#not gonna ruin my day tho
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i love watching a movie and enjoying it and then going to rotten tomatoes to see people write reviews that are so devoid of reading comprehension its like did we even watch the same film
#genuinely incredibly funny practice. im sorry ur dumb as a bag of bricks#not gonna ruin my day tho#'the movie never explained-' it did. very clearly#'the movie never explained-' it was a visual metaphor#'the movie makes religion seem cultish!' thats because it was about a cult.#etcetera
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Workin on Redesigning Jackies Colorful version and Im stuck as hell on clorors to pic for their Hair. Tried a billion different ones but These 5 seemed to work best I think
Also also Redesigning Isaac as well as his Sister. The old story I had for them was okay but then I got a better idea that makes Isaac the irredeemable shit I wanted him to be originally!
Also this idea allows me to tie in the whole thing from the cannon creeps comic of everyone seeming to hate LJ. Only in PM I plan on it to be a bit different with Ragz. Mainly that they didn't really do anything but SOMEONE did.
A Hint on why Ragz may be heavily disliked.
#im very unsure on a hair color so by all means give opinions!#either way its gonna be black in the version of them with less color#on another note#if it wasnt obvious Isaac is just being straight up malicious by dressing like that in the underworld#mf is intentionally pretending to be this clown to cause problems because hes pissedbabout being very justifiably killed#I'll get into that backstory one day#i gotta admit tho. Clown Isaac is very fun to draw#i got the idea because when reading the original LJ origin story#the thought of 'hey what if LJ is actually just Isaac?'#like yeah LJ killed him blah blah#bit what if LJ really was just an imaginary friend and the death was more a metaphorical one#im sure someoen else has had the idea before#but it came to mind a long time ago and it inspired me to be like#“what if after getting killed by this clown Isaac said he ruined my life so ima ruin his now”#and just dressed up to cause problems on purpose for them#anyway actual tags now#creepypasta#proxymorons#crp#creepy pasta#creepypasta art#doodleteeth#creepypasta redesign#laughing jack#isaac grossman#Izzy Lockwood#Isaac Lockwood#Ragz#Jackie Ragzdale
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
Get birthday’d, idiot.
(ID: Kirby series sketch of Magolor minding his own business when a certain cosmic clown yells from off-screen "Think fast, egghead!" and throws a whole-ass cake directly into his face, sending him reeling back, candles and frosting flying in all directions. END ID.)
Did I forget it was the 12th anniversary of the release of KRtDL in Japan today (and therefore a certain wizard’s b-day as well) and barely manage to crank out a quick sketch in celebration at the last minute? … Listen, you can’t prove anything.
Started and finished on 10/24/23. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 10/24/23.
#veins art#veins sketches#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#magolor#marx kirby#kirby's return to dream land#spent hours on that cake only to destroy it in seconds#classic Marx-level prank#“you kiddin' me - I ain't gonna ruins my roommate's big day with Store-Bought Cake! I'm a professional here!”#watery-ass cake tho#probably got impatient and took it outta the oven too early#baking is NOT his forte#or cooking in general#actually he's not allowed in the kitchen anymore...#anyway#happy anniversary KRtDL!#(at least when I originally posted this ^^' )#happy birthday magolor!#(love ya buddy! ... despite everything I put your through)#veinsfullofstars
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 196 | id in alt
Gojo you should explode. (Read from right to left)
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#gojo satoru#Kugisaki induced heart attack#though its not her fault that she gets pissed everytime gojo does something#maybe shes biased with Inumaki tho i cant say#im very biased tho#she needs to ruin Gojo's day like he ruins hers#ignore my shitty ass comic for a second im gonna take a nap
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
ohoho boy tomorrow is gonna be so bad but yanno what I’m gonna be a brave little guy and I’m gonna treat myself to back to back bath days so it’s all gonna be good in the end. Today was so bad today was fucking dreadful but there will be a way !!!!! I have to remember the small joys I have to stay strong
#I hate driving lessons. I’m sick of pretending that I don’t dread them every week. The guy who teaches me can tell and it pisses him off but#I HAVE to learn to drive I just have to and I WANT to be able to drive I just don’t wanna have to do it.#Plus idk what I’m gonna do bc it snowed today and if it’s still snowy out where I drive it’s gonna be cold asf and I’m gonna hate it !!!!#It’ll be fucking SCARY I’m already scared driving normally#And then I have psychology which isn’t even bad but I had a really bad consolidation task and ever since I haven’t been able to delete that#Connotation between the two in my brain.#I’m gonna create plans tho im gonna decide what im wearing for the next three days and a couple fun things that are going into my schedule#So I can look forward without worrying about offsetting the routine which is what ruined today (fuck snow)#I’m gonna try and read more and spend less money!!!!#Now I’m happy because I’ve got a bit of chill time tonight and then Friday’s horrors will fly pass effortlessly I’m sure and then before I#Know it it’ll be Saturday and the worries will be gone especially as now I know work bestie hasn’t like. Died (work bestie was like really#bad sick last week)
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love your fic - A Long and Slow Recovery. It’s so beautifully written and the emotions felt are so palpable. Just wanted to pass along my thanks for writing it!
