‘Jani, you know where the girls at?”
Hesitantly, he looks up at the guys. “Nah,” he shakes his head, face blank. “Why would I know?” He makes a face.
“I’on know,” Mykel looks off to the side. “I thought Diamanté would’a told you something.”
“Why it gotta be Dia?”
“Nigga, don’t act dumb,” Boku butts in. “‘Cause y’all be talking.”
“I talk to Aleya and Sevyn, too.” When he laughs—the loud music masking its awkward tone—his eyes shift between his friends.
“Not like you talk to Dia,” he scoffs. “That’s for damn sure.”
Sucking his teeth, Ajani wear a mask of confusion. “Nigga, shut up. You still on that shit—“
“‘Cause I know your ass still likes her!”
“Yo, I’m not even gonna lie,” Mykel starts. “I’ma have to side with Bo’ on this one. You might as well tell her at this point.”
His face contorts with annoyance.
Nigga, shut up.
“That’s if he not already fucking her,” Boku laughs.
His brows pull together at Boku’s brash statement. “Yo, what?”
Mykel rolls his lips inward, watching the two with caution. He questions, should he step in between this?
“Nah, I’m just saying! You’on gotta be embarrassed—”
“I ain’t embarrassed, nigga. There’s not shit to say, fuck I’ma be embarrassed for?”
Boku laughs, glancing at Mykel for backup. The other man remains quiet.
“Aight, then stand on it! Just say you fuckin’ her—“
Ajani doesn’t even realize that he takes a step forward. “Yo, shut the fuck up talking ‘bout her like that—“
“Alright, chill out now.” Mykel steps between them, placing a hand in front of Ajani to keep him back.
Boku pulls his brows together. “Yo, wassup with you?”
“Ain’t shit up with nothing, you just make sure you keep shit respectful.” The scowl on his lips only deepens.
Boku raises his hands in defense. “My fault, bro. I wasn’t tryna offend—”
“Yeah, that’s ’cause you just open your mouth to say bullshit.” Ajani backs up the more Mykel pushes against him. “Like she not your fuckin’ friend, too, my nigga. What?”
“You good, bro. You good,” Mykel tells him. “Relax.”
“Just fuckin’ talkin’,” he rambles.
Before he can acknowledge the apology, his phone buzzes in his hand. Fully stepping away from them, Ajani checks his messages.
Princxss Dia: I’m ready
He wastes no time to order Diamanté’s Uber ride.
With the distance between them and the Lou music playing overhead, it’s hard for him to hear. He knows Mykel and Boku are talking about him.
He refrains from even thinking much about it, though. Because just talking to Diamanté is putting him in a better mood.
Jani: its coming in 5 min
*screenshot of the Uber order*
Princxss Dia: tyy daddy🤗
Jani: 🙄
Princxss Dia: 💀
Jani: send me a picture
I wanna c u
Princxss Dia: it’s gonna ruin the surprise
Jani: surprise
🤨
Princxss Dia: 💀
Jani: stop playing Dia
read
Thankfully, Aleya and Sevyn arrive not too long after. Their presences lighten the atmosphere considerably.
Especially when Sevyn and Boku fall into conversation—a playful argument as usual about some dumb shit.
“Oh my God, I miss Dia’,” Aleya pouts. “Where is she?” She does a full-body turn, looking to Ajani.
Boku keeps quiet this time.
The question garners attention from the others within the group, who are now curious of his answer.
He kisses his teeth. “Why yall not asking her? Damn, what the fuck?”
Sevyn’s face screws up as her neck jerks back. “Nigga, calm the fuck down.”
“Right,” Aleya eyes him as her lips twist into an ugly scowl. “I just thought you’d know since y’all seem to be close.”
Sevyn hums in agreement. “Real close.”
Now, he’s making a face. “What that mea—“
“Hi guys!”
The much softer voice breaks the conversation, catching everyone’s attention.
Walking towards them, Diamanté’s bright smile lights up the dimly lit space.
Her straightened, black hair flows down her back. Being pulled back, it leaves her entire outfit exposed: a simple black Skims dress, flowing to her ankles.
The classy, white Hermes slides on her feet show off her white French toes. A small white crossbody purse ties the dress with the shoes.
Yeah, she’s cute and all—Ajani would never deny her that. But even underneath the restaurant’s dim, multicolored lighting, he can see every detail of her body “hiding” beneath the thin, ribbed fabric.
Down to her fucking belly piercing.
His eyes flick up to look into hers. He’s staring hard.
“Finally!” Aleya screams.
She runs to meet the short woman halfway, throwing her arms around her. Sevyn is right behind her, doing the same.
The women hug each other and their bodies sway like palm trees in the wind. Ajani’s happy for them—Diamanté, at least. It’s been so long since she’s seen them.
However, the happiness is short lived.
Others seem to be enjoying the women’s show happiness, too. Ajani looks over them, catching a small group of guys watching them.
What hint of a smile that was on his face shrinks immediately.
“I missed you guys,” Dia tells them as she pulls back, covering her mouth.
“We need to go out more,” Sevyn says. “‘Cause not seeing each other for this long is fucking ridiculous.”
“I know,” she pouts.
“Girl, you look so fucking good—” A sharp gasp slices through Aleya’s sentence. She reaches out to grab Dia’s arm, pulling her forward to peer down her back. “Girl, your ass!”
Looking too, Sevyn’s mouth drops in shock. “Damn, bitch!”
Diamanté only laughs as she looks between her friends.
“It looks so fucking big,” Aleya says in awe. She looks over at Sevyn. “No, like deadass. Like it looks bigger.”
“How she get more ass and mine getting flatter?” Sevyn jokes.
“Drop the routine!” Aleya reaches behind Diamanté, grabbing a good handful of her ass. She sticks out her tongue.
Diamanté only laughs harder.
“Fuck a routine,” Sevyn declares. “Who you been fucking?” The interrogative expression on her face is intense.
“Oh my God,” she says, hand over her mouth as her smile only grows.
“It’s so heavy,” Aleya says in amazement, using both hands to lift her ass. Squeezing tightly, the dimpled skin can be seen through the fabric. “I can’t even hold it all, what the fuck!”
As the girls continue to laugh, Ajani only continues to watch the leering men.
It takes everything in him not to go towards the women and tell them to stop.
Playfully, Diamanté rolls her eyes. “You guys are chatting.”
“No, girl. Your shit is mad fat, like what the fuck?”
“Okay, okay,” Diamanté says. “Can we sit now?”
Sevyn purses her lips, eyeing her friend. “Mhm. Look at you, you just so tea. Like you come up in here glowing, ass fatter, face card on 10, inches—you just showing out tonight!”
“Facts,” Aleya agrees.
Finally, they return to the other half of the group. Diamanté breaks away from her girls to greet the guys.
“Wassup, Dia,” Mykel gives her a side hug.
“Hey,” she sings.
She pulls away to give Boku the same embrace.
“Hey, Dia.”
“Hi, Boku,” she smiles.
Boku and Ajani make eye contact for a split second. Quickly, Boku looks away just before pulling back.
Ajani doesn’t get the chance to really mug that nigga how he wants to as Diamanté makes her way over to him.
“Hiii,” her voice is much softer.
She’s trying to fight back a smile, he can tell. But, it’s too cute as her teeth slowly come into full display.
The corners of his mouth lift uncontrollably. “Hey.”
Wordlessly, she steps into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. His arms circle around her waist, pulling her body closer.
“Why you ain’t text me when you got here?”
His chest vibrates with each word. She can even hear the smile in his voice.
“I forgot.”
“Would’a came out and got you.”
She pulls away with a laugh, careful to keep their interaction brief enough so that they don’t get their friends started.
“Damn, Ajani. She wasn’t going nowhere.”
Clearly, that didn’t work.
His smile drops as his eyes flit over to Aleya, who wears a smug grin on her lips.
“Aight, now that all y’all niggas is here, I’ma see if we could check in for the table,” Boku announces.
He parts from the group to make his way to the hostess’ booth.
Conversation between the remaining five is quite mellow. Ajani finds himself standing back, only admiring Diamanté as she speaks.
Even when she’s quiet, he’s paying close attention to her body language and the way she reacts to things said.
“Let’s go,” Boku says as he rejoins the group.
“Thank you, God,” Aleya praises.
“Facts, these heels are killing my feet,” Sevyn complains as she starts after Boku.
As everyone else follows, heading towards the table, Ajani stays behind. Before Diamanté can catch up, he grabs ahold of her hand, stopping her in her tracks.
“Hol’on, ‘cause I didn’t get a proper ‘hello.’”
He pulls her body back in close, missing the feel of her against him. He almost sighs when her soft body presses against his.
Diamanté allows herself to smile as big as she wants to. She angles her head up for a kiss. The gentleman he is, Ajani meets her halfway and presses his lips against hers.
A small peck isn’t enough, as he finds himself going back in for a couple more. And as he does so, he doesn’t resist the urge to reach behind her and cop a feel of her ass himself.
His lips plant mini smooches from her cheek all the way down to her neck. She turns her head to the side, giving him more access.
“You look mad good,” he says into her skin.
His muffled voice tickles her skin, pulling a bubbly giggle out of her. “You told me that already.”
“Aight, and I’m telling you again.” Ajani pulls back just far enough to look her in the eyes.
Damn, he really meant that shit. It’s almost unbelievable how bad she is. Sometimes he wonders how the fuck he was able to bag her.
“But I also told you not to come outside wearing no shit like this—“
She squeals as he lays a harsh smack to her ass, gripping the fat immediately after.
“Ajani!” She whisper-shouts, eyes wide with shock.
He only bites down on his bottom lip, eyes flitting past her to see the group of men from earlier still in the same spots.
Except this time, they’re glaring.
“Told you I ain’t want you showing off my shit like this.”
His other hand cradles her neck, squeezing just enough as he plants another smooch on her lips.
When he pulls back, he sees the inkling of a dazed look in her low eyes. Even from behind those big ass glasses.
“Okay,” she whines softly.
“Mmh.”
She begins to laugh, because she can definitely feel herself slipping into a mood.
“C’mon, before I fuck ya lil’ ass up out here.” His hands fall from her. “Got niggas looking at you all crazy.”
He holds his hand out for her to take. When she does, they make their way over to the table.
However, before they get close enough, they place some distance between themselves.
Conversation at the table is all smiles and laughter over their platters and drinks.
Speaking of drinks, no one at the table is too good to pass up a bit of alcohol. Not even those who drove here.
“See this? This right here?” Sevyn taps an acrylic nail to the glass of her fruity drink. “I’ma need me some more’a that!”
“Mhm,” Aleya hums, sipping on hers through the straw.
Liquor seems to bring the conversation out of the friends. But, Ajani refrains from specifically addressing Boku. And Diamanté finds herself becoming more and more quiet.
Even with her besties around her, she can’t seem to make herself speak. What can she say, when all of her thoughts are filled with Ajani? Definitely not anything that should be said out-loud.
At the very least, on a FaceTime call with just the girls.
Hiding behind her lemon drop, she watches him from across the table with low eyes. Every time he smiles, he does so just enough to give a peek at his grillz.
Fuck, he looks so good. He smells even better. And the way he was choking her up out there, smacking her ass—
No lie, it made her wet. Her clit was thumping for sure. The liquor isn’t helping as it’s bringing up memories.
Like how just a couple of nights ago, she was staying over at his apartment. It was a time.
Two shots of Don was all it took for her to end up on her tummy, getting dicked down.
He fucked her stupid that night. She almost wished she wasn’t on birth control. But that was just the liquor talking.
Her eyes flutter close as her thighs squeeze together. She has to take a deep breath.
“And Dia’s ass is already off the shits!”
A chorus of laughter sounds throughout the table, knocking her from her thoughts. As she looks around her, she offers a shy smile.
“Y’all some damn lightweights,” Sevyn continues to joke.
“I ain’t—look—I ain’t no fuckin’ lightweight,” Boku shouts, holding his glass up.
“Maaan,” Mykel gives him a look. “You better slow down, nigga.”
More laughter sounds. With the spotlight off of her, Diamanté’s thoughts circle back to Ajani.
And speaking of, he takes a sip of his alcohol to hide his smirk. He’s not oblivious, he could feel her staring this whole time.
Of course, it flatters him. If it’s one thing about Diamanté, it’s that she gets freaky off the liquor. And he can tell what’s running through her mind.
Because he’s thinking about the same thing. He’s just got to hold out for the rest of the night.
Leave it up to Boku to plan some weird ass shit. Who the fuck goes bowling after dinner and drinks?
Shit, at least the place serves drinks. And if Ajani was fucking with him right now, he’d commend him for at least picking a good spot.
The alley is surprisingly busy around this time, for it being almost eleven pm. It’s mostly dark in here, just like the damn restaurant.
Why doesn’t Boku ever pick places with good lighting?
“On my soul, I’m washing y’all niggas,” Aleya swears. She shoves a foot into the rented pair of shoes.
Mykel shakes his head, strapping up his pair. “Here she go.”
“Oh shit … I don’t got not socks, y’all.” The usual rasp in Sevyn’s voice is worse due to the drinks.
“Me neither,” Diamanté says, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she fans herself.
Not only is she just a bit horny, but she’s fucking hot. The only downside to drinking. She only hopes she doesn’t sweat her silk press out.
“There’s a booth that sells them,” Boku says.
“Honestly, I don’t think I’ma play. I’ll just watch y’all,” she smiles.
“Ugh! Boringgg,” Aleya groans, throwing her head back.
Sevyn looks to Diamanté. “Okay, well, you could come with me while I buy my socks?”
She nods, prompting her to stand up.
“Can’t wait to wear them shoes. Fuck these heels, bro.” Sevyn holds on to her shoulder for support.
“Aye, if y’all get lost, call one’a us,” Ajani says. “It’s too many people in here tonight.”
“Sure thing, officer!” Sevyn scoffs.
Ajani gives her a scowl, and Dia gives him a short wave before the two of them are off.
“Damn, that’s a long ass line!” Sevyn scowls seeing the bodies fill the area.
“Oh my gosh,” Diamanté frowns.
“I do not wanna be standing on these fucking heels any longer!”
Kissing her teeth, she reluctantly joins the line, Dia in tow. As they wait, both women are scrolling through their phones trying to pass the time.
But it doesn’t take long for them to get to talking.
“If I ask you this question, you gonna be honest?”
Diamanté peers up from her screen to look at Sevyn. Her brows pull together in question. “Yeah?”
Sevyn eyes her for a moment. “You and Ajani fucking? Like—and be honest. Don’t lie to me girl, I hate that shit.”
A sigh leaves Diamanté. Clicking her phone off, she fully looks her friend in the eyes. “Yeah—“
“I knew it! I fucking knew iiit!” Sevyn jumps up and down on her supposedly aching feet. “Fuck! Since when?”
Trying to keep herself from smiling, she stays quiet.
A gasp. “It was after the party, wasn’t it?”
She nods, her smile growing.
They move up in the line.
“Bitch! I fucking—nah, ‘cause I checked your fucking lo’ and your ass was still there after we all left. Uh-uh, y’all so damn nasty.”
“Okay,” she rolls her eyes. “Don’t say anything about it. I’m still trying to … figure out a way to tell the others.” She frowns to herself.
Sevyn makes a face. “Girl, what you mean? Just drop the tea,” she laughs. “Shit, you could do it in the fucking chat. Matter fact, I don’t even think niggas really give a fuck. We all grown, Dia’. And it’s not like we all didn’t see it coming…”
“Shut up.” She rolls her eyes. “But, I just wanna tell ‘Leya at least, before I really … break the news.”
“Aight, I feel you.” Sevyn looks her over before breaking out into a dirty smile. “So he the reason your ass been getting fatter.”
“Oh my gosh.” She looks away from her, shaking her head.
“That’s fucking crazy. Who the fuck knew he was putting it down like that?”
Just before she can respond, her phone lights up with a message.
Jani: wya
U got lost ?
“Speak’a the fucking devil,” Sevyn says over her shoulder, spotting the message.
