#not every expressed wish in this post should be taken literally

[acid-ixx]

IM ALMOST DONE

THIS IS GONNA BE GUT-WRENCHING

Taken from the prequel:

you can't deny the bitterness and the clenching of your teeth whenever you stumble upon a room and see your father and your younger brother watching a movie together.

— masterlist !

help ??!? u rlly are feeding the community with ur fanart 🩷 bruce and damian bonding together despite it only being months since he was introduced into the family literally ruins any sliver of hope and only furthers the longing (name) would have, and the fact that they're mere silhouettes in the art is so <33 erm ignore my suddenly disappearance for a day or two, i was feeling unwell 💔

otherwise, here's something for u because i appreciate everything you send me ! ft. post-kidnapped reader with yan! bruce and damian.

bruce and damian after kidnapping you would not take lightly the diary entries you have written, expressing jealousy and contempt towards your biological father and half-brother, about how it was alfred who had to take the time of his busy day to watch a movie with you instead. when you write about how you wished alfred was your father instead, bruce would not only feel his heart clenching but he'd also need the feel to prove himself better than the past, that he can and will be the only father you would ever need.

add damian to the mix, who had his own bouts of jealousy towards you, who wanted to bond with you in ways closer than you ever will with your other siblings, who felt that deep pit of guilt that he knows he could never crawl out of, with his addled tantrums...

— and you get yourself an overtly clingy dynamic with those two in the same room as you. now, instead of both of them dismissing your presence, the two would be fixated upon your every movement, your expressions, your actions. anything and everything would be documented and if you ate less or talked less, damian would always be the first to comment upon it, and your dad (as you should be calling bruce) would take damian's observations seriously. there's no escaping their grips.

no, you can't say no just now! damian wants to watch animal documentaries with you and that's the only thing keeping him from slicing someone's head off their body! what do you mean you don't want to spend time with them? bruce just needs to have his baby by his side and— no, just because you're over 18 doesn't mean your family would lessen their affection towards you! you're still so young and who knows what path of self-destruction you'd bring on yourself if you're left to your own whims.

the family is dysfunctional enough, so any concept of personal space is nonexistent. it makes everything worse if you'd have to deal with more than two people in the same room... and two very strong, capable, and deadly vigilantes who invites you to watch movies with them isn't very soothing to your veins but those hands that can crush your throats are your family and they make it obvious that you're the favorite, that despite the... rough past they inflicted on you, they'll always love you; so what's the point in denying them?

you'll be squashed between your father and your youngest brother on the couch, with fluffy blankets and your favorite show playing in the background. you express any ounce of discomfort and bruce would immediately ask you what's wrong, what do you need, are you hungry, perhaps? is the popcorn stale? or do you want another snack? he'll pause the movie and ask you with practiced precision, the furrow on his brows and analytical eyes are an immediate signal that all your answers are taken seriously. yet despite his intimidating tactics, despite the lack of light in the room casting a shadow on his face, he questions you with your head laid on his chest and a scarred hand trying to soothingly run through your hair.

meanwhile, damian wouldn't even hesitate resting his head on your shoulders, finding it useless to silently express his need for your physical affection. so he takes it in himself to wrap his entire body around your torso, hands locking you in a grip that provides scorching heat under the countless of blankets you're already wrapped in. sometimes, he doesn't even know that he occasionally nuzzles against your neck, and you have no way to push yourself away from him because the position you're in makes you sandwiched between your father's chest and damian's body. and you can't do anything about it but puff, asking your youngest if he could be so kind to at least leave you air to breath.

he'll merely comply, but then it's your legs that would be tangled against each other next, and it'd be soon you'll discover that it's meaningless trying to attempt to escape their affection.

because really, you have no way out of this, not when everyone suddenly insists that bonding time with any siblings or with bruce requires your presence above everybody else's.

[writing-in-the-impala]

Secret Smokes (Part 12)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 3190

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's still reading and leaving lovely comments every time, you are literally my motivation and fuel to keep posting I truly love you all

 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 12, Next Chapter

Remus's office had become your private safe space, you would go there as often as possible without raising suspicions that you weren't in your dorm. You wouldn't sleep there most night but you would sit and listen to music, chat and cuddle before reluctantly walking back to sleep in your own bed. It felt like everything was moving fast but at the same time the only thing that had changed since before Christmas was now you were allowed to cuddle, kiss and speak honestly about how you feel.

Lessons were interesting as you and Remus tried your hardest to avoid suspicions but sometimes you would get lost in each others eyes especially the days after you had just slept together and woken up next to each other. Your tutoring lessons became a lot more flirty as it was just the two of you, Remus started locking the door during them just in case. You still learnt a lot but he would often kiss your neck as he stood behind you helping to guide your hand to preform a spell correctly.

While approaching the first full moon of the year you noticed Remus became more possessive over you. It showed up in small things like telling off Sebastian when he got too touchy in Remus's classes, but he also became more protective, he would walk you back to your dorm at night just in case and he would make you tea and make sure you ate properly. It was as if Remus's emotions were dialled up. Sometime he would bite you when he kissed you, this would become a lot more common closer to the full moon, he would constantly express how he craved you in the days leading up to the full moon. He was less angsty which lead you to believe he was angsty with you because he was frustrated before over all the emotions he had felt in regards to you. The evening of the full moon you were sitting in his office with him, his body was aching and he was sitting on the sofa in pain as you made him a cup of tea with wolfbane inside to help dull it's bitter taste. You bought it over to him stroking his hair lightly. "Here drink this, the wolfbane is inside."

"I'm so lucky to have you." He said gently through the pain. You could tell he appreciated you taking care of him but also wished he didn't need to be taken care of. "I should probably head to the shrieking shack soon." He said looking at his watch.

"I can walk with you." You offered and he gave you a gentle smile.

"No dear, I don't want you anywhere near that place, besides Sirius will probably be there soon so I'll be in safe hands." He stood up masking the pain with a straight face and went to change into clothes that can get destroyed just in case. You walked with him up to the edge of the castle you couldn't kiss him goodbye as it was too risky so you simply opted for a wave as he gave you a longing look and wave back. You couldn't sleep all night, you just thought about Remus's pain. You could hear howls every so often throughout the night which made you feel somehow comfortable as you knew he was close and he was okay. The next day at lunchtime you went to visit his office to check on him. He slowly opened the door leaning most of his weight on his cane and his face changed from profesional to a look of shock and love as soon as he noticed you. "I bought you some chocolate cake from lunch." You said lifting up the small brown bag in your hand. He opened the door wider letting you in and slowly walked over to his desk, sitting down slowly as his body ached with every move. You noticed he was wearing pyjama trousers and a jumper that was more tattered than his usual choices.

"I really appreciate you thinking of me Y/N, but you didn't have to do this for me." He said ripping open the bag to use it as a plate for the cake. "Would you like some?" He offered to you and you shook your head.

"How was the transformation?" You asked as he picked at the cake.

"I don't remember much of it to be honest, I rarely do, I know I didn't get as scratched up this time, but my muscles ache a lot which usually means I moved around a lot."

"Does your human physique affect your wolf physique?" You asked also picking at his cake.

"I never thought about it that way, I think the muscles are linked in some way, no one really studies us." He admitted with a sad face.

"How's the pain?"

"My energy levels are extremely low, currently my bones and muscles ache so I've been simply reading my book in bed and catching up on sleep."

"Sorry for making you leave your bed,"

"Darling it's my pleasure to spend time with you thank you for remembering about me."

"I'm going to have to get back to my lessons but I'll come check on you in the evening." You explained standing up.

"You know you don't have to it's okay if you're busy, I won't be much fun in my condition." He said beginning to stand up but you quickly stopped him so he wouldn't strain himself too much. You pecked his lips lightly goodbye and let yourself out.

The rest of the day was uneventful, you headed over to visit Remus straight away after dinner, bar of chocolate in hand. He opened the door slowly again, you stood on the other side of the door holding up the chocolate bar, covering your face. You peeked to the side from it and he had a huge warm smile on his face.

"If you bring my gifts every time you should come here more often." He moved to the side and you almost hopped in filled with excitement to see Remus.

"Don't get used to it," you plopped yourself down on the sofa making yourself comfortable as Remus slowly walked over and sat down next to you using his cane for support. "What'cha reading?" You asked picking up the book that was laying besides you.

"You'll be glad to hear it's a muggle book, it's called an inspector calls."

"Oh I know that one it's a play."

"I like it, reading it feels like going to the theatre."

"We should go." You expressed not thinking through what you're saying just speaking.

"That's a wonderful idea, let me know a weekend you may be free or maybe we can do it over the a half term."

"Sounds like our next date is planned." You said going in to kiss him this time.

"Just let me heal first." You hugged him but only lightly as you didn't want to hurt him anywhere he may have scars. You sat down pulling out a book of your own while he grabbed a different one off the shelf. "Are you changing books already?"

"Well if we're going to the theatre I don't want to spoil the ending, plus it was beginning to get a little depressing." He slowly lowered himself to sit beside you.

"So you decided to go for?"

"Secrets of the Darkest Art." He replied.

"Because that's so much more enjoyable." You expressed sarcastically.

"I'm refreshing my memory,  what high brow work of fiction might you be reading?"

"Something intellectual." You stayed flashing him with the book cover of Breakfast at Tiffany's making him laugh. "Don't be so smug."

"It's your turn to change the record." He stated as the music finished.

"How did you know it's going to finish?"

"It's your turn to change it." He simply repeated without lifting his eyes from the page.

"Yeah I'm not changing it, it's your turn old man." You said starring at him and he lifted his eyes to meet your gaze.

"I see how much you care about my health when it really matters." He began to slowly stand up making sounds of pain just to tease you and you immediately stopped him and stood up to change it.

"Well maybe you should invest in a CD player or something that you don't have to flip every five seconds, something with a remote."

"Why? I've got you. Besides have you forgotten about magic dear?" He said and the record player shut nearly snapping your fingers and automatically it began to play. "I prefer the way records sound."

"How do you do it so naturally?"

"Do what?"

"Magic." You stated and he shut his book sitting up to face you. "It doesn't come naturally to me, I barely remember it's there, it feels so foreign to me."

"You need to be open to it, I'll teach you, just let me. Don't be so closed off." He said gently placing his hand on your leg and you nodded. "Promise me?" He pushed and you nodded. "You need to use your words Y/N." He said sending a hot flush to your cheeks.

"I promise." You said and he leaned in to kiss you.

The following weeks you kept your promise, you worked hard to learn everything, Remus pushed you to use magic in the evenings in his office making it all feel more natural to you. It took time but you were beginning to use magic for the small stuff. In his officially tutoring lessons you began to move on to learn your Patronus charm.

It was late in the evening on a Monday when you were still trying to get it right, you were so close the spark was coming out of your wand. "Just focus on a memory that is stronger than any other." Remus who was dripping in sweat almost shouted. It had been hours but you both knew you were so close. You tried again and it was close but it wasn't working. "I don't think I can do it." You said in almost defeat.

"That's okay my dear we can try again tomorrow." He said coming up to kiss you, he moved the hair out your face, put his arms around and leaned down placing a gentle kiss on your lips. "You're doing so well, you just need to find the right moment, try and search deeper." He explained and you lingered on his words, you tried many memories, even the one of your first kiss with him but none worked but that's the moment you thought of the day he took you to the lake to see the light bugs the vulnerability but the love you felt in that moment. "Can I try one last time?" You asked and he nodded letting go of you, his hand letting go of yours last as he was stepping back.

"It's okay if you can't do it today, you still have a lot of time to learn." He comforted you and that's when you tried the new memory. You focused your mind and cast the charm and a blinding light came out in front of you, you saw a wolf begin to run around the room but yours and Remus's faces were in utter joy but then you noticed his turn to confusion as he studied the animal. He looked at you with a new look, one filled with love but laced with a hint of fear as he came up to you, arm open putting them around you and pulling you into his chest. He leaned to kiss you and kept repeating. "I'm so proud of you." Between kisses. That night you didn't go back to your dorm but instead Remus decided it was a special enough occasion to open a new bottle of whiskey.

You left early morning to get back to your dorm, reluctantly peeling yourself out of Lupins arms. You tiptoed down the corridor in the direction of your dorm when you saw Percy. Panic set in. You thought about finding a way to avoid him but there was nothing you could do. "L/N." He said as walked past.

"Percy, to what do I owe the pleasure?" You shot him a forced grin.

"Why are you wandering around the halls this early?"

"I just went for a morning stroll." You averted his gaze.

"In last nights clothes?" He pointed out stepping closer to you, looking down his nose almost like Snape would do.

"Percy, please let it go, this doesn't concern you."