Completely separate from the fic though- What are your thoughts on the Xianle trio - their break up and slow rebuilding of friendship in the novel. ��
Thank you so much!!! ;-; I'm really glad you're enjoying alasr! I'm really proud and excited about it!
Ah I think about this a lot! As in, I think about it a lot to try and decide my thoughts lol. I'm actually rereading the whole novel rn to try and get a feel for everyone, especially the trio. I've been REALLY excited to write them.
Summary: I love them, I'm sad for them, and I wish them well. Rambling to follow:
So my opinion right now is I love them. I think Feng Xin and Mu Qing are really interesting as foils as well as just completely independent characters, and I love that Xie Lian can see them in both of those lights too. Neither Feng Xin nor Mu Qing are really understood or given enough credit by anyone except Xie Lian, and I don't know if any of them know what to do with that. The impression that I've gotten is that Feng Xin and Mu Qing don't even really want to understand each other, and that's really sad, but understandable. Feng Xin's straightforward form of loyalty doesn't translate to Mu Qing, and Mu Qing's fear that no one will ever care to see the best in him makes him preemptively prickly and eager to beat them to the punch, and that does not play well with Feng Xin's earnestness.
(I'm trying to figure out Mu Qing, especially. I like him as a character and want to do him unbiased justice while writing him, but he's such a unique, self-contradictory case lol. I've met people with his kind of defensive cynicism before--the "stop pretending to be a good person" mindset in the face of altruism--and I've always been annoyed with them as much as I pity them, but I like that he's such a realistic character in that way. I'm intimidated by the prospect of writing him but I'm looking forward to it.)
The Xianle trio breakup, to me, just shows exactly the differences in FXMQ's approaches to conflict. Feng Xin stays with Xie Lian as long as he does because it's a simple answer to him: he's Xie Lian's bodyguard and Xie Lian is his friend, so Feng Xin will stay because that's what is both honorable and personally loyal. It's the right thing to do, and it looks and feels right. Mu Qing leaves before Feng Xin does because 1) his mother needs him more and 2) he hopes he can help more by gaining power and resources elsewhere, because what they're already doing isn't working. It's the right thing to do, even when it doesn't look and feel right.
So at that point, Feng Xin displays the kind of loyalty that traditionally gets praised because it's shown in no uncertain terms, even when it's not performed in the most enterprising way. By the more cynical, Feng Xin's approach can be seen as short-sighted, naive, or even pretentious, when he's really just honest and incredibly steadfast. "Loyal to a fault" is canonically used to describe him somewhere. Mu Qing's integrity is easier to doubt by most people because 1) his reasoning can be interpreted as selfish, even when he's sincere and 2) his intentions aren't always purely good! He's a flawed person and his reasons for doing things can include pettiness and selfishness within the greater good intentions, but that doesn't discount the good in them, at least to Xie Lian. Even when Mu Qing is looking at the bigger picture, people can interpret that as him being cold and uncaring about the immediate problem, and he gets angry that he's the only person acknowledging the complexity or futility of the situation. Anyway, they both try their best to help Xie Lian Back Then and refuse to see the merit in what the other is doing. I forget exactly how much Xie Lian acknowledges that they're both trying to help, so, rereading lol. But Xie Lian is definitely Not in a good place and is definitely lashing out at everyone by the end, which I'm sure he feels ashamed of later.
