#not for the lack of good sex but just cause i didnt see the point

[dwaekkicidal]

~740 words | warnings: spanking, collar+leash, rough sex, p in v, some dirty talking, DIY porn (pictures & video), mentions of video calling, 'slut' used at the very end, sorta proofread <3

thinking about jeongin bringing home that stupid collar with his name on it. this has literally plagued me for WEEKS but i was so caught up in requests that i never wrote anything for it until now😭

he knew it looked good on him from the onslaught of texts you had sent throughout the day, but in the back of his mind he knew it would look much better elsewhere

which is how you ended up on your hands and knees on your shared bed, your ass cheeks only stinging as he squeezed the already burning flesh.

he took his sweet time appreciating your body with his eyes as he reached for an item in his bag. & he didnt really bother explaining much. other than making sure you were in the mood and okay with having sex, he had kept completely quiet about his plans.

he laughs almost maniacally as he suddenly buckles the collar around your throat. "yeah... I knew it would look better around your neck. innie's pretty little pet?"

oh and that metal clinking noise followed by your head getting snapped backward? yeah... you have no idea where he managed to get that leash. but you cant really bring yourself to complain or ask about it when he slides into you right after finishing his sentence.

he pulls you into him with each thrust by using the leverage from the leash and quickly finds a brutal pace that doesnt give you much room to think, or really breathe for that matter.

the only sounds leaving him are his frantic panting and occasional possessive comments followed by a groan:

"you think I don't see the way my hyungs look at you? huh? you think im that stupid?"

"you're mine. don't fucking forget that."

"think seungmin could fuck you this good? oh! what about channie-hyung? huh?? i asked you a question."

his hand comes down on your ass roughly and you squeak. you attempt to jump forward and run from the stinging sensation, but the grip he has on the leash is too strong. you can only struggle against the leather, causing the metal to make a clanking noise as he tugs it towards him again.

he slams his hips against yours roughly, bottoming out, and stops completely. he loosens the hold on the leash and just stares, letting you catch your breath for a moment, and only a moment. because he has other plans.

plans that include flipping you over and shoving a pillow under your lower back. then sliding back into your dripping cunt and wrapping the leash around his knuckles.

this time he doesnt really tug or pull at it. he just holds you in place with it as he starts fucking into you with more vigor.

& you think that's all that will happen- only the position change. but ohhhh are you so wrong. & he proves you wrong by leaning to the side and grabbing something that is just out of your vision.

thanks to your watery eyes from the lack of air you had up until this point, you dont realize what it is right away. not until you hear the clicks of a camera.

you manage to blink some of the blurriness away in time to notice the flash of his phone taking a photo of you. his phone covers his nose and up, leaving you the toothy grin that spreads on his face.

"say cheese!"

obviously you dont, but he still takes the picture; making sure to capture the shiny metal spelling out his stage name and the humiliated tears that start to fall down your cheeks. his eyes meet yours through the screen of his phone and he moans loudly, hips faltering.

"mmm- let's take a video, jagi. 'n i'll send it to the group chat to show the boys what theyre missing out on."

he curses, his orgasm sneaking up on him faster than he thought and causing him to slow his hips, not wanting to cum just yet. he sighs heavily as he changes to slow and steady thrusts, "or maybe i should start a group call, huh? wanna be our little cam slut?"

he waits a few seconds before he gets impatient and yanks the metal leash towards him, literally dragging you out of your daze. you blink and more tears fall.

it seems to only egg him on though and he finally moves the phone to show off his full face; a sex-crazed smirk with his tongue poking the corner of his lip and his dark eyes staring down at you like youre his 5-course meal.

"what do you say? shall we give the boys a show?"

taglist;

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez

[harucchii]

Why ARE you proud of your asexuality, exactly? And how did and does it shape how you are as a person, having a natural lack of sexual attraction to anyone? What makes it important enough to celebrate? I'm asking genuinely because I don't understand and would like to. Thank you.

Hi! happy pride month :D

I am proud of my asexuality because is a part of me!! is something that affects the way i see people and for obvious reasons my relationships and trying to hide it or change will only lead me to be miserable

through my whole life i experienced things differently when it comes to attraction to people, i never seemed to develope crushes on my classmates or celebrities, cause i just.. didint care? to a point my mom got worried and straight up asked me if i was gay because my lack of interest "was not normal"

when i was in my first long term relationship my lack of sexual needs and desire was a huge issue that would lead on fights very often and my former partner to feel unloved as i would prefer just to cuddle or watch a movie. This back and foward with him and constant fights made me feel like efectibly was somethign wrong with me and transformed sex more of a chore than something im supposed to enjoy or want

thing which developed a huge sexual trauma on me but also helped me to understand that, that relationship would never work because i just could never deliver what he wanted and his needs were different than mine. we were just hurting each other

i also got sent to doctors by my mother as to find what was "wrong" with me as my lack of sexual needs was not "normal" for her

there is so much i had to deal and endure my whole adulthood because of this, because i experience thigns differently

now. more big and more mature i can confidently say, im asexual. I celebrate my asexuality because There was nothign wrong with me and the way i experience thigns is just different

i celebrate it and i mention it as an important part of myself because i know i will not be able to be in a fullfiling relationship if my partner is not aware of this fact or not willing to accept it

i celebrate it because doctors didnt found anything wrong in me and i just love differently. and asuming that lack of sexual attraction is part of an illness hurts people who might be dealing with this feelings!

I celebrate because in a hyper sexualized world i dont really seem to fit in, AND THAT IS OKAY, because the way i live my life should not affect others and they way they live theirs

i do feel romantic attraction! i can fall in love and love other person!! but i just cant deliver what most people would be expect in a relationship and that is okay!

And finally i celebrate to ensure online that the people who experience love differently just like me are not alone in this journey and will be okay :3. just a lil bit of emotional support for who might feel broken due what others say to them

I apologize if i repeat myself or i wronte something wrong as english is not my main language

have a good day!

[defiantdreemurrs]

kismesissitude is actually good

i just saw a garbage take about how having a kismesis is apparently "incredibly unhealthy" and never before have i so quickly into someones garbage little essay realized that they have absolutely no idea what theyre talking about. as someone in a genuine kismesissitude i figure i should set the record straight. lets dive into why kismesissitudes are actually pretty healthy and good to have.

for starters, what even *is* a kismesissitude? the very first comparison were given to human relationships is "an especially potent arch-rivalry" (p. 2395). in fact this is basically the *only* explanation of it were actually given aside from an example of a kismesissitude in the form of jack noir and the black queen in their various incarnations across timelines and universes. over time it would be compared to "hate-dating" with caliginous sex often being referred to as just "hate-fucking", but arguably the fanbase has focused primarily on the "hate" aspect.

thats a valid thing to attach to as its the simplest way to explain it to humans. the red quadrants are like love and the black quadrants are like hate. the problem is, the simplest explanation isnt always the most accurate. this is especially so when the very first explanation of it within the text explicitly states that its more akin to an arch-rivalry, without any real mention of just plain hatred, unless you count the initial acknowledgement on page 2393 explaining the quadrant system as a whole expressing that blackrom is "rooted in the strongly negative [feelings]".

so then, if the spades quadrant *isnt* about just hate-fucking and hate-dating, what is it about?

i dont think i need to say it a third time, but i probably should: its a rivalry. your kismesis is not your enemy. they are your rival. they are not just someone you direct all of your negative feelings and emotions towards. they are someone you might *hate* but someone you also *respect* (p. 7490).

this is why gamzee <3< terezi is expressly described as an unhealthy example of blackrom. gamzee doesnt respect terezi. his actions in their relationship are not an example of a healthy kismesissitude but rather a deeply abusive one. in contrast though, vriska <3< tavros is also *not* a good case study of why kismesissitude as a concept is unhealthy but rather just yet another example of an unhealthy spades relationship, though one less due to a lack of respect and more due to karkats likely accurate diagnosis of tavros as being unable to actually summon enough hate for a kismesissitude to even work.

so let me properly explain what a kismesis is. a kismesis is a romantic partner who you in some capacity harbor negative feelings towards who you see as a rival. and what does a rival do? a rival challenges you. a caliginous relationship doesnt have to be particularly hateful even, just focused on challenging each other thru your negative feelings of each other. having a kismesis is about committing to mutual improvement, both of yourselves and each other, by continually providing a challenge for the other to overcome.

this is even supported by the text. look at karkats explanation to june about how having a kismesis who *didnt* "possess any qualities you [admire] on some level" is both boring and wouldnt work. the "essence of black romance" is in how you would honestly really like and get along with your kismesis if it werent for all their "infuriating flaws, and the incredible sense of frustration that causes" (p. 7490).

implying that blackrom is inherently unhealthy and pointing to the literal actual examples of *bad* spades relationships as your evidence is as flawed as pointing to an abusive human relationship and therefore deciding that all human romance is inherently unhealthy and abusive. it betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of what youre even talking about. its factually incorrect on a level beyond just being wrong about something. hell its honestly kind of insulting.

kismesissitude is beautiful and healthy as long as you understand what youre getting into and dont rush headfirst into something you genuinely dont even get. its not enough to just hate someone. its not even *about* hating someone. its about *why* you hate them. *why* you feel so strongly negative about them. its about *daring* each other to rise above your faults and learn from them so you can be a stronger, better, healthier person (or non-person if you are not in fact a person).

[taegularities]

well this discourse about sex songs basically has been old..in general not just jk

i think sex is beautiful, one of the most intimate things to happen in a relationship, its lovely, just another human emotion and artistry is writing about one's emotions, then why not sex

also having freaky songs does not make you less of an artist or it means lacking substance, that's weird of people to think that way

and idk why people are going all "this is not the jk ik" or "this isn't BTS" when BTS has always written explicit lyrics

yoongi goes all suck my dick in huh recently, namjoon in sexy nukim and smoke sprite, jimin's like crazy had a lyric about getting ridden, taehyung has a lyric where he says "turning me upand back off line this", also BTS has a fair share of lyrics about sex or that point that way so🤷🏽‍♀️

and I have started recent examples

probably it's hitting people now bc now these lyrics are in english, in a language they understand, that's why its too explicit for their pure ears

also most of 3d lyrics are not directly explicit, 90% of the songs including the rap verse, suggestive, do people know the meaning of explicit even😭😭

if you dont like Jack's verse listen to the alternate version, whic i personally think is just corny, it's mild like a pop song generally is, that simple

idk what we're people expecting out of a jack harlow Collab cause the kinds of lyrics he generally writes this is nothing lol

what I think is

people are not giving genuine criticism just pure bullshit i have been seeing the whole day

i didn't like 3d, not bc it's explicit not bc jack harlow verse has me clutching my pearls not bc I think this image doesn't suit jungkook thats insane,

i didnt like 3d bc I felt the chorus was empty, the beat is good, but the song felt incomplete, it lacked the feeling of a complete chorus it felt going on a high and then it disappoints cause, it doesn't give that satisfaction that a chorus should give, that's my criticism part of it

also as a 2015 army myself I love that jungkook is not afraid anymore to show himself, that boy has been insecure forever, been sexualised since he was a minor, and now when he's taking that power back to himself where he controls how people look at him, people want to box him into the flower boy image that they think suits him

probably it's not bighit not scooter but his own decision to have those songs, he's been mature emotionally for a long time his lyrics have always been beautiful, him releasing 2 songs suggestive songs sex in a long career of 10 years i guess I can take it, heck i would take an album even

sex songs definitely don't mean someone's less of an artist or talented. i have my thoughts on this whole thing called 3D, but i still won't add much to the ask now except that opinions are def all valid, whether we like or dislike it or prefer the original or alternate version! — if anyone wants to add smth more, feel free to do so!!

[philossworld]

Its funny in my life right now. Its December 13th, 2022. Og jeg er i københavn, Danmark. Revisting a place that I feel like has changed my life. Years ago I came here and fell in love with a girl that I met on the internet. Long story short I got my heart broke and couldn't take our break up for years lol. It hurt a lot and that break up changed me a bit too. It caused me stop smoking weed and getting "fvcked up" entirely, substance wise at least. It made me a bit salty towards somethings. I didnt want to look at people who were in relationships. It made me crave the want or need for a relationship, I was at a point where I wanted to kiss, have sex, or get in a relationship with any girl who would give me the time of day. I feel like at that point is where I recgonized I had bad tendencies and sort of "Lack of potential" desires. I was in bad shape, and still am. But now, it is a little better I feel. I sort of recgonize that I was hurt. And that hurt made me mad and sad. It was when I got hurt I tried to hide the pain with some connection that would give me a similar thrill to the love i once felt. Its why I started getting into vampires, I thought I felt like them lol. But as time went on, days would pass, and just a little bit each day I would admit I actually feel like shit, and whatever I was doing to stimulate that "previous love feeling" I had was just a trend, or a phase. I was chasing, chasing an idea, a want, a desire. I lusted for love. With people, activites, lifestyles. But. Little by little, each day. I would feel in my body, my heart, this isn't really what i want. That little feeling that told me this isnt what u want was important I feel. Little by little each day, I held on to that just a bit. Because i felt like it was the truth. And I believed in happy endings. I believed that things get better if u put in the effort and time. I believed in hope. Me holding on to the thought telling me "this isn't what u really want" was hope. I watched movies, listned too music, and listned to peoples stories to see how life happened for them. Some stories were bad. Some stories were stale. Some were triumphabt. Some wholesome and hearty. Some were romantic. And some were hopeful. I held on to the romantic, triumphant, and hopeful ones. Because thats what i wanted for my life. When I saw these stories and hear how there lives ended up, I said thats how i would like my life. Watching forest gump, The anime movie "Ninja Scroll" and "Wicked City" and many more. I saw the life i relate to and how they dealt with it, and it was inspiring. Obviously I know I am not a movie character or anything but damn did I relate to these stories. Anyway. Keeping my heart, body, and mind open to a possible hopeful outcome to my dreadful situation is what has brought me to my current spot/journey of getting out of that dreadful and lonely spot in life. Its taken years but everyday I feel i am getting closer to getting out. Damn near I say I am out now, but i still do some of the bad, same things i was doing before. I dont expect to just be perfect and not ever feel bad anymore, but 🤷🏾‍♂️.... hahah i might try at least. So. the point of this message is to not give up. Dont give up man. ❤️❤️❤️ Life can be pretty rough but got damn is it worth it when life is going right. Thats what u should fight for. ❤️ There are a lot of good things in life and its hard to stay with those good things but, its worth it. Dont give up my friend ❤️ 💪🏾 Everything u do is worth it and a step in the right direction.

[beaubaptiste]

The red that painted Cora’s cheeks was very telling, but also adorable. Beau tried to hold it back, but a knowing smirk inevitably spread on her lips as Cora turned into a tomato. “ It was that good, huh?” Beau said without an ounce of shame. She imagined that, given they were animal in nature, sex between werewolves was passionate and full of vigor. Beau snickered as she leaned forward, her intrigue showing even more. “ It’s no damn wonder you’re still so hung up on this dude… Hell, I wanna see him if he’s all that you say he is.” She joked. 

“Damn, babygirl, I didnt’ know you had it in you!” Beau gasped, the new reveal having her clapping an open palm on the counter in excitement. “ I woulda thought that cherub face was all innocent, but look at you being out here for them streets!” She laughed playfully. Beau herself was no stranger to one-night stands, nor was she going to shame anyone else for them, even if she didn’t expect that from Cora. “ You got that good good, didn’t you? Shit, I’m jealous.” 

A little girl talk was good for the soul, and although Beau wasn’t all that tense when she walked in, being able to shoot the breeze with a friend over silly things when there was so much going on for them both made her feel almost normal. She had a great many clients, a plethora of acquaintances, but there were so few people that Isabeau considered a true friend. It was just hard to get close to someone you had to keep secrets from, and history ( hers and the world’s had proven that the majority of people did not like to feel powerless and wouldn’t handle well the discovery of supernatural beings inhabiting their neighborhoods and schools. It made coming across people like Cora all the more important and treasured. 

“Girl, at this rate, that’s not such a bad idea. In this economy you need a double income.” She chuckled.  The fact that Cora could joke so freely made Beau at ease; her loud and unabashed personality wasn’t for everyone, but Cora was just as free with her speech and it felt nice to not have to be so guarded. 

“Well when you find him point him my way cause I’m the last one available to further this bloodline.” Beau smirked. She gave a knowing grin as Cora mentioned the lack of surnames being given, but shockingly, the name did feel familiar. “ Ruben, huh?” She echoed with a smile. “ Even his name sounds fine, damn. Well, it sounds familiar, and I could ask around, but given you’re one of the only females of your kind this side of the Mason-Dixon I reckon it won’t be long before he finds you. Mating season is around the corner, and these kinds get pretty desperate to keep their species alive and thrivin’. 

