#not even interesting just a flat city that goes on and on

[scorpius-rising]

I think the most fascinating thing about the US being a shit place to live is the fact that from all the indicators it shouldn't be. Like yes, there are far worse places to live for many people. But the US is the world's largest economy. Its hegemonic media and celebrities dominate the global culture. Its business exploits the labour and resources of billions of people and its military is the most dominant on the planet. By all rights it should be a pretty good place to live and instead it's just...bad.

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpx Dc AU: Ectoplasm is required for Ghosts to be visible to the human eye- And Danny creates his own ectoplasm.

Danny is visiting Jazz in Gotham and its weird how friendly everyone is. Like, the city gets a really bad rapport, everywhere he goes there is someone trying to strike up a conversation or answer his questions about getting around to the tourist spots. A few people even pointed out restaurants and ways to find off the beaten path gems! Jazz seems to role her eyes at him, but when he brings up her 'roommate' being kind of cute she flat out laughs.

Danny then comes to understand the Jazz doesn't have a roommate and that Ghosts in Gotham don't move far from their haunts- He's just been inadvertently turning these undead folks visible by accident of generating abnormal amounts of ectoplasm.

Which, is comforting in a way, he's never walking this dangerous city alone and really, most of the ghosts have been really friendly! They disappear once he's a few blocks away from them anyway.

---

Tim Drake is having a horrible day.

He'd been given intel that one of Black Mask's guys was going to snitch but that he'd died before given the opportunity to reach out to the GCPD. He tracks down the guy's last know whereabouts and yikes. Its next to the Theater. Tim was often grateful for his childhood obsessions, this time it backfired.

Tim and Bruce get into an argument about trust and respect and, worst of all, mental health. And even though Tim was vehemently against Batman accompanying Red Robin to the alleyway - that's exactly what happens.

They arrive and Bruce is closing up faster than a clam in the contaminated Gotham Bay- Clearly being in the Alley bothers him. No fucking shit. RR gets started on collecting evidence, there are a few extra blood splatters and a single left shoe... When a kid walks into the Alley.

"Uh, sorry to intrude-" The kid looks scared shitless, and runs away. And then, all of a sudden, Batman and Robin aren't alone in the Alley.

Tim can hardly believe his eyes as the dead man appears and quickly blabs Black Mask's bank passwords and what the plan had been- and While he's over joyed to have that closure, he turns around to Batman weeping in the arms of his parents.

The ghosts fade, and the emotions are certainly charged as this was never something Bruce or Tim would have ever dreamed of happening. Ghosts in Gotham. Talking, floating, granting closure.

"RR, Bats, come in." Oracle calls into their ears.

"Reporting in, but, uh, we need a minute."

"A minute? We have a case on 4th and-"

"O, we just saw the ghosts of the Waynes. It's going to be a minute."

"...Lots of Ghost reports lately then. Any chance you saw a kid looking like he could be adopted?"

"Yeah, actually, black hair and blue eyes. He was super polite before he ran away."

"We have work to do. Oracle, lets prioritize finding our person of interest and divert Nightwing and Robin to the case on 4th." Batman cut between them on the comms and he sounded... calmer than either of them anticipated.

---

Jazz is no longer laughing when Batman appears at her door explaining that he's looking for Danny (Who already flew away from town to get a good night's sleep before class on Monday). Turns out Danny reunited the man with his dead parents just briefly- and then the second guy appears and mentions how Danny had also given a guy who'd been murdered by a Mob enough time to explain the ongoing threats the city faced.

Jazz just rolls her eyes and says that it's not like the ghosts are going anywhere anytime soon and Danny will visit in another month. When pressed, she just explains that her brother is a weirdo. No of course he doesn't have powers. Gaslight and Girlbosses her way out.

And Jazz thinks that the game is up for at least another month, obviously when Danny visits more shit will stir up, but then this new guy appears.

Unlike the other Bats who are keen on watching her from a distance, the Red Hood knocks on her door. Are her eyebrows all the way into her hairline when Red Hood asks her to send his thanks along to Danny because somehow this whole situation led to his Dad expressing remorse for his actions and apologizing? Yes, yes they are.

But Jazz can smell Dissertation Data off of these vigilantes- Who is she to send them away? Jazz welcomes Red Hood into her place for a cup of tea and a small chat.

The story then devolves into Jazz getting shit done, Danny being cute by proximity and also bringing ghosts to the party, and the Bats having trauma resolve between them.

[gamergirl-niffler]

Alright, listen up! I'm throwing it out there — hit me with some fluffy Christmas prep scenarios featuring Bakugo, Kirishima, Shinso and Eri (together), Midoriya, Present Mic, and Aizawa. Politely asking, of course 🎄

YAY! Time for some Christmas Spirit!

Hope you will enjoy it!

Christmas preparation with MHA men

Bakugo

- He isn't much of a "Christmas enjoyer"

- He has better things to take care of! Like his hero work, training, getting better. 

- But seeing how much you like christmas... He is willing to go with it all for your sake.

- Katsuki makes sure to get you THE BEST christmas tree there is. He is going to fight for it if he has to!

- Bakugo helps you with decorating the flat and he complains about it a lot.

- He complains about the amount of stuff you put around the flat and about all the stuff you hang all around BUT he still helps you by lifting you up when some place you try to decorate is too high for you.

- What Katsuki actually loves is helping you with cooking, altho his help is scolding you during this. We all know he is a perfectionist when it comes to cooking, so you are ready for some hard times. It's worth it in the end. 

- If you ask really nicely, he reluctantly puts on a christmas sweater. Just don't tease him about it, if you cross the line the sweater will be ripped into shreds.

- Same goes for Christmas music. One year he blew up the radio because it was playing too much of it! 

- Katsuki tells you that he doesn't want any gift from you, leaving you puzzled about what to get him since he never shows the need to have something. He himself already has few gifts for you. All of them were bought even months ago.

- Christmas with Bakugo are indeed difficult sometimes but in the end he is trying to make it nice for you because he knows it makes you happy. 

Your happiness is his happiness.

Kirishima

- He. Loves. Winter!

- The moment the first snow falls Eijiro is glued to the window watching the pretty snowflakes fall upon the city.

- As soon as you are back home, you're pulled out outside to enjoy the fresh snow with your excited boyfriend.

- Winter means Christmas and it means lots of fun! 

- Buying the tree, ornaments and decorations is just so magical for him, all because the shiny, glittery atmosphere it creates.

- The two of you decorate the whole apartament, from floor to ceiling. Of course to make stuff easier for you, he is letting you sit on his shoulder to help you reach high places.

- Cooking is fun but baking is even more fun! Both of you make delicious food and cute gingerbread cookies to enjoy.

- Matching Christmas sweater is a MUST.  Maybe they aren't too pretty but they scream Christmas and that's the most important.

- For Kirishima, the best evening is just the two of you, snuggling up under the warm blanket with hot chocolate and some christmas movie on, bathed in this magical atmosphere and warmth.

- He showers you with many gifts! Even if you asked just for one thing. According to him it's what you deserved.

- Gift from you is treated like the biggest treasure. No matter what you gave him, he doesn't care. It's a gift from you and that's what counts.

Shinso and Eri

- They are an interesting mix. Shinso doesn't care that much but still enjoys Christmas while Eri is EXCITED about them. 

- You can't blame her, she has been celebrating Christmas for just a few years.

- Before she was rescued she never celebrated Christmas.

- Shinso is like a big brother to her, so he is doing his best to make it as great as only possible and you are there to help.

- Your shared apartment is decorated with lots of lights and many cute and pretty Christmas decorations which you also love.

- The tree you buy is big, and of course Eri helps decorate it. Whole fun is finished by Eri being lifted up by Shinso so she can put a star on top of it.

- Baking gingerbread cookies, decorating them is fun. You create a cookie that looks just like Shinso while he decorates his own cookie to look like a cat.

- Later, you help Eri with building the gingerbread house.

- After that it's time to go outside and it's a blast!  Shinso actually looks happy while building the snowman with Eri or while throwing you into a pile of snow.

- As fun as it is, you two have no chance against Eri in a snowball fight. 

- According to Shinso, your snow angel is the prettiest but not prettier than you.

- Back at home it's all about hot chocolate and Christmas songs. You and Eri can sing your hearts out but Shinso won't join it but he will agree to dance with Eri.

- It turns out your boyfriend is a decent dancer and you are recording this as a souvenir.

- When Eri is asleep after all the excitement and fun the two of you spend some alone time just talking and enjoying each others presence.

- Getting gifts for Eri is easy, she clearly voices what she would love to receive, Shinso on the hand is a little tricky.

- He may not seem like it but he is very perceptive and already has gifts prepared for his favorite girls.

Midoriya

- He is excited but he isn't over the top.

- The two of you celebrate in a calm way. Just getting your shared apartment all nice, cozy and full of christmas spirit.

- Izuku loves to visit family during this time, and you visit his mom together, and then visit your family, no matter how big it is.

- Back at home, the two of you bake Christmas cookies and even build a gingerbread house together. It's too pretty to eat.

- Your Christmas tree is full of All Mighta ornaments because of course it is. Izuku collected a lot of them over the years and he bought new ones this year as well.

- Your favorite is the little All Might in Santa's hat.

- Not to mention he owns a few All Might Christmas sweaters. Some are already too small for him so you get the privilege to wear them so you both match! 

- Radio is playing the whole time, blasting the Christmas music. You both even sing together if you know the lyrics.

- Buying him a gift isn't easy since you want to give him something special. He on the other hand already planned what to get you.

- Christmas with Izuku is simply wholesome, full of fun and love.

Hizashi Yamada

- This man loves to celebrate, so Christmas is a great time of the year. (Not to mention that pretty soon after Christmas there is New Year!)

- Christmas music is playing in your flat from the very first day of december and there is lots of singing.

- Your flat is decorated in a pretty flashy way; a lot of glitter and colorful, flashy lights.

- Hizashi loves to randomly grab you and pull you into a dance right in the middle of your living room to whatever song is now playing.

- Celebrating together is fun but what's even more fun? Celebrating with friends.

- You two invite Shota and Nemuri to have a drink and a good chat about something different than just kids, school and work. 

- Of course he is not only all about partying and being loud all the time. Hizashi loves taking you for a walk so the two can take a look around the city and enjoy all the lights and decorations. 

- Not to mention he loves to snuggle up with you on couch or in bed, share earphones and just spend time together.

- Each year you aren't sure what to get for him as a gift but in the end you end up getting something he loves.

- When it comes to him, he is a master at this! No idea how he is doing this.

- You don't mind any of the stuff he does, this makes your Christmas even more special. You couldn't be more perfect than they already are.

Shota Aizawa

- Shota wouldn't celebrate Christmas if it wasn't for you.

- Sure, it's a nice festive time but he prefers to use this free time to get some much deserved rest. It was like this until you showed up in his life.

- When others have big christmas trees that are fully decorated in rich lights and ornaments, he prefers a simple, small fake tree. 

- It's still not safe from the two cats you own but it's not as messy and won't hurt any kitty if they decide to hunt it down. 

- Not to mention the real tree is expensive, takes up the space and in the end it will leave a mess. It's not worth it, according to him.

-  He isn't up to decorating the whole flat but seeing how much you love it, he agrees to put up some more decorations.

- Shota wants to rest and hates cold weather but he agrees to go on a walk with you or help you with Christmas shopping.

- He reluctantly helps you with cooking, even if he prefers to just take a nap.

- There is one thing he actually loves to do, and it's dressing up your two cats. Shota loves seeing them in cute Christmas outfits. His phone is full of pictures of them just looking cute.

- His recipe for Christmas is easy. Tasty supper, exchanging gifts and snuggling on the couch while watching or listening to something. Shota really doesn't need much, all he wants for Christmas is you. 

- You can enjoy your movie/song while he naps holding you close.

- Surprisingly he has no problem with getting you a perfect gift, Shota is really perceptive so it's easy for him to pick something you need or will enjoy.