"As your prefect-" he began and you scoffed at him walking past but he quickly followed you. "It concerns me when it involves Lupin." You froze as Percy said the words.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You simply stated as Percy came up to you and leaned in tight.

"I've been watching you. He could get fired overnight with his condition, I don't even need to prove that you two are fucking." He whispered in your ear and you automatically went to slap him in the face and push him away from you.

"You're such a prick you don't deserve to be in Gryffindor." You said pulling out your wand and pointing it at him as he stumbled slightly back and pulled out his. You immediately disarmed him and hit him with a stunner. You kept hitting him until he fell on the ground. "I used to consider you my friend." You said trying not to cry.

He got his wand back and hit you with a stunner of his. "That's when I thought you were a nice girl not one that goes around fucking her professors."

His last word was muffled with a loud shout of  "Enough." And both your wands fell to the ground. You both looked in the direction of Lupin who was running up to you followed by McGonagall. He didn't have any words when he reached you but just stood starring at you with an unreadable look while McGonagall caught up behind him. "Mr Weasley, Miss L/N would either of you like to explain to me why you are duelling in the corridor first thing in the morning?" She began standing next to Lupin.

"We were practicing for our exams." You said without skipping a beat.

"Now however good that is of an excuse that doesn't explain why you are both shouting at each other and doing all this in the middle of the hall. I expected better of you both especially a prefect of my house." She caught your bluff.

"Professor may I speak to you in your office it's a personal matter." Percy said not looking at Lupin.

"Very well. Mr Weasley I will see you this afternoon in my office for detention where you can explain yourself and Miss L/N you will report to Professor Lupins office to serve your detention with him." She stated and then looked at Lupin. "If that is okay with you Remus?" She asked him gently and he nodded not taking his eyes off you.

"That's not detention for her, she likes going to his office," Percy protested.

"Then you will serve your detention with Professor Lupin and Miss L/N will report to me. Any more objections Mr Weasley?" She looked down his glasses at her and he shook his head no. "Okay, as you both were." She said waving her hand to signify letting you both go. You both scurried away, no more words exchanged between you and Percy. You looked back to see Lupin and McGonagall walking away side by side, his hands were in his pockets and he looked as if he was explaining something to her you wandered what it may be.

In the evening you went to see McGonagall, the tension was thick in the room as you entered. Her office was very different to Lupins, it had a similar shape but it was significantly bigger, it felt a lot more wooden and less comfortable but it still felt like it was full of love. Her personality came through in the small rug on the floor and the framed picture all over the wall behind her desk. When she questioned you as to what caused the fight with Percy you were most honest beginning with "You see Professor, Percy likes me as more than a friend and I've rejected his advances many times, I kissed a boy at a party on New Year's Eve and he's been annoyed with me ever since." She nodded to show she's following your story however you could tell she was lost as to how this is relevant. "So he's now in a vendetta to ruin my life because I don't like him." You finished and she nodded.

"How did this lead to you duelling in the hall?" She asked calmly.

"I'll admit something, I didn't go back to my own bed last night, I was heading back in the morning and Percy confronted me, started threatening to get me in trouble, his face was very close to mine like he was about to kiss me or spit on me so I slapped him to get him off me." She simply nodded.

"Miss L/N to me it sounds like things in terms of self defence, however why were you both still fighting when Professor Lupin and I approached."

"He was pissed off-"

"L/N." She warned.

"Sorry, he was annoyed. He kept shouting at me and he was holding his wand and I just thought I should disarm him, it all happened quite fast." You explained.

"I have to say Miss L/N I'm proud to hear you naturally used magic like that. I see Professor Lupins tutoring is very useful, I'm truly proud of the enormous progress you've made this year. After your exams you owe that man champagne." She said her tone was motherly, her last sentence made you smile.

"You are right professor, I owe Professor Lupin a lot for all his help this year." You felt comfort speaking with her about him and also quite excited to speak well of him with someone else.

"I don't know how much you know about him however I remember when he joined Hogwarts he was alike you in your early years, I think that's why you both get so well along."

"What do you mean professor?"

"Well you were both just as cautious and untrusting of magic-"

"He was untrusting of magic?" You questioned finding her words amusing.

"He has been hurt by magic at a young age and it meant he wanted very little to do with our world, it, being at Hogwarts didn't feel natural to him at first."

"I know about his condition." You blurted out.

"Well then he must trust you very much. He's a good man, we're very lucky to have him in the school, he cares a lot and wants to help." She said and you nodded feeling awkward, you didn't know what to say as a yes would be weird. "Anyway I've gotten chatty, I apologise, you're free to go, thank you for your honesty." She said dismissing you.

"Thank you professor and thank you for the chat." You said standing up.

"My pleasure." She had a warm smile as she looked back down at the paperwork in front of her and you left. You felt positive.

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

A/N: Yes Inspector Calls is a nod to David Thewlis being in the BBC adaptation of the play

Tags (if you aren't here but want to be leave a reply and I'll add you or DM me to get removed):

@thesoundresoundsecho @ahoyyharrington @merleisapartygod @sting-0f-ennui @starchaser-lily @ashisabitgay @livingordeadwhoknows @v0relino @evie-beanie @whotfskai @admiringyou @lily-mylove @kirubi @ghostbandghostcodghostface @rockymiles @99tech99 @almizz1

@standepechemode @lovingdilfss @artvoyager @sofacover @bubblegum9468 @spidermansolosurfav @harleyanderson2004 @kissmeunicornbaobei @marine-mayday @beelzebzb @universallyblizzardlove @liv2post @amoraneuro @xluansstuff @sizzlingthingnerd @bethsvrse @mrsgweasley @that1nerd-20

[leahsgf]

omg could u write adult lottie x reader?? maybe w lottie js comforting reader or something? theres such a lack in lottie fics its heartbreaking :((

an instant cure

pairings. adult!lottie x reader

i actually wrote two different versions of this! the other is a little more heavy so i’ll post this one first, thank you so much for the req! and i agree i wish there was more fics out there for lottie :(

-

“honey are you coming?” lottie’s voice sounded from the other side of the bathroom door, so soft and full of love that you could almost melt.

“yeah, yeah. just a second!” you shook off the threatening tears as you glanced over your appearance in the mirror. it’d been one of those days that had just been off. nothing particularly out of the ordinary had happened, just the usual jobs and classes around the compound, but since you had woken up you had felt like you had a brick sat on your chest, refusing to shift.

you were desperately clinging to the logical side of your brain, trying to convince yourself that it was all in your head and to not let your thoughts completely overwhelm you. however nothing could quite quell the crummy feeling lingering in your gut.

you’d been delaying leaving the bathroom and joining your wife in bed because you didn’t want to dampen her mood. she was a constant beam of light, and spent her days helping people navigate their feelings purely out of the goodness of her own heart, and the last thing you wanted to do was to taint her high spirit and put her back into work mode when she should be relaxing. maybe, you thought, spending a second longer getting ready would be able to shake that off you - but, you were mistaken. so with a deep breath you opened the door, heading towards your shared bedroom.

your entrance instantly caught lottie’s attention, her eyes softening as she saw you, instantly plastering a smile across your features. “come on.” she demaned lightheartedly, holding up the sheets. “get over here.” you laughed and waltzed over, snuggling down next to her, inhaling her scent and instantly feeling comforted, and lighter.

the fuzzy feeling surrounding you reminded you of the first time you’d had the pleasure of being taken out on a date by her, decades ago, before the thought of nationals, before the crash, before switzerland, before everything. the pair of you had genuinely been through it all, and had always had each-other.

you’d met lottie when you were six. you were the terrified, shy new kid, and had refused to speak to anybody for the entirety of your first day. until she had toddled over, plonking herself down next to you and wordlessly started braiding your hair, beaming at you with her gappy smile.

her playing with your hair had always been a huge comfort to you - from the playground decades ago, to now, wrapped in her embrace from as she pressed kisses to the crook of your neck every now and again.

alongside her ability to love beyond belief, one of the things you loved the most about lottie was how observant she was, the little things that would fall unnoticed to most being the things that she would notice the most. she quite literally knew you inside and out, and was in touch with your emotions just as much, if not more than her own.

her fingers branched out from your hair, feathering over your cheeks ever so slightly, pulling you back into reality.

“what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” she quizzed, her eyes studying your expression.

“just thinking about you.” you replied, so softly it was barely audible. “about the first day we met.”

“oh yeah?” she raised an eyebrow, the very same smile from that day spread across her cheeks. “you were so cute. i think i knew i loved you from the second my eyes set on you that day.” your eyes glazed over once more as your cheeks heated in response to her words.

after a moment of silence that fell between you, she nudged you slightly, an expectant look across her features, sighing softly as you met it with confusion.

“i don’t help people navigate their feelings everyday for nothing you know. what’s actually going on?”

“nothing,” you mumbled, “honestly, it was just a weird day.”

“weird?” her eyebrows furrowed as she scolded herself internally for busying herself today to the point of missing that you weren’t a hundred percent.

“yeah. just off. you know those days that just feel wrong, even though you don’t really know why?”

“absolutely baby.” she assured. “please always tell me or just give me a signal when you’re feeling like this. you are my top priority, always.” she pulled you into her arms further, caressing your back as she pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“thank you lot. i’m honestly feeling much better now. it’s quietened down a lot.”

“you sure? i don’t want you feeling icky before bed. i know it can take a while for it to let you relax sometimes. i could make you a smoothie? one of the ones you really like? o-or i could run us a bubble bath? or give you-“ she rambled, her brain scrambling for every possible way to comfort you, not realising that she is comfort enough.

“hey, hey.” you stopped her, a small chuckle slipping past your lips. “all i need is you, right here with me. i promise.”

lottie grinned over at you, pausing her train of very enticing ideas. “as long as you’re sure. i can very much do that. i’m not going anywhere.” she shifted your position so your head lay on her chest, her arms securely around your frame, almost cradling you. butterflies erupted within you, like they always had done at the slightest touch from her. she had had this effect on you for as long as you had known her.

“i love you so much.” you whispered, sleep now fully prepared to overcome you.

“i love you more sweetheart. don’t hesitate to wake me if you need me.” she soothed, gently squeezing you as your lips met hers to say goodnight.

lottie had always been like an instant cure to every negative emotion you had ever experienced. it seemed to again of worked effectively, as you drifted off to sleep happier than you’d been all day, knowing that you could get through anything as long as you had your love.

[makingspiritualityreal]

Lessons from my Anime Phase

Many years ago, before I matured into my spiritual journey, this used to be an anime blog. I don't regret this phase of my life, even though I completely outgrew it, because I believe it taught me something important.

The content of a creation is more important than the form. There is anime (sadly not as many as you would think) that is a good piece of art. There are regular movies that suck. I'm still waiting for a movie as good at depicting the power of wishful thinking and self repression as Perfect Blue. These years taught me to look deep beyond the surface form and into the meaning of any creation.

Supressing one's emotions leads to serious repercussions. One of the reasons some people find anime so weird is because it is literally an outlet for the collective mentality and emotionality of Japanese societal pressure. It feels exaggerated, but it is a reaction to the external forced numbness and politeness the Japanese society is plagued with. If you don't deal with how you feel regularly and don't express it and process it, if you don't make friends with your demons, you keep bubbling like a cauldron. It leads to having a very edgy, very draining life, not being present with yourself. It leads to not being able to function and ultimately making simple things feel like the end of the world.

Getting older is awesome. I would never come back to my past. Every morning felt like torture. Sometimes, even if life is never perfect, it moves you on in simpler ways that allow for balance. Establishment of healthy routines does wonders for mental peace. The Universe putting you in an environment where you can do that, after years of having that taken away from you, feels blissful. With time comes perspective and you can see your life shaping up and taking you somewhere. That allows you to approach the rest of your life with the same philosophy. I can read this post another 10 years into the future, and think wow, my life got even better. But at least now I try to be relaxed about it and no to overthink how every tiny little thing can go and I don't try to control or micromanage the future, even if it's sometimes hard.

Youth is overrated. Very few people really get to enjoy being young and hot, and those that do, are probably on YouTube's most watched list now. Being young and hot only pays off if you happen to be an artist, you're in a good film, or you're lucky enough to be in a music video. With those things, you build a legacy you will have forever. But most young women spend their youth and beauty on dating guys they wish they could forget in their 30s. At least I can say I spent it on doing the right thing, refining myself, self development and spiritual growth, which I am really proud of. I was younger and "hotter" once, but paradoxically I feel like I'm becoming more beautiful. I had absolutely no benefits from being young. I had no good relationships and everyone irl always criticized me for breathing. I never felt attractive. My highlights were compliments from my online friends, because no one around me actually thought well of me in my physical life. I'm married now, but this is my first serious adult relationship. I didn't have any good relationships with anyone that really appreciated my looks or personality back then. So whatever has passed, hasn't really been used anyway. I was very insecure because I lived surrounded by unfair criticism from many people, who should have been supporting me but betrayed me. Maybe some people have fun in their youth, I honestly didn't. Moving away from all the people that made my youth something I'm glad to put behind me was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Being different growing up is hell for everybody, no matter what form it takes. Being an outcast is probably the number one debilitating thing that makes youth difficult. You have no role models, you have no support, you endure extra pressure. But over time, even those that are different end up finding their place, and they realise they were just different to people around them in their early environment, but they're not that different from the rest of the world, and there is a niche out there for everybody. Even if you have to create one yourself, someone will flock to it. Being yourself trumps compromising your authenticity every day.