The added reminder that this place was paramount to most eased Cora’s mind, settling in the rise she carried at her shoulders. Her time in New Orleans was still so new, and though she expected some changes, new fears came quickly along with it. Immense relief at the thought that she would no longer have to do everything alone kept her grounded. Of course she was an adult and didn’t need a guiding hand in a new place, but there were forces deeper than that at play. She had a friend to navigate the corners Cora herself could not predict, and in that came a sense of confidence.

Almost as soon as the sound of her voice raised in interest, Cora broke into a smile. It was sheepish, covered in a blush that spread across her cheeks. Not even in the heat of the moment had she flushed this much, recalling the night and finding herself suddenly feeling bashful. It had been so long since she’d gushed with friends, much less about those of her own species. There was no need for concealment, and every detail need not be spared for fear of over sharing.

Laughing between words, Cora splayed her hands over the counter, using the pad of her pointer finger and thumb as she collected wisps of petals and cut leaves, shards of leftover parchment paper. “Not helping my case any but we did meet at a bar where I also work.” She made a begrudged sigh, though it didn’t matter much now the deed had been done. “Let me just also say that if you saw him, I’m sure you’d understand.”

“Yes, let’s get married and we’ll split the costs 50/50. I’m not a terribly good cook but I get the sense you might be. At least you know I’ll tend to your garden and pay the bills with my two jobs, even if I’m using it primarily for hookups, apparently. Hell maybe I’ll tend to both gardens if it gets dire enough.” She laughed at herself again. “It won’t be so long for you,” she added. “You’re absolutely stunning, I can’t imagine you’ll be alone for long. There’s got to be some decent man of the very minuscule percentage of ones that are actually good for you.” The offer sparked interest in her eyes, a mischievous smile on her face. “You’re kidding.” she nearly giggled. “You’re like a private detective where were you when I was sweeping through New Yorks finest douchebags? What can’t you do?” A laugh remained through her words. “You know we didn’t get to last names, wouldn’t you know it..but his first name was Ruben, if that’s of any help.”

[post-hoc-fallacy]

SEX

Alright got your attention. So if ya suck at wanting to sex or can sex pretty good once you get into it but just never think about this supposed pinnacle of human enjoyment untill you do, ive got a revelation for ya. Im usually pretty skeptical about "self help" books and junk but said eh why not and stumbled upon Dr. Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are and bought that shit.

Alright hear me out, I'm not done the book yet (like half way through) but it reads like a text book with some fun nerd references and if my college lvl psych class says anything, her research seems to be science based and sound. But I didn't even explain anything did I? Well, instead of 10 ways to satisfy your partner, Dr. Nagoski goes into the science and psychology of why people like myself (who never spontaneously want sex except for hormone going crazy time of the month) are perfectly normal and why we function the way we do. I hate when people plug crap like this, but with Dr. Nagoskis book, it felt like reading a biology or psychology book which I love just straight facts and no bullcrap. Some of the language she uses can be kinda "how do you do fellow kids" but for the most part it seems like part of the marketing and her just wanting to be relatable to people like myself (late 20 somethings), and just wanting to appeal to the widest range of people possible (also completely understandable since she usually teaches college kids).

Anywho, at the very least, her methodology and research seems sound to my very limited scope of psychology and resonates deeply with an insecurity I've had for at least a decase now. so at the very least I wanted to get a conversation started or plant some seeds in peoples mind weather this post gets reblogged or not. Dr. Nagoski's basic message (from what Ive read so far) is that no matter how much or how little you want sex, you are normal. No matter how your bits are rearranged, or colored, or shaped, you are normal. We're all made up of the same stuff, just organized differently and that is normal.

For many this might be beasic stuff, butbfor me it was revolutionary, that I'm not the only person who doesn't think sex is an end all be all, but isn't exactly asexual. I mean I still enjoy it in my own time, but I wanted to start a conversation, and even if I reach one of my followers, I've done my part. You're not alone, you're normal, there's nothing wrong with you and I love you and feel like you do too.

So here's a link to Dr. Nagoski's opening chapter of her books Come As You Are. It has the dumb "kinda looks like vag but is just a (insert innocuous object here) cover that marketing a book requires, but I assure you the facts and psychology is sound. Some words may be trying to hard to sound relevant, but if you look beyond that the messge of an accomplished, well educated, well established sex researcher is there.

https://medium.com/@enagoski/pleasure-is-the-measure-d8c5a2dff33f

If you're like me, and sex just isnt that sexy, im there for ya. I feel and respect ya. I'm married to boot and working my way through but there is hopefully a way out for those of us who want to work towards it.

[mk-tozier]

Hi! Could you do a fic where Richie catches the reader touching themselves and as they finish they look Richie in the eye so as punishment he fuckes them so hard... Please and thank you!

hiii anon I am so sorry I took this long but I’ve literally been thinking abt this request since you first sent it in I love this idea sm

Warnings - oral (fem receiving), degrading, overstimulation, fingering, masturbation, slight praise?, squirting, unprotected sex, Lil plot cuz I hate writing plot for smut. Didn’t proof read I apologize FLUFF AT THE END

————————————————————————

Y/n layed in her bed, sighing in frustration. She hadnt gotten to see Richie a lot lately cause he has been out doing a lot, which was totally understandable to her. She would never blame him for doing different things and having a life besides her, and she was actually really proud of him for since his days would always consist of just hanging out with her and she wants him to actually branch out.

But Richie had been busy every single day all of a sudden and when they did see each other it wasn’t for long, not to mention they hadn’t fucked in awhile. Which is something they did almost everyday, they probably had the most active sex life in their friend group. Whenever they had tried to fuck lately it seemed like they always got interrupted, things would get heated, things were interrupted and then things ended there.

Y/n didnt blame Richie, she knew he probably was just as pent up as she was since she knew how needy he was when it came to their sex life. But it was becoming a little tiring, she hadn’t had a release in almost a month and she really needed it.

She could always masturbate but it wasn’t the same without Richie, his fingers could do things she couldn’t and they sort of had a rule not to masturbate without eachother, so she tried to follow it.

But this particular day she had been so sexually frustrated. Y/n stared up at her ceiling, the thoughts of masturbating had popped into her head but she knew she could never make herself feel as good as Richie could.

Richie knew just how to pleasure y/n, it was almost as if he memorized every single part of her body and every single way to make her back arch and beg for him to let her cum. Y/n felt those thoughts go straight to her core, if she wasn’t wet before she was definitely now.

All y/n could think about was richie fucking her into her bed, and the more she thought about it the wetter she got. “Jesus christ” she whispered to herself, putting her hands over her face. The feeling in her pussy almost unbearable at this point, she groaned in annoyance.

She couldn’t take it anymore as she let her hand trail down her stomach and slip into her panties. She had been wearing one of richies shirts, like she always does, it smelt just like him and his scent completely intoxicated her. She spread her wetness through her folds, her finger soaked. Y/n pulled her panties completely off, beginning to get impatient with herself.

Y/n slipped one finger in, immediately gasping. She had become sensitive from the lack of pleasure she had been getting. Wasting no time, she began to slip in another finger. “Shit” she gasped again, her pussy overly sensitive, every little move making her eyes roll back. She already began to pick up her pace, moaning out. Y/n imagined it was richies fingers, plunging in and out of her like there was no tomorrow, driving her crazy. Her other hand immediately trailed down to her clit rubbing in circles.

Y/n began to moan louder, luckily no one was home because if they were anyone in the house could definitely hear her. Her back arched slightly as she began to think about things richie would do to her, imagining him fucking her senseless with his fingers or eating her out until she started crying, thinking about how his dick would stretch her out.

“Fuck Richie” she gasped, the pleasure almost overwhelming. Of course it wasn’t as good as Richie but due to how sensitive she was and how much pleasure was going on at once she was already loosing it. She gasped for air, rolling her clit in between her fingers and fucking herself faster. “Oh my god.” She moaned. “Yes Richie please fuck” his name escaped her lips as she imagined him right there.

On the other hand, Richie had been walking into Y/n’s house to surprise her and make up for all the hours he had missed with her. He began to walk up the stairs as he heard his name coming from her room. Was she moaning? He smirked slightly when he realized she was and began to open her door. “Tsk tsk” he says, leaning against the doorframe.

Y/n opens her eyes, seeing Richie. As embarrassing as it was to be caught by him she realized how perfect of an opportunity this was for her. She looked him in the eyes, moaning again as she picked up her pace, once again. “Oh fuck Richie” y/n says, almost breathless, Richie watching her every move. She begins to reach her high, maintaining eye contact with Richie. Y/n can see the bulge growing in his pants, making her smirk slightly. “Oh Richie, I’m gonna cum oh my god” her back arches and she can barely make out words anymore as the only thing escaping her lips is moans as she cums, looking Richie in the eyes as she does so.

Y/n rides out her high, moans still being the only thing she can make out before her body collapses, sweaty and weak.

“What a slut, you couldn’t even wait until I got my hands on you.” Richie says as he closes the door behind him, taking his shirt off as he walks over. His words immediately made Y/n clench her thighs once again. “I said one sentence and you’re already horny again. So not only did you break my rule and didn’t wait for me, you’re also so quick to get rules up.” He shakes his head.

Richie runs his fingers through her folds, a whine escaping Y/n’s lips. “Look at how soaked you are, is this all for me? Hm baby?” He asks. “Mhm yes all for you” she shakes her head. “What a needy slut” he laughs. Y/n whines again. “Please Richie” she says, needing him more than ever. “You’re already begging? You just came, why don’t you just do it yourself since you already decided to.” He removes his fingers from her folds. “No please Richie I need you so bad. I’m so sorry” she shakes her head, her voice raspy. “Please what?” He asks. “Please anything I need you so so bad, your fingers, tongue whatever i just need you so bad” Y/n begs making Richie chuckle.

“You’re such a pathetic whore” Y/n clenches her thighs once again, basically dripping now. “Look at you, so needy.” “Please Richie. I couldn’t ever do as good as you, I need you” She starts to tear up, over-frustrated. “no need to cry baby, I got you” he says, wiping her tears.

Richie lowers himself down to her pussy, licking a stripe up her clit causing her to gasp. Richie immediately gets to work starting to suck on her clit like there’s no tomorrow. “Richie oh my god.” She cries out. He inserts two fingers in her right away, not even trying to build up at all. Richie laps around her clit before lapping up and down. He picks up his pace fingering her and begins to suck on her clit once again. “Fuck Richie. I’m gonna cum” her hands fly to his hair, beginning to pull. He groans against her clit, sending vibrations in all the right places. “Fuck fuck fuck oh my god Richie please oh” words tumble out of her mouth as her snaps back and she cums on his fingers.

Y/n tries to catch her breath, panting and gasping for air but moans out again when Richie doesn’t stop. “Rich-“ she says before gasping. “Rich I already came whatre you- ah shit-“ Her chest rising and falling as she moans again.

“Since you wanted to cum so bad, I’m gonna make sure you cum.” He says “isn’t that what you wanted?” He begins lapping at her clit once again, making y/n shake from overstimulation. Richie starts up his fingers again, curling them and hitting spots that drive y/n crazy. “You’ve only cum 3 times and you’re already shaking? How pathetic” he watches her face as tears roll down her cheeks from all the pleasure hitting her at once

“Please Richie oh my god” she says, hee legs shaking. “I’m close” she gasps, putting her hand over her mouth. “Don’t cover your mouth I wanna hear your pretty moans.” Richie says, kissing y/n’s neck continuing his steady pace. “Cum for me princess. You’re doing so good” he mutters into her ear, sending y/n over the edge. His name tumbles out of her mouth countless times, breathless.

“Fuck me rich” she says looking at him. “Are you sure?” He says looking into her eyes for confirmation. “Yes please” she nods her head, needing. “Okay, such a needy whore for me, hm?” He says smiling, giving her a kiss on the forehead before pulling his pants and boxers down.

Richie slowly inserts himself into her, making Y/n whine. No matter how many times they fucked she’d never get used to how big he was. “Richie please move” she whined once again. “Are you completely sure?” He asked, making sure she 100% wanted this. She nodded her head and that’s all he needed before he began to thrust into her.

Richie immediately began to pick up pace, needing to feel her wrap around him. He had to wait for this just as long as her and even if he wouldn’t admit it, it was driving him crazy, not being able to touch her, make her feel good or hear her moan was killing him. He’s known as the horn dog of the group so it was probably even harder for him to contain himself.

Y/n clenched around him, her eyes shutting as she grabbed his hair, pulling on it. “You’re taking me so well such a good girl” he groans, hitting all her sweet spots. “You’re so big, filling me so well” she mutters, making him groan again.

She wraps her legs around richies waist, her back arching as she lets out moan after moan, not able to contain herself. “Richie, I’m close already please let me cum” she begs, needy for a release. “Go it’s okay cum for me princess” he says, thrusting faster.

“Fuck Richie” she says clenching around him. “I’m gonna cum- I’m gonna cum” she moans, Richie watching her face as she does so, her face almost pornographic like. She gasps as she cums, her eyes rolling back. Richie begins to slow down after her orgasm, going to pull out.

“no keep going you haven’t cum yet” she says looking up at him. “Wow you’re that needy? Such a good little slut for me.” He says keeping himself inside of her. “Why don’t you ride me like the good little whore you are?” He says grinning. She nods quickly and needily, making him laugh at how pathetic she was acting for him.

Y/n pushes him down on the bed, getting on top of him before inserting his dick in her. She began to ride him, her head falling on his chest as she moaned. Richie puts his hands on her hips guiding her. She cried out, moaning loudly. In this position Richie could hit spots she didn’t even know existed.

“Richie I’m gonna cum again please” y/n sobbed. “It’s okay me too” He says, groaning. Y/n screams his name, chasing her high. This time it only felt different. She clenches around Richie, sobbing and yelling, the strongest orgasm she’s ever had washing over her. “Holy shit” Richie mutters watching her body. Her cumming sends him right over the edge cumming inside of her.

they both fall over into the bed. “I think that was the best sex we’ve ever had” y/n laughs slightly, her entire body feeling weak. “You know you squirted right?” He looks over at her. “What?? Are you serious” she only smiles. “I thought that was a thing only in like Pornos” she giggles again. “No I’m being so serious you totally did” Richie laughs with her. “it was hot as fuck though” She rests her head on his bare chest. “Maybe I should wait weeks before fucking you like this again” He jokes “oh hell no, never again” They both laugh and look at eachother smiling.

“I’m sorry if I went too hard on you or anything” he says, kissing her forehead. “no not at all dont worry rich” She says hugging him. “Should I run you a bath?” He asks. “Yes please, I love you so much” y/n smiles. “I love you too princess” he laughs, before getting up to run a bath.