- When it comes to you getting him a gift it's even easier; a new sleeping bag or cozy blanket. That's all this man needs besides your love.

[gothicbarbie]

MY TOP 10 BEST BL COUPLES OF 2023

So I guess I'm a little late considering it's now 2024 in most places, but well, better late than never. I tried and failed to rank top 20 or even 10 kisses... I just couldn't remember them all or even choose... but most of my top couples have some pretty great kisses, so at least there's that! I can, however, rank my favorite BL pairings from 2023, so... let's do it! I will be ranking these from least favorite to favorite because I think it's more fun that way... Also I credited all the gif makers at the bottom but I did list the tumblr user for each specific gif underneath. If someone wants me to remove their gif, please let me know and I will so! I just wanted to pretty up the post a bit.

Also, to clarify, any couple on a show that is currently airing and not complete yet is not eligible to be on the list for 2023. Trust me, there were many I wanted to include!

Honorary Mentions:

Tinn & Gun | My School President

So, spoiler, a different GeminiFourth pairing will be on the actual top 10 so I didn't really want to include both pairings on the list, but I really did love the two of them in My School President. G/F just have such a wonderful and natural chemistry. The way they always look at each other just feels so pure and sweet. I really like pairings where one is secretly pining for the other, but Tinn/Gun also sorta had a hate/love ISH thing going for a little while. The progression of their relationship to actual boyfriends was just so fun to watch and really well done.

Dong Wook & Do Hyun | A Breeze of Love

I watched this BL so quickly that it didn't really resonate with me as well as some other series, which is why these two didn't make the top 10, however, I really enjoyed their relationship on the show. I love hate to love pairings and I found their backstory scenes really sweet as well. I also thought they had a really nice chemistry and there were some strong kissing moments for a kbl.

Jihan & Jaejun | City Boy Log

I didn't include these two on the main list for two reasons, one: the show is not over yet... i don't think? and two: this technically isn't a BL drama? IDK anymore, but regardless I love this series and this couple so dang much! I love the realness of them filming themselves and how their relationship is portrayed so subtly until their feelings just sort of emerge. They have some really wonderful and special scenes or moments together that we don't typically get on other series. I am anxious to see where the rest of the story goes and I hope the actors get another opportunity to work together. The side pairing is great too!

Top 10!

#10. Ai & Songkhram | Destiny Seeker

These two were so damn fun to watch, I really loved the hate to love thing at the start that quickly turned into love (Or I guess always sort of was???). The actors had such a great chemistry together and they had so many fun little moments and bantery scenes together. While the rest of the series felt a little flat for me, their connection continuously kept me interested.

#09. Ze Rui & Zong Yi | Kiseki Dear to Me

Honestly don't even know what to write about these two or how to explain why I like them, because there wasn't anything particularly special about their dynamic that typically draws me in, but I just really enjoyed the actors chemistry together and I really liked the progression of their relationship and how well they meshed together. Their kissing was extremely natural too.

#08. King & Eua | Bed Friend

Firstly, these two are HOT AF, and I really loved the friends with benefits storyline between these two, but more than that, we have a perfect character imo with King, who was continuously there for Eua and always trying to help him and make him understand how much he really cared. The show could be very dark at times but I love that King was always sort of the shining light for Eua.

#07. Segaski & Yoh | My Personal Weatherman

I can admit that the big draw to this show for me originally was the sexy scenes and moments, and while I do think the series could have done with some more scenery changes and better storylines, considering the time frame, I enjoyed watching the relationship between the two characters develop. It's nice to get a friends with benefits type of relationship and see how it progresses into more than that. And for a JBL it was nice to see some high heat with a happy ending.

#06. Su Yu & Wu Bi | Stay With Me

SIGH. THESE TWO. So I mean, I understand the criticism of this show and their relationship. So many things are implied but personally I felt like the end half made it pretty clear that these two were 100% a romantic couple. (just wish it was clarified when that change happened) But the progression of their relationship from hate to love was so beautiful to watch. Even if it was just a friendship it was worth it imo to see how close they got. Fair warning, the finale episode is not the best lmao, but I hope we get a second season to sort of fix it? Fingers crossed on that one.

#05. Wan & Ki Tae | Our Dating Sim

This was definitely one of the cutest BL's of the year and this couple falls into that category well too. I really loved seeing them re-connect. I love that they were old best friends (with feelings) that had a lot of issues to sort through and we saw some adorable flashback scenes as well as current scenes. I also love that they got together and were mostly happy instead of having a lot of intense drama.

#04. Li Ming & Heart | Moonlight Chicken

These two... so much to say about them and yet I don't really know where to start. Gemini and Fourth just work so well together and I felt like this duo was even deeper than in MSP. They started out on bad terms but quickly became close and I really loved the progression of their relationship and then I adored how we also got to see them together as a couple too. My favorite thing about them was how hard Li Ming worked to try to understand Heart and how he learned sign language for him and encouraged him to get to know others like him and to put himself out there. They also had such a fun banter with playful moments and scenes. It was just so damn pure and sweet to watch with no unnecessary or stupid fillery drama.

#03. Jae Won and Ji Hyun | The Eighth Sense

Something about this pairing just felt so much different than the typical KBL pairing. The show itself was so much deeper and had a more serious tone than we typically get, which was amazing. The actors nailed the roles and you could really feel the tension and longing between them right from the beginning. I loved their storyline so much and the actors seemed so comfortable together.

#02. Yamato & Kakeru | I Cannot Reach You

This was one of my favorite BL's of the year and their relationship was a huge part of it. I thought I was more into hate to love, but clearly, based on this list, that isn't always the case. There is something so sweet and adorable about best friends turned to lovers. I really love too when we see one side pining for the other, so this couple was extremely enjoyable to watch!

#01. Chen Yi & Ai Di | Kiseki Dear To Me

Good Lord these two... they had the perfect formula for my favorite type of pairing. Hate to love, drama, tension, angst, one-sided pining... it was so painful to have to wait every week for more. But god, it was worth the wait and their chemistry was just so good, their kisses were phenomenal too. Def. a memorable pair and a show I will be rewatching very soon!

THANK YOU to all these wonderful humans for making the most amazing gifs that I used in this post!

[jazzyblusnowflake]

In what ways do you believe V would display romance and affection?

V is... a difficult one smh. she hardly even allows anyone to touch her, and the solver had altered her AI beyond the possibility of her being able to relearn a new personality easily- or at least not overnight. Its like a semi-perminant trauma response.

so lets see-

V is prideful, even if she doesnt flaunt it like J, she couldnt bring herself to actually face people when shes doing something kind for them, she usually does it from behind the curtain. she doesnt want anyone to know she has anything soft about her, shes still scared of getting hurt, we have seen this several times during the show where she gets put off by the solver when Uzi uses it.

But when in a relationship she had to deal with the fact that the bond has to go both ways. it was... not easy for her to even admit she liked to be in a relationship in the first place. in fact i doubt if any of them even thought about it at all- before they knew what was happening they were all just an inseperable part of eachothers lives, and try as she might, N and Uzi just knew she cared about them lol.

V learned to open up a bit more. She opts for silence rather than flat out lying to peoples faces now, and when she feels ready to share something the others hear her out.

another thing that V does is trying to participate in things N and Uzi suggest. its really not easy to deal with 2 people who are so emotionally charged- so N and Uzi dont blame her for sitting out of activities but she tries to join them just to have the company, like going out around the desolate human cities looking for random stuff and sharing interests, or cuddling in a fort and doodling stuff- maybe even sometimes dancing or looking for clothes and getups. even though she might not participate in the activity herself, she still likes to be present and that itself shows N and Uzi that she cares.

speaking of clothes, Vs time with Lizzy showed her that a part of her still wishes she had the freedom to live as a normal drone for all the time that was robbed of her. she likes to look pretty and she likes to wear pretty outfits... something that she might have not had the choice on even if she had lived all her life as a normal drone. and showing the other two some of the outfits she choses and prettying herself up for her partners is probably a side of her shes not gonna willingly let anyone else see any time soon. N and Uzi arent complaining :p

Initiating any physical affections is something that she does rarely but sometimes even she craves the attention. Uzi and N feel like a cat had chosen to trust them lmao. She used to start really simple like curling her tail around N or Uzi or their leg or tail- she opted to skip hand holding and just go towards hugs or cuddles whenever she wanted the attention or N and Uzi were idly doing something and she just decides to join. sometimes she would demand neck scratches and rubs or head pats, she usually doesnt let anyone simply touch her so those are a big deal. and well if she goes for more like kisses or anything more intimate, she makes sure that her partners are okay with it and that shes not bothering them or forcing them by doing so.

Sleeping. thats it. V hardly allows herself to rest. the fact that she would let herself sleep around N or Uzi or even cuddle with them shows shes immensely trustful and happy of where she is right now. N and Uzi want to expload cuz its like a cat had fallen asleep on them and now they cant move cuz they dont wanna wake her up TvT

i think thats all i have for nowwww >:3

[sleepingdeath-light]

being her one true friend hcs ; azula

requested by ; batstickblog (16/06/22)

fandom(s) ; avatar: the last airbender

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; azula

outline ; “Azula x fem!reader (taking place event’s of Book One: Water) Shy daughter one of Imperial Firebenders. Visiting the palace, when she met the princess of the Fire Nation. Quickly closed friend’s and Azula truly care about the girl more than her two friends and brother before she leaves. Stories mixed between Fluffy and Fix-it fic.”

warning(s) ; canon typical levels of angst but mostly fluff

the two of you had first met when you were children — with your father having dragged you along to a war meeting with his fellow aristocrats in order to gain some sort of leverage with the ailing fire lord

he’d been beaming and filled to the bursting with the pride and aggression your kin were known for as he discussed strategy and hostile takeover — but you were just bored and looking for any opportunity to escape the clutches of thinly veiled mathematics and other boring grown up stuff

so you came up with an excuse of feeling sick and needing air, slipping away and running to the courtyard like your heels were on fire

and that was where you met your best friend

princess azula; the young daughter of the fire lord’s younger son — renowned overachiever and star student who earned nothing but praise from her tutors and family members

princess azula who was training right in front of you — blue flames pillaring up from her fingertips as she danced across the large flat stone she’d haphazardly thrown onto a shaded area in the far corner of the courtyard

you’d watched her for a while before she realised she had company and with the confidence only found in children, she invited you to spar with her

and, as the saying goes, the rest was history

as the years passed by, the two of you stuck by each other through it all — through her grandfather’s death, through her father’s coronation, through her mother’s disappearance and through her brother’s banishment

arm in arm and side by side through thick and thin — there was nothing that could separate you from each other

you trained together, you learned together, you lounged together, you mocked together and you grew up together — truly two peas in a pod

you were there cheering her on from the sidelines as she mastered her bending and were the one to push her to pursue lightning bending — there to help her work through her issues with her parents until she reached something close to contentment and acceptance

she was there ready to sponsor and help you reach your goals — funding your hobbies and bolstering your studies by giving you full access to the palace library on the condition that you spend more time with you — but also ready to scold your parents if ever they try and force you any which way (a princess outranks any aristocrat, after all)

and whilst she’d never be caught dead admitting how deeply she cares for you, it’s clear to see through how kindly she treats you compared to anyone else — soft eyes, gentle words, pushing you more when you think of giving up and threatening anyone who even thinks of hurting you

how she only ever sleeps soundly when she’s pressed against you: leaning against your side or lounging across your lap as she promises she’s just resting her eyes

how you’d always catch her smiling softly out of the corner of your eye whenever you’d start passionately ranting about your latest interest

how she balked and paled and started spitting out excuses when you overheard your father proposing that your family move into one of the earth kingdom cities that the army had just captured — far away from her and everything you’d ever known

a greater reaction than when her oldest friends left the capital — mai for the same reasons your family had considered and ty lee for the circus — and when her own brother was burned and banished

she feared — truly feared — losing you and it showed

but, thank the spirits, that day never came and your parents decided to stay in the city and you didn’t have to leave azula behind — honestly you could have cried

the week following that she barely left your side, finding every excuse she could to be around you — training, studying, practising her royal duties and on and on…

(not that you minded, of course, but you certainly got in your fair share of teasing remarks anyway)

and for a short while everything was back to normal — or as close as it could be with the fire nation being so close to winning the war

… until azula was assigned on a mission to retrieve her brother and uncle

…

that was a difficult conversation for the two of you to have: tearful, emotional, genuine and above all else hard

hard to be hugging not knowing how long you’d be apart (she couldn’t know exactly where zuko was after all)

hard for her to insist on you staying behind (not because you couldn’t hold your own but because she didn’t want to run the risk of you getting hurt under her watch — it would kill her to see you hurt)

hard for you to wave her off whilst keeping an encouraging smile on your face (because if you wavered then so would she — and you didn’t want her to give up this opportunity to further prove herself to her father)

hard for her to promise to fetch her dear brother and uncle back home safely before the comet hits (because, no matter how hard she tried, there was still a part of her that dreaded zuko stealing the love of their father and their people as he had their mother)

just hard in general, really

but somehow you managed, giving a hug and a cheek kiss goodbye before she hurried onto that boat — azula filled with determination as you waved her off

she would bring them home

she would do her part to help ensure the victory of the fire nation

she would come home safely to you

because, really, what other choice did she have?

she’d sworn it you she would and she’d never once broken a promise she’d made — not to you, not ever

so failure simply wasn’t an option

[dabislittlemouse]

DADDY B

Can I get dabi saying “I know you can’t lie to me, doll.”

istg its canon that he calls his s/o doll bc… yeah

Congrats on the milestone!!

