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#not everyone puts so much time and effort into scrutinizing their own psyche in an attempt to tear apart the pieces they hate
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TW/CW: Suicidal ideations, mental illness
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I did not expect to be murdered today o - o
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our-smooty · 6 years
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Take Me to Church Chapter 21: Flash
Fandom: Gorillaz
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: 2doc
Tags: Car Accidents Angst Hurt/Comfort Drugs/Alcohol Implied/Referenced Suicide SuicideHealing Everything Hurts
Summary: The band is back together, but things are… weird to say the least. But when a crisis arises, can they pull it all together and be a family again?
Link to other Chapters on my Blog!
Unfortunately, the peace from dinner didn’t continue over to the next day. The morning started off well, Murdoc woke up beside a sleeping 2D and proceeded to wake him up with an amazing blowjob. The singer was in a great mood after that and so was Murdoc. They took a shower together and ate leftover spaghetti for breakfast. By the time they were finished, Russel had joined them at the table, making himself a much more conventional breakfast of toast and eggs.
“So, are you two comin’ with me to the hospital?” he asked. The question was casual, but Murdoc didn’t miss the way the drummer's eyes flicked to him briefly. It took the majority of his self-control not to snap defensively.
“Actually,” 2D piped up, “I think me and Muds are gonna stay here.”
“2D…” Murdoc sighed, leaning his chin on his fist. The singer frowned.
“We talked about this Murdoc…”
“I told you I don’t need a nanny!” the bassist growled. The sight of the other flinching back brought up bad memories, and Murdoc took a deep, calming breath. “D, you should go with Russel. I’ll be fine here.”
2D was fidgeting with his hands nervously, glancing between him and Russel. “I-I don’t know Muds…”
Luckily, Russel, ever the sane one, had an idea. “What if Murdoc checked in with us, while we’re out D? D’you think you could do that Muds?”
Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Fine I’ll send you a text, alrigh’?” 2D thought about it, chewing on his bottom lip. Murdoc wondered if the singer knew how much that turned him on.
“I guess, jus’ promise that you will call OK?” Not one for PDA--even if it was only in front of Russel--Murdoc put a hand on Stu’s shoulder and squeezed.
“I promise, D.” The other leaned into the touch slightly before straightening back up. Russel watched the two with a bemused look on his face, which Murdoc tried to ignore. He felt like he was under a microscope, every action scrutinized.
“We should get goin’ then, D,” Russel said, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. “Should probably do some grocery shoppin’ too, while we’re out.”
“OK Russ,” the singer said slowly, giving Murdoc one last glance. Russel seemed to sense the tension between them and stepped out of the room to get ready. Not for the first time, Murdoc was grateful the drummer was so in-tune with their dynamic.
“It’ll be fine, Stu,” Murdoc said, getting up and wrapping his arms around the singer from behind. 2D sagged in his hold, resting his head against Murdoc’s shoulder and turning to kiss his cheek.
“I-I know, I t-trust you. It’s hard, with Noodle sick an you…”
“I know,” Murdoc interrupted. He didn’t want to hear the younger say it, didn’t want to face it right now. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, alrigh'?”
2D sniffled, getting up to hug the Satanist properly. “OK. I love you, Muds.”
Murdoc felt himself begin to blush, those three little words filling him up with so many conflicting, but mostly pleasant, emotions. “I uh--”
“S’ok, you don’t have to say it righ’ now.” What had he done to deserve such an understanding, perfect partner? The familiar feeling of guilt and inadequacy began to rise up inside him, but he managed to push it down, reminding himself that he was trying to be better this time.
“Thank you, D.”
At that point, Russel came back and reminded 2D that they needed to go. Murdoc let Stuart go, giving him a smile and a gentle push towards the door. “Go on, Bluebird. I’ll be here when you get back.” 2D nodded, his expression determined. Satan, Murdoc though, he was so adorable.
When the drummer and singer finally left, Murdoc realized he had no idea what he was going to do for the entire day. He hadn’t been alone in the house for ages, what did he even do on his own before the whole Noodle debacle? Drink and smoke, drug himself into oblivion? But he couldn’t do any of that now, not to the extent he would have liked. He was making an effort to be better.
In the end, he decided it’d be worthwhile to go up to his room and work on some music as a distraction from the silence of the house. He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge--he knew he couldn’t quit drinking cold-turkey--and headed upstairs. On the way up he saw Katsu, sunbathing on the landing. He stopped to give the cat a quick scratch behind the ears before making the rest of the trek.
Though he and 2D had cleaned his room up, it was still a monument to his degrading mental state. There were still bottles under the bed, and loose pills on the bedside table. Just the sight of the drugs made his mouth water and his brain tingle. Maybe his room wasn’t the bastion of safety he thought it might be.
His bass, the only thing he bothered to keep clean, was sitting in its stand, shining as brightly as the day he got it. Deciding that his room held too much temptation, Murdoc grabbed the instrument and turned back around. Where could he go to relax where he wouldn’t be surrounded by temptation? 2D’s room was out of the question; it was arguably full of more drugs than his own, and he didn’t feel comfortable invading Russel’s space like that. That left the living room or Noodle’s room... and he really didn’t want to drag an amp down all those stairs.