A/N - Sorry it was a lil rushed at the end

IT TAGLIST -

@kindofokayimagines @myuninterestinglifestory @pavys-originals

[jennycalendar]

ok so like it's been a hot minute since i watched season 2 but i've always felt like… jenny did nothing wrong? not even in a Fave Defending way? like this isn't about anyone's in-universe reaction but i feel like a lot of people, even jenny enjoyers, say she still did a Fuckup and should be sorry, even while acknowledging it wasn't her fault and buffy/giles' anger was unjustified. but what did she even fuck up really?? her only crime is a lie of omission! what good would it have done anyone for her to tell them the truth? it's not as if she was really double-crossing them. she was actually on BUFFY'S side by not doing anything about their relationship, like she was actively going against her family for their benefit and most importantly she didn't know about the trigger. and you can hardly blame her family for wanting to keep tabs on the curse when everyone is fully aware how brutal angelus was. and she immediately tried to undo the damage that SHE DIDNT EVEN CAUSE (i know they didn't know that at the time on the show but for the broader context? and i think it's clear she even cared more about having hurt buffy rather than about maintaining the curse simply for curse reasons) idk i know i'm an overly forgiving person but hello?

as much as i would love an alternate version of the show where jenny lives, it could've also been a Really Good death if they had allowed it to resonate. give me buffy desperately trying to make peace with a dead woman in season 3.

and on that note, sorry to say so many things but this just popped into my head lol- idk if you've talked about this before but if jenny had lived, how do you think she would react to angel coming back/buffy seeing him in secret? because everyone else was so angry. (true giles was mostly angry because angel had killed jenny, but maybe say angel had tortured her/severely wounded her or something? to get a similar degree of Giles Mad for arguments sake?) do you think she'd be pissed off about it or overcompensate with supporting buffy out of guilt or what? 😃

hglshkhlshlsgdk this is such an unpopular opinion that i have to water it down when i suggest it, but i actually completely agree with absolutely everything you're saying. there is this constant perpetual narrative that jenny did something wrong and should have told them, but sheeeeee really didn't there! she had absolutely no relevant information that would have stopped angel from turning. there has been the half-suggested supposition that the scoobies finding out jenny was there would have prompted them to ask questions as to Why she needed to be there, or that it was jenny's responsibility to ask more about the purpose of her mission, but, uh, giles also has a mission with some questionable ethics going on and we don't see him questioning the higher-ups until season three! she has an ingrained sense of loyalty to the people that raised her, and from her perspective, she's just watching some guy and reporting back to her uncle. definitely some foresight would've been USEFUL but her lack of investigation/independence, while dumb as hell, isn't the catalyst for the angelus stuff & it's doubtful that that could have stopped it anyway. like. even if they knew about the happiness clause, there was always the possibility that buffy and angel wouldn't have realized that sex with buffy would make angel truly happy! and MY POINT IN ALL OF THIS is that just trying to frame jenny as At Fault requires the same kinda supposition that i'm throwing around now. the same kinda ifs-buts-maybes. there really wasn't anything she could have done to change what happened.

and like you said, she was straight-up team buffy from the get-go! the very first scene we see is her going "sure yes i'll take buffy away from angel" and then she makes one halfhearted really bad attempt and completely gives up? and can that even be called an attempt? like she was making a VALID POINT, literally who else was going to be able to take the judge's arm safely to nepal or tibet or wherever? but the show treats everything she does as if she's some disney villain when what she's doing is actually just kinda...trying to figure out a way to make this work for the people she loves. (and the framing is deliberate! the sinister music that shows up whenever jenny's doing Sinister Things that actually are literally never sinister. looking at u, surprise party invitation.)

so yes i completely agree. the only crime jenny committed was being a smart confident lady, which she obviously had to be killed for, because no adult woman on btvs can be smart AND confident AND morally upstanding AND alive all at the same time. you get two. jenny just barely gets two and a half so she comes out ahead.

also -- hm! hate to say it, but the thought that immediately comes to mind is jenny kinda considering herself too low on the totem pole to actually have the right to say she's not comfortable being around angel, especially after everything that happened in the previous season & how things were left between her and buffy. i think that giles would pick up on this really fast and be cosmically fucking horrified by this. like maybe during the intervention the scoobies poke jenny to try and get her to say she's not comfortable and she just totally demurs and draws into herself and that very likely makes buffy feel Even Worse About Everything. (maybe jenny's critically low self esteem post passion in an au where she lives is something i'm seriously thinking about as this watch continues, because i really don't think you can go through a whole month of the people you love--both blood family and chosen family--just cutting you off and treating you like dirt without feeling like you're not honestly a part of the team. blowing a little kiss to @hal-1500 because something good TOTALLY GETS THAT imo.)

[letteredlettered]

Do you have any complaints about HP canon, and if so, what are they? For example I know a lot of people really dont like that Draco didnt get a redemption arc, but your work seems to really thrive off of a close reading of canon Draco in a way I think a lot of fanfic just cant because hes like... a very bad person. Its made me wonder if you are very... canon positive? I guess? Or more positive than most, maybe.

I have too many complaints about HP canon to list in an ask, but I can try to list some of them. First I want to say that choosing to use canon to inform your fic has less to do with whether or not you like the canon and more to do with what you like or want from fanfic. If you don’t like that Draco wasn’t redeemed, you can write a fic that posits he is redeemed and so that canon doesn’t have to be dealt with. Or, you can write a fic that shows how he gets redeemed or deals with the fact of his redemption to show what canon could have been. I obviously prefer the latter style, though I respect anyone’s choice to write in the former style. I can’t say I always understand the former style, but I respect the fact that people want to do it and should if that’s what they want.

I will say that I’m not sure I’ve ever written a fic that’s fully canon compliant, and I can’t quite imagine wanting to. Most of my fics a response to canon--they’re about something that wasn’t in canon, that I wish was in canon; or they’re about something that wasn’t in canon, and I don’t want to be in canon, but I still want to be explored. I wish the MCU would actually deal with the responsibility of wielding outsized power of destruction, so I wrote MCU fics. I do not want Schitt’s Creek to deal with the darkness of David Rose’s trauma or past, but I was still interested in it, so I wrote darker SC fic. I love Star Trek TOS, but I want to see Kirk and Spock hook up, so I wrote TOS fic.

There are a few things where I like the canon just the way it is, so I don’t write fic for it. Rainbow Rowell’s Carry On series is just what I want. I don’t need to write fic.

Back to my complaints with HP canon, the major problem I had was a lot of set up without the follow-through I expected or desired. I discussed that in my tumblr posts about Ron and Ginny. The set up of the Harry Potter universe is rather black and white, which I appreciate--it’s easy to get invested; it’s easy to consume. You know who the good guys are right away, and there’s no more complication. LOTR is rather like that, and I love it. But then HP begins to deconstruct its premise--James Potter was good, but he wasn’t kind. Dumbledore was trying to stop Voldemort, but he wasn’t honest. Snape is a horrible person, but he’s trying to do the right thing. This is my favorite sort of story, the one that starts black and white--vampires are evil; the robots will kill us, and the Gems that didn’t rebel are the enemy. Then a vampire earns his soul, or you find out you’re a robot, or--well, actually I didn’t like where Stephen Universe really went with that, but you get the picture. The Harry Potter series began the process of turning its own premise inside out, but somewhere in Halfblood Prince, that got too hard, and things began to snap back to their original shape. Good is good, actually, and bad people will always be bad.

One example of this is the death of Voldemort. Harry is set up as a mirror to Voldemort. Their pasts are very similar. Harry even feels compassion for Voldemort. At several different points, Harry is faced with the fact that he has to kill Voldemort. But Harry never has to deal with killing Voldemort, or with making a decision to spare Voldemort. In the end, Voldemort causes his own end as a result of his own destructive tendencies. This makes me feel that the text is suggesting that Voldemort deserves death. The idea that anyone “deserves” death for bad things they’ve done is not something I believe in or ascribe to. But even if it is the argument the text wants to make--what was the point of showing us that Tom Riddle was lonely, hurt, feared, and probably mistreated? The point really appears to be to show that two boys can have the same background and one turns out good while the other turns out bad, because goodness is inherent to some people while evil is inherent to others. I find this conclusion abhorrent, but I feel the conclusion is ultimately borne out by plenty of other aspects of the HP books.

The other example is Draco’s lack of redemption. I do not think villains have to be redeemed. The world has proven that shitty people can remain shitty. I also appreciate stories that show us the humanity of shitty people. A story about someone who is faced with thier bad choices but continues to make bad choices because they’re too afraid to do otherwise can be a good story. But I guess with Draco, I felt like I saw enough of his inner turmoil to understand why his heart would change, but not a thorough explanation of why it wouldn’t. Combined with many other similar characterizations in HP canon, it just feels like more essentialism--bad people are bad, and that’s how it is. I don’t mean there’s no nuance--as I said, the series does begin to deconstruct its own premise; we even saw how the Trio could be shitty. But ultimately they make the right choices. The characters who make the wrong choices generally continue to make them, except for Snape and Dudley. My complaint with those two representing a change of heart is that we don’t get to see the actual painful process of what that looks like--Snape’s happens pre-canon and there is too little of Dudley to show what is going on in Dudley’s brain.

The last thing I absolutely hate about HP is a lot of the “bad” characters tend to be overweight or unappealing in appearance. It’s true that a lot of this might be Harry’s POV--maybe Snape actually is the sex god some fics make him out to be, and Harry just he’s greasy because he doesn’t like him, and maybe Harry doesn’t like a good hook nose (I do). Additionally, Lockhart is very pretty, and while I want to firmly stress that Draco is never describes as good-looking, he’s not really described as ugly, and I believe Narcissa is even described as beautiful. But the book isn’t written in close third-person Harry POV, and “pointy” isn’t very flattering. Unkind words and stereotypes are used throughout to highlight the badness or evil of almost all the characters we’re not “supposed to” like. The descriptions of the Dursleys in particular are upsetting.

In my opinion, the  above examples demonstrate a lack of compassion at the heart of the HP story. That’s what I’ve always hated about it and what always made me want to write about it. I want to write and say, “Look at this. This is fucked up. This is wrong.” Some people don’t read fic for that reason, and I think that’s fine. Plenty of those people really hate my fic, which is also fine. I know that many things in this world lack compassion, and I don’t spend years of my life writing fanfic about them. I think the reason I keep coming back is to me, the premise was unkind--which I was fine with, and then the text itself began to deconstruct itself--which I was overjoyed by. It made me fall in love with the series. But when the premise snapped back to an essentially black and white world, I felt betrayed.

In conclusion, I find HP at its very essence to be unkind. Ursula K Le Guin said it best when she said that it was “ethically rather mean-spirited.”

[rommahh]

Better

Word Count: 3.9K

Pairing: Buckybarnesxfem!reader

{This is for @metalbuckaroo's challenge. I had this brewing for a minute but college has got in a chokehold. I chose prompt #30 from the given prompt list. I hope y'all like this read. Love, R}

Bucky trailed behind Y/N as she ignored his calls. Her boots clicked loudly in the small hallway as she rushed towards their shared apartment. Her keys shook in her hand, body tense with anxiety and anger.

Bucky reached her at the door, his hands loosely gripping her arms. Y/N shoved the door open, her body snapping away from his. Y/N haphazardly throws her keys in the small bowl that sat on the hallway side table.

Her chest heaved with deep breaths as she tried to remain calm.

“Y/N please, what is going on? Why are you so mad?” Bucky questioned, slamming the door behind him as his own frustrations started to catch up with him.

“I'm going to bed.” Is all she said to him without even meeting his eyes. She was quick to enter her room and lock the door before he could say anymore. Bucky stood behind her door in confusion. His body still tingled with the lasting effects of the shots he took hours prior.

Sitting on your bed, Y/N finally released. Her shoulders dropped, her body hunching over itself as the tears started flowing.

Y/N had been looking for Bucky for what felt like hours. He was her ride back to the apartment and having been at this party for over four hours- she was exhausted. There was a twinge of disappointment that lingered in her caused by Bucky's disappearance. He invited her to this party tonight but quickly left her to her own devices the moment the both of them walked through the frat’s doors.

The house was mainly empty except for the few lingering bodies that were drunkenly wandering around. She climbed up the stairs that lead to a common room on the second floor. Y/N’s cute white go-go boots were tight on your feet, making her wince at every step. Fashion was a moment type thing, not a four hour long excursion.

Y/N heard a group of voices leading from the common room once you reached the top of the stairs. She listened out waiting to see if she could hear Bucky’s voice before walking through the doors of the common room.

“I don't know why you hang out with that girl Bucky.” Her ears perked at his name. Y/N almost walked through the door but she took a step back to listen to what they were saying.

“Yeah, shes fucking weird.” The group laughed. “I mean look at how she dressed tonight. She’s wearing a costume.”

Y/N looked down at her 80’s inspired dress with a frown. She thought she looked cute tonight, Bucky said she looked cute. She couldn't stop blushing after she heard his words.

“She’s a freak barnes. All she does is follow you around. Are you sure you guys aren't dating?” One of the boys asked with a chuckle. No one said her name yet but she knew they were talking about her. She could tell.

“Y/N’s not that bad. She just doesn't have any friends. I don't like her like that, not my type. She's got that weird anxiety thing.” Bucky's voice finally sounded out from the group. Y/N heart hurt hearing his words. Weird anxiety thing?

“Yeah, making her a freak. So you're just friends with her out of pity? Are you at least getting community service hours?” The group laughed again, Bucky's deep laugh standing out to Y/N.

“You have a lot of strength for a man who's not getting any ass from the girl he's keeping company with. Shes weird as fuck but her body is still bangin. Have you ever copped a feel of her tits? I would hang out with the loser if I got to fuck her too.” Someone commented. Y/N felt bile rise in her throat. She could feel a panic attack approaching having heard the sexual comments about her body. She stepped out from around the wall into the common room. All eyes snapped up to her, some eyes widening in shock. Bucky just looked up, not catching on that his roommate may have heard the horrid words said about her.

“I-im ready to go home, Bucky.” She hadn't looked up from where her feet were rooted on the stained wood floors. Bucky slowly wobbled up from his seat. The rest of the guys watching quietly, some snickering at Bucky's submissiveness.

“Here sweets, you're gonna have to drive.” Bucky says handing his keys over to Y/N. Without looking at him, she snatches the keys from his hands and quickly retreats to his car. Bucky stumbles behind her confused by her attitude.

Y/N walked to Bucky’s car, arms covering whatever they could cover on her body. Her mind telling her she was unsafe, her anxiety telling her even worse things.

Bucky eyes burned from the headache he had. He felt physically ill as he woke up from the living room couch. Last night's activities blur in his mind, no clear memories presenting themselves. He sits up to rest his forearms on his knees trying to calm his bubbling stomach.

The first thing he notices as he comes to his senses is the lack of Y/N’s noise. Normally the small apartment would be filled with the sounds of her sunday playlist as she cleans about. He also doesn't smell her extra dark and strong coffee that she only makes for sundays. He doesnt smell her out of the can cinnamon rolls either that she would normally wake him up with on a small tray with said coffee.

He finds it odd that her presence is lacking in the apartment. Standing, he makes his way over to her room knocking on it slightly. He hears shuffling from the other side but no one comes to open the door.

“Hey sweets, everything ok?” He knocks again to gain her attention.

“I-Im fine Bucky, please go away.” She stutters out to Bucky. Bucky is shocked by her statement not used to being pushed away by her.

“Oh ok, just let me know if you need anything.” He says quietly.

Y/N remained the same way over the next few days. She rarely came out of her room when she was in the apartment leaving Bucky on his own. She stopped making him meals out of kindness or filling up his canisters of water for workouts. She stopped baking him treats as midday pick me ups. She didnt wait for him to get out of classes so they could gossip about what was going on on campus. She didnt bother him at all.

Bucky felt uneasy about Y/N’s silence. He was hurt by her sudden disappearance. Hurt that she could just ghost him without any reason. But there was a reason, Bucky just didnt remember.

Y/N sluggishly walked into the apartment after taking an extensive exam in one of her classes. She tried to walk quietly throughout the apartment to not catch the attention of Bucky. She walks softly on her feet close to the opening of the kitchen.

“Hey.” A quiet voice makes Y/N jump in her spot. Her mission of going unnoticed failed. Bucky leans against the kitchen counter that is parallel to the opening of the kitchen. His feet are crossed in front of him, hands holding a cup of tea.

“Hi.” Her tone matches his. She turns her body to face his, hands fidgeting with each other. She slightly moved from foot to foot, a trait that had been acquired out of nerves. Bucky recognized her tic, his heart constricting at the thought that he might have done something to cause it.

“Y/N, please, what's going on?” Bucky can see that she's not wearing one of her normal outfits that are adorned in bright colors and fun patterns. Instead, her body is covered in a boring sweater that hides most of her body. She wears a large pair of jeans underneath, a belt tightly bounding it to her body.

“Nothing Bucky.” She dismisses. Bucky feels his anger peak. A range of emotion he tried to hide away breaching over its point. He missed his best friend beyond belief and all she could give was a few words.

“It's not nothing Y/N!” He snaps slamming his mug of tea on the counter. Y/N flinches at the sound. Her hands start to shake, not out of fear of Bucky but from unwarranted anxiousness. “I've given you your space but its killing me. I miss you Y/N. I dont get what happened?”

Y/N feels her eyes well up with tears.

“You hurt me Bucky.” It was Bucky’s turn to flinch hearing her words. He hurt her?

“I don't know what I did though.” His voice sounded childlike as he whined.

“At the party, you let your friends talk poorly about me. You-you let them call me a freak and-and weird. They made fun of my clothes and said you were hanging out with me out of pity and you just sat there and laughed James!” Her voice rose with every word. Bits and pieces of that night float around in his head. He can slightly remember the conversation but nothing is clearly showing in his head.

“I'm sorry they said that Y/N but you know that's not true. We both know our relationship, I don't know why you're letting them get to you.”

“They talked about my anxiety. You talked about my anxiety!”

“That's it? That's why you're not talking to me?” He exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

“You let them sexualize me!” The kitchen filled with an uncomfortable silence. Bucky’s exterior softened.