THANK YOU KITTEN 🫦😩 this one kinda turned out longer than I expected.

I offer yall a very teasing asshole Dabi today :3

“𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥”

2K FOLLOWERS EVENT

You could not stand this man- his attitude and nonchalance, his arrogance, it made you boil in anger. Dabi was rude, vile and uncaring, always by himself and clearly showing the disinterest towards everyone in the League.

Well, towards everyone but you. And that was what made you not stand him at all. It was always the little teasing comments that he threw at you that drove you insane.

Today Shigaraki gathered the group for a meeting related to the League’s next move in Deika city. After listening to what the boss had to say, everyone had their turns to put in their thoughts and suggestions. And now it was your turn. You were paying close attention to the details in all seriousness.

“I think the plan is fine but.. I’d suggest we all stay together instead of splitting” you said.

“Is that so?”

You turned to the direction where that so-much hated voice came from. Dabi was leaning back on the chair, a smug grin gracing his face.

“Tell me more about it, doll” he said. His tone was teasing, acting as if he was oh, so interested in what you had to say. You let out a sharp breath, trying to keep your calm and not give him the satisfaction of knowing you were being bothered.

“They’ll have it easier to get us one by one and kill us if we split. They already outnumber us so it is best we all stay together” you cleared it out for him, a forced smile on your face that he so much loved.

“Not sure what you mean by ‘kill us’, cause there’s no way they are killing me” Dabi raised an eyebrow, testing you. “One blast of fire from my hand and I can turn hundreds of them to ashes. The same goes for the boss, who can disintegrate a considerable number of them. I think you underestimate your teammates, doll”

Underestimating wasn’t even what you were trying to say, because no matter how strong they all were, they can’t do much when being outnumbered by hundreds of citizens with unknown quirks! But he was just turning it his own way, making you feel like a fool!

“Well then if you’re so fucking confident in your powers then by all means, go by yourself! Not that you are ever around us anyway! We never needed you!” you scoffed.

“Ouch, that hurt!” Dabi chuckled, placing a hand on his chest to make the dramatic effect as if your words stabbed him.

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and suggested for you both to stop interacting if this was going to turn into a fight. After the meeting ended, everyone was heading out of the room, one by one. For some reason you were the last one that was about to get out.

Right behind Dabi.

As you waited for him to get out, he in fact stopped in his tracks. You stared at his back, confused.

“Um.. can you like.. move or something?” you said impatiently, wanting to get out and go to your room. The man ignored you, as he simply closed the door. You heard a click sound. He locked you both inside the meeting room.

“Huh- What are you doing?” you frowned. He turned at you, his azure eyes gleaming at you with something dark and twisted. Almost lustful. You swallowed, walking backwards as he got closer to you.

“You mad that I don’t like your stupid plan?” Dabi rasped out, hands on his pockets as he continued approaching you.

“As if!” you snapped. “I don’t need your approval for my ideas, you’re not the boss here. What I don’t like is your shitty attitude towards every fucking thing, you’re not the least cooperative”

“Because I simply don’t care” Dabi said, his tone flat. You walked back until you reached the table behind you. He got closer, too close, your bodies almost pressing together. Your breath hitched, has he ever heard of personal space?

“See? Why are you even here if you don’t care? Just leave the League already!”

Dabi laughed at your comment, both his hands resting on your sides. Now his broad chest pressed against yours.

“Leave the League? You’re funny, doll. And what will you do if I don’t, huh?” he whispered, as you felt his hot breath against your ear. “Will you kick my ass and constantly say how horrible I am?”

“Well if that’s what I’m left with..” you replied. You could feel your body heating up, and you weren’t sure if it was from him being close to you or from what you were feeling deep in your core.

Dabi clicked his tongue, a finger reaching to move some hair behind your ear. “But you like how horrible I am, don’t you?”

You gulped down nervously, eyes widening.

“N-No I don’t. Why would I!? You’re insufferable!”

“Am I? Tch, that’s a shame” he placed his warm hands on your hips, making you squirm. He chuckled at the effect he had on you.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me, Y/N” he said, his fingers tapping your sides, almost tickling you. “You like it when I tease you and mess with you, don’t you? That’s why you always fight me back…because you want more of my attention”

You squeezed your eyes shut, extremely embarrassed. Because as much as you hated his edgy mean ass, there indeed was a part of you that waited for him to throw teasing comments, that waited for the thrill of fighting him back whenever he messed with you. There was a part of you that deep down enjoyed that smug grin of his too much, those piercing blue eyes, that deep raspy voice of his. And you were trying your hardest to suffocate all those secret feelings and not let them come out.

“Y-You’re delusional” was all that you managed to say.

“Y’know that liars are what I hate most? Look at me” Dabi grabbed your chin to face him. His face was mere inches away as his lips brushed against yours. You froze, heart pounding against your chest. He placed a soft kiss on your lips, the kiss soon turned deeper, inserting his tongue and groaning as he explored your mouth. You moaned in response, your body already on fire and he didn’t even use his quirk.

But that was it. Dabi pulled away, not before giving your lower lip a teasing bite. He looked back at you and smiled at the already fucked out look in your face. All it took was a kiss.

“I know you can’t lie to me, doll”

[cer-rata]

Goddesses That Would Be Better Wonder Woman Antagonists Than Hera

Enough with Hera as a bitter, manipulative, shortsighted hag!!!

WE GET IT! HERA HATES ZEUS'S BASTARD KIDS! SHE GETS MAD ABOUT IT! ENOUGH! SHE HAS OTHER TRAITS!

*Cough*

I'm so sick of media making Hera a flat, hysterical cunt, especially compared to the general moral nuance that her entire pantheon represents. It's just lazy at this point and done to death, and for Wonder Woman to have to fight a woman who's main grievance is being cheated on and generally mistreated by her husband again and again again and again like...optics people.

So here are my choice picks for goddesses of other pantheons (and one Greek on) that would be interesting obstacles to Diana, both ideologically and materially. Also! I say antagonists on purpose, because generally in polytheism, gods aren't truly evil, even if they have negative attributes, it's always more complicated than that, and while these ladies WILL cause some conflict, they're all more than just flat villains. Most could reasonably also be allies, and Diana is all about making her foes into friends.

Skadi

A goddess and Jotunn, Skadi is the queen of bowhunting, skiing and winter, generally. Famous for storming Asgard alone to avenge her father, and being intimidating enough for Odin to choose to attempt to appease her instead, Skadi is intense, and fittingly cold, but also fair and capable of seeing reason. Her tentative truce with Odin and her failed marriage to the god of the summer, Njord, could be ripe to twist into reasons to cast her eye towards current events, both divine and mortal. A proud, mighty giantess that will do what she deems necessary to see justice done to herself? You can do stuff there.

Izanami-no-Mikoto

The Shinto creation deity turned goddess of death, Izanami is upset! Very upset! And fairly so! She's like if Eurydice got really livid after Orpheus ignored her simple instructions and vowed to break all of his little toys. Because that is exactly what happened, they almost have the same myth. As revenge for him messing up her resurrection, Izanami vowed to kill 1k people each day to hurt her husband, Izanagi, the other creator deity. Izanagi responded by making 1.5k new people each day, which...I mean solves maybe the wrong end of the problem but...

Unlike Hera, she poses an active threat to mortals and has the power to make dealing with her difficult. Maybe Diana and Amaterasu have to team up to deal with her insane...uh...step mother? Kind of? It's a little complicated, I'm not going into it, Wikipedia is your friend.

Ishtar

I'm going to be honest she's my mythology blorbo and I made this post for her okay--

The Mesopotamian goddess of love, war, conquest, divine law, the Queen of Heaven, patron of queer folk (No I'm not making that up, she's down for the gays mythologically speaking), Ishtar is complicated, a little strange, and funny, so funny. She's got a short temper, is easily offended, yet is generally fair and uninterested in harm coming to mortals. Her bit thing is how her conquest domain often manifests. She doesn't care about leading armies or whatever, she goes to attempts to swindle or fight other gods for their domains. Her big famous myth is about her hubris in attempting to single-handedly storm the underworld to steal the seat from her sister. She's incredibly powerful and self assured, a little petty, but not cruel. If you want a goddess who will show up, slap Diana down a city block and intend it as a friendly hello, while also vaguely suggesting that they make out, it's Ishtar. She's a perfect occasional antagonist/ally depending on her whims, and she's so disinterested in bothering humanity that you can really have mostly consequence free god fights. An arc where she decides that Ares is starting to embarrass the war god community and she's going to beat his ass and take his job? Diana has to try to get her to stop without offending her and making it a personal problem? Because again this woman is crazy, she has beaten a mountain to death because it wouldn't bow. It was not a sentient mountain. She'd be so much fun!

And we're going to ignore the version of her that showed up in "Black Adam" because that was boring, lame, and focused completely on the sexual angle, because straight men can only focus on one trait at a time--

Pele

Polynesian goddess of volcanoes, Pele fills a lot of the same niche's as Ishtar here, in that her rage and displeasure is catastrophic, befitting the personification of a volcano. Though even as a volcano god she's notably scary, in some tellings the previous volcano god who occupied the volcano she lives in now, caught wind that she was coming in his general direction--not specifically for him mind you, just in his direction--and he fled for his life, vacating the volcano. She's as multifaceted as a volcano though, bringing life as well as destruction. But you know. Her domain IS a natural disaster, so it's not hard to create a scenario where Diana would need to try to stop that from being a thing. Bonus points if she's irritated about the colonization of Hawaii, that could be an interesting narrative for Diana to contend with.

Nemesis

DC dropped the ball here as well, don't look her up, you REALLY don't want to see her design, it's nasty.

Anyway, Nemesis is the goddess of retribution, but SPECIFICALLY for the crime of "hubris" or arrogance against the gods. She punishes you for thinking you're hot stuff in comparison to the divine. She's the reason Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection and died. She did that. She thought he was a bitch, and she was correct. Why is that distinction important? Because she's not just vengeance, she's a tool to defend the honor and ego of the gods. Who in the DC universe would make the Greek gods feel disrespected and threatened? An alien who is willing to punch them in the face perhaps? We could have Diana desperately trying to stop this divine terminator from messing up her super friends who really don't understand the levels of petty the her pantheon is willing to stoop to to save face. Shes a winged warrior goddess with a heart of stone!!! Give us that fight!!!

Anything but Hera!!! Anything!!! Leave her alone!!!!