With hesitant steps, Murdoc found himself in front of his guitarist's door. It’s just a room, he told himself, there’s no reason to get worked up over it. As he was psyching himself up, Katsu walked up behind him, sauntering through the doorway without a care in the world. Murdoc watched blankly, before huffing out a quiet laugh.
“Bloody cat,” he mumbled, following it into the room. No one had been in there for long since the night Murdoc overdosed, and the room was just as Noodle had left it. Unfortunately, Noodle had taken after Murdoc and 2D when it came to cleaning, though she did at least, throw out her garbage. But Murdoc tried not to think about that; he was determined that today would be fine. So he placed his beer on the bed and dragged an amp close enough to plug his bass in, beginning with a warm-up. Katsu curled up beside him, more than used to the thumping bass lines filling the house.
He played through all their hits as a warmup, the deep bass tones resonating through his entire being. The vibrations calmed him more than the beer did, and he soon found himself noodling around with random notes, looking for bass lines that would work on their new album. He thought about the song 2D had been working on and tried to find something to match. It was pointless though without the singer around to let him know if he was on the right track or not. Eventually, he got bored of playing and tossed El Diablo to the side, flopping down on his back on Noodle’s bed.
Satan, what did people do with all their free time? Checking his phone he saw only two hours had passed, and that 2D had sent him a couple texts. They were mostly harmless, the younger wanted to know what he was up to, and one was a picture of Stu in an elevator, giving a peace sign. Murdoc saved the picture to his phone and sent a selfie in response. The entire exchange felt incredibly, wonderfully domestic.
Noodle’s bed was warm, soft, and clean. Murdoc fumbled around in the sheets for his beer and he cracked the last one open, paying special care not to spill any. He had a light buzz going and felt surprisingly calm surrounded by his youngest bandmates possessions. Noodle had a good eye for decorating, and the bassist had always been a little jealous of how amazing her room looked. He wondered if she’d be upset if she knew he was hanging out in here and drinking without her, but decided it didn’t really matter. It would be just one of many things he had to apologize for when he saw her again.
That was a big reason why he didn’t want to go with the others today. Murdoc knew that he’d fucked up, even if everyone forgave him. It was because of his temper this entire thing had happened. He wanted to be better, but he didn’t know how. The fear that if he went to go see Noodle again so soon he’d freeze up was so strong that even safe at home it made his stomach clench.
Katsu interrupted his growing anxiety attack by butting her head against Murdoc’s hand. The bassist gave her a few scratches, listening to her purr. He understood why Noodle liked sleeping with the cat now, it’s presence was comforting.
“Where should I even start?” he asked. The cat meowed and lay back down. He’d promised to go see a psychiatrist with 2D, but how did he find one? Would they put him on medication? Murdoc shuddered at the memory of prison in Mexico, where he’d been held in the psych ward for weeks and drugged out of his noggin. And not in the good way. Did he need to be medicated? What if they saw a doctor and they told him there was nothing they could do for him. What if--
Suddenly, Murdoc’s phone chimed, alerting him to a new text. He grabbed the phone, fumbling through the pattern lock. When had his hands gotten so shaky, and his vision so blurry? The message was from 2D, commenting on the photo Murdoc had sent.
“R u in Noodle’s rm?”
“Needed an amp” he replied. Should he tell 2D what he was feeling? That’d only make him rush back, and Murdoc really didn’t want to ruin another one of his trips to see Noodle.
“O, did u find 1?”
“Yeah. Played a bit but it’s not the same without you here”
“Ill b home soon M”
“I know D, take your time”
It was fine, he didn’t need to tell the singer every time he got a little worked up. Murdoc was a grown man for Satan’s sake, he could handle a little bit of anxiety. His phone pinged again
“Do u want 2 c a pic of Noods?”
Murdoc typed, then retyped his message no less than three times. He settled on “OK.”
The picture was grainy and a little blurry. 2D had an older model phone he refused to give up and it really showed. In the picture the singer was in front of the camera, leaning down to Noodle’s bedside. She was smiling, a little lopsided, but it was still her stunning smile. Murdoc could remember seeing that smile for the first time after she’d finished that wicked solo on top of her FedEx box. Her bruising had faded significantly, though she still looked pale and weak. If he squinted, Murdoc could kid himself into thinking they weren't in a hospital at all.
“She looks better”
“She says hi.”
“Tell her I say hi back”
Was he supposed to feel happy, or sad? Murdoc wished he could be happy that Noodle was getting better, but all he felt was sadness and guilt. She was so sick, and would be for a long time. He knew what happened with Stu was a fluke, most people with traumatic brain injuries had lifelong disabilities. She might never walk or talk again. She might not have the dexterity left in her fingers to play guitar anymore. He couldn’t live with himself if he’d been the cause of that.
“OK, that’s enough,” he grumbled, nudging Katsu aside and getting to his feet. It only took a few minutes to clean up his cans and gather his bass. Staying in there had been nice at first, but the fragile courage he’d had was wearing thin and the coward below was shining through. He couldn’t stay here, surrounded by her for a second longer. When he closed the door--just as Katsu trotted out behind him--he sighed with relief.
Murdoc knew he needed more alcohol if he was going to have to deal with feeling like this. 2D would understand, he hadn’t promised to stay sober, after all. That didn’t sound quite right, but his need for some sort of release from the pounding in his chest was stronger than logic. Dropping the bass off in his room, he made a beeline for the kitchen.