“What?” His tone was drastically softer than it was earlier.

“You just sat and listened to them as they talked about my body. They talked about my boobs and if youve had sex with me and you said nothing. They said that they would hang with the loser if they could fuck me...How could you let them say that about me?” Y/N whimpered. Her hands cradled her face as she sobbed. Bucky saw the way her chest heaved with each sob, tears forming in his own eyes.

“I didn't know. I wouldn't have let them say those things sober. You have to know that.” He almost fell to his knees pleading for her forgiveness.

“You even said you wouldn't date me. I know its stupid but I thought you liked me back. You told me you loved me. You've taken me out on dates. You've kissed me for goodness sake!”

“I know and I'm sorry. I do like you, I don't know why I said that. I like you so much.” His knees buckled slightly but he held his ground.

“Obviously you dont Bucky. We should just stay away from each other from now on and I won't be renewing my leasing contract at the end of the semester.” She finalizes. Buckys whispers a small no in protest. “You really hurt me, Bucky. I would never let anyone slander you. I respect you too much to allow for someone else to disrespect you.”

With that being said, she gave Bucky one last look over before walking away. Bucky was knocked out of his thoughts at the sound of her door slamming shut and the lock being secured.

Bucky sat on the kitchen floor, the cold tile seeping through his pants to chill his legs. His face adorned with a frown, tears sliding down his warm cheeks. Y/N was his best friend and he ruined it by being a shitty person. He knows he should have defended her, defended their relationship.

Bucky’s rolly chair was his only source of entertainment at his desk in the lobby of the admissions office. Today was a slow day. There were only a few students who came in asking for help finding buildings or looking for the financial aid office. Some high school student came in for tours but his coworkers beat him to doing tours so here he was stuck in the quiet office. He had already stolen a large amount of guest snacks, a cold bottle of tea and a sugar cookie with the school's logo on it.

His chair spinning activities came to a halt when he heard the front door open with a small jingle sounding from it. He took a moment to let the dizziness fade away before he looked up. Bucky felt his breath stop in his throat.

There stood a girl with overalls and a bright colored top. She wore dark green converse, high tops, with frilly socks that peeked from the top. She had large glasses that framed her face perfectly. She was looking around the office, eyes wide with wonder. Her eyes finally met Bucky's, making a large smile appear on her face.

“Hi!” She exclaimed walking up to Bucky’s desk.

“Hey, what can I help you with today?” Bucky asked cooly.

“I just transferred here and I was wondering if you knew where I could apply for on campus jobs?” She placed her hands on top of the counter of Bucky’s desk. He admired her baby blue acrylics that had white flowers on them.

“Oh um, the admissions office is hiring. We do all of the tours for highschool students, or package and mail acceptance letters. Sometimes we plan scholarship events. It's an easy pay type of job. I just sit here and do homework my whole shift.” Bucky answers. “What's your name so I can get my boss to contact you?”

“Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky quickly scribbled your name on a post it note and stuck it to his laptop as a reminder. “Do you really like this job or are you just trying to pull me in?” She jests with a small smile on her face.

“I mean it's a decent job but im sure with you working here it would make it ten times prettier.” Bucky smirked at the giggle that escaped Y/N. He wasn't normally a flirt but he couldn't help himself with this one.

“Oh really? How many times have you said that line to a girl?” Bucky put a hand to his chest in a fake offense.

“You think too low of me Y/N. I saved that one for the prettiest girl to walk through the door.”

“Hmm, ok. I'll believe it only because my ego needs this boost. Hey, you never told me your name. How am I supposed to write about this encounter in my journal if I don't have your name?”

“My name is James but I prefer if people just call me Bucky. Short for Buchanon, I know it's weird.” Bucky leans back in his chair, arms crossed. He can see her eyes checking out the way his muscles flex underneath his long sleeve shirt. He may have purposefully flexed a little extra for show.

“No, I love it. I dont think ive ever met a Bucky.” She counters. She leans forward, placing her elbows on the counter, her chest pressed against the front of the counter.

“Well I'm glad I'm your first Bucky.” He jokes with a small smile on his face. There was a small moment of silence shared between the two as they just looked at each other. Bucky couldn't help but think about how cute she was as Y/N thought the same thing.

“Oh gosh, I'm probably holding you up from your work.” She snaps out of her little spell rolling her eyes at herself. “I should get going.”

Bucky frowned at the idea of her leave, wanting nothing more than to continue talking to the new girl.

“Right, of course. Maybe I could get your number...so I can notify you about the job.” Bucky proposes. Y/N raises one eyebrow in question, a knowing smile placed on her lips.

“Sure thing bucky.” He hands her a pen and post it for her number. “I wouldn't be opposed to you using this number for things other than work too.” She suggested. She signed her name on the post it note ending it with a small heart.

“I will definitely take you up on that offer. No take backs though when I start sending you random shit.” She giggled, leaning up from her spot. Bucky basked at the sweet sound. He stood up to meet her on the other side of the desk.

“Well Bucky, it was lovely to meet you.” She stuck her hand out for him to shake, he reciprocated the action. Her hands were soft and warm, he thought. She gave him one last smile before walking away.

It was warm outside on the quad as Bucky sat by himself. He sat at the table that would normally be occupied by Y/N and him. Y/N would bring lunch- made by her. Anytime Bucky would try to help her by making lunch she would kick him out of the kitchen. Today, Bucky sat by himself, with no hand made lunch. He had a greasy bag of french fries and a large coke. He planned on eating his sorrows away.

“Hey Bucky!” A voice yelled out to him. Looking up from his fries, Bucky looked towards the sound that broke him out of his fries excursion. Tanner and Logan, his friends from the party, came walking over to him. They both sat down, throwing their lunch onto the table.

“Where's Ms. weirdo?” Tanner asks, mouth full of food. Bucky grimaced at Tanner's manners. He also felt the anger he should have felt on Saturday bloom in his chest.

“She's not weird.” Bucky snapped, fists tightening in his lap. Tanner scoffed, Logan laughing along with him.

“Says you. She is fucking weird. Did you finally get some from her or something? Defending her and shit.” Logan clapped Tanner on his back agreeing with him. “Shit, good for you dude. I would have fucked her a while ago. Probably would have kept her face down so I wouldn't have to see her-”

Before Tanner could finish his sentence, he was thrown from his seat from the powerful punch being landed on his jaw. His feet flew from where he was sitting, landing on his back with a heavy thud.

“Dude what the fuck?” Tanner stood wiping his face from the blood that started to trickle down from his bloody eyebrow. Bucky had never felt anger like this before. His heart was racing, his breathing labored. His cheeks were red and warm, eyebrows turned down.

“No, you don't get to make fun of her and make sexual comments about her.” Bucky snarled. Tanner rolled his eyes, walking closer to Bucky.

“Oh fuck off with that! You didn't defend her this hard on saturday.” Tanner's mistake after his words was shoving Bucky's shoulders back. Bucky reacted quickly by shoving Tanner with even more force.

Tanner threw a punch to Bucky’s jaw, making his head fly back. Bucky tackled Tanner to the ground, throwing punches left and right. Tanner fought back, hands flying landing punches wherever he could land them.

Logan was able to pull Bucky off of Tanner, warning the two that campus police would arrest them if they were caught. Both boys stared at each other fuming. Bucky snatched his trash and his backpack up, the scowl never leaving his face.

“If I ever see you looking or talking to Y/N, I will bash your face in.” Bucky growled.

Y/N felt better today. She found the strength to wear a cute outfit versus the oversized clothes she had been wearing prior out of fear. She didn't want anyone to look at her in any harmful way. She wanted to wear her cute outfits that were sometimes form fitting and short. She liked to wear her cute period pieces that had her own twist on them. She spent many years hating her body and the way she looked. She deserved to feel cute without thinking she is at fault for being sexualized and poorly treated.

She whipped out one of her favorite outfits today, loving the way it fit on her body making her feel confident. Sitting at the front desk of the admissions office, her feet propped up on the desk. Her shift was going by slowly, no one needing assistance this late in the day.

The door burst open making Y/N jump from her seat. She stood up shocked to see Bucky walk in with a huff. He wasn't supposed to work today but here he was. Y/N gasped looking at his cut lip and bruising eye.

“Bucky, what happened?” She maneuvered her way around the desk to stand in front of the beat up boy. She placed both of her hands on his cheeks to examine his injuries. He moved his face away from her tears brimming his eyes.

“I'm sorry Y/N. I'm really sorry. I should have protected you from them. I should've told them not to speak about you that way. You are more than some eye candy for men to act disgusting towards. You are beautiful and eclectic. You have a brilliant mind that shines brighter than anyone elses on this campus.” He spoke to her softly.

“I don't understand Bucky. What made you have this change of heart? You didn't give two shits about me last weekend.” She crossed her arms defensively.

“I know and I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe it was the alcohol but that's no excuse. I love you. I love all of you. You're not weird. You're your own person and I love everything about you. You do so much for me and I feel like shit for not doing the bare minimum for you.” His words stunned her.

“You love me?”

“God, with everything I have. Since the day you walked in here with those overalls. I've spent the past four years loving you.” Bucky whispered. He grabbed her hand, thumb rubbing over her knuckles.

“I love you too, Bucky.  I really do and I'm hurt. I don't think the hurt will go away for some time. You let them speak horribly about me. If you loved me like I was your girl, you would have defended me.” She spoke sorrowfully.

“I know, I know. I can't change the fact that I did nothing but I can tell you that I'm sorry. I'm always going to protect you. I did today. Tanner may be sporting a nasty goose egg on his eye because of his dumbass words.” Y/N giggled softly, touching his bruising knuckles.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

“I want to go back to normal. I miss you in the mornings and-and during our lunch breaks outside. I miss you.” Bucky stated.

“I miss you too.”

Bucky watched her eyes drop down to his lip, busted and all. He leaned forward slightly hoping she would meet him in the middle. She met him the rest of the way pressing her lips to his. Bucky relished this moment. He relished to be even sharing  moments with the girl he's been in love with since the second he saw her.

“I'm gonna be better, I promise.”

[tharedfish113]

I just had 2 ideas.

First idea:

KRBK FANTASY AU In which there is a "curse" upon the towns prince that he would trasforma in a monster on his 20th birthday unless he find his true love. This curse is made by the dragon king Riot, to the little Young prince EIjirou Kirishima, and so every year on his birthday there is a ball where all single ladys of the kingdom go to see if they are the true love of the PRINCE. Kirishima is tired of this tradition Since he doesnt know any of the se people and most of them are phony and try to be on the good side of his family, so on his 14 birthday he leave his party halfway through the ceremony, and for the first time, he sees the castle where he lives, alone in the halls he makes a tour. You see, since his curse was Made, his parents forced him to be inside of his room all day long, only letting him go out to transform on the nights or when Its absolutely necessary on políticals reunións with the counsil or representatives of other kingdoms. So on his first night out he could finally see all the hall, the paintings the history,nd no one was there to stop him all security put on the main hall and entrances, his eyes where wondering, amazed by the look of his home but his nose was tingiling, following a scent that watered his mouth, when he aproached it, he found the kitchen where there was a blonde Young man, spiky hair wrapped around a bandana, cooking a delicious meal.

So this is the idea.

Kirishima was "cursed" to be a monster but in reality, his mom had sex with the dragon king -his mom is not a good person- the dragon king, hearthbroken, tried to SAVE his child of being murdered by doing this whole curse discourse, obviously the king doesnt know about his wife scapades and believes in this curse since his child, with time, developed monstruos teeth and his hair began to change colours, skin with scales that shines like rubys. By decrete of the king, a ball was Made for his heir to chose his true love, not knowing that this will not change his son apparence.

Kirishima Eijirou, is tired of this ball, and on his scapades finds a grumpy chef that dreams and works to be a knight of the kingdom, he has strong magic, but lacks the right connections -his temper doesnt help- he thought that,now that he has access to the castle, it would be easier to be scouted for the knights watch, sadly, he didnt make those connections, and with money lacking, he has to work his ass as a chef, the only reason the other people of the kitchen doenst fire him Its because his food is the only food that the prince will eat, dragon taste buds being picky.

Kirishima now knows the face of the chef that Made his delicious meals, but the chef doesnt know him

-Do you know who I am?

-A Shitty haired bastard

EIjirou was amazed, nobody ever talked to him like that, usually the people who talked to him did it with fear or with overly respectful, but this was new.

He kind of liked it

-Let me guess, you are here for the ball, trying to find an elegible pretty woman and fuck her till you get heirs, right?

-I...what?! No, no, of course not-he said while blushing

-Well, whatever you are looking for, you are not going to find it on the kitchen, piss off

The redhead found amusing his way of talking and didnt want to leave, this was way more entretaining than the ball

-But, im hungry

-So? There is lots of food on the ball table, scram

Kirishima smiled

-You really dont know who I am

-Do you know who I AM?

-I mean, no but-

-Good, now leave, im working.

Kirishima just laughed

-I guess you are right, I mean, that doesnt look very tasty - he said while pointing at the food

-AH?! Ill show you tasty!!

An yada yada, they become friends, the reason bakugou doesnt recognizes Kiri Its cause in all paintings, kiri has dark hairand normal teeth, and now kiri has red hair and spiky teeth, which Its funny cause baku thinks sero is the prince.

Yada yada, baku believes kiri is a componer like him until he meets Kirishimas chambers and sees that he really is a noble man,a noble man and his best friend. And with that he asks if he could help him -on his bakugou way- to enter the knights.

KIRI doesnt have the heart to tell him who he really is,but stuff is Going to happen that will make him speak.

THIS is based on the sleeping beauty and cinderella concept.

There other idea that I have is based of the beauty and the beast concept

[sxngshine]

Phobia

• Pairing: Chan x reader

• Word Count: 4.26k+

• Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

• Warnings: a bit of drinking, car sex, oral(M receiving), unprotected sex(wrap it up), switch!reader, dom!Chan idk what else but don't read if you don't like smut.

• Summary:idk how to explain without spoiling shhsshhs just read it.

• Notes: This was a long overdue story dedicated to @braveshin djsjxs. I had it half done but then went ia but now I'm kinda back so here you go🤧🤧. This is my first full/complete smut so apologies for the lack of knowledge in that part lmao. Happy reading💞! [Edited but possible mistakes lemme know if I missed smtn]

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You hadn't seen him in ages. After you both confessed to each other you thought everything would be all rainbows and peaches between the two of you. And to be honest it was. But then there was just one issue, the both of you were super awkward when it came to intimacy.

You always had the regular kisses and hand holding and hugs like every other couple. But the issue was that neither of you tried to go father in fear that the other wouldn't like it or would be uncomfortable.

That was 2 years ago. Now the both of you live separate lives without each other. He had gotten his dream job as an artist, you saw him on TV quite a lot and it made you miss him even more.

You got your dream job as well, one that allowed you to travel a lot and on the side you were a well known content creator. People admired you for being able not only work through a super busy schedule, but also create original content for your viewers.

The both of you had tried maintaining a long distance relationship, but you felt like you were drifting away from him because of your busy schedules and being unable to talk. You had enough of it one day, missing him and hating that he was never around anymore.

In the end, you both decided to stay friends but lost contact with each other in a matter of months.

There were many regrets that you had, many things you wish you had said and done but it was too late now. You never even once told him that you loved him properly and you always wished you could go back in time to tell him.

After so long, you would think you'd finally be over him, but here you are sitting in a club drinking your problems away.

You didn't really want to be here, you were on break for a few days and wanted to mope around your apartment after seeing him perform his newest album , but your friend dragged you here with a hope of loosening you up and after getting you to drink 6 shots of whatever concoction she stirred up, it started to work.

You didn't drink too much though, enough to get your mind off of things but not enough to be super hungover the next day.

You expected the night to go by with you sitting alone with your glass of whatever your friends gave you as you watched your people dance too close too each other.

What you didn't expect though, was to see him walk through the door. You were beyond shocked, what's he doing here?

It looked like his old group of friends dragged him here. You watched him discretely -or at least tried to- as he looked around the place with clear distaste in his eyes, wanting to be anywhere else except here. But the moment his eyes met yours, all those thought flew out of his head like they were never there in the first place. Your eyes widened and it was like time had stopped.

The harsh music in the background was nonexistent at this point and the other people disappeared. It was just you and him. His friends went to go find a vacant table but he made his way over to you instead.

You looked away and prayed he wouldn't come over but it was useless because in a matter of moments, you were faced to face with the one and only person you were trying to forget about.

"Y/N? Is it really you?" He asked, clear surprise in his eyes.