[bestworstcase]

I have a question about some of your Salem thoughts

If Salem is 110% certain that she can take down the Gods (assuming that's her goal since we don't actually know), why wouldn't she communicate her plan to Oz? Especially if she truly doesn't want anyone to die like you say. Oz would jump at the bit if Salem said "Hey I want to stop fighting" since that would mean their shadow war would stop. I really don't think Oz likes the Gods either, and even if he's afraid of them, if *Salem* is that confident she can stop them (she's far from an idiot), I'm sure he'd at least hear her out (which would tell Salem a LOT).

If she's that confident and truly doesn't want to fight, why wouldn't she tell Oz her new plan? And why would she kickstart her plan by attacking the kingdoms/Academies? Surely she could find a way to steal the Relics without flat out attacking them (like sending in double agents to take the Maiden powers)? Like... she would've known she'd get people killed, including children and innocent people. Even if she did damage control (which I think is just strategic, why bother going after people if she's focusing on the Relics? She's not gonna waste precious time and resources), she surely knew people would get caught in the crossfire.

Don't get me wrong, I like what you bring to the table!! Your posts are thought provoking and unique. But I can't see Salem being somehow secretly good. I don't think the show is setting her up that way, and I think she's a fantastic villain, so from my own perspective, doing that kind of twist would be a disservice to her character. I don't think she's inhuman or a complete and total monster who should go, but she's definitely not a good person especially if she can't communicate that she supposedly doesn't want people dead. She seems to be an "the ends justify the means" kind of person, and the show I think has stated that that isn't a good mindset i.e. Ironwood.

Sorry, I rambled and completely strayed from my point 😅 I don't mean to be mean if I come across that way. I hope my ask is interesting or thought provoking though :P

my position is that salem is right, not that she’s secretly good—that is an important distinction. i think she sees the gods clearly for what they are, thinks the divine ultimatum repulsive and unjust, wants remnant to be free, and believes that humanity is transcendent over their creators; she also, quite plainly, does not have any compunction about doing whatever it takes to achieve her ends and while i do think she is still fully capable of and driven by love, she is so TERRIFIED of being hurt again and so CERTAIN that no one could ever care for her that when she does care for someone else it comes out in very, very twisted and often cruel ways. she’s not good, she’s not nice, she’s just right.

equally the heroes are good but not right, because they have yet to really grapple with the premise of the divine mandate (that humanity as it exists right now does not deserve to exist) or their own role in upholding it (their immediate goal is survival, but when they envision the ending of this war they imagine salem driven back and the relics squirreled away again in hope of at best everlasting stalemate). the point of structuring the narrative this way is that neither side can get to the proverbial good ending alone; they need to work together, salem’s ends with the heroes’ means.

like. she’s evil. lol. that’s not in question and i think it goes without saying that she is doing evil things so i don’t feel the need to make a “but she’s still evil though” disclaimer every time i try to tease out what’s going on in her head. notice how my reaction to salem razing vale was OH GLINDA LAYS SIEGE TO THE EMERALD CITY, WE’RE REALLY IN IT NOW and not, like, shock or dismay that salem would do such a terrible thing. brgdfjs

(i DO think she has mostly been trying to avoid ozma and not reciprocating the shadow crusade against her prior to about fourteen years ago and that she isn’t about wanton destruction or killing for the sake of it; and in that sense i think she’s not as bad as the general fanon reading. but that comes with the territory of thinking she has actual reasons for doing what she does as opposed to being, like, a genocidal lunatic.)

anyway. to your questions. the short answer is she’s just as scared of oz as he is of her.

“but he’s the good one!”—think about this from her perspective for a minute. set aside your opinion of her and oz, presuppose for the moment that i’m correct on her motivations, and consider what everything ozma’s done in the last few thousand years looks like to her.

she knows that the gods were monsters. she witnessed them slaughtering the whole world and she saw how little it mattered to them after. she was alone for millions of years, and then hated and feared for thousands of years because she didn’t look human. all that suffering because the gods are punishing her for praying to them. yes?

then ozma returns to her, somehow. he doesn’t explain how or why—maybe he tells her he just doesn’t know—but that’s alright. what matters is that he’s here. he asks what happened to her, and she tells him the truth: the gods ended the world. cursed her. killed everyone. she was alone for so long. (maybe not the whole truth: there are things she’s afraid to say, because the gods did it all to punish her, and it’s her fault, and she’s so scared that he’d despise her if he knew everything. the only reason for her to fear ozma would reject her is if she blamed herself. you don’t hide things out of shame if you don’t feel ashamed of them.)

they learn each other again. fall in love all over again. things are finally okay. they fix up her house. they’re happy together. one day ozma tells her that he’s worried about how divided people are. she wants so badly to make him happy; she would move mountains for him. salem herself has no interest in ruling over people as a god—if she did, she wouldn’t have been living alone in a rotting shack in the middle of nowhere—all that enthusiasm is for him. to support what he wants.

they build a following, found a prosperous kingdom, start a family. four children! how long do you think they were married—ten years? twenty? and the whole time, the whole time, ozma was keeping these secrets from her. that the god of light, who’d condemned her to eternal suffering for praying to his brother, who’d shown utter indifference to the deaths of millions, had sent him back to redeem humanity FROM HER SINS, from what SALEM did. that the point of all this is cleansing humankind of her defiance and inviting THAT MONSTER to remnant to judge whether this world deserved to be subjugated under the brothers’ tyranny again or else be put to death.

imagine how she must have felt when ozma finally told her the truth, knowing that the first thing she told him was that the gods ended the last one. imagine the sickening realization that their whole marriage is built on a lie, because she would never, ever, ever have agreed to help him unite the world if she had known what he sought to unite them for, and ozma knew she never would. that he deceived her! manipulated her into serving the will of a god she knows to be a monster!

and even then—even to the very end—she loved him enough to try. she was willing to forgive all of that and figure out a way to move past it together, and the only thing she asked was that he walk away from his task of submitting this world to the judgment of THAT MONSTER. and he wouldn’t do it.

there’s a gap we don’t get to see, in between ozma backing away from her and salem catching him leaving with the girls, but we can infer that ozma walked out of that room and salem didn’t. imagine how she felt. ten years, twenty years, however long it was, and he was lying to her through it all, and he left her with hardly a moment’s hesitation when she refused to help him enact THAT MONSTER’S retribution against herself. because that is, ultimately, what this is all about; humanity is found guilty by association with her.

imagine how she felt. used. worthless. duped. like a fool for ever trusting him. did he ever love her at all, or was that a lie, too?

when she caught him in the hallway later that night, they both attack each other in the same instant. ozma remembers her attacking him first, but their volleys meet in perfect symmetry and right before salem throws her first bolt of magic, her eyes flicker down in surprise as she tracks the motion of his staff (which we see in the previous shot)—salem remembers him attacking her first.

because they were both so tense and scared and angry at each other that they snapped in exactly the same moment.

their battle is so intense they blow up the castle, and when the smoke clears, salem is a pile of ash. ash! he incinerated her! imagine how enraged you have to be to burn someone to ash. that level of fury, of absolute hatred of her, is literally burnt into her memory as the last thing he did to her before she managed to kill him, inextricably twisted around the guilt and unbearable grief she feels for her children.

he’s dedicated all but a handful of his lives since then to getting rid of her. finding a way to destroy her. (how far is he willing to go? what would happen if salem tried to move on, find community and solace somewhere far away from him? would he come after her? would he follow his god’s example and go after the people she cared about to punish her? is she willing to risk that he might?)

do you think salem understands why ozma did any of this? she doesn’t. she doesn’t get the luxury we do of jinn narrating his side of the story and showing us the anguish he felt, wanting so desperately to be with salem but eaten alive by terror of dooming the world for his happiness. she doesn’t know.

all she knows is how he treated her: the secrets, the deception, the manipulation, the immediate and absolute rejection when she told him no, the explosively violent anger at the end, then centuries upon centuries systematically erasing her from history and enforcing her exile whilst searching for the relics he needs to summon his god for the final judgment. which she knows will inevitably end in the annihilation of the whole world and yet more torture for her with no hope of reprieve, because if all of this was not enough to satisfy the god of light’s grudge against her for, again, just praying to his brother, nothing ever will.

salem feels about ozma now the way blake felt about adam. why did he lie to her, why did he use her, why does he keep coming back, why won’t he just LEAVE HER ALONE, hasn’t she suffered enough, hasn’t she been punished enough, when will it be enough—and intertwined with that, she is being EATEN ALIVE by the conviction that no one could ever truly care about her or feel for her or want to help her or think that she deserves help or even just see her as a person, because if ozma—ozma, the one who saved her from her father’s tower, who knew her and loved her before all of this happened—if ozma thought her so worthless that he would rather serve a god who ended the last world and promises to condemn this one too than suffer her to exist at all in this world, why the fuck would anyone else be any different?

thousands of years later, she still flies off the handle when anyone lies to her. (except cinder. but cinder is always the exception, to every rule.) there’s a reason she recruits the kind of people she does—desperate, broken, angry people starving for something she can promise to give them if they make themselves useful to her—and it’s because she does not believe that she can get anything better than strictly transactional relationships with people who have literally nothing and nowhere else to turn. and when she actually cares about someone? she fights herself tooth and claw over it because she desperately doesn’t want to open herself up to more heartbreak. look at how erratic and cruel she is with cinder.

it’s not rational. salem is smart and very, very tactically shrewd but she is making all of her plans and all of her choices from the assumption that she is and will always be alone in this, because she is unlovable, because she is worthless, because she is the reason this world is damned. and she’s terrified of ozma because to her everything he does suggests that his conviction and dedication to the god of light has never wavered. she cannot see his doubt. she cannot see his misery. she cannot see how much he misses her and desperately wants to make amends. all she can see is that he’s zealously guarding the relics and spreading his god’s word and training children to fight and die in the name of keeping her exiled.

why doesn’t ozma just go to her and tell her he wants to make amends? because he’s terrified she’ll never forgive him and terrified that he’ll damn the world to annihilation if he follows his heart. they’re the same. they’re exactly the same.

but this is also what makes it so possible—even easy—for salem to undergo a villain-to-hero arc, because the only thing that needs to happen is a spark of real hope. that someone, anyone, could really care about her. like. the things she says in her soliloquies about the transformative power of hope? “even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change,” and “it’s true that a simple spark can ignite hope, breathe fire into the hearts of the weary…”—that’s her. one small reason to hope. that is all she needs to change.

she doesn’t want to be razing kingdoms to the ground or cutting a bloody path through children to get those relics. she is willing to do it because she truly, genuinely, from the depths of her soul believes that it’s the only way to free herself from the torture she’s been subjected to for millions of years. she’s driven to this by desperation. she won’t keep doing it if she’s given a reason to feel less desperate.

but she does need to be given a reason, first. she’s hemorrhaging. this is why the winnowing of her inner circle and the split between everyone else in vacuo versus salem + cinder + summer in vale is important; Those Two are the ones she cares about—technically we don’t know for sure regarding summer yet, but the level of trust she has for the lieutenant holding beacon is suggestive—and that being reciprocated is what ignites her hope.

[akhillaous]

TikTok TSOA fans are so funny because they’ll swear up and down that they despise Achilles and “only read it for Patroclus who was sweet and innocent and did nothing wrong 🥹🥹” like ijbol u people are not serious. Hate Achilles all you want, he did do bad things, me personally I hate him for sacking certain Trojan cities and refusing the embassy, no one’s denying that he was wrong and that he was a bad person at times, but loving a character does not equal justifying their actions for one thing and to act like any character from the illiad was a paragon of perfect morality is fucking insane. ( Yes, even Hector, everyone’s favorite “🥺he was such a perfect husband🥺” man of the month ) It’s literally so crazy to say that Achilles was the only one of the two of them to actively commit bad deeds and war crimes during the WAR they were in. Just close the damn book I’m sorry but obviously a book with morally ambiguous and dark topics are not for you at this point. Like I get your point, what Achilles did was bad, it’s not like majority of people DONT agree with that point.