Saddled with a bottle of something stronger than beer, he idled in the hall back to the stairs. He’d only wasted 4 hours. He should have asked 2D when he and Russel were coming back and it’d been too much of a hassle to text the younger now. If he did it’d only worry Stu, not to mention it’d sound like he was being clingy. Oh well, he was sure he could find something to occupy himself with for a few more hours.
Russel made sure that after their visit with Noodle they went to the grocery store. According to him, they couldn’t keep ordering takeout every day and the spaghetti had used up the last of the food in the fridge. 2D never saw the harm in ordering takeout, but Russel insisted. He still felt a little guilty about keeping the drummer up at night, so Stu had relented.
By the time they were finished it was late afternoon, way past when he thought they’d be home. The singer hadn’t heard from Murdoc in a while, but he was trying to keep calm. He’d talked to him just a couple of hours ago, had even seen a picture of him. 2D had to learn to trust the bassist if their… relationship was going to work.
He stayed quiet the whole ride, gripping his phone and tapping along nervously to the music. Russel didn’t complain, he always seemed to have a sixth sense about when someone needed some space. Not for the first time, 2D realized that without Russel they’d be a lot worse off.
“If you take the bags in the front,” Russel said, startling the other out of his thoughts, “then I can manage the ones in the back.”
“O-oh, yeah sure Russ,” 2D stuttered. He quickly grabbed the bags, too quickly, spilling some of their contents onto the floor. As fast as he could he packed everything back up and hauled them into the house. It was a bit of a struggle to get the front door open ut he managed, toeing his shoes off before shuffling into the kitchen.
“Murdoc! We’re back!” he called. Distantly he could hear thumping and rattling coming from the second floor. Within seconds he heard the sound of heavy steps down the stairs and felt himself begin to smile. Leaving the groceries for a moment, the singer turned around to greet Murdoc.
“Ello luv,” he teased, not even trying to hide his happiness at seeing the bassist again. He really was acting like a love-sick teenager.
“Alright Stu?” Murdoc asked, sauntering in with a bit more swagger than usual. 2D’s smile fell slightly as he caught a whiff of alcohol off the other. But he didn’t want to upset Murdoc; there was probably a reason he felt the need to get drunk. Still, he couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.
“I will be, in a minute,” he joked back, gathering the smaller up in his arms for a hug. Murdoc went willingly. “Ah that’s much better.”
“Mmh, don’t tell me you missed me after such a short time,” Murdoc laughed, wrapping his own arms around the singer. 2D could tell the bassist had missed him just as much as he had. Letting himself forget that Murdoc was drunk for just a moment, the singer leaned in for a kiss, humming happily as Murdoc kissed back.
Their little bubble was popped by the front door opening again; 2D had forgotten about Russel. With a sigh he let Murdoc go, turning back to the groceries and beginning to unbag them. Murdoc was already rifling through the fridge, probably looking for beer when Russel came in with the rest of the bags.
“Hey Muds,” he greeted. Murdoc grunted a hello and took a seat at the table, beer in hand.
“H-hey Russ, I can put the groceries away, if you want,” the singer offered. Really, he just wanted more time to talk to Murdoc alone.
“Well, I’m not gonna argue with that. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” 2D waved as the drummer left, while Murdoc gave a lazy nod. It didn’t take too long for him to get everything put away in it’s proper place, or at least close to it. He really couldn’t remember exactly where they usually kept the cans of soup, so he stacked them up beside the bowls. It was close enough.
“So what did you do while we were gone, Muds?” the singer asked in his most casual voice. Murdoc was drunk enough not to notice anything suspicious.
“Not much. Played bass, sat around, summoned a few demons, the usual.”
2D hoped he was joking about the last part. “And uh, had a couple drinks?”
Murdoc’s eyes flashed dangerously, though he quickly looked away. “Yes, I did. That a problem?”
“N-no! I um, I just’ wanted to ask if there was somethin’ wrong.” 2D watched Murdoc study the table with interest.
“No, nothin’s the matter. Can’t a man enjoy a drink?” The singer was getting a little impatient. Why wouldn’t Murdoc just tell him what the problem was already?
“Just a drink?” he asked, his voice clipped. Murdoc’s head snapped up with a  scowl.
“Yes, Stuart. A drink,” the bassist answered angrily.
“Why?”
Murdoc laughed darkly. “Since when do I need a reason to drink, D?”
2D sighed and sat next to him. “Murdoc…”
“Stop babying me!” Murdoc snarled suddenly, standing up fast enough to knock the chair back. “Satan’s sake 2D!”
“Don’t shout at me!” Stu yelled, getting up as well. Both men had their fists clenched at their sides and frowns on their faces. For a brief moment, a memory flashed in front of the singer's vision. The sound of a chair hitting the ground.  Murdoc, standing over him with an open palm, his own cheek stinging. Murdoc, stumbling out of the room as 2D scrabbled to his feet, a dull throbbing in his face and side. Pink, so much pink. Unconsciously he took a step back, raising his hands to his face in a flinch. The Satanist was frozen, his fists still clenched but the anger slowly draining from his face.
“2D what--” Murdoc took a few steps forward and immediately the singer’s mind told him to run run get away!