"Hey... Chan," you greeted, smiling nervously as you looked anywhere but his eyes.

"How're you? I haven't seen you for so long I almost didnt recognize you! You look so different," He exclaimed.

It was true, you completely changed your look after the both of you lost touch. Your once short hair was now at your waist, the once all black and baggy wardrobe was replaced with bright, slightly more fitting clothes (you were quite sad but you loved your new clothes so it was okay). You held yourself high with confidence which was foreign to him because you were normally so shy.

His eyes raked over your outfit, you wore a tight sparkly navy blue dress that ended mid thigh. Your shoulders and collarbones bare due to the skinny straps and low neck.

You couldn't help but look him over as well. He was clad in black ripped skinny jeans and a black tshirt, blonde hair untamed on his head. His chains sparkled under the flashy lights of the club and his leather jacket was doing his arms wonders. In other words, he looked hot. But you couldn't just say that.

After shamelessly checking each other out for a solid 2 minutes Chan cleared his throat.

"So uh, mind if I sit down?" He asked, giving you a small smile in which you returned with a nod.

The both of you started catching up, talking about your accomplishments and old memories you shared. You wanted to get some fresh air after a bit so the both of you grabbed your things and walked outside, the cool air sending pleasant shivers up your spine. You strolled down to the parking lot and Chan offered to drive you around in his car which you accepted.

"If you don't mind, can I take you somewhere?" He asked, after a few moments silence.

You nodded and Chan drove you both to wherever he wanted to take you. Fifteen minutes later the both of you arrived at a cliff that overlooked the city.

You remembered it being a place you and Chan visited often during the night, the city sparkling under you as the both of you goofed around. You had made many memories here.

"You still remember this place?" You asked, getting out of the car and walked over to the edge, leaning against the railing. "I haven't been here in ages!"

"How could I forgot? This was an important place to me." He answered, coming up beside you, looking over at the city illuminated by thousands of lights.

Then a silence fell upon the two of you. You didn't feel the need to say anything, just enjoying the silence and the distant buzz of the city. It was... comforting.

"I missed you Channie, I missed you a lot." You said out of nowhere. You weren't looking at him, but you could tell he was looking at you. The alcohol was getting to you but you didn't mind, needing the extra confidence.

"Ever since you left, I started regretting not doing so many things. I never got to tell you how much you meant to me, how important you were. I wish I could've told you how much I loved you and cared about you. How I never actually wanted to break up and how broken I became when we did," you felt tears form in your eyes as you poured your heart out to him.

"I said I was doing great before but I lied, I spent a good month locked in my room just crying. I was such a mess and then we just stopped talking and my whole world just broke apart and I just-" your voice cracked as tears now fell freely down your cheeks. You bent down and buried your face in your hands, sobbing hard.

Chan was so caught off guard with your confession, but he knew right now wasn't the time for him to be acting like that. He bent down beside you and pulled you into a hug, allowing you to cry as much as you needed while he rubbed your back.

When he felt like you had mostly calmed down, your hard sobs turning into small sniffles and hiccups, he released you from the hug.

"Y/N, look at me," he said, his hand coming towards your face. You reluctantly looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy with mascara running down your cheeks.

"When I left, it took everything in me not to just drop everything and stay. I was in a terrible state when we broke up, my members kept saying I looked like a literal zombie. There were so many times where I was gonna call you but backed away cause I thought you wouldn't want to talk anymore," he admitted.

"R-really?" You stuttered, trying to even out your breathing.

Chan nodded, his eyes flickering to your lips before going back to your eyes.

"Can I-" Chan tried to say but was cut off by your lips smashing into his. He wasn't prepared for it and fell back from the force, pebbles digging into his palms.

But Chan could care less, the only thing on his mind was how soft your lips felt against his. All that built up tension between the two of you had resurfaced and neither one of you were going to stop till you were relieved.

The both of you pull away after a long heated kiss, looking deeply into each others eyes.

"Wanna continue at my place?" Chan asked, breathing heavily. You shook your head and moved off of him.

"That'll take too long and I'm not in the mood for waiting." You said, standing up before lending him a hand.

Chan was surprised by your response but it turned him in even more. "Car?" He asked, taking your hand.

You nodded and dragged him to the back seat of his car, opening the door before pushing him in gently. Once he was in you climbed in after him and closed the door.

Wasting no time, you crawled onto his lap and cupped his cheeks. "Are you okay with this?" He whispered.

You nodded, whispering a small yes and kissed him again, your lips moulding together in perfect sync. You both of you have shared kisses before, but they were only light pecks, nothing more than that. If you knew kissing Chan would feel like this you would've done this a lot earlier.

Chans hands, which rested on your waist started travelling south to your ass and squeezed. You gasped into the kiss and he used the opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth.

He moaned as his tongue explored your wet and warm cavern, your tongues swirling around in unison. Chan lowered you onto the seat, hovering over you as he groped your ass.

Your arms were tightly wrapped around his neck, fingers pulling at his hair. You were in such a euphoric state you didn't realize that Chans hands had left your ass and were now removing the straps of your dress.

He moved to sit up so that he could see your half naked body, dress pooled at your hips and everything else exposed for his eyes to take in and admire. "Fuck you look so gorgeous.." Chan cursed before diving into your neck, leaving dark bruises all over your throat and collar bones.

"Chan.... take it off," you mumbled, pulling on his jacket as he attacked your neck. "I don't want to be the only nude one here,"

Chan quickly sat up and began removing his jacket, throwing it to some random corner in his car. He had been distracted trying to remove his shirt, and you took the opportunity to switch things around.

Before Chan could process what was happening, you had flipped him over onto the seat and straddled his legs, looking down at him with a mischievous smirk as you ran your nails down his solid abs, causing a shiver to run up his spine.

"What're you-" he tried to protest but you shushed him by placing your finger to his lips.

"I may have seemed like I'd submit to you before , but that's not the case here baby boy. I can dom quite well too," you winked at him, licking your lips at you took in his smooth pale skin and hard muscle. "Let me show you how much I love you too,"

You're head sunk down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. "Just relax and let me do the work," you whispered into his ear.

Chan decided to obey your wish for now, wanting to see where this would go. He was becoming harder every passing second as he felt your hand trace his abs and your mouth do wonders to his neck and chest, leaving hickeys all over.

You ground your clothed heat against his covered crotch and it was driving Chan crazy. "Quit teasing me and take it off already," he rasped.

You smirked and moved away from him. "Yes sir," you whispered, softly grinding your hips to his as you took your time unbuckling his belt. Chan had about enough of your teasing and quickly sat up, pushing you down onto the seat once again.

He glared at you as he quickly pulled down his pants, bringing his boxers down with it and brought a little relief to his rock hard cock.

You gawked at how large it was and Chan sat down on the seat, legs spread. "Put that pretty mouth to use babygirl," he demanded.

You knew exactly what he wanted and moved to first remove your dress off your hips, leaving you in just your panties. Grabbing his red and hard cock, you pumped it a few times before pressing a soft kiss to the angry red tip, eliciting a moan from Chan's mouth.

You licked a stripe from the base of his shaft back to his tip before taking it into your mouth. Chans fingers threaded into your hair and held the strands tight, pushing you all the way down his dick so your nose was touching his pelvis. Chan let out a loud groan, tip hitting the back of your throat as he pulled it out then back down your throat.

You felt tears prick your eyes has Chan showed no mercy to your throat. Your scalp was sore from the vice grip he had on your hair but you liked it, feeling your core become wetter than it was before.

You felt Chan twitch in your mouth but he pulled you off before he could come, hissing to himself as he held his orgasm in. When he felt as if he could continue without cumming with one touch he quickly motioned you to lay down once again

"You can show me how much you love me some other time babygirl, but right now I'm in charge," Chan said, hovering over your body once again.

His lips attached to your breast, rolling his tongue over the hard bud as his fingers hooked around your panties. He removed his lips from you at ask you for permission which you nodded to.

Instantly his mouth returned to working its magic on your nipples as he pulled your panties down your legs. He dropped them onto the floor, fingers slowly caressing up from your calves to your thighs, ghosting where you needed him the most.

He switched to your other nipple, once again ghosting over your core and you let out a small whimper. "Chan.. please I need you," you whined.

"I don't know... I'm having fun teasing you like this," Chan mused, moving his head away from your chest. He finally looked down at your core and smirked widely.

"Look at how wet you are babygirl, and I still have yet to touch you there," Chan's pride had gone through the roof, pleased that he could make you feel this way.

Finally showing you some mercy, he rubbed his fingers against your core, cause you to moan and buck your hips against his fingers, trying to get more friction.

Chan held your hips down with one hand while the other collected your wetness on his fingers, dipping in into your entrance. You let out a gasp as you felt his finger push inside you, not used the feeling.

"Goddamn Y/N, I only put in one finger but your still so tight," chan groaned, pumping his finger in and out of you before slipping in another one.

You moaned, bucking your hips against his fingers. You were so lost in trying to reach your high you didn't realize Chan stopped moving his fingers.

"Shit- that was so hot." Chan cursed. That's when you realized he wasn't moving. Your eyes snapped open and looked into his dark ones already staring hard at you.

"Do you like fucking yourself on my fingers? Does it make you feel good?" He asked, pulling his fingers out of you.

You whined, feeling your orgasm slipping away each second he wasn't touching you.

"When I ask a question I expect an answer babygirl," Chan demanded.

"Yes! Yes I do," you replied quickly, hoping he'd start doing something again.

"Do you want my fingers to make you come?" He smirked, his wet fingers lightly rubbing your folds.

"N-no! Please Chan I need you," you cried out when he pressed his fingers on your sensitive bud.

"What do you need babygirl? Tell me," he continued teasing you, fingers circling your entrance.

"I want you to fuck me please," you whimpered, hips twitching from his agonizingly slow movements.

"You'll need to do better than that," he retorted, stopping his actions.

"I-I want you to fuck my pussy with your cock Chan- hnmf!" You tried to say but were cut off by Chans fingers being pushed into your mouth. You instinctively swirled your tongue around his fingers, sucking your essence off his fingers.

"Such a good girl..." he muttered, taking his finger out of your mouth. He lined himself at your entrance before cursing under his breath.

"Can I go in raw? I don't have a condom on me.." Chsn asked, looking at you for permission.

"I'm on birth control, it's okay," you confirmed. Your heart swelled at how he still asked you for consent rather than just going in for it.

Chan didn't waste another second, slowly pushing his head into your throbbing pussy.

"Fuck..." you both moaned. Chan slowly eased his way into you, giving you time to adjust to his thick length stretching you out deliciously.

Your jaw fell slack when he bottomed out, feeling so full with him completely inside you. He gave you a second to adjust before drawing out of you almost completely and then pushing in again, setting a slow pace with deep thrusts.

You couldn't do anything but moan, fingers clutching Chans biceps as he lowered his head back to your chest.

"Chan.. harder.. go.. harder," you panted, letting out a loud moan when he did just that.

Both of you were lost in a euphoric state, trying to chase your own highs. You felt a knot like feeling in your stomach, one that was growing tighter and tighter with each hard and deep thrust Chan gave you.

"I-I'm so close," you cried when Chan hit a particular spot that really had you screaming.

"Cum baby," Chan whispered in your ear. And that's all it took for that tight knot to come undone.

You moaned Chans name as you came all over his cock, walls clenching around him so tight that it had him shooting his hot seed deep into your womb.

Chan help both of you rode out your highs, but didn't pull out just yet. You could feel him becoming soft inside of you.

"That was amazing..." you panted lightly, a smile gracing your face. Chan stared down at you, nodding his head in agreement.

He slowly pulled out of you, cum dripping from your pussy to your ass. Chan quickly grabbed a box of tissues from the back and cleaned the both of you up.

You sat up and pulled your dress back on, not liking how quiet Chan was being.

"Chan? Are you okay?" You asked. Chan's head snapped up, turning to you.

"What- oh uh.. yeah I'm okay," he said, but you were unconvinced.

"Come on, tell me what's wrong?" You pressed. Chan just sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I-I feel like I this was a mistake. I spent so long trying to get over you. I thought I was while I was overseas but then I was pulled to that stupid club and saw you. And all that time I spent getting over you went down the drain just like that. And to makes things worse, I just fucked you!" Chan admitted, frustrated he ruffled his hair aggressively.

You felt your heart shatter. He thought this was a mistake...? You swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears from forming.

"Y-you think what we did just now was a mistake?" You asked, voice cracking slightly.

Chan realized what he said and instantly started denying it. "No no no, I don't! It's just that, we spent so long getting over each other, you yourself said you're not over me. And i just made it worse for you,"

"I don't regret it Chan." You stated, looking at him with glassy eyes. "Everything that just happened, I don't regret any of it."

Chan looked at you sadly, pulling you into a hug. You buried your face into his shirt, feeling a few tears come out of your eyes and soak his shirt.

"Chan, if you could, would you date me again?" You mumbled, feeling kind of drowsy.

"Definitely. I wouldn't hesitate to ask you again," Chan answered. You thought for a second before replying.

"Then why aren't you saying anything now?" You ask. Chans brows knit together in confusion. He sits you up straight and looks into your eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's holding us back from dating now?" You asked, looking right back into his eyes.

"Y/n... I'm gonna be travelling a lot. I'm only here for the week then I'm going to be going on tour for the next 2 or 3 months. We'd never work out. The same thing that happened before will happen again and I can't go through another heartbreak." Chan said dejectedly.

"I-I'll wait for you Chan, I swear. No matter how long it takes. I was selfish before and only thought of myself. I'm more open minded now, I don't mind waiting. Just please don't leave me again." You pleaded, hands clutching his shirt.

Chan felt his own tears forming, a small smile forming on his face. He cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears from your face.

"Are you sure? You'd have to be very patient with me then. I won't be able to text often, I'll be out of town at least 3 times a week, I won't always answer your calls. I'll be tired and unable to take you out on proper dates most of the time, they'd be pretty rare. Do you think you'll be able to handle all that." He asked, resting his forehead against yours.

"I'll be as patient as I possibly can. No matter how tired you are, or how far away you are or how busy you are. No matter what mood you're in. I'll support you however I can and be as understanding as possible. I promise." You answered, a smile forming on your face as well.

"Well then L/n Y/n, will you be my girlfriend... again?" Chan asked, giggling a little. Your smile turned into a grin and you kissed Chan softly.

"Does that answer your question?" You asked after pulling away. Chan pecked your forehead and nodded.

****

Chan was driving you home, not realizing how late it had gotten. He held your hand in his while keeping the other on the wheel, refusing to let go when you told him to keep both hands on the wheel.

You and Chan caught up along the way, with Chan talking about his music and future albums and you talking about your life as a content creator and your job. Chan, much to your dismay confessed to watching your videos when he was bored or too lazy to continue working, claiming that your videos were very entertaining and creative.

"The way you were trying to get dress coded at work had me laughing like crazy!" Chan exclaimed, stilling laughing while imitating how happy you were when you finally did get dress coded.

"Everyone's worn that shirt at least once! I was determined to wear it as well. Besides you gotta break the rules every now and then," you winked, giggling right after.

The both of you were silent for a little while, simply enjoying each others presence before you accidentally snorted out loud. Chan glanced you with an eyebrow raised. "What was that?"

"Sorry," you giggled, a faint blush on your face out of embarrassment. "I was just thinking about everything that happened. We did everything in the wrong order. You were supposed to asked me out first, take me in a date and then we'd get to the fucking stage. But we went straight to fucking then you asked me out."

"We're unique. We don't follow the rules." Chan laughed. "By the way, I'll take you on a date tomorrow."

You snorted again, loving how messed up your sequence was. "Okay, I can't wait."

And from then on you and Chan found yourselves living your best lives with each other. Nothing like the first relationship you had. Rather than showing a lack of affection and communication like before, you were much more the opposite. And that's exactly how you'd perfer it to be.

Fin.

-------------------------------------------------------

Should I make an alternate ending or a part 2👀? I kinda wanna make y'all cry jdsjka.