But characters are not supposed to be FLAT. They are not supposed to be all good or all bad. Your insistence that Patroclus was only a good person does not make him a good character. It actually makes him really fucking boring. I’m getting way too passionate about this but like I’m so over everyone acting like

1) Achilles was the worst person to exist in Greek mythology history when he’s not even the worst fucking person in the illiad itself 😭 ( that honor goes to Paris, Zeus, Aphrodite, and Agamemnon <3 )

2) A character can only be liked or appreciated or even just talked about if they fit modern ethical standards

Like every conversation I see about TSOA, any video on TikTok, there’s always a comment that has to bring it up like “I only liked Patroclus and he was an unreliable narrator so Achilles was actually much worse” Like okay we get it, God, fuck off please!

Also the whole thing between him and Apollo. PLEASE. Those two are two sides of the same exact coin. I think Apollo was justified in killing him but yall act like Apollo has not done the same if not worse than what he killed Achilles for. And that’s. FINE. I still love Apollo! For all the good and the bad that he does I think he’s the most interesting Greek God on the Pantheon and in the Illiad he’s actually one of my favorite characters to hear from. And I don’t expect the Greek god to act with good moral intentions. I expect him to act like a Greek god. I expect Achilles to act like a Greek demigod. Which is, exactly the way he acts. Maybe yall expected something different. If you wanted a short sweet story that happened to be queer with two perfectly acceptable, 100% goody two shoes main protagonists, please drop the classics inspired books and watch heartstopper.

[courtneysartblog]

The Places an Angel and Demon Inhabit Outside of Heaven and Hell:

I’ve seen a couple people talk about how Aziraphale’s bookshop is the anthesis to Heaven, cozy, warm, overcrowded with stuff, but I never see Crowley’s apartment in this discussion at all, so let’s do that! 

In so many ways Aziraphale goes against the grain of what it probably means to be an angel. He has and cares for and loves his material objects. And once we go to Heaven, we see just how much in contrast Aziraphale’s home is. The bookshop is sometimes darkly lit yes, but it’s also warm, lived in, well loved, antiquated, messy and so full of material objects where heaven is stark, bright, empty. At the end of season two Aziraphale is willing to give it all up (you can’t leave this bookshop/nothing lasts forever), but this is a final solution to Aziraphale, he's putting everything he is aside to protect, to save, but it’s not who he is.

Because when Aziraphale’s in heaven, he stands out from the angels. He has color, he not as put together, he feels, almost human (I think that’s why he looks so off when he’s discorporate and put in the all-white suit). 

Now in many ways Crowley is a foil to Aziraphale. He’s the grump to the sunshine, the dark to the light. And his space reflects that.

He’s neat as a pin, his flat is modern and spacious, and has much less stuff. And this is where my interest comes in, because, just like Aziraphale, Crowley’s place, the things he makes a home in, are the opposite of Hell. Hell is grungy, overly dark, messy, and kind of gross. Crowley’s home feels much less lived in than Aziraphale’s, but it’s obvious that Crowley has a style, that he’s a careful curator of things, and that his home is modern, stylish, and clean and full of modern luxury, a very different vibe than Hell. 

(There are no good photos of Hell but if your reading this, I know you know what it looks like)

But if Heaven and Hell are opposites and Crowley and Aziraphale’s places are opposites, that would make the bookshop more aligned with Hell and Crowley’s flat more aligned with Heaven. I want to thank the amazing prop people and set dressers who make each Good Omens location different, because yes they do an amazing job, but also Hell never reminds me of the bookshop nor does Crowley's flat remind me exactly of Heaven, even though they are more stylistically aligned. Yes, Aziraphale’s shop can be messy and dark, but it’s too human and cared for to ever truly be like Hell, and Crowley’s place is too carefully curated and too moody to ever be like Heaven.

But there are similarities there, especially for Crowley. And as a former Angel, it’s just so interesting to me that Crowley’s home would ever be, even a little bit, like Heaven. The trial of Hell is the only time Crowley’s place looks even a little like Hell, with the moody lighting and use of modern concrete, but in most ways, Crowley’s home is much more aligned with the Heaven aesthetic: it’s clean, somewhat barren, modern, a more expensive look, and probably has great views overlooking the city, much like Heaven has that big room overlooking the buildings of Earth. But we know Crowley does not see himself aligned with Heaven, and the difference in his set dressing makes the same distinctions that Aziraphale’s makes from both Hell and Heaven. Crowley might be made from the same stuff as an angel, but he’s grown too dark, grown too human, grown too attached to material objects. (It's also interesting to think how different Crowley's style is from Aziraphale but how, even still, the bookshop is somewhere he feels so comfortable, his home.)

Aziraphale and Crowley have spent too long on Earth, gone native. Humans, material objects, and love, things they have collected through their years, are not just a part of their history, it's shaped who they are. There's a reason an angel like Muriel is so naive, almost a clean slate, why we see even Haster and Liger have such a hard time appearing human, they haven't spent enough time there, they haven't been shaped yet.

Something, something, shades of grey, Aziraphale and Crowley hold a bit of each other and bit of Heaven and Hell, a lot of Earth inside themselves.

For both Aziraphale and Crowley there are remnants of Heaven and Hell in their spaces, but the differences set them in such stark contrast from the entities they are supposed to represent. Heaven and Hell are both modeled to be a corporate office building after all, Heaven the top floor where the important workers are, Hell the basement were the low rung workers toil. Aziraphale and Crowley have set themselves outside this dynamic, instead they have created a home, spaces that show just how different they are to their respective offices. Places, it think, that show they have learned what love is, what to be human is.

Anyway, here’s another reason to think every person who worked on Good Omens is brilliant. 

[manicplank]

OKAY. JOHN E. CHEESE HEADCANONS?! OR MAYBE JUST THE VIGILANTE?!

I'll do both!

The Vigilante

Vigi is an orphan. His parents were killed by rogue criminals that raided his farm. This is what inspired him to become a vigilante.

He was raised by his peepaw (grandpa) John E. Cheese.

Vigi is an animal lover.

Vigi and Noisette are close friends. They have a family-like friendship. (Sorry cheesecake shippers.)

The Vigilante produces a lot of non-pizza products sold in the tower.

Vigi is a very busy man. He's working from dawn to dusk.

Vigi likes plain black coffee with two sugar cubes.

Vigi is a little closed-minded and ignorant.

He's a flat-earther.

He can't do math. He knows basic math, and that's it. He still counts on his fingers.

Vigi is an older man. I feel like he's in his mid 40's.

Mort is Vigi's closest pet.

Vigi is one hell of a cowboy. He has a rat mount like Gustavo that he raised and trained himself.

Vigi is afraid of bugs, ESPECIALLY bees.

The Vigilante is one of the only justice figures in the tower (the others being the Pig City police).

Vigi cries every time a calf is born.

Vigi banned The Noise from the Fun Farm after he found him chasing Mort around. (He claims Mort started it.)

Vigi thinks racism is an extreme interest in racing.

Vigi doesn't like the cold.

John E. Cheese

John E. Cheese died peacefully of old age when Vigi was a teenager/young adult.

He taught Vigi how to cook, farm, shoot, etc.

He takes no shit. You wanna rob him? You bout to get a pitchfork up your ass.

He would defend the farm with his own two hands (and shotgun).

Even in death, he's still very protective of Vigi.

He doesn't like Peppino much. Thinks he was trespassing illegally.

He's very gullible.

He's good friends with King Ghost from the Pizzascare level.

His wife passed due to mold.

That's about all I can think of, but I'll more as time goes on.

[coffee-at-daybreak]

what we want | teldryn sero x reader

Ever since you helped clear Raven Rock mine recently, the town was seeing a boom in business. Miners were flocking to get their share of work in. As a result, the Retching Netch would become quite hectic every night, seeing as all the exhausted workers just wanted a nice meal and drink and a comfy place to stay. You were lucky to have come into the inn when you did, before the rush, so you managed to snag a table tucked away in the corner. You stare at the half-finished loaf of bread you’d been picking at, lost deep in thought despite the ruckus around you.

You’re jolted out of it when you feel a boot tap against your own under the table. “Still awake, serjo?” Teldryn asks.

You look up at him, met with his slightly concerned but amused red eyes. “Huh?”

“You haven’t even had a drink yet and you look out of it.” He tilts his head. “Everything alright?”

How dare he ask you that, with that damned helmet off, staring at you with those damned alluring eyes, on that damned captivating face of his. You’ve seen it before, but the effect it has on you is just as intense as the first time - your skin gets warm, your mouth goes dry, and your belly feels like it’s housing a frenzied moth with all its fluttering.

But you maintain your composure, thank the gods. You nod at him. “Y-yes, I’m just … thinking.”

“About what?”

You gulp, nervousness wringing your already unstable belly into a knot. “Well…"

Teldryn chuckles. “Uh oh.”

There’s a long pause as he patiently waits for you to gather your words. The sound of voices and laughter echo off the walls of the inn. You toss around options in your head for a moment, but you finally go with the blunt, flat approach.

“What are we?” You ask.

He simply stares at you for a second. “..What?” He finally shoots back, in a tone that makes you feel like you just asked something silly.

But it’s not something silly to you. There’s a lot about him and your relationship that you do know. You know that you started out as a simple patron and hireling pair. You were acquaintances, people who talked only to discuss plans and money and whatnot. Then you were friends - you talked about your backgrounds, about your adventures, about your interests and dreams. You went from simply using his company, to actually cherishing it.

And you don’t know when, or how, but you strayed onto the messy path of more than friends. His lingering touches when he helped adjust your armor. The soft tone you started to adopt when you said his name. The way you two embraced after a brutal, exhausting battle at a bandit fort. Sharing a bed at an inn or holding hands to stay together in a crowded city. In the heat of the moment, these things all came naturally to you, and you honestly had never given it much thought before.

But it hit you this morning, when you two had been locked in a practice sparring session, and one particular moment had you mere inches apart, and all you wanted to do was pin him down and kiss the life out of him. But he’d leaned back, declaring you’d had enough practice and it was time to get moving. And you’d finally felt the strangling weight of that dreaded thought.

You didn’t know what you were - just a patron and their hireling, or something more.

“W-well, it’s just…” You rub at your neck nervously. Your pulse sounds like thunder in your ears. “I don’t want to assume anything, but sometimes it feels like… maybe we…”

You can’t even get the words out. There’s a strange, suffocating fear gripping at your chest. You can’t help but worry that this will turn out to be a grand misunderstanding, and you’ll be made to look like a fool. Knowing that could end in Teldryn leaving your side is all the more terrifying.

He is silent for a second, which only increases your fear. Then he’s cracking a smile, one side of his mouth lifting. “You are adorable, Dovahkiin.”

Heat grows under your cheeks. You watch him as he crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. His boot taps yours again, playfully.

“What do you want us to be?” He asks.

You blink at him. “Wha- you can’t ask me that!”

“Why not?” He laughs.

“You could be setting me up here,” you mumble. The warmth on your skin is spreading everywhere, and you worry you’ll start sweating any minute now.

“Now, now, I may have my dark side, but I’m not evil.” Teldryn’s smile turns into a grin. “I just want to hear you say it.”

“You are the worst. I regret saying anything.”

“Come on, tell me.” His eyes narrow, staring at you with paralyzing intensity. “What do you want us to be, serjo?”

You fight the urge to pick up your abandoned piece of bread and throw it at him. Instead, you take a deep breath in. You shift your foot under the table, extending it so that your leg leans into his a little. He holds your gaze, but you notice the way his eyes relax from their narrowed glare.

“I want us to be more,” you say, trying to keep your voice as firm and as steady as you can keep it. “I want you to be more than just a mercenary, and I want to be more than just your boss. I want us to be together because we want to be, not because we have to be.”

There’s another tense silence, in which he continues to simply stare at you. Panic overtakes you and you wave your hands in front of you a little. “Unless of course, you don’t want the same. Then I shall pay you a handsome amount of septims and we can pretend I never-”

“Sh.” He interrupts sharply, which works because you stop and look back at him. Your entire body is in overdrive. Your heart feels like it might leap out of your throat.