“No!” he cried, pressing further back into the wall. This was just like back on Plastic Beach, it was happening again, he couldn’t handle it again--
“U-uh, shit!” Murdoc cursed, backing up. Stuart kept an eye on the other’s hands the entire time they raised up placatingly. “2D it’s ok!”
Neither man moved for a good two minutes before 2D collapsed against the wall, tearing streaming down his cheeks. Big, ugly sobs tore their way out of the singer's small frame. Through blurry eyes he watched Murdoc kneel down a few feet in front of him warily.
“Oh God D,” Murdoc whispered, so distraught that he momentarily forgot his own religion. “I’m so sorry.”
For once, the singer put his own feelings first and didn’t rush to comfort Murdoc. He couldn’t, he was frozen in his defensive curl. Even as his breathing evened out, and his sobs turned to silent crying he still couldn’t get up and go to the other man. He wasn’t even sure if he even wanted to. He’d never had a reaction like that around the bassist, and he'd never had a flashback like that either. So why was it happening now that they were finally getting somewhere with each other?
“D-d’you want me to go?” Murdoc asked quietly. He shook his head no, because he wasn’t sure. So they stayed frozen in their spots. It was a wonder Russel didn’t come downstairs to investigate the silence. Eventually, 2D gathered enough strength to lower his hands, wrapping them around his knees instead.
“I-I jus’ w-wanted t-t-t’know why you w-were drinkin,” he said, quiet as a whisper. Murdoc held his head in his hands, shaking.
“I was thinkin’ a little--a little too much and I n-needed  t’relax. I s-swear Stu, that’s all,” he answered. He looked and sounded like he was telling the truth, but still, the singer didn’t feel like he could calm down fully.
“Oh,” Stu said. “M’sorry for makin’ a b-big fuss--”
“No! Uh, no, I shoulda told you t-the truth when you asked,” Murdoc interrupted. “I’m sorry for scarin’ you.”
Stu shrugged. “It was the chair fallin’... I think.”
“Still my fault,” Murdoc said. “If I hadn’t done all that stuff on Plastic--”
2D interrupted with a panicked sound in the back of his throat. “I-I don’t wanna think about that righ’ now.” He watched Murdoc weigh his options before deflating even more.
“OK, whatever you want D. I’m, uh, sorry, though. Maybe I should go?”
The older man got to his feet. 2D could still feel the edges of panic in his mind, raw and stinging. But he could also see that Murdoc was really, truly sorry. With a shaky voice, he spoke up.
“Don’t leave.” The singer got to his feet as well, still keeping a safe distance from the other. “I don’t want us to fight.”
“Me either Stu,” Murdoc agreed. They stared awkwardly at each other for a while, unsure of what to do. Eventually, Murdoc picked up the chair he’d toppled and sat down. It was almost like that last fifteen minutes hadn’t happened. Slowly, 2D sat down as well, inching his chair within arms reach of Murdoc.
“We’ll work on it, yeah?” he asked placing a hand on Murdoc’s knee. Murdoc was back to studying the table, but he covered the larger hand with his and squeezed. They weren’t quite there yet, but they were getting close. And Stu was willing to try.
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icharchivist · 6 years
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Aw, I was looking over the past dgm posts on your blog and I had no idea about the Timothy bonus post Allen and Johnny quitting the Order. It makes sense, Timothy hasn't been around long but canon bits show he was really attached to Allen (The Gray Log said they took baths together apparently). Timothy is always a big part of Allen's Order loved ones flashbacks (and Johnny carries a picture around of him hugging Allen). Knowing Timothy loved Johnny a lot too just gets me. Allen and Johnny -
2 certainly took a lot of the Order's (humanity) innocence and joy with them when they left. See this is why I utterly adore the Allen and Johnny dynamic. I didn't expect it but it was so organic and now the 2 are so important to each other. And they were both so important to many good people of the Order. My heart breaks yet soars at once! X0
Aww nonny!! :’D have fun in the old posts though!
and ahh yes that bonus breaks my heart ;;-;; 
I think it’s always important to remember how radically Komui changed the Order and put the focus on humanity, especially creating himself the team that now fits the scientific division as we know it (and Jeryy) on the sole purpose of lightening the mood for the Exorcists and help them in battle in a way they don’t feel just like weapons thrown in a war. (Kanda & Lenalee stories are the two that showcase that the most).
Johnny was part of this initiative too. Even in earlier chapters we see he tends to be a lighthearted goof who is genuinely trying to help, and his kindness shines through even more than the others (no jab at the others though, most of them were trying to get by. I would clap for Reever’s kindness too if he didn’t have to catalyse all his efforts in making sure Komui isn’t destroying the Order).  and Johnny just also experienced a major loss in the recent arcs while all his goal was always to find ways to ease it to the exorcists- and he’s such a softie. I mean he’s the only one of the scientists to show major disgust for what happened to Alma for exemple. (Reever too but he does try to swallow it back. Johnny is such a softie he completely breaks down. It’s telling though that the two to react with empathy and compassion to Alma are... the two scientists of Komui’s unit, the unit he set in place specifically to change the Order and the way it treated the exorcists)  
And despite that, Timothy arrived right at a very bad moment for the Order, after it had been destroyed and half its staff was killed, there’s only 14 or so exorcists left  because there had recently been a slaughter as well, (which imo probably left a much more massive impact on their psyche that we give them credit for. ) and especially, Lveille came back in commands of the Order right before Timothy came to the Order, bringing with him ruthless scientists that don’t especially seem to follow Komui’s ethics, and well, we’ve seen how Lveille tends to turn people into weapons, and with Lenalee’s backstory, how he wouldn’t hesitate to take it on the youngest of the gang either.
With how perticular Timothy’s innocence is, and the sacrifice they know they have to pull that kid through to, in his case, litterally making him a weapon in the war (since his innocence implies him projecting into an Akuma to be a weapon)... No wonder everyone started to get a bit overprotective of him.
(more on that bc i can, but it keeps reminding me of how, when Allen escapes the order, Krory is shown to be the one handling Timothy: )
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Back on Allen and Johnny, again it’s no real wonder either: Johnny lost people he loved in the Order’s attack and he got especially protective of Allen after seeing everything Allen went through and how much Allen tried to protect everyone during the attack.  Not to mention, we know Johnny was very close of Suman Dark, who died horribly in the exorcist slaughter when he became a Fallen - and it was also something Allen could connect with. Allen was there when Suman was killed. And right after that Allen “died”. For Johnny, Allen was the newcomer, he was sweet and all, but suddenly he had to almost die with one of Johnny’s close friend, trying to protect him. It must have been a lot to take it for poor Johnny back then, and when Allen came back, Tap died in the Order’s Attack and Allen once again just. Jumped into protected everyone, especially Johnny. No wonder Allen is this soft about Allen’s all being, he has more reasons than anyone in the scientist division to know how far Allen pushes his sacrifices for the others while still keeping a smile. No wonder he tries to ease it even more for Allen. 
And it’s still in a very bad timing for Allen considering how he’s scrutenized by the Order since Lveille is back in the picture. Which is already enough to put pressure on Allen but-
I think the fact Cross “died” right before meeting Timothy may have especially make Allen’s soft spot for Timothy stronger. With every revelations that came with Cross, Allen is obviously shaken up  by the revelations, his death, and the order’s pressure. Having a kid, an orphan, who had been used by his own father, who also turned to crime to pay back debts, who has an innocence that is leaving him with a part of his body he is probably bullied for, and a supernatural marking from his father on his own face,  now joining the order at a time where Komui’s attempt at peace became unstable... I have no wonder why Allen made sure the kid felt safe. Between being able to see himself in Timothy and being in such a troubling time having to reconcile his past with who he is, going out of his way to make sure the kid felt safe is on brand.
I think the timing and the fact the Order is becoming more and more “unsafe” really strengthened the fact the older ones, who have seen all that chaos, would try to shelter the young kid who has no idea what sort of mess he’s getting into. And if things are getting more and more tense in the Order, at least make it a better place for the Kid.
That’s why also the bonus in question is super sad. It’s Komui getting out of his way to try to fill that void for Timothy, avoiding his works (yes he’s lazy too but shh) to priviligize him and his silliness seems to be trying to balancing out the severity of the absence as well. (I’d argue a LOT of Komui’s character could be summarized like that tbh)
It could also raise a lot of questions about how unstable the Order truly became. We don’t know much anymore now, but we know that like, the exorcists had been sent to hunt Allen down (to Krory’s dismay), Lenalee and Marie are lying to the Order about Kanda’s whereabouts and i think it’s mentioned that they’re getting in trouble for doing so, and that’s sure not Komui’s doing. Considering Johnny left the Order but escaped it, with science tools to keep his memories and actively help Allen also somewhat could incriminate the Science Division into “helping a fugitive out” which would probably strengthen a grip on the Science Division as a whole with Lveille’s authority.
What I’m trying to say is that Johnny’s departure is probably adding more internal problems, it’s likely the Science Division being too scrutinized makes it hard to find time to balance out the new kid, and the others exorcists are probably out of town or in trouble regarding the Allen’s case: Timothy is probably excluded from it due to his young age, but therefore... he must feel so alone. 
Yeah, Allen and Johnny were a unit in the Order. I think there’s tons of reasons why and especially how tight they got after the attack on the Order, and how the more problems were getting in Allen’s way the more protective Johnny became knowing fully well that Allen’s heart is good and doesn’t deserve this mess. And it’s so sweet to see it. It’s even sweeter to see how this affection and this unit was extended too to Timothy, to the newcomer, to the one naive kid who hadn’t been seeing those horrors just yet. And they want to preserve that innocence, to live by what was originally Komui’s ethics in the Order.
Now that they’re both gone and the trouble it leaves the Order in especially with Lveille taking over the controle from Komui all while the Science divisions is probably under scrutiny while the exorcists are sent on missions or under watch... All efforts to emotionally protect Timothy so he adjusts in the Order, in the war, are becoming thin. 
At Least Komui is still here to help.
But that sure also emphazis how much of a hole Johnny and Allen left to the Order - if not just by their presence, also by the consequences of their absenses.
Sorry i ended up rambling just kdhjfkdj this particular situation makes me so sad.
Take care ;O
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astrology is the examination of wonderful bodies, the planets and the stars, and their circumstances in co-association with events on earth. astrology charts the circumstance of the sun, moon, planets, and othis stars at the hour of a's first experience with the world that shapes their character and othis events in their everyday presence. The Indian or Hindu Astrological structure starts from outdated India, called Vedic astrology, recorded by sages. Vedic Astrology is called Jyotish (the investigation of light). 