“Hush,” Dia laughs, typingout her response.
“I like how he ain’t even ask about me. So it’s just fuck me, then.”
“What if the ‘y’ means y’all?”
Sevyn rolls her eyes before her face settles. “But, at least he’s crazy about you. That’s all I want for you.”
Diamanté looks up at her friend with a soft smile. “Thank you.”
“Mhm. I seen y’all at the restaurant.”
Her smile drops and her eyes widen just a bit. “Sevyn.”
“What?”
“If you saw why did you ask?”
She smirks. “I just wanted to see if you would lie.”
The shorter woman groans out.
“Yeah, ya lil’ ass is mad freaky, eewww.” She laughs obnoxiously. “Never thought I’d see you get choked up like that. Or him smacking ya shit—”
“Stop, please!” She hides her face in her hands.
“Oh, I just know he told you not to wear that shit,” she cackles. “You in trouble,” she sings. “That nigga had that crazy look in his eyes. Especially when he seen them niggas staring in the restaurant.”
“Are you serious?”
“Mhm,” she nods with crossed arms. “You just make sure you stay on his good side. Before I become an aunty too soon.”
Diamanté shoves her shoulder. “Don’t wish that on me.”
“Oh, bitch, I’m actually wishing that shit and more. You know I always wanted a little niece or nephew—even if ‘Jani’s annoying ass is the father.” She rolls her eyes.
“I rebuke kids,” she laughs. “Hell no.”
“Yeah, okay. If you say that, you better not tell me that y’all be fucking raw.”
Diamanté doesn’t say anything to that.
When the game commences, Diamanté is the only one to sit it out. And she’s having just as good a time as any.
Mykel had ordered wings for the group—lemon pepper and garlic Parmesan. Drinks, too, of course.
She nibbles on a couple of wings, courtesy of Ajani feeding them to her.
He’s had his fair share of extra drinks. And with each sip, he’s caring less and less about hiding shit from their friends.
Speaking of drinks, Dia’s been washing her food down with sips of water and gulps of fruity, alcoholic drinks. And she really should’ve stopped herself.
Because now she’s got to go to the bathroom.
“Nah, I dead gotta go, too,” Sevyn says.
“I’ma come with y’all.” Aleya gets on her feet.
“Damn, y’all just gonna pause the game like that?” Mykel says, biting into a wing.
“We’ll be back!” Aleya declares.
The women make their way over to the bathrooms, which—unsurprisingly—has a line.
“Fuuuck! All these fucking lines!” Sevyn groans, stomping her foot.
“I know,” Dia says, shifting in her spot as she holds her lower stomach. “I gotta go … so bad,” she huffs.
“I bet you the men’s bathroom not even full like that.”
Sevyn scoffs. “I’m not going to no niggas’ bathroom at a bowling alley. ‘Bouta smell like funky dick and straight piss in there.”
Dia laughs.
“But, shit, since we here…” Sevyn turns to her. “Tell her.”
Aleya looks to Diamanté.
“Oh, um … Ajani and I—“
“I fucking knew it!”
Sevyn throws her head back in laughter.
“Y’all could not hide that shit!” Her eyes are wide as she points back at their lane. “When I seen that nigga feeding you them wings, it was certified!”
“Bitch, you don’t even wanna know what I saw,” Sevyn says, clinging to her.
As she and Diamanté catch her up on everything, they inch closer to the bathroom door.
Diamanté tells them about the most recent date they’d been on together. And while it’s an interesting story, Sevyn can’t help but to feel eyes on them.
She turns her head, to see a group of men looking their way. They make eye contact, as it appears that they’re pushing their friend to make a move.
“Oh fuck no.”
Aleya and Diamanté look at her.
“Y’all, is that them niggas from the restaurant?”
They look over at the men, one of them immediately making eye contact with Dia.
“Please don’t tell me they about to come over here,” Aleya scowls. “Ugh, I hate niggas!”
She says it loud enough for them to hear. And yet, one of them is still making their way over.
Sevyn kisses her teeth. “Bruh.”
The guy making his way over has his eyes dead set on Diamanté. His long locs are pulled back into barrel twists and a mature beard sits on the lower half of his face.
His dangling cross earring makes Sevyn scoff. “This corny ass nigga,” she mumbles.
“Wassup,” he greets, only looking at Diamanté.
Rude, she thinks. Her nose wrinkles as the smell of weed fills the space.
“Hello to you, too,” Aleya sasses.
“My bad,” he laughs. “I just wanted to come talk to you,” he nods over at Dia.
“Okay,” she says quietly.
“You fine as shit, I’m not even gonna cap,” he smiles, showing a gold canine tooth. “Not on no creep-shit, but I seen you at The Palacades and,” he shrugs. “Don’t hurt to try, right?”
“Proceeds to be on some creep-shit,” Sevyn says.
“Right,” Aleya agrees.
The two share a laugh, causing the man to glance at them. He doesn’t let that deter him, though.
“You … saw me there?” Diamanté asks, her face creasing with confusion.
“Yeah you and that guy.”
Now it’s Aleya’s turn to make a face.
“Hol’up,” Sevyn laughs, shaking her head.
“Y’know, I just wanted to shoot my shot. Like, you never know. Y’all might not even be serious—“
“Well, they are. And you’re mad weird for asking.” She twists her face up. “What the fuck? Nigga is you cool?”
“Hold on,” he says, turning to Sevyn. “I don’t remember asking about you. So, I don’t know why you tryna get involved.” He’s getting visibly irritated.
“She don’t have to,” Aleya steps in. “If you seen my friend with her nigga, why are you harassing her?”
Worry makes itself evident on Dia’s face. She’s not sure where this conversation is going to go. And she definitely forgot her pepper gel at home.
“‘Cause that corny ass move that nigga tried to do wasn’t shit,” he laughs. “He think smacking ya ass was gonna scare somebody off? I don’t give a fuck about that shit,” he laughs.
“Okay, no—“ Diamanté starts, but Sevyn is too quick to come to her defense.
“Get the fuck outta here, you weirdo ass nigga. She don’t want you!”
“She said that, though?”
“She ain’t say she wanted you neither,” Aleya says.
“Man, y’all bitches kill me.”
“Bitches?” They all say in unison.
“Yeah. It’s always the ugly ones talking the most shit—“
“Nigga you look like a fucking dog in the face yourself!” Aleya gets to pointing.
And as their voices climb, both sides growing more aggressive, Diamanté finds herself paralyzed with fear.
She is not sober enough for this.
Back at the lane, the guys keep themselves busy. Mykel cheats, taking the girl’s turns for them—and throwing horrendous gutter balls.
Meanwhile, Boku and Ajani are seated, munching on the leftover wings. Well, Ajani doesn’t eat as much as Boku, but he’s got a couple of bites in.
Neither of them address the other. And it’s … annoying.
Although Ajani is still upset about what was said, it sucks that this is how their first time hanging out in a minute has to be like this.
But he’s not a pussy. And he’s damn sure not speaking first.
A nudge to his shoulder brings him out of his phone. He looks up, seeing Boku stare at him.
“Yo, I’m sorry ‘bout earlier, bro. I should’ve never said that shit. I just be talking sometimes, you know that. And I be saying the wrong shit.”
“Mmh.”
“And Dia’s my friend. It’s not right’a me to be disrespecting her like that. If you want, shit, I’ll even apologize to her, too.”
Ajani watches him for a moment.
Their silence is broken by a shout from Mykel in the distance, cheering as he scores a strike.
“Nah … you ain’t gotta do that,” he finally says. “I respect the apology. But watch your mouth ‘bout her.”
Boku nods in understanding.
Silence falls over them again as the sounds of the alley machines, the music, people talking, and the arcade games fill the space.
Ajani almost feels himself dissociating again as his tipsy brain thinks. And one thing about him, is that his mouth runs.
Swallowing, he looks away from his friend. “Nah … you was right, though.”
Boku wears a questioning look on his face. “What you mean?”
It takes a second before Ajani finally looks at him. “We fucking with each other.”
He tries to conceal his excitement. But, he just can’t stop himself from dapping him up.
“My nigga—uh, no disrespect, though.”
Ajani shakes his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“Y’all better come play before I do your turns!”
“Nigga, fuck the game! Come over here, Jay got something to say!”
Reluctantly placing the ball back onto the rack, Mykel heads over to them.
“What you got to say?” He takes the last garlic Parmesan wing, earning a glare from Boku.
“Guess,” Boku says.
Mykel turns to Ajani, eyeing him. “You and Dia?”
He nods, earning another smile from their standing friend. “That’s what I’m talking ‘bout,” he laughs. “You asked her?”
“Yeah,” Ajani says, keeping it short. But his smile says everything, as he reminisces on that night.
“When y’all got together?” Boku asks.
He kisses his teeth, feeling the liquor in his system. “Uh … at the party.”
Both men stare at him with wide eyes.
“Nigga—that’s almost six months!” Boku shouts.
“It’s no way y’all hid that shit for that long,” Mykel laughs.
“Wasn’t my idea,” Ajani says. “She over here, scared to say shit. But me—I’on give a fuck.” He scoffs. “I’a get her shit tatted, she keep fuckin’ with me,” he shakes his head, toying with the ends of a braid.
Boku and Mykel share a look, and a thought—this nigga is drunk.
Before either of them could voice it, however, Sevyn’s raspy ass voice enters their ears.
“Y’all hear that shit?” Mykel asks, twisting and turning to find the source of the voice.
“Why the fuck she yelling?” Boku asks, looking for her, too.
“How they still not back from the bathroom?”
It’s Ajani that spots her first—in a nigga’s face.
“Yo,” he says, sitting up, more alert than ever.
The guys notice, too. And it doesn’t take long for Ajani to get out of his seat. He’s the first to make it over there. And immediately he’s hit with the smell of weed.
“What’s going on?”
He immediately looks to Diamanté, who has discomfort written all over her face.
“Hell no, come get this nigga,” Aleya shout, pointing at the man.
Ajani watches him back up an inch as he raises his hands in defense. As he stares at the guy, he finds him just a tad bit familiar.
“What’s the issue?”
“It’s no issue, bro—“
“Clearly, it is!” Sevyn cuts in. “‘Cause you was throwing that ‘bitch’ word around a lot—“
“Look, I was just tryna get at your friend,” he says, pointing to Diamanté.
Ajani’s brows furrow as he looks between her and the guy.
“She don’t want you,” Aleya screams.
Then it clicks; This guy was apart of that group that caught themselves staring Diamanté down.
“Go back to your fuckin’ group,” Ajani says. “You a fuckin’ cornball,” he spits.
“Bum ass nigga—and he stink!” Aleya points at him.
“Man, get the fuck outta here, she don’t need no other nigga.”
Ajani steps forward as he speaks, the other man stepping back.
“Aight, my fault—“
“It was. The fuck?” Sevyn says.
Finally, the man walks off, leaving the friends alone once more. The women seem to let out a sigh of release, and Diamanté seems to cling to Ajani’s side.
“That fucking weirdo. Shit just pissed me off I don’t even wanna pee no more.” Sevyn crosses her arms, her anger slow to dissipate.
“No, I’m still gonna use the bathroom,” Aleya scoffs.
“Me too.”
Diamanté’s quiet voice grabs their attentions, especially Ajani’s.
His brows furrow. “Nah, you could use the bathroom home.”
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“Yeah, fuck all this shit. We going.”
“Ajani—“
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’on give a fuck. That nigga got me fucked up.”
Aleya and Sevyn share a knowing look.
“Tell ‘em niggas we gone,” he says, taking up Diamanté’s hand.
Too tipsy to really object, she tells her friends ‘goodnight,’ promising to text them tomorrow.
Sevyn and Aleya’s farewells are drowned out by their quickly increasing distance and the overall loudness of the alley.
When they finally make it outside, the cool breeze of tonight hits her clammy skin. She squeezes his hand tighter.
“Fuckin’ bum ass nigga—I knew I seen him.”
She peers up at him, his eyes staring off into the distance as he speaks his thoughts.
“Should’a fucked him up, if I’m being honest.”
When they reach his car, Ajani opens the passenger door for her. She climbs inside, relieved to be off her feet.
But before he closes the door, he bends down to look her in the eyes.
“You good?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
“He didn’t touch you or nothing?”
“No, Ajani. I’m good.”
With a nod, he shuts the car door and walks over to his side before sliding behind the wheel.
The drive to his apartment is quiet for the first few minutes. Even his music plays low over the speakers.
She watches his side profile, noting the lowness of his eyes and the way his shoulders sag.
“I’m sorry.”
His eyes don’t leave the road, but his brows furrow. “For what?”
She only shrugs, the small action enough to garner his attention for just a second.
“You ain’t do shit. That nigga was just a creep.”
“Yeah,” she exhales.
“Shit, but I definitely shouldn’t be driving right now.” He drags a hand down his face. “Just tryna get in my fuckin’ bed.”
Licking her lips, Diamanté busies her hands by toying with her phone. “Are you really tired?”
He gives her a quick side eye as a lazy smile presents on his face.
“Depends … what you tryna do?”
She looks forward at the nearly empty road ahead of them. Then she shrugs.
“Yeah, I seen the way you was looking at me back at the restaurant... Lil’ freaky ass.”
She laughs just a bit. “It’s been a couple days … what do you expect?”
He scoffs, leaning back in his seat as he leaves one hand on the wheel. “You really sumn else,” he says low, rubbing his chin.
Chewing on her lower lip, she stares at him as a thought brews in her head. Her silence cause him to look her way.
“What you thinkin’ ‘bout over there?”
She releases her bottom lip. Her eyes drop to his lap.
“Can I touch it?”
He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Could do whatever you want … it’s yours.”
With caution, she slowly reaches over the console and spreads her hand over his lap. She traces the barely-hard length through his jeans.
He retains his composure even as he struggles to focus on driving properly.
“You smelled so good today,” she whispers.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” she breathes out. “So fucking good. She laughs softly, pulling a smile out of him.
The more she rubs up on him, the harder he gets. She licks her lips and reaches over with the other hand to unbutton his jeans and zip them down.
She slips a hand between the layer of his jeans and his boxers, feeling him up through the thin fabric.
“When we was at the restaurant, I was thinking of last weekend, when I stayed over.”
Cradling the underside of his dick, her thumb swipes over his fat tip. Excitement races through her as she feels every curve of the mushroom-shaped head.
A faint twitch makes her smile bigger.
“How you was fucking me.”
Her voice slightly lifts at the end of her sentence, as if the thought alone was enough to get her going.
He found that shit so sexy.
Her thumb continues to rub circles into him. However, she also begins to squeeze him in her palm.
Ajani shifts in his seat, his legs widening on their own.
“Fuck, you were so deep, baby.”
She’s squeezing him harder, her little hand working his tip.
“So fucking deep—“
He barely hears the tiny moan that slips out. It takes his attention off of the road for a couple of seconds.
Just long enough for him to catch her with her other hand now between her own legs, dress hiked up around her waist.
He quickly looks away. The sight sends another rush of blood to his dick, and she can feel it as he pulses in her hand.
As one of her hands feels along his length, the other presses against the seat of her damp panties. The pressure pulls a shiver out of her.
“Oh, shit,” she gasps, quietly. “Fuck, I still have to pee.” Her thighs clamp around her wrist as she remembers her plight.
He glances at her again, trying to fight the melting of his brain as she continues to get him off.
“Keep going.”
His raspy voice catches her off guard.
“W-what?”
He licks his lips and swallows, taking a turn onto a major roadway. “Keep touching yourself.”
“I still have to pe—“
“Hold it.”
Her silence earns another look her way.
“I mean it, too. Just got this shit detailed … so don’t fuck up my seats.”
The gentleness of his voice makes her clench.
His head almost falls back when a tight pressure surrounds his balls. It’s hard to keep his eyes open.
Kicking off her sandal, Diamanté pulls a leg up onto the seat. Her French-tipped toes dig into the shiny, smooth leather as she opens herself up wider.