And reconnecting and rebuilding the friendship!! When Xie Lian ascends again, "Fu Yao" and "Nan Feng" are sent to help him and of course their generals don't know about it. And Xie Lian sees through them pretty early and just doesn't mention it because he's a little shit (extremely affectionate), but he knows what they're doing and appreciates it. But FXMQ both feel like they've failed Xie Lian and want to make it up to him, whether he knows about it or not. And they have to work together to do it, as much as they hate it, but at least they recognize that they share that much in their priorities. I think that while it's ultimately hopeful and sweet, there's a lot about their reconnecting that's just straight up tragic. I'm assuming that FXMQ both feel so much shame and regret about what happened and how they left him, and now that they have another chance to help, the literal devil (extremely affectionate) walks in and takes their spot as Xie Lian's protector and right hand. I think Xie Lian still feels awkward around them, too, as much as he still loves them. I am really proud of them for talking it out as much as they do in the end, though. I need to reread some stuff to see how much they reconcile by the end and in the extras, but I remember it being a good prognosis.
I guess also, I think Feng Xin sees Xie Lian as someone he's been proud to serve and call his friend, because he believes in Xie Lian's ideals and good heart. Mu Qing, though, doesn't know what to do with this mixture of gratitude and the resentment that comes with being indebted to someone, especially because Xie Lian is the only person who's really shown that he believes in Mu Qing's potential, good intentions, and worth as a person. The classic "stop trying to be a good person, altruist" thing doesn't work on Xie Lian, because he really just IS that good, and I think that makes Mu Qing want to tear his own hair out as much as it makes him love Xie Lian. MQ and FX's opinions of each other, though, wow?? They're so convinced that the other's intentions are insincere (mq saying fx is holier-than-thou, fx saying mx is selfish), up until they're tested and they have to act together. They're competitive against one another, but they also know that they act well as a united front, so there has to be some grudging respect and extremely grudging trust there. It's funny how the breakup has FXMQ as divided, conflicting forces where in present day in the reunion, they're much more cooperative. Despite their issues, they've grown to speak the same language on some level.
Might have some serious errors in here lol, but I don't really think I have any particularly hot takes on the Xianle3. Again, I'm rereading the novel so I can get this stuff right, but pls forgive me if I'm off-base on something.
#silver-cyn#tgcf#alasr#my writing#oh look it talks#i just want the best for all of them tbh#i'm not gonna say that they're all equally right about everything#but they're trying their best and i like messy characters#i loved fx from the start because i have a soft spot for the honest earnest guys#despite yknow the sexism and honestly being a total dick to mq#but mq grew on me after i got over the cynicism that personally makes me crazy#i read some really great fic interpretations of mq and they helped open my eyes he's so fun and paradoxical and good at ruining his own day#and now i love both of their weirdo asses#i don't like to give characters free passes on their faults tho#thats boring and cheapens them#except hua cheng he's literally never done anything wrong jk not jk
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so done 😔
#honestly it feels like the world is telling me to give up#why... why did my bus pass abandon me..... and i had no change! wth#my hair got all frizzy too.. cant deal with this#its gonna be super duper dry now 😭#i was literally giving myself a confidence boost today n i have some stuffs i wanna do but no.#i have to mess up something today :')#i wanna cry tbh.... but its a bit dumb to cry over this ..maybe#sigh#posts.nae#ok i think ill still try to make that sideblog but honestly ive lost motivation to do jt... plus idk what to name it#hrhshehebsb the world can go explode smh ruining my day >:(#its probably my own fault i lost my bus pass tho#sighsigh wth 😕
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i dont know why the running joke of this chapter is kakashi fearing for his kidneys. where did that come from. WHY did that come from.
i should probably cut that in editing it's a little ridiculous.
except it makes me giggle every time so maybe i should leave it there.
#girl's mind fanfic#clena's writing progress#just have to write ONE more conversation and the whole chapter is done. but DAMN if editing wont be a bitch#still wondering if i should cut jiraiya's 3-page infodump#because while most people dont mind#some people keep commenting saying that my fic is too wordy and i keep adding unnecessary things#and like. they're 1% of reviews but i have the emotional fragility of a china teacup#i cry when i get those sorts of reviews and they ruin my day even tho i get twenty comments who love my rambling#but like. also. i shouldnt delete stuff from my fic just for the 1% of assholes who will say mean things about it#but also i dont want to cry when someone inevitably says something mean about it.#most if not all of said assholes are on fanfiction dot net so technically i could just stop cross posting#except there are people on that site who DO like my rambles so#ugh. why am i such an emotionally sensitive crybaby. my life would be so much better#if i didnt have such thin skin#i'm 90% certain that jiraiya's 3-page infodump is going to get LONGER with editing cause i'm gonna turn it from infodump into#an actual conversation. so who knows how many pages it'll be by the end. the chapter's already 6500 words#which is double my average chapter length#and i DO like the info he presents even if it maybe ISNT strictly required for progressing the story. probably only the last paragraph is#ugh. i wish people would just never say mean things ever. then i wouldn't have a problem with anything xD
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
like this post if you think joseph from the kia service station at [redacted] blvd in [redacted] should kill himself.