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[consumeconstantly]

Small Buff Girl Sightings Ch. 5

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ao3

3:00AM | CoffeeVamp: bb bat update us TheOG: ^^ more info on the situation in paris

3:28AM | Demonspawn: It is difficult to obtain information on Hawkmoth. The butterflies disperse after they are cleansed, and before they land their target, they don’t show up electronically.  Coffee Vamp: o how the mighty have fallen i thought u said u could best me bb boi

3:42AM | Demonspawn: I’d like to see you do better. Coffee Vamp: IS THAT A CHALLENGE Coffee Vamp: ill take u up on that gimme 24 hours and ur going down TheOG: he has had a whole month so dont be too sure of that LadyLady: would you guys SHUT UP its two and some of us have jobs to do Coffee Vamp: cmon babs u luv us dont deny it LadyLady: Don’t make me hunt you down, Tim. Coffee Vamp: oOooO proper punctuation im shaking TheOG: just shut off notifications Babs TheOG: Bruce does Jesus: i don’t think the man has checked this chat in years Coffee Vamp: wdym brucie checks the chat all the time hes just a silent lurker Coffee Vamp: he doesnt even set himself to invisible

3:57AM | Daddy is away. Coffee Vamp: im so glad i have admin privileges imagine if i didnt bruce would have a boring normal nickname like his actual name LadyLady: good lord, why am I even in this chat?? Daddy: You’re supposed to keep them under control. Coffee Vamp: SEE I TOLD U BRUCE IS A SILENT LURKER> THIS. IS. SOLID. PROOF. IN YOUR FACE TheOG: nobody said otherwise Coffee Vamp: also how are the people have you made friends Jesus: Demon spawn? Making friends? Id be less surprised if he told us he has a new fling Coffee Vamp: is j right? Got a winter fling? 

4:12AM | Coffee Vamp: ur lack of a response tells us nothing  TheOG: im sure he’s just adopted his usual icy persona Coffee Vamp: haha hes the bb of so many things Coffee Vamp: bb vamp bb demon spawn ice ice bb Coffee Vamp: getitt im so funny

4:36AM | Coffee Vamp: guys?

“I told you I could get her to write her number on your cup,” Marinette grins with pride.

“And I told you I didn’t want her to.” Damian scowls and kicks a pebble in his path.

“You’re still wearing the clothes I picked out for you,” she points out.

“You told me to wear it. I wore it. I’m not interested in her.” 

Marinette squints at Damian, evaluates whether he’s telling the truth or not. “Huh, you really aren’t interested. I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t wear the other outfit I picked out for you-- that one would have gotten her to ask you out on the spot.”

Damian groans. “We’re going to have to find a new coffee place.”

“Or we could just come when she’s not on shift and run away like mice when we do see her?”

Damian gives her The Look.

“But they have good coffee here,” Marinette whines.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before dressing me up and sending me to my death.”

“It’s not my fault! You only have your parents to blame for your looks.”

It’s true; both of Damian’s parents are good-looking. His whole family is, actually, adopted or not. All of the good looking people he meets are talented and have a tragic life story. Which is the cause and which is the effect, Damian isn’t sure. But it holds true even in Paris. All he has to do is look at Marinette or Adrien, though he’s not a hundred percent sure where the tragedy kicks in for Marinette. Probably the time when she was at odds with Lila, but he hasn’t looked much into the situation. He can even use Lila Rossi as an example. She has even worse color coordination than Damian is, but her features are model worthy. Lila Rossi is also definitely fucked up in ways that Damian doesn’t care to explore.

The effects of Marinette’s well-placed compliments has Damian thinking about himself in a positive manner that he never has before. Bruce is always stingy with praise, and the other senior members of the Justice League of America see him as another Robin that doesn’t need praise because competency comes with the mantle. Dick and Barbara compliment him occasionally, but that’s rarer now that his place is more firmly cemented in the family. Damian doesn’t think he’s ever had someone so willing to genuinely compliment him. Marinette’s compliments extend to more than just his looks, as well. She praises his technological skills as he sets up her website and has complimented him as he helps her out with whatever altercations she inevitably comes across on the streets. If he reveals his skills as Robin, reveals himself as Damian Wayne, will he receive even more praise?

“But since we did buy you that absolute knockout of an outfit, you’re going to have to wear it eventually. So whose heart do you want to steal?”

“I don’t want a relationship,” Damian repeats. They seem like more effort than they’re worth, and he always sees couples fighting and complaining about each other. Plus, they have to make time for each other and his alter ego doesn’t allow for that, though he supposes that he isn't Robin. At least, not right now.

“You don’t need to want a relationship just to flirt with somebody. Who’s it going to be? The intern at the Louvre? My parent’s newest hire? Oooh, how about Nicolette?” Marinette’s voice takes on a more mischievous tone. 

Damian will give Marinette this much: her taste in the aesthetics of people is far from bad. The intern from the Louvre is two hundred pounds of lean muscle with a devil-may-care smile and a deep, belly laugh that makes people laugh with him, but Damian and he don’t have anything in common. Her parent’s new hire is knockout gorgeous, with warm brown eyes, and definitely the kind of girl Damian would have gone for as a one night stand back in Gotham. However, he’s also 98% sure that she has a very possessive boyfriend who stops by the bakery every time she has a shift. Nicolette is considered her college’s belle, and her intense gaze paired with her surprisingly friendly demeanor might have been appealing to Damian if she weren’t ten years older than him. 

“I’m not into any of them,” he says, simply.

“Then who are you into? Surely someone has caught your eye in the past month?” Marinette looks genuinely curious, but her expression shifts into horror. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I never asked your preferences, if I was being insensitive, I’m sorry, I mean I’m pan, but you absolutely don’t have to tell me, it’s your right if you’re not comfortable.”

Damian does look slightly uncomfortable now that she’s looking at him more closely. His arms are crossed over each other, across his chest, and his hair is tousled. Then, he lets out a small laugh, and Marinette melts. “It’s fine, Pigtails. All of the people you listed are attractive, but I’m not attracted to them. I’m more of a personality guy, though I can’t say that personality has stopped me from things more than dates before.”

He’s had his fair share of hook-ups and makeout sessions in the past when feeling particularly frustrated with something that wasn’t going his way, though his primary method of relief is through sparring. Short missions and one night stands go fairly well together; he doesn’t ever have to deal with people wanting long term relationships, and even if they do, he’s gone before they know it. So far, he hasn’t hooked up with anyone in Paris, but then again, he’s only been here for a month and this is a long term mission. Whatever time he’s not with Marinette or at school is dedicated to piecing together the mystery that is the Miraculous and trying to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity. 

“Oh,” Marinette continues to blush.

She’s clearly too embarrassed to bring up any other topic, so Damian decides that he’ll shoot the same conversation topic back at her. Marinette is attractive, and people she meets ask for her numbers and dates often enough. She’ll accept the former if they aren’t a total creep, but she always turns down requests for dates.

“And you? Why aren’t you out there questing for love? No crushes or significant others that I need to beat off with a stick?”

This does manage to lessen her flush. She frowns, turns something over in her mind. 

“No crushes right now, no. I used to have a huge crush on Adrien just a year ago. He’s such a sweet person, but we don’t see eye to eye on important matters.” And also not into sex, either. Even physical affection hits him the wrong way sometimes, which makes Marinette worry even further for his well being with Lila’s constant touches. Still, he hasn’t said anything, and Lila hasn’t done anything more than grasp his arm or shoulders every now and then, to reassure the class that yes, they are the golden couple. Marinette also suspects that he is very unwilling to talk about the whole situation in general, and it’s not as though they’re super close.

Of course she had a crush on Adrien. Damian can see it now, Marinette looking at Adrien with her big blue eyes, her lashes fluttering when she gets close to him. Stuttering when she gets embarrassed or when she gets close to him. It makes his lungs constrict, but he’s not sure why.

“As for past relationships, there’s only really Luka. We had a pretty good run, but he’s out of the country, touring. He wanted to try long distance, but I didn’t really want that. But he’s respectful-- there’s no need to beat him off with a stick or anything.”

“I’m surprised a pretty girl like you doesn’t have more suitors,” Damian says, stepping over a crack in the sidewalk as they walk towards the park.

Marinette gags. “There are some other people who have been interested, but I wouldn’t exactly consider them relationship material. If you’re going after a girl just because she looks exotic, that’s sort of nasty. I guess I’m just unlucky in love.”

“At least you’re not as bad off as Ladybug is,” Damian jokes.

She looks at him strangely. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, first there was that creepy sculptor who must have been twice her age, then there’s Chat Noir who keeps flirting with her despite her requests not to, plus all of the random love akumas. I’m not even going to talk about the hordes of guys who chase after her, trying to get a date just because she’s a superhero. It’s not even like she can kick them between the legs because she has an image to uphold and all that.” He smirks, nudges her with his arm. “I’m surprised you haven’t done that with some of your stalkers.”

“Oh. You’re right, huh. Though, I don’t think Chat Noir has actually flirted for a while now.”  Chat Noir has been very subdued as of late, and it makes Ladybug worry.

Marinette feels uncomfortable with the way the conversation has shifted. How does Damian know about all of these past akuma attacks? As far as Marinette is aware, most information about anything Miraculous related is difficult to get a hold of abroad, largely because the Miraculous try to hide their existence as best they can, and partially because Mayor Bourgeois doesn’t want word to get out that he hasn’t flushed a supervillain terrorist out even though he’s had three years to do it.

“Copycat happened three years ago.” It’s a question, almost.

“I figure I might as well keep up with the heroes of Paris. I’m here and they’re interesting.” Damian figures this is as good a time as any to bring up his interest in Hawkmoth. Marinette has been nothing but helpful and she’s definitely the kind of person whose heart is in the right place. Not to mention that she’s definitely smart and seems impartial; the one time he asked her about her thoughts on the heroes, he found out that she didn’t see them as perfect. She was able to critique Ladybug in full, which seemed pretty odd considering the rest of Paris seemed to have nothing but glowing praise for the heroine. “You’ve had some awful luck with akumas yourself. Weird how Ladybug didn’t show up when you got kidnapped by Evillustrator. One of the only times she didn’t show up for an akuma.”

“And what happened to the other heroes? It’s mostly Ladybug now. She must be in an awful state with her civilian life.” He looks off to the park, occasionally flicking his attention back Marinette’s face, evaluating her expression.

She catches his eyes and he swiftly looks away, looking almost nervous. Marinette stiffens. He knows, he knows, he knows, he can’t know. But how? How does he know that she’s Ladybug? She hasn’t let anything slip around him. She's been careful not to. Everything she’s ever said about Ladybug has been brief and curt, taking on an almost angry tone.

“If you’re so interested in Parisian heroes, I’m sure you saw the press conference Ladybug and Chat Noir gave last year about why the other heroes would be showing up less often.” Marinette keeps her voice carefully neutral. She needs to play this safe. She’s probably over reacting-- she’s been on edge with Hawkmoth sending out an akuma attack nearly every single day for the past few months.

Damian shakes his head. “It didn’t seem like good reasoning. Ladybug and Chat Noir are too untrained. They haven’t beat two villains in three years. They should let someone else take over.” 

Marinette has come across a good number of Ladybug and Chat Noir haters throughout her time. Those who dislike the Parisian heroes often make the exact same arguments Damian is now. That they’re not fast enough. That they should have taken down Hawkmoth and Mayura already. This is nothing new to her, though it does hurt hearing it from Damian, for some reason. She can’t even argue with most of the points he’s brought up. Going mostly solo was because of her own, selfish reasons. She really should have beaten Hawkmoth and Mayura by now. 

“The only thing they have going for them right now is that they’re keeping their Miraculous out of Hawkmoth’s hands.” She pretends that the reason why Chat Noir doesn’t show up to battle is to ensure that Hawkmoth can’t get both of the Miraculous in one fell swoop. It feels hopeless to fight villain after villain without any movement forwards. Her mind wanders to the increasing frequency of akumas and smiles, sardonically. “Some people think it’s only a matter of time until Ladybug and Chat Noir lose.”

“Hawkmoth almost seems to be the better strategist.” The two of them pass store front after store front. “Do you ever wonder what they look like, under the mask? Who they are?”

Marinette stares at the concrete underneath her feet. Hawkmoth, the better strategist? Laughable, and entirely incorrect. Even the people who hate Ladybug admit that her plans almost always work out, and that her plans are second to none. Really the only person who can possibly think that Hawkmoth is a better strategist is--

She can’t think like that. Damian is her friend. He’s just curious about Paris. Her lack of sleep and increase in paranoia re making her imagine things that are impossible. Besides, Damian isn’t on her list of suspects-- he told her he’s only been here for a short time, and Hawkmoth’s Miraculous definitely has a limited range. It’s a real pity that the world of Miraculous makes concrete evidence hard to come by, otherwise, Marinette likes to think Hawkmoth would have been behind bars already. 

“No,” she lies. Hawkmoth haunts her dreams and every waking hour. She spends hours and hours on theories and scouring out information and people who fit the clues she’s painstakingly pieced together. “Not really.”

Damian’s eyes are a piercing green, and for a moment, Marinette thinks she stops breathing. “Is that so? I’m really interested in who Ladybug is under the mask. I’d love the opportunity to talk to her in person, especially about her Miraculous. The powers she has are… very interesting.”

No. There’s no way that Damian can be Hawkmoth, right? This is all just her paranoia speaking. Damian is just a foreigner who is interested in super heroes. It’s no biggie. Still, she can’t shake off the idea that there’s more to Damian than meets the eye. The way he walks-- no, prowls-- commands respect. Marinette can tell that he knows how to fight, and knows how to fight well. He’s very good at finding information on people-- she sent a whole case file to her on Renee and his situation with his mother within twenty four hours of going into the precinct, complete with video evidence Marinette knows should have been impossible to procure without hacking-- and keeps up with her critiques on Ladybug and Chat Noir’s techniques like he’s watched their battles over and over again. He remembers akuma battles Marinette has half forgotten, because they happened so long ago.

She stares up at him, hands shoved in the pockets of the jacket she chose for him when they went on their wardrobe makeover. Damian is surprisingly wealthy; he purchased anything she even glanced at with passing approval. He looks straight forward, apparently waiting for some response from her. Just because Damian is her friend, doesn’t mean she can immediately expunge him from her list of suspects. So far, she has taken all of Damian’s words at face value. It didn’t matter to her that he rarely talks about his family or his life before Paris. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t brought her to his home during all of the weeks that they’ve been hanging out together. Really, Marinette just figured that he had a rocky relationship with his family, and that he may have been on the poorer side and was embarrassed to show her where he lived. But clearly. Damian is well off enough to afford brand name clothes without batting an eye. Things aren’t adding up. All of the red flags that she’s blatantly ignored start to crop up in her head.

The book on the species of butterflies that akumas are made of, tucked under his arm. The way he showed up after every single akuma attack when she rarely saw him in the area before or during it. His knowledge of the three languages that form the basis of the Miraculous Tome-- Mandarin, Arabic, and English.

If he is Hawkmoth, what sort of emotions would he be feeling right now? Some sort of euphoria, maybe, realizing that he could get infinitely closer to Ladybug when she is Marinette. Anticipation, too. Has Marinette been hanging out with a super villain for the past month? Has she really come to the point where she can call a supervillain her best friend?

Marinette takes another look at Damian’s outfit. Master Fu said that the Miraculous Hawkmoth owns is in the shape of a brooch. Marinette sees no such object on Damian, which could either mean that he’s not Hawkmoth or that he’s just been taking it off whenever he’s with her. She’s really hoping it’s not the second option.

She needs to gather her thoughts, make a plan on how to proceed. When she’s sure that Damian isn’t looking, Marinette sets off the ringtone that is saved for her Maman’s texts and calls. This catches Damian’s attention, and she waves looks up from her phone as though she’s responding. 

“Maman wants me to do a delivery. If you’re looking for more information on the whole superhero situation in Paris, I can get you Alya’s number. She runs the Ladyblog-- I’m sure she’d be glad to talk with you.” Alya also has some of the worst conspiracy theories that Marinette has ever seen. She doesn’t often keep abreast of what the Ladyblog’s portrayal of Ladybug is, but back when Marinette and Alya were friends, she was subjected to wild theories that made her stomach nauseous with how little logic there was. Which means that if-- if-- Damian is actually Hawkmoth, he might be thrown off by what she says.

“I’ll see you on Monday? Jagged texted me last night and wants me to change the embroidery on his commission.” This isn’t exactly a lie; Jagged wants one of the smaller details to be changed, but it certainly won’t take as long as she’s suggesting. Marinette hopes that it’s enough of an excuse to get Damian off her back for the rest of today and tomorrow while she reevaluates her game plans and life choices. 

Damian waves her off. “I don’t think that Ladyblogger girl knows anymore than I do. She’s of no help to me. I’ll see you on Monday.”

#

Marinette’s reaction to Damian’s questions are weird. There’s an underlying tension that she exuded before they parted ways, and he’s still thinking about it a day later.