She rubs herself through her thin panties with a full hand. As she falls into a rhythm, both of her hands sync together as she pleasures both herself and Ajani.
Her legs open up even wider as she changes from using her full hand to just her middle and ring fingers.
Pushed together, she rubs slow, sloppy circles over her clit. The swollen bud pulses, pushing through her thick folds and even creating a small bump through the thin material.
Her wrist aches, but she doesn’t stop. Her pussy clenched repeatedly and her breathing grows unsteady.
Slow, lazy blinks come before her eyes roll back closed. She whimpers to herself.
Ajani tries not to swerve as his brain tries to focus on two things at once. But, he can’t stop his hips from fucking into her hand—even if just a little bit.
Diamanté sends three, solid smacks to her pussy. Upon the third one, her thigh snap shut and her eyes squeeze closed. Her mouth hangs open as her body freezes.
Before she can stop it, her body lets loose for a split second. Just a tiny stream lets out, creating a small soak-spot into her underwear. Immediately, she regains control, stopping her release.
The pace she’d been able to keep up falters as she grows weak from her own hand.
“Keep going,” he tells her.
She shakes her head first. “I … I can’t.”
“Dia—“
“I can’t, I can’t—“
“Move ya hand.”
He pries her thighs open with his free hand, and snatches hers from between them.
He replaces her with his touch, cupping the fat mound before sliding his fingers against her. He feels the small wet spot, and it makes his dick harder.
“Told you to hold it.” He lays a smack down on her clit, and her legs try to close around his arm.
A louder moan leaves her this time. But, she holds it as best as she can.
“And keep squeezing my shit,” he says, his voice deep and heavy with lust.
Mewling, she gives her focus to his dick. Rubbing and squeezing it. And when that’s no longer enough, she pulls him out of his boxers.
“Shit…” he exhales in relief.
The hot, length stands stiff in both of her hands. Dribbles of precum run down his length. She’s quick to swipe it up as she twists both hands over him, pulling at the veiny skin.
“Mmh … fuck, baby. J-just like that.”
Ajani doesn’t let that distract him, however. Hand between her legs, he rubs his middle finger over her protruding clit.
She almost cries out as he neglects to touch her, keeping her underwear between them.
His pointer finger drops down to join the middle. And he pinches her bud. She yelps out.
“Hold it,” he says, pinching harder. “Hold it.”
Her head falls back as she cries out. The dam is about the break, she can feel it.
Her body goes numb for half a second, and then she feel the wet spot spread just a tiny bit bigger.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming—“
He cups her once more, feeling her clench down on nothing in his hand. The pink G-string clings to her lips, conforming to their shape.
Her hands freeze around his dick, unable to focus on him as she tries to keep herself from finishing completely over his seats.
“We almost there … almost there,” he soothes, turning into his building’s parking lot.
After regaining her composure, Dia tucks him back in his pants and zips him back up.
Ajani removes his hand as he parks in his designated spot, giving her the chance to fix herself.
When they get out the car, it’s a bit of relief. However, Ajani still has to make it to his apartment without being caught with this boner.
Watching Dia walk ahead of him to get into the main building, he gets an idea.
It’s hard to concentrate as they stand there waiting for the elevator. There’s no one in the lobby, but that doesn’t make her any less nervous.
Standing, her backside pressed to his front, she feels his dick poking at her.
Ajani’s so hard, it almost aches. He kisses his teeth, and his hand on her hip squeezes harder.
“Where this fuckin’ elevator at? Not tryna be waiting here all night.”
As he talks, his hips move just a bit, pushing his dick harder into the fat of her ass. It’s not helping, honestly.
But, much to her relief, the elevator finally arrives with a sharp ding. They walk in and Ajani is quick to press the button to the eleventh floor.
It seems like time slows as the shaft achingly climbs the floors. Dia doesn’t get to watch the numbers change as a hand comes around her neck and squeezes—her eyes flutter shut.
“Can’t wait to ruin yo shit,” he whispers in her ear. “Have you bouncing on my dick.”
She moans softly as his hand tightens.
He sucks his teeth. “Matter fact—“
It must be the liquor that has him doing this, and what’s got her letting it happen.
In one second, she’s bent over, her hands bracing the wall before her as he stands behind.
“Should just fuck ya lil’ ass in here.”
He smacks her left cheek before rutting into her. He spreads her ass with both hands, rubbing his clothed dick into her core.
“O-oh fuck,” she whimpers. The friction has her legs trembling.
“Keep fuckin’ moaning,” he pants, fucking against her. His eyes almost roll back and his balls tighten in his pants.
“Baby—“
Slapping a hand over her mouth, she tries to keep quiet … and from cumming.
Backing up just an inch, he instead holds her by her waist and bounces her hard against him. She almost wails, her pussy craving to be filled.
But her torture ends soon as the elevator dings again, announcing their arrival to the eleventh floor. They waste no time getting out and making their way to his front door.
When they come to it, he hands her his keys as he remains behind her. She almost fumbles them, her hands shaking.
He grabs onto her hips again, gripping tightly.
“Hurry up … you’on feel that?”
The gravel of his voice makes her shiver, and the way his dick is pressed into her ass almost makes her eyes roll back.
His face drops into the crook of her neck and shoulder to press a kiss into her warm skin.
“He missed you, baby.”
The slight slur in his voice drives her crazy. But, not more than the way he presses his hips harder against her.
Click, the door goes as she finally unlocks it. The rush of air that hits them as she pushes it open is refreshing. It clears her senses for just half-a-second before her brain is plunged back into a hot pool of lust.
Ajani’s got his hands on her, spinning her around to press a wet kiss onto her lips. A heavy moan slips out of her as he squeezes her throat.
He sucks on her tongue like it’s his only lifeline, enjoying the taste of her spit too much.
His free hand encircles her waist and heads down to grip as much fat as it could.
The burn of his grip has her clenching in her panties. He pulls out of the kiss just to look her in the eyes.
“Take this stupid ass dress off before I rip it.”
His grip on her throat tightens and she feels herself go dumb a little bit. She nods.
He lets go of her completely, just to watch her pull the black dress over her head.
All she’s got on is that tiny ass, pink G-string, no bra. The fabric is drenched with a wet stain as it clings to her. And her lips are damn near spilling out of it.
“Not even gonna be able to walk when I done with you,” he mumbles, staring at her as he squeezes his dick through his pants.
“Wait, I wanna do something else first.”
Diamanté’s gaze drops to the hard outline of his dick—so thick and long.
“Yeah?” He looks at her with low eyes, paying keen attention to the outline of her fat pussy. “What you tryna do?”
She starts towards him, walking slow.
“I wanna suck it.”
His brows lift as an inkling of a smile is on his lips. “Oh, word?”
“Yeah.”
She stops right before him. A gentle push to his chest sends a big enough of message—he falls back onto his couch. And his eyes follow her as she gets down on her knees before him.
She crawls to him, sitting between his legs. Even pushes them apart wider. He almost shivers at her delicate touch on his knees.
“Would you let me?”
She blinks up at him as her hands snake their way up his thighs and into his lap. He slips further down into the couch, biting his lip as he watches her undo his pants for the second time tonight.
She gets a peek of those grills again, and she just finds them so sexy.
“Awe shit, baby, you could do whatever you want…”
His aid comes as he lifts his hips as she drags the heavy denim down his legs. Drunken giggles pour out from her lips as she eyes his print through his boxers.
Even through the thin fabric, the familiar heat of her palm makes his dick twitch. He has to stop himself from humping into her hand as she grips along his length.
Her laughter melts away as she watches his face with a luring smile.
“You’re so wet, baby.”
He almost doesn’t even hear her soft voice. But when he does, he looks down and notices the dark spot on his boxers.
“Shit … that’s all you,” he mumbles. His eyes bore into her as she pulls him out of his underwear.
He’s stiff and heavy in her hand. Her smaller fingers squeeze him just a bit tighter, a weak attempt at trying to get a better grip on him.
It amuses him, seeing how the tips of her fingers don’t even meet when they’re around him.
The warmth blossoming under his skin goads her to run a fist over his length.
“You know how to do it?” he asks her.
She nods before looking back up at him. Looking into his eyes, she can tell that he’s fighting to stay present.
But with the liquor in both their systems, and lust running through their bodies, she can understand how difficult that must be for him.
“You don’t gotta … take it all,” he swallows.
His thigh twitches; Her tongue laves against the underside of the warm, soft tip. She holds him as she circles her tongue around the head, shining it with her spit.
“Fuck,” he hisses softly, body melting into the couch cushions.
She brushes her tongue against him, picking up a perfect bead of precum just as it dribbles out.
He inhales, shifting in the seat. “Spit on my shit.”
Puckering her lips, she spits it back out on his tip and spreads it across his skin.
“Yeah,” he breathes out.
Holding him at the base, she takes his head back into her mouth. His stomach swoops and his breath stutters.
Diamanté almost giggles, feeling his tip pulse in her mouth. She pulls off of him with a pop.
She repeats the action a couple of more times, going pop … pop … pop! She enjoys too much how he groans above her.
“Stop playing, baby, c’mon.”
The sound of him begging makes her clit pulse.
“Okay, okay,” she says softly, batting her lashes up at him.
Taking a deep inhale, she places her mouth back over the head. Slackening her jaw, she slowly descends his length.
“Awe … shiii,” he stares down at her in shock.
Already, her jaw aches, having to accommodate his size. She gets about halfway.
“Mmmh.”
The vibration of her hums make his toes curl. He jumps with a hiss. The movement gags her, and the sound only arouses him.
“T-take your time, baby—“ he grunts. “You don’t gotta—“
He chokes on his own words as he watches her continue to swallow him with a bit of effort. The sight has him clutching the couch cushions.
Her throat constricts around his dick as she bottoms out. She nuzzles her nose against the small bush of dark curls at his base.
“Fuck,” he mumbles, shifting his hips a bit.
Her eyes flutter close as she relishes the heavy weight her throat holds. His dick twitches, pulling a soft gag out of her.
He loves the sound.
Spit seeps from her mouth, dripping down his length. Trying to swallow around him is difficult.
Carefully, she lays her head against his open lap. She exhales through her nose, trying to relax as she suckles on him.
It’s almost addicting, having his dick stuff her mouth to the brim. She’s content … until she remembers her own arousal.
Her knees burn, but nevermind that. She brings a hand between her thick thighs, whimpering as she caresses herself.
The pads of her fingers slide back and forth over the soaked scrap of fabric covering her pussy.
Her thighs clench around her wrist. But still, she continues, sliding the tips of her acrylic nails against her aching pearl.
He watches her eyes open for just a second, only to showcase how they roll back. Her shoulders twitch.
“You touchin’ yourself?”
She barely nods as another twitch rakes throughout her body.
The already wet patch of her panties grows warmer as she leaks more arousal. Her fingers rub harder and her pussy spasms.
“Mmh—“
She whines around his dick, and his hips stutter.
“So fuckin’ nasty,” he groans. “Like my dick in your mouth.”
Another whimper.
Peeling a hand from the armrest of the couch, Ajani reaches for her straightened hair and gathers it in a tight ponytail.
“Relax your throat,” is his only warning.
Long, slow strokes have her gagging on him. The back or her throat makes wet clicks as his dick fucks the back of her throat.
Tears bubble in Diamanté’s eyes as her head bobs. Shaky fingers push her soaked panties to the side as she rubs through her sticky, creamy folds.
“Look so fuckin’ good like this,” he says through gritted teeth.
She plays in her mess, webs of cream sticking to the pads of her fingers and her pink clit.
His hold around her hair tightens and his pace quickens. Her gags become harsher and louder as he face-fucks her.
A squeal sounds at the back of her throat as she DJs herself quickly. Her chest stutters as it gets harder to breathe with her choking on him.
Her body tightens then releases; She sprays against her fingers and the hardwood floor. The hard stream catches his ears, making him sit up to watch.
The whites of her eyes are the only things that show as she cups herself between her legs.
A gooey mess of her spit and his precum drip down his balls and even her face, droplets falling on her bare chest.
“Shit, baby … awe shit,” he groans, head thrown back and mouth dropped open.
His stomach clenches as his brows pull together.
“I’m bout’a … c-cum—fuck.”
He pushes her head all the way down, holding her there as he fucks up into her. She tightens her throat around him, sending him over the edge.
Ropes of cum shoot down her throat, sending her pulling off of him in a coughing fit.
When she calms, she pulls her hand from between her shaking thighs. It’s messy with the remnants of her cream and squirt.
She wraps it around him and spits his cum back on his dick.
It’s a bubbly, frothy mess. She jerks him off, milking him for the rest of his release as she mixes their cum and her spit together.
“So fuckin’ dirty,” he rasps, his body sagging against the chair.
The squelches of her fist over his dick is music to their ears. Her hand glides with ease as she squeezes him tighter.
“Beatin’ my shit so good.”
Breathy laughter pours out of her as she sticks out her tongue and flattens it. Staring into his low eyes, she taps his dick against the bed of her tongue.
She slides the pink muscle against him before flicking it twice against his leaky slit. He shivers beneath her, and she feeds off the reaction.
Taking his head back into her mouth, she sucks on it with her lips as she digs out his slit with her tongue.
He’s a whining mess as she overstimulates him.
“Fuck baby … fuuuck baby—fuck babyy—“
Ajani’s head falls back against the cushions and his eyes roll back. He opens his mouth to cry out:
“F-fuuuuuck—“
Lifting from him quickly, she taps him against her tongue as he erupts. His cum paints the pink muscle in white ropes.
“So good,” she hums, still tugging at him.
His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath and calm his beating heart. His ears ring and his vision’s got dots.
It takes him too long to return back to earth, as if she had hard reset him.
But, that’s not where their night ends—far from it, actually.
#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#black tumblr#soft life#black reader#black y/n#black stories#black femininity#black romance#black love#black women#original work#original character#original story#black fem reader#black femme#smut#black writblr#writblr#black writers#poc writer#summer aesthetic#black girl aesthetic#black girls of tumblr#black girl#visuals#tropicore#black authors#black beauty#influencer
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DP x DC prompt - Villainess AU
Hey! So I found this promt and just had to write something with it!
https://www.tumblr.com/kuroishuuha/714717053010984960/dp-x-dc-prompt-villainess-au?source=share
Prompt
-Danny is transported into a novel/game where he is the villainess fiancé of the male lead.
Knowing that only death awaits him at the end, Danny tries to end the engagement (who knows if death will stick this time - Danny is not gonna risk finding out)
Meanwhile, Jason finds himself as the male lead of a novel/game he never read/played
The system in his head is telling him that the only way to get back home is to have a happy ending with his fiancé
So we have Danny who is desperately trying to end his engagement and a Jason who is trying to woo his fiancé (and cursing the original male lead - because the guy must have done something horrible for his cute and nice fiancé to be desperate to break up with him)-
Story
Danny was so over this. He thought this would have been easy, maybe not on his parents part god knows they don't give up without a fight, but his fiance has shown nothing but disdain for him his whole life (even if he wasn't here for 90% of that life) He thought he'd only have to tell his fiance that he didn't want to marry him, his fiance would be ecstatic and run into the sun with Ophelia and he'd get the weight off his shoulders and wouldn't have to worry about dying anymore and yet...
"No."
Danny just looked at him with horror "What do you mean no?" He practically yelled.
"No, I won't break off the engagement."
"Why not!? You hate me! You've hated me since the moment we met! I know you want to be with ophelia!"
Daminan looked like he was trying to read his face which makes no sense, if anyone should be trying to read the other's face it should be him!
Danny grabbed Damian's shoulders and shook them, he knew he wasn't acting like a proper gentleman, but his life was on the line! "Have you lost your goddamn mind? What in the world is wrong with you?" He paused, took a breath and let go of his shoulders. He was sure this had something or the other to do with politics, he just couldn't wrap his mind around it at all. He took another step back, he had to appease Damian somehow. "Look, neither of us wanted to get married and neither of us really knew what we were getting into when our parents signed the agreement and had us agree to this, my parents won't back down but from what I know of your parents they'll let you back out of this no problem. My parents will be pissed but that's neither here nor there. There is really no reasonable excuse for why we shouldn’t break off our engagement." Danny said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. There was no way Damian could deny all of that.