Teldryn’s smile softens. He unfolds one of his arms and pats at his lap. “Come here.”

You give him a split second “are you insane” look but he urges you again. You swallow the last of your nerves and stand, knees feeling a little weak as you step over to him. You take a very unsure, very careful seat on his leg. One of his arms immediately wraps around your waist to pull you closer. His other arm dives to pick up your legs and drape them across his lap, so you are situated comfortably against him.

It’s not fear that’s fueling your crazed heart rate anymore, but a thrill of elation. Especially your eyes lock with his, and you realize you’ve never seen them this close up before, their intense red color more hypnotizing than ever. In the cozy lantern lights of the inn, you could sit and study his details forever, from the angles of his face to the tiniest scar notched into his skin.

“Firstly, I don’t do this with any of my patrons,” he says , his voice so much closer and warmer, now that you hear it better amongst the noise of the inn.

“I’d hope not. Because if so, you might be in the wrong field of employment,” you quip, and his body quivers beneath your own with his laughter. You snake an arm around his neck, resting it over his shoulders. You can’t help but smile, a cheesy but genuine smile. Relief starts to sweep through you, eradicating the last of your worries.

“Second, consider this my resignation as your hireling,” Teldryn continues.

You arch an eyebrow in question. “What is your new title, then?” You dare to ask.

His hand moves off your leg and reaches out to take your own hand into it. You’d never felt his hand without his gloves on before. His skin is calloused but warm, and like him, it feels so strong, so protective.

He lifts your joined hands to his lips, planting a delicate kiss on your knuckles. “Yours. All yours,” he murmurs against your skin.

Were he not holding you so firmly right now, you might have actually swooned. That flutter in your abdomen floats up to your chest, where your heart feels like it’s blooming in joy. You don’t even care if there happens to be anyone looking at you two. It’s hard to care about anything else right now when he’s holding you like this, and looking at you with a tenderness reserved for only you.

“I do like the sound of that,” you admit. “I’ll approve it, so long as we make it fair and you consider me yours as well.”

He grins up at you, his arm giving you a playful squeeze around your abdomen. “Deal.” Then he lowers his arm at your back, which drops you just enough for him to lean in and join your lips together, as if to seal your new agreement.

[enaspaces]

my shuri headcanons 𓃠

a dump of my thoughts because i love her and she’s taken over my mind

• on the trans/nonbinary spectrum. more specifically a demigirl and doesn’t care what pronouns you use on him. owns a binder for specific days that she wants her chest to look flat.

• very lesbian. her heart is for women and non-men 🏳️‍🌈

• i view her as a stud or a stem. it depends on how i’m feeling atm.

• she’s not just a nerd in the science sense she’s a huge fandom geek and has a stan twitter account to talk about her interests.

• also has fan edits of her favorite characters and interests saved on her phone. probably makes her own edits too.

• average minecraft enjoyer (she’s obsessed)

• reads a lot of wlw comics, novels, and other media bc they’re a gay ass.

• has AuDHD, argue with ur mama.

• is almost always seen wearing noise cancelling headphones or earbuds because she gets overstimulated at times. when she visits riri in chicago for the first time, the constant loud city noise is something he’s not used to. he had forgot to pack the headphones he made for himself so riri makes him a custom made pair to help him relax. they end up using riri’s more than their own. (riri indulgently put small cat ears on the top of them and shuri almost cried at the sight).

• catgirl energy. riri may make her look tall but that’s still a 5’5 girl twink that stopped growing at age 13. she’s small and likes to sit on counters, lab tables, the floor and any other weird place that’s not meant to be sat on. she curls up in a ball when she sleeps alone, and if she’s in the bed with someone else her limbs are all over their body. has cute sounding sneezes that m’baku makes fun of her for. one of the lab workers once found her asleep in a random corner of the room. naturally very light-footed and basically has human toe beans, making it very easy to sneak up on people without them hearing.

• has quite a few fidget toys to help her focus on work in the lab and ease her anxiety. a rubik’s cube, fidget spinners, stress ball, pop its, etc.

• she stims. so much. especially after she successfully completes a task or experiment and she’ll do a dance or do the lil hand flapping thing. her vocal stims are always random song lyrics or tiktok meme audios lol.

• has a sweet tooth. when okoye was a dora she’d occasionally bring candy or other sweets for her to snack on. riri goes to the store and buys him all the popular american snacks for him to try. nakia always has a mini stash prepared for when they visit her and toussaint in haiti.

• favorite color is purple. it just suits her.

• a GAMER™. she plays all genres but her favs are probably minecraft, puzzle, or rhythm games. did i mention minecraft? she loves it. riri loves rpgs and pvp games the most and has her play smash bros ultimate pretty often. they’re super competitive with each other and both sore losers lmao. shuri got her to play minecraft once and riri kept getting blown up by creepers.

• ↑ she becomes super close with mj, ned, and vivian through riri. they’re always on discord vc together playing games and doing many other things and it’s the most chaotic shit you’ve ever seen.

• if the word ticklish was personified. simply elbowing her in the stomach on accident would get a giggle outta her. every ticklish spot she has is extremely sensitive and you could have her curled up cackling in tears with ease.

• funny as hell for no reason. life of the party fr. she takes her jokester persona very seriously but sometimes she’s hilarious without even trying. the first time she ever smoked weed was with riri in her dorm and riri never laughed so hard in her life that day. shuri was literally all over the place. she’s definitely a lightweight too, just as goofy, giggly, and clingy in her drunken state.

• definitely likes kpop girl groups. I can’t prove it but they love loona you just have to trust me.

• also loves vocaloid and has a hatsune miku figure in her room somewhere. trust me on that.

• has a list of favorite black american artists. riri definitely put her on some r&b classics and less mainstream artists. has a massive celebrity crush on black women rappers.

• music taste is very versatile. her playlist has almost everything. she just can’t listen to one genre only, she’s too open minded and exploratory for that.

• he’s not one to fall in love easily, but when he does he falls hard. riri was the first person he ever fell for and it changed the trajectory of his life, poor thing had no idea what to do with that information.

• a romantic, lovesick loser. cannot flirt to save his life. flustering him is so fucking easy lmao. riri once called him shawty and he malfunctioned for 5 minutes. whenever he’s on the phone with riri his crush is genuinely so obvious to everyone around him. he be giggling and cheesing real hard 😭. kicking his feet squealing on the bed when he’s alone thinking about the cute nickname riri called him.

• her love language is acts of service and gift giving. she’s not always good with words or emotions so she expresses her appreciation towards her loved ones by distributing her wealth in many ways. buying riri things she might need for college, fixing stuff that breaks in nakia’s home. things like that.

• has trouble being vulnerable with those close to her. she’s lost so much, so opening up to new people is always a scary, big step. it took a while for her to let mj, ned, and viv into her heart because the closer she becomes with them, the more it’ll hurt if she loses them. they take her in with open arms regardless, because having a support system with people her age is something she needs. they take her seriously in ways that the elders don’t. they see her for who she is outside of being a royal figure to her country and allows her to be her full, authentic, geeky self. she’s able to grasp onto the youth that she almost lost when her family was taken away.

• very talkative. can infodump about an interest for hours and completely lose track of time if you let them. they cannot stay still when excited, nor can they keep eye contact, pacing around the room and darting their eyes everywhere while rambling about the history of vibrainium or something.

• maladaptive daydreaming. will lose herself in a song and start imagining scenarios in her head. t’challa once caught her in the act and refused to delete the video footage. sometimes, she pulls up the video her brother recorded just to hear his laughter in the background.

[astxrwar]

blunt force trauma [1/x]

SYNOPSIS: traumatized!Bucky x Brainwashed!supersoldier!reader.

Rating: M

Word Count: 5k

Content Warnings: Canon-typical violence and that is all (for now). Check out the tag "fic; blunt force trauma" for Content + ao3 chapter notes for extras if you're interested. <3

Read on AO3

[ 1 ] [2]

Bucky had known, is the thing. Before getting sucker-punched out of a fucking moving semi truck, before getting his ass kicked in a spectacularly fucking embarrassing fashion, before getting saved by two dipshits with government-financed uniforms and the most ridiculous fucking make-believe superhero names—

He had known that there were others like him.

Super-soldiers. Enhanced. Whatever.

Well—

He’d known about one.

~

The first time he sees her it’s March, nighttime, cold and dark and fucking raining, for like the fourth day in a row. He’s gone outside to take the garbage out, the last in a mundane and seemingly fucking endless procession of normal-human-being tasks that he is trying very hard to be comfortable in doing, day after day, the way he is also trying hard to be a normal human being in general, a concrete and intact person who attends his court-ordered therapy and grocery shops and goes outside semi-regularly and does not commit violence even when it definitely feels warranted.

He’s tired. He has a headache starting somewhere around his left temple, the muscles there beginning to tense and tighten and pulse, irritatingly, against his skull. He wants a fucking cigarette, and he’s going to have a cigarette— he keeps meaning to quit, because it’s really not a  great habit, even if he’s pretty sure the serum will keep him from getting, like, lung cancer, or something. He’d been a pack-a-day asshole in the 107th because they were free, and he’d stopped when he was him because he didn’t have wants or needs or desires as a soulless killing machine, so part of it is probably just— the way that it feels grounding, kind of, the acrid burn of the smoke and the bitter taste of tar and the gently flickering embers of the cherry this bright spot of red and orange against the endless black backdrop of the alleyway at night. It’s very human. Very selfish. Very not like the person he used to be.

He doesn’t see the figure standing there until the cigarette is already half-gone, presumably because they’d been mostly obscured from him by the massive industrial-size apartment complex dumpsters and also, more importantly, because they hadn’t moved at all in the entire time he’d been outside. And it’s something about that, the unnerving and inhuman stillness, something about the way that they’re holding themselves, the vicious and barely-restrained and entirely recognizable tension he can see— feel— even just in their silhouette, the way that they’re standing, it reminds him of—

Something.

Bucky can tell when the figure realizes he’s seen them; there’s this shift in the dark line of their shoulders, like an intake of breath.

He flicks his cigarette, scattering ash down onto the pavement, the flakes drifting in the puddles of dirt and oil and city grime, becoming waterlogged, sinking in until he can’t see them. 

They— she— she says his name. Her voice is quiet and hoarse and crackles like she hasn’t spoken in a while and like it had taken some amount of effort to do so now, and she says his full, legal, god-given name, like she knows him.

“How do you know who I am,” Bucky says, flat, a question, but not really phrased like one. He grinds the end of his cigarette against the brick side of the building until the ember is out, and tosses it into the open dumpster; he’s aware of her in his periphery, that instinctive part of him that he mostly tries not to think about tracking her presence and waiting for movement and anticipating, calculating, flexing the fingers of the metal arm at his sides and breathing in deep and slow and relishing in all of it a lot more than he knows he should be.

She doesn’t reply. He can’t make out her face, not with how dark it is, with where she’s standing, deep enough into the alleyway that none of the light from the buzzing and flickering street lamp closer to his end reaches her at all; there’s still something about the way that she’s holding herself that prickles with familiarity, recognition, but he can’t place it. He’s positive she’s not government or military, reasonably certain she’s not Dora Milaje, less sure she’s not some kind of HYDRA offshoot minion or some other kind of general bad news. 

“Are you going to try to kill me?” he says finally.

Her breath catches, like she’d choked on it, and it’s audible even over the muted sounds of TVs playing and casual conversation and arguing floating down from the scattered collection of open windows above the alley, even over the louder and more persistent dripdripdrip of water down from the gutters, the sounds of traffic that never fully relents drifting out from the road.

“No,” she says, with enough vehemence that it stuns him, for a second– he’s taken aback by the force of the word, and then also, a second later, by how absolutely uncertain she sounds. Like she doesn’t believe it herself, or maybe more like she really doesn’t know.

“Okay,” Bucky says slowly, after a pause. “Okay, so what do you—“

He makes a mistake, then— he turns, the sole of his boot grinding softly against the wet, dirt-streaked asphalt, and he takes all of an aborted half-step in her direction.