#i finally got my car back and then the next day i open the trunk to find it full of broken glass from when it was stolen#even tho theyve had my car for a month and half and it’s literally.#they’re fucking job. and pretty bare minimum to return the car to me not filled with broken fucking glass.#and so i called joseph the manager handling my case and said im bringing the car in tomorrow for you guys to clean it#and i brought the car in and they had me wait in the lobby for an hour and so i went to go get an update and#so i went to go get an update and i found the car just sitting there and go to joseph and im like is it done?#and he’s like oh yeah! its done like he completely forgot about it and i go okay im gonna double check it#and i double check it and got glass shards stuck in my palm because they didn’t vaccum the backseats#even tho they had me waiting for an hour and i told them to do the whole car because there was some glass in the backseat too#and i pull the glass shards out of my fucking hand and go back inside and hold up my bleeding fucking palms to joseph#and say there are glass shards all over the backseat#and he just looks at me like ‘ok what do you want me to do about that’#so i asked him for napkin and left.#his stupid fucking blank stare is burned in my head and has ruined my life. frankly.#it’s not about the glass it’s about the fucking. disrespect.#and because of all that we missed the farmers market#even tho i am wearing the perfect farmers fit and i was so excited to go to the farmers market in it#m
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I knew it was gonna happen and was still flabbergasted when it did
#izzy hands#i understand why it happend. doesn't mean i have to be any less delusional or mad about it#i didn't even have to get spoiled to know he was gonna die. still pissed off tho#not even sad. just disappointed#it isn't even very rare for me to be disappointed that I'm right#idk what that says about me#either I'm gifted with the ability of prophecy#or just so traumatized that i can see a traumatic event coming from a mile away#this fucking show man#literally just ruined my vacation a day before i went on it#so rude of you for that jenkins#i actually trusted this show. should've known better 😒😒😒/hj#i was literally just speechless the whole death scene i didn't even hear what bro was saying#new headcanon: buttons and izzy friendship#I'm pretty sure this ending just ruined my entire ofmd hyperfixation. not even joking#anyways. imma go jump off a cliff now#and when i say jump off a cliff i mean jump head first into my dcu fixation to cope with this bs
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
So anyway I think that teenage tiktok boys who think it’s ok to record someone jamming to mcr in their own goddamn car should be shot and dismembered actually
#true story. I should have run them over#it’s not fucking ok to record people in public without their consent. period.#not gonna let it ruin my day tho
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
and unfortunately i am like the equivalent of one of those true crime girlies but like, with white collar crime and corporate scandals. except instead of getting paranoid about random people minding their own business being serial killers coming for me, i just keep telling every tall skinny whiteboy friend about how much financial crime they could get away with if they put on the right posture and confidence.
#is this worse or better. is this worse or better.#they never take me up on it. the whiteboys ive collected tend to be too kind and awkward to do any of this tbh#BUT IMAGINE.....WHAT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH.....#sorry my dad once told me about a job he was contracted to do to set up some computer equipment for some college#and apparently a day or two later he was contacted because someone just walked in with confidence and stole thousands of dollars of equimen#and they wanted to know if he saw anything. he didnt cause he didnt really work there but apparently it was just some tall skinny white guy#glasses simple short hair probably a plaid button up. it was the 80s. you could do anything if you looked like that. its crazy#maybe my dad should have never told me about that because it like lit a fire in my eyes. im not gonna do any white collar crime i prommy#but lemme tell you. i think about it. all the time HJSKHKDS im too conspicuous but MAN if i was a tall skinny whiteboy.............#and okay the financial ciminal possessing my body aside - i also just get really into this stuff#its my favourite nonfiction stuff to read about. like to get serious for a sec: i wanna see companies get caught is the thing#being into this stuff tho - you will feel a lot of righteous and burning anger about how little these companies end up paying#so many huge life ruining corporate scandals have only just barely started paying out damages to victims like. maybe this year#it can feel like a start to see shit like whatever was going on with we charity or somehting get noticed#but theres always still a long way to go. still exploitation going unchecked. it keeps on happening but i wont forget
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guys- moots who know me well enough kind of-
I'm not simping solely for fictional characters anymore-
...