Marinette, who he always finds near an akuma attack right after it occurs. Marinette, who is emotionally and physically superior to most other Parisians. Marinette, who hasn’t been akumatized in a class full of idiots and other victims. Marinette, who doesn’t like Ladybug even though she seems like a fairly competent and kind hero, despite the fact that she hasn’t caught Hawkmoth yet. Marinette, who rarely talks about akumas despite all of the time he spends with her, which is highly unusual because even people he only briefly meets manage to slip in something about akumas into the conversation. Damian feels like there must be some sort of connection between Marintte and the akuma situation that he’s not getting, but it’s eluding him.

He sits down with his laptop in his apartment and looks up information about Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s definitely just as talented as he suspected; in her ninth year of schooling, she won a Gabriel competition, participated in a music video of Clara Nightingale’s, and collaborated with Jagged Stone on an album cover. So that was how she met him-- he wondered, but never asked. There are also a few instagram posts that have tagged her as a good samaritan and a few articles that detail a small, asian girl who’s going around Paris helping random people that are in need.

The weird things that Damian finds are contained in her school records. She’s apparently in very good company with her IQ, but what’s more interesting is all the dates that she is tardy or absent from school. They line up perfectly with all of the dates that akumas appear. He feels dread gather in his stomach. 

A few more searches seem to cement his growing suspicions. Around the same time that Marinette obtained a truce with Lila matched up with when theorists believed that the Italian girl started working with Hawkmoth. He reads the instagrams and tweets of her classmates from the first year that Hawkmoth arrived, which talk about how excellent Marinette is at calming them down and guiding them to a better place. He also reads the posts of Chloe Bourgeois and Alya Cesaire and the articles about Marinette and Evillustrator that tell a slightly different story-- that Marinette is capable of manipulating others into more unpleasant situations.

Damian jolts. There is an incoming call from his father. 

“Are updates on Paris, Damian?” 

Should he give them a clue to his growing suspicions that Marinette is Hawkmoth? No, he can’t tell them until he gathers more information. 

“No,” he says. “Information about Hawkmoth and the Miraculous are hard to come by.”

There’s a sigh and what sounds like the rustling of papers from the other side. “I figured. Tim and Barbara can’t find anything over here, either, but the Justice League is worried. They want results.”

“The Justice League and I agreed that having Robin make an appearance would be beneficial. Gain Ladybug and Chat Noir’s trust, or find Hawkmoth. Information might come easier with your alter ego.”

“All right.” 

Another pause. He and his father have always had an awkward relationship. Bruce didn’t know of his existence until he was ten, and by that time, the most formative years of Damian’s life had already passed. Bruce Wayne may be many things, but good at dealing with children, he is not. Even after adopting so many children, he doesn’t know how to raise a child. Damian and his brothers have all raised themselves, with Bruce only stepping in when one of them is really going off the rails.

“Is everything else going well in Paris? School is good?”

“School is fine.” Damian wonders whether he should tell his father about Marinette. About the girl who is kind and capable and scarily efficient at dispatching criminals for a citizen and-- he can’t think about her like that. He decides against telling his father about her. She might be Hawkmoth, after all, and confirming her existence to his father means that he’s denying that possibility. “Gotham?”

“Nothing out of the usual. A few run-ins with the Joker.”

Another silence. The lapses in conversation aren’t awkward, but Damian thinks of the playful banter Marinette has with her parents and frowns. 

“Goodbye, Father.”

“Goodnight, Damian.”

Damian looks around at his empty apartment. There is nothing in it, except for his suitcase and a few pieces of furniture. It’s nothing like the manor, where he knows that Tim is up at all hours slaving away on another project that Damian rarely gets to see, or that Jason is in the training room with Dick joining him occasionally. He can’t pick a fight with Tim or have Dick try to mediate the conflicts between himself and Jason. No nightly patrols with three or four people talking over the comms, or near instantaneous backup when he gets into a tight spot. There is no Alfred or Barbara or Cassandra or Bruce here. Only Damian. 

He looks down at his laptop, at the various information and images of Marinette that he has up on his screen. In good conscience, he can’t continue being friends with her. Not with the possibility that she is the person he’s trying to hunt down. 

He remembers her saying that being lonely is different than being alone. 

Damian is lonely.

#

Patrol is a necessary evil. 

Ladybug doesn’t hate patrol. She’s not very fond of it, though. It cuts into time that she could be spending sleeping or designing or anything else, really. In the beginning, it started as a way to figure out how everything worked under the guise of the dark and without the constant threat of an akuma hanging over head. Then, it progressed into disproving the theory about Ladybug’s age, because civilians aren’t inclined to believe that a teenage girl who has school the next day would patrol every day in the early morning. Now, it shows the Parisians how devoted Ladybug is-- that’s something that she’s struggled with ever since withdrawing the Miraculous from all of the part time heroes-- and lets Marinette blow off any steam that she has. 

Right now, Marinette needs to blow off a lot of steam. Still, even as Ladybug, as much as Marinette wants to scream to high hell and back about how she’s been friends-- very close friends, she’d dare to say-- with the same person who has been terrorizing Paris for years, she can’t. If she screams, there will be media coverage on it, and she doesn’t want to deal with what the press would write up some article about how Ladybug was overworked and needed to bring back the other heroes, or that Ladybug wasn’t mentally sound enough to take care of Paris, she should just give up the Miraculous, or that Ladybug’s scream was [insert some poetic nonsense that English teachers wax about for hours even though the author never intended the audience to read that deeply into it].

Marinette doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s gotten close to Damian. She’s as close to him as she is with Kagami, Luka, Jagged and Penny. Damian knows that she’s MDC. He knows her hopes and aspirations. He knows her family, knows the majority of her friends, and knows what’s important to her. It will be so easy for him to tear her apart now. Marinette isn’t sure what Hawkmoth is waiting for, but she almost hopes that he’ll get it over with sooner rather than later.

What will Hawkmoth do first? Go after the website that he helped her make, probably. Cut off the financial support that she could use to run away and create another identity. Then, he’ll go after her friends, few and far as they may be. Renee next. Her family, last. She wonders who Mayura is, if he is Hawkmoth. She hasn’t seen anyone that’s close to him. Then again, Damian reveals next to nothing about himself. She’s never even seen where he lives.

There’s a shadow on the rooftops. 

God, of course Hawkmoth would send out an akuma today. He knows how horrible her mental state must be. There’s no way he wouldn’t take advantage of that.

She yoyos over to the shadow, not close enough to strike or apprehend, but close enough to easily give chase without the akuma being able to give her the slip.

“Ladybug,” the akuma says.

“Cut the crap. We all know you want the Miraculous, Hawkmoth. Let’s get to it.” The shadow steps forward where a street lamp illuminates its costume, and once again, she is assaulted by the barrage of colors on her eyes. After seeing how awful Damian’s color coordination was, it’s easy to come to terms with the awful designs of all of his costumes. Still, she’s surprised that the boy who dresses in the same outfit every day creates such outlandish costumes for all of his minions. 

The akuma frowns, tenses. 

“I’m not Hawkmoth,” it insists. “I’m Robin, a vigilante from Gotham. I’ve come to learn more about the current situation and aid you in taking Hawkmoth down.”

 Ladybug scoffs. She’s not sure what this akuma’s tactic is, but none of the others have tried to lie to her so blatantly about their identity. And ripping off an identity? That is a new low, even for Hawkmoth. She’s sure that the real Robin didn’t agree to this, and if she were close with the vigilante, maybe she could get him to throw a lawsuit or two at Hawkmoth once he was in custody, just for kicks.

Robin the akuma scrambles, apparently looking for something that can verify his identity. 

Ladybug strikes. There’s no pride in striking an opponent when they are distracted, but it’s a means to an end. If Damian is dumb enough to send out an akuma confused about its identity tonight of all nights-- a night where Ladybug is distressed and it would be all too easy to take advantage of her-- then she’s going to take advantage of it.

It’s easy to bind the akuma. Startlingly easy. The akuma is different tonight, then. His powers have something to do with close contact, maybe? Ladybug looks on his person for things that could be the point of akumatization, eyes flitting from Robin’s waistband to his mask.

She comes to an unpleasant conclusion. The measurements and the coloring are a perfect match. Hawkmoth has come to meet her in person.

“Damian,” Ladybug hisses. 

Damian’s eyes widen, like he doesn’t know how she’s pieced together his identity. How stupid does he think she is? He’s been dropping hints constantly. Information a transfer to Paris shouldn’t know. Never telling Marinette anything personal. Always being near an akuma attack when it happens. It’s almost like he wanted her to figure out his identity.

“How did you know?” 

“Please, Hawkmoth, did you really think that Marinette couldn’t connect the dots? You must have thought awfully little of her if you thought that your constant appearances near all of the akuma and questions about the Miraculous didn’t lead me to your identity.”

“Hawkmoth? Ladybug, I’m not Hawkmoth, I’m Robin.”

“And I’m the queen of England. Renounce your Miraculous now, Hawkmoth. Or I’ll beat you until you detransform and take it from you.” 

Damian looks confused before his face contorts to an expression of resignation. He recognizes a cold fury in her eyes that is distinct to people who won’t give up until they get their way, and there’s really no other way around this right now. He should have brought his comm with him, but he wasn’t expecting to meet Ladybug tonight; he just wanted to assess the situation as Robin, to get out from his apartment for a second. Rookie mistake. 

True to her word, Ladybug beats Damian unconscious and also until he’s black and blue. She’ll be lying if she didn’t say she took out some of her fury from the past years on him.

But here’s the thing; Damian doesn’t detransform. He stays in his god-awful costume that has the same disgusting shade of mustard yellow as that one top Damian owns. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. When Miraculous users faint, they detransform because it takes a sort of mental awareness to handle the powers bestowed upon them. Is it different because Damian is an akuma? Is there some sort of Miraculous bylaw that if a Miraculous user gets akumatized, they get to stay in their alternate form? Oh wait, that’s right, he’s an akuma, not Hawkmoth right now.

Ladybug stumbles forward, breaking all of the weapons that are on his belt, taking off his mask and breaking that as well. No akuma comes out. She tries his gloves, then his boots. She pats him down, seeing if there’s anything she missed. She rips his suit, too. Nothing. There’s no brooch in his personal effects either.

What is she supposed to do now? 

Seeing no alternative, Ladybug picks Damian up and yoyos back to Tom and Sabine’s Boulangerie to safely detransform and figure out what the fuck is going on.

He’s not Hawkmoth, is the conclusion Marinette comes to after a side by side comparison of pictures of the vigilante and Damian. The horrifying conclusion: the person lying on the floor of her bedroom is actually Robin, the vigilante from Gotham. 

Marinette knows it’s better to err on the side of caution, but she still buries her head in her hands in embarrassment. How can she have gotten him so wrong? She really needs to get better at reading people, because deciding that random civilians are Hawkmoth clearly has not paid off. 

She also cannot believe that the Justice League has decided to step in now, and with a sidekick from America, of all things--Marinette is pretty sure that she sent the videos to the European branch. It must have been three years since her first notification to them. She contacted them immediately after Stoneheart, and again, after Syren when she was distraught at the death that surrounded her. With no response, there was nothing she could do. She has to start relying on herself and her own skills. 

Ladybug only contacted them once more, after Heroes’ Day. At that point, Ladybug had been thinking for a while that someone who was naturally superpowered or someone with a high grade of intelligence-- like the heroes affiliated with the Justice League-- would do more harm than good if they were allowed in the city. After the devastation of her teammates being akumatized, and the nearly week long battle that ensued, she was certain that she could barely fight her teammates, let alone trained professionals. So with shaky hands and red rimmed eyes, she said to please disregard her earlier messages; the situation in Paris wasn’t that bad, and Ladybug could handle it. 

Damian groans. Marinette jumps; he is waking up far earlier than she anticipated. She wants to transform back into Ladybug. Being in her spots gives her a pseudo sense of security. First, though, she has to restrain him. Even though he isn’t Hawkmoth, she’s not sure whether he’s a threat or not. She makes quick work of it, using the thickest zip ties that she has on hand and restraining his arms and legs.

She doesn’t get the chance to transform back into Ladybug, but that’s just as well, because at the end of the day, Marinette is the foundation of anything that makes Ladybug a hero to the public. Damian opens his eyes almost immediately after she has finished restraining him, taking in his surroundings and the person in front of him.

“Marinette? Where’s Ladybug?” No questions of how he got there; Ladybug can clearly carry her own weight and more. No questions as to why there are zip ties cutting into his wrists and ankles; he has seen too many of Marinette’s victims on the streets.

“What do you mean, where’s Ladybug?” Marinette is right in front of him. She might not have the suit on, but at the end of the day, she does have the Ladybug Miraculous, which means she’s Ladybug through and through, and Damian must know that. Otherwise, there’s no real reason for Robin to be spending so much time with Marinette. The fact that she feels more real and true to herself as Marinette than as Ladybug probably means nothing to him.

“She knocked me out on a rooftop. Didn’t know that you two knew each other personally. I’m not Hawkmoth, by the way.” He twitches, then realizes that he’s been tied up. “Why’d she leave me with you?”

So he doesn’t know that she’s also Ladybug? This whole thing keeps getting more confusing. Still, the less people that know about her alter ego, the better. Marinette will keep him in the dark. She attributes his blatant misunderstanding to the identity concealment magic of the Miraculous. It’s powerful stuff. If it didn’t exist, she’s sure she would have found concrete evidence as to who Hawkmoth is by now. 

“She asked me to assess whether you were a threat or not. Whether or not she casts the Miraculous Cure is contingent on my response.”

“Ladybug wants you to assess whether I’m a threat or not? Why’d she leave a possible super villain with a civilian?”

“I help Ladybug out with many things.” Her voice turns to clinical detachment. She uses this method to dissociate as Ladybug when things get overwhelming. Assess the situation. Get in, deakumatize, get out. Marinette needs to distance herself. It’s bad enough that the situation is this convoluted, but she doesn’t need Damian to doubt Ladybug’s capabilities as well. “Ladybug knows that you’re not Hawkmoth now, and she knows that I can handle myself with any run of the mill bad guy, even if they are a supposed vigilante.”

“Tell me, Robin,” Marinette spits the name like a curse, “Why should I tell Ladybug that you’re not a threat? That you are who you say you are?”

In all honesty, all Marinette wants to do is knock Damian out again so she can collect her thoughts. She’s not sure how she should address his presence as Robin in Paris and is still reeling from the whiplash of thinking he was Hawkmoth only for him to turn into a foreign vigilante. Next thing she knows, he’ll tell her that his name isn’t even Damian Grayson. Well, now that she thinks about it, he’s definitely not. After this encounter finishes, she’ll look up Damian and Gotham and see what she gets.

He looks flustered, like he never expected anybody to question his identity or presence. It’s laughable, really. Marinette doubts that the Justice League actually sent him; he’s probably here to explore on his own. That means he’ll only be a pain in the ass to deal with. Maybe she needs to get into contact with the Justice League again, if only just so she can deport Robin with more ease. 

“I can call Batman,” he says.

Marinette doesn’t think this is a very good solution. There’s no way for her to prove that the person on the other side actually is Batman and not some actor. But after racking her brain, she can’t come up with a much better solution. It’s not like Robin has any superpowers that she can request to see, and she doesn’t have a direct line to anybody from the Justice League.

“Fine. Call Batman.”

“It’s in the pocket near on my right side.” Marinette doesn’t bother going closer to him. She destroyed everything on him earlier, in case it was the akuma’s vessel. Ladybug thought she came across a phone, but now she’s glad she smashed it and left it on that random rooftop. He probably has some sort of tracker on his phone. In any case, Marinette thinks it’s weird for a vigilante to have a phone on them while on the rooftops. Shouldn’t he have an earpiece or something? 

“Your phone was destroyed by Ladybug. Tell me the number to call. I’ll put it on speaker.” Marinette isn’t sure if the number he’ll have her call will be some sort of secure connection or direct line that is only accessible through Damian’s phone, but she doesn’t particularly care because the Miraculous Communicators are exactly that. Miraculous. Master Fu assured her that all communications were private and impossible to crack unless they also had a Miraculous. Which is why she’s using the Miraculous Communicator to call Batman.

Damian winces, then speaks into the offered phone. 

“Batman, it’s Robin. I need to verify my identity in order to proceed.”

“Are you with Ladybug?”

So he is on a mission, then, and not just playing hooky. If Batman is involved, Marinette has no doubt the rest of the Justice League will follow soon. This will be a dreadfully unpleasant call.

“I’m making it a video call,” Marinette says. “And no, he’s not with Ladybug. I’m Ladybug’s point of contact, and she doesn’t take kindly to people encroaching on her territory without permission.”