-
How could Jason deny all of that?! He was acting completely out of character, which was funny because he hardly knew what his character was like at all besides from second hand accounts. When he was told he just had to get a happy ending with his fiance he had thought this would be a piece of cake, he had brushed everything else off and took this as a really weird miny vacation, how hard could it really be to marry your fiance? Everything was already set up, it couldn't fail.
Except for the fact that apparently he was a dick and hated his fiance and she was done with all that, which he would have cheered on the fiance any day, get rid of that dick 100%. But now he was here in that dick's place and having to deal with his stupid problems and his fiance wanted to divorce him! How was he ever going to get a happy ending out of this? He did eventually want to get home no matter how annoying Bruce could be at times.
His fiance huffed drawing his eyes to him, he really was very pretty, he had no idea why Damian seemingly hated him. Sure he was being annoying as hell right now but really that was all Damian's fault.
"look i don't know why you seem to be fighting for this, it seriously seems like you just forgot everything!"
Jason froze, should he go with that? It really would be rather convincing seeing as he really didn't know Damian at all.
Danial paused, his eyes widening as he fixed on Jason's hesitance, seemingly picking apart all that he was and assessing him not adequate.
"You really don't act like Damian at all..."
He froze again, was that a good thing? Was this gonna be what gave him away?
"Did you hit your head or something? Temporary amnesia?"
"Y-yes!" Was he messing this up, would Danial believe that?
"Then why are you fighting so hard to keep the engagement? You don't know me at all."
Shit. shit what did he say? How did he convince Danial to keep the engagement if his other self hated him and this self didn't know him?
"I-I heard how wonderful you were from my parents and- and fell in love!"
Danial backed up with a distured look on his face, fuck he shouldn't have said that. "Love? After just hearing about me? That’s… kind of creepy."
“I just want to get to know you!”
Danial looked at him, his shoulders slumped and he looked resigned as he said "fine we'll keep up the engagement for now.” yes! “But when you get your memories back, we're breaking it off.”
Not great, but at least he knew that wasn’t going to happen.
He turned around to leave, oh wait. "I haven't told anyone else I've lost my memories so could you keep that one to yourself?" He asked, turning back around.
Danial looked at him suspiciously. "Why haven't you told anyone else? Not even your family?"
Fuck again! Why couldn't he just get this right? "Of course my family knows!" He really hoped Danial never met them because they absolutely did not. "but no one at this school does, i don't want them to treat me like i'm made of glass like my parents." Not completely off base, they've been tiptoeing around him all summer, probably because he was acting so weird.
"that makes sense." Danial sighed, he looked suddenly like the whole weight of the world was upon his shoulders.
Jason screwed up his face, he had definitely been the one to place it there. He wanted to go over to him and tell him that they could break off the engagement after all but he really couldn't do that. "I'm sorry." He settled for instead.
Danial looked surprised. "You’re apologizing?"
"Yeah, I've made this so much harder for you than it really had to be. And you don't really know me anymore and I really don't know you."
Danial looked at him with something akin to empathy. "It's hard being thrust into a world that's unfamiliar to you isn't it? No one you trust or know around you and having to be something your not."
Jason looked at him in genuine shock. "H-how?"
Danial looked panicked for a second before he gave a light laugh. "I may not have amnesia but I do have expectations from everyone around me." He rubbed his arm. "Everyone says you're way out of my league and that I'm lucky to have you." This time his laugh was bitter.
"If anything you said about the old me was true it was really the opposite."
Danial gave a snort that Jason couldn't help feeling was the prettiest thing he's ever heard. "oh believe me i down played it."
Jason looked at him aghast. "Downplayed it!? Just how bad was I??"
Daniel gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and a smirk, "Now that, my friend is a talk for another time. Danial moved past him brushing his shoulder, what felt like a shock passed through him and he went stiff. When he finally came to his senses he was all by himself, What had just happened?
#danny phantom#danny#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp#dead on main#dp x dc crossover#dc comics#jason todd#dc#jason x danny#dead on main ship#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp
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Austin butler x reader
Reader and Austin are married and Austin does his first interview as a married man and tell them about how he met the reader and there love story plus maybe to add to the cuteness he announces that he is also gonna be a father
A Lot of Changes
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You were sitting front row in the audience, waiting for Austin, your husband, you walk onstage. He was currently in the middle of the press tour for Masters of the Air but this was his first interview since your wedding and you knew that he was going to be asked about it. You looked down at your hand, smiling when you saw the dainty gold band that was now sitting on your ring finger before being jolted out of your thoughts when you heard the rest of the audience applause as Austin walked on stage.
He’d spoken about Masters of the Air for about fifteen minutes before the interviewer changed the topic. ‘So, we’ve seen on your lovely girlfriend, no, your lovely wifes Instagram a couple of wedding photos,’ he said, causing Austin to smile softly, looking down at his ring before lifting his head, his eyes finding yours instantly and his smile growing. ‘How was it?’
‘One of the happiest days of my life,’ he replied, smiling. ‘I’d been ready to propose pretty much a week after we started dating so it’s been a long time coming but it was so worth it. We got married in this big stately home and she looked so beautiful,’ he said, his voice trailing off as he found you once again in the audience.
‘You were ready to propose after a week? And how long had you been dating before the wedding?’
‘So, we met when filming began again for Elvis after lockdown and she was wandering around the set, offering to get coffees for everyone. I’d noticed that she started doing that pretty much every day so one morning when I heard that she was making her rounds, I decided to go and get her a coffee and surprise her. The only downside is I now have to get her coffee every morning,’ he joked, making everyone else in the studio laugh.
‘And how did you propose?’
‘Well, I wanted to make this big deal of it, I had a plan where I’d booked a couple of days off work and I was going to take her out on a date, you know, really try to woo her. And then because we were in Australia, we were going to spend a couple of days in Sydney and on the last evening I was going to take her to a show at the Opera House, she’s always wanted to go and I was going to propose after the show, by the water. It didn’t really turn out like that, I jumped the gun a bit and our trip to Sydney ended up being a bit of an engagement-moon kind of thing,’ Austin explained, laughing softly. You smiled to yourself as you remembered the night, about a year and a half ago now.
You were waiting in Austin’s trailer for him to finish filming, curled up on the sofa with a film playing softly on the TV. You’d spent the day packing a couple of bags for you and Austin after he’d surprised you this morning by telling you that he was taking you to Sydney for a long weekend. The sound of the door opening made your head turn in the direction of the sound and you smiled tiredly as you watched Austin walk in.
‘How was filming?’ you asked softly when he came and sat down on the sofa next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and sighing heavily.
‘Long,’ he replied, the end of the word being cut off slightly by a yawn and you moved your arms to wrap around him, tangling your fingers in his hair and scratching lightly. ‘That feels amazing,’ he murmured, his eyes closing as he let his weight lean onto yours more.
‘Well, you don’t have to go back onto that set for the next few days. We’re going on holiday and I don’t want you even thinking about work for the whole time we’re away, you hear me?’ you asked, tilting his head to face you. As soon as his eyes were on yours, his body relaxed and he leaned in to give you a quick kiss before groaning against your lips.
‘I still need to pack, I was going to on my break earlier but I completely forgot. I won’t be long and then we can go.’
‘I’ve packed your bags for you, they’re on the bed with mine so we’re good to go whenever you’re ready. I didn’t know what kind of things you wanted to take so I’ve packed some hoodies as well that you might - ’
‘Marry me.’
His words cut you off straight away and you pulled back slightly, keeping your arms around his neck, to look at him. ‘What did you just say?’ you asked as Austin moved to sit more upright on the sofa, hooking your legs over his arms and pulling them across his lap, trying to pull you closer to him. He leaned in closer, a small smile playing on his lips as he looked at you.
‘Marry me,’ he repeated softly, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. ‘I had this big plan where I was going to take you to the Opera House and propose while we were away but I couldn’t wait.’
‘But I’m in ratty sweatpants, one of your hoodies, this isn’t the time to propose to someone! I mean, I look - ’
‘Perfect. You look perfect ,’ he said, grinning at you now as he tugged you even closer, until your nose was brushing against his. ‘So, what do you say? Will you marry me?’
‘Will we still get to go to the Opera House?’
‘Yes,’ he replied, laughing.
‘Then yes!’ you exclaimed, pulling him in for a kiss.
When Austin had finished recounting the story of his proposal, the studio erupted in applause and you couldn’t stop the blush from rising in your cheeks. ‘And how has married life been treating you?’ the host asked, grinning at Austin.
‘Incredible, we had our honeymoon in Spain and since being back, everything’s just felt so right and amazing and there’s a lot of changes going on at the minute so it’s terrifying but so exciting at the same time.’
‘What kind of changes are you making?’
‘Well, uh,’ Austin chuckled nervously, his hand running along his thigh as he adjusted his seat and looked over at you, looking for permission. Smiling back at him, you nodded gently. Austin grinned back at you before turning back to the host. ‘We’ve been changing one of the guest rooms in the house into a nursery. About three months ago, we found out that we’re going to be parents.’
The applause that followed was deafening and you and Austin couldn’t help but laugh at the reaction, neither of you knowing what you were expecting. Once the applause had died down, the host wrapped up his interview with Austin. Austin thanked him and stood. Instead of heading off of the set, he made his way over to you, sitting on the floor in front of you and grabbing your wrists, draping your arms around his neck.
‘You were amazing up there,’ you murmured into his ear, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to the top of his head as his fingers absentmindedly began to play with yours.
‘Thank you, baby,’ he replied, craning his neck around to look at you, nothing but love in his eyes. ‘How are you guys doing?’
‘We’re just fine,’ you said, smiling warmly at him, ‘the amount of interviews you’ve got lined up over the next couple of months, they’re going to know just how big their daddy is before they’re even born.’
Austin tilted his head backwards until your face was upside down in his eyes. ‘I love you. Both of you.’
You leaned down to quickly peck his lips before moving your hands to cup either side of his face, running your thumbs along his cheeks. ‘We love you too. Now, be quiet, we’re trying to listen to the rest of the show.’
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Him and I- Loose Ends
Pairing: Nico Hischier x Reader, Mob Boss! Nico
Warnings: smut, violence, weapons, mentions of blood, alcohol use
Previous chapter
A/n: Just as a PSA for my own piece of mind, the characters that are Nico’s family in this story do not at all reflect them in real life. They only share names and looks, and I am in no way making claims or assumptions about who they are in real life. Whoo, now that that’s out there, I hope yall enjoy and please let me know your thoughts!
Thanks!
____________________________________________
Nico’s always been a simple man.
It doesn’t take much to keep him happy. All he ever wanted was his own life, his own business. And while the execution of that wasn’t necessarily simple, once he did it, it was all a piece of cake.
His favorite days were the ones where he got up, met up with Timo for a morning run and breakfast or coffee, and then went into work. Didn’t matter the job or place he was at for the day, all that mattered is that he was getting to work with his best friends in a new city he loved.
He thinks he’s gotten even simpler since meeting you. He’s got a lot of favorite things now, all of which revolve around you. The smell of your hair after an everything shower, the way your hand feels in his. The color of your lips and how it feels when they kiss him, how his whole body turns to goo. How your eyes sparkling when they look at him.
Even just the sound of you breathing next to him is enough.
“Nico,” He especially loves the way his name sounds coming from your lips.
So yeah, Nico is a simple man.
“Shh baby,” he breathes into your temple, “I’ve got you.” He’s simple in the way that all he needs, all he’s ever going to need is you. And he thinks this trip to his home has more than proven that.
Your fingers stroke through his hair, soft and gentle compared to the way your thighs are squeezing around his hips, knees biting into the bone. Flexing, you try to pull him in, to no avail. Nico laughs under his breath, calmly rocking back into your dripping pussy.
“Nico,” you whine again, a pathetic sound hiccuping directly into his ear. “Schoa, please.”
Pressing a kiss to the hinge of your jaw and then your lips, Nico rolls his hips back into you, dick twitching when your eyes roll back.
“Let me take my time,” he tells you, and you blink up at him with glossy eyes. You’re not gonna argue with him, not gonna demand he fuck you into the mattress. He knows (and loves) that you get whiny and blubbery during sex, no matter how he does it. So he doesn’t have to say it scoldingly, no he just has to talk sweet to you.
You love when he’s soft and sweet, preening and puckering your lips at him. Nico kisses you, lazy and lackadaisically, focusing more on the feeling of your lips rather than the feeling of your pussy clenching around him.
God he could die kissing you. Every bone in his body broken, every inch of skin battered and bruised, every sense destroyed. The most horrible death imaginable, and as long as you were there, kissing him, he wouldn’t care. He’d simply move on, wait for you impatiently in the next life just to do it all over again.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispers into the skin of your cheek, “so perfect, ya know that?”
Your fingers tug on his hair, the other tickling down the side of his ribs and he shivers, drops more of his weight into you.
“Shut up and let me come,” you reply, a teasing lilt in your tone. When he pulls back, you’re smiling, face sweaty and pink. “Please Schoa?”
Yeah, you’re perfect.
“Thought you were supposed to be sweet,” he taunts, kissing the corner of your mouth. Settling into the cradle of your thighs, he switches the pace to something slow and sensual, more grinding than anything else.
A broken moan touches his lips, the new pace adding more pressure to your clit than before.
“We both know you’re the sweet one,” you mumble, the words more spoken into the scruff of his cheek than the air around you two. He presses forward, knees digging into the mattress and you stutter out his name when his cock brushes that spongey spot.
“Just for you baby,” he swears, then he’s kissing you again, wiggling a large hand between the two of you. His thumb finds your clit, rubbing tender circles while he grinds into you, deep and slow.
Hips tilting up and thighs tightening around him, Nico swallows every broken whimper that leaves your lips.
“Fuck, you sound so pretty.” He pants into the kiss, eyes squeezing shut when his orgasm burns at the base of his spine and the pit of his stomach. “That’s my girl, give it to me baby.”
You tug at his hair, nails biting into his skin as he tips you over the edge. Warm and slick walls pulsing around his cock, Nico bites at the side of your neck as you milk his own orgasm out of him. He grinds through it, thighs sore and tired, hips aching from the way you were fighting him to go faster and harder earlier but he doesn’t care.
Everything feels so good now, so hot and sweet. He can’t tell where his limbs end and yours begin, or which heavy breaths are his or yours, or even which pounding heartbeat is his.
Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect.
Nico presses a sweet kiss of apology to the red bite mark he’s left on your throat, tilting his chin up to catch your lips. You kiss him back, humming contently.
“Marry me Nico,”
Blinking his eyes open, Nico looks down at you in confusion. He heard the words, feels them in his chest, but his brain is fighting to comprehend them. Especially here, like this.
“W-what?”
“I said no last time and then it got fucked up,” you explain, dropping your hand to feel his chest, pressing into the skin like you’re trying to touch his heart. “I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for you, I don’t want to wait anymore.”
It takes his breath away- you take his breath away. He could say yes, lean down to kiss you and tell you he already has colors and flowers picked out. He could get out both of his rings and take you to the courthouse right now. It’d be a dream come true.
But it wouldn’t be what you deserve.
“Well you’re gonna have to,” he answers quietly, a loving smile on his face. He doesn’t have to worry about you taking it the wrong way because you know him. You’re the other side of the same coin, always right there with him. “Because I’m doing this right.”
You pout, blink up at him sadly but you’re still smiling. Glowing, radiating, whatever you want to call it. “Fair enough, I suppose.”
“You suppose?” He chuckles, kissing at the corner of your mouth. “How do you know about the other one anyway?”
“Timo told me,” you mumble, then pause like you’re thinking. “He also told me to say no to any proposal in which someone is naked and/or you’re inside of me.”
Nico laughs. “Two-for-two this time huh?”
“Yeah,” you giggle, eyes going tender and warm as they examine every inch of his face. “I really am sorry about that day Nico.”