Now and again for the duration of regular day to day existence, we accept we are walking around a void, so significant, thise is no point of return. We all in all experience explicit stages when we are in dire need of insight or a solution for our issues. Oftentimes, we can't go to even our valuable ones during such disturbing events. Disregarding the way that it may sound extraordinary even to people almost no associated with Astrology, this is one spot people can visit when they are in the most outrageous need of that comfort, for some awesome direction and a way to deal with moderate horrible events. Various Astrologers have overwhelmed various pieces of Indian Astrology. Thise are Astrologers in Delhi ncr celebrated for their outstandingly exact assumptions and course that have given gainful results and helped individuals hugely through their readings. 
Shri Vedant Sharmaa continued to get a degree in Astrology and become a full-time Astrologer. His inclination lies in Vedic Astrology and K P Astrology. His experience is huge in the two fields. Shri Vikram Sharma has phenomenal capacities in Numerology, Gemology, and Matchmaking. This skilled Astrologer offers amazing answers for settling different issues and offers various kinds of Yantras. He gives exact assumptions on issue related to prosperity, preparing, and calling. This particularly gifted Astrologer has fifteen years of contribution with the field of Astrology. He knows about hindi and English. 
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Since old-fashioned events, astrology has been a critical piece of the lifestyle by and large turns of events. From the Vedic consecrated works to current science-based investigation, it is a huge part of everyone's step by step life. People's trust in astrology range from scrutinizing the step by step horoscope for diversion just to looking out the bearing of the stars in a pitiful situation. 
astrology is possibly substantially more looked out in current life, amidst extending vulnerability and anxiety concerning prosperity, associations and work issues. It offers a response just as imbues trust in a situation whise an individual can't search for it themselves. 
The name Dr. Vedant Sharmaa needn't mess with an understandable introduction. As of now He holds the record of "most glanced through astrologer in India". Dr. Vedant Sharmaa has gotten different public distinctions and seen as 'best astrologer in Delhi (NCR)', 'best divine prophet in India' by media houses like Times of India, Business Standard, Hindustan Times, Amar Ujala, etc He has similarly been praised by a couple of schools and regarded with testaments like Doctorate; D.Litt. his unprecedented history and achievements makes his a renowned choice for the Bollywood whizzes and best finance managers. He is the singular heavenly prophet from West Bengal who has been named as Top 5 Astrologers in India by various web reviews and driving progressed medias.
He holds cooperation of various public and worldwide astrology affiliations – Asian Astrologer of Congress, Astrological Research Project, Astro Medical Research Center, Asian Congress of astrologers, Astrological Association of Great Britain, Astrological investigation Project Delhi ncr, Bangiya Astro-clinical Research people group, Dharma Research Center (Chennai), American Federation of Astrologers, Federation of Australian Astrologer to give a few models. Make an effort not to consume your time if you need to chat with the Best Astrologer in Delhi NCR. 
I'm sure you ought to have ants in your pants now as you ought to have to know your future and shut down your issues rapidly so you can continue with your life off in clover. So the thing would you say you are holding on for? Here I present to you a once-over of presumably the most renowned and astute astrologers in your own city of pleasures, Delhi ncr. So connect with them soon! 
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DR.Vedant Sharmaa is a champion among other heavenly prophet in Delhi ncr. He has more than 10 years of contribution with Vedic astrology and is incredibly skilled to offer a ceaseless response for various essential issue that often disturbs our regular day to day existence. Be it wedding, legal issues, employment, business, preparing or relationship, DR.vedant sharmaa's data of sacredtext pseudoscience has gained him massive eclat across the state. astrology is the most prepared sort, taking everything into account. Self-reflection is so basic if one necessities to consolidate all the positive powers into one's life. 
What number of us have requests in our minds? Benevolent, I can see an amazing response! Well clearly, essentially we as a whole have a significant sack of requests anyway tragically no one to throw that sack on. We by and large wished there could be some gadget or some sort of a robot that could quickly see our future and subsequently answer our unending summary of requests. However, by then we resort to how this is basically illogical! 
However, envision a situation wherein I reveal to you that this is something that can be refined. In light of everything, I can see every one of you pleased! In reality, you heard that right. Besides, this has become possible just in view of the 'astrologers'. So we should offer thanks toward them, isn't that so? 
So what about we put things in clear words. what number of us are overwhelming horoscope perusers? Like the paper kid comes in to leave behind the paper to you and you are the primary who snatches away the paper and in a mad flood go open to the horoscope page, quickly pay extraordinary psyche to your zodiac sign and joyfully read that horoscope which promises you of an amazing day and whether or not it doesn't, it by and large alerts you. An especially little champ it is. Thinking why? Taking everything into account, have you anytime saw eagerly that a horoscope never makes you feel miserable. It never frightens you isolated! It has that wizardry which licenses you to attempt to try not to freeze whether or not it examines that the day would not be a good one for you. That calming and quieting wizardry is what makes you get back to it again and again. Much equivalent to the lap of a mother, it makes you feel supported and prodded to need on the day just like assaulting the issue vigorously! 
This is the wizardry of astrology. It helps in your inside turn of events and supports you keep up some evident tranquility. This, yet crystal gazing moreover makes us work upon our zones of deficiency and hereafter put ourselves in transit of accomplishment. 