“Robin, what happened?” Batman isn’t accepting her video request.

Marinette cuts off whatever Damian is about to say. “Damian was suspicious; I reported his activities to Ladybug and she believed that he could be Hawkmoth. Then, she caught him on the roofs and took him back to my place after verifying that he wasn’t Hawkmoth. Video call, Batman. I’d like to see that you are who you say you are, before I send Robin back to the states.”

“She knows your civilian identity? Two people know that you’re Robin?”

“Turn your video on. If you can’t prove that you are who Damian says you are, Ladybug and I will do everything in our powers to deport him and make sure that the Justice League is not allowed in Paris again. Ladybug said that she doesn’t need any unknowns in her city, and I’ve been hoping Robin came here of his own volition. It sounds like that isn’t the case.”

Marinette thinks that Batman curses in English, but she’s not sure. Fluent though Marinette may be, she is not well versed in curses, colloquialisms, or American memes. The camera turns on. It’s Batman, or at the very least, an actor wearing a very good knock off costume.

It’s annoying that Marinette can’t see his eyes. There’s some white film where his eyes should be, and the fact that his cowl covers more than half of his face isn’t doing her any favors in letting her read his facial expression. She moves herself so that Batman can see both her and Robin.

“Why is Robin restrained?”

“Like I said: he was suspicious. I’m not taking any chances.”

A moment of silence.

“How do you want me to prove my identity?” 

That’s good. He’s not asking who she is, though she’s sure that there are cameras pointing at the screen on Batman’s end, running facial analysis and background checks on her. The Miraculous magic will ensure that any connections between her and Ladybug will not come to light. Other than her identity as Ladybug, Marinette has nothing to hide.

“If you’re Batman, then you should have access to the League’s calls, European and otherwise. Play me the last video that Ladybug sent you. I know what she said.” She spares a glance at Damian. His jaw is tight, but when he looks at her, she finds what looks like regret. It’s not entirely Damian’s fault. A mission is a responsibility, and Marinette understands that in order to be a hero or vigilante, one must be willing to do anything to accomplish the mission. Really, she’s only Ladybug because she feels that heavy weight of the words duty and responsibility on her shoulders. Fu’s fault.

“Behave. If you try something, I’ll knock you out.” Marinette sets the communicator on her desk and eyes him. The zipties are so tight around his arms and legs that he is bleeding. Marinette feels a flash of sympathy, then pushes it away. It was his fault for-- why was he at fault, again? 

“I have the video.” Batman sounds even peakier than when they started the call. He plays the video.

“Justice League. This is Ladybug. I rescind my requests for help; I can take care of Paris with my own team. Any help from you at this point would be a detriment and could potentially harm the citizens of Paris. Hawkmoth manipulates strong emotions, and I don’t need to handle a metahuman or tactical genius to gain more power to wreak havoc on my city. I will not contact you with any further requests for assistance.”

It’s an awful video. Marinette had to wait a day after the Heroes’ week fiasco just so her eyes wouldn’t be red. At least her voice doesn’t waver in it. There’s a conviction in the whole video that was unique to that moment. 

Marinette looks at Batman, then at Robin. 

“Clearly the Justice League refused to listen. Ladybug doesn’t want or need your help at this point in time. Why are you here?”

“The Justice League is at fault for not paying attention to Ladybug’s other videos. But Mayor Bourgeois and President Macron can only cover such alarming incidents for so long. Ladybug and her… team clearly need help in order to find and take down Hawkmoth, so once the American branch of the Justice League found out half a year ago, we started to investigate.” Batman speaks in lieu of Damian. Marinette briefly wonders if Damian knows who Batman is under the mask. She bets he does. They’re probably close, what with how worried Batman sounds. 

“What makes you think that the Justice League is any better equipped to handle this situation? Ladybug and her team have been fighting for the past three years and resolved every akuma with no help from you. She needed your help in earlier years. Now she doesn’t.”

“Exactly; it’s been three years and she still hasn’t caught Hawkmoth.”

“You say that like the Justice League doesn’t have a team with more wealth and manpower than Ladybug does that’s been looking into Hawkmoth and the Miraculous for the past half year and clearly has not found any reasonable leads. Ladybug has only been actively looking for Hawkmoth for the past two years, not three. The police handled the first year, not that you’ve done any homework on the situation. Thought that a field agent would help your chances?” 

There is fire in Marinette’s stomach. Batman sounds so dismissive of all of the work that she’s been doing. It’s been hard on her; she doesn’t have the support that she needs and doesn’t have the experience or expertise to hunt down Hawkmoth on her own. She trained briefly under Master Fu to learn spells and ways to expand her powers as Ladybug, but that was an equivalent exchange: she no longer trusts that other holders won’t be akumatized. Her growing cynicism and physical training from Maman came at the expense of Chat Noir; after the whole Lila incident in her first year as Ladybug, she found out that Chat Noir and Adrien were one and the same. And Gabriel Agreste is not afraid to use his son until Adrien is stretched far too thin, which forced Marinette to nearly bench her partner.

“Three years,” Batman says again.

“If the Justice League can’t figure it out nearly unlimited resources and funding in half a year-- both ordinary and super human-- then clearly it isn’t a question of time. It’s a question of capability. Get off your high horse, Batman. You haven’t given me any reasons why Ladybug and I shouldn’t deport Robin here, and you’re definitely not making a good case as to why she shouldn’t go to Mayor Bourgeois and France’s president to ensure that the Justice League and its affiliates and ban hero travel into Paris. Bourgeois already doesn’t want information on it’s supervillain situation to get out.” 

“Marinette,” Damian pleads.

As Robin and as Damian, he doesn’t pose a threat. He hasn’t been helpful, but he certainly hasn’t messed with the status quo for the month that he’s been here. Still, he is a liability. If he stays in Paris, he is the gateway for the other members of the Justice League to fly in and try to commandeer the fragile balance that she has found. She can’t afford for something like that to happen.  

“You’re not any better, Robin. Why did you even hang around me? Thought I was a threat?” Her eyes narrow in realization. It makes sense why he decided to hang out with her, despite his initial cold front. He was playing a role.“You thought I was Hawkmoth.”

His silence is an agreement.

“We just want to help,” Damian says, and against her better judgement, Marinette believes him. 

Her shoulders round, and Marinette sighs. She can’t truly begrudge Damian for that train of thought, not when she believed the same about him. She’s been a little harsh on them so far, in part due to old resentment that they never responded to her in that first, awful year when she needed the help. 

There’s a dull tiredness that comes with knowing someone who she considered one of her closest friends suspected her of being a supervillain, though she did believe the same of him, so maybe they’re even. It still hurts, though. It hurts like when Alya decided that Marinette was mean-hearted enough to stop the members of their class from reaching their full potential. It hurts like when Marinette finally realized that she couldn’t repair their friendship, not to what it used to be. It hurts like when she looked around the classroom and realized that she couldn’t talk to anyone there. It hurts like when Marinette decided that she couldn’t risk helping her friends the way she wanted to. 

“What kind of help can you offer us? We don’t need any more of you to come out here.” Resources are nice. More money to fund therapy programs around town won’t hurt. Master Fu doesn’t help on that part. Really, he doesn’t help at all. Even though she has Chat Noir and had a team, she often feels like it’s herself against the world. Some days, she reaches up to her earrings and feels an aching emptiness, like there’s something more to the Miraculous that’s been sealed away.

“We can give you resources. Money, connections, experience. Robin is good with technology. He can help you track down where Hawkmoth is.”

Marinette’s laugh is bitter. “Sure, he can try, but the butterflies Hawkmoth sends out aren’t visible by the normal human eye or electronically until they’ve found their mark. Once they’re purified, they’re just normal butterflies, and they go off in random directions.”

“Normal human eye? It sounds like there are exceptions.” Damian readjusts himself. He has fidgeted his way into an uncomfortable looking seiza position, where his ankles are bleeding. 

“A true holder can see the butterflies at all times.”

Marinette also decides to throw them a bone so there’s no questions as to why a mere civilian is working with Ladybug. “That’s why Ladybug recruited me. I was Multimouse.”

Multimouse was in the file that Damian sent his father, but he asks, just to make sure. “The one that can split itself?”

“That’s correct. I guess now is as good a time as any for the two of you to get your questions answered.”

“Why are you the point of civilian contact instead of any of the other more frequently used heroes? Didn’t you appear only once?” Damian avoids looking Marinette in the eyes, and that makes her feel slightly better. He’s ashamed of his actions. Good. 

“Ladybug said that the other hero’s civilian forms were either compromised or not in a good position.”

“Ladybug knows who all the holders are.” Batman speculates. He looks less tense now that Damian is no longer tied up, but his voice remains gravelly and distrubed. Maybe that’s what he sounds like all the time.  “Who else knows? Do you?” 

“Only Ladybug knows.” Marinette lives in half truths. She’s not sure that they’re much better than lies, but they’re all she has. Secrecy is the only thing Master Fu has sincerely taught her.

“Why have all the other heroes disappeared?” 

“Ladybug said that it was too dangerous for someone who could be akumatized to hold a Miraculous. Rena Rage, Shell Shock, Queen Wasp-- they were all frighteningly powerful akumas. It’s also why Chat Noir has been showing up less and less; his home life is not the best, and she’s trying her best to ensure that he doesn’t get akumatized.”

“She’s not worried for herself or,” Damian’s eyes flick to Marinette, away from Batman. “For you?” 

“She knows that both of us are good at dealing with stress. We have our own methods of coping.” She looks at Damian, her mouth tightening into a frown. “If you want to stay in Paris, I’ll cut you a deal. We can work together for two weeks, and if we don’t get any results, you have to leave and the Justice League must promise that they won’t interfere again.”

“Two weeks isn’t enough time,” Damian objects.

“If you don’t think it’s enough time, just leave now. I’ll say now that I’m only willing to work with you during the night. That’s the time I work on Miraculous related stuff now, anyways. And stay out of the akuma battles.” She doesn’t actually think that working together will help anyways, and she wants Damian gone sooner rather than later. He’s been making her feel too much and emotions that are far more explosive and easy to take advantage of than Marinette has in a long time. She doesn’t want to be targeted by an akuma because of her inner conflict. 

“Two weeks, then,” Batman agrees. “Robin can contact me if you need any extra resources.”

Marinette hangs up and assesses Damian. He looks almost pitiful, with bruising around his eyes, tousled hair, a ripped suit, and cuts where his skin is exposed. She opens her trap door in a clear gesture for him to depart. Downstairs is dark; her Maman and Papa have long since gone to sleep, and it’s only a few more hours until they wake up to start baking. “We start tomorrow. If you need Ladybug for anything, tell me.”

He’s half way down the ladder when he looks back up at Marinette, into her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Marinette can’t breath. She feels like vomiting. His eyes are so green in comparison to the purple bruising on his face. She did that to him. She made him look that way. All she’s ever wanted to do as Ladybug is protect the people she cared for. But Damian-- Marinette doesn’t know. She doesn't know whether what Damian has done can actually be described as bad. He was just trying to do what Batman told him to do. Keeping an eye on a threat. Marinette wonders how long he thought she was Hawkmoth. She wonders if he ever thought they were friends. 

“I’m sorry too,” Marinette says, and shuts the trap door.

They’re both sorry for very different things.

[thewanderingace]

Hawkeye 1x05 reactions

⚠️ Spoilers below ⚠️

Hell yeah were starting with a Yelena flashback! And it's Yelena going and finding the widows and releasing them from their brainwashing!!

God I fucking love her so much!!!!

She's so happy about Natasha being back in her life. Look at that smile. "Shes good."

Yelena leaving the room as soon as Sex and the City is mentioned. Big aroace mood.

Oh shit she did get snapped and this is a crazy view of what it was like for them. Literally five seconds. Shit. My heart

Ohhh no!! "I need to find Natasha. Can you help me find Natasha?" 😭😭😭😭😭

Kate crying! But she clearly understands why Clint sent her away and I love that! I love that it didnt resolve into some nonsense misunderstanding cause I hate those. She understands Clint did it to protect her. I hate seeing her cry though. That hurts.

Her mom is sketchy af. Just saying.

YELENA IS THE BEST! This entire thing between Yelena and Kate in her apartment is just perfection. I love her. Her "Hi", making mac n cheese, making fun of Katie's lack of forks, inviting her to eat, joking talking about American christmas and visiting New York and eating reindeer and then BAM! It's assassin Yelena and then BAM its Natasha's grieving sister. Florence has RANGE

Love Kate's defense for Clint. Love that. Love her. Yelena makes excellent points too.

I just have a lot of overall feels right now for so many of these characters.

Kazi and Maya are kinda cute together.

Awww Clint just falling asleep on grills couch while petty Lucky. That is everything to me. He's just so fucking tired. Let him rest. Both physically and emotionally. It's been a week and this man is TIRED. And I loooove that hes cuddling Lucky. Like, yes. Do that more. Lucky is a good boy and cuddles with a dog is the best.

Clint went to Grills!!! Awww. And he's been watching over Lucky.

THE COSTUMES!!!! THE COSTUMES ARE RIGHT THERE!! LET ME SEE THEM!! AHH NO I GOTTA WAIT ANOTHER EPISODE!! My edcitment is high.

Yeah Jack still creeps me the fuck out and also Eleanor is SHADY

Oh my god. Oh no. Nononono. Clint 🥺 He's talking to Natasha. At the Avengers memorial. Oh my god. He's literally on the verge of tears. I'm gonna cry.

"Natasha. I really need to talk to you right now. You were the bravest of us all, weren't you. Loyal. Stubborn. You always had to win, didn't you. And for a stupid orange rock. I've replayed that a million times over in my head hoping for a different outcome. But I do my best every day to earn what you gave me. I just wanna say....I just wanna day I miss you. And I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do."

I had to post that whole thing because I am SOBBING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Kate calling Clint so many times that she fill his inbox. And her saying that she fucks up sometimes and then immediately breaks something trying the coin trick is peak comedy.

Tracksuit Bros are always hysterical and I love them.

I....I might die. This show is gonna end me. The feels for Nat, Clint, Yelena and Maya are gonna kill me.

Clint called Laura! I LOVE THEM. BEST HUSBAND AND WIFE EVER!!! Not only does she know exactly what he's gonna do cause she's smart and knows her man but the trust and love here is so perfect. I'm crying at the sadness between them and the resignation and the fear that something bad is gonna happen to their family. They both said I love you this time. Help me

Clint put the Ronin suit on. Shit is he gonna kill Maya so Fisk doesn't get involved (I mean he obviously doesn't because of Echo but still)

Clint just taking everyone out in ninja mode is crazy.

I LOVE WATCHING MAYA FIGHT!!! LOOK AT HER!! SHE'S AMAZING!!! Using her prosthetic to kick his ass is perfect. I cannot fucking wait for the Echo series because I need more Maya in my life. God I love her. She's so smart and skilled.

Ahhh oh my god I'm dying. Love the asl usage and the fact that Clint is still a beginner signer so she has to read his lips.

Ooooh they did go the comic route!!! That Fisk ordered her father dead and hired Ronin to do it!! 

Kate saving the day!!

Was the informant Kazi!?!?

Anyone else getting more and more hyped for Echo with each episode because I SURE AM!!! I love Maya!!! I cant wait to have a whole series about her!! Severely disappointed by the lack of Maya in the tag though. Might have to make some Maya gifs myself when I have time.

Lol she ordered and uber to pick them up

Whump alert: looove that he holds his bleeding arm this whole time. I love to see it.

God he just looks so tired. LET MY BOY REST!

CLINT DOES KNOW WHO YELENA IS!!! AAHHHHH NAT DID TELL HIM ABOUT HER!!! Of course he wouldnt recognize her. Also the tiny "okay" when Kate told him broke my heart.

Lol all back ar Grills house. Love it. So happy we're getting so much Grills content. And Lucky!

Its already such a lighter atmosphere. Clint you are so much happier when Kate is around. I love it. She brings a little more light and silliness into your life which you desperately needed. She's good for you.

YELENA!! Looooving this outfit!! Ahh shes following Eleanor

AAAAHHHH SHUT UP! I mean called it but confirmation of Eleanor is a bad guy but instead of contessa SHE'S WORKING FOR FISK!!! AND THAT IS VINCENT DONOFRIO!!!!

Poor Kate 😭 Clint please take her to the farm for xmas. Her and Yelena.

Omg. Look at this in the credits. I love it.

I can't believe there's only one more episode!!!! I want more! So much more! I love this show so much please don't end.