The air shifts, any playfulness or teasing that existed before being sucked up and out of the room. Nico swallows heavily, heart thumping in his throat. It hurts him to think that his carefully timed and planned proposal got hijacked, but he doesn’t blame you. He could never blame you.
It just wasn’t meant to be that day.
“It’s not your fault,” he promises. “And m’not too torn up about it, I swear. You and Timo are crazy if you think I don’t have a million different ways I want to ask you to marry me.”
Your eyes, still heavy with sleep, twinkle with intrigue. “Really? Like what?”
“Well a few of them resembled our current situation but if Timo is vetoing them…”
“Aw screw him,” you grumble jokingly. “I think we should explore said situations a little bit more.”
And they say Nico’s the dirty one. “Yeah?”
“Mhm, we do have all morning after all.”
Nico could’ve sworn he had plans for this morning but he can’t for the life of him remember what it was. Oh well, he’s got better places he could be.
~~~~
Luca, unlike Nico, has a lot of friends. And not just friends within the business, but like actual friends. People from school, people from hockey, people from just living his whole life in the same town.
It’s funny to see. Luca has his men working, stationed around the bar as security and extra security. Usually nights out and celebrations back in Jersey are with the boys. They’re yours and Nico’s friends, and unless they request time on the clock, Nico doesn’t make them work.
“Whoa,” Luke breathes, taking in the crowded bar. Casual, is what Nico told all of you. It’s a causal get together with friends. Luca being casual with this many people is mind blowing.
“How’d you end up being the anti-social Hischier?”
Nico glares at Jack, the look being answer enough for why Nico has a small circle. Ushering the group of them into the corner booth, away from the music and bar, you make all the boys sit down. Well, all except for Nico who stands by your side, arms crossed over his chest.
“Alright, I’m saying this once and only once,” you begin, making sure they’re all looking and listening. “Do not leave the bar tonight without telling someone. Unless Luca tells you that you can have a drink on him, you order on our tab. No going home with Luca’s friends,”
You pointedly look at Jack, who frowns in offense.
“We have a flight in two days. Which means first thing tomorrow we’re up and packing and cleaning up the house. No whining.”
Four heads bobble in agreement, intent eyes locked on yours.
“I don’t care how much you drink, I don’t care who you hang out with here in the bar. But best behavior and no fighting-“
“Especially you two.” Nico interjects, pointing a finger at Jack and Luke. “We clear?”
“Yes boss,” they say in unison. Easing up, you smile and nod towards the bar top and pool tables.
“Alright, go have fun.”
Like horses out of the gate the four younger boys trip over each other to scramble away from the table. Timo snickers as they go, tripping Mercer on his way but that does nothing to deter him.
“Hm she’s strict Neeky.”
Turning, Luca and Maja are behind you now, double fisting drinks. Maja has a couple of those sweet cocktails you’d had the last time you were here and your mouth waters when she holds the glass out to you.
“Good cop, bad cop,” Nico replies, taking the beer Luca is handing him. “She’s all talk, I’m execution.”
Catching the straw in your mouth, you take a sip. Nico holds his hand up and you high five him, not even having to look at each other. It makes Luca laugh, the way it seems rehearsed and you giggle too.
“Not enough hands for me, or what?” Timo complains, motioning to the drink Luca didn’t bring him. Luca laughs, lightly shoving at Timo and the two boys start bickering in Swiss German.
Lost on the conversation, you press into Nico’s side. “Neeky?” You grin, running your hand up and down his lower back. “Why didn’t I get to call you that?”
“They called me that when I was a baby.”
“And now, when you’re not a baby.”
He huffs, taking a swig of his beer. The question has been on your mind ever since you got here and heard him first answer to the name. You and Jack had been the ones to first call him Schoa, delirious and giggling in the bar after Timo called him Hischow. Those were his only nicknames, everything else was Nico or Hischier or boss.
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “S’just an embarrassing childhood nickname I guess.”
Rising to your toes, you tuck your nose into the curve of his jaw. “I think it’s cute,” you punctuate the promise with a kiss to his neck.
“Yeah?”
“I like the Swiss bits about you,” you say, sipping your drink. Timo, still chattering with Luca and now Maja, raches out blindly and you hand it to him. The free hand lets you plaster yourself to Nico’s torso, hugging his slim waist. “I wish you spoke it more, at home and stuff.”
His cheeks tinge pink, something like shyness settling into his gaze when he glances at Timo and his brother. “My accent gets thick,” he says quietly. “Jonas says half the time he doesn’t even know what I’m saying. And then it messes up my English too because I get all slurry.”
Frowning, you try to think a time he’s been weird with his English. Sometimes he speaks more formal than most Americans would, or he stumbles over a pronunciation but you’ve always known what he was talking about.
“That’s not true,” you insist. “Well I don’t know about Jonas’s claims but I always understand you. And I like your accent.”
Shaking his head, he smiles, a little bitter. “S’not exactly the kinda accent you want to hear in bed, is it? Not like yours.”
You can’t believe you didn’t know this about Nico. That him not making the language mandatory for the boys, him not speaking in his native tongue or sharing his childhood names, or even calling you sweet pet names in Swiss German is all because of this.
He’s embarrassed about his accent.
“Nico,” you murmur, dramatically pouting your lips when his gaze falls to your mouth. “I love your accent.”
He hums, low and quiet, like he’s embarrassed to be asking for the reassurance but wants it anyway. Luckily for him, you’re always down to praise the ground he walks on.
Lowering your voice, you tuck into his shoulder to hide your words from his family. “Especially when it’s telling me what a good girl I am.”
A shuddering breath leaves his lips, wetting them with his tongue. He wraps his arm around your middle, dark eyes meeting yours.
“Fuck, what am I gonna do with you?” He mutters more to himself than you, but you’re pressed up against him so tightly it’d be impossible for you not to hear.
You smile, “kuss?”
Nico chuckles, leaning in to kiss you. You cup the back of his neck, drawing him closer and tease the seal of his lips with your tongue-
“Hands off her Hischier!”
Disgruntled, Nico pulls back and looks over your head. His eyebrow pinch together, lips pursed and your heart stutters in your chest. You know that’s his mean look, the grump face Jack is always talking about but you think it’s so cute.
Turning, you rest back on Nico’s chest and he wraps his arm across your chest. Flattered, you hold onto his bicep, blinking innocently at Jack and Dawson.
“You two are not allowed to drink with her,” Nico dismisses before they can even ask. Timo rolls his lips, trying not to laugh as he hands your drink back. Luca, not bothering to uphold his brother’s authority, laughs anyway.
“Uh-oh,” he teases, “what trouble did the kids get you into?”
Blushing, you ignore Luca in favor of taking another sip. Luke’s face brightens, already fishing his phone out of his pocket.
“She drank the whole bar out from under Jack,” he snorts, scrolling through what you know is his Snapchat memories. The stupid app where the videos of you on the keg and Timo’s shoulders live. “It was the first time she hung out with us without Nico.”
He hands the phone over, Luca’s face cracks open into a delighted laugh that sounds a lot like Nico’s. Grumpy, you tilt your head back to look up at Nico.
“Can we go practice pool?”
Nico licks his lips again, smiling as he nods. “Lead the way baby.”
~~~~
Fiddling with the empty shot glass in front of you, you blindly nod along to whatever story Nina is sharing with the table. It’s not polite, you know that, to pretend to be listening when you’re not. Especially if you’re doing a shit job at it.
But it’s like Nico is telepathically beckoning your eyes to be on him all night.
He looks so good, squinting in concentration at the game of beer pong in front of him. Luca is muttering something in his ear, obviously strategizing on how to make sure the Hughes boys don’t catch up and win.
If Nico can feel you watching him, he doesn’t show it. He keeps his eyes on the makeshift table, what was obviously the other pool table but now has a plank of sanded and glossed wood on top. Luca pats him on the back, takes a step to the left and then Nico is holding up his ping pong ball, his large hand and fingers dwarfing it.
God, he’s so hot, you think and Nico bites his lip as he aims, turning to find the right angle and you almost die when he juts his ass out just the slightest bit. Maybe he does know you’re watching him.
“Hey,” an elbow bumps you, Nina’s you think. “stop drooling over Nico. Your bestie is trying to talk to you.”
You’re not even embarrassed about being caught staring (and drooling), but you are a little embarrassed that Timo is now standing at the end of the table. You hadn’t even noticed.
You do notice the red head by his side though, everything about her even more beautiful up close. She’s got Timo’s hand in hers, a blue drink in the other and you immediately smile in greeting.
“M’not even sorry,” you say to Timo, who looks unimpressed. “He’s so hot.”
“I’m not surprised,” he counters, “you do this every time you drink around him.”
Maja and Nina snicker, and you shrug. A proud smile pulls at your lips and you lift your drink in cheers to him. “Guilty.”
Timo laughs, shaking his head and then he’s letting go of the girls hand to hold her waist. “Anyway, this is Amelia-“ even her name is beautiful. “-is it ok if she hangs out with you guys?”
Nina is immediately scooting down the table to make room. “Yes of course!” She exclaims, “it’s so nice to see you again.” Timo whispers something in Amelia’s ear before she sits down, smiling shyly.
“M’up next for pong,” Timo explains, making a face at you. “Pray Luca gets worse as he drinks because Nico does not.”
You sip your drink, glancing over at Nico. He’s laughing at whatever Jack just told him, solo cup in hand. You meet Timo’s gaze again, his eyes wide in expectation.
“Oh,” you say, already knowing what he’s not asking. “Yeah, just give me like a nod or something and I’ll take care of him.”
Timo reaches across the table and you high five him, laughing. “That’s what I’m talking about.” He cheers, then he’s pressing a kiss to Amelia’s head.
“See ya later!” He darts away from the table, heading down for his turn of pong.
“What was that about?” Amelia asks, the first words she’s spoken to you tonight. Nina is looking to you for an answer too but by the way Maja is smiling in amusement, you have a feeling she knows.
“I help Timo win at pong when he plays against Nico,” you explain, tentatively. “Not like cheating but Nico gets really good aim the drunker he gets so I just-distract him.”
“That’s one word for it.”
The table goes silent at Maja’s words, wheels turning until Nina’s eyes light up in understanding. Almost immediately she’s frowning in disgust.
“Oh ewwwww,” she mutters, taking a large swig of her drink. Amelia laughs, looking over her shoulder towards Timo and then at you, shrugging.
“If it works,” she says quietly, making you and Maja giggle. “That’s real friendship.”
Jack and Luke come grumbling by, pouting and petulant. It’s obvious they’ve lost their game to Nico and Luca, and when you look over their shoulders Timo and Mercer are starting their own matchup against the brothers.
“Hey,” Jack stops as he walks by, eyebrows pinched in annoyance. “He’s getting too cocky over there, boss.”
He jabs a thumb over his shoulder to Nico.
“Yeah,” Luke adds, “go make him lose, please?”
You look around, confused by the lack of the fourth boy they had at once been with. “Where’s Alex?”
Jack huffs in annoyance, a hand on his hip. “We sent him for the next round, on Nico of course, now are you gonna fuck with him or no?”
“Oh my god, yes. Now go.”
They turn to leave, Luke stopping last minute and raising an eyebrow at you. “Are you gonna tell him we asked you?”
“Oh yeah,” you snort, “but I won’t let him get mad so it’s ok.”
Luke brightens at that, shoving Jack forward and towards the bar. Focusing back on the girls, you tune into Maja asking Amelia about herself. It’s bad, but you find yourself zoning out in favor of watching Nico again.
It’s a view you can never get tired of.
You stay like, half tuned into the conversations between the girls and watching the game of beer pong. So far it’s pretty neck and neck, Dawson having aim almost as straight as Nico’s. Probably because of his height, you theorize. Him and Nico are both tall.
Though you suppose Timo is too.
He doesn’t feel as tall as Nico though. Something about his presence, his personality is just bigger than life. It probably aids his role as boss, the fact that he looks and feels so intimidating.
Timo catches your eye, tilting his head ever so slightly and you realize Nico and Luca have gone on a heater, clearing away all but three cups on the table.
“That’s my cue,” you say to the table, downing the last watered-down bit of your drink. Nina’s nose scrunches in disgust and she shoos you away.
Nico sees you coming right away, stretching out his arm for you to fit yourself under. Fiddling with his pendant, you press your chest into him, looking up at through your lashes.
“Enjoying the view?” He teases, confirming that he did in fact know you were watching him the whole time.
“Yeah,” you rise to your toes, lips close to his ear. “They sent me over here to sabotage your game.” Nico hums in acknowledgment, excited butterflies swarming your stomach. You love when the boys try to make you pick them over Nico, when you can mess with them under the pretense of teasing Nico.
They should know by now that you’re always on his side.
“I think it’d be more fun if you won though,” your voice is low, sultry and you can hear how hard Nico swallows.
“What do I get if I win?”
Pressing in closer to him, you smack a sloppy kiss to the soft patch of skin below his ear. “You get me any way you want Boss.”
Nico sinks the next three shots, and Timo doesn’t even get a chance to whine before your boyfriend is dragging you off to the back rooms of the bar.
~~~~
Fingertips and toes fuzzy from alcohol, you blindly paw at Nico. He backs you up into the edge of the sink, the porcelain pressing into your hip just rough enough to leave a bruise in the morning.
Nico’s hand drops your thigh, hitching one leg up over his hip. Unashamedly, he grinds into the newly available space.
“Fuck me,” he groans, doing it again, the bulge in his jeans growing harder with each rut into your covered core. It’s stupid and childish, like horny teenagers sneaking off at prom to grind in the janitors closet.
But it’s making Nico weak in the knees, strained noises of pleasure and teasing whimpers, all muffled by your lips. Listening to him, you slump back until your head bumps against the cool glass of the mirror, and Nico attaches to your jaw and neck.
Nipping and biting, his messily shaven beard-mustache combo scratches at your skin, just on the pleasurable side of rough.
It’s like he’s feral, lost in his own head as he marks your skin with his teeth, desperately dry humping into your overly warm body.
“Nico,” you run a hand through his hair.
“Hmm?”
His teeth nip below your ear and you hiss, digging your nails into the fabric of his flannel.
“Let me-“ you pant, cut off when he abruptly kisses you again, licking into your mouth. Kissing him, you shove at his hip with your knee until there’s enough room to get your hand down there, reaching for the button of his jeans.
“Nico,” you manage to get out, laughing when he shudders as you wiggle his button open and paw at the zipper. “Back up for a second baby.”
Eagerly, he steps back and you drop down from the sink. Nico’s panting, cheeks flushed and pupils blown when you calmly crowd into him, pressing a sweet kiss to his jaw as you get his jeans loose. You wiggle them down his hips, your knees going with them-
“Wait,” Nico catches your elbow and you freeze, peering up at him. He hastily plucks at the buttons of his flannel, quick but uncoordinated until the fabric comes loose and he shrugs it off.
“Here baby,” he murmurs, laying it out in the floor by his feet. Butterflies fluttering in your chest, you kiss him in thanks.
Even when he’s about to get his dick sucked in the bar bathroom he’s a total sweetheart.
You drop to your knees, Nico’s flannel thick and soft where it’s bunched under your weight. Grabbing the sides of his jeans, you yank them the rest of the way down his thighs until they rest around his feet.
Biting at your bottom lip, you push the edge of his shirt up with one hand and latch onto his boxer briefs with the other. His breath hitches, stomach clenching under your fingers when his cock skips free.
Thick and red, the blunt head dripping, you take him in your hand. Above you, Nico takes a deep breath, gathering your hair gently in his large hands. You lean in, by passing his hard cock in favor of kissing at the scar on the v of his hip and down his thigh. The muscle twitches under your mouth and you smile.
If the setting were better, you’d take your time teasing him. Kiss all over his thighs and hip bones, nose and lick at the underside of his cock where that stupidly sensitive vein runs under the smooth skin.
But there will be more chances for that so you don’t dwell on it.