[jangmo-othewarrior]

DMC Questions Anon here!

Before you read this next question:

I was informed that it would be a good idea for my questions to be answered with a specific tag so if people wish to block it they could. Please tag your answers to any question I send you with "dmc questions anon" and I think that should work.

If you wish to be taken off the list, ask. If somebody wishes to be placed on the list, ask. If your anon asks are off and you wish to participate, just make a post answering the question you see going around.

Remember you do not have to answer every question, so please don't feel pressured to do so.

Please also remember to take as long as you need! Do not rush yourself, this is supposed to be a fun activity and I don't want anyone to feel stressed out by trying to rush to answer questions.

Now onto the actual question:

How would you rank the 5 games in the Devil May Cry series? (By story)

Separately, if you want, how would you rank extended material? (The DMC1 Novel, The DMC3 Mangas, The Anime, The DMC2 Novel, Deadly Fortune, Before the Nightmare, and Visions of V, all of which can be found (along with other stuff) here: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html)

If you wish, how would you rank all of it together in one big list?

DMC QUESTIONS ANON!! :D

Okay, I'm gonna do everything together, but i will preface this by saying i have a lot more exposure to some things than others, thus I will have varying degrees of 'much to say'.

DMC 5

I'm definitely biased for this (it's the one that got me into the franchise) but I digress.

FAMILY THEMES BABI MY FAVORITE THING

I just adore the main cast so much u do not understand. So much hype shit happens with em too, it's great. The characters are simultaneously over the top but also very real? Like Dante is the wacky woo-hoo pizza man but also horribly in control of his emotions and how to express them.

The Vergil reveal was so obvious but I dont care. It's good. The depths given to his character through V and Urizen are VERY good.

And NERO- lord everyone in this family has trauma

Also SDT was introduced in this game I'm sorry but no piece of DMC media will be able to top this because of it.

2. DMC 3

is anyone surprised

I love the bois so much, with their stupid catchphrases and horrible family dynamics. it's so weird looking at them like

I was nighteen once. I wasn't like them but I was nighteen.

Also the THEMES once again center around family, especially with the addition of Lady and Arkum. I also love this cast SO MUCH

except arkum fuck arkum all the homies hate arkum

Literally the only reason this is lower than DMC 5 is because no Nero, Trish or Nico. That's it.

3. Visions of V

i haven't talked about him much but I would also gently hold V (and by extension Vergil)

Really I just love this manga because of how much is shown and revealed through it. Everything is really visceral and hits so hard.

Literally everything in this manga stabs u in the feels especially the final shit GOOD LORD

but it really is tied with #4 because it can't really stand by itself? It needs DMC 5 to be whole, in a way.

4. DMC 4

I really wanted to put this above VoV but my DMC 5 bias shown through in the end IM SORRY

also yeah Sanctus as a villian is dogshit, i agree

and some characters REALLY needed more screen time (see: Credo, Angus, KYRIE) but also this game has the Shakespeare scene so....

also I just love Nero and his teen angst can u blame me

But GOD did Kyrie need more screentime

5. Before the Nightmare

Wow the DMC 5 bias strikes again, huh.

IDK man I just love the prequel shit. Like, Nico and Nero meeting is so fucking funny

Also Lucia makes an appearance for the first time since DMC 2 so thats cool

It also expanded the lore on how devil arms work through Balrog which I am SO thankful for.

Also Roc Goldstein exists now and everyone should know about one of the ONLY GOOD DADS in DMC history

Really the only other one I give my full respect to is Sparda, and he died when his kids were like, six. (Dante and Vergil r getting there tho, give em time.)

6. The Anime

Look Patty is the only reason this is so high I love her and if u look at my previous posts u can tell I love her and Dante's father daughter relationship u can pry it out of my cold dead hands

Also the lore with Sparda's apprentices, demon smoners being a thing, and the introduction to Morrison is very nice.

But also Lady was WAY off the mark almost the entire time, and the plot with Patty only really took center stage towards the end so :(

ALSO THEY DIDNT EVEN SHOW DEVIL TRIGGER IN FULL I WILL NEVER FORGIVE CAPCOM FOR THIS INJUSTICE

capcom if u put Patty in more shit I will forgive you (maybe)

7. DMC 1 novel

This novel is weird because it was written before almost all of the other shit so Canon often either ignored it or bent over backwards to avoid it until the DMC 5 era

But I like it. All of the new characters r very good and I love them all.

Grues death STILL hits me in the feels so hard.

Dante has lost so many parental figures ya'll

One of the only reasons it's so low is because of Gilver, the fuck

He made NO fucking sense for the longest time until the timeline rewrite and the retcon that he's a Vergil clone.

That fits his character so much more bur looking at him as Vergil makes no fucking sense. Everything about his character contradicts what we know about Vergil, even back with only DMC 3 as a reference.

Despite those issues, i am very happy we are seeing some rep for this book in the games and other media. U do not understand the screech I let out when Grue's daughters were shown years later.

8. DMC 1

is this sacrilegious?

Yeah the gameplay is good and it was a hallmark of its time but also Dante is as stale as cardboard here I'm sorry

Like his plot is the most uniform and overdone revenge plot I have ever seen and his relationship with Trish....

it's funky in this game, let me tell u. Thank whatever higher power exists that they leaned more towards siblings in later installments because I would be pulling my hair out otherwise.

But the quips r also really good and all of the Nelo Angelo stuff is my favorite part of the plot, so I guess that evens out?

This game was a very good launching point for the rest of the series except u know what

Also fuck mundus all the homies hate mundus he sucks

9. Deadly Fortune

Uhhh yeah it's just.... DMC 4 again with some things changed?

Honestly the reason this is so low is because of my preferred way of absorbing story is through video games than manga.

It's okay. Not trash or anything. It's just alright

10. DMC 3 Mangas

They're ... fine? I guess.

Like the first meeting between the twins in YEARS is very good, but also the manga is unfinished and all...

So I'll just leave it at that.

11. DMC 2 Novel

Gonna be honest I've never read this one.

So I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt

12. DMC 2

Yeah remember when I said Dante was cardboard in DMC 1? Yeah now he's silent, emotionless cardboard.

the villian is bad, the location is okay i guess, really the only saving grace for this games story is the concepts it introduces

Demon civil wars? Artificial demons created by people? Those are cool concepts! So cool that one was reused in a much better game, but I digress.

Honestly the story is probably one of the least sacrilege parts of DMC 2, and it still isn't the worst piece of DMC media based on story. That goes to our surprise contender....

13. DMC: Devil May Cry

DMC questions anon did NOT ask for this, but I'm putting it here so that everyone understands that this games story and characters are SO BAD that I'm putting UNDERNEATH DMC 2

But what can I say that hasn't been already stated?

Vergil is so far out of character he's basically an OC and his turn around at the end makes no fucking sense

Donte is an asshole who has functionally abandoned what made Dante likeable in ANY GAME

The plot itself is the most rehashed 'the government is evil and we must resist it' plot EVER

Even the new shit they added for this game doesn't even fucking work well.

Having demons that look like angels be the antagonists is much more interesting that just having angels and having them do NOTHING

Kat is literally the only thing that I don't have a super negative opinion on because she was NEW and I hadn't watched them fuck up a character I love. They just made a mediocre one at best

Needless to say, I utterly despise the plot of this game with my entire being.

Thank you for the question, DMC Questions Anon! I'm sorry I went a bit off script, but I hope it was at least entertaining.

[omorinintendoswitchedition]

DMC Questions Anon here!

Before you read this next question:

I was informed that it would be a good idea for my questions to be answered with a specific tag so if people wish to block it they could. Please tag your answers to any question I send you with "dmc questions anon" and I think that should work.

If you wish to be taken off the list, ask. If somebody wishes to be placed on the list, ask. If your anon asks are off and you wish to participate, just make a post answering the question you see going around.

Remember you do not have to answer every question, so please don't feel pressured to do so.

Please also remember to take as long as you need! Do not rush yourself, this is supposed to be a fun activity and I don't want anyone to feel stressed out by trying to rush to answer questions.

Now onto the actual question:

How would you rank the 5 games in the Devil May Cry series? (By story)

Separately, if you want, how would you rank extended material? (The DMC1 Novel, The DMC3 Mangas, The Anime, The DMC2 Novel, Deadly Fortune, Before the Nightmare, and Visions of V, all of which can be found (along with other stuff) here: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html)

If you wish, how would you rank all of it together in one big list?

Omg hiii anon!!!!

I’m gonna be honest and say I haven’t made my way through all the dmc side content yet, I’ve only managed to read Visions of V so I guess I have to rank that number one. Ive also watched some of the anime, but not enough to really give it a firm rank. I’ve been kinda busy lately so I just haven’t had the time to finish reading all the novels

And onto the games!!!!!!

Number 5:Dead last

Devil May Cry 2. Okay yeah this should not be a surprise. DMC2 failed in pretty much every category when it comes to games. The story is just mind numbingly boring. Let’s move on

Number 4:Pretty Eh but doesn’t really hold up well with the later entries

Devil May Cry 1. Someone on Reddit said this the best but when you compare it to later entries DMC1 kinda feels like filler. I am all for a DMC1 remake of it means giving Mundus a much more satisfying ass whooping (and more screen time for Trish!!!! She deadass isn’t there for half the game!!!! I literally forgot she existed in that game halfway through!!!!)

Number 3:Concepts were great but man they missed some potential

Devil May Cry 4. The concepts of a religious cult ruling and island and creating angels from the power of demons rules. And putting us in a position where Dante was the “bad guy” was actually really cool. But half of the game is just backtracking as Dante which puts the story on hold. The scrapped concepts for DMC4 were so cool and so should’ve been included man :((

Number 2:Overcoming your daddy issues

Devil May Cry 3. Dante and Lady both had amazing arcs throughout this game. With Dante accepting his repressed past and demon side and proudly claiming himself as son of Sparda who harbours his soul. It’s enough to make a grown man cry. And Lady’s arc of learning that not all demons are evil, and finally being able to extract revenge on her father. And who can forget that famous “even a devil May cry when he looses someone he loves” line. And I ain’t gonna pretend Vergil wasn’t a banger part of this game’s story cause he was a banger part of this game’s story. A man who seeks power to the point of self-destruction. Who is just as fucked up as Dante but refuses to let himself feel those emotions, and instead filling the blanks with raw strength. And the post credits scene with Mundus…..biting and chewing and killing……ough the post credits scene with Mundus…..

Number 1:That’s intergenerational trauma babyyyy

Devil May Cry 5. As much as I mald and seethe about how dirty Lady and Trish were done in DMC5 I truly do fucking love DMC5. Watching Vergil finally gain the capability to express his emotions and be able to reconcile with his past and his trauma and work for a better future got me wailing and weeping. Watching Nero be able to prove that yes, he is powerful and capable as a devil hunter got me weeping and wailing. Seeing Dante and Vergil finally being able to reconstruct their sibling bond after so many years and keep their sibling rivalry on less violent terms got me weeping and wailing. Everything about V got me wailing and weeping. Nico was such a good addition to this franchise with her personality and how she bounces off the others with her snarky little remarks and was a good source of comedy relief during rough times. The passing of the torch moment was honestly so powerful and I’m actually really looking forward to seeing how Nero can carry on that torch through the series. And the references to the DMC anime in the forms of Patty and Morrison were really neat too.

[susansontag]

it's true that a lot of people online give themselves permission to say "dramatic" things about strangers because it's sadly very normalized here. but i don't think we necessarily need to swoop on the lowest level attainable and choose between different forms of violent speech every time we are really angry about something, emotionally mature people are capable of expressing strong opinions without wishing violence on the person they disagree with. instead of diverting with the whataboutism, you could just answer the question if you really care so much. what did you mean by what you wrote and if you didn't mean it at all then why not admit that you misspoke? what could the consequences possibly be?