She stiffens.

Bucky trails off, his fingers curling into loose fists at his sides–

She flees.

He hadn’t been expecting that, fucking obviously, so he wastes an essential handful of seconds just processing what the fuck even just happened. By the time it occurs to him that she’d ran, by the time he moves to the other end of the alley and rounds the corner and stares out into the adjoining street, there’s just—

Nothing. Nobody. An empty stretch of pavement. She could have followed the road down past his field of vision, the line of it blurred in the distance by the gently misting rain; she could have gone down any number of nearby alleys, could have climbed a fire escape onto the roof. If he’d been expecting it, he could have followed fast enough to see, but—

He hadn’t. 

He’d honestly expected her to fucking attack him, not— run. 

“Fuck,” Bucky says aloud, to nobody. 

He turns back to his apartment building, kicks a rock and watches it skitter across the glittering wet pavement and into the shadows.

He lights another cigarette.

~

He’s wired and on edge for hours afterwards, meaning he doesn’t sleep well. That thing inside of him is itching for it, a fight, an excuse, something to break the painful fucking monotony of his life these days; his therapist keeps saying that he’ll get used to this, the boredom of normalcy, and while he nods and plays along during the sessions, he’s not sure that’s even the issue.

He is used to it. He has a routine. He cooks and cleans and does general life maintenance on a strict and unwavering schedule. He even goes out once a week, goes and gets sushi and drinks with Yori, and even if that might technically not count as a friendship, it’s– something. He has a life. A normal, boring, regular, semi-adjusted life.

He just– 

He just doesn’t fucking like it.

It sucks, right, because back in Bucharest he remembers wanting this so fucking badly, wanting to just be normal, to be able to go grocery shopping and cook meals and listen to the radio and do nothing. Be nobody. And now that he has it, for real, forever, it’s like his stupid fucking brain has decided nope, y’know what, I don’t really want this after all.

What he wants, honestly, is another cause to throw himself into. Another banner to follow blind. Something that would let him relieve some of this constant fucking pressure, this itch just under his skin, this feeling like he’s forcing down and holding back and choking on all the worst parts of who he is, with no outlets to turn to, no options, no hope for relief.

I don’t do that anymore, is what he says to people, the pre-programmed line another term for the conditions of his parole. 

What he doesn’t say to anyone: I kind of miss it a fucking lot, though. 

Bucky stares up at the slowly-turning blades of his ceiling fan until his vision goes blurry and it turns into this meaningless shifting shape in the dark, and then he closes them, finally, and tries to will himself to sleep.

He should tell his therapist.

There’s a lot of things he should tell his therapist. I have nightmares, still. I probably qualify as paranoid. I made friends with the father of one of the men that I killed, and I go out to eat with him every week, and I think I feel just as bad about doing it as I would if I didn’t. I still haven’t figured out how to work that TV in the apartment, even though I said that I did, and I don’t even really know why I lied. I miss hurting people. I can’t sleep. 

“How have you been, James,” she says, peering at him across a cheap-looking wooden table, her pen poised threateningly– okay, not threateningly, but, like, still, threateningly – over a blank notebook page. The chair he’s sitting in is straight-backed and uncomfortable and slightly too small, and he wonders if that’s on purpose. “Anything new happening?”

She always asks this, in the beginning, like an ice-breaker, or something, except it feels like the opposite. It always feels–stiff, and perfunctory, and performative. That’s another thing– before all this, he used to be great at shooting the shit, talking about weather and sports and who’s seeing who and all that meaningless, petty nothing; he missed it, too, when he first started coming out of the fucking fugue state. And then it’s like– all those disassociated and splintered pieces of himself reintegrated, fused, solidified into something vaguely resembling a whole person, and he found that actually, he couldn’t stand any of it, anymore.

“Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’ and leaning back in the chair until it creaks, dangerously, like it might break. Fucking government office, you’d think they could afford decent and non-flimsy furniture. Doc glares at him like he’s full of shit and he makes a point to dial back the affected nonchalance, gauging her response to try to figure out the range of what might strike her as believable. “Nothing. Same old, same old. You know.”

Someone found me, yesterday. They knew me. 

She narrows her eyes. Scribbles something down. The scratch of the pen on paper sets his teeth on edge, makes a muscle in his jaw twitch, erratic and uncontrollable. He forces himself to stay very still, not to lean over, not to try to look. Forces himself to smile.

Wonders, vaguely, if it even looks like he’s smiling, or if it just looks like he’s baring his teeth.

~

Days pass. Then weeks. A whole month.

At first, Bucky maintains that alertness; his senses sharpen, expectant, the handful of times he ventures out to toss the garbage or have a cigarette at night, and he sleeps in short, fitful bursts, waking with a start at the sound of cars backfiring on the street outside or the building settling as the temperature drops or the radiator when it creaks, just a little louder than usual, as the heat kicks on. He doesn’t mind any of this, actually, and that’s another thing he knows he should probably tell his therapist.

Hey, Doc, I’m kinda thinking somebody wants to murder me, so I’ve started keeping a knife under my pillow again, and I’ve really only been sleeping for like, an hour or two at a time. 

Weird thing, though– I feel better than I have in weeks, and I haven’t had any nightmares.

He does not tell his therapist, for a lot of reasons. Part of that is because he guesses she’d want to have the military deal with it, whatever it even is, which is just–absolutely not necessary. He’s a grown man, a fucking ex-assassin, for god’s sake, he can handle his own shit; but then there’s also the fact that she doesn’t even really know he’s still having nightmares. She suspects, he’s pretty sure, but he’d started denying it the fourth or fifth appointment in, got tired of her saying stupid shit like let’s do an exercise; I want you to describe it to me and talking about it will help, James, and you should try establishing a relaxing bedtime routine. 

Planning contingencies in case he’s attacked in his sleep, he’s pretty sure, does not count as a relaxing bedtime routine, but even still. Whatever works, right?

And it does work, for the first week, and then the second week, and then some of the third week, too, but eventually that pervasive vigilance starts to wane in the absence of any actual threat, and there’s nothing he can do to maintain it– it’s instinctive, that response, and while he can force himself to go through the motions, the checking and the watching and the knives stashed in places, he can’t bring that feeling back.

She’s never there. He looks, at night, lingers for a while and paces aimlessly after he’s tossed in the trash and his cigarette has gone out, sometimes even lights a second one and stays out even longer, leaned back against the brick and waiting, still, silent, like maybe if he goes long enough without moving at all she’d just reappear out of thin air, like a magic trick.

That doesn’t happen, because of course it doesn’t.

Eventually he starts to run short on the drive for that, too. Humans, it’s just how they are– get nothing for long enough and they’ll start to lose interest in trying. Bucky used to be above those kinds of things, or beyond them, or something like that; he could maintain single-minded focus on something for months, years, when it was necessary. 

Bucky misses that, too, sometimes. But he’s human now, or some approximation of it, and so eventually he stops looking so hard. Just glances over at the spot where she’d been standing, tosses the trash in, finishes his cigarette, heads back inside. He sometimes tries to find her in the daytime, in the people he passes on the street, in the dark figures at the bar when he goes out with Yori, cataloging the stature and posture and the shapes of strangers, the way a girl holds her shoulders in line at the grocery store or how the bartender will sometimes stay leaned against the counter for a long while, perfectly still.

But he never sees her. Not once. He’d know, he thinks, if he did; he might not have seen her face, or really anything beyond her silhouette, but there was something eerily familiar and immediately distinctive about the way that she held herself, how she stood, how she moved. The pieces of that he sees reflected in other people are never enough to trigger that same automatic, visceral feeling of recognition.

That vigilance– it just keeps fading. 

He starts to sleep in larger and larger chunks, unbroken, and the nightmares come back.

~

“How are you doing, James?”

“I’m doing good, Doc, how about you.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question. He’s tired and his jaw hurts and his teeth feel weird in his mouth, loose and sore and wrong– he’s probably been grinding them in his sleep again. The thought aggravates him, the idea that his body does things now that he can’t control.

“Bullshit,” she says, and he tightens his grip on the armrest of the chair, a reflex, until he can feel the wood give a little under his fingers, like it might splinter into pieces in his hand. 

“Yeah, y’know what, I have a headache,” he says, mulish and stubborn and not in the fucking mood.

Doc just stares at him, lets the silence stretch and stretch and stretch– in the beginning, when she would do this shit, he’d just stare right back and say nothing for the entire forty-five minutes. Learned real quickly that just makes things worse, because she started making him come in twice a week. He’s down to twice a month, now, and would really like to keep it that way–ideally would like to make it less, even, if possible. 

Bucky sighs and he shifts in the chair and he runs his tongue over his teeth and gives up on attempting to tamp down the irritation that he knows he wasn’t doing all that great a job at disguising to begin with. He thinks about what to say, and it’s like threading a needle, kind of, trying to find that sweet spot, something that sounds like honesty without feeling like he’s being fucking– violated.

He ends up telling her about how he’d went and made a nighttime routine and that’d stopped the nightmares. He does not tell her that the routine involved checking the locks on all the windows and scuffing the hinges on the door enough to make sure it would creak if anybody opened it more than halfway, taping knives under the end table in the living room and on the inside of the door to the coat closet in the hall.

She looks– suspicious. Uncertain. Like she doesn’t trust him, but isn’t quite decided on whether or not he’s lying.

Bucky smiles, again. 

She relaxes, just a little.

He’s been practicing– how to do it and make sure it reaches his eyes.

~

It’s that same night that it happens again. He’s tired and still irritated and his jaw hurts, this tense, throbbing pain that comes and goes in waves and just pisses him off more, and he’s thinking about how much he fucking hates therapy and how ridiculous it is that anyone in the world would pay money for that, to be examined like a bug under a microscope, vivisected and picked apart until there’s nothing left. 

All it’s doing is making him a more convincing liar, he thinks, bitter and sour and mean.

Bucky stops in the alleyway to have a cigarette before going inside, because he’s pissy and wants one. He does that cursory once-over of the spot behind the dumpster and there’s nothing, which is expected, and so he leans back against the soot-stained brick and shoves one hand in the pocket of his jacket and sighs and tries to just– not want to commit murder. 

He notices it by chance. 

From here, he can see his own bedroom window, four stories up, the drapes shuttered. It’s like six at night, but it’s April, so it’s not pitch-black, the sky that sort of soft blue-purple color with the sun obscured behind the endless sprawl of buildings. It’s still bright enough for him to be able to see the shadows of the folds in the curtains. Bright enough for him to see them move.

It’s not a lot, just a slight shift of the fabric, the shadows rippling like the air had changed inside the room– it could have been a trick of the light, he reasons, he could be overstressed and underslept and kind of loopy off all of the half-second buzz he gets from the nicotine, seeing things. It could be the stupid fucking window, the fact that he knows the seal around the edges needs to be repaired; it had been drafty as hell all winter. It could just be that the radiator had happened to switch on at that exact moment, sent a rush of heat spilling up to the ceiling that swayed the drapes just enough to make him think that there’d been– something.

Those are all perfectly viable explanations. None of them settle his pulse. 

He thinks he can probably feel his senses heighten, like everything in his field of vision sliding into better focus, or maybe his awareness of them just amplified; same with his hearing, the din of constant city noise sorting out into isolated and individual sounds that he filters through as he stalks the length of the lobby hallway, takes the stairs two at a time, silent and barely breathing.

When he gets to his floor he stops on the landing. Listens. There’s the muffled noise of traffic outside, a horn going off that sparks two others in quick succession, all from different cars; the couple three doors down from his whose argument is devolving into yelling at each other, again, their voices overlapping and rising in volume; the echo of scattered, tinny applause from what’s probably a TV on in an apartment upstairs.

And then there’s this soft, unassuming thump that comes from his apartment; nonspecific, maybe just the building settling as the temperature drops, but Bucky still stops breathing entirely and holds himself very, very still and waits–

But there’s nothing else. Nothing important. 