Wetting your lips, you take his cock into your mouth, sinking down until he rests heavily on your tongue. A wrecked moan punches out of his chest, fingers tightening in your hair and you’re ready when he subconsciously urges you to take him deeper. Nothing if not predictable, methodical.
Holding tight to his thigh, you take deep breaths through your nose and swallow him down. The head of cock prods at the back of your throat, makes your throat tighten around him instinctively and Nico shudders, goosebumps rising on his skin under your fingertips.
You back off, mouth parting to suck in air while he still teases at your lips. Panting, you look up at Nico to find him already watching you. His hair’s a mess, eyes glassy and pitch black and he’s breathing heavily.
Swiping your tongue through his slit, you take him back into your mouth, watch the way his eyes flutter and his jaw clenches. You blink at him, fingers gripping his rucked up shirt tighter and you relax your jaw and throat.
Go ahead, Nico.
Like always, he can read you perfectly. His lips curl ever so slightly, the scar on his cheek dimpling. He smoothes your hair back again, lips puckering as he takes another deep breath.
Slowly, he presses his hips forward and holds you still, guiding his cock back down your throat. You let your eyes close, focusing on breathing and the sounds of his breath, the taste of his skin and come, grounding yourself.
He takes it slow for a second, easing himself in and out of your throat. But the appropriate timing to leave a party is dwindling down and Nico is getting desperate. You can tell by his gasps and whimpers, by the way he’s holding your head.
His thumb brushes the corner of your eye, the words going unspoken. You tilt your head up just a bit and Nico takes that as his go-ahead.
Rough and sloppy, Nico fucks into your mouth relentlessly. He never takes it to far, somehow always knows how to use you in a way that feels so good. You tongue at the underside of his cock, drool dripping out of the creases of your mouth.
“So good for me,” Nico groans above you, cock hitting the back of your throat and he moans when you gag around him. “Taking me like a fucking pro, like it’s your job, huh?”
You dig your nails into his thigh, choking in breathes through your nose and Nico caresses your face. “Like you meant to do this, yeah? Meant for me?”
Blinking your eyes open, Nico comes into view, blurry and watery through your eyes. You hum in agreement, his cock twitching in your mouth. Unable to answer him in words, you instead slip your hand down between his legs. He widens his stance for you, a sigh of content leaving his nose when you cup his balls.
He lets up, pulls himself all the way out of your mouth and you gasp for air, lungs burning. Gently, he swipes at your messy mouth, cleaning it up for you and you bat your eyes at him.
“Thanks baby,” you whisper, voice rough and strained. Nico simply smiles, a hiss leaving his lips because you’ve begun fondling him, lips dropping open to welcome him back into your mouth.
Nico doesn’t have to be told twice. He picks up where he left off, fucking your throat while you tease at his balls. He turns into a blubbering mess above you, Swiss German leaving his lips in a drunken slur and you’re caught off guard when he stills, cock all the way down your throat.
You grab his thigh again, whining as he spills into your mouth with a low grunt. His hand has gone slack, enough for you to pull back until just the tip is resting between your lips. Tenderly, you suckle at him, swallowing the mess he’s left behind.
A sound bordering on pain rumbles from deep in his chest, breath heavy when he mumbles, “please baby.” Dropping him from your mouth, you sweetly kiss at the scar on his thigh before rising to your feet. Nico drops your hair, taking a hold of your elbows to haul you up.
He’s all dimples and red cheeks, calloused fingers swiping under your eyes to wipe away the tears. “My pretty girl,” he whispers, kissing between your eyebrows.
You snuggle into his hold, taking a few deep breathes until your racing heart has calmed down. It hits you that his flannel is still lying rumpled on the bathroom floor, pants around his ankles, softening cock out, and you have try really hard not to laugh.
“You are so spoiling me tonight,” the thought makes you giddy, mind already conjuring up all the ways your gonna pillow princess on him later.
“Yes I am.” He says cheekily, squeezing you. Then after a beat of silence. “Fuck I need to put my pants back on.”
~~~~
You could blame the alcohol for the way you press back into him, arching your spine just enough to have the curve of your ass fit into the front of him. Truth is though, you don’t need to blame anything, don’t need to justify yourself to Nico.
He’s just as bad as you, grabbing your hip in his free hand and pulling you back into him. Leaning over you under the pretense of helping you line up a shot. Teasingly, you pull the stick back far enough that it hits his hip, fighting back a laugh when he lets out a quiet “oof.”
“Hey,” Luca scolds, and you take your shot, banking the cue ball off a solid that goes rolling into the corner pocket. “Keep it PG over there, Jesus Christ.”
Nico snickers and you straighten out, stepping away from him to hand over the pool stick. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nico insists, raising an eyebrow at his brother. “M’just being helpful.”
Luca smirks. “I was talking to her,” he points at you, and you giggle innocently.
“Me? What did I do?”
He turns, putting his back towards Maja. “I know that little move,” he bends forward, shoving his ass into Maja to the point that she stumbles away from him, drink sloshing onto the floor.
“How attractive,” Nico deadpans, and Maja starts bitching at Luca in Swiss German, laughing as she does so. You turn back to Nico, hands coming up to rest on his chest and he smiles lazily.
“Yes my baby?”
“I’ll be right back,” you say, and before he can ask, “I need the bathroom. For real this time.”
Satisfaction shines in his gaze, eyes crinkling when his smirk widens. It’s an attractive look on him, this cocky and carefree Nico who’s having fun with his family. You want him like this all the time, you decide. Smiling that wide, knowing that you’ll always be here to make sure he feels good and loved.
“Yeah ok,” he agrees, “be careful.” You nod, turning to walk away and he swats at your ass as you go. You scurry away, hands covering your butt until you can no longer hear Luca gripping Nico again for being handsy.
Making your way through the tables, you come up short when you spot an eerily familiar looking group. Struck by Deja Vu, you freeze on the spot just as the group of girls in line for the bathroom turn to you.
It’s them, all of them. Lena’s friends from that first night at the bar, all the girls that stood there and let her spew lies about you and Nico. A part of you wants to yell at them, to shame them for supporting a woman that could do something like that to another woman, could do that to Nico.
But you’re smarter than that, and scared, and the logical part of you knows you need to turn around and go back to Nico. You need to tell him, to make him take you back to the private bathroom from before and then make Luca kick them out.
You don’t move though, and neither do they. At least for the moment. A short girl with mousy brown hair moves first, stepping towards you and you tense.
“Sorry,” she says, wincing. “I didn’t-we didn’t mean to put you on edge.”
“Yeah,” you laugh bitterly. “Can’t imagine why I’d be on edge around you.”
They all share guilty looks. “We didn’t know what she was gonna do, what she even did. We just heard something had happened to you and Lena had disappeared.”
“Don’t say her name to me!” You hiss, angry and embarrassed that even these stupid girls know about it. Not all of it, it seems. But enough.
“Sorry,” the girl says again and this time it’s a blonde that speaks up.
“We don’t know what happened,” she starts, tentatively and something about her tone makes you stop. She sounds…genuine. “And we don’t really want to know. If it was bad enough for her to be…gone than she probably deserved it.”
Yeah you’d say she deserved that. Actually, she probably deserved worse but you can be too nice sometimes.
“Nico may be scary, but he’s not unfair and cruel.” Another adds. You don’t bother telling them it was you that decided what happened to Lena.
“Anyway,” the mousy haired girl sighs. “We just-we wanted to make sure you knew.”
“Knew what?”
“She was making a deal with someone. On the inside. She never said who, but she bragged a lot about how she was getting her second chance.”
A cold chill pricks at your neck, creeps down your spine and you have to swallow down the lump of fear rising in your chest. Get back to Nico, you need to get back to Nico.
“Ok,” you choke out, willing yourself to calm down. They probably mean Marcelo, the person on the inside that was working with her. Nico and Luca would’ve caught on if someone else were involved.
Abruptly, you turn, head spinning as you make a beeline back to the pool tables. Lena made a deal with someone, they had said. Not the other way around. Marcelo said he’d been offered a deal by Lena, you saw the message. No one ever said anything about her being offered a deal.
There’s nothing to do about the Lena thing right now, not that you even know if it’s true. Maybe they misspoke, maybe they’re somehow in contact with Lena and are messing with you.
Whatever it is, it’s tomorrow’s problem.
~~~~
“Look at that,” Timo sings, bumping his shoulder into Nico. Looking over at his friend, Nico follows his line of sight to you and Amelia. You’re showing her something on your phone, smiling wide and laughing together.
You look like you’ve known her your whole life, and something aches in Nico’s chest. Anyone you would have known your whole life is no longer in your life, and that fucking sucks. And it sucks that between your family and the friends that dropped you, there’s enough lingering pain to keep you from having real friendships.
Of course you’re Nico’s best friend and he knows he’s yours, but it’s not the same. He’ll never tire of you, never wish you had more friends to be around so that you’re not around him. But a part of him thinks you miss that, miss having girls around that feel like genuine friends.
You’ve never said it, but he knows you’re too scared to try and get close with the other Jersey girls.
Maybe Amelia is what you need. A real friend.
“They’re getting a long well.”
Nico looks at Timo questioningly. “You thought they wouldn’t?”
He shakes his head. “Of course I knew they would. It’s just…nice to see I guess.”
Yeah, Nico mentally agrees. It is nice. “When are you going to ask her to come to Jersey?”
Timo scoffs, elbowing Nico and narrowing his gaze. “Like you’ve got room to talk. When are you gonna ask her to marry you?”
Nico has to bite his lip to stop the smirk that rises on his face. His body warms, arousal stirring in his belly as he mentally relives this morning. “She asked me,” he laughs, “but I said no.”
“What? What is wrong with you?”
Timo smacks at his head, Nico ducking to get away. “It’s your fault. Thought there was some kinda rule you gave her about accepting proposals.”
“Huh?” Timo frowns, then sags in disappointment. “No, she didn’t ask you during sex did she?”
Nico laughs, not even needing to answer and Timo groans, painfully. “Jesus fuck, you two really are meant for each other huh?”
“Yeah,” Nico hums, heart fluttering. You are meant for him. And he’s meant for you. He can feel it in the way his entire being is always craving you, how he always feels like he’s missing something when he’s not with you. Even now, with you twenty feet away, it’s like he’s missing his right arm.
A piece of himself he didn’t know was gone until he met you.
“M’gonna ask her tomorrow morning,” Timo finally answers. “I know it’s last minute but that’s just how it worked out I guess.”
Nico looks over. Timo is nervously biting at the corner of his thumb, staring off into space as doubts swirl in his head. Clapping him on the back, Nico nods. “Whatever you need to do. If we gotta hold the flight, we can. If you need to stay longer, I’ll send the jet back for you. Anything Timo, I mean it.”
Then Timo is hugging him, squeezing Nico around the chest just like he used to do when they were younger. When they played hockey together and Timo would shove him into the boards, smacking him over the head and squeezing him tight.
Nico was smaller back then, but the feeling is all the same.
“Thanks man,” Timo mumbles, pulling back. “Same goes for you, anything I gotta do to help just please put a ring on that poor girl over there already.”
Nico laughs, squeezing Timo’s shoulder in thanks. “Don’t worry,” he assures, “I’m already on it.”
Him and Timo share a look of understanding. This is it, these next two days will change everything. Timo will either be walking away with the love of his life, or trying to find a way to finally move on. And Nico, well that little picture he’s had in his head of you in a white dress, swaying in his arms under the stars will be right there.
It’ll all be within reach.
Nico spends the rest of the night picturing that wedding ring on your finger.
~~~~
You should be running errands, should be gathering things and getting ready for the trip home. God knows you’ll have to triple check everything the boys pack, make sure they’re not leaving anything behind or forgetting passports.
It’s a long flight with a lot more people this time.
But you can’t bring yourself to move, to make your way downstairs and busy yourself with something else before Nico gets out of the shower.
Something’s not right. You can feel it, like a heavy weight on your chest, a crawling feeling on the back of your neck. Even before Lena’s friends mentioned it, the unease was there. Call it paranoia or intuition or whatever, but you know you’re right.
Just like you were right that day Lena and Marcelo were following you.
The texts, the plan; It doesn’t add up. Nico may believe that at the end of the day it came down to her wanting his power and revenge for leaving her. But Lena’s father worked with Rino. Even after Nico left she had stake in the business, she had been sworn into the family even before Nico knew of their arranged marriage.
She wanted something else.
Inhaling deeply, you pick up the phone from your nightstand, sliding open the screen now that Nico has disabled the password. The screen is a photo of her, a champagne flute in her manicured hands and long hair hanging over her shoulder. She’s on a balcony, the mountains green behind her. It was taken in the summer obviously, and she’s wearing a long satin dress that dips low down her back.
It’s a beautiful picture, really. But the background is what gets you. It was taken at Nico’s house, from the large open space that overlooks the grounds. He had told you that a pool was up there and in the summer they used to grill and swim a lot.
You pull up the camera roll, swipe through her photos. There’s no need to linger on them, Luca went through all the albums. At least that’s what Nico said.
It doesn’t take long to find the wallpaper photo. It’s fairly recent, taken just a few week before the cold started to settle in.
Lena had been visiting Nico’s home recently. You swipe to the one next to it. She’s not in it except for her hand, holding the champagne flute out over the balcony. It’s from the spot overlooking where you and Nico went on a walk your first day here, where you’d tackled him in the snow and goofed around until it got too cold.
You think back on the moment, on the way the air made you shiver. Was it the cold? Or was it something else?
Huffing, you drop the phone onto the bed and run your hands over your face. The tender spot on your temple aches, overwhelmed and confused. But you have to do this now, before Nico comes back to the room and realizes you’re still caught up on the stupid phone.
You don’t need him worrying over you, thinking that Lena is still haunting you and making you stress.
Picking the phone back up, you stare at the photos app. Why was she at Nico’s house? Luca runs majority of the business now with Rino acting as advisor and figurehead. There’s no business to be done at that house, it would be at Luca’s office.
Unless it was business Luca didn’t know about.
You click back to her albums, reading over the titles of them all. It’s funny how organized girls phones usually are. Nico’s camera roll is a mess, mostly pictures of you, or you and him, or you and Moose. And he doesn’t sort them or delete them. Hell he didn’t even know you have to delete photos twice….
Fingers trembling you scroll down until you get the last album. Lena’s sorted it at bottom, the recently deleted album hidden from anyone not looking for it.
Someone like Nico.
You click the album, holding your breath when random screenshots and selfies come up. Scrolling, you pause when you get to a screenshot of a text thread, all the way at the top meaning it was deleted recently.
The phone number isn’t saved but you can tell it’s a local one. There’s not a lot to the thread but panic seizes at your lungs when you read the first text.
The code is on my desk, everything is set to go. Don’t disappoint me Lena.
She hadn’t responded to it, only liking the message. The number had texted her again the next day.
Timo’s party, she scares easily.
This is who was following you that day, not Lena. And whoever it was had seen everything, knew you were freaked out and pushing Nico away. They knew exactly how to get you to run right to them.
Meaning they were familiar and experienced in this practice. Marcelo, maybe. You don’t know how long he worked for Luca, if he had been there since Rino was running everything-
Rino. Rino who has a desk and an office in that house. Rino who had picked Lena for his son. Rino who has does his very best to make you uncomfortable this whole trip.
Oh no, you think, this can’t be true. But you know it is. There’s no other way Lena and Marcelo would’ve known how to do this. Nico said it himself, they were sloppy and messy with you once they got you. But the plan leading up to that point had been flawless. Executed by someone pulling the strings from afar.
Lena had a deal with someone on the inside.
You swipe to the next photo, swallowing heavily when you realize what it is. Lena had taken a photo of the code, the one mentioned in the texts. It’s sitting on a placard, shiny and silver on an oak desk.
Anyone not looking for it would think it’s simply an interesting desk trinket, a creative nameplate. Pieced together Scrabble tiles, oddly clumped together and made of more than just letters.
R1N067
The numbers are odd, mostly because there’s no numbers in Scrabble. The tiles could be from somewhere else, not that it really matters.