Be it any family related issue, or a marriage that isn't working out or probably you can't have a whale of a period in the tenth heaven, or in all probability whatever other issue that you might be going up against, astrology has solid responses for all of your issues. Also, trust me these courses of action are not some dolt piece of advices, rather they are full-proof game plans, concentrated with the help of the improvement of sun, planets and the moon. So this gives them a hard-back. 
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Exactly when we talk about various best astrologer in Delhi ncr, DR.Vedant Sharmaa 's name continually best the once-over. His expertise isn't just limited to Vedic astrology. He has ruled over subjects like Career, Marriage, Business, Education, Legal issue, Love issues, Vaastu issue, Conjugate issue, etc His colossal works have been circulated in various overall magazines and have been outstandingly praised by the group. He is also an expert in palm examining and his considering Thumb Chakra, Finger Chakra and Palm chakra scrutinizing develops his assumption exactness to 99 % putting him straightforwardly at the top in the summary of the best celestial prophet in Delhi ncr. 
delhi ncr is eminent yet with respect to finding best soothsayer, by then there comes an unavoidable issue mark. Notwithstanding the way that, there are genuine astrologers in delhi ncr anyway finding affirmed heavenly prophet will be more earnestly task as astrologers are sitting in every specialty and corner of the city. By and by question accompanies regard to how to find Best Astrologer in delhi ncr, who can offer guaranteed reactions to issues defied. 
Affirmed astrologer is that astrologer who mindfully fathoms issues went up against and a short time later apply guidelines of Vedic astrology to discover answers for requests anyway by far most of the forefront heavenly prophets are fake, deceiving people for crystal gazing. Regardless, there are essential for people who had taken astrology counsel from astroguru vedant sharmaa and are satisfied because astroguru vedant sharmaa give gauges which are clear, genuine and fixes are easier to follow. 
Astroguru vedant sharmaa had made the name for himself which had come only by commitment and duty and is named as remarkable contrasted with other seer of delhi ncr by satisfied clients all over delhi ncr and abroad too. 
Organizations: 
Young person Related issues 
Birth time Rectification 
Gemstone Recommendation 
Posterity 
Procurement of vehicle astrology 
Life partner Wife Disputes 
Lawful questions 
Vashikaran Services 
Complete Life Prediction Report 
Online Puja, etc 
Prosperity astrology figures 
Cash and business astrology assumptions 
Livelihood astrology assumptions 
Procurement of Property astrology conjectures 
Opinion astrology conjectures 
Guidance astrology Predictions 
Marriage astrology gauges 
Jewels 
Vedant Sharmaa is exceptional among other Astrologer in Delhi NCR, gives affirmed and feasible astrology figure. He is a significantly respected astrologer and numerologist incited by acclaimed people and prominent specialists of government. People connect with him from wherever delhi ncr and abroad for his astrology and numerology assumptions through call and email 
vedant sharmaa is well known Astrological Services Specialist, TANTRA JYOTISH GURU with over 15 years of experience.He comes from a gathering of Astrologers starting from his father and he Specializes in the Tantra, Astrology, Numerology, Palmistry, Vastu, etc… That is astounding to his technique in changing individuals. vedant sharmaa is a Top Astrologer in delhi ncr, India and has a significant trust in Astrology.You will be truly dumbfounded at his Gifted examining and Astrological assumption power. 
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Top 10 Astrologers in India
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bienready2122 · 5 years
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Mentorship - 8 Keys to Living a Sensational Life
It's implied that in the event that you need to progress to another level in life you have to discover somebody who has been the place you need to go. Wheater you need to get an advancement on your job,if you need to progress in business or you need to have further all the more satisfying otherworldly life you have to discover an individual or gathering that can enable you to get to where you need to go. Shockingly such huge numbers of individuals neglect to arrive at the level they want not bucause they need capacity or formal training but rather in light of the fact that they basically don't have the foggiest idea where to go to locate the ideal individuals willing to direct them through the procedure accurately. They need a mentor. We as a whole know who Michael Jordan is. Michael Jordan is one of the best crate competitors of the twentieth century. When he was a kid it was discoved that he had an ability like nobody else yet he required a mentor to bring it out. In this article I will talking about 8 keys that if appropriately executed you can take off to hights you never thought conceivable. So we should get gazed Mercedes key replacement Birmingham
1. Settle on a choice.
The first step in carrying on with the sort of life you need is to settle on the choice that you're never again going to settle fo second best. We as a whole get to that point in various stages in our lives however indeed in the event that you don't settle on the choice to succeed you never will. It's been said that fate doesn't involve shot. It's a matter of decision. Everyone on this planet that is carrying on with a rich full life sooner or later in time settled on the choice that they were not going to agree to anything less that what they needed.
