#not explicit; just experimenting with a more adult style

[14dayswithyou]

Ren NSFW alphabet

This has been sitting in my drafts since the dawn of time, so I might as well release it lmao

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Ren gets very cuddly and sentimental(?) after sex; often pulling you close and just gushing about how much he loves you, how lucky he is to have you, and how he'd bury Corland Bay six feet under if anyone tried to take you away from him. He'd also be rubbing soothing patterns into your back while he brushes strands of your hair away from your face and tucks you both into bed. If you wanted a towel or water, however, then he'd immediately get up to fetch them.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part on himself would probably his hands since they're long, slender, and aesthetically pleasing — but he despises the burn marks and scars that cover them. Ren's favourite body part on you would either be your stomach or thighs. He just loves seeing your tummy peek out from underneath your clothes and the plushness of your thighs really does things to him dhsjsks

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Very thick, copious, and tastes a bit salty 😳 He’s just really pent up, okay…? Ren also loves coming inside you and just watching it ooze out before shoving it back in with his fingers (or his tongue lmao he’s nasty). He would go feral if you went about your day with his seed still deep inside you, and might even pull you aside for round two (or five) if he sees you casually talking to Teo or Leon as your mixed fluid runs down your thighs.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

THERE’S TOO MANY UHHHH he has tons of lewd photos of you saved on his phone and PC, a bunch of your underwear hidden deep inside his closet, and one of your old hoodies covering his dakimakura of you. You can imagine what he does with all of these things… 😬 Ren also watches p*rn/h*ntai and plays adult games on the rare occasion, but ONLY if the characters look similar to you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Absolutely no experience whatsoever before he met you 💀 He has somewhat of an idea of what he’s doing through all the explicit videos he watches and what he sees online, as well as getting "the talk" from his sex ED class at school.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mating press, the face off/lotus, missionary, butterfly press, etc. 🤡 Anything where he can be as close as possible while facing you. There are times where he'll be needy and desperate enough to put you in doggy style or reverse cowgirl, but that's only when you tease him enough to the point where he just cant wait any longer to have you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Ren is not necessarily goofy during sex, but his awkwardness might come across like it. For example, he might not be able to line himself up properly or he might hear a weird noise down there — in which he would just embarrassingly laugh it off and unintentionally end up lightening the mood.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

His happy trail is a curly patch of black to match the hair on his head, and he usually keeps it decently trimmed (whenever he remembers to). If you want him to be completely hairless down there, just complain about it and he’ll instantly rectify it. His chest hair is also very short and fine, so it wouldn't really be visible unless you get up close and personal with it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

VERY INTIMATE. Ren is unaware of the fact that he's a hopeless romantic at heart, but he does love to hold your hands and give you soft and tender kisses during sex; rather than sucking your face off or shoving his tongue down your throat. He wants to be as close as physically possible when it comes to you, so he's often pulling you close/pressing himself against you and loves the feeling of your heartbeat on his skin.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before he met you; Ren would usually get himself off at least five times a week. But now that you’re around he doesn’t see the point in it when he could just?? seek you out??? If you’re not in the mood, however, then he’ll just look at ethically sourced pictures of you while he goes to town with his right hand. It's really not a big deal to him since he just wants you to reciprocate his feelings rather than get in your pants.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think I’ve gone over this before, but ya mans has a massive breeding kink, roleplay kink, edging/overstimulation kink, and a marking/biting kink (more-so because he loves leaving marks on you and seeing the aftermath of it, rather than the actual act of biting/marking you). You could literally combine all of his kinks into one by offering to roleplay as a needy spouse who wants their husband to leave his mark all over and inside them — after teasing and edging them on throughout the day.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He's most comfortable woohooing you in the privacy of his/your home, but if Ren starts feeling a bit jealous or possessive in public, then he’s not afraid to pull you into a secluded area and fuck you silly as a way to stake his claim (so long as you do the same to him!). He's so eager to make you happy that he literally doesn't care where you drag him off to... ^^ As long as only he gets to put his hands on you, Ren is DTF whenever, wherever.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

ANYTHING SHDJSJSJ he’s horny 24/7 and literally just looking at him for too long would get him going ^^; He respects your boundaries though and would never force himself on you just because he’s in the mood or needs to relieve himself.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Ren will NEVER share you. Please don’t ever suggest a threesome (or more) with him because he’ll immediately shut the idea down and be in a sulky mood afterwards (Why would you need to introduce another person? Is he not good enough? He could always resort to using toys on you if you needed more stimulation…). Ren is also a little hesitant to inflict pain on you in any way (aside from consensual spanking, choking, biting, etc.), and would much prefer the pain to be inflicted on him instead.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

loves loves LOVES going down on you! Seeing you throw your head back as you grip his hair just does things to him, and Ren would gladly spend an eternity between your thighs if you let him. He also doesn’t mind if you go down on him as well, but considers that a reward rather than an act of appreciation. Like? You really want to touch the most intimate part of him? You must really love him so much!

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually starts out slow with a lot of grinding since he wants you to feel every single inch of him inside you, but he’ll eventually pick up the pace and ultimately end up jackhammering into you once the pleasurable haze takes over his brain. Honestly though? Just tell him to speed up, slow down, or get rougher and he’ll do it. Even if it means he doesn't get off, Ren will still put your needs over his and comply to your wishes.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Greatly prefers taking his time with you so he can appreciate your body and give you the maximum amount of pleasure you deserve — but can also see the appeal in quickies. This man is shameless, so he’s down to take you between the bookshelves in a secluded area in the library, or even in the janitor’s closet of your apartment complex. Teo's stupidly large bed? I don't know how you guys got in there but he's down. In the changing stalls at the beach? Sure, he's already inside and waiting for you. On his sports motorbike? ....Y'all WILD but yeah, he would 💀

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s fair game. So long as it doesn’t put you in danger, Ren is open and willing to try it. The most riskiest thing he wants to try is being inside you while you talk to your friends/nosy neighbour. He just wants to feel you squeeze around his length while you desperately try to calm your breathing and hide your red cheeks. And hearing you stutter when he bucks his hips is just too cute to resist.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Due to his lack of experience, Ren has a lot of catching up to do. He can usually last up to three rounds, but if you bat your eyes and wiggle your hips a little around his cock, then three rounds can easily turn into eight.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He owned a couple of flesh-lights, a butt plug, a bullet vibrator, and would use them on himself until you came along. Now he doesn’t have much use for them — unless you have other ideas. Ren might not use dildos on you since he might get a little jealous from the thought of you getting off to something that isn't him, but if you ask to get a replica based on his measurements, then he might be a little bit more willing.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ren doesn't tease as much, but [REDACTED] definitely would. He might say things like “Look in the mirror angel, can't you see how well you're taking me?”, "Y'feel amazing. Squeeze me harder?", "Your hips are moving on their own. D'you really want me that badly?", "Aw, can you still talk, angel? Then tell me how much you want to come on my cock." et cetera. If you’ve spent time with your friends, he’d also be in a bit of a mood to tease you by drawing out your orgasm for as long as possible. After all, you made him wait sooo long just to see you again, so you should get a taste of your own medicine.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s very vocal and babbles a lot during sex, so you’d honestly need to shut him up somehow. Will either talk unwavering praise or absolute filth into your ear while he’s rearranging your insides — but once he gets close, his sentences soon become incoherent until his hips are stuttering and he’s keening out your name over and over again. If he’s bottoming, however, then Ren becomes even more whiney and almost bratty shdjsjs

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You know how he can change and control aspects of the game, such as withholding private information and stopping you from getting his bad ending? Well, Ren can also change aspects of himself as well. Please don't imagine him glitching his appearance to have two monster-sized cocks or an extra mouth where the palm of his hand should be :) And don't think about aaaall the ways he could use them on you hehe :)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His penis is ~6 inches flaccid and ~8 inches hard purely bc I think it’s funny >:) He has such a cute and unassuming appearance that the thought of him slinging around a massive PP like a weapon is hilarious lmao ^^; He's also really tall and lanky so it kind of makes sense though.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Extremely high, but as I've said before; Ren won't act upon his urges unless you want to as well. He's already satisfied with being in your presence, holding your hand, or even just being involved in a conversation with you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Mans canonically lasted like 15 seconds before he passed out after the first time you had sex — but ideally, if you initiated pillow talk with him, then Ren would try his best to stay up and listen to your voice <3 He likes talking with you, and wouldn't mind putting his sleep schedule aside if it meant hearing your soft and comforting voice.

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

✼ 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 ✼

♥ Larissa Weems ♥ (Wednesday, TV 2022)

on wednesdays we wear black (ongoing) -> a Morticia Addams/Larissa Weems Mean Girls!AU story that is currently on hiatus. needs to be reworked

little miss perfect -> a teenage Larissa Weems/Morticia Addams one-shot. dealing with internalised homophobia. angst with a happy ending.

push me gently (into love) (nsfw) -> two chapter Larissa x reader story in which the reader is a goth art teacher at Nevermore. fluffy, cozy, and sweet, featuring easily skippable smut. rom-com vibes. written for a lovely human being and i hope it continues to bring her joy.

particular (nsfw) -> Larissa Weems x (adult) Wednesday Addams, aka the fic that got me cancelled. rom-com with dark humour and some more mature themes, but still relatively light. sort of a coming-of-age story. author is considering making people take a reading comprehension test before being allowed to comment.

making do -> one-shot. angst, hurt/no comfort. past Larissa Weems/Morticia Addams. a character study of Larissa Weems. mentions sexual assault, deals with processing trauma.

pathetic (nsfw) -> part of kink!week. a short piece describing a toxic relationship. Larissa x reader, but nothing abut the reader is specified -- almost like their identity doesn't matter and they're just a plaything meant to pleasure their boss. featuring foot fetish. it's hotter than you think :)

inevitable (dead dove: do not eat) -> a very dark piece of fiction dealing with sexual assault and trauma. features horror elements. please, take the tags seriously, this isn't a light read.

♥ Lucifer Morningstar ♥ (The Sandman, TV 2022)

violet soul (nsfw) -> two chapters. one of my most popular Lucifer fics. Lucifer x reader. deals with the topic of selling one's soul to the devil. dark. features very filthy smut.

my ruin tastes so sweet (almost as sweet as your lips) -> a choose-your-own-adventure story with three possible endings, that explores what it means for an angel to fall. Lucifer x angel!reader.

our little dance (nsfw) -> Lucifer/Mazikeen. character/unconventional relationship study. explores neurodivergency. very sensual smut in the 2nd chapter.

kiss my sorrow away -> tooth-rottingly fluffy Lucifer/Mazikeen one-shot. Lucifer is being the most extra of drama queens, and Mazikeen cheers them up.

call the devil's name (nsfw) -> Lucifer/Mazikeen one-shot. very romantic. hot and tender smut. depicts love as devotion/religious experience.

belong (nsfw) -> dark Lucifer x reader one-shot. non-explicit non-con. explores the concept of free will after one sells their soul to the devil.

the secret (nsfw) -> last part of kink!week with a surprising twist at the end. Lucifer x Mazikeen... and a curious voyeur?

♥ Jane Murdstone ♥ (The Personal History of David Copperfield, 2019)

when the last restraint is gone (ongoing) (nsfw) -> an intense victorian romance between Jane Murdstone and her lady's maid, Laura. sort of in the style of Sarah Waters's historical romance novels. heavily influenced by Vita and Virginia's love letters. featuring a lot of sensually read victorian poetry and dirty, delicious smut. currently being edited/rewritten.

one and a half sugars (ongoing) -> modern!AU. Jane is an insipid accountant with very specific opinions about coffee, and reader is the only person who knows how to make it for her. fluffy rom-com vibes. will feature smut in later chapters.

don't look away (as i bare my soul to you) (nsfw) -> part of kink!week. dominatrix!Jane x reader. how healing is it for someone to see the worst parts of you and never avert their eyes? the kink in question is watersports and it's much tamer and more sensual than it sounds.

♥ Captain Phasma ♥ (Star Wars, sequel trilogy)

danger level - one (nsfw) -> filthy smut featuring the good ol' sex pollen trope. Phasma x fem!stormtrooper!reader. hot and a bit silly. straightforward and simple porn lol.

chrome and lipstick (nsfw) -> technically a Wednesday fandom crossover, but honestly you can read it without knowing anything about Wednesday except the fact that Larissa Weems is a person that exists. filthy smut (sensing a theme for fics featuring our beloved captain here? lol). non-con/dub-con, so read at your own risk!

easy prey (nsfw) -> part of kink!week. tentacle erotica, non-con. features glittery pink tentacles and a very pretty alien oc, if that spark(le)s your fancy.

♥ Jan Stevens ♥ (Flux Gourmet, 2022)

hazy (nsfw) -> Jan x reader smut, featuring the infamous egg aka oviposition kink. give it a go, it's not as weird as you think it is :)

beautiful (nsfw) -> a gift for a lovely tumblr mutual. Jan x reader fic exploring love, devotion, and body image. very smutty. featuring eggs because it's Jan and it has to :)

fill me (with your love) (nsfw) -> part of kink!week. Jan x fem!reader. a very sensual piece with disturbing erotic imagery. featuring alvinolagnia, food play and bloating fetish.

♥ Brienne of Tarth ♥ (Game of Thrones, TV 2011-2019)

so very chivalrous (and so completely oblivious) -> Brienne x princess!reader. very fluffy. Brienne is very good with a sword, but a bit oblivious in the matters of love. featuring good ol' lesbian yearning.

sweet dreams (nsfw) -> part of kink!week. brienne is injured in a heroic pursuit, and a lovely lady takes care of her while her injuries heal. kink of choice is erotic lactation. very fluffy and sweet.

♥ Miranda Hilmarson ♥ (Top of the Lake, TV 2013-2017)

...but we could be (nsfw) -> part of kink!week. Miranda Hilmarson x Robin Griffin. Miranda starred in a lesbian gangbang porn video and she is very proud of it. Robin thinks Miranda that's absolutely nuts and she definitely doesn't want to see it, thank you very much... except somehow she finds herself in Miranda's apartment, watching it. why is Miranda's shirt see-through? and why is she so nice to Robin while Robin is actively trying to push everyone away?

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♥ kink!week ♥ masterlist

♥ sapphtober prompts ♥ (in progress)

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✼ you can buy me a coffee if you want to support me! ✼

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

writing requests are currently closed!

[summitclan-chronicles]

SUMMITCLAN CHRONICLES (SCC) is an 18+ roleplay inspired by xenofiction like Warrior Cats, Watership Down, Ratha's Creature, Zorba and Lucky, and the New York State Adirondacks.

Life is hard in the mountains. Creatures fight for every mouthful - for every birth is a death.

But does it have to be cruel forever, always? The cats of Summitclan came together not for battle but for the color of the leaves, the shine of the moon, the hush of fallen snow; together their ancestors brought forth a world where cats have carved a gentle soul into the slope of the harsh mountains. Where food is hidden away to feed the sick when the cold times come; where there are plants that quicken the healing of splintered bones; where one's newborns are always safe and loved. A kitten of Summitclan is a kitten that was told through act and word how wanted they were - and an elder never passes alone.

Life was hard in the mountains. So they changed how life was lived.

Could Summitclan be the perfect refuge, high on those wooded mountain peaks, in the eye of those ancestors who cared so deeply?

We offer you..

• A calm, loving, adult Warrior Cats community that assumes the best in you & others.

• A unique single-character model where every member has one cat with whom they experience Summitclan - in birth, through life, and in death.

• Exclusive lore and worldbuilding that must be taught to new generations & incomers.

• A system of real-time years and seasons with extended days and nights for extra roleplay time, with weather reflecting the Adirondacks themselves.

• A slow-burn style experience where characters are expanded upon as if they were living beings, evolving as they experience, conflict, learn, reflect and adapt.

• A series of unique festivals year-round to bring the community and clan together as a unit, each themed after a season and its associated needs.

• Resources and prompts members can access to give them ideas for interactions & relationships during slow periods or writer's blockages.

• Staff with high expectations and explicit instructions on how to settle disagreements and keep members lighthearted.

• A support system for less experienced roleplayers to learn from more experienced members.

• A stable design made to last beyond any single member, easily passed down so that it does not abruptly die.