I can see you're really clinging to this and I understand because I've done this before with bloggers on here too especially women. but I was not saying dramatic things about any targeted stranger, I was introducing a hypothetical and then giving an example of the kind of - imo - unhinged behaviour I meant. it must be kept in mind this was a throwaway joke post, made in about a few minutes or so

this is a very personal admission and shouldn't be taken as anything more than musing, but I actually have a type of obsessive compulsive disorder that used to make me feel very, strongly guilty about even saying 'I want this person to die' (and I could be talking about a world leader whose policies are responsible for killing millions of people!). I avoided any sense of moral ambiguity in anything I said because I was truly terrified this meant I was a 'bad person' who 'condoned violence' etc. but the truth is, I've given myself the permission that other ordinary people allow themselves all the time, to just say whatever it is I think, no matter if it's a bit silly, or hyperbolic, or whatever; because I should be allowed the grace in interpretation that other people are afforded when they say throwaway comments like this, too. from others (though you don't always get it, which is fine), but also from myself. the reason being is that it's not actually a huge deal or something to get so hung up on

so yes, like you, I have certain standards of conduct; I rarely (or perhaps nowadays never?) say people should 'kill themselves', for example, because this feels personal to me as someone with mental health issues who cares deeply about these topics. I can assure you, if I had even remotely been alluding to domestic violence against women when I quipped 'should be slapped', it would not have been written. I would have deleted it and written something else. this, of course, doesn't insulate me from the interpretations of others who take it a different way, either maliciously assigning significance to it that wasn't there to try and get the upper hand in an argument, or because they truly misread me and are perhaps upset I used language like that. I hope, at least, I've been able to clear up my intentions here

that said, I won't be apologising for the throwaway comment. I have considered it in writing this post and have written nothing that troubles me or my values. I'm sorry we disagree, but I still don't believe it's a big deal. you ofc don't have to accept that and can hold yourself to whatever standards of, well, discussion, posting, articulating yourself, idk, that you like. but you can't get someone else to repent for misbehaviour just because you wouldn't allow yourself it or dislike it. there was no literal person or even a concrete group against which I was threatening an actual act of violence; it was purely hypothetical to get a point across about how silly and ridiculous I find something. I believe to most people this came across loud and clear

[1d1195]

the WAY I LITERALLY do the same too when I’m about to mention my friend “Sam” to any irls bahaha but honestly you’re living your double life but that’s kinda cool! Its giving Hannah Montana lol

Teaching is hard, but teaching math is like ?!?!? I mean math does get a bad rep and I have been a hater ngl lol but like it’s not a YOU problem ya know lol so I wouldn’t blame you for being over teaching some kids and some are just straight up menaces lol

And THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES BESTIE!!!! I love you very much❤️!!!! My psych exam wasn’t too bad tbh! I immediately dipped once I finished my exam bc I was not staying for the lecture portion! And I did have my first legal drink!! It was a peach flavored wine! And honestly tasted like juice which I loved lol

And a nice surprise was most definitely reading the final chapter of Dolcezza!! Let me tell you… IT WAS SO GOOD OMG!! THE SUSPENSE WAS GREAT! Omg I was so anxious while reading it, in a good way though! When I tell you I was so scared for the MC… LIKE MY GIRL DID NOT DESERVE ANY OF THAT! And my heart literally BROKE while reading the convo Harry had with the stalker :( it was just so sick reading how he talked about her and how she loves playing “games” with him. And how he knew every detail of her schedule… LITERALLY A PIT IN MY STOMACH! And when he called her HONEY I WANTED TO VOMITT BC IT SOUNDS SO GROSS COMING FROM THAT MAN😭in my head the stalker got fucked up by Harry like bad bahaha like I said I’m not for violence but yeah Harry was left✨ untouched ✨lol

And her family coming to her :( it was so nice seeing them like outwardly express their concern for her if that makes sense? It was nice to see how she was being taken care of since it’s typically the opposite! It’s SUCKS that it had to come from this situation but hopefully in future blurbs we can see their relationship change!

Ahh I just love them so much! I did not expect it to end this way but honestly THIS WAS A GREAT WAY TO END IT!!!!! I could never be disappointed with anything you post! You will always amaze me!!!-💜

I always wanted to be Hannah Montana so here's my moment hahaha

I've wanted to be a teacher since I was in kindergarten. Math I figured out a bit later, but I won't bore you with the details of my geekiness (If you think my writing is good, you should see my Complex Analysis HW 😍🤓)

The only alcohol I like drinking MUST taste like juice. Otherwise I won't drink it (whiskey tastes like shoe leather 🤢) Peach Sangria is one of my my FAVORITE summer drinks! So happy for you, glad you had a good birthday! A lecture after an exam??? That is surely a crime. Def glad you left in favor of celebrating

hehehe I'm saving any writing skills about fighting (which are none--I will need to study Rocky and Creed movies) for another story 😉 so for Dolcezza I am hoping everyone won't mind having to read between the lines but yes. I'm fairly certain Harry knocked him unconscious and shoved him in the laundry room. I know it wasn't very nice, but I definitely wanted people to feel anxious and nervous. I wanted him to sound creepy 😭 so I'm glad you felt what I was trying to do, thank you for that!

The family thing was a little spur of the moment, but I thought she deserved a little more attention than normal from them 💕

I posted it in another ask but honestly it wasn't exactly the ending I was originally going to go with but yeah! I'm glad you loved it! Hope you have a relaxing weekend now that exams are done for the week (hopefully) Love you lots!

xoxo

[cisn0flake]

"The post is about what makes abortion a right and what is a right to begin with. It was asking if you can define what a right is and you could not. Which proves my point."

Abortion is a right because it's an expression and extension of one's right to bodily autonomy.

The same way owning a gun is a right because it's an expression and extension of one's right to self defense.

Abortion is a medical practice. Guns are a man made object. Neither are natural. Neither are inherently tied to any human right. But at the same time they are, because they exist as tools that let us fully enforce and express our rights completely.

A right is a protection or entitlement. Natural rights or human rights are rights that aren't granted by meeting any condition other than being a human being.

"This is completely untrue and something you just made up."

That's literally just one example of the definition of the right to bodily autonomy / bodily integrity.

Did I make up that definition? Yes, I did. I didn't copy and paste, I just used my understanding of bodily autonomy, bodily integrity, and personal ownership to formulate a simple definition I knew you could understand. You can find other definitions similar to mine all over the internet.

Is it untrue? Absolutely not. You own your own body. You control your own body. To claim otherwise is like to claim that no one has a right to life. It's asinine, logically wrong, and morally wrong.

"Nowhere is the right to bodily autonomy described as inalienable or unconditional."

Bodily autonomy is a human right, and like all other human rights, it is unalienable (it cannot be rightfully or justly taken away) and is unconditional (granted to all humans without exception).

"You can’t just decide that it’s inalienable because you want it to be. That’s not how rights work. Where did you get the idea it’s inalienable?"

It's. A. Human. Right.

So unless you think bodily autonomy isn't a human right or that human rights an alienable or conditional (both of which are horrible things to believe) your questions are starting to not make any sense.

"The harm principle explains why your assertion is false. Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. You have the right to do what you wish with your body so long as you are not causing harm to someone else."

That's why I said the rights of the unborn should be disregard in favor of the rights of the mother. The born should come first, always.

"If what you said is true then every law is a violation of that right. It’s not inalienable or unconditional. It does in fact have limits and these limits are present when another person is involved."

It's not. There is no law that violates the right to bodily autonomy (except anti abortion laws)

"You know what actually is an inalienable right, though? The right to life."

As unrightful and unjust as it is, the rights of born should always take presidence, even if they strip the unborn of their right to life. That is my personal moral opinion.

"This right here is why your ideology is evil. You are promoting evil by suggesting that one person is worth more than another. Your evil ideology demands that you do not see people as equal."

You pro lifers do the exact same thing. You just value the unborn more than the born. The exact opposite of what pro choicers do.

I'm pro choice because I believe valuing the unborn more than the born is intrinsically immoral and illogical.

You look at the fetus and say "You matter more".

I look at the mother and say "You matter more".

Now you're gonna say something like "That's not what we believe at all."

But it is.

It doesn't matter the situation or the risks the mother faces. You always put the unborn first. Because being pro life neccesitates valuing them above the the mother.

I believe that although it is unrightful and unjust, the right to bodily autonomy of the mother should be valued more than the right to life of the unborn.

You believe that although it is unrightful and unjust, the right to life of the unborn should be valued more than the right to bodily autonomy of the mother.

Both stances are objectively evil. Both stances take away someone's human rights. Both stances hold more intrinsic value in one person than the other.

Whether or not someone is pro choice or pro life is not based on what is evil, but what they believe is evil.

"You do not care about human life or human rights. You care about particular people and just fuck the rights of those you deem worthless."

An incorrect and baseless attack on my beliefs, which you know nothing about.

"What we do is look at the rights that are in conflict and determine the greatest right. Which is always the right to life. It is the most important right and it trumps bodily autonomy."

That's your opinion. In actuality they are equal because they need each other to exist.

You need ownership of your body to claim you have a right to life, and you to be alive to claim ownership of your body.

If you don't own your body, then it's not your life to claim you have a right to. If you're not alive, you can't claim ownership of your body as a right.

Rights flow from other rights. That's how we determine the most important right. You continue going up until you reach the right that lets all other rights be possible. But the right to bodily autonomy and the right to life flow from each other. They are intrinsically equal.

"If she “desperately wants” her baby she would not be fighting the state to get permission to murder them."

If she gives birth (as in if the baby survives to term) she will be forced to undergoes a c section due to the babies condition, which has a sizable possibility to render her infertile.

If the baby dies before being born, she has a sizable risk to suffer from sepsis and die.

She can't have another healthy baby if this one renders her infertile or dead.

Pro lifers do not care about rights of the mother.

They only care about the unborn.

They don't care that Kate Cox's life is under threat, they don't care that her ability to have children is under threat.

It's not about which is the greater right, it's only about the unborn.

It always has been.

PS. I feel the need to expand upon my argument.

If being pro life was about the greater right, pro lifers would support Kate Cox. But they don't.

With Kate Cox it's not Mothers right to bodily autonomy Vs Babies right to life, it's Mother rights to bodily autonomy, life, and reproduction Vs Babies right to life.

Kate Cox wins out here. You should be supporting her because she's the one with the greater right at risk.

But you don't, because being pro life is about the unborn, not about the greater right.

The pro death side keeps saying "Abortion is a woman's right! Abortion is a woman's right!" Have you ever heard any explanations as to why they consider abortion to be a right? Or what they believe constitutes something as a right? If you have then I would be interested in hearing, I'd like to understand their reasoning. Personally I just see it as a nothing-excuse for "I deserve an abortion because I want one!"

I have a degree in philosophy and I study law so being involved with legal philosophy I'm quite familiar with what a right is. A right exists as either an entitlement to have something or as an authority over somebody. I can't see how an abortion could be justified on those grounds though. Rights are intrinsic because they are given to us by God our Creator and everyone has equal rights. Where do pro deathers get the idea then that God gives all women the right to kill their children? Does the right always exist with a female or is the right gained once a girl has fully matured into a woman and is thus able to bear children? I have the impression that pro deathers believe rights are ultimately given to us by the legislature and anything can be made into a right if we want it to be.

Sorry for the late response I'm not sure how I missed this in my inbox but I somehow did!

I actually haven't heard any of them explain what they think a right is or what makes something a right, they just scream the line because it's one of the talking points. The closest thing I've ever gotten from any of them when asking what makes abortion a right is just because the Supreme Court had decided it was one. So legally it's a constitutional right. Even though that's been overturned now they still claim it's a right but I've yet to hear any of them try to articulate what a right is and how abortion fits the definition.

And I think like with most things they talk about, they simply do not know. They have no idea what rights are and they ignore and dismiss actual fundamental human rights because bodily autonomy is a right. Abortion is a right! Ok but so is the right to life? But for some reason that right doesn't matter to them. And it seems like it should if their main line for abortion is "it's a right!" They act like being a right is the most important thing but strange how there's only one right they act that way about.

"You must allow me to kill my child because it's a right!"

"What about your child's rights?"

"You must allow me to kill my child because it's a right!"

I'm convinced they 100% do not know what they are saying.

I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head "I deserve an abortion because I want one." From the way they talk I think they think rights are defined by what they personally want. Abortion? It's a right because they want it. And that's as deep as it goes for them. It's a completely selfish ideology from beginning to end. It's an ideology where you have two people and one gets all the rights and the other person gets none.

They don't know what rights are and they don't actually care. They just use the line because they think it will get them what they want.

[liskantope]

[Content note: not going to be very charitable or thorough about my views on the general issue of recent developments on Roe vs. Wade, or bother cluttering this up with qualifications.]