2. Discover a tutor or mentor.
Keep in mind toward the start of this article I talked about Michael Jordan?He would not be the place he is today had he not had a mentor to manage him and calling attention to seemingly insignificant details he can do to relentlessly improve his performace on the court. The reason a guide is so significant is on the grounds that a tutor can disclose to you how to make little varieties by they way you think,how you talk and how you conduct yourself. Your tutor can see things in you that you never acknowledged were there. Things that have made them scratch your head asking for what reason you're not excelling throughout everyday life. They call it"self talk"because the things you state to yourself or other individuals about yourself gets into your intuitive personality and the subliminal personality is the place each word thought and feeling is prepared and in the long run turns into a reality in your life. My coach says it this way:"The thing you consider the longest turns into the stongest. "
3. Picture.
Each fruitful individual on the planet has utilized this key. All that you find in actuality today began with an idea. Whatever the sort of life you need to live you should initially observe yourself in you mind effectively carrying on with that life. Envision what life would resemble on the off chance that you were hitched to the man or lady you had always wanted. How might you feel on the off chance that you possessed that hot little games vehicle you've been eyeballing through the showroom window. See yourself doing the thing you need to do,being the individual you need to be,having the things you need to have,living in the sort of house you've constantly longed for and with the man or lady you had always wanted. Make it totally clear in your psyche to the point that it is so genuine to you that you begin to accept that the way of life you have right currently isn't the place you have a place.
4. Record what you need.
It's great to have a composed duplicate of how you need your life to resemble. What might you like your ideal day to be like?Do you see yourself getting up toward the beginning of the day in the ace suite of your 12 room house with the head servant delicately thumping on your entryway disclosing to you that morning meal is ready?Are you booting up your PC after breakfast to see the action of your 30 or 40 item sites how a lot of cash you make during the night while you and your life partner rested adequately and gently through the night?Are you glancing through your day organizer to perceive what multimillion dollar arrangements on land gives you have that day?What do you see?What might you want to see?Whatever the psyche of man can imagine and believe,it can accomplish. Set aside the effort to record what you need your ideal day would resemble from the time you get up toward the beginning of the day to the time you got the chance to bed. Record every movement you might want to see yourself doing,the house you need to live in,the sort of vehicle or autos you own,etc. At that point post it where you can see it when you get up and read it out loud to yourself consistently.
5. Talk it.
Remeber what I said before about"self talk"?This is a significant key on your voyage to the bottomless like you need. You need to talk resoundingly what you deeply desire to get what you truly desire. My tutor calls it talking life into yourself. Much the same as you could never consider anything other than putting the best gas in the tank of your car,you need to give your intuitive personality the astounding fuel it needs to make the thrilling life you need. That is the reason my preferred book say to consider those things that be not just as they were. You need to talk what you need in the current state. On the off chance that you continue revealing to yourself you're generally broke,the words you express go into your ears
also, into your subliminal personality and soon you'll wind up continually being down and out in light of the fact that the mind attempts to make the circumstance you talk about the most. Regardless of whether you are attempting to make an actual existence of bounty on the off chance that you continue saying "I'm broke"you will consistently be down and out regardless of how hard you attempt. Keep in mind. The thing you consider the longest turns into the most grounded. On the off chance that you are generally harping on the things that you don't want,then that moves toward becoming you rule thought and your subliminal personality does not realize the distinction between what's genuine and what's not genuine it will simply get down to business on creating that thing you think about the most on the grounds that that is what you're telling it to do. A similar system works in the positive as well. In the event that you continue making statements like"I am showing signs of improvement and better every day"eventually you will feel yourself springing up toward the beginning of the day prepared for one more day. These are things your tutor can educate you.
6. Settle it.
This obliges what I said in key number 1 about your choice to have the existence you need. This is the place a tutor will prove to be useful in light of the fact that whenever you feel your center getting overcast because of diversions or dissatisfaction the person can enable you to refocus to accomplishing your objectives. Your coach is there to control you however the unpleasant occasions when you have a craving for surrendering. Uncovered in mind,however once you begin moving towards your objective you will get some restriction. Remain associated with your coach since he/she can recover your attention on track by helping you to remember the existence you'll have on the off chance that you surrender.
7. Associate yourself with similarly invested individuals.
This key as I would like to think is presumably the most significant of all. You've heard the old saying"You can't fly like a bird in the event that you spend time with the turkies". Pessimistic individuals throughout your life resemble a malignancy in your body. They will give you each reason in the book why they figure you can't accomplish the existence you need. Their central matter to banter with you is the manner in which you grew up or how nobody else in the family has ever done that before,etc,etc. They will even blame you for supposing you're superior to anything them or that you believe you're above them. Nothing could be more remote from reality however in the event that you let all that trash sink into your intuitive you'll wind up scrutinizing your own capacities and quit. I feel compelled to pressure this as much as possible. Separate yourself from antagonistic individuals and nay sayers as much as you can. Keep in mind. "You can't fly like the falcons on the off chance that you ceaselessly spend time with turkies. I realize this is a particularly troublesome advance in view of the long time you've had your present friend network. In any case, this is critical on the off chance that you need to have an exciting life. On the off chance that you need to have what rich individuals have you need to do what affluent individuals do. That incorporates spending the greater part of your waking hrs with similar individuals when you're not on your activity. Continuously keep a pen a paper convenient when you meet with your guide and take notes. They know things that you don't and they're putting aside their important time to instruct how to get all that you need throughout everyday life.
8. Make a move.
This is beyond question the most troublesome key to incorporate in light of the fact that it requires exertion on your part. It doesn't make a difference the amount you need to live the electrifying life,you will never arrive on the off chance that you don't make a move. It doesn't need to be anything huge or extravagant,just one little activity venture at once so you can get into the habbit of getting things done regularly that will take you to your objectives. It's been said that repatition is the way to habbit framing. It's likewise been said that it takes 21 days straight completing a thing for it to turn into a habbit.
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