And before you join, I want to inform you ...

This roleplay features feral cats living wild in the Adirondack Mountain Range. Everyday activities including hunting small to medium animals, possibly fending off small to large threats, cats being born + possibly not surviving long after, and cats recieving varying injuries, contracting varying sicknesses, or even losing their lives in tragic ways. All things will be handled with grace, and the roleplay is designed to be balanced rather than leaning toward good or bad events, but you will not be able to avoid these themes upon joining.

Who Are You Looking For?

We are looking for people that are creative, gentle, patient, open-minded, friendly and considerate. If you're someone who indulges in lightheartedness just as often as you do the dark side, and can see the gentle edge in everything, this might be for you...

Our Application:

Grand Opening applications have closed! This area will soon have a link to an app for kittens & loners.

[sattorntempura]

:) i would really appreciate it if you gave my oc a chance. If not, it's okay. *cries*

Hey, peeps. Lately, I've been going through this uuuuugly artblock for my main project. (This is my first post, scary, lol.. really nervous)

So, a few months back, I drew a Devil May Cry OC. The images are under the 'more' tab, but i would really appreciate it if you read this first. With this art block going on and the urge to draw something other than my main/serious project, I decided to make a small comic of my OC's childhood and how he ended up meeting the main/canon characters/crew.

And if you're new to the DMC world, hello, welcome! I hope this little comic will encourage you to check out the official games, it's pretty fun!

Try to guess who I ship him with... Hey, don't look at my pfp! That's cheating!

So yeah, there's going to be some sketches/panels of this ship. Dw, nothing too explicit/graphic. It's fluff, lol. I think that's what they call it? There's going to be more information regarding the dmc - oc comic in a future post.

I know there's a lot of different opinions when shipping an oc with a canon character, so that's why I added this little 'more' tab/bar below so in case you're not interested, you can scroll away :) for those who choose to stay and continue on, thank you.

My oc's name is Ezra. He was created when a cool friend of mine invited me to RP the DMC5 storyline with them. I was kinda nervous at first since it was my first time to ever RP with someone. I got the hang of it, though! And it was fun! (The next/future post will provide more information of that if anybody is interested. Since it's kinda the reason why Ezra exists in the first place.) I am not sure if I will include the RP events in this comic, since like I've mentioned, it took place in the DMC5 storyline, and its quite a lottt. Just like the canon game. So I might draw the day (i mean the in-game time) after the Qliphoth was taken down. Or summarize the DMC5 storyline. There's still a lot of time to think about it since I'm going to start off with the background of this character, then when he becomes an adult, and then when he meets the crew.

☝️ This is how the cover of my oc's DMC comic will look like. The title is blurred out because I am still debating whether I should change it or not. Lol, it's kinda edgy, I might keep it that way.

☝️These right here are adult/present Ezra and a few panels of Vergil. I am still experimenting with the way I draw Vergil since I want to have him look a little closer to the game than the way he looks in manga. (Which is hard since I prefer drawing the exact style of any series official art... Because if I do it in my own version, it never looks like the character. So yes, this is a challenge.)

The drawing with Ezra's full body is supposed to be Ezra holding his scythe over his shoulder, but I gave up on finishing it since I didn't like the way his coat looked. You can even tell from the different coats he has in the other panels/images...

The image with Ezra getting food poisoning was from eating Dante's food. This idea stems from all those memes with Dante creating unidentified matter, whereas other characters like Vergil make decent food.

The first image and 3rd image are actually linked together, hehe. I wonder if any of you know the tilted towers reference? Lol

☝️Another Vergil sketch. He is laid next to Ezra in bed. (You can see the pillow that Ezra is cuddling with peeking in that image, lol). This moment is related to Vergil's nightmares.

☝️ The first image out of the two is one out of the 2 closest friends BEFORE the DMC5 events. I think you will really like them. They've put a huge impact on Ezra's life and are the very reason for the way/who he is today. I still don't have a design for the other friend, that's why it's not provided here.

The second image is just baby Ezra, not having a clue what the adults are talking about. The adults definitely didn't call him that...

☝️Lastly, this is my reaction once I created this DMC OC and decided to ship him with Vergil. I have no clue why Samsung does this to my images once edited, lol.

The same friend mentioned before also had me create an OC for a game that they play, and I failed to not grow attached to this character. (What!? I created them. They're like my own children now!) I might show u guys how he looks like when I finish his design.

If you guys have any questions, feel free to hit that, uh, *checks profile*, Ask me anything button, I will try my best to respond. If I don't respond, it's because I am still a boomer to this app and don't know how to operate it. Another reason is because the answer to your question may be a spoiler.

Like I've mentioned before, information about the comic itself will be explained in the next post. I don't spam post, so don't worry about getting lost in my profile trying to look for more information. I will try to have a pinned(?) post, if this app allows me, where I can add links like the way I've seen other users on here do it.

Haha, I add lazy watermarks (even though my art ain't that worthy) because I've seen small artist get their art clapped by a-hole users without permission. This has also happened to me, but it was yeeeaaarrrsss ago. This is why I don't post much of my art nowadays. Especially with the "art" bot-stealing going around. I need to find a better way to not let it happen to my art ever again.

Thank you for taking the time to view this, I really appreciate it! If you are interested in my OC's journey in the DMC world, feel free to follow me. You might even see my art growth/process between the very start of the comic to the very end of it! I hope it gets better... lol, watch it get worse- they slowly transform into stickmen HAHA

[koosbabygrl]

|Ringmaster|• seokjin

Summary • Lured in by the sights and sounds of the most famous circus in town, events take a strange turn once you become part of the show. Genre • Dark yandere||Explicit||Smut - REPOST Pairing • Seokjin x reader TW • Non-con sexual intercourse, kidnapping, manipulation, drugging, bondage, sadistic jin, tickling kink, subtle urophilia, agalmatophilia, perversion, vomit, explicit sexual content, choking, unprotected sex, disassociation, DARK YANDERE, use of needle/drugs, controlling, non-con use of sex toy, non-con touching, non-con roleplay, obsessiveness, physical fight, mentions of trauma and mental health struggles. Word count • 10.2 k

•This is DARK yandere. Please do not read if these things trigger you. I do not condone or support these acts. My writing is purely fictional and does not truly represent any member.  

please don’t copy, steal, plagiarize, re-post, or otherwise use without permission  

The air smelled of stale popcorn, the sights and sounds bringing back a nostalgia you vaguely recollect from when you were younger. You can’t think back on the last time you went to such an event, as deluded as it was. Everything was designed to draw you in, trick you, manipulate and deceive you--yet the ambience of the grounds still drew people in. The main event was up ahead and you felt silly getting excited over something you’ve seen countless times through personal experience and television. As juvenile as it was, you couldn’t help but turn back to your friend with an excited smile.

“So they say this ringmaster is hot. He can be my ringmaster any day,” she comments smugly.

“Oh, shut up!” you tease, smacking your coworker on the arm. She made the offer to bring you to the circus after having received free tickets from a raffle she won at work. “We are here to see the ‘freak show’, not make eyes at the ringmaster.”

“Whatever. You know there is no such thing as a ‘freak’ anyway. Most of these people wear makeup and prosthetics to make them look unique. If you ask me, it’s quite offensive.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just funny how I get so excited just from the lights and the music. Does that make me weird?”

Your friend simply smiles and shoves you lightly into the tent. There were more people present than you expected and finding a seat was proving to be a problem. By some miraculous chance you spot exactly two seats right near the front row.

“Look, there’s some. Let’s hurry.”

Finally sitting, you take a moment to absorb your surroundings. Children and adults alike are eagerly waiting, the brilliant joy on their faces making you feel less like an oddball. It made sense to feel this way. Though not many people enjoyed the circus, something about the whole style of it incited curiosity. Before you could remove your jacket, the lights began to dim and the music faded. The spotlights dangling from the tent began their infamous swirling as the drums announcing the introduction of the ringmaster began their furious beat. With a sharp tug, the curtains on the left side of the ring opened swiftly, revealing a brightly colored podium with nothing but a black top hat neatly set on top of it.

The audience gasps when the main director was nowhere to be seen, joined by the floodlights that chaotically search around revealing nothing but an empty ring. “That wasn’t expected,” mocks your coworker, but you were way too caught up in the search wondering where the man of the hour had disappeared to.

“Stop ruining this. You’re such a party pooper.”

As your skeptical friend chuckles, your eyes return to the darkness surrounding the stage doing your best to adjust from the bright lights that rove around. And then, without a warning, a soft brush over the shell of your ear makes you turn in suspense.

“Shhh,” comes the sound over the mic, the owner of it still unknown. The audience stills and listens, already intoxicated by the entire show. “If you looked a little closer, you’d see I’m...right...over…here,” As he harshly whispers his last word, you jolt in response, totally confused and unsure about what was happening. Within seconds, the voice near you disappears leaving you a quivering mess.

“What the hell was…”

A sudden click of the lights brings darkness over the ring once again and for a few seconds all that could be heard were the whispers of wonder from the crowd. Then suddenly every single light comes back on revealing the entire ring floor and the mysterious master everyone was looking for.

“Come one! Come all to the greatest, most unique, highly coveted and amazing grand circus you’ll ever see. My name is Jin and I’ll be your ringmaster this evening.”

With a bow, he hops off his podium and swings back behind the curtains effectively triggering the next event to follow.

You watched him the entire night wondering how he managed to get so close to you without you even realizing. He was obviously very good at his job, and from the looks of it, your friend wasn’t lying about his attractiveness. The way he carried himself as he introduced each show, light on his feet, broad shoulders and a smile that could swoon the strongest heart, was quite astounding. You were a bit embarrassed to admit it, but you wouldn’t mind him cracking the whip over your…

“Earth to, ____. Did you hear anything I said?”

“Oh, sorry...no.”

“I told you he was hot. I’ll be back, just gonna grab a drink. Want anything?”

“No thank you.”

As soon as she walks off, you continue to focus on the man commanding the stage. He had an amazingly gorgeous purple jacket that shimmered in the light. It was obvious that every bead and stone sewn into it was done with great care. His black high boots compliment his long legs that are covered by black tights leaving nothing to the imagination. You wonder if maybe he was wearing a cup, the size definitely above average, but this certainly wasn’t a sports game.

Somewhere along the line he exchanged the whip in favor of a cane, and once again your mind began to wander into dangerous territory. The show was amazing to say the least and when it was all set and done, you were a little disappointed. Not wanting to end the night just yet, you find yourself staying behind as the crowd begins to leave.

“Hey, you coming? The bus should be here in twenty minutes.”

“No, you go ahead. I’m just gonna sit here for a minute and take it all in.”

“Oh really? You’ve got money for a cab? You’re a big baller now?”

She was being silly you knew, but it wasn’t a lie. You both chose to take the bus since you didn’t want to park downtown where everyone and their mother would be. Not to mention the ridiculous prices for parking in one of the event lots. As for the money, you weren’t exactly making what you were hoping, and still recovering from paying your mother’s medical expenses, you were trying to be as conservative as possible. Tonight, however, you needed a moment for you, and a few extra bucks weren’t going to matter in the long run.

“Very funny. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. You go on. I’m not looking forward to going over my report tonight, so let me have this.” You gesture a plea and she gives in easily.

“Yeah, yeah. Just watch your back. They might just recruit you to be a part of the freak show.”

“Ha, ha...very funny.” You mock her and wave your hand dismissively. She walks off leaving you alone, the sudden silence filling the room making you feel uncomfortable. It took you a few minutes, but you managed to stand up with a sigh. It was time for you to go. Hoping to catch the fried dough stand before it closes, you pick up your pace a little, your exit just a few feet away.

“Leaving so soon?”

A familiar voice stops you, though now it was less amplified without the microphone. You turn hoping to catch him this time, happy that you were quicker than before.

“Yeah. I’m not exactly a part of the show, though, I think I might fit in with the clowns.”

“Cute and witty. I was right.”

His compliment successfully catches your attention. “You were right?”

“Yes. When I saw you earlier tonight I knew you were unique...special.”

If it were any other man talking to you this way you would have turned and walked away, but the glimmer in his eyes and his flirting tone intrigue you. His looks were also quite captivating. Up close like this, you could see his pretty lips and perfect face. He had broader shoulders than what you remember, but the padding in his jacket made him look even wider.

“Ha, thanks. I’m hardly special. I really enjoyed your show tonight. If anything was special, it was that. I’d forgotten how much I love being captured by the wonder of it all.”

“It’s my pleasure. I’ve dedicated much time to perfecting it all. I’m very particular about how things should look and sound. It’s a hobby.”

“Well, I admire it. Anyway, I should get going if I’m going to finish looking over my report. Once again, thank you.”

“Wait.”

You stand still as Jin walks forward and stands before you. He eyes you quietly and then removes his jacket carefully placing it down on one of the seats. “Please don’t go. I rarely get to speak with one of my guests, and you are particularly beautiful if I do say so myself. Pardon my boldness but, would you like to come again tomorrow night? I can guarantee you the perfect seat with no distraction from the audience. Perhaps you could be part of the show?”

Never before had you been seduced by a man with such polite manners, and even less so, a man that was in charge of a circus. It was quite comical, but the look on his face meant he was very serious about his proposal. It was a strange way to ask someone on a date, but you felt flattered nonetheless. It’s not like you’ve been approached by a ringmaster before.

“Oh, wow. You really don’t have to. I mean...what would I even do? I’ve never done anything in front of an audience before.”

“You don’t have to do much of anything. You can sit in my private booth. It has plenty of curtains to conceal you and then when I call you out, you simply walk down the ramp over there and hold my top hat while I perform a magic trick.”

His explanation seemed easy enough and even though you felt nervous, it was a little hard to say no when he was smiling so beautifully at you.

“Yeah, sure--why not. This would certainly be a stress reliever. Okay, yeah. I’ll be here.”

“Great!”

The next night came quicker than you expected and not wanting to seem like a weirdo, you didn't mention to your coworker that you were going to go back to the very place you both mocked the day before. You didn’t want to admit it, but you felt shy, and knowing that the sexiest man you’ve ever seen was waiting for you made it even more difficult to control your breathing.

The crowd was already building, the atmosphere reminding you of the night before, except this time you would be a willing participant. A little bit confused about where exactly you should be going, your worries were quickly put to rest when a circus member came up to you.

“Hello, you must be our guest for tonight. Jin asked me to take you to his personal seating. Please follow me.”

As the member led you toward the location, you realized you hadn’t even told Jin your name the night before. You found it weird of him not to ask, but then again, the circumstances had been kinda weird.

As soon as you arrive you know it. The tent is beautiful, ornately designed with pretty gems and rhinestones--satin ribbons that were colored completely different than what a circus would be. The curtains were thick and behind them you could vaguely hear Jin’s voice booming during the show. Apparently it already began and you start to worry you may have arrived too late.

“Where do I go? What should I do?”

“Just enter here. Jin will do the rest.”

As vague as it sounded, you simply did as you were asked. Opening the curtains, you walk into a small room noticing the lovely chandelier hanging from the center, and the pink roses in vases on almost every surface. It was like a dreamland. Curious, you walk toward the curtain where you hear Jin’s voice the loudest. Though you want to take a longer look around the pretty space that surrounds you, the temptation to carefully pull back the fabric is too great. The first thing you see is the back of Jin’s form. You are drawn in by his voice and the way he commands the show. With a wave of his wrist, the lights go off and gasps are heard all around.

“Come to me, now.”

You know the command is for you, so you quickly make your way to him as best as you can. The only light guiding you were the tiny string lights on the floor. His hand finds you first and pulls you close enough for only you to hear his words.

“Take off your clothes and put this on.”

Your eyes open wide in shock and for a moment you weren’t sure if you’d heard him correctly. “Take off my clothes?”

“Yes, quickly now. The lights will be on shortly.”

Not wanting the entire whole of the audience to see you naked, and knowing that it was already dark so there was no possibility of him seeing you in your underwear, you do as he says. The fabric he hands you feels slightly heavy but soft. It was clearly a cloak of some kind. Wrapping it around your shoulders, you work to tie the ribbon at your neck, but the feel of a pair of hands at your waist is not something you were expecting.

“Wha--”

“Hush. I’m just helping you be quicker. We have five seconds.”