Caught in the midst of another wave of work, I've been a little late in picking up the details of the leak of Alito's document and the fact that it represents the soon-forthcoming opinion of the Supreme Court as a whole in favor of overturning Roe vs. Wade.

I distinctly remember 4-5 years ago stating confidently to people that I just couldn't imagine it ever being overturned, not because the public tide would ever shift overwhelmingly in favor of pro-choice (as has been the case with same-sex marriage for instance), but because enough of the country favored the legality of abortion (a clear majority), and enough of that subset felt strongly enough about it, that there would be massive protests and rioting such as those of us who are reasonably young would have never seen in our lifetimes. The Supreme Court was clearly to a great extent a representation of political winds (much as this was against its premise of course), and the politicians-that-be on both sides of the aisle would surely be far too afraid of the violent public backlash to dare allow RvW to be overturned. Chipped away at through incremental legislation in dozens of states perhaps, but not straight-up reversed on the level of SCOTUS.

Then in summer 2020 I got a taste of what severe social unrest and widespread angry protesting/rioting look like. And still I remember saying (probably to myself, because I wasn't talking to many people at the time), "If RvW gets overturned, there will be protesting and rioting on a level that makes all this George Floyd stuff look like a joke in comparison."

But now that it's actually happening, I'm not sure that there will be anywhere near that much of a reaction. And I have complex feelings about that.

On the one hand, it's very easily possible to exaggerate how disastrous the effects of the overturning will be (I expect a good percentage of Americans sloppily confuse it with a ruling banning abortion everywhere for instance, alternate routes to abortion are more feasible than they were 50 years ago, etc.). And I consider protesting to have some positive but limited utility (while rioting has negative utility). On the other hand, I still consider it disastrous enough that I feel a desire to become much more activist about this than about most other things.

But on the third hand, I want to see a reaction that reassures me at least a tiny bit, when compared with the unrest two summers ago, that liberal social activism has some rational understanding of practical effects of laws and priorities and abstract narratives versus concrete facts and so on. In a way, I want to see far more protesting, far more domination of the national discourse, far more emotion, far more passion, far more raw force as a social movement attached to this than was ever attached to George Floyd's murder and the vaguely-understood cloud of oppressive attitudes it represented. There are concrete laws at stake here which affect vast numbers of people in a highly tractable way that doesn't depend on vague principles or desires for revolution or nebulous "understood truths". There are highly measurable ways that large demographics in our society will suffer, a more firmly-founded fuel for our emotions than anger over several individual outrageously tragic incidents.

In that vein, I want to see a moral panic over female reproductive rights. I want to see awareness and tension over these issues seep into almost every facet of our society. I want to see every major company speak up on it. I want to see widespread treatment of the perpetuation of poverty as a result of lack of control over reproduction, and those who think it's worth it because of their convictions about the sanctity of souls or possibly more unsavory beliefs, as a scourge on our culture. I want to see dating profiles, in the midst of the usual dog and sarcasm enthusiasm, explode with exhortations of "if you don't like women having choices, swipe left".

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[harvest-oak]

Harms of the split attraction model:

TW: mention of s uic idal ideations.

Disclaimer, this is from my personal experience and has roots in material oppression, which is oppression that can be measured by how much imperialism, capitalism, and/or the patriarchy (AKA, systems of power) profit(s) from the marginalization of oppressed people.

I’ll open this post with a story about myself. When I was 16 years old, I came out to my parents as a lesbian. Immediately, I was shamed for my sexuality. I remember the pain of the moment when I was told “I wish you were never born.” A few months later, I was taken to therapy, where a very nice man was helping me work through my sexuality. At this point, I wanted to stay in the religion that was oppressing me, so my therapist told me about romantic and sexual orientations. He said that love could be so much more than within the confines of my sexuality and encouraged me to find romantic love for men. The religion that I was a part of was incredibly homophobic and transphobic, so I was expected to marry a man and express my gender in a traditional, feminine way. My therapist discussed how I could grow my relationships with women outside of my sexuality, as well as how to find attractive things in men. Things like their laugh, their smiles, and how they could take care of me. I started to feel an inkling of hope, that I didn’t have to lose my family, my friends, my religion, or my sexuality. I could have it all. So, I decided that I would find romantic interest in men.

When I went to college, I decided to start dating men seriously. I met a wonderful man who treated me so well. He was kind, decently attractive, and smart. I loved hanging out with him, since we lived in the same apartment complex. We went to church together and eventually started dating at the end of my freshman year. At the beginning, it was nice, but slowly, seeds of doubt and discouragement started to creep in. Our first kiss was, well, unremarkable. I was so anxious, I felt like I was going to throw up. I was expecting our nice, romantic connection to turn into love, but it didn’t. Still determined to succeed, I kept dating him. The entire time, guilt consumed me, I was living a lie. I was deceiving this poor guy into thinking that I liked him when I was struggling to enjoy holding hands with him. At one point, I had to literally lie to his face when he asked me my sexuality, I told him I was straight. I would cry myself to sleep, wondering when the pain would stop. That year, I took him home to meet my parents when I asked them, “when should I tell him? I don’t want to lie to him, it’s awful, but I need to get married!” They didn’t have an answer for me, “when the time is right.” It felt like I was completely lost. I tried to cling onto him, hoping that we’d be able to make it through, then he broke up with me. I was so lucky that he did. Even though I was heart broken because I was losing the one person who I thought I could get married to and bear it, I was hugely relieved that I wouldn’t have to lie anymore. I got over my 9 month long relationship in less than a day. I got some ice cream, cried, and I was basically all better.

The next year, I tried again and again, failing to find a man. I felt so frustrated, because I wanted to have a romantic relationship so badly, but I was failing every time! Mercifully, the COVID-19 pandemic started, so I was able to take a break from dating for a while. I was happily single for a little over a year, using the pandemic as an excuse to stop dating. It was great, but my sexuality kept gnawing at me. I felt confused. If I was trying my best to follow what God apparently wanted me to do, why was I so unhappy? It felt like my will to live, my energy and my happiness had left me. I was truly miserable. This is when I hit my lowest point. I spent my days in bed, barely surviving. I felt hopeless, like I didn’t have any reason at all to live. So I decided that I either needed to come out fully and leave the church, or I would k il l myself. I had no one I could turn to, my family had made it clear that being a lesbian was unacceptable, plus my friends were also in the same religion and I could never force them to choose between me or the church.

In January of 2021, I realized that I could choose to leave the church, my family and my friends. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I chose to give up everything I was given so I could be a truly happy, authentic, and energetic version of myself. I started dating secretly, with hidden kisses, closed doors, and going out in public as “friends”. The first time I kissed a girl, it was magical, I felt my cheeks burning, those elusive sparks that I had never felt went flying. My hands were in her hair as her arms wrapped around my waist and just for a moment, everything felt perfect. I didn’t feel any fear, nor pain. I only felt peace, joy, and contentment that I had never felt before. Though our public romance was almost forbidden by society, we felt intimacy and connection that was beautiful and whole. I remember driving together, my hand in hers speeding down the freeway, I felt so much elation! It was like I could finally be my whole self, unburdened by the weight of my family’s expectations.

Unfortunately, my family found out and the crushing guilt came back. I was shamed, called a whore and unfaithful. My entire family looked down on me with disdain, because I couldn’t bridle my attractions. However, I had found my wings of freedom and I would not let them go. I chose to leave the church and my family, and I was not going back on that decision.

skip to here if you don’t like reading:

Now, I remember the full story of that nice therapist who told me that I could love men romantically and not sexually. That small lie led to years of pain, humiliation, shame, and grief. That lie from my family, the church, and society has hurt not only me, but countless other people who have been pressured to perform heterosexuality. This lie hurt other members of my extended family, including a gay man who is dear to me. He has lived as a closeted gay man for almost 50 years because he can’t bear the thought of what would happen if he came out, since he married his wife and has children.

Though there are people who find meaning in divorcing their various types of attractions, the truth is that if you can’t find sexual and romantic attraction to a partner, there will be a part of you left unfulfilled, and your partner will inevitably become hurt, disinterested, or callous.

If you still insist on splitting your attractions, please be mindful of people like me. Be mindful of your partners. Be honest with yourself. Is splitting your attractions helping you to understand yourself better, or are you hiding from a more authentic, beautiful version of yourself? Does splitting your attractions allow you to feel love more deeply, or are your hiding your internalized homophobia behind comforting labels?

With much love,

Harvest Oak

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴

𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.

ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ

Oh, lawd! i have to post everything again! Send me all your energy. If you wanna be tagged, just inform me!

Also, I’ll be changing the story by a little, (or by a lot, idk) from my previous version.

You were feeling like John Travolta from the music video of Stayin’ Alive. Vibing to your own rhythm, living your own freedom. Attending college miles away from your hometown, you were the captain of your ship. Though you loved your parents more than anything, you were glad for the freedom granted upon you.

Your Freshmen year had just begun and you had already made a few friends. But what you didn’t want to accept just yet was your crush on one of them, Bucky. With his steely blue eyes and boyish charm, even a goddess might fall for him, and you were just a mortal. You were simply happy with being friends as you believed he would never like you and well, a little crush never hurt nobody.  

Completing your shift in a local bookstore, just outside the campus, you were walking back, lost in your own thoughts. What caught your attention was a group of howling high schoolers; from the look of it, they were barely a year to two younger than you. A group of tall and popular kids were bullying a skinny, helpless dude; ufff the usual cliché you thought to yourself. What you failed to notice though was his bleeding nose.  

You were a kind soul, always helping others, but you were no fool. All alone in an unknown town, you weren't going to confront the burly teens who were twice your own size. After giggling and cracking some stupid jokes on the poor dude trying to impress a girl, they left him and that’s when you noticed all the blood. You quickly crossed the road and walked towards him. He seemed smaller than he was as he was crouching down and trying to rub all the blood.

“Hey! Pinch your nose, don’t disturb it by rubbing.” you said while bending down. “Uhh, okay... thanks!” he looked at you with big doe eyes and you were utterly mesmerized by the blue oceans he had for his eyes. “Do you.. Do you need something else kid? Where do you live?” you asked giving him a candy and your water bottle. “I’m no kid!” he exclaimed and you flinched.  

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. You are helping me and here I am shouting at you.” You could clearly see remorse in his eyes and you wondered why would someone hurt him? “yeah, yeah.. It's Okay... now have this candy, the sugar will help you feel better.” you said with a soft smile. “thank you so much... and by the way I live two streets across. I mean I can go by myself, I'm a grown-up.. But...” he trailed off and you helped him get up.

“I’m Steve” he tried his best to smile and you followed by sharing your own name. And with that his chatter train began, he explained that he was just trying to help another girl getting bullied, when the bullies decided to change their target and chase Steve instead.

“you should wear your own mask first and then help others wear theirs.” you quipped and instantly bit your tongue. “Hmm, what?” he asked genuinely curious. “what I meant is that you did what is correct and very brave, but sometimes you gotta think for yourself too. But these are just my thoughts.” you shrugged. “I’ll remember that.” he said with a genuine expression. And after a million thank yous he finally went in his house. By the size of his house, he seemed rich and you wondered maybe this wasn't that cliché.  

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

The next day, you were walking back the same road, when you thought of Steve. He really was a kind and sweet person. This world needed more of people like him. And just then you saw him smiling brightly and waving at you, his nose bandaged. He had a huge box in his hand.

“Heyyyyy! Thank you for helping me yesterday. So I just... kinda got this as a ... a token of appreciation. I considered you might like donuts, so I got you this.” He said rubbing his nape. His cheeks had become so red he looked like a ripe tomato. “well, if you haven’t already given me diabetes by saying so many thank yous, after eating sooo many donuts I’ll surely get it.” At that you both chuckled and the atmosphere became lighter. As you picked a donut, he looked at you with such admiration you thought you would melt then and there.

Suddenly with a stern expression you asked “what if it’s drugged?” His eyes widened and he stuttered, “I... I would never do that ...” he looked down and you thought he might cry. “hey waittt.. don’t get so sad.. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I was just joking. I have this really bad habit of saying things when I shouldn’t. God I just ruined everything.” You just made a mental note not to joke around him, he seemed to be quite emotional. Though it was going to be difficult to tame your tongue. “don’t be. I just take things too literally.... anyway let’s have some donuts what say?” He said with such shine in his eyes you wondered whether he was sad just a moment before.

You both walked up to your university campus, munching on donuts. You both shared things about yourselves. You told him how you were passionate in becoming a doctor. He on the other hand talked about his struggles in studying. “will you help me? You are so smart and bright, will you help me study if I have a doubt or something?” he asked giving his big doe eyes.

You weren’t going to agree at first, you had just met him a day ago. But after looking in those calm blue pools of his eyes you agreed. Seeing the joy on his face, you wondered whether he just won an Oscar.