I hate this, it's weird, I wanna say something to them or at least one of my other irl friends but I'm too scared that 1: they'll judge me and 2: they'll TELL HIM. Dear god I do not need that-
BUT IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE (aka it's been on my mind for a few hours too long)
Yesterday, pool party with friends, right?
I knew that he did some workout stuff but I still was NOT prepared- (me, who was fully expecting him to wear some form of his normal outfit but for the pool- noooooope! Shirtless- very unprepared)
And listen, I knew I at least sort of like-liked him before cuz you know, personality and all that stuff, but come onnnn- like- what do I do now??
And then they were playing chicken fights in the pool or whatever the game is called, and after that they were standing on each other's shoulders and pretending to walk on water (We all had just endured a bible unit in our English classes)
He had offered for ME to stand on HIS shoulders- and for that to happen, you know, they gotta swim under, right? Well, we both have the dirtiest of minds (I also just have shitty balance so I was not about to try that anyways. That was the main reason on my mind but I thought of the other stuff after).
I don't even know if I have blushed since elementary school, but if I did then, then thank god for the sun because sunburnsssss
And then he couldn't find his shirt after we had all gotten out, and one of my other friends said that he didn't need the shirt (jokingly) and dear god I wanted to agree (verbally) but I'm too worried about my whole bullshit being too obvious if I did, so I just had to stay quiet. (He ended up not finding it and just having to leave cuz his parents were there)
But that- that day- just... that. It's not. Leaving. My. Mind. Alone.
#billygoat talks#Look ma- I'm not simping for only fictional characters!#I'm not adding him to the simp list tho- 1: not putting his name anyways and 2: that list is for fictional characters only#Wait- what day is it now?#Fuck- it's only Sunday...#Should I say something? Cuz I only know him because of the IB program but I'm not gonna be in it next school year#And I think the only time we would see each other is either during lunch and after school going to the buses or just buses#But I'm worried that- if I do say something and he doesn't feel the same- our friendship will be fucked up and awkward- I don't want that..#Besides- I've never had good luck with these things#And at the start of the year I had come out to my friends as gay- mid-school-year one of my friends and I agreed I was pan#<- that was only one friend... and the one who made the joke I told y'all about#But he still thinks I am gay- we joke about it a lot- so how would I even start?#I've never been in a relationship- can't say I've never been kissed before only cuz of a weird thing in elementary school-#Believe it or not- even if I can give others advice- I don't know what to do for myself...#I guess I'm scared of rejection but I should be used to it by now-#Oh yeah! The other thing- we've only known each other for a whole one school year- his friends have known him for much longer-#I feel like it's wrong to even think like that after only one school year and say something about it- like it's too soon#Believe me- I do wanna say something but I'm just scared that our friendship will be ruined or he'll ask questions I don't have have answer#to- more than likely one of those would be about my sexuality#I feel like I have to stick to that- like a limitation- but I don't want to-#I have so many wants but I feel like I'm not exactly good enough for anybody and those wants will just be wishful thinking forever#Fuck- just bombarded y'all with my shower thoughts... sorry-#Ummmmmm-#Yeah-
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#cops tw#bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg#got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day#was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that I’m right to be scared#it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow#I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop#so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky#except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning#ig bc I don’t have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier#it’s the second time I’ve been pulled over in my life tho and it’s scary bc this is the first time since the accident#which maybe that was also ok bc it wasn’t my fault#I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again#like I know I got out of that bc I’m white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars#so it’s like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time#when I’m already salty to be driving this late involuntarily#so it’s like I got unlucky And very very lucky#I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment#I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die#or get arrested or whatever#and then they like don’t follow the script and u didn’t expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered#anyway my point is. I’m fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening#it’s long day after long day w no end in sight rn and I’m like half asleep every day#I just want to sleep. without feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow#it’s too much. just all of it#and on top of it all. it’s 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed#happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home#mine#txt#vent post#personal
3 notes
·
View notes