You could feel his fingers buttoning the front with practiced skill, and just as the lights came on, you slid your arms out of the side openings and stood in awe when the audience came back into view. It was a strange feeling standing there, the shadows cast by the floodlights making it hard for you to distinguish their faces. You felt the vomit begin to build in your throat, but Jin’s hand came to settle on your back, soft circular motions helping ease the sensation.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Tonight I have a lovely assistant to help me with my next trick. Please help me welcome…”

He turns then to glance at you and you blank. What in the hell was he getting at? Suddenly it hits you. Your name...he needed your name. “_____, my name is _____.”

“There you have it folks. Let’s give her a round of applause. Now, please pay close attention because I’m about to do what has never been attempted before. I will make this lovely lady disappear before your very eyes.”

You blink suddenly, panicking and unsure of what was taking place. He never told you about this part. He only mentioned a hat trick. What exactly were you supposed to do in front of all these people? You knew about magic tricks and how a lot of optical illusion was used, but you never practiced anything like this before. You swallow back your fears and try to go along with it. He was the greatest showman you’ve seen, so you simply put your trust in the fact that he knew what he was doing. His movements were hypnotizing, the audience’s attention drowning in the lights and sounds all around. You feel dizzy and it becomes hard to focus on anything he says. Your nerves are on edge and then without warning, a blanket of darkness surrounds you. Your feet lose stability, you feel yourself fall down and then land on a soft surface. What sounds like a trap door shuts above you and then there is silence. Without waiting, you remove the cloth sack that had somehow fallen on you and blow the hair out of your face.

Wherever you were, it was scary. There was barely any visual, just a low glow of light emitting from the corner. You crawl forward attempting to situate yourself and figure out where exactly you were, but metal bars are the first thing your fingers meet. It’s almost impossible to stand, so you hunch over walking the perimeter you were in realizing you were not in just any room. You were inside of a cage and it was no bigger than the size of a small bathroom. You can't make out much, so you use your hands as a guide to touch along every surface hoping that maybe there was a door you were supposed to exit from, but when you finally find it, a padlock prevents such a thing.

You didn’t want to jump to any conclusions or even panic because this must be part of the show and you were sure Jin or someone would come any minute to let you out. As you wait seated in the corner with your knees pulled up to your chest, the sounds above ring on and you can’t help getting more and more tired as you sit in the darkness waiting. It was the only thing you could do since you’d already convinced yourself that maybe they needed to end the show before they could come to you--they all had to be busy doing some part of the show, right?

It was way later, how long you weren’t sure, that a noise at the cage jolts you awake. “Hello! Oh thank God. I’ve been waiting for so lon--”

Jin was at the door, his presence looming due to the shadows that cast off his body and face. “Hey, you did so good, ____. Your name is really pretty. Come.”

He gestures with his hand and for some reason you hesitate a little. This had all gotten to be a bit too much and you had a bone to pick with him for leaving you in that cage for so long. When you reach the door, he puts out his hand and you grab it even though your anger was starting to build by the obvious lack of remorse from him.

“Jin, I don’t appreciate what you did. You changed the whole show and didn’t even warn me. And then...you left me alone in this cage for what seemed like hours. I want to go home.”

While you rant and walk ahead of Jin, you come to the realization that you don’t even know where you are going. This lower level is so dark and Jin’s presence behind you isn’t exactly comforting. He hasn’t said much and you start to feel incredibly uncomfortable by this whole situation.

“But you already are home.”

“Wha--”

You didn’t get the chance to spin around and look at him. The next thing you knew you were struggling in his grip, a cloth over your mouth, and then darkness.

With a dry mouth and sore neck, you rouse to consciousness slowly. As your body begins to awaken, you start to move around, unconsciously stretching your limbs, only to come to the realization that you can’t move your hands. “Wha--”

It doesn’t take long for you to realize you are tied down by your hands and feet. Your head is killing you and you feel like your throat is on fire, but none of that matters--you need to get out of wherever you are.

You begin to scream hoping that someone will hear you. Even though it hurts, you scream and scream, your tears suddenly making themselves present. In a moment of exhaustion, you bow your head to rest when the sound of a door opening sets your nerves on edge.

“My, my...what a loud, pretty mouth you have. I was hoping you’d make this easier. I didn’t use the needle this time. Your pretty skin is too precious to puncture, but I can see you’re not very grateful for my mercy.”

For a second you think you’re hallucinating. The words that are coming out of his mouth seem unreal, and if he weren’t standing right in front of you in his physical form, you would indeed believe you were dreaming. “What do you mean needle--w-what are you saying? What is this?”

“Hush, darling. You’re only going to make your headache worse and strain your throat. I rather like your voice. I was hoping to make you a talking doll. You wouldn’t want me to sew your lips together would you?”

That shut you right up. If there was ever a level of crazy in your opinion, Jin had surpassed it. Suddenly it all made sense, the robe, the blanket, the cage...this had all been planned. You instantly regret ever coming to the show and even thinking you could trust him. The man before you was a psychopath and now you were stuck. You can’t believe that he actually kidnapped you in front of an entire crowd and yet no one was the wiser.

“Good. See how good you are? I actually knew it the moment I saw you sitting up front at my show. I had to go see you right away. You did feel me, didn’t you? I was so close. God, you smelled like heaven. You have the perfect skin and hair...and when you smile...your teeth...ugh...I just love when I don’t have to do reconstruction on teeth. It’s always messier than it needs to be. OH! Before I forget, I have a dress for you.”

“What the fuck! Let me go...please...please let me go!” Whatever he was planning, you didn’t want to be a part of it. The more he spoke, the more you felt your skin crawl. You’ve only ever heard of fucked up shit like this in movies and to be honest you preferred to die instead of doing whatever the fuck it was he wanted to do.

“Hey...I asked you to be quiet.” He comes close when he speaks the word, the remaining rush of air coming from his lips blowing over your face. You want to gag, his nearness enough to make you nauseous. You turn your head away not wanting to look at him- but you can’t keep from crying. This whole thing felt like some sort of twisted joke. Biting your lip, you nod in agreement and it was enough for him to move away from you.

“Good girl. You may want to know that I like to dress up my dolls. It’s my favorite hobby. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I will need to remove your bra and panties and that will cause me to see your...privates. That’s okay, right? I mean, I would never touch you unless you wanted. I always leave it up to my dolls. After all, I need you to be smiley and happy. It’s been a long while since I’ve found another to be mine. My last doll...well...she wasn’t very good to me. After all I did for her--she was so ungrateful. It doesn’t matter now. She’s not around anymore. You have all my attention. So...where should we start?”

He walks forward and you flinch. You couldn’t help it. It was futile to try and hide it knowing that you were already as good as dead. Your chest heaves with the cries you can’t subdue, and there was nothing you could do to stop him since your arms and legs were tied.

“I usually use a knife to start--it helps me get the clothes off faster, but I’ve been a little sloppy at times and ended up ruining my perfect baby’s skin. I’m going to use these scissors instead. You ready?”

As he began to cut away at your clothes, you shut your mind down and pretended none of this was happening, that you weren’t really tied down in some lunatic's basement being stripped of your clothes and dignity. The faster you breathe, the more lightheaded you become. It didn’t take long for you to pass out.

“Aww, what a pity. I would have liked for you to see how pretty your clothes are. Oh well.”

As you lay unconscious, Jin cut away at your clothes. He took his time, eyes roaming over your body as if it were art in a museum. His fingers itch to touch, but he was a gentleman. He swiftly removes your boring clothes and then begins dressing you with the hand made clothes he had pre-made for you. It only took him one look to know exactly what would fit you. The baby pink cloth he chose was perfect against your skin. He knew it would be. There was no need for underwear, not when he could see the peak of your nipples showing through the transparent cloth so perfectly. You really were something to behold. Satisfied with his work, he pulls out his makeup kit and goes to work. This was his favorite part. Everything about you was more than he could ask for. The more he stares at you, and the more makeup he applies, the harder it is for him not to sneak a taste. Tenderly he bends down to kiss your lips and when you sigh he feels his heart constrict.

“So fucking perfect, darling. I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t resist.”

When everything is done, he gets up with a satisfied smile and leaves the room. He knew you’d need to rest before you put on his best show.

Once again you awoke to unfamiliar surroundings and your limbs bound. You were thirstier than you remember and the darkness all around you made you want to sleep more, but you couldn’t. There had to be a way to get out. You begin to struggle against the binds praying that maybe Jin wasn’t so good at tying, but a bright light suddenly pops on beaming right on you. You could barely see anything, the power of the bulb making your headache come back full force. The sound of clapping makes its way to you, and it was obvious it was a recording. What was definitely not a recording was the sound of Jin’s voice over the speakers in the room.

“Gentleman and gentleman!” he giggles. “Tonight we have a special show for you, yes only you because there’s only one of me!” Again he laughs. “Let’s give it up for ____, the prettiest doll you ever did see.”

Again the recorded clapping sounds all around you along with cheers, yet you know there was only one person in the room. Suddenly your arms start to get pulled up, along with your legs. You were being lifted up against your will and though you wanted to fight it, the height you were being taken to seems pretty far from the floor.

From somewhere in the darkness, Jin’s clapping and jeering has you searching. At this point you were beyond exhausted and you weren’t even sure how many hours you’d been trapped. You also felt so unlike yourself. Your body felt heavy and your head was spinning.

“Lovely! Look how pretty you are. Why don’t you give us a turn.”

The ropes holding you rotate your body and then drop your arms a bit forward so that you are bent forward with your hips elevated higher. They begin to tug your limps back and forth making it seem like you are dancing and every tug and pull only makes you feel sicker. Unable to hold back, you vomit all over the floor below you.

“Oh no! OH NO! This won’t do. My darling.”

You feel yourself getting lowered down softly until you’re settled in the pool of your own vomit. The next thing you feel are Jin’s hands lifting you up and carrying you off somewhere. Water droplets fall over your head and you realize you’ve been carried to a shower. It feels amazing and even though Jin removed your clothes, you didn’t care. Even when he begins cleaning your body and shampooing your hair, you just sit on the tiled floor letting him do it. You don’t register how he too was naked and that he was sporting an erection.

He carries you out of the bathroom all wrapped in a towel and sits you on a vanity chair. He brushes your hair and puts lotion over your skin, not once uttering a single word. When he’s all finished, he carries you to his bed and tucks you in. He knew the injection he gave you while you were passed out was too much, but he didn’t want you to wake up while he was still styling you for his show. He should’ve known when it took you much longer than the others to wake up. It was stupid of him to put you through it when you were such a fragile and soft baby. He caresses your face and hair as he lay next to you naked. You were both naked because let’s face it, he was greedy like that. He watches your eyelashes flutter and wonders what in the world you might be dreaming. Hopefully by the morning everything would be better.

Feeling like you’d been hit by a brick wall, you could barely move your arms, the soreness running from your neck down to the tips of your fingers. Your legs hurt as well and your stomach made an unpleasant sound. What the hell was happening? You try to turn but a vice-like grip over your waist keeps you in place. Slowly you turn your head to find that Jin is asleep and is holding you tight. As quietly as you can, you start to remove his hand and slide out of his grip. You make it a few steps before Jin’s voice startles you.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He spoke sleepily, not even making a move to grab you. It was like he knew you couldn’t go anywhere. That didn’t stop you from trying. Not looking back at him, you scan the room for anything that could help you make an escape. You spot the brush from last night and grab it quickly turning to fight him and then realize how stupid you were being. What could you possibly do with a brush?

This gets Jin’s attention. He sits up, the blanket laying over his hips revealing his upper body and abs. His hair was a shaggy mess and lips swollen from sleep. Were it another time or another Jin, you might say he looked good enough to eat, but this was not a normal man. He was a killer, with weird kinks you didn’t even want to think about. Whatever it was he was doing with you had made him your number one enemy, and there was no way you could see him in any sexual way.

“Come here, darling. What do you plan to do with that brush, hm? Why don’t you come back to bed. You must be so hungry after that wonderful display you put on last night. I must say, the floodlights left little to the imagination with the way your sheer clothes revealed….everything. It’s too bad you got sick. That was my fault. Come to bed, silly. Breakfast should be here any minute.”

His words remind you of the hunger you had suppressed and suddenly your belly starts to rumble. Even though it was tempting, you don’t move. Who knows what else he has up his sleeve.

When Jin senses your hesitance, his annoyance wells up. “I said come here, darling. Don’t make me come get you.”

Your body begins to shake, out of fear or hunger--you’re not sure. When he moves a leg off the bed, you quickly scurry to your side and sit down slowly eyeing him the entire time with the brush in your hand as your defense.

“Good girl. Now, give me the brush. You’ll need your hands for eating.”

“I don’t wan--”

“Brush. Now.”

You hand it hesitantly and then watch as he gets up off the bed and walks to the vanity, placing it down gently. It was so disgusting to see that somehow this little game he was playing was turning him on. He was partially aroused, and remembering your nakedness, you cover up quickly feeling sick to your stomach.

“Darling. I hate to have to do this but, you haven’t proven to me that you’re trustworthy. I already told you about the others and yet you want to test me. I really like you a lot. In fact, probably more than the others. I’ve never laid next to my other girls. You’re the first. That’s why it hurts me to have to tie you up again.”

“NO! Please. I-- I promise you don’t have to. I won’t--I mean..Please...don’t do that I won’t be bad again…”

Opening the drawer in front of him Jin grabs the ropes he used for his extracurricular activities and walks over to you. He hated that his body was making it obvious how much he liked you when he wanted to hold the power over you, but you had control over him--strangely. When he gets to your side of the bed, you are clearly ready to put up a fight and he wasn’t in the mood for it. His hand shoots out to your neck and tightens leaving you in shock.

“Don’t make me hurt you, ____. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. And after last night, with you getting sick from the injection, I wouldn’t want to force you another way. Remember, I’m a gentleman. Now be a good darling and give me your hands. If you’re worried about eating. I’ll feed you.”

You feel his thumb squeeze tighter and though your own hands grip against his in an attempt to escape, he is much stronger. Feeling yourself grow weak, you let your hands fall and give in to his will. Placing them in front of you, Jin quickly ties you up and locks you in place.

“There. You always look so lovely with ropes. This is why I consider you my prettiest doll. I’ve never seen anyone look as good as you do in the clothes I’ve made. It’s like you were made for them. With the ropes on and the makeup...the outfit...gahh…”

His hand slams against the headboard beside your head and he squeezes his thighs together, his free hand pressing down against the erection that’s been annoying him for hours. “Fuck! Do you see what you do to me? You’re my perfect doll. Can’t you see that? You were made for me. I can’t wait to put you in the next outfit I have for you. It comes with ribbons for your pigtails and---”

A knock at the door stops his discourse. He grabs a nearby robe and answers the door. When the food enters the room you almost want to cry. The smell is amazing and for a moment you forget everything else.

“Hungry, darling?”

This time you don’t hold back, nodding desperately wanting him to bring you the food immediately. You’re not sure how many days have gone by with the lack of windows and clocks in this prison you were in. You've been in and out of consciousness so many times, and honestly, your hunger was starting to be the most important thing right now.

“I didn’t know what you would like so I took the liberty of ordering everything. I have a wonderful staff here. They’re paid for their work and their silence. It’s quite amazing actually. I can focus on my career and my hobbies. So, how about some fruit?”

Whatever Jin was saying was not registering. Your eyes were focused on the food and nothing else. When Jin brought up a piece of fruit to your mouth, you took it eagerly, not caring if the juice dripped over your chin. He continued to feed you more and more, occasionally slipping a finger into your mouth hoping your tongue would lick over it. The more he fed you, the harder he got, the robe now rubbing over the tip of his length as he fidgeted in his seat.

“There, what a good darling you are. Feeling better?”

“Water please.”

Jin did not linger, quickly grabbing the glass of water and bringing it to your lips. When you begin to chug he tries to keep up with your demand, but his hand slips and he wets your entire neck and chest. “Shit, I’m sorry, doll. Let me.”

He removes the wet blanket that shields you and you jerk forward not wanting for him to see you, but it was too late. You were nude once again, and this time, Jin makes no attempt to hide the lust in his eyes.

“I don’t think I can wait any longer. I have your new outfit here...in this closet. I won’t put you in my stage room for this because I want this to be...for me...between us--intimate.”