What you didn’t know was that Steve had already fallen in love with you, yes love, he was convinced that you were the one for him, his one true love. Not a moment had he been able to think of anything but you since he had met you. You were everything he needed and wanted and much more. He was simply desperate to spend more time with you.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

It had been around six months since you met Steve. Over the time you two had turned out to be best friends. While Steve had fallen even more in love with you, you had fallen hopelessly in love with bucky. While you always told bucky about Steve and vice versa, you never confessed to Steve about your love for Bucky, thus furthermore increasing his hopes. You desperately wished to make Steve and Bucky meet. They were two important people in your life and you more than anything wished that they got together well.  

Today was the day when you decided to arrange a small meet and greet at the park where you and Steve met every day. You and Bucky walked together towards the tree where you usually sat with Steve waiting there for you. You knew both would like each other, but somewhere deep within your gut you were getting a not-so good feeling about this.  

Steve’s eyes lit up seeing you but as they turned to Bucky, it felt as if all the energy had been sucked out of him. You didn’t like that one bit. “Bucky!?” Steve exclaimed in half disappointment and half fear. “You both... you both know each other?” you ask bewildered. You tried chuckling to lighten the mood but by the looks of it they were sworn enemies, but you prayed that you were wrong. “yeah, we know each other a little too well... Uh... We were good friends once.” Steve quietly admitted.

All this time Bucky had his jaw clenched, dragging in a deep breath he began. “I knew it! I knew it would be you, you little fucker! You want to have everything don’t you? Goddammit! I had this feeling it was you but I thought it was too much of a coincidence, but no. fate had to be so cruel.” you were shocked to see Bucky's sudden outburst. You wondered what conspired between the two, as either hadn’t ever mentioned the other.  

You were snapped out of your thoughts with Bucky calling your name. “let’s go. I don’t want to see him even for a minute more and neither do you.” Bucky started pulling your hand but you stopped him “Bucky no. I guess you have some misunderstanding; Steve is a good person. And you don’t get to tell me who to talk to and who to not.”

Suddenly Bucky turned back to Steve, anger written all over his face. “You didn’t tell her, huh, did you? Don’t worry I'll tell her. Steve is the son of Joseph Rogers and he is the freaking Don Corleone of this area. Do you know how my father died? Steve’s father had him killed just because unknowingly he provided shelter to his father’s fugitive. Steve just pretends to be a caring, emotional person but he is a snake behind that mask, so is everyone in his family.” towards the end Bucky was in tears and you were in utter shock. Now that you tried to remember, Steve never really did tell you much about his family. And the fact that Steve wasn’t denying any single allegation made you want to puke your guts out.

“You have taken too much from me. But not this. Not her. Not the woman I love more than anything.” Bucky said it out loud in the heat of the moment. You were too dumbstruck to even blink. Did Bucky just confess that he loved you?  

Bucky turned to you and held your arm with such softness you wondered if he was just now screaming his lungs out at Steve. “I know I can't tell you who to be with, and I promise I never will in the future, but trust me you want to be caught up with him or his family. And still, if you choose him, well then, I can’t be with you.”

You knew you had to make a choice then and there, there was no going back, and you chose Bucky.

[startanewdream]

Five Stages of Starflower

Summary: James is oblivious, Lily is mostly okay with her unrequited love and Sirius has a few plans about this situation. For @keepingupwithpotters,@sunshine-marauders, @cellularphoneexplosion and @zephyrcove who all gave me the most Jily prompt of all time (“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”) and for @magixbeans (“I refuse to stop irritating you until you give me attention.”). Thanks for helping me celebrate this day ❤

Warning only for a few f-words every now and then (Lily curses when she is upset).

Sirius knows it.

Sirius fucking Black knows it.

Lily had been careful ever since last semester when she started to realize the signs of those things. She’d tried to back away, to avoid more contact despite the fact they had exchanged letters through Summer (just normal conversation, talking about what was going on and their families and discussing their friends – it didn’t mean anything), and that they had seen each other (they just happened to be on Diagon Alley on the same day to shopping, which was smarter and safer—and also didn’t mean anything), and Lily had convinced herself that her feelings for him were entirely friendly and would remain so—if only they hadn’t become Heads together.

There was no way her feelings could remain amicable when she was required to stay together with James Potter for hours at a time, alone in the Prefects Room as they worked and planned, their hands brushing against each other sometimes; or when they would run away to share a hot chocolate at the kitchen, enjoying the fact that as Head Boy and Head Girl they could ignore a little more the curfew, and he’d make her laugh and would help her wipe off the chocolate out of the corner of her mouth.

Lily had fancied someone before, and she knew how to identify the signs, as pale as those previous signs seemed when it came to James. Still, she knew what meant the way she would shiver whenever he’d touched her, or how her heart would skip a beat when their eyes met without planning and he would grin deviously at her or how she would sit closer to him than she needed, just to catch a sniff more of that wonderful scent.

She was falling for James Potter and the worst part was that she’d totally missed the timing in which he fancied her back.

Because all those signs she saw in herself were unfortunately absent from him. James had apparently mastered the art of considering her as nothing more than his friend, because when he’d touched the corner of her mouth—and she had blinked to him, she really had, a blink that said we are alone now and you are touching my mouth can you just kiss me?—James had done nothing but smile nicely, friendly, drawing away.

And she absolutely knew he was treating her as just his friend when the very next week he’d asked her if she didn’t mind changing her Friday patrol rounds with Leanne Diggory. Fridays were the day they patrolled together until late in the night. Fridays were the days where they would go to the kitchen and share a drink and talk about life and it was their moment.

‘Sure,' she had said, acting as if she didn’t understand what his request meant for them. ‘Any particular reason?’

James had flushed then, his hand automatically flying to his hair like he did when he was nervous and after a moment he glanced at Leanne across the Prefects Room. Lily had followed the direction of his gaze; Leanne was smiling back at James and Lily understood even more.

‘Well,’ she said then, keeping her voice carefully light even as a crushing weight had taken residence in her chest. ‘It’s a pretty reason.'

She couldn’t fault James for not being interested in her anymore, but she couldn’t also just stop feeling that thing for him, not since there was no way for her to avoid him completely. So she resigned herself to having a platonic crush on James Potter, one that she administered very well until the day of the first Quidditch game of the season.

Lily had been so diligent that none of her friends had noticed her feelings for him—and she knew that because there was no way Mary or Dorcas would keep it silent if they suspected. She had been careful not to gasp when they were on the grounds and James had been dropped at the lake by Sirius, stepping out of the water and taking off his shirt to dry himself (but she had taken that memory to her heart and lost herself in dreams about him); she had not frowned when she saw James leaving his group at the last Hogsmeade trip to go talk with Leanne, flashing that dangerous grin of his to her (but she had punched her pillow in anger lately, wishing James had come to her).

And then there was the first Quidditch match and Gryffindor had won and in the post-game euphoria, Lily had made the tiny mistake of hugging James and keeping that guilty longing smile on her face when they had broken apart.

That’s when her gaze had met Sirius, and he had widened his eyes in surprise, taking in all that her smile meant—by the time Lily had rearranged her face into a normal expression, Sirius was smirking knowingly, that moron.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He knows. Lily knows he knows. Sirius knows Lily knows he knows.

It could be worse if it were any of other James’ friends, she reasons dismayingly. Remus would have come to talk to her and urge her to share her feelings with James; Peter would spill the word to James, unable to keep a secret from him.

But it doesn’t look like any of these other scenarios is really worse as she sees Sirius’ eyes shining with a predatory look, like a wolf that knows it got his prey.

She considers running away. But Lily is no coward, there is no place for her to go permanently and she believes in keeping her enemies closer, if Sirius could be considered as one, at any chance. That’s why she keeps her ground, pretending everything is nice and not at all bothered when she sees James is near the fireplace talking with Leanne Diggory.

It won’t fool Sirius, but Lily can keep her dignity at least.

And remaining alone at the drinks table allows for him to get closer to her, which is important for her to check how much damage she did today.

‘Enjoying the party, Evans?’

Lily nearly sighs. Nearly one year of friendship with the Marauders told her they only call her by the last name when they are in full teasing mode.

James calls her a lot by Evans, though, but it sounds nice and she rather likes it.

‘Same as always. Nice party.'

‘Oh, I thought you’d be feeling… too crowded.' Sirius throws a glance towards the fireplace and Lily doesn’t need to follow the direction of his gaze to know what he is talking about. ‘Maybe you wish you were at one of those Head meetings.'

Lily pretends to be amused. ‘Heads can enjoy parties too.'

‘One of the Heads is certainly enjoying the party if the party is happening back at the throat of Leanne Diggory—’

She can control her eyes enough to not look in their direction to confirm how literal Sirius is being right now, but she cannot stop the grimace on her face fast enough; it is a spasm of hurt and anger and jealousy, and it becomes obvious that Sirius saw all these emotions when his grin just increases.

Well, too late to still save her dignity.

‘Good for him. Now, if you excuse me—’

‘Oh, I don’t,’ he replies gladly. ‘Why, you seem a little green to me, Evans.'

‘It’s my eyes, maybe you didn’t notice their colour before.'

‘Well, I never particularly cared, but I remember a young bloke reciting that your eyes were pure emerald bestowing grace upon that poor bloke’s heart.'

‘Jade,’ she corrects before she can think better of it. ‘He compared them to jades.'

Sirius’ grin is criminal now. At least, it’s making her want to murder him.

‘My, Evans, for someone that threw a hex at him you seem to have memorized his words.'

‘He kneeled to recite that poem to me in the middle of the Common Room, what else could I do?’

‘Snogged him?’ Sirius suggests, arching one eyebrow when Lily shakes her head. ‘Just imagine, if you had snogged him back then, he might not be snogging someone else right now.'

It’s a fair assumption, but this time Lily doesn’t have to disguise any particular emotion. She doesn’t regret not going out with James before; they were far too different back then. He matured a lot since those days when he would ask her out when he would be so infatuated with her that it was annoying mostly…

Unfortunately, in the list of things he changed since growing up, his feelings for her were included.

That makes her frown.

‘He is free to do whatever he wants,’ she says, a safe mid-term.

‘Or whoever he wants.’

She closes her fists, wanting to punch something; most likely Sirius’ face, though she will settle for her pillow too.

‘Are you here for any reason or you just want to piss me, Black?’

‘Mentioning that James’ hands are all over Diggory’s bum would piss you?’

‘Ah, fuck off, Sirius,’ she says, not bothering anymore to pretend anything.

He laughs—a loud carefree sound that seems like a dog’s bark to warn that something is happening; in this case, that Lily Evans is making a fool of herself.

‘I will leave you alone—if you just admit it.’

‘Admit what?’

'Are we really playing this game, Evans? Let's not go through the five stages of Lily Evans' acceptance of her undying love for James Potter, shall we?'

Lily blinks, fighting not to splurge over her drink.

'I have no idea what you are talking about, Sirius.'

'Have it your way then. I just thought you should know, I was kidding. James' tongue is carefully kept inside his mouth.'

And he indicates the fireplace. Lily looks at it now and, sure enough, though James is still talking to Leanne, he is fairly apart from her, hands untouching, in a friendly stance.

When she looks back, Sirius is not there anymore, but wherever he is she knows he is smirking, that prat. Continue reading on AO3 :)

[binniesthighs]

❆on a winter’s day | reader x hyunjin |❆

Pairing: self insert, female reader x hwang hyunjin

Genre: the fluffiest smut

Tags: confident!reader, shy!hyunjin, extrovert!reader, introvert!hyunjin, virgin!hyunjin, dancer!reader, dancer!hyunjin minho and jisung side characters, minsung if you turn your head upside down, slow burn, that sweet sweet build up, first time, meet cute, college au, sexual tension, mentions of food, praising, oral (m&f recieving), marking, fingering (f recieving), protected sex, aftercare, hyunjin is the softest boi in this one

Word count: 4.3k

Requested: By a lovely anon! You can read the original ask/post right before this one! 

“and five, six, seven, eight!”

The cool of the hardwood flooring beneath your tired heels squeaked from the movement of twenty dancers throwing their bodies to the left. Each and every one of you were reflected in the mirror in front of you: bodies twisting like the curl of a ribbon and arms outstretched. You winced as your knee hit the ground and you hurled your body into a type of somersault. As soon as you were back on your feet, you bent your spine backwards reaching out as far behind you as you could. For a couple moments, the whole world was turned upside down.

It was then when you saw him. His silver hair was tied up, and his brow glistened with sweat. There was nothing else in his eyes other than pure focus.

It was breathtaking.

one, two, you counted in your head.

Next came the hardest part.    