What actually matters is that Nico and Luca missed a huge piece of the puzzle hidden in this phone, one that you’re not even sure you can reveal to them.
Rino tried to have you killed.
~~~~
“You ok?”
Nico tucks into the top of your head, laying a sweet kiss on your forehead. You blink, distracted and continue folding the freshly washed clothes.
“Yeah m’fine,” you respond casually, tucking socks into the extra pair of shoes had Nico brought. Sneakers that sit at the very bottom of his suitcase.
He grabs his jacket from the bed and shrugs it on, looking you up and down through his dark eyelashes. “Got some last minutes things before the flight I gotta take care of,” he says, adjusting the collar. “Which of the boys do you want me to leave?”
You don’t have to think about it long. It’s a no brainer. He’s already proven himself once this trip, got the boys together and ready for an international flight without you and Nico. He’s the one that picked you from the hospital, that effortlessly fit into the spot by your side, a seamless second hand man.
“Umm, Mercer?” You reply, as if it’s a question. The last thing you need is to look suspicious to Nico or at all nervous. He’ll drop everything to be that person for you, but this isn’t something he can be a part of.
You can’t let him.
“Not Holtzy?” He jokes, working on the buttons of his coat. “You’re trusting me with your precious baby Alex?”
Nico fits himself to your back, arms around your waist and his chin presses into your shoulder. “Think he’s hurt that you weren’t on his pong team last night. He needs bonding time with his father.”
Nico pinches your hip and you squawk, jumping away from him. Not that you get very far with him holding you to his chest. “That kid is all yours.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes. You can’t see it, but Nico’s smile widens, already knowing that you’re silently giving him attitude.
“Get out of here,” you mumble, “M’trying to pack.”
He smacks a kiss to your temple before stepping back. “Text you when I’m heading home,” he says, and you can hear him gathering his keys and phone off the dresser. “Do ya need anything?”
Yeah I need a whole day of you distracted with no questions asked, please.
“Ummm I don’t think so,” you turn to look at him, smiling at how cute he looks tucking his hair up into a beanie. “Oh actually, if I send you some stuff to get at the store will you pick it up for me?”
He frowns. “What kinda stuff?”
“For the boys,” you reply, casually. “Snacks and stuff to keep them busy on the flight.”
“They’re not five-“
“Do you want to entertain them the whole way then?”
Nico’s mouth stamps shut, lips pursing in thought and then he shakes his head. You fold the long sleeve in your hands, placing it neatly in his suitcase with a knowing look.
“Yeah ok, text them to me ok?”
He takes your arm, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. “Ok,” you agree, and he squeezes your bicep before heading towards the door.
“Be safe Nico!” You call last minute, anxiously biting at your bottom lip. His heavy footfall pauses on the stairs and then faintly you hear him call back, “Yeah you too!”
~~~~
It takes Nico another half hour to wrangle together Alex, Luke, and Jack. Timo left this morning, looking far too nauseous for you to believe his claim that he’s not hungover.
Once the house has fallen silent, you go to work. Nico’s freshly washed black layers, you slip out from where he watched you pack them in his suitcase. You didn’t bring your usual mission gear, so instead you dig out black jeans and Nico’s long wool coat, laying them out on the bed.
“Dawson!” You call, collecting your boots and the holster you’d taken from Luca after the hospital. From down the hall you hear Dawson lumber towards the bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
He’s in the doorway, knowing eyes looking over the array of clothes you’ve got on the bed. When he looks at you, it’s like he already knows exactly what you’re gonna say.
Dawson’s always been smarter than he’s given credit for.
“There’s something I need to do,” you begin, “before we leave tomorrow. And I want you to come with me.”
“What about Nico?” He asks incredulously.
Shaking your head, you say, “He can’t know. You have to promise me you won’t say a word to him Dawson.”
He’s hesitant, you can tell by the way his whole face wrinkles with uncomfortableness. Even the breath he lets outs is iffy, like his whole body is unsure of this. “I don’t know…”
“Nico can’t know.” You insist, approaching him. “I’ll tell him when it’s right, but it has to be me.”
Dawson lets you take a hold of his shoulders, your gaze reassuring and certain when you look at him. “If you’re not comfortable with that, you need to tell me. I won’t be mad, but I can’t bring you into this if you’re not certain.”
You can almost see the neurons firing in his brain, eyes sweeping over your face like he’s waiting for you to laugh, to tell him this is all a test or a joke or something. After a moment, he straightens his shoulders.
“I’m with you,” he nods, “number one priority is you, that’s what Nico always says. So yeah, I can do it.”
Smiling, you ruffle his hair. “Atta boy, go get your gear on. I’ll debrief you before we go.”
Dawson’s entire body goes point straight, face hardening and he brings his fingers up to his forehead. “Sir yes sir.” He salutes you, a toothy smile cracking on his face when you shove him out the door.
He may not be the most serious and mature of the boys, but he’d sure as hell make a good second in command.
~~~~
“I should’ve known that was you.”
You don’t turn to look at him, humming in acknowledgment as you continue to look over the items meticulously placed on his office shelves.
It wasn’t hard getting Rino out of the house nor was it hard finding exactly where in the mansion he does his work. Mercer simply called the number from Lena’s phone, his voice gruff as he threatened Rino over the phone while you tracked its exact location. The pin locked, Rino took down the fake address Mercer fed him for ‘negotiations’ and you two slipped into the house while he was out.
“Where is he?” Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you look to Rino. “My son?”
He looks amused, like he thinks this some kind of joke, you being here. He was expecting Nico probably, not you.
“You’re sloppy,” you say instead, “all the scheming and lying, and you didn’t even make an effort to hide it?”
Something dark and mocking settles in his eyes. You wonder how ever compared him to Nico, this man. Any sense of resemblance they once held now ceases to exist. “I think that’s enough, this playing pretend.” He waves a dismissive hand at you. “You’re not meant for this life so let me speak to my son now.”
Anger boils in the pit of your stomach, for you, for Nico, for this whole family. This man has got it all. Money, safety, power, but most importantly he has three incredible kids. Kids that should mean the world to him, that should’ve been his priority.
Instead, they were his property.
“You’re stupid if you think I brought Nico here.” Keeping calm, level-headed. That’s how you stay ahead, even if you’re angry or scared. They’ll never know what to do with confidence, Nico had told you once. Even if they have the upper hand, pretend you do.
“That’s fine,” Rino shrugs, “it’ll be easier to get you out of my way if you’re alone.”
His boots are heavy when he crosses the room, stomping against the hardwood as he stalks towards you. Swallowing down the spike of fear in your chest, you tilt your head at him. “Who said I’m alone?”
Mercer takes his cue, slipping in the door behind Rino as the man comes to a halt. The melted snow on his boots squeaks against the pristine floor, and you look over Rino’s shoulder, silently shushing him with a cocked eyebrow.
Rino’s already heard him though, whipping around to find Mercer in the doorway, rifle in hand. Stiffening, Mercer raises the scope and aims it at Rino’s head.
“Oh great,” he deadpans, ignoring the gun on him and turning back to you. He’s close enough now that you can see the sweat beading on his face, the coldness of his gaze. “Another American I’m supposed to be afraid of.”
“I’m Canadian,” Mercer mutters behind him at the same time you say,” Supposed to be? You are scared of me.”
It’s almost funny the way Rino stops, taken an aback by your words and you use the moment to do more damage. “That’s why you made that deal with Lena. Nico was already your wildcard child, and you didn’t like that he brought in someone new. Someone he actually delegated power to.
“Because I don’t sit back and pop out three babies for him, and because I actually care enough about him to show up here and put a gun to your head.”
If possible, Rino’s face hardens even more than its usual stoic nature. “I had to make sure my son wasn’t making another mistake!” He bellows, and it echoes throughout the large office.
“He went against everything I ever taught him, everything that was ever ingrained in him from birth. Last thing I needed was him losing what little he has to a can’t-hack-it!”
“You ingrained in him?” You scoff, moving around the desk and towards Rino. “Everything good about Nico came from the nannies and baby-sitters. You had him simply because you couldn’t handle it, you couldn’t do what he does now.”
You’ve gotten so close to Rino you can feel his anger fueled breathes on your face, smell his oaky cologne. “It’s a good thing you were never around, weren’t here to teach him how to be a fucking coward-“
Rino cuts you off with a stinging backhand, the ring on his finger catching your bottom lip and the coppery taste of blood spills onto your tongue. Before you can even think of swinging back Mercer is kicking Rino’s legs, forcing him to his knees.
“Stay right there,” Mercer spits, eyes ablaze with anger. He shoves the scope of his rifle into the back of Rino’s head. “Touch her again and I’ll fucking kill you.”
Rino laughs humorlessly, glaring up at you as swipe at the blood on your chin. “That’s how it is in Jersey? You throw on red colors and get Nico’s men to kill for you? Act like you actually do something?”
“As opposed to what?” You spit at his knees, watered down blood staining the floor. “Making my kids hate me so much they push me out of the business? Pay my son’s ex to kidnap his fiancé and leave the blame on her and some random man? Hide behind everything?”
Rino opens his mouth to speak but you’re tired of hearing his voice, his excuses. “You’re a coward,” you continue, kicking at his thigh. “You have the most amazing family and you’ve thrown it all away. You don’t deserve to know Nico let alone be related to him.”
You take a step back, collecting yourself with a deep breath. Rino stays silent for the first time all day.
“Which is why you’re not going to know him anymore.” It’s the only real solution you can think of, the only fitting punishment besides death. You can’t kill Nico’s father, but you can keep him from hurting him.
“Nico is never going to see you or speak to you again. You’re not to come around my family under any circumstance.”
“You really think he’ll let you do this?” Rino mumbles, “Nico?”
“I don’t need his permission,” you say firmly, “but it’s actually insane that you ever thought you could lay a hand on me and Nico would want to be around you.
“In a way, it was merciful of me to come here instead of him. Father or not Nico would’ve torn you apart with his bare hands. I guess you wouldn’t know that though, seeing as you don’t know anything about him.”
Rino’s shoulders sag, hunching in on himself as your words sink in. It doesn’t take a genius to realize you’re right. Nico has left his family before, gone out on his own. He’d sure as hell do it again, especially for you.
“What do you want from me?” Rino finally sighs, defeated.
“I’m so glad you asked,” you faux smile at him, digging into your pocket for your phone. The voice note app is already up and you hit record. “I want to know why.”
~~~~
“Hey, we’re at the house. Where are you guys?”
Dawson glances at you, wincing when he returns his gaze back to the road in front of him. Dabbing at your busted lip with your bandana, you shift uncomfortably.
“We’re on our way home,” you say vaguely, stomach cramping. Nico’s gonna see right through it, is going to know something is wrong.
“Where did you go?” He asks, an edge in his tone.
Fluttering your eyes shut, you beg. “I can’t tell you right now, but I need you to please trust me Nico.”
All background noise that was previously filtering in through the speaker cuts off. He’s moved into another room, he’s starting to worry.
“Y/n,” he says, the use of your full name making your tongue heavy with guilt. “What happened? Are you ok?”
“Yes,” you assure insistently. “I’m fine, I’m with Dawson and he’s fine too. We just-I can’t say this to you over the phone, ok?”
Nico’s quiet for a moment. “Ok, yeah.” His voice sounds small, like it’s stuck in his chest. It’s the tone he gets when he’s overthinking, when he’s letting himself spiral. “You promise me you’re ok?”
“Yes,” you say, smiling a bit. Sometimes you don’t understand how Nico got so good at his job because he can be way too sweet for this world.
“A-and Dawson is too?”
You can see the surprise on Mercer’s face at the question, wide eyes falling to the screen of the car where Nico’s name and image is displayed.
“Yeah he’s ok,” you promise. “We’re only a few streets away so I’ll see you soon, ok?”
“Ok,” he says, sighing again. “Be safe.”
“We will.” You hang up the call, slumping back in your seat and groaning. How the fuck are you supposed to do this, to tell him that the man that was supposed to protect him has done the exact opposite.
“Y-you can’t tell him,” Mercer mumbles, and when he looks at you it’s with a sadness you’ve never seen on him before. “How the fuck are you supposed to tell him?”
Your thoughts exactly.
~~~~
Nico and the boys are in the kitchen when you and Dawson come in from the garage. At the sight of Mercer in his combat gear and the case of his gun on his shoulder, they all scramble to their feet. The sound of barstools scratching across the floors is loud in the now silent room.
“What the fuck happened to you?”
Nico is on you in an instant, the door barely being shut behind you before he’s crowding you against it.
“I’m ok,” you say, but he’s grabbing at your face with soft fingers, crouching down until those big brown eyes are right in front of yours. The sight makes emotion swell in your chest, and you have to try hard not to cry for him.
“Tell me who did this?”
His thumb brushes over the wound and you hiss, squeezing your eyes shut. Behind him, Mercer drops his gun onto the counter, beginning to unstrap his weapons.
“I will,” you swear, “but I need it to be just us, ok?”
Nico’s jaw clenches, eyes sweeping over your face and he rises to his full height. “Everybody out,” he calls over his shoulder. “Now.”
Jack and Luke grumble something unintelligible but they shuffle out of the kitchen, dragging Alex with them. Mercer finishes dropping his gear onto the table, casting you a long glance before he too makes his way to the dining room.
“Nico,” Mercer says softly, caught in the doorway. That sadness from before bleeds into his eyes, and he takes a slow breath. “I-I love you, ok?”
He’s caught off guard by the sentiment, blinking in confusion but then he’s nodding thoughtfully. “I love you too Dawson.”
It’s not something the boys say to each other often, the statement going more shown than spoken. The boys used to tease him when he’d say it to you, joke that they didn’t even know he knew how to say those words.
The kitchen falls silent after Dawson leaves, and then Nico is looking back at you. He looks…sad. Everything about him is droopy, the pout of his lips, the way his eyes have gone all big and moony.
“Y-you didn’t call me,” he whispers, breaking your heart. “Why wouldn’t you call me?”
He stumbles back when you throw yourself at him, locking your arms around his neck and tucking your face into his shoulder. But he doesn’t hesitate to hold you, arms wrapping around your waist and squeezing you into his chest.
“I’m sorry Nico,” you mutter, “I’m so sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says fiercely, “just tell me what happened? Who touched you?”
You close your eyes as if that’ll shield you from the next words out of your mouth. “It was your dad, Nico.”
His whole body tenses, a stuttered breath leaving his lips and you can feel the way his hold on you slackens. “What?”
“It was Rino,” you pull back from him, digging into your pockets for your phone and Lena’s. “All of it was him.” You hold them out to him, avoiding looking into his eyes as he takes them from your hand.
“It was in her deleted photos,” you explain, “texts with Rino, the code off his desk. He was the one that instructed her to take me, he set it all up.”
A hand cups your jaw, urges you to look up at him and you suck in a nervous breath. It sucks and it’s gonna hurt him, but he has to hear it from you. “I-I don’t want to see it on there. I want you to tell me what happened.”
So you do. You tell him about Lena’s friends at the bar, about how they seemed to be warning you of her deal. Then you tell him about the phone, about how you kept it because you still didn’t understand how Lena and Marcelo got the plan and resources to kidnap you. That you went through it this morning when he was in the shower, that her camera roll was filled with photos of her recently at his parent’s house. That it felt like someone was watching you that day you were there.
And you tell him about Mercer. That you sent the other boys with him because you needed someone who would follows your orders perfectly, who would be smart and loyal and strong. Someone who would lie to him if needed for you. You lay out the details of how you got into the house and found his office, how Rino came in and fought with you, slapped you. That Mercer made sure he didn’t do anything else.
Lastly, you tell him the why.
Rino had kids with the intention that they’d uphold his reputation, they’d keep his values and beliefs in mind always. And when Nico left, he disgraced them. That to Rino, that was a shame on the whole family. Nico had gotten lucky with his success there, but Rino didn’t think it would last.
And he thought it’d be you that ruined it. Because romantic partners, husband and wives are not to be mixed in with it. They’re meant to be seen and not heard, meant to be symbolic in the business of old fashioned values.
Nico was going to ruin his success, the family he built by letting you have a real role in the inner workings.
So Rino got ahold of Lena the night he heard Nico brought you to Switzerland. She had been staying at the house, was wanting to have a role in the business again. Rino offered her the role Nico was originally supposed to have in Germany, but first she needed to get you out of the picture and Nico back to Europe.
It was her trial, her test into getting back in. And it was Rino’s test of you.
Nico, to your surprise, doesn’t react at all as you talk. He’s like a still oil-painting, one hand clutching yours and the other holding the phones. The only giveaway that he’s still listening is the way his eyes shift between yours.
“What did you do to him?” Nico asks after you’ve finished.
“I-“ you swallow heavily. “I told him that if he ever came near you or our family that I’d kill him. And if he doubted me, he shouldn’t doubt you’d do the same thing.”
Nico blinks, a deep sadness settling into his gaze. It’s a different look than his usual grumpiness, like it’s heavier. You’re not sure what reaction you were expecting, maybe anger or vengeance. But not this.
This look that makes him appear so small, like a child that’s lost his mom in the grocery store. Lost, he looks so lost.
“Your poor face,” he whispers, glassy eyes falling to your lip. His thumb strokes next to your mouth again, careful to not disturb it. “I should kill him.”
You don’t say anything. You don’t know what you could possibly say to that. Nico doesn’t seem to be looking for a response though, continuing on under his breath.
“He deserves it. No one hurts you and gets to walk away, no one gets to treat you like that.”
Nico brings you into his chest again, caging you in with his thick biceps. You hold him tightly, trying to ignore the fact that Nico isn’t really coming to terms with what happened, and on top of that, you’ve gotta find a way to break the news to Luca and Nina.
And worst of all, Katja Hischier.
#mob boss nico hischier#nico hischier#him and i#nico hischer x reader#nico hischier fanfic#new jersey devils#nhl#nj devils#tw violence#smut#Nico hischier smut
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||☆•2 week affirmation challenge for beginners•☆||~(request)
<Hey guy it's been quite while,I shifted for a whole month(which will be 2 days here in my CR) in Koizora DR,for a break from my CR,anyways from the result from today's votes,>
Firstly something we all struggle as beginner to manifest is,obsession,desperation,doubts, procrastation and methods. But guys don't worry it's just a normal phase everyone go through after knowing that we can HAVE ANYTHING we want,logical or illogical. But here me out you don't have to force yourself to get completely rid of those negative,because they are always gonna come up,what YOU have to do is be in control of those thoughts,which mean don't let those thoughts guide you to get in a state of lack. You are more power then that so,flip that shit and focus on the new thought or new story.
I get as someone new to law you will be confuse on what to do,or what to manifest,but the most common is thinking HOW. How do I start,"how do I manifest it into my life?","how is it even possible,will it work for me?". It definitely will you've been manifesting your whole life,but since you are new that's why you're finding it hard to manifest. But let me tell you it's simple,if you are not able to embody state,use SATS,being etc.
So here is the routine you have to follow for the next 2 weeks.
🥗. Create a Pinterest vision board look at it,everytime you feel like you need external validation,or motivation.
🥗. Start your day with affirmations,and use this subliminal and loop it as you affirm. Use the sub atleast 1 hour or more while doing your morning routine and robotically affirming.
youtube
🥗. Now robotically affirm as you go on with your day. You can talk with others don't have to shut the world out as Sammy said. Or you can do 30 minutes affirmation 1 hour rest session.
🥗. On free time use this morphic field and continue affirming for atleat 30 minutes headphones are not needed foe morphic field so no need to use one since Sapien recommended himself. Also do atleast a proper 1-2 hour saturation session,you can also do other activities.
youtube
🥗. OK you have come so far don't give up take some breaks in between.
🥗. At night use these two subs by SLADE,and fall asleep as you affirm. You can loop is overnight too but it's upto you how long you want to use it.
youtube
youtube
🍋🟩That's it so let's see in brief.
★. Affirm as you wake up with the subliminal above.
★. Affirm for 30 minutes and take 1 hour rest or do robotic affirming the whole day.
★. On your free time use morphic field and do a proper saturation session of 1-2 hour.
★. As you fall asleep use two subs and loop it as you affirm to sleep.
Also you don't have to worry about all the emotions you feel,you wanna cry then cry,feeling guilty it's fine,feeling desperate it's fine. Let the emotions pass,people have affirmed while crying,to the point they throw up(me💀) with desperatation,you can obsess over your desires it'snot a big crime. But the biggest crime is not persisting and checking 3D also procrastinating. Also don't get discourage if 3d shows you something you don't like affirm against it because you are more powerfull then those thoughts.
#Youtube#affirmations#affirmation challenge#10k affirmation#manifest#2 weeks challenge#manifestation challenge#law of assumption#neville goddard#3d#4d#law#assumption#saturation#shift#desires#desire reality#SATS#void state#manifesting#self concept
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I might just be overthinking this but (this is lengthy, I wanted to explain as best I could)
I’ve been procrastinating the void for three years now it’s crazy. I haven’t got insane yet, but I have this terrible routine of going throughout the day wanting to enter the void but when I come home and it’s time for bedtime and all that suddenly want to enter leaves this magical third-party force making me do this. It’s a conscious choice. I just don’t get why I keep setting myself up for this disappointment every single day. 
Ive gone through all the reasonings. Even tho this current life makes me nothing but unhappy, tired, and I constantly feel like a shell of myself but it’s what I’m used to another thing I’ve noticed is I only want to enter the void when I’m actively doing something I don’t like like I’m at work or I’m at school or I’m doing homework but when I’m laying down in my bed I guess I’m not inconvenience so I guess I just tell myself all is OK even though there’s this voice deep down screaming at me to just enter the void because I know I’m gonna be disappointed and irritated myself next morning if I don’t, and I always just ignore it.
I don’t know if it’s because I prefer to imagine my dream life at a safe distance in just my head as insane as that sounds. I used to think I was afraid of change, but it’s not that cause I’ve always adapted to it. Well, I guess it was just usually not really my choice I had to. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there’s no way for me to prepare for a life. I haven’t experienced. I’m over that. I know. I deserve to live an stress-free fun life after the bullshit I’ve gone through. I mean, clearly I don’t want enough but at the same time I clearly do because I keep screaming at myself to just do it. I don’t know why my procrastination or laziness or stubbornness. I don’t know why I let it overpower that
Four years probably since I don’t know at least fifth or sixth grade I believe that somehow someway they’re just has to be away I can get the dream life I’ve been dreaming of. I don’t know why, but I just feel like something can do it for me like there’s no way I’m destined to live this shitty ass life, and now that I found the power to do so now I just keep pushing it back. Oh I’ll do it later even though I’m wanted this for years since I was probably 11, im 20 now, I found out about his whole community when I was 17 on a Saturday evening binge eating fruit snacks.
Im just so frustrated with myself, how I can allow myself to keep making my own suffering at this point, I know all the why but I don’t understand the why. Why I keep doing this to myself and how to stop it, I try to think and understand it everyday. I want to enter the void and get the life I deserve and I don’t plan on giving up ever.
Ik this is super long so thank you so much for answering if you do. can I be your 🌶️🥒 (spicy dill) anon, if that’s still a thing?
hi love🌶️🥒
you have the exact same problem that majority of this community has so please don’t feel lonely. A lot of people spend their days doing nothing at all and wait for the last second to apply.
you are not destined to live a shitty life, you get to craft your own life and i know it can be comforting imagining that from afar, but if you really want it you have to lock in, like really, you actually have to try.
I don’t want you to waste any more years like this so some advice i will give you is whenever you have any free time include the void, try and if it “fails” go back to what you know is true, relaxation and detachment and try again.
This is such a common problem in the community and your story will resonate with so many people, so to everyone reading this go an apply, stop killing time 💋💋
#salemsasks#🌶️🥒anon#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#permashifting#loa#law of assumption#void state#success story#the void#void concept
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🖤 Pairing: Damian Priest x f!Reader 🖤 Summary: Damian’s girlfriend and Rhea have a deep hatred for one another, leaving Damian in the middle to referee. 🛑 Warnings: NSFW. Overstimulation, unprotected p in v, cum 18+ 🖤 Notes: Spanish translations are at the end of the story. I do not speak Spanish, so if anything is incorrect, please let me know and I’ll fix it! Thank you so much to @miss-kuki-nz for being my muse 🖤 Taglist: In the comments. If you’d like to be added, please click here! 🖤 Requested By: @twistedprincess-92. Hope you enjoy! 🖤 MASTERLIST
“I am so tired of this bullshit,” Damian complained, unlocking the front door to his and his girlfriend’s home. He shoved it open, and no matter how angry he was, the man never forgot his manners, so he motioned for the tiny woman beside him to enter ahead of him.
Had she not been absolutely livid at the moment, she’d have swooned, as she was prone to doing, but as the situation stood, there would definitely be no swooning this time. “You and me both, babe,” she hissed as she passed him.
Damian slammed the door and locked it before stomping after her into the living room. He watched as she kicked her heels off and doffed her leather jacket, tossing it carelessly to the couch. She crossed her arms, and he knew it was going to be a long night. “You’re acting like you’re the one that should be mad right now,” he said, motioning in her direction.
“Are you saying I’m not?” she asked evenly, brows in her hairline, and it was that perfectly held-together tone that gave Damian an ominous chill down his spine.
“Yeah, I’m saying you’re not. I’m the one that has to referee his girlfriend and his best friend every damn time we go out somewhere.”
“Oh, poor you,” his girlfriend spat. “At least you’re not the one getting called a golddigger!”
“She did not call you a golddigger.”
“Wait, no, you’re right. What she said was you’re just like all the rest. Like the girl you dated before me who spent all your money.”
“She’s just looking out for me.”
“Well, Damian, which is it? Did she not say it or is she protecting a six-foot-five grown ass man who can take care of himself?”
Damian’s hands came to his head but they dropped quickly. “You both literally want the same thing. I don’t understand any of this.”
“Maybe we do want the same thing, but she’s the one being a bitch about it.”
“Oh, great. Next you’re gonna tell me she’s the one that started it.”
“Actually, she did.”
Damian’s eyes went to the ceiling. He couldn’t believe they were having this argument again. It had been almost a year since he’d introduced the love of his life to his best friend, and ever since that day, he hadn’t had a moment’s peace. Maybe the two women were simply too alike and would consequently never get along. So where did that leave him? He refused to choose between them, and he refused to allow them to bully him into choosing between them. Had they reached an impasse? Was this just supposed to be his life now? And when the couple inevitably got married, was Rhea not going to be invited?
“And what if I just say I’m done with it?” he suddenly asked, turning his head to look at his girlfriend.
She stared at him. “What does that mean?”
Damian sighed. “Never mind.”
“You wanna be done with me?”
“I didn’t say—“
“The hell you didn’t. I’m not in Rhea’s cool book, so you’re just gonna toss me aside?”
“You’re not lis—”
“Fuck you, Damian.”
His brows rose and he nodded. “Fuck me?”
“Fuck you.”
She stomped past him, glaring the whole way, and it was clear she didn’t want to be followed, nor did he particularly want to follow her. He knew the door slam was coming, but he still jumped just the same as he removed his jacket, dropping it over the back of the couch before he fell onto the cushions with a heavy sigh. He scrubbed his hands over his face, grabbed the remote, and turned on the television knowing full well he wasn’t interested in watching anything.
He was all threats, and she knew it. He wasn’t going to break up with her, and he wasn’t going to sever ties with Rhea, either. He would live with it, he supposed, like he had been, spending the rest of his life hoping things would change. In the meantime, he’d have to keep them separated. Like children.
“Damian?”
Damian stirred, clearing his throat, and his eyes slowly blinked open. He must have fallen asleep at some point as he was now prone on the couch, one boot on the cushion, the other on the floor. Had he heard his name in a dream? He sat up, yawning, and arched his back to work out the kinks.
“Papí?” his girlfriend called again from upstairs.
“Yeah, babe?” he replied, looking over his shoulder toward the staircase.
“Will you please come to bed?”
He smirked. Yeah, he was gonna live with it. He loved her too damn much. “I’m on my way.” He pulled his phone from his pocket to check the time, discovering a message from Rhea.
I love you, twin. I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.
Damian’s smile only grew and his heart swelled, but then realized his girlfriend hadn’t been the first one to apologize. Did that bother him? Did it really matter? He could build on this. Light at the end of the tunnel. He turned the TV off before climbing the stairs and made his way down the corridor toward their bedroom. The door was open and the lights were off save for the nightlight near the bed on her side—she’d never admitted to it, but she had at least a slight fear of the dark. She was in bed, under the blankets, facing him, the azure hue from the nightlight painting her face in blues and shadows. Damian took his clothes off and crawled under the blankets behind her, pulling her naked body to his. That distended heart of his promised to pop, as his girlfriend cuddled back into him, rubbing her ass against his cock, moaning when his arms wrapped around her.
“I’m sorry, baby,” she mumbled. “You’re right. I’ve been a jerk. Rhea and I can figure this out.”
Damian’s grin could have lit up the entire room. They are just alike. He kissed her neck softly, attacking her spots as his hand drifted along her body. She squirmed when he cupped her breast, rocking her hips against his. “I know you will,” he growled, omitting the text from Rhea. “Because you’re wonderful.” He pinched an already hard nipple, ripping a groan from deep in her throat. “And you’re perfect.” His stiffening cock thrust against the crack of her ass, and she reached back to clutch his hip over the blankets. “And you’re so fucking sexy.”
She giggled. “You sweet-talker.”
“Mhmmm,” Damian mumbled, nibbling on her earlobe. His warm hand slid from her breast, the pads of his fingers skating along her abdomen, and she lifted her leg so those fingers could slip into her dampening pussy.
“Fuck,” she whined, tightening her thighs around his hand as she rode his digits. “Shouldn’t this be the other way around?” she breathed. “I’m the one that screwed up.”
“That makes me right,” Damian boasted, “which means I get what I want. And this is what I want.” His middle finger slid inside her, her hips bucking to accept and bring him deeper. “I’m gonna make you cum at least three times before I even fuck that pussy.”
And he made good on his word, working her over with his fingers until she was trembling beside him not once, not twice, but three times, and by the third time, his girlfriend was a sobbing, quivering, begging-for-mercy mess. She almost protested when Damian began to slide his stiff manhood inside her, and maybe she did a little, but her objection was weak and unconvincing. His hand on her thigh lifted her leg in the air, she pivoted her hips, and her pussy sucked him deeper within her, Damian groaning.
“God, I can’t,” she all but wept, “I can’t, I can’t.” She repeated the words in time with Damian’s pumps, and he nuzzled her neck with tender kisses.
“Yes, you can,” Damian panted. “You’re doing so good. You can take just a little bit more.” He placed her leg gently on top of its twin, tightening her already impossibly tight cunt, and he squeezed her hip before thrusting into her. “That’s it,” he whispered, watching with wild eyes as his girlfriend fisted the sheets and bit down on the pillowcase, “take it for Papí.”
His girlfriend lurched, strangled sounds escaping her lips as her pussy pulsed around him. And that was enough to send Damian over the edge. He pressed his face to her hair and emptied himself inside her, his hips stuttering, pounding, pausing, thrusting again. After several moments, he tried to pull out, but she grabbed hold of him anyway she could, and that’s where he stayed.
“Don’t even think about moving for at least the next five to seven hours.”
Damian chuckled. “Little sensitive?”
His girlfriend scoffed. “You would be too if you just came three times in a row.”
“Oh, you didn’t cum while we were fucking? Let me fix that.”
Her grip on him tightened. “Don’t even think about it. I swear, I don’t even know what Rhea and I are fighting about. I’m the one that needs protection from you.”
Damian laughed again. “I love you, mi vida.”
“I love you … jerk.” 🎀 Papí - Daddy 🎀 Mi vida - My life
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