You couldn’t help but to cry again, the sick and twisted games he was playing too much for you to handle. “No...please don’t make me do that. Jin, please let me go. I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I won’t tell anyone I promise. I’ll do anything...I--”

His hand over your mouth silences you. “___. You really like to run your mouth too much and...it’s driving me crazy. Your begging is so pretty, but please shut up. I know what’ll change your mind. Wait here.”

He seems way too happy when he runs to search in the drawer. You start tugging harshly against the ropes not caring that it was pulling against your skin and making it bleed. You’re so focused on it that when Jin comes up and tugs your legs down, you yelp in shock.

“DARLING! Stop or else it’s going to hurt.”

When you look down you see him holding a small object unfamiliar to you. He puts it into his mouth and pulls it out with a smile, satisfied with how his spit coats the surface. Another item calls your attention--lube? While he holds your legs down with one arm and half his body, his other hand works to lube the object and then he spreads your legs. You begin to fidget unsure of what he intends to do.

“LISTEN TO ME!”

His booming voice makes you stop instantly, the viciousness behind it making it clear you should give him your full attention.

“Okay good. Keep your legs still...you don't want that again do you?” He gestures to the needle on the dresser and you freeze.

“I see we speak the same language. Now, because I would never touch a lady without her permission, I’m going to need you to do something for me. Push this inside of you.”

Your mouth drops open the moment you realize what he is asking you to do. He is holding some sort of toy and for whatever sick reason he wants you to put it inside of yourself. Not wanting him to drug you again and even less for him to do it himself, you grab it and slide it in, your tears trailing over your cheeks the entire time.

Jin sits back and watches you, amazed at how much more compliant you’ve become. He was glad because he really did favor you above the others. As soon as it disappears inside of you, he grabs his phone and turns the dial to the lowest setting. Immediately you buck up and he smirks. “Good. Now let’s get you dressed.”

His outfit for you is sweet and simple. It wasn’t a typical doll outfit since it was more lace than cotton. He manages to include ribbons tied at your elbow and knees. The material is so revealing it looks like it belongs in a stripclub. There is an opening at your cunt allowing access to anyone wanting it--mainly him. He manages to tie your hair into pigtails and paint marionette markings on all your joints. The entire process takes him a few hours. While he works on you he plays with the controls on his phone increasing the vibrations inside of you slowly. As much as you try to hold back, a few orgasms rack your body.

When he finishes getting you ready, he stands back admiring his work. Out of all his previous babies, you were the most gorgeous. “You’re perfect, ___. This outfit was made for you. I am confident you’re going to put on an amazing show. This time we will be in here so there is no need to feel nervous. My eyes will be on you and nowhere else. Let’s set you up.”

He somehow managed to tie you to the high posts on the frame of his bed effectively getting you to stand. Everything happened so fast and with the distraction of the looming needle sitting on the dresser and the vibrating toy inside of you, Jin was able to get you to do exactly as he wished. You were splayed out, arms and legs open like a starfish, looking like a lamb ready for the slaughter. His low chuckle made you nauseous, but after your previous display, you didn’t want his hands on you anymore. The way he stood off in the corner of the room sitting back on his velvet chaise brewed a hatred within you that you never experienced before. If this fucker wanted a show, that’s exactly what you would do, but…

Another vibration forces your body to shudder. You can’t close your legs to stave off the stimulation nor can you pull it out. You can see part of your reflection to the right of you in the mirror on the dresser and it’s beyond degrading. The tiny pink string hanging out of you nauseates you, the foreign and unwelcome object making your head spin. If only you could pull it out and focus on that damned needle.

“Look at you. It’s cute--the way you act like you don’t want this. Your body tells me differently, baby. Look at your pretty nipples…so hard and sensitive. Does it hurt you when the lace rubs over them? You want to cum again, don’t you?”

When he goes to turn up the vibrator once again, you scream out. You can’t help it, the overstimulation is too much to bear and if he continues on like this you might pass out from exhaustion. “NO! NO...please no more. I c-can do--I can do it without the toy. P-please take it out. Let me s-show you.”

Your request captures Jin’s interest. Could it be that you were going to do a show for him all on your own? All his other disobedient girls needed motivation and never offered such a gift. He was tempted.

“Is that so? I kind of like you like this all whimpery and messy. Your thighs are so shiny from all the arousal you’re leaking, baby. Don’t you like how good I am to you?”

“I doo, I dooo, b-but...I can be better. I can be a good girl. Let me try. Please.” You hope he takes the bait because frankly, you had no other option. This was going to be the only opportunity as far as you could tell. There was no guarantee he’d let you be with him alone like this again, nor that he’d have a needle full of god knows what to knock you out. You wait and watch the decision playing over his features until another buzz shocks you into another orgasm.

Jin snickers as he watches your body convulse and then fall forward. The only thing sustaining you are the ropes he tied like a professional. It’s pretty amazing how good he’s gotten. The first few girls had successfully gotten free, but they never made it past the main hall. Pathetic little bitches. You, however, were tied up like a perfect little treat, unable to escape and drooling from the amount of orgasms he’s gifted your body. For a moment he enjoys the show, until a drop of blood lands on his sheets.

“Princess!” His voice shocks him, the worry laced within it unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He hops up and over to you, checking every inch of your body. When he finally reaches your face, he sees you’ve bitten your bottom lip hard--probably to keep from screaming out your pleasure. You were such a spirited and stubborn little thing.

“Okay, fine. I never do this, so consider yourself lucky. I’ll let you show me what you can. You need to hydrate first.”

Jin unties you and sets you on the bed where you sit in agony. The temptation to pull out the toy is still there, but now that you were free, you didn’t want to push your luck. He comes back with water and lets you drink. You’re thirstier than you realize, and almost want to sigh in pleasure at the feeling of flowing down your throat.

“There’s a good girl. So, tell me, did you still want this toy inside or not?”’

You almost spit out the water with how fast you answer him, “NO!”

“Have it your way,” Jin chuckles.

You hope he’s giving you the chance to remove it, but you should have known better. Kneeling before you, he opens your legs, letting his fingers slide softly up your thighs. When he reaches your center, he spreads your lips open and wraps the cord over his middle finger and pulls slowly.

The action causes your legs to shake, but you suppress it by pressing down on your knees with your palms. Jins stares up at you taking his sweet time removing the distressing device.

“There.” The popping sound it makes as he pulls it out is embarrassing, and as soon as he’s clear of your legs, you snap them closed and exhale.

Jin stands back and admires your flushed skin, the sweat on your brow, and the wetness coating the vibrator purchased especially for you. It was a pity you didn’t want to play with it anymore. He had so many wonderful plans for it, but at the moment he was more intrigued by whatever show you promised him. He stands back and leans against the dresser, the very same holding the syringe you so desperately want to reach.

Not wasting anymore time, and battling against complete and utter exhaustion, you stand to your feet and put on your best face. Using the frilly attire to your advantage, you run your hand up your thighs, over your belly and over your breasts. You sway your hips side to side slowly, a seductive dance you hope will ensnare him. His eyes are glued to you already, the attention making you feel strangely powerful. Sliding your hands back behind your neck, you feather your hair over your arms and bring one back over your face and onto your lips. Making sure to lock eyes with him, you notice his flicker to your lips where your fingers are currently playing with your tongue, fingertips running gently over it and slowly entering your mouth.

“Enough!” Jin growls, his patience having run its course.

It looks like he’s about to move away from the very place you need him to be and before you can walk over to pin him, he storms towards you. A hand comes to your throat and the force of it forces your feet backward. The edge of the bed meets your calves and now completely out of control, Jin takes over and lifts you onto the bed. There is nothing you can do, not when his hands are rushing to remove every inch of your clothing. He rips at the frilly material as if it were paper and pins your hands above your head with one of his own. He doesn’t bother to take off his robe, his cock already peeking through the opening on the front.

At this point you’re beyond exhausted, the idea of even escaping slowly slipping away. He drags one of his hands up your body, fingernails slowly trailing over your skin and belly. He moves them around lightly, the pads brushing over your flesh in featherlight strokes creating a tickling sensation you can barely endure. You want to cry out, beg him to stop, but your voice is completely gone. You almost start giggling, the soft strokes over your skin assaulting your most sensitive parts. You squeeze your thighs together, the tickling beginning to stir your bladder.

“You think you can go on teasing me like this, princess? I think I’ve been patient enough, don’t you think? How dare you be so fucking sexy? None of my other girls were as perfect as you. I’m sorry for what I’m about to do, but I can’t wait any longer. You do want me, right?”

You close your eyes already knowing what’s coming. His warm breath over your face steals your breath away and you just lay there defeated. You’d fought him all day and there was no fight left in you. He takes your lack of response as permission, and the moment he enters you, he almost cries out in euphoria.

There is no doubt about his size. He’s big and thick. He doesn’t push in aggressively, but takes his time, almost like he wants to enjoy every single second. He kisses over your neck and chin as if the tenderness would make this situation any better. The truth was, you didn’t want him and you didn’t want this. At first you were attracted to him, but now knowing what a crazy animal he is, you have no desire to be near him whatsoever.

With his own hands, he adjusts your body and hips, securing your legs over his waist in order to press himself deeper. Slowly he rolls his hips and settles himself to the hilt. The feeling overwhelms him, the sensation of finally filling you making him dizzy. He doesn’t take advantage of you, no, that wasn’t his style. You obviously wanted him, otherwise why would you have cum so many times, why would you be soaked and dripping just for him right now? You showed him as much when you did your dirty little dance for him. He had to let you know that your little display was unacceptable and that none of his dolls were allowed to be filthy sluts. This was just his way of teaching you that no one else was allowed to enjoy or even delight in the temptation that is you. You’d learn really quickly what it meant to be his, or else.

Though you try to fight the feeling of pleasure slowly rising, it’s next to near impossible. Your body is already extremely sensitive and he knows this, using your momentarily vulnerability to his advantage. He knows exactly what he’s doing. His fingers tug at your nipples, teeth nip over your skin, and fingers stroke over your clit perfectly. Surprisingly he’s more gentle than you expect. Your traitorous body begins to accept the touch, your skin already prickling and orgasm on the verge of assaulting you.

“That’s it my pretty darling. I always knew you’d give yourself to me like this. Are you going to cum all over my dick--make me the happiest man on this earth? I’ve been waiting for so long. Show me how sorry you are for being such a dirty whore.”

His words press upon your neck leaving a permanent mark on you, solidifying his possession. You want to say no--scream at him to get off of you and die, but his fingers work faster, and before you know it, you’re screaming out your orgasm instead. It’s incredibly potent, the last few hours of edging and teasing only serving to shatter you entirely. Before you can come back down to earth, his thrusts become sloppy and desperate, and within seconds, he emptying himself completely, and dropping down to the side of you heaving and huffing.

“Fuck!” He doesn’t remember the last time he came so hard, and the other girls most certainly never got him so worked up. You were more than he ever dreamed he’d have. There was no way he would let you go.

It only takes you a moment to catch your breath before the realization of time slowing down hits you. If not now, then when? While Jin lays back catching his breath, you jolt up off the bed running to the dresser. As soon as the needle is in your hand, you turn to attack and find that he’s already made it halfway off the mattress--one leg on the bed and the other on the floor.

“___, my love. What do you think you’re doing?”

The sound of his voice is like nails on a chalkboard and the fear coursing through you makes you feel slightly weak. You fight the desire to fall to the ground in a pathetic heap, now focused on the adrenaline driving you.

“Fuck you! I won’t be your little puppet anymore you sick fuck!”

You pace carefully, keeping your back close to the exit hoping the door isn’t locked. Jin continues moving off the bed, careful not to make any sudden movements. Your body is on high alert, anything he does or says your complete focus.

“Don’t you fucking move! Don’t you dare. I’m leaving. Let me the fuck out!”

For some reason Jin knows you mean every word, and not wanting you to hurt yourself, he complies, pressing the button by his bedside table. You hear the bolts unlock, the sound music to your ears. You begin to cry knowing the possibility of escape is so close. Your chest rocks with the heaves you can barely contain. You walk backwards, careful not to trip. When your hand comes in contact with the doorknob, you twist it open, needle still in hand and pointed at Jin.

Temporarily distracted with your freedom, you miss it when Jin runs forward to grab you. You scream and fall to the ground with him. Clawing at whatever you can, you press your fingers into his eyes, skin, and face. You don’t know where the needle has gone, the entire scuffle causing it to fall from your hand. Although Jin is strong, at the moment your will to live is stronger. You can feel him struggling to control you and when he tries to pin you down, you almost break down at the possibility of defeat, but the flash of the drug you need to knock this demon down catches your eyes. You reach out successfully grabbing it. It only takes a moment, but you manage to free a bit of your arms and jab the needle right into his neck. Pressing the plunger down, you inject him full of the drug he used on you not days ago. You hope it’ll have the same effect on him as it did you--leave him sick and so out of it he can’t even move.

Jin feels the moment it penetrates his skin and reaches for it with weak hands. Pulling it out, he works to focus his eyes, the surprise written all over his face. “How could you?”

He freezes and then drops right on top of your body heavily. The weight is too much, but with the little strength you have left, you push him off of you, exhaling feebly. There is no doubt of how much you wish to remain on the floor resting, the entire day’s events rendering you a pathetic excuse of a woman, but there is no time for it. Attempting to right yourself, you stand to your feet, eyes never leaving the lifeless body on the floor. You don’t think he’s dead, or at least you don't know, but there was no time to dwell on any of that. You make it to the door you managed to open earlier and walk out into a dimly lit hall. There is no way of knowing what time it is, but based on the food you got earlier, you would say it had to be mid afternoon.

As quiet as a mouse you tiptoe down the long path and end up at a bend that leads you to a large room. The windows seem to be darkened by thick curtains so it makes it hard for you to see where you are going. It’s not like you remember seeing any of this when the entire time you’ve been his captive he had you drugged. Grabbing a throw you see laying over the couch, you wrap it over your body as best as you can. Using your instincts, you walk toward an area you hope might have an exit, and with luck on your side you find an elevator. You call for it, fear curdling in your belly. If someone were to find you now you’d be unable to fight them off. The ding of it’s arrival stops your heart, and when the doors open, you release the breath you were holding, happy that it’s empty.

You choose the first floor and end up coming upon a large kitchen. The silence is eerie and it feels as if someone will pop out on you at any moment. Walking a little further you find a large door and what appears to be your salvation. You unlock the door and turn the knob not expecting the loud sound of a blaring alarm. You don’t wait to see who will show up now that your absence was announced.

You run out into the light of the day, the brightness from the sun above blinding you. None of this stops you, however. You walk into the yard realizing that this part of the house looked completely normal, almost like it was just a normal home in a suburban community. Your body gives you one last boost enabling you to run and unlock the wooden fence at the end of the opening. Just as you walk out you hear someone calling your name, but it was too late. You don’t bother turning back, certain that one of Jin’s staff probably realized you escaped. With freedom literally within your grasp, you manage to walk a few steps before hearing several gasps and then children before falling to the ground with a hard thud.

Sitting at your desk, you watch the cursor mindlessly, your thoughts straying to a memory you’ve been working hard to forget. In a few hours you’d be meeting with your therapist, someone who’s been able to get you through the past four years of life. You can’t help but feel small, especially on a day like today--the anniversary of when it all went down.

“____, you okay?”

You turn to your left to find your friend Taehyung who somehow managed to creep his way into your heart. His sweet demeanor and soft exterior made you think of him as a teddy bear, and that is exactly what he was when he knew you needed a hug.

“Yea. I’m good.” You smile at him to assure him, but the truth is, he had no idea. None of your co-workers did. After everything that happened, it took you a year to even begin a new life. You were so afraid to socialize, and meeting new people had your red flags waving every single time. With time, you slowly learned to let some people in and enter society once again.

The day you escaped, you barely made it a few steps out of Jin’s backyard before collapsing in front of a family who was having a barbecue outside of their garage. They immediately called the police and within hours Jin had been arrested and all of his properties and assets seized. As you lay in the hospital recovering, the district attorney took down the entire circus and interrogated every single person employed by Jin. Most of the workers were clueless, while a handful knew exactly what had been taking place for the last seven years in his godforsaken circus. You were not the first victim, but you had been the last. Although the authorities made it clear to you that your nightmare would be locked up for good, there was always that paranoia deep within--the one that made you look over your shoulder more than normal people, and lock every single door at night. You never opened your windows and you most certainly never went out alone.

“Okay good. Jimin and I were wondering if you wanted to go out with us tonight. He got some tickets to a show.”

It was cute how they always invited you knowing you were a loner, but it always felt like you were always the third wheel. “No, it’s okay. You take your lover to the show without me. I’ll be in the way.”

“Stop that, silly. You’re never in the way. Besides, Jimin got all these free tickets to the traveling circus and we have to get rid of them. Do you know anyone else that might want to come?”

You freeze, chest now constricted and heartbeat racing. It couldn’t be, Jin was put away, his circus was shut down...there was no way he was back…

“What did you s-say…”

[adarkrainbow]

As it turns out, I should never say "never" because despite what I claimed earlier, I still have one more "Hansel and Gretel" post to make! This one I wanted to make for a long time but simply forgot about, and so I'll make it now to conclude my long series of "Hansel and Gretel" posts. (I also do think it is time to make a new masterpost soon)

And in this post, I want to talk about Neil Gaiman's Hansel and Gretel.

"What?" you ask. "Neil Gaiman did a Hansel and Gretel story? When? Where?". And indeed, many people seem to have overlooked it, but the author of pieces such as "Coraline", "The Graveyard Book", "Sandman", "Stardust" and many more has done an illustrated book for children retelling the story of Hansel and Grtel - with accompanying illustrations by Lorenzo Mattoti. Illustrations that do set the tone for the story, since they are black and white illustrations in the style of shadow-puppets, presenting small, featureless characters in vast, enormous, dark landscapes.

It was released all the way back in 2014 (October or November if I recall well?)

Given this book as made for children, and not much talked about, it is a bit hard to get, and is not placed on the same shelves as Gaiman's other adult and teenage-oriented works. I personally only could have an experience of the story by listened to "read-through" and audio versions of the book, unable to get any physical copy - but maybe it is just because live in France? I don't know.

But of course I cannot ignore what Neil friggn' Gaiman would have done with "Hansel and Gretel". Neil Gaiman is famous for his fairytale-inspired works, but to my knowledge most of what he did was either fairytale-fantasy (Coraline, Stardust), either dark, mature and twisted retellngs of fairytales (Snow, Glass, Apples ; The Sleeper and the Spindle). I think it was the first time Neil Gaiman did a straight retelling of a fairytale, directly aimed at children.

Which is fascinating because I read something about it in a book recently. Remember when I told you about this book about fairytale villains - a book which disappointed me because it wasn't a character study and more of a general look at the publication and "sanitization" of fairytales today. Well this book still contained fascinating parts and tidbits - and one of them was an explanation that, the rewrite of a classic fairytale for children was one of those "initiation rites" or "obligatory steps" in a writer's career. The writing - not the invention, but the rewrite - of a famous fairytale is one of the most common "exercice of style" a writer can perform. Because they are forced to keep the basic story, the main plotline, the core tale, and can't change it too much... But they have to shine by the little details. The tone of the story, the way they fill some plotholes, or how they smooth or erase certain details, or certain traits they give to the characters. Little details, little changes, but that reflect how well they handle a story or what message they want to carry through the tale.

And what are those small changes Gaiman brings to the tale? I won't copy-paste the whole story here of course, but be warned of spoilers as I will break down the little things Gaiman added or changed compared with the original tale.

The opening of the tale pecises that it was uring the time of the reader/listenr's "grandmothers", or perhaps in the time of their grandmothers' grandfathers. All in all, it was back when "we all lived at the edge of the great forest".

There is an explicit mention that Gretel is the oldest sister, Hansel the youngest, and they are two years apart. Gretel used to be called Greta, and her birthname is Margaret ; while Hansel's birthname was "Hans", which his parents turned to Hansel because "they could not make it shorter".

Neil Gaiman depicts a specific family life for the children. Hansel and Gretel did not go to school, because school was far away from the forest near which they lived, and it needed money - too much money for the humble life of a woodcutter. However their father "taught them the way of the woods", while their mother taught them skills such as sewing, cooking and cleaning. Hansel and Gretel's parents were not the best in the world - their mother was bitter and sharp-tongued, and their father was a sullen man always eager to be away from his little house. But the children were happy as long as they could play in the forest, climb on trees, swim in nearby trees - and have enough food. The narration details the different foods and meals the family could afford during the "better days", when their father was paid well for his wood. Regular meals involved cabbages, fresh bread, eggs, things of the sort - and when they had more money, their father bought meat from the butcher, or a live animal that they killed and ate themselves. But even then, there was still some beast to capture in the woods - some rabbits to catch or ducks to find. The narrator insists "There was always food". [Oh yes, forgot to mention - no stepmother here, Gaiman reused the original story involving only the children's mother]

The reason for the family's bad situation is explicitly referred to as a war followed by a famine. It began when soldiers arrived and stole the cabbages, the chickens and the ducks - they were men motivated by a mixture of anger, hunger, boredom and fear. The local farmers were either taken and forced to be new soldiers, or killed by other soldiers - their fields either burned by the war, or left to rot since nobody could tend to them. Hansel and Gretel's own house was located far away from the war, and their father never knew why the soldiers went fighting or who they were fighting - all they knew that was there was the war, and the soldiers were fighting. But the household felt the effect of the war as the butcher lacked meat to sell, the baker didn't have any more flour to bake, and the family could only have scarse and bad or stale food.

The dialogue where the mother convinces her husband to abandon the children relies on emotion vs logic. The mother acts purely and entirely out of logic - and even claims it herself. She says that it is better for two people to die than four ; she explains that if the father doesn't eat and deprive himself for his children, he won't be able to cut the wood/earn money and they'll all die of starvation ; she also adds that it isn't about killing the children, but about losing them in the woods. Maybe some kind stranger will help them and care for them! she says - only for the father to reply in anger "Maybe a bear will devour them!". But despite's the father emotional refusal, the mother still ends up convincing him somehow. (There is also the mention that Hansel was listening to the conversation because he was so hungry he couldn't sleep - though he said nothing and refused to complain, given he knew how difficult the situation was)

The clue that makes Hansel understand his father accepted their mother's idea is because one morning he claims he will take the children into the woods and teach them how to cut the wood - something which is unusual since before their father always refused to let them accompany him to work, saying the woods were too dangerous for children.

The father here asks the children to sit down in a grove of birch trees and wait for him: he creates a small fire for them to sit by, and even offers them his lunch, promising to return for them. Hansel knows he won't - but Gretel stays convinced that they must wait and that their father is merely "delayed", until finally she has to admit he won't come back. (Hopefully Hansel had prepared the pebbles)

When the children return to their house, their father (who has been noted to have a crimson face and teary eyes, as if he had been crying and drinking) is so happy he offers them two syrup-covered cherries. This is no random decision, as they are kept in a jar in the house - a jar which once was full but now is almost empty. And as the children slowly savor their cherries, their mother, pale and with pinched leeps, looks hungrily at the four leftover cherries in the jar...

The next attempt at losing the children (and this second one is the successful one) happens a few weeks after the first. This time Hansel is caught unprepared, as their father announces he takes them in the woods one morning, right now, on the spot, without Hansel having heard anything the night before. This is why he must use one of the two freshly-baked loaves of bread their mother baked them for the morning.

There is an insistance on how deep and far their father takes them, compared to the first time. They pass by creepy trees that look like "scraping and scratching hands", then their father helps them cross a river, showing them where to go and where it's too deep ; they reach a deeper part of the forest where the enormous twisted trees as like "giants frozen in time", and there is the poetic line of the thorns and brambles of the forest constantly gripping the clothes of the kids, as if to try to keep them here and prevent them from going further.

The second time they are abandoned, it is Gretel who is the first to admit and recognize their father won't be coming back - showing that she learned from her first experience.

When the children discover the birds (wood pigeons) eating the bread, while Hansel says nothing, Gretel takes pity upon them, commenting that even the animals of the forest are hungry.

It is not a bird that attracts the children to the house - but the sweet and warm smell of gingerbread, that Hansel catches first, and then Gretel. A smell of honey cakes, and ginger, and spices, that makes their stomach hurt and makes them run with hunger towards the source of the scent.

The house of the witch is described as smaller than the one of Hansel and Gretel, and made of fresh gingerbread. It is decorated with green and red candies of hard-sugar, and the window panes are also clear sugar.

Like in the first-edition version of the Grimm tale (which obviously seems to be Gaman's main source), the witch does have a creepy little rhyme as she comes out of the house "Who nibbles my house? Is it a mouse?" she says with a gentle and amused voice), and the children do not answer, speechless (but their mouth too full). However, as the narrator points out, they are relieved after a moment of scare, to see that it is "no ogre or monster" that comes out of te house, but a "kindly-faced old woman with dim eyes", hobbling around and using a cane/stick to walk.

The inside of the house is described as having just a single room, with a "huge brick oven" on one end. The other main furniture of the house is a table, though later the text also mentions two little beds prepared for Hansel and Gretel (but that are quickly removed after their first night), and the witch's own bed.

The meal the old woman first offers the children is made of candied fruits, cakes, pies, cookies, biscuits, and all sorts of other delicious treats - but as the children note, there is absolutely no meat. When asked about it, the old woman has a long explanation which is FILLED with creepy foreshadowing. The woman says that she has grown too old and too short-sighted to be hunting animals in the forest. That now, all she can do is "lay her bait" in the forest and hope it catches something - and she complains that even if she does manage to capture something, the creature will be too scrawny and need a good fattening up. "But now that you are here, perhaps now there will be meat once again".

The deep sleep the children fall into after their first meal at the woman's house is explicitly caused by drugs that the old woman placed in their food. Now, the VERY interesting thing in Neil Gaiman's retelling is that nowhere the word "witch" appears in the story. It is clear that the old woman has magic - but she is never called anything else than "the old woman", leaving her true nature more ambiguous. The only "reveal" the narrator tells us after confirming that the children were drugged into sleep, is that the old woman was much stronger than she let them believed - as she had a horrible, "sinewy" strength to her.

Hansel is locked up in a cage with rusty metal bars, inside a stable behind the house - with nothing in it but straw and a "few ancient, well-chewed bones". Every day she serves him lots of food, "cakes, potatoes, candied fruits, puddings, gruels, crumbles" and many more dishes. She also stays by his side until he finishes everything - and carefully listens to make sure he eats every dish until there is nothing, poking him with her stick if he ever complains about being too full or unable to eat. Gretel, meanwhile, finds herself chained to the table and unable to leave the house - in fact she doesn't see her brother until the end of te tale, staying alone with no contact with him for a very long time. The old woman forces Gretel to clean the house and cook for her, and if she doesn't do her chores quick enough, the old one beats her and insults her.

Neil Gaiman adds a fascinating detail to the way the old woman treats Gretel. When she is in a good mood, she promises to care for Gretel, and to protect her as she will grow into a woman. She also promises to teach her all her secrets, three of which are explicitely named: to call the birds down from the trees (implying she might have sent the wood pigeons devour their food, though it is a subtext monly) ; to ensnare travellers (the scent of the gingerbread house was described in ways implying it was much more powerful than regular gingerbread scent should be) ; and to make sure anyone that comes to the cottage never leaves. But, as the narrator points out, an hour or so after each of these promises, the old one would be back to scolding Gretel and telling her she was a good for nothing. Gretel in turn barely speaks to the old woman, merely saying one word or two, to the point the old woman starts to believe she might be a "half-wit".

One month or so after first being imprisoned, the old woman decides to eat Hansel because she has been running out of patience - but she still doesn't want to eat Gretel apparently. In fact she has this horrible line, "We will roast your brother, but do not be sad: I'll give you the bones to chew, little one." And when, after playing dumb, Gretel pushes the old woman into the oven, there is another great line: "The girl had learned more from the woman than she thought."

After burning the old woman, Gretel steals her keys from under the woman's pillow and sets herself and her brother free, and they hug in the sunshine... But Neil Gaiman insists on the fear and slight trauma the two kids went through. Gretel doesn't just push the old woman and lock the door - she holds the door tight, she listens until the horrible screams of the woman die out, and still then she fears of letting go of the door, fearing the hag would somehow come back from the fire and crawl out of the oven. And when she sets Hansel free, she is puzzled and she marvels at two things 1) at how her little brother turned into a "plump young man" (after all she hasn't seen him for a whole month, during which he was force-fed fattening witch-food) and 2) at how he mysteriously holds a little bone in his hand, as if his whole life depended on it (the reader knows why Hansel clings on to this bone ; Gretel does not).

The children still make sure the old woman is truly dead: they return to the house (now filled with the smell of burned human flesh), and once the oven cooled down they open it to see the charcoaled, blackened husk of their tormentor... And a little iron key that, as they discover, opens a chest beneath the old woman's bed. Said best contains all the treasures she took from the many travellers that came to her house: gloves, hats, rings set with rubies and diamonds, gold coins and silver coins, chains of gold and of silver, pearl necklaces, clothes of satin and silk... The children quickly replace their old rags with new clothes from the chest, put all the jewels, gems and coins they can in a big bag, and leave the house.

Since Neil Gaiman based his retelling on the first-edition version of the tale, there is no duck to help the children cross the stream. They simply come across the same river they had encountered at the beginning of the tale, and use what their father had taught them then, so as to cross in the most shallow area of the water. They then return to the part of the forest they are the more familiar with - the one where they played and climbed on trees. And fnally they return home...

They do not dare get too close to their home, but they still call out to their parents. Their father answers, overwhelmed with joy, confessing he couldn't sleep or find peace ever since he abandoned them, and that he searched for them every day. The children ask where their mother is - explaining they brought enough riches for her to eat whatever she wants, go wherever she wants, and never fear hunger again. Their father silently gestures at the grave he dug for her. Here the narrator offers several reasons why their mother died: maybe she died of hunger? Maybe something "ate her from the inside". Maybe she died of anger? Maybe she died because of the loss of her children? But ultimately, as the narrator concludes, we will never know.

After doing the traditional conclusion about how the family never lacked anything again, always had food on their table, and solved most of their problems with the newfound wealth, the story goes on for a few more paragraphs. It explains that Hansel and Gretel each ended up marrying happily (though the story does not mention who they married), and that there was so much food at their wedding feasts that the guests "had their belts burst, and fat dripping from their chins". The fairytale concludes with: "And the pale moon looked kindly upon them all."

[newsiesficchallenges]

Would you maybe be willing to go over the process of tagging on ao3? I've never used it before so I can figure out most of it but the entire posting process is new to me

Of course! 

If you don’t mind, I’m just going to cover all of it, because you aren’t the first person to ask this. 

So- tagging! 

In simple terms, tags have the same purpose on AO3 that they do on Tumblr. They’re to inform you of the content, summarize and warn, and to help organize the search system. They can be complicated, and daunting, but can also be largely unique if one so chooses. I’ll explain how in a minute! 

By adding a tag, you are inserting your work into a list, or a system, of other works that fall under the same category. For example: if you are writing a Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski work, and you tag that relationship, the work will show up when you search that relationship. It’s one of AO3’s best features, and a way an author can gain popularity in a fandom. 

Now, starting at the top of your AO3 form, we have the rating. Now, I like to think of your rating as a movie rating. Everyone has a little bit of a different view on these, but for our collective purpose of explanations, let’s use this standard guide. 

The first one is general audiences. This is a PG rated movie. Minimal language, some sexual and adult jokes that might fly over someone’s head, and little to no violence. You would let your 11yo cousin read this fic and not be concerned. 

The next is teen and up audiences. This is your PG-13, TV-14. We’ve got curses going around, but not all of them. Sexual jokes, light sexual content that probably doesn’t go very far. If there’s violence, it’s Marvel movie, see blood but no gore style. 

Mature is where things get interesting. Say whatever you want, have the smut scenes, and shoot outs in the alleyways. Children aren’t allowed into this R-rated movie, but we all know it’s for the 15+ girlies who are reading on their computers in the dark. 

And explicit is anything goes, basically. If you’re reading an explicit fic, and you get surprised by what you see, that’s a you problem. ‘Tis the smuttiest of the smut, the most hardcore violence and angst, and characters run rampant in their actions and words. 

And then we have the warnings! These are what I consider to be the most important, because a lot of these things are triggers. It’s pretty self-explanatory, as you can pick and choose anything that applies. 

Fandoms is also pretty self-explanatory. You use AO3’s list of fandoms, and click whatever fandom you’re writing for. For this exchange, you would type Newsies, and select the options and forms of the show you took inspiration from. 

Categories is more confusing, I think, primarily because one can never decide if you want to click every button that applies, or just the important ones. In my personal experiences, I tend to just click whatever option represents the main ship I’m writing for, and then make sure I tag anything that doesn’t fit that category in the relationships tags. You are definitely free to select everything, though!

Relationships is pretty important, just for information purposes. Most people search AO3 through specific relationships they want to read, and so I make sure to tag everything I can, just for algorithm and accessibility reasons. You can tag the romantic relationships (the ones with the / between the two character names), platonic relationships (the ones with the & between the character names), and everything in between, depending on how you want your fic viewed, and how you want it sorted in the tagging system (by this, I mean if you want it put in the list of ‘x’ (ex. Harley Keener/Peter Parker) works, falling under a specific tag). And if you want viewers to be aware of the different relationships, especially the romantic and platonic ones, always double check that you have selected the right tag (again, for romantic there’s a /, and for platonic there’s a &).

Characters are also important, but I want to stress that you do not need to tag all of the character that appear in your fics. I would simply tag the ones the work focuses around, or that have an impact on the story. It will take you forever to tag everyone if you’re writing a longer story. 

Additional tags is another very confusing thing. A lot of people view them as similar to Tumblr tags, like I said earlier, and this is where you can have some originality, like the Tumblr tags. When I am adding additional tags, I will read the story as I tag it, and make sure I add tags that apply to the important bits. You can keep it professional, with just the tags that will help get you more readers, and trigger warnings; or you can have fun with it, and simply put your thoughts about the work there, as another summary; or you can do a mixture of both. I do a mixture, and will add tags that add the work to popular searches, and add a running commentary/summary as I do so. This part is completely up to you, and you can explore what you want to put by typing random letters or names (things will pop up by either most common or alphabetical order, depending on what you’re typing) into the search bar, just to see what shows. My main suggestion- and pretty steadfast requirement for this exchange- is that you make sure you have a tag for plot points that might be triggering for some. Other than that, the world is your oyster!

That’s it! Hope that helps! If you have any more questions, let me know! 

[vegitoswife]

(previous account, archive for past works.)

🔞 minors do not engage please. 🔞

nebula / neb ✨ 21+ ✨ black ✨ they/she ✨ aroace demifemale 🌈

Hi! I love Vegito. And Gogeta. But mostly Vegito. I'll be using this account to primarily host my ficworks for them, be they headcanons or more focused narratives, since there's a stunning lack of literature-based love for them on the web. I'm open to requests for either character!

⚠️ I experience writer's block / burnout easily, so don't expect fast updates. ⚠️

More information below the cut:

I'm a bit of an X Reader writer, but I diverge from the standard format. Character trait specifics will be kept as vague as possible so people can more easily insert themselves or an aspect of themselves, like an OC, into them; so prompts may be adjusted in my text to fit this style. I will write...basically anything? Limits are in the "WONT'S" list below. I always reserve the right to turn down any requests I don't want to do for any reason.

BYF / GUIDELINES !

WON'TS:

Character x Character

Others' OCs x Character

Race-specific inserts outside of Black inserts*

Inserts with specific disorders or disabilities**

Yandere inserts or characters

Adult x Teen/Child

Explicit violence

Sexually explicit material / NSFW requests, unless they're tied to a prompt list I reblogged or if I openly ask for them.

*Only if being Black is relevant to the prompt itself. If race or culture aren't factors or wouldn't come up naturally, then the specification is pointless. **My text likely wouldn't give those subjects the accuracy & respect they deserve.

One request per person only! Once I finish your request, you're welcome to submit another one.

As I write for my own enjoyment first and others' second, I project and be as self-indulgent as I like, so! Gender Neutral inserts are at the highest priority, with Female inserts being below them. While I'm not opposed to Male inserts, I'll be more selective with prompts for them.

For NSFW: genitalia of inserts will be kept vague if possible by default, but female-based genitals are mostly ok specification wise. I'll be HIGHLY selective with prompts involving specifically male-based genitals.

I do have a Self Insert/OC-blend I ship with Vegito, and content for that pairing may appear here. It will be tagged with this: '#ship ;; amito', so blacklist that if you don't want to see it.

This account was originally more selfshipping-orientated with the whole F/O list shebang, but I distanced myself from that community and don't really put much focus on it anymore. I'm just here to love my fictional men. I *don't* mind if selfship accounts follow me though.

Lastly, don't sweat about a DNI. I operate on a "fuck around & find out" basis. If you get blocked by me, you merely crossed a line. I won't be deliberately trying to stir up trouble.

Links !

My writings.

Vegito-based.

Gogeta-based.

SS4 Gogeta-based.

Gush posts.

Current "promo".

Ongoing !

Boyfriend Scenario series (TBA).

credits:

purple star divider.

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Your answer to anon's question about your favorite character makes me wonder: what was you first incest ship? Also, do you think there's a particular reason this kind shipping that piqued your interest?

oh you’re so silly, my first naughty ship was Sirius/Regulus of course!

but now that I think about it, it was sort of a weird winding journey to get there 🤔

I think like a lot of people I had a bit of a crush on Sirius black as a child, so he was my favorite Harry Potter character from early on, and then when I started flittering about the internet looking for fan content, I gravitated towards him

one of the first fics I ever wrote was Unable are the Loved to Die and that was wayyyy back in…oof, 2005? Between Books 5 & 6, sometime when I was either in late elementary school or early middle school. And contrary to the fic’s final form on FF.net a few years later, it was originally….not overtly incestuous 😝 I think I *wanted* it to be though. Because it still *felt* that way, my preteen brain probably just hadn’t really realized just what it was I wanted to explore.

then I discovered LiveJournal, a little past its prime unfortunately, but back then a lot of accounts and blogs were still up so I dove in *deep* and ended up finding a Sirius Black big bang that I gobbled up, and it was all pretty normal gen or Sirius/Remus stuff (that pairing was called “puppy shipping” back then)….until…the last posted fic in the fest showed up, which was written by a woman named Annie who, according to her LJ, was a classic lit major (We can already tell this is a dangerous combination for someone as pretentious as me).

her fic was called Palimpsest and it had the most gorgeous art by a creator called magrat_me. It was also explicit Sirius/Regulus, the first I’d ever seen. And I fell SO HARD in love with it.

the fact that the first incest fic I read was so beautifully crafted and written by someone with actual literature experience was probably a big factor in why the pairing stuck with me so hard. I bounced from that author’s profile to a bunch of other LJ folks with similar levels of syrupy, pretentious, flowery writing styles and in the course of like a week I think I read every Sirius/Regulus and James/Regulus fic on the site

I wish I could have chatted more with that author because everything I’ve ever written has literally been her fault. But she was a real adult and had clearly moved on from most of LJ and fandom by the time I found her stuff so I just sort of lurked. I did reach out once, years later when I saw the links to Palimpsest were broken and I felt like I might *die* because of it. (Idiot me hadn’t yet learned the hard lesson of saving online content.) And she was sweet enough to not only respond to a DM on a site she hadn’t touched in years but also to resend me the fic 😭 which I now guard quite closely, it’s not gonna get away from me again lol

after my fall into degeneracy I actually went back and changed that first fic I wrote, Unable are the loved to die. It’s properly cesty now, as it was always meant to be 😅

modern discussions about the morality of consuming questionable fiction and protecting children from iffy fic content and such always seems so alien to me because it never came up in my own formative fandom years. (I’m sure it was around, I just skirted by it.) no one anywhere at any point in time in my early days of hoovering up every Sirius/Regulus fic I could find mentioned anything about it being “wrong”. So I never internalized any guilt or shame or confusion. When teenage-me realized how dark my fiction preferences were turning it seemed pretty clear why.

I just find it interesting. I have a pretty normal and stable life, and so the darker and more bizarre corners of humanity are fascinating in a way that happiness just isn’t. “Well adjusted person lives life of moral correctness” is just zero percent interesting to me. And I’ve never felt it went deeper than that.

I’ve always been confident in my ability to consume media critically, and without the need for the works themselves to guide me directly towards the correct opinion. Looking back now this is largely thanks to my mother and her willingness to share any book with me that I wanted to read, and get me to any film I wanted to see. Sometimes things would be scary or wrong or offensive but that just meant it was time to think about *why* and get some good practice handling those feelings.

my family doesn’t read my fanfiction, but they all *know*. My partner in particular is a pretty good sport, love him lol. But my mother has read a bit of my original fiction, which is all just as deranged. And the only question she’s ever asked in response to forty chapters of brothers fucking and murdering each other is: “when are you going to get off your ass and publish something people can buy?”

now that I’ve spewed out an entire confessional on how I became infected with a fifteen year-long Sirius/Regulus brain rot and then diverged into a topic you didn’t even *ask* about…how about you?

let me know if your journey was just as crazy or if you’re a normal person 😅

[denimbex1986]

'Forty years on from the year in which it is set, and released on the date of Winston Smith’s first diary entry, George Orwell’s seminal dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty-Four (not 1984, despite how this most recent retelling has chosen to style the title) has received perhaps its highest-profile adaptation since Michael Radford’s film. Andrew Garfield plays the reluctantly rebellious Winston, and man-of-the-moment Andrew Scott is a smoothly vicious O’Brien. Cynthia Erivo makes for a suitably feisty Julia, and Tom Hardy reprises his Bane boom as Big Brother, although his contributions are wisely kept to a minimum. The talented supporting cast includes What We Do In The Shadows’s Natasia Demetriou and Black Mirror’s Alex Lawther, and the score is co-composed by Muse’s Matt Bellamy. Lavish cinema and television ads have brought the show to worldwide attention, and yet it’s likely to receive a fraction of the interest that, say, Ripley will obtain. Why? Because it’s an audio drama.

Granted, Audible’s new production of Nineteen Eighty-Four, which is billed as a disturbing, adult-focused and immersive experience, is a million miles away from a distinguished actor reading an audiobook version of Orwell’s novel. At times, it goes further than you might expect in terms of the sex and violence quotient; there is a love scene between Garfield and Erivo that, somehow, manages to be wildly explicit without showing anything visual (one can only imagine what it was like for the actors to record that particular scene), and there are nasty scenes of torture and violence that are none less chilling for being conveyed through a mixture of dialogue and sound effects. (Yes, Room 101 gets its full measure.) Muse fans, meanwhile, will be thrilled by Bellamy’s score, co-composed by Ilan Eshkeri and performed by a sixty-piece orchestra, that blends somber strings and piano with percussive electronic beats.

Director Destiny Ekaragha and screenwriter Joe White should be commended for a faithful and smoothly gripping adaptation that adds in a few successful set-pieces, such as Winston having an attack of paranoia on the train that his minor acts of rebellion are about to result in his immediate arrest. If it’s listened to on headphones in a public place, as it no doubt is supposed to be, Nineteen Eighty-Four becomes a deliciously chilling immersion in literary paranoia; you’re standing around your fellow citizens wondering which of them you’re going to fall in love with, which of them will betray you — and whether that will be the same person.

Clearly, Audible intends this to be a marker in a series of blockbuster literary adaptations that will change the face (or, rather, ear) of the genre. There was a Sam Mendes-overseen David Copperfield last year, with Helena Bonham Carter as Betsey Trotwood and Doctor Who’s Ncuti Gatwa as Copperfield, but it barely shifted the dial in terms of audience awareness. Ninety Eighty-Four feels different, and not just because of its A-list participants, rock star composer and dread-laden subject matter.

In a year where the word “Orwellian” is likely to be used more than usual in the course of the British and American elections alike, and where any tech blogger will write lazy articles talking about the way in which Big Brother, Newspeak and the rest have become part of our daily social media culture, it’s good to be reminded of the power of the original, translated into this new form.

Yet I remain unconvinced that this will be the crossover blockbuster success that Audible so clearly believe it will. Enjoy it for what it is — a few hours of sumptuously conceived and acted Orwelliana — and let’s leave the question of whether this will eventually come to replace visual entertainment out of the equation. Until, that is, Christopher Nolan is recruited to write and direct an immersive audio adaptation. Then we’re talking.'

[starkindustrics]

also quickly jumping on-board once again in a fleeting double occurrence to put some feelers out here for...

anybody who writes alexander claremont-diaz !!!

would love to have someone to write my henry with on discord, so do let me know if that is something you'd be keen on.

i'm looking for someone who is:

just as comfortable with script as they are with multipara

keen on worldbuilding and developing character depth

over 18 and open to threads of an explicit nature

are willing to write on discord exclusively

here's what i bring to the table:

a roleplay writer with over 10 years of experience, having written across multiple fandoms including mcu, marvel 616, heartstopper, TMFU, kingsman, and more.

great knack for character-driven story arcs

adult trauma a flexible degree of adaptability between writing styles

[zheightgeist]

Quitting AI, Not Why You'd Think

I had a long and successful career with ChatGPT, honestly. I know people are railing against it on principle, not fully understanding what it can do and what it's capable of. Absolutely, writers should feel threatened by it, not because it produces a quality product but because it likely ripped off their work in its construction.

But my experience with it was largely positive. I always got the warnings, blah-blah-blah can't produce explicit content, but I also got very good at leading it to produce its own explicit content. You'd think OpenAI would be interested in talking with me, to learn how I gamed its own system to get it to produce some really crass, graphic sexual content, but no. Places like that only want to build stronger and higher walls, not learn and grow.

And anyway, it just feeds into my basic resentment toward these organizations that practice zero tolerance toward lovemaking between consensual adults, yet have no stated restrictions against Nazis, hate speech, christofascism, and bigotry. If anything, like in the cases of Substack and Stripe, they find these offensive practices far too lucrative to ever cut off. People who bitch about porn are outsiders, listening to propaganda and misinformation about it, with no education and no idea how to consume it.

Example: Some attention-starved jackass pirates a clip from a porn film, where a man's fucking a woman doggy-style, from behind. That's all you can see, but the jackass uploads it on a shared site, describing it in terms that describe his personal fantasy: "Stepbro Woke Me by Fucking Me Hard" but with more typos. There's nothing in the video that suggests any kind of relationship: it's just a very toned, hairless man having sex with a male-gaze sexdoll, and that's it. But the detractors of porn will claim that some form of incest is taking place, and what's this going to do to the kids, etc.

Well, for one thing, if these puritanical hypocrites weren't so busy shutting down libraries and removing sexual health content from the schools, maybe kids wouldn't be forced to seek out porn to answer their basic and natural questions about biology.

My point is, the critics take this stuff at face value, when it serves their interests. In other cases, they interpret what's happening in the worst way, to suit their agenda. You're all too young to remember Attorney General Edwin Meese's Final Report on Pornography, but in this indictment on porn he likewise cherry-picked source material (he excluded lesbian porn, being too threatened by empowered women seeking their own bliss without men) and contrived the worst interpretations of what he did find. I mean, he's a conservative, so he's going to lie to fulfill his agenda, but still.

My position, as I study the participants of porn and the reviewers of porn and the philosophy of ethical porn, is increasingly that this is a fundamental and primal aspect of the human condition that should be protected, if anything. If people are concerned about abuse and human trafficking, fucking address that. Go after the pedophiles and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law, with prejudice. But if a lonely or horny adult wants to see two beautiful adults fucking each other, gently or hard, there should be no law prohibiting this. Those actors should be protected like any other. They're selling their bodies at least as much as any coal miner or construction worker, and far more than any fucking landlord.

Suppressing this shit only makes it worse, measurably worse. Look at any religious institution that bans marriage out of wedlock or enforces celibacy in its leadership. Each week, the news is full of how badly this practice runs awry, in the ugliest ways. It's priests, pastors, and evangelists who are raping children and raping underage family members and covering up thousands of victims' cases, not porn stars. Yet religious groups still feel they have any position from which to spread lies and condemnation—it illustrates the depth of their hypocrisy.

Wow, I got way off track. I just see all these things connected, everything existing within a system. I write about couples finding creative ways to have sex, but I can't sell my work through PayPal or Stripe because they feel it's their role to enforce morality upon Western society. They claim that porn's a "high risk" category, when actually it was their prudish censorship that drove Tumblr's worth down 99.8%. For that matter, porn created the first secure online financial transaction programs out of necessity, the same goddamn structure that PayPal and Stripe now capitalize on. And Stripe terminated my account, but transferred $7,000 in ad revenue from Twitter to DC_Draino, an avowed white supremacist and misogynist who'd been banned from Twitter prior to the Faulknerian idiot man-child's purchase of it.

So. Stripe's fine with Nazis, but not with lovemaking. In their Prohibited and Restricted Businesses statement, they call out "Pornography and other mature audience content (including literature, imagery and other media) depicting nudity or explicit sexual acts" but nowhere do they forbid anything resembling hate speech or bigotry.

When I pointed this out to them, when I asked their rationale for supporting Nazis, they literally replied "we do not permit adult content." They refused to address the question and then they stopped responding.

So yeah, protecting porn has become part of my platform for protecting freedom of expression. And no, enabling Nazi propaganda does not fall under this (or "freedom of speech" as the profoundly uninformed put it). Tolerance is a social agreement: if you don't agree to it, you're not covered by it, and fascism is all about gaining power to destroy freedom of expression. Anti-intellectuals suggest that fascism can be defeated in the "marketplace of ideas," but what is left to debate after a fucking century of fighting fascism? What fresh, new ideas do we need to hear from Nazis? That's all bullshit, and they know it is, they're just bad-faith actors wasting everyone's time and energy by making them explain it over and over.

Yet Substack will retain and support literal Nazis on their platform, under the aegis of preserving "freedom of speech," while censoring adult content. The CEO of Patreon will go on an alt-right talk show to extol defending "freedom of speech," then suspend an indie news org at the behest of the Proud Boys and terminate adult content accounts where he can find them. Stripe will facilitate the payment of Nazis, while censoring adult content. Hate is too profitable, and love has to be quashed where it's found. That's what our dual governments, the one in Washington DC and the one on Wall Street, are legislating.

So I'm done playing with ChatGPT. I'll build something useful from our collaboration, and I'll find a way to sell it (and pirates in other countries will seize it and distribute it for personal gain (fuck pirates)), but I'm not playing around with ChatGPT anymore. ChatGPT won't suffer for it, though hopefully someday some other smut writer will receive the benefit of my transgressive programming, and in a small way I'll have achieved immortality. Not that I want that, not in a world like this.

[rc-appreciationweeks]

Hello! Planning to contribute on #BeMyRCValentine? Awesome! 💘

To make it a great experience for all, we have put together a FAQ for your convenience:

Q: How do I make sure you see my work?

A: Easy! Use the tag #BeMyRCValentine and be sure to link @rc-appreciationweeks. Our mods will check regularly for new content. Post to your own blog and we’ll pick it up!

Alternatively, submissions are open and we will schedule your content for the appropriate day (or day of your request). If you have any questions about what day your content fits under, don’t hesitate to send us a message!

Q: What kind of things should I post in each day?

A: For Day 1 (themed Day), think: fluffy, sweet, tender things. Dates, love language, gifts, serendipity, first kisses, new love, old love... All those warm and fuzzy feelings! 💘💕💘

For Day 2 (themed Night), think: heavier, maybe even angsty content fits here. Missed connections, longing, last kisses... But also, this is where spicy content is especially welcome! 😏 Despite what Vlad believes, darkness can be a good thing 😤

Q: Do my creations have to include Valentine's Day?

A: No! The idea is mostly to inspire creation and appreciation for your favorite RC love interests. Valentine's Day is a day of love, so as long as your creations are themed around love, you're good! And as always, we welcome all types of content, length, style and so on. We even want to see your WIP if that’s all you had time for.

Q: I would like to share something NSFW, can I?

A: For this event, we especially encourage spicy content! But to make sure that only the people who would like to see it see it, we ask that you tag your content with #valentinespice. If it is especially explicit (think the 95💎 CGs, or something that you wouldn't want the old lady on the bus stop to accidentally see on your phone 💀 — in general, things that would belong in a R-rated movie), we ask you to kindly put it under the cut. And finally, please make sure we're talking consenting adults all around!

Q: How do I avoid suggestive and 18+ content?

A: You can avoid those creations by filtering/blacklisting the tag #valentinespice. For instructions on how to do that, please check this article.

Our mods considered using the community labels, but in all honesty, we are concerned about being shadowbanned 😅 We believe this solution will work and will allow us to have a good event for all!

Q: How should I use “the cut”?

A: First of all, thank you for thinking of your fellow RC fan! It would be great to use the cut or “Read More” option in your post if your content has a content warning on it and/or if your post is more than 1000 words long.

“Why cut at 1000 words?” Great question. You see, scrolling over really really long posts is just not very reader friendly, and many will not reblog content that takes more than a short hand gesture to get past. That’s why we recommend you hide the rest of your masterpiece around the 1000 word mark for us to reblog without feeling awkward about clogging up the feed with all this incredible content. We thank you in advance!

If you have any additional questions, don’t be shy - our ask is open 24/7, including Sundays.

[halfseoulco]

"3D", KPOP in the West, & Artist Obligations

Published Wednesday, October 18th, 2023 — As global superstars BTS take further steps into what they've dubbed the Chapter 2 of their careers, it's been both interesting and rewarding to see each member put so much of themselves into their respective solo releases—especially since the vocal line, aside from OSTs, covers, and singles, had not yet released their own official solo projects (or mixtapes, as they had been called, since RM [2015], mono. [2018], Hope World [2018], Agust D [2015], and D-2 [2020] were released for free). j-hope's Jack in the Box (2022) came as a significant surprise after the bright, colorful experience that was Hope World, but otherwise, each member's solo album has turned out to be what was expected of them based on what is known in regards to their personalities, preferred musical styles, and personal tastes in music.

But what might arguably be considered the most anticipated solo debut was Jungkook's, as ARMYs were eager to see who the youngest of the seven-member group is without the rest of his bandmates. Of the seven, Jungkook has perhaps gone through the most obvious changes—the famous lip piercing (although the eyebrow piercing is sorely missed), the various tattoos, and other mostly physical changes to his image. His promotions with Calvin Klein broke the Internet and his debut solo single, "Seven (feat. Latto)", showed off a new, more mature side of the Golden Maknae that elicited mixed reactions from ARMYs and also laid the groundwork for his next single, "3D", which features Jack Harlow.

Shedding the "Baby" Persona & "Seven"

I think in some ways that being Jeon Jungkook must feel like being a Disney Channel star or any other artist who became big for something that they spend the rest of their life trying to get away from (e.g. Daniel Radcliffe and his desire to be known for something other than being Harry Potter). Combined with the tendency for Western society to infantilize Asian people and the Korean cultural norms for the youngest of any group to be doted upon and always seen as the baby, the most shocking part about Jungkook's solo releases so far is that it really shouldn't be shocking at all.

Having just turned 26 in September, Jungkook has probably been ready for quite some time to leave the image of BTS's maknae behind him. The man certainly doesn't look like a baby and even if he does look young for his age, the fact of the matter is that he is a grown adult. The nature of the KPOP industry makes it difficult for idols to talk about dating or sex—let alone actually date or have sex, at least in a public capacity—and because of the artist-fan relationship, it has been in idols' best interests to act like those things don't exist for them. "Seven" was the beginning of Jungkook not pretending that he's not thinking about or doesn't want those things—because it's not inherently bad or shameful to want them. Regardless of his maknae status in his group, he's still a fully grown man with his own agency, so if Jeon Jungkook wants to make music about having sex seven days a week, he can do that.

Unreasonable fans aside, if the basis for the counterargument is that there is already so much hypersexualization in Western music and media that we don't want to see it in KPOP, I think that's valid. The draw for many KPOP fans is that overall, KPOP presents such a stark contrast to Western music with its variety of concepts and differences in cultural norms. However, I don't even necessarily think that "Seven" is as raunchy as some people have made it out to be. Latto's feature is a little nasty (nasty in the good way, not nasty in the bad way) and Jungkook does say "fucking" in the explicit version of the song, but I think that compared to some of the songs that come out of the Western music industry, it's not even really what anyone could consider inappropriate. It's not demeaning, it's not aggressive, and he's not singing about women in a misogynistic way. In fact, I would go so far as to say that "Seven" is kind of cute; and if Jungkook wants to say "fuck"—or even if he wants to actually fuck—then he can.

This is something I will talk about more later on in this piece but as an additional point, we already know that BTS has become bigger than the KPOP industry and they've already crossed into the Western market with "Dynamite" (2020), "Butter" (2021), and "Permission to Dance" (2021). Whether you like it or not—and personally, I don't really care for this particular move as a business tactic but I really like "Permission to Dance"—the groundwork has already been laid for them to continue to grow their presence in the U.S. especially. If Jungkook and Big Hit Music want to put out a little something something for the locals, that's their prerogative.

"3D (feat. Jack Harlow)"

Strictly speaking, I don't listen to the radio anymore, not unless I'm in the car with someone who listens to the radio. I have little awareness as to what's going on in Western music in terms of new releases unless I hear it on social media—but one of the things about living in the age of the Internet is that you still hear things even if you're not actively searching for that information.

I have definitely heard some things about Jack Harlow. I've never listened to his music but I know that he has a certain reputation. When Big Hit Music announced the release of "3D", I tried not to have any expectations about his feature; and when the song came out, I didn't listen to it right away because my group chat had nothing good to say about his lines. Honestly, I was a little terrified.

I ended up listening to both the original and the alternate version the next day and I think you only need one guess as to which version made it onto my main playlist.

Whenever BTS collaborates with Western artists, there are ARMYs who always say that we're here to support BTS first, so even if we don't like the feature that much, we should still purchase and stream as much as we can to support BTS. I agree to a certain extent; I don't like Charlie Puth (or Charles, as my friends and I like to call him), but I like "Left And Right" (2022) well enough and I like Jungkook, so I tried my best to support it when it came out. Based on streaming rules and all that, I believe only purchases and streams of the original song featuring Jack Harlow count for charting, which is unfortunate but that's just how the game works.

I offer up all my apologies to Jungkook but there is nothing anyone can do to make me listen to anything other than the alternate version of "3D" from here on out.

Having watched the music video for "3D" a few times now via my favorite reaction channel on YouTube, my disgust from my initial listen-through of the song has only continued to compound. Considering that Namjoon had admitted in an interview with Nightline in 2021 that as part of their efforts to promote gender equality in their music he had a women's studies professor review his lyrics following criticism regarding misogyny in BTS's earlier years, I'm extremely shocked that Big Hit Music gave Jack Harlow's feature the green light. Regardless of the quality of the lyricism or how it played with the flow of the music, the actual content leaves much to be desired and is offensive on multiple fronts. I want to emphasize that this is not because of the song's sexuality, which, as I expressed earlier in the section about "Seven", is within Jungkook's right to express as an artist and as an adult. But knowing how much BTS has worked towards promoting equality for people of all genders, races, and orientations, the blatant misogyny and racism (via the "ABG" stereotype) has no place in the kind of music they've worked so hard to put out.

When I expressed my opinions regarding Jack Harlow's participation in "3D" to a friend who doesn't listen to KPOP, their response was, "Well, yeah, it's Jack Harlow", which not only made me feel justified in my response to the song but also confirmed for me that his lyrics in "3D" are not unusual for him; and while I looked into his background a little bit and saw that he is known for making donations to various charitable organizations and worthy causes and speaking up about his white privilege and how he approaches his music with that in mind, there is nothing that can convince me that someone who took all those actions publicly can also write the lyrics that are in "3D" in good conscience.

I don't want anyone to take this as me placing the blame on Jungkook for his collaboration with Jack Harlow but this particular conversation is a little tricky. On the one hand, I don't think that Big Hit Music has complete control over every little thing its artists do (and note that I say Big Hit Music and not HYBE, since the former operates independently), but at the same time, I think that the more likely situation is that the artists have some say but not all the say. If it wasn't Jungkook's choice to work with Jack Harlow in the first place, then we could say that this was a bad move on the company's part and that someone should have taken the time to go over his proposed lyrics before they recorded and released the song. Another possibility is that Big Hit Music knew exactly what they were doing and knew that there would be backlash so they released the alternate version without Jack Harlow's feature—because, as you know, there is no version of "Seven" without Latto. If that's the case, well, color me disappointed but not surprised.

KPOP in the Western Market

Personally, as a Korean American, I am and have been over the KPOP industry's need for validation from the Western music industry. While I am here to support my favorite artists' endeavors to make it onto Billboard charts and win Grammys, I wish that they would free themselves of the idea that they need to achieve certain things in the Western market in order to be considered successful and stop caring about them because that is just colonization in its modern form. The Western music industry will never truly see KPOP as a valid form of music or artform—hence the various awards that they make up specifically for KPOP groups instead of placing them in the same category as other mainstream artists—so why play a game that's been set up for their failure from the start? Plus, these awards shows know that KPOP, while still not being considered mainstream, is a popular niche genre; and they're not above using these industry leaders for views even though they have no intention of giving them an award—as seen at the 2022 Grammy awards when they placed BTS at the end of the show so that ARMYs would watch the whole show and increase their viewership and then didn't give them anything.

I don't think that KPOP groups necessarily need to break into the Western market in order to be successful. KPOP fans are already on the lookout for content and potential tours in their home states or cities; and I think that KPOP groups benefit the most from targeting their existing fans rather than trying to entice the locals because even those locals are more likely to get into KPOP based on the recommendation of their friends than through songs that are only in English. And of course I'm not in any way trying to discount any fans who discovered their favorite group after seeing them perform Korean songs on Jimmy Fallon or other U.S. based shows, but those people are probably already more open-minded to begin with. There is so much xenophobia in the U.S. and other Western countries that even though they notice the popularity of KPOP, aside from using them for views and/or financial gain, you will never really be able to convince the general public that you can indeed appreciate music that's sung in a language you don't speak.

There is still a very large U.S. presence in South Korea today that has a certain amount of influence on how Koreans in general may feel about needing to adhere to specific standards that are distinctly American or Western in nature, which is something I discussed in my think piece regarding BTS's enlistment and the history of Korean conscription. There is some pressure to play nice, as the U.S. "helped" prevent the North Koreans and Communist China from taking over the entire country, but as South Korea starts to come into their own, there may come a time in the future when they realize that they don't want or need the U.S. within their borders any longer—and maybe then KPOP artists will stop caring about Billboard charts and fake awards.

Until that day, the reality is that any Korean entertainment company—yes, even our dear, beloved HYBE—is a business, and their biggest concern is making money. There is, of course, discourse as to which companies are "good" and which ones are "bad" but at the end of the day, they're all running a business to make money using artists as their capital. The Western market, particularly in the U.S., is huge. You can fit five South Koreas in California alone, physically, and the potential for increased sales and streams is alluring. KPOP agencies have been making partnerships with American record labels left and right over the past few years, giving birth to both iconic collaborations and some that leave something to be desired. Because the push is to make music that will become popular on social media and start TikTok challenges that people can easily participate in, this catering to the general public runs the risk of alienating fans who have been loyal for years; and the influx of remixes featuring Western artists that are released on single CDs and heavily promoted have taken away some of the enjoyment of being a KPOP fan. That's not to say that some of these collabs are not good—some of them are great. But are they ever my favorite songs on the album? No, not really. I appreciate the range of artists, though.

At the risk of sounding like I'm enabling a certain "pick me" attitude that some people have about being KPOP fans (in the sense that they think of themselves as better than other people because they listen to music in Korean, which is a kind of fetishization that people don't like to acknowledge), as I mentioned earlier, the draw of KPOP isn't that it sounds like Western pop music. The appeal comes from how different it is; and if KPOP keeps trying to make itself palatable for the Western ear, then it's going to lose that appeal—and that's speaking purely from a practical, business perspective. I also want to emphasize that I am not necessarily lumping in groups' English tracks in this statement. I'm not the biggest fan of them but I don't think that a group is lesser than for releasing them. It takes a lot of courage to put out music in a language you don't speak fluently, and many groups' English tracks have brought fans a lot of happiness.

On that note, however, the other trend that I personally find problematic is the idea of "global" KPOP groups. Please note that this is not about gatekeeping KPOP, because KPOP is free to be enjoyed by anyone regardless of who they are. However, as I mentioned previously, South Korea is currently still occupied by the U.S., and while it has been skillfully covered up by mainstream media, South Koreans would actually very much like for the U.S. to be out of their country. It's true that U.S. presence has introduced many genres that are popular in Western music to South Korea (including genres that were created by black musicians), which allowed KPOP to build an industry that is known for blending genres and creating new sounds, but at its core, KPOP is something so distinctly and uniquely Korean; and most Koreans are very proud of the impact that Korean pop culture has had on the rest of the world because of KPOP. Talent can be sourced from many places but the practice of bringing non-Korean or non-Asian artists into a KPOP group reeks of colonization. If you think about it, colonization has happened more or less the same way in every instance: a larger world power takes notice of a smaller, less developed country with resources from which they can profit and then they take over to exploit those resources for their own benefit. In the same way, everyone wants a piece of the KPOP pie and when Korean or even Asian members are the minority in the group, it's no longer a KPOP group and more of a group that's doing KPOP. There are some people who would argue that what makes it KPOP is that it's sung in Korean but that's not exactly true. KPOP is a wholly comprehensive experience that includes the music, the choreography, the styling, the concepts, and the storytelling, as well as other elements that are inherently specific to Korean culture. There are some things that non-Koreans will never be able to fully grasp, no matter how much they study the language or the culture or how much time they spend living in Korea.

Additionally, KPOP is so lucrative that instead of becoming artists in their own countries, many people come to Korea hoping to get accepted as trainees so that they can debut in a KPOP group and maybe one day find success. Not only does this then take away from the Koreanness of the art form but it also takes away talented artists from the entertainment industries in other countries that could benefit from having that star power. Survival shows like JYP Entertainment's A2K and HYBE x Geffen's Dream Academy mean well, I'm sure, and those girls are all very talented and deserving of a bright future in music and entertainment—but being a non-Korean or non-Asian in a KPOP group is not like being a person of a non-Caucasian race or ethnicity in the Western music industry where the mainstream music is predominantly sung in English because Korean is not a universally spoken language. While the inclusivity and diversity is well-intentioned, you have to take into consideration what diversity looks like for each population. South Korea has been largely homogeneous for almost its entire life as a nation, and regardless of their close ties with the U.S., the makeup of the population is nothing close to the melting pot that exists in America. And no matter what anyone tells you about how much global groups will receive a lot of support because of all the different countries represented, a majority of the KPOP audience does not want to see foreigners in KPOP groups. I personally would much rather see a wider acceptance of idols from throughout the Korean diaspora and mixed Koreans as a show of the diversity that could be possible in popular Korean media than willingly allow the rest of the world to invade Korea again in a more nuanced way. What would be diverse for South Korea would be to see more black Koreans, more Hispanic/Latinx Koreans, and other non-Caucasian Koreans in KPOP in order for them to acknowledge the growing population of mixed Koreans while still maintaining its status as a Korean artform.

If there is such a demand for global groups, then the better route to take would be to follow in XG's footsteps: create a group of Asian (in their case, Japanese) artists who were trained in the KPOP system, release music exclusively in English, and promote all over the world. (I will say that their continued attendance at Korean music shows is a little baffling, considering that none of their music is in Korean. I know they're all learning how to speak Korean, though, so I'm hoping that they start releasing music in Korean—and in Japanese—so that they can really show that they are a global group.)

Are Artists Obligated to "Use Their Platform for Good"?

Plenty of celebrities have received the criticism that they should be "using their platform" to raise awareness about specific issues and topics and are often attacked for remaining silent. While it is true that they have so much social capital and public influence that it would be nice to see them use it to do something good for others, is it really fair to expect people to be constantly championing causes when they are also burdened with other responsibilities that we may be unaware of and/or unable to understand?

A lot of parents like to say that some celebrities need to carry themselves better and think about what they say and do because they have a lot of children and young people who look up to them. Again, this is true, but are we as everyday adults thinking about whether or not we're conducting ourselves in a way that would be appropriate for any children who may be observing us? Unlikely, unless you have your own children or other children in your family. Celebrities have very different lives and they have privileges that most of us will never know, but at the end of the day, they're also people and it must be exhausting to have to be "on" anytime you could be seen by someone, let alone for children that are, for them, only existing in the abstract and not in reality. Many celebrities don't become celebrities in order to have so much sway over such a large population of people—they simply pursued something they were passionate about and became wealthy and famous in the process. They're sometimes seen as these "other-worldly" figures but they're really no different from the rest of us when it comes to bare bones.

So are artists responsible for how the content they put out into the world affects others? Yes and no. For example, I don't think BTS should be held accountable for how the rest of the world views KPOP or Koreans just because they're one of the most popular figures in Korean entertainment. Should they be mindful about the kind of music they make given the diversity of their audience? Absolutely—but they don't have to. They can make whatever kind of music they want and how the fans receive it will send a message to them. They can choose to listen or not, and that is their right. It just so happens that they have chosen time and time again to put the fans first and that has played a huge part in their success.

Should Jungkook be responsible for protecting the ears of innocent children from the sexually explicit lyrics in his music? No, of course not, their parents should be keeping that music out of their rotation. But should Big Hit Music be responsible for vetting collaborations before releasing music that is racist and misogynistic? I'd really like to say yes, because that's something that would happen at the company level and not the artist level. If they really cared about Jungkook's image outside of the sexual themes of his solo music, then Jack Harlow would've never gotten the go ahead. Something like this is disappointing because prior to the creation of HYBE, Big Hit Entertainment had set the standard for being a company that valued their artists. It was really hard to not be a "company stan" at the beginning, but at the end of the day, companies will always value profits over people and even Big Hit Music is no exception.

Conclusion

There are some things that we as KPOP fans should consider. One, KPOP has the potential to become even bigger or crumble, depending on the actions that Korean entertainment companies take in the upcoming years. KPOP is really what put South Korea on the map and though they would benefit more from staying true to what has made the genre so beloved by many fans around the world, the shift in direction towards trying to appeal to Western tastes has been continuing; and this move has the potential to lose the interest of long-time KPOP fans who will see it as no longer being different from other genres and therefore no longer appealing.

Two, allowing access to the idol system for everyone isn't the solution people want to believe it is. Even with the backing of large companies, so-called global groups have a bigger chance of being snubbed by lifelong KPOP fans; and people shouldn't be trying to take something away from a population for whom their economy, society, and lives in general have been shaped by that one thing. Modern colonization exists and this is it.

Three, KPOP artists, while they don't grow in the same way as everyday people, do still grow; and they should be allowed the space to grow, whether that means being free to express their sexuality or their personality changing. Especially if you've been a KPOP fan for a long time, we are literally growing up with these artists. I myself am the same age as many third generation KPOP idols, and knowing how much my style has changed, how much my personality has changed, I don't expect that those things will never change for an idol. People who expected TWICE to do the cute, girly thing forever actually want them to look and act like little girls forever, and they are grown women. They're allowed to change because they are changing. People are not free for consumption in any way we want, and we need to get past this idea of demanding that idols need to stay the same.

Which brings us to four, artists and celebrities are people. Making art for a living is tricky, as it often is when you're doing what you love and being paid for it. While most people would say that that's the dream, it can also be a burden; and public figures can never truly be themselves because someone is always watching. And though we should never excuse someone's poor behavior, it's important to have some compassion for other people's situations. In a world where corporations hold most of the power and even the most famous artists are still chained to certain responsibilities and expectations, we should recognize that we cannot impose our own values and morals on others. If your favorite artist disappoints you, it can be very devastating, but it is also a testament to how much we place certain people on pedestals when we should all be treated equally as human beings.

Maybe this is all a huge overreaction to "3D" and maybe it's not. It's a very long-winded way of saying that I don't like the song but like most things, it's connected to other things and it's important to understand the context of all those things. Anyway, please pre-order GOLDEN by Jungkook if you can and I'll see you all on November 3rd!

[eccentric-nucleus]

i got a comment on one of my fics, 10+ years ago, from somebody was more slash/yaoi fandom aligned than, like, furry fandom, and they were like... the thing about furry porn is that it tends to invite you into the direct unmediated experience of a very specific sexual concept. furry porn gets explicit and specific in a way you really don't see in 'most' porn.

(something something, people having to discover their sexuality by making a fundamental break with societal norms and going, well, what am i into, actually? and that sometimes leading them down very specific rabbitholes of like, foreverially delitized. this is fine. this is an important part of the incredible majesty of human sexuality!! all sorts of things are cringe, or embarrassing, or perverse, or w/e. listen. sex, sexual intimacy, can be one of the most brutal and overwhelming experiences a person can have. being physically & emotionally open with another person is tough. no shit actually explaining that you're into something as prosaic as feet can be a mortifying ordeal. that is just the nature of intimacy though.)

anyway i worry a little sometimes that some of my porn just kinda gets, like, rote. by-the-book. sex scene insert two characters and have them fuck.

(i don't think i've mentioned this ever, or like, at least not for a long time, but when i was like, 16 and just starting writing porn i was already very fed up with there being a like... standard sexual script for fic sex scenes? anal sex: one fingers, two fingers, three finger, dick, that kind of thing. at first i was just like, i am just not gonna write any anal sex, and then after that i was like, okay i am never gonna just repeat the fundamental blocking of sex scenes between fics, and red-and-stimpy style, this has probably driven me to extreme heights of sex scenes just to be writing something novel)

anyway back when i first started writing fic i was still, to some degree, figuring out my own sexuality. i would say on the whole i am not really a person that, uh, changes a lot? i kinda feel like i got a lot of my self-reflection out of the way and now i've mostly been coasting along as a mostly self-actualized adult, but ofc basically everybody thinks that about themselves, i guess. so who can say, really. but there has definitely been less, you know, conceptual self-reflective introspection about the nature of sexuality in my porn as of recent. insofar as that was ever really a thing that was clear to the reader, idk. i still wouldn't say it's "just porn" as such b/c i don't really know if such a thing exists outside of like, porn streamlined for mass audience appeal, but, idk

[transistorpoweredheart-zine]

Contributor application information

Contributor applications are open from March 5th to April 9th.

How many contributors?

We are looking for around 40 to 50 creators (moderators excluded), with a ratio of ⅔ artists and ⅓ writers. We aim to have around 5 merch artists. The final number of contributors will depend on the number of applications we get, and on the ratio of writers and artists that apply. 

What are the dimensions of the zine?

The dimensions of the zine will be determined after the contributors have been chosen and we have a better idea of what the ratio of text vs image will be. We aim to have a zine in B5 dimensions (17.6 × 25 cm or 6.9 × 9.8 inches), but it might turn into A4 dimensions (21 x 29.7 cm or 8.27 x 11.69 inches). 

Contributors will be informed about the dimension that is chosen and will be provided with guidelines and templates.

What kind of content is allowed in the zine? (ships, ratings, AUs, etc)

The zine will be aimed at people of age 15 or more, to allow mature themes such as death, violence, abuse, depression, which are all part of Tony’s story. This corresponds to Marvel comics’ rating of “PARENTAL ADVISORY – Appropriate for 15 and up. Similar to T+, but featuring more mature themes and/or more graphic imagery. Recommended for teen and adult readers.” (source: wikipedia)

The focus will be on Tony himself and his life, struggles, adventures, friendships and teams.

Non-canon romantic relationships will not be allowed. While canon romantic relationships are allowed, the focus should still be on Tony. Platonic relationships such as friendships or maybe mentoring the younger heroes can be explored in depth. Here, the focus should also be on Tony.

Content taking place at any time in canon is allowed, and encouraged. Whether you want to draw vintage Iron Man or write about Tony’s hair in the 2021 Iron Man annual, you’re good.

AUs will not be allowed. Canon-close canon divergence will be allowed. For example: “Tony Stark reveals his secret identity to Janet just after the rest of the Avengers” and “Tony dies after injecting Extremis into himself” are allowed, but “Tony’s father is actually Dracula and Tony becomes a vampire” or “Tony has three sisters and is best friends with Charles Xavier” are not.

What universes are allowed?

According to the results of the interest check, we will include both 616 and other comics universes. The aim is to have around 65-75% 616 works and 35-25% other comics universes. In your application you can choose several universes that you would like to create for. If you are accepted, we will tell you which universe to create for.

Who can apply to the zine?

Any contributor over the age of 18, regardless of popularity or how new they are to fandom are accepted. You do not need previous zine experience.

We encourage applications from all over the world.

What do I need to put in my application?

All contributor applicants are encouraged to showcase at least one example of a work with comics Tony in it. It is not necessary, but it will be to your advantage because it gives us a better idea of how you would depict/draw him. The work you show us in your application does not need to follow our zine specifications, but please warn for any NSFW content (explicit sexual content, blood, gore, etc). Use the application to show us what you can do. Concentrate on something in a style you’d also like to create for the zine, but you are also free to add whatever you think shows off your skills best.

What will I be allowed to create? 

Contributors will need to create a new piece that hasn’t been published before.

Creativity is encouraged: we have listed a few options of types of work that you can do, but if you have another idea, feel free to mention it in the relevant part of the application form. Since we can’t guarantee that we will allow that type of work in the zine, we encourage you to also pick at least one of the options we have given.

Authors can produce fanfiction, meta and character studies (example 1, example 2), poetry, fake articles and other in-universe written media (think interviews, blogposts, etc).

Artists can produce full page illustration (portrait format), spread page illustration (landscape format), a sketch page (example), a comic or art with text incorporated in it, technical specs or industrial design drawings (example). 

Artists can apply to create the cover art.

What are the content specifications? (wordcount, illustrations, comics, sketches, etc)

Authors will have a word count of maximum 3000 words, as a stand-alone piece of fiction or other text. Full page illustration and spread page illustration artists need to provide a fully finished piece of art, usually in colour. For alternative visual art formats (a page of sketches, armour specs, etc), corresponding requirements will be set. Comic artists will create a comic between 1 and 6 pages. 

The cover art artist will need to produce a fully rendered illustration with background. They will not need to add text (Title, etc) to the art but will coordinate with the Layout mod.

Merch artists will need to create one (or more, if desired) merch item, with clean lines and colour and an amount of detail appropriate for the merch item.

Can I apply for several roles?

You can apply for several roles. Please use the same username and email on each application so that we know you're the same person. You can change the username when the zine is produced (for example if your art account has another name than your writing account). You will be accepted for one role only.

Are collaborations allowed?

Collaborations in teams of two are allowed. They can be collaborations between artists and writers, between writers and writers, or artists and artists. Examples of collaborations are: fanfiction with illustration, comics with a writer for the text and an artist for the art, illustrations where one artist does lineart and the other does colouring, a fake interview where one writer writes the questions and the other writes the answers, and so on. 

Collaborative works will follow the same restrictions as works by one person, plus one page. For example, a team making a comic can create a 7-page comic if they want, a team writing together can write up to 3500 words (one page is around 500 words), and so on. 

A team will count as two contributors. This means that the maximum number of teams we can accept for the zine is 25. 

Applications: Each member of the team should apply separately. In the form there will be a question where you can show that you are applying as a team and tell us who you’re applying with. For example: JOCASTA and FRIDAY want to apply as a team. JOCASTA writes in her form that she applies with FRIDAY. FRIDAY writes in her form that she applies with JOCASTA. 

In the application form, you can choose whether you only want to be accepted as a team, or if you are fine with being accepted even if your collaborator isn’t accepted. This means that if only one of you gets accepted, you will have to create something on your own.

How do you decide who will be accepted?

We will decide based on your general skill. For artists, we will look at anatomy, the quality of linework (when art contains linework), and the use of colours and lighting (where it is relevant). For writers, we will look at general flow, grammar and spelling, and characterization. Since the mods are trying to have an interesting combination of pieces in the zine, the style and themes may also factor into the decision. There is always a subjective aspect present when art (be it fics or art) is judged, and you should not take any rejection as a proof that your art or writing is worse than what will be part of the zine.