Everyone leapt in sync, creating a resonating thud once you all landed.

Thank God that you landed it that time. To your right, your friend Minho scoffed slightly, likely teasing you for finally jumping at the same time as everyone else.

three, four

The group crashed down to the floor again, this time you had to use all your strength to roll, then pull yourself up without help from your hands. You had been practicing it for weeks.

You could feel Minho’s eyes boring into you while you attempted.  

You were able to do it, but it wasn’t nearly as fluid as him. How had you never noticed how amazingly his body flowed?

“and five, six!” Your instructor clapped. The music faded as you all sunk down to the floor again, trying to make it appear as if you were dissipating into it. “Very good job everyone!” She beamed and applauded you all who finally let your heaving breaths be heard. “Excellent improvement from you all!”

You couldn’t even stand up from the floor you were so exhausted. The aggressive florescent lights burned your eyes and you considered taking a nap right there.

“You did it!” A foot kicked you. Looming over you were your two friends Minho and Jisung shoving towels onto each other’s faces. “Were you counting like I told you to do?” Minho expectantly leaned in.

“yes,” You answered a little annoyed, not as much at him, but at yourself. You could have done even better.

“We told you that you could do it. It’s just the mental block man.” Jisung offered you a hand up.

Once you were vertical again, a little wave of dizziness hit you.

“Wanna go out to celebrate?”

Your usual friend group circled around you with their bags in hand.

“Finally got it this time, L/n?” They patted you on the back. Besides hip-hop being your specialty in a contemporary class, you still seemed to get along with everyone easily. On the first day of class when you literally announced that you didn’t want to be there, everyone warmed up to you pretty quickly. You didn’t want to lie and pretend that you were all about throwing your body around like that. Of course you thought contemporary was beautiful, just not your thing. Graduation requirements said otherwise.

“Do you need me to carry you outta here?” Jisung joked at your dazed expression. Truthfully, your head was still spinning a little.

“Only very certain people get to carry me Han Jisung, and unfortunately you are not one of them.” You quipped back, and a few of your friends snarked chuckles at him.

He put his hands up in defeat. “I was just offering.”

Across the room, your eyes found him again. He had put his bag a bit of ways away from everyone else’s. He guzzled down his water, bobbing his sharp Adam’s apple. He then tore his hair tie out and ruffled his hair around which was damp at the roots. Everything that he did was so effortless.

“Hey,” you nudged Minho, “You know who he is?”

“Him? That’s Hwang Hyunjin. I dunno much about him, he’s pretty quiet, I haven’t heard much about him within the school either. Amazing dancer though. Have you seen him?”

“Yeah...”

Hyunjin pulled a black pullover past his head.

“You coming with us?” Minho snapped you back.

“No-uh, I think that I’m gonna stay a little while.”

“Suit yourself, I know that it’s gonna be delicious.” He teased and turned to throw his arm around Jisung while the group walked out.

The silvery-haired boy zipped up his bag as if he was near leaving. Your throat became unexplainably tight. Your legs started moving towards him before you could tell them to.

“You popped up behind him. “Hyunjin, right?”

He whipped around startled, with his gorgeous brown eyes widening. “...yes?”

“I wanted to tell you that I saw you dancing today and you’re really good. It looks like its so easy for you. I wish that I could be like that.”

“Oh...thank you.” He gave you a kind smile.

shit, he was so cute.

“Soooo, what’s your secret?” You attempted to keep him there for just a moment longer.

“My secret?” His eyes became puzzled.

“Yeah, like, to how you’ve gotten so good?”

“I just...practice.”

“Huh...”

The door to the practice room clicked one last time and the two of you were alone.

“I noticed that all of your moves flow really nicely to the next, you’re not stiff at all, it’s like your body never stops evolving with the motions.”

“thank you...” Hyunjin hushed shyly and twiddled with his hair.

“Maybe you could teach me? Teach me how to make my technique better? I’m just so robotic sometimes.”

“...sure.” He hesitantly said with a growing tiny grin. “Like right now?”

“Oh! I mean it doesn’t have to be right now right now, just like when you have some time I was thinking.”

“I have a little time right now.” He began taking off his coat which he had just put on.

“Oh really?” You felt your cheeks get a little warm. You certainly weren’t expecting him to say yes so quickly.

“Do-do you have time?” He worriedly asked.

“--Yeah!”

“Okay...let’s get started then.”

✦✧✦✧

The music from Hyunjin’s phone echoed over the speakers and you attempted the twirls again. You were able to execute the timing, but each one felt more inelastic than the last. God, your whole body was aching to stop, but it couldn’t get enough of the feeling of him watching you and observing your every movement.

“What should I change about it this time?” You struggled to take in breaths.

Hyunjin looked you up and down, with that same focus from before. With someone as picturesque as him, he looked a little stern when he examined you, which scared you a little, but excited you at the same time.

“You need to take the strain out of your hips, they’re geting in the way you need to let you whole body fall into it. Focus on your legs. Like this:”

He spun in front of you with his leg pointed out. With the twist of his body his silver hair swept along with him.

“You know what I mean?” He gently asked.

“--yes, I think so.”

“Your hips are your anchor, but don’t let them stop you.” Hyunjin stepped up closer to you, hesitantly going to grab your waist with his hands. It was then when you realized how big and powerful they were. His sudden gesture made your heart beat even faster than it already was.

“Pivot like...this.” He turned you a little to the left.

“Oh.”

He lead your hips into the pivot a couple more times to show you. His hands were so warm.

He quickly removed his hands, embarrassed, like he had been doing something he should not have been. He walked away from you and you took notice of his shoulder blades curving under the thin fabric of his sleeveless shirt.

“Do you wanna stop now? I think I’ve done as much as I can for today.”

He nodded and removed his phone from the sound system.

✦✧✦✧

Outside of the arts building, snow had picked back up again after flurrying the whole night long. Everything around had been covered in a beautiful blanket of white.

“Well, I’m headed off this way.” You head nodded to your bus station a couple blocks down. “Thank you for helping me by the way.”

“For sure! I...liked helping you out.”

“Really?”

Hyunjin immediately made a startled little face upon realizing what he had said and you laughed a little at him.

He pulled his chunky scarf up higher to his chin. “Actually...I um, live down that way too.”

“Do you take the 12 bus too?”

He nodded. Little snowflakes had begun to get caught in his hair like a little halo.

“Well then let’s get going! We don’t wanna miss the last bus!”

✦✧✦✧

It was rush hour, so naturally the two of you had to stand on the bus of packed people. The air inside was chilly and it smelled of old dusty coats that had just recently been taken out for the fist snow. You thought it was a little funny how every five seconds or so someone would sniffle in there.

“I’ve seen you in class too.” Hyunjin finally said something after a while of you two being pushed pretty close next to eachother. “Dancing and other stuff, everyone really seems to like you, you’re really good at making people laugh.”

“Oh. Thanks.” You didn’t quite know how to respond to him. “I don’t really have a problem putting myself out there much, I’ve always really believed in just being me, you know? And not letting others determine who I am around them. That or maybe I just like the sound of my own voice.”

He giggled a little then pulled the string nearby the window.

stop requested.  The robot bus voice said.

“You’re not stalking me or anything are you?” You rose an eyebrow at him, which scared him more that you had expected.

“No..? What do you mean?”

“This is my stop too.”

Your boots crunched into the snow of the side walk and you thanked the bus driver. Hyunjin got off after you with his hands in his pockets. The two of you stood there in the snow for a moment, something weirdly unsaid lingering between the two of you. Something felt unfinished but you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. He genuinely was so sweet, you sneakily wanted to be around him for just a little longer.

Hyunjin stammered, but confidently got out, “Do you want to get something to eat? Right now?”

It was if he had read your mind. You were glad that he had asked, and a little surprised too. He waited attentively for you to answer, still looking a little nervous; even looking like that he was terribly adorable.

“I’d love to.” You smiled back at him causing him to sigh in relief.

“Is there anywhere that you like?” He led the both of you on.

You pondered for a moment, then remembered. You cringed out the words, “Actually...I really shouldn’t be spending money right now; I need to get a lot better at saving...”

You almost slapped yourself in the face after saying such a thing and seeing how crestfallen he had become. It was true, but technically he didn’t need to know that.

“Or! I mean, we could go to my place and I could I dunno, whip something up? I should have something...”

“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to be eating away your food.”

“No really! It’s fine, come on, I’m just down this block.”

✦✧✦✧

It was only seconds before you opened the door to your apartment that you remembered how embarrassingly messy it was. You and your two roommates were the best of friends, but horribly matched when it came to being cleanly. The three of you just chalked it up to you all being “creative minds.” You all went to arts school after all.

“Just...don’t look--sorry, it’s really messy in there, I wasn’t really expecting to bring anyone over.”

“I don’t care.” Hyunjin politely said and watched you unlock the door.

“We just call it creative madness.”

When you walked in even you tried hard to not look at the mess and got straight to work rummaging around your cabinets.

“Does spaghetti with sauce sound good?”

He nodded and neatly arranged his coat, shoes and bag at the door.

He wandered over to the large windows of your living area. “You have a really nice view.”

“Ah thanks,” You clicked on the stove. “Makes the price of the rent worth it,” you lowered your voice “fuckin’ swindlers.”

Your eyes wandered to the island in your kitchen full of all kinds of crap: baking supplies, art supplies, old mail, textbooks, mismatched pairs of gloves.

“It would probably be best if we ate in my room,” You let up. “You can barely sit here.”

Hyunjin nodded and turned to keep watching the snow peacefully. While you cooked, he didn’t say much but you couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, nearly burning yourself on the saucepan. He changed the room by just merely exisiting in it. You truly couldn’t imagine how you had never noticed him before.

✦✧✦✧

“Thank you for cooking for me, that was really good.”

You waved his compliment off with the swipe of your hand. “It’s really nothing, you should see my roommate, she’s a culinary science major. Wait! Let me go get something real quick.”

You smiled at your little surprise and shuffled back to the kitchen, putting the two little raspberry and chocolate cupcakes on plates with equally little forks.

“Ta-da! These are to die for. I wish I could take the credit; these are just one of the benefits of having a roommate that’s constantly experimenting.”

Hyunjin took in a careful bite and his eyes widened into moons.

“I know right!? She’s a genius.”

Silence filled the air between you as you ate more. You couldn’t help but feel so completely and utterly cozy in the moment. The sun had nearly set and you had set your heater up in your room along with some Christmas music to softly play in the background. The only regret that you had was the candle you had lit which was just a little too sweet. You started to wonder after you two had finished, what would happen next? Would he leave? Greedily, a feeling seeped into you like before, you still didn’t want him to leave.

“That was amazing.” He placed his plate down.

“You know what?” Your brash confidence pushing through once more. “Your hair, the silver, it’s just so pretty. I can’t stop looking at it.”

He instantly became flustered. “Oh...thank you, I’ve been thinking about dying it like this for a really long time now and I finally did it. It sounds kinda dumb, but I didn’t wanna do anything that would draw attention to myself.”

“...can I touch it?”

Hyunjin looked a little shocked, but eagerly nodded.

You started by thumbing through some of the longer strands towards his shoulders: it was just as soft as you imagined. You then started from the top running your hand all the way down, admiring the way that it looked like it shimmered a little. You had gotten so caught up in him that you didn’t notice that he had closed his eyes.

“pretty.” You cooed.

“Y/n?” He suddenly asked.

“Hmm?”

“Is it weird to say that I feel like really comfortable around you? Is that weird?”

“No, not at all.” You continued running your hands through the silver strands, somehow you had leaned in a lot closer to him than you had been before.

He looked at you with his doe-like brown eyes. You could have sworn that they were glistening. Your eyes fell a little lower to his lips, they looked wonderfully kissable and plump. From that moment your brain furiously wondered what they tasted like. His eyes fell a little too.

He leaned in first, catching you completely off guard. He kissed you so carefully and gently, his mouth parted just slightly; it was heavenly. You could still taste the chocolate and the raspberry on his lips. He sighed a little into your mouth like he was relaxing himself. In many ways, the way in which he kissed you made you feel like he cared for nothing else in the world, just you. Your cupped his face in your hands, tracing your thumbs against his jawline.

That was it. You were absolutely crazy for him.

You broke for a moment and he turned into a huge, rosy, smiling mess. The two of you giddily giggled at how happy you were over what had just happened. You shuffled your own plate off the bed to silently invite him to lay down which he did obediently. Now he seemed less hesitant, but more excited.

You swung your legs around both sides of him and kissed him more on his smiling lips. At this point, you had convinced yourself that nothing in this world was sweet as him. His hands found their way to your back, where he ran his fingers down, making you shiver delightfully at the touch. His hands finally found your waist which he grabbed onto firmly. He pulled you down into him so your bodies were flush and you could feel all of his warmth. Once you were this close, he started kissing you back more wantonly, gasping a little in between.

“You’re so beautiful Hyunjinnie.” You snuck in between kisses. “I can’t get enough of you.”

He let an airy laugh fall into your lips then brought one of his hands to tangle in you hair. All at once, your hands yearned to explore the soft of his skin everywhere. Outside your window the snow still silently fell and the golden sunset faded into the skyline’s horizon.

You knew how excited you had become, where together your hips grinded together. Your head spun thinking about having someone as beautiful as him give your body attention.

Hyunjin broke, holding your eyes seriously. “I-I want to make you feel good. Can I do that?”

“Of course, I would love that.” You melted.

“--But...I think you’ll have to tell me how...I haven’t done this before, sorry..”

The fact that he had shared this with you made him even more adorable.

“Don’t apologize, I can show you everything.” You whispered into his ear with a prideful grin. “But first, can I first help you?”

He gulped, “Yes.”

“I want to show you that you’re worth the attention, you’re worth all of it.”

You helped him pull off his sweater, and then his sleeveless shirt revealing his toned and pale chest, just waiting for your lips. You didn’t want to move too fast however, or risk scaring him.

“Just relax okay?”

You planted kisses everywhere you could: on his collarbones, his stomach and on his ribs, right over his heart. Even from the simplest of touches from you he seemed to unravel.

“You’re breathtaking.” You said onto his skin.

You couldn’t stop yourself from sucking a little harder than you planned, drawing little purple marks against his milky-white skin. He looked like pure art.

“Can I go down a little further?”

“Mmhmm.” He got out, with eyes closed shut trying to control himself.

You slipped his joggers down, revealing his quivering member, which was enticingly long even hidden by his briefs. He had already stained them a little with pre cum.

“oh my god.” you whispered, enamored. You couldn’t wait a single second further.

He timidly watched as you completely striped him, then tore off our own shirt and pants to make it a little more even.

“Tell me stop if you want me to, okay?”

He pleaded with desperate eyes, “Don’t stop.”

First you teased him just a little by running your tongue flat up and down and around his length, wetting your tongue with one hand and slowly pumping. You moved on to then twist around the head which had grown painfully hard. His breaths wavered and he let out little moans in desperation. You took him in at last, bobbing your head steadily.

“ mmm, that feels so good.” Hyunjin moaned out breathlessly.

You kept on, but not for too much longer, you didn’t want him finishing quite yet. He looked a little dejected when you stopped, but you swooped up to kiss him more. You took up his left hand and kissed him all the way up to his wrist and into his palm. His fingertips brushed over your lips, as gentle as one would with a flower petal.

“You want to touch me now?”

“--Yes.”

You unclipped your bra for him and laid back. For this he didn’t need any instruction. He immediately took your breast in his hand, squeezing and and ghosting his fingertips over your nipples; you reveled under his touch. He lowered to suck lightly on the bud, pulling at it lightly with his lips. His teeth grazed you slightly but you didn’t care, you fucking loved it.

“That feels amazing.” You whispered as you watched him. He was sure to give both of your nipples attention.

“I want you.” You said with hot breath. “I want your tongue.”  

He looked a little bewildered, but determined after what you had said. He slid down your body, giving you kisses the whole way down like you had done to him.

He nibbled a bit on your thighs. “Tell me how you like it.”

By the second his confidence grew more and more and it was addicting.

You started by rubbing yourself a little so he knew where to start. “In circles, you can go fast or slow, I like both, and you can suck on it too if you’d like.

He lowered, and you swung one of you legs over his shoulder which he palmed into. He started painfully slow, kitten licking carefully; he didn’t know it, but he was teasing the hell out of you. Nevertheless, you whole body began to shake a little with each lick.

“Flatten your tongue out...like that, you can go a little faster, yes...just like that.”

He had closed his eyes and settled into a rhythm, and you dug your heels into the bed. It was astonishing how quickly he got the hang of it. You whimpered out while he continued.

“fuck, Hyunjin--”

He sped up a little, your first orgasm was close by.

“Your fingers, like this.” You held up your pointer and middle together to show him. “Fuck me like that.

He did as he was told, sliding them in with ease over how wet you had become. His fingers were long and slender; addictive. He pumped in and out while your pussy made ungodly sounds. You felt so close you were lightheaded.

“Curl your fingers up, like this.” You showed him again. He continued going fast, taking a hint from your quickened breaths.

You came with white heat, clawing at the comforter on the bed. You only gave yourself a few more moments before pulling him up towards you. “I want you inside me.”

You scrambled with the drawer of your nightstand to rip a condom off from the strand that you kept, tearing it open for him. He was a little flustered, but put it on quickly; he was dripping even more for you. Your lips connected as you laid down, and he aligned himself on top of you. It was then when you saw how pink his chest had flushed. You opened your folds for him, and he started to guide himself in. He filled you up perfectly, and he groaned out once the two of you were connected.

“it’s so tight.” He shivered.

Your fingers latched on to the skin of his hips as you guided him lightly up and down. He buried his face into your shoulder as little euphoric moans slipped past his lips. After a moment, he was able to find his pace, grazing you deep inside. You let him take control as he thrust into you, leaving your arms to wrap around his broad back. You pulled his face over to kiss him, the both of you loosing yourself in the other.

“You make me feel, so, so good, baby,” You hushed into his ear.

He panted, “I-I’m gonna cum soon.”

It took all your strength to flip him off of you, and to land in his lap. He groaned with his hands getting lost journeying all around your body--anywhere he could touch. You took over, riding him and rolling your hips fast with both of your palms flat on his chest riddled with hickies. Like this, you thought that he looked practically angelic. Both of you chased your orgasms together, erupting at nearly the same time, and you ravished in him throbbing inside.

You laughed a little together in sheer bliss and he flinched a little when you slid off of him.

“Did that all feel good for you? Are you okay?” You pecked his nose.

“Yes. It felt like nothing else.”

You stood up, adjusting your frazzled hair and putting on a fresh set of comfy clothes. “Stay right there okay?”

You went to grab him a towel and clean himself off with, handing him his clothes one by one as he dressed. You brought the plates back to the kitchen coming back with a large glass of ice cool water, then offered it to him. He guzzled it letting a little drop fall down his neck.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Do you wanna...stay a little longer?”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

You blew the candle out and dimmed the lights, adjusting a blanket for the two of you to crawl under. Hyunijn followed you under, sweeping you deep into his arms.

Just a little bit longer. You thought to yourself. Stay with me.

[pi-creates]

I hope people don’t mind – but I have a theory… one that’s been mulling around in my head for ages but didn’t really know if people would be interested in hearing it. I shared my thoughts with a few people and they seemed supportive of me sharing my theory further, so here we go.

Basically, I feel like something that the fandom deems as crucial to Violet’s character might actually be a misclassification. The short version of this post is that I theorise that Violet doesn’t have excessive abandonment issues (at least not to a significantly greater extent than any of the other characters), and what she is actually displaying is signs of survivor’s guilt.

From a behavioural view point, there’s a lot of overlap between both issues – withdrawing from others, fixating on other’s and their actions, being irrational at times as a defence mechanism, and applying unrealistic expectation on oneself and others. But the difference is the reasons behind those behaviours.

Someone with abandonment issues assumes that everyone will inevitably leave them. It leaves them insecure and assuming that they are somehow at fault for other’s leaving them. The thing is, this form of dependence on others tends to lead people to constantly be seeking approval, and they reel their neck in when they feel like someone is not going to agree with them. Basically, they become people pleasers who need constant reassurance that you aren’t planning on leaving them – but at the same time they keep things shallow, because they don’t feel like they can expose anything that the other person might leave them for. Then if things are on the rocks, they sabotage, if you push someone away before they reject you, then it doesn’t hurt as bad if they decide to leave. It’s a self-destructive cycle that centres around the person being anxious and not having trust in others to accept them as they are.

And while parts of that fits Violet, other parts don’t. I don’t feel like Violet comes across as insecure in what she offers to others or being afraid to have a contrary opinion. In fact, she seems quite confident in her skills and choices. There isn’t any hesitance to bring up tough questions or to  speak her mind when she doesn’t like something. She takes on a leadership role and makes decisions that she knows the bulk of the group don’t agree with at that point. It doesn’t come across as someone who is afraid that those people she’s disagreeing with will leave her. Basically, I don’t feel like she acts out of fear that people will leave her – she does express not liking that people leave and believes that certain levels of loss are inevitable, but it feels like cynicism rather than fear.

A big example of this is her asking Clementine in the first card game “Out of all of us here, which one is going to die first?”… to me, that doesn’t read as someone afraid of loss, it reads as someone who views loss casually and also doesn’t feel compelled to sugar-coat the morbidity of such thoughts to a newcomer or old friends.

But if you look at something like survivor’s guilt – it has some similar behavioural patterns, but those behaviours stem more from guilt than fear. They survived a situation when others did not, and I don’t think there’s any denying that everyone who’s still alive in an apocalypse situation has outlived a friend/family member, and potentially also been there when they died. And those thoughts of “Why did I survive when they didn’t?”, “Could that have been different?”, and “Was it my fault?” eats away at them. They start picking apart every detail of an event and questioning if they were responsible, or if someone could have done something to prevent it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s logical or not, they fixate on the idea that they could somehow have changed the events if only they said/did something different, they should have known the outcome and stopped it. It’s irrational, it’s placing the blame on oneself or others for situations that they had no means to avoid or predict. And all of that guilt and stress makes the people irritable, withdrawn, and regretful. They get so stuck in that moment of loss that they don’t move forward. They lose interests they used to have, they feel disconnected, they don’t trust people or the world to be safe or fair, they pull away from others...

And I think this sounds like Violet. It makes more sense with how she talks about her grandmother and the twins – we hear how she processes these events. She tells us what she was doing when someone died (or she believed they died) and how she should have been doing something else – for her grandmother she should have called for help, for the twins she should have been there and not in the greenhouse. And since we hear more about the twins, she goes further and talks about how she also questions the actions made by others – she feels like she could have changed the outcome if she was there instead of Brody or Marlon. When in reality, she couldn’t have known, she can’t change what happened, and it wasn’t her fault that those people died (or were taken).

I feel Violet did lose herself to a degree in those fixations, that’s why she withdraws and seems apathetic about things until after we learn that Minnie is still alive. Some of that guilt is somewhat absolved when it becomes clear that Minnie isn’t dead, it opens up the possibility of fixing her perceived ‘wrongs’ of the past (e.g., out surviving her). She talks about not liking arts and crafts – but she makes you a pin. She suddenly wants to dance with you when we had no indication this was an interest of hers before. She sings a song that she clearly used to hold to high regard when Minnie sang it – though we never hear her sing or hear her talk about her own voice. She’s a different person once the guilty moment is re-framed as something she can fix. Those interests she lost before are suddenly back, or maybe she’s just more open to reevaluate things and move forward with new interests.

And I think this also explains part of Violet’s ire in the captured route – it’s not just that she feels like you chose someone over her, it’s a literal replay of the thing she felt guilty about for years. She’s in Minnie’s shoes, but this time the people at the school know she was taken and not killed at the school – they could have stopped it in the way she wished she could have done with the twins. Then Clem shows up, and she isn’t exhibiting the same crushing guilt that Violet carried for so long when this happened to her friends – and that has to hurt.

Not only does the situation suck, but she’s being confronted with someone who isn’t coping with the “loss” of an important friend in the same way she did. I feel like it would only be logical for Violet to wonder why, and she is also clearly not in a good frame of mind and will come up with some of the worst possible answers.

Is she not as important to the others as Minnie was to her? Is she not worth the same emotional devastation? Was she wrong to feel the way she felt, or is Clem wrong for not feeling that way now?

The situation may be different, but after dealing with the traumatic experience of being captured, seeing Minnie again, and being manipulated into behaving – I don’t think Violet can think clearly enough to realise the differences of the situation. Clem isn’t dealing with the same level of guilt because her method of coping with the tragedy is immediate action… an option that Violet never had. It has nothing to do with Violet not being worth the same devastation as the twins, though I bet it still feels that way to her. So not only does the perceived betrayal sting worse, she also is being told she has the option of protecting Minnie by going along with the Delta – it just feeds into her preexisting guilt that she didn’t save her before, so of course she’s going to act in a way that she believes will make up for it.

And yeah… that’s my theory. Whether you agree or not, I’d be interested in hearing other’s thoughts on this – especially when I’m very aware that the abandonment narrative is seen as near universal amongst the fans. It just happens to not have been my initial stance, and I dunno, maybe an alternate point of view will be interesting to you guys.