He tells himself sternly not to get his hopes up, and then realizes a half-second later that he’s not even sure what that means– if he’s hoping that there will be something or hoping that there won’t be.

His doormat is crooked. Just a little, one of the corners closest to the hallway folded over, kicked up, something that could have just happened by accident, a misstep from someone else living in the building, but–

That’s way too many fucking coincidences.

He opens the door as quietly as he can, enough to slip through and into the foyer but not quite far enough for the hinges to scrape against one another in the places where he’d scratched divots into them. The lights are off in the apartment, his living room and the adjoining kitchen shrouded in that late twilight shade of purplish-black; he sees a solid shadow in the corner by the fridge and something inside of him lights up and comes alive and floods his entire nervous system with this immediate shock of energy and it’s like everything just sharpens, his awareness of the world around him, like everything had been fuzzy and gray and muted before and now it’s not, the shadows are darker and richer and the colors are brighter and he stops feeling like he’s watching the world slip past him in this monotonous and unending blur.

She doesn’t hear him until he’s almost all the way across the living room, and even when she turns he just raises his arms up, a gesture he hopes comes off as nonthreatening.

She doesn’t move.

Bucky steps into the kitchen— it’s an open floor plan, so, honestly, there isn’t really a strict dividing line— and realizes his mistake as soon as he gets his palms flat on the counter. He’d meant to close the distance and show her that he’s not going to hurt her, keep his hands open and within her line of sight, but he’d miscalculated by a fucking large margin. There’s nowhere for her to go, he’d trapped her in the corner, not even on purpose; the door and the window in the bedroom are her only exits, and he’d situated himself directly in between both of them.

The last time, she’d ran, when he’d tried to get close.

Belatedly, it occurs to him as he watches the stiffening line of her posture that if she can’t run, she’s probably going to–

She lunges for him and swings at his head and he sidesteps it, moving down further along the long side of the dividing counter. He’s not even between her and the door anymore, but it doesn’t matter, she just keeps moving towards him, and her face, when he sees it– her expression– her eyes, that violent and single-minded focus, the strange serenity to them, like her mind is blank and her head is empty except for the way that she’s tracking him, the steady steps that he keeps taking back, and back, and back–

“Listen,” he says, “I don’t want to hurt–”

She lashes out at him mid-sentence and he jerks back and hits the wall in the adjoining hallway; he’s operating mostly on an old and familiar instinct so he twists to the side when she tries to hit him again before he can think twice about it, realizes only afterwards that he’d been standing in front of a support beam and he should have just let her hit him, it’s not like she could hurt him, and she’s going to break her fucking hand–

She hits the two-by-four dead-on and he expects to hear the solid awful crunch of the bones in her knuckles or her wrist, but what he actually hears instead is the drywall crack as an impact crater erupts out from under her fist and the plaster crumble like wet sand and the two-by-four fucking snap, bow in on itself and splinter into jagged shards like a tree hit dead-on by a car veering off a highway.

“Oh, shit ,” he says, aloud, and suddenly a lot of that instinctive and unthinking recognition starts to make a lot of fucking sense. “You’re–”

She swings for his head again and he ducks and lurches backwards and catches her next attempt with the metal arm– he deflects it harmlessly to the side, but the angle is strange and he ends up absorbing a lot of the momentum and the force of the blow jars all the way up to his shoulder, and, holy fuck, yeah, she’s exactly what he thought, she has to be–

“Will you– just– stop,” he tells her, or tries to. She’s gotten close again and the sentence is cut off when she goes for his sternum with her elbow and he barely manages to move back, a few milliseconds from having the wind knocked clean out of him, and then a second time as she steps in to knee him in the ribs and he’s force to twist to one side at some strange angle that nearly has him off-balance. She’s fucking fast, Jesus Christ; he catches her arm when she swings at him again, grabs her wrist with his hand and presses the metal one out flat to the inside of her bicep and tries to force her backwards into the wall, but she steps in and closer to him before he can gather the momentum and this time she throws her elbow towards his fucking face–

Bucky makes the split-second decision to just let go and try to put some fucking distance between them, retreating back into the kitchen.

He doesn’t want to hurt her, not if he can help it, not with how she looks right now as she advances on him— there’s something in her eyes that he doesn’t just recognize, something that he knows, it’s like looking into a fucking mirror if mirrors could be fucking portals into the past, or something.

“Stop,” he says, again; they’re following each other around the long counter in his kitchen, now, her eyes fixed on his with this startling precision, staring him down like a cornered animal. And, god, he fucking gets that, if only she’d just–

She seems to realize after a few seconds that they’re just circling, because she leverages herself up on the counter and slides across it and nearly breaks his nose with her heel.

He catches her next punch dead-on and the look of blank fucking shock on her face is satisfying in ways that he knows, rationally, shouldn’t be. 

“Listen to me,” he says, and she doesn’t, predictably, but when she steps in to try to hit him and maneuver out of his grip like the last time he just uses her own momentum to get her turned around and pinned flat down to the counter with both of her arms twisted behind her back, held together with one of his hands, applying enough pressure to keep her there without tearing ligaments. She thrashes, violently, catches him with her feet a couple of times in the shins, but he’s running on adrenaline and the pain doesn’t even really register as pain at all, the way it used to, like it’s all just sensation, no more important than temperature or hunger or pressure or time.

“Listen,” Bucky says, again, trying to keep his voice nonthreatening but not sure how well he manages that, “Listen, alright, I don’t want to hurt you, just relax.“

The thing about the stupid counter in his kitchen is that it’s not really at waist height, even for him, which means when he’d forced her down onto it she wasn’t bent over at an angle deep enough for him to have the leverage to keep her there for long. The ideal position would be anything more than ninety degrees, an angle that would have someone stuck and unable to straighten against the pressure without the use of their arms; the thing about that stupid fucking counter being so high up and her being shorter than him by a meaningful margin is that the edge of it doesn’t even come close to hitting her waist and the angle he’s holding her at is incredibly fucking shallow. It wouldn’t be that hard, if she were to realize all of that, for her to drop her weight down and press into the counter with her knees to force him backwards; it wouldn’t even have to be far, there's a lip jutting out from the top that she's bent over, so there’s space between her and the side of it already. She’d only need enough room to brace her feet and push-- the legs are the strongest muscle group in the human body, and the impact when he hits whatever’s behind him would be more than enough to force his grip to loosen.

Bucky had been aware of all that, is the thing. Obviously. He’s a professional. 

He just thought it might have taken her a little longer to figure it out.

His back hits the fridge hard enough that it rattles all of the contents inside and forces the air out of his lungs with a pained and entirely involuntary groan and though he tries real fucking hard to keep ahold of her, he loses track of one of her arms.

She starts to turn against his grip on the other and from that look on her face he knows— intimately, personally, from fucking experience— what will happen next. Either she will keep going, keep twisting until she can hit him hard enough to escape and tear the tendon in her arm in the process, or—

Bucky lets go.

She scrambles back and away from him. He stays perfectly still, not moving his hand from where it’s still half-outstretched and open. 

She only looks at him for what’s probably less than a second before she makes for the door, but it feels like so much longer. That kind of glassy, thoughtless fog breaks, when she does, and her eyes widen a fraction and something glints inside them, fragile and expressive and aware.

It’s just that one second, and then she’s gone, the door to his apartment ajar and swaying farther open, pushed by the air that had moved when she’d slipped past it.

Bucky releases the breath he’d been holding, and slumps back against the fridge. 

~

That night he does a bug sweep for the first time in what feels like forever. There aren’t any, which is almost halfway to a surprise; he checks again for anything left behind, and again, more carefully, for anything out of place, but finds nothing.

Later, laying on his mattress and staring up into the dark, he thinks about calling Sam. He still doesn’t know anything about her, who she is or who she works for or what she wants, from him and then just in general; she’s had some kind of serum, and she moved like she’d been trained— like she’d been conditioned, how she hadn’t even hesitated at the thought of causing herself some pretty fucking significant damage to escape, the same way an animal in a trap gnaws off its' own leg. 

That’s a lot of fucking glaring red flags, and she’d broken into his apartment.

He should definitely tell Sam. Or anyone, really. 

The thing is, though—

He’d recognized something in her, the very first time. If he was going to tell anyone, he would have done it then.

No, this is— it’s fine. He can handle this himself, Bucky decides, and then closes his eyes.

He doesn’t sleep for long, but he doesn’t have any nightmares.

[coldflasher]

so me and my friend had to put our flash (re)watch on pause for a while bc she broke her ankle so we haven't seen each other in a while, but we finally picked season 8 back up and. god. i don't even have anything funny or insightful to say about it because it's just bad. it's so bad. and i couldn't even put my finger on why it was so bad at first, but eventually my friend pointed out that like. NOTHING happens. the characters literally just stand in a circle and talk. then whenever something DOES happen they go "hey so this thing just happened, hold on a sec while i describe it word for word in case you missed it." there's no action 90% of the time and there's no meta of the week for the most part so every episode feels samey and directionless as we slowly crawl our way towards a resolution of a plotline that isn't particularly compelling anyway

the characters are flat and nothingy. barry, the main character of the show, does FUCKING NOTHING EVER. there was one scene where he was running down the street, which he obviously used to do in every single ep, and my friend was like "holy shit i feel like we haven't actually seen him RUN in ages" and she was right. the man whose WHOLE SUPERPOWER IS RUNNING VERY FAST DOESN'T RUN ANYWHERE ONSCREEN FOR LIKE SIX EPS STRAIGHT. we see him run in and out of rooms but never see a straight shot of him running TO anywhere. WHY?

then there's the fact that the overarching plots are bad. the characters are split into two factions that don't interact at all. iris having time sickness could be cool and interesting and there's lots of potential for interesting character work there, but instead of making anything happen they have her sit on a couch and not touch anything in case she erases it from the timeline.

at one point she literally GOES MISSING and barry just. DOES NOTHING?? im sorry, fuck whatever else is happening, you know if iris disappeared he'd be tearing the city apart looking for her but all that happens is cecile is like "omg barry i can feel that you're sad, what's going on??" and he's like "iris is missing, im worried about her." WHAT!! THEN FUCKING LOOK FOR HER YOU DINGBAT!! i've said this before but s1-4 barry would absolutely beat the shit out of this version of himself if he found out about this

and don't even get me STARTED on caitlin and her almost husband, the skeleton fire demon who eats grief---again, this had the bare bones (pun intended) of an interesting plotline; a meta that feeds off people's grief could actually be really powerful and interesting to explore, but he's a magic skeleton from another universe who tricks her by pretending to be her dead husband so it's just stupid. at one point the characters like "why are we doing this plotline now, 7 years after ronnie died?" and i'm like yes, why ARE we? because again, having caitlin fall prey to the manipulations of a malevolent force that feeds on grief would actually be very topical and interesting if it had happened in, say, s2, when ronnie had just died for the second time. if her grief was fresh and raw and painful it could be conceivable that she'd be desperate enough to go "well i thought he was dead once and he survived, maybe he did it again", and cling to that, allowing herself to be tricked into believing this evil sentient flame skull was really ronnie. but it's been SEVEN YEARS and she literally just got a new boyfriend who has no personality and who we never see again, so it doesn't make any sense and i don't care. also the show keeps trying to convince you to care by having caitlin go "ronnie was such a valuable member of the team, you knew and loved him!!" and it's like... did we though? did we really? he's never made a big impression on me personally. the only character who was close to ronnie and actually knew him was cisco and he's not here. they added a few flashbacks and a proposal scene to try and make us care more about the caitlin/ronnie relationship but they didnt do anything for me because i was too busy staring at danielle's terrible wig. like babes that is NOT what caitlin's s1 hair looked like, did you even try

the skeleton fire demon stuff is actually kind of enjoyable to watch at times purely because it's so fucking ridiculous, the whole thing is a trainwreck, so i did somewhat enjoy getting to make fun of it but JESUS CHRIST IT'S SO TERRIBLE. HOW DID THE SHOW FALL SO